


The Land of Dragons and Dungeons

by celynBrum (Celyn_Brum)



Category: Dungeons & Dragons (Roleplaying Game), Homestuck, Pathfinder (RPG)
Genre: Action/Adventure, Drug Abuse, Fantasy World, God Tier, Gods, I'll Update The Tags And Ratings As I Go, Implied Child Abuse, RPG Mechanics, Suggestions From The Peanut Gallery, Weird Reincarnation Bullshit
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-06-02
Updated: 2017-10-01
Packaged: 2017-11-06 14:47:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 166
Words: 641,953
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/420086
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Celyn_Brum/pseuds/celynBrum
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The halls of the Gods are empty, echoing with unheard prayers.</p><p>The forces of corruption and decay are growing in power. Soon they shall sweep across the world like an unholy plague.</p><p>From the deep caverns beneath the majestic Dragonshard Mountains, across the mighty Greenweald Forest, to the fair city of Porthaven on the storm-wracked coast, there are fourteen people with the mark of a divine ruler on their skin. They do not know it, but they and only they can save the world from apocalypse and ruin.</p><p>So naturally, they're going to spend as long as possible arsing about slaying monsters and looting ancient temples. 'Cos, you know, <em>adventurers</em>.<br/>___<br/><em>Readers can make one suggestion per new chapter posted, and one Hero Point vote per round of voting (rounds are four chapters long).</em></p>
            </blockquote>





	1. ==> Dreamer: Remember

## ==> Dreamer: Remember

PAST carcinoGeneticist [PCG] 6132000 HOURS AGO opened memo on board YEAH THIS ISN'T IN THE LEAST BIT FUCKING PATHETIC.  
PCG: HEY ASSHOLE.  
PCG: COME ON, I KNOW YOU'RE THERE.  
PCG: I MEAN IT ISN'T LIKE EITHER OF US HAS ANYTHING BETTER TO DO.  
PCG: SERIOUSLY.  
PCG: NOT ONE. SINGLE. FUCKING. THING.

How long have you been here?

You are vaguely aware that this is not real, that the hazy impression you have of stacks of books and blinking banks of lights in the echoing shadows and ancient, dust-covered furniture is an illusion being summoned by your mind. And yet in this moment, you are not sure what reality would be without these faded ideas, small details thrown into sharp contrast while sweeping brush-strokes of conception fill in the gaps between them. It's like a play, where the actors all take the stage and act out their parts until you forget that the towering castle or the endless forest is just paint and paste and plyboard and the seat is hurting your ass...

There is something you should be doing. No, more than that: you can feel the urgency, the expectation. Your mind shifts and in an instant you are aware of just how long you have been waiting.

CURRENT carcinoGeneticist [CCG] RIGHT NOW responded to memo  
CCG: WELL IT'S ABOUT TIME.  
CCG: I'VE BEEN WAITING FOREVER FOR YOU TO SHOW UP, YOU INCONSIDERATE NOOKSTAIN.

It feels natural to talk this way, silent save for the tapping of your claws on the keys, watching the words appear on the gently glowing computer screen. The alphabet is so familiar to you that you almost think you hear the conversation aloud as you read it.

A flicker of confusion, a passing fragment of reality: you can barely read your own tongue. You don't know this language, these symbols. What is a computer? Then the dream reasserts itself and you are once again pulled under.

PCG: SO SORRY I MISSED OUR APPOINTMENT.  
PCG: OH, NO, WAIT, I DIDN'T.  
PCG: YOU KNEW EXACTLY WHEN I WAS GOING TO SHOW UP, FUCKASS.  
PCG: IF ANYTHING I'M THE ONE GETTING SCREWED OVER HERE.  
PCG: HERE I AM, GOING OUT OF MY GOGDAMNED MIND WITH BOREDOM, AND YOU CAN'T EVEN BE BOTHERED TO LOG ON EVEN A TINY BIT FASTER?

You fucking hate this asshole. You can feel it, old and worn inside your chest, tried and tested and familiar as your own face. You can't stand him, he's such a fucking annoyance, always makes you mad, always screws everything up and acts like a complete fucking bulgelicker about it...

… and there's an echo here, another voice just out of time and as grey as yours is red, saying the exact same thing about you. It's yours. They're both your voice.

Of course they are. After all, the asshole is you. Well, Past You. Fuck, you're glad you don't have to be him any more.

CCG: SHUT UP AND STOP BEING SUCH A FUCKING WIGGLER.  
CCG: I'VE BEEN HERE SEVEN CENTURIES LONGER THAN YOU AND YOU DON'T SEE ME BITCHING AND MOANING LIKE I'M SOLLUX FUCKING CAPTOR.

Sollux Captor is a name that brings to mind- not really a face, more an impression of another asshole, but one you care about. For an instant your mind is filled with blue and red, and then you're back in the dark, talking to Past You and just somehow knowing what you mean without ever having to really wonder why.

PCG: ...  
PCG: SHIT, IT REALLY IS SEVEN CENTURIES, ISN'T IT?  
PCG: YOU MEAN NONE OF THEM HAVE SHOWN UP YET?

You can remember it now. You've been here all that time. Longer. Here, in the dark and in the silence, waiting and waiting and so very afraid that nothing would ever change. It stretches out around you like the corridor between two mirrors, reflections of endless centuries spent in solitude because _none of those fuckers came back for you_.

Not that it's their fault. No, it's yours. And by you, you mean Past You. No reason why that nooksniffer should have to remain hopeful, seeing as how he got you into this mess. You spent this whole time knowing they weren't going to show up, so he can fucking well suck on it.

CCG: I HAVE BEEN ENTIRELY ALONE THIS WHOLE TIME.  
CCG: AT THIS POINT IF ONE OF THEM DOES DECIDE TO COME IN I AM CONSIDERING THROWING THEM RIGHT BACK OUT AGAIN.  
CCG: FUCK THEM AND FUCK THEIR STUPID RIVER OF SOULS.  
CCG: IF I HADN'T HAD THIS CONVERSATION I WOULD PROBABLY HAVE GONE INSANE.  
CCG: AGAIN.

You can feel the warm glow against your side, the light from the Door just in the edge of your vision, mocking you with what you can never have. Brief images flit through you, the shapes of times long past when you were not yourself, but were instead

_a farmhand forgotten, but later a soldier, who marched to war and blood and death but in the depths of that hell found love and kindness, and later returned to be a farmer again in a land that never seemed to have changed. You never forgot, but the horror faded with time and with the laughter of the children, and you hardly ever resented leaving behind your dreams of glory..._

_a storyteller exalted, dreaming from childhood of worlds beyond the mundane and adventures that spanned the stars. You were famed for miles around, and the peak of your fame came when the Queen herself travelled to your town to hear you weave a tale. You lived out the rest of your days at court, beloved by all, and told none of the vague sense of unease that plagued your sleep..._

_an oracle betrayed, first drawn to the priesthood by your visions and your cursed knowledge. You trusted them and they used you, paraded you to the crowds like a mascot, threw you trinkets to placate you like a pet. Then your prophecy and your power became inconvenient and there were daggers when you least expected them, a false martyr with your name and your face raised in your stead..._

_a heretic condemned, filled with senseless fury at an unknown betrayal even as you publicly decried the authority of the church and its corrupt excess. You knew you were special, knew that you were important, but you kept the secrets that were entrusted to you by the Great Powers, spitting in the faces of your foes even as the crowds jeered and the flames began to consume you..._

_a revolutionary ascendant, wily in your vengeance as your dreams guided you to gather support before striking. The world called you by one name but you knew another, and the true name you bore was one that could build worlds anew if only you tried. Half a continent was in flames by the time they captured you; as the axe fell to your neck, you stayed strong in the knowledge that there was nothing they could do to stop the plans that you had wrought..._

_a madman abandoned, your mind full of strange certainties that you foolishly shared and your body marked with the sign of an accursed God. Those who cared about you turned to healers who could have done nothing even if you had been broken; they took a mind that was whole, if filled with alien thoughts, and in trying to repair it they tore it asunder. Torture gave way to neglect, and by the time you starved you had no sane mind left to care..._

PCG: WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU ON ABOUT?  
PCG: THIS SEEMS LIKE A PRETTY NORMAL CONVERSATION SO FAR.  
PCG: YOU'RE AN ASSHOLE, I'M AN ASSHOLE, WE'RE BOTH BORED AND LONELY, AND OUR SUPPOSED FRIENDS ARE A BUNCH OF UNRELIABLE BULGEMUNCHING FUCKHOLES.  
PCG: WHAT ELSE IS NEW?

The others never remembered their lives. If they did, they would have come back long ago instead of continuing to ride the River, and you wouldn't be stuck talking to fucking Past You and redoing every stupid, inane thing you ever thought of to stave off boredom. You should have fucking had a better plan than this: agreed to do it in shifts or rotations, or at least come up with a definite number of goes round before you stopped and met up again. Maybe even done some more gogdamn test runs before committing to a plan that left the place completely fucking empty.

At least you can be sure that the tedium is nearly over.

CCG: CURRENTLY, NOTHING EVEN REMOTELY DIFFERENT HAS HAPPENED SINCE I WAS YOU, WHICH IS ABOUT AS FUCKING AWFUL AS YOU THINK IT IS.  
CCG: BUT IN A FEW MINUTES I'M GOING TO NOTICE SOMETHING OUT OF THE ORDINARY AND START TALKING IN PURE, UNADULTERATED CRYPTIC BULLSHIT.  
CCG: THEN WHILE YOU'RE STILL TRYING TO WORK OUT WHAT THE FUCK'S GOING ON, I'M GOING TO START PANICKING LIKE A HELPLESS GRUB AND LOG OFF.  
CCG: AND THEN YOU'LL NEVER HEAR FROM ME, OR ANY FUTURE VERSION OF ME, EVER AGAIN.

You can remember sharply and clearly how much it had pissed you off to get that message from Future You- not only being a cryptic know-it-all as usual, but actually letting you know _in fucking advance_ that he was going to do it! From this end, it just makes you feel relieved and a little smug. Finally you get to learn what all the gogdamn fuss was about, and Past You is just going to have to wait around like the bulgemunching little shit he is.

PCG: WAIT, WHAT?

Ha, ha, fuckass. Enjoy that confusion: it's not going anywhere in a hurry.

CCG: I FIGURE WHATEVER IT IS, IT HAS TO BE MORE FUCKING INTERESTING THAN THE LAST MILLENIUM.  
CCG: WHICH ISN'T REALLY SAYING MUCH, AS WATCHING A DEAD SHELLBEAST RUN TEN CONSECUTIVE MARATHONS WOULD BE MORE FUCKING INTERESTING THAN THE LAST MILLENIUM.

Even dying would be an improvement, really. You'd settle for dying. You've seen all nine of the afterlives this place has to offer, and okay some of them are fucking shitholes, real and actual fucking hells, but at least they're full of people. Real, honest-to-gog people you can interact with. Most of whom are clearly stupid, seeing as how they're dead, but still better than temporally dislocated versions of yourself.

PCG: I DON'T FUCKING BELIEVE THIS.  
PCG: YOU ARROGANT SHIT, I FUCKING HATE YOU.  
PCG: I MEAN, OBVIOUSLY I HATE YOU, YOU'RE FUTURE ME.  
PCG: BUT SINCE YOU ARE BY YOUR OWN ADMISSION THE MOST FUTURE ME THERE IS, I HEREBY DECLARE THAT I HATE YOU THE MOST.  
PCG: OF ALL THE DUMBFUCK, EMPTY-PANNED, SHIT-SPEWING VERSIONS OF ME TO EVER POLLUTE THE COURSE OF HISTORY ACROSS FIVE SEPERATE UNIVERSES AND COUNTLESS AEONS OF LIFE  
PCG: OF ALL THE SMUG, CONDESCENDING, BARELY LUCID PIECES OF VAPID EXCREMENT I HAVE EVER OR WILL EVER HAVE THE MISFORTUNE TO BE  
PCG: YOU ARE THE WORST.  
PCG: IT'S YOU. HAVE THE FUCKING PRIZE, JACKASS.

Normally you'd be frothing at the mouth over that, but now? You're so tense with waiting that you can almost taste what's going to happen. You can feel the pressure of it on the back of your neck and your digestive bladder is in knots, which are themselves full of fucking flutterbugs. For once in the entire history of the universe, you don't care at all about the shit you're giving yourself.

CCG: FEEL BETTER YET?

This universe is fucking stupid anyway. When it was first created, it spawned attendant planes of existence like that insufferable prick Dave Strider spawns obscene metaphors. Jade and Kanaya had provided some very long and complicated explanations which had made no fucking sense to anyone who wasn't an Asshole of Space, but personally you always thought it was because this universe was the result of four separate sessions of fucking about and sticking things where they didn't actually belong and generally breaking everything that could, in fact, be broken. Only made sense that the resultant reality would get the idea it was meant to fucking splinter off into dozens of weird extra dimensions and populate them with wannabe horrorterrors. Maybe a few actual horrorterrors, too- you still aren't sure those things didn't follow you here.

PCG: BETTER? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?  
PCG: HOW CAN YOU JUST SIT THERE AND JUST TELL ME THAT YOU'RE GOING TO VANISH  
PCG: AND I'M NOT EVEN GOING TO KNOW WHY  
PCG: AND THEN BE SO FUCKING HAPPY ABOUT IT!

Like he wouldn't have seven hundred years' worth of other versions of you to talk to. Grubfucking idiot.

CCG: I GUESS I'VE HAD A WHILE TO COME TO TERMS WITH IT.  
CCG: YOU SHOULD BE GLAD I'M GIVING YOU ALL THIS WARNING.

At least you weren't going to have to read all thousand books of Lalonde's shitty wizard fiction a third time. It had been pan-rottingly awful enough from page one.

PCG: YOU COMPLETE ASSHOLE.

When was Past You going to shut the fuck up and realise you were basically better than him in every conceivable way?

CCG: AT LEAST I'M NOT A WHINY LITTLE

An alarm goes off and you jump in your seat before you realise- it's just the alert you set up centuries ago to let you know when one of those other assholes dies. You used to get excited about that, before you realised they weren't going to leave the River at this station. Now it's just an occasionally annoying...

Wait, shit, did it just go off again?

PCG: WHINY LITTLE WHAT?  
PCG: WHAT?  
PCG: OH FUCK, IT'S HAPPENING, ISN'T IT?  
PCG: WHATEVER IT IS THAT MAKES YOU VANISH. IT'S STARTED.

You ignore your Past Self in favour of scrambling over to examine the alert, which is now showing three- no, four- of your comrades dead. John, Aradia, Kanaya, Jake.

Oh, look, there goes Roxy. What the fuck is going on down there?

CCG: YEAH...  
CCG: THIS IS WEIRD. NOT WHAT I EXPECTED.  
CCG: SHIT, THIS CAN'T BE GOOD...

Dirk and Dave go out at the same time. The alert is flipping its computerised shit and flying completely off the handle; those pirouettes are so fucking acrobatic that, in a different universe, they would be winning all of the gogdamn medals. Your world has narrowed to a blaring alarm and a growing list of familiar names. Jane. Jade. Gamzee.

PCG: WHAT? WHAT CAN'T BE GOOD?

They can't all fucking die at the same time, that's not even fucking possible. You watch as Rose falls, then Terezi, then finally Sollux. Figures that stubborn asshole would be the last to go.

CCG: ALL OF THEM AT ONCE. THAT CAN'T BE FUCKING COINCIDENCE.

Someone had to have planned this. Who fucking _could_ plan this? They don't even know who they are when they're down there- the only person who knows is you. Shit, did you do this? Is there some demented Future You out there doing this, and that's why you haven't been able to speak to anyone further forward than right now? No, wait, that makes no fucking sense, you're not a Time player, you can't do that bullshit no matter how shithive maggots you get.

PCG: WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?  
PCG: ARE THE OTHERS COMING BACK?

Why won't that asshole shut up? But he's right, they're all in the River right now, and if they've got any fucking sense at all they'll get their collective asses back in here to discuss this shit. That is, if they know what just happened. Shit. All of them at once, in a short space of time? Most of them probably don't have a fucking clue.

CCG: YES.  
CCG: NO.  
CCG: MAYBE.  
CCG: SHIT, WHAT WAS THAT!

You freeze as something in the distance recesses of the complex clatters. The world that had shrunk around you suddenly expands again, and you are uncomfortably aware of how large this place is. You rattle around in here like a frozen seedpod in an old pie tin, and you always hated it for being huge and empty and dead and constantly reminding you of how alone you were.

Now you're thinking that maybe you preferred being alone, because there is only one real fucking entrance and exit to this place, and _none of the others have come in through the Door._

PCG: WHAT WAS WHAT?

You listen, ears sensitive to any sound after a thousand years of near-silence. Something chill settles into your blood-pusher as you hear a soft rhythm in the distance, leather falling on metal.

CCG: I HEARD SOMETHING.

Footsteps.

PCG: SOMETHING? ARE YOU DELIBERATELY TRYING TO BE COMPLETELY FUCKING UNINFORMATIVE HERE?  
PCG: WHAT EXACTLY DID YOU HEAR?

You heard footsteps.

CCG: SHUT THE FUCK UP, I'M TRYING TO LISTEN.

Nobody should fucking be in here but you. You glance over at the alerts again, but the fuckers are still in the gogdamn River and they're not coming out, oh fuck, oh shit, you're on your own up here _except you're fucking not._

PCG: AND I'M TRYING TO FIND OUT WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON, YOU ASSMUNCH!

Run or fight? It's not the Noir demon, it's not Lord English, you know that, you _dealt_ with that shit, so in theory you should be able to take on anything that isn't one of the others and win. Of course, in theory something that isn't one of the others shouldn't _fucking be here_ , so maybe you shouldn't bet your life on that. Funny how now that you really do seem to be under threat you're suddenly all fucking concerned about survival.

CCG: WHAT'S GOING ON IS THAT SHIT JUST WENT CRAZY AND NOW I CAN HEAR...  
CCG: OH FUCK  
CCG: OH FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK

_That's not just one set of footsteps._

PCG: NO, DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE.  
PCG: YOU HEAR ME?  
PCG: DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT.

You can feel the malice pouring from the darkness, the raw hostile intent of the intruders. You haven't been this fucking scared as yourself since you were in the Game. Staying is not a fucking option here: whoever orchestrated this, they knew what they were doing, and they'll be ready for you. Hell, they killed the others off, which means they probably _want_ to have all of you here. Whoever they are, your sanctuary has become their trap for you.

There's only one way for you to really leave this place; the kind of physical manifestation that would let you walk the world as yourself would leave most of your power here, and you are pretty certain that whatever psychotic cult or demonic entity has invaded your sanctuary it would fucking _love_ to snack on your unguarded essence. You suppose it's a good thing that the others haven't come out of the Door yet, but that doesn't mean you won't want some extra insurance. You find the tools that the purple Lalonde left behind and gather your power with one eye over your shoulder.

If Eridan knew what you could do in this new universe, he would fucking _cry_. Magic is fakey bullshit your divine ass, and a good thing too. You don't have time to do much. Just enough to be sure that you can find them. Oh, fucking hell, you hope you can find them. You can't afford to lose this place; this has to be a strategic retreat, not a surrender, or the entirety of reality is completely, irrevocably, incomprehensibly fucked.

Despite the encroaching footsteps, you take a moment to remember Past You, and complete a stable time loop in accordance with the bullshit rules of Paradox space and the somewhat more predictable rules of any memo you ever fucking opened, anywhere, ever.

CCG: I HAVE TO GO.  
CCG: YOU'LL UNDERSTAND WHEN YOU'RE ME.  
CCG banned himself from responding to memo

Duty discharged, you turn back to the Door. It's ajar now, the light spilling out from behind it blindingly bright, and the rest of the world is unreal as it reverts to painted backdrop. It's just you and the shining portal, that last step your choice and not one you ever wanted to make again. You can feel the approaching footsteps as much as you can hear them, a deep pulse of terror that ticks away like a clock and counts down to some unknowable yet malign deadline. When the time runs out, you lose. You can hardly breathe so instead you step forward into the swirling evanescence of the River, knowing that it will make you nothing but an idea, an existence at its most basic level riding the current of a million mortal souls. As the world begins to dissolve, taking your body with it, you're not sure which thought terrifies you more.

Knowing that you're going to remember, or fearing that you're not going to remember enough.

PCG: FUCK.  
PCG: WELL, I GUESS THAT'S SEVEN HUNDRED YEARS OF SITTING AROUND WAITING USELESSLY FOR ME.  
PCG: FUCKASS.

PCG closed memo.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, disclosure time: the main inspiration behind this fic was my sudden and silly desire to try and stat out Homestuck characters in the Pathfinder RPG system (D&D based mechanics, system available for free perusal [here](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/), and in a more user-friendly but less complete fashion [here](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/).
> 
> Fear not! This won't be some sort of story where you have to understand the ins and outs of every little rule! In fact, it's my intention to keep the mechanics out of the story at every turn. The reason they're important, though, is because for this story I intend to take suggestions.
> 
> (By “I intend to take suggestions”, I of course mean that I'm too lazy to think of a real plot.)
> 
> So here's how it's gonna work: I've got two chapters to get the story set up and ready to roll, which I am posting now. All further plot developments will be decided on by scrolling through my comments and choosing the most popular/most interesting/most dramatically appropriate/only suggestion offered by you, the readers. You're Homestuck fans, you know how this bit works. All story chapters will be marked with the action arrow “==>”.
> 
> I also have a third “chapter”, which is the first of a set that will begin with “LEVEL”. These chapters will give a summarised version of the character sheets of each character as they progress. They aren't essential reading, but they do give an idea of the capabilities and equipment of each character. Note to all d20 competent readers: I made 14 first-level characters at once, so if you spot something that looks wrong let me know. It probably is.
> 
> That said, on with the actually interesting stuff, in the form of an intro chapter!


	2. ==> All: Provide Clear Summary Of Your Circumstances

## ==> All: Provide Clear Summary Of Your Circumstances

**== > Karkat: Summarise your life**

Your name is KARKAT VANTAS, it's the only name you've got, and your life is a STEAMING PILE OF SPIDER DROPPINGS which have been left to fester on an ALCHEMICAL DUNGHEAP for three weeks before being used by INSANE WIZARDS to create TOXIC NASAL WEAPONRY. Today you are going to attempt a course of action which will change this state of affairs, probably by getting you PUBLICLY AND DEGRADINGLY EXECUTED.

You have spent all twenty-three years of your life in GOLGESI, the largest and most magnificent of all cities ever built in a VAST UNDERGROUND CAVERN, which since you are a drow is the only way your people ever build cities at all. Its OBSIDIAN SPIRES feature in virtually all the SHITTY POETRY ever written by your people, and its bazaars and markets are the very foundation of your culture's MYSTIQUE AND LEGEND.

Naturally, you grew up and live in THE SHANTIES, a complete and utter shithole of MAKESHIFT SHACKS AND CRAPPY TENTS known for its population of vagabonds, whores, thieves, addicts and whatever other CASTELESS SCUM manage to eke out some mockery of existence between the midden heaps and the labyrinthine caves full of monsters. Your home, such as it is, is a SHITTY HOVEL that only has four walls because it was built leaning on another shitty hovel, and you still have to occasionally stab people to convince them that it's yours and they can't fucking have it. You used to share it with your MOTHER, but she died several years ago. Towards the end you were looking after her rather than the other way around, but you don't resent that. She was the one who kept you FED AND CLOTHED when you were too weak and dumbshit to look after yourself, and she even taught you reading and writing which around here is RARER THAN GOOD HYGENE.

Sometimes you use your AWESOME LITERACY SKILLS to earn money writing shit down for people, but mostly you just VIOLENTLY STEAL THINGS. The LAWKEEPERS will fucking dismember you if they catch you, but then most decent citizens would happily KICK YOU TO DEATH anyway for the crime of BREATHING WHILE CASTELESS. Your ability to record information for posterity is mostly used to write down your WEIRD TRANCE VISIONS in your CRAPPY JOURNAL. You personally think that your trance visions are just fucked-up beetleshit, but your mother always laughed when you said that and then wrote them down herself. Now she's gone you do it religiously. It's as close as you get to all that GODLY CRAP, unless you count the BIRTHMARK on the inside of your left wrist. It's in the shape of the symbol of the KNIGHT OF BLOOD, a heretical god who's only worshipped by MONSTERS, BARBARIANS and the sort of SECRETIVE CULTIST FUCKWITS who like to wear shitty robes to sacrifice virgins then have gory orgies over the remains.

It's not difficult to work out that you're casteless because of that fucking mark. What's harder to understand is why your mother, who was CLEARLY WELL EDUCATED and probably well-off, didn't just ditch you and forget the whole terrible embarrassment of having an accursed child. Probably because, for some unaccountable reason, she loved you and actually wanted you to survive. That would make her one of exactly two people who have EVER GIVEN A SHIT ABOUT YOU AT ALL.

The other person is your BEST AND ONLY FRIEND, and you are really more like BROTHERS than anything else. He is probably the only person you've ever met whose life is even more fucking terrible than yours, and in ten hours time it's going to take a hairpin bend for ABSOLUTE UNMITIGATED ATROCITY. Unless you do something first, of course, which brings us back to the monumentally stupid thing that you are planning to do today.

See, you and your brother have plenty in common. Both your lives suck a diseased cock, your other friends are conspicuously nonexistent, and oh, yeah, you are both indelibly marked with the symbol of a pagan god which has fucked up all your shit, ever. But whereas you are one of the thousands of FACELESS INHABITANTS of a foul-smelling and decrepit slum, he is... well, he...

Well, let's just say that the most powerful noble house in the city probably aren't going throw you a fucking hatchday party when you ABDUCT THEIR SON.

**== > Gamzee: Summarise your life**

Your name is GAMZEE MAKARA, family name GAMZEE KUTSANMIS, and your life is NOT YOURS.

You're probably twenty-three, and you hear that you live in a motherfucking miracle of a city called GOLGESI, but mostly you all up and live in the PESH-FUELLED HAZE that fills your head. Your chambers are being a RECEPTION ROOM, a RECIEVING CHAMBER, your PRIVATE QUARTERS, an EXTENSIVE WARDROBE and CHANGING ROOM, and a TRULY LAVISH BATHING ROOM. All of these are bitchtits luxurious and there ain't nothing you lack; you have a small army of SERVANTS AND SLAVES at your beck and call, and they will unquestioningly fetch you ANYTHING YOU DESIRE. Food, drink, toys, musicians, magicians, drugs, whores... you really can up and have anything, do anything, within these rooms.

What you cannot do, however, is LEAVE.

You know why. You'd know even if Mother hadn't all up and told you, back when you were YOUNG AND STUPID and wanted to GO OUT AND PLAY like what you'd heard kids do. You've got this MONSTER what LIVES INSIDE YOU; you see him sometimes, looking at you out of the mirror all behind your eyes, or in some trance vision where he's all up and killing the friends what you don't got. You know he's there and you're even all knowing of his name, because the motherfucker up and MARKED YOUR BICEP when he chose you, before you was even hatched.

He's the BARD OF RAGE, and he's the reason you've been all spending your life LOCKED ALONE IN A TOWER while your brothers and sisters become warriors and priestesses and wizards and proper motherfucking heirs. Laws of Blood Feud say you can't kill family, what with it being the worst motherfucking crime there is, but there ain't nothing to say that you can't take some CURSED SON what's no use to you and hide him away and give him all the EMPTIEST OF MIRACLES until he's being completely hollowed out and there ain't nothing left to him at all.

Things all up and started changing a little while back, though, because Mother somehow found a MOTHERFUCKING USE for you after all. Seems some minor noble house had themselves a CLEVER INVENTION what they weren't willing to trade without a MARRIAGE ALLIANCE. Don't want to waste some valuable scion wedding them so low, those motherfuckers are barely even the right motherfucking caste. Good for Mother that she had something else to offer; good for the bride-to-be that she cared more for the KUTSANMIS NAME and the promise of a young husband a FRACTION OF HER AGE with no will of his own than she did for any kind of PROPER MOTHERFUCKING DECENCY.

Good for you that you ain't been so isolated as they think, because you've got a brother who ain't yours by blood but what is going to motherfucking RESCUE YOUR ASS ANYWAY and get it up to the SURFACE WORLD. You've heard tell some WICKED STORIES about the world up above, saying as how it's all weaklings and cowards worshipping the GREAT AND TERRIBLE DEMONS what drove your people underground with BURNING LIGHT. But then the motherfuckers what tells those stories also tell the stories about how the Shanties ain't full of nothing but GARBAGE AND VERMIN, and you don't believe that none because the only two people ever cared about you for yourself came out of the Shanties, and if they was vermin or garbage then you don't even want to know what your Mother is when she's giving you that look like she's adding up how much coin you're worth.

She was giving you that look only a SHORT TIME AGO, when she came in here to be all up and telling you how the LADY YETENEKLI who's all thinking to marry you sent a message on how she's getting here EARLIER THAN PLANNED, and how you're going to be moving into your new chambers in the heart of the complex in two hours. You protested, said you were meant to have ten hours before you was moving, and she all up and got REAL MAD AT YOU and said you were gonna do what you was ordered to do, brat.

You got your ass COMPLETELY FUCKING HIGH after she left, but you're still shit-scared and all up and hoping that your brother gets here in the next hour because your time just RAN THE FUCK OUT if he don't.

**== > Terezi: Summarise your life**

Your name is TEREZI PYROPE, chosen name TEREZI SEERBORN, and your life is NEVER GOING TO BE DULL.

Twenty-three years ago you hatched with the mark of the SEER OF MIND on the back of your neck, and the minor noble house that spawned you went into COMPLETE UPROAR. The High Priestess herself was called in to verify your affiliation, and before the day was done the contract was drawn up and your allegiance transferred. Your birth family got RICHES AND INFLUENCE. You got to be a WARD OF THE TEMPLE.

There were always children in the NOVITIATE CLOISTER- fortunate orphans, poor cousins, the occasional scion of a truly pious house. You were always special, always the most important, and you freely admit that for a while there you were COMPLETELY SPOILED. You had the run not only of the temple grounds, but of the entire Inner Ring of Golgesi, and when even the most aged and venerable of the clergy bowed to you it was easy to think you were a GOD INCARNATE.

But then you began lessons with your sister temple and met someone else marked as you were, her belly coloured with the SIGIL OF THE SYLPH. Her gentle patience reigned you in even as her very existence took you down a much-needed peg or two. You knew her for only a few short years before her birth family made a DISASTEROUS POLITICAL MOVE. That was how you first learned that even in the HOLY ORDERS, even when everyone renews their Vows of Neutrality each season, FAMILY IS EVERYTHING. Suddenly even being CHOSEN OF THE GODS was not enough to protect her, and with no other choice left but betrayal you helped your friend flee.

After all, if your home is the temple, then the Seer is your kin and Justice your Ancestor, and your friend had done nothing to deserve the sentence that would have been handed down. You chose the name Seerborn as a warning to others, that you have but one creed, and that you will see miscreants punished whatever their CASTE AND STATUS. So far, they do not seem to have HEEDED YOUR MESSAGE.

These days, as a fully-fledged JUNIOR LAWKEEPER of the Judicial Branch, you get to do all sorts of INTERESTING MISSIONS. You worked out quickly that whether from jealousy or from some undisclosed blood feud, your mentor is TRYING TO GET YOU KILLED. At first she just sent you alone on DANGEROUS ASSIGNMENTS; tracking killers through the Shanties, exterminating wandering monsters that had gathered at the city's edge, apprehending illegal alchemists with labs full of caustic, acidic and toxic chemicals to throw. To her credit, she stopped when it became apparent that you weren't going to die so easily.

Now she mostly sends you on POLITICALLY DELICATE ASSIGNMENTS, especially ones with conflicting objectives. It's a better strategy but a riskier one, since if you annoy someone powerful enough she'll swing on the gallows right alongside you. You love the way she turns more furiously pale every single time you come back successful. Really, you don't think anyone else could have given you such a CHALLENGING AND REWARDING EDUCATION.

Your current assignment is a puzzle, though. Not because House Kutsanmis have requested a Lawkeeper presence to guard their son before his nuptials, nor because the TEMPLE OF THE SEER has so swiftly complied. The task is nothing unusual, not in the least bit complicated or difficult, and that worries you because it means your mentor is UP TO SOMETHING.

You've caught a glimpse of the scion. He's tall and gangly and if you're any judge at all so doped up on pesh that he wouldn't notice if you stabbed him through the gut. He's not going to cause trouble. The House Kutsanmis Guards are formidable enough that no outside force could disrupt the wedding. You suppose that having neutral parties on hand could prevent unpleasantness if the bride takes exception to the groom, but why would your mentor expect that?

ASSASSINATION is a possibility, though. If another Great House wants access to HOUSE YETENEKLI'S INVENTION, your mentor could be in the know. If you let the boy die on your watch then the KUTSANMIS MATRIARCH will certainly be out for blood.

You patrol the House Kutsanmis Compound on HIGH ALERT, looking forward to interrogating a suspect or two later, and vow that one of these days you're going to turn the tables on that MANIPULATIVE BITCH of a mentor and every backstabbing BETRAYER OF JUSTICE like her.

**== > Kanaya: Summarise your life**

Your name is KANAYA MARYAM, chosen name KANAYA GODSCHILD, and your life is quite simply AN ADVENTURE, whether you WANT IT TO BE OR NOT.

At twenty-three years of age, you are a POLITICAL EXILE from your homeland, your primary source of income is taking freelance commission work in dangerous terrain, you lack any form of PERMANANT ABODE unless you count the guest rooms of the Waypoint Inn, and you think you may be having a CRISIS OF FAITH- which, considering you have the MARK OF A GOD on your skin and can call on divine powers is probably quite ridiculous, verging on the hysterical.

Currently you are somewhere in the GREENWEALD FOREST, two weeks travel from the city of PORTHAVEN, and you are theoretically supposed to be MAPPING THE REGION. You would feel more confident about the success of this mission if more than one of your group knew how to draw maps. Your comrades are, as usual, SOLLUX TWINBLOOD and ARADIA DREAMWALKER. They are not the first people you met when you emerged to the surface world, although your ORIGINAL BENEFACTORS also hail from Porthaven. You remain grateful for the influence and assistance of the sisters who found you, without which you would most likely have been EATEN BY WILD BEASTS long before you found any sign of civilisation. The two aasimars do have a keen interest in your small fellowship, however, as the five of you have in common the GODMARKS that display the favour of a divine entity- the only uncertainty being which god or goddess acts as your patron.

For Sollux there is no question; he bears the MARK OF DOOM, and thus his connection to the feared and fearsome Mage God is as undeniable as it is wisely hidden. For yourself and Aradia, bearing the marks of SPACE AND TIME, there are two deities under whose watchful eye you might fall. You had once assumed that you were a ward of the Sylph, but in these strange and sunlit lands it is only by claiming kinship to the Witch that you have found welcome. The question of whether her guardian is Knight or Maid bothers Aradia far less; she never trained as a priestess and the power that she wields is arcane in nature, not divine.

Truth be told you often wonder about the history of your two sorcerous compatriots, with their wandering ways and their ESOTERIC HERITAGE. Aradia is a tiefling, a race whose grey skin and infernal horns are rarely seen and oft feared in these lands; Sollux fares even worse, his body a strange blend of tiefling features and the dark elven nature of your own drow race. Perhaps it is only the fact that neither of them can truly fit in anywhere in this sunwalker's world that makes them as CLOSE AS SIBLINGS, but from fragments of conversation and overheard whispers you suspect something more. You are only a RECENT COMPANION in the journey they take together- although from what you hear, you have already stayed with them far longer than anyone else they have worked with. You can see why a different person might find them extremely trying, but you find their company to be refreshing after so much time spent dealing with people who persist in believing you to be a monster. Perhaps that is the true reason why you all continue to accept tasks you are ill-suited to perform in the heart of a DANGEROUS WILDERNESS.

At any rate, you have all come to rely on one another implicitly. When you can, you do your work by night; the light of the six moons is easier on you and Sollux, and Aradia cares little either way. She is the one who leads the way as you move, and the one who knows how to KEEP YOU ALIVE AND WELL even when your rations run short. You suspect that Sollux would have perished long ago if he were alone- you have lost count of the number of times he has WALKED INTO TREE BRANCHES or startled DANGEROUS WILD ANIMALS, and that is just since you have known him. Yet while he does cause trouble, you cannot deny that his magical abilities are considerably better suited for USE IN COMBAT than Aradia's or your own. For your part, you provide PROTECTION AND HEALING, a service that the two of them are in dire need of. You have also taken up the task of ensuring that their clothes are in a STATE OF GOOD REPAIR and at the very least colour co-ordinated.

Sometimes when you make camp at dawn, and it is just the three of you alone around a crackling fire, with Sollux COMPLAINING ABOUT THE DAMP while he tries to read and Aradia enthusing about whatever ANCIENT TRINKET you found most recently, while you make patches and repairs to clothes that have seen BRUTALLY HARD USE... on those days, it feels more like home to you here than ever the Temple of the Sylph did.

**== > Rose: Summarise your life**

Your name is ROSE LALONDE, called ROSE THE ORACLE, and your life is overshadowed by the threat of IMMANENT ARMAGEDDON that goes UNHEARD BY THE MIGHTY as they struggle for SCRAPS OF POWER within the hallowed halls of the MIGHTY TEMPLES OF PORTHAVEN.

You are now twenty-three, which as an aasimar makes you slightly more emotionally mature than an elf of equivalent age, and for the past nine years you have been the official ORACLE OF THE SEER and the figurehead of the CHURCH OF LIGHT. Leader in name only, for the HIGH PRIEST is many years your senior and has the political support that you lack. He is the one who chooses time and again to disregard your visions, insisting that to make public APOCALYPTIC PROPHECIES of worldwide devastation would cause only panic and despair. You suspect that he lacks the courage to face the oncoming cataclysm, and you can no longer afford to be subject to his foolish prevarications. Your latest meditations in the Chamber of Smoke have shown you a vision of the world DEVOID OF LIFE, the sun blotted out by DUST AND SHADOW. The last survivors fell before a countless army of the UNHOLY RISEN, undying corpses that shambled and slaughtered under the leadership of pale-faced monsters that hungered for blood.

Your visions have never reached more than ONE YEAR AHEAD. The time for fearful denials is at an end: you must act now or the world is FATED FOR DESTRUCTION. If you had your way, you would rouse the Templars and call upon the holiest of Clerics to aid you. Unfortunately, you do not believe that course will be possible. You are a DEDICATED STUDENT and although it would most likely horrify your tutors you have spent many hours poring over FORBIDDEN TEXTS and SECRET HISTORIES, your interest piqued ever since you met the strange drow girl who bore a Godmark so like and unlike your own. You know that the fall and eventual demonisation of the CHURCH OF BLOOD began with the suspicious martyrdom of the God's chosen Oracle. You would like to think that the HIGH PRIEST OF LIGHT would not do something so heinous, but you know that frightened fools rarely have such sane boundaries.

Your NOCTURNAL FRIENDS are currently out of town, but fortunately your other resources are not limited to your Temple contacts and your loving but pious parents. For while you were marked with the SIGN OF LIGHT on your shoulder, your twin sister was born with the SIGN OF VOID on her ankle, and although she did not receive the same divine gifts as you she has more than compensated for their lack. Followers of the Rogue are known for being UNPREDICTABLE, UNTAMEABLE, and disinclined to SUBMIT TO AUTHORITY. Normally Roxy's adherence to this stereotype infuriates you, especially as despite all your prowess in reading others you still cannot tell whether she is actually like that or merely attempting to provoke a reaction. Currently, however, you are glad that she has avenues of recourse that you lack.

Although your sister lives in her own suite next to yours in the CENTRAL TEMPLE COMPLEX, her life is very different to your own. While you were confirmed as the Oracle at the age of fourteen, she entered an apprenticeship with a man you suspect to be a follower of the Rogue. Certainly the theories of arcane magic she has learned from him favour DECEPTION AND ILLUSION, and she is as wily as the cat-shaped familiar she keeps and which you are not in the least bit fond of. You most assuredly do not keep a SMALL DISH OF TUNA and a DECANTER OF CREAM in your rooms, just in case the curiously named Frigglish drops by. That would be RIDICULOUSLY FRIVOLOUS of you and you would never even consider it.

That cream is for you, and you happen to QUITE LIKE FISH. And if you had a cat-shaped familiar, you would call him by a sensible name, such as JASPERS.

The feline nature of your sister's arcane assistant aside, you are currently most concerned that she may have managed to FALL ASLEEP DRUNK instead of getting in touch with her less than savoury associates. The same routes and connections that allow her to STOCK UP ON CONTRABAND BOOZE can hopefully arrange smuggling the pair of you out of the city. You have rarely had cause before to regret that your luxuriously appointed and closely guarded lifestyle is akin to that of a prisoner; that is merely the lot of an EXALTED SPIRITUAL LEADER, and you have learned to do a lot with a little freedom. Yet if you are to begin your quest to SAVE THE WORLD, you will have to execute an escape, and that is Roxy's purview rather than your own.

Perhaps you are being too harsh on your sister: for all that she is capable of aggravating you to the point of VIRTUAL INCOHERENCE, her rapid progress in the study of the arcane arts shows that she is no fool. Of all the people in your life, she was the only one outside the priesthood you dared tell of your visions, and she was the only one who took them seriously. On the other hand, this means that in what is supposedly your spiritual stronghold your only ally is a PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE DRUNK with a penchant for DECEPTION and the ability to TRY THE PATIENCE OF A SAINT.

You do not wish to sound alarmist, but the world may very well be UTTERLY DOOMED.

**== > Dirk: Summarise your life**

Your name is DIRK STRIDER, called DIRK SILVERTONGUE, and your life is a NON-STOP SHELL GAME where the pea of SINCERITY may at any time be under any of the shells of DECEPTION, STOIC BADASSITUDE, AND IRONY. Or not, because you actually know HOW SHELL GAMES WORK.

You are twenty-three years old and currently staying just outside the City of Porthaven with your bro and the rest of your PHOOKA CLAN. Most people who find out about your family express their surprise and sympathy that two nice young aasimar boys like you are living with those UNTRUSTWORTHY WILD ELF VAGABONDS. You usually nod and say oh yeah, it's such a hard life, and shake their hands while your brother PICKS THEIR POCKETS CLEAN. You don't know who your real parents were, or why they dumped you both in the middle of the forest, but the Phooka have a saying; FAMILY IS WHERE YOU FIND IT. Literally, in most cases. There's a reason the city-dwellers lock up their eggs when the Clans come to town.

So you and Dave got raised by THIEVES AND SCALLYWAGS, and your teachers were TRICKSTERS AND ENTERTAINERS, and you learned to watch each other's backs and be smarter and faster than your average mark on the street. Life's pretty good, and it sure as the hells could've been worse. You earn some pretty good money showing off your completely fucking top-grade skills, and Dave brings the cash count up by taking a toll from the fatter purses of your ADORING AUDIENCE. He treats it like a COMPETITION to see who can make the most, but you figure that you're both better off together so it doesn't really matter who's winning. You still beat him regularly because he seems to NEED THE CHALLENGE.

Not that this game of yours is just about money; no, you try to outdo each other in EVERY CONCEIVABLE FASHION. Dave even wears a fucking BANDIT COSTUME when he's robbing the chumps of their change. If you weren't wearing a GAUDY MASQUERADE MASK to cover your face, you might find it obscenely difficult to hide how hilarious you find that. Some days he even joins you at the end of your act and you do a little skit where you play the BIG DAMN HERO and SLAY THE BANDIT KING. The crowd loves every second, and you are both the winners in the game of life.

Yeah, the pair of you are pretty much the WORLD'S COCKIEST ASSHOLES, but tempting fate is addictive and addiction is a powerful thing. Besides, you've got insurance; everywhere you go you take care to do favours for friends, and by now you've got enough GET OUT OF JAIL FREE markers stored up with influential people to last a lifetime. There's a reason they call you SILVERTONGUE.

Dave has friends in the city too, and although none of them are as highly placed as yours there's nothing wrong with his judgement. Besides, you can't just base a friendship on FAVOURS OWED. You wouldn't put yourself through half as much projectile crap as you do for your tipsy sister up in the Temple if you didn't genuinely like her CRAZY DRUNKEN ASS. Her latest request is STRANGE AND DANGEROUS, and it'll pretty much blow her out of the water as an avenue of recourse- but she's helped you out plenty in the past, and what the fuck. It sounds like it'll be a BARREL OF LAUGHS.

In the meantime, you're just going to stand in the middle of this street and wait for people to THROW MONEY AT YOU. All you have to do is your usual gig, and keep an eye open to see if anyone's about to catch Dave out. You put on your best fake bullshit smirk and begin to draw in the crowd with a bit of THEATRICALLY EXAGGERATED SETUP.

Another day, another game: round and round the shell game goes, but where the pea stops no-one knows...

**== > John: Summarise your life**

Your name is JOHN EGBERT, called JOHN WARDEN, and your life is FULL OF EXCITEMENT. You're usually looking forward to something anyway, but in the next month you're going to have two of the MOST IMPORTANT DAYS OF YOUR LIFE and it's pretty hard to stay calm with all that's going on!

Firstly, in about a week's time, you and your sister JANE are going to finish your training and be sworn in as full members of the PORTHAVEN WATCH. She's going to be an INVESTIGATOR, but you decided that you'd rather be a TOWN GUARD. You just really like patrolling the streets and HELPING THE CITIZENS, and that's okay because Jane loves to SOLVE MYSTERIES and you know you'd only get in her way if you tried to help. You've both spent a really long time working hard to get to this point and your parents are very proud of you. They run the WAYPOINT INN out on the edge of town, so you and Jane have been talking to all sorts of people since before you can even remember. Just take your friend DAVE GHOSTSTEP, for example- you're pretty much the only member of the Guard the Phooka Clans trust in their camp, and you're not even sworn in yet!

The other thing is due to happen at the end of the season, in a month's time, and it is even more important than finishing your training. See, when you were hatched twenty-three years ago in the town of Daleford, you had two sisters and a brother. Then the ORC RAIDS had happened and your parents had to flee alongside their neighbours, escaping from the RAZING OF THEIR HOME with the four of you by means of what should have been a safe road through the forest.

The road hadn't been safe. The TERRIFIED REFUGEES had managed to fight off the bandit attack, but afterwards your infant brother and one of your sisters were NOWHERE TO BE FOUND. Your parents had brought you and Jane safely to Porthaven and rebuilt their lives, but for years they were saddened by the loss and you wondered why you only had one sibling when all your other elf friends had at least two. Then one day when you were six a STRANGE WILD WOMAN, a real live wood elf, had arrived at your inn with a huge grey wolf. She told your parents that she was a DRUID, one of the GUARDIANS OF THE GREENWEALD, and that six years ago she and a band of her companions had rescued two infant children from the hands of routed brigands as they travelled to Daleford to reclaim it from the orcs. With no way to track their parents or even any guarantee they lived, one of her comrades had taken the boy to raise as a son; she had taken the girl as her ward and apprentice. She had come, she said, because the SPIRITS OF THE FOREST had whispered your names to her child.

Since then you have been in regular correspondence with both of your ESTRANGED SIBLINGS, and although their letters are sometimes kind of confusing they sound like they have INCREDIBLE LIVES. Because they live far away and the roads are still really dangerous they've never come to visit before, but this spring your sister finished her Druidic training so now she can guide them both to Porthaven and you can have an AWESOME FAMILY REUNION! This is basically the best thing ever.

In the meantime, though, you have plenty of work to do. There's always a jump in crime when the Clans come to town- and it's not the Phooka, or not just them anyway. People think they can get away with things when there's someone else to blame it on, but in the end it's the ordinary people who get hurt when their shops get burgled or their life savings are stolen. You and Jane know how hard people work in this city and you're not going to stand by while they get their LIVELIHOODS DESTROYED! Although you do try to be understanding when the thief is poor or having real difficulties at home, because you know that sometimes life doesn't go how you plan.

Fortunately, although you're not very religious, you and Jane managed to get some meetings up in the Temple, and you've been pushing to get more CHARITABLE FUNDS to set up a sort of free inn for people who are having trouble affording food. Your parents have already said they could help out with setting it up, and you think it's a really good idea! The Oracle and her sister are pretty nice and want to help, even if they are confusing to talk to. You and Jane agreed not to tell them about your WEIRD BIRTHMARKS, because religious people get excited about those and they're only a stupid thing that look like Divine Sigils by accident.

It's like your Dad always says: you try to leave the world a better place than you found it, and you treat people with respect whoever they are. Also he says that EVERYTHING'S BETTER WITH CAKE, but you think that one is totally stupid because cake is GROSS AND DISGUSTING. But the other stuff he's right about and you've always acted that way.

You wonder if, when you meet them in person, your brother and sister will also agree.

**== > Jade: Summarise your life**

Your name is JADE HARLEY, called JADE OF THE GREENWEALD, and your life is FULL OF THINGS TO DO. Its okay though, because you LOVE YOUR JOB, and when things get difficulty you'll always have BEC to HELP YOU.

You're a DRUID OF THE GREENWEALD, which means it's your responsibility to maintain the BALANCE OF NATURE and HELP AND PROTECT TRAVELLERS within the bounds of the forest. Currently you're headed towards the DRAGONSHARD MOUNTAINS to meet one such traveller and make sure he journeys safely to his destination, which also happens to be your destination. This is because he is your brother, and you are finally both going to meet your family. It's a long journey on foot to Porthaven, but at twenty-three you're a grown woman and you can definitely make one trip through your own forest! Besides, you've been in contact with your soon-to-be companion, and you know that he can take care of himself in a pinch as well as you can.

By now, you know the Greenweald like an old friend. Ever since GUARDIAN WOLFSISTER took you in as a hatchling you've been training for this. She told you that the day you were chosen by her companion Fleetwind's pup was the proudest of her life, even if you did give the wolf a funny name. You don't even remember why you chose it, but BECQUEREL you called him and Becquerel your companion remains. He's the most LOYAL AND HELPFUL companion ever and you look out for each other because that's what best friends do.

You've heard from your SIBLINGS IN THE CITY that most children get looked after by their parents all the time. You think that sounds strange and kind of restrictive. From the time you were old enough to crawl you had the freedom of the WHISPERING GROVE, and Guardian Wolfsister had always been willing to leave you with Fleetwind. Once you had Bec she would leave you alone with the pack for hours at a time. When you learned who your parents were, she left you with enough food for the entire month and cast a spell to keep you in the Grove. You stayed with the wolves and didn't see her for weeks and weeks but you were TOTALLY FINE and she came back with a LETTER FROM YOUR KIN and a warm hug. You never doubted that she loved you, just as you never doubted that she would come back home. Even now she sends you messages as you travel, written on dried bark and delivered by hawks and falcons.

You're glad to hear from her, too, because the forest is a big place and it can be pretty dangerous. The Whispering Grove where you were raised is kept safe and pure by Druidic Magics, but you have had to learn to sense the places where DARK ENERGIES gather so you can avoid them and their histories of SLAUGHTER AND PLAGUE. There are old secrets buried under the soil, ANCIENT CURSES and FORGOTTEN HISTORIES. And then there are the more mundane dangers, like BANDITS and STORMS and RABID BEASTS and the occasional WANDERING MONSTER that has emerged from the deep caverns under the Dragonshard Range. Of course, there are good things too. You love it when you stumble across some GNOMISH GLADE or other beautiful hidden corner of the world where peaceful magic pours from every crevice, and you once spent half a day watching a mother bear play with her cubs. Sometimes you'll meet Traders or Phooka Clans on the roads, and they're usually as glad of the company as you are when you escort them safely to the nearest town.

Yup, you've got plenty to get done, alright. It's sad that your original parents lost you so young, but you're glad they did. If they hadn't, then Guardian Wolfsister would never have found you, and you wouldn't be who you are. And you really, really like being yourself, even when the forest is dark and the roads are scary. You wouldn't trade it for an entire dragon's hoard, and that's as CERTAIN AS SUMMER!

**== > Jake: Summarise your life**

Your name is JAKE ENGLISH, going by JAKE QUARTZKIN, and your life is about to DRAMATICALLY CHANGE. It's a JOLLY STRANGE AFFAIR, all told, but dash it all if you aren't LOOKING FORWARD TO THE ESCAPADE.

You've always known that you weren't native to these parts. You would have had to have been bally blind to miss it, seeing as how you're an elf in the middle of a DWARF HOLD. Your parents were always jolly honest with you about the whole thing, about how your father had found you as a little tiddler in the hands of ILL-INTENTIONED MISCREANTS and how he'd brought you home with him because it was the only decent thing a chap could do, under the circumstances. They and their other children never treated you as anything other than one of the family, but you really do wish the rest of your clan-brothers could have been such good sports about the whole business. On the bright side, you do become jolly HANDY IN A SCRAP when you live in a mountain stronghold full of STURDY FELLOWS who want to give you a fine seeing-to on a regular basis. You're rightfully proud of the fact that you don't need your kinsmen to lend a helping hand when trouble comes a-calling; no, you're a STRAPPING YOUNG LAD in your own right, and you know how to DELIVER A THRASHING when you have to!

You have a right old laugh whenever your father's DRUID FRIEND comes to visit, because she's an elf like you and good in a scrum to boot. Those bullies don't dare go near her, no sirree, and she brings you news about your brother and sisters which is never an unwelcome occurrence. Still, it's a tad difficult to read about all the interesting things they get up to day by day, when you're mostly stuck in the house avoiding a RIGHT ROYAL DRUBBING. You do your best to reciprocate in kind, but you are rather afraid that they find your accounts of your parents' work DREADFULLY DULL.

Your father is a STORYTELLER these days, although in his younger years he had more than a few hair-raising adventures out in the world. You love to hear his stories, both the OLD SAGAS and the somewhat EMBELLISHED ANECDOTES. You're not even sure when you made the decision that you wanted to have adventures of your own one day, but really, it is the done thing when you're a MISFIT FOUNDLING with a MYSTERIOUS BIRTHMARK. You're quite certain of it.

Fortunately for your ambitions, your mother is a MASTER GUNSMITH, and she's taught you a little of her trade. Guns are a dashed nifty invention of the Quartzkin Clan, and they happen to be your very favourite weapon. You're a CRACK SHOT with a pistol, and you know how to make your own ammunition which should be extremely useful when you get out on the road. You think it would be completely badass to wield a pistol in each hand, but you have yet to work out HOW THE DICKENS you would reload so you stick with just the one. Besides, guns are TERRIBLY VALUABLE, especially with all the Drow blighters popping up right under your bloody doorstep these days, and you are lucky your parents agreed to let you have your father's old sidearm. You don't think you could persuade them to give you another.

Any day now you're expecting your sister to arrive at the Clanhold. She'll be seeing to it that the pair of you get through the forest to Porthaven, although of course you plan to offer assistance wherever you can. You've not much experience as a woodsman, but you wouldn't want her to think you're CHURLISH. It's a little nerve-wracking to tell the truth; you may have been PEN-PALS for most of your lives, and of course you've met the woman who raised her, but now that she's nearly here you're quaking in your boots. You have packed and repacked your bag every evening and you think your kinsmen are growing a little exhausted with your ENDLESS FRETTING. It's got to the point where you're taking a RELAXING STROLL every evening in the outer caverns of the Clanhold, deep inside the mountain where you can't keep checking to see if she's arriving yet.

At least you'll have gotten it all out of your system before you get to your other siblings in Porthaven, or so you hope. It would be just your BOTHERSOME LUCK if you got AMBUSHED BY DROW or some such nonsense before your sister can even arrive!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So there you have it! From this point onwards, I'll be writing chapters in prose style, second person/present tense (like the first chapter)- and the plot will be based on reader suggestions. In the absence of reader suggestions, I'll probably get lazy and play the Sims instead.
> 
> The chapter after this one is the stat summary; I have done my best to make it understandable, and if I can get it to work there will be little Homestuck-style pictures! Yay!


	3. -- LEVEL ONE --

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Right, brief notes for the d20 system (Pathfinder/D&D): I've done my best to remove most of the really technical language from the sheets below, but there are some things that are just going to be numbers. Here's a brief guide.
> 
> A number in the format “XdY” means “roll X number of Y-sided dice and add all the numbers together for the result”. This is the usual format of damage. Bigger Y means greater potential for high numbers: bigger X means greater consistency of mid-to-high results.
> 
> A number in the format “+X” is meant to be added to a roll of 1d20. This is the usual format of skills and “saving throws”- ie, how resistant you are to things like being sick (Fortitude), being mind controlled (Will), or being hit by big fireballs (Reflex).
> 
> A number in the format “X” is a target number to be equalled or beaten on a 1d20 roll. The two most common examples are Armour Class (AC), which determines how difficult a character is to hit, and Difficulty Class (DC), which refers to the difficulty of a skill check or saving throw.
> 
> A number in the format “X/Y” is a pool of Y points, currently with X points in it. Most important example being Hit Points, which is how much damage the character can take before you fall over unconscious or dead.
> 
> Most things are either self-explanatory, come with explanations, or aren't that important. The main exception being the Attributes. Strength (STR) is obvious; Dexterity (DEX) is to do with reflexes, agility and general physical quickness; Constitution (CON) is health, well-being and toughness; Intelligence (INT) is the character's raw brainpower and how skillful they are; Wisdom (WIS) is mental resilience, perception and common sense; and Charisma (CHA) is force of personality and strength of identity.
> 
> Any other questions just ask!

JOHN EGBERT [FIGHTER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/fighter.html#_fighter) ([TWO-HANDED FIGHTER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/fighter.html#_two-handed-fighter)) 1  
NEUTRAL GOOD

TL:DR - A front-line warrior with a penchant for hitting people very, very hard with hammers.

[ ](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/ipq3az9rilk4m0d/John%20Egbert.png?dl=0)

BASIC STATISTICS  
GENDER: Male  
HAIR/EYES: Black hair, blue eyes  
HOMELAND: City of Porthaven (Outer Ring)  
DEITY: The Heir of Breath  
LANGUAGES: Common, High Elven  
RACE: Tuatha (High Elf)

ATTRIBUTES  
STRENGTH: 15[+2]  
DEXTERITY: 12[+1]  
CONSTITUTION: 12[+1]  
INTELLIGENCE: 10[+0]  
WISDOM: 12[+1]  
CHARISMA: 13[+1]

HIT POINTS: 11/11  
HERO POINTS: 2/5  
INITIATIVE: +1  
BASE SPEED/S: 30ft (land)

ARMOUR CLASS [AC]: 14  
TOUCH AC: 11  
FLAT-FOOTED AC: 13

BASE ATTACK BONUS [BAB]: +1  
BASIC MELEE ATTACK: +3  
BASIC RANGED ATTACK: +2  
COMBAT MANEUVER BONUS [CMB]: +3  
COMBAT MANEUVER DEFENCE [CMD]: 14

SAVES  
FORTITUDE: +4  
REFLEX: +2  
WILL: +2

[WEAPONS/ATTACKS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_weapon-descriptions)  
[WARHAMMER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_warhammer) \- Wielded two-handed for greater damage, and with the option of Power Attack for greater damage with lower accuracy.  
[DAGGER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_dagger) \- Can be thrown, range 10ft.

EQUIPMENT - [CARRYING CAPACITY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/additionalRules.html#_carrying-capacity) (STR 16)

EQUIPMENT - ITEM SLOTS  
CLOTHING: ARTISAN'S OUTFIT  
This outfit consists of a shirt with buttons, drawstring pants, shoes, and a slightly battered hat. It also includes a belt for carrying small items such as a money pouch.

ARMOUR: PORTHAVEN PARADE ARMOUR  
+3 armour bonus, +5 max DEX bonus, -1 Armour Check Penalty, 15% Arcane Spell Failure Chance, LIGHT  
SPECIAL: A character wearing a country's parade armour gains a +2 Circumstance bonus to Diplomacy and Intimidate checks to influence a person from that country.

EQUIPMENT - POSSESSIONS  
Warhammer 5lbs, Parade Armour 20lbs, Dagger 1lb, Waterskin 4lbs

>BACKPACK, MASTERWORK 4lbs (Capacity 60lbs, +1 STR to carry loads)  
Tent (Medium, 2 people) 30lbs, Bedroll 5lbs

>POUCH, BELT 0.5lbs (Capacity 10lbs)  
Flint and Steel

TOTAL 69.5lbs (30.5lbs without backpack)

EQUIPMENT - MONEY  
0CP, 9SP, 62GP, 0PP  
OTHER:

SKILLS  
TRAINED  
BLUFF +2(1), +KNOWLEDGE(DUNGEONEERING) +4(1), +PROFESSION(PORTHAVEN GUARD) +5(1)

UNTRAINED  
ACROBATICS +1*, APPRAISE +0, +CLIMB +2*, +CRAFT +0, DIPLOMACY +1, DISGUISE +1, ESCAPE ARTIST +1*, HEAL +1, +INTIMIDATE +1, PERCEPTION +3, PERFORM +1, +RIDE +1*, SENSE MOTIVE +1, STEALTH +1*, +SURVIVAL +1, +SWIM +2*  
(FLY +1*)

*Armour Check Penalty: Skill at –1 due to armour worn.  
+Class Skill

FEATS  
[POWER ATTACK [REQUIRES: STR 13, BAB+1]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_power-attack)  
The character can make exceptionally deadly melee attacks by sacrificing accuracy for strength.

[RACIAL ABILITIES: ELVEN](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advancedRaceGuide/coreRaces/elves.html#_elf-racial-traits)  
LANGUAGES - Tuatha begin play speaking Common and High Elven. Tuatha with high Intelligence scores can choose from the following: Celestial, Draconic, Gnoll, Gnome, Goblin, Orc, and Sylvan.

SPECIAL ABILITIES  
GODMARKED  
LEVEL 1:  
[HERO’S FORTUNE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/advancedNewRules.html#_hero's-fortune) \- Even at the start of his career, it was clear that the character had a chance at greatness, and his legend continues to grow with every adventure.  
[DEFLECTION AURA](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/cleric.html#_deflection-aura) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) - The character can emit an aura that makes nearby allies harder to hit for a short time dependent on his character level.  
EXTRA - The character receives a +1 resistance bonus on saving throws. This bonus increases by +1 for every 5 levels he possesses.

CLASS FEATURES  
WEAPON AND ARMOUR PROFICIENCY: FIGHTER  
A fighter is proficient with all simple and martial weapons and with all armour (heavy, light, and medium) and shields (including tower shields).

FEAT: [CLEAVE [REQUIRES: POWER ATTACK]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_cleave)  
The fighter can strike two adjacent foes with a single swing.

* * *

ROSE LALONDE [ORACLE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/baseClasses/oracle.html) \- [DARK TAPESTRY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spellcastingClassOptions/oracle.html#_dark-tapestry) ([SEER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spellcastingClassOptions/oracle.html#_seer_\(archetype\))) 1  
TRUE NEUTRAL

TL:DR - A divinely powered spellcaster who can heal injuries, inflict damage, and see a little of the future.

[ ](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/5qdqzqpfbw3bepw/Rose%20Lalonde.png?dl=0)

BASIC STATISTICS  
GENDER: Female  
HAIR/EYES: Blonde hair, purple eyes  
HOMELAND: City of Porthaven (Temple District)  
DEITY: The Seer of Light  
LANGUAGES: Common, Celestial, Abyssal, Draconic, Sylvan  
RACE: Aasimar

ATTRIBUTES  
STRENGTH: 8[-1]  
DEXTERITY: 12[+1]  
CONSTITUTION: 10[+0]  
INTELLIGENCE: 14[+2]  
WISDOM: 15[+2]  
CHARISMA: 17[+3]

HIT POINTS: 8/8  
HERO POINTS: 2/5  
INITIATIVE: +1  
BASE SPEED/S: 30ft (land)

ARMOUR CLASS [AC]: 13  
TOUCH AC: 11  
FLAT-FOOTED AC: 12

BASE ATTACK BONUS [BAB]: +0  
BASIC MELEE ATTACK: -1  
BASIC RANGED ATTACK: +1  
COMBAT MANEUVER BONUS [CMB]: -1  
COMBAT MANEUVER DEFENCE [CMD]: 10

SAVES  
FORTITUDE: +0  
REFLEX: +1  
WILL: +4

[WEAPONS/ATTACKS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_weapon-descriptions)  
[DAGGER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_dagger) \- Can be thrown, range 10ft.

EQUIPMENT - [CARRYING CAPACITY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/additionalRules.html#_carrying-capacity) (STR 8)

EQUIPMENT - ITEM SLOTS  
CLOTHING: SCHOLAR'S OUTFIT  
Perfect for a scholar, this outfit includes a robe, a belt, a cap, soft shoes and a cloak.

ARMOUR: LEATHER ARMOUR  
+2 armour bonus, +6 max DEX bonus, -0 Armour Check Penalty, 10% Arcane Spell Failure Chance, LIGHT

EQUIPMENT - POSSESSIONS  
Dagger 1lb, Leather Armour 15lbs, Waterskin 4lbs, Holy Symbol (Silver) 1lb, Signet Ring

>POUCH, BELT 0.5lbs (Capacity 10lbs)  
Flint and Steel, Sewing Needle, String/Twine [50ft] 0.5lbs

>POUCH, BELT 0.5lbs (Capacity 10lbs)  
Stationary, Sealing Wax 1lb, Ink (Black) [1oz. Vial], Ink (Purple) [1oz. Vial], Inkpen

TOTAL 23.5lbs

EQUIPMENT - MONEY  
9CP, 3SP, 32GP, 0PP  
OTHER:

SKILLS  
TRAINED  
+DIPLOMACY +9(1), +KNOWLEDGE HISTORY +6(1), +KNOWLEDGE NOBILITY +6(1), +KNOWLEDGE PLANES +6(1), +KNOWLEDGE RELIGION +6(1), +SENSE MOTIVE +6(1), +SPELLCRAFT +6(1)

UNTRAINED  
ACROBATICS +1*, APPRAISE +2, BLUFF +3, CLIMB -1*, +CRAFT +2, +DISGUISE +3, ESCAPE ARTIST +1*, +HEAL +2, +INTIMIDATE +3, PERCEPTION +4, PERFORM +3, RIDE +1*, +STEALTH +1*, SURVIVAL +2, SWIM -1*  
(FLY +1*)

*Armour Check Penalty: Skill at –0 due to armour worn.  
+Class Skill

FEATS  
[COMBAT CASTING](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_combat-casting)  
The character is adept at spellcasting when threatened or distracted.

[RACIAL ABILITIES: AASIMAR](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advancedRaceGuide/featuredRaces/aasimars.html#_aasimar-racial-traits)  
AASIMARS DO NOT COUNT AS OUTSIDERS FOR THE PURPOSE OF THIS SETTING.  
[DAYLIGHT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/daylight.html#_daylight) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Aasimars can touch an object and cause it to shed a brilliant light which drives back even magical darkness.  
LANGUAGES – Aasimars begin play speaking Common and Celestial. Aasimars with high Intelligence scores can choose any of the following bonus languages: Draconic, Dwarven, High Elven, Gnome, Halfling, and Sylvan.

SPECIAL ABILITIES  
GODMARKED  
LEVEL 1:  
[HERO’S FORTUNE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/advancedNewRules.html#_hero's-fortune) \- Even at the start of her career, it was clear that the character had a chance at greatness, and her legend continues to grow with every adventure.  
[LORE KEEPER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/cleric.html#_knowledge-domain) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] – The character can touch a creature to learn about its abilities and weaknesses.  
EXTRA – The character treats all Knowledge skills as class skills.

CLASS FEATURES  
WEAPON AND ARMOUR PROFICIENCY: ORACLE  
Oracles are proficient with all simple weapons, light armour, medium armour, and shields (except tower shields).

[CURSE: TONGUES (Abyssal)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/baseClasses/oracle.html#_tongues)  
Whenever the oracle is in combat, she can only speak and understand the Abyssal tongue. She automatically knows the language and can speak it at other times voluntarily.

[REVELATION: NATURAL DIVINATION [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/baseClasses/oracle.html#_natural-divination)  
An oracle can read the entrails of a freshly killed animal, interpret the flights of birds, and chart marks in dirt or stone to gain small advantages at some point in the next day.

SPELLS  
LEVEL 0 [At Will] Save DC 13  
[DETECT MAGIC](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/detectMagic.html#detect-magic), [GUIDANCE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/guidance.html#guidance), [LIGHT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/light.html#light), [READ MAGIC](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/readMagic.html#read-magic), [STABILIZE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/stabilize.html#stabilize)

LEVEL 1 [4/Day] Save DC 14  
[ABADAR'S](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/all-spells/a/abadar-s-truthtelling) [TRUTHTELLING](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/zoneOfTruth.html#zone-of-truth), [CURE LIGHT WOUNDS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/cureLightWounds.html#cure-light-wounds), [INFLICT LIGHT WOUNDS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/inflictLightWounds.html#inflict-light-wounds)

* * *

DAVE STRIDER [ROGUE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/rogue.html#_rogue) ([SWASHBUCKLER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/rogue.html#_swashbuckler)) 1  
TRUE NEUTRAL

TL:DR - A cunning fighter with unexpected tricks up his sleeve and very fast fingers.

[ ](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/law8m9rhpnutadm/Dave%20Strider.png?dl=0)

BASIC STATISTICS  
GENDER: Male  
HAIR/EYES: Blonde hair, red eyes  
HOMELAND: City of Porthaven (No Fixed Abode)/The Greenweald Forest Region (No Fixed Abode)  
DEITY: The Knight of Time  
LANGUAGES: Common, Celestial, High Elven  
RACE: Aasimar

ATTRIBUTES  
STRENGTH: 14[+2]  
DEXTERITY: 15[+2]  
CONSTITUTION: 13[+1]  
INTELLIGENCE: 12[+1]  
WISDOM: 12[+1]  
CHARISMA: 10[+0]

HIT POINTS: 9/9  
HERO POINTS: 1/3  
INITIATIVE: +2  
BASE SPEED/S: 30ft (land)

ARMOUR CLASS [AC]: 15  
TOUCH AC: 12  
FLAT-FOOTED AC: 13

BASE ATTACK BONUS [BAB]: +0  
BASIC MELEE ATTACK: +2  
BASIC RANGED ATTACK: +2  
COMBAT MANEUVER BONUS [CMB]: +2  
COMBAT MANEUVER DEFENCE [CMD]: 14

SAVES  
FORTITUDE: +1  
REFLEX: +4  
WILL: +1

[WEAPONS/ATTACKS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_weapon-descriptions)  
[LONGSWORD](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_longsword) \- [Fragile Quality](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/combat/primitiveArmorAndWeapons.html#fragile), can use two-handed for additional damage but cannot use buckler.  
[SHORTSWORD](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_shortsword)  
[DAGGER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_dagger) \- Can be thrown, range 10ft.

EQUIPMENT - [CARRYING CAPACITY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/additionalRules.html#_carrying-capacity) (STR 15)

EQUIPMENT - ITEM SLOTS  
CLOTHING: PICKPOCKET'S OUTFIT + MASK  
Outfitted with concealed pockets, this clothing gives the character a +2 bonus on hiding small objects on his person. It consists of a pull-on shirt with long sleeves, a loose jacket, drawstring pants, boots and a sturdy belt. The mask is an ornately decorated strip of dark fabric with eye-holes, that both mimics and mocks a stereotypical "bandit" mask.

ARMOUR: LEATHER ARMOUR  
+2 armour bonus, +6 max DEX bonus, -0 Armour Check Penalty, 10% Arcane Spell Failure Chance, LIGHT

SHIELD: BUCKLER  
+1 shield bonus, -1 Armour Check Penalty, 5% Arcane Spell Failure Chance  
SPECIAL: The character can use his shield arm to wield a weapon, but takes a -1 penalty on attack rolls while doing so, and loses the +1 shield bonus to AC until his next turn. It is not possible to shield bash with a buckler.

EQUIPMENT - POSSESSIONS  
Longsword (Fragile) 4lbs, Shortsword 2lbs, Leather Armour 15lbs, Clothing (Mask, 3gp) 1lb, Buckler 5lbs, Dagger 1lb, Waterskin 4lbs, Tools (Thieves') [Hidden on person, DC18 to find] 1lb

>BACKPACK, MASTERWORK 4lbs (Capacity 60lbs, +1 STR to carry loads)  
Tent (Small, 1 person) 20lbs, Bedroll 5lbs, Kit, Cooking 2lbs

>POUCH, BELT 0.5lbs (Capacity 10lbs)  
Flint and Steel, Whetstone 1lb

TOTAL 63.5lbs (32.5lbs without backpack)

EQUIPMENT - MONEY  
8CP, 8SP, 4GP, 0PP  
OTHER:

SKILLS  
TRAINED  
+ACROBATICS +6(1)*, +APPRAISE +5(1), +BLUFF +7(1), +ESCAPE ARTIST +6(1)*, +INTIMIDATE +4(1), +KNOWLEDGE LOCAL +5(1), +PERCEPTION +7(1), +PERFORM(ILL BEATS AND SICK FIRES) +4(1), +SLEIGHT OF HAND +6(1)*, +STEALTH +6(1)*

UNTRAINED  
+CLIMB +2*, +CRAFT +1, +DIPLOMACY +2, +DISGUISE +0, HEAL +1, PERFORM +0, RIDE +2*, +SENSE MOTIVE +1, SURVIVAL +1, +SWIM +2*  
(FLY +2*)

*Armour Check Penalty: Skill at –1 due to armour worn.  
+Class Skill

FEATS  
[ SKILL FOCUS (BLUFF)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_skill-focus)  
The character is particularly adept at the chosen skill.

[RACIAL ABILITIES: AASIMAR](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advancedRaceGuide/featuredRaces/aasimars.html#_aasimar-racial-traits)  
AASIMARS DO NOT COUNT AS OUTSIDERS FOR THE PURPOSE OF THIS SETTING.  
[DAYLIGHT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/daylight.html#_daylight) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Aasimars can touch an object and cause it to shed a brilliant light which drives back even magical darkness.  
LANGUAGES – Aasimars begin play speaking Common and Celestial. Aasimars with high Intelligence scores can choose any of the following bonus languages: Draconic, Dwarven, High Elven, Gnome, Halfling, and Sylvan.

SPECIAL ABILITIES  
GODMARKED  
LEVEL 1:  
WEAPON PROFICIENCY (BASTARD SWORD)  
[INSPIRING COMMAND](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/cleric.html#_inspiring-command) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] – The character can issue an inspiring command to his allies, improving their accuracy, defence, and focus for a short time.

CLASS FEATURES  
WEAPON AND ARMOUR PROFICIENCY: ROGUE  
Rogues are proficient with all simple weapons, plus the hand crossbow, rapier, sap, shortbow, and short sword. They are proficient with light armour, but not with shields.

[MARTIAL TRAINING [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY] (Longsword)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/rogue.html#_martial-training)  
At first level, the swashbuckler may select one martial weapon to add to his list of weapon proficiencies. In addition, he may take the combat trick rogue talent up to two times. 

[SNEAK ATTACK [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY] (+1d6 Precision Damage)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/rogue.html#_sneak-attack)  
A rogue can strike a vital spot for more damage whenever their foe is in a vulnerable position.

* * *

JADE HARLEY [DRUID](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/druid.html#_druid) ([WOLF SHAMAN](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/druid.html#_wolf-shaman)) 1  
NEUTRAL GOOD

TL:DR - A magically empowered guardian of nature with a wolf companion.

[ ](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/j3ycsucgf308cn9/Jade%20Harley.png?dl=0)

BASIC STATISTICS  
GENDER: Female  
HAIR/EYES: Black hair, green eyes  
HOMELAND: The Greenweald Forest Region (The Whispering Grove)  
DEITY: The Witch of Space  
LANGUAGES: Common, High Elven, Sylvan, Druidic  
RACE: Tuatha (High Elf)

ATTRIBUTES  
STRENGTH: 8[-1]  
DEXTERITY: 15[+2]  
CONSTITUTION: 12[+1]  
INTELLIGENCE: 12[+1]  
WISDOM: 15[+2]  
CHARISMA: 12[+1]

HIT POINTS: 9/9  
HERO POINTS: 1/3  
INITIATIVE: +2  
BASE SPEED/S: 30ft (land)

ARMOUR CLASS [AC]: 13  
TOUCH AC: 12  
FLAT-FOOTED AC: 11

BASE ATTACK BONUS [BAB]: +0  
BASIC MELEE ATTACK: -1  
BASIC RANGED ATTACK: +2  
COMBAT MANEUVER BONUS [CMB]: -1  
COMBAT MANEUVER DEFENCE [CMD]: 11

SAVES  
FORTITUDE: +3  
REFLEX: +2  
WILL: +4

[WEAPONS/ATTACKS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_weapon-descriptions)  
[SLING](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_sling) – Less damage from improvised ammunition.  
[DAGGER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_dagger) \- Can be thrown, range 10ft.

EQUIPMENT - [CARRYING CAPACITY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/additionalRules.html#_carrying-capacity) (STR 8)

EQUIPMENT - ITEM SLOTS  
CLOTHING: TRAVELLER'S OUTFIT  
This set of clothes consists of boots, a wool skirt, a sturdy belt, a shirt with a vest, and an ample cloak with a hood.

ARMOUR: PADDED ARMOUR  
+1 armour bonus, +8 max DEX bonus, -0 Armour Check Penalty, 5% Arcane Spell Failure Chance, LIGHT

EQUIPMENT - POSSESSIONS  
Sling, Padded Armour 10lbs, Dagger 1lb, Waterskin 4lbs

>POUCH, BELT 0.5lbs (Capacity 10lbs)  
Sling Bullets [x20] 10lbs

>POUCH, BELT 0.5lbs (Capacity 10lbs)  
Flint and Steel, Holly and Mistletoe, Fishhook, Silent Whistle

>BACKPACK, COMMON 2lbs (Capacity 60lbs)  
Tent (Small, 1 person) 20lbs, Bedroll 5lbs

TOTAL 53lbs (26lbs without backpack)

EQUIPMENT - MONEY  
0CP, 7SP, 40GP, 0PP  
OTHER:

SKILLS  
TRAINED  
+HEAL +8(1), +KNOWLEDGE(GEOGRAPHY) +5(1), +KNOWLEDGE(NATURE) +7(1), +PERCEPTION +8(1), +SPELLCRAFT +5(1), +SURVIVAL +10(1)

UNTRAINED  
ACROBATICS +2*, APPRAISE +1, BLUFF +1, +CLIMB -1*, +CRAFT +1, DIPLOMACY +1, DISGUISE +1, ESCAPE ARTIST +2*, INTIMIDATE +1, PERFORM +1, +RIDE +2*, SENSE MOTIVE +2, STEALTH +2*, SWIM -1*  
(+FLY +2*)

*Armour Check Penalty: Skill at –0 due to armour worn.  
+Class Skill

FEATS  
[SELF-SUFFICIENT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_self-sufficient)  
The character knows how to get along in the wild and how to effectively treat wounds.

[RACIAL ABILITIES: ELVEN](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advancedRaceGuide/coreRaces/elves.html#_elf-racial-traits)  
LANGUAGES - Tuatha begin play speaking Common and High Elven. Tuatha with high Intelligence scores can choose from the following: Celestial, Draconic, Gnoll, Gnome, Goblin, Orc, and Sylvan.

SPECIAL ABILITIES  
GODMARKED  
LEVEL 1:  
WEAPON PROFICIENCY (MUSKET)  
[DIVINE VESSEL](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/cleric.html#_divine-vessel) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (4 USES/DAY) – The character can, whenever divine magic is cast on her, grant her nearby allies a boon on one of their next actions.

CLASS FEATURES  
WEAPON AND ARMOUR PROFICIENCY: DRUID  
Druids are proficient with the following weapons: club, dagger, dart, quarterstaff, scimitar, scythe, sickle, shortspear, sling, and spear. They are also proficient with all natural attacks (claw, bite, and so forth) of any form they assume with wild shape.  
Druids are proficient with light and medium armour but are prohibited from wearing metal armour. Druids are proficient with shields (except tower shields) but must use only wooden ones. A druid who wears prohibited armour or uses a prohibited shield is unable to cast druid spells or use any supernatural or spell-like class abilities while doing so, and for 24 hours thereafter.

[SPONTANEOUS CASTING](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/druid.html#_spontaneous-casting-druid)  
A druid can channel stored spell energy to summon a creature to aid her.

[NATURE BOND [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/druid.html#wolf-shaman): ANIMAL COMPANION (BEC, [WOLF](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/monsters/wolf.html#_wolf))  
HIT POINTS: 11/11  
SIZE: Medium SPEED: 50ft  
STR 13[+1], DEX 15[+2], CON 15[+2], INT 2[-4], WIS 12[+1], CHA 6[-2]  
ATTACK:  
BAB: +1 ATTACK: BITE +2 (1d6+1), trip  
CMB: +2  
DEFENCE:  
AC: 15 (Natural Armour +3)  
CMD: 14  
SAVES: FORT 5, REF 5, WILL 1  
SKILLS:  
Survival 2, Perception 5  
FEATS:  
[Improved Natural Armour](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/additionalMonsters/monsterFeats.html#improved-natural-armor)  
TRICKS:  
Down – The animal breaks off from combat or otherwise backs down.  
SPECIAL ABILITIES:  
[Low-Light Vision](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/glossary.html#_low-light-vision), [Scent](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/glossary.html#_scent), [Link](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/druid.html#_companions-link), [Share Spells](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/druid.html#_companions-share-spells)

NATURE SENSE [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
A druid is more knowledgeable about nature and better able to survive in the wilderness.

WILD EMPATHY [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
A druid can communicate wordlessly with an animal, in the hope of making it more friendly towards the druid and her allies. A wolf shaman is particularly good at communicating with canines.

SPELLS  
[DRUID LEVEL 0](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/spell-lists-and-domains/spell-lists---druid#p0) [3 Prepared, At Will] Save DC 12  
+KNOW DIRECTION – You discern north.  
+MENDING – Makes minor repairs on an object.  
+SPARK – Ignites flammable objects.

[DRUID LEVEL 1](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/spell-lists-and-domains/spell-lists---druid#p1) [2/Day Prepared] Save DC 13  
+ANT HAUL – Triples carrying capacity of a creature (2 hours/level).  
+GOODBERRY – 2d4 berries each cure 1hp (max 8hp/24 hours).

* * *

KARKAT VANTAS [FIGHTER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/fighter.html#_fighter) ([MOBILE FIGHTER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/fighter.html#_mobile-fighter)) 1  
TRUE NEUTRAL

TL:DR - A warrior who specialises in multiple fast strikes in the thick of melee.

[ ](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/b0l3sqyw6i9owye/Karkat%20Vantas.png?dl=0)

BASIC STATISTICS  
GENDER: Male  
HAIR/EYES: White hair, red eyes  
HOMELAND: City of Golgesi (The Shanties)  
DEITY: The Knight of Blood  
LANGUAGES: Undercommon, High Elven, Drow Sign Language  
RACE: Drow (Dark Elf)

ATTRIBUTES  
STRENGTH: 14[+2]  
DEXTERITY: 17[+3]  
CONSTITUTION: 11[+0]  
INTELLIGENCE: 12[+1]  
WISDOM: 8[-1]  
CHARISMA: 12[+1]

HIT POINTS: 10/10  
HERO POINTS: 2/5  
INITIATIVE: +3  
BASE SPEED/S: 30ft (land)

ARMOUR CLASS [AC]: 17  
TOUCH AC: 13  
FLAT-FOOTED AC: 14

BASE ATTACK BONUS [BAB]: +1  
BASIC MELEE ATTACK: +3  
BASIC RANGED ATTACK: +4  
COMBAT MANEUVER BONUS [CMB]: +3  
COMBAT MANEUVER DEFENCE [CMD]: 16

SAVES  
FORTITUDE: +2  
REFLEX: +3  
WILL: -1

[WEAPONS/ATTACKS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_weapon-descriptions)  
[DUAL SICKLES](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_sickle) – Two attacks a round at a reduced attack bonus, or one attack a round at normal attack bonus. This is a [trip](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/equipment.html#_trip) weapon.  
[DAGGER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_dagger) \- Can be thrown, range 10ft.

EQUIPMENT - [CARRYING CAPACITY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/additionalRules.html#_carrying-capacity) (STR 14)

EQUIPMENT - ITEM SLOTS  
CLOTHING: PEASANT'S OUTFIT  
This set of clothes consists of a loose shirt and baggy breeches. Cloth wrappings are used to hold the shoes together.

ARMOUR: ARMOURED COAT  
+4 armour bonus, +3 max DEX bonus, -2 Armour Check Penalty, 20% Arcane Spell Failure Chance, MEDIUM  
SPECIAL: Can be donned or removed as a move action (there is no "don hastily" option for an armoured coat). If worn over other armour, use the better AC bonus and worse value in all other categories; an armoured coat has no effect if worn with heavy armour. The only magic effects that apply are those worn on top.

EQUIPMENT - POSSESSIONS  
Sickle [x2] 4lbs, Armoured Coat 20lbs, Dagger 1lb, Waterskin 4lbs

>BACKPACK, COMMON 2lbs (Capacity 60lbs)  
Tattered Journal 3lbs, Blanket (Common) 1lb, Rations (Trail) [x18] 18lb, Pesh Dose [x1]

>POUCH, BELT 0.5lbs (Capacity 10lbs)  
Flint and Steel, Charcoal Stick [x2], Whetstone 1lb, Compass 0.5lbs, Map [+1 circumstance bonus on Knowledge Dungeoneering checks made to navigate to the surface from Golgesi] 2lbs

TOTAL 58lbs

EQUIPMENT - MONEY  
8CP, 6SP, 10GP, 0PP  
OTHER:

SKILLS  
TRAINED  
ACROBATICS +4(1)*, +CLIMB +6(1)*, KNOWLEDGE(LOCAL) +1(1), SENSE MOTIVE +0(1)

UNTRAINED  
APPRAISE +0, BLUFF +1, +CRAFT +0, DIPLOMACY +1, DISGUISE +1, ESCAPE ARTIST +3*, HEAL -1, +INTIMIDATE +1, PERCEPTION +1, PERFORM +1, +RIDE +3*, STEALTH +3*, +SURVIVAL -1, +SWIM +2*  
(FLY +3*)

*Armour Check Penalty: Skill at –2 due to armour worn.  
+Class Skill

FEATS  
[COMBAT REFLEXES](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_combat-reflexes)  
The character can make additional attacks of opportunity.

[RACIAL ABILITIES: DROW](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advancedRaceGuide/featuredRaces/drow.html#_drow-racial-traits)  
[DANCING LIGHTS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/dancingLights.html#_dancing-lights) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Drow can create up to four illusory lights and direct their motion.  
[DARKNESS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/darkness.html#_darkness) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Drow can touch an object and cause it to radiate a deep darkness that dims even magical light.  
[FAERIE FIRE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/faerieFire.html#_faerie-fire) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Drow can cause a person to glow with a pale fire that clings to them even if they are not otherwise visible.  
LANGUAGES - Drow begin play speaking Undercommon and High Elven. Drow with high Intelligence can choose bonus languages from the following: Common, Dark Folk, Draconic, Drow Sign Language, Dwarven, Gnome, Goblin or Infernal.

SPECIAL ABILITIES  
GODMARKED  
LEVEL 1:  
[HERO’S FORTUNE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/advancedNewRules.html#_hero's-fortune) \- Even at the start of his career, it was clear that the character had a chance at greatness, and his legend continues to grow with every adventure.  
[INSPIRING COMMAND](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/cleric.html#_inspiring-command) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] – The character can issue an inspiring command to his allies, improving their accuracy, defence, and focus for a short time.

CLASS FEATURES  
WEAPON AND ARMOUR PROFICIENCY: FIGHTER  
A fighter is proficient with all simple and martial weapons and with all armour (heavy, light, and medium) and shields (including tower shields).

FEAT: [TWO-WEAPON FIGHTING [REQUIRES: DEX 15]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_two-weapon-fighting)  
The fighter can fight with a weapon wielded in each of his hands. He can make one extra attack each round with the secondary weapon.

* * *

GAMZEE MAKARA [BARBARIAN](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/barbarian.html#_barbarian) 1  
CHAOTIC NEUTRAL

TL:DR - A front-line fighter who can pick up anything and kill you with it. Angrily.

[ ](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/c1txnurdtt4uv83/Gamzee%20Makara.png?dl=0)

BASIC STATISTICS  
GENDER: Male  
HAIR/EYES: White hair, purple eyes  
HOMELAND: City of Golgesi (House Kutsanmis Enclave)  
DEITY: The Bard of Rage  
LANGUAGES: Undercommon, High Elven  
RACE: Drow (Dark Elf)

ATTRIBUTES  
STRENGTH: 14[+2] (18[+4])  
WITHDRAWAL: 12(16): -1 to all STR  
DEXTERITY: 15[+2]  
PESH HIGH: 11: -2 to all DEX  
CONSTITUTION: 13[+1] (17[+3])  
WITHDRAWAL: 11(15): -1 to all CON  
INTELLIGENCE: 8[-1]  
WISDOM: 12[+1]  
PESH HIGH: 8: -2 to all WIS  
CHARISMA: 12[+1]

HIT POINTS: 14(16)/14(16) [+15 PESH HIGH- FIRST HOUR ONLY]  
HERO POINTS: 1/3  
INITIATIVE: +2  
BASE SPEED/S: 40ft (land)

ARMOUR CLASS [AC]: 15(13)  
TOUCH AC: 12(10)  
FLAT-FOOTED AC: 13(11)

BASE ATTACK BONUS [BAB]: +1  
BASIC MELEE ATTACK: +3(5)  
BASIC RANGED ATTACK: +3  
COMBAT MANEUVER BONUS [CMB]: +3(5)  
COMBAT MANEUVER DEFENCE [CMD]: 15(17)

SAVES  
FORTITUDE: +3(5) CURRENT PESH ADDICTION DC: 20  
REFLEX: +2  
WILL: +3(5) PESH HIGH: +2 morale bonus versus fear effects.

[WEAPONS/ATTACKS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_weapon-descriptions)  
[IMPROVISED WEAPONS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/equipment.html#_improvised-weapons) – Attack as per basic ranged or melee attack, and damage as per closest match on the weapon list. There is a +1 circumstance bonus to attack rolls for improvised splash weapons.  
[CROSSBOW, LIGHT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_light-crossbow) – 10 ammunition

EQUIPMENT - [CARRYING CAPACITY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/additionalRules.html#_carrying-capacity) (STR 14/18)

EQUIPMENT - ITEM SLOTS  
CLOTHING: MONK'S OUTFIT  
This simple outfit includes sandals, loose breeches, and a loose shirt, and is bound together with sashes. The outfit is designed to give the character maximum mobility, and it's made of high-quality fabric. He can conceal small weapons in pockets hidden in the folds, and the sashes are strong enough to serve as short ropes.

ARMOUR: HOUSE KUTSANMIS PARADE ARMOUR  
+3 armour bonus, +5 max DEX bonus, -1 Armour Check Penalty, 15% Arcane Spell Failure Chance, LIGHT  
SPECIAL: A character wearing a country's parade armour gains a +2 Circumstance bonus to Diplomacy and Intimidate checks to influence a person from that country.

EQUIPMENT - POSSESSIONS  
Crossbow (Light) 4lbs, Bolts (Crossbow) [x10] 1lb, Parade Armour 20lbs

>BACKPACK, COMMON 2lbs (Capacity 60lbs)  
Blanket, Common 1lb, Pesh Dose [x2]

TOTAL 28lbs

EQUIPMENT - MONEY  
0CP, 8SP, 1GP, 0PP  
OTHER:  
[PESH COSTS 20GP/DOSE]

SKILLS  
TRAINED  
+CRAFT(COOKING) +3(1), +INTIMIDATE +5(1), PERFORM(CHILL RHYMES) +2(1)

UNTRAINED  
+ACROBATICS +2*, APPRAISE -1, BLUFF +1, +CLIMB +2*, +CRAFT +0, DIPLOMACY +1, DISGUISE +1, ESCAPE ARTIST +2*, HEAL +1, +PERCEPTION +1, PERFORM +1, +RIDE +2*, SENSE MOTIVE +1, STEALTH +2*, +SURVIVAL +1, +SWIM +2*  
(FLY +2*)

*Armour Check Penalty: Skill at –1 due to armour worn  
+Class Skill

FEATS  
[THROW ANYTHING](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_throw-anything)  
The character is used to throwing things he has on hand.

[RACIAL ABILITIES: DROW](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advancedRaceGuide/featuredRaces/drow.html#_drow-racial-traits)  
[DANCING LIGHTS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/dancingLights.html#_dancing-lights) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Drow can create up to four illusory lights and direct their motion.  
[DARKNESS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/darkness.html#_darkness) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Drow can touch an object and cause it to radiate a deep darkness that dims even magical light.  
[FAERIE FIRE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/faerieFire.html#_faerie-fire) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Drow can cause a person to glow with a pale fire that clings to them even if they are not otherwise visible.  
LANGUAGES - Drow begin play speaking Undercommon and High Elven. Drow with high Intelligence can choose bonus languages from the following: Common, Dark Folk, Draconic, Drow Sign Language, Dwarven, Gnome, Goblin or Infernal.

SPECIAL ABILITIES  
[PESH ADDICTION](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/mastery/drugsAndAddiction.html#_drugs-and-addiction) – [ADVENTURER'S ARMOURY VERSION](www.d20pfsrd.com/equipment---final/goods-and-services/herbs-oils-other-substances)  
A Pesh high lasts for one day. For the first hour, the character is tougher, and for the full day he is braver, but he is also uncoordinated, unfocused, and mentally pliable. When the character comes down from this high, he suffers physical weakness and fragility. Curing the addiction without magical intervention is a long and difficult process, requiring good physical health and complete abstinence.

GODMARKED  
LEVEL 1:  
CATCH OFF-GUARD: Foes are surprised by the character’s skilled use of unorthodox and improvised weapons.  
[DESTRUCTIVE SMITE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/cleric.html#_destruction-domain) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (4 USES/DAY)– The character can do more damage on a single melee attack, dependent on his character level.

CLASS FEATURES  
WEAPON AND ARMOUR PROFICIENCY: BARBARIAN  
A barbarian is proficient with all simple and martial weapons, light armour, medium armour and shields (except tower shields).

FAST MOVEMENT [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
A barbarian can move faster than other members of his race, so long as he is not heavily burdened.

[RAGE](paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/barbarian.html#_rage) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY] (5 ROUNDS/DAY)  
A barbarian can call on inner reserves of strength and ferocity, granting him additional combat prowess for a while but exhausting him when spent.

* * *

TEREZI PYROPE [INQUISITOR](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/baseClasses/inquisitor.html) 1  
LAWFUL NEUTRAL

TL:DR - A middling warrior with some magical talent who gets many, many bonuses in the pursuit of justice.

[ ](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/2umrh3lzr4tav35/Terezi%20Pyrope.png?dl=0)

BASIC STATISTICS  
GENDER: Female  
HAIR/EYES: White hair, teal eyes  
HOMELAND: City of Golgesi (Temple Spire)  
DEITY: The Seer of Mind  
LANGUAGES: Undercommon, High Elven, Infernal  
RACE: Drow (Dark Elf)

ATTRIBUTES  
STRENGTH: 10[+0]  
DEXTERITY: 15[+2]  
CONSTITUTION: 12[+1]  
INTELLIGENCE: 12[+1]  
WISDOM: 15[+2]  
CHARISMA: 10[+0]

HIT POINTS: 9/9  
HERO POINTS: 2/5  
INITIATIVE: +2  
BASE SPEED/S: 30ft (land)

ARMOUR CLASS [AC]: 15  
TOUCH AC: 12  
FLAT-FOOTED AC: 13

BASE ATTACK BONUS [BAB]: +0  
BASIC MELEE ATTACK: +0  
BASIC RANGED ATTACK: +2  
COMBAT MANEUVER BONUS [CMB]: +0  
COMBAT MANEUVER DEFENCE [CMD]: 12

SAVES  
FORTITUDE: +3  
REFLEX: +2  
WILL: +4

[WEAPONS/ATTACKS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_weapon-descriptions)  
[SWORD CANE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/advancedGear.html#_sword-cane) \- The blade is well-concealed in the cane.  
[CROSSBOW, LIGHT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_light-crossbow) – 20 ammunition  
[DAGGER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_dagger) \- Can be thrown, range 10ft.

EQUIPMENT - [CARRYING CAPACITY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/additionalRules.html#_carrying-capacity) (STR 10)

EQUIPMENT - ITEM SLOTS  
CLOTHING: EXPLORER'S OUTFIT  
This set of clothes is for someone who never knows what to expect. It includes sturdy boots, leather breeches, a belt, a shirt, gloves and a cloak. The clothes have plenty of pockets (especially the cloak). The outfit also includes any extra accessories the character might need, such as a scarf or a wide-brimmed hat.

ARMOUR: GOLGESI LAWKEEPER PARADE ARMOUR  
+3 armour bonus, +5 max DEX bonus, -1 Armour Check Penalty, 15% Arcane Spell Failure Chance, LIGHT  
SPECIAL: A character wearing a country's parade armour gains a +2 Circumstance bonus to Diplomacy and Intimidate checks to influence a person from that country.

EQUIPMENT - POSSESSIONS  
Sword Cane 4lbs, Crossbow (Light) 4lbs, Bolts (Crossbow) [x20] 2lb, Parade Armour 20lbs, Rope (Hemp) [50ft] 10lbs, Eyeglasses, Holy Symbol (Copper) 0.5lb, Dagger 1lb

>POUCH, BELT 0.5lbs (Capacity 10lbs)  
Flint and Steel, Whetstone 1lb, Manacles 2lbs

TOTAL 43.5lbs

EQUIPMENT - MONEY  
8CP, 9SP, 3GP, 0PP  
OTHER:

SKILLS  
TRAINED  
+BLUFF +4(1), +INTIMIDATE +5(1), +KNOWLEDGE DUNGEONEERING +5(1), +KNOWLEDGE LOCAL +5(1), +KNOWLEDGE RELIGION +5(1), +PERCEPTION +6(1), +PROFESSION(GOLGESI LAWKEEPER) +6(1), +SENSE MOTIVE +7(1)

UNTRAINED  
ACROBATICS +2*, APPRAISE +1, +CLIMB +0*, +CRAFT +1, +DIPLOMACY +0, +DISGUISE +0, ESCAPE ARTIST +2*, +HEAL +2, PERFORM +0, +RIDE +2*, STEALTH +2*, SURVIVAL +2, SWIM +0*  
(FLY +2*)

*Armour Check Penalty: Skill at –1 due to armour worn.  
+Class Skill

FEATS  
[BLIND-FIGHT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_blind-fight%0A)  
The character is skilled at attacking opponents that she cannot clearly perceive.

[RACIAL ABILITIES: DROW](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advancedRaceGuide/featuredRaces/drow.html#_drow-racial-traits)  
[DANCING LIGHTS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/dancingLights.html#_dancing-lights) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Drow can create up to four illusory lights and direct their motion.  
[DARKNESS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/darkness.html#_darkness) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Drow can touch an object and cause it to radiate a deep darkness that dims even magical light.  
[FAERIE FIRE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/faerieFire.html#_faerie-fire) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Drow can cause a person to glow with a pale fire that clings to them even if they are not otherwise visible.  
LANGUAGES - Drow begin play speaking Undercommon and High Elven. Drow with high Intelligence can choose bonus languages from the following: Common, Dark Folk, Draconic, Drow Sign Language, Dwarven, Gnome, Goblin or Infernal.

SPECIAL ABILITIES  
GODMARKED  
LEVEL 1:  
[HERO’S FORTUNE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/advancedNewRules.html#_hero's-fortune) \- Even at the start of her career, it was clear that the character had a chance at greatness, and her legend continues to grow with every adventure.  
[LORE KEEPER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/cleric.html#_knowledge-domain) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] – The character can touch a creature to learn about its abilities and weaknesses.  
EXTRA – The character treats all Knowledge skills as class skills.

CLASS FEATURES  
WEAPON AND ARMOUR PROFICIENCY: INQUISITOR  
An inquisitor is proficient with all simple weapons, plus the hand crossbow, longbow, repeating crossbow, shortbow, and the favoured weapon of her deity (THE SEER OF MIND favours the SWORD CANE). She is also proficient with light armour, medium armour, and shields (except tower shields).

DOMAIN: [INQUISITION (Justice)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spellcastingClassOptions/inquisitor.html#_justice-inquisition)  
JUDICIOUS FORCE [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (2 USES/DAY)  
The inquisitor or an ally next to her has a better chance of doing a massively damaging strike to their foe.

[JUDGEMENT](paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/baseClasses/inquisitor.html#_judgment) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY)  
The inquisitor can gain one of several abilities for a combat, so long as she is able to participate in the action. She can also switch which ability she is using partway through.

MONSTER LORE [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
The inquisitor is skilled at identifying the abilities and weaknesses of creatures.

STERN GAZE [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
Inquisitors are skilled at sensing deception and intimidating their foes.

SPELLS  
LEVEL 0 [At Will] Save DC 12  
[BRAND](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/spells/brand.html#_brand), [DETECT MAGIC](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/detectMagic.html#_detect-magic), [DETECT POISON](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/detectPoison.html#_detect-poison), [SIFT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/spells/sift.html#_sift)

LEVEL 1 [2/Day] Save DC 13  
[COMPREHEND LANGUAGES](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/comprehendLanguages.html#_comprehend-languages), [DIVINE FAVOUR](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/divineFavor.html#_divine-favor)

* * *

SOLLUX CAPTOR [SORCERER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/sorcerer.html#_sorcerer) \- [ARCANE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/sorcerer.html#_arcane) ([SAGE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spellcastingClassOptions/sorcerer.html#_sage))/[DESTINED](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/sorcerer.html#_destined) ([KARMIC](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spellcastingClassOptions/sorcerer.html#_karmic)) ([CROSSBLOODED](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spellcastingClassOptions/sorcerer.html#_crossblooded-\(archetype\)) [WORDCASTER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/ultimateMagicWordsOfPower.html)) 1  
CHAOTIC NEUTRAL

TL:DR – FUTH RO DAH! Only with more fire.

[ ](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/84k7twll53thvqy/Sollux%20Captor.png?dl=0)

BASIC STATISTICS  
GENDER: Male  
HAIR/EYES: White hair, one red and one blue eye  
HOMELAND: The Greenweald Forest Region (No Fixed Abode)  
DEITY: The Mage of Doom  
LANGUAGES: Common, High Elven, Orc, Infernal, Undercommon  
RACE: Halfbreed (Drow/Tiefling)

ATTRIBUTES  
STRENGTH: 12[+1]  
DEXTERITY: 14[+2]  
CONSTITUTION: 13[+1]  
INTELLIGENCE: 17[+3]  
WISDOM: 8[-1]  
CHARISMA: 10[+0]

HIT POINTS: 8/8  
HERO POINTS: 1/3  
INITIATIVE: +2  
BASE SPEED/S: 30ft (land)

ARMOUR CLASS [AC]: 12  
TOUCH AC: 12  
FLAT-FOOTED AC: 10

BASE ATTACK BONUS [BAB]: +0  
BASIC MELEE ATTACK: +1  
BASIC RANGED ATTACK: +2  
COMBAT MANEUVER BONUS [CMB]: +1  
COMBAT MANEUVER DEFENCE [CMD]: 13

SAVES  
FORTITUDE: +1  
REFLEX: +2  
WILL: +1

[WEAPONS/ATTACKS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_weapon-descriptions)  
[SHURIKEN](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_shuriken) \- 5 Ammunition

EQUIPMENT - [CARRYING CAPACITY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/additionalRules.html#_carrying-capacity) (STR 12)

EQUIPMENT - ITEM SLOTS  
CLOTHING: EXPLORER'S OUTFIT  
This set of clothes is for someone who never knows what to expect. It includes sturdy boots, leather breeches, a belt, a shirt with a jacket, gloves and a cloak. The clothes have plenty of pockets (especially the cloak). The outfit also includes any extra accessories the character might need, such as a scarf or a wide-brimmed hat.

EQUIPMENT - POSSESSIONS  
Shuriken [x5] 0.5lb, Eyeglasses

>BACKPACK, MASTERWORK 4lbs (Capacity 60lbs)  
Tent (Medium, 2 people) 30lbs, Bedroll [x2] 10lbs

TOTAL 44.5lbs

EQUIPMENT - MONEY  
0CP, 8SP, 3GP, 0PP  
OTHER:

SKILLS  
TRAINED  
+KNOWLEDGE ARCANA +9(1), +KNOWLEDGE DUNGEONEERING +7(1), +KNOWLEDGE HISTORY +7(1), +SPELLCRAFT +9(1), +USE MAGIC DEVICE +5(1)

UNTRAINED  
+ACROBATICS +2*, APPRAISE +3, +BLUFF -1, CLIMB +1*, +CRAFT +3, DIPLOMACY +0, DISGUISE +0, ESCAPE ARTIST +2*, HEAL -1, +INTIMIDATE +0, PERCEPTION -1, PERFORM +0, RIDE +2*, SENSE MOTIVE +0, STEALTH +0*, SURVIVAL -1, SWIM +1*  
(+FLY +2*)

*Armour Check Penalty: Skill at –0 due to armour worn.  
+Class Skill

FEATS  
EXTRA WORD [CASTER LEVEL 1ST IN BARD, ORACLE OR SORCERER]   
The character has uncovered a new word of power.

[RACIAL ABILITIES: HALF-ELF](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advancedRaceGuide/coreRaces/halfElves.html#_half-elf-racial-traits) ([ALTERNATE RACIAL TRAITS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advancedRaceGuide/coreRaces/halfElves.html#_alternate-racial-traits))  
ATTRIBUTE SHIFT - +2 Intelligence.  
DROW-BLOODED – Replaces Low-Light Vision.  
ELVEN IMMUNITIES.  
MIXED BLOOD – The character counts as both Drow and Tiefling for any effect related to race. Replaces Elf Blood.  
WARY – Replaces Keen Senses.  
DUAL MINDED – Replaces Adaptability.  
ARCANE TRAINING – Replaces Multitalented.  
LANGUAGES – Halfbreeds begin play speaking Common and High Elven. Halfbreeds with high Intelligence scores can choose any language as a bonus language (except secret languages, such as Druidic).

SPECIAL ABILITIES  
GODMARKED  
LEVEL 1:  
WEAPON PROFICIENCY (SHURIKEN)  
[ARCANE BEACON](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/cleric.html#_arcane-beacon) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (3 USES/DAY) – The character can emanate an aura that makes spells cast near him more powerful and harder to resist.

CLASS FEATURES  
WEAPON AND ARMOUR PROFICIENCY: SORCERER  
Sorcerers are proficient with all simple weapons. They are not proficient with any type of armour or shield. Armour interferes with a sorcerer's gestures, which can cause his spells with somatic components to fail.

FEAT: [ESCHEW MATERIALS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_eschew-materials)  
The character can cast many spells without needing to utilize minor material components.

BLOODLINE: [CROSSBLOODED](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spellcastingClassOptions/sorcerer.html#_crossblooded-%28archetype%29) [SAGE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spellcastingClassOptions/sorcerer.html#_sage)/[KARMIC](paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spellcastingClassOptions/sorcerer.html#_karmic)  
CLASS SKILL: Knowledge (Any One: Dungeoneering) and Knowledge History.  
BLOODLINE ARCANA: Unlike most sorcerers, the character understands and masters his magic through intellect rather than force of personality, and has a better understanding of arcane forces as a result. Additionally, if he fails to cast when under threat, the creature that disrupted his concentration is left vulnerable to attack.  
DRAWBACK: A crossblooded sorcerer has one fewer spell known at each level, and is weaker willed.  
BLOODLINE POWERS:  
1\. ARCANE BOLT [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (6 USES/DAY): The sorcerer can unleash a ray of magical force as an attack, increasing in power dependant on the sorcerer's class level.

SPELLS: [WORDS OF POWER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/ultimateMagicWordsOfPower.html#_words-of-power)  


LEVEL 0 [At Will] Save DC 13  
One Effect Word Only (Level 0)

LEVEL 1 [4/Day] Save DC 14  
One Effect Word Only (Level 1 or lower)

[EFFECT WORDS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/wordsOfPower/effectWords.html)   
[FLAME JET (Fire 0)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/wordsOfPower/effectWords/fireWords.html#_flame-jet-%28fire%29), [LIFT (Gravity 0)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/wordsOfPower/effectWords/gravityWords.html#_lift-%28gravity%29)  
[BURNING FLASH (Fire 1)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/wordsOfPower/effectWords/fireWords.html#_burning-flash-%28fire%29), [GLIDE (Flight 1)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/spells/glide.html#_glide-)

[TARGET WORDS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/wordsOfPower/targetWords.html)   
CONE (Target 0), PERSONAL (Target 0), SELECTED (Target 0)  
BURST (Target 1), LINE (Target 1)  
BARRIER (Target 3)

[META WORDS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/wordsOfPower/metaWords.html)   
(NOTE: META WORDS CAN ONLY BE USED ½ WORDCASTER LEVEL TIMES PER DAY)  
BOOST (Meta 0), DISTANT (Meta 0)

* * *

ARADIA MEGIDO [SORCERER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/sorcerer.html#_sorcerer) \- [DREAMSPUN](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/sorcerer.html#_dreamspun) 1  
TRUE NEUTRAL

TL:DR - An instinctive spellcaster with a gift for spells of sleep (which all elves are immune to, by the way) and distant force. Also very squishy.

[ ](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/7ub9bd7pt8m7sv0/Aradia%20Megido.png?dl=0)

BASIC STATISTICS  
GENDER: Female  
HAIR/EYES: Black hair, red eyes  
HOMELAND: The Greenweald Forest Region (No Fixed Abode)  
DEITY: The Maid of Time  
LANGUAGES: Common, Infernal, Orc, High Elven  
RACE: Tiefling

ATTRIBUTES  
STRENGTH: 8[-1]  
DEXTERITY: 12[+1]  
CONSTITUTION: 12[+1]  
INTELLIGENCE: 15[+2]  
WISDOM: 14[+2]  
CHARISMA: 13[+1] (15[+2])

HIT POINTS: 7/7  
HERO POINTS: 1/3  
INITIATIVE: +1  
BASE SPEED/S: 30ft (land)

ARMOUR CLASS [AC]: 11  
TOUCH AC: 11  
FLAT-FOOTED AC: 10

BASE ATTACK BONUS [BAB]: +0  
BASIC MELEE ATTACK: -1  
BASIC RANGED ATTACK: +1  
COMBAT MANEUVER BONUS [CMB]: -1  
COMBAT MANEUVER DEFENCE [CMD]: 10

SAVES  
FORTITUDE: +1  
REFLEX: +1  
WILL: +4

[WEAPONS/ATTACKS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_weapon-descriptions)  
[WHIP](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_whip) \- This is a [nonlethal](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/equipment.html#_nonlethal), [reach](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/equipment.html#_reach-weapons), [disarm](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/equipment.html#_disarm), [trip](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/equipment.html#_trip) weapon. A whip deals no damage to any creature with an armour bonus of +1 or higher, or a natural armour bonus of +3 or higher. Using a whip provokes an attack of opportunity, just as if the character had used a ranged weapon.

EQUIPMENT - [CARRYING CAPACITY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/additionalRules.html#_carrying-capacity) (STR 8)

EQUIPMENT - ITEM SLOTS  
CLOTHING: EXPLORER'S OUTFIT  
This set of clothes is for someone who never knows what to expect. It includes sturdy boots, leather skirt, a belt, a shirt with a vest, gloves and a cloak. The clothes have plenty of pockets (especially the cloak). The outfit also includes any extra accessories the character might need, such as a scarf or a wide-brimmed hat.

EQUIPMENT - POSSESSIONS  
Whip 2lbs, Waterskin 4lbs

>POUCH, BELT 0.5lbs (Capacity 10lbs)  
Rope (Silk) [50ft] 5lbs, String/Twine [50ft] 0.5lbs, Sewing Needle, Compass 0.5lbs, Kit (Map Making) [Anyone using this kit to draw a map as they travel receives a +2 circumstance bonus on Survival skill checks to avoid becoming lost] 2lbs

>POUCH, BELT 0.5lbs (Capacity 10lbs)  
Kit (Cooking) 2lbs  
Rations (Wandermeal) [x16] [Eating this tough, dried cake for over a week without other nutrients causes the eater to feel ill] 8lbs

TOTAL 25lbs

EQUIPMENT - MONEY  
3CP, 3SP, 29GP, 0PP  
OTHER:

SKILLS  
TRAINED  
+ACROBATICS +5(1)*, KNOWLEDGE DUNGEONEERING +3(1), KNOWLEDGE HISTORY +3(1), SURVIVAL +3(1), +USE MAGIC DEVICE +5(1)

UNTRAINED  
APPRAISE +2, +BLUFF +1, CLIMB -1*, +CRAFT +2, DIPLOMACY +1, DISGUISE +1, ESCAPE ARTIST +1*, HEAL +2, +INTIMIDATE +1, PERCEPTION +2, PERFORM +1, RIDE +1*, +SENSE MOTIVE +2, STEALTH +1*, SWIM -1*  
(+FLY +1*)

*Armour Check Penalty: Skill at –0 due to armour worn.  
+Class Skill

FEATS  
[COMBAT CASTING](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_combat-casting)  
The character is adept at spellcasting when threatened or distracted.

[RACIAL ABILITIES: TIEFLING](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advancedRaceGuide/featuredRaces/tieflings.html#_tiefling-racial-traits)  
TIEFLINGS DO NOT COUNT AS OUTSIDERS FOR THE PURPOSE OF THIS SETTING.  
SORCEROUS GIFT - Tiefling sorcerers treat their Charisma score as 2 points higher for all sorcerer class abilities.  
[DARKNESS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/darkness.html#_darkness) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Tieflings can touch an object and cause it to radiate a deep darkness that dims even magical light.  
LANGUAGES - Tieflings begin play speaking Common and either Abyssal or Infernal. Tieflings with high Intelligence scores can choose any of the following bonus languages: Abyssal, Draconic, Dwarven, High Elven, Gnome, Goblin, Halfling, Infernal, and Orc.

SPECIAL ABILITIES  
GODMARKED  
LEVEL 1:  
WEAPON PROFICIENCY (WHIP)  
[BINDING TIES](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/cleric.html#_binding-ties) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (4 USES/DAY) – The character can temporarily take the suffering as an ally onto herself, rendering them temporarily immune to the condition for a short time dependent on her character level.

CLASS FEATURES  
WEAPON AND ARMOUR PROFICIENCY: SORCERER  
Sorcerers are proficient with all simple weapons. They are not proficient with any type of armour or shield. Armour interferes with a sorcerer's gestures, which can cause her spells with somatic components to fail.

FEAT: [ESCHEW MATERIALS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_eschew-materials)  
The character can cast many spells without needing to utilize minor material components.

BLOODLINE: [DREAMSPUN](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/sorcerer.html#_dreamspun)  
CLASS SKILL: Sense Motive.  
BLOODLINE ARCANA: Whenever the character targets a single creature with a spell, she is briefly better protected against attacks made by that foe.  
BLOODLINE POWERS:  
1\. LULLABY [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (5 USES/DAY): The character can make another creature drowsy, rendering them less perceptive and more susceptible to sleep magic.

SPELLS  
LEVEL 0 [At Will] Save DC 12  
[DETECT MAGIC](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/detectMagic.html#_detect-magic), [MAGE HAND](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/mageHand.html#_mage-hand), [MESSAGE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/message.html#_message), [PRESTIDIGITATION](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/prestidigitation.html#_prestidigitation)

LEVEL 1 [4/Day] Save DC 13  
[UNSEEN SERVANT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/unseenServant.html#_unseen-servant), [SLEEP](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/sleep.html#_sleep)

* * *

KANAYA MARYAM [CLERIC](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/cleric.html#_cleric) 1  
TRUE NEUTRAL

TL:DR - Heals comrades, explodes undead, and occasionally calls down the divine wrath of the heavens.

[ ](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/pr755a7hqttsxhr/Kanaya%20Maryam.png?dl=0)

BASIC STATISTICS  
GENDER: Female  
HAIR/EYES: White hair, green eyes  
HOMELAND: City of Golgesi (Temple Spire)/The Greenweald Forest Region (No Fixed Abode)  
DEITY: The Sylph of Space  
LANGUAGES: Undercommon, High Elven  
RACE: Drow (Dark Elf)

ATTRIBUTES  
STRENGTH: 13[+1]  
DEXTERITY: 10[+0]  
CONSTITUTION: 12[+1]  
INTELLIGENCE: 10[+0]  
WISDOM: 15[+2]  
CHARISMA: 14[+2]

HIT POINTS: 9/9  
HERO POINTS: 2/5  
INITIATIVE: +0  
BASE SPEED/S: 30ft (land)

ARMOUR CLASS [AC]: 14  
TOUCH AC: 10  
FLAT-FOOTED AC: 14

BASE ATTACK BONUS [BAB]: +0  
BASIC MELEE ATTACK: +1  
BASIC RANGED ATTACK: +0  
COMBAT MANEUVER BONUS [CMB]: +1  
COMBAT MANEUVER DEFENCE [CMD]: 11

SAVES  
FORTITUDE: +3  
REFLEX: +0  
WILL: +4

[WEAPONS/ATTACKS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_weapon-descriptions)  
[SAWTOOTH SABRE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_sawtooth-sabre) \- This weapon counts as “light" for the purposes of two-weapon fighting.  
[SHIELD BASH, LIGHT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/equipment.html#_shield-bash-attacks) \- Treat as “light" for the purposes of two-weapon fighting, and lose shield bonus to AC when used as a weapon.  
[DAGGER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_dagger) \- Can be thrown, range 10ft.

EQUIPMENT - [CARRYING CAPACITY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/additionalRules.html#_carrying-capacity) (STR 13)

EQUIPMENT - ITEM SLOTS  
CLOTHING: EXPLORER'S OUTFIT  
This set of clothes is for someone who never knows what to expect. It includes sturdy boots, a leather overtunic over a cloth skirt, a belt, a shirt, gloves and a cloak. The clothes have plenty of pockets (especially the cloak). The outfit also includes any extra accessories the character might need, such as a scarf or a wide-brimmed hat.

ARMOUR: STUDDED LEATHER ARMOUR  
+3 armour bonus, +5 max DEX bonus, -1 Armour Check Penalty, 15% Arcane Spell Failure Chance, LIGHT

SHIELD: LIGHT WOODEN SHIELD  
+1 shield bonus, -1 Armour Check Penalty, 5% Arcane Spell Failure Chance  
SPECIAL: The character can bash an opponent with a light shield. Used this way, a light shield is a martial bludgeoning weapon. For the purpose of penalties on attack rolls, treat a shield as a light weapon. If she uses her shield as a weapon, she loses its AC bonus until her next turn.

EQUIPMENT - POSSESSIONS  
Sabre (Sawtooth) 2lbs, Studded Leather Armour 20lbs, Shield (Light Wooden) 5lbs, Eyeglasses, Holy Symbol (Wooden), Dagger 1lb, Waterskin 4lbs

>BACKPACK, COMMON 2lbs (Capacity 60lbs)  
Tent (Small, 1 person) 20lbs, Bedroll 5lbs, Kit (Healer's) [This collection of bandages and herbs provides a +2 circumstance bonus on Heal checks. A healer's kit is exhausted after 10 uses] 1lb

>POUCH, BELT 0.5lbs (Capacity 10lbs)  
Flint and Steel, Whetstone 1lb, String/Twine [50ft] 0.5lbs, Sewing Needle  
Rations (Wandermeal) [x8] [Eating this tough, dried cake for over a week without other nutrients causes the eater to feel ill] 4lbs

TOTAL 65lbs (37lbs without backpack)

EQUIPMENT - MONEY  
9CP, 2SP, 3GP, 0PP  
OTHER:

SKILLS  
TRAINED  
+CRAFT(APPAREL) +4(1), +DIPLOMACY +6(1), +HEAL +6(1)

UNTRAINED  
ACROBATICS +0*, +APPRAISE +0, BLUFF +2, CLIMB +1*, +CRAFT +0, DISGUISE +2, ESCAPE ARTIST +0*, INTIMIDATE +2, PERCEPTION +2, PERFORM +2, RIDE +0*, +SENSE MOTIVE +2, STEALTH +0*, SURVIVAL +2, SWIM +1*  
(FLY +0*)

*Armour Check Penalty: Skill at –2 due to armour worn.  
+Class Skill

FEATS  
[ SELECTIVE CHANNELING [REQUIRES: CHA 13, CHANNEL ENERGY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_selective-channeling) (CAN EXCLUDE: 2)  
The character can choose whom to affect when she channels energy.

[RACIAL ABILITIES: DROW](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advancedRaceGuide/featuredRaces/drow.html#_drow-racial-traits)  
[DANCING LIGHTS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/dancingLights.html#_dancing-lights) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Drow can create up to four illusory lights and direct their motion.  
[DARKNESS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/darkness.html#_darkness) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Drow can touch an object and cause it to radiate a deep darkness that dims even magical light.  
[FAERIE FIRE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/faerieFire.html#_faerie-fire) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Drow can cause a person to glow with a pale fire that clings to them even if they are not otherwise visible.  
LANGUAGES - Drow begin play speaking Undercommon and High Elven. Drow with high Intelligence can choose bonus languages from the following: Common, Dark Folk, Draconic, Drow Sign Language, Dwarven, Gnome, Goblin or Infernal.

SPECIAL ABILITIES  
GODMARKED  
LEVEL 1:  
[HERO’S FORTUNE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/advancedNewRules.html#_hero's-fortune) \- Even at the start of her career, it was clear that the character had a chance at greatness, and her legend continues to grow with every adventure.  
[RENEWED STRENGTH](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/classes/core-classes/cleric/domains/3rd-party-publishers---domains/4-winds-fantasy-gaming---domains/renewal-domain) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (5 USES/DAY) – The character can cure her allies of exhaustion, fatigue, sickness and nausea with a touch.

CLASS FEATURES  
WEAPON AND ARMOUR PROFICIENCY: CLERIC  
Clerics are proficient with all simple weapons, light armour, medium armour, and shields (except tower shields). Clerics are also proficient with the favoured weapon of their deities (THE SYLPH OF SPACE favours the SAWTOOTH SABRE).

[CHANNEL ENERGY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/cleric.html#_channel-energy-cleric) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (5 USES/DAY, DC12)  
The cleric can channel positive energy through her holy symbol, choosing to either deal damage to undead creatures or to heal living creatures in a burst of holy power.

SPONTANEOUS CASTING  
The cleric can channel stored spell energy into healing spells that she hasn't prepared ahead of time. She can "lose" any prepared spell that is not an orison or domain spell in order to cast any cure spell of the same spell level or lower.

DOMAINS: [CHARM](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/cleric.html#_charm-domain) ([LOVE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/cleric.html#_love-subdomain)) AND [DEATH](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/cleric.html#_death-domain) ([UNDEAD](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/cleric.html#_undead-subdomain))  
DOMAIN POWERS: ADORATION [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (5 USES/DAY) – The cleric can attempt to thwart a single physical attack against her person.  
DOMAIN POWERS: [DEATH'S KISS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/cleric.html#_death%27s-kiss) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (5 USES/DAY) – The cleric can cause a creature to take on some of the traits of the undead with a touch.

SPELLS  
[CLERIC LEVEL 0](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/spell-lists-and-domains/spell-lists---cleric#p0) [3 Prepared, At Will] Save DC 12  
+MENDING – Makes minor repairs on an object.  
+SPARK – Ignites flammable objects.  
+STABILIZE – Cause a dying creature to stabilize.

[CLERIC LEVEL 1](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/spell-lists-and-domains/spell-lists---cleric#p1) [2/Day+1 Prepared] Save DC 13  
DOMAIN SPELLS:  
CHARM PERSON – Makes one person your friend.  
+CAUSE FEAR – One creature of 5HD or less flees for 1d4 rounds.  
  
+ABUNDANT AMMUNITION – Replaces nonmagical ammunition every round.  
+DEATHWATCH – Reveals how near death subjects within 30ft are.

* * *

JANE CROCKER [RANGER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/ranger.html#_ranger) ([URBAN RANGER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/ranger.html#_urban-ranger)) 1  
LAWFUL GOOD

TL:DR - A middling warrior with good tracking skills, whose abilities improve dramatically when the enemy is familiar.

[ ](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/0g4yvmlxnps6r8k/Jane%20Crocker.png?dl=0)

BASIC STATISTICS  
GENDER: Female  
HAIR/EYES: Black hair, blue eyes  
HOMELAND: City of Porthaven (Outer Ring)  
DEITY: The Maid of Life  
LANGUAGES: Common, High Elven, Celestial, Orc  
RACE: Tuatha (High Elf)

ATTRIBUTES  
STRENGTH: 15[+2]  
DEXTERITY: 15[+2]  
CONSTITUTION: 12[+1]  
INTELLIGENCE: 10[+0]  
WISDOM: 12[+1]  
CHARISMA: 10[+0]

HIT POINTS: 11/11  
HERO POINTS: 2/5  
INITIATIVE: +2  
BASE SPEED/S: 30ft (land)

ARMOUR CLASS [AC]: 16  
TOUCH AC: 12  
FLAT-FOOTED AC: 14

BASE ATTACK BONUS [BAB]: +1  
BASIC MELEE ATTACK: +3  
BASIC RANGED ATTACK: +3  
COMBAT MANEUVER BONUS [CMB]: +3  
COMBAT MANEUVER DEFENCE [CMD]: 15

SAVES  
FORTITUDE: +3  
REFLEX: +4  
WILL: +1

[WEAPONS/ATTACKS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_weapon-descriptions)  
[TRIDENT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_trident) \- This is a [brace](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/equipment.html#_brace) weapon. Can be thrown, range 10ft.  
[SHIELD BASH, LIGHT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/equipment.html#_shield-bash-attacks) \- Treat as “light" for the purposes of two-weapon fighting, and lose shield bonus to AC when used as a weapon.  
[DAGGER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_dagger) \- Can be thrown, range 10ft.

EQUIPMENT - [CARRYING CAPACITY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/additionalRules.html#_carrying-capacity) (STR 15)

EQUIPMENT - ITEM SLOTS  
CLOTHING: ARTISAN'S OUTFIT  
This outfit consists of a blouse with buttons, drawstring skirt, shoes, and a neat cloth cap. It also includes a cloth apron for carrying small items such as a money pouch.

ARMOUR: PORTHAVEN PARADE ARMOUR  
+3 armour bonus, +5 max DEX bonus, -1 Armour Check Penalty, 15% Arcane Spell Failure Chance, LIGHT  
SPECIAL: A character wearing a country's parade armour gains a +2 Circumstance bonus to Diplomacy and Intimidate checks to influence a person from that country.

SHIELD: LIGHT STEEL SHIELD  
+1 shield bonus, -1 Armour Check Penalty, 5% Arcane Spell Failure Chance  
SPECIAL: The character can bash an opponent with a light shield. Used this way, a light shield is a martial bludgeoning weapon. For the purpose of penalties on attack rolls, treat a shield as a light weapon. If she uses her shield as a weapon, she loses its AC bonus until her next turn.

EQUIPMENT - POSSESSIONS  
Trident 4lbs, Parade Armour 20lbs, Shield (Light Steel) 6lbs, Dagger 1lb, Waterskin 4lbs

>BACKPACK, MASTERWORK 4lbs (Capacity 60lbs)  
Bedroll 5lbs, Kit (Cooking) 2lbs, Rations (Trail) [x8] 8lb

>POUCH, BELT 0.5lbs (Capacity 10lbs)  
Flint and Steel, Manacles 2lbs, Map [+1 circumstance bonus on Survival checks made to navigate in the Greenweald Forest region] 2lbs

TOTAL 58.5lbs

EQUIPMENT - MONEY  
0CP, 9SP, 0GP, 0PP  
OTHER:

SKILLS  
TRAINED  
ACROBATICS +3(1)*, +CRAFT(COOKING) +4(1), DISGUISE +1(1), +KNOWLEDGE LOCAL +4(1), SENSE MOTIVE +5(1), +STEALTH +6(1)*, +SURVIVAL +5(1)

UNTRAINED  
+APPRAISE +0, BLUFF +0, +CLIMB +2*, CRAFT +0, +DIPLOMACY +0, ESCAPE ARTIST +2*, +HEAL +1, +INTIMIDATE +0, +PERCEPTION +1, PERFORM +0, +RIDE +2*, +SWIM +2*  
(FLY +2*)

*Armour Check Penalty: Skill at –2 due to armour worn.  
+Class Skill

FEATS  
[ COSMOPOLITAN](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/advancedFeats.html#_cosmopolitan) (APPRAISE AND DIPLOMACY)  
Living in large, exotic cities has put the character in touch with many diverse civilizations, cultures, and races.

[RACIAL ABILITIES: ELVEN](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advancedRaceGuide/coreRaces/elves.html#_elf-racial-traits)  
LANGUAGES - Tuatha begin play speaking Common and High Elven. Tuatha with high Intelligence scores can choose from the following: Celestial, Draconic, Gnoll, Gnome, Goblin, Orc, and Sylvan.

SPECIAL ABILITIES  
GODMARKED  
LEVEL 1:  
[HERO’S FORTUNE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/advancedNewRules.html#_hero's-fortune) \- Even at the start of her career, it was clear that the character had a chance at greatness, and her legend continues to grow with every adventure.  
[BINDING TIES](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/cleric.html#_binding-ties) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (3 USES/DAY) – The character can temporarily take the suffering as an ally onto herself, rendering them temporarily immune to the condition for a short time dependent on her character level.

CLASS FEATURES  
WEAPON AND ARMOUR PROFICIENCY: RANGER  
A ranger is proficient with all simple and martial weapons and with light armour, medium armour and shields (except tower shields).

[FAVOURED ENEMY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/ranger.html#_favored-enemy) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY] - HUMANOID (ELF)  
A ranger is better at attacking and damaging their favoured enemies. They spot them, track them, lie to them and understand them better, and know more about them than other similar creatures.

TRACK [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
A ranger is better at following or identifying tracks.

WILD EMPATHY [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
A ranger can communicate wordlessly with an animal, in the hope of making it more friendly towards the ranger and her allies.

SPELLS  
START AT LEVEL 4

* * *

JAKE ENGLISH [GUNSLINGER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/classes/gunslinger.html) ([PISTOLERO](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/classArchetypes/gunslinger.html#_pistolero-\(archetype\))) 1  
CHAOTIC GOOD

TL:DR - Decent mid-ranged combatant, has a weapon nobody else can use or even recognise.

[ ](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/gw150p77ytiw4jk/Jake%20English.png?dl=0)

BASIC STATISTICS  
GENDER: Male  
HAIR/EYES: Black hair, green eyes  
HOMELAND: Quartzkin Clanhold  
DEITY: The Page of Hope  
LANGUAGES: Common, High Elven, Dwarven  
RACE: Tuatha (High Elf)

ATTRIBUTES  
STRENGTH: 13[+1]  
DEXTERITY: 16[+3]  
CONSTITUTION: 10[+0]  
INTELLIGENCE: 10[+0]  
WISDOM: 15[+2]  
CHARISMA: 10[+0]

HIT POINTS: 10/10  
HERO POINTS: 2/5  
INITIATIVE: +3  
BASE SPEED/S: 30ft (land)

ARMOUR CLASS [AC]: 15  
TOUCH AC: 13  
FLAT-FOOTED AC: 12

BASE ATTACK BONUS [BAB]: +1  
BASIC MELEE ATTACK: +2  
BASIC RANGED ATTACK: +4  
COMBAT MANEUVER BONUS [CMB]: +2  
COMBAT MANEUVER DEFENCE [CMD]: 15

SAVES  
FORTITUDE: +2  
REFLEX: +5  
WILL: +2

[WEAPONS/ATTACKS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_firearms-table)  
[BATTERED GUNSLINGER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/classes/gunslinger.html#_gunsmith) [PISTOL](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/combat/firearms.html#_pistol) \- Ammunition 30 bullets, 20 black powder charges (both required to fire).

EQUIPMENT - [CARRYING CAPACITY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/additionalRules.html#_carrying-capacity) (STR 13)

EQUIPMENT - ITEM SLOTS  
CLOTHING: TRAVELLER'S OUTFIT  
This set of clothes consists of boots, wool breeches, a sturdy belt, a shirt with jacket, and an ample cloak with a hood.

ARMOUR: LEATHER ARMOUR  
+2 armour bonus, +6 max DEX bonus, -0 Armour Check Penalty, 10% Arcane Spell Failure Chance, LIGHT

EQUIPMENT - POSSESSIONS  
Battered Gunslinger Pistol 4lbs, Leather Armour 15lbs, Dagger 1lb, Waterskin 4lbs

>BACKPACK, MASTERWORK 4lbs (Capacity 60lbs)  
Tent (Small, 1 person) 20lbs, Bedroll 5lbs, Kit (Cooking) 2lbs, Rations (Trail) [x4] 4lb

>POUCH, BELT 0.5lbs (Capacity 10lbs)  
Flint and Steel, Gunsmith's Kit 2lb, Firearm Bullet [x30] [crafted at 10% cost] 0.5lbs, Compass 0.5lbs

>POWDER HORN 1lb (Capacity 10 x Black Powder)  
Black Powder [x10] [crafted at 10% cost]

>POWDER HORN 1lb (Capacity 10 x Black Powder)  
Black Powder [x10] [crafted at 10% cost]

TOTAL 54.5lbs

EQUIPMENT - MONEY  
0CP, 9SP, 42GP, 0PP  
OTHER:

SKILLS  
TRAINED  
+ACROBATICS +7(1)*, +CLIMB +5(1)*, +CRAFT(ALCHEMY) +4(1), KNOWLEDGE DUNGEONEERING +1(1), LINGUISTICS +1(1)

UNTRAINED  
APPRAISE +0, +BLUFF +0, CRAFT +0, DIPLOMACY +0, DISGUISE +0, ESCAPE ARTIST +3*, +HEAL +2, +INTIMIDATE +0, +PERCEPTION +2, PERFORM +0, +RIDE +3*, SENSE MOTIVE +2, STEALTH +3*, +SURVIVAL +2, +SWIM +1*  
(FLY +3*)

*Armour Check Penalty: Skill at –0 due to armour worn.  
+Class Skill

FEATS  
[ RAPID RELOAD (PISTOL) [REQUIRES: WEAPON PROFICIENCY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/ultimateCombatFeats.html#_rapid-reload)  
The character can reload pistols quickly.

[RACIAL ABILITIES: ELVEN](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advancedRaceGuide/coreRaces/elves.html#_elf-racial-traits)  
LANGUAGES - Tuatha begin play speaking Common and High Elven. Tuatha with high Intelligence scores can choose from the following: Celestial, Draconic, Gnoll, Gnome, Goblin, Orc, and Sylvan.

SPECIAL ABILITIES  
GODMARKED  
LEVEL 1:  
[HERO’S FORTUNE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/advancedNewRules.html#_hero's-fortune) \- Even at the start of his career, it was clear that the character had a chance at greatness, and his legend continues to grow with every adventure.  
[HONOR BOUND](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/cleric.html#_honor-bound) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (3 USES/DAY) – The character can, with a touch, remind a creature of its duties and responsibilities and help them shake off an enchantment or compulsion. He can also attempt to shake off effects of this nature that have affected him.

CLASS FEATURES  
WEAPON AND ARMOUR PROFICIENCY: GUNSLINGER (PISTOLERO)  
Pistoleros are proficient with all simple and martial weapons, and with one-handed firearms. They are proficient with all light armour.

[GUNSMITH](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/classes/gunslinger.html#_gunsmith) (PISTOLERO)  
A gunslinger has a battered pistol, which only he knows how to properly use. To anyone else, the gun seems to be broken.

FEAT: [GUNSMITHING](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/ultimateCombatFeats.html#_gunsmithing)  
The character knows the secrets of repairing and restoring firearms.

[GRIT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/classes/gunslinger.html#_grit) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY] (2/2)  
Gunslingers make their mark upon the world with their grit, which they use to accomplish daring deeds (see below).

[DEEDS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/classes/gunslinger.html#_deeds)  
1\. [UP CLOSE AND DEADLY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/classArchetypes/gunslinger.html#_up-close-and-deadly) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
2\. [GUNSLINGER'S DODGE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/classes/gunslinger.html#_gunslinger%27s-dodge) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
3\. [QUICK CLEAR](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/classes/gunslinger.html#_quick-clear) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]

* * *

ROXY LALONDE [WIZARD](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/wizard.html#_wizard) 1  
CHAOTIC GOOD

TL:DR - Student of the magical arts, specialising in illusions and not very good with necromancy or divination. Has a cat-shaped familiar.

[ ](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/e0o1k253sk5wgj1/Roxy%20Lalonde.png?dl=0)

BASIC STATISTICS  
GENDER: Female  
HAIR/EYES: Blonde hair, pink eyes  
HOMELAND: City of Porthaven (Temple District)  
DEITY: The Rogue of Void  
LANGUAGES: Common, Celestial, High Elven, Draconic  
RACE: Aasimar

ATTRIBUTES  
STRENGTH: 10[+0]  
DEXTERITY: 13[+1]  
CONSTITUTION: 14[+2]  
INTELLIGENCE: 15[+2]  
WISDOM: 10[+0]  
CHARISMA: 14[+2]

HIT POINTS: 9/9  
HERO POINTS: 1/3  
INITIATIVE: +1  
BASE SPEED/S: 30ft (land)

ARMOUR CLASS [AC]: 11(15)  
TOUCH AC: 11  
FLAT-FOOTED AC: 10(14)

BASE ATTACK BONUS [BAB]: +0  
BASIC MELEE ATTACK: +0  
BASIC RANGED ATTACK: +1  
COMBAT MANEUVER BONUS [CMB]: +0  
COMBAT MANEUVER DEFENCE [CMD]: 11

SAVES  
FORTITUDE: +2  
REFLEX: +1  
WILL: +2

[WEAPONS/ATTACKS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_weapon-descriptions)  
[UNARMED](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_improved-unarmed-strike) [STRIKE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/combat.html#_unarmed-strike-damage)  
[CROSSBOW, LIGHT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_light-crossbow) – 20 ammunition  
[DAGGER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_dagger) \- Can be thrown, range 10ft.

EQUIPMENT - [CARRYING CAPACITY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/additionalRules.html#_carrying-capacity) (STR 10)

EQUIPMENT - ITEM SLOTS  
CLOTHING: SCHOLAR'S OUTFIT  
Perfect for a scholar, this outfit includes a robe, a belt, a cap, soft shoes and a cloak.

EQUIPMENT - POSSESSIONS  
Crossbow (Light) 4lbs, Bolts (Crossbow) [x20] 2lb, Signet Ring, Dagger 1lb, Waterskin 4lbs

>POUCH, SPELL COMPONENTS 2lbs

>POUCH, BELT 0.5lbs (Capacity 10lbs)  
Drink (Wine, Fine) [Bottle] 1.5lbs, Ink (Black) [1oz. Vial], Inkpen

TOTAL 15lbs

EQUIPMENT - MONEY  
0CP, 9SP, 0GP, 0PP  
OTHER:

SKILLS  
TRAINED  
+BLUFF +6(1), +KNOWLEDGE ARCANA +6(1), +SPELLCRAFT +6(1), +STEALTH +8(1)*

UNTRAINED  
ACROBATICS +1*, +APPRAISE +2, CLIMB +0*, +CRAFT +2, DIPLOMACY +2, +DISGUISE +2, ESCAPE ARTIST +1*, HEAL +0, INTIMIDATE +2, PERCEPTION +2(4), PERFORM +2, RIDE +1*, SENSE MOTIVE +2(4), SURVIVAL +2, SWIM +0*  
(+FLY +1*)

*Armour Check Penalty: Skill at –0 due to armour worn.  
+Class Skill

FEATS  
[ARCANE STRIKE [REQUIRES: ARCANE SPELLCASTING]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_arcane-strike)  
The character draws upon her arcane power to enhance her weapons with magical energy.

[RACIAL ABILITIES: AASIMAR](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advancedRaceGuide/featuredRaces/aasimars.html#_aasimar-racial-traits)  
AASIMARS DO NOT COUNT AS OUTSIDERS FOR THE PURPOSE OF THIS SETTING.  
[DAYLIGHT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/daylight.html#_daylight) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Aasimars can touch an object and cause it to shed a brilliant light which drives back even magical darkness.  
LANGUAGES – Aasimars begin play speaking Common and Celestial. Aasimars with high Intelligence scores can choose any of the following bonus languages: Draconic, Dwarven, High Elven, Gnome, Halfling, and Sylvan.

SPECIAL ABILITIES  
GODMARKED  
LEVEL 1:  
[IMPROVED UNARMED STRIKE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_improved-unarmed-strike) \- The character is skilled at fighting while unarmed.  
[COPYCAT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/cleric.html#_trickery-domain) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (5 USES/DAY) – The character can briefly, dependent on her character level, create an illusory double of herself to distract or mislead others.  
EXTRA – Bluff, Disguise and Stealth are class skills.

CLASS FEATURES  
WEAPON AND ARMOUR PROFICIENCY: WIZARD  
Wizards are proficient with the club, dagger, heavy crossbow, light crossbow, and quarterstaff, but not with any type of armour or shield. Armour interferes with a wizard's movements, which can cause her spells with somatic components to fail.

[ARCANE BOND](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/wizard.html#_arcane-bond) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]: [FAMILIAR](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/wizard.html#_familiars) (FRIGGLISH, [CAT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/monsters/familiar.html#_cat))  
Grants his master a +3 bonus on Stealth checks.  
If a familiar is dismissed, lost, or dies, it can be replaced 1 week later though a specialised ritual that costs 200gp per wizard level. The ritual takes 8 hours to complete.  
HIT POINTS: 4 HIT DICE: 1  
SIZE: Tiny REACH: 0ft SPEED: 30ft  
STR 3[-4], DEX 15[+2], CON 8[-1], INT 6[-2], WIS 12[+1], CHA 7[-2]  
ATTACK:  
BAB: +0 ATTACK: BITE +2 (1d3-4), CLAWS[x2] +2 (1d2-4)  
CMB: +0  
DEFENCE:  
AC: 15 (Natural Armour +1)  
CMD: 8 (12 vs. trip)  
SAVES: FORT 1, REF 4, WILL 1  
SKILLS:  
Climb 6, Perception 5, Stealth 14 (use master's skill ranks if better)  
FEATS:  
[Weapon Finesse](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_weapon-finesse)  
SPECIAL ABILITIES:  
[Low-Light Vision](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/glossary.html#_low-light-vision), [Scent](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/glossary.html#_scent), [Empathic Link](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/wizard.html#_familiar-empathic-link), [Improved Evasion](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/wizard.html#_familiar-improved-evasion), [Share Spells](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/wizard.html#_familiar-share-spells)

ARCANE SCHOOL: [ILLUSION](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/wizard.html#_illusion-school)  
OPPOSITION SCHOOLS: [NECROMANCY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/wizard.html#_necromancy-school), [DIVINATION](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/wizard.html#_divination-school)  
A wizard that chooses to specialise in one school of magic must select two opposition schools whose spells are harder for them to cast, but they gain the ability to cast an additional spell from their school each day and related school powers.  
1\. EXTENDED ILLUSIONS [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY]  
2\. BLINDING RAY [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (5 USES/DAY)

FEAT: [SCRIBE SCROLL](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_scribe-scroll)  
The character can create magic scrolls.

FEAT: [ALERTNESS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_alertness) [REQUIRES: FAMILIAR WITHIN ARM'S REACH]  
The character often notices things that others might miss when her familiar is nearby.

SPELLS  
LEVEL 0 [3 Prepared, At Will] Save DC 12  
+(ILLU) GHOST SOUND – Figment sounds.  
+(TRANS) MESSAGE – Whisper conversation at distance.  
+(UNIV) PRESTIDIGITATION – Performs minor tricks.

WIZARD CANTRIPS KNOWN: [RESISTANCE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/resistance.html#_resistance), [ACID SPLASH](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/acidSplash.html#_acid-splash), [DRENCH](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/rare-cantrips), [DAZE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/daze.html#_daze), [BREEZE](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/rare-cantrips), [DANCING LIGHTS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/dancingLights.html#_dancing-lights), [FLARE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/flare.html#_flare), [LIGHT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/light.html#_light), [PENUMBRA](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/rare-cantrips), [RAY OF FROST](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/rayOfFrost.html#_ray-of-frost), [SCOOP](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/rare-cantrips), [SPARK](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/spells/spark.html#_spark-), [GHOST SOUND](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/ghostSound.html#_ghost-sound), [HAUNTED FEY ASPECT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/spells/hauntedFeyAspect.html#_haunted-fey-aspect), [JOLT](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/rare-cantrips), [MAGE HAND](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/mageHand.html#_mage-hand), [MENDING](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/mending.html#_mending), [MESSAGE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/message.html#_message), [OPEN/CLOSE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/openClose.html#_open-close), [ROOT](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/rare-cantrips), [ARCANE MARK](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/arcaneMark.html#_arcane-mark), [PRESTIDIGITATION](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/prestidigitation.html#_prestidigitation)

LEVEL 1 [2/Day+1 Prepared] Save DC 13  
SCHOOL SPELL (ILLUSION):  
+(ILLU)ILLUSION OF CALM – You appear to be standing still, even when you take some actions.  
+(CONJ) MAGE ARMOUR – Gives subject +4 armour bonus.  
+(ENCH)CHARM PERSON – Makes one person your friend.

WIZARD FIRST-LEVEL SPELLS KNOWN: [MAGE ARMOUR](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/mageArmor.html#_mage-armor), [ILLUSION OF CALM](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/spells/illusionOfCalm.html#_illusion-of-calm), [MAGIC AURA](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/magicAura.html#_magic-aura), [SHADOW WEAPON](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spells/shadowWeapon.html#_shadow-weapon), [CHARM PERSON](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/charmPerson.html#_charm-person)

* * *

DIRK STRIDER [BARD](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/bard.html#_bard) ([SOUND STRIKER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spellcastingClassOptions/bard.html#_sound-striker-\(archetype\))) 1  
NEUTRAL GOOD

TL:DR - Jack of all trades, knower of all things, supporter of all allies, and also he can kill you with his voice.

[ ](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/cjqjmvmxxp30yek/Dirk%20Strider.png?dl=0)

BASIC STATISTICS  
GENDER: Male  
HAIR/EYES: Blonde hair, orange eyes  
HOMELAND: City of Porthaven (No Fixed Abode)/The Greenweald Forest Region (No Fixed Abode)  
DEITY: The Prince of Heart  
LANGUAGES: Common, Celestial, High Elven, Dwarven  
RACE: Aasimar

ATTRIBUTES  
STRENGTH: 13[+1]  
DEXTERITY: 12[+1]  
CONSTITUTION: 10[+0]  
INTELLIGENCE: 14[+2]  
WISDOM: 10[+0]  
CHARISMA: 17[+3]

HIT POINTS: 8/8  
HERO POINTS: 1/3  
INITIATIVE: +1  
BASE SPEED/S: 30ft (land)

ARMOUR CLASS [AC]: 13  
TOUCH AC: 11  
FLAT-FOOTED AC: 12

BASE ATTACK BONUS [BAB]: +0  
BASIC MELEE ATTACK: +1  
BASIC RANGED ATTACK: +1  
COMBAT MANEUVER BONUS [CMB]: +1  
COMBAT MANEUVER DEFENCE [CMD]: 12

SAVES  
FORTITUDE: +0  
REFLEX: +3  
WILL: +2

[WEAPONS/ATTACKS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/combat/easternArmorAndWeapons.html#_table-eastern-weapons-exotic)  
[KATANA](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_katana) – This is a [deadly](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/combat/easternArmorAndWeapons.html#_deadly) weapon.  
[DAGGER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_dagger) \- Can be thrown, range 10ft.

EQUIPMENT - [CARRYING CAPACITY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/additionalRules.html#_carrying-capacity) (STR 13)

EQUIPMENT - ITEM SLOTS  
CLOTHING: ENTERTAINER'S OUTFIT + MASK  
This set of flashy- perhaps even gaudy- clothes is for entertaining. While the outfit looks whimsical, its practical design lets the character tumble, dance, walk a tightrope, or just run if the audience turns ugly. The mask is made from painted, varnished wood and cloth; it is ornate, gaudy even- a cheaper and more practical imitation of what a nobleman might wear to a masquerade ball.

ARMOUR: LEATHER ARMOUR  
+2 armour bonus, +6 max DEX bonus, -0 Armour Check Penalty, 10% Arcane Spell Failure Chance, LIGHT

EQUIPMENT - POSSESSIONS  
Katana 6lbs, Leather Armour 15lbs, Clothing (Mask, 3gp) 1lb, Dagger 1lb, Waterskin 4lbs

>BACKPACK, COMMON 2lbs (Capacity 60lbs)  
Tent (Small, 1 person) 20lbs, Bedroll 5lbs, Kit (Juggler's) 10lbs, Rations (Wandermeal) [x20] [Eating this tough, dried cake for over a week without other nutrients causes the eater to feel ill] 10lbs

>POUCH, BELT 0.5lbs (Capacity 10lbs)  
Flint and Steel, Whetstone 1lb

TOTAL 75.5lb

EQUIPMENT - MONEY  
8CP, 6SP, 9GP, 0PP  
OTHER:

SKILLS  
TRAINED  
+APPRAISE +6(1), +BLUFF +7(1), +DIPLOMACY +7(1), +INTIMIDATE +7(1), +KNOWLEDGE LOCAL +7(1), +PERCEPTION +4(1), +PERFORM(SHARP RHYMES) +7(1), +PERFORM(SWEET MOVES) +7(1), +SENSE MOTIVE +4(1)

UNTRAINED  
+ACROBATICS +1*, +CLIMB +1*, +CRAFT +2, +DISGUISE +3, +ESCAPE ARTIST +1*, HEAL +0, +KNOWLEDGE ARCANA +3, +KNOWLEDGE DUNGEONEERING +3, +KNOWLEDGE ENGINEERING +3, +KNOWLEDGE GEOGRAPHY +3, +KNOWLEDGE HISTORY +3, +KNOWLEDGE NATURE +3, +KNOWLEDGE NOBILITY +3, +KNOWLEDGE PLANES +3, +KNOWLEDGE RELIGION +3, +PERFORM +3, RIDE +1*, +STEALTH +1*, SURVIVAL +0, SWIM +1*  
(FLY +1*)

*Armour Check Penalty: Skill at –0 due to armour worn.  
+Class Skill

FEATS  
[SPELLSONG [REQUIRES: CHA 13, BARDIC PERFORMANCE, 1st-LEVEL SPELLCASTING]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/ultimateMagicFeats.html#_spellsong)  
The character can blend the power of his performance and spellcasting.

[RACIAL ABILITIES: AASIMAR](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advancedRaceGuide/featuredRaces/aasimars.html#_aasimar-racial-traits)  
AASIMARS DO NOT COUNT AS OUTSIDERS FOR THE PURPOSE OF THIS SETTING.  
[DAYLIGHT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/daylight.html#_daylight) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Aasimars can touch an object and cause it to shed a brilliant light which drives back even magical darkness.  
LANGUAGES – Aasimars begin play speaking Common and Celestial. Aasimars with high Intelligence scores can choose any of the following bonus languages: Draconic, Dwarven, High Elven, Gnome, Halfling, and Sylvan.

SPECIAL ABILITIES  
GODMARKED  
LEVEL 1:  
WEAPON PROFICIENCY (KATANA)  
[DESTRUCTIVE SMITE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/cleric.html#_destruction-domain) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (6 USES/DAY)– The character can do more damage on a single melee attack, dependent on his character level. 

CLASS FEATURES  
WEAPON AND ARMOUR PROFICIENCY: BARD  
A bard is proficient with all simple weapons, plus the longsword, rapier, sap, shortsword, shortbow and whip. Bards are also proficient with light armour and shields (except tower shields). A bard can cast bard spells while wearing light armour and using a shield without incurring the normal arcane spell failure chance. Like any other arcane spellcaster, a bard wearing medium or heavy armour incurs a chance of arcane spell failure is the spell in question has a somatic component. A multiclass bard still incurs the normal arcane spell failure chance for arcane spells received from other classes.

BARDIC KNOWLEDGE [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
A bard has a little knowledge in all areas, and learns more as he becomes more experienced.

[BARDIC PERFORMANCE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/bard.html#_bardic-performance) (7 ROUNDS/DAY)  
A bard can create magical effects around him, so long as he is able to keep performing. He can make use of the following abilities when he performs, so long as he can be seen and/or heard by those he wishes to affect.  
1\. COUNTERSONG [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY]  
2\. DISTRACTION [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY]  
3\. FASCINATE [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (TARGETS 1)  
4\. INSPIRE COURAGE [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY]

SPELLS  
LEVEL 0 [At Will] Save DC 13  
[MESSAGE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/message.html#_message), [PRESTIDIGITATION](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/prestidigitation.html#_prestidigitation), [SIFT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/spells/sift.html#_sift), [UNWITTING ALLY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/spells/unwittingAlly.html#_unwitting-ally)

LEVEL 1 [2/Day] Save DC 14  
[CHORD OF SHARDS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spells/chordOfShards.html#_chord-of-shards), [TIMELY INSPIRATION](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/spells/timelyInspiration.html#_timely-inspiration)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those who know d20: I have invented the Godmarks, they are based on Domains, don't start asking me what book I got them from or something. I also made up Sollux's race. When wondering where skill points or hit points came from, remember that Pathfinder gives +1 skill point or +1 hit point as a favoured class bonus.
> 
> Additionally, I looked very carefully at the aging table for elves, and reached the conclusion that elven aging is VERY, VERY STUPID. I will be mostly ignoring it in favour of whatever the hell I feel like: since none of the characters are likely to go up an age category naturally in the course of the story, I don't think it matters, and it means I get to make up weird elven lifecycles! If you really feel the need to know, then assume elves in this setting age like half-elves in the core rules.
> 
> Also, I am the GM. RULE ONE, BITCHES!
> 
> EDIT: I no longer made up Sollux's race. He should now be a rules-compliant (if unusual) Half-Elf.


	4. ==> Karkat: Time's A-Wastin', Get On With It Already!

## ==> Karkat: Time's A-Wastin', Get On With It Already!

The Kutsanmis family enclave is towards the centre of the city, where the scum like you are theoretically kept at bay by the ever-vigilant Eyes of the Law. Fortunately you've had more than enough practise at getting through the Inner Ring unseen; those overfed cave slugs are too busy examining their own navels to keep an eye on every entrance and exit, and as usual you can trudge through the thick sludge coating the riverbank to your heart's content. Here and there fragments of paving remain, tumbledown structures a testament to an earlier time when the rich and powerful of the city had used the waterways as a means of travel and fun. Fucking idiots never realised that a thriving alchemical industry slap-bang in the middle of the city was going to turn their playground into a toxic waste dump. You'd be viciously satisfied at their loss if it wasn't for the fact that you grew up drinking that shit. Everyone you know boils their water unless they have a death wish, but that doesn't stop it from occasionally glowing, or tasting like something died in it, came back to life, and then died in it again. You're probably not going to reach old age before you expire from Engelbert's Luminescent Shitfever or Galloping Demonbreath Arcane Vomitstorm or some equally disgusting magical beetleshit that you just made up right now.

At any rate, the riverbank is a good way to get past the Lawkeepers and the House Guards, and you're not the only one to have been using it for years. The nobility would probably have a fit if they knew how easy it was for the likes of you to get into their precious walled compounds, and you can't help but feel deeply satisfied every time you break into the Kutsanmis enclave over the remains of their own past decadence. You eye it now, your old foe, a crumbling edifice that might once have been a small boathouse built into the outer wall. The interior is a lost cause, not even enough space between the tumbled stones to squeeze a rat, but you don't give a shit. You're not going through the ruins of the boathouse. You're going over it.

Long practise guides your hands to the stable holds and you swarm up the side of the cool black rock. You glance about to check that you are unobserved before you carefully lower yourself over the edge and let go, dropping the fifteen feet to the ground below. You don't so much land as crash, letting out a pained howl as you overbalance and slam hard into the cracked flagstones. Something internal makes a sick little crunching sound and you roll onto your back, cradling your aching face in your hands and whimpering like a useless hatchling for a few moments before you remember that noise draws attention, genius. You're up like a shot and lurking in the shadow of the wall, but there are no cries of alarm, no watchful guards or curious servants wandering in your direction. With a sigh of relief you wipe a dribble of blood off your upper lip, glaring at the boathouse that once again has almost proved your undoing. Shit like this is why you're not a burglar. That and the fact that you know fuck all about locks, but as far as you're concerned that's a completely idiotic way to steal anyway. So what if those smug pricks can lift purses and walk off with diamonds and have the original owner none the wiser? All their fancy fingerwork doesn't do shit for them when some pushy asshole decides it's easier to rob the robbers than steal from someone with bodyguards the size of half-giants and the might of the law on their side.

Slumped against the wall, you take a breather and remind yourself that it could be worse. The boathouse isn't your only way into this place; in the past, when you've thought you can get away with it, Gamzee's sent guards to fetch you. Gets them to come all the way to the Shanties and drag you in too, sometimes, when he gets his stupid pesh-filled head worried or confused or starts panicking and decides he needs you _now_. They don't ask questions but you know from the way they look at you what they think. You know you're not the only visitor they bring, and you know what Gamzee does with his days when you're not there, but fuck you want to gut the assholes when they sneer and judge and look down on you and you are utterly, completely, irrevocably certain that none of those leering shit-for-brains have ever had to risk their necks on a daily basis just so they can eat.

Avoiding those stares is why you started coming in over the boathouse in the first place, but today things are going to be even more hideously unpleasant than usual. Normally you would sneak into the dark, narrow corridors that the slaves use to move invisibly through the compound, and rely on the almost pathological disdain of the higher orders of society for their lessers to keep you safe on the journey to Gamzee's tower rooms. In the middle of preparations for a marriage, though, security will be tight. You don't fancy being turned into a pincushion by dozens of jumpy House Kutsanmis Guards, so you're going to be using the plan you and Gamzee came up with together. Even if it is thoroughly disgusting and you are going to hate yourself for ever even considering the idea, let alone suggesting it in the first place.

Gamzee's tower isn't far; you think it was originally built to have a view of the river, back in the days when that was a good thing. Now it's a dusty spire in a forgotten corner, dwarfed by the spiralling towers nearer the centre of the House compound and as wasted and decayed as the scenery it overlooks. It's useful only as a dumping ground for something the family wants to forget and you feel your blood boil in sympathetic rage for your soul-brother. At least you've always had the freedom to leave your own personal shithole and stare at all the things you're not allowed to have. At least you always had someone who cared, someone who thought you were worth something just for being you. As awful as that makes you feel when you remember what you must have cost her, you're glad you had your mother. All Gamzee ever had was the two of you, and for someone born a step shy of royalty you don't think you can imagine something more pathetically tragic.

Now it's just you and him, and you are not going to lose each other, which is why you are even contemplating the pure holy font of dwarf piss that is this plan. You talked about this, lying on his couch with your head in his lap while he played with your hair and hummed made-up lullabies that didn't mean a thing. If his evil viper of a mother succeeds in her plot to get him married off, then the best-case scenario is that he gets locked up in a smaller tower by another heartless viper with less money to keep him high and happy, in a city so far away that you don't have a hope in the hells of following him there. Worst case... you don't even want to contemplate. You've seen enough of the shit that people will do to each other, and with your stupid cursed marks neither of you exactly draws sympathy and kindness from others. And whatever happens to Gamzee, you end up living out your days in the Shanties and becoming increasingly bitter and empty until you eventually die one of the hundreds of colourful, fascinating and above all premature deaths available to the Casteless.

No, fuck that shit. If you're going out, you're going out together and you're going out fighting. Or running. Whatever. The point is that you're not just letting this happen. The pair of you are going to fight fate and if the bitch wants to screw you, she'll have to do it fast.

You smell your destination before you see it, a strong wafting aroma of piss and shit that would make you gag if you weren't used to worse. There's still nobody around and you feel your skin crawl as you make your way across the empty ground, scurrying from the shelter of the wall to the shadow of the tower like a bug running from under an upturned rock. Your luck isn't this good; the world's just waiting for a chance to give you a lovely big sucker-punch in the teeth. You can almost hear the stones fucking snickering at you.

It's not until you're fairly close that you can make out the faint, rounded outline worked into the smooth stone of the tower, the shaft you intend to climb smoothed and blended into its surroundings until only the dark opening at the base remains. You take a deep breath and hold it before you step through the cleft in the tower wall, but the stench still hits you full force. It's been cleaned out lately, but you're standing at the bottom of a privy shaft, and there is no possible way for you to forget that you are literally ankle-deep in crap.

Your eyes adjust to the deeper darkness quickly, and you smile grimly as you see the knotted rope dangling against the wall. If you were the praying sort, you would thank the heavens that Gamzee pulled his head out of his ass long enough to remember to put it there. As it is, you refrain from mentally cursing the gods when your foot slips on something slick and squelchy, and try not to think about what you get on your hands when you catch yourself on the wall.

Climbing at least is simple enough. Between the rope and the narrowness of the shaft, you're practically taking an evening stroll. There are a few indents in the wall along the way, various indoor privies on the floors you pass, and you scowl as you think bitter thoughts about people who can afford to shit into a pre-built hole and have someone come to haul the excrement away. Gamzee is on the top floor, so you have plenty of time to work yourself into an utterly foul mood by the time you reach the top.

Pushing yourself away from the far wall of the shaft with your legs, you reach out and shove the top of the privy up with one arm, grabbing the edge of the bench and hauling yourself after it. You emerge crouching in a round stone room, plain and windowless and decorated with heavy purple tapestries on the walls. As you straighten you catch a flash of teal out of the corner of your eye: a lifetime of instinct takes over and you whirl, drawing your sickles and hooking one around the leg of the stranger. It's only as she hits the floor with a heavy thud that your brain catches up with a scream of _LAWKEEPER!_

You don't have time to wonder why she was lurking in the privy as she lashes out with her narrow blade, trying to tangle your legs. She misses by a mile but you only put her down, not out, and she's already getting to her feet. You wait the half-heartbeat it takes for her to be upright, then lunge forward and knock her down again. You're still aching from your fall earlier so you don't want to get in a real fight, but _shit_ , she's seen you, you're already screwed. You have to get to Gamzee, get the pair of you out of here right fucking now.

You turn to run for the door but you don't get a single step before something slams into the back of your knees and knocks you off balance. For a breathless moment you're on the floor only inches away from the Lawkeeper, staring wide-eyed at her tinted red eyeglasses and newly dishevelled hair, and then you're scrambling to your feet again. This time you keep your eyes on her as you back up towards the door, and so you see her wide, manic grin as she gets to her feet. Your back bumps into the burnished metal, the handle digging into the small of your back, and you tighten your grip on your weapons as she strides across the small chamber towards you, easily closing the distance.

The moment she's in reach you lunge, swiping with both sickles. You don't think she's used to fighting opponents with two weapons, because she ducks away from the one strike right into the path of the second. You catch a weak point in her standard-issue armour and score a deep gash under her sword-arm, narrowly missing anything vital. Her riposte is clumsy and clatters against the wall near your head. You swipe at her again with one hand while you fumble for the door handle with the other, stumbling back half a step as the portal opens. Your strike is deflected harmlessly by her bracers and your opponent cackles.

“Go ahead, strike as often as you like,” she says, tilting her head so you're staring straight at those blank eyeglasses. “Because no matter where you run now, you're caught, little ratling!”

The conviction in her words is so strong that for a moment you almost falter, but then you remember that so far you've been wiping the floor with her ass and Gamzee is still counting on you. Rather than answer, you turn and bolt, wrenching your arm out of the uncertain grip she manages to get on you to flee into a far larger room lavishly furnished with couches and cushions. The air in here smells of incense and drugged smoke, and despite everything your heart leaps in your chest when you see Gamzee entering from the door opposite.

“INTRUDER IN THE CHAMBERS!” your pursuer yells, and you curse, turning to watch her and her wicked blade as you draw back towards your puzzled brother. She hisses and raises her sword to point at you, not stopping in her relentless approach, and you wonder how much longer this can last.

Not much it seems, because the third door, the one to the outer chambers, opens to admit an alarmed House Kutsanmis Guard. He levels his crossbow at you, joined only moments later by a second Kutsanmis Guard and a pair of Lawkeeper Eyes who followed them in. You glance between your opponents, and the first Lawkeeper laughs, a harsh bark which sounds far too happy for someone who is fucking bleeding from the armpit.

“Surrender now,” she demands, smiling triumphantly at you. “I can't promise we'll go easy, but...” she waves a hand to the crossbows- “don't think we're going to let this kill you if you give us trouble.”

A long-fingered hand, cool and soft, presses against the small of your back. You don't have to look to see Gamzee there behind you, and as you meet the Lawkeeper's gaze you can see the faint furrow on her brow. Of course. They won't want to risk firing at you when you're so close to the person they're meant to be guarding; Gamzee's presence has given you a few moments of grace to come up with a plan.

You take a deep breath and prepare to do the only thing you can think of that might stand the faintest, most incorporeal ghost of a chance of getting you out of this mess alive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [System Notes](http://celynbrum.tumblr.com/post/59697455844/lodad-system-notes-chapter-4)
> 
> Suggestion for this chapter provided by MASK. Thank you MASK!
> 
> This story is suggestion-based: offer up a suggestion of the "Somebody: Do something" format and I'll pick the most popular/most interesting/only idea. The story needs suggestions to continue, so don't be shy! :)
> 
> EDIT:  
> Moved the system stuff (results of this chapter's rolls, for your consideration) up into the chapter. I did say that "I am not gonna paste this stuff for every chapter, it would be waaay too long" but since I seem to be producing it as a by-product anyway I figure it isn't actually too hard to put in there. ;)
> 
> EDIT 2:  
> Moved the notes from the top of the chapter to the bottom, and farmed system notes out to Tumblr.


	5. ==> Terezi: Apprehend This Mysterious Felon, Before He Causes More Trouble!

## ==> Terezi: Apprehend This Mysterious Felon, Before He Causes More Trouble!

From the moment the intruder first draws close to the Kutsanmis boy, you know two things. First, you're now fully convinced that he isn't the assassin you're expecting. You'd suspected as much when you first saw him- nobody with the money to go after a member of a noble house would hire a cutthroat from the Shanties- but the way he ignored his supposed target to stay clear of you spoke volumes as to his priorities. Most likely what you have here is a thief with bad timing, although the means of his entrance still bothers you. Someone had to put that rope there for you to find and him to climb, and you intend to know who, but that investigation will have to wait because of the second, more pressing realisation you have arrived at.

You've screwed up.

Your training has taken you to the Shanties more often than you strictly care for and you know how the casteless think. They don't have anything to lose and although they'll generally try to run from a fight, they attack almost senselessly when cornered. If it was just you and your people, you wouldn't be too worried, even if this little ratling is pretty handy with those sickles. But like an idiot you've managed to back him into a corner with the individual you're meant to be protecting, and it doesn't matter that he's not an assassin because right now he's just as dangerous as one.

You surreptitiously raise your hand, hoping that the House Guards and the Lawkeepers are all decent shots, but before you can give the signal to fire the intruder's thought process seems to catch up with your own. Snarling, he steps back and to the side, grabbing your charge and holding the sharp blade of a sickle to the noble scion's neck. The Kutsanmis boy looks terrified through his drug haze, eyes wide and confused as he tugs uselessly at his captor. The casteless felon ignores the weak struggles of his hostage, holding the scion up like a shield and pointing his other sickle directly at you.

“Alright, listen up, you beetle-brained bluebellies,” he says, lips still curled in an animalistic snarl. “I, personally, have no interest whatsoever in slitting this pesh-head idiot's throat and leaving inconvenient stains all over this ridiculously expensive rug. I do however have some very fucking strong feelings on the subject of my blood, and it staying inside my body, so if you give a shit about him breathing you're going to let us go out that door there, and you're not going to fucking follow!”

He jerks his head towards the door to the reception room, where the guards were waiting only moments ago. From there he'd have a clear run to the courtyard below, and who knows what escape routes lead from there? You frown, trying to judge his intent and hoping like the hells that it's all a bluff. He meets your eyeglasses with a furious red-eyed gaze, and tenses his sickle hand ready. The scion whimpers in fear and you realise that there is nothing you can do but acquiesce.

“Step aside,” you order your Lawkeepers, and the two Eyes do smartly as they're told. The Kutsanmis Guards look at you in shock, and you jab with your sword at the patch of floor you want them to move to. “Unless you plan to explain to the Matriarch why you let a marauding intruder harm her son?” Any normal, rational person knows that a hostage is worth more alive, but he's from the Shanties and an angry little ratling at that. You're better off leaving him an exit until you can trap him properly. You hope you don't end up having to explain that reasoning to the Matriarch over her son's corpse.

You all watch him like a hawk as he drags the Kutsanmis boy across the room to the door, head snapping around to watch you all in turn as he passes. The fingers of the Guards are twitching on the hilts of their swords and you can't blame them because your own hands are itching to do something, anything. You fight the feeling, not daring to even move until the door clicks shut. Then you're over there, ear pressed to the smooth bronzed surface. If you hear anything that even sounds like it might be the scion's grisly murder, you will be in there in a heartbeat.

It's not the noise of death that greets you through the door, however, but instead the faint whisper of voices in the other room. You frown and wave your minions into silence, trying to make out the words.

_“... can't believe you left it here, you dicklicking moron, I told you to keep it close!”_

_“They were all up and searching everyplace for assassins and shit, best friend. This was the only place what I could put it where nobody was gonna motherfucking look.”_

_“Seer's shithole, Gamzee, and you left the fucking rope? Were you actually trying to get me quartered by the Eyes, or were you just frying your thinking matter so completely that you lost the capacity for even the vague imitation of rational thought you usually string together?”_

_“Oh hells, brother, I was so busy being thinking about the miracles of getting out of here that I didn't even think of that none...”_

You've heard enough. With a hiss of annoyance you slam the door open, sword at the ready, just in time to see the two of them absconding through the door opposite into the corridor. You have just long enough to see the Kutsanmis scion- Gamzee, his name is Gamzee- wearing a backpack and what looks like one of his own guard's crossbows before he slams the door shut and you're left having to chase after what are, you will admit, a very skilled pair of deceivers.

The tower is old, built in the days when Matriarchs feared assassins enough to kill their architect when the commissioned structure was complete. The passages are a maze of curving, snaking corridors that turn sharply and lead to apparent dead ends that then turn off into hidden walkways behind tapestries. Your Lawkeepers vanish after the intruder in moments, but fortunately your quarry doesn't seem much better at navigating the place than you are because as you emerge you see Gamzee pause uncertainly at the end of the hallway and turn back. He freezes when he realises he's been seen, and the Kutsanmis House Guards race past you to try and grab him. He slips away from one but the other gets a firm hold on the thrashing, panicking noble and for a moment you think he's caught.

Then like lightning the intruder appears again, and you knew he was good with those sickles but it still takes your breath away when he cuts down the Guard holding Gamzee with a single swipe. You're on him in an instant, sword flashing, but he steps easily aside from the blow even as you holler for one of your own followers to get back here and help the bleeding Guard.

One of your Lawkeepers rushes past you and you leave her to tend to the wounded man, following the remaining House Guard down a side passage that brings you to the spiral staircase at the same time as Gamzee and the intruder hurtle at full speed around the corner and start to pelt down the steps. Like the rest of the tower, they are treacherous with age, and you are forced to duck as you run to avoid hitting your head. You can see your quarry doing the same, and you curse as your remaining Lawkeeper slips on a stair whose surface has been worn smooth by generations of passing feet. You charge past her after the intruder, who is as sure-footed as you would have expected from seeing his earlier climb, and emerge into the back courtyard of the compound hot on the heels of your prey.

Gamzee is leading the chase, his rapid pace barely faltering even as the cook's foul-tempered canine jumps up and stretches its chain to bark at him. You encountered the dog earlier and you're amazed when the supposedly sheltered Kutsanmis son absently shooshes it back while barely breaking stride. You think that your assessment of him as docile and useless was probably the single biggest mistake of your career. At least whatever he did to the creature seems to hold as the rest of you hurtle past over the uneven, cracked flagstones of the courtyard and after him into the kitchens.

In preparation for the upcoming nuptials, the kitchens are a riot of activity. It's hard to see anything through the press of people, even as they start crying in alarm and trying to move aside, You see the disturbance in the flow of people where the two fugitives are muscling their way through the crowd, and attempt to follow in their wake only to find your way blocked by the sizeable bulk of the furious Head Cook.

“WHAT IN THE DEEPEST HELLS ARE YOU DOING IN MY KITCHEN!” he bellows over the uproar. You snarl and jab at him with your blade.

“Get out of my way or I'll have you hanged!” you yell, eyes narrowing at the man who dares impede the forces of law and justice. He seems to note the teal of your armour and flushes, stepping aside so that you can continue to shove your way past the startled servants and slaves around you. The remaining Kutsanmis House Guard seems to be having trouble making headway, but you can't afford to stop and help him. You need to stay on the chase, or else risk losing your targets.

You emerge from the kitchens into the feasting hall, which is being decorated by yet more servants. A glance shows that the two you're looking for are sticking to the shadows at the edge of the hall and remaining unnoticed. Presumably they're trying to avoid a commotion, and you feel the same. The last thing you want is for the people in the hall to panic, so you slip to the edge of the room and pass through unobtrusively.

Or you try to, at least, but for once your brilliantly coloured Lawkeeper armour isn't working in your favour. Heads turn as you pass, and as you reach the halfway point of the hall your way is blocked by a woman wearing high-quality servant's clothes in House Kutsanmis colours. From the way she's looking down her nose at you, you'd guess she's fairly high caste herself- most likely her kin have served the Kutsanmis House for generations, and consider themselves a few rungs above anyone who isn't the Family.

“I am sorry, but you cannot be in here,” she says, sounding not sorry at all. You crane your neck to look past her just in time to see the fugitives disappear through the door to the main courtyard and you frown.

“I'm just passing through,” you say, pointing to the door. She sniffs, a haughty affectation that makes you really, really want to arrest her for impeding an Initiate of the Seer.

“I am afraid you will have to turn back and go round,” she says, indicating the kitchen door behind you. You ignore her and try to step around, but to your shock she moves to block you, even going so far as to put a hand on your chest.

“It's the exact same distance!” you say, waving your sword emphatically at the distant door. “In fact, I'd be out of here already if you weren't standing in the way of the just pursuit of the law.”

The woman shrugs as if this is an entirely secondary consideration. “Things must be done the proper way,” she insists. Out of the corner of your eye you see the Kutsanmis House Guard creep past, taking advantage of the distraction to rejoin the pursuit, and your patience snaps.

“Then file a complaint with my order,” you say, roughly shoving her aside and charging for the door before she can summon a means to stop you. As you step out you hear a clattering sound and turn to see that your Lawkeeper has caught up, and rather than avoid the meddling servant by stealth has chosen to charge headlong across the feasting table. You chuckle as you emerge into the courtyard, only for your amusement to die as a ceramic pot whistles past you and strikes the wall next to the House Guard, shattering into dust and fragments.

There is a serious commotion amongst the traders out here as the ordinary citizens try to get away from the two fugitives, who are hemmed in by the carts and crates scattered everywhere. Gamzee is hovering protectively between you and the intruder, and his hand is reaching towards another pot; before you can fully assess the situation, the House Guard lets loose a crossbow bolt. The projectile grazes the casteless intruder's cheek and scores a bloody line, and you don't miss the way Gamzee Kutsanmis tenses when the thief hisses in suppressed pain. You dart off into the tangle of wheels and wedding goods, squeezing through to try and reach the mysterious felon as the Kutsanmis House Guard runs forward to grab Gamzee.

For a moment it seems that your ally has the scion caught, but then before you can reach him the other fugitive darts back and attacks. The swinging sickle goes wild but you find yourself wondering why he would try at all- he could have kept running, and if you're being honest he would have had a fighting chance to get clean away from you. Instead he's headed back into the thick of the chase to try and free his co-conspirator. This goes beyond some money-making scheme, or even simple friendship, and you make a mental note to get to the bottom of it later. Then Gamzee yells and tugs and pulls himself free of the House Guard's grasp, and you jump forward to try and grab the intruder as your Lawkeeper emerges from the feasting hall.

Too late you remember that your opponent's got his sickles out and is fighting; your reminder comes in the form of a lethal swipe across your throat. You know from how smooth it was that there's barely even a line marring your skin, but you can feel the deep throbbing pain of a serious wound. Slamming your hands to the injury you stare in shock at the panting, wide-eyed Shanties boy, feeling your heartbeat pounding through your fingers as you try to hold in your blood and fail. Ridiculously, you think how appropriate it is that his eyes are just the colour of blood- bright red, like brilliant little sugared fruits. The phrase cherry candy pops into your mind, and even though it's stupid because everyone's blood is the same colour it somehow fits him best of all.

Then the House Guard and the Lawkeeper both draw their swords and attack him at once. He dodges the first strike without even trying and stares in shock at the second blade that erupts through his belly, somehow sliding between the armoured plates of his coat and making short work of everything after. His mouth forms a surprised “O” and you think he looks almost _betrayed_ as he slides off the sword and falls unconscious to the ground, lying motionless in a spreading pool of his own blood. He's somehow still breathing, but you don't think he will be for long.

There is a growl.

You look over to see the Kutsanmis scion looking at the three of you with such hateful murder twisting his face that you would never, ever have guessed he was the same placid, pesh-addled boy you had been ordered to protect had you not seen the change happen before your eyes. One long-fingered hand reaches over to grab an ornate but heavy candlestick from a nearby crate and something about the way he moves is completely wrong. Its as if something else is the puppeteer of his body, something dark and demonic and more than anything else _furious_. You kind of want to run away, but you're too busy holding your throat together, so all you can do is watch as he slams the metal candlestick into the side of your Lawkeeper's head, visibly caving her skull in and dropping her like a stone. You stagger back a few steps and open your mouth, shouting hoarsely for assistance as the Kutsanmis House Guard, presumably acting out of some sort of faulty preconceived notion of how the boy will respond, tries to grab him again.

The Guard falls to the candlestick before he can even get a grip on Gamzee, and then those furious purple eyes are fixed on you, clawlike nails scraping against the bloodsoaked tool as he shifts it in his grip. He takes a few steps forward and stands over the casteless intruder, snarling. Far too slowly it dawns on you that he's guarding him, trying through whatever madness possesses him to keep his dying friend safe. You glance at the three injured on the floor, all of them plunging ever closer to death, and you feel your own heartbeat racing on the edge of your life.

“Please,” you whisper, wincing as the words cause you pain to speak. “We need a healer. I know you want to protect him, but we can't save him if you don't let anyone near...”

You try to take a step forward, and hastily abort the attempt when you are snarled at. A glance around shows that help is arriving, and you look back at the casualties. You can't be sure, but you think they might have stopped bleeding. They're still in dire need of medical aid, as are you. You eye up the furious scion as the Guards and the Lawkeepers draw closer, wondering how you're going to get him away from his friend.

Then a shadow passes across his features, followed by a look of surprise, and he slumps as if someone just cut his strings. The candlestick drops from his grip as he looks around wildly at the crossbows and swords pointed in his direction. Wide-eyed he crawls over to the side of his fallen friend, and as you feel the gentle hand of a healer on your shoulder you can see tears starting to make tracks down his face.

“Please...” he begs, looking around the assembled crowd like he doesn't even know who to ask. “I'll be good, I'll up and do any shit you want, I promise I will, just don't motherfucking hurt him. It's not his fault, it's me, he wouldn't have done none of this if I hadn't wanted him to, please, just let him fucking live...”

You hear his voice breaking with fear and it makes you wonder. On the one hand, since the incident happened on House Kutsanmis land, the law gives the family primacy in deciding punishment of the perpetrator. On the other hand, you and your associates were badly injured by this miscreant, and if the Temple of the Seer makes a request for custody of the prisoner under those terms then any House, no matter how noble, would be hard-put to refuse. Professionally it's quite a risk, but then you've never been risk averse when there's something suspicious afoot. You have questions and you doubt the Matriarch is going to allow you to question her son.

Then again, you still haven't found that assassin. You may not have time for this, and you let yourself be slowly led to a corner for medical attention while you mull over whether or not Cherry Candy Casteless is worth risking your reputation and career to question.

  


### Suggestions

 _unholygrunt_ and _jadescribe_ – Karkat: Take Gamzee hostage.

 _MASK_ \- Terezi: better catch this guy quickly. you doubt the Kutsanmis would appreciate such an... inconvenience, during their son's 'special day'.

 _kaysin_ – Gamzee: React to what's going on.

 _OrderOfTheToast_ – Karkat: Bolt through the compound with Gamzee, disturbing preparations and being chased by Terezi.

What am I using? Soon you will see...

[System Notes](http://celynbrum.tumblr.com/post/59697645649/lodad-system-notes-chapter-5)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Some brief clarifications:**  
>  1\. Equipment: the equipment characters are listed as having is their “travelling” equipment. They can be assumed to have it all to hand when they're on the road. When stopped, most characters will take off or stow away a backpack (and anything inside it), and weapons will either be sheathed or put away depending on the size and nature of the weapon. Common sense should prevail as to what is easy or acceptable to carry where and when.
> 
> 2\. Scenery: I don't want to draw maps of everything and I do want to keep options open, so none of the locations are exact until specified. Again, common sense, and not contradicting anything said earlier. If you say something that doesn't work, I can probably extrapolate to something similar that does, so don't worry about having the exact dimensions of every location.
> 
> 3\. Characters that have not yet been mentioned are the ones who are, at the time of writing, DEAD in canon. Since this story is supposed to be set in the universe they create after canon (until its inevitable transition into an AU), those characters died before this world started existing and thus cannot be PCs. That's why they're NPCs and I have PLANS. Mwahahahaha!
> 
> 4\. Terezi isn't blind. Why would she be? She was blinded by an external cause, and they all have brand new bodies. Any scars or permanent injuries have to be picked up in this lifetime. She is better in a fight when blinded than most people, though...
> 
>  **And a request:**  
>  Can the next chapter please not involve too much running about or fighting things? These rolls take ages and I'd like an easy one! ;) Also remember to switch up characters sometimes. Everyone needs to have a turn eventually!
> 
> Also be aware that Karkat and Terezi nearly died this chapter. I'm trying not to kill characters, but the dice apparantly had other ideas and I ain't gonna break character just to save someone's ass. Dear god I was relieved when Karkat auto-stabilised. SO RELIEVED.
> 
> EDIT:  
> Moved the notes from the top of the chapter to the bottom, and farmed system notes out to Tumblr.


	6. ==> Jane: Watch A Street Show

## ==> Jane: Watch A Street Show

The city is quiet at midmorning; when you first saw it so still, back when you were just a rookie in the Watch, it surprised you that the streets were empty when the sun was shining brilliantly overhead. But as the experienced Guard showing you and your brother the ropes had pointed out, everyone going to work has arrived by this time, and nobody is taking a break for lunch yet. The only people about are the ones whose chores or work take them onto the street, or those up to no good.

You have yet to work out which category Dirk is in today. Your eyes narrow thoughtfully as you lean against the cool grey stone of a handy haberdashery, watching as the masked performer reels in a small but steady crowd with his patter. He keeps them enthralled with a little juggling and the rapid-fire poetry that you've not heard properly spoken outside the Phooka Clans. Dave hovers around the edge of the crowd as usual, waiting for his cue. You haven't seen him brush too close to anyone yet, and you think that's probably because he knows you're there. Dirk's certainly seen you and what one of the brothers knows the other is usually aware of. They aren't going to take risks with you there, in uniform or not.

Normally on your days off you would be home at the inn, helping Mom and Dad keep the place running smoothly and maybe doing a little baking. Things are quiet lately though, and with John's steadfast refusal to eat the fruits of your labours you think it's probably best to let the stockpile of cake die down a little before you make any more. You're not used to doing nothing with your time, which is probably why you ended up going for a stroll just to kill the time. Of course, now you've seen that Dirk's about, your plans are changing. Most people would say that Phooka mischief- and it is Phooka mischief, even if the pair of them are aasimar- is more a matter for the Town Guard than an Investigator-in-training. To your mind, the Watch is the Watch and crime is crime. Besides which, you don't trust Dirk or Dave as far as you could throw the pair of them together.

It's only because you're watching for it that you spot the moment Dirk gives a small nod to Dave, and then the black-clad bandit is slipping through the crowd to stand next to his brother. You can already see people laughing and elbowing each other, making the natural assumption that Dave's outfit is a costume like his brother's colourful getup. In a way they're right, because you don't think you've ever seen Dirk out of his performing clothes either. Sometimes you wonder if that's because he's treating the whole world as his stage and everyone in it as the audience. You've known the pair of them for years now, arrested them both at least a dozen times and never for anything worse than pickpocketing. Dave always shrugs and flirts with whoever puts the handcuffs on- the first time you and your brother met the pair of them it was you he ended up hitting on, and you swear to the heavens that he was playing it up to make John giggle even harder. Your brother thought Dave was hilarious, and ended up fast friends with the quick-tongued thief and his obscene vocabulary. You were more interested in the other brother, the one who dressed like a mockery of a dandy and who quietly seemed almost pleased to get caught.

The charges didn't stick that first time, or any time after that. You'd hate the way the two of them get away scot-free, except that they never do anything serious and every time they do get released, you learn about another legal loophole to avoid in future. You tilt your head as Dave draws a sword and theatrically menaces Dirk with it, wondering for the thousandth time whether your mysterious acquaintance is secretly your friend or your foe.

Dave flourishes his sword dramatically at the crowd, and a few of them gasp. You see the small smile twitch at his lips. He was never as good as Dirk at hiding his feelings, and you know for a fact that your dear brother has a real talent for getting under Dave's skin when he wants to. It's amusing to watch, if childish.

“You'd better gasp alright, 'cos I'm the bandit king,” Dave intones, waving his sword in a slow arc across the audience. Even from across the street you can hear every word perfectly; his projection has really improved over the years. “And I'm coming here to steal every purse and every ring. Every pendant, every bracelet, every coin and every gem- and if you've got a pretty daughter then I think I'll steal them!”

The crowd is laughing now at the sudden intruder in the show, and you can't suppress a smile as Dirk speaks up. “Your majesty, I'm sorry, but there must be some mistake, because those things you say you're taking, well, they ain't your things to take. They ain't your rings and pendants, they ain't your gems and gold, and I'm sure that pretty daughters go to heroes brave and bold.” On the last line he catches his juggling clubs and winks theatrically to the audience. It's your turn to giggle. One thing you do know about Dirk is that he's about as interested in pretty daughters as you are, maybe even less.

Dave does an exaggerated turn, scanning the street carefully before turning back to Dirk. “If there's a hero hereabouts, then I don't see or hear him.” He lifts his sword again and waggles it at his brother. “Unless of course your cunning plan consists of volunteering.” He starts to pace around Dirk, the sword never wavering. “But I really can't advise that, because when all is said, if you say that you're a hero then I say I'll see you dead!”

Dirk reaches behind himself and draws his own sword, long and curved. It's completely distinctive and you've not seen another one like it; clearly it's something he picked up travelling with the Clans. Unlike most of the audience, you're also keenly aware that both Dirk and Dave's blades are sharp and lethal. You have no idea why they don't use safe, blunted blades for these performances. Perhaps it just amuses them for things to be this way.

“I'd not say I'm a hero, just a normal working joe,” Dirk says slowly, turning to keep Dave in his vision as the “Bandit King” continues to circle. “But I'm not a man to pass on by and let a robber go! You think that you can slay me- well, strike me if you can, and may the final blow between us go to the better man!”

Dave lunges first and your heart does leap into your throat, but as usual it's a show fight- slow, looping blows aimed at each other's blades rather than anything actually vulnerable. It still makes you nervous. What if a child were to run into the middle of their pretend fight? What if one of them were to slip, or lose his grip on his sword?

Perhaps they really are just that good, a part of you thinks, and to be honest that's the thought that really scares you. You've never seen either of them fight for real, but to use sharp blades in a pretend fight is the kind of insanity that only the truly skilled or the immensely stupid would ever attempt, and neither of the brothers strikes you as particularly foolish. You drift closer as metal clashes on metal, the crowd barely noticing as you push your way closer to the performance just in time to see Dave thrust his ordinary longsword “through” Dirk. The blade obviously just passed by on the opposite side from the crowd, but Dirk clutches his side and staggers about in mock pain, tugging a red ribbon out from between his fingers.

“It seems that I am stricken, a deep and mortal blow,” he gasps to the audience, the ribbon fluttering in the breeze. “And yet there is one magic that can stop this scarlet flow.” He drops to his knees as behind him Dave takes a few steps back, fading into the background for the scene. “If you would stop the Bandit King and turn his strike into a miss, then send the fairest maiden forth to give her healing kiss!”

And all of a sudden you could just kill Dirk, because his outstretched hand is reaching pleadingly towards you. You intend to resist, naturally, but the rest of the audience has other ideas and you find yourself being shoved forwards into his waiting arms. Scowling, you lean in and give him a chaste little peck on the side of his lips. He smells of sweat and lavender, and you can feel his breath on your cheek as he whispers “thanks,” in your ear.

Before you can really wonder about that, he discards the ribbon and jumps to his feet, flourishing his sword again. “Aha! I am recovered! And your crimes are at an end!”

The Bandit King, aka Dave, laughs. “We shall see who's ending who now, my resurrected friend!” He slips sideways and then charges in, only for his painfully unstealthy sneak attack to be obviously and dramatically parried by the newly “recovered” Dirk.

“Perhaps you are a cur, but you shall fight me like a man!”

Dave snarls at him. “I struck you once already, fool, I'll kill you where you stand!” The two of them get to fighting again and you slip back into the crowd, albeit right at the front this time. An elderly man gives you a smile as you step next to him, which you return in good humour.

Inevitably, the rejuvenated hero gets the upper hand in the duel and it is Dave's turn to have Dirk's sword cause an apparently fatal injury. Dave staggers backwards as he speaks the Bandit King's last words. “I am slain upon your blade, good sir, a villain to the grave. It seems you were a hero after all, upstanding, bold and brave.”

You don't think he delivers dying lines as well as Dirk did, but he gets a cheer when he makes a “guuurk” noise and falls flat over onto the cobblestones from standing. You wince. That had to have hurt.

Dirk ignores his brother's antics and turns to the crowd instead. “The Bandit King is slain and all good folk are free!” he declares, as behind him Dave gets back up and brushes off the dust of the street. “So we thank you for your patronage and your generosity.” The last word has a slight emphasis and is accompanied by Dave rather pointedly picking up the money-bag and holding it out to the crowd. You sigh and fork a couple of copper out of your money-purse to throw in, and as the rest of the audience start to either follow suit or hastily retreat you see Dirk give you a raised eyebrow.

“Don't look at me like that,” you tell him, folding your arms. “You two always have more money than I do, and you made me participate!”

“Oh, come on, Janey,” Dave says, wandering over with the jangling bag. “Who else was gonna save hero-boy? Shit, if it wasn't for you, we'd all be living under the heel of the Bandit King right now, stuck wishing for all the King's horses and all the King's men to get their asses into this godforsaken corner of the world and lay some law down on us. You don't want that fucking asshole getting all the bitches and bling, do you? 'Course not, that's why you danced the tongue tango with his nemesis.”

You smack yourself in the face, in the vague hope that this will reset the universe to one where Dave knows when to stop talking. This miracle does not occur, but when you feel a reassuring pat on your shoulder and look over to see Dirk's hand you think that maybe that's good enough for now.

“So, not that it isn't great to see you,” Dirk says, tidying the money bag away with the rest of his performing gear, “but is there any particular reason you decided to come and witness our little theatre production of spectacular bullshit today?”

You shrug. “I was just around and caught sight of you.” You frown. “Why? Are you up to something?”

Dirk waves an admonishing finger in your face. “Ah, ah, Investigator. That is racial profiling, which will only perpetuate the social stigma attached to our cultural heritage and leave us and all our kinsmen trapped in a perceptual cage which fucks up any attempt to improve ourselves or our situation.”

“Plus it's rude to accuse your friends of shit just because you're bored,” Dave adds. You grab Dirk's finger and glare at both of them.

“Okay, firstly, you know damn well that I'm not prejudiced against wild elves- and that _is_ who you were talking about with that racial profiling crack, don't even try to pretend otherwise, because you're only aasimar when it suits you. Secondly, social stigma be damned, you know damn well that Phooka cultural heritage does not include a very firm grasp on the concept of personal property and that as a member of the Watch I have to at least be aware of this! Thirdly, I know you two. You're always up to something.”

Dave and Dirk share a look, red eyes meeting orange in a moment of silent communication, then Dave holds his hands out meekly.

“Whelp, I guess that's it,” he says with a sigh. “You got us bang to rights, lock us up and throw the key the fuck away. This case is so fucking watertight, when you're done with it they're gonna use it for searching the bottom of the bay. Gonna dredge up all the storm-wrecks for miles with that shit, make a fucking mint on the cargoes, that's how solid your evidence is.”

“Seriously,” Dirk adds, pulling his finger out of your grasp. “While it's nice to know that your gut feelings are apparently a highly-regarded and carefully-trained tool of legal investigation, we promised our Guardian we'd be home for midday meal.”

“And she is one scary lady,” Dave says.

“So we're just going to walk away, until you find something that's actually fucking admissible in a court of law,” Dirk finishes. He swings his bag over his shoulder and starts walking off, Dave giving you a jaunty little salute before following. You watch their backs retreating down the street and three things occur to you.

One, they never actually said they weren't up to something.

Two, they've told you in the past that their Guardian never gets up before midday unless her caravan is actually on fire.

Three, the Phooka Clans are camped in the other direction.

Following them isn't even a proper conscious decision. They stand out in the crowd so you can afford to hang back, and as noon approaches there are more and more people on the street to mask your presence. Once or twice they look back and you have to hastily turn and examine a stall with extreme interest, or duck behind a cart to avoid notice, but overall they don't seem even slightly aware of your presence as you stalk them through Porthaven to the Temple District. Here the crowded, narrow buildings of the city make way for a large circular plaza, surrounded by the eight temples of the Pantheon of Light. They're theoretically eight separate buildings, but over time the red brick structures behind the marble entrances and colourful domes have joined together into one single complex. The Temple of Breath is the keystone, of course, with the Temples of Light and Life supporting it in equal marble magnificence. The Temples of Time and Space are modest but age-worn, while the Temple of Hope looks considerably more shiny and new. The Void and Heart temples are at the edges near the entrance to the plaza, smaller and shabbier than the others. In the case of the Temple of Heart, that's because the main religious centre is out by the Barrow Hill and this is just a token showing in the religious core of the city; for the Temple of Void, you suspect it has more to do with the number of Priests of the Rogue that need bailing out and legal fees for charges of public drunkenness, trespassing, robbery, causing affray, and in one memorable case indecent exposure _and_ defacement of a public building.

None of these buildings should be of any interest to someone who considers themselves culturally Phooka, and you grow all the more curious when the brothers head straight for the Temple of Light. You wander casually after them, watching from by the central fountain as they slip down a side alley towards the servants' entrance.

You have a mental debate with yourself about whether to follow, and lose. When you reach the alleyway you stop trying to look casual and instead stay low and tread softly. The gap between the two buildings is wide enough to be considered a proper street anywhere else in the city, but overhead the arching bridges that connect the two neighbouring buildings block the light and make your journey that bit more treacherous.

When you hear Dirk's voice drifting out of an open window you move to crouch under it, eavesdropping like the professional Investigator you almost are. You hear an unfamiliar female voice- probably one of the servants- talking to them.

“... should be out of Midday Devotions soon, but I really shouldn't leave all this work!”

“Come on, Lyra, we're fucked if you don't help us out,” Dave says. He doesn't sound all that concerned to you, but you guess not everyone is as suspicious as you because you hear Lyra mumble something about “maybe in a few hours”.

“Lyra,” says Dirk, and you can imagine him putting his hand over hers and gazing soulfully into her eyes. You've lived and worked in an inn since you were tiny and in all that time you've never met such a manipulative flirt as Dirk Silvertongue; he turns the charm on when he needs it and when he doesn't, poof! Out like a candle. The fact that he doesn't try it on you is probably a compliment to your intelligence, or something.

When you hear Lyra agreeing to go and do whatever it was they wanted her to do, you're a little ashamed to find yourself thinking what an idiot she is. But honestly- how could _anyone_ know Dirk and Dave at all and still be taken in by the faces they chose to show? They gave up trying to fool you that way ages ago. You think.

Oh, gods, if they were putting on their whole mysterious bullshit façade just to jerk around the silly little trainee Investigator, you are going to have them in jail so fast the doors will be spinning.

“Hey, bro,” says Dave, and you freeze as you realise that yes, this is them alone in a room and you can _hear everything they say_... it is quite possible that no living being in the universe has ever had the opportunity to witness this before. You should feel privileged.

“Sup?” Dirk asks, and you're amazed by how like Dave he sounds in that one word.

“What sort of trouble we looking at for this? Like, slap on the wrists and no supper for you trouble, or getting all close and friendly with the hangman so he drops us sharp and not slow kind of trouble?”

He sounds curious rather than afraid, and you spend the long pause wondering if maybe you underestimated the brothers and their unending capacity for diffident stoicism.

“Does it even matter?” Dirk says eventually. Dismissively. “We're Striders, bro. Trouble is our bread and butter.”

Perhaps they keep their bullshit masks up even around each other. Perhaps they don't even know what's under there any more. Either way the revelation of their shared truename isn't enough to stop the frustration that makes you grind your teeth so hard it's amazing they don't hear it. Then a door opens with a heavy creak inside and you remember that you're supposed to be gathering evidence. Daringly, you crouch up to peek over the edge of the window, expecting to see the unidentified “Lyra” returning.

Instead you see two figures that you immediately recognise, even if they are wearing long hooded cloaks over their usual elegant robes. The white cat purring on the second figure's shoulders would have given it away for you even if you hadn't been personally speaking to them both for weeks and knew their faces on sight.

Hastily you drop back down to the ground, hardly daring to breathe. What the Oracle of Light and her sister are doing meeting a pair of disreputable street performers in their own kitchens you can't even begin to decipher. You hear a few simple greetings, Roxy and Dirk speaking to each other as established acquaintances, before Rose interrupts.

“As I understand it, time is of the essence,” she says, sounding more than a little impatient. “If we are to attempt to blend with the crowds as we move, we will have to go before they dissipate.”

“But of course,” Dirk agrees. “This way, ladies.”

Your heart stops again as you realise that all four of them are about to exit into the alley. The straight, empty alley, where you are currently crouched just by the door they will be exiting by. You have about four seconds before they will be able to see you, and there is no way you can explain crouching by the open window as a purely innocuous position.

Oh, _shit_.

### Suggestions Used

Well, I have six (or seven?- someone went twice) suggestions that would continue the plot threat from the previous couple of chapters, but for the twin purposes of drama and also writing someone I haven't already done yet, I'm going to follow these suggestions:

 _Ms Arano_ \- Jade: Watch street show. (I suspect this is meant to say “Jane” as Jade is nowhere near a street, let alone a street show).

 _Jack-Of-Spades_ \- Dirk: Get the pea rolling on this scam, then cut to the chase and immediately out-do Dave in "heroic" sister related shenanigans.

Don't worry! I've got all the previous suggestions saved for use and I _will_ use them. I just wanted to make sure this story doesn't get stuck in a rut.

[System Notes](http://celynbrum.tumblr.com/post/59697918333/lodad-system-notes-chapter-6)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah, there was quite a long time since the last update, at least to my mind. This is because on Monday a friend of mine told me about Words of Power, an alternate spellcasting system that was just PERFECT for Sollux. So I spent this week rebuilding Sollux's character, then tweaking Aradia and Kanaya, then reformatting every character sheet I've got saved for easier reference and use in future, then also editing the intro chapter to contain less rampaging capslock. It was long and boring, but in related news the character intro chapter is less headache-inducing and the LEVEL ONE chapter is altered to reflect Sollux's new abilities.
> 
> I got three words for ya. FUTH RO DAH!
> 
> Also I'm working on a special bonus chapter for you guys – the God Description for the Heir of Breath! So that should be up in a little bit.
> 
> EDIT:  
> Moved the notes from the top of the chapter to the bottom, and farmed system notes out to Tumblr.


	7. -- THE HEIR OF BREATH --

## THE HEIR OF BREATH

[ ](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/fge5dgkddxf3grj/Heir%20of%20Breath.png?dl=0)

_Lord Laughter, Storm Brother, the Hammer of Faith, the First God_

ALIGNMENT: Neutral Good

PORTFOLIO: Defence, Laughter, Family, Leadership

DOMAINS: Protection (Defence), Air (Wind), Good (), Strength (), Trickery (), Community ()

FAVOURED WEAPON: Lucerne Hammer

THE HEIR OF BREATH is a god close to the heart of many communities, whose mission is to draw people together with the simple joys of life and protect them with his strength.

HISTORY  
All the creation stories that acknowledge the Heir at all name him as the first of all the gods, the exact meaning of which has caused no small amount of dispute throughout history. Revelations to Oracles in days gone by have led to the generally accepted idea that he was the first to become divine, a turn of phrase that has left many religious scholars questioning. They are liable to continue in their puzzlement, because for every tale which tells of the god aiding in the creation of a community or defence of a home, there is one which speaks of his mischievous sense of humour and impish troublemaking. Tales of him rarely end badly, however, and it seems that whatever his methods his purpose is always to spread happiness and safety in the world.

PANTHEONS AND RELATIONSHIPS  
The Heir of Breath appears in the worship of three different pantheons as well as individually.

In the PANTHEON OF LIGHT, he is considered to be the leader of the eight gods and to maintain good relations with them all. In particular he is considered to take advice from the SEER OF LIGHT, and is as close as a brother to the KNIGHT OF TIME. He does sometimes clash with the PRINCE OF HEART, but is otherwise on friendly terms with his fellow deities within the pantheon.

As one of the RULERS OF HEAVEN, he is once again considered to be the leader of the four, but this time in a much more informal sense. His relationship with the KNIGHT OF TIME is played up further and he is brother to the WITCH OF SPACE; in this pantheon, his nature as a trickster comes more to the fore, and he has greater distrust for the SEER OF LIGHT.

Within the HOLY TRIAD, he is one of three equal deities along with the WITCH OF SPACE, who is once again his sister, and the KNIGHT OF TIME, who is once again his closest friend. In this pantheon his love of laughter and family are paramount, as is his nature as a guardian warrior.

Alone, he is most usually depicted as benevolent and friendly towards other deities, but with a decided trickster streak that can infuriate others. He is sometimes depicted as deliberately annoying, and rarely gets on well with the short-tempered.

As an antagonist to other pantheons or deities, he is depicted as either a fool or an irritant, as well as monstrously strong and disinclined to listen to reason. He is in fact the primary villain in many of the stories of the worshippers of the KNIGHT OF BLOOD, in which he is the combined forces of stubbornness, wilful blindness, and thoughtless gestures that cause most of the problems of the world.

APPEARANCE AND EMISSARIES  
The Heir of Breath is most often depicted as a dark-haired aasimar with blue eyes and a long blue hood. He carries a brightly coloured hammer and is almost always in motion, usually flying on a gust of wind. Sometimes he is shown as a Tuatha or a Phooka instead, but with the same blue eyes and clothing.

SERVANTS  
Good-hearted creatures that fly or are by nature of the air are sacred to the Heir of Breath. Oddly, he also seems to have a soft spot for kobolds, muckdwellers, and other small lizardfolk- so long as they are not harming others.

_The Pretties_  
These Air Mephits, distinguished from others of their kind by their trailing blue hoods, are the divine messengers of the Heir. They are well-known to cause mischief if summoned for tasks they consider boring or pointless.

_Lyvtaeler_  
This celestial Dragon Horse appears on the eve of battle to aid whichever side the Heir favours. It is said that to see the enemy leader sitting on this mare is a clear sign that you should abandon the field.

_Breezecaller_  
This ancient Cloud Dragon is claimed to be both immortal, and the oldest living paladin of the Heir. He is rarely seen and more rarely recognised; to those who do find him, he grants three questions to be truthfully answered, and more if they can beat him in a game of riddles. He never joins a battle unless it is for the sake of the world, but will rescue individuals when he sees they need aid.

CHURCH  
Temples of the Heir are generally at the hearts of communities, performing marriages, training guards and defenders, and hosting celebrations of all kinds. Those that follow a pantheon generally report to the primary temple of that pantheon- Porthaven for the PANTHEON OF LIGHT, Madianzi for the RULERS OF HEAVEN, and Hintta for the HOLY TRIAD. His solo temples are generally locally run, but maintain a loose cooperative which helps unify his worship. Worship of the Heir worldwide tends to originate in settled, above-ground communities with peaceful goals.

WORSHIPPERS AND CLERGY  
Clerics of the Heir of Breath are Neutral Good, Lawful Good, Chaotic Good, or True Neutral.

Followers of the Heir are usually ordinary working-class people, both in cities and the countryside. He is also popular amongst sailors, merchants, soldiers and anyone else who risks life and limb travelling far from home.

The clergy of the Heir are primarily Clerics and Paladins, although some Inquisitors take up his calling. Oracles are rare and appear only in times of great need, when the Heir feels he must act more directly in the world. His devout followers tend to act as watchmen and guards against outside threats, or as activists and reformers within their own societies.

TEMPLES AND SHRINES  
Temples to the Heir of Breath are usually designed around a high-ceilinged, spacious central chamber. Large windows to let the light in and brightly-painted designs are common, and they often serve as the venue for parties and feasts. Shrines to the Heir are also common at roadsides, simple carven stone altars bearing his symbol and festooned with the offerings of weary travellers.

HOLY TEXTS  
The holy books of the Church of Breath are mostly simply stories about the Heir, and the doings of various champions and prophets of the faith. The idea is that by retelling the tales, people can learn from the events and the actions of the heroes how to make a positive mark on the world.

_The Tale of Skaia_  
The primary book of the faith, this tome tells the story of the birth of the gods and the defeat of several demons that led to the creation of the world. Despite its central position in the faith, the entire tale is generally held to be “extremely confusing”, and largely allegorical. Fortunately there are enough individual tales within the overarching plot that they can be recounted individually, without the wilder themes in the original becoming apparent.

_The Tale of The Templar_  
The life story of the first mortal champion of the Heir of Breath and the founding of the first temple on the site of what is now Porthaven. This book is better known to laypeople than the Tale of Skaia, and informs their views on the god accordingly.

_Five Times The Heir Of Breath Knew What He Was Doing, And One Time He Didn't_  
A bizarre book, which many members of the clergy have in the past tried to have declared heretical. It never sticks. Generally viewed as being for children, it highlights the trickster nature of the Heir and shows him interacting with other gods- including several which are not in any of his standard pantheons. Phooka worshippers of the Heir, although rare, almost always own a copy of this book.

HOLIDAYS  
The church of the Heir assists in the celebration of hatchings and births, along with any other local joyful events, in addition to its own holy days.

_Mischief Night_  
At the end of autumn, after the last harvest has been brought in but before the first frost, children and adults alike dress in masks and facepaint to pull pranks on one another and eat as many treats as their stomachs will hold. It is traditional on this night to select a Mischief King or Queen to direct the proceedings, just as it is traditional to spend the next week after cleaning up the mess.

_Guardian's Day_  
On the thirteenth day of the fourth moon of the year, it is traditional for children to show appreciation for their guardians by giving them gifts and by arranging a celebration- often putting on a small play or dance.

_Warden's Watch_  
For three days before and after the new year starts with the spring equinox, the adults of a community will keep vigil outside under the stars to see the old year out and the new year in. This usually takes the form of a large bonfire and an ongoing party, but by custom and tradition there will always be a small contingent alert and standing sentry.

[ ](http://th01.deviantart.net/fs71/PRE/i/2013/241/9/e/heir_of_breath_by_persephone_the_fish-d6k7p6b.jpg)

Heir Of Breath Portrait by [proserpine-in-phases](http://proserpine-in-phases.tumblr.com/)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Breath god-tier symbol above was half-inched from the INTERNETS, but I cannot for the bloody life of me find the place again. They had all the symbols and everything... :(
> 
> Mysterious internet person, I am sorry! Had I thought, I would have saved your name at the time...
> 
> On a related note, I should probably mention that the little sprites in the LEVEL chapter were made with the assistance of pictures from the MS Paint Adventures Wiki, a set of blank character bases from "themaker360-d3ayhx5" and a set of pixellated god-tier symbols by "x_vee_rocks_x". All of these things were found with Google. Yay Google!
> 
> EDIT: Aaand I found where I got the symbols from! :)
> 
> http://digitallibrarian.tumblr.com/post/14178961946/jades-spirograph-shirt-symbol-or-whatever-else


	8. ==> John: Help Your Sister Out Of A Jam

## ==> John: Help Your Sister Out Of A Jam

You have always thought that Guard duty in the Temple District is unbelievably dull, and several long hours in the sun today have done nothing to convince you otherwise. Every temple has its own wardens, and they keep order well enough that the presence of the Watch is mostly just to make sure everyone knows that the place is still part of Porthaven and doesn't run on private law. In theory since you haven't been properly sworn in you should be accompanied by an experienced member of the Watch who can make sure that you don't screw up anything too badly. In practise Constable Richies wandered off half an hour ago to find lunch for you both, and she hasn't come back yet. You sigh and look longingly over at the children playing in the fountain; your feet are aching, and you're definitely starting to wish that you could just jump and splash in the water like they're doing. Sometimes the Porthaven Anchor on your chest is more of a burden than a blessing.

You catch sight of bright colours and black out of the corner of your eye, and feel your spirits lift when you notice Dave and Dirk crossing the square. You're about to call out to them when you see Jane, a good few paces behind and definitely in tracking mode. She looks about herself to check for watchers before following them down the alley between the Temples of Light and Time, and a slow grin spreads across your face.

You have the _best_ idea for a prank.

Abandoning your useless post by the Temple of Life, you stroll across the square, pausing only to dig out your waterskin and fill it at the fountain. You wouldn't really want to drink this, but you're not planning to, and you can clean it out with the kettle at home. The little kids splash past you as you fill the leather container, and you flick some water back at them, making them screech. You're chuckling to yourself as you arrive at the end of the alley and note with satisfaction that Jane's attention is focused entirely through an open window.

Eavesdropping is of course fantastically rude, which is why you will be totally justified when you sneak up behind her and soak her with your recently-gathered fountain water. Before you can put this masterstroke of comic genius into effect, however, Jane jumps back from the window looking pale. You realise a moment later as the door opens that she's about to get caught listening in, and from the shade she's gone you think you can guess why.

You might be a pain sometimes, but nobody ever accused you of being malicious. You abandon your plans to give Jane an impromptu shower in favour of striding boldly down the alley and waving to the four figures that emerge. Dirk and Dave you were expecting, but when you see the Oracle and her sister with them you can't help but wonder what you've walked in on.

“Hi!” you call, and thank the stars that all four of them are now looking at you and not Jane, who kind of looks like she's trying to find a way to vanish into thin air.

“John,” Dave says, sounding almost surprised. “What, are you stalking me now? Because I know that what we have is special, but you gotta give me some space, man...”

You laugh and wave your hands in denial. “No, dude, nothing like that,” you tell him, cutting your friend off before he can get into full swing. “Actually, we came to see Rose and Roxy.”

“Us?” Roxy asks in a delighted squeak, at the exact same moment that Rose narrows her eyes and says, “ _We?_ ”

Jane picks up on your gambit and coughs softly. Four pairs of bright aasimar eyes turn to fix on her, and she goes pale again. You think she might even be sweating a bit with all the attention.

“Uh, hi,” she says, her voice evaporating into a tight little whisper. You roll your eyes and wish, not for the first time, that Janey had moves half as smooth as yours.

“We were hoping to talk some more about the Free Inn,” you say, narrowing your eyes and trying to send psychic sibling-waves of thought to your sister.

“Uh, yeah,” Jane agrees. “We were totally, definitely wanting to do that. Because. The Free Inn is important, and that is certainly a thing we should be talking about.”

Psychic sibling-waves of thought are not a real thing, which is sometimes a real pity. You shrug as Dave shoots you a quizzical look: none of this is really making sense to you at the moment, and you sort of wish you'd gone with the prank instead. You're not the only one looking a little incredulous; Dirk's stony gaze hasn't wavered from Jane since her first cough, and Rose and Roxy appear to be having some sort of silent conversation through the medium of raised eyebrows, pursed lips and twitches of finger motion.

You make a mental note to come up with some sort of cool sign language that you can use to talk to Jane- and Jade and Jake, when you finally meet them.

“How much did you hear?” asks Dirk. Jane shrugs. She looks about as bad as she did that time you filled her pillowcase with balls of fluff that looked sort of like spiders. You still don't get what all the fuss was about; it wasn't as if you used real bugs. That would have been creepy.

Rose sighs and pinches the bridge of her nose. You've only spoken to the Oracle a few times, but the first time you met her sister told you to call them both by name and you do want to be friendly. Besides, it makes them more like people than icons of their Churches, and people are a lot easier to deal with than religious symbols.

“I believe a full explanation may well be in order,” she says, her voice low as if she's afraid to be overheard. “But unfortunately I cannot give you one here. Secrecy is, as you may have guessed, a critical element of this endeavour and we simply cannot risk being overheard. Again.” She narrows her eyes and looks between you and Jane. “Suffice it to say that these two gentlemen are acting as our guides and protectors, at our own request, and that the fate of the world may very well be at stake. Now may we continue along our way? Quietly?”

You look at Jane, who sees your expression, sighs, and gives a single nod. You beam at her and scoot forward to wrap an arm around Dave's shoulder.

“Well, if you can't explain here, then we'll just have to come with you until you can tell us!” you say cheerfully. Rose stares at you in shock, and her sister breaks into peals of laughter.

“Oh, I like yooou!” Roxy trills, leaning over to link elbows with your free arm. You feel an extra, unexpected weight as her white cat unwraps itself from around her neck and puts a tentative paw on your shoulder; you glance at it and are met by a pair of surprisingly intelligent pink eyes. The girl resting on you smirks and reaches her hand out to Jane. “Come on, Janey! Let's have anadva... advanat... an addent... fuck it, an advanature!”

Jane hesitantly takes the proffered hand, and suddenly you are wrenched away from Dave by a blur of dark blue and pink motion. You follow Roxy as best you can as she drags you and your sister out into the main square, then stumble again as she pauses and looks around in confusion. A few seconds later Dirk walks past her without even breaking stride.

“This way, sweet cheeks,” he calls, and you're off again. When you hear a faint snicker from Dave you decide that enough is enough and wrench your arm out of the giggling aasimar's death-grip, prising the fingers of her other hand off Jane's arm as her cat sits on your shoulder and purrs in your ear. It's starting to weird you out a bit, actually- you're fairly sure that familiars aren't supposed to touch people other than their master. Maybe the kitty is just as gregarious as its owner. You sort of hope that's it.

As Dirk leads your small group down the hill road towards the inland edge of the city, you fall back to walk beside Jane. Your sister looks at you with a frown.

“Aren't you supposed to be on duty?” she asks. You nod.

“Yeah, but nobody's going to notice I'm gone. It's Temple District, Janey! What's going to happen, someone steals a building?” You wink and give your sister a nudge. “Don't worry. I won't tell anyone about your crush on Dirk.”

She turns a really interesting shade of pink and splutters a bit, and you reach up to absently scratch at the cat's ears. “Yeah, I figured you must like him if you were following him around the city!”

“I... you... he...” she stammers, before taking a pause and drawing herself up to her full height- just a couple of inches shorter than you. “I do not have a crush on Dirk Silvertongue!”

“Do too.”

“Do not!”

“Totally do.”

“Do not! Oh!” She huffs and stamps a few steps ahead before turning back and rounding on you. “For your information, I was following him because he was acting suspiciously! I was investigating a suspect!”

You stick your tongue out at her as you walk up. “Aren't you supposed to be off duty?”

She smacks you across the head. “Shut up! A good investigator is never off duty!”

“Yeah, not when your duty is _looove!_ ”

Another smack. “I'm not even his type!”

“Oh-ho? And is he yours?”

Jane stares at you, eye twitching. “NO!” She turns on one heel and storms off, leaving you to wrap your hands behind your head and stroll on after, whistling a nonchalant tune. You actually couldn't care less whether or not she has a crush on Dirk. It's just really fun to wind her up like this. Although you kind of wonder what she meant about not being Dirk's type- wow, you wonder if she asked him out and got rejected. That would be hilarious.

It doesn't take you too long to work out where you're headed to. Porthaven is built on a hill and you can see over the wall to the bright caravans of the Clans ahead of you long before you come close to the gates. You nod to passers-by and exchange pleasantries with acquaintances, but it doesn't escape your notice that Dirk and Dave are carving a path with purpose, or that Rose and Roxy have pulled their cloaks close around their distinctive robes. You suppose that they don't want to get mobbed by worshippers, and the thought makes you scratch at the back of your forearm. Even though you know it's nothing, the shape of your birthmark still bothers you from time to time. If people knew about you and Jane, then you might not be able to be in the Watch any more. You might not be able to help your parents with the inn. You might not even be able to live at the inn.

It's not like you're keeping it secret, exactly. Technically, nobody ever _asked_ if you have the symbol of a god on your arm.

As the crow flies, it is hardly any distance to the Phooka camp, but by the winding roads of Porthaven it takes a good hour to reach the northern gate. As usual the great wooden doors are wide open to let travellers come and go; a couple of members of the Town Guard give you a smile and a nod as you pass by, and you breathe a sigh of relief because neither of them know you. The six of you slip through the oncoming traffic of farm carts and merchant caravans to stroll along the grassy verge, travelling against the flow of people until you can smell woodsmoke and incense in the air and Dirk leads you to scramble up a small slope and into the Clans' encampment.

Ever since you were tiny you've thought there was something magical about the wild elves. Perhaps it was living in an inn where you heard every traveller's tale and stranger's story; maybe it was those early glimpses of bright carts and caravans before you were dragged safely back inside by your mother. Whatever the reason, no matter how many times you visit Dave, you never get over how amazing his home is. You wave cheerfully to dark-eyed Phooka as you pass, getting small nods of recognition for your trouble. Dirk and Dave lead you over to a caravan near the centre of the temporary village, and you recognise the patterns of dancing flames, wheels and cogs and intricate blades painted along its sides. This is your friends' home.

Rose seems to be eyeing it with some suspicion, but when it becomes apparent that you have arrived Roxy quickly scrambles up the steps to poke her head inside.

“Where's the _beds_?” she asks, voice muffled by a layer of weatherworn wood. In response, Dirk wordlessly steps past and over her to pull a handle on one of the side benches. You grin as Roxy's eyes go wide, and Dave nods.

“Yup, us ne'er-do-wells got all the amenities. We got fold-away beds, folded-away benches, overhead and underfoot storage, chamberpot there, pots and pans there, don't start a fire in the caravan or I swear to the fucking heavens I will end you, and that's pretty much it. Home sweet home. You break it, you bought it.”

“Do you have the articles we discussed?” Rose asks politely. Dirk nods and jumps down out of the caravan.

“In there, under the bed on the left,” he tells her. With a nod of acknowledgement, the Oracle walks up inside with her sister and pulls the door closed, leaving you and Jane out on the grass with Dave and Dirk.

“So, what's going on?” Jane asks casually. Dirk shrugs.

“Oh, you know. Apocalyptic visions of doom, last ditch attempt to save the world, that sort of shit. I'm just in it for the ride, really.”

Your eyes go wide. “Wow, that sounds really important!”

“John!” your sister groans, slapping a hand into her face. “He's not being serious.”

“Yeah, he is,” Dave says, from his position lounging against the caravan. “He's serious as marshfever in the mountains. We're calling all the healers up for this one, stripping the bark right off those willow trees and it's doing shit all. There's snow all over every last fucking woodpile and it's time to start praying because this patient's a goner, doc.”

Jane glares at him. “I'm not going to believe something so clearly ridiculous,” she snaps. “The world is not coming to an end!”

“Oh, I am rather afraid that it is.”

You look around to see that Rose has emerged from the caravan, her distinctive Church robes cloak shed in favour of bright Phooka garb. You admit that maybe your jaw drops a little as she joins you, adjusting a patterned headscarf to hide her blonde hair and blunt ears as Roxy stumbles out in an equally outlandish getup. With a small mew, the cat familiar jumps down from your shoulders and goes to twine between her legs, getting tangled in new layers of cheerily-coloured skirts.

“What is that supposed to mean?” Jane demands of the Oracle, frown deepening. Rose sighs and presses a hand newly ornamented with carved bangles to her forehead.

“Please do not belabour me with your scepticism. I have endured quite enough of that from my peers in the Church of Light, and I will not tolerate it any longer.” She purses her lips and looks at the pair of you. “My whole life, I have had true visions of the future. For several months now they have warned of impending disaster. I choose to act to prevent the events I foresee, and my sister and the Phooka have agreed to aid me. What action you choose to take is down to you, but I would take it as a personal favour if you would refrain from mentioning our location or means of departure to the authorities of Porthaven. I have clashed with the High Priest repeatedly on this matter, and I do not wish to push an unnecessary confrontation.”

You raise a hand and she sighs. “Yes, John?”

“So, what you're saying is that you're going to go on an adventure and be heroes?”

Roxy laughs and slumps down onto the steps of the caravan. “Yeah!” she crows. “We're gonna be the bestest advent'rs in the whole pane. Plane.”

Jane looks at you uncertainly. You know she can tell what you're thinking. “John, we're supposed to be swearing our oaths to the Porthaven Guard in the next few days!” she argues. “We have to stay here, not go off on wild goose chases after adventure!”

You know she's probably got a point. But Rose is an _oracle_ \- and the Oracle of the Seer of Light, no less! If she says the world is in danger then you have to do something!

Right?

### Suggestions Used

Okay, let's see what I can do with these:

 _Firebird766_ \- Jane: Standing up is less suspicious than crouching by a window. Stand up, straighten up your clothes, and bluff as hard as you can.

 _unholygrunt_ – Jane: Make sure you're behind the door when it opens.

 _MASK_ \- Jane: Roll with it. They come up to the window and see a stern-looking Jane standing with her arms crossed: “So, where are we going?”

 _Jack-Of-Spades_ \- John: Happen upon your furtive friends in town a little later on. Misunderstand what is going on completely.

 _Ephemeral_Dreamer_ \- John: Notice a suspicious person in the temple district (basically I thought John might be patrolling there when he notices Jane. He then decides to have some fun by pretending he doesn't know her and she's acting suspicious so she's obviously a burglar or something^^)

[System Notes](http://celynbrum.tumblr.com/post/59698136556/lodad-system-notes-chapter-8)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I guarantee that at least one of you now thinks I'm shipping Dirk and Jane. This is because once the problem of “do you fancy X” is postulated, there is no formulation of answer that works as a definitive negative since outright denial is oft interpreted to mean “I like X but don't want you to know/don't want to admit it.”
> 
> So, it is with little hope of it sinking in that I remind you that Dirk is not a heterosexual, and Jane canonically has not been shown to crush on him. You may now begin flaming the author.
> 
> Probably switching theme again after this chapter, to get some more of the characters warmed up!
> 
> EDIT: Fanart! Not specific to any chapter, but since it's John, I thought I'd put it on his first chapter!  
> [Tuatha John](http://24.media.tumblr.com/7acbd1de9423cda170d3b98acf571c49/tumblr_mj7typ3cs71s5ue1oo1_1280.png) by [ninjutsukitty](http://ninjutsukitty.tumblr.com/) ([original Tumblr post](http://ninjutsukitty.tumblr.com/post/44671711553/tuatha-john-this-came-out-well-33-i-hope-you#notes)).
> 
> EDIT 2:  
> Moved the notes from the top of the chapter to the bottom, and farmed system notes out to Tumblr.


	9. ==> Aradia: Find Something Interesting

## ==> Aradia: Find Something Interesting

You wake to sunlight shining through the canvas of your tent, and the unmistakeable sound of Sollux shouting. For a moment you are tempted to wrap yourself in your bedroll and drift back into sleep, but you know that it'll probably end badly if you do, so instead you start to disentangle yourself from your bedding. You're still yawning when you stick your head out into the clearing where you made camp in the predawn, and sigh when you see your best friend in the whole world throwing sticks at the fire, the forest, and Kanaya. Not all of the firewood is being hurled by hand, either- his shouts are punctuated with the incomprehensibly arcane words that characterise his magic, and little flickers of red and blue light assault your already overburdened eyes.

Kanaya is ignoring him in favour of calmly sitting by a log and sewing a small pile of clothes back together. You admire her composure, although when you notice that she seems to be using one of his jackets as patching material the pieces fall into place. You scramble out into your camp, march up to your wayward friend, and without any concern for the powerful forces he's throwing around like cheap confetti you grab his ear.

"I was trying to sleep!" you yell over the din, and the change in him is as dramatic as it is sudden. A goodly pile of firewood rains down, narrowly missing the three of you, and he flushes with yellowish embarrassment.

"I... er, thorry, Aradia," he mutters shamefaced. You let go of his ear and give him a hug instead.

"It's okay," you tell him, even though you are actually pretty tired and you wish that you could get just one uninterrupted day of sleep. You know that Kanaya trances rather than sleeping, and only needs four hours of rest, but even though you've lived with each other forever you've never been able to work out what Sollux's rest requirements are. Some nights he seems to sleep like you, others he zones out like an elf, but mostly he either won't get out of bed at all or refuses to lie down in the first place. You used to think it was because his mixed heritage was causing rest problems for him, but now you're certain that it's actually just his own messed up head.

Hugging Sollux is a bit like hugging a particularly skinny tree, if trees grumbled in undercommon and started trying to wriggle away after half a minute. From the way Kanaya shakes her head almost imperceptibly and how well you know him, you work out that whatever he just said is horribly rude and you break the embrace to give him a smack.

“OW!” he protests. You snort and get to picking up the firewood he was scattering. Sollux slumps down by the warm glow of the embers, not that you really need them at noon on a bright summer day. You dig through your belt pouches and pull out breakfast. Sollux groans when you hold out the paper-wrapped cake, and you sigh.

“You have to eat something,” you insist, although your own stomach is churning a little at the thought of another day on such unappetising fare.

Sollux takes the wandermeal and starts to unwrap it moodily. “This thtuff ith dithguthting,” he mutters. “I hate travelling rathionth. I hate travelling. I fucking hate thith fucking foretht. When can we go back to Porthaven?”

You pick a small corner off your own cake and stare at the dense brown mush. Maybe if you only try and eat a tiny bit at a time, it won't be so bad? “Sollux, if we go back to Porthaven, you'll spend one day sleeping, one day in the library, then you'll come to the inn screaming about how much you hate the place and can't we go back to the forest.”

“I would not!” Sollux objects. “When have I ever done that. I hate thith thitty foretht and I loathe every thecond we thpend here.”

Kanaya looks up from her sewing. “From my observations, Aradia is correct,” she says in mild tones. “Although I also agree with your assessment of our rations. They are extremely unpalatable.”

“They're lightweight and nutritious,” you insist, shoving another corner of wandermeal into your mouth. “If I see anything edible on the way, I'll promise I'll pick it up, but we have to keep our strength up!”

Sollux sighs in defeat and starts to eat his breakfast. You finish yours off and check the supplies- enough for one week. You might have to start looking harder for ways to supplement your diet, or you'll all starve to death before you get back to Porthaven!

Kanaya sets the last of the clothes down on her pile with a smile. “All done.”

“Yeah, great. Why couldn't you jutht uthe magic?” Sollux says, gathering up his newly-patched clothes and glaring at the remains of his jackets.

“I did, in places,” Kanaya replies. “But such spells can only do so much, and since I had some rags anyway...”

You giggle as your oldest friend hisses and stalks off to start taking your tent down.

Packing up camp doesn't take too long, a lifetime of practise letting you all work around each other until both tents are stowed and the remains of the campfire are fully doused and covered over. As usual, Sollux carries the pack you both share and you take the lead through the tangled trees of the forest.

It's slow going, pausing every so often to jot down notes so that you can fill in the map later. Kanaya is beautifully patient, as ever, and after a while Sollux stops complaining and instead trudges along in sullen silence. The Greenweald is beautiful by sunlight, the leaves shining a golden green and every moss-covered rock or log an emerald beacon. The canopy keeps just enough of the brightness away for you to be okay with this, although you're thinking it might in future be worth stopping earlier and sleeping during the afternoon instead of the morning. Either way you are filled with a sense of being lighter than air, as if the whole world is laid out before you. It's like you could just keep going forever, a never-ending adventure. You love it.

You can hear the soft curses behind you occasionally as Sollux walks into branches or stubs his toe on roots, and you feel a little guilty for being so happy. He hates this life. For all that you tease him about it, you know he would much rather be in the city, within easy reach of books and research apparatus. You wish you had the sort of life where he could have a little magic lab of his own and you could just come and visit him whenever you got back from an archaeological expedition. But however much you want your dreams to come true, you know it's not that easy. Forget how neither of you fit in there, with the aasimar and the high elves in their daylight city. You just can't afford to join a university, or for Sollux to own any books, or even to rent a proper house. That's why you took up this line of work, because it's the only way you'll ever get the gold you need. It was the best option you had. The fact that you like this so much more than he does is just something you both have to put up with.

Then you walk out into a clearing, of sorts, and the sight that greets you makes you forget any kind of guilt you might have been feeling.

A magnificent temple structure stands amongst the trees, ancient stones crumbling and covered in moss and twining roots. You don't recognise anything about it, save that it is clearly very old- perhaps more than a thousand years. You hear rather than see Kanaya and Sollux arrive beside you as you look up the side of the green-and-grey structure.

“My goodness,” Kanaya whispers, and you agree. You agree so much. You want to climb all over it and take notes and wow, just wow. You can't believe you just found this by accident!

Sollux brushes past you and walks on, ignoring the temple to his left. “Great. Now we have to thpend forever at thome thitty old building that'th not even...”

There is no warning, just a slight hesitation, and then Sollux vanishes with a scream of panic. You and Kanaya run to where he was standing and see a hole torn in the forest floor, a thin network of roots and fallen leaves concealing the edge of a deep hole. Beneath you can see the glimmer of light on water, but not much else.

You don't even stop to think before you jump, Kanaya right beside you. You have a few fractions of a second as you are falling to panic- _oh gods what am I doing I must be completely crazy_ \- and then you hit the water hard, flailing for recovery as your eyes adjust to the darker interior.

To your embarrassment, when you see the narrow strip of tumbled stone and earth that constitutes a “shore”, Sollux is already there. You set out paddling the short distance towards him and he helps pull you out, then you turn to look for Kanaya.

“Where...” you begin, then you see the dawning horror on Sollux's face and remember that Kanaya was wearing _armour_ and a _heavy sword_ and her _pack_ and oh no, this is really, really bad.

“Thit!” Sollux says, dropping his own pack and jumping back in the water. You follow, but catch movement out of the corner of your eye. A few seconds later another splash sends you reeling and then the lean, grey form of a wolf is swimming right past you towards where Kanaya must have gone under. Alarmed, you start to swim back to the patch of gleaming sunlight under the hole in the ceiling, but the wolf is a lot faster than you and you're not really a great swimmer. You see the creature dive under the surface, followed closely by Sollux, and then you're taking a deep breath and dropping yourself.

It's only when you see the wolf nudging at Kanaya's unconscious, drifting body, trying to push her towards the surface, that you realise its intent. Your heart, already racing, beats a little faster when you see Sollux slowly sinking beside her. You should have known he couldn't swim like this, but you didn't think and now both of your friends are going to die.

 _No_. You will not think like that. You kick a little closer and try to get your friends closer to the wolf. Somehow he manages to swim under them both and then he's moving up, heading for air and the surface, and you follow with a relieved gasp as your head breaks the surface. The wolf is already crawling up onto the shore and you can see someone else there helping him, an elf girl you think, wearing greens and browns that blend so well into the background that you can barely make her out. You slowly set out back to shore, the rush of adrenaline leaving your limbs weak. You slip under the water a couple of times, but manage to pull yourself back up before any harm is done.

By the time you pull yourself onto land, the stranger has laid both your friends out on their sides and is worriedly examining them. She glances round as you approach and beckons you closer. You're not even thinking about the wolf that sits like an obedient dog next to her; you run to Sollux and Kanaya, and you can feel the tears welling up when you see how still and lifeless they both are.

What are you going to do without them? You can't even remember your life before you met Sollux and Kanaya might be a more recent friend but she was a good one nonetheless. They're all you have and you knew this career was dangerous but you don't know how to lose them, not like this...

“They're not dead.”

You look over in surprise at the stranger, who gives you a worried but nonetheless kindly smile. “I know they look pretty bad, but they're both stable, and if you give me a hand I should be able to wake them up.”

Hope blossoms. “You... are you a healer?”

“I'm a Guardian of the Greenweald,” the girl tells you, and you can hear the note of pride in her voice. “I don't have any healing really prepared today, but I can do this...”

She closes her eyes and whispers something, a prayer, and for a brief moment there is the golden-green glow of sunlight on leaves and the smell of a warm day after rain. Then she opens her hand to reveal four bluish berries, all glowing with a faint light. You've seen Kanaya's magic before, of course, and this is similar, but at the same time different. You lean over to examine the magical berries.

“If we give a couple to each of them, that should at least wake them up,” the Guardian says. You surprise yourself by shaking your head.

“No, wait,” you say, thoughts of what your priestess friend can do filling your head. “Give them to Kanaya. She's a healer, she can cure Sollux.”

Jade looks at you for a moment then nods, settling herself at the head of your unconscious comrade. “Okay, I just need you to hold her mouth open while I do this,” she says. You nod and gently apply pressure to Kanaya's jaw. Her teeth are neat and white and blunt, and you think that it's a good thing this stranger was here because there was no way you could have saved them both.

The Guardian pauses for a moment before she acts, and for an instant it's as if you're falling and will never land. Then she gently pops the berries into Kanaya's mouth and massages them down, one by one. The faint glow spreads across your friend, that same gentle gold-green light, and then your friend sits up and winces.

“Remind me to never do something so foolish again,” she says, before her eyes fall on the stranger and the wolf. She seems momentarily surprised, but recovers fast. “I assume I have you to thank for the magical healing.”

The Guardian nods and sticks out a hand, smiling. “Jade of the Greenweald and Bec, at your service.”

Kanaya returns the smile weakly and takes her hand. “Kanaya Godschild. My companions are Aradia Dreamwalker and Sollux Twinblood- ah, I see Sollux needs my services again.”

“Godschild? Does that mean you're a priest?” Jade asks, following as Kanaya shuffles over to Sollux.

“In general, yes,” Kanaya replies. You can understand her evasiveness. Her relationship with the temple that raised and taught and then abandoned her is a complex one. “Everyone, gather close,” she adds, glancing at you all. “I see more than a few bruises, and there is no point to being wasteful.”

You take Sollux's hand and stroke it as Kanaya digs out her carved wooden pendant and cups it in her hands. Her chanting is in undercommon and you don't understand a word, but you feel the usual heat as her skin begins to glow with an ethereal light. You have to close your eyes against the flash of brilliance that washes over and through you, removing the lingering stiffness of the fall and leaving the roughness of burnt earth and the vitality of hardy flowers in its wake. A second flash follows, and then Kanaya stops chanting and you open your eyes to see Sollux sitting up and you throw your arms around him because you're just so glad he's still here.

“Tho, what did I mith?” he asks, glancing at your company. “Who'th the wolf girl?”

“Jade of the Greenweald,” your new acquaintance says, buoyant as ever. “And this is my companion, Bec. You're Sollux, right?”

“Yeah,” your friend agrees as you help him to his feet. “Tho what, did you fall down here too?”

The girl looks rather embarrassed. “Well, yeah... and I've looked all over, but the only way out is a corridor over there that leads downwards, and I was just thinking about whether it was a good idea or not to go down there on my own when you all showed up!” She stops and looks a little expectant. The three of you look at each other.

“We do all have the same objective,” Kanaya says.

“And it would be nice to spend time with someone new,” you agree.

Sollux rolls his eyes and starts to walk in the direction Jade indicated. “Brilliant. Welcome to team idiot. Can we get out of the thtupid hole now?”

When Jade gives you a puzzled look, you just shrug and start to follow him. You wanted to explore this ruin anyway. You guess that now you have the best excuse!

  


### Suggestions Used

The hive mind has spoken! No, really, you guys did a hive mind. It is both cool and creepy.

 _Marycontrary_ \- I'd like to see some of Jade's journey. She imagines she's utterly safe, but a level one hero can get in over her head in a kiddie pool. 

_Ephemeral_Dreamer_ \- Kanaya: Stumble upon an elf with a strange weapon traveling alone through the forest. [A/N: I believe this is meant to refer to Jake, but :P]

 _Redmage_ \- Kanaya: Watch Sollux walk into a tree branch. Again.

 _Ryo Hoshi_ \- Sollux: Startle a wolf.

 _MASK_ \- Kanaya: Tend to Sollux's injuries. Again. [A/N: Seriously. Hive mind. Or I need to stop doing the “again” thing in my fic.]

 _Marycontrary_ \- Sollux: find something dangerous. Does your divine connection with doom tell you anything about people's futures? Is it going to draw you to whatever Rose is looking for?

Due to a conflicting series of orders, I believe that the following command will no longer be possible to follow and it has thus been struck from the command list:  
 _Kamaete_ \- Jade: Meet Jake and get on your jolly good way.

[System Notes](http://celynbrum.tumblr.com/post/59698300901/lodad-system-notes-chapter-9)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I admit it, I was playing a bit fast and loose with defining actions before rolling at one point- I'd blown through two hero points and it looked like Aradia was gonna drown! _I only put the sodding pool in to avoid falling damage!_ And I realised too late that initiative order would have helped. The situation in this chapter also changed the narrating character- I was gonna do Kanaya, but she spent too much time unconscious! I was going to have a combat in here too, but after all the drowning drama I've decided that's enough for one chapter. Although technically, Sollux _did_ startle a wolf... and he _did_ find something dangerous... and Jade _did_ get in over her head in a kiddy pool...
> 
> Seriously. IT'S DC FUCKING TEN. PUT SOME RANKS IN SWIM ALREADY YOU GODDAMN FIRST LEVEL FUCKWITS!!!
> 
> Also, writing Aradia is very hard because there's relatively little non-robot character interaction with her in canon. I have tried, but I suspect that I've got it wrong. :S
> 
> Also: HERO POINTS. Some of the listed methods for gaining Hero Points (like bringing pizza to the game) are not exactly practical in this mode, so I'm adding one. Once every five story chapters (so this one qualifies), we will be holding a vote to see which character gains a hero point! Remember that characters who go over their max will lose the point...
> 
> I may also award Hero Points for other suitably cool reasons which have not occurred to me yet. Anyway, voting is now open! Results with the next chapter!
> 
> EDIT:  
> Moved the notes from the top of the chapter to the bottom, and farmed system notes out to Tumblr.


	10. ==> Sollux: Try two find a way out of thith thtupid hole.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Hero point votes:**  
>  Karkat 1  
> KARKAT GAINS 1 HERO POINT!

## ==> Sollux: Try two find a way out of thith thtupid hole.

Most people are completely fucking retarded, which is why they don't appreciate that the world is a fantastically complex system based on a series of immutable laws, the various interactions of which lead inevitably to the existence of both nonphysical phenomena and physical objects- also known as magic and the annoying idiots who think it's somehow breaking the laws of nature to be a spellcaster. Magic wouldn't exist if the laws of nature didn't allow it; just because you can do things that some dumbass farmers think is impossible, that doesn't mean your abilities are actually outside the realm of possibility. You don't ignore the principles on which reality is built; you were just born knowing how to access them on a deeper level, and this obviously allows you to rewrite the higher laws in a local area around you with a few words and gestures.

Basically, you are too fucking smart to be stuck down a hole with a crazy forest girl and her pet wolf, even if Aradia has used her magic to dry you off and promised to try and improve the taste of your next meal. Right now you hate that she's looking after you like she's your guardian, although you're self-aware enough to know that later you'll feel guilty about that. It's just hard not to be irritated when your head is buzzing with ideas that you want to write down and you're so far from civilisation that by the time you get the chance you won't just have forgotten these thoughts, you'll have had a whole new set of brilliant insights and forgotten those too. A small but insistent voice in the back of your mind is trying to point out that it's your fault you all ended up down this hole...

_... your fault Kanaya nearly drowned..._

... but you're determined to ignore it for as long as you can.

Aradia is busy making friends with your new companion, and you stomp along sullenly behind the pair of them as they chatter and giggle and point excitedly at chicken-scratching on the walls that they think is ancient writings and you think is just more fucking cracks in the stone. Kanaya although quieter is taking an interest too, which leaves you hanging out with the hairy, smelly, ridiculously enormous fucking _wolf_ that apparently saved your stupid ass from the water. You don't even like dogs- last time you were in Porthaven your friends had to rescue you from an overly friendly slobbering furmonster and you're not keen on a repeat.

The buried temple is dark: the occasional holes high above you let scattered daylight into the square, time-worn tunnel, but Jade is having to hold onto Aradia's arm to avoid tripping over fallen blocks of stone. You're glad that you inherited clear night-vision from both of your ancestors, whoever they were. The ravages of a passing age aside, the corridor is perfectly square, and winds around others in an insane labyrinth made all the worse by blocked passages and flooded pools. Fortunately for you all, Jade waved her arms about and did whatever sort of magic it is that crazy woods-people use, and now she's pointing north with what she swears is perfect accuracy at every intersection. It's still been hours, and you've had to double back more than once. You're starting to think that you might get stuck down here forever.

Your first warning that something is amiss is when Bec stiffens and then streaks forward like a bolt of grey-furred lightning. Then something low to the ground and heavy slams into you. You reel back and fall straight over another form, to find yourself looking up into the snarling muzzles of two wolves. You're not an expert in animals, but these two canines are both thinner than Bec, with patchier fur and breath that stinks of something rotten and foul. It only makes sense that your small band wouldn't be the only things to get trapped down here. Why the fuck did you have to linger at the back of the group again?

The wolves growl and you try to form a spell, the knowledge of the words of power rising out of your instinctive mind and tripping over your clumsy tongue as you try to keep half an eye on defending yourself from two sets of sharp fangs. The arcane magic fizzles and dies on your lips and you desperately wrap your arms around your head and curl up. You hear Aradia hum a melodic tune that speaks of soothing rest and dreams, and for an instant the wolves hesitate before shaking off her influence. There is a tremendous snarling and growling coming from not far off and you can hear Jade saying something just above you. You don't know what it was, but one of the wolves hovering over you turns and lunges. You see a flash of a heavy wool skirt and sturdy leather boots and know that the stranger you've been resenting for hours probably just saved your sorry ass.

Kanaya's voice booms around the enclosed space and you can feel the whispers of a thousand doomed souls echoing in the dark as the other wolf beside you lets out a terrified whine and flees without looking back. Blindly you try to cast again before realising that Jade is too close; the confusion causes you to stumble again and another fading waste of power dissipates into the air. You feel a similar discharge from Aradia as the wolves shake off her spell, but now that you're not fighting to protect yourself from tearing teeth you can hear that the snarling has died down somewhat. You raise your head to see Bec growling at a third wolf, Jade's hand coming to rest on her companion's ruff as she steps towards it. You feel a sense of vastness, a feeling of being everything and nothing at once accompanied by a faint greenish glow from the Guardian, and then she growls at the third wolf. To your amazement, it flinches back. Then the other wolf lunges after her, yellowed teeth tearing a chunk of bleeding flesh out of her leg, and she sways alarmingly. Fear jolts through you as you realise that you might all be depending on her bluster.

A burning heat from behind you reminds you that Kanaya is still here to help. The fiery desert light of her magic washes through you and over the wolves, bringing with it a sense of wellbeing and vitality. You see Jade and Bec's wounds close up, and realise that the tide of this fight has just changed. There's nothing to keep you on the ground, so you scramble upright and keep the momentum going in your favour by firing off two words that echo and twist and pull the very essence of magic around them. Your wrists slam together and you direct a jet of fire, blue and red entwined, towards the wolf that helped knock you down. It yelps as its fur chars and you smirk at its panic.

Aradia starts to sing again, and the wolf you just singed starts to sway drowsily as her dream-magic dulls its mind. The final wolf's ears are flat to its head and it looks more scared than aggressive; Jade growls again, and it makes up its mind. With a fierce yip, it turns tail and runs, followed a few moments later by its dozy compatriot. You look to Aradia to see if that means you're safe now, only to see her wandering through a doorway into another room.

"By the heavens..." Aradia whispers, and you hurry to follow her and see what the fuss is about. You stop as soon as you are standing on the threshold, because you have definitely not been in here before during your wanderings, and this chamber warrants the exclamation.

The room is perfectly cubic save for a pile of tumbled rocks and tangled roots in the corner. The light streaming through the hole illuminates a large space, the walls and floor and ceiling all carved with the same chicken-scratch words that filled the corridors. This time the letters are too deep and too clear for you to dismiss them as cracks. In the centre of the room on a raised dais stands a stone altar, and against it, clutching a tattered leatherbound tome, is a skeleton.

“I wonder what manner of temple this was,” Kanaya says, walking in behind you and turning to take in the scene. Jade and Bec ignore the wonder the three of you are showing, and head straight for the tumbledown corner.

“Oh, there's loads of old temples in the forest,” the Guardian says, examining the pile of rocks. “I mean, exploring them can be pretty fun, but if we don't get out of here then we'll end up starving like those poor wolves!”

“Yeah, poor wolveth,” you mutter, stomping over to the skeleton and crouching down to examine it. The blank sockets of the skull stare back at you. You feel rather than see Aradia approach behind you.

“That's interesting,” she says, leaning forwards to examine the skeleton. “Looks like he was an Aelfen. I wouldn't have expected to find a shining elf somewhere so well-trafficked.”

“Well-trafficked?” you splutter, and Aradia laughs.

“Well, it is by their standards! Aelfen hate being near other races!”

“I wonder what he was protecting,” Kanaya says, walking over and crouching down to gently pry the book out of the skeleton's hands. Even her delicate touch proves too much for the fragile bones, and some of the fingers crumble away and clatter in fragments onto the floor. “Oh, dear.”

You can't help being curious, but you're not expecting it when Jade joins you in squashing up close to see what the book contains. She looks straight into your freakish bicoloured eyes and gives you a bold wink. You're too surprised to even scowl at her, and then Kanaya flips the pages open and you see page after page of scrawled writing. You don't really know jack shit about languages or alphabets, but even you can see that there are at least three different ones being used here, and whoever wrote it managed to smudge ink and write around corners or in the margins with disturbing frequency. You're proud of your own regular, painstakingly precise handwriting, and the sight of paper and ink being used so carelessly is almost painful to see.

“What does it say?” Jade asks. You wobble a bit as Bec forces himself into the not-really-a-gap-at-all between you and pants enthusiastically.

“I am not certain,” Kanaya replies. “Some of it looks like High Elven, but the language is too archaic. And the penmanship is atrocious.”

“Let me see,” Aradia says, taking the book off her and studying it. “Hmm. Hey, Sol, does this look like Infernal to you?”

You back away from the wolf and his mistress, leaning on Aradia's shoulder as you scan the page she's looking at. “Thame characterth, but like KN thaid, it'th old. I can't read it.” You narrow your eyes. “Holy thit, did thith guy ever hear of lowercathe?”

Aradia flips through the book. “Looks like he wrote more normally in the beginning, look.” She points to an early page that is written in row after row of neat High Elven characters. A few examples of Infernal scatter the text, and another set of symbols that you don't really recognise at all, but they are isolated and tidy. “It's only later on that things get messy.”

You glance uneasily at the skeleton, reminded of how your own notes start getting when you stay up for three days straight and the library staff fail to kick you out.

“We can bring it with us, right?” Jade asks. You glance sharply around.

“With _uth_?” you demand. A sudden uneasy tension falls across your small group, and Kanaya and Aradia share a glance.

“It only makes sense, Sol,” Aradia says slowly, closing the book and passing it over to Kanaya again. “Jade only has to pick up her brother, and then they're both heading to Porthaven. It's only a day or two out of our way, and we'd all be much safer travelling in a group.”

“Tho what, you thought you'd all jutht dethide thith without even athking me?” you yell, stepping back from the group. You can feel words fizzling in your mind, words for force and fire and targets. You ignore them; you're pissed, sure, but not that mad.

“It is nothing like that,” Kanaya said. “You simply did not seem interested in the discussion. We thought you would not mind.”

“Bullthit!” you reply. Aradia scowls and walks up close, shoving an admonishing finger under your nose and making you go cross-eyed trying to follow it.

“Sollux Twinblood, you are being ridiculous!” she says. “You want the truth? Yes, we did decide without telling you, because we knew you would say no and because that would be the _wrong answer_! I know you don't like making new friends or being around people, but Jade has been nothing but pleasant and helpful, and I'm not putting all of us in danger because you are an antisocial idiot!” She lowers the finger and jabs you in the chest. “So if you want to sulk about it, go ahead, but don't think for a second that we're changing our plans because you want to act like a spoiled wriggler!”

“Hatchling,” you mutter sullenly, but she knows she's won because she gives you a tight hug. Her breath tickles your ear as she whispers in your ear.

_“It's going to be okay.”_

It is so fucked up that you can trust that better when nobody else hears it, and you know it, and she uses it on purpose. You console yourself with the knowledge that you know how to manipulate her too, if you ever pull your head out of your ass long enough to make the attempt.

After a long few moments, you pull out of the embrace to see that Jade and Kanaya are studying the rubble pile again. “Tho what'th the plan?” you ask. Jade turns and beams at you.

“Well, I think that we can rearrange this pile to climb out,” she says. “We just need a way to move some of the rocks. They're not that big, but they are kind of high up.”

You and Aradia share a grin. “I take the lower stuff, you do the top?” she asks. You nod. Her Unseen Servant isn't very strong, but it can move a few rocks about, and you can shift pebbles from down here.

“Out of the way,” you say, raising a hand. Aradia's magic glows a soft red next to you, and you smile as you speak in arcane syllables and blue and red light flickers overhead.

### Suggestions Used

 _Marycontrary -_ Search the ruins for treasures (and incidentally a way out).

 _unholygrunt -_ Sollux: Get out of this thtupid hole.

 _MASK -_ Aradia: See if you and Jade can't put your heads together to figure out where you are, and then make like a tree and get the hell out of there.

[System Notes](http://celynbrum.tumblr.com/post/59698557711/lodad-system-notes-chapter-10)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was late because I had a hellish week at work and was too worn out to write. I'll try and write another God entry to make it up to you!
> 
> Also, turns out that that pool last chapter? Yeah, that was a special magic drowning pool. Accursed waters, random magical thingy, happens all the time in forests. Definitely didn't misread the drowning rules. Nope, not what happened at all.
> 
> Next chapter will be Jake, then I will be running on whatever clears the most suggestions at once basis. Won't that be fun? :)
> 
> EDIT:  
> Moved the notes from the top of the chapter to the bottom, and farmed system notes out to Tumblr.


	11. -- THE SEER OF LIGHT --

## THE SEER OF LIGHT

[ ](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/zuqvk6va8he8710/Seer%20of%20Light.png?dl=0)

_Fateweaver, the Guiding Star, She Who Casts Shadows, the Abyssal Emissary_

ALIGNMENT: True Neutral

PORTFOLIO: Fate, Prophecy, Intellect, Guidance

DOMAINS: Knowledge (), Luck (Fate), Sun (Light), Void (Dark Tapestry), Magic (), Rune (Language)

FAVOURED WEAPON: Dagger

THE SEER OF LIGHT is a goddess shrouded in mystery, her motives and nature unendingly debated by followers and detractors alike.

HISTORY  
Tales of the Seer across history have cast her in every conceivable role; hero and villain, victor and victim, monster and child. All that is truly known of her is that in her dealings with mortals she has been scrupulously truthful, if often cryptic, and that those who are intelligent and wary prosper under her guidance. Whatever the stories say, it seems she cares little for the opinion of the masses, and acts according to an agenda that only she knows.

PANTHEONS AND RELATIONSHIPS  
The Seer of Light appears in the worship of three different pantheons as well as individually.

In the PANTHEON OF LIGHT, she is depicted as the benevolent ruler of fate and the primary advisor of the other gods. Despite her secondary position, the pantheon is named after her, and she is considered to be less a subordinate to the HEIR OF BREATH and more an equal or superior who chooses not to rule. She maintains a polite and distant relationship with all the gods of the pantheon.

As one of the RULERS OF HEAVEN, she is shown as a much more ambiguous or even dangerous figure. Again she is the advisor and fate goddess, but she is shown more as a puppet of greater powers who makes use of unknowable demons to gain secret knowledge. She is sister to the KNIGHT OF TIME and friend to the WITCH OF SPACE, but despite mutual fondness the HEIR OF BREATH knows to fear the dangerous game she plays.

Within the STARWALKERS, a pantheon whose worship has faded in all but a few lands, she is the leader of the pantheon and guides her fellow deities safely through the dangers that beset them. Once again the KNIGHT OF TIME is her brother, but she also has a close companion in the SYLPH OF SPACE. She spends little time with the KNIGHT OF BLOOD, although it is said she tried to save him from betrayal by the SEER OF MIND and the BARD OF RAGE. She is here shown to be the one who makes the hard decisions, using her divine powers to lead her comrades in the fight against greater foes and bring hope of victory even as the consequences of those powers bring her pain.

Alone, she is worshipped in one of two ways; either by the evil cults who see her as an emissary of the foul and demonic forces of the abyss, or as the bringer of knowledge, understanding, and fair warnings of future disaster. This latter form of worship is the primary religion of the Aelfen, or Shining Elves, who consider themselves her chosen people.

As an antagonist to other pantheons or deities, she once again takes on the mantle of abyssal messenger, a puppet or willing servant for horrific forces that would destroy all the good things in the world. Hubris and arrogance are her sins, and her fall dooms all those she touches.

APPEARANCE AND EMISSARIES  
The Seer of Light is most often depicted as an aasimar in an orange robe, a hood covering her head and shading her face. She may also sometimes be shown as a white-haired tiefling with violet eyes and sharp horns, wearing black robes and bearing wands that crackle with dark power.

SERVANTS  
Horses and felines are beloved of the Seer of Light, most particularly those of magical heritage or great intelligence. Unicorns are sacred to her. There are also claims that she also favours hideous aberrant creatures with tentacles and beaks and squamous flesh, but some churches consider this heresy.

_The Maple Hoof_  
This unicorn is taller and more graceful than even others of its kind, and its horn is a distinctive pale violet spiral that resembles a wand. Those who follow it are always led somewhere of great consequence, but there is usually a hefty price for accepting the goddess' gift. If anyone has ever been foolish enough to attack this sacred messenger, they have not survived to tell of it.

_Chamber of Echoes_  
Tended by generations of Aelfen, this vast chamber in the heart of Starspire mountain is lit by bioluminescent flowers that cling to the rock and scatter the ceiling like stars. It is said that if you whisper a question in the heart of the cavern, the echoes will give you a true answer.

CHURCH  
Temples of the Seer usually only exist in larger towns and cities, supporting universities, higher education and governance, although the shrines of dark cults can and do spring up anywhere. Most of the true churches report to a central authority- Porthaven for the PANTHEON OF LIGHT, Madianzi for the RULERS OF HEAVEN, Kalvik for the STARWALKERS, and Starspire Peak for solo worship.

WORSHIPPERS AND CLERGY  
Clerics of the Seer of Light are True Neutral, Neutral Good, Neutral Evil, Lawful Neutral, or Chaotic Neutral.

Followers of the Seer are primarily scholars, philosophers, academics, and similar intelligentsia. They congregate behind the walls of cities and monasteries, where they can study and debate in peace.

The clergy of the Seer are mostly Clerics, but the goddess sends one Oracle to each church authority every generation to act as a direct contact and divine guide. Devout followers become mind-healers, academics, or politicians.

TEMPLES AND SHRINES  
Temples to the Seer of Light are usually long and thin, filled with columns decorated with lights either magical or mundane that light the otherwise shadowy interior. Incense burns all hours of the day and night on the focal altar where the Books of Prophecy are laid, and scenes from those same books are painted on the walls.

HOLY TEXTS  
The holy books of the Church of Light fall into two categories; books of prophecy and revelations, broken by tales of how the information was received, and books of advice on how to interact with other people and recognise various mental and social problems as they form and correct them.

_The Books of Prophecy_  
The backbone of the faith, these tomes are a living testament, the collected revelations of every Oracle of Light ever born. There are some doctrinal differences, as the established temples do not use each others books, but since the Oracles will have the same revelations in all but the most parochial issues the Books of Prophecy are fairly consistent across the worship of the Seer. Only the three most recent tomes are kept easily accessible; the rest are generally archived for convenience.

_The Complacency Of The Learned_  
Many centuries ago, not long after the founding of the first official Temple, the Oracle of the time was gripped in a trance which did not end until she had written all three books of this strange work. The story is often held to be allegorical and warn against hubris, although some cults have taken it as a literal excuse to go and slaughter wizards.

_C'gof'nn C'grah'nn Lw'nafh'nafl Nglui Shugg Ch'shagg'nafl_  
This heavy grimoire is written entirely in abyssal save for one line at the end, which in celestial reads: “We were children and lost ones and dreamed past the threshold of our worlds to cross the realm of dreams.” The tome is banned in almost all places which worship the Seer of Light; outside the evil cults, only the followers of the STARWALKERS pantheon consider it a legitimate text, and even they find it distasteful. Some religious scholars have noted a similarity between some of the events in this tale and those in the TALE OF SKAIA, the core book for worship of the HEIR OF BREATH, but given the heretical nature of the source they rarely progress far in their studies.

HOLIDAYS  
The church of the Seer is primarily concerned with education and politics, and supports national and civic functions, also observing several holy festivals.

_Promise Day_  
On the first day of the new year, followers of the Seer take one ribbon for each promise or resolution they wish to make, and tie them to a tree or post. Through the year, as they keep the promises, they take the ribbons down; if a ribbon falls down on its own or is stolen, the promise is judged best forgotten.

_First Seed_  
It is traditional for the first planting season of the year to start with a ceremony in which a tree is planted and divinations and auguries for the following year are taken. This occasion can be either solemn or joyful, depending on the omens received.

_Summer Solstice_  
On the longest day of the year, a grand feast is held in honour of the Seer and her symbol burning overhead. A day-long party is held by most communities that worship her, including formal dances and the giving of small but elaborate gifts.

_Stardance Festival_  
The Stardance festival is held on the Autumnal Equinox. Children go on treasure hunts and in the evening there are dances for all ages.

[ ](http://fc08.deviantart.net/fs71/i/2013/065/d/5/seer_of_light_by_persephone_the_fish-d5wca4u.jpg)

Seer Of Light Portrait by [proserpine-in-phases](http://proserpine-in-phases.tumblr.com/)


	12. ==> Jake: Where In The Blue Blazes Are You?

_Important Note: This chapter takes place the evening BEFORE every other chapter so far!_

## ==> Jake: Where In The Blue Blazes Are You?

The excitement of waiting for your sister seems to have imbued your feet with the urge to wander, because this evening's constitutional has been excessively long. Your ramble has taken you along winding tunnels and across high ledges, barely even noticing the splendid majesty of the underground caverns as your thoughts twisted and whirled around the idea of finally meeting your birth family. Not that you want to malign your parents or your clan, of course, not at all, but... you know you don't fit in there. No matter how hard you try, you're not a dwarf. You know you're not really quite an elf either, and if you're going to be honest- which a gentleman always should- that's the main source of your nerves. What if you don't fit in with your birth kin, either? What if you're too strange, too dwarvish, too different for them?

You tell yourself to stop being a silly fool. Your sister is a Guardian of the Greenweald, for goodness sakes, she's a dashed sight stranger than you'll ever be.

Your torch, picked up and lit when you left the clanhold, flickers uncertainly. You pause to look at the flame and with mild alarm note that it's more than half burned down. Still, no need to panic. You meandered quite astoundingly to get here, it should be no problem to get home on a straighter, faster route. You turn around and head back down the passage you came from, retracing your steps towards home.

An hour or so later, it is starting to dawn on you that you may have been an utter saphead to wander quite so far from home. Your attempt to go back the way you came has left you standing in an unfamiliar smallish cave where the stalagmites and stalactites have grown together into hourglass pillars, smooth mineral deposits glittering in the light coming from the torch you picked up back at the clanhold. The flickering flame illuminates the mouths of several narrow, jagged tunnels running into the mountain, the glisten of wet walls and sound of running water signs of what carved this network of passages through the deep strata. You have no idea which one leads towards the clanhold.

You are trying to remain chipper, but under the circumstances it's difficult to maintain a cheery demeanour. The torch is starting to gutter alarmingly with every mineral-rich drop of water from above, and you're fairly sure that your misguided venture has put you a good few hundred yards below the surface line. You're outside hold lands, your only light source is dying, and regardless of what you spend every day trying to prove to the clan you are horribly, uncomfortably aware that you are a surface-born elf and entirely unsuited to the subterranean environment.

Another drop from a forming stalactite above falls into the flame of your torch with a low hiss, and you twitch nervously. The shadows jump and flicker around you, and you pause to take a steadying breath. Just because you were careless enough to get yourself lost doesn't mean you have to be a bloody coward about it. Why, if your brothers and sisters saw you being such a ninny, jumping at shadows, you'd never live it down! You look again at the dark maws of the caves, and realise that you've managed to lose track of which one you entered by. Moving at this point will probably get you even more lost- but then, staying still is hardly going to get you found. You do a slow circuit of the cave and choose an exit where you think you feel a breeze.

Within minutes the world has once again shrunk to a small patch of torchlight and a rough tunnel of water-slick rock, stretching ahead and behind you into deep shadow. Generally you're not a religious sort of chap but you don't think it'll hurt your chances too badly that your lips are moving in whispered prayer. You're not sure the Smithlord's listening, though, because the low guttering of your torch has become erratic flickering, and as you try to fumble in your pouch to see if you have something, anything that will burn you accidentally drop it into a gathering pool of moisture.

The tunnel plunges into perfect blackness with a small splash and hiss. The only sound you can hear is your own breathing, ragged and heavy in the oppressive silence. You think it's jolly unfair that you're going to die this way when you had so much to look forward to, and you can't help feeling a little guilty about the distress you're going to cause your parents- both dwarven and elvish. Oh, gosh darn it, you even brought your father's pistol out here, so he's going to lose that too. Silly though it is, the thought of the precious weapon lying forgotten for all eternity in a dank, lightless cave upsets you rather more than the idea of your skeleton next to it. At least dying doesn't make you feel like an utter cad.

Shakily, you reach out until your trembling hand touches damp stone, and with your fingers brushing the uneven surface of the wall you take a few short steps forward. While there's life there's hope, and as long as you keep moving there's still a chance that you'll get out of this in one piece. Maybe you'll stumble back into Quartzkin lands, or perhaps you'll find a cave of glowing edible mushrooms, or a tribe of friendly troglodites... it's not _likely_ , but it's possible. Your steps grow a little bolder as you continue onwards; you occasionally trip or stub your toe on rock, but it's impossible not to feel a little better when the worst has already happened and you're still up and moving.

Your foot slips out from under you before you can react and you flail blind in the darkness, your body a treacherous alien thing as gravity snatches it and drags you down what feels like a slope made of razors and sandpaper. You roll and slide and yell and grab at the things that bash into you, fingers scrabbling and nails cracking on things that either give way and tumble over you or provide hard, unyielding obstacles for you to smash against. Your head slams into something and the darkness blossoms into red and white sparkles, like popping gunpowder caps inside your skull. You scrape to a halt lying on your backpack, unable to tell if your eyes are open or closed, and groan because every single inch of you is burning with scrapes and cuts and bruises.

After a while- you don't know how long- you notice that the blackness behind your eyelids is slightly darker than the blackness around you. You blink muzzily and roll your head over to see a dim ball of light hovering several dozen feet away; it glows with a ghostly greenish light, and despite the stinging ache and pain in your muscles you roll over and start pushing yourself upright. That light is either a deep-dwelling creature or the arcane power of one, and nothing that lives this far down is friendly. Your hands start fumbling to load your gun as you see a pair of shadows silhouetted by the light, both bipedal and elfin, and your breath catches in your throat as one points to you and shouts something in a hissing alien tongue. You scrabble for your powder horn, cursing the darkness as they draw closer; you don't think you suffered any permanent damage from your tumble, but any tussle at this point is going to be over spectacularly fast one way or another. Your hand tightens around the butt of your father's pistol, heart pounding as the creatures approach.

As they come nearer, their dim figures resolve into two black-skinned, black-armoured, white-haired elves. Drow. They each have a crossbow ready, loaded and aimed at you, and it is with a strange combined rush of fear and relief that you lower your gun. Despite the strange angles and design of the weapons, you are quite certain that either of them could put a bolt through you if they so wished, and there is no way that you could shoot both of them first. You note that each of them has a symbol across their chest, possibly some sort of clan signifier. The lessons your parents taught you come ringing back through your head; the drow are a civilised people ruled by great families, but their callous cruelty is unmatched by any denizens of the Underdark.

One of the drow draws a slim sword and levels it at you. Your eyes fix on the sharp blade as he hisses something; you shake your head, not understanding, and with a roll of his eyes he switches to High Elvish.

"You stand," he growls, voice surprisingly deep. You nod shallowly, careful of the razor edge near your throat, and finish standing upright. You are slightly taller than either drow, a fact that seems to irritate your captors. The one holding the sword says something to his companion in their own tongue, and then you are being relieved not only of your weapon but of your pack and pouches, too. You don't resist. If they had wanted you dead you would be a corpse already, and from your father's stories you know that it's best to wait until a better chance for escape presents itself. You hold yourself back from flinching as businesslike hands pat down your body, presumably searching for hidden weapons and tools that you don't possess. The drow who searched you steps back and his comrade flicks his head towards the direction they approached from.

"Move, sunwalker," he says, and you start walking. The blade retreats from your throat, partly so that you don't decapitate yourself as you pick your way across the uneven floor but mostly so that the owner can fall in behind you and hold it pressed in the small of your back. The light hovering just over your shoulder is more than bright enough for you to see your way and your head is clearing fast, but you are sure to stumble clumsily a few times as you go. You aren't sure where they're taking you, but given your current predicament if they underestimate you then so much the better.

You hear your destination before you see it, the distant babble of foreign voices rising and falling over the rumble of wheels on rock. There is a distant glow in the darkness, as anaemic and chill as the light marking your path, and as you draw closer you see an entire parade of drow in carts and carriages and on foot, pale greenish lanterns adorning poles and hooks throughout the crowd. Before today you have barely seen any drow, let alone what seems enough to fill a small clanhold, and everything from their strongly-coloured clothing to the eerily organic designs carved on the carriages fills you with a sense of otherness that raises goosebumps on your arms. A sharp shove in the small of your back propels you towards the lead carriage, even as you note that despite the strangeness the atmosphere of the journey is casual, even joyous.

Your guards prod you onwards until you are keeping pace with an elegant black conveyance, details and decoration picked out in lines of silver and gold. Anyone else might mistake them for the true metals, but your mother's lessons have given you a sharp eye and you recognise alchemical creations when you see them. The same materials display proudly the symbol that adorns your captors, and it is that more than anything that tells you who is in the carriage. The guard ahead of you pulls the carriage door open and jumps in; before you can react, you are pushed in after to sprawl in a truly undignified fashion across a thick blue carpet.

Inside, the carriage is lit by the same ghostly lanterns. They show you filigree seats and plush cushions, as well as the boots of your guards and a pair of expensive velvet shoes. You look up to see a drow woman regarding you curiously; her obsidian skin is almost smooth and flawless, but a few fine lines at the corners of her eyes tell her true age. From the ornate and costly nature of her dress, you surmise that must be the head honcho, and you meet her brilliant turquoise gaze without flinching as you kneel upright. Her lips twitch in amusement for an instant before one of the guards leans over and, saying something in their strange hissing tongue, passes her your pistol.

She turns it over in her hands and to your dismay seems more curious than puzzled. Manicured fingernails run along the barrel, feeling their way around the trigger guard and the powder pan, and from the intensity of her narrow-eyed gaze you sense that she is taking detailed mental notes. You glare fiercely at her, but she doesn't even notice. Not so the guards; one snaps something impatient and harsh-sounding in your direction. You snort derisively, and it seems to translate well enough because he responds by grabbing a handful of your hair and dragging it down, forcing you to bow your head to the shaking carriage floor.

The tussle gets the attention of the noblewoman, who looks up in mild irritation and snaps something at the guard. Your sigh of relief as he backs off is stifled as she grabs your face in her fingertips. Her grip is wickedly strong, and you are certain you will have bruises on your cheeks where she has gripped you.

"This is one of the new dwarven weapons," she says, in the sort of flawless High Elven that you secretly wish you spoke. "How did you come to possess it?"

You keep your mouth stubbornly closed, and her grip strengthens until you are certain her fingers are going to burst through your skin. Good golly, but she's strong! You nearly bite your tongue keeping quiet, but you manage it, and after a moment she snorts and uses her hand to turn your head thoughtfully from side to side. She studies you every bit as carefully as she did your pistol, and seems satisfied when she releases you with a slight wrench that makes you lurch forward as she sits back.

“A tuatha in dwarven clothes, with a dwarven weapon, wandering blind and alone on the deep roads,” she says, presumably to you as she is still talking in High Elven. “You present an enigma, boy, and like the Seer herself I do so adore to unravel a mystery.” Her fingers stroke the barrel of the gun- _your_ gun- possessively. “I certainly appreciate the opportunity to study one of these devices more closely,” she adds. A vulpine smile appears on her face. “I wonder if the Lady Kutsanmis will try to marry me another of her sons when I am able to arm her guards with these?” She chuckles and leans back in her seat. “Yes, I like that idea. Make one of her valued children second string to the wastrel.” She winks at you. “Don't go telling her now, little one, or else I might just give you to my new husband as a wedding gift.”

You have no idea who this Lady Kutsanwhatsit is, but you nod anyway. Getting caught up in pernicious drow politics seems like a terribly poor idea to you, and something about the way she mentioned giving you to her new husband made a chill run up your spine. You watch warily as she gives a few swift orders to one of her guards, and the man bows his head respectfully to her before jumping out of the carriage. You wait in silence for a few minutes before he returns, carrying a small wooden box. The noblewoman smiles as she takes it off him, and opens it to reveal a slim golden collar. It has a loop for a chain or leash at the back, and the same crest that adorns all her possessions is picked out on the front in semiprecious stones.

You don't need to understand the language in the slightest to know what her next order is, and this time you fight back. It does you absolutely no good at all; one of the guards grabs each arm and a firm hand on each shoulder stops you from wriggling out of it. You are forced to kneel helplessly as the noblewoman leans forwards and snaps the collar around your neck. You are released and the sudden loss of resistance makes you fall backwards with an unpleasant thump. One hand comes up to run along the smooth metal at your throat; it's not uncomfortable, not really, but just knowing it's there is making you feel sick.

The noblewoman yawns theatrically and gives a few more orders. You are grabbed again and hauled to your feet, and this time you don't bother offering resistance as the drow drag you out of her carriage and back down the line of the procession. Your possessions are all left behind, and futile as it is you secretly hope that the vile harpy accidentally shoots herself. The guards are surprisingly gentle as they half lead, half lift you into a cart and clip a leash to the back of your collar. It's long enough to let you sit on one of the long wooden benches, and as you look around you notice that your fellow cart-riders are sporting the same style of neckwear. Most of them are drow, but you notice a couple of goblins at the far end of the cart, and you think there might be a dwarf in the next cart back.

You try smiling at your fellow captives, but the ones who don't just ignore you glare back. You sigh and look down at your hands, wondering where you're headed and how you're ever going to get out of this sorry pickle.  


### Suggestions Used

 _Ms Arano_ \- Jake: Have BOTHERSOME LUCK before your sister can even arrive!

 _Unholygrunt_ \- Jake: get ambushed by drow.

 _MASK_ \- Jake: where in blazes are you?

 _Ephemeral_Dreamer_ – Jake: Be cheerfully unaware of just how lost you are...

The suggestion “ _Ephemeral_Dreamer_ \- Jake: get lost in the forest” has been not quite really used. But it almost has!

[System Notes](http://celynbrum.tumblr.com/post/59698791107/lodad-system-notes-chapter-12)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had to make a house rule for being grappled by multiple opponents. For initiating the grapple it's simple enough to use Aid Another rules, but when the grappled creature tries to escape LOGICALLY it should be harder when more than one person is grappling. The rules do not seem to mention this situation, so I went with adding +5 as a sort of extra Aid Another bonus to the primary grappler's CMD (since CMD is designed to be a higher number than CMB).
> 
> From here on out, chapters will be based on how many suggestions I can clear at once, so let's see what happens!
> 
> EDIT:  
> Moved the notes from the top of the chapter to the bottom, and farmed system notes out to Tumblr.


	13. ==> Terezi: Interrogate Suspicious Character

## ==> Terezi: Interrogate Suspicious Character

A wise old elf once said “it is easier to ask forgiveness than permission.” You have long since modified the maxim to: “it is easier to pretend that you don't need permission at all.” The more flagrantly you flout proper behaviour, the less likely you are to get called on it. On this philosophy you start to take charge of the situation as soon as the healer has put your throat back together. You still feel like death warmed up, but if you don't act fast then someone else _will_.

The Holy Sister doesn't have the skill to heal more than one of you, so after she makes sure that the injured are stable you send her to fetch more help. That gives you maybe half an hour; you spend the first five minutes commandeering the nearby Guardroom. It's in the base of a small, round tower attached to the gate, and apart from the door the only access is via a trapdoor to the roof. You order it locked as you make sure Cherry Candy is manacled to a nice sturdy chair. You haven't tried to arrest the Kutsanmis boy- that would be pushing it too far- but he's followed you anyway, trailing after the casteless intruder like a lost puppy. The House Guards are watching him with a mixture of irritation and uncertain fear that makes you want to giggle, but you manage to keep a straight face as you solemnly order them to do exactly what they were doing anyway. They nod, happy to have someone in charge.

Finally, you chase out everyone who isn't a Lawkeeper or a prisoner, pointing out that Gamzee can be guarded just as well from outside the door _unless you want to question the integrity of an Initiate of the Seer, Guardsman_. You and two members of your command are left, you sitting across the wooden card table from the unconscious intruder, your Eyes watching over Gamzee. You study the Kutsanmis scion as he slumps against the wall, staring wordlessly at the ceiling. There is no sign of whatever fury possessed him earlier and that concerns you. Nobody is a good enough actor to hide that. Like everyone else, you have always assumed that the Kutsanmis family locked their son away for being a drug-addled hedonist with no sense of responsibility or duty to his kin. And while he certainly is all of those things, you're starting to think that popular opinion has the cause and effect upside down.

You are also fairly certain that Gamzee Kutsanmis is out of his mind.

He jumps a little when you lean in close to him; not frightened, just surprised that you were there at all. “Hey, lawsis,” he says with a lopsided grin. It looks a little nervy, and his purple eyes flick past you to look at the bloody, battered figure manacled to the chair. You pointedly follow his gaze. It doesn't escape his notice.

“You're gonna heal him up okay, right?” he asks, more hopeful than you would have expected. You drum your fingers on the table thoughtfully.

“Who is he?” you ask. Gamzee says nothing, and you reach out to grab the backpack recovered from the intruder. Rooting through it, you shove aside a tatty blanket and pull out a couple of bundles of dried food.

“Looks like you were planning a long trip,” you comment, stacking the rations neatly. There's a small pouch of pesh in there and you make a show of studying it carefully. Technically it's illegal, but you're not going to hang Candy-Eyes for one measly dose when the Kutsanmis kid stinks of the stuff. You don't think Gamzee even knows he's not meant to have it, and you know the ratling doesn't care. You grimly wonder how it is that the law breaks down so badly at both ends when you're all supposed to be under the watchful gaze of the Seer.

“So, he's not your dealer, or he would have brought more,” you say, laying the drug aside. “And he's scruffy for a whore, although you do seem pretty attached to him...”

For a moment Gamzee's face carries a flash of that hidden anger. Not his lover, then. Interesting. Your fingers, still searching the bag, brush against something in the bottom corner under the blanket. You grab it and draw out a battered book, the once slim volume augmented by crudely glued-in pages and tied shut with string. Curious, you start to pick open the knot.

“Don't!”

Your head snaps sharply up and you stare at the wide-eyed Kutsanmis scion, who has pushed forward from the wall and is reaching for the book in your hand. He freezes, and for a long moment you stare at each other.

“Why not?” you ask. He looks uncertain, and you let the leap of victory in your chest become a triumphant smile. This is clearly important evidence.

Before you can study the book further there is a knock at the door, and you set it down on the table before going to answer. Your blade is ready as you turn the handle: when you see the Lady Kutsanmis outside you almost drop it. You manage to retain enough composure to sheathe the weapon and bow; the Lady sweeps in past you and narrows her eyes at Gamzee, still slouched in the corner. A nervous-looking man in Sylphite jade steps in after her and gives you a professional nod, which you return.

“Why have you detained my son?” the Lady demands. You bow again for good measure, a small incline that reminds of your status even as it respects hers.

“As you can see, the primary perpetrator has not been in any fit state to answer questions,” you reply smoothly. “I thought it best to keep the young Lord in a place of safety while I asked him what he could recall.”

The Lady studies her son disdainfully. “You could have saved your breath. He's a fool.”

You mutter something vaguely affirmative as Gamzee looks downcast, and contemplate the consequences of striking a powerful noblewoman. You can still recall his tearful pleading in the courtyard; _I'll be good_ , he'd said, promising like a hatchling who doesn't understand right from wrong, only in trouble or not. It's hard to shake off the lingering feeling that he should be sent to the Sylphite healers, not a marriage altar.

As if your thinking of it summoned the thought, the Lady Kutsanmis turns back to you. “The Lady Yetenekli will be arriving shortly. I need to make him presentable.”

There's no direct order in there, no explicit instruction to a member of the Temple, but you know that this isn't a point to argue. You've got all you're getting from Gamzee Kutsanmis, at least for the moment.

“I would like to send Lawkeeper guards with him,” you say instead. If you can't question the boy, you can at least be assured of his safety from assassins.

“Why?” the Matriarch asks. You stare at a point just above her knees; to meet her gaze would be an unacceptable challenge to her authority right now.

“I believe your son may still be in danger,” you explain. “Until I am done questioning the intruder, we must assume that our security has been compromised.”

The Lady Kutsanmis glares at you. “Your security.”

“Ours, ma'am,” you reply firmly. “And we did catch the intruder. I simply want to avoid a repeat incident.”

There is a long pause, and then the Matriarch sighs. “Very well.” She makes an impatient gesture towards her son. “Come along, Gamzee.”

The boy gets unsteadily to his feet, but doesn't follow his mother as she strides to the door. You stare fixedly at your boots when the Lady Kutsanmis turns in the doorway, not wanting to draw the ire you can feel bubbling off her. “Is there a problem?” the Matriarch asks coldly.

“Can my bro come with?” Gamzee says. There is a swish of fabric as the Lady Kutsanmis strides back past you, and you wince at the crack of flesh as she slaps her son.

“How _dare_ you!” she hisses. “Do you think I am an utter fool? A mewling infant, blind to what happens in my own house? I have tolerated your juvenile obsessions this long, but no more. You disobey my orders, you attack my guards, you plot with gutter trash to betray your own kin, and you think you can ask me for _favours_?” Her voice drops and you strain your ears to listen, but she is whispering directly into Gamzee's ear and her voice is too soft to be heard. Whatever she says, though, it seems to end the argument- she strides for the door again, and this time Gamzee follows, casting a pleading glance your way as he leaves the building. You make a gesture to your Lawkeepers and they both nod, following the Kutsanmis scion to continue their protection. At least you can be assured of his safety from outside assassins for the moment.

As the door closes you settle back on your chair. The Sylphite healer reaches into his bag and pulls out a small glass phial, stoppered with wax.

“The temple sent me with this and their compliments, ma'am,” he says respectfully. “And her Eminence says to remind you that we are not made of gold so you'd better not get your throat slit again this month.”

You laugh as you take the potion and draw your dagger to pry off the seal. “Her Eminence can be assured that I have no such plans,” you tell him. Objectively you would guess he's probably a few years older than you, but he seems younger. Followers of the Sylph rarely have to deal with the darker side of elven nature the way Seer Initiates do.

The potion goes down in one swig, cooling and warming at once as the magic flows into your flesh. What hits your stomach is likely nothing more than water, the divine power already soothing your injuries and knitting your wounds. You sigh in relief as the dull ache in your throat goes away and the pain lifts from your limbs. You retrieve the ragged book from the card table as the Sylphite starts to attend to Cherry Candy and start to leaf through the pages.

The pages are packed with words and sketches. You can make out two distinct hands, one whose elegant calligraphy is ruined only by the fracturing charcoal the writer was using and the other consisting of neat but plain blocks of text, carefully written and atrociously spelled. The latter passages are interspersed with rough images, strange symbols, and to your surprise carefully inscribed blocks of Infernal. When you examine the lines in the Holy Tongue, you see that they are mostly incomplete sentences or even words, some of them running together in a baffling manner. Coupled with the way the symbols are almost sketched rather than written, you'd say the writer didn't understand what they were transcribing, but you can't think where he might have copied it from. You are naturally assuming that your captive wrote this: the blocky writing certainly suits what you have seen of him.

A name in ordinary undercommon catches your eye; _Gamzee Makara_. You frown, because although they are clearly close you wouldn't have suspected that the Kutsanmis boy would give his Soul Name to a Casteless brat. Yet that is what this looks like. There are some other names on the same page, and you decide to look into them later. They're probably friends of Cherry Candy, and with the true names of their inner selves available it shouldn't be too hard to find Sollux Captor, or Aradia Megido, or Kanaya Maryam...

You freeze as you read the name. It has to be a coincidence. You never knew the Godmarked Sylphite's Soul Name, and there has to be more than one person called Kanaya in the city. Except that right underneath it says “Terezi Pyrope” and you _know_ you never told anyone that. How did a ratling from the Shanties learn your best-kept secret? More importantly, _who has he told?_

There is a warm glow and a smell of burning sand, and you look around sharply as the last vestiges of the Sylph's power fade and your captive muzzily starts to come to. There's blood on his eyelashes and it glues them together; you use the few seconds it takes him to open his eyes to close the book and settle it on the table in front of you.

“That will be all, thank you,” you tell the Sylphite. He leaves gladly with a respectful bow, and as the door clicks shut you lay your hands casually on the table. You see Cherry Candy glance around the room and take note of how you're the only two in here; he weakly tries to lift his manacled arm before letting it drop back to the chair with a pained wince. He looks mostly dead still, but you don't need him healthy. You need him talking.

“This is an interesting book,” you say brightly, one hand still on his journal. “Where did you steal it?”

He glares at you, fierce despite the grey pallor on his skin. “Fuck you. That's mine.”

You grin broadly, your very best aggravating smirk. “Sure it is. You do realise that when we find the rightful owner, they're probably going to press charges.”

He sneers at you. Actually sneers, even though he has more blood outside his body that inside it right now. “Like we don't both know that I'm gallowsbait already. I'd be amazed that I woke up at all, except Lady Fancypants probably wants me conscious when they start the dismemberment. You want to threaten me with pretend legal charges for crap I didn't do, go right ahead. I literally have no remaining shits to give.”

You lean forward. “You stink of the Shanties, ratling. You couldn't write your own name, let alone keep notes.” You lower your tone to sound disappointed, shake your head sadly. “Really, I don't think we're going to get anywhere in this relationship if you can't be honest with me.”

He squints at you and for a moment your heart pounds, afraid that he's caught you in the outright lie, but then his head droops forward and jerks back up angrily. He scowls. “This is not a relationship, you insane bluebelly broad. This is you tying me to a chair and asking inane questions about a dumb book full of beetleshit. How do I know it's full of beetleshit, I hear you ask? Why, because I fucking wrote it, of course! Because I'm not a peshhead fuckwit who can't even hold a stick without applying it to the inside of their nasal cavity; I can form actual letters and associate them with sounds. If the concept of a literate Shanty kid makes your head explode then I'm not even slightly sorry. Thanks to you I'm going get hung, drawn and quartered and Gamzee's going to spend the rest of his life being fucked over by whatever heartless witch her fucking imperiousness has sold him to. I personally hope you die disgraced and in gut-wrenching agony.”

He stops, chest heaving for breath, and you tap your fingers on the table. “So, what you're saying is, you wrote this?”

“YES!” he yells, before bursting into a fit of coughs. You wait politely for him to stop, then lean in across the table.

“In that case, what I would like to know is where the _fuck_ you got my Soul Name,” you say sweetly, giving him your very best menacing smile.

He stares at you, wide-eyed and suddenly looking very young. “...what?”

You slam your hand down on the book. “Don't pretend you don't know what I'm talking about!” you snap. “I know my own name when I see it! Where did you learn it? Who told you? Have you been following me? _Who hired you?_ ”

“No... I didn't...” he protests, retreating as far into the chair as he can as you loom over him. “I fucking swear, okay, I don't have any clue who you are, it's a fucking coincidence, that's all it is, just some cosmic fucking joke...”

He would be pretty convincing if you didn't have proof of his lies. “Do you really expect me to believe that?” You stab a finger down on the book. “You reek of deceit. It's not just me, you know. You have Gamzee Kutsanmis' name on the same page! And his isn't the only name I know there, either! Are you going to try and persuade me those are coincidences, too?”

He narrows his eyes at you, and to your surprise you can see tears welling up in them. “It's a coincidence,” he says through gritted teeth. “There is no way, not even the slightest fragment of a ghost of a chance, that it's actually you.”

You fold your arms. “And why is that?”

“Because it's not real!” he yells, and the edge of panic in his voice is unsettling. “Understand? It's not fucking real!”

Something is definitely amiss here. You sit back in your chair, wait for him to stop gulping for breath, and let your fingers patter thoughtfully on the journal.

“What isn't real?” you ask him. He fidgets uncomfortably.

“You have to promise not to laugh,” he says, voice uneven. “I mean it. Not even a fucking snicker.”

You nod solemnly. “My oath as an Initiate.”

He chews on his lip nervously for a few moments, before guiltily blurting: “It's a journal of my trance visions, okay?”

He glares like he's expecting you to laugh. You don't see why you would. You're usually pretty good at seeing the funny side of things, and you guess a Shanty thug keeping a vision diary like a fanciful hatchling is objectively hilarious, but you're a little caught up in how he's either the best liar you've ever met or actually did learn your truename while he was resting one night. You're no expert in clairvoyant visions, but you have heard tell of the goddesses speaking through mortals before in times of need. Your mind races as you study the casteless felon opposite you.

“It's not that fucking shocking,” he snaps. You realise you were staring. You also realise that you believe him. There's something honest about him, abrasive and obviously criminal as he is.

“We have to get you to the Temple,” you say, getting out of your seat. His already pale face blanches a few more shades.

“What?”

You frown thoughtfully, pacing a little. “It's where you should have been all along, with this kind of blessing. Even as casteless, you should have known...”

“NO!”

You look up in surprise and catch it, a brief downward flicker of his eyes, a faint shift of his unmanacled arm that tells you he's hiding something. He flinches back as you crouch down and grab the offending limb.

“GET THE FUCK OFF ME!!!” he yells, scrabbling at you. He's still too weak to do anything dangerous, and you easily shove back two layers of grubby sleeve to reveal a thick wrap of cloth scraps. He hollers like you're murdering him as you pull the rags apart, which only spurs you on to discover what he's so desperate to hide.

You see a few flashes of paler grey as you tug at the covering, but it isn't until it slips and you're holding his wrist still with a grip tight enough to bruise that you can see it. For a moment you aren't quite sure what you're looking at. A long stylised gash runs across his forearm, looking more like a scar than anything else until you see the three flowing runnels that stretch up his arm from it. If he lifted his hand over his head, it would look like it was running down his arm; as it is, it's upside down, not in the least bit elegant or subtle, and for a moment you think it might be an ordinary birthmark. Then the memory of long dull afternoons spent learning about heresies and illegal cults come back to you. You recognise the symbol and what it means in the same moment.

The Knight of Blood.

He's marked like you. Except not. Looking back up at him feels oddly slowed, like moving through syrup, and you can see the naked fear written all over his face. He knows what you're thinking: he's a monster, an abomination. You have to purge him, purify the world of his taint. It's everything you've ever been taught to believe. It's your duty. It's only the only right and just course of action.

It's empty lessons echoing in your skull, because the foe is a frightened thug from the Shanties who secretly writes his trance visions in a journal. Perhaps if he was a cultist, if he'd made a choice, but you know better than anyone that he never asked for a godly patron. You used to wonder what your life would have been like, if you hadn't been chosen, if you'd just been a normal hatchling. Sometimes it was hard to handle the weight of expectations and the knowledge that your life could have so easily been different.

He's your enemy. He's your kin. Just like Kanaya was, once.

A shout goes up from outside and you start in surprise.

“THE LADY YETENEKLI HAS ARRIVED!”

You turn back and see the bright red eyes of your Cherry Candy Captive watching you, cornered and wary. Gently you start to wrap the cloth back around his wrist, covering up the illegal symbol. He follows your actions as you tug his sleeve back down over the wrap.

“What the fuck are you doing?” he asks. “Shouldn't you be calling in every Eye and Templar and Inquisitor in the city right now to come and spread the holy wrath?”

“So you know what that mark means,” you say, walking back around the table and stuffing his journal back into his pack.

“I know that it's the symbol of some retard god who decided to make me even more of a fucking pariah than every other casteless asshole in the Shanties. Because obviously that was exactly what my life needed.”

For a moment you smirk. His tone is so disgruntled, you can imagine him stomping up to the Knight of Blood himself and demanding an explanation. Maybe even carving a few chunks out with those sickles. It's ridiculous, but somehow it's true as well in a way you can't really define.

“I want to show you something,” you tell him. He frets as you turn your back and start to tug at your cloak. You can hear him even if you can't see it.

“Great, just my fucking luck. I get the crazy Lawkeeper. Let me guess, you collect eyeballs. Or fingers. What...”

His voice dies away as you slip the cloak off your neck and pull the heavy mass of hair aside one-handed. You can only imagine the look on his face as he stares at your Godmark. You let him get a good eyeful before you pull your cloak back on and turn around.

“So are you going to kill me?” he asks.

“I hope not,” you reply. “I'm Terezi.”

“Pyrope,” he finishes absently. “Girl of my fucking dreams.”

You laugh. “Well, you've got my name,” you point out. “More of it than any other soul alive.”

He stares at you for a long moment, thin and grey-pale and still covered in too much blood, and sighs.

“Karkat Vantas,” he says.

You think it suits him pretty well.

  


### Suggestions Used

 _unholygrunt -_ Terezi even if the thief had no attention of killing the Scion, he managed to break in and make you guys look like chumps. You need to question him as soon as possible to patch up all the holes in you security and to do that you need him healed and awake.

 _Firebird766 -_ If a nobody from the Shanties can get in, clearly something is wrong here. You need to give the security detail a full chewing out for letting someone like that slip in, because if that thief can get by them an assassin would have no trouble at all. Use that as leverage for making House Kutsanmis let you heal the thief and question him.

 _Ephemeral_Dreamer -_ Terezi: Don't allow them to be taken away from you. Something is fishy here... and these two are at the centre of it!

 _Ephemeral_Dreamer -_ Terezi: Instruct the guards to bring those two to the temple as soon as the healer has stabilized the thief (can't have him die before you find out what's going on...)

 _MASK -_ Terezi: get your men (and gamzee and the thief) off these streets--you're much too exposed here, and gamzee getting assassinated while you've just gotten him back into custody would leave you in a rather poor light to both his family and your higher-ups. Perhaps requisition some space in a nearby building while you wait for your medics to get there (this gives you some time to question gamzee during the wait as well).

 _MASK -_ Terezi: Don't allow them to be taken away from you. karkat would likely be summarily executed for both trespassing and being casteless, which means any information or secrets he may have would die with him. And investigate while he's in holding – what is a casteless even DOING knowing someone of Gamzee's status?

 _ttd0000 –_ Terezi: Interrogate the... kidnapper?

 _Ms Arano –_ Terezi: Explain the situation to the Kutsanmis matriarch

 _Ephemeral_Dreamer -_ Gamzee: Get arrested. Try your best to protect Karkat. Don't let them separate you.

 _MASK -_ Karkat: wake up covered in blood

[System Notes](http://celynbrum.tumblr.com/post/59699006587/lodad-system-notes-chapter-13)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Time off work + backlog of suggestions = early bonus chapter!
> 
> So yeah. That was a thing that happened. Also this chapter is a monster. I considered leaving it on more of a cliffhanger, where Terezi hadn't decided what to do. Then I realised that would result in a flood of suggestions on which way she would jump and nothing else, which is NOT enough to build a chapter around. So I made the sensible decision that I bet you were gonna ask for anyway, and we can all move on.
> 
> Also it is 12:30am and I may be grouchy-tired. Maybe.
> 
> EDIT:  
> Moved the notes from the top of the chapter to the bottom, and farmed system notes out to Tumblr.


	14. ==> Gamzee: Save Your Motherfucking Best Friend

## ==> Gamzee: Save Your Motherfucking Best Friend

Mother ain't never got her motherfucking anger on so much as this before.

Its the thought what keeps running around your head as a cloud of slaves and servants wrestle you out of the old clothes you put on for travelling and get you ready for something all fancy and uncomfortable what got picked out for you. It's like what you think being in the middle of a river might be like, what with the currents buffeting you back and forth and leaving a motherfucker no kind of control over his own direction. You wince at the sharp tugs on your scalp as someone starts dragging the tangles out of your hair, and cast occasional glances at the motherfucking mage what called this storm down on you. She is waiting by the door, the irritated furrow of her brow the only sign what your mother ain't all chill, and you get to feeling all small and cold inside because she knows, she MOTHERFUCKING KNOWS that you tried to defy her and she's all up and twitchy on account of how you

LET

THE

MOTHERFUCKING

BARD

OUT.

If she didn't need you for her plans so bad, you ain't so sure you'd be seeing anything as even looked like thinking of freedom again. As is, you're not getting nothing out of her except what she's gotta give you, and if you had any kind of sense at all you wouldn't even be up and thinking of trying for more. But then your mind gets to imagining Karbro, battered and bleeding and all up in the hands of the law. Them motherfuckers don't like casteless none. You were all up and hoping for your brother to be saving you, but it looks like you're going to have to get your motherfucking rescue on for him instead.

Luckily, you still have one option that ain't all motherfucking screwed to the hells and back. It ain't all being a thing you want to do- shit, it ain't even being a thing you want to think about doing, not really- but if you got any kind of luck, if any motherfucker up in them heavens gives some kind of a shit about you or your best friend, it could work. So you lie there and you let them motherfuckers pretty you up without even making no peep. It ain't hard to let your mind just wander and your thoughts go all chill, and pretty soon you get to feeling some bit sorry for the poor fucks what got the unenviable task of working on you. Most of the hands what touch you are shaking in fear, and if you move so much as a muscle half the attendants flinch away like they're all up and made of china and you're some sort of motherfucking rock giant here to break them all in to tiny, fragile pieces. Your mother ain't making no shit better, either, hissing and snapping at the worst offenders and sending two unfortunate slaves to get their selves beaten on your account. You try holding still some more after that. It ain't their fault what happened in the courtyard, and it sure as shit ain't no kind of motherfucking unreasonable to be scared of the Bard. You ain't all full of the miracle of remembering what the fuck happened, not clearly, but you live in the same head as the motherfucker, and sometimes you wake up all clean and motherfucking sober. It's like staring down a hole in your own head, all darkness and horror and bad shit inside, and on the worst days you can hear him motherfucking laughing and asking you to come play until you freak the fuck out and drown him with whatever shit you got closest to hand.

Yeah, being scared of the Bard is pretty motherfucking normal, in your book.

You're half-naked and being scrubbed clean of blood when the cry goes up from outside; your mother exchanges a few brief words with the two lawkeepers who followed you up in here, then with a final warning glare at you leaves to go greet your wife-to-be. You can feel your belly getting all knotted up inside. You didn't think none about what you were going to do when she arrived; you weren't supposed to be here any more, you were leaving with your brother, and now shit's all mixed up and you feel sick and scared and you can't do nothing about any of it, which makes your eyes up and start miraculously watering all on their own.

The same clinical sponging that washes off the gore and sweat of your earlier flight attempt mops your face clean of tears. It's gentle but impersonal; nobody moves to comfort you. None of them even motherfucking acknowledge your distress. Makes you want to cry more, makes you want to scream and shout and BREAK their MOTHERFUCKING HEADS and PAINT THE WALLS with their BLOOD, get the MOTHERFUCKING DARK CARNIVAL STARTED up in here...

You squeeze your eyes shut, take a deep steadying breath, and fight back the bubbling anger welling out of your cold centre. There ain't enough to really let Him cut loose again, not today, but you could throw one motherfucking bitch of a screamer tantrum if you were wanting to. Thinking of Karkat's face and reminding yourself how much your brother needs you is enough to make you not want it. You gotta be in control now. Your plan ain't got space for all them feels you got in you, so you ruthlessly scrunch them up and cram them down and bury them under the passive mask you been wearing for years. If this works out, your best friend can help you work that shit out later. If it don't- well, then you ain't really gonna motherfucking care any which way what the Bard gets up to in your skin.

Time passes in a neverending blink, and you ain't really up to noticing how much of it there was. It's later, you know that, because somehow you're all brushed and washed and dressed up like a real respectable motherfucker. You blink slowly as the attendants back away, staring in bemused surprise at your beautiful self in the mirror. A bit skinny around the arms and a bit hollow and haunted in the face, but elsewise you could be looking at one of your brothers, the ones what you're related to by blood. Motherfucking miracles is what it is. You reach out to touch the stranger and your fingers meet those of your reflection, the guy in the mirror looking all spooked as shit. You don't see some ancient evil lurking behind his eyes, just a scared kid who's way too motherfucking young for all this.

Is that motherfucker really you?

“Okay, that's enough,” says someone, and your arm is grabbed by one of the two Lawkeepers. You stare at her for a long minute, bemused by the hatred in her face, before you notice the dent in her helmet and get your remember on that the Bard did a real good job of bashing in her skull earlier. “The Matriarch asked us to deliver you as soon as you were ready, and I'd say you are. Time to get moving.”

You can almost hear her adding _shithead_ to the end of that, words what she wants to up and say and can't, so rather than argue you meekly let her drag you across the room and out the door. She and her companion, the chica what stayed behind to deal with your best friend's mess, both keep some sharp motherfucking eyes on you as they lead you down the corridors. You ain't spent enough time going all over the house that you have the knowing of where you're headed, but you know you're getting close when the iron grip on your arm is released in favour of falling into step behind you. Can't motherfucking introduce you any way else, can they?

You come to a corridor which ends in a pair of heavy double doors, the gilded metal showing frescoes of your kinfolk and all the shit what they up and did in the past. Most of it ain't any kind of pretty so you stare at the floor as you draw close, avoiding the gaze of the House Guards watching you and wondering about the raised babble of voices you can all hear coming from the other side.

The Lawkeeper with the dented helmet nods once to the pair of House Guards, who wordlessly pull the doors open. A hand in the small of your back shoves you forwards and you step out into a land of miracles. Takes everything you got not to gawp at the huge room, lined with long tables what groan under the weight of food and filled with seated people dressed in all the motherfucking colours you ever even thought to imagine. At the far end of the room, a band of musicians are playing, and you stumble forwards as one by one the people in the room turn to look at you. Your mother is all sitting right across the other side in the middle, right in front of the minstrels, and you feel all cold and fluttery again because next to her is a woman in deep blue what you don't recognise none.

The hall echoes with soft music, drowning out your footsteps as you walk down the centre of the room to where the two women sit. You force yourself not to look from side to side, make yourself not be caring none that every motherfucker is getting their stare on at you. Let them look. As you draw closer you can see that the strange woman next to your mother is like to be the same age as her, maybe even older, but other than that there ain't much comparison. She's short where the Kutsanmis Matriarch is tall, softened by fat and smile lines where your Mother is harsh and bony. She don't look too scary and for a moment you up and feel some motherfucking hope. Then dark blue eyes catch your own, and the woman smiles. Your blood freezes to ice and it's a fight to take the next step towards her. Bitch is a Matriarch, same as your mother. Ain't a thing you should be forgetting, most especially not now.

You halt a few steps from their table and bow, the perfect dutiful son.

“Lady Yetenekli, may I present my son Gamzee?” your mother says, her voice projecting around the hall in formal announcement. You straighten up and chance a glance at your betrothed; she returns your gaze with an undisguised look of assessment. Standing all straight, you try not to be grinding your teeth as she examines you like a piece of meat she's up and planning to haggle over. You know as what you ain't even been close to a kindness for all the other souls around you, but you like to think you never gave a one of them that look.

“A pleasure,” your betrothed says with another small smile, this one as empty as the formality. You incline your head towards her politely, not trusting your tongue in the least.

Your mother gives you a sharp look, but is quick to cover. “I apologise for his lateness,” she says. “I assure you it will not happen again.”

The smile grows and you could swear it up and looks more genuine now, if a whole load more hungry. “That is quite alright, Matriarch. You have been a most engaging hostess thus far, and I must thank you for the excellent meal.” She narrows her eyes in amused contemplation. “But now I feel it is the turn of your son to take over my entertainment. With your permission, my Lady, I would ask him the honour of a dance.”

“By all means,” your mother replies, her eyes not leaving your face. You stare at her blankly until another hand takes yours and starts to lead you out into the centre of the room. The Lady Yetenekli is all having rough hands, not calloused like your best friend's but no kind of motherfucking smooth either. She puts one of them hands on your waist and the other in your own, and then the minstrels strike up some slower dancing tune and you're motherfucking moving.

You ain't exactly spent huge periods of your life dancing, unless spinning in circles while singing and shit like that is up and counting, but when she signed off on the marriage contract your mother made motherfucking certain you knew how to follow your partner's lead. You don't tread on no feet, or be sticking elbows where they ain't wanted, and you even figure out how to do a few little twists and fancy-ass motherfucking steps in there that look impressive as all fuck but ain't no kinds of hard. Pretty soon you ain't the only pair treading the floor and your partner has tucked her head up under your chin. You take one last glance at your mother, sitting there like the motherfucking Seer herself to judge you all, and decide you ain't getting no kind of better chance than right now. Your future wife doesn't seem at all surprised when you lower your head to bring your lips next to her ear.

“Hey, I'm all having a motherfucking offer for you,” you whisper. You're close enough to hear her chuckle.

“Is that so?” she asks, voice as soft as your own and dancing with amusement. “And what might a handsome young thing like you have to offer for a dried-up old hag like me?”

You swallow nervously. “Good behaviour.” She doesn't laugh this time, but when you twist your head slightly to be glancing at her you see an eyebrow raised and a smile spreading.

“Well then, you must be either very foolish, or about to present an excellent argument,” she whispers, almost purring. “Because I know you wouldn't want to cross me otherwise.” Her hand tightens against your lower back, the other one sliding up your arm to wind into your hair and tug on it painfully. “Your mother has told me everything about you, and I do mean everything. I'm entirely prepared to handle you if I must. I would dearly prefer not to need to.”

You let a little of the anger seep out, just enough to be ignoring yourself some motherfucking pain and fear. Just enough to be putting on a small grin of your own. “What makes you think that bitch is all knowing everything to tell?” you ask her, and it is more than some bit satisfying to see her eyes widen the tiniest part. “I can scream for motherfucking weeks, did she tell you that? I can live on the motherfucking blood of the servants you send in to feed me. I can throw myself against the motherfucking walls of any place you put me until either I break, or they do. Am I any kind of motherfucking use to you like that?”

“I can feed you potions that will keep you asleep and alive the rest of your life,” she whispers, a vicious hiss in your ear. “Give me enough time and I can make an elixir that strips away every part of your mind but the few primitive bits I need. Although it would be a terrible shame, naturally, to have to do so.”

“So don't,” you say, heart pounding. You knew she was an alchemist, knew from Karkat that those clever motherfuckers could up and do all kinds of magic with their little miracle bottles, but this shit was way past what you were prepared to deal with. You wished you could motherfucking change your mind and back out, but this was it. The last motherfucking chance you were ever gonna get. “This shit ain't about what you need. It's all up and about what you _want_.” You pull her a little closer on the last word, let your breath ghost across her neck, and part of your mind gets to wondering exactly which whore you learned that trick from. “Just think; you take me out all scrubbed up, all chilled out and clean, show me off to your motherfucking friends. Shit, you just did what the Matriarch of the Kutsanmis never fucking could- made something worthwhile out of this motherfucker.” You roll your head over to rest it against hers, cheek to cheek, warm and soft and, as you know so well, almost like being loved. “Best motherfucking behaviour from me, for life. No scandals. No shit. You want to show the bitch up, I'm the tool you want. I'll be the most perfect motherfucking puppet you ever up and pulled the strings of, good for the rest of forever, you just gotta do one thing for me, one single motherfucking thing.”

The hand in your hair changes motion, starts to stroke in a motherfucking MOCKERY of kindly soothing. “Well, you'd have to tell me what you want, darling.”

Now or never. You breathe softly on her neck again, inches away from intimacy, teasing to pretend that you have control when you have MOTHERFUCKING SHIT ALL. “I got a... friend, casteless, what got in some trouble earlier today on account of me. I want him to be okay.” You close your eyes. “I want him with me.”

“That's two things,” your betrothed points out. Your head shoots up and she snorts at the fury in your eyes. “Did you think I wouldn't hear about your little escapade earlier? Sorry, my dearest, but they were still clearing up the courtyard when we arrived, and it's the talk of the entire House.” She taps you gently on the nose, her other hand still stroking your hair. “How do I know that you and your little accomplice won't just make another break for it as soon as we leave here, hmm?”

You grin at her, dizzying heights of adrenaline a better motherfucking drug than any pesh you up and remember taking. “Shit, sister, we only made a break for it so as we wouldn't go and get split the fuck up. He didn't want to be all up and losing this motherfucker, and I... I motherfucking need him, you dig? We all up and figured running was the only way.” You motherfucking pray you weren't right on that.

The look she gives you ain't no kind of thing you can read. “You know, after my first husband died, I knew I was never going to remarry for love,” she says quietly, one hand slipping out of your hair to run across your face as the other goes to cradle your waist again. “Remarrying for power is another matter entirely, but if you're willing to work with me then I see no reason to make this any harder on you than it has to be.”

“So you'll do it?” you ask. Too motherfucking eager. She chuckles at your enthusiasm.

“I'll do my best, darling,” she purrs, leaning in. “But only if you promise me that once we're married, I get to find out how long you really can scream for.”

“Anything,” you say, and mean it. Karkat is going to get some serious shout on at you for this, but it's worth it. If you can save his motherfucking life and keep him close, there ain't nothing you won't give up for your brother. You bow your head and return your concentration to your dancing, trying not to feel Mother's eyes burning into your skull and your hands trembling helplessly as they up and rest on your future wife.  


### Suggestions Used

 _Marycontrary_ \- Since Gamzee's dropped his cover as "too stoned to talk", I'd like him to try intimidate or diplomacy to get Karkat cured and to bring him along as a servant to his marriage. Survival first, escape later.

 _unholygrunt_ \- Gamzee: Save your motherfucking best friend.

 _Ephemeral_Dreamer_ \- Gamzee: try your best to keep Karkat save!

### System Notes:

 **Dancing Skill Check**  
Gamzee's perform check = 16  
DC15 (ENTERTAINING PERFORMANCE) ACHIEVED.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this chapter was close run between Gamzee and another character, and since his commands were all saved from a while ago I was debating which to use... but then I figured what the hell, just go with what I have the most suggestions for rather than getting complicated with the whens and wherefores. That said, I am actually running short on suggestions. Last chapter blew through the bulk of them. So, yaknow, make some more or something? *shrugs*
> 
> In other news, next week, I will also be posting the KNIGHT OF TIME god description! Yay!
> 
> EDIT:  
> Moved the notes from the top of the chapter to the bottom.


	15. -- THE KNIGHT OF TIME --

## THE KNIGHT OF TIME

[ ](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/ak9f7k0qpbwydao/Knight%20of%20Time.png?dl=0)

_Warsinger, the Caller of Ravens, the Legion One, Lord of Broken Blades_

ALIGNMENT: True Neutral

PORTFOLIO: War, Competition, Fire, Sacrifice

DOMAINS: Nobility (Martyr & Leadership), Time*, Song*, War (Tactics), Animal (Feather), Fire (Smoke)

FAVOURED WEAPON: Greatsword

THE KNIGHT OF TIME is a god of the battlefield and the messenger of strife, the patron of all dedicated combatants who measure the beat of life in the heat of every moment.

HISTORY  
The stories told of the Knight are a history of war and conflict; his name is invoked in the accounts of generals, his influence seen in the clash of armies the world over since records began. Tales of his divine dealings speak of him fighting vast hordes of foes and lone opponents alike. His deaths are many, many more than his victories- and yet still the god lives triumphant. Whether he fights for his own glory or the defence of his comrades is in the telling, as the god himself is evasive and his divine communications are prone to exaggerated boast and unrepentant misdirection.

PANTHEONS AND RELATIONSHIPS  
The Knight of Time appears in the worship of four different pantheons as well as individually.

In the PANTHEON OF LIGHT, he is the general of the forces of heaven, and the marshal of their defences. Warlike and unrelenting, he is their protector against all dangers. His nature as a warrior is brought out all the more when he spars with the PRINCE OF HEART; it is commonly said when they fight the stormclouds gather, and that the flash of lightning and crash of thunder is their blades colliding. He nonetheless has a great fondness for the HEIR OF BREATH and the WITCH OF SPACE, who can both mollify his dangerous nature.

As one of the RULERS OF HEAVEN, he is the god of war and sacrifice- both his own, and of others. As the lone warrior and the desperate messenger, he is seen as the last defence against disaster and ruin. He is shown to be like a brother to the HEIR OF BREATH, but only the WITCH OF SPACE is ever thought able to make him smile.

Within the HOLY TRIAD, he is one of three equal deities along with the HEIR OF BREATH and the WITCH OF SPACE, who are again brother and sister. In this pantheon he is more messenger than warrior, and he is more often associated with birds and sacrifice to the point that depictions often show him impaled on a sword. He is the most serious of the Triad, the one who warns of impending danger so that preparations may be made.

Amongst the STARWALKERS, a pantheon whose worship has faded in all but a few lands, he is brother to the SEER OF LIGHT and sometime lover to the SEER OF MIND. His duties as defender are shared with the KNIGHT OF BLOOD, with whom he is ever in competition to outdo, and of the two of them he is seen as embodying the more irresponsible and self-aggrandising aspects of combat and war.

Alone, he is considered the patron of all soldiers, warriors and mercenaries, and even those who do not consider themselves religious will call on him- or curse by his name- in battle.

As an antagonist to other pantheons or deities, he is presented as an arrogant and careless god, who seeks only his own glory and gratification and takes without consideration whatever he desires. He is unpopular with followers of the KNIGHT OF BLOOD, but most reviled of all by followers of the BARD OF RAGE for reasons known only to them.

APPEARANCE AND EMISSARIES  
The Knight of Time is most often depicted as a blond or white-haired aasimar in brilliant red, his eyes covered by a helm, hood or blindfold and wielding a broken greatsword. He is also represented by corvids, either lone or in flocks, and it is common to show him in aasimar form with wings of black feathers or orange flame.

SERVANTS  
Ravens, crows, magpies and other corvids are sacred to the Knight of Time, although all birds of the sky have his favour.

_The Fallen_  
Long ago, a company of mercenaries deserted a battle they had sworn to fight in the Knight's name. They were ambushed and slaughtered as they fled, and the god claimed their souls for his own. Their spirits were transformed into crows, but when the Knight so decrees they become a full company of ghostly soldiers and join battle on the side of his choosing.

_Legendary Piece Of Talking Shit_  
This famed greatsword has been credited with many magical effects, but only two are consistent: firstly, that while it is stunningly easy to break, it can at a word become whole again. Secondly, that it talks incessantly. The otherwise lucky souls who have found and wielded the blade all agree in their accounts that the LPOTS could probably have done without the second power. It is currently lost again.

_Li'l Cal_  
This eerie puppet is associated with three different deities and thus cannot be considered a true servant of the Knight. To those who follow the teachings of the Church of Time, Cal is an omen of doom; a warning that danger too great to handle will soon arrive. To see him on the eve of battle is though to be the worst kind of fortune and a sign of impending defeat or death.

CHURCH  
Temples of the Knight exist in two places; in the hearts of cities, where they act as recruitment centres for every band of sellswords sober enough to stagger in, and beneath makeshift canvas ceilings on the eve of battle. While the temples of a given pantheon do in theory report to a central location, in practise each temple stands alone and yet also together as one- a dichotomy perfectly in keeping with the god's practises.

WORSHIPPERS AND CLERGY  
Clerics of the Knight of Time are True Neutral, Neutral Good, Neutral Evil, Lawful Neutral, or Chaotic Neutral.

Followers of the Knight are for the most part warriors of one kind or another; mercenaries, soldiers, champions, bandits- anyone whose life rests on the edge of a blade and the actions of each and every moment.

The clergy of the Knight are almost all Paladins, Inquisitors, Battle Oracles and Clerics who walk the path of the Holy Vindicator. The most notable are those who guard the temples and fight in his name – the Landstriders. His devout followers are equally dangerous in combat, and often find employment as blades for hire.

TEMPLES AND SHRINES  
Temples to the Knight of Time are most often dark, hot, and full of pounding music. The drums never stop beating, day or night, and those who enter his halls are challenged to make list of their deeds. Any true follower of the Knight knows how to make a shrine with a drum, a campfire, and some comrades to boast to.

HOLY TEXTS  
The holy books of the Church of Time are both a joke and an example; a joke, in that significant portions are either blatantly untrue or claim to be falsehood, and an example in that they are held to be the premier examples of warrior boasts for mortals to strive towards.

_Sick Fires_  
This book, one of the two main texts of the faith, contains nothing but battle poetry. It recounts various fights and battles that the Knight of Time supposedly fought. Rather than quibble over which accounts or versions to include, the priesthood just puts in every story that sounds sufficiently different, leading to multiple contradictory tales.

_Ill Beats_  
This somewhat slimmer book tells a more melancholy saga, although still in poetic form. The stories are set between and around the stories in the other primary Holy Book. All of them are stories of loss, defeat and despair, although the way they are told is darkly humorous.

_Tales From Can Town_  
The origins of this book are lost, but its contents are a series of brightly-coloured shitty pictures that are astonishingly hard to reproduce. They seem to depict some manner of toy township, an argument supported by the captions written in two different hands. It would seem to be a child's picture book, if it didn't veer between incomprehensible and obscene with malicious glee.

HOLIDAYS  
The church of the Knight has little interest in holy days and festivals, but he is often called on formally both before battles and after, whether it be in celebration or in mourning. His followers are not farmers or traders; their work cares little for the seasons, and even less for plans made in times and places of peace.

[ ](http://fc01.deviantart.net/fs70/i/2013/230/9/6/knight_of_time_by_persephone_the_fish-d6ioymm.jpg)

Knight of Time Portrait by [proserpine-in-phases](http://proserpine-in-phases.tumblr.com/)

\--------------  
* Third Party Domains, 4 Winds Fantasy Gaming

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Posting this now because the next chapter is gonna take a few more hours.


	16. ==> Roxy: Get This Partay Statred-There's An Aventur To Get To!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Hero point votes:**  
>  TWO HERO POINTS TO ALLOCATE – VOTE FOR TWO CHARACTERS, OR THE SAME ONE TWICE!  
> VOTING OPEN FOR THREE CHAPTERS (INCLUDING THIS ONE).

## ==> Roxy: Get This Partay Statred-There's An Aventur To Get To!

You haven’t been outside of Porthaven since you were a little girl, and you’re really thinking that this whole running away schtick might just be the totes best idea evar. Dirk’s stories, amazing though they were, failed to do justice to how utterly wonderful it is to be sitting on the grass by a campfire as the sun sinks below the horizon, eating delicious stewed… something… with your bestest buds. The only way this could get any better would be if you had some of the sweet, fiery booze that the brothers used to smuggle to you in the Temple.

Oh, and if your sis wasn't busy spreading her dire predictions of death and doom and stuff, that would be the abs best thing. The thing about having the chosen mouthpiece of the Fateweaver telling you that Armageddon is nigh is that it pretty much kills any sort of party atmosphere. You're trying your best, you really are, but it's hard to even pay attention when you've heard the whole thing before... blah blah endless undead armies blah blah blah world turned to dust blah blah blah all hope extinguished... hey, did that cute wild elf boy over by the other campfire just wave to you?

You are considering the relative merits of various courses of action, ranging from waving shyly back to running over there and body-tackling him into sloppy makeouts, when your pleasant reverie is interrupted by Frigglish jumping onto your shoulders and mewing. The sudden presence of your familiar is startling but it gets your attention back on what your own little circle is doing.

“... totally ridiculous,” Jane is saying, her arms folded across her chest and her back bolt upright. “We can't just run off across the world doing heavens-know-what! We have responsibilities here!”

Dave leans back until he's lying in the grass. “Sorry to break it to you, babe, but Porthaven's part of the world. I know, shocked me too, but apparently the end of everything isn't a picky date. The apocalypse got girls in every town, gonna break their fragile little hearts and move right back on over here to fuck your shit up too. One perverted sonovabitch.”

Jane purses her lips. “And how do we know it's really the apocalypse?” she asks, voice high-pitched and wobbling. “No offence, your holiness, but it's only a few dreams...”

“The gift of prophecy is more than simple sight or suggestion,” Rose says, brow furrowed in a frown of irritation. “I may not have seen the whole world, but I know it is to be consumed.” She narrows her eyes at Jane. “Since you have always shown reasonable faith in my precognitive abilities before, I can only assume that your doubts this time are the result of a deficiency in your own ability to face the unknown.”

“I am not scared!” Jane snaps. Rose raises a lone eyebrow.

“ _I_ never said you were,” the Oracle replies. You can sense the smugness radiating off her and you throw a glare her way before rocking onto your knees and shuffling over to your Tuatha friend. She's sniffling a little, and you choose to ignore it as you put a friendly arm around her. She might be technically the same age as you, but in elf years that's like... five years younger or something. She's barely more than a kid.

“It's okay,” you tell her, resting your head on her shoulder as Frigglish purrs in your lap. Nothing could be more reassuring than the pair of you, you are like some sorta awesome spell for getting people calm and happy. “We got a sweet plan for saving everyone and it's totes gonna work.”

The next thing you know you're lying on the floor, and it takes you a confusing half-second to realise that Janey has pushed you off her and jumped to her feet.

“I can't believe this!” she yells. “You're really all buying into this?! One oracle has visions that the world- which seems perfectly fine to me- is going to come to an end by next year, and you're planning to save it with _two street performers and a drunk wizard_?” She points a finger accusingly across the campfire at Dirk. “You can't tell me you really think this is real!”

Dirk shrugs. “Seems legit to me,” he says, unperturbed by Jane's outburst.

“So you're just going to do whatever she says?” the frantic girl demands. Behind her, you can see her brother getting to his feet.

“I'm going to do my best to assist the Oracle,” Dirk is saying, face impassive behind the mask he hasn't taken off. “See, as my bro here pointed out, we all happen to live in the world. If I accept that she has the gift of prophecy, then I have to accept that we're probably in big trouble here. And I sure as fuck am not planning to just lie down and wait for the end to find me.”

“Amen!” you chime in, giving a small round of applause. You couldn't have said it better yourself. Jane, on the other hand, is staring at the pair of you as if you are completely out of your minds.

“But... I don't... how are we...” She shakes her head. “You're mad. You're all completely...”

A pair of tanned, appealingly toned arms slide around Jane, who squeaks as her brother pulls her into a hug. “Right,” he finishes. “They're right, Jane.”

You've only met John a few times before today, but you know he's never exactly serious. The expression he has right now, a sort of wide-eyed earnestness full of an easy confidence that things will work out, is as close as he gets. The weird thing is that until you see it, you weren't even noticing the funny little knot of fear that's been planted in your belly since Rose first told you about her visions. Now it's gone.

You decide right then and there that you are _definitely_ going to have your wicked way with that boy. Eventually. When he's done being all cool and comforting and the best brother in the world.

“What about our training? What about Mom and Dad?” Janey is protesting, refusing to return John's hug but not pulling away either. “Gods walking, John, what about Jake and Jade? They're supposed to be here in a few weeks!”

John shrugged. “We'll have to sneak home to get our things anyway; we can leave them a message,” he says. “I think they'll understand; they seem like pretty cool people! Actually...” his face lights up with a grin. “Wow. Jane, what if we asked them to join us? I bet they'd be great at helping save the world!”

“We cannot leave a message in Porthaven that would indicate our destination,” Rose cautions.

“We don't have to!” John replies cheerily. “Dave, you said that your Clan usually runs into Guardians of the Greenweald when you're leaving Porthaven, right?”

“Yeah,” Dave says. “They get attracted by the irresistible Ghoststep charm and follow us for miles just to get a glimpse of me. It's like I'm the Lord of Aldebaran, except I got a sweet-ass caravan instead of a shitty brown moon and instead of being followed by the beasts of the forest and field, I'm best buds with every hairy unwashed tree-hugger from here to the Dragonshards.”

You throw a small clod of dirt at him. It falls short.

“Okay, well, we can leave a message with your people, and they can tell the druids, and they'll get a message to Jade for us!” John says, letting go of Jane to gesticulate some shapes that might be somehow vaguely related to his plan. “That should be totally safe!”

Rose nods thoughtfully. “If your friend is connected to the Guardians, then she may be a help,” she concedes. “Besides, we are hardly in the position to discount potential allies.”

“She's our sister, and she _is_ one of the Guardians! And Jake, he's our brother, but he grew up in a clanhold and he has awesome dwarven weapons!” John says. Rose looks a little stunned. You know the feeling. Guardians are totes badass and dwarves are about as mysterious and exotic as anything. Plus John has a brother! You bet he's cute too.

“That... would be useful,” says Dirk, echoing what you're all thinking. “You think they'll be onboard with this?”

“I don't see why not!” John replies.

Jane scowls at her brother. “Wait a minute here! They haven't agreed to anything, and neither have I. Do you even have a plan for tracking down this mysterious threat?”

“Of course,” Rose replies. She leans towards the fire, the flames already starting to cast odd shadows in the dying sunlight. “We need more information about the threat we face. Since I am unable to learn more from my own gifts, I thought a more direct communication with the Seer might be in order. Do you know of the Chamber of Echoes?”

You don't look blank, but only because your sister explained this to you weeks ago. Everyone else is confused as all hells.

“What the fuck is that?” Dave asks. Rose gives him a tight smile.

“It is a cavern in the heart of the Starspire mountain, where you may ask any question and hear a true answer.”

“Starspire?” Dirk says, tilting his head ever-so-slightly to the side. “Good thought, but I don't see how we're gonna pull it off.”

“What do you mean?” John asks. Dirk waves a hand in the air.

“Starspire's Aelfen land. The Shining Elves can get pretty antsy about visitors. And oh, yeah, Starspire is also right at the end of the Dragonshard range. It's months of travel away.” He fixes a harsh gaze on Rose. “We don't have time to get there.”

“We do if we cut through orc lands,” Rose replies calmly. “Unless the thought dissuades you from assisting, in which case I will cut through orc lands and you will remain here.”

Dirk shrugs and leans back. “I'm afraid I can't oblige, darlin'. Me and my bro here are in for the long haul, at your side, come what may. You don't chase us off that easily.”

“This plan is dangerous,” Jane says, arms folded across her chest. “Not to mention reckless, ill-thought-out, and completely lacking in important details! You've just jumped straight to the religious answer and haven't even considered the hundreds of other ways you could go about gathering information...”

“See, that's why we need you!” you exclaim, bouncing excitedly. “You're an Investigator, Janey! And we've got the biggest mystery in the world to solve!” You shuffle up to your friend again and tug on her sleeve. “Please say you'll come with us! Please please please please...”

“Oh, fine!” Jane says with a huff, slumping to the ground next to you. Immediately you glomp her, knocking her over with the force of your hug.

“Alright!” you squeal. “Let's get this party _started_!”

John laughs as he sits down next to Dirk. “Wow, a real adventure! I'm going to be a hero, like in the stories!”

Dave snorts. “Dude, you can't be a story hero.”

“Oh yeah? Why not?”

“Because I'm the hero,” Dave tells him. “You're more bumbling sidekick material. Like, after I'm done being badass you show up and drop something or trip over your own feet or whatever and everyone laughs.”

“Bluh, I am totally hero material!”

Dave tilts his head thoughtfully and examines the other boy. “I dunno, man, I'm just not seeing it. Maybe you should prove it, if you're so sure.”

“Okay, I will!” John says, grinning.

Jane rolls her eyes. “And how exactly are you going to check for heroism?” she demands.

“I've got an idea,” Dirk says. All of you look at him and he shrugs. “Well, a hero always gets the girl, right? So he's gotta be good at kissing.”

John's face lights up. “Hey, yeah! I could just kiss one of the girls and mmph!” He's cut off as Dirk's face suddenly attaches itself to his own. You can't help giggling; Dirk is clearly making the whole thing as passionate and romantic as he possibly can, while John is paralysed in shock and looks sort of bug-eyed.

The whole thing lasts for only a few seconds before Dirk pulls back, _licks his lips_ , and says: “Yup. Definitely hero material.”

John flushes a brilliant shade of pink and stumbles to his feet. “I, er, that is, thanks, but, um, I... I HAVE TO GO PEE!” He charges off at top speed towards the treeline and you can't help it, you're actually helpless with laughter. Rose is smirking and you think even Dave might have a quirk at the corner of his mouth.

Jane, however, is furious. “What in the hells, Dirk?” she yells, clambering to her feet. “Augh, it's stupid enough when you drag me into your shitty games, don't start playing them with John too!” She storms off after her brother, leaving the four of you who remain to stare at each other and feel maybe a little guilty for messing with them like that.

You are the first one to move. “Well,” you say as you stand, “time to go find Janey and tell her it was just a joke!”

“Why bother?” Dave asks. “They'll be back soon enough.”

“No,” Rose says suddenly, flowing from sitting to standing in the sort of smooth movement that you wish you could pull off. “We have to go and look for them, now.”

“Premonition?” asks Dirk, as he joins you.

“Perhaps,” Rose agrees. She narrows her eyes at the forest. “Let's just find them quickly.”

“What are they gonna run into on the edge of town? A psychotic _goat_?” Dave demands, but he follows you all anyway until you enter the trees.

It's dark in the woods but not too much so, the last dregs of twilight giving you enough to see by. You kind of want to stick together but Rose suggests splitting up to search, as “time is of the essence.”

Something about the way she says it makes a chill run through you. You hate it when your sister vanishes behind the Oracle, even briefly. You don't argue, walking deeper into the sparse trees until you see a flash of blue ahead and step out into a clearing where John is lying on the ground and looking up at the sky. Frigglish runs over and jumps on his stomach. The elven boy sits up in surprise and looks around, jumping guiltily to his feet when he sees you approaching. He rubs the back of his head, wearing a lopsided grin.

“Guess I was pretty stupid back there, huh?” he asks. You laugh and punch him in the arm.

“Jane got so mad at us!” you tell him, grinning right back. “She's probably planning to march back to Porthaven and call the whole Guard out!”

His eyes go wide at that. “Oh, gosh, you really think she might?”

You laugh. “Nah, but she's totes gonna threaten to!”

“Well, we can't have that,” purrs a voice nearby. You both whirl to see two men step out of the trees on the far side of the clearing. They are both pale and dark-haired, dressed in black leather and similar enough in the face to be brothers. For a moment you think they're elves, they're so slender and fine-boned, but their ears are round. Yet they don't really look like any aasimar you've ever seen, either.

What they clearly are, however, is hostile. You don't need Frigglish hissing at them to notice that each of them has a drawn rapier, or the way they split apart to try and circle you. John draws his own weapon, a heavy-headed hammer that's as divorced from a working tool as your tome of spells is from a children's picture book. You grab your familiar and you all back slowly away from the advancing pair, Frigglish digging his claws in as he rides your shoulders, until your back touches bark. John glances at you then steps forwards, raising his hammer in challenge.

“Who are you?” he demands. “Bandits?”

One of the pale men laughs, a curiously rich and mellow sound. “You wish, little boy.”

The other one licks his lips hungrily. “Do we have to wait for it to catch up?” he asks wistfully. The first one shrugs.

“Don't see why,” he says, then lunges forwards. John flinches aside and the blow passes him by, the second strike from the other man skittering off his armour. The young elf grins and takes a two-handed swing at the first assailant, but his aim is off and his foe ducks away. The hammer smashes into the trunk of a nearby tree, sending thick splinters of wood flying. One passes by your eye and you stumble back away from the flurry of combat, hands already moving and lips forming the words of the spell you sensibly prepared this morning.

Pale pink light glows around you as you tear power from the astral plane, then hardens into plates of eldritch light as you bend it to your will. The arcane armour snaps to your body in the blink of an eye and fades to a near-invisible pink shimmer in the air around you.

“Shit! She's a caster!” one of the pale men yells. You don't know which, because right then is when the trees on the other side of the clearing start to creak and bend. With ponderous footfalls that leave deep dents in the forest loam, a man in heavy plate armour strides out of the woods. His shield is black and spotted with age; his sword, as archaic as his armour. As soon as you see him the world takes on a chill like someone just dunked you in a cold tub of water. Frigglish's hissing grows even louder, and you decide that this stranger is definitely not a friend of yours.

The man takes up position between your two attackers, who take advantage of your distraction to strike again. This time one of them goes for you, slim metal blade sliding straight between the magical planes of your armour, and you cry out as blood blossoms from between your ribs. Then John appears in front of you, his left arm soaked in his own blood, and raises his hammer like a shield.

“Guys!” he yells. You really, really hope that your friends hear, because you are outnumbered and bleeding and John doesn't look a whole lot better than you.

“Looks like trouble going down over here,” says a familiar voice, and you could kiss Dirk as he emerges from behind you, his strange sword gripped in both hands. “But there's nothing to fear, help's near, gonna make 'em disappear.”

Dave is a flash of black moving past you, his sword swinging at the hulking central figure only to clatter uselessly against its armour. Its helm turns to face him, and he stares impassively back. Out of the corner of your eye you see one of the pale men dodge aside as Jane's trident jabs at where he was just standing, the elf girl furiously trying to avenge her brother's injuries.

Your heart lifts as you realise you're not alone, but you don't just want to stand here and be rescued. You spent years learning to make your will manifest and you know exactly what you can do to help here. Magic is in your blood after a lifetime of study and it comes when you call, focusing it into a beam of brilliant, blinding sunlight that shoots out towards the pale guy who skewered you earlier.

You miss your target and the light scatters harmlessly in the air, but both of the pale guys flinch back from the beam as if it were death incarnate. Behind you, you can hear Rose intoning a prayer.

“... blessings of the Guiding Star, shine from beyond the darkness to grant us a future...”

Her palm presses into your back and you are filled with warm healing light, golden and ancient and holy. The wound in your side closes up and your sister gives you a brief nod.

Then the guy in the armour moves. His shield flashes out- one, two- and then Dave and John are both reeling back with bleeding faces. You don't have time to worry about them, though, because suddenly both of the pale guys are on you and you're in the middle of a whirling storm of blades. You avoid one of them even without John's help, but the other manages to open a nasty slice across your leg. You wonder if this stupid armour spell was even worth the casting time as John slams his hammer into the back of the guy who cut you. He's a real gentleman, which is seriously hot and you are going to think about that _later_.

“We got heroes on this raid, you got played, playing with fire too hot to handle, we got an angle, it's a mission we can't fail 'cos we're here to tell our tale...”

Dirk's still chanting as he plunges into the fight, and his voice is something to cling to, a steady line of certainty in the fight. You're so busy watching him you miss Dave stepping behind the pale guy that John smacked, only noticing he's there when his sword emerges out of the front of the man's tunic. He pulls it back with a flourish and you're one assailant down.

“Darius!” wails the other pale guy, hardly seeming to notice as Jane stabs at him and he effortlessly steps aside. You grit your teeth and summon another bright ray of light. If the asshole doesn't like it, let him eat it, because Janey needs your help! As the light finds its mark, the pale guy lets out a thin wail and to your surprise his face blisters and burns where the beam touches it. You are almost seventy-five percent certain the spell isn't meant to do that.

“Keep doing that,” Rose whispers as she steps past you. “Gracious Lady of Destiny, send us the blessings of the Guiding Star...” This time John is the recipient of the glowing divine power, seconds before the armoured guy's shield smashes towards him again. This time both he and Dave jump out of the way of the surprisingly fast attacks and you...

WOAH!

A sudden flash lights the clearing as the guy Dave put down bursts into white flames. Within seconds there is nothing left but drifting ash. Frigglish's claws dig into your shoulder and make you flinch, pulling you just barely out of the path of a blade. You stagger away from the burned, snarling creature in front of you.

“I'm gonna kill you, bitch!” he hisses. “I'm gonna _tear your corpse to pieces and eat your heart!_ ”

You don't think he's exaggerating and look around for a little help. John, Dave and Dirk all seem to be ganging up on the guy in armour, even doing a little damage. Then Jane lets out a wild yell and jams her trident into your attacker. She looks as surprised as he does when it goes straight through his torso and out the other side. She pulls it back and you belatedly fire off more sunlight. Somehow your elbow slips and the ray goes wide, blazing up into the sky like a beacon. You see Rose stepping a little too close to the armoured figure as she tries to heal John, and the effort of concentrating so close to the violent blur of weaponry causes the divine power to fade and die in your sister's hands. Moments later she is hit by the blur of the shield, staggering back as another blow turns Dave's face into a bloody mess. You hardly even notice as your own assailant swings wildly at you, heart racing as you watch your friends battling to take down the seemingly invincible figure. You see John and Dirk's weapons both clatter harmlessly off the heavy plate metal, and although the aasimar is still keeping up a steady chant you don't know how they're going to win.

Then Dave rises up from behind like an avenging angel, and with a yell drives his sword straight down through the top of the helm. There is a pulse in the air, a feeling of something ancient and rotten that shoots past like a tangible wave, and then the armour comes to a juddering halt and falls over. There is no blood.

“Baa baa, fucker,” Dave says, prodding the armour with a toe. “Gotta watch out for us crazy goats.”

You would be so much more impressed if you weren't still face to face with a crazy pale guy trying to kill you and somehow still dodging everything you and Jane throw at him. Another beam of light goes awry and then you see Rose stepping up behind him.

“Gracious Lady of Destiny, send us the blessings of the Guiding Star...” she begins and your eyes widen. Why is she casting a healing spell? She's too far off to reach you and Jane is fine, but that only leaves...

“... shine from beyond the darkness to grant us a future as the Light wills!” she finishes. Her hand barely brushes the pale man's fingertips as he tries to stumble back. It's enough.

He screams in agony as golden healing light flows over his body, ivory skin crumbling to dust wherever the power touches and blood leaking from his eyes, his ears, his mouth... it's horrific to watch as he slumps to his knees, and the pure hatred in his face when he looks at Rose is terrifying.

“He's going to make you pay,” the pale man hisses, coughing blood. “And your precious bitch destiny goddess can't save you. He's going... to kill... fate...”

He slumps forwards and bursts into white fire. The six of you stand in dumbstruck silence as the last of the day's light fades from the sky.

Jane goes over to the armoured figure and crouches down by the helm, lifting the visor with shaking hands. “It's empty,” she says blankly, lifting the helm off the figure entirely. John seems freaked; you look accusingly at Rose. Your sister sighs.

“I am not surprised,” she admits. “I suspected that our attackers were not precisely of the living.”

“What do you mean?” John asks, gaze darting nervously from shadow to shadow.

“She means this thing was undead,” Dirk says, claiming the helmet from Jane's unresisting hands. “And the other two were Dhampir. Half-vampires.” He tosses the helmet back onto the chestplate of the fallen armour, where it clatters loudly on the metal. “Not actually undead, but certainly close enough to be killed by healing magic. Never heard of them spontaneously combusting on death, though.”

“They don't,” says Rose. “I think it's clear that we're dealing with another entity here, possibly even the instigator of the coming cataclysm.” She frowns. “I had hoped to get a little further before drawing adverse attentions from my foe.”

“Oh, gods walking,” Jane says, her eyes going wide. “Our parents!”

John jumps to his feet. “We've got to warn them!”

He's stopped by Dave's hand in his path. “Chill, Johnny-boy. Best way you can protect your parents now is to steer clear of them. Me and Dirk'll pick up your stuff tonight and we can be on the road in the morning, a regular band of vagabonds, nothing new to see here. But we've gotta stay cool, yeah?”

Slowly, John nods. “Okay.” He glances over at Jane. “Are you...?”

“Oh, I'm coming,” she says through gritted teeth. “I hardly have much choice now, do I?” She sighs and shakes her head. “And I suppose you were right. We've hardly even left Porthaven and someone tried to stop us. That means that Rose must be onto something.”

You smile and wander up to drape an arm over each of the elves. “Come on, guys, don't look so down!” you say, putting on your very best smile even though you hurt and you're still oozing blood and actually you don't feel so great about this whole thing either. “We won,” you point out, to yourself as much as the others. “And we're gonna keep winning. We are basically the best team evar. That's us.”

John manages a weak grin and slings his arm back around you. “Yeah, we did win, didn't we?” he says. “Hehe, we're awesome!”

“You're both lunatics,” Jane grumbles, but she slips her arm around you anyway as the six of you make your way back to the relative safety of the Phooka Clan camp.  


### Suggestions Used

 _Jack-Of-Spades_ – Roxy: Get this partay statred  
*paryt  
*party  
*started

 _ttd0000_ – Roxy: Flirt... or Drink... Both.

 _MASK_ \- Roxy: get acquainted with your new neighbors. also warn jane not to be a tightass- it's a aventur.  
*adeture  
*fcuk it

 _Asuka Kureru_ – Dirk: kiss a dude. (I don't care who, canon or OC and for any reason, it could be hella funny. Hay thar a distrakshun! *smooches*XD)

 _Ms Arano_ – Dave: Bleat like a goat.

 _Cec_ – John: Get lost

 _Asuka Kureru_ – Jane: argue with Dirk and/or Roxy.

 _Cec_ – Jane: Interrogate Rose

 _Ms Arano_ – Jane: Remind John that they were supposed to get a visit from Jade and Jake.

[System Notes](http://celynbrum.tumblr.com/post/59699409588/lodad-system-notes-chapter-16)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter took so long! It's just been full of things that took time. Like a really long combat, and also six characters. Also my wrist hurts when I type! And I had to do housework this weekend! :S
> 
> But yeah, I had fun coming up with this and incorporating some of the more random suggestions into the plot. :)
> 
> EDIT:  
> Moved the notes from the top of the chapter to the bottom, and farmed system notes out to Tumblr.


	17. ==> Karkat: Make The Best Of Your Situation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Hero point votes:**  
>  Dave 9  
> Karkat 3  
> Jake 2  
> Rose 2  
> Gamzee 1.5  
> Dirk 1  
> Terezi 0.5

## ==> Karkat: Make The Best Of Your Situation

After hours trapped with her in the tiny stone box that is being laughably referred to as a guardroom, you're no closer to knowing what to make of Terezi. She's still got you manacled to a chair, and neither of you have forgotten how spectacularly you slashed your sickle through her neck earlier. Even if she did pull some strings and get the healer to come back and work on you- which has actually left you in better condition than you started the day in- she's still a Lawkeeper. A Lawkeeper born marked with the sigil of the Seer, no less.

Which is actually the entire problem in a spider-egg; your whole strange truce is based entirely on your trance visions and the fact that you both have bizarre birthmarks, and you don't trust it or her for a heartbeat. You watch as she continues to flip through your journal, absorbed by the pages of what you're absolutely certain is either heretical apocrypha or semi-illiterate scrawl regurgitated from the more fanciful depths of your imagination. Already you know you could fucking hate her so easily, or fall for her hard, and the weirdest thing of all is how you feel like you already did both. There are vague memories swirling about in your head, half-formed ideas that you scribbled down or blurted out once then forgot about. They tell you that when you're trancing you feel the same way about the maddening, beautiful, impossible maniac that is Terezi Pyrope.

Not that you're planning to share any of this with her. Even if it wasn't a complete load of magical beetleshit, you're not exactly going to tell the lunatic who has you at her mercy that when you were a hatchling you used to play with an imaginary friend that shared her name and face. She's good enough at worming things out of you as it is. Besides, she's a pure and incorruptible enforcer of the law, while you are a casteless thief with a heretical god's mark on you who was arrested for trying to kidnap the guy she's meant to be guarding. However friendly things are right now you are still a matter of hours away from being so much offal and ash. Pointless deaths of the Casteless number six hundred and twelve; get cocky about your chances, fail spectacularly at something dangerous and illegal, and die screaming for the entertainment of a crowd of sadistic fucks who will probably get off to your slow and painful demise for months to come.

You can almost persuade yourself that you'll find a way out of this, that the first chance you get you'll be gone so fast that it'll be up to your dust cloud to give everyone behind you the finger. Realistically, though, at this point you're mostly just aiming to get a goodbye message to Gamzee. You watch your last chance at a messenger as she frowns thoughtfully down on the record of your trance visions.

"Your handwriting is terrible," she says, tapping a finger idly on the page. "Especially in Infernal."

You roll your eyes even though she isn't looking. "So fucking sorry about my calligraphy," you say, voice dripping with the exact opposite of sincerity. "I'll tell you what, next time I try transcribing a language I don't speak, I'll just make sure to get proper godsdamned lessons on forming the letters from the temple scholars themselves. I was trying to scrawl down as much as possible in the sixty seconds before it became too vague. Do you seriously think I give a tainted shit how pretty it looks?"

She chuckles a little at that, showing off a whole mouth of very white teeth, and you simultaneously find it incredibly attractive while also furiously wanting to wipe that grin off her smug know-it-all face.

"It's all so familiar," she says, setting the book down on the table. Craning your neck to see, you manage to read the name of the mysterious Kanaya Maryam on the open page. From what you recall of your own scribblings, a good friend to have and a terrifying enemy to make.

"You don't know it's her," you say. "It's just a first name."

"It's her," Terezi says. "I don't doubt it. They're only small hints, but I knew her well enough to be sure." She pauses, looks up at you. "How did you find Gamzee?"

You flush a little. "It's not like I was fucking looking for him! Unlike some gullible morons, I don't get a massive throbbing prophecy boner every time I look at my journal." She tilts her head, looks at you curiously, and you sigh. "My mother met him first, okay? She was the one who set us up. She was always reading too much into my dumbass visions, acting like I was some sort of special divinely chosen oracular asshole."

"You are," Terezi says, and you glare at her. She ignores your anger to flick through the book again. "Interesting that she could recognise him, though. If I hadn't seen him flip out like that earlier I don't think I'd be able to put it together easily from what's in here."

"Yeah, well, she used to write most of this shit down for me back then," you mutter, slumping down in your chair. "And besides, it was pretty fucking obvious when she saw his mark..." Your voice trails away as you realise what you just said. Slowly you bring up your free hand to cover your face, and groan. "Oh, _drider shitpits_."

"I thought so," Terezi says, smug again. That's twice she's fucking tricked you like that now; if you had any brains at all, if the universe in all its glorious, crap-infested majesty granted you a single iota of common sense to use on anything, you would shut your loosely hinged mouth right now and sew it closed.

"Can we just forget I said anything?" you ask, because you are a colossal idiot and cannot resist shovelling a few more yards of dirt out of this unspeakable death pit you are diligently excavating. "Is it possible to pretend that I just kept my fucking trap shut and that the last couple of minutes didn't happen at all? I'll make it my last fucking request if I have to."

If anything, Terezi seems even more pleased with herself. "Sorry, Karkles, too late for that. Your confession has been witnessed and your testimony accepted."

You can't take another second of this. "Will you cut it out with the legal shit?" you snap, lurching forward in your seat and being brought up abruptly by your chained wrist. "I get it, okay? I'm your fucking prisoner! You want all my deepest, darkest secrets, fine, I might as well spill my guts all over the place since you're obviously planning to mess with me until I tell you anyway! Just stop fucking _laughing_ at me, you sadistic bluebelly bitch!"

She looks at you in what could almost be genuine shock if she wasn't a soulless infiltrator from the most maniacally cruel of the outer planes, whichever one that is. You don't really care. "You can't be that upset over a little joke."

Your jaw actually aches as you grind your teeth. "Yes, I find your jibes in the face of my impending messy demise absolutely hilarious."

Her head tilts to the side a little. "Demise? What are you talking about?"

"My execution!" you yell, finally waving goodbye to the last strained vestiges of your mutilated temper. "Remember? When we finish having this lovely little demented sit-down tea party you've decided to hold and you remember what you're supposed to be doing! We both know how this ends- you drag me off back to your temple and have me killed for even daring to exist in your precious city! Or have you forgotten that you're a good little servant of justice and I'm _not?_ "

Her chair hits the floor with a loud crash as she pushes it back, moving impossibly fast around the table. Hands fall next to your arms with a crack of flesh on metal. You shrink back as she leans in, torchlight gleaming in her red eyeglasses as she looms overhead. For a moment in the shifting light, you are looking at something other than drow, an impression of grey skin and two sharp conical horns flickering in your mind and overlaying what you can see. Her teeth seem sharper than they should be, and your heart is pounding with adrenaline and fear and a sharp undercurrent of treacherous admiration.

"I am a servant of justice," she says, voice low and dangerous. "Which isn't the same as being a servant of the law." She reaches up one-handed and raises her eyeglasses away. Underneath her eyes are teal, a duller shade than her uniform armour, and for some reason it surprises you. It takes you a few seconds too long to remember that the Terezi Pyrope you had visions about was blind and you wonder why you ever expected that similarity.

"Kanaya was godmarked," she says, so quiet that nobody listening from outside would ever have a chance to hear. "So are you and I, and so is Gamzee." She reaches out to point towards your journal, still lying open on the table. "There are fourteen names in that book, including us. What does that tell you?"

"That you can count?" Apparently your entire brain has been replaced with faecal matter. You always knew that drinking polluted river water was going to cost you something important someday. On the other hand, maybe your idiot hindbrain knew what it was doing, because the dangerous Lawkeeper hovering over you has broken into a grin again. You freeze to avoid flinching as one slender hand pats your cheek, and your eye spasms in an uncontrollable twitch which you tell yourself is rage.

"That too," she says, before backing up and retrieving her chair from the floor. You take advantage of the moment to let out a deep breath you were holding and carefully ignore the little flower of hope blossoming inside you. She settles nonchalantly back into her own seat, sliding her eyeglasses back onto her nose. For a while you just look at each other.

"I used to think I was alone," she says eventually. "It was fun in some ways. The priestesses especially, they treated me like the Seer incarnate. But when I met Kanaya, it was like coming home."

You nod. You can still remember what it was like the first time you saw Gamzee's mark and he saw yours, how the two of you had stared and stared and then he had grabbed onto you and wrapped himself around you like he was drowning and you were the only makeshift flotation device in a million miles. You'd held on just as tight, not that you'd admit it to anyone.

"Do you remember the reformist uprisings?" Terezi asks. You nod, but slowly; you were only a hatchling at the time, and mostly what you remember is hiding in the dark with your mother until the sounds of chaos and destruction died away entirely. "Her family were at the centre of it, and the Temple doesn't tolerate threats to its power for long." She pauses to drum her fingers on the table. "I helped her to get out of the city. The Lawkeepers burst in on an empty chamber to arrest someone long gone." She smiles, a shark-toothed grin that is definitely sharper in your head. "They haven't really trusted me since."

"What do you know, our glorious theocratic matriarchs do have something between their ears after all," you mutter. Terezi snickers and leans in closer.

"The law is rotten," she says, and you wish you could see her eyes because she's still smiling but you sure as shit don't think she's joking. "Our city, our nation, our _people_ are falling to decadence and decay. The reek of it is everywhere.”

“That's not corruption, that's the river of shit in the middle,” you tell her.

She chuckles before her face falls back to sincerity. “The Seer didn't choose me to be a powerless puppet for the people who are failing Her. I've known for years that one day I would have to challenge the hierarchy if I wanted to make change happen.”

Your eyes go wide. “You're a fucking _reformist?_ ”

“You say that like it's a bad thing,” she says, grinning. You have no idea how to reply. Since before the uprisings, as long as you can remember, the word has been synonymous with treachery, with heresy, with the violent replacement of civilisation with barbarism. Actually, when you think of it like that, you aren't sure what your problem is with the idea. But it still makes your skin crawl.

“We don't actually eat hatchlings,” Terezi says blandly, and you wince because you actually were thinking about that story. Which was stupid. Because honestly with some of the shit people are willing to do in the Shanties, you don't think you've got much in the way of moral high ground even if it wasn't a load of crap.

You look at her again, this strange Lawkeeper who is somehow like you and yet still so different. “So is there a point to all this, or are you trying to talk me to death?” you ask.

Terezi's smile fades. "There are another ten of us out there," she says, fingers drumming on the table. "Or that's what I suspect. And there has to be a reason for that, something bigger than I'm prepared to handle alone." She looks at you in a way that's almost hesitant. Almost. “I want to understand this, and you're my best lead. I'd be a very bad investigator if I let you get killed.”

“So you're going to lock me up,” you say, heart sinking as understanding dawns. Not that you were looking forward to torture and execution, but at least it would have been over soon. You might survive in a cage, but you know you can't live in one.

“Actually, I was thinking of offering you a job.”

Your head snaps up and you stare in disbelief at your captor. “I'm sorry, I think that all the blood leaking out of my ears earlier might have blocked them,” you say. “Because I know you didn't just say what I think I heard.”

“Why not?” Terezi says, smug smirk back full strength. “They might not trust me, but I've got enough pull to make you vanish and reappear as one of my guardsmen. You're good in a fight and it keeps you where I can see you.” She snickers. “And you'd look _adorable_ in teal.”

"Adorabloodthirsty," you say automatically, eyes narrowing. You pulled the word from some dark recess of your own memory that you don't even want to contemplate, and she chuckles in recognition of its suitability.

“I'm not saying it'll be easy,” she says, leaning forward across the table. “Even if the Seer doesn't have other plans, I'm planning to change this society. Justice should be immutable, the same for everyone; it shouldn't serve the powerful and punish the desperate.”

You snort before you can stop yourself. “Nice idea. It's never going to work, because people are complete raging fuckholes and the only thing they care about is themselves, but thanks for the thought.”

“If people are only out for themselves, then why did you risk everything to try and help Gamzee?”

You scowl at her. “And what about Gamzee?” you demand, ignoring the uncomfortable feeling that she might have just trapped you again. “If I take this deal, what happens to him?”

“He gets married and moves away,” Terezi says. She looks down at the table and shifts in her chair. “There's nothing I can do about that.”

You knew that, of course you did. It still hurts to hear it.

“There has to be something,” you hear yourself saying. Pleading. Fuck, you're actually begging, aren't you? Your cheeks are burning and you basically have no shame left any more, you're utterly pathetic in every possible way, but fuck that. Fuck being proud when Gamzee is going to be left scared and alone and there's nothing you can do to help him.

One corner of her mouth quirks up in a smile. “Maybe... after the wedding, when things have calmed down a bit, I might be able to help him out. Like I did for Kanaya.”

Hate her or love her, you want to kiss her right now. Before you can express your thanks, however, you are distracted by the scraping of a key in the door lock. It provides barely enough warning for Terezi to slam your journal closed. You blink as the magical light of the courtyard flows into the dim room, followed by a woman and a pair of guards.

You don't recognise her, but you know who she is instantly. Silk and velvet scream of nobility, and the shades of blue she and her escorts wear combined with the unfamiliar House symbol only leave one possibility. You glare sullenly at Gamzee's fiancee, and she responds with the raising of a single amused eyebrow before turning to Terezi and handing over a rolled parchment.

“What is this?” Terezi asks, unrolling the document.

“An agreement between the Lady Kutsanmis and myself that cedes all her rights of disposition to me in the case of the abduction of her son, my betrothed,” the unfamiliar Matriatch replies. It takes a moment for that to sink in and when it does it feels like someone just sneaked up and replaced all your blood with ice. Terezi only got to decide your fate thus far because Gamzee's mother doesn't give a shit what happens to you as long as the wedding goes through; if this woman cares enough to get a legal writ, then you're certain that she won't leave you in what suddenly seems to be the iron-clad protection of your favourite crazy Lawkeeper.

You can't breathe as Terezi scans the document, hoping that it's a fake or somehow wrong. It seems to take a very long time for her to check it over before she passes the scroll back to the woman and nods.

“It seems to be in order,” she concedes, and for a moment her eyeglasses are looking right at you. You want to scream, to curse and swear and remind her of what she was saying only a few moments ago. You don't, because you can still see the bodyguards this Matriarch brought along. If you were cornered by them you'd attack, but then again you're an idiot. Terezi is smarter than that. You wish she wasn't.

“I would like to take custody of the prisoner now, my dear,” the Matriarch says. Wordlessly Terezi passes over the key to your manacle. Then to your astonishment she plucks your journal up off the table as if it were her own, tucking it under her arm and inclining her head politely to the woman. She walks out of the room without challenge and you are too stunned by her brazen theft of your property to notice as the Matriarch approaches you. You are jolted back to attention when long fingers wind in your hair and yank your head up. You find yourself looking straight into a pair of turquoise eyes, set in a face that is lined with age and wearing an amused smile.

“Well, isn't this a pleasure?” the Matriarch says with a jollity that makes your skin crawl. “Allow me to introduce myself. I am Matriarch Esin of House Yetenekli. You are?”

“Why do you fucking care?” you snap. Moments later your head is ringing from a sharp slap; you can feel your cheek stinging where her sharp nails scraped the skin.

“Try again,” she says, still smiling like she gives a shit. You glare at her and find yourself caught in a staring match, your furious will battering silently against her implacable calm. She doesn't blink, or twitch, or even change her expression; meanwhile your eyes start to itch and you are acutely aware that your neck aches at the angle she's holding it. After what seems like an age, you can't keep it up any more and your gaze drops.

“Karkat,” you mutter. It doesn't matter that your pride was a lost cause already, because it still feels like defeat. As soon as you say your name she releases your hair. You weren't expecting it and your head lolls forward before you catch it and pull it back, but it makes her point well. She's in charge here, and defiance gets you nowhere- which, since that's all you've ever been any good at, puts you straight in the spike pit from the word go.

A snap of her fingers and one of her guards has moved Terezi's chair over for her to sit on. She's less than a foot away from you, close enough that if you lashed out just right with a foot you might be able to break her shinbone or kneecap. You are absolutely certain that to do that would be tantamount to suicide.

“My husband-to-be is quite attached to you,” she says. You watch warily as she leans in. “And I am not a cruel woman by nature. I promised the dear boy that I would see what I could do about bringing you along with us and, as you can see, I am keeping that promise.”

Your can't believe what you're hearing. “Wait, seriously?” There has to be a catch somewhere, but your frantically searching mind can't find it. “You want me to stay with Gamzee?”

“Perhaps,” she says. “There is one teensy little complication.” She sits back in her chair and sighs sadly. “You know, I married into my House. If it hadn't been for a series of tragic accidents I wouldn't be Matriarch at all.”

If those were accidents you will eat your blood-soaked, ass-smelling shirt.

“There are still a large number of my in-laws who would rather not see me in power,” she continues, as if she hadn't just skirted by a confession of mass murdering her own kin. “And of course, the massed foes without who hate my House and I for leading it. What am I to do when beset by so many enemies? I have to be careful, don't I?”

You nod cautiously, not sure where this is going and positive that the answer is nowhere good. She chuckles and reaches out to pat you on the head.

“Good boy. Now, who are you working for?”

The question takes you by surprise and absolutely no thought at all goes into your response. “What the fuck are you talking about?”

She grabs your hair again and this time yanks it sideways, giving her a nice long expanse of neck to walk the claws masquerading as her fingernails up and down. “Who. Are. You. Working. For.” Her voice is a low hiss right near your ear, and you tug frantically at the manacle keeping you attached to the chair. It remains sturdy and closed.

“I don't know!” you yell. “Nobody!”

“You are a nobody,” she says softly, fingers tightening in your hair. “But you made that boy trust you. You risked everything to take him away from here, away from his mother, away from me. I know his reasons, but not yours. So I will ask you one more time: _who are you working for?_ ”

Matriarchs are paranoid. Matriarchs demand loyalty and expect treachery. Matriarchs believe nothing, not even the truth. The prickle on your neck becomes a sharp pain and you feel a trickle of blood where her nails pierced the skin. Shit, shit, she's running out of patience, come on Karkat, you just need an answer, who are you working for, who do you answer to, who are you loyal to...

“Gamzee!” you blurt, and immediately you regret it. It was a test, obviously a test, you should have said her name, now even if she believes you she knows you won't be loyal to her, not ever, and that's not a risk she can afford to take.

Then the fingernails are gone from your neck and your head falls again as she releases it. You blink up at her and she smiles at you.

“I married into my House,” she says. “For love, if you can believe it. If you'd been a spy you would have kept denying, or said my name.” She cocks her head thoughtfully. “You still could be a spy, but somehow I doubt it. You really do love him.”

Holy fucking shit you gave the right answer. You gawp open-mouthed. “You mean you actually don't mind?”

She laughs. “I'm old enough to know better than to expect total loyalty from everyone around me,” she says, eyes narrowing into sly slits. “But you and Gamzee are a perfect pair, my dear. After all, I can hardly do anything too permanent to my darling husband; his mother would object and that would get messy. But now I've got you to keep him in line, I don't have to worry about someone else's clever agent turning him against me, because you'll be keeping him on my side, won't you?”

You understand. Of course you do; it's a pretty simple hostage situation, starring you as the poor sap with a knife to his throat. You're pretty sure Gamzee had to make some sort of deal with her too, and whatever it is you know you hate it because it's got both of you trapped. Do what she wants or the other one gets hurt. You want nothing more right now than to break out of your restraints, punch the bitch in the face, stab her guards with their own swords, carve a swathe of destruction through every asshole in the enclave until you find Gamzee, sling him over your shoulder and _run_ for the deep caverns, then stay with him and look after his sorry drugged-out ass all the way up to the surface where you can both finally, really be free.

You give your arm a subtle tug and your manacle rattles. You don't really have to think about your answer to the Lady Yetenekli. “Yes, ma'am.”

“Good.” She stands and brushes dust and dirt from her dress with her hands. “Now, let's get you into something more suitable for your new station. I can hardly have a member of my household going about in rags. It's a terrible impression.”

She tosses the key to one of her bodyguards, who unlocks you and grabs your arm while the other guard picks up your confiscated property. You don't bother trying to struggle back, instead fighting to keep your feet and walk rather than be dragged to the door after your new mistress. You feel oddly reluctant to leave the sanctuary of the guardroom. Over the long hours of your captivity, the guardroom has become your best fucking friend, and you are left bereft by its absence when you are rudely thrust blinking into the cool air of the cavern evening.

Terezi is waiting just by the door and you know without question that she's been listening at the door. As you pass her you find yourself hoping that she'll reach out or say something, do something to tell you that she's still on your side. It's stupid and of course she just stays still, but out of the corner of your eye you glimpse your journal still tucked safely under her arm and realise that in a way she's already shown you which side she's on by keeping it out of the hands of the Matriarchs.

Your march is a short one that ends at a covered stable, and your eyes take a moment to adjust again when you are led back into darkness. Rows of empty carts and carriages are lined against the walls, the beetles that were pulling them safely closed away in stalls. You are led past the more elaborate transports to the carts lined with benches and with heavy metal rings driven into the chitin. You stare at them blankly. Of fucking course.

Then something shifts in one of the carts and you jump back, crashing into your guard. He doesn't seem too amused and tightens his grip. You can't even twitch as a ghostly pale being sits up in the cart, chest looped about with chains, dark eyes peering about the room from beneath a pitch-black halo of hair. A sunwalker.

You've seen them before, of course. They're hardly a common sight, but there are a few of them as slaves in the inner rings, and a few more bundled, parblind figures that shuffle around the Shanties. And since you are a sane and rational person you put absolutely no stock in wild tales about breathing fire and summoning demons and shooting beams of light from their assholes or whatever else superstitious idiots like to come up with while they fondle themselves all day.

Oh, who are you fucking kidding, this thing could be able to kill you all with a nasty look. You don't want to be anywhere near it and you are just about to express this entirely reasonable opinion by yelling a few panicked obscenities and making a break for it when the Lady Yetenekli steps up to the end of the cart.

“Well, you've certainly been busy,” she says in High Elven, following her words with a small chuckle. The sunwalker's head spins to face her, but his glare misses her by several feet. You abruptly realise that he can't see a thing- you have heard that surface dwellers can't see if there's no light, and weird as it sounds that is apparently true. Actually, now you look at him properly, he doesn't seem too scary at all. More like a drow with all the colours inverted than some sort of terrifying nightmare monster. And there's a slave collar around his neck, an expensive one.

“Where the blazes are you, you loathsome woman?” the sunwalker demands. His High Elven is strangely accented and tricky to follow, but you're used to figuring out all sorts of speech impediments and your mother did a good job of teaching you the language. “If you think I am going to roll over and start helping you take things apart just because you leave me alone in the dark for a few hours, then you can blooming well think again! I've been through worse than this just picking up groceries!”

You can't decide what's more annoying; that the sunwalker is stupid enough to mouth off at a Matriarch, or that you really fucking wish you were brave enough to be that idiotic. You settle for hating his guts, which works either way.

“Oh dear, you can't see, can you?” the Lady Yetenekli says. “Well, we shall have to do something about that.” She snaps her fingers and the guard who isn't holding you produces a rod which she strikes on the edge of the cart. The end flares into a light that quickly settles from “painfully bright” to “tolerable illumination”, and for the first time you see the sunwalker in full colour. His eyes are green rather than black, and his skin is pinkish-brown, but other than that not much changes. He stares back at you in obvious interest. You think he's about your age- it's hard to tell when he looks so different to what you're used to. His clothes are different too, a style you don't recognise, good cloth recently damaged and torn.

You're not the only one noticing the state of his outfit. “Fetch two sets of clothes,” the Matriarch orders her spare guard in undercommon, and he bows before vanishing off into the darkness. The sunwalker frowns.

“What was that?” he demands, in High Elven. You roll your eyes. Arrogant little shit. The Matriarch ignores his words in favour of walking up to pluck at the chain wrapped around his body. If you had to guess, it looked like he somehow...

“Oh dear, did you get yourself all tangled up trying to get free?” Lady Yetenekli asks. “That will never do.” She glances over to you and beckons. The hands that held onto you all the way here let go and for a second you hesitate. If you made a break for the door now...

“Karkat,” says the Matriarch, with only a slight hint of impatience.

… you'd be dead before you reached the courtyard. You walk obediently over to your mistress and she smiles at you. “I have a job for you,” she says, and although her eyes are fixed on you she's talking High Elven so that bastard can understand. “I want you to unwind our little sunwalker here and make sure he doesn't do anything stupid.” Her smile darkens. “Consider it practise. After all, I will be relying on you to take care of something precious to me.” She presses something into your hand and you stare down at it. A key. Presumably to unlock his collar from the chain.

You look at the sunwalker again. Fuck that. If you unlock him he's going to run or attack or something, and you aren't sure you can stop him. With a sigh you kneel down next to him and start feeling your way around the heavy loops of metal. Maybe if you lift this one here- no, it's trapped under that one, but then this other one won't move unless you shift this bit out the way. You shift into a sitting position, chewing on your lip as you try to straighten out the problem.

After a minute or so of increasingly aggravating attempts to disentangle the idiot, you finally manage to get somewhere- or so you think. The heavy loop of metal you lift over his head immediately falls oddly, and you curse in frustration as you realise that you've made the situation even worse.

“You should unlock the chain,” the sunwalker says. “Isn't that why she gave you the key?” It takes you a few seconds to realise that he's talking to you; you glance around and see the Matriarch watching you, then shuffle a few fractions of an inch closer.

“I bet you'd love that, wouldn't you?” you whisper, keeping your voice low so she can't overhear. You've learned that lesson once already. “I unlock you, you start running, the gigantic musclebound asshole over there snaps your neck and then I get shit for letting it happen.” You snort. “Not fucking happening.”

“I won't run,” the sunwalker says, lowering his voice to match your own. “Gentleman's honour.”

“Yes, because I believe every promise people make to me, especially the ones from complete strangers and sunwalkers,” you reply, tugging roughly on a new loop of chain. “I also happen to be a cunningly disguised Drider and the High Priestess' favourite concubine.”

“Gosh, really?”

“No, fuckass, not at all. Were you hatched this stupid or did your parents drop you repeatedly on your head as a child?” The chain appears to be attached to itself at all points. How the fuck does it not have any ends? You are fairly sure it should have two.

“Well, I did have a dashed dramatic time of it as a hatchling,” the sunwalker says, beaming at you. “See, my parents were evacuating...”

You kick him. Two wide green eyes stare at you in hurt shock. “What in the world was that for?”

You risk a small jerk of your head back in the direction of the Matriarch. “Look, either she can hear everything we're saying, in which case shut the fuck up, or she can't and she thinks we're plotting, in which case _shut the fuck up_. I'm not letting you go, end of conversation.”

There is a pause, during which he fingers idly at the edge of his collar, before he speaks again. “Running wouldn't do me any good anyway with this on, would it?”

“You wouldn't get out of the building,” you confirm. You don't know exactly what spells are on the collar, but no noble would commission something that fancy unless they were one hundred percent certain it wasn't going to walk off on someone's neck.

“And I don't suppose it's easy to get it off.” He's tugging at it a little stronger now.

“Depends,” you say, watching his fingers warily. “Technically they're really fucking easy to remove, as long as you don't mind taking your head off at the same time.” He looks a little confused so you clarify. “They explode if you tamper with them.”

He stops fiddling with it. “Uh... tamper with them how?”

You roll your eyes. “I don't know, I never tampered with one! Now will you just be quiet before we both get flayed?”

He goes paler than ever and glances over your shoulder at the Matriarch. You kick him again and he hunches back down.

“But you can unlock the chain,” he whispers to you after a moment. “It would make your job a good bit easier, and even if you think I'm enough of a cad to break a promise I still can't run because of the collar.”

You look at him, weird and pale and, in his own way, just as fucking stubborn as you. You sigh and reach up behind him to unlock the collar chain.

“I'd better not fucking regret this,” you mutter. The chain slips down with a rattle and you pick up the loose end, threading it back through the first tangled loop.

Having a start point to work with makes you job much easier, and to your everlasting relief the sunwalker sits as still as a frightened hatchling and stays quiet the whole time. As soon as you finish, the heavy chain dropping onto the floor of the cart, you glance back round at the Matriarch. To your relief she seems amused, not angry. There's a large bowl of water and some cloths beside her, along with a folded pile of clothes and a small box made of what you think might be actual wood. She sees you looking and beckons you over. You obediently stand and walk over, your feet dragging like lead until she motions and you kneel in front of her. She reaches over and opens the box, pulling out a collar that is the twin of the sunwalker's.

You close your eyes when she reaches over but the soft click as it closes around your neck is like a crypt door slamming shut. Less than a fucking hour to completely take ownership of you, and if you're being honest you've been acting like a good little slave for most of that time anyway. You didn't think you had anything left to lose. Now it's gone and you can feel the hole where your freedom used to be.

When you know you can open your eyes without letting any tears show, you raise your head and stare at her with every last scrap of dignity you can muster. You aren't sure what you're expecting- anger, mockery, to be ignored- but to your surprise she smiles, a genuine quirk of the lips that leaves you feeling confused all over again.

“Wash up and get changed,” she tells you, pointing to the pile of cloths. Her gaze flicks over to the sunwalker and she chuckles when he folds his arms. “Yes, you too. I'm not having slaves that stink, dear, it's unseemly.”

You get up and walk stiff-legged over to the basin, where you're met by the sunwalker. He looks as uncertain as you feel as he looks at the Matriarch behind you.

“Um, is she just going to... sit there?” he asks, cheeks turning a weirdly bright shade of pink. You risk a brief glance back, and Lady Yetenekli waves to you both.

“Don't mind me, dears!” she calls. “I doubt you've got anything I haven't seen a good few times before!”

“Guess that answers that,” the sunwalker mutters, folding his arms around himself a little tighter.

You sigh. “Let's just get this over with,” you say quietly, starting to tug off your coat. Putting on a show for a woman old enough to be your great-grandmother isn't exactly something you want to do, especially since you have a godmark to hide. If she wants a good view of anything other than your back she's going to have to fucking ask for it.

Excessive modesty isn't really a concept you grew up with; you sure as the hells don't walk around naked or anything like that, but when people are packed in as tight as they are in the Shanties there are some things that you are just inevitably going to see or show and you've long since given up being shy about them. You're down to your skivvies and grabbing a wash-cloth before the sunwalker's even done taking his shirt off, and from the temperature of the water when you touch it you suspect it'll be cold before he starts trying to clean himself. You wipe off the leftover blood and grime from the day along with a few more months of accumulated muck and toss the dirty cloth to one side. Grabbing clothes is something you do with your unmarked arm, fumbling at the pile and praying for long sleeves. The weight of the bundle you get seems off and you frown. Then you shake it open and your jaw drops.

Wrapped up in the simple blue tunic and trousers is a gleaming chain shirt, the silvery metal brighter than anything you've seen except on the highest-ranking guards and a few nobles. Next to you, the sunwalker gasps and reaches out to run a ringer over the gleaming surface.

“Great forge!” he says, eyes going round as gold coins. “That's _mithral!_ I've barely even seen it before! It costs a _fortune!_ ”

You spin to stare back at the Matriarch, who returns your look with an amused smirk. Aware of the sigil exposed on your flesh, you yank the tunic over your head as an excuse to get something between the air and your wrist. It's sleeveless, but bundled with the chain shirt are a pair of wrist-wraps and leather bracers that should do a good job of keeping your secret hidden.

It's when you stand to pull the breeches on that you see it; the sunwalker is crouched by the bowl of water, spine curving to push his back upwards, and right between his shoulder-blades the skin is darkened in the perfect pattern of a pair of wings. They are very familiar. Pairs just like them are scattered through the pages of your journal, drawn in charcoal as you woke up and ringed with notes that you can't fucking remember now that you actually care enough to try.

Ten more like us out there, Terezi had said. Nobody had ever said they had to be drow.

He starts to straighten and you realise that if the Matriarch sees that mark she's going to ask questions. There's no way she doesn't know about Gamzee's, which means she knows what to look for, and a pair of wings is hardly subtle anyway. Thinking fast, you grab the second tunic and throw it at him as he stands up, which has the double benefit of covering his back and making him face you- hiding it from her.

“Get dressed already, idiot,” you say, grabbing one of the two chain shirts that have now spilled across the floor and easily pulling it over your head. Shit, this thing is insanely light; it's like it's not even made of metal at all, although the cold links against your skin say differently.

To your relief the sunwalker takes your advice and gets dressed without showing his back to your mistress' prying eyes. You breathe a sigh of relief when you're both clean and dressed, and try to ignore the part of your brain reminding you that you're going to have to do shit like this a lot more in future. It's strange to be dressed like this, in clothes that aren't patched and layered and worn until they fall off, but you grudgingly admit that it might not be so bad. You just hope this super-expensive shiny idiot armour is half-decent in a real fight.

The Matriarch seems pleased too, if the look she's giving the pair of you is any indication. She walks up and takes a good long look at the pair of you, which is about the most unnerving thing she's done yet. Then she spins on the spot and jumps down from the cart. Her bodyguards fall in beside her as she lifts the rod of light again.

“Follow,” she says in High Elven, and then they turn and start to head for the exit. Seeing the light retreat seems to motivate the sunwalker; he's moving even before you are, and fucked if you're being left alone in here. You scramble after him, catching up as you emerge into the courtyard and slowing to an easier pace as your small group enter one of the large central towers.

There's something unnerving about walking around and belonging here. Your collar, tunic and armour make you part of the scenery in a way you've never been before and you don't know if you like it. It's like you're drowning, as if every pair of eyes that looks at you is stealing some part of yourself away and replacing it with what they think should be there. But then, they've always done that. It's just that now what they see is something different than an angry casteless thug.

The tower is bustling inside, but your destination lies past more than one set of armed guards. By the time you reach the final branching corridor the hallways are virtually deserted, the only living beings in sight a pair of House Kutsanmis guards stood to attention alongside a familiar pair of Lawkeepers. They don't even recognise you until you draw close, by which time you can ignore their glaring. You think you've worked out where you're headed and if you're right, you don't give any shits at all what anyone else thinks.

“State your business,” one of the guards says. Lady Yetenekli smiles at him.

“Delivering a present for my betrothed,” she says, winking. Then she waves a hand to the pair of you. “I thought another pair of guards couldn't hurt.”

There is visible consternation at that. “Guards!?” one of the Lawkeepers splutters. “That little shit's the one who...”

She falls silent as the Matriarch gives her a smile. “From what I hear, he was very protective of my darling- more so than some of you. That sounds like a good guard to me.” She lays a hand on your shoulder. “I promise, if either of them misbehave, I will take full responsibility for their actions.”

Her hand squeezes a little tighter- a warning, perhaps, but not one you care about. Not when the guards reluctantly step away from the door, and it swings open into an antechamber. Only the sunwalker and the Matriarch come in with you; her guards have to wait outside. You're about to head straight for the inner door when her hand tightens again, turning you slightly to the left where you see two sickles- your sickles- lying on one of the couches.

“You'll hardly be much of a guard without weapons now, will you?” she says. You're already picking them up, feeling the weight like an old friend. You love your sickles; you want to fucking marry them and never again be parted, that is how much you worship them. Across the room, the sunwalker is being passed a crossbow.

“I thought this might be a weapon you could use,” the Matriarch is saying, and that's an odd way to put it but now isn't the time for questions, now is the time for pushing open the far door and running into the next room and seeing him turn, seeing the surprise and the joy grow on his face before you barrel into him and...

...yeah, so Gamzee isn't the only one hanging on for grim death here. But you thought you'd never see him again. You thought you'd never get to say goodbye, and now you're here and it doesn't matter what you had to promise to get this far because you're back with your brother and everything is going to be okay.

He's talking to you- “I'm sorry, I'm all sorry bro, I'm sorry, it's all my motherfucking fault,” - and you're just babbling back- “I was so fucking scared, I thought I lost you, tell me we're okay, you idiot.” You've got your face buried in his shirt and he smells like wine and food and smoke but not pesh, because he's been cleaned up just like you have. It's still him. You can feel it in the way he's holding you, bony arms wrapped right around your waist to pull you close, one palm resting against your back and pressing you in.

“I see I made the right choice.”

You both look around at once. The Matriarch has led the sunwalker in and is watching you with the strangest look on her face, a slightly sad smile which unnervingly reminds you of your mother. Gamzee's hands tighten into fists and he tilts his head to rest it on top of yours.

“Thanks,” he says. The Matriarch waves a dismissive hand.

“It's for my own good,” she says with a shrug, before switching to High Elven. “I wasn't lying to the guards outside. You need protecting, my dear, and your little accomplice there will do a fine job.” She glances over at the sunwalker. “As for this one, I'm counting on self-interest. If he plays up, do remind him that I have the command word for that collar of his.”

The sunwalker looks less than delighted at this reminder. You don't blame him. It's hardly comfortable to think about what you're wearing around your neck.

“Well, until tomorrow, my darlings!” the Matriarch says, backing out of the door and leaving the three of you alone in the room. The sunwalker is staring at the pair of you, jaw slack, and you glower at him.

“Fuck you,” you snap, and he hurriedly looks away to gawp at the rest of the room while you burrow back into Gamzee.

“Don't suppose you have any way to take these things off,” you mutter, poking gingerly at your collar. 

Gamzee shakes his head, hair flopping around his eyes. “Sorry, brother, I ain't even all up and being trusted with the command words for that shit. Bitch ain't gonna give me no way to get you free.”

You groan and let go of him, drifting over to the nearest couch and falling back onto it. “Is it in any way possible for our plan to get more fucked up than it already is?”

“Could be worse, bro,” Gamzee says, drifting over to the table where a decanter of wine sits full and waiting. “We're still all up and being here, together. Motherfucking miracle after all that shit we pulled, you all getting me?”

“Yeah,” you mutter, watching as he pours a glass and starts to lift it.

“Wait!”

You barely pull your legs out of the way in time as the sunwalker streaks past and smacks the glass out of Gamzee's hand. You stare in shock at the deep red wine sinking into the carpet, surrounded by shards of glass, then with a growl grab the sunwalker's wrist.

“What the fuck?” you hiss in High Elven, trying desperately not to let a suspicious sound leak out to the guards outside. “We've not even been here five minutes and you're already acting like a spell-addled lunatic!”

“It was poisoned!”

You glance back at the spreading stain. “What?”

The sunwalker reaches out and, with a cautious eye on Gamzee, grabs the decanter. “Look, you see those crystals around the edge of the rim? The greenish ones that shine in the light?”

Gamzee leans over and makes an appreciative noise. “Oh yeah! I see it, like little mossy brothers with all them motherfucking little rainbows in them and shit!” He grins at you. “Check it out, best friend, they're all growing up on the glass!”

“I can see it, idiot,” you say, eyes narrowing. “What I'm not seeing is what it has to do with the expensive pool of carpet ruiner and foot-destroying shards this dicklicker decided to spread about the place.”

The sunwalker carefully sets the decanter back down on the table. “My mother has been showing me alchemical processes since I was a hatchling. This is basic crystallisation, a process which occurs when a secondary, solid substance has been dissolved into the liquid.” He frowns and looks about, then grabs one of the bolts from his crossbow quiver. Gently he scrapes the tip over the crystals, catching a couple and tipping them out onto the table. “There. That's what you would have been drinking.”

You look at the little crystals nervously. Away from the surface of the wine, there is something ominous about them. “What is it?” you ask.

“Not sure,” the sunwalker says. “But I have some ideas. Give me a moment, chaps.” He gets up and, grabbing a clean glass, fills it with water from the jug on the table across the room. He puts the glass next to the crystals and carefully drops one in. It sinks to the bottom and no amount of stirring with the bolt makes it dissolve.

“Not soluble in water,” the sunwalker mutters. “But it does dissolve in alcohol.” He sighs and sits back. “I'm rather afraid this might be King's Sleep.”

You grab him by the collar and pull your face close. “ _What the fuck did he nearly drink?_ ” you whisper, fighting to keep your voice quiet.

“A poison meant to kill slowly, certainly, and without drawing suspicion,” the sunwalker says, garbling his words slightly in panic. “I don't know much; I read about it in a book while I was looking for something else, I've never really seen it before. The effects are supposed to look like a wasting disease, and it only needs one dose!”

You drop him and slowly turn to look at a horrified Gamzee, both your faces ashen with fear.

“Did you drink any?” you ask. He shakes his head.

“No, bro, that was the first glass today.” He points to the liquid soaking into the carpet. “I been all out and at my engagement party.”

“What about other things? Did you eat or drink anything that tasted weird?” you say, heart pounding frantically.

“I don't know, man! I ain't all up and looking for little green crystals on shit!” Gamzee is almost in tears, and you aren't far behind him, when a pale brownish hand rests comfortingly on your brother's arm.

“I think you're okay,” the sunwalker says. “I mean, I can't be sure, but... well, there wouldn't be much point trying to leave the poison here if you'd already taken some, and if you'd ingested it before today you'd be feeling the effects by now.”

As your pulse slows, you and Gamzee share a look of utter relief. “Still, we have to be careful,” you say, reminding yourself as much as telling them. “Someone managed to get in here past all the guards. They'll probably try again.”

“But why?” Jake asked, puzzled. Gamzee laughs.

“Shit, bro, ain't you all like knowing nothing? My family's all rich and important and shit, and my betrothed, she's all super smart. Like she's all up and understanding all the motherfucking miracles of the universe, you dig me? Lotta people got their worry on up about this wedding shit.” He shrugs when you look at him in surprise. “Motherfuckers talk about me all the time, sometimes even when I'm all there to be hearing it. Ain't got no mind that I'm getting my motherfucking listen on.”

“I don't understand,” the sunwalker says. “Why is anyone trying to kill you for getting married?”

“How are your people even alive if they're this naïve?” you ask, rolling your eyes. “It's an alliance, genius. Between a House that can design the best weapons and a House that can afford to raise armies that carry them. Any power with any investment at all in their own influence is going to...” your voice trails off as you make a connection. “Oh, shit. Oh, _fuck_.”

“Bro?” Gamzee asks.

“She said it,” you say, dazed by the revelation. “She said, they don't tolerate threats to their power.”

“Who doesn't, exactly?” the sunwalker says, tracking you with his head as you get to your feet and start pacing the room.

You pause to smack yourself in the forehead. “Fucking _think_ about it. Who do the nobles answer to? Who do they turn to when they need help? _Who do they trust to guard this room?_ ”

Slow as he can be, Gamzee gets it before the sunwalker does. His eyes go wide. “No motherfucking way. They wouldn't.”

“They would,” you say, with the absolute certainty of someone who has lived in the Shanties their whole life and seen the shit that the people in charge do to people they decide are in their way. “It's the fucking Temple. The Lawkeepers are trying to assassinate you.”

The sunwalker jumps to his feet. “We have to tell someone!”

“Who?” you ask, waving an arm around the room. “We're both slaves, and for me that's a step _up_. Nobody's going to fucking listen to Gamzee at the best of times, and accusing the Temple of the Seer of planning an assassination is about the worst level of self-immolating heresy I can think of. If we tell anyone about this we'll be doing the assassin's job for them.”

Gamzee's fingers press hard into the sides of the couch cushion. “Why didn't they all up and let us go?” he asks, voice desolate and empty. “If they're not motherfucking wanting me doing this, why... why didn't they just motherfucking get some pity in them and just let us go?”

You sit down next to him and lean over, cuddling into his side. “Because,” you say. It's a beetleshit answer, but it's what your mother always used to say when you asked why the world was a sack of stinking crap that took every possible opportunity to make your lives a little more miserable. It used to drive you mad when you were younger, but now you kind of get it. Because. That's just how it is, nothing to be done, keep on surviving anyway.

Thinking of your mother reminds you of your journal, which in turn reminds you of your journal's current location. You jolt upright.

“Terezi!” The other two are looking at you like you've gone completely insane, but you don't care because if she wasn't pretending in order to trick information out of you then she's on your side. Maybe it's the desperation talking, but you don't think she was just using you; the look on her face when she talked about other people with marks was too hopeful. And in the same way that Gamzee is similar to the person you dream about, you have reason to think that she'll be fair in her own way. You look at the sunwalker and your smile becomes a little predatory. You might not remember the notes around the symbol, but you're pretty sure you know which one he is, too. You only ever dreamed up one idiot who spoke like that.

“Jake, right?” you say, and hold your breath.

He nods absently. “Yes, that's... hold up just one minute here, buddy, I never told you that!”

“No, you didn't,” you say, reaching for the straps on your bracer. “Now sit down and shut up while I tell you what else I know.”  


### Suggestions Used

 _Asuka Kureru_ – Karkat: let it slip/hint that Gamzee is also god-marked.

 _Ephemeral_Dreamer_ – Karkat: see if you can convince Terezi to help you save Gamzee

 _Asuka Kureru_ – Karkat == > LOOK TOO CUTE TO KILL D:

 _UDMonk_ \- Karkat: Punch the bitch. Be the hero. (Don't actually do this, but vindictively imagine it as the situation with you and Gamzee is being explained to you.)

 _Asuka Kureru_ – Karkat: *kick* Jake.

 _Silverkyo_ – Karkat: Save your Friend

 _WhiteTiger1221_ – Karkat: Recall what your trance visions have shown you about Terezi Pyrope. Make plan to save Gamzee.

 _Ms Arano_ – Terezi: Read more of Karkat's book.

 _Silverkyo_ – Terezi: Assist your fellow marked hero and get to the bottom of this.

 _OrderOfTheToast_ \- And maybe eventually She [Terezi] would join with them after Karkat convinces the Crazy blind- Drow that no hes not going to murder the high prince...

 _WhiteTiger1221_ – Terezi: This Shanty thug is in a similar position to you when you helped Kanaya escape, help him save his friend.

 _Ephemeral_Dreamer_ – Jake: try to escape from the dungeon.

 _unholygrunt_ – Jake: find your way out of this mess you made.

 _Silverkyo_ – Jake: Where the hell are you?

 _Ms Arano_ – Jake: Converse with your fellow prisoners.

 _MASK_ – JAKE: make the best of your situation

 _WhiteTiger1221_ \- Jake: Become relevant, help rescue Gamzee, probably unwittingly.

 _WhiteTiger1221_ – Gamzee: Wait unknowingly for rescue.

### System Notes

 **Recognising that fourteen is a divinely significant number = DC20**  
Karkat cannot make the appropriate skill check.  
Terezi's knowledge religion check = 17  
NEITHER CHARACTER REALISES THAT THERE ARE FOURTEEN “REAL” GODS.

 **Seeing that something is off about Gamzee's drink = DC19**  
Jake's craft alchemy check = 20  
Karkat's perception check = 2  
Gamzee's perception check (+2) = 15  
JAKE NOTICES THE KING'S SLEEP POISON IN GAMZEE'S CUP JUST IN THE NICK OF TIME.  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am an idiot.
> 
> The reason this chapter is late is because I didn't notice until I was about a third of the way through that it was going to be long. Then it got longer.
> 
> I am never writing a chapter this long again. I need to use less suggestions at once.
> 
> I am just so. Fucking. Tired. Right now.
> 
> EDIT:  
> Moved the notes from the top of the chapter to the bottom.


	18. ==> Jade: Get On The Road Again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Hero point votes:**  
>  Dave 10  
> Jake 4  
> Karkat 3  
> Rose 2  
> Gamzee 1  
> Dirk 1  
> John 1

## ==> Jade: Get On The Road Again

Warm evening sunlight and spots of soft rain hit your face as you pull yourself up over the lip of the hole. Shuffling around to help the others over the uneven edge of broken flagstones and thick vines stains your knees mossy green. Bec needs a hand the most, your new friends having to shove from behind while you pull from above, but the crude stairway that you built together doesn't quite reach all the way to the top and both Kanaya and Aradia gladly accept your hand to help them over the chest-high obstruction. Sollux just glares at you when you offer; you decide that if he wants to be an ass about it you're not going to get in his way. Instead, you take the chance to straighten up and stretch out muscles that are aching from hours of moving big heavy rocks.

The five of you are in the ruins of what was clearly once one of the temple rooms, but it's hard to work out much more than that because the forest has dismantled it thoroughly. None of the remaining walls reaches higher than your head and most of them are nothing more than a few eroded blocks poking out of tangled roots and thorny bushes. A lopsided tree behind you seems to be responsible for the collapse of the floor and wall that let you escape; you pat it gently as you look at its exposed roots, destroyed themselves as their support crumbled away beneath them. Its thick curtain of leaves forms part of the canopy that replaces the roof here, the green branches staining the golden sunlight as it passes through and warding off both raindrops and any fierce summer heat that lingers. A faintly puzzled frown crosses your face; a strange, putrid smell hangs in the air, and you can't quite shake the feeling that you should know the cause.

"This is quite an interesting sculpture," says Kanaya, and you look around to see her standing in front of the remains of a statue. It's more intact than the rest of the room, which isn't saying much; the chipped plinth holds an oversized pair of crouching legs, a strangely predatory stance that shears off mid-waist. Scattered chunks of stone give a few hints as to the rest of the original figure; here a stone fist grips the hilt of some unknown weapon, there a pair of blank granite eyes stare out from under a carved scowl.

"I wonder who it is?" Kanaya says, running her fingers along the edge of the broken torso. She seems pretty interested, but the little hairs on the back of your neck are tingling and under your hand Bec is tense. Something about this place is giving you both the jitters, which is a sure sign that it's bad news! You're about to suggest moving further away from the creepy abandoned ruins when the breeze shifts and the horrible scent becomes strong enough to make you gag. Your companions watch with various levels of concern as you walk slowly over to the door-gap in the higher of the side walls, holding your nose closed and breathing shallowly as you look into the next ruined room.

You sort of know what you're going to find, but what you see on the other side is worse than you were expecting. A dozen or more dead bodies litter the cracked stones, bloated and purpling, interspersed with dry elfish bones and scattered, rust-spotted weapons and armour. Your stomach does a seriously acrobatic flip as the stench of rotting flesh surrounds you, and there is barely time to turn and prop yourself against the half-wall before you hurl up everything you've eaten lately and then some.

You hear rather than see your companions coming up behind you, incapacitated as you are. Beside you Bec whimpers and you reach out in an attempt to ruffle the fur between his ears. With his sensitive nose it must be a thousand times worse, poor thing!

"What's going on... oh!" Aradia moves into your line of vision, eyes becoming round as she looks at the grisly scene. You're about to comment, to say how awful it is, when she lifts her hand and makes a few swift gestures. Her eyes begin to glow with the same deep red light that you saw when she was moving rocks earlier; you just about have time to realise that she's casting a spell to detect magical energies when Sollux comes up behind her and looks at the bodies critically. "Anything?" he asks. Aradia nods, smiling in delight as she points to several of the dead in turn.

"His cloak... oh, and those bracers... ooh, that guy has something in his pocket!"

As Sollux strides out across the moss-covered flagstones you can't do anything but watch him in shock. Bec nudges against you and your voice starts working just as the sorcerer kneels down next to the first oozing corpse.

"What are you doing?!" you squeak, disbelief and nausea warring for supreme command of your thoughts. Sollux blinks owlishly and stares at you in vacant surprise.

"Looting, duh," he says. Thin grey fingers lift the edge of the gossamer brown cloak that is trapped under the dead man, the fine material stained by several dark patches. "Thith thit ith magic."

You swallow, trying and failing to ignore the litany of _ew, ew, corpse juices, gross_ that is chasing around your head right behind your keen awareness of the smell. "But... isn't that kind of, uh..."

"Mercenary?" Kanaya suggests shakily from just behind and to the side of you. You look over to see that her lips are a tight line and her usually black skin looks a little more charcoal than usual. "Amoral? Utterly disrespectful to the souls of the departed?"

Aradia giggles, walking backwards away from you towards another dead body. "It's okay! They're not using it, after all, so I'm sure they wouldn't mind us helping ourselves!" She nearly trips over an outflung arm and pinwheels to regain balance. "Oops!" She glances about thoughtfully then perks up, pointing to a slumped corpse in the shade of one of the ruined walls, its gender no longer distinguishable. A somewhat tattered backpack hangs from its rotting shoulders. "Hey, you should check and see if there's food in there. We're running kind of short, after all!"

Kanaya follows her finger; from the look on her face she feels about as unwell as you. "Forgive my ignorance, but won't any food in there be contaminated by the adjacent decomposing form? Because even if I can remove the toxins from the food, I am not particularly comfortable consuming something that contains material that used to be part of a person." She frowns. “And I believe that this is a smell that will cling, anyway, which in my case will certainly preclude any great consumption of food for some time.”

You pale a little at the thought that you might start to smell of gross purple rotting bloated dead people. Sollux doesn't even seem to be bothered; he pulls a slightly disgusted face when a layer of nearly black skin peels off on his fingers and you nearly vomit again when he wipes it off on the moss.

"Food thoud be fine if it'th wrapped properly," he says, fiddling with the cloak clasp and completely unheeding of the look of horror you and Kanaya are sharing. "The thmell almotht thertainly got to it, but Aradia can fixth that, no problem." He sighs wistfully. “If we're really lucky then they'll have thomething better than fucking wandermealth.”

It's the final straw; you can't stand one more second of this callousness. “What in the hells is wrong with you!?” you yell, temper rising fast. How can he sound so normal about casually robbing the dead? He's spent the whole day being nothing but rude and unhelpful and you've really tried to be friendly but if he's going to act like some sort of heartless bandit then you don't really think you want to bother with him any more!

Oh, wait, did you say all that out loud? Good!

All three of them are staring at you, but you only have eyes for Sollux. Flickers of blue and red fire are flashing in the air around the sorcerer, his eyes narrowed to slits behind his dark glasses. You glare right back at him as he slowly gets to his feet, fists clenching into tight balls.

“What the _fuck_ did you call me?” he hisses, and you reach out to wrap your fingers in the thick ruff of fur around Bec's neck. The low rumble of your companion's growl reverberates through your whole body and you square your shoulders, straightening from the slump the sick smell of the carnage had you in.

“You heard me!” you say, glad that something you've done has finally gotten through to this jerk. “You're a stupid dumbass bandit who never does anything nice for anyone, ever!”

Sollux starts shouting, and in the half-second it takes for you realise that his words aren't in any language of mortalkind Aradia has already grabbed his arm and slammed a hand across his mouth.

“NO!” she yells, and it's not a protest; she's ordering him not to cast against you. You remember the fire he summoned against the wolves earlier and it's like a bucket of cold water down your spine. Your eyes briefly meet Aradia's, and you think you see a small frown cross her face before a bright smile asserts itself.

“I've got this!” she calls to you, not releasing her grip on Sollux. “Why don't you just go back that way and wait for us to finish up!?”

A gentle hand touches your arm. “That sounds like an extremely good idea,” Kanaya says. “While I can't say I usually appreciate the sunlight, given its effects on my eyes, I do consider this to be an ideal opportunity to enjoy the weather and perhaps relax a little.”

You know when you're being herded, but honestly you're just glad to be moving away from the decomposing bodies and the disturbing pair looting them. To your dismay, though, the smell follows you out of the ruins and a couple of dozen yards into the forest proper, a distance that Kanaya deems somehow proper. Curious, you sniff at your sleeve and gag; it turns out that dead people get in your clothes.

Bec whimpers and lies down, paws covering his snout. You can sympathise.

“Aradia will be able to remove the smell,” Kanaya says, watching you through drooping eyes. “I myself will still be bathing at the earliest possible convenience, but Sollux was not deceiving you.”

“Screw Sollux,” you reply, still replaying that moment in your head; his mouth opening, his arm already half-raised to summon arcane power against you. In a straight-up fight you think you've got a good chance of beating him, but you shouldn't have to fight him at all, let alone worry about him trying to kill you when you should be safe. “He's just crazy,” you tell Kanaya.

The drow sighs. “I will agree that Sollux is hardly the most stable of personalities, but I believe that you may have inadvertently provoked him into his chosen course of action.”

You snort. “Yeah, right. I didn't say anything worth slinging spells over!”

“Perhaps not from your perspective, or mine,” Kanaya says, leaning back into the heavy trunk of an oak tree with a little wiggle. She seems to hesitate for a few seconds before continuing. “Several months ago, not long after I first joined up with Sollux and Aradia, the Porthaven watch posted an open bounty on bandits in the region. I believe there had been some significant problems with trade caravans being raided, and even some pressure from the Phooka clans. At any rate, for ten gold pieces a head, alive or dead, there were a good number of hunters interested in the offer. Including us.”

You frown, absently petting Bec as you try to work out where this is going. “So, what? Did the bandits call him names too or something?”

Kanaya's shakes her head. “They never got the chance.” Her face is grim, glancing back to where her comrades are still at their grisly task. “Neither of them ever tried to take a live prisoner; I honestly don't believe they even considered it.” She hesitates. “I... cannot be sure of this, but I think that a few times there might have been survivors. Until I turned my back.”

Your hand stops dead in Bec's fur. “Sollux murdered them?”

“Not just Sollux,” Kanaya says, voice soft as if she's afraid to be overheard. “Aradia hides it better, but I saw the same anger in her a few times.” She casts another glance towards the ruin before looking back to you. “Understand, they aren't usually so vicious. I would not travel with them if that were so.”

You nod understanding. “So, they really hate bandits?”

“I would say that hatred is something of an understatement,” Kanaya says. You wince as things slot into place.

“Oh, and I called him one!”

Kanaya nods. “Personally, I'm amazed Aradia stopped him, but I suppose she is generally more rational. Don't be surprised if she is upset with you later, though.”

You sigh and lean back against the tree. “Wow. I had no idea!” You're starting to feel pretty terrible about slinging that insult. Protecting people from bandits is supposed to be one of the things that the Druids do, and it's sounding a lot like your order failed Sollux and Aradia at some point in the past. You fall into a mildly uncomfortable silence; Kanaya closes her eyes, either resting or praying as the sun sinks lower on the horizon, and you try to keep your breathing shallow as you follow her example. You wish that you had Guardian Wolfsister here to talk to; everything is getting way more complicated than you were expecting, and you need her guidance.

You can imagine her now, tall and proud, hair the colour of autumn leaves bound back with leather and green eyes always looking through to the heart of things. In your mind, she's sitting on one of the large rocks at the edge of the hot springs in the Whispering Grove; Fleetwind is curled at her feet, the older wolf dozing in the warmth. It's dark in the cave, the only light coming from the shaft overhead that lets in the natural light whatever it may be. Spring rain, summer sun, autumn showers and winter snow all fall in turn to land in the bubbling pool.

The smile of your guardian is a root, a foundation, that holds you up and makes you strong. _Nature is never wasteful_ , she says, the old lesson sounding new again in your mind. _And we shall follow that example_.

Light pressure on your shoulder jolts you back to the waking world; your eyes fly open and you find yourself looking right at Aradia's face. She grins at you.

“Hey! We're done,” she says, and you look about to see Sollux crouching a few feet away and glaring at you warily. There's a small pile of things on the ground in front of him, barely visible in the dim twilight under the trees. From the sky you'd guess you've been trancing for just less than an hour. Kanaya is also sitting up and stretching a little guiltily, but fortunately Bec seems to have been awake the whole time to keep watch; you scratch behind his ear in thanks and he licks your cheek affectionately. It occurs to you that neither you nor your wolf stink any more, and you experimentally sniff your hand to be sure. It smells faintly of lavender, but nothing more.

“Oh, I cleaned up while you were out,” Aradia says, scooting back over to Sollux and their haul. “I mean, I already had the spell ready for all this stuff, so I figured I might as well do us too! I hope you don't mind.”

“No, that's fine,” you say, relieved that you won't have to try and scrub it out. You had the uncomfortable feeling that it would have lingered for days. “And... I'm sorry.”

Aradia looks over her shoulder at you and tilts her head. “Sorry? For what?” She sounds genuinely puzzled, but after what Kanaya told you that's probably just a pretence. You wonder how much else she hides.

“You were right,” you say, deciding to focus on the present. “About taking from the dead, I mean. It would have been a waste to leave it behind, and I shouldn't have been upset by that.” You can feel your cheeks burning a little pink at the admission and Kanaya is staring at you like you just lost your mind, but Aradia's face breaks into the sunniest smile you've ever seen on another person.

“That's okay,” she says, dropping down next to Sollux. “You can't help being upset, and dead people do smell pretty bad!” She reaches into the pile of items by Sollux and holds one out to you, a bundle of thick leather cords that form some sort of convoluted harness.

“Hey!” Sollux protests, trying to grab the straps back; Aradia holds him off one-handed and offers them to you.

“Here, I think you probably deserve something for helping us out of that hole, and I bet you'll find these handy!”

You take the harness cautiously, but your questing fingers find nothing suspicious about the leather. It smells as clean as you, and the patterns tooled in the straps are free of strange marks or stains.

“Thanks!” you say, still peering at the thing. “Um- what is it?”

“Oh, here,” says Aradia, grabbing one end and throwing a loop over your head. You have to take off your cloak but she helps you settle the harness so that it wraps around your shoulders and upper arms. Even through your shirt, you think it makes you look more muscular, but you still don't really notice any difference and you say as much.

“If you don't want it, give it back,” Sollux says. Aradia rolls her eyes then shoves the backpack he had dumped on the ground towards you.

“Here, lift this,” she says. “And yours! Oh, and- Kanaya, can I borrow that, thanks- this too!”

You grab the three packs and heft them, expecting to stagger under the weight. Instead, you lift them easily in your arms, the three laden bags as light as feathers to you. You squeak in delight and take a few steps, your magically enhanced strength balancing the weight like it's nothing.

“They only make you stronger for carrying things,” Aradia says, watching you with amusement. “But I thought that since you're going to have to travel a lot as a Guardian of the Greenweald, it should be helpful for you!”

“It's amazing!” you reply, putting the backpacks down by their owners one by one. You can't wipe the grin off your face. “Thanks!”

“You want to theem thankful, you can carry the exthra food,” Sollux says, glowering at you. You roll your eyes and settle back onto the ground, but you start loading the salvaged packets into your own backpack.

“Will we be continuing on our way now?” Kanaya asks. You look up in dismay; it might be selfish of you as the only diurnal member of the group, but you'd much rather spend the night resting than travelling, especially after such a busy day!

To your everlasting relief, Aradia yawns. “Actually, I wouldn't mind getting some real sleep,” she says with a wry smile. Sollux snorts and reaches for his backpack again.

“I'll thet up the tent,” he says. “The retht of uth can draw up a watch thcedule, I thuppothe. Make thure that whatever killed thothe people doethn't come back.”

You look up from stashing the food in surprise. “What do you mean?”

Sollux makes a rude gesture, so Kanaya steps in to answer. “The most recent of those bodies were only a few weeks old,” she says gently, as if scared to upset you. “But there were others that were older. It seems that there is something dangerous in this region that we would be best advised to be wary of.”

You try not to laugh at her, but a small snicker escapes nonetheless. “No, it's fine!” you say, glad to have some good news. “I mean, you're right about some of the bodies being older, but they all died in the same fight!”

All of a sudden you're the centre of attention again. “What the fuck ith that thuppothed to mean?” Sollux asks, eyes narrowing suspiciously. You feel Bec shift and rest a soothing hand on him before he gets too protective and bites the sorcerer or something. But really, couldn't they tell from where the swords were? From how the bones were scattered across the bodies? The whole scene is burned into your memory and you know that the blades clasped in skeletal hands are the ones that delivered fatal injuries to the recently dead.

“It means that there was a fight a few weeks ago, and that only one side were alive to begin with!” you tell the others. “It can happen with old temples- some of them have undead sealed up inside for centuries, Guardian Wolfsister told me. But they're probably all dead now!” You pause to think about what you just said. “Well, they were already dead, so destroyed, I guess? Not going to get up again, anyway!”

“Fuck thith tho much. I want a new Druid,” Sollux says, and you're about to start explaining that you're perfectly qualified to do your job so he can just stick it when you are interrupted by the inside of your own head. It chimes like a bell, a sense of some foreign magic touching against your own, and you recognise the _furfeelrunningpackmoonhowl_ of the aura moments before words start to form unbidden in your mind.

alphaWarden [AW] is SENDING a message to gardenGnostic [GG]  
Gunnar Quartzkyn SENT too me thys Hoour past- yoour Broother ys myssyng. Coontynue too the Clanhoold too assyst. They fear the Droow may have Jake.

Jake. Horror grips you as your mind races; you only have a few seconds to reply to your guardian's Sending and you won't have another chance. She must have used one of her scrolls to get you this message- you don't even know if she has another.

Fortunately, you have the perfect idea of what to do, and just the right people to ask.

gardenGnostic [GG] is SENDING a reply to alphaWarden [AW]  
:O ive met some adventurers on my way so ill ask them to come too!! very worried, but thanks for the SENDING. ill be careful!!!

The spell carries your carefully formed words away into the ether and dissipates in their wake. You open your eyes to see Kanaya looking at you through dark eyeglasses in confusion- probably to ask what's happening, you know you get kind of a goofy look when you're receiving magical messages. In the growing night she's hard to see except for the white crown of her hair.

“So, I know you said that you were an exile from the drow, but what kind of exile?” you ask, bundling your cloak up into your lap nervously. “I mean, would you be able to go back in disguise, or do you really have to stay away forever?”

She frowns. “I would most likely be safe to return if I used a false name and did not draw attention to myself,” she says. “But it is not something I would want to risk, and I have no compelling reason to do so. Why do you ask?”

You shift uncomfortably and take a deep breath. “Well, I just had a Sending from Guardian Wolfsister, and my brother Jake is missing and his family think that the drow kidnapped him, so I thought that since you're for hire then maybe if I paid you then you could come with me and help to find him?” You pause and look between them; Kanaya shocked, Aradia sadly sympathetic, Sollux still glaring. “Uh, please?”

“How much?” Sollux demands, before anyone else can speak. You shrug.

“I don't really know?” You pluck at the leather straps across your shoulders. “But if nothing else I can sell this! It's magic, so it has to be worth something. And the Guardians have a fund for things like this, so I can ask Guardian Wolfsister for some money, and Jake's family will probably be able to give you something too! They're dwarves, so they have all kinds of neat stuff.”

Sollux looks like he's calculating something in his head, then whistles. “Okay, tho that'th like, three hundred gold each _minimum_.” He shrugs. “Promithe to thtop being an inthufferable bitthch and I'll hunt drow for that much. You guyth?”

Aradia leans over and rests on his shoulder. “If you're in, I am,” she says, smiling. “Someone's got to keep you out of trouble!”

You look hopefully at Kanaya, and the drow woman sighs. “I am not exactly comfortable with returning to my people,” she says. “But three hundred gold is an appreciable sum, and if your brother truly is a captive then he will need whatever help he can get.” She pauses and drums her fingers thoughtfully against the trunk of a tree. “I will accompany you to see his kinfolk,” she says, finally. “Perhaps it will be an easier decision when I know what precisely I am committing to with my words.”

She is bowled over by your flying tackle-hug. “Thank you!” You may not know everything about her past, but you know it was tough for her to even agree to this much. You know that Jake may be in terrible danger, but as you let Kanaya go and start offering to help Sollux set up his tent, you can't shake the feeling that with these allies you will be able to help him.

The warm feeling of being able to help stays with you for your entire watch and lingers in your visions as you trance.  


### Suggestions Used

 _Silverkyo_ – Aradia's Group: Continue on your Journey

 _UDMonk_ – Jade, Sollux, Aradia, Kanaya: Get out of the temple before even more bad shit happens.

 _MASK_ \- Jade: okay, rocks in place, time for some sweet, sweet sunlight.

 _Ephemeral_Dreamer_ – Aradia: Try to find a way out... even if you would love exploring these Ruins further you haven't got the equipment for it right now and your companions (mostly Sollux) are starting to get twitchy

 _Cec_ – Sollux: Get in a fight

 _Silverkyo_ – Aradia: Pacify Sollux

 _ttdOOOO_ – Jade: Discover that your brother [Jake] is missing.

[System Notes](http://celynbrum.tumblr.com/post/59699800175/lodad-system-notes-chapter-18)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next week I intend to follow this command:
> 
>  _jadescribe_ – Author: receive the well-deserved rest that you deserve
> 
> What this means is that although there will be an update, it will not be story. It will instead be...
> 
> LEVEL TWO!!!
> 
> Yes, that's right! Everyone levels up! Also the final results of the Hero Point Votes will be announced and implemented, so last minute votes in now!
> 
> *author dances in irrational joy*
> 
> So yeah, part of the inspiration for this chapter is the way I've always wondered- why are adventuring parties always so okay with looting the dead? The ones in this chapter are extra grisly, but even if you've just finished stabbing up the bandits/evil cultists/bar toughs then you're talking about bodies that are soaking in blood from what you just did to them. And since bladder control is muscular, odds are blood isn't the only thing you have to worry about. Grossness aside, in a pseudo-medieval culture where the afterlife and ghosts are PROVEN to exist, why is nobody ever worried about vengeance from beyond the grave? Or, you know, just plain inclined to see it as theft and/or morally wrong?
> 
> After the first few times I guess it's just business as usual, but for Jade and Kanaya this was their first rodeo.
> 
> EDIT:  
> Moved the notes from the top of the chapter to the bottom, and farmed system notes out to Tumblr.


	19. -- LEVEL TWO --

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Hero point votes:**  
>  Dave 10  
> Jake 4  
> Karkat 3  
> John 3  
> Rose 2  
> Gamzee 1  
> Dirk 1  
> DAVE AND JAKE EACH GAIN 1 HERO POINT!  
> Voting now open for the next Hero Point award: one person will get one after three chapters.
> 
> So, there are new pictures for the characters whose clothes changed. Most of the big changes and additions are taking place in Equipment/Item Slots/Possessions and Class Features, although there will also be changes in Skills and modifications to Hero Points, Hit Points and Saves.
> 
> Normal story service will resume next week. Convoluted notes on elven ageing are available at the end of the chapter. Enjoy!

JOHN EGBERT [FIGHTER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/fighter.html#_fighter) ([TWO-HANDED FIGHTER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/fighter.html#_two-handed-fighter)) 2  
NEUTRAL GOOD

TL:DR – Gained the ability to push foes back with a strong strike, and got pretty good at breaking stuff.

[](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/a5838d9mbst2qr1/John%20Egbert.png?dl=0)

BASIC STATISTICS  
GENDER: Male  
HAIR/EYES: Black hair, blue eyes  
HOMELAND: City of Porthaven (Outer Ring)  
DEITY: The Heir of Breath  
LANGUAGES: Common, High Elven  
RACE: Tuatha (High Elf)

ATTRIBUTES  
STRENGTH: 15[+2]  
DEXTERITY: 12[+1]  
CONSTITUTION: 12[+1]  
INTELLIGENCE: 10[+0]  
WISDOM: 12[+1]  
CHARISMA: 13[+1]

HIT POINTS: 17/17  
HERO POINTS: 3/5  
INITIATIVE: +1  
BASE SPEED/S: 30ft (land)

ARMOUR CLASS [AC]: 14  
TOUCH AC: 11  
FLAT-FOOTED AC: 13

BASE ATTACK BONUS [BAB]: +2  
BASIC MELEE ATTACK: +4  
BASIC RANGED ATTACK: +3  
COMBAT MANEUVER BONUS [CMB]: +4 (+5 for Sundering)  
COMBAT MANEUVER DEFENCE [CMD]: 15 (16 for Sundering)

SAVES  
FORTITUDE: +5  
REFLEX: +2  
WILL: +2

[WEAPONS/ATTACKS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_weapon-descriptions)  
[WARHAMMER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_warhammer) \- Wielded two-handed for greater damage, and with the option of Power Attack for greater damage with lower accuracy.  
[DAGGER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_dagger) \- Can be thrown, range 10ft.

EQUIPMENT - [CARRYING CAPACITY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/additionalRules.html#_carrying-capacity) (STR 16)

EQUIPMENT - ITEM SLOTS  
CLOTHING: ARTISAN'S OUTFIT  
This outfit consists of a shirt with buttons, drawstring pants, shoes, and a slightly battered hat. It also includes a belt for carrying small items such as a money pouch.

ARMOUR: MASTERWORK STUDDED LEATHER  
+3 armour bonus, +5 max DEX bonus, 0 Armour Check Penalty, 15% Arcane Spell Failure Chance, LIGHT  
SPECIAL: Masterwork armour has an Armour Check Penalty one lower than normal and can be enchanted.

EQUIPMENT - POSSESSIONS  
Warhammer 5lbs, Masterwork Studded Leather 20lbs, Dagger 1lb, Waterskin 4lbs

>BACKPACK, MASTERWORK 4lbs (Capacity 60lbs, +1 STR to carry loads)  
Tent (Medium, 2 people) 30lbs, Bedroll 5lbs, Parade Armour 20lbs

>POUCH, BELT 0.5lbs (Capacity 10lbs)  
Flint and Steel, Bird Feather Token [x2], Flash Powder [x2], Itching Powder [x1] 2lbs, Sneezing Powder [x1] 2lbs

TOTAL 93.5lbs (34.5lbs without backpack)

EQUIPMENT - MONEY  
0CP, 9SP, 62GP, 0PP  
OTHER:

SKILLS  
TRAINED  
BLUFF +3(2), DIPLOMACY +2(1), +KNOWLEDGE(DUNGEONEERING) +5(2), +PROFESSION(PORTHAVEN GUARD) +5(1)

UNTRAINED  
ACROBATICS +1*, APPRAISE +0, +CLIMB +2*, +CRAFT +0, DISGUISE +1, ESCAPE ARTIST +1*, HEAL +1, +INTIMIDATE +1, PERCEPTION +3, PERFORM +1, +RIDE +1*, SENSE MOTIVE +1, STEALTH +1*, +SURVIVAL +1, +SWIM +2*  
(FLY +1*)

*Armour Check Penalty: Skill at –0 due to armour worn.  
+Class Skill

FEATS  
[POWER ATTACK [REQUIRES: STR 13, BAB+1]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_power-attack)  
The character can make exceptionally deadly melee attacks by sacrificing accuracy for strength.

[RACIAL ABILITIES: ELVEN](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advancedRaceGuide/coreRaces/elves.html#_elf-racial-traits)  
LANGUAGES - Tuatha begin play speaking Common and High Elven. Tuatha with high Intelligence scores can choose from the following: Celestial, Draconic, Gnoll, Gnome, Goblin, Orc, and Sylvan.

SPECIAL ABILITIES  
GODMARKED  
LEVEL 1:  
[HERO’S FORTUNE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/advancedNewRules.html#_hero's-fortune) \- Even at the start of his career, it was clear that the character had a chance at greatness, and his legend continues to grow with every adventure.  
[DEFLECTION AURA](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/cleric.html#_deflection-aura) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) - The character can emit an aura that makes nearby allies harder to hit for a short time dependent on his character level.  
EXTRA - The character receives a +1 resistance bonus on saving throws. This bonus increases by +1 for every 5 levels he possesses.

CLASS FEATURES  
WEAPON AND ARMOUR PROFICIENCY: FIGHTER  
A fighter is proficient with all simple and martial weapons and with all armour (heavy, light, and medium) and shields (including tower shields).

FEAT: [CLEAVE [REQUIRES: POWER ATTACK]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_cleave)  
The fighter can strike two adjacent foes with a single swing.

FEAT: [PUSHING ASSAULT [REQUIRES: STR 15, POWER ATTACK, BAB +1]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/advancedFeats.html#_pushing-assault)  
A strike made with a two-handed weapon can push a similar sized opponent backward.

[SHATTERING STRIKE (+1)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/fighter.html#_shattering-strike) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
At 2nd level, the two-handed fighter gains a bonus to sunder attempts and on damage rolls made against objects. 

* * *

ROSE LALONDE [ORACLE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/baseClasses/oracle.html) \- [DARK TAPESTRY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spellcastingClassOptions/oracle.html#_dark-tapestry) ([SEER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spellcastingClassOptions/oracle.html#_seer_\(archetype\))) 2  
TRUE NEUTRAL

TL:DR – New clothes, new wand, new spells.

[](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/il67n14ylluufcn/Rose%20Lalonde.png?dl=0)

BASIC STATISTICS  
GENDER: Female  
HAIR/EYES: Blonde hair, purple eyes  
HOMELAND: City of Porthaven (Temple District)  
DEITY: The Seer of Light  
LANGUAGES: Common, Celestial, Abyssal, Draconic, Sylvan  
RACE: Aasimar

ATTRIBUTES  
STRENGTH: 8[-1]  
DEXTERITY: 12[+1]  
CONSTITUTION: 10[+0]  
INTELLIGENCE: 14[+2]  
WISDOM: 15[+2]  
CHARISMA: 17[+3]

HIT POINTS: 13/13  
HERO POINTS: 3/5  
INITIATIVE: +1  
BASE SPEED/S: 30ft (land)

ARMOUR CLASS [AC]: 13  
TOUCH AC: 11  
FLAT-FOOTED AC: 12

BASE ATTACK BONUS [BAB]: +1  
BASIC MELEE ATTACK: +0  
BASIC RANGED ATTACK: +2  
COMBAT MANEUVER BONUS [CMB]: +0  
COMBAT MANEUVER DEFENCE [CMD]: 11

SAVES  
FORTITUDE: +0  
REFLEX: +1  
WILL: +5

[WEAPONS/ATTACKS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_weapon-descriptions)  
[DAGGER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_dagger) \- Can be thrown, range 10ft.  
[COLOUR SPRAY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/colorSpray.html#_color-spray) [WAND](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/magicItems/wands.html#_wands) (3/Day) – Standard Action to activate, does not provoke Attacks of Opportunity. 

EQUIPMENT - [CARRYING CAPACITY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/additionalRules.html#_carrying-capacity) (STR 8)

EQUIPMENT - ITEM SLOTS  
CLOTHING: ENTERTAINER'S OUTFIT  
This set of flashy- perhaps even gaudy- clothes is for entertaining. While the outfit looks whimsical, its practical design lets the character tumble, dance, walk a tightrope, or just run if the audience turns ugly.

ARMOUR: LEATHER ARMOUR  
+2 armour bonus, +6 max DEX bonus, -0 Armour Check Penalty, 10% Arcane Spell Failure Chance, LIGHT

EQUIPMENT - POSSESSIONS  
Dagger 1lb, Leather Armour 15lbs, Waterskin 4lbs, Holy Symbol (Silver) 1lb, Signet Ring

>POUCH, BELT 0.5lbs (Capacity 10lbs)  
Flint and Steel, Sewing Needle, String/Twine [50ft] 0.5lbs

>POUCH, BELT 0.5lbs (Capacity 10lbs)  
Stationary, Sealing Wax 1lb, Ink (Black) [1oz. Vial], Ink (Purple) [1oz. Vial], Inkpen

TOTAL 23.5lbs

EQUIPMENT - MONEY  
9CP, 3SP, 32GP, 0PP  
OTHER:

SKILLS  
TRAINED  
+DIPLOMACY +10(2), +KNOWLEDGE HISTORY +6(1), +KNOWLEDGE NOBILITY +6(1), +KNOWLEDGE PLANES +7(2), +KNOWLEDGE RELIGION +7(2), +SENSE MOTIVE +7(2), +SPELLCRAFT +7(2), USE MAGIC DEVICE +4(1)

UNTRAINED  
ACROBATICS +1*, APPRAISE +2, BLUFF +3, CLIMB -1*, +CRAFT +2, +DISGUISE +3, ESCAPE ARTIST +1*, +HEAL +2, +INTIMIDATE +3, PERCEPTION +4, PERFORM +3, RIDE +1*, +STEALTH +1*, SURVIVAL +2, SWIM -1*  
(FLY +1*)

*Armour Check Penalty: Skill at –0 due to armour worn.  
+Class Skill

FEATS  
[COMBAT CASTING](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_combat-casting)  
The character is adept at spellcasting when threatened or distracted.

[RACIAL ABILITIES: AASIMAR](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advancedRaceGuide/featuredRaces/aasimars.html#_aasimar-racial-traits)  
AASIMARS DO NOT COUNT AS OUTSIDERS FOR THE PURPOSE OF THIS SETTING.  
[DAYLIGHT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/daylight.html#_daylight) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Aasimars can touch an object and cause it to shed a brilliant light which drives back even magical darkness.  
LANGUAGES – Aasimars begin play speaking Common and Celestial. Aasimars with high Intelligence scores can choose any of the following bonus languages: Draconic, Dwarven, High Elven, Gnome, Halfling, and Sylvan.

SPECIAL ABILITIES  
GODMARKED  
LEVEL 1:  
[HERO’S FORTUNE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/advancedNewRules.html#_hero's-fortune) \- Even at the start of her career, it was clear that the character had a chance at greatness, and her legend continues to grow with every adventure.  
[LORE KEEPER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/cleric.html#_knowledge-domain) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] – The character can touch a creature to learn about its abilities and weaknesses.  
EXTRA – The character treats all Knowledge skills as class skills.

CLASS FEATURES  
WEAPON AND ARMOUR PROFICIENCY: ORACLE  
Oracles are proficient with all simple weapons, light armour, medium armour, and shields (except tower shields).

[CURSE: TONGUES (Abyssal)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/baseClasses/oracle.html#_tongues)  
Whenever the oracle is in combat, she can only speak and understand the Abyssal tongue. She automatically knows the language and can speak it at other times voluntarily.

[REVELATION: NATURAL DIVINATION [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/baseClasses/oracle.html#_natural-divination)  
An oracle can read the entrails of a freshly killed animal, interpret the flights of birds, and chart marks in dirt or stone to gain small advantages at some point in the next day.

SPELLS  
LEVEL 0 [At Will] Save DC 13  
[DETECT MAGIC](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/detectMagic.html#detect-magic), [GUIDANCE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/guidance.html#guidance), [LIGHT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/light.html#light), [READ MAGIC](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/readMagic.html#read-magic), [STABILIZE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/stabilize.html#stabilize)

LEVEL 1 [5/Day] Save DC 14  
[ABADAR'S](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/all-spells/a/abadar-s-truthtelling) [TRUTHTELLING](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/zoneOfTruth.html#zone-of-truth), [CURE LIGHT WOUNDS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/cureLightWounds.html#cure-light-wounds), [ENTROPIC SHIELD](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/entropicShield.html#_entropic-shield), [INFLICT LIGHT WOUNDS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/inflictLightWounds.html#inflict-light-wounds)

* * *

DAVE STRIDER [ROGUE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/rogue.html#_rogue) ([SWASHBUCKLER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/rogue.html#_swashbuckler)) 2  
TRUE NEUTRAL

TL:DR – Cool new magic pouch, improved at getting out of the way of area attacks, and able to cause bleeding damage on a sneak attack.

[ ](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/law8m9rhpnutadm/Dave%20Strider.png?dl=0)

BASIC STATISTICS  
GENDER: Male  
HAIR/EYES: Blonde hair, red eyes  
HOMELAND: City of Porthaven (No Fixed Abode)/The Greenweald Forest Region (No Fixed Abode)  
DEITY: The Knight of Time  
LANGUAGES: Common, Celestial, High Elven  
RACE: Aasimar

ATTRIBUTES  
STRENGTH: 14[+2]  
DEXTERITY: 15[+2]  
CONSTITUTION: 13[+1]  
INTELLIGENCE: 12[+1]  
WISDOM: 12[+1]  
CHARISMA: 10[+0]

HIT POINTS: 15/15  
HERO POINTS: 2/3  
INITIATIVE: +2  
BASE SPEED/S: 30ft (land)

ARMOUR CLASS [AC]: 15  
TOUCH AC: 12  
FLAT-FOOTED AC: 13

BASE ATTACK BONUS [BAB]: +1  
BASIC MELEE ATTACK: +3  
BASIC RANGED ATTACK: +3  
COMBAT MANEUVER BONUS [CMB]: +3  
COMBAT MANEUVER DEFENCE [CMD]: 15

SAVES  
FORTITUDE: +1  
REFLEX: +5  
WILL: +1

[WEAPONS/ATTACKS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_weapon-descriptions)  
[LONGSWORD](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_longsword) \- [Fragile Quality](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/combat/primitiveArmorAndWeapons.html#fragile), can use two-handed for additional damage but cannot use buckler.  
[SHORTSWORD](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_shortsword)  
[DAGGER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_dagger) \- Can be thrown, range 10ft.

EQUIPMENT - [CARRYING CAPACITY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/additionalRules.html#_carrying-capacity) (STR 15)

EQUIPMENT - ITEM SLOTS  
CLOTHING: PICKPOCKET'S OUTFIT + MASK  
Outfitted with concealed pockets, this clothing gives the character a +2 bonus on hiding small objects on his person. It consists of a pull-on shirt with long sleeves, a loose jacket, drawstring pants, boots and a sturdy belt. The mask is an ornately decorated strip of dark fabric with eye-holes, that both mimics and mocks a stereotypical "bandit" mask.

ARMOUR: LEATHER ARMOUR  
+2 armour bonus, +6 max DEX bonus, -0 Armour Check Penalty, 10% Arcane Spell Failure Chance, LIGHT

SHIELD: BUCKLER  
+1 shield bonus, -1 Armour Check Penalty, 5% Arcane Spell Failure Chance  
SPECIAL: The character can use his shield arm to wield a weapon, but takes a -1 penalty on attack rolls while doing so, and loses the +1 shield bonus to AC until his next turn. It is not possible to shield bash with a buckler.

EQUIPMENT - POSSESSIONS  
Longsword (Fragile) 4lbs, Shortsword 2lbs, Leather Armour 15lbs, Clothing (Mask, 3gp) 1lb, Buckler 5lbs, Dagger 1lb

>BACKPACK, MASTERWORK 4lbs (Capacity 60lbs, +1 STR to carry loads)  
Tent (Small, 1 person) 20lbs, Bedroll 5lbs, Kit, Cooking 2lbs

>POUCH, BELT 0.5lbs (Capacity 10lbs)  
Flint and Steel, Whetstone 1lb

>POUCH, PATHFINDER 1lbs (Capacity 10lbs)[Extra-Dimensional Space, Command Word Activated, Does Not Detect As Magical]  
Tools (Thieves') 1lb, Waterskin 4lbs

TOTAL 59.5lbs (28.5lbs without backpack)

EQUIPMENT - MONEY  
3CP, 0SP, 5GP, 0PP  
OTHER:

SKILLS  
TRAINED  
+ACROBATICS +7(2)*, +APPRAISE +5(1), +BLUFF +8(2), +ESCAPE ARTIST +7(2)*, +INTIMIDATE +4(1), +KNOWLEDGE LOCAL +5(1), +PERCEPTION +8(2), +PERFORM(ILL BEATS AND SICK FIRES) +5(2), +SLEIGHT OF HAND +7(2)*, +STEALTH +7(2)*, +USE MAGIC DEVICE +5(2)

UNTRAINED  
+CLIMB +2*, +CRAFT +1, +DIPLOMACY +2, +DISGUISE +0, HEAL +1, PERFORM +0, RIDE +2*, +SENSE MOTIVE +1, SURVIVAL +1, +SWIM +2*  
(FLY +2*)

*Armour Check Penalty: Skill at –1 due to armour worn.  
+Class Skill

FEATS  
[ SKILL FOCUS (BLUFF)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_skill-focus)  
The character is particularly adept at the chosen skill.

[RACIAL ABILITIES: AASIMAR](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advancedRaceGuide/featuredRaces/aasimars.html#_aasimar-racial-traits)  
AASIMARS DO NOT COUNT AS OUTSIDERS FOR THE PURPOSE OF THIS SETTING.  
[DAYLIGHT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/daylight.html#_daylight) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Aasimars can touch an object and cause it to shed a brilliant light which drives back even magical darkness.  
LANGUAGES – Aasimars begin play speaking Common and Celestial. Aasimars with high Intelligence scores can choose any of the following bonus languages: Draconic, Dwarven, High Elven, Gnome, Halfling, and Sylvan.

SPECIAL ABILITIES  
GODMARKED  
LEVEL 1:  
WEAPON PROFICIENCY (BASTARD SWORD)  
[INSPIRING COMMAND](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/cleric.html#_inspiring-command) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] – The character can issue an inspiring command to his allies, improving their accuracy, defence, and focus for a short time.

CLASS FEATURES  
WEAPON AND ARMOUR PROFICIENCY: ROGUE  
Rogues are proficient with all simple weapons, plus the hand crossbow, rapier, sap, shortbow, and short sword. They are proficient with light armour, but not with shields.

[MARTIAL TRAINING [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY] (Longsword)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/rogue.html#_martial-training)  
At first level, the swashbuckler may select one martial weapon to add to his list of weapon proficiencies. In addition, he may take the combat trick rogue talent up to two times. 

[SNEAK ATTACK [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY] (+1d6 Precision Damage)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/rogue.html#_sneak-attack)  
A rogue can strike a vital spot for more damage whenever their foe is in a vulnerable position.

[EVASION](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/rogue.html#_evasion-rogue) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
At 2nd level and higher, the rogue can avoid even magical and unusual attacks with great agility.

ROGUE TALENTS  
[BLEEDING ATTACK](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/rogue.html#_rogue-talents-bleeding-attack) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
A rogue with this ability can cause living opponents to bleed by hitting them with a sneak attack.

* * *

JADE HARLEY [DRUID](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/druid.html#_druid) ([WOLF SHAMAN](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/druid.html#_wolf-shaman)) 2  
NEUTRAL GOOD

TL:DR – Gained the power to take on aspects of the wolf for short times. Also can move unhindered through pesky vegetation now.

[ ](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/j3ycsucgf308cn9/Jade%20Harley.png?dl=0)

BASIC STATISTICS  
GENDER: Female  
HAIR/EYES: Black hair, green eyes  
HOMELAND: The Greenweald Forest Region (The Whispering Grove)  
DEITY: The Witch of Space  
LANGUAGES: Common, High Elven, Sylvan, Druidic  
RACE: Tuatha (High Elf)

ATTRIBUTES  
STRENGTH: 8[-1]  
DEXTERITY: 15[+2]  
CONSTITUTION: 12[+1]  
INTELLIGENCE: 12[+1]  
WISDOM: 15[+2]  
CHARISMA: 12[+1]

HIT POINTS: 14/14  
HERO POINTS: 1/3  
INITIATIVE: +2  
BASE SPEED/S: 30ft (land)

ARMOUR CLASS [AC]: 13  
TOUCH AC: 12  
FLAT-FOOTED AC: 11

BASE ATTACK BONUS [BAB]: +1  
BASIC MELEE ATTACK: +0  
BASIC RANGED ATTACK: +3  
COMBAT MANEUVER BONUS [CMB]: +0  
COMBAT MANEUVER DEFENCE [CMD]: 12

SAVES  
FORTITUDE: +4  
REFLEX: +2  
WILL: +5

[WEAPONS/ATTACKS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_weapon-descriptions)  
[SLING](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_sling) – Less damage from improvised ammunition.  
[DAGGER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_dagger) \- Can be thrown, range 10ft.

EQUIPMENT - [CARRYING CAPACITY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/additionalRules.html#_carrying-capacity) (STR 16)

EQUIPMENT - ITEM SLOTS  
CLOTHING: TRAVELLER'S OUTFIT  
This set of clothes consists of boots, a wool skirt, a sturdy belt, a shirt with a vest, and an ample cloak with a hood.

ARMOUR: PADDED ARMOUR  
+1 armour bonus, +8 max DEX bonus, -0 Armour Check Penalty, 5% Arcane Spell Failure Chance, LIGHT

SHOULDERS: [MULEBACK CORDS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/magicItems/wondrousItems.html#_muleback-cords)  
These thick leather cords wrap around the wearer's biceps and shoulders; when worn, they make the muscles appear larger than normal and allow her to carry far more than usual.

EQUIPMENT - POSSESSIONS  
Sling, Padded Armour 10lbs, Muleback Cords 0.25lbs, Dagger 1lb, Waterskin 4lbs

>POUCH, BELT 0.5lbs (Capacity 10lbs)  
Sling Bullets [x20] 10lbs

>POUCH, BELT 0.5lbs (Capacity 10lbs)  
Flint and Steel, Holly and Mistletoe, Fishhook, Silent Whistle

>BACKPACK, COMMON 2lbs (Capacity 60lbs)  
Tent (Small, 1 person) 20lbs, Bedroll 5lbs

TOTAL 73.25lbs (26.25lbs without backpack)

EQUIPMENT - MONEY  
0CP, 7SP, 50GP, 0PP  
OTHER:

SKILLS  
TRAINED  
+HEAL +8(1), +HANDLE ANIMAL +6(2), +KNOWLEDGE(GEOGRAPHY) +6(2), +KNOWLEDGE(NATURE) +8(2), +PERCEPTION +8(1), +SPELLCRAFT +6(2), +SURVIVAL +11(2)

UNTRAINED  
ACROBATICS +2*, APPRAISE +1, BLUFF +1, +CLIMB -1*, +CRAFT +1, DIPLOMACY +1, DISGUISE +1, ESCAPE ARTIST +2*, INTIMIDATE +1, PERFORM +1, +RIDE +2*, SENSE MOTIVE +2, STEALTH +2*, SWIM -1*  
(+FLY +2*)

*Armour Check Penalty: Skill at –0 due to armour worn.  
+Class Skill

FEATS  
[SELF-SUFFICIENT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_self-sufficient)  
The character knows how to get along in the wild and how to effectively treat wounds.

[RACIAL ABILITIES: ELVEN](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advancedRaceGuide/coreRaces/elves.html#_elf-racial-traits)  
LANGUAGES - Tuatha begin play speaking Common and High Elven. Tuatha with high Intelligence scores can choose from the following: Celestial, Draconic, Gnoll, Gnome, Goblin, Orc, and Sylvan.

SPECIAL ABILITIES  
GODMARKED  
LEVEL 1:  
WEAPON PROFICIENCY (MUSKET)  
[DIVINE VESSEL](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/cleric.html#_divine-vessel) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (4 USES/DAY) – The character can, whenever divine magic is cast on her, grant her nearby allies a boon on one of their next actions.

CLASS FEATURES  
WEAPON AND ARMOUR PROFICIENCY: DRUID  
Druids are proficient with the following weapons: club, dagger, dart, quarterstaff, scimitar, scythe, sickle, shortspear, sling, and spear. They are also proficient with all natural attacks (claw, bite, and so forth) of any form they assume with wild shape.  
Druids are proficient with light and medium armour but are prohibited from wearing metal armour. Druids are proficient with shields (except tower shields) but must use only wooden ones. A druid who wears prohibited armour or uses a prohibited shield is unable to cast druid spells or use any supernatural or spell-like class abilities while doing so, and for 24 hours thereafter.

[SPONTANEOUS CASTING](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/druid.html#_spontaneous-casting-druid)  
A druid can channel stored spell energy to summon a creature to aid her.

[NATURE BOND [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/druid.html#wolf-shaman): ANIMAL COMPANION (BEC, [WOLF](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/monsters/wolf.html#_wolf))  
HIT POINTS: 15/15  
SIZE: Medium SPEED: 50ft  
STR 13[+1], DEX 15[+2], CON 15[+2], INT 2[-4], WIS 12[+1], CHA 6[-2]  
ATTACK:  
BAB: +2 ATTACK: BITE +3 (1d6+1), trip  
CMB: +3  
DEFENCE:  
AC: 16 (Natural Armour +3)  
CMD: 15  
SAVES: FORT 5, REF 5, WILL 2  
SKILLS:  
Survival 2, Perception 5, Intimidate -1  
FEATS:  
[Improved Natural Armour](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/additionalMonsters/monsterFeats.html#improved-natural-armor), [Dodge](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_dodge)  
TRICKS:  
Down – The animal breaks off from combat or otherwise backs down.  
SPECIAL ABILITIES:  
[Low-Light Vision](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/glossary.html#_low-light-vision), [Scent](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/glossary.html#_scent), [Link](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/druid.html#_companions-link), [Share Spells](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/druid.html#_companions-share-spells)

NATURE SENSE [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
A druid is more knowledgeable about nature and better able to survive in the wilderness.

WILD EMPATHY [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
A druid can communicate wordlessly with an animal, in the hope of making it more friendly towards the druid and her allies. A wolf shaman is particularly good at communicating with canines.

[WOODLAND STRIDE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/druid.html#_woodland-stride-druid) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
Starting at 2nd level, the druid may move through any sort of undergrowth (such as natural thorns, briars, overgrown areas, and similar terrain) at her normal speed.

[TOTEM TRANSFORMATION](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/druid.html#_wolf-shaman) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (2 MINUTES/DAY, STANDARD ACTION)  
At 2nd level, the wolf shaman may adopt an aspect of the wolf while retaining her normal form. She gains one of the following bonuses:  
>MOVEMENT (+20 enhancement bonus to land speed)  
>SENSES (low-light vision, +4 racial bonus to Survival when tracking by scent)  
>NATURAL WEAPONS (bite [1d4 plus trip], +2 CMB to trip)  
While using totem transformation, the wolf shaman may speak normally and can cast speak with animals (canines only) at will.

SPELLS  
[DRUID LEVEL 0](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/spell-lists-and-domains/spell-lists---druid#p0) [4 Prepared, At Will] Save DC 12  
+KNOW DIRECTION – You discern north.  
+MENDING – Makes minor repairs on an object.  
+SPARK – Ignites flammable objects. +STABILIZE – Cause a dying creature to stabilize.

[DRUID LEVEL 1](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/spell-lists-and-domains/spell-lists---druid#p1) [3/Day Prepared] Save DC 13  
+CURE LIGHT WOUNDS – Cures 1d8 damage +1/level (max +5).  
++MAGIC STONE – Three stones gain +1 on attack rolls, deal 1d6+1 damage. 

* * *

KARKAT VANTAS [FIGHTER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/fighter.html#_fighter) ([MOBILE FIGHTER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/fighter.html#_mobile-fighter)) 2  
TRUE NEUTRAL

TL:DR – Cool new armour, nasty slave collar. Better with sickles and harder to slow down.

[](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/bvqt5kfh4l6xmi7/Karkat%20Vantas.png?dl=0)

BASIC STATISTICS  
GENDER: Male  
HAIR/EYES: White hair, red eyes  
HOMELAND: City of Golgesi (The Shanties)  
DEITY: The Knight of Blood  
LANGUAGES: Undercommon, High Elven, Drow Sign Language  
RACE: Drow (Dark Elf)

ATTRIBUTES  
STRENGTH: 14[+2]  
DEXTERITY: 17[+3]  
CONSTITUTION: 11[+0]  
INTELLIGENCE: 12[+1]  
WISDOM: 8[-1]  
CHARISMA: 12[+1]

HIT POINTS: 15/15  
HERO POINTS: 4/5  
INITIATIVE: +3  
BASE SPEED/S: 30ft (land)

ARMOUR CLASS [AC]: 17  
TOUCH AC: 13  
FLAT-FOOTED AC: 14

BASE ATTACK BONUS [BAB]: +2  
BASIC MELEE ATTACK: +4  
BASIC RANGED ATTACK: +5  
COMBAT MANEUVER BONUS [CMB]: +4  
COMBAT MANEUVER DEFENCE [CMD]: 17

SAVES  
FORTITUDE: +3  
REFLEX: +3  
WILL: -1

[WEAPONS/ATTACKS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_weapon-descriptions)  
[DUAL SICKLES](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_sickle) – Two attacks a round at a reduced attack bonus, or one attack a round at normal attack bonus. This is a [trip](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/equipment.html#_trip) weapon.  
[DAGGER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_dagger) \- Can be thrown, range 10ft.

EQUIPMENT - [CARRYING CAPACITY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/additionalRules.html#_carrying-capacity) (STR 14)

EQUIPMENT - ITEM SLOTS  
CLOTHING: PERSONAL SLAVE'S OUTFIT  
This set of clothes consists of a sleeveless tunic and loose trousers, both made from expensive silken cloth. Comfortable sandals are provided as footwear.

ARMOUR: MASTERWORK MITHRAL CHAIN SHIRT  
+4 armour bonus, +6 max DEX bonus, -0 Armour Check Penalty, 10% Arcane Spell Failure Chance, LIGHT  
SPECIAL: An item made from mithral weighs half as much as the same item made from other metals. Masterwork armour has an Armour Check Penalty one lower than normal and can be enchanted.

NECK: PERSONAL SLAVE COLLAR  
This ornate collar is worked gold, set with a single gemstone carved with the sigil of the wearer's owner. It is magically attached to a pendant worn by the owner. When the wearer of the pendant places a Personal Slave Collar on a subject, the slave cannot remove the collar without the use of a _remove curse, limited wish, miracle_ or _wish_ spell. The wearer of the pendant can also remove a linked slave's collar at any time. Attempting to remove the collar in another fashion, such as through force, causes the collar to explode and do 6d6 points of force damage to the wearer and anyone nearby; any creature other than the wearer within 10 feet may make a Reflex save for half damage. The owner and anyone they specifically instruct do not trigger this effect.

The owner is aware of any wearer of a Personal Slave Collar like a constant _status spell (awareness of relative positions and general condition). Additionally, all wearers of linked collars count as familiar to their owner for purposes of spells such as _scrying_ and _teleport.__

By uttering a particular command word (usually known only to the owner and a few trusted individuals), the collar can be caused to send wracking pain through the wearer's body. The pain causes a -2 penalty to AC, attacks, melee damage rolls, and Reflex saving throws; characters must succeed as a DC 16 concentration check to cast spells. If, however, the wearer spends a move action screaming as loudly as possible they can act without any other penalties for the remainder of their turn. Creatures that cannot scream must suffer the full effect of the spell.

EQUIPMENT - POSSESSIONS  
Sickle [x2] 4lbs, Masterwork Mithral Chain Shirt 12.5lbs, Dagger 1lb, Waterskin 4lbs

>BACKPACK, COMMON 2lbs (Capacity 60lbs)  
Blanket (Common) 1lb, Rations (Trail) [x18] 18lb, Pesh Dose [x1], Compass 0.5lbs, Map [+1 circumstance bonus on Knowledge Dungeoneering checks made to navigate to the surface from Golgesi] 2lbs

>POUCH, BELT 0.5lbs (Capacity 10lbs)  
Flint and Steel, Charcoal Stick [x2], Whetstone 1lb

TOTAL 47.5lbs (19lbs without backpack)

EQUIPMENT - MONEY  
0CP, 0SP, 0GP, 0PP  
OTHER:

SKILLS  
TRAINED  
ACROBATICS +5(2)*, +CLIMB +6(1)*, +INTIMIDATE +5(1), KNOWLEDGE(LOCAL) +1(1), PERCEPTION +2(1), SENSE MOTIVE +1(2)

UNTRAINED  
APPRAISE +0, BLUFF +1, +CRAFT +0, DIPLOMACY +1, DISGUISE +1, ESCAPE ARTIST +3*, HEAL -1, PERFORM +1, +RIDE +3*, STEALTH +3*, +SURVIVAL -1, +SWIM +2*  
(FLY +3*)

*Armour Check Penalty: Skill at –0 due to armour worn.  
+Class Skill

FEATS  
[COMBAT REFLEXES](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_combat-reflexes)  
The character can make additional attacks of opportunity.

[RACIAL ABILITIES: DROW](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advancedRaceGuide/featuredRaces/drow.html#_drow-racial-traits)  
[DANCING LIGHTS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/dancingLights.html#_dancing-lights) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Drow can create up to four illusory lights and direct their motion.  
[DARKNESS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/darkness.html#_darkness) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Drow can touch an object and cause it to radiate a deep darkness that dims even magical light.  
[FAERIE FIRE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/faerieFire.html#_faerie-fire) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Drow can cause a person to glow with a pale fire that clings to them even if they are not otherwise visible.  
LANGUAGES - Drow begin play speaking Undercommon and High Elven. Drow with high Intelligence can choose bonus languages from the following: Common, Dark Folk, Draconic, Drow Sign Language, Dwarven, Gnome, Goblin or Infernal.

SPECIAL ABILITIES  
GODMARKED  
LEVEL 1:  
[HERO’S FORTUNE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/advancedNewRules.html#_hero's-fortune) \- Even at the start of his career, it was clear that the character had a chance at greatness, and his legend continues to grow with every adventure.  
[INSPIRING COMMAND](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/cleric.html#_inspiring-command) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] – The character can issue an inspiring command to his allies, improving their accuracy, defence, and focus for a short time.

CLASS FEATURES  
WEAPON AND ARMOUR PROFICIENCY: FIGHTER  
A fighter is proficient with all simple and martial weapons and with all armour (heavy, light, and medium) and shields (including tower shields).

FEAT: [TWO-WEAPON FIGHTING [REQUIRES: DEX 15]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_two-weapon-fighting)  
The fighter can fight with a weapon wielded in each of his hands. He can make one extra attack each round with the secondary weapon.

FEAT: [WEAPON FOCUS (SICKLE) [REQUIRES: WEAPON PROFICIENCY, BAB +1]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_weapon-focus)  
The fighter gains a bonus on all attack rolls he makes using the selected weapon.

[AGILITY (+1)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/fighter.html#_agility) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
At 2nd level, the mobile fighter gains a bonus on saving throws made against effects that cause him to become paralysed, slowed, or entangled.

* * *

GAMZEE MAKARA [BARBARIAN](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/barbarian.html#_barbarian) 2  
CHAOTIC NEUTRAL

TL:DR – Can now freak people the fuck out while raging. Is now impossible to ambush.

[](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/6uxhg80eys1mczy/Gamzee%20Makara.png?dl=0)

BASIC STATISTICS  
GENDER: Male  
HAIR/EYES: White hair, purple eyes  
HOMELAND: City of Golgesi (House Kutsanmis Enclave)  
DEITY: The Bard of Rage  
LANGUAGES: Undercommon, High Elven  
RACE: Drow (Dark Elf)

ATTRIBUTES  
STRENGTH: 14[+2] (18[+4])  
WITHDRAWAL: 12(16): -1 to all STR  
DEXTERITY: 15[+2]  
PESH HIGH: 11: -2 to all DEX  
CONSTITUTION: 13[+1] (17[+3])  
WITHDRAWAL: 11(15): -1 to all CON  
INTELLIGENCE: 8[-1]  
WISDOM: 12[+1]  
PESH HIGH: 8: -2 to all WIS  
CHARISMA: 12[+1]

HIT POINTS: 21(25)/21(25) [+15 PESH HIGH- FIRST HOUR ONLY]  
HERO POINTS: 2/3  
INITIATIVE: +2  
BASE SPEED/S: 40ft (land)

ARMOUR CLASS [AC]: 15(13)  
TOUCH AC: 12(10)  
FLAT-FOOTED AC: 13(11)

BASE ATTACK BONUS [BAB]: +2  
BASIC MELEE ATTACK: +4(6)  
BASIC RANGED ATTACK: +4  
COMBAT MANEUVER BONUS [CMB]: +4(6)  
COMBAT MANEUVER DEFENCE [CMD]: 16(18)

SAVES  
FORTITUDE: +3(5) CURRENT PESH ADDICTION DC: 20  
REFLEX: +2  
WILL: +3(5) PESH HIGH: +2 morale bonus versus fear effects.

[WEAPONS/ATTACKS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_weapon-descriptions)  
[IMPROVISED WEAPONS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/equipment.html#_improvised-weapons) – Attack as per basic ranged or melee attack, and damage as per closest match on the weapon list. There is a +1 circumstance bonus to attack rolls for improvised splash weapons.  
[CROSSBOW, LIGHT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_light-crossbow) – 10 ammunition

EQUIPMENT - [CARRYING CAPACITY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/additionalRules.html#_carrying-capacity) (STR 14/18)

EQUIPMENT - ITEM SLOTS  
CLOTHING: NOBLE'S OUTFIT  
These clothes are designed specifically to be expensive and gaudy. Precious metals and gems are worked into the clothing. A would-be noble also needs a signet ring and jewellery to accessorise this outfit.

ARMOUR: HOUSE KUTSANMIS PARADE ARMOUR  
+3 armour bonus, +5 max DEX bonus, -1 Armour Check Penalty, 15% Arcane Spell Failure Chance, LIGHT  
SPECIAL: A character wearing a country's parade armour gains a +2 Circumstance bonus to Diplomacy and Intimidate checks to influence a person from that country.

EQUIPMENT - POSSESSIONS  
Crossbow (Light) 4lbs, Bolts (Crossbow) [x10] 1lb, Parade Armour 20lbs

>BACKPACK, COMMON 2lbs (Capacity 60lbs)  
Blanket, Common 1lb, Pesh Dose [x12], Harlot Sweets [x3], Shiver [x1], Opium [x1], Potion of Lesser Restoration [x1], Potion of Cure Light Wounds [x4], Wound Paste [x5] 0.5lbs

TOTAL 28.5lbs (25lbs without backpack)

EQUIPMENT - MONEY  
0CP, 8SP, 1GP, 0PP  
OTHER:  
[PESH COSTS 20GP/DOSE]

SKILLS  
TRAINED  
+CRAFT(COOKING) +3(1), +INTIMIDATE +6(2), PERFORM(CHILL RHYMES) +2(1), STEALTH +4(2)*

UNTRAINED  
+ACROBATICS +2*, APPRAISE -1, BLUFF +1, +CLIMB +2*, +CRAFT +0, DIPLOMACY +1, DISGUISE +1, ESCAPE ARTIST +2*, HEAL +1, +PERCEPTION +1, PERFORM +1, +RIDE +2*, SENSE MOTIVE +1, +SURVIVAL +1, +SWIM +2*  
(FLY +2*)

*Armour Check Penalty: Skill at –1 due to armour worn  
+Class Skill

FEATS  
[THROW ANYTHING](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_throw-anything)  
The character is used to throwing things he has on hand.

[RACIAL ABILITIES: DROW](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advancedRaceGuide/featuredRaces/drow.html#_drow-racial-traits)  
[DANCING LIGHTS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/dancingLights.html#_dancing-lights) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Drow can create up to four illusory lights and direct their motion.  
[DARKNESS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/darkness.html#_darkness) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Drow can touch an object and cause it to radiate a deep darkness that dims even magical light.  
[FAERIE FIRE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/faerieFire.html#_faerie-fire) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Drow can cause a person to glow with a pale fire that clings to them even if they are not otherwise visible.  
LANGUAGES - Drow begin play speaking Undercommon and High Elven. Drow with high Intelligence can choose bonus languages from the following: Common, Dark Folk, Draconic, Drow Sign Language, Dwarven, Gnome, Goblin or Infernal.

SPECIAL ABILITIES  
[PESH ADDICTION](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/mastery/drugsAndAddiction.html#_drugs-and-addiction) – [ADVENTURER'S ARMOURY VERSION](www.d20pfsrd.com/equipment---final/goods-and-services/herbs-oils-other-substances)  
A Pesh high lasts for one day. For the first hour, the character is tougher, and for the full day he is braver, but he is also uncoordinated, unfocused, and mentally pliable. When the character comes down from this high, he suffers physical weakness and fragility. Curing the addiction without magical intervention is a long and difficult process, requiring good physical health and complete abstinence.

GODMARKED  
LEVEL 1:  
CATCH OFF-GUARD: Foes are surprised by the character’s skilled use of unorthodox and improvised weapons.  
[DESTRUCTIVE SMITE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/cleric.html#_destruction-domain) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (4 USES/DAY)– The character can do more damage on a single melee attack, dependent on his character level.

CLASS FEATURES  
WEAPON AND ARMOUR PROFICIENCY: BARBARIAN  
A barbarian is proficient with all simple and martial weapons, light armour, medium armour and shields (except tower shields).

FAST MOVEMENT [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
A barbarian can move faster than other members of his race, so long as he is not heavily burdened.

[RAGE](paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/barbarian.html#_rage) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY] (7 ROUNDS/DAY)  
A barbarian can call on inner reserves of strength and ferocity, granting him additional combat prowess for a while but exhausting him when spent.

RAGE POWERS  
[INTIMIDATING GLARE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/barbarian.html#_rage-powers-intimidating-glare) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
While raging, the barbarian can make an Intimidate check against one adjacent foe and attempt to leave them shaken.

[UNCANNY DODGE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/barbarian.html#_uncanny-dodge-barbarian) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
At 2nd level, the barbarian gains the ability to react to danger before his senses would normally allow him to do so.

* * *

TEREZI PYROPE [INQUISITOR](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/baseClasses/inquisitor.html) 2  
LAWFUL NEUTRAL

TL:DR – Faster off the mark when trouble starts, better at tracking suspects and can now tell alignment (ie: read your basic nature) at a glance.

[ ](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/2umrh3lzr4tav35/Terezi%20Pyrope.png?dl=0)

BASIC STATISTICS  
GENDER: Female  
HAIR/EYES: White hair, teal eyes  
HOMELAND: City of Golgesi (Temple Spire)  
DEITY: The Seer of Mind  
LANGUAGES: Undercommon, High Elven, Infernal  
RACE: Drow (Dark Elf)

ATTRIBUTES  
STRENGTH: 10[+0]  
DEXTERITY: 15[+2]  
CONSTITUTION: 12[+1]  
INTELLIGENCE: 12[+1]  
WISDOM: 15[+2]  
CHARISMA: 10[+0]

HIT POINTS: 15/15  
HERO POINTS: 3/5  
INITIATIVE: +4  
BASE SPEED/S: 30ft (land)

ARMOUR CLASS [AC]: 15  
TOUCH AC: 12  
FLAT-FOOTED AC: 13

BASE ATTACK BONUS [BAB]: +1  
BASIC MELEE ATTACK: +1  
BASIC RANGED ATTACK: +3  
COMBAT MANEUVER BONUS [CMB]: +1  
COMBAT MANEUVER DEFENCE [CMD]: 13

SAVES  
FORTITUDE: +4  
REFLEX: +2  
WILL: +5

[WEAPONS/ATTACKS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_weapon-descriptions)  
INCORRUPTIBLE ([SILVERSHEEN](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/equipment---final/special-materials#TOC-Silversheen) [SWORD CANE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/advancedGear.html#_sword-cane)) - A more accurate but less damaging weapon, all but immune to rusting away. [SWORD CANE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/advancedGear.html#_sword-cane) \- The blade is well-concealed in the cane.  
[CROSSBOW, LIGHT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_light-crossbow) – 20 ammunition  
[DAGGER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_dagger) \- Can be thrown, range 10ft.

EQUIPMENT - [CARRYING CAPACITY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/additionalRules.html#_carrying-capacity) (STR 10)

EQUIPMENT - ITEM SLOTS  
CLOTHING: EXPLORER'S OUTFIT  
This set of clothes is for someone who never knows what to expect. It includes sturdy boots, leather breeches, a belt, a shirt, gloves and a cloak. The clothes have plenty of pockets (especially the cloak). The outfit also includes any extra accessories the character might need, such as a scarf or a wide-brimmed hat.

ARMOUR: GOLGESI LAWKEEPER PARADE ARMOUR  
+3 armour bonus, +5 max DEX bonus, -1 Armour Check Penalty, 15% Arcane Spell Failure Chance, LIGHT  
SPECIAL: A character wearing a country's parade armour gains a +2 Circumstance bonus to Diplomacy and Intimidate checks to influence a person from that country.

EQUIPMENT - POSSESSIONS  
Incorruptible (Silversheen Sword Cane) 4lbs, Crossbow (Light) 4lbs, Bolts (Crossbow) [x20] 2lb, Parade Armour 20lbs, Eyeglasses, Holy Symbol (Copper) 0.5lb, Dagger 1lb

>BACKPACK, COMMON 2lbs (Capacity 60lbs)  
Rope (Hemp) [50ft] 10lbs, Karkat's Tattered Journal 3lbs, Sword Cane 4lbs, Manacles 2lbs 

>POUCH, BELT 0.5lbs (Capacity 10lbs)  
Flint and Steel, Whetstone 1lb, Bandages of Rapid Recovery 1lb

TOTAL 53.5lbs (32lbs without backpack)

EQUIPMENT - MONEY  
8CP, 9SP, 3GP, 0PP  
OTHER:

SKILLS  
TRAINED  
+BLUFF +5(2), +DIPLOMACY +5(2), +INTIMIDATE +6(2), +KNOWLEDGE DUNGEONEERING +5(1), +KNOWLEDGE LOCAL +5(1), +KNOWLEDGE RELIGION +6(2), +PERCEPTION +7(2), +PROFESSION(GOLGESI LAWKEEPER) +6(1), +SENSE MOTIVE +8(2)

UNTRAINED  
ACROBATICS +2*, APPRAISE +1, +CLIMB +0*, +CRAFT +1, +DISGUISE +0, ESCAPE ARTIST +2*, +HEAL +2, PERFORM +0, +RIDE +2*, STEALTH +2*, SURVIVAL +2, SWIM +0*  
(FLY +2*)

*Armour Check Penalty: Skill at –1 due to armour worn.  
+Class Skill

FEATS  
[BLIND-FIGHT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_blind-fight%0A)  
The character is skilled at attacking opponents that she cannot clearly perceive.

[RACIAL ABILITIES: DROW](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advancedRaceGuide/featuredRaces/drow.html#_drow-racial-traits)  
[DANCING LIGHTS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/dancingLights.html#_dancing-lights) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Drow can create up to four illusory lights and direct their motion.  
[DARKNESS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/darkness.html#_darkness) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Drow can touch an object and cause it to radiate a deep darkness that dims even magical light.  
[FAERIE FIRE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/faerieFire.html#_faerie-fire) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Drow can cause a person to glow with a pale fire that clings to them even if they are not otherwise visible.  
LANGUAGES - Drow begin play speaking Undercommon and High Elven. Drow with high Intelligence can choose bonus languages from the following: Common, Dark Folk, Draconic, Drow Sign Language, Dwarven, Gnome, Goblin or Infernal.

SPECIAL ABILITIES  
GODMARKED  
LEVEL 1:  
[HERO’S FORTUNE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/advancedNewRules.html#_hero's-fortune) \- Even at the start of her career, it was clear that the character had a chance at greatness, and her legend continues to grow with every adventure.  
[LORE KEEPER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/cleric.html#_knowledge-domain) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] – The character can touch a creature to learn about its abilities and weaknesses.  
EXTRA – The character treats all Knowledge skills as class skills.

CLASS FEATURES  
WEAPON AND ARMOUR PROFICIENCY: INQUISITOR  
An inquisitor is proficient with all simple weapons, plus the hand crossbow, longbow, repeating crossbow, shortbow, and the favoured weapon of her deity (THE SEER OF MIND favours the SWORD CANE). She is also proficient with light armour, medium armour, and shields (except tower shields).

DOMAIN: [INQUISITION (Justice)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spellcastingClassOptions/inquisitor.html#_justice-inquisition)  
JUDICIOUS FORCE [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (2 USES/DAY)  
The inquisitor or an ally next to her has a better chance of doing a massively damaging strike to their foe.

[JUDGEMENT](paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/baseClasses/inquisitor.html#_judgment) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY)  
The inquisitor can gain one of several abilities for a combat, so long as she is able to participate in the action. She can also switch which ability she is using partway through.

MONSTER LORE [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
The inquisitor is skilled at identifying the abilities and weaknesses of creatures.

STERN GAZE [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
Inquisitors are skilled at sensing deception and intimidating their foes.

[DETECT ALIGNMENT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/baseClasses/inquisitor.html#_detect-alignment) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY]  
At will, the inquisitor can use _detect chaos, detect evil, detect good_ or _detect law._ She can only use one of these at any given time.

[TRACK](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/baseClasses/inquisitor.html#_track) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
At 2nd level, the inquisitor adds half her level on Survival skill checks made to follow or identify tracks.

SPELLS  
LEVEL 0 [At Will] Save DC 12  
[BRAND](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/spells/brand.html#_brand), [DETECT MAGIC](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/detectMagic.html#_detect-magic), [DETECT POISON](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/detectPoison.html#_detect-poison), [SIFT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/spells/sift.html#_sift), [STABILIZE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/stabilize.html#_stabilize)

LEVEL 1 [3/Day] Save DC 13  
[COMPREHEND LANGUAGES](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/comprehendLanguages.html#_comprehend-languages), [DIVINE FAVOUR](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/divineFavor.html#_divine-favor), [PERSUASIVE GOAD](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spells/persuasiveGoad.html#_persuasive-goad)

* * *

SOLLUX CAPTOR [SORCERER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/sorcerer.html#_sorcerer) \- [ARCANE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/sorcerer.html#_arcane) ([SAGE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spellcastingClassOptions/sorcerer.html#_sage))/[DESTINED](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/sorcerer.html#_destined) ([KARMIC](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spellcastingClassOptions/sorcerer.html#_karmic)) ([CROSSBLOODED](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spellcastingClassOptions/sorcerer.html#_crossblooded-\(archetype\)) [WORDCASTER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/ultimateMagicWordsOfPower.html)) 2  
CHAOTIC NEUTRAL

TL:DR – Learned another magical power and got some magic gauntlets that protect him. Slightly.

[ ](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/84k7twll53thvqy/Sollux%20Captor.png?dl=0)

BASIC STATISTICS  
GENDER: Male  
HAIR/EYES: White hair, one red and one blue eye  
HOMELAND: The Greenweald Forest Region (No Fixed Abode)  
DEITY: The Mage of Doom  
LANGUAGES: Common, High Elven, Orc, Infernal, Undercommon  
RACE: Halfbreed (Drow/Tiefling)

ATTRIBUTES  
STRENGTH: 12[+1]  
DEXTERITY: 14[+2]  
CONSTITUTION: 13[+1]  
INTELLIGENCE: 17[+3]  
WISDOM: 8[-1]  
CHARISMA: 10[+0]

HIT POINTS: 13/13  
HERO POINTS: 2/3  
INITIATIVE: +2  
BASE SPEED/S: 30ft (land)

ARMOUR CLASS [AC]: 13  
TOUCH AC: 12  
FLAT-FOOTED AC: 11

BASE ATTACK BONUS [BAB]: +1  
BASIC MELEE ATTACK: +2  
BASIC RANGED ATTACK: +3  
COMBAT MANEUVER BONUS [CMB]: +2  
COMBAT MANEUVER DEFENCE [CMD]: 14

SAVES  
FORTITUDE: +1  
REFLEX: +2  
WILL: +2

[WEAPONS/ATTACKS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_weapon-descriptions)  
[SHURIKEN](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_shuriken) \- 5 Ammunition

EQUIPMENT - [CARRYING CAPACITY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/additionalRules.html#_carrying-capacity) (STR 13)

EQUIPMENT - ITEM SLOTS  
CLOTHING: EXPLORER'S OUTFIT  
This set of clothes is for someone who never knows what to expect. It includes sturdy boots, leather breeches, a belt, a shirt with a jacket, gloves and a cloak. The clothes have plenty of pockets (especially the cloak). The outfit also includes any extra accessories the character might need, such as a scarf or a wide-brimmed hat.

WRISTS: [BRACERS OF ARMOUR +1](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/magicItems/wondrousItems.html#_bracers-of-armor)  
These items appear to be wrist or arm guards. They surround the wearer with an invisible but tangible field of force, granting him an armour bonus of +1, just as though he were wearing armour. Both bracers must be worn for the magic to be effective.

EQUIPMENT - POSSESSIONS  
Shuriken [x5] 0.5lb, Bracers of Armour +1 1lb, Eyeglasses

>BACKPACK, MASTERWORK 4lbs (Capacity 60lbs, +1 STR to carry loads)  
Tent (Medium, 2 people) 30lbs, Bedroll [x2] 10lbs

TOTAL 45.5lbs (1.5lbs without backpack)

EQUIPMENT - MONEY  
0CP, 8SP, 13GP, 0PP  
OTHER:

SKILLS  
TRAINED  
APPRAISE +5(2), +KNOWLEDGE ARCANA +10(2), +KNOWLEDGE DUNGEONEERING +7(1), +KNOWLEDGE HISTORY +7(1), +SPELLCRAFT +10(2), +USE MAGIC DEVICE +6(2)

UNTRAINED  
+ACROBATICS +2*, +BLUFF -1, CLIMB +1*, +CRAFT +3, DIPLOMACY +0, DISGUISE +0, ESCAPE ARTIST +2*, HEAL -1, +INTIMIDATE +0, PERCEPTION -1, PERFORM +0, RIDE +2*, SENSE MOTIVE +0, STEALTH +0*, SURVIVAL -1, SWIM +1*  
(+FLY +2*)

*Armour Check Penalty: Skill at –0 due to armour worn.  
+Class Skill

FEATS  
EXTRA WORD [CASTER LEVEL 1ST IN BARD, ORACLE OR SORCERER]   
The character has uncovered a new word of power.

[RACIAL ABILITIES: HALF-ELF](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advancedRaceGuide/coreRaces/halfElves.html#_half-elf-racial-traits) ([ALTERNATE RACIAL TRAITS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advancedRaceGuide/coreRaces/halfElves.html#_alternate-racial-traits))  
ATTRIBUTE SHIFT - +2 Intelligence.  
DROW-BLOODED – Replaces Low-Light Vision.  
ELVEN IMMUNITIES.  
MIXED BLOOD – The character counts as both Drow and Tiefling for any effect related to race. Replaces Elf Blood.  
WARY – Replaces Keen Senses.  
DUAL MINDED – Replaces Adaptability.  
ARCANE TRAINING – Replaces Multitalented.  
LANGUAGES – Halfbreeds begin play speaking Common and High Elven. Halfbreeds with high Intelligence scores can choose any language as a bonus language (except secret languages, such as Druidic).

SPECIAL ABILITIES  
GODMARKED  
LEVEL 1:  
WEAPON PROFICIENCY (SHURIKEN)  
[ARCANE BEACON](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/cleric.html#_arcane-beacon) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (3 USES/DAY) – The character can emanate an aura that makes spells cast near him more powerful and harder to resist.

CLASS FEATURES  
WEAPON AND ARMOUR PROFICIENCY: SORCERER  
Sorcerers are proficient with all simple weapons. They are not proficient with any type of armour or shield. Armour interferes with a sorcerer's gestures, which can cause his spells with somatic components to fail.

FEAT: [ESCHEW MATERIALS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_eschew-materials)  
The character can cast many spells without needing to utilize minor material components.

BLOODLINE: [CROSSBLOODED](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spellcastingClassOptions/sorcerer.html#_crossblooded-%28archetype%29) [SAGE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spellcastingClassOptions/sorcerer.html#_sage)/[KARMIC](paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spellcastingClassOptions/sorcerer.html#_karmic)  
CLASS SKILL: Knowledge (Any One: Dungeoneering) and Knowledge History.  
BLOODLINE ARCANA: Unlike most sorcerers, the character understands and masters his magic through intellect rather than force of personality, and has a better understanding of arcane forces as a result. Additionally, if he fails to cast when under threat, the creature that disrupted his concentration is left vulnerable to attack.  
DRAWBACK: A crossblooded sorcerer has one fewer spell known at each level, and is weaker willed.  
BLOODLINE POWERS:  
1\. ARCANE BOLT [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (6 USES/DAY): The sorcerer can unleash a ray of magical force as an attack, increasing in power dependant on the sorcerer's class level.

SPELLS: [WORDS OF POWER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/ultimateMagicWordsOfPower.html#_words-of-power)  


LEVEL 0 [At Will] Save DC 13  
One Effect Word Only (Level 0)

LEVEL 1 [5/Day] Save DC 14  
One Effect Word Only (Level 1 or lower)

[EFFECT WORDS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/wordsOfPower/effectWords.html)   
[FLAME JET (Fire 0)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/wordsOfPower/effectWords/fireWords.html#_flame-jet-%28fire%29), [LIFT (Gravity 0)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/wordsOfPower/effectWords/gravityWords.html#_lift-%28gravity%29), [FORCE BLOCK (Armor 0)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/wordsOfPower/effectWords/armorWords.html#_force-block-%28armor%29)  
[BURNING FLASH (Fire 1)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/wordsOfPower/effectWords/fireWords.html#_burning-flash-%28fire%29), [GLIDE (Flight 1)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/spells/glide.html#_glide-)

[TARGET WORDS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/wordsOfPower/targetWords.html)   
CONE (Target 0), PERSONAL (Target 0), SELECTED (Target 0)  
BURST (Target 1), LINE (Target 1)  
BARRIER (Target 3)

[META WORDS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/wordsOfPower/metaWords.html)   
(NOTE: META WORDS CAN ONLY BE USED ½ WORDCASTER LEVEL TIMES PER DAY)  
BOOST (Meta 0), DISTANT (Meta 0)

* * *

ARADIA MEGIDO [SORCERER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/sorcerer.html#_sorcerer) \- [DREAMSPUN](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/sorcerer.html#_dreamspun) 2  
TRUE NEUTRAL

TL:DR – Another basic spell. Not much change overall.

[ ](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/84k7twll53thvqy/Sollux%20Captor.png?dl=0)

BASIC STATISTICS  
GENDER: Female  
HAIR/EYES: Black hair, red eyes  
HOMELAND: The Greenweald Forest Region (No Fixed Abode)  
DEITY: The Maid of Time  
LANGUAGES: Common, Infernal, Orc, High Elven  
RACE: Tiefling

ATTRIBUTES  
STRENGTH: 8[-1]  
DEXTERITY: 12[+1]  
CONSTITUTION: 12[+1]  
INTELLIGENCE: 15[+2]  
WISDOM: 14[+2]  
CHARISMA: 13[+1] (15[+2])

HIT POINTS: 11/11  
HERO POINTS: 2/3  
INITIATIVE: +1  
BASE SPEED/S: 30ft (land)

ARMOUR CLASS [AC]: 11  
TOUCH AC: 11  
FLAT-FOOTED AC: 10

BASE ATTACK BONUS [BAB]: +1  
BASIC MELEE ATTACK: +0  
BASIC RANGED ATTACK: +2  
COMBAT MANEUVER BONUS [CMB]: +0  
COMBAT MANEUVER DEFENCE [CMD]: 11

SAVES  
FORTITUDE: +1  
REFLEX: +1  
WILL: +5

[WEAPONS/ATTACKS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_weapon-descriptions)  
[WHIP](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_whip) \- This is a [nonlethal](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/equipment.html#_nonlethal), [reach](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/equipment.html#_reach-weapons), [disarm](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/equipment.html#_disarm), [trip](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/equipment.html#_trip) weapon. A whip deals no damage to any creature with an armour bonus of +1 or higher, or a natural armour bonus of +3 or higher. Using a whip provokes an attack of opportunity, just as if the character had used a ranged weapon.

EQUIPMENT - [CARRYING CAPACITY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/additionalRules.html#_carrying-capacity) (STR 8)

EQUIPMENT - ITEM SLOTS  
CLOTHING: EXPLORER'S OUTFIT  
This set of clothes is for someone who never knows what to expect. It includes sturdy boots, leather skirt, a belt, a shirt with a vest, gloves and a cloak. The clothes have plenty of pockets (especially the cloak). The outfit also includes any extra accessories the character might need, such as a scarf or a wide-brimmed hat.

EQUIPMENT - POSSESSIONS  
Whip 2lbs, Waterskin 4lbs

>POUCH, BELT 0.5lbs (Capacity 10lbs)  
Rope (Silk) [50ft] 5lbs, String/Twine [50ft] 0.5lbs, Sewing Needle, Compass 0.5lbs, Kit (Map Making) [Anyone using this kit to draw a map as they travel receives a +2 circumstance bonus on Survival skill checks to avoid becoming lost] 2lbs, Wayfinder 1lb, Bird Feather Token [x1], Swan Boat Feather Token [x1]

>POUCH, BELT 0.5lbs (Capacity 10lbs)  
Kit (Cooking) 2lbs  
Rations (Wandermeal) [x14] [Eating this tough, dried cake for over a week without other nutrients causes the eater to feel ill] 7lbs

TOTAL 25lbs

EQUIPMENT - MONEY  
3CP, 3SP, 39GP, 0PP  
OTHER:

SKILLS  
TRAINED  
+ACROBATICS +5(1)*, CLIMB +0(1)*, KNOWLEDGE DUNGEONEERING +4(2), KNOWLEDGE HISTORY +4(2), SURVIVAL +3(1), SWIM +0(1)*, +USE MAGIC DEVICE +6(2)

UNTRAINED  
APPRAISE +2, +BLUFF +1, +CRAFT +2, DIPLOMACY +1, DISGUISE +1, ESCAPE ARTIST +1*, HEAL +2, +INTIMIDATE +1, PERCEPTION +2, PERFORM +1, RIDE +1*, +SENSE MOTIVE +2, STEALTH +1*  
(+FLY +1*)

*Armour Check Penalty: Skill at –0 due to armour worn.  
+Class Skill

FEATS  
[COMBAT CASTING](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_combat-casting)  
The character is adept at spellcasting when threatened or distracted.

[RACIAL ABILITIES: TIEFLING](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advancedRaceGuide/featuredRaces/tieflings.html#_tiefling-racial-traits)  
TIEFLINGS DO NOT COUNT AS OUTSIDERS FOR THE PURPOSE OF THIS SETTING.  
SORCEROUS GIFT - Tiefling sorcerers treat their Charisma score as 2 points higher for all sorcerer class abilities.  
[DARKNESS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/darkness.html#_darkness) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Tieflings can touch an object and cause it to radiate a deep darkness that dims even magical light.  
LANGUAGES - Tieflings begin play speaking Common and either Abyssal or Infernal. Tieflings with high Intelligence scores can choose any of the following bonus languages: Abyssal, Draconic, Dwarven, High Elven, Gnome, Goblin, Halfling, Infernal, and Orc.

SPECIAL ABILITIES  
GODMARKED  
LEVEL 1:  
WEAPON PROFICIENCY (WHIP)  
[BINDING TIES](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/cleric.html#_binding-ties) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (4 USES/DAY) – The character can temporarily take the suffering as an ally onto herself, rendering them temporarily immune to the condition for a short time dependent on her character level.

CLASS FEATURES  
WEAPON AND ARMOUR PROFICIENCY: SORCERER  
Sorcerers are proficient with all simple weapons. They are not proficient with any type of armour or shield. Armour interferes with a sorcerer's gestures, which can cause her spells with somatic components to fail.

FEAT: [ESCHEW MATERIALS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_eschew-materials)  
The character can cast many spells without needing to utilize minor material components.

BLOODLINE: [DREAMSPUN](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/sorcerer.html#_dreamspun)  
CLASS SKILL: Sense Motive.  
BLOODLINE ARCANA: Whenever the character targets a single creature with a spell, she is briefly better protected against attacks made by that foe.  
BLOODLINE POWERS:  
1\. LULLABY [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (5 USES/DAY): The character can make another creature drowsy, rendering them less perceptive and more susceptible to sleep magic.

SPELLS  
LEVEL 0 [At Will] Save DC 12  
[DETECT MAGIC](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/detectMagic.html#_detect-magic), [MAGE HAND](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/mageHand.html#_mage-hand), [MESSAGE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/message.html#_message), [PRESTIDIGITATION](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/prestidigitation.html#_prestidigitation), [RAY OF FROST](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/rayOfFrost.html#_ray-of-frost)

LEVEL 1 [5/Day] Save DC 13  
[UNSEEN SERVANT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/unseenServant.html#_unseen-servant), [SLEEP](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/sleep.html#_sleep)

* * *

KANAYA MARYAM [CLERIC](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/cleric.html#_cleric) 2  
TRUE NEUTRAL

TL:DR – New cloak, not much else.

[](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/08069btcqrm4oee/Kanaya%20Maryam.png?dl=0)

BASIC STATISTICS  
GENDER: Female  
HAIR/EYES: White hair, green eyes  
HOMELAND: City of Golgesi (Temple Spire)/The Greenweald Forest Region (No Fixed Abode)  
DEITY: The Sylph of Space  
LANGUAGES: Undercommon, High Elven  
RACE: Drow (Dark Elf)

ATTRIBUTES  
STRENGTH: 13[+1]  
DEXTERITY: 10[+0]  
CONSTITUTION: 12[+1]  
INTELLIGENCE: 10[+0]  
WISDOM: 15[+2]  
CHARISMA: 14[+2]

HIT POINTS: 14/14  
HERO POINTS: 2/5  
INITIATIVE: +0  
BASE SPEED/S: 30ft (land)

ARMOUR CLASS [AC]: 14  
TOUCH AC: 10  
FLAT-FOOTED AC: 14

BASE ATTACK BONUS [BAB]: +1  
BASIC MELEE ATTACK: +2  
BASIC RANGED ATTACK: +1  
COMBAT MANEUVER BONUS [CMB]: +2  
COMBAT MANEUVER DEFENCE [CMD]: 12

SAVES  
FORTITUDE: +5  
REFLEX: +1  
WILL: +6

[WEAPONS/ATTACKS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_weapon-descriptions)  
[SAWTOOTH SABRE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_sawtooth-sabre) \- This weapon counts as “light" for the purposes of two-weapon fighting.  
[SHIELD BASH, LIGHT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/equipment.html#_shield-bash-attacks) \- Treat as “light" for the purposes of two-weapon fighting, and lose shield bonus to AC when used as a weapon.  
[DAGGER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_dagger) \- Can be thrown, range 10ft.

EQUIPMENT - [CARRYING CAPACITY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/additionalRules.html#_carrying-capacity) (STR 13)

EQUIPMENT - ITEM SLOTS  
CLOTHING: EXPLORER'S OUTFIT  
This set of clothes is for someone who never knows what to expect. It includes sturdy boots, a leather overtunic over a cloth skirt, a belt, a shirt, gloves and a cloak. The clothes have plenty of pockets (especially the cloak). The outfit also includes any extra accessories the character might need, such as a scarf or a wide-brimmed hat.

ARMOUR: STUDDED LEATHER ARMOUR  
+3 armour bonus, +5 max DEX bonus, -1 Armour Check Penalty, 15% Arcane Spell Failure Chance, LIGHT

SHIELD: LIGHT WOODEN SHIELD  
+1 shield bonus, -1 Armour Check Penalty, 5% Arcane Spell Failure Chance  
SPECIAL: The character can bash an opponent with a light shield. Used this way, a light shield is a martial bludgeoning weapon. For the purpose of penalties on attack rolls, treat a shield as a light weapon. If she uses her shield as a weapon, she loses its AC bonus until her next turn.

SHOULDERS: [CLOAK OF RESISTANCE +1](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/magicItems/wondrousItems.html#_cloak-of-resistance)  
This garment offers magical protection in the form of a +1 resistance bonus on all saving throws.

EQUIPMENT - POSSESSIONS  
Sabre (Sawtooth) 2lbs, Studded Leather Armour 20lbs, Shield (Light Wooden) 5lbs, Cloak of Resistance +1 1lb, Eyeglasses, Holy Symbol (Wooden), Dagger 1lb, Waterskin 4lbs

>BACKPACK, COMMON 2lbs (Capacity 60lbs)  
Tent (Small, 1 person) 20lbs, Bedroll 5lbs, Kit (Healer's) [This collection of bandages and herbs provides a +2 circumstance bonus on Heal checks. A healer's kit is exhausted after 10 uses] 1lb

>POUCH, BELT 0.5lbs (Capacity 10lbs)  
Flint and Steel, Whetstone 1lb, String/Twine [50ft] 0.5lbs, Sewing Needle  
Rations (Wandermeal) [x7] [Eating this tough, dried cake for over a week without other nutrients causes the eater to feel ill] 3.5lbs

TOTAL 65.5lbs (37.5lbs without backpack)

EQUIPMENT - MONEY  
9CP, 2SP, 13GP, 0PP  
OTHER:

SKILLS  
TRAINED  
+CRAFT(APPAREL) +5(2), +DIPLOMACY +7(2), +HEAL +6(1), +KNOWLEDGE RELIGION +4(1)

UNTRAINED  
ACROBATICS +0*, +APPRAISE +0, BLUFF +2, CLIMB +1*, +CRAFT +0, DISGUISE +2, ESCAPE ARTIST +0*, INTIMIDATE +2, PERCEPTION +2, PERFORM +2, RIDE +0*, +SENSE MOTIVE +2, STEALTH +0*, SURVIVAL +2, SWIM +1*  
(FLY +0*)

*Armour Check Penalty: Skill at –2 due to armour worn.  
+Class Skill

FEATS  
[ SELECTIVE CHANNELING [REQUIRES: CHA 13, CHANNEL ENERGY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_selective-channeling) (CAN EXCLUDE: 2)  
The character can choose whom to affect when she channels energy.

[RACIAL ABILITIES: DROW](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advancedRaceGuide/featuredRaces/drow.html#_drow-racial-traits)  
[DANCING LIGHTS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/dancingLights.html#_dancing-lights) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Drow can create up to four illusory lights and direct their motion.  
[DARKNESS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/darkness.html#_darkness) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Drow can touch an object and cause it to radiate a deep darkness that dims even magical light.  
[FAERIE FIRE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/faerieFire.html#_faerie-fire) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Drow can cause a person to glow with a pale fire that clings to them even if they are not otherwise visible.  
LANGUAGES - Drow begin play speaking Undercommon and High Elven. Drow with high Intelligence can choose bonus languages from the following: Common, Dark Folk, Draconic, Drow Sign Language, Dwarven, Gnome, Goblin or Infernal.

SPECIAL ABILITIES  
GODMARKED  
LEVEL 1:  
[HERO’S FORTUNE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/advancedNewRules.html#_hero's-fortune) \- Even at the start of her career, it was clear that the character had a chance at greatness, and her legend continues to grow with every adventure.  
[RENEWED STRENGTH](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/classes/core-classes/cleric/domains/3rd-party-publishers---domains/4-winds-fantasy-gaming---domains/renewal-domain) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (5 USES/DAY) – The character can cure her allies of exhaustion, fatigue, sickness and nausea with a touch.

CLASS FEATURES  
WEAPON AND ARMOUR PROFICIENCY: CLERIC  
Clerics are proficient with all simple weapons, light armour, medium armour, and shields (except tower shields). Clerics are also proficient with the favoured weapon of their deities (THE SYLPH OF SPACE favours the SAWTOOTH SABRE).

[CHANNEL ENERGY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/cleric.html#_channel-energy-cleric) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (5 USES/DAY, DC12)  
The cleric can channel positive energy through her holy symbol, choosing to either deal damage to undead creatures or to heal living creatures in a burst of holy power.

SPONTANEOUS CASTING  
The cleric can channel stored spell energy into healing spells that she hasn't prepared ahead of time. She can "lose" any prepared spell that is not an orison or domain spell in order to cast any cure spell of the same spell level or lower.

DOMAINS: [CHARM](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/cleric.html#_charm-domain) ([LOVE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/cleric.html#_love-subdomain)) AND [DEATH](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/cleric.html#_death-domain) ([UNDEAD](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/cleric.html#_undead-subdomain))  
DOMAIN POWERS: ADORATION [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (5 USES/DAY) – The cleric can attempt to thwart a single physical attack against her person.  
DOMAIN POWERS: [DEATH'S KISS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/cleric.html#_death%27s-kiss) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (5 USES/DAY) – The cleric can cause a creature to take on some of the traits of the undead with a touch.

SPELLS  
[CLERIC LEVEL 0](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/spell-lists-and-domains/spell-lists---cleric#p0) [4 Prepared, At Will] Save DC 12  
+MENDING – Makes minor repairs on an object.  
+PURIFY FOOD AND DRINK – Purifies 1 cubic ft/level of food or water.  
+SPARK – Ignites flammable objects.  
+STABILIZE – Cause a dying creature to stabilize.

[CLERIC LEVEL 1](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/spell-lists-and-domains/spell-lists---cleric#p1) [3/Day+1 Prepared] Save DC 13  
DOMAIN SPELLS:  
CHARM PERSON – Makes one person your friend.  
+CAUSE FEAR – One creature of 5HD or less flees for 1d4 rounds.  
  
+ABUNDANT AMMUNITION – Replaces nonmagical ammunition every round.  
++BLESS – Allies gain +1 on attack rolls and saves against fear.

* * *

JANE CROCKER [RANGER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/ranger.html#_ranger) ([URBAN RANGER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/ranger.html#_urban-ranger)) 2  
LAWFUL GOOD

TL:DR – Improved her use of a shield.

[](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/4kodis325z81mra/Jane%20Crocker.png?dl=0)

BASIC STATISTICS  
GENDER: Female  
HAIR/EYES: Black hair, blue eyes  
HOMELAND: City of Porthaven (Outer Ring)  
DEITY: The Maid of Life  
LANGUAGES: Common, High Elven, Celestial, Orc  
RACE: Tuatha (High Elf)

ATTRIBUTES  
STRENGTH: 15[+2]  
DEXTERITY: 15[+2]  
CONSTITUTION: 12[+1]  
INTELLIGENCE: 10[+0]  
WISDOM: 12[+1]  
CHARISMA: 10[+0]

HIT POINTS: 18/18  
HERO POINTS: 3/5  
INITIATIVE: +2  
BASE SPEED/S: 30ft (land)

ARMOUR CLASS [AC]: 17  
TOUCH AC: 12  
FLAT-FOOTED AC: 15

BASE ATTACK BONUS [BAB]: +2  
BASIC MELEE ATTACK: +4  
BASIC RANGED ATTACK: +4  
COMBAT MANEUVER BONUS [CMB]: +4  
COMBAT MANEUVER DEFENCE [CMD]: 16

SAVES  
FORTITUDE: +4  
REFLEX: +5  
WILL: +1

[WEAPONS/ATTACKS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_weapon-descriptions)  
[TRIDENT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_trident) \- This is a [brace](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/equipment.html#_brace) weapon. Can be thrown, range 10ft.  
[SHIELD BASH, LIGHT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/equipment.html#_shield-bash-attacks) \- Treat as “light" for the purposes of two-weapon fighting, and lose shield bonus to AC when used as a weapon.  
[DAGGER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_dagger) \- Can be thrown, range 10ft.

EQUIPMENT - [CARRYING CAPACITY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/additionalRules.html#_carrying-capacity) (STR 16)

EQUIPMENT - ITEM SLOTS  
CLOTHING: ARTISAN'S OUTFIT  
This outfit consists of a blouse with buttons, drawstring skirt, shoes, and a neat cloth cap. It also includes a cloth apron for carrying small items such as a money pouch.

ARMOUR: MASTERWORK STUDDED LEATHER  
+3 armour bonus, +5 max DEX bonus, 0 Armour Check Penalty, 15% Arcane Spell Failure Chance, LIGHT  
SPECIAL: Masterwork armour has an Armour Check Penalty one lower than normal and can be enchanted.

SHIELD: LIGHT STEEL SHIELD  
+1 shield bonus, -1 Armour Check Penalty, 5% Arcane Spell Failure Chance  
SPECIAL: The character can bash an opponent with a light shield. Used this way, a light shield is a martial bludgeoning weapon. For the purpose of penalties on attack rolls, treat a shield as a light weapon. If she uses her shield as a weapon, she loses its AC bonus until her next turn.

EQUIPMENT - POSSESSIONS  
Trident 4lbs, Masterwork Studded Leather 20lbs, Shield (Light Steel) 6lbs, Dagger 1lb, Waterskin 4lbs

>BACKPACK, MASTERWORK 4lbs (Capacity 60lbs, +1 STR to carry loads)  
Bedroll 5lbs, Kit (Cooking) 2lbs, Rations (Trail) [x7] 7lb, Parade Armour 20lbs, Elixir of Truth [x1], Elixir of Vision [x1]

>POUCH, BELT 0.5lbs (Capacity 10lbs)  
Flint and Steel, Manacles 2lbs, Map [+1 circumstance bonus on Survival checks made to navigate in the Greenweald Forest region] 2lbs

TOTAL 77.5lbs (39.5lbs without backpack)

EQUIPMENT - MONEY  
0CP, 9SP, 75GP, 0PP  
OTHER:

SKILLS  
TRAINED  
ACROBATICS +4(2)*, +CRAFT(COOKING) +5(2), DISGUISE +1(1), +KNOWLEDGE LOCAL +5(2), +PERCEPTION +6(2), SENSE MOTIVE +5(1), +STEALTH +7(2)*, +SURVIVAL +5(1)

UNTRAINED  
+APPRAISE +0, BLUFF +0, +CLIMB +2*, CRAFT +0, +DIPLOMACY +0, ESCAPE ARTIST +2*, +HEAL +1, +INTIMIDATE +0, PERFORM +0, +RIDE +2*, +SWIM +2*  
(FLY +2*)

*Armour Check Penalty: Skill at –0 due to armour worn.  
+Class Skill

FEATS  
[ COSMOPOLITAN](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/advancedFeats.html#_cosmopolitan) (APPRAISE AND DIPLOMACY)  
Living in large, exotic cities has put the character in touch with many diverse civilizations, cultures, and races.

[RACIAL ABILITIES: ELVEN](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advancedRaceGuide/coreRaces/elves.html#_elf-racial-traits)  
LANGUAGES - Tuatha begin play speaking Common and High Elven. Tuatha with high Intelligence scores can choose from the following: Celestial, Draconic, Gnoll, Gnome, Goblin, Orc, and Sylvan.

SPECIAL ABILITIES  
GODMARKED  
LEVEL 1:  
[HERO’S FORTUNE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/advancedNewRules.html#_hero's-fortune) \- Even at the start of her career, it was clear that the character had a chance at greatness, and her legend continues to grow with every adventure.  
[BINDING TIES](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/cleric.html#_binding-ties) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (3 USES/DAY) – The character can temporarily take the suffering as an ally onto herself, rendering them temporarily immune to the condition for a short time dependent on her character level.

CLASS FEATURES  
WEAPON AND ARMOUR PROFICIENCY: RANGER  
A ranger is proficient with all simple and martial weapons and with light armour, medium armour and shields (except tower shields).

[FAVOURED ENEMY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/ranger.html#_favored-enemy) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY] - HUMANOID (ELF)  
A ranger is better at attacking and damaging their favoured enemies. They spot them, track them, lie to them and understand them better, and know more about them than other similar creatures.

TRACK [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
A ranger is better at following or identifying tracks.

WILD EMPATHY [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
A ranger can communicate wordlessly with an animal, in the hope of making it more friendly towards the ranger and her allies.

COMBAT STYLE FEAT: [SHIELD FOCUS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_shield-focus) [REQUIRES: SHIELD PROFICIENCY, BAB +1]  
Increase the defensive bonus granted by any shield you are using.

SPELLS  
START AT LEVEL 4

* * *

JAKE ENGLISH [GUNSLINGER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/classes/gunslinger.html) ([PISTOLERO](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/classArchetypes/gunslinger.html#_pistolero-\(archetype\))) 2  
CHAOTIC GOOD

TL:DR – Shiny new armour, nasty slave collar, and he's lost his gun which is a big deal for this class. He is, however, more nimble now when lightly armoured.

[](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/ftgdn03fv9e57l0/Jake%20English.png?dl=0)

BASIC STATISTICS  
GENDER: Male  
HAIR/EYES: Black hair, green eyes  
HOMELAND: Quartzkin Clanhold  
DEITY: The Page of Hope  
LANGUAGES: Common, High Elven, Dwarven  
RACE: Tuatha (High Elf)

ATTRIBUTES  
STRENGTH: 13[+1]  
DEXTERITY: 16[+3]  
CONSTITUTION: 10[+0]  
INTELLIGENCE: 10[+0]  
WISDOM: 15[+2]  
CHARISMA: 10[+0]

HIT POINTS: 15/15  
HERO POINTS: 4/5  
INITIATIVE: +3  
BASE SPEED/S: 30ft (land)

ARMOUR CLASS [AC]: 18  
TOUCH AC: 14  
FLAT-FOOTED AC: 14

BASE ATTACK BONUS [BAB]: +2  
BASIC MELEE ATTACK: +3  
BASIC RANGED ATTACK: +5  
COMBAT MANEUVER BONUS [CMB]: +3  
COMBAT MANEUVER DEFENCE [CMD]: 16

SAVES  
FORTITUDE: +3  
REFLEX: +6  
WILL: +2

[WEAPONS/ATTACKS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_firearms-table)  
[CROSSBOW, LIGHT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_light-crossbow) – 20 ammunition

EQUIPMENT - [CARRYING CAPACITY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/additionalRules.html#_carrying-capacity) (STR 14)

EQUIPMENT - ITEM SLOTS  
CLOTHING: PERSONAL SLAVE'S OUTFIT  
This set of clothes consists of a sleeveless tunic and loose trousers, both made from expensive silken cloth. Comfortable sandals are provided as footwear.

ARMOUR: MASTERWORK MITHRAL CHAIN SHIRT  
+4 armour bonus, +6 max DEX bonus, -0 Armour Check Penalty, 10% Arcane Spell Failure Chance, LIGHT  
SPECIAL: An item made from mithral weighs half as much as the same item made from other metals. Masterwork armour has an Armour Check Penalty one lower than normal and can be enchanted.

NECK: PERSONAL SLAVE COLLAR  
This ornate collar is worked gold, set with a single gemstone carved with the sigil of the wearer's owner. It is magically attached to a pendant worn by the owner. When the wearer of the pendant places a Personal Slave Collar on a subject, the slave cannot remove the collar without the use of a _remove curse, limited wish, miracle_ or _wish_ spell. The wearer of the pendant can also remove a linked slave's collar at any time. Attempting to remove the collar in another fashion, such as through force, causes the collar to explode and do 6d6 points of force damage to the wearer and anyone nearby; any creature other than the wearer within 10 feet may make a Reflex save for half damage. The owner and anyone they specifically instruct do not trigger this effect.

The owner is aware of any wearer of a Personal Slave Collar like a constant _status spell (awareness of relative positions and general condition). Additionally, all wearers of linked collars count as familiar to their owner for purposes of spells such as _scrying_ and _teleport.__

By uttering a particular command word (usually known only to the owner and a few trusted individuals), the collar can be caused to send wracking pain through the wearer's body. The pain causes a -2 penalty to AC, attacks, melee damage rolls, and Reflex saving throws; characters must succeed as a DC 16 concentration check to cast spells. If, however, the wearer spends a move action screaming as loudly as possible they can act without any other penalties for the remainder of their turn. Creatures that cannot scream must suffer the full effect of the spell.

EQUIPMENT - POSSESSIONS  
Crossbow (Light) 4lbs, Bolts (Crossbow) [x20] 2lb, Masterwork Mithral Chain Shirt 12.5lbs, Dagger 1lb, Waterskin 4lbs

>BACKPACK, MASTERWORK 4lbs (Capacity 60lbs, +1 STR to carry loads)  
Tent (Small, 1 person) 20lbs, Bedroll 5lbs, Kit (Cooking) 2lbs, Rations (Trail) [x4] 4lb

>POUCH, BELT 0.5lbs (Capacity 10lbs)  
Flint and Steel, Compass 0.5lbs

TOTAL 59.5lbs (24.5lbs without backpack)

EQUIPMENT - MONEY  
0CP, 0SP, 0GP, 0PP  
OTHER:

SKILLS  
TRAINED  
+ACROBATICS +7(1)*, +CLIMB +5(1)*, +CRAFT(ALCHEMY) +5(2), KNOWLEDGE DUNGEONEERING +2(2), LINGUISTICS +1(1), +SURVIVAL +6(1), USE MAGIC DEVICE +1(1)

UNTRAINED  
APPRAISE +0, +BLUFF +0, CRAFT +0, DIPLOMACY +0, DISGUISE +0, ESCAPE ARTIST +3*, +HEAL +2, +INTIMIDATE +0, +PERCEPTION +2, PERFORM +0, +RIDE +3*, SENSE MOTIVE +2, STEALTH +3*, +SWIM +1*  
(FLY +3*)

*Armour Check Penalty: Skill at –0 due to armour worn.  
+Class Skill

FEATS  
[ RAPID RELOAD (PISTOL) [REQUIRES: WEAPON PROFICIENCY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/ultimateCombatFeats.html#_rapid-reload)  
The character can reload pistols quickly.

[RACIAL ABILITIES: ELVEN](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advancedRaceGuide/coreRaces/elves.html#_elf-racial-traits)  
LANGUAGES - Tuatha begin play speaking Common and High Elven. Tuatha with high Intelligence scores can choose from the following: Celestial, Draconic, Gnoll, Gnome, Goblin, Orc, and Sylvan.

SPECIAL ABILITIES  
GODMARKED  
LEVEL 1:  
[HERO’S FORTUNE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/advancedNewRules.html#_hero's-fortune) \- Even at the start of his career, it was clear that the character had a chance at greatness, and his legend continues to grow with every adventure.  
[HONOR BOUND](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/cleric.html#_honor-bound) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (3 USES/DAY) – The character can, with a touch, remind a creature of its duties and responsibilities and help them shake off an enchantment or compulsion. He can also attempt to shake off effects of this nature that have affected him.

CLASS FEATURES  
WEAPON AND ARMOUR PROFICIENCY: GUNSLINGER (PISTOLERO)  
Pistoleros are proficient with all simple and martial weapons, and with one-handed firearms. They are proficient with all light armour.

[GUNSMITH](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/classes/gunslinger.html#_gunsmith) (PISTOLERO)  
A gunslinger has a battered pistol, which only he knows how to properly use. To anyone else, the gun seems to be broken.

FEAT: [GUNSMITHING](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/ultimateCombatFeats.html#_gunsmithing)  
The character knows the secrets of repairing and restoring firearms.

[GRIT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/classes/gunslinger.html#_grit) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY] (2/2)  
Gunslingers make their mark upon the world with their grit, which they use to accomplish daring deeds (see below).

[DEEDS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/classes/gunslinger.html#_deeds)  
1\. [UP CLOSE AND DEADLY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/classArchetypes/gunslinger.html#_up-close-and-deadly) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
2\. [GUNSLINGER'S DODGE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/classes/gunslinger.html#_gunslinger%27s-dodge) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
3\. [QUICK CLEAR](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/classes/gunslinger.html#_quick-clear) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]

[NIMBLE [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY] (+1)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/classes/gunslinger.html#_nimble)  
Starting at 2nd level, the gunslinger gains a +1 dodge bonus to AC while wearing light or no armour.

* * *

ROXY LALONDE [WIZARD](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/wizard.html#_wizard) 1 / [ROGUE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/rogue.html#_rogue) 1  
CHAOTIC GOOD

TL:DR – Took a level of Rogue, so gained sneak attack and the ability to disable traps along with a bucketload of skill points. This does, however, make her terrible at hitting things in melee.

[](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/zy42hxw44i5aeg4/Roxy%20Lalonde.png?dl=0)

BASIC STATISTICS  
GENDER: Female  
HAIR/EYES: Blonde hair, pink eyes  
HOMELAND: City of Porthaven (Temple District)  
DEITY: The Rogue of Void  
LANGUAGES: Common, Celestial, High Elven, Draconic  
RACE: Aasimar

ATTRIBUTES  
STRENGTH: 10[+0]  
DEXTERITY: 13[+1]  
CONSTITUTION: 14[+2]  
INTELLIGENCE: 15[+2]  
WISDOM: 10[+0]  
CHARISMA: 14[+2]

HIT POINTS: 15/15  
HERO POINTS: 2/3  
INITIATIVE: +1  
BASE SPEED/S: 30ft (land)

ARMOUR CLASS [AC]: 11(15)  
TOUCH AC: 11  
FLAT-FOOTED AC: 10(14)

BASE ATTACK BONUS [BAB]: +0  
BASIC MELEE ATTACK: +0  
BASIC RANGED ATTACK: +1  
COMBAT MANEUVER BONUS [CMB]: +0  
COMBAT MANEUVER DEFENCE [CMD]: 11

SAVES  
FORTITUDE: +2  
REFLEX: +3  
WILL: +2

[WEAPONS/ATTACKS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_weapon-descriptions)  
[UNARMED](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_improved-unarmed-strike) [STRIKE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/combat.html#_unarmed-strike-damage)  
[CROSSBOW, LIGHT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_light-crossbow) – 20 ammunition  
[DAGGER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_dagger) \- Can be thrown, range 10ft.

EQUIPMENT - [CARRYING CAPACITY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/additionalRules.html#_carrying-capacity) (STR 10)

EQUIPMENT - ITEM SLOTS  
CLOTHING: ENTERTAINER'S OUTFIT  
This set of flashy- perhaps even gaudy- clothes is for entertaining. While the outfit looks whimsical, its practical design lets the character tumble, dance, walk a tightrope, or just run if the audience turns ugly.

EQUIPMENT - POSSESSIONS  
Crossbow (Light) 4lbs, Bolts (Crossbow) [x20] 2lb, Signet Ring, Dagger 1lb, Waterskin 4lbs

>POUCH, SPELL COMPONENTS 2lbs

>POUCH, BELT 0.5lbs (Capacity 10lbs)  
Drink (Wine, Fine) [Bottle] 1.5lbs, Ink (Black) [1oz. Vial], Inkpen, Pearl of Power (1st level)

TOTAL 15lbs

EQUIPMENT - MONEY  
0CP, 9SP, 0GP, 0PP  
OTHER:

SKILLS  
TRAINED  
+BLUFF +7(2), +DISABLE DEVICE* +6(2), +ESCAPE ARTIST +6(2)* +KNOWLEDGE ARCANA +7(2), +SPELLCRAFT +7(2), +STEALTH +9(2)*, +USE MAGIC DEVICE +7(2)

UNTRAINED  
ACROBATICS +1*, +APPRAISE +2, CLIMB +0*, +CRAFT +2, DIPLOMACY +2, +DISGUISE +2, HEAL +0, INTIMIDATE +2, PERCEPTION +2(4), PERFORM +2, RIDE +1*, SENSE MOTIVE +2(4), SURVIVAL +2, SWIM +0*  
(+FLY +1*)

*Armour Check Penalty: Skill at –0 due to armour worn.  
+Class Skill

FEATS  
[ARCANE STRIKE [REQUIRES: ARCANE SPELLCASTING]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_arcane-strike)  
The character draws upon her arcane power to enhance her weapons with magical energy.

[RACIAL ABILITIES: AASIMAR](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advancedRaceGuide/featuredRaces/aasimars.html#_aasimar-racial-traits)  
AASIMARS DO NOT COUNT AS OUTSIDERS FOR THE PURPOSE OF THIS SETTING.  
[DAYLIGHT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/daylight.html#_daylight) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Aasimars can touch an object and cause it to shed a brilliant light which drives back even magical darkness.  
LANGUAGES – Aasimars begin play speaking Common and Celestial. Aasimars with high Intelligence scores can choose any of the following bonus languages: Draconic, Dwarven, High Elven, Gnome, Halfling, and Sylvan.

SPECIAL ABILITIES  
GODMARKED  
LEVEL 1:  
[IMPROVED UNARMED STRIKE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_improved-unarmed-strike) \- The character is skilled at fighting while unarmed.  
[COPYCAT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/cleric.html#_trickery-domain) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (5 USES/DAY) – The character can briefly, dependent on her character level, create an illusory double of herself to distract or mislead others.  
EXTRA – Bluff, Disguise and Stealth are class skills.

CLASS FEATURES  
WEAPON AND ARMOUR PROFICIENCY: WIZARD  
Wizards are proficient with the club, dagger, heavy crossbow, light crossbow, and quarterstaff, but not with any type of armour or shield. Armour interferes with a wizard's movements, which can cause her spells with somatic components to fail.

[ARCANE BOND](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/wizard.html#_arcane-bond) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]: [FAMILIAR](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/wizard.html#_familiars) (FRIGGLISH, [CAT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/monsters/familiar.html#_cat))  
Grants his master a +3 bonus on Stealth checks.  
If a familiar is dismissed, lost, or dies, it can be replaced 1 week later though a specialised ritual that costs 200gp per wizard level. The ritual takes 8 hours to complete.  
HIT POINTS: 7 HIT DICE: 2  
SIZE: Tiny REACH: 0ft SPEED: 30ft  
STR 3[-4], DEX 15[+2], CON 8[-1], INT 6[-2], WIS 12[+1], CHA 7[-2]  
ATTACK:  
BAB: +0 ATTACK: BITE +2 (1d3-4), CLAWS[x2] +2 (1d2-4)  
CMB: +0  
DEFENCE:  
AC: 15 (Natural Armour +1)  
CMD: 8 (12 vs. trip)  
SAVES: FORT 1, REF 4, WILL 1  
SKILLS:  
Climb 6, Perception 5, Stealth 14 (use master's skill ranks if better)  
FEATS:  
[Weapon Finesse](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_weapon-finesse)  
SPECIAL ABILITIES:  
[Low-Light Vision](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/glossary.html#_low-light-vision), [Scent](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/glossary.html#_scent), [Empathic Link](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/wizard.html#_familiar-empathic-link), [Improved Evasion](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/wizard.html#_familiar-improved-evasion), [Share Spells](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/wizard.html#_familiar-share-spells)

ARCANE SCHOOL: [ILLUSION](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/wizard.html#_illusion-school)  
OPPOSITION SCHOOLS: [NECROMANCY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/wizard.html#_necromancy-school), [DIVINATION](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/wizard.html#_divination-school)  
A wizard that chooses to specialise in one school of magic must select two opposition schools whose spells are harder for them to cast, but they gain the ability to cast an additional spell from their school each day and related school powers.  
1\. EXTENDED ILLUSIONS [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY]  
2\. BLINDING RAY [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (5 USES/DAY)

FEAT: [SCRIBE SCROLL](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_scribe-scroll)  
The character can create magic scrolls.

FEAT: [ALERTNESS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_alertness) [REQUIRES: FAMILIAR WITHIN ARM'S REACH]  
The character often notices things that others might miss when her familiar is nearby.

[SNEAK ATTACK [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY] (+1d6 Precision Damage)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/rogue.html#_sneak-attack)  
A rogue can strike a vital spot for more damage whenever their foe is in a vulnerable position.

[TRAPFINDING](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/rogue.html#_trapfinding) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
The rogue adds 1/2 her level to Perception skill checks made to locate traps and to Disable Device skill checks (minimum +1). A rogue can use Disable Device to disarm magic traps.

SPELLS  
LEVEL 0 [3 Prepared, At Will] Save DC 12  
+(ILLU) GHOST SOUND – Figment sounds.  
+(TRANS) MESSAGE – Whisper conversation at distance.  
+(UNIV) PRESTIDIGITATION – Performs minor tricks.

WIZARD CANTRIPS KNOWN: [RESISTANCE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/resistance.html#_resistance), [ACID SPLASH](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/acidSplash.html#_acid-splash), [DRENCH](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/rare-cantrips), [DAZE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/daze.html#_daze), [BREEZE](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/rare-cantrips), [DANCING LIGHTS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/dancingLights.html#_dancing-lights), [FLARE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/flare.html#_flare), [LIGHT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/light.html#_light), [PENUMBRA](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/rare-cantrips), [RAY OF FROST](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/rayOfFrost.html#_ray-of-frost), [SCOOP](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/rare-cantrips), [SPARK](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/spells/spark.html#_spark-), [GHOST SOUND](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/ghostSound.html#_ghost-sound), [HAUNTED FEY ASPECT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/spells/hauntedFeyAspect.html#_haunted-fey-aspect), [JOLT](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/rare-cantrips), [MAGE HAND](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/mageHand.html#_mage-hand), [MENDING](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/mending.html#_mending), [MESSAGE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/message.html#_message), [OPEN/CLOSE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/openClose.html#_open-close), [ROOT](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/rare-cantrips), [ARCANE MARK](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/arcaneMark.html#_arcane-mark), [PRESTIDIGITATION](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/prestidigitation.html#_prestidigitation)

LEVEL 1 [2/Day+1 Prepared] Save DC 13  
SCHOOL SPELL (ILLUSION):  
+(ILLU)ILLUSION OF CALM – You appear to be standing still, even when you take some actions.  
+(CONJ) MAGE ARMOUR – Gives subject +4 armour bonus.  
+(ENCH)CHARM PERSON – Makes one person your friend.

WIZARD FIRST-LEVEL SPELLS KNOWN: [MAGE ARMOUR](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/mageArmor.html#_mage-armor), [ILLUSION OF CALM](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/spells/illusionOfCalm.html#_illusion-of-calm), [MAGIC AURA](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/magicAura.html#_magic-aura), [SHADOW WEAPON](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spells/shadowWeapon.html#_shadow-weapon), [CHARM PERSON](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/charmPerson.html#_charm-person)

* * *

DIRK STRIDER [BARD](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/bard.html#_bard) ([SOUND STRIKER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spellcastingClassOptions/bard.html#_sound-striker-\(archetype\))) 2  
NEUTRAL GOOD

TL:DR – Now resistant to Sonic Attacks and able to look good while being Acrobatic.

[ ](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/l063jz6sb9qxflb/Dirk%20Strider.png?dl=0)

BASIC STATISTICS  
GENDER: Male  
HAIR/EYES: Blonde hair, orange eyes  
HOMELAND: City of Porthaven (No Fixed Abode)/The Greenweald Forest Region (No Fixed Abode)  
DEITY: The Prince of Heart  
LANGUAGES: Common, Celestial, High Elven, Dwarven  
RACE: Aasimar

ATTRIBUTES  
STRENGTH: 13[+1]  
DEXTERITY: 12[+1]  
CONSTITUTION: 10[+0]  
INTELLIGENCE: 14[+2]  
WISDOM: 10[+0]  
CHARISMA: 17[+3]

HIT POINTS: 13/13  
HERO POINTS: 2/3  
INITIATIVE: +1  
BASE SPEED/S: 30ft (land)

ARMOUR CLASS [AC]: 14  
TOUCH AC: 11  
FLAT-FOOTED AC: 13

BASE ATTACK BONUS [BAB]: +1  
BASIC MELEE ATTACK: +2  
BASIC RANGED ATTACK: +2  
COMBAT MANEUVER BONUS [CMB]: +2  
COMBAT MANEUVER DEFENCE [CMD]: 13

SAVES  
FORTITUDE: +0  
REFLEX: +4  
WILL: +3

[WEAPONS/ATTACKS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/combat/easternArmorAndWeapons.html#_table-eastern-weapons-exotic)  
[MASTERWORK KATANA](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_katana) – This is a [deadly](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/combat/easternArmorAndWeapons.html#_deadly) weapon.  
[DAGGER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_dagger) \- Can be thrown, range 10ft.

EQUIPMENT - [CARRYING CAPACITY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/additionalRules.html#_carrying-capacity) (STR 13)

EQUIPMENT - ITEM SLOTS  
CLOTHING: ENTERTAINER'S OUTFIT + MASK  
This set of flashy- perhaps even gaudy- clothes is for entertaining. While the outfit looks whimsical, its practical design lets the character tumble, dance, walk a tightrope, or just run if the audience turns ugly. The mask is made from painted, varnished wood and cloth; it is ornate, gaudy even- a cheaper and more practical imitation of what a nobleman might wear to a masquerade ball.

ARMOUR: MASTERWORK STUDDED LEATHER  
+3 armour bonus, +5 max DEX bonus, -0 Armour Check Penalty, 15% Arcane Spell Failure Chance, LIGHT  
SPECIAL: Masterwork armour has an Armour Check Penalty one lower than normal and can be enchanted.

EQUIPMENT - POSSESSIONS  
Masterwork Katana 6lbs, Masterwork Studded Leather 20lbs, Clothing (Mask, 3gp) 1lb, Dagger 1lb, Waterskin 4lbs

>BACKPACK, COMMON 2lbs (Capacity 60lbs)  
Tent (Small, 1 person) 20lbs, Bedroll 5lbs, Kit (Juggler's) 10lbs, Rations (Wandermeal) [x20] [Eating this tough, dried cake for over a week without other nutrients causes the eater to feel ill] 10lbs

>POUCH, BELT 0.5lbs (Capacity 10lbs)  
Flint and Steel, Whetstone 1lb

>CARAVAN (Capacity 200lbs, Can produce mundane items up to 25gp in value)  
Maplehoof (Heavy Horse)

TOTAL 80.5lb (33.5lbs without backpack)

EQUIPMENT - MONEY  
8CP, 6SP, 9GP, 0PP  
OTHER:

SKILLS  
TRAINED  
+APPRAISE +6(1), +BLUFF +8(2), +DIPLOMACY +8(2), HANDLE ANIMAL +4(1), +INTIMIDATE +7(1), +KNOWLEDGE LOCAL +7(1), +PERCEPTION +4(1), +PERFORM(SHARP RHYMES) +8(2), +PERFORM(SWEET MOVES) +8(2), +SENSE MOTIVE +5(2)

UNTRAINED  
+ACROBATICS +1*, +CLIMB +1*, +CRAFT +2, +DISGUISE +3, +ESCAPE ARTIST +1*, HEAL +0, +KNOWLEDGE ARCANA +3, +KNOWLEDGE DUNGEONEERING +3, +KNOWLEDGE ENGINEERING +3, +KNOWLEDGE GEOGRAPHY +3, +KNOWLEDGE HISTORY +3, +KNOWLEDGE NATURE +3, +KNOWLEDGE NOBILITY +3, +KNOWLEDGE PLANES +3, +KNOWLEDGE RELIGION +3, +PERFORM +3, RIDE +1*, +STEALTH +1*, SURVIVAL +0, SWIM +1*  
(FLY +1*)

*Armour Check Penalty: Skill at –0 due to armour worn.  
+Class Skill

FEATS  
[SPELLSONG [REQUIRES: CHA 13, BARDIC PERFORMANCE, 1st-LEVEL SPELLCASTING]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/ultimateMagicFeats.html#_spellsong)  
The character can blend the power of his performance and spellcasting.

[RACIAL ABILITIES: AASIMAR](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advancedRaceGuide/featuredRaces/aasimars.html#_aasimar-racial-traits)  
AASIMARS DO NOT COUNT AS OUTSIDERS FOR THE PURPOSE OF THIS SETTING.  
[DAYLIGHT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/daylight.html#_daylight) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Aasimars can touch an object and cause it to shed a brilliant light which drives back even magical darkness.  
LANGUAGES – Aasimars begin play speaking Common and Celestial. Aasimars with high Intelligence scores can choose any of the following bonus languages: Draconic, Dwarven, High Elven, Gnome, Halfling, and Sylvan.

SPECIAL ABILITIES  
GODMARKED  
LEVEL 1:  
WEAPON PROFICIENCY (KATANA)  
[DESTRUCTIVE SMITE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/cleric.html#_destruction-domain) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (6 USES/DAY)– The character can do more damage on a single melee attack, dependent on his character level. 

CLASS FEATURES  
WEAPON AND ARMOUR PROFICIENCY: BARD  
A bard is proficient with all simple weapons, plus the longsword, rapier, sap, shortsword, shortbow and whip. Bards are also proficient with light armour and shields (except tower shields). A bard can cast bard spells while wearing light armour and using a shield without incurring the normal arcane spell failure chance. Like any other arcane spellcaster, a bard wearing medium or heavy armour incurs a chance of arcane spell failure is the spell in question has a somatic component. A multiclass bard still incurs the normal arcane spell failure chance for arcane spells received from other classes.

BARDIC KNOWLEDGE [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
A bard has a little knowledge in all areas, and learns more as he becomes more experienced.

[BARDIC PERFORMANCE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/bard.html#_bardic-performance) (9 ROUNDS/DAY)  
A bard can create magical effects around him, so long as he is able to keep performing. He can make use of the following abilities when he performs, so long as he can be seen and/or heard by those he wishes to affect.  
1\. COUNTERSONG [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY]  
2\. DISTRACTION [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY]  
3\. FASCINATE [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (TARGETS 1)  
4\. INSPIRE COURAGE [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY]

[VERSATILE PERFORMANCE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/bard.html#_versatile-performance) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY] (Perform [Sweet Moves])  
At 2nd level, the bard can choose one type of Perform skill. He can use his bonus in that skill in place of his bonus in associated skills. Perform (Sweet Moves) can substitute for: Acrobatics, Fly

[WELL-VERSED](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/bard.html#_well-versed) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
At 2nd level, the bard becomes resistant to the bardic performance of others, and to sonic effects in general.

SPELLS  
LEVEL 0 [At Will] Save DC 13  
[DETECT MAGIC](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/detectMagic.html#_detect-magic), [MESSAGE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/message.html#_message), [PRESTIDIGITATION](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/prestidigitation.html#_prestidigitation), [SIFT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/spells/sift.html#_sift), [UNWITTING ALLY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/spells/unwittingAlly.html#_unwitting-ally)

LEVEL 1 [3/Day] Save DC 14  
[CHORD OF SHARDS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spells/chordOfShards.html#_chord-of-shards), [MOMENT OF GREATNESS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/spells/momentOfGreatness.html#_moment-of-greatness), [TIMELY INSPIRATION](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/spells/timelyInspiration.html#_timely-inspiration)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I believe that at some point I mentioned I was using half-elf age progression for my elves, but I never said what that was or why. So for the people who don't know D&D or Pathfinder, here's the explanation of that and what it means.
> 
> Ageing for different races is laid out by two tables; the RANDOM STARTING AGES table, which gives a range of starting ages for characters based on race and class, and the AGING EFFECTS table, which tells at how many years of life a character of a given race is considered to hit middle age, old age, venerable age, and maximum age. From the first table we can calculate a minimum starting age to work out when a child becomes an adult; so far, so simple.
> 
> For humans, the RANDOM STARTING AGE table gives a minimum human starting age of 16 (for Barbarians, Rogues, Sorcerers, Bards, Fighters, Paladins and Rangers- anything that doesn't require years of dedicated study, basically). Okay, so adulthood is 16, no problem. The elf equivalent to this? **114**. D &D players the world over try to come up with explanations for this one. The best available is “well they age at a similar rate to humans, but aren't considered adult until then!” Good try, but it doesn't work, because are you seriously telling me that an Elf Barbarian wouldn't ever leave home before coming of age? An Elf Rogue wouldn't start looking out for themselves until hitting an arbitrary point decades ahead? It gets worse when you look at the age-up points; elves hit middle age at 175 years and old age at 263. So if they have kids young, they'll still be middle aged before their kids reach adulthood. They spend less time as a young, healthy adult than they do as a child!
> 
> Half-elves have a minimum starting age of 21, and in general age at about half the rate of humans, which is more manageable than crazy elf ages. The reason why all the characters in this story are 23 is that it is the highest minimum starting age for half-elves (Cleric, Druid, Monk, Wizard)- or the LOWEST age I can give to everyone and have them all at legal start ages! Although technically it does overage a bunch of the aasimar, but never mind that.
> 
> This starts getting interesting when you convert equivalent ages; all the aasimar characters and Aradia are 23, but all the elves and Sollux are effectively 17. I did some working out, and for the purposes of this universe the ageing is equivalent up to 5 years old. Then, with ageing expressed as Actual Years(Human Equivalent), elves hit 17(13); adulthood at 21(16), middle age at 62(35), old age at 93(53), venerable at 125(70) and maximum at 185(110). This also has interesting effects on the family unit. Human ageing is such that they will usually be one age category ahead of their children. Not so for elves- it's entirely possible for them to be a great-grandparent while barely scraping middle age. See...
> 
> HUMAN: Parent 17, Grandparent 34, Great-Grandparent 51  
> ELF: Parent 22, Grandparent 44, Great-Grandparent 66
> 
> As a more concrete example- Karkat's mother had him slightly underage at age 20(15), and died when he was that same age- making her 40(25). Still young. Elves are always frickin' weird.


	20. ==> Dreamer: Observe

## ==> Dreamer: Observe

617.

You are not yet certain what the numbers mean. They drift discrete but connected through the fabric of your visions, the deepest root and the furthest branch of history, the inevitable purpose of the universe and yet, you sense, far from the entirety of the tale. Your waking self has no conception of their existence and you, no means to fathom their nature. Sometimes you think it one number; at others, a multitude folded into the same short space.

617.

History moves. More like the wind than any river, vast and chaotic, sometimes still enough that it seems to not be there at all and sometimes fierce enough to destroy all works of those who toil within its path. And yet it has direction, intent, a pull stronger than the ocean's sway on the waterways of the world. In your mind's eye it is a light, a brilliant burning sun whose evanescence scorches through the flimsy fabric of reality and sears away everything that cannot lead to its glory.

617.

Nothing can defy the light, but many roads twist and turn and branch and meet before they reach the ultimate goal. All you have are glimpses, brief windows into moments of possibility that let you twist the future and transform it into one which better suits your wishes. You look ahead to see what can be done and note with the cool detachment of one who walks with destiny in hand that more of them are dark. The tangle of futures past is the shroud your adversary weaves, concealing themselves within a shell of doomed timelines that even your light cannot penetrate.

617.

From the machinations of your foe stretches only one possibility; beneath the roiling clouds of darkness that blot the sun and moons from the sky march armies of undead, the few scattered survivors being hunted down one by one. Even on such a simple path you cannot see too far ahead and the ultimate resolution is beyond you, but whatever fate awaits this world you cannot imagine a more tortured journey than the one your nemesis has devised.

617.

Like your waking self, you need to know more. With every passing day your options shrink and now the single bright thread of hope grows fragile in the shadow of fates unbound. You reach out to touch the motes of light around you, drawing glimpses of the lives who still have the power to overcome warped and malign destiny. Those nearest to you are somehow darkest, hidden not by the power of your enemy but by some other force which keeps you all protected and possessed of your own agency. Others not so near are a simpler proposition.

617.

The night is bright as the thief approaches the inn, a black shadow on grey walls who moves not furtively, but with a simple swagger as if his right to be there is unquestionable and inalienable. Despite the brazen nature of his garb no one stops him to question or challenge his presence. Through the gaps in closed shutters pours the warm light of the taproom's hearth fire and the merry laughter of the merchants, travellers, and adventurers who are the patrons of the inn.

617.

The thief- _the Knight, whispers your heart, and you make note of the discrepancy for you do not recall that he has yet been given such elevation_ \- knows he must be careful. The landlord and landlady of this place will be watchful, their eyes turning to the darkness beyond their doors as they await the return of their beloved children. Tomorrow they will know that the waiting will not soon end, but for now they are hopeful and ready to give stern lectures to their wayward offspring. If their watching catches the thief then they will not be so kind.

617.

Horses shift in the stables as he passes, faint whickers and whinnies that fail to carry through thick stone walls and the joyful chatter within. Accustomed to strange stable yards and unfamiliar people the dozing animals pay little heed as he finds foothold in the planks of the wall; he climbs to the stable roof with practised ease and from there it is a simple matter for him to reach the windows of the upper floor. A slim piece of metal slides between the shutters and lifts the latch, the thief vanishing into the dark portal and the interior of the inn.

617.

Is it even theft, when what he takes already belongs to the people he will then deliver it to? The question is moot. He will take more than he was sent to find, although how much is still uncertain. You cannot predict his actions when even he does not know them; on some level you think he understands that, manipulates his place in the pattern and finds his own path much as you do. His mission will succeed because it must, and the inn fades as you follow the threads once again. Sparkling fragments of understanding fly by and you struggle to assemble them into coherence.

617.

Faces flash before you, the connection intermittent as you brush against the veil that protects those closest to you. It is patchy in places and through them you glimpse the thief's brother, settled by a campfire and from the motion of his mouth singing something. Beside him, with an eerie echo, you see the Oracle. Yourself, sleeping. Through her you hear the song, and you are surprised to hear something melodic, almost melancholy. You look closer at the singer and see fractures, a single self reflected in so many broken fragments that you are not sure which is truth. Perhaps all of them are; you have little time to wonder as the grey shadow closes over him once more. As your vision fades he looks up and for an instant seems to see you clearly.

617.

Unsettled by the contact you retreat, seeking greater distances in space or time. Another voice is singing, raised in a cheery tune that calls to you across the vast reaches all the web of fate and draws you in. The singer is unfamiliar to you but in the threads around you are the vibrations of a future acquaintance. You examine her, dark hair loose and shining in tomorrow's sunlight, a dance in her step as she leads a small band of travellers through what you recognise as the deep Greenweald.

617.

She is a druid, you think, from the easy way she moves through the foliage around her. The impression is borne out by the immense wolf that pads softly after her. Though he seems gentle in the moment you see, you know well enough what a danger he might be to any who threaten his charge. You are not the only one aware of the peril; one of her companions watches the wolf warily, although the beast seems to pay him little heed.

617.

He is a strange one, this watchful traveller. Neither elf nor tiefling, and unlike any half breed that your waking mind recalls. Around him bend the lines of predestination, his to see but not control, and although he cannot be consciously aware of the weight of endings that overshadow him you think he feels them anyway. A more distant part of you suggests that he, like you, should see more than the lot of ordinary mortals. An interesting impression; you note it for later study.

617.

Another of the party intrigues you more, a Drow woman who walks serenely behind her fellows and merely smiles as they quibble and banter. You know her, you remember, and her companions too save the druid, but as you see the intersections of futures unmade the interest of familiarity becomes something tighter in your chest. You miss her, although you don't know why, and you find yourself wondering what place she holds in this tapestry.

617.

The thought sends you spinning, detaching from the small party of adventurers, plunging beneath the earth and back in time until you stand almost upon the present moment, watching another stranger as they go about their business. Another Drow, a woman in teal and a symbol you remember from ancient, forbidden texts. She is in a temple thick with incense and smoke, the darkness broken by dim magical lights, coloured reflections sparkling off priceless idols of precious metals and gems. She walks as if she owns the place and yet still glances to be sure she is unseen before drawing a sword from behind the plain stone altar. It more than glitters or gleams; it shines with its own inner light.

617.

From her you find your way to three others, mere boys to the eyes of an aasimar and oracle. From the angular patterns and heavy fabrics you can tell that, ornate as it is, this is another Drow room. Unsurprisingly, two of the occupants are dark elves, but the third is a Tuatha who appears familiar to you. Not for the first time you regret that your dreaming self and your waking self seem singularly incapable of sharing information.

617.

As you try to look more closely at the boy you think you recognise, a prickle runs up the back of the neck your dreaming self does not possess. Trying to locate the source, you find yourself looking into a pair of vivid red eyes. The Drow is looking at you, not the possible glance that you received from the singer at the campfire earlier but instead a direct stare that leaves no question that he can see you as clearly as you see him.

617\. 617. 617...

413.

612.

TT: It appears that I am not the only one dreaming.  
CG: NO SHIT GENIUS. ARE YOU ALWAYS THIS PERCEPTIVE OR DO YOU GO THROUGH PERIODS OF BEING EVEN MORE COMPLETELY FUCKING OBLIVIOUS TO THE WORLD AROUND YOU? NO, WAIT, DON'T ANSWER THAT. I DON'T ACTUALLY CARE.  
TT: There is no need to be hostile. I presume that you are a fellow oracle? Perhaps we could compare notes on our impending doom and potential strategies to avert it.  
CG: I WOULD ASK WHAT IMPENDING DOOM, BUT HONESTLY IF THE UNIVERSE ISN'T CONSPIRING TO FUCK US ALL OVER THEN SOMETHING HAS PROBABLY GONE CRITICALLY WRONG AT A FUNDAMENTAL LEVEL.  
TT: I believe that that is precisely what has happened, or is at any rate happening. Do you mean to tell me that despite your presence here, you cannot see the future before us?  
CG: SHIT. YOU DON'T REMEMBER ANYTHING. WELL, I GUESS THAT'S US COMPLETELY SCREWED. NOT EVEN THE SEERS CAN SEE ANYTHING; WE MIGHT AS WELL ALL START GOUGING OUR OCULAR SPHERES OUT WITH HEMISPHERICAL SCOOPING UTENSILS.  
TT: I think that perhaps a more meaningful exchange of information might prove more fruitful than this directionless aggression. If we could just start over and attempt to converse like civilized sentients this discussion would be considerably more amicable.  
CG: NO, FUCK THAT. IT WOULDN'T DO ANY GOOD.  
CG: PRESENT ME IS A NOOKSNIFFING, NUB-BITING BULGESTAIN WITH A HOLE THE SIZE OF BOTH STRIDERS' PUFFED UP EGOS IN HIS THINKPAN OUT OF WHICH LEAKS ANYTHING THAT MIGHT CONCEIVABLY MAKE HIM ANY LESS OF A USELESS BILE EXPULSION.  
CG: HE WON'T REMEMBER A SINGLE THING YOU TELL ME.  
CG: AND SINCE I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING USEFUL THAT YOU WILL REMEMBER WHEN YOU LEAVE THIS PLEASANT LITTLE INTERLUDE IN THE LAND OF ASSHOLES AND DISAPPOINTMENT  
CG: I THINK THAT I WILL JUST TAKE THE OPPORTUNITY TO SAY FUCK YOU WITH A RUSTY CULLING FORK, LALONDE, BECAUSE I DO NOT APPRECIATE BEING DITCHED AND YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE OF MY SO CALLED FRIENDS THAT I WILL ACTUALLY GET THE OPPORTUNITY TO SAY THAT TO WHILE I'M STUCK AS THAT DRIBBLING MORON.  
TT: ...  
TT: Fascinating. Have you always projected your self-hatred onto those around you, or is this a more recent development in your psyche?  
CG: HA. HA. ANALYSE AWAY, ASSHOLE. THE DAY I GIVE A SHIT IS THE DAY WINGED OINKBEASTS START DEFECATING ICE INTO THE BURNING FIRES OF HELL.  
TT: Then you don't mind?  
CG: NO. BECAUSE, AS WE HAVE ALREADY ESTABLISHED, YOU DON'T KNOW A FUCKING THING ABOUT ME.  
CG: DO YOU REALLY THINK YOU CAN GET AN ACCURATE READ UNDER THESE CIRCUMSTANCES?  
TT: I can hardly be certain, but I do seem to be striking some kind of chord, don't I?  
CG: AH, OF COURSE. NO MEANS YES, AND YES MEANS YES, AND FUCK OFF MEANS PLEASE DISSECT MY THINKPAN MORE.  
CG: I REMEMBER THIS HOOFBEAST SHIT AND I DIDN'T LIKE IT THE FIRST MILLION TIMES.  
TT: And yet you are not willing to find some other topic of discussion with which to occupy my time- such as, to pluck an entirely random example from the ether, the possibility of an exchange of information on the threat which hangs like a darkening cloud over us all.  
TT: Without such an intervention, I can only assume that you in fact have a deeply seated desire to discuss your obvious issues with a neutral party, and as such I offer my own humble services as a listener.  
CG: UGH. OKAY, FINE.  
CG: IF IT'S THE ONLY WAY TO SHUT YOU UP AND PREVENT THIS ABOMINABLE MOCKERY OF A FEELINGS JAM, THEN I WILL COOPERATE WITH YOUR SLIME-ROTTED "PLAN".  
CG: YOU CAN GO FIRST. FUTILE AS IT IS, I'LL ASK YOU TO KEEP IT BRIEF; MAYBE THEN SOME FRAGMENT OF ACTUAL MEANING WILL SURVIVE THE MENTAL FLUSHING LOAD GAPER OF WAKING.  
TT: You have quite the way with words, don't you?  
CG: JUST GET THE FUCK ON WITH IT, LALONDE.  
TT: Very well, if you insist.  
TT: My visions show me very little, save that some person or persons unknown are setting in motion plans that will result in the demise and unholy reanimation of the vast majority of the world's population.  
TT: Despite the lack of evidence currently at large, I believe these plans will reach fruition within the next year.  
TT: Beyond that, things are unclear. Our adversary has no small mastery over the webs of fate.  
CG: TRUST ME, IF THEY CAN HIDE WHAT THEY'RE DOING FROM YOU, THAT'S PUTTING IT MILDLY.  
TT: You know something relevant?  
CG: I KNOW LOTS OF THINGS, BUT WHAT'S IMPORTANT HERE IS THAT TO PULL THE WOOL OVER YOUR EYES LIKE THIS THEY WOULD HAVE TO BE WIELDING THE POWER OF A GOD. OR SEVERAL GODS.  
CG: SHIT, THAT ACTUALLY MAKES SENSE. NO WONDER THEY  
TT: No wonder they what?  
CG: NOTHING. OR NOTHING YOU'LL REMEMBER, AT LEAST.  
CG: OKAY, HERE'S MY ADVICE, AND I'M GOING TO SAY IT IN SHORT, SIMPLE WORDS SO THAT YOUR RIDICULOUS THINKPAN HAS SOME CHANCE OF RETAINING IT:  
CG: LOOK FOR THE LORDS OF THE LUNAR PLANES.  
CG: SERIOUSLY. IF THEY AREN'T SOMEHOW RESPONSIBLE- AND I WOULDN'T PUT IT PAST THEM, ESPECIALLY NOT ANTARES AND SADALMELIK, THEY'VE NEVER BEEN ANYTHING BUT TROUBLE- THEN THEY'LL KNOW BETTER THAN ANYONE WHO IS.  
TT: Hmm. An interesting thought, and one I had not considered.  
TT: I was planning to head for the Starspire, myself- do you think I should continue in that direction, or should I be attempting to locate or contact the planar lords?  
CG: NO, STARSPIRE ISN'T A COMPLETELY RETARDED PLAN.  
CG: I'D BE CAREFUL, THOUGH. NO WAY TO TELL IF OUR FATE-WEAVING ENEMY HAS STUCK THEIR GREASY LITTLE FINGERS IN IT YET.  
TT: You are correct. I will be cautious.  
TT: One other thing- the roads of destiny show a possibility that if we continue our opposition of the coming apocalypse, our futures may well entwine.  
TT: For reference, then, might I ask the name of my ally?  
CG: TYPICAL. WHY ARE THE MOST ANNOYING ASSHOLES ALWAYS THE MOST DIFFICULT TO GET RID OF?  
CG: IT'S CARCINOGENETICIST.  
CG: KARKAT VANTAS.  
TT: tentacleTherapist. Rose Lalonde.  
CG: I KNOW, IDIOT.  
CG: SEE YOU LATER.  
CG: TRY NOT TO FORGET.

612.

413.

617.

Normality returns, the beat of the universe resuming, your command over the pathways of light renewed. The other consciousness fades, leaving you alone at the heart of the web of light. For what could be an eternity or could be a single heartbeat you pause and take in your domain; the myriad lines of evanescent wyrd, the shadowed snarl of mystery that lies ahead, the deep fog that surrounds your present.

617.

Your time here is drawing to a close. You look outwards to the real world and see the light of a new dawn; in a mote of thought you are ascending towards it, returning to your body through the guidance of the silver cord about your ankle. All around you echoes the number of prophecy but already it is fading from your mind. You try to hold on to the words given to you by your ally.

617.

When you're awake it is all at once. No lounging, no long doze and slow return to the land of the living for you. Sunlight filters into the caravan through the patterned curtains on the small window; the cloth gives it a reddish cast which stains everything within. Across from you, curled up and snoring on the other narrow bed, lies your sister. An empty bottle is still clutched loosely in her hand it to dangles over the edge.

_Look for the lords of the lunar planes._

You mouth the words to yourself as you swing your legs out from under the blankets and sit upright. Pots, pans, and other assorted sundries come perilously close to hitting you in the head as you traverse to the door, but you make it unscathed and step out into the bright, warm air of morning. Not far from the caravan you can see your companions gathered around a campfire; Jane is still stubbornly wrapped in a bedroll, and Dave appears to be either sleeping with her as a pillow or making a show of doing so, but John and Dirk are attempting to cook a pot of something that you are certain will not be half so nutritious as it is hot. Your suspicions as to the nature of breakfast are only made more dire when you see John snatching utensils and hiding them from his fellow cook; Dirk is stirring the pot with a dagger, and you dread to think of what else that blade might have touched.

They look up as you approach; Dirk greets you with a nod and John with a broad smile and a "Good morning!" Dave waves without even looking in your direction, which you think rather neatly answers the question of whether he was asleep. The grass is damp with dew and cool as you sit by the pot and note that you will be breaking your fast on porridge seasoned with that same greenery. The warmth of the rising sun burns through the last vestiges of your sleepiness, chasing away your nebulous dreams and making you once again a whole person.

Your mouth stops moving as you greet your friends, and the details of your dreams are burned from your mind by daylight. Were he not in similar straits, Karkat Vantas would probably get a sense of bitter vindication to know that within a few minutes you have forgotten about the Planeslords- and him- entirely.

### Suggestions Used

 _Ms Arano_ \- Rose: Dream

 _WhiteTiger1221_ – Rose: Ponder how you and this motley band are possibly going to be able to save the world

 _Silverkyo_ – Dave: Sneak into the inn and get your bro's stuff

 _Silverkyo_ – Dirk: Sing me a song piano man

 _Silverkyo_ – Jade: Start Singing “On the road again”, that song you heard from old man willie nelson

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No system this chapter. Why? Because I am the ALMIGHTY GM IS WHY! MWA HA HA HA HAA!
> 
> Actually it's because this chapter is character interaction and plot furtherance, with a sideline in getting everybody their wealth by level without risking losing it all on a bad dice roll. Plus last update was all system, so this one's all story. See y'all next week!
> 
> EDIT:  
> Moved the notes from the top of the chapter to the bottom.


	21. ==> Dirk: Your Position Is Obviously No Longer Safe. Leave As Fast As... Oh, Who Are We Even Fucking Kidding Here?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Hero point votes:**  
>  NONE SO FAR

## ==> Dirk: Your Position Is Obviously No Longer Safe. Leave As Fast As... Oh, Who Are We Even Fucking Kidding Here?

After you've eaten breakfast and reclaimed the majority of your cooking kit back from one John Warden, defender of the peace and prankster extraordinaire, you lie back on the grass and tilt your head very slightly to the side to watch as your brother recounts his part in last night's battle for what seems like the thousandth time. You don't begrudge him the success- in fact, you're impressed as all fuck and more than a bit proud- but you're starting to get the feeling that he needs taking down a peg or two before his head gets permanently inflated. You're clearly not the only one who feels that way, either; although John is listening to Dave's story with a big dopey grin, Rose's smile looks more like patient tolerance to you and if Jane tries to narrow her mouth in any more disapproval it will probably vanish altogether.

“You know, the rest of us were fighting right beside you!” she snaps, tugging her blanket a little tighter around herself as she glares at the boys. They stare back, John's mouth making a little round “o”, and you see the faintest flicker of a smirk cross Dave's face.

“Nah, that was just in your head,” he says, with a nonchalant shrug. “My combat skills were so sicknasty smooth, your eyes couldn't believe the levels of badass they were seeing, so they made shit up to stop your brain exploding out your ears and making a gross mess all over my sweet gear.” He taps the top of his sword and briefly meets your eyes; you roll them to let him know that you are unimpressed.

Beside him, John laughs. “Oh, man, no way are you claiming that sword is good!”

Dave turns his head to stare at the elf. “What you on about, Warden? Clearly this is a legendary fucking blade. I killed three undead monsters with it...”

“Two and a half, tops,” John interjects, grinning like a loon. It occurs to you that maybe he's a bit smarter than you thought. “I'm pretty sure I remember Rose totally obliterating the last guy. And oh, yeah, two of them weren't actually undead anyway! This is just bullshit!”

“No, it's not,” Dave says calmly, slapping John's hand away as he pokes at the sword hilt. “For all you know I got it from a dragon's horde. Just crept right up in there while the big magical death lizard was sleeping. I'm the hero from one of your cheesy stories, John, it's me.”

“Oh, yeah?” says John, folding his arms. “Did you fight the dragon, Dave? Or did you steal the sword?”

“Who do you think you're talking to, dude?” asks your brother, smirk pulling at the corner of his mouth again. “It was a lady dragon. I totally seduced the fuck outta her.”

“Eww, Dave!”

“Seriously, man, I swear on my best pair of boots. She shapeshifted into the hottest mother you ever saw, kinda scaly but all woman, and bro, I tapped that. Shit was epic; mountains moved, earth shattered, just fucking for days on end. I would've died from exhaustion if it wasn't for my incredible manly stamina and porking skills. We just kept going until she was too exhausted for more. Got the sword for services rendered.”

Rose raised an eyebrow. “I find it interesting that you find the need to construct tales in which your conquer your adversaries sexually.”

“Who says it's a tale?” Dave replies. “Shit happened, okay? Me and the lady dragon, dancing the horizontal samba. Where the fuck else do you think swords of this impeccable quality come from?”

It's fun to listen to, but Jane has gone the colour of ripe beetroot and you don't really want her to have a brain-storm. “How 'bout a dodgy market stall in Clynemouth? You know, the one that sells the crap that used to belong to dead misers. Unless that was the cheap piece of shit before this one.” Dave gives you a look that screams “traitor!” and you shrug. “Get a better sword, dude,” you tell him. He throws a tuft of grass at you. It lands in the fire. You ignore it and scramble to your feet.

“Where are you going?” Rose asks, watching you curiously. She's an interesting one, the Oracle. You heard about her from her sister, of course, and saw her at public events, but if you're being honest you expected someone more... religious than this girl. You think that given enough time you could like her. As it stands, you don't feel like baring your soul just yet.

“We're still missing someone,” you say, pointing a thumb over your shoulder to your caravan. After a moment she nods. You decide that you can probably leave your unruly companions to themselves for a few minutes without everything exploding and excuse yourself politely, tipping an imaginary hat to the ladies and raising an obscene salute to Dave before heading back towards your caravan. When you poke your head in, the lump on your bed shifts and moans an indistinct complaint. You roll your eyes behind the carnival mask that already sits securely on your face. Like you haven't spent a lifetime dealing with Dave's bullshit; this chick isn't even being original.

"Come on, sweetcheeks," you say, plonking yourself down on the side of the bed and lounging against the wall. "We got a big day, and your presence is required to be up, active and hopefully not butt-naked."

Her head turns from its nest of bedding and a sly pink eye regards you. "Oh, REELY?" she asks, waggling the eyebrow you can see suggestively. You slap away the hand that creeps playfully across the bedclothes towards you, but the way the blanket slips lets you know that yup, she really isn't wearing jack shit under there. The level of your surprise does not even twitch up from zero.

"I'm serious, Rox," you say, not letting a hint of either amusement or impatience show on your face. "Just because we didn't make an expeditious retreat into the dark woods full of lurking danger last night doesn't mean this right here is the safest seat in the house. Or did you forget our new admirers?"

The girl sighs and sits up. You are treated to a completely spectacular view that is sadly utterly wasted on you. Like the gentleman you are, you grab the blanket and hold it up until she takes it to cover whatever declining fragments of modesty she has left. She pouts at you.

"I d'know, you're kinda makin' a girl feel unwanted, Dirky," she says, fluttering her eyelashes.

"Roxy, you have a truly spectacular set of tits," you inform her, deadpan as you lean back against the caravan again. "On tits like those are empires founded and for them cities might well burn. You take it from me, because I know the stories; for tits like that, legendary heroes go and pull some truly apeshit schemes and outright bananas stunts."

Roxy sighs and seems to fold over herself. "But not you?"

You don't smile, but you reassuringly pat a foot under the blanket. "Never me," you agree. "And probably not John, either. Show him those and the poor kid'll have a fucking heart attack. I'm guessing you don't want to be solely responsible for his untimely, if deliriously happy, demise."

She tilts her head and looks at you hopefully. "So you thunk I gots a chance?"

"Depends."

"Depends on what?" she asks. You get to your feet and shrug.

"On whether you're dressed and out here before we leave without you."

You duck on the way out the door and the embroidered cushion she flings misses by a mile. You allow yourself a small smile, since who the fuck's going to see? It only lasts a second, vanishing like summer mist as you approach the caravan opposite yours. It's about the same size, but where yours is decorated with red and orange flames this one is covered in scenes of night-time forests and distant cities. Knocking on the door is accompanied by a trepidation that you have only ever felt in the presence of one person. You have no idea how you're going to explain this to her; for a moment you consider just leaving, gathering up your things and clearing out before she has time to realise you're gone.

That's bullshit and you know it. She'd be after you and drag you back to tan your hide before you even hit the first crossroads.

The door swings open to reveal a Phooka woman, yellow cat-slit eyes glaring in suspicion until she sees who's on her doorstep. Then her face breaks into a wide smile and you are part of a sudden, enthusiastic embrace that drags you inorexably into the sweet-scented, dark interior of the caravan you once called "home".

"So, you decided to take some time away from your friends to visit your old guardian, huh?" she chuckles. You snort. By aasimar standards Desta might have been around a while, but no elf would call the woman who raised you old. She turns away and starts rustling through pots and pans in the back; you spend the time helpfully folding away one of the beds. You've just settled down on the resulting bench as she manages to triumphantly produce not only a kettle, but a pitcher of water. She pours the latter into the former and settles down next to you, fake golden charms jangling softly as she mutters under her breath and places a hand to the kettle. The metal starts to glow with heat.

"You know, we could light a fire," you say, although you know it's pointless. "I mean, we already fucking did. It's right outside, just over there. You want to go use it?"

"Shoosh, brat," she says, a wily grin taking the sting out of her words. "I'm older and wiser than you, and I can waste my gods-given magic however I please. And I am currently pleased by tea with my boy."

"Okay, we can have magic tea," you say, leaning back on the bench and wedging your feet against her leg. She laughs and swats at you.

"Scoundrel," she scolds, and you salute her in acknowledgement of the praise. As she works, you lie there for what seems like an age, watching as she bends over the kettle and the red heat of the metal around her hands reflects onto her hair. Normally it's as golden as yours- she always said that was why she first noticed you and Dave, two aasimar babies with her hair colour alone and crying on the roadside. In the dim caravan, the red glow makes it flickering orange, a flame shifting with every breath and small shuffle she makes on the seat. Her skin glows the same rich colour, hardly a surprise as it's the same fucking shade as her hair. All wild elves are made that way; it took you years when you were young to question why you and your brother didn't look like the other Phooka. You were a smart kid, though; you worked out what the differences meant real fucking quick.

She looks the same as she did then, and although you manage to keep it from your face you feel a sharp dart of pain in your heart. You're going to die long before she does. Long before most of your people, really, but that's not the issue here. What bothered you- still does, if you're honest- is that for every year you grow up, get older, she ages maybe half that. She's more an older sister than a mother, these days. One day she'll be a younger sister, and after that... you try not to think about it often.

"Tea's ready!" she says, turning to you with a bright smile, and you sit up, grabbing a cup for the herbal brew and putting your worries about the future on the shelf in order to take down a totally different set of unrelated worries. All things considered, these ones are probably bigger. They're certainly a shit-ton more cataclysmic.

"So, I gotta rap about something with you," you say, keeping it cool. _No biggie, Des, me and Dave are just going to get our asses handed to us on some crazy quest right outta an epic ballad..._

"Mhm," she says, topping up your cup with a completely inscrutable smile. That unreadable shit's a Phooka thing. With anyone else you just put on your stoniest mask and meet them stare for stare. For Desta, you break.

It doesn't take long to lay it out for her, the basics that you know. You tell her brusquely, matter-of-fact, and she listens in the same vein; nodding, sipping her tea, smiling faintly. You're delivering the data, not telling a story, and you're not quite sure if you're asking for permission or offering up an explanation.

When you finish she carefully sets down her cup, takes your face in her hands, and plants a gentle kiss on your forehead.

“My brave boys,” she says, and there are tears in her eyes. “I always knew you were meant for great things.”

You sigh. “That's a normal feeling for a guardian, Des. No shit, I'm glad you have that much faith in us, but we were just in the right place at the right time. It's luck, nothing more.”

Desta takes one of her hands from your face to rest it on your right shoulder. “That's not true,” she says, and the humour that she always wears is gone. “Dirk, when I did the ceremony of souls for you and Dave, I learned more than your names.”

You frown, the mask hiding the furrow of your brown from sight but not, you know, from the senses of a guardian. “What do you mean?”

She keeps the one hand on your shoulder, squeezing the spot where your birthmark lurks under your shirt, and uses the other to stroke your cheek. “Strider,” she says in a whisper, and the sound of your true name, your soul's name, makes a cold shiver run across your skin. “When I heard that, when I touched your deepest self... Dirk, your birthmarks shone, red and orange, light as bright as the sun.” She pauses. “You know what they are.”

There is no way you could know Roxy and not be aware of the Aasimar gods, or what meaning the celestial race would place on you and Dave. Phooka have different gods, and you never saw a need to mention it to anyone.

“I know,” you say.

“They're not a coincidence,” Desta tells you, and you nod because you think you knew that all along. Her cheeks are wet and you aren't really sure what to do about that, because your guardian is crying and Des doesn't cry. She laughs, or she gets even.

“It's okay,” you tell her, and to your surprise she grabs you and buries her face in your collarbone.

“I'm going to lose you!” she sobs, and it's only basic fucking compassion to wrap your arms around her and rub a soothing hand on her back. “Gods, I'm so fucking stupid! I knew... I knew this was going to happen...”

Her words dissolve into tears and you don't say anything. You're pretty sure that at this point, you can only make things worse. Instead you sit and you wait patiently until your guardian can once again raise her head and look at you, warm eyes watery with grief.

“Go,” she says, and her voice is as firm as it ever was. “Go on. You've been an adult for years now, your brother too, and it's more than time I accepted it. You have my promise to explain things to the clan, and my blessing for your journey.”

You kiss the top of her head. “It's not forever, Des,” you say, and you can feel the disbelief she doesn't voice as you stand. “I'll send Dave over before we go,” you say, and she nods. It feels wrong to turn away and leave her like this... but the longer you wait, the more chance that you'll bring danger down on your people. You push open the door and step into sunlight. Your body weighs a preposterous amount as you start back towards the campfire and your new kin.

“Dirk!”

You turn back to see Des standing in the doorway, tearstained but smiling as she waves to you.

“Be who you truly are!” she calls, and your heart feels so warm that for an instant you smile back. Then she vanishes inside, and you resume your journey feeling oddly lighter, if pensive.

You can see that Dave appears to be waxing lyrical once again, but it's only as you get closer that you hear what he's saying. All of a sudden the world rights itself as the sheer ridiculousness of the situation hits you.

“So we got a knight and a princess, epic story, pretty sweet- but to get this tale kickin' then these lovebirds gotta meet. This is gold, shit be sold, gettin' piled in a heap; and you know that's where this dragon's gonna get his beauty sleep.”

John is watching with rapt attention, and you're not sure who seems more amused- Rose, or Roxy. You note that the latter has acquired a bottle of wine from somewhere and is busily downing it in complete disregard for the potential dangers of being absolutely fuck-faced if and when you are next attacked. She has also, you note, left the top couple of buttons of her blouse undone and is making every effort to “wonk” at young Master Warden. He remains predictably oblivious.

“So I'm sleeping on my treasure in a cave above the town, when I kinda get to thinking that it's time for...” Dave breaks off and pauses expectantly. John chews his lower lip thoughtfully- and _shit_ , that is pretty cute. Shame he freaked out so bad last time you kissed him. You don't think you've got much of a shot there, even if it wouldn't be a critical betrayal of bro-code to snipe the guy Roxy's got her eye on.

“... chowing down?” John says after a long moment, and Dave gives a quick nod.

“Okay, good rhyme, dude. But you gotta keep the rhythm going. Can't stop this shit halfway through; premature poetic ejaculation is off the cards if we want this shit to get off the handle.”

By your estimations, there is an apeshit bananas chance that John is going to continue sucking hairy balls at this. You cast another glance at Roxy, still vainly trying to get the guy's attention, and decide to kill three birds with one stone. One sexy Strider stone.

The others glance your way as you approach, of course. Even Jane from her place a little off to the side spares a glower. John looks a little more taken aback when you drop down next to him, and graduates to utterly uncomfortable when you lie down and settle your head comfortably on his lap like it's the most natural place in the world- elven laps, the only pillow for the discerning Phooka aasimar.

“Kinda busy here, bro,” says Dave after a moment, and you can hear the faint testiness buried behind the casual delivery. _Why are you messing up my shit?_

You wave a negligent hand towards your guardian's caravan. “Just talked to Des,” you say. “She wants to say bye.” Rather than put the hand back on the ground, you use it to trail along John's jawline, elf-smooth and not half bad, either. Oh well. All the best jokes have a hint of truth to them anyway, and you figure stealing his audience isn't bad revenge for Dave boring you to tears with his bragging earlier.

“I can keep John here occupied while you're gone,” you practically purr, letting your eyelashes flutter a little. You have never been dumped on the ground so fast in your life.

“Um I'm so sorry!” John yelps, standing over you and wavering in concern. “But I was just, ha! I wasn't really... oh, boy.” He looks across at the others; you see Rose tilt her head a little, but otherwise he gets no response. The elf boy looks back down at you fiddling with his fingers. “Dude, I'm really sorry,” he says, and holy fucking shit he actually does sound sorry too. “But I'm not a homosexual.”

He looks kind of devastated by that, actually- like he's scared that he might actually break your heart or some shit like that. You know better, of course.

“It's okay, man,” you tell him, and some of the panic recedes, although he's still blushing bright red. You'll admit that he's attractive, and you're mildly disappointed, but nothing worse. You're not fucking retarded enough to fall head over heels for a guy you barely even know. You don't know if it makes you eminently sensible or a hopeless romantic, but you've always figured love for something that grows over time and binds people ever closer together rather than an arrow that strikes in an instant and can only fade.

Like your love for Roxy, for example. Hopefully she's sober enough to take advantage of this huge emotional opening you just pried open for her...

“... where the fuck is Roxy?” you ask, looking at the empty space where your drunken dipshit of a soul-sister was sitting moments ago.

After a few minutes of frantic scrambling and calling, you catch sight of a glimpse of white at the edge of the forest. You all run over to see Frigglish mewing and butting against Roxy, who is standing on tiptoes with her arms wrapped around one of the low-hanging branches of a really tall tree. As you draw closer, one of her feet slips and she lands on the roots with a oof, narrowly avoiding landing on her familiar.

“What the fuck are you doing?” you ask, at the same time as Rose says, “Is this not somewhat excessive even by your standards, sister dear?”

Roxy giggles and waves a hand in the air. “I'm gonna... climma treeee,” she sings, off-key. You sigh, and are about to go and help her up when a thought strikes. You turn to John, half-hiding behind your brother but still very much present, and nod towards your fallen comrade.

“Hey, Warden, you gonna give the lady a hand up?” you ask. For a moment he looks startled, then blushes again.

“Oh, yeah!” he says, darting forwards and past you to crouch beside your buddy. He grabs her hand and is clearly trying to slip it around his shoulders to help her up, but Roxy has other ideas. As soon as her hand is in position she pulls him down into a sloppy but decidedly passionate kiss. On her end, at least- John really looks more surprised than anything else.

Eventually, even Roxy's attempts to emulate a facehugging monster from the depths of the earth come to an end, and she falls back onto the mossy bark with a wide, self-satisfied smile.

“You... I relly, reeuly like you,” she says, trying to poke John in the chest and missing. As the boy stares at her in surprise, she closes her eyes and snuggles back into the root. “You're _hawt._ ”

You sigh and look over at Dave. There is no need for words; a single nod and he's off, heading back to talk to Des and get the caravan ready to set out.

It takes another half an hour to get everyone's shit together and move out. You walk beside Maplehoof, guiding her, as Roxy lies on the driver's seat and plays with Frigglish. The air is clear, the sun is warm, and the forest whispers around you as you leave civilisation behind and turn your small progression towards the depths of the Greenweald. Your shoulder itches; most likely an illusion of the mind, a reaction to the sense of destiny that sits uneasily within you.

From behind, you can just make out Rose interrogating John as to the precise meaning behind his choice to use the phrase “not a homosexual” rather than any other expression. Does he have some problem with homosexuality? Could he be denying something? Such a curiously specific phrase- is he perhaps bisexual, or some other preference? No? Is he sure that is not simply more denial?

You remember the old Phooka proverb, _family is where you find it,_ and decide that if this is what you have found then you could have done considerably worse.  


### Suggestions Used

 _LostSock_ – Dirk: Have a chapter in your POV because you haven't had a turn yet.

 _WhiteTiger1221_ – Dave: Gloat over your kills, engage in banter with John

 _WhiteTiger1221_ – John: Engage in banter with Dave. Be really excited

 _Ms Arano_ – Dirk: Explain to your clan the crazy priestess's plan to go to Starspire.

 _Asuka Kureru_ – Dave == > try to teach John the noble and ancient art of slam poetry.

 _LostSock_ – Dirk or Dave: Also, rap about dragons.

 _WhiteTiger1221_ – Roxy: Flirt unironically. Realize that drinking could be a liability on this mission, fail to care.

 _WhiteTiger1221_ – Dirk: Flirt ironically. Plan way to get revenge for your brothers gloating

 _unholygrunt_ – Dirk: Keep flirting with John, ironically of course.

 _Silverkyo_ – John: Emphasize how you're not a homosexual and satisfy this 4th wall breaking meme joke before people beg

 _Asuka Kureru_ – Roxy == > climb a REALLY TALL tree.

 _Ephemeral_Dreamer_ – Roxy == > Seduce John.

 _Silverkyo_ – Roxy: Go get your mac on that hot defending gentleman

 _ttdOOOO_ – Rose's Group: Be on your way

 _Ephemeral_Dreamer_ – Rose: Your position is obviously no longer safe. Leave as fast as possible.

### System Notes

 **Attempting to climb a REALLY TALL tree with plenty of branches while drunk = DC17**  
Roxy's climb check = 4  
ROXY FAILS UTTERLY TO CLIMB THE TREE.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There were many interpersonal interaction suggestions. I used what I could; there are still enough left and waiting for another chapter, I reckon. Adding a tag for Dirk & Roxy to the story now, since I appear to have paled them up here. Ho hum.
> 
> Also, how to respond to a discussion in the comments thread over the phrase “not a homosexual”? Why, immediately start planning to see how many of the other person's valid points I can remember and put in Rose's mouth, of course.
> 
> Dear person whose name I forget and is buried deeper than the Balrog in my inbox- I wished to give your points to Rose as they were valid and she is smart. I regret only not having the time or the space for a full discussion of the matter in the story. Thank you!
> 
> EDIT: The person was Ryo Hoshi. Thanks Ryo!
> 
> EDIT 2:  
> Moved the notes from the top of the chapter to the bottom.


	22. ==> Jake: Be The Messenger. Intrigue is afoot!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Hero point votes:**  
>  Dirk 1

## ==> Jake: Be The Messenger. Intrigue is afoot!

Karkat forgot to mention that it's pitch dark in the slave tunnels.

According to the foul-mouthed drow chappie, the narrow corridors run under or along or through most of the house. Except house isn't really the world at all for the miniature village you've got yourself trapped in- you thought the Great Clanhall was big, but by gum these Dark Elves don't hold back when they want to build impressively! Apparently the whole fortress belongs to Gamzee's family, some bigwig noble lineage. You tried to listen but by that point the amount you'd had to take in was frankly astounding and you kind of zoned out for a bit.

Point was, these tunnels could get you anywhere in the place without being seen, which was proving jolly useful right now! Although worrying, too, with some pesky assassin on the loose. Karkat had let out more than a few choice words when he found out that nobody was watching the entrances near Gamzee; personally you think it's just as well the Lawkeepers don't seem to have thought of them, or else you'd all be completely buggered. As it is you have a decent shot at getting to this Terezi woman without anyone asking you precisely why you would want to do such a thing.

Of course, as soon as you'd got a few hundred feet away from the thick tapestry that hid the tunnel and blocked the draft, you had realised you couldn't see a bloody thing and turned back. A rapid hunt of Gamzee's room had turned up nothing that would make a serviceable torch. The place was lit by glowing crystals that were both bloody impressive works of magic and damned well secured to the wall. Unless you started destroying furnishings and clothes, there was nothing to be done, and Karkat had promised you that if the damage was spotted "both of our sorry dicklicking asses are going to regret it, Quartzkin."

You'd told him your clan name after he'd started saying the first syllable of your truename, halfway through the explanation that you still can't quite believe. You'd thought it all so much hogswash as first, until your new comrade had rolled his eyes in exasperation and started to rattle off the names of your siblings- and one or two others they mentioned in their letters besides. You still aren't sure which is more astounding to you; that some otherwise unremarkable drow in the deeps was dreaming about you and your kinfolk, or that you are all most likely marked with some sort of divine symbol! Not that your brother and sisters ever mentioned anything of the sort in your communiques, but that doesn't make it implausible- after all, you never bothered to write it down either.

All your father ever had to say about your birthmark was that it was "elf nonsense, boy, nothing for you to fuss over." Your mother would smile and shake her head, and your siblings would tease, and in the end it never mattered until right now. Gamzee explained his mark to you, and Karkat's. It was all a bit garbled, but although you're no expert on any religion- not even the Smithlord you grew up with, not really- you got the impression that the Gods that marked them aren't really supposed to be the most upstanding and pleasant of sorts. None of you know much about what God your mark could be for, so you aren't going to bother overly about it just yet. Your new allies are a pair of funny onions and no mistake, but neither of them strikes you as being so terrible as the Gods they're associated with. You don't see how any daft old divine symbol is going to change you, no matter how bloody strange it is to have on your skin.

This Terezi woman, though- her mark is an altogether different matter. To tell the truth, you aren't so certain she'll help as Karkat is, and you think you even caught Gamzee looking dubious as the shorter drow insisted on enlisting her aid. But you don't exactly have a fat platter of options here; if you do nothing, you're stuck with the noblewoman who collared you at the centre of a religious war- assuming the assassins don't succeed before then, in which case you'll most likely either be dead or wishing you were in short order. Karkat seems to think this Lawkeeper knows a way out of the city, and you know better than anyone that when it comes to adventure it's nothing ventured, nothing gained.

Given that Karkat has met the lady you're looking for, knows how to navigate these blasted tunnels, and can actually see in the dark, it might really have been better if he made this trip. But gods damn it, when you saw how happy Gamzee was to have him there and how tightly Karkat was clinging on, you'd have had to have been a cad of the lowest order to demand that they split up for this. Especially since there was apparently some trouble earlier and they're both sure that Karkat is in everyone's bad books right about now.

"Anyone who's breathing in this place wants to make both of us suffer agonies the like of which have never before been seen," Karkat had said, cuddling up against his- friend? you're not sure, although you're quite certain they aren't really brothers- as they settled back into the pile of trance cushions. "And since this stupid assmunch is officially off-limits, that means they'll just do it to me twice. So I'm staying here where it's at least approximately in pissing distance of safe, and you're going out to find the crazy Lawkeeper bitch."

Which is how you wound up stumbling about in a darkness so deep that closing your eyes might actually make things a little lighter. One of your hands is trailing on the wall, and you are treading very carefully. Let nobody say that you haven't learned your lesson about stumbling uselessly around in the dark. Occasionally you hear footsteps, feel someone brush past you in the narrow tunnel; the first few times it happened you nearly jumped clean out of your skin, until you heard someone snickering at your frightened yelp. You're not the only slave down here, just the only one who can't bloody see.

You get used to the unseen encounters pretty fast, if you say so yourself. After a couple of tries you manage to grab someone and as they try to wriggle free you demand directions. Repeating the process a few times you arrive in a tunnel where the scent of incense permeates the air and the stones under your hands are old and rough. Your fingers run out of wall, fall into an alcove and brush woven cloth. You step into it, pulling the tapestry aside and peeking out before you accidentally stride into something you shouldn't. The light in the room beyond is dim, supplied by flickering candles whose fire melts into the curling smoke. There are no less than five guards in the large chapel, which looks more like a full-out High Temple to you but then you've already come to realise that Gamzee's family don't like to settle for second best. You may not be gifted with darkvision, but your eyes are more than good enough to pick up that three of the armed watchers are in teal, which you are told means Lawkeeper.

From what Karkat and Gamzee say, the latter will be getting married in this room at some point late today. Neither of them seem too happy about it, but when you suggested trying to leave they gave you a look that made you shut your mouth a dashed sight faster than you'd opened it. Then again, who can fathom a people who go around enslaving a chap who's just got himself into a spot of bother? Not to mention marrying folks off against their will, or trying to assassinate them because of an objection to the aforementioned nuptual arrangements. Doesn't make a blind bit of sense to you but you suppose it must be normal around here.

When you get home, you are going to have one humdinger of a story to tell!

First, though, you have to avoid any untoward questions about what you might be doing here. Fortunately all five of the guards are clustered down the far end near the chapel entrance, failing utterly to consider the slave tunnels. It all seems like a massive flaw in security to you- no Clanhold would ever be built with such a weakness, and even if hidden tunnels were added the designers would have to be completely addle-pated not to add some defences against unwanted intrusion! Why, you knew the safe passage of more than twenty traps before you even turned ten! Somewhat more relevant right now are the many, many occasions on which you avoided bullies and boneheads hell-bent on giving you a thrashing by staying quiet and out of the way.

Compared to half a dozen actively malicious dwarven adolescents, even heavily armoured drow aren't all that perturbing. You're starting to get used to the stark contrast of ink-black skin and snow-white hair, and without that shock all you can see are a group of adults sitting about chatting and guarding and mostly being bored out of their wits. It takes an effort to remind yourself that if they catch sight of you it could get a good sight worse than a thrashing. Maybe they'd ignore you as beneath their notice, or maybe they'd be worried about damaging the Lady Yetenekli's property. Karkat had a great deal to say to you before you began this little excursion on the subject of "maybe" and how it pertains to your current station. Suffice to say that after his erudite and colourful warnings, you won't be trusting your safety to any "maybes" unless there is absolutely no other option available.

You wait until all of the guards are facing away from you to slip out into the chapel, thick drapes of blue and green cloth forcing your hand away from the comfort of the rough stone wall. None of the shades match the deep velvety midnight colour of your tunic, or the bright silver of the mithral over it, and you keep your head down and move fast in the hopes of getting by without notice. You tread carefully and whatever small sound your steps might make are swallowed by intricately woven rugs; as you pass the halfway mark behind an altar covered in offerings of gold and silver and precious stones you risk a glance over at the still-oblivious guards. For a moment you feel a pang of homesickness as you remember the manner of offerings left at the foot of the Smithlord's Forge- finely wrought swords, copper shields as smooth as glass, decorated rifles that could still pick off a cavebat from a hundred yards distant- and wonder what sort of god would have any use for jewels and gilded toys.

Then one of the guards looks around and you drop, crouching behind the altar with your heart pounding in your ears and accidentally yanking the altar cloth as you go. Upset by your grabbing hands, a glimmering golden chalice inset with sapphires teeters alarmingly then overbalances. Bright metal flashes in your vision and the world seems to slow as it plummets to the hard stone floor. Frantic, you grab it a few fractions of an inch away from disaster, and hold the priceless goblet perfectly still, unable to breathe as you wait for the inevitable demand to _show yourself, slave!_ Gods damn it all, you were doing so well, too!

Then you hear laughter from over by the door, the chatter of the guards in their dark elven tongue rising and falling as normal, and you breathe out all in a rush as you realise you're okay. It's a bloody miracle you weren't spotted, but the coast is clear and you don't feel like looking this particular gift horse in the mouth. A cautious peek over the top of the altar confirms that nobody's looking your way. You take a moment to set the blasted cup back with its fellows- one of a matched set, all equally gaudy, crass and useless- and play it safe by crawling the next few feet in cover before making a mad dash to the far side of the room.

The door you went through all these ridiculous shenanigans to reach is small and modest by the standards of the rest of the chamber, set in a small recess and framed by thick curtains a slightly different shade of teal than the rest of the decor. Normally you'd be a mite more hesitant before intruding on a lady, particularly one who might kill you for bothering her, but after what you've just gone through you yank the door open and dart in like the Lord of Regulus herself was after you.

It's only after you've put your back to the solid, comforting weight of the worked metal door that you notice your audience.

The first thing that springs to mind when you see the Drow woman is that she's pointier than Gamzee, and the second thing is how that isn't really true. It's the way she holds herself that makes you think of sharp angles and razor edges, written in every line of her, from the way her cheeks fold around her disturbingly wide grin to the arch her fingers make on the table she has pushed up against the opposite wall. When she moves, unfolding up out of her chair in a single predatory motion, you can't help shrinking further back into the solid metal at your back. She moves like a bat, like a lizard, like someone who's not only never had a doubt in their life but probably wouldn't understand the concept even if you tried to explain it to her.

She's wearing blue leather and startlingly red eyeglasses and she leans in far too close, trapping you in place with a hand that rests against the door. You look at her, sleek and deadly and inches from your face, and you do the first thing that comes to mind. You grin right back at her.

"Good morning!" you say cheerily. "Would I be right in assuming that you are Prelate Lawkeeper Terezi?"

The Drow woman tilts her head and you swear her impossible smirk grows a little wider. "Would I be right in assuming that you're in trouble if I'm not?" She leans in a little closer and- is she _sniffing your hair?_

If there's one thing you learned from your father's stories it's that a hero doesn't panic, even if he is being faced with morally questionable hair-sniffing clergy. "Well, it would be rather an embarrassing gaffe," you admit with a wry shrug. "But as you're a dead ringer for the description Karkat gave, I'm inclined to think I'm not in any real bother."

She pulls back to study you, smile fading and leaving behind a face that is altogether too calculating for you to feel safe around. After a few moments, she drops her hand and spins, striding back to her impromptu desk and slumping into her chair to regard you with an inscrutable glare. You try to return it steadily, but since you can't see anything behind those eyeglasses you're at a sizeable disadvantage. Pretty soon your gaze drops, and despite your most stoic efforts you begin to fidget. To your annoyance, the blasted woman doesn't say a word- she just sits there and stares at you patiently until you want to shake her, scream in her face, do anything just to make her react.

"My name's Jake," you blurt, suddenly remembering something from the middle section of an extensive introduction to creative profanity. "Karkat said I should tell you my name, and that you were right, and that I have a... a birthmark between my shoulders." The stocky Drow had also added something about keeping you if she wanted to stare at it, but you decide not to repeat that part.

She still says nothing, but her fingers drum a short tattoo on the book she was reading before you entered. You glance at it, see the rough bindings and a glimpse of tight-packed writing, and leap straight to a conclusion.

"Is that Karkat's journal?"

"Why are you here?" she asks, not even glancing at the tome. You swallow nervously; this is the most dangerous part of your mission, because there's no telling how she'll respond to what you say next.

"Someone tried to poison Gamzee," you say, and you don't miss the way she stiffens. It's gone before she turns, but the reaction gives you enough courage to go on. "Karkat thinks- that is, it does seem like it could be the Temple's doing."

Another inscrutable look, and if it wasn't for the fact that you know there are guards outside you would already be running.

"Is it a wing?" she asks. It takes you a moment to realise what she means, and then you nod, confused. Suddenly her face breaks back into a radiant, knife-edged grin. It looks no less worrisome than her more serious face and you start as she darts forward and grabs you by the chin.

"I say, steady on!" you say. Or try to- your voice comes out a tad muffled as she tugs your head from side to side, studying you with a truly unnerving intensity. Then she releases you and steps back, her smile softening as she walks back over to the ragged journal and flips to a page. She looks back up at you, standing in the middle of the floor, and beckons.

"Come see," she says, and you walk closer to see your birthmark scrawled haphazardly across a page. From here you can also see the other books she has open around it, and you follow her finger as she taps one of them to see a far smaller but more accurate rendition of the shape.

"What in the devil-fucking dickens...?"

"It's the symbol of the Page of Hope," the Lawkeeper says, brushing it with a gentle finger. "One of the sunwalker gods. You don't know him?"

You shake your head. "I'm dwarf-raised," you tell her, and it's hard to keep a hint of pride from your voice. "Don't know a whole lot about this bally elf nonsense."

She cackles at that, sharp and harsh. "The prosecution finds your argument to be flawed, elf," she says, twisting her head so that the breath of her words passes over your neck. It's not unpleasant, but you don't think this is really the time to be getting distracted. You look around at the other books, see them open on various other symbols, and frown.

"So what's all this, then?" you ask. She follows your finger as you point and chuckles again.

"Gods," she says, settling back in her chair. "Half a night of research, but I think I'm onto something." She taps the journal again. "There are fourteen symbols in here, and through tireless investigation and relentless inquisition I found them all."

"Well, that's good, then!" you say. You aren't really sure what's so important about knowing but she seems fairly keen, and besides your mother always said there's no such thing as wasted knowledge.

"Oh, it gets better," the Drow woman says, snickering. "Although since you're not a fan of elf nonsense, I wouldn't expect you to understand."

You blush. "Now you just hold your horses a moment there! I never said I had a problem with it, just that I didn't know much. You're being a little harsh!"

"Only a little?" she replies, eyebrow raising. "Hehe. I'll have to try harder." She smooths the journal page in front of her and you get the sense that she's staring blankly at the paper. "Divine powers exist whether you worship them or not," she says after a moment. "That's one of the first things we learned in the temple- never offend a god you don't plan on fighting."

"Sounds jolly sensible to me."

The harsh bark of her laugh echoes in the tall stone chamber. "Oh, yes. Very sensible," she agrees. "But not everyone is sensible, which is how we know that gods come in different sizes. Some are big, bad, and dangerous." She pauses and turns to look at you. "And others are powerful enough to squash the first kind like annoying bugs."

You swallow, rather glad that you've never really felt a particular religious calling. "And, uh, the fourteen in question?"

"The most powerful," the Lawkeeper says happily. "There's a few references to them as the Celestial and Infernal circles of Heaven, or as the Creator Gods. All heretical texts, of course."

"Of course," you echo. She laughs again, a sound like eggshells breaking.

"They are simply the strongest there is," she tells you. "You, me, Karkat, Gamzee, Kanaya... all of us with marks. We're chosen by the most powerful beings in existence."

A chill runs up your spine as she speaks. You can't say you exactly relish the thought of some god keeping watch on you while you go about your life.

"The one you mentioned for my mark..." you begin, shifting awkwardly beside her.

"The Page of Hope?" she says, looking up at you from her chair. "One of the Celestials. There's not much on them in these books..." she waves a hand across the gathered tomes and shrugs. "... but he doesn't seem too bad from what I can tell. There's a lot about irresponsibility and societal collapse in there, but as far as I can tell he just likes people to make their own decisions." You blink as the full force of her grin turns on you. "Sounds like a pretty fun guy to me."

"Uh, thanks," you say, taking a step back from what might well be a dangerous lunatic. "So, just the fourteen of us, then?"

That seems to put her out of sorts, because she frowns and pokes at the journal like it personally wronged her. "Perhaps. When I looked more closely I found another six names in the journal, but I couldn't match them to any of the gods in the books." She sighs, exhaling fiercely as if the air in her lungs has offended her somehow. "But this can wait. There is a more serious crime to investigate now!"

"There is?" You're having some trouble keeping up with this girl, but by gum is she a pistol!

"Well of course!" she says, getting out of her seat and picking up a long thin cane that had rested against the wall. "It is my job to protect Gamzee from assassins, regardless of who sends them." She turns to face you and although she's smiling you don't think she's anything but deadly serious. "Karkat was right; the temple might well be responsible for this. I need to investigate further, but in the meantime the three of you need to start planning to leave."

"But the collars," you say, gingerly poking at the cold metal around your neck. You may be reckless at times but you've no desire to find out exactly what enchantments are on this thing. "And I rather get the feeling that they'd prefer us to stay put anyway."

The Lawkeeper- Terezi- sighs. "Find a way to get the collars off and I'll think of the rest," she tells you. "If you can't get your hands on the key then a spell of Remove Curse should handle it; either way you'll have to steal something, but Karkles is a thief so he should have some ideas about that."

You nod slowly, seeing the sense in her words. The slave collars might not be cursed jewelry per se but the whole point of curse removal is to detach someone from a magical effect they don't want attached. Of course since you're not a wizard, you have no idea where you would get something like that, so the key is probably a better plan.

You start in surprise when your new co-conspirator grabs you by the wrist and starts dragging you towards the door. "Come on then, Jake Sunwalker," she cackles. "Let's get going! After all, we only have until sundown before Gamzee is a married man."

It takes you a moment to realize her meaning and when you do you stop dead for a moment before she drags you on. If the assassin's aim is to prevent or destroy the alliance between the houses, then you are all running out of time. The thought is sufficiently distracting that you don't even notice you're in the chapel again until the five guards are all jumping to their feet and saluting the Chosen Favourite of the Seer. She doesn't even acknowledge them save for a small nod, leading you past what was earlier a dreadful danger and out into the corridors of House Kutsanmis. Once again you wonder at the poor security- they don't even question that you have appeared seemingly from nowhere.

Once you're out of immediate earshot, Terezi lets go of your wrist and gives you a small shove towards a corridor that looks no different to the others around it.

"Good luck," she whispers, and you nod as you set back out into the depths of the House. Behind you there is a small cough and you turn to see the Lawkeeper wrinkling her nose at the drifting incense from the chapel. She looks thoughtful, as though contemplating her next course of action.

It occurs to you that femme fatale or not, you trust this dame a whole lot more now than you did half an hour ago.  


### Suggestions Used

 _unholygrunt –_ Karkat: Find a way to send a message to Terezi about assassins.

 _WhiteTiger1221 –_ Gamzee: Be ecstatic that you're back together with your bro. Know passing knowledge of Terezi due to knowing about Karkat's visions.

 _MASK –_ Karkat: Exposition time! (because naming his dreambuddies will likely strike a chord with jake, helping loop the group into more overarching plot shit).

 _WhiteTiger1221 –_ Karkat: Nothing much for you to do now, except trust that the insane law-keeper can figure something out. Explain about how Terezi can help and also protect Gamzee from assassinations.

 _jadescribe –_ Jake: get brought up on exactly what you've fallen (been kidnapped) into and wonder at the strangeness of drow politics, as explained by one who was high most of the time and one whose expletives make up a good part of his sentences.

 _WhiteTiger1221 –_ Jake: Continue to be extraordinarily competent, listen to exposition.

 _ttdOOOO –_ Terezi: Read diary, note similarities to other, non-godmarked people you know (unless you've decided against your NPC idea).

 _WhiteTiger1221 –_ Terezi: Use your cunning and guile to find out how to remove the collars. 

_LostSock –_ Terezi: Cough in comedic fashion from smoke and contemplate your next course of action.

 **Special Assignment (Ongoing):**  
 _unholygrunt -_ Everyone should fall in love with Jake and he promptly falls in love with a ghost.

 _ttdOOOO –_ Everybody that makes sense: Be attracted to [Jake] at first sight. I find that as hilarious a running gag as Roxy trying to get in [John's] pants.

### System Notes

 **Sneaking around the edge of the chapel without being spotted: Opposed Stealth VS Perception Check**  
Jake's stealth check = 22 VS Lawkeeper perception checks = 5 (NATURAL 1)  
Jake's stealth check = 22 VS Kutsanmis guard perception check = 8  
Jake's stealth check = 22 VS Yetenekli guard perception check = 10  
JAKE SNEAKS PAST ALL OF THE GUARDS IN THE CHAPEL SUCCESSFULLY.

 **Researching the significance of the information in the Karkat's Journal, with the help of various religious texts = DC10/15/20**  
Terezi's knowledge religion check = 15  
TEREZI LEARNS THAT THERE ARE FOURTEEN "REAL" GODS WHOSE SYMBOLS CORRESPOND TO THE MAIN GODMARKS SHOWN IN THE JOURNAL, AND THAT THEY ARE DIVIDED INTO THE CELESTIAL AND INFERNAL DEITIES. SHE DOES NOT IDENTIFY THE OTHER SIX SYMBOLS OR NAMES.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Right, sorry this is a bit late, but I have been knackered for the past few weeks. Next week is just gonna be setting-building update for that very reason, so I have time to do other stuff. Which I know I won't really, but eh.
> 
> Now, I had a comment this week which highlights something I think I should mention- voting for Hero Points. The lovely UDMonk said that they couldn't really vote for Hero Points as no “hero-in” had been done, only “story-in”. I suspect that many of you feel this way.
> 
> I feel the opposite.
> 
> Seriously. If you just vote for characters who are awesome in combat, then you are voting for the characters who got good dice rolls. If I wanted to assign Hero Points randomly, I would use a random number generator 1-14 bada bing bada boom. This is meant to replace the “good roleplay award” aspect of hero points, and while I admit I'm not sure quite how that translates here I am sure it has more to do with “story-in” than “hero-in”.
> 
> In other words, characters EARN hero points for being interesting, fulfilling personal goals, and making meaningful choices. They SPEND them to be awesome in combat. I can't stop you from voting for the ones who rolled well or spent Hero Points to be amazing, but I can feel a little sad when you do, and I can kick myself for somehow implying that this is how it's meant to happen.
> 
> I would also like to thank ttd0000 for letting me edit their suggestion, MASK for helping me with Pathfinder stuff behind the scenes, and everyone for reading, commenting, and engaging with what I write!
> 
> You guys are the best readers. It is you. :)
> 
> EDIT:  
> Moved the notes from the top of the chapter to the bottom.


	23. -- THE WITCH OF SPACE --

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Hero point votes:**  
>  Dirk 2  
> Kanaya 1  
> Sollux 1  
> Roxy 1  
> Gamzee 1  
> Terezi 1  
> DIRK GAINS 1 HERO POINT!  
> Voting now open for the next Hero Point award: one person will get one after three chapters.

## THE WITCH OF SPACE

[](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/8hc1qyj74xuv8qv/Witch%20of%20Space.png?dl=0)   
_Green Lady, Nightbringer, the Gardener, the World Maker_

ALIGNMENT: Neutral Good

PORTFOLIO: Nature, Night, Magic, Creation

DOMAINS: Magic (Divine), Travel (), Plant (), Dream*, Animal (Fur), Void (Stars)

FAVOURED WEAPON: Musket [Defaults to Longbow]

THE WITCH OF SPACE is a goddess of things that live and grow, trustee of a font of power deeper than mortal minds can conceive and mistress of all the wonders of the universe.

HISTORY  
Sunny and cheerful one minute, full of vengeful fury the next, tales of the Witch paint her as changing and unpredictable as the weather. Although consistently benevolent to others, she is said to not tolerate the foolish and the rude. She is generally credited as the creator of the world, and as its most powerful protector.

PANTHEONS AND RELATIONSHIPS  
The Witch of Space appears in the worship of three different pantheons as well as individually.

In the PANTHEON OF LIGHT, she is the sister of the HEIR OF BREATH, a close friend of both the SEER OF LIGHT and the KNIGHT OF TIME, and often works closely with the PAGE OF HOPE. She is the patron of farmers and woodsmen, and in tales of the pantheon she is usually the one to save the day by magical means. Her divine strength is often shown as being greater than that of the other gods, but restrained from harm by her kindly nature.

As one of the RULERS OF HEAVEN, she is again related to the HEIR OF BREATH and friends with the other two deities. In this pantheon she takes on the mantle of teacher and guide, and her connection to sleep and dreams is of greater import; although she is still the World Maker, her divine powers are not so all-encompassing.

Within the HOLY TRIAD, she is one of three equal deities along with the HEIR OF BREATH, who is once again her brother, and the KNIGHT OF TIME, who still smiles for her. In this pantheon she is the navigator of the heavens, the one who carries the world on her shoulders with a laugh and delivers travellers safely home.

Alone, she is generally considered to be the nature goddess in all the temperamental glory that implies. She is generally acknowledged- if not worshipped- by Druids the world over, and most farmers will know at least one of her names.

Rarely is she an antagonist to other pantheons or deities, but on the few occasions it happens she is depicted as irrational, unreliable, or scatterbrained in the extreme. Her relationship with the KNIGHT OF BLOOD is one of mutual caring irritation, with both of them making appearances as alternately obstacles and helpers for the other.

APPEARANCE AND EMISSARIES  
The Witch of Space is most often depicted as a dark-haired aasimar or a Hodekin with brilliant green eyes, whose dress and hood are made from the night sky itself. Often images will show her either sleeping, or holding various planar spheres (including the prime material) floating in the palm of her hand. She is often either shown with a large white dog or wolf, or with slight canine characteristics- such as doglike ears, or a tail.

SERVANTS  
Dogs, wolves, and other canines have the favour of the Witch of Space, although she remains fond of all animals born of nature. Frogs are also particularly sacred to her.

_The White Hound_  
Some say this great white canine is a servant of the goddess; others, that it is she herself, transformed. Whatever the case may be, this mysterious being only appears to those who have the deity's favour, and protects them in their hour of greatest need.

_The First Guardian_  
Deep in the heart of the Whispering Forest lives the leader of the Guardian Order, a Druid that some say has lived for millennia through regenerative magic- shedding their old form for a young, healthy body each time age creeps up. Perhaps because of this the exact nature of this Druid is unclear- species, age, even gender are different from story to story. The one constant is their animal companion, a pure white and eyeless owl, which is said to have strange and terrible powers of its own.

CHURCH  
Temples of the Witch exist throughout the world, in the beating hearts of great cities and in the lost valleys of ancient forests. Those that follow a pantheon generally report to the primary temple of that pantheon- Porthaven for the PANTHEON OF LIGHT, Madianzi for the RULERS OF HEAVEN, and Hintta for the HOLY TRIAD. Her solo temples are usually maintained by lone druids or clerics, who consider their effort well spent if they can bring one apprentice to appreciate the beauty of their goddess and her creation.

WORSHIPPERS AND CLERGY  
Clerics of the Witch of Space are Neutral Good, Lawful Good, Chaotic Good, or True Neutral.

Followers of the Witch are generally farmers, woodsmen, astrologers and scholars of nature- those who appreciate and learn about the world around them, and have a sense for the brutal harmony the goddess provides.

The clergy of the Witch are ordinarily Druids, Rangers and Clerics. She will occasionally choose an Oracle or Paladin in times of need, but in general those who study are more readily welcomed as her preachers than those who must be gifted with power.

TEMPLES AND SHRINES  
Temples to the Witch of Space are usually round, domed, and filled with natural light filtered either through glass, stained glass, woven leafy branches, or whatever else the local builders can devise. They are usually filled with living plants and make for excellent observatories of the heavens, but everything else about them tends to vary depending on what the builders desired. Small shrines to her are also common, varying widely in construction but usually to be found in places of great natural beauty.

HOLY TEXTS  
The holy books of the Church of Space are how-to manuals, ranging from the basics of animal husbandry and crop rotation to complex treatises on the movements of planets and the formation of continents. As a follower gains deeper understanding of their faith, so too do they gain a truer understanding of the world around them.

_The Scientific Method_  
Required reading for all priests and most followers of the Witch, this book demonstrates a way of thinking and interacting with the world that will produce the most progress. Although it encourages development and understanding of natural law, it also cautions the reader not to get carried away and take too much from the world, as balance will always be redressed.

_What Pumpkin?_  
Any farmer or smallholder who is literate has a copy of this book, which comes with an updated almanac every year and provides practical advice on a wide range of everyday matters. Except, for some unknown reason, pumpkins.

_Astronomy and Astrology – A Study Of The Celestial Spheres_  
This book explains in detail the physical and mystical properties of every star, planet, moon and comet to ever appear in the skies. Universally popular as the “Book of Horoscopes”, it is from this text that the fourteen birth-signs are drawn, and most people the world over would be able to tell you their sigil even if they cannot calculate their exact cosmic influences. Fewer people spend time in study of the more physical and material information available, but those who do insist that the possibilities of such study are more than worthwhile.

HOLIDAYS  
The church of the Witch marks the changing of the seasons, which usually leads to slightly different holiday seasons depending on the latitude and longitude of the worshippers. Even when a festival is not dedicated entirely to her, if it marks the changing year then she is always made welcome.

_Skyfall_  
One of the few celebrations of the Witch not tied to the seasons, this festival is held to celebrate the yearly display of shooting stars that visit the world. For most it is an excuse to hold bonfires, let off spell-flares, and generally celebrate the gifts of the nature Goddess. For academics and artificers it is a more intellectual affair, associated with astrology and the rare minerals often found in the crashed meteors.

_Summer’s End_  
Also known as Faire Season and Travelling Time, this is when apprentices are taken, hiring fairs are held, and all manner of tinkers, traders and roving entertainers ply their trade the world over. It is said that if you would change your life or move it, Summer’s End is the time to try.

_Last Harvest_  
When the final harvest of the year is done and all the crops are in for the winter, it is traditional to hold a party lasting long into the night. This is a common time for betrothals and is considered an excellent time to reminisce about the past.

_The Festival of Frost and Frogs_  
The day after the Winter Solstice, darkest day of the year, a great feast is held to celebrate the turning of the tide and the return of sunlight. Presents are given, and legends told of how the Goddess delivers them- either through portals, or by transporting herself across half the world in a single night.

[ ](http://th00.deviantart.net/fs70/PRE/i/2013/072/3/a/witch_of_space_by_persephone_the_fish-d5xz37s.jpg)

Witch Of Space Portrait by [proserpine-in-phases](http://proserpine-in-phases.tumblr.com/)

\--------------  
* Third Party Domains, 4 Winds Fantasy Gaming

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Posted late because I was up until 5am at a friend's house and then slept late. So there. :P


	24. ==> Kanaya: Remember An Old Friend

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Hero point votes:**  
>  John 1

## ==> Kanaya: Remember An Old Friend

As the chosen soul and devotee of a powerful goddess travelling with two instinctive arcane spellcasters, you are generally reluctant to describe every unlikely or unusual event as miraculous, but the possibility of divine intervention in the matter of your breakfast does not seem impossible given its unusual palatability. In the years since you left your home you have learned that while the different sentient races of the world may have many things in common, taste is not one of them, and what is acceptable to an elf may be utterly foul to dwarf, orc, aasimar or tiefling. You’ve often seen Aradia surreptitiously poking her food whenever you stop at inns, and you know from her many previous attempts to improve your rations that whatever she considers edible is likely to turn your stomach. Today, though, she has outdone herself, and your otherwise plain wandermeals are if not delicious then at least not dull.

Jade seems as delighted as you with the change, although you notice Sollux pulling faces whenever Aradia isn’t looking. You don’t think you’ve ever seen him really enjoy food that wasn’t sickeningly sweet; whenever you stop in Porthaven you always seem to end up bailing him out of lockup after too much mead and a subsequent series of drunken explosions. How in the name of the Sacred Mother he manages to cast effectively while intoxicated you have no conception whatsoever, but it has led to you all being on first-name terms with a number of members of the Watch and several individuals with such appellations as “Nine-Finger Joe” and “Masher Higgins”.

Since you have become effectively diurnal in the past few days it is early morning when you eat; Aradia is cheerier than usual after a full night of rest, and Sollux seems to have warmed to your new travelling companion somewhat since she became your employer. He is sitting next to you now, munching mechanically on a dried biscuit with that odd faraway look that you have come to learn means he’s probably thinking about complex arcane formulae. Across the fire from you, Bec is dozing by his mistress while Aradia and Jade pore over the map that your small group has been painstakingly drawing for the last few weeks.

“Do you know whereabouts in the mountains the Dwarf Hold is?”

Jade shrugs, chin almost resting on Aradia’s shoulder as she absently scratches at the fur on Bec’s back. “Not exactly? I mean, I had directions, but it was more compass points and landmarks and maybe a bit of magic. I knew I was a day or two out when I hit the old temple.”

Aradia draws a line along the parchment with her finger. “So, that means somewhere in this area. What landmarks? Maybe we saw some of them when we were exploring.”

Jade chews her lip. “Umm, after the temple? North to a big old hollow tree, large enough to camp in, and then north-north east to a clearing full of bluebells.” She grins. “Oh, and then it’s almost due east until we see a weathered statue of a smith working at an anvil.”

“A smith?” you blurt, and then blush as the two of them turn to face you.

“Kanaya?” asks Aradia, “Do you know where it is? Because I don’t remember a statue, but if you do then that would be perfect, because I do remember the bluebells and I’m pretty sure I can get us there but if we’ve been closer to the Hold…”

“I… I may have seen something like that once,” you admit, talking more slowly than usual as your mind whirls. “But it was not on this journey. It was a long time ago, when I first came to the surface.” The others all stare at you wordlessly, and you feel compelled to elaborate. “I was, at the time, entirely ignorant of the world and my surroundings. Everything was new to me, and as such the memories are still vivid. But I had no idea we were currently in the area of my emergence. If I had then I would have said something sooner, I didn’t know…”

“Okay, we get it, chill the fuck out already,” Sollux says, rolling his eyes. “Tho we’re near the point you came out from underground. Tho what? Unleth it helpth uth find the dwarveth, I don’t thee how thith ith at all relevant.”

“It is entirely relevant, because it means we are near Golgesi,” you tell him, perhaps a little more sharply than you intended. “Although… now I think of it, there are hardly many large drow cities in this region… oh, no, how silly of me, I should have thought of this sooner…” your voice trails off as you bury your head in your hands with embarrassment.

There is a long pause, and then you hear Jade’s voice, sounding unusually tentative. “So… I guess this means you can find my brother, right?”

You peek out from behind your fingers to see her leaning forwards, the ends of her hair in danger of igniting as they dangle close to the fire. “Not precisely,” you explain, dropping your hands a little but keeping them safely over your burning cheeks. “Golgesi is large and populous, and although it is likely that is where he has ended up there are any number of places he could have been taken within the city.”

“Again, then, I athk what the point of thith bullthit ith,” Sollux says.

“Oh, don’t be such a grumpy puss,” Aradia says, sticking her tongue out at him. “Isn’t it obvious? Kanaya comes from the city, so she’ll have friends there! Friends we can ask for help!”

You nod as Sollux huffs and slumps down to lie on the ground, ignoring you all. “One in particular,” you say, before pausing to carefully choose your next words. “I should warn you- I don’t know how much help she will be. We were friends, yes, but her nature is such that she has always been hard to read at the best of times. Until she helped me escape, I had no idea that she would be on my side in the matter that required my absence, and I have not spoken with her since. She could easily have changed a great deal in the time that has passed.”

Jade examines the sky for a moment, then beams at you. “It’s better than nothing, though!” she says. “And we can’t afford to turn down leads; who knows how much trouble Jake is in right now!” Her face falls as she says it, and you don’t want to upset her but you can’t help the way your eye twitches or your fingers tighten in the grass.

The other elf misses it, but Aradia knows you well enough to recognise your tells. “Kanaya?” she asks, a warning tone in her voice, and you can no longer hold in or deny the worry that has been eating at you ever since your new employer mentioned the most likely cause of her brother’s disappearance.

You avoid meeting Jade’s eyes, hands twisting in your lap as you speak the plain truth. “If your brother has been captured, then it is more than likely he is in grave danger,” you tell the fire, not daring to look at your companions. “My people are… not kind. Or perhaps it would be better to say that our society is not?” You hesitate, chewing on your lip as you think. “I, like my kin and perhaps my friend, wished to change things, but as it was concepts such as compassion, mercy, and altruism were not valued or considered virtues in my homeland. In fact, they were more often mocked and exploited as weaknesses.”

“But that’s awful!” Aradia exclaims at the same moment as Jade scowls and says, “So what in the hells have they done with Jake!?”

“Well,” you say, fiddling with the hair behind your ear and wondering how best to explain this to your surface-dwelling friends. “The thing you have to understand about my people is that it is generally accepted as fact- and really, Sollux, I have to assure you that I no longer feel this way and I in fact consider you to be a good friend and one of the most intelligent people I have ever met…”

"What the fuck are you thaying?”

“…but my people usually consider, that is to say, we- they- tend to believe, that men are not, ah, as mentally acute as women?"

Sollux pushes himself up on his bony elbows, eyes narrowing to glare at you. "What ith that thuppothed to mean, _not ath mentally acute?_ " he hisses. You know full well he understands but from the way Jade's brow is furrowed you aren't so sure she does, so you try to swallow the lump in your throat and elaborate.

"The... general perception, I suppose, is that men are less cerebral, less capable of reason, and are more inclined to and best suited for purely physical tasks, particularly those involving violence or things similarly, ahm, primal?” Jade is still frowning, and you realise that putting this delicately is getting you nowhere. "If your brother has been captured by drow, which seems probable, then it was most likely to be slave traders. I understand that I don't know much about him as a person, and a sunwalker- that is, a surface elf- would be a rare and valuable commodity, but anyone paying for him would almost certainly be less interested in any education or skills he might have than in his, ah, baser qualities."

Jade tilts her head. “So… they might make him fight people? Or hurt people?” She scowls. “If he gets hurt then I am going to bring their whole stupid city down around their dumb snowy heads! Oh, no offence, Kanaya. Sorry.”

Realising that she isn't getting your rather too broad hints, you give up with a sigh. “As I already said, he would be valuable- too much so to expend casually or foolishly. He is most likely a bodyguard. Or something.” You shuffle about on the ground and brush some stray specks of dirt and leaf mould off your cloak. “Definitely something.”

“Oh, well, I guess that’s not so bad? Jake’s pretty tough, after all.” Jade says, but she still looks worried. Sollux growls.

“Yeah, thure,” he says, scrambling to his feet. “I feel tho much better about your dipthit brother now. Thankth, Kanaya, it wath great to hear all about how you think I’m a utheleth piethe of brainleth crap.”

You stare at him, small red and blue flames flickering and dying over his skin, your brain drawing a blank in the face of his sudden fury. “I… I beg your pardon?” you say after a moment, your voice running on baffled, uncomprehending automatic.

He bares his teeth, snarling at you like a cornered wolf. “Oh, I’m thorry, wath I thuppothed to be inthuffithiently _therebral_ to underthtand? Or am I jutht dithplaying a lethher capathity for reathon by getting upthet about it?”

You wince as the problem dawns on you; perhaps you should have seen this coming, but you are so used to thinking of Sollux as, well, _Sollux_ \- rude and arrogant and utterly unconcerned with the opinions of the rest of the world- that you forgot entirely how sensitive he can be to criticism in areas that matter to him. Such as, for instance, his intellect. You know that you’re on dangerous ground, but you try anyway. “I never said you were stupid, Sollux,” you tell him slowly, keeping a close eye on the dangerous little sparks of magic that crackle around him. “In fact, I seem to have some recollection of mentioning how very much I admire your intelligence only a minute or so ago.”

“Yeah, I remember,” said Sollux through gritted teeth. “How very fucking brilliant I am. Look at the puny little freak, he’th learned a few trickth, ithn’t that clever. Let’th pat him on the head and give him a _treat_.” The last word was spat out like a curse or a challenge, and you can feel your ire rising as you open your mouth to retort when suddenly Aradia is there, standing between the two of you and raising a finger to waggle it under Sollux’s nose.

“That is quite enough of that!” she says, and although you can’t really tell with his solid-coloured eyes you’re sure from the way his head is tilted that Sollux is following her fingertip. “If you’re just going to be upset whatever she says to you, then you can just take a time-out to cool off, mister!”

Sollux’s head turns to you, to Jade, and then back to Aradia. “Fuck thith,” he mutters, and with a dejected slump to his shoulders turns and slinks away to hide behind a tree. Aradia turns back to you and digs something out of a belt pouch.

“Here,” she says, crouching briefly to press something warm and round into your palm. “You get in touch with your friend, okay?” She smiles at Jade. “Don’t worry, it’s going to be fine. Let’s get camp packed up.”

As Jade agrees and the two of them stand, you look in your hand to see a wooden token carved with a small bird on one side and a lone feather on the other. It takes you a few seconds to recognise it, and as soon as you do you raise your head to tell Aradia that you cannot possibly accept such a valuable gift. Before you can even open your mouth your friend sees, and gives you a wink and a thumbs-up that negate any possibility of refusal. She knows exactly what she’s doing, and you accept with a silent promise to yourself that you _will_ pay her back. Eventually. When you can afford to.

You aren’t quite sure how to use the Feather Token, so you hold it in your thumb and forefinger and study it closely. To your ordinary, untrained vision it looks like an ordinary piece of beautifully carved wood, but then that is the way of magical items- most of them don’t look like anything out of the ordinary. You check to be sure nobody’s watching then give it a surreptitious lick. It tastes surprisingly similar to unaltered wandermeals, but nothing magical happens.

You frown in thought, rubbing the token in your grip as you ponder its mysteries, until you realise that the growing warmth in your hand is down to more than just friction. When you look again you see a very faint glow around the token; as soon as you stop rubbing it begins to fade, and with a sense of burgeoning relief you resume the action. Soon the small piece of wood is not only emitting a pale pinkish light, but is also humming faintly, and you let go in surprise as it judders in your fingers. It hovers in the air for a moment before the light erupts into a brilliant crimson flame, the token flaring into a piece of yellowed parchment that hovers before you, enveloped in a golden aura.

You touch the parchment with one finger, and a jade-green mark appears on the spot; you pull back to consider your next action. There is every possibility that Terezi will turn you and your friends in rather than working with you, and an equally significant chance that your letter will be intercepted by hostile parties; it is thus imperative that your missive is composed with care.  
Eventually, after prolonged and careful thought, you touch your finger to the magical parchment again and begin to write.

To My Oldest And I Hope Dearest Friend

I Can Only Pray That This Reaches You Although You Can Of Course Understand My Reluctance To Assume That Such Will Be The Case. I Will Not Insult You By Presuming To Pretend That I Had Intentions To Contact You Before This Or In Fact At All But Instead Offer Only My Regrets That Regular Correspondence Has Been And Remains A Dangerous Impracticality For Us Both. It Is My Hope That Your Memories Of Our Association Remain As Fond As My Own For Once Again I Find Myself In Need Of Your Aid And At Your Mercy Such As It Might Be For My Future Disposition.

I And Some Companions Of Mine With Whom I Regularly Travel Have Of Late Been Employed By A Lady Requiring Assistance In The Matter Of Her Brother Who Has Been Abducted From The Vicinity Of His Home. The Circumstances Would Seem To Indicate The Involvement Of Our People And Naturally When I Realised That Our Fair City Was The Nearest Settlement I Recalled Our Previous Alliance. It Should Take Us Only A Few Days To Arrive Within The Boundaries But Obviously The Less Time We Spend In The City The Better For All Concerned. Therefore If You Could Find Any Information Pertaining To A Male Sunwalker Captured Near Or In Dwarven Territory Within The Last Two Or Three Days I Would Be Most Grateful To Receive It.

I Understand That Circumstances May Be Different Now. If So I Would Hasten To Remind You That Information While Valuable Is Simple Enough To Impart And Urge You To Consider Helping Me Anyway In Remembrance Of Our Shared History.

Blessings Of The Goddesses Be With You

Your Sister

As soon as you finish the letter green flames start to consume the paper from the top, and you snatch your hands back as the parchment burns. The flames curl into a ball in the air and then spread, forming a vaguely avian shape before fading to reveal a small brown bird. Its beak and eyes look oddly wooden, its feathers paperish; you think you can even make out a few of your words on its wings before it chirps at you and takes to the air. You watch it pass above the treetops heading north-east until you can no longer see the tiny speck and your eyes water from staring at the bright blue sky.

"Oh, good, you're done!" says Jade, smiling as she and her wolf walk up beside you and passing you your pack. "Me and Aradia got everything stowed, so we should be good to go." She looks over to the treeline and you follow her gaze to see your tiefling friend sitting beside Sollux. They're holding hands and his head is resting on her shoulder. "So, um, yeah," Jade says, fiddling with her hair. "When we're all ready then, I suppose."

Bec pushes his cold canine nose against your leg and, glad for the distraction, you spend a few moments petting him. When you look over at your friends again, they are standing and Sollux is shouldering the pack that holds their tent. You give the large wolf one last pat and start towards them, trusting that Aradia will guide you safely to your destination.

The journey through the forest is strange; you’re no longer used to seeing the place by day, and although the occasional burst of bright sunshine in a clearing causes you to wince your dark eyeglasses and the leaves overhead block most of the light. You’d forgotten quite how bright the colours could get, how rich the green and gold and brown of the woodlands is, and once you’ve adjusted you find the change refreshing.

Jade leads your little group; you march behind her, trying not to worry about Aradia and Sollux bringing up the rear. They aren’t even whispering, not that you were hoping to listen in or anything- Aradia does chat to Jade, the pair of them sharing stories about various dangerous ruins and magical artefacts they’ve run into before now and occasionally pausing to consult Aradia’s map. The whole way, Bec runs ahead to scout then doubles back to check on you all, and you make sure to thank him each time. You don’t really know how intelligent a Druid’s companion is, but if it’s anything like a wizard’s familiar you want to stay on his good side. He seems to appreciate the praise at any rate; from the fond licks he gives your hand, you think you might be his new second-favourite person.

You pass the hollow tree at about midmorning and change course for the next landmark; buoyed by this success, Jade starts to sing a travelling song about being on the road. When she’s done Aradia contributes some songs she’s learned in taverns, and you recall a couple of good ones you picked up in your travels, and the three of you swap choruses until you grow hoarse. Even after that Jade keeps humming, and it’s a pleasant enough background noise although after a while it does grow a little tiresome.

A sharp bark from Bec alerts you all to the discovery of the bluebell clearing, and you walk out into a thick carpet of blue flowers with a sense of relief that you still aren’t lost after all. Noon has passed as you travel and the four of you agree that a meal break is in order; you settle down under the shade of the trees on the edge of the clearing and watch as Jade and Bec chase each other through the flowers.

A few minutes after you sit down, you feel a brush of air as Sollux settles in next to you. “I’m thorry,” he says quietly.

You don’t need to ask what for, but over the last few months you’ve heard enough contrition from him to be somewhat inured to its effects. “You wouldn’t need to apologise if you had made an effort to be more polite to begin with,” you say, still not facing him.

“Ith that a male thing too?” he asks, soft but with a hint of bitterness. “Being rude and over-thenthitive?”

“I don’t think you have poor social skills because you are a man. I think you have poor social skills because you are Sollux.” Even as the words leave your mouth you realise that they aren’t completely honest. While you truthfully don’t consider his gender to be the cause of his behaviour, you do find yourself wondering if you would have been this patient with his personality quirks if he was a woman. It is uncomfortable to consider that you might only have him as a friend because you instinctively lowered your expectations of him as a person.

“Bullthit,” he says, and you wonder if he really knows that or is just guessing. There is a long pause, during which you wrap your hands around your knees, before he speaks again. “I went for a thcolarthip.”

This time you do turn around; Sollux is sitting at right angles to you against the same tree, curled round on himself and staring at his knees. “When?”

“Latht time we were in Porthaven,” he says, not looking up. “You remember Mathter Areleyn?”

The name strikes a distant chord and you frown as you try to dredge up the information. “He was one of the spellcasters you met in the city library, correct?”

Sollux nods, a shallow little bob of his head. “Yeah, one of the dethent oneth. We kept looking for the thame bookth and he alwayth found thome time to thay hi. We talked a bunch of timeth; it wath really great, he’th got a degree in Evocation from the College Arcanum and he jutht- he knowth a lot.”

“That must have been interesting,” you say, keeping your tone as neutral as possible. You know that while he’ll settle for any university or high-grade apprenticeship, Sollux wants to study at the College Arcanum more than anything. No wonder you remember Areleyn’s name; it must have been mentioned around you a great deal in the past few weeks.

“It wath,” Sollux agrees, lip twitching in a tiny smile. “Tho anyway, the latht time I talked to him he’d jutht got an offer of tenure from Whithtling Rock, and he wath thaying how he wath going to uthe thome of hith family’th wealth to provide for thtudentth from leth able backgroundth…”

“You asked him to take you as a student,” you say as Sollux’s voice peters out. “And it didn’t go well.”

“He wath very polite, actually,” the sorcerer says, his voice utterly flat. “Thaid I wath a nithe kid but he wath looking for _theriouth academicth._ ”

“I’m sorry,” you tell him, and Sollux shrugs.

“It’th not your fault, and I thouldn’t have acted like it wath,” he says, and you wonder how hard it will be to find out where this Master Areleyn lives because you think you would quite like to introduce him personally to a touch of the Mother's wrath.

"If he was incapable of seeing how talented and dedicated you are, then that is his own problem," you tell Sollux, trying to substitute sympathy for murderous rage and just barely succeeding. "One day I am certain you will have the opportunity to rub his face in it, and I sincerely hope I am there to witness the event."

"I wrote a whole fucking application," Sollux mutters, cheeks turning a yellowish shade. "Athhole didn't even read it." He sighs, and you hesitantly reach over to pat his shoulder. The two of you sit in companionable quiet for a while, listening to the birds and the wind and Jade's humming, before Sollux speaks again.

"I don't care how much thee'th paying uth, if thee doethn't thtop making that godthawful noithe, I am going to kill her in her thleep."

You can't help the little titter that escapes you. "It is somewhat repetitive, isn't it," you agree, watching the other elf as she is bowled over into the bluebells by her animal companion. "I would even go so far as to say maddeningly so."

"I think my earth might actually thtart bleeding," Sollux says. There is another pause; you hear the twigs and stones shifting under him moments before he appears in your line of vision. "Tho that magic thtuff earlier- did Aradia really give you the Bird Feather Token?"

You nod. "It was the only means to contact my friend in Golgesi."

Sollux scowls. "Fuck! Do you know how much that thing wath worth? Unleth we get paid over the oddth Aradia ithn't even going to profit from thith!" He sighs and slumps back down. "I keep telling her thith ith why we don't have any money," he mutters.

You make a vaguely agreeable noise and diplomatically say nothing. Whilst Aradia's philanthropic habits may contribute to the problem, you have travelled with other adventurers before now and one thing you have learned from the experience is that there are exactly two ways that members of your profession make any money; by taking side jobs, or by taking bigger risks. Since anyone willing to go to a drow or tiefling for spellcasting is in your experience not the type of individual who plans on- or is indeed capable of- paying for the service, you are somewhat limited on the first option. As for the second, you are a little worried that this job might be a perfect example of just that. Professional adventurers usually deal in sums of money that most other people would give their right arms to possess, but what everyone forgets is that virtually all the profit ends up getting sunk into equipment to prevent exactly such a loss. It usually only takes one heart-stopping, blood-freezing near-death experience to convince anyone that it's worth losing the equivalent of a farm labourer’s lifetime's wages for a few potions, or better armour, or anything else that might make the difference between coming back to town and being buried under a makeshift cairn or left as a meal for the crows.

You are smart enough to realise that what you have is less a professional career and more a powerful addiction, one where eventually you either get lucky and rich, wise and retired, or overconfident and dead. You are however not cruel enough to enlighten Sollux on the matter, especially not when he is already dwelling on the latest frustration of his ambitions, so instead you sit in silence and contemplate whether it is worth getting in touch with Rose again; perhaps Roxy’s old tutor might be willing to accommodate your friend. The only problem is that you would then have to deal with the Church of Light, and although Rose is good enough at navigating Temple Politics to put a Matriarch to shame you are still wary of the High Priest and the uneasy sense you get from his inner council.

Across the clearing from where you are sat, Bec freezes mid-bound and stares fixedly into the forest; Jade and Aradia almost collide as they come to stop next to the wolf. He starts to bark at the shadows you scramble for your weapon as Sollux climbs to his feet, the two of you racing to stand next to your comrades.

“Who is it?” Jade yells, taking a step forwards and tilting her chin in a challenge. “We know you’re there, so there’s no point sneaking around!”

Your heart is pounding as you grip the hilt of your sabre, expecting wild animals or bandits or cultists or one of a hundred other deadly things you have run into before in these woods. Instead, you are surprised when a deep male voice calls out; “I say, old girl, keep your hat on! Be right out!”

From between the trees ahead of you step three short, squat figures, neither of them higher than your shoulder and both of them at least twice your breadth. Two are men who bristle with hair, their faces little more than a large brown nose and two twinkling black eyes swimming in a sea of curls. The woman with them has no beard but otherwise looks just the same, from her blunt, square face and auburn pleat to her worked leather armour to the stubby, sharp-edged shovel strapped to her back and the odd device on her hip.

“Hammer and Anvil!” the dwarven woman exclaims, staring straight at Jade as she steps into the sunlight. “Blow me down with a feather if you don’t look the spit and bloody image!”

“Language, Bryn,” says one of the other dwarves. The woman snorts.

“Oh, piffle,” she says, flapping a hand dismissively. “Like you wouldn’t say a damned sight worse if I didn’t pip you to it.”

“So sorry about this,” says the other dwarf, extending a hand in Jade’s direction. “Can’t do a bally thing about them, I’m afraid. You must be Jade and those adventurers of hers; jolly good to meet you!”

You swear that Jade’s scowl is even deeper than Sollux’s right now, although she takes the hand and shakes it once before dropping it again. “How do you know me? Are you friends of my brother? Did his clan send you?”

“Oh, I think you could say that,” says the spokesdwarf cheerily. “Dad thought you could use a friendly hand or three getting to us, so he sent us out to meet you halfway. Good show, eh?” He grins at the four of you, and to your surprise looks your way to give you a momentary wink. “Lars Quartzkin, at your service. This is my little brother Vidar and our sister Brynhild.” He pauses. “And your brother and sister too, I should suppose- that is assuming I’m understanding this gosh-darned adoption nonsense right. Leastways, Jake’s our brother as well as yours, and to my mind that jolly well makes us all kin, don’t you agree?”

“Oh! Yes!” Jade laughs, and suddenly Lars is the subject of an enthusiastic hug. “I can’t believe I didn’t recognise you! Jake mentions you all the time in his letters…”

You watch in astonishment as the three dwarves crowd around her, assuring her that really, it’s nothing to worry about, and that it’s just a damned fine show that they’re all meeting even if it is under such a bother of a circumstance. You catch Aradia’s eye and she shrugs; between you Sollux is slowly shaking his head in disbelief. Then the whirl of dwarves is on the move and before you can resist you have been pulled into a bone-crushing hug and given several slaps on the back of sufficient heartiness to bruise your muscles. Aradia receives a similar treatment and responds in kind to the Quartzkin, who promptly declare her a “jolly fine sort”, and Bec is more than keen to introduce himself to the boisterous trio. Sollux avoids manhandling by backpedalling so fast that he trips over his own feet and lands flat on the ground. The dwarves consider this greatly amusing but help the sorcerer back to his feet without even a hint of mockery, even if Bryn then undoes this good work by ruffling the halfblood’s hair and calling him a “fine sport.”

“So, then,” says Vidar, after all the introductions are done. “Seems that we’re done here. Anyone else got business in this delightful clearing?”

There is a chorus of negatives, your own still slightly dazed by the rather aggressively physical display of camaraderie.

“Well hurrah!” says Bryn, grinning. From ahead, Lars snorts.

“Come on, chaps and chappetes,” he calls back over one shoulder. “Keep a brisk pace going. At this rate, we should make to the Clanhold by nightfall!”

Vidar beams and starts to stride off towards the trees, Aradia and Jade close behind him. You spare a glance at Sollux, who shrugs; the pair of you fall in at the rear of the group to follow the dwarves to their mysterious underground home.  


### Suggestions Used

 _UDMonk –_ Jade and co.: Do summat!

 _Ms Arano –_ Aradia: Use cartography skills.

 _RandomGal -_ Jade: Alternate between being worried about Jake and pissed off at who stole him.

 _RandomGal -_ Kanaya: Figure out what you're going to do when you go back to down below. Remember Terezi; maybe she might be able to help you?

 _jadescribe -_ Kanaya: Maybe Terezi will help you out. Kidnapping isn't totally legal, right?

 _jadescribe –_ Jade, Kanaya and Aradia: be the competent ones

 _Silverkyo –_ Sollux: Kill the new girl for her horrible singing

 _solarVerdancy –_ Sollux: Trip on air.

 _ttd0000 –_ Jade: Arrive at dwarf village at the speed of plot.

### System Notes

 **Navigate to Quartzkin Clanhold without getting lost on the way = DC15**  
Jade's survival check = 19 VS DC10  
JADE SUCCESSFULLY AIDS ARADIA'S SURVIVAL CHECK (+2)  
Aradia's survival check = 16  
ARADIA AND JADE SUCCESSFULLY NAVIGATE A ROUTE TO THE QUARTZKIN CLANHOLD.

 **Bird Feather Token -** A token that creates a small bird that can be used to deliver a small written message unerringly to a designated target. The token lasts as long as it takes to carry the message.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everybody! Wow, it feels like forever since I updated, even though it's only been a week!
> 
> This time on LODAD: drow gender politics for fun and profit! Or something. Yeah whatever, we all know the point of this was Sollux sulking and Jake's dwarf siblings. ;)
> 
> EDIT:  
> Moved the notes from the top of the chapter to the bottom.


	25. ==> Terezi: Advance The Plot The Only Way You Know How- W1TH GR34T JUST1C3!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Hero point votes:**  
>  John 1  
> Jade 1  
> Karkat 1

## ==> Terezi: Advance The Plot The Only Way You Know How- W1TH GR34T JUST1C3!

You don’t waste much time standing around after the sunwalker boy leaves; after all, time is suddenly very much of the essence and you are perfectly capable of thinking on the move. The first thing you do is head back to the chapel. The guards are a bit surprised to see you return but you ignore it; answering their unspoken curiosity would be more suspicious than silence. Right now your life almost certainly depends on maintaining the illusion that you believe you are in control.

It is an illusion, of course. You always knew this day might come. You wonder if the Temple found out about your Reformist leanings or whether this is just ordinary power-grubbing treachery; either seems plausible. It is the Temple, too, and not just your mentor- only the full authority of the High Priestess would suffice to dispatch an assassin. You can already see the plan playing out in your mind; Gamzee is poisoned and dies either before or shortly after the wedding. The poison would be something subtle, but not so much that his new bride could fail to detect it, because who could use poison to thwart a master alchemist? The Temple is above suspicion, and so the accusations begin to fly between House Kutsanmis and House Yetenekli; breach of contract leads to a failed alliance, possibly even a brief and bloody feud. Meanwhile you, as the leader of the detail intended to protect the deceased, are reprimanded and placed under a tighter watch, until you can do nothing without the Temple’s intercession. Unless you let on that you know what really happened, in which case you are a threat to be eliminated and then mourned as a martyr.

It’s a good plan, with only one question remaining; why. Rumour has it that this alliance would be powerful, but you’ve never known your Temple to act on rumour, so they must know something more. You ponder the possibilities as you gather books from the side room and tuck Karkat’s journal safely back into your belongings; if someone catches wind of your research it could tip your hand too soon and the journal is far too valuable to let fall into the hands of the Temple.

You need to know more and you need the information fast. Your time limit is the wedding, only hours away, and even if you hadn’t promised to have an escape plan ready you would want to be gone by then. The Temple isn’t going to let you keep your freedom and your life for long, and you don’t intend to let them take either, which means running is your only option. Hopefully Karkat can manage to steal a way to open those collars; he struck you as more thug than pickpocket, but most Shanties residents are at least a little multi-talented.

You take a moment to wish you had more reliable allies as you head out of the chapel again. This time you get a little less attention, because a small group of Sylphite priestesses have arrived and are setting up the altar for the wedding rehearsal. As you pass, one of them puts four small stone bottles down behind the ceremonial contract, and you take care to let your gaze slip off them after only an instant. You know that in some marriage ceremonies the fortune toast between wife and husband is drunk with water, or Potions of Blessing, but given his hobbies if the Lady Kutsanmis hasn’t had her son cursed with infertility you will eat your boots. It seems likely that the bride has taken similar precautions with herself, but even if she hasn’t the richest and most powerful House in Golgesi won’t have skimped on the magic. The most probable conclusion is that all four bottles will be Potions of Remove Curse, as is traditional amongst the nobility, and if Karkat fails those vials are your only hope of getting out of here with your new allies intact. Assuming that they survive the next few hours, and that you can spirit the potions out from under the watchful noses of the guards, that is.

Nobody stops you as you enter the corridors, and you keep walking with purposeful strides even though you don’t yet have a destination in mind. Before you do anything else, you have to confirm that an assassination order came from the Temple of the Seer- this could still be a misunderstanding or an external threat. It wouldn’t do to overreact; paranoia and distrust have been the downfall of many of your contempories. Justice acts on proof, not suspicion.  
The Sylphites may have claimed the chapel, but when you first arrived you took over one of the empty rooms in the old tower where Gamzee was housed. You’ve since migrated to the guardroom, but if there’s any leftover evidence it won’t be somewhere you frequent. The old River Tower was largely deserted and riddled with secret passages- plenty of spaces for treachery and skullduggery.

You find it odd to be retracing the steps of yesterday’s chaotic chase. The bustle in the main courtyard has not reduced in the least, but the banquet hall is quiet. A few scattered slaves are mopping the floors and scrubbing the tables, the place not yet being set for tonight’s planned feast. You can sense their eyes on you as you pass, but every time you turn to meet their gaze they are focusing diligently on their work. No servants jump out to challenge you on your way to the kitchens and you nod politely to the cook as you pass through his domain, weaving around the busy kitchen workers and grinning when he sends a death-glare back your way. You’ve made an enemy there, but not one that worries you overly much.

A loud and angry blur of brown charges as you step out into the back courtyard, only to be brought up short by a choke-chain. You stand a foot beyond its reach and stare at the furiously barking dog as it tries to reach you. Your stern glare has no effect on the creature and you leave it frantically throttling itself in its attempt to deter any and all passers-by from their course. Now that you’re travelling at a less break-neck pace, the disrepair of the back courtyard is obvious to you. The flagstones are broken and cracked and small patches of fungus are growing between them, clinging to the damp porous rock beneath. You take care to skirt some of the more virulently colourful patches until you reach the foot of the River Tower, the crooked structure within unfortunate smelling distance of its namesake.

The sharp alchemical whiff still hangs in the air as you enter the tower, now empty and unguarded, and navigate the crooked stairs with your darkvision. When you first arrived here you thought the place seemed empty but now you can feel the truth of it in your bones. The entire building is a repository for dust and forgotten days and you take care to tread softly as you walk down the abandoned corridor that was watched and guarded less than a full day ago. Footsteps in this place would be too loud.

When you enter Gamzee’s old chambers the first thing that strikes you is how much is still here. Cushions are scattered across the floor where they had been used for sitting or lying on, and on a low dresser to the side is a decanter and a full cup of wine. An uncomfortable shiver goes along your spine as you look at it, then you grab both vessels and use your foot to push the door to the privy open. The liquid goes straight down the hole, and you consider throwing the containers after it but decide that if there is any lingering poison it will most likely be cleaned off before these things are used again. At least now it won’t be drunk by some opportunistic servant or slave.

The rope is also still dangling down the privy, and screwing your nose up at the smell you pull it up into the room. You don’t expect assassins by this route any more, but that’s no reason to leave an easy way in for thieves.

You wander back out into the main room, exactly as you left it the day before, and it strikes you that after a lifetime spent in these chambers Gamzee is never going to return here. You think of your own rooms at the Temple, the basic stone cell decorated over the years with small trinkets that you’ve found and mementoes of interesting cases, and you discover that your regrets are confined to a mild twinge at the thought of abandoning your slightly threadbare collection of cuddly toys. You’ve rescued plenty of them over the years, plush dragons and beetles and spiders that are missing eyes or have tears sewn clumsily closed. When you were younger you used to hold trials for them, sometimes even recruiting Kanaya to help you keep order in the courtroom. You don’t think she was ever as fond of the games as you were but she would play along anyway.

It would probably have been dramatic had you stopped playing with the toys when she left, but in truth you lost interest and shelved them all years earlier, even before you had real investigations and legal battles to occupy your mind. Now, with the slight ache in your chest, you suppose that you must have some vestigial fondness for your toys after all. It’s not enough to hold you up as you close your eyes and breathe deeply, forming a short prayer in your mind.  
You don’t pray to the Seer, exactly, but instead to Justice. Another change from your childhood, this one to remind you that the corruption of the Temple is not the same as its ideal form. When you open your eyes the room floods your mind, and you know without having to look closer what is there and where everything is. None of it is useful for your investigation, although you do go over to the dresser in the corner and retrieve several potion vials. You don’t know what’s in them, but you can work that out later and any magic is good magic in your situation.

You repeat the search in the rest of Gamzee’s old suite, and find nothing more interesting than leftover drugs and stained clothes and cushions that you don’t want to question too deeply. Not that you were expecting anything in here, but you wanted to be thorough. You linger in the doorway for one last look at the room before you leave, the silent chamber waiting for the return of an occupant who is gone forever, then pull the door firmly closed and set your sights on the room down the hall.

This door creaks when you push it open, years of neglect taking their toll on the hinges, and dust puffs up from the floor in the antechamber beyond. You ignore the furniture swathed in protective white and follow the footprints in the dust through to the main room. In here the dust is scuffed and shuffled by the passing of feet, and the covered furniture has been shoved aside to make room for a few trance couches and a table with several chairs. You only used this room for a day or so, all told, and as you look around it now you can see that there’s nothing of interest left here save for a stray money-purse, which you grab. The same spell you used to search Gamzee’s quarters tells you the same thing; even the privy, where a spy might have some privacy, turns up nothing more than the mingled smells of dust and damp and alchemical sewage. It’s a good thing, you tell yourself. You weren’t expecting any evidence in these rooms and if you had found some, chances are it would have been a plant. Finding nothing means they don’t suspect you yet.

There’s one more place you want to check, but despite time being short you don’t hurry back down the uneven tower steps. Instead as you descend you contemplate the High Priestess. You’ve known her ever since you were a hatchling, your smiling adoptive aunt and attentive guide to the tangled path before you. When you were young you ran to her with every tale of misadventure and discovery, too small to realise that your easy access to her was privilege beyond belief. When you were older you met her in the evenings to debate and share drinks, swapping stories of days spent hunting criminals through the lower town for stories of political machination and the machinery of governance. She was a protector when suspicion fell on you after Kanaya left, a sympathetic ear when your mentor started working against you, a gentle supporter whenever you wondered what was becoming of your people.

You always knew she was going to betray you one day. It still stings. One way or another, her machinations are going to cost you your life, and with it your hopes of reforming the Temple from within. In one single power play she has doomed your people to civil war, the only undecided factor how it will begin. Part of you wants revenge, but it’s pointless now. Maybe once you get away from here you can meet up with some of the more active Reformist cabals, lend them some legitimacy with your presence and your mark… but then you remember the journal tucked safely away on your person, and the same sense of unease that drove you to research heretical faiths last night pangs at you.

The rooms you and your people laid claim to link into a different privy than Gamzee’s room, and as you step around the building into the shadowy shaft you are glad of the fact. Even relatively clean and unused the miasma of sewage remains heavy, and you breathe through your mouth to avoid the foul air as you close your eyes to summon the vision granted to you by Justice one more time.

Oh, look. _That’s_ interesting.

Scattered across the hard stone of the midden floor are fragments of thick glass, as if a small but sturdy vessel had dropped from a great height to land on the stone. The pieces would fit together to form a small phial, and in the dim light from the courtyard you can just make out a few drops of a faintly green transparent fluid clinging to the mostly-intact base fragment.

Carefully, you sling your bag off your shoulder and pull out some clean cloth rags that you always carry with you in case of evidence. You pick up a piece with a tiny stopper in it and the base piece, careful not to spill any of the precious drops and even more careful not to let the glass prick your skin. If an ingested poison gets into your blood it could be a disaster.

You are just straightening up, bag in one hand and evidence in the other, when something shining with green light comes flying in from the courtyard straight towards you. You manage to retain the presence of mind to drop the bag and not the evidence when it tries to land on your palm, narrowly catching and then staring dumbstruck at the strange winged creature that seems to be made of parchment and alight with green flame. It looks at you with inky eyes and the fire suddenly erupts into brilliant blue, the entire creature folding into itself then unravelling in your hand.

There is a glimpse of jade-green ink and the form of a letter outlined in cerulean flames, when your attention is grabbed by a silhouette passing across the door of the privy shaft.

“I wondered who that was for,” says a familiar voice. Your eyes adjust to show you one of your Lawkeepers, the one with the bandaged head, as she steps closer. Her hand rests on her swordcane and she watches you warily. “I wasn’t expecting to see you all the way out here, Ma’am.”

You both look from the bundle of cloth padding and broken glass in your one hand to the clearly magical letter in the other. “I was looking for some privacy,” you say, raising your head so her gaze meets your tinted eyeglasses, daring her to challenge you as you race to calculate the possibilities.

She’s suspicious of you, that much is clear. If she’s the assassin, then she’ll be thinking about what you might know; if she’s innocent, then she’s wondering what you’re up to. Confront the assassin and you force her hand, surprise an innocent with that knowledge and she’ll think you’re lying to hide your own transgression. You cross honesty off the list of options and consider your chances if either of you were to attack the other. She’s in worse shape than you and wasn’t as proficient even before being hurt, but even though you’d win she’d leave injuries, and that would cause too many questions. It’s too risky.

Of course the same conclusions are true for her. You watch the small tells flicker across her face as she considers her options, and wait for her to realise that she can’t afford to trap you in a corner.

“There are more... comfortable places, to be alone,” she says and you realise the woman is an idiot. She can’t see you roll your eyes behind your shades, though, and you suppose that at least she’s still being cautious rather than outright hostile. Time to help her make the right decision.  
“You’re right, there probably are,” you agree, taking a single step closer until you’re standing just inside her personal bubble of space. “Why don’t you step aside and let me go find one?” You let your lips stretch outwards into a humourless grin, showing every single one of your teeth to her as you move forward another step. After only a moment of hesitation she pulls back out of your space, and smelling victory you keep moving and pick up the pace. She moves to the side pretty quickly after that, bowing her head with the respect due a superior as you stride past, and you keep moving like your back isn’t prickling with the expectation of a crossbow bolt until you’ve crossed the courtyard and slipped through a side door into a disused cloister between the main kitchen block and the eastern guest quarters. Even then you don’t stop, deliberately losing yourself in a maze of corridors built over successive architectural generations until you finally find a quiet alcove where you can sit and take a few deep breaths.

When she starts thinking straight, it won’t matter if your little Lawkeeper is the assassin or not because she’ll go straight to the Temple with what she saw. The High Priestess will know that you know, and then she’ll make her decision based on whether she thinks you’ll cooperate or not. Either way it doesn’t matter, because by the time that decision is ready to implement you intend to be an open traitor and long gone, but it does mean that your life depends on this plan as immediately as Gamzee’s does. With a small sigh- you could have done without this complication- you settle your bundle of evidence down beside you and take a look at the letter which caused all this trouble by showing up at the worst possible time.

You read it three times, then spend the next ten minutes laughing.

It’s Kanaya, alright. From the way she writes capitals at the start of every word to the politely veiled threat at the end, it’s her, and she's alright and she's coming to find you. Usually you don't believe in luck or coincidence, and this time is no exception- what are the chances that she'd be hired by Jake's sister, who is almost certainly marked, just in time to help you rescue some more divinely marked people you just met? You sense some manner of destiny at work here, but if destiny is seeing fit to throw reliable allies your way you aren't going to complain.

You also aren't going to put all your faith in it. Kanaya says it will take her a few days to arrive, and although you don't know when she sent the letter you suspect you will have left long before then. Her assistance will be invaluable in caverns of the Dragonshards, and the idea that destiny wants you to reunite is promising, but ultimately it is still down to you to discover a means of escape. Good thing there's still one place you haven't looked.

The House Yetenekli guards are surprised to see you approach, although they try to hide it. You appraise them as you draw near; both women, so most likely higher-ranked. All of the rooms offered to the Lady Esin are watched by her guards now, of course, but this out-of-the-way outbuilding is of the most interest to you because of all the areas ceded to her and her household, this is the only one that has been forbidden even to her own people. You watch comings and goings, and nobody but the Yetenekli Matriarch has stepped through those doors since she arrived. Whatever it is that she's trading for Gamzee's hand, whatever it is that the Temple fears enough to start a civil war over, you're willing to bet it's in here.

Two slim swords cross as you approach the door. “No entry,” says the left-hand guard. You look at her and tilt your head.

“Says who?” you ask, smiling pleasantly.

“Orders of the Lady Yetenekli,” says the guard on the right. You nod, expecting nothing less. Under normal circumstances, you would thank them for their diligence and turn back. There are a hundred plans that could tell you what was in this room safely and without repercussion. You could bribe a servant to spy for you, or sneak back under cover of darkness. You could cosy up to Lady Yetenekli herself until she willingly showed you. You could even obtain a lawful warrant from the Temple, although that would be blunt and tactless. But the problem with all these plans is that they would simply take too long.

Oh, well. It isn't as if you need any of this to hold up more than a few hours. Instead of backing off, you take a step closer and look pointedly at the swords barring your way. “So does your mistress make a habit of defying the Temple of the Seer, or is this an isolated case?”

You love the way they share a glance, trying to work out how to answer that one without accidentally committing either heresy or treason. “Our mistress is a loyal servant of the Goddesses,” right-hand guard says slowly, after some thought.

You snort and fold your arms, the very picture of an unimpressed inquisitor. “Then am I to understand that you personally have a problem with me, guard?”

Both women pale impressively. “No, your holiness!”

“It's just...” the left-hand guard stammers. “Well, your holiness, I don't think our mistress thought you would be coming by, and we were given orders not to let anyone but our mistress in.”

You are impressed by her courage, but fix your glare on her anyway. “And do her orders take precedence over the will of the Seer?”

“Of course not, your Holiness,” the poor woman says, and you feel somewhat bad for her because to be caught between the fury of a God and a Matriarch is a terrible thing. “If, ah, you will just allow one of us to go and find our mistress, I am sure she will provide permission...”

You draw yourself up and put on your best affronted face. “Permission? Do you think I am some petty little acolyte, to be given leave to go where I will?” As they stammer, you turn and pull down your collar to show the mark on the back of your neck. They fall silent and you turn back, chin raised in pride. “I am the chosen soul of the Goddess herself, and I want to go through that door. What do you say?”

The two guards share another look, then with a scrape of metal their swords uncross and they stand aside. “This way, your radiance,” mutters the right-hand guard. You favour her with a smile and step through the door with every ounce of arrogance and swagger you've ever summoned in your life. Then, as the doors swing shut behind you, you see the room and the false smile becomes a genuine grin.

Spread out before you is a workshop; you recognise various pieces of alchemical equipment, but the rest of the tools seem more mechanical in nature. You even catch sight of what must be a small but functioning forge in one corner. Around you in vials and bottles and boxes and laid out in pieces on cloth are hundreds of small wonders, worth thousands upon thousands of gold pieces, but you only have eyes for the far end of the lab where a single creation dominates the room.

Elfin in shape and easily fifteen feet tall, the invention is a spindly thing held together by spars and joints that flash the same bright silver as the armour Jake wore. Between the joints, all along its elongated arms and odd, recurved legs are flexible tubes of virulent fluid; at one end they link into a circular chamber of brass within the filigree of its chest cavity. At the other end of the tubes, over its articulated fingers, are wickedly sharp needles that are all too easy to imagine sinking into delicate flesh. Its whole shape is slightly hunched and predatory, built for speed and durability despite its slenderness. You shudder as your eyes travel up to its head, where an armoured dome does nothing to conceal a pair of all-too organic eyeballs as they bob in a pool visceral fluid and stare blankly at nothing.

Your eyes stay fixed on the strange golem as you approach it, your mind already racing through the possibilities. A thing like this would be expensive and difficult to create, but if House Kutsanmis were to front the money then House Yetenekli clearly has the skill. A soldier of metal and poisons, perfectly obedient to its mistress and deadly to her foes; an army of these could topple any opposition, given the right orders. The Temple was right to fear it- and even more foolish than you thought to act how they have been. House Yetenekli could go to any other House, to _every_ other House, and offer this without fear of refusal. Only House Canavar with their ancient Drider Pits- unimitated anywhere else- and undying piety would turn such an offer down. Your lip curls in distaste as you imagine the carnage that would result from Yetenekli's vengeance; there is no way she wouldn't make more of these to suit her designs. Even if you could work out how to destroy it, you would only be delaying the inevitable.

On the other hand, you don't want to destroy it just yet, because this abominable machine of death has given you exactly what you were looking for; a plan. You wink at the empty eyes of the construct, then very carefully set the fragments of the poison vial down on a nearby table. Fragments of parchment are all over the workshop and you quickly locate an inkpot and pen, writing a brief note to sit beside your recovered evidence.

LOOK 1N TH3 D3C4NT3R 4ND TH3 CUP 1N G4MZ33S OLD CH4MB3RS, TH3N 1N TH3 D1SUS3D PR1VY SH4FT 4T TH3 FOOT OF TH3 TOW3R.

JUST1C3 PR3V41LS

If she's half the alchemist she's meant to be, that will be enough evidence for the Lady Yetenekli to put two and two together. Once the truth is out, things will get messy, but you can't really bring yourself to care. Justice denied comes back vengeful, or so the saying goes.

You take one last glance at the waiting golem, then round the room at the scattered works of genius. Yes. This plan should serve perfectly.

You're still grinning when you leave the workshop to go and find your allies, and the Yetenekli guards on the door are too frightened to ask you why.  


### Suggestions Used

 _UDMonk –_ Terezi: Advance the plot the only way you know how. WITH GREAT JUSTICE.

 _Ephemeral_Dreamer –_ Terezi: Snoop around. Right now you're severely lacking Information and that kills people.

 _Marycontrary –_ I think Terezi would be disgusted by the sale and torture of Gamzee and curious to hear more about the god marks on Karkat. Let's have her investigate.

 _MASK –_ Terezi: Investigate the assassin, and check more into the Kutsanmis bride-to-be's dealings.

 _MASK –_ Terezi: discover a shocking truth.

 _LostSock -_ Terezi: Receive your old friend's message at a very inconvenient time. Attempt cover-up if needed.

 _RandomGal -_ Terezi: Receive a most unusual letter. Good fortune has been gifted to you! Now your sister is coming back to help you with this stuff!

 _Ephemeral_Dreamer –_ Terezi: Assess the situation

 _Unholygrunt –_ Terezi: Scheme

 _RandomGal -_ Terezi: Figure out how you're going to smuggle two slaves(one of which is elvish) and the groom out before the wedding. Pull awesome shenanigans.

[System Notes](http://celynbrum.tumblr.com/post/59701987236/lodad-system-notes-chapter-25)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've mostly written the next chapter too, as there was a chance this one and that one would affect each other. I don't think they will, but they could have done.
> 
> Have fun imagining what Terezi's planning, y'all. :)
> 
> Also! I have made some edits/changes to previous chapters:
> 
>  **Chapter 22 –** Added a suggestion that I noticed I'd accidentally filled as best as I'm gonna [ _WhiteTiger1221 –_ Terezi: Use your cunning and guile to find out how to remove the collars.]
> 
>  **Chapters 3 and 19 –** Altered Sollux's character build to get his race better (ie: almost entirely based on legit half-elf build) and use the Sage wildblooded variant on the Arcane Bloodline and the Karmic wildblooded variant on the Destined Bloodline. This has had some knock-on changes to other abilities and it is possible that certain events could have played out differently on this build; if so, I am not retconning them. Put it down to the cursed pool of drowning again; it is also the cursed pool of doing bad things to crossblooded, wildblooded sorcerers.
> 
> I have been informed that some people are of the opinion that using crossblooded to combine two wildblooded bloodlines that replace the same bloodline power is against the rules. To these people I say; stop being idiots. Crossblooded rules clearly state that at “1st, 3rd, 9th, 15th, and 20th levels, a crossblooded sorcerer gains one of the two new bloodline powers **available to her at that level.** She may instead select a lower-level bloodline power she did not choose in place of one of these higher-level powers.” So I'm not replacing the SAME class feature, I'm replacing two different class features- namely, the two options I get to choose from! And you can tell this is the case because if at a later point I do “select a lower-level bloodline power she did not choose” the remaining 1st level option will be the substituted power from the second wildblood bloodline.
> 
> So nyer nyer nyer with brass bells on. :P
> 
> EDIT:  
> Moved the notes from the top of the chapter to the bottom, and farmed system notes out to Tumblr.


	26. ==> Gamzee: Keep Some Motherfucking Promises

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **WARNINGS FOR:** Drug Abuse, Implied/Threatened Non-Con and Implied/Threatened Dub-Con.
> 
>  **Hero point votes:**  
>  John 1  
> Jade 1  
> Karkat 2  
> Terezi 2
> 
> Award is next chapter!

## ==> Gamzee: Keep Some Motherfucking Promises

The priestess is saying something what is probably wicked important, but you can’t really be all up and listening to that shit because you’re too busy watching her lips move. They’re all kinda grey and cracked and maybe slightly stained green and you think maybe a sister’s been all partaking of some bitching sweet alchemical concoctions herself, which is some sort of miracle coincidence because right now you are higher than a motherfucking kite. You gotta be wondering how those little motherfuckers even know how to be all flying their shit up there, motherfucking magic and miracles is what it is, because kites are all up and being the highest thing what there ever is except maybe what your thinkpan is all busy being right now.

You giggle, because thinkpan is a funny word and you ain’t even got your wonder on to conceive of where all this miraculous vocabulatory shit is even up and coming from. Every last motherfucker in the room starts getting their glare on at you but you really don’t give a shit right now. Ain’t like it matters none anyhow. Your mother got you all up and rehearsing this wedding shit every motherfucking day for weeks now, you got it down so good you could be all doing it in your sleep. You think maybe one or two times you even did do it in your sleep, all getting your dream on as how you was getting your ass married only instead of a drow you was marrying like some massive beetle with razor jaws or some kinda heap of toxic ooze what was gonna get its mad slaughter on all over you unless you ran the fuck away or said no, only your feet was all up and glued to the spot and your voice was all being as how it wouldn’t say nothing but what the words you’d already been taught to say.

_**Hours in the past, but not many...** _

_“Look, if this is going to work, you’re going to have to stay focused,” says Karkat, all getting his pace on along one side of your room only to turn and be all going back again when he’s reaching the wall. “This entire plan is a complete clusterfuck waiting to happen as it is, but given that it’s our only option I’d like to at least have a remote vanishing pinprick of a chance that this bad joke is actually going to work in our favour.”_

_“I agree,” Jakebro says, getting his lean on over the back of the seat what he’s up and stolen from you. “I mean, I’m no expert, but it hardly seems like a top-notch idea to be getting yourself into an altered mental state right now.”_

_You get to snarling at both of them, shit up in your head all tense with the first pangs of withdrawal and heart weary of getting your argue on with your main motherfuckers. “You motherfuckers know a brother’s up and being the best choice for getting myself on up over this beetleshit, but I am not gonna be all up and doing it with my ass sober. Ain’t like it’s no kind of miracles I ain’t all up and chased before, anyhow.”_

_“Yeah,” says Karkat, pausing to be all up and studying you from beneath close-drawn caterpillar eyebrows. “But this time all three of us are fucked if the wrong synapse fires in that hollow can you call a head.”_

_Nodding all solemn-like, you acknowledge his excellent and valid point. “Chill, best friend,” you tell him, all up and reaching for your very favourite of boxes to be pulling out a cube of sticky resin, dusted with sugar to sweeten that bitter motherfucker up, and a paper-wrapped lozenge that don’t need to be any kind of sweeter than what it already is. “Trust a motherfucker to know what he’s doing here.”_

_**Now...** _

Your fiancée is looking bitchtits radiant, you think, although the pair of you ain’t even dressed in your wedding clothes yet. That’s where you’re all up and headed after this, while she’s getting her sign on for contracts with your mother. But then you reckon that maybe everyone in this room looks pretty motherfucking fine right now, which is probably because in addition to your usual wicked miracles you all up and swallowed yourself a little treat in order to be making you everyone’s favourite fucktoy. In all them whiles since you last took this shit you all up and got your forget on as to how your skin gets itself eyes after; it’s a miracle how it’s all up and knowing where it’s all being watched from, and how it’s always yelling at you how motherfucking beautiful it would be to get some hands up in this business, maybe some lips too. Ain’t really got no mind on as to who them bitchtits parts are all up and attached to so long as that motherfucker starts touching and don’t never ever stop. Makes it hard as all as is holy to be getting your concentrate on when your head’s all thinking how beautiful cool the stone of the altar would be on your bare skin, or how you could sink deep into one of them sweet-ass tapestries against the wall if only one of these smoking hot motherfuckers here would push you all up against it.

The priestess is all up and droning about how you’re gonna have to be getting your divine-witnessed oath on later about all kinds of loyalty and obedience and shit like that. Other half of the arrangement’s all about looking after you and keeping you kinda happy like you’re all up and being some sort of elf-shaped pet, which is patronising as all hells but shit, you ain’t never heard of a wedding what went some other way. Transfer of ownership from mother to wife, that’s all this shit is, and it ain’t gonna matter one bit if you can pull off the plans what your brother and lawsis all up and made for you.

He’s glaring at you all red-eyed and grouchy across the altar as the priestess is getting to showing you and your bride-to-be the ribbon and the dagger and them little miracle bottles that’ll make it so as you can have kids together later. Your best friend and Jakebro are gonna be at the ceremony mostly to look all decorative and shit, but apparently they still gotta be all practising the part where they stand real still and don’t do nothing for all the time what they’re there. They got to be getting all tired and shit because even as a summary this ceremony is a motherfucking drag. You didn’t even all up and dare take your shit before you came here- Pesh’ll last but your little miracle eyecandies are only good for a turn of the glass. Good for you that you’ve all up and got the knowing of how long this ceremony is being; when you got to the bit with the bread and the praying you had yourself a bit extra, and although you got a suspicion you was spotted it don’t really matter none. Ain’t a soul here expects better of you than that save maybe your brother and Jakebro. Maybe only the Goddesses are up and knowing why, though, because you sure as spiders got your agree on with the other motherfuckers round here that you don’t seem to be useful for all that much but a good time.

Priestess is all up and running her words through them last few prayers and the bit with the parchment, and unless you get your act all together now the next time you’re hearing them you’ll up and be a married man. As your bride turns to leave the altar you reach out and grab her sleeve, being sure to keep the grip wicked gentle. Don’t want to be all getting her wrathful on, not with what you’re thinking on doing.

She gets to turning to be looking at you, eyes narrowed and you ain’t even got the thoughts to know what that’s meaning except that you’re all up and on fire and she’s right there and you got to do this now, before it’s getting any later and the time runs out of the bottom of the glass. “Hey, sister,” you say, knowing that you ain’t saying shit right but finding it real motherfucking hard to care any, “I been getting my think on that while we’re up and practising there’s maybe some other shit we gotta try get our rehearse on for.”

Lady all up and opens her mouth like she’s gonna say something but you decide not to let it out in case it’s a refusal. She freezes a moment when you grab her and pull yourself close, all up and fitting your body flush with hers, locking your mouth to her lips and remembering year on year of kisses what you’ve had given to you and learned how to pass on. You’re a motherfucking artisan of sloppy makeouts and you give her your most bitchtits masterpiece, and all that shit what you’ve got up in your system screams “YES!” because if she was all up and telling you to get on your knees and perform in front of all the guards and the priestess and your bro you would be all over that shit and no helping it.

_**Hours in the past, but not many...** _

_“Well unless she’s in the habit of leaving it lying around, which seems about as likely as me becoming the High Priestess of the Seer and showing the collected Conclave of Matriarchs my well-polished buttocks, I can only think of one way to even get close to that necklace.”_

_You absently get to petting one of your cushions, all that bitchtits velvety softness up and being a miracle at your fingertips. Your brother is up and pouring water out from your decanter, and you get to all focusing on his words so you ain’t got to be thinking about the nagging empty ache up in you from how you ain’t had no Pesh yet today. “Yeah?” you say, all showing some righteous attentive listening going on._

_Karkat closes his eyes in a way what seems wicked worried. “I can’t fucking believe I’m saying this, but one of us is going to have to seduce the creepy old hag.”_

_Jakebro makes a gagging noise. “I say, isn’t that asking a bit much of a chap?”_

_“She’s a fucking matriarch,” Karbro says, putting a hand up to cover his face and not opening his eyes none. “They spend their whole godsdamned lives on edge waiting for deception and betrayal; we need every edge we can get and this is still probably going to end with us on the breaking wheel.”_

_From the look what the surface elf is all up and getting on his face you don’t think he’s got the knowing of what a breaking wheel is, which is most like to be a real blessing of a miracle so you ain’t planning to enlighten him none. “Shit, bro, all sounds to me like I got me all the knowing I’m gonna up and need to be all getting that shit done,” you say, and Karkat gives you a Look as he sets his four little miracle bottles down by the water jug._

_“First up, and I do acknowledge it’s an exercise in utter futility to tell you this again, ‘all’ has an actual fucking meaning; it’s not just there for you to use your voice up on, you vapid beetlebrained excuse for a waste of breath,” he snaps. “And second, you aren’t going after our illustrious mistress, may her tomb be desecrated by incontinent alchemical aberrations, because I’m doing that part myself.”_

_You shake your head vehemently and do your best to be ignoring how your brain does its rattling thing inside like it’s secretly being a lead weight. “No way, best friend. Sister’s a wicked nasty motherfucker and ain’t nobody going to give no kind of caring what she does to some slave what’s all up and being her own personal property anyhow. I can do it; she wouldn’t dare hurt me none, leastwise not before our asses are all married proper-like.”_

_“She’ll hurt me either way, idiot,” Karbro mutters, but you know you all up and made yourself an impression on the insides of his thinking from how he doesn’t up and meet your eyes._

_“This is probably a very silly question,” Jake says slowly, looking between the two of you, “but how do we know this will work? After all, we’ll be in a spot of bother if she’s not interested in your, uh… masculine wiles?”_

_Karkat goes giving the surface elf a look what’s all furious and shit as he wanders aimless across the room. “Are you kidding me? Is there a joke here in of which I am both the butt and the audience, because if so I am not finding it funny in the slightest.” When Jakebro continues to look bemused he all goes throwing his hands up in the air. “For fuck’s sake, Quartzkin, did you not notice how she was ogling the pair of us earlier? Grabbing the rear end of every male guard and one or two of the female ones on the way up? Giving Gamzee a look like she was a starving cat and he was a joint of meat?”_

_Jakebro flushes red, which is in your head one hells of a colour to be all up and turning. “I was trying to give her the benefit of the doubt,” he says awkwardly. Karkat gets his eyes all rolling round like little red marbles in his face._

_“There is no fucking doubt and she doesn’t need any more benefits,” he says, eyes narrowing as he stares at his fellow slave. “She’s a horny old coot and sex is going to sell this to her like nothing else.” He sighs and turns back to you, looking all regretful-like. “Just so you know, I hate to admit it, and I would rather have every tooth in my head yanked out by profiteering scumboots than ever have anyone else know I ever said this, but you’re right. Me or Jake’d do a shitty job of this, the absolute fucking worst job ever conceived, and you might not, which means you’re the best candidate of the three of us.” He scowls all deep. “Congratu-fucking-lations.”_

_You think about the idea of touching the Lady Yetenekli again- of letting her touch you- and a shiver runs through your whole body. You kind of want to back out, but you already told Karkat you could do this, so instead you grin broadly._

_“No motherfucking problem, brother,” you say, all up and patting the box where you keep your wicked special supplies. “I got me some bitchtits miracles up in here to keep this shit all kinds of simple.”_

_**Now...** _

The slap is unexpected and the small jolt of pain sets something inside you to bubbling, all the heat what was pooling at your centre getting to shift and swirl around something dark and purple. Before you can really get your understand on about that, though, you got a hand tugging up in your collar and your shit is all up and being yanked in for another kiss what, if you were having to find one word for it out of all the miracle words ever been thought of, you would be calling it “brutal”. Part of you is all up and scared stiff by what’s going down and that dark purple motherfucker is getting its giggle on which would be the most terrifying shit of all, except your body is pretty fucking keen on where this shit is headed and you figure it ain’t no kind of problem to just go along with that.

The Lady pulls back, guiding you after her with one hand what’s all resting on your arm. You obediently get to following, hands all up and resting on her hips as you’re moving, teeth nipping all gentle at the soft skin on her neck. She all up and smells like flowers and old lady perfume and something else underneath what you ain’t got the knowing of, sharp and acid, so what she’s really smelling of is lies. The thought makes you grin as you nuzzle into her shoulder and the dark purple bit howls with what you’re hoping is fucking laughter because otherwise shit is gonna get problematic. You catch sight of the glint of gold changing hands and it’s a real motherfucking relief, because it would’ve taken most of the money you got to bribe the guards into dropping all that chaperone shit and you’re gonna need that when you’re running later. You can all up and hear the priestess tutting as she gets her leave on, but you know that bitch don’t really care none about what you’re doing. You are the motherfucking expert on the shit people do what they ain’t supposed to, and neither you nor your betrothed are caring none what people think of you so long as you’re all up and getting what you want. You guess maybe that’s a thing you have in common but you ain’t wanting to be all getting your dwell on about it, so instead you kiss all up her neck and nibble on her ear so she gets to breathing a little heavier in yours.

You get your ass dragged over to a door in the side of the chapel, and you share one last look with your best friend before your fiancée is tugging you into someplace more private. Motherfucker don’t ever look happy but this time he looks even less happy than the usual, and you want to be telling him that shit’s gonna be fine, you got this, only you can’t on account of how your mouth’s busy with hers and you gotta be sure and close your eyes before she gets some kind of suspect on about your conspiring. Room you’re in is small and dark and there’s books what scatter on the floor as you scoot up onto a table and let your legs get themselves all wrapped around her waist. There’s a hand in the small of your back to hold you close and another one slipping all sneaky-like up inside your shirt and the touch is burning like motherfucking ice all the way down to the core of you. You want more, want to drink her in and climb all up inside her until you ain’t even two separate beings no more. You want to scream in her face and push her away and be sick all over the floor. You settle for bringing your own hands up to wrap around behind her neck and stroke the hair what’s growing there, capturing her mouth with yours and closing your eyes so you don’t gotta see what it is you’re doing.

Calloused fingers, rough with alchemical scarring, trace the bones under your skin and leave you shivering. You don’t want this, you really motherfucking don’t, but you took that motherfucking shit and it’s burning in you like a fire what pushes you on and on and on and it won’t. FUCKING. Stop. The dark purple part of you is laughing its motherfucking ass off at what you’re doing and you know what that motherfucker is now. The Bard likes to mock you any time he’s getting a chance, all up and calling you pathetic and weak and worthless for not being like him.

You ain’t worthless, though; you got a job to be doing. The knowledge sits all up in the front of your mind like a motherfucking shield and you make sure to be using it. You let your overstimulated body take care of keeping the Lady Yetenekli’s attention and get to putting all of your attention on your fingers, wandering them up and down her neck and sliding them all through her hair and slipping them all up under the chain of her pendant. You give it a few seconds after that, kissing and pressing and moaning when her hands wander all up over your fever-hot skin. She don’t seem to be getting her notice on to nothing, so you rub at her neck with one hand and use the other to fiddle with the catch.

_**Hours in the past, but not many...** _

_Karkat gets his glare on at you. “Look, I’ve spent my whole life surviving by separating assholes from their possessions. The whole point here is misdirection.”_

_You roll onto your stomach, watching as your bro scans the floor and picks up discarded potion bottles. “What’s that all up and being?” you ask._

_“I believe it’s another word for a distraction,” Jakebro says, piping up all helpful-like. You dig him; he’s a pretty cool motherfucker, real nice body and shit if that gung-ho innocence ain’t all up and kinda being a turn-on. You go all up putting a pin in them thoughts, though, on account of how this ain’t even close to being the right sort of time for them._

_“If I’d meant distraction I’d have said distraction,” Karkat snaps. “Look, the idea is that you get the mark’s attention focused somewhere else, on something else, so they don’t realise they’re being ripped off. It’s basic, okay, a hatchling can do this shit in the Shanties. I’m sure that you two and your fancy-ass upbringings can cope.”_

_"But..." Jake begins. Karbro rolls his eyes and goes on up to him, holding out some crumpled-up tunic of yours what he just picked up off the floor._

_"Hey, asshole, you see this?"_

_"Yes, it's a tunic," Jake says, glancing at it. Karbro leans in a whole bit closer._

_"You see this stain here?"_

_"Yes?"_

_Karkat's other hand all up and comes round to be slapping Jakebro on the side of his head while he's looking away. "Misdirection, fuckass."_

_You frown as your thoughts all up and let you know something ain’t kosher. “But bro, ain’t a Matriarch gonna be all up and knowing that shit too?”_

_“That’s exactly why we go after the necklace,” your brother says, all up dropping the tunic and taking his collected bottles and getting his walk on over to the side where there’s being a decanter of water. Jakebro up and looked at it when it arrived and you’re all thinking it’s clean from poison, but ain’t a thing you’re in some hurry to test._

_Jakebro looks between the two of you, his face getting all its bewilder on, and truth be told you kinda know the feeling on account of how you don’t really got your understand on of this plan just yet. “So… if it’s not too much of a bother, do you think you could explain how the devil-fucking dickens you’re going to do that?”_

_**Now...** _

There is a pause all up in the hand what’s tracing your ass, and you feel her lips brush against your ear as she whispers; “Gamzee, darling?”

“Yeah?” you reply, still trying to get the catch all unlocked and rocking yourself against her in what’s all up and being the most distracting way you can be thinking of right now.

“You do realise I can’t let you take my pendant, don’t you?”

You freeze, an ice statue all locked up in her arms as she chuckles. You can be all feeling it as it’s spreading out of her chest, before it’s even hitting the air to be heard, and you ain’t so sure if you want to pull away or keep going but it don’t matter none because you don’t even dare fucking breathe right now.

“Oh, my precious boy,” she says, and steps back. Your arms part to let her out and then go dropping all loose and floppy by your sides. You didn’t tell them to do that, but that’s the motherfucking miracle of arms what got some sensible ideas in them. You get your stare on at your fiancée, who’s smiling in a way what should be gentle or understanding except it’s far too motherfucking cutting for that. “Let me guess, your little shanty friend put you up to this, didn’t he?”

You want to say no real bad, want to deny it and protect Karkat, but you can’t. Her smile grows all wider and thinner as you nod, and one of her hands comes up to cup your face. Inside you, the Bard gets to chuckling, and you keep your eyes all fixed on the Lady because elsewise you might get to seeing his knife-edged grinning all up on the inside of your head.

“Oh, my poor dear,” she says with a sigh that ain’t even close to sounding real. “It’s endearing, really, but this has to stop.” Your heart pounds away and you grip the edges of the table with your knuckles turning all white. Your body is pretty motherfucking certain that it ain’t interested in words right now and the Bard is laughing loud enough to be splitting your skull and spilling all that blood and brains you got in you out across the scattered books, and you know you gotta be all wicked strong for a change and say no to both.

“Do either of you even have a plan for what to do after running away?” your fiancée asks. Her voice is concerned and her eyes are all up and laughing and you hate her, you FUCKING HATE HER because you ain’t got a plan and she KNOWS IT, the EVIL BITCH. “Poor things, you don’t, do you?” She shakes her head and you watch it move, getting your imagine on to all the ways that pretty motherfucking neck could twist and bend (and break) to please you. “I know you adore him, pet, and I’m sure it seems ever so romantic and heroic to go to these lengths for your little friend, but in the end he’s nothing but a gutter thief. Were you really going to cut him loose, stay here all alone with little old me, just so he could go back to the slums to live on stolen scraps and discarded trash?”

Yes, if you had to. In a heartbeat.

IS THAT A PROBLEM, FUCKER?

“No, you were going to go with him, weren’t you?” She pats your face softly and for some reason the gentle touch is all up and feeling like the harshest violation, a motherfucking liberty worse than any what she’s taken with you so far or is planning all up in that sick old head of hers. Your insides go all still as the Bard stops his laughing, and motherFUCK you can see his grin now and it’s worse than what you thought you remembered because it ain’t happy, not even in the tiniest part (gonna kill some motherfuckers, gonna tear them apart for this, it ain’t her PLACE and you are gonna TEACH HER to be RIGHTEOUS AFRAID).

“So what was the idea?” she asks, hand dropping and all trailing up against your shoulder. “Heading for the surface, perhaps?” She leans and her breath is hot and seductive and maddening (you want her dead YOU WANT HER SCREAMING) as she whispers up in the shell of your ear. “Did you really think that two sickles and a bad temper would keep you safe from the monsters?”

No. (YES.)

“And even if you made it, what then?” This whole thing’s a motherfucking joke to her, a game where you ain’t even a player but a toy, and it don’t matter how hard you’re trying to be still because all that noise up inside you is getting you shivering like it’s cold in here. “Whatever world there is up there, do you honestly think it makes places for people like you to live happily ever after? They have Shanties there too, my darling, and if you and he run then that life is the best you can hope for.”

You don’t got an answer to that; fear (FURY) makes your voice vanish off someplace far away. You watch her instead, blue eyes (you HATE blue, can’t MOTHERFUCKING STAND it, it’s all full of THIEVES and LIARS and TRAITORS and WEAKNESS) narrowing as she drops that motherfucking pretence of giving a shit.

“How long do you think it would be before you had to choose between starvation and sobriety?” she all up and asks you, like Karbro wouldn’t hold you down to be forcing his food down your throat if it came to it. “How long before you didn’t even have that choice?”

You know you and your brother wouldn’t starve.

YOU WOULDN’T MOTHERFUCKING LET THAT SHIT HAPPEN.

“As long as he wears my collar, Karkat has a place to stay,” your fiancée says, cupping your head between both of them rough alchemist hands and all brushing your hair with her thumbs. “He has food, a bed, and you, which is far more than you can hope to offer him. You as my husband have the same, and of course you need only ask and I will happily provide you with any substance your heart desires.” She gets all smiley at you, a wicked sharp grin. “I am an alchemist, after all, and soon to be a rich one. Really, dear one, do you truly think I can’t keep you happy for the rest of your life if you please me?”

You wish you was smarter, because there ain’t a thing she’s saying what sounds false but when you add it all together up in your head it makes you so motherfucking afraid (SO FUCKING MAD). She’s wrong, she’s wrong in every motherfucking way, and you don’t know why or how to answer.

The Bard says, kill her and she’ll know why. YOU GOT TEETH, THERE’S HER FUCKING THROAT.

You don’t move. You don’t breathe. You hang your motherfucking head so your hair is all up in your face and she can’t see what expression you got while you’re shaking.

“So, are you ready to forget this silliness and behave?”

Nod. Nod. Your mind is so fucking loud right now, you can’t even get to believing all the noise up in there. You are scared shitless. You are wicked furious. You want to fuck her. You want to kill her. You’re pretty motherfucking certain you want to kill her then fuck her then spend the rest of the day finger-painting on the walls in pretty red blood, but you’re all up and being equally sure that Karbro wouldn’t like that none, so instead of cutting loose you lean forward and get your kiss on, one more time. Her lips are all up and being slimy like slugs. She sickens you and you can’t motherfucking help that you’re desperate enough to want her anyway.

“Best motherfucking behaviour,” you whisper, and ain’t your fault that BITCH don’t get to thinking to check what that best might be. Her hand on your arm guides you back to the door and out into the chapel, where you got all them guards and Karbro and Jakebro all staring at your mussed-up selves like they weren’t just listening at the door like the SNEAKY LITTLE MOTHERFUCKING RATS THEY ARE. You know for sure they was listening, because they all get to backing away from Karkat when the Lady’s walking up to him, and Jakebro even goes ducking behind the altar all pale like you ain’t even seen before.

Karkat don’t move none, though, not until your betrothed hooks a finger under that pretty little lying collar and tugs him close and whispers something what none of the rest of you can hear. He moves plenty after though, if dropping like a motherfucking stone and thrashing all about on the ground counts.

There’s a good few seconds of shallow gasps, all filled with small whimpers and cracked-up sobs, before your best friend starts screaming. You force yourself to watch, keep your eyes locked on him howling and thrashing and throwing in the occasional curse or ten, because you can’t look away. You can’t fucking risk what happens if you ain’t seen to be giving this little scene your full, undivided attention. Out the corners of your eyes you can tell you ain’t the only gawker but you ain’t gonna lift your head and see if the guards are scared or sympathetic or mocking of this shit.

You thought you might lose it, seeing this, but you don’t. All that rage what’s been growing up inside you just kinda blossoms, until there ain’t nothing but hatred and vengeance up in your mind, and it is sharp and cold and clear and, yeah, it’s a motherfucking miracle because the world just became a wicked simple place.

There is you. There is Karkat.

AND THERE IS EVERY LAST MOTHERFUCKER YOU ARE GONNA SLAUGHTER.

Feels like forever but it ain’t even more than a few seconds in truth before the Lady bends down and whispers some word you ain’t all hearing again. Karbro all up and stops and if it weren’t for a bit of shakiness and jagged breathing you wouldn’t even be thinking there was a thing wrong as he gets to his feet. You’re there in an instant, helping support him and watching your future wife all wary as she smiles and gets her triumphant on at the pair of you.

“Later, Gamzee darling,” she says, and you nod before limping towards the door and slipping out into the corridor. You’re halfway down it before your rage starts to run thin and then you get all clumsy and stumble, and then somehow Karkat’s the one supporting you. All the angry bleeds out of you at once and you are so motherfucking tired it ain’t even real, but you got enough left in you to tilt your head and grin at him.

“Hey, bro, shit motherfucking worked,” you say. He ain’t looking a whole lot better than you, all dark bags under his eyes and frazzled by the collar, but the rare smile you get back is worth every motherfucking moment of what you both just went through.

“No, really, you think? Come on, idiot,” he replies, guiding you back towards your rooms.

_**Hours in the past, but not many...** _

_“We can’t get the pendant.”_

_Jakebro all up and looks at your brother dismayed-like. “But Terezi said…”_

_“Terezi is a Lawkeeper,” Karbro snaps, getting up from his position all snug and cosy in your arms to get his stalk on across the room. “She thinks all thieves are the same, but we’re not, okay? I’m not a burglar and I’m sure as spiders not a pickpocket. I can’t steal a piece of jewellery someone’s fucking wearing and expect them not to notice, so unless one of you two geniuses has been hiding a secret identity as a master thief then we’re shit out of luck with that idea.”_

_“So what alternative do you propose?” Jakebro says, all folding his arms and getting all commanding and shit. “We can hardly just leave the collars on if we’re planning to make a break for it!”_

_“I didn’t say that we would!” your best friend all up and yells back, shoving himself up in the corner of the room and getting his glower on at both of you. “She said Remove Curse would do it, right?” he asks, voice all up and quieter._

_“Yes,” Jake confirms. “But I don’t know any magic! As you said, unless one of you is hiding a secret identity…”_

_Karbro shakes his head all impatient-like. “No, idiot, we’re not fucking wizards,” he says all scowling. You want to be hugging him and smoothing all them angry lines out from his face before they get to sinking in, but he’s all up and being way over there and you ain’t up and taken your miracle drug today. You don’t want your head to get to spinning if you stand. “We’re going to use potions.”_

_Takes you a full half a minute longer than what it should be doing to work that shit out, especially what with your brother looking at you all expectant-like, but when it clicks you beam at him. “Oh, yeah! Them Remove Curse potions what we got in for the wedding! They’ll all be up and on the altar soon!”_

_“Wait, what?”_

_You look at Jakebro, who’s seeming kind of adorable when he’s being confused and shit, and wave a hand lazily in the air. “Shit, bro, you think this motherfucker woulda been allowed all kinds of naked shenanigans up in here unless his Matriarch was well convinced she weren’t gonna be no kind of unplanned grandmother?”_

_“Pretty much all the noble houses curse their kids for safety,” Karkat says. “Plus any other unmarried family members. Which means that almost all noble weddings include multiple potions of Remove Curse. All we have to do is switch them with some lookalike bottles before the wedding and no asshole is any the wiser.” He nods towards one of the piles of debris on the floor, one what’s got one of your old potion bottles all up and lying on it. “Gamzee, you got many of those about?”_

_“Shit, bro, I get Cure Disease up in here like it ain’t even worth nothing,” you tell him, and grin as your bro gets to hunting through the piles of discarded clothes for bottles. You just had shit brought in piles from your old room, you ain't got the knowing on of what's up here yet. Hopefully you ain't gonna be here long enough to be having that chance, either._

_“So that’s it?” Jakebro asks, starting to rummage through the nearest clothes pile and getting his stop on when he finds something what you know ain’t your own personal underwear. You… might have got yourself a tiny bit busy up in here yesterday, just to try and get some good feels on, before you were all up and knowing Karbro was really okay. “We just switch them and then everything’s fine and dandy?”_

_Karkat all up and snorts. “No,” he says. “Our beloved mistress knows we’re going to try something, I’d bet my last maggoty biscuit on it, and even if she doesn’t we can’t ‘just switch them’ when the damn altar is going to be watched and guarded the whole time.” He looks up at Jakebro and it’s scary, how serious a face what he’s wearing. “That’s why you’re going to switch the potions, and me and Gamzee are going to go after the pendant.”_

_Jake shakes his head, which is more or less what you’re thinking too. “Wait, I thought you said we couldn’t steal the pendant!”_

_“We can’t,” Karkat agrees. “The whole point is that we get caught. Then there’s a complete shit-slinging fuss, everyone looks at us, she gets to feel smug and self-satisfied, and by the time anyone works out what we really did we’re gone.”_

_Jakebro gets to nodding while you all up and think about the plan your best friend is suggesting. It sounds pretty wicked miraculous and all, but in your head you keep thinking how he ain’t said nothing about what kind of motherfucking fuss is going to up and happen when you cross her._

_“You sure this is all up and being a good idea, bro?” you ask._

_**Now...** _

Jake is waiting for you on your couch, four stoppered potion bottles in front of him. He looks over as you come in and you are all up and seeing how he’s got worry and excitement all fighting over his face.

"I say, are you both alright? Because that was quite the hair-raising stunt back there and I..."

You're kind of finding it all wicked shit hard to be coming out with the words for that right now but you don't even got to because your bro just up and shoves him out the way with a hand all up in that sunwalker's face. You all up and keep watching Jakebro as you get all dragged up over to a pile of cushions and dumped on them, though; shit's a real motherfucking bitchtits view. There's a thump as Karbro settles in next to you and then you got your brother all up and curling into your side. You curl right back around him because, shit, you're way up for some sweet cuddling miracle action right now.

"We fucking did it," your best friend whispers, and you ain't seeing it what with how his head is all tucked down under yours but you can be up and feeling that little miracle smile what's growing on his face. "Shitting hells, Gamzee, we actually fucking did it."

Jake's all up and making some sort of noises but you ain't all having no time for that now. Shit in your head's getting its weary on, last flushes of your little harlot sweets working their way out, and you don't want to move just yet although you know you'll have to when they come to be all dressing you up for getting your marriage on.

Door gets to knocking like the thought summoned it, and you all up and cover your eyes and get your groan on. You cannot be dealing with this shit right now; your head is fuzzy as shit and it ain't doing nothing to keep the bard all up and quiet (like anything could THIS MOTHERFUCKER'S THE REAL DEAL). You'd be tempted to be taking some more pesh to deal with that only you're thinking as how that might all up and be a better plan later, like right before you're trying to leave later, so instead you reach out and hang onto your brother like he's a lifeline. Good Karkat. Best friend.

Knock comes again and this time Jake moves, getting them little bottles what you spent all that effort on and tucking them out of sight before he gets himself up and to the door. You get to tightening your grip on Karbro, because you don't give a motherfucking SHIT what any Matriarch is all up and thinking on the matter, you ain't never letting him go. Only then you catch a glimpse of teal and look up and it ain't no Matriarch, it's some Lawkeeper all up and wearing pointy red eyeglasses and you know them from what Karkat all up and said before...

And something else, too, just deep down in you and on the edges, because the Bard's all up and falling silent the moment she walks in and you know, you motherfucking know, that he's got some knowing of her what keeps him being all quiet like a little squeaky mousey thing.

You share a look, you and the woman who is Terezi, and then there's all kinds of talking and planning and she's all up and happy as what you got them potions and Karkat gets to spluttering when she's all saying something nice about that and then everyone gets their quiet on when she's saying all about letters and golems and a plan what sounds pretty motherfucking dangerous and terrifying to you.

sounds good to me, says the Bard. WHERE THE FUCK DO I SIGN UP?

You wrap yourself a little tighter around Karbro and squeeze your eyes shut, fighting off the twisty backwards flipping what your belly all up and decided to do without telling you. You feel the Bard hold on too, feel all that wicked nasty rage twisted up in him even out and ebb away, because even though he motherfucking hates everything by some miracle he loves your brother as much as you do. Gives you some uneasy feelings sometimes, but at least you know you can always be counting on the Bard to be all up and looking out for Karkat, even when you ain't able to.

Ain't neither of you going to let your brother down.

_**Years in the past, but not many...** _

_“What’s wrong?”_

_You open your eyes and look up from Marah’s lap to find her watching you with what’s probably concern. Her fingers don’t stop running through your hair, for which you’re wicked glad. In all your life of looking you ain’t yet found a single thing more comforting than Marah’s gentle fingers, except maybe how she can tell just by looking that you got your worry going on inside. It’s a whole kind of special miracles what are hers alone._

_“You’re gonna leave soon,” you say, and she chuckles._

_“I’ll come back,” she says, and you shake your head, burying your face into her knee like you’re a hatchling still._

_“What if I pay you to stay?” you ask, voice muffled. Her fingers all pause in their work and you could kick yourself when you feel her go all tense._

_“It’s not that simple,” she says, and you wait, fingers digging into her leg until the rest of the answer up and comes spilling out. “Gamzee, I can’t stay here. I have someone waiting for me.”_

_“Your lover,” you say._

_“My son,” she replies, and that’s worse; your stomach’s all up and feeling like it just got punched because there ain’t no way she’ll ever love you more than him and you didn’t even know that was being a thing you wanted until it was already too late._

_Her fingers all get to stroking again and after a while you feel like you at least gotta try, so you say; “Can’t you be all bringing your son up in here? Then you could both get your stay on, with me.” Did that sound whiny? Mother hates it when you whine, so you try not to._

_Marah just chuckles. “My son wouldn’t want to stay here. He can be…” she pauses for a moment, then sighs. “He’s a little shit,” she says, and you grin into her leg at how she’s being all frank and fond at once. One of her hands moves out of your hair and gets to shifting along your arm, stopping over the twisted, cursed mark on your bicep and stroking it in a way what you’d really be up and calling loving. “I think you’d get along, though,” she says, so soft it ain’t even more than a whispered breath._

_You roll over, turn your head up to face her. She ain’t so haughty nor so classical in beauty as what your sisters are like, but she’s small and fine like a little bird, and her eyes are the most beautiful miracle you ever saw. They’re red, a brilliant blood crimson, and you ain’t never seen a pair like them on anyone else. Sometimes when she gets her anger on they flash like fire and you don’t reckon that even Mother could get up and be standing against her; other times when she thinks ain’t nobody looking they all get to looking so tired that you don’t want nothing more than to wrap her up and keep her someplace where she don’t ever want for a thing ever again. Right now she looks kind, and sad, which is what she’s always looking like when she ain’t got some other look to be wearing._

_“Can a brother get his meeting on?” you ask, because even though you ain’t sure about this whole business you guess you want to know who this person is what’s so important as to make her leave your side. Leave you all alone._

_Her brow furrows and she chews her lip, just a little. “Promise me something, first,” she says, and you nod because you ain’t wanting her to be all worried like she’s sounding._

_“Promise me that you’ll be good to him?” she asks, and it’s a scared sort of a question. “Fuck, this sounds so stupid… I’m sorry.”_

_“It ain’t stupid,” you say, reaching out and grabbing the hand what’s been caressing your mark and giving it a special squeeze. “Ain’t like a sister would up and ask if it weren’t for some reason.”_

_She nods and you reckon you ain’t never seen her look so young. “He’s not had the best life,” she says, not even up and meeting your gaze. “If he thinks, even for a second, that you’re trying to play him or use him…”_

_Suddenly it all comes clear to you how this woman knew enough to get past all the walls what you put up to keep all the hurt around you from getting in, and for the first time you think how maybe it might not be so bad to do this for yourself as much as for her. “I understand,” you say, watching your fingers get all mixed up with hers and wondering how you’re all up and going to get the right ones back again. “And I promise. I’ll be the best motherfucking friend your kid ever had, you’ll see.”_

_Her smile is all up and being pure relief. “Thank fuck for that. I swear, you boys…” she breaks off, bends down to plant a chaste kiss all up on your forehead. “If anyone ever needed a friend, it was you two.”_

_You all up and close your eyes as you get to snuggling on down in her lap again. “Hey, so what colour eyes has a brother got?” you ask, suddenly struck by a notion._

_“Red like mine,” Marah says, and you grin, because that is your favourite motherfucking colour of them all._  


### Suggestions Used

 _RandomGal -_ Jake: Discuss the new developments and collar dilemma with your fellows. Figure out where the key might be kept.

 _unholygrunt –_ Jake: Talk to Karkat about finding key and removing the collars.

 _WhiteTiger1221 –_ Gamzee: Be ecstatic that you're back together with your bro. Know passing knowledge of Terezi due to knowing about Karkat's visions.

 _ttdOOOO –_ Gamzee: Get high... on life!... then the fantasy drug whose name escapes me.

 _Ephemeral_Dreamer –_ Gamzee: Contemplate Miracles

 _MASK –_ Gamzee: Follow fiancee to wedding rehearsal (you promised to be a good boy, after all).

 _RandomGal -_ Gamzee: Do recital [rehersal]. Be worried a lot, but try to gather information and be useful. Karkat needs you!

 _unholygrunt –_ Karkat: Be the Thief

 _RandomGal -_ Karkat: Steal key. Save using it until the last second, though; shouldn't she be able to tell or something?

 **Special Assignment (Ongoing)**  
 _unholygrunt -_ Everyone should fall in love with Jake and he promptly falls in love with a ghost.

 _ttdOOOO –_ Everybody that makes sense: Be attracted to [Jake] at first sight. I find that as hilarious a running gag as Roxy trying to get in [John's] pants.

[System Notes](http://celynbrum.tumblr.com/post/59702180218/lodad-system-notes-chapter-26)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I decided to stick a warning on this chapter because it occurred to me that a) until you finish reading it you don’t know about the awesome heist and b) whether you know about the heist or not, what Gamzee does/what happens to Gamzee in this chapter is really, really not very pleasant or healthy and could be upsetting. Hopefully this is as nasty as this story will get, at least in this sense- I can’t make a blanket promise or be 100% certain, since I’m writing as I go and my work often gets at least a bit visceral when there are unpleasant details- but I honestly can’t think of any plot, character or setting relevant reason to push further in this particular direction. Tangents or other horrible things yeah, but that’s a different matter which I’ll consider if and when it comes up.
> 
> For anyone who might be wondering about what the hell Gamzee is on, I’ll admit to taking a little dramatic license with the drugs as presented. Pathfinder is very good about giving rules for mechanical bonuses and penalties, and much worse at presenting the emotional and behavioural effects of taking these substances; I’ve played enough tabletop RPGs to know that this means anyone taking said substances is unlikely to be forced to roleplay the inevitable changes taking large quantities of intoxicants would cause, except maybe for comedy value. I wanted to be a bit more dramatic than that.
> 
> Pesh I’m using as a sopor substitute, so its effects are similar, but I don’t think this is a stretch. We’re talking about a drug that provides temporary Hit Points and a bonus against fear, while reducing Wisdom and Dexterity- in other words, it seems reasonable that someone who’s taken it will become calmer and less emotionally volatile, like their brain is wrapped in cotton wool so they can’t think straight or care about being in pain.
> 
> Harlot Sweets boost Dexterity and Charisma and are explicitly stated to be abused by prostitutes and favoured by certain members of the nobility. Mechanically it makes you more attractive and flexible (ie: better in bed), no other effects given, but it made sense to me under those conditions that it would produce feelings of arousal and sexual sensitivity- no point to such widespread use unless it improves the experience, after all.
> 
> In combination, as in this chapter, things get messy. Pesh is obviously a mood depressant, while Harlot Sweets are definitely a stimulant; combining the two means the brain won’t know if it’s coming or going. In Gamzee’s case it’s a particularly bad combo, because although he uses Pesh to suppress the Bard it’s a blanket effect on every aspect of himself. Harlot Sweets on the other hand have a direct link to boost the most basic and instinctive areas of the brain- which happens to be exactly what the Bard is all about. So when he takes both he’s essentially knocking out all his innate self-control and reasoning ability while sending his already powerful suppressed desires into overdrive. He’s one wrong swerve away from homicidal maniac and there’s nobody at the wheel.
> 
> The moral of this story is that Gamzee should not be allowed to self-medicate, ever, and Celyn thinks into this shit waaay too much.
> 
> EDIT:  
> Moved the notes from the top of the chapter to the bottom, and farmed system notes out to Tumblr.


	27. -- LETTERS HOME --

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Hero Point Votes**  
>  John 1  
> Jade 1  
> Karkat 2  
> Terezi 2  
> Gamzee 5 [and also the Bard of Rage :o)]  
> GAMZEE GAINS ONE HERO POINT!  
> Voting now open for the next Hero Point award: one person will get one after three chapters.
> 
> NOTE: I have given some thought to the suggestion that I randomly assign a Hero Point in addition to the votes. It was a good idea, but I won’t be doing it as I don’t think enough of them are getting spent to justify the extra giveaways. If things change, I’ll revisit it!

[ ](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/z76qugs9er0ya43/01%20LODAD%20Letters.png?dl=0)

TRANSCRIPT

TO: proprietors  
the waypoint inn  
old rattlesheath street  
outer ring  
porthaven

dear mom and dad,

by the time you read this letter, jane and i will be far away on our first adventure! we're sorry we didn’t say goodbye or give you any warning that we were going to leave, but it’s kind of taken us by surprise as well. that's why we’re writing this letter- we don’t want you to worry about us. i mean, you’re probably going to worry anyway, but we thought we should write and let you know that we’re okay and doing something important and worthwhile and also we haven’t been kidnapped or mugged or anything like that (yet)! hehehe.

as for what we’re doing, i guess that’s a secret at the moment? but it’s really important! like, actual saving-the-world heroics. maybe there will be ballads about us to sing one day! i probably shouldn’t tell you this, but you’re smart enough to work it out anyway; we’re with the oracle and her sister, who’s actually a wizard (how amazing is that?) and they’re both really smart. there's a couple of other friends with us, too, and they’re good in a fight so you don’t have to worry about us getting hurt. we can all watch each other’s backs and it’ll be fine!

so anyway we’re off on a long journey now, and it will probably take months and months, so we thought we’d write and let you know how it’s going every so often? we can’t say where we’re headed yet but we’ll be sending another letter with some friends once we’re safely underway. when jade and jake arrive, can you let them know where we’re going and let them know that they can totally join us if they want? rose (that’s the oracle) says that they will probably be a great help to us, and we still really want to meet them! oh, jane wants to write something...

Hi Mom, Dad. I’m really sorry to leave you like this; I tried to get us out of it, but unfortunately it looks like we’ve already made some enemies that make it best if we stay on the move. I promise to look after John and make sure he doesn’t take any really stupid decisions, and we’ll both be careful and make sure we come home in one piece. We love you both and please, apologise to Commander Larkin for me about us missing our official swearing-in ceremony. 

I have to admit that I’m a little scared about all this. It seems like an awful lot for just the six of us to handle, and although I can’t deny the visions of an Oracle I have my doubts that things could be as bad as she claims. But I can’t just stay behind and let everyone down! The whole reason I wanted to join the Watch was to protect people and John is right, they need our help. So I hope you can understand why we’re doing this.

so basically, we wanted to let you know that we’re okay, and safe- well, not really safe, but definitely protected- and that we love you and we’re going to write. say hi to everyone for us!

Your loving children,  
John and Jane xxx

  
TO: John and Jane Warden  
By Way Of Bird Feather Token

My darlings,

I hope this letter finds you well. Your father has been positively incandescent since you left- first with fury and then with pride. I won’t lie; it is frightening to hear that your children are off facing danger in the wilds of the world, but he and I both have every faith that you will triumph over whatever trials stand in your way. You are both adults and can make your own decisions about your lives, and we want to support that in any way that we can.

Just so you know, if that bloody Oracle, her sister, or those godsdamned aasimar reprobates you’re off with come lollygagging around my doorstep then they’re getting a taste of your grandpa’s falchion! And don’t pretend it isn’t those thieving Phooka bastards, because we aren’t so green as we’re cabbage-looking round here!

As you can tell, your father is still a little worked up. We’re both concerned, which is why we were racking our brains to think of ways to aid you. Then it occurred to us that some of our regulars might understand what you need right now far better than we could! So we asked around the taproom for advice.

General consensus is that you kids should’ve heard enough old treasure-divers yammering on to have a pretty clear idea of what to do. Ragnar says to remind you keep your magic users away from the front lines, and Karlok and Elavyn say to think tactically and remember where people are on a battlefield. Don’t wander into each others’ way, stay within quick dash of a healer, don’t give out easy hits and for the love of all the gods if there’s a hostile spellcaster about DON’T CLUSTER!

I hope that helps! We’re also packing up some kits for you with the help of the boys; we’ve made one for each of you, and one each for your brother and sister. Assuming we have your location by the time they get here, we will pass it on, although I do hope they decide to stay for a day or two before haring off after you. We’ve also decided to keep it a secret that you’re travelling with the Oracle. The whole city is all in an uproar looking for her, and no doubt they’ll find out where you’re all headed soon enough, but if she didn’t see fit to tell them I don’t see why we should poke our noses in.

We are so proud of you both, and we love you to bits. Go be heroes, and come home with stories to tell.

All our love,  
Mom and Dad  
XXX

PS: Now your mother can’t see it... give those bastards hell, kids.

[](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/vtc66561mdanw9x/LODAD%20FillerPic1%28Mod2%29.JPG?dl=0)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, several notes here.
> 
> 1) Credit where it’s due! The handwriting fonts in this chapter were downloaded from [dafont.com](http://www.dafont.com/). Like a fool I forgot to make notes on who the creators of each were, but the names of the fonts (which should be searchable) are:  
> John - Emmys Handwriting  
> Jane - Granny's Handwriting  
> Mother - Wild Script  
> Father - Dear Joe
> 
> 2) I’ve made a few more changes to the character builds; the biggest one is that Dave now has a first–level feat that he actually meets the prerequisites for. He will be getting his previous feat back at level 3 now he qualifies for it. I also altered Roxy’s alignment from Chaotic Neutral to Chaotic Good, and modified the Knight of Time Godmark to give weapon proficiency Bastard Sword instead of Greatsword due to the rules on fragile materials and also because on closer examination his broken sword hilt looks more hand-and-a-half than two-handed.
> 
> 3) The other day I was trying to shortcut into this fic to reference something by adding my username to the search engine after “AO3” and I made a discovery: somebody has put my other fic (Home Is Where The Heart Is) into the fanfic recs section of the Homestuck TV Tropes page! That pretty much made my day, if not my week. I mean, that page is where I first wandered into the Homestuck fandom and fanfic; I would not be here now writing this if it weren’t for that! If you happen to be reading this fic too, lettergirlmj, I am deeply flattered and thank you so much. Also “gripping” is spelled with two “p”s- griping is to have a gripe, or overblown minor complaint about something. Unless you think I actually _was_ griping for 24 chapters, in which case carry on. :)
> 
> 4) I got Tumblr! Still haven’t finished setting it all up but when I do I’ll stick links to it here. I was thinking that once I figure it out I can let you guys ask questions? Also when I feel like splurging tangential information I can do it there instead of in this comment section, and I can give updates on how I’m going with the sequel to Home Is Where The Heart Is (hint: badly). I… don’t really know what I’m doing, but lots of people seem to have Tumblr and since I fail Facebook forever I think I should try and poke at least one form of online social media before I become a lonely, lonely cave person. I promise not to turn into Kankri, although such guarantees do not carry for Karkat.
> 
> EDIT: My [Tumblr](http://celynbrum.tumblr.com/) is now working. I think. Come ask me stuff and watch me ramble! :)


	28. ==> Dave: Isn’t It Your Turn?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Hero point votes:**  
>  Karkat 1

## ==> Dave: Isn’t It Your Turn?

The thing about forests as compared to bustling urban centres is that they are long on trees and animals and bugs and really fucking short on people. While you are convinced that there are actually some crazies in the world who find all this greenery and mud and getting bitten by who the fuck even knows what to be in some way exhilarating, you have long since realised nature sucks ass- and not even tight, pert ass either; it has its tongue lodged firmly up gross sweaty ass, with skidmarks and pustules.

Basically there is nothing to do out here but smell the flowers, and unless they're the sort that bite back you’re one hundred per cent certain that they won't do anything interesting. You've been wandering past a variety of ever more treelike trees for one singular unending day and you already miss the admiring crowds of Porthaven. Squirrels, in addition to tasting like shit, are the absolute worst audience you have ever come across, although you're thinking that maybe that title needs transferring to one Rose, Oracle of Light. Not that she isn't fun to listen to as she coolly pulls apart everything she hears for the fun of it, but you figured out fast that it's fucking impossible to keep a line of patter going when you know that every word you say is going to get creatively misinterpreted as a deeply repressed desire for throbbing animal dong.

Dirk loves it, of course; finally, someone else who can keep up with his bullshit. He's been sparring with the oracle for hours. Last you listened in, she'd intimated that he had a tragically unrequited longing for horse cock and he had offered to throw a barnyard orgy and invite her. You pretty much stopped listening again at that point- not because your highly-developed irony skills weren't up to the job and you were getting nauseous or anything, but because your other fellow travellers are fucking hilarious and you’ve got a solemn duty to make time in your busy schedule for watching them accidentally clown about.

If you’re being brutally honest, like really beating the shit out of that truth, then Jane's a pretty sweet kid and you gotta respect that she won't buy most of your bullshit. Watching her chase round after John like she's his mother is still comedy gold, especially since he and Roxy are doing some kind of elaborate mating dance known only to drunken wizards and clueless pranksters. The Oracle’s sister has been following your friend around and draping herself over him and burbling sweet sexy nonsense in his ear while he laughs and helps her up when she trips over- which is about every thirty seconds, because it’s gloomy under the trees and there are roots everywhere and she is fucking hammered- and he is completely failing to notice that this shit is not platonic.

You've got to give Warden some credit, though- apart from a few sniggers and excessive shushing, you'd hardly know he'd been plotting with Roxy for the last ten minutes. If she was mute and you were blind, that is- girl can't stop looking at you and giggling, unless she's currently occupied with falling over or trying to nibble John's neck. It's like she's a fucking vampire or some shit, one that can only feed on the blood of derpy do-gooders and is starving, so he's like her one-man buffet and she just can't resist going for the appetiser...

It occurs to you that your metaphor has started getting kind of steamy, so you stop. Don't want to waste good fireside fantasy material you could use later; your thinking time is premium rate. Besides, John just peeled her off his shoulders and gave her a shove towards Dirk, so you’re pretty sure that whatever shit they were planning is about to go down. You shove your thumbs in your belt and keep up a casual swagger as your friend comes bounding over like he’s a happy puppy and you’re his doting master or some shit like that.

“Hey, Dave!” he says, grinning like a fucking moron. You give him a small nod of recognition.

“’Sup, Warden?” you reply, and hold back from tensing up as he slings a friendly arm around your shoulder. “Crazy cat lady offered to make an honest woman out of you yet? ‘Cos I’m down with planning that wedding, I got some seriously ill ideas for decorations…”

John laughs and hits you in the shoulder with his free hand. The kid is way stronger than a skinny little elf has any right to be. You fail to care on account of how you are still more badass than he could ever dream of being, even if he was super-strong. And could fly.

"Hehehe, we're not getting married, dumbass!" he says, eyes twinkling.

"So it's just hot monkey sex, then." You nod knowingly as he blushes. "Nice swag, dude."

"Dave! We're not..." he drops his voice, "... we're not having sex, either!"

A slight turn of the head is enough to show your theatrical disbelief. You might have to ham it up for the audiences back in Porthaven, but in real life a small gesture goes a long way. "Really? 'Cos it sure as fuck looked like it; she is into you in a big way and you weren't doing fuck all to discourage her cherry-popping slobbermonster ways just now."

"Daaave!" he hisses, and even his ears are fucking glowing now. His hand is still around your shoulder as he glances about then leans in a little closer. "Okay, honestly, I have no idea what I'm doing here!"

"Could've fooled me," you say, shrugging. You get your shoulder punched again for the trouble.

"Can you just quit being a massive booger for five minutes and listen?"

"Can you not call me a booger? Because that is a lame-ass insult..."

"I'm not used to this!" John whispers frantically, and from the way those baby blues have gone all wide it seems genuine. "I mean, a couple of the adventurer ladies back at the inn would sometimes flirt, but that was more in an _aww, look how cute he is_ kind of way! And now there's Roxy, and Dirk, and I just don't know what I'm supposed to say or feel or think or do!"

"Don't worry about Dirk, dude," you tell him, casting a glance over at your brother who seems to be wrestling with a tearful Roxy. "I mean, you kind of are his type, but he pretty much knows to back off before he even advances at a time like this. Mostly he's just macking on you to mess with everyone."

John peeks around your shoulder. "Really?"

"Hand on my heart," you say, and take a moment to put your actual literal hand over your actual literal heart because shit like that deserves a Moment. "Now as for Roxy, never fear, because you happen to be talking to the Sultan of Swag, the King of Kink, the Oracle of Org..." 

"Dave!"

"... and the question you gotta ask yourself is, are you into this girl?" You watch him open and close his mouth like a fish for a few seconds before you decide to give him the baby steps training wheels version. "Do you, Master John Warden of Porthaven, have a genuine desire to do the horizontal samba with that fine, fine piece of ass?”

You have seen people go that shade of red before, but they were Phooka and already pretty crimson to begin with. "I, uh, I..." John stammers as you snicker. He clears his throat with a cough and continues; "That's, um, a very good point, and I'll go away and think about it, but there was this one other... NOW!"

In the fraction of a second it takes for your brain to process that _you knew he was planning something and you let him distract you_ , the arm around your shoulders becomes a vice holding you in place and his other hand is already on your mask, lifting it. Reflexes honed by a lifetime of training with your bro kick in and you grab the wrist in front of your face, keeping your mask safe as you kick backwards and scrap a boot-heel down the inside of your assailant's shin. John yelps and pulls his leg back, and you take advantage of his lack of balance to throw yourself into him and knock you both onto the ground, landing as hard on his midriff as you can manage from your awkward starting position.

You get back to your feet as he wheezes, straightening your mask. Behind you on the driver’s seat of the caravan, Dirk has Roxy in a headlock and is calmly making the same adjustment, while Jane squeaks and looks between the two of you in a panic as your whole party grinds to a halt on the dim forest road.

“Nice try, but you gotta do better than that to get our masks,” you say, as much to reassure Jane as to taunt John. You’re already taking care of the latter by resting a foot casually on your gasping friend’s ribs, and he’s struggling more because he’s trying to laugh. You poke him with your booted toes a little before turning your head to the side and raising your voice. “Right, bro?”

“I’d say full marks for a valiant effort, and shit all for the execution,” Dirk replies, giving Roxy a noogie and making her squeal. “Sorry, Rox, but the bro-code states that a truly awesome dude has to keep his mask on at all times, or ranks can be deducted. You understand.”

“Imp- hic! Impelhicitly,” Roxy slurs from somewhere around his armpit. “’S a very sent-sennis-sennable pol’cy.”

“Actually,” says Rose, not looking round or pausing in twining her fingers into Maplehoof’s mane, “if you don’t mind indulging my curiosity, why do the pair of you wear masks? In fact, I would go so far as to enquire as to the reasoning behind your entire outfits, given that they are somewhat inappropriate to the potential dangers of our mission.”

Jane glares sharply at her. “I would go so far as to enquire as to when you’re going to remove your boot from my brother! It was just a prank, and it didn’t even work!”

You decide to address the second problem first, by removing your foot from John’s ribs and holding out a hand to help him up. He springs back to his feet with a grin and you present him to Jane with a bow. “As you can see, my beautiful assistant is still all in one piece, m’lady.”

Jane walks right up and waggles a finger under your nose. “Don’t think I’m letting you get away with this, buster! Honestly, I’ve half a mind to turn this adventuring party right back around and go home to Porthaven, you see if I don’t!”

You’re about to reply when Rose does it for you, purple eyes narrowing as she looks over at Jane. “If you really are that dissatisfied with our progress, then I see no problem with you returning home,” the Oracle says, her tone beyond toxic and into corrosive. “I would of course not wish for anyone to be forced into a course of action to which they had not given their full and honest consent, be that staying or leaving.”

There is a long silence, during which Jane manages to turn bright pink. “I… that is… oh, flip, I just…”

“If you don’t think you’re capable of providing assistance then certainly, you should leave,” Rose adds, the entirely reasonable tone of her voice at odds with the whiteness of her knuckles in Maplehoof’s mane. “Please, don’t let a misplaced sense of duty prevent you from doing whatever it is you desire; it is of course a terrible imposition of me to co-opt you into this foolhardy world-saving venture, and no reasonable soul could possibly blame you or consider you in the least bit cowardly for wanting to back out of what was surely an impulsive and poorly-considered decision.”

“ _I said I was going to help!_ ” Jane yells, and for several long heartbeats the forest seems even quieter than before. “And I will,” she adds, jutting her chin out and putting her hands firmly on her hips. “So don’t even think about trying to talk me out of it, because when I make a commitment I damned well stick with it to the bitter end!”

John laughs and pulls his sister into a bear-hug; she makes some huffy noises but returns the embrace. You sidle up to the stunned Oracle, pausing only to give a slightly dazed Jane a bro fistbump because damn, you don’t think you would have rallied so well before such an assault of sarcasm even if she did fall into the obvious trap.

“It’s badass,” you say, leaning over to speak in Rose’s ear. She jumps a little.

“What?”

“The masks, the costumes. Totally fucking kick-ass awesome.”

She gathers herself a little to look at you like a particularly interesting specimen. “I see. The object is to leave a beautiful corpse.”

You let your lip twitch in a small smile. “Nah. We’re just trying to intimidate our foes- see, I’m the bandit king, and Dirk over there is the hero who kills me. Spread the story far enough and people are gonna take one look at us and go, ‘Shit, those guys are a fucking fireball of epic proportions, we are getting the fuck out of here!’ And then we won’t need to lift a finger ever again.”

She appears to consider your cunning bullshit strategy. “And if the individuals of which you speak in fact go; ‘My, it appears to be two actors, we can slay them with ease?’”

“Then I unleash my utterly sick fighting skills on them,” Dirk says, taking up the reins of the caravan once more. “And Dave breaks his sword and cries like a little girl until they take pity on him, because his swords are all cheap pieces of shit and he refuses to buy anything better despite the fact that everyone with any kind of sense has told him what a dumb-fuck move this is.”

You don’t even look back as you give your brother the finger. “Stage swords work fine if they’re sharpened,” you say. “Which mine are."

"The steel is shit," Dirk tells you, leaning forward to pat Maplehoof as she shifts restlessly. "The fucking things break and you can't get any self-respecting blacksmith to reforge them. Our whole caravan is full of your backup weapons; it's embarrassing and it's redundant. I can't even bring visitors home without apologising for your fucked-up obsession."

Your eyebrows twitch into a frown behind your mask. "Not just my backups, dude," you say, kind of sharper than you meant to. "I mean, at least I don't insist on using a style of sword from a continent nobody's even heard of. Blacksmiths don't even know how to fix that shit."

"If you want to criticise my fighting style, would you like further opportunity to study it up close?"

"Maybe I would!"

"Are you entirely satisfied with this exchange?" Rose asks, her voice strained at the edges. "Or would you like to go off and hammer at each other with bits of metal until you prove who the alpha male is?"

You and your bro look at each other, and share a small nod.

"Nah," you both say in tandem. Rose’s eyes narrow and you think you’re about to get another round of biting sarcasm when something else catches your attention.

“Heads up,” whispers Dirk, and you nod, eyes flickering across the thickets of tangled undergrowth in an attempt to follow the rustling movements you spotted. You catch a flash of something red and scaly ahead and to the side, and as your eyes adapt to staring into shadow you see the mud-darkened silhouettes of four small, reptilian creatures lurking just off the path.

Dirk’s looking the same way as you, which you expected, but so is John; before you can tell him to hold back, the dumbass is already walking forwards towards the figure that lurks slightly apart from the rest. You see its head bob in alarm as he draws closer. Behind you, Roxy grabs her familiar and starts to wander up behind the two of you, still looking around dopily as if she can’t see a fucking thing. You hear more than see as Dirk and Jane draw weapons.

“Hi!” John calls. You hear a faint “nak!” and the figure up ahead dives into the undergrowth, which does make it a shitload harder to keep track of. You hear a thoughtful hum from Rose as the other three figures dive for cover and, drawing your own sword, start to move cautiously after John.

There is another quiet “nak!” and a small pellet flies out of the undergrowth to land at your feet. You look at it for exactly long enough to think _oh crap_ before it explodes into a cloud of smoke. Everything becomes a secondary consideration to breathing really fucking fast as you double over coughing, your lungs making a serious effort to climb out up your throat the second the cloying, bitter fumes hit them. Next to you John and Roxy are also doubled over in greyish clouds of dust and air. Out of the corner of your eye you see Dirk and Jane start to move towards you and for a moment you’re hopeful, but then with a click, a swish and a yell a section of the forest floor shifts and your brother catapults upwards before coming to rest dangling upside down in a snare trap. The sound of mocking nakking fills the air.

Still coughing, John fumbles for his hammer and Roxy drops her cat; you double over again as your stomach lurches. You’ve lost track of your attackers and from behind you the sounds of Rose praying to her goddess mix with the sound of Jane and Dirk desperately trying to free his leg from the trap before suddenly degenerating into hacking coughs. Some dazed part of your brain notes that this shit is crazy, yo, the forest is suddenly a battleground and you aren’t even in the trenches, you’re in fucking no-man’s-land, flanked and under fire from all sides.

Something thumps ineffectually into your armour and you open your streaming eyes to see two little red lizards valiantly swinging at you with tiny saps that would be fucking adorable if the little shits weren’t trying to beat you down with them. Your attempt to swing a sword at them is aborted by a coughing fit and you spot more of the little fuckers sprinting out from the trees to batter at your travelling companions. A second pellet flies out and lands at your feet; in the instant before it pops you gasp down a breath of clean air and hold it, keeping that toxic shit out of your lungs. Based on the second round of hacking coughs from John and Roxy, they were less smart.

Your lizards swing at you again, and this time leave a couple of bruises. This time your breathing behaves itself as, pissed the fuck off by this bullshit, you swing your shitty but sharp stage sword towards the nearest of the little shits. The asshole ducks and you get stung from the other side by a sling stone.

Behind you there is a feminine yelp as Jane sets off another snare trap; John staggers aside as a lizard in slightly nicer ragged bits of leather than the rest swings at him with a sap. Then a brilliant flash of multi-coloured light shoots past you into the section of undergrowth where the smoke pellets and sling stones have been coming from; even from the corners of your vision, it’s eye-searing enough to make your head ache, and based on the high-pitched screams from the bush that are quickly cut off it’s even worse taken full frontal.

The attacks against you take on a slightly more frantic nature and you hiss in pain as one blow lands firmly in your solar plexus. Even through the armour you felt that. You swing at the moving mass of red scales and the blow goes wide; there are small flashes of divine light from where Rose is battling, and you grip your sword more firmly in hand.

“WAIT!”

Everyone hesitates; the lizards look around at John as the same time as the rest of you.

“Okay, look, we can keep doing this,” he says, addressing the lizard he’s been locked in mortal godsdamned combat with. “But you’ve run out of those smoke bullets, right? And you’re kind of small, and I think we can beat you, or at least make winning really hard and dangerous. But I thought, well, you’ve actually not been trying to kill us, so maybe this is something where we can talk about it instead of fighting?”

You look around at the snare traps and the saps and realise that he’s right. They could have dug pits, or used poison, and you’d all be dying by now. You’re no expert on the habits of small red forest nak-lizards, but you’re pretty sure that attacking well-armed and armoured groups of travellers without exploiting every possible advantage is not high on their list of survival traits.

There is a general nakking, which stops when the leader nak-naks at them all and nods, once, to John. Then he tilts a head to glance, narrow-eyed, at Dirk and Jane who are spinning gently in the breeze.

“Yeah, I think we’d appreciate being let the fuck down now,” Dirk says, with an upside-down shrug.

The lizard leader flares his nostrils. “You make promise not hurt kobolds?”

“Depends if you cut us down in, like, the next thirty seconds,” Dirk says.

“We promise,” John adds hastily. The kobold leader naks and a couple of his followers run over to cut your brother and Jane down with some fucking creepy subservience thrown in for good measure.

“If you don’t mind me asking, what was this all about?” Rose asks, sheathing a wand as she walks closer. A few of the kobolds who staggered out of the undergrowth still a bit cross-eyed flinch away as she gets near, but the kobold leader stands his ground even if his head drops.

“Need help,” he says, pushing at the dirt with a long reptilian toe. “The gold elf said, said they was coming. The tick-tock man and the skydancer, he said, find them on the road to save Nakkanak tribe and Glubbyglob tribe.”

“Save you? From what?” Dirk asks, sheathing his sword as he walks up. The kobold looks up and you can see the resentment warring with fear in his eyes.

“Time of the Hunters,” he says, as his followers nak nervously. “Save us from time when kobolds die.”  


### Suggestions Used

 _LostSock_ – Dave: Have a chapter in your POV because you haven't had a turn yet.

 _Antartique_ \- Dave: Isn't it your turn?

 _WhiteTiger1221_ \- Dave: Get a chapter in your POV because after a quick look in the index you're the only one who hasn't

 _RandomGal_ \- John: Prank someone! Your prankster gambit can never be full enough!

 _ttdOOOO_ – John: Ruminate on sudden explosion of sexual partners; does two count as an explosion?

 _LostSock_ \- Roxy or John: Foolishly attempt to snatch Dirk and Dave's masks.

 _LostSock_ \- Rose: Ask Dirk and Dave if their choice in clothing and masks are really all that practical for a world-saving adventure such as this.

 _Silverkyo_ – Jane: Get real tired of this adventure bullshit already

 _Silverkyo_ – Rose: Get real tired of Jane's bullshit

 _Ephemeral_Dreamer_ – Dave: Try to get a rise out of Rose

 _ttd0000_ \- John: Solve kobold problem without violence.

[System Notes](http://celynbrum.tumblr.com/post/59702406271/lodad-system-notes-chapter-28)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So my [Tumblr](http://celynbrum.tumblr.com/) is pretty much working! I posted stuff and everything. In future my particularly rambling worldbuilding will go there, along with updates on how the sequel to Home Is Where The Heart Is goes. Assuming you care about that- I’m sure some of you are just here for this fic and are busy going “what?” right now.
> 
> So, this time last week I became ill. I then spent the weekend being ill, before becoming just well enough to go to work on Monday. I spent the next five days being varying degrees of exhausted, starving and mucus-filled, my evenings filled with things to do or tired sleepy lazy blugh.
> 
> I am seriously amazed that I pulled off a chapter this week! Good luck all around! :O
> 
> EDIT:  
> Moved the notes from the top of the chapter to the bottom, and farmed system notes out to Tumblr.


	29. ==> Sollux: Keep Being A Moody Asshole Forever

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Hero point votes:**  
>  Karkat 1  
> John 1  
> Roxy 1  
> Gamzee 1

## ==> Sollux: Keep Being A Moody Asshole Forever

The sun is setting as you approach the cleft in the mountains, a long narrow crack in the stone surrounded by a high, crenellated wall of heavy blocks that each seem larger than the dwarves that must have moved them into place. A shout goes up from the shadowy figures on the wall, a challenge in an unfamiliar tongue; Lars shouts back and with a rattling of gears and chains a portcullis raises to allow your group access into the outer courtyard of the Clanhold. It falls behind you with an imposing clang, one that makes it clear that while the dangers of the world are _out there_ you are also now very definitely and irrevocably _in here_.

You look surreptitiously about, shivering as you take note of all the stocky forms watching you from the walls. You've never liked reminders of being surrounded or trapped. No matter how friendly the dwarves are being at the moment it's not doing jack shit for those trust issues you've been nursing since- well, since forever really, but you know you've been worse since Jade burst into your lives with her stupid perky demeanour and her giant wolf monster and all these fucking annoying dwarf relatives that are somehow connected to Kanaya's asshole drow friends and you need to breathe, seriously, it's like someone's stealing all the air in here and you're not even underground yet.

Aradia's hand brushes against your arm and for a moment you're okay, shit together, you can handle this. Then Bryn says something that makes Aradia laugh and look away from you, and suddenly you're drowning in jealousy and bitter logic. It's been like this the whole way here, the two of them and Jade exchanging bawdy jokes and stories at the back with you while Kanaya and Bryn's brothers forge ahead and flush with mortification. You hate it but you know you don't have any right to stop Aradia from making friends; you can't expect her to nanny you the whole time. Just because you're too much of an asshole and a loser to actually bond with any other living creature than her, doesn't mean you have an exclusive claim on her attention. You trudge silently after the laughing trio, arms folded around yourself to ward off the discomfort as if it were a chill in the air, and you force yourself to silently recite Hollegard's Theory of Distributed Arcana to distract yourself from the simpler but infinitely longer internal litany of your every flaw and failing.

The mountain cave is clearly a natural formation but generations of dwarves have paved the path you follow and worked intricate, gem-studded carvings into the rock, now worn by time and the dripping of water. The oldest are little more than faint suggestions of shapes in the stone, casting odd shadows in the light of the lanterns that hang from thick metal hooks in the walls and roof. The effect is strange, a merging of the natural and the created that you've not encountered outside of ruined temples and forgotten cities in the forest. Aradia is already examining the carvings and babbling excited questions about the history and culture behind them, while Kanaya vocally appreciates the unfamiliar dwarven aesthetic. You don't really give a shit about dwarves yourself, seeing how as a species they aren't really known for their use of magic, but watching your friends get excited is pretty cool, you guess. You can understand Aradia's excitement more than Kanaya's, though. Not that you mind the drow, in fact she's basically the only remotely tolerable person you've ever picked up to work with, but seriously who even gives a shit about how different people think different varieties of useless shit are pretty?

The pathway through the cave becomes a winding stair into the mountain, narrow enough that you have to go in single file. You end up trapped between Aradia and Bec, walking slightly too slowly for comfort as you follow the huge beast. The damned thing has a massive canine grin plastered across its muzzle- you are certain that there is something weird about that wolf. Gritting your teeth you follow on, listening with half an ear to Aradia as she asks your escorts about their home. Kanaya chimes in with clarifications on points of dwelling underground that make eyewatering noontime sunlight sound downright attractive.

Then you step out of the tunnel onto a ledge overlooking the Quartzkin Clanhold, and for a few brief moments you forget to sulk because you were expecting a grim, dour fortress and the vast cavern beneath you is actually an upturned bowl of stars. Your eyes quickly adjust and you realise that the lights are lanterns and torches, the golden glow of the flames reflecting off intricate metal filigree on the architecture and vast bowl-like reflectors that hang from the roof of the cave. The buildings look almost normal- shorter and squatter than what you're used to, and every detail more carefully worked and shaped- and it takes you a long minute of staring to realise that every single one of them has been carved out of the side of the mountain. You almost feel humbled by the planning and effort it must have taken to create this place by hand. Almost.

"Nearly there now!" Lars says cheerily, setting off down another staircase that spirals around the pillar of rock into which is is hewn. It occurs to you that any invading force would have real trouble making it past even a single defender to reach the cavern floor, and follow with one hand resting safely against the stone.

From eye level the dwarf hold is no less impressive; you fix your eyes firmly on the paving slabs- quartz-veined granite, glittering in the light, of fucking course- and slouch along after your guides in an attempt to not show it. It's not the only thing you're ignoring, because passers-by are turning and staring at the group of you, as openly hostile to your presence as any surface-dwellers. It's typical; no-one ever looks at you and Aradia and Kanaya and sees anything but monsters. You're already starting to hate this Jake kid. He gets picked up by dwarves to live in a magical underground paradise. Fucking asshole probably doesn't even know how lucky he was to end up here...

Your train of thought is cut off as your group draws to a halt in front of one of the larger houses in the hold and, with a flourish, Lars gives a bow. It looks hilarious with his stocky little legs, and you snicker until Aradia elbows you in the ribs.

"Home sweet home," he says, as Vidar walks past him to knock sharply on the door. All three dwarves are grinning as it swings open to reveal another dwarf, who looks just like all the other shorty, stocky, hairy people down here except for the way he takes one look at Jade and grabs her into a bear-hug.

"Ah, excellent!" he booms, and fucking stars above you have no idea how he can be that loud and not damage his own hearing. "You must be Jade! It's an absolute delight to meet you, dear girl, completely bally brilliant even in these circumstances!" He turns, still clutching the elf girl to his barrel chest, and calls to someone in the house. "Thyri! Come see who’s on our doorstep!"

"Alright, alright, I'm coming! No need to bring the roof down..." Another chunky figure appears in the doorway, and judging by the lack of beard you'd guess that this one's a woman. "Well! Would you look at this! Has this dashed old fool been keeping you out here in the cold nattering when we've a fire inside?" She leans over to kiss Jade on the cheek and beckons to the rest of you. "Come on in, then, I'm sure you've had a long trip and you could all use a nice rest."

You only hesitate for a moment before Aradia's hand pushes at the small of your back and you stumble in after Jade and Kanaya. It's disconcerting how Thyri smiles at you, almost as fondly as she does her own children. Then you step through the narrow entrance hall into a room adorned with mounted weapons and bits of armour on shelves, and you realise that disconcerted is a relative term moments before a meaty hand slams into your back and nearly sends you flying across the room. 

"Ah, I see you've noticed my collection, lad!" the older dwarf booms. "Used to be an adventurer myself in my younger days, not unlike like you kids! Made a bloody good showing of it for a while too, before me and my lot stumbled across a couple of lost little elflings." He strides past you and winks at Jade. "That'd be you and your brother, m'dear, and don't think I regret a minute of it at that. One more year of waiting for a proper wedding and I think Thyri would've used me for target practise anyway!"

"What, and waste a valuable cartridge?" Thyri said, chuckling as she tosses another sizeable log on the fire. "Nonsense, man, I'd beat you to death with the coal shovel first."

It's an impressive fireplace; Jade and her wolf are already curled up on the thick rug next to it, Kanaya hovering awkwardly nearby while Aradia explores the dark, shifting shadows in the corners of the room. You linger by the door, watching as introductions are made and the three younger dwarves silently negotiate- with some shoving- who gets which of the comfy chairs. It’s all very domestic; you scuff your feet on the floor, not really sure how you fit into this picture. It takes some effort to fight the insidious thought that should just leave already and stop messing up their home.

"So, Mister Quartzkin, you and Guardian Wolfsister were adventurers together?" Jade asks from her position lounging across that fucking wolf, glittering green eyes wide with interest.

The dwarf guffaws. "Why not call me Uncle Gunnar, my dear. We're family, after all!"

"Okay, Uncle Gunnar," Jade agrees, petting her animal companion absent-mindedly. "But I bet you have loads of good stories about your past, right?"

There is a chorus of groans from the other dwarves. "Oh, bloody hells, Dad, don't start!" Bryn groans, as Vidar flings a plump, padded cushion at Jade.

"Hah! You kids don't even know you're born!" Gunnar says with a snort. "Making fun of your old dad and his stories. You shall be the death of me, the lot of you!"

"Now, dear," says Thyri, patting her husband on the shoulder. "Let’s not start talking shop just yet. How about we offer our guests something to eat? I'm sure you must all be jolly well famished by now!"

Your stomach rumbles at the reminder, and you see Aradia look away from the odd little alcove she was examining to look hopefully at your hosts. Thyri smiles knowingly and vanishes past a heavy curtain into another room.

"Actually, I was hoping to consult with you, if I may,” Kanaya says to Gunnar once Thyri is gone; the drow looks and sounds as composed as ever, but she's folding her hands behind her back in a gesture you've seen every time she's trying hard to make a good impression. "It has been some years since I left Golgesi, and I am unaware of how the local landscape might have changed in the meantime."

"Oh, you're a local lass, eh?" Gunnar says, and although his tone is friendly you can pick up the hint of warning to it. "Well, in case you hadn't heard, things have been getting jolly troublesome of late. It's a bloody pain is what it is- me and the wife have been helping put together a militia, but there's been raiding bands all over and a good deal of traffic on the under-roads besides."

"Arik Hammerfist says that they're probably snooping about for slaves," Lars says, frowning.

"Arik Hammerfist says," Vidar says in a mocking sing-song, and gets a solid thump in the arm for his trouble.

"It sounds like a probable assessment," Kanaya agrees. "Although I must say it is unwelcome news." She sighs. "I always knew it would be difficult to get into the city without drawing attention. Aside from the proper entrances, which are guarded and monitored, the only way in would be through the underdark, and I had been hoping for some way to avoid that route."

"Rumours of some nasty critters down there," Gunnar comments.

"Those are not just rumours," Kanaya replies, taking a seat on what you think is probably a footstool and crossing her legs in a delicate fashion. "Certain of the noble families earned their status by... cultivating monsters, to serve in defence of Golgesi."

"What the blathering hells is wrong with a decent wall?" Vidar asks, eyes narrowing at Kanaya. The dark elf shrugs.

"It is not how my people do things."

"No, you just go around bloody kidnapping people and dragging them off to your godforsaken holes full of monsters..."

"Vidar!" snaps Gunnar, and you flinch back from the brittle sharpness in his voice even though it isn't aimed at you. "These people have kindly agreed to help us find Jake, and so long as they are our guests and our allies you will be civil to them or we shall have _words_ , young man!”

You can hear your own breathing as loud as a storm wind in the silence that follows. For a few eternal seconds you can see it on all their faces- the grief, the fear, the anger- and you don’t know how the fuck they managed to ever hide it or what you’re supposed to do now it’s out in the open.

Then Jade reaches up and rests a hand gently on Vidar’s arm, and for the first time since you’ve met her seems perfectly serious when she says: “We’ll get him back, I promise. He’s my brother too.”

You feel rather than see Aradia’s hand slip into your own, and you squeeze it for all you’re worth as her head drops onto your shoulder. Across the room you see Kanaya fiddling with her fingers again; you guess this has to be even worse for her. It must be hard not to feel complicit when she might well know personally some of the people who took Jake.

“There may be some ways around the main tunnels,” says Bryn slowly, after a while. “Nothing I’d swear to, mind, but well, a few of us were exploring a couple of months back and there’s some small passages running down that way. Natural cracks in the rock, mostly, but it looks like some of them might be old mine works. Could get us where we need to go.”

Gunnar’s brow snaps into a frown. “Exploring, eh?”

The young dwarf holds her hands up in surrender. “It was Jake’s idea, Dad! I just thought it could be helpful- you know, for if we needed a way to get around unseen, like now!”

Lars makes a sound that is almost but not quite a growl. “Hammer and anvil, Bryn, it's shenanigans like that which got Jake into this mess! What have Mum and Dad always... we're not supposed to encourage him, damnit!”

“I didn't know he was going to bloody well get abducted, did I?” Bryn yelled, and then Gunnar leans out of his seat and pulls her close against his shoulder. You hear a few faint sobs and stare at the dark alcove in the corner, feeling as awkward as shit.

“I think that might be quite useful,” Kanaya says, when Bryn recovers enough to sit back from her father. “You have my thanks, all of you.”

Before anyone can respond, the curtain to the other room pushes aside again and Thyri comes back in with a heavily-laden tray. “Here we go, then!” she says, looking pointedly at Kanaya until she jumps off the stool and the tray is set down in her place. “Now, I haven’t had time to put together a proper meal, but if I remember from when Gunnar’s friends used to visit you lot should have quite the appetite, so this should tide you over.” She glances over at you and smiles. “Come on, young- Sollux, was it? No need to be shy. You look like you could use some meat on your bones.”

You glower at her as you draw closer and grab a thick slice of what looks like fruit cake. It smells incredible, by which you mean nothing like a wandermeal. “If I gave a thit about putting on weight, I’d eat lard,” you tell her, taking a bite of the cake as she chuckles. It’s… okay, you guess? You have a hard time finding food you like, probably because of your stupid mixed heritage if you judge by Aradia’s fucked-up tastes. Sure enough, as she grabs something from the tray her fingers wiggle and with a flash of deep red magic the slice of pie turns a sickly, virulent yellow-brown.

“Sorry,” she says, biting into the now hideous and pungent food with every sign of enjoyment. “I’m sure that what you made is lovely, but I don’t really taste things the same way, and, well…”

“Oh, don’t worry about it, love,” Thyri says with a smile. “One of Gunnar's old friends was a tiefling chap, and whenever he came down here the poor soul couldn't eat a crumb without either bringing it right back up or doing all that magical razzmatazz first.”

“Oh, old Serkan,” Gunnar says with a nod. “Yes, he was quite the card, wasn’t he? Haven’t heard from him since before I picked up Jake. Probably got himself eaten by a dragon or somesuch; silly fool would keep taking risks.” The old dwarf sighs, and looks at you thoughtfully. “You know, you remind me of him a little around the horns. Had less than you, of course...”

“Oh, give it a rest, Dad,” Vidar says, Bryn nodding agreement. The older dwarf huffs.

“Well, I'm sure I wouldn't want to bore you,” he mutters. From your place by the tray you cast a pleading glance at Aradia; if there's one turn you don't want this conversation to take, it's to the matter of your heritage and how like or unlike a tiefling you are.

“So who's the shrine in the alcove for?” she asks brightly. As changes of topic go, it's less a gentle guiding hand and more a violent mugging; everyone stares. Aradia smiles back and points to the corner she was investigating earlier. Now that you're looking closer, you can see that the small recess holds a table in the shape of an anvil and is backed by a mosaic of a hammer overlaid on a mountain.

“That is quite curious,” Kanaya says hesitantly, as if afraid to offend. “I admit my religious education has been, ah, biased- but I don’t recall that exact symbology from anywhere. Is it for the Heir?”

Before Gunnar or his children can reply, Jade bounces up and down in excitement. “Ooh, ooh, I know this one!” she squeaks. “Jake mentioned it in his letters. This is the Smith, right?”

“Yes!” says Thyri. “That’s right.” She inclines her head to the altar, and a moment later her children belatedly follow suit. “Do you know much about him?”

Jade frowns. “Um… he’s a blacksmith, and a creator of mechanical things… oh, and he likes good manners and social harmony, which means he’s kind of different to the Prince too.”

“Can’t say I know much about your elvish gods,” Lars says. Gunnar chuckles.

“It’s a family failing,” he admits. “But my understanding is that the Smith is what religious scholar types would call one of the Lunar Gods.”

Kanaya’s eyes grow wide. “Oh, my. I had no idea that dwarves followed one of the Planeslords.”

“The what?” Aradia asks, curious as she steps forwards to examine the small shrine.

“The Lords of the Six Lunar Planes,” Kanaya replies. “I’m afraid I cannot remember their names or titles, but each of them has their own plane of reality and is associated with one of the moons.” She pauses. “They are the subject of some dispute; some theologians believe they are divine, but lesser than the true gods, while others think they are simply powerful yet still mortal beings.”

You stare at the shrine, shadows flickering as the fire casting them shifts and crackles. “Maybe it’th both,” you say, suddenly struck by a strange and dark sense of premonition. “I mean, everyone athumeth godth are immortal. Hath anyone ever tried to kill one and check?”

From the looks everyone gives you, that was probably the wrong thing to say. You shift awkwardly and hiss as you scrape your shin on the cold stone floor. “Ow, thit! Who even maketh their houth by carving it out of the rock anyway?”

There is a moment of awkward silence, then Bryn giggles. A moment later Aradia ruffles your hair and you try to push her off, causing your audience to laugh even harder.

“Well!” says Thyri, chuckling as she offers you a conciliatory plate of cake. “The creators in their wisdom forged all of us different, and a dull old world it would be elsewise say I!” She winks as you grab a double handful of food. You will not apologise; food is a valuable resource. “That said, if you're not comfortable here, maybe a change of scenery while I make something a bit more substantial, hmm?”

Gunnar chuckles. “Yes, I think we could do with a trip to the baths. What do you say, chaps and chapettes?”

You flush in anger and embarrassment. “Hey, I’m clean,” you snap. Your humiliation grows hotter as the dwarves seem to find this statement amusing.

“They’re not that sort of baths,” Lars manages, grinning at you. You fold your arms and hunch up defensively, while Aradia pats your arm.

“What are they like?” Jade asks, looking up eagerly. Traitorous bitch.

The dwarves share a look and you really don't want to know what that little smirk is about.

“Tell you what,” Lars says, with a lopsided grin. “How about we just show you?”

### Suggestions Used

 _solarVerdancy_ \- Jade and Crew: Arrive.

 _Ephemeral_Dreamer_ – Kanaya: Be confused (Dwarfs sure are weird)

 _LostSock_ \- Jade: Explain to your friends how the Dwarves' culture has different gods and beliefs, incite discussion about plot-related gods and/or godmarks.

 _ttdOOOO_ – Kanaya: Have a philosophical debate.

 _WhiteTiger1221_ \- Jade: Gossip with your brother's family and see if they have anything that can help you in the trip to the drow city.

 _APOP994312_ \- Jade: Find a way to sneak into Golgesi so Kanaya can meet with her ally.

 _Ephemeral_Dreamer_ – Jade: Be happy (but also very worried)

 _ttdOOOO_ – Sollux: Complain bitterly about terrible dwarf accommodations (they are not terrible, you are a grump).

 _unholygrunt_ – Sollux: Keep being a moody asshole forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, guess who tried to use too many suggestions again? Me, that's who! But I cut the half-chapter down into a proper chapter, and have plans for the next chapter in this thread, and I'm just about posting in time, so victory is mine! Ahahahaha!
> 
> EDIT:  
> Moved the notes from the top of the chapter to the bottom.


	30. ==> Karkat: Accidentally Set Something On Fire

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Hero point votes:**  
>  Karkat 1  
> John 1  
> Roxy 1  
> Gamzee 1

## ==> Karkat: Accidentally Set Something On Fire

You greet the return of Terezi with almost no fucks whatsoever, busy as you are playing cuddlebuddies with Gamzee. He's subsided into a sort of floppy, clingy doze since you got back to his chambers and you're not sure he even realises he's gripping your arm hard enough to leave finger-marks. Not that you begrudge him- taking a full-force blast of whatever the fuck spell they put on these slave collars was no hatchday celebration, but you'd still rather blow your own head off than do what he did. Even if he was completely out of what little mind he's got left at the time.

Terezi cackles when she sees the two of you bundled up together on the cushion pile. "So, I take it the mission was a success?"

You respond with the traditional greeting of a Shanties brat to a Lawkeeper. Unperturbed by the rude gesture she drops onto the couch next to Jake and in an act of brazen flirtation spreads herself out all over it and him. The sunwalker immediately and obviously flushes red; you smirk and bury your face back into Gamzee's neck. Your brother's breath hitches as your nose pokes against his skin and you shush him gently, petting his hair with one hand and using the other to pull him in to rest against you. You know from observational experience that he’s probably painfully horny right about now, and there’s something dark lurking behind his half-closed eyes that you wish to all the deepest heavens you didn’t recognise. You would also wish you’d never had to deal with the fallout from another person’s drug binge before, but given how painfully awkward this is likely to get you’re glad for the experience- even if it is entirely and without exception humiliating to remember.

As if thinking about it acted as a summons, Gamzee snuggles up closer against you and lets out a needy little whimper. Something you don't want to consider too closely presses against your leg. You respond by sticking your hand in the middle of his forehead and shoving him away.

"Not a chance, fuckass," you say, as gently as possible. He groans and rolls onto his front; you wrap an arm around him, politely and with great restraint refraining from noticing as one of his hands vanishes completely from view. Jake watches the whole exchange from the couch with a look of mixed confusion and horror, which is completely normal for people who’ve just been exposed to the sheer unplumbed depths of shameless beetleshit that Gamzee will do while on unholy cocktails of intoxicants.

"I say, are you chaps doing okay?" the sunwalker asks. Terezi bursts into peals of laughter and you roll your eyes.

"Oh, yeah, everything is just peachy over here," you say, glaring at both of them. "I am always rapturous with delight when my hordes of close friends and family decide to hump my leg like a dog in heat; it's the highlight of my entire fucking existence." Gamzee nuzzles at your shoulder and you gently but firmly tug his head away by the hair. "I said no, dipshit. I know you're off in Candyland right now but try and get it through the toxic ooze in your skull that we would both be nauseous with regret in the morning."

Terezi raises an eyebrow sharply. "Candyland? Karkles, have you been feeding this poor boy Harlot Sweets?"

"He fed them to himself," you reply, maybe a little sharper than the question warranted but, fuck, Gamzee was right. There was no way you could ask him to do what he did stone cold sober.

She picks up on it, of course. "And why would he do a thing like that?" she asks, pulling herself over a blushing Jake to stare at you more intently. You can feel a flush rising on your own face, more to do with anger than embarrassment- although Gamzee is hardly helping with the latter.

"You mean apart from the fact that alchemically altering his brain functions is his favourite hobby besides fucking around like a gutter whore?” you say, keeping a protective arm around your brother who is peeking back over his shoulder in the general direction of Jake. The look on his face falls somewhere between _sultry_ and _lustful,_ neither of which is making the sunwalker look any more comfortable with the situation.

You decide that as long as you’re not drawing the attention of Gamzee’s drugged-up libido, you don’t give a shit who else might be. "You were the one who told us to steal a way to get the collars off and that’s what we fucking well did,” you tell Terezi. “I came up with the only plan that actually had a flame in a downdraft’s chance of working, and Gamzee let that evil bitch put her nasty claws all over him to convince her we were trying to steal her stupid shitty necklace and throw her off the scent.” You stroke a soothing hand across Gamzee’s hair again, trying not to shake as you invite the memories back in. “She fucking tortured me and I screamed like a stuck hog just so everyone would watch me make a complete ass of myself and feel all smug and superior and not notice that complete fucking shit-for-brains you’re using as a comfy seat ripping them off. So if you think I’m going to meekly listen like a good little slave-boy while you sit there in your pretty teal armour and your douchebag eyeglasses and start passing judgements on us then you can go and fuck yourself."

There is a long moment of silence, broken only by some ragged breathing from Gamzee _don’t check what he’s doing don’t check what he’s doing oh gods above and below you do not want to know what he’s doing right now._

"I’m sorry,” says Terezi, and she actually sounds regretful. You watch her warily because even if she’s helping you she’s a Lawkeeper and her kind don’t apologise to people like you. She has to want something- only you don’t know what, and something about the small quirk on her lips seems more open and genuine than anything you’ve seen there before. You’d even call it attractive if you didn’t know what a massive pain in the ass she is most of the time.

"I’m impressed,” she adds, pulling her feet off Jake’s lap altogether and sitting next to him on the couch like an actual sane adult person, which you hadn’t even realised she could do. “Really, I am.” Her nose wrinkles as she grins, the cuteness immediately mitigated by her downright evil snickering. “I knew Cherry Red was the most delicious colour.”

"Fuck you!” you snarl, grabbing a cushion and hurling it in her direction to hide the fact that you are now definitely blushing. She snatches it out of the air and crushes it close to her chest, taking a big theatrical sniff of the fabric where you were lying on it a moment ago. The woman is pure evil; you are now utterly convinced of it.

"Okay, look, we held up our end of the deal,” you say, refusing to play her ridiculous game a moment longer. “Against great and perilous fucking odds, no less. So do you have an escape plan for us or are you just full of hot air?”

Her grin is anything but reassuring, especially since she’s still cradling the cushion like it’s her godsdamned hatchling. “Oh, I have a plan,” she says, cackling. “And it is the best plan. Trust me, you’re going to love it.”

"Yeah, I’ll believe that when I hear it.”

"I’m pretty sure you’ll like it,” Terezi says, petting the cushion with her fingertips like it’s a fluffy mammalian pet, what the actual fuck. “Don’t you have any faith in me, Karkles? After everything you wrote about me in your diary?”

You scowl at her and raise a hand to count off points on your fingers. “One, I didn’t write about you in my journal, I wrote under protest about an imaginary dream girl who happens to have the same name and annoying personal habits as you, so don’t be too godsdamn smug about it. Two, give me my fucking journal back, you thieving shit. Three, if your plan is half so good as you’re talking it up to be I won’t just have faith and believe, I will get on my knees in silent reverent worship of the holy light shining out of your ass. I will be the messianic fucking prophet of your half-cocked pissant plan just so long as it gets us all out of here in one piece!”

Terezi holds her hands up. “Okay, Karkles, you got it.” She taps the end of her white-sheathed swordcane on the floor and as she does you notice that it isn’t the same as the one she was carrying yesterday. “For the first part of the plan, I’m going to require some assistance from you and Mister Minty-Fresh here.”

You’re about raise an objection- there is not a chance in the hells that you’re leaving Gamzee alone in this state to fall prey to assassins- but Jake beats you to the punch. “Now, hold on just a minute here,” he says, frowning as he pulls himself up almost into a crouch. “I thought you said that you would handle the whole escaping dealie!”

Terezi snickers. “What, you thought I was just going to carry you out of here? Sorry, Mister Minty, but you’re going to have to help rescue yourself.”

"It’s not that! It’s…” Jake says, and then hesitates briefly before ploughing ahead. “Look, when she captured me, that- that woman took something of mine. My weapon, actually, which in addition to being a bloody useful gizmo and quite a nifty feat of dwarven engineering also happens to be a family heirloom, and I’d jolly well appreciate not leaving without it!” He shifts in the seat and scratches behind one ear. “I was rather hoping that, well, I’d have the time to pick it up before we scarpered.”

"Hmm.” Terezi studies him thoughtfully. “This weapon- I assume it is a complex work of artifice?” Jake nods, and she beams triumphantly. “Then there is no need for concern; I think I know exactly where it is, and in order to carry out the next step in my plan we have to go right to it.”

"What the fuck…” you begin, before a smart rap on the door cuts you off. Jake freezes, but you and Terezi don’t. She carefully pulls her cane up, ready to draw, and you let the fingers of your free hand close around the hilt of one of your sickles. Not that you think an assassin would bother to knock- actually, you’re amazed that anyone who’s allowed past the guards would bother to knock- but you don’t plan on taking any chances.

The door opens without any need for permission to reveal a group of drow wearing plain white tunics and silver collars, all of whom seem far twitchier than you would expect. Then the group of slaves parts to let a man in a golden collar, not entirely unlike your own, walk through into the room. His lips and nails are painted gold, and he’s almost completely naked except for a pair of pants made from shifting, translucent purple cloth. Jake blushes almost florescent as the man strides into the chambers like he owns the place and stands glaring down at you, arms folded across his- admittedly muscular- chest. You do not let go of the hilt of your sickle for an instant.

"I am here to ensure that the young Lord Kutsanmis is suitably attired for his wedding,” the man says flatly. His eyes flicker towards Gamzee, lying sweaty next to you. "My Lady suggested that my presence might be... _helpful._ "

He says it like he's picking up some rotten scraps of meat from an open sewer, and you narrow your eyes at him. "What's the matter, Mohan, don't like your orders?" you ask him, not even bothering to try and control your smirk. "And here I thought you were overjoyed to do anything that got you lodged further up her glorious highness' ass..."

Fingers fist in your collar and you pull the sickle before he can move you any further; the rest of the room freezes as the pair of you glare at each other over an edged weapon.

"I am happy to do whatever my Lady commands," Mohan says. A sharp-edged, vicious smile spreads across his face. "I should hope you can say the same about yours, gutter-rat."

You have to physically hold your breath to avoid the retort that jumps to your lips; telling this fucker about your escape plans would be a complete disaster. After a moment of silence he snorts in derision and drops you. Your fingers twitch, but you offer no resistance as he crouches down and rolls Gamzee over. Your brother's chest heaves as he glances across at you and you tilt your head slightly- _you sure you want to go with this asshole?_

Gamzee nods his head unevenly. "'S cool, best friend," he mutters. "You got... you got shit to do." He reaches up and wraps his arms around Mohan's neck, legs coming up to wrap around the other drow's waist. Mohan straightens with Gamzee draped over the front of him like a sleepy child, easily supporting the weight as he takes a couple of steps back towards the doorway. Then he pauses and turns back.

"Ah, I nearly forgot," he says, letting one hand slip from supporting Gamzee to fumble for something in the folds of his pants. "A gift, gutter-rat, to celebrate the start of your new life."

He tosses something at you and you reflexively catch it; looking down you see a vial of golden body paint in your hand, and recoil. Mohan chuckles at your furious glare and heads for the door but as he reaches it, Gamzee bites him hard in the shoulder. Mohan stiffens briefly then keeps on walking, the blood starting to ooze from his flesh as your brother wriggles against him and laps at the wound.

The three of you wait in silence until the door closes and the sound of footsteps has died away, then Jake asks; “I don’t mean to be a bother, but that fellow didn’t really seem to like either of you much. Are you sure Gamzee’s safe with him?”

"That was the Lady Kutsanmis’ favourite assassin,” you say blankly, still staring at the small bottle in your hand. “He pretty much thinks Gamzee’s a useless piece of shit on his heel and I’m a few orders of magnitude worse, but she wouldn’t like him so much if he wasn’t completely competent and loyal.”

"Oh,” says Jake, sounding no less uneasy. “Well. I feel a bit of a fool now. What with the, uh, clothes and everything, I’d rather assumed he was…”

"That too,” you say, turning the paint vial over and over in your fingers. “She loves sending him to all her important houseguests; turn him away, it’s an insult to her hospitality. Let him in, you might be found dead in the morning.”

Terezi cackles and you hear Jake hem and haw; suddenly sickened, you hurl the vial at the wall opposite with every ounce of strength you can gather. It shatters on impact, leaving a burst stain on the plaster and the edge of a tapestry, and you feel a sense of vicious satisfaction as thick golden fluid runs slowly down the wall.

"Let’s go,” you say, getting out of the cushion pile and reaching behind the dresser to grab one of the backpacks you loaded down with supplies earlier. You toss the other one to Jake and lead the way into the slave passages, letting Terezi bringing up the rear so that she can steer the parblind dumbass in the right direction. After years of visits, illicit or otherwise, you’re used to navigating the narrow corridors behind the walls and when she whispers your destination you set off without hesitation. Behind you, Jake stumbles and shuffles and collides with you every time you pause; his litany of apology is almost as constant as the curses you hiss back at him.

There isn’t an opening in the tunnels close to your destination, so the final part of your journey takes place in the open. As soon as you reach the last corner you stop, grabbing Jake by the arm and pushing him back against the wall before he can wander out and get spotted by the guards outside the temporary lab.

"Now what?” you whisper to Terezi. She leans around you- getting much too close inside your personal space as she does- and peeks briefly at the door before pulling back with a grin.

"Just wait,” she tells you, and rather than argue like you want to and make noise you fume quietly instead. Jake looks between the two of you uncertainly then flattens himself against the wall without making a peep. You guess maybe he’s not a completely hopeless moron after all.

Fortunately, lurking is a skill that you’ve spent a good portion of your life developing, and you manage to stay alert and cautious rather than fidgeting like there are fleas having the party of the decade in your tunic. Terezi seems to have a similar ability- probably from long hours of lying in wait for perfectly honest thieves who were just trying to make a living- and the two of you manage to keep Jake from giving the game away with a mixture of deadly glaring from you and sharp pinches from Terezi.

After a while, which is about as accurate a measurement as you can summon under the circumstances, you hear footsteps approaching the lab from the opposite direction. You glance around the corner and quickly pull your head back when you see Lady Yetenekli approaching. Terezi responds to your scowl with a grin and a _wait for it_ gesture, so you settle back against the wall. You aren’t waiting long before you hear the door to the lab burst open.

"Who has been in here?” snaps your glorious mistress, long may she rot in the hells. The response, babbled as it is by two different voices, is somewhat indistinct before she interrupts again. “No! You, silence. You, explain.”

"A... a woman from the Temple came by,” the unfortunate guard stammers. “She was marked, Lady! The sign of the Seer herself! We could not refuse her-”

"Enough,” says the Matriarch, and her words are still too clipped and too chilly to be anything but furious. “Both of you, with me.”

"Yes, Lady!” both guards reply, one a half-beat behind the other. There’s another echoing clunk as the door closes and a click as it locks; Terezi barely waits for the footsteps to recede before she jumps out and runs to the door. You follow and nearly collide with her as she stops to poke at the lock.

"What the fuck did you do?” you hiss as Jake jogs up behind you. She grins and taps her fingers on the top of her sword cane.

"I helped justice along,” she says. You continue to glare, and her smile fades. Eyes rolling, she adds; “I provided her with evidence of the plot to assassinate Gamzee.”

"Shit!” Your eyes widen. “You... you complete fucking lunatic! What the bile-spewing everburning hellbats were you even thinking? Are there actual living maggots in your brain? Is the matter with which you attempt to think currently riddled with fungal spores and flesh-eating mould or did they take over your thought patterns years ago?”

She tilts her head and leans against the closed door. “It got her and her guards away from the lab, didn't it?”

"Yeah, straight to where Gamzee is!” you hiss, too angry to whisper and too afraid of drawing attention to shout. “We're supposed to be with him, you bluebellied fuckhead- she'll know we're up to something!”

"I didn't leave them that much. They'll have to investigate further first.”

"Great, so instead of having no time, we have fuck all time instead!”

Terezi steps back and gestures to the locked door. “Then I suggest you open this fast.”

You glare at her, then at the locked door. “Open the door, Karkat,” you mutter under your breath. “Sure, no fucking problem...”

It's made of wood. Expensive, but more importantly, _fragile_. You take a step back and grin evilly because you fucking know this isn't what she meant.

"Like this?” you ask, lifting your foot and giving the door the most almighty kick you have ever delivered to an inanimate object. The result is less impressive than you hoped for, but the splintering sound and loud clatter as the entire locking mechanism falls to the floor is more than enough to justify how smug you feel right now. Jake stares incredulously at the mess, and you shrug. “Well, what were you expecting? This works.”

"... have you considered learning to pick locks?” Jake asks. Terezi starts to chuckle, and for once you smile with her.

"Fuck that shit, I'm badass,” you tell him, pushing the door open and stepping through into the weirdest room you have ever seen in your life.

"Drider shitpits,” you mutter, as you slowly turn to take in all the gadgets and gizmos and strangely coloured bottles scattered across every surface. You don’t know whether to laugh at the enormity of the treasure trove or freak the fuck out because this is an alchemist’s lab, an actual fucking alchemist’s lab, and there is never any good reason for setting foot in one of those.

"Aha!”

You look around to see Jake dart forward and grab something off one of the benches; it looks sort of like a metal tube on a crossbow stock, and sort of like something that you don’t have any fucking clue what it is. He seems to know, though, because he runs through a rapid series of weapon checks that give you new respect for him as a person. Maybe you were too hasty judging him to be completely fucking useless; after all, he’s managed to be at least marginally helpful, and that’s in an unfamiliar place surrounded by strangers. Then again, on the other hand, he's still an empty-headed fuckwit, so maybe not.

"Over there, Minty,” Terezi says, walking up behind Jake to point past him. You look into the shadowy corner she's indicating, and fear freezes your entire cardiovascular system for a few precious seconds before you notice that the hideous, elfin monstrosity dangling from the ceiling isn’t moving. You back slowly away as Jake approaches it, a grossly elongated thing of bronze and silver struts and bubbling fluids. There are eyes floating in the dome on top, open and staring, and you can’t help but wonder what poor fucker they belonged to before the Lady who put a collar around your neck ripped them out for her alchemy experiments.

Jake runs a hand along the thing’s chestplate, his expression almost admiring. “Golly, I’ve never seen a golem like this before,” he says, eyes flickering to take in every detail. “Actually, I’ve only seen the one golem, and that was years ago- but I’ve read a lot about them since, and none of the descriptions were of something like this!”

"I think it’s a new invention,” Terezi says softly, walking up behind Jake and eyeing the golem almost as cautiously as you. “And a very dangerous one at that.” She turns to the sunwalker, her mouth twisting into a warped grin. “Think you can reprogram it?”

Jake gives the twisted heap of metal and glass an appraising look. “I can certainly give it a shot,” he says, approaching the thing. “Hmm. Do you know if there's some sort of access panel?”

Deciding there are better uses of your time than making yourself ill by watching some bastard offspring of alchemy and artifice in the making, you start to wander around the room and poke through the piles in search of something that looks useful, valuable, or at least complete. It doesn’t take you long to identify a pile of slim rods as identical to the one your exalted mistress used to create light, and with a glance over at Jake you scoop as many as possible into a stained leather satchel that you find dumped in a corner. Under the satchel you find a baggy vest full of pockets, and with a shrug you ball it up and shove it in beside the rods. It’ll probably be useful for keeping you warm in the caves, even if only by use as firelighters. Various gemstones and scraps of shiny metal go in after it; you don’t know what sunwalkers use for currency, but if they won’t accept rare shiny rocks as barter goods then the world is so utterly fucking retarded that you might as well just sit down and beat your head against a wall until the roof caves in and puts you out of your misery.

You hesitate when you reach a table that holds row after row of glass phials. You are one hundred per cent certain that they’d be insanely useful in your goal of continued survival, but without labels you have no fucking clue what they do or how. You chance a look back at the other two, but they’re still involved with the golem.

"HEY!” you yell, and they look around. You are about to ask them about the bottles, when you feel something catch against the satchel strap; you turn just in time to see one of the bottles drop off the table, and then all hell breaks loose.

A flicker of heat and light is the only warning you get, but it's enough. You dive aside as the whole table goes up in flames, pressing your face to the ground and wrapping your arms over your head to protect yourself from the shards of broken glass that patter to the ground all around you. You can smell smoke and hear things cracking and shattering in flames; venturing to raise your head, you see that there is a pile of blackened rubble where the table was only moments ago, and that the surrounding surfaces are now host to a dozen small fires which are greedily spreading across a film of some clear substance that you don't recognise.

"Come on!” yells a voice, and someone grabs your arm; you stumble after Terezi as she drags you to the door. The pair of you are overtaken by Jake, still wielding some strange alchemical tool in one hand as he charges past you with a carefree laugh and crashes against the far wall of the corridor. You stagger out just as a secondary explosion rocks the lab, and the three of you stumble like drunkards around the corner, out the way of the destruction.

For what seems like an age, you say nothing. Then Jake snorts with laughter, hand resting on the wall to support him as he leans over almost double. Terezi leans next to him and starts giggling, and you stare at them like they both lost their minds.

"Did it somehow skip your notice that the lab just fucking _exploded?_ ” you demand. “Or am I just hallucinating wildly? Fuck, at this point that might actually be a better option. I would this to all be imaginary now, please, and fuck my own brain so much for _trying to kill me with fire!_ ”

Terezi pats you gently on the shoulder. “Relax, Karkles. The golem is going to be fine.”

"Well, then, everything's just sugar and oranges, isn't it! We are going to get drawn and fucking quartered but that's fine, just so long as the unnatural abomination of everything good and wholesome about this hellish craphole world survived okay!

Terezi raises an eyebrow. “If you run, you two can make it to Gamzee in time for an alibi.”

You glare at her. “What the fuck kind of alibi are we supposed to have for not guarding the person we were specifically told to guard? Because you can bet that fuckbag Mohan isn't going to keep his mouth shut!”

Terezi leans over and, with a smile, ruffles your hair. Then before you can stop her, she grabs your collar with one hand and shoves the other up under your tunic. You yelp and jump backwards, but she's already turned her attention to Jake. He yells and tries to beat her off with his hands as she tugs his tunic up and disarranges his clothing; she finishes off with a firm pinch to his rear.

"There,” she says, standing back to admire her handiwork. “You two show up looking like that and out of breath, and I guarantee nobody will suspect a thing.”

You and Jake share a look which says _this never happened,_ and you sling your backpack and satchel towards Terezi with more force than is strictly necessary before grabbing Jake's hand and charging back into the hidden corridors of the House.  


### Suggestions Used

 _unholygrunt_ \- Everyone should fall in love with Jake and he promptly falls in love with a ghost.

 _ttdOOOO_ – Everybody that makes sense: Be attracted to [Jake] at first sight. I find that as hilarious a running gag as Roxy trying to get in [John's] pants.

 _MASK_ \- Jake: keep getting hit on by strange (drow) women. and men.

 _WhiteTiger1221_ – Terezi: Get into contact with your shanty friend. Even with your limited level of influence you should be able to speak to some new recruits. Then think of an escape plan, it will be challenging, Perfect.

 _WhiteTiger1221_ \- Karkat: Explain to Terezi what you had to do to get these potions and how she should be fucking grateful that the 3 of you even managed to pull it off. (I know this kind of happened this chapter, but it wasn't in detail, so maybe it'll be elaborated on.)

 _WhiteTiger1221_ \- Terezi: This shanty thief, who should by all odds not even be able to read, just outsmarted an incredibly intelligent, incredibly paranoid and incredibly crafty Drow noble. Looks like Mister Cherry Red is far smarter than he appears. Be honestly impressed by the accomplishments of the 3.

 _WhiteTiger1221_ \- Terezi: Say/do something to make Karkat flustered.

 _WhiteTiger1221_ \- Karkat: Get flustered.

 _Ryo Hoshi_ – Gamzee: Enjoy(?) the side effects of the blend until it finally wears off.

 _WhiteTiger1221_ \- Gamzee: Get a prize or something, seriously you deserve it. Drown out the noise of the Bard, he doesn't know what he's talking about, you and your bro did it and the Bard can't do anything to stop the high you're on now.

 _MASK_ \- Lady Yetenekli: find note; skip the rehearsal

 _WhiteTiger1221_ \- Jake: Begin contemplating ways to retrieve your firearms, they would surely give you an edge in the upcoming escape.

 _LostSock_ \- Jake: Be reluctant to make your daring escape with your father's pistol still in Lady Yetenekli's hands.

 _td0000_ \- Jake: Get gun(s?) back, there's no telling what that evil matron will do with them.

 _Antartique_ \- Jake: Your precious weapons are being held hostage, you could try to recover them.

 _ttdoooo_ \- Jake: Convince Karkat to steal or destroy your pistol rather than leave it in enemy hands.

 _ttdoooo_ \- Karkat: If you're going to be the goto guy for theft, you might want to take levels of rogue, just saying.

 _MASK_ \- Karkat: acquire an Incredibly Useful Thing

 _MASK_ \- Karkat: accidentally set something on fire during your daring escape.

 _Stalker_ – Terezi: grab Jake’s butt!  
[System Notes](http://celynbrum.tumblr.com/post/59702743800/lodad-system-notes-chapter-30)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> …
> 
> Look! A distraction!
> 
> EDIT:  
> Moved the notes from the top of the chapter to the bottom, and farmed system notes out to Tumblr.


	31. -- THE KNIGHT OF BLOOD --

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Hero point votes:**  
>  Karkat 2  
> John 1  
> Roxy 1  
> Gamzee 1  
> KARKAT GAINS ONE HERO POINT!  
> Voting now open for the next Hero Point award: one person will get one after three chapters.

## THE KNIGHT OF BLOOD

[](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/kox579e54njafv1/Knight%20of%20Blood.png?dl=0)   
  
_Hellscourge, the Sufferer, General of the Lost, He Who Never Forgets_

ALIGNMENT: True Neutral

PORTFOLIO: Survival, Conflict, Ambition, Loyalty

DOMAINS: Nobility (Martyr & Leadership), Knowledge (Memory), War (Blood), Strength (Resolve), Community (Home), Law (Loyalty)

FAVOURED WEAPON: Sickle

THE KNIGHT OF BLOOD is a god called on in determination and desperation; he stands not for those who choose to fight, but those who must, and is the final recourse when surrender is not an option.

HISTORY  
Those who tell tales of the Knight know better than to look to him for valiant stands and better days ahead; he is the god who deals with pain, loss and suffering, and the only gift he has to give is the strength to keep forging onwards long after hope has fled. At best his attitude to the world seems to be one of benevolent frustration; at worst, his snarling, hate-filled fury is the poison that leads men to prey upon one another.

PANTHEONS AND RELATIONSHIPS  
The Knight of Blood appears in the worship of two different pantheons as well as individually.

In the PANTHEON OF BLOOD, he is the leader of the gods- albeit an aggressively ambitious leader whose authority is uncertain and oft-ignored. His ability to bind the quarrelsome pantheon together springs from the fact that most of them are fond of him, save for the MAID OF TIME whose acquiescence is drawn from her close ties to the MAGE OF DOOM. In this pantheon the SEER OF MIND is his consort and guide, but also his manipulator, and their tempestuous relationship is indicative of the pantheon as a whole.

Within the STARWALKERS, a pantheon whose worship has faded in all but a few lands, he is not leader but instead a follower of the SEER OF LIGHT, a guardian and defender alongside the KNIGHT OF TIME with whom he has a rivalry that goes from bitter to brotherhood by tale. In opposition to his fellow Knight he is the more aggressive but less focused warrior; in some tales it is his often antagonistic behaviour that costs him the love of the SEER OF MIND. He is sometimes said to be close to and beloved of the BARD OF RAGE, and has protected the other deity from the wrath of the SYPLH OF SPACE through his close kinship with her.

Alone, he is the deity of ambition and of lost causes; the motto of many of his scattered, disparate followers is "never give in". He often frequents the legends of other gods, and despite his uniformly hostile attitude can be surprisingly helpful. Older legends paint him as having a virulent yet affectionate relationship with the WITCH OF SPACE, for example, and his exchanges with the MAID OF LIFE are often loud but ultimately friendly. His kinship with the BARD OF RAGE is sometimes present even in solo worship, with various legends speaking of a quest or journey in which he travels the worlds alone in search of his wayward brother.

As an antagonist to other pantheons or deities, he is often present as the force of unchecked ambition and bloody violence. He is said to hold a deep enmity for the HEIR OF BREATH and the KNIGHT OF TIME, for different reasons, and appears often in the tales of these gods to insult, attack or oppose them. Since the fall of his church, more and more tales painting him as the villain have arisen. The generally angry and unrepentantly ruthless nature of his followers, who are all too often outcasts and outlaws, has done little to dispel the idea that he is a dangerous and volatile enemy of all decent souls.

APPEARANCE AND EMISSARIES  
The Knight of Blood is commonly depicted as a tiefling, a merrow or a drow; his eyes are blood-red and he is always dressed entirely in grey. Sometimes he is shown robed, sometimes in armour, and most common depictions of him are either alone or else surrounded by only the dead. Mostly his depictions seem angry or at least suspicious, but there is a significant minority of images in which he attempts to hide his face as he weeps blood.

SERVANTS  
Creatures thought of as vermin, strays and mongrels are, if not chosen of the Knight of Blood, at least tolerated by him more than other creatures would be. Curiously, crabs and other crustaceans are sacred to him, and one apocryphal test for whether a suspect is in his service is to offer them a lobster dinner and see if they attempt to shove a claw in their benefactor's eye.

_The Wandering Warrior_  
Legend has it that this Aelfen was a Paladin of the Knight at the time the Church of Blood fell; although he survived the war, he lost all that he cared for in the carnage. Tales speak of him travelling the world, offering his aid to those in need and seeking vengeance on whatever force of heaven or earth decreed the destruction of all he loved. According to the myths, The Knight favoured him so much that he never died, and still walks the world to this day- although those who see him rarely know who it is that they have encountered.

_Scarlock_  
This mysterious, grey-shrouded figure has been sighted throughout history, and is said to appear to followers of the Knight who have won their god's contempt or disfavour. These victims are passed a slip of paper, on which are written inventive and colourful curses- which inevitably come to pass.

_Hoems_  
The Knight has little use for a blade when he gets a better weapon, and many heroes and villains have claimed to wield one of his discarded sickles. Hoems is the most famed of these, a blade glittering with magic which appears again and again throughout history- usually in time to slay a person of fame and power.

CHURCH  
Temples of the Knight are rarely permanent things, these days; most worshippers maintain a small, easily portable shrine or else simply pray wherever they find themselves. Older ruins and converted buildings show that once his temples lay at the beating heart of the great cities of the past.

WORSHIPPERS AND CLERGY  
Clerics of the Knight of Blood are True Neutral, Neutral Good, Neutral Evil, Lawful Neutral, or Chaotic Neutral.

Followers of the Knight are bandits and beggars, orphans and outcasts. Any desperado who stands outside society and relies on their own strength and wits for survival has reason to seek his counsel.

The clergy of the Knight are in general Paladins, Knights and Battle Oracles, albeit not ones that would be easily recognised as such. His devout followers are often rebels or revolutionaries of one kind or another, and for good or ill they refuse to see their ambitions thwarted.

TEMPLES AND SHRINES  
In recent times, the worship of the Knight of Blood has fallen from favour. His old temples, once grand and spacious buildings decorated with carvings, paint, and extremely large statues of the god, have fallen to ruin or been repurposed. Now his shrines are small, often to the point of non-existence. Nevertheless, most of his worshippers still carry an emblem of the Sacred Sickle about their person.

HOLY TEXTS  
The holy texts of the Temple of Blood that survived the Purging are invariably long, furious rants about everything that the Knight and his chosen prophets have ever considered to be at fault with the world. Reading between the lines, however, many of them can be seen as guides for improvement.

_Fuck My Life, Seriously, I Have To Do This?_  
The oldest known book, supposedly either written or dictated by the god himself, it consists of stories in which he explains the apparent reasons for his deep, undying hatred for every other god, demigod, planar lord and minor spirit in existence. Since most of these beings appear as allies or even friends in other stories, the accuracy of any timeline is hotly debated, although some past scholars have noted that the earlier tales fit extremely well into the Skaian Mythos.

_The Soldier In Grey_  
A series of stories, linked in the form of a journey, in which the Knight travels the world and the planes in search of the BARD OF RAGE. Most of the stories appear to be based on the ones from Fuck My Life, but with poetic license adding plot and structure and removing as many extended rage-filled tangents as possible while retaining the character of the deity.

_Cants And Signs_  
A helpful reference book, written by some long-dead thief who was presumably a worshipper, to various thieves' dialects and secret sign languages. All versions of the book currently in common circulation are hopelessly outdated, but authorities have noted that a new edition seems to crop up every few decades courtesy of an author unknown. The back contains a helpful summary of ways to say “Fuck you, asshole,” in every language in the known world.

HOLIDAYS  
Cults and temples of the Knight consider holidays to be an opportunity to lament your faults and failings, of which there are assuredly many. Combined with the fact that most dedicated followers of the Knight are too busy trying to survive or protect something or someone to take a break, this means that there have never been any official festivities or holy days associated with the god.

[ ](http://th00.deviantart.net/fs71/PRE/i/2013/065/4/e/knight_of_blood_by_persephone_the_fish-d5x5cly.jpg)

Knight Of Blood Portrait by [proserpine-in-phases](http://proserpine-in-phases.tumblr.com/)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back to the god chapters! Hooray...?
> 
> I had fun with this one, although I think I'm going to have to write at least one history entry at some point. Maybe when I run out of Gods? :)


	32. ==> John: Befriend A Kobold. Name Her Casey.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Hero point votes:**  
>  Terezi 1  
> John 1

## ==> John: Befriend A Kobold. Name Her Casey.

“...going to be heroes, just like in the stories, and then they'll make stories about us and they'll be awesome!” You grin at Dave, marching on the other side of the caravan to you because Dirk refused point-blank to leave it behind just to follow some nakking lizards. You think his face might be a little stonier than usual, but that's probably just because he's jealous of how amazing your sagas are going to be compared to his. “Don't worry, buddy, I'll make sure they mention your undead-slaying in between the bits about how brilliant I was!”

Roxy laughs aloud, inches from your ear. She's been clinging to your arm ever since the kobolds guiding your way cut Dirk and Jane down from the trees; she seems a bit wobbly from all the booze, but you think that really she just wants an excuse to get closer to you. The thought makes your innards go all hot and wobbly as you ponder Dave's question again. _Do_ you like Roxy in that way?

“Where- nope, we're- the heroes,” she hoots, throwing her head back and not incidentally nearly tumbling over again. You stop her falling easily enough but as she straightens you get a pretty good view of her ample cleavage, and the hot wobbly feeling steps up a notch. You are suddenly very, very aware of the hand you have around her waist and how close it is to her butt. Your cheeks flush a little redder as you realise this pretty much answers that question.

Of course, that still leaves the possibility that Dave misread the situation. Roxy has been pretty drunk all day. And most of yesterday. And actually, now you think of it, most of the time ever. But you were raised to be a gentleman, and that means not taking advantage of drunken wizards who might just be looking for a young fellow full of mangrit to help them not fall over. Plus it could be a prank. She seemed pretty keen to try snatching masks with you earlier, and she seems pretty close to Dirk who was apparently flirting with you as a joke and oh, fuck, if this is all some big ploy to make fun of you Dave is not going to live out the night, that fuck.

Fortunately, you do have a reliable source to ask about Roxy's behaviour. You gently prod her until she flops over onto Rose. The Oracle accepts her with a stern look in your direction that says: _I hope you don't expect me to deal with this ridiculousness on a permanent basis._

"I just need to talk to my sis,” you tell her, and she waves you off with a put-upon look that you ignore in favour of dropping your pace to walk beside Jane.

Your sister looks at you suspiciously. “This had better not be the start of a prank.”

"What? No!” You hold your hands up in declaration of innocence. “Come on, Jane, you know I wouldn't!”

“You would,” Jane replies. A small smile quirks at the corners of her mouth. “And you'd be a very silly sausage too, because you know I clean the floor with your amateur ass!”

You grin back. “Is that a challenge?”

She hesitates for a moment. “I'm hardly sure this is the time for a prank war. As Miss Rose took pains to point out to me, this is a serious business we're about.”

You make a clucking noise and flap your arms like a chicken. Your sister narrows her eyes, then spits on her hand and holds it out to you. You perform the same gesture and shake on it.

"We'll see who's the better prankster,” she says. “Just you wait and see what I've got in mind for you! Hoo hoo hoo!”

You're about to answer when it strikes you what you've done. “Oh, crap!” Jane tilts her head quizzically and you nod towards Rose and Roxy, staggering about ahead of you. “I was going to ask about whether Roxy really likes me, but now you'll just try and make me look an idiot!”

Jane shakes her head and tuts sadly. “John, I'm shocked you could think of me that way. Roxy is a friend and you're my brother. I wouldn't play with your hearts, that would just be cruel!”

You consider this for a few yards. Jane has a point; like you and your mother she's a trickster and can pull pranks with the best, but she's never been malicious.

"Okay, then, so what do you think?” you ask her, lowering your voice so that Dave won't overhear and mock you later. “You know her better than I do, I mean you spent all that time with her, so really you should do...”

A finger across your lips cuts you off and Jane smiles. “She likes you, doofus.”

"Really?” you ask, voice muffled slightly by the finger.

“Yes.” Jane pulls her hand away from your face and beams at you. “And she's also utterly toasted, so don't even think about making a move on her or I'll see you hogtied, buster!”

You stick your tongue out at her. “Pfft, like you'd dare, when we're on world-saving duty!”

"Remember the time on scout patrol when I hid your breeches before morning parade?” Jane asks, voice mild. “As I recall, you had to turn out in your breechcloth, and got latrines for a month.”

You laugh. “Oh, yeah, you got me good that time! But I got you back. Ink in the clothes boiler, remember?”

"I do hope that the pair of you are not planning to enmesh the rest of us in your schemes,” said Rose, dropping back with Roxy leaning across her shoulder. “Otherwise I would also be forced to participate, and I can assure you that I am rarely matched in games of wits. Especially when given access to my tormentors boots and a variety of small but toothsome animals.”

You share a look with Jane. “We'll be good,” you promise, fingers crossed behind your back. Rose snorts in disbelief and levers her chuckling sister back towards you.

"I believe this is yours,” she says with a small smile, turning back. You look at Roxy, draped at your side. She grins at you.

“Hiya, handsome,” she says. “Miss me?”

You glance back at Jane, who stabs two fingers towards her eyes and then at you. _Watching you, Mister._

"Sure,” you tell Roxy. “So, I was thinking, I haven't told you about my other brother and sister, have I?”

“You got a broth'r?” Roxy slurs. She leans in and her wine-smelling breath tickles your neck. “Ish he ass hawt as you?”

“Well, I've never really met him,” you say, a little uncomfortable with the direction this is headed. “Or Jade, either. But we might meet them sort of soon, and I bet they'll be really jealous, since we've been having all these neat adventures and they've just been hanging out in boring old caves and forests and stuff!”

“Wish I could be that optimistic,” Dirk says from up on the caravan seat. He looks at the kobolds up ahead with suspicion. “Of course, the problem with real adventures is the better than even chance that someone ends up dead or maimed.”

You wave your free hand dismissively in the air. “That's nowhere near as common as people say! There were loads of adventurers at my parents' inn and hardly any of them even lost limbs!”

Dirk leans around in his seat to look at you. “Uh-huh. And how many of them were trying to save the entire world from destruction?”

"So we're on a big quest of destiny!” you say, refusing to let him get you down. “We've even got the Oracle of Light on our side. Fate will protect us, you'll see.”

The look you get is inscrutable. “Having a destiny isn't the same as being fated to win.”

"Chill it, bro,” says Dave. “Not the time, not the person and besides-” he points to the path ahead- “we're here.”

You look up to see a rough row of sharpened stakes guarding the mouth of a cave, the dark maw lit by the dim glow of torches and swallowed by the trees all around. Small shadows move across the flames and you see the silhouettes of drawn weapons, slings and bows. You wonder when it got quite so dark, and cast another glance at Roxy leaning on your shoulder when it occurs to you that for a while now she, Rose, Dave and Dirk have been practically blind.

The leader of the kobolds you're with steps out and starts nakking; the kobolds behind the barricade reply, and then he turns to Dirk.

"You leave cart,” he says.

“It's a caravan,” Dirk replies. “And also, fuck no.”

The kobold folds his arms. “Cannot take caravan. No space, many traps. Bad thing, very bad.” You can see him grin toothily. “Is okay. Will not eat horse.”

"Well, this is just peachy,” Dirk says, jumping down from the seat and feeling his way over to Maplehoof's head. He pats her gently while passing the reins to a nervous-looking kobold. The tiny lizard-man jumps when Dirk points an accusing finger at him. “If anything happens to my precious and beautiful pony, I am going to kill every single last one of you scaly little shits, starting with you.”

The kobold naks nervously, and cowers away from Dirk as he strides into the darkness ahead. You shrug and follow on after, helping Roxy pick her way across the rocky and uneven ground underfoot. You don't know how Dave is managing, although you do spot Rose stumble before reaching the mouth of the cave.

The kobolds manning the defences turn out to be yellow, with short and rounded snouts that you find kind of endearing. They glub and blow sticky spit-bubbles as you pass. You catch Jane's eye and she smiles; you're not the only one who thinks the little guys are kind of cute.

As you travel deeper into the cave you start to see more kobolds, red and yellow, watching you from the shadows. They look sort of hungry, and some of them are holding what look like babies. You remember the stories that some of your parents' customers used to tell, about killing kobolds and clearing out their nests. At the time you thought it sounded heroic; now it makes you feel ill.

"Here it is; central chamber!” Your guide throws his arms up as you step into a large, round cave lit by the fire in a pit at the centre. The air is thick with smoke, not thick enough to make you cough but enough to cover the ground like a heavy fog and make everything smell of burning wood.

“So, has anyone else noticed that we're now surrounded and trapped in the lair of a bunch of nakking lizards?” Dave stage-whispers as you are led closer to the central fire. “I mean, no pressure, but I was thinking of running a book on the chances of us getting eaten here.”

You look around the cave at the staring eyes, glittering in firelight. There are more little ones in here, and although all of the adults seem to be armed only the ones escorting you have weapons that look like they're not about to fall apart. You guess they could be planning to eat you, but somehow you think they really are looking for some help.

Your guide stops in front of a red-scaled kobold who is almost bent double under the weight of an extraordinary headdress. The thing is covered in feathers and bone and glittery things that might be gems or might be glass, and it's easily as tall as the kobold itself. The headdress-kobold looks at the group of you and starts nakking with your guide. You notice that his- or her- gums are toothless, and wonder if the kobold might be stooping with more than the weight of their very fine hat.

"I wonder what they're saying,” Jane says quietly.

“Oh, th' war leader's sayin' how he found the ones the golden elf forsh... foretolled, and brought them here.”

You all stare at Roxy, who beams muzzily at you all. “What? You can't unnerstand?”

"What else are they saying?” Dirk asks. Roxy furrows her brow in concentration.

“Umm... sayin' that he foun' the promished onesis, so now ev'rythin's gon' be okay-dokey!”

“Wait, how the fuck are you understanding this?” Dave asks, waving a hand to the two nakking kobolds. “Is this some sort of magic shit? Are we getting unformed ether up in our hair? Because had that once and it didn't wash out, like even when I used lemon and vinegar.”

“There is no magic involved,” Rose says absently, her attention focused on the nakking. “My sister and I are simply conversant in the draconic language. Now if you don't mind, I would like to listen; I believe there is about to be a speech and I would like to comprehend it.”

Roxy grins at your stunned expression and nearly falls over. “'S oblivious,” she says.

"Obvious?” Jane asks, and Roxy nods.

“Tha' too.”

Silence falls across the cave as the old kobold- and you're sure now that he or she is old, because a young kobold surely wouldn't move so slowly- gets to their feet and taps the ground with a gnarled stave.

"NAK!” it proclaims in a gravelly voice. “Naknak! Nak nak naknak nak nak naknaknak!”

“Okay...” Roxy says, narrowing her eyes. “She's sayin'... that the time of the hunt is here... an' how the glud- the golden elfy person promised that the Skydancer and the Tick-Tock Man would come... oh, fucks!”

“What? What is it?” you ask, helping her over to a rock as she starts to slide down.

“They're the prey,” she whispers, eyes wide and startlingly pink. “For some little fleshies and the tree-men, I d'know what, but somethin' 'bout the green moon bein' full means they're gonna get hunted and slaughtered and...” she breaks off to sniffle. “They're scarred. I mean scared. Really scared, and they wan' us to save them.”

“Well then, we have to do something,” Jane says. “We can't just let them all die.”

“Why not?” Dirk asks, a single eyebrow shifting behind his mask. “I would have thought a good city-dweller like you wouldn't mind a few less kobolds in the world.”

Jane scowls and waves a hand across the cave. “There are _babies_ in here!” she says, hissing her words to avoid shouting. “And okay, maybe some kobolds are pesky, but that doesn't mean they all are, and we can't just walk away from mass murder!”

"She's right,” you say, surprising yourself with how strongly you feel about it. “This isn't right; there has to be something we can do!”

You think you see Dirk's mouth quirk upwards a little, but any further talk is interrupted by the uproar around the cave. You whirl to see kobolds jumping to their feet to nak and glub in noisy unison; you reach for your hammer, but then a small yellow kobold attaches itself to your leg and glubs happily at you and you realise that this isn't an attack or protest, it's a celebration. You look imploringly at Rose, who sighs.

"Very well. I concur that we may have a moral duty to aid these beings.” She frowns. “I would still advise caution. Kobolds are not known for their friendliness to other races, and we cannot be sure whether they may have mistaken us for some other travellers.”

“Do you really think they have?” Jane asks. Rose shakes her head.

“I confess that I do not think it likely, but that raises more questions than it answers. While it seems likely that 'Skydancer' and 'Tick-Tock Man' are references to some pre-existing cultural heroes, this golden elf bothers me. I would like to know what his business was here, and how he knew of our approach.”

“So what do we do?” Jane asks.

“We could look for evidence,” Dirk says. “Maybe ask one of the kobolds to tell us about these heroes of theirs.”

There is a faint glub from around your knees and you look down to see the little kobold tugging on your breeches. She definitely looks like a girl, and you immediately decide that you can't just keep thinking of her as 'that little kobold'.

"Hey, Casey, what's up?” you ask her. She glubs again and starts tugging you towards the wall. All around you kobolds step respectfully aside, but there is a general mood of expectancy as your group passes.

“Casey?” Rose asks, raising an eyebrow as she comes up beside you. You shrug.

“She looks like a Casey,” you say, unable to put into words the ease with which the name came to mind.

Rose looks critically at your little girl. “I am quite certain that this child has a name already,” she says. “Besides, Viceroy Bubbles Von Salamancer is a far superior appellation.”

You reach out to cover the child's ears in pretend shock. “What kind of name is that for a little girl?”

"And how do you know he is not a little boy?” Rose asks sweetly. You glare, and pat the puzzled looking kobold on the head.

“Don't worry about her, Casey,” you say in your most reassuring voice. “She's just being deliberately confusing.”

Casey glubs then continues dragging you towards the far wall. Beside you Rose sighs.

"Ah, well. I suppose it's not as if she were an octopus.”

You look over at her, curious. “An octopus?”

She casts a glance back at the others, then in even softer tones whispers; “Cephalopods are fascinating creatures. I have always wanted to own one.” A fleeting smile appears on her face and you grin back, glad to have seen this side of her even if it is a bit weird. You've seen octopus. You don't think you'd even want to eat one, let alone keep it as a pet.

Then you arrive at the wall and your attention is taken by the colourful drawings smeared and smudged across the stone. You look at them, scattered seemingly at random across an entire wall; some of the figures are kobold-shaped, while others look more like trees and rocks and spears and maybe an egg? You shake your head. Casey may be adorable but her people don't seem to be the best artists.

"Does this make any sense to you?” Rose asks Dirk as the other aasimar walks up. He studies the wall by the flickering light and shakes his head.

“Nope. Can't make sense of it like this. At least we know they keep records, though.” He turns and beckons to Dave. “Hey, bro, you got any thoughts?”

Dave wanders over with a shrug. “I can look, dude, but don't expect miracles. I'm still not so sure we shouldn't just bug out of here, but I guess if John's sticking around I've got to be here to protect his pathetic ass.”

You make a fart noise at him as he passes, and he shoves you affectionately in the shoulder. You straighten in time to see him peer at the wall.

"Huh,” he says.

“Well, I guess that was a waste of time,” Dirk says. Dave gives his brother an odd look.

“Bro, how can you not read this?”

“Perhaps because it is a series of random, low-quality pictures?” Rose suggests. Dave shakes his head, reaching out a hand towards the wall and tracing the shapes on it a few inches from the surface.

“Nah, this is clear as daylight,” he says. “Whole beautiful story written up here, like some stained-glass window in a big-ass temple.”

“If you can understand it, then what does it say?” Jane says, putting her hands on her hips in challenge. Dave looks back for a fraction of a second, then turns his head back to the wall.

“You wanna know?” he says, and you can hear a trace of amusement in his tone. “Well, hold your helmets, ladies and gents, because I am about to blow up a storm in here. I am gonna be handing out amazement like it's free beer and you are gonna get drunk on it.” He sticks his hands out, fingers interlaced, and cracks the bones; a strange hush falls across the watching kobolds. “So listen up kids, because starting from the top...”

“sit your ass down and listen to the word  
of the gods and the clan and the egg and the world  
in the start of time at the heart of space  
lay the egg of the dragon in the sacred place”

You nearly jump out of your skin when the kobolds start to keep a rhythm, stamping feet and clapping hands making a slow beat that matches Dave's words exactly. It's made doubly eerie by the odd little humming thing that some of them are doing. You hadn't realised they could make noises other than “nak” and “glub”.

“at the start of time when the egg was whole  
the egg breathed life and it birthed a soul  
the dragon had a daughter fierce and true  
and she learned the laws of the world as she grew

till time had turned and the dark grew cold  
so the dragons daughter turned from the fold  
she went up to the surface up to the light  
where the suns bright fire burned out her sight

yeah thats right she went to the day  
with her nose and her wits to guide her way  
she walked through the storm she walked through the rain  
she walked through the desert and she passed through pain

one hard day on the road she found  
a stranger playin danger fury and sound  
she knocked him down but she asked him why  
he said im alone but i still gotta try”

Dave pauses just as the kobolds break out a brief chant. It's weirdly beautiful for something that doesn't even sound quite like language, but it's only brief, and as soon as they stop he starts up again.

“im looking for my brother have you seen him pass  
and she showed him her eyes as blank as glass  
she said youre alone will you travel with me  
he said fuck that im as happy as can be

but the outcast followed in the daughters path  
and they traveled together in joy and wrath  
and on days there was love on days there was hate  
but always together they were facin fate”

The kobolds chant again but your attention is on Dave. He's hardly looking at the wall any more; the words seem to be flowing straight out of his own head but if that's true then how do the kobolds know what he's doing?

“met two others playing by the way  
marked in the colours and the shades of day  
one lived on the breeze and the other one sang  
they were the skydancer and the tick-tock man

the tick-tock man and the outcast fought  
fought for the daughter cos her love they sought  
the skydancer laughed then he flew away  
returned as he promised at the start of day

with him came the children of the egg  
kin of the dragon followed where he led  
stopped all the fighting for a greater task  
no point dwelling on the bad shit passed

skydancer taught the kin to laugh  
taught us to trick and to think be fast  
tick-tock man taught the kin to fight  
taught us pride and taught us might”

The third chant sounds and by now you can almost see the pictures on the wall moving; four stylised beings, halfway between dragon and kobold, their scales blue and red and silvery grey. It occurs to you that this isn't just a painting; this is the kobold equivalent of the paintings in a temple. This cave has just become a holy place and you are standing in it without a clue what you're doing.

“outcast taught the kin to live  
taught us to take and taught us to give  
from the dragons daughter the kin got law  
taught us what we were living for

four gods rule us and guide our lives  
four gods truth to face all the lies  
skydancer outcast tick-tock man  
and the dragons daughter where the tales began”

The last echoes of the kobold chanting fade away and you look, stunned, at Dave.

"Dude, how did you...?”

Dave shrugs. “Eh. You know. Basically I'm fucking awesome.” He nods to the now-quiet kobolds. “Although I guess the backup singers helped, so thanks, guys. And presumably girls.”

You're not the only one giving him an odd look; Rose seems decidedly thoughtful too. “That was a very interesting performance,” she says, eyes narrowing. “And one that makes it apparent that the Skydancer and Tick Tock Man are divine, although not which gods they are. I should very much like to know how you managed it.”

"That I think I can explain,” Dirk says, his voice level but speaking with a deliberate slowness that you've never heard from him before. When Dave looks at him in surprise, he taps his wrist. “I think you'd better show her, bro.”

“Fuck that,” Dave says, stepping back from his brother. “I thought we agreed this shit wasn't what we did.”

“Circumstances have changed,” Dirk replies evenly. Dave actually looks angry at that; unnerved, you take a step backwards.

“You know what, bro, how about you drop the cryptic bullshit, okay? Nobody's impressed, we've already got a bona fide oracle for that, so you can just go back to being a regular asshole and leave this shit the fuck alone like we always have!”

Dirk rolls his eyes. You actually see him roll them. “You know what? If you're going to be such a big baby about it...” He reaches up and grabs his collar and tugs it down, wriggling his shoulders so that one of them is visible through the hole. For a moment you aren't sure why he would do that, then you see the darker bands of skin and suddenly you feel like you can't breathe, because right there on Dirks' shoulder is the symbol of the Prince of Heart and it looks just like the ones Rose and Roxy have.

Just like your own.

Cursing, Dave yanks off his right bracer and thrusts his arm forward, palm down, pulling his sleeve up to reveal a dark cog-mark on the outside of his wrist.

Rose leans over it and raises an eyebrow. “Hmm.”

"Hmm?” Dave repeats. “Really? I show you something so unbelievably amazing that it's never been seen by non-family members and that's all you can say? You're lucky your eyes didn't melt right out of your head with how fucking magical this mark is.”

“I was just thinking that it hardly seems coincidental that you and your brother have these marks, given that my sister and myself do and the nature of our quest.”

“I thought the same,” Dirk says, studying the wall paintings. “And I also thought that if that were the case, then it seems probable that the Tick-Tock Man would be the Knight of Time. It's fairly common, after all, for the gods to appear under different names in different pantheons.”

Rose nods. “Yes, I see that. Who do you suppose the other deities mentioned might be?”

Dirk shrugs and walks back over to the group. “Well, from what I know of their worship, the Dragon's Daughter could be the Seer of Mind; she's generally associated with dragons. And there's a truly shithammering chance that the Outcast is the Knight of Blood. From how he acts, I'd call Heir of Breath for Skydancer.”

Jane nudges you, and you push her back. A minor shoving war ensues until it dawns on you that everyone is looking.

"Something you wanna share with the group, Wardens?” Dave asks. He holds his wrist up to show you, not incidentally causing a fresh chorus of excited nakking and glubbing around the room. You glare at Jane, who folds her arms.

“Well, I'm not showing them _mine_ ,” she says, and even though that is the most grossly unfair thing ever you can't argue because at least your mark isn't somewhere embarrassing to display in polite company.

You roll your sleeve back and hold up your left arm to show the two wave shapes of the Heir. The kobolds go wild and your heart pounds as Rose coolly examines the mark.

"It seems that your parents may well have been more cautious than mine, and wisely so,” she says eventually. “But this is particularly interesting since, if I recall correctly, you mentioned two siblings?”

You nod, your voice failing to respond properly. Rose glances at Jane, who shrugs.

"Maid of Life, and no you may not see it!” she says. Rose nods once in acceptance.

“Well, if we compare that to the Pantheon of Light, I believe that leaves the Witch of Space and the Page of Hope.” She smiles like the cat that not only got the cream, but was accidentally locked in the pantry overnight. “I don't suppose you would happen to know of anyone with such marks, perchance?”

You and your sister both nod, and you wonder how soon you can contrive to show everyone her Godmark after all.  


### Suggestions Used

 _MASK_ \- John: wipe that silly grin off your face, just because you diplomacized the enemy doesn't mean you can gloat.

 _WhiteTiger1221_ \- Roxy: Continue with the flirting.

 _WhiteTiger1221_ \- John: Ponder Dave's question about whether you like Roxy. Oh god, relationships how do they work.

 _LostSock_ \- John: Continue to be incredibly confused by all this sudden romantic attention and ask Jane if she thinks something is up. Suspect pranking being involved somehow.

 _LostSock_ – John: Enthuse about all the potential exciting and heroic adventures in store for your group and be overly optimistic in general [even when your scenarios are shot down by your friends for various reasons, frequently involving death]. And won't Jade and Jake be jealous? You should tell your less knowledgeable friends all about your estranged siblings while you're at it.

 _jadescribe_ – Jane: Get into the spirit of adventure

 _Unholygrunt_ – Glub Kobolds: celebrate the heroes arrival.

 _sionnachsSkulk_ \- Kobold War Leader: Nak nak nak nak, nak nak. Nak!

 _sionnachsSkulk_ \- Roxy: Understand what he's saying (naking?)

 _WhiteTiger1221_ \- John, Jane, Roxy: Some people need help, aid them in any way possible. Granted they did just attack you but you can ignore that for now, they are kind of desperate.

 _WhiteTiger1221_ \- Dave: Remain leery of all kobolds but agree to help them if your bro (John, not Dirk) wants to, he probably won't be able to do it himself, considering he only has about an eight of your badassitude.

 _Antartique_ \- Rose: You feel a sudden urge to name this little animal Viceroy and dress it in a terrible Dark Overlord costume...

 _LostSock_ \- John: Befriend a young Salamander kobold. Name her Casey. (No Rose, not "Viceroy Bubbles Von Salamancer". Casey.)

 _ttd0000_ \- Rose: Confide in someone your secret desire to own an octopus.

 _Ms Arano_ \- Dirk: Be on guard for anyone that might fit as a "skydancer." That conversation with Desta is a bit too close to the front of your mind to let go right now.

 _Asuka Kureru_ – Dave: read some Knight of Time scriptures. (pretty please? that'd be so funny. XD)

 _ttd0000_ \- Dave: Keep the beat.

 _LostSock_ \- Rose: Infer who the 'Nakkobolds' mean by the tick-tock man and the skydancer.

 _WhiteTiger1221_ \- Rose and Dirk: Speculate about this Gold Elf. Try and think of any knowledge relating to said elf, to the 'Time of Hunters' or to anything that could be related to the names 'Tick-tock man' and 'Skydancer'. Relay any information to the group.

 _Asuka Kureru_ – Rose: inquire about Jane and John's family situation, esp. re: siblings.

### System Notes

DAVE SPENDS 1 HERO POINT TO READ THE SCRIPTURE ON THE WALL. DAVE HAS 1 HERO POINT REMAINING.

 **Associating the deities mentioned in the kobold scripture with their better-known names = DC10/15**  
John, Jane, Roxy and Dave cannot make the appropriate skill check.  
Rose's knowledge religion check = 9  
Dirk's knowledge religion = 15  
DIRK IDENTIFIES ALL FOUR OF THE GODS MENTIONED. ROSE IDENTIFIES NONE. BARD BEATS ORACLE IN RELIGION-OFF THANKS TO DICE ROLLS. KEEPS THINGS INTERESTING, DOESN'T IT?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote epic poetry rap? Fuck, I dunno. For anyone who is interested, I wrote while listening repeatedly to this [Freestyle Rap Beat](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KZKeH5k4JMU).
> 
> Also, after the events of this chapter, the Porthaven Group all go to sleep so that I can move this story to the third day soon. I know, I know, just racing past a mile a minute here!
> 
> EDIT:  
> Moved the notes from the top of the chapter to the bottom.


	33. ==> Aradia: Become Friends With The Dwarves

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Hero point votes:**  
>  Terezi 1  
> John 2  
> Roxy 1  
> Dave 1

## ==> Aradia: Become Friends With The Dwarves

Despite a determined sulking fit, you refuse to accept Sollux's insistence that he doesn't want to go to the baths. Jade is raring to go and you're pretty excited yourself; you don't intend to let him wriggle out of it just so he can be a misery-guts, and you tell him exactly that. 

Sollux tries to claim that he's not being a misery-guts, he just doesn't give a shit about experiencing dwarven culture or bonding as a team or whatever the fuck this trip is supposed to be about. You point out that he's the one who's been complaining about mud and bugs and lack of civilisation for the last few weeks, and isn't dwarven culture a vast improvement over no culture at all? Sollux complains that the baths are segregated by gender, so he'll be stuck on his own with a bunch of virtual strangers and not hanging out with you. It sounds like this is closer to being his real problem with the idea and you secretly feel a little flattered before telling him to suck it up and try interacting with people for a change. 

There isn't much more he can say to that, especially not when Lars claps him on the back- nearly knocking him clean over in the process- and declares that you're all in for “a night of jolly fine revelry, just the way to start off an adventure!" Mysterious bags of things are assembled from about the house while you polish off the last of the cake- well, nobody else was eating it- and before long the whole lot of you troop out onto the streets of the Clanhold once again. You wave to the passers-by around you and try not to mind too terribly when they ignore you or stare. It's only the same sort of thing that you get in the less cosmopolitan parts of Porthaven and the other towns along the coast and from what your hosts have been saying the Quartzkin hold is under near-constant siege. They'd probably be suspicious of any outsiders. You hope so, at least. 

The Clanhold is impressive, though; as isolated as it is, most of the fine craftsmanship around you must have been done by the dwarves who live here. You feel decidedly shabby in your secondhand skirt- not that there's anything wrong with it, it's a good sturdy piece of clothing and you've kept it clean, but you chose to pay for gear before glamour and despite Kanaya's best efforts it's hardly elegant. You muse on the gold you've been offered to help find Jade's brother. You would have been willing to help her out anyway, but you can't deny it'll be nice to have something to show for it. It's not quite enough for university tuition, not with the books and the new clothes and the travel costs, but if you can pick up a few extra odds and ends along the way you might just be able to scrape an education at a less prestigious college. Actually, once you get accepted, you could always sell some of your more valuable adventuring gear... no, wait, that would be a terrible plan. Archaeology can be a dangerous field; lost temples full of mummies and insect swarms either don’t know or don’t care about the difference between raiders and researchers, and you might as well keep your kit for when you start going on real expeditions. 

Caught up in daydreams of what your life will be like when you’re a famous and respected archaeologist, discovering forgotten secrets and ancient lore that has not been seen by mortal eyes since the days of legend, you almost walk right past the bathhouse. You are brought up short by Kanaya grabbing your arm, and you give her a grateful smile as you bound up the steps after Jade and Bec. The bathhouse is carved from the rock like the other structures in the Clanhold, but rather than being free-standing its façade leads directly into one of the walls of the cavern; the wide stone doors are ajar, the frame covered with geometric carvings that give way to an immense and detailed fresco across the wall of stone. You actually take a step back from the door to study the image; in it, the door stands at the near point of a path, which winds away into the distance through a land scattered with what could be mechanised towers or could be sculptures built from an intricate arrays of metal. In the distance, at the top of the wall over the door, the path climbs an immense mountain from which rises a column of smoke. 

“The Plane of Rukbat,” says Thyri, walking up behind you alongside her daughter with a far softer tread than you would have expected from such a solid-looking person. “Home of the Smith, and where the first Dwarf was forged from fire and steel.” 

You glance over at her, and it’s not much of a stretch to imagine that she really is solid to the core. “I’ve heard something like that before,” you tell her. “Some of the dwarves back in Porthaven used to talk about the heart of the mountain.” 

Thyri nods towards the fresco. “Well, my dear, that’s the mountain they mean.” She smiles at you. “Did you know, they say the Smith melted down his Great Work a hundred and one times before he was satisfied with the result? Never accept less than the best, that’s the ticket!” 

Out the corner of your eye you catch sight of Sollux stomping past. You can't see if he's rolling his eyes, not with the faint glow of magic that obscures his irises, but you just know he did anyway. 

"You'll have to tell me more later!" you say to Thyri. 

"We'll have a fine old chin-wag, I'm sure," the woman agrees. You return her smile and hurry after Sollux, catching up with him just inside the doorway. 

"What?" he hisses, before you can even say a word. "Look, I'm doing what you want, okay? Can't you jutht leave me alone?" 

He looks so miserable that your reprimand dies on your lips. You reach out and put a hand on each of his shoulders, not really hugging him but at least giving him the idea of closeness and affection. 

"I'm not trying to pester you," you tell him softly, stepping aside and guiding him out of the way as the rest of your group flows through the door. "I just think it'll be good for you to spend some time having fun without me!" 

"Thure." 

The expression on his face is so sceptical that you can't help a giggle. "No, really," you say, trying to force your face to behave. "Sollux, you can do things without me. You have to. One day you won't have any choice." 

He wrenches his shoulders from your grip, steps back out of your reach. "I don't want to talk about that." 

Now it's your turn to roll your eyes. "You're being ridiculous. It's a perfectly natural consequence of who- of what- we are." 

"What, tho I'm thuppothed to act like you don't matter jutht becauthe I know you're going to... you're going to die firtht?" He's folded his arms, wrapped them as far around himself as they'll go, and you step after him and pull him into a proper hug. 

"No, but when I go I don't want to be worrying about you from the afterlife," you say. "I want to celebrate the time we have, and that means you have to really experience it too so we have things to talk about!" 

Sollux grips onto you, hands fisting in your tunic like a hatchling clinging to its mother. In a way you suppose it's almost true. "You want me to go ethperienth thwimming in a boiling pot with three hideouthly enthuthiathtic dwarveth?" he asks, utterly incredulous. 

"Yes," you say, and then both of you break out giggling because it is kind of funny. You cling to each other a few seconds longer before stepping apart, and for the first time you look around the lobby of the bathhouse. The inside is tiled with intricate mosaics, images of the same extraplanar world carven into the outside of the place that show the deep red and white glow of forge-fires against a dark blue sky. The rock of the mountain gave no limit on size and the lobby is vaulted like a temple, filled with the echo of voices and the sound of trickling water. There is a door to either side of a large fountain, where the water pours in an endless stream down a stepped tower of rough-hewn rocks studded with gems. 

You point to the right-hand door, where someone has carved a bearded face into the surface of the stone. "I think that's men," you say. "Go on." 

Sollux looks uncertain, so you give him a little shove and watch him totter towards the door. He glances back and you wave. He flips you off and turns to stride through the door as if he had never intended to do otherwise. You watch it swing closed behind him and wait a couple of seconds to be sure that he's not about to turn around and sneak out again, then you head for the door on the left where the face in the rock is beardless. 

The first thing that hits you as you step though is steam. Billows of white, wet heat surround you as you step across warm tile towards a wooden bench. Bec whuffs when you draw near and Jade turns towards you as you approach. 

"You talked Sollux into it, then?" she says. You laugh as you claim the spot on the bench next to her. 

"I know he'll have fun if he just lets himself," you say, sitting down to pull off your boots. It feels ridiculously good just to let your feet touch air after all the time you’ve spent on them lately. 

"So, what manner of experience are we letting ourselves in for?" Kanaya asks Bryn and Thyri. The three of them are on the bench opposite you; the two dwarves are down to undershifts already, but Kanaya is still fiddling with her armour fastenings. 

"Oh, it's just a nice relaxing soak," says Thyri, waving a hand dismissively. "Just the thing to deal with some of the old aches and pains, though, and if my memory serves you adventurer types always have a few of those to take care of!" 

"Pops does creak like an old chair," Bryn agreed. "But hey, it'll be fun. We'll pop into one of the smaller pools, settle down for a while, and..." she reached into her bag and pulled out a bottle. "Ta-dah!" 

"Bryn!" Thyri said, grabbing her daughter's hand. "Is that the '42 Gravelcrusher?" 

"I should bloody well hope so!" Bryn said, putting the bottle carefully down next to her discarded clothes. "That was the bottle I grabbed from the cellar, at least." 

Thyri chuckled and slapped her daughter on the back. "Ah, that's my girl," she said, reaching into her own bag and pulling out a tankard in each hand. "I only grabbed the '57, I'm afraid." 

"Oh, mother!" Bryn said. "At your age, too! You should jolly well know better." 

"Cheeky sprog," the older woman said, giving her daughter a smart slap. Kanaya makes a hesitant motion as if about to come between them; you cut her off with a shake of the head. It’s nice to see the pair of them together, a happy mother and daughter. Tieflings don't really have parents, not like other races, but you’ve seen and heard enough to know that most of your kind have a guardian- a creature similar to a familiar, to protect you while you’re small and helpless. You never found out exactly what did happen to your guardian, but none of your guesses are pretty. 

"Hey, can I get a hand over here?" Jade asks. She raises her arm to show the lacing down the side of her armour. "I think it's swollen in the damp," she says, blushing a little. "The knots won't come loose one-handed, and I can't reach with the other." 

"Allow me," says Kanaya, reaching out for the tangle of leather in question. You see her picking at the thong before you tug your own tunic up over your head, glad that you don’t wear anything so cumbersome and bulky as armour. The sort of stuff Kanaya and Jade have isn’t nearly as bad as plates of metal would have been- they can keep it on all day without it really getting in the way- but you know that even that much would interfere with the subtle gestures you use to cast spells, and Sollux would have the exact same problem if he tried. 

With your head buried in the folds of your shirt, the first you know that something has happened is Kanaya's quiet exclamation of; "Oh, my." 

You hastily wrestle the garment off over your horns- darn it, why do they have to be so big- and look over in time to see Kanaya staring quite fixedly at Jade's general chest area. The druid is grinning, utterly unselfconscious about being ogled. 

"Yeah, it's pretty neat, right?" she says, thrusting her torso forwards. Overcome with curiosity you rock upwards in your seat to get a better look at what Kanaya's seeing. 

You weren't expecting the spiralling symbol marking Jade's skin, in the centre of her upper chest where her collarbones meet her ribcage. The birthmark itself is made all the more astonishing by the fact that you've seen one just like it before. 

Silently, without ever looking away from Jade's mark, Kanaya lifts her own shirt and shows the identical symbol spiralling outwards from where an aasimar would have a navel. Jade's mouth falls open into a little round "o" and her eyes go wide. 

"Well, then," says Thyri quietly. "Isn't that a thing, now." 

"Jake said you had a mark too, but I can't say I was ever sure he wasn't just getting overexcited," Bryn says, wandering closer. "And, by gum, Kanaya, you've got a matching one! Fancy the odds!" 

"Indeed," Kanaya says, finally tearing her eyes away and meeting Jade's warm smile. For the first time you notice that the two of them have nearly identical eyes, luminous green in the way that any other type of elf could only dream of. 

Jade reaches out and takes Kanaya's hand. "All my siblings have a weird birthmark like this," she says. "Guardian Wolfsister always used to say that it was something magical and not for me to worry about, but John and Jane said in their letters that they were the marks of gods. Is that true?" 

Kanaya nodded. "Yes. I was taken to live with the Priestesses at a young age. I learned much about the divines from them, and even more since I came to the surface. Frankly, I am astonished that you could escape the knowledge this long." 

Jane shrugged. "I'm a Druid of the Guardian Circle," she said. "We don't really spend much time worrying about stuff like gods when there's work to do!" 

Kanaya looked over at Thyri, who shrugged. "So my boy is marked with the sign of an overworld god; he may be an elf, but he's Quartzkin, and I'm not letting him get in a tizzy about foreign religious nonsense." 

You try to imagine how that went, and fail. You’ve always wanted to know more about your mark, and even Sollux does research on it from time to time! "You must have been curious, surely?" 

Thyri narrows her lips into a thin line. "I don't see how it's any business of yours, young lady!" 

You just barely stop yourself from giggling at her expression and instead meet her gaze steadily through the steam. "You want to know how?" You turn and tug at the top of your skirt, lowering the waistband enough to show her the point where your lower back meets your buttocks. 

Everyone goes silent at the sight of the cogwheel on your skin. You let them get a good look at it before you grab a towel from the bench and wrap it around under your arms, divesting yourself of the skirt and your binder in the process. 

"So, I've had that as long as I can remember," you say, forcing yourself to be cheerful because as long as you can remember is really further than you want to. "Sollux, too; his is on the bottom of his foot, though, it's really ticklish." You turn to see that both dwarves and the druid are looking at you thoughtfully. Kanaya, who already knew about your mark, gives you a grateful smile. You wink at her. Like you'd leave a friend to face the music alone! 

Then, to your surprise, Thyri steps forwards and grabs you into a huge bear-hug. "Be blessed," she says, almost reverently. "By the Smith or by the gods whose marks you bear, I don't care a whit." 

Bryn puts an arm around Jade and hugs her close. "Bloody good show," she says, her voice choked with tears. 

"We're happy! Why are we happy?" you ask the woman currently hugging you. She takes a step back and beams at you. 

"Because I know you're going to find my son," she says, and suddenly it clicks into place. Of course. If Jade has the same mark as Kanaya and Jake is marked like she is then that means that both of them are like you are, and the likelihood of that happening by chance is more than just remote. For the first time in a very long while you entertain an abandoned childhood fantasy- whispered at night under a blanket with Sollux- of a great destiny, a path of legendary achievements laid before you, a life in which you not only follow history but create it. 

It's as dizzying as it ever was, but also as distant. You shake your head to clear it, reminding yourself that you're still only an adventurer with a job to do. 

"We'll do our best," you tell Thyri, and you mean it. If he has a mark too, then you want to meet this Jake guy. It should be interesting, at least! 

There is some more hugging and tearful declarations of faith and destiny before you can persuade Thyri and Bryn to finish getting changed, and as Kanaya makes sure she's ready you get hugged from behind by a towel-clad Jade. 

"Aradia!" she says, leaning over your shoulder to grin in your face. "I just thought! We should totally be sisters now! You and me and Kanaya!" 

A warm, bubbly feeling rises in your chest. You've never had sisters before- it's always just been you and Sollux. As ideas go, you kind of like it. You're so taken by the idea that you let your new sisters grab you, one to each hand, and drag you out of the changing room to the bathing chamber. 

Chamber is actually a misnomer, though; the careful, polished craftsmanship of the bathhouse ends at the door, giving way to a slick wooden pathway through a dark cave that seems to be naturally occurring. Glowing globes of soft light, all colours of the spectrum, cast strange shadows against the low and irregular ceiling. You follow Thyri past steps that lead down to pools that steam and bubble, lit from beneath by magical lights. Dwarves look up at your small group as you pass, quiet whispers following in your wake, and you wonder how many of the conversations are about you. 

Jade is clutching her towel up high, and you can't say you blame her. If your birthmark was where anyone could see it you would be doing the same. Thyri doesn't seem worried though, leading you past larger pools along branching paths on the walkway until you find a set of steps leading into a small, empty pool in an alcove. The roof of the cave descends as the steps do, and you can tell that from in the water you won't see or be seen by anyone else in the caves. 

"Right, here we are!" Bryn declares, racing ahead of her mother and shedding her towel at the top of the steps as she wades into the water. You decide to follow her example, running past Kanaya with a whoop; Bec chases you and the two of you don't climb down so much as tumble into the water with a splash. The water is deep enough to bob about in, but shallow enough that you can touch the bottom with your feet. Bec treads water after you as you paddle over to where Bryn is leaning against the far wall. 

You discover to your delight that there is a ledge of stone under the surface that acts as a seat; you settle yourself on it and immediately get a face full of wet wolf tail as Bec turns around to greet Jade. She's almost as fast as you to bound into the water, and settles herself on the far side of Thyri, who's making herself busy pouring a rich golden liquid out of the bottles and into the leather tankards that she brought from her home. 

"Here you go, my girl," she says, passing you one. "This'll give you a boost up the patootie!" 

"Patootie?" Bryn exclaims, clearly mortified. "Mother, do you have to be so bloody old about everything?" 

"Age before beauty," Thyri answers, promptly following her own advice by taking a swig from her own tankard before passing one to her daughter. 

You sniff the contents and are surprised by a sweet honey smell. "Mead?" 

"That's right, sweetie!" Thyri says, before looking over at Kanaya who is hovering uncertainly on the steps. "Come on in, then! No use standing on ceremony!" 

It's hard to tell with the shifting colours of the dim lights underneath you, but you could swear that the dark skin of Kanaya's cheeks just flushed a little redder. "I... I am unused to..." your companion stammers. "That is, it seems somewhat immodest, not that I meant to imply- oh, no." She buries her face in her hands, cinching her arms tight to hold her towel up. "I am so sorry," she says, her words muffled. 

"Oh, come on!" Thyri laughs. "We're all girls together here! Nothing we haven't all seen already." 

Kanaya makes a little whimpering noise and you take pity on her, pushing off across the pool to climb out next to her. 

"Here," you say, holding up a towel to block lines of sight for her entry to the water. "You can just get in like this- and it'll be fine then, see, the water's pretty opaque with how it's bubbling!" 

Still flushing, Kanaya raises her head and tentatively steps into the water. You wait for her to turn her head before you climb back in, sinking up to your neck and appreciating the soothing heat all around you as you bob back to your seat. Kanaya settles on the opposite side of the pool, curled up in a way that probably feels less exposed but really, really shows off her cleavage. Bryn passes her a tankard and Kanaya takes it wordlessly, burying her face in the vessel for a long swig. 

"So, this is nice!" Jade says brightly, sipping her own mead. "I've wanted to meet you guys for ages! This is so exciting, even if..." her voice trails off, and Thyri pats her gently on the back. 

"I know, sweetie," she says. 

"It just makes me so mad!" Jade scowls at her tankard. "I mean, I'm finally old enough to leave and go meet my siblings and those asshole drow have to go and kidnap my brother! Oh, I'm sorry- no offence meant to you, Kanaya!" 

Kanaya shakes her head. "I can hardly blame you for being angry about it," she says. "My people have hardly been trying to promote good relations with other civilisations." She sighs and studies her mead. "I have heard that in other lands things are different, but those were only whispered rumours. To say or indeed to hear more would have been dangerous, which I suspect is indicative of the same problem you are experiencing. That is, my former kinsfolk are indeed assholes, and one does not have to be an outsider to notice such." 

Jade's face falls. "Wow, that must have been awful," she says, reaching over to pat Kanaya's hand sympathetically. 

The drow woman shakes her head. "Not always," she says with a fond smile. "I was far from ill done by, of course, but I think that sometimes I spend far too much time apologising for my people and their excesses." She leans her head back against the wall and sighs wistfully. "I have many pleasant memories of my life in Golgesi and of the times I spent with my friends and sisters there. Not that I don't care for you and Sollux, too, Aradia," she adds quickly. "It is simply that, well, the surface world has little to compare to the work of the artisans and the alchemists of my homeland." She looks around the cave and her smile returns. "Actually, I believe that I feel more at home here than I have anywhere in a long while. It may not reflect the tastes of my people, but the care and the craft that surrounds us is unmistakeable." 

"Then I'll take that as the compliment it is," Thyri says, topping up her tankard. "And here's to a successful mission on the morrow!" 

You drink to that, then settle yourself in the water. You can practically feel the weeks spent on the long road washing out of you. "So, why is it that dwarves worship one of the Lunar Lords when you live underground? Isn't that a bit weird?" 

Bryn and Thyri both burst out laughing at that. "Well, who else are we going to bloody well worship?" Bryn asks, wiping her eyes with a wet hand. "He's the one who made us!" 

"The moons are just manifestations, gateways to the lunar planes from the prime material," Thyri adds. "Rukbat itself isn't in the sky any more than your celestial gods are, young lady, and we are far from the only race to owe our allegiance to one of the Lunar Lords." 

"What about you, Aradia?" Jade asks. "I mean, I don't know much about tieflings." 

"Neither do I," you admit. "According to the stories I've heard, most of my people live in the City of Shadows, but nobody even knows where that is! And I know people agree we're all hatched in the Haunted Isles, but I don't remember that, and it's not as if anyone can get close enough to check." 

"How do you even know you're hatched?" Jade asks. In answer you pull yourself up out of the water, ignoring the way Kanaya blushes and hides her eyes, and point to the smooth skin on your stomach. 

"No belly-button, see!" you say triumphantly. "And Sollux doesn't have one either, so we can't be born like aasimar!" You sink back down, victorious. 

"Now, hold up here," says Bryn, frowning. "As I understood it, half-elves were just a jolly funny sort of elf, so how does his lack of navel have anything to do with tieflings?" 

You don't really know much about hereditary, so you look over at Kanaya, who has lowered her hands from her face. "Sollux is not a typical half-elf," she says, the picture of restraint once more. "As you have observed, his heritage would make him an elf with tiefling characteristics, but that should not extend to yellow blood. And since I have never heard of a tiefling with white hair, I can only conclude that it comes from an elven bloodline which should not be expressing." 

"So if he's not a half-elf, what is he?" Jade asks. 

Kanaya frowns. "In truth, I have heard of similar... blends... before, of elves and other creatures," she says, slow and reluctant. "But rarely to good purpose, and never by accident. Without finding the individual responsible for his, for lack of a better word, creation, I doubt we will truly be able to answer that question. Half-elf is a sufficient descriptor, I think, and more literally accurate than the purpose to which it is usually turned." 

A thoughtful silence descends over the group. You finish off your mead and are just reaching for a refill when you hear a distant booming sound, like thunder echoing through the rock. A few pebbles drop from overhead as the cavern shakes and you pause, waiting. A few moments later there is a loud crashing sound from the direction of the main bathhouse lobby. 

Kanaya is staring fixedly at the bottle of mead in your hand. “Madame Quartzkin,” she says, a slight wobble of alarm in her voice. “Is it plausible to suggest that your husband and sons might have followed the example of you and your daughter by bringing beverages to the baths?” 

Thyri nods, frowning in puzzlement. “Well, yes, it’s a fairly common thing to do…”

_Boys, Sollux. Drink, Mead._

You’re up and moving before you’ve even finished processing the thought, grabbing a towel on the way past and wrapping it around yourself as you run. If any of the dwarves in the pools are surprised by a mostly-naked tiefling dashing past them, you don’t notice it; your attention is focused firmly on getting to the source of those noises as fast as you can. People scatter as you crash through into the changing rooms, bare feet slapping against the slippery tiles. You keep going, ignoring the folded pile of clothes you left behind and heading straight through into the lobby. 

Gunnar, Lars and Vidar are just emerging from the men’s changing rooms and they pause in shock at the cracked mosaics and shattered fountain. 

“What did he say?” you yell, skidding to a halt a few yards from the door out. Vidar, dressed in a towel much as you are, waves a hand at the open door. 

“We were only having a sodding drinking contest!” he says, his greyish dwarven face paler than you’ve seen it before. “How was I meant to know he’d go off on one? He’s fucking nuts!” 

You shake your head and turn to Gunnar, who shrugs. “Something about honey and magic, my dear. Can’t say he was all too coherent.” 

“Did you mention a meadery?” you ask, hopping from foot to foot as the rest of your group emerge from the ladies’ changing rooms. Kanaya, you notice, has found the time to grab her cloak and boots, although she’s not wearing them yet. “Anything he could get to?” 

“I said that Hilda, a few doors down from us, makes honey,” Lars says. He looks almost frightened. “But that was long before he…”

You don’t hear the rest, already running out onto the street. You can feel grit and dust from the road sticking to the soles of your feet but you keep moving, memory guiding you back the way you came. Sollux has never handled alcohol well, but there’s never been anything quite like mead for making him completely flip his shit. 

You hear a few gasps as you run past but ignore them; time later to worry about causing a scene or scandalising the locals. You’re too busy hoping Sollux hasn’t done anything that requires bail money or a breakout attempt because you were just getting used to the idea of maybe being respectable for once. 

When you follow the spiral of streets out to the road where Jade’s family live, you can see immediately where Sollux has gone. Wooden splinters from the shattered fence lie smouldering in the road, and you slow down as you step over them into the covered alcove beyond. You’re not sure whether you’re more keen to avoid jagged shards of wood in your feet, or to avoid surprising Sollux, but either way speed isn’t on your side. 

The alcove leads down into a small grotto, a cave green with moss and sparkling with trickles of water. A low hum fills the air and as you walk into the warm, magical sunlight you see an arc of beehives up ahead, holding court like a small tribunal. Sollux is lying on the ground just in front of them, stark naked, head pillowed on his hands as he watches a cloud of dancing bees. 

Ignoring the insects, you walk over and sit on the moss beside him. His head rolls sideways and he smiles goofily at you. 

“Hey,” he says. 

“What are you doing?” you ask him. Sollux raises a hand and waves it lazily through the bees, which move around it and the currents it makes in the air. He giggles. You wait a good half a minute before it becomes obvious that he’s forgotten you’re there at all. 

“Sollux!” you snap, and instantly regret it when he tenses up. Ignoring his state of slightly damp undress, you reach out and pull him into a soggy hug. He’s almost as limp and droopy as your towel dress, which you’re willing to admit isn’t much more decent than he is right now. 

“Made friendth with the dwarveth,” he mutters after a moment. “’m the betht at… drinkin’.” 

You snort. “I don’t believe that for a minute.”

“Good, ‘coth i’th not true.” Sollux sounds far too pleased about that; he lets go of your neck and slithers down, landing in your lap and beaming up at you. “I like beeth.” 

“I know,” you say.

“I like you more.”

“I know that, too.”

He closes his eyes and snuggles closer while you pet his hair. It’s still wet from the baths, the water soaking into your towel, and it’s a good thing that it’s warm in this grotto because otherwise you’d both be freezing already. You think back to your full-tilt rush across the Clanhold and breathe a small sigh of relief when you don’t remember any major damage. It’s always better when Drunk Sollux doesn’t try casting spells. 

“’Radia?” 

You look down at him, curled up with his cheek on your knee, the red and blue slivers of his barely-open eyes looking up at you as he smiles. He looks young like this; closer to the age he really is than the weight of imaginary years and premature trials that he usually carries. 

“Yes, Sollux?” 

“You’re not drethed,” he snickers. You smile back and pull your legs out from under him, dropping his head onto the mossy stone of the grotto floor. 

“Neither are you,” you point out, lying down so that your face is next to his. He tries and fails to blow a raspberry with his tongue, then gives up and settles against your shoulder. 

“’Radia?” 

“Yes, Sollux?” 

“I really like dwarveth.” 

“Me too.” 

The two of you wait on the moss, dripping water and watching bees, until Kanaya comes to find you both and bring you to a warm, cosy bed.

### Suggestions Used

 _MASK_ \- kanaya/aradia/jade/sollux: dwarven hotspring episode!

 _WhiteTiger1221_ \- Jade: Be curious about these 'baths'.

 _WhiteTiger1221_ \- Sollux: Steadfastly refuse to go to the baths, you don't know what the Dwarves mean and you don't like it. Be convinced to go anyway.

 _Ms Arano_ \- Aradia: Try to get Sollux to play nicely with others.

 _RandomGal_ \- Aradia: Think longingly of what you might spend your gold on, then focus. You've gotta earn it first!

 _LostSock_ \- Jade/Kanaya/Sollux/Aradia: Have your own little godmark-revealing party.

 _Antartique_ \- Aradia: Be fascinated with dwarf culture, you just can't help getting distracted!

 _WhiteTiger1221_ \- Aradia: Continue to be intrigued by Dwarven history.

 _Antartique_ \- Kanaya: Remember the good and bad times in Golgesi...

 _MASK_ – aradia: contemplate your navel.

 _MASK_ \- aradia: actually, contemplate sollux's navel instead.

 _WhiteTiger1221_ \- Aradia: Become friends with the dwarves.

 _WhiteTiger1221_ \- Sollux: Against your will, somehow become friends with the dwarves. They're even being too hospitable for you to get angry at, jerks.

 _Asuka Kureru_ – Sollux: Fondly regard beehive.

 _Ephemeral_Dreamer_ – Sollux: Get drunk

 _LostSock_ \- Sollux: Have an admittedly calming and maybe even relaxing moment completely and utterly ruined.

 _Ephemeral_Dreamer_ – Aradia: Be exasperated

 _RandomGal_ \- Jade: Alternate between being worried about Jake and pissed off at who stole him.

 _Ephemeral_Dreamer_ – Jade: Be happy (but also very worried)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sollux and Aradia, gettin' drunk and actin' crazy. Really they're a shoo-in for university.
> 
> Next chapter is... kind of a mountain of work, to be honest. All signs point to awesome though. :)
> 
> EDIT:  
> Moved the notes from the top of the chapter to the bottom.


	34. ==> Jake: Relay What It Was You Programmed The Golem To Do...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Hero point votes:**  
>  Terezi 1  
> John 2  
> Roxy 1  
> Dave 1

## ==> Jake: Relay What It Was You Programmed The Golem To Do...

It causes quite the kerfuffle when you and Karkat burst into the small room where Gamzee is being dressed for his wedding. You both freeze up in the doorway as heads turn to look at the pair of you, dishevelled and out of breath, and it occurs to you that somewhere in the middle of this madcap rush it slipped your mind that you are an utterly abominable liar. Then Gamzee, standing in the centre of a circle of attendants and looking considerably more dapper than last you saw him, beams at you both.

"Aw, shit, you motherfuckers been all off up and having some motherfucking fun without me?" he asks in a dreamy voice that you would find a mite more convincing if you didn't know for a fact that the whole thing is complete hogswash. Karkat flushes dusty red and you can feel your own cheeks burn; there is a small chorus of tittering from around the room and more than a few people are finding excuses to duck their heads or raise their hands to hide their faces.

One person doesn't seem particularly impressed, though; Mohan stares at the pair of you, and from the set of his mouth you suspect he would rather like to be frowning. You suppose that in his, uh, that is _one of_ his lines of work wrinkles are quite the unseemly disadvantage.

"I am glad to see that your duties allow you to join us after all," he says, and the scorn is almost palpable. "As you can see, my Lord Kutsanmis is prepared, but I am certain your presence is welcome to him."

More snickering from around the room. Karkat clenches his hands into fists and your face burns hotter as you resist the urge to do likewise. Smith's forge, do these people really think that you... and him... and Gamzee...

Yes, you realise. They really, really do. And seeing the crowd of people around Gamzee- the way that they're holding themselves a step back, wary of him but still laughing at the two slaves they see as his favourites- you can tell he's a joke to them, albeit a somewhat dangerous one. Of course, if Gamzee's a joke then that makes you and Karkat the punchline, your status tied to his like a diver to an anvil. It's hardly a comforting thought.

You watch as Karkat strides forward towards Gamzee, holding his head just a smidgeon too high for the confidence to be genuine. You stop breathing for a moment as he walks past Mohan, and if looks could kill then they would both be dead, but Karkat doesn't break stride until he's close enough to wrap his arms around Gamzee's neck. The attendants seem to find this even more funny, especially when Gamzee pulls Karkat onto his lap and rests their foreheads together. You hang back awkwardly in the doorway, feeling slightly ill and making a real effort not to pat the weight of your pistol, concealed under your tunic, for comfort. You're not sure exactly when you got sick and tired of this particular adventure, but you're more than ready to pack it all in and get on your jolly old way. Especially if that way involves expressing your general displeasure with your hosts through gunfire.

It's not hard to spot the moment when Karkat passes Gamzee a small cube of sugared resin; you're fairly sure other eyes picked up on that just like you did, but nobody comments. Nobody cares, just like they don't care when Karkat whispers in Gamzee's ear and the noble-born drow reluctantly slips the drug into a fold in his robes. They're extravagant and showy and despite the armour you don't think you've ever seen a less practical outfit in your life.

Mohan says something in the fluid drow tongue and bows deeply to Gamzee. You have no idea what the twisty bugger said, but his tone sounds like an order and sure enough Gamzee obeys. Karkat slips off him as he rises and starts towards you and the door; you step aside and fall into step beside Karkat, head bowed, a pace behind Gamzee. It is really far too easy to pick this bloody nonsense up.

As you process to the chapel you find yourself swatting at a few sets of wandering hands- fingers that brush your buttocks, or your outer thigh; small touches on your shoulder accompanied by looks that you really are not comfortable at all with receiving. You have the distinct and unpleasant impression that if you were not all currently occupied with something more important you would be being passed around the servants like a bottle of mead at a feast. You aren't sure quite who outranks you yet, but you're getting the impression _everyone but Karkat_ is a fair assessment of your place in the pecking order.

Another anonymous hand grabs a handful of your rear and you decide that enough is quite enough. Roaring a dwarven oath, you clench your fist and lunge for the nearest of your molesters, a thin woman with pinched lips who flinches back in the face of your attack. Some lingering chivalrous instinct holds your blow from landing and in that instant someone grabs your arm and yanks you back away from your target. You struggle for a moment before you realise that it's Gamzee, and that your ill-advised bout of fisticuffs is risking the entire escape plan. He pulls you in closer and you let him, ignoring the disapproving looks as the pair of you break whatever nonsense unspoken protocol you were all working to before.

“Chill, bro,” he whispers to you, his breath tickling your ear. One of his arms slips around your waist and his hand ends up resting on your hip. You give him your firmest glare.

“Just because you saved me from the godsdamned vultures, don’t go getting any ideas,” you whisper back. A sly smile sneaks across Gamzee’s face and your heart sinks.

“Now how am I all supposed to be not getting no motherfucking ideas when I got some fine-ass motherfucker like what you’re all up and being all up in arms reach?” he murmurs. Your stomach lurches as he punctuates his words by sliding his hand across your hipbone and nuzzling your ear.

Gritting your teeth, you just barely manage to refrain from shoving him bodily off you. “If you ever touch me again once we get out of here, I will blow your fucking block clean off, buster.”

He chuckles in your ear and something about the sound sets you even more on edge than you were to start with. “That a motherfucking promise?”

You are saved from having to respond to his codswallop by your arrival at the chapel, the door guards pushing the doors open for you. You step away from Gamzee as you walk in and the attendants peel aside, joining the throng of witnesses lining the edges of the room. You and Karkat follow Gamzee up to the altar, Mohan a few steps behind you and glaring like he expects you to bollocks things up.

He has _no idea_. You can’t help or hide the grin that flashes across your face at the thought. Fortunately, nobody seems to note what you’re doing- most likely because none of these people are paying you any attention. The room looks different to how it did earlier, lined with silent servants and slaves and guards, the rows of benches populated by drow in clothes almost as fancy as Gamzee’s. You see a couple of bored-looking younger ones who look a little like him, whispering to each other and laughing behind their hands. You hadn’t even realised Gamzee had siblings, and you feel momentarily guilty for what you’re about to do. You don’t want them to get hurt- but you're even more keen on the idea of escaping.

Waiting by the altar next to the priestess robed and veiled in green is a drow woman who stands tall and proud, immaculately groomed in purple silk, scrutinising you all as you approach. You don’t need to see the way Gamzee shrinks away from her to recognise Lady Kutsanmis, and you feel a chill go down your spine when her eyes sweep over and past you. She waits for her son to reach the altar then gives him a cold, appraising look.

“Satisfactory,” she declares after a moment. You can see the tension go out of Gamzee’s shoulders, and next to you Karkat lets out a small relieved puff. You really aren’t sure what to make of that so you stand and wait.

And wait. And wait.

The guests and witnesses on the benches are starting to get fidgety, and the priestess leans across the altar to whisper something to the Lady Kutsanmis. The noblewoman listens for a moment before shooting a death glare at her son, then turns to the rest of the room. She says something in the drow tongue and strides out, three of the guards peeling away from the walls to follow in her wake. The whole room watches her go then starts whispering. Gamzee cranes his neck watching until she’s gone then turns to you and Karkat.

“What you all up and been motherfucking doing?” he whispered. “Not that I’m all up and getting my complain on about what how I ain’t all getting married and shit right now, but I kinda want to know what sort of miracles we’re all expecting up in here.”

You and Karkat share a look. “Well, you’re the one who started the fire,” you whisper. You'll admit that you're maybe trying to set the cat amongst the pigeons a little, but all this palaver has left you in something of a fickle mood.

“Don’t fucking give me that shit,” he hisses back. “You and Terezi were the ones messing with that hideous contraption. I don’t even know what the fuck you were hoping to achieve, other than increasing the net amount of gut-twisting horror available to the world at large.”

“There was a jolly good reason for that!”

“Oh, well then, as long as you had a good fucking reason!” Karkat’s voice is a tight whisper, but the volume of his words is slowly rising and you start frantically trying to shush him while not giggling yourself. In a very manly way, of course. “Don’t you even think about starting that beetleshit with me, sunwalker, I am not going to shush because you and the giggling lunatic- the one who isn’t here right now, by the way- managed to rub two thoughts together and produce an idea!”

Gamzee’s hand falls onto his shoulder and Karkat rounds on the other drow. “What? What do you fucking want? If you’re planning pester me for whatever fanciful piece of alchemical waste you’ve decided is going to solve all your problems this time you can just save it because-”

There is a loud thump from the corridor outside, and the room falls silent. Everyone turns to look at the door, and out of the corner of your eye you see Gamzee take advantage of the moment to retrieve the Pesh resin from his robes and stick it in his mouth.

“Jake?”

You swallow. “Yes, Karkat?”

“What the _fuck_ did you do to that golem?”

You grin nervously and reach for the potion bottle lurking in your belt pouch. “Aha. Yes. About that...”

It is at that moment that the door explodes inwards in a shower of sparks.

“COWER BEFORE THE AVENGER OF JUSTICE, WRONGDOERS!” Terezi yells from the back of the golem, following it with a mad cackle that is, you will admit, jolly inspiring right now. You take advantage of the frozen moment as everyone stares to pull out the potion of Remove Curse and your pistol; next to you Karkat does the same. The pair of you down your potions in almost the same moment; you feel magic course through you like a warm, dry wind and metal clatters as your collar drops off onto the floor.

One of the guards opens her mouth, presumably to start shouting orders. Gamzee moves before you can even begin to react and she staggers back clutching a bloody face; you see the heavy chalice from the altar clutched in Gamzee’s hand, dripping red. The guests start to scream and panic as the golem moves and Terezi drops down from its back, dropping an armful of packs and bags to draw a sword from her cane. She jabs wildly at a guard who is trying to pull her rapier from its sheath.

The golem takes another step, and the room erupts into loud, roiling chaos. Half the guards charge the monster and the other half try to flee with the panicked servants and guests, the deadly crush at the chapel door thinning as the magical monster swats people aside. Next to you metal glints as Karkat lashes out at a guard, who falls to the ground with a gaping wound in her neck. You don’t have time to gawp as another guard bumps into you and raises her sword.

Stumbling back for range you raise your pistol and fire a shot; the alchemical cartridge works perfectly and with an ear-splitting crack and a puff of sulphurous smoke you punch a hole in her armour. She grunts and reels for a moment before lunging at you; you dodge the clumsy thrust but the backs of your legs hit the altar. The guard smirks at you as you fumble to reload your weapon.

A slim, silvery blade bursts out of her upper torso; she stares at it in shock for a moment, and crumples to the floor as it retracts to reveal a bloodstained Terezi standing behind her, grinning. You grin right back at her, because damned if that wasn't a hell of a save.

“If you’re done gawping!” yells Karkat, grabbing one of the dropped packs and running for the concealed slave’s entrance. You follow him, nabbing as you go a familiar-looking pack and the leather satchel you remember him grabbing in the lab earlier. You run past Gamzee, who jumps up from the still body of another guard to keep pace beside you. The chalice in his hand is even bloodier now and it strikes you with a sudden and hysterical clarity that you may have caused a scrape with your pistol but he just maimed one person and killed another with a sodding cup.

The four of you hit the corridors at full pelt, the slave tunnels letting you avoid the crowds at the chapel door. Karkat is out in front leading the way, Terezi bringing up the rear, and you focus on trying to get your pack on while you run, the satchel slapping against your leg with each step. You almost crash into Karkat when he skids to a halt; you open your mouth to ask what happened and he slams a hand over it, glaring at you before nodding around the corner. Peering around the corner, you see a group of Kutsanmis guards hovering between you and the stairs down.

“Alright folks, what's the plan looking like now?” you whisper. Terezi leans out, then pats your shoulder and grins.

“Relax, Mister Minty Fresh, I got this. You and Karkles just stay low and get past while they’re distracted.”

“Why, what-“ you begin, but she’s already standing and grabbing Gamzee’s shoulder.

“You’re with me,” she says to him, smirking as he hisses and bats her hand away. The two of them jog around the corner and you hear the challenge as the guards intercept them.

“Come on,” whispers Karkat, and the pair of you tiptoe forwards. The guards seem to be deep in conversation with Terezi, Gamzee making the occasional interjection as she holds his arm, but you still hold your breath as Karkat skirts the edge of the corner and darts down the stairs. You start to follow, but just then the guards start moving, heading straight for you. You barely dive back in time, flattening yourself against the wall as they pass less than a foot away, and you wait a few heartbeats to dart past behind them and join the others at the bottom of the stairs.

“About time,” Karkat grumbles.

You glare back at him. “What did you say to them, anyway?” you ask Terezi.

“I told them the wedding was a trap and Yetenekli has turned on them.” She snickers. “Between that, the clues I’ve left for Yetenekli, and the golem at the chapel, it’ll take a while to sort this mess out- if they ever do.”

“This is just fucking great,” Karkat says as Terezi laughs. “Congratulations on flicking a spark onto dry tinder, I'm sure we will all survive the impending towering inferno intact, can we please continue getting the fuck out of here now?”

Terezi’s laugh echoes off the walls as she starts off down the corridor, but before she can get very far you grab her.

“Not that way!” you say, and all three of them stare at you. You shrug, trying to play it cool. “I did spend all day parading back and forth around this part of the complex. It would be bloody embarrassing if I didn’t know the quickest way out by now!” You let go of Terezi and move off down one of the other corridors, narrower and with worse light. “This one will get us out faster.”

Karkat looks at you dubiously. “Are you sure? Because last I checked you couldn’t see for shit in the dark.”

You grin. “Oh, come on, old chap. I grew up in a dwarf hold- you think I can’t handle a few shadows?”

Karkat and Terezi share a Look, then he throws his hands in the air. “Ugh, fine!” he says, stomping past you. “Let’s all take directions from the fucking sunwalker and get lost in the bowels of this place. They can dig our bones out of the wine cellars in a hundred years for all I care, let’s just keep moving before we get caught!”

You dart past him to take the lead and keep a brisk pace as you follow the twists and turns of the corridors. Once or twice you stumble, but you don’t miss any turnings, and according to the map you're holding in your head- like all practical adventurers should do- you're nearing the courtyard when you hear a rumbling, crackling sound and turn a corner into a wall of heat. A stream of obscenity comes from Karkat as he joins you, and on your other side Gamzee looks wonderingly at the crackling wall of flames and mutters something about miracles.

“Can we go round it?” Terezi asks. You scratch your head.

“It’s a bit of a detour,” you admit. “Might take a bit. Unless...”

There’s a spot where the roof has caved in and two pieces of fallen debris form a sort of window through the fire. You couldn’t climb through it without collapsing the whole thing, but you aren’t thinking of climbing. True heroes don’t hesitate, and neither do you. Ignoring Karkat’s yell behind you, you charge forwards and dive for the hole. For a moment you think you aren’t going to make it- and then you land with a crash on the other side, rolling to your feet and laughing as you discover that you’re alive after all.

“Not a problem in the slightest!” you yell back through the collapsing wall of flaming debris. You hear a string of loud cursing from Karkat and Terezi howling with laughter, before a rapid patter of running footsteps approaches. You’re already a fair way back from the blockage but you retreat further as a shape in teal armour bursts through the flames and lands, streaked in ash, on the other side. Terezi grins at you as she strolls up and you clap her on the back like the stalwart comrade she's proving to be. A few seconds later there is a curse and then Gamzee follows by the same route as Terezi, landing far less gracefully on his face. He scrambles to his feet and the three of you stare at the fire for a few seconds, waiting.

“Bro? You all up and motherfucking getting to come on through?” Gamzee calls, when it becomes apparent that Karkat isn't getting his act on alone.

“FUCK YOU!” yells Karkat from the other side. “YOU’RE ALL COMPLETELY BUGFUCK INSANE! I AM STAYING RIGHT HERE AND NOT DIVING THROUGH A GODSDAMNED INFERNO BECAUSE I AM NOT A SUICIDAL LUNATIC!”

Terezi laughs, which you think is a little harsh when he's expressing a fairly reasonable opinion- albeit at a bad time. “Why, Karkles, I wouldn’t have pegged you as a coward!”

“I’M NOT A COWARD, I’M RISK AVERSE! THERE’S A DIFFERENCE, NOT THAT I’D EXPECT YOU TO KNOW IT, YOU GIGGLING MANIAC!”

“Maybe you should have thought of that before you started the fire!” Terezi yells. “But if you want to be the only one left behind when the Matriarchs and the Temple come looking for answers, that’s no problem at all!”

“FUCK!” The sound of running feet fills the air and you jump back as Karkat dives through the same hole you used, landing in a crumpled heap at your feet and skidding across the floor.

“Shitshitshit!” he yells, thrashing around in a panic. “I’m on fire I’m on fire _fuck!”_

Gamzee grabs him and hauls him to his feet. “You’re fine, bro,” he says. Karkat looks at him in a sort of angry daze, then down at himself, then back up at Gamzee.

“Oh,” he says, deflating. This time you join Terezi in giggling, because he is being a real doofus.

“HEY! YOU THERE!”

You whirl at the shout to see an officious-looking woman bearing down on you, a group of four others in her wake; based on her clothes she’s a servant, but from the way she stalks up you aren’t so certain she knows that.

“What are you doing here?” she snaps. “This corridor is off-limits until the fire has been cleared! How dare you disobey-”

You are bumped aside as Gamzee pushes past you, his free hand bunched into a fist at his side while the other raises the bloody chalice and points it at the woman.

“You all up and knowing who I am?” he says in a low growl. She nods, her face turning a slightly paler grey.

“Y-yes, my lord,” she stammers. Terezi starts laughing again, but there’s an edge of low menace to it as she taps the hilt of her swordcane, and you can see the servants edge back a step as she steps forward.

“THEN GET YOUR ASS THE FUCK OUT OF MY MOTHERFUCKING WAY!” Gamzee screams, and that does it. The officious woman turns and flees, her minions on her heels. Gamzee’s face slumps into a lopsided smile and Karkat grabs his hand, dragging him with the rest of you down the corridor and out of a small side door into the main courtyard. You follow a little shakily, glad that you've not had occasion to see that fury turned on you. Something in your head is refusing to imagine what Gamzee would be like in a real temper, but you're quite certain it would be a sight to behold.

Ahead of you is chaos; grooms and wranglers are fighting to get their carriages out first as frantic guests pour out of the building, and although you don't imagine there can be more than a dozen at most they're easily taking up enough room for a hundred. You dodge out the way of a screeching, flailing giant beetle and set your sights on the gate. Drow yell after you as you shove them aside and there are crashes and shattering sounds as you knock crates out of your path, but you'll be damned if you're trying to find a clear route through this mess. You focus on getting from A to B as fast and as straight as you can, and somehow you emerge unharmed on the other side of the courtyard moments before Gamzee.

Karkat appears a few seconds later, sporting a torn sleeve and dust on his knees. He looks rather down and you're about to try and buck him up with a bit of joshing when Terezi darts out from under the legs of a rearing draft beetle and charges past you all towards the gatehouse. You look at Karkat, shrug, and run after her.

"MOVE IN THE NAME OF THE LAW!" she hollers as she approaches, and you see the four guards at the gate look round in surprise. Gamzee howls wildly as he chases after her and you follow in their wake, trying to look as threatening as you can. For a brief moment as you run past the guards you think you feel something warm and bright swelling inside you, and you give one of them a cocky wink and salute as you pass. He looks utterly stunned and a little afraid so you keep up the pace, putting distance between you and them before they recover their wits and come after you.

"Up here!" yells Karkat, hardly breaking stride as he swerves into an alley and jumps from the pavement to a barrel to a low roof. You follow him up to the higher plane, surprising yourself with your own agility, and turn to see the crowds on the street starting to take notice of the bloodstained runaway noble in their midst. Terezi waves her cane threateningly, but that only serves to draw more attention, so the pair of them retreat after you and Karkat to clamber up the barrel before they attain too many curious stares. Gamzee manages splendidly by himself but Terezi struggles with her armour; you and Karkat reach down to offer her a gentlemanly hand up. Half hauled, half scrambling she joins you, then the four of you are running along the rooftops away from the scene of the crime.

The rooftops of Golgesi are, you soon find, generally flat and quite often used as a sort of extra room. Any number of angry citizens shout and wave fists at you as you crash through their laundry or their flowerpots, but you follow Karkat as he leads you unerringly along a road of short jumps and precarious plank bridges to a place where the buildings are shabbier and the footing more uneven. The edge of the last roof ends in a tumbledown ruin, the broken stone marking the end of the increasingly narrow and rough road that has followed you through the city. Beyond you can see a second city, this one of tumbledown shacks and makeshift tents thrown together from any old rubbish that would stand on the uneven floor of the natural cavern.

“What the blue blazes is this place?” you ask, taking a step towards it as Karkat helps Terezi down.

Someone behind you snickers, and you turn to see a young woman who can’t be much more than your own age leaning against the ruined building. A knife flickers between her fingers as she juggles it one-handed. “Welcome to the Shanties, shithead.” She grabs the hilt of her blade and points it towards you. “Now cough up the entry fee, or I’ll cut you a new smile.”

From out of the gaping doorway behind her emerge a half-dozen others, boys and girls who are all your age or younger and armed with a variety of blades and heavy blunt objects that would be alarming to a less sporting individual than yourself. All of them look thin, ragged, and predatory, and something in you snaps. You have had quite enough of this shit today.

“Like hell am I doing a bloody thing!” you reply, fingering your pistol. “You want to try me, you give it a go! I’m more than ready for a scuffle with the likes of you!”

The head ruffian glares. “Yeah? You think we won’t?”

“Shit, sister,” says Gamzee, grabbing a plank of wood from the ground and giving it an experimental swing. “We ain’t all up to thinking you won’t do nothing.”

“We just know you’re going to lose,” Terezi adds, shifting her grip on her swordcane. Karkat says nothing, but you see the smirk he gives the muggers as he pretends to examine his sickle. The leader looks at the four of you again, then snorts.

“Yeah, like you even fucking have anything anyway,” she says, taking a step back. “Fuck this shit.”

You don’t think you’ve ever seen a group of people retreat so fast. Within seconds they've all vanished into the ruined house or the shadows of the nearby alleys.

“Home sweet home,” Karkat grumbles, sheathing his weapons. “Come one, let’s get out of sight before we paint an even bigger _come look over here_ sign.”

He turns and heads towards the forest of shacks, and you quickly find that it’s a challenge to keep up with him. Half of the structures are leaning on each other for support and the other half are so flimsy and close together that the difference between two shacks and the alley between them is almost entirely a matter of debate and opinion. The lighting is virtually nonexistent, leaving you to stumble along mostly blind; you can see shapes moving in the shadows, feel eyes watching you from bundles of rags, and you warily shift your grip on the hilt of your pistol.

"Over there," Terezi says, pointing to a narrow gap between two shacks, half-shaded by the sheet of canvas stretching from the one on the left. Karkat nods and heads towards it. Your new neighbour, sitting outside the shack on the right, gives the four of you a brief glance as you approach then looks away when you walk past. You watch him for a moment curiously before Karkat's fingers dig sharply into your arm.

"Don't stare, idiot," he hisses, yanking you into the pitch-black gap. You stumble, unable to see, and collide with someone; they lurch and there is a loud clatter as you all end up in a tangle on the ground. Some particularly embarrassing wriggling occurs as you try to disentangle yourself, and then someone grabs the leather satchel you're wearing. A few seconds later there is a flash of light followed by a silvery glow. You look around to see Karkat holding a slim rod shining with alchemical light.

"Thanks," you say. He thrusts the stick at you and glares.

"Yeah, well, I wasn't going to try and get anywhere with you fumbling uselessly about the place like a bugbrained hatchling and smashing into every last wall and floor that we come across. Not when there was another option. Believe it or not, I do think ahead sometimes."

Terezi snickers. "Sometimes."

Karkat swats at her. "Shut it, bluebelly."

You pull yourself back to lean against the wall of the shack behind you, tucking your knees up and resting your arms on them. "So, what's the plan now, chaps? I mean, you're like the experts here."

Karkat shrugs and settles against the wall opposite you. "Well, I figure we can probably lie low here for a night before they catch someone willing to talk," he says, and rubs a hand over his face. "Fuck knows after that. Once someone down here rats and gets paid instead of gutted there'll be no end of assholes willing to sell us out for a few copper coins." He glances over at Gamzee. "We... we were going to try heading out through the caves, see if we could make it to the surface. That's a pretty risky move, though."

"Riskier than staying here?" you ask. The deep caverns are dangerous, no doubt about it, but you don’t recall them being as life-threatening as all that.

"Wasn't like we were all up and getting our think on as what we had a whole motherfucking lot to lose," Gamzee says, lying down to put his head in Karkat's lap. Karkat smooths his hair and Gamzee closes his eyes with a happy smile. "Shit's all up and being lethal as motherfuck, though, you know?"

Terezi smirks. "Maybe not," she says. You all look at her as she reaches into her pack and pulls out a sheet of parchment. "I received this earlier," she says. "Jake, do you happen to have a sister?"

"Bryn?" you exclaim, eyes going wide. "How do you... yes! Yes I do!" You scramble over, trying to see the letter. "Is that from her? What did she say?"

Terezi holds the parchment up out of your reach and the two of you have a brief scuffle that ends with you being shoved back and landing on your arse in the dust. "Naughty, naughty," she scolds. "Trying to read my private and personal communications."

"Hey, sister," Gamzee says, leaning up on his elbows to smile vaguely at her. "Think maybe you can be all up and motherfucking getting your motherfucking explain all on already instead of playing all what them motherfucking games and shit?"

You can't quite quantify the look Terezi gives him, sharp and narrow-eyed. "Exactly how high are you right now?" she asks.

Gamzee grins. "As I motherfucking can be," he replies, dropping his head back onto Karkat's lap. "Whatcha gonna do about it, motherfucker?"

Terezi raises an eyebrow at Karkat, who hunches over defensively. “Look, there was a pretty fucking good chance we were going to have to fight our way out of that hellpit,” he says, avoiding eye contact by staring at the floor. “I know that stuff is toxic shit but it stops him from feeling when he’s hurt and keeps him from freaking the fuck out into murder mode, so don’t sit there judging us like a fucking asshole when you don’t have to live with the consequences!”

Terezi folds her arms and snorts. Karkat shrinks in on himself a little more, and Gamzee reaches up from his lap to pat Karkat's face.

“Shh, bro,” he whispers. You shuffle your feet a little, feeling like an intruder on their moment.

“So, not to interrupt,” you say, interrupting. “But about that letter of yours and my sister...?”

Terezi’s head snaps around and she grins at you. “It’s from an old friend of mine. I mentioned Kanaya?”

Karkat looks up. “Wait, Kanaya as in, written in my fucking journal, marked by the fucking Sylph, runaway reformist Kanaya?”

“That’s her!” Terezi’s teeth aren’t pointed, but you could swear they’re sharp as she leans in to whisper conspiratorially. “She says she and some friends of hers were hired by your sister to come find you a day or two ago.”

You can’t help the smile that spreads across your face at the thought. “Really? Like, real adventurers? Coming to find us?”

“That’s what I- urk!” Terezi is cut off as you lunge at her and squeeze her in a tight hug of celebration.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Karkat demands, keeping his voice low. “Do you want more people to end up stuck in this shithole with the rest of us? Or dead in the fucking caverns?”

You shake your head, still beaming. “Well, of course not,” you tell him. “But that’s not going to happen. Bryn wouldn't hire someone who wasn't capable- Dad wouldn't let her, for one, and he should know a decent adventurer when he sees one! Good gosh, he wouldn't agree to let anyone else come unless he knew he could count on them in a scrum anyway.” You turn back to Terezi. “So what’s the plan? Can we escape from here and meet up with them?”

Terezi nods. “They’re expecting to have to get into Golgesi,” she says. “But it’s probably safer all round if we try and sneak out. All we have to do is survive the perimeter and we can meet them in the deep caverns.”

“Oh, great, and how are they going to know about that?” Karkat asks, rolling his eyes. “I know I’m not as much of an expert as you are, what with how I only know her from some crazy-ass trance visions and you’re her best godsdamned childhood friend, but from what I recall of Kanaya she’s capable in a pinch, fucking terrifying if you piss her off, an overbearing pain in the ass if she likes you and, most relevant to our current situation, she’s not a fucking mind reader!” He turns to you. “What about your sister? Can she read minds? Is she a wizard loaded to the arcane eyes with thought-delving beetleshit?”

You shake your head. “Uh, no...”

“Relax, I’ve got it covered,” Terezi says, pulling something out of her pocket. You lean in closer to see a small wooden token marked with a bird.

“What’s that?” Karkat asks, leaning in next to you. Terezi tosses it in the air and to your surprise it bursts into red flames, the circular token magically unfolding into a sheet of fire-wreathed parchment.

“Just something I picked up in the lab,” Terezi says, putting a finger to the hovering sheet. “I’ve got a couple more, for emergencies. I think this qualifies.” She pauses, then rummages in her bag and pulls out another sheet of parchment which you recognise as a cave map. “Hmm. If you’ll excuse me, I need to pick a meet point and get in touch with our allies.”

Karkat rolls his eyes and, easing Gamzee off his lap, stands up. “I’m going to go find some water,” he says. “You coming?”

Gamzee waves a languid hand in the air. “Nah, bro, I’m all motherfucking sweet as fuck down here.”

You look between him and Terezi, who’s still hunched over her parchments, and scramble to your feet. “If you want a hand, old chap, I’m willing to help out.”

Karkat narrows his eyes at you, but nods once before stomping past out of your hiding-place. You hurry to catch him up, the rod of light clutched firmly in one hand while the other lingers near your weapon. He sets off at a fair clip but you soon match his brisk pace.

“So, you grew up here?” you ask brightly, trying to start conversation. He glowers at you.

“Yes, I did, it was unbelievably shitty, and now I’m going to die trying to pull off a half-baked escape scheme and the partially-digested remains of my corpse will rot forgotten in a cave forevermore. There you go, the story of my entire fucking life for you to write the world’s worst saga about.”

You aren’t quite sure what to say to that, so you go with; “Come on. You don’t have to expect the worst every time, surely!”

“Yes I do, fuckass,” he snaps. “That way it’s less of a nasty surprise when it happens, which it inevitably will because some god out there- and I know which asshole it is, too, because he fucking signed his work like the arrogant shit he is- hates my fucking guts and wants to ruin whatever semblance of a life I manage to scrape together.”

“Oh.” You jog along after him, noticing that the people around you seem to be keeping well clear of your matching armour and tunics. “Was it really that terrible, growing up here?” you ask eventually. “I mean, it can't have been awful the whole time. There must have been some good moments.”

He doesn’t answer for a while, then without turning he gives a little twitch of his head that could be a nod or a shake. “Yeah. Some.” He glances back over his shoulder at you, then turns away and sighs. “I used to have these daydreams where I’d prove myself to someone important and get hired on as a guardsman, or allowed in a militia. Be a real citizen, actually become somebody, you know? Me and Gamzee used to spend hours plotting how I was going to be his bodyguard one day, move my way up through the ranks until I was a general for his house.”

“What happened?” you ask, just as the pair of you arrive at the edge of a river. You eye the water in it dubiously; it’s hard to tell in the silvery light of the rod, but it looks fairly murky and off-colour to you. Karkat crouches down beside it and takes your waterskin to stick in the flow anyway.

“I grew up,” he says. You can hear the bitterness and you stay silent as he stands up and thrusts the waterskin at you. “Dreams don’t come true here, and if you try and live like they will you just die sooner.” He goes back to the river and fills his own waterskin, and you think he’s avoiding looking at you. “I don’t expect a lucky asshole like you to get it.”

You think back to your father’s stories, the tales of adventure and heroism that you still hope to live up to one day, and wonder what it would be like to give all that up.

“Probably not,” you agree, shuddering. You hold out a hand to help Karkat back up the bank and the two of you head back through the Shanties. Your sense of direction is pretty darned good, even if you say so yourself, but Karkat seems to have the knack of navigating the place and you both find your way back to your cosy little recess with relative ease.

You haven’t said a word to each other the whole way back, but as you approach the dark cranny Karkat grabs your arm.

“What?” you ask, and he puts a finger to his lips before tapping his ear. You tilt your head, and try to listen over the babble of voices that fills the air to whatever he’s picked up on in your hiding-place. It’s difficult, but you hear rustling... some breathing that probably is a tad heavy... _oh fucking anvil of the Smith that was definitely a moan._

“Are they...?” you ask, and Karkat nods once, sharply, before turning his back on the alcove and dropping to the ground like a stone. You settle yourself beside him, trying very hard not to look back over your shoulder just to check that what you think might be happening is actually what is happening, because there has to be some sort of mistake here.

“Are you _sure?”_ you ask Karkat, just as an extremely pleased and distinctly feminine grunt floats out of the shadows. Both of you immediately turn bright red and he nods, curling up around his knees.

“Pretty fucking certain,” he mumbles. The pair of you spend a minute looking around; you examine pretty much everything illuminated by the rod in your hand, which covers a few shacks, various piles of what looks like any old crap but probably isn’t, and multiple locals who return your stare with varying degrees of blankness and hostility. You turn back to see Karkat staring at his own knees, picking at a loose thread on the breeches.

"Are you quite alright?" you ask, and inwardly kick yourself for saying something so clearly pointless. Why does this talking business have to be so damned difficult, anyway?

"I'm _fine,"_ he snarls, scowling at you over his own knees.

If you had any sense you would leave it at that, but then sense has never been your strongest suit. "Are you sure? Because you don't seem..."

"I'm fucking fine!" he snaps, and you can see his eye twitch as he fights to avoid shouting and drawing attention. "They are both godsdamn adults and if they want to trade disgusting venereal diseases on the floor of a filthy fucking slum then that's up to them, not me!" He hunches over a little more. "Stupid of me not to expect it in the first place, anyway."

You think back on Gamzee and Terezi's interactions, what there were of them, and shake your head. "I can't see how. They didn't even seem to like each other all that much."

"I don't think they do." Karkat's voice is muffled by his legs as he lets it fall forward.

"Well, then, why would they, um, you know?"

"Because they're both rich assholes who got given everything they ever wanted on a shiny silver platter?" Karkat says, still not looking round. "Well, she's not rich, she's Temple, but same fucking thing. Plus they're acting like brainless fuckmonkeys because we just barely survived doing something suicidally dangerous and death-defying.”

You shift awkwardly; the cold rock is making your legs ache and you aren't really sure what to say at all. None of your father's stories ever covered this sort of thing, and as complicated as they are guns and alchemy are a damned sight simpler to understand than people. "I'm sorry?" you say, and reach out to give Karkat's back a reassuring pat.

As soon as you make contact he unfolds, knocking your hand away and glaring at you full-force. "I'm not desperate and I'm not a fucking whore!" he snaps.

You didn't think you could get any redder but oh, hey, there it is. "I didn't think you were!" you retort, glaring right back at him because seriously, what sort of a fellow does he think you are? "I was trying to be friendly, you prick, there's no need to be an ass! What the buggering hell is wrong with you?"

He stares at you a moment too long, as if he's trying to work out whether you're actually that stupid or if this is some sort of a joke. "You know what?" he says eventually, his voice slow and oddly level. "Let's just forget this, okay? It's bad enough having to sit here knowing that those two are defiling the ground we're going to have to get a few crappy hours of rest on later. Can we just- can we just sit here and not fucking argue about shit?" He groans and rubs his hands over his face. "Fuck, I do not want to trance tonight."

You look at him, dark skin somehow still sporting even darker bags under eyes that don't stop moving as he watches the surrounding area, and decide that maybe you can maybe forgive the guy for being a bit weird and jumpy given the circumstances. "Everyone has to rest sometime," you point out.

He glares at you. "Yeah, but not everyone has to get fucking dumbshit visions into the bargain. I might not remember it clearly but I know that last night was an absolute chucklefest. I'm probably going to wake up tomorrow with Terezi slobbering all over my face demanding to know what miraculous fucking beetleshit revelations I've managed to hallucinate so she can declare me king of the pariah prophets." He shakes his head. "Who even knows with crazy lawkeeper bitches anyway."

You nod in agreement, because Terezi does seem like an unpredictable sort of cove. "Well, if it's any help, I could try staying up with you," you offer. "You know. Keep watch."

He looks at you out the corner of his eye, then huffs. "Yeah, sure. Why the fuck not. We can have a stupid asshole party and invite our good friend exhaustion to tomorrow's adventure. Our future selves are going to love us for that."

You grin at him and he scowls back, but you're fairly sure that the glare means he's trying too hard to be cross with you for something he really doesn't mind. Then another moan from the dark recess, this one far too loud to really ignore, makes you both jump.

"I can't fucking believe this is the story of my godsdamned life," Karkat groans, and you're inclined to agree as he drops his head forward onto his knees once again. You look around again, taking in the surroundings illuminated by your alchemical light-stick. You really need a better name for that thing, and decide arbitrarily to dub it a moonrod because it sort of reminds you of the way Antares shines. You always had a slightly guilty fondness for Antares.

The slums feel empty. The sound of distant screams and fighting in the city skims the void where you're sure you should be feeling some excitement, as if grazing the edges of an imagined exotic adventure or, say, an all-too real bolt-hole in a decrepit shanty. A hesitant note is produced. It's the one Awareness plays to make its audience feel exceptionally stupid about their past expectations.

You have a feeling it's going to be a long night.  


### Suggestions Used

 _WhiteTiger1221_ \- Karkat: Go along with Terezi's plan but be prepared to improvise if anything goes wrong.

 _Ms Arano_ \- Gamzee: Notice how disheveled Karakt and Jake are. Make "innocent" comment on it :o)

 _MASK_ \- Jake and Karkat: succeed at establishing alibi, albeit embarrassingly.

 _WhiteTiger1221_ \- Karkat: Use all of your willpower to resist punching Mohan in the face, or cutting him, unless circumstances deign it appropriate.

 _MASK_ \- Jake: keep getting hit on by strange (drow) women. and men.

 _MASK_ \- Jake: find a way to escape your admirers--you're exotic and interesting, you get it, but c'mon--at the wedding to make a proper escape with those other two (or three, if miss pyrope will be joining you)

 _unholygrunt_ \- Everyone should fall in love with Jake and he promptly falls in love with a ghost.

 _ttdOOOO_ – Everybody that makes sense: Be attracted to [Jake] at first sight. I find that as hilarious a running gag as Roxy trying to get in [John's] pants.

 _LostSock_ \- Gamzee: Have the haze of various drugs wear off. Immediately try to get back on at least one.

 _LostSock_ \- Gamzee: Resist all temptations to get high as a kite [before the wedding rehearsal] (with or without Karkat's help). No matter how badly you want to.

 _WhiteTiger1221_ \- Jake: Relay what it was you programmed the Golem to do.

 _MASK_ \- Lady Yetenekli: not according to plan not according to plan NOT ACCORDING TO PLAN--also someone blew your lab the fuck up. If someone is trying to make you angry, they are succeeding.

 _ttdoooo_ \- Drow Matrons: Feel the first stirrings of true panic as monkey wrenches appear in several parts of important plans.

 _WhiteTiger1221_ \- Terezi: Continue the plan. Keep out of sight of any guards. Those who guarded the alchemical lab have told Lady Yetenekli about your visit and she may have told the rest of the guards to capture you.

 _Ms Arano_ \- Terezi: Cunningly maneuver the Yetenekli (and Kutsanmis?) Matriarch(s?) in a way that helps with the escape plan... Preferably by pointing them towards your mentor...

 _GraveMonera_ \- (Terezi) == > Be brilliant

 _WhiteTiger1221_ – Terezi: Watch your awesome plan in action. Improvise when necessary, because there is no way this is going to go all according to plan

 _ttd0000_ \- Terezi: Cackle at chaos that follows in the wake of your Awesome Plan.

 _Amyda_ \- Terezi: orchestrate a strategic retreat (a running battle through the tunnels, hopefully encountering backup along the way)

 _solarVerdancy_ – Karkat and Company: Escape.

 _arcaneScribbler_ – Karkat: GET THE FUCK OUT OF THIS SHITHOLE!

 _arcaneScribbler_ \- Jake: Promptly remove yourself from this confounded mess with the aid of your fellows.

 _arcaneScribbler_ \- Gamzee: AlL Up AnD GeT YoUr mOtHeRfUcKiNg AbScOnD On aLrEaDy, bRo.

 _arcaneScribbler_ \- Terezi: 3SC4P3 W1TH K4RKL3S 4ND CO., THW4RT1NG TH3 PL4NS OF TH3 CHURCH. JUST1C3 4LW4YS PR3V41LS!

 _unholygrunt_ – Terezi: Get this escape plan rolling

 _Antartique_ \- Terezi: Well, what are you waiting for, it is JUSTICE TIME!!

 _MASK_ \- Gamzee: save the day

 _MASK_ \- Terezi: also save the day

 _WhiteTiger1221_ \- Terezi: Reveal the information given in Kanaya's note to your accomplices.

 _WhiteTiger1221_ \- Jake: Feel relieved that at least your sister knows you're down here and become excited at the prospect of meeting her once you escape. Its just one more reason to get out of here.

 _sionnachsSkulk_ \- Jake: be caught up on things and bond with your god-marked brothers; do something adorkable.

 _WhiteTiger1221_ \- Karkat: Know vague information about Kanaya due to your trance-visions. Recount them to the uniformed.

 _LostSock_ \- Terezi: Try to get a message out to Kanaya. No point in getting her to bring in a rescue team if your group has already escaped, after all!

 _BubbleBtch_ – can someone please hook up with Gamzee romantically?

 _WhiteTiger1221_ \- Karkat: Try valiantly to prevent yourself from falling asleep. The only thing you'll get from sleeping is only a strangely nonsensical and highly annoying prophetic dream that is quickly forgotten.

[System Notes](http://celynbrum.tumblr.com/post/59703185742/lodad-system-notes-chapter-34)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GOD DAMN IT GAMZEE! EVERY TIME YOU MAKE IT WORSE! EVERY SINGLE TIME!
> 
> ...I swear he's doing it on purpose just to annoy me.
> 
> Anyway, that's this day finally ended! Yay!
> 
> EDIT: Fanart for this chapter!  
> [The Floor Is Uncomfortable](http://25.media.tumblr.com/1bf092b7895263a18b49fbe5b17b94bb/tumblr_mmrn4hWzgg1rkv9mfo1_1280.png) by [therandomtiger](http://therandomtiger.tumblr.com/) ([original Tumblr post](http://therandomtiger.tumblr.com/post/50389443569/the-floor-is-uncomfortable-not-as-uncomfortable)).
> 
> EDIT 2:  
> Farmed system notes out to Tumblr.


	35. -- THE BARD OF RAGE --

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Hero point votes:**  
>  Terezi 2  
> John 2  
> Roxy 1  
> Dave 1  
> Aradia 1  
> A DRAW HAS OCCURRED! D20 Roll - Odds for John, Evens for Terezi  
> ON A ROLL OF 9, JOHN GAINS ONE HERO POINT!  
> Voting now open for the next Hero Point award: one person will get one after three chapters.

## THE BARD OF RAGE

[](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/9eg7rooxoqvux6j/Bard%20of%20Rage.png?dl=0)   
  
_Madgod, Lord of Nightmares, Joybringer, the Shattered Smile_

ALIGNMENT: Chaotic/Chaotic Evil; see below.

PORTFOLIO: Passion, Insanity, Devotion, Unmaking

DOMAINS: Destruction (Rage), Strength (Ferocity), Madness (Nightmare), Chaos (Whimsy), Pleasure*, Song*

FAVOURED WEAPON: Improvised; Instead of a favoured weapon, Clerics of the Bard choose either the Catch-Off Guard feat or the Throw Anything feat for free at first level.

THE BARD OF RAGE is a god of whimsy and horror, joy and terror, laughter and fury, the chaos within his shattered mind reflected in the unpredictability of everything and anything around him.

HISTORY  
The lore associated with the Bard is messy and inconsistent at best, but the picture it builds is an unsettling one. In the tales which have survived for study he wears one of three faces, which his followers once called the Child, the Puppeteer and the Monster, and nobody can know which one they are dealing with until it is already too late. He is the god of innocence, but this includes innocence lost; rarely does any civilisation remember both these truths, and few have ever welcomed his worship.

PANTHEONS AND RELATIONSHIPS  
The Bard of Rage appears in the worship of two different pantheons as well as individually.

In the PANTHEON OF BLOOD, he is the god of miracles and enduring faith, scorned by most of his allies for his apparent lack of power but smiling nonetheless. It is said that the Bard will love you even if none other will, and yet his love is rarely sought- for although he is cheerful and hard to offend, only the KNIGHT OF BLOOD can calm his murderous rage once madness takes him.

Within the STARWALKERS, a pantheon whose worship has faded in all but a few lands, he is both the trickster and the traitor, an unpredictable element in the plans of both Seers who sometimes helps and sometimes hinders his supposed allies. Whether he loved the KNIGHT OF BLOOD or duped him into providing aid is a matter best left to theologians and storytellers, but he hates the KNIGHT OF TIME and the SEER OF MIND. It is said that he drew her from her true calling into the darkness, where he hides from the other gods. In this pantheon he is the God of Death as it was he who slew the children of the SYLPH OF SPACE and put their bodies in the sky, where they light the world below and let him dance at night.

Alone, he is a deity of cults, of madmen and mendicants and murderers. Scattered superstitions and customs the world over are thought to be lost fragments of his worship and yet few will admit to being his followers. Tales that are known of him or thought to be of him tell of his lonely wanderings, his whimsical encounters, and his love for the light of the moons. He avoids other gods, and they spurn him; the SEER OF MIND is often his adversary and at times his lover, but aside from the KNIGHT OF BLOOD the only other god who seems to tolerate his presence for long is the SEER OF LIGHT.

As an antagonist to other pantheons or deities, he is often cast in the role of the traitor or deceiver, often working in service of a great and unknowable evil. His presence in the legends of others has long proved unsettling to students of the divine as he suggests the existence of something greater than the gods and deeply inimical to them. Many scholars argue that this being is simply a creation of his own insanity, but either way, the actions of the Bard as an enemy of other gods are only for the good if it serves a greater evil.

APPEARANCE AND EMISSARIES  
The Bard of Rage has the most varied depictions of any god, taking the appearance of any that would follow him. He is most often tall and thin with wild hair and shadowed eyes. Depictions show his face painted- sometimes as if for a carnival, sometimes as if for war- and sometimes with three long scars across it. He is frequently shown with clubs, either holding them as weapons or juggling them as toys, and whatever clothes he wears he dresses in black, grey and purple.

SERVANTS  
Few things are sacred to the Bard of Rage, and this extends to living creatures. It has however been noted that although the god generally appreciates blood sacrifice, he will grant disproportionate favour for a goat and appears to be angered if a bull is killed as an offering. He also takes an interest in performing animals or those who are used for entertainment- which can mean breaking the chain that binds the dancing bear, or causing the pit dog to turn on its master.

_Calbro_  
This eerie puppet is associated with three different deities and thus cannot be considered a true servant of the Bard. To those who follow the teachings of the Cults of Rage, Cal is a sign of approval and a directive to action; those who see him are considered chosen for a mission. What that mission is and how lethal it might prove are entirely debatable, but to refuse such a calling is to draw the wrath of the Bard himself.

_The Mask of Madness_  
This accursed mask, marked by three gouges across the face of the wood, is said to grant the wearer great power- but that anyone who wears it is slowly driven insane. Tales tell of the voices that whisper to those foolish or unlucky enough to gain possession of this artefact, urging them to abandon rationality and do the bidding of the mask’s true master.

_The Box of Miracles_  
Said to be the archetype for such items as the Deck of Many Things and the Rod of Wonder, this ornate and colourful box has appeared time and again throughout history and legend. According to the stories, when opened it causes something to happen- but exactly what happens is completely unpredictable. In one story it gives an entire kingdom blue hair and monkey tails; in another, it unleashes a storm that destroys a city in fire and rains of blood and stone. Only the truly desperate or foolhardy would ever open such a thing, knowing that anything could result.

CHURCH  
Cults of the Bard have never had the social power or number of followers enjoyed by other gods, but then the god has never indicated any desire for such. Each of his cults exists in isolation and often in secret, following their own traditions and beliefs- it is not entirely unknown for two opposed cults to engage in clandestine, cloak-and-dagger warfare with each other. Since the fall of the Church of Blood the more prominent and benevolent cults of the Bard have faded, leaving only scattered and dangerous fragments to represent him in the world.

WORSHIPPERS AND CLERGY  
Clerics of the Bard of Rage are Chaotic Good, Chaotic Neutral, or Chaotic Evil only. It is unknown which of these alignments the god shares, and it is speculated to vary depending on his mood or which of his faces he wears.

Followers of the Bard are entertainers, lunatics, fanatics and psychopaths. He draws to him people who live in the moment and have little use for the laws of society, weaving instead worlds of fantasy for the mind to inhabit.

The clergy of the Bard are primarily Oracles, self-taught and driven by the fires of divine revelation, or Bards who weave myth and mystery together into magic. His devout followers are usually thought to be nothing but mindless, bloodthirsty marauders, but in fact there are cults of entertainers who follow him in secret and keep the old ways alive.

TEMPLES AND SHRINES  
Places of worship for the Bard of Rage have never been permanent affairs, his believers preferring small shrines or portable tents in accordance with their needs. In recent times many of his good or neutral worshippers have given up on obvious places of worship entirely, in no small part due to the sinister reputation of his more malicious followers.

HOLY TEXTS  
Every Cult of Rage produces its own book of teachings, generally written by one or more divinely inspired individuals. Many of these books were burned during the Purge and many more were lost, stolen or hidden away for safe keeping. However, from what has been recovered, it is apparent that the books can be divided into three categories swiftly distinguishable by the formatting of the title, and traditionally associated with one of the three faces of the god.

_hOnK_  
Distinguished by irregular or alternating runes or letters, HoNk texts are thought to relate to the Child aspect of the Bard. These accounts often take the form of childlike stories, sketches, and rambling diatribes on various things that could be considered wonderous. Despite the wide-eyed innocence and vivid imagination present in them, many of the Child texts contain an undercurrent of loneliness and bittersweet discovery. One of the most is a scroll ten feet long, on which is written a single poem following the life of the poet through the description of every beautiful, strange or sad thing they ever saw. It is considered one of the world's greatest works of art, and yet is thought to have been the only thing the poet ever wrote.

_honk_  
Distinguished by runes or letters that are small or somehow "quietened", honk texts are thought to relate to the Puppeteer aspect of the Bard. These accounts are most usually stories or letters which seem simple or even happy on the surface, but which with further reading and study hide terrible things under their unassuming surface. Several of them are rumoured to drive the reader mad, and even more disturbingly there are hints that many common folk tales may well have their roots in the Puppeteer texts- some of them barely altered from the original stories at all.

_HONK_  
Distinguished by runes or letters that are large or somehow "louder", HONK texts are thought to relate to the Monster aspect of the Bard. These tomes are the most varied of the books and yet all are alike; each is the author's chosen literary expression of unfettered fury. Two of the most famous recovered Monster texts are on display in the Theology Department at the University on the Arcane Isle. The first is crudely sewn together from the tanned skin of sentients and written in blood, simply reading "HONK" over and over again for five hundred pages. The second is an elegant and understated book twice that size, in which each page is an impeccably-punctuated and stomach-turning description of what the writer did to a new and different victim.

HOLIDAYS  
Cults and temples of the Bard consider more or less anything to be an excuse for a party, although what precisely that entails varies depending on the nature of the sect in question. Intoxicants, company and a certain amount of gleeful abandon are generally considered essential, but this can range from a sugar-fuelled childish paint-fight to a drug-hazed blood-soaked orgy.

\--------------  
* Third Party Domains, 4 Winds Fantasy Gaming

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me tell you a story.
> 
> Once upon a time, there was a teenager who wrote original stories and posted them on the internet. Being a fairly bratty teenager, the writer wasn't as good as they thought they were- but they _were_ considerably better than some of their peers on the site they used. The teenager used to look for other people's stories to read, and would leave long comments full of grammar and spelling corrections, and sometimes challenges to writing or plotting style.
> 
> Yeah, shit was obnoxious as all hell. But it's hard being a teenager who cares about these things, and no-one understands.
> 
> So this one time the teenager reads a really shitty story, at the very core of which was an idea they liked. So rather than just call it a day and leave, they left one of their monster comments for the author. The author of the story, in what I can only presume to be a fit of benevolant tolerance and inhuman kindness, thanked the teenager for their attempt at constructive criticism in a pleasant and polite fashion.
> 
> The author's friend/fan sent the teenager a virulent, bile-filled flame that drove the teenager away from that story for good.
> 
> The teenager stopped looking for other people's stories, and stopped commenting on people they didn't know. They stuck to the authors they knew, the people they were comfortable with, and eventually they stopped posting on the site altogether.
> 
> Then, years later, I started writing fanfics and got an account here. Hi, how ya doin?
> 
> So, today one of you leapt to my defence against a perceived slight from another commenter on this story, arguing that a suggestion they had made was "bad form". It was a polite response, apologetic even. It was also completely unacceptable to me. I am capable of speaking for myself, of making my own decisions on what is and is not okay with me. I have even taken time to lay out [what I personally consider "bad form"](http://celynbrum.tumblr.com/post/35412417453/we-appear-to-have-a-misunderstanding-people)\- and the suggestion in question was not even close to it.
> 
> If I let people start putting words in my mouth, no matter how politely, one day some person is going to word something badly and get chased away from my story by some other well-meaning soul. And I don't want that. I want your comments; the mad ones, the contradictory ones, the bland ones, the silly ones, the funny ones, the dramatic ones and the ones that make me bash my head against the keyboard and yell "WHYYY?" Because that is the aggregate of ideas around which this fic forms. If we don't get new voices in here, yelling different things, the story will stagnate and die. And none of us want that.
> 
> Thanks for your time. Next week we will return to your regularly scheduled bullshit.


	36. ==> Dreamer: Discover

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Hero point votes:**  
>  Nobody has voted yet!

## ==> Dreamer: Discover

Your dreams have never been dull, but it's only when you're sleeping that you know why; they're not yours. You dance through the dreams of others like a flame in the darkness, slipping from one to the next as easily as walking into a room. You don't know exactly why you can do this, but you're fairly sure it has something to do with the arcane power that flows through you like blood. Maybe one day you'll even be more than a nightly ghost in the heads of others.

The first dream you touch is, as ever, not a dream at all. There’s a difference between the dreams of sleepers and the trance visions of elves; the visions are deeper, heavier, less transitory. You can never hold on to one for long, not with a mind designed to dream, and you don't know how this soul manages it- you've stepped inside his head almost every time you close your eyes and it's forever trying to do both at once, torn visions and spiralling dreams that all too often hold the tone of nightmares warring and struggling against each other.

It's like that tonight, too. You don’t spend long in the jagged landscape of his mind, feeling a pang of guilt as you drift through the soap-bubble barrier that holds him prisoner to his own secret self. Long ago you learned that he cannot see or hear you when you reach out to him, can only rarely sense your presence at all and never enough to save him from the fractured darkness that surrounds him. It hurts too much to watch so you no longer do, even when your powers draw you back here time after time. For others, sleep is a time to be away from the world. For you, the person you are when waking is the dream; she sleepwalks unknowing until she can become you again, and you remember so little of who she is when you are here and in your true element.

Between the dreams there is nothing, not even darkness or form. You become a wisp of consciousness as you rise into the garden of dreams, neither seeing nor feeling but simply knowing the not-space. Around you are other bubbles of imagination, other realms you could enter. They entice you with wafts of smell and snatches of sound, isolated fragments of feelings that you know will paint their inner worlds if only you go and look. Through the dreams, in what you would call "up" if there was such a thing here, runs a river of unimaginably brilliant light. You can sense it from anywhere, always above you and never in reach. You know because a few times you have tried to reach it, to touch the river; it is elusive, and yet you remain certain that you should be able to go there.

Tonight, something is different in the dreams. You follow an alien scent in your garden of thought, racing through the darkness that has never held anything but excitement for you until you reach the edge of a bubble that is somehow different from the rest. You touch it with your thoughts and it ripples in golden light; for a moment you see a web stretching away from it, off into the vast and empty corners of your realm.

You have no lips, but you smile anyway, feelings of warmth and happiness and interest curling off you like smoke. Closing with the strange bubble, you push forwards; it resists you more than you expected, and when it finally gives way you tumble head over heels into an even stranger place.

The bubble has granted you form, of sorts; you stand as a reddish blur of mist and memory to see that the golden web is visible here, stretching out all around you between shining nodes of light. Looking down you can also see a cobble path following one of the threads. At each node on the path there is a milestone, and you look at one to try and see the words but the symbols shift and elude you. With another brief glance at the delicate threads of the web, you decide to follow the path and see if it leads to any answers. As you walk further you notice that some parts of the golden web, especially the ones along the cobble path, seem to be somehow diseased. Reaching out, you almost touch one of the blackened nodes, but you pull the impression of your hand back just before you brush against it. Whatever has caused this, it feels deeply wrong, and you don’t want to risk it somehow infecting you.

Further and further along, and more of the web is black and dead; you feel a sense of growing dismay as the golden light dwindles, until you are walking in shadow and only a single bright thread guides your steps. From up ahead you hear voices, or sense the idea of them; one of the speakers feels female, curious, impatient. The other is male, anger, frustration.

CG: WHY IS IT THAT YOU’RE THE ONE WITH THE CHEAT-SHEET TO THE FUTURE AND YET I’M THE ONE WHO SAW THIS COMING?  
CG: I MEAN, I FUCKING TOLD YOU TO BE SURE YOU REMEMBERED, THAT THIS SHIT WAS IMPORTANT, BUT NO.  
CG: YOU HAD TO GO AND BE A FLIGHTY PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE ASSHOLE AS ONLY A LALONDE CAN.  
TT: I hardly think it is fair or justifiable to hold me culpable for something which I have no recollection of.  
CG: THE ONLY REASON YOU HAVE NO FUCKING RECOLLECTION IS BECAUSE YOU DIDN’T FOLLOW MY PERFECTLY GOGDAMNED SENSIBLE ADVICE, YOU TENTACLE-FONDLING CRETIN.  
CG: I MEAN, WHAT IS SO FUCKING DIFFICULT ABOUT JUST WRITING THIS SHIT DOWN?  
TT: While I do see the merits of your suggestion, not everyone is in a situation where it is simple or practical to take notes immediately upon waking.  
TT: Naturally your calm, reasoned suggestions are proving extremely persuasive, but I am afraid I may have to seek some of your boundless understanding in this matter.  
CG: FUCK YOU, YOU HAUGHTY BITCH, I’VE MANAGED TO KEEP NOTES FOR NEARLY TWENTY YEARS AND THAT’S IN A PLACE WHERE PEOPLE EAT PAPER AND THINK WRITING IS SOME SORT OF MAGICAL TALENT POSSESSED ONLY BY THE MOST ELITE AND MYSTICAL OF FUCKING NUBNUGGETS.  
CG: WHATEVER YOUR PROBLEMS ARE, GET OVER THEM, BECAUSE WE DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS SHIT.

You drift closer to the pair until you can see them, softly pulsing orange-purple mist facing roiling grey clouds that flash with red lightning. At the centre of each cloud you see the vague shape of a person, but it's hard to make out much detail from this distance. You look down at your own arms to see them almost hidden by a cloud of deep red dust, the individual grains sparkling in the golden light of the surviving threads.

TT: Perhaps it would help foster a greater sense of urgency if you would deign to inform me of precisely what danger it is that we are facing.  
CG: I ALREADY TOLD YOU, I DON'T FUCKING KNOW. GO ASK THE LUNAR LORDS.  
TT: Come, now. I can clearly see the ravages of our foe's nefarious plot in the narrowed courses of history.  
TT: In order for you to recommend communication with the Lords of the Lunar Planes, you must be in possession of some esoteric knowledge to which I am sadly not privy.  
TT: For that matter, why are you so insistent that this task fall to me? Why can you not perform it yourself?  
CG: I CAN'T DO IT BECAUSE THEY'RE A BUNCH OF CREEPS, FREAKS, PSYCHOPATHS AND LOSERS.  
CG: HALF OF THEM HATE MY FUCKING GUTS AND I HATE THE OTHER HALF SO MUCH THAT IT MAKES ME WANT TO VOMIT PURE BILE UNTIL MY HYPOTHETICAL INTERNAL ORGANS DISSOLVE INTO A TOXIC ACIDIC MESS OF PURE LOATHING.  
CG: AND THEY ARE STILL ALL BETTER THAN MY WAKING SELF, WHO IS THE DUMBEST PIECE OF SHIT I HAVE EVER HAD THE DISPLEASURE OF BEING- AND BELIEVE ME, THAT'S SAYING SOMETHING, AS I HAVE SPENT MY ENTIRE EXISTENCE STRIVING TO WIN THE TITLE OF BIGGEST IDIOT IN THE ENTIRETY OF PARADOX SPACE.  
CG: THERE'S ONLY ONE REASON I'M STILL LOSING AND THAT'S BECAUSE FUTURE ITERATIONS OF MYSELF KEEP TAKING THE TITLE.  
CG: POINT IS, HE WON'T DO JACK SHIT FOR ME, AND EVEN IF HE FOR SOME INCONCEIVABLE REASON MADE THE ATTEMPT HE WOULD FUCK IT UP COMPLETELY AND IRREVOCABLY.  
TT: Interesting.  
TT: Would you like to discuss your feelings of self-loathing? It appears you are doing some significant projection of them onto the world at large, and they may well be the primary source of your marked aggression and general hostility.  
CG: OH MY MOTHERFUCKING GOG.  
CG: JUST SHUT YOUR CHITINOUS WINDHOLE ALREADY, YOU ENORMOUS NOOKSNIFFING SHE-HELLBEAST.

You stifle a giggle and risk drifting closer. You’ve never seen anyone else walking through dreams before, but both of these people are undoubtedly real- even if they don’t seem to be as good at dreams as you are!

TT: No, no. I think that I am rather enjoying this diversion.  
TT: Since you are unwilling to discuss any other topic, why don’t we begin by examining your relationship with your mother?  
CG: FUCK YOU.  
TT: I see.  
TT: You know, according to leading mind healers, it is more common than you might expect to harbour feelings of physical desire for close relatives.  
CG: ALL OF MY MOTHERS WERE FUCKING SAINTS, LALONDE, AS WAS MY DEFINITELY MALE CRAB-MONSTER GUARDIAN.  
CG: UNLIKE, I HASTEN TO ADD, YOUR DRUNKEN SHAMBLES OF AN ECTO-RELATIVE.  
TT: I must apologise, I don’t seem to have any clear memory of who you are referring to.  
TT: But are those feelings of inadequacy I sense behind your clumsy barb?  
CG: LOOK, IF I TELL YOU WHAT I KNOW, WILL YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT MY THINKPAN?  
TT: Oh, please, don’t feel you have to reveal anything if you are not comfortable doing so.  
CG: THAT HAD BETTER BE A FUCKING YES. ESPECIALLY SINCE WE BOTH KNOW YOU AREN’T PLANNING TO WRITE ANY OF THIS SHIT DOWN, SO I MIGHT AS WELL EXPLAIN IT ALL TO A WALL.  
TT: Very well. I shall cease my attempts to analyse your emotional outbursts if you share your knowledge with me.  
TT: You have my word.

You are not breathing, but you hold your breath nonetheless. Anyone in your position would want to know what was happening! You scoot a little closer, relying on the tangled web of shadows to hide your presence as you eavesdrop.

CG: DO YOU KNOW WHAT WE ARE, LALONDE?  
TT: Dreamers, I believe. Prophets, seers, soothsayers, oracles- do tell me if I am getting close.  
CG: WE’RE GODS, YOU CORPSEFUCKING MORON.  
TT: What.  
CG: WE ARE THE GODS. IT’S US. YOU KNOW, THOSE ASSHOLES WHO GET TEMPLES AND WORSHIPPERS AND CULTS SINGING THEIR PRAISES? THE DIVINE CREATORS OF THE MATERIAL WORLD AND ALL ATTENDANT PLANES? THE ALL-POWERFUL BEINGS WHO MAKE UP THE PANTHEONS OF THE WORLD?  
CG: THAT’S US.  
CG: I’M THE KNIGHT OF BLOOD. YOU’RE THE SEER OF LIGHT.  
CG: WELCOME TO FUCKING GODHOOD, ASSHOLE.  
TT: That seems somewhat unlikely. While the gods most likely could take on mortal form if they so chose, why would they do so, especially in such a time of crisis?  
CG: OH, FUCK YOU.  
CG: DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW PAN-ROTTINGLY DULL IT IS TO SIT IN THE CENTRE OF EVERYTHING FOR MILLENIA?  
CG: THE IDEA WAS TO GET OUT AND HAVE SOME FUN.  
TT: It seems like remarkably poor timing.  
CG: WE WEREN’T AWARE OF ANY PROBLEMS WHEN WE FIRST LEFT, AND YOU ASSHOLES HAVE JUST BEEN GOING ROUND AND ROUND AND ROUND ON THE MAGIC REINCARNATION RIVER EVER SINCE.  
TT: But you haven’t?  
CG: I’M THE GOD OF MEMORY, AND AN ASSHOLE WHO FUCKS EVERYTHING UP. HOW DO YOU THINK REINCARNATION WENT FOR ME?  
CG: THIS MORTAL LIFE IDEA MIGHT BE ALL FUN AND GAMES FOR THE REST OF YOU, BUT TRUST ME, I WAS BETTER OFF WITH CENTURIES OF SOUL-CRUSHING BOREDOM AND HELLISH ISOLATION.  
TT: If this is an attempt to elicit guilt or sympathy, I feel obliged to inform you that it is spectacularly ineffective.  
CG: LOOK, ALL I’M TRYING TO SAY IS THAT I SPENT A VERY, VERY LONG TIME WAITING FOR THE REST OF YOU TO GET BORED AND COME HOME.  
TT: So what happened? Clearly you chose to rejoin us rather than the other way around.  
CG: SOMETHING AND SLASH OR SOMEONE INVADED THE CORE.  
TT: I’m sorry, I don’t follow.  
CG: THE CORE. THE CENTRE OF REALITY. THE AXIS OF THE FUCKING COSMOS. IT WAS INVADED BY HORDES OF CREEPY NIGHTMARISH ASSHOLES AND I CLEARED THE FUCK OUT.

A shiver runs through you, the billows of red sand puffing in subconscious alarm. You don’t just hear his words, you feel them, and something in you responds in panicked kind.

TT: Why?  
TT: For all your irritating personality quirks, you certainly don’t strike me as the type to run from a fight.  
CG: THERE’S RUNNING AND THERE’S RETREATING, LALONDE.  
CG: WHOEVER DID THIS PLANNED IT WELL. THE FIRST THING I KNEW WAS WHEN THEY WASTED ALL YOUR SORRY HIDES BEFORE THEY EVEN SET FOOT UP THERE, WHICH BASICALLY RESET ALL THE MOST POWERFUL BEINGS IN THE UNIVERSE TO SQUARE ZERO.  
CG: THEN IMMEDIATELY AFTER THAT, THEY WERE IN THE CORE WITH WHAT SOUNDED LIKE A WHOLE GOGDAMNED ARMY.  
CG: I DECIDED TO GET OUT BEFORE THEIR CONTINGENCY PLAN FOR DEALING WITH FULLY REALISED DEITIES SHOWED UP.  
TT: You do realise that if I am to believe what you are saying, I must accept that an unknown, powerful and presumably hostile force has taken up residence in the dwelling of the gods?  
TT: Leaving aside for a moment the frankly ludicrous idea that the gods are in fact all in what I believe is called “cahoots”.  
TT: I still see no evidence to support your claims.  
CG: NO EVIDENCE?  
CG: LOOK AT YOUR PRECIOUS LIGHTS, SEER.  
CG: WHOEVER THIS FUCKASS IS, THEY’VE GOT THE POWER TO CHANGE THE WORLD HOWEVER THEY SEE FIT.  
CG: DO YOU LIKE WHAT YOU SEE?  
TT: …no. No I do not.  
CG: THEN FOR THE SAKE OF ALL THAT IS SACRED AND PROFANE, TALK TO THE FUCKING LUNAR LORDS LIKE I TOLD YOU TO IN THE FIRST PLACE.  
CG: THEY’RE THE CLOSEST THING TO REAL GODS LEFT AND THEY’RE NOSY AS FUCK.  
CG: THEY HAVE TO KNOW SOMETHING.  
TT: So our plan is to cross our fingers and make a wish?  
TT: That seems somewhat juvenile in the face of an adversary on this scale.  
CG: OF COURSE THAT'S NOT THE WHOLE FUCKING PLAN.  
CG: I MEAN, I'M NOT EXACTLY GREAT ON PLANS AND DETAILS AND SHIT, BUT I KNOW WHEN WE NEED ONE AND RIGHT NOW WE ARE FUCKED TO ALL THE HELLS AND BACK IF WE TRY AND WING IT.  
CG: BUT A GOOD LEADER'S GOT TO KNOW WHEN TO DELEGATE.  
TT: Well, naturally. And I presume you were intending to delegate as much of this as physically possible to myself?  
CG: NO, REALLY. LEAVE THE PLANNING TO THE PERSON WHO CAN SEE THE FUCKING FUTURE?  
CG: WHY THE FUCK WOULD I WANT TO DO THAT?  
TT: Are you contributing anything other than dire warnings and your own charming presence?  
CG: YES, ACTUALLY.  
CG: BEFORE I LEFT THE CORE I

He hesitates, turns slightly. The blurred and formless face at the heart of the roiling stormcloud shifts and faces your way.

CG: SOMEONE'S THERE.

Red lightning arcs in the shadows of his hands to form the idea of twin sickles, and the golden glow of his companion intensifies until she is holding two slim needles of light. Realising that you are well and truly caught, you decide that honesty is the best policy and step out of hiding with your hands up and your sands quieted.

AA: hi guys!!!  
AA: sorry to bother you but i was just exploring the dreams and this one looked so interesting  
AA: and i couldnt help overhearing!

The red stormcloud glared at her eyelessly.

CG: OF COURSE. FUCKING FIGURES YOU'D HAVE YOUR OWN PERSONAL SOMNAMBULIST RUMPUS ROMP THROUGH THE DREAMWORLD.  
TT: You are acquainted with this... individual, then?  
CG: YEAH.

You squeak in delight.

AA: oh wow! thats so great that you know me!!!  
AA: hey am i a god too?  
CG: YOU'RE THE FUCKING MAID OF TIME, DUMPASS.  
CG: GODDESS OF THE DREAMERS AND THE DEAD, WHICH EXPLAINS WHAT YOU ARE DOING INVADING OUR PRIVATE CONVERSATION IN COMPLETE CONTRAVENTION OF ANY KIND OF MANNERS OR TACT.  
CG: NOT THAT YOU EVER HAD EITHER TO BEGIN WITH.  
AA: well it sure doesnt sound like you exactly have much of those things either!  
AA: in fact youre kind of an asshole  
CG: SO THE FUCK WHAT?  
CG: CAPTOR'S A FUCKING ASSHOLE TOO AND YOU LIKE HIM JUST FINE.  
CG: BUT I'M NOT ALLOWED?  
CG: HOW IS THAT FAIR?  
TT: It is not. It is, however, an entirely accurate and, dare I say, valid observation.  
TT: It is a pleasure to meet you, Miss...?

You start to respond and then stop, confused as your name eludes you. It was right there on the tip of your tongue, but somehow you don't know it. Maybe you never did.

The red-grey figure rolls his blank storm-eyes and folds his arms.

CG: HER NAME'S ARADIA.

You are very suddenly not asleep any more.

It's dark in your room, the faded firelight that seeps in under the door nowhere near enough to trigger your colour vision. Darkvision shows you the hospitality of Jade's family in stark black and white, the thick furs and blankets falling off you as you sit up in bed. You try to hold onto the details of your dream but the more you grasp for them the faster they run out of your head like water through a sieve, leaving you with a few confused fragments and a heavy sense of foreboding.

Beside you Sollux lets out a sleepy groan and rolls his face further into the cosy nest of bedding. You smile and run a hand through his hair; he looks as innocent as a baby like this and you know you made the right decision insisting that he spend the night with you. The Quartzkin family were dubious, but you explained that especially after all that drinking he was probably going to have nightmares. He never sleeps right unless you're nearby anyway, but you don't think they needed to know that much.

If you're being honest, you feel better having him close to hand as well. You hate it when you stay at an inn that won't let you bunk in the same room; every time you wake up without him you panic until you find him and reassure yourself that he's okay. It's not rational or sensible- you know he can take care of himself perfectly well now you're adults and he's not going to just vanish away from you- but there were too many times when you were children that you were forced to let him out of your sight, and those excursions never ended well.

Apart from the two of you, Kanaya's the only one who knows how much you rely on each other just to stay functional. You know that the dwarves and Jade have been wonderful and welcoming, but you want to at least maintain some semblance of professionalism around them. At least they seem to have taken Sollux's drunken shenanigans as a sign of character rather than dysfunction.

The bed across the room is an empty jumble of blankets suspiciously devoid of wolves, and the one in-between has been neatly made and the sheets expertly turned down. Jade and Kanaya are already up, then; you hear quiet voices coming from the next room and drop a small kiss on Sollux's forehead before wriggling out of bed and slipping your feet into the huge furry indoor shoes a beaming Thyri gave you last night. Still comfortable in the shirt and shift you slept in, you ignore the jumbled pile of clothes on the floor by the bed. You glance back as you reach the door and smile to see that Sollux has already claimed your warm furs and cocooned himself in the bed.

You tread softly in the corridor, following the sound of voices towards the sitting room. You and your group displaced the boys from their room to Bryn's, Vidar losing the scuffle for the bed, and Bryn in turn had moved to a bedroll in her parents' room. You can hear all of them snoring like troopers; you've yet to meet a dwarf that qualified as a delicate or genteel sleeper. Not that you mind in the least. Staying at adventuring inns is a good way to meet all sorts of people, and you worked out long ago that it doesn't matter if people are elves or dwarves or aasimar or tieflings or orcs or halflings or gnomes or anything else besides- they're all their own unique selves. You like Jade's dwarf family. They're fun, and kind, and also planning to pay you quite a lot of money which is pretty high on your list of good things to happen!

Jade and Kanaya are sitting by the fire, dressed in their night-things as you are and poring over a piece of parchment. Jade is leaning against Bec's furry side like he's the backrest of a chair, and the wolf flicks an ear and shifts his eyes to you as you approach. Putting a finger across your lips, you tiptoe up behind Kanaya, hoping to surprise her.

“... and if I am reading the map correctly, which I hope I am, these lines here mark entrances to the Deep Caverns,” Kanaya says.

Jade frowns, her lower lip jutting out as she leans over what has to be a map of the various local cave systems. “I don't understand. Aren't the Deep Caverns just deeper caves?”

“Not exactly. There is a... AGH!” Kanaya squeals as you lunge forward and grab her into a hug from behind, almost knocking her to the ground. Jade starts giggling and you can't help joining in when you see the nonplussed look on Kanaya's face.

“Aradia,” she says as you scoot around to sit on the rug beside her, accepting a lick from Bec as you settle down near his head. “You gave me quite a shock.”

“That was the idea,” you say, snickering. Jade gives an appreciative nod and reaches out to pat your arm.

“Did you sleep well?” she asks.

You frown; at the mention of sleep a disconcerting sense of having forgotten something important tugs at you. “I... think so,” you say slowly. “I had a dream.”

“Was it anything of interest?” Kanaya asks. You smile at her, glad that your surprise stealth hug is forgiven.

“I can't really remember it,” you admit with a shrug. “There was a web of golden light, and a red storm that was angry with me, and I'm pretty sure there was something bad- ugh, I don't know!”

“Oh, well, it's just a dream, right?” Jade says cheerfully. “You want to join us? Kanaya was just telling me about the Deep Caverns.”

“Oh, yes please!” you say. “I mean, I know a bit about them, but it's mostly just tavern tales and stuff I guessed from when Kanaya mentioned her home. I've always wanted to know more!”

“I am not so sure you will continue to want that for long,” Kanaya says grimly. She taps the map with one finger. “What you must remember is that the Deep Caverns are not simply _a_ cave system; they are _the_ cave system.”

Jade frowned. “Huh?”

“The surface caves are localised,” Kanaya says, tracing dwarven runes on the map with one finger. “At most a cave system will extend for hundreds of miles.”

“But that's really far!” you point out. Kanaya nods.

“It is,” she agrees. “So understand what I mean when I tell you that the Deep Caverns extend to every corner of the material plane, and into a few other realms besides.”

You aren't looking at Jade's face, but you're sure she looks as surprised as you feel. “Under the whole world?” you ask, eyes wide.

“What about the oceans?” Jade adds. “They can't be that deep, surely!”

“They can be, and they most assuredly are,” Kanya says. “Now, here in the Dragonshards the border with the surface caverns is close to the surface and irregular due to constant conflict with the dwarven clans, but make no mistake; just because Golgesi lies nearer the sky than other drow cities does not mean it is not within the Deep Caverns. It is an entirely separate world, one of darkness and danger, and full of creatures that have migrated in from planes of putrid shadow and evil.” She raises her eyes and meets your gaze steadily. “Do not make the mistake of thinking that you traverse mere caves when you pass below the threshold.”

Solemnly, you nod. You've heard similar stories before, more embellished and from sources less reputable, but it's not out of the question. You can remember times when you were lost in the Greenweald, so far in the heart of the woods that you found yourself wondering if the forest ever ended. All you have to remember is that these caves truly do not.

THUMP.

You suppress the urge to run back to the room you slept in, instead watching the door. Your patience pays off when it slowly creaks open to reveal Sollux, still wrapped in a blanket. In the comfortable darkness he's not wearing his eyeglasses and you can clearly see the bright arcane light of his eyes flickering and wavering as he shuffles forward and drops to the ground next to you.

"Pleathe tell me I didn't make too much of an ath of mythelf," he says quietly, resting his head on your shoulder face-first. You give him a reassuring pat and wrap your arm round him for stability.

"You've done worse," you tell him, trying to sound encouraging. "And nobody minded. Even the bee lady said it was okay once we apologised."

"Bee... lady?" Sollux asks. "Oh, fuck. What did I do?"

A snort of laughter escapes from behind Jade's hands. "You were so funny!" she says.

Sollux raises his head just enough to glare at her through a baleful red slit of eye. "Yeth, becauthe I alwayth wanted to be a laughing-thtock." He groans and slumps a little. "Will you jutht pleathe tell me how bad it ith?"

You run a hand through his hair and look at Kanaya, who shrugs. "You apparently performed within acceptable parameters in a drinking contest with several dwarves," she says. "Then you decided to go and find a beehive they mentioned, without first taking the time to re-clothe yourself. There were several magical outbursts, none of them severe, and the worst damage done is to a neighbour's fence."

Sollux doesn’t exactly stiffen, but his stillness isn’t natural. His head rotates until he’s staring at Kanaya. “Are you thaying I ran around the clanhold thtark fucking naked?”

Kanaya says nothing, but Jade’s giggle is answer enough. Sollux raises a hand and uses it to cover his face. “Oh, godth,” he groans. “At leatht tell me…”

“Pretty much everyone saw,” you tell him. His forehead thumps back into your shoulder. You wait a few seconds before asking; “Hung over?”

He nods.

Kanaya sighs and gets to her feet, brushing specks of dust off the shift she slept in. “I will go and see if I can find anything that might help,” she says, heading for the kitchen. You continue to cuddle Sollux close; Jade raises her eyebrows at you, and you roll your eyes. Silence reigns for a precious, peaceful minute.

“So can I see your mark?” Jade asks. Sollux’s head jerks up.

“What?”

You remember that he wasn’t there for your conversation last night and bounce excitedly as Jade scoots closer to the pair of you. “Our birthmarks!” you tell him. “Jade and her brother have them too, and hers is just like Kanaya’s only in a different place!”

“Pleathe thtop bounthing,” Sollux asks weakly, grey skin paling to a chalky tone. You oblige, belatedly realising that his stomach probably isn’t up to such antics, and let him settle down further so that his head is resting in your lap. He brings his hands up to cover his closed eyes and gives a low, pained moan.

Jade snorts. “You are such a baby,” she says, eyeing up his feet in a distinctly predatory fashion. “You know it’s entirely your own fault you’re in this state?”

Sollux’s reply is to roll over so that he’s facing in towards you, and to raise one hand in a rude gesture at the elf. You’re just considering how to get him out of this silly funk when Kanaya returns carrying a tankard of water and a strange-looking object that might be a fruit.

“Here,” she says, passing the tankard to Sollux as you lever him upright. He grimaces but guzzles the water anyway, and the sour smell on his breath diminishes noticeably.

“Is that a pomegranate?” Jade asks. Kanaya examines the object in her hand.

“I do not know,” she says. “But I recalled Sollux eating something similar last night and apparently enjoying it, so I thought that it might provide an acceptable form of sustenance and hydration given his delicate physical state.”

Sollux glares at her and makes grabby hands for the fruit until it is passed to him. You scowl, silently chiding him for his bad manners, and he returns your look with the blank stare that says “I don’t care, so what are you going to do about it?”

“I didn’t think you could get pomegranates this far north!” Jade is saying excitedly. “I mean, we used to grow things like that in the grove, but that’s using a lot of nature magic! And it looks pretty fresh, so the dwarves must have some way of growing it themselves…”

She is interrupted by a bright ball of green fire dropping down the chimney. You all stare, exotic fruit forgotten, as the magical flame rolls out onto the hearth, then picks itself up and hops towards Kanaya. Your jaw drops at the sight of the tiny flame-feathered bird as your companion reaches out to let it hop into her hands.

“Oh!” Jade squeaks, raising her hands to her face in delight. “It's so cute!”

“I shouldn't get too attached,” Kanaya says, just as the green bird explodes into an azure ball that unravels into a hovering sheet of parchment.

“Feather token?” you ask, as Jade oohs and shuffles closer to examine the magical blue fire. Kanaya nods, and you scoot out from under Sollux to get a closer look at her letter.

TO 4N UN3XP3CT3D BUT W3LCOM3 4LLY, GR33T1NGS

4S 1 UND3RST4ND 1T TH1S M3SS4G3 SHOULD R34CH YOU 4ND YOU 4LON3 BUT 1 KNOW YOU W1LL UND3RST4ND MY W1SH TO SP34K D1SCR33TLY. TH4T S41D 1T W4S GOOD TO H34R FROM YOU! YOUR T1M1NG 1S 4S STYL1SH 4S YOU 3V3R W3R3.

4S 1T H4PP3NS 1 H4V3 R3C3NTLY 3NCOUNT3R3D 4 SUNW4LK3R WHO 1S PROB4BLY TH3 ON3 YOU 4R3 4SK1NG 4FT3R. 1F H3S NOT TH3N TOUGH B3C4US3 W3 4LR34DY M4D3 ON3 H3LL OF 4 M3SS ROUND H3R3 4ND TH3R3S NO TURN1NG B4CK NOW. WH1CH 1S WH3R3 YOU COM3 1N.

1M G3TT1NG OUT, OLD FR13ND, JUST L1K3 YOU ONC3 D1D. TH3 SUNW4LK3R 1S W1TH M3 4S 4R3 4 COUPL3 OF OTH3R LOS3RS. W3 C4N PROB4BLY M4K3 1T TO TH3 C4V3RNS BUT HON3STLY W3 4R3NT L1K3LY TO M4K3 1T MUCH FURTH3R 1N TH1S SH4P3. 1F YOU W1SH TO KNOW WH3R3 TO M33T M3 S1MPLY R3C4LL TH3 G4M3S W3 US3D TO PL4Y TOG3TH3R 1N TH3 T3NTH Y34R OF OUR

“GIVE ME BACK MY POMEGRANATE, YOU THON OF A WHORE!”

You are bowled over by a large, fluffy hurricane as Bec streaks between you and Kanaya, holding Sollux’s breakfast in his jaws. Sollux screams an unintelligible word that makes your skin prickle, and twin bolts of unnatural blue and red fire streak past after the wolf.

“SOLLUX!” you scream, hearing Kanaya shout in unison with you as the blue fireball catches the edge of your shirt-sleeve and sets the worn cloth alight. You hurriedly smack it out with your other hand before turning to glare at your friend. To your surprise, his eyes are wide and his mouth is a little round “o” of horror, but he isn’t looking at you; instead, the angle of his head puts him looking squarely at…

You turn your head to see Kanaya holding two halves of a parchment scorched beyond recognition, glaring daggers at Sollux.

“I’m thorry?” Sollux offers. Kanaya’s eyes narrow.

“This was an extremely important message,” she says, her voice chillingly level. “Pertinent to the life-saving mission on which we are about to embark.”

“It wath an acthident,” Sollux says, pushing himself backwards towards you and Jade. “That furry hellbeatht thtole my fucking breakfatht!”

“Furthermore,” Kanaya says, with only the slightest emphasis. “That was the first communication I have had with an old and dear friend in many, many years. I should very much have liked to have perused it at my leisure, and now I cannot even be certain of finding her before she is consumed by the monsters of the Deep Caverns!”

Sollux blushes yellow. “But…” he says, pausing when his backwards scuttle leads him into Jade. He looks up to see her glaring down at him over folded arms.

“WHAT did you call Bec’s mother?” she demands.

“Uhh…”

Jade snarls- actually, literally snarls- and grabs the collar of Sollux’s shirt. “Listen up, fuckass! That wolf was like a second mother to me, and Bec has been my companion since he was a tiny adorable wriggly ball of fur! Just because you have two legs don’t think you mean more to me than he does because you don’t and you never will! He even saved your life, you ungrateful little shithead, so there’s no need to bitch about a stupid pomegranate and call him names!”

“OKAY!” Blue and red sparks of magic shower off Sollux again, and Jade drops him with a yelp as one pings against her. Sollux drops to the floor and lies there, glowering up at the three of you. “I get it, alright? I’m a fucking utheleth thcrew-up and I thould jutht crawl off and die in a hole thomewhere…”

You’re within arm’s reach, so you slap him. Dichromatic eyes stare at you in shock, and you fold your arms.

“You’re being an idiot,” you tell your best friend in the whole world. “We don’t hate you because you screwed up, dumbass. We’re just cross, is all! We’ll forgive you eventually.”

His eyebrows twitch, and he chews nervously at his lip. “But I- that methage-“

Kanaya waves a dismissive hand. “I had the opportunity to see most of it,” she says. “Perhaps I did not have the opportunity to examine it as deeply as I would have preferred, but I am optimistic that I can recall the most vitally important details and even if I cannot, Terezi is a resourceful individual. I am certain that as long as we make it to the right general area, she can find us even if we cannot find her.”

Sollux’s head swings round to face Jade, who shrugs. “What you said about Bec was rude,” she says. “Plus you tried to zap him with magic, and believe me I’m really pissed about that! But he’s a big wolf and he should know better than to steal other people’s food by now.” She turns her frown on Bec, and to your surprise the immense wolf actually manages to look ashamed of himself.

"You... you don't hate me?" Sollux asks, looking between Jade and Kanaya.

"No, of course not," Kanaya assures him. "But I am quite aggrieved, and believe me, you will pay."

An evil grin crosses your face as the perfect revenge for Sollux’s misdemeanour occurs to you. “Jade?” you say sweetly. Sollux freezes in place; he knows that tone. “Do you want to see Sollux’s mark?”

Jade might not have known you long, but she can tell you’re up to something. “Sure!” she replies, her expression just as merciless as your own. “Which foot is it?”

“That one,” you say, pointing. Jade dives forward and Sollux is too hung-over to get out of her way as she grabs his ankle.

“Get the fuck off me!” he shouts, kicking both his legs at her. Giggling, you grab his arms while Kanaya goes for the other leg, holding him spread-eagled and thrashing as Jade lifts his bare, undefended foot. In her defence she does spend a few seconds examining the black skull in the centre of the arch before she resorts to tickling.

“No, don’t, thtop it- AHAHAHAHAHAHA!” Sollux dissolves into helpless tears of laughter, unable to even properly beg for release. Small sparks of blue and red power start to jump out of his fingers and earth themselves in the rug. The four of you become a tangle of limbs and noise in front of the fire, and in the chaos you hardly even notice as the door opens.

"Glad to see you all in fine spirits!" says Gunnar. Jade and Kanaya immediately stop their tickle-torture, and all of you stare at the dwarf in varying amounts of dismay.

"Oh no, I'm so sorry!" you say, hands still hooked under Sollux's armpits. "We weren't even thinking- we didn't mean to wake you up!"

Gunnar shrugs. "Ah, it's no worry!" he says, making his way over to one of the chairs and sitting in it. "I'm just glad to see you all up and raring to go, and since I'm the only one in this family who doesn't sleep like a lump of adamantium I don't think you'll have any other early risers to concern yourselves with."

You breathe a collective sigh of relief, and Sollux squeaks as Jade gives his foot another sneaky tickle. You decide to take pity on him and let him go; he slides onto the floor with a sigh of relief and smacks your hand away when you creep it up to try and smooth his hair.

Gunnar chuckles, and Sollux lifts himself up on his elbows. “Look, about latht night,” he says, and you wonder if anyone but you can tell that what appears to be a sullen expression is actually genuine contrition on his part. “I don't, that ith, I'm not uthually- I thouldn't drink.” He drops to the ground and puts his hands over his face to cover his blush.

You had a word with your hosts last night before retiring to trance, so you are expecting it when Gunnar lets out a deep belly laugh and slaps his leg as if Sollux just made a fine joke.

“Oh, you should have seen me back in the day!” he exclaims. “Why, the one time I drank five kegs of ale as part of a drinking contest and stumbled out of the hold swearing to bring back the head of an ogre! Didn't make it of course; fell face-first off the parapet like the bloody fool I am, needed magical healing to put my nose back together afterwards...”

Sollux's head pops up again. “But... well, what about Thyri?”

Gunnar's second laugh is, if anything, louder than the first. “Thyri was the one who won the dashed contest, lad!” He held up a hand and started to count off fingers. “Bryn is a chip off the old block; she's more upset she didn't get to join in the fun than anything. Vidar was a mite concerned about you, but once he sees you're fine he'll probably try getting you drunk again. And Lars, well, he'll get himself in a tizzy, but he's a proper dwarf.” He beams at Sollux. “I'm impressed, lad, not angry!”

You and Jade chuckle and Gunnar guffaws again at Sollux's open-mouthed surprise. Even Kanaya smirks as she gets to her feet and nods to the dwarf.

"I think it is about time we got properly attired for our excursion," she says. "Aradia, Jade, I shall leave you with Mister Quartzkin to prepare our morning repaste."

"What about me?" asks Sollux, dropping bonelessly back to the floor. Kanaya's smile is anything but friendly.

"I thought that since we are for once in civilised environs, we could discuss your dress sense," she says. You can't help snickering as Sollux shivers and tries to scramble away; you give him a cheery little wave as Kanaya grabs his arm and drags him bodily out of the room, still protesting this cruel and unusual punishment.

Honestly, you love him, but it's no more than he deserves after all this trouble.

### Suggestions Used

 _LostSock -_ Aradia and/or Jade: Dream. Meet someone interesting.

 _Amyda -_ Karkat: dream (might accomplish the same as above)

 _Amyda -_ Karkat: remember why you're here in the first place (I'm hoping maybe we'll learn about the big bad behind these shenanigans).

 _ttd0000 -_ Karkat: Tell Rose I-told-you-so next dream walk.

 _Sandi -_ Karkat: Tell Rose to get her own trance journal! How does she expect to get anything useful from her dream visions like this?

 _Ms Arano -_ Kanaya: Explain just what the Underdark is to Jade, who probably doesn't know much of anything about caves.

 _WhiteTiger1221 -_ Kanaya: Prepare for the trip into Golgesi. Trust that Terezi will find a way to help you, after all the two of you are the best bet in getting into the city safely. Remember everyone's life is in your hands, or in the hands of your friend.

 _TanukiKyle -_ Sollux: Thouroughly regret getting Drunk

 _GraveMonera -_ Sollux: Try to remember what you did last night

 _sionnachsSkulk -_ Sollux: be completely mortified over your behavior of the night previous and try to sulk in shame.

 _1JakoftheMoon1 -_ Kanaya: Brew Sollux something to help with his hangover, preferably before he breaks something.

 _MASK –_ kanaya: receive a letter from home.

 _edenfalling -_ Sollux: accidentally damage Terezi's message before Kanaya can read all the details of the proposed meeting.

 _Aryashi -_ Kanaya: Receive message and read it VERY VERY quickly. (Cause I saw the command edenfalling made. Mis-remembering is not only allowed, but encouraged)

 _SionnachsSkulk -_ Jade, Aradia, and Kanaya: Completely ruin Sollux's pity-party. Tickle his foot under the pretext of looking at his godmark.

 _TanukiKyle -_ Anyone: Apologise for Drunk Sollux

 _WhiteTiger1221 -_ Sollux: Apologise to the dwarfs for your drunken shenanigans

 _WhiteTiger1221 -_ Dwarves: Forgive Sollux and don't judge him on his shenanigans.

 _Ms Arano -_ Kanaya: Conspire Against Sollux's Wardrobe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **HELP WANTED!**  
>  **In the near future, I foresee a possible need to have Gunnar, Thyri, Lars, Bryn and Vidar statted out- but I do not have time to make five extra Pathfinder characters!  
> **  
>  If anyone is interested in making one or more crazy awesome dwarves for me, let me know either here or on Tumblr and I’ll pass you a character/class/level combo to work with. You can even request specific characters (on a first-come, first-served basis).  
> A similar process may also apply to Mohan.  
>  **PRE-EMPTIVE THANKS!**
> 
> Okay, done with that, so… when I wrote this chapter I was thinking “okay, Aradia’s a Dreamspun Bloodline Sorcerer, I can make her a third Dreamer without it being a stretch- and while I’m at it, I can clear out some of the more fiddling-about suggestions for her group, so that I don’t have to try and juggle them with action in the Deep Caverns…”
> 
> I TOTALLY FORGOT that the last chapter I did for this group was Aradia’s POV, and by the time I remembered this chapter was, well, written. I guess it was bound to happen sooner or later, though.
> 
> Just so you’re all aware: none of the other characters are likely to pick up the “Dreamer” title any time soon. That doesn’t mean they can’t have dream commands, just that any dream commands they have are likely to be filtered through the characters who are more active in that consciousness/realm. :)
> 
> EDIT:  
> Suggestions were moved from the top of the chapter, along with the following:
> 
>  **I Have Made… A DECISION!!! Dun dun DUUUN!**  
>  Okay, so I have been thinking, and I would like to share with you my thoughts.
> 
> At the end of Jake's chapter, something happened between Gamzee and Terezi. Quite a few people have expressed varying degrees of dismay at this happening, and I have had a couple of suggestions that could be used to "undo" the apparent event. I have been thinking very seriously about whether I am going to use those suggestions.
> 
> See, I was (maybe foolishly) not expecting the rather large wave of negative response to what I wrote, and since this story is suggestion driven I really have all the reasons I should need to make it so that what happened was something different than the obvious. Hell, I can even do it without writing out future black Gamzee/Terezi, just to satisfy my evil writing bugs. The options are infinite. It was a last-minute addition to the chapter, a whim of mine, a stray thought that somehow made its way into writing. There is no reason whatsoever why I shouldn't just make an about-face on this one and hold my hands up to it.
> 
> The fact that I have spent the last couple of weeks trying to persuade myself to do that is a pretty strong sign that actually, there is a reason not to. And after some serious examination of my feelings on the matter, I have concluded that the reason is: **I don't want to.** Whether or not what I wrote in the first place was a good choice or not (and I suspect "not" is the answer), my instincts are SCREAMING at me that to undo it now, to negate it, to take back what I threw down would be an abysmal decision. My writer-brain is telling me that I need to stick to my guns and run with my initial instinct, for better or worse.
> 
> So I am going to go with my gut, and remove the following suggestion from the list. All other related suggestions can, I think, be reappropriated for other purposes. Thank you to everyone for your enthusiasm and for making suggestions in the first place: I promise that I really did try to talk myself into this, but I just wasn't listening. And sometimes, you just gotta go with what feels right all up in where your heart's at, you know?
> 
>  _Sandi -_ Terezi: Come back from the secluded spot you sent the message from (if it makes flashy lights like the previous one, you do not want to draw attention to your current hiding place!) to find the moans coming from your refuge. Spot Karkat and Jake and decide to go tease them about thinking it was you.


	37. ==>  Jane: Fail Miserably In The Act Of Keeping Things Organized

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Hero point votes:**  
>  Karkat 1  
> Roxy 1  
> Aradia 1  
> Sollux 1  
> Kanaya 2

## ==> Jane: Fail Miserably In The Act Of Keeping Things Organized

Between the depth of the kobold caves and the heavy canopy of trees between you and the sky, there is no sunlight to greet you when you open your eyes. The firelit cavern is just the same as it was before you began your trance, from the dim flickering light dancing over cool, dry rock to the smell of woodsmoke and charred meat that fills the air. You glance over to where your aasimar companions are sleeping; they passed out hours before you and John, which isn’t really anything you can blame them for even if it did leave you alone with a tribe of nakking, glubbing lizards and a brother who’s even more easily bored than you are!

The pair of you took the opportunity to write a letter to your parents; you haven’t thought of a way to get it to them yet, but you were planning to ask Roxy when she woke up. From the way she’s sprawled across her bedroll, mouth open and drooling as she snores, you think it’ll be a while yet. An experimental prod tells you that John’s out cold too, and a small chuckle escapes you before you slap a hand over your mouth and check for witnesses. The cave echoes with the snores of the oblivious. You lower your hand and let the smile spread. If your silly billy of a brother is going to challenge you to a prank war then keep trancing after you’re up, he deserves everything he gets.

It doesn’t take long to gather together a reasonable pile of charcoal from the edges of the fires; you put it on a small, flattish stone and use a rock to squash it into a fine dust. The resulting powder is grainy and has little splinters of wood in it, but it ought to do for an opening volley. A couple of kobolds have woken up while you were working and have wandered over to get a closer look at what you’re doing; their blunt scaly heads come a little close to the charcoal dust and you gently shove them away, shushing them. It wouldn’t do at all to have all your hard work blown away before you succeed! Fortunately they seem to get the idea, backing off to a respectful distance as you carefully lift the stone.

You concentrate hard on keeping your balance as you crouch down in front of your trancing brother, raise the stone to head height, and blow on the dust. He lets out a little chuff of a sneeze as a thick black mist hits him square in the face, and you squat back on your heels to proudly examine the result. It’s nothing like you’d get with ink, of course, but it sure does look like something smoky went pop in his face!

The final step is both the simplest and the hardest, and although you don’t want to be arrogant you think it is the little touches that separate your pranks from the amateur fumblings of the everyday japester. You hold your breath and reach around John, shoulders almost but not quite touching as you unhook his waterskin from his pack. For an instant you freeze as he mumbles and shifts, his trance lightening, but he settles back into a cosy slump and you retreat with your prize. It takes about two minutes and a trip to the outer edges of the cave to empty out all the water and instead fill the skin with handfuls of pale dust. You test some on your tongue before you put it in and your guess is that he should be able to wash it out in the stream later, although it will be a pain. That's good. You want to make him look silly, not ruin his equipment.

By the time you creep back towards John you’ve gained quite a following of kobolds, some of whom are making a noise that you can’t help thinking of as a reptilian snicker. It seems that your new acquaintances are not opposed to a bit of tomfoolery, even when the target of the joke is the chosen hero of one of their gods. You smile as you carefully hook his waterskin back onto his pack, warming a little more to the strange lizards. You’ll admit to being skeptical at first, especially with all you’ve heard about kobolds in the past, but apart from that whole misunderstanding that ended with you bobbing upside down from a tree they’ve really been pretty decent to you.

You shush them again as you kneel down next to Roxy and gently shake her shoulder. Of all your companions, you think she's most likely to appreciate a good prank, even if she does have a crush on your brother. For a moment you don't think it's working- despite working at an inn, you're not that familiar with how sleep works- but then one pink eye cracks slowly open and she looks confused for a few long seconds before recognition sets in.

"Hey, Janey," she says, sitting upright in an almost artful state of dishevelment- you don't know if dishevelment is a word, but you're going to think it anyway- and looking at the kobolds around you in confusion. "Whassup?"

You put a finger to your lips and nod towards John. She follows where you indicate and her eyes go wide for a second before a sly smile spreads across her face. Two slim hands come up to cover her giggles, and then she scrambles out of her bedroll and shuffles over to where Dirk is lying. You avert your eyes with a blush when you realise that somehow in the midst of sleep she has managed to get her skirt rumpled up around her hips.

Actually, your own skirt has been something of a pain over the last day or so. You make a brief mental note to invest in a good sturdy pair of breeches at the next opportunity; perhaps a less cosmopolitan girl might be horrified at the thought, but you were raised in the Adventurer's Quarter of Porthaven. You're used to a much more pragmatic approach to clothing.

Your attention switches back to Roxy as she reaches her target and flops onto the floor next to his sleeping form. "Diiiirk," she whispers, shaking his shoulder. "C'mon, sexypants."

"I'm sleeping," says Dirk, not moving a muscle. You roll your eyes and smile. Although it was John who first introduced you, as part of his insistence at hanging out with Dave at every possible opportunity, you started to warm to Dirk more and more despite yourself as time went on. You don't think your brother has even noticed what a sense of humour he has, or how warm a person he can be. You're sure Dave doesn't know, but then in your experience Dave is just the kind of asshole who wouldn't understand his own brother. You don't know how John puts up with him.

As if your thinking of him was a signal, Dave yawns and sits up, appearing over his brother's side. "What's up, wizard chick?" he asks, running a hand through his sleep-mussed hair to get it out of his face. As he sits up there is a collective gasp from the kobolds, and you suddenly lose your followers in a sudden reptilian rush to get close to their favourite aasimar.

"Woah, okay!" Dave says, trying to scramble back from the advancing wall of nakking admirers. "I get it, I'm fucking irresistible, but it is way too early in the morning for me to be conscious, let alone give a repeat performance of last night's masterful show..."

Dirk sighs and starts patting about with a hand, fingers blindly searching the surrounding floor until they fall on his discarded mask and lift it to his face. You see him fastening it out of the corner of your eye, most of your attention still on the downright slapstick of Dave retreating from a small crowd of reverent worshippers.

"... seriously, guys, I know I am sex on legs, but none of you are my type and honestly, I think you'd all be much happier settling down with a nice nakking- or glubbing, I don't want to make any judgements here- spousal arrangement..."

His frantic scrambling carries him over the sleeping form of Rose just as Dirk sits up, mask in place. There is a squeak as the Oracle jerks upright, followed swiftly by a great deal of yelping and shouting as she slaps mercilessly at the black-clad thief who just fell over her lap and Dave shoves her back. Roxy falls over laughing, Dirk smirks, and unable to hold it any longer you start to giggle uncontrollably.

Another voice starts chuckling, and you look over to see that John's eyes have opened and he is enjoying your friends being goofballs just as much as you are. His face is still blackened from the charcoal dust, and you grin at the sight. He grins back, not realising he's the butt of the joke. Ha!

Rose is the first to notice; she stops shoving at Dave and blinks slowly, staring at John. Moments later Dave's head turns and he lets out a small snort, like a cut-off laugh. John looks between all of you, snickering and grinning and looking squarely at him, and raises a hand to his face.

The look when his fingers come away sooty is absolutely perfect and you wouldn't trade it for anything. He meets your gaze and narrows his eyes, smiling right back at you.

"If you think I won't get you back for this..." he says.

"Expecting it," you reply, folding your arms and raising your chin a little. He can try, and may even succeed, but you both know that Shit Just Got Real.

Then he reaches back to his pack, grabs his waterskin, and pours the contents over his face in an attempt to wash off the soot.

You make it out of the cave in record time, reassured by Dirk's promise to "hold him back" and the fact that Rose's shoulders were shaking in silent laughter. Outside it's still dim as if the world were caught between night and day, but you can catch glimpses of a bright sky between the heavy cover of leaves. The kobolds on guard duty leave you alone as you settle down on the ground to wait for your brother to calm down and wash the muck off his face with the water from Dave's waterskin. It might take a while; last you heard, Dave was asking what his waterskin was worth to John.

You sense someone close by and turn to see Roxy as she walks up and drops to the ground next to you. You smile at her and waggle a finger at Frigglish, who looks up from his place wrapped around her shoulders and bats at your moving digit. You try to pull it back, but too late; sharp claws score bloody lines in your skin.

"Ow!" You stick the finger in your mouth and glare at the familiar, who shows off the pink insides of a remarkably large mouth with a sizeable yawn.

"You shouldn't tease him, Janey," says Roxy, reaching up to pet her familiar. He purrs and pushes his face closer to her own. "I knowow he's a magical ana- anina- animormal, but he's a kitty too!"

"He's a little shit is what he is," you grumble, giving the creature a suspicious look. You don't know what his status as a familiar does, exactly, but you know Frigglish is smarter than the average moggy. And important to Roxy, you remind yourself, which is why you should really try not to be too antagonistic to him.

"Jaaane," your friend complains, cradling her cat's head protectively. You sigh and look away, staring back up at the fragments of sky that you can see.

"What do you suppose it is that the kobolds are so afraid of?" you ask your friend.

Roxy shrugs. "Dunno. But they're preedy cool li'l dudes and dudettes." She smiles, a beatific expression that lights up her whole face. "Don't wan' anythin' bad to happen to them."

You turn back and take careful scrutiny of her face. "Roxy," you say slowly, not quite sure if you believe the thought that's arriving in your head. "Are you drunk?"

Roxy hiccups. "Maaaybe?" You fold your arms and give her your very best disappointed look. You're good at the look; it came in handy back home whenever some idiot with a claymore decided to show off in the tap-room and got it lodged in a rafter. Roxy is no raging berserker, and predictably she caves. "Okay, fine," she admits. "I woke up inna early hours with a horrible stinking headache, an' I went out to Dirky's caravan to find a little bit of a medicinal drink."

"You wouldn't have a headache if you didn't keep having medicinal drinks," you point out. Roxy pouts.

"Aw, come on, Janey. 'Snot like I'm hurting anyones." She goes to fold her arms, and then curses when Frigglish jumps down from her shoulders. "Nonono! Come back! Good kitty!"

Frigglish, unimpressed by her pleas, runs off towards the nearest of the kobold guards, who lowers a spear at the familiar and looks deeply alarmed. You pull your knees up and rest your chin on them as Roxy starts to wave her hands about and gabble explanations in what you are fairly sure looks like some sort of spellcasting to the poor alarmed kobolds. They start to scatter and nak in panic.

"Now that is fucking scatterbrained."

You jerk around, surprised by Dave's voice, and the shock is replaced by confusion as you see him leaning half in the shadow on the other side of the cavemouth. Even in the poor light, you can tell that he's a bit more dressed than he was last time you saw him, and that he's carrying some sort of large sword slung over one shoulder.

"Did John get the muck off his face yet?" you ask. His masked face turns towards you- and even though it's just a strip of black cloth, you could swear there's something strange about it. Well, stranger than usual.

"Huh? Oh, yeah, that." He shrugs. "Almost, I think."

Something is definitely off, but you can't put your finger on what. You frown, studying him as he drums a rhythm on the side of the cave with his fingers. He seems restless, which is itself odd because you don't remember Dave ever willingly display anything.

"Can I help you?" you ask, and immediately kick yourself for sounding like a complete fool. Can you help him, indeed! But judging by the sudden flash of a smile he gives you, it was the right question.

"Sure," he says, and takes a step closer. You frown, trying to work out what about his clothes is bugging you so much and failing as he crouches down beside you and holds out the hilt of a sword. The weapon quickly draws your attention, because it's so damned big; you've seen hand-and-a-half swords before, of course, but not in Dave's hands and you wonder where he got it from.

"Think you can hang onto this for a minute?" he asks. You examine the sword, note the quality of the tight leather bindings on the handle and the faint bumps of what might once have been decorative markings, the gleam of light along the copper-tinted blade. It's a fine weapon.

"Did you steal this?" you ask, and to your utter astonishment Dave grins.

"Nah, shit was a present from a friend," he says. "Make sure you give it to me, okay? It is like, more fucking important than you can possibly imagine that you pass me this in the next few minutes. I'm not even being ironic right now; I am one hundred percent sincere in every possible way."

You shake your head in disbelief. "Why am I holding this, again?" you ask, but Dave just gets to his feet and gives you a jaunty salute.

"Until we meet again, fair maid," he says, walking backwards into the caves. You're about to jump up and chase after him when you are distracted by the sound of a yowling cat and glass clinking. Looking round, you see that Roxy has decided that the best way to save her familiar from the kobolds is to trade him for the remainder of the booze she stole from Dirk's caravan. Sighing, you head towards your best girlfriend to try and save the guards from their drunken fate, although you suspect the time for such intervention is long past.

"You know, if something terrible is coming, I don't think it's the best idea to give these little guys alcohol," you say. Roxy waves a finger- and by extension a bottle- in your direction.

"Janey, I am dishuponded," she says. "Disappeared. Disappointed. In you." She hoists her newly-retrieved familiar with one hand and takes a swing with the other. "I am making FRIENDS!"

"You are making a racket," you tell her, getting behind her and sticking your free hand between her shoulderblades. With an apologetic glance to the kobolds, who are indeed gathering curiously around Roxy's gift, you begin to propel her towards the cave entrance. "Come on, let's get some breakfast in you. Maybe that'll soak up some of the drink!"

Roxy puts up some token protest, but you think that she's just fishing for some attention. You suspect she does that a lot. It must be difficult, being the less revered and less divinely gifted twin sister of the famous Oracle of Light. Difficult enough to excuse a few personality quirks, at least, although probably not enough to cover incoherent and rascally drunkenness at a time of grave peril.

You get back to the central cavern to find Dirk and John cooking again; the smell is atrocious, and you make another mental note to do the cooking in future before they can get their hands on it. Neither of them alone would be so bad- John you know from experience tends to get experimental with food, and from what you know of Dirk he's actually a moderately competent cook when he cares to be- but the two of them seem to have been egging each other on to create some sort of unholy culinary monstrosity.

Like most of the kobolds, Rose and Dave are sitting a little way back from the noxious fumes of the cooking, and you do a double-take when you see that Dave is stripped down to the same shirt-and-breeches combo he slept in.

"Did you seriously put your armour on just to come outside and talk to me?" you ask him, dropping down next to him and laying the unwieldy sword on the floor between you. Everyone but Roxy gives you a strange look.

"Dave has been in here the entire time," Rose says, slowly, as if you are a confused child. You purse your lips.

"No, he was just outside, talking to me!" you say. "Roxy, tell her!"

Roxy, who is lying on the ground and swooping a seriously unimpressed Frigglish around in the air, rolls her head over to face the three of you. "Yuh-huh!" she says, which is about as much backup as you're expecting from her at this point. Hells, for all you know, she really didn't see Dave, as occupied as she was with trying to give alcohol to impressionable sophonts.

"Sorry to break it to you, sweetheart, but I ain't been anywhere," Dave says. He tilts his head to rest it on your shoulder. "Nice to know you missed me, though; next time just ask, and I'll give you a keepsake. Maybe a lock of hair. You can have a lock of golden hair to take with you to the privy, stop you from missing this awesome swag of mine. I'll sign it. Wait, shit, need a pen for that. Does anyone have a really tiny pen?"

You harrumph and shove him off you. “Well, buster, if you weren’t outside who gave me this?” You tap the bastard sword with your toe. Dirk’s head snaps around, and he gives you an inscrutable look from behind his ornate mask.

“You mean you didn’t swipe it from our kleptomaniac hosts?” he asks. You shake your head and point at Dave.

“No! Like I said, he came outside and asked me to hold it for a couple of minutes!” You give him a sidelong glare. “Actually, I thought he was the one who’d been swiping things.”

Dave shakes his head. “Not me, sorry. Think I’d remember a sweet-ass piece of kit like this.” He reaches out and runs reverent fingers along the smooth metal of the blade. “You saying I can have this?”

You narrow your eyes at him, then look at John, then back at Dave. You think you have a good idea of what is going on here.

“Well, of course you can have it, dummy, it’s your sword!” You look back around at your brother and smirk. “Don’t think you’re going to fool me with this prank. I’m on to you, John Warden!”

John shakes his head and does a relatively good job of looking innocent. “It’s not a prank! He didn’t leave here, Jane, honest!”

“Hoo hoo hoo! Like I’m going to fall for something so obvious,” you say, folding your arms and feeling pretty smug because really, if this silliness is the best he can muster you’ve already won this prank war. John opens his mouth to object, but you notice Rose shake her head and raise a warning finger, and he stays silent. You’re surprised the Oracle was willing to go along with this at all, to be honest.

Dave isn’t paying any attention at all, though; he’s grabbed the hilt of the large sword and is examining it with what looks like a smile.

“It’s a piece of shit,” says Dirk, from beside the fire. “Not a cheap one, for once, but metallurgically speaking I wouldn’t use that blade to hit a piece of soft cheese.” He smirks. “Could’ve been made for you, bro.”

Dave shoots him a muted glare, then hauls the weapon into his lap. “Shoosh, baby,” he says, pointedly talking to the sword rather than his brother. “Don’t listen to him, he’s hella jealous of your beauty. You and me, we’re gonna be the dream team; gonna get ourselves married, nice little ceremony, maybe have us a few daggers.”

Dirk tilts his head to look at Dave from another angle. “I hope that you and your dick are very happy with your sharp-edged bride,” he says, deadpan.

“The fucking happiest,” Dave says, smug as ever.

“Do you even know how to use a bastard sword?”

Dave ignores his brother and keeps caressing the weapon. You sigh and wander over to the cook-pot; John grins up at you as you examine his efforts.

“It’ll be a little while yet,” he tells you. You nod and glance around at the kobolds.

“I’m going to see if I can learn anything,” you tell him. Your brother nods; he knows that even with a language barrier, you are the best at investigating. It is you.

It doesn’t take too long to find the war leader from last night; he’s sitting perched on a rock a little ways back, watching your companions in an almost birdlike fashion. His head turns to track you as you approach, and realising how wary he seems you settle down a few feet away and wait for him to speak first.

You’re not there long. “What you wanting?” he asks, after only a minute or so. Inwardly, you smile. Kobolds really aren’t that different from Porthaven citizens!

“I was hoping you could help me,” you say, doing your best to make it sound like you really need him. He puffs up a little and you continue. “I had some questions about what we’re doing here.”

He regards you haughtily for a few long seconds, then nods once sharply. “You ask.”

“Okay,” you say. “Firstly, I was wondering about exactly what it is that you’re so worried about. You wanted us to deal with- the tree-men, was it?”

The kobold nods. “Yes, yes. Tree-men come at the Hunting Time, kill Kobolds. Much sadness in the clans. Nak!”

“Okay.” You think about this for a second. “Firstly, I suppose, I want to know who the tree-men are, and why they hunt you.”

The kobold shrugs. “Tree-men are tree-men, nak nak. Hunt kobolds because of Green Moon.”

You sigh. Damned language barrier! “I’m sorry, I don’t understand. Can you please explain?”

The kobold frowns. “Green Moon is the home of the Huntress, nak? Tree-men are hers, her people, like kobolds children of the Dragon’s Daughter. Always they are liking to hunt, nakka nak. Once a time, in the longbefore, the clans here get too big, bring harm to the children of the Huntress. Now she tell them, go to stalk, to hunt, to kill before kobolds too many!” He waves his arms and naks a little.

You have to fight down a feeling of bile. “It’s… a cull?”

“Kill, yes, nak.” He grins at you toothily. “But we kill back, nakka! Traps in the forest, all from where the tree-men are! Kobolds smart now, being lucky, have heroes to help! You kill-cull all tree-men and kobolds be safe, nak!”

Now you definitely feel sick, and there’s a nagging feeling in the back of your head that you’ve heard something about the Huntress and the people of the Green Moon before. “I’m, uh, not so sure that killing everyone is the answer,” you say. You’re trying to be diplomatic, but the war leader looks crestfallen- literally, the crest on his head droops.

“You not help clans?” he asks, eyes narrowing and hand reaching back for his spear.

“No, we’ll help!” You wave your hands, hastening to reassure him. “Just- we need to help our way, okay? So you need to tell me about the tree-men.”

He nods again, mollified. “Tree-men small, like kobold,” he says. “Much smaller than heroes, nak! But not looking like kobold. Looking like tree.” He frowns, thoughtful. “Tree-men live close to Far Forest, nak? But trade with the Hidden Ones.” He shudders. “Hidden Ones not liking kobolds, nak. Make traps, all smart like kobold-kind.”

You nod, inwardly breathing a sigh of relief. “Okay, so maybe a good place to start would be with the Hidden Ones.” You smile at the kobold. “How do we find them?”

He smiles back, a savage expression. “Follow sun in morning, until crossing to the pale forest,” he says. “River runs by the ruins, one day in the walking, but kobold not go further, nak. Hidden Ones do not like to see kobold, and strike from hiding.” He tilts his head. “Heroes kill Hidden Ones too? That good for kobold! Clan can grow, live in pale forest ruins!”

You smile uncomfortably at him and hope that his bloodthirstiness has more to do with his being war leader than any sort of inherent kobold nature. “Well, thank-you, Mister…?”

The kobold lets out a string of nakking sounds that you presume to be his name. Most of them mean nothing whatsoever to you.

“Okay, Mister- Nakkonik,” you say, latching onto the only syllables you remember. “The other question I had was about how you found us. You say a Golden Elf told you we were coming?”

The war leader nods enthusiastically. “Yes! Nak! Golden Elf!”

“Can you tell me about him?”

The war leader waves his arms. “Golden Elf come find clan; we try to capture for eats, but he too strong! We think maybe he here to kill kobolds, so we offer him praises, but he not want! Nak.” He shrugs. “Golden Elf say he here for message, say heroes coming, marked by Skydancer and Tick-Tock Man. Says the gods will help us.”

“Did he say how he knew we were coming?” you ask, trying to calculate. You don’t think anyone knew you were coming this way- not even you yourselves did, until yesterday!

The kobold shakes his head. “No, nak. He just know.” He pauses, looks around, leans in closer to whisper; “Golden Elf smell like Shaman.”

You realise there is really no more you can get out of Nakkonik. It doesn’t sound as if the Golden Elf, whoever he was, chose to be particularly forthcoming. You nonetheless make a note to keep an ear to the ground for similar such news in future.

“What did he look like?” you ask. The war leader shrugs.

“Elf. Golden. Nak.”

You really should have seen that coming. The kobolds certainly seem to have a literalist streak to their naming conventions.

“Thank you for your time,” you tell Nakkonik, and you mean it. Perhaps a lesser investigator would be frustrated by the scarcity of information, but your apprenticeship with the Porthaven watch has taught you that witnesses are rarely as helpful as you would like. At least the kobold war leader was trying to help.

You have to pass a small crowd of kobolds to rejoin the rest of your group, and you note with a resigned sigh that several of them have now acquired bottles of alcohol, swaying and squabbling in a tipsy fashion. When you make it through the crowd you find a bowl of food waiting for you, a wooden spoon protruding from the contents; everyone else seems to have finished eating, so you pick it up and prod the substance. It is greyish with black bits, smells downright disturbing, and if it made a sound you think it would go “gloop”.

“We saved some for you," John says, beaming.

"Uh... thanks," you say, poking at your breakfast in the hopes that it somehow magically improves. It doesn't.

"So did you learn anything?" your brother asks, scooting a little closer. "Do we know who's hunting them yet?"

“Sort of,” you reply, glad for the excuse to put off eating despite your rumbling stomach. “Apparently whoever these tree-men are, they perform some sort of regular cull of the poor kobolds! It sounds like some sort of religious or revenge thing, though- I think our best bet is to start by contacting their trade partners- the Hidden Ones- and seeing what information we can gather. I have directions.” You glance over Rose, who is using a flattish stretch of ground as a desk to make notes on a piece of parchment. You try to see what she's writing, but fail to make out the meaning of the tightly-packed script. “What is that?”

Rose looks up at you, surprised, then back down at her parchment. “A dream journal,” she says. “I woke this morning with a distinct impression of needing to start one. Unfortunately, your dear brother-" she casts a brief glare at John- "decided to substitute my waterskin for his own in order to undo the damage from your prank, and the ensuing scuffle was sufficient to distract my mind from the effort of recalling my dream." She frowns at her dense scribbles. "It is quite frustrating, actually. I have never known myself to have prophetic or divinatory dreams before without the assistance of the Church, but given the circumstances I feel I must accept the possibility that I am receiving important information as I rest and promptly forgetting it as I waken. As it is, I only recall a few fragments of last night's revelations, and nothing that I would consider useful at the present time." She looks back at you and raises an eyebrow. “How far is it to these Hidden Ones?”

“Oh!" You are taken aback for a second by the abrupt shift of subject matter. "About a day’s travel?” You glance around at Dirk, who is sat by the fire helping Dave examine his greatsword. “It sounds as though the terrain might be rough, though, which means we would have to leave the caravan behind.”

Dirk’s head snaps around. “Woah, hold up. You want me to leave Maplehoof to the tender mercies of this lot?” He jerks a thumb over his shoulder at the gathered kobolds, who all scatter back a step at the gesture.

“Well, if we have to do it, then we have to do it,” John says. He’s got a small yellow-scaled kobold in his lap and you think it might be the same one he was playing with last night.

“You know you can’t keep her, right?” you say to your brother, grinning to show that it’s a joke.

John pretends to be horrified and hugs the kobold child close to his chest. “Of course I can! In fact, I’m adopting her! Casey is now officially my daughter.” He turns the rather dopey-looking lizard around to face you. “Casey, say hi to Auntie Jane!” The kobold glubs happily and joins in when John lifts her wrist to make her wave to you.

“That makes her mom your wife,” says Dave, without looking around. “Congrats, dude, you married a lizard. Your parents will be so proud.”

“Don’t be such a species-bigot,” John says, still cuddling his “daughter”. Dave turns to stare at him.

“Dude, I’m an aasimar Phooka. I don’t give a shit if you choose to marry a gelatinous cube, as long as I don’t have to host the wedding or come within ten feet of the enormous all-consuming bride.”

“You know, hilarious as this is,” Dirk says, “I think there’s a point that needs considering here.” He pauses to be sure you’re all looking at him. “Do we really want to help these guys?”

There is a gasp from the floor as Roxy levers her head up. “Dirk! You takesh that’s back! The kobobolds are adorable and precious and we’re gonna save them!”

“Yeah, Dirk, how can you resist this face?” John demands, putting one hand on each of Casey’s cheeks and smooshing them. She glubs. “Look at that adorable little lizardly bubbling!”

Dirk sighs. “Okay, so you think they’re cute, but let’s not forget these are the people who tried to ask for help by kidnapping us. I mean, has anyone here ever heard a story about kobolds where they weren’t sneaky, underhanded, and bad news? Anyone?”

An uncomfortable silence falls across the group. “Maybe it’s just a bad reputation,” John offers.

“Or maybe it’s not smart to trust people who count the Knight of Blood and the Seer of Mind amongst their gods,” Dirk counters. “Look, I know we’re all for saving them now, but what if we find the people out to get them have a good reason? What if the kobolds were eating their eggs, or enslaving their hatchlings? We’re supposed to be the last thing standing between the world and disaster- do we even have time to do this?”

Slowly, you set your bowl of untouched food down with a clatter. “Dirk,” you say calmly. “Shut the hell up. These people asked for our help- they begged for it! And if we don’t do something, then one way or another, people are going to die.” You fold your arms. “I’m not saying it will be easy, or even what we expect, but if we can’t do the right thing here then I don’t think we’re going to be much use at saving the world at all!”

John bursts into applause and Roxy yells “hear, hear,” from the floor, but what really warms you is the small smile that graces Dirk’s lips as he nods, once, in agreement. He’s a son of a bitch and a thief and a liar- but if he’s willing to test your resolve before you get in too deep, you think maybe you can trust him to watch your back.

Your stomach grumbles, and with a sigh you retrieve your bowl, prodding again at your breakfast in the hope that it has somehow changed.

“Come on, Jane, got to keep your strength up!” John says. Something about his tone sounds a little too sunny and bright, and you look up into a grin that has Prankster’s Gambit written all over it. Quickly, you look around, catching sight of the hitherto unseen fragments of paper hidden under bedrolls or shoved in the corner of the fire. Wrapping from trail rations, enough for everyone but you.

“Oh, you utter bastard!” You shake your spoon at John. "You beggared about with my breakfast!"

John shrugs. "Pfft, it's not like you need it," he says, snickering and making circular gestures around his waist with his hands.

You narrow your eyes. "Did you just call me fat, John Warden?"

Your brother shrugs. "If the cap fits..."

"Oh, you butthead!" You shift your grip on the bowl, glaring. "You want to call this muck food, YOU EAT IT!"

John ducks as you fling your intended breakfast towards him, and the nasty goop hits Rose squarely in the side of the head. Roxy breaks into peals of laughter as her sister scrapes grey globs off the side of her face; you look on in horror as an evil glint enters the Oracle’s eye.

“That was an atrocious shot,” she says, pointedly ignoring Dave and Dirk as they try to hide their sniggering behind their hands. “Here, allow me to demonstrate a better technique.”

A handful of gross gloop hits you in the collar, a few cold slimy runnels immediately making tracks down into your shirt. Deciding to blame the true instigator of this chaos you dive on John; Casey makes a break for it as you wrestle him into a headlock for an epic noogie, but your brother is both strong and wriggly and manages to get half out from under you. You’re just trying to recapture him in a proper armlock, like the ones you were taught by your instructors in the Watch, when someone pinches your buttocks.

You freeze, allowing John to escape, then slowly turn to see Roxy crouching behind you and rapidly turning red.

“I throught, I men, mean thought, that it was John’s rear,” she says, pointing at your brother. “Hiss got a ver’ very nice ass an’ I thought maybe if I could touch it, I might stop tryin’ to figure out what it feels like!” She looks past you to wink at John. “Heeey, sailor,” she says, giggling.

“Is that supposed to make it better?” you wail. Roxy reaches out to give you an awkward pat on the shoulder.

“There, theres,” she says, muzzily. “If you really want I can make out with you!”

“I DON’T WANT TO MAKE OUT WITH YOU!”

Roxy puts a finger on your lips and by now you’re as red as she is, and everyone is laughing- even Rose!

“Shh,” she says, smiling beatifically. “Love you, Janey. All the love I got in me.”

Oh. Okay. Your heart goes kind of goopy, kind of like the disgusting muck John tried to feed you, and you grab your confused, drunken wizard best friend into a warm hug because she is the sweetest thing even when she drives you up the wall.

It is at that exact point that John chooses to yank your skirt down far enough for everyone to see exactly where your godmark is located, and although you hide your buttocks again in a hurry you are determined that for this, he will most assuredly pay.

### Suggestions Used

 _1JakoftheMoon1 -_ Jane: Haven't listened to you in a while. What do you think of this sudden twist?

 _WhiteTiger1221 -_ Jane: Lighten up, seriously, just have some fun. But remember other than Rose you're the responsible one of this party, so try to keep things organised.

 _WhiteTiger1221 -_ John and Jane: Let the Prank-war commence!!!!!! Involve Rose in it, possibly accidentally.

 _WhiteTiger1221 -_ Dave: Become highly regarded among the kobolds after that performance of yours.

 _LostSock -_ Jane: Pass the time via some 'BFFsie-5ever-bonding' with Roxy.

 _LostSock -_ Dave: Appear to be in two places at once. Cause much confusion.

 _Antartique -_ Future Dave/Aradia: Show up, be cryptic, complete stable time loop. This is your job.

 _WhiteTiger1221 -_ Roxy: Prevent Friggilish from harassing the Kobolds.

 _Btchplease -_ Roxy: Get the lizards dudes drunk.

 _RandomGal -_ Jane: Watch Roxy's shenanigans. What do you think of this?

 _WhiteTiger1221 -_ Jane: Be disgusted at the un-nutritious and frankly unhealthy meal your brother and friend have concocted. Take it upon yourself to cook the meals for the remainder of the journey, you're not going to be forced to stomach John's attempts at cooking again if you can help it.

 _ttd0000 -_ Dave: Find LPOTS, leave it behind.

 _Antartique –_ Dave: Acquire relatively good sword

 _Ms Arano -_ Jane: Be competent and useful, show that you're serious about this quest too!

 _Ms Arano -_ Jane: Gather information from the kobolds about what happens when the green moon is full.

 _ttd0000 -_ Jane: Investigate identity of "Golden Elf" without destroying fragile truce.

 _Ms Arano -_ John: Inquire about just what is hunting the Kobolds.

 _nanrea -_ Rose: dream of the knight of Blood again, but this time remember something from it when you wake up, but not anything particularly useful.

 _Ephemeral_Dreamer -_ Rose: almost remember your dream but get distracted by Roxy and/or John...

 _MASK -_ Rose: learn to write shit down when you wake from your visions. seriously, go procure some writing utensils and a medium and carry them with you. perhaps keep a journal of them (what no why would you think im pushing for a rose/terezi diary-swap thats just silly). i say terezi as she is currently in possession of it.

 _ttd0000 -_ Rose: seriously, get a dream journal, you're a seer, how do you not have one yet.

 _Woe Kitten -_ Rose: Try to remember what the glub you just dreamed about. Again.

 _Ms Arano -_ Rose: Wonder at the urge to obtain a journal, post haste.

 _LostSock -_ John: Resist the urge to outright adopt the newly-named Casey. (Optional: Fail to resist the urge.)

 _Btchplease -_ Dirk, be an asshole

 _WhiteTiger1221 -_ Dirk: Complain that you're under no obligations to help any Kobolds and how this is a waste of time from saving the world. Help out anyway.

 _WhiteTiger1221 -_ Everyone: Become friends with Kobolds. 

_sionnachsSkulk -_ Jane: Have it insinuated that you are fat. Exact justice with prejudice. EXTREME prejudice.

 _MASK –_ Roxy: stop staring at john's butt (you're trying, you /really/are)

 _WhiteTiger1221 -_ Roxy: Cheer Jane up, she's being such a spoilsport.

 _WhiteTiger1221 -_ Jane: Fail miserably in the act of keeping things organised.

 _WhiteTiger1221 -_ Roxy: Cause Jane's failure.

 _Antartique -_ Jane: Be hit on by Roxy.

 _Btchplease -_ Roxy, grab Jane's ass by accident (you were aiming for John, but he dodged)

 _edenfalling -_ Jane: so just where IS your godmark exactly?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **THANKS TO MASK AND EPHEMERAL_DREAMER FOR MAKING A BUNCH OF DWARVES! YOU GUYS RULE!**
> 
> EDIT: Fanart for this chapter!  
> [Jane: Fail miserably in the act of keeping things organized](http://25.media.tumblr.com/fba800971920bf92a38d35a359861f19/tumblr_mjwi1o4zyF1ref2d3o1_1280.jpg) by [mad-phlegmatic](http://mad-phlegmatic.tumblr.com/) ([original Tumblr post](http://mad-phlegmatic.tumblr.com/post/45745856877/jane-fail-miserably-in-the-act-of-keeping-things)).


	38. ==> Karkat: Take Out Your Frustration On Someone Who Deserves It

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Hero point votes:**  
>  Karkat 1  
> Roxy 1  
> Aradia 1  
> Sollux 2  
> Kanaya 2  
> Jane 2

## ==> Karkat: Take Out Your Frustration On Someone Who Deserves It

The second you say Aradia's name, you are booted out of your trance faster than an urchin in an upmarket tavern. Your eyes fly open and the first sight you see is Terezi's face about three inches away from yours. You do what any sensible kid raised in the Shanties would do under these circumstances and flip the fuck out.

Your first instinct is to headbutt the threat, but several dozen pounds of muscle-corded lawkeeper pinning your limbs mean that you can't get the leverage and your head just sort of gently bumps into hers. She grins and you screech, bucking for a fraction of an inch of space then tugging all your limbs inwards at once. Maybe you're skinnier than she thought, or maybe you have too much experience of twisting your way out of unwanted grips- either way, her purchase slips, and you shoot out from under her before the crazy bitch can think about trying to reclaim it.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU!?!" you scream, crouching flattened against a wall of rough plates and not really giving a shit who might be paying attention right now because seriously, _what the fuck is wrong with her?_

The frothing madwoman doesn't even look put out; she just chuckles and keeps on smirking at you like a mindless asshole. "Any interesting trance visions this time?" she asks.

You blink and breathe, trying to calm your still-racing heart. "Visions?" you repeat dumbly, ignoring the curious "Mph?" from Jake as he raises his head from under the blanket the two of you dropped into trancing under last night. He's a tousled mess of stupidly attractive confusion and you are not even going to try and process that right now because you just got woken up by a lawkeeper who seems determined to give you a fucking panic attack because she wants to know whatever dumb shit you saw while you were trancing and _oh fuck._

"Journal!" you yell, diving forwards and grabbing the sturdy leather pack she's got slung over her shoulder. "It's in here, right? Tell me it's fucking in here..."

Oh, holy hells, what are you going to do if she left it back in the Kutsanmis manor? Nonono, don't think that, not your journal, because fuck the godsdamned visions- it's the only thing you have that's even remotely close to being your mother's, and you know it's stupid but sometimes when you look at it you think about the smile she used to get when she told you that you weren't cursed, you were special, and right now you need it because you can already feel the memories of your vision trying to fade from your mind and this shit is important and you _can't fucking forget again._

"It's right here," says Terezi, pulling a familiar stained, battered book out from one of the side pockets and holding it out to you. You snatch it out of her hands and scuttle back to your nice safe wall, fumbling in your belt pouch for a stick of charcoal and flicking to a cleanish page to start scrawling down everything you remember.

"You saw something, didn't you?" Terezi says, trying to crawl closer. You glance up just long enough to glare at her and shuffle round to put your knees between her and your precious journal.

"Fuck off," you say, and go back to scribbling. Shit, shit, shit, what was it you said? Something about reincarnation and memory and retreating... you remember being pissed off, really fucking frustrated with someone other than just your memory-impaired waking self...

_...dumbest piece of shit I have ever had the displeasure of being..._

... you'd met her before and you were in a foul mood because you had something critically important to tell her but you knew she wasn't going to remember it when she woke up...

_...axis of the fucking cosmos. It was invaded..._

... did you really say you were a god? You pause for a second, look at the smudged writing you just added to the journal.

_I'm the Knight of Blood. You're the Seer of Light._

You look up from your book to see Terezi less than a foot away, staring at you from behind red-tinted eyeglasses and surrounded by an aura of expectation. Behind her, Jake is looking between the two of you in utter confusion, and behind him you can see more than a few Shanties' residents taking an interest in your noisy public drama. Good entertainment can be hard to come by, after all.

Okay. In your visions, you are apparently sharing the thoughts of a god. And he hates you. That really explains a lot about your whole life. You suddenly feel far too tired to give a shit about any of this; the journal drops out of your hands and lands with a smack on the ground as you let your head drop onto your knees. You don’t know what time it is now or how long you were trancing for but you and the sunwalker were awake for quite some time last night, not really talking but just sort of sharing the same awkward, exhausted-but-can’t-sleep-because-asshole-friends-are-having-sex-right-next-to-us silence. For a weird, over-enthusiastic idiot you suppose he’s not so bad, even if it did take far too long for him to stop trying to start really fucking uncomfortable conversations about what your dipshit of a soul-brother was doing. If it really came down to it- if your back was to the wall and you absolutely had to say it, no fucking choice in the matter- you suppose you could say that you like the guy. More than you like anyone else in all the planes of existence right now, anyway.

Terezi tries to grab your journal. You kick her in the arm and use your other foot to tuck the scruffy tome back under your legs; you’re in no mood for her beetleshit right now.

“So, is that how it usually goes?” Jake asks. You raise your head to look at him, eager and fresh as a fucking turd. “The whole visions thing, I mean. You come out of trance and then just write them all down?”

You scowl and fish the journal out from under you, tucking it safely into your shirt. “Pretty much,” you tell him, because annoying as he is you don’t really want to push away the one person who you don’t directly and personally hate at the moment. “Although usually I don’t find cocky fuckasses sitting on me so they can slobber all over my face like a starving dog and demand that I start barking on command.”

Terezi shrugs, smirking and unrepentant. “I was up early, and you were still trancing when I finished my prayers. Can you really blame me if I want to get a closer look at your delectable cherry eyes?”

 _What, one compliant fucktoy wasn’t enough for you?_ You bite back the response seconds before it spills out of your mouth. Doesn’t matter what your journal has to say on the matter, you’ve only really known her for a few hours over the course of the last couple of days, and most of that time was spent on escape and survival plans. You can’t blame her for taking the easy lay when she’s had a lifetime of being given whatever she wants on a silver platter and you can’t blame Gamzee for being the easy lay when he’s never been any fucking thing else for all the years you’ve known him. After all the panic and danger yesterday they probably both needed to unwind. Really, you should just be glad she grabbed Gamzee to find some relief instead of you, because between the visions and the journal and the explosive chaos of your acquaintance you still don’t know exactly how you feel about her and unlike some asshole sluts you happen to know you believe that spreading your legs for people you just met isn’t something you should do to pass the time.

It still feels like they both stabbed you in the back and twisted the knives, and you _don’t know why._

Your silence stretches out too long, and Terezi seems to sense that something is amiss because her mouth twists into an uncertain line. "Karkat..." she starts.

It is at this point that the person you probably want to talk to least in the entire world decides to emerge from the pseudo-alley he slept in. Bitterness and concern swirl around together in your gut as you look at Gamzee, stumbling out into the dirt street and looking like shit in the dim glow of Jake's alchemical light. He slumps down next to you and rests his head on your shoulder like he didn't spend last night ripping your heart out of your chest and consuming its raw, bloody, still-beating remains.

Fair or not, you're not putting up with his shit this morning. You shrug your shoulders and his head bounces. "Get the fuck off, asspirate," you snap. Gamzee groans like a dying man and makes little pawing motions at your now-muddied shiny mithral armour; you slap his hand away. "Find your own crap," you tell him. "I'm not in the mood for this." There's a glint of purple as he looks up at you through white tangles of hair, then he drops backwards with a grunt and crawls on his belly to where his pack is leaning against a wall. You turn away from him and see Terezi and Jake watching, the former with distaste and the second with a sort of horrified confusion.

"Is he, ah, quite alright?" Jake asks. You roll your eyes.

"No," you say, because he's not and never has been. "But who gives a shit?" There's some rustling from behind you and you don't have to look to imagine, because you've seen it before; trancing cleans the crap right out of Gamzee's head and replaces it with visions of blood and terror and madness. The first thing he wants when he comes out of it is always Pesh, and if Jake hadn't tranced clean through it yesterday this particular display of pathetic need wouldn't be anything new or special to him.

Terezi looks, if anything, more perturbed. “We need to talk…”

“No we fucking don’t.”

“… about what we’re going to do next,” she finishes. You flush with embarrassment. Great fucking move, Karkat. Way to hide what’s going on in your head. Jake’s head might as well be on a pivot with how fast it’s swivelling between the two of you.

"That's, uhm, a bloody good point," he says eventually, when your glare makes it apparent that you're not willing to elaborate on any other potential points of relevance in the next few eons. "We should really consider our course from here."

"What's to consider?" you ask, ignoring the guurk guurk noises Gamzee is making behind you and facing the sunwalker because his face doesn't make you want to punch things very much. "We get up, we walk out of the Shanties and into the tunnels of horrific aberrant death, and then assuming we can avoid all the soulless, ravenous monsters we get the meeting the sisters of the glorious fucking revolution set up."

The look Terezi and Jake share is enough to make you want to shake both of them. "We can't just walk into the Deep Caverns unprepared," Terezi says. "Not unless you want to provide those soulless, ravenous monsters a very easy meal."

"I did fucking prepare!" you hiss, glancing around at the people around you and wondering how many are eavesdropping. "I bought a godsdamned map and enough food for half the fucking Shanties!"

"And that's a good start," Jake says in a false-cheerful way that makes your eye twitch. "But, well, I've been in the caves, and I don't think you realise just how dashed chilly it can get out there." He plucks at the thin silk of his tunic, identical to the one you're wearing. "It's surprisingly warm in this city of yours. We'd freeze if we went out there dressed in this tomfoolery!"

"Then there's the length of the journey to consider," Terezi adds. "Jake got here from the Dwarfhold in less than two days, but he was wandering for hours and did the last stretch by cart on the Dragon Roads. We should be prepared for at least ten days in the mountains, to be safe." She smirks. "No matter how incredible we were yesterday, we're going to have to be better."

"Okay, I get it!" You fold your arms and scowl at them both. You're not sulking and you're definitely not peeved because they're right. "So what do we do?"

The pair of them share another look, and you fight the urge to grab Terezi by the collar and scream in her face _why don't you just take the fucking shirt off my back while you're at it._ The risk that she might take you up on that offer is a little too real for your liking.

"We need to take an inventory, work out what we need and what we can get rid of," Jake says. You nod and unfold, grabbing your pack with one hand and Gamzee's collar with the other. You manage to drag him about three steps stumbling along behind you before Jake steps unto your way.

"What the blazes are you doing?" he asks. You look back at Gamzee, who has slumped right back onto the floor, then back at the sunwalker.

"If we're going to dump all our worldly possessions out onto the floor and argue about how much they're worth, then we're doing it out of sight," you tell him. "And this idiot just started digesting Pesh. He's not going anywhere under his own steam for a while yet."

Jake looks around at the street, and you can actually see the moment where he notices not only the people all around you but the weapons they're carrying. "Oh..." he says. "Well, in that case, I suppose... but out of sight where?"

You sigh and tilt your head to the narrow alcove you were planning to rest in before Gamzee and Terezi decided to defile it. "Guess."

He looks about as keen as you feel, but doesn't object further when you half-lead, half-drag Gamzee back down the filthy gap between two shacks and dump his stoned ass down on a pile of rags. You end up sitting next to him when Terezi and Jake join you, the four of you rammed in tight and huddled close around the glowing stick that Jake rests between you.

"Right, we keep this quiet, okay?" you whisper. "Because we do not want to be overheard, because having ones throat slit often fucking offends." Terezi just nods, but you swear Jake looks even paler. Gamzee of course just mumbles and turns his face into the rag-pile. The moron is going to catch something if he's not careful, not that you care right now. Not that there's any reason for you to not care right now.

To distract yourself from the ever-tighter circles your thoughts keep spinning in, you volunteer to go first by emptying your pack in front of everyone. After some whispered debate, you decide to start sorting everything into two piles- "keep" and "sell". Terezi and Jake tried to push for a "throw away" pile, but you pointed out that there's no such thing around here. Most of your stuff ends up in "keep". Jake's pack and satchel provide an interesting trove; he's still carrying that valuable junk you grabbed in the lab, but the contents of his own pack include a bundle of sticks and canvas that he explains are meant to be a sort of small, portable shack.

"What the fuck for?" you whisper.

"Well, it keeps the weather out?" he suggests. You look pointedly up at the roof of the cavern, and he shrugs.

"Oh, come on, why do you have houses?" He waves a hand at the surrounding hovels. "I mean, why bother with roofs at all."

"Privacy," you snap. "And storage. And not everyone does bother with roofs, which is why you can steal a shitload more if you bother learning to climb." You dump his cloth hovel on the "sell" pile. "There's better things to carry than this beetleshit."

Terezi nods. "You can always get another one when we arrive at your home, if you need it," she says, putting a hand on Jake's back to try and reassure him. You bristle and start throwing the non-light-stick contents of the satchel onto the "sell" pile.

Terezi grabs up the leather vest as you chuck it aside. "Hmm," she says.

"Hmm, what?" you snap.

"This looks pretty good," she says, turning it around. "I wonder..."

You're about to ask what she's on about, when she mutters something under her breath and her eyes seem to flash with a momentary red light; you shrink back and make a warding gesture against the magic. You know it's dumb superstition but... that shit just isn't natural.

She tosses the vest back onto the "keep" pile, but refuses to say why. You suspect she's messing with you again. Her pack turns out to be largely full of useful things, although you all agree that the food she swiped from the Kutsanmis kitchens will need eating before the pressed rations you've got. You're just trying to wind what seems like an endless loop of rope into something resembling sensible order when you notice that she's still hunting through her possessions.

"Is something missing?" Jake asks. She nods.

"Yes! I'm sure they were in here last night..."

"You all up and looking for these, sister?" Gamzee leans past you, dangling a pair of manacles from one finger. You stare in horror as Terezi snatches them off him and throws them onto the "keep" pile.

"Well, I guess I can understand how you forgot to return my property, seeing as how you have almost certainly fried whichever parts of your mind worked in the first place," she says. There's a low-keyed meanness in there that doesn't get a chance to disturb you properly before Gamzee chuckles right next to your ear in a way that's dark and seductive and something that you never, ever needed to hear at all.

"Aw, shit sis, you just seemed so up and motherfucking keen on keeping those motherfuckers on me last night, thought you wouldn't mind if I was all up and keeping on them today..."

"SHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUP!" you yell, jamming your hands over your ears- an action which sadly fails to block out most of the sound. "I DO NOT WANT TO KNOW WHAT THE FUCK YOU TWO DID! I WOULD RATHER STAB MYSELF REPEATEDLY IN THE EARS UNTIL THE BLOODY STUMPS ON EITHER SIDE OF MY HEAD WERE COMPLETELY INCAPABLE OF COMPREHENSION AND THE PAIN HAD SHATTERED MY MIND INTO A THOUSAND SCREAMING SHARDS OF AGONY THAN HEAR ABOUT YOUR CONCUPISCENT MISADVENTURES!"

Gamzee tilts his head and looks puzzled. "But, bro, we were just all up and to getting our motherfucking fuck on and feeling good and shit as what like I always done with..."

"THERE IS LITERALLY NO ADJECTIVE IN ANY LANGUAGE EVER SPOKEN BY MORTAL TONGUES ABLE TO DESCRIBE THE SHEER AMOUNT BY WHICH I AM NOT FUCKING LISTENING TO YOU!"

Terezi tries to lay a hand on your arm. "Hey, you know it was just some fun, right? I'm not trying to take him away from you or..."

"EXACTLY WHICH PART OF _I DO NOT WANT TO HEAR ABOUT THE TWO OF YOU COPULATING LIKE ANIMALS IN HEAT_ IS GIVING YOU TROUBLE? BECAUSE I WILL FUCKING EXPLAIN IT! I WILL HOLD YOU BOTH DOWN WITH A FUCKING BLADE TO YOUR THROATS IF I HAVE TO, AND SO HELP ME I WILL SCREAM MY OBJECTION TO THIS LINE OF CONVERSATION WITH SUCH VOLUME AND FURY THAT THE GODS THEMSELVES WILL CLAW THEIR WAY UP FROM THE CORE OF THE WORLD TO TELL ME TO KEEP THE FUCKING NOISE DOWN BEFORE THEY BRING ARMAGEDDON ON OUR COLLECTIVE ASSES!"

Silence reigns for a few brief seconds, filled only by the general background radiation of noise in the Shanties and your panting breath. Someone gently pats you on the shoulder, and you look over to see Jake giving you a wry smile. He is definitely not the worst person you know and that is a fact; you glower at him and he removes the hand.

You stay calm for exactly as long as it takes for Gamzee's pack to be emptied out onto the ground. Bottles clink as potions stack up, and you know enough to just shove the wrapped doses of Pesh into the "keep" pile along with the Harlot Sweets because fuck it, if he wants that stuff...

... but when you see the _other_ little packages, you feel your heart breaking all over again.

"Why do you have these?" Your voice is flat as you lift the evidence, hold it in the palms of your hands, turn to Gamzee. He at least has the decency to look embarrassed.

"It ain't all up and being nothin', best friend," he says, smiling in a way that doesn't reach his eyes.

"DON'T FUCKING LIE TO ME!" you scream, tightening your grip on what you're holding. "I asked why you fucking had this, not whether it was anything or not! It's not fucking nothing and you know it, you piece of shit!"

"Woah, steady on there, buddy," says Jake, putting his hand back on your shoulder. As a restraint, you realise, because somehow in the ridiculously narrow gully Gamzee has still backed away from you and shit, he's crying. You're crying too, though- crying and shaking and trying too hard not to panic because you can handle him taking Pesh and Harlot Sweets and alcohol and all the other shit he usually shovels into himself but not this, not these, not when you've lived every fucking day next to what they do and you can't watch him leave you like that, fading into dreams and fantasies that are more vivid than the world around him, only seeing you sometimes and slowly forgetting who you are along with the rest of reality until there's nothing left of him but a wasted, starving husk...

You feel like throwing up, but you swallow it.

"So what's the problem here? So far you've been fine with him drugging himself into a stupor." Terezi asks, leaning closer to look at what you're holding. "My investigations suggest that you are withholding information, Karkles."

You hold up a shaking hand and, glaring, wave the contents under her nose. "This is godsdamned _opium,_ " you snap, then raise the other hand. "And this? This one is fucking _shiver._ Don't tell me you haven't seen shiver addicts, you're a fucking lawkeeper, if you don't know the difference between shiver and resin then you're the worst investigator to ever breathe the leftover fragments of air that drift in from the Shanties."

Her mouth narrows into a hard line, and she turns to face Gamzee. "It seems there is a case against you," she says. "Do you have anything to say in your own defence?"

Gamzee shakes his head and then immediately makes a liar of himself by opening his mouth. "I didn't never use none of it," he says, looking past Terezi and right at you. "I just, a week or two back, I all up and got to thinking, what if shit don't go down like we was motherfucking hoping, and I didn't..." he breaks off and rubs some of his tears away on a sleeve that is still ridiculously fancy, even with the stains and the crud on it. "This motherfucker was only all up to getting some motherfucking precautions on, in case of what shit all worked out like what his high an' noble mother all been up and planning, 'cos there ain't no motherfuckin' way this motherfucker was getting his stay on in reality if it all was up and looking like that shit and it ain't like she's all up to being used to not getting her motherfucking way, you know?" He shrugs. "Figured so long as I was all up and getting my happy on, it wouldn't matter none what all up and went happening to this motherfucker, if there weren't nobody left to motherfucking care."

You scoot across the gap between you, shuffling on your knees past the piles of shit your group owns, and pull him into a proper godsdamned embrace because you are so fucking furious that he was even contemplating doing that to himself and so terrified that you won't be able to stop it even now. "I was going to follow you," you tell him. "All the way through the fucking Deep Caverns, on my own, and on the off-chance that I didn't starve or freeze or get hopelessly, irrevocably lost forever and turned into heaps of post-digestive organic matter by a wandering monster, I was going to sit outside your house and yell your name until they either took me to you or shoved me ass-first onto a sharpened stake." You rest your cheek against his, and your faces are both damp. "And I was going to go to the gates of every single last iteration of the afterlife and be such a completely intolerable asshole that they kicked me straight out again. My restless ghost would have no choice but to come and find you, and if that didn't work I was going to haunt the shit out of the Deep Caverns and slaughter every last dumbass adventurer they sent after me until someone magically resurrected us both and we could be together like that."

His forehead bumps against yours in the quiet that follows your confession. "Don't," he says, voice cracking halfway through the word. "If it ever- if we ever- if that's all up and being how shit goes down, don't motherfucking up and get to following me all like that shit."

"How are you going to stop me, you fickle skullfungus?" you demand, backing away from him a little so that you can see the light shining in his eyes and off the tear-tracks. "Besides, we're running away, remember? So we don't need our shitty plans after all, which is a good thing because I'm actually not certain which one of us came up with the worst idea but we're definitely taking the first and second place awards in the all-history parade for valiant efforts in gods-awful planning. There are people who have jumped into lava pits and gone to feed driders on a dare that think we're pathetic, or there would be if any of them were still breathing."

Gamzee's hands fold over yours and take the little packages out of them, tossing them squarely onto the "sell" pile. "I'm all up and motherfucking chill with that, my brother," he says, wrapping both his arms around you and effectively trapping you in a hug, the asshole. You were planning to retreat back to a corner and sulk with him some more. You can't do that up close, not without him noticing and asking why.

"So is that everything?" you ask, wriggling around in his lap to face the other two assholes you suddenly have to deal with on a daily basis. Jake is gawping at the pair of you, and you do not remember volunteering for this crap.

"Everything we can stack," Terezi says. She's pretending to examine your worldly possessions, but you know she's got them all inventoried in her head. "We should trade in what you three are wearing for something more hardwearing, too, and Gamzee and I need to pick up new armour." She fingers the teal-stained leather almost sorrowfully. "Yours might just pass for regular chainmail, or at least something of indeterminate origin, but they are going to send people after us and I don't want to make it easy for them."

Jake's face falls a little when he looks over the "sell" pile. "Not to be a wet blanket, here, but who's going to buy all this?" He looks between you and Terezi, clearly worried. "Between what we're selling and what we want to buy, this could take some time, and I'm not so certain that we have much of that."

Terezi taps her fingers on the ground, making a "clackaclack" sound as her nails hit stone. "We'll need a fence," she says. "Someone who won't just sell us out straight away."

You quickly run through the options you know of, and shudder when you reach a conclusion. "The Bone Maiden," you say.

Terezi raises an eyebrow. "I've heard of her," she says. "And Karkles, I'm shocked that you know such a flagrant flouter of the law."

"Fuck you," you reply, because she does not sound shocked in the slightest. "Everyone knows the Bone Maiden, you idiot, it's the whole point of her operation, and she’s not going to turn us in because there’s no way the lawkeepers wouldn’t grab her too.”

“Can we trust her, though?” Terezi asks. You gesture to the pile of stuff you’re planning to lose.

“How much is that worth?” It’s embarrassing to admit, but you don’t really have much of a clue; gems, shiny metal and fancy clothes aren’t exactly at the beating heart of a food-based economy.

Terezi shrugs and wobbles a hand in the air. “Including the clothes? Just under nine hundred gold.”

You are fairly sure your heart stops beating for a few seconds. Your mouth opens and closes, but sound refuses to emerge. “You okay, bro?” asks Gamzee, and you wave your arms incoherently at him. Fucking asshole has no clue of the value of money.

Jake, at least, seems suitably impressed. “That seems like quite the haul,” he says, voice shaking.

“More than a third of it is what Gamzee’s wearing,” Terezi says. “And all the shiny objects Karkles picked up in the lab come to another two or three hundred.”

Two or three _hundred._ You’ve stolen shit like that in the past and been glad to get a handful of silver for it; Gamzee might not know the value of money but you’re starting to think maybe knowing the value of _things_ might have served you better. Past You is apparently a compete fucking sucker. Two or three fucking hundred gold, _shit,_ you could buy a _house_ for that much. Less than that much.

You are not even trying to take a run-up at nine hundred. That is just not a thing you can get your head around right now. Fuck, if the assholes around here knew how much you were carrying…

“We have to go,” you say, tugging your way out of Gamzee’s arms so that you can frantically grab things and shove them back into various bags and packs. “Right the fuck now.”

“Why?” Jake asks. You glare at him as you thrust his satchel into his chest.

 _“Nine. Hundred. Fucking. Gold,”_ you hiss, before slinging your own pack on and sticking your head out of the gulley. You see the usual assortment of detritus, both elf-shaped and not; none of it seems interested in you, but your spine still prickles as you hustle your group out into the street. If any of them overheard what Terezi said, or have any clue about the general value of what you’re wearing, you don’t think you’d give yourself another hour of life out in the open.

You take the lead through the narrow streets of the Shanties as they weave and wend their way around natural outcroppings of rock and the mutually incomprehensible architecture of clustered shacks. Terezi brings up the rear and you can see people scattering when they catch sight of her armour; the ones who remain watch you pass with hard eyes and appraising glances, which isn’t exactly comforting. When you look back, you can see that Jake’s drawn his strange dwarven weapon, which would reassure you more if he didn’t look so fucking jumpy. The thieving cockbites watching you are the sort of people who take nerves as an invitation, and you should know because you're usually one of them.

The one good thing about navigating the worst slum in Golgesi under constant threat of ambush is that it helps concentrate your mind on something that has nothing whatsoever to do with certain rogue lawkeepers and stoned runaway nobles and what they may or may not get up to in dark corners together. Naked. Oh, unholy shitfucks, why are you still obsessing about this, it has _nothing to do with you._ You’re still wondering whether telling yourself that is ever going to become magically convincing when the constant gurgling of water tells you that you have arrived at your destination.

In front of you the ground drops away, the river oozing past under a turgid layer of green-tinted foam, and squatting in the centre of it all like the maligned creation of a deranged sculptor is what can by logical deduction only be a boat. The cracked and patched chitin of its hull is stained in a dozen watery colours from the fouled waters in which it travels; a steady stream of that same filth dribbles out from below a rank of oar-holes, visible only as dark oblongs cut along the sides of the vessel from which drift small wisps of smoke. You hold your breath when one tendril wafts close, a sickly-sweet smell briefly overcoming the acrid stench of the river. According to basically everyone you've ever met in your entire life, the entire lower deck of the barge is nothing but darkness, damp, chains, and drugged smoke- the end of the line for those reckless enough to borrow more than they can repay from the Bone Maiden.

On the top of the barge sits a truly ludicrous construction, a multi-layered shack made from stretched cloth and mismatched plates of chitin. Bright swathes of cloth hang all over it beside bleached white bones, ragged and dirty banners fluttering loose in the breeze from the caverns. The same wind rattles the bones; you'd like to believe they're from animals, but the few bloodied remains hanging from the barge that haven't decayed yet say differently- you'd guess that whoever they were, they did worse than get into debt. You don't bother making a mental note not to piss the owner of the barge off; that particular survival trait has been part of you for years.

Rigging leads up and down the barge-house, which is easily big enough for a couple of dozen people to live in comfort by Shanties' standards; you can see a few people on the barge, but not that many, and even at this distance you know hired muscle when you see it. Near to you, being given a wide berth by the locals, one of the hefty thugs stands guarding a rickety rope bridge. Two others like it stretch out from the boat, three unstable pathways that sway in the slightest breeze and set the colourful flags on them a-flutter.

The guard-thug gives you a once-over as you stomp up, and you return the favour. He's taller and broader than anyone Shanty-born would grow to be, wearing leather armour and carrying a real, actual sword. There's an ugly scar across his cheek that matches the sneer he's giving you, and from the way he fingers the hilt of his weapon your bet is that he landed himself here by killing someone who actually mattered. You glare at him when he steps into your way, because your patience is officially out, particularly as it relates to beetlebrains who think that getting yourself kicked into the Shanties is better than being born there.

"We're here to see the Bone Maiden," you say, teeth grinding. He folds his arms and with slow deliberation looks you up and down, before leaning his head to the side to take in the rest of your small group. You know you're not exactly a reassuring sight- two escaped slaves, a runaway noble and a lawkeeper gone rogue, and there's not much way to mistake you for anything but trouble. The asshole still doesn't have to spend as long as he does visibly and falsely deliberating, and you fume.

As his eyes rake across Jake, the sunwalker winks and makes a “nk-nkt” noise at the stranger. His hands move in a puzzling gesture that you eventually realise is meant to be indicative of his dwarven weapon; you stare blankly, unaware of whether or not that was meant to be a threat. Terezi seems about as puzzled as you are, the thug seems equally unmoved by Jake's bizarre antics, and Gamzee's head is listing to one side so who the fuck even knows what he thinks. After an awkward moment of frozen posing, Jake lowers his hands and shrugs.

“Well, worth a shot, eh?” he says. The guard snorts, a thick and mucus-soaked sound.

"Nah," he says, and spits into the river. Your last shit expires, entirely ungiven, and your sickles are in your hands before you're even aware what you're planning to do. The guard is just as slow to react to attack as he was to look you all over, and you have your blade hooked behind his knee and tugging before he even has time to realise you're moving.

He slams into the stone with a loud crack, then a hand swipes clumsily at your ankle. You dance aside, but your manoeuvre gives the fuckass space to get back to his feet. He steps closer to you, half as tall again as you are and looming like a fucking building, and spreads his lips in a grin that shows you every single last one of his blackened, rotten teeth and blasts you with a wave of foul breath.

You lash out in a one-two strike, sickles reversed so that the pommels are aimed at his temples. However pissed you are, you're not stupid enough to piss off the Bone Maiden by killing her doorkeeper, even if he is a lumbering hulk of idiocy. For an instant as your first blow closes, you see him start to flinch back and think that you're going to miss. Then something inside you shifts, a feeling that growls “FUCK THIS SHIT”, and in a flash of red that exists entirely within your own head, your blow connects.

The second strike misses, but only because your target has already fallen over unconscious. You prod him experimentally with your toe and nothing happens.

“Holy shit,” you say, feeling the smile spread across your face. Fuck, that felt good. You wonder if any more stubborn fuckwads are going to obligingly come and stand in your way today. You're kind of hoping they will.

“Bloody good show,” Jake walks over to peer at the fallen thug. “I must say, Karkat, I hadn't realised you were such a game scrapper!”

“It's only good if the Bone Maiden doesn't take offence,” Terezi points out. Your smile drops at that, and your head turns as if drawn by invisible forces to look at the barge once again. The bones rattle and you could swear they know you're looking their way.

“Not much we can do either way now, is there?” you say, sheathing your sickles and reaching a hand out to rest on the rope rail. “It's not like we could have got to see her with him standing in the way.”

Terezi acknowledges your point with a nod, and you turn away, concentrating on putting one foot in front of the other and crossing the narrow bridge to the eerie barge ahead. You should be scared, or maybe hopeful, but you're not really either of those things. You are Karkat Vantas, you dream about gods, and right now you are _utterly fucking pissed off with everything._

Maybe that'll be enough, but somehow you doubt it.  


### Suggestions Used

 _WhiteTiger1221 -_ Jake and Karkat: Have a stupid asshole party with your good friend exhaustion. Bond during this. 

_Ms Arano -_ Karkat: Remember in full your next dream-conversation with Rose, even if you don't really understand it.

 _Aryashi -_ Karkat: Wake up and be extremely annoyed for some reason.

 _nanrea -_ Karkat: Wake up to Terezi slobbering all over your face asking about visions :P

 _Ms Arano -_ Jake: Observe your new companions' morning habits.

 _WhiteTiger1221 -_ Karkat: Begrudgingly come to the realisation that you consider the Sunwalker to be a friend. (Possibly his 2nd friend ever?) Do not mention this to anyone except maybe to Gamzee, and then only vaguely.

 _1JakoftheMoon1 -_ Karkat: attempt to hide resentment regarding your friend and sassy ally's antics.

 _WhiteTiger1221 -_ Terezi: Be elated that your plan worked successfully and come up with ideas for the next step of the escape.

 _WhiteTiger1221 -_ Karkat and Jake: Avoid the subject of what you heard in the night.

 _WhiteTiger1221 -_ Gamzee: Do not avoid the subject of what happened last night.

 _Ryo Hoshi -_ Karkat: deal with your feelings about recent developments in relationships.

 _MASK -_ Karkat: be incredibly paranoid.

 _MASK -_ Jake: pick up on karkat's paranoia, become paranoid as well (assuredly less so that karkat).

 _LostSock -_ Jake: Attempt trademark "Double Pistols and a Wink *nk-nkt*". Impress no one.

 _ttd0000 -_ Karkat: Take out your frustration at this turn of events on someone not in your party, preferably someone who deserves it.

[System Notes](http://celynbrum.tumblr.com/post/59704017966/lodad-system-notes-chapter-38)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, that's it, folks. No more LODAD until the new year now, on account of how next Friday is my birthday and I'm not posting nuthin' then!
> 
> For those who missed the announcement on Tumblr though, I will be posting something on Christmas (internet allowing), a sort-of-Christmas-story sort-of-prequel to my other fic, Home Is Where The Heart Is. Should be readable even if you haven't read that one, but warnings for Admiral Celyn Kraken of the _OTP Pale GamKar_ glurging for umpteen pages. It's kind of meant to be a Christmas present to all of you guys for all being such great readers, but even if you don't partake let me take this opportunity to wish you all A VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR! :]
> 
>  
> 
> _look Ma winter ain't gonna last forever whoo hey pretty lights and food and chillin' with the folks goddamn it I love this time of year and not just because I was born here_
> 
> EDIT:  
> Moved the notes from the top of the chapter to the bottom, and farmed system notes out to Tumblr.


	39. -- THE SEER OF MIND --

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Hero point votes:**  
>  Karkat 6  
> Jane 3  
> Sollux 2  
> Kanaya 2  
> Roxy 1  
> Aradia 1  
> Gamzee 1  
> John 1  
> KARKAT GAINS ONE HERO POINT!  
> Voting now open for the next Hero Point award: one person will get one after three chapters.

## THE SEER OF MIND

[](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/y302710qx5nqdyh/Seer%20of%20Mind.png?dl=0)

_Lady Justice, She Who Sees Sightless, the Dragon's Daughter, Truthseeker_

ALIGNMENT: Lawful Neutral

PORTFOLIO: Justice, Investigation, Cunning, Adaption

DOMAINS: Knowledge (), Trickery (Deception), War (Tactics), Law (), Scalykind (Dragon), Darkness (Night)

FAVOURED WEAPON: Sword Cane

THE SEER OF MIND is a goddess dedicated to justice at any cost; her punishments are harsh and her judgements swift, and yet even those who do not trust her know that she is incorruptible and unwaveringly even-handed.

HISTORY  
The Seer of Mind is the goddess of justice, harsh and unremitting, and the tales associated with her reflect this. She is said to be blind and is always depicted sightless, but according to legend she smells the taint of crime on a perpetrator's very soul and never fails to hunt them down and mete out punishment- after death if not before. Many ancient civilisations found strength in the rule of her Law, but as modern scholars point out, woe betide the thief who stole a loaf of bread when a single Justice could be judge, jury and executioner.

PANTHEONS AND RELATIONSHIPS  
The Seer of Mind appears in the worship of two different pantheons as well as individually.

In the PANTHEON OF BLOOD, she is the sometime lover of the KNIGHT OF BLOOD, and despite their arguments supports his authority amongst the other gods. In a pantheon where every god has trouble getting along, she is the one who manipulates and pulls the strings to keep her comrades working together, guiding her fellows and ensuring fair play by all.

Within the STARWALKERS, a pantheon whose worship has faded in all but a few lands, she is either boon companion or lover to the KNIGHT OF TIME and the former lover of the KNIGHT OF BLOOD, and alternately fuels and thwarts their rivalry. Her dedication to justice is such that she justly slew her own sister for murder before the world was made, and yet as the Goddess of Secrets she acts as a nexus for strife in the pantheon. Despite bearing great hatred for the BARD OF RAGE, in certain of the legends she shares his bed, risking the jealous fury of her Knights. In some tales she loses herself entirely, in others she is saved by the SEER OF LIGHT; what is truth is unclear.

Alone, she is the goddess of law and the patron of cunning; many tales of the Seer play out like games of cat-and-mouse, or intricate plans where every last detail falls into place at exactly the right moment. Like her followers, she treats her quests as games and her games as quests, but while she may sometimes seem to gamble she never leaves anything to luck.

As an antagonist to other pantheons or deities she is cruel and cold, a remorseless and calculating force whose dedication to punishing the guilty leaves no room for empathy or understanding. In most cases she is an accidental enemy, her attention drawn by a necessary violation, but in the case of the BARD OF RAGE she is an implacable and unrelenting foe.

APPEARANCE AND EMISSARIES  
The Seer of Mind is most usually depicted as a tiefling, a drow, or a tuatha. She is always smiling or grinning, either blindfolded or clearly eyeless, and is often shown with dragon-wings in glittering rainbow hues. In some images she carries a light in her hands, which from the reactions of the figures around her is plainly blinding and painful to behold.

SERVANTS  
Dragons, lizards and reptilian races are thought to be the creations of the Seer of Mind, but in keeping with her nature she shows no undue favour to any of these creatures.

_The Dragon Court_  
A mythical court said to be at the heart of the world, and formed of twenty great wyrms- each the oldest and wisest of their kind. Rarely do they sit in judgement, but when they roar their voices echo the world over.

_The Inevitables_  
Ageless, genderless, and driven by a single purpose, the Inevitables exist only to destroy agents of Chaos, and although the Seer may unleash them not even she can call them back once their mission is set.

CHURCH  
Temples of the Seer are common in Drow cities, often doubling as courts and providing the backbone of law enforcement despite internal schisms and strife. In the former Aelfen lands, it is not uncommon for watchmen and judges to swear to “Lady Justice” or even keep small shrines to her- the last vestiges of a Temple that was once even grander than the one which now rules in Drow lands.

WORSHIPPERS AND CLERGY  
Clerics of the Seer of Mind are Lawful Neutral, Lawful Good, Lawful Evil, and True Neutral.

Followers of the Seer are judges and watchmen, investigators and bounty hunters, but also researchers, historians, and scientists. Anyone whose mind is disciplined and whose goal is the unravelling of mysteries for the sake of truth can find guidance in the Seer's teachings.

The clergy of the Seer are most usually Clerics and Inquisitors, with more Paladins in the kindlier branches of her service. Her devout followers usually end up excelling in their field- most often as manhunters or investigators of some stripe.

TEMPLES AND SHRINES  
Temples of the Seer are built to intimidate visitors, most consisting of a central high-ceilinged chamber filled with shadows and spotlight with actual altars and shrines confined to smaller side-rooms. Her shrines, by comparison, are often small and could be considered frivolous in their decoration. The Seer prefers a more personal relationship with her loyal followers, but she does like to make wrongdoers quake in their boots.

HOLY TEXTS  
The holy texts of the Temple of Mind are more often than not lawbooks, written by holy prophets and blessed by priests. The few tomes thought to originate from the Seer herself are stories wrapped around riddles and filled with eye-searingly bright coloured illustrations.

_The First Law_  
The original copy of this slim book is supposedly kept in high state in the City of Shadows, each passage written in both Infernal and Celestial. Even the more modern copies are handled with reverence, as the contents are supposedly the first laws ever given to mortals.

_The Adventures of Lemonsnout_  
This cheerful children's story follows the cunning Lemonsnout through his rise from humble beginnings to fame, fortune and eventual deposition and rightful execution for being a treacherous kinslaying despot. It is considered an excellent primer for youngsters considering a temple career.

_Games, Riddles and Other Diversions_  
Popular amongst the laity, this book gives a variety of deceptively simple games that can be played to sharpen the mind and challenge the senses. Mastering them is a necessity for members of the clergy.

HOLIDAYS  
Cults and temples of the Seer have precisely defined holy days, and cheerfully preside over executions and public trials.

_The Feast of Heroes_  
A solemn affair which falls whenever all six moons are full at once, this holiday is marked by feasting and religious ceremonies in honour of all who have fallen in the pursuit of justice and truth.

_Dragon Day_  
Held after the first harvest of the year, this is a joyous celebration, marked by elaborate parades and fanciful costumes for young and old. There are usually prizes for the best efforts, and plays put on by professionals and amateurs alike.

_The Grand Tournament_  
Once in a decade the grand tournament is held; a gathering in the city of Budaklar, of those who claim to have mastered their discipline whatever it may be. Under the watchful eye of the goddess and her chosen judges they compete with one another in hope of being granted the title of Grand Master.

[ ](http://th03.deviantart.net/fs70/PRE/i/2013/065/b/c/seer_of_mind_by_persephone_the_fish-d5wgt0n.jpg)

Seer Of Mind Portrait by [proserpine-in-phases](http://proserpine-in-phases.tumblr.com/)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, announcement! I'm making an experiment in changing my update schedule, so the next update for this story may well be SUNDAY EVENING (UK time). If it works out, that is when I will update from now on. :]


	40. ==> Jade: Get A Move On!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Hero point votes:**  
>  No votes cast yet.

## ==> Jade: Get A Move On!

The door to the Deep Caverns is a work of art. You stare at it, head tilted back to take in an archway taller than the highest trees in the forest, intricate stone knotwork carved around images of what you can only assume to be the terrifying monsters that await you in the mountains beyond. You can't wait to get through and start looking for Jake!

The gate guards, who are currently off to your left winding the immense wheel that pulls the chain that is slowly letting the doors grind open, already noted how similar you look to your brother. You didn't miss the way that Gunnar and Thyri glanced at you, or that your adoptive brothers and sister tightened their grips on weapon shafts. You had to put a hand on Bec to stop him from growling even though you felt like doing it yourself. It's not fair that you've met Jake's family and not him, and in a deep and cold part of you there is a growing certainty that whoever is responsible for this is going to pay dearly. You're pretty sure the Quartzkin dwarves agree, from the way they're tooled up. You spend a moment eyeing up Lars' musket again; Thyri gave you a demonstration of the various “guns” while she and her family were strapping on packs and armour and weapons, and you can't help wondering if maybe Guardian Wolfsister was maybe missing a trick when she grumbled about “unholy abominations of nature”. You didn't ask for one because of those rants, but you're starting to wish you had.

At any rate, you're feeling a little underdressed next to the family, who are bristling with stuff. The only ones without a gun are Bryn- who's carrying an entire bandolier of clinking vials instead- and Vidar, whose warpick looks positively ancient and who muttered something about “traditions of our people” and turned red when questioned further. At least you're in better shape than Sollux and Aradia. You know it messes with their magic, but you don't think you'd be so happy about going into danger with so little protection!

A rush of air, cold and musty, rushes out of the crack towards you as the doors swing apart. The crack between them is black, the darkness almost a physical presence. Kanaya takes a step forwards and says something in a language you don't speak.

“Mother of monsters, keep your children from our path, for we too are your own,” whispers Vidar, and a shudder runs up your back. Bec whimpers and you tangle your fingers in his ruff, taking a deep breath as Kanaya steps forward and is immediately swallowed by the dark. Behind you, Gunnar whispers something and suddenly the flickering orange glow of the torchlight is overwhelmed by a brilliant white radiance from just over your shoulder. You look back to see the older dwarf holding a shining copper piece, and grin at him. He nods back as he strides past you, and belatedly you remember to get moving yourself!

You aren't sure what you were expecting, but the reality is more mundane than what you would have described. Gunnar's magical light illuminates bare rock, slick with water and chill from having never felt the touch of the sun. You all walk in silence through the uneven tunnels into the Earth, Kanaya and Sollux near the front where they don't have to face the light that Gunnar uses to light your way. You blush a little when you realise that if it wasn't for you and Bec, they wouldn't need a light at all down here. Eight sets of feet falling on rock make an odd, uneven clattering that sometimes gets caught by the rock and echoed back to you, as if the tunnels are full of strangers you can't see.

You can't shake the feeling that it should be strange to you, or sinister, but as you brush your fingers against the walls you can sense the deep magic all around you. You are a Druid, a Guardian of the Fourth Circle, and a poor custodian of nature you would be if you couldn't sense it in the rocks as much as the trees! You are walking into the bones and roots of the world, and you can sense the power here, the deep magic of an ecosystem far from your usual home. It feels just as natural as the Greenweald to you.

Unfortunately, you don't think you can say the same for Bec. Your beloved companion is slinking along beside you, his ears flattened to his head and his tail down, whimpering and giving you the biggest puppy-eyes he can manage.

“Shh, I'm sorry,” you whisper, scratching between his ears. “It's okay. You're the bravest, coming down here with me. Good wolf. Best friend.”

You hear a snort, and look up just in time to see Sollux's head snapping back around. “What?” you demand.

“Nothing,” he says, and your eyes narrow. Nothing your eye!

"He's just scared!” you say, maybe a little too loudly. Your voice sinks into the rock and makes the surrounding silence deeper. “Wolves don't usually come this far underground,” you add, more softly.

"Well, then, maybe you thould have left him behind inthtead of dragging him down here,” Sollux says without turning. Bec whimpers again and you pet him clumsily, trying to keep moving as you do so.

"Ssh, I'm not leaving you anywhere,” you tell your wolf. “I'm not leaving him anywhere!” you yell at Sollux's back for good benefit. The sorcerer raises a hand and makes a rude gesture at you.

For a moment you see red. All you want to do is knock some sense into that fuckass and before you even realise what you're doing you've charged forwards, snarling like the wolves that helped raise you, and diving for Sollux in a heartfelt attempt to send him sprawling. You're in the air and headed squarely at his back when he suddenly ducks aside, faster than you would have thought possible for someone who seems to go to every effort to not do anything physical, and then you're landing on the floor on your face and ow that hurt! You can hear Sollux snickering and feel Bec's fuzzy snout nosing at your face and then you choke on the rising dust that you puffed up with your fall and Sollux's laughter abruptly halts and

then

he

sneezes

There's a sound that isn't really a sound, a WHOOMPH you feel in your bones as a wall of something too solid to be wind shoots past you, and then an instant of silence as the rock around you lets out a deep, rumbling groan in answer. You have just enough time to gape at Sollux, who looks about as stunned as you feel, and then you sense the lines of ancient power running through the rock start to crack and shift.

“MOVE!” you scream, rising just far enough off the ground to dive out of the way of the boulder that slams into the ground next to you. The air fills with false thunder and dark dust; Gunnar's light vanishes behind a boulder and around you are only glimpses of people moving, shouts you can't hear. You crawl away from the noise and your hands shake as you fumble for fragments of power. Someone's hand lands on your arm and you yell, lashing out at someone who screeches and flails back at you. You pull back and shakily finish pulling on the power of nature, summoning a warm golden light that coalesces on the pebble in your hands. It falls on Aradia, who stares at you with eyes blown wide. Her hair is tumbled over her face and there's a tear in her sleeve, and she looks utterly wild. Your heart skips a beat.

Then a grey hand reaches out and touches Aradia's arm, and she looks around to see Sollux, and suddenly he's holding her close and her head is buried in his shoulder. Something warm and furry pushes up under your hand and you look away from your companions to smile at Bec, reassuring him as best you can as he sniffs at your face in canine concern.

It takes you a minute to get your animal companion calmed enough to pay attention to anything else, and when you look around again your heart sinks. You can see Thyri and Bryn by the heap of stone that's forming the new rock-face, but the rest of your dwarf family and Kanaya are nowhere in sight.

“It'th not my fault.”

Your head snaps back around and you glare at Sollux, ready to tear a new strip off him because this is DEFINITELY his fault, but your voice dies in your throat when you see him. He's wrapped around Aradia like there's nobody else in the world either of them can trust close, and he doesn't look sulky or petulant. He looks terrified.

“Okay,” you say, because you honestly don't think he meant to do that. You don't think he even knew he could do that. You turn your attention back to the dwarves, scrambling over to where they're standing and noting that at least none of the people you can see are injured. “Thyri, are they...?”

Jake's mother- Aunt Thyri, she asked you to call her- turns to you, and a horrible fear that had been building in your gut fades as you see the smile on her face. “They're fine, love,” she says, pointing to a small crack that runs between two boulders. “Lars and Vidar got a little scratched up, but everyone's in one piece on the other side.”

You stick your face closer to the crack. “Hello?”

There is a momentary pause, and then Gunnar's voice comes drifting through the rock. “We're all here, lass,” he says. “Your friend Kanaya's just helping the boys out.” He snorts. “Rookie bloody mistake, but what the hey. Makes things interesting, doesn't it!?”

“Dad!” Bryn nudges you away from the crack. “Stop being a silly old bugger and start figuring out how to move these buggering rocks!”

"Silly old bugger, is it?” Gunnar sound more amused than anything and you grin. Bec squeezes in beside you, putting his front paws up on the rockfall and sniffing at the crack. You pull him back down with one hand, because a large wolf probably isn't going to help matters. “If you're so damned clever, girl, why don't you tell me how we're going to move this mess?”

Bryn steps back and gives the wall a calculating look. “Bet I can blast through,” she says, reaching for one of her vials. Thryi grabs her daughter's wrist before you can object.

“Are you mad, girl?” she snaps. “You'll bring the roof down on us! Honestly, I taught you better than that. You're turning your poor old mother grey, you are!” She ambles back over to the rock face. “Gunnar, love?” she calls. “I don't think we should be trying to move this. Can you get around and meet us at the lower north-west tunnel?”

There is a pause, indistinct voices coming from the other side, and then Gunnar's voice comes floating back. “Shouldn't be a problem, sweetheart. Will you be alright making it there yourselves?”

“Of course we will,” Thyri says. “See you there, you old fool.”

"Looking forward to it, darling.” There is another muffled conversation from the other side; you glance back at Sollux and Aradia, and are relieved to see that they are no longer huddled on the ground. Sollux is sitting on a boulder, talking quietly to Aradia who is crouched in front of him. They don't exactly look happy, but you're pretty sure whatever it was you saw on their faces a few minutes ago isn't going to surface again any time soon.

"Jade,” says a calm female voice from the other side of the rock fall, and you shoot back to the crack.

"Kanaya! What's up!?”

"I merely wished to proffer my hopes for your wellbeing, and that of our companions,” the drow woman says. “And also to check on the wellbeing of Sollux and Aradia. I know that they are well, but I should like to hear from them myself?”

"Oh, of course!” You turn and wave until the pair of them look around. “Guys, Kanaya wants to check in!”

Aradia beams at you, her face so sunny that you find it hard to remember seeing anything so alien as fear on it, and trots right over. Sollux trails after her like a sullen kite, and you can't help but giggle at the thought of a grumpy Sol-kite flying in the midday sun. He doesn't meet your gaze as he passes you, though, and you step back without a word to let the pair of them near the hole.

“Hey, Kanaya!” Aradia calls. “We're okay! Tell her we're okay, Sol!”

"Fine,” Sollux grunts, or something like it.

"I am glad to hear it,” Kanaya replies, not seeming to notice or care about the perfunctory response from one of her two fellow adventurers. “I wanted to tell you in person that I am expecting to see you both alive and well at our rendezvous. It is somewhat awkward to admit, but the two of you are extremely important to me. The closest thing I have to... I would be most distressed, if I were to not see you again.”

There is a slight pause, and you see Aradia and Sollux squeeze each other's hands a little tighter. “We think of you as family too, Kanaya,” Aradia says, her voice gentle and slightly choked. “So you'd better come back to us safe, as well.”

The only thing that stops you from feeling like an intruder during the even longer pause that follows is the hand that Thyri rests on your arm. You look up into a warm dwarvish smile and feel a part of you melt inside. Not that Guardian Wolfsister and the pack aren't your family, but it's a good feeling, to not be alone down here.

“Thank you,” says Kanaya, sounding almost as choked up as Aradia. “I will endeavour to arrive in good health along with my companions.”

"Don't worry, kids,” says Gunnar's voice. “Me and the boys'll keep her in one piece for you. You just worry about yourselves, alright?”

"Thank you, Mister Quartzkin,” Aradia says, and Sollux mutters something that might be agreement. There is another lull, and then Thyri shakes her head and steps up to the crack.

"Away with you, husband!” the woman bellows, and you jump as the rocks shake a little. “Go on! Get! We'll see you soon!”

"I should bloody well hope so too,” comes the reply. Your small group listens until you hear footsteps fading on the other side of the rock fall, and then Thyri looks at your small group and nods.

"Well, then,” she says. “I should say it's about time to get moving. Jade, can you give us a bearing?”

You nod and close you eyes, whispering a prayer of focus. Something inside you aligns and you feel the force lines of the world tugging at you. As it if were made of iron your arm rises to point due north. Thyri nods and sets off along the tunnel ahead, which drives down and northeast. Bec bounds off after her with a bark that echoes off the walls, and you wait a moment for Bryn, Sollux and Aradia to get ahead of you before you start walking. Your pebble glows warmly in your hands, and you don't want to blind any of them or affect their darkvision.

The tugging of true north inside you helps keep you oriented as you follow the winding tunnel down. Thyri must know where she's headed because she doesn't even hesitate as you reach crossroads and forks in the way; you just trust in her guidance and keep pace with the others, keeping your eyes open for the uneven floor and making sure to reassure Bec whenever he runs back to check on you. He doesn't exactly seem happier being underground, but at least he's getting used to it a little. You suspect you'll be down here a while before you see sky again.

As the path winds deeper you start to notice a change in the air. Until now, the caves have been if not cold, then at least chill; as soon as you left the dwarf hold, something damp seemed to settle into your bones as if planning to stay forever. Now, though, you catch hints of a warm, dry breeze puffing through the tunnels. In one or two places you pass cracks and holes that seem to be acting as vents, spewing a warmth that seems to be almost tangible and have a scent. You remember some of the things Kanaya told you, about how the Deep Caverns are warmed by the liquid fire at the heart of the world, and you don't linger by the vents.

In addition to Jake, there are now the rest of your comrades to worry about, and your group moves in grim silence, swinging north and then west through tunnels that are warmer and dryer by the turn. You stow your pebble in a pocket when the walls start to sprout a glowing green fungus that gives a light bright enough for your eyes to see by. It's otherworldly, as distant to you as the stars in the night sky, and yet you can sense the life and the rightness in it. You stop Bec from eating green fungus and follow Thyri onwards.

You are passing through a small cave that is filled with the gurgling of the underground stream running through the middle when your foot connects with something that clatters away too easily to be a rock. You stare at the white lump as it bounces off one of the walls and rolls to a stop, and jump back with a yell when a bleached skull grins back at you. The rest of the group react immediately.

“Where!?” yells Thyri, reaching for her weapon. Blue and red sparks play over Sollux's skin and Aradia's hands rise as Bryn reaches for her bandolier. You wave your arms at them.

"It's okay!” you say, voice cracking halfway through with the suddenness. You cough and try again. “It's fine, I just kind of, um, found something.” You pull a face at the skull.

"Really, what... oh!” Aradia walks up to stand at your side, and her face lights up. “Wow!” You try really, really hard not to pull a face at her as she crouches down and picks up the skull, examining it closely. “Hey there, buddy!” she says, beaming back at the lipless grin. “Are there any... oh, yeah! There we go!”

You look at where she's pointing and see other bones, scattered in the shadow behind the rock. There are things glittering in amongst them and you fail to be surprised when Sollux goes and crouches amongst the bones.

“Weird,” he says, poking at the fragments of former person. “There'th no damage on the boneth, and the only thtuff here ith metal. Everything elthe mutht have rotted, I gueth.”

You share an uncomfortable look with Bryn when Thyri wanders over to join them. The dwarf woman studies the bones appraisingly. “Looks like an ooze of some sort got them,” she says, tapping her chin in thought. “Probably some time ago, but we should keep an eye out. Bloody nasty way to go.”

“An ooze?” you ask, trying to imagine what would get called a name like that.

"It's what it sounds like,” Thyri says, turning back to you and Bryn. “Come up from the deep caverns sometimes. There's all sorts of the dashed pests, but mostly they just suck you up and digest you whole, then drop the bits they can't do a bally thing with.”

"Wow!” Aradia drops the skull and wanders past Sollux, who is busy looting the remaining valuables. “I wonder what they were doing down here?”

"Seeking fame and fortune, most likely,” says Bryn, frowning as she watches the two adventurers. “I'm sorry... what the bloody hell are you two doing?”

"Getting paid,” says Sollux, at the same moment as Aradia says, “Exploring!”

Both dwarves look at you, and you shrug. “It's a professional thing, I think,” you say, because you still don't get it exactly even though your magic wraps are turning out to be really handy for carrying things!

Thyri shakes her head and sighs. “I suppose it's not the sort of thing you mention in stories,” she says wistfully, and you remember that her husband used to be an adventurer too. In fact, so did Guardian Wolfsister, and she never told you anything about this either.

“Guys!” yells Aradia from behind a rock. “This is fantastic! You're got to come and see this!”

You hesitate for a second before you move- what if she's found more bones, or something more, urgh, _squishy_ \- but then curiosity gets the better of you and you splash through the stream to the dark corner where she's standing, beaming in delight. You have to pull your pebble out again to see it and by that time everyone is there to see the crack in the rock that she is already starting to crawl through.

“Aradia!” yells Thyri. “Come back here, girl, that's not safe!”

Aradia calls back words that might be “I can see something”, and then her feet vanish. You're about to follow when Sollux splashes past you and shoots after her. Nobody should be skinny enough to fit through that crack without stopping, but he is. You pause to pet Bec, and look at Thyri and Bryn. They glance at each other, snort with laughter, and then Thyri waves a hand to the crack.

“Go on, girl,” she says. “We aren't fitting through there. We'll look after Bec for you, won't we, there's a fine chap!”

Bec's tail splashes in the stream as she pets him, and relieved to be leaving him in good hands for the few minutes you will be apart you drop your pack next to Sollux and Aradia's, then crouch down and start crawling. Cold water floods across your front, the light of your pebble worse than useless clenched in your moving fist. You splutter blind and soaked through a shallow passage until you tumble headfirst into a pool. Your hand opens, dropping the pebble as you flail for the surface.

Two pairs of arms grab you and pull you onto rock, and you look up to see Sollux and Aradia either side of you. Then you realise that you can see them, and stare up to really see the cavern you are standing in. Except cavern isn't really the right word.

… Cathedral, now, that is a word you could get behind for this. You slowly walk out into the centre of the floor- smooth and flat and when you look down, the cracks in the stone are too regular to be anything but tiles. The stalactites reaching down have grown into the stalagmites reaching up, and are covered from floor to ceiling in bluish glowing moss. From the reddish glow coming from the far end of the chamber and the warmth spreading from the far end of the room, you suspect there's some sort of magma pool back there, but as you turn in a slow circle what really catches your eye are the carvings on the walls of the circular chamber.

"Isn't it fantastic?” Aradia runs over to join you, looking even happier than she did when finding corpses. “Just look at them!”

"Are those... the gods?” you ask, taking in the figures on the walls. Some of them are aasimar, others tieflings, and you recognise some of the symbols carved over them in stone.

"I think so, but look!” Aradia puts an arm around your shoulder and spins you. “I counted- there are twenty of them, and look at these ones!”

You find yourself face to face with six pictures. You recognise the symbols over them immediately- Breath, Light, Void, Heart, Life and Hope- but the pictures look nothing like any representation you've ever seen of the Heir, Seer, Rogue, Prince, Maid and Page. To begin with, they're all tieflings. You turn again, check the rest of the pictures, and pick out six others that roughly match the gods you're used to.

“Okay,” you admit, your face splitting in a grin. “This is cool!”

"I know!” Aradia grabs your hands and bounces a little. “I wonder if this is what those adventurers were looking for? Wow, just think what a religious scholar would make of this place! Oh, I wish I'd read more on ancient religions!”

"Guyth,” says Sollux. You turn to see him crouched by a stone pillar, opposite where you entered. It's short and square, and as you walk over you can see him running his fingers over carvings in the rock. “Do thethe look familiar?” he asked.

You squint at the markings, but Aradia claps her hands. “The book!” You look at her and she waves a hand towards the crack you entered by. “You remember, the book we found in the underground temple, where we met? It's in my pack.”

Something clicks into place in your head. “Oh, yeah, there was some stuff like this in there, wasn't there!”

“Wow, I really wish we could read this.” Aradia looks regretfully at the pillar. “Just think what we could learn!”

You look back at the carvings, taking a moment to study the Witch and the Sylph, and pull a face. “I dunno. I don't think whoever did this was that good at carvings.”

Aradia looks over at the walls again, then giggles as she takes in the strange, spindly, stylised images. “What, you don't think my patron god has boobs that big?” She waves her hands out in front of her admittedly ample chest at almost arm's length, which is about what the carving seems to be suggesting.

“I don't think the person who did these had ever really seen people,” you say, looking more closely at the images. “And why are none of these gods wearing anything?”

"That's hardly fair, Jade,” Aradia says, eyes twinkling. “They're wearing the very latest in scraps of cloth and bits of string!”

"Why ith the Mage of Doom wearing nothing but beltth?” Sollux asks, scowling. You can't help it; you and Aradia share a look, and burst out laughing. Sol gives you both a dirty look and slumps down next to the pillar; you turn to try and buck him up- honestly, there's no need for him to sulk about belts when the Witch of Space is wearing two vines and a badger- but you are brought up short by what you see. Eyes fixed on the far corner of the room, you reach out and shake Aradia's shoulder.

"Oh, look, the other Maid has huge boobs too!” she is saying. “Jade, what are you...”

She falls silent as she turns, her eyes going wide; Sollux sees the look on your faces and follows your finger. All of you are staring in stunned silence at the pale, wispy figure on the far side of the room- a short-haired elven man in leather armour and sturdy boots, who just so happens to be translucent as mist. He stares back at the three of you with hollow, empty eyes.

 _“Who disturbs my rest?”_ he demands, and his voice is hollow, echoing like the wind and coming from a far distance. You are frozen in place, unable to speak or move, paralysed in fear before the ghost, and you can see that Sollux is in the same sorry state.

Then, to your amazement, Aradia takes a step forward and, beaming, holds her hand out to the ghost.

“Hi, my name's Aradia!” she says cheerfully. “Can I help you?”  


### Suggestions Used

 _RandomGal -_ Jade: Alternate between being worried about Jake and pissed off at who stole him.

 _Arienna -_ Kanaya/Aradia/Sollux/Jade: Get a move on!

 _edenfalling -_ Jade: Does your nature magic get disrupted if you get too far underground or stay away from forests for too long? Also, what is Bec's reaction to the Underdark?

 _ttd0000 -_ Jade and party: Begin descent into Underdark; Begin regretting ever hearing the words under or dark.

 _nanrea -_ Jade: Knock Sollux on his ass to get him out of a shitty mood. For some reason you think that'll work

 _1JakoftheMoon1 -_ Sollux: that cave in was totally intentional. Right?

 _MASK -_ Sollux: refuse to apologize for spell-sneezing--it isn't your fault it's so dusty in these side tunnels!

 _edenfalling -_ Aradia: Be adorably excited when stumbling over (literally?) the crumbling bones of previous adventuring parties who dared to venture into the Underdark and died in ways too hideous to describe in detail.

 _edenfalling -_ Everyone else in the party: Be disturbed by this behavior.

 _Arienna -_ Aradia: Find something Awesome and probably Important.

 _Ms Arano -_ Aradia: Come across information on interactions between the Creation Gods and the Lords of the Lunar Planes.

 _BubbleBtch -_ Dave/jade: find ironically placed mural of allllllll the gods

 _BubbleBtch -_ Mural: get lots of relevant god appearances horribly wrong.

 _BubbleBtch -_ Jane/aradia: wonder if your patron god really had boobs that big and wore that little

 _Ms Arano -_ Aradia: Talk to a ghost.

[System Notes](http://celynbrum.tumblr.com/post/59704226410/lodad-system-notes-chapter-40)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, that was successful! I'm hereby officially changing my update schedule for LODAD to be Sunday updates. Wahey!
> 
> EDIT:  
> Moved the notes from the top of the chapter to the bottom, and farmed system notes out to Tumblr.


	41. ==> Rose: Do Something Frivolous And Fun

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Hero point votes:**  
>  Aradia 3  
> Sollux 1  
> Jade 1

## ==> Rose: Do Something Frivolous And Fun

“... and he either couldn't or wasn't going to tell me any more than that,” Jane finishes, pushing a branch aside as she keeps pace with you through the forest. “I'm inclined to think the former, though. I don't know about you, but I've been getting the distinct impression that kobolds aren't particularly stellar at communicating!”

You nod, stepping carefully over a root. “I certainly concur with your assessment, although I find myself wondering more and more about the precise nature of the misadventure we seem to have stumbled upon.” You very carefully avoid noting that your small party has not so much stumbled into this quest as been volunteered for it by a party as yet unknown; the fact that Nakkonik was unable to provide much information on the Golden Elf is a source of no small vexation to you, but you would much prefer to concern yourself with the potential dangers of your immediate future.

“Dirk!” you call. Your fellow aasimar pauses and turns to look back at you. He's been leading the way through the forest, following the Kobold's directions and the river, and the whole group comes to a halt as he strolls back towards you.

“'Sup?” he asks, as John and Dave approach from the rear. You purse your lips slightly as you note Roxy is leaning against John's arm again, Frigglish keeping pace beside her and mewing insistently at his mistress.

“Roxy, don't you think that you should let John have the full use of his limbs?” you say pointedly. “After all, to quote the Complacency, it matters not the power of the wizard if they have no able and willing warriors to defend them in the first moments of battle.” You pause and raise an eyebrow. “Or, as the texts of the Rogue would have it; 'sneak attacks suck major hairy balls and you should totes not be on the receiving end'.”

Roxy, still attached to a now-blushing John, raises a finger and opens her mouth; she then hesitates, closes her mouth, looks at John, then rests her head on his shoulder and looks at you through slitted eyes. “The text is sneark attacks,” she says, smirking. “And I need his halp, Rosie! Look, I'm all wobbly!”

She holds out her free hand, which does indeed seem slightly shakier than usual. Dirk leans past you, somewhat closer than you are entirely comfortable with. You shoot him a sharp look that has no apparent effect.

“Rox, how much have you had to drink?” he asks. Roxy wiggles the hand in a more deliberate fashion, then when Frigglish puts his claws into her leg lowers it to pet him.

“Some?” she says. “But I didn't bring any with.” She pouts and bats her eyes at him. “I'm dyyying, Dirk!” she moans. “I needs my Johnny!”

Dirk looks up and gestures with two fingers from his masked eyes to John's wide, startled ones. “Watching you, dude,” he says, which seems to settle the matter somehow in his head. He retreats and you take a moment to sigh in relief.

“You know, Rosie,” adds Roxy slowly. “I'm not complootly heartless here. If you ask real nice, maybe I'd be willin' to share my sweet booty.” Her free hand slips down from John's waist and grabs a handful of rump; his yelp is matched by your own face turning a somewhat more crimson shade, and Dirk strides past you, already stretching his arms out to take your sister. Frigglish darts off with a protesting yowl.

“C'mon, lady lore, leave the poor boy alone,” Dave drawls, leaning against a tree and folding his arms. “It ain't right for you to play with him like that, not when he's promised to me.” He points at John. “And I'm expecting a virgin bride, Warden.”

“Pfft, right.” John grins at Dave while he unwraps Roxy from his shoulder and passes her to Dirk, who takes her unsteady fumbling without fuss. “We both know you're marrying your new sword. You spend all your time with her.”

“Dude, this sword is not a chick,” Dave says, raising a hand to pat protectively at the scabbard slung across his back. “This sword is a fucking boss. It is the manliest blade in creation, forged by a tribe of warriors who live at the top of a mountain shaped like a penis and delivered by the most mysterious means...”

“You gave it to me!” Jane protests. You make a mental note to investigate that whole business further at some point, because you don't believe that either of them are lying, and you don't see any way John could have pulled off this prank. You also make a mental note to acquire some reliable method of making more tangible notes as soon as practically possible. Aside from the nagging feeling that there is a pressing reason for you to write your dreams down, you are fairly certain that you will have increasingly large amounts of information to keep track of. Some manner of diary or journal to log your progress would be invaluable.

“Dirk, do you have a moment?” you ask your companion, who is settling Roxy down on a boulder and trying to dodge her familiar wending between his ankles.

“Sure, if Dave's done having inappropriate relations with an underage weapon,” he says, shrugging.

“Bro!” Dave protests, as John bursts into laughter. You ignore them both as Dirk and Jane switch places.

“So, you know anything about this Huntress character handing out cull-orders like it's going out of style?” he asks you. You shake your head.

“Nothing. In fact, I should confess that I was hoping you could cast some illumination on the matter.” You pace a few steps towards the centre of your group, lost in thought. “I recall being informed that Phooka are not the most orthodox adherents, shall we say, to the Pantheon of Light.”

“Well, you've got that right and then some.” Dirk leans back against a tree, his head turning to track you as you move. “Different clans have different theologies, of course.”

“Of course,” you echo. “And yours does not include the Huntress, I take it?”

“Well, actually, it could do.” Dirk strokes his chin, then taps at it with his fingers. “Our clan are Lunars, and Regulus could fit the bill. She's big on hunting things. And big flashy shows of romance, although that helps us less right now.”

“But you can't say more than that?”

“We're not exactly religious types,” Dave interrupts. “Same goes for the rest of our band. It's practically criminal, our education.”

“Oh, I'd imagine so,” Jane says, eyes narrowing at Dave as she gently rubs Roxy's back with one hand.

You frown. “Well, what about the Lunar Lords? I know very little about them, save that they are not included amongst the numbers of the Celestial and Infernal Gods. They are technically Planar Lords, are they not?”

Dirk nods. “Yeah, I think they're technically powerful Outsiders rather than real Gods, but don't ask me what the fucking distinction is or why they get worshipped more than the Elemental Lords.” He purses his lips and pushes off the tree. “I don't know, Oracle. Regulus isn't the sort of goddess who'd order a mass cull without good reason. Kobolds aren't usually good news.”

You sigh. This is getting you nowhere. “Very well. Let us take a brief respite for Roxy to recover from her-” You pause and glare at your sister, who is petting her familiar once again- “exhaustion, and I shall pray to the Seer. Perhaps things shall become clear.”

“Do we have time for that?” John asks, looking from you to Dirk. “I mean, we've only got until the Green Moon is full again, right? How long is that?”

Dirk shrugs. “Two days,” he says. “Counting today, that is.”

“Well, then, shouldn't we be moving on?” John takes a step forwards and you are struck by the memory of him cradling a kobold child in his lap. “We don't have time for breaks, we have to help them, it's not...”

“John!” You hold a hand up when his head snaps round to you. “There is no point to charging blindly ahead,” you explain, as patiently as you can. “And I have the feeling that there is some greater significance to this journey. I wish to spend a short time in meditation, to see if I can recall what that is.”

“Recall?” asks Jane. You nod, remembering the untidy scrawl you managed to get written this morning. If the Huntress is indeed Regulus, you believe you have something to ask her, and it would be most prudent of you to know what that question is before you get the opportunity to make her acquaintance.

Prayer is for you usually a private matter, and your companions have the good grace to retreat far enough to give you the illusion of solitude. Yet in these potentially dangerous surroundings they dare not venture too far and no amount of pretence can keep you from hearing Frigglish mewl, or Dave further John's education in the poetic arts with a composition that seems to be directed at a passing raven.

“Yo, check out that bird there, sitting on the tree. Slick little fucker's smug and staring down at me.”

You kneel in a small pool of sunlight, face turned upwards and eyes closed. There are twigs and stones digging into your knees and you realise that you aren't entirely sure what to do without all the pomp and ceremony of the Church to guide you through prayer.

“Goin' bro, you ain't got wings, and I'll put your ass to shame- you might think that you're a playa but you still ain't got the game.”

You decide that simplest is probably best. You are the chosen Oracle, after all; the Seer should answer you if anyone. Silently you mouth the words to the formal prayer of greeting and try to ignore the sounds of Dirk pacing and Roxy burbling on Jane and Dave trying to teach John battle poetry.

“I am quick, I am sick, I am black as fucking night...”

The sun is warm on your skin, and the forest is full of small noises and a distinct lack of incense. You can't focus, and as you reach the end of the ritual words you can't think what to add.

 _What am I doing?_ you wonder, and your lips move in time to the thought. _What am I supposed to do?_

“I got chicks, I got air, and I'm a harbinger of fright?” John doesn't sound very certain, but you think he's made a very good effort even if the rhythm of his delivery is a little off. Nothing changes in the quality of the sunlight; no divine revelations or visions strike you.

“So the moral of the story is, you might think you are bad, but you got nothing on a raven when it comes to showin' swag.”

With a small sigh, you finish off your prayer and get to your feet, brushing dust and dirt from your skirts. The Phooka garments are less affected by kneeling in leafmould than your temple robes would have been, but that doesn't mean you want to leave them be entirely.

“Anything?” Dirk asks, as everyone turns towards you. You are about to respond when A sly grin crosses John's face and, as fast as lightning, he grabs the back of Dave's mask and yanks it off. The reaction is instantaneous; Dave's hands slam over his face, and Dirk's sword appears at John's throat. You and Jane freeze in immediate horror, unable to act. Roxy blinks at the tableau, and starts to pull herself upright, hands pressed against the tree she was using as a backrest.

“Give that back,” Dirk says, every word perfectly enunciated. John gulps, staring at him with eyes that have gone hugely wide, and gently reaches out to drape the scrap of black cloth over one of Dave's hands. Dirk's sword retreats back into its scabbard, and Dave turns away from all of you to re-fasten his mask.

Jane rediscovers her voice. “What the botheration was that!” she yelps, looking between Dirk and Dave. You will admit to feeling somewhat similar, if not more confused; your sister is patting Dirk's arm reassuringly and you don't know if you're more put out by the fact that what you had thought to be an affectation apparently has enough meaning to threaten killing a comrade, or that Roxy somehow understands this.

“It was just a prank!” John protests. Dirk's lips narrow and you can see that some hasty intervention is called for.

“John, I am shocked that you would even attempt such an act, much less refer to it as a prank.” You step forwards, taking a second to stoop and pick up Frigglish as he pushes himself up against your shins. The familiar's claws dig into your shoulder as you heft him up and you absently scratch between his ears when he mews. John and Jane share an uncertain look.

“Attempt what?” Jane asks. You pause in your petting of Frigglish and raise both eyebrows in surprise.

“Did you not know?” you ask. “How strange, I thought you were both familiar with Phooka traditions. Masks are a sacred matter amongst those who wear them; it is a divine covenant, a dedicated vow to keep one's face covered. To break it, even by accident, is a greatly shameful act.”

Dave has his mask refastened by now and turns. He's not as good at keeping a straight face as Dirk, but John and Jane are so busy looking at you that neither of them notice.

“How shameful?” asks John, slowly, swallowing. You shrug.

“To break a vow made to the gods? One should be fortunate to get away with banishment and exile, I should think. I believe the Phooka brand those they cast out, so that they can never again find family amongst the clans.”

“Is... is that true?” Jane stammers, looking to Dirk for confirmation. You almost giggle when he nods solemnly.

“Oh, yeah,” he says. “Right on the face where everyone can see, which would obviously be a fucking classical tragedy of epic proportions if it were to happen to me or Dave. Plus I'd never be able to acknowledge his existence again, which I guess isn't so bad...”

“Hey, you'd miss me and you know it,” Dave replies, managing to get his smirk under control. “Just think of it, John. Dirk all fucking puffy and shit from crying over me. You'd have to look after that, buddy, because I'll be busy scraping for money and drowning my sorrows.” He tilted his head and held up his hands. “Good thing I was fast with these, or I'd be lookin' at a future of peddling my ass for drink money and dying in a ditch somewhere.”

“I've got ten gold says you'll fuckin' do that anyway,” Dirk says. Dave makes an impolite gesture in his brother's direction and you know you've won when Jane shoots Dirk a sharp look.

“We're sorry, Dave,” she says. “We didn't know the masks were so important... _did we, John?”_

John nods and throws his arms around Dave. “I'm sorry, man!”

“Woah, it's okay Warden, you can get off me... I'm fine, no harm done... what the...”

You can't hold it any longer, and start giggling. Roxy is close behind you, and by the time Frigglish decides he's fed up with this jiggling business and jumps down Dirk is smirking too. Jane, not caught up in hugging Dave, is the first to notice, and her jaw drops.

“You... you bounders!” She waves a finger between all of you, before settling on you. “You tricked us!”

“What?” John disentangles himself and takes in all your faces. “Wow, that was a prank?”

Still chuckling, you nod, and John laughs.

“She got us good, huh, Jane?”

“Yes, I suppose she did.” Jane's mouth is scrunched up oddly, like she's trying to keep it from doing something. “But don't think this is over,” she adds, facing you. “You're a part of this, now, and you might have a jape or two in you but don't think you're a prankster of our standards!”

You acknowledge your acceptance with an incline of the head and are about to say something more when Frigglish sticks his claws into your leg.

“Ow! Accursed animal!” You jump back. “Sister dear, why is your familiar assaulting me?”

“I dunno.” Roxy shuffles over and reaches down to try and lift the cat; Frigglish jumps back and mewls. “D'you want something, sweetie? Let Mommy help...”

You catch Jane mouthing _Mommy?_ at Dirk, who shrugs as the cat mewls again and bounds off around a tree, Roxy in hot pursuit. With a sigh you follow your sister down a muddy slope and shake your head when you see her standing stock still, staring at something on the ground.

“Roxy, we do not have time to...”

You break off as you round a large oak tree and see the person she's staring at. Your first thought is that he's a child, but then your brain notices the different proportions and the leathery skin and the wrinkles and the sideburns and you realise that he's a grown man, just an extremely small one. Standing you don't think he'd come past your waist, but that is just a guess as right now he's half-sitting, half-lying on the ground with his leg caught in the jaws of what seems to be a fairly nasty trap and Frigglish padding across his lap. His large and startlingly dark eyes dart around as your companions approach, and then a lopsided grin appears on his small, pointed face.

“Well, fuck me,” he says in accented but clear Celestial Common. “This is embarrassing.” He gestures to the trap. “Don't suppose you'd help a guy out, would you?”

You've met halflings before, but that was in Porthaven, where they dressed like tiny aasimar and didn't talk much about why they were living amongst the big folk. This man is wearing a necklace of teeth over his moleskin tunic, and two bright feathers in his little peaked cap. Slowly things you remember reading or hearing about traditional halfling culture filter back to you and join up with the trapped man in front of you to create a complete picture. You smile in triumph and fold your arms. The little man doesn't stop smiling, but he also doesn't take his eyes off you as you declare to your fellows:

“Ladies and gentlemen, I do believe we have found ourselves one of the Hidden Ones.”

Your announcement is rather undermined a moment later when Frigglish hacks up a hairball on Dave's boot, but overall you'd still call it a success.

### Suggestions Used

 _1JakoftheMoon1 -_ Rose: stop being so cryptic and let us peer into your mind for a second.

 _WhiteTiger1221 -_ Jane: Relay the information you got from Nakkonik to the party.

 _Ms Arano -_ Roxy: Run out of booze.

 _ttd0000 -_ Rose: Tease sister with excerpts from Holy Text.

 _ttd0000 –_ Roxy: Continue trying to get in John's pants. Also (ironically?) insinuate your willingness to share with Rose.

 _Aryashi -_ Dave: Admire new Piece of Shit sword and wonder at how you got it

 _Ms Arano -_ Dave: Wax eloquent some more on your new sword.

 _WhiteTiger1221 -_ Dave: Continue to covet the sword. Argue with John and Dirk about how creepy you're being.

 _Arienna -_ Rose: Remember to develop a habit for writing in journals.

 _WhiteTiger1221 -_ Dirk  & Rose: Try and remember if you've heard anything about 'The Huntress'

 _Ms Arano -_ Dirk: You have been very quiet recently! Talk with Rose about something important and get the plot moving!

 _nanrea -_ Rose: do some expository delivery on the nature and origins of the lunar lords for the ignorant (ie John and Jane)

 _Ms Arano -_ John: Confirm that you have enough time to gather information and fix whatever it is before the Green Moon turns full.

 _WhiteTiger1221 -_ Rose: Recall vague memories of your dream(s) as your journey continues, probably at inopportune moments.

 _edenfalling -_ Rose: The Huntress whose people you may or may not be in the process of planning to fight is one of the Lords of the Lunar Planes. You have a vague feeling that someone told you to ask her a question, even if you can't remember what the question was. Maybe if you meet the tree-men they can help you contact her...

 _ttd0000 -_ Rose: Pray to Seer for guidance.

 _ttd0000 -_ Dave: Rap at birds.

 _ttd0000 -_ John: Slowly improve in the "Way of the Rap Battle".

 _Unholygrunt –_ John: Get those masks!

 _Asuka Kureru -_ Rose : do something frivolous and fun.

 _Ms Arano -_ Rose: Prank both John and Jane in one epic swoop.

 _WhiteTiger1221 -_ Prank-War: Escalate!!!!!!

 _sionnachsSkulk -_ Frigglish: Be surprisingly incredibly useful and do something awesome. Then puke on Dave.

### System Notes

 **Check for knowledge about the Lunar Lords = DC15 (Dirk)/DC20 (Rose)**  
John, Dave, Jane and Roxy cannot make the appropriate skill/stat check.  
Rose's knowledge religion check = 10  
Rose's knowledge planes check = 17  
Dirk's knowledge religion check = 11  
Dirk's knowledge planes check = 11  
NOBODY KNOWS JACK SHIT. WHAT DO THEY TEACH THEM IN THESE TEMPLES ANYWAY?

 **Check for knowledge about Halflings = DC10**  
John, Dave, Jane and Roxy cannot make the appropriate skill/stat check.  
Rose's knowledge history check = 18  
Dirk's knowledge history check = 12  
OH, STUFF ABOUT HALFLINGS, APPARENTLY.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Thanks to Woe Kitten for making Thyri for me!**
> 
> I made a [post on Tumblr](http://celynbrum.tumblr.com/post/40342053906/i-just-spent-three-hours-sorting-lodad-suggestions#notes) yesterday listing all the suggestions I had at the time: obviously I've used some just now, but just for reference, the count was 274 suggestions, 131 of which were for the Porthaven group.
> 
> Now, I like getting suggestions, and I'm gonna have to keep getting them if the story is to continue, but if you're thinking of suggesting something for this group might I recommend checking what I already have first? Because it is getting a little hard to keep track of everything. Just a little.
> 
> EDIT:  
> Moved the notes from the top of the chapter to the bottom.


	42. ==>Terezi: Go Shopping In The Wretched Hive Of Scum and Villainy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Hero point votes:**  
>  Aradia 3  
> Sollux 1  
> Jade 1

## ==>Terezi: Go Shopping In The Wretched Hive Of Scum and Villainy.

They're waiting for you on the deck as you approach, a small crowd of men and women in mismatched armour who lean on the side of the barge and the edge of the shack warren to grin and nudge one another as your small band gets closer. You're near enough now that you can see the necklaces they're all wearing- strings of fingerbones, you think.

“Alright, when we get there, just let me do the talking, okay?” Karkat is half-turning his head so that you can all hear him and even if it wasn't plain in his voice you would be able to tell how nervous he's getting. “If one of you idiots opens your mouth and gets us all thrown in the oardeck, or the river, then I will spend the rest of my miserable existence making yours even more unspeakably awful.” His face flickers into a furious glare that under different circumstances would make you want to poke his face and snicker. “That goes double for you, sunwalker. I'm not even going to bother asking Gamzee if he understood.”

Jake, balancing on the rope bridge between you and Gamzee, starts trying to ask Karkat more questions about the Bone Maiden. You tune out Karkat's furious response as you draw closer; you know he's got good reason to be nervous. The Bone Maiden was infamous amongst the novitiates and you told your share of scare-stories about demon-worship and cannibalism to the neophytes, but to you she's never been more than another criminal, the clever and vicious leader of a jumped-up Shanties Gang. For Karkat, she's been a very real shadow across his life, the last-ditch safety rope that might just hang you instead.

Possibly literally, in fact, if the bodies overhead are anything to go by. You're almost directly below them now, the stomach-churning scent of rotting elven flesh overpowering the river, and you can see dark stains on the rope bridge where the unfortunates overhead were leaking. You give a mental nod to the Bone Maiden for making her customers pass under her victims, not to mention forcing you all to walk in over a bridge that won't let you carry weapons as you approach. As a negotiation tactic, making your customers glad to escape with their lives is a decent way to get a good deal out of them.

You think Karkat understands that too, because as he reaches the end of the bridge he stops and waits with apparent calmness. The rope sways slightly underfoot; you tighten your grip on the sides a little and stop trying to look past Jake and Gamzee.

“Fresh pickings today,” comments a woman's voice. You can just about see her past your companions, leaning on the edge of the barge and grinning at the four of you. “Well? You coming aboard or not, kid?”

Karkat's shoulders square a little more and he strides forward onto the barge, stopping when he runs into a semi-circle of bone-wearing thugs in his way. Gamzee and Jake step off more hesitantly, freeing you to move forwards. It's difficult not to finger your sword-cane, but you manage to avoid it. Fear to these thugs is more likely to be blood to a drider than anything else.

From the look of things, Karkat's reached the same conclusion. He turns around, arms folded and head held high, to face the woman who spoke. “We're here to see the Bone Maiden,” he says. 

Her brow raises and she leans back on the rail. “Oh? And what makes you think you should get to see her, rather than, say, getting yourselves thrown over the side?” She looks down over the side, her motions exaggerated and almost theatrical. “Fuck me, would you look at the teeth on that fish?”

The thugs snigger, but the tight little smirk on Karkat's face is good enough to match and like you he's got her pegged as the ringleader. You can't hear what he whispers when he leans in, but you can see his lips move and nine hundred gold is a figure you gave him to begin with.

The woman's face flattens into seriousness and she cuts the other thugs off with a sharp gesture. “Weapons,” she says, holding out her hand.

After a momentary pause, the rest of your group comply, handing over sickles and crossbows. Jake hesitates before he gives over his gun, and although you give up your own standard-issue crossbow you hang onto Incorruptible. Unless someone looks closely, they won't notice that your swordcane is anything but an elegant walking-stick, and you don't intend to put a holy Temple relic into the hands of criminals.

The guard seems satisfied with this, stowing your weapons on her belt then making a gesture to the rest of the Bone Maiden's followers. Two of them step aside and she walks through the gap. “This way,” she says, not looking around. “Don't touch anything.”

Karkat follows as she marches into the narrow gap between two shacks, Gamzee hurrying to walk in his shadow and Jake only a few steps behind. You fight the urge to look left and right at everything as you pass through the maze of the upper deck, but it's frustrating. For so many years you would have killed for a chance to know this boat existed, to storm it with a team of Lawkeepers and put an end to its part in the trade of elven misery and broken laws. Walking onto it as a welcomed guest feels strange, and in no small part wrong.

You try to distract yourself by focusing on Jake's back, which is to your mind a very fine back indeed. The fact that he doesn't seem to realise just how attractive he is only makes him more appealing; you wonder if he's a virgin, and decide that whatever the case he's lucky he was snapped up by someone so powerful as Lady Yetenekli and at such a busy time. Hells, you're amazed Gamzee managed to keep his hands off for as long as he has...

You frown slightly, although you're still walking along narrow passages and nobody looks back to notice your expression. You've been trying not to think about Gamzee too hard. It's not that the sex wasn't fun- the complete opposite, actually, you don't remember the last time you had such a _creative_ partner- but last night wasn't the best time and usually you have more restraint.

To tell the truth, you hadn't even paid that much heed to Gamzee until Karkat and Jake left the two of you alone. He'd been annoying, sure, but he'd been critical in helping with the plan and you were willing to accept that he'd not been treated that well to start with. Then when you were alone with him he was lying there babbling on about miracles and how it was great to be free when nothing was fixed or even finished yet and you'd just left your whole life behind you, and somehow it was like he was doing it just to annoy you. So then you'd kissed him, which had been really effective at shutting his stupid whore mouth up. Things escalated from there, and the part that's still scaring you is how right it felt. Like it wasn't just a casual lay or a way to release some tension, but like you hated him and wanted to claw his eyes out and fuck him until he begged for more, and judging by what he was growling Gamzee was feeling the same way about you.

It's not the same now, but you can still feel the ugly black ball of disgust and attraction is sitting inside you, and you prod at your feelings like a rotten tooth. This would be hard enough even if Karkat wasn't upset about it. You don't know how to explain to him that he's not going to lose Gamzee to you; whatever happened last night, it's nothing like how Gamzee feels for his brother.

Your thoughts are cut short by a rattle as the woman leads you through a curtain of threaded beads and down three steps into a room unlike any you've seen before. A heavy haze of smoke from burning lanterns fills the air, drifting around piles of soft cushions and elegant but mismatched furniture. You see the glint of firelight on gold all around, the chipped and patched chitin walls covered by thick drapes and tapestries that overlap one another and trail across the floor. Looking more closely you can see that some of the cushions are a little threadbare, the furniture chipped, the gold piled haphazardly with other, less glittering loot. This place is a treasure-cave, but a poor one.

Looking at your companions you can see that Gamzee is hardly registering the surroundings at all, but your small sneer is turned away when you see Jake's curiosity and melts completely in the face of Karkat's wide-eyed wonder. They've both seen true opulence and wealth in the Kutsanmis manor, but although you don't know much about dwarves you suppose that this, for the Shanties, is riches beyond imagining. You revise your estimate of the room from “crass storehouse” to “show of power” and remind yourself that the woman you're here to deal with is, in her own way, every bit as powerful and ruthless as a Matriarch or High Priestess.

“Mother!” calls the woman who led you in here, and you see Karkat and Jake look at her in surprise. You wonder whether she's actually the Bone Maiden's daughter, or whether this is what all of her followers call her. “Mother, you have visitors!”

Something shifts in the darkness at the far end of the room; there is a clattering sound, and out of the shadows a woman emerges. For a terrifying instant that brings to mind every nightmare story you ever heard of her, you think that she has a skull for a head, then you see the outline of her nose and you realise that it's facepaint. Two glittering orange eyes regard you as she draws closer, the edge of her white spidersilk gown brushing the floor with a whispering sound. Her hair is almost as long and it hangs behind her like a heavy cloak.

The theatrics are impressive enough to make Karkat tense, and Jake step back. Even Gamzee manages to pay attention to her as she steps up close. With a jolt you realise that she's no taller than Karkat, although her weight is healthier. Chances are she grew up here, just like he did, casteless and outcast.

“Why do you bring me trouble, daughter?” the Bone Maiden asks in a gentle voice, her gaze switching between the four of you. “I see four runaways here, ones who will be sought at that.”

“They want to trade, Mother,” your guide says. “And they have things of value. No risk, no return- I thought you'd want to decide.”

The Bone Maiden nods. “Hm.” She points at you. “That one is armed.”

Your guide looks at you, confused. “I... she... what?”

“Her cane, girl, her cane!” The Bone Maiden snorts. “Have you no eyes in your head? It's a sword!”

The other woman's eyes narrow and she holds her hand out to you stiffly. You shrug and drop your cane into it, trying to hide how uncomfortable you feel surrendering it and hoping that you haven't just got everyone killed.

“How did they get past the bridge guard?” the Bone Maiden asks, seemingly not perturbed by the incident. Maybe people smuggle weapons this far all the time. You feel a little embarrassed at getting caught like a petty thief with a knife in her boot.

Karkat shudders when the guide points to him in accusation. “He knocked him down in a single blow, Mother. It was fuckin' sweet as shit.”

“Language, girl,” the Bone Maiden says calmly, taking a step closer to Karkat and leaning in to examine him closely. You can see him struggling not to back up as her nose hovers inches from his own. “Alive or dead?” There is silence for a moment, and the Bone Maiden frowns at Karkat. “I am talking to you, boy. Is my guard alive or dead?”

“Alive.” Karkat's voice comes out as a squeak and he takes a shuddery breath, swallows. “Alive,” he says in more normal tones. “I didn't want to kill anyone that was yours. Ma'am.”

The Bone Maiden snorts. “Liar. Everyone wants to kill my guards, they just don't dare.” She turns away and walks back to an ornate metal chair, seating herself before smiling at the four of you. “Don't lie to me again, boy. Do you understand?”

“Yes, ma'am,” says Karkat. Gamzee's giving him the strangest look, probably because he's never seen Karkat so polite.

The Bone Maiden taps her fingers on the arm of the chair. “I have many ears,” she says slowly. “And they tell me many things. Last night they told me of chaos at House Kutsanmis; a metal monster unleashed on a wedding and an alliance destroyed. House Yetenekli blames the Temple of the Seer and a war that has been brewing for decades and more between the nobility and the holy orders is all the closer for it.” She narrows her eyes. “My ears tell me that the Kutsanmis bridegroom went missing in the chaos, as did the head of the Temple Lawkeepers present.” One hand rises and points at the symbol on Gamzee's, then moves to your own Lawkeeper mark. “Those are some fine armours you wear, little ones, and I find myself wondering exactly what it is that you seek here.”

There is a long moment of silence, then Karkat's arms fold. “What do you fucking think we want?” he yells. “We're here to fucking trade, okay? We want to give you all the nice pretty valuable things that we have absolutely no use for and take all the things we need to have the remotest chance of not dying a horrible, gory death in the Deep Caverns! And I know that maybe you won't want to deal with us but at this point we are fucking out of options, so help us or kill us, but don't waste time because we don't have any spare!”

Three looks of horror turn on Karkat, joined by a fourth as his brain catches up with his mouth and he thinks about what he just said and to who. You only spare him a brief glance, instead keeping your eyes trained on the Bone Maiden, and as you suspected there is a small smile playing on her painted face. You wouldn't have made it this far if she didn't appreciate people with the guts to push back.

“Very well,” she says, ignoring the way everyone's attention snaps back round to her. She reaches out and pulls a small table into her reach; the top of it is taken over by a beautifully carved Stratagem board. The game pieces are beautiful, carved ivory and ebony, and the sandglass on the side looks to be made from real wood. “I like to play whilst I negotiate,” she says. “So which of you will join me?”

You and Karkat share a look, and the four of you go into a huddle.

“Okay, I have no fucking clue how to play this game,” Karkat whispers. “Terezi?”

You nod. “I played it at Temple,” you reply.

“Can you win?” Jake asks. “I mean, she's got to be bally good at it.”

“Winning isn't the point, dumbass,” says Karkat, before you can cut in. “Managing to keep your wits about you while playing is, and since Terezi knows what all of our stuff is worth I vote she plays the Bone Maiden's game. The rest of us can look for stuff we want in this junkheap.”

“Think she can hear you, bro,” says Gamzee, and Karkat's head bobs up. The Bone Maiden gives him a little wave and he curses, ducking his head back down again.

“Is there anything I need to know?” you ask him. He shakes his head.

“How the fuck should I know? Just use your sense. You have some at least.” He pauses, purses his lips. “Be careful,” he adds in a gentler, quieter tone that you have to strain to hear. “There's something about her... does it make sense to be reminded of someone without knowing who that someone is?”

You shake your head and he sighs. “Whatever. I just feel- and I know this doesn't make any sense- but I think that although she likes a challenge, she probably hates to lose. Don't push her into cheating.”

There's something strangely certain behind the words, and you nod your thanks to Karkat as you step back. You don't know what he's perceiving, exactly, but you're willing to listen.

The Bone Maiden graces you with a smile as you find another chair and draw it up to the game board opposite her. “Have you played Stratagem before?” she asks. “I can explain the rules, if you have not.”

“I've played,” you tell her. “But perhaps you should explain the rules anyway, as you play them. I wouldn't want us to fall out over a misunderstanding or difference in interpretation.”

She nods. “An excellent thought.” You keep half your mind listening as she runs through the rules, which are mostly the same as the way you've played in the past if a little harsher on the matter of when one has and has not made a move. The other half of your attention is hovering with the rest of your group as they unload the various items you have for sale into a pile next to the game board. The guard is still there, and you notice as she sidles up to Jake and whispers something that turns him bright red.

“So, do you have any questions about the game?” the Bone Maiden asks. You shake your head.

“No, that all seems clear.” You check the board in front of you; she's given you the ivory pieces. “I go first, then.”

The Bone Maiden shrugs. “I've always preferred to act second. I hope you don't mind?”

“Not at all.” You push your first thrall piece forwards in a standard opening gambit and flip the sandglass. “Personally I like to take the initiative. As you can see, we have quite a few things to get rid of, some of them quite valuable.” Out of the corner of your eye you can see the guard slipping an arm around Jake's waist; he steps away.

“There is value and there is value,” the Bone Maiden says, pushing one of her own thralls out. “My customers have little use for much of what you are selling.” The sandglass flips again and you hear Jake saying _look, I'm very flattered, but you're really not my type..._

“You don't seem to have had trouble buying gold in the past,” you say, indicating the piles of valuables all around. “Why should ours be different?” You make your move and flip the sandglass.

The Bone Maiden shakes her head and rests one of her fingers on a piece. “And, as you can see, I've had terrible trouble selling it on.” She moves the Warrior. “Besides, the gold is hardly the greatest problem. What use do I have for marked armour, or the wedding clothes of nobility?”

You snort, still trying to keep half an eye on Jake as the guard starts backing him into a corner. Silently you pray that she's just playing with him; you don't think Jake will just accept his lot and keep her entertained, and you also don't think you can make it off this barge alive if he doesn't. “I suppose that depends on whether you or any of your followers have a need to impersonate a Lawkeeper, or a member of the nobility.” You flip the glass.

“You are trying to sell me junk and call it treasure,” the Bone Maiden says, making her move fast.

“You are trying to buy my treasure and pay me for junk,” you retort. “We're not leaving here without what we need, and you'll owe us more than that.” Out of the corner of your eye you see Karkat and Gamzee moving towards Jake and the guard.

“What do you need?” the Bone Maiden asks, her move fast and brutal. One of your thralls vanishes from the board.

“Oh, the basics,” you say. “Food for travelling, healing supplies, blankets and bedrolls.” You grin as you move another thrall and take her warrior. “Some new clothes and armour to replace the ones we're selling you.”

The Bone Maiden nods, but your attention is taken by Gamzee running a hand down the guard's arm. She looks round at him, away from Jake; you can't hear what he's saying, but the body language might as well be shouting. Conflicted feelings churn in your stomach; part of you wants to be glad that Gamzee has found a way to solve the problem, but a larger part of you is disgusted by the fact that he really will spread them for the slightest reason. You try to ignore entirely the part of you that wishes you were in the guard's place right now.

The sandglass flips and it's your move. You haven't heard a word the Bone Maiden has said and you move your piece silently, bluffing a plan to hide your ignorance as you turn the glass. She studies the state of the board for a few seconds.

“Interesting move,” she says. “But not, I think, one to your advantage.” She shifts her second Warrior piece across and takes your Templar. “You understand, I can't simply agree to trade 'more' without at least some idea of how much more that is.”

You hope that the flush on your face doesn't show in the darkness of the room; you can hear the sound of breathless, sloppy kissing and fondling from the corner where Gamzee led the guard, and you don't dare to look around and see more. “By my calculation, what we need should only cover a fourth or so of what we are selling,” you reply, taking another of her pieces and laying it to the side. “You'll owe us six or seven hundred gold in goods.”

“For items with only limited value to me?” The Bone Maiden makes her move fast. “I think not.”

“Look at it this way,” you say, moving in kind. “Perhaps we can take some of your other limited value goods in exchange. I'm sure there must be something we can afford that nobody else could.”

“An interesting offer,” the Bone Maiden agrees. “And one worth considering. So long as the value of the items is acceptable to all.” She shifts a piece forwards and nods. “You are cornered, my dear.”

“I am,” you agree, knocking your General down in surrender. “We have an agreement, then?”

The Bone Maiden nods and stands. “Indeed.” She inclines her head to you, a slight bow, and you do the same. A breath of relief escapes you as she steps away from the game board. The pair of you were closely matched at Stratagem, and losing without it looking deliberate was hard work.

Karkat and Jake have assembled a second pile next to the stack of things you intend to sell, and you look it over. They seem to have found most of the basic supplies you wanted, including a small stack of patched but hardy-looking clothes. Your eyes go wide when you see the long red coat at the side of the pile, and Karkat snorts when you dart forward and lift it up. It's surprisingly heavy, and you hear the clink of metal plates as it moves.

“Why am I not surprised that you went straight for the most hideous armour in the entire place?” he says. You smile, silently thanking him for fetching it for you.

The Bone Maiden studies your pile of loot, then turns to the far corner. “Daughter!” she snaps. “Daughter, get over here!”

There is some rustling and clattering, and the guard appears again looking sheepish. You study her more closely, as Gamzee makes an equally rumpled reappearance; it's hard to compare their faces under the Bone Maiden's paint, but the guard has the same orange eyes, and although she's too tall to be underfed she moves like Karkat. So, it's not just a figure of speech; she really is the Bone Maiden's child.

“Sorry, Mother,” she mutters. The Bone Maiden slaps her.

“You are supposed to be keeping me from being robbed blind and murdered in my home, not chasing tail!” she snaps. “Check them, you insufferable pup!”

The guard bobs her head and goes to frisk Karkat and Jake. It's a quick, professional job, and her hands barely even linger on Jake's ass for more than a second.

“They're clean,” she reports. The Bone Maiden nods.

“I do apologise,” she says to your companions. “But far too many people come into this room and think that they can take something which is not theirs.” She smiles and claps her hands together. “Now! Is there anything else that you would like to add to this pile, before I take you to see my more _precious_ collection?”

Karkat looks over at you and you shrug, but a moment later from behind you Gamzee says; “Pesh.”

You all turn to look at him and he shrugs. “I just... I ain't all up and knowing when we're gonna be able to be getting some more of that miracle shit, and I don't wanna be running out, so if we got the means it'd be all wicked and shit for if we could be getting some more.”

Karkat nods. “Yeah, okay.” He turns to the Bone Maiden. “Three doses?”

She nods. “They'll be here when we return.” Her daughter catches the glance sent her way and jogs off, taking your weapons with her. The Bone Maiden steps towards the back of the room. “This way, then.”

She leads you past the heaps of stolen treasures to a small door; you step through into another dark, lamplit room and blink as you take in the contents. Racks of weapons line the walls of the small chamber, and items gleam in chests and on shelves. You wonder how much magic you would smell if you spoke the holy words in this room.

“Here is where I keep the things too valuable for most of my customers,” the Bone Maiden says. “So, do you have any idea what you might be looking for?”

Karkat looks around from his examination of a sickle on one of the racks. “We could pick up a weapon for Jake.”

“I already have a weapon!” Jake says. “Or I shall once I'm given it back, at any rate!”

“Yeah, a ranged weapon, which makes a noise like a rockfall every time you fire it,” Karkat replies, stepping away from the shelves. “Trust fucking sunwalkers and dwarves to come up with an overly complicated piece of shit that draws attention, ruins people's hearing, and is a fucking nightmare to reload.” He jabs Jake in the chest with a finger. “You need a proper fucking weapon, one that works on people who are right in front of you!”

“I can shoot people right in front of me!” Jake protests. You shake your head and step between them before they get carried away.

“Karkat's right,” you tell him. “Find a melee weapon.”

“But...” Jake looks between the two of you and sighs. “Oh, fine. Have it your way! Bally cheek...” He stomps off to examine the weapon racks and you look around the room a little more. You don't see anything that would replace Incorruptible, though, and if any of these are magical then they're out of your budget and both you and the Bone Maiden know it.

You look around again to check on your group, and see that Karkat has gravitated back to the sickle on the shelf. He's staring at it, fingers twitching, and you're about to say something when Jake appears at your elbow carrying some sort of large hooked hammer thing and a sash covered in leather pouches.

“Found it!” he says cheerfully. “I wouldn't have thought that she would have a proper pick hammer down here. It's quite a find, isn't it? And I found this handy sash too- I thought I could put my ammunition in here, you see, and...” he follows you gaze and his voice drops. “Oh, I say, that sickle looks pretty pricey. You don't think Karkat would- no, what am I saying, he's not that stupid.”

“He doesn't have to be,” you say, then cup your hands around your mouth. “If you want it, Karkles, just pick it up! In fact...” you turn and your eyes did not deceive you, there is a sickle lying on the rack just below you and to your left. “Here! Have two!”

Your heart melts a little when you walk over and put both sickles into Karkat's hands. They're beautiful weapons, not in the sense of being decorated but in the sense that every line of them is perfect for its purpose. You can see the quality of the blades, feel the balance in the handle, and although they're mismatched they both remind you perfectly of him, plain and businesslike and lethal. The look on Karkat's face would be hilarious if it wasn't heartbreaking, and you feel momentarily jealous as Gamzee slips an arm around his shoulder and squeezes your little Shanty thief.

“We can't afford this,” Karkat says after a moment. He sounds heartbroken.

“You can,” the Bone Maiden says, and you could swear that you hear a little sympathy in her voice. It's gone a moment later as she turns to face you. “In fact, I would say that those two cover most of the outstanding debt, wouldn't you, Lawkeeper?”

“Most,” you agree. “We also take what Jake is holding, and I'd like one other thing. Just to be sure that we're square.”

The Bone Maiden's eyes narrow. “Those sickles are well made. Very valuable.”

You shrug. “So is what we're giving you.” You wave an arm around the room. “Come on, there must be something in here that you can't shift otherwise.”

The Bone Maiden's lips tighten, but then she seems to hesitate, and slowly she nods. “Well, now you mention it,” she says, walking past you and reaching up onto a shelf. “There is one thing.” She takes down a small box and opens it, reaching her finger into the casket. She pulls it out hooked through a chain, which rises a foot before the end of the pendant appears. It looks as though it should be circular, but about half of the amulet is missing; a jagged fracture runs across the metal, breaking away half of a shield-shaped symbol.

“I was left this many years ago by a man who swore he would be back to reclaim it,” she says. “I've asked questions since, and this is half of an amulet that supposedly once belonged to the Labyrinth Maker. It is said that if both halves are united, one can navigate the Great Maze and find his treasures.” She shrugs. “I have no desire to go searching for one half of a mythical amulet, and without its partner this is almost worthless. I may as well be rid of it, if it keeps you quiet.”

You accept the pendant from her hands with a nod. “What about the man who left it?” you ask.

“Most likely dead by now,” the Bone Maiden says. “But if you reach the surface, and meet a drow named Alekor, you might want to ask him how his quest goes.”

“Yes, because Alekor isn't a common name at all, even amongst the vanishingly small number of people who've actually tried to make it to the surface, let alone succeeded,” Karkat grumbles, hugging his sickles close and leaning against Gamzee.

The Bone Maiden gives him a strange look. “Oh, I think you shall know Alekor, if you see him,” she says, a small smile on her lips. “Give him my love if you do.”

Karkat looks puzzled, but you file that away for future reference. You'll be asking after an Alekor, if you get the chance.

Your deal finalised, you all head back into the other room to find that your old property has vanished and your weapons have been left atop the pile of your new possessions along with a nearly wrapped bundle of what you assume to be Pesh. Karkat drops his new sickles with the weapons, and tosses his old ones- chipped and rag-wrapped- off to the side.

“Here, you can have these too,” he mutters. The Bone Maiden smiles and settles back into her chair.

“I believe you are wearing some of my property,” she says. You can see the moment where it hits Karkat that he's going to have to change in front of her, and he starts pulling his armour off with a curse. You snicker and start shucking yours; it only takes you a couple of minutes to get it off and replace it with your new red coat, and then you grab your weapons and scoot out of the door.

Your guide from earlier is waiting outside, and she gives you a nod as you settle leaning against the wall opposite her. You nod back, wondering how many siblings she has. It would only take one or two clutches for the Bone Maiden to have a solid cadre of lieutenants; given how long she's been around, it's possible her entire gang is tied to her by blood. You try to calculate just how many eggs a woman can hatch over the course of half a century, and even allowing for natural attrition the picture is hardly comforting.

Karkat is the next one out, his face flushed dark red as he stomps out. The mithral chain looks different over real clothes, more like solid armour and less like a pretty decoration, and combined with the sickles he hardly looks like a Shanty brat at all.

“Fuck my life,” he declares, and slumps to the ground next to you. You chuckle and crouch down next to him.

“Come on, Karkles. You can hardly blame us all for wanting a closer look at your delectable cherry-red self, especially when you get so adorably shy about it.”

“I am not fucking adorable!” Karkat bats you away and glares angrily. He looks like an angry kitten and you ruffle his hair, choking back laughter.

“No, you're not,” you agree. “You're precious.” His incoherent spluttering is worth it; you watch him and it strikes you how much you love to see him like this, full of life and fighting the world. He's not made to be defeated, and your heart sticks in your throat when you remember how bitter he was this morning. You don't know what you've taken from him; you just know that you want to give it back.

“Karkat,” you say gently, reaching one of your hands out to rest on his. “You know, me and Gamzee... I'm not trying to take him away from you.”

“Of course I fucking know that,” Karkat snaps. “How many times have I got to explain this before you people believe that I'm not fucking him? I wouldn't want to fuck him if he was the last breathing humanoid in the world and the survival of all elfkind hinged on it, which is biologically improbable to say the least. I'm not his lover and I'm not his whore; I don't give a shit who he screws and how you choose to spend your time is even less of my business!” His head snaps round to glare at the guard. “What are you fucking staring at?” he snarls. She shakes her head and raises her hands; you can see tears glittering in Karkat's eyes and you put an arm around his shoulder.

“I'm sorry,” you tell him, and it doesn't matter that you don't know why because not even Karkat knows why this has upset him so badly. “I can stop this, if you want. I wasn't trying to use him, or steal him, or hurt you. Whatever this thing is, between me and Gamzee, it's stronger than lust but it's not love, and I deserve more than that.” You pause, consider your words, and decide to add something that feels like a lie to even think but which is probably true nonetheless. “Gamzee deserves more than that, too.”

 _More_ isn't the same as _better,_ either, but you don't say that. Karkat leans against you and breathes deeply.

“I'm not fucking okay with this,” he says, eventually. “And I don't know if I ever will be. But I'll talk to Gamzee, and if this is important to you, to both of you...” he sighs. “Just keep it the fuck out of my way. I want to pretend it's not happening and if I have to see or hear the two of you suck face ever again I will explode in a ball of fiery rage and rain down upon the landscape.”

You snicker and give him a little shove; he pushes back and the two of you get into a slap-war that is interrupted when the door opens again and Jake and Gamzee emerge. Jake looks as sharp as Karkat, but you take one look at Gamzee and start cackling. He scowls at you, and Karkat stands to go and give him a hug and brush imaginary lint off his shoulder.

“You look great,” he says. Gamzee shifts about and pulls a face.

“These clothes is all being itchy as shit, bro,” he whines, scratching at an arm. You laugh again, because you're pretty sure a lifetime of luxury has done nothing to prepare him for what's coming and if he thinks normal clothes and some hide armour are uncomfortable, you're looking forward to seeing how he handles camping out.

The thought reminds you that you all have places to be, and you push yourself to your feet and pull your thoughts together. You still aren't sure what you're going to do about your weird relationship triangle with Gamzee and Karkat, but that can wait until after you've dealt with leaving the city.

“We're ready,” you tell the guard, and she nods, setting back off to lead you through the maze of the barge. You're at the front of the group this time, which makes it far harder to ignore your surroundings. You decide not to bother. You've already done your deal with the Bone Maiden, and everyone involved knows that you're not planning to come back.

You're back on the forecourt of the barge in what seems like no time, equipped and ready to go. Your guide waves a hand to the rope bridge and you smile back with a little bow. Gamzee waves and steps out onto the rope bridge. You're just about to follow him when one of the Bone Maiden's thugs shouts in alarm and points to the bank.

Across the bridge, standing on the far side, is a small unit of guardsmen in Kutsanmis purple; at their head is a man you recognise, although he's wearing more clothes than when you last saw him. Mohan's golden paint flashes in the dim light of the Shanties, gleaming almost as hard as the mithral chain he's wearing over the purple of the House he serves.

“My Lord Kutsanmis!” he shouts, and there's no mistaking the gleeful tone of his voice. “Rejoice, for we have come to rescue you from your kidnappers!”

Gamzee freezes on the bridge, swaying slightly with the motion of the rope. Beside you Jake starts to fumble to load his dwarvish pistol weapon, but Karkat finds his voice first.

“Fuck off!” he hollers, leaning over the side of the barge. “You should be fucking celebrating, you slimy piece of shit, we're finally getting out of your life forever!”

Mohan holds a hand to his heart. “I am hurt,” he calls, his voice carrying across the water without strain. “Or I would be if I cared for the words of a gutter whore. I am sent by my mistress to retrieve her son, and by his betrothed to retrieve her property.” He points to Jake. “By which I mean him. She may have given me the means to track you both, but make no mistake, brat. You will be lucky if I kill you first!”

“Unlike some overly-golden assholes in the near vicinity, I am not a fucking whore!” Karkat shouts back. “And what are you going to do? Shoot us? We'll be off this ship by another bridge before your crossbows can even aim, fuckass!”

“Then I suppose I'll have to use a different tactic!” Mohan's laugh is enough to give you warning even if the way his hands raise was not, but even that isn't enough to prepare you when a lashing tongue of fire jumps from the air in front of him and races across the bridge to slam into Karkat before arcing around towards Jake. You see them both jump aside from the flaming lash, but Karkat slams into the deck next to you. The smell of charred hair and cloth meets your nostrils and Karkat grunts, biting back on a scream as scorched flesh scrapes on the deck.

There is a yell from the bridge and Gamzee lurches. You look up to see him teetering and meet his eyes just as they widen, then he's gone, dropping through the gap between the foot-rope and the handholds. A loud explosion goes off next to you and Mohan staggers back; you look up to see Jake holstering his gun weapon, a thin plume of smoke drifting from the barrel.

“Come on!” he shouts, grabbing one of Karkat's arms and looping it around his shoulder. “We have to go after Gamzee!”

You glance down at the roiling, discoloured water of the river below, then again at Mohan, who is straightening with vengeance in every line of his body.

“Sure, that sounds great!” you say, laughing madly as you help manoeuvre Karkat to the rail. He looks between the two of you in panic.

“What? No! I know you're both completely mad, but this is beyond insane! We're going to fucking die!”

“Chin up, Karkat!” says Jake with a grin. “No pain, no gain and all that!”

“Besides,” you add as you lean him over the rail, “how else are we going to catch up with Gamzee?”

“I HATE YOU BOTH FOREVAAAAAAAAAAH!”

Fire flashes above you as you hurtle towards the water, and you hear the distant _swish-thunk_ of crossbows being fired. Then the river slams into you, and you don't see anything more.

### Suggestions Used

 _Ephemeral_Dreamer -_ Karkat: Try desperately to keep this group of suicidal nutjobs from being killed

 _ttd0000 -_ Bone Maiden: Be amused by ragtag group's moxie.

 _BubbleBtch -_ Karkat: Get weird ass flash backs of a Huge B8tch while talking to the badass lady

 _ttd0000 -_ Terezi: Play Speed Chess with bone lady, both metaphorical and literal.

 _TanukiKyle -_ Terezi: Continue being awesome

 _unholygrunt -_ Everyone should fall in love with Jake and he promptly falls in love with a ghost.

 _ttd0000 –_ Everybody that makes sense: Be attracted to [Jake] at first sight. I find that as hilarious a running gag as Roxy trying to get in [John's] pants.

 _Arienna -_ Jake: Make new friends! And be hit on by every last one of them.

 _BubbleBtch -_ Gamzee: Hit on guard.

 _BubbleBtch -_ Gamzee: get sloppy makeouts from guard

 _BubbleBtch -_ Everyone: ignore Gamzee's shenanigans

 _Arienna -_ Terezi: Try to make sure that everyone actually gets paid a decent fraction of what the items they're selling should be worth.

 _Sandi -_ Gamzee, Karkat, and Jake: Sell or trade at least the showy parts of your outfits - not only might they hinder you, but you do not need to draw attention like that in the Shanties by indicating you have wealth to steal! Use them to get better armor for Gamzee and a new trance journal for Karkat (since Terezi does not seem to plan to give his back).

 _Ephemeral_Dreamer -_ Gamzee: Acquire some more Pesh.

 _ttd0000 –_ Karkat and Terezi: discuss with Jake the problems of using a single-shot ranged weapon as his only weapon.

 _ttd0000 -_ Jake: Be briefly worried about Karkat stealing from the Bone Maiden, then berate yourself, he's a thief, not stupid.

 _ttd0000 -_ Karkat: Attempt to refrain from stealing that unusually tempting and shiny pair of magic sickles from the Bone Maiden.

 _Asuka Kureru -_ Karkat : Do not make an enemy of the person who's going to give you her money! Hopefully!

 _Arienna -_ Karkat: Pick up better sickles, if you can.

 _ttd0000 -_ Dwarf Group/Underdark Group: Pick up obvious Plot Coupon for some other "chosen one's" grand adventure.

 _BubbleBtch -_ Karkat: be adorable

 _BubbleBtch -_ Karkat: immediately deny you're adorable while continuing to be adorable

 _BubbleBtch -_ Karkat: ascend to Precious.

 _1JakoftheMoon1 -_ Karkat: reexplain your platonic relationship with Gamzee to Terezi, and anyone else who starts getting ideas. With a vengeance (if that pairing changes at any time, this one can go out the window.)

 _ttd0000 -_ Terezi: Convince others that the occasional/regular hate-snogs with the drug-addled runaway does not take precedence over a healthier relationship just because it came first.

 _MASK -_ Terezi: GET AHOLD OF YOURSELF, WOMAN!

 _ttd0000 -_ Terezi: Push regrets of one night stand aside, focus on completing escape.

 _edenfalling -_ Lady Yetenkeli: use the tracking spells on the armor and tunics that you provided your new slaves (it's only good sense to be able to locate your property!) and hunt them down.

 _WhiteTiger1221 -_ Mohan: Volunteer to help capture the Kutsanmis child and to kill that gutter-rat. You'll take pleasure in that last one.

 _1JakoftheMoon1 -_ Mohan: be an underdragon. It is you.

 _1JakoftheMoon1 -_ Jake: Shoot the jerkass murderer guy. Then run like hell.

 _Asuka Kureru -_ Gamzee: fall in the water.

[System Notes](http://celynbrum.tumblr.com/post/59704554315/lodad-system-notes-chapter-42)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, you know the cost of two masterwork sickles such as the ones Karkat just bought? 612 gold pieces.
> 
> o.O
> 
> Hooomestuuuck...
> 
> Also I statted Mohan. That took much time. :/
> 
> EDIT: Just as a note- I know the suggestion says that Mohan should be a dragon, but he's not. He's a Level 5 Draconic Bloodline Sorcerer/Level 1 Dragon Disciple, and I cheated to make him Underworld Dragon bloodline. Close enough, right?
> 
> EDIT 2:  
> Moved the notes from the top of the chapter to the bottom, and farmed system notes out to Tumblr.


	43. -- THE MAGE OF DOOM --

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Hero point votes:**  
>  Aradia 3  
> Sollux 1  
> Jade 1  
> Roxy 1  
> Terezi 1  
> ARADIA GAINS ONE HERO POINT!  
> Voting now open for the next Hero Point award: one person will get one after three chapters.

## THE MAGE OF DOOM

[](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/7e4axcokz2iisdo/Mage%20of%20Doom.png?dl=0)

_Arcane Lord, the Cursed God, the Eyeless Prophet, Fatewriter_

ALIGNMENT: Chaotic Neutral

PORTFOLIO: Magic, Misfortune, Invention, Torment

DOMAINS: Magic (Arcane), Luck (Curse), Rune (), Darkness (Loss), Chaos (Entropy), Knowledge (Thought)

FAVOURED WEAPON: Shuriken

THE MAGE OF DOOM is a god accursed, haunted by restless spirits and the spectre of despair, but despite or perhaps because of this his power over the arcane arts is second to none.

HISTORY  
There are few tales told of the Mage, and fewer instances of his intervention in mortal affairs. He has long been an absent god, well suited to followers who prefer to look to their own interests, and from their writings his absence is usually considered the greater blessing as misfortune and ill fate follow wherever the god treads.

PANTHEONS AND RELATIONSHIPS  
The Mage of Doom appears in the worship of one pantheon and a duo as well as individually.

In the PANTHEON OF BLOOD, he is a close ally of the KNIGHT OF BLOOD and sorrowing husband of the MAID OF TIME. His role is that of reluctant consultant to the other deities, who approach him for favours that only his power can grant. His place in this pantheon emphasises his ill-fated nature and rule over the arcane, and shows him as disinterested in the affairs of others.

As one of the DREAMLORDS, his gifts of prophecy and foresight are emphasised, his insights and powers of thought forming a counterpoint to the more energetic and physical MAID OF TIME. He is said by followers of the pair to be the source of invention and the font of dedication.

Alone, he is the deity of scholarship and research, but also of misfortune and dark fate. His appearances in the legends of others are as an ill-tempered expert, prophet or guide who must be consulted to continue; rarely does he welcome the company of others, despite an apparent fondness for the KNIGHT OF BLOOD and the MAID OF TIME. Those who worship him do so in the hopes that he will either bless them with insight or refrain from cursing their efforts, and stories of his exploits often come down to either the laying or the breaking of a geas.

As an antagonist to other pantheons or deities, he is the herald of death and the spiteful warlock who sends the unwary to their deaths to remove them from his presence. His aspect is that of the maddened wizard or the unscrupulous researcher, an impression not dispelled by the fact that his more devout followers often do tend towards such natures.

APPEARANCE AND EMISSARIES  
The Mage of Doom is most often depicted as some manner of half-elf, although sometimes he is shown as a twin-horned tiefling. His eyes either glow with arcane light or are hollow and empty sockets, and he usually carries fire in one hand and lightning in the other.

SERVANTS  
All creatures of arcane or eldritch origin are claimed by the Mage, in an offhand manner. He watches over summoned beings but is particularly fond of chimeras, and his followers will sometimes try to curry favour by “adopting” abandoned magical beasts.

_The Labyrinth Maker_  
A spellcaster of great power and renown, the true origins of the Labyrinth Maker are lost to the ages. Accounts agree that he was a drow and a follower of the Mage, who travelled the world learning ever more of the arcane until there was no more for him to learn. Many cornerstones of modern magic are attributed to his research. The tales agree that the death of his beloved, a powerful spellcaster in her own right, drove him to madness. He used his power to build an impenetrable maze in which he spent the rest of his days. The entrance to this maze is known, but none who have entered in search of his secrets have ever emerged again.

_The Swarm_  
Bees are the spy network of the Mage, and his messengers. They are said to know the secrets of the world, and to tell them only when their master wishes: as such, bees are sacred to his followers, and to kill one will bring ill fortune. Though not given to superstition for the most part, many wizards consider the appearance of a bee to be a sign of favour, but that to hear one without seeing it is the precise opposite.

CHURCH  
Temples of the Mage are so rare as to be virtually nonexistent. Sufficiently large gatherings of magic users may have a small side chapel dedicated to him, and many lone practitioners- particularly witches- keep a corner aside for a small shrine, but for the most part the god is less interested in worship than his followers are.

WORSHIPPERS AND CLERGY  
Clerics of the Mage of Doom are Chaotic Neutral, Chaotic Good, Chaotic Evil, and True Neutral.

Followers of the Mage are spellcasters, inventors and researchers- either those with arcane magic, those who take refuge from the world in the works of the mind, or those who do both. He also has a fair contingent of half-elven followers, as the god is said to grudgingly empathise with those caught between two worlds.

The clergy of the Mage are extremely few, and tend to be either Oracles- cursed with blindness or the voices of the dead from the god's touch- or Sorcerers who feel that their inborn abilities are a gift that deserves some return. Devout followers are most often wizards, alchemists or witches.

TEMPLES AND SHRINES  
Shrines and altars to the Mage of Doom typically centre on an elf-like skull, and by tradition are symmetrical in arrangement with a two-colour theme. As many shrines are in workshops or labs, they rarely remain tidy, but the Mage does not seem to mind overly much so long as it is in the name of progress.

HOLY TEXTS  
The followers of the Mage of Doom do not have holy books so much as reference manuals; it is the aim of every one of the devout to write the definitive work in their field, and the tomes shown most reverence are those that have proven their contents worth the parchment.

_On Arcane Mechanics and Planar Geography_  
Most arcane spellcasters who wish to progress in their art own a copy of this book, which lays out the essential nature of arcane magic, divine magic, planar geography and politics, and most of the other fundamental mechanics underpinning the flow of magical energies. It is said to have been written by the Labyrinth Maker himself, before insanity claimed him.

_~ATH_  
The original copy of this strange book is lost in the mists of history, but its copies survive and turn up both in centres of supernatural learning and the huts of witches. Instructions on the creation of curses and geases are interspersed with pages of what seems to be gibberish; some copies of the tome omit the seemingly nonsensical strings of letters and numbers, but a few scholars insist that there are hints of meaning behind the mystery.

HOLIDAYS  
Followers of the Mage think that regular holidays are pointless and that people who take them clearly have nothing better to do. They are however noted for being almost insanely accepting of the need for sabbaticals, medical absence, research trips, compassionate leave and other circumstance-based breaks from regular working schedules.


	44. ==> Gamzee: Lose A Portion Of Your Drug Supplies To Muggers. Flip Out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Hero point votes:**  
>  Sollux 1  
> Kanaya 1
> 
>  **Current Hero Points:**  
>  John 4/5, Rose 3/5, Dave 1/3, Jade 1/3  
> Karkat 2/5, **Gamzee 3/3,** Terezi 3/5  
>  Sollux 1/3, Aradia 2/3, Kanaya 1/5  
> Jane 3/5, Jake 0/5, Roxy 2/3, **Dirk 3/3**

## ==> Gamzee: Lose A Portion Of Your Drug Supplies To Muggers. Flip Out.

There was this one time- or maybe it was more than one, but they all up and ran together in your remembering- when you was all up and lying on your back all out of your head with whatever it was you'd been taking, and you was all up and thinking that maybe what you was feeling was like to being underwater. That whole still and quiet and drifting thing had all been seeming like the same kind of miracles that what you saw the river being, from all up in your tower.

Right now you are getting yourself some real motherfucking intimate acquaintance with how motherfucking wrong you was being on that business. Water ain't still nor silent, and it sure as shit ain't quiet or motherfucking drifting. You've all up and fallen your ass into some level of motherfucking hell where everything's all heavy noise and thrashing and chaos and there ain't no kind of fucking thing to breathe. You panic and get screaming, but the stream of bubbles that whips around your head only makes shit worse and then your chest is motherfucking burning and something what is way too solid and painful for water gets in your nose. There's a half-instant of air, your head flying up to break the surface for no reason what you can fathom, and you gasp a breath before you sink again. Wild currents knock you into sharp motherfucking rocks what ain't big enough to do more than sting, but you can all be seeing your own blood what is drifting away on the water.

World becomes clear, for an instant, somewhere in the middle of the foam and the tide and the panic. You're gonna die. Shit ain't what you was expecting, but you guess you could've done worse. It's motherfucking bizarre is how calm you're taking it; most you can feel is kinda glad on how you're gonna see Marah again, assuming as what you're going the the same afterlife what she's all up in. Maybe that's being too much of an assumption, but you're hoping not.

Then something what ain't rock nor fish nor shit from upstream bumps all against you and you open your eyes to see the shadow of Jakebro all floating next to you. He all up and grabs on your wrist and you can see Terezi off on his other side; your head spins until you see your brother, thrashing and bubbling his way past you on the other side. You reach out but your arms ain't long enough. He drifts past you and off downstream, water all churning up round him while he'd fighting up against the current more than what you are.

You start getting to kicking after him, all in a wild panic because you might be all getting your drown on but he ain't gonna, not Karkat. You ain't gonna face Marah all hand-in-hand with her motherfucking son, and you kick your way after him, tracking him with your eyes as the current spins you and tosses you and you dig the broken remains of your manicure into Jake's arm like he's the last hope you got for life. There's other things what are moving with you, the flash of fishy shapes in the river, and you feel yourself snarling at them. Keep away, the Bard is saying. Don't you motherfucking touch my best friend or I will end you.

Then the current all up and yanks, dragging on Terezi what drags on Jake what drags on you, and the three of you is suddenly pulled away from Karkat and spat up like you tasted bad onto the shore. Grit and sharp stones drag across your skin, skitter on them new itchy clothes what you just got, and sound comes rushing all back in just in the time to be hearing yourself gasp and pant for air like what Jakebro and Lawsis are all doing up besides you.

Takes you maybe a second or two to be realising Karkat ain't all alongside you, and by then enough of the water's all run out of your ears for what you can hear coughing behind you. You spin on the spot, not giving no kinds of shit as you're making some new scrapes all on your hands when you see your brother and the danger what he's being in.

Current's dragged you all well through the Shanties and beyond; reason the shore 'round here's all up and being nothing but rocks and wreckage is on account of how you're all up and being within spitting distance of the cavern wall. You reckon that if you were to be standing up you might even be able to be all touching the motherfucking roof in places, get your poke on of the overhead miracles of stone. That's how come you can be seeing that only a few hundred paces away the river's all up and vanishing into a narrow maw in the rock, water roaring as it pours endlessly down into darkness what you can't even be all up and seeing. You and Jakebro and Lawsis all got your asses saved by a quirk of the current; a jutting boulder in the flow what diverted the stream and pushed you all up towards the shore.

Your best friend, ahead of you and to the right, he got saved by grabbing himself a hold of that same slick rock.

Your clothes are sodden and you up and lurch under the weight of a pack what is now more full of water than any shit else, but your stumbling manages to be bringing you right back to the edge of the river before Karkat stares all up at you from under dripping hair and yells: "Stop!"

You hesitate, foot all up and hovering over the water. Your brother don't exactly look safe where he is, out in the middle of the river. His arms ain't being long enough to go all the way around the rock and he's bleeding and shit; you can see his shoulders all up and shivering with the effort what it is to be holding the motherfuck on, and his legs are kicking furious-like just to keep himself close enough to be doing so. "Just gonna come get you, bro," you tell him, wriggling your pack off and dropping that weighty motherfucker right down. "Bring you back on the motherfucking miracle shore, here."

"You're going to get yourself fucking drowned!" Karkat yells, half of it being him all angry and the other half what is just to be heard over the white rush of water. Well, motherfucking candy mud rainbow of water, really- you ain't been lied to about what kind of polluted and shit this motherfucker is. "You were in the currents, you vomit-inducing groinshit, you know they'll tug you under!" His arm twitches like he's all about to gesticulate, but the slipping what his hand does on the rock makes him be going all pale and hugging it even closer. "Don't you fucking dare!" he adds, for what is being good measure.

You're all about to up and go running in there anyways, when there's a hand what comes and rests all on your shoulder. "He's right," says Jakebro, and for a moment you're thinking that maybe you and the Bard are all up and getting your agree on about this motherfucker with what how you're all glaring at him.

"Hey, idiot!"

You turn to see your lawsis all up and waving her swordcane at you, right before she's pulling all that cane part off and tossing it your way. You almost mess up and be fumbling the catch, but Jake's right beside you, and you each get all holding one end of the stick.

"Try using that," Terezi says, striding all up close. "And we'll anchor you."

You gives her an eye up, but you're pretty sure you're trusting her to hold you. She don't like you none, and you ain't any sort of keen on her neither what with her judging and bossing and generally being mean as shit ways, but your lives-most especially Karkat's- is about the one thing you would be up and trusting her with. At least as long as she ain't the one threatening them. You tug the stick all up away from Jake and offer him one of your own personal hands in exchange; after a second he takes it, and you take a step what is being all slow and hesitant back out into the river.

Karkat was right. The second you step into the water an undertow what you wouldn't never have even believed comes all tearing in and tries to be hauling your ankles along with it. You trip and yell and get your ass yanked back to shore by Jake, just about managing to keep hold of the stick. Terezi snorts at you, and you glare back. You just wasn't ready, is all.

The second attempt is all going some kinds of better; you make it out to mid-thigh before you're running out of arm length, and that's almost up and being close enough to reach Karkat with the cane-sheath. You painstakingly lean towards him and get all shifting your feet apart, because you're gonna need that balance when you get your best friend's weight added on. The whole time Karkat's looking at you all motherfucking terrified-like, shit scared as what you ain't never seen him in years, and you just want to be grabbing him and holding him close and promising him that whatever the bad shit is, you won't be letting it no kinds of near him. Except that right now he's being all up and scared by the way as how you getting close to him might be getting you in worse as much as his own mess.

You're all up and busy concentrating on all keeping your footing and making sure your hand is all good and solid wrapped around Jake's wrist, but your eyes ain't left your brother's face for more than a half a heartbeat at a time so you don't miss it none when he all up and stops looking at you for something what is over your shoulder. Ain't no kind of good thing, neither, if you're recognising all that worry and anger right.

"Oh, undulating shitfucks," he mutters, and from the shore Terezi shouts a warning. It's all being enough to make you take your eyes off your bro, at least for a moment. You see six figures coming all up towards you, meandering in round them rocks from the nearest shacks of cloth and chitin. You don't recognise them none, but you can see as what they ain't in uniforms, unless the strip of red cloth what they each got tied round their head is all up and counting.

Jake tugs on the cane and you make to look back at your best friend; he's still all up and clinging to the rock, pale like ashes on coal, but he nods and you let the sunwalker be pulling you back to the solid ground. You toss the sheath all back to Terezi just as the first of them motherfuckers, a girl what don't seem no older than what you is, comes to a stop somewhere about fifteen paces back. She gives you a look what you don't like none, what is already turning into a smirk; her buddies is all spreading out up along around you, so your selves are all up and surrounded, and you really don't motherfucking like this none.

“Shitting hells,” the girl says, all grinning up all over her face. “Would you look at this? Here we are, minding our own fucking business and comin' down here to see what little fishies washed up for us, and fuck me raw if we ain't found an old friend!”

“Fuck you!” Karkat yells, his face all being still half-buried in the rock he's clinging to.

“Sorry, cutie, but that ship sailed.” The crew around you all get to snickering, and their leader eyes you all up and down again. “So this is your better option,” she says. “Fuck, Karkat, you should've stuck with us. At least then there wouldn't be three sets've colours turnin' the Shanties downside up lookin' for you."

Karkat all peeks his face out from besides one of his arms and gets his glaring at the young woman what is looking back at him. “Do I look like I care one crumb of a diseased ant's dinner what you think?” he asks, all snarling a little. “There are no fucking shits for me to give on this matter, you crotchstaining shitfan, because they are all spent elsewhere right now, as you would be able to clearly see if your thoughts were not a complete waste of skull-space.”

The girl and her crew all get to snickering and suddenly something all clicks up in your head, because you know who this is. Karkat all up and told you about her, back in the beginning, before he all up and dragged his ass to live away from where she was all up and at in his business all the times of the day.

“Fusun,” you say, staring at her. She smirks back at you.

“Aww, told you about me, did he?” she says, looking to be even more motherfucking pleased with herself like some fat lap pet. “How fucking cute is that? Did he also tell you how he ditched us, his own fucking sisters and brothers in all but hatchin', as soon as his whore momma started draggin' him up to see you? Real clever little gold-digger, aintcha, Karkat?”

“Is that supposed to bother me?” Karkat hollers back. “Those shits I was not giving about your opinion? I am now giving negative shits. I am literally gaining shits, to be neatly laid out and stored for the purpose of future rage-propelled vengeance on the stupid beetlecrap of the universe, because you are wrong!” He catches sight of you all up and turning to be seeing him, and he gets to looking straight at you. “She's wrong,” he tells you, and you nod so as he can see what and who you're believing.

"Never doubted a motherfucker," you say, even though there is a little needle all up and running through your heart. But no, if he was just wanting to be near to you for all them nice things what you could give him on account of your money and station, he wouldn't never have thought to help you run. You're so motherfucking sure of it, it ain't even worth thinking on none, so you don't.

Your answer don't seem to have pleased Fusun none, though, nor any of her gang. There's one motherfucker up there what's giving Terezi a serious eyeing up and playing about with her short sword; another is tossing some small axe-thing in one hand and getting his smirk on at Jake. Ain't none of them got their watching on you as a threat, most like cos you ain't armed.

THEIR MOTHERFUCKING MISTAKE, growls the Bard, and you all up and try to shush him on account of how you needs all your motherfucking wits right now.

"Well, I don't suppose it really matters, since we're here to do a job anyway," the gang leader's all up and saying, like she don't have no shit to be worrying about. She puts her hands on her hips and grins. "I could give some beetleshit about charging a toll for use of our stretch of river, but I ain't the mood. Hand over them packs and bags, and we'll leave you alone to fish the little turd out of the sewer."

You see a small motion beside you as Jakebro all reaches down, and hear him all whispering a curse in some language what you don't speak but which is real motherfucking expressive in dismay.

"That's complete and total fungusfeed!" Karkat yells. "Don't fucking listen to her! These assholes don't leave survivors!"

Fusun snickers again. "Aww, you remember," she says. "But seriously. I'm willing to make an exception here, for old times' sake. What do you say?"

Jake all leans over in front of you, to be whispering to you and Terezi. "I've lost my pistol!"

"What?" Terezi all up and hisses back.

"I don't know! I was trying to keep track of you two, and hold on to this blasted satchel, and it must have just been carried off by the bloody river!"

"So? You've got another weapon?"

"But it was my father's pistol!" Jakebro sounds well motherfucking bummed. You lay a hand all up on his shoulder to try and console a motherfucker.

“There some sort of problem over there?” yells Fusun, and you all look up and round like you was being naughty children what just got caught.

“No, nothing in particular!” Jake all calls back, putting some smile up on his face what is wicked bright and nothing like that upset what you was hearing earlier. “Just discussing our options, is all!”

“Options?” The gang ain't laughing this time, and Fusun's fingers all twitch. “You've got two options, sunwalker. Give us everything you're carrying and live, or make us take it off your dead bodies. You're outnumbered and one of you ain't even armed. How the fuck do you see this going?”

Jake all up and glances round at you, and you shrug, trying not to be all up and thinking on how your stomach is flip-flopping round your insides all because you're thinking of the Bard and Karkat and you're wet and shit and Jake ain't got his special gun and you don't even know if he's knowing what to do with that pick thing...

Terezi gives a little tiny motherfucking nod, and Jake's smile is all up and being brighter than that sun what he was telling you about.

“Sorry,” he calls up to Fusun. “But we think we'd rather keep our possessions and our lives, if that's quite alright by you folks!” He turns his head back to be giving you both a wink.

Karkat all gets his yell on and you see it almost in some kind of motherfucking slow motion. That motherfucking sword-wielding bitch all up and charges you, sword all pointing out at Terezi. You open your mouth to be yelling out a warning too, but you ain't even close to fast enough and your Lawsis, your enemy, your lover, she's all being slow too; she don't even have time to be bringing her own sword to bear before she's got metal thrust through her collarbone, all up and jutting out over where her armour is at, and it's a motherfucking miracle she ain't dead from that blow, let alone motherfucking still standing.

There's all up and being movement on the other side of you, where some other bitch what is up and having a spear comes to be trying to stick it in Jake. Your new bro is too fast on his feet, though, and he's stepping aside, what is being more than a good thing on account of how Terezi drops all sudden-like; you see a motherfucker standing over her with some manner of weighted bag. It's just you and Jake now, and your heart is all pounding like to burst out of your ribs even before a sling-stone all up and pings against the rock what is next to your feet.

Beside you Jakebro is laying into them foes what with that Pick of his, and those motherfuckers ain't seeming to like it none, but you're going all deaf like you're back in the river again. Still hanging back, Fusun raises her hands and is all up and saying some spell what you see Jakebro shaking his head clear of; you see Terezi all lying still there beside you, and the motherfucker with her sword all raising it for another blow.

You don't like Terezisis none. But the thought of losing her makes you ache all up inside, and you ain't got enough of anything to be losing none of it. So you lose your shit instead.

It ain't never difficult for you to get this kind of angry, and that's what scares you the most. It ain't hard to just be letting go, pulling all that anger and that murdering intent all up into the front, ain't even the smallest bit of a challenge for you to blink and suddenly be having the Bard look out from through your eyes.

Pretending that you're the motherfucking passenger here, that the Bard ain't always just been you- that's the hard part, and this time you ain't even trying to be doing that shit. Later you'll pretend like it wasn't being your hand what grabbed the rock; later you'll say as how you were trapped looking like when you smashed that motherfucker down into that sword-bitch's head, finishing the work what Jakebro started and sending her down. You'll say you didn't know as what you were snarling, didn't want to be as you were grinning, weren't laughing your ass off inside at the terror and the blood and the power what you was directing and dancing and playing in.

Later, though. For now you're him, the motherfucking GOD OF NIGHTMARES, and you are gonna SPREAD THAT FEAR. Laughing all comes out loud when the spear-bitch all comes scurrying in to try and drag her friend's bleeding body away from you. You swing at the INSOLENT FUCKING SHIT when she's close enough, but your own body ain't all working quite the same as what you're thinking it should, and she ducks too easy. One of them other motherFUCKERS ducks in past you as you're distracted and keeps on motherfucking running like the PISSANT COWARD HE ALL UP AND IS. You don't give a shit. You can miss as much as you like now, these MOTHERFUCKERS are all gonna die SLOW AND PAINFUL at YOUR HANDS. ON YOUR HANDS.

Stone bounces off you. You look up at the WHINING MOTHERFUCKING HATCHLING what DARES and she all goes pale as shit. You take a moment to beckon her- COME MOTHERFUCKING CLOSE. See what you're gonna DO.

There's sound and there's light flashing as you all get to charging on up at her, but all you're knowing of is YOU and YOUR NEXT MOTHERFUCKING VICTIM. COWARDLY BITCH staggers back all out of your swing and starts getting to run away, and you swing again. This time you connect and there's the BEAUTIFUL MIRACLE CRACK OF BONE and the BITCH drops. You all up and raise that motherfucking rock again, to be finishing TO HER SKULL.

Something hits you and bowls you over, something what feels bright and beautiful and bold and you want to SCREAM at it, want to CLAW IT DOWN INTO THE DARK what where YOU ARE MOTHERFUCKING BEING, except it's screaming in your ear and what he's yelling is all freezing up your fury like it's being ice.

“... Karkat! Gamzee! Bloody great buggering hells, snap out of it, _he lost his bloody grip!”_

Your head rolls around to look for your bro, and your anger all goes to silence when you're seeing an empty rock in the river.

“She cast a spell!” Jakebro is all up and saying, and he seems to be babbling some, lying on top of you. You stare at the rock, unmoving. “I don't know what, but his hands slipped right after and the current- Gamzee, there wasn't anything we could have done, but you didn't even seem to hear him...”

This ain't real.

“I mean, I couldn't even hear him clearly! But I think he was calling for you.”

Your brother ain't gone. He'll show up in a moment, all coming wet and cross from over by the shore all yelling his heart out at you for being up and letting him slip in the first place.

“Gamzee, please, Terezi's covered in blood and she's not moving! I don't have the faintest clue what I ought to be doing!”

Any moment now.

“Gamzee!”

Any motherfucking moment.

“Gamzee, most of the healing supplies were in your pack, and they took it!”

You scream, and all those motherfucking things what you've ever been feeling all up and pours right into it. Rage and loneliness and pain, hatred and fear and loss. You want to all up and tear a hole in the world with your voice, one what will just swallow you whole, and you think you might be able to be up and howling until that's all being just what motherfucking happens. But your lungs ain't large enough for that shit, and your voice is all falling to pieces with the rest of you, and suddenly all you can do is be crying because you want to motherfucking CULL EVERYTHING but Jake's all still on top of you and

he's

hugging you

You think you're all up and saying words, or things what is like words, but you don't know what they are. You grab hold of Jake's front and bury your face in it and howl and sob more and pretend as desperate as you ever been that it ain't him, that it ain't, that it's Karkat, only he don't MOTHERFUCKING SMELL RIGHT and you're LYING, you PIECE OF SHIT, no wonder everyone leaves you and hates you and wishes you weren't never hatched.

He moves and you grab for him, hold him close so you don't gotta look, wonder if maybe you should be killing him or killing yourself. The arms wrapped around you shift and push you about like a rag doll; you flop into a new position all getting to lean on one shoulder as your last motherfucking friend drags the both of you over to where Terezi is all lying on the ground. You only get to be glancing at her for a second before he's all pushing your head to face away, but you can see that she don't look good. She's not really looking all alive or anything.

“Okay,” Jakebro all up and mutters, right next to what is probably being your ear. “Right then. Just bear with me a moment here, Gamzee. Don't think we should leave the lady any longer than she's already been waiting. Bad manners and all that.”

He fumbles around a bit with his other hand, then you hear the clink of glass and some soft cursing. You don't look none, but you know what it is when you feel the soft glow of some healing magic all touch on your cheek. Makes you all up and feel more empty, if anything, but empty is good. You don't all up and mind empty so much.

“Ow,” says Terezi. You all up and risk a peek, and don't get to questioning the relief you're feeling when you see her all sitting up and being okay and shit. She's motherfucking beautiful, even more so scratched up and bloodied, and she might not like you none but at least she cares enough that it's you she ain't liking. “What happened?”

“You got stabbed,” Jake tells her. “Then... well, I was rather busy myself, but dashed if Gamzee didn't flip out completely! A right raging temper and no mistake. The buggers all ran away in the end.”

There's a pause. “Where's Karkat?” asks Terezi, and you all flinch into Jake's shoulder away from that accusation up in there because he was yours, your brother, your job to motherfucking protect.

“He, um, didn't make it,” Jake says, all quiet and subdued-like. “Gamzee's a bit upset.”

You hiss, dig your fingers into his shoulder hard enough to be leaving bruises on that brownish sunwalker skin. You ain't motherfucking upset. You're motherfucking broken in pieces what you don't even know where to start fitting back together.

“Ow!” he yelps, and you feel all up and a little bit satisfied in a sick sort of a way. Then he sighs and rubs an arm briskly over your own. “Poor chap. The thieving bastards took his pack, too,” he tells Terezi. “When he came out of- that is, when he realised Karkat was-” the sunwalker breaks off briefly. “He was asking for, well, you-know-what,” he whispers.

“He'll have to manage without,” Terezi replies, voice harsh and brittle and rising all upwards as she stands. “Come on. We need to get moving before someone else finds us.”

“Do you think they will, now?” Jake asks, stumbling about some as he tries to get you moving with him. After what's being a few moments, you decide it won't hurt none more to be actually helping the motherfucker out, so you lean on him and move your feet enough to be walking along. You stare at the rocks under your feet as what you're passing. Trails of wet footprints all up and follow you along.

“I don't see why not,” Terezi replies, her voice still being all edged and wrong. “You and K-Karkat were probably both loaded with tracking spells, and you're still wearing the armour.”

There's being a jangle of metal and your head is jolted some as Jake gets to look on at what he's being wearing. “Oh.” A pause. “Do you think it might be a sensible idea if I were to leave it behind?”

“No. Where we're going, you'll need it against more dangerous things than the people hunting us,” Terezi says. “But if you've got anything else that woman gave you, now would be the time to get rid of it.”

Jake all thinks on that for a minute. “I think Gamzee had the crossbow,” he says. “But it was with his pack.”

“Then I guess that's one good thing,” says Terezi. She don't sound like it's any sort of good, and you're all being inclined to agree.

The three of you are all trudging on in silence for a while. You all curl up some ways inside of yourself, but you're being kinds of glad for what Jakebro is giving you a shoulder to lean on. You ain't got the knowing of why, but it makes you feel like maybe you didn't lose quite everything just now. You carefully don't think none about the future, about how you're gonna be making it through the Deep Caverns without none of that sleeping kit or healing magics what you was carrying. How you're gonna keep your head all together without no Pesh in your system or no Karkat to hold you all in together. How, if you survive, you're gonna have any kind of a life at all when the only thing you was ever hoping to keep is all up and being gone from you.

You just keep on your walking, and you all up to try and keep your believing in how maybe there will be a miracle after all, and you hold all on to Jake when he's taking you after Terezi into a deep tunnel what drives downwards into the rock. You do, though, glance up for what's just being a second when you enter it. Ain't nothing but darkness waiting all up ahead.

Seems all kinds of fitting to you, as you're stepping over the invisible border what takes you out of Golgesi and out into a future what ain't shaping out anything like what you might have wanted.

### Suggestions Used

 _nanrea –_ Jake: somehow manage to keep track of Gamzee and Terezi in the river because you Hope everything turns out all right!

 _Arienna -_ Gamzee: Make sure your best bro doesn't manage to drown or get eaten by Underdark fish or something.

 _Lucid Dreamer -_ Drow (and Jake) group: Try not to drown or lose any of your equipment in the river. After what it took to get the new stuff and keep the old stuff, that would suck.

 _Lucid Dreamer –_ Jake: Lose your gun in the river.

 _1JakoftheMoon1 -_ Karkat: Flail helplessly.

 _1JakoftheMoon1 -_ Gamzee: Flail helpfully. (These can be reversed. Or contain a bit of column A and B.)

 _Ephemeral_Dreamer -_ Karkat: Run into some old friends (except they're not actually your friends... more like you hate those guys... and not in a good way!!!)

 _nanrea -_ Karkat: carefully explain how your shit is unflipped. Look at how unflipped that shit is. It is literally still on the handle, that's how unflipped your shit is!

 _Arienna -_ Jake: Realize that you've been separated from your weapon yet again.

 _Ephemeral_Dreamer -_ Jake: Attract undue attention from shady characters

 _ttd0000 -_ Jake: Exude a level of calm that is almost zen as you come to terms with the almost inevitable mugging attempt your party shall be subjected to.

 _ttd0000 -_ Gamzee: Help your Best Bro and sexy Law-Sis.

 _1JakoftheMoon1 -_ Gamzee: lose a portion of your drug supplies to muggers. Flip out.

 _ttd0000 -_ Jake and Gamzee: Have a bonding experience.

 _1JakoftheMoon1 -_ Gamzee: Travel down a dark path. Not literally.

 _Arienna -_ Terezi: Realize that those clothes were loaded with tracking charms. You're the non-Rose genius Seer, after all.

 _nanrea –_ Terezi: suggest that now would probably ditch anything that might have tracking spells on it

[System Notes](http://celynbrum.tumblr.com/post/59704889532/lodad-system-notes-chapter-44)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't worry, guys, I plan for this to end happily if I can manage it. :]
> 
> I didn't use swim checks/system stuff for the bit at the start because it would have made it hard to stick with the suggestions- GM fiat occurred.
> 
> And if you think this is heartbreaking, so do I. It wasn't actually the plan... but the suggestions I had were all pointing to a certain conclusion, and this is the most suggestion-effective way for me to reach that point. Also I am evil. Hehehehe.
> 
> EDIT:  
> Moved the notes from the top of the chapter to the bottom, and farmed system notes out to Tumblr.


	45. ==> Dirk: Get The Other Side Of The Story

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Hero point votes:**  
>  Jake 3  
> Karkat 2  
> Sollux 1  
> Kanaya 1
> 
>  **Current Hero Points:**  
>  John 4/5, Rose 3/5, Dave 1/3, Jade 1/3  
> Karkat 2/5, **Gamzee 3/3** , Terezi 3/5  
> Sollux 1/3, Aradia 2/3, Kanaya 1/5  
> Jane 2/5, **Jake 0/5** , Roxy 2/3, **Dirk 3/3**

## ==> Dirk: Get The Other Side Of The Story

Adel, as the halfling turns out to be called, is more than willing to guide you to his village in exchange for being released from the trap and a touch of god-given healing from Rose.

“It's a bit odd, actually, you calling us Hidden Ones,” he says, pointing out a half-buried set of metal jaws under the leaves to the rest of you before he steps around them. “I mean, sure, we're hard to find, but it's not like we're out in the Far Forest. Only ones I know of call us that are the kobolds.” He pauses, one foot on a log bridging a small stream, and eyes you all over his shoulder, more curious than suspicious. “You been speaking to them?”

“That is a long story,” Rose says, frowning at the log. You can hardly blame her; none of you are as naturally nimble as the halfling. Part of you offers a hand to Roxy, who's still shaky on her feet; another part keeps an ear on Adel's rambling, while the back of your mind dredges up every reference you've ever heard made to the 'Far Forest'. There is a growing probability that you weren't fucking listening to a word anyone ever said to you on the subject, to judge by the shape of an idea that lurks just outside the range of comprehension.

“So, is this going to be a long journey?” Dave asks, fingers tapping a rhythm on the hilt of his new sword. You very carefully don't look at it with suspicion because you are far too paranoid to risk it knowing that you don't trust it, and wonder if Dave knows he's tapping perfectly on the second. “Are we talking trekking for three days across mountains that scrape the sky, or paddling downriver on canoes, or-”

“Nah,” Adel says, grinning back over his shoulder. You don't trust him either; he's been far too easily amused the whole time, like this whole thing is one big game to him. You've known you were being set up for something from the moment you heard about the Golden Elf but right now someone is really getting some serious yanking action on your strings.

“We're here,” the halfling adds, and while the rest of your group look around in confusion you follow the growing sense of inevitability and look in the only direction none of you have actually been paying any fucking attention to: up.

The halfling village is a fascinating construction; you study it as your companions catch on and start making excited noises. Round wooden tree-houses encircle the trunks over your heads, rope-and-plank bridges forming roads between the branches. Interestingly, you can see several rope and pulley systems, forming what you would imagine are fairly complex and interwoven systems of getting shit from point A to point B without having to cross rickety bridges C, D or E on the way. Even more interestingly, you can't see any of the defences that you are absolutely certain exist.

“I'm impressed,” says Rose, and you agree. It's very impressive. “Tell me, will we be welcome visitors? I would hate to impose on your hospitality.”

“Yeah, being shot as intruders is a fucking riot,” Dave says, scanning the trees for the same protections that you can't spot.

“It should be fine,” Adel says. “You're with me. Besides, we were warned you were coming.”

You share a look with Rose, but it's Jane who speaks. “The Golden Elf?” she asks. Adel nods.

“Yeah, that's right! Aelfen fella passed through here, said you'd be heading to the Far Forest for Hunter's Day.” He frowns. “Funny friends you've got, though. Wouldn't give his name or stop for the party or anything!”

“Hunter's Day?” Jane asks.

“Party?” Roxy says at the same moment, lifting her head from your shoulder.

“You didn't know?” Adel walks over to the base of one of the trees and tugs on a rope. Looking up, you can see more than two dozen small faces looking down at you already. Looks like the Hidden Ones are big on feathers, tooth necklaces, and leather jerkins; there's something oddly childlike about it, distinct from the fact that they're the actual fucking size of children. “Well, my cousin Rafe is the master of ceremonies. He can explain it all to you!”

Somewhere up above someone shouts in an unfamiliar language, and you hear a mechanism rattle. A wooden platform descends from the trees and lands with a puff of leaves on the floor.

“Awesome!” John jumps aboard without a second thought. “It's almost like flying!”

“Is that thing safe?” Jane asks, frowning at the platform.

“I fucking hope so,” you say, leading Roxy forwards onto the centre of the platform and sitting down. You grip onto one of the four supporting ropes with one arm and leave the other around her waist, ready to hold you both if the thing collapses under your weight. “We should probably go up in two loads, though.”

Adel nods and pulls on the rope again; the platform starts to rise, Frigglish jumping on after his mistress as it leaves the floor. The ride is much less smooth when you're actually on it but you still find time to appreciate the view as you leave the forest floor behind and arrive in a bustling village.

The platform docks into the side of a wooden walkway with a clunk from the pulley mechanism. Two halflings ram a stop into a big wheel off the side, and a third waves her hands in a way that suggests you get your overly large behinds off her damn platform. John is all too eager to comply, and you help Roxy off in the wake of his enthusiasm as he charges to the edge of the walkway to look over it. Everything here is made for people half your size and your heart skips a beat when he leans over a railing that only comes up to his knees. You bite your tongue and lower Roxy to sit with her back to the nearest tree-trunk. John is responsible for himself, and you're close enough to catch him if he starts to fall.

The rest of your group come up with Adel a few seconds later, and Jane immediately goes to grab the back of her brother's tunic and haul him back from the drop. You retrieve Roxy as she berates him for being so careless, and nod to your guide, who sets out leading you along the maze of bridges that make up the roads of this place.

You soon discover that the Hidden Ones don't have a village up here so much as a small town; each tree-trunk seems to hold another cluster of homes and businesses, or a space where people gather for conversation and games. You see halfling youngsters- you don't know if they're children or hatchlings- charging past in the midst of games you and Dave used to play when you were small. It doesn't seem right for something elfin in form to be so tiny and you have to make a special effort not to tread on any of them.

About ten minutes into your journey, Rose stops dead just ahead of you, and you nearly bump into her. She's looking at the shop on the platform you've reached; the stall is covered in ink bottles, leatherbound books and parchment, and you consider the levels of literacy this implies.

“How much for a blank book?” she asks the halfling behind the counter. The tiny woman cranes her head up to see your group, then responds in a language you don't speak but which seems to involve a large amount of arm-waving. Adel replies and the two of them get into a heated debate, which ends with them slapping their palms together and nodding.

Your guide turns back to Rose. “I assume you're using Porthaven Marks?”

Rose nods. “Will that be a problem?”

“Not at all,” Adel replies, beaming. “Some of her best customers are in Porthaven. The price is ten gold, or eighteen if you need ink and a pen.”

“I have writing materials,” Rose replies, reaching into her coinpurse. “It is a journal to write in that I am lacking.” She carefully lays the coins down on the table, and the small woman passes her the largest book on the stall- small enough to fit snugly into Rose's larger belt pouch- before scooping the money into her own purse. “Could you please pass on my thanks?” she asks, and Adel nods.

“Wait,” says Jane, giving you an apologetic look as she squeezes her way forward. “If she has customers in Porthaven, would it be possible for her to get letters to someone in the city?”

Adel and the bookbinder have another brief exchange, which ends with your guide nodding. “She says two silver per letter, and you need to address them.”

“We already did,” says Jane, fumbling out the money while John pulls a couple of crumpled sheets of parchment from a pouch. They vanish behind the stall and you politely wait until you're all underway again before you lean over to Jane.

“You know you got ripped off, right?” you whisper in her ear. She nods.

“I don't think we're going to get many chances to send letters home,” she whispers back. Her eyes suddenly widen. “Oh, you didn't want to send a letter to your clan, did you?”

You shake your head. “Nah, it's fine. We said what we had to say already.” There's no reason to spend your money on letters. Desta knows why you left and she practically pushed you out of the door. No point to getting sentimental about it now.

A hand around your waist squeezes a handful of flesh, and you look over to see Roxy looking up at you. There are dark circles under her eyes and she looks like shit. “You still gots us, Dirky,” she says. Even her voice sounds tired.

Jane leans past you. “Are you alright there, Roxy?”

“Mostly?” Roxy gives a weak grin, which suddenly twists into something much less cheerful. “Ow. Headache.” Her head turns back into your shoulder, eyes hiding from the light, and you shake your head at Jane. Hangovers can be a bitch even when you haven't spent the last half-dozen years trying to be permanently intoxicated.

Jane nods, and mouths _I'll help_. You smile at her, a small twitch of the lips. She's a fucking cool broad, and you don't even care that fate put you on opposite sides of the law. Worthy opponents make for solid allies- you can think of a hundred ballads that agree on that point, and on a more personal level you know exactly how honest and trustworthy she is with you or against you.

Plus she's Roxy's friend, and you're pretty sure Roxy needs all the friends she can get. The fact that you probably do as well isn't an inconsiderable factor in the calculation, either. Your shoulders sigh with relief when you pass a floppy Roxy over to Jane, who wraps her over her own shoulders and shushes her gently when she moans. Something brushes against your ankle, and you look down to see Frigglish; the familiar mews at you, and you nod to him. You suspect that most of your travelling companions forget, or don't know to start with, just how fucking smart that cat is. It's not a genius, not by a long shot, but if the physical structure of its jaw and throat allowed for it that thing would be able to talk at least as clearly as a five-year-old.

Frigglish mews again, and with a sigh you stoop and pick the cat up. You guess he's earned a lift, what with leading you to Adel earlier. The white-furred familiar wriggles out of your arms and settles in across your shoulders like a living stole; he's heavier than he looks and you wonder how Roxy manages to carry him around like this all the godsdamned time.

Your attention is drawn away from Roxy and Frigglish by a shout from John. He had been running ahead of Adel, but now he's stopped on the far side of the bridge you're now crossing, holding onto a branch overhead so he can lean over and point at whatever it is that has him so excited. You don't pick up your pace, seeing as how the bridge is swinging and there aren't any hand-holds, and so you're the last to join the cluster of your comrades as they look at the place Adel has been leading you to.

The first thing you notice is that it's at ground level, a circle of earth in the centre of a clearing. Trees ring the circle, but between them you can see nothing but brambles and darkness; the only access to the ring is from above, and a ring is what it is. The treetops are ringed with spectators' benches, and down below you can see a dozen halflings practising with various weapons; there are staves driven into the ground at the edges of the arena, covered in deep gouges where they were struck by the small but lethal weapons the warriors are training with.

“RAFE!” yells Adel, and one of the training warriors looks up and waves. He says something to the halflings around him, then runs to one of the trees, swarming up the handholds nailed into it so fast that you can't even see how he did it. You can see scars on him when he approaches, nicks and marks from blades and sharp points. An image of the crude but pointed kobold spears flashes through your memory, and you scratch Frigglish's head as it pokes forward into your line of vision.

“So, our visitors be arrived!” Rafe says, smiling at you all. His accent is even heavier than Adel's, but he's understandable. He throws a strange hooked knife into the ground, and sits back on a bench. “I be understand that you want to be going to the Far Forest?”

“Do we?” Rose asks, tilting her head. “It seems that everyone we meet is much clearer on our destination than we are ourselves. I am starting to find this somewhat tedious.”

Rafe looks puzzled, and you wonder if anyone in this forest knows how to get to the fucking point. “Alright, it is past time for some straight talking up in this bitch,” you say, taking a step forwards and nodding to Rose to let her know you got this. “We're here because we got ambushed by kobolds yesterday.”

Rafe hisses, and you don't miss how Adel's eyes narrow. You hold up your hands and shake your head. “It's not like that,” you say. “No, actually, it kind of is, but it isn't. They wanted, in their own crazy little murderlizarding way, to ask for our help.”

“They begged us to save them,” Jane interjects, and there's something cold in her voice. “They said they were all going to be culled when the green moon is full, and they're terrified.” She folds her arms. “I don't expect that they are the best neighbours, or that you like them much, but I don't care what you think! We aren't going to let them all get murdered! There are baby kobolds with them, did you know that?”

Rafe is still frowning, but he holds up a hand. “We know,” he says. “And I'll admit this wasn't really what we were expecting from what your Aelfen friend said-”

“Yeah, that's another thing,” Dave says. “Not our friend. We don't have a fucking clue who that guy is or why he's reverse-stalking us.”

Adel and Rafe share a look. “But then, how did he know you were coming? Or that you wanted to go to the Far Forest?” your guide asks.

“Because he fucking set us up!” Dave yells. Roxy groans softly into Jane's shoulder, and Rose lays a hand on your brother's arm.

“I think there may be more to it than that,” she says. “Our original and ultimate destination is the Chamber of Echoes. If our mysterious Golden Elf is indeed an Aelfen, he may hail from the Starspire; he may even be one of the mountain's wardens. If so, it is conceivable he is acting in concert with the wishes of the Seer of Light.”

You wish you could be so optimistic, but both halflings look mollified so you keep your mouth shut. “Well, you all have be come to right place,” Rafe says. He points to the sparring warriors down below. “Down there be only stable entrance of Far Forest you be going to find, and that be place you must to be going.”

“Why do you say that?” Jane asks. She's turned to put herself between Roxy and the halflings, a protective position. You don't think she even did it on purpose.

Adel waves a hand to the dark tangle of thorns down below. “It's Hunter's Eve,” he says. “It's not just the kobolds. Tomorrow night, everything on the ground dies.”

Rafe nods. “Legend speak that it be kobolds be first cause, but no blessing from Lords Above be taken back once be given.”

There are now some serious alarm bells ringing in your skull. You grew up with tales of the Lunar Lords and their interactions with mortals, and the key difference between them and the Aasimar gods is that with the Lunar Lords you've got to be smarter. You're not the theologian you'd need to be to know whether it's a difference in attitude or a difference in power, but according to everything you've ever heard, the Celestial Pantheon are both less likely to poke their nose into the business of whiny mortals and more likely to actually fix shit when they do.

It's one of the big reasons you've never been all that religious. A choice between gods who won't help and gods who fuck shit up when they try has never really appealed to you.

“They say that long ago, the kobold clans grew powerful enough to threaten even the people of the Far Forest,” says Adel, sitting down next to his cousin. “And that the people of the Huntress, grieved by the deaths of their kin, prayed to her for the power to fight back.”

You rub under the edge of your mask with a finger. “She gave it to them, didn't she?”

“She be to give it at them,” Rafe agrees, with a nod. He points to the sky, thankfully blue and devoid of stars. “When her moon be to shine, they be to kill their enemies- but madness to come with.”

“For the space of a night they took on the forms of great beasts, and killed all those threatening their homes and kin,” Adel says solemnly. “But the change the Huntress wrought was too great, and they didn't stop there. Now every time their goddess' moon is full, they come out of the far forest to kill us all.” He points down to the ring far below. “Many of us died, too, before the Brother of Beasts taught us to live in the trees. Now we give thanks for our safety on Hunter's Eve, and prepare our warriors for the coming of the Changed.”

The pause that follows the tale is so pregnant you suspect it of carrying triplets.

“Lycanthropes,” you say eventually. “You were just going to let us wander into a den of fucking lycanthropes.”

“Ah,” says Adel, but before he can say anything else an irate Jane is pushing herself well and truly into his business. You slide in and grab Roxy, which dislodges Frigglish but fuck it. As expected, the cat lands on his feet.

“What is WRONG with you?” Jane yells. A few of the warriors down below look up in surprise, but she thoroughly ignores them. “What, you thought you could just stay safe up here and never mind anyone else?” She jabs a finger back towards where you left the kobolds. “There are people out there who are going to _die_ tomorrow and you're not doing a thing to help them!”

“What we meant to be doing?” Rafe hollers back, jumping to his feet and drawing himself up to his full height of just under Jane's waist. It would be fucking adorable if it wasn't for the fact that he's a pissed-off, experienced combatant. “Kobolds be enemies of halflings! Can't be to invite them to our homes where our children be!”

“Why not!?” Jane demands, jabbing him in the chest with a finger. “They have children too, you ass!”

“They would be kill us!” Rafe grabs Jane's finger and glares at her. “They thieves and murderers!”

“Enough!” Rose steps in between the two of them, physically pushing them apart. “It seems to me that we already have a resolution to the immediate situation available.” She turns to Rafe. “If we could persuade the kobolds to come here, unarmed, would you agree to give them your protection for one night?”

Rafe shakes his head. “No! Is not be possible! What of our families?”

“So you'd rather let them all die?” Jane says, her hands clenching into fists. “What about their families? Their children?”

“They bad from hatch,” Rafe says, folding his arms.

“Wow,” you say, stepping up behind Jane. “You know, we were with the kobolds a whole night, and I don't think I heard them say anything so bloodthirsty.”

“I would say that these individuals are as bad as those they despise,” Rose says. “And there is nothing more for us to do here.” She turns away from the halflings. “I suggest that we make our way back to them. There is nothing worth remaining here for.”

John gives the halflings a hurt look. “I can't believe you'd let Casey die,” he mutters. “She's so sweet!”

“I don't wanna babbies to diiie!” Roxy wails into your neck. Dave nods once, firmly.

“Yeah, that pretty much sucks,” he agrees. “All those poor little lizard kids screaming and getting torn the fuck apart while mommy gets turned into monster chow. Not to mention we're probably gonna end up as dessert.”

“I hope you're satisfied,” Jane adds, and there's more than just disapproval in her words. A breeze stirs the leaves and her fury is tangible, her determination to protect saturating the world. Then the feeling passes, and she's walking stiffly back towards the bridge you came from. Heart sinking and mind racing to find some solution to the nightmare, you follow her.

“Wait!”

Looking back, you see Rafe has followed you a step, and looks deeply uncomfortable.

“No warriors,” he says. “Kobolds not to be trusted. But- children, yes, and the old, and the sick. Those who cannot fight, we will protect.” He glares at you. “But that be all! The rest, they be on their own!”

It's more than you were expecting, and the cold knot that had been tightening in your gut dissolves.

“It'll take some time to organise,” Adel adds, looking between you all like he thinks you're going to jump down his throat for not being able to click his fingers and make shit happen like a fucking wizard. “We'll have to persuade the council- we might need you here for that. Do you think you can wait a night? We can send people back to the kobolds with you, to make this easier tomorrow.”

You look over at Rose. “We got time?” you ask. She nods.

“I'm thinking we should split our numbers tomorrow,” she says. “This problem in the Far Forest bears investigation before the green moon rises, but someone will have to help the kobolds.”

“We can worry about that later,” you say, glancing down at the warriors below. “Right now, we need to get everyone on board with this kobold-rescue plan, and we need to rest. Here's better than nowhere.”

Rose nods, but you get the feeling she's not quite at ease with this. You don't really give a shit. Whatever you end up doing, tomorrow is going to be hell, and that's if you win. You plan to blow off some steam while you still can.

### Suggestions Used

 _Ms Arano -_ Rose: Procure a proper journal, carry around scraps of parchment is going to get cumbersome very quickly.

 _ttd0000 -_ Dirk and Jane: Help Roxy through sobriety process, be best palemate(s)

 _ttd0000 -_ Dirk and Jane: Learn the truth of the tree-men in all it's horror.

 _Ms Arano -_ Dirk: Get the other side of the story about this conflict. Everyone else is becoming just a bit too attached...

 _edenfalling -_ Jane: do something sensible and practical to aid the kobolds even though you're not associated with any of their gods.

[System Notes](http://celynbrum.tumblr.com/post/59705062220/lodad-system-notes-chapter-45)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just to be clear, I didn't use many suggestions this chapter, but I still have loads left. It just took a lot of pagespace to clear these. I already have a plan for the ones that get used next chapter, and they take up a page on their own.
> 
> Urgh, so much pagespace, and I didn't even manage to do a cool thing to mark the update! :[
> 
> Other than that- I dunno how clear it is up there, but I'm planning to split this party in a coupla chapters down this thread, at least for a while. I think this'll give me a chance to focus more on the interrelationships between the characters and give more interesting interactions. :]
> 
> EDIT:  
> Moved the notes from the top of the chapter to the bottom, and farmed system notes out to Tumblr.


	46. ==> Sollux: Surprise Everyone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Hero point votes:**  
>  Jake 4  
> Karkat 2  
> Dirk 1  
> Sollux 1  
> Kanaya 1
> 
>  **Current Hero Points:**  
>  John 4/5, Rose 3/5, Dave 1/3, Jade 1/3  
> Karkat 2/5, **Gamzee 3/3,** Terezi 3/5  
>  Sollux 1/3, Aradia 1/3, Kanaya 1/5  
> Jane 2/5, **Jake 0/5,** Roxy 2/3, **Dirk 3/3**
> 
> (see end of chapter for suggestions used)

## ==> Sollux: Surprise Everyone

You pretend to study the carvings on the pillar with interest, trying to hide the fact that you haven't stopped watching the ghost of Sir William Cosbie. Apparently Aradia's offer to shake hands had mollified him or something, and despite declining the offer on the grounds of ghoulish life-draining touch powers the spectre has now decided that your closest companion is his new best friend. He's been answering her questions for nearly a full turn of the glass now, imparting everything he knows about the underground temple in a voice hollow with the chill of the crypt.

You aren't actually sure what's more fascinating; the ghost's story, or the fact that contrary to everything you've ever learned about the spirits of the departed it's conversing with Aradia in much the same way as a live person. Either way it's better than being left alone with just your own thoughts, but you still don't trust the thing. It might seem friendly now, but whenever you go near it your skin feels like it's trying to crawl off somewhere and you've caught it staring at you with the empty, hollow pits where there should have been eyes more than once.

You're still busy spying while trying to look like you aren't when a hand touches your shoulder and you stiffen, sparks pinging between your hands before you see that it's just Jade.

“It's me!” she whispers, settling in beside you with a squelch and a smile and passing you a wrapped package of rations. “You know, I think Bec can sense him, even through the cave walls? He's been going crazy through there, poor thing.”

You consider what a large wolf going crazy might entail. “Are Thryi and Bryn okay with him?” you ask, trying to ignore the guilt that flashes up. It's your fault everyone's stuck down here behind a rockfall, even if you don't know how the fuck you managed it.

Jade nods, taking a bite out of her own rations. “Yeah, I helped get him settled, but he's still whimpering. I don't think he's going to be happy around William.”

“No thit,” you mutter, glancing over at the ghost again. He and Aradia are taking a tour of the awful statues. “Can't believe I agree with that thtupid wolf on anything, but that ghotht giveth me the creepth.”

Jade shoves you in the shoulder. “He's not stupid, fuckass,” she says. “And ghosts are supposed to be creepy, although I agree it's kind of strange to be hanging out with a dead guy! He gives me the shivers, too.” She peeks around you at the pair of them. “So what's he been saying?”

You shrug and start to unwrap your own food. “More thtuff about the quetht he died on,” you tell her. “Turnth out that thith temple held one of the fragmentth of the Amulet of Guidanthe, which ith actually pretty interethting. Pity the retht of hith group took it. I would have loved to thee an artefact of the Labyrinth Maker.”

“Why, so you could take it yourself?”

“No!” you snap, flushing yellow. Then you catch sight of Jade's face, a grin spread right across it, and realise that she was only teasing. “Fine, yeth,” you admit with a sigh. “But not to thell!” You wave a hand around the temple. “Thith ith important, magically and hithtorically. That amulet belongth in a thentre of learning, thomewhere it can be thtudied.” You scowl at the ground because although you might be a looter, you're not a thief.

Jade tilts her head to look at your face. “You really care about it, don't you? Learning and knowledge and research.”

“Yeah,” you agree, shifting uncomfortably. “Tho what?”

“It's just unexpected, I suppose,” says Jade, leaning back on the pillar next to you. You rip a chunk off your rations and start chewing, not meeting her eyes. “Not in a bad way- I think those things are important too! But I suppose I don't get why you and Aradia would do this job for money when you're both so smart!”

“Thmart doethn't pay for thit on itth own,” you say, and bite off another mouthful of your rations. It tastes like dry parchment in your mouth, and you barely manage to choke it down before deciding you're not that hungry after all. “I'm going to check on the otherth,” you say, getting to your feet. “Keep an eye on AA for me, yeah?”

“Sure,” says Jade, and you hate the look she's giving you so you keep your back to her as you cross the cavern to the water at the back and the crack in the wall.

“Hey, Sollux!”

You turn to see Jade waving to you, her smile back as bright as ever. “It was great to talk to you!” she shouts.

Your response is a rude gesture, but you're smiling when you turn away again and wade back to the crack in the rock. It takes you a couple of tries to drag yourself up slick rock and into the small tunnel, and you grumble quietly to yourself as you pull your way through cold water. You hope Aradia's taking notes on what the ghost tells her.

Strong dwarven hands hold your arms to help you out of the narrow crevasse, and you swallow the burst of panic the gesture creates before you can do anything stupid like setting the people paying you on fire or something. The moment they've set you upright, you yank yourself out of their grip and wrap your arms around yourself.

“Are you alright there, lad?” Thyri asks, reaching to pat your shoulder. You flinch away.

“I don't like people grabbing me,” you say. “Or touching me, really, unleth they have to.”

“Why not?” asks Bryn, and gets a smack from Thyri for her trouble. “Ow, mother! I was only bloody asking!”

“Forty-six years and you don't know better than to bother the boy with questions? Did I raise you to be this nosy, young miss?”

“Yes, you bloody well did!”

You roll your eyes and step out of the stream, heading over to the pile of packs in the far corner of the cave. Might as well grab that weird old journal you found the other day and see if the markings in it really are like the ones on the pillar, and not think at all about how you nearly crushed everyone to death today. You kneel to start rooting through the pack full of you and Aradia's stuff when a small whimper draws your attention. Bec is lying behind Jade's pack, curled up with his paws over his nose, looking utterly pathetic.

“Theriouthly?”

Bec continues to stare at you, round black eyes getting somehow rounder and blacker. You sigh and drop the pack.

“What are you, a wolf or a wuth?” you ask the wolf, shuffling over until you're kneeling on the ground next to him. “The ghotht'th through there, thtupid.”

Bec whines again, and lifts his head to press his nose into your knee. You sigh and slowly reach out; you hesitate for a second with your hand hovering over his head, then sink your fingers into the thick grey fur between his ears. It's coarse and a little greasy but to your surprise there is something comforting about the warmth beneath it.

“I know, thith blowth,” you tell the animal, not sure if he can even understand you. “I don't want to be here either, you know. Gueth thith ith what happenth when we let ourthelveth get too attached to bitcheth who want to go digging in caveth.” You chuckle a little at the joke, although it's not really funny and Aradia would kill you if she heard you call her that. Bec makes another unhappy noise, but judging by the way his head flops onto your leg it's not because of you. You find a surprisingly soft spot right behind one of his ears and scratch it, and the sad noises stop.

“See, I knew you two could get along if you made the effort!”

You yelp and scramble back from Bec, looking up at Jade who somehow came up behind you without being noticed _how did you not fucking notice her_. “Thit!” You quickly look around to see if anyone else noticed what you were doing, but fortunately Thyri and Bryn are hovering around the crevasse and there's no sign of Aradia. You look back to Jade and glare as intimidatingly as you can from the floor. “Thith never happened and if you thay it did, I'll thet your bedroll on fire.”

Jade shrugs. “Okay, if you want!” She drops to the ground beside you and gathers Bec's head up into her own lap, petting him and making soothing noises. You watch her suspiciously for a moment, before deciding that you're probably safe from that particular line of humiliation.

“Tho what are you doing back out here?” you ask, looking back over at the dwarves. They seem pretty interested in whatever's going on over there.

“Oh, right!” Jade looks up from Bec. “Aradia's decided to bring William back through here, so I'm keeping Bec calm.”

“Thee what?” You scramble upright, moving before you're even standing and tripping over your own legs to get back to the crevasse. You're a few feet away when a pale, intangible arm emerges from the wall, followed a few seconds later by the shadow-shrouded form of Sir William.

“Oh, my forge and furnace!” mutters Thyri.

“Bloody hells,” Bryn says. You think that's agreement; you stop and stare as the ghost looks around with those empty, blackened sockets before settling on the dwarves.

 _“Greetings, Thyri and Bryn of the Quartzkin Clanhold,”_ he says, voice howling like a distant hurricane. _“Aradia Dreamwalker tells me you are friends. I am he who was Sir William Cosbie, dead these last twenty-three years.”_

There is a pause, then Thyri steps forwards and nods to the apparition. “Jolly good to meet you, Sir,” she says. “You won't mind if I don't offer to shake, of course. Hear ghosts are a tad hard on the old complexion.”

The ghost makes a noise like the screams of a thousand damned souls. You think he might be laughing. _“My companions and I entered these mountains through the Granitehew Clanhold,”_ he says. _“Cousins to your people, I believe. They were most generous and kindly hosts.”_

“I shall be sure to pass along the compliment when next I write to my aunt,” Thyri says. “Now, young fellow-me-lad, do you mind telling me what you're doing haunting some old caves out in the Deep Caverns, hmm? Don't you have an afterlife to be getting to?”

Sir William opens his mouth to speak, but is interrupted by Aradia emerging from the crevasse. You dart forwards to help her out, giving a sharp look to the dwarves when they try to grab her like they did to you, and with much huffing and puffing and splashing everywhere Aradia joins you in the stream. The smile she gives you when you help her out of the water makes warmth spread through you.

“Oops,” she says, turning to the rest of your group. “So, I see you met William!”

“We sure bloody did,” Bryn agrees. “Polite sort of chap, aren't you, old boy?”

 _“Indeed, miss,”_ the ghost replies. _“And as to your question, ma'am, I haunt the place where I was slain, for last I saw my comrades were beset by drow and my soul cannot rest until I know the outcome of our quest and their fate.”_

“Outcome?” Aradia steps out of the stream, dripping water and reminding you of how damp and chilly you feel yourself. “I thought your companions found the amulet?”

 _“They did, Dreamwalker, but that was not the extent of our mission,”_ Sir William says. His hollow sockets turn to face you. _“Do you know what befell them, boy?”_

You resist the urge to look behind you and see if another boy has suddenly materialised down here. “Why thould I know anything?” you ask, joining Aradia on solid ground. You tug at her sleeve until she mutters something and a flush of deep maroon power flushes over you and leaves you dry and warm.

The ghost looks at you, tendrils of mist peeling away from it like candlesmoke. _“Are you not the kin of Marius Wordweaver?”_

Something sharp and bitter stabs through you. “I don't have any fucking clue who you're talking about, and I don't give a thit anyway,” you say. Aradia's hand presses against the small of your back, bleeding away a little of the sudden, icy-hot anger that's breaking inside you.

Thyri has the decency not to stare at you, but Bryn and Sir William don't. _“My apologies,”_ the ghost says, leaden and hollow. _“Wordweaver was the wizard with whom I travelled and it was his research that led us to this place. He was, like you, a tiefling.”_

“Tho?” you snap, taking a step back away from the spectre. “Aradia'th a tiefling too. In fact, thee'th more of a tiefling than I am, you ignorant thithead. What, you think we're all jutht the fucking thame?”

“Sollux,” Aradia whispers, still stroking your back. You bite your tongue to keep it still.

 _“I did not mean to imply such,”_ the ghost replies. _“But I had thought- why else would you come to this place, with the same horns, the same magic, the same blood?”_

You can't breathe. There's a band tightening around your chest and you want to scream; you clench your fists and try to fight down the small flames and sparks playing across your skin.

“Go take a break,” says Aradia, giving you a gentle shove back over to where Jade is sitting with Bec. You stumble off, trying not to hear the sound of a curious ghost and two concerned dwarves asking her what's wrong with you. Jade gives you a curious look as you slump down; you pointedly turn away from her to glare at the wall, and she doesn't say anything.

You're close enough that you can still hear them talking across the cave, although Sir William's words are the only ones you can make out. The whole voice of the distant damned thing doesn't seem to get any quieter with distance and you're learning way too much about the assholes he was apparently traversing the entire material plane with. It comes as a relief when Bec's head lifts, one ear pricking into the air.

“What is it, boy?” asks Jade. You watch out of the corner of your eye as the wolf stands and trots back the way you came in, stopping after a couple of steps and turning to look at his mistress.

“Is there something you want to show me?” she asks, clambering to her feet; as she approaches Bec, he starts to move again, leading her out of the cavern. You glance over at Aradia, Thyri and Bryn, still deep in conversation with the ghost, and stand up to stroll after Jade. Aradia glances over and frowns; you make a complicated series of gestures meant to convey _I'm just following this idiot,_ and _don't worry, we'll shout if we need help_. She nods and turns back to her group, and you follow Jade and Bec into a tunnel in the rock without a glance back. You should be fine, since you've already been through this way and you're hardly alone, but you weren't kidding about shouting if you need help. Aradia's ready to come to the rescue now.

As soon as you step out of the cave you stop hearing Sir William, and you make a mental note to do more research on ghosts and how the fuck they talk anyway. The sound of howling spirit is replaced by the growing gurgle of water and you try not to touch the slick trails on the walls around you.

You're about halfway down the tunnel when you hear someone scream; Jade breaks into a run, the light from her magical glowing pebble flashing madly across the stone, and your eyes water trying to cycle between darkvision and lightvision with every blink. Bec races ahead of the both of you towards a sound that after the initial ear-splitting shriek has become an echoing cacophony of shouting. You can't make out the words from this distance but it sounds angry as fuck, and you start to summon some power into your hands in case you're running towards something less in need of help and more in need of dinner.

There's a drop in the tunnel and Jade turns the corner while you let yourself down it; by the time you reach the slight widening in the passage she's already kneeling at the edge of the pool that's actually part of an underground river. There's someone half in and half out of the water, and from the way they're flailing and kicking and punching the solid stone you've got no doubt they're the one making all the noise.

Darkvision doesn't come in colour, so you recognise the person as a drow by language before appearance. It still takes you longer than you'd expect because despite the extensive and colourful vocabulary of some of your teachers, this guy seems to be determined to use every curse word in undercommon and a few more that he made up for good measure. You hover a few feet back and put a hand on Bec's collar to steady him, watching uncertainly as the drow fights Jade's efforts to pull him out of the water and throws a tantrum that almost makes some of your drunken antics look reasonable.

“...heartless fatefucking spiderqueen, let me the fuck go, this isn't fucking fair, this is bugfisting blithering tomfuckery of the highest degree! Get off me, get the fuck off me, where in the deepest blighted abyss did you even come from!? WHAT DO YOU WANT ME FOR?”

The last six words are screamed loud enough to rattle the rocks and, memories of falling rocks and chaos and _your fault, all your fault_ rattling in your head you dart forward, putting yourself where the stranger can see you. He's mostly out of the water now, and he's not just wet, he's fucked up. You're not actually sure how he's conscious right now, between the bleeding gashes and the darker-than-black bruises and the awful, blistered seeping patches all over his skin, but he's still fighting like a demon. You kneel down next to him, grab a handful of chainmail as gently as you can, and holler back at him in undercommon.

“WE ARE TRYING TO THAVE YOUR LIFE, YOU UTHELETH THON OF A WHORE!”

He falls silent, and for a second you're staring straight into his eyes, bright red and shining in the light of Jade's pebble. Then he lunges for you.

You go over like a feather in a breeze and realise with growing panic that you can't move. He might be injured but he's strong, and all that strength and weight is forcing your face into the ground. You try and push back, but you might as well try to push the mountain over. He leans down over you and you nearly gag because dear holy fuck, his breath stinks.

“What the hellsfired shit did you say, fuckmouth?” he whispers in your ear. You couldn't answer even if you didn't have a mouth full of stone, because your heart is racing like it's trying to burst clean out of your ribcage and what control you have over your lungs is reserved for sucking in small, sharp breaths.

There is a bright little “schink” noise, and you see a flash of light on metal to your side.

“Let him go,” says Jade, in High Elven. To the other side of you, a warm mass of fur starts growling ominously. The stranger seems to consider for a minute, then the painful twisting pressure on your arm vanishes and the weight lifts from your back. You shoot forwards and get your back against a nice solid rock before you turn, planning to spit venom and anger and maybe a little magic at the asshole.

Your anger subsides into silence when you see him curled around himself on the ground, twitching with huge, heaving sobs that seem to be pulling themselves up and out of him. He's still cursing, a constant stream of obscene undercommon punctuated by the occasional thump of a fist against the ground. It's barely even coherent, but you don't have to hear the words to know what he's saying. On the day when you fell apart completely, you had Aradia to hold onto, but the stranger makes a clumsy lunge at Jade when she tries to comfort him. You stare without any clue what to do and unwilling to make things worse by trying, until the sound of footsteps racing towards you makes you look back down the tunnel.

Aradia charges in just ahead of the two dwarves and stops dead when she sees the stranger on the floor. “Oh! Hello!”

The stranger just curls around himself a little tighter; Aradia sighs and looks over at you. You shrug, and she takes another step forwards to kneel down beside him.

“Hello?” she says, in High Elven.

“Fuck off, you noxious hellvermin,” says the stranger in the same language, heavily accented. “I just went through every kind of shit known to thinking beings in the idiotic hope that maybe things might improve by the tiniest, most imperceptible amount and guess what? They got worse! So you can take whatever half-baked plan or addle-assed order you've got for me and you can ram it up your well-padded rear end- _what the fuck is that noise?”_

It occurs to you that you can hear the eerie, unnatural moan of Sir William approaching just as the stranger lifts his head and gets an eyeful of the ghost in all his undead glory.

“HOLY SHIT!” You don't think you've ever seen someone move so fast: in the space of an eyeblink the stranger is on his feet, a pair of mismatched sickles out and held forward as if to ward off the translucent spirit. Despite the fact that he's a waterlogged, battered and bleeding, there's not an instant of hesitation there. You're a little impressed despite yourself- you never met an asshole quite as stupidly stubborn as yourself before.

“There's a ghost,” he says, in High Elven again.

“His name is Sir William!” Aradia says, smiling brightly at the stranger. “It's okay, he's friendly!”

“Sure he is,” the stranger snarls, scowling and backing up another couple of steps. “I'll definitely take your word for that, because there's absolutely no way that this could be some mind-controlling magical beetleshit trap for hatchlings and pesh-pated morons.”

You can't really argue with the sentiment, especially not a moment later when Sir William opens his mouth and lets out an eldritch shriek.

 _“YOU HAVE IT!”_ he howls, and you all stagger back a step from the ghost. Bec yelps and dives behind Jade, and the drow guy looks pale as shit. _“THIEF! MURDERER! ACCURSED SPAWN OF DEMONS!”_

“That ith enough!” You stamp up to the ghost, ignoring the sickening chill that pushes through you and hoping like fuck that you're not about to be mummified for your trouble. “I know you're dead, but look at him! He'th not old enough to have done anything to you, and he'th terrified!”

“I am not!” the stranger yells. “Fuck you!”

You make a rude gesture without looking round. “Thut up, athhole, grownupth are talking.”

 _“HE HAS IT!”_ the ghost wails, and the shadows shake and waver. _“HE HAS IT, THE AMULET, I FEEL IT!”_

“Wait, what!?” You look back and see the stranger fumbling in a pouch; he pulls out a broken pendant and holds it up. “You want this piece of shit? You can have it!” He throws the amulet down and it clatters at the ground by your feet. You make a strangled noise and the ghost wails again.

 _“THEIR FATE! I MUST KNOW THEIR FATE!”_ he screams, the blue-white glow of his mist fluctuating wildly in and out of darkness.

“Do you know anything about his companions?” Aradia shouts to the stranger. “Or this amulet? Where did you get it?”

“I got it from a- I traded for it!” the stranger yells back. “She said it was left by some asshole called Alekor who went to the surface to look for the other half, but that's all I know! I only took the fucking thing to make up the money!”

 _“Alekor,”_ hisses the ghost. You glance again at the amulet on the ground, then sigh.

“Hey, dumbath,” you say, stooping to pick the fragment of priceless magical artefact. “How about a deal? You thtop thcreaming and making thtupid threatth, and I thwear to track down thith Alekor guy and find out what he knowth about your companionth.”

Sir William's hollow eyes stare at you. _“Justice,”_ he says. _“Bring them justice, Twinblood. If they have perished, death to their killers, swear it to me on everything you are.”_

Something about the way he says it sends a chill up your spine, but menace is pouring off him, and you're pretty sure that you're all fucked if you try to fight a ghost. “I thwear it,” you say, wrapping your fingers around the broken Amulet of the Labyrinth. “On everything I am, I thwear that the killerth of the companionth of Thir William Cothbie will die.”

The ghost sighs, a rush of cold air across you all. _“It is done, Twinblood. I give you my aid for as long as you quest on my behalf.”_

You're about to ask what that means when the misty tendrils of the ghost begin to stream towards you. Shocked, you take a step back, but the first thin smoke-streams follow and pour into the amulet you're holding; before your eyes the ghost unravels, every glowing white inch of him pouring into the tiny piece of metal on your palm. It begins to shine with a steady white light, glowing brighter and brighter, until the last wisp of Sir William has entered. You close your eyes just ahead of the bright flash, and when you open them again only a dull glow remains.

 _I will be with you, Twinblood,_ whispers a voice in your mind. Swallowing from a dry mouth, you slip the cord of the amulet over your neck; the metal is freezing cold and you don't think it's going to warm easily. Gradually you become aware of the fact that everyone is staring at you.

“What?” you ask.

“That was amazing!” Jade says.

“Jolly good show,” Thyri agrees, Bryn nodding beside her. You look over at Aradia, who smiles and comes to wrap her arms around you in a tight hug.

“Well done, you,” she says. “And I suppose that getting to look for the other half of that amulet is just a by-product.” Her eyes are twinkling, and you duck your head to hide the fact that you're grinning back.

“I am the thit,” you say, and she laughs and ruffles your hair.

“Proud of you,” she says, then looks around. You follow her gaze to see the stranger slumped down by a rock, glaring at all of you from over his knees and looking like shit.

“What?” he snaps. Aradia sighs and walks over to him. She's still holding your hand so you get dragged over too, which means you get a front-row view when she crouches down to study the stranger more closely.

“Have we met?” she says, frowning. The stranger's eye twitches.

“Have we met?” he echoes. “Have we fucking met? What do you think, you sludge-brained dollop of pixie powder?” He waves a hand at the river. “Your sunwalker friend and your pet freak there just hauled me out of a river, how the taintchafing fuck would we have ever met before?”

“Who are you calling a freak, athhole?” you demand, pushing past Aradia. “I'd kick your ath if it wathn't tho utterly pathetic right now.”

“You could try, fungus-face,” the stranger says, one corner of his mouth twitching up. “What are you, a bundle of bones wrapped in a skin suit? I could kick the everlasting shit out of you with one arm missing.”

You snicker and let the power in you flare up enough to make your eyes glow a little. “Bring it, if you think you can,” you say, then yelp when Aradia slaps you.

“Stop antagonising him!” she says, then turns to the stranger and sticks a finger under his nose. “You too! Quit thundering and let us help you.”

The stranger squints up at her. “Help me? Why would you-”

He's interrupted by a strangled sound from Jade. You all look around to see her kneeling by the edge of the river pool again, holding something in her hands. You're about to ask what she's found when she turns; you get a clear view of both the tears streaming down her face, and the battered dwarven gun resting in her hands. She holds it up towards Thyri whose face goes stony and still, and Bryn who shouts something dwarvish and punches the wall.

“Ith that-?” you ask.

“Jake's pistol,” Thyri confirms. “Oh, my poor boy.” You can see something wet on her face, too, and you shift awkwardly and wonder if this means you won't get paid. From what you've heard of this Jake kid you were pretty sure he'd manage to get himself killed anyway, but you'd been hoping that a key role in returning his body to the grieving family might net you something.

“Jade?” says a quiet voice. It takes you a moment to realise it's the shouty stranger talking, and your head whips back to see him staring at Jade with wide, round eyes. “You're- you're Jade?” He looks over at the two dwarves. “And Bryn? And- actually, I don't know your name. Fucking sunwalker idiot just said Mom.”

There is silence; nobody seems to breathe for an age. Jade stands and walks over, stiff and radiating anger. She stops between you and Aradia and leans forward until she fills the stranger's entire field of vision.

“What do you know about my brother?” she snarls, wolfish as Bec in anger. You want to run off and find somewhere to hide yourself, but the stranger just glares right back at her.

“I know it's his fault I nearly fucking drowned,” he says. “Well, him and that lunatic lawkeeper bitch...” His voice trails off and he ducks his head, but you can see that he is crying again. “Fuck,” he says, voice cracking. “Fuck, fuck, shitting fucksticks. He- he helped us get out of there, it nearly fucking worked, damn it all to the searing hells of light and fire, it nearly fucking worked and then those assholes jumped us and I couldn't hold on!”

Jade drops down to her knees next to you and reaches out, putting a hand on each of his shoulders. “What happened to Jake?” she asks, not so angry but just as urgent.

The stranger shakes his head. “I don't know,” he says. “Last I saw they were still fighting, and they were outnumbered and Terezi was down, but Gamzee had flipped his shit so really it probably depends on how well your brother and his ridiculous pick thing could handle an insane murderhappy peshhead armed with a rock.” He stares at the ground. “Personally I wouldn't give a chewed-up copper for their chances, but that's just because my entire life has been a series of escalating disappointments and I don't see why anything should change now.”

“And I thought I wath gloomy,” you mutter. The stranger shoots you a narrow-eyed look.

“Now, hold up there, lad,” says Thyri, wandering over. “You're saying you were travelling with my boy and this Terezi woman?”

The stranger looks at her sideways on, but nods.

Thryi folds her arms. “And you didn't actually see him fall? Or your other friend?”

Head shake.

“Well then!” The dwarf woman smiles, although her eyes still look tired. “I shouldn't give up hope. We might all make the rendezvous yet!”

“How?” the stranger demands. “Terezi was the only one of us with any fucking clue where we were headed!”

“You should put a little more faith in my boy,” Thyri says. “A resourceful lad, my Jake.”

“Not like we have a better bloody plan,” Bryn adds, and Jade and Aradia both nod. You look back over at the stranger, still slumped and bloodied and looking equal parts exhausted and frustrated with everyone around him.

“Do you want to come with uth?” you ask him, on impulse. He glares at you.

“No, I thought I'd stay here and die from my injuries,” he snaps. “Or maybe try and limp to the nearest surface-dweller settlement and die on the way.”

“Oh, right,” says Jade. She reaches out and presses a hand against the stranger's chest. “Here you go!”

Light flashes, warm and golden-green and full of life. Trails of dappled radiance run along the edges of gashes that close behind them, and over raw patches of oozing skin that become fresh and whole in their wake. When the magic fades the stranger still looks battered, but nowhere near death.

He prods at himself a couple of times. “Thanks,” he says, narrowing his eyes at Jade and pushing himself upright with his hands against the rock at his back.

“You're welcome,” she replies, getting to her feet and facing him head-on. Mostly. You snicker because the stranger is a full head shorter than she is, and Jade isn't exactly towering over anyone else.

“What are you laughing at, you half-horned mutant?” he snaps.

“I might be a mutant, but at leatht I'm not a tiny little pipthqueak,” you reply, patting him on the head. He steps back and slaps your hand away.

“I'm not tiny, you're all fucking giants,” he grumbles. “Giants with good teeth and decent skin, fuck you all, this is not fair.”

You snicker again. “Aww, don't worry. You're cute too!”

“I am not in any way, shape or form _cute!”_ the stranger yells. “I'm a strong and bloodthirsty warrior!”

“So what's your name, little warrior?” asks Thryi, trying and failing to hide a smile.

The stranger huffs. “Karkat,” he says, staring at the ceiling.

You lean around him. “Thollucth,” you say. He glares at you.

“Did I ask, fuckass?” He looks back to Thyri. “We should get moving. We pissed off half of Golgesi yesterday, and if those idiots managed to survive at all we need to move fast before they manage to undo their achievement.”

“Agreed,” says Thyri. “Jade, my dear? If you could?”

Jade nods and in a glow of green energy casts her direction-finding spell again. You take up your usual place at the centre of the group and note that without even being told to Karkat takes point, sickles drawn and ready for trouble. You actually feel a little safer with him there.

_Strange, Twinblood. From your words I had thought you disliked him greatly._

“Thut up, you,” you mutter. The last thing you need is Sir William poking his incorporeal nose into your business. Karkat glances back when you speak, and you make a rude gesture at him again. He responds with an extremely complicated hand-flap that you suspect is probably Drow Sign Language for _go fuck yourself with a rusty spoon_ or something, but you catch a small grin on his face when he turns back. It's mirrored by your own.

You think you and Karkat are going to have fun together, but whether anyone around you feels the same way is a different matter entirely.

### Suggestions Used

 _solarVerdancy -_ Jade and Crew: Stop by a river to rest.

 _Ms Arano -_ Aradia: Actually, talk to all of the ghosts. Aaaaaaaall of the gh0sts.

 _MASK -_ in the case of ghost having a horrible touch thing, then an additional suggestion - GHOST: politely decline handshake.

 _Ryo Hoshi -_ Aradia: Gain points with ghost by knowing proper manners.

 _BubbleBtch -_ Sollux: you really should be used to this by now stop freaking out

 _Aryashi -_ Sollux: Try not to think about what caused the cave-in. Fail miserably.

 _Ephemeral_Dreamer -_ Jade: Be weirded out by the Ghost... this can't be all natural... right? (be fine with him after getting to know him better)

 _BubbleBtch -_ Jade: get over fear

 _Asuka Kureru -_ Sollux: be nice to Jade for once.

 _Arienna -_ Aradia: Have a friendly chat with Sir Ghost.

 _nanrea -_ Ghost from previous chapter: tell Aradia all about your beloved amulet.

 _Arienna -_ Bec: Freak out because animals + ghosts = AAAAGH

 _Ms Arano -_ Sollux: Have a Moment with Bec, immediately check to see that no one saw.

 _Arienna -_ Dwarves: Continue being awesome.

 _MASK -_ GHOST: enjoy the company--i mean really, most folks either attack you or run the fuck away. the whole ironic "who dares disturb my slumber" thing is a tad overplayed. also, they need to watch out behind them.

 _Aryashi -_ ????: Hear someone cursing out all of space-time and investigate

 _nanrea -_ Karkat: Don't die.

 _AndIMustMask -_ Karkat: be washed surprisingly far away--who'd've thought that massive underground cave systems could have such fast currents?

 _mzingalwa -_ Karkat: Hate everything that currently exists in this dimension

 _Ryo Hoshi -_ Karkat: Have a well-earned flipout

 _Aryashi –_ Karkat: Scream your frustration at the universe at the top of your lungs, monologuing at length and basically calling everything in the cavern down on your head.

 _sionnachsSkulk –_ Karkat: be found by the rescue party

 _nanrea –_ Jade: Discover soggy, singed, and foulmouthed Drow in the river and fish him out

 _mzingalwa -_ Sollux: Find weird angry drow washed up on a riverbank

 _Lucid Dreamer -_ Karkat: Get fished out of the river by someone who DOESN'T want to kill you.

 _nanrea -_ Karkat: Get rescued by Jade. Oh no, she's hot!

 _Arienna -_ Sollux: Do something inadvertently insulting.

 _Arienna -_ Karkat: Evaluate life choices. Possibly at swordpoint.

 _BubbleBtch -_ Sollux: try not to fuck up

 _1JakoftheMoon1 -_ Karkat: investigate strange moaning OHGODHOST.

 _Arienna -_ Karkat: Keep hold of those sickles! Occasionally even Karkat deserves to have nice things!

 _ttd0000 -_ Karkat: Keep being a boss, be adorabloodthirsty.

 _BubbleBtch -_ Ghost: Turn into a fanboy upon realizing that you are in the presence of the chosen.

 _ttd0000 -_ Sollux: Be useful.

 _WhiteTiger1221 -_ Sollux: Do something helpful and useful. Surprise others by doing this.

 _WhiteTiger1221 -_ Aradia: Get a feeling of deja-vu when you meet Karkat. Why does he remind you of a storm?

 _Lucid Dreamer –_ Jade: Find your a strange dwarven weapon in a river. Have Bryn and Thyri recognize it.

 _Lucid Dreamer –_ Sollux: Assume the worst about the fucker who lost their gun in the river.

 _nanrea -_ Karkat: wonder why everyone is so hot. And taller than you. Gods damn it. (sorry, I just love short karkat headcanon)

 _WhiteTiger1221 -_ Jade: Get focused. It's time to save your brother.

 _nanrea -_ Karkat: Get those rejects rounded up and headed to the Deep Caverns before the Matriarchs get a trail on you and burn down the fucking shanties.

 _Sandi -_ Karkat and Sollux: Quickly become best friends to the utter shock of all who know either of you.

 _WhiteTiger1221 -_ Sollux: Surprise everyone, especially yourself by almost immediately becoming friends with Karkat upon meeting him.

[System Notes](http://celynbrum.tumblr.com/post/59705276235/lodad-system-notes-chapter-46)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As you can see, I'm trying a new layout for suggestions. Someone commented- and I agree- that frontloading them gets in the way and disrupts the flow of reading, particularly if someone is reading multiple chapters.
> 
> I'm also considering moving the System information to Tumblr, but I'll have to think harder on that. In any case, I will probably backdate this move if it works out.
> 
> Next week is filler, and then we shall see... :]
> 
> EDIT: A couple of people squeed- I got the William Crosbie name idea from MASK, who said the ghost thing was making them think of it. It wasn't quite a suggestion, but credit where due. :]
> 
> EDIT 2:  
> New layout has been backdated through story. It was super effective!


	47. -- THE MAID OF TIME --

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Hero point votes:**  
>  Jake 4  
> Sollux 4  
> Karkat 2  
> Kanaya 1  
> Dirk 1  
> John 1  
> A DRAW HAS OCCURRED! D20 Roll - Odds for Jake, Evens for Sollux  
> ON A ROLL OF 12, SOLLUX GAINS ONE HERO POINT!  
> Voting now open for the next Hero Point award: one person will get one after three chapters.
> 
>  **Current Hero Points:**  
>  John 4/5, Rose 3/5, Dave 1/3, Jade 1/3  
> Karkat 2/5, **Gamzee 3/3,** Terezi 3/5  
>  Sollux 2/3, Aradia 1/3, Kanaya 1/5  
> Jane 2/5, **Jake 0/5,** Roxy 2/3, **Dirk 3/3**

## THE MAID OF TIME

[](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/20lrkh95itc3gx8/Maid%20of%20Time.png?dl=0)

_Mistress Death, Dreamwalker, The Record Keeper, Lady of the Lost_

ALIGNMENT: True Neutral

PORTFOLIO: Death, History, Dreaming, Inevitability

DOMAINS: Community (Family), Time*, Dream*, Travel (Exploration), Repose (Ancestors), Void (Dark Tapestry)

FAVOURED WEAPON: Whip

THE MAID OF TIME is a goddess of mystery, of things that are ended or else buried deep; the custodian of history, the guide that leads souls to their final rest, and the shadow that passes through the secret dreams of the living.

HISTORY  
Stories of the Maid are common to all peoples of the world. Even those who do not share her worship know her as the guide who waits in dreams and in death; first and foremost she is the guardian of the afterlife, and all will recognise her as such. Stories speak of her as kindly to those with the right to travel, but stern in the administration of her domain. Where she interferes in the affairs of mortals it is most usually to set some imbalance of the natural order to rights. Yet while she does not often act, tales of her interacting- of meeting her in dreams, or on the cusp of life and death- are common, and her company is said to be greatly reassuring. 

PANTHEONS AND RELATIONSHIPS  
The Maid of Time appears in the worship of one pantheon and a duo as well as individually.

In the PANTHEON OF BLOOD, she is the dead goddess, a divine ghost whose end left the MAGE OF DOOM bereft. As with all ghosts she haunts rather than engaging; this void of emotion, filled only with the rage of her death, leaves her without strong loyalty to the KNIGHT OF BLOOD- her supposed leader. In this pantheon her relationship to fate and the inevitable comes to the fore; none escape her, and there is little love in her unbeating heart.

As one of the DREAMLORDS, she is so different as to be almost a separate entity; lively, vivacious and ever-ready to aid. Here she is the guide and the driving force, providing the care that ties the MAGE OF DOOM to the people of the world.

Alone, she is the goddess of death and ancestors, the guide who leads you to your past so that you can move on into your future and the friendly hand who guides you on your final journey. She loves the MAGE OF DOOM dearly and often seeks to help him, but for the most part those who desire her intervention must ask for it.

As an antagonist to other pantheons or deities, she is the enforcer of bitter fate and her cheerful smile may well be a mask to hide an empty heart. She is often seen refusing to aid the KNIGHT OF BLOOD in his quests and will rarely show concern for any who are harmed, even when her powers could save them.

APPEARANCE AND EMISSARIES  
The Maid of Time is usually depicted as a ghostly tiefling with ram's horns, dressed in red and sometimes winged. Despite her ghostly aspect she is often shown smiling and it is common for her hand to be outstretched, as if welcoming the observer to join her.

SERVANTS  
The creature most commonly associated with the Maid are frogs. Despite her connections to death she does not favour the undead; only ghosts are spared her wrath, and even then her aim is to move them on.

_Fate Frogs_  
These large, red-skinned creatures are often sighted after a near-death experience, and although no proof has ever been found they are rumoured to be the carriers of the soul to the afterlife, possessed of strange powers.

CHURCH  
Temples of the Maid are commonly found in most sizeable settlements, although they are rarely large in size. Her cults are considered generally harmless and the traditions are often passed down family lines, leading to small chapels in homes that stand through the generations and are filled by kin of marriage and blood.

WORSHIPPERS AND CLERGY  
Clerics of the Maid of Time are True Neutral, Neutral Good, Neutral Evil, Lawful Neutral, or Chaotic Neutral.

Followers of the Maid are historians, lore-seekers, gravediggers and mystics. Those whose business is death or the dead, seeking the hidden secrets of the mind, or the uncovering of ancient tombs and artefacts find her a welcoming presence.

The clergy of the Maid are most usually Clerics, but some Oracles are called by their ancestors to serve and more than a few Bards with an interest in history have taken her holy orders.

TEMPLES AND SHRINES  
Temples of the Maid are built to show the passage of time. From a simple sundial to complex solar and lunar calendars, they show the changing of the hours, days and seasons at the very heart of the place of worship. It is also common to include a frog pond or pool in the Temple design, and antechambers that store the words of generations past are essential. The walls are decorated with carvings and paintings made by generations of worshippers, and the seating is very comfortable.

HOLY TEXTS  
The holy texts of the Maid of Time are books of history- not dry academic research tomes, but living journals. Her followers keep records their whole lives, which are archived and passed on, and reading the words of the past is a sacred duty to her followers.

_The Journal of the First Follower_  
This account, the most commonly held by all cults of the Maid, purports to be written by her first follower at the creation of all things. Many of the details of this account are of great interest to religious scholars, and it is thought to be the original source for the identification of the fourteen Celestial and Infernal deities.

_The Journal of the Thirdfold Rebel_  
Far more recent, this tome is considered important as it documents the events of the Thirdfold Revolution and the fall of the Starwalkers pantheon along with the Aelfen society of the time. The writer was a fairly highly placed revolutionary; her words provide an interesting insight into what the revolution's leader- whom she called the “Reborn Martyr”, and claimed to be the reincarnated soul of a man betrayed twice by the Church of Blood- was trying to achieve.

_The Journal of the World Walker_  
Interesting as a tome of geography as much as history, it is a common quest amongst those followers so inclined to try and uncover a location described in this journal. The writer travelled across the entire material plane and several others besides, writing of his experiences, and many ancient ruins discovered and forgotten bear the mark he left to show his passage.

HOLIDAYS  
Cults and temples of the Maid are happy to preside over funerals, and accumulate other holy days based on points of historical significance; as time passes, more obscure ones tend to drop off and are replaced, although which ones are observed usually depends on the sect.

_Ancestor Day_  
Although ancestor worship is a common part of the faith, on the first day of the third moon cycle of the northern summer (southern winter) the followers of the Maid hold a celebration for and of all those who have come before. Feasting, singing, dancing and general revelry are shared with empty places at table, and in the evening tales are told of the past.

Notably, this day is held by followers of the Maid to be the day of creation, when the world was made, and as such counts as the marker of new year for all holy records and texts.

[ ](http://th06.deviantart.net/fs70/PRE/i/2013/100/1/b/maid_of_time_by_persephone_the_fish-d616wwc.jpg)

Maid Of Time Portrait by [proserpine-in-phases](http://proserpine-in-phases.tumblr.com/)

\--------------  
* Third Party Domains, 4 Winds Fantasy Gaming


	48. ==> Jake: Finally Flip Your Shit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Hero point votes:**  
>  Jake 4  
> [Note- if anyone wants to transfer their vote now Jake has a hero point, let me know that it's a vote TRANSFER when you do so!]
> 
>  **Current Hero Points:**  
>  John 4/5, Rose 3/5, Dave 1/3, Jade 1/3  
> Karkat 2/5, **Gamzee 3/3,** Terezi 2/5  
>  Sollux 2/3, Aradia 1/3, Kanaya 1/5  
> Jane 2/5, Jake 1/5, Roxy 2/3, **Dirk 3/3**

## ==> Jake: Finally Flip Your Shit

The Deep Caverns are darker than a bat's rear end and consist mostly of uneven tunnels interspersed with sudden caverns. If it wasn't for the silvery glow of your moonrod you would have most likely caved your noggin in against low-hanging stalactites by now. The three of you have been walking in an oppressive, grim silence for hours. You aren't certain just how long these alchemical doohickeys last, but you're on the third one of the day. Given how tired you're feeling you expect it's nigh on time for a rest and you don't see why this particular cavern won't do.

“Terezi!” you call, your cracked voice sounding startlingly loud after an age of only dripping water to meet the ears. “Not to be a bother, but I don't suppose we could have ourselves a sit-down any time soon?”

Five feet ahead of you, Terezi doesn't even look back. “We should keep moving,” she says. Her voice is as broken with disuse as yours.

“For how long?” you ask. “Because if I go much further I rather suspect my feet are going to come off at the ankles, and I think Gamzee might be off in the land of Nod already.”

She does stop for that, turning back to look at the pair of you. By this point you're almost wearing Gamzee as a rather heavy and shabby cloak; he's been walking with his head resting on your shoulder and an arm draped over you, and if it weren't for his breath brushing against your neck and the fact that his feet have been moving the whole time you would suspect him of being dead. You let yourself feel hopeful when she sighs and pushes up her eyeglasses to rub her eyes with one hand.

“Not here,” she says, nodding down towards the shadows of a large rock next to her. “We'll find a better spot.”

“Why, what-” you begin, taking a step closer. The light from your moonrod falls on the patch of shadow, casting it into clear illumination, and you almost drop Gamzee as you jump back. “Great galumphing cephalopods!”

It's a gnarled, twisted, dead _thing,_ so bizarre and unnatural that it takes you a second glance to work out what you're even seeing. Spindly chitinous twigs as long as you are tall curl up around a huge, bulbous body that you had, in the darkness, mistaken for a boulder. It's the shape of a giant, dead spider, except that at one end of the creature the torso and head of a drow sprawl across the rocky floor of the cavern.

Bile rises in your throat and you spin around, your light flashing across other scattered rock-like things that are the same rough shape and size as the deceased monstrosity in front of you. “What the blazing moonbuggery is this?” you demand, voice higher and tighter than you would like to admit. “What are these things?”

“Driders,” says Terezi, casting one last look at the all-too-elfin face staring blankly into the air in death before starting to walk again. “They're put here to guard Golgesi; something obviously tried to break through the perimeter.” She looks around the cavern, noting the same dotted corpses that you've seen. “This is nothing like a full brood. They must have won.”

You look again at the dead monster, a chill running through you. “What the damnation do you mean, 'put here'?” you ask, half-dragging Gamzee as you hurry after Terezi. “Put here by whom? Why do they look- what in the planes _are_ they?”

“They're the kids what nobody was wanting,” whispers Gamzee, his voice loud and plain right next to your ear. You almost jump out of your skin; you weren't expecting him to talk for some time yet, if ever. “They're being got made by them alchemist motherfuckers what are all up and being House Simyager. That's why parents and nannies and shit are always saying to their kids, you behave your ass or we're gonna send you to the alchemists.” He chuckles, breath hot and wet against your skin. “Shit's all motherfucking lies. Can't make a Drider out of nothing but an egg what ain't started no hatching yet. Be me all lying on my spider-ass out here if shit was any other which way.”

You take a deep breath and send a brief prayer to the Smith that you won't vomit. By his mercy and some considerable effort on your part, you manage to only feel hideously nauseous. “They make them from eggs?” you say, eyes darting again to the bulky forms of the dead that you pass. There aren't many, but they're large and hard to miss. “Drow eggs? Are they- can they talk?”

“Yes,” says Terezi, her voice clipping the word. “They can talk, and they can think, and they are also happy to kill and eat anything that comes close enough. Including one another, if they get hungry or bored.” She looks back at you over her shoulder, face grim. “Be glad we've not run into any live ones, and keep your eyes on the roof.”

“Sounds like jolly good advice,” you hear yourself saying, “Better if they amuse themselves while we're around, I suppose!”

There's no response from Terezi. Gamzee snickers into your shoulder, although you suspect that after a while he's started to cry again. You resume your wordless trudging, but this time it gets to you a little more. Maybe it's having too many dark things to mull over, but you don't think you can just let it lie.

“So, I've been thinking,” you say, injecting as much brightness as you can into your words. “When we get out of here and meet up with my family and your friend, would you like to stay with my folks a while? Because you've been jolly decent to me, and I don't know if you had any plans when you got to the surface, but I'd have to be quite the cad to chuck you out in the cold while you're still trying to find your feet!”

There's no reply from either of them, but you refuse to be faint-hearted. “Not that I would blame you if you wanted to go with your friend, Terezi,” you say, continuing. “And maybe Gamzee would too, I don't know- but it could be quite jolly, having another elf around! Besides, a dwarf hold might make for an easier adjustment to sunlight and all...”

“Golgesi is at war with all the nearby dwarf holds,” says Terezi. “I don't think we'd be welcome.”

“Poppycock,” you reply, shifting your grip on Gamzee to maneuver him around an outcropping of stalagmites and into the tunnel that Terezi is following. “Why, when Dad brought me home half the clan was in an uproar, but he didn't let that stop him! Like he said to those brainless oafs back then, it's not about what we were born as, it's about what we can do for one another.” You grin, remembering your mother telling the story. “He also threatened to tan their hides bloody if they ever tried to run me out, and he wasn't the only one, I can tell you that!”

You hear a small snort of laughter from Terezi, and Gamzee smiles into your shoulder. “All kinds of miracles,” he mutters. “C'n Karkat come an' get his live on with us too?”

Your heart skips a beat, then you pat Gamzee's shoulder and slap on a grin. “Sure thing, buddy! He can have my room, all to himself!”

Gamzee mutters something else that sounds like “He'd like that”. Terezi stops and scowls at you.

“Let's take that break,” she says, and you drop to the ground with a sigh. Gamzee drops beside you and slithers off your shoulder, lying down and curling around himself into a small heap of lonesome misery. You scoot back until your back is resting against the side of the tunnel and watch Terezi settling down opposite. She roots through her pack and tosses you a wrapped bundle of food, dropping another one by Gamzee. He ignores it, but you pull apart the waxed parchment and start to pick at the bread and cold meat inside. Your stomach starts grumbling immediately, reminded of how long it's been since your last meal.

“So where are we headed?” you ask. Terezi opens her mouth, then closes it and looks thoughtful.

“I'll draw you a map,” she says. “You can read cave maps, right?”

You nod, taking another bite of your dinner. It's lucky that Terezi knows where you're headed, because Karkat had the only map of the local area. Without her you aren't really sure what you would do. Get eaten by Drow spider-monsters, probably.

Terezi starts scrabbling through her pack again. You take the time to check on Gamzee again. He hasn't moved.

“Come on, buddy,” you say, crawling over and starting to open his food package. “You've got to keep your strength up! Have something to eat.”

He glares at you, but uncurls enough to grab a handful of food and start nibbling on it. You back up again, giving him his space. After seeing him fight those brigands earlier, you really don't want to get too close. Whatever it was that possessed you to jump on him while he was like that is long since passed.

Terezi makes a surprised noise, and you look back to see her holding a piece of damp parchment. After hours of walking you've all dried out enough to stop squelching, but you don't think you've ever regretted an oversight quite so much as your failure to buy any fuel. Although given that most of the fuel in Golgesi is dried dung, maybe it's a good thing you didn't take any for a trip downriver.

“What is it?” you ask, seeing tears glint in the light of the moonrod. She shakes her head.

“It must have fallen out of Karkat's journal before he took it back,” she says, almost whispering. She lies the parchment flat on the ground reverently.

“What does it say?” you ask. She frowns at you.

“He wrote it in charcoal, sunwalker, then we soaked it.”

Oh. You crawl closer to try and see if anything survived, but there are hardly even any dark smudges left on the parchment.

“I'm sorry,” you say, guilty for no particular reason. A dark hand reaches out and grabs the page. You both turn to see Gamzee tug it in towards himself, glaring at you both before retreating back into his ball.

Terezi sighs. “Well, at least I got this too,” she says, pulling out a stick of charcoal from the bag. “It should draw on the ground well enough for maps.” She flaps her hand at you. “You're in the way.”

“Oh, right.” You shuffle backwards again, ending up against the wall. Terezi leans over and starts sketching on the floor. You look back at Gamzee, who has disappeared most of his food, and pull up your knees so you can huddle over them and try to hold some warmth in through the layers of damp cloth you're wearing. From there it's easy to let your head drop forward and rest on them, forming a dark little hollow where neither of your remaining companions can see your face.

Aware that they can still hear you just fine, you keep your breathing deep and even, but when your eyes prickle you don't even try to stop the tears from falling. You hate this. You are sick and tired of this, this _misadventure,_ and you want to go home. You want your father to come and save you and you want your mother to drag you into her workshop and give you a proper ear-bending for losing the gun she made and you want Lars to scold you and Bryn to congratulate you and Vidar to sulk in a corner because you got to go out and have a fine old adventure without him. Only it's not an adventure, it's awful. You've been lost and battered and kidnapped and enslaved and molested and you've had to run and fight and hide just to survive and someone you actually rather liked and were starting to think of as a friend drowned in a river and now you have to deal with his maudlin lunatic of a friend because the admittedly scary woman you hardly know won't and you're wet and cold and tired and there could be terrifying abominations of alchemy creeping up to eat you all alive right now.

Also, you lost your bloody pistol, which you suppose doesn't mean much in the grand scheme of things but leaves you feeling like you're running a little short on options.

“I know this motherfucker.”

You quickly wipe your eyes on your sleeve and look up at the same time as Terezi, ignoring the unfortunately incomprehensible lines she's been scrawling across the floor to stare at Gamzee. He gestures weakly to the page he snaffled earlier.

“This one,” he says. “This is the one what was about us.” He nods to Terezi. “You and me and him. I recognise it on account of it all up and having that shape all being on it.” He prods at one of the dark smudges, the outlines of a black-shaded symbol shaped like an upturned heart still just about visible.

“Us?” Terezi asks, pulling herself a little closer. “What did his trance visions have to say about what we did?”

Gamzee grins, a flash of white teeth. “Same as what we's all been up and to doing already,” he says, levering himself up to sitting. He leans in to whisper conspiratorially to Terezi. “You think it was us as what was up and being doing shit? It's _them_.” He runs his fingertips across the back of her neck and laughs when she slaps his hand away.

“Shut up,” she hisses at him, and you're taken aback by the venom in her voice. “Do you think that the gods are a joke? That Karkat's visions are for laughing at?”

Gamzee's laughter grows louder. “Shit, sister,” he gasps, in between breaths. “Ain't it all being some huge motherfucking joke on us?” He plants one hand on the page and stops laughing, eyes glinting with wicked light; you reach around to grab the hilt of your pick, not sure if you're going to need it or not. “Karkat was all up and seeing it, you know. There was even being words for what these miracles was being. Rage and Mind, they're all up and to being motherfucking kismesis, what as where they ain't got nothing but hate for one another to the point where that motherfucker's close as what love is being. And Mind and Blood, they was sometimes to hating and sometimes to loving, but to where Blood and Rage was being moirails, what is brothers in the soul. So you can see as where us poor mortal motherfuckers weren't having no kind of chance up against the whims what them gods was all up and to putting in our own selves.”

“Liar,” Terezi hisses back. “Don't you dare do that, don't you dare take his words and make them into excuses!”

“Ain't excuses if it's being the righteous truth of what is,” Gamzee says, crawling closer until he's only an inch from her face. “Come on, lawbitch. You know I ain't wrong. We got gods playing us for puppets and it don't matter none what we're wanting or feeling because they'll still be moving through us all the same. You can feel her hating him, same as with all being feeling what she was getting in her heart for her Knight.” He snickers. “You want to hurt something, sister? I'm all up and waiting, if you think you got a chance.”

Terezi growls and launches herself at him, and you have to quickly scramble back out of the way of two wrestling drow. Gamzee quickly gets the upper hand, straddling Terezi's hips with her face pressed into the floor and her arm twisted up behind her. The shock that paralysed you fades when he leans down to lick her neck, replaced by something that is cold and burning at once.

“STOP IT!” you yell, throwing yourself forward and slamming an admittedly feeble punch into Gamzee's side. “Just bloody stop it, the both of you!”

They both stare at you, Gamzee releasing Terezi's arm in shock, but it's like someone's given you a shove and now you're rolling downhill, unable to stop yourself or even slow down. “I am not going to fucking deal with this!” you scream at them, thumping Gamzee again. “I am right here and I am trying to keep positive in the face of this hellpounding bloody mess but you. Are. Not. Helping!” You fist a hand in your hair and tug at it. “For the sake of all that is holy and profane, Gamzee, can't you go five flipfarting minutes without trying to engage in conjugal relations with the nearest warm body? And Terezi, I thought you were supposed to be clever and smart and in control and most particularly not inclined to fall to pieces when we still need you!”

Gamzee falls back and curls up on himself. Terezi pulls herself upright and brushes at her clothes, staring at the wall.

“I miss him,” she says quietly. “I only knew him for a couple of days and I miss him.” She glares over at Gamzee. “And I know that doesn't make sense, but it doesn't have to. It's real and he's gone and I-”

“He ain't gone,” Gamzee says, still staring down. “He ain't, and I don't need nobody looking after me none.” His head moves up and a pair of glittering purple eyes fix on you. “I don't need nobody but me and him.”

You nod, not really sure what else to do. “Okay, buddy. If that's what you want.”

Maybe that wasn't the right thing to say, because suddenly his face softens and he looks lost. Terezi snickers.

“Oh yes, that's very likely,” she says, growing an unpleasant grin. “In fact, maybe Karkat washed up next to Jake's family, and in the next day or so we'll run into a terrible monster that chases us all through the Deep Caverns, and at the same time they will run into a terrible monster that chases him all through the Deep Caverns. There will be a series of hilarious near-misses before we collide with each other head on and immediately discover that we can now kick deserving ass together. That is definitely what is going to happen!”

Gamzee looks over at her with narrowing eyes. You're about to try and jump in between them, because you don't give a downed diddly how upset anyone is right now, starting fights with one another is not going to help one bloody bit- but then you see something shift in the shadows overhead. You tilt your head, trying to make out whether there's something there or whether your eyes are playing tricks on you.

Then something fizzles away and you are staring right at a nightmarish creature, a flapping sheet of shadow that glares back with glowing red eyes. A tail of segmented bone flicks behind it in the air as it opens a gash filled with sharp fangs and hisses at you.

“CLOAKER!” you yell, scrambling to clear your pick from your belt and close with the thing. You've never seen one, but you paid attention to your father's stories and advice, and your heart is hammering. Cloakers are deadly, vicious predators that engulf a chap and scream fit to send the dead themselves into hiding. Now it's seen you your only chance is to take it down first, so hollering an ancient Dwarven cry you swing your pick into it and take a chunk off.

Beside you Terezi whispers something that causes green-blue light to flare around her; it glints off her silvery sword as she draws it, and as the blade sinks into the monster you see some of the wounds on your ally's body close up.

Then the Cloaker flaps its voluminous wings, great flaps that run the length of its body and make it look more like a floating cloth than any living creature, and moans.

The terrible sound hits you in the bones first, a throbbing wail that rises from the pit of your stomach straight into the basic instincts of your mind. Harmonics echo off the rock walls and right back into you, an unearthly groaning that makes you want to do nothing more than run in terror.

You grit your teeth, knowing that if you flee it will only hunt you down and engulf you; your grip shifts on your pick, and beside you Terezi raises her sword again. The Cloaker shimmers in the air above you, fading in and out of the surrounding shadows, suddenly impossible to focus on.

Another voice rises against the moan, an elongated holler that warns you to jump aside. Gamzee leaps past where you were standing, face twisted into the same grinning nightmare you saw on the beach, and swings the discarded sheath of Terezi's swordcane towards the monster.

Just before the blow connects you see her reach out and touch his shoulder; a line of blue-green fire runs from her along his arm, and as the weapon strikes you see twin flares of teal and darkened indigo.

The creature's moan becomes a brief screech, and you duck aside again as the creature falls to the ground in a limp, boneless heap.

“Impressive!”

Your head snaps towards the call and you see a figure standing in the tunnel, the opposite direction from the one you came from, illuminated by a light so bright that your eyes, accustomed to the darkness, start to water. You're already adjusting your grip on your pick when it strikes you that the stranger spoke in Overcommon.

“Who goes there!” you shout back, realising a second too late that this probably wasn't the best move when Gamzee charges at the stranger.

“Gamzee, no!” you shout, and Terezi starts to run, but it's too late, he's already there...

The stranger steps aside from Gamzee's clumsy blow, drops the enormous two-handed hammer he was holding, and tries to grab him; your irate comrade barely ducks the grab and tries to whollop the man, whom you can now see has the characteristic green-tinted skin of orcish descent, with the cane-sheath. The stranger calmly takes the hit on his mail-clad arm then wraps that same arm around Gamzee, bodily lifting him off the ground.

“Calm down, little one!” you hear him saying as you jog up. Terezi gasps and you look past the stranger to see four elves behind him; you half-heartedly raise your pick again, but the lead elf- silver-skinned and golden-haired- raises his hands.

“We mean you no harm,” he says in High Elven. “Please, calm your friend.”

Terezi smirks, snatches her sheath back out of Gamzee's hand, and smacks him across the head with it. He stops thrashing to stare at her in dumbfounded amazement, and after a second his face untwists into a genuine smile.

“Shit, sis, looks like I broke it,” he says, grinning at the dented cane-sheath. Terezi glares at him and looks like she's considering giving him another thwack; you step in and gently pry the admittedly crooked sheath out of her hands.

“I'm sure we can fix it,” you say, not actually having a damn clue if it's fixable but not really caring too much. “For now, how about we say hello to our new friends here?”

You smile at the orcish-looking man and nod. This close, you can see that his face is painted, a grinning mask over his skin. “All sorted!”

He smiles back with a mouth full of tusks and with a rather impressive flip sets Gamzee down in front of him and upright. Your dazed comrade staggers as the stranger claps him on the back with a meaty hand. “Very impressive!” he bellows. “Did you see that, Lori? This boy took down that creature with a single blow!”

“It was already injured!” one of the elves protests; you couldn't tell she was female until she spoke, only a slight curve to her hips giving it away. She's Tuatha, like you, her skin dark brown and her hair a glittering shade of royal blue. “Thought you said it didn't count if it was already injured.”

“It doesn't count if it's nearly _dead,_ ” the orcish-looking man replies. “We'd only struck it a few blows ourselves.” He beams at Gamzee. “Look at him! Little scrapper, ain'tcha?”

Gamzee looks utterly bemused, so you take it upon yourself to translate. Sort of. “He says he's very impressed with your fighting prowess,” you tell the Drow. “As am I. You rather saved our bacon back there!”

If anything, Gamzee looks even more nervous. “Wasn't nothing,” he mutters. “Wasn't even all up and being me, not all real and shit.”

Terezi's eyes are flicking between the five strangers, fingers playing on the hilt of her swordcane. “Who are you and what do they want down here?” she asks them, in High Elven.

“Not that it isn't jolly nice to make your acquaintance,” you add hastily, noting the wicked spike on the reverse of the hammer the orcish-looking man dropped. “But if you don't mind we're a bit discombobulated and wouldn't mind being filled in on what the devil-fucking dickens you're doing down here?”

“Not at all!” the silver-skinned elf says, clapping his hands together. You don't fail to notice the way several of his companions grimace. “It is a long and epic tale, which begins in the distant land of Elharied...”

“Oh, for heavens' sakes, Gwiryn!” exclaims one of the other elves; this one has golden skin and silver hair, and seeing them next to one another does strange things to your eyes. “We're adventurers,” the golden-skinned elf says, sheathing a weapon that you don't quite glimpse. “We're here looking for someone, but if you need a hand now would be the time to shout.”

“A hand?” you ask, confused. The Tuatha woman, Lori, gestures at you.

“You've got two packs between three people, one of you isn't armed, and we did our research before we came down here. The local Drow don't leave their cities in pairs, or keep company with us surface types.”

You glance over at Terezi, who folds her arms. “Our business is none of your concern,” she says firmly, then grins. “But if you wish to aid us, a fire and a spare blanket would be welcome.”

The adventurers turn to one another and start talking in Overcommon.

“What do you think?” asks the golden-skinned elf.

“Could be a trap,” says the fourth elf, a dark-haired man whose lack of armour tells you he's probably a spellcaster. “We were warned about the Drow.”

“They could need help,” the orcish man says. “And it's not much to ask. We were planning to make camp anyway.”

“How do we know they won't cut our throats while we're sleeping?” the spellcaster argues.

“We could ask,” Lori says, glancing over at you. “Hey, kid, anything you want to tell us? These two trouble?”

You bristle slightly at the implication that your Tuatha nature makes you somehow more trustworthy than your comrades. “You don't have to put yourselves out on our account,” you reply, settling your hands on your hips. “We can manage quite well without you, thank you very much!”

“No, no, we wouldn't dream of it!” Gwiryn says, stepping over to put his hands on your shoulders. “Please, we were about to camp for the night,” he says, in High Elven. “Do join us!”

Terezi nods, then points back the way they came. “We should go that way,” she says. “There are dead Driders behind us, and I don't think this tunnel is of an appropriate size for us all.”

The orcish man looks confused, but Lori grins.

“Hey, thanks!” she says. “Come on, guys, let's get back to that last cavern. Do you have your own food?”

You reply in the affirmative and start to move after the gaggle of moving adventurers when Terezi grabs your wrist.

“Look,” she whispers, nodding towards the golden-skinned elf. “His weapon.”

You look, and to your surprise you see a sickle strapped to his hip.

“Are those common weapons, on the surface?” Terezi whispers. You shake your head.

“Not in particular,” you reply. Your gaze flicks to Gamzee, who is drifting along in the wake of the large orcish man. “Should we tell him?”

Terezi shakes her head. “Not yet,” she replies. “We need to gather more evidence and draw some conclusions. Gamzee isn't likely to react well to anything for a while.”

You nod in understanding, but you keep your eyes on the adventurers as you follow the glow of their magical lights through the tunnels of the Deep Caverns.

### Suggestions Used

 _Aryashi -_ Terezi: Keep moving forward. Its all you can do now.

 _Fidonia -_ Gamzee: Become a miserable despondent puddle of black liquid sorrow.

 _mzingalwa -_ Jake: Attempt to lift the parties spirits

 _Someone -_ Gamzee: Your moirail's NOT dead- you can feel it in your bones- So you don't need a new one. But since he's not there, maybe you should try to be as calm as possible, maybe use some of your stash of drugs.

 _Lucid Dreamer -_ Terezi: Discover a single page of Karkat's journal. What you find on it somehow makes your weird-ass relationship triangle with him and Gamzee a million times clearer, more confusing, and distressing all at once.

 _Darwin G'wein -_ Jake: Take a breath as soon as you think no one's looking. Being the happy guy is ridiculously stressful!

 _edenfalling -_ Terezi: Draw a map of your planned escape route. It is totally illegible.

 _Lucid Dreamer -_ Gamzee: Pick a fight. With one of your remaining travelling companions.

 _Lucid Dreamer -_ Jake: Finally flip your shit.

 _mzingalwa -_ Terezi: Find yourself missing Karkat more than is perhaps normal considering the short time you knew him

 _mzingalwa -_ Terezi: Feel sad and useless

 _mzingalwa -_ Gamzee: Feel even more useless

 _1JakoftheMoon1 -_ Terezi: Predict highly unlikely but somewhat comedic disaster in a sarcastic manner. Be completely on the mark like 10 chapters later.

 _unstable_phlegmatic -_ Underdark group: Encounter a Cloaker.

 _unstable_phlegmatic -_ Gamzee: Lose control of rage fighting said Cloaker.

 _nanrea -_ Terezi and Gamzee: Show terrifying proficiency at working together to inflict massive damage.

 _tempestousCoryphee -_ Group: On the way to the caverns, find some characters going the same way and try to hide your identity whilst. Maybe with their help you'll all get out of this in one piece. Not that you should turn your backs on them, but there are dangerous things out there.

 _BubbleBtch -_ Terezi: Be mysterious and awesome

 _Sandi -_ Everyone/anyone: run into the followers of the Knight of Blood

[System Notes](http://celynbrum.tumblr.com/post/44467207803/lodad-system-notes-chapter-48)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another slight format change strikes, farming the system notes out to Tumblr. Feedback and thoughts on these changes are appreciated!
> 
> When rolling the combat for this chapter, Gamzee rolled 20 (on D20) to hit, 20 (on D20) to avoid a 20% miss chance, 20 (on D20) to confirm the critical hit, then 6 and 6 (on D6) for damage. And that is how he killed a Cloaker. For reference, a Cloaker is considered a suitable encounter for a group of four to six level five characters; even with half its hit points, the fact that three level two characters took it down without a scratch is a massive fluke. The original plan was for the adventurers to save their collective rear ends...


	49. ==>  Roxy: Take A Much Needed Rest From Questing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Hero point votes:**  
>  Jake 4
> 
>  **Current Hero Points:**  
>  John 3/5, Rose 3/5, Dave 2/3, Jade 1/3  
> Karkat 2/5, **Gamzee 3/3,** Terezi 2/5  
>  Sollux 2/3, Aradia 1/3, Kanaya 1/5  
> Jane 2/5, Jake 1/5, Roxy 2/3, **Dirk 3/3**

## ==> Roxy: Take A Much Needed Rest From Questing

You raise your cup to take another swig, only to find it empty; you examine the small wooden vessel studiously, in case you happen to be mistaken, but no such luck.

“Crud,” you grumble, and toss the cup at Dirk. He looks over when it hits his ankle then clatters against the boards by his foot, one eyebrow appearing over the edge of his mask.

“You summoned me, your petulance?” he asks. You stick your tongue out and stagger towards him.

“Dirk!” you squeal, draping yourself around his neck out of affection. And also stability. Mostly stability, although he is hots as balls and you are totes wishing you could tap that ass. “Dirk, I ran out've my drink.” You ponder this. “And also my moneys,” you add, because you're pretty sure you remember handing over the last few silver coins from your purse to get the weird salty brown drink- Looglelurk? Loglurch? Something like that.

He sighs. “I'm not buying you more alcohol,” he says. “You've had enough. More than enough.”

“Spoilsport,” you grumble, but you smile at him. “Nope. Want...” you trail off, not quite sure what you do want. After Adel found you a place to stay, and you managed to cough up enough gold between you to satisfy a stern-looking halfling that you weren't gonna destroy his guest-huts, the six of you decided to take a walk and enjoy the Hunter's Eve festivities. It's been fun, really. You've ended up back at the arena by way of stalls selling food and booze, and there's been music and happy little people everywhere. They're cute, although you're absolutely one hundred percent sure that it would be rude to tell them that.

The idea strikes you and it's perfect. “I wanna see you do your play-thing!” you tell Dirk, rocking back on your heels a little so he has to catch you. You wonder if John's arms are so strong. “Just like you and Davey do in Porthaven!”

Dirk glances over at his brother, who's leaning over the rail with John and seeing who can make the biggest spit-ball.

“Hey, Dave!” he yells. The other aasimar boy looks around, and Dirk taps his money-purse. “You up for a show?”

Dave nods, and the next thing you know you're being deposited in a cosy corner where you can sit with your back to a tree-trunk and lean on Janey's shoulder. John sits on her other side where you sadly can't get at him, and your sister is on his other side making notes in her new journal like a boring old boring pants. Frigglish, traitor that he is, has abandoned you to go and get fussed by your sister.

You are like ninety percents sure that familiars are not supposed to get so familiar with other people who aren't you, but you don't really mind. It actually makes you feel a bit comforted, sometimes, when Frigglish is getting a fuss.

Dave and Dirk pull in a small crowd- literally- with a warmup set that involves them tossing battle poetry back and forth like a hot potato. They're good- you're pretty sure they're making it all up on the spot- but you're a little too fuzzy-headed to really appreciate their hard work. You let your thoughts drift as they break into the story of the Bandit King and the Hero.

“Roxy,” whispers a voice next to you, and you grin up at Janey. Good ol' Janey. She's been an absolute sweetheart to you, bringing all the latest gossip up to the temple when she came to discuss her free inn idea thingy. Right now she's holding out a bottle of something, which you happily take and swig. You feel slightly disappointed when it turns out to be fruit juice that isn't all fermented and boozy, but you guess you were thirsty and it was considerate of her, so you drink some more and cuddle the bottle.

“Can I ask you something?” she whispers, and you giggle.

“Already did,” you point out. “But sure thing. I'm allays- alwoos- aways- eh, you know, I'm here for my best girl.”

You see her blush a little and duck her head down, which is so fuckin' adorbs and Janey all over. “I was wondering about this mission we're on,” she asks you, still keeping her voice low. “I mean, I know what Rose says, about her visions and the undead and the end of the world- but how does she know it's in a year? What if we have more time, or less? What about our plans- do we have any, beyond going to the Starspire? What if that doesn't work?” Jane's eyes are getting wide and you clumsily pat her knee, trying to break through her babbling.

“Clam down, Janey,” you say in your best soothing voice. “Iss a party now. Just watch Dirk and Davey do their thing and have a drink.” You offer up her bottle of fruit juice and are resoundingly ignored.

“I saw it in Porthaven,” Jane whispers. “And even if I hadn't- I don't know how you can be so jolly and relaxed when we have doomsday looming over us!”

You sigh and take a sip from the bottle yourself. It's nice fruity juice, better than anything you had in the temple. Halflings know their tipple, you'll give them that. “I dunno about the others,” you say, staring up at the darkening sky through the treetops, “but I don't wanna waste what might be my last ever chance to have some fun.”

Jane pauses and looks back over at Rose, still scribbling away, and John who seems taken by Dirk and Dave's play. “I'll tell you something about John if you help me out,” she tells you.

“Deal,” you say immediately, because who wouldn't want to know more about Mr Hunky Hammerpants. You roll your way back to roughly upright, not sure exactly when you slumped over but certain that it's not the way to deliver information of import, and take care to look Janey in the eyes. “Okay, so here's the thing;” you tell your friend, quietly so your sister can't hear. “Rose doesn't know a lotta stuff. She knows the time thing as part of the whole vision dealie, I don't really get it 'cos visions aren't my thing, but planning? We've never had to do that before. She thinks of stuff as information, so she wants to get more and give us someplace to start.”

Jane frowns. “But we need more than that!”

You nod solemnly. “Yup. Let me know if you think of anything.” You take another swig from the bottle and nod. “That's what I got. Now cough up the goods on Hamm- on John.”

She gives you a slightly odd look, then leans in close to whisper without any chance of being overheard. “He's a sucker for playing the hero. Not that I'd advise being a damsel in distress or anything- he wouldn't go for that- but make it like a story for him. One with plenty of action and thrilling heroics.”

You solemnly reach out and lay your hand over Jane's. “You are a true and worthy sister,” you tell her. “May the blessings of the Unseen Goddess keep you safe.”

She keep a straight face for maybe three seconds before cracking up. You giggle with her, snuggling back against her shoulder.

“Roxy?” she asks.

“Yeah?”

“Is there a way to get a message to my sister or my brother?” She looks worried. “John and I, we sent letters to Mum and Dad, but I don't want to put Jade or Jake out of their way, and if you had any magic that would let us get in touch with them...”

You shake your head. “Sorry, Janey,” you say, genuinely regretful. “But th's no spells that'll send a message that far in my book, an' it sounds like divination.” You pout. “'M no good at divination.”

“Oh, well,” says Jane, and she doesn't sounds quite right to you. “It was worth a shot.”

“Sure was,” you agree. Looking back at the play you can see it's wrapping up; Dave's taking bows and holding out a cup, while Dirk strolls over to where the four of you are sat.

“Not trying to fleece more money from the crowd?” Jane asks him. Dirk shrugs, which is like a huge-ass smile in Dirk language.

“Nah. Bunch of cheapskates around here,” he says, then gives a jerk of his head indicating come on, then. “Do any of you want to join us?”

“Join you where?” asks John, already getting to his feet.

“We're gonna do some sparring in the arena,” Dave says, wandering over. He holds a small handful of copper and silver coins out to Dirk, who takes them and vanishes them into his coin purse. “Give the locals a show after this little warm-up act.”

“Cool!” John says, starting to walk towards the ladder down. “I call dibs on first bout with Dave!”

You wave a hand in the air until Dirk grabs it and helps haul you to your feet. He's a real gentleman, your Dirk. It's one of the things you love about him.

“I believe I shall remain here,” Rose says, barely glancing up as Jane gets to her feet to follow.

“Nuh-uh!” you say, and Frigglish mews and starts fidgeting on your sister's lap. “Come on! It'll be fun!”

Rose glares at you over her new journal. “Fun,” she repeats. “Yes, I am certain that beating one another to a pulp will certainly prove entertaining. I will be there immediately.”

“Rose,” says Dirk, and the two of them look at one another. You get the sense that they're having a silent conversation, one that can only be followed by people who are so good at being all long and wordy that they don't even need to speak their arguments aloud. Dirk apparently wins, because Rose closes her journal with a snap and stands, brushing dust off her skirts.

“Very well, then,” she says, breezing past the rest of you to the ladder and somehow managing to be the first one down. There's some shuffling around as the rest of you work out what order you want to descend in- Dirk just walks to the next ladder along, and despite your best efforts you don't manage to go down just after John so you can accidentally on purpose fall on top of him. Instead it's Dave who catches you when you slip for reals, lowering you to the ground with a tip of an imaginary hat and a “Ma'am.” Dave is pretty cute too, although you wouldn't expect any less from Dirk's bro.

The arena area is empty of people except for you and one lone halfling polishing a wicked-looking hooked sword across the circle of trodden earth. The rest of the fighters all packed in and started off home when the sun started to fade. Rose drops her journal and a few of her heavier possessions at the edge of the circle, where you can now see a low wooden fence holding the thick tangles of bramble at bay. You join her, slumping down by the fence and taking another gulp of delicious but sadly not boozy fruit juice.

“Okay, it's just sparring, so grab a wooden weapon or pull your blows,” Dirk says- to John or his brother, you can't quite tell. “Arm up.”

The boys aren't the only ones dumping packs and pulling on armour; you grin at Janey as she grabs her studded leather and starts to strap it on.

“Can you give me a hand with this?” John asks her. He's divested himself of his hat and belt, and to your surprise is tugging at his shirt. “I don't want to get this one all sweaty- the one I've been wearing is in the bag.”

You can see Jane moving out of the corner of your eye, but you're not really paying attention because... damn. You know you're still kind of tipsy, maybe even woozy, but you are not imagining those abs. Or that chest. Elves don't really do that whole body hair thing so you can see every inch of his skin, smooth and sculpted and how was he hiding that bod from you?

At least you're not the only one who's been blind-sided by this. Rose is peeking out the corner of her eye and trying to pretend she isn't, and Dirk's not even managing to hide the fact that he's gawping. You're pretty sure he's glad to have loose pants and a whole bunch of distracting ribbons right now.

Your show is abruptly and rudely spoiled by Jane, who throws an obviously grubbier shirt at her brother's head. He pulls it away, grinning, and you reaffirm your intention to one day have your wicked, wicked way with that elf. For now, you sit back and watch the two of them arm up. It's more impressive than watching Dirk or Dave- those two just sort of shrug their way into their armour. John and Jane work as a pair, tightening straps and tying laces.

They even finish with a little flourish, Jane twirling her trident while John hefts his hammer. It's a big hammer; you're starting to suspect you know where those muscles came from, although you're still trying to see if Janey has anything similar under that tunic of hers.

“So, John called dibs on first match with me, right?” Dave says. He's twirling that super-mysterious new sword of his, practising swinging it around his head. It's really too big for stabbing, although he's doing a decent job of chopping one-handed.

“You know, most people don't invite their best bro buddies to help them play with their swords,” Dirk says, wandering over to a weapon rack to grab a wooden blade. “Or at least, not before finding a nice, private corner.”

“What can I say? Me and John, we're a love for the ages, bro,” says Dave, draping an arm around John's shoulder. “Whaddya say, Warden? Shall we elope to the far hills, travelling the world and vanquishing monsters until we can find a cleric who will marry our asses?”

John laughs, and it's beautiful, clear and joyful like the bells on- on the Church of the Heir, actually. You guess that might not be such a surprise. “We can't elope, Dave, not with a world to save!”

“Well, then,” says Dave, and suddenly he's dipping John almost to the ground one-handed and wiggling his eyebrows. “Guess we're just gonna be livin' in sin a while longer.”

“Oh, for goodness' sake,” Jane snaps, hefting her trident and walking over to Dirk. “Am I the only one here who isn't planning to flirt with, drool over or otherwise lust after my brother?”

“Eww! Gross!” John says, followed by a brief “oof!” when Dave drops him to the floor.

“Gross indeed,” Jane agrees. “Now are you two going to spar, or do I have to prod you both into action?”

“Fine, fine!” John says, laughing as he squares up to Dave and raises his hammer. “You ready there, buddy?”

Dave's response is a swinging blade; John doesn't jump back fast enough, and lets out an “oof!” as the blade slams into his ribs. His hammer circles round, twirling over John's head and bearing down on the sword. It's a big, signalled move, and Dave has time to slam another blow into John's belly before the hammer lands.

There is a loud clang of metal on metal, and for an instant you feel a hot wind rush past you. Then Dave is catching a stumbling John with one hand and dropping the shattered remains of his sword from the other.

“Oh, man, I'm sorry!” John says, peering back at the broken weapon as Dave helps him back over to the wall. “I didn't really want to break your sword!”

“Nah, it's cool,” says Dave, dropping him off a good few metres away from you. Le sigh. “Dirk's right, it was a cheap piece of shit. I knew that. You okay?”

He sounds kind of disappointed, but from the way he fusses over John you figure he's more worried about his friend. Jane watches just long enough to be sure her brother is okay, then raises her trident and points it at Dirk.

“Come on, then,” she says. “No reason we can't get started.”

Dirk nods and raises the practise sword. Jane circles him, weighing her own weapon in her hand and holding her shield out defensively. You wonder where she picked up the weapon- it's not too strange a choice for followers of the Maid, but you thought her and Johnny were trying to hide their marks.

You were expecting Dirk to move first, but it's Jane who lunges faster, and to your surprise Dirk gets jabbed in the arm. He counterattacks straight away, but maybe the wooden sword is too different from his usual blades or something, because his blow just kinda bounces off Janey's armour.

The trident stabs out again and Dirk goes stumbling backwards; before Jane can follow, he drops his weapon and raises his hands in a gesture of surrender. For a moment the light of the setting sun flares behind Jane, a rich orange-gold glow that pours around her. She's panting, loose strands of sweat-soaked hair are falling into her eyes, and she's wearing the biggest triumphant grin you've ever seen on her. For a moment, your friend isn't just a goddess, she's a war goddess, fierce and brilliant and victorious.

It's at that precise moment that John, fresh from his own bout with Dave, decides to hit his sister with a flying tackle from the side.

The moment is broken and you turn your attention back to the last swig of fruit juice as the siblings start a loud and fairly good-natured wrestling match. You glance over at Rose, wondering, and see her looking back at you with a small smile. “If you would like?” she says, holding out a hand. You ignore it and push yourself to your own feet, albeit shakily.

“Bring it!” you say, and she raises her hands with a growing smirk.

You grin back and shift to the right, letting your familiar get behind Rose. She catches sight of a flash of white fur, half-turns her head to see what you're up to.

In that moment, you summon up a burst of arcane power, and punch your sister in the face with all the force your magically-augmented arms can muster.

She falls on her butt in the dirt and you can't help it, it's too funny. You laugh, lifting Frigglish back up as she stands and frowns.

“You cheated,” she says.

“It's a totes legit strategy,” you reply, still snickering. Glancing over at John, you see him bury his face in his hands. Jane's doing the same, her shoulders shaking with amusement.

Rose sighs and wordlessly goes to help Dave collect the pieces of his sword. You slump back down against the wall and smile at Janey when she crouches down next to you and starts going through the piles of stuff that everyone's dumped there.

“Whatcha doin'?” you ask her. Jane looks at you with a wicked grin.

“I'm going to see what I can do about cleaning up that shirt of his,” she says, eyes twinkling. “After all, it's a little old- I thought maybe one of our hosts might have some dye I could use on it. Maybe a nice pink.”

You snicker and secretly hope that John's response would be to not wear a shirt at all. “I'll help you hide it,” you whisper. “I gots all kindsa leet hiding things skills.”

“Thank you,” says Jane, turning back to her search. “The offer is...” she breaks off. “Oh.”

“What's up?”

She holds up the jacket that Dave discarded before starting sparring, and you notice that she's chewing on her lower lip. “Roxy, is this the only jacket Dave has?”

You nod, because although he's got some other clothes back in the caravan you don't remember seeing him in any other jacket. “Yep, that's the one.”

“He wasn't wearing this,” she whispers. “When he gave me the sword, he was wearing a different jacket. It looked similar, but seeing it this close- it's different.”

It's a puzzle, alright, and you spare a glance for your fellow aasimar. He's starting to circle with Dirk, the two of them squaring off like they've done this a thousand times before. “Maybe he had one in the caravan?” You don't bother suggesting that she made it up like Rose would. You know Janey wouldn't lie, not like this, but you have to admit that you don't see how Dave could have done anything.

“Damn,” Jane says, dropping Dave's jacket and grabbing John's shirt to stuff into her own pack. “I sure wish I knew what was going on there.”

You agree whole-heartedly with the sentiment, and you're about to express it further when Dave comes over to grab the rest of his things. The six of you, sweaty and tired but way less tense than before, head back up the ladder and back to your quarters for the night. The halfling village doesn't really have inns, exactly, but the little cluster of huts you've hired seem to serve the same basic purpose. They're even designed to take people who are larger, and your group spent a happy half-hour or so earlier setting up bedrolls to your satisfaction.

Jane insists that nobody is going to bed until you've had some food, so you all crowd into the largest hut- meant for Dave and Dirk- and squeeze yourselves in to form a huge warm pile of limbs and friendship. Cushions and blankets are retrieved from the other huts and with some slightly aggressive shoving you ensure yourself a place next to John. You lie on your front, shoulder resting against his knee, and let yourself daydream about lying across his lap.

“So, I was talking to some of the locals earlier,” says Dirk, accepting a bowl of something steaming and delicious-smelling from Jane. “Apparently, local custom is to spend Hunter's Eve telling ghost stories with friends and loved ones.”

Rose, across the room from you, raises an eyebrow. “Do you really feel that attempting to scare one another silly is a productive use of our time?”

“Yes,” say you, John, and Dave in chorus. Dirk's mouth twitches in the ghost of a smirk, and Rose sighs as she accepts her dinner from Jane.

“Thank you. Very well, then, as it seems this is to be our fate, would anyone care to volunteer to begin?”

“Oh!” John bounces next to you. He's not shed his sweaty shirt, but you can imagine. “I know one!”

“Can't wait to hear it, bro,” says Dave, shifting so he can lounge further across the floor. “Waiting on serious tenterhooks here, got myself some serious sicknasty kinds of tense going.”

“Well, you should, because this is scary!” John says, still grinning. He sets down his bowl on the floor and leans forward. “Now, this is a story that I heard from Brigid Bearslayer, who heard it from a trap-springer she used to adventure with. Now, this wasn't his first dungeon; he'd been working as an adventurer for about six years, so he was used to all sorts. Golems, undead, unholy abominations of magic, you name it, he'd seen it.”

It's a little hard to keep your eyes on him, so you roll over onto your back and watch the shadows and light from the fire flicker across his face. John looks almost like a stranger from this angle.

“So anyway, they'd been down in the dungeon for about three days, and they were getting real close to the central chamber they were looking for when they had to split up. There was this narrow tunnel full of traps, see, and they sent him ahead to deal with it and open this big door they couldn't get through from the other side.”

“Let me guess, the walls all closed in and squashed him,” Dave drawls, looking as floppy as you on the floor.

“How would he tell the story then, dumbass?” asks Jane. John giggles.

“Yeah, this is way scarier than that,” he says. “So, because he was like, this awesome professional, he managed to get through the tunnel and disarm all the traps and even fight off some zombies and stuff on the other side! But when he got to the door, it was open!”

“I thought you said they were unable to open it,” Rose says. You glare at her for interrupting; she fails to care.

John, oblivious to your silent argument, grins. “Oh, yeah! But he figured they must have worked it out.” He laughs. “Guess he was pretty pissed, if they sent him the long way round! So he went looking for them, and found this other door ajar. He goes in and they're all just standing there looking at something round the corner, the rest of his party who he's been with for five years plus by this point.” He leans forward and you appreciate the view. “So, they notice him coming, and walk over and he asks what was up and they say, oh, nothing, it's getting late, let's make camp. So they go back a couple of chambers and set up for the night.”

John's smile fades, and he looks around at each of you. “So later that night, he's on watch when he decides fuck it, I'm gonna go see what they were all looking at in that room. He sneaks off back...”

“Leaving them unguarded in the middle of the night in a dangerous location,” Dirk cuts in. “I thought you said he was experienced, John.”

“He was!” John says. “There were spooky vibes!” You join in with the sceptical looks he gets, and he snorts. “Come on, guys, do you want to hear the rest of the story or not?”

“Yes!” you say, and everyone else nods. John grins.

“Right! So, he goes back to the room from earlier, and when he goes around the corner they were standing at, he sees these mirrors. Like, four of them, just standing there facing each other, in these big ornate frames. And he's about to step closer, get a proper look, when his foot bumped against something. He looked down to see-”

“The body of one of his party,” chorus Dave and Jane. John pouts.

“It's an old one, dude,” Dave adds. “Find the dead friends by the mirrors, go running and find them all sitting alive in the next room, either end up dead, doppelgangered or legging it before they eat your soul or some shit.” He flops over and grabs the remains of his sword, picking at the binding on the hilt.

“Yeah, well you could have let me finish it!” John says. You attempt to comfort him by patting his knee.

“Perhaps I could make a more thrilling tale?” Rose offers. You can practically feel the attention switching, and suddenly you feel the pressing need for another drink.

“Let's see what you've got,” Dirk says. Your sister smiles.

“Tell me, how familiar are you with the history of the Stormwrack coast?”

“I've heard some things,” Dirk says, evasive. “But I always listen for a well-told story.”

“Naturally.” Rose nods to him. “This story begins in the decades following the fall of the Peninsula Theocracy, when pirates and brigands ruled the seas and the land. There were few good souls in those dark days, and yet some still survived. One such was a priest, a knight of the old ways, whose sword was ever ready to defend the weak and the helpless from evil.”

Your sister bows her head, smiles secretively. “The knight became famed for his good heart and powerful sword, yet that fame proved to be his undoing. The warlords of the coast came for him and killed his family before his eyes. They burned his home, destroyed his world, and tortured him to the edge of death. At first he prayed, but as everything was taken from him his spirit broke and his faith was shattered. Broken and dying, he renounced the gods he had served his whole life, and made an oath to serve any dark power that would grant him his vengeance- not only against his killers, but against the world that had failed him.”

You squirm, trying to get comfortable. It's better told, but you don't think this is a better ghost story than John's.

“What happened?” Jane asks.

Rose smiles. “Nothing. His body was burned, the ashes scattered to the four winds. Only his helm survived, to be taken as a trophy by the warlord who killed him.” She takes a last spoonful of dinner, then sets her bowl down. “In time, that warlord grew tired of killing, and settled on the coast. A city grew from the camp, ruled by the children and grandchildren of the warlord, and they named it Porthaven.”

Your sister smirks. “When the aasimar first came to Porthaven, they found a prosperous city, ruled by a nobility of long standing. The Prince offered their ambassador a gift; a golden helm that had been passed down his family for generations. The ambassador accepted the gift, giving it to his servant and forgetting it immediately as they partook of a sumptuous feast.”

“That night, the ambassador woke abruptly from his slumber to find his chambers entirely silent. Thinking this strange, he rose from his bed and went in search of others, but as he wandered through the palace he saw not another living soul. His feet took him to the throne room, where he saw a man in golden armour sat upon the Prince's chair; the eyeless helm turned to look at him and in unknowable terror he fled back to his own room, there to hide until morn.”

Rose looks around at all of you, making eye contact for an instant before moving past. “When he woke the next day, he was greeted by his servant, and dismissed the entire experience as a dream. The day passed in further celebration, and when he once again returned to his bed he had all but forgotten what had transpired. Not so when he woke again to silence.”

“This time he was ready, taking a blade with him as he walked the empty castle. His feet echoed, the only sound to be heard save his own heart beating, and he once again found his way to the throne room. When he saw the golden-armoured figure he was determined to be bold, but the moment that black gaze turned upon him he could feel nothing but fear, and once again he fled.”

“The next day he woke in cold shivers, and before he had even dressed or eaten he ordered the helm destroyed. He watched it taken to the palace smith where it was heated by fire and beaten by hammers into a mangled lump of metal. The rest of the day was spent in apology, every one of his servants sure their master had lost his mind, but when he went to his rest that evening he did so with an easier heart.”

“His dreams that night were sweet; he dreamed of home, of the City of Light and the first Temple of the Eight. His eyes opened to daylight in peace and happiness- but his joy faded when he realised that, although indisputably awake, he could not hear any other.”

“The ambassador ran through the halls of the palace, as empty as it had ever been in his dreams. Behind every door was a room with no occupants, although cups and books and dice stood waiting as if only left for a moment. He came again to the door of the throne room, and was almost too afraid to cross the threshold. But, he reasoned, were it a dream then this was the way he must go to awaken.”

“There was no golden knight in the throne room, no waiting ghost or monster. But on the throne sat the golden helm, and before it in a pool of blood was the crown of the Prince of Porthaven.”

“The city guard found him there, later that day, silent and staring. He ranted and raved as they dragged him away, told them the tale. None heeded him and he was thrown into a dark cell to await execution. Yet when they came to take him to his death, they found the dungeon empty save for a single golden helm.”

Rose folds her arms. “Thus began the long and bloody war between the aasimar and the city of Porthaven, which ended with the institution of the current theocratic government. The helm was taken to the city vaults, but vanished shortly thereafter.” She smiles. “But sometimes, every few years, they say that a family from the city will vanish. Wherever they may be in the world, whatever roads they have travelled, every relation of that house disappears in a single night. And all that is ever found of them is a single golden helm.”

Silence follows her proclamation, and although you know it's just a silly old story a shiver does run down your spine.

“Is that true?” asks John. Jane slaps at him.

“No, silly, we'd know if whole families were going missing,” she says. “It would be the talk of the Wardens.”

“Would it?” Rose says, eyebrow raising.

“Yes, of course it would,” says Jane, folding her arms. “No such thing is happening.”

“I smell a cover-up,” Dave says, then frowns at the sword-hilt he's been fiddling with. “Huh.”

“What?” asks Dirk.

“It's got a word on it,” Dave says. “Under the binding. Says... Caliburn?”

Six pairs of eyes stare in shock as the broken sword starts to glow a dull orange-red, and with a sound like the grinding of gears lashes of burning light stretch out from the hilt to form a perfect, unshattered blade. It flares and glows like red-hot metal, then the colour fades, leaving Dave holding a perfect, unbroken weapon. You all stare wordlessly at the sword.

“Fuck me,” says Dirk, and you pretty much gotta agree with him on that.

### Suggestions Used

 _ttd0000 -_ Roxy, Dave, Dirk, John: Take much needed rest from questing to enjoy a religious festival.

 _ttd0000 -_ Rose, Jane: Honestly try to have fun as doomsday looms; fail.

 _WhiteTiger1221 –_ Jane: As an investigator you must know some more info about the mission, grill Roxy for details. If she does not relent bribe her with information about your brother, she seems to like him for some reason.

 _ttd0000 -_ Jane: Attempt to get sloshed wizard's help in informing your sister of your status and destination; Lament the fate of the world with saviors such as these.

 _RandomGal -_ Dirk: Everyone get yourselves together! Chopchop!

 _ttd0000 -_ John: Unintentionally show off Man-grit if you know what I mean, what sounds like swooning?

 _ttd0000 -_ Roxy: Be surprised at how good John looks, it wasn't just beer goggles o_O!

 _ttd0000 -_ Rose: Try not to stare, Roxy has first dibs, peek anyway.

 _ttd0000 -_ Dirk: Stare like it's your birthday!

 _ttd0000 -_ Jane: Be mildly grossed out at the attention your brother is getting.

 _ttd0000 –_ John and Jane: Lock and Load Montage

 _Aryashi -_ Dave: Practice with new sword

 _BubbleBtch -_ Dave: play with your sword.

 _BubbleBtch -_ Dirk: make joke about dave playing with his sword

 _BubbleBtch –_ Dave: wiggle eyebrows

 _1JakoftheMoon1 -_ Dave, John: spar.

 _Antartique -_ Relatively good sword: promptly break after first use

 _Antartique –_ Dave: Acquire 1/2 bladekind Weapon

 _sionnachsSkulk -_ Jane: Have a Badass moment

 _BubbleBtch -_ Jane: be sexy on accident

 _sionnachsSkulk -_ John: Ruin Jane's Badass moment

 _Arienna -_ Jane: Get ambushed by something.

 _BubbleBtch -_ Rose: spar with roxy

 _BubbleBtch -_ Roxy: cheat

 _BubbleBtch –_ John: Face palm X2 combo

 _BubbleBtch –_ Jane: make that a X4 combo

 _Ms Arano -_ Jane: Deface Johns clothes in a way that is super embarrassing but won't actually hinder him in a fight.

 _Ms Arano -_ Jane: Examine Dave's mask and clothes a bit more closely, try to figure out what was bugging you about Dave when he gave you the sword.

 _edenfalling -_ Jane: Figure out what was bugging you about Dave's mask and clothes.

 _ttd0000 -_ Dirk: Next rest, declare it perfect for ghost stories.

 _ttd0000 -_ John: Tell decent story but flub the delivery, how will anybody take you seriously if you keep giggling.

 _ttd0000 -_ Rose: Tell scariest story of all.

 _purpleBookworm –_ command word for LPOTS: be some form of the name of King Arthur's sword

[System Notes](http://celynbrum.tumblr.com/post/45053513202/lodad-system-notes-chapter-49)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I don't know if purpleBookworm knew this when they suggested: “command word for LPOTS: be some form of the name of King Arthur's sword”, but according to Wikipedia (source of all my non-technical knowledge)-
> 
> “The name Excalibur apparently derives from the Welsh Caledfwlch which combines the elements caled ("battle, hard"), and bwlch ("breach, gap, notch"). Geoffrey of Monmouth Latinised this to Caliburnus (likely influenced by the medieval Latin spelling calibs of Classical Latin chalybs, from Greek "χάλυψ", "steel"), the name of Arthur's sword in his 12th-century work Historia Regum Britanniae. Caliburnus or Caliburn became Excalibur, Escalibor, and other variations when the Arthurian legend entered into French literature.”
> 
> Clearly, I had no choice but to use Caliburn.
> 
> EDIT: Fanart for this chapter!  
> [Mr Hunky Hammer Pants](http://25.media.tumblr.com/df59de6e595d540ed0ec3346b878726f/tumblr_mjgunkBooY1rc8hlto1_1280.jpg) by [proserpine-in-phases](http://proserpine-in-phases.tumblr.com/) (it is amusing).


	50. ==> Kanaya: Relay Information, Be The Badass

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Hero point votes:**  
>  Jake 4  
> Roxy 1
> 
> **Current Hero Points:**  
>  John 3/5, Rose 3/5, Dave 2/3, Jade 1/3  
> Karkat 2/5, **Gamzee 3/3,** Terezi 2/5  
>  Sollux 2/3, Aradia 1/3, **Kanaya 0/5**  
>  Jane 2/5, Jake 1/5, Roxy 2/3, **Dirk 3/3**

## ==> Kanaya: Relay Information, Be The Badass

On Gunnar's advice your group has decided to rest for the night, stopping in one of the smaller caves along the way. It's a well-chosen spot, with only two approaches and a pool of cool water that from its movement is replenished by a source deeper in the mountain, but watching Lars and Vidar as they set up a campfire and unpack bedrolls leaves you unconvinced.

“Are you certain that we should be pausing our journey?” you ask Gunnar, the next time he walks past your own carefully arranged bedding. The older dwarf follows your gaze to his sons, silently unpacking a cooking kit, and sighs.

“We don't really have much choice, old girl,” he says. You shuffle over to make space when he drops down beside you, and watch with interest when he grabs a long stick from the fire to draw on the stone floor.

“Here's where we were separated,” he says, making some smudged marks. “And this here is where we're meeting my girls and your chums. Now, the route they're taking goes off in this direction.” He makes another rough mark. “We're headed this way, which as you can see takes us rather a long route. It'll be a good few hours yet before we reach our rendezvous.”

You shake your head; tunnel maps have never been your strong suit, and you suspect you lack entirely the capacity to understand charcoal sketch versions. “But down here we are dangerously close to the outer limits of Golgesi's territory,” you say, glancing back at the two younger dwarves. “And even without considering safety in numbers, surely you are anxious to rejoin your family? I know that I am concerned for the wellbeing of my own companions.” You don't wish to impugn the competence of Aradia or Sollux, especially since they have other people to keep an eye on them, but you would feel better with them under your eye. Especially Sollux.

Gunnar stares at you for a moment, then slaps his forehead. “Smith's forge, you're a bally elf!” He shakes his head and chuckles; you look in confusion between him and his sons as they settle down.

“I beg your pardon?”

“Unfortunately, old girl, those of us who need sleep can't keep going so long as you can without rest,” the older dwarf tells you. “Me and the boys are bloody knackered.”

“Speak for yourself, you old codger,” says Vidar, but he follows his words with a yawn. You reach out and lay a hand on his arm.

“If you need to sleep then it is best not to push yourself,” you say. “Your father is quite correct on that point; exhaustion puts us all in danger.” You turn back to Gunnar. “Since I will not need to trance for some time yet, I volunteer myself for the first watch. It is a role I am used to filling for Aradia and Sollux.”

“Oh, thank the Smith,” says Lars. Vidar snickers and punches his brother in the shoulder.

“Thank you for your kind offer, and I do believe we will be taking you up on it,” says Gunnar. “And I shall be taking the second watch. Experience trumps youth on this one, boys.”

From the lack of protest from his sons, you don't think they mind all that much. You glance over at the campfire, burning merrily away, and blink as the brightness of the fire stings your eyes. It's strange how comfortable you feel here, surrounded by stone and shadow. You would have thought that two years above ground would have made a difference, but you suppose you have a lifetime of living in these caverns etched across your being.

“Shall we prepare some evening provisions?” you ask, shrugging off the confusion. An eyeblink later, three additional packs are on the ground in front of you and you are holding a collapsible pot. A large hand claps you on the shoulder and you look over to see Gunnar smiling fondly at you.

“Jolly good show,” he says, eyes twinkling. “Just the way to volunteer, eh?”

You stammer something and try to hand the pot over. Gunnar chuckles and takes it.

“A hand is always welcome, I know,” he says, starting to assemble the apparatus. “So, if you don't mind my asking, how old are you?”

“Twenty-three,” you reply, digging through the packs for supplies. “Why should I mind you asking?”

Gunnar shrugs. “I've known people who took rather a strong dislike to the question.” He takes the pot over to the pool and half-fills it. “The same age as my Jake, although I can't say I'm terribly surprised. Not that familiar with drow, exactly, but you don't look that old.”

Not sure what else to say, you go with; “Thank you?”

“If she's the same age as Jake and adventuring, why the dickens can't I sign onto a party?” asks Vidar, looking up from the heavy pick-like weapon he's attending to.

“Because I bloody well say so,” says Gunnar, returning to the fireside.

“But that's not _fair!”_ Vidar grumbles.

“Vid, old boy...” Lars begins. His brother cuts him off with a glare.

“No! This is completely bloody arse over tit!” He pouts and scuffs at the ground with one foot. “I'm older than she is, and you aren't saying she should stay at home!”

Your jaw tightens. “If I return home I will be executed.”

You spoke quietly, but volume isn't necessary to draw the attention of your companions.

“Why, what did you do?” asks Vidar. Lars slaps him in the back of the head.

“Don't be a git,” he says.

You cannot help but smile. “No, it is a sensible enough question.” You note that the water has started bubbling, and throw in one of the ration bricks Thyri packed. The tightly-packed mass immediately starts unfurling in the water. “As it happens, it is not entirely accurate, as it is not so much a matter of what I have done so much as what my relatives did.”

Vidar folds his arms. “Well, I'm sorry to sound like those old fogeys in the Council of Clans, but if they'd put the blame on you for something someone else did I can't say I think much of the bloody Drow!”

Lars nods reluctant agreement with his brother. You glance over at Gunnar, who gives you a small nod and a wink.

“I wouldn't say it's so uncivilised as all that,” he says. “Think, boys. If I were to assassinate the head of the Clan-”

“You wouldn't!” Lars exclaims. Gunnar raises his hand to stall further objection.

“Yes, but imagine I did. Now, how do you think the rest of the clan would deal with you, your mother and sister, and your brother?”

“They wouldn't bloody execute us!” Lars says, but Vidar looks thoughtful.

“They wouldn't trust us, though,” he says, half to his brother and half to himself. “We'd practically be outcasts- hells, they might just chuck Jake out altogether, and I suppose if they thought he'd somehow corrupted Dad with his elfy ways or something they might even banish him to the caverns.”

“He's right,” says Gunnar, when Lars looks mutinous. “Perhaps the Drow of Golgesi take it a little further than we would, but if there is one thing I learned in my adventuring days it's that every society is unfair one way or another.” He looks over at you. “Perhaps you could give the boys a little more insight into our Golgesi neighbours?”

You suppose that it is a story they might find valuable, considering the nature of your mission. Your own escape from Golgesi might well hold valuable information, although you don't know precisely what that might be. You nod.

“The first thing you need to understand is that although I have been convicted for my family's crime, I do not consider this to be at all unfair,” you tell them. “I agreed with their motives if not their actions, which were taken with the intent of restoring justice to a system that has become corrupt and befouled beyond all reason.” You shake your head. “There is corruption in the heart of Golgesi, poisoning it, and my family sought reforms that would have broken the power of those who benefit. They were outspoken enough that I, with the authority of my Goddess' mark, was seen as a significant threat.”

“But surely they couldn't do anything to you, if that mark meant so much?” Vidar leans over. You pass him a bowl and ladle a spoonful out of the pot.

“Not directly,” you agree. “But that is not how the priestesses act. My friend and I became aware of an assassination plot targeting me, and knew that it would be the first of many. She helped to arrange my escape.”

“This is the friend who's getting my son out?” Gunnar asks. You nod.

“Yes. Terezi.” You smile. “A devotee of the Seer, and an astute one.” You almost tell them about her mark- but Terezi wouldn't want that, and your life has seen more secrets kept than told. “She helped to protect me at the temple while I got into contact with some more extreme members of the reform movement.” You smile. “I did not want her to be tied to them, of course, but her aid was invaluable in preserving my life.”

“So how did you get out?” asks Lars. “These caves are bloody dangerous, and no offence, but I hardly see you sneaking out on your own!”

You pass him a bowl before filling your own. “I assure you, I had no intentions of attempting to navigate the Deep Caverns alone. This was a year or two ago, and I had spent my life studying in the Temple, not risking my life in combat or exploration.” You take a spoonful of your dinner, which tastes rather strange. Dwarven food, it seems, is not entirely suited to an elven palate. “Fortunately, the people I was in contact with had smuggled people out of Golgesi before. Their services were- and most likely still are- in high demand, but luckily for me I was a person of enough importance to be moved up the list.”

“What happened?” asks Gunnar, as curious as his sons.

You shrug. “In the end, it was fairly simple. The reformists have a line of contact with certain people on the surface; on the promise of reimbursement, provided in my case by a prudent withdrawal from the Temple funds, those surface contacts hire an adventuring party to make their way down to a meeting point in the Deep Caverns. Meanwhile the reformers give a time and directions to the person or persons fleeing the city, and they make their way to the meeting point to be escorted to the surface.” You shrug. “With the aid of my friend, I made it to my rendezvous, and was led safely to the surface. From what I read of her message, I am guessing that we are aiming for that same meeting spot now. If nothing else, she may be hoping to find allies of the reformers should we fail to arrive.”

“And that's it?” says Vidar. “It was that easy?”

“I should hardly call it easy,” you say. “Making it to the meeting point from Golgesi is hardly safe or simple, and the adventurers only wait for a day- missing them is entirely possible. There are also funding problems for those not fortunate enough to have access to a Temple treasury, and a group less scrupulous than the party who led me to the surface might easily abandon their clients either in the caverns or the forest.” You shake your head. “I was fortunate that my escorts ensured my safe delivery into a party of travellers bound for Porthaven.”

“Sounds like a bloody nightmare,” says Lars.

“It was,” you say softly. The four of you eat in silence for a while.

“So what were they like, the adventurers who led you out?” asks Gunnar. “Anyone I know?”

You chuckle, brightening as you remember them. You may have only spent a few days in their company, but they certainly left an impression on you. “I don't know. If you spent much time along the Stormwrack Coast then I doubt it; I certainly haven't encountered them again, and I suspect they originate and operate on the far side of the Dragon's Teeth.” You drain the last of your meal and set the bowl aside for later scrubbing; you can do it on watch. “They were mostly Tuatha, although a couple of them were Aelfen. One was a Seer, even, and a trained priest. He and I had some interesting conversations on comparative religion. There was one debate in particular I found engaging, on the role of the layperson in the conversion and...”

You stop when you see that all three of them are staring at you. “They were friendly,” you say, feeling that summary might be of more use to them. “No, not friendly- they were caring. I don't know how else to describe it. They wanted me to feel safe. It was very reassuring.”

“Then I am very glad that you had them to help you,” says Gunnar. You smile at him.

“Indeed,” you say, and everything goes dark.

You know immediately that the darkness is unnatural, and not only because the fire would have had to go out instantaneously. From the cursing of the dwarves you are certain that whatever it is has affected you all, but you are a drow; the magic in your blood and bones is born of shadows, and no mundane darkness would ever leave you unable to see. Your heart pounds as you turn your head left and right, sparkles of imagined colour flashing in your eyes. You fight an irrational urge to pound on the air and force yourself to keep breathing, the blackness pressing down around you with an almost physical presence.

Whilst it is possible that you might be magically blinded, your proximity to the deep roads makes you believe otherwise. You may not know much about the monsters that prowl the Deep Caverns, but as an initiate of the Sylph you were well-briefed on certain creatures that you might expect to encounter.

“Is everyone armed?” whispers Gunnar. Lars and Vidar answer in the affirmative; you slide your sabre from its sheath and raise it, ears twitching. You can hear things skittering in the darkness, chitin on rock that seems to echo from every corner, including above and below.

“Driders,” you whisper, and hear a gasp that might be either of the younger dwarves. “Listen for their approach.”

The four of you fall silent, and over your own breathing you can hear something hiss and snicker. Something brushes your head and you jump forwards before realising it was only a trickle of dust and stone.

“Overhead and just to your left,” murmurs Gunnar, and you ready your hand but don't turn. If you're lucky, that's the one that will attack. If you're very lucky, your one shot will work. You never reached sufficient rank in the Temple to test your knowledge of the mysteries, never put to the test the gifts you have been granted by your Goddess, but you know that the four of you cannot possibly fight off one drider, let alone the number you can hear around you.

_Mother of Monsters, hear me._ Your lips move in silent prayer as you feel the knot of divine energy gather in your core, cool and darkly gleaming. _I seek power over those who would harm me. I ask for your voice to still your children's jaws._

“KANAYA!”

Gunnar's shout warns you and you spin, hand outthrust. The air bursts with a rush of warmth and the sound of distant wind, and you feel the shield of the Goddess fall into place just in time to halt a heavy blow.

The skittering stops, and from the unnatural blackness ahead of you a voice says, “Ssylph.”

The echoes that follow don't just come from the cave walls, and you attempt to quash the fear burning through you. As you recall, they can smell it, and find it appetising.

“I command your obedience, in the name of the Goddess I serve,” you say, in the common tongue of the surface races. The driders around you start hissing, spiderspeak that only they can understand.

“You talk in the tongue of the ssurfasse,” your attacker says, their voice dry and whispering. “You ssmell of the ssity and fear. You sspeak with the voisse of the Mother.” It hisses, silencing its chittering siblings. “Exssplain.”

Memories of lessons taught an age ago come back to you. If you have to persuade a Drider to respect you, then you've already lost.

“I need explain nothing,” you say, making your voice as cold as you can. “You have felt my Lady's power; obey it, or feel her ire.”

More chittering follows; you fight not to flinch when something puffs against your cheek and you smell the stench of rotting meat.

“We obey, Missstresss,” says the spokesdrider. You think it might be female, if only because the others fall silent when she speaks. “You sspeak with the voisse of the Mother.” A pause. “We sseek food, Missstresss.”

“I say!” says a dwarf. It sounds like Lars. The driders start chittering in a manner that sounds suspiciously like laughter.

“ENOUGH!” you shout, and are gratified when the creatures fall silent. “We are not food,” you say, keeping your gaze straight ahead to where you can hear another creature breathing- close, too close. “You may not consume the companions of a priestess any more than you may consume the priestess herself.”

Your conversational partner hisses. “Not even one?” she asks, sounding almost plaintive. “Ssmall morsselss, jusst one, a merssy for uss.”

“Must I repeat my instructions?” you ask, doing your best to sound like someone who could enforce such orders. You suppose you were convincing when silence is the only reply. Nobody moves, and your mind casts about looking for something to say, something that will keep this strange truce going without ending in you all being consumed. Your mind falls on Sollux and Aradia, on Terezi and Jake.

“I have other companions travelling in these caverns,” you say. “They are also off-limits.”

Silence once again fills the darkness, ending when the spokesdrow says; “Desscribe.”

You swallow. “Two other dwarves- like these, but female. A tiefling woman, and a half-tiefling man, both sorcerers. A surface elf and her companion creature. They are most likely travelling together but may not be, so err on the side of caution.” You think on what you read of Terezi's letter. “There is another group- a priestess of the Seer, who herself has companions. I believe one is a sunwalker, but at any rate, you are to treat those under her protection as being under mine. Do you understand?”

“Undersstand,” the drider hisses. “The dwarvess, the sorcererss, the ssurfasserss, and the Sseer'ss priesstess and her companionss, all are under the protection of the Mother. We shall not eat them, ass it pleassess her.”

You fold your arms and decide to be daring. “I require more than that,” you say. “I want you to spread the word to all the protectors of these caverns. Safe passage and protection, or the wrath of the Mother.”

More hissing. “We hear and obey, Misstress,” says your drider. “Passsage and protection, our promisse.” More voices chitter around you, agreements in a mishmash of common and undercommon and High Elven and spiderspeak that send chills up your spine.

“Well, then?” you ask, raising your chin a little- because even if you cannot see in the darkness, it raises your spirits with it. “You have your mission.”

There is a brief bout of chittering, and then another blast of foul-smelling breath brushes your face. “A gift, Missstresss,” says your drow. “A boon, a blesssing.”

“What gift?” you ask, wondering in a panic what the creature might ask for.

“A kisss from the Mother,” the drider says, and all around you the darkness hisses and clatters. “We sserve, we are good children, show her love for uss.”

She sounds childlike, even hopeful, and disgust wars with pity. Pragmatism tilts the balance.

“Of course,” you say, and reach out with your free hand until you brush against skin. It feels warm, soft. Elfin. Your fingers run along the curve of a cheek and cup a jaw, their tips only just meeting the edges of chitin. Your stomach churns as you gently tug, guiding the head closer; you try to convince yourself that this is just another elf, but that is hard to believe when you can feel the angle of the neck and tell how far the creature is bending down to meet you. Legs skitter against the floor and you almost baulk.

“Mother?” says the drider, and she sounds so young and so lost that you suddenly wonder who she might have been, what she might have done, had her egg not been used to create a twisted and unnatural monster. You hold onto that as you lean forwards and lay a gentle, lingering kiss on what you hope to be her forehead.

“Never doubt the love of your Mother,” you tell her, the words springing from somewhere deep within you. You don't know precisely where, but it's akin to the part of you that wants to take your sabre to the entirety of House Simyager.

The cave fills once again with chittering and the sound of chitin on stone. You release your grip and feel the drider vanish backwards, but it takes some time for the sounds to fade. You grip your sword and don't move, even when silence envelops the four of you once again.

After a long pause, Vidar clears his throat. “Are... are they gone?”

The words are no sooner out of his mouth than the darkness lifts. You blink, eyes watering in the shock of contrast as the flickering light of the fire springs back out to illuminate the surrounding stone, and ignore Lars staring wildly around at the bare ceiling and walls.

“Looks like it, son,” says Gunnar. “And a bloody relief that is, too.” He looks over at you, sheathing his pistol once again, and nods. “Jolly good show, girl. Saved our bacon and no mistake.”

“I am very glad it worked,” you say. Lars and Vidar stare at you in horror.

“You mean you didn't bloody know it would?” Vidar squeaks. Gunnar chuckles darkly and slaps his younger son on the back.

“Welcome to the adventuring lifestyle, lad,” he says. “Now come on, we should get some rest before any other buggers show up to ruin our night.”

As the dwarves head for their bedrolls, you settle in with your back to the fire to keep watch on the two approaches. Compared to the dim glow around you, they are two holes into darkness, drawing your eye deeper and deeper into the depths of the world.

You offer up one more silent prayer, that the ones you care about will be safe in their travels, and spend the time until Gunnar relieves you fearing all the ways they might not be.

[ ](http://pre05.deviantart.net/4c37/th/pre/f/2016/024/7/8/mother_of_monsters_by_trecorde-d9p8utq.png)

Fanart Illustration by [trecorde](http://trecorde.deviantart.com/art/Mother-Of-Monsters-586599182)

### Suggestions Used

_Nikotehfox -_ Kanaya: Dungeoncrawl with Dwarves

_Arienna -_ Kanaya: Track down your errant companions, possibly while wondering how much more trouble they'll get into in the short time you're gone.

_ttd0000 -_ Kanaya: Be disturbed at how much being in the underdark feels like coming home; Get on with dwarfs like a house on fire.

_WhiteTiger1221 -_ Kanaya: Relay information on how you managed to escape Golgesi as it may be useful in attempting to infiltrate it.

_ttd0000 -_ Kanaya: Let thoughts wander to bright elf seer you meet once.

_beetle -_ Anybody but Terezi: go (temporarily) blind

_BubbleBtch –_ Shit: appear to get real, but just fake it

_1JakoftheMoon1 -_ Driders: be driders.

_1JakoftheMoon1 -_ Kanaya: Fucking spiders.

_nanrea -_ Kanaya: Be an incredible bad ass and take down a horrifying monster by yourself like it's no big deal because, hey, it's not like you haven't been down here before.

_VelvetDownpour –_ Kanaya is awesome. “I Came Here To Kill Monsters And Fuck Bitches”

[System Notes](http://celynbrum.tumblr.com/post/45606078573/lodad-system-notes-chapter-50)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just to point out/remind people, if you click there where it says “System Notes”, you will find the dice rolls and suchlike for the chapter! :]


	51. -- THE SYLPH OF SPACE --

## THE SYLPH OF SPACE

[](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/e9mryp2hsc9vx6p/Sylph%20of%20Space.png?dl=0)   
_Deathless One, the Mother of Monsters, the Lady Below, All-Mother_

ALIGNMENT: True Neutral

PORTFOLIO: Neutrality, Undeath, Necessity, Motherhood

DOMAINS: Renewal*, Travel (), Charm (Love), Death (Undead), Plant (Growth), Earth (Caves)

FAVOURED WEAPON: Sawtooth Sabre

THE SYLPH OF SPACE is a goddess who seeks accord wherever it can be negotiated; where care is needed she gives it, offering the chance of redemption to those who have been forsaken by all others- or bloody vengeance to those who betray her trust.

HISTORY  
Those who worship the Sylph hail her as the mother of all beings, great and noble to small and mean. Whether they love her or fear her, those who acknowledge her agree that she cares for all her children, but most of all those who are in need of love. Some call her the Goddess of Monsters, but her supporters argue that this is a misrepresentation as anyone may claim her care.

PANTHEONS AND RELATIONSHIPS  
The Sylph of Space appears in the worship of two different pantheons as well as individually.

In the PANTHEON OF BLOOD, she is the quiet councillor and usually the least confrontational of the gods- yet when she perceives a threat to her fellows, she becomes the incarnation of death itself. Her closest ties are to the KNIGHT OF BLOOD, but it is said that the moons are her children and that she loves them above all else.

Within the STARWALKERS, a pantheon whose worship has faded in all but a few lands, she is the caretaker and mother of the other gods, with the exception of the BARD OF RAGE whom she hates for killing her children. She spares him only out of affection for the KNIGHT OF BLOOD, who has long been her friend and trusted comrade. Her relationship with the SEER OF LIGHT is also close, as either sisters or lovers depending on the priest consulted.

Alone, she is widely worshipped as a mother goddess, and not just by elvenkind. Many cults also hold her to be a goddess of vengeance and protection, and undead such as vampires and liches commonly maintain a shrine to her as the patron of their “second birth”. She shares many legends and tales with both the SEER OF LIGHT- as a sister or lover- and with the KNIGHT OF BLOOD- as a friend or motherly figure to the wandering god. Interestingly, a figure resembling her appears in many legends of the lunar cults- most especially those of ANTARES, as a sister or lover, and SADALMELIK as the vengeful hunter of that moon's Lord.

As an antagonist to other pantheons or deities, she is the bringer of monsters or of hunters, the shadowy danger lurking beneath the surface of the world and the curse of undeath. It is said that the Deep Caverns are her doing, and that she protects them fiercely. The only deity for whom she provides any consistent opposition is the BARD OF RAGE, whom she attempts to hunt through several legends. Rarely does she present as antagonist to the KNIGHT OF BLOOD or SEER OF LIGHT in their individual legends.

APPEARANCE AND EMISSARIES  
The Sylph of Space is most commonly depicted as a tiefling, drow or merrow, with images split between living and vampiric depictions. She is shown shining with a pale light and surrounded by other beings- usually new members of whatever species the image was created for, although sometimes plants are shown. She may often be depicted pregnant and wearing jade green, and is often shown in extreme environments- burning deserts, blackened caverns, and frozen wastes to name but a few.

SERVANTS  
The Sylph favours no creature over any others, but any creature of the world may become her eyes and ears should she wish it unless they carry the protection of another deity.

_Lady Bones_  
This ancient lich is the stuff of legend in her own right; said to have been spurned by a wizard in centuries past, she mastered the arcane arts and invented the dark and profane art of attaining lichdom. Whether in regret or in search of more power, she turned to worship of the Sylph, and is said to be the most powerful cleric of the goddess on all the planes. It is claimed that she sits at the heart of a network of undead cults- but as no-one has been able to see her in generations, it is impossible to be certain.

_The Trinity_  
According to legend, if one descends far enough into the Deep Caverns it is possible to find one's way to the Centre of the World. There, in a vast cavern, lie the roots of a mighty tree and three veiled women. If this trinity can be suitably impressed, perhaps by the accomplishment of a quest, the Goddess herself will appear and grant a boon.

CHURCH  
Temples of the Sylph are nearly always present in Drow cities, but her cults are strong across the world and every large population houses at least one of her places of worship. Former Aelfen lands in particular favour her solo worship, although this is balanced by some distaste for her presence in the lands near AUR PALAS where faith in the PAGE OF HOPE is strongest.

WORSHIPPERS AND CLERGY  
Clerics of the Sylph of Space are True Neutral, Neutral Good, Neutral Evil, Lawful Neutral, or Chaotic Neutral.

Followers of the Sylph are drawn from all walks of life, places and species, but what they most often have in common is a need for love, acceptance and protection that is not being met. Orphans and monsters alike turn to her in need, and stay where they are welcomed.

The clergy of the Sylph are a fairly even split of Clerics and Oracles; the former are usual in places with an organised Temple and hierarchy, while the latter are often gifted in places where the Goddess sees a need for her influence.

TEMPLES AND SHRINES  
Temples of the Sylph are underground, buried in caves, cellars or basements. They are nonetheless brightly lit wherever possible, and filled with living creatures both plant and animal. Her altars are often constructed for blood sacrifice, as the Goddess appreciates such offerings; as a result, her clergy often possess heavy aprons in addition to immaculately tailored robes.

HOLY TEXTS  
The holy texts of the Temple of Space are most usually stories of the Goddess, told in the manner of a fireside tale. These are supplemented by practical texts written by generations of followers on whatever matters their particular hierarchy held most dear, but these secondary tomes are not considered to be holy so much as revered for their collected wisdom.

_The Tale Of Moons_  
This story helps to link certain disparate aspects of worship between the Sylph, the Lunar Cults and the BARD OF RAGE, by laying out a rough narrative for the birth, lives and deaths of the Sylph's children. It is thus popular with religious scholars, although somewhat less so amongst ordinary folk.

_The Courtship Of Light And Shade_  
An entire cycle of tales involving the Sylph and the SEER OF LIGHT, covering many minor legends as well as entire stories that seem to have been lifted almost verbatim from THE TALE OF SKAIA. Nonetheless, they weave together well, and taken in tandem with that other illustrious book it can be noted that no contradictions are to be found.

_C'gof'nn C'grah'nn Lw'nafh'nafl Nglui Shugg Ch'shagg'nafl_  
This grimoire, cast out from the Church of Light, has found a home in many of the more darkly inclined cults of the Sylph. It seems to have been the main source for much of the COURTSHIP OF LIGHT AND SHADE, along with local folk myths.

HOLIDAYS  
Cults and temples of the Sylph celebrate hatchings and marriages, as well as recovery from illness or injury, in addition to their own holy days.

_First Moon_  
There are six moons, and each of them has its own associated custom when full for the first time in a given year. ANTARES is celebrated with the giving of money as gifts and scavenger hunts; ALDEBARAN by adoption of both pets and orphans. SADALMELIK is marked by tournaments and parades, while ALRESCHA is a time for charity and healing. For RUKBAT the celebrations often include displays and exhibitions, while for REGULUS hunting and feasting is the tradition.

_Moondark_  
Whenever it comes about that all six moons are new at once- a moderately rare occurrence- followers of the Sylph will spend the day sealed indoors, clad in black. It is a solemn time, and a fearful one, when the Goddess stalks the world wrathful and nothing is to be forgiven.

[ ](http://th06.deviantart.net/fs70/PRE/i/2014/030/2/d/sylph_of_space_by_persephone_the_fish-d74ffdq.jpg)

Sylph Of Space Portrait by [proserpine-in-phases](http://proserpine-in-phases.tumblr.com/)

\--------------  
* Third Party Domains, 4 Winds Fantasy Gaming

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ANNOUNCEMENT!
> 
> Because of [reasons](http://celynbrum.tumblr.com/post/46161794166/lodad-filler-chapter-up-alternian-nation-au-update), next week I intend to follow the suggestion:
> 
>  
> 
> _celynBrum: Treat yourself to something nice. You've earned it._
> 
>  
> 
> This means that there will be NO LODAD UPDATE NEXT WEEK (Sunday 31/03/2013). Normal fanfic service will resume the following week (Sunday 07/04/2013). Consider yourselves told.


	52. ==> Dreamer: Regret

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Hero point votes:**  
>  Jake 4  
> Roxy 1  
> Kanaya 11  
> KANAYA GAINS ONE HERO POINT!  
> Voting now open for the next Hero Point award: one person will get one at the next filler chapter.
> 
>  **Current Hero Points:**  
>  John 3/5, Rose 3/5, Dave 2/3, Jade 1/3  
> Karkat 2/5, **Gamzee 3/3,** Terezi 2/5  
>  Sollux 1/3, Aradia 1/3, Kanaya 1/5  
> Jane 2/5, Jake 1/5, Roxy 2/3, **Dirk 3/3**

## ==> Dreamer: Regret

The crowd is cheering. You struggle against your captors, screaming and cursing and trying to throw yourself at the ground, anything to get out of the iron grip they have on your arms. Dignity is for people who are going to live to enjoy it.

None of it does any good; they've had to drag you around a couple of times already and they're used to your bullshit. When they first captured you. When they moved you to the cells under the High Temple. When they hauled you out again for that putrid joke of a trial. When they threw you into that fucking cage, hanging over the square, on display for the general public to come and gawk and throw things at. They chucked all kinds of shit at you, rotting and stinking, but the language was the worst.

 _Liar. Traitor. Heretic._ You are none of those things, but in hindsight it only makes sense that the Council of Clerics would turn your accusations back on you. You're just a lone madman to them, after all; ranting and raving about unprovable visions. Entire nations have put their faith in this fucking mockery of a religion. You wanted to fix it, to use what you knew to turn the faith back to its true path, but now you'd rather just tear it down. Rip the Temple of Blood up by the roots and burn it to ashes.

The thought makes a bitter grin twist your face, and you let out a harsh bark of laughter. One of the guards responds by sinking a fist into your belly and you gulp for air, hanging loose from their grip as the tears stream down your face. There are shackles on your wrists and your ankles, half a dozen armed guards around you, and you can see the wooden stake up ahead. They've already piled the bundles of firewood around the bottom. There are three masked priests standing by it, carrying lit torches.

You didn't think you had it in you to fight any harder, but the moment you see it you discover you were wrong. Your screams get louder and the guards have to literally drag you over to the stone podium; you wouldn't be able to use words right now even if they hadn't cut your fucking tongue out, but inside you're frantic, begging to any god that will listen, praying that you aren't going to be killed by these fake-faithful fucks again.

They have to take the shackles off to bind you to the stake and you manage to get loose long enough to put one of your guards on the floor. The rest slam you against the solid chunk of wooden pillar hard enough to make you see stars, and all you can hear is the crowd jeering. Fuck those assholes, fuck them so hard. You don't want to save them any more. If you had any shits left you would be holding them in reserve right now. For the first time since you were dragged away you fall silent, determined that if you can't fight your way out of this you aren't going to give them the satisfaction of your pain.

A fourth priest has appeared and he's reading from a parchment- the list of charges against you. You don't bother listening. You know them all already and they're such a complete load of horseshit that you don't understand how he can say them without having to swallow a bottle of perfume after every word. You turn your face up to look at the sun; you know you aren't supposed to look at it directly, but you aren't going to need these eyes much longer anyway and some part of you is still hoping for a miracle that won't come.

You don't see the torch touched to the wood in front of you, but you hear the crackling and feel the spreading heat. Your heart leaps in sudden, sickening fear. What will it feel like, when it reaches you? You close your eyes and dig your teeth into your lower lip and vow to bite clean through it before you make any noise.

YOU'RE A FUCKING IDIOT.

Your eyes fly open and you see him standing in front of you, a young tiefling with your face and piercing red eyes, dressed in battered grey armour. You don't have to ask who he is.

THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT, you tell the Knight of Blood, your face twisting into the snarl you can't quite vocalise.

RIGHT, BECAUSE I'M THE ONE WHO DECIDED TO START SLINGING INSULTS AT THE CORRUPT AUTHORITIES OF AN ALL-POWERFUL TEMPLE. He leans forward and flicks one yellow claw into your forehead; your head slams back into the post and you feel the pain, front and back. DON'T TRY AND PIN YOUR CRAPPY IDEAS ON ME. I AM SO MUCH MORE INTELLIGENT THAN YOU, THE DIFFERENCE IS ACTUALLY PAINFUL TO CONTEMPLATE.

YOU'RE REALLY HERE! Your eyes go wide with the revelation. GET ME OUT! GET ME THE FUCK OUT!

CAN'T, says the God, and you think there might even be a faint tinge of regret to the word.

Unfortunately, you're not in any mood to accept mere regret, even from one of the creators of the cosmos. WHY NOT? you scream, pulling forward in your bonds. Your feet and lower legs are starting to get very, very hot. I'M HERE BECAUSE OF YOU! BECAUSE YOU SENT ME THOSE FUCKING VISIONS! BECAUSE I WAS LOYAL TO YOU! BECAUSE I TRIED TO SAVE YOUR TEMPLE! YOU OWE ME FOR EVERYTHING I'VE SACRIFICED FOR YOU, YOU UTTER FUCKING BASTARD!

You can't read the expression he turns on you, but one of his hands comes up to rest on your shoulder. THERE IS SHIT-ALL I CAN DO, IDIOT, BECAUSE THIS ISN'T HAPPENING, he says.

You stare at him, dazed with rising hope. YOU MEAN, THIS ISN'T REAL?

NO, he replies, and those blood-red eyes meet yours full of the weight of aeons. THIS IS REAL. BUT IT ALREADY HAPPENED, A LONG TIME AGO. THIS IS JUST ANOTHER VISION.

I DIED, you whisper, the flames freezing as you remember. The square casts over grey, the people becoming statues, but they aren't important. The only things in the universe are you, and Him. HOLY FUCKING SHIT, I DIED! AGAIN!

REINCARNATION'S A BITCH, the Knight agrees, taking a step back and tilting his head. AND YET, IN AN ACT OF COMPLETE MINDLESS FUCKERY THAT WOULD KEEP THE PURPLE LALONDE DISGUSTINGLY SELF-SATISFIED FOR COUNTLESS AGES TO COME SHOULD SHE LEARN OF IT, WE KEEP ON FUCKING DOING IT, DON'T WE?

WE DO? you echo, and you feel the sharp sting as he slaps your face.

'M RELYING ON YOU, YOU LITTLE SHIT, he says. I THOUGHT THIS HORRIFIC SCENARIO MIGHT WORK TO JOG YOUR MEMORY, BECAUSE APPARANTLY NOTHING ELSE IS WORKING.

MEMORY OF WHAT?

He leans in, eyes glittering. You feel yourself falling into a history that stretches back to before the creation of the universe, encompassed with rage and love and fear. This isn't history, it's experience, raw and painful and passionate; you shrink back from the soul of a god, the impossible weight of a life that has only on occasion been good or easy.

EVERYTHING.

You drop out of trance into a body that is shivering with cold and soaked with sweat, and thrash your way out of the bundle of bedroll and blanket that you managed to cocoon yourself in before trancing. The details of the dream are still sharp and vivid in your mind, the panic and the certainty of death etching every last hideous second into the forefront of your thoughts.

“Memory of everything,” you mutter, trying to keep the words fresh as you start rooting through your pack. The tiefling, Aradia, dried it out for you with a casual flick of her fingers that would have worried you more if her jackass freak of a boyfriend hadn't been distracting you with his asshole antics. You ignore the stare you get from that same asshole; he's over on the other side of the campfire, supposedly keeping watch. Actually he's mostly watching the big grey dog-thing that is currently meditating with its mistress. Considering she's Jake's sister, you don't think Jade is so bad, but just from the little you saw of her yesterday you don't see why that idiot would risk pissing her off.

There's a small whimper from the tiefling, who's curled up against Sollux's leg. He actually diverts his attention from you and the dog to give her a reassuring stroke, and you shudder. She's been moving around and making scared or sad noises all night, even though she isn't conscious. Sleeping is freaky as fuck and you're glad you don't do it.

“Already happened, a long time ago... fuck, fuck, where IS IT?” Losing patience, you grab your pack and upend it, scattering your pathetic collection of worldly possessions across the ground. Your journal, battered and messed up, is not among them.

“FUCK!” You grab the nearest item- your whetstone, and hurl it at the wall. Aradia wakes with a yelp and Sollux glares at you; Jade doesn't move.

“Shurrahellup,” mumbles the younger dwarf, Bryn, rolling over in her blanket. You ignore her, scattering your possessions as you desperately hunt for something that isn't fucking there.

“What'th your problem?” asks Sollux, glaring at you. You glare right back at him.

“It's fucking gone, is what's wrong!” you snap, feeling the memories of your trance vision fading from your head with the burst of fresh panic. “It's gone, and I need it five fucking minutes ago!”

“What's gone?” asks Aradia, propping herself up on her elbows. “Maybe we can get you a new one?”

“Unleth it'th your drugth,” Sollux adds, looking a little smug. “Probably not the betht idea to give you thothe.”

You give them both a look, and from the way they stare back you must look as hollow as you feel right now. “It's not drugs, fuckass,” you growl, flushing red as you remember how easily these assholes had searched your pack and confiscated the wrapped Pesh doses you'd tucked safely away at the bottom. “I told you, those aren't mine, I was just looking after them for a friend!”

“Thure you were,” Sollux says, so soothing that you want to punch his teeth right out the back of his head because he doesn't get it.

“It's my thrice-damned journal,” you say, beginning another futile search of your possessions. “My stupid, idiot journal that my mother gave me and I have to write in it, _now,_ before I forget!” You try to ignore the sinking sense that it's already too late, that too much has already leaked out.

“You mean you're literate?” Sollux asks, and Aradia gives him a punch in the shoulder. “Ow!”

“Don't be so rude when he's upset,” she says, then turns to you. “I'll go and check by the stream where we found you. Maybe it fell out of your pack.” You start to scramble to your feet, and she holds out her hand. “Not you!”

“Why not?” you ask, wincing as you try to straighten. “It's my journal!”

“You're still injured,” says Jade, opening her eyes. “You should take it easy.”

“Fuck you,” you say, but you don't stop Aradia from jogging off into the darkness. Bec barks and looks at Jade, who nods. The dog trots off after Aradia into the shadows. You watch them go, scowling.

“I take it this diary is important to you?” says the older dwarf woman, sitting up. You hadn't even noticed she was awake, and you eye her warily. She looks back with a faintly chilling expression; she hasn't been too impressed since she took your- Gamzee's pesh, and you swallow.

“Yeah,” you mutter, taking a sudden interest in the weave of your blanket. “My mom taught me to write in it, recording my trance visions,” you add, the words just blurting out of you. “Not that it's important. Just a stupid book.”

You aren't looking at any of them, trying to fight back more tears- didn't you snivel enough yesterday?- so you can only imagine the look on the older dwarf's face when she says; “I think it sounds very important.”

The flickers of grief and regret transmute into raw anger fast when Sollux starts laughing. “A dream diary?” he says, gasping the words out between snickers. “You're keeping a thitty dream diary 'coth your _Mom_ told you to?”

“Fuck you!” you yell, and launch yourself across the fire at the scrawny little freak. You quickly gain the upper hand in the brief bout of rough-and-tumble that ensues, because you are a fearsome battle-hardened warrior and he is a badly-dressed broom handle, but you get a few zaps and small burns from magical discharges before a pair of sunwalker-pale hands get between you and shove you and Sollux apart.

 _Jake,_ you think for a painful second, before reality intervenes.

“What do you two think you're doing?” Jade demands, glaring at you both in turn. “Are you trying to attract every flesh-eating monster down here? Summer's end, it's just a stupid diary!”

“It's _not_ a diary,” you mumble.

“Don't care,” Jade says, smacking the back of your head. “You're both acting like you're five!”

You and Sollux give her a matching pair of dirty looks as Aradia comes jogging back up, Bec beside her.

“I couldn't find your diary,” she tells you, Bec letting out a small whine and rubbing his nose with one paw.

“It's a journal,” you say, as Sollux starts snickering again. “Oh, thut up, _Thollucth!”_

“Well, sorry anyway,” Aradia says, dropping down next to you. A wicked twinkle appears in her eyes. “If it makes you feel any better, Thollucth has a diary too, although that one is an ancient artefact!”

“That'th totally different!” Sollux protests, but you can't join in the laughter because a shock of unclear certainty just earthed itself straight through your spine. Aradia starts when you grab her arm.

“Show me,” you say, heart pounding. The details of your dream have faded but the emotions have come flooding back, and there is something you have to do, something vital...

“Calm down there, lad,” says the older dwarf, Thyri. Her hand falls on your shoulder and you flinch away, then scramble back.

“Diary,” you hiss, crouching. The rest of the group share glances, and you see metal glinting from where Bryn is lounging. Aradia meets your gaze steadily, her face creased in faint confusion.

“Storms and mist,” she mutters. “How do I know you?”

You shake your head, heart almost stopping altogether. Then her face breaks into a broad grin and she turns to Sollux. “Show him,” she says.

“But...” Sollux's voice trails off as the two of them hold a silent staring match, then he huffs and starts rooting through his own pack. “Fine!”

You are almost bowled over by the force of the book hitting your chest, and you land with a thud on your backside, cradling the tome in your arms.

“Are you sure this was a good idea?” you hear Thyri whispering. You ignore the whispered conversation that starts, studying the book in your hands. It's bound in leather, frayed and tattered by the passage of time and hard use, and like yours the pages are supplemented by loose sheets and scrawled fragments of parchment shoved haphazardly into the book.

You open it with shaking fingers and slam it shut almost immediately. It's not written in charcoal- this author preferred ink, and something that you're fairly certain is blood even if you hope it's not- but those symbols- those fragments of words- are all as familiar to you as the feeling of a sickle in your hand or stone under your feet.

They're all still arguing so nobody notices you drop the book and skitter backwards, so focused on the ancient journal that is so completely fucking identical to your own that you don't notice the wall until your head slams into it with a heavy crack.

“Karkat!”

Rough hands cup your face, slim fingers calloused by work and weather pulling on your head. You shriek and try to shove your attacker away, your head spiralling through visions of fire and blood and madness that aren't real, that can't be real, because if they are then you are more fucked than you have any idea how to deal with.

“KARKAT!”

A wiry pair of arms wrap around you and pull you away from the wall; your nose hits leather, and suddenly you understand that you are being held, that someone is holding you and making comforting shoosh noises and rubbing your back just like Sollux was doing for Aradia a few minutes ago.

 _It had better not be that asshole,_ you think, and look up into the glittering green eyes of Jade. They're brighter than her brother's, you realise, and much fiercer. Part of you tries to work out the odds that you would wash up right next to these people; you don't tend to believe in luck, or coincidence, but something or someone powerful would have to be seriously fucking with your life to drag you into the literal embrace of the only people in the Deep Caverns you were actually trying to find.

“I hate my life,” you tell Jade's shoulder. “And it hates me.”

“Grump,” she says, shoving you upright. You shoot Sollux a glare just so he knows to keep his big mouth shut. He responds with the most evil grin you have ever seen on any living being, Terezi included.

“And just what was all that about, young fellow-me-lad?” asks Thyri, folding her arms. You look up at her, then around the semi-circle of faces looking at you with varying degrees of surprise, concern, and revulsion.

Aradia makes the two-fingers-pointing-and-wink gesture that Jake tried to pull a million years ago yesterday. Your lip quirks as you refuse to be charmed in the least by her shenanigans, and your mind kicks into gear, trying to work out how to explain this mess away.

“Um,” you begin, intelligently. Before you can really get into a tangled web of implausible lies, though, Bec's head spins to face the tunnel he and Aradia just checked down, and he barks. You're no expert on dog-things, but from the way everyone immediately pays attention to those shadows you assume this is not a good thing.

“What is it, boy?” asks Jade, pulling a leather sling out of her belt. You almost wince; a sling is a kid's weapon, not a cleric's.

Bec barks again, and nobody objects as you draw your sickles. There's a faint scraping of metal all around as everyone else has the same idea, and Sollux's fingers start to flex.

“Come out of there!” Thyri shouts, and her voice bounces off the walls. Your skin prickles when she is met by a soft chorus of chuckles and- skittering?

“Oh, no,” you whisper, feeling the blood drain from your extremities. “No, fuck, fuck, no!” You start to turn your head, looking all around you, looking up as well as to the sides. It can't be, you're too far out- but then, the whole reason you know that sound at all is that they're not always that good with boundaries. Sometimes, very rarely, they came out of the Caverns and into the far borders of the Shanties. You never saw them- you always ran or hid before they were close enough to see, because after the skittering came the screams, and the Houses and the Temples never sent anyone to stop them.

Bryn notices your reaction and turns to you, looking as pale as you feel. From everything you'd heard and seen of them, you hadn't thought a dwarf could look so frail. “Any chance you might tell us what exactly you think we're up against, here?” she asks you, her voice tight.

Another skittering chittering giggle, and you shiver, holding your sickles up in a useless gesture against the darkness. “Driders,” you whisper. “They're meant to guard Golgesi from the monsters of the Deep Caverns.”

“So they should be friendly, right?” Jade says, squinting into the shadows. “I mean, to you, at least?”

You swallow an hysterical chuckle at the idea of friendly driders. “They're cannibalistic half-elf, half-spider abominations with all the worst instincts of both. They're not allowed near anyone who isn't either a master spellcaster or completely expendable.”

You aren't sure which scares you more; the twin growls that emerge from Jade and Bec, or the laughter that sounds from all around you.

“Got orderss...” hisses a voice, speaking the same high elven that you've been using to communicate. “The priesstessss, the Mother, sshe ssayss and we sshall not eat the dwarvess, the ssorcererss, the ssurfasserss.”

_What?_

A second Drider voice comes out of the dark, beyond the range of your darkvision. Too far away to be a threat yet, but more than close enough to scare the shit out of you. “Sshe ssaid nothing about the little sshouty drow.”

You would definitely feel better about the outbreak of chittering if everyone didn't immediately look at you as well. You raise your sickles and try to work out what you're going to do if they all try to throw you to the Driders as a sacrifice. And to think, you could have been publicly hanged or beaten to death back in Golgesi, rather than being eaten alive by hideous malformed creations of insane alchemy! Your life just keeps on getting better and better!

The corridor plunges into darkness so deep that you cannot see anything, and your heart stops.

“You can't have him!” Jade shouts beside you. “You can't have any of us! Don't think I can't feel you out there, all that unnatural magic!”

“What thee thaid,” Sollux says, the light in his hands not half so eldritch as the look on his face. You feel a stab of surprise and gratitude for his support that you vow to never let him know of, and shift your grip on your weapons.

“I know that ssmell...”

You scream in a manly and brave way, and swipe at the air behind you where the voice sounded. Your sickle hits nothing. There's another chitter running around the cave; you can pick out the occasional words in undercommon and High Elven.

_“...ourss...”_

_“...not for eating...”_

_“...broodblood...”_

The air shifts next to your ear. “Hello, little brother,” whispers a female voice which, if it wasn't so sibilant and psychotically joyful, would have sounded terrifyingly like one whose memory you cling to. Something large and chitinous and covered in wiry hairs brushes your face and shoulder.

You flip the fuck out.

“KK!” yells Sollux, as your sickle swings through empty air and your scream of rage and terror echoes off the rocks. Something about his ridiculous pet name for you feels familiar, but you don't have time to think on it; as he shouts, red and blue lines flash in the darkness, and you hear the sound of rocks cracking.

“THIS WAY!” yells Aradia, practically a scream, and you dive away as the roof comes down over the way you came. The air fills with dust and something heavy and sharp-edged flies into your arm; you grab it as you stumble after the others into a darkness that is blessedly natural and free of chittering. Your fire flickers, lighting the disarray in your little camp.

“Are they gone?” Bryn asks, whirling around. You slump down next to a wall, checking your wrist and wincing when you see a bloody scratch right along the edge of the bracer.

“Bec?” asks Jade. The animal sniffs at the wall of tumbled rock, huffs, and presses his nose into her hand, and she looks relieved. “We're safe.”

“For the moment,” Thyri says, and your respect for her rises a notch. “We need to get moving before those things find another way around. Bryn, Aradia, tidy the camp. Sollux, get that fire out. Jade, darling, I think Karkat is hurt.”

“No, I'm not,” you say quickly, wrapping your hand around the bleeding. “It's nothing. Thollucth here just dropped a fucking rock on it, is all.”

“Tho thorry I kept you from being thpider food,” Sollux snaps, wandering over to the fire and starting to scowl at it. “Netht time I'll jutht let you handle it. It'll be funny to watch you thpin round and thqueal like a girl.”

You glare at him. “Roof-dropping moron- hey!” You glare at Jade, who has grabbed your arm. “Didn't I say I was fine? Don't just go around grabbing people, they might stab you for being a handsy bitch!”

“Shut up,” she says, not exactly rudely but with a brusqueness that is pretty much the same thing. “You were really battered up yesterday; listen to your healer!”

“No!” you yelp, trying to tug back your arm. Your efforts get even more frantic when she starts to unlace the bracer. “What- you don't have to take that off! The cut isn't under there, on account of how it's a goddamn bracer and it protected that part of my fragile squishy flesh from Thollocth's deadly rock attack, thus fulfilling the entire point and purpose of its existence!”

“But this cut is right on the edge,” Jade replies, lodging your arm under one of hers and using both hands to undo the intentionally tangled knot you made in the laces. “I want to make sure there are no splinters or dust under there.”

“GET OFF! GET THE FUCK OFF!” you yell, not caring how hysterical you look trying to tug your arm back. You think you've earned the right to hysterical over the last two days. Last three days, even.

A low growl from your other side brings your thrashing to an abrupt halt; you freeze and stare at Bec, who has brought his face up close to yours. You swallow, and he puts a paw on your chest. No creature should weigh that much and be allowed near people.

“Please?” you try, without much hope.

“It'll just take a minute, you big bab- woah!”

You close your eyes, not wanting to see the look on her face. You know what she's just uncovered.

“Guys!” Jade says, and you can imagine how wide her eyes are right now. “You have to see this!”

You hear the footsteps, and you can practically feel their eyes gawking. Her grip on your arm loosens and you yank it back, turning the mark on your wrist inwards to face your body. Like they haven't all seen already that you're a freak with an evil god's mark on your skin.

“I'm not a fucking cultist,” you venture after a few long, silent moments that felt more like hours. Nobody says anything, so you crack your eyes open. To your surprise, their jaws are still hanging, and you feel a familiar anger building up in you.

“What?” you demand, putting your hands to the wall and pushing yourself to your feet. “Do you want another look? Maybe I should strip and let you just take a good look, would that make you happy? Oh, no, wait, better plan. I can join a travelling freak show! Then everyone can come and gawk at my arm! Let's not give a flying fuck about the fact that you look like a bunch of mindless undead, just standing there with your lower talkflaps resting on the ground!”

“Karkat...” says Jade, starting to unlace her armour, but as weird as that is you don't feel like stopping just now.

“It's a fucking birthmark!” you yell, too angry to even worry about the monsters that might hear you down here. “I didn't ask for it, and it doesn't do anything but make my life suck even more than it would already! And it isn't like it's the weirdest thing down here. You will note how I'm not ogling Thollucth and his freak ancestry or his technicolour eyes, or Jade and her fucking wild dog companion thing or her bizarre striptease, or Aradia's huge horns, or Bryn's weird-ass jars, or the fact that Thyri is actually fucking square...”

“KARKAT!” yells Jade, and you're about to yell _WHAT?_ but then she tugs the collar of her tunic down and there, on the skin under her collarbones, is a Mark. Someone else might need to have seen Jake's mark, or studied the drawings in your book, to know that it's the same thing. You don't need that. You just know.

Aradia giggles and turns her back, pulling down her skirt just far enough to show off another mark just above the cleft of her ass. Sollux flaps and gets her to turn back around, then glares at you.

“I've got one too, for the Mage of Doom, but it'th a pain in the ath to thow,” he says. You stare back at him, into red and blue eyes that seem far too familiar for how long you've known him, and do the only thing that makes sense right now.

You burst out laughing, and keep right on laughing until you fall the fuck over onto your stupid face.

### Suggestions Used

 _1JakoftheMoon1 -_ Dream Karkat: This whole reincarnation deal was such complete bull in hindsight. Smack yourself in the face, it's the least you could do.

 _ttd0000 -_ Aradia: Keep the nightmares away, cuddle up to best pal.

 _Arienna -_ Jade: Commune with Bec.

 _RandomGal -_ Sollux: Watch the wolf. There's something weird about it...

 _Ms Arano -_ Karkat: ... what happened to your notebook?

 _Craft -_ Karkat: Lament lost journal.

 _Craft -_ Jade and Sollux: Persistently refer to karkat's book as a diary.

 _Craft -_ Karkat: Call the twinblood Thollux for a while.

 _Craft -_ Everyone else but sollux: Play along.

 _Craft -_ Aradia: Not hear the diary-journal conflict. Idly mention reading ancient diaries to Karkat and make him suddenly lose his shit.

 _Ms Arano -_ Aradia: no, seriously, where have you met him before?

 _Sandi -_ Aradia: After Karkat freaks out about you mentioning ancient diaries, show him the ancient book you recently found.

 _Sandi -_ Karkat: Freak out about the "familiar" handwriting/symbols.

 _Nikotehfox -_ Karkat: Accidently bang head.

 _1JakoftheMoon1 -_ Jade: Keep cool.

 _AndIMustMask -_ Jade: jade, JADE, stop it! flailing hyperventillating drow is not good for hugging what is wrong with y--oh well that seems to work actually.

 _Fidonia -_ Karkat: wonder at your luck at finding Jake's family. become extremely pessimistic about it.

 _sionnachsSkulk -_ Aradia, somehow pick up the double-pistols  & wink from the dwarves. Be incredibly charming.

 _1JakoftheMoon1 -_ Bec: Continue finding important things.

 _Jack-of-Spades -_ Jade: Learn that someone found a way to combine the finest qualtites of man and beast.... and did the most terrible things with them.

 _Ms Arano -_ Karkat: ... I notice that you were, technically, not included in that spiel about who is off limits, since you're no longer with Terezi. Get in trouble.

 _Spider -_ Driders: Realise that the priestess said nothing about the small shouty Drow

 _Aryashi -_ Karkat: Get attacked by (a) drider(s). React appropriately.

 _nanrea -_ Sollux: Accidentally cause a fortuitous cave in.

 _sionnachsSkulk -_ Karkat: Survive by the skin of your teeth

 _nanrea -_ Karkat: Get injured in some way on your marked arm

 _nanrea -_ Jade or Kanaya: INSIST on getting that bracer off so his arm can be properly treated, thus exposing his secret to everyone, oops.

 _1JakoftheMoon1 -_ Karkat: Flip your shit. Absolutely no one saw this coming.

 _nanrea -_ All: Another round of Godmark revelations is always fun to calm the poor hyperventilating drow down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, and welcome back! I had a productive break from writing this fic- hope y'all didn't miss me too much! :]
> 
> I kinda wanna say more but am hungry so I can't think of anything but food. I'm simple like that.
> 
>  **SYSTEM NOTES FOR THIS CHAPTER (as they are very short):**  
>  Sollux spends 1 Hero Point to accidentally cause a fortuitous cave-in. Sollux has 1/3 Hero Points remaining.  
> Karkat takes 1D3 = 2 damage from falling rocks. Everyone else was well clear. Karkat has 8/15 Hit Points remaining.


	53. ==> John: Be Super Confused And Flustered

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Hero point votes:**  
>  Sollux 2
> 
>  **Current Hero Points:**  
>  John 3/5, Rose 3/5, Dave 2/3, Jade 1/3  
> Karkat 2/5, **Gamzee 3/3,** Terezi 2/5  
>  Sollux 1/3, Aradia 1/3, Kanaya 1/5  
> Jane 2/5, Jake 1/5, Roxy 2/3, **Dirk 3/3**

## ==> John: Be Super Confused And Flustered

Your trance is brought to an abrupt and slightly premature end by a weight on your chest and something fluffy in your nose. You splutter and bat at your face, expecting to push away your sister’s hand, and instead find yourself shoving Frigglish onto the floor. He drops a couple of inches then turns to push his white furry cat-face up against yours. Two inscrutable green eyes blink at you in what you think might be disapproval, then the familiar bats your cheek with a paw and walks away. His tail gets in your mouth and you splutter a bit more before realising that the weight on your chest doesn’t seem to have moved at all. You lift your head to squint down at whatever is lying on you, and see the first rays of morning sunlight glinting off Roxy’s blonde mop of hair.

Like the responsible and worldly grown-up you are, you respond to this with a strangled “urp!” noise, and start trying to work out if you can shove her off without waking her up and whether that is what you actually want to do at all. She’s got you pretty well pinned, to be honest; one of your arms is trapped against your body, and the leg on the same side is so tangled with hers that you don’t think you could work out which one you started with until they’re properly unpicked. It’s like having a really heavy blanket made of person, which now you are aware of it is kind of nice in a totally panic-inducing way.

You risk a glance around the hut, and to your eternal relief everyone else is still sleeping. If Dave finds out about this he won’t ever stop teasing you, and some part of you is vaguely aware that you should be concerned with Roxy’s reputation, or something. You don’t really get why, since she doesn’t seem to care much herself, but you suppose it is her reputation and she can do what she likes with it. Maybe it’s your reputation you’re worried about after all.

Frigglish sees you looking around and gives you another dirty look, which is a bit alarming. You aren’t sure if familiars can do magic or not, but you don’t want a mystical animal to be pissed with you for taking cuddle-advantage of its beloved mistress! You try an experimental wiggle, but Roxy just shifts and mumbles and traps you even more thoroughly. You become aware of a wet patch on your tunic where her head was lying, and grimace. Gross, drool.

Having exhausted all other possibilities short of waking everyone else up, you reach out with your free hand and give Roxy’s shoulder a gentle shake. You only need her conscious enough to get off you, and then you can both swear to never speak of this again.

The noise she makes isn’t so much sleepy as it is miserable, and when your finger brushes against a damp face it hits you like a runaway cart that the wet patch isn’t drool. Turns out, you weren’t at all worried before compared to now; having an alcoholic wizard come and drape herself over you is even worse when she’s been crying in her sleep.

“Roxy!” you hiss, giving her another small shove. “C’mon, wake up!”

You aren’t speaking loud enough for anyone to hear, asleep or not, but your repeated shakes finally get through. Roxy’s head lifts off your chest and she squints at you through eyes that are as red and puffy as the rest of her face.

“Mm?” she hums, then blinks when her hand touches the damp patch on your tunic. “Oh!” She clumsily pats at her face, and you take advantage of the moment to escape from under her and sit up properly. You let her take stock of her state, shifting about on your bedroll and tangling your feet in your blanket until you glance up to see a pair of round pink eyes staring at you.

“So, um, are you okay?” you ask, scratching at the nape of your neck. “I mean, obviously you’re not okay, hehehe, but I guess I’m asking if you want to talk about it or…”

Fingers press into either side of your face and before you can process what’s happening, Roxy has dragged your heads together and is smooching you with some serious gusto. You’re so startled that you can’t react for a few seconds. There’s a heartbeat when you can only hear the part of you that’s convinced that even if it is unexpected and really soggy this kissing thing is loads of fun. On its advice, you start to smooch back, bringing one of your own hands up to brush against Roxy’s shoulder.

When you feel the dampness of tears your brain catches up all at once. It’s like being dunked in cold water.

“Hey!” Roxy protests, surprised when you push her back. She starts to lunge in again and you catch her just in the nick of time.

“We can’t,” you say, not listening to the chorus of angry objections from the back of your mind. Your resolve wavers when Roxy’s eyes flicker down and her face sprouts the most dejected look you’ve ever seen. It makes you want to bundle her up and protect her and do whatever she asks just so she’ll smile again, but you’re smart enough to know that however awful it feels to do this it’s still the right thing.

“You don’t like me,” she says. Frigglish bats his head against her hand and she pets him. Her eyes lift and she gives you a bitter smile. “Guess I was being all kindsa dumb just then, huh?”

“It’s not that,” you tell her, shaking your head because that’s the last thing you want her to think. “I like you just fine, you’re really great and fun and smart!” _And beautiful._ “But I’ve only known you a couple of days, and for most of those you’ve been… well…”

“Drunk,” she finishes for you, in a flat tone.

“Yeah,” you say, tangling your feet further into the blanket. Roxy says nothing, and your mouth starts rambling on, tumbling words out into the void where there should be a conversation happening. "I mean, I kind of want to say that it's just because it's too soon and I don't really know you all that well, but that's not it. I grew up in an inn- well, me and Jane grew up in an inn but that's not really important here because Jane's not even awake right now- and anyway, I know that people don't really think straight when they're drunk and especially not when they're drunk a lot-"

"So you think I'm not thinking straight?" Roxy says, eyes narrowing.

"Nonono," you say hastily, shaking your head and your hands to try and convey the sheer amount of not saying awful things you want to be doing right now. "I mean, yeah, but not that way." You sigh. "I'm worried about you," you tell her, in a calm and measured tone that is suddenly coming easily to you now you've run out of panicked garbling. "The sort of people who came to our inn and drank like you do, they had problems, Roxy. And some of the problems were the drink, which actually you seem pretty good at not having, but even without that I don't think most of them were very happy and the drinking didn't really help anything at all." You see her staring at you blankly, and risk a small smile. "I like you a whole lot, and I want you to be happy, and I can't really be with you like that if you're not."

For a few seconds Roxy doesn't move and you're afraid that you just ruined everything forever, but then a small smile creeps onto her face. You stiffen as she leans over and rests her head on your shoulder, but no crying or kissing ensues and slowly you manage to relax and wrap an arm around her. Frigglish gives an authoritative mew and bats against your free hand; you start to scratch between his ears and he settles down on your other side.

"It's totes stupid," says Roxy, her voice hesitant. Expectant, maybe.

"Um- you can tell me anyway?" you try. She snuggles closer, and Frigglish starts to purr.

"Rose is the Oracle," she says, so quietly that you almost don't hear. "Like, she's the Oracle. Of Light. And everyone looks to her for guidance and salvation and stuff and the thing is, I know it sucks humungously for her, and she ends up stuck with idiots and losers like the High Priest and his Council to deal with, but it's still- she's still- the golden one. I'm not really anything but her sister to everyone else." She sighs heavily. "Which is all mega-dumb, because duh, she's chosen by Light and I'm chosen by Void, so of course everyone pays attention to her. That's how it's meant to be. But it sucks because she’s the centre of everything and I’m- nobody really cares what I do. So I figured, if no-one cares, why not drink?” She shrugs. "It’s one way to not get bored when people don’t want you around, amirite?”

You have a brief flash of memory, you and Jane as wide-eyed kids sitting in bed together while your parents explained exactly why you needed to keep your Godmarks secret. Your whole life you've been hiding so you weren't taken away, but even when you were talking to Rose and making friends with her you thought of her and her sister as symbols rather than people. Hesitantly, you give Roxy's shoulder a squeeze.

"I want you around," you say, wishing you’d thought to see her, _really_ see her, months and months ago. "I mean, you're awesome, and magic, and even if you weren't you're my friend." You smile at her, and she grins back up at you.

"Dork," she says, and shoves you over. You weren't expecting it and you go down like a sack of swedes; you don't have any time to regroup before she pounces on you and starts tickling your ribs. You do your best to stay quiet, you really do, but all that does is make the giggle-pressure build up until it all explodes out of you in a laugh that might be half-wail.

"Roxy!" you gasp, batting at her hands which seem to be everywhere and might even be given how magic she is. "No, stoppit! Ahehehe! Rox-"

"No quarter!" she replies, eyes glittering in triumph. You squawk and struggle some more, failing utterly to stop her from turning you into a breathless, laughing puddle of elf on the floor of the halfling hut.

Just when you think you're likely to break a rib from all the giggling, a blur of pink cloth appears from out of left field and hits Roxy in the head. Her tickling is interrupted when it drapes over her face and you take advantage of the distraction to make your escape in the direction of the thrower.

"Nice save!" you say to your sister, who looks decidedly rumpled after being so rudely janked out of trance. She smirks at you.

"Recognise it?"

You look again at the pink thing Roxy is pulling off her face and recognise your spare tunic. You look down again at the one you are wearing, which is muddy and sweaty and splotched with a drying tear-stain, and then stare in shock at Jane. She folds her arms and looks very, very pleased with herself.

Seeing the two of you, Roxy bursts into laughter and holds out your sadly peachy clothing. "Totes manly, Warden. It'll suit you abso perfect."

Jane squints at her while you reclaim your tunic. "Are you drunk already?" she asks, a hint of disapproval in her tone. Roxy shakes her head.

"Nope!" she says, grinning from ear to ear. "I'm sober as a really stodgy judge and I'm stayin' that way!"

"Indeed?" says a fourth voice, and you jump aside as Rose levers herself up on one elbow. She raises a solitary eyebrow at her sister and you find yourself wondering just how practised a façade she is putting up. “And what has brought on this shocking declaration of abstinence?”

"Because John promised I could do unspeakable things to him if I quit boozing," Roxy says, smirking.

Your mouth falls open to protest, but your hasty _Did not!_ dies on your lips. From the way Jane and Rose are both smirking they already know, and there’s a fragile look in Roxy’s eyes that you don’t want to tread on.

You are totally capable of being sensitive sometimes, which is why you choose to handle your embarrassment by body-tackling Jane and tickling her into submission. You get a few good tickles in before she manages to grab your wrists. It’s not really satisfactory vengeance for your poor tunic, but the two of you have been having tickle wars since you were hatched and it’s been many, many years since they were anything more than the prelude to friendly sibling wrestle death-matches.

Your loud and boisterous antics are more than enough to wake up the other two occupants of the room; the aasimar brothers go from asleep to full alert so fast that you half suspect they were faking to begin with. Unfortunately Dirk manages to sit up just as Jane shoves you off-balance, and you end up toppling over him and landing in his lap.

He looks down at you with hair mussed from sleeping and a mask pressed against his face one-handed, and tilts his head. “Knew you couldn’t resist me for long, handsome.”

With an undignified yelp, you scramble out of his lap. “Sorry!”

“’S cool,” he says, tying his mask on and glancing over at Rose, who has started to prod at the remains of the fire. “We should probably get going soon anyway.”

“Shortly,” Rose agrees, putting a kettle of water on the small burner. It’s a clever device, holding the fire up on sturdy legs that make sure the wooden hut isn’t in danger of burning. “I need some time to process this night’s visions.”

“More death, disaster and destruction?” Dirk asks, rooting through his heaped belongings for a shirt. You take a second look at the one you’re wearing, sniff it, and grimace.

“In part,” says Rose, pulling out the small book she bought yesterday and a pot of ink. “Do excuse me while I get it on record.”

Dirk nods, once, and turns to his brother. He stiffens when he sees Dave running his fingers over the sheath of his magic sword.

“Hey, bro, you want to give that here?”

Dave looks up at him with what you think is probably a glare. “Get your own, man. This is my sweet-ass piece of magical glory.”

“It’s your sweet ass getting kicked if you don’t wise up,” Dirk replies. The room is quiet around him. “What, you think I’m just going to let my bro get up close and personal with some unknown magic weapon that showed up under mysterious circumstances?”

“It wasn’t mysterious!” Jane says, and points at you. “It’s just some of my brother’s tomfoolery. He got Dave to give it to me and somehow made it look like he didn’t as a prank!”

“Did not,” you reply, a little cross that she still doesn’t believe you. You wish you could have pulled off something so impossible.

“I don’t think you’re lying about Dave being the one to give it to you,” says Dirk. “But you said there was something off about him, and we all saw him with us in the cave at the same time. So either Dave was in two places at once, or he was being impersonated by someone. Or something.” He gives the sword a pointed look.

“Tick-tock man!” exclaims Roxy, bouncing on your bedroll. “I totes bet it was the Knight of Time! He chose Dave, after all, and he probly wants to save the kobolds! Janey, you met a God!”

“I did not!” Jane replies, folding her arms. “That is utterly ridiculous. Why would a God come and give me a sword? While disguised as Dave Ghoststep, of all people!?”

“Makes sense to me,” says Dave, still clinging to the weapon in question. “If I was a god who had to choose to be someone, I would absolutely choose to be me. Who wouldn’t want this bod? This raw animal fucking magnetism? I bet they’re all just sitting up there in the heavens looking down on me in jealousy. The Knight is writing about his five minutes faking being me in his special little god’s diary…”

“I agree with Jane,” says Dirk. “The most plausible explanation is that one of the powers possessed by the sword allowed it to choose a wielder and create a temporary messenger form to ensure its own delivery.”

“Stuff can do that?” asks Roxy.

“Yes,” says Dirk, at the same time as Dave says, “Hells, no.” They stare at one another for a few seconds, then Dirk shakes his head.

“It could be cursed, bro,” he says. “I don’t like how attached you’ve gotten to that thing, and I’m getting some serious bad vibes from it.”

“Well, shit,” says Dave, leaning back against the wall. “Silvertongue has some bad vibes; guess there’s no choice. I’ll just drop the coolest damn weapon I ever picked up. Tell you what, maybe you should turn that weird-sight of yours on John. I’m sure you can get some kinda vibe about his pants.”

“Woah, guys!” you say, partly because Dave’s tone is swiftly getting sour but mostly because your pants are sacred ground. “It’s just a sword!” They both turn and give you identical incredulous looks, and you hastily revise your words. “Well, I mean, it’s a cool magic sword that might or might not be cursed or a present from a God or something, but guys? Cool magic sword! I mean come on, even if it does start possessing Dave, it’s not like he can act any weirder, right?”

Everyone stares at you, then Roxy bursts out laughing and claps you on the shoulder. You see a small smile on Jane’s face, and Dave gives you a nod. You keep your eyes on Dirk, who slowly turns his head from you to the sword and back again.

“Fine,” he says abruptly. “Just be careful with that thing.”

“She’s called Caliburn,” says Dave.

“She?” you ask, teasing.

“All swords are chicks, dude.” His eyes drift to the pink shirt you’re holding and he smirks slightly. “At least I’m not wearing Amazon battle-dress.”

You scowl and yank off your dirty tunic. “It’s my tunic and there’s nothing wrong with it!” you tell him, pulling the pink-dyed clothing on before the other has properly fallen off your arm. “It is the manliest thing ever. Anyway, you like red, and that’s basically the same colour!”

“And I sincerely doubt that you would care to face a truly battle-ready Amazon,” Rose adds, tucking away her pen and retrieving the kettle from the fire. She grabs a metal mug and starts preparing a tea for herself. “Now if you are all quite done, I have some information of import to impart.” She looks a little smug at her turn of phrase as she settles back with her steaming drink.

“Was there something new in the visions?” Jane asks. Rose looks thoughtful.

“Not precisely,” she says, and sips her tea. “In addition to recording this night’s dreams, I have jotted down some notes of what I recall from the past few nights, and since leaving Porthaven things have been- interesting.”

“How so?” Dirk settles against a wall, and you almost giggle because he’s unconsciously mirroring Dave.

“I’ve had visitors,” Rose replies calmly.

Dirk’s eyebrows move fractionally upwards and become just visible over his mask. “Who?”

“I am not precisely certain,” Rose says, taking another sip. “But from what I do remember, there was more than one.” She frowns at her journal. “I was inclined to think they were other oracles, but now I see it written down together I am not so certain. Whoever they were, they certainly possessed the power to move through trance visions and dreams, at least to a limited extent.”

“There’s some arcane magic that can do that,” Roxy offers.

Rose nods. “Well, should they visit again I will be ready for them now. The reason I bring them up currently is that one of them gave me some advice, which slipped my mind entirely until last night. This fellow soothsayer informed me that the Lunar Lords may well have information relevant to the threat currently looming over existence.”

“Wait,” you say, frowning as you try to work through it all. “Lunar Lords like the one who made all the lycanthropes here?”

“Indeed,” says Rose, finishing off her mug and setting it down. “I am inclined to believe it, too, as last nights dreams features werebeasts extensively and came with a sense of- welcome, I suppose you would call it.” She rests her hands on her knees. “It is a good thing we had already agreed that I was to be a part of the group travelling into the Far Forest, or we might have to make new arrangements.”

“Hey, if you want more help-“ you begin, but she cuts you off with a wave of her hand.

“You and Dave are the ones most likely to persuade the kobolds to move in time,” she says, eyes steady on you. “I shall have Dirk and Jane for my protection. It will be quite alright.”

Nodding as reply, you still can’t seem to shake the feeling that your carefully-planned group division is oh-so-subtly wrong somehow. The subtle sense of wrongness persists throughout the remainder of breakfast and packing, until the six of you are standing by the moving platform that's going to take you, Dave and Roxy down to the forest below. You've got Adel with you, so that you can convince the kobolds it's not just all talk, and you're ready and raring to go. Kind of.

“You'll take care, right?” you ask Jane for the bajilllionth time. You can sense Dave rolling his eyes behind you. Him and Dirk said goodbye with a nod, but you don't think you can let your sister go wandering off into places unknown but dangerous without some proper sentiment being exchanged.

“You know I will,” says Jane, and throws her arms around you. “You look after yourself too. We still have to meet Jade and Jake, and I for one don't want to tell them you got yourself torn into little itty bitty bits!”

“Same,” you mutter, hugging back and not really caring that you don't look too manly right now. You pull away from your sister still afraid that this will be the last time you ever see her and secure in the knowledge that you've stuck a piece of parchment with “kick me” written on it to her back. She'll figure it out fast, you know, but it would be a disappointment to you both not to take the opportunity. You're going to wait until you're a little way away until you try and work out what she's done to you.

You step onto the platform with the rest of your group, only to be interrupted by Roxy.

“Wait!” she yelps, running off the platform and holding out a double armful of Frigglish to Rose. “You take him,” she says, her words coming out fast and tripping over one another.

Rose's eyes go wide. “Your familiar?”

Roxy nods, and lifts her arms so that Frigglish can just walk off onto Rose's shoulders. “I can't go with you, but he can,” she says. “And that's like, almost as good. So take care of him, okay?”

Rose nods, and tentatively pets the head of the white cat. Frigglish purrs.

“I shall take the very best care of him,” she says. She and Roxy look at one another for a few more seconds, then both sisters turn and walk away. You shuffle back to make room for Roxy on the platform and wave to Jane as the machinery kicks into life and you start to sink out of view.

“Take care!” Jane shouts. “I'll see you soon!”

“Don't do anything I wouldn't do,” Dirk calls.

“Fucking short list,” Dave mutters. You start grinning. Your amusement only grows at the look on Roxy's face when the last thing you hear is Rose saying; “Come along, Jaspers. We have a mission to getting on with.”

### Suggestions Used

 _ttd0000 -_ John: Awaken to discover you are being cuddled by a distressed sleeping Roxy, deal with problem with what passes for subtly for you.

 _unholygrunt –_ John: Be super confused and flustered.

 _ttd0000 -_ John: Explain to Roxy that your relationship(?) can't go anywhere while she's drunk.

 _WhiteTiger1221 -_ Roxy: Enter a rare state of lucidity and realise that perhaps your constant drunkenness may in fact be obstructing your attempts to mack on the Warden.

 _ttd0000 -_ Roxy: After about the fifth such talk, come to terms with the fact that wooing John may require the unthinkable... upwards of half an hour of sobriety. Your liver is rejoicing at the mere thought; Nobody gets completely and constantly sloshed without good reason. What drove you to the wicked brew.

 _Sandi -_ John: After talking with Roxy about the drinking and having a heart to heart about her reasons for it, agree to continue to help her with the problem even if she can't stop completely right now. Maybe agree to postpone a relationship with each other until these matters are dealt with (but continue funny flirting).

 _Aryashi -_ Dave: Be shocked, giddy, confused, awed, a little sick inside, and utterly fail to express any of it. Hide behind deadpan metaphors instead.

 _1JakoftheMoon1 -_ Dirk: Maintain suspicious demeanor around weird magical objects.

 _Ms Arano -_ Dirk: Attempt to confiscate the magic sword.

 _Aryashi -_ Dirk: Grill Jane about how she got that sword.

 _Ms Arano -_ Jane: Defend your story about Dave being the one who gave you the sword to give back to him.

 _J-Rook -_ Jane: outright refuse the possibility the Knight of Time came to you in Dave's form despite what your friends say.

 _1JakoftheMoon1 -_ John: Suspicious? Not when magical doodads are to be had!

 _Aryashi -_ John: Be puzzled because Dave now has an awesome magic sword and nobody seems happy about it!

 _tempestousCoryphee -_ John: Proceed to wear the tampered shirt proudly, just to prove that your manliness cannot be stopped. Also because you don't have any other clothes. Eh. Hopefully you won't need to do any stealth in the future!

 _Ryo Hoshi -_ Rose: Have a chance to write in your new journal and also a cup of tea.

 _Ephemeral_Dreamer -_ Rose: talk about your vision with your fellow companions

 _Balentay -_ Rose: Review dream diary

 _Craft -_ Treetop defence group: Split, with some protecting the the innocents and some confronting whoever started this.

 _J-Rook -_ team porthaven: split the party, instantly learn the error of that decision.

 _Darwin+G'wein -_ Rose: End up with your sister's familiar. Promptly rename him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Urgh, shoulda posted this earlier, but forgot. Now I'm gonna get overnight suggestions! :P Oh well, my own damn fault. I shall manage.
> 
> Daft as it sounds the Homestuck hiatus has left me in a good mood, because now it will be longer until Homestuck ends. Also the fandom makes interesting stuff when bored and waiting and I wanna see what it does this time.


	54. ==> Terezi: Investigate These Suspicious Individuals

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Hero point votes:**  
>  Sollux 2  
> Kanaya 2
> 
>  **Current Hero Points:**  
>  John 3/5, Rose 3/5, Dave 1/3, Jade 1/3  
> Karkat 2/5, Gamzee 1/3, Terezi 1/5  
> Sollux 1/3, Aradia 1/3, Kanaya 1/5  
> Jane 2/5, **Jake 0/5,** Roxy 2/3, **Dirk 3/3**

## ==> Terezi: Investigate These Suspicious Individuals

It’s a good thing you’re used to staying awake for stakeouts or temple rituals, because you didn’t get much sleep. You aren’t naive enough to trust these people even if their cleric- his name is Dyffyd, which you are still pretending you can’t pronounce- did heal you all up and make sure you were fed last night. That left you and Jake sharing watch, because although you might reluctantly trust Gamzee with your life you certainly don’t trust him to notice the end of his own nose. Besides, he just flopped straight down into the bedroll he was given last night; Myoc, the orc, has been staying close to him for reasons you don’t want to consider too deeply in case the conclusion is too disgusting to contemplate.

From the sideways glances and whispered conversations you’ve guessed that these adventurers are hiding something, and although you have your suspicions you also have a plan to test them. You watch Owain, the Tuatha wizard, from over the embers of the campfire and note with some satisfaction that he’s barely managing to keep his eyes open. Not like Lori, who had the watch before him; she would have made a good Temple initiate if she hadn’t been born a sunwalker.

You get to your feet and Owain blinks at you. “Where-“ he begins to ask.

You cut him off before he can finish the thought. “Privy.” You grin at him. “Don’t worry, I’ll be back before you miss me.”

The sleepy mage gives a grunt and you slip off into the darkness, close to cackling. For you, the camp site is well lit and more than visible, but for these sunwalkers? You glance back, see his head drooping, and change course to locate Gwiryn’s bedroll. Flamboyant and talkative he may be, but he’s got the neatest pack of all of them. It’s quick work for you to open it and examine the contents.

Your suspicions are confirmed by a cursory inspection of the first couple of items, a list of names and a map, which is a good thing because you don’t get the opportunity to dig further before your investigations are interrupted by an earsplitting wail from Gamzee.

These adventurers are no slouches; as soon as the noise starts they’re shooting out of their bedrolls, and you barely have time to shove the evidence of your snooping back in Gwiryn’s pack and fake innocence. The subject of your aborted inquiry snaps out of trance and blinks at you before reaching for a weapon. You’d tell him not to bother if you weren’t slightly concerned yourself about what the drug-addled idiot might do.

With one hand wrapped around the hilt of your cane, you stride over to your hysterical companion and slap him hard across the face. He falls silent and looks up at you from his borrowed bedroll with a look so murderous it could be prosecuted. You stare back down at him, letting your disdain show.

“We are in the Deep Caverns,” you tell him, keeping your voice soft in deliberate contrast to his unholy screeching. “In the caves around us are hundreds of thousands of hungry, flesh-eating monsters and creatures of the deep. We already lost one person down here and if I think you’re going to get us killed by acting like a spoiled brat, we’re going to lose another. Understand?”

With a faint frown he studies your face, looking for a punchline that doesn’t exist. When he realizes that his face draws up into a snarl.

“Fuck you, motherfucker,” he growls. “Motherfucking fuck you, fuck you, FUCK YOU!”

The last words are punctuated by a rock thrown in your direction with disturbing accuracy. You dodge aside and go to slap his face again, only to be stopped when someone grabs your wrist. You look around to see Jake standing beside you; his eyes haven’t lost the worn-out look they picked up yesterday.

“Not really sporting of you, to hit a chap while he’s down,” the sunwalker says. “I could have a word with him, if you like.”

You glance back at Gamzee, who is hunched over his own legs and shivering. His eyes are glassy behind the anger and his hair is slick with sweat. He looks sick, but given how he dived for his daily dose of Pesh yesterday you can guess the cause of his illness and you are overcome by a sudden wave of disgust.

“Sure, if you want,” you say, stepping back and letting Jake swoop down to settle next to the Kutsanmis wastrel. Gamzee collapses onto him like a lost child and you turn away because you do not need to see the way his hand is drifting towards Jake’s rear.

Unfortunately, this puts you face-to-chest with a very large, very painted orc. Myoc looks down at you and then over at Gamzee.

“Is he unwell?” he asks, in his heavily-accented High Elven. You've all been using the language to communicate, but as it turns out Myoc is a full orc and only learned the language much later in life, so he has some trouble.

“It's mostly self-inflicted,” you tell him, hearing Jake extract himself with a yelp behind you. Dyffyd, the golden-skinned cleric, looks thoughtful but says nothing.

“Right then, chaps!” says Jake brightly, walking back over. “How about we get ourselves moving, since we're up?”

“Good idea,” says Lori, kneeling down to roll up her bedroll. “We can eat on the move.” She winks at Jake, who blushes a delicious raspberry red. “You can share mine, cutie.”

“I, ah, that is-” Jake stammers, taking a step or two back from her.

“Leave the poor boy alone, Lori,” Dyffyd says, laying a reassuring hand on Jake's shoulder. “He's been through quite enough, being captured by Drow, and he doesn't need your nonsense.”

You'd filled them all in on the basics of your flight last night. You didn't want to tell them too much, but fortunately you didn't have to. They seemed familiar enough with the basic situation- not too surprising, now that you know for sure what they're doing down here.

“It's quite alright, really,” Jake says. “I don't want to cause a bother.”

“Oh, don't worry, I'm the botherer around here,” Lori says, with the most openly lewd grin you've ever seen on another being's face. “And much as it'll wound me not to chase you, I think I can manage as long as I'm not the only one.”

You manage to catch Owain's blush and the snort of laughter Myoc lets escape, but Jake just looks puzzled briefly before smiling back at Lori.

“Well, I'm jolly grateful for that,” he says. “A chap can get a little too much attention sometimes, although I must admit that yours is one of the more tempting offers I've had.”

Lori starts laughing, and you break into a grin. “Mister Treacletop, did I just hear you make a joke of a flirtatious nature?”

Jake plants his hands on his hips. “Now, ma'am, it would hardly be seemly of me to flirt and tell, would it?”

You cackle harder and keep right on laughing until everyone is packed up and moving. Jake and Lori have fallen into a sort of flirtatious bantering match that everyone else is ignoring entirely; you try to ponder what to do with the information you gleaned this morning, but find it hard to focus over the sounds of Gamzee's withdrawal. He's dragging himself along at the back of the group and every time you look back he's glaring at nothing in particular. The feeling of disgust that you ever touched him just keeps getting stronger and stronger; you could have chosen someone worthy. Someone attractive. Someone you don't actively dislike. Jake and Karkat were right there and they both fit the criteria; why did you pick him?

 _Because you like your partners willing, and Jake would have said no,_ your mind thinks, treacherously. _And you can only hope Karkat would have, because if he didn't he would hate you for it._

You could still have chosen no-one, and that would have been an improvement. You can't help a shudder when Dyffyd offers Gamzee a wrapped package of trail rations and Gamzee's response is to lurch off to the side of the tunnel and vomit.

_Oh, yes, he's the perfect lover, alright._

You wrench your thoughts back to contemplating whether or not you should confront your new travelling companions about their mission. On the one hand it would be good to clear the air, but on the other hand you suspect other secrets and you are concerned that they might be somewhat jumpy.

Lost in your thoughts, you nearly miss it when Myoc and Gwiryn- who are leading the group- stop moving.

“Who goes there?” Gwiryn shouts- rather stupidly, to your mind, but what do you know about the Deep Caverns, you only live here. You decide to draw your sword anyway, and around you your companions do likewise.

The reply is a low chuckle, and then someone you had hoped but not really expected to leave far behind you steps out from behind a rock up ahead. Mohan is wearing more practical clothes over his golden paint, but looks none the worse for wear after the other day. When he clicks his fingers a small horde of warriors steps out to flank him. You see with little surprise that their tabards are black; it looks as if the Houses have settled their differences, at least temporarily, to focus on their mutual problems. What a shame that you are one of those.

“How the bloody hell did you find us?” Jake yells, and you can see the adventurers making a note of _that._ You're going to have some explaining to do later if you all get out of this alive and free.

“Magic,” Mohan replies, and his smile is so smug that you can't even disagree with the low growl Gamzee is letting out behind you. “It's something of a family trait, which reminds me. Just in case you were thinking of retreating...”

He makes another gesture, and you hear movement behind you; you turn to see another group of black-clad warriors emerging into the tunnel from a side-passage you had disregarded. In the centre of their band is a young woman in chainmail made from the same glittering mithral as the one Jake is wearing. She has a golden collar around her neck every bit as ornate as the one Mohan wears.

“Hello, My Lord,” she says, smiling at Gamzee with gold-painted eyes that are a perfect match for her father's. Gamzee scowls at her, still shivering, and mutters something that sounds like “fuck you.”

“Won't you come home with us?” the woman asks, taking a step forwards. You make a quick assessment of her clothing, and are anything but reassured. There's a lot of black and red in there, and a sword on her hip. Most worryingly, she has an amulet wrapped around one hand, and you only know of one sort of person who likes to carry pendants in that way.

The end of the chain is fastened to what looks like a real talon, black at the base and deep red at the tip. You've seen similar symbols before, in the temple of the Seer, but only in very, very specific subsects. Ones that border on heresy, and survive only because their patrons tend to get _unpleasant_ when denied worship.

“You know we'll give you whatever your heart desires,” the slave-priestess purrs, coming forward another step. “Come back to your rightful place, so that I can take up mine.”

“And when the fuck did you all get to motherfucking deciding all as that was being rightful, Dilara?” Gamzee asks, his fingernails digging into his arms. “'Cos how I'm being at recalling it, the truth is what all you said as how you wasn't gonna touch me none, until suddenly as how I was finding someone what was all up and to doing your motherfucking job for you!” He laughs unevenly. “This motherfucker weren't all up and being no kinds of good enough for you, bitch, until he took his sorry ass looking in the gutter for people as what turned out all kinds of motherfucking better than you!”

Dilara's eyes narrow and she stops moving forward. She's either not so well trained as her father, or Gamzee's right about just how much she looks down on him, because nobody in the position she's trying to argue for should show such contempt for their master or mistress. “Come on, Gamzee,” she says, her voice no different than before. “You know I was born to serve you. I will give you whatever you desire.”

“What I desire,” Gamzee says, each word more precise than anything you've heard from him yet, “Is a motherfucking heavy object to be smashing your pretty lying mouth all in with.”

Wordlessly, Myoc unhooks a hammer from his belt and holds it out. It's smaller than the hood-headed one he's got ready, but more than large enough to be a terrifying weapon. Gamzee takes it and his face splits into a terrifying grin.

“Thanks, motherfucker,” he says. Myoc nods.

You glance over your shoulder at Mohan, then turn back to his daughter. “I think you have your answer.”

Dilara nods and steps back into the protection of the warriors. “So be it.”

Myoc lets out a blood-curdling howl and charges straight towards Mohan; you just have time to notice Owain chanting and raising hands that glow with arcane power before you are charged yourself by one of the black-clad warriors. You’re ready to dodge the blow but his swing goes wide, and you almost step into Gamzee’s path. It’s a good thing that you don’t; the scream your companion lets out is pure sound and fury and you see his face as he goes past. He doesn’t look sick or tired any more; he hardly looks like an elf at all. Somehow it’s no surprise to you when his run finishes with those skinny arms swinging the warhammer and slamming it into Dilara’s armour hard enough to leave a dent.

 _He’s grinning,_ you realise, moments before the other woman raises the talon amulet wrapped around her wrist and a pulse of something hungry and foul washes over you. The sensation is one you’ve felt before, in the Temple, and you brace yourself against the corrupting tug of her lifeless power. Even with the training you’ve been given, you feel your limbs weaken and you briefly stagger. Jake and Gamzee do likewise, and beside you the warrior who charged you collapses in a boneless, bloodless heap to the floor.

Your pulse pounds in your ears and the smothering veil is pierced by a nearby cry of “BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!” You see Gwiryn racing forwards, a vulpine look on his formerly amicable Aelfen face, and something clicks into place in your mind.

There’s no time to dwell on it now, though, because you’re still in a fight for your life and that blast of dark energy has taken too much out of you. You raise your sword and point it at Dilara, summoning the power of the Seer to your sword arm to help pass Judgement upon her. You’re already moving by the time she turns and you focus yourself. The world hangs in perfect balance as you prepare your strike.

Then for a brief instant, you are somewhere else, facing a winged Tiefling girl in a place of metal and darkness. You hesitate.

The moment passes but your chance is gone: Jake barrels in, hollering something in Dwarvish as he swings the pick into the dent Gamzee left earlier. Dilara staggers back again as the two nearest black-clad warriors gang up to try and bring down Gamzee. He doesn’t even seem to notice the bleeding wounds they leave in him; he’s wearing the same feral grin you saw earlier, and lets out a loud, harsh “HONK!” as he slams the hammer into Dilara again. You feel the air ripple and the world flashes in bright colours and dark shadows, edges thrown into deadly relief by the momentary blink in perception.

Staggered, Dilara raises her amulet again, and another wave of draining energy rushes through you. Your vision fades and you are briefly blind, confined to a sightless world where you can hear your own breath over the clash of metal on metal and Jake’s howl of pain.

You don’t have time to grow concerned before your head clears and the world returns. You see Myoc with his teeth sunk into one of the warriors, lapping up blood, while Lori darts between opponents dealing death in flashes of bright metal. They're doing fine without your help and turn back to Dilara, pressing your attack.

This time Incorruptible strikes true, the silversheen blade slipping through the cracks your allies have left in her armour and sinking deep into fragile flesh. Your eyes meet Dilara's and you see shock and hatred written deep within them; she falls over with a loud clatter of metal. One of the black-clad drow ducks under Jake's clumsy blow and darts in to try and grab his fallen mistress. You slash at him as he passes and he falls to the ground next to her, the two pools of blood mingling on the stone.

There's only one warrior still standing near you, and with another screeching honk and madness crackling in the air Gamzee swings at him. The man crumples around the blow; grey-faced and with blood seeping from his mouth, he starts trying to limp away. You make a swipe at him which he doesn't dodge so much as stumble away from, and you see that he isn't the only one backing away. Mohan is pulling back in the centre of a cluster of troops, casting pained looks in the direction of his daughter.

Your only warning is a growl and you reach out too late; Gamzee slips through your grasp and Jake's, chasing down the limping warrior and hitting him so hard with the hammer that he slams bodily into the stone of the wall. You can actually see the moment the last breath leaves his body, and you race over to try and grab the Kutsanmis scion again. He dances out of your grip right into Jake's; the sunwalker bodily tackles him to the ground and you stand by to kick the bruised, battered, raving lunatic in his head if it looks like he'll break loose. You don't stop the remaining warriors when they dart in and recover Dilara; you watch them and they don't try anything, backing off rapidly with their leader's daughter when the adventurers come strolling up behind you.

“YEAH! YOU BETTER RUN!” Lori yells in High Elven as your enemies scatter into the shadows. “Hah! We showed them!”

“I'd say we did, at that!” Jake agrees, beaming up from where he's still pushing Gamzee's face into the floor. “Gave them a right seeing-to and sent them packing, and no mistake!”

“Sure did,” Dyffyd agrees, as Owain crouches down by the bodies of dead and bleeding drow and starts to go through their pockets. “Anyone need healing?”

You're about to admit that you might benefit from something like that, when Jake speaks up from the ground with a voice tight with strain. “Actually, this fella here is just a tad on the strong side, so if someone was willing to lend a hand...”

“Of course!” Myoc says, bustling forwards. You give him a suspicious look; his face-paint is smudged from the battle, and there is blood around his mouth and soaking his arms. “Give him to me, young warrior!”

Jake scrambles back as the orc reaches down and lifts a screaming, howling Gamzee like he's a rag doll.

“Calm, little one,” Myoc rumbles, resting Gamzee over his shoulder. “Hush, now; your foes are perished, and your friends fear for you.”

You watch in astonishment as Gamzee goes from a honking, biting, clawing mess to a sobbing, drooping, shaking one. The large orc holds him close and Gamzee buries his face in Myoc's shoulder.

“Everyone injured, over this way,” says Dyffyd, retreating from where the fallen are scattered. “Don't want these bastards getting back up.”

You follow him, offering an arm to support Jake when he limps along. He takes it with a bright grin and you spare a brief glance for Gamzee, who looks like hell. Your group shuffles a good way from the dead and dying warriors, then Dyffyd raises his sickle with the handle upwards. There's a chain wrapped around the handle, and on the end of it dangles a pendant with a very familiar symbol cast in silver.

He doesn't say anything, but the power that washes from him and restores everything that Dilara's magic stole tastes of cherries and blood. You take a deep breath of the healing energy and open your eyes to smile at him with your very best Lawkeeper grin.

“Funny. I wouldn't have thought to find worshippers of the Knight of Blood risking their necks to take refugees to the sunlight world.”

You hear the scrape of metal all around you as weapons are brought to bear; Jake raises his pick slightly, but you just chuckle and sheathe your swordcane.

“I'm hardly orthodox myself,” you add.

Dyffyd's eyes narrow and his sickle stays ready. “And just what what would consider orthodox for worshipping the General of the Lost?”

You shrug. “I'm guessing you don't act like the sacrifice cultists I'm used to.” You can't imagine Karkat acting like those dangerous fanatics, at any rate, and in the same way that you are sure the Seer favoured you for a reason you are convinced that the Knight chose him because Karkat somehow reflects what he approves of.

“He's the God of those who don't have anyone else to watch out for them,” says Lori. “Of course we're helping people get to the surface.” She smirks. “He's also the God of conflict and loyalty, so don't think we're going to let you screw any of us over.”

“I was hardly planning to,” you reply, and fold your arms. “Especially since it was someone doing the exact same run who saved the life of a good friend of mine.” You raise an eyebrow at their surprise. “The only reason we might have a problem is if you were planning to be at all unscrupulous in your mission. I would imagine there are those who make a tidy profit on this job by selling their clients into slavery.”

From the way they all glower at you, you know you've hit a sore spot there.

“We would never!” Lori exclaims.

“It would be a disgrace upon all of us to do such a thing!” Gwiryn agrees, and Dyffyd nods.

You turn to look at Owain, who glares fit to burn a hole through you. It makes you miss Karkat a little more. “I might be a bastard, but I'm not that much of one,” he snaps. “No true follower of the Knight would do such a thing!”

“Some might,” Dyffyd says, in gentle correction. “But not those of our sect. When we agree to do a task, we do it properly.” He smiles at you. “It is a point of some pride with us, and one of the reasons we took this job. Better us than someone else.”

You nod in understanding; from their reactions, you believe that what they are saying is truthful enough. Jake, as unsubtle as ever, sees your nod and lets out a relieved sigh.

“Well, that's all that sorted out!” he says, lowering his pick. “Glad you're decent sorts. The religion thing was a bit of a surprise, mind. You don't see all that many Blood worshippers about the place!”

“Oh, on the contrary!” Gwiryn says, smiling brightly in a way that would be less unnerving if he weren't covered in gore from the battle. “The followers of our Knight are more common than you might think; we simply remain quiet about our affiliations where we can, and find places where we can achieve great things without being pilloried for it.”

Owain nods agreement. “It helps that unlike some, we don't leave a wake of destruction wherever we go.”

Myoc chuckles. He's settled against a wall, cradling Gamzee close against him. “Ah, but you are glad for my patron when he comes roaring into battle at your side!” he declares. You look at him again and feel something twist inside you.

“You're a follower of the Bard,” you say quietly. He grins at you in reply, the expression macabre though the blood and facepaint, then looks over in surprise when Gamzee jerks out of his grip and starts to scrabble away.

“Is there a problem, little one?” he asks. Gamzee shakes his head and pushes himself into the wall, wrapping his arms around himself. Everyone stares at him in utter bemusement and you let them for a good thirty seconds while you work out how to explain this without bringing your marks into this. Not only do you not trust them enough for that yet, you really don't want to explain that you had a friend with their God's mark and you lost him.

“He doesn't like the Bard,” you say eventually, immediately drawing their attention. Jake in particular looks confused, and you roll your eyes at him. “It's obvious. He's afraid of his own temperament and he blames the Bard for that, and for everything he's ever done to try and keep himself in check.” You look at Gamzee and see him glaring back at you from behind his hair; you sneer. “Of course, that's just because he's too cowardly and weak to admit he didn't have to do any of it.”

As you expected, Gamzee unfolds and lunges for you. His shaking limbs immediately give out and his leap ends in an undignified crumple; before he can hit the ground, he is caught by Myoc.

“Little one, is this true?” the orc asks. You snort with laughter as he lifts Gamzee up by the armpits to hold him at eye level, but where Gamzee shoots you a glare Myoc doesn't seem to notice at all. “Do you fear what you are? Do you fight it?”

Gamzee spits at him; Jake and three adventurers wince, but you spot that Dyffyd seems utterly unconcerned. He seems fairly level-headed to you, so you decide to trust his judgement and see how this plays out.

Myoc blinks, then sets Gamzee down by the wall and puts his hands on the elf's shoulders, bending down to keep eye contact. “I am sorry,” he says, each word leaving his mouth heavy with care and sorrow. “I knew that you must be untrained, but I did not see what that must mean.”

“Get your motherfucking hands off me!” Gamzee howls, kicking out at Myoc's shin. “I didn't all get to asking for none of this! I don't want nothing what's _his!”_

For the first time you see something dark pass across Myoc's face, and he slaps Gamzee hard enough to make him fall silent. “There are those who would kill for what you have been gifted!” he bellows. “There are those who do, as foolish as it is!”

“Then they can motherfucking have it!” Gamzee wails, and you wince. You knew things were different for him, and for Karkat, but you can't ever imagine trying to give away the favour of the Seer. She is your guardian and your ally, and you dread to think what she might do if you turned your back on her.

At the outburst, Myoc's anger drains away in a rush, and he lets out a weary sigh. “No, they cannot,” he says softly, reaching up to run a hand through the tangled mess of Gamzee's hair. “The ruler of all passions has chosen you as a vessel, and the harder you fight against it, the more fearsome it becomes.”

Gamzee's head raises to give him an incredulous look, which Myoc returns steadily. “Your rage is powerful, little one,” he says. “As is mine. But you do not see me railing after every imagined foe until my strength is spent, and that is because I embrace my gifts for what they are; a part of myself.”

You look over at Dyffyd, who nods; Myoc is telling the truth.

“You can- you can make me safe?” Gamzee asks, hope cracking his voice.

Myoc's laughter rings around the caverns. “No, little one. There is not a force in this world that can fight the fury of the Rage God, even in mortal flesh. But I can teach you to control it, to harness it, to become its master.”

You think of the monster you've seen fighting beside you, and of the spineless addict you've been dragging around. The idea of them learning to live with one another- of them becoming one person, no longer at war with himself- sends a surprisingly pleasant chill up your spine. Whoever that person is, you want to meet him, if only to test your blade against his flesh.

“Are you quite alright?” Jake whispers, leaning over. You nod, eyes fixed on Gamzee, who gives a single determined nod. Myoc claps him on the shoulder and goes fishing through one of his belt pouches, eventually pulling out a small tub.

“Here we go,” mutters Owain. You wonder what that's about, and decide to ask him later. For now you watch as the large orc smears three stripes of purple paint from the pot across Gamzee's face.

“The Bard has chosen you,” Myoc says, his words intoned in a rhythm that suggests ceremony. It's actually a little impressive, delivered in such a deep rumble of a voice. “Through you, he brings his fury to the world. Through you, he seeks his love, his joy, and his vengeance. In exchange he offers you freedom; will you let him break all fetters save those that bind you to him?”

Gamzee is still shaking, and you couldn't say whether it is withdrawal, or the aftermath of his rage, or fear at what he is doing when he says; “I'll motherfucking do it.”

“Then I shall teach you, brother,” says Myoc, and gathers Gamzee up into another embrace. You can't take your eyes off the three lines on his face. Something about them seems hideously familiar, in a way that makes you want to go on the attack, put Gamzee on his knees and begging for mercy while you pass judgement for his wrongs. Although there are some other things you can think to do with him there...

You suddenly realise what you're thinking and banish your imagination with a shudder. Gamzee isn't the only one who needs better control of himself, and as your group gathers itself together and sets out for the last leg of your journey, you promise yourself that you will not be doing any more things that you regret.

### Suggestions Used

 _Sandi -_ Terezi: Investigate these people - who could they possibly be looking for?

 _Arienna -_ Gamzee: Go into withdrawal.

 _BubbleBtch –_ Gamzee: be frantic

 _Arienna -_ Jake: Make new friends! And be hit on by every last one of them.

 _unholygrunt -_ Everyone should fall in love with Jake and he promptly falls in love with a ghost.

 _ttd0000 –_ Everybody that makes sense: Be attracted to [Jake] at first sight. I find that as hilarious a running gag as Roxy trying to get in [John's] pants.

 _LostSock -_ Jake: Start to become numb to the odd curse that is being attractive to all sorts of random strangers. At this point, as long as no one starts groping you, you should be able to just ignore it.

 _Nikotehfox -_ Jake: Be a gentleman, as always

 _1JakoftheMoon1 -_ Jake: continue character development, it seems to be working in your favor so far.

 _Craft -_ At least one Blood God worshipper: Be shown to be a calm, rational and often skeptical individual.

 _mzingalwa -_ Terezi: Find yourself feeling more and more disgusted with yourself by what you did with Gamzee back in the city

 _1JakoftheMoon1 -_ Terezi: debate course of action.

 _Arienna -_ Drow Matrons: Conspire.

 _1JakoftheMoon1 -_ Mohan's daughter: be relevant somehow.

 _1JakoftheMoon1 -_ Mohan: Appear when least expected. Because you're just that damn smooth.

 _Sandi -_ Gamzee: Give in to the rage without Karkat there to calm you down. Be completely and absolutely terrifying.

 _1JakoftheMoon1 -_ Gamzee: Final(?) Flip out to the max.

 _nanrea -_ Gamzee: :o)

 _Craft -_ Everything: Get really close to, but never actually succeed in blinding Terezi

 _UDMonk -_ One of the KoB followers: Scream "Blood for the Blood God!" when charging into battle. Be either epic or hilarious when doing so.

 _AndIMustMask -_ KoB guys: be just a TAD bloodthirsty. just a little. also drinking the blood of your enemies doesn't give you their strength, its more likely to poison you or something.

 _mzingalwa -_ Followers of Knight of Blood: Dont die horribly to random monster encounter before meeting Karkat

 _1JakoftheMoon1 -_ Jake: Give yourself a pat on the back, that was some serious ownage there.

 _nanrea -_ Terezi: Discuss the ins and out of smuggling and other nefarious ventures with new escorts

 _ttd0000 -_ Bloodcult: defend the Knight of Blood's honor.

 _Scedasticity -_ Gamzee: Decide "not flipping your shit" is important enough that it might be a good idea to develop some more backup strategies for doing so. Optional: Actually come up with something.

 _Sandi -_ Gamzee: Deal with the withdrawal and the rage, but don't kill any main characters. Please.

 _ttd0000 -_ Gamzee: Your Rage can be a great asset. Learn to control it.

 _J-Rook -_ Gamzee: get your face painted by a big green motherfucker.

 _Craft -_ Orc: Quote something damn fancy. Stun your comrades.

 _J-Rook -_ Terezi: marvel at just how much more ALFOUL it makes him seem. <3<

[System Notes (Link to Tumblr Post)](http://celynbrum.tumblr.com/post/48531590064/lodad-system-notes-chapter-54)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nothin' to say this week. Hope you enjoyed the chapter!


	55. -- LETTERS HOME --

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Hero point votes:**  
>  Sollux 2  
> Kanaya 2  
> Jake 5  
> JAKE GAINS ONE HERO POINT!  
> Voting now open for the next Hero Point award: one person will get one at the next filler chapter.
> 
>  **Current Hero Points:**  
>  John 3/5, Rose 3/5, Dave 1/3, Jade 1/3  
> Karkat 2/5, Gamzee 1/3, Terezi 1/5  
> Sollux 1/3, Aradia 1/3, Kanaya 1/5  
> Jane 2/5, Jake 1/5, Roxy 2/3, **Dirk 3/3**

[ ](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/hzqyorih4dkvg9m/02%20LODAD%20Letters.png?dl=0)

TRANSCRIPT  
TO: Proprietors  
The Waypoint Inn  
Old Rattlesheath Street  
Outer Ring  
Porthaven

Dear Mom and Dad,

We only sent you our last letter yesterday, but since then something has happened that we thought you needed to know about: we discovered that Dirk and Dave are marked like us! I don't want to say too much in case this letter gets seen, but between them and Jake and Jade and Rose and Roxy we have a full set! They know about us too, but I don't think we're in any danger from that.

you should have seen it, it was really cool! dave looked at these weird cave paintings and started talking in battle poetry, which really impressed all our new friends (we've made loads of new friends, because we're going to save them from something terrible because we're adventurers now).

also they've seen my mark but not jane's, boo! don't worry, though, i won't let this stand for long!

Hoo hoo hoo! I'd love to see you try! But anyway, we just wanted to update you and let you know we're doing alright, even though we'll probably be long gone by the time you get this.

Love from,  
Jane and John xxx

ps: i totally got her! hehehe!

PPS: He is going to pay for it, never fear. Hoo hoo hoo!

 

TO: John and Jane Warden  
C/O Tradesmistress Indore

Kids,

It's good to hear from you again, even so soon after the last letter. Halfling who delivered it seemed like a nice enough sort, if a bit quiet- one of your new friends?

Did you get our reply? I bloody well hope so; you'd better not be risking your necks any more than you have to our there or there'll be hell to pay! Your mother and I have news, too. Yesterday a hawk came flying in here, bold as you please, and dropped us a message from Guardian Wolfsister. She says Jake's gone and got himself in trouble and Jade's gone off looking for him, so it looks like you aren't the only ones getting yourselves caught up in this adventuring business! We'll still pass on your message if they turn up, which I'm hoping they do because I'm a selfish old bastard who wants to give his estranged kids a big bear-hug. All four of them.

Mom here. Your father is of course missing you terribly, as am I. But you kids need to watch yourselves! Things have been hectic here for the last couple of days with the disappearance of the Oracle. They couldn't hide it, of course, but the word from the Temple is that she has been abducted! There's a fifty gold piece reward for information and a five thousand gold piece reward for bringing her back safe, so I want you kids to be careful. I've caught looks from some of our patrons, and it sounds like you have quite enough to worry about without being targeted by other parties.

Talk about a nightmare, eh? Still, the folks we've talked to say they don't plan on selling you out, and I believe them. Everyone else can be as suspicious as they like. The rumours around here are crazy- some people are saying it's orc raiders, others say pirates, some claim Skyrock or Whitecliff or one of the other cities kidnapped the Oracle. There's even a good number saying the Phooka are to blame, which is nonsense of course (don't tell those bloody aasimar brothers I said that). I'm glad I know what's going on because I'd go downright loopy otherwise!

So that's about it; keep your heads down, disguises on, and keep writing so we know you're not dead in a ditch somewhere.

Love and the best of luck,  
Dad and Mom  
(X X X)

PS: Do try to play nicely together, dears. And if perchance any of your companions are accomplished enough in the arcane arts, might I remind you both that the prestidigitation cantrip can cause any number of mysterious smells, embarrassing colour changes, and unexpected flavours in food?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Credit to [ these brilliant people](http://homestuckresources.tumblr.com/post/36105991110/weve-uploaded-the-fonts-individually-so-you-can) for the John font. I'll be using theirs for any Jade, Jake, Rose and Dirk writing I do in future too.
> 
> I HAVE NO IDEA WHY THE PICTURE IS SO SMALL THOUGH. Seriously, the image I created is the same width as the last letter image, and that one works fine. If anyone knows how to fix this, please let me know!
> 
> EDIT: Well, the picture is now larger, but fuzzy because it got shrunk while uploading to the internet. I think this is the best fix that I'm gonna get, at least for a while- ah well. Hooray for the transcript!


	56. ==> Kanaya: Find Something Mysterious And Interesting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Hero point votes:**  
>  NO VOTES YET!
> 
>  **Current Hero Points:**  
>  John 3/5, Rose 3/5, Dave 1/3, Jade 1/3  
> Karkat 2/5, Gamzee 1/3, Terezi 1/5  
> Sollux 1/3, Aradia 1/3, Kanaya 1/5  
> Jane 2/5, Jake 1/5, Roxy 2/3, **Dirk 3/3**

## ==> Kanaya: Find Something Mysterious And Interesting

Watching your new comrades clean their guns is an educational experience. Even before you left Golgesi, you knew that the dwarves of the Dragonshard mountains were not the savages that political rhetoric maintained, but it was not until you were living amongst the sunwalkers that you began to understand the nature of their artifice. The culture and history of your people is steeped in magic and prayer; even the alchemy for which the city of your birth is famed draws on the ancient mysteries of arcane power. The wonders created by the dwarves are not inherently magical, and that to you seems the most wondrous thing of all.

This, though, is the first opportunity you have had to study such devices closely, and you cannot help but be wide-eyed at such clear evidence that they are indeed devices, that every aspect of their working is powered by craftsmanship and genius. There is a beauty to it all its own, and you watch in fascination as Lars’ thick, seemingly clumsy fingers reassemble the delicate innards of his weapon with deft grace. It's longer than the one Gunnar is slipping back into its- sheath?

“You know, if you want one I’m sure Thyri would be happy to take a commission from you,” says the older dwarf, watching your interest with amusement. “She doesn’t usually put ‘em together for outsiders, but seeing as how you’re helping us find our boy I think we could make an exception.”

It takes you a few tries to find your voice and answer. “Thank you for the kind offer,” you say. “But I have never really trained with ranged weaponry, and to my knowledge my Lady does not favour these weapons.” You don’t think any god does, although surely there must have been times before each of the favourite weapons of the Divines were created.

Lars looks up at you as the last piece of his weapon snaps into place. “I keep forgetting that you’re a priestess,” he says, and his voice is wavering just a little. You can’t help but feel slightly offended, but you ignore it, laying a hand over his.

“I quite understand,” you say, because you do. When you first came to the surface, it shook you deeply to find the people around you bowing to gods you had been taught were unworthy. “In my experience, it is best to set your judgement to the worshipper, not to the Temple they attend.”

You are talking to Lars, and he nods in understanding, but it’s Vidar who pushes himself away from the wall of the cave where he’s been waiting and walks closer. “So what’s she like then, your Goddess?” the young dwarf asks, chin tilted in challenge. “Those Drider things certainly seemed to take a shine to you, which was handy but damned creepy for all that!”

“Vidar,” Gunnar begins, but you cut off his warning with a raised hand. You contemplate your reply as you get to your feet and walk over to Vidar; he must weigh three times as much as you, but his head is barely level with your collarbone.

“She is a protector,” you say eventually, running your fingers across the place where your armour and clothes hide her mark. “The mother of all, who birthed us from the darkest earth and who guards us still. She is fierce and ruthless and full of faith that we will not disappoint her.” You break off, suddenly aware of the fierce emotion in your words. For too long now you have been surrounded by those who only tolerate your patron so long as you are silent; for too long, you have pretended shame when what you felt was pride.

For all the petty power-mongers and treacherous vipers in her Temple, you love what your Goddess is meant to stand for with everything in your heart.

“She sounds a bit of alright,” says Lars, after a while.

“That she does, lad,” Gunnar agrees. The old dwarf gets to his feet and ambles over, patting a stunned Vidar on the back as he passes. You blink in surprise at him when he reaches up and rests both of his gnarled hands on your shoulders. “You keep that faith, young lady,” he tells you. “No matter what anyone says to you, you hold onto your Goddess, because you’re a damned fine woman, a priestess the equal of any I’ve adventured with, and I’ve yet to meet the cleric who isn’t founded on a soul of fire and faith.”

“I… thank you?” You aren’t certain what to say to the old dwarf’s outburst, so you wrap your hands over his until he nods and lets go of your shoulders.

“Alright, my boys, up and at ‘em!” he declares, grabbing his own bundle of equipment from the floor. “The sooner we get moving, the sooner we find the girls and that Sollux chap.”

You grab your own pack and swing it back on, the familiar weight settling onto your back and shoulders like an old friend. The short break has reinvigorated you, and you set a brisk pace alongside Gunnar while his sons hold a brief but noticeable squabble over who will be carrying their gear and who will be watching the rear for danger.

Remembering a thought you had earlier, you turn to Gunnar and ask; “What manner of things can you achieve with your devices?”

He looks back at you in puzzlement, a pair of dark glinting eyes behind a mass of hair. “Sorry, old girl, but you’re going to have to be a mite more specific than that.”

“I was simply wondering what other applications you had found for the innovations in these gun devices,” you say. “And whether there were other, comparable creations of artifice in common use amongst the Clans.”

“Ah, I see.” Gunnar tugs on his beard. “Well, we’ve made some progress in mining using the same alchemical powders, and since the developments in metal tubing there’s been work started on a water piping system from one of the big underground lakes.” He beams at you. “In ten years time, every house in our Clanhold will be able to turn a valve and get clean water! Jolly exciting, eh?”

You briefly imagine the impact such a system would have on Porthaven. “Assuredly so.”

Gunnar thinks for a minute or two. “I did also hear word about some inventor in the Redrock Clanhold coming up with some way to move things with water.”

“Like a waterwheel?”

Gunnar shakes his head. “If I understand the wife correctly, more like a reverse pump? They’re calling it hide-rollicking or some such nonsense. Supposed to be able to push bloody tons of metal if they get it right, though.”

“That certainly sounds impressive,” you say, trying and failing to picture it in your head.

“It’s all a bit beyond me,” Gunnar admits, lowering his voice. “I’m just a simple old adventurer at heart.”

You hear both his sons suppressing laughter behind you, and turn to fix them both with a blank stare. Lars falls silent and flushes, but Vidar keeps on grinning away.

“So why are you so curious about all this business, then?” he asks. You shrug, turning back to watch where you are going.

“I have never seen so much done with so little magic, and I was intrigued,” you tell him. Then you glance sideways at Gunnar. “And I was curious as to whether the principles that created your guns could be applied to the weapon my Goddess does favour.”

“Knew it!” Vidar says, puffing his chest out in triumph. Lars looks to his father, who has suddenly gained a thoughtful gleam in his eye.

“Let’s see it, girl,” Gunnar says, waving a hand at the sheath that crosses your back. You stop and with the ease of long practise draw your sabre, taking the time to ensure you have control of the weighty weapon. All three dwarves stare at it in what you hope is admiration.

“Bloody hell,” says Vidar. Lars nods agreement.

“May I?” Gunnar asks, holding out his hands. You nod and pass him the weapon; he studies it with a professional eye, and you see approval in his regard. “This, my boys, is a sawtooth sabre, and chances are you won’t see another person with one of these for a good long time. I suppose the clerics of your temple don’t come raiding the Clans all that often?”

You shake your head. “No. Only the priestesses of the Seer have reason to range so far from the city, in pursuit of fugitives. A Sylphite who leaves would do so in a travel caravan, or else only go far enough to see to the Driders.”

“Hmm, thought as much.” Gunnar hefts your blade, taking in the jagged teeth that line the edge. “The important thing with a weapon like this, lads, is to not get hit with it. If one of those buggers breaks off- and they can- then it’s worse than a bloody bullet in the wound. At least bullets aren’t sharp-edged and covered in other people’s innards.”

“The idea is for the teeth to remain attached,” you say, slightly peeved. You know your weapon is battered, but it’s not been a simple matter to keep it in good repair, let alone replace it.

“Well, you’ve got a few notches in this one,” Gunnar says, passing your sabre back. “Tell you what; I don’t know about any devices or suchlike, but I can certainly make sure you get the best bloody sawtooth sabre the Quartzkin Clanhold has to offer.”

You sheathe the blade. “My thanks again.”

“My pleasure,” says Gunnar, and that it seems is an end to the matter. You walk in companionable silence for a while, until you turn a corner through an arch of rock and gasp.

Before you is a drop of such dizzying depth that if your hands were not planted firmly on the wall of the chasm you fear you might simply topple into it and fall forever. You can tell this because of the lights, small glittering fragments of crystal, that are dotted into the walls at irregular intervals; looking down into the vast circular pit is akin to looking up into a sky filled with stars. The most distant lights wink at you from further than you could ever hope to reach and yet you still see nothing but blackness beneath them; looking up, you see that the hole extends up over your head in the same endless expanse, and your stomach flips over.

“Smith’s balls,” mutters Gunnar, looking as ashen-faced as his sons as the three of them huddle on the ledge alongside you. “Sorry, folks, looks like I got a tad lost and took a wrong turn somewhere back there.”

Vidar groans, and Lars takes a step back and hefts his pack. “Alright, then,” he says with a cheer that is far too forced. “How far back do we have to go?”

“I don't know,” says Gunnar, his voice low. You all take a moment to contemplate just how lost you are.

“Perhaps there is another option,” you say. All three dwarves look at you in surprise, but your attention is on the pit.

“I know this place,” you say softly, breaking away from the wall and taking a step closer to the edge. “Millennia ago, Golgesi was a mining outpost- barely more than a camp for the miners, who had found something precious deep within the heart of the mountain. Stone rich in gems and metals, over a convergence of ley-lines.”

“A mine for magic,” Gunnar whispers, and you nod.

“The wealth and power of Golgesi grew from the trade of mage-wrought minerals,” you say, continuing your story with your eyes on the depths. “Our great Houses grew from those first miners, as they turned away from digging and towards power. For centuries we were the beating heart and the living soul of drow the world over.”

“What happened?” asks Lars. “Did the mine run dry?”

“No.” Is there something moving down there? You hope that your eyes are playing tricks on you, but you cannot afford to make that assumption; you step back from the edge and wrap one hand around the holy symbol at your throat. “The Deep Caverns are full of darkness, and as more and more stone was cut away the power in the mine began to act as a beacon, drawing the shadows close. Danger became common, expected even; free miners were replaced with slaves and slaves with golems but nothing stopped the evils of the deep world from closing in. Golgesi birthed defences that kept the city safe enough, but even such horrors as the Driders could not protect the mine.”

“It was abandoned?” asks Lars.

You shake your head. “It was overtaken.”

The stone around you rumbles; all four of you grab for the nearest thing, and you find yourself clinging to Vidar as he presses himself against the rock face.

“What the blazes is down there?” Gunnar asks, pale and slumped against the wall.

“I don’t know,” you reply. “But whatever it is, the stories are agreed that they are in slumber. Mining once again would wake them, but since all we wish to do is cross the chasm…”

“You can’t be bloody serious!” Vidar yells.

 _Serious-erious-erious…_ The echoes bounce off the walls and fade into nothingness. You wait until the last traces are gone, then turn to Gunnar.

“I have seen the edges of this mine once before. I believe it should be possible for us to find a route to the place I arranged to meet my old friend Terezi; we should be able to return to find the rest of our comrades from there.”

“Is it safe?” asks Lars, eyeing the pit from his place pressed against the wall.

“Bugger safe, how are we meant to cross _that?”_ Vidar asks, taking a half-step closer to the brink then pulling back. “In case you hadn't noticed, we can't bloody fly!”

“Good points, both,” says Gunnar, looking to you. You shrug.

“If we truly are lost, then we could wander these caverns until we perish. I cannot guarantee that this way is safe, but I can promise that it is passable, and that I can take us to a place I know.”

“Hammer and anvil,” the old dwarf says, eyes fixed on the glittering depths. “Very well: I don't see as we have much choice. How do we do this?”

You can admit to yourself that as dangerous and unnerving as the chasm is, you were rather looking forward to this moment. Swallowing your fears over the shadows below, you take a step closer to the edge and raise your hand.

“I call the chariot!” you shout in High Elven. Your voice echoes off the walls and dies away. You can feel Gunnar and Vidar coming up to stand just behind you, and you feel your heart sink a little as Vidar studies the depths.

“Don't think that did anything, old girl,” he says. You falter for a bare moment before your mouth tightens into a firm line. If it didn't work the first time, you will just have to try again; you take a deep breath to call the summons, but before you can open your mouth Gunnar raises a hand and points past you to something in the depths.

“Look!”

There is a light darting in the depths, a glow that zooms across the pit and vanishes before appearing again from another angle. On each pass it gets brighter, draws closer, and you take a hasty pace back from the brink.

“This mine was active for centuries,” you say, eyes watching for the moving spark of light. “Moving the minerals and workers by mundane means soon became inefficient, and there was a fortune in magic on hand.”

“What is that thing?” Lars asks, actually letting go of the wall to step closer to the rest of your group. “You called it a chariot?”

“And it is, in a manner of speaking,” you reply, as light flashes on the opposite side of the chasm and a brilliant ball of radiance hurtles towards you. Lars and Vidar both flinch back and you cannot avoid a blink, but you notice that Gunnar does not twitch at all as the magical energy spins to a halt in the air in front of you. It shines white, almost bright enough to blind, and rays of ghostly energy brush against each of you.

“Close your eyes!” Gunnar shouts, and there is such urgency in his voice that you obey without thinking. Something flashes in front of your eyes and then the light dies down; you open your eyes again and smile at the sight. Hovering in the air where the radiant sphere had been hanging is a small cart seemingly made of sparkling glass, outfitted with benches large enough to seat four.

“Great forge,” Gunnar whispers, eyes gleaming with more than the reflected light of the magical cart. “This is some dashed beautiful spellwork.”

“The chariots were designed to take whatever form was needed to carry whatever needed carrying to wherever in the mine it was sent,” you tell your companions, reaching out to run your fingers across the side of the cart. It feel solid enough, smooth and cool, but glittering rainbow sparks trail after your fingers across the transparent surface. “We are fortunate that they are still functional.”

“Wait,” says Lars, looking if anything more pale than before. “Are you saying you've never used one of these bally things before?”

“There is a first time for everything,” you say, gripping the edges of the cart and pushing it down slightly. It moves easily and you take a deep breath, gathering up your courage and praying that you are not about to tumble to an ignominious death.

You hear a couple of gasps from your companions as you step down into the cart, but to your eternal relief it supports you. You try not to look down through the floor of the thing as you settle onto one of the benches; the cart sways with the unbalanced weight slightly before righting itself.

“It seems safe,” you say. Gunnar is the first to recover.

“Well, then,” he says, clapping one hand to the back of each of his sons. “Suppose that's that, then!”

The cart swings alarmingly despite his care when he steps into it; you grab for the sides, but it doesn't tip. You cannot fathom the magic involved in this thing; you are a priestess, not an arcanist. Gunnar settles in opposite you and Vidar follows him, brow furrowed in concentration. The younger dwarf studies the open air under his feet without any visible signs of concern; his brother eyes the three of you and the cart with more apprehension.

“Perhaps I could just wait here? Or try to find a way back through the caverns?” Lars asks.

“Get in the bloody cart, boy,” says Gunnar. Lars swallows and shuffles closer, then suddenly surges forward. You all grab for him and three pairs of hands keep him from overshooting and tumbling right over the edge into the darkness.

There is a long moment while all of you just breath, then Lars manages to shuffle himself onto the seat next to you.

“I don't like heights,” he says, cheeks burning. You pat him on the shoulder.

“It'll be alright, lad,” says Gunnar, reaching out to squeeze his older son's hand before looking to you. “So, how does this thing work, then?”

Your brow furrows as you try to recollect ancient lessons. “I believe I merely need to state our destination, which would be the city-side unloading dock...”

The only warning is a line of light that shoots out from the base of the cart across the darkness, and then your words end in an undignified squeak as your chariot chases after it. The suddenness of the motion throws you against the side and you are nearly crushed by Lars slamming into you; in seconds you have chased the racing arrow of light across the chasm and are hurtling into a tunnel of rock.

“What in the blue blazes is happening!?” Gunnar shouts over the air rushing past your ears.

“The magic is linked to the ley-lines!” you shout back. “We have to follow them to our destination!”

“Why is it so sodding fast?” yells Lars; his knuckles are bloodless from the grip he has on the sides and his face looks more than slightly green.

“Who cares!?” Vidar shouts back, leaning into the curve as you hurtle round a corner and shoot back out over the bottomless chasm. He is grinning like a child who has just been gifted a new toy. “This is bloody brilliant!”

You are slightly more inclined to agree with Lars on the matter, but your breath is snatched from you as your cart dives into another tunnel and whips you around a corner.

“I think the magic may have degraded slightly,” you yell.

“Could be!” Gunnar shouts back. The old dwarf is looking with interest at everything that passes, his eyes studying the sparkles of light that are shooting through your cart.

“I knew this wasn't bloody safe!” wails Lars as you hurtle over the chasm once again. You try not to contemplate what will happen to you if your transport were to suddenly disappear.

“It shouldn't be too far!” you shout, trying to reassure him, but your words are lost under Vidar's whoop.

“Look at that!”

You look. You wish you hadn't. Lars isn't the only one who screams when your line of light whips over a lake of burning, roiling magma, dragging you after it. The glow from the molten rock gives the clearest possible view of your situation as you fly over the bubbling pool of scorching death.

You breathe a sigh of relief when you shoot back into the cool darkness of the chasm, but you have relaxed too soon. Halfway across the chasm, you see the shadows shift, and the dart of light that leads you flickers out and dies.

“Oh, shit,” says Lars as you stall in midair, and then the four of you are plummeting. You try to grip the sides of the cart and feel your fingers push into the formerly solid magic. For several dazed seconds you muse on your responsibility for your collective impeding demise while two dwarves scream around you and Gunnar silently closes his eyes. All around you is darkness, and you could swear that you hear something laughing in your ear.

You remember the moving shadows before you began to fall, and a sudden suspicion strikes you. Your head spins as you fall, trying to catch another glimpse. The shadows flicker and swirl in front of you, and words escape you. Instead, you hiss at the mocking nightmares. You would like to say that the hiss is powerful, filled with ancient magic, but it is more like the defiance of a kitten. You do not expect it to achieve anything.

To your astonishment, the swirling shadows retreat and in a burst of power the cart sparks back into life. The arrow of light reappears, and your fall is arrested by a sudden sideways lurch that drags you back into the tunnels as if nothing had gone amiss.

“Changed my mind!” Vidar shouts; the rest of you stare weakly at one another and you resolve to never, ever trust your life to ancient magic again.

Fortunately, it seems that your journey is coming to an end; rather than spinning back out to the chasm, your cart runs deeper into the tunnels and starts to slow down. When it eventually glides to a halt by a carven stone dock, you are right behind Lars as he dives out onto solid ground.

“Never again,” the young dwarf moans, lying flat on his face. You wobble over to a wall and sink against it, not sparing a glance for the ancient carvings all around. You've seen them before anyway.

Gunnar is the last out, and as soon as he sets foot on solid ground the cart turns back into a ball of light and shoots off down a tunnel. The last few shadows die away, leaving the four of you sitting safe and alive in the place where you arranged to meet Terezi- what feels like months ago, now. You stare at Gunnar, and he stares back, and then suddenly you're both laughing and so are Vidar and Lars. The two brothers lean on one another and you double over, letting it all come out until your legs feel weak and your arms are limp.

You survived, and it feels fantastic.

Slowly you come back to yourself, and it occurs to you that you feel thirsty. You have water with you, but it will be warm and stale by now; you can hear something flowing, and you seem to recall a cool stream close by.

“Does anyone require their waterskin filling?” you ask, and three leather skins are tossed your way. You return Gunnar's smile with one of your own, and set off to find the underground river.

As it turns out, your memory was good, and you don't have to go far. You crouch down by the water and catch it up with your hands; the first scoop goes to your mouth, the second to wash your face. It's on the third scoop that something bumps into your hand.

It doesn't feel like a rock, or a living thing; curious, you pull it out of the water, and find yourself holding a sodden book that was most likely in poor repair to begin with. You study it, a stained and ragged cover wrapped around tattered pages. Half of them are not even properly attached, and they are all covered in black smudges, a sure sign that whatever was written here did not survive the water.

That, at least, is something you can rectify. You take a deep breath and whisper a prayer to your Goddess, a few simple words that call to the power she has granted you. Jade-tinted light flickers over the sodden, tattered book that lies open in your hands and before your eyes the smudges shrink and condense into shapes and letters. Water seeps out of the parchment and tears close up in the wake of green fire, until the last vestiges of the prayer's power fade and you are looking at a battered and abused but _readable_ tome. You think there might still be some pages missing, but such magic does have its limits, and you cannot do much with that which is not there to begin with.

You look over the book, and feel a chill run through you when you realise that you have seen markings like these before. The book that you and your companions found in the buried temple, mere days ago, was filled with the same images, the same fragments of tongues you do not speak, the same chaotic writing. The only difference is that in this book, the main body of the writing is in Undercommon, and you can read it.

You flick through the pages until you find the symbol of your Goddess, and devour the words scrawled around it.

_GREEN, JADE GREEN. FUCKED IF I KNOW A NAME THOUGH. SOMEONE I CARE ABOUT OR SOMEONE WHO CARES ABOUT ME? HIM? FEELS LIKE MOTHER, WANTS TO LOOK AFTER ME. I DON'T NEED LOOKING AFTER._

_SOMETHING ABOUT ME BEING A FUCKASS. PASSWORDS? SOME STUPID SHIT. GO HATEMARRY MYSELF. SAME SYMBOL (SYLPH), SAME COLOUR, BUT THIS TIME I WANT TO SHAKE HER. STUPID FLIGHTY CRYBABY._

_SHE'S DEAD SHE'S DEAD FUCK FUCK I SAW HER DIE OH GODS I DON'T WANT HER TO BE DEAD_

_SHE'LL LIKE ME BUT SHE DOESN'T, SHE'S FUCKING TERRIFYING, WHY DOES SHE HAVE DOG EARS, FUCK WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE FOREVER ALWAYS KNEW THIS WOULD FAIL_

_THIS IS COMPLETELY STUPID. WHY DOES SHE KEEP CHANGING? VAMPIRE THIS TIME, DOESN'T HATE ME, HATES SOMEONE ELSE. SOMEONE I WANT TO STAY SAFE EXCEPT FUCK HIM, FUCK HIM SO HARD FOR WHAT HE DID. TO THEM. TO ME (HIM?)._

_MAYBE I SHOULD LET HER_

_NOT A CHANCE NUMBNUBS_

The writer clearly ran out of space on the page at that point; you wonder what exactly they were recording. Based on your knowledge of the Sylph, you suspect that not all of these notes are regarding your own patron, but it is plain that whoever wrote this was not familiar with the Witch of Space. Entirely reasonable, since the language of Golgesi is clearly their native tongue. You start to flip through the pages in search of a continuation- some of the pages are clearly gathered summaries, whereas others at a glance appear to be prose of some form- but before you find what you seek you are interrupted by the soft _click_ of a crossbow being armed behind you.

Slowly you turn your head, setting the book down on the bank of the stream and keeping your movements as steady as you can. You find yourself looking straight into the wavering tip of a crossbow bolt; the weapon is in the hands of a thin, ragged-looking man. Clustered behind him are five others; three are adults, two men and a woman, all looking tired and wearing clothes that have seen better days. The other two are holding hands; an older boy, in his middle adolescence, clutching the hand of a smaller girl who tries to hide behind him. All of them are drow.

There are odd, burn-like scars ringing the wrists and throat of the man with the crossbow, and you don't miss the marks and scars that the others bear. You also don't miss the assortment of weapons they hold; pikes and rusted swords, but lethal enough as outnumbered and unprepared as you are.

Knowing that the first time you came to this place, it was to escape Golgesi, you think that you should really have seen this coming.

“I mean you no harm,” you say, raising your hands to show that you are unarmed.

The eyes of the man in front flicker to the symbol wrapped around your wrist and his grip on the crossbow shifts. “We're not going back,” he says, voice wavering more with fear than uncertainty. “Tell us where they are!”

For a moment you think of your dwarven allies, but that is foolish. He's asking about the rest of your squad, the warriors from your Temple. The people he believes have come with you to drag them all back to the place they are desperately trying to flee. At this point it seems unlikely that the truth will be believed.

You swallow, and wonder how you are going to get out of this without bloodshed.

### Suggestions Used

 _TiresiasGuidance -_ Kanaya: Ask after the dwarfs marvellous technological advancements. Specifically for anything which would give you a CUTTING EDGE in close combat.

 _J-Rook -_ Denizens: lurk below. ( I mean Yaldabaoth and the rest are probably somewhere in the Deep Caverns if you go deep enough.)

 _edenfalling -_ One of the groups currently underground: Encounter a railway. Runaway carts and broken bridges are a plus. :-)

 _1JakoftheMoon1 -_ Slayer's Shadow: Test and menace these "heroes".

 _J-Rook -_ Kanaya: Attempt to scare something away by Hissing at it. Optional: Be overwhelmingly successful in this endeavor.

 _Deshah -_ Kanaya's Group: Find underground river. There is a mysterious journal on the bank...

 _Sandi -_ Someone: Find Karkat’s journal.

 _J-Rook -_ Karkat's Journal: Be found by someone Karkat doesn't known, but who will understand the relevance of the information in you.

 _Lucid Dreamer -_ Karkat's Journal: Somehow mysteriously be okay and not fucked up and destroyed by the tumble in the river. Confuse everyone by being perfectly fine, dry and undamaged. You're important to the plot, after all, and the container of lots of holy prophecy shit...except...GOD FUCKING DAMMIT.

 _J-Rook -_ Mysterious Person/People who hired the blood followers: Cross paths with one of these other groups down here first. Critically misunderstand something.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The spell Kanaya uses on the journal is an Orison (0th-level divine spell) called Mending. I'm probably stretching the use of it a little but fuck it, 0th-level spells exist to be the grease on the cogwheels of the story anyway.
> 
> Also I have no clue whatsoever what was meant by “Slayer's Shadow” and so I made something up.
> 
> EDIT: I have now received two suggestions along the lines of "Everyone: Level up soon". These have now both been deleted, and this is me telling you: **don't bother making level-up suggestions**. They will have no effect besides making me feel pressured and cross.
> 
> I have a levelling-up plan which I am sticking to, and believe me, the slow rate at which we are going through it is killing me. I failed to predict that I would spend a year writing three days in-story, and so yes, it has been a while. This in no small part is due to the sheer weight of suggestions I have had, and the fact that many of them are a) rather frivolous and b) tied so tightly to the current situation that I CANNOT ADVANCE THE PLOT until I have dealt with an ever-replenishing pool of about two to three dozen suggestions _per party_.
> 
> I'm not saying don't make those frivolous, situational suggestions. I'm saying don't give me another page and a half of them every week then prod me because you think the story moves too slow.
> 
> I know this sounds rather grumpy, which is because I am rather grumpy, but I will be less grumpy in about ten to twenty minutes so I hereby apologise in advance for that so Future Me doesn't have to come back and rewrite this and get grumpy all over again.


	57. ==> Gamzee: :o(

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Hero point votes:**  
>  Terezi 3  
> Kanaya 2
> 
>  **Current Hero Points:**  
>  John 3/5, Rose 3/5, Dave 1/3, Jade 1/3  
> Karkat 2/5, Gamzee 1/3, Terezi 1/5  
> Sollux 1/3, Aradia 1/3, Kanaya 1/5  
> Jane 2/5, Jake 1/5, Roxy 2/3, **Dirk 3/3**

## ==> Gamzee: :o(

Everything hurts. Your head is pounding, your bones are aching, and your skin is sore and stinging up in where you’ve been all scratching at it- which still hasn’t done nothing to stop all them little imaginary bugs what you can feel crawling up under and around you. You’ve wrapped your arms around yourself so they can’t be twitching so much as they want to be, but that just up and makes it impossible to not get on all digging your nails into your own flesh. There’s all kinds of nasty soaking through where your sleeves are getting their fraying on, but even though it hurts all kinds of bitterly you can’t stop because the motherfucking _itching_ is worse.

You’ve been trudging on in silence after the others, and it’s a miracle as what you can even stay upright. All this time you’ve been watching your feet, concentrating on walking in the wake of that big-ass green motherfucker what went and tricked you into up and promising yourself into servitude of a god what don’t want nothing but your pain.

_tricked you, did he? SURE AS FUCK SEEMED WILLING TO ME!_

You grit your teeth and make sure that on your next step, you really motherfucking slam your heel down. That all up and sets off being some kind of spasm up in your leg, and you bite a hole on the inside of your mouth trying not to make a sound. You think you might all cry some extra tears, too; it’s hard to tell, on account of how you got used to having them motherfucking drops of sorrow all mussing up the paint on your face forever ago. They just sorta started coming out and you ain’t got no kind of clue on how to be stopping them now.

This isn't how it was supposed to go down.

_WHAT DID YOU GET YOUR MOTHERFUCKING THINK ON WAS ALL GOING TO BE HAPPENING?_

_she was right you know_

_THE OLD BITCH_

_now you ain't got karkat and you ain't got your drugs_

_I'M THE ONLY MIRACLE YOU GOT, MOTHERFUCKER_

_honk_

The big orc- Myoc, you all remind yourself, his name is Myoc and you'd best be all up and remembering it because as best you can tell he all but owns your ass now- he looks around at the small sob that makes its way out of you.

“Do you need a break, little one?”

You glare all up at him and keep on walking. You don't need nothing from him.

_if that's what you're up and thinking_

_THEN YOU'RE A BIGGER MOTHERFUCKING FOOL THAN WHAT YOU'RE LOOKING TO BE._

“Shut up,” you mutter, pulling your arms in a little closer around yourself. It's his motherfucking fault, anyway. If he hadn't been all up and taking over in your body, then you wouldn't never have let Karkat go.

_sure you would. but who cares?_

_NOT LIKE YOU NEED SOME MOTHERFUCKING CASTELESS BEGGAR RIDING YOUR CLOAK AND HOLDING YOUR ASS BACK._

“Is not!” you whisper, staring fixedly at the ground. “Wrong and motherfucking wrong, cos he's a thief!”

_was a thief._

_STILL GOOD MOTHERFUCKING RIDDANCE._

“Told you to shut it!”

You catch sight of Terezi all giving you a curious look and realise that maybe you all spoke that last part a bit loud.

“You want to say the other half out loud, too?” she asks, her voice all kinds of harsh. You blush and are about to bite your lip to be staying quiet some more, when a hand all up and comes to rest on your shoulder. You look up at a pair of amber eyes what is glowing warm with wicked concern, and can't be finding it in yourself to be cruel to Myoc for that moment in time.

“What were you taking?” he asks, and the rest of his party all get to real politely not noticing what you're talking about except for Terezi, what gives you a dirty look, and Jake who just looks plain confused.

You don't actually give a shit what any of them are thinking of you. “Pesh,” you say. “And any other motherfucking thing what seemed a bitchtits idea being at the time.” You narrow your eyes. “How come you was knowing that?”

“It's a fairly common problem in the tribal borderlands,” says the wizard, Owain, from ahead. He takes him a glance back over at you and Myoc; so motherfucking much for politely not noticing nothing. “You get a lot of young Tribes folk who don't want to be initiated, so they skip out to the trade cities- only they've still got the rage issues, and things just turn into a complete fucking mess from there.”

The look he shares with Myoc is being filled with all kinds of messages, ones of sorrow and regret and relief and love of some kind what you ain't even beginning to read it all.

_they think i'm all being some common problem_

_SOME LITTLE RAGE HICCUP WHAT THEY CAN PUT A LEASH ON AND MAKE OBEY_

_but there ain't nothing common about the messiah of nightmares_

_GET THEM FUCKERS DOWN ON THEIR KNEES AND PRAYING FOR MERCY_

_we won't give it_

_BUT IT'LL BE A MOTHERFUCKING RIOT!_

“SHUT UP!” you scream, slamming your hands into your ears so hard that they all get to ringing. The pain shoots down your bones and you collapse forward with a groan, getting all caught by Myoc as you fall. You all up and slam a hand into his chest, open palmed, and howl into his arm. He don't even budge, just kind of holding you there until you go all still. Apart from the twitching, that is.

One of the adventurers asks something in their version of common; Myoc responds in the same language, then rubs a hand through your hair.

“If you cannot walk, little one, then I can carry you.”

You shudder. “No,” you say. “Please. I don't want..” Your voice trails off because you ain't actually all that certain of what it is you don't want. You just can't shake the feeling that there's being a price on this somewhere that you ain't seen.

“Little one.”

Hands rest on your shoulders, and you look up at a worried face framed with tusks and whorled with paint. You feel one of your eyes twitch, and Myoc sighs heavily.

“I know you do not trust me yet, little one,” he says. “But all I seek is for you to find peace with yourself. I know it is hard for you right now; the pain will feed the fury and the fury will increase the pain. If you are having trouble, tell me, and I will do what I can to aid you.”

He don't look like a liar. “Why?” you ask.

The sadness all comes back to his face. “Because I once stood where you stand, and I best repay my teachers by teaching where lessons are needed most. And because you will never be able to control your rage while you struggle against it head-on.”

You nod, and then stop when the motion makes your head be pounding. Myoc chuckles when you press a hand to it, and wraps a protective arm around you as you start moving again. Another conversation in Overcommon starts up, but you ignore the alien words for the comforting sensation of another warm body to lean against. You're still aching and shaking and your stomach is churning, but you force yourself to put your worries about a motherfucker's motives aside and suddenly you don't feel all so bad.

_LIAR._

With a shudder, you open your eyes, just in time to catch sight of Terezi watching you all inscrutable. One finger comes up to run along the edge of her red eyeglasses; you ain't sure why, but she looks almost puzzled, like there's a riddle up and being in you that she ain't managed to be working out yet.

You can hardly be blaming a sister for that when you ain't got it figured out none yet either.

The conversation over your head gets to finishing, and soon the only folks what are talking are being Jake and Lori. You've only got half an ear opened for it, but it sounds like she's being telling him all kinds of stories about the people what she's been meeting in her life. Most of them seem to have been getting flirted with, and more than a few of those she's hinting went further.

You wonder if she'd be cool with doing something with you sometime, before your knees wobble and remind you that you ain't in no state for anything like that. You ain't felt sicker in your life, and you'll admit that if there weren't a divine healer right motherfucking there you'd be a whole lot more worried about dying of it.

You're contemplating asking Myoc if he's all up and got the knowing of what else you might be expecting from this Pesh-sickness, when the light hovering around Owain's head all up and goes out. Everyone shouts and Myoc all pulls you closer to the others; it takes you too long to come to realising through a muggy head that you're all up and not seeing nothing, even with your darkvision.

“This is no natural darkness,” says Gwiryn, and one of your hands all up and tightens instinctive-like in Myoc's sleeve as he releases you.

_afraid yet?_

_YOU FUCKING WILL BE!_

There’s a whisper of metal on leather as your guides draw their weapons, and your hands get to itching for that hammer what you had to swing about earlier. You can all up and hear things skittering about in the dark; at first you’re thinking that’s just another noise what’s rattling loose in your skull, but there’s ragged breathing too and when you all up and feel Myoc turning around and about next to you it all comes clear that you ain’t imagining this.

You motherfucking wish you were.

“Everyone, stay calm and stick together,” says Dyffyd. You don’t have no kind of problem with that, pulling in closer to Myoc and all turning your head about to try and figure what’s all going on where you can’t see. Something rushes past behind you, on account of which you jump your ass right back into the orc. Some big motherfucking fingers all come to resting on your shoulder.

“Calm now, little one,” says your new teacher. “No need for fear when you are the one to dread.”

You can all up and hear your hateful lawsis get her snort on for that; you turn the idea around a few times, trying to be getting a rightful understanding of your feelings on what it is, but there’s too much noise being sounded out in your head for any revelations to be arriving.

“Three behind me, one to the left,” Terezi all up and says, her voice low like what you can barely hear. “Two to the right and above, and one moving about in front.”

The noises all out of the darkness fall themselves silent, and a voice what clicks and cracks whispers from where there was meant to be one in the front. “It can ssee uss?”

“Justice is never blind,” says your lawsis. “And you’re really, really noisy.”

“Only when that iss our dessire,” replies the stranger, and she ain’t making no joke. If you hadn’t just now been at hearing them, you wouldn’t have any kind of idea what there was any motherfucker there.

“Get back, foul creatures!” yells Gwiryn. Something whistles around in the air up near your head, and you hear more hissing, chittering laughter.

“Stop waving that around before you take someone's head off, idiot,” snaps Dyffyd. You hear metal clink near Gwiryn.

“Um, not to interrupt or anything, chaps,” says Jake, his voice wavering some like he wants real bad to be staying quiet and not making no peep. “But I would quite appreciate it if someone could just let me know that I’m mistaken about what our new chums here are.”

The silence drags on, and he swallows. “Or not. You could not, if they were…”

There are noises again now, clicking laughter that would set all your body to tingling if it weren’t already up and doing that. A ragged, unelven chorus of “Sscaredy cat, sscaredy cat!” starts to come from all around you. Something bubbles up inside you and there ain’t nothing what you can do to stop it before it comes all bursting out of your throat, ripping its way into the world without your saying-so.

It’s laughter.

You don’t gotta see to feel the shock all around, but you can’t stop it once it starts. It’s a thing all on its own, possessing you and all coming out through you, and the harder you’re thinking on stopping the more hilarious everything is being. Besides which, you ain’t wanting to stop none: the whole world’s suddenly up and being a miraculous funny place, and you’re feeling righter than you have since you can remember.

_HAHAMOTHER hahafucking HAHAHILARIOUS hahashit hAhHaHhAhHaHhAh_

There’s a familiar clarity in your thoughts; they’re making some beautiful motherfucking harmony with the mirth what’s coming out of you, a raucous merriment what both is you and isn’t, and something all freezes up cold inside because that’s the Bard laughing and you’re all getting to your laugh on with him. He’s _right fucking there,_ and your sight is motherfucking clear, and you don’t never feel yourself so strong as this except for when you ain’t you at all.

You think you’re going to scream, but more laughter pours out. Your legs all stop working right and you can’t be getting in enough breath to fuel yourself so you’re down to gasping all soundless now, clutching round your belly as you fall down onto the ground. You can hear the others all getting their panic on around you, asking what’s being at happening, if you’re all okay, but you can’t say nothing. You’re caught by the Bard and his merrymaking _and there ain’t nothing to pull you out._

Then you hear it, over your own wheezing gasps; a chuckle, one what grows and grows into a cackle then keeps on up growing until there’s some other motherfucker what’s howling out all that mania with all kinds of abandon. You can’t see nothing still, but you know that vicious hilarity, and some part of you inside all growls at what Terezi might be having to feel all wantonly humorous over.

“What in the hells has got into you two?” shouts Lori over the racket. You can’t be stopping, still spasming some on the ground, but your lawsis’s guffaws all die down to chuckles and snickers so as she can be speaking.

“Takes time to laugh,” she says, and that’s all the more mystifying. Another giggle squeezes its way out of you.

“Sso?” hisses a voice from the shadows. “Alwayss time, for uss.”

Terezi snorts and you and the Bard all contemplate the smirk what you know she’s wearing. So motherfucking smug, so motherfucking _in control,_ and so like some little mini-matriarch what thinks she got all her power over you and everyone. You think you could get yourself a whole new addiction in defying her. The Bard enthusiastically agrees.

“You might,” she says, sounding like she just won some battle. “But your darkness doesn’t.”

There’s a heartbeat after she’s spoken, and then suddenly your sight gets all returned to you. The cave lights up with ordinary blackness and the shimmering glow of the magic orb what has been following Owain around all the time he’s been wakeful throws colour dancing around. Terezi’s grinning even more than what you expected of her; bitch must have been counting or something, because the driders all up and surrounding you look all kinds of put out but not much surprised that their magical deeper than darkness dark shit is all gone.

Seeing them finally brings your laughter crashing to a halt, all legs and bulbous bodies and heads what look like the bodies of drow but ain’t moving any kind of right and proper. Jake yelps and you can hear all of them others with you shifting closer to one another; the only ones what don’t react in fear is you and Terezi. By rights you ought to be afraid, you think; everything about the driders is wrong, deep and sickening wrong, moving too quick and standing too still and all crouched over like they’re forever planning to pounce. It ain’t right to see their spokespider standing there with a body what has beautiful round breasts and tight stomach muscles and a belly button what you could see yourself all getting down and worshipping for how perfect it’s being, only all that’s on top of shiny chitin and brown-black legs the thickness of your arm and an immense round bulb of a body what ends in a gland dripping with viscous web.

But the miracle of it is the eyes. You’re looking right into them, a pair of red irises what are staring back all wide and curious, and you can see past the stained fangs and the speckles of chitin, past the unkempt white tangle of hair and the dried splashes of blood. You can see the young elf what could once have been inside the spokespider, and she looks something like Marah but all the more like her brother.

Maybe you ain’t the quickest of thinkers, but you’re not being that stupid. You should be scared, and the Bard knows it as good and true as you do. But you can’t keep from thinking that it’s all kinds of fair; you couldn’t save either of them, and now what family they got all up and gets vengeance- and sustenance- from you.

Spokespider blinks at you. “You sstopped laughing,” she says, sounding put out. Even her voice is sounding like Marah, if Marah was being a spiderbitch.

The Bard grins back at her before you can think of any words, stretching your mouth out so wide it’s almost being painful. “You ain’t so scary as you think,” he says. Or you say. You ain’t so sure right now who’s being who. “Got a name, sister?”

The driders shuffle about. You can see them all clear now, six males, and from how Terezi is staring all intent at them you’re guessing she’s seeing all the same resemblance as what you do. Only one other than the spokespider is looking as old as you’re being. The rest seem younger, the two of them up on the wall hardly looking more than hatchlings and no less predatory for it. They’re all being related to Marah: you knew her well enough that there ain’t no question of it. You all up and have a few moments of serious motherfucking panic before you remember that motherfucking miracle of a curse you got on you, and you start all up and giggling again because ain’t none of these abominations anything to do with you.

Eyes fixed on the driders, Myoc crouches down beside you and all rests his hand gentle-like on your shoulder, pressing it into the ground in a way that shouldn’t be so comforting as what it is.

“It’s alright, little one,” he says, still watching them rather than you. “If the Bard has words for us, you can speak them.”

You squint up at him, not sure how to explain the sheer motherfucking hilarity of the idea that is yourself trying to actually take care of any sort of hatchling, abominable or not. Of all the elves ever given life, you don’t think you could maybe be coming up with a worse choice for a parent than you. The very thought is motherfucking _golden._

There are other words, though, ones that come pouring up out of you without the need for thought, and with Myoc’s gentle touch you let them loose.

“It’s cute you think you’re scary,” you say, letting your head and eyes roll back so you’re looking up into the spokespider’s face. “All getting your laughter on at the kid there. But I know MOTHERFUCKING scary and I know MOTHERFUCKING funny and you ain’t either.” The grin all up and comes back, splitting up your face like a gash, a scar. “I could FUCKING kill you,” growls your voice, while part of you gibbers and screams and wonders why you would say that to this creature what is looking at you with your best friend’s eyes like she’s thinking on how best to eat you. “I could tear off all your MOTHERFUCKING SPINDLESTRUTS like the INSIGNIFICANT BUG YOU MOTHERFUCKING ARE!” You howl in laughter and gasp for another breath. “Catch you in your own web, LITTLE INSECT, because I am the MOTHERFUCKING AGENT OF MIRTH AND FURY and you are a FUCKING JOKE!”

She ain’t pleased none with what he’s saying. None of them are. They’re all shifting and hissing, and those teeth of theirs really are being the sharpest and the most pointed of fangs. Your travelling companions raise their weapons, ready for battle, and you feel Myoc’s hand squeeze your shoulder. Without looking away from his enemy, he all up and senses you look to him, and nods.

Your gaze flickers back to the spidery sister what is leaning over you, dribbling spit and venom, eyes flared with anger what matches some other soul you’ve seen.

“I’m sorry,” say your lips, and they don’t mean for the foulness that’s just been pouring from them. The Bard stares at her through your eyes. “Sorry for the LATE MOTHERFUCKING ARRIVAL. You down with that?”

“You are nassty,” says the drider, narrowing her eyes to a pair of red-tinted slits. “I ssmell you, tasste ass foul ass you ssound. Bessidess…” She raises her head, and one long foreleg, to point to Terezi. “We promissed the Ssylph. Passsage and protection.”

“Sylph… Kanaya?” Terezi steps forward, shaking off Gwiryn’s hand when he tries to stop her. “You’ve seen her? I assume she is well, if you were making promises.”

“Yess,” the drider says. “She travelss to you and her other friendss.”

From your upside-down on the floor vantage point, you see Terezi frown. “What other friends?”

The driders start to mutter. You pick out the words “broodblood” and “brother” amongst the susurrations.

“Sss, more who travel our wayss,” the spokespider says. She grins, and you don’t think that you or Terezi are ever going to be matching up to what her mouth can be doing in the realms of wideass toothy smirks. “Friendss of the little Mother and friendss of our brood-brother, travelss with them.”

Your heart stops. You did think you were all up and being comfortable on the ground, but before you know where you’re at you’re sitting upright, fingers clenching in the dust. “Karkat? Is he being alive?”

The drider sneers at you. “Had besst be,” she says. “Or we sslaughter you intruderss.” She licks her lips. “He ssmellss of kin, and if he diess, the oness who eat him are uss.”

There ain’t even the anger in you to respond to that. All of it is washed out on a tide of rising hope, a crashing wave of relief and happiness that you ain’t alone, that somewhere out there your brother survived what you were so sure he couldn’t. The Bard goes all to being silent, drowned out by the neverending loop of _he’s not dead, Karkat’s alive_ that keeps on its running around and around in your mind.

“Where?” you manage to say, abruptly being aware too much of how your mouth has all dried out with this laughing and this talking. “Where’s he at?”

“He comess,” the spokespider says, voice moving about in the air as chitin scrapes on the rock. “But you musst change your path. Danger liess ahead; the deep darknessss hass awoken, and will conssume. Take a ssafer road.” She gives you a look like there ain’t no doubt of what kind of idiot you're all up and being. It don’t sting so bad on account of how she straightaway gives all of you that same look.

“Thank you for your warning,” says Terezi, smiles all gone now.

The drider hisses, and in a complex jig of legs turns to go. Before she gets to reaching an exit she is stopped by the chittering of one of the small pair, and turns back. Terezi stands her ground as the drider approaches, but it ain’t her that the spidersis is headed for. Jake lets out a real unmanly squeak when she all up and leans in over him; he pulls himself back but gets stopped what by Lori being in the way, and ends up all nose-to-nose with the drider.

His face all wrinkles up, and not just because she don’t smell any kinds of pleasant.

“Another messssage,” she says. “For you, from an ally who hass long kept thosse like uss fed. She asskss you how you are liking your adventure.”

Jake’s eyes go all wide. “I- what?” The drider glares at him, and he swallows. “I’m sorry. Just rather taken aback, is all, since I don’t believe I’m acquainted with this friend of yours and I’m a mite puzzled as to why they would choose to deliver a message through you instead of in person.”

“She sseess you watching,” says the spokespider. “The sspiderss know her besst. Take the risskss she putss before you- she hass little patiensse when she feelss she would do better in your plasse. Thosse who do not willingly jump shall be pushed.” The last word was accompanied by a jab with one leg; avoiding it sent Jake all stumbling back a step and pushing Lori with him.

“Right,” says Jake, fingers all fiddling with the binding on his pick, eyes locked on the drider looming over him. “I’ll get right on that, then. Do a bang-up job. I’ll be the best bloody adventurer and risk-taker she ever saw, whoever she is.” He gives a half-hearted wink and a one-handed pistol gesture. “Uh, please do tell her there’s no need to go around pushing me off anything.”

The drider lets out a wheezing hiss and gives him one last venomous glare. “Luck iss on your sside,” she says, turning away again. “And if you die, do sso where we can reach you.”

The driders stream past you, a mad rush of legs and the stench of something rotten, and you can't quite be making yourself to look away as their legs somehow fold into let them scuttle down a tunnel what's smaller than they are. The spokespider is the last one to go, and once again she pauses at the last moment. This time she only turns, though, and looks herself all at you.

“No namess,” she says. Not sorrowful, not proud, only a fact. “But the kin call me Ssisster, and the otherss call me Red-Eyess.”

“Thanks, Sister Red-Eyes,” you say, tongue still being loose from the Bard. “For all them miracles where you been helping us, instead of eating us.”

This time she does smile, and the way her face lights up is just like how Karkat's does. “There'ss time yet,” she says, and before you can be saying anything more to that she all up and vanishes on you.

As soon as they're all up and gone you try to be getting up to your feet, but your plans are being all thwarted by your body, what seems to have decided on having itself be going all twitchy and no use for doing nothing. Myoc barely manages to catch you before you get yourself face-first into the floor, and he helps you be getting to your feet. Your heart is fluttering like it's loose in your chest and you gotta lean yourself against a wall, panting for breath and all sweating with the effort, but your head is only on in one place.

Karkat's alive.

You take a stumbling step forwards and near on collapse again. Myoc catches you and this time all pulls you up into being carried. He's strong and warm and if you were in any kind of state for feeling shit you'd be hells of grateful for all this caring shit, but as it is your stomach flips over from the motion and you vomit on his boots. He pulls a face; Owain sighs, and all cleans the mess up with a flick of his fingers. You feel stupidly grateful for them both.

“So, are we going to talk about the apparently friendly driders?” the wizard all asks, looking all pointed at Terezi.

She stares up and all back at him. “My friend is a Sylphite priestess. They have some measure of control over the driders.” She glances sideways at you. “And there are... other factors. The question we should be asking is whether there is another route to our destination.”

“There's a roundabout passage,” Lori says. “But it takes a few more hours. Are we sure this isn't a trap?”

“If it was a trap, they could've just attacked us in the dark,” says Dyffyd. “I'm more concerned with these friends of yours. Right now I'm tempted to say we should cut our losses- this road's never been this busy before.”

“NO!” Every motherfucker looks round at you as you try to be struggling your way upright. “We gotta go to them,” you say, failing and slumping against the wall and fighting to push your way all back up again. “You heard them, Karkat's gonna be there. Don't you MOTHERFUCKING tell me this MOTHERFUCKER can't get his ass over to FIND HIS BROTHER!”

Jake groans and crouches. “Gamzee, old chap, I think you're letting yourself get a bit het up,” he says, ducking his head about to be keeping eye contact as you thrash. “Personally, I'm over any moon you name to hear that Karkat's in one piece, and Terezi's rather jubilant herself, but you need to get a hold of yourself.”

He's absolutely right, and part of you is knowing that. The rest, however, is hurting and tired and ain't quite sure what's safe and what ain't no more, so you just do whatever shit comes into your head. You're pretty sure he weren't expecting you to lunge forward and go biting him.

“OWOW!” Jake kicks you in the belly and jumps back, leaving you all doubled over and groaning. It really motherfucking hurts, worse than it ought to, and you _want Karkat now._

“I don't think he's got the control yet,” you hear Myoc saying, and Jake says something about Karkat _-where is he, where is he, he should be here for you that MOTHERFUCKING MUTANT TRAITOR._

“I've got this.”

The last thing you see before you black out is Terezi's boot, headed straight for your head. There's just enough of you still up and being sane to know she done the right thing, and to hate her for it anyway.

### Suggestions Used

 _ttd0000 -_ Gamzee: Chafe under your new teacher's yoke.

 _Nikotehfox -_ Gamzee: Try to learn about controlling your rage.

 _Nikotehfox -_ Bard: Make entirely unhelpful comments.

 _mzingalwa -_ Gamzee: due to your withdrawal symptoms (from both pesh and your best bro) start having schizophrenic arguments with the bard

 _mzingalwa -_ Terezi: Get a weird sense of what the argument is about, assume that this is simply because you can hear what Gamzee is muttering.

 _mzingalwa -_ Terezi: Be completely wrong in that assumption

 _Ms Arano -_ Gamzee: Notice some things about your, er, new companions.

 _Aryashi -_ Myoc: Be a BAMF- no wait, you already did that. Be an awesome teacher for Gamzee.

 _Emiko842 -_ Gamzee: grudgingly admit that you like this painted motherfucker.

 _Aryashi -_ Gamzee: Struggle to learn, but slowly start to get it

 _Ms Arano -_ Terezi: Have the feeling that you've forgotten something REALLY important...

 _Nikotehfox -_ Driders: Find the Seer Mother told you about.

 _Darwin G'wein -_ Gamzee: Almost freak up when you get your understanding out what that you don't need to be all angry like to over and FLIP. Then cure your freak with a gooood laugh...

 _Darwin G'wein -_ Terezi: Be One-Up'ed upon by laugh. He dares challenge the master?!

 _Hello?Yesthisisdog -_ Terezi: laugh maniacally. It's been awhile. Plus it's fun to do.

 _Darwin G'wein -_ Bard!Gamzee: ENGAGE these new VICTIMS in an ART AS ANCIENT as the legendary SLAM POETRY: M-F-IN' ONEUPMANSHIP.

 _LostSock -_ Gamzee: Laugh off the idea of ever being a parent

 _Ms Arano -_ Terezi: Speak with a drider

 _Scedasticity -_ Any lord of a lunar plane: Attempt to send a helpful, if somewhat cryptic, sign to your favorite of our adventurers. Become frustrated when it turns out to be too cryptic. Optional: Lament that you'd so totally be doing a better job in their position.

 _purpleBookworm -_ Gamzee: get your motherfucking thank on at to the spidersis on of these motherfucking miracle die rolls. AND ALSO YOUR MOTHERFUCKING CONGRATULATIONS, BECAUSE YOU'VE BEEN UNDER AND STANDING HOW DOING MIRACLES WITH AT OTHER PEOPLE IS UP AND BEING ALL KINDS OF NOT EASY ON A THIEF. (or, if actually acknowledging the dice is a bit too meta for you, which i suppose it might be, you could maybe try and have something else happen that Gamzee could get his motherfucking thank on at to the spidersis on of?)

 _celynbrum –_ Author: Claim to have fulfilled a suggestion by doing something completely different to the original intent that nonetheless looks superficially similar if you squint a bit.

 _Nikotehfox -_ Gamzee: Get your motherfucking hunt on for your bestest of friends

 _1JakoftheMoon1 -_ Terezi: Knock out Gamzee before he loses his shit again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GOD _DAMMIT_ GAMZEE! STOP MAKING EVERYTHING WORSE!
> 
> So yeah, at this point I'd say the hints are less hints and more large arrow signs: if you haven't figured out the two spots Karkat (and Marah and Gamzee) gets on Drow Jerry Springer yet, you can ask, as I doubt they qualify as spoilers any more.
> 
> You will probably want brain bleach though.


	58. ==> Sollux: Be More D00med The Closer You Get To Golgesi

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Hero point votes:**  
>  Terezi 3  
> Kanaya 2  
> Aradia 1  
> Gamzee 1
> 
>  **Current Hero Points:**  
>  John 3/5, Rose 3/5, Dave 1/3, Jade 1/3  
> Karkat 2/5, Gamzee 1/3, Terezi 1/5  
> Sollux 1/3, Aradia 1/3, Kanaya 1/5  
> Jane 2/5, Jake 1/5, Roxy 2/3, **Dirk 3/3**

## ==> Sollux: Be More D00med The Closer You Get To Golgesi

“You know, AA’th gonna flip a bitth if thee thees you doing that.”

Karkat almost falls off the rock he’s sat on and you snicker, bending down to pick up the Ancient And Priceless Historical Journal that he was scribbling in the back of. You briefly glance at the sooty scrawl before he grabs it back out of your hands, shoves it in his pack, and makes a rude gesture in your direction.

“Real mature, KK,” you tell him. The pebble he throws in your direction is off-mark, but you freeze it anyway, a flick of your fingers surrounding it with the flickering red-blue light that is the hallmark of the magic in your blood. Honestly, you couldn’t care less what he does to the Journal- the difference between _priceless_ and _worthless_ is slight, and unlike Aradia you don’t give a shit about history unless it’s includes some serious arcane knowledge or a hefty resale value- but messing with him is hilarious.

“Did I ask for your input?” he snaps, grabbing his pack and cuddling it close like he thinks you’re about to run off with it. “Did I stick up some huge painted sign saying: _complete spiderfucking assholes wanted, only completely insufferable douchebags need audition?_ Oh, wait, I didn’t, because that would be stupid.”

“Yeah, well, you are pretty thtupid,” you say, turning to follow him as he storms past you towards the rest of the group. “I mean, what kind of idiot would go and jump in a river if he couldn’t thwim?” You pause for a fraction of a second, not long enough for him to interrupt. “That would be you. You’re the idiot.”

“I didn’t jump, beetle-brains, I was pushed,” Karkat says, glaring at you. You snicker, trying to think of more ways to make him lose his shit.

Bryn is watching the two of you walk up, and she laughs at the looks you’re giving one another. “A right pair you two are! Anyone would think you’d known each other a bloody lifetime, not a few hours!”

You stop walking, frozen in your steps because she’s right. You weren’t even thinking when you started teasing Karkat, but now you examine your behaviour, you’re not acting like you just met him. He’s an aggressive, unknown Drow who’s shown up out of nowhere, and he’s armed. You hate meeting new people, especially ones that look like they might just slit your throat and take your money, double especially ones whose first action is trying to pummel you into the ground.

There is no way you should trust this guy enough to deliberately antagonise him, and from the wide-eyed look he’s giving you he’s having the exact same thoughts. Which you shouldn’t know him well enough to work out. _Damn it._

“It’s okay, Sollux, I get it,” says Aradia, walking over and grabbing your hand. She looks at Karkat out of the side of her eye. “I kind of feel like I met him before, too.”

“Because that’s not creepy or weird at all,” says Karkat, hunching over and hurrying to catch up to Jade. “Can we just drop this before I start screaming uncontrollably?”

Break time is over and your group is moving out and downwards, deeper into the mountain. Thyri waits until you are all in motion, herding you up like a mother hen, before she falls into step near the back. “Maybe it’s to do with those Godmarks you’re sporting,” she says. “Like calling to like and all that.”

You look over at Jade and her wolf. “Can’t thay I felt it when we picked up the apprentithe Guardian, there.”

“Hey, I’m not an apprentice anything, mister!” Jade looks like she’s about to make a rude gesture in your direction, but Thyri frowns at her and her hand drops. You grin, victorious, and almost miss the curious look Karkat gives you.

“It could be the marks,” he says. “I sure as fuck warmed to Gamzee quicker than I-“ He breaks off when you all look at him, and slams a hand into his own head. “Fuck.”

“Interesting,” Thyri says, speeding up until she’s walking next to Karkat. “If you don’t mind my asking, young man, which God chose him?”

Karkat scowls at the ground. “The Bard of Rage,” he says, eventually.

You flinch back along with everyone else. You might not be religious, but you don’t hang out in adventuring circles for long without hearing stories about those cults. Sure, you never spoke to anyone who had actually personally met a Bard cultist, but all that blood and madness made for pretty good fireside stories so long as you didn’t think too hard on what kind of demon-god wanted that from his followers. Trying to imagine the sort of person he would mark… yeah, that’s not someone you’d want to run into.

Everyone else seems to have been thinking along similar lines, and Karkat is glaring at you all like you just killed his puppy or something. “He’s not like that, idiots,” he snaps, pulling himself tighter together and practically glowing with anger. “He just- we deal with it, okay? Stop him from losing his shit altogether.”

Thyri's face softens. "You weren't lying, then." Karkat looks over at her in surprise, and she rolls her eyes. "The drugs, boy. I was wondering why you didn't seem to be suffering any ill effects."

Karkat glares at her. "They're still not yours, and in the vanishingly unlikely event that I ever see my best friend in the entire world ever again, I want them back."

Thyri shakes her head. "No. Whatever problems he has, there has to be a better solution."

"If there was, don't you think we would have found it?" Karkat yells, spinning to face the older dwarf. "You think you can come down here out of your dwarf hold with its gold and- and dwarves, I guess, and tell me how to take care of my family? Talk to me again when you've seen the Bard looking out of your brother's eyes and heard him break down after! Talk to me when you're the one who has to live with these thrice-cursed fucking _marks!"_ His eye twitches, and he eyes up a wall as if contemplating beating his head against it.

You're about to step in and distract him when Aradia beats you to the punch. "Come on, Stormy!" she says brightly, slipping an arm around Karkat and steering him back towards the group. "If you and your brother are Godmarked, then you need to hear about the cave we found full of statues of the Gods!"

"Stormy?" says Karkat, too confused to resist. "Statues? What the fuck are you..."

"Did you know the Knight of Blood was completely bare from the waist up?" says Aradia, with a big grin that you recognise as her I-saw-some-cool-history smile.

"There wasn't much below it, either," Jade adds, coming up on the other side of Karkat. He's essentially surrounded. You would feel sorry for him, but you're too busy being glad it's not you.

"Not a patch on the Bard, though," says Aradia, and she winks at an increasingly slack-jawed Karkat. " _He_ had a really, really big..."

You tune out when Karkat starts shouting. The talk of the cavern temple reminds you of its lone occupant and you look down at the amulet around your neck. It's only been there since yesterday, but it already feels like a part of you, and you think on that as you turn it around in your fingers.

 _Maybe it's because I'm oathbound to the ghost inside it,_ you think, looking at the pendant properly for the first time. It's clearly broken, the jagged line of the break running across an otherwise perfect circle and the shield design in the centre. It's all surprisingly plain, but you note that the silvery metal hasn't tarnished at all. You wish you'd had a chance to really check it for magic before Sir Cosbie took up residence, but from the way the ghost reacted you're almost certain that you're wearing one of the fragments of the legendary Amulet of Guidance, the only artifact in existence able to lead the way to the Inner Sanctum of the Labyrinth Maker.

There might have been smarter courses of action than swearing an oath to the first ghost to threaten someone in your general vicinity and letting the spirit possess an ancient artifact, but you are pretty sure this means nobody can take the amulet off you until you've fulfilled your debt. You are definitely okay with that. It's probably best if you make a serious attempt to start asking about Sir Cosbie's missing companions once you're back near civilisation, though. You can start with that spellcaster he mentioned- Marius Wordweaver, that was it. Even if he can't help you stave off the wrath of a ghost, he sounds like an interesting mage to speak to.

You tune back in to the others and are unsurprised to find that Karkat is still flipping his shit all over the place.

"...perfectly fucking calm! I am the pinnacle of medative prowess; my feathers remain entirely unruffled by the unsolicited and unwelcome knowledge that the God who chose me to fuck about with is one of the founding members of an all-powerful extra-planar fetish club! Why in the name of the Deep Dragon's asscrack would that upset me at all!?!"

The girls are all snickering, even Thyri hiding a smile behind her hand. You roll your eyes like the unimpressed master of arcane mysteries you are. Karkat is such a little bitch.

"You are so grumpy!" Jade says, thumping Karkat's arm in a comradely punch. "You're even grouchier than Sollux, and he's completely antisocial!"

Oh, now that stung. You scowl at the druid girl. "Maybe I jutht don't like thothialithing with you, athhat."

Karkat looks back over his shoulder at you. "Maybe you have just enough self-awareness to realise that you actually talking to another living creature would be enough to drive them into hermitage in an attempt to escape the sheer crushing mundanity of your presence."

"Wath I athking for your input, bitth?" you snap, your voice rising.

"No, but you can have it anyway, since you're apparantly too much of a whiny hatchling to reach your own conclusions." Karkat's voice is climbing in volume to match yours, but that just spurs your anger on to greater heights.

"Don't tell me, you're jealouth of my thupendouth powerth!"

"Thtupid lithp is more like it!" Karkat yells back.

"Who are you calling thtupid, athhole?"

"Who are you calling asshole, shitsucker?"

"Whorethon!"

"PIGFUCKER!"

"Fuck you!"

"Fuck YOU!"

"GUYS!" Jade breaks into your rising argument by physically stepping between the two of you; you hadn't even noticed that you and Karkat had been getting close enough to stand nose-to-nose until she pushes you apart. You both turn your glares on her, and she sighs heavily before scowling back. "I don't know what you're thinking! Do you want every horrible monster down here to know where we are?"

"Dependth if KK'th related to them or not," you say, and grin smugly when Aradia winks at you. Karkat is less impressed and looks like he's about to dive for you again, but Jade restrains him by resting a hand on his shoulder.

"Oh, no you don't!" she says. "You two are going to make up right now!" She looks around, then shoves you both towards Bec. "Both of you, give Bec a pat and promise to be friends!"

You and Karkat share a Look, which Thyri catches.

"She's right, my young buckos," says the older dwarf, looking at each of you in turn. "Both of you, that is quite enough, and you will make up and be civil to one another whether you pet the wolf or no!"

You and Karkat share another Look, this one somewhat more sympathetic. He breaks first.

"Fuck it," he mutters, reaching out with one shaking hand and brushing lightly against the outermost tips of Bec's tufty fur. The wolf lets out a bark and pushes his head up, not so much being petted as petting himself on Karkat's hand. You watch him through narrow eyes; you may have a truce of sorts, but there's still something weird about that wolf.

"Come on then, Sollux old boy!" says Bryn behind you, and despite your misgivings you reach out and wrap your hand into the fur. It's as thick and warm as you remember. Your fingers brush against Karkat's, and he sighs.

"Okay, look," he says, the words quiet and rushing together. "I didn't mean to lose my shit that badly, and I know we have to work together but I'm not just saying this because of that. It was still pretty shitty of me after everything you guys have done and..."

"Apology accthepted," you say. "And yeth, we can be friendth."

The smile he gives you is dazzling. There is no other word for it. It lasts for all of three seconds before it fades into a frown.

"Hey, aren't you going to say sorry too?"

"Nah," you say, smirking, and dance back when his hand releases from Bec's fur to slap at you. The two of you spend a minute chasing around the wolf, who twists this way and that and barks excitedly, but despite the cursing you both keep it quiet and it feels better-humoured than it did before.

Eventually you tire yourselves out some, and fall back into formation with the others. Jade grins as she welcomes her animal companion back to her side, and you give Bec one last nod. You'll figure him out one day.

"So, Karkat," says Jade, smiling at your now-quiet companion. "What were those spider-things- um, Driders, right? What were they talking about, anyway?"

"What the fuck are you blabbering about?" Karkat asked, with a frown equal parts annoyance and confusion.

"They called you little brother, right? And broodblood, whatever that is," says Jade. She shakes her head. "I don't get it. They seemed pretty dangerous, and not like they were usually friendly at all. Did you know them somehow?"

"No," says Karkat, his voice tight.

You frown. "Want to try that again? Becauthe unlike thethe athholeth, I caught thight of one of them jutht before it all went black, and he looked a hell of a lot like you."

Karkat is silent for slightly too long before he says, in a voice that is far, far too light and unconcerned; "You know, I heard that family reunions suck ass, but this is more like a gaping enchanted shitpit. Nice of big sis to introduce herself, though."

There's another long pause, enough for it to be painfully clear that the attempt to make light of it isn't working, before Thyri speaks. "If you don't want to talk about it, lad..."

"No, I fucking don't want to talk about it!" Karkat yells, his voice echoing off the walls again. He ignores Jade's frantic hushing and glares around at all of you. "But since you spitgulping shitwads don't seem to understand the meaning of words like _privacy_ or _personal_ and I would like to actually get some peace and quiet at some point before we all die a horrible death down here, I'll explain it in short, simple words that you can understand!" His head moves, locking eye contact with each of you in turn. "Driders are created by alchemy and magic. Don't fucking ask me how, but somehow they take eggs- elf eggs- that haven't started hatching yet, and they make them into those things. Fortunately for the sick shits who dedicate their lives to the creation of unholy abominations, the Shanties are full of whores who are poor as shit and, astoundingly, keep finding themselves in possession of eggs that don't have a bug on lava's chance of living a ripe full life as elves, anyway."

Everyone has turned various interesting colours, and you feel vaguely nauseous, but you think Thyri is winning. She looks almost as grey as the stone all around, except for spots of pinkish red spreading across her cheeks. "You can't mean..." she says, voice uncharacteristically quiet. "Surely, no parent would!?"

"Sell their own eggs? Oh, they would," says Karkat, and he's quiet too now. "Pretty fucking cheap, too, although a clutch'll probably see you fed for a month or two and that's better than most other deals you'll get. And just in case it wasn't completely, sickeningly, humiliatingly clear by now: I grew up in the Shanties. My mother was a whore. And every single brother or sister I might have ever had by blood has eight legs and talks fluent spider. Turns out they still think of me as family, which is sweet, because I always wanted a clutch of soulless man-eating monsters as close blood kin! Now can we shut the fuck up about this so I can go back to pretending I'm an only child?"

There isn't much anyone can say to that. You watch silently as Thyri steps forward to try and wrap an arm around Karkat; he quickly shakes it off, but ends up leaning into Bec when the wolf whines and presses into his other side. He's fuming, you think, and no surprise there because the others are all staring at him like he just grew an extra head.

You actually feel kind of bad about calling him a whoreson. You'd figured it got to him, but not why, and you kind of get how sometimes shit can hit a little close to home. Maybe you'll apologise later, when he's less likely to bite your head off. Or maybe not. Actually, maybe you'll use the insult more; it's not like he can deny it or anything.

More pressingly, though, you’re thinking about the mechanics of Driders. You’ve looked into elven biology a few times in the past- not much, just enough to be _absolutely certain_ that you’re not a normal half-elf. Eggs don’t just hatch themselves, which means that whatever alchemical or magical process they go through is acting to substitute the arcane stimulation of a parent. It’s also allowing a far more extreme adaptation of traits than would be normal; while you don’t know what a “normal” half-spider elf would look like, you’re certain that the extra legs wouldn’t be part of the bargain.

“Thir William?” you whisper under your breath, making sure that nobody can overhear you.

 _Are you in need of assistance, young mage?_ His voice echoes in your mind, still holding that hollow note of undeath. It bothers you less and less every time you hear it.

“Yeah,” you tell him, and take one more glance at the others to be sure that you’re not going to be heard. “You thaid I looked like thith Mariuth Wordweaver guy, right? How much like him?”

There’s a long pause, and you think that maybe the connection broke or your bound ghost isn’t going to answer, before his voice sounds again in your skull. _Less than I first thought,_ he says, slow with consideration. _Superficially you share many traits, and those are identical, but when I study your face I see a man of different lineage._

“Thankth,” you mutter, reminding yourself that it doesn’t prove or disprove anything. You’re definitely going to want to talk to this guy, and not just because of the Amulet, but it’s too soon to start jumping to conclusions. And besides, even if the buried suspicion screaming behind your logic is right, it doesn’t matter. It shouldn’t matter. Aradia would tell you that.

She always has done.

_You had hidden when the tent-flap opened, letting harsh sunlight stream into your cool, shadowy haven. It’s not just the burst of light that makes you hide your eyes. You’ve learned that in the dark they’re the first thing anyone sees of you, and you don’t want to be seen._

_There’s shouting as someone is shoved in. Whoever they are, they’re small like you, but you can’t pick out much more while they’re nothing but a silhouette. The newcomer growls and charges at the man in the door, but they bounce right off. You burrow further down into the collection of furs and blankets that you use for a nest; they might be second- and third-hand, but they’re still cosy and you feel safer cocooned in them._

_“Stay in here if you know what’s good for you, brat,” the man growls, and the tent-flap falls closed behind him. Darkness returns and you see the newcomer for the first time; you’ve not seen many girls, but you think she is one, with really long hair that stands up in puffy tangles and a ragged skirt._

_She also has a pair of large, curling horns the same colour as yours, and skin the same shade of grey. You’ve never seen someone like you before, and you stare from the safety of your nest as she scowls at the tent-flap then pushes herself to her feet. When you realise what she’s planning to do, you don’t even think._

_“No! Don’t!”_

_She freezes, one hand brushing the leather flap, and stares back at you. You’re leaning half out of your nest, eyes glowing in the shadows, and there’s no hiding that you’re there or that you’re a freak now._

_“There’th a guard outthide,” you tell her in a small voice, shrinking back into your cocoon. “They get mad if you don’t do what they thay.”_

_She studies you for a moment, then walks over and drops down to sit a couple of feet away. You pull back, afraid, but she just smiles at you through a face that’s streaked with tears and says; “Hi! My name’s Aradia!”_

_Unsure, you blink a couple of times before you say; “Thollucth.”_

_“Thanks for warning me, Sollux.” She chews her lip for a bit, glancing back at the thin line of sunlight that marks the entrance. “How long have you been here?”_

_You shrug. You made camp here yesterday, but you don’t think that’s what she means._

_Aradia’s eyes go wide. “But- where’s your lusus?”_

_“What’th that?” you ask, and she claps a hand over her mouth and says something muffled. You stare at her until she takes her hand away and repeats herself._

_“But everyone has a lusus! Who looks after you and makes sure you eat and scares off bad people and shows you the way to the City?”_

_You shake your head. You don’t remember anyone ever doing any of that stuff for you. “Dunno. Where’th yourth?”_

_Her lip wobbles and you immediately regret asking as fresh tears start to pour down her face. “She- she- they-“_

_Feeling bad for upsetting her- you should’ve known better than to ask- you reach out and give her arm a shaky pat. She’s a bit bigger than you are, and way less bony. You think it might be nice to hug her sometime, if she’ll let you._

_Her tears are coloured like yours, only red instead of yellow. You watch them drip onto your blankets and talk without thinking again. “Are you a monthter too?”_

_She looks at you, mouth hanging open. “Huh?”_

_You wriggle back into your nest some and hunch over on yourself. “They thaid I’m a monthter and a freak and I ought to be glad I’m utheful tho they don’t drown me in a river. I never thaw thomeone elthe with hornth and grey thkin and coloured tearth before. Are you like me?”_

_“I’m a tiefling, not a monster!” the girl says, folding her arms and sticking her chin up. “And you’re- well, I don’t know what you are, but it’s a lot like a tiefling and you’re nice so I know you’re not a monster, either!”_

_You stare at Aradia, who has to be the kindest person you’ve ever met ever. She doesn’t deserve to be in here; they’ve never put anyone in with you before, but you bet it’s not a good sign. You hope she stays, though; it’s selfish of you, but you think it might be good to have someone else around, if they’re nice and not scary._

_Mind made up, you poke your head out of its cocoon to meet her eyes. They’re not like yours, but you’ve never seen eyes like them. They’re sort of like the ones the elves from the city have, but they’re yellow instead of white, and the insides are all grey like your skin._

_“I’m not gonna let anything bad happen to you,” you say, and although you have no idea how you’re going to do that you mean every word._

_Aradia smiles and leans forward. Before you can flinch back you’re caught, and you find yourself enveloped in a warm hug that is even more safe and warm and caring than you imagined. Slowly, you extend your arms to wrap around her, and bury your nose in her shoulder. She smells like the forest, and rain, and all the things that are just out of reach._

_“I’m not gonna let anything bad happen to you, either,” she promises._

“Sollux! Look out!”

You are snapped out of your memories by a hand grabbing your shoulder and yanking you back. You almost lash out before two things sink in; firstly, the person holding you is Aradia. Secondly, you were about to walk out into nothingness.

“Thankth,” you say, staring into the hole you _nearly_ plummeted to your death down. It would have been an easy mistake to make; you’re standing on a time-worn stone step, the third one down, and after a fifteen-foot gap over a maw of black nothing the staircase continues winding down into the rock as if nothing is wrong.

“Damn and blast it,” says Thyri, peering past you. “It must have fallen in. We’ll have to go around.”

“Can we afford to?” Aradia asks. “We split up from the others almost two days ago, and if we backtrack we’ll lose hours!” She stares thoughtfully into the air. “Unless they’ve run into problems too, I suppose, in which case we should probably try to be a little late…”

Everyone’s staring at her like she’s lost her mind.

“She’s lost her fucking mind,” says Karkat. You roll your eyes and tap her on the shoulder.

“Nobody careth, AA,” you say when she looks around. “Jutht drop it.” From the way your companions gasp, you guess that sounded pretty rude to them, but you know Aradia. She just likes to keep track of time, is all, and you know that everything’s fine when she smiles at you and turns to head back up the stairs.

Then she shrieks. You see her throw a punch, and by the time you turn you don’t know whether to fall over laughing or gibber in terror because there is an extremely shocked Drider behind you poking at a split lip. You see other shapes moving behind it, shapes with bulbous bodies and too many spindly legs, and you decide that utter blood-chilling dread probably outweighs amusement.

The Drider in front of you hisses and stretches her legs out; she’s big enough to fill the entire exit to the narrow tunnel, trapping you between her and the hole. Mind skipping from one to the other, you wonder which death would hurt less.

“So, you came back,” says Karkat, squeezing past you to stand in front of the Drider. He folds his arms across his chest and glares up at her, seemingly unimpressed by eight or nine feet of arachnoid abomination looming over him. “What pathetic shitheap of an excuse for scaring us half to death are you wheeling out this time?”

“Sss… hit me…” the Drider says, glaring past Karkat at Aradia.

Karkat unfolds one arm and snaps his fingers; you catch him twitch when the Drider’s head swings back around to hover close to his. “Yes, she fucking hit you. It’s called good reflexes, bugbait, and if you’re going to make a habit of sneaking up on people then you should get used to it! Now what the fuck do you want?”

The Drider casts one last glare at Aradia, then focuses on Karkat. Her brother. Now that there’s light and they’re close, you can see the family resemblance clearly, and it’s eerie as fuck.

“Found them,” she says, and you swear to all the Gods that she sounds smug. “Found the Sseer and the Ssylph and the dwarvess that are not for food.” It bares its fangs; you aren't sure if that's a smile or a snarl. “Found a sskinny sstinky one, misssess you.”

Karkat blinks. “...Gamzee? Terezi? They're alive?” He points a finger back at Jade. “Was there another one, like her?”

“Yess,” the Drider says, and this time it's definitely a smile. “Lookss like a good mate, but no mannerss. Nexsst time I will usse more than pheremoness...”

Karkat slaps a palm into his forehead. “That is the single most disgusting thing I have ever heard in my entire life, and I've spent my whole life exposed to sickening concepts. Jade, I'm sorry to break it to you, but your brother for some incomprehensible reason is irresistibly attractive to three-quarters of all known beings, a category which apparently includes Driders. If you intend to spend much time with him, I suggest investing in a really big fucking stick to beat off his admirers.”

“My gosh, really?” says Thyri, brightening. “I'd always worried about his love life. Glad to hear my little man has some admirers!”

“Mom!” Bryn says, shaking her head. “He always had admirers back home! He's just bloody oblivious!”

Thyri frowns. “Hmm, that does sound like him.” She steps forward and points a finger at the Drider. “You'd better be planning to show us where they are, young lady!”

The Drider tilts her head. “Sshow you?”

“YES!” shout half your party at once. The Drider smirks.

“Thiss way,” she says, and you duck as she suddenly rushes towards you. You stay ducked for quite some time when her fellow monsters follow her, hunkered down and hoping that none of the legs you can hear clicking against rock overhead accidentally brush against you. You hear Bec whimpering, and Jade whispering reassurances, and feel silently grateful that none of you are actively afraid of spiders.

When the rush stops and you all stand again, you find that they've not only passed you, but have crossed the hole in the stairs.

“Nice move, dumbasses,” says Karkat, jabbing a finger at the hole. “How are we meant to follow you across that?”

The look on the Drider's faces is downright comical, and you actually do laugh at their confusion while everyone glares at you. It takes you a minute or two to get it under control, and you nearly start again when the lead Drider starts to smile like she's really, really proud of something.

“Jumpss it?” she says, once you've calmed down enough to breathe properly again. Karkat slaps a hand into his face again.

“You are officially banned from making plans any more,” he tells her. “I can't say I'm surprised, since you're literally beetle-brained, but as terrifying shadow monsters go you're about as intimidating as a tuft of fluff right now.”

The response is some angry spider-chatter, but you are too distracted to worry about Karkat winding up his estranged man-eating family. Aradia is staring at the hole in the stairs and grinning, and you know that as ideas go that's a terrible, terrible start.

“No way,” you tell her. “Whatever you're thinking, it'th a bad idea and I'm not doing it.”

She turns the grin on you, and you shudder, because you know that look and you never want to see it. It's not a happy smile, exactly; you know that if the world caught fire, and all the survivors were standing on the top of one rock waiting to die, that would be the look Aradia wore when the fire started climbing.

Okay, it's a shitty metaphor, but basically that smile is proof that you're not the only messed-up one of the two of you and you _hate_ that reminder.

“I was just thinking, why not jump?” she says, and now everyone else is looking at her too. “With a little help, I mean.”

There is arguing after that; you and Karkat are very firmly on the side of _this is completely fucking mental, let's not,_ but Aradia is adamant about the time and Jade and the dwarves keep fretting about their godsdamned relative. Bec you think is on your side, but even when you point this out you're outvoted.

On the plus side, the Driders agree to do something helpful that means you probably won't end up with someone dying. They can't spin webs as per the original suggestion, but they are large enough to brace themselves on the wall, and a couple of them scuttle down to catch anyone who drops. Now if you could only convince yourself that they're not planning to eat any of you, that would be great.

“Ready for this?” asks Karkat, his mouth a grim line.

“Fuck, no,” you reply, then turn your head as something flashes green-gold behind you. “What...?”

Jade grins up at you all, her eyes shimmering with odd reflections, and although nothing about her has changed she somehow looks more wolfish. “Excuse us!” she says, and charges down the stairs. You flatten yourself against the wall just in time- how is she going so fast?- as the druid girl streaks past you, followed closely by a blur of grey fur. They launch without even breaking stride, and nothing elven should be able to leap like that but she does, landing on the other side with Bec close behind her and beaming back at you with her tongue lolling out.

“I'll help catch people!” she shouts back over the fifteen feet of empty air, before turning and making a whuffing noise to Bec that sends him reluctantly backing up towards the Driders. Definitely some magic involved, then.

“Alright,” says Karkat, pushing himself off the opposite wall where he had flattened. “Dwarves first. You look about as aerodynamic as a pair of bricks, so the more hands we've got to push you off the better.”

“Right ho,” says Bryn, looking pale. She steps up to the edge and peers over it; you grab her arm as she sways.

“Go get a run-up,” you suggest. You're expecting some argument- actual facts aside, most people don't expect spellcasters to be any good at physical stuff- but instead she just looks at you blankly for a moment before nodding and retreating up the stairs. You and Karkat take up positions either side of the edge, ready to grab and lift and throw for a couple of inches extra on her jump.

Bryn screams as she charges towards you, feet pounding down the rock and arms flailing in the most ungainly way you've ever seen anyone move. She hurtles right up to the edge, but before you can give her a boost she flinches back. Her feet go out from under her and she skids the last couple of feet, coming to a halt with her lower legs over the precipace.

Karkat groans as she scrambles back. You get the sentiment, but Thyri just pats her daughter on the shoulder.

“Try again, dear,” she says. Bryn nods and stomps back up the stairs, face set like stone. Famous dwarven stubbornness, you suppose; you brace again, but no amount of preparation could prepare you for the weight of her, or the awkwardness of the angle. You don't think you or Karkat help at all, but fortunately Bryn's second attempt is actually a decent jump. She starts to fall ever so slightly short, but just as you think she's about to become Drider food- actually, she's heavy enough that she might crush them on the way down- Jade is there, catching her and dragging her up on the other side. It doesn't look possible, a fragile elf hauling a fully kitted dwarf up, but it happens and you all let out sighs of relief.

Thyri is up next, and although you fluff the boost against Karkat seems to have the hang of it. It's a good thing; she might not have flinched, but Thyri isn't as athletic as her daughter, and Bryn almost falls off the other side reaching out to catch her mother. Between her and Jade Thyri is dragged safely up, and then there's only three of you left.

“See you on the other side,” says Aradia, winking at you before backing up for her run-up. You're starting to get used to messing up, but with Karkat's help she lands squarely on the other side, no catching required. You and Karkat are the only ones left, and he nods towards the top of the stairs.

“You first,” he says. “Like fuck am I trusting your weedy ass to throw me.”

“Like you wouldn't drop me with thothe thtring armth,” you reply. Actually he's got pretty muscular arms, but like the hells are you telling him that. You swagger up to the top of the stairs and pause to smirk at him.

“You watching, KK?”

“GET A FUCKING MOVE ON, ASSHOLE!”

Well, if you're about to die, then you'll die laughing. You charge down the steps, letting gravity add to your momentum, telling yourself that it's fine, everyone's working to get you across.

You don't want their help, though. You don't want to need it.

Karkat's hands are firmer than you're expecting, a brief passing push that adds a little extra energy to your leap. Time slows and you hang in the air, flying over two Driders and surrounded by nothing. It feels familiar, somehow.

Then you're landing, and your jump isn't just good, it's fucking amazing because you've literally gone right over the heads of everyone waiting to catch you. Even the bruises from smacking into the stairs on the other side don't phase you as you sit up, grinning, and let Aradia give you a tight squeeze.

Karkat's jump is pretty anticlimactic after that, although you'd admit that if it wasn't for your leap it would have been fucking impressive. He lands better than you, and brushes dust off as he stands up and turns back to face the Driders.

“Where next?” he asks.

You follow them down the stairs, winding deeper and deeper into the mountains. You can't turn back, and there are no side-tunnels or routes to escape. You are acutely aware of this because next to you Karkat is keeping up a constant stream of grim possibilities, mostly centring around how you might all be walking into some sort of spider nest. He's throwing up a whole horror show of images, a cave full of paralysed and bound victims being taken away one by one to be consumed, all of you joining them. Logically, you know that the Driders could easily have killed or captured you already if that was what they wanted. But fuck, they're Driders. They probably don't even think like you do.

Fingers running across the Amulet, you wonder why you keep making these terrible decisions. Then the Driders squeeze through a narrow doorway and you follow out onto a ledge that shows you something incredible.

Your eyes go round at the sight of it, a bottomless chasm studded with brilliant points of light. They're on the walls around you, glowing gemstones, and you can almost taste the deep, earthy magic in the air. Looking around, you see the ledges connecting to doors and tunnels, the carven arches that show these aren't natural caves any more. Beside you Aradia is chattering about mines and Drow and history and a load of other stuff that you don't give a shit about right now, because holy _fuck_ that magic. She has to be feeling it too, but it's intoxicating; some of it feels worked and bespelled, but most of it is just seeping out of the rock and earth. You are fairly certain that you couldn't knock a pebble loose in this place, let alone bring the roof down. There must be spells holding those mine tunnels secure- you can feel the stability in the rock.

Karkat is rubbing his arms and looking seriously uncomfortable. “Are we done fucking sightseeing yet?” he snaps, and the Driders chitter. You look over at Aradia, who casts one more regretful look at the cave.

“Lead on,” she says, and your group starts moving again. You duck into one of the other tunnels, no longer headed downwards, and as you step into the narrow passage you take one last look back at the glittering walls behind you.

One day, you promise yourself, you are going to come back here and really investigate that well of magic.

### Suggestions Used

 _Nikotehfox -_ Karkat: find a temporary replacement for your diary--I mean journal 

_Deshah -_ Karkat: Record your dreams on whatever available paper there is. Flip Sollux off when he teases you about it.

 _Deshah -_ Sollux and Karkat: Act like you know eachother. Be creeped out.

 _J-Rook -_ Karkat: accidently revile that Gamzee is marked by the Bard to someone you barely know in this life. Again!!!!!!

 _Sandi -_ Older dwarf lady: See why Karkat was giving Gamzee pesh and stop holding it against Karkat since he really wasn't using it, but still refuse to give them back any and suggest more wholesome alternatives.

 _Nikotehfox -_ Karkat: Try not to bang your head against the wall in response to these obnoxiously optimistic people.

 _ttd0000 -_ Aradia: Constantly refer to Karkat as Stormy and Rose as Mist for reasons you don't fully understand.

 _J-Rook -_ Jade/Aradia: Tell Karkat about the cave of twenty god's you found. Especially about how ridiculously his patron god was depicted and/or dressed.

 _Ms Arano -_ Sollux: examine artifact

 _nanrea -_ Sollux: Reflect on the wisdom of swearing an oath to some ghost based just on him being mildly threatening to some shouty short drow.

 _Ryo Hoshi -_ Sollux: Don't fuck that oath up!

 _Deshah -_ Karkat: Take a piruetic flip off the handle. Protest that your shit remains unflipped. It is so unflipped, you don't even know.

 _Fidonia -_ Jade: tease Karkat endlessly about what a grumpy asshole he is.

 _Fidonia -_ Sollux: make sure to secure your title as Grumpiest of Assholes. it is a goddamn art form and you are the sole master of it.

 _UDMonk -_ Sollux: Talk to Karkat. Or swear at him. Loudly. It's basically the same thing, right?

 _UDMonk -_ Karkat: Be wonderfully in character. Also swear loudly.

 _UDMonk -_ Aradia: Recognise that Sollux is having fun with Karkat, even if it looks like they're mortal enemies. Feel happy for him!

 _UDMonk -_ Jade: Heave a withering sigh at their loud argument. Fail to keep calm.

 _Ms Arano -_ Jade: Nip future freak outs from the high strung drow in the bud. That is so counter survival it simply cannot go on.

 _ttd0000 -_ Jade: Convince Sollux and/or Karkat of the therapeutic qualities of petting a giant wolf.

 _RandomGal -_ Sollux: Watch the wolf. There's something weird about it...

 _Aryashi -_ Bec: Be a Good Dog and a Best Friend

 _nanrea -_ Jade: Now that you've got all that settled, start wondering what the Driders meant when they called Karkat their broodblood brother.

 _RubieDragon -_ Jade: Be confused.

 _nanrea -_ Kanaya or Sollux: See the familial resemblance between some of the driders and Karkat.

 _nanrea -_ Karkat: Be mystified by that when Jade brings up the broodblood thing to you. Mystified and suitably creeped out.

 _Sandi -_ Karkat: Find out what the driders meant when they called you their broodblood brother

 _Emiko842 -_ Karkat: why dose this drider look so much like your mother?

 _1JakoftheMoon1 -_ Karkat: Try to make a joke in good taste. Fail horribly.

 _nanrea -_ Terezi, Kanaya or Karkat: explain that shit in painfully clear detail to the ignorant and unsympathetic surface dwellers in a way that makes everybody feel bad because that is some kind of terrible that no one should have to deal with AND YOU ARE GOING TO MAKE THAT EXPLICITLY CLEAR

 _J-Rook -_ Sollux: Think about Drider origins,(and your own) get vary quiet.

 _sionnachsSkulk –_ Sollux: be more d00med the closer you get to Golgesi

 _Scedasticity -_ Sollux: Have another flashback, but tell us what's going on this time.

 _ttd0000 -_ Aradia: Keep Sollux sane through terrible experience.

 _nanrea -_ Aradia: Warn Sollux about the stairs

 _tiresiasGuidance -_ Aradia: Keep track of time, then wonder if you'll end up running late because neither of the groups your meeting is.

 _1JakoftheMoon1 -_ Aradia: Punch a drider. In the face.

 _Sandi -_ Driders: Help Karkat

 _ttd0000 -_ Sister Red-Eyes: Wonder why the cute surface elf didn't respond to your flirtations. It's like elves can't smell pheromones or something. So rude.

 _Wizardtaytays -_ Driders: show your new big bwother where his friends are

 _Massivedragon -_ Aradia: Grin creepily at an inappropiate time

 _Darwin G'wein -_ Karkat: Trust your new companions as far as you can throw them. And then proceed to throw them very far indeed.

 _Ryo Hoshi -_ Karkat: Have something go right. End up more paranoid.

 _Darwin G'wein -_ Sollux: Find a cave that you can't collapse no matter how hard you accidentally try.

 _WhiteTiger1221 -_ Aradia: Become interested in Drow architecture and history during your trip to Golgesi

[System Notes (on Tumblr)](http://celynbrum.tumblr.com/post/50815432437/lodad-system-notes-chapter-58)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I'm currently gearing up for Awesome Stuff, so if people could be careful with their suggestions that'd be great. Anything that locks any particular group into their current state, or which dictates a particular state in the near-future, is likely to get chucked out as incompatible. YOU ARE WARNED!


	59. -- THE MAID OF LIFE --

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Hero point votes:**  
>  Terezi 3  
> Kanaya 3  
> Aradia 1  
> Gamzee 1  
> A DRAW HAS OCCURRED! D20 Roll - Odds for Kanaya, Evens for Terezi  
> ON A ROLL OF 15, KANAYA GAINS ONE HERO POINT!  
> Voting now open for the next Hero Point award: one person will get one after three chapters.
> 
>  **Current Hero Points:**  
>  John 3/5, Rose 3/5, Dave 1/3, Jade 1/3  
> Karkat 2/5, Gamzee 1/3, Terezi 1/5  
> Sollux 1/3, Aradia 1/3, Kanaya 2/5  
> Jane 2/5, Jake 1/5, Roxy 2/3, **Dirk 3/3**

## THE MAID OF LIFE

[](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/o049zo1vjotcws1/Maid%20of%20Life.png?dl=0)   
_Great Healer, Lady Brighteyes, Nana Sprightly, Hearthwarden_

ALIGNMENT: Lawful Good

PORTFOLIO: Healing, Practicality, Investigation, Honesty

DOMAINS: Community (Family), Healing (), Good (), Knowledge (Thought), Trickery (), Nobility ()

FAVOURED WEAPON: Trident

THE MAID OF LIFE is a goddess who cares for others in the most practical sense of the word, the healer of the sick, the provider for the hungry, and the investigator of mysteries who promotes healthy scepticism along with the preservation of others.

HISTORY  
Since the beginning of the world and in every land upon it, worshippers of the Maid of Life have held their faith. Her history is no tale of great deeds and derring-do; rather, she is a goddess known for reliability and pragmatism, and for this she is beloved. Yet for all that she is held to be a benevolent goddess, her wrath is fearsome, and it is not without cause that she is known as both the cornerstone and defender of civilisations.

PANTHEONS AND RELATIONSHIPS  
The Maid of Life appears in the worship of two different pantheons as well as individually.

In the PANTHEON OF LIGHT, she is considered to be the goddess who created the different peoples of the world and the one who introduced civilisation. A close relative of the HEIR OF BREATH, she advises him often and is the one who brings the interests of mortals before the gods, and is often asked for intercession. She is close friends with the ROGUE OF VOID and the two of them are known to be pranksters. In fact, she is often thought to be involved in an ongoing campaign of tricks against the leader of the pantheon.

As one of the REBORN GODS, she is once again the creator of life, and is often shown in the role of leader- although she sometimes shares this with the PRINCE OF HEART. In these tales, she often seeks romance with her brother, the PAGE OF HOPE, although whether or not she is successful is variable. A more serious goddess in this pantheon, she is fearful in rage and determined in search of truths.

Alone, she is sometimes a trickster and sometimes the patron of Watchmen and Investigators in addition to her usual roles of creator and healer. She usually maintains close ties to other deities, but likewise falls out with them through their own actions, in particular the PAGE OF HOPE, the PRINCE OF HEART and the ROGUE OF VOID. Her relationship with the BARD OF RAGE is noteworthy for the fact that he often appears to be stalking her through her legends, but in general her antagonists are more likely to be demons within or without than her fellow deities.

As an antagonist to other pantheons or deities, she is unusual in that she appears rarely and almost never as herself. Her villainous roles are restricted to the pattern of cats-paw and dupe, the unwitting advocate of evil or the one who councils fairness and due process when immediate action was called for.

APPEARANCE AND EMISSARIES  
The Maid of Life can be depicted either as a young maiden or an old crone, and is often dressed either in a man's clothes or else in the garb of a professional healer. Generally shown as an aasimar, a Tuatha or a Hodekin, she is always shown under a bright light but is often surrounded by shadow. Drawings showing her with malicious intent often cover her hands in blood.

SERVANTS  
The Maid often favours working animals and those that live around humans, but she does not seem to have any particular preferences.

_The Midnight Watch_  
A rumour to most and a myth amongst those who try to solve crimes, these strange shadowy figures are said to lend aid to an investigation when all hope seems lost. Dark and silent, their faces shaded by hats, they will lead the faithful to some vital clue that might otherwise be overlooked.

_Granny Oakenstaff_  
Known in all countries where the Maid is worshipped by variations and translations of the same name, this ragged and mischievous old lady is said to be the answer to the prayers of the desperate. Some say she was once a cleric of the Maid, others that she was a good-hearted healer who died of illness and was blessed in death, but in all versions she comes to the homes of the dying and heals them if treated with politeness, before vanishing with the dawn. Never in these stories is her identity realised before she is already gone.

_The Kinbound Order_  
This organisation knows no borders and fears no authority save its goddess. One of the few places where Paladins of the Maid can be found, these people travel the world to offer aid to those in need. They often recruit from those they help, filling their preceptories with those who need a purpose or a home, and consider themselves brothers and sisters no matter where they may hail from. In some lands, this organisation is considered somewhat sinister- and indeed, where one member of the Order falls from grace, most likely their entire preceptory has fallen with them.

CHURCH  
Temples of the Maid can be found in most communities except for those where her faith is not held. When a temple cannot be built, shrines are common. Temples of the PANTHEON OF LIGHT report to a chief temple in Porthaven, while the REBORN GODS are centred in the city of Akatoll. Independent temples are just as common, but curiously enough many of the chapels and shrines hosted by guardhouses and investigators act in loose kinship, even when they are theoretically allied to different temples.

WORSHIPPERS AND CLERGY  
Clerics of the Maid of Life are Lawful Good, Neutral Good, or Lawful Neutral.

Followers of the Maid are drawn from all walks of life, but the most devoted tend to be healers, midwives, teachers and law enforcers. There are also a sizeable contingent of her followers drawn from those who have been aided by her Church in their time of need.

The clergy of the Maid are most commonly Clerics and Inquisitors; she rarely chooses an Oracle, and those with the single-minded militant devotion of a Paladin are rarely drawn to her service.

TEMPLES AND SHRINES  
Temples to the Maid of Life are usually designed to serve as hospitals, hospices and schools, with multiple small shrines for worship. Places for offerings and physical prayers are common, in particular pools, but privacy for the act of prayer is valued. Open and airy courtyards are typical of larger temples, and almost all will have a medicinal herb garden.

HOLY TEXTS  
The holy books of the Church of Life are more often than not manuals; manuals of herbs, of medicine, of investigative technique- you name a means of helping others and the holy scholars of the Church have prepared a library of such tomes. Interspersed with these are books of tales, both of the works of the Maid through her followers and of her interactions with the other gods.

_Nana's Daunting Text Of Magical Frivolity And Practical Japery_  
Whilst on the surface this appears to be little more than a book of practical jokes, slight variations on the text have been used since time immemorial to train neophyte clerics of the Maid. The techniques, practices and spells laid out in this work actually form a solid groundwork in both spellcasting and the cultivation of an inquisitive mind, and as the healers always say, laughter is the best medicine.

_The Mystery Scrolls_  
Every temple has at least one of these scrolls, and larger houses of worship can often fill rooms with them. They contain mystery stories, whether medical, criminal or otherwise, and whilst engaging for the layperson for the clergy they are an invitation to work out the culprit before the answer is revealed. In some scrolls, no answer is revealed at all, leading to centuries of debate as to the answer.

HOLIDAYS  
The church of the Maid assists in the celebration of recovery from injury or illness along with reunions of old friends or family, in addition to its own holy days.

_First Harvest_  
Held when the first harvest of the year is brought in, this day is marked by feasting and offerings of baked goods.

_The Day Of Giving_  
Exactly what it says, this day near the end of autumn is essentially a large charity drive. There are usually festivities and games to give reasons to donate. Interestingly, it is normal for a particular play to be put on at this time, in which the PRINCE OF HEART and the Maid herself struggle with one another to win the heart of the PAGE OF HOPE. This is one of the main sources for her apparent legendary attraction to him, and it is considered important that in the end she and the Prince find their friendship more valuable than their desires.

_Sprite Hunt_  
A prolonged festival held in the spring and associated more with the REBORN GODS than the PANTHEON OF LIGHT, this day is marked by games in which one person or group of people(the Sprite) set up a gauntlet of traps and tricks, which the rest of their family or community must overcome to capture them. Pretending to “rob” the victims of the traps for charitable purposes is the norm, and the day usually ends in a parade or party.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, guys, two things to say here this week.
> 
> 1) Counter to my previous informal policy of replying to every comment I get, I am now instituting a policy whereby I won't reply to your comment if it has nothing but suggestions and a "cool chapter bro" remark. This is because I literally cannot think of anything to say in response to such comments and there are only so many times I can type "thanks for the input! :)" before I want to smash my keyboard and run screaming to the hills.
> 
> 2) I lost my temper last week and I am now concerned that people might misunderstand how I get angry. Basically, I get angry REALLY easily and with incredible frequency, but I get angry at events, not people. So I may be raging furious at something you've done, but I can say with 95% certainty that I am not mad at you, and will probably forgive you entirely and without reservation the second I stop being furious. That will take about a minute from the moment I am done ranting about the event that has enraged me. I can count the number of people I have genuinely disliked in my life on one hand and most of them I've gotten to know better over time and started liking.
> 
> Also I mostly yell at people I either like or want to like, which is counter-intuitive but I guess it just sort of happens that way. Please don't let me scare you, I just need a good angry rant now and again, and I may bark a great deal but I **don't** bite in anger.


	60. ==> Dave: Play With Your New Sword

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Hero point votes:**  
>  John 1  
> Terezi 1. 
> 
> **Current Hero Points:**  
>  John 3/5, Rose 3/5, Dave 1/3, Jade 1/3  
> Karkat 2/5, Gamzee 1/3, Terezi 1/5  
> Sollux 1/3, Aradia 1/3, Kanaya 2/5  
> Jane 2/5, Jake 1/5, Roxy 2/3, Dirk **3/3**

## ==> Dave: Play With Your New Sword

You have a magic sword.

You have a _magic fucking sword._

This is basically the most badass thing you will ever own in your entire life. Screw Dirk and his pussy-footing objections because you have a _magic goddamned sword_ and you are going to enjoy that fact forever.

Several pieces of innocent foliage become casualties to your experimental two-handed swings. You are just barely managing to repress the urge to make swooshing noises with your mouth, and only because you are making them with your blade. Your magical blade. Holy sweet fuck you have a magical blade. This is never getting old.

John is walking along behind you, watching you attack the greenery and grinning like a loon. “So does it do anything else?” he asks. “Other than just repair itself, I mean.”

You glance back over your shoulder to deliver a suitably dispassionate stare, catching a flash of orange from some bird or something overhead. “John, this is a weapon crafted to wield the arcane energies that underpin reality and delivered to me by mysterious and impossible means. Shit like this gets forged in dragonfire and starlight; there are prophecies etched in stone tablets the size of fucking houses about my illustrious ownership of this blade. Me and Caliburn here are gonna topple dynasties and slay demons, and you wanna know what cool tricks it can do?”

John shrugs. “Yeah, pretty much.”

You examine your sword. “Fucked if I know, dude. I only just got it.” You heft the sword in one hand; its balance is way forwards, almost as if it was designed to have half the blade missing.

“It’s weird,” says Roxy; she's looking worryingly pale, and you jump a little when her chin rests on your shoulder. “I’m way not an expert on enchanted junk, but I do know it’s gotta be quality stuff. That sword is kinda shitty for being magic.”

You cover the hilt of your sword with one hand, pressing your palm into the stylised gear worked into it in gold. “Shh, Caliburn, don’t listen to the mean ol’ witch. You are clearly beautiful beyond the dreams of mortal men.”

Roxy snorts and gives you a punch in the shoulder. You think it’s meant to be gentle, but for a scholar she’s got a mean right hook on her and you think it’ll probably bruise. “Not the ornamenty bits, stupid, I mean how it’s all breakable and junk.” She sighs and rubs her head, smearing dusty brown tree-dirt with the thin film of sweat covering her skin. “Urgh. I feel like ass. Stupid not drinking.”

From up ahead, your Halfling guide turns back to stare at her in confusion. “Not drinking? You’ve been at that hip flask all morning, lady!”

Roxy sticks her tongue out at Adel. “Well, duh!” she says. “I gotta drink somethin’ or I’ll be all-“ She pulls a cross-eyed, limp-necked "dead!" face, then straightens up and winks. “Baby steps, at least until we find a proper healer.”

“Is that a real thing?”

“Oh yeah, totes,” says Roxy, looking at you. You don’t get why, it’s not like you said it. “I found it out from…” her voice trails off. “Huh. Well, wherever. It’s a real thing.” She shrugs. “Anyways, like was saying, it’s critically weird that your sword is all breakable, and then full of fixing-stuff magic. Seems like a whole lot of effort for not much gain.”

“Maybe breaking it is the whole idea,” suggests John. “Maybe it’s a joke sword.”

All three of you, Adel included, pause to give him a look that suggests just how ridiculous that idea is.

“Who would spend a king’s fortune to make a joke sword?” asks the Halfling. John grins at you, and you let your lip twitch in response. You both know what you’d get up to if you had that kind of money, and joke swords would be the least of it.

“It’s a shame Jane’s seen it work,” your friend says, with a wistful glance at Caliburn. “We could’ve had it shatter while you were sparring her, otherwise. I dunno, maybe we could disguise you as the other you she met and you can pretend to be him? That might be funny.”

Roxy giggles. “Oh, my gods, you guys are so adorbs with your pranking!”

“It is not adorable!” John says, eyes widening. “It’s a matter of family honour, I’ll have you know!”

You snort. “Your family honour has left you wearing a pink shirt into battle.”

“Lightish red!” says John. “Really! If you look close, it’s not pink at all!”

Roxy starts sniggering, and you shake your head. “It’s sad how delusional you’re becoming, John. Clearly the stress of all these gentle strolls through the forest is getting to you. Although, now I think about it, you must have been cracked all along to get that huge man-crush on Nicholas Cage.”

“Hey!” John shoves you gently in the back, sending you staggering forward a couple of steps. “You take that back! Nicholas Cage is the greatest thespian ever to walk the stage and you know it!”

“Only because the stage immolated itself in shame after his opening performance,” you retort, enjoying the familiarity of the old argument. You and John have been having it ever since you first saw the legendary actor at work, three years ago, and speaking as a professional entertainer you were not impressed. The guy was more wooden than the boards he was standing on.

“Who is Nicholas Cage?” asks Adel. “The name sounds familiar.”

“Well yeah, you’ve heard of him. He’s the most famous theatre actor of the age,” says John, eyes misting over as he talks about his idol. “I heard he’s played to every court on the coast!”

“I heard he was a talentless waste of space,” you retort. “No way am I letting you talk him up to Adel here; can’t let you dirty up his pure and unsullied mind with the crap you’re peddling.”

“I think you’re just jealous,” says John, grinning at you like he’s already won. “You wish you were as talented and successful as Cage!”

“I think I just threw up in my mouth,” you say, having done no such thing. “No self-respecting Phooka would ever be jealous of that complete sucking void of talent.”

“Nah, they’d just stick to stealing everything that wasn’t nailed down, hatchlings and babies included.”

You stiffen and turn. It takes everything you have to keep the shock off your face. “What. The _fuck._ Did you just say?”

John looks at you, blue eyes wide like he didn’t just call your family a gang of kidnappers. Not that you care when people say that or anything, and they say it to you all the time because why the fuck else would a good aasimar boy like you be raised by the clans? But John knows, he fucking _knows_ that you and Dirk were ditched by whatever pathetic excuse for blood relatives you once had, and he _knows_ that you’re so fed up of hearing that shit about your family that you even got bored of laughing at how dumb it was. And it is dumb. He’s fucking dumb for saying it and it’s funny more than anything.

Okay, maybe you want to punch him in the face a little. Or a lot.

“I didn’t say anything! I don’t know where that came from!” John says.

“Yeah, good one,” you tell him. “Come on, dude, I was looking right at Adel and that wasn’t Roxy’s voice. Are you saying I trash-talked _myself?”_

John shakes his head, red appearing on his cheeks. You don’t know if it’s embarrassment or anger. “Why would I do that? You’re my friend!”

“Guys…” says Roxy. You ignore her, taking a step towards John and tightening your grip on the sword.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought,” you say.

John’s eyes narrow. “Quit being a dick.”

“Make me,” you say.

“Fine!” John reaches for his hammer, but is stopped by Roxy grabbing his wrist. Her other hand wraps around your arm and she tugs at the two of you, spinning you round to face her.

“Oh, my gods, will you guys just _pay attention!”_ she shouts. She drops you both and nods past you; you and John turn your heads. It doesn’t take you long to spot what she’s looking at.

“The fuck is that?” you ask, staring at the weird orange bird perched on a branch overhead.

“A bird,” says John, and you punch him hard in the shoulder for being an asshole. The bird seems to like it, making a noise that sounds like cawing laughter while John rubs his arm and glares at you.

“Phooka! Phooka! Nailed down babies!” it croaks, in a surprisingly elf- or aasimar-like voice. You suddenly feel like a complete fucking idiot.

“Nice sense of humour, you feathery prick,” you tell the bird.

“Prick!” the bird replies, hopping gleefully along the branch as you start to stride off. “Prick! Prick!”

John bursts out laughing, and Roxy joins in with some giggles. Even Adel is smirking.

“My new best friend,” you comment, striding away from the hideously orange bird. It hops after you, still screaming obscenities.

“It's only learning what you say to it,” said John. He looks up at the feathery asshole. “Caw! Caw, caw!”

They're surprisingly accurate-sounding calls, and you roll your eyes when the bird takes them as a challenge and starts to caw back even more loudly.

“Nice going, Warden,” you say. John just snickers and keeps making godawful bird noises. You look around for allies, and spot Roxy rubbing her eyes.

“Dude, give it a rest,” you say. “Your girlfriend has a headache.”

“She's not my girlfriend!” John says, reflexively.

Roxy glares at him. “But I do have a headache.” She takes a very pointed swig from the flask she's been clinging to since last night, and John blushes.

You don't really know or care what awkward doofus thing they've got going, so you take advantage of the moment to bring the conversation back to your current favourite topic: your sword. “So, what do you reckon I can do with a sword that I can break as many times as I want?”

“Trade it in for a better one?” John suggests, grinning again.

“Nope, not how it works,” you tell him. “This was awarded to me specifically; I can't just trade it in. If I was meant to have something else then I wouldn't have been given this one, would I? Try to think, John.” You examine the sword more closely. “You know, I've had swords break in use before. You can do a lot of damage with a blade that breaks inside someone.”

“So learn to break it on purpose?” says Roxy. You nod, and she looks thoughtful. “If that's what it's for, maybe it does other things. Like, does it sharpen itself when it repairs?”

“I dunno,” you say, regarding your sword again.

“You should test it,” Roxy says. “Break it on some stuff and see what happens.”

You consider the idea and file it away for later use. “Yeah, when I've got time.”

“We're here,” says Adel, stopping ahead of you. He nods towards the undergrowth ahead. “If we go any further, the kobold patrols will see us. You should probably go ahead.”

“Thanks, man,” you say, as John steps ahead of you. Your small group heads cautiously onwards, treading softly and looking for the guards before they spot you.

“PRICK!”

You jump and curse the bird, but it's too late. Suddenly the forest has sprouted kobolds, and they're all holding spears on you and looking very uncertain.

John raises his hands, and the rest of you follow suit. “Um, hey,” he says, smiling at them. “We came back? And we have a plan to help!”

The bushes rustle as one of the kobolds steps forwards; you recognise the War Leader, Nakkonik, as he gives Adel a suspicious look. “You bring Tree-Man.”

“Yeah,” you say, your mouth surprisingly dry. “You gonna invite us in to explain ourselves, or not?”

Nakkonik narrows his eyes at you, then lets out a sharp nak. His warriors vanish back into the undergrowth, but you have no doubt that they're going to be stalking you all the way. Their leader gives a sharp jerk of his head to tell you to follow, and strides off into the bushes.

The going to the cave is easier on Adel than you, John and Roxy. He's of a similar height to the kobold, and is thus not susceptible to branches at head-height in the same way. It's a different path than the one you took on the way out, but eventually you pop out in front of the familiar cave entrance, sharpened stakes looking completely insufficient defence against an impending lycanthrope attack.

You pass through the barricade under a horde of silent, watchful eyes, and find yourself hoping that your weird display the other day made you as popular as you think you are.

“Prick!”

“Cut that the fuck out!” you shout at the bird, ignoring the sniggering from nearby.

As soon as you enter the inner cave, John lets out a yell of delight and runs past you towards a small, yellow-scaled kobold. To your amazement, she responds by raising her arms to be lifted up and spun around; you have no fucking clue how he managed to pick “Casey” out from all the other kobold kids, but you’re pretty sure none of the others would be so enthusiastic to run into him again.

The fact that John’s adopted kobold is the only one who seems glad to see you has definitely not escaped your notice. Another yellow kobold is hovering near him, clearly wanting to copy all the other parents who have grabbed their children close, and there are a lot of weapons being raised. Adel takes a half-step behind you, and a dozen beady eyes track him. You think again about the sun, already tipping down towards the horizon, and wonder if there’s any chance of you getting your little lizard buddies to safety before sundown.

John, still holding Casey up with one arm, beams at the assembled mass of frightened kobolds. “Hi!” he says, grinning like a loon. “So, good news! We found the Hidden Ones, and they’re just as worried about the purge thing as you are, and they’ve agreed that everyone who’s too young or too old or too weak to fight can stay safe with them for the night!”

His announcement is met with absolutely no deafening delight. You roll your eyes and look around for the old kobold you remember taking charge of things last time. The elder spots you searching at the same time as you see them, and responds by pointing their staff at you, nakking furiously. War Leader Nakkonik steps up and starts to translate.

“Foolish!” he shouts. Behind you, you hear the orange bird learning a new word and seemingly loving it. “Cannot trust Tree-Men! You want us send our clan to die, nak-nak!”

John looks shocked by the accusation, but Roxy doesn’t look any more surprised than you feel. Hells, you haven’t even managed to persuade yourself that they aren’t just jumping out of the frying pan and into the fire here. You just thought the Halflings looked more friendly than your average flesh-rending moon-fuelled horror of nature.

“No, it’s not like that at all!” says John. He turns to Adel. “Tell them!”

Adel glares past him at the kobold elder. “Are you completely barmy?” he asks John. “They’re not going to listen to me!”

“But- but-“

You pat John on the arm. “Sorry to break it to you, dude, but real life ain’t like a stage play. You don’t get to reveal the big misunderstanding and have everyone suddenly be bosom companions after. Especially when they’re lizards and don’t actually have bosoms.”

“But…” John looks down at Casey, his face a perfect picture of misery. The little kobold glubs and pats his face with a tiny scaly hand; you have to admit, it is fairly cute. “We can’t protect everyone here,” he says. “We can’t just give up on them!”

“No shit,” you say. “I got this. Chill and watch the master at work.” You turn back to the kobold elder. “Hey, Nak-man, that big epic bit of rhyming I did last time I was here, you remember that story?”

The red-scaled kobold nods. “Yes! We remember always, nak!”

“Alright, so call me out on this if I’m wrong, but your gods all taught you something, right? Law from the Dragon’s Daughter, survival from the Outcast, cleverness from the Skydancer and fighting from the Tick-Tock man, right?”

“Nak!”

“I’m just gonna assume that was yes.” You pause, and take a step forwards, theatrically unlacing your wristguard and peeling back your sleeve to show off the cog-shaped mark on your skin. You raise your arm, showing it around to the kobold crowd. “Are you checking this out? Are you? Do you think the Tick-Tock Man just goes around choosing anyone or do you think maybe I know something about fighting?” You turn to John, who hastily shoves up his own sleeve to display the Breath marking. “Maybe the guy chosen by Skydancer knows something about being smart, too. Maybe we’re here, now, because you need to listen to us. Maybe it’s time to take a fucking chance and hope something changes, because if you think you’re getting better than two chosen representatives of the Gods themselves then you’re on your own, kids.” You roll your sleeve back down, relacing the guard. Looking around at a cave of silenced kobolds, you jerk a thumb over your shoulder. “Now pack up and move out. If the Hidden Ones try any funny shit I’ll smite their asses.”

You’re fairly sure you can hear sniggering, but when you turn to look both John and the orange featherbrain are busily watching you in awe. The old kobold looks past you to Adel, staff clenched tight in both hands; the War Leader translates with his eyes locked on the elder.

“You swear to us?” he says, over a cracked old voice as solemn as the hills. “You give us your word, nak, that Tree-Men will keep kobolds safe?”

Adel nods, slowly. “If you leave your warriors and your weapons behind, we will protect you,” he says. “This I swear.”

The old kobold nods, and you let out a breath you didn’t realise you were holding. It’s Roxy who gets things moving again, bustling past you into the crowd, grabbing kobolds at what looks like random and starting to natter about you-don’t-even-give-a-shit-what. Movement shakes you out of your stupor and you head up to the entrance to start counting heads. Adel comes with you, sticking to your heels like a shadow, and you almost trip over him when you remember something else you need to worry about.

“Hey!” you call to a group of armed kobolds, who are clustering around the War Leader in a corner having some sort of conference. “You guys need to bring Maplehoof inside!”

Most of them stare at you, uncomprehending, but Nakkonik shrugs. “Horse gone,” he says, and turns back to his men.

 _The fuck?_ You aren’t letting him get away with that shit, and you almost get a bite on your hand when you grab him and tug him back around to face you. “Gone? What do you mean, gone? Dirk is gonna flip his shit if you’ve eaten her!”

“Not eaten,” the kobold says, peeling your fingers off his shoulder. “Gone.” He makes a walking motion with his fingers, shrugs, and turns back to the others. You sigh and slouch back over to where Adel is waiting by the entrance; Maplehoof always did have a bad habit of vanishing when unattended. You’ve been telling Dirk for years that she’s not going to come back one day, but holy fuck do you wish she had better timing.

No sooner have you made it to the exit than a slim arm sneaks through your elbow and drags you off to a wall. You hear a wolf-whistle and glare at Adel; the Halfling shrugs, all innocence. Then Roxy prods you in the ribs, focusing your attention back on her.

“They're goin' armed,” she whispers. You manage to not visibly react to this announcement. It helps that you don't find it too surprising.

“What do we know?” you ask. The back of your neck is prickling and you don't feel like arguing about something that you'd do in their shoes, but you want to know what you're getting into.

Roxy shrugs. “Not much. Heard it while I was scrounging booze; they're passing out pointy things to anyone who can fight but doesn't look like it.” She gives you a sad smile. “Not many old people, but plenty of kids.”

You wince. That's not a pretty story, but it could be worse. “Okay, sounds like they're being smart about it. Keep it quiet and make sure John doesn't blow this shit wide open.”

Roxy nods and slips off again. You wander back over to Adel and concentrate on getting the kobolds in line. You're an expert in concealed weapons, and now you're looking you spot a good two or three before John comes running over, empty-handed and looking harried.

“Dave!”

“John,” you say, turning to face him. “Where's Casey? Thought you were gonna go start a little farm, raise her right.”

“Ha, ha,” he says, and grabs your arm to drag you back into the corner. He's not as gentle about it as Roxy, and it's easy for you to forget that there's a lot of strength in those skinny elf arms of his.

“We have to do something!” he whispers, loud enough that you could be overheard. You press your hand against his mouth before he can say anything else.

“No, we don't,” you tell him, keeping your voice low.

“Muo knfo ou im,” he says. You lift your hand away, keeping it hovering close, and he repeats himself. “You know about it!”

“Yeah, Roxy told me first,” you say. “And I asked her to keep your shit quiet, not get you to abduct me too. What's your problem, dude?”

“We have an agreement!” John says, making an emphatic gesture with his hands. “The Halflings only agreed to non-combatants!”

You reach around and pat him on the shoulder. “John, if we leave behind every kobold who might be called a warrior, we're going to be taking a couple of babies and the old one with the fancy stick and that's the lot.”

“But...”

“We're asking them to send their sick people and kids somewhere dangerous. They're going armed or not at all.”

“But...”

You sigh. “It's already past midday. If we argue, we won't make it. Chances are we won't anyway. Do you think that the three of us can defend all these people alone?”

John swallows, and takes a look around the caves. All around you, kobolds are bumping their foreheads gently together, clasping hands and bowing their heads as they part ways. His eyes fall on Casey, clinging to the top of a pack being worn by an older kobold.

“I bet we could if I had a magic hammer,” he says. Wistful, not resentful. You snort and shove him in the shoulder.

“Go get them moving,” you say. John runs off and you head out of the cave to help marshal the travellers. The orange bird caws as you exit and you make a cursing gesture at it as you pass. It's darker out here than it was before; the clouds have drawn in, and the air feels heavy. Years of experience are telling you that there's going to be a storm before you make it to shelter.

The first few drops of rain are brushing against your face when you finally set out, the warriors vanishing into the depths of the caves to hide and fight and try to survive the night. You fix your eyes on Adel and trudge over leafmould, fingering the hilt of your sword and wondering how soon you'll get to test those moves you were thinking about.

### Suggestions Used

 _Nikotehfox -_ Dave: Play with your new sword

 _Ms Arano -_ Dave/Dirk/Rose/Roxy/John/Jade: Keep hearing random comments that seem to come from no where...

 _Ryo Hoshi -_ Roxy: Discover why detox is a thing.

 _mzingalwa -_ Roxy: Find that getting over the sudden absence of alcohol in your life is slightly easier to get over than you thought it would be (Its almost as if you've had to go through the experience several times before)

 _Darwin+G'wein -_ John: Think of ways Dave and his magic sword could be used to one up Jane.

 _Massivedragon -_ John: Insist you wearing a "lightish red" tunic, not a pink one.

 _Massivedragon -_ Dave: Insult the the great theater actor Nicholas Cage.

 _Massivedragon -_ John: Talk about your love for the great theater actor Nicholas Cage.

 _Nikotehfox -_ Dave: Have your delicate sensibilities offended by the accusations against the Phooka.

 _Callie -_ Orange crow: Stalk Dave

 _Darwin G'wein -_ John: Have a talent for bird calls. Quickly annoy even Roxy.

 _tempestousCoryphee -_ Dave: Contemplate strategies available to you with a sword you can break as many times as you want.

 _LostSock -_ Rose/Roxy/anyone?: Suggest experimenting with (aka re-breaking several times) Caliburn to see if the instant repairing dealie is the only magic it has.

 _Ms Arano -_ Dave: Acclimate quickly to having a magic sword.

 _Antartique -_ John: Reunite with your loving (wife and) daughter.

 _DeadZone -_ John: Mis/Apply genre savviness from all the stage plays and bar stories to quest/Roxy.

 _ttd0000 -_ John/Dave: the kobolds like you best, convince them to send their most vulnerable citizens to spend the night in their worst enemies city (man, when you say it like that it almost seems like a bad idea.)

 _edenfalling -_ Maplehoof: Go on an adventure of your very own!

 _Ms Arano -_ Roxy: Gather information from your new drinking buddies among the kobolds.

 _ttd0000 -_ Kobolds: Some of the warriors are very young, or very old, or laid up from sickness and/or injury. If they sneak weapons in with them, they can defend the rest.

 _Aryashi -_ John: Think about the Kobold problem, aka go in circles because you really don't have a head for complex moral and political dilemmas.

 _Aryashi -_ John: Wind up doing what's right anyway

 _J-Rook -_ John: go be a kobold diplomat while wonder if you'll be gifted a magic weapon via mysterious means.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So we've got a chapter for Dirk, Jane and Rose incoming, and then if my calculations are correct one more chapter in which I intend to set up Kanaya and her group for action, then a filler chapter...
> 
> Can you see where I'm going with this? ;)
> 
> (Actually I just checked my maths and it isn't quite correct, but counting out ten chapters WHILE writing them is harder than you'd think. Ho hum.)


	61. ==> Jane: Find Something That Was Probably Best Left Hidden

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Hero Point Votes:**  
>  John 2  
> Terezi 1  
> Dave 1
> 
>  **Current Hero Points:**  
>  John 3/5, Rose 3/5, Dave 1/3, Jade 1/3  
> Karkat 2/5, Gamzee 1/3, Terezi 1/5  
> Sollux 1/3, Aradia 1/3, Kanaya 2/5  
> Jane 2/5, Jake 1/5, Roxy 2/3, **Dirk 3/3**

## ==> Jane: Find Something That Was Probably Best Left Hidden

“AUGH!”

Your sleeve rips as you tear your arm away from the branch, the thorns scoring a thin line of blood across your skin. It’s not the first such injury you’ve sustained on this infernal jaunt, but darn it all if it won’t be the last.

Dirk and Rose both stop as you throw yourself to the ground in a huff, red-faced and haggard; even Frigglish peers at you from his seat atop Rose’s shoulders. You’ve been bringing up the rear for quite some time, and you never thought you would miss cobblestones this much. Right now you would give your left arm to be in the filthiest, most cluttered back alley of Porthaven, away from all this bothersome _wilderness._

“That is hardly a helpful attitude,” says Rose. “We must press on if we are to locate the lycanthrope settlement before the sun sets.”

“What lycanthrope settlement!?” you shout, waving an arm at the dense greenery pressing in on you from all sides. Every step into this hellish thicket has been hard-won; the Halflings gave you all thick, chopping blades to clear your path, but you swear these plants grow back twice as thick between one stroke and the next. “We’re not going to find anything in here!”

A troubled look crosses Rose’s face. “That is not so,” she says. “I am certain I can feel something calling me onwards.”

“Oh, you can _feel_ something,” you snap. Your patience for her mystic oracle nonsense was exhausted hours ago and you can’t help but feel that if the gods want to guide you somewhere a map or a road or a scroll of teleportation would be considerably more helpful. “Well, I am certainly glad that all our lives are in the hands of your vague impressions! I would certainly hate to be lost in a _thicket of thorns!”_

“Jane,” says Dirk. Your head snaps round and you find him crouching down next to you. The man moves quieter than the darned cat and you brace yourself to shout at him when he demands that you calm down or be reasonable or some such nonsense.

“How about we take a break for a bit?” he asks, and the wind is abruptly gone from your sails. You groan and bury your face in your hands.

“I hate this forest,” you say, voice muffled by your hands. Someone chuckles and you peek out between your fingers, but you can’t tell which one of them it was. It’s disturbing seeing the two of them standing so close together, giving you the same calm, measured look. You keep forgetting that they aren’t hatched from the same clutch. It’s not so much that they look similar- although they do, gods only know how but they do. It’s the way they move and the way they hold their heads and the way they talk, using words as edged weapons and speaking in a way that suggests they relish the taste of the syllables on their tongue.

Dirk and Rose could be brother and sister, far closer than either of their own siblings, and remembering that they’re not gives you a headache.

Frigglish mews and jumps down from Rose’s shoulders to stalk archly over to where you’re sitting. You smile and pet him, not at all worried that it’s an invasion of Roxy’s privacy. Frigglish has seemed different ever since separating from his mistress; a little less intelligent, perhaps. It doesn’t worry you unduly. Roxy would never have parted from him if it would cause permanent harm and you’re glad to have her with you in spirit if not in fact. You feel even better a minute later when Dirk settles down next to you and gives the familiar an affectionate scratch between the ears. Rose smiles and sets herself down opposite the two of you.

“I’m starting to really dislike those Halflings,” you say after a while.

“Oh?” says Dirk, leaning back against a tree trunk and closing his eyes. “Would that be because they’re a bunch of selfish assholes, or because they’re a bunch of selfish assholes who didn’t give us directions?”

“Both,” you say, rubbing a finger in the soft fluff behind Frigglish’s ear. The cat closes his eyes and purrs loud enough for you to feel it.

“In fairness to our former hosts, I doubt directions would have served us particularly well,” says Rose. “Perhaps one of you is better equipped to keep track of our location than I, though.”

“Nope,” says Dirk. “All the woodcraft in the world couldn’t keep a straight track here.”

“So we’re lost,” you say, staring up at the canopy. It’s virtually impregnable; if it were much thicker, you would need a torch to navigate, and you feel slightly guilty because you know that Dirk and Rose have been stumbling more than you have. “I suppose we only have ourselves to blame for venturing into an unassailable wilderness with little more than hopes and prayers to guide us.”

Dirk shrugs and gets to his feet. “Ready to tackle it again?” he asks, holding a hand out to you.

You sigh and grab his arm, letting him haul you upright. His scabbard bangs into your leg.

“Ow,” you mutter, rubbing the bruise. “Honestly.”

Dirk just shrugs and starts walking. Rose scoops up Frigglish and sets off after him, leaving you in the rear once again.

“What kind of sword is that, anyway?” you shout after him.

“Katana,” says Dirk. “It's a design from a faraway land; special forging methods. It's said that in the hands of a skilled warrior they can go through even other swords like a recently-paid merc through a whorehouse.”

“Oh, really?” You raise your eyebrows, ignoring Rose shaking her head and stepping ahead of Dirk. Maybe you aren't a sword fighter, but that doesn't mean you're completely ignorant. “And who, exactly, says that?”

“Well, I just did, for one,” Dirk says.

“But where _did_ you get it?” you ask him, eyeing up the strange, slim, curved blade again. “I've never seen one quite like it.”

“It was a gift,” Dirk says. “From my patron god. He left it on my doorstep after the greatest one-night stand in history.”

“Fine, don't tell me,” you say. “But I'll find out one day, mister!”

He glances back over his shoulder and gives you a small smile. “You're welcome to try.”

“Yes, well-” you break off, noticing that things are amiss. “Where's Rose?”

“I think I may have found something!” calls your other companion, from ahead and slightly off to the left. Following the call, you fight your way past another thorny branch and stumble out into an unexpected clearing. Judging by the sun, it’s afternoon already, but that’s the least of your concerns.

Rose is standing by an oblong block of stone the approximate height of a man, squinting through the large round hole in it at shoulder height. The entire standing stone looks ancient, its corners worn away by time and weather and its faces marked with carven patterns and the long fingers of vines. It’s in the exact centre of the clearing, you notice with some unease; the trees form a perfect ring around it, and rather than leaf-littered earth you are standing in knee-high grass.

“What is it?” you ask, as Dirk pops out after you and winces at the sudden increase in brightness.

“I don’t know,” says Rose. She’s pacing around the stone and peering closely at it, but you note that her hands are clasped behind her back. Frigglish paces after her, mewing insistently. “But I am fairly certain that this is the object I felt calling to me.”

Oh, yes, that’s not ominous at all. You frown at the standing stone. “Maybe you should step away from it?”

“I am being cautious, never fear,” says Rose.

Dirk snorts. “Well, that’s not going to get us anywhere.” He strides past you towards the stone, hovering on the opposite side to Rose, and crouches slightly to talk to her through the hole. “Has it done anything yet?”

Rose frowns. “No. What makes you think it should?”

“Because I’m an expert in stories, and I know where this is headed,” says Dirk, and before either of you can stop him he sticks his head through the hole in the stone. You shriek when it doesn’t appear on the other side of the block.

Without thinking you run to grab him, intending to haul him back and hope he still has a head so you can shout at it. Your hands grab his shoulders alright, but then there are a few very confusing seconds where everything seems to be a blur, and the next thing you know you’re landing in a heap on top of Dirk while Rose collapses onto you and Frigglish digs his claws in everywhere.

“Get off!” you shout, smacking at your companions until you manage to wriggle free of the pile, and it’s only then that you notice you’re somewhere else.

“What the…” Your voice trails off as you stare around the clearing; it looks identical down to the stone in the centre, but the lighting is all wrong and the trees around you- you’ve never seen trees like these, red leaves and white bark, flashing in the corners of your eyes like dried bone dipped in blood. "Oh, this cannot possibly be good," you say, mostly to yourself.

"What do you think?" asks Dirk, sitting up and rubbing his ribs. You may have stuck an elbow in them when you used him to cushion your landing. "Another plane?"

"I'm not certain," says Rose, looking up at the sky. You follow her gaze and shiver; it's as bright as day, but the sky is dark and spotted with stars. Overhead there are two moons that you don't recognise in the least, one green and one pink. Neither is quite full, but both are close. "It certainly doesn't seem like the Prime Material." She taps her fingers on the edge of the weathered stone block, heedless of its potential power. "I haven't spent much time star-gazing. Do either of you know if these constellations are unusual?"

You don't know much about the night sky yourself, but you squint up at the endless expanse of the sky anyway. "How does this help?" you ask, more curious than your tone lets on.

"I can think of a couple of possible places we might be," Rose replies. "The configuration of the sky narrows it down, if we can recognise it."

"Well, those stars are normal for the Prime Material at our previous location and time of year," says Dirk.

Rose smiles. "Good. That means we're not on one of the Lunar Planes." She looks around and nods, once. "This is most likely a dimensional pocket, a micro-plane, if you will, created by the Lord of Regulus. It resembles the accounts I have seen of her home plane, but lacks some of the most characteristic hallmarks, and appears to be sympathetically tied to the location we just left."

Your eye twitches. "You mean we're not on the Prime Material? We're in some- some magically constructed hocus-pocus copycat plane!?" Without waiting for an answer, you swing your fist out and thump Dirk in his bruised side, hard. "You jerk!"

He lets out a small hiss of pain and steps away from you. "If I hadn't done something, we'd still be stuck in the clearing," he says, like this is the most reasonable excuse in the world.

"So? That would be better!" You're only getting more and more angry the more you think about it. In a temper, you start to stride back towards the stone. "In fact, I'm going back right now!"

Dirk waits until you're peering through the hole to say, "I thought you wanted to find the lycanthropes."

Your head snaps around so fast it ought to make a sound. "What?"

He waves an arm at the eerie trees and unnatural sky. "The Halflings aren't the Hidden Ones, and the Far Forest isn't just a pretty name. I don't think you get much further than this, and it's certainly a good place to hide."

"And of course, it would be difficult to give directions to an entrance so full of magic that it could presumably cloak itself should it not wish to be found," Rose finishes. You pull your fingers back from the standing stone and give it a deeply suspicious look. There's a rustling in the trees and for a moment you think they're laughing; the feeling grows stronger when you notice that there is no wind here.

“So what do you think?” Dirk asks, pacing around the edge of the clearing and staring into the forest. “Did they start out here, or did the Huntress try to tidy up after herself?”

“I am uncertain,” says Rose. She frowns up at the two moons in the sky. “But there is something... I feel as though I have forgotten something important. Something vital, to do with Regulus.”

You are about to express your opinion of her vague oracular mutterings for the umpteenth time, when you are distracted by something moving in the trees.

“What was that?” you ask, spinning to try and track it.

“What was what?” Rose asks, while Dirk reaches for his sword.

“Over there.” Your eyes focus on the flicker of movement again, trying to track the source. “Hey! Who’s there?”

There’s a giggle from the treeline, high-pitched and breathy. You and Dirk both reach for the hilts of your weapons.

“Stay your hands! I mean no harm,” calls a voice, soft and musical. “Within these lands I bid you calm.”

You glance across at Dirk, who shrugs and mouths no idea. You look back to the trees just in time to see the figure emerge.

It’s small, only the size of a Halfling, and it’s immediately plain why you didn’t see it sooner. Its skin, barely covered by pale furs, is the same cracked white as the trees and its hair is not only blood-red, but seems to actually have leaves growing in it. With its bony limbs it looks like nothing less than an elf-shaped piece of tree that has broken off and started moving around on its own. It looks at each of you in turn with almond-shaped eyes that are solid black and too large, and blinks slowly before its seemingly small mouth slits open into a jagged, fanged grin that covers half its face.

You have never seen a creature exactly like it, but your parents ran an adventurers’ inn. You’ve seen enough of its kinfolk to know exactly what you are looking at, and you return the smile with relief.

“Good afternoon to you. We request that you let us pass peacefully through,” you say, bowing your head politely. The Gnome claps its hands, delighted by your clumsy rhyme, while Dirk covers his face with one hand and shakes his head.

“Welcome be, welcome be,” says the Gnome, in the same lilting tones. “’Tis rare to see ones such as ye. Few travellers come and walk this wood; to see some enter does much good!”

Rose is gawking. You elbow her in the ribs. “Don’t be rude,” you tell her. “To stare at a host is dreadfully crude.”

The Oracle of Light seems to think for a moment before saying; “Is there a reason we are speaking in rhyme? Because if there is not it is wasting our time.”

You pause, trying to think of a good way to explain it, when Dirk starts talking. “It’s good manners for a Gnome, if you’re standing in their home; gotta care, be aware, play the games and try to own. You might get a chance to learn, but when the rhyming starts to burn, then you’d better have the rhythm by the time it hits your turn.”

The Gnome’s gaping grin gets larger, if anything. “A precious thing your presence be,” it says. “Few know to speak in rhyme to me, and fewer still in verse so good.” It snickers. “More oft I see the sight of blood.”

“Glad to hear I’m in the clear,” says Dirk. “But we’re here for a cause. There’s some folks out in the forest wanna dodge some werebeast claws. We were looking here to find them; the hunters of the moon. If you know, can you show, ‘cos we gotta find them soon.”

The Gnome’s grin doesn’t fade, but it stares without reaction for several long seconds. You try not to read too much into that. Every Gnome you’ve ever met has been befuddling strange by elfin standards, and they were adventurers, far more used to interacting with your kind. You get the feeling that even by Gnomish standards, this place is unusual.

“I’ll lead you hence to what you seek,” it says eventually. “But think you not your prey be weak. The Huntress shelters with her spell, all those who would in these woods dwell.”

It turns and starts to walk off into the woods, and with no better direction the three of you start to follow it.

“Best to stick to rhyming speak,” says Dirk quietly, out of theoretical earshot of the Gnome. “No way to know where hearing peaks.”

You and Rose respond with a pair of terse nods. Avoiding words altogether seems like a simpler idea, at least where you can. Unfortunately, it also helps to create a hush over your small party, through which you can hear every sound the forest makes. You see a few small animals and birds about the place, which is a relief, but there is just no explaining trees that creak as you pass and branches that rustle in a non-existent wind.

The idea that the woods are out to get you is seeming less and less far-fetched with every step. You feel no better as you approach a rocky hillside, the packed trees growing around boulders and into the slope. You smell the fire burning before you see it, and your spirits lift at the thought of an honest-to-goodness campfire. You'll take any modicum of civilisation after all this nature.

Stepping around a boulder, you learn just how wrong you were. A small scream bursts out of you as you tread on something that breaks with a crack, and look down to see a bleached white bone. You look past it to see more, and more... the ground is littered with them, and there are enough skulls that you can tell where they came from. Halflings and kobolds you would guess for the most part, although some of the skulls are larger. Elves, or aasimar.

It's no accidental collection, either. The bones are scattered across an otherwise normal campsite, and your alarm attracts the attention of another dozen or so Gnomes, indistinguishable from your guide, who are sitting around the bone-fuelled fire. A small horde of featureless black eyes blink at you, and you realise that you may have just made a fatal mistake.

You glance across at your friends, and see that Rose looks pale. Dirk looks too casual, and from the way he's holding his weight he's ready to draw a weapon or start running.

Seeing your alarm, your former guide snickers. It strides up to its fellows, forming the head of the pack as they begin to pace towards you. “Be careful what your wishes be,” it says. “Trusting what is given free- act with caution first, I'd say, but you'll be dead by end of day.”

The Gnomes start laughing.

“Oh, ah, so…” you say, backing away from the advancing Gnomish horde. “In that case we’ll just, um, go?”

“Yeah, I don’t think politeness is gonna win us the blue ribbon anymore,” says Dirk, retreating alongside you.

Your former guide bows his head to the three of you, mockingly, and then to your shock it gives its head a shake and fur starts to sprout along its nose.

 _The lycanthropes._ Nobody ever said they had to be elves.

 _“Run!”_ yells Dirk. You turn and plunge back into the alien wood; a wild whoop goes up from behind you, turning halfway into an animal roar, and with a small squeak you put on an extra burst of speed. Almost immediately your foot catches in a root; Dirk catches you before you hit the ground and shoves you after Rose. You slam into a branch and once you fight your way clear any illusions that these mishaps are some natural clumsiness and panic on your part are dispelled by the sight of Rose trying to tear her arm free from a twisting, animate vine. The rustling of the leaves is louder than ever and in your head it sounds like cruel laughter.

Dirk’s sword flashes out without even a whisper of metal on leather, severing the foliage in an eyeblink and freeing Rose. You briefly see blood on her arm, staining through her borrowed Phooka blouse before you chase on past deeper into the trees. That are trying to kill you.

You wish you’d had a few moments to think of a better plan. Instead you slash left and right with the chopping blade the Halflings gave you and try not to think about the thirsty twigs that scratch at your skin and sprout red, red leaves.

“Nog yllll yabug ch'nglui shugg!” shouts Rose. The hunting howls behind you ensure that you do nothing so silly as stopping dead in surprise, but it’s a close thing.

“What was that?” Dirk calls, thrashing at a bush that is trying to entangle his legs.

“I don’t know!” you call back. “Rose, what are you saying?”

“Ya'ai kn'a f'kadishtu ya?” Rose says. “Ya kn'a ylloig ehye shoggornyth? H'mnahn'hlirgh'fhalma fm'latgh ebumna syha'hog!”

“Okay, that’s not at all worrying!” you shout, over the noise of the forest and your pursuers. “Dirk, which way to the standing stone?”

“I don’t know. This place is downright fucking labyrinthine,” Dirk yells back. A branch- an actual, wooden branch- hooks over his shoulder and leaves a scratch. He turns to swat at it, and a thicket of white-red bramble springs up under his feet and wraps around his legs. “Either of you have any ideas?”

“Fresh out, I’m afraid,” you say, doing an odd little foot-to-foot dance to avoid getting captured yourself. Rose isn’t so lucky; you see her getting dragged downwards by the devilish plants, and in that moment of distraction you feel something wrap around your own ankle.

“Confound it all!” you shout, trying and failing to tug your leg free. Rose spouts some more gibberish that you sincerely hope isn't a sign of something far worse being amiss with her. You look over at your afflicted companion, only to see her pointing at something between the trees. Following her finger, you make out something moving- but it's in the wrong direction to be your pursuers...

“Maplehoof!” shouts Dirk as a familiar white pony charges out from between the trees, followed by two other equines. The three of them set to stomping on the ground, sharp hooves achieving what all your pathetic tugging could not. You find yourself abruptly freed, standing face-to-face with a large, dazzlingly white horse whose brow sprouts a long, spiralling, conical horn.

“Oh, my,” you say, feeling a little faint as the unicorn bows on one knee to you. A howl sounds from nearby and you don't think twice about hanging on; you glance over and see that Dirk is astride the other unicorn, while Rose is clinging to Maplehoof's neck.

It strikes you as odd that Rose would ride the pony, as her mount is surely more used to and fond of Dirk. A thought occurs to you. “Wait, I thought that unicorns only liked-”

You break off when they both stare at you. “Don't see anything here that would rule that out,” says Dirk. “Even these guys know how fucking ace I am. Now if you're done failing to embarrass either of us, let's _get the fuck out of here!”_

You're happy to drop the matter, and your steeds don't seem to need much encouragement. The three of you take off through the forest at a gallop, too fast for the plants to grasp. You can only hope that the same is true of the lycanthropes on your heels.

### Suggestions Used

 _1JakoftheMoon1 -_ Rose: Continue leading the quest in vaguely the correct direction, but remain hilariously, ironically in the dark about your true destiny. 

_J-Rook -_ Jane: see the striking similarities between these two unrelated Aasimar.

 _J-Rook -_ Dirk: vaguely answer question about your katana and its origin

 _Ms Arano -_ Rose: come across legendary object of some sort

 _BubbleBtch –_ Dirk: touch something you really shouldn't have (getting hurt optional)

 _Ms Arano -_ Jane: punch someone

 _mitzirocker -_ Rose: Stare at moons. There's something niggling at the edge of your mind...

 _WhiteTiger1221 -_ Rose: Recall vague memories of your dream(s) as your journey continues, probably at inopportune moments.

 _Darwin G'wein -_ First Lycanthrope: appear ridiculously civil.

 _1JakoftheMoon1 -_ Villainous plot of land: You're mean. You're angry. You're a villainous plot, and you shall have your day.

 _Darwin G'wein -_ Rose: Forget meditating about grand cosmic collapse, your world just got a lot scarier on a far more personal level.

 _BubbleBtch –_ Rose: loose some blood

 _J-Rook -_ Rose: speak in tongues, It's high time your curse comes in to play. you ware speaking just fine those last few fights.

 _J-Rook -_ Rose: worry friends with your condition.

 _Chippy -_ Maplehoof: show up at the last possible minute and rescue somebody.

 _Asuka Kureru -_ Maplehoof : trample your master's enemies.

 _ttd0000 -_ Rose: Follow Maplehoof to destiny.

 _Wizardtaytays -_ Dirk: Acquire loyal steeds

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Puttin' System Notes here as they are tiny.
> 
>  **System Notes**  
>  **Identify the sky = DC10**  
>  Jane and Rose cannot make this check!  
> Dirk's knowledge nature check = 17  
> DIRK RECOGNISES THE STARS AS BEING NATIVE TO THE MATERIAL PLANE.
> 
>  **Where the hell are they? = DC15**  
>  Jane cannot make this check!  
> Dirk's knowledge the planes check = 4  
> Rose's knowledge the planes check = 19  
> ROSE SUCCESSFULLY IDENTIFIES THEIR LOCATION.


	62. ==> Kanaya: Mediate Between Two Dissenting Groups

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Hero point votes:**  
>  John 2  
> Terezi 2  
> Dave 1  
> Jane 1  
> Rose 1  
> Dirk 2  
> Jade 1  
> THE UNICORNS! (or possibly Dirk) 1
> 
>  **Current Hero Points:**  
>  John 3/5, Rose 3/5, Dave 1/3, Jade 1/3  
> Karkat 2/5, Gamzee 1/3, Terezi 1/5  
> Sollux 1/3, Aradia 1/3, Kanaya 2/5  
> Jane 2/5, Jake 1/5, Roxy 2/3, **Dirk 3/3**

## ==> Kanaya: Mediate Between Two Dissenting Groups

Fortune is a strange thing, you think. It can come in abundance, and yet remain unclear to the last instant whether it is for good or ill.

So it is when your tense standoff with a group of frightened runaways, most notably a former slave and his loaded crossbow, is foreshortened by Gunnar ambling around the corner towards you, his sons just behind him.

“Been a while though here, lass, just making certain you haven't fallen in-”

_THUNK!_

Startled by the sudden overwhelming presence of _dwarf,_ the nervous man reacts predictably for an untrained desperado, swinging his weapon around and loosing the bolt. The shot goes wide, but the damage is done.

With an echoing battle-cry, Vidar springs forward. Before you can intercept him he slams into the unfortunate man who shot at his father, and both of them crash to the ground. The mysterious journal you recovered from the river drops from your hands as you dart in and try to tug him off the bloodied drow.

“Stop!” you shout, seeing Lars and Gunnar drawing their guns as the small gaggle of refugees shrink back in wordless fear. “They mean no harm! They are merely alarmed by our presence!”

Vidar snarls at the drow man, who flinches back, but makes no move to resist as you haul him back. You are greatly relieved. If he had wanted to resist, there is little you could have done to prevent his actions.

“Please, try to understand, these people are in a desperate situation,” you say to your dwarven comrades. “We must endeavour to remain calm.”

“Calm?” says Lars. “He bloody shot at us!”

“Badly,” Gunnar comments, dusting off his sleeve. “And one crossbow between the lot of them, I see.”

You wonder precisely how long one must adventure for to become as level-headed as Gunnar, and conclude that for those of your acquaintance there is no period of time that would suffice.

“I'm sorry,” says a different voice, in Undercommon. You turn back around to see the former wielder of the crossbow looking up at you wide-eyed from the floor, trying to wipe away the trickle of blood running from his nose. “I didn't realise. We'll go, I swear, nobody will hear of this from us...”

You look around the group of frightened faces. It takes you far too long to work out that none of them understood a word of the conversation you had with your allies.

“What, precisely, do you think is going on here?” you ask, taking a step back and trying to look as nonthreatening as is possible with a Sawtooth Sabre strapped to your back. It was the wrong question; all of the refugees immediately pale, and the little girl starts crying. Her brother tries to hush her while watching you.

“But- we won't, none of us, we won't say a word, I swear, we all do...”

You sigh and pinch the bridge of your nose, briefly letting your eyes close. “As gratifying as that is to know, I have no conception of what you are on about. I believe you have misunderstood something.”

Six pairs of confused elven eyes stare at you. You turn back to the dwarves, who are now looking just as puzzled.

“They seem to be under the impression that we are doing something illicit and secretive,” you say. “Which, whilst true in a broad sense, does not match their reaction.”

Vidar gives them a dirty look. “Probably trying to get us to let our guards down, the blaggards.”

“It is not an act,” you say.

“How do you know?” Lars asks. “How do you know they didn't come from the city like this as a trap? Your friend could have gotten into some trouble getting our brother out, couldn't she?”

You nod. “It is conceivable. But unlikely. This location has long been a secret rendezvous point for an underground organisation whose purpose is to smuggle safely to the surface those who- like myself- wish to leave Golgesi.” You turn back to the refugees. “I can assure you, we mean you no harm. Several years ago, I myself was in your position, and my comrades and I are expecting some friends and relatives of ours to pass this way soon.”

They don't look any less wary, but you can see the fear shot through with curiosity, particularly on the two younger ones.

“But you- you're with the temple,” blurts the woman at the back.

“No,” you say, firmly. “I am with the Goddess. I believe that if the temple were aware of my presence so close to the city, they would be most displeased.”

They look around at one another in confusion. You can hardly blame them. Those who have not been subject to the internal politics of the holy orders rarely understand the divisions within them.

“What about them, then?” asks one of the other men, nodding towards the dwarves. Vidar sees the motion and scowls at him for a moment before Lars pulls him around.

“They are allies of mine,” you tell the refugees. “I assure you, dwarvenkind are not the monsters you have been told of. I can assure you from personal experience that they do not eat the flesh of their enemies, or drink the magic from the air.”

They still look rather uncertain, so you turn back to your dwarven allies. “I don't suppose there is any way you could look more friendly?” you ask.

Gunnar chuckles and ambles up. “Of course, old girl, no problem at all,” he says. The man with the crossbow flinches back slightly when Gunnar stops in front of him, but blinks when the dwarf thrusts out a hand. “Hello, old chap, I'm Gunnar. GUN-NAR! Pleasure to meet you and all that rot!”

The man glances at you, and you nod. Slowly he holds out his own hand, and Gunnar gives it an enthusiastic pump before beaming broadly at him.

“His name is Gunnar,” you tell the refugees. “The other two are Lars and Vidar, his sons.”

Hearing their names, the other two dwarves look around, and Lars gives a hesitant wave. The little girl, still half-hidden behind her brother, waves back.

“He is Royash,” says the woman, stepping forwards and looking you in the eye. “And I am Silenna. You say you plan to meet a friend here?”

“Yes,” you say, realising rather belatedly that since you are both the only female member of your group and the one to negotiate the truce, she is now assuming that you are in charge. You wish there were some simple way to explain that you were merely intervening, but perhaps given the language barrier it is best this way. “She is not here yet. You may find her alarming, should we meet up, but I assure you she is a true friend.”

Unfortunately Silenna seems unwilling to take your word for it. “Alarming how?”

“She is a devotee of the Seer,” you admit, and a whisper of alarm goes through the refugees. “But she is trustworthy. If it were not for her, I would never have escaped alive, and currently I am attempting to return the favour.” You wave a hand to your dwarven companions. “Someone close to them, an adopted member of their family, is escaping with her.”

“What's going on?” Lars calls, seeing your motion.

“I am merely explaining our presence!” you shout back. Turning back to Silenna, whom you now suspect to be the de facto leader of this small group regardless of who was carrying the weapon, you say: “It is dangerous in the Deep Caverns. I would suggest that we remain together for safety until we reach the surface.”

Silenna purses her lips in thought and glances around at the rest of her group. “Give us a moment,” she says, and you nod. The four adults and the older boy immediately cluster into a circle, leaving the small girl to stare at you wide-eyed with one hand still closed around the edge of her brother's shirt.

Gunnar sees her looking and winks, then slowly waggles his fingers in a wave. The little girl giggles and shuffles a little further behind her brother, and you wonder at the resilience of the young. What will her life be like, growing up on the surface? You have to assume that it will be better than what she has left behind- her brother would not risk them both on such a dangerous venture if her prospects were at all bright. The fact that it is just the two of them, older and younger, raises too many questions as to where their hatchmates might be.

Uncomfortable with the thoughts you are entertaining, you stoop down to pick up the journal you dropped earlier, taking the time to settle it properly into your pack for later study.

“What's that?” Lars asks, and you jump, startled. You had not even heard him approach. Given how hard he is to miss, you must have been very deep in thought.

“Something I found in the river,” you say, swinging your pack back on. “It is a curiosity; I think Aradia would be fascinated by it.” You don't mention Sollux, but you are hopeful. Some days he loves a mystery as much as his companion.

“Fair enough.” He glances over at the refugees, still talking amongst themselves, then lowers his voice. “Do you think they're alright?”

Of course. His mother and sister are still with your comrades. You pat him gently on the arm and smile. “I think that if we have made it this far, they should have no trouble.”

Lars' mouth twitches up into a small smile. “Heh. I suppose a monster would have to be out of its bally gourd to go up against Bryn in a temper!”

You nod, not really knowing his sister so well. “Quite. And if I know Terezi, Jake will be quite well too.”

His face sobers. “Look, Kanaya, I just wanted to- well, I wanted to thank you properly. You've been jolly decent about this whole thing, and we wouldn't have got this far without you, and what you did with those driders was just bloody amazing and I wouldn't be surprised if you didn't save a few folks with that, so...”

You pat his arm again. “Pay it no mind, Lars.” You smile at him, although you suspect you may be engaged in something more akin to a cocky grin. “I am, after all, a professional adventurer. What else would I be expected to do?”

Lars throws back his head and starts laughing. “Hammer and Forge, but you're a right one!” A heavy dwarvish hand slaps you across the back in a well-restrained gesture of camaraderie. You straighten, about to comment dryly on your respective builds and how fortunate it is that you are wearing armour, when a movement in the shadows catches your eye.

“Vidar?” you say, in a slightly strangled tone. Hearing it, everyone else falls silent and looks at you. The young dwarf glances up from where he was kicking at a rock and frowns.

“What is it now?”

“Come over here,” you say in the same forced voice. “Quickly.”

They're catching on, the others, looking where you're looking and stepping back or reaching for weapons. Vidar, seeing this, chooses to turn around rather than listen to you.

From where you are, it looks like a darker patch of shadow, a shifting phantasm in the darkness. Up close where Vidar is standing, you imagine it looks somewhat different, particularly since his reaction is to let out a high-pitched squeal and take off towards you.

“RUN!” Gunnar bellows, and nobody argues- not even the refugees, who can understand the sentiment if not the word. You see Lars stoop down as he passes to grab up the little girl and swing her over his stout shoulders before you find yourself in the lead, the closest your group has to an expert on these caverns.

You don't waste time with words, knowing that whatever you say only half of those following you will understand. Instead you point out your turnings, running and panting and feeling your blood pound in your veins. The area around the ancient mineshaft is a warren but you can feel it on your heels, the same dark presence that almost had you when you travelled in the magical cart along the leylines.

You don't know whether it followed you directly, or whether you led it to you with your voices, but either way it has found its prey once again and unless you can find some way to shake it you do not know how you will survive. Still searching for an answer, you stumble out onto a narrow ledge that leads around the central shaft, and across the pit see something you had not expected in the least.

“KANAYA!” shouts Aradia, waving to you from across the chasm with both hands. You halt in surprise and relief, seeing Sollux beside her, and two stout figures that must be Thyri and Bryn, and- who is that with them?

Then the stranger grabs Aradia's arm and hauls her onwards. You see why a moment after they have ducked back into the mountainside, when a strange, capelike creature flaps its way out of the tunnel and floats after them at speed. An unearthly roar from behind you reminds you why you are running and you follow the example of your comrades, ploughing onwards without regard for your sudden, unexpected reintroduction.

Of course, knowing that they are there, you keep your eyes open for them, and as you run you see them here and there- crossing a bridge of stone overhead, glimpsing them through holes in the stone between two passages in the rock, appearing out of openings on opposite sides of pools and holes and chasms- but each time your two groups are forced to run on before you can speak.

Gunnar and Thyri manage to exchange a few hasty, shouted words that assure you everyone is, for the moment, alive and well. The reassurance is thin when you are all compelled to keep running, and the burn in your chest tells you that you cannot go on much longer.

Then, as if orchestrated by some unknown and esoteric higher power, you stumble out onto a dead-end ledge. Below you and off to the left, you see your friends do the same, even as you feel the panic beginning to rise. You turn around to see the cluster of refugees behind you, and the feeling of approaching menace. It is already too late to turn back.

Gunnar has assessed the situation as quickly as you have, and steps forward to look down at his wife. “Looks like we're a bit buggered up here!” he shouts. His voice echoes off the sides of the cave.

“Same down here, I'm afraid!” Thyri shouts back. There's not a quaver in either of their voices, and although her face is too distant to see the smile Gunnar wears is both wry and sad. “Ah, well. Had a good run of it, eh?”

“That we did, and no bloody mistake!” Gunnar agrees. “I love you, you crazy old bat!”

“I love you too, you silly old bugger!”

Lars silently hands the little girl back to her brother, who hugs her close while the dwarves draw their weapons. You unsheathe your sabre, the metal rasping against the scabbard, and prepare to fight until death or salvation.

Then, between your two groups, a third band of travellers stumble out onto a ledge.

“TEREZI!” you shout. At the same moment five dwarves holler “JAKE!” and one surprisingly loud voice bellows in undercommon: “GAMZEE, YOU BUGBRAINED FUCKWIT, WHAT THE BLISTERING BILGECROTCH ARE YOU DOING OVER THERE?”

In the new group, a tall drow you don't know almost falls off the ledge trying to wave to the stranger standing next to Sollux. He is caught and dragged back by a large orc, an adventurer by the look of him- one of a group who seem to be standing by your old friend. Terezi herself, seeing you, raises her head and grins. It's the look you remember, the half-mad smirk that says _somebody_ is about to be killed and she may not be particular as to whom.

“INCOMING!” she shouts, and you're about to ask what, precisely is incoming when a deep roar echoes through the caves, resounding deep in your bones and chilling your marrow. A dull red glow starts to build from the base of the chasm, the air shimmering with a heat that smells of the very roots of the world. Behind you, you feel the shadow that was pursuing you retreat so fast that it seems to almost leave a space in the air. You would be more relieved, if the earth were not trembling with the advent of whatever creature Terezi has so gleefully heralded.

You tighten your grip on your sabre, and prepare to do battle.

### Suggestions Used

 _Emiko842 -_ Gunnar: find whatever the bloody hell is going on here.

 _ttd0000 -_ Kanaya: Well, can't say it's without bloodshed, but no one died so, there's that.

 _Scedasticity -_ Runaways: WTF dwarves?!

 _Evi -_ Random person: Misunderstand a situation

 _Evi -_ Above person: Promise to keep the misunderstood situation a secret

 _Evi -_ Above person: Nervously edge away

 _Ms Arano -_ Kanaya: mediate between two dissenting groups

 _Evi -_ Kanaya: Mediate Between Two Antagonistic People And Be Slightly Embarassed Afterwards On How Eagerly You Lept Into The Fray.

 _HUNRonin -_ Kanaya: Get out of tight spot by unleashing your l33t diplomacy skillz.(alternatively: Solve situation by applying motherly patience and understanding).

 _UDMonk -_ Monstrous abomination: Wander towards loud voices.

 _Craft -_ Terrible monster: Chase Jade and Karkat's Group

 _Craft -_ Second Terrible monster: Chase Jake and Terezi's Group

 _Craft -_ Third Terrible Monster: Chase Kanaya's Group

 _LanterLunmis -_ Kanaya: Catch up to Aradia's party in time for Scooby-Doo like chase through the caves

 _Craft -_ Benny Hill Music: Be incredibly appropriate for the chase scene.

 _WhiteTiger1221 -_ Kanaya and Co: Commence your mission to rescue Jake and appear at an appropriately dramatic time. Do so in a way that helps not hinders Terezi's plan. (Just thought I should make the distinction)

 _OfficiallyWhelmed -_ Karkat: Reunite with best friend, annoying sunwalker, crazy lawbitch, and group of psychos.

 _Hello?Yesthisisdog -_ Gamzee: find Karkat but be unable to get to him.

 _RubieDragon -_ Terezi: grin like a loon

 _Craft -_ Three Terrible Monsters: Corner all three groups in one place. Regret doing so.

 _UDMonk -_ Shit: Get real. But not TOO real. We're only at level 2.

 _UDMonk -_ Fans: GET READY FOR AAAAAAAAWWWESOOOOOOOOOOOOME!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hehe, nearly forgot to post this! Today's chapter is a little shorter than usual, but thprrr to the lot of you.
> 
> Also, I present: a list of LODAD fanart! [Or all of it that I know of, at least...] All of these images have also been linked to in the chapter that seemed most appropriate.
> 
> [Tuatha John](http://ninjutsukitty.tumblr.com/post/44671711553/tuatha-john-this-came-out-well-33-i-hope-you#notes) by [ninjutsukitty](http://ninjutsukitty.tumblr.com/)
> 
> [The Floor Is Uncomfortable](http://therandomtiger.tumblr.com/post/50389443569/the-floor-is-uncomfortable-not-as-uncomfortable) by [therandomtiger](http://therandomtiger.tumblr.com/)
> 
> [Jane: Fail miserably in the act of keeping things organized](http://mad-phlegmatic.tumblr.com/post/45745856877/jane-fail-miserably-in-the-act-of-keeping-things) by [mad-phlegmatic](http://mad-phlegmatic.tumblr.com/)
> 
> [Mr Hunky Hammer Pants](http://25.media.tumblr.com/df59de6e595d540ed0ec3346b878726f/tumblr_mjgunkBooY1rc8hlto1_1280.jpg) by [proserpine-in-phases](http://proserpine-in-phases.tumblr.com/)
> 
> [Seer of Light](http://persephone-the-fish.deviantart.com/art/Seer-of-Light-356651598?q=gallery%3Apersephone-the-fish%2F40917&qo=8) by [proserpine-in-phases](http://proserpine-in-phases.tumblr.com/)  
> [Seer of Mind](http://persephone-the-fish.deviantart.com/art/Seer-of-Mind-356862695?q=gallery%3Apersephone-the-fish%2F40917&qo=6) by [proserpine-in-phases](http://proserpine-in-phases.tumblr.com/)  
> [Knight of Blood](http://persephone-the-fish.deviantart.com/art/Knight-of-blood-358007830?q=gallery%3Apersephone-the-fish%2F40917&qo=4) by [proserpine-in-phases](http://proserpine-in-phases.tumblr.com/)  
> [Witch of Space](http://persephone-the-fish.deviantart.com/art/Witch-of-Space-359395336?q=gallery%3Apersephone-the-fish%2F40917&qo=3) by [proserpine-in-phases](http://proserpine-in-phases.tumblr.com/)  
> [Maid of Time](http://persephone-the-fish.deviantart.com/art/Maid-of-time-364799244?q=gallery%3Apersephone-the-fish%2F40917&qo=1) by [proserpine-in-phases](http://proserpine-in-phases.tumblr.com/)


	63. -- THE PAGE OF HOPE --

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Hero point votes:**  
>  John 2  
> Terezi 2  
> Dirk 2  
> THE UNICORNS! (or possibly Dirk) 1  
> Dave 1  
> Jane 1  
> Rose 1  
> Jade 1  
> DIRK WINS ON A TIE- **ERROR!** DIRK ALREADY HAS MAX HERO POINTS!  
>  [Author considers nobody getting any and decides not to be that mean]  
> A DRAW HAS OCCURRED! D20 Roll - Odds for John, Evens for Terezi  
> 14: TEREZI GAINS ONE HERO POINT!  
> Voting now open for the next Hero Point award: one person will get one after three chapters. 
> 
> **Current Hero Points:**  
>  John 3/5, Rose 3/5, Dave 1/3, Jade 1/3  
> Karkat 2/5, Gamzee 1/3, Terezi 2/5  
> Sollux 1/3, Aradia 1/3, Kanaya 2/5  
> Jane 2/5, Jake 1/5, Roxy 2/3, **Dirk 3/3**

## THE PAGE OF HOPE

[](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/f24lbr1kuf5bwq6/Page%20of%20Hope.png?dl=0)  
_Sun-Chaser, He Who Charges Forth, Ol' Eagle-eyes, the Raider Lord_

ALIGNMENT: Chaotic Good

PORTFOLIO: Adventure, Potential, Enthusiasm, Charisma

DOMAINS: Glory (Honor), Liberation (), Charm (), Luck (), Strength (Resolve), Travel (Exploration)

FAVOURED WEAPON: Pistol [Defaults to Light Crossbow]

THE PAGE OF HOPE is a god who sponsors the courageous, the wayforgers and the pathfinders and the dungeon delvers, meeting every challenge head-on as a milestone on the way to a brighter future.

HISTORY  
A god of everywhere and nowhere, historical records of the Page of Hope are fragmented and entirely dubious. His worship has never attracted the conscientious or the scholarly and even those who follow him will gleefully admit that the spoken tales of great adventure that form the bulk of his lore are exaggerated beyond belief. But that is, they argue, the point and purpose of their God. He is larger than life, never deterred by the odds, and inclined to see the impossible as a challenge rather than a deterrent. In this, he inspires the pioneers and the explorers of the world, and draws them beyond the ever-expanding horizon.

PANTHEONS AND RELATIONSHIPS  
The Page of Hope appears in the worship of two different pantheons as well as individually.

In the PANTHEON OF LIGHT, he is the god of adventurers, heroes and the bold. He is the brother of the MAID OF LIFE and close to the WITCH OF SPACE, with whom he often walks the wilds. He is the slayer of monsters and the discoverer of great wonders. Although he creates little himself, depending on the society he is sometimes said to be either the shield-brother or the lover of the PRINCE OF HEART. He often serves as an assistant in the forge, and ventures forth with the greatest arms and armour the smith-god can create.

As one of the REBORN GODS, he is once again the brother of the MAID OF LIFE, and sometimes her lover too. In this pantheon he is shown to wound or betray the PRINCE OF HEART with his thoughtlessness after the other god tries to hold him too close. The Page is a wilder god in this pantheon, more callous and more world-weary, but no less inclined to set himself towards adventure.

Alone, he is the guardian of the intrepid and travellers. True to own his wandering nature he makes many appearances in the tales of other deities, and has been known to join the KNIGHT OF BLOOD in his eternal search for a time. He is associated with some of the moon cults, consulting them on his journeys- usually either fighting evils born in the furthest reaches of the darkest planes, or seeking treasures from before the dawn of time. Interestingly, there exist fragmented tales of his capture and imprisonment at the hands of the MAID OF LIFE. These are unusual in that they cast her as the villain, and he as less than bold; perhaps this is why they have faded into obscurity.

As an antagonist to other pantheons or deities, he is an unfortunately powerful pest that simply will not quit when he should. Through headstrong stupidity he often either causes or compounds disaster. The KNIGHT OF BLOOD and the MAGE OF DOOM resent his intrusions most, although the SEER OF MIND has pursued him for theft or disruption at times. Although he is not a true antagonist of theirs the MAID OF LIFE and PRINCE OF HEART sometimes seem to mistake him for one. He does, it seems, have a talent for irritating others.

APPEARANCE AND EMISSARIES  
The Page of Hope is usually depicted as a grinning tuatha, hodekin, or dark-haired aasimar with vibrant green eyes. He is usually dressed as the local culture would picture an adventurer, in lighter armour and historically carrying dual shortswords or, more recently, light crossbows. Many images that do not show him in a state of action depict him in dramatic poses- surrounded by treasure, framed by an erupting volcano or the light of the rising sun, or with a foot resting on a skull, for example.

SERVANTS  
Very few things in nature are considered to serve the Page of Hope, given his generally antagonistic nature to anything that can be challenged, but the dawning sun is generally seen as a symbol of his and it is said that the spirits of adventurers who have died questing will answer his call, either from the world of the dead or the mortal bodies they have been reborn in.

_The Blade Golem_  
This gleaming metal golem is said to have been a gift to the Page from the PRINCE OF HEART, and it is renowned for its speed and skill with a sword. It travels the world seeking worthy opponents, and it is said that any warrior who defeats it in fair combat wins the favour of the Page.

CHURCH  
Temples of the Page can be found in most major cities, and in a stroke of what may be dramatic irony many ruined temples of his are found in the hearts of deep forests, ripe for the plundering. The greatest Temple of the Page, however, even more famed than those found in Porthaven and Akatoll, is the independent TEMPLE OF DAWN in the city of Arian Palas- hardly surprising, as that city is famed far and wide as the Gateway to the Land of Mysteries.

WORSHIPPERS AND CLERGY  
Clerics of the Page of Hope are Neutral Good, Chaotic Good, or Chaotic Neutral.

Followers of the Page are usually adventurers and explorers, but it is also common for him to be called upon regularly by other travellers for protection. He also seems popular amongst actors for reasons beyond protecting the troupe in transit, although they stress he is not a god of talent.

The clergy of the Page are most commonly Clerics and Oracles of the Ancestor, Battle, Metal and Nature mysteries. Some Paladins are also called to his service despite the Chaotic nature of the god, and some of his Paladins have been noted to be... _unusual_ compared to other of their ilk.

TEMPLES AND SHRINES  
Temples to the Page of Hope are strange compared to those of other gods, in that they consider actual worship a tertiary purpose. Their primary goal is to provide the services most required by adventurers- buying loot, selling potions and divine magic, and generally offering information on local hot-spots. Their secondary goal is to construct a building that, in ages to come, will provide a decent challenge and suitable reward for the inevitable looters, filling their treasure rooms with magical goods and their labyrinthine hallways with traps, golems and riddles.

Abandoned temples of the Page are considered EXTREMELY dangerous by all sane, rational individuals.

HOLY TEXTS  
The holy books of the Church of Hope are more often than not journals of famed adventurers, along with manuals that describe the dangers of the local environment.

_The Monster Manual_  
There are several editions of this tome, some more accurate than others. All aim to give a summary of the dangerous creatures, undead and constructs found across the material plane and beyond, along with tips on where they are found and what their strengths and weaknesses are.

_An Almanac of Adventure!_  
Variants on this book are common to all branches of the Page’s worship, and all of them boil down to the same basic thing; a how-to guide on surviving a life of monster-slaying, tomb-looting and derring-do, interspersed with general guides to various cities, princedoms and regions of the world. As these Almanacs are often edited and re-issued to incorporate newer or more accurate information, they are generally dated and tend to be most accurate in the region they were purchased. Few experienced adventurers carry these weighty tomes, preferring to simply pop into Temples of the Page to read the local Almanac.

_The Muse and the Master_  
This book retells the Tale of Skaia in the form of a rollicking adventure, but contains some odd details. The titular Master and Muse feature in both versions of the story, but in this one rather than vanishing upon the creation of Reality they are implied to have been incorporated into it somehow. Unfortunately, the style and tone of the tale have obscured what most academics and theologians consider to be one of the more interesting facets of the narrative.

_The Journal of Maninder the Mighty_  
A particularly famous adventurer's journal, the earlier entries are considered a fine guide in using ones faculties to overcome foes, traps and obstacles. The later chapters are somewhat more controversial, as following a series of interesting but lengthy events Maninder appears to be losing his marbles somewhat. From what can be confirmed historically he even managed to spread this unfortunate malady to several major unpopular figures of the day, most notably convincing the tyrannical Archmage of the Isle Arcarnum that he was in fact a small burrowing rodent. This was reportedly a great improvement, as the Archmage immediately polymorphed himself into said rodent and vanished forever. The ensuing fifty-year Regent Council was said to be remarkably pleasant.

HOLIDAYS  
The church of the Page marks the anniversaries of great events and greater heroics, and encourages the celebration of journeys- both their beginnings and their endings. New starts such as coronations, elections, and revolutions are customarily marked by pageantry from worshippers, as are any events where there are people who need toasting!

_First Dawn_  
Marked by the first sunrise after the longest night of winter, First Dawn is a raucous and energetic celebration of new beginnings. Celebrants hold parties and the devout take out oaths to accomplish great deeds in the coming year.

_The Day of Roads and Rivers_  
Held after the storms of spring in less equatorial latitudes, this day is considered particularly auspicious for beginning a journey, and is marked by the giving of gifts to those who are about to travel. This has come to include couples who are marrying, taking a metaphorical journey and receiving goods that will help them on that road.

_The Wake of Needs_  
Taking place in early winter and observed by most religiously inclined adventuring folk, this night marks an odd ritual whereby any soul who has stolen from the dead or raided the ruins of the past may light candles and pray- in overnight vigil- to purge whatever crimes the Worlds Beyond may hold against them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm running out of these! :O


	64. ==> Roxy: STRIFE!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Hero point votes:**  
>  Jake 1  
> Sollux 1
> 
>  **Current Hero Points:**  
>  John 1/5, Rose 3/5, Dave 0/3, Jade 1/3  
> Karkat 2/5, Gamzee 1/3, Terezi 2/5  
> Sollux 1/3, Aradia 1/3, Kanaya 2/5  
> Jane 2/5, Jake 1/5, Roxy 2/3, **Dirk 3/3**

## ==> Roxy: STRIFE!!!

A crack of thunder heralded the beginning of the storm, and by the time your group is drawing close to the Halfling settlement the rain is coming down in thick steel-coloured sheets. The ground is slick with mud and sludge, and more than a few of the kobolds are struggling to make headway.

“We're moving too slow!” John shouts, an arm over his face keeping the rain out of his eyes as he studies the sky. You have no idea what he thinks he can see up there; it's been dark for hours, the clouds blotting out the light, and part of you has been screaming for a while that you will have no idea when the sun sets.

You take another soothing sip from your hip-flask and follow it up with a second one. It's totally cheeky of you, but you're too jittery right now. You wish you hadn't sent Frigglish with your sister. The comforting weight of your familiar across your shoulders would be more than welcome.

“Really? What the fuck else is new?” Dave shouts back, his voice sharp with irritation. Your hand shakes as you fasten the flask back to your belt, and suddenly you feel a sharp tug on the back of your skirt. You yelp and jump away, then feel pretty stupid when you see that it's only a kobold. Something about the small, muddy, yellow lizardling is weirdly familiar, and it only takes you a second to recognise her as the one that's always following John around.

“Hey, cutie,” you say, crouching down to her level. “How ya doin' down there?”

A moist and miserable “glub” answers your question, and you reach out to pet her smooth head scales. “Oh yeah, me too. C'mon.” You grab her hand and lead her over to the boys, who are still stomping along next to one another. The silence between them is tense and exhausted, and broken only by the torrential rain, the cracks of thunder, and the orange bird that is still hopping along after you all screaming rude words.

You think the bird is all kinds of funny, but you keep that quiet because you're the only one.

“This li'l baby's all on her own!” you call. John's eyes go wide and he reaches out for the little lizard, who waddles to him with arms wide.

“That's it, Casey!” says John, but before he can grab her Dave steps in and swoops her up onto his shoulders. The little kobold glubs in surprise, then clings on fiercely. John stares at Dave in shock.

“Oh, come on,” says Dave. “You've got that big hammer to haul around, and you'll both throw a fit if we just ditch her.”

A small smile twitches at the corners of your mouth. “Ohmygods, you are such a softie!”

“Bullshit,” says Dave, turning away and wading on through the mud. “I just don't want you two slowing us down any more than our current snail pace.”

“Suuure,” says John, with a sidelong glance at you. You both start giggling.

“Prick!” the orange bird declares. “Let's knit some doilies next!”

You see Dave give the bird a suspicious look, but you've all got into the habit of dismissing it. You are totally asking your sister to check that it's not demonic when you see her again.

If you see her again.

“We're nearly there!” shouts Adel, several yards ahead and balancing on a rain-slick tree root. “I can see the outer trees!”

Most of the kobolds can't understand a word he says, but something in his tone makes it through because a wave of relief washes out around you. Rather than joining in, you glance up again at the grey-black sky. Has it grown darker? Something sits uneasy in your stomach.

“Come on!” yells John, racing forwards and nearly toppling over on the slimy leafmould. “We're nearly there!”

A sense of urgency tugging at your gut, you start to shepherd the kobolds after him, helping an elderly nak-kobold over some tricky roots and making sure that none of the small ones have gotten lost amongst the trees. As you cross the open ground that leads up to the trees of the settlement, you hear some shouting from above. Relief blossoms as you hear a creaking sound, and the wooden lift platform starts to descend from amongst the leaves. You greet it with a whoop, and John grins at you, strings of his hair plastered to his forehead. He looks so damn sexy, you could just pin him down right there.

Apart from the impending danger and the storm and all that junk, of course. Stupid libido. Your fingers itch for another sip from the flask and your head is _still pounding._

“Oh, shit.”

You whirl at the quiet pronouncement from Dave, only to see him looking around at the same moment to see a shadowy form lurking in the trees. You glance up and as if by magic- it totally isn't, you know all about magic and this is just perfectly normal mundane coincidence, but it probably should be magical anyways- the clouds part briefly to reveal a big, round, silvery, shining full moon.

You have never agreed so wholeheartedly with a statement in your _life._

Dave slowly lowers Casey to the ground and gives her a small shove towards the other kobolds. She glances at John, who gives her a nod, then scurries off. The boys both draw their weapons and you have a brief, nonsensical wish that you'd skipped on learning how to manipulate the underlying binding forces of reality in favour of bashing things with metal objects. Having the hilt of a weapon in your hand would probably be mega reassuring. You decide to get a good solid grasp on your hipflask instead, and take another soothing sip. And then a couple more to keep it company. Fuck going to your grave one hundred percent sober.

“What is it?” whispers John. “I mean, it looks kinda small for a werewolf, doesn't it?”

“Wow, Warden, didn't know you were such an expert,” says Dave flatly, eyes not wavering from the form that stalks along the treeline. “Fancy sharing any more of your incredible wisdom with us, or should we just wait until its buddies show up and eat us?”

John starts to protest that it was only a comment and it's not like it heard him. You briefly glance back at the kobolds, to see a group of them scrambling onto the lift platform. It's only big enough to fit half a dozen of them, and as it begins to ascend you realise it'll take several trips to get everyone to safety. You look back towards the forest just as lightning splits the sky, and you see the light reflect off a whole horde of eyes in the darkness. Pack? But John has a point; watching the nearest creature, it doesn't move like any canine you've ever seen.

A dumb thought occurs to you, and you giggle. “You know, it kinda looks like Frigglish,” you say.

John and Dave both turn to give you an incredulous look, and the moment their attention shifts the creature leaps forward. A dark, yowling shadow hurtles out from the trees and before any of you can act it slams into John. There is a blur and he yells in pain, briefly bringing a hand to grab at the bleeding gashes in his arm and turning a nasty greyish colour.

“Fuck!” yells Dave, stepping smoothly to the side and swinging his new sword down with both hands. His foot skids on the mud and his blow goes wide; the creature hisses at him, a menacing sound that is in no way like your adorable little familiar. It's close enough that you can see it now, and although it's distinctly feline it walks on two legs, hunched over so that the tips of the claws on its hands drag on the floor. You can't tell the colour of its fur in the darkness, but you can see that it's spotted, and in places it mingles with something that looks like silvery bark. Two eyes, black and featureless, look around for a victim and fix on the kobolds behind you.

Your heart hammers, and before you can think you jump in front of it- but not close enough to be in reach of those claws, that sounds like a really terrible plan. “Bad kitty!” you shout, and raise a hand to cast the first spell you can think of- Daze, such a simple cantrip and one better suited for quick getaways when caught in the wine cellar than fighting shapeshifting monsters. Arcane power floods through you, and pink-tinted light flashes; as it fades, you see the monsters eyes are glazed, its attention briefly scattered.

“Get it get it get it get it!” you scream, and John obliges with a yell that's half rage and half terror, slamming his hammer down into the officially dazed werebeast. You see the hammer slam into its side, hear the crack of bone- and a moment later, to your horror, you hear it again as the creature's side re-inflates and heals.

“Oh, you are fucking kidding me,” shouts Dave, over a roll of thunder. He swings his sword down into the werebeast and stares in horror as the cut immediately seals itself back up, only a thin slice remaining to seep blood. “Balls of the Knight, tell me this thing isn't going to snap out of it!”

“Haha nope, it's gonna come round any second,” you yell back. You're grinning. Sort of. Your mouth is stretching, at least.

“Great. EVERYONE GET THAT LIFT MOVING!” yells Dave. You back up, chanting a familiar spell and weaving a suit of power as hard as steel in the air around you. The Mage Armour falls into place and you step back away from the rapidly recovering creature as John swings at it and it ducks out of the way. Behind you the lift starts to rattle upwards for a second trip.

The werebeast roars in fury and swipes out with both claws, one striking Dave and the other John. Its claws cut through the hardened leather and metal of their armour like so much parchment, and your heart and stomach both lurch at the sight of them leaking blood.

“Get it again!” shouts Dave, swinging at the creature which dodges his blade with ease but is forced to step away from the frightened mass of kobolds to do so. You don't bother explaining that you can't Daze the same creature twice, because through the rain and the darkness and the hair dripping in your eyes you've seen another pair of glowing eyes drawing closer. You whisper the beginnings of a spell to yourself and wait for it to get close enough to strike. Nearby, you hear John yell incoherently and slam his hammer into the werebeast again. This time it looks like he does some damage, but the creature still doesn't seem very hurt; not like your friends, who are bleeding.

You tell yourself it's just the rain, but you don't believe it, and a moment later the second werebeast- werecat? Whatever, it darts out of the trees and you throw another Daze at it, stopping it in its tracks as sure as a brick wall.

“HaHA!” you laugh, but any hopes that you might last long enough to get to the lift are dashed a moment later when the creature fighting Dave and John lashes out again. In two swipes both your friends are downed, dropping like dolls to the ground. Darkness blossoms out through the water puddling around them and your heart freezes in your chest.

Part of you is freaking the fuck out, but another part, one with a lot more stake in the here and now, has noticed that you're up against two werebeasts with no more stalwart defenders. Your hands move almost on automatic, the syllables of enchantment spilling from your lips to form a spell that you really, really hope works these creatures because if it doesn't you are going to die right away. As opposed to in about six seconds time.

The first werebeast, which had been looking at you from between John and Dave's b- from between John and Dave, is hit by a burst of seriously pinkish light. It blinks, and maybe it's just wishful thinking but the next look it gives you seems way more friendly.

You take a step sideways to cover the fleeing kobolds as best you can, and scream up to the halflings in the trees; “HELP!” You can't hear any reply over the storm and the chaos, and the intense stare of the creature is making you nervous. You flap your hands at it uselessly. “Shoo!”

To your eternal shock, it does just that, dipping its head in a slight bow before turning and loping back off into the trees. The moment it clears the area, a pair of short figures dart in; magical light flashes, and you see a kobold crouching over Dave while a halfling races towards John. You turn your attention back to the forest and see another shadowy shape approaching. Your hand fumbles in your pouch and closes on a smooth, fist-sized sphere that is warm with power.

“Here, kitty, kitty,” you whisper, and for a moment you could swear you lock eyes with the creature. Then with a spine-chilling yowl it's charging you down, and your fist clenches, and suddenly the last spell you cast is flowing back into you and this time your hand brushes against a rough nose and the edge of a fang before you manage to scream out the words of the Charm spell. The werecreature skids to a halt in front of you and looks puzzled, like Frigglish trying to pretend he hasn't just tipped your glass of whisky over all your scrolls.

Another flash of light draws your attention, and you let out a small gasp that could be a sob or a laugh when you see John getting to his feet, Dave helping him up. You almost miss the moment when the other werebeast, the one you Dazed what seems like an age ago, swipes at you; only the passing breeze of its clumsy swing tells you it is there, and you jump with a squeal too late and only fortune to thank that you're not sliced and diced. John starts towards you, reaching for his hammer, and Dave groans.

“THINK LIKE A PRANKSTER, WARDEN!” he shouts, and John hesitates. You scream a curse at them both and duck back from the prowling werecreature; you don't have any other spells ready that will do a damn thing to it, so instead you channel your magical energy into your fists and try to remember what your instructors told you about throwing a punch.

Naturally, you miss spectacularly. Your fist swings in an impressive arc, your feet skidding on the slippery ground, and you curse those extra sips from the flask. The charmed werecreature makes a staccato mewling noise that you are convinced is laughter and you wish that the spell was strong enough to compel it to defend you. You wish you were strong enough.

“EYES CLOSED!” yells John, and it's a mad instruction because your face is full of snarling, biting, clawing feline monster but you trust him enough that you do it anyway, throwing yourself back and squeezing them closed. There's a pop and an alchemical smell, and bright light flashes red through your eyelids. Hearing pained yowls and crying kobold babies you open your eyes again, to see your attacker stumbling back with weeping eyes. It makes a wild swing in the vague direction of John, who doesn't even have to dodge aside. He grins and gives you a thumbs-up. You nod back, returning the grin with a feral smile. Your blood is racing and you're not up to this, not even a tiny bit, but somehow you're surviving and it is _incredible._

Seeing the blinded creature stumbling too close to the shrinking band of kobolds, Dave jumps in and swings his sword at it, the blade biting deep into its flesh. It screams in pain, a terrifyingly elven noise, and even as the wounds seal themselves it stumbles in pain. You see the eyes and the shadows moving in the woods and gather the Daze spell to yourself again, turning round and about to wait for a target.

When it comes, you slam the spell into it and almost freeze when the light passes over it with no effect. You manage to dive aside in the nick of time, its claws sparking off the rose-tinted magic that protects you. The charmed creature blinks as you stumble into it, and you reel back away from it before it decides it's not on your side after all.

“Get out of here!” you yell at it, and it casts one last condemning look at your attacker before it runs, a powerful and fluid shadow rejoining the night. You turn back and duck aside from your new assailant.

“HOLD YOUR BREATH!” John shouts, but just as he does your foot slips and you draw an involuntary gasp; something sharp and dusty floods your mouth and nose, and the inside of your head immediately begins itching. You sneeze, and to your horror you find you can't stop, your body wracked by a sudden and violent fit. Just seeing becomes a challenge.

“ROXY! FOUR O'CLOCK!” Dave shouts, and you whirl and cast, keeping yourself tucked low and ready to duck aside. You see your spell flow over the werebeast again before another sneezing fit doubles you over, and then something tears through your magic and into you, something hot and cold and ripping, ripping and you scream as everything fuzzes out and goes black.

Dimly, you feel yourself hit the floor, and hear the sounds around you fading. The world is a numb feeling in your chest and a heartbeat and the sound of your own breathing, a puddle under your left arm and something that squelches when you move your head. There's something you should be doing now, you think, something important that you care about very much, but it's easier just to lie still and let yourself slowly drift away...

Pain returns in a burst of light, magic shooting into you and forcing you back together, and your eyes fly open to see a frightened-looking kobold staring down at you. You nod to them and force yourself upright, noting that the only two werebeasts nearby are staggering around blindly and that moving _really, really hurts oh my gods dying was easier._

A third creature leaps over you with a noise that's half scream, half yowl, and easily bypasses Dave's clumsy swing to swipe at him. The blow should have landed, you swear, but in the moment before Dave is torn apart the air seems to thrum and heat up. You might be imagining things, but you could swear he glows faintly red and that you can smell metal in the air; whatever, when it's over he's still standing, and that's enough for you to scramble to your feet and avoid a clumsy swipe from a blinded werebeast. No sooner have you ducked aside than John charges in and, yelling, swings his hammer at it. The weighty metal head slams into leafmould and before you can do anything, before you can even blink, a second one runs past him and with one swipe slices open a new wound in his side.

John topples, the hammer falling out of his grasp, and you're about to run to him when Dave beats you to it, grabbing him under the arms and hauling him back towards the lift- the lift that is free, empty of kobolds, and suddenly you're running too, all three of you tumbling onto the flimsy wooden platform and staining it with blood as it starts to rise. Below you the werebeasts snarl and hiss and you stare down at their fury, not even able to summon the energy to mock them through the pain and the shock and the fear. Some of them try to get their claws in the trees to climb up and are met with a barrage of sling-stones from your halfling rescuers; you slump back, glad that your part in this is over. Part of you reaches out for Frigglish, but he is too far away; still, you haven't felt the awful wrench of his death, so you have to assume Rose is safe for the moment. And Dirk, and Janey too.

The three of you are swarmed the moment you make it into the trees, and you hold your breath as a kobold and a halfling both reach John at once. The latter manages to finish casting first, and as his eyes open and he gasps for breath you find your own leaving you in a ragged squeak.

John sits up, looks around, and pouts. “Where's my hammer?”

You look over at Dave; he looks as awful as you do, soaking wet and scratched to all the hells and trying to hold his innards in with his hands, and both of you burst out laughing because although you may not have won, you also didn't lose.

### Suggestions Used

 _Scedasticity -_ Awesome stuff: happen.

 _ttd0000 -_ Porthaven Group: Simultaneously battle your enemies (physically), each other (verbally), and the weather (it seems to be winning)

 _Ms Arano -_ Dave/Dirk/Rose/Roxy/John/Jade: Keep hearing random comments that seem to come from no where...

 _LostSock -_ Casey: Make inexplicable reappearance right in the middle of some plot times or drama. Be adorable whilst doing so.

 _Ryo Hoshi -_ Dave: Do something utterly spectacularly dorky...and refuse to admit that it is so not cool it has negative coolness value.

 _Ms Arano -_ John: Stare at werewolf. Werebeast? It's the first one you've ever seen! o_o

 _Evi -_ Dave: youre too cool to freak out

 _Evi -_ Dave: freak out

 _Craft -_ Dave: Flip the fuck out. On the inside.

 _Craft -_ John: Flip the fuck out. All over the place.

 _Fidonia -_ Dave: end up fighting at least one Lycanthrope. thank god your sword isn't nearly as shitty as your old ones.

 _Craft -_ Kobolds and Halflings: Save each others lives numerous times. Become fire-forged allies.

[System Notes](http://celynbrum.tumblr.com/post/54265923636/lodad-system-notes-chapter-64)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you are enjoying this story, I would like to point you all to the excellent fic: [The Journals of Karkat Vantas, Nerevarine](http://archiveofourown.org/works/808805/chapters/1526498) by [Slyjinks](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Slyjinks/pseuds/Slyjinks). It contains spoilers for the plot of the Elder Scrolls 3 Morrowind, but since that game is more than a decade old I don't give a damn and neither should you.


	65. ==> Dirk: Be Jumped On By A Cat Girl

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Hero point votes:**  
>  Sollux 1  
> Dave 4
> 
>  **Current Hero Points:**  
>  John 1/5, Rose 1/5, Dave 0/3, Jade 1/3  
> Karkat 2/5, Gamzee 1/3, Terezi 2/5  
> Sollux 1/3, Aradia 1/3, Kanaya 2/5  
> Jane 1/5, Jake 1/5, Roxy 2/3, Dirk 1/3

## ==> Dirk: Be Jumped On By A Cat Girl

Unicorns are a rare sight, and not one to be taken lightly. They don't intervene in the affairs of mortal folk without good cause, and even it's a mark of favour and honour that most High Priests and Emperors cannot hope to ever attain.

You can't help a fleeting regret that you don't have more time to appreciate the fact that you are _riding_ one, and a part of you tucked away in the back of your head makes a note to somehow interrogate Maplehoof about this one day. She might be a pony but you're certain there's a spell that can deal with that, and Roxy will cast it for you if you get it for her.

 _Assuming Roxy isn't dead._ It's not inconceivable; you glance back over your shoulder for an instant, not daring to take your eyes off the thrashing trees too long as you hurtle past. Behind you a pack of feline shapes streak through the shadows of the bone-white wood; you feel as if there should be baying and howling, but of course there isn't. Unless you mistake your guess, you are being chased by a ravenous horde of werelynx. Pride? Mob?

You do not know the correct collective noun for lynx- probably because they are usually solitary animals- and somewhere deep down this bothers you. Not as much as the potential fate of your brother, Roxy, and John, but as worries go it's about as useful right now. You let the little wheels of your mind spin loose, focusing on the key problem at hand: how are you all going to get out of here alive?

The objective is obvious- return to the standing stone. It's hard to construct a plan around that answer, however, particularly when all three of you are just clinging to your mounts and hoping like fuck they know what they're doing. Already Maplehoof is falling behind; she's a good pony, the best you've ever known, but she's no mystical beast and her legs are being caught by the vicious thorns and living vines of this fucking hellhole of a forest. You glance back again and fear shoots through you like a bolt of ice-cold lightning when you see the werebeasts leaping at Rose, clawing at Maplehoof's side and trying to unseat her rider.

“Think we should help out?” you shout to your mount; the unicorn huffs and weaves around a thrashing tree branch. Damn it, you can't steer without reins; you're about to jump off and fuck the consequences when you feel a sense of flickering light and shadow, and turn to see Rose boot a werelynx in the snout and gallop away from the pack, shouting something incomprehensible at them. You hide your grin in the unicorn's mane as you turn back, eyes flickering across the trees and trying to remember which way you came. It looks different at high speed and in reverse; a red-leaved branch flies into your face and you swerve to avoid it. When your vision is no longer full of foliage you look around and realize that you can't see Jane or Rose anywhere.

 _Well, fuck._ You're not stupid enough to stop moving, but your heart pounds in panic and you can hear the werelynx behind you, can see the flashes of movement out of the corners of your eyes- _probably just the forest still-_ and suddenly there's a feeling like you've fractured, like the inside of your head is a celestial godsdamn chorus and every one of those divinely inspired seraphim has its own pair of eyes searching like a hawk.

You recognize a nearby rock just as the bizarre, disconnected sensation fades; you're no expert in bareback riding and your ass is already sore like you're the one being ridden, but the unicorn ain't dumb. The barest twitch of your knees and she's turning, and as you pass the stone you find yourself shoulder to shoulder with Jane. You look round at her and see that she's clinging onto the unicorn's mane so hard her knuckles are white; she stares back at you with round, terrified eyes and your much-vaunted voice, the one thing you've trained with your whole life, vanishes completely on you.

There's a jolt as your mount halts, and it takes you a few seconds too long to realise why. Your way is blocked by a steep, ragged slope covered in loose rock- far too difficult for the hooves of unicorns and ponies, but undoubtedly the fastest way back to your exit. You rest a hand briefly on the neck of your new unicorn friend after dismounting, and she nuzzles your hand then shoves at you with her nose. She's right, this is no time for long goodbyes, and you take off running after Jane who is leaping up the rocky slope like she's a fucking goat. You're halfway up yourself when you see Rose appear, and you hold your breath as Maplehoof canters off flanked by the unicorns.

It's selfish, but you kinda hope your pony comes back to you eventually. Preferably alive and in one piece.

The three of you have gained some lead, at least. You can hear the yowls of the werelynx behind you as you charge through more trees, leaping roots that try to trip you and ducking branches that swing past your head, but you don't see them before you come to the edge of the river. Jane is hesitating on the bank, waiting by a wide log that spans the rushing water below. You dart past her onto the makeshift bridge.

“Come on, Warden, you can make it,” you shout back, even as you fight to keep your feet steady on the slick wood. Water splashes up from below, cooling and terrifying. You do not want to fall in, and despite your obviously superior sense of balance you slow down. It's only so that Jane can catch up with you, shuffling white-faced across the fallen tree. There is no point to being afraid right now and so you are not. It's that simple.

Really.

The two of you are about halfway across when Rose shows up again and runs straight onto the log bridge without even breaking stride. Her obvious hurry convinces you and Jane to pick up your pace and all three of you tumble onto the opposite bank at the same time. You don't hang around, resuming your former pace as behind you splashes and growls indicate that your pursuers haven't given up.

“THERE!” shouts Jane, and you follow her pointing finger through a tangled thicket. The trees push in around you and you push back, muscles burning with exertion. Again you feel the strange sense of detachment, the sense that you're breaking into a thousand mirror fragments of yourself. Maybe it's just tiredness, but not being you makes it easier to shove your way through the woods and ignore the scrapes and bruises you get fighting your way back up the hill and into a familiar clearing.

Of course, once you're there, there is something particularly obvious missing.

“Where's the stone?” asks Jane, staring at the centre of the clearing where your way out should be. She spins around, frantically searching for something that isn't there. “It should be here!”

You shrug, accepting reality as you draw your sword and turn to face the incoming horde. Beside you, Rose nods and pulls out a wand. Seeing you both prepare for battle, Jane grabs your arm and spins you to face her.

“Are you completely bonkers? We can't win a fight!”

“I know,” you say, turning back towards the forest. “But unless you've got some special Lifey powers from that patron god of yours that might save our collective asses, I plan to go down fighting.”

“Don't talk like that!” Jane shouts, punching you in the arm. Her eyes flick around the clearing again. “We'll- we'll think of something. Can you do anything from your- urgh, what am I saying, what kind of lame power is Heart anyway?”

You snort. “Hey, only the most badass of motherfuckers get the power of Heart. Don't go spreading slander like that around, it's hurtful.”

“This isn't the time for stupid jokes!” Jane snaps. She's still pacing around, looking for a way out that isn't there. “I don't need to hear any of your tall tales about bandit kings and golem armies and- and- and gods who come and give you swords in exchange for... for...”

“Hot sex,” you say, because it makes her blush and blushing makes her worry less. “Sorry to disappoint, but I'm afraid you're going to hear all about how the Prince of Heart came to visit me for a night of passionate physical lovin'. He heard about my prowess as a lover across all the Princedoms of the North, and you know, it's sometimes hard to get laid as a god.”

Jane pulls a face. “You are disgusting.”

You wink at her. “That's what _he_ said, right before he stuck his...”

Perhaps fortunately for Jane's delicate ears, it's at that point that the first of the lycanthropes appear. You jump back as a ball of fuzz and claws leaps out of a previously mostly-innocent-looking tree, and the three of you scramble back up the hill as the trees start suddenly raining werelynx onto the spot where you were standing. A gasp behind you tells you that you're surrounded; you and your companions end up standing back-to-back in the centre of the clearing, trying to menace the deadly monsters around you with a few feet of steel and a wooden twig.

You estimate your chances of survival to be somewhere in the region of _already fucking deceased,_ and shift your grip on your katana. The air around you crackles as the pride stalk closer, and you force yourself to watch their movements rather than the saliva dripping from their fangs.

It is at this point that the world flashes green. Your eyes stop working altogether and the world fills with pained yowling. When you manage to blink them clear you see the reason; the werelynx are scattering before a new assailant, large and four-legged and feline and furry and- green?

“YOWL LEAVE THEM ALONE!” the cat-beast screams, lashing out with obsidian claws that structurally speaking should not be that long. “RRRUN AND HIDE, MEWLING KITTENS! FEAR MY WRRRATH!”

The werelynx, you note, seem to be fearing her wrath just fine without the extra encouragement. You and your companions stare in slack-jawed confusion as the green-furred creature chases away every last one of your pursuers and stalks the edge of the treeline, growling and lashing a tail that's as long as you are tall. The trees seem to shrink back a little, and the cat-beast gives a “mrrr” of satisfaction before turning around to stare at you all.

Your gut lurches oddly at the sight of her face. There are two mouths, one above the other, but apart from that it's as feline as the rest of her apart from her eyes. You were expecting them to be a solid colour, perhaps to glow or to contain the endless depths of the cosmos or something. Instead, you're looking into warm orange-yellow sclera and grey irises, like those you've seen on young Tieflings in the past. She pads closer, fangs peeking out from between black lips as she licks blood from her muzzle and olive-green fur rippling with the muscles underneath it.

“Hey,” you say. The creature gives a feline smile and pounces.

You are bowled over by the weight of the creature, but even as Jane and Rose jump back in panic you are oddly calm. Something you can't explain is telling you that you're okay here, that this is play. You let yourself go limp and lie back impassively as she lowers her muzzle to your face- her upper mouth alone is large enough to take your head off in one bite, if she wanted- and sniffs at you.

“Hi, Dirk,” she says, her double grin spreading, and everything flashes green again.

This time when the glow fades you leap to your feet, which is made easier by the fact that there is no longer an immense green cat-monster sitting on you. Jane and Rose are both whirling around, checking your surroundings for danger; the three of you are standing in what looks like a cave, the interior lit by a dim green light and decorated with animal pelts.

“Oh, he's purrfectly adorable!”

Rose jumps back, Frigglish clasped in her arms, as a small figure materialises by her elbow. She says something you can't make out, and the newcomer- she looks like a little girl- frowns at her.

“Why are you talking Abyssal?” she asks.

“Ya nafl'kadishtu g'ai; y'shuggoth ng'yhafh'drn phlegethornyth. Cs'uhn yathg, ng'haiyar shoggor f'wgah'n yorr'e ng'yai, mg'ga tharanak n'gha gof'nfhalmanyth kadishtu yashtunggli; g'throd ep hai yafhayak,” Rose tells her. You don't understand a word of it, but the girl nods.

“Well, of claws,” she says, and bounds past Rose to examine Jane more closely. You watch her move as Jane tries to back off, babbling about personal space. She looks almost elven, but her skin is matte grey like a dwarf's, and those fangs are almost orcish...

Then she turns, and you see her eyes. Yellow sclera. You look again around the cave, and the thoughts in your head all slot together at once to present you with the obvious conclusion.

“Hey there, Regulus,” you say, and for a moment you could swear she looks disappointed before her face splits open in a thankfully single-mouthed grin.

“Oh, oh, wait a moment!” she says, running away from the three of you. There is a rasp of stone and a chair grows out of the floor to meet her. More of a throne, actually, even if she does charge over to it and scramble up like a child on their parent's seat. Then she straightens, sits upright with her feet dangling over the ground, and lifts her chin like an Empress.

“THE MIGHTY LORD RRREGULUS WELCOMES THE TASTY MORTALS TO HER RRREALM!” she declares, and her voice comes from _everywhere_. Jane and Rose clap their hands over their ears and Frigglish mewls in protest; you manage to stand upright, but your ears hum. Regulus' eyes flicker over to the miserable familiar, and she immediately claps a hand over her mouth. “Oops,” she says, giggling. “Ahem- the powfurful Lunar Lord greets her furiends and offurs them refreshment in apology for the _awfurl_ behaviour of her kittens!”

Stone rasps again, and you jump back as another second of the floor rises, this time to form a table and chairs carved with granite filigree. In a sparkle of green light the surface is covered with a white lace cloth, on which rests an unusually squat, round pot and three dainty cups. Regulus looks at it and wrinkles her nose; a silver tray of small cakes appears next to the steaming pot, and a matching saucer full of what looks like cream appears on the floor. Frigglish mews and jumps down from Rose's arms to sample the liquid, then starts to lap at it happily.

“This is utterly preposterous,” says Jane flatly.

“Yup,” you agree. Regulus laughs, and with a flick of her fingers conjures up another cup. She takes a sip of the steaming liquid and you notice a chip in the rim. You're still not keen on the whole lycanthropes killing people thing, but you've got to admit that you like this immortal planar lord's style. You quickly rack your brains for stories about the Lunar Lords and their hospitality, then decide fuck it and take a seat at the table.

“Is that entirely wise?” Rose asks you, as you pour yourself a cup of something hot and brown.

“Hey, welcome back,” you say, saluting her with two fingers from your forehead. “And sure, why not? I'm not gonna go turnin' down some top-class hospitality like this. How often does the supreme ruler and sapient embodiment of an extradimensional pocket of spacetime invite you to kick back in their pad and shoot the breeze?”

Rose tilts her head and raises an eyebrow. “Excellent point,” she says, taking a seat and smoothing her skirts. You don't miss that she picks the spot closest to Frigglish. “Are those sugar cubes? How curious.”

You pour her a cup of the mysterious tincture. “How about you, Jane? Gonna join us? We've got a serious party goin' down over here, but there's always room for one more.”

Jane frowns at you. She's looking awfully pale, though, and you recognise the gesture as the mask it is. “I think that maybe we should perhaps be focusing a little harder on the fact that we were just chased by a _pack of ravening monsters!”_

You take a sip from your cup; the tincture is pleasant. You think it would go well with some lemon, or maybe milk. Rose tries hers and takes one of the sugar-cubes from the middle of the table. “Well, that there's a good point,” you say, and look over at Regulus. The Lunar Lord blinks innocently at you over the rim of her cup. “What you got to say for yourself, oh Mighty Regulus of the fuzzy butt?”

Regulus mrrs and sips her own drink. “The supurreme ruler of this purrlane doesn't have to tell you anything, morsel. She already rescued you out of the goodness of her heart, didn't she?”

Your cup makes a gentle little click as you set it down. “Bullshit,” you say, trying not to listen to all the parts of you that are screaming about what a bad idea this is. “You brought us here for a reason and Jane's right, you need to start explainin'.” You turn over and beckon to Jane. “Come on, take a seat. If we're dead we're dead anyway.”

Slowly, Jane walks over and takes your advice. Her movement startles Frigglish, who darts under the table and bounces up onto Regulus' lap. The Lunar Lord seems surprised for a moment, before vanishing her cup into thin air with a flick of her fingers and starting to fuss the familiar instead.

“He's such a cutie!” she squeaks, as Frigglish rubs his cheeks against her hands. Her head turns back around, and those odd grey eyes fix on you. “So are you, you know.”

It's a good thing you're no longer holding your cup, because there is a high probability you would have dropped it just now and that would not have been debonair in the least. Regulus sees right through your stony face and giggles at your confusion.

“What kind of lame power is Heart anyway?” she says, sounding so exactly like Jane that Rose's grip on her cup actually does slip. Brown liquid splashes across white lace and vanishes in a wash of faint green. Regulus' eyes narrow and her smile changes; suddenly she looks less like a playful little girl and more like the ancient creature she truly is. “Heart is the best power,” she says, getting out of her chair and walking towards the table. “The Ancient Mews once said that Heart is the journey of splintered self, the methods to influence the soul or essence of being of oneself or of others.” She leans across the table, claws catching in the tablecloth, and plants a chaste kiss on your nose. “Adorable.”

“Are we to assume from this that you are familiar with the Prince of Heart?” asks Rose. Regulus turns her head and giggles.

“Oh, yes,” she says solemnly. “We're _furry_ close.” She leans back and reaches down to pick up Frigglish again. “But what lies in his Purrincedom is not his alone. The mighty Regulus sees the souls of the world too, and sometimes-” She grins, showing a mouth full of sharp fangs- “she refuranges things a little.”

“So what?” asks Jane. She hasn't touched her cup. Rude, but you're not about to call her on it, not with all these pesky chills running up and down your spine. “We already know you made the werecreatures.”

Regulus hisses, and for a moment her face shifts, becomes something more feral. The shadows around her dance and flicker; Frigglish mews and butts his head against her chin, and suddenly she's back to- well, normal isn't really the word for it.

“I can't undo it,” she says bluntly, striding back over to her throne and dropping to curl up on the ground in front of it. “Beclaws once a thing is changed, it stays changed, you see.” She looks right at you when she says those last words, and even though it doesn't make any sense at _all_ you get it perfectly.

“You need the Prince to undo what you did,” you say, and she nods. Rose gives you an odd look, which you ignore.

“But although Purroud Regulus kit talk to him, she kitten't make him hear her,” she says. “He's furgotten about her. You have to remind him.”

“All of us, or just Dirk?” asks Rose. Regulus smirks and hunches over, scratching behind Frigglish's ears.

“Mrrr, some things can't be told,” she says, narrowing her eyes- in imitation of a happy cat, you think. “But they can be shown.”

“So show us, then!” Jane snaps, slamming her hands down on the table and getting to her feet. She glowers at Regulus. “If you ask me, you're just being deliberately bothersome!”

In the blink of an eye Regulus vanishes and the cave drops away, replaced by an endless void in which sit stars. Their distant, cold glow only emphasises how immense the void is.

“NOT AS BOTHERSOME AS MEW!”

You see Jane turn before you do so yourself, and from the way the blood leaves her face you have some expectations. It's still a shock when you look around and look up- and up- and up...

Regulus leans down, a face the size of a godsdamn building hovering over your heads. “YOU WANT MY HELP?” she booms. “I WANT SOMETHING FROM MEW, TOO!”

“And what might that be?” Rose asks. Another blink and suddenly you're back in the cave again, standing next to the table and facing a bite-sized Regulus again. Except this time it's not exactly the same; the walls are lit by green torches, hanging in sconces of bone, and you can see paintings on the walls, countless rough images of people of all species and nations, mostly in pairs but sometimes more, each group marked with one of four symbols.

“I want a ship,” says Regulus. You all stare at her.

“I- suppose a construction contract could be arranged,” says Rose. “There are many shipbuilders in Porthaven...”

Regulus stamps her foot. “Not a boat!” she yowls. It's actually a yowl, like you hadn't already worked out the feline theme here. “A ship! I want one of my purrfect relationships to happen and if it doesn't then I won't give you _anything_ and serve you right!”

Jane gives you a bemused look. You shrug. This one is beyond you.

“I think we may need a little more elaboration than that,” says Rose, watching the pair of you out of the corner of her eye. Regulus huffs and walks over to the nearest wall; cradling Frigglish in one arm, she lifts a green-flamed torch with the other, and holds it up to light the images. You're more than a little disturbed to see smudges that look like you, Dave, Roxy, Rose, Jane and John up there.

“The furst thing you need to do is find the right people,” she says. “You're already on the right track, but the person you need to really find is Karkitty.” She tilts the torch towards a section of smudgy pictures that all feature a messy-haired drow. It's hard to make out much more detail. “He'll be hard to track down, but he's the key that unlocks efurything.”

“And then what?” You step closer and point to one of the pictures, one that shows him standing next to a tiefling with distinctive red-and-blue eyes, under a red heart. “You want us to hook him up with someone?”

“NOT THAT ONE!” Regulus yells, swatting your hand away. You pull back, but not before you get some bloody lines in your skin. “Karkitty is MINE!”

You nod silently, deciding not to argue with the near-deity that's fucking snarling at you. After a few moments she seems to calm down, although her tail is still lashing.

“I'll tell you what ship I want when the time is right, but you'd better pay up,” she says, glaring at you all out of the corners of her eyes.

“I can assure you, we will do our utmost,” Rose says, but Regulus doesn't relax until you nod too.

“This is ridiculous,” Jane mutters. “But then, why not? This whole thing is laughable anyway, why not play matchmakers for the sake of the world!”

“That's the spirit,” you say in a monotone. Regulus laughs, and still cuddling Frigglish walks back over to her throne and sits in it.

“Find Karkitty and the othfurs,” she tells you. “And find out about the people who died twenty-four years ago.”

“What, all of them?” you ask. Regulus sticks her tongue out at you.

“No, silly!” she says, petting Frigglish. “Thirteen people, from all ofur the place, who all died at once. Nobody noticed down there beclaws people die all the time, but we all saw up here. The Brotherhood of the Black Hand could tell you more.”

You stiffen. “The Brotherhood of the Black Hand are a myth,” you say. Regulus smiles.

“So am I,” she says, and the world flashes green. A moment later, you're lying face-down on wooden planks, and there is yelling all around you. As you pick yourself up and see halflings running away in a panic, you think that this sort of magic is something you could get used to.

“Is that it?” asks Jane. “Are we- are we back?”

“We are,” says Rose, looking around as you help her to her feet like the gentleman you are. “But I don't see...”

In a flicker of green light, a small white cat appears in your midst.

“... Frigglish,” your Oracular friend finishes. She reaches out for the familiar, but Frigglish darts away with a loud mew. Turning to follow the cat, you are brought up short by the sight of three familiar figures, bloodstained and battered but very much alive, watching you from the next platform over from amongst a band of kobolds.

“HEY, ROSIE! HEY, DIRKY!” bellows Roxy, waving so hard you're a little scared she's going to fall out of the tree. Jane is already running past you and John's charging the other way; you sidestep around their downright gleeful reunion and wander over to your brother. The pair of you stare at each other for exactly as long as it takes Frigglish to reunite with his mistress and Rose to follow him over. You'd pay more attention, but you are too exhausted to give that many shits right now, and Dave looks exactly as bad as you feel.

“So, good night?” Dave asks, holding out an arm. You grab it, then drag him into a hug and hold him tight. Fuck heroic stoicism, because you have never been so damn glad to see someone in your entire life.

“Like you wouldn't fuckin' believe,” you tell him, and for once every part of your mind is in agreement.

### Suggestions Used

 _ttd0000 -_ Rose: Wear the scarf. Be the rider. Kick someone.

 _Slyjinks -_ Dirk: Quit hording your fucking hero points and use one, already!

 _Emiko842 -_ Dirk: tell us more about this one night stand with yourself, it sounds fascinating

 _J-Rook -_ Dirk: defend your patron deity's aspect, Hearts an awesome power. find out about this lunar lords connection to it.

 _BubbleBtch -_ Cats: do ninja drop attack

 _Darwin G'wein -_ Lycanthropes: Dash all hopes of diplomacy until the perfectly timed pounce of Regulus.

 _Deshah -_ Dirk and Group: meet the huntress be jumped on by a cat girl

 _Politicalmetrics -_ Huntress: Pouncegreet old friends (if possible)

 _Evi -_ Lunar Lord: :33

 _Fidonia -_ Huntress: completely love Friggilish. he is just so adorable.

 _Emiko842 -_ Rose: attempt to explain why you are speaking in tongues, this may not be helpful as you are currently speaking in tongues

 _J-Rook -_ Lord of Regulus: Hav33 t33a pr33-purrr33d for33 your g33sts.

 _Serene -_ Rose: talk to one of the lunar lords.

 _Arienna -_ Lunar Lords: Be Mysterious and Vague when questioned, because you're currently immortal and your questioners are not. :P

 _J-Rook -_ Jaspers: be the most important character when dealing with Nepeta.

 _LostSock -_ Frigglish: Do something useful.

 _Deshah -_ Nepeta: ship your old friends

 _edenfalling -_ Huntress: SHIP ALL THE ADVENTURERS.

 _lotosBolter -_ Anyone: Hear details about an assassination plot executed on 13 individuals simultaneously around 23 years ago.

 _Serene -_ Dirk: get your group back to the others.

[System Notes](http://celynbrum.tumblr.com/post/54827737002/lodad-system-notes-chapter-65)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, that blasted through some hero points!
> 
> Next week is the last big, dramatic chapter, and the week after there will be no update as I have a lot of things to do for this fic, including a thorough clean-up of the suggestions file! LODAD will return the next week with a filler chapter and by then I plan to have things together enough to start up the new arc with a bit more pace to it!
> 
> :)


	66. ==> Terezi: B3. TH3. R1D3R.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Hero point votes:**  
>  Sollux 1  
> Dave 4  
> Jane 2  
> John 1
> 
>  **Current Hero Points:**  
>  John 1/5, Rose 1/5, Dave 0/3, Jade 1/3  
> Karkat 2/5, Gamzee 1/3, Terezi 1/5  
> Sollux 1/3, Aradia 1/3, Kanaya 2/5  
> Jane 1/5, Jake 0/5, Roxy 2/3, Dirk 1/3  
>  _Note: Roxy will be gaining a third hero point soon, which will put her at capacity._

## ==> Terezi: B3. TH3. R1D3R.

You have decided. Dyffyd is your favourite.

It's only fair; Jake and Gamzee have favourites too, if you can call Jake's juvenile infatuation and Gamzee's borderline mix of terror and respect _favourites._ (You totally can.) It just took you longer to work out that talking to Dyffyd is interesting. He didn't seem much fun at first- he wasn't at all interested in word games or even comparative religion, which you were certain would be a shoo-in given that he's obviously a trained Cleric. As an Inquisitor, you're well-trained to hold your corner in such debates, which just made it all the more disappointing when he shrugged his shoulders and told you he didn't actually give a damn about who you worship.

In the end, what actually caught him was an offhand mention of your escape through the Shanties, which has since blossomed into a full-blown discussion on Golgesi society, the reform movement, and your experiences as a law enforcer in a corrupt system. At first you thought the discussion was calm, but then you noticed the bite in his voice, the conviction in his words.

He might be a Cleric of the Knight of Blood, but what he believes in is making the world a better place, and he takes all the anger he has about the world being unfair and he uses it to think. If he wasn't a silver-haired Shining Elf, you'd consider marrying him. Or at least offering him an unofficial consort position. He's not bad-looking anyway, and with the strength of the faith coming off him- a man like that is a rock, and well worth holding on to. You do not actually intend to keep hold of him, but it's certainly novel to find a man who can hold his own against you in intellectual debate.

And the adventuring tales Gwiryn insists on telling you about him are positively scandalous.

“...so then the High Priest teleports out, leaving me and Dyffyd alone with a mostly-naked virgin sacrifice, and _of course_ that's when the Duke and his men manage to show up and it turns out he's her _father!”_

“Talk about hasty retreats,” says Dyffyd, looking slightly green from the memory alone. “I think we might actually still be outlawed in that domain.”

You laugh, the sound echoing off the narrow walls of the tunnel around you, and make a mental note to treat any Dukes you come across on the surface as you would a Matriarch. “No wonder you have such a grudge against Lunar Cults!”

“It's not a grudge if it's rational,” Dyffyd says, slightly too huffily. “Look, I'll be the first to admit that most of them are harmless. But they're completely unregulated, and you never know if you're looking at one of the killer ones until someone draws the ritual blade!”

You nod in sympathy. “It was a problem in Golgesi, too,” you tell him. “Rumour said the Shanties were rife with it, but the problem cults?” You lean in and in a stage whisper tell him: “The Temples and Great Houses get it worst.”

Dyffyd nods in understanding, but behind you Jake pipes up. “Hang on, that doesn't make a lick of sense. Why in the trouserbothering bogglers would a Temple be full of cultists for a different religion?”

You glance over your shoulder to see him walking next to Lori. The other Tuatha has draped her arm over his shoulders and seems perfectly comfortable, although Jake's face is a little red. “Isn't it obvious?” you ask him. Jake shakes his head.

“Cults are all about power and ritual,” says Dyffyd, keeping his eyes scanning your path. “And if people who already have those things are looking for more in places they shouldn't- it's a lodestone for evil.”

“You don't have to worry,” you tell your companion. “Your heretical dwarf cults are properly organised; not at all illicit and evil-spawning.”

“Hey!” Jake protests, and you cackle when Lori ruffles his hair and turns him red again.

“Don't mind them, mate,” she says, eyes twinkling as she looks at the two Aelfen flanking you. “They're a pair of wind-up artists, honestly.” She leans in, pressing herself against Jake's side. “I'll keep you safe from them.”

Jake stammers incoherently until she lets him escape, and his cheeks are still burning as he ruffles his hair.

“Golly!” is the first understandable word he says, and you're practically walking backwards at this point because you wouldn't miss this show for the world. “Um, I'm really rather flattered, miss, but honestly, I'm a little concerned about your companions.”

Lori raises an eyebrow, failing utterly to fight a smile. “What about them? They're just fine, aren't you, boys?”

“Indubitably,” Gwiryn says. The rest nod or grunt, except for Myoc, who is too busy trying to shepherd Gamzee along. Your nose wrinkles. You've been trying not to notice the shaking, blank-eyed wreck trailing at the rear of the group. He threw up earlier, when you stopped to eat; actually remembering that you fucked him less than two days ago makes you feel slightly sick yourself.

Jake grins and scratches his hair one-handed. “Well, quite. I just thought that maybe you might be, um, in an arrangement. With Gwiryn, or Owain, or- or someone.”

You don't miss how everyone but Owain snorts with laughter. The Tuatha wizard himself narrows his eyes at Jake. “She is not involved with me,” he snaps.

Lori rolls her eyes. “No kidding. I'd have to be barmy to get Myoc's goat like that!”

You stifle a cough as you suddenly get the joke, but Jake just looks more confused than ever as he casts a glance back at the large half-orc.

“You- and Myoc?” he asks Lori. Unable to help herself any longer, the Tuatha woman dissolves into laughter. Owain's glare turns so murderous that you wonder whether he can accidentally cast deadly spells through his eyes.

Beside you, Dyffyd sighs. “Myoc and Owain,” he tells Jake. “And now, if you would kindly take mercy on us poor unattached souls and stop all this flirting and relationship talk while we're trying to make it out of the Deep Caverns alive and in one piece, I would be eternally grateful.”

“Taking all the fun out of, ain'tcha?” Lori says, reaching down and grabbing something that makes Jake yelp and scamper away from her. Gwiryn chuckles.

“You do realise she'll stop if you ask her to?” he calls back.

Jake shrugs. “Oh, it's not so bad,” he says, grinning slightly as Lori winks at him. “She's not half so grabby as those ladies back in Golgesi, and at least there aren't any abominable monsters trying to whisk me off to matrimony yet!”

Cracked laughter sounds, and you all come to a stop as Gamzee rests a hand against a wall and chokes out a horrible, dried-up sound. “Shit, brother,” he wheezes. “You forgetting on how that drow sister was all up and being in your business? 'Cos I sure as motherfuck ain't.”

Jake looks ill. “She- she wasn't!”

Gamzee snickers and fixes him with a sharp look, teeth glinting from behind a curtain of shaggy hair and paint. “You think I ain't knowin' that look when I'm seeing it? Even on some motherfucking TWISTED BLASPHEMY of a SPIDER?”

You snicker at Jake's expression and turn to keep walking, but as soon as your foot touches the ground you freeze. Beside you, Dyffyd jumps back slightly.

“What-” His words are cut off by a second tremor, a slight ripple in the rock that makes you all jump back towards each other.

“Earthquake?” asks the cleric, softly. You and Jake both shake your heads at once.

“Not in these mountains,” you reply. Everyone's hands drift towards their weapons, only to jerk away when a third jolt sends you all snatching for the nearest support. Gamzee falls onto his knees, clinging to an outcropping of rock, and as you straighten you see a magma-red glow coming from around the corner of the tunnel behind you.

“RUN!” shouts Dyffyd, and you all take off down the tunnel. It quickly becomes a shambles; the way is too narrow to let you all pass, and you weren't travelling in order of speed so the faster people are jammed up against the slower people and if anyone stops moving quickly someone is going to get trampled. The walls around you are shaking, and something nearby roars. The red glow is chasing you and you're warm with more than exertion. You don't stop moving.

There's a sense of space up ahead, a breath of cool air, and then you're scrambling to a halt to avoid tumbling into a deep, endless pit.

A chorus of shouts go up, names mangling together, but one rough voice is still screaming obscenities after the others fall silent.

“...BUGBRAINED FUCKWIT, WHAT THE BLISTERING BILGECROTCH ARE YOU DOING OVER THERE?”

Your heart leaps, because that's him, that's Karkles, Cherry-Eyes himself, and he's not only alive, he's healthy enough to holler down the mountain... and then your eyes, scanning across the pit and looking down to seek your comrade, see the other familiar figure watching you. A friend you knew was coming, but somehow never thought you'd see again.

You're grinning like a lunatic and you're about to call out to her when you feel it again, the terrible rumble under your feet, and remember why you ended up here in the first place.

“INCOMING!” you yell, and the roar sounds on the heels of your warning to herald the appearance of the deep, sanguine glow beneath you in the pit. Heat fills the air, carrying the choking scent of ash and sulphur with it. You shift your stance on the ledge and draw Incorruptible, still grinning in anticipation of the battle.

Maybe you will die here. But you will not do so lost, or alone.

There is a sound from the pit, a sound like leather and shifting armour and gusts of wind. You hear swearing in at least three different languages as out of the pit rises a great stony crest, gleaming black scales that part slightly to show flesh as red as fire, a triangular lizard-head with yellow eyes full of balefire and intelligence, and great bat-wings that rest over the hot thermals the creature rides up on. You have heard of things such as this, whispered of in the dark nights at the Temple with the other secrets best left faceless; creatures of the deep earth, called on by dark powers and darker hearts. This is no chance encounter; in your heart, you feel the fury of Kutsanmis and Yetenekli in its glare.

For what feels like forever, you stare at the dragon, and forget entirely to breathe. You're not alone; every last one of you is frozen, a silent tableau of wonder, weapons still ready as it lays one clawed foot on your ledge.

It is, ironically, a spell that breaks the enchantment. The arcane words crackle as they pass Owain's lips, and as soon as his hand presses against Myoc the orc starts to swell. Owain jumps back into the tunnel, ducking around the tunnel. Everyone else scrambles away as Myoc expands to twice his normal proportions.

Racking your mind for any knowledge you have of the creature, which turns out to be not much, you raise your sword to it in challenge. “I CALL JUSTICE UPON YOU!” you yell, and as the fragment of power shoots out to bind you to your foe you reach inside yourself for more. Pale light gleams as the power of the Seer closes around your blade, and you dart behind a rock for cover.

Gamzee grins at you, so many emotions mingling behind his eyes that you can’t even begin to guess at them all. “Hey, lawsis, looks like you were all up and being right about as how we was gonna be chased up and into Karkat all by a terrible monster. Nice of you to be motherfucking all telling us up in advance.”

From across the cavern you hear a loud _CRACK,_ heavy enough to shake the rock. The dragon roars in fury and pain, and a laughing voice shouts something in a language you don't understand. You can hear Karkat, too, telling someone to “just shoot the damn thing again, we don't all have ranged weapons!”

“I don’t have a clue what you’re on about!” you snap at Gamzee, your memory taunting you with your sarcasm from- was it only yesterday?

“Nope, he’s right!” Jake says, ducking down next to you. “I remember it too. You said- mph!”

You grin at him over the hand you now have across his mouth. “Want to finish that thought?”

Jake shakes his head and you let go just as Myoc lets out a roar of his own. You peer around the edge of the rock to see his normally placid face twisting, and you are glad that you're nowhere near the orc as he grips the haft of his now-larger weapon and swings it at the dragon's leg. He misses and rock crumbles under the force of the hammer-blow. You hear more loud cracks and bangs from across the cavern, and the dragon hisses in pain again.

A low note thrums and winds its way deep into your body; you glance over to see that Gwiryn has unslung the stringed instrument from his back and is playing it, back pressed against the other side of the tunnel to you.

 _“Blood and bone, steel and stone,”_ he sings, and the magic in the words is deep and powerful. Your grip on Incorruptible loosens as the fear flees you, because suddenly you know can do anything, achieve anything, and your comrades will be right there beside you.

_“Here we stand for kin and home.”_

Jake stumbles past your cover, muttering curses. “Blast it, blast it, that’s my bloody family out there, if only I had my godsdamned _pistol!”_ He stoops, fumbling on the ground until his fingers close around a rock, and in one motion he stands and hurls it at the dragon. You see it shook past and clatter harmlessly into the pit below. 

_“Blade and shield, we shall wield.”_

The dragon roars again and the rock shakes; its wings rattle in the air as it pushes off from the ledge. For a moment its belly shows, lurid cracks of orange-red in the black, and with a howl Myoc strikes again. This time the hammer is true; you hear the crack of scale and bone, and the mountain fills with an eerie scream of agony as the dragon flutters to regain its balance.

_“Hold our line and never yield.”_

You barely manage to duck behind your rock in time as the world explodes in heat and fire. It takes you too long to realise that the attack wasn’t even aimed at your group; looking across the chasm, you see charred rock, and Kanaya and an older dwarf staggering upright with two still figures at their feet.

_“We shall never cease, surrender.”_

The old dwarf howls in wordless grief, and raises something that looks a lot like Jake’s lost weapon once did. It lets out another impossibly loud crack, but instead of the projectile you expect white fire pours from the barrel of the weapon. The dragon shrieks as the magic washes across its wing, white frost washing into the cracks of its hide.

_“Bow our heads or flee in terror.”_

Beside you, Gamzee grabs a rock and jumps out after Jake. “HEY! MOTHERFUCKER! YOU ALL UP AND STAY THE MOTHERFUCK AWAY FROM MY BROTHER!” he yells, and hurls the rock. You watch, jaw dropping, as it slams square into the dragon’s eye. Gamzee howls in triumph as the dragon roars in pain, ichor dripping down its face, and you try in vain to believe what you just saw him do.

_“We shall fight with all our might.”_

From the other side of the cave, something the size of a closed fist flies towards the dragon. Snarling, the creature spins in the air and bats it away with its tail; there is a brief flash of light as the bomb explodes against a wall. Someone shouts something, three words that you don’t recognise but which ooze with arcane power, and fire runs across the dragon’s hide. It doesn’t seem to notice the flames, but the light makes its shadows dance across the walls until they die away. Faintly, you hear a voice yelling; “THIT!”

_“Stalwart hearts shall see us right.”_

More flashes of magic from below, where the other groups are clustered. You can’t hear spells over all the voices talking and shouting and screaming together, but you see a ray of white-blue power shoot past the dragon and freeze a patch of the wall into slick ice. Nearby, you see Dyffyd raise his arms, and suddenly you’re breathing in red-grey mist and the world is slowing to the pace of your own heartbeat.

It comes to you, in a burst of pure, clear understanding: you are going to kick some scaly _butt,_ and you are going to be _awesome_ about it.

You run out of your hiding place, past the chilling glow as Owain lances the dragon with an icy ray, eyes fixed on your target and feet pounding. Your heart is racing but there’s magic pushing you on, yours and everyone else’s, the power of the Seer and the Knight and any other god that’s behind you and you are _drunk_ on it. There are people shouting and trying to stop you but you ignore them; your foot hits the cracked rim of the ledge and without a moment’s hesitation you push off and leap into the void.

For the longest seconds of your life, it is just you, your panting, and the air. Then you crash face-first into a dragon’s back, and before you can even think you jam your sword down. The point skitters off hard scale but magic trails your hand and you strike again, the blade biting into soft red flesh. You grip the hilt and wrap your legs around a knobbly spine and fight to hold on as the dragon thrashes and bucks in the air. You taste blood, and realise it’s yours, and know that you don’t care.

“DON’T YOU EVEN FUCKING THINK ABOUT FALLING OFF THAT DRAGON, YOU BUGSHIT JUNKBRAINED BLUEBELLIED IDIOT!”

You grin because Karkat is screaming at you of all people, his voice carrying even over the cacophony of battle, and you do your utmost to do exactly as he says and stay attached to a creature five times your size that really, really wants you to fall off. You can see Myoc jumping up and down dangerously close to the ledge, waving his hammer uselessly across the gap you spanned with your leap. Dyffyd and Lori have grabbed hold of him and are trying to pull him back to safety, out of the way of the flailing tail or any more world-ending explosions of flame and vengeance.

“JAKE!” yells a woman’s voice; a dwarf, standing on the same ledge as Karkat. “ATTABOY! CATCH!”

A small object glints in the flickering dragonfire, twinkling as it arcs across the chasm. Even the dragon seems to still in the air to watch it pass over an abyss that could swallow it whole.

Jake leans out past Myoc, hand outstretched, and his gun drops into it like a bird coming home to roost. There’s less than a heartbeat between him catching the weapon and firing, straight between the eyes of the dragon that had turned to see the pistol fall, and from your position on the dragon’s back you are perfectly placed to see the metal slug blow out an exit through the back of the dragon’s skull.

Splattered with burning blood and draconic brain-matter, you twist Incorruptible free and kick off from the falling dragon in a desperate bid to reach rock. Your free hand reaches out, fingers outstretched for the opening you aimed at. You already know you’re falling short but you get close enough that your hand slams into rock. You grab on, fingers clenching, but it’s useless; you don’t even have a firm enough hold to slow your fall, and a scream tears out of you as you slide backwards towards a long, long, _long_ fall.

A hand wraps around your wrist, firm and warm, and your arm is almost yanked out of its socket as someone hauls you up onto the rocky ledge. You look up into the red eyes of a stranger, hooded and masked, who winks as he hauls you to safety.

“Gotta watch yourself on those flying magical lizards,” he says, dragging you away from the edge. “They’re terrible playmates.”

“Who-“ But before you can finish the question he’s gone, darting off into the shadows so fast that by the time you raise your head you can’t see him any more. Normally you’d go after him, but when you try to stand your legs are shaking so hard that you drop right back down again.

From some distance above you and to the left, you hear some shouting and a loud bang; the cavern rattles around you as what sounds like a small avalanche rains down from above.

“SOLLUX, WHAT THE DESECRATED FUCK WAS THAT?! ARE YOU TRYING TO GET TO TEREZI OR FLATTEN HER, YOU MUSH-HEADED MORON?”

You grin and roll over onto your back, letting your eyes close and your sword clatter onto the rock. You are exhausted, and exhilarated, and your head is swimming even as it drags you under.

Victory is sweet.

### Suggestions Used

 _1JakoftheMoon1 -_ Terezi: Predict highly unlikely but somewhat comedic disaster in a sarcastic manner. Be completely on the mark like 10 chapters later... on second thought, this should happen to as many characters as possible, but ESPECIALLY Terezi.

 _ttd0000 -_ Underdark groups: probably goes with out saying but, what Terezi said.

 _Craft -_ At least one Blood God worshipper: Be shown to be a calm, rational and often skeptical individual.

 _Massivedragon -_ Jake: Think Lori has a crush on, let's say, Myoc.

 _ttd0000 -_ Jake: Be thankful monsters aren't hitting on you yet.

 _1JakoftheMoon1 -_ Matriarchs: this internal strife is getting out of hand. Release (More like ask nicely) the resident Deep Dragon and get this subversive bull crap out of the way. I like dragons, and one had to appear EVENTUALLY.

 _1JakoftheMoon1 -_ Terezi: Reveal to someone that their objections are irrelevant because DRAGONS.

 _Aryashi -_ Everyone: POSE AS A TEAM CAUSE SHIT JUST GOT REAL

 _1JakoftheMoon1 -_ Party mash ups: Almost unfailingly turn into some sort of brawl that everyone enjoys (yes even you Jane). Physical or otherwise.

 _Scedasticity -_ Awesome stuff: happen.

 _UDMonk -_ Everyone: Be awesome. ...Again.

 _ladysekhmetka -_ Everyone in the Underdark: Kick ass, take names, and make new friends after the dust settles. (I just want one happy moment together before everyone gets split up again)

 _unholygrunt –_ Jade: Find your brother Jake.

 _nanrea -_ Jade: Reunite with your long lost brother during epic events

 _Craft -_ Gamzee: Shove Terezi's sarcastic prediction in her FACE when it happens.

 _Craft -_ Terezi: Say you don't know what he's talking about.

 _Craft -_ Jake: Confirm what she said about a series of comedic near-misses.

 _Craft -_ Terezi: Tell Jake to shut up. Or just cover his mouth.

 _sionnachsSkulk –_ Sollux: be more d00med the closer you get to Golgesi

 _Darwin G'wein -_ Gamzee: Leave your shit all down and unflipped like.

 _UDMonk -_ Gamzee: attack its motherfucking weak point for MOTHERFUCKING MASSIVE DAMAGE.

 _nanrea -_ Gamzee: ;oD

 _1JakoftheMoon1 -_ Terezi: tame the dragon. Be the rider.

 _Ms Arano -_ Terezi: R1D3 TH3 DR4GON. (there, I'm officially conspiring to get a dragon involved in this story ;p)

 _ttd0000 -_ Jake: Oneshot some horrible beasty as soon as you get your hands on your gun again.

 _Sandi -_ Myoc: Try not to do the other thing adventurer mentors also tend to do, which is getting killed dramatically!

 _1JakoftheMoon1 -_ Future Dave: Assist Jade and Karkat's groups, even if from behind the scenes.

 _1JakoftheMoon1 -_ Sollux: You know, the only thing that could ruin this collective victory would be another cave in.

 _Craft -_ Epic conflict in the Undercaverns: Be matched by the battle with the other group.

 _Craft -_ Both Conflicts: Be worth at least one level-up.

[System Notes](http://celynbrum.tumblr.com/post/55420107966/lodad-system-notes-chapter-66)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, that was complicated to orchestrate! So many plates spinning for the last couple of months. ALL THE PLATES.
> 
> Just a reminder that next week there will be no update, and then the week after will be a filler chapter of sorts. This is to enable an overhaul of the suggestions and to give me some semblance of a break after coordinating this mess.
> 
> See you soon!


	67. -- LEVEL THREE --

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Hero point votes:**  
>  Dave 4  
> Jane 2  
> Sollux 1  
> John 1  
> Jake 1  
> DAVE GAINS ONE HERO POINT!  
> Voting now open for the next Hero Point award: one person will get one after three chapters.  
> EVERYONE GAINS ONE HERO POINT FOR LEVELLING UP!
> 
>  **Current Hero Points:**  
>  John 2/5, Rose 2/5, Dave 2/3, Jade 2/3  
> Karkat 3/5, Gamzee 2/3, Terezi 2/5  
> Sollux 2/3, Aradia 2/3, Kanaya 3/5  
> Jane 2/5, Jake 1/5, Roxy 3/3, Dirk 2/3

JOHN EGBERT [FIGHTER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/fighter.html#_fighter) ([TWO-HANDED FIGHTER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/fighter.html#_two-handed-fighter)) 3  
NEUTRAL GOOD

TL:DR – Hits stronger and more accurately with powerful two-handed blows. Godmark now allows him to call on the winds to send a message on the breeze once a day.

[](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/sag5qckzisgbafz/John%20Egbert.png?dl=0)

BASIC STATISTICS  
GENDER: Male  
HAIR/EYES: Black hair, blue eyes  
HOMELAND: City of Porthaven (Outer Ring)  
DEITY: The Heir of Breath  
LANGUAGES: Common, High Elven  
RACE: Tuatha (High Elf)

ATTRIBUTES  
STRENGTH: 15[+2]  
DEXTERITY: 12[+1]  
CONSTITUTION: 12[+1]  
INTELLIGENCE: 10[+0]  
WISDOM: 12[+1]  
CHARISMA: 13[+1]

HIT POINTS: 24/24  
HERO POINTS: 2/5  
INITIATIVE: +1  
BASE SPEED/S: 30ft (land)

ARMOUR CLASS [AC]: 14  
TOUCH AC: 11  
FLAT-FOOTED AC: 13

BASE ATTACK BONUS [BAB]: +3  
BASIC MELEE ATTACK: +5  
BASIC RANGED ATTACK: +4  
COMBAT MANEUVER BONUS [CMB]: +5 (+6 for Sundering)  
COMBAT MANEUVER DEFENCE [CMD]: 16 (17 for Sundering)

SAVES  
FORTITUDE: +5  
REFLEX: +3  
WILL: +3

[WEAPONS/ATTACKS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_weapon-descriptions)  
[WARHAMMER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_warhammer) \- Wielded two-handed for greater damage, and with the option of Power Attack for greater damage with lower accuracy.  
[DAGGER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_dagger) \- Can be thrown, range 10ft.

EQUIPMENT - [CARRYING CAPACITY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/additionalRules.html#_carrying-capacity) (STR 16)

EQUIPMENT - ITEM SLOTS  
CLOTHING: ARTISAN'S OUTFIT  
This outfit consists of a shirt with buttons, drawstring pants, shoes, and a slightly battered hat. It also includes a belt for carrying small items such as a money pouch.

ARMOUR: MASTERWORK STUDDED LEATHER  
+3 armour bonus, +5 max DEX bonus, 0 Armour Check Penalty, 15% Arcane Spell Failure Chance, LIGHT  
SPECIAL: Masterwork armour has an Armour Check Penalty one lower than normal and can be enchanted.

EQUIPMENT - POSSESSIONS  
Warhammer 5lbs, Masterwork Studded Leather 20lbs, Dagger 1lb, Waterskin 4lbs

>BACKPACK, MASTERWORK 4lbs (Capacity 60lbs, +1 STR to carry loads)  
Tent (Medium, 2 people) 30lbs, Bedroll 5lbs, Parade Armour 20lbs

>POUCH, BELT 0.5lbs (Capacity 10lbs)  
Flint and Steel, Bird Feather Token [x2], Itching Powder [x1] 2lbs

TOTAL 93.5lbs (34.5lbs without backpack)

EQUIPMENT - MONEY  
0CP, 6SP, 60GP, 0PP  
OTHER:

SKILLS  
TRAINED  
BLUFF +4(3), DIPLOMACY +3(2), +KNOWLEDGE(DUNGEONEERING) +6(3), +PROFESSION(PORTHAVEN GUARD) +5(1)

UNTRAINED  
ACROBATICS +1*, APPRAISE +0, +CLIMB +2*, +CRAFT +0, DISGUISE +1, ESCAPE ARTIST +1*, HEAL +1, +INTIMIDATE +1, PERCEPTION +3, PERFORM +1, +RIDE +1*, SENSE MOTIVE +1, STEALTH +1*, +SURVIVAL +1, +SWIM +2*  
(FLY +1*)

*Armour Check Penalty: Skill at –0 due to armour worn.  
+Class Skill

FEATS  
[POWER ATTACK [REQUIRES: STR 13, BAB+1]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_power-attack)  
The character can make exceptionally deadly melee attacks by sacrificing accuracy for strength.

[FURIOUS FOCUS [REQUIRES: POWER ATTACK]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/advancedFeats.html#_furious-focus)   
Even in the midst of fierce and furious blows, the character can find focus in the carnage and his seemingly wild blows strike home.

[RACIAL ABILITIES: ELVEN](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advancedRaceGuide/coreRaces/elves.html#_elf-racial-traits)  
LANGUAGES - Tuatha begin play speaking Common and High Elven. Tuatha with high Intelligence scores can choose from the following: Celestial, Draconic, Gnoll, Gnome, Goblin, Orc, and Sylvan.

SPECIAL ABILITIES  
GODMARKED  
[HERO’S FORTUNE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/advancedNewRules.html#_hero's-fortune) \- Even at the start of his career, it was clear that the character had a chance at greatness, and his legend continues to grow with every adventure.  
[DEFLECTION AURA](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/cleric.html#_deflection-aura) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) - The character can emit an aura that makes nearby allies harder to hit for a short time dependent on his character level.  
EXTRA - The character receives a +1 resistance bonus on saving throws. This bonus increases by +1 for every 5 levels he possesses.  
[WHISPERING WIND](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/whisperingWind.html#_whispering-wind%0A) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) - Sends a short message 1 mile/level.

CLASS FEATURES  
WEAPON AND ARMOUR PROFICIENCY: FIGHTER  
A fighter is proficient with all simple and martial weapons and with all armour (heavy, light, and medium) and shields (including tower shields).

FEAT: [CLEAVE [REQUIRES: POWER ATTACK]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_cleave)  
The fighter can strike two adjacent foes with a single swing.

FEAT: [PUSHING ASSAULT [REQUIRES: STR 15, POWER ATTACK, BAB +1]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/advancedFeats.html#_pushing-assault)  
A strike made with a two-handed weapon can push a similar sized opponent backward.

[SHATTERING STRIKE (+1)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/fighter.html#_shattering-strike) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
At 2nd level, the two-handed fighter gains a bonus to sunder attempts and on damage rolls made against objects. 

[OVERHAND CHOP [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/fighter.html#_overhand-chop)   
At 3rd level, a two-handed fighter making a single attack with a two-handed weapon strikes more powerfully.

* * *

ROSE LALONDE [ORACLE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/baseClasses/oracle.html) \- [DARK TAPESTRY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spellcastingClassOptions/oracle.html#_dark-tapestry) ([SEER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spellcastingClassOptions/oracle.html#_seer_\(archetype\))) 3  
TRUE NEUTRAL

TL:DR – [EDIT] Mistake made when levelling, now corrected! New oracle powers now allow her to ascertain once a day whether a particular action will bring good or bad immediate results. Godmark now allows her to make a perfectly aimed strike once a day.

[](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/il67n14ylluufcn/Rose%20Lalonde.png?dl=0)

BASIC STATISTICS  
GENDER: Female  
HAIR/EYES: Blonde hair, purple eyes  
HOMELAND: City of Porthaven (Temple District)  
DEITY: The Seer of Light  
LANGUAGES: Common, Celestial, Abyssal, Draconic, Sylvan  
RACE: Aasimar

ATTRIBUTES  
STRENGTH: 8[-1]  
DEXTERITY: 12[+1]  
CONSTITUTION: 10[+0]  
INTELLIGENCE: 14[+2]  
WISDOM: 15[+2]  
CHARISMA: 17[+3]

HIT POINTS: 19/19  
HERO POINTS: 2/5  
INITIATIVE: +1  
BASE SPEED/S: 30ft (land)

ARMOUR CLASS [AC]: 13  
TOUCH AC: 11  
FLAT-FOOTED AC: 12

BASE ATTACK BONUS [BAB]: +2  
BASIC MELEE ATTACK: +1  
BASIC RANGED ATTACK: +3  
COMBAT MANEUVER BONUS [CMB]: +1  
COMBAT MANEUVER DEFENCE [CMD]: 12

SAVES  
FORTITUDE: +0  
REFLEX: +1  
WILL: +5

[WEAPONS/ATTACKS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_weapon-descriptions)  
[DAGGER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_dagger) \- Can be thrown, range 10ft.  
[COLOUR SPRAY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/colorSpray.html#_color-spray) [WAND](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/magicItems/wands.html#_wands) (3/Day) – Standard Action to activate, does not provoke Attacks of Opportunity. 

EQUIPMENT - [CARRYING CAPACITY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/additionalRules.html#_carrying-capacity) (STR 8)

EQUIPMENT - ITEM SLOTS  
CLOTHING: ENTERTAINER'S OUTFIT  
This set of flashy- perhaps even gaudy- clothes is for entertaining. While the outfit looks whimsical, its practical design lets the character tumble, dance, walk a tightrope, or just run if the audience turns ugly.

ARMOUR: LEATHER ARMOUR  
+2 armour bonus, +6 max DEX bonus, -0 Armour Check Penalty, 10% Arcane Spell Failure Chance, LIGHT

EQUIPMENT - POSSESSIONS  
Colour Spray Wand, Dagger 1lb, Leather Armour 15lbs, Waterskin 4lbs, Holy Symbol (Silver) 1lb, Signet Ring

>POUCH, BELT 0.5lbs (Capacity 10lbs)  
Flint and Steel, Sewing Needle, String/Twine [50ft] 0.5lbs

>POUCH, BELT 0.5lbs (Capacity 10lbs)  
Stationary, Sealing Wax 1lb, Ink (Black) [1oz. Vial], Ink (Purple) [1oz. Vial], Inkpen, Journal 1lb

TOTAL 24.5lbs

EQUIPMENT - MONEY  
9CP, 5SP, 17GP, 0PP  
OTHER:

SKILLS  
TRAINED  
+DIPLOMACY +10(2), +INTIMIDATE +8(2), +KNOWLEDGE HISTORY +6(1), +KNOWLEDGE NOBILITY +6(1), +KNOWLEDGE PLANES +11(3), +KNOWLEDGE RELIGION +8(3), +SENSE MOTIVE +7(2), +SPELLCRAFT +8(3), USE MAGIC DEVICE +5(2)

UNTRAINED  
ACROBATICS +1*, APPRAISE +2, BLUFF +3, CLIMB -1*, +CRAFT +2, +DISGUISE +3, ESCAPE ARTIST +1*, +HEAL +2, PERCEPTION +4, PERFORM +3, RIDE +1*, +STEALTH +1*, SURVIVAL +2, SWIM -1*  
(FLY +1*)

*Armour Check Penalty: Skill at –0 due to armour worn.  
+Class Skill

FEATS  
[COMBAT CASTING](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_combat-casting)  
The character is adept at spellcasting when threatened or distracted.

[SKILL FOCUS (KNOWLEDGE PLANES)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_skill-focus)   
The character is particularly adept at the selected skill.

[RACIAL ABILITIES: AASIMAR](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advancedRaceGuide/featuredRaces/aasimars.html#_aasimar-racial-traits)  
AASIMARS DO NOT COUNT AS OUTSIDERS FOR THE PURPOSE OF THIS SETTING.  
[DAYLIGHT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/daylight.html#_daylight) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Aasimars can touch an object and cause it to shed a brilliant light which drives back even magical darkness.  
LANGUAGES – Aasimars begin play speaking Common and Celestial. Aasimars with high Intelligence scores can choose any of the following bonus languages: Draconic, Dwarven, High Elven, Gnome, Halfling, and Sylvan.

SPECIAL ABILITIES  
GODMARKED  
[HERO’S FORTUNE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/advancedNewRules.html#_hero's-fortune) \- Even at the start of her career, it was clear that the character had a chance at greatness, and her legend continues to grow with every adventure.  
[LORE KEEPER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/cleric.html#_knowledge-domain) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] – The character can touch a creature to learn about its abilities and weaknesses.  
EXTRA – The character treats all Knowledge skills as class skills.  
[TRUE STRIKE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/trueStrike.html#_true-strike) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) - The character gains temporary, intuitive insight into the immediate future during her next attack.

CLASS FEATURES  
WEAPON AND ARMOUR PROFICIENCY: ORACLE  
Oracles are proficient with all simple weapons, light armour, medium armour, and shields (except tower shields).

[CURSE: TONGUES (Abyssal)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/baseClasses/oracle.html#_tongues)  
Whenever the oracle is in combat, she can only speak and understand the Abyssal tongue. She automatically knows the language and can speak it at other times voluntarily.

[REVELATION: NATURAL DIVINATION [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/baseClasses/oracle.html#_natural-divination)  
An oracle can read the entrails of a freshly killed animal, interpret the flights of birds, and chart marks in dirt or stone to gain small advantages at some point in the next day.

REVELATION: [GIFT OF PROPHECY [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spellcastingClassOptions/oracle.html#_gift-of-prophecy)(1 USE/DAY)  
Once per day, the Oracle can enter a trance to gain a glimpse of the future equivalent to the benefits of an [augury](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/augury.html#_augury) spell with 90% effectiveness.

SPELLS  
LEVEL 0 [At Will] Save DC 13  
[DETECT MAGIC](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/detectMagic.html#detect-magic), [GUIDANCE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/guidance.html#guidance), [LIGHT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/light.html#light), [READ MAGIC](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/readMagic.html#read-magic), [STABILIZE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/stabilize.html#stabilize)

LEVEL 1 [6/Day] Save DC 14  
[ABADAR'S](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/all-spells/a/abadar-s-truthtelling) [TRUTHTELLING](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/zoneOfTruth.html#zone-of-truth), [CURE LIGHT WOUNDS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/cureLightWounds.html#cure-light-wounds), [ENTROPIC SHIELD](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/entropicShield.html#_entropic-shield), [INFLICT LIGHT WOUNDS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/inflictLightWounds.html#inflict-light-wounds), [EMBRACE DESTINY](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/all-spells/e/embrace-destiny)

* * *

DAVE STRIDER [ROGUE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/rogue.html#_rogue) ([SWASHBUCKLER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/rogue.html#_swashbuckler)) 3  
TRUE NEUTRAL

TL:DR – Can now break a weapon on purpose to confirm a critical hit. Godmark allows him to check the physical condition of all nearby creatures once a day.

[](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/uzfpwx30poxj4xj/Dave%20Strider.png?dl=0)

BASIC STATISTICS  
GENDER: Male  
HAIR/EYES: Blonde hair, red eyes  
HOMELAND: City of Porthaven (No Fixed Abode)/The Greenweald Forest Region (No Fixed Abode)  
DEITY: The Knight of Time  
LANGUAGES: Common, Celestial, High Elven  
RACE: Aasimar

ATTRIBUTES  
STRENGTH: 14[+2]  
DEXTERITY: 15[+2]  
CONSTITUTION: 13[+1]  
INTELLIGENCE: 12[+1]  
WISDOM: 12[+1]  
CHARISMA: 10[+0]

HIT POINTS: 22/22  
HERO POINTS: 2/3  
INITIATIVE: +2  
BASE SPEED/S: 30ft (land)

ARMOUR CLASS [AC]: 15  
TOUCH AC: 12  
FLAT-FOOTED AC: 13

BASE ATTACK BONUS [BAB]: +2  
BASIC MELEE ATTACK: +4  
BASIC RANGED ATTACK: +4  
COMBAT MANEUVER BONUS [CMB]: +4  
COMBAT MANEUVER DEFENCE [CMD]: 16

SAVES  
FORTITUDE: +2  
REFLEX: +5  
WILL: +2

[WEAPONS/ATTACKS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_weapon-descriptions)  
CALIBURN (UNKNOWN [BASTARD SWORD](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_bastard-sword)) - This large hand-and-a-half weapon can magically repair itself when broken. Any other qualities of this weapon are as yet unknown.  
[LONGSWORD](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_longsword) \- [Fragile Quality](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/combat/primitiveArmorAndWeapons.html#fragile), can use two-handed for additional damage but cannot use buckler.  
[SHORTSWORD](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_shortsword)  
[DAGGER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_dagger) \- Can be thrown, range 10ft.

EQUIPMENT - [CARRYING CAPACITY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/additionalRules.html#_carrying-capacity) (STR 15)

EQUIPMENT - ITEM SLOTS  
CLOTHING: PICKPOCKET'S OUTFIT + MASK  
Outfitted with concealed pockets, this clothing gives the character a +2 bonus on hiding small objects on his person. It consists of a pull-on shirt with long sleeves, a loose jacket, drawstring pants, boots and a sturdy belt. The mask is an ornately decorated strip of dark fabric with eye-holes, that both mimics and mocks a stereotypical "bandit" mask.

ARMOUR: LEATHER ARMOUR  
+2 armour bonus, +6 max DEX bonus, -0 Armour Check Penalty, 10% Arcane Spell Failure Chance, LIGHT

SHIELD: BUCKLER  
+1 shield bonus, -1 Armour Check Penalty, 5% Arcane Spell Failure Chance  
SPECIAL: The character can use his shield arm to wield a weapon, but takes a -1 penalty on attack rolls while doing so, and loses the +1 shield bonus to AC until his next turn. It is not possible to shield bash with a buckler.

EQUIPMENT - POSSESSIONS  
Caliburn 6lbs, Longsword (Fragile) 4lbs, Shortsword 2lbs, Leather Armour 15lbs, Clothing (Mask, 3gp) 1lb, Buckler 5lbs, Dagger 1lb

>BACKPACK, MASTERWORK 4lbs (Capacity 60lbs, +1 STR to carry loads)  
Tent (Small, 1 person) 20lbs, Bedroll 5lbs, Kit (Cooking) 2lbs

>POUCH, BELT 0.5lbs (Capacity 10lbs)  
Flint and Steel, Whetstone 1lb

>POUCH, PATHFINDER 1lbs (Capacity 10lbs)[Extra-Dimensional Space, Command Word Activated, Does Not Detect As Magical]  
Tools (Thieves') 1lb, Waterskin 4lbs

TOTAL 65.5lbs (34.5lbs without backpack)

EQUIPMENT - MONEY  
8CP, 0SP, 3GP, 0PP  
OTHER:

SKILLS  
TRAINED  
+ACROBATICS +8(3)*, +APPRAISE +6(2), +BLUFF +9(3), +DISABLE DEVICE* +6(1), +ESCAPE ARTIST +8(3)*, +INTIMIDATE +5(2), +KNOWLEDGE LOCAL +6(2), +PERCEPTION +9(3), +PERFORM(ILL BEATS AND SICK FIRES) +5(2), +SLEIGHT OF HAND +7(2)*, +STEALTH +8(3)*, +USE MAGIC DEVICE +6(3)

UNTRAINED  
+CLIMB +2*, +CRAFT +1, +DIPLOMACY +2, +DISGUISE +0, HEAL +1, PERFORM +0, RIDE +2*, +SENSE MOTIVE +1, SURVIVAL +1, +SWIM +2*  
(FLY +2*)

*Armour Check Penalty: Skill at –1 due to armour worn.  
+Class Skill

FEATS  
[ SKILL FOCUS (BLUFF)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_skill-focus)  
The character is particularly adept at the chosen skill.

[DISPOSABLE WEAPON [REQUIRES: BAB+1, WEAPON PROFICIENCY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/ultimateCombatFeats.html#_disposable-weapon)   
The character ignores the limitations of his equipment, striking harder despite the damage it does to his weapon.

[RACIAL ABILITIES: AASIMAR](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advancedRaceGuide/featuredRaces/aasimars.html#_aasimar-racial-traits)  
AASIMARS DO NOT COUNT AS OUTSIDERS FOR THE PURPOSE OF THIS SETTING.  
[DAYLIGHT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/daylight.html#_daylight) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Aasimars can touch an object and cause it to shed a brilliant light which drives back even magical darkness.  
LANGUAGES – Aasimars begin play speaking Common and Celestial. Aasimars with high Intelligence scores can choose any of the following bonus languages: Draconic, Dwarven, High Elven, Gnome, Halfling, and Sylvan.

SPECIAL ABILITIES  
GODMARKED  
WEAPON PROFICIENCY (BASTARD SWORD)  
[INSPIRING COMMAND](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/cleric.html#_inspiring-command) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] – The character can issue an inspiring command to his allies, improving their accuracy, defence, and focus for a short time.  
[DEATHWATCH](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/deathwatch.html#_deathwatch) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) - The character can determine the condition of creatures near death within the spell's range.

CLASS FEATURES  
WEAPON AND ARMOUR PROFICIENCY: ROGUE  
Rogues are proficient with all simple weapons, plus the hand crossbow, rapier, sap, shortbow, and short sword. They are proficient with light armour, but not with shields.

[MARTIAL TRAINING [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY] (Longsword)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/rogue.html#_martial-training)  
At first level, the swashbuckler may select one martial weapon to add to his list of weapon proficiencies. In addition, he may take the combat trick rogue talent up to two times. 

[SNEAK ATTACK [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY] (+2d6 Precision Damage)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/rogue.html#_sneak-attack)  
A rogue can strike a vital spot for more damage whenever their foe is in a vulnerable position.

[EVASION](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/rogue.html#_evasion-rogue) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
At 2nd level and higher, the rogue can avoid even magical and unusual attacks with great agility.

[DARING [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/rogue.html#_daring)   
At 3rd level, the swashbuckler becomes more nimble and resistant to fear.

ROGUE TALENTS  
[BLEEDING ATTACK](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/rogue.html#_rogue-talents-bleeding-attack) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
A rogue with this ability can cause living opponents to bleed by hitting them with a sneak attack.

* * *

JADE HARLEY [DRUID](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/druid.html#_druid) ([WOLF SHAMAN](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/druid.html#_wolf-shaman)) 3  
NEUTRAL GOOD

TL:DR – Can make exceptionally deadly shots and pass through undergrowth without leaving a trail. Godmark now allows her to move with additional speed once a day.

[ ](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/j3ycsucgf308cn9/Jade%20Harley.png?dl=0)

BASIC STATISTICS  
GENDER: Female  
HAIR/EYES: Black hair, green eyes  
HOMELAND: The Greenweald Forest Region (The Whispering Grove)  
DEITY: The Witch of Space  
LANGUAGES: Common, High Elven, Sylvan, Druidic  
RACE: Tuatha (High Elf)

ATTRIBUTES  
STRENGTH: 8[-1]  
DEXTERITY: 15[+2]  
CONSTITUTION: 12[+1]  
INTELLIGENCE: 12[+1]  
WISDOM: 15[+2]  
CHARISMA: 12[+1]

HIT POINTS: 20/20  
HERO POINTS: 2/3  
INITIATIVE: +2  
BASE SPEED/S: 30ft (land)

ARMOUR CLASS [AC]: 13  
TOUCH AC: 12  
FLAT-FOOTED AC: 11

BASE ATTACK BONUS [BAB]: +2  
BASIC MELEE ATTACK: +1  
BASIC RANGED ATTACK: +4  
COMBAT MANEUVER BONUS [CMB]: +1  
COMBAT MANEUVER DEFENCE [CMD]: 13

SAVES  
FORTITUDE: +4  
REFLEX: +3  
WILL: +5

[WEAPONS/ATTACKS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_weapon-descriptions)  
[MASTERWORK MUSKET](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/combat/firearms.html#_musket)  
[SLING](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_sling) – Less damage from improvised ammunition.  
[DAGGER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_dagger) \- Can be thrown, range 10ft.

EQUIPMENT - [CARRYING CAPACITY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/additionalRules.html#_carrying-capacity) (STR 16)

EQUIPMENT - ITEM SLOTS  
CLOTHING: TRAVELLER'S OUTFIT  
This set of clothes consists of boots, a wool skirt, a sturdy belt, a shirt with a vest, and an ample cloak with a hood.

ARMOUR: PADDED ARMOUR  
+1 armour bonus, +8 max DEX bonus, -0 Armour Check Penalty, 5% Arcane Spell Failure Chance, LIGHT

SHOULDERS: [MULEBACK CORDS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/magicItems/wondrousItems.html#_muleback-cords)  
These thick leather cords wrap around the wearer's biceps and shoulders; when worn, they make the muscles appear larger than normal and allow her to carry far more than usual.

EQUIPMENT - POSSESSIONS  
Masterwork Musket 9lb, Sling, Padded Armour 10lbs, Muleback Cords 0.25lbs, Dagger 1lb, Waterskin 4lbs

>BACKPACK, COMMON 2lbs (Capacity 60lbs)  
Tent (Small, 1 person) 20lbs, Bedroll 5lbs, Rations (Trail) [x18] 18lbs

>POUCH, BELT 0.5lbs (Capacity 10lbs)  
Flint and Steel, Holly and Mistletoe, Fishhook, Whistle (Silent)

>POUCH, BELT 0.5lbs (Capacity 10lbs)  
Sling Bullets [x20] 10lbs, Firearm Bullets [x30] 0.5lbs 

>POWDER HORN 1lb (Capacity 10 x Black Powder)  
Black Powder [x10] [crafted at 10% cost]

>POWDER HORN 1lb (Capacity 10 x Black Powder)  
Black Powder [x10] [crafted at 10% cost]

>POWDER HORN 1lb (Capacity 10 x Black Powder)  
Black Powder [x10] [crafted at 10% cost]

TOTAL 83.25lbs (36.25lbs without backpack)

EQUIPMENT - MONEY  
0CP, 7SP, 550GP, 0PP  
OTHER:

SKILLS  
TRAINED  
+HEAL +8(1), +HANDLE ANIMAL +7(3), KNOWLEDGE (DUNGEONEERING) +3(2), +KNOWLEDGE(GEOGRAPHY) +6(2), +KNOWLEDGE(NATURE) +9(3), +PERCEPTION +8(1), +SPELLCRAFT +7(3), +SURVIVAL +12(3)

UNTRAINED  
ACROBATICS +2*, APPRAISE +1, BLUFF +1, +CLIMB -1*, +CRAFT +1, DIPLOMACY +1, DISGUISE +1, ESCAPE ARTIST +2*, INTIMIDATE +1, PERFORM +1, +RIDE +2*, SENSE MOTIVE +2, STEALTH +2*, SWIM -1*  
(+FLY +2*)

*Armour Check Penalty: Skill at –0 due to armour worn.  
+Class Skill

FEATS  
[SELF-SUFFICIENT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_self-sufficient)  
The character knows how to get along in the wild and how to effectively treat wounds.

[DEADLY AIM [REQUIRES: DEX 13, BAB +1]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_deadly-aim)   
The character can make exceptionally deadly ranged attacks by pinpointing a foe's weak spot, at the expense of making the attack less likely to succeed.

[RACIAL ABILITIES: ELVEN](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advancedRaceGuide/coreRaces/elves.html#_elf-racial-traits)  
LANGUAGES - Tuatha begin play speaking Common and High Elven. Tuatha with high Intelligence scores can choose from the following: Celestial, Draconic, Gnoll, Gnome, Goblin, Orc, and Sylvan.

SPECIAL ABILITIES  
GODMARKED  
WEAPON PROFICIENCY (MUSKET)  
[DIVINE VESSEL](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/cleric.html#_divine-vessel) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (4 USES/DAY) – The character can, whenever divine magic is cast on her, grant her nearby allies a boon on one of their next actions.  
[LONGSTRIDER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/longstrider.html#_longstrider) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) - This power gives the character a +10 foot enhancement bonus to her base speed.

CLASS FEATURES  
WEAPON AND ARMOUR PROFICIENCY: DRUID  
Druids are proficient with the following weapons: club, dagger, dart, quarterstaff, scimitar, scythe, sickle, shortspear, sling, and spear. They are also proficient with all natural attacks (claw, bite, and so forth) of any form they assume with wild shape.  
Druids are proficient with light and medium armour but are prohibited from wearing metal armour. Druids are proficient with shields (except tower shields) but must use only wooden ones. A druid who wears prohibited armour or uses a prohibited shield is unable to cast druid spells or use any supernatural or spell-like class abilities while doing so, and for 24 hours thereafter.

[SPONTANEOUS CASTING](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/druid.html#_spontaneous-casting-druid)  
A druid can channel stored spell energy to summon a creature to aid her.

[NATURE BOND [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/druid.html#wolf-shaman): ANIMAL COMPANION (BEC, [WOLF](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/monsters/wolf.html#_wolf))  
HIT POINTS: 15/15  
SIZE: Medium SPEED: 50ft  
STR 14[+2], DEX 16[+3], CON 15[+2], INT 2[-4], WIS 12[+1], CHA 6[-2]  
ATTACK:  
BAB: +2 ATTACK: BITE +4 (1d6+2), trip  
CMB: +4  
DEFENCE:  
AC: 19 (Natural Armour +5)  
CMD: 17  
SAVES: FORT 5, REF 6, WILL 2  
SKILLS:  
Survival 2, Perception 5, Intimidate -1  
FEATS:  
[Improved Natural Armour](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/additionalMonsters/monsterFeats.html#improved-natural-armor), [Dodge](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_dodge)  
TRICKS:  
Down – The animal breaks off from combat or otherwise backs down.  
Guard – The animal stays in place and prevents others from approaching.  
SPECIAL ABILITIES:  
[Low-Light Vision](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/glossary.html#_low-light-vision), [Scent](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/glossary.html#_scent), [Link](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/druid.html#_companions-link), [Share Spells](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/druid.html#_companions-share-spells), [Evasion](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/druid.html#_companions-evasion)

NATURE SENSE [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
A druid is more knowledgeable about nature and better able to survive in the wilderness.

WILD EMPATHY [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
A druid can communicate wordlessly with an animal, in the hope of making it more friendly towards the druid and her allies. A wolf shaman is particularly good at communicating with canines.

[WOODLAND STRIDE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/druid.html#_woodland-stride-druid) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
Starting at 2nd level, the druid may move through any sort of undergrowth (such as natural thorns, briars, overgrown areas, and similar terrain) at her normal speed.

[TOTEM TRANSFORMATION](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/druid.html#_wolf-shaman) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (2 MINUTES/DAY, STANDARD ACTION)  
At 2nd level, the wolf shaman may adopt an aspect of the wolf while retaining her normal form. She gains one of the following bonuses:  
>MOVEMENT (+20 enhancement bonus to land speed)  
>SENSES (low-light vision, +4 racial bonus to Survival when tracking by scent)  
>NATURAL WEAPONS (bite [1d4 plus trip], +2 CMB to trip)  
While using totem transformation, the wolf shaman may speak normally and can cast speak with animals (canines only) at will.

[TRACKLESS STEP [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/druid.html#_trackless-step)   
At 3rd level, the druid no longer leaves a trail in natural surroundings and cannot be tracked unless she chooses to be.

SPELLS  
[DRUID LEVEL 0](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/spell-lists-and-domains/spell-lists---druid#p0) [4 Prepared, At Will] Save DC 12  
+KNOW DIRECTION – You discern north.  
+MENDING – Makes minor repairs on an object.  
+SPARK – Ignites flammable objects. +STABILIZE – Cause a dying creature to stabilize.

[DRUID LEVEL 1](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/spell-lists-and-domains/spell-lists---druid#p1) [3/Day Prepared] Save DC 13  
++CURE LIGHT WOUNDS – Cures 1d8 damage +1/level (max +5).  
+ENTANGLE - Plants entangle everyone in 40-ft. radius.

[DRUID LEVEL 2](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/spell-lists-and-domains/spell-lists---druid#p2) [2/Day Prepared] Save DC 14  
+FOREST FRIEND - Plants in a forested area become helpful instead of hindering you and your allies.  
+WILDERNESS SOLDIERS – Nearby plants aid you in combat.

* * *

KARKAT VANTAS [FIGHTER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/fighter.html#_fighter) ([MOBILE FIGHTER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/fighter.html#_mobile-fighter)) 3  
TRUE NEUTRAL

TL:DR – Now considerably more nimble, even in heavier armour. Godmark now allows him to set a magical alarm on an area once a day.

[](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/11umnvjokvfc600/Karkat%20Vantas.png?dl=0)

BASIC STATISTICS  
GENDER: Male  
HAIR/EYES: White hair, red eyes  
HOMELAND: City of Golgesi (The Shanties)  
DEITY: The Knight of Blood  
LANGUAGES: Undercommon, High Elven, Drow Sign Language  
RACE: Drow (Dark Elf)

ATTRIBUTES  
STRENGTH: 14[+2]  
DEXTERITY: 17[+3]  
CONSTITUTION: 11[+0]  
INTELLIGENCE: 12[+1]  
WISDOM: 8[-1]  
CHARISMA: 12[+1]

HIT POINTS: 21/21  
HERO POINTS: 3/5  
INITIATIVE: +3  
BASE SPEED/S: 30ft (land)

ARMOUR CLASS [AC]: 18  
TOUCH AC: 14  
FLAT-FOOTED AC: 14

BASE ATTACK BONUS [BAB]: +3  
BASIC MELEE ATTACK: +5  
BASIC RANGED ATTACK: +6  
COMBAT MANEUVER BONUS [CMB]: +5  
COMBAT MANEUVER DEFENCE [CMD]: 18

SAVES  
FORTITUDE: +3  
REFLEX: +4  
WILL: +0

[WEAPONS/ATTACKS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_weapon-descriptions)  
[DUAL MASTERWORK SICKLES](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_sickle) – Two attacks a round at a reduced attack bonus, or one attack a round at normal attack bonus. This is a [trip](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/equipment.html#_trip) weapon.  
[DAGGER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_dagger) \- Can be thrown, range 10ft.

EQUIPMENT - [CARRYING CAPACITY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/additionalRules.html#_carrying-capacity) (STR 14)

EQUIPMENT - ITEM SLOTS  
CLOTHING: TRAVELLER'S OUTFIT  
This set of clothes consists of boots, a wool skirt or breeches, a sturdy belt, a shirt (perhaps with a vest or jacket), and an ample coat with a hood.

ARMOUR: MASTERWORK MITHRAL CHAIN SHIRT  
+4 armour bonus, +7 max DEX bonus, -0 Armour Check Penalty, 10% Arcane Spell Failure Chance, LIGHT  
SPECIAL: An item made from mithral weighs half as much as the same item made from other metals. Masterwork armour has an Armour Check Penalty one lower than normal and can be enchanted.

EQUIPMENT - POSSESSIONS  
Sickle [x2] 4lbs, Masterwork Mithral Chain Shirt 12.5lbs, Dagger 1lb, Waterskin 4lbs

>BACKPACK, COMMON 2lbs (Capacity 60lbs)  
Blanket (Common) 1lb, Rations (Trail) [x18] 18lb, Pesh Dose [x1], Compass 0.5lbs, Map [+1 circumstance bonus on Knowledge Dungeoneering checks made to navigate to the surface from Golgesi] 2lbs

>POUCH, BELT 0.5lbs (Capacity 10lbs)  
Flint and Steel, Charcoal Stick [x2], Whetstone 1lb, Potion of Remove Curse [x1], Potion of Cure Light Wounds [x1]

>IN CARE OF THYRI  
Pesh Dose [x4]

TOTAL 52.5lbs (21lbs without backpack)

EQUIPMENT - MONEY  
0CP, 0SP, 500GP, 0PP  
OTHER:

SKILLS  
TRAINED  
ACROBATICS +6(3)*, +CLIMB +6(1)*, +INTIMIDATE +6(2), KNOWLEDGE(LOCAL) +1(1), PERCEPTION +4(3), SENSE MOTIVE +1(2)

UNTRAINED  
APPRAISE +0, BLUFF +1, +CRAFT +0, DIPLOMACY +1, DISGUISE +1, ESCAPE ARTIST +3*, HEAL -1, PERFORM +1, +RIDE +3*, STEALTH +3*, +SURVIVAL -1, +SWIM +2*  
(FLY +3*)

*Armour Check Penalty: Skill at –0 due to armour worn.  
+Class Skill

FEATS  
[COMBAT REFLEXES](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_combat-reflexes)  
The character can make additional attacks of opportunity.

[DODGE [REQUIRES: DEX 13]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_dodge)   
The character's training and reflexes allow him to react swiftly to avoid an opponents' attacks.

[RACIAL ABILITIES: DROW](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advancedRaceGuide/featuredRaces/drow.html#_drow-racial-traits)  
[DANCING LIGHTS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/dancingLights.html#_dancing-lights) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Drow can create up to four illusory lights and direct their motion.  
[DARKNESS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/darkness.html#_darkness) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Drow can touch an object and cause it to radiate a deep darkness that dims even magical light.  
[FAERIE FIRE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/faerieFire.html#_faerie-fire) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Drow can cause a person to glow with a pale fire that clings to them even if they are not otherwise visible.  
LANGUAGES - Drow begin play speaking Undercommon and High Elven. Drow with high Intelligence can choose bonus languages from the following: Common, Dark Folk, Draconic, Drow Sign Language, Dwarven, Gnome, Goblin or Infernal.

SPECIAL ABILITIES  
GODMARKED  
[HERO’S FORTUNE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/advancedNewRules.html#_hero's-fortune) \- Even at the start of his career, it was clear that the character had a chance at greatness, and his legend continues to grow with every adventure.  
[INSPIRING COMMAND](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/cleric.html#_inspiring-command) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] – The character can issue an inspiring command to his allies, improving their accuracy, defence, and focus for a short time.  
[ALARM](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/alarm.html#_alarm) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) - Alarm creates a subtle ward on a selected area.

CLASS FEATURES  
WEAPON AND ARMOUR PROFICIENCY: FIGHTER  
A fighter is proficient with all simple and martial weapons and with all armour (heavy, light, and medium) and shields (including tower shields).

FEAT: [TWO-WEAPON FIGHTING [REQUIRES: DEX 15]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_two-weapon-fighting)  
The fighter can fight with a weapon wielded in each of his hands. He can make one extra attack each round with the secondary weapon.

FEAT: [WEAPON FOCUS (SICKLE) [REQUIRES: WEAPON PROFICIENCY, BAB +1]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_weapon-focus)  
The fighter gains a bonus on all attack rolls he makes using the selected weapon.

[AGILITY (+1)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/fighter.html#_agility) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
At 2nd level, the mobile fighter gains a bonus on saving throws made against effects that cause him to become paralysed, slowed, or entangled.

[ARMOUR TRAINING [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/fighter.html#_armor-training)   
At 3rd level, the fighter learns to be more manoeuvrable in armour and is less encumbered by heavier armour.

* * *

GAMZEE MAKARA [BARBARIAN](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/barbarian.html#_barbarian) 3  
CHAOTIC NEUTRAL

TL:DR – Now able to hit even harder, not that he needed to, and avoid being harmed by traps more easily. Godmark now allows him to double in size once a day.

[](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/2ehz6ry1ylp53ty/Gamzee%20Makara.png?dl=0)

BASIC STATISTICS  
GENDER: Male  
HAIR/EYES: White hair, purple eyes  
HOMELAND: City of Golgesi (House Kutsanmis Enclave)  
DEITY: The Bard of Rage  
LANGUAGES: Undercommon, High Elven  
RACE: Drow (Dark Elf)

ATTRIBUTES  
STRENGTH: 14[+2] (18[+4])  
WITHDRAWAL: 12(16): -1 to all STR  
DEXTERITY: 15[+2]  
PESH HIGH: 11: -2 to all DEX  
CONSTITUTION: 13[+1] (17[+3])  
WITHDRAWAL: 11(15): -1 to all CON  
INTELLIGENCE: 8[-1]  
WISDOM: 12[+1]  
PESH HIGH: 8: -2 to all WIS  
CHARISMA: 12[+1]

HIT POINTS: 30(36)/30(36) [+15 PESH HIGH- FIRST HOUR ONLY]  
HERO POINTS: 2/3  
INITIATIVE: +2  
BASE SPEED/S: 40ft (land)

ARMOUR CLASS [AC]: 16(14) [+1 VS TRAPS]  
TOUCH AC: 12(10)  
FLAT-FOOTED AC: 14(12)

BASE ATTACK BONUS [BAB]: +3  
BASIC MELEE ATTACK: +5(7)  
BASIC RANGED ATTACK: +5  
COMBAT MANEUVER BONUS [CMB]: +5(7)  
COMBAT MANEUVER DEFENCE [CMD]: 17(19)

SAVES  
FORTITUDE: +3(5) CURRENT PESH ADDICTION DC: 20  
REFLEX: +3 [+1 VS TRAPS]  
WILL: +4(6) PESH HIGH: +2 morale bonus versus fear effects.

[WEAPONS/ATTACKS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_weapon-descriptions)  
[WARHAMMER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_warhammer)  
[IMPROVISED WEAPONS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/equipment.html#_improvised-weapons) – Attack as per basic ranged or melee attack, and damage as per closest match on the weapon list. There is a +1 circumstance bonus to attack rolls for improvised splash weapons.

EQUIPMENT - [CARRYING CAPACITY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/additionalRules.html#_carrying-capacity) (STR 14/18)

EQUIPMENT - ITEM SLOTS  
CLOTHING: TRAVELLER'S OUTFIT  
This set of clothes consists of boots, wool breeches, a sturdy belt, a shirt (perhaps with a vest or jacket), and an ample coat with a hood.

ARMOUR: HIDE  
+4 armour bonus, +4 max DEX bonus, -3 Armour Check Penalty, 20% Arcane Spell Failure Chance, MEDIUM

EQUIPMENT - POSSESSIONS  
Hide Armour 25lbs, Warhammer 5lbs, Waterskin 4lbs

TOTAL 34lbs

EQUIPMENT - MONEY  
0CP, 8SP, 501GP, 0PP  
OTHER:  
[PESH COSTS 20GP/DOSE]

SKILLS  
TRAINED  
+ACROBATICS +6(1)*, +CRAFT(COOKING) +3(1), +INTIMIDATE +7(3), PERFORM(CHILL RHYMES) +3(2), STEALTH +5(3)*

UNTRAINED  
+ACROBATICS +2*, APPRAISE -1, BLUFF +1, +CLIMB +2*, +CRAFT +0, DIPLOMACY +1, DISGUISE +1, ESCAPE ARTIST +2*, HEAL +1, +PERCEPTION +1, PERFORM +1, +RIDE +2*, SENSE MOTIVE +1, +SURVIVAL +1, +SWIM +2*  
(FLY +2*)

*Armour Check Penalty: Skill at –3 due to armour worn  
+Class Skill

FEATS  
[THROW ANYTHING](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_throw-anything)  
The character is used to throwing things he has on hand.

[POWER ATTACK [REQUIRES: STR 13, BAB+1]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_power-attack)   
The character can make exceptionally deadly melee attacks by sacrificing accuracy for strength.

[RACIAL ABILITIES: DROW](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advancedRaceGuide/featuredRaces/drow.html#_drow-racial-traits)  
[DANCING LIGHTS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/dancingLights.html#_dancing-lights) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Drow can create up to four illusory lights and direct their motion.  
[DARKNESS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/darkness.html#_darkness) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Drow can touch an object and cause it to radiate a deep darkness that dims even magical light.  
[FAERIE FIRE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/faerieFire.html#_faerie-fire) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Drow can cause a person to glow with a pale fire that clings to them even if they are not otherwise visible.  
LANGUAGES - Drow begin play speaking Undercommon and High Elven. Drow with high Intelligence can choose bonus languages from the following: Common, Dark Folk, Draconic, Drow Sign Language, Dwarven, Gnome, Goblin or Infernal.

SPECIAL ABILITIES  
[PESH ADDICTION](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/mastery/drugsAndAddiction.html#_drugs-and-addiction) – [ADVENTURER'S ARMOURY VERSION](www.d20pfsrd.com/equipment---final/goods-and-services/herbs-oils-other-substances)  
A Pesh high lasts for one day. For the first hour, the character is tougher, and for the full day he is braver, but he is also uncoordinated, unfocused, and mentally pliable. When the character comes down from this high, he suffers physical weakness and fragility. Curing the addiction without magical intervention is a long and difficult process, requiring good physical health and complete abstinence.

GODMARKED  
CATCH OFF-GUARD: Foes are surprised by the character’s skilled use of unorthodox and improvised weapons.  
[DESTRUCTIVE SMITE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/cleric.html#_destruction-domain) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (4 USES/DAY)– The character can do more damage on a single melee attack, dependent on his character level.  
[ENLARGE PERSON](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/enlargePerson.html#_enlarge-person) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) - This power causes instant growth of a humanoid creature, doubling its height and multiplying its weight by 8.

CLASS FEATURES  
WEAPON AND ARMOUR PROFICIENCY: BARBARIAN  
A barbarian is proficient with all simple and martial weapons, light armour, medium armour and shields (except tower shields).

FAST MOVEMENT [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
A barbarian can move faster than other members of his race, so long as he is not heavily burdened.

[RAGE](paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/barbarian.html#_rage) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY] (9 ROUNDS/DAY)  
A barbarian can call on inner reserves of strength and ferocity, granting him additional combat prowess for a while but exhausting him when spent.

RAGE POWERS  
[INTIMIDATING GLARE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/barbarian.html#_rage-powers-intimidating-glare) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
While raging, the barbarian can make an Intimidate check against one adjacent foe and attempt to leave them shaken.

[UNCANNY DODGE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/barbarian.html#_uncanny-dodge-barbarian) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
At 2nd level, the barbarian gains the ability to react to danger before his senses would normally allow him to do so.

[TRAP SENSE [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/barbarian.html#_trap-sense-barbarian)   
At 3rd level, the barbarian becomes adept at avoiding traps.

* * *

TEREZI PYROPE [INQUISITOR](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/baseClasses/inquisitor.html) 3  
LAWFUL NEUTRAL

TL:DR – Can empower her Inquisitorial Judgements and will be able to act if surprised so long as one of her allies saw it coming. Godmark now allows her to magically disguise herself once a day.

[](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/wl6ml2kzprk9fvd/Terezi%20Pyrope.png?dl=0)

BASIC STATISTICS  
GENDER: Female  
HAIR/EYES: White hair, teal eyes  
HOMELAND: City of Golgesi (Temple Spire)  
DEITY: The Seer of Mind  
LANGUAGES: Undercommon, High Elven, Infernal  
RACE: Drow (Dark Elf)

ATTRIBUTES  
STRENGTH: 10[+0]  
DEXTERITY: 15[+2]  
CONSTITUTION: 12[+1]  
INTELLIGENCE: 12[+1]  
WISDOM: 15[+2]  
CHARISMA: 10[+0]

HIT POINTS: 21/21  
HERO POINTS: 2/5  
INITIATIVE: +4  
BASE SPEED/S: 30ft (land)

ARMOUR CLASS [AC]: 16  
TOUCH AC: 12  
FLAT-FOOTED AC: 14

BASE ATTACK BONUS [BAB]: +2  
BASIC MELEE ATTACK: +2  
BASIC RANGED ATTACK: +4  
COMBAT MANEUVER BONUS [CMB]: +2  
COMBAT MANEUVER DEFENCE [CMD]: 14

SAVES  
FORTITUDE: +4  
REFLEX: +3  
WILL: +5

[WEAPONS/ATTACKS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_weapon-descriptions)  
INCORRUPTIBLE ([SILVERSHEEN](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/equipment---final/special-materials#TOC-Silversheen) [SWORD CANE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/advancedGear.html#_sword-cane)) - A more accurate but less damaging weapon, all but immune to rusting away. [SWORD CANE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/advancedGear.html#_sword-cane) \- The blade is well-concealed in the cane.  
[CROSSBOW, LIGHT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_light-crossbow) – 20 ammunition  
[DAGGER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_dagger) \- Can be thrown, range 10ft.

EQUIPMENT - [CARRYING CAPACITY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/additionalRules.html#_carrying-capacity) (STR 10)

EQUIPMENT - ITEM SLOTS  
CLOTHING: EXPLORER'S OUTFIT  
This set of clothes is for someone who never knows what to expect. It includes sturdy boots, leather breeches, a belt, a shirt, gloves and a cloak. The clothes have plenty of pockets (especially the cloak). The outfit also includes any extra accessories the character might need, such as a scarf or a wide-brimmed hat.

ARMOUR: ARMOURED COAT  
+4 armour bonus, +3 max DEX bonus, -2 Armour Check Penalty, 20% Arcane Spell Failure Chance, MEDIUM  
SPECIAL: Can be donned or removed as a move action (there is no “don hastily” option for an armoured coat). If worn over other armour, use the better AC bonus and worse value in all other categories; an armoured coat has no effect if worn with heavy armour. The only magic effects that apply are those worn on top.

EQUIPMENT - POSSESSIONS  
Incorruptible (Silversheen Sword Cane) 4lbs, Crossbow (Light) 4lbs, Bolts (Crossbow) [x20] 2lb, Armoured Coat 20lbs, Eyeglasses, Holy Symbol (Copper) 0.5lb, Dagger 1lb, Waterskin 4lbs

>BACKPACK, COMMON 2lbs (Capacity 60lbs)  
Bedroll 5lb, Blanket (Common) 1lb, Rope (Hemp) [50ft] 10lbs, Sword Cane 4lbs, Manacles 2lbs 

>POUCH, BELT 0.5lbs (Capacity 10lbs)  
Flint and Steel, Whetstone 1lb, Bandages of Rapid Recovery 1lb, Potion of Cure Light Wounds [x1], Wound Paste [x3] 0.5lbs, Charcoal Stick [x1], Page of Karkat's Journal

TOTAL 44lbs (28lbs without backpack)

EQUIPMENT - MONEY  
8CP, 9SP, 503GP, 0PP  
OTHER:

SKILLS  
TRAINED  
+BLUFF +6(3), +DIPLOMACY +6(3), +INTIMIDATE +7(3), +KNOWLEDGE DUNGEONEERING +7(3), +KNOWLEDGE LOCAL +5(1), +KNOWLEDGE RELIGION +7(3), +PERCEPTION +8(3), +PROFESSION(GOLGESI LAWKEEPER) +6(1), +SENSE MOTIVE +9(3)

UNTRAINED  
ACROBATICS +2*, APPRAISE +1, +CLIMB +0*, +CRAFT +1, +DISGUISE +0, ESCAPE ARTIST +2*, +HEAL +2, PERFORM +0, +RIDE +2*, STEALTH +2*, SURVIVAL +2, SWIM +0*  
(FLY +2*)

*Armour Check Penalty: Skill at –2 due to armour worn.  
+Class Skill

FEATS  
[BLIND-FIGHT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_blind-fight%0A)  
The character is skilled at attacking opponents that she cannot clearly perceive.

[JUDGMENT SURGE [REQUIRES: JUDGMENT CLASS FEATURE]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/ultimateMagicFeats.html#_judgment-surge) (1 USE/DAY)  
Once per day, the power of the character's faith surges, further empowering her judgements.

[RACIAL ABILITIES: DROW](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advancedRaceGuide/featuredRaces/drow.html#_drow-racial-traits)  
[DANCING LIGHTS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/dancingLights.html#_dancing-lights) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Drow can create up to four illusory lights and direct their motion.  
[DARKNESS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/darkness.html#_darkness) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Drow can touch an object and cause it to radiate a deep darkness that dims even magical light.  
[FAERIE FIRE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/faerieFire.html#_faerie-fire) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Drow can cause a person to glow with a pale fire that clings to them even if they are not otherwise visible.  
LANGUAGES - Drow begin play speaking Undercommon and High Elven. Drow with high Intelligence can choose bonus languages from the following: Common, Dark Folk, Draconic, Drow Sign Language, Dwarven, Gnome, Goblin or Infernal.

SPECIAL ABILITIES  
GODMARKED  
[HERO’S FORTUNE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/advancedNewRules.html#_hero's-fortune) \- Even at the start of her career, it was clear that the character had a chance at greatness, and her legend continues to grow with every adventure.  
[LORE KEEPER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/cleric.html#_knowledge-domain) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] – The character can touch a creature to learn about its abilities and weaknesses.  
EXTRA – The character treats all Knowledge skills as class skills.  
[DISGUISE SELF](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/disguiseSelf.html#_disguise-self) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) - The character's appearance changes— potentially including clothing, armor, weapons, and equipment. She cannot change her creature type, but otherwise the extent of the apparent change is up to her.

CLASS FEATURES  
WEAPON AND ARMOUR PROFICIENCY: INQUISITOR  
An inquisitor is proficient with all simple weapons, plus the hand crossbow, longbow, repeating crossbow, shortbow, and the favoured weapon of her deity (THE SEER OF MIND favours the SWORD CANE). She is also proficient with light armour, medium armour, and shields (except tower shields).

DOMAIN: [INQUISITION (Justice)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spellcastingClassOptions/inquisitor.html#_justice-inquisition)  
JUDICIOUS FORCE [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (2 USES/DAY)  
The inquisitor or an ally next to her has a better chance of doing a massively damaging strike to their foe.

[JUDGEMENT](paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/baseClasses/inquisitor.html#_judgment) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY)  
The inquisitor can gain one of several abilities for a combat, so long as she is able to participate in the action. She can also switch which ability she is using partway through.

MONSTER LORE [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
The inquisitor is skilled at identifying the abilities and weaknesses of creatures.

STERN GAZE [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
Inquisitors are skilled at sensing deception and intimidating their foes.

[DETECT ALIGNMENT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/baseClasses/inquisitor.html#_detect-alignment) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY]  
At will, the inquisitor can use _detect chaos, detect evil, detect good_ or _detect law._ She can only use one of these at any given time.

[TRACK](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/baseClasses/inquisitor.html#_track) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
At 2nd level, the inquisitor adds half her level on Survival skill checks made to follow or identify tracks.

[SOLO TACTICS [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/baseClasses/inquisitor.html#_solo-tactics)   
At 3rd level, the Inquisitor can make use of her teamwork feats as if her allies had the same feats as she did, although only she can reap the benefits.

[TEAMWORK FEAT: LOOKOUT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/advancedFeats.html#_lookout)   
The inquisitor's allies help her avoid being surprised.

SPELLS  
LEVEL 0 [At Will] Save DC 12  
[BRAND](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/spells/brand.html#_brand), [DAZE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/daze.html#_daze), [DETECT MAGIC](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/detectMagic.html#_detect-magic), [DETECT POISON](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/detectPoison.html#_detect-poison), [SIFT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/spells/sift.html#_sift), [STABILIZE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/stabilize.html#_stabilize)

LEVEL 1 [4/Day] Save DC 13  
[COMPREHEND LANGUAGES](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/comprehendLanguages.html#_comprehend-languages), [CURE LIGHT WOUNDS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/cureLightWounds.html#_cure-light-wounds), [DIVINE FAVOUR](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/divineFavor.html#_divine-favor), [PERSUASIVE GOAD](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spells/persuasiveGoad.html#_persuasive-goad)

* * *

SOLLUX CAPTOR [SORCERER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/sorcerer.html#_sorcerer) \- [ARCANE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/sorcerer.html#_arcane) ([SAGE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spellcastingClassOptions/sorcerer.html#_sage))/[DESTINED](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/sorcerer.html#_destined) ([KARMIC](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spellcastingClassOptions/sorcerer.html#_karmic)) ([CROSSBLOODED](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spellcastingClassOptions/sorcerer.html#_crossblooded-\(archetype\)) [WORDCASTER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/ultimateMagicWordsOfPower.html)) 3  
CHAOTIC NEUTRAL

TL:DR – Is now more adept at casting spells in combat, and in general. Gained a sorcerous power that makes him better at identifying magic stuff. Godmark now allows him to fill his enemies with fear and doubt once a day.

[](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/kgu19nfbaxeezfh/Sollux%20Captor.png?dl=0)

BASIC STATISTICS  
GENDER: Male  
HAIR/EYES: White hair, one red and one blue eye  
HOMELAND: The Greenweald Forest Region (No Fixed Abode)  
DEITY: The Mage of Doom  
LANGUAGES: Common, High Elven, Orc, Infernal, Undercommon  
RACE: Halfbreed (Drow/Tiefling)

ATTRIBUTES  
STRENGTH: 12[+1]  
DEXTERITY: 14[+2]  
CONSTITUTION: 13[+1]  
INTELLIGENCE: 17[+3]  
WISDOM: 8[-1]  
CHARISMA: 10[+0]

HIT POINTS: 19/19  
HERO POINTS: 2/3  
INITIATIVE: +2  
BASE SPEED/S: 30ft (land)

ARMOUR CLASS [AC]: 13  
TOUCH AC: 12  
FLAT-FOOTED AC: 11

BASE ATTACK BONUS [BAB]: +1  
BASIC MELEE ATTACK: +2  
BASIC RANGED ATTACK: +3  
COMBAT MANEUVER BONUS [CMB]: +2  
COMBAT MANEUVER DEFENCE [CMD]: 14

SAVES  
FORTITUDE: +2  
REFLEX: +3  
WILL: +2

[WEAPONS/ATTACKS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_weapon-descriptions)  
[SHURIKEN](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_shuriken) \- 5 Ammunition

EQUIPMENT - [CARRYING CAPACITY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/additionalRules.html#_carrying-capacity) (STR 13)

EQUIPMENT - ITEM SLOTS  
CLOTHING: EXPLORER'S OUTFIT  
This set of clothes is for someone who never knows what to expect. It includes sturdy boots, leather breeches, a belt, a shirt with a jacket, gloves and a cloak. The clothes have plenty of pockets (especially the cloak). The outfit also includes any extra accessories the character might need, such as a scarf or a wide-brimmed hat.

NECK: HAUNTED BROKEN AMULET OF THE LABYRINTH (SIR WILLIAM COSBIE)  
Effect Unknown

WRISTS: [BRACERS OF ARMOUR +1](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/magicItems/wondrousItems.html#_bracers-of-armor)  
These items appear to be wrist or arm guards. They surround the wearer with an invisible but tangible field of force, granting him an armour bonus of +1, just as though he were wearing armour. Both bracers must be worn for the magic to be effective.

EQUIPMENT - POSSESSIONS  
Shuriken [x5] 0.5lb, Bracers of Armour +1 1lb, Eyeglasses, Haunted Broken Amulet of the Labyrinth

>BACKPACK, MASTERWORK 4lbs (Capacity 60lbs, +1 STR to carry loads)  
Tent (Medium, 2 people) 30lbs, Bedroll [x2] 10lbs, Mysterious Journal 3lbs

TOTAL 48.5lbs (1.5lbs without backpack)

EQUIPMENT - MONEY  
0CP, 8SP, 513GP, 0PP  
OTHER:

SKILLS  
TRAINED  
APPRAISE +6(3), +KNOWLEDGE ARCANA +11(3), +KNOWLEDGE DUNGEONEERING +8(2), +KNOWLEDGE HISTORY +7(1), +SPELLCRAFT +11(3), +USE MAGIC DEVICE +7(3)

UNTRAINED  
+ACROBATICS +2*, +BLUFF -1, CLIMB +1*, +CRAFT +3, DIPLOMACY +0, DISGUISE +0, ESCAPE ARTIST +2*, HEAL -1, +INTIMIDATE +0, PERCEPTION -1, PERFORM +0, RIDE +2*, SENSE MOTIVE +0, STEALTH +0*, SURVIVAL -1, SWIM +1*  
(+FLY +2*)

*Armour Check Penalty: Skill at –0 due to armour worn.  
+Class Skill

FEATS  
EXTRA WORD [CASTER LEVEL 1ST IN BARD, ORACLE OR SORCERER]   
The character has uncovered a new word of power.

[COMBAT CASTING](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_combat-casting)   
The character is adept at spellcasting when threatened or distracted.

[RACIAL ABILITIES: HALF-ELF](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advancedRaceGuide/coreRaces/halfElves.html#_half-elf-racial-traits) ([ALTERNATE RACIAL TRAITS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advancedRaceGuide/coreRaces/halfElves.html#_alternate-racial-traits))  
ATTRIBUTE SHIFT - +2 Intelligence.  
DROW-BLOODED – Replaces Low-Light Vision.  
ELVEN IMMUNITIES.  
MIXED BLOOD – The character counts as both Drow and Tiefling for any effect related to race. Replaces Elf Blood.  
WARY – Replaces Keen Senses.  
DUAL MINDED – Replaces Adaptability.  
ARCANE TRAINING – Replaces Multitalented.  
LANGUAGES – Halfbreeds begin play speaking Common and High Elven. Halfbreeds with high Intelligence scores can choose any language as a bonus language (except secret languages, such as Druidic).

SPECIAL ABILITIES  
GODMARKED  
WEAPON PROFICIENCY (SHURIKEN)  
[ARCANE BEACON](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/cleric.html#_arcane-beacon) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (3 USES/DAY) – The character can emanate an aura that makes spells cast near him more powerful and harder to resist.  
[BANE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/bane.html#_bane) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) - Bane fills enemies with fear and doubt, and counters and dispels Bless.

CLASS FEATURES  
WEAPON AND ARMOUR PROFICIENCY: SORCERER  
Sorcerers are proficient with all simple weapons. They are not proficient with any type of armour or shield. Armour interferes with a sorcerer's gestures, which can cause his spells with somatic components to fail.

FEAT: [ESCHEW MATERIALS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_eschew-materials)  
The character can cast many spells without needing to utilize minor material components.

BLOODLINE: [CROSSBLOODED](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spellcastingClassOptions/sorcerer.html#_crossblooded-%28archetype%29) [SAGE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spellcastingClassOptions/sorcerer.html#_sage)/[KARMIC](paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spellcastingClassOptions/sorcerer.html#_karmic)  
CLASS SKILL: Knowledge (Any One: Dungeoneering) and Knowledge History.  
BLOODLINE ARCANA: Unlike most sorcerers, the character understands and masters his magic through intellect rather than force of personality, and has a better understanding of arcane forces as a result. Additionally, if he fails to cast when under threat, the creature that disrupted his concentration is left vulnerable to attack.  
DRAWBACK: A crossblooded sorcerer has one fewer spell known at each level, and is weaker willed.  
BLOODLINE POWERS:  
1\. ARCANE BOLT [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (6 USES/DAY): The sorcerer can unleash a ray of magical force as an attack, increasing in power dependant on the sorcerer's class level.  
2.[ METAMAGIC ADEPT [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/sorcerer.html#_arcane) (1 USE/DAY): At 3rd level, the Sage Sorcerer can apply metamagic feats to his spells without any reduction in casting speed.

SPELLS: BLOODLINE SPELLS (CAN BE USED INSTEAD OF EQUIVALENT LEVEL WORDSPELL)  
LEVEL 1 – [IDENTIFY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/identify.html#_identify)(Gives a bonus to identifying the properties and command words of magic items in the caster's possession.)  


SPELLS: [WORDS OF POWER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/ultimateMagicWordsOfPower.html#_words-of-power)  
LEVEL 0 [At Will] Save DC 13  
One Effect Word Only (Level 0)

LEVEL 1 [6/Day] Save DC 14  
One Effect Word Only (Level 1 or lower)

[EFFECT WORDS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/wordsOfPower/effectWords.html)   
[FLAME JET (Fire 0)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/wordsOfPower/effectWords/fireWords.html#_flame-jet-%28fire%29), [LIFT (Gravity 0)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/wordsOfPower/effectWords/gravityWords.html#_lift-%28gravity%29), [FORCE BLOCK (Armor 0)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/wordsOfPower/effectWords/armorWords.html#_force-block-%28armor%29)  
[BURNING FLASH (Fire 1)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/wordsOfPower/effectWords/fireWords.html#_burning-flash-%28fire%29), [GLIDE (Flight 1)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/spells/glide.html#_glide-), [SHOCK ARC (Electricity 1)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/wordsOfPower/effectWords/electricityWords.html#_shock-arc-%28electricity%29)

[TARGET WORDS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/wordsOfPower/targetWords.html)   
CONE (Target 0), PERSONAL (Target 0), SELECTED (Target 0)  
BURST (Target 1), LINE (Target 1)  
BARRIER (Target 3)

[META WORDS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/wordsOfPower/metaWords.html)   
(NOTE: META WORDS CAN ONLY BE USED ½ WORDCASTER LEVEL TIMES PER DAY)  
BOOST (Meta 0), DISTANT (Meta 0)

* * *

ARADIA MEGIDO [SORCERER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/sorcerer.html#_sorcerer) \- [DREAMSPUN](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/sorcerer.html#_dreamspun) 3  
TRUE NEUTRAL

TL:DR – Is now much faster off the mark when trouble kicks off. Due to GM error, has gained an additional first-level spell to compensate for already knowing her bloodline spell for this level. Godmark now allows her to check the physical condition of all nearby creatures once a day.

[ ](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/7ub9bd7pt8m7sv0/Aradia%20Megido.png?dl=0)

BASIC STATISTICS  
GENDER: Female  
HAIR/EYES: Black hair, red eyes  
HOMELAND: The Greenweald Forest Region (No Fixed Abode)  
DEITY: The Maid of Time  
LANGUAGES: Common, Infernal, Orc, High Elven  
RACE: Tiefling

ATTRIBUTES  
STRENGTH: 8[-1]  
DEXTERITY: 12[+1]  
CONSTITUTION: 12[+1]  
INTELLIGENCE: 15[+2]  
WISDOM: 14[+2]  
CHARISMA: 13[+1] (15[+2])

HIT POINTS: 16/16  
HERO POINTS: 2/3  
INITIATIVE: +6  
BASE SPEED/S: 30ft (land)

ARMOUR CLASS [AC]: 11  
TOUCH AC: 11  
FLAT-FOOTED AC: 10

BASE ATTACK BONUS [BAB]: +1  
BASIC MELEE ATTACK: +0  
BASIC RANGED ATTACK: +2  
COMBAT MANEUVER BONUS [CMB]: +0  
COMBAT MANEUVER DEFENCE [CMD]: 11

SAVES  
FORTITUDE: +2  
REFLEX: +2  
WILL: +5

[WEAPONS/ATTACKS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_weapon-descriptions)  
[WHIP](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_whip) \- This is a [nonlethal](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/equipment.html#_nonlethal), [reach](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/equipment.html#_reach-weapons), [disarm](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/equipment.html#_disarm), [trip](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/equipment.html#_trip) weapon. A whip deals no damage to any creature with an armour bonus of +1 or higher, or a natural armour bonus of +3 or higher. Using a whip provokes an attack of opportunity, just as if the character had used a ranged weapon.

EQUIPMENT - [CARRYING CAPACITY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/additionalRules.html#_carrying-capacity) (STR 8)

EQUIPMENT - ITEM SLOTS  
CLOTHING: EXPLORER'S OUTFIT  
This set of clothes is for someone who never knows what to expect. It includes sturdy boots, leather skirt, a belt, a shirt with a vest, gloves and a cloak. The clothes have plenty of pockets (especially the cloak). The outfit also includes any extra accessories the character might need, such as a scarf or a wide-brimmed hat.

EQUIPMENT - POSSESSIONS  
Whip 2lbs, Waterskin 4lbs

>POUCH, BELT 0.5lbs (Capacity 10lbs)  
Rope (Silk) [50ft] 5lbs, String/Twine [50ft] 0.5lbs, Sewing Needle, Compass 0.5lbs, Kit (Map Making) [Anyone using this kit to draw a map as they travel receives a +2 circumstance bonus on Survival skill checks to avoid becoming lost] 2lbs, Wayfinder 1lb, Swan Boat Feather Token [x1]

>POUCH, BELT 0.5lbs (Capacity 10lbs)  
Kit (Cooking) 2lbs  
Rations (Wandermeal) [x10] [Eating this tough, dried cake for over a week without other nutrients causes the eater to feel ill] 5lbs

TOTAL 23lbs

EQUIPMENT - MONEY  
3CP, 3SP, 539GP, 0PP  
OTHER:

SKILLS  
TRAINED  
+ACROBATICS +5(1)*, CLIMB +1(2)*, KNOWLEDGE DUNGEONEERING +4(2), KNOWLEDGE HISTORY +5(3), SURVIVAL +5(3), SWIM +1(2)* +USE MAGIC DEVICE +6(2)

UNTRAINED  
APPRAISE +2, +BLUFF +1, +CRAFT +2, DIPLOMACY +1, DISGUISE +1, ESCAPE ARTIST +1*, HEAL +2, +INTIMIDATE +1, PERCEPTION +2, PERFORM +1, RIDE +1*, +SENSE MOTIVE +2, STEALTH +1*  
(+FLY +1*)

*Armour Check Penalty: Skill at –0 due to armour worn.  
+Class Skill

FEATS  
[COMBAT CASTING](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_combat-casting)  
The character is adept at spellcasting when threatened or distracted.

[IMPROVED INITIATIVE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_improved-initiative)   
The character's quick reflexes allow her to react rapidly to danger.

[RACIAL ABILITIES: TIEFLING](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advancedRaceGuide/featuredRaces/tieflings.html#_tiefling-racial-traits)  
TIEFLINGS DO NOT COUNT AS OUTSIDERS FOR THE PURPOSE OF THIS SETTING.  
SORCEROUS GIFT - Tiefling sorcerers treat their Charisma score as 2 points higher for all sorcerer class abilities.  
[DARKNESS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/darkness.html#_darkness) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Tieflings can touch an object and cause it to radiate a deep darkness that dims even magical light.  
LANGUAGES - Tieflings begin play speaking Common and either Abyssal or Infernal. Tieflings with high Intelligence scores can choose any of the following bonus languages: Abyssal, Draconic, Dwarven, High Elven, Gnome, Goblin, Halfling, Infernal, and Orc.

SPECIAL ABILITIES  
GODMARKED  
WEAPON PROFICIENCY (WHIP)  
[BINDING TIES](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/cleric.html#_binding-ties) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (4 USES/DAY) – The character can temporarily take the suffering as an ally onto herself, rendering them temporarily immune to the condition for a short time dependent on her character level.  
[DEATHWATCH](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/deathwatch.html#_deathwatch) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY](1 USE/DAY) - The character can determine the condition of creatures near death within the spell's range.

CLASS FEATURES  
WEAPON AND ARMOUR PROFICIENCY: SORCERER  
Sorcerers are proficient with all simple weapons. They are not proficient with any type of armour or shield. Armour interferes with a sorcerer's gestures, which can cause her spells with somatic components to fail.

FEAT: [ESCHEW MATERIALS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_eschew-materials)  
The character can cast many spells without needing to utilize minor material components.

BLOODLINE: [DREAMSPUN](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/sorcerer.html#_dreamspun)  
CLASS SKILL: Sense Motive.  
BLOODLINE ARCANA: Whenever the character targets a single creature with a spell, she is briefly better protected against attacks made by that foe.  
BLOODLINE POWERS:  
1\. [ LULLABY [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/lullaby.html#_lullaby) (5 USES/DAY): The character can make another creature drowsy, rendering them less perceptive and more susceptible to sleep magic.  
2.[ COMBAT PRECOGNITION [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/sorcerer.html#_combat-precognition)  
At 3rd level, the sorcerer’s insight into the future makes her faster to react to threats.

SPELLS  
LEVEL 0 [At Will] Save DC 12  
[DETECT MAGIC](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/detectMagic.html#_detect-magic), [MAGE HAND](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/mageHand.html#_mage-hand), [MESSAGE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/message.html#_message), [PRESTIDIGITATION](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/prestidigitation.html#_prestidigitation), [RAY OF FROST](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/rayOfFrost.html#_ray-of-frost)

LEVEL 1 [6/Day] Save DC 13  
[HYPNOTISM](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/hypnotism.html#_hypnotism), [MAGIC MISSILE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/magicMissile.html#_magic-missile), [UNSEEN SERVANT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/unseenServant.html#_unseen-servant), [SLEEP](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/sleep.html#_sleep)

* * *

KANAYA MARYAM [CLERIC](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/cleric.html#_cleric) 3  
TRUE NEUTRAL

TL:DR – Is now more adept at casting spells in combat, and ability to channel divine energy is more powerful. Godmark now allows her to move with additional speed once a day.

[](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/08069btcqrm4oee/Kanaya%20Maryam.png?dl=0)

BASIC STATISTICS  
GENDER: Female  
HAIR/EYES: White hair, green eyes  
HOMELAND: City of Golgesi (Temple Spire)/The Greenweald Forest Region (No Fixed Abode)  
DEITY: The Sylph of Space  
LANGUAGES: Undercommon, High Elven  
RACE: Drow (Dark Elf)

ATTRIBUTES  
STRENGTH: 13[+1]  
DEXTERITY: 10[+0]  
CONSTITUTION: 12[+1]  
INTELLIGENCE: 10[+0]  
WISDOM: 15[+2]  
CHARISMA: 14[+2]

HIT POINTS: 21/21  
HERO POINTS: 3/5  
INITIATIVE: +0  
BASE SPEED/S: 30ft (land)

ARMOUR CLASS [AC]: 14  
TOUCH AC: 10  
FLAT-FOOTED AC: 14

BASE ATTACK BONUS [BAB]: +2  
BASIC MELEE ATTACK: +3  
BASIC RANGED ATTACK: +2  
COMBAT MANEUVER BONUS [CMB]: +3  
COMBAT MANEUVER DEFENCE [CMD]: 13

SAVES  
FORTITUDE: +5  
REFLEX: +2  
WILL: +6

[WEAPONS/ATTACKS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_weapon-descriptions)  
[MASTERWORK SAWTOOTH SABRE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_sawtooth-sabre) \- This weapon counts as “light" for the purposes of two-weapon fighting.  
[SHIELD BASH, LIGHT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/equipment.html#_shield-bash-attacks) \- Treat as “light" for the purposes of two-weapon fighting, and lose shield bonus to AC when used as a weapon.  
[DAGGER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_dagger) \- Can be thrown, range 10ft.

EQUIPMENT - [CARRYING CAPACITY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/additionalRules.html#_carrying-capacity) (STR 13)

EQUIPMENT - ITEM SLOTS  
CLOTHING: EXPLORER'S OUTFIT  
This set of clothes is for someone who never knows what to expect. It includes sturdy boots, a leather overtunic over a cloth skirt, a belt, a shirt, gloves and a cloak. The clothes have plenty of pockets (especially the cloak). The outfit also includes any extra accessories the character might need, such as a scarf or a wide-brimmed hat.

ARMOUR: STUDDED LEATHER ARMOUR  
+3 armour bonus, +5 max DEX bonus, -1 Armour Check Penalty, 15% Arcane Spell Failure Chance, LIGHT

SHIELD: LIGHT WOODEN SHIELD  
+1 shield bonus, -1 Armour Check Penalty, 5% Arcane Spell Failure Chance  
SPECIAL: The character can bash an opponent with a light shield. Used this way, a light shield is a martial bludgeoning weapon. For the purpose of penalties on attack rolls, treat a shield as a light weapon. If she uses her shield as a weapon, she loses its AC bonus until her next turn.

SHOULDERS: [CLOAK OF RESISTANCE +1](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/magicItems/wondrousItems.html#_cloak-of-resistance)  
This garment offers magical protection in the form of a +1 resistance bonus on all saving throws.

EQUIPMENT - POSSESSIONS  
Masterwork Sawtooth Sabre 2lbs, Studded Leather Armour 20lbs, Shield (Light Wooden) 5lbs, Cloak of Resistance +1 1lb, Eyeglasses, Holy Symbol (Wooden), Dagger 1lb, Waterskin 4lbs

>BACKPACK, COMMON 2lbs (Capacity 60lbs)  
Tent (Small, 1 person) 20lbs, Bedroll 5lbs, Kit (Healer's) [This collection of bandages and herbs provides a +2 circumstance bonus on Heal checks. A healer's kit is exhausted after 10 uses] 1lb, Karkat's Tattered Journal 3lbs

>POUCH, BELT 0.5lbs (Capacity 10lbs)  
Flint and Steel, Whetstone 1lb, String/Twine [50ft] 0.5lbs, Sewing Needle  
Rations (Wandermeal) [x4] [Eating this tough, dried cake for over a week without other nutrients causes the eater to feel ill] 2lbs

TOTAL 67lbs (36lbs without backpack)

EQUIPMENT - MONEY  
9CP, 2SP, 13GP, 0PP  
OTHER:

SKILLS  
TRAINED  
+CRAFT(APPAREL) +5(2), +DIPLOMACY +8(3), +HEAL +6(1), +KNOWLEDGE RELIGION +5(2)

UNTRAINED  
ACROBATICS +0*, +APPRAISE +0, BLUFF +2, CLIMB +1*, +CRAFT +0, DISGUISE +2, ESCAPE ARTIST +0*, INTIMIDATE +2, PERCEPTION +2, PERFORM +2, RIDE +0*, +SENSE MOTIVE +2, STEALTH +0*, SURVIVAL +2, SWIM +1*  
(FLY +0*)

*Armour Check Penalty: Skill at –2 due to armour worn.  
+Class Skill

FEATS  
[ SELECTIVE CHANNELING [REQUIRES: CHA 13, CHANNEL ENERGY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_selective-channeling) (CAN EXCLUDE: 2)  
The character can choose whom to affect when she channels energy.

[COMBAT CASTING](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_combat-casting)   
The character is adept at spellcasting when threatened or distracted.

[RACIAL ABILITIES: DROW](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advancedRaceGuide/featuredRaces/drow.html#_drow-racial-traits)  
[DANCING LIGHTS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/dancingLights.html#_dancing-lights) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Drow can create up to four illusory lights and direct their motion.  
[DARKNESS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/darkness.html#_darkness) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Drow can touch an object and cause it to radiate a deep darkness that dims even magical light.  
[FAERIE FIRE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/faerieFire.html#_faerie-fire) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Drow can cause a person to glow with a pale fire that clings to them even if they are not otherwise visible.  
LANGUAGES - Drow begin play speaking Undercommon and High Elven. Drow with high Intelligence can choose bonus languages from the following: Common, Dark Folk, Draconic, Drow Sign Language, Dwarven, Gnome, Goblin or Infernal.

SPECIAL ABILITIES  
GODMARKED  
[HERO’S FORTUNE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/advancedNewRules.html#_hero's-fortune) \- Even at the start of her career, it was clear that the character had a chance at greatness, and her legend continues to grow with every adventure.  
[RENEWED STRENGTH](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/classes/core-classes/cleric/domains/3rd-party-publishers---domains/4-winds-fantasy-gaming---domains/renewal-domain) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (5 USES/DAY) – The character can cure her allies of exhaustion, fatigue, sickness and nausea with a touch.  
[LONGSTRIDER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/longstrider.html#_longstrider) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY](1 USE/DAY) - This power gives the character a +10 foot enhancement bonus to her base speed.

CLASS FEATURES  
WEAPON AND ARMOUR PROFICIENCY: CLERIC  
Clerics are proficient with all simple weapons, light armour, medium armour, and shields (except tower shields). Clerics are also proficient with the favoured weapon of their deities (THE SYLPH OF SPACE favours the SAWTOOTH SABRE).

[CHANNEL ENERGY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/cleric.html#_channel-energy-cleric) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (5 USES/DAY, DC13, 2D6)  
The cleric can channel positive energy through her holy symbol, choosing to either deal damage to undead creatures or to heal living creatures in a burst of holy power.

SPONTANEOUS CASTING  
The cleric can channel stored spell energy into healing spells that she hasn't prepared ahead of time. She can "lose" any prepared spell that is not an orison or domain spell in order to cast any cure spell of the same spell level or lower.

DOMAINS: [CHARM](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/cleric.html#_charm-domain) ([LOVE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/cleric.html#_love-subdomain)) AND [DEATH](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/cleric.html#_death-domain) ([UNDEAD](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/cleric.html#_undead-subdomain))  
DOMAIN POWERS: ADORATION [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (5 USES/DAY) – The cleric can attempt to thwart a single physical attack against her person.  
DOMAIN POWERS: [DEATH'S KISS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/cleric.html#_death%27s-kiss) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (5 USES/DAY) – The cleric can cause a creature to take on some of the traits of the undead with a touch.

SPELLS  
[CLERIC LEVEL 0](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/spell-lists-and-domains/spell-lists---cleric#p0) [4 Prepared, At Will] Save DC 12  
+MENDING – Makes minor repairs on an object.  
+PURIFY FOOD AND DRINK – Purifies 1 cubic ft/level of food or water.  
+SPARK – Ignites flammable objects.  
+STABILIZE – Cause a dying creature to stabilize.

[CLERIC LEVEL 1](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/spell-lists-and-domains/spell-lists---cleric#p1) [3/Day+1 Prepared] Save DC 13  
DOMAIN SPELLS:  
CHARM PERSON – Makes one person your friend.  
+CAUSE FEAR – One creature of 5HD or less flees for 1d4 rounds.  
  
+ABUNDANT AMMUNITION – Replaces nonmagical ammunition every round.  
++BLESS – Allies gain +1 on attack rolls and saves against fear.

[CLERIC LEVEL 2](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/spell-lists-and-domains/spell-lists---cleric#p2) [2/Day+1 Prepared] Save DC 14  
DOMAIN SPELLS:  
ENTHRALL - Captivates all within 100 ft. + 10 ft./level.  
+[GHOUL TOUCH](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/ghoulTouch.html#_ghoul-touch) \- Paralyzes one subject, which exudes stench that makes those nearby sickened.  
  
+[BLOOD OF THE MARTYR](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/all-spells/b/blood-of-the-martyr) \- Target bleeds from orifices, enabling other creatures to sup the blood to regain hit points. 1D6/4 levels (max 4d6) damage/healing.  
+CURE MODERATE WOUNDS - Cures 2d8 damage + 1/level (max +10).

* * *

JANE CROCKER [RANGER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/ranger.html#_ranger) ([URBAN RANGER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/ranger.html#_urban-ranger)) 3  
LAWFUL GOOD

TL:DR – Better at fighting with her shield as a secondary weapon, and now has bonuses to feats of endurance and when operating within the Adventurer's Quarter of various cities and towns. Godmark now allows her to cure light wounds once a day.

[](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/4kodis325z81mra/Jane%20Crocker.png?dl=0)

BASIC STATISTICS  
GENDER: Female  
HAIR/EYES: Black hair, blue eyes  
HOMELAND: City of Porthaven (Outer Ring)  
DEITY: The Maid of Life  
LANGUAGES: Common, High Elven, Celestial, Orc  
RACE: Tuatha (High Elf)

ATTRIBUTES  
STRENGTH: 15[+2]  
DEXTERITY: 15[+2]  
CONSTITUTION: 12[+1]  
INTELLIGENCE: 10[+0]  
WISDOM: 12[+1]  
CHARISMA: 10[+0]

HIT POINTS: 26/26  
HERO POINTS: 2/5  
INITIATIVE: +2  
BASE SPEED/S: 30ft (land)

ARMOUR CLASS [AC]: 17  
TOUCH AC: 12  
FLAT-FOOTED AC: 15

BASE ATTACK BONUS [BAB]: +3  
BASIC MELEE ATTACK: +5  
BASIC RANGED ATTACK: +5  
COMBAT MANEUVER BONUS [CMB]: +5  
COMBAT MANEUVER DEFENCE [CMD]: 17

SAVES  
FORTITUDE: +4  
REFLEX: +5  
WILL: +2

[WEAPONS/ATTACKS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_weapon-descriptions)  
[TRIDENT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_trident) \- This is a [brace](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/equipment.html#_brace) weapon. Can be thrown, range 10ft.  
[SHIELD BASH, LIGHT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/equipment.html#_shield-bash-attacks) \- Treat as “light" for the purposes of two-weapon fighting, and lose shield bonus to AC when used as a weapon.  
[DAGGER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_dagger) \- Can be thrown, range 10ft.

EQUIPMENT - [CARRYING CAPACITY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/additionalRules.html#_carrying-capacity) (STR 16)

EQUIPMENT - ITEM SLOTS  
CLOTHING: ARTISAN'S OUTFIT  
This outfit consists of a blouse with buttons, drawstring skirt, shoes, and a neat cloth cap. It also includes a cloth apron for carrying small items such as a money pouch.

ARMOUR: MASTERWORK STUDDED LEATHER  
+3 armour bonus, +5 max DEX bonus, 0 Armour Check Penalty, 15% Arcane Spell Failure Chance, LIGHT  
SPECIAL: Masterwork armour has an Armour Check Penalty one lower than normal and can be enchanted.

SHIELD: LIGHT STEEL SHIELD  
+2 shield bonus, -1 Armour Check Penalty, 5% Arcane Spell Failure Chance  
SPECIAL: The character can bash an opponent with a light shield. Used this way, a light shield is a martial bludgeoning weapon. For the purpose of penalties on attack rolls, treat a shield as a light weapon. If she uses her shield as a weapon, she loses its AC bonus until her next turn.

EQUIPMENT - POSSESSIONS  
Trident 4lbs, Masterwork Studded Leather 20lbs, Shield (Light Steel) 6lbs, Dagger 1lb, Waterskin 4lbs

>BACKPACK, MASTERWORK 4lbs (Capacity 60lbs, +1 STR to carry loads)  
Bedroll 5lbs, Kit (Cooking) 2lbs, Rations (Trail) [x6] 6lb, Parade Armour 20lbs, Elixir of Truth [x1], Elixir of Vision [x1]

>POUCH, BELT 0.5lbs (Capacity 10lbs)  
Flint and Steel, Manacles 2lbs, Map [+1 circumstance bonus on Survival checks made to navigate in the Greenweald Forest region] 2lbs

TOTAL 76.5lbs (39.5lbs without backpack)

EQUIPMENT - MONEY  
0CP, 2SP, 73GP, 0PP  
OTHER:

SKILLS  
TRAINED  
ACROBATICS +6(3)*, +CRAFT(COOKING) +6(3), DISGUISE +1(1), +KNOWLEDGE LOCAL +5(2), +PERCEPTION +7(3), SENSE MOTIVE +6(2), +STEALTH +7(2)*, +SURVIVAL +7(3)

UNTRAINED  
+APPRAISE +0, BLUFF +0, +CLIMB +2*, CRAFT +0, +DIPLOMACY +0, ESCAPE ARTIST +2*, +HEAL +1, +INTIMIDATE +0, PERFORM +0, +RIDE +2*, +SWIM +2*  
(FLY +2*)

*Armour Check Penalty: Skill at –0 due to armour worn.  
+Class Skill

FEATS  
[ COSMOPOLITAN](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/advancedFeats.html#_cosmopolitan) (APPRAISE AND DIPLOMACY)  
Living in large, exotic cities has put the character in touch with many diverse civilizations, cultures, and races.

[TWO-WEAPON FIGHTING [REQUIRES: DEX 15]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_two-weapon-fighting)  
The character can fight with a weapon wielded in each of her hands. She can make one extra attack each round with the secondary weapon.

[RACIAL ABILITIES: ELVEN](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advancedRaceGuide/coreRaces/elves.html#_elf-racial-traits)  
LANGUAGES - Tuatha begin play speaking Common and High Elven. Tuatha with high Intelligence scores can choose from the following: Celestial, Draconic, Gnoll, Gnome, Goblin, Orc, and Sylvan.

SPECIAL ABILITIES  
GODMARKED  
[HERO’S FORTUNE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/advancedNewRules.html#_hero's-fortune) \- Even at the start of her career, it was clear that the character had a chance at greatness, and her legend continues to grow with every adventure.  
[BINDING TIES](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/cleric.html#_binding-ties) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (3 USES/DAY) – The character can temporarily take the suffering as an ally onto herself, rendering them temporarily immune to the condition for a short time dependent on her character level.  
[CURE LIGHT WOUNDS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/cureLightWounds.html#_cure-light-wounds) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY](1 USE/DAY) - When laying her hand upon a living creature, the character channels positive energy that cures 1d8 points of damage + 1 point per caster level (maximum +5).

CLASS FEATURES  
WEAPON AND ARMOUR PROFICIENCY: RANGER  
A ranger is proficient with all simple and martial weapons and with light armour, medium armour and shields (except tower shields).

[FAVOURED ENEMY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/ranger.html#_favored-enemy) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY] - HUMANOID (ELF)  
A ranger is better at attacking and damaging their favoured enemies. They spot them, track them, lie to them and understand them better, and know more about them than other similar creatures.

TRACK [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
A ranger is better at following or identifying tracks.

WILD EMPATHY [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
A ranger can communicate wordlessly with an animal, in the hope of making it more friendly towards the ranger and her allies.

COMBAT STYLE FEAT: [SHIELD FOCUS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_shield-focus) [REQUIRES: SHIELD PROFICIENCY, BAB +1]  
Increase the defensive bonus granted by any shield you are using.

[FAVOURED COMMUNITY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/ranger.html#_favored-community) (ADVENTURER'S QUARTER)  
At 3rd level, the urban ranger forms a bond with a community. While inside the limits of this community, she gains numerous bonuses to knowledge, tracking and survival, as well as being untrackable herself.

[FEAT: ENDURANCE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_endurance)   
The character is more readily able to handle prolonged physical activity and deprivation, and may sleep in light or medium armour without becoming fatigued.

SPELLS  
START AT LEVEL 4

* * *

JAKE ENGLISH [GUNSLINGER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/classes/gunslinger.html) ([PISTOLERO](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/classArchetypes/gunslinger.html#_pistolero-\(archetype\))) 3  
CHAOTIC GOOD

TL:DR – Improved chances of hitting opponents he cannot see, and a variety of cool pistol tricks like pistol-whipping in melee and blasting open locks. Godmark now allows him to magically instil courage in others once a day.

[](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/rg51x3q5hwd48ji/Jake%20English.png?dl=0)

BASIC STATISTICS  
GENDER: Male  
HAIR/EYES: Black hair, green eyes  
HOMELAND: Quartzkin Clanhold  
DEITY: The Page of Hope  
LANGUAGES: Common, High Elven, Dwarven  
RACE: Tuatha (High Elf)

ATTRIBUTES  
STRENGTH: 13[+1]  
DEXTERITY: 16[+3]  
CONSTITUTION: 10[+0]  
INTELLIGENCE: 10[+0]  
WISDOM: 15[+2]  
CHARISMA: 10[+0]

HIT POINTS: 22/22  
HERO POINTS: 1/5  
INITIATIVE: +3(+5 if holding Grit)  
BASE SPEED/S: 30ft (land)

ARMOUR CLASS [AC]: 18  
TOUCH AC: 14  
FLAT-FOOTED AC: 14

BASE ATTACK BONUS [BAB]: +3  
BASIC MELEE ATTACK: +4  
BASIC RANGED ATTACK: +6  
COMBAT MANEUVER BONUS [CMB]: +4  
COMBAT MANEUVER DEFENCE [CMD]: 17

SAVES  
FORTITUDE: +3  
REFLEX: +6  
WILL: +3

[WEAPONS/ATTACKS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_firearms-table)  
[HEAVY PICK](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_heavy-pick)  
[MASTERWORK GUNSLINGER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/classes/gunslinger.html#_gunsmith) [PISTOL](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/combat/firearms.html#_pistol) \- Ammunition 30 bullets, 30 black powder charges (both required to fire).

EQUIPMENT - [CARRYING CAPACITY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/additionalRules.html#_carrying-capacity) (STR 14)

EQUIPMENT - ITEM SLOTS  
CLOTHING: TRAVELLER'S OUTFIT  
This set of clothes consists of boots, wool breeches, a sturdy belt, a shirt (perhaps with a vest or jacket), and an ample coat with a hood.

CLOTHING: ADVENTURER'S SASH  
This bandoleer holds six pouches along its length and a satchel at the hip. Each pouch has a stiff leather flap that can be secured against jostling with a clasp (requiring a move action to open or close) or left unfastened for easier access. The pouches and satchel each contain a number of loops and ties for further securing equipment. The sash buckles at the shoulder, and can be freed with a sharp tug in an emergency as a move action.

ARMOUR: MASTERWORK MITHRAL CHAIN SHIRT  
+4 armour bonus, +6 max DEX bonus, -0 Armour Check Penalty, 10% Arcane Spell Failure Chance, LIGHT  
SPECIAL: An item made from mithral weighs half as much as the same item made from other metals. Masterwork armour has an Armour Check Penalty one lower than normal and can be enchanted.

EQUIPMENT - POSSESSIONS  
Heavy Pick 6lbs, Masterwork Gunslinger Pistol 4lbs, Bolts (Crossbow) [x20] 2lb, Masterwork Mithral Chain Shirt 12.5lbs, Dagger 1lb, Waterskin 4lbs

>BACKPACK, MASTERWORK 4lbs (Capacity 60lbs, +1 STR to carry loads)  
Bedroll 5lbs, Blanket (Common) 1lb, Kit (Cooking) 2lbs, Rations (Trail) [x20] 20lb

>LEATHER SATCHEL 1lbs (Capacity 35lbs)  
Moonrod [x17], All Tools Vest (Unidentified), Healer's Kit [10 uses, +2] 1lb

>POUCH, BELT 0.5lbs (Capacity 10lbs)  
Flint and Steel, Compass 0.5lbs, Wound Paste [x3] 0.5lbs

>POWDER HORN 1lb (Capacity 10 x Black Powder)  
Black Powder [x10] [crafted at 10% cost]

>POWDER HORN 1lb (Capacity 10 x Black Powder)  
Black Powder [x10] [crafted at 10% cost]

>POWDER HORN 1lb (Capacity 10 x Black Powder)  
Black Powder [x10] [crafted at 10% cost]

TOTAL 61lbs (28.5lbs without backpack)

EQUIPMENT - MONEY  
0CP, 0SP, 500GP, 0PP  
OTHER:

SKILLS  
TRAINED  
+ACROBATICS +8(2)*, +CLIMB +5(1)*, +CRAFT(ALCHEMY) +6(3),*DISABLE DEVICE +1(1), KNOWLEDGE DUNGEONEERING +3(3), LINGUISTICS +1(1), +SURVIVAL +6(1), USE MAGIC DEVICE +2(2)

UNTRAINED  
APPRAISE +0, +BLUFF +0, CRAFT +0, DIPLOMACY +0, DISGUISE +0, ESCAPE ARTIST +3*, +HEAL +2, +INTIMIDATE +0, +PERCEPTION +2, PERFORM +0, +RIDE +3*, SENSE MOTIVE +2, STEALTH +3*, +SWIM +1*  
(FLY +3*)

*Armour Check Penalty: Skill at –0 due to armour worn.  
+Class Skill

FEATS  
[ RAPID RELOAD (PISTOL) [REQUIRES: WEAPON PROFICIENCY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/ultimateCombatFeats.html#_rapid-reload)  
The character can reload pistols quickly.

[BLIND-FIGHT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_blind-fight)   
The character is skilled at attacking opponents that he cannot clearly perceive.

[RACIAL ABILITIES: ELVEN](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advancedRaceGuide/coreRaces/elves.html#_elf-racial-traits)  
LANGUAGES - Tuatha begin play speaking Common and High Elven. Tuatha with high Intelligence scores can choose from the following: Celestial, Draconic, Gnoll, Gnome, Goblin, Orc, and Sylvan.

SPECIAL ABILITIES  
GODMARKED  
[HERO’S FORTUNE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/advancedNewRules.html#_hero's-fortune) \- Even at the start of his career, it was clear that the character had a chance at greatness, and his legend continues to grow with every adventure.  
[HONOR BOUND](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/cleric.html#_honor-bound) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (3 USES/DAY) – The character can, with a touch, remind a creature of its duties and responsibilities and help them shake off an enchantment or compulsion. He can also attempt to shake off effects of this nature that have affected him.  
[REMOVE FEAR](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/removeFear.html#_remove-fear) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY](1 USE/DAY) – The character instils courage in the subject, granting them a bonus against fear effects for 10 minutes.

CLASS FEATURES  
WEAPON AND ARMOUR PROFICIENCY: GUNSLINGER (PISTOLERO)  
Pistoleros are proficient with all simple and martial weapons, and with one-handed firearms. They are proficient with all light armour.

[GUNSMITH](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/classes/gunslinger.html#_gunsmith) (PISTOLERO)  
A gunslinger has a battered pistol, which only he knows how to properly use. To anyone else, the gun seems to be broken.

FEAT: [GUNSMITHING](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/ultimateCombatFeats.html#_gunsmithing)  
The character knows the secrets of repairing and restoring firearms.

[GRIT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/classes/gunslinger.html#_grit) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY] (2/2)  
Gunslingers make their mark upon the world with their grit, which they use to accomplish daring deeds (see below).

[DEEDS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/classes/gunslinger.html#_deeds)  
1\. [UP CLOSE AND DEADLY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/classArchetypes/gunslinger.html#_up-close-and-deadly) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
2\. [GUNSLINGER'S DODGE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/classes/gunslinger.html#_gunslinger%27s-dodge) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
3\. [QUICK CLEAR](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/classes/gunslinger.html#_quick-clear) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
[GUNSLINGER INITIATIVE [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/classes/gunslinger.html#_gunslinger-initiative) \- At 3rd level, as long as the gunslinger has at least 1 grit point, he is markedly faster to react to threats.  
[PISTOL-WHIP [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/classes/gunslinger.html#_pistol-whip) \- At 3rd level, the gunslinger can make a surprise melee attack with the butt or handle of his firearm for a cost of 1 grit point.  
[UTILITY SHOT [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/classes/gunslinger.html#_utility-shot) \- At 3rd level, as long as the gunslinger has at least 1 grit point, he can perform utility shots (Blast Lock- breaks locks open, Scoot Unattended Object- moves a tiny object up to 15 feet, and Stop Bleeding- uses the hot barrel of the gun to cauterize wounds).

[NIMBLE [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY] (+1)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/classes/gunslinger.html#_nimble)  
Starting at 2nd level, the gunslinger gains a +1 dodge bonus to AC while wearing light or no armour.

* * *

ROXY LALONDE [WIZARD](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/wizard.html#_wizard) 2 / [ROGUE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/rogue.html#_rogue) 1  
CHAOTIC GOOD

TL:DR – Is now much faster off the mark when trouble kicks off. Godmark now allows her to deflect incoming missiles with an entropic shield once a day.

[](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/5i92rjtgq134lqh/Roxy%20Lalonde.png?dl=0)

BASIC STATISTICS  
GENDER: Female  
HAIR/EYES: Blonde hair, pink eyes  
HOMELAND: City of Porthaven (Temple District)  
DEITY: The Rogue of Void  
LANGUAGES: Common, Celestial, High Elven, Draconic  
RACE: Aasimar

ATTRIBUTES  
STRENGTH: 10[+0]  
DEXTERITY: 13[+1]  
CONSTITUTION: 14[+2]  
INTELLIGENCE: 15[+2]  
WISDOM: 10[+0]  
CHARISMA: 14[+2]

HIT POINTS: 21/21  
HERO POINTS: 3/3  
INITIATIVE: +5  
BASE SPEED/S: 30ft (land)

ARMOUR CLASS [AC]: 11(15)  
TOUCH AC: 11  
FLAT-FOOTED AC: 10(14)

BASE ATTACK BONUS [BAB]: +1  
BASIC MELEE ATTACK: +1  
BASIC RANGED ATTACK: +2  
COMBAT MANEUVER BONUS [CMB]: +1  
COMBAT MANEUVER DEFENCE [CMD]: 12

SAVES  
FORTITUDE: +2  
REFLEX: +3  
WILL: +3

[WEAPONS/ATTACKS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_weapon-descriptions)  
[UNARMED](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_improved-unarmed-strike) [STRIKE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/combat.html#_unarmed-strike-damage)  
[CROSSBOW, LIGHT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_light-crossbow) – 20 ammunition  
[DAGGER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_dagger) \- Can be thrown, range 10ft.

EQUIPMENT - [CARRYING CAPACITY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/additionalRules.html#_carrying-capacity) (STR 10)

EQUIPMENT - ITEM SLOTS  
CLOTHING: ENTERTAINER'S OUTFIT  
This set of flashy- perhaps even gaudy- clothes is for entertaining. While the outfit looks whimsical, its practical design lets the character tumble, dance, walk a tightrope, or just run if the audience turns ugly.

EQUIPMENT - POSSESSIONS  
Crossbow (Light) 4lbs, Bolts (Crossbow) [x20] 2lb, Signet Ring, Dagger 1lb, Waterskin 4lbs, Hip Flask 2lbs

>POUCH, SPELL COMPONENTS 2lbs

>POUCH, BELT 0.5lbs (Capacity 10lbs)  
Ink (Black) [1oz. Vial], Inkpen, Pearl of Power (1st level)

TOTAL 15.5lbs

EQUIPMENT - MONEY  
0CP, 0SP, 0GP, 0PP  
OTHER:

SKILLS  
TRAINED  
+BLUFF +7(2), +DISABLE DEVICE* +7(3), +ESCAPE ARTIST +7(3)*, +KNOWLEDGE ARCANA +8(3), +SPELLCRAFT +8(3), +STEALTH +9(2)*, +USE MAGIC DEVICE +7(2)

UNTRAINED  
ACROBATICS +1*, +APPRAISE +2, CLIMB +0*, +CRAFT +2, DIPLOMACY +2, +DISGUISE +2, HEAL +0, INTIMIDATE +2, PERCEPTION +2(4), PERFORM +2, RIDE +1*, SENSE MOTIVE +2(4), SURVIVAL +2, SWIM +0*  
(+FLY +1*)

*Armour Check Penalty: Skill at –0 due to armour worn.  
+Class Skill

FEATS  
[ARCANE STRIKE [REQUIRES: ARCANE SPELLCASTING]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_arcane-strike)  
The character draws upon her arcane power to enhance her weapons with magical energy.

[IMPROVED INITIATIVE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_improved-initiative)   
The character's quick reflexes allow her to react rapidly to danger.

[RACIAL ABILITIES: AASIMAR](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advancedRaceGuide/featuredRaces/aasimars.html#_aasimar-racial-traits)  
AASIMARS DO NOT COUNT AS OUTSIDERS FOR THE PURPOSE OF THIS SETTING.  
[DAYLIGHT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/daylight.html#_daylight) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Aasimars can touch an object and cause it to shed a brilliant light which drives back even magical darkness.  
LANGUAGES – Aasimars begin play speaking Common and Celestial. Aasimars with high Intelligence scores can choose any of the following bonus languages: Draconic, Dwarven, High Elven, Gnome, Halfling, and Sylvan.

SPECIAL ABILITIES  
GODMARKED  
[IMPROVED UNARMED STRIKE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_improved-unarmed-strike) \- The character is skilled at fighting while unarmed.  
[COPYCAT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/cleric.html#_trickery-domain) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (5 USES/DAY) – The character can briefly, dependent on her character level, create an illusory double of herself to distract or mislead others.  
EXTRA – Bluff, Disguise and Stealth are class skills.  
[ENTROPIC SHIELD](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/entropicShield.html#_entropic-shield) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY](1 USE/DAY) - A magical field appears around the character, glowing with a chaotic blast of multicolored hues and deflecting some incoming ranged attacks.

CLASS FEATURES  
WEAPON AND ARMOUR PROFICIENCY: WIZARD  
Wizards are proficient with the club, dagger, heavy crossbow, light crossbow, and quarterstaff, but not with any type of armour or shield. Armour interferes with a wizard's movements, which can cause her spells with somatic components to fail.

[ARCANE BOND](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/wizard.html#_arcane-bond) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]: [FAMILIAR](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/wizard.html#_familiars) (FRIGGLISH, [CAT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/monsters/familiar.html#_cat))  
Grants his master a +3 bonus on Stealth checks.  
If a familiar is dismissed, lost, or dies, it can be replaced 1 week later though a specialised ritual that costs 200gp per wizard level. The ritual takes 8 hours to complete.  
HIT POINTS: 10 HIT DICE: 3  
SIZE: Tiny REACH: 0ft SPEED: 30ft  
STR 3[-4], DEX 15[+2], CON 8[-1], INT 7[-2], WIS 12[+1], CHA 7[-2]  
ATTACK:  
BAB: +1 ATTACK: BITE +3 (1d3-4), CLAWS[x2] +3 (1d2-4)  
CMB: +1  
DEFENCE:  
AC: 16 (Natural Armour +2)  
CMD: 9 (13 vs. trip)  
SAVES: FORT 1, REF 4, WILL 4  
SKILLS:  
Climb 6, Perception 5, Stealth 14 (use master's skill ranks if better)  
FEATS:  
[Weapon Finesse](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_weapon-finesse)  
SPECIAL ABILITIES:  
[Low-Light Vision](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/glossary.html#_low-light-vision), [Scent](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/glossary.html#_scent), [Empathic Link](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/wizard.html#_familiar-empathic-link), [Improved Evasion](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/wizard.html#_familiar-improved-evasion), [Share Spells](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/wizard.html#_familiar-share-spells), [Deliver Touch Spells](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/wizard.html#_familiar-deliver-touch-spells)

ARCANE SCHOOL: [ILLUSION](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/wizard.html#_illusion-school)  
OPPOSITION SCHOOLS: [NECROMANCY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/wizard.html#_necromancy-school), [DIVINATION](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/wizard.html#_divination-school)  
A wizard that chooses to specialise in one school of magic must select two opposition schools whose spells are harder for them to cast, but they gain the ability to cast an additional spell from their school each day and related school powers.  
1\. EXTENDED ILLUSIONS [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY]  
2\. BLINDING RAY [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (5 USES/DAY)

FEAT: [SCRIBE SCROLL](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_scribe-scroll)  
The character can create magic scrolls.

FEAT: [ALERTNESS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_alertness) [REQUIRES: FAMILIAR WITHIN ARM'S REACH]  
The character often notices things that others might miss when her familiar is nearby.

[SNEAK ATTACK [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY] (+1d6 Precision Damage)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/rogue.html#_sneak-attack)  
A rogue can strike a vital spot for more damage whenever their foe is in a vulnerable position.

[TRAPFINDING](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/rogue.html#_trapfinding) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
The rogue adds 1/2 her level to Perception skill checks made to locate traps and to Disable Device skill checks (minimum +1). A rogue can use Disable Device to disarm magic traps.

SPELLS  
LEVEL 0 [4 Prepared, At Will] Save DC 12  
+(ILLU) GHOST SOUND – Figment sounds.  
+(TRANS) JOLT – Deal 1d3 Electrical damage with a ranged touch attack.  
+(TRANS) MESSAGE – Whisper conversation at distance.  
+(UNIV) PRESTIDIGITATION – Performs minor tricks.

WIZARD CANTRIPS KNOWN: [RESISTANCE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/resistance.html#_resistance), [ACID SPLASH](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/acidSplash.html#_acid-splash), [DRENCH](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/rare-cantrips), [DAZE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/daze.html#_daze), [BREEZE](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/rare-cantrips), [DANCING LIGHTS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/dancingLights.html#_dancing-lights), [FLARE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/flare.html#_flare), [LIGHT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/light.html#_light), [PENUMBRA](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/rare-cantrips), [RAY OF FROST](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/rayOfFrost.html#_ray-of-frost), [SCOOP](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/rare-cantrips), [SPARK](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/spells/spark.html#_spark-), [GHOST SOUND](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/ghostSound.html#_ghost-sound), [HAUNTED FEY ASPECT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/spells/hauntedFeyAspect.html#_haunted-fey-aspect), [JOLT](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/rare-cantrips), [MAGE HAND](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/mageHand.html#_mage-hand), [MENDING](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/mending.html#_mending), [MESSAGE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/message.html#_message), [OPEN/CLOSE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/openClose.html#_open-close), [ROOT](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/rare-cantrips), [ARCANE MARK](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/arcaneMark.html#_arcane-mark), [PRESTIDIGITATION](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/prestidigitation.html#_prestidigitation)

LEVEL 1 [3/Day+1 Prepared] Save DC 13  
SCHOOL SPELL (ILLUSION):  
+(ILLU)VANISH – As invisibility for 1 round/level (5 max).  
+(CONJ) MAGE ARMOUR – Gives subject +4 armour bonus.  
++(ENCH)CHARM PERSON – Makes one person your friend.

WIZARD FIRST-LEVEL SPELLS KNOWN: [MAGE ARMOUR](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/mageArmor.html#_mage-armor), [DISGUISE SELF](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/disguiseSelf.html#_disguise-self), [ILLUSION OF CALM](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/spells/illusionOfCalm.html#_illusion-of-calm), [MAGIC AURA](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/magicAura.html#_magic-aura), [SHADOW WEAPON](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spells/shadowWeapon.html#_shadow-weapon), [VANISH](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/spells/vanish.html#_vanish), [CHARM PERSON](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/charmPerson.html#_charm-person)

* * *

DIRK STRIDER [BARD](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/bard.html#_bard) ([SOUND STRIKER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spellcastingClassOptions/bard.html#_sound-striker-\(archetype\))) 3  
NEUTRAL GOOD

TL:DR – Benefits from his battle-rap now linger after he stops slammin', and he can use his song ability to cause sonic damage to objects or people. Godmark allows him to check the physical condition of all nearby creatures once a day.

[ ](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/l063jz6sb9qxflb/Dirk%20Strider.png?dl=0)

BASIC STATISTICS  
GENDER: Male  
HAIR/EYES: Blonde hair, orange eyes  
HOMELAND: City of Porthaven (No Fixed Abode)/The Greenweald Forest Region (No Fixed Abode)  
DEITY: The Prince of Heart  
LANGUAGES: Common, Celestial, High Elven, Dwarven  
RACE: Aasimar

ATTRIBUTES  
STRENGTH: 13[+1]  
DEXTERITY: 12[+1]  
CONSTITUTION: 10[+0]  
INTELLIGENCE: 14[+2]  
WISDOM: 10[+0]  
CHARISMA: 17[+3]

HIT POINTS: 19/19  
HERO POINTS: 2/3  
INITIATIVE: +1  
BASE SPEED/S: 30ft (land)

ARMOUR CLASS [AC]: 14  
TOUCH AC: 11  
FLAT-FOOTED AC: 13

BASE ATTACK BONUS [BAB]: +2  
BASIC MELEE ATTACK: +3  
BASIC RANGED ATTACK: +3  
COMBAT MANEUVER BONUS [CMB]: +3  
COMBAT MANEUVER DEFENCE [CMD]: 14

SAVES  
FORTITUDE: +1  
REFLEX: +4  
WILL: +3

[WEAPONS/ATTACKS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/combat/easternArmorAndWeapons.html#_table-eastern-weapons-exotic)  
[MASTERWORK KATANA](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_katana) – This is a [deadly](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/combat/easternArmorAndWeapons.html#_deadly) weapon.  
[DAGGER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_dagger) \- Can be thrown, range 10ft.

EQUIPMENT - [CARRYING CAPACITY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/additionalRules.html#_carrying-capacity) (STR 13)

EQUIPMENT - ITEM SLOTS  
CLOTHING: ENTERTAINER'S OUTFIT + MASK  
This set of flashy- perhaps even gaudy- clothes is for entertaining. While the outfit looks whimsical, its practical design lets the character tumble, dance, walk a tightrope, or just run if the audience turns ugly. The mask is made from painted, varnished wood and cloth; it is ornate, gaudy even- a cheaper and more practical imitation of what a nobleman might wear to a masquerade ball.

ARMOUR: MASTERWORK STUDDED LEATHER  
+3 armour bonus, +5 max DEX bonus, -0 Armour Check Penalty, 15% Arcane Spell Failure Chance, LIGHT  
SPECIAL: Masterwork armour has an Armour Check Penalty one lower than normal and can be enchanted.

EQUIPMENT - POSSESSIONS  
Masterwork Katana 6lbs, Masterwork Studded Leather 20lbs, Clothing (Mask, 3gp) 1lb, Dagger 1lb, Waterskin 4lbs

>BACKPACK, COMMON 2lbs (Capacity 60lbs)  
Tent (Small, 1 person) 20lbs, Bedroll 5lbs, Kit (Juggler's) 10lbs, Rations (Wandermeal) [x14] [Eating this tough, dried cake for over a week without other nutrients causes the eater to feel ill] 7lbs

>POUCH, BELT 0.5lbs (Capacity 10lbs)  
Flint and Steel, Whetstone 1lb

>CARAVAN (Capacity 200lbs, Can produce mundane items up to 25gp in value)  
Maplehoof (Heavy Horse)

TOTAL 77.5lb (33.5lbs without backpack)

EQUIPMENT - MONEY  
13CP, 6SP, 7GP, 0PP  
OTHER:

SKILLS  
TRAINED  
+APPRAISE +6(1), +BLUFF +9(3), +CRAFT(SCULPTURES) +6(1), +DIPLOMACY +9(3), HANDLE ANIMAL +4(1), +INTIMIDATE +7(1), +KNOWLEDGE LOCAL +7(1), +PERCEPTION +6(3), +PERFORM(SHARP RHYMES) +9(3), +PERFORM(SWEET MOVES) +9(3), +SENSE MOTIVE +6(3)

UNTRAINED  
+ACROBATICS +1*, +CLIMB +1*, +CRAFT +2, +DISGUISE +3, +ESCAPE ARTIST +1*, HEAL +0, +KNOWLEDGE ARCANA +3, +KNOWLEDGE DUNGEONEERING +3, +KNOWLEDGE ENGINEERING +3, +KNOWLEDGE GEOGRAPHY +3, +KNOWLEDGE HISTORY +3, +KNOWLEDGE NATURE +3, +KNOWLEDGE NOBILITY +3, +KNOWLEDGE PLANES +3, +KNOWLEDGE RELIGION +3, +PERFORM +3, RIDE +1*, +STEALTH +1*, SURVIVAL +0, SWIM +1*  
(FLY +1*)

*Armour Check Penalty: Skill at –0 due to armour worn.  
+Class Skill

FEATS  
[SPELLSONG [REQUIRES: CHA 13, BARDIC PERFORMANCE, 1st-LEVEL SPELLCASTING]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/ultimateMagicFeats.html#_spellsong)  
The character can blend the power of his performance and spellcasting.

[LINGERING PERFORMANCE [REQUIRES: BARDIC PERFORMANCE CLASS FEATURE]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/advancedFeats.html#_lingering-performance)   
The effects of the character's bardic performance carry on, even after he has stopped performing.

[RACIAL ABILITIES: AASIMAR](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advancedRaceGuide/featuredRaces/aasimars.html#_aasimar-racial-traits)  
AASIMARS DO NOT COUNT AS OUTSIDERS FOR THE PURPOSE OF THIS SETTING.  
[DAYLIGHT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/daylight.html#_daylight) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Aasimars can touch an object and cause it to shed a brilliant light which drives back even magical darkness.  
LANGUAGES – Aasimars begin play speaking Common and Celestial. Aasimars with high Intelligence scores can choose any of the following bonus languages: Draconic, Dwarven, High Elven, Gnome, Halfling, and Sylvan.

SPECIAL ABILITIES  
GODMARKED  
WEAPON PROFICIENCY (KATANA)  
[DESTRUCTIVE SMITE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/cleric.html#_destruction-domain) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (6 USES/DAY)– The character can do more damage on a single melee attack, dependent on his character level.   
[DEATHWATCH](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/deathwatch.html#_deathwatch) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY](1 USE/DAY) - The character can determine the condition of creatures near death within the spell's range.

CLASS FEATURES  
WEAPON AND ARMOUR PROFICIENCY: BARD  
A bard is proficient with all simple weapons, plus the longsword, rapier, sap, shortsword, shortbow and whip. Bards are also proficient with light armour and shields (except tower shields). A bard can cast bard spells while wearing light armour and using a shield without incurring the normal arcane spell failure chance. Like any other arcane spellcaster, a bard wearing medium or heavy armour incurs a chance of arcane spell failure is the spell in question has a somatic component. A multiclass bard still incurs the normal arcane spell failure chance for arcane spells received from other classes.

BARDIC KNOWLEDGE [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
A bard has a little knowledge in all areas, and learns more as he becomes more experienced.

[BARDIC PERFORMANCE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/bard.html#_bardic-performance) (11 ROUNDS/DAY)  
A bard can create magical effects around him, so long as he is able to keep performing. He can make use of the following abilities when he performs, so long as he can be seen and/or heard by those he wishes to affect.  
1\. COUNTERSONG [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY]  
2\. DISTRACTION [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY]  
3\. FASCINATE [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (TARGETS 1)  
4\. INSPIRE COURAGE [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY]

[VERSATILE PERFORMANCE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/bard.html#_versatile-performance) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY] (Perform [Sweet Moves])  
At 2nd level, the bard can choose one type of Perform skill. He can use his bonus in that skill in place of his bonus in associated skills. Perform (Sweet Moves) can substitute for: Acrobatics, Fly

[WELL-VERSED](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/bard.html#_well-versed) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
At 2nd level, the bard becomes resistant to the bardic performance of others, and to sonic effects in general.

[WORDSTRIKE [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spellcastingClassOptions/bard.html#_wordstrike) 1D4+3 (1/2 for living creatures)  
At 3rd level, the sound striker can direct bursts of sonic power in his words, damaging creatures or objects.

SPELLS  
LEVEL 0 [At Will] Save DC 13  
[DETECT MAGIC](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/detectMagic.html#_detect-magic), [MENDING](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/mending.html#_mending), [MESSAGE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/message.html#_message), [PRESTIDIGITATION](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/prestidigitation.html#_prestidigitation), [SIFT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/spells/sift.html#_sift), [UNWITTING ALLY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/spells/unwittingAlly.html#_unwitting-ally)

LEVEL 1 [4/Day] Save DC 14  
[CHORD OF SHARDS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spells/chordOfShards.html#_chord-of-shards), [CURE LIGHT WOUNDS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/cureLightWounds.html#_cure-light-wounds), [MOMENT OF GREATNESS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/spells/momentOfGreatness.html#_moment-of-greatness), [TIMELY INSPIRATION](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/spells/timelyInspiration.html#_timely-inspiration)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've gotta stop referring to the level-ups as filler; they take way too much effort for that.
> 
> Right! So! I have an announcement to make regarding suggestions. Firstly, I've reorganised the suggestions, and I present the [current suggestion list](http://celynbrum.tumblr.com/post/56684058935/lodad-current-suggestions-list) and the [ suggestion cull list](http://celynbrum.tumblr.com/post/56684114302/lodad-suggestion-cull-list) for your perusal. However, doing this was a leadup to a new suggestion policy for this story.
> 
>  **As of right now, reader suggestions are limited to one submission per reader per new chapter of LODAD.** I thought long and hard on this and ultimately I consider it entirely necessary. There will also be an increase in rejection of suggestions- see the suggestion cull list above for some of the problems I've had in the past! Obviously if I reject your suggestion for whatever reason, you are free to make a different one- and sometimes just rewording it slightly will make it okay, in which case I might propose the change.
> 
> Now, I'm a roleplayer and I've been a GM, so I know that some of you are already getting an evil little gleam in your eyes and thinking of ways to subvert my intentions while sticking to the letter of the policy as stated. Let me just cut you off up front there by pointing out that this new rule has been put in place to protect my sanity and the quality, such as it is, of this story. You wanna play hardball with me, you'd better be prepared to be crushed like a bug. Accidents and misunderstandings I will be patient with, but attempts to troll me over this will not be met with amusement. I am the GM, and I can _fuck with your world_.
> 
> (Apologies to anyone who intended to be a decent and understanding human being about this, I just gotta make an intimidate check against the rules lawyers over here.)
> 
> I'm also putting a temporary halt on Karkat suggestions. The new layout of my file clearly shows that I have too many of them and I need to chew through some before I get more. I'll let you know when he becomes free game again. :)
> 
> Also, just to remind people, you get one hero point vote per four chapters. I'm going to be keeping more careful track of that from now on because I know some people have been confused by it in the past.
> 
> Until next week! Huzzah!


	68. ==> Dreamer: Connect

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Hero point votes:**  
>  John 1  
> Aradia 1
> 
>  **Current Hero Points:**  
>  John 2/5, Rose 2/5, Dave 2/3, Jade 2/3  
> Karkat 3/5, Gamzee 2/3, Terezi 2/5  
> Sollux 2/3, Aradia 2/3, Kanaya 3/5  
> Jane 2/5, Jake 1/5, **Roxy 3/3,** Dirk 2/3

## ==> Dreamer: Connect

The footsteps are getting closer. You breathe out and hook your fingers into the threads of the world, fighting back the growing panic to sift through them for the few sparks you need.

You've met them before, while you were all mortal. At the time you didn't know it, didn't understand why your heart leapt when you heard the strange knight with the dragon on her shield laughing, why you wanted so badly to punch the wizard who saved the city you were standing in with fireballs that hardly even seemed to cost him any effort. You watched the moons at night and cried and apart from the worst days, the ones where your head was splitting with the force of your own soul, you never knew why.

Hindsight is twenty-twenty, and you'd curse Past You out for the globenuzzling idiot he was if you weren't too busy trying to prevent Future You from making the same screw-up. The threads of their lives fall into your hands as you drag them out of the River, their souls hovering beyond the threshold while you collect their tethers. When you're holding all thirteen, you concentrate for a moment and with a sensation not unlike vomiting up your own intestines you add another thread, one that glows bright red in the luminescent rainbow rumpus wad you're clutching in your grubby little divine hands.

You never did figure out exactly what the Blood aspect did, but you know what the people of your world call you when they're being polite. The God of Memory. The God of Loyalty. The God of Kin and Home. The same powers that screwed over your attempts to escape divinity for a while are the exact reason you can do this magic, sticking two fingers up to destiny and chance with nothing but the increasingly soiled seat of your pants to back you up.

You need two lynchpins, so you decide Rose can suck on it. Destiny and foresight are supposed to come under her purview, which means that if she had been doing her job instead of slacking off on the Material Plane you wouldn't be in this shitty situation to begin with. You quickly start binding the threads together, so fast that shit starts getting tangled, but fuck it you don't have time to make this a pretty job.

The footsteps are almost at the door when you finish, sending a burst of power through the thread of your own existence that you can feel in the core of your power. You grit your teeth and ignore it; as safety precautions go, it's pretty shitty, but everything will fall apart if one of these idiots dies too soon. You included. Fuck even knows what the long-term effects of putting a puncture in your soul are, let alone whether Dirk can fix it, but options are a luxury you don't have.

The Door shines ahead, and shadows race past you from behind. You let go of the tangled, gnarled knot you've made out of everyone you give a shit about, and feel the pull as they rush away from you into new lives.

You wake up.

At first you don't know where you are; in a room, obviously, and one that belongs to someone with a serious fetish for blue-skinned ladies if all the paintings and sketches lining the walls are any sort of clue, but it's not one you recognise and you freeze until you're certain there's no-one else in here with you.

Dream fading from your mind, you unscrunch from your corner. You're sitting on a bed, bundled up in blankets; that would be more alarming but somehow, you suspect that this isn't used for the same things as the ones most nobles keep around. Other races need to lie down and sleep, you're sure you heard that somewhere, and this thing is low enough and wide enough to suit a dwarf for that purpose.

You find your sickles laid out on a small table next to the bed, and your armour is lying on the floor nearby. You take a couple of minutes to equip yourself before you continue your explorations, trying to keep it quiet. The last thing you remember was being in the Deep Caverns with the bunch of midden-headed dunces who pulled you out of the literal creek you landed yourself in. You're also pretty sure you remember a dragon, and Gamzee, but that has to be a dream because if it isn't then your life is officially too insane.

You kind of wish the Gamzee part was true, though.

Either way, you don't remember how you got here, in this stranger's resting chamber. You examine a table along one wall that's scattered with various bits of metal and oily rags, then drag it around so it can be easily tipped over to barricade the door. A couple of bits of tube roll away and vanish under a large chest. You give no fucks.

Faintly, you hear the sound of laughter, and it stops you in your tracks because you know that cackle. Tiptoeing over to the door, you put your ear against it, and when you hear voices nearby your heart leaps because some of them sound familiar. After an aborted attempt to shove the door open, you yank it so hard it slams into the wall opposite. Not that you care. You're already racing down the dim corridor, heart racing and feet pounding as you narrow in on the sound of voices. You can hear laughter and chatter and people shouting, and there's one voice in particular that makes you want to scream and weep and laugh all at once.

You burst into what turns out to be a feasting hall with all the poise, grace and stealth of an Umber Hulk with a hangover, to find Gamzee being held back from attacking a peeved-looking drow woman by an orc twice your size. He's screaming something about her being a thief or some crap like that, but the words don't even register. You march straight across the room, shouldering people aside until you can step right in front of Gamzee's face and, smirking, fold your arms.

“Miss me, fuckass?”

Watching Gamzee go from raging tantrum to silent awe is a moment you will cherish for the rest of your mortal life. As soon as he goes limp the orc drops him, and you catch his wild dive forward and turn it into an embrace that consists entirely of you both hanging on to one another like you have never even heard of the concept of letting go. In the short time you've been apart, you've forgotten what it felt like to have him wrapped around you; all limp arms and bony joints, wild hair tickling your nasal holes when he buries his face into your shoulder. He leans into you and you crush him close, shaking with silent sobs because you lost him and he lost you and you didn't let yourself think about it after that one initial freakout but you were so fucking sure he was gone forever and now he's here, he's holding onto you and rocking back and forth and he's crying and you're- you're not crying, because crying is for hatchlings and con artists, you've just got some smoke in your eyes from the fire is all.

Eventually, after a time that feels like forever and not long enough, you feel like you can take a step back and actually look at your soul-brother. He grins down at you with an expression of pure joy, and it's at this point you notice both the tear-stained paint smeared all over his face and the fact that he looks like shit warmed up.

“What the fuck did you do, join the world's shittiest circus?” you ask, prodding at the paint. Gamzee catches your finger and kisses the tip before you can mess it up any further, not that you think such a thing is possible.

“Shit, best friend, I all up and been all getting my motherfucking righteous mask all on what with the thinking as what my good friendteacher Myoc here has all been up and saying at me.”

He glances back, and seeing that the orc who was holding him back earlier is wearing a similar caricature of sensible behaviour across his face, you glare at him. Maybe he's responsible for this egregious fuckery and maybe not, but you are definitely willing to err on the side of hating his guts.

The orc promptly and infuriatingly inclines his head to you in a polite and respectful fashion. “You must be Karkat,” he says, in heavily accented High Elvish. “Gamzee speaks of you often, and with great fondness. It is a pleasure to meet another so bonded to him.”

Oh, shit. You should have seen something like this coming. You'd been so happy to see him again that it had slipped your mind, but of course Terezi wouldn't have been careful, and Jake might actually have a shred of decency to him but you wouldn't trust him to look after a dead rat, let alone Gamzee. Groaning, you rub a hand across your face.

“What do I have to do?” you ask.

The orc looks confused. “I am sorry, but I do not understand what you are asking.”

“To get him back,” you clarify, snapping the words to hide the familiar fears and regrets building in your gut. “Is it money? Favours? And don't say you're keeping him, because I did not drag us this far through fire and water and monsters from the deep to get stopped by your ridiculously specific libido.”

For a moment it seems that everyone is staring at you, and then the orc, Gamzee, and about half a dozen other people burst out laughing.

“Relax, friend Karkat!” says the orc, clapping a hand on your shoulder hard enough to bruise. “You misunderstand me! Gamzee is not my property, nor my bondsman. He is my apprentice, for as long as he needs to be, to help him pass through the purging of his body and to gain mastery of the rage that poisons his spirit.”

It takes you a few seconds to work that one out, and when you do you look immediately to Gamzee, who nods. His grin is slightly glassy, but you know him well enough to tell that it's genuine, and you abruptly feel both incredibly foolish and insanely, impossibly grateful.

“Thank you,” you whisper, your voice going hoarse. You try to imagine your best friend, clean of the noxious shit you gave up trying to wean him from years ago, and no longer plagued by the terror that has ruled him since before you ever met. The thought is beautiful- and terrifying.

If he's not a mess, why would he need you any more? asks a small voice in the back of your head. You crush it quickly, but the sliver of doubt remains, and you hang onto Gamzee's hand while he introduces you to a band of assholes who are all too pale, too tall, and too damn attractive, which strikes you as grossly unfair considering that you're a snub-nosed Shanty squirt. The woman Lori tries to make a pass at you, until Terezi leans over and whispers something in her ear. You're surprised when she apologises and shakes your hand; maybe it's a surface dweller thing, or maybe Terezi just told her that you're Casteless trash and she changed her mind about getting into your pants. Either way you take the respite with a minimum of swearing.

Terezi’s intervention brings back a memory that you are now certain was not a dream at all, and when she looks back your way you scowl at her.

“Is something the matter, Karkles?” she asks, voice pure innocence.

“I don’t know,” you snap, putting your free hand on your hip. Like fuck are you letting go of Gamzee now. “You’re the one who apparently feels the need to take running dives across an open chasm onto a dragon that we’re fighting! Did you have to be bugfuck insane to join the Temple in the first place or did they teach you that as a Novice?”

Terezi’s mouth morphs from a round “O” of surprise into a wide grin. You flinch back as she reaches over and ruffles your hair. “Cherry Candy, the court is shocked by this development! Shocked! For this heinous display of caring, you are sentenced to snuggles until you submit!”

“Wait, what, no-“

You’re so busy watching Terezi, you forget to pay attention to Gamzee, and so you’re utterly unprepared to be swept up into another embrace from behind. Your face turns bright red when he starts nuzzling his nose into your hair; it might have been forgivable when you were just reunited, but you have a reputation as a stone-cold lethal warrior to maintain and that’s difficult when you’re being used an extremely public cuddleblanket by a mad clown.

You look to Terezi for assistance, but she just snickers and then lunges in from the front, enveloping you in a second, no less humiliatingly affectionate hug. Realising that you’re not getting out of this one with your dignity intact, you give in and let your head slump forwards until the bridge of your nose bumps against hers and you can feel her eyeglasses touching your face.

“I’m glad you’re okay,” you tell her quietly.

“Likewise,” she says, stepping away from you. “We were worried about you, Karkles. At first we thought you’d been hit on the head by falling rocks, but then on closer investigation it turned out that you were just trancing deeply.”

“We thought it was probably best to let you get some kip,” Jake chimes in, leaning around Lori and beaming at you. “Be a damned shame if we woke you up from anything important, after all!”

Vague memories of a dream flicker around the edges of your mind and you silently curse yourself for not making a record when you woke up. Then Jake hops down and wanders over and you snap back to the more pressing concerns of the present moment.

“Don’t you dare try to fucking hug me too. I already have two idiots dangling off me and making obstacles of themselves, and you really don’t need to enhance your natural talent for putting your ass in my way.”

Jake chuckles. “Relax, old boy, I wouldn’t dream of getting between you and your snugglepartners. I just wanted to show you this!” He reaches down to an odd sheath on his belt and with a graceful flip draws his pistol. At first you don’t see what he’s beaming about, but then the thief in you makes a fresh assessment and notes that it’s looking considerably shinier and smoother and basically less like a complete piece of shit. There are elegant designs etched into the tube-bit that you couldn’t make out before under all the crap, and the tatty old grip has been re-wrapped in green-stained leather.

“The old girl was really in a right state after taking a dip in the river, so Mom helped me to refurbish her properly,” says Jake, practically bouncing up and down in excitement. “And she said that since I’m enough of a numpty to go and drop the lady in the first place, she’s going to give me a backup for the journey! Isn’t that bloody brilliant!”

“I’ve got one too!” says another, equally excited voice. You turn to see Jade grinning at you and holding out another, much larger device that bears about as much resemblance to Jake’s weapon as a broadsword does to a dagger. “Thyri gave it to me as a thank-you!”

“And because you’re one of the family, old girl,” says Bryn, wrapping an arm around Jade’s shoulder and giving it a small squeeze. Bec nuzzles at her fingers and she scratches his head. “Golly gosh, but you missed one ripsnorter of a reunion!”

“I’ll say,” Jake agrees, holstering his weapon. “I think I’ve been introduced to everyone under the mountain by now!” He squawks as Jade grabs him into a rough hug, ending it with a fierce noogie.

“I’ll introduce you to everyone I want!” she says. Jake laughs and wriggles out from under her arm.

“Not if I introduce you first!” he says, grinning. “Karkat, this is my sister Jade. Don’t mind the wolf, she’s barking mad. Jade, this is Karkat. He has these dreams which- HEY!”

He jumps back and glares at Terezi, who snickers. “Another one bites the dust!”

Seeing you staring in confusion, Jade leans over and stage-whispers in your ear. “She’s been grabbing butts all morning! Jake was doing great at dodging her until now, though.”

“She what?”

“It is a just and noble quest!” Terezi declares, lowering her eyeglasses just enough to wink at you over the top of them. “I am surrounded by rumps of excessive plushness. It would be illegal to leave them unmolested.”

“I hardly think it is a divine directive of the Seer that you apply your hand to every buttock you encounter,” says a voice you don’t recognise. Looking around, you see the stranger that Gamzee was trying to tear apart earlier standing just off to the side of your growing circle. She looks back at you, seemingly placid, and your own retort to Terezi fades in your throat.

“Oh, Karkat, have you met Kanaya yet?” asks Jade, and you shake your head.

“Terezi’s friend, right?” you ask. She nods.

“I am afraid I have two confessions to make. The first is that I was not able to finish reading Terezi’s letter before it met with an unfortunate accident.” She breaks off to glare over her shoulder at Sollux; he pauses the discussion he’s having with Aradia and some more dwarves you don’t recognise to flip her off.

“Well, that’s fucking stupid, but I can’t blame you for the shit he does,” you say, feeling gloriously magnanimous. “I’ve only known the asshole a couple of days, but I can already tell you that’s he’s a fucking lodestone for disaster.”

Kanaya sighs and nods. “Unfortunately so, but I cannot lay any blame at his feet for my second confession. I am informed by your less-than-charming associate that I have something of yours.”

You glance at Gamzee, who gives you an entirely unhelpful wink. Turning back, you find Kanaya holding out a tatty, leatherbound book that you had honestly thought you would never see again. You take your journal back reverently, opening it and checking a few pages to find that it miraculously has no signs of water damage. Fuck, it might even be in better condition than it was when you lost it; the gods know you haven’t been easy on it over the years.

“I should very much like to discuss the contents with you later, if that is agreeable- oh!“ Kanaya is cut off by her own surprise when you surge forward and grab her into an embrace, but her arms quickly come around to circle you. You’re shaking with emotions that you don’t want to show and for once your extensive vocabulary has failed you because you can’t find the words to tell her what this means. Gamzee’s hand comes to rest on your shoulder because he does know, he knew your mother too and he knows that this stupid half-assed tome is literally the only physical object you have left that ties to her, even if it’s mostly in your own writing.

But it’s even more than that, because even though she’s a complete stranger there’s something about Kanaya that feels safe and reassuring in a way that is nothing like the bitter-edged comfort you have with Gamzee. That feels like clinging to driftwood so you won’t drown in shit, necessary but too desperate to call truly sweet; this is more like a sheltering blanket wrapping around you to ward off the nightmares. Maybe it’s just because she returned your journal and you’re thinking of your mother or maybe it’s some sort of magical Sylphite Priestess beetleshit, but Kanaya feels like home and family and if those feelings were food you’d be starving.

The sound of a crotchnuzzling asshole snickering pulls you away and you glare round at Sollux, clutching your journal close to your chest with the hand that isn’t still holding on to Gamzee. “Do you have something to say, fuckass, or is that a perfectly normal face spasm that we should all politely ignore?”

“Nothing,” says Sollux with a grin that is evil incarnate. “Do you want a hug from Thyri or Gunnar nectht or are you going to try and claim you accthidentally tripped into three different people?”

“Fuck you, there is nothing shameful about genuine displays of emotion following a series of life-threatening circumstances!”

“KK ith a cuddle-thlut,” sings Sollux. “KK ith a thnuggle-whore!”

Gamzee manages to grab you before you can go over there and show the half-tiefling freak just how cuddly you’re not, and you decide to just relax and enjoy it when you see Aradia doing something similar to Sollux. Closing your eyes, you lean against your brother and listen to the babble of voices all around you. Nearby Jake is talking Jade through her new weapon and Terezi and Kanaya are rehashing their respective adventures in the Deep Caverns. Somehow the discussion expands into Kanaya explaining her current career, and you pretend not to be listening with interest. During this whole debacle of an escape plan you’ve tried not to think too hard about your limited experience at anything legal or respectable. You had been vaguely hoping that there was a large market for unskilled and unknown labourers on the surface, which was pretty fucking stupid of you, but from the sound of things “adventuring” might be an actual option for you. And Gamzee, too, especially if he’s grown attached to the enormous hammer he’s carrying around.

The chatter that fills the room is interrupted when a female voice booms out from across the room: “TEA UP!” You open your eyes to see Thyri marching in with a tray, followed by a small procession of Drow that you don’t recognise and who are carrying their own trays with looks of guarded optimism. Jake’s face lights up at the sight.

“Oh, jolly good,” he says. “Come on, chaps, this way!”

You are herded over to the veritable colony of armchairs, cushions and rugs that have been strewn around by the fireplace. Jake plops down onto a thick rug and with some insistent tugging gets you, Gamzee, Terezi, Kanaya and Jade sitting within various definitions of arm’s reach. As everyone else finds places to sit, you wriggle surreptitiously; the only other time your ass has been graced with something this decadently soft was in Gamzee’s tower, but the chaotic nature of the setup feels much more like being in the Shanties.

“Now, is everyone settled?” calls another dwarf; from the way he’s hanging around Thyri you guess he must be Gondar or Gurrin or whatever her husband was called. He gets a small chorus of assent, and chuckling starts to pour a steaming liquid from a large pot into a series of solid-looking clay mugs.

“So, Jade, have you met Terezi?” Jake asks, leaning around you to talk to his sister. “She’s jolly smart, really- even predicted that little dust-up we had with the dragon!”

Behind you, Gamzee snorts. “Don’t even all up and count none as seeing the motherfucking future if as what a motherfucker were bein’ nothing but getting their sarcasm on.”

“Well, I thought it was a bloody good show,” Jake says, unperturbed. “Besides, if you want to talk about seeing the future, Karkat’s got- oh, thanks, Mum!”

Thyri chuckles and holds out a tray covered in steaming mugs to the rest of you. “Come on, then, take one if you’re going to!”

You take one, and sniff at it. It smells bitter and hot; you poke out your tongue and take an experimental taste, then tug it back in fast.

“OW! What did you make this with, boiling water?”

“Well, yes,” says Thyri, settling down onto the rug opposite your little group. “It is tea, after all. Made the kettle myself. It’s a darned sight better than the older models, and it’s self-heating!”

“It’s too big to take out of the bloody kitchen, though,” says Jake.

Thyri waves a hand dismissively. “Pssh. Minor details, my boy! The price of invention!”

Jade laughs and holds out her mug for Bec to lap at. Not wanting to be upstaged by the wolf, you blow on your tea before taking a cautious sip. It doesn’t scald your mouth this time, but you’re still not convinced. Glancing over at Gamzee, you see him cradling his mug against his chest with both hands, curling around the heat and sniffing at the steam.

“Problem?” you ask.

He glances at you, then gives his head a small shake. His hair flops about then drops in front of his face when he lets his head droop again. “Ain’t nothin’, best friend. Just all up and being getting my motherfucking sickness on from what my body ain’t been getting all what it’s motherfucking wanting.” He sighs, and leans his head over to rest it on your shoulder. “Better now you’re here.”

“Sap,” you mutter, bringing your free hand up to rub the back of his neck. The groan he gives is virtually pornographic and you blush a little, but don’t stop. You’ve seen people run out of drugs before; Gamzee feels more like shit than he’s letting on, and you know it.

Thyri watches your exchange, her smile fading. “So, this is the friend?” she asks. You look up at her sharply, and she raises her eyebrows. “The fellow you were carrying the Pesh for?”

You feel the shiver run through Gamzee, and his head turns just enough for one eye to glare out at her. “What you all up and think you be motherfucking knowing, bitch?”

Jake, who was chatting to Jade, looks around sharply. “What was that you called my mother, you fucking bastard?”

“Language!” Thyri snaps at him. As Jake starts to protest, she cuts him off with a wave of her hand. “No, young man, do not start with me. You are my son and I expect you to keep a civil tongue in your head, no exceptions. Lest you forget, I am a grown woman and perfectly able to take care of myself, particularly in my own home! Now do me the courtesy of butting out of my conversation.”

Jake flushes and looks away. “Sorry, Mum,” he grumbles, casting one last furious glance at Gamzee before turning back to Jade.

You cough in the sudden awkward silence in your near vicinity. “Sorry he’s such a mannerless piece of shit,” you say, roughly.

“Apologies should come from the party responsible,” says Thyri, her voice still stern. “But I appreciate the sentiment, just as I appreciate that young Gamzee here has reason to be a mite sensitive right now.” She taps the rim of her mug with one finger, eyes narrowing at your best friend. “But if I hear you deliberately insult anyone else under this roof, the pair of you are out on your arses, understand?”

You and Gamzee both nod in a gut-clenching mixture of fear and relief.

“Good,” says Thyri, punctuating the word with a sip of her tea. “Now. I suppose you want your disgusting drugs back.”

“Yes?” you venture, not sure if you’re more surprised or glad that Gamzee remains silent.

“Well, tough,” says Thyri. She sets her mug down. “I’ll admit I’ve been bloody busy for the past day or so, but from what I’ve seen of you with Myoc I think you’re on the right path, young man, and I’m certainly not going to undermine that by putting temptation back down in front of you.”

Gamzee starts and warm tea splashes out of his mug and down your arm. You glare at him, and he sheepishly sets the vessel down before cuddling back up. “Thanks, ma’am,” he says quietly. You set your tea aside, and wrap your hands back around his. They’re cold to the touch, and you can feel the tremors running through them.

“Yes, well, I’d like to think I can be a tad more help than that,” says Thyri. “I’ve already had a chat with everyone else involved, but you two helped bring my boy back home safe. The honour of the Quartzkin clan- and the gratitude Gunnar and I have for what you’ve done- would not be served by a quick pat on the back and a by-your-leave!” She shakes her head, then smiles. “Now, I don’t know if you were aware of this, but Gunnar used to be an adventurer back before we had the kids to think of, and between that and what I’ve made off some of my niftier inventions we’ve got quite a bit put away. We had a chat about it and we’d like to give you boys five hundred gold.”

It’s a good thing you did put down the tea; if your mouth had been full of liquid, you might well have choked. As it is you forget to breathe for several long seconds, then let out a heaving gasp. “Five- five hundred gold?”

“Each,” says Thyri, and damn it all she’s smiling like watching you gasp for air is amusing rather than torture. Gamzee hasn’t reacted at all- of course not, the brainbaked idiot doesn’t know the value of money- but Terezi is grinning across at you. That more than anything helps you pull yourself together, although you still can’t fit the concept of five hundred gold into your head. Holy shit, between you and Gamzee that means you would own more gold than most people you know can count.

“Th-thank you,” you manage to stammer out.

Thyri chuckles. “Well, it’s the least we could do, and depending on what you choose it may not be everything.”

“It- it isn’t?”

Thyri nods. “You boys are going to need to make a new life for yourselves, and although a few hundred gold apiece can help with that it’s certainly not the be-all and end-all of the matter.” She glances over to the group of strange Drow, who are clustered near her husband and children. “Now from here, as I understand it, you have four options. First up is striking out on your own.”

Gamzee shudders against you; you squeeze his hand a little, and give your head a slight shake. “What are the others?” you ask.

“You could come with us!” says Jade, leaning past her brother. “Me and Jake are headed to Porthaven to see our family there for the first time! They own an inn, and I bet that if you wanted you could get a job there, or if not then there’s loads of stuff in the city!”

You frown. “Hang on, what about Kanaya?” You turn to face the woman in question. “Aren’t you going with Sollux and Aradia?”

Kanaya’s face freezes into a particularly solemn expression. “After some discussion on the matter, I have decided to go with Terezi for a while to facilitate her transition into a surface dweller and to rebuild our friendship. She, in turn, has insisted on accompanying you wherever you choose to go.” She glances over at Sollux and Aradia; the latter sees her looking and waves, and she waves back. “Since we have also been handsomely paid for retrieving the young Master Quartzkin, I have agreed to meet up with them again in Whitecliff to accompany Sollux to the Arcane College, but for now our path is unclear.”

Thyri pats her reassuringly on the shoulder. “I’m sure he’ll forgive you,” she says quietly. Kanaya nods, and Thyri turns back to you. “Your second choice is to stay here,” she says. “You wouldn’t be alone; as you can see, there’s a few folks who came up from the Deep Caverns with us, and Gunnar and I thought that it was just bloody silly to send them wandering off across the surface when they’d be much more comfortable down here with us. Some of the old fuddy-duddies in the Clan might have conniptions, but I’ve been thinking of expanding my workshop for a while and I can certainly afford to pay the assistants.”

Your jaw drops. “Are you offering us a job?”

“Technically, apprenticeships,” says Thyri, beaming. “With living costs paid and an allowance, and hopefully an eventual offer of adoption into the Quartzkin clan. Not as exciting as running about shooting monsters, but it’s steady work in a cutting-edge profession.”

“And the third option?” you ask, still reeling.

“Dyffyd and Myoc have both said that their party would be happy to have you tag along with them,” says Thyri. “Dyffyd said something about some potential inroads if you happened to be interested in an adventuring career, too. Not that I’d call that much of a livelihood, but Gunnar tells me that if you’re going to get a start there are worse ways to go about it.” She sighs. “I’d like to give you a while to decide, but unfortunately you don’t have it. Jake and Jade were planning to set out shortly, and Dyffyd’s party are headed out early tomorrow.”

You nod dumbly, still having trouble processing just how many options you have. Then you look around at Gamzee and see him staring back at you wide-eyed, and realise that there isn’t actually any choice at all.

“Sorry, bro,” he whispers. He looks away from you, chewing on his lip. “If you don’t want then you ain’t all gotta be doing the motherfucking same as what I do. Ain’t right as what you should be chained on to this motherfucker and his vicious nasty choices for what his life is up and doing.”

You snort and bump your head against his. “Fuck that,” you say. “I’m with you. It’s still better than anything we used to have.” You turn back to Thyri, and duck your head in a small bow. “Thank you for everything,” you say, voice wavering around all the emotions that are trying to claw their way out of your throat. “Really. I- I don’t even have the words for everything you’ve done. But we have to go with Myoc. He’s teaching Gamzee to keep his shit together, and if you’d ever seen him lose it you’d know that’s pretty fucking important, so…”

“It’s alright,” says Thyri, with a sharp glance at Jake who was muttering something that sounded like well, bugger that! “The whole point of a choice was to let you make your own decisions, after all. I wish you all the best and if you ever need anything, anything at all, you can always come home to the Quartzkin clanhold.”

You have to look away at that point, staring down at the patterns and stains on the rug and fighting to get your face back under some semblance of control. Gamzee doesn’t even bother; you hear him practically throw himself across the floor at Thyri and tackle her into a hug. She takes it with good grace and by the everlasting mercy of the gods he doesn’t try to hit on her; instead she holds him and he lets himself be held, resting against the solid dwarven woman. You don’t know if his ragged breathing is withdrawal or tears or both, but she soothes it by stroking his hair and you would be jealous except that over his shoulder she’s giving you a smile that says I understand.

“So, is there anything else we can do for you boys before you go?” she asks, when Gamzee eventually pulls back. You stare at one another blankly, then his eyebrows sink into a thoughtful frown.

“Actually I’m thinking as what there might be one motherfucking thing,” he says slowly, as if tasting the words before letting them loose on the world. “This motherfucker is as what getting his wonder on as if there’s being some way to be getting a letter all down into Golgesi from all up here.”

Thyri is frowning, but nods. “There may be. Who do you want to write to?”

“My mother,” says Gamzee. You’re about to demand to know why the fuck he thinks that’s a good idea, when his eyes meet yours and you see the certainty and the sadness in them. “I want to motherfucking tell her,” he says to you. “Not all the wicked truths of where we’re up and being at, just- what she done, you know? I got all these motherfucking words full of nightmare and rage all up in me for her that’s all up and screaming to be said and I- I ain’t gonna get them out, elsewise.”

Slowly, you nod. “Okay,” you say, reaching out to catch his hand again. “You want any help, I think I’ve got some salient godsdamned points of my own for the evil-hearted hellbitch.”

Thyri nods. “Come with me,” she says, getting to her feet. “There’s some parchment and ink in my workshop.”

As you stand, something pinches your ass and you jump, whirling in the air to glare at Terezi. She grins at you and wiggles her fingers.

Choosing to ignore the insane lawkeeper and her crazy ass-grabbing game, you grab Gamzee's hand and follow Thyri out into the rest of her house. You and your soul-brother spend the next hour cooped up in a small dark room surrounded by bits of metal and mysterious jars that go gloop and at least one machine that keeps sparking lightning. In the end Gamzee writes most of the letter, and you just add a header and a postscript; you both agree that the less said about your present and future plans the better, but it turns out that you don’t even want to say much about those. This is about the past, and what’s happened to you both, and pouring that poison out of your souls and onto the page feels so fucking cathartic that you both start laughing once you seal the letter with a blank stamp and pass it to Thyri to be sent on by whatever mysterious means she can muster. Given that you’re increasingly convinced she’s the sole origin of most of the rumours of insane dwarven not-magic, you’re willing to believe she’s not just shitting you about this.

After letter-writing you join everyone else again, this time for a protracted and tearful series of goodbyes. Seeing Jake all tooled up and ready to go does give you a faint pang, but really you only knew him for a few days and you let the asshole go sometime between being dragged out of an underground river and fighting a fire-breathing dragon. When he gets into a tangled multi-limb hug with Jade and Thyri and Bryn and all the other dwarves, you glance around and see Sollux and Kanaya solemnly shaking hands. Gamzee is standing further back, Myoc’s hand on his shoulder in a possessive way that still gets your hackles up.

The huge Quartzkin goodbye hug- and thank fuck you’re not letting these assholes adopt you, you’d probably be suffocated by the end of the week, Jake must have adamantine ribs- eventually breaks apart into smaller hug-circles, and then into waving groups. Thyri passes her son a bundle of leather and metal and there's another round of tearful goodbyes as he stows the second pistol, and then they're leaving, walking away up the winding path to the surface. The well-wishes echo back and forth long after they’ve walked out of view, but you stand waiting until the sounds have died away. Tomorrow you’ll be following that same path, stepping out of the shadow of the mountain and into sunlight for the first time.

Your new life is waiting, and you are so fucking ready for it.

### Suggestions Used

 _HUNRonin -_ Karkat: Reveal in a dream what you did before leaving the center of existence.

 _ttd0000 -_ Karkat: stay in Jake's room, all by yourself; promptly rearrange furniture into a more defensible configuration.

 _Schiatto13 -_ Everyone: Reunions COMMENCE!!!!

 _Serene -_ Everybody: meet up already.

 _Nikotehfox -_ Gamzee: What is this chica doing with your best bro's book? - jump to some conclusions

 _Sandi -_ Karkat: Reunite with Gamzee and calm him down.

 _Schiatto13 -_ Karkat + Gamzee: Hug!! Also make this as adorable as possible.

 _Deshah -_ Karkat: Run into Gamzee's arms. Glare death at Blood Cultests  & group. They had BETTER not have damaged him.

 _ttd0000 -_ Karkat: YOU CERTAINLY AREN'T JEALOUS THAT YOUR BROTHER HAS SOMEONE NEW IN HIS LIFE, SOMEONE WHO'S ACTUALLY HELPING HIM INSTEAD OF FLAILING USELESSLY, YOU AREN'T CRYING AND IF YOU WERE, YOU'RE NOT BUT IF YOU WERE IT WOULD ONLY BE BECAUSE YOU'RE SO FUCKING HAPPY, DARNIT!

 _Schiatto13 -_ Gamzee: Introduce Karkat to the Knight of Blood worshippers.

 _nanrea -_ Karkat: wonder why everyone is so hot. And taller than you. Gods damn it. (sorry, I just love short karkat headcanon)

 _ladysekhmetka -_ Karkat: show you care and chew out Terezi for jumping on said Magical Flying Beast.

 _ladysekhmetka -_ Terezi: Tease the everloving snot out of Karkat for caring.

 _ladysekhmetka -_ Gamzee: Interrupt above moment to tackleglompsnuggle your Karkat

 _sionnachsSkulk –_ Gamzee: Do something disgustingly, lewdly pale to Karkat. In public.

 _ttd0000 -_ Terezi and Karkat: Snuggle

 _1JakoftheMoon1 -_ Everyone: Acquire awesome weapons. Aw yeah.

 _WhiteTiger1221 -_ Jade: Be excited that you now have new sisters and also introduce everyone to Jake when you find him.

 _Ms Arano -_ Jake: Try to warn Jade about Karkat's dream visions and/or book. Keep being interrupted.

 _Stalker -_ Terezi: touch all the butts

 _Ms Arano -_ Kanaya: admit to Karkat that Terezi's letter got destroyed before you were able to read it all

 _Ephemeral_Dreamer -_ Kanaya: feel conflicted upon meeting Gamzee for the first time...

 _Scedasticity -_ Karkat: Receive a pleasant surprise. About anything will do.

 _Wizardtaytays -_ Karkat: No faffing about, experience immediate familial love when you meet Kanaya.

 _Aryashi -_ Karkat: Hug the fuck out of Kanaya for saving your journal.

 _TheMaskedReviewer -_ Karkat: "Accidentally" hug the nice lady who recovered your journal.

 _TheMaskedReviewer -_ Karkat: Enter another shouting match with Thollucth. (You did NOT hug her. You tripped.)

 _Ms Arano -_ Kanaya &Terezi: Meet up and compare notes.

 _ttd0000 -_ Jake: Introduce Terezi to your family as a seer, she uses sarcasm and irony to tell the future.

 _Sandi -_ Karkat: Get a happy ending with Terezi and the rest of your friends. Your life continues to break my heart and you deserve it so much! D:

 _Ms Arano -_ Karkat: Have a moment that is calm, content, maybe even HAPPY, and not have it blow up in your face later on.

 _Ryo Hoshi -_ Everybody: Have enough calming tea for everybody who wants some, and a bit of a chance to recover in peace. 

_Ryo Hoshi -_ Karkat: Have a calming cup of tea. Fail to be calmed.

 _Ryo Hoshi -_ Gamzee: Have a calming cup of tea. Be calmed.

 _Schiatto13 -_ Karkat: Introduce Gamzee to your new companions.

 _Ms Arano -_ Karkat: Get pesh back and in Gamzee's possession. Seriously, who knows what he's been like without drugs or you around in this highly stressful situation...

 _Sandi -_ Older dwarf lady: See why Karkat was giving Gamzee pesh and stop holding it against Karkat since he really wasn't using it, but still refuse to give them back any and suggest more wholesome alternatives.

 _Sandi -_ Gamzee: Be surprised by the nice dwarf lady's concern, and be reminded of a certain other motherly figure. Eventually start working on your drug problem upon realizing that you are finally in a good place with people who actually care about you, and thus have more reason to fight the rage with your own willpower.

 _LostSock -_ Gamzee: Consider finally telling off your Mother about all the shit you've gone through because of her before making daring escape. Or just get your bro to write an angry-as-fuck letter to her instead.

 _Sandi -_ Karkat: Support Gamzee in getting over his issues.

 _Kamaete –_ Jade: Meet Jake and get on your jolly good way.

 _Schiatto13 -_ Dwarves + Jade and Jake: Group Hug!!! Make it as adorable as possible.

 _Darwin G'wein -_ Mega-Party: Ascend

### System Notes

GAMZEE SAVES TO OVERCOME PESH ADDICTION (1 ROLL/DAY)  
Day 1 Fort Save = 9 VS DC 20 (FAILED – THREE CONSECUTIVE SUCCESSES REQUIRED)  
Day 2 Fort Save = 17 VS DC 18 (FAILED – THREE CONSECUTIVE SUCCESSES REQUIRED)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EDIT - A fanart appeared! It can be found [here](http://ladysekh.tumblr.com/post/57434304200/for-this-heinous-display-of-caring-you-are) courtesy of [ladysekhmetka](http://archiveofourown.org/users/ladysekhmetka/pseuds/ladysekhmetka).
> 
> Said I had a lot of Karkat suggestions!
> 
> Writing this chapter I realised I had a few edits to make to the Level-Up chapter- mostly equipment. Haven't done them yet. I'll get round to them sometime, but I ain't gonna push myself. It won't be relevant for a while.
> 
> In case it's not clear, Karkat was trancing for a while because he was getting some serious visions going down.


	69. ==> John: Continue On Your Way

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Hero point votes:**  
>  Jake 3  
> John 1  
> Aradia 1
> 
>  **Current Hero Points:**  
>  John 2/5, Rose 2/5, Dave 2/3, Jade 2/3  
> Karkat 3/5, Gamzee 2/3, Terezi 2/5  
> Sollux 2/3, Aradia 2/3, Kanaya 3/5  
> Jane 2/5, Jake 1/5, **Roxy 3/3,** Dirk 2/3

## ==> John: Continue On Your Way

The celebrations in the Halfling village start out cautious and muted. There’s a really tense moment when the rest of the kobold tribe show up and start demanding proof that their loved ones are alive and well, but Dirk and Rose do a thing where they talk to a lot of people really quietly and that seems to help a little. Then Dave sort of wanders in between the two groups that are fingering their weapons and, whistling, starts to polish his sword, and suddenly everyone’s playing nice and passing around booze and what happened next is all pretty blurry but you woke up with a splitting headache and a mouth that tasted like wet dog, so there’s that.

Jane has no sympathy for your plight, because she is cruel and heartless, and also because it is entirely your own fault. You have spent the morning beset by the various hangover recipes that Roxy is determined to try out on your poor, innocent stomach, waiting to hear the results of the negotiations between the Halfling Council and the Kobold Elders.

You know things have gone well when you see Dirk and Rose approaching. His face gives away nothing but he’s swaggering, and Rose is wearing that small, mysterious smile that she wears when she’s won a point off someone. You sit up from where you were lounging around not doing much and wave to them.

“Hey guys!” you say, as Dirk takes up leaning against a tree-trunk and Rose settles herself down next to you in a rustle of skirts.

“John,” says Rose, still smirking. There is a long pause.

Jane loses patience first. “Alright then, you two, out with it!”

Rose and Dirk exchange a look.

“That’s a pretty nonspecific request there, Warden,” drawls Dirk. “A bro could have a lot of things come out and some of that shit is secret like it’s got a cult on its ass. You gotta be initiated into the mysteries before I can just start coming out with things any which way.”

“Indeed,” Rose agrees. “There are all manner of things that could come out, including Dave’s latent homosexuality-“

“Slander!” yells Dave. He’s lying on the ground nearby- too close to Dirk, who kicks him in the shoulder.

“So, what specific it were you wanting out, Jane?” he asks, ignoring his brother’s grunts of pain.

“The council!” Jane says. “How did the council go, you daft ninnies?”

Rose’s smirk grows; she bears a startling resemblance to the cat that not only got the cream, but managed to procure the source of it, and is now some sort of kitty cream baron. “The Halflings and the Kobolds have agreed not only to a truce, but to a defence pact. The Kobold Elders have agreed to provide combat training and education on better trap construction, in return for the Halfling Council’s assistance in constructing their own tree-village.”

“If you ask me we’ve created a monster or two,” says Dirk. “But frankly I don’t give a shit. We’re all still alive, some of us had a nice chat with a godlike entity, and we’ve been paid in enough food to get us all the way to Starspire so you don’t see me complaining.”

“And speaking of Starspire, it is time we were underway,” says Rose, climbing back to her feet. “If any of you have goodbyes unsaid, now would be the time to make them.”

Roxy pouts. “But they’re so cuuuute,” she wails. “Can’t we shtay here for jus… one more day?”

“No,” say Rose and Dirk, in unison. You reach over and pat Roxy on the arm, trying to deal with the fact that she looks utterly dejected.

The next half-hour passes in a storm of manly handshakes and comradely back-pats. It seems that every Halfling and Kobold in the trees wants to thank you and wish you well, and you find yourself turning down any number of totally bizarre and not really very helpful gifts. What do they even think you would do with a three-foot-tall carving of a bear, anyway? You eventually make it down to the foot of the trees, where Dirk’s caravan is waiting. The Kobolds brought it up yesterday, but there’s a pretty glaring omission, and you find yourself staring at it alongside the others.

“It seems to me,” says Rose, eventually. “That it is going to be rather tricky to bring this along without some manner of beast to pull it.”

“Maybe we should hitch Dave up to it, then,” you suggest. Your friend thumps you in the arm for your trouble, launching a slap-fight that is totally macho and serious and not at all dumb.

Jane shakes her head at your antics. “Well, as entertaining as this is, we really should be trying to work out where to find our wayward pony post haste!”

“Eh, she’ll come back when she’s ready,” says Dirk. “You don’t rush a lady.”

Everyone stares at him, even some of the massed Halflings and Kobolds who’ve come to see you off. You’re about to point out that his approach sounds really stupid when Roxy grabs your arm and starts making a squeaking noise. You look to where she’s pointing, and see a familiar little yellow Kobold peeking out at you from the edge of the gathered crowd.

“Casey!” you yell, and run over to her. She glubs and waddles out to meet you; you sweep her up in your arms in a touching and heartfelt reunion. A knot of worry in the back of your mind unravels; you’d looked for her after the battle, but you hadn’t found her. You guessed her Mom or Dad or whoever must have been keeping her safely hidden, since you didn’t see any of the Kobold children, but you were still a bit scared.

“Uh, John,” says Dave, from behind you. “You okay there, man?”

You ignore him and continue to cuddle your precious salamanderish adopted daughter. Casey burbles, then wriggles a little in your arms, and reluctantly you set her down.

“Now, Casey,” you tell her, meeting her big round eyes as square-on as you can when your heads are totally different shapes. “I have to go do dangerous, grown-up, adventuring things now, so you need to stay here and be brave and look after your tribe for me. Do you think you can do that?”

Casey blows a spit bubble, which you take to mean yes. With one last quick hug, you stand up and hurriedly walk away, brushing a single tear from your eye.

Jane chuckles and produces a handkerchief when you get closer. “Honestly, John, I will never understand how you can be so gosh-darned ridiculous about your own nonsense, but I’m proud of you. That was quite mature by your standards!”

You take the handkerchief and blow your nose on it noisily, choosing to ignore the backhanded compliment. You’ll get her back later anyway.

Rose clears her throat. “John’s unthinking sponsorship of future Kobold leaders aside, we have wasted quite enough time here and I would like to get underway. Does anyone have a solution to the horse dilemma yet?”

“We couljd whistle for her,” suggests Roxy. “Like thish!” She sticks two fingers in her mouth and lets out an ear-shattering whistle. Dave slaps her hands away from her mouth almost on reflex, and the forest rings with silence in the aftermath.

“Well, that-“ begins Rose. She is interrupted by an equine snort, and you all stare as the tangled bushes bend aside and part to allow Maplehoof access. The pony walks into the clearing like she was hardly even gone at all, the same sleek little creature you remember from earlier except for one really, really noticeable thing.

“UNUNINCORN!” Roxy screams, pointing to the single long horn that spirals gracefully from Maplehoof’s brow. “Oh my goddess! Dirk! Maplehoof is an unicorn!”

“Yeah, I can see that,” says Dirk. He strolls calmly over to his (former?) pony, and to your surprise she happily nuzzles into his shoulder while he pets her neck. The sharp-tipped horn wavers inches from his throat. “Yep, you sure were up to something, you canny thing. You still good to pull some weight?”

The unicorn huffs and swings her head up and down, like she’s nodding. Your whole group jumps back sharpish when Dirk starts to lead her over to the waiting caravan; you stare as she passes, still unable to process the horn. You knew they’d met unicorns on their weird magical trip to another plane, but you weren’t expecting Maplehoof to turn into one! Is being a unicorn like a special club that you can join, then, or was there some other magic involved? And aren’t unicorns only supposed to like young women and girls? Maplehoof sure seems attached to Dirk, though. Maybe it’s because they knew one another before. You make sure to keep your distance while he hooks her up to the caravan. A normal horse can do some nasty damage if it’s spooked, and you definitely don’t want to upset the magical beast with a foot-long dagger on its forehead.

Beside you, you think Jane might be about to go pop. “This is complete poppycock!” she says. You let out an aborted yelp and fail to grab her as she marched up to the unicorn. “You explain yourself right now, missy! Wandering off on your own, popping up on other planes, turning into a unicorn- did Regulus have some hand in these shenanigans?”

The unicorn huffs and looks chagrined. Dirk taps Jane on the shoulder, and when she turns, passes her an apple. Your sister studies the fruit for a moment, then with a shake of her head holds it out to Maplehoof. It vanishes in two quick crunches.

“Well, I suppose it does suit you,” Jane says, patting Maplehoof’s neck. The unicorn snorts into her forearm.

You get underway with what Jane calls a “massive hullaballoo”; crowds cheer you from the treetops as you start your slow journey away into the forest. It’s actually slightly embarrassing, and not just because you’re not used to this sort of fuss. The caravan was designed to travel on roads, not over rough forest floor, and although you’re planning to head for the nearest road as fast as you possibly can there’s still all these trees and uneven ground around you at the moment. As a result, you’re moving at a pace somewhere between snail and standstill, and after the first ten minutes the cheering drops off and everyone’s just standing around looking pretty awkward.

Casey is still watching you from the front of the crowd, though, and you make sure to give her one last proper wave before you roll out of sight behind the foliage.

The caravan manages to keep moving for about twenty minutes and less than half a mile before you come across the first insurmountable obstacle. You, Dave and Jane move the log out of the way while Roxy directs and you’re soon rolling on again, hot and sticky and hoping that it’s not much further to the road.

It is further. Much, much further.

You still owe Jane for that snide comment earlier, and Roxy seems a bit subdued, so you sidle up to her. “Wanna help me with a prank?” you whisper.

“Maaaybe,” Roxy whispers back. “Who’s on?” You glance over at Jane, and her eyes narrow. “What you gots in mind?”

“I dunno, I thought maybe you could use some magic?” You shrug, and look around for inspiration. Your eyes fall on your still-pink shirt. “Turn her a funny colour or something, maybe?”

Roxy snorts and takes a sip from her hip-flask. “Nnnope,” she says, shaking her head with great vigour. “Shame on you, tryin’ to make a prarank so easy as mere- finger-wigglin’!” She wiggles her fingers at you as she speaks, then grins and leans her chin on your shoulder. “I’ll thinksabout it, though.”

A sigh escapes you as you watch her skip off to join Dirk up front. You had hoped that maybe a little harmless pranking would cheer her up; you know there’s still alcohol in that flask of hers, but she was really good about not drinking yesterday at the celebration, and it’s really getting her down even if she’s trying not to show it. Part of you thinks it might be worth starting up that relationship just to cheer her up, but whenever you imagine trying to explain that to Jane you are immediately supplied with the image of her slapping you upside the head. Telling Rose was an imaginary journey best left forgotten.

You might be a bit of a fool, but you’re not an idiot. Anything that would get yours and Roxy’s sisters mad at you is a bad plan. With a small sigh- Roxy really is loads of fun, and pretty, and awesome with her magic- you wander over to Dave in hopes of maybe some bro bonding time.

Dave takes one look at you and his face twists up into the pained look he gets when he’s trying really, really hard not to laugh.

“What?” you ask. Following where his eyes are pointed, you start to rub your nose. “Is there something on my face?”

“Yeah, I’d say so,” says Dave, his voice strangled. “If by ‘something’ you in fact mean a massive drawn-on dong. Holy shit, that is beautiful. That is a fucking pinnacle of crudely-scrawled schlong art, right there. It’s rapturous. I’m having fucking raptures from seeing this shit.”

“I have a dick on my face?”

Your shout draws the attention of everyone else; Jane turns and starts trying to pry your hands away from where you’re scrubbing at your face.

“Come on, let me see- my gosh, John, how did that get there? Did you draw it?”

“No!” You wrench your hands back out of her grasp. “I didn’t draw a dick on my face! Dave is having raptures about it!”

Rose snickers. “Oh, really?”

Dave turns bright red. “Can’t a guy appreciate some fine art without getting mocked, over here?”

“Oh, no, I quite agree,” said Rose, still smirking. “I must admit, I have never seen quite such an anatomically wistful specimen of male genitalia, but I can easily comprehend what value it has to your fevered imagination.”

As Dave starts to splutter, you gesture to yourself. “Hello? Still penis-faced, here!”

“Alright, alright, I’ve got it,” says Jane, reaching into her pocket for her handkerchief. “Here, let me… what the heck!?” As she tugs out the first handkerchief, a string of others follow it, a rope of brightly-coloured scarves emerging from her pocket like a conjurer’s trick. You all pause and stare in amazement at the resulting impossible mound of cloth.

Rose recovers first, her eyes narrowing. “Roxy, dear!” she calls. “Did you perchance decide to get up to some mischief?”

From a few paces ahead, Roxy stops and turns, grinning broadly. “Whoops,” she says.

You gape at her. “You did this?” you ask, pointing to your face. Roxy nods, still beaming, and your eyes go wide.

“That’s a great prank!” you say. Your sister, still giggling, nods her agreement.

Roxy’s smile grows with your reactions. “I know, right!” She laughs, then points her hand at you and wiggles her fingers. The chain of handkerchiefs evaporates, leaving Jane holding her regular hanky. Still snickering, Roxy winks at you. “Jus’ you wait. I’ll have you begging me for mercy.”

She blows you a kiss, probably-not-accidentally jiggling her bosom in your direction, before turning and chasing off after Dirk. You stare after her, gobsmacked.

“John?” says Dave, after a moment. “You know when she took the man-sausage off your face, she turned your hair pink, right?”

You are about to start bemoaning your lot again when up ahead the caravan rolls to a halt and Dirk shouts: “Coolkids and dorks up front and centre! We’ve got weirdness!”

All of you break into runs but you’re the one who pulls ahead, racing up to where the caravan has stopped. The light ahead looks a little different, like there’s a clearing or something letting more of it through the canopy, but you don’t get a good view until you’re almost on top of it.

“Wow!” You skid to a stop, eyes widening as you take in the scene in front of you. “This is- this looks-“

“Disturbing,” finishes Rose, stepping up beside you and regarding the clearing with a tight expression. No surprise either, because it’s not just a clearing, it’s a crater, a good hundred paces across and smooth as glass. You crouch down and run your fingers along the edge; they slide across the blackened surface. There aren’t any plants growing in there. There isn’t anywhere for them to grow.

“Hey, check that out,” says Dave, pointing to one of the crater walls. Following his finger you see a paler shadow pressed into the slick side. It’s sort of… person-shaped?

“Ew!” you yell, jumping back from the edge of the crater and wiping your fingers off on Jane’s sleeve. “Gross gross gross!”

Dave folds his arms. “Looks like somebody had… a blast,” he says, and reaches up to adjust his mask with a finger and thumb. You all groan apart from Dirk, who holds out a hand to his brother palm-up. Dave claps his own palm down onto it.

“It looks like there’s something in the middle,” says Jane, peering out from next to you. “Maybe something survived at the epicentre?”

“Gotta be magical, if that’s the case,” says Dirk. He takes a few steps forward and slides gracefully down the shallow incline to the bottom of the crater. One by one you all follow him, not necessarily as gracefully. You end up bringing up the rear because Roxy stumbles on the way down and nearly plants onto her face before you catch her.

“Such a gentleman,” she coos, clinging onto your arm, and you have to fight not to start blushing.

Jane and Dirk are already poring over the small heap of rubble at the centre of the crater. On the surface it looks like a heap of charred wood and cloth, but they’ve pulled some of the top layer aside and underneath there are some flashes of colour and shapes that don’t look like they were cooked really, really fast.

“Hmm.” Jane looks thoughtful as she pulls a tattered piece of red cloth from the wreckage and holds it up to the light. “See this?” she says, turning it so you can all see a smudged black image that might just, if you squint, be a pair of crossed swords. It looks sort of familiar.

“It seems vaguely familiar,” says Rose, frowning.

“It’s from the Bandit Wars,” says Jane, folding the cloth back around her hand. “One of the more notorious bands- the Brotherhood of the Blade, I think they called themselves, although my local history isn’t all it should be. Quite vicious, but particularly noteworthy in that they weren’t hunted down by the Provost Guard. They just stopped raiding one day.”

You glance around the crater, noting the pale smudges on the ground and walls. “Guess we know what happened to them now, huh?”

“Maybe.” Rose takes the remains of the armband from Jane and studies it. “Although I think we should be careful with anything we pick up here. Not knowing what they did, I should hate to accidentally repeat it.”

“Yeah, no blowing us all to the outer planes,” says Dave, peering over his brother’s shoulder. “What’s that?”

Dirk straightens and holds out an object which on closer inspection proves to be a doll. It dangles limp in his grip, huge blue eyes staring out at nothing and tangles of charred hair waving gently in the breeze. Something about the remains of its fixed smile make you shudder.

“That’s hella creepy,” says Roxy, flatly.

“More importantly, what’s it doing in a bandit camp?” Jane asks.

Dirk shakes his head as he tucks the doll away into one of his larger pouches. “You probably don’t want to ask that. Just a tip.”

Jane stares at him for a moment before nodding and turning back to her inspection of the small wreckage pile. “Doesn’t look as there’s much else here,” she says. “Except- hello, what’s this?” She pulls out a small bag, and you peek into it expecting to see coins or maybe gemstones. Instead you see a half-dozen paper-wrapped lozenges nestled in the bottom.

“Sweets?” you ask, puzzled. Jane pulls one out and sniffs it through the paper.

“It smells slightly alchemical,” she says, dropping it back into the bag. “But not inedible. Some sort of potion substitute, perhaps. We should let an expert look at them before anyone tries one.”

Dave shrugs and leans closer. “Nah, too boring. I’d much rather just stick one in my mouth.”

“As the actress said to the High Priest,” said Rose. “Dave, you are not doing anything to allay my suspicions regarding your sexual proclivities and inclinations.”

“Okay, what the fuck, why is that even a thing you have suspicions about?” demands Dave, turning back to Rose. “Unless you fancy a ride on my mighty lap-oak.”

Rose raises an eyebrow. “So you would say that your penis is powerful and hard, but inclined to fail in inclement conditions?”

“LALALA NOT LISTENING!” you yell, clapping your hands over your ears. Beside you Roxy starts to giggle, and Dave is turning a very vibrant shade of red.

It is at this exact moment Frigglish decides to sink his claws into your leg. You yelp and turn to shove him off, which incidentally gives you a great view of the six armed and armoured figures staring at your group from the edge of the crater.

They’re dressed in decent armour, the Holy Light emblazoned on their purple surcoats, and although their features look Tuathan you can see hints of brown and blonde and even red hair tucked under their helmets. Aasimar-wrought half-elves in the mail of the Church of Light.

The Guards of the Sanctum. You struggle with the urge to go down on one knee. You’ve never been particularly religious, exactly, but it’s hard to grow up in Porthaven and not be left in awe of the divinely chosen few who are called to serve the Holy Council themselves.

“Your Holiness!” calls the man in front, raising his sword in salute to Rose. “We have come to secure the release of you and your Holy Sister from this band of vagabonds!”

You bristle at being called a vagabond for about half a second before his meaning sinks in, and then you reach for your hammer.

“There is really no need for this,” says Rose. She steps forward, but still hovers behind you and Dave, ready to duck away at a moment’s notice. “I am on a mission from the Seer herself, and these people are my companions and protectors. As Her representative on this mortal plane, I command that you return to Porthaven at once!”

The lead Sanctum Guard lowers his weapon and shakes his head. “I’m sorry, your Holiness, but we cannot allow this. We have our orders from the High Council themselves, who have reason to believe you are acting under influences from the darkest Abyss.”

Rose curses under her breath, quiet but still loud enough for you to hear.

“Now, your Holiness, I must ask that you step away from the infidels,” the Sanctum Guard leader adds, bringing his sword up in readiness.

You cast a sidelong glance at Dave. “Attack?” you ask.

“Attack,” he agrees, and your hand wraps around the shaft of your hammer in a way Rose would probably manage to make sound dirty.

After struggling against undead and werebeasts, you’re looking forward to this.

### Suggestions Used

 _RandomGal -_ Rose: Continue on your way. The world shall not save itself!

 _Fidonia -_ John: make the mature decision to leave Casey with the rest of the saved Kobolds. if you have any stuffed animals now would be the time to give one to her as a token of remembrance.

 _Chippy -_ Maplehoof:continue to work as dirk's draft horse.act as though there is absolutely nothing out of the ordinary.While in the shape of a unicorn

 _Emiko842 -_ Jane: attempt to get Maplehoof to explain herself

 _ttd0000 -_ Roxy: Refuse to use magic to help anybody with their pranks.

 _Ms Arano -_ Roxy: Put the booze down.

 _RandomGal -_ John: Think about Roxy. What are you gonna do? (More Roxy/John shenanigans plz, so adorable)

 _Evi -_ Rose: Psychoanalyze the shit out of Dave's unintentional Freudian blunders.

 _Evi -_ Somebody who was not in the prank war yet: Join in and prank someone unexpectedly.

 _ttd0000 -_ Roxy: Enter the prank war by pranking all involved. Prestidigitation for everyone.

 _ttd0000 -_ Roxy: Prove yourself the embodiment of that ancient adage, "I'm good when I'm drunk."; actually get more shameless in your pursuit of John once sober.

 _Evi -_ Dave: make a bad pun and take off your mask aw yeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaah

 _Evi -_ Dirk: Find a little girl's doll.

 _Evi -_ Doll: Have some very large and very blue and beautiful empty eyes.

 _1JakoftheMoon1 -_ Everyone: Beat the crap out of something to celebrate your level up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe you guys read this crap, let alone like it. :) I shoulda made a couple of rolls this time for knowledge and perception checks, but I decided I couldn't be arsed, so you get it in narrative form instead. Nyer nyer nyer.
> 
> Right! Readers enkelior, Aryashi, and Glade all get to make two suggestions this week because I rejected the ones they made last week. Offer ends when I post the next chapter, guys. Everyone, remember that I am currently **not taking Karkat suggestions**.


	70. ==> Aradia: Contemplate The Past And The Future

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Hero point votes:**  
>  Jake 3  
> John 1  
> Aradia 1  
> Rose 1  
> Dave 1  
> Karkat 1  
> Jane 1
> 
>  **Current Hero Points:**  
>  John 2/5, Rose 2/5, Dave 2/3, Jade 2/3  
> Karkat 3/5, Gamzee 2/3, Terezi 2/5  
> Sollux 2/3, Aradia 2/3, Kanaya 3/5  
> Jane 2/5, Jake 1/5, **Roxy 3/3,** Dirk 2/3

## ==> Aradia: Contemplate The Past And The Future

Bec runs about like a mad thing, charging between the trees until you can't see him any more and racing back to bounce up at Jade, panting, before chasing off again after whatever unfortunate woodland critter has drawn his attention. You know how he feels. As a member of a biologically nocturnal race you really shouldn't feel this good about standing in the sunlight again. Maybe it's the air more than the light; you can feel the breeze on your face, smell the greenery all around you, and the warmth is seeping through into your bones where the Deep Caverns had instilled only damp and chill. You keep pausing on increasingly flimsy excuses- that rock might have been part of an ancient wall!- just to drink in the sensations.

You aren't the only ones happy about the sunlight, either. Jade looks almost as enthusiastic as her wolf companion and Sollux- well, anyone else might think he was sulking about Kanaya still, but you managed to catch his face turned up to the sky once or twice and you know that even if he's not keen on the great outdoors he was even less keen on being stuck underground. And all that money can't be hurting, either. You don't even bother suppressing your own giggles when you think about the gold in your purse. You can do so much with that money!

The only one who doesn't seem outright relieved to be in the open air is Jake, but even he isn't miserable so much as he is curious. Based on what you knew of Jade and of the Quartzkin dwarves you never doubted that you'd like him, of course, but you have to admit that he really does seem like a pretty fun guy to be around! Okay, so he's a little distractable- he didn't even listen to the first third of your explanation on post-Reckoning reconstruction south of the Dragonshards- but he makes up for that by being really, really hot. Logically he doesn't look that different from Jade, but there's something in the way they dress and carry themselves- nope, Jade is cute and dangerous, but Jake is a walking hunk of delicious sexy.

If he wasn't so painfully naive you might even be thinking about acting on that, but you think you'd feel pretty bad about it. The poor boy obviously doesn't have a clue, and it's never more obvious than when you see him gawking at literally everything you pass.

Nope, overall, the only thing missing from this picture is Kanaya. She's like family to you and her absence is a little sore, no lying to yourself there, but you remind yourself that you are going to see her again. She just has a few things to sort out, first!

"So what's Porthaven like?"

You look around to see that Jade has wandered up to walk beside you. It's funny, but she doesn't seem much more in her element than she did underground. You thought Druids were supposed to have this magical connection to nature- but then again, rock and stone are pretty natural, you guess.

She's looking at you with a sort of expectant curiosity that could even be a little nervous, so you smile broadly at her. "Oh, it's great!" you tell her. "Me and Sollux practically live there, when we're not out in the field, of course." Your smile grows as another thought occurs to you. "Oh, I nearly forgot! Sollux, we're going to get paid again when we get back- the mapping project, remember?"

Sollux snorts. "Barely even payth for itthelf," he says, adjusting the weight of the pack he carries. "But yeah, we thould turn that in if we don't want to get a thitty reputation."

Jade nods thoughtfully. "Ooh, yes, that does sound important in your line of work!"

"How did you end up as adventurers, anyway?" asks Jake, from a little way off to the side. He's fiddling with one of his guns- the newer one, you think, although you can't be sure. They don't quite look the same but you weren't familiar with which one he had first. "Seems like a jolly exciting profession, but Dad always said it was the sort of thing that chose a body, not one that you choose yourself."

You laugh. "That's a pretty good way to put it!" You glance back at Sollux, but he just shrugs, so you figure it's okay to continue. "Me and Sollux- we were still pretty young when we made it to Porthaven, but we didn't really have anyone to look out for us or pay our way or anything, so getting apprenticeships was out of the question! Adventuring just sort of suited our skills." You pull a face. "Although the first couple of parties we went out with were really not good people!"

"No thurprithe there," says Sollux, tossing the undergrowth about with his toe as he walks. "I don't care if we were thpellcathterth, anyone willing to take a couple of kidth out quethting ith a thcumbag."

Jade's mouth twists up into a worried line. "But if you knew that, why did you go with them?"

Sollux glowers at her, and you sigh, reaching out to give his arm a calming pat before answering. "What else were we going to do? There were a couple of free schools in the Temple District and once they realised we were serious there were some people in the Adventuring Quarter who got a bit protective, but we needed money and there wasn't a better way to get it, or anyone else to look out for us."

"We managed," adds Sollux.

"But that's just awful!" says Jade. "But what about before you got to Porthaven? Surely someone must have been looking after you then!"

You freeze, but before Sollux can say something you'll both regret you are rescued by Jake, of all people.

"Not necessarily," he says, looking uncharacteristically glum. "Not that I like to dwell on it, but- Jade, what would have happened to us if we hadn't been found? A couple of sprogs on our own in the forest, at that age?"

"We'd have been eaten by something," says Jade, looking not at all put out by the idea. And why should she? It's not like she would be alive to worry about it, after all! You like the way this elf thinks.

Jake huffs. "Well, all right, but what if we'd been older? I know it sounds bally daft of me, but there have been times where I wondered- where I was scared..." He shakes his head then raises it, smiling. "At any rate, if the lady doesn't want to discuss her past, then I certainly shan't be prying!"

You beam at him. "Thanks," you say. He grins at you then gets back to fiddling with his gun. You turn your attention back to Jade.

"Anyway, to answer your question, I think you'll like Porthaven fine, even if it is a little different than what you're used to. There's loads and loads of people, as many as there are trees around us, but it's okay because you don't have to know everyone, you see?"

Jade's nose wrinkles as she contemplates this perplexing riddle, one hand resting on Bec's head.

"I don't know. That sounds really-"

You don't get to hear what it sounds like, because you are interrupted by a deafening crack just behind you. You all whirl to stare at Jake, who is looking a little shell-shocked at the smoke emerging from his gun which is, thank all the heavens, pointed off into the trees.

"Oops," he says, as Bec streaks off past him in a blur of grey-white fur. Jade marches up and grabs the pistol out of his hand, then shoves it firmly into his chest.

"Watch where you're firing that thing, numbnuts!" she snaps, snarling like the wolf she travels with. You watch Jake babble apologies, then sidle closer to Sollux.

"Hey," you say, drawing his attention round to you. "Are you okay?"

He looks back at you, glances over at your travelling companions with a tilt of his head, then nods. “Yeah. Jutht had thome weird dreamth.”

Your ears perk up at that, memories of your own interesting night-times coming back to you. “Really? What about?”

You can't see his eyes move, but you know he's just rolled them. He's never had a great amount of patience for the way you're drawn to dreams and trance visions, but he's a sorcerer too and he at least gets it, the same way you understand his desperate drive to pick everything down to its basic blocks and rebuild it better. When there's magic in your blood, it changes you.

“It wath jutht thome dumb thing,” he says, but the yellow blush building on his cheeks tells you different. You nudge him with your elbow.

“Come on! Spill!”

He sighs. “I dreamed about mermaidth, okay?” He falls silent, studying the tips of his boots. “I wath- there wath a beach, and I think it wath night, and the water wath full of mermaidth and I met their queen and thee...” Oh, look, there was that blush again. “Thee kithed me. On the cheek!” he adds quickly, when you start giggling. Like that's going to stop you.

“That's so cute!”

“Ith not!” He wraps his arms around himself, pouting, and you wrap your arms around him and hug tight.

“No, it is,” you say. “But be careful if you meet any real mermaids. They're not all that friendly!”

“I know that!” Sollux snorts. “Anyway, I don't think thee wath a real mermaid. More like a Merrow?” He frowns. “Actually, thee looked more like you, but thee felt like a Merrow. You know how thtuff doethn't make thenthe in dreamth.”

“Yeah,” you agree vaguely, remembering a few scattered fragments from your own dreams. The thought reminds you of the mysterious book you found in the ruined temple, and Karkat's own dream journal. Another reason you don't mind splitting up with Kanaya- you've given her strict instructions to spy on him! There's something afoot and your historian's senses are twitching. Destiny may well be afoot.

Maybe, if you're right, it would be worth starting your own dream journal. If you did, then you could remember some more of the things that tug at you just after you wake. Regretfully, you put the idea to one side; it's not a bad one, but you don't have the resources out here unless you cannibalise what's left of the map-making kit, and that's such a waste that you can't bring yourself to do it. You'll buy some things once you reach Porthaven. Maybe it can double as your archaeological journal, too! You'll need some place to keep your notes once you enter academia.

You spend a few minutes feeling gleeful about the fact that you can afford to enter academia now. Your thoughts are broken by the re-emergence of Bec, who comes barrelling out of the trees at a graceful lope. With every sign of enthusiasm he drops something in front of Jade; peering over, you see the mangled remains of what might once have been a frog, before it was exploded.

Jake turns a greenish colour, much like the dead amphibian. "Oops," he says again, shoving at the holsters of his guns like he's trying to hide them behind his body. His sister prods at the dead frog with a toe and sighs.

"Poor thing," she says. "At least it looks like it went out quick." She looks up at you, flashing an apologetic smile. "Sorry, I just really like frogs. I wrote a story about them when I was little! Guardian Wolfsister had been teaching me to write and then one time she brought me all this paper and these coloured inks- I was really proud of it, I drew all these pictures for it and everything!" Her eyes unfocus slightly and she smiles, lost in memory. "It was about a frog with a plane of existence in its belly. I thought that the stars could be made of frogspawn."

"That sounds pretty neat!" you say. Jade nods.

"It was!" Her face sinks into a frown. "At least, until somebody ate it!"

Bec thumps his tail on the ground and pants at her. Jade sighs. "No, it's not the same thing at all! You were just being destructive!"

Whimpering, Bec ducks his head a little and looks up at her. Jade huffs, then her frown lifts and she reaches forward to ruffle his ears.

"Aww, all right then!" she says. "I guess it isn't fair to be upset about what you did as a puppy, anyway, and who could stay mad at you for long?"

Bec grins a wolfish grin and lets Jade make a fuss of him until he suddenly wriggles back and darts off towards the trees. He pauses at the tree-line and looks back expectantly.

"Looks like the old boy wants us to follow him," says Jake.

"Well, duh!" says Jade, starting to walk after her animal companion. You all move after her, although you can hear Sollux grumbling quietly. You don't try to stop him; he's never as interested in exploring as you, and you suppose he feels a bit outnumbered amongst this many intrepid discoverers!

Following Bec through the trees, Jade looks almost lupine herself, her hair bristling like fur and her focus narrowed to whatever lies ahead. You vaguely remember something she mentioned days ago in the Deep Caverns, and curiosity gets the better of you.

"So how does it work?" you ask, pushing aside branches to follow after the enthusiastic wolf. "Taking on aspects of an animal, I mean?"

"Oh, it's pretty easy, actually!" says Jade, glancing back at you briefly before returning her attention to the path ahead. "I mean, you have to be pretty focused to do it. Druids with a more general approach to nature never get the right sort of connection, but Guardian Wolfsister and me are both really attuned to wolves, which lets us really explore that connection in-depth. Once you get to the stage where your connection to nature is strong enough to allow spellcasting, then you're really just tapping into that power for a sort of limited shape-shifting." She shrugs.

"There's some really powerful Druids who can fully shapeshift, but- oh, wow! Cool!"

Bec pants at you happily as you all run up to the edge of the small lake he has found. Sunlight sparkles through the dappled leaves and off the water, and the air is full of the gentle rushing sound from the small stream that feeds down over gleaming rocks into the pool. In the rich, loamy soil around the bank you can see dozens of green, gemlike frogs, which start hopping away in alarm as Jade charges towards them with a gleeful whoop.

"Seems almost like she ought to be a frog-druid, not a wolf-druid, doesn't it?"

You look round at Jake, who gives you a dazzling smile which is utterly unfair. "I don't know, she looks like she might be related to a dog from here!"

Sollux snickers. "Did you jutht call her a bitth?"

Jake scowls and you hastily shake your head. "No! I just mean, she looks so joyful!"

You all look out into the water, where Jade is up to her thighs and holding a pair of frogs. It looks almost like she's trying to make them kiss.

"Thee'th not going to like Porthaven," says Sollux. You don't say anything.

You're aware of Jake scrutinising you carefully, but you still aren't expecting it when he speaks. "You know, I can't say I've ever met a tiefling before, and now there's the two of you. I'm bally curious about your people, if you don't mind my asking!"

Glad for the shift in subject, you grin. "No, that's fine! Although really, we don't know much about it either. As I understand it, my people are hatched, sort of like elves, and we come down from the far north until we reach the hidden Tiefling city!"

Jake's eyes glitter. "Hidden City?" he echoes.

You nod, a little regretful. "I know, it's thrilling!" Then you sigh, and look down at the ground. "But I don't know where it is. We're supposed to have- animal guides, or familiars? Daemons? I don't think there's a word for it outside infernal. Anyway, mine died a long time ago while I was still small, and Sollux never had one because he's not actually a tiefling."

"He's not?" Jake blinks. "But I thought- he can't be an elf, not with his blood..."

"I'm a freak," said Sollux sharply, the words brittle. They sliced the air and left it dangling in ribbons as he stalked off back towards the trees. You cast an apologetic look towards Jake, then run after your oldest companion. You catch up with him as he reaches the treeline and catch him.

"Sollux-"

"I'm not imagining thith, right?" He turns to face you, face drawn. "I mean, what KK thaid, about the Driderth and how they're created- becauthe there ith'nt any way to make a true halfbreed, exthept they do it all the time, and we know that the half of me that ithn't tiefling ith Drow, and..."

"Shh," you say, wrapping your arms around him and tugging him close. He leans into you, goes quiet in a way that isn't anything but sad as you stroke a hand along his back. Your poor Sollux, patchwork boy, never quite anything. Sometimes you wish that you'd both been born as elves, real elves, and then you could live more normally and you could grow old together, too. You don't know how long he's going to live; elves live longer than tieflings or aasimars, and there's no sure predictions, but he's younger than you right now. Even though you're the same age in simple years, he's always been younger, and getting more so every day.

There are other differences that mark him apart from elves, things that you recognise in yourself. Like how he can't handle his mead; you wouldn't even think to drink something so sugary knowing how it makes your head spin, even though alcohol doesn't affect you at all. Sollux gets hit by both and it's so easy for him to get his hands on, too. His skin is tougher and rougher than most elves', as well. Maybe he'd be better off being a tiefling, like you, than you both being elves. You can imagine him easier that way. He would be beautiful.

Over by the pool, Jake has joined Jade in the great frog-hunting expedition. You sit down in the shade of the trees and watch them, splashing about in the sunlight and the water, and wonder just how different their world can be from your own.

### Suggestions Used

 _J-Rook -_ Aradia: reveal some of your mysterious backstory, to the readers if not your new friends.

 _lotosBolter -_ Jake: Having now doubled up on fire-power, start shooting things you don't mean to.

 _AndIMustMask -_ Sollux: dream of mermaids for some reason.

 _nanrea -_ Aradia: Start seeing the bigger picture.

 _Ms Arano -_ Aradia: contemplate beginning a dream journal. Optional: Discard idea as impractical.

 _unstable_phlegmatic -_ Bec: Give your amazing pet Jade odd green meat you found!

 _Evi -_ Jade: remnisce on your younger days where you had made up this really cool story about how the universe was actually a frog! you had it all nicely written in your best handwriting with colored pictures too!!! and then Bec ate it.

 _Evi -_ Jade: frown at Bec. you really liked that story!!  >:(

 _Evi -_ Bec: Pull out the puppy dog eyes.

 _Evi -_ Jade: aw cute!!! it was a long time ago you guess you can forgive him.

 _Evi -_ Jade: give Bec a belly rub in apology.

 _RubieDragon -_ Jade: fuss over Bec. How could anyone not like him?

 _tempestousCoryphee -_ Jade: Discuss how taking on animal aspects feels.

 _Evi -_ Jade: find some frogs and drop everything to catch them!!! you like frogs gosh okay?!

 _Evi -_ Jade: *Now Kiss!* (joke referring to the frog breeding in canon)

 _J-Rook -_ Aradia: Continue to know vary little about Tiefling, but happily share what you've learned with others.

 _J-Rook -_ Sollux: Think about Drider origins,(and your own) get vary quiet.

 _J-Rook -_ Any: campier the differences between your race and the race of a travailing companion, imagine what you would be like if you ware one of them. Bonus Point if you ware in a past life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this week, I got fourteen suggestions. Yay! :) But the reason I bring this up is because it really highlights the effectiveness of this one-suggestion-each thing. I mean, I love you guys, but if those thirteen people (one person was allowed a double for having last week's thrown out) had all made the three to five suggestions that were average before now?
> 
> Fifty-two suggestions. :/
> 
> Also, just to make this clear to everyone: THERE ARE NO EXCEPTIONS. I don't care how nice you ask, if you realise you just turned in a suggestion that isn't allowed then send a correction, not a plea for clemency. I am a cruel and merciless admiral and I think clemency is a sort of small orange.


	71. -- THE ROGUE OF VOID --

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Hero point votes:**  
>  Jake 3  
> John 1  
> Aradia 1  
> Rose 1  
> Dave 1  
> Karkat 1  
> Jane 1  
> Jade 1  
> JAKE GAINS ONE HERO POINT!  
> Voting now open for the next Hero Point award: one person will get one after three chapters. 
> 
> **Current Hero Points:**  
>  John 2/5, Rose 2/5, Dave 2/3, Jade 2/3  
> Karkat 3/5, Gamzee 2/3, Terezi 2/5  
> Sollux 2/3, Aradia 2/3, Kanaya 3/5  
> Jane 2/5, Jake 2/5, **Roxy 3/3,** Dirk 2/3

## THE ROGUE OF VOID

[](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/k1v3rwd4xpg7vxx/Rogue%20of%20Void.png?dl=0)   
_Lady Luck, the Unseen Goddess, She Who Walks Behind, the Queen of Sorcerers_

ALIGNMENT: Chaotic Good

PORTFOLIO: Obfuscation, Cunning, Affection, Illusion

DOMAINS: Trickery (), Darkness (Entropy)**, Void (), Magic (Arcane), Good (Friendship), Rune ()

FAVOURED WEAPON: Unarmed

THE ROGUE OF VOID is a goddess of unpredictability both planned and unplanned; the question is not what her motives are but whether she even has any, and her favour is rarely lasting or reliable enough to count on.

HISTORY  
Enigmatic and given to deception, the reputation of the Rogue is an ecclesiastical hot potato and her worship has fallen in and out of favour with the turning of the ages. She is the Goddess of thieves and spies, and authorities both fear her presence and desire her aid. It is said that few can count on her, but those who do have her blessing will never need for anything more.

PANTHEONS AND RELATIONSHIPS  
The Rogue of Void appears in the worship of two different pantheons as well as individually.

In the PANTHEON OF LIGHT, she is the trickster and the wildcard. Not even her sister, the SEER OF LIGHT, can keep track of the Rogue. Although she is usually content to use her powers for fun, she is the master of the arcane arts and the greatest strategist and weapon the pantheon has against the workings of malign fate. She is close to the PRINCE OF HEART and the MAID OF LIFE, and is known as the champion of underdogs and the patron of joyous celebrations the world over.

As one of the REBORN GODS, she is the glue that holds the pantheon together. Her love for her comrades is unquestionable, although her methods can be curious. She loves the PRINCE OF HEART dearly, and although he cannot return her affection in kind he protects her faithfully- as her escapades in search of serendipity and magical knowledge, while necessary, often place her in grave danger.

Alone, she is Lady Luck, the thief-goddess, the queen of mysteries, and the keeper of secrets. Rarely in such tales does she travel openly as herself; rather, her way intersects with others, who realise her identity only after she is gone and their fortunes are revealed. She interacts with mortals frequently, but also offers aid to most of the other gods at some time or another. Appropriately for the keeper of secrets, some of her legends hint at her having ancient knowledge, or friends who lie beyond the ken of both gods and mortals; these hints are rarely explored, due to her enigmatic nature.

As an antagonist to other pantheons or deities, she is still very much herself; Luck is, after all, a fickle thing. The only difference of note is that as an antagonist, what was once cast as planned if chaotic benevolence becomes random whimsy. Her kindness is shown to be false platitudes hiding her inner, fickle nature. As hers is the shadow that topples empires and thwarts destiny, it is only natural that as a villain her presence is fearsome.

APPEARANCE AND EMISSARIES  
The Rogue of Void is depicted as a woman hooded and masked in midnight blue; her species and features have virtually no commonalities of depiction, but she is almost always shown surrounded by shadows, mist, or smoke.

SERVANTS  
Cats of all kinds are sacred to the Rogue of Void, but most especially housecats.

_The King of the Cats_  
Also known as the Cat Lord, little is known of this mysterious being save that the position is, apparently, hereditary. Old tales tell of seemingly ordinary cats who, upon hearing of a death, declare themselves to this position and vanish. Likewise do they speak of a dark-haired and dark-skinned man of extraordinary grace, acting on behalf of cats and the Rogue. The power of the King of the Cats certainly seems equivalent to that of a minor Planar Lord.

_The Little Sisters_  
This black-furred, blue-eyed breed of cats are sacred creatures to the Church of Void, and are said to be the eyes and ears of the Goddess. The faithful believe that they have the power to bestow great luck for good or ill, and that to harm one is to invite terrible misfortune.

_That One Ring_  
A simple golden band, this artefact has the power to bestow perfect invisibility on the wearer, and grants them extraordinary fortune. Yet it is also said to bear a terrible, unnamed curse, one that makes ownership of it less than welcome.

CHURCH  
Temples of the Rogue are more often than not secret; most large cities in regions where she is worshipped will have one central, open temple, but the rest are hidden away in basements or at the tops of towers, portable shrines that are set up for only a night, or in some cases outright disguised to look like something else. The best way to find them is to follow the cats.

WORSHIPPERS AND CLERGY  
Clerics of the Rogue of Void are Neutral Good, Chaotic Good, or Chaotic Neutral.

Followers of the Rogue are many and varied; those who live by stealth and illusion such as thieves and spies are obvious candidates, but she also draws gamblers, adventurers and bards in the hopes of good fortune. She also attracts many sorcerers and a good few wizards to her worship, seeking her secrets and knowledge of the arcane.

The clergy of the Rogue are generally Clerics, although she will take Oracles sporadically according to her own designs. She generally has no use for Paladins or Inquisitors, finding them too staid and predictable for her service, although some few have learned to reconcile their knightly calling with the philosophies of stealth and shadow.

TEMPLES AND SHRINES  
Temples to the Rogue of Void are usually filled with cats and located at the crossing points of ley-lines. They are consecrated with incense smoke and are usually kept dark, but beyond that each of them is a world unto itself. Since many of them are in hidden places, or temporary, they tend to be only one room (however large) and focus around a single altar.

HOLY TEXTS  
The Church of Void does not have any holy books, per se; while each temple may store a wide variety of tomes on any manner of subjects, there are no texts that are considered core religious reading. The tradition of the Rogue is almost entirely oral, with the inevitable mutation and corruption of the tales being considered as entirely the point.

There do exist written compilations of some of these tales, but they are most assuredly incomplete. The Church of Void delights both in keeping secrets and in spreading information for the sake of amusement and confusion; thus, it is impossible to say what truly goes on behind the closed, hidden doors of the Temples, or what the highest Initiates might actually know.

A notable tendency for the collections of any given Temple to include a section of amateur wizard pornography has, however, been observed.

HOLIDAYS  
The Church of the Rogue has several holy days whose dates and timings float according to either a complex formula known only to the highest echelons of the church or according to whenever the local priests feel like it. Nobody actually knows which.

These celebrations usually take the form of feasting, drinking, dancing, and quite often seeking romantic partners. All manner of wild local traditions have sprung up, often contests or else excuses to act in ways not normally permitted.

Rumour has it that there is a secret festival that certain of her devotees adhere to, in which they play a “game” of stealth and thievery under cover of night, but most reputable sources consider this apocryphal.

[ ](http://th06.deviantart.net/fs71/PRE/i/2013/245/9/d/rogue_of_void_by_persephone_the_fish-d6ktimn.jpg)

Rogue Of Void Portrait by [proserpine-in-phases](http://proserpine-in-phases.tumblr.com/)

\--------------  
** This domain is custom-made: to create, apply the “Entropy” subdomain to the “Darkness” domain rather than the “Chaos” domain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whooo, there were a lot of votes this time around!
> 
> Also, [there is a new fanart](http://persephone-the-fish.deviantart.com/art/Knight-of-Time-394194766), courtesy of [proserpine-in-phases](http://proserpine-in-phases.tumblr.com/)! It's also been put into the God chapter, like the others, so you can marvel at the glorious artwork just as much as I do. Which is a lot. Go on, go marvel. :)


	72. ==> Dirk: Strife!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Hero point votes:**  
>  NO VOTES CAST
> 
>  **Current Hero Points:**  
>  John 2/5, Rose 2/5, Dave 1/3, Jade 2/3  
> Karkat 3/5, Gamzee 2/3, Terezi 2/5  
> Sollux 2/3, Aradia 2/3, Kanaya 3/5  
> Jane 1/5, Jake 2/5, Roxy 2/3, Dirk 1/3

## ==> Dirk: Strife!

The battle starts with a flash of light, a ray of bright magic flaring from Roxy’s fingertips to the leader of the Sanctum Guard. You see her outline blur and shimmer until there are two of her standing there, and take a moment to appreciate her tactical acumen before Dave races past you, sword swinging. He gets a solid hit in on the shithead running this show, which is for the best, all told. You may not be immersed in the thick of Temple politics, but when the Sanctum Guard are trying to kidnap their own Oracle something is fucked up in every orifice. Cutting the head off this cheery little band of religious kidnappers is almost certainly the way to go.

Logic gets a big supporting hand from emotion when when a Temple-forged longsword leaves a bleeding gash across Dave’s forehead. The guy who dealt it looks pretty damn confused about something, and you wish you could figure out what and gain some leverage. Head wounds bleed worse than they are but he won’t last long, not with that much blood in his eyes. You start to wrack your memory for a good battle ballad while the Sanctum Guard Leader declares your brother an evil heretic. Behind him, one of his followers is demanding that you all surrender. Shit’s hilarious, or would be if Roxy’s eyes weren’t glued to him and his hysterical arm-waving. Hmm. Your hand wraps around the hilt of your katana, ready. You aren’t quite sure where to put your intervention yet, and you’re disinclined to jump in swinging steel before you have an accurate analysis of the situation. That’s Dave’s forté, not yours.

While your brother becomes the centre of a proselytising clusterfuck, the rest of the Sanctum Guard are honing in on their target. You hesitate, not wanting to move away from your brother, and then John’s there between Rose and her would-be abductors.

“As a duly authorised deputy of the Porthaven City Watch-“ he begins, and then one of the Guards jabs a sword into his unarmoured leg and his words finish with a yell of pain. He manages to keep hold of his hammer but from the speed with which his breeches are staining red you’re hoping this is over before he needs more than just a healer.

In one smooth motion Rose pulls out a wand and flicks it, and from the tip a shimmering cone of virulent rainbow light envelops the two Guards of the Sanctum who were trying to sneak around her side. They both scream, dropping their swords and clutching at their faces, and Rose smirks.

Jane runs past you towards her brother, hands outstretched, and when one touches him there’s a glow of bluish light around the hole in his leg. It doesn’t make a notable difference under all the blood, but you file it away as shit to think about later as John swings his weapon two-handed and completely fails to connect with anything. 

You reassess the situation; two enemies down, one doing fuck all but being really gods-damn noisy about it, two in combat with Dave, one in combat with John, and both Dave and John injured. The odds are even, or close enough. Time to provide an edge, and you are all about the edges.

“Call to arms, call to war, call to what'cha fightin' for.”

Battle poetry comes as natural to you as breathing and the moment you open your mouth you can feel it, the rhythm of the beat and the rhythm of the battle dropping into sync. Listen, chant, channel; you see Roxy cast a spell on the vocal Sanctum Guard, and right after that the guy dives into the ongoing melee of steel and blood around your brother. You see magic fizzle against the leader of the Guards and realise that whatever Roxy did, you’ve got another guy on your side now. It doesn’t help Dave much; he’s outmaneuvered and outnumbered, and you see him take a blow that should have been a fuckton worse except somehow he managed to move out the way just in the nick of time.

“Steel your heart, blood your blades, broken bones and open veins.”

The guy who stabbed John in the leg slips past him and manages to grab Rose, hoisting her up over one shoulder. John sees her struggling and shouting in eldritch tongues and slams a hammer into the Guard, making him stumble. He doesn’t release his hold but Warden seems to have the situation under control, which is more than you can say for Dave. Jane glances your way; without breaking chant, you nod, and the pair of you charge together to your brother’s rescue.

“Time to prove you got the moves, ain't no option just to lose.”

A trident and a katana both lash out, one piercing through chainmail as sweet as an arrow and the other gashing opening a gash in the collar that bites to the bone. The Sanctum Guard leader staggers under the onslaught while Dave steps back, sword and buckler raised to form a wall of metal in front of himself.

“Hold your head up, chin up high, time to fuckin' win or die.”

You hear a yell and out of the corner of your eye you see Roxy hurl an empty bottle. There’s a loud crash and a thud behind you; you don’t turn, but Rose’s babble sounds calmer than it did and John’s declaration of “awesome!” tells you that she hit her target well.

“They can't touch this, let them try: here comes the battle cry.”

In front of you the uninjured Sanctum Guard is trying to hold down his comrade, who is now loudly declaring his devotion to the Holy Sisters with all the fervour he was using to denounce you earlier.

“Fall back!” their leader yells, one hand pressed against a gash that’s bleeding too freely. Dave’s work. He’s a cunning little shit when he wants to be, your bro. “Retreat, in the name of the Light!”

He barely manages to gasp the words out before he slumps unconscious at your feet. Everyone stops moving, the battle frozen; you keep murmuring your battle chant quietly, ready to pick up the volume if the shit starts moving again.

“G'bug haiog ph'nw, li'hee y'ghe,” says Rose, behind you. Absolutely nobody moves. With a sigh, you drop your chant.

“Your leader’s down, there’s a mind-spell on one of your allies, and that guy probably has a concussion,” you say to the assembled Guards of the Sanctum, pointing to the Guard who had tried to grab Rose and who was intercepted by a bottle. “And we’re all standing and have two pissed-off Holy Sisters on our side. I suggest you back off while we’re still willing to offer clemency.”

“We have oranges?” says John. You decide to give him the benefit of the doubt and put that down to blood loss. Not that it makes much difference; the Sanctum guards grab their injured and head back for the trees, retreat guarded by two guys who faced off against Rose and still can’t stop blinking.

The moment they’re out of sight Dave and John both collapse to the ground. Everyone gathers around them, Rose already starting to glow with healing light. You leave them to it and go to check on Maplehoof; you’re not expecting to find any problems, because it takes one hell of a vicious bastard to hurt a horse even when said horse isn’t a magical beast with a foot-long spike on her head. Horses are worth a lot of money, more than people, and someone would really have to want to wreck your shit to start with your equine companion.

Sure enough, you don’t find her hurt. In fact, you don’t find her at all.

“Maplehoof?” you call, peering around the bare patch of forest where you fucking know you left the caravan. “C’mon, darlin’, I know I’m good but I ain’t that good.”

There’s a whicker from behind you and you turn around to find her standing there, caravan and all, right where she wasn’t a moment ago. You fish around in your belt pouches until you find an apple, then hold it out to her. She takes it daintily, just like always except now there’s a gods damned lance-tip horn hovering around just by your eye. You duck your head to the side and pat her neck.

“That’s a good trick you got there, sweetie-pie,” you tell her. You’re using your reassuring voice, but it’s all you can do not to just grab Roxy and start theorising the shit out of this bitch. It’s obviously magic, got to be, and somehow related to this sudden unicorn bullshit, but beyond that you do not have a fucking _clue._ Can’t be invisibility, not unless she can turn intangible as well, you walked through where she’s standing- teleportation? A planar shift? If she can bring the caravan along for the ride, does that mean she can carry the rest of you as well, and would you even want her to?

Too many possibilities, too many variables. You sigh and press your face into her mane. It’s been less than a week and you already miss your simple life as a nomadic subversive street performance artist, before magic swords and magic horses and magic companions…

Shit. You need to talk to Jane.

She’s hovering near John in that haze of pointless low-grade recrimination that fretting kinsfolk usually start sporting in the wake of a near-disaster. You stride over fit to match your soul-name and stop just close enough to draw everyone’s attention.

“So,” you say, thumbs hooked in your belt. “Healing. I’m gonna go out on a limb here and guess that was new, seeing as how there were a few times in the past few days that trick would’ve been useful.”

Jane turns an interesting shade of pink and Dave does a double-take that tells you he didn’t even notice her closing up John’s wounds. Not that you can blame him exactly- even you have trouble multitasking when something really requires your focus, and Dave doesn’t have your freakish mind- but damn, that was an important detail to miss.

“I can’t do it again,” says Jane, somewhere between stubborn and sullen.

“How do you know?” you ask. Collating data.

“I tried.” She folds her arms and the way she tilts her chin at you is pure challenge. It’s a shame John doesn’t have a little more of her attitude because you could fall in love with that.

“Perhaps the ability merely needs some time to recharge?” suggests Rose, looking up from John’s injured arm to regard the proceedings with interest. You’re relieved to hear her speaking common again. “Most spellcasters require rest or a period of waiting after a magical expenditure; the human body can only hold a finite quantity of power, after all.”

“Yeah, you should totes try again tomorrow,” agrees Roxy. She’s lying flat on her stomach on the ground, kicking her heels in the air. “Betcha it works then!”

“I’m less interested in the recharge period than in how this happened at all,” you say.

“Who cares?” says Dave. “I mean don’t get me wrong, this is awesome, but what is it with you and looking a gift horse in the mouth?”

“Maybe I don’t want to accidentally buy a man-eating one,” you reply. Dave pouts, Rose smiles, and the rest of your companions snicker. You take this as a good sign and crouch down to put yourself on eye level with Jane. “So what happened?”

She shrugs. “Honestly? I’m not sure. I saw John get hurt, and it was so gosh-darned upsetting that I just ran right over.”

“And I’m glad you did!” John adds. Jane looks over at him and huffs.

“Yes, well, the thing is it shouldn’t have worked!” she says, pushing her hair back out of her face two-handed. “By all rights I was just making a useless ninny of myself, not actually doing anything worthwhile, but then when I touched you it was like…”

Her voice trails off and she chews her lip. Seeing Dave open his mouth to say something, you make a _shut the fuck up_ gesture in his direction; the last thing you want to do now is derail her train of thought.

“I was just desperate to help him,” says Jane, slowly. “And all I could think about was that he was hurt. It’s not so much that I knew I could do it as that I completely forgot that I couldn’t.”

“What’d it feel like?” asks Roxy, legs still waving over her knees.

“Like Life,” says Jane, and you can hear the capital letter. “Like plants growing and water flowing and cakes that just came out of the oven. I really don’t know how else to describe it; for a moment there, I could have sworn I was part of something far larger than myself!”

Roxy glances over at Rose, who nods. “That certainly sounds like some form of Divine Channelling,” says the Oracle. “Given the nature of the spell, it’s possible that it was simply your impression of the positive energy plane, but to espouse such an eventuality as likelihood would be illogical given that each of us has already been marked by a god.”

Jane and John’s jaws both drop in unison. “Are you saying the Maid of Life did it?” asks Jane, hushed.

“I am saying that the Maid of Life enabled _you_ to do it,” replies Rose. When the two Wardens continue to gape at her, she chuckles. “Welcome to life as a prophet. I do hope it suits you.”

You fight the urge to rub at the mark of the Prince, which seems almost to be itching on your skin. Dave, you can see, is surreptitiously scratching his arm.

“Should we go back?” asks John. You all stare at him, and he shrugs. “I mean, not all of us, obviously, but me and Jane?” He shifts about a little. “I’m worried about Mom and Dad,” he says, fiddling with his fingers. “I mean, this was supposed to be some huge important adventure, but if the Guards of the Sanctum are chasing us all the way out here then then stuff might get messy in Porthaven and I just- I don’t know if this is where I should be.”

You think about Desta being confronted by Sanctum Guards. It’s not a pleasant mental image, and the knowledge that no-one in your clan stuck around near Porthaven is hardly reassuring. If they’re determined enough to send people this far out, then an entire clan of Phooka skipping town the day the Oracle goes missing are not going to get overlooked. You look across at Dave, and he shrugs. There’s nothing either of you can do except trust your people; they know their shit. It’ll have to be enough. Still…

“If you wanna go back, we can probably cover you to the Halfling village,” you say.

“Absolutely not!” Jane plants her hands firmly on her hips, and glares at John. “John Warden, you are a complete nincompoop! Mom and Dad are surrounded by extremely capable people who will absolutely defend them, and if we go back to the Watch now they’re more likely to arrest us than let us back into our old jobs! Can you imagine how our folks would feel about that?”

John scratches the back of his head. “Huh. I didn’t think of that.” He sighs heavily. “Great! This mission sucks!”

“Darn right it does, mister, but you already agreed to it!” Jane says. “And what’s more, lest it slip your mind, we are on a quest to save the world here! A fat lot of good it’ll do if we run back to save the inn and then it gets caught up in the doom of the material plane because we weren’t about to stop it!”

Rose quirks an eyebrow. “Not that I do not appreciate it, but when did you become so eager?”

Jane harrumphs. “When I commit to something, Oracle, reluctant or not, I jolly well commit to it! Not like this airhead here.” She jabs a finger into her brother, sparking off a brief slap-fight. You ignore it to watch Roxy, who’s smiling like the cat that broke into the dairy farm and learned to milk the cows.

“Copper for your thoughts,” you say. She holds a hand up and you flick a coin in her direction.

“Jus’ thinkin’,” she says, flipping the coin around her fingers dreamily. “Not really sure I should tell you this, but fuckkit. One of those Guards of the Sanctum?” She winks. “Spy for my Church.”

For once, Dave beats you in the unphased stakes. You aren’t sure whose eyebrows raise faster, yours or Rose’s. “You got a spy into my Sanctum Guards?” Rose says.

“Yuh-huh.” Roxy rolls over onto her back, still smirking. “An’ a good thing, too. The one under the mind-whammy?” She shrugs. “Not really whammied at all. Can’t be sure, but I think my peeps are lookin’ out for all your peeps. We allus knew the Lighties were full of it.”

“Well, thank you so much for informing me of all this,” says Rose, but you aren’t certain Roxy hears her over John and Jane whooping in delight and diving in for a hug.

“Damn,” says Dave, watching the hug-pile. “I gotta up my game. Check out Roxy, all covered in bitches.”

“All good things to those who wait, bro,” you say. “And if not, we can steal it ahead of schedule.” So saying, you swoop in and grab Jane, slinging her over one shoulder. She’s heavy as fuck in all her armour but luckily under that she’s all elf; you manage to swagger with the requisite amount of confidence to the edge of the weird, glassy crater and set her down at the top of it.

“All aboard the Silvertongue Caravan, next stop the goddamn road,” you say, following her up. There’s a general scramble to keep up as you make your way over to Maplehoof and gird yourself for another excruciating trip through the undergrowth.

A thought occurs to you and you lean in closer. “Hey, girl,” you say quietly, petting your pony-turned-unicorn’s nose. “If there’s anything you can do to make this less like a fucking chained march through the three hells, that’d be great.”

She whickers, which could mean fucking anything, but you choose to think of it as assent before you take her reins and start leading your merry little band out of the wild woods. And if it takes you less time than you thought it should to reach a road, well, at least it was an effective escape.

### Suggestions Used

 _1JakoftheMoon1 -_ Half-Elves: Be part of assassination plot.

 _Ms Arano -_ Random Sanctum Guard: Be slightly more loyal to the Holy Sisters than to the High Council.

 _Ephemeral_Dreamer -_ High Priest of the Rogue: Send Roxy a message in a way only she will notice.

 _Kranja -_ John and group: Realize that fighting to subdue instead of kill SUCKS.

 _TargeMail -_ John: Behave under pressure with the professional conduct expected of a guardsman

 _Aryashi -_ Jane: Comfort your brother

 _Schiatto13 -_ Godmark abilities: Activate at incredibly dramatic and tense moments and confuse everyone with how they have somehow acquired magical abilities they shouldn't have.

 _HUNRonin -_ Celyn: Use [Stone Drum](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JJSqlkX5tEc&feature=player_detailpage#t=21) for the next rap or rap-off that occurs in the story.

 _edenfalling -_ Roxy: thwart a "rescue" attempt by someone from the Temple of Light; no one is kidnapping your sister on your watch!

 _oracleOutlook -_ Roxy: Use up a hero point with something flashy so that next time you prank someone I can vote for you.

 _BubbleBtch –_ Roxy: have excellent aim with a bottle

 _Ryo Hoshi -_ Anybody: Confuse 'clemency' and 'some sort of small citrus fruit, such as a clementine or a satsuma.'

 _1JakoftheMoon1 -_ John: Grow somewhat disillusioned with your journey.

 _ttd0000 -_ Porthaven Group: make up with each other.

 _Serene -_ Roxy: make with an over the top but highly effective group abscond.

[System Notes](http://celynbrum.tumblr.com/post/59965421150/lodad-system-notes-chapter-72)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dear readers, I owe you an apology. It has been brought to my attention (with a much-needed metaphorical boot to the backside) that I have been acting like an assbucket for a while now.
> 
> I'm sorry to everyone that I've lost my temper with, and I'm sorry to everyone who has been witness to those displays. None of you deserved it, and I give you my word that I will be working hard on never displaying such awful behaviour again. I don't want to be horrible to you guys. You guys are fuckin' ace, I want to be friends with all of you, and I intend to prove this through my future actions.
> 
> Thanks for your patience this far. You are the best readers, it is you. :)
> 
> [This message will be repeated on both currently updating fics.]
> 
> So! In other news, there is now a [Heir Of Breath Portrait](http://proserpine-in-phases.tumblr.com/post/59703592663/oh-god-so-much-blue-i-had-to-break-it-up-with) by [proserpine-in-phases](http://proserpine-in-phases.tumblr.com/)! :D
> 
> Also, I am requesting assistance. If anyone is a fan of equipping characters, or just trawling through lists of possible equipment for cool stuff, I seek your aid! I lack both the time and the inclination to equip the LODAD characters properly, and a list of potential items of gear would be stupidly helpful. Even if you only contribute one idea, it's still worth it to me!
> 
> Here are the listings for [armour and shields](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/equipment---final/armor), [goods and services](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/equipment---final/goods-and-services), and [magic items](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic-items). If you're unfamiliar with the system but are interested in helping out, I actually recommend searching the magic items section- the items are ready-made and there are about a billion of them, so anything that narrows the field for me is very welcome!
> 
> If you do have any suggestions for suitable equipment, please be sure to tell me who it's for and the gold piece value of it, as I'll be using that data to organise wealth-by-level. You don't have to tell me the mechanical effects, as I can reconstruct or find the equipment once it's been put forward. :)
> 
> (HEEEEELP MEEEEEEE)


	73. ==> Jake: Encounter Preposterous Amphibians

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Hero point votes:**  
>  Jane 1  
> Dave 1  
> Dirk 1
> 
>  **Current Hero Points:**  
>  John 2/5, Rose 2/5, Dave 1/3, Jade 2/3  
> Karkat 3/5, Gamzee 2/3, Terezi 2/5  
> Sollux 2/3, Aradia 2/3, Kanaya 3/5  
> Jane 1/5, Jake 2/5, Roxy 2/3, Dirk 1/3

## ==> Jake: Encounter Preposterous Amphibians

You feel that you're being watched, but you make sure to finish up reassembling your new gun before you take your attention away from it to see Sollux staring at you.

“Can I help, old chap?” you ask. He's a strange sight, and not just for those bright bichrome eyes, but you're not going to judge a fellow for something so trivial as that.

Unfortunately, he seems more than a little uncomfortable having been noticed. “It'th nothing,” he says, glancing away. You see his cheeks turn a little yellowish, and realise he's blushing.

“Now, come along,” you reply, setting the pistol down on the cloth you spread out when you started this little bout of maintenance. The four of you paused in a riverside clearing for a meal, and since the sun's high overhead and you were stopped anyway you thought it was a good time for a spot of tinkering. “We're comrades now! Whatever it is, you can tell me.” You give him your best smile and to your delight he returns it. It's a small and reluctant smirk he gives you, but gosh darn it, that's better than nothing.

“I wath jutht wondering about your weaponth,” says the mage, shrugging off his own interest. “I know that bathically your whole family hath them, but I never really got a chanthe to athk Thyri for a clother look.”

“Oh, well then, have a gander at this one,” you say, grabbing up the new pistol from the ground and offering it out to him. After a moment of hesitation he takes it, holding it loosely like he's afraid it might explode.

You reach out and correct his hold. “Like this. Make sure you keep a good solid grip on it, and don't pull the trigger. I'm keeping it loaded, just in case we run into trouble.” You wink at him. “Not strictly the safest course of action, but then neither's getting my face bitten off in the time it takes to load!”

Sollux snickers. “Yeah, I can imagine.” He raises the pistol and studies it carefully, peering at all the little joints where it fits together. “Tho it'th bathically an alchemical exthplothion acting to propel the bullet out of thith tube?”

“Yes, sirree,” you say. “Of course, it's more complicated than that if you don't want the whole kit and caboodle to explode in your face.”

“Yeah, I can imagine,” says Sollux, setting the weapon carefully back down on the cloth. “It'th thmart. Nithe craftmanthip.”

“Thanks,” you say, holstering the weapon and packing up your kit. Looking over towards the river, where the girls are hovering around the banks, you raise your voice. “We ready to head out soon?”

Aradia looks back over her shoulder, clearing her hair out of the way with a toss of her head. Something inside you warms at the sight. You like Aradia: you haven't known her long, but the two of you get along like hammer and anvil. You'll admit that your rose-tinted view of adventure has faded somewhat over the last few days, but talking to her reminds you of the sort of things you always hoped to find out there.

“We've got an idea!” she calls, and you offer Sollux a hand to help him to his feet. He accepts and the two of you walk over to where the girls are waiting.

“So, what's this scheme?” you ask.

Jade points to the river. “If I'm right, this goes straight towards Porthaven. We could cut days and days off our journey if we travelled on the water!”

“And it just so happens that we have a boat,” Aradia adds. Sollux groans.

“That thing'th worth _hundredth,”_ he says, pleadingly. Aradia folds her arms.

“So? We have enough to make up for it, and it's not like anyone will buy it off us. You know what the market's like for speciality items. We might as well use it and get into the city earlier.”

“Fine!” Sollux throws up his hands. “Jutht don't thay I didn't try to talk thenthe into you!”

You raise a hand. “What are we talking about, again?”

“This,” says Aradia, holding up a small wooden token, beautifully carved with the image of a swan. You're about to ask what it is when she flicks it into the air and takes a step back. The token flies up then hovers, glowing with a bluish light. You scramble back as lines of pure magic sprout from the token, weaving around one another to create a shape. The first thing that forms is the head of a swan, glowing so bright a blue it's almost blinding white, but then the vines of power weave the shape of a neck that grows out and down until they're filling in the gaps in the hull of a large boat, half in and half out of the water.

The glaring light fades, leaving you looking at a boat carved in the shape of a swan from a smooth white substance that is neither mineral nor wood. You reach out and brush a hand along it, and it feels soft, almost like feathers.

“Right, then,” you say, not daring to speak too loudly in case the miraculous boat is somehow dispelled. “If we give this beauty a good old shove then we should be in the water in just a jiffy!”

Sollux snorts. “Right, becauthe putting it in the water to thtart with would have been too eathy.”

“Well, it's not like I ever used one of these before-” Aradia begins. She's cut off by a loud creaking gulp of a noise, and you all turn on the spot to have a gander at the source. At first you don’t see it, but then the sound comes again and with a rustle of leaves and an earth-shaking thud an immense frog jumps out of the undergrowth.

“Fucking hells,” you say, because whilst you had not really encountered frogs until recently, you had managed to gain the distinct impression that they do not typically come in sizes larger than you. Bec sniffs the air and lets out a small grumble; beside him, Jade’s eyes are as round as saucers.

“That’th a big frog,” says Sollux, swallowing.

“Make that frogs,” you say, as two more hop out of the undergrowth. One of their throats swells and another deep croak fills the air. You gawp in astonishment as another pair emerge. “That is quite a few of the blighters, isn’t it?”

Nodding, Sollux takes a smart step back past you, but Aradia just grins. “Look at them!” she says, clasping her hands in delight. “They’re so cute!”

You’re expecting Jade to agree with her, but when you glance at your sister, she’s frowning like someone just gave her a humdinger of a puzzle to solve. “Mmm, cute,” she says, slowly reaching back towards her musket.

Aradia doesn’t seem phased by her lack of enthusiasm. “Look at their webbed toes!” she says, almost bouncing on the spot. “Oh! And their teeth!”

You look at their teeth. They do not make the frogs seem any cuter to you. Quite the opposite, in fact.

“Maybe we should just get the boat in the water…” you say, and then the lead frog hops closer and its tongue lashes out like a whip. You yell and jump back as it slams against Jade, and your sister just barely ducks aside before it can wrap around her. A trail of thick, gloopy slime dribbles down her armour as the tongue flicks back.

“Right, you bugger!” you say, drawing your pistol in a flash- your old one, your father’s one, not the new one your mother gave you. “If that’s how you want to play this, I’ll be a sport!” The sound of your gunshot echoes around the clearing and the frog rocks, a hole in its flank oozing ichor.

Next to you Jade draws her musket in one smooth motion; the second gunshot sounds before the first has even finished dying away, and then Bec runs past you in a streak of grey fur and fury. The frog looks almost perturbed at wolf bouncing around it, blinking with round orb-like eyes at the snarling mammal.

One of the other frogs croaks and flicks out its tongue, and with a blur of motion Bec flies back into its mouth. Jade lets out a yell but before she can fumble for another shot one of the other frogs approaches with a loose-limbed lollop and snaps its tongue around her. You move to grab your sister, too slow and too late as she is pulled shrieking into the amphibian’s maw.

“JADE!” you bellow, and beside you Aradia raises her hands, all traces of amusement gone. Eldritch light flickers around her hands and you hear distant, soothing music; the frog that is currently trying to chow down on Bec blinks slowly, then closes its eyes and drops its head. Bec rolls out of its mouth, saliva-soaked but otherwise unharmed, and shakes his coat. You see the frog munching Jade sway slightly, but clearly it is made of sterner stuff because its eyes remain obstinately open.

“We need to get to the water!” says Aradia, shoving in futile effort at the boat.

“Why, tho they can follow uth and drag uth into the river?” asks Sollux. He follows his words with a shout that rings in your ears, and a flash of bright scarlet fire shoots past the frog trying to swallow Jade and scorches the undergrowth. Sollux curses, then throws his weight back to try and budge the boat. “Okay, thure, let’th jutht get the fuck out of here!”

The remaining two frogs hop ponderously closer, and you eye them both. Two tongues launch at almost the same moment and you just barely manage to step out of their path, then duck again as the frog you shot earlier takes a snap at you with teeth that are really looking sharper by the moment.

“Yikes!” you say, scrambling back and fumbling for your ammunition. Powder charge, bullet, primer, all go into your pistol in a matter of moments. You hesitate for a fraction of a second as you level the barrel of your weapon at the blasted amphibian.

“If you’re so damned hungry, eat lead!” you yell, and pull the trigger. At this distance you blast a considerable hole in the frog, and actually manage to blow it off balance. It slumps in a growing pool of its own blood, and you look up to see Jade struggling in the mouth of her frog and Bec charging towards it, teeth bared. The frog lets out a muffled croak and along with one of its fellows starts to hop away, vanishing between the trees with shocking speed.

Out of the corner of your eye you see Aradia move, and the distant lullaby sounds again. Through the trees you see the distant frog slump, overtaken by its comrade, but before you can celebrate or help Sollux move the boat the one remaining frog croaks and with a flick of its tongue attempts to consume Bec.

“No you bloody don’t!” you say, reloading on automatic and snapping off a tidy shot. The frog sprouts a bleeding wound, but fails to release your sister’s beloved companion. It hardly even seems put out by the whole affair.

“BEC!” yells Jade, pelting back towards you all. Her hands raise and the air fills with a deep thrum; with the slow creak of ancient timber, the trees at the edge of the clearing spring into ponderous motion, their branches reaching out like grasping wooden fingers, wreathed in green-gold light that sinks through the bark.

Jade slams her hand forwards and down, and one of the trees _bends,_ its trunk slamming down into the hindquarters of the giant frog. It croaks and with a wriggle Bec breaks free of its mouth, rolling to the ground. From behind you there is another air-scorching shout from Sollux, and bright blue lightning crackles past your ear and dances over the frog; it judders and collapses, limbs still twitching, and without waiting another moment you spin round and assist your stalwart companions in getting the boat into the damn river already before any of the bloody things wake up.

You’re up to your knees in the river by the time Jade joins you, shoving the boat out while Bec leaps on top of it and thumps his tail on the logs. You can feel the moment when the current catches it, and then all four of you are scrabbling aboard, half climbing and half-swimming until you’re stretched out laughing and gasping on the smooth white deck. You’re a tangle of limbs jumbled up together, and then Jade laughs and manages to hook an arm around you and you grab Aradia and squeeze and she catches Sollux and then the four of you are hugging and laughing and the whole thing is just so gosh-darned _funny_ because you just fought giant frogs, of all things, and you’re alive.

“I guess they didn’t like you playing with their little cousins,” says Aradia, grinning like a loon at Jade. Your sister thumps her on the arm and Sollux snickers. You beam and, in a fit of sudden ebullence, lean over to plant a big wet smacker right on Aradia’s lips.

You were only really intending for it to be a brief celebratory kiss, but when you try to pull away she grabs you by the hair and turns it into a proper smooch. You’re so surprised that you don’t even think of pushing her away at first, and then when your head’s a little clearer you discover that you’re actually rather enjoying the sensation. Not too surprising, on consideration; after all, Aradia’s a jolly fun chum to have, a darned sight smarter than you, and hardly unattractive. You try to give as good as you get, because really, what’s wrong with two adventuresome pals celebrating their mutual survival and lack of amphibious consumption with a good old-fashioned kiss?

Jade cheers as you break apart and you grin at her, but your smile fades when you see the look on Sollux’s face. He looks like someone just punched him hard in the gut and you abruptly feel guilty for forgetting all about him. He and Aradia are so close; you don’t think they’re together that way, but still, you didn’t mean to ruffle any feathers.

“Sorry, old chap,” you say, apologetically. “Didn’t mean to leave you out of the celebrations.” You give him a bright smile. “Maybe if you asked nicely, Jade would be willing to share a victory smackeroo with you?”

Oh, bother. Now all three of them are glaring at you. You groan and silently curse your big mouth and the utter nonsense that comes out of it; this is going to be a jolly long trip downriver.

### Suggestions Used

 _Aryashi -_ Sollux: Watch Jake clean/fuss over his guns. Examine/Admire(?) the craftmanship.

 _Ms Arano -_ Jake: Be flabbergasted at some thing utterly ridiculous yet also incredibly dangerous.

 _1JakoftheMoon1 -_ Jade: Channel natural forces. Show this faker what being a druid REALLY means.

 _LostSock -_ Anyone from any party: Initiate the groupiest of group hugs.

 _LostSock -_ Jade: Punch someone and/or something.

 _ttd0000 -_ Jake: Make out with someone in a moment of weakness.

 _Evi -_ Jake: Say something old-fashioned and well-meaning but is inappropriate for the situation.

 _1JakoftheMoon1 -_ Jake: Threaten relationships with your weird, dorky attractiveness. Curse existence.

[System Notes](http://celynbrum.tumblr.com/post/60639099939/lodad-system-notes-chapter-73)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone who responded to the equipment call last week! It's been really helpful, and I'll definitely be doing it again in future!
> 
> There are two new fanarts by the wonderful [proserpine-in-phases](http://proserpine-in-phases.tumblr.com/), the [Heir of Breath](http://persephone-the-fish.deviantart.com/art/Heir-of-Breath-396748595) and the [Rogue of Void](http://persephone-the-fish.deviantart.com/art/Rogue-of-Void-397766543), both of which are also now on the relevant god chapters. :)


	74. ==> Terezi: Step Into The Sun

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Hero point votes:**  
>  Jane 1  
> Dave 1  
> Dirk 1  
> Dave 1
> 
>  **Current Hero Points:**  
>  John 2/5, Rose 2/5, Dave 1/3, Jade 2/3  
> Karkat 3/5, Gamzee 2/3, Terezi 2/5  
> Sollux 2/3, Aradia 2/3, Kanaya 3/5  
> Jane 1/5, Jake 2/5, Roxy 2/3, Dirk 1/3

## ==> Terezi: Step Into The Sun

Dawn is coming. You sit on a rocky outcropping beside the road and turn your face towards the paling smear of sky, curious to see what comes next.

In the end your group’s departure from the Quartzkin clanhold was delayed until after dark, because Kanaya suggested that a more gradual adjustment to the surface would be better. She also suggested that Karkat and Gamzee would be more comfortable travelling by night until some more dark eyeglasses could be procured. The moment you stepped out into the dark forest, you knew she had been at least half right. Seeing the empty void of the sky overhead, broken only by the distant light of faraway stars, you had felt like you were about to topple upwards and never stop.

The stars are vanishing now, swallowed by the blue that’s creeping across the sky. The sun hasn’t appeared yet, but judging by the clouds around the horizon you think it’s going to be pink.

Behind you, Gamzee whistles, low and long. “Ain’t that just motherfuckin’ beautiful,” he says, staring into the colourful horizon. You happen to agree, but you stay quiet anyway because you don’t really want to tell him that. You’re sure he’s not appreciating it properly anyway.

“Sure, beautiful,” says Karkat. “Oh, gods, how is it doing that? _Why_ is it doing that? Why the fuck did we come out here when we could have just stayed underground like normal people and not had to deal with this beetleshit? If it gets much brighter than this our eyes are going to liquefy and we’re all just sitting here like drider-feed waiting for it to happen!”

He’s sitting at the foot of the rock you’re on, one hand pressed against stone and the other wrapped into the long stems of surface foliage that are scattered here and there on the mountain path. If anything, he looks even paler than Gamzee, and he’s certainly sweating more now that you’ve left the moderate security of the trees. Karkat spent the whole journey through the forest darting between the cover of their leaves, one hand wrapped firmly around a branch at all times. You don’t think he likes the sky much.

“It will be quite alright,” Kanaya tells him. “Although I would advise all of you to avoid looking directly into the sun when it appears. While your eyes will not liquefy, it would prove extremely disruptive to your vision.”

Karkat lets out a low moan. “Fuck this. Fuck the sun. I hate the sun, it is my nemesis.”

Gamzee pats him absently on the shoulder, and then a sliver of pure light rises above the horizon and you are blinded.

With a sharp gasp you close your eyes and pull off your eyeglasses, pressing your hands against the lids. Karkat starts swearing and Gamzee is humming and you can see lights, blue and green and red, flashing in the dark. Your blood is cold with fear, something old and deep inside you echoing that your sight is gone forever, but slowly the afterimages fade. You slip your eyeglasses back on, staring carefully down when you open your eyes again.

This time the light is uncomfortable, but not dazzling. You guess that the sun is higher now, and there’s enough light to blur out details and make your eyes water, but it’s not so bad that you can’t cope with it. You risk a glance sideways and see that Gamzee’s hands are covering his face, and that Karkat has curled up into a little ball from which the sound of muffled cursing is pouring.

Kanaya gives you a wry smile when your head turns her way. “It takes some getting used to, I’m afraid.”

“Getting used to?” Karkat’s head pops up, one arm still pressed across his eyes. “Fuck, no. No. I would rather deal with that “stars” beetlecrap than this fucking hellball searing its putrid luminescence indelibly across my vision! Oh gods, how the fuck do the surface dwellers stand this, it’s like an unholy portal to the realm of fire and spiderfucking knives rolling across the roof!”

“Sky,” you correct him, rubbing away your involuntary tears with a thumb. Still blinded by the light and his own arm, he makes a rude gesture in your general direction; behind him, one hand pressed against the rock, Gamzee quietly and efficiently throws up.

“According to our guides, there is a village in the pass, not far ahead,” says Kanaya. “If we can all last until then, we will be able to sleep through the brightest parts of the day in relative comfort.”

_“It gets brighter!?”_

“That it does!” You look around to see the blurry but recognisable shape of Lori approaching. “So come on, let’s get going before you all have to go and lie in a dark hole.”

Moaning, groaning and grunting fit to sound like the hordes of the undead, the three of you decamp from your rock and make your way up the slope back to the rest of the party. They’re a little further up the path, waiting for you in the lee of a rocky outcropping, and as they see you approach they all stand up off their packs and start shouldering them again.

“So, how was your first sunrise?” asks Gwiryn, once you’re all in earshot. “Were you overcome by the magic of the dawn, awed by the beauty of a new day?”

“It was bright and painful and stupid,” says Karkat, stomping past him. You snicker behind your hand, and see Lori doing the same. Owain simply shakes his head.

“Alright, let’s keep going, people,” says Dyffyd. You all fall in; there’s not room on the path for anyone to walk more than two abreast, or three if you don’t mind accidentally shoving someone off a mountain from time to time. You do, so you walk next to Kanaya, hovering near the rear where you can keep an eye on everyone. It also puts you as far as possible from Gamzee, who is at the front with Myoc. According to Dyffyd, this is a strategic arrangement that means in the event of an ambush the two of them can just charge straight in. You’re a little sceptical- you still don’t trust that murderous anger they both have- but you’re willing to take the advice of a professional. 

“How are you feeling now?” Kanaya asks, breaking into your reverie.

You think for a moment before replying. “Not too bad, I suppose. The light could be worse, and at least I have my eyeglasses. It’s more than Karkat has.” Or Gamzee, but at least half his problem is that he’s still in withdrawal.

“Yes, well,” says Kanaya. Your ears prick up.

“Miss Kanaya,” you say, a wicked grin spreading. You clutch at her arm. “Could it be that you do not like our little firebrand?”

She shrugs, a little awkwardly. “It is not that I dislike him, precisely,” she says, casting a brief glance over at Karkat who is still covering his eyes and is thus being guided around by a giggling Lori. “It is just that I am reminded of a conversation I recently had with Sollux regarding differing cultural expectations and interpretations of behaviour.”

You tilt your head, listening carefully even as you make note to ask later about these ‘differing cultural expectations’. “And?”

Kanya huffs. “He is crude, emotionally volatile, and while it may be somewhat hypocritical to note given my profession, clearly familiar with violence. It is endearing, perhaps, but I can forsee some inconvenience to us coming from such… _masculine_ behaviour.”

You think about Karkat as you first saw him in the Kutsanmis House, a ragged desperado with shady intentions, and realise just how much your view of him has shifted. Chuckling, you lay a hand on Kanaya’s shoulder. “Give him a chance. He’ll surprise you.”

Kanaya gives you a small smile. “I hope so. I certainly would not want my worst prejudices to be confirmed.”

The two of you walk in silence for a while before you ask; “So what about you?”

“I beg your pardon?”

“How are you feeling?” you say, squinting at her through the shades. The world is a glowing blur of red past your friend’s shoulder; it’s very distracting, and it’s starting to give you a headache. “Much as I’m glad you’re here, you and your comrades seemed close.”

“Ah, yes,” says Kanaya. “Aradia and Sollux.” She sighs heavily, and adjusts the weight of her pack over her shoulders. “They are probably the closest thing I have to family, these days, and are certainly more worthy of that title than the blood-kin I left behind.”

You nod. “You miss them.”

“Like a severed limb,” she agrees. “I know I will see them again- I simply will not allow for there to be another outcome, and neither will Aradia- but it is hard, to begin again and build a new life.” She shakes her head. “Which is of course why I needed to come with you. Even if you were not my dear friend, there are too many traps and pitfalls here on the surface to simply let you fumble for your own way without the benefit of my experience.” She pauses, biting her lip. “If you are willing to accept my advice, of course.”

There’s a patch of growing warmth on your back where you pointedly do not look at the sun. “I believe that your advice will be invaluable,” you say, sincerely. She beams at you, and it shines like the sun overhead.

“Village ho!” Myoc’s voice rumbles around the rock, and you peer up the path past him to see a large blur of grey and brown up ahead. As you draw closer it resolves into a squat circular stone tower, poking up over a palisade of sharpened dead trees. There’s a worn look to the defences, a coating of road-dust and moss that suggests they’ve been left alone for a while, and you frown when you see the wide gate hanging open and no sign of defenders.

“Just asking to get attacked,” Karkat mutters in common, and you nod in agreement. There is something wrong with these people, whoever they are- either that or they’re all dead.

The sight of the undefended fortification doesn’t seem to bother Myoc or his comrades, though, and your group strolls through the open gate with nary a pause. Up close you can see the weeds trying to get a grip between the cracks in the palisade wall, and you check the hilt of your weapon. Kanaya sees the motion and, chuckling, reaches out to move your hand away from it.

“People on the surface are more inclined to expect the best,” she says, smiling at you. “Most of the fortifications in the Greenweald region date from some twenty years ago, when bandit raids were a common occurrence, but since the powerful bands were hunted down there has been little reason for such excessive caution. Guarding gates takes people away from their fields and their hearths; they won’t do it unless there is need.”

You glance back at the open gate, frowning. “And how are they going to know there’s need if they don’t watch the defences?”

“Ah,” says Kanaya. “Therein of course lies the question, the answer to which is a fair source of employment for myself and my collegues.”

You nod, and privately decide that the surface people are fortunate that they have you to watch out for them now.

The village turns out to be a few hundred yards further up the road, and you examine it with interest as you approach. The houses are huddled up against the mountains, wending up the slope to whichever spots have the most surface area to build on, and they’re very little like the buildings you had in Golgesi. The basic structure, of stone blocks arranged into roughly cubic shapes big enough to house people, is the same. As for everything else, you find yourself contemplating the possible reasons for a slanted roof of overlapping slates, and delighting as you realise that the shuttered holes on the side of every building are to allow the sunlight access. You’ve never seen proper buildings that sat so low to the ground, that didn’t use the roof as another room, that are surrounded by and host to growing things as a matter of course.

The people of the village see you approaching, of course; they run about and start shouting in overcommon, and by the time you’re near enough to the centre to make out the long, two-storey buildings that have to be the public heart of the community there’s a small crowd gathered to meet you. They’re a mix of Tuatha and Aelfen, mostly, although you see one or two grey-skinned elves who must be dwarf-born.

You do not find it at all promising that the entire front rank of the crowd consists of burly men with an assortment of heavy and pointy implements.

Dyffyd calls your group to a halt with a wave of his hand, and gestures to Gwiryn to step forward. The Aelfen man does so with a smile that has to be fake, but by no means looks that way.

“Good morning, and good fortune,” he says, spreading his arms in a peaceful, welcoming gesture. Somebody near the back of the crowd shouts something you don’t understand, and he switches to overcommon. You try to puzzle out what’s happening from facial expressions and how much heckling is going on, and quickly realise where the problem lies.

“They don’t want us here,” you whisper to Kanaya. She nods, not taking her eyes off the mob- and it is a mob, damnit. You’re glad you have backup because otherwise this could get ugly.

“They do not,” your friend whispers back. “And given the reasons we left Golgesi, do you blame them?”

You shrug. It’s hard not to take it personally. “So what’s happening?”

“Master Gwiryn is attempting to argue that we are refugees, travelling with them to the north. The villagers, in particular the large man with the hammer at the front, there, are remaining insistant that we are noticeably well-armed and well-armoured for refugees.”

“The hammer man is observant,” you say, looking carefully at the Tuatha in question. “Are we going to get out of this peacefully?”

No sooner have you asked the question than the front rank of the mob all raise their weapons, and a loud holler goes up from the villagers.

“I would say not,” says Kanaya.

The villagers fall into a steady roar, and with a broad grin the hammer-wielding man strolls over to Karkat, hefting his weapon.

Karkat snorts, and with a flash of sun on steel his sickles lash out. You see the hammer crash into his side but then the wielder’s legs are tugged out from under him in a move that you remember painfully well, and he goes crashing to the ground.

You wince. That is going to bruise.

With a yell the rest of the mob charges; you see one run screaming at Karkat with a pick, and another jab at him with a knife, then your view is blocked by a small crowd piling in around Gamzee. You try to circle around the tangled melee, catching sight of the hammer man managing to duck Karkat’s sickles and stand again, and barely manage to step out the way of a flailing, screaming man with an axe who charges past you and completely fails to hit Gamzee.

With a sigh, Kanaya strides past you and with a grace that you don’t remember her possessing slams the hilt of her dwarf-forged sabre into one of the men besieging Gamzee. He staggers, the long curved blade at the tip of his weapon swaying, and then a man with a three-tined long fork jabs at your friend from behind.

He misses, but you simply cannot allow such unruly conduct. You walk up behind him and, copying Kanaya’s example, try to hit him with the hilt of your blade. Unfortunately you take too long to find a target, and he weaves to the side just as you lunge; you stumble forward and the blade of a shovel whisks past your head. It seems that you and your allies are not the only ones utilising surprise from behind as an advantage!

You turn to keep both opponents in view and catch sight of Karkat again, punching the hammer-man in the face hard enough to send him sprawling limp and giving no shits about the ineffectual attacks of his other opponents as they either bounce off his armour or miss entirely. Closer by, a man with a hoe screams and flails at Gamzee before having his weapon wrenched out of his hands. The man with the long curved blade on a stick has turned on Kanaya, to very little effect, and she responds by knocking him cold where he stands. You make another attempt to subdue the man with the long fork before he succeeds in injuring your friend, and barely scrape him before you’re forced to dodge shovel-man again. It occurs to you that this fight contains startling levels of ineptitude; a glance towards your adventuring companions suggests that you are still on your own, as they are beset just as badly as you are. Karkat knocks out another man, the one with the pick, and gets a lucky hit on a man with a knife as the villager turns tail and flees.

“HOOONK!”

With an abyssal roar, Gamzee slams the hoe into the face of the man who was trying to wrestle it back of him, beating him down then turning to a man with a woodaxe and virtually disembowelling him with the sharp end. You growl at the inconvenience. These people attacked first, and you would not exactly mourn their deaths as undeserved, but if anyone dies here then any chance you had to negotiate or _rest_ any time soon will evaporate.

Kanaya manages to step up to Pitchfork and with a single blow drop him to the ground; she shrugs when you look at her, and you tell yourself that she clearly has years of experience over you in this new profession. Perhaps you will do better using some of the skills from your old one; you turn and grin at the idiot with the shovel, spreading your hands to indicate every last one of his fallen friends.

“Go ahead, take a shot,” you say. He blanches, drops the shovel, and runs. You allow yourself a short snicker, before turning back to check on the Kutsanmis boy. You heart sinks when you see his face; the paint makes the snarl on it look worse, somehow; it was never elven, but now it’s gone from bestial to demonic, his eyes almost glowing with raw fury.

Then Karkat slams into him from the side, wrapping his arms around Gamzee’s and yanking the taller boy’s head down into his shoulder. Gamzee’s hands tighten on the hoe, then drop it, his shoulders drooping as he slumps into Karkat’s hold. Karkat glances at the two of you, scowls, and makes a flapping gesture with the hand that’s wrapped around Gamzee’s back. You wave back with your very best shit-eating grin, then run over to the former owner of the hoe. He’s in bad shape, and you’re not much of a healer, but the sparks of power in your prayers are enough to staunch the bleeding and steady his heart. You look over to see Kanaya doing the same, jade light fading around the former axeman, and she gives you a grim nod before turning to take in the huddled crowd of villagers, regrouping at the other end of the square. You reach for Incorruptible again, ready to resume the fight.

“WHAT IN THE NAME OF THE NINE HELLS IS GOING ON HERE?

You tilt your head and watch, intrigued, as the crowd parts and a man strides through. He doesn’t seem particularly prepossessing to you; not noticeably strong, or well-dressed, and unarmed. But he carries himself like a leader, and you catch sight of more than a few villagers trying to hide their makeshift weapons behind their backs like naughty hatchlings.

Gwiryn steps forward to meet him as he comes up to you, and the newcomer’s eyes flick over all of you briefly. He says something quietly that you don’t understand; Gwiryn nods, and the man looks down at the two unconscious men by you and Kanaya.

“You healed them?” he asks, in accented elven that gives away nothing.

Kanaya smiles at him, and says something in overcommon. “It seemed inappropriate to let them perish,” she adds, so that you can understand her.

The man nods, and turns back to the rest of the village. He shouts something that sounds downright sarcastic, and with a few grumbles and some last sullen glances they begin to disperse. A couple of men dart forward and grab the injured; you don’t think you’ve ever seen someone cringe quite so apologetically, and you smirk at them as they scamper away.

The stranger chuckles, then holds his hand out to Gwiryn. “Berin Holder,” he says. “Headman of the village. My brother was an adventurer, towards the end of the bandit raids. Died before the last of the bastards did, but I remember his stories and anyone who’ll heal a fallen foe is a good friend to make.”

“I’m sorry for your loss,” says Gwiryn.

Berin waves it off. “It was a long time ago, and nothing of your doing. What brings you to Greypass?”

“Passing through,” Gwiryn says. “Although we were hoping to find an inn or some such while our more nocturnal friends adjust, I think we would be best to continue on after this greeting.”

Karkat audibly groans, and you can’t help but wilt a little. You’re just so tired of all the brightness already.

“Nonsense!” says Berin. “You can stay with me for the day. I’ve a decent holding up the pass aways, and it’s the least I can do to make up for this boorish lot.”

“Then we would be heartened to accept!” Gwiryn shakes his hand at the wrist, and in a long train you all set out again through the village and up the pass.

Berin’s home turns out to not be far from the village proper; ten minutes of walking brings you to a winding side-path up a grassy slope, and at the top sits a long, L-shaped house with a smoking chimney. You pass animals dotted along the slope, mostly white and all fluffy, and as you near the building you see more of them scattered across the mountain behind.

“Right,” says Berin, as you arrive in a gravel-strewn courtyard. “I’ll just go and tell my wife we have guests- if you need water in the meantime, the well is just over there.”

He hurries off, and you go to investigate the well. It’s surrounded by a shallow wall of stone and covered over by a small roof; peering into it, you can’t see the bottom, which means either it’s more than sixty feet deep or, more likely, your darkvision won’t work while you’re still standing in the sun.

“My god!”

You turn, and almost drop your sword down the well when you see Dyffyd holding Gamzee’s wrist and staring in utter shock at the mark of the Bard on his flesh. Gamzee turns an interesting shade of grey and his arm snaps in towards his body, pressing the torn cloth closed in a completely futile attempt to hide what the adventurer has already seen.

“Ain’t nothin’,” he says, his voice a low growl.

“It is not nothing!” Dyffyd makes an aborted grabbing motion, stopping when Gamzee snarls at him like a cornered wolf.

“What’s not nothing?” asks Lori, wandering over from where she had been examining a coop.

“This boy!” says Dyffyd, almost bouncing up and down on the spot as he points. Gamzee tries to hide behind Karkat. “He is chosen by the Gods! Myoc, did you know about this!?”

The orc shrugs. “I had seen it,” he says. “But the mark on his skin means little compared to the Rage seared across his soul.”

Gamzee plucks at Karkat’s shoulder, only his eyes showing from between his hair and Karkat’s head. “Bro…”

“It doesn’t mean fucking anything at all!” Karkat snaps. “It’s just a mark, it doesn’t mean he wants anything to do with that asshole! I have one too, for the sake of the heavens, and you don’t catch me strutting around like the douchewad of Blood demanding sacrifices and kicking people in the crotch for the sheer malicious pleasure of it!”

The silence that falls across the courtyard is almost palpable. You try really, really hard not to lounge casually back against the well and fail dismally.

“You- your skin? It’s marked with the sign of Blood?” If Dyffyd’s eyes get any wider, you think they’re going to roll clean out of his head.

The rest of the adventurers look torn between fascination and skepticism. “Why would he choose a Drow of Golgesi?” asks Gwiryn.

“Yeah, Rage I can understand, but the Knight is hardly going to find a fount of brotherhood in that hellpit,” Lori agrees.

Karkat stares between them. “What the driderbaiting fucknuggets are you on about?”

You raise a finger. “Perhaps I can be of some assistance!” You push off from the low stone wall and saunter over, draping an arm around Karkat’s shoulders and grinning at him when he hunches away from you. “This charming lady and her gentlemen associates,” you say, indicating the adventurers with a broad sweep of your hand, “are worshippers of the candy-red King, remember?”

The look he gives you is utterly, hopelessly lost, and you have to remind yourself that he didn’t grow up like you did, surrounded by people who thought he was special and god-touched and chosen.

“Seriously?” he asks, his voice cracking. “I thought that was just some line of beetleshit you were all feeding me.”

“Why in the world would you think that?” asks Gwiryn, frowning slightly. “I mean, I know that the followers of the Shield-Brother have lost their way south of the mountains, but I would have thought your people remembered the old ways.”

“On the contrary,” says Kanaya, addressing the bard with her eyes still on Karkat. “The religious institutions under which we grew up would consider worship of any deity other than the Holy Sisters or their approved subordinate cults to be heresy of the highest order, punishable by impalement.”

Karkat shivers, and Lori and Gwiryn both pull faces. Owain’s expression darkens, and Myoc strolls over to pull Gamzee into a one-armed hug that practically envelops the skinny elf.

Only Dyffyd remains unaffected, still staring in awe at Karkat. “The Knight of Blood is the god of brotherhood and sacrifice,” he says. “He’s the god of _heroes._ And whoever he chooses, wherever they are from, that place is _blessed.”_

“Ha ha, very funny,” says Karkat, looking no less alarmed. “No, really. With humour like that I’m surprised you’re not a fucking troubadour, performing in noble courts and rolling in piles of money and naked bodies every night. How spellshitting hilarious! Let’s all make fun of Karkat because he’s been screwed over since hatching and before-”

“Show them,” you say. Karkat stares at you; you take a moment to appreciate the delicious scarlet of his eyes before giving him a small nod of encouragement. He looks to Gamzee and you see Kutsanmis give him a smile that could mean anything, but apparently means go ahead because with a deep breath, your little Shanty rat (and he is yours, he is absolutely yours, you saw him first and you helped save him and that means you have dibs) unfolds his arm and pulls back his sleeve, revealing the mark of darker skin on his wrist.

Dyffyd lets out an incomprehensible squawk and drops to his knees, tears pouring down his face. One by one, each of the adventurers but Myoc kneels in front of him; you watch in fond amusement as Karkat’s jaw drops, and then snaps closed.

“This isn’t a joke, is it?” he hisses in common. You shake your head, and watch with interest the expressions that flit across his face. Disbelief, astonishment, wonder, fear, and eventually glee that grows until it shines out of every line of his face. You make a note to investigate some of those reactions further, when you’re not busy watching him bloom into an adorable little shit right in front of your eyes.

“Alright,” he says, teeth glinting as he shrugs off your arm and steps forward. “Let’s get one thing straight; I’m in charge here, and nobody gets to fuck with me, got it?”

“So it shall be,” chorus the followers of his God, with the intonation of a religious response. All except Dyffyd, that is, who makes more incoherent squeaking noises that you suspect count as affirmative.

“Right,” says Karkat, giving the cleric a sidelong look. “Now, first things first, we are keeping me incognito. That means no telling your high priestesses or your lay preachers or any other asshole you might want to blab to about me unless and until I say so, got it?”

More assent. Karkat huffs.

“That means you can’t just start kneeling down and worshipping me all over the place, idiots. People will notice something. I admit they don’t exactly seem to breed them very smart around here but they still have fucking eyes.”

The adventurers nod and start to get to their feet, only to be held in place by Karkat raising a hand.

“I said you couldn’t just worship me any time, anywhere,” he says, smirking.”But I think we can probably stand another minute or two of this before the silvery shitmuncher who owns this dump comes back. Kneel before your god’s chosen soul, peons!”

They bow down again, and you snicker. Kanaya catches your eye and purses her lips sternly; you shake your head and jerk your head towards Karkat in response. You’ll have a word with him about hubris later- or better yet, you’ll let Kanaya have it. For now, you’ll let him enjoy this.

He’s an adorabloodthirsty little tyrant, and it’s nothing you can’t fix later.

### Suggestions Used

 _LostSock -_ Terezi: Be the one most harshly affected by sunlight, but manage to recover quicker than everyone else.

 _nanrea -_ Karkat: Throw Tantrum over Daylight existing

 _WhiteTiger1221 -_ Kanaya: Find that your initial impressions of Karkat fit most stereotypes of Drow men.

 _ttd0000 -_ Gamzee: TICK tock BREAK heads HONK honk

 _Hmmmmm, nah -_ Gamzee: Accidently have your godmark shown to the followers of the knight of blood and bard of rage follower(s).

 _Politicalmetrics -_ Karkat: (if Knight of Blood worshippers find out about his birthmark) Refuse to let them treat you any differently! Insist you are nothing like the Knight of Blood, Nothing!!

 _1JakoftheMoon1 -_ KoB followers: be slightly disturbed by how your savior is a Drow of all things. Get over it and call the whole race blessed for spawning your god's... whatever you consider him.

 _Craft -_ That Blood God worshipper: Upon meeting Karkat, run out of all ability to can and start spazzing out on the floor. [Follows: At least one Blood God worshipper: Be shown to be a calm, rational and often skeptical individual.]

 _mzingalwa -_ Followers of Knight of Blood: Transition into full on Cultist fanboy worshipping mode when they find out Karkat is chosen by the Knight of blood

 _Sandi -_ Karkat: Get a familiar bad feeling about the church of blood knowing about you from your dream, be wary of your followers and try to get the followers that you meet to be careful who they tell about you and your visions.

 _mzingalwa -_ Karkat: Consider reacting to this development with good grace and modesty

 _mzingalwa -_ Karkat: Ignore that idea and go into full "BOW BEFORE ME MINIONS" mode while the rest of the group tries to do something productive in the background

[System Notes](http://celynbrum.tumblr.com/post/61299169003/lodad-system-notes-chapter-74)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Right, two announcements: firstly, Karkat suggestions are now permitted again. Secondly, any suggestions involving the Adventurers/Blood followers are currently banned.
> 
> Now I go to curl up and be sad because I read the homestuck updates last night after two days away from my computer. :'(


	75. -- LEVEL FOUR --

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Hero point votes:**  
>  Dave 2  
> Karkat 2  
> Dirk 1  
> Jane 1  
> A DRAW HAS OCCURRED! D20 Roll - Odds for Dave, Evens for Karkat  
> ROLL OF 4 - KARKAT GAINS ONE HERO POINT!  
> Voting now frozen for Hero Point awards. 
> 
> **Current Hero Points:**  
>  John 3/5, Rose 3/5, Dave 2/3, Jade 3/3  
> Karkat 5/5, Gamzee 3/3, Terezi 3/5  
> Sollux 3/3, Aradia 3/3, Kanaya 4/5  
> Jane 2/5, Jake 3/5, Roxy 3/3, Dirk 2/3

JOHN EGBERT [FIGHTER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/fighter.html#_fighter) ([TWO-HANDED FIGHTER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/fighter.html#_two-handed-fighter)) 4  
NEUTRAL GOOD

TL:DR – John is now marginally more dexterous, thus qualifying for moar feats at later levels. Also he can pretty much play whack-a-mole with bad guys now.

[](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/sag5qckzisgbafz/John%20Egbert.png?dl=0)

BASIC STATISTICS  
GENDER: Male  
HAIR/EYES: Black hair, blue eyes  
HOMELAND: City of Porthaven (Outer Ring)  
DEITY: The Heir of Breath  
LANGUAGES: Common, High Elven  
RACE: Tuatha (High Elf)

ATTRIBUTES  
STRENGTH: 15[+2]  
DEXTERITY: 13[+1]  
CONSTITUTION: 12[+1]  
INTELLIGENCE: 10[+0]  
WISDOM: 12[+1]  
CHARISMA: 13[+1]

HIT POINTS: 31/31  
HERO POINTS: 3/5  
INITIATIVE: +1  
BASE SPEED/S: 30ft (land)

ARMOUR CLASS [AC]: 14  
TOUCH AC: 11  
FLAT-FOOTED AC: 13

BASE ATTACK BONUS [BAB]: +4  
BASIC MELEE ATTACK: +6  
BASIC RANGED ATTACK: +5  
COMBAT MANEUVER BONUS [CMB]: +6 (+7 for Sundering)  
COMBAT MANEUVER DEFENCE [CMD]: 17 (18 for Sundering)

SAVES  
FORTITUDE: +6  
REFLEX: +3  
WILL: +3

[WEAPONS/ATTACKS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_weapon-descriptions)  
[WARHAMMER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_warhammer) \- Wielded two-handed for greater damage, and with the option of Power Attack for greater damage with lower accuracy.  
[DAGGER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_dagger) \- Can be thrown, range 10ft.

EQUIPMENT - [CARRYING CAPACITY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/additionalRules.html#_carrying-capacity) (STR 16)

EQUIPMENT - ITEM SLOTS  
CLOTHING: ARTISAN'S OUTFIT  
This outfit consists of a shirt with buttons, drawstring pants, shoes, and a slightly battered hat. It also includes a belt for carrying small items such as a money pouch.

ARMOUR: MASTERWORK STUDDED LEATHER  
+3 armour bonus, +5 max DEX bonus, 0 Armour Check Penalty, 15% Arcane Spell Failure Chance, LIGHT  
SPECIAL: Masterwork armour has an Armour Check Penalty one lower than normal and can be enchanted.

EQUIPMENT - POSSESSIONS  
Warhammer 5lbs, Masterwork Studded Leather 20lbs, Dagger 1lb, Waterskin 4lbs

>BACKPACK, MASTERWORK 4lbs (Capacity 60lbs, +1 STR to carry loads)  
Tent (Medium, 2 people) 30lbs, Bedroll 5lbs, Parade Armour 20lbs

>POUCH, BELT 0.5lbs (Capacity 10lbs)  
Flint and Steel, Bird Feather Token [x2], Itching Powder [x1] 2lbs

TOTAL 93.5lbs (34.5lbs without backpack)

EQUIPMENT - MONEY  
0CP, 6SP, 60GP, 0PP  
OTHER:

SKILLS  
TRAINED  
BLUFF +4(3), DIPLOMACY +5(4), +KNOWLEDGE(DUNGEONEERING) +6(3), +PROFESSION(PORTHAVEN GUARD) +5(1)

UNTRAINED  
ACROBATICS +1*, APPRAISE +0, +CLIMB +2*, +CRAFT +0, DISGUISE +1, ESCAPE ARTIST +1*, HEAL +1, +INTIMIDATE +1, PERCEPTION +3, PERFORM +1, +RIDE +1*, SENSE MOTIVE +1, STEALTH +1*, +SURVIVAL +1, +SWIM +2*  
(FLY +1*)

*Armour Check Penalty: Skill at –0 due to armour worn.  
+Class Skill

FEATS  
[POWER ATTACK [REQUIRES: STR 13, BAB+1]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_power-attack)  
The character can make exceptionally deadly melee attacks by sacrificing accuracy for strength.

[FURIOUS FOCUS [REQUIRES: POWER ATTACK]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/advancedFeats.html#_furious-focus)   
Even in the midst of fierce and furious blows, the character can find focus in the carnage and his seemingly wild blows strike home.

[RACIAL ABILITIES: ELVEN](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advancedRaceGuide/coreRaces/elves.html#_elf-racial-traits)  
LANGUAGES - Tuatha begin play speaking Common and High Elven. Tuatha with high Intelligence scores can choose from the following: Celestial, Draconic, Gnoll, Gnome, Goblin, Orc, and Sylvan.

SPECIAL ABILITIES  
GODMARKED  
[HERO’S FORTUNE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/advancedNewRules.html#_hero's-fortune) \- Even at the start of his career, it was clear that the character had a chance at greatness, and his legend continues to grow with every adventure.  
[DEFLECTION AURA](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/cleric.html#_deflection-aura) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) - The character can emit an aura that makes nearby allies harder to hit for a short time dependent on his character level.  
EXTRA - The character receives a +1 resistance bonus on saving throws. This bonus increases by +1 for every 5 levels he possesses.  
[WHISPERING WIND](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/whisperingWind.html#_whispering-wind%0A) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) - Sends a short message 1 mile/level.

CLASS FEATURES  
WEAPON AND ARMOUR PROFICIENCY: FIGHTER  
A fighter is proficient with all simple and martial weapons and with all armour (heavy, light, and medium) and shields (including tower shields).

FEAT: [CLEAVE [REQUIRES: POWER ATTACK]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_cleave)  
The fighter can strike two adjacent foes with a single swing.

FEAT: [GREAT CLEAVE [REQUIRES: CLEAVE, BAB +4]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_great-cleave)  
The fighter can strike many adjacent foes with a single blow.

FEAT: [PUSHING ASSAULT [REQUIRES: STR 15, POWER ATTACK, BAB +1]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/advancedFeats.html#_pushing-assault)  
A strike made with a two-handed weapon can push a similar sized opponent backward.

[SHATTERING STRIKE (+1)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/fighter.html#_shattering-strike) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
At 2nd level, the two-handed fighter gains a bonus to sunder attempts and on damage rolls made against objects. 

[OVERHAND CHOP [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/fighter.html#_overhand-chop)   
At 3rd level, a two-handed fighter making a single attack with a two-handed weapon strikes more powerfully.

* * *

ROSE LALONDE [ORACLE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/baseClasses/oracle.html) \- [DARK TAPESTRY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spellcastingClassOptions/oracle.html#_dark-tapestry) ([SEER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spellcastingClassOptions/oracle.html#_seer_\(archetype\))) 4  
TRUE NEUTRAL

TL:DR – Rose's Charisma improved, positively benefitting most of her spellcasting and class abilities. She also gained access to more powerful spells!

[](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/il67n14ylluufcn/Rose%20Lalonde.png?dl=0)

BASIC STATISTICS  
GENDER: Female  
HAIR/EYES: Blonde hair, purple eyes  
HOMELAND: City of Porthaven (Temple District)  
DEITY: The Seer of Light  
LANGUAGES: Common, Celestial, Abyssal, Draconic, Sylvan  
RACE: Aasimar

ATTRIBUTES  
STRENGTH: 8[-1]  
DEXTERITY: 12[+1]  
CONSTITUTION: 10[+0]  
INTELLIGENCE: 14[+2]  
WISDOM: 15[+2]  
CHARISMA: 18[+4]

HIT POINTS: 24/24  
HERO POINTS: 3/5  
INITIATIVE: +1  
BASE SPEED/S: 30ft (land)

ARMOUR CLASS [AC]: 13  
TOUCH AC: 11  
FLAT-FOOTED AC: 12

BASE ATTACK BONUS [BAB]: +3  
BASIC MELEE ATTACK: +2  
BASIC RANGED ATTACK: +4  
COMBAT MANEUVER BONUS [CMB]: +2  
COMBAT MANEUVER DEFENCE [CMD]: 13

SAVES  
FORTITUDE: +0  
REFLEX: +1  
WILL: +6

[WEAPONS/ATTACKS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_weapon-descriptions)  
[DAGGER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_dagger) \- Can be thrown, range 10ft.  
[COLOUR SPRAY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/colorSpray.html#_color-spray) [WAND](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/magicItems/wands.html#_wands) (3/Day) – Standard Action to activate, does not provoke Attacks of Opportunity. 

EQUIPMENT - [CARRYING CAPACITY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/additionalRules.html#_carrying-capacity) (STR 8)

EQUIPMENT - ITEM SLOTS  
CLOTHING: ENTERTAINER'S OUTFIT  
This set of flashy- perhaps even gaudy- clothes is for entertaining. While the outfit looks whimsical, its practical design lets the character tumble, dance, walk a tightrope, or just run if the audience turns ugly.

ARMOUR: LEATHER ARMOUR  
+2 armour bonus, +6 max DEX bonus, -0 Armour Check Penalty, 10% Arcane Spell Failure Chance, LIGHT

EQUIPMENT - POSSESSIONS  
Colour Spray Wand, Dagger 1lb, Leather Armour 15lbs, Waterskin 4lbs, Holy Symbol (Silver) 1lb, Signet Ring

>POUCH, BELT 0.5lbs (Capacity 10lbs)  
Flint and Steel, Sewing Needle, String/Twine [50ft] 0.5lbs

>POUCH, BELT 0.5lbs (Capacity 10lbs)  
Stationary, Sealing Wax 1lb, Ink (Black) [1oz. Vial], Ink (Purple) [1oz. Vial], Inkpen, Journal 1lb

TOTAL 24.5lbs

EQUIPMENT - MONEY  
9CP, 5SP, 17GP, 0PP  
OTHER:

SKILLS  
TRAINED  
+DIPLOMACY +10(2), +INTIMIDATE +8(2), +KNOWLEDGE HISTORY +6(1), +KNOWLEDGE NOBILITY +7(2), +KNOWLEDGE PLANES +12(4), +KNOWLEDGE RELIGION +9(4), +SENSE MOTIVE +9(4), +SPELLCRAFT +9(4), USE MAGIC DEVICE +5(2)

UNTRAINED  
ACROBATICS +1*, APPRAISE +2, BLUFF +3, CLIMB -1*, +CRAFT +2, +DISGUISE +3, ESCAPE ARTIST +1*, +HEAL +2, PERCEPTION +4, PERFORM +3, RIDE +1*, +STEALTH +1*, SURVIVAL +2, SWIM -1*  
(FLY +1*)

*Armour Check Penalty: Skill at –0 due to armour worn.  
+Class Skill

FEATS  
[COMBAT CASTING](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_combat-casting)  
The character is adept at spellcasting when threatened or distracted.

[SKILL FOCUS (KNOWLEDGE PLANES)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_skill-focus)   
The character is particularly adept at the selected skill.

[RACIAL ABILITIES: AASIMAR](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advancedRaceGuide/featuredRaces/aasimars.html#_aasimar-racial-traits)  
AASIMARS DO NOT COUNT AS OUTSIDERS FOR THE PURPOSE OF THIS SETTING.  
[DAYLIGHT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/daylight.html#_daylight) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Aasimars can touch an object and cause it to shed a brilliant light which drives back even magical darkness.  
LANGUAGES – Aasimars begin play speaking Common and Celestial. Aasimars with high Intelligence scores can choose any of the following bonus languages: Draconic, Dwarven, High Elven, Gnome, Halfling, and Sylvan.

SPECIAL ABILITIES  
GODMARKED  
[HERO’S FORTUNE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/advancedNewRules.html#_hero's-fortune) \- Even at the start of her career, it was clear that the character had a chance at greatness, and her legend continues to grow with every adventure.  
[LORE KEEPER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/cleric.html#_knowledge-domain) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] – The character can touch a creature to learn about its abilities and weaknesses.  
EXTRA – The character treats all Knowledge skills as class skills.  
[TRUE STRIKE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/trueStrike.html#_true-strike) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) - The character gains temporary, intuitive insight into the immediate future during her next attack.

CLASS FEATURES  
WEAPON AND ARMOUR PROFICIENCY: ORACLE  
Oracles are proficient with all simple weapons, light armour, medium armour, and shields (except tower shields).

[CURSE: TONGUES (Abyssal)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/baseClasses/oracle.html#_tongues)  
Whenever the oracle is in combat, she can only speak and understand the Abyssal tongue. She automatically knows the language and can speak it at other times voluntarily.

[REVELATION: NATURAL DIVINATION [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/baseClasses/oracle.html#_natural-divination)  
An oracle can read the entrails of a freshly killed animal, interpret the flights of birds, and chart marks in dirt or stone to gain small advantages at some point in the next day.

REVELATION: [GIFT OF PROPHECY [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spellcastingClassOptions/oracle.html#_gift-of-prophecy)(1 USE/DAY)  
Once per day, the Oracle can enter a trance to gain a glimpse of the future equivalent to the benefits of an [augury](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/augury.html#_augury) spell with 90% effectiveness.

SPELLS  
LEVEL 0 [At Will] Save DC 14  
[DETECT MAGIC](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/detectMagic.html#detect-magic), [ENHANCED DIPLOMACY](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/all-spells/e/enhanced-diplomacy), [GUIDANCE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/guidance.html#guidance), [LIGHT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/light.html#light), [READ MAGIC](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/readMagic.html#read-magic), [STABILIZE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/stabilize.html#stabilize)

LEVEL 1 [7/Day] Save DC 15  
[ABADAR'S](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/all-spells/a/abadar-s-truthtelling) [TRUTHTELLING](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/zoneOfTruth.html#zone-of-truth), [CURE LIGHT WOUNDS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/cureLightWounds.html#cure-light-wounds), [ENTROPIC SHIELD](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/entropicShield.html#_entropic-shield), [INFLICT LIGHT WOUNDS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/inflictLightWounds.html#inflict-light-wounds), [EMBRACE DESTINY](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/all-spells/e/embrace-destiny)

LEVEL 2 [4/Day] Save DC 16  
[CURE MODERATE WOUNDS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/cureModerateWounds.html#_cure-moderate-wounds), [DETECT THOUGHTS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/detectThoughts.html#_detect-thoughts), [INFLICT MODERATE WOUNDS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/inflictModerateWounds.html#_inflict-moderate-wounds)

* * *

DAVE STRIDER [ROGUE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/rogue.html#_rogue) ([SWASHBUCKLER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/rogue.html#_swashbuckler)) 4  
TRUE NEUTRAL

TL:DR – Dave's Intelligence increased slightly, basically to qualify him for stuff later. He also got real fast at reacting to danger, and can stab enemies REALLY hard in the voonerables.

[](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/uzfpwx30poxj4xj/Dave%20Strider.png?dl=0)

BASIC STATISTICS  
GENDER: Male  
HAIR/EYES: Blonde hair, red eyes  
HOMELAND: City of Porthaven (No Fixed Abode)/The Greenweald Forest Region (No Fixed Abode)  
DEITY: The Knight of Time  
LANGUAGES: Common, Celestial, High Elven  
RACE: Aasimar

ATTRIBUTES  
STRENGTH: 14[+2]  
DEXTERITY: 15[+2]  
CONSTITUTION: 13[+1]  
INTELLIGENCE: 13[+1]  
WISDOM: 12[+1]  
CHARISMA: 10[+0]

HIT POINTS: 28/28  
HERO POINTS: 3/3  
INITIATIVE: +2  
BASE SPEED/S: 30ft (land)

ARMOUR CLASS [AC]: 15  
TOUCH AC: 12  
FLAT-FOOTED AC: 13

BASE ATTACK BONUS [BAB]: +3  
BASIC MELEE ATTACK: +5  
BASIC RANGED ATTACK: +5  
COMBAT MANEUVER BONUS [CMB]: +5  
COMBAT MANEUVER DEFENCE [CMD]: 17

SAVES  
FORTITUDE: +2  
REFLEX: +6  
WILL: +2

[WEAPONS/ATTACKS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_weapon-descriptions)  
CALIBURN (UNKNOWN [BASTARD SWORD](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_bastard-sword)) - This large hand-and-a-half weapon can magically repair itself when broken. Any other qualities of this weapon are as yet unknown.  
[LONGSWORD](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_longsword) \- [Fragile Quality](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/combat/primitiveArmorAndWeapons.html#fragile), can use two-handed for additional damage but cannot use buckler.  
[SHORTSWORD](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_shortsword)  
[DAGGER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_dagger) \- Can be thrown, range 10ft.

EQUIPMENT - [CARRYING CAPACITY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/additionalRules.html#_carrying-capacity) (STR 15)

EQUIPMENT - ITEM SLOTS  
CLOTHING: PICKPOCKET'S OUTFIT + MASK  
Outfitted with concealed pockets, this clothing gives the character a +2 bonus on hiding small objects on his person. It consists of a pull-on shirt with long sleeves, a loose jacket, drawstring pants, boots and a sturdy belt. The mask is an ornately decorated strip of dark fabric with eye-holes, that both mimics and mocks a stereotypical "bandit" mask.

ARMOUR: LEATHER ARMOUR  
+2 armour bonus, +6 max DEX bonus, -0 Armour Check Penalty, 10% Arcane Spell Failure Chance, LIGHT

SHIELD: BUCKLER  
+1 shield bonus, -1 Armour Check Penalty, 5% Arcane Spell Failure Chance  
SPECIAL: The character can use his shield arm to wield a weapon, but takes a -1 penalty on attack rolls while doing so, and loses the +1 shield bonus to AC until his next turn. It is not possible to shield bash with a buckler.

EQUIPMENT - POSSESSIONS  
Caliburn 6lbs, Longsword (Fragile) 4lbs, Shortsword 2lbs, Leather Armour 15lbs, Clothing (Mask, 3gp) 1lb, Buckler 5lbs, Dagger 1lb

>BACKPACK, MASTERWORK 4lbs (Capacity 60lbs, +1 STR to carry loads)  
Tent (Small, 1 person) 20lbs, Bedroll 5lbs, Kit (Cooking) 2lbs

>POUCH, BELT 0.5lbs (Capacity 10lbs)  
Flint and Steel, Whetstone 1lb

>POUCH, PATHFINDER 1lbs (Capacity 10lbs)[Extra-Dimensional Space, Command Word Activated, Does Not Detect As Magical]  
Tools (Thieves') 1lb, Waterskin 4lbs

TOTAL 65.5lbs (34.5lbs without backpack)

EQUIPMENT - MONEY  
8CP, 0SP, 3GP, 0PP  
OTHER:

SKILLS  
TRAINED  
+ACROBATICS +9(4)*, +APPRAISE +7(3), +BLUFF +10(4), +DISABLE DEVICE* +6(1), +ESCAPE ARTIST +9(4)*, +INTIMIDATE +5(2), +KNOWLEDGE LOCAL +6(2), +PERCEPTION +10(4), +PERFORM(ILL BEATS AND SICK FIRES) +7(4), +SLEIGHT OF HAND +7(2)*, +STEALTH +9(4)*, +USE MAGIC DEVICE +7(4)

UNTRAINED  
+CLIMB +2*, +CRAFT +1, +DIPLOMACY +2, +DISGUISE +0, HEAL +1, PERFORM +0, RIDE +2*, +SENSE MOTIVE +1, SURVIVAL +1, +SWIM +2*  
(FLY +2*)

*Armour Check Penalty: Skill at –1 due to armour worn.  
+Class Skill

FEATS  
[ SKILL FOCUS (BLUFF)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_skill-focus)  
The character is particularly adept at the chosen skill.

[DISPOSABLE WEAPON [REQUIRES: BAB+1, WEAPON PROFICIENCY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/ultimateCombatFeats.html#_disposable-weapon)   
The character ignores the limitations of his equipment, striking harder despite the damage it does to his weapon.

[RACIAL ABILITIES: AASIMAR](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advancedRaceGuide/featuredRaces/aasimars.html#_aasimar-racial-traits)  
AASIMARS DO NOT COUNT AS OUTSIDERS FOR THE PURPOSE OF THIS SETTING.  
[DAYLIGHT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/daylight.html#_daylight) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Aasimars can touch an object and cause it to shed a brilliant light which drives back even magical darkness.  
LANGUAGES – Aasimars begin play speaking Common and Celestial. Aasimars with high Intelligence scores can choose any of the following bonus languages: Draconic, Dwarven, High Elven, Gnome, Halfling, and Sylvan.

SPECIAL ABILITIES  
GODMARKED  
WEAPON PROFICIENCY (BASTARD SWORD)  
[INSPIRING COMMAND](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/cleric.html#_inspiring-command) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] – The character can issue an inspiring command to his allies, improving their accuracy, defence, and focus for a short time.  
[DEATHWATCH](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/deathwatch.html#_deathwatch) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) - The character can determine the condition of creatures near death within the spell's range.

CLASS FEATURES  
WEAPON AND ARMOUR PROFICIENCY: ROGUE  
Rogues are proficient with all simple weapons, plus the hand crossbow, rapier, sap, shortbow, and short sword. They are proficient with light armour, but not with shields.

[MARTIAL TRAINING [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY] (Longsword)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/rogue.html#_martial-training)  
At first level, the swashbuckler may select one martial weapon to add to his list of weapon proficiencies. In addition, he may take the combat trick rogue talent up to two times. 

[SNEAK ATTACK [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY] (+2d6 Precision Damage)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/rogue.html#_sneak-attack)  
A rogue can strike a vital spot for more damage whenever their foe is in a vulnerable position.

[EVASION](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/rogue.html#_evasion-rogue) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
At 2nd level and higher, the rogue can avoid even magical and unusual attacks with great agility.

[DARING [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/rogue.html#_daring)   
At 3rd level, the swashbuckler becomes more nimble and resistant to fear.

[UNCANNY DODGE [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/rogue.html#_uncanny-dodge-rogue)   
At 4th level, the rogue can react to danger before his senses would normally allow him to do so.

ROGUE TALENTS  
[BLEEDING ATTACK](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/rogue.html#_rogue-talents-bleeding-attack) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
A rogue with this ability can cause living opponents to bleed by hitting them with a sneak attack.  
[POWERFUL SNEAK]() [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
A rogue with this ability can take a penalty to attack to treat all 1s on sneak attack damage dice as 2s.

* * *

JADE HARLEY [DRUID](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/druid.html#_druid) ([WOLF SHAMAN](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/druid.html#_wolf-shaman)) 4  
NEUTRAL GOOD

TL:DR – Jade's Wisdom increased, boosting class features and spellcasting. More importantly, she gained Wildshape- the ability to turn into animals!

[ ](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/j3ycsucgf308cn9/Jade%20Harley.png?dl=0)

BASIC STATISTICS  
GENDER: Female  
HAIR/EYES: Black hair, green eyes  
HOMELAND: The Greenweald Forest Region (The Whispering Grove)  
DEITY: The Witch of Space  
LANGUAGES: Common, High Elven, Sylvan, Druidic  
RACE: Tuatha (High Elf)

ATTRIBUTES  
STRENGTH: 8[-1]  
DEXTERITY: 15[+2]  
CONSTITUTION: 12[+1]  
INTELLIGENCE: 12[+1]  
WISDOM: 16[+3]  
CHARISMA: 12[+1]

HIT POINTS: 26/26  
HERO POINTS: 3/3  
INITIATIVE: +2  
BASE SPEED/S: 30ft (land)

ARMOUR CLASS [AC]: 13  
TOUCH AC: 12  
FLAT-FOOTED AC: 11

BASE ATTACK BONUS [BAB]: +3  
BASIC MELEE ATTACK: +2  
BASIC RANGED ATTACK: +5  
COMBAT MANEUVER BONUS [CMB]: +2  
COMBAT MANEUVER DEFENCE [CMD]: 14

SAVES  
FORTITUDE: +5  
REFLEX: +3  
WILL: +6  
+4 to all Saving Throws against the spell-like and supernatural abilities of Fey.

[WEAPONS/ATTACKS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_weapon-descriptions)  
[MASTERWORK MUSKET](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/combat/firearms.html#_musket) \- Ammunition 29 bullets, 29 black powder charges (both required to fire).  
[SLING](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_sling) – Less damage from improvised ammunition.  
[DAGGER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_dagger) \- Can be thrown, range 10ft.

EQUIPMENT - [CARRYING CAPACITY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/additionalRules.html#_carrying-capacity) (STR 16)

EQUIPMENT - ITEM SLOTS  
CLOTHING: TRAVELLER'S OUTFIT  
This set of clothes consists of boots, a wool skirt, a sturdy belt, a shirt with a vest, and an ample cloak with a hood.

ARMOUR: PADDED ARMOUR  
+1 armour bonus, +8 max DEX bonus, -0 Armour Check Penalty, 5% Arcane Spell Failure Chance, LIGHT

SHOULDERS: [MULEBACK CORDS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/magicItems/wondrousItems.html#_muleback-cords)  
These thick leather cords wrap around the wearer's biceps and shoulders; when worn, they make the muscles appear larger than normal and allow her to carry far more than usual.

EQUIPMENT - POSSESSIONS  
Masterwork Musket 9lb, Sling, Padded Armour 10lbs, Muleback Cords 0.25lbs, Dagger 1lb, Waterskin 4lbs

>BACKPACK, COMMON 2lbs (Capacity 60lbs)  
Tent (Small, 1 person) 20lbs, Bedroll 5lbs, Rations (Trail) [x18] 18lbs

>POUCH, BELT 0.5lbs (Capacity 10lbs)  
Flint and Steel, Holly and Mistletoe, Fishhook, Whistle (Silent)

>POUCH, BELT 0.5lbs (Capacity 10lbs)  
Sling Bullets [x20] 10lbs, Firearm Bullets [x30] 0.5lbs 

>POWDER HORN 1lb (Capacity 10 x Black Powder)  
Black Powder [x9] [crafted at 10% cost]

>POWDER HORN 1lb (Capacity 10 x Black Powder)  
Black Powder [x10] [crafted at 10% cost]

>POWDER HORN 1lb (Capacity 10 x Black Powder)  
Black Powder [x10] [crafted at 10% cost]

TOTAL 83.25lbs (36.25lbs without backpack)

EQUIPMENT - MONEY  
0CP, 7SP, 550GP, 0PP  
OTHER:

SKILLS  
TRAINED  
+HEAL +8(1), +HANDLE ANIMAL +8(4), KNOWLEDGE (DUNGEONEERING) +3(2), +KNOWLEDGE(GEOGRAPHY) +7(3), +KNOWLEDGE(NATURE) +10(4), +PERCEPTION +8(1), +SPELLCRAFT +8(4), +SURVIVAL +13(4)

UNTRAINED  
ACROBATICS +2*, APPRAISE +1, BLUFF +1, +CLIMB -1*, +CRAFT +1, DIPLOMACY +1, DISGUISE +1, ESCAPE ARTIST +2*, INTIMIDATE +1, PERFORM +1, +RIDE +2*, SENSE MOTIVE +2, STEALTH +2*, SWIM -1*  
(+FLY +2*)

*Armour Check Penalty: Skill at –0 due to armour worn.  
+Class Skill

FEATS  
[SELF-SUFFICIENT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_self-sufficient)  
The character knows how to get along in the wild and how to effectively treat wounds.

[DEADLY AIM [REQUIRES: DEX 13, BAB +1]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_deadly-aim)   
The character can make exceptionally deadly ranged attacks by pinpointing a foe's weak spot, at the expense of making the attack less likely to succeed.

[RACIAL ABILITIES: ELVEN](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advancedRaceGuide/coreRaces/elves.html#_elf-racial-traits)  
LANGUAGES - Tuatha begin play speaking Common and High Elven. Tuatha with high Intelligence scores can choose from the following: Celestial, Draconic, Gnoll, Gnome, Goblin, Orc, and Sylvan.

SPECIAL ABILITIES  
GODMARKED  
WEAPON PROFICIENCY (MUSKET)  
[DIVINE VESSEL](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/cleric.html#_divine-vessel) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (4 USES/DAY) – The character can, whenever divine magic is cast on her, grant her nearby allies a boon on one of their next actions.  
[LONGSTRIDER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/longstrider.html#_longstrider) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) - This power gives the character a +10 foot enhancement bonus to her base speed.

CLASS FEATURES  
WEAPON AND ARMOUR PROFICIENCY: DRUID  
Druids are proficient with the following weapons: club, dagger, dart, quarterstaff, scimitar, scythe, sickle, shortspear, sling, and spear. They are also proficient with all natural attacks (claw, bite, and so forth) of any form they assume with wild shape.  
Druids are proficient with light and medium armour but are prohibited from wearing metal armour. Druids are proficient with shields (except tower shields) but must use only wooden ones. A druid who wears prohibited armour or uses a prohibited shield is unable to cast druid spells or use any supernatural or spell-like class abilities while doing so, and for 24 hours thereafter.

[SPONTANEOUS CASTING](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/druid.html#_spontaneous-casting-druid)  
A druid can channel stored spell energy to summon a creature to aid her.

[NATURE BOND [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/druid.html#wolf-shaman): ANIMAL COMPANION (BEC, [WOLF](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/monsters/wolf.html#_wolf))  
HIT POINTS: 25/25  
SIZE: Medium SPEED: 50ft  
STR 14[+2], DEX 16[+3], CON 16[+3], INT 2[-4], WIS 12[+1], CHA 6[-2]  
ATTACK:  
BAB: +3 ATTACK: BITE +5 (1d6+2), trip  
CMB: +5  
DEFENCE:  
AC: 19 (Natural Armour +5)  
CMD: 18  
SAVES: FORT 6, REF 7, WILL 2  
SKILLS:  
Survival 2, Perception 5, Intimidate 0  
FEATS:  
[Improved Natural Armour](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/additionalMonsters/monsterFeats.html#improved-natural-armor), [Dodge](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_dodge)  
TRICKS:  
Down – The animal breaks off from combat or otherwise backs down.  
Guard – The animal stays in place and prevents others from approaching.  
SPECIAL ABILITIES:  
[Low-Light Vision](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/glossary.html#_low-light-vision), [Scent](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/glossary.html#_scent), [Link](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/druid.html#_companions-link), [Share Spells](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/druid.html#_companions-share-spells), [Evasion](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/druid.html#_companions-evasion)

NATURE SENSE [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
A druid is more knowledgeable about nature and better able to survive in the wilderness.

WILD EMPATHY [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
A druid can communicate wordlessly with an animal, in the hope of making it more friendly towards the druid and her allies. A wolf shaman is particularly good at communicating with canines.

[WOODLAND STRIDE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/druid.html#_woodland-stride-druid) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
Starting at 2nd level, the druid may move through any sort of undergrowth (such as natural thorns, briars, overgrown areas, and similar terrain) at her normal speed.

[TOTEM TRANSFORMATION](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/druid.html#_wolf-shaman) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (2 MINUTES/DAY, STANDARD ACTION)  
At 2nd level, the wolf shaman may adopt an aspect of the wolf while retaining her normal form. She gains one of the following bonuses:  
>MOVEMENT (+20 enhancement bonus to land speed)  
>SENSES (low-light vision, +4 racial bonus to Survival when tracking by scent)  
>NATURAL WEAPONS (bite [1d4 plus trip], +2 CMB to trip)  
While using totem transformation, the wolf shaman may speak normally and can cast speak with animals (canines only) at will.

[TRACKLESS STEP [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/druid.html#_trackless-step)   
At 3rd level, the druid no longer leaves a trail in natural surroundings and cannot be tracked unless she chooses to be.

[RESIST NATURE'S LURE [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/druid.html#_resist-nature-s-lure)   
Starting at 4th level, a druid becomes more resistant to the magical abilities of fey.

[WILD SHAPE [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/druid.html#_wild-shape)   
At 4th level, a druid gains the ability to turn herself into any small or Medium animal and back again once per day, like the [beast shape I spell](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/beastShape.html#_beast-shape-i).

SPELLS  
[DRUID LEVEL 0](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/spell-lists-and-domains/spell-lists---druid#p0) [4 Prepared, At Will] Save DC 13  
+KNOW DIRECTION – You discern north.  
+MENDING – Makes minor repairs on an object.  
+SPARK – Ignites flammable objects. +STABILIZE – Cause a dying creature to stabilize.

[DRUID LEVEL 1](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/spell-lists-and-domains/spell-lists---druid#p1) [4/Day Prepared] Save DC 14  
+++CURE LIGHT WOUNDS – Cures 1d8 damage +1/level (max +5).  
+ENTANGLE - Plants entangle everyone in 40-ft. radius.

[DRUID LEVEL 2](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/spell-lists-and-domains/spell-lists---druid#p2) [3/Day Prepared] Save DC 15  
+FOREST FRIEND - Plants in a forested area become helpful instead of hindering you and your allies.  
++WILDERNESS SOLDIERS – Nearby plants aid you in combat.

* * *

KARKAT VANTAS [FIGHTER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/fighter.html#_fighter) ([MOBILE FIGHTER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/fighter.html#_mobile-fighter)) 4  
TRUE NEUTRAL

TL:DR – Various minor bonuses, including an increased Intelligence. Can now sacrifice attack accuracy for increased defence in combat.

[](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/11umnvjokvfc600/Karkat%20Vantas.png?dl=0)

BASIC STATISTICS  
GENDER: Male  
HAIR/EYES: White hair, red eyes  
HOMELAND: City of Golgesi (The Shanties)  
DEITY: The Knight of Blood  
LANGUAGES: Undercommon, High Elven, Drow Sign Language  
RACE: Drow (Dark Elf)

ATTRIBUTES  
STRENGTH: 14[+2]  
DEXTERITY: 17[+3]  
CONSTITUTION: 11[+0]  
INTELLIGENCE: 13[+1]  
WISDOM: 8[-1]  
CHARISMA: 12[+1]

HIT POINTS: 26/26  
HERO POINTS: 5/5  
INITIATIVE: +3  
BASE SPEED/S: 30ft (land)

ARMOUR CLASS [AC]: 18  
TOUCH AC: 14  
FLAT-FOOTED AC: 14

BASE ATTACK BONUS [BAB]: +4  
BASIC MELEE ATTACK: +6  
BASIC RANGED ATTACK: +7  
COMBAT MANEUVER BONUS [CMB]: +6  
COMBAT MANEUVER DEFENCE [CMD]: 19

SAVES  
FORTITUDE: +4  
REFLEX: +4  
WILL: +0

[WEAPONS/ATTACKS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_weapon-descriptions)  
[DUAL MASTERWORK SICKLES](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_sickle) – Two attacks a round at a reduced attack bonus, or one attack a round at normal attack bonus. This is a [trip](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/equipment.html#_trip) weapon.  
[DAGGER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_dagger) \- Can be thrown, range 10ft.

EQUIPMENT - [CARRYING CAPACITY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/additionalRules.html#_carrying-capacity) (STR 15)

EQUIPMENT - ITEM SLOTS  
CLOTHING: TRAVELLER'S OUTFIT  
This set of clothes consists of boots, a wool skirt or breeches, a sturdy belt, a shirt (perhaps with a vest or jacket), and an ample coat with a hood.

ARMOUR: MASTERWORK MITHRAL CHAIN SHIRT  
+4 armour bonus, +7 max DEX bonus, -0 Armour Check Penalty, 10% Arcane Spell Failure Chance, LIGHT  
SPECIAL: An item made from mithral weighs half as much as the same item made from other metals. Masterwork armour has an Armour Check Penalty one lower than normal and can be enchanted.

EQUIPMENT - POSSESSIONS  
Sickle [x2] 4lbs, Masterwork Mithral Chain Shirt 12.5lbs, Dagger 1lb, Waterskin 4lbs

>BACKPACK, MASTERWORK 4lbs (Capacity 60lbs, +1 STR to carry loads)  
Blanket (Common) 1lb, Rations (Trail) [x18] 18lb, Pesh Dose [x1], Compass 0.5lbs, Karkat's Tattered Journal 3lbs

>POUCH, BELT 0.5lbs (Capacity 10lbs)  
Flint and Steel, Charcoal Stick [x2], Whetstone 1lb, Potion of Remove Curse [x1], Potion of Cure Light Wounds [x1]

TOTAL 55.5lbs (21lbs without backpack)

EQUIPMENT - MONEY  
0CP, 0SP, 500GP, 0PP  
OTHER:

SKILLS  
TRAINED  
ACROBATICS +6(3)*, +CLIMB +6(1)*, +INTIMIDATE +7(3), KNOWLEDGE(LOCAL) +1(1), PERCEPTION +5(4), SENSE MOTIVE +3(4)

UNTRAINED  
APPRAISE +0, BLUFF +1, +CRAFT +0, DIPLOMACY +1, DISGUISE +1, ESCAPE ARTIST +3*, HEAL -1, PERFORM +1, +RIDE +3*, STEALTH +3*, +SURVIVAL -1, +SWIM +2*  
(FLY +3*)

*Armour Check Penalty: Skill at –0 due to armour worn.  
+Class Skill

FEATS  
[COMBAT REFLEXES](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_combat-reflexes)  
The character can make additional attacks of opportunity.

[DODGE [REQUIRES: DEX 13]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_dodge)   
The character's training and reflexes allow him to react swiftly to avoid an opponents' attacks.

[RACIAL ABILITIES: DROW](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advancedRaceGuide/featuredRaces/drow.html#_drow-racial-traits)  
[DANCING LIGHTS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/dancingLights.html#_dancing-lights) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Drow can create up to four illusory lights and direct their motion.  
[DARKNESS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/darkness.html#_darkness) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Drow can touch an object and cause it to radiate a deep darkness that dims even magical light.  
[FAERIE FIRE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/faerieFire.html#_faerie-fire) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Drow can cause a person to glow with a pale fire that clings to them even if they are not otherwise visible.  
LANGUAGES - Drow begin play speaking Undercommon and High Elven. Drow with high Intelligence can choose bonus languages from the following: Common, Dark Folk, Draconic, Drow Sign Language, Dwarven, Gnome, Goblin or Infernal.

SPECIAL ABILITIES  
GODMARKED  
[HERO’S FORTUNE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/advancedNewRules.html#_hero's-fortune) \- Even at the start of his career, it was clear that the character had a chance at greatness, and his legend continues to grow with every adventure.  
[INSPIRING COMMAND](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/cleric.html#_inspiring-command) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] – The character can issue an inspiring command to his allies, improving their accuracy, defence, and focus for a short time.  
[ALARM](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/alarm.html#_alarm) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) - Alarm creates a subtle ward on a selected area.

CLASS FEATURES  
WEAPON AND ARMOUR PROFICIENCY: FIGHTER  
A fighter is proficient with all simple and martial weapons and with all armour (heavy, light, and medium) and shields (including tower shields).

FEAT: [TWO-WEAPON FIGHTING [REQUIRES: DEX 15]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_two-weapon-fighting)  
The fighter can fight with a weapon wielded in each of his hands. He can make one extra attack each round with the secondary weapon.

FEAT: [WEAPON FOCUS (SICKLE) [REQUIRES: WEAPON PROFICIENCY, BAB +1]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_weapon-focus)  
The fighter gains a bonus on all attack rolls he makes using the selected weapon.

FEAT: [COMBAT EXPERTISE [REQUIRES: INT 13]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_combat-expertise)  
The fighter can increase his defence at the expense of his accuracy.

[AGILITY (+1)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/fighter.html#_agility) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
At 2nd level, the mobile fighter gains a bonus on saving throws made against effects that cause him to become paralysed, slowed, or entangled.

[ARMOUR TRAINING [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/fighter.html#_armor-training)   
At 3rd level, the fighter learns to be more manoeuvrable in armour and is less encumbered by heavier armour.

* * *

GAMZEE MAKARA [BARBARIAN](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/barbarian.html#_barbarian) 4  
CHAOTIC NEUTRAL

TL:DR – Stronger, and new rage power! Gamzee can now chase people who try to get away from him while he's raging really, really easily...

[](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/2ehz6ry1ylp53ty/Gamzee%20Makara.png?dl=0)

BASIC STATISTICS  
GENDER: Male  
HAIR/EYES: White hair, purple eyes  
HOMELAND: City of Golgesi (House Kutsanmis Enclave)  
DEITY: The Bard of Rage  
LANGUAGES: Undercommon, High Elven  
RACE: Drow (Dark Elf)

ATTRIBUTES  
STRENGTH: 15[+2] (19[+4])  
WITHDRAWAL: 12(16): -1 to all STR  
DEXTERITY: 15[+2]  
PESH HIGH: 11: -2 to all DEX  
CONSTITUTION: 13[+1] (17[+3])  
WITHDRAWAL: 11(15): -1 to all CON  
INTELLIGENCE: 8[-1]  
WISDOM: 12[+1]  
PESH HIGH: 8: -2 to all WIS  
CHARISMA: 12[+1]

HIT POINTS: 37(45)/37(45) [+15 PESH HIGH- FIRST HOUR ONLY]  
HERO POINTS: 3/3  
INITIATIVE: +2  
BASE SPEED/S: 40ft (land)

ARMOUR CLASS [AC]: 16(14) [+1 VS TRAPS]  
TOUCH AC: 12(10)  
FLAT-FOOTED AC: 14(12)

BASE ATTACK BONUS [BAB]: +4  
BASIC MELEE ATTACK: +6(8)  
BASIC RANGED ATTACK: +6  
COMBAT MANEUVER BONUS [CMB]: +6(8)  
COMBAT MANEUVER DEFENCE [CMD]: 18(20)

SAVES  
FORTITUDE: +4(6) CURRENT PESH ADDICTION DC: 14  
REFLEX: +3 [+1 VS TRAPS]  
WILL: +4(6) PESH HIGH: +2 morale bonus versus fear effects.

[WEAPONS/ATTACKS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_weapon-descriptions)  
[WARHAMMER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_warhammer)  
[IMPROVISED WEAPONS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/equipment.html#_improvised-weapons) – Attack as per basic ranged or melee attack, and damage as per closest match on the weapon list. There is a +1 circumstance bonus to attack rolls for improvised splash weapons.

EQUIPMENT - [CARRYING CAPACITY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/additionalRules.html#_carrying-capacity) (STR 15/19)

EQUIPMENT - ITEM SLOTS  
CLOTHING: TRAVELLER'S OUTFIT  
This set of clothes consists of boots, wool breeches, a sturdy belt, a shirt (perhaps with a vest or jacket), and an ample coat with a hood.

ARMOUR: HIDE  
+4 armour bonus, +4 max DEX bonus, -3 Armour Check Penalty, 20% Arcane Spell Failure Chance, MEDIUM

EQUIPMENT - POSSESSIONS  
Hide Armour 25lbs, Warhammer 5lbs, Waterskin 4lbs

>[HANDY HAVERSACK](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/magicItems/wondrousItems.html#_handy-haversack) 5lbs (Extradimensional Space, Capacity 80lbs+20lbs+20lbs)  
Tent (Pavilion, 10 people) 50lbs, Rations (Trail) [x20] 20lb  
Bedroll 5lbs, Blanket (Common) 1lb  
Kit (Cooking) 2lbs, Kit (Mess) 1lb, Kit (Gear Maintenance) 2lbs, Kit (Grooming) 2lbs, Kit (Entertainer’s) 3lbs

>POUCH, BELT 0.5lbs (Capacity 10lbs)  
Potion of Cure Light Wounds [x4], Flint and Steel, [Waterproof War Paint Kit](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic-items/3rd-party-magic-items/3rd-party-wondrous-items/4-winds-fantasy-gaming/waterproof-war-paint-kit) 1lb [10 uses] 

TOTAL 40.5lbs (70lbs+6lbs+10lbs in EDS) 

EQUIPMENT - MONEY  
0CP, 8SP, 501GP, 0PP  
OTHER:  
[PESH COSTS 20GP/DOSE]

SKILLS  
TRAINED  
+ACROBATICS +6(1)*, BLUFF +2(1), +CRAFT(COOKING) +3(1), +INTIMIDATE +8(4), PERFORM(CHILL RHYMES) +3(2), STEALTH +6(4)*

UNTRAINED  
APPRAISE -1, +CLIMB +2*, +CRAFT +0, DIPLOMACY +1, DISGUISE +1, ESCAPE ARTIST +2*, HEAL +1, +PERCEPTION +1, PERFORM +1, +RIDE +2*, SENSE MOTIVE +1, STEALTH +2*, +SURVIVAL +1, +SWIM +2*  
(FLY +2*)

*Armour Check Penalty: Skill at –3 due to armour worn  
+Class Skill

FEATS  
[THROW ANYTHING](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_throw-anything)  
The character is used to throwing things he has on hand.

[POWER ATTACK [REQUIRES: STR 13, BAB+1]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_power-attack)   
The character can make exceptionally deadly melee attacks by sacrificing accuracy for strength.

[RACIAL ABILITIES: DROW](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advancedRaceGuide/featuredRaces/drow.html#_drow-racial-traits)  
[DANCING LIGHTS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/dancingLights.html#_dancing-lights) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Drow can create up to four illusory lights and direct their motion.  
[DARKNESS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/darkness.html#_darkness) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Drow can touch an object and cause it to radiate a deep darkness that dims even magical light.  
[FAERIE FIRE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/faerieFire.html#_faerie-fire) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Drow can cause a person to glow with a pale fire that clings to them even if they are not otherwise visible.  
LANGUAGES - Drow begin play speaking Undercommon and High Elven. Drow with high Intelligence can choose bonus languages from the following: Common, Dark Folk, Draconic, Drow Sign Language, Dwarven, Gnome, Goblin or Infernal.

SPECIAL ABILITIES  
[PESH ADDICTION](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/mastery/drugsAndAddiction.html#_drugs-and-addiction) – [ADVENTURER'S ARMOURY VERSION](www.d20pfsrd.com/equipment---final/goods-and-services/herbs-oils-other-substances)  
A Pesh high lasts for one day. For the first hour, the character is tougher, and for the full day he is braver, but he is also uncoordinated, unfocused, and mentally pliable. When the character comes down from this high, he suffers physical weakness and fragility. Curing the addiction without magical intervention is a long and difficult process, requiring good physical health and complete abstinence.

GODMARKED  
CATCH OFF-GUARD: Foes are surprised by the character’s skilled use of unorthodox and improvised weapons.  
[DESTRUCTIVE SMITE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/cleric.html#_destruction-domain) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (4 USES/DAY)– The character can do more damage on a single melee attack, dependent on his character level.  
[ENLARGE PERSON](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/enlargePerson.html#_enlarge-person) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) - This power causes instant growth of a humanoid creature, doubling its height and multiplying its weight by 8.

CLASS FEATURES  
WEAPON AND ARMOUR PROFICIENCY: BARBARIAN  
A barbarian is proficient with all simple and martial weapons, light armour, medium armour and shields (except tower shields).

FAST MOVEMENT [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
A barbarian can move faster than other members of his race, so long as he is not heavily burdened.

[RAGE](paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/barbarian.html#_rage) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY] (9 ROUNDS/DAY)  
A barbarian can call on inner reserves of strength and ferocity, granting him additional combat prowess for a while but exhausting him when spent.

RAGE POWERS  
[INTIMIDATING GLARE [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/barbarian.html#_rage-powers-intimidating-glare)  
While raging, the barbarian can make an Intimidate check against one adjacent foe and attempt to leave them shaken.  
[NO ESCAPE [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/barbarian.html#_rage-powers-no-escape)  
Once per rage, the barbarian can move up to double his normal speed as an immediate action but he can only use this ability when an adjacent foe uses a withdraw action to move away from him.

[UNCANNY DODGE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/barbarian.html#_uncanny-dodge-barbarian) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
At 2nd level, the barbarian gains the ability to react to danger before his senses would normally allow him to do so.

[TRAP SENSE [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/barbarian.html#_trap-sense-barbarian)   
At 3rd level, the barbarian becomes adept at avoiding traps.

* * *

TEREZI PYROPE [INQUISITOR](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/baseClasses/inquisitor.html) 4  
LAWFUL NEUTRAL

TL:DR – Became wiser and thus better at all class features. Gained second-level spellcasting, and spells that let her see invisible things or gain the scent ability.

[](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/wl6ml2kzprk9fvd/Terezi%20Pyrope.png?dl=0)

BASIC STATISTICS  
GENDER: Female  
HAIR/EYES: White hair, teal eyes  
HOMELAND: City of Golgesi (Temple Spire)  
DEITY: The Seer of Mind  
LANGUAGES: Undercommon, High Elven, Infernal  
RACE: Drow (Dark Elf)

ATTRIBUTES  
STRENGTH: 10[+0]  
DEXTERITY: 15[+2]  
CONSTITUTION: 12[+1]  
INTELLIGENCE: 12[+1]  
WISDOM: 16[+3]  
CHARISMA: 10[+0]

HIT POINTS: 27/27  
HERO POINTS: 3/5  
INITIATIVE: +5  
BASE SPEED/S: 30ft (land)

ARMOUR CLASS [AC]: 16  
TOUCH AC: 12  
FLAT-FOOTED AC: 14

BASE ATTACK BONUS [BAB]: +3  
BASIC MELEE ATTACK: +3  
BASIC RANGED ATTACK: +5  
COMBAT MANEUVER BONUS [CMB]: +3  
COMBAT MANEUVER DEFENCE [CMD]: 15

SAVES  
FORTITUDE: +5  
REFLEX: +3  
WILL: +7

[WEAPONS/ATTACKS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_weapon-descriptions)  
INCORRUPTIBLE ([SILVERSHEEN](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/equipment---final/special-materials#TOC-Silversheen) [SWORD CANE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/advancedGear.html#_sword-cane)) - A more accurate but less damaging weapon, all but immune to rusting away.  
[SWORD CANE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/advancedGear.html#_sword-cane) \- The blade is well-concealed in the cane.  
[CROSSBOW, LIGHT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_light-crossbow) – 20 ammunition  
[DAGGER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_dagger) \- Can be thrown, range 10ft.

EQUIPMENT - [CARRYING CAPACITY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/additionalRules.html#_carrying-capacity) (STR 10)

EQUIPMENT - ITEM SLOTS  
CLOTHING: EXPLORER'S OUTFIT  
This set of clothes is for someone who never knows what to expect. It includes sturdy boots, leather breeches, a belt, a shirt, gloves and a cloak. The clothes have plenty of pockets (especially the cloak). The outfit also includes any extra accessories the character might need, such as a scarf or a wide-brimmed hat.

ARMOUR: ARMOURED COAT  
+4 armour bonus, +3 max DEX bonus, -2 Armour Check Penalty, 20% Arcane Spell Failure Chance, MEDIUM  
SPECIAL: Can be donned or removed as a move action (there is no “don hastily” option for an armoured coat). If worn over other armour, use the better AC bonus and worse value in all other categories; an armoured coat has no effect if worn with heavy armour. The only magic effects that apply are those worn on top.

EQUIPMENT - POSSESSIONS  
Incorruptible (Silversheen Sword Cane) 4lbs, Crossbow (Light) 4lbs, Bolts (Crossbow) [x40] 4lb, Armoured Coat 20lbs, Eyeglasses, Holy Symbol (Copper) 0.5lb, Dagger 1lb, Waterskin 4lbs

>BACKPACK, COMMON 2lbs (Capacity 60lbs)  
Bedroll 5lb, Blanket (Common) 1lb, Rope (Hemp) [50ft] 10lbs, Sword Cane 4lbs, Manacles 2lbs

>POUCH, BELT 0.5lbs (Capacity 10lbs)  
Flint and Steel, Whetstone 1lb, Bandages of Rapid Recovery 1lb, Potion of Cure Light Wounds [x1], Wound Paste [x3] 0.5lbs, Charcoal Stick [x1], Page of Karkat's Journal

TOTAL 46lbs (30lbs without backpack)

EQUIPMENT - MONEY  
8CP, 9SP, 503GP, 0PP  
OTHER:

SKILLS  
TRAINED  
+BLUFF +7(4), +DIPLOMACY +7(4), +INTIMIDATE +9(4), +KNOWLEDGE DUNGEONEERING +8(4), +KNOWLEDGE LOCAL +6(2), +KNOWLEDGE RELIGION +7(3), +PERCEPTION +10(4), +PROFESSION(GOLGESI LAWKEEPER) +7(1), +SENSE MOTIVE +12(4)

UNTRAINED  
ACROBATICS +2*, APPRAISE +1, +CLIMB +0*, +CRAFT +1, +DISGUISE +0, ESCAPE ARTIST +2*, +HEAL +3, PERFORM +0, +RIDE +2*, STEALTH +2*, SURVIVAL +3, SWIM +0*  
(FLY +2*)

*Armour Check Penalty: Skill at –2 due to armour worn.  
+Class Skill

FEATS  
[BLIND-FIGHT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_blind-fight%0A)  
The character is skilled at attacking opponents that she cannot clearly perceive.

[JUDGMENT SURGE [REQUIRES: JUDGMENT CLASS FEATURE]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/ultimateMagicFeats.html#_judgment-surge) (1 USE/DAY)  
Once per day, the power of the character's faith surges, further empowering her judgements.

[RACIAL ABILITIES: DROW](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advancedRaceGuide/featuredRaces/drow.html#_drow-racial-traits)  
[DANCING LIGHTS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/dancingLights.html#_dancing-lights) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Drow can create up to four illusory lights and direct their motion.  
[DARKNESS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/darkness.html#_darkness) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Drow can touch an object and cause it to radiate a deep darkness that dims even magical light.  
[FAERIE FIRE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/faerieFire.html#_faerie-fire) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Drow can cause a person to glow with a pale fire that clings to them even if they are not otherwise visible.  
LANGUAGES - Drow begin play speaking Undercommon and High Elven. Drow with high Intelligence can choose bonus languages from the following: Common, Dark Folk, Draconic, Drow Sign Language, Dwarven, Gnome, Goblin or Infernal.

SPECIAL ABILITIES  
GODMARKED  
[HERO’S FORTUNE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/advancedNewRules.html#_hero's-fortune) \- Even at the start of her career, it was clear that the character had a chance at greatness, and her legend continues to grow with every adventure.  
[LORE KEEPER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/cleric.html#_knowledge-domain) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] – The character can touch a creature to learn about its abilities and weaknesses.  
EXTRA – The character treats all Knowledge skills as class skills.  
[DISGUISE SELF](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/disguiseSelf.html#_disguise-self) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) - The character's appearance changes— potentially including clothing, armor, weapons, and equipment. She cannot change her creature type, but otherwise the extent of the apparent change is up to her.

CLASS FEATURES  
WEAPON AND ARMOUR PROFICIENCY: INQUISITOR  
An inquisitor is proficient with all simple weapons, plus the hand crossbow, longbow, repeating crossbow, shortbow, and the favoured weapon of her deity (THE SEER OF MIND favours the SWORD CANE). She is also proficient with light armour, medium armour, and shields (except tower shields).

DOMAIN: [INQUISITION (Justice)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spellcastingClassOptions/inquisitor.html#_justice-inquisition)  
JUDICIOUS FORCE [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (3 USES/DAY)  
The inquisitor or an ally next to her has a better chance of doing a massively damaging strike to their foe.

[JUDGEMENT](paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/baseClasses/inquisitor.html#_judgment) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (2 USES/DAY)  
The inquisitor can gain one of several abilities for a combat, so long as she is able to participate in the action. She can also switch which ability she is using partway through.

MONSTER LORE [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
The inquisitor is skilled at identifying the abilities and weaknesses of creatures.

STERN GAZE [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
Inquisitors are skilled at sensing deception and intimidating their foes.

[DETECT ALIGNMENT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/baseClasses/inquisitor.html#_detect-alignment) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY]  
At will, the inquisitor can use _detect chaos, detect evil, detect good_ or _detect law._ She can only use one of these at any given time.

[TRACK](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/baseClasses/inquisitor.html#_track) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
At 2nd level, the inquisitor adds half her level on Survival skill checks made to follow or identify tracks.

[SOLO TACTICS [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/baseClasses/inquisitor.html#_solo-tactics)   
At 3rd level, the Inquisitor can make use of her teamwork feats as if her allies had the same feats as she did, although only she can reap the benefits.

[TEAMWORK FEAT: LOOKOUT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/advancedFeats.html#_lookout)   
The inquisitor's allies help her avoid being surprised.

SPELLS  
LEVEL 0 [At Will] Save DC 13  
[BRAND](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/spells/brand.html#_brand), [DAZE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/daze.html#_daze), [DETECT MAGIC](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/detectMagic.html#_detect-magic), [DETECT POISON](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/detectPoison.html#_detect-poison), [SIFT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/spells/sift.html#_sift), [STABILIZE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/stabilize.html#_stabilize)

LEVEL 1 [4/Day] Save DC 14  
[COMPREHEND LANGUAGES](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/comprehendLanguages.html#_comprehend-languages), [CURE LIGHT WOUNDS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/cureLightWounds.html#_cure-light-wounds), [DIVINE FAVOUR](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/divineFavor.html#_divine-favor), [PERSUASIVE GOAD](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spells/persuasiveGoad.html#_persuasive-goad)

LEVEL 2 [2/Day] Save DC 15  
[BLOODHOUND](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/spells/bloodhound.html#_bloodhound), [SEE INVISIBILITY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/seeInvisibility.html#_see-invisibility)

* * *

SOLLUX CAPTOR [SORCERER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/sorcerer.html#_sorcerer) \- [ARCANE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/sorcerer.html#_arcane) ([SAGE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spellcastingClassOptions/sorcerer.html#_sage))/[DESTINED](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/sorcerer.html#_destined) ([KARMIC](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spellcastingClassOptions/sorcerer.html#_karmic)) ([CROSSBLOODED](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spellcastingClassOptions/sorcerer.html#_crossblooded-\(archetype\)) [WORDCASTER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/ultimateMagicWordsOfPower.html)) 4  
CHAOTIC NEUTRAL

TL:DR – Increased intelligence leads to improved class abilities, and Sollux has gained the ability to cast more powerful spells. He does not currently have access to more powerful words, but he will be able to dual-cast less powerful ones!

[](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/kgu19nfbaxeezfh/Sollux%20Captor.png?dl=0)

BASIC STATISTICS  
GENDER: Male  
HAIR/EYES: White hair, one red and one blue eye  
HOMELAND: The Greenweald Forest Region (No Fixed Abode)  
DEITY: The Mage of Doom  
LANGUAGES: Common, High Elven, Orc, Infernal, Undercommon  
RACE: Halfbreed (Drow/Tiefling)

ATTRIBUTES  
STRENGTH: 12[+1]  
DEXTERITY: 14[+2]  
CONSTITUTION: 13[+1]  
INTELLIGENCE: 18[+4]  
WISDOM: 8[-1]  
CHARISMA: 10[+0]

HIT POINTS: 23/23  
HERO POINTS: 3/3  
INITIATIVE: +2  
BASE SPEED/S: 30ft (land)

ARMOUR CLASS [AC]: 13  
TOUCH AC: 12  
FLAT-FOOTED AC: 11

BASE ATTACK BONUS [BAB]: +2  
BASIC MELEE ATTACK: +3  
BASIC RANGED ATTACK: +4  
COMBAT MANEUVER BONUS [CMB]: +3  
COMBAT MANEUVER DEFENCE [CMD]: 15

SAVES  
FORTITUDE: +2  
REFLEX: +3  
WILL: +3

[WEAPONS/ATTACKS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_weapon-descriptions)  
[SHURIKEN](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_shuriken) \- 5 Ammunition

EQUIPMENT - [CARRYING CAPACITY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/additionalRules.html#_carrying-capacity) (STR 13)

EQUIPMENT - ITEM SLOTS  
CLOTHING: EXPLORER'S OUTFIT  
This set of clothes is for someone who never knows what to expect. It includes sturdy boots, leather breeches, a belt, a shirt with a jacket, gloves and a cloak. The clothes have plenty of pockets (especially the cloak). The outfit also includes any extra accessories the character might need, such as a scarf or a wide-brimmed hat.

NECK: HAUNTED BROKEN AMULET OF THE LABYRINTH (SIR WILLIAM COSBIE)  
Effect Unknown

WRISTS: [BRACERS OF ARMOUR +1](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/magicItems/wondrousItems.html#_bracers-of-armor)  
These items appear to be wrist or arm guards. They surround the wearer with an invisible but tangible field of force, granting him an armour bonus of +1, just as though he were wearing armour. Both bracers must be worn for the magic to be effective.

EQUIPMENT - POSSESSIONS  
Shuriken [x5] 0.5lb, Bracers of Armour +1 1lb, Eyeglasses, Haunted Broken Amulet of the Labyrinth

>BACKPACK, MASTERWORK 4lbs (Capacity 60lbs, +1 STR to carry loads)  
Tent (Medium, 2 people) 30lbs, Bedroll [x2] 10lbs, Blanket (Common) [x2] 2lb, Mysterious Journal 3lbs

TOTAL 50.5lbs (1.5lbs without backpack)

EQUIPMENT - MONEY  
0CP, 8SP, 513GP, 0PP  
OTHER:

SKILLS  
TRAINED  
APPRAISE +7(3), +KNOWLEDGE ARCANA +13(4), +KNOWLEDGE DUNGEONEERING +11(4), +KNOWLEDGE HISTORY +10(3), +SPELLCRAFT +13(4), +USE MAGIC DEVICE +8(4)

UNTRAINED  
+ACROBATICS +2*, +BLUFF -1, CLIMB +1*, +CRAFT +3, DIPLOMACY +0, DISGUISE +0, ESCAPE ARTIST +2*, HEAL -1, +INTIMIDATE +0, PERCEPTION -1, PERFORM +0, RIDE +2*, SENSE MOTIVE +0, STEALTH +0*, SURVIVAL -1, SWIM +1*  
(+FLY +2*)

*Armour Check Penalty: Skill at –0 due to armour worn.  
+Class Skill

FEATS  
EXTRA WORD [CASTER LEVEL 1ST IN BARD, ORACLE OR SORCERER]   
The character has uncovered a new word of power.

[COMBAT CASTING](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_combat-casting)   
The character is adept at spellcasting when threatened or distracted.

[RACIAL ABILITIES: HALF-ELF](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advancedRaceGuide/coreRaces/halfElves.html#_half-elf-racial-traits) ([ALTERNATE RACIAL TRAITS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advancedRaceGuide/coreRaces/halfElves.html#_alternate-racial-traits))  
ATTRIBUTE SHIFT - +2 Intelligence.  
DROW-BLOODED – Replaces Low-Light Vision.  
ELVEN IMMUNITIES.  
MIXED BLOOD – The character counts as both Drow and Tiefling for any effect related to race. Replaces Elf Blood.  
WARY – Replaces Keen Senses.  
DUAL MINDED – Replaces Adaptability.  
ARCANE TRAINING – Replaces Multitalented.  
LANGUAGES – Halfbreeds begin play speaking Common and High Elven. Halfbreeds with high Intelligence scores can choose any language as a bonus language (except secret languages, such as Druidic).

SPECIAL ABILITIES  
GODMARKED  
WEAPON PROFICIENCY (SHURIKEN)  
[ARCANE BEACON](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/cleric.html#_arcane-beacon) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (3 USES/DAY) – The character can emanate an aura that makes spells cast near him more powerful and harder to resist.  
[BANE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/bane.html#_bane) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) - Bane fills enemies with fear and doubt, and counters and dispels Bless.

CLASS FEATURES  
WEAPON AND ARMOUR PROFICIENCY: SORCERER  
Sorcerers are proficient with all simple weapons. They are not proficient with any type of armour or shield. Armour interferes with a sorcerer's gestures, which can cause his spells with somatic components to fail.

FEAT: [ESCHEW MATERIALS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_eschew-materials)  
The character can cast many spells without needing to utilize minor material components.

BLOODLINE: [CROSSBLOODED](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spellcastingClassOptions/sorcerer.html#_crossblooded-%28archetype%29) [SAGE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spellcastingClassOptions/sorcerer.html#_sage)/[KARMIC](paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spellcastingClassOptions/sorcerer.html#_karmic)  
CLASS SKILL: Knowledge (Any One: Dungeoneering) and Knowledge History.  
BLOODLINE ARCANA: Unlike most sorcerers, the character understands and masters his magic through intellect rather than force of personality, and has a better understanding of arcane forces as a result. Additionally, if he fails to cast when under threat, the creature that disrupted his concentration is left vulnerable to attack.  
DRAWBACK: A crossblooded sorcerer has one fewer spell known at each level, and is weaker willed.  
BLOODLINE POWERS:  
1\. ARCANE BOLT [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (7 USES/DAY): The sorcerer can unleash a ray of magical force as an attack, increasing in power dependant on the sorcerer's class level.  
2.[ METAMAGIC ADEPT [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/sorcerer.html#_arcane) (1 USE/DAY): At 3rd level, the Sage Sorcerer can apply metamagic feats to his spells without any reduction in casting speed.

SPELLS: BLOODLINE SPELLS (CAN BE USED INSTEAD OF EQUIVALENT LEVEL WORDSPELL)  
LEVEL 1 – [IDENTIFY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/identify.html#_identify)(Gives a bonus to identifying the properties and command words of magic items in the caster's possession.)  


SPELLS: [WORDS OF POWER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/ultimateMagicWordsOfPower.html#_words-of-power)  
LEVEL 0 [At Will] Save DC 14  
One Effect Word Only (Level 0)

LEVEL 1 [7/Day] Save DC 15  
One Effect Word Only (Level 1 or lower)

LEVEL 2 [4/Day] Save DC 16  
One Effect Word (Level 2 or lower)  
Two Effect Words (Level 0 and Level 0)

[EFFECT WORDS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/wordsOfPower/effectWords.html)   
[FLAME JET (Fire 0)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/wordsOfPower/effectWords/fireWords.html#_flame-jet-%28fire%29), [SPARK (Electricity 0)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/wordsOfPower/effectWords/electricityWords.html#_spark-%28electricity%29), [LIFT (Gravity 0)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/wordsOfPower/effectWords/gravityWords.html#_lift-%28gravity%29), [FORCE BLOCK (Armor 0)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/wordsOfPower/effectWords/armorWords.html#_force-block-%28armor%29)  
[BURNING FLASH (Fire 1)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/wordsOfPower/effectWords/fireWords.html#_burning-flash-%28fire%29), [GLIDE (Flight 1)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/spells/glide.html#_glide-), [SHOCK ARC (Electricity 1)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/wordsOfPower/effectWords/electricityWords.html#_shock-arc-%28electricity%29)

[TARGET WORDS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/wordsOfPower/targetWords.html)   
CONE (Target 0), PERSONAL (Target 0), SELECTED (Target 0)  
BURST (Target 1), LINE (Target 1)  
BARRIER (Target 3)

[META WORDS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/wordsOfPower/metaWords.html)   
(NOTE: META WORDS CAN ONLY BE USED ½ WORDCASTER LEVEL TIMES PER DAY)  
BOOST (Meta 0), DISTANT (Meta 0)

* * *

ARADIA MEGIDO [SORCERER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/sorcerer.html#_sorcerer) \- [DREAMSPUN](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/sorcerer.html#_dreamspun) 4  
TRUE NEUTRAL

TL:DR – Increased charisma and more powerful spellcasting- specifically, the ability to levitate objects!

[ ](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/7ub9bd7pt8m7sv0/Aradia%20Megido.png?dl=0)

BASIC STATISTICS  
GENDER: Female  
HAIR/EYES: Black hair, red eyes  
HOMELAND: The Greenweald Forest Region (No Fixed Abode)  
DEITY: The Maid of Time  
LANGUAGES: Common, Infernal, Orc, High Elven  
RACE: Tiefling

ATTRIBUTES  
STRENGTH: 8[-1]  
DEXTERITY: 12[+1]  
CONSTITUTION: 12[+1]  
INTELLIGENCE: 15[+2]  
WISDOM: 14[+2]  
CHARISMA: 14[+2] (16[+3])

HIT POINTS: 20/20  
HERO POINTS: 3/3  
INITIATIVE: +6  
BASE SPEED/S: 30ft (land)

ARMOUR CLASS [AC]: 11  
TOUCH AC: 11  
FLAT-FOOTED AC: 10

BASE ATTACK BONUS [BAB]: +2  
BASIC MELEE ATTACK: +1  
BASIC RANGED ATTACK: +3  
COMBAT MANEUVER BONUS [CMB]: +1  
COMBAT MANEUVER DEFENCE [CMD]: 12

SAVES  
FORTITUDE: +2  
REFLEX: +2  
WILL: +6

[WEAPONS/ATTACKS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_weapon-descriptions)  
[WHIP](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_whip) \- This is a [nonlethal](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/equipment.html#_nonlethal), [reach](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/equipment.html#_reach-weapons), [disarm](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/equipment.html#_disarm), [trip](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/equipment.html#_trip) weapon. A whip deals no damage to any creature with an armour bonus of +1 or higher, or a natural armour bonus of +3 or higher. Using a whip provokes an attack of opportunity, just as if the character had used a ranged weapon.

EQUIPMENT - [CARRYING CAPACITY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/additionalRules.html#_carrying-capacity) (STR 8)

EQUIPMENT - ITEM SLOTS  
CLOTHING: EXPLORER'S OUTFIT  
This set of clothes is for someone who never knows what to expect. It includes sturdy boots, leather skirt, a belt, a shirt with a vest, gloves and a cloak. The clothes have plenty of pockets (especially the cloak). The outfit also includes any extra accessories the character might need, such as a scarf or a wide-brimmed hat.

EQUIPMENT - POSSESSIONS  
Whip 2lbs, Waterskin 4lbs

>POUCH, BELT 0.5lbs (Capacity 10lbs)  
Rope (Silk) [50ft] 5lbs, String/Twine [50ft] 0.5lbs, Sewing Needle, Compass 0.5lbs, Kit (Map Making) [Anyone using this kit to draw a map as they travel receives a +2 circumstance bonus on Survival skill checks to avoid becoming lost] 2lbs, Wayfinder 1lb

>POUCH, BELT 0.5lbs (Capacity 10lbs)  
Kit (Cooking) 2lbs  
Rations (Wandermeal) [x10] [Eating this tough, dried cake for over a week without other nutrients causes the eater to feel ill] 5lbs

TOTAL 23lbs

EQUIPMENT - MONEY  
3CP, 3SP, 539GP, 0PP  
OTHER:

SKILLS  
TRAINED  
+ACROBATICS +5(1)*, CLIMB +2(3)*, KNOWLEDGE DUNGEONEERING +5(3), KNOWLEDGE HISTORY +6(4), SURVIVAL +6(4), SWIM +1(2)* +USE MAGIC DEVICE +8(3)

UNTRAINED  
APPRAISE +2, +BLUFF +2, +CRAFT +2, DIPLOMACY +2, DISGUISE +2, ESCAPE ARTIST +1*, HEAL +2, +INTIMIDATE +2, PERCEPTION +2, PERFORM +1, RIDE +1*, +SENSE MOTIVE +2, STEALTH +1*  
(+FLY +1*)

*Armour Check Penalty: Skill at –0 due to armour worn.  
+Class Skill

FEATS  
[COMBAT CASTING](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_combat-casting)  
The character is adept at spellcasting when threatened or distracted.

[IMPROVED INITIATIVE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_improved-initiative)   
The character's quick reflexes allow her to react rapidly to danger.

[RACIAL ABILITIES: TIEFLING](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advancedRaceGuide/featuredRaces/tieflings.html#_tiefling-racial-traits)  
TIEFLINGS DO NOT COUNT AS OUTSIDERS FOR THE PURPOSE OF THIS SETTING.  
SORCEROUS GIFT - Tiefling sorcerers treat their Charisma score as 2 points higher for all sorcerer class abilities.  
[DARKNESS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/darkness.html#_darkness) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Tieflings can touch an object and cause it to radiate a deep darkness that dims even magical light.  
LANGUAGES - Tieflings begin play speaking Common and either Abyssal or Infernal. Tieflings with high Intelligence scores can choose any of the following bonus languages: Abyssal, Draconic, Dwarven, High Elven, Gnome, Goblin, Halfling, Infernal, and Orc.

SPECIAL ABILITIES  
GODMARKED  
WEAPON PROFICIENCY (WHIP)  
[BINDING TIES](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/cleric.html#_binding-ties) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (5 USES/DAY) – The character can temporarily take the suffering as an ally onto herself, rendering them temporarily immune to the condition for a short time dependent on her character level.  
[DEATHWATCH](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/deathwatch.html#_deathwatch) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY](1 USE/DAY) - The character can determine the condition of creatures near death within the spell's range.

CLASS FEATURES  
WEAPON AND ARMOUR PROFICIENCY: SORCERER  
Sorcerers are proficient with all simple weapons. They are not proficient with any type of armour or shield. Armour interferes with a sorcerer's gestures, which can cause her spells with somatic components to fail.

FEAT: [ESCHEW MATERIALS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_eschew-materials)  
The character can cast many spells without needing to utilize minor material components.

BLOODLINE: [DREAMSPUN](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/sorcerer.html#_dreamspun)  
CLASS SKILL: Sense Motive.  
BLOODLINE ARCANA: Whenever the character targets a single creature with a spell, she is briefly better protected against attacks made by that foe.  
BLOODLINE POWERS:  
1\. [ LULLABY [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/lullaby.html#_lullaby) (6 USES/DAY): The character can make another creature drowsy, rendering them less perceptive and more susceptible to sleep magic.  
2.[ COMBAT PRECOGNITION [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/sorcerer.html#_combat-precognition)  
At 3rd level, the sorcerer’s insight into the future makes her faster to react to threats.

SPELLS  
LEVEL 0 [At Will] Save DC 13  
[DETECT MAGIC](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/detectMagic.html#_detect-magic), [MAGE HAND](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/mageHand.html#_mage-hand), [MESSAGE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/message.html#_message), [OPEN/CLOSE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/openClose.html#_open-close), [PRESTIDIGITATION](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/prestidigitation.html#_prestidigitation), [RAY OF FROST](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/rayOfFrost.html#_ray-of-frost)

LEVEL 1 [7/Day] Save DC 14  
[HYPNOTISM](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/hypnotism.html#_hypnotism), [MAGIC MISSILE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/magicMissile.html#_magic-missile), [UNSEEN SERVANT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/unseenServant.html#_unseen-servant), [SLEEP](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/sleep.html#_sleep)

LEVEL 2 [4/Day] Save DC 15  
[LEVITATE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/levitate.html#_levitate)

* * *

KANAYA MARYAM [CLERIC](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/cleric.html#_cleric) 4  
TRUE NEUTRAL

TL:DR – Kanaya's Constitution increased slightly, and her spellcasting improved slightly.

[](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/08069btcqrm4oee/Kanaya%20Maryam.png?dl=0)

BASIC STATISTICS  
GENDER: Female  
HAIR/EYES: White hair, green eyes  
HOMELAND: City of Golgesi (Temple Spire)/The Greenweald Forest Region (No Fixed Abode)  
DEITY: The Sylph of Space  
LANGUAGES: Undercommon, High Elven  
RACE: Drow (Dark Elf)

ATTRIBUTES  
STRENGTH: 13[+1]  
DEXTERITY: 10[+0]  
CONSTITUTION: 13[+1]  
INTELLIGENCE: 10[+0]  
WISDOM: 15[+2]  
CHARISMA: 14[+2]

HIT POINTS: 26/26  
HERO POINTS: 4/5  
INITIATIVE: +0  
BASE SPEED/S: 30ft (land)

ARMOUR CLASS [AC]: 14  
TOUCH AC: 10  
FLAT-FOOTED AC: 14

BASE ATTACK BONUS [BAB]: +3  
BASIC MELEE ATTACK: +4  
BASIC RANGED ATTACK: +3  
COMBAT MANEUVER BONUS [CMB]: +4  
COMBAT MANEUVER DEFENCE [CMD]: 14

SAVES  
FORTITUDE: +6  
REFLEX: +2  
WILL: +7

[WEAPONS/ATTACKS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_weapon-descriptions)  
[MASTERWORK SAWTOOTH SABRE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_sawtooth-sabre) \- This weapon counts as “light" for the purposes of two-weapon fighting.  
[SHIELD BASH, LIGHT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/equipment.html#_shield-bash-attacks) \- Treat as “light" for the purposes of two-weapon fighting, and lose shield bonus to AC when used as a weapon.  
[DAGGER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_dagger) \- Can be thrown, range 10ft.

EQUIPMENT - [CARRYING CAPACITY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/additionalRules.html#_carrying-capacity) (STR 13)

EQUIPMENT - ITEM SLOTS  
CLOTHING: EXPLORER'S OUTFIT  
This set of clothes is for someone who never knows what to expect. It includes sturdy boots, a leather overtunic over a cloth skirt, a belt, a shirt, gloves and a cloak. The clothes have plenty of pockets (especially the cloak). The outfit also includes any extra accessories the character might need, such as a scarf or a wide-brimmed hat.

ARMOUR: STUDDED LEATHER ARMOUR  
+3 armour bonus, +5 max DEX bonus, -1 Armour Check Penalty, 15% Arcane Spell Failure Chance, LIGHT

SHIELD: LIGHT WOODEN SHIELD  
+1 shield bonus, -1 Armour Check Penalty, 5% Arcane Spell Failure Chance  
SPECIAL: The character can bash an opponent with a light shield. Used this way, a light shield is a martial bludgeoning weapon. For the purpose of penalties on attack rolls, treat a shield as a light weapon. If she uses her shield as a weapon, she loses its AC bonus until her next turn.

SHOULDERS: [CLOAK OF RESISTANCE +1](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/magicItems/wondrousItems.html#_cloak-of-resistance)  
This garment offers magical protection in the form of a +1 resistance bonus on all saving throws.

EQUIPMENT - POSSESSIONS  
Masterwork Sawtooth Sabre 2lbs, Studded Leather Armour 20lbs, Shield (Light Wooden) 5lbs, Cloak of Resistance +1 1lb, Eyeglasses, Holy Symbol (Wooden), Dagger 1lb, Waterskin 4lbs

>BACKPACK, COMMON 2lbs (Capacity 60lbs)  
Tent (Small, 1 person) 20lbs, Bedroll 5lbs, Blanket (Common) 1lb, Kit (Healer's) [This collection of bandages and herbs provides a +2 circumstance bonus on Heal checks. A healer's kit is exhausted after 10 uses] 1lb

>POUCH, BELT 0.5lbs (Capacity 10lbs)  
Flint and Steel, Whetstone 1lb, String/Twine [50ft] 0.5lbs, Sewing Needle  
Rations (Wandermeal) [x4] [Eating this tough, dried cake for over a week without other nutrients causes the eater to feel ill] 2lbs

TOTAL 65lbs (36lbs without backpack)

EQUIPMENT - MONEY  
9CP, 2SP, 13GP, 0PP  
OTHER:

SKILLS  
TRAINED  
+CRAFT(APPAREL) +6(3), +DIPLOMACY +9(4), +HEAL +6(1), +KNOWLEDGE RELIGION +6(3)

UNTRAINED  
ACROBATICS +0*, +APPRAISE +0, BLUFF +2, CLIMB +1*, +CRAFT +0, DISGUISE +2, ESCAPE ARTIST +0*, INTIMIDATE +2, PERCEPTION +2, PERFORM +2, RIDE +0*, +SENSE MOTIVE +2, STEALTH +0*, SURVIVAL +2, SWIM +1*  
(FLY +0*)

*Armour Check Penalty: Skill at –2 due to armour worn.  
+Class Skill

FEATS  
[ SELECTIVE CHANNELING [REQUIRES: CHA 13, CHANNEL ENERGY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_selective-channeling) (CAN EXCLUDE: 2)  
The character can choose whom to affect when she channels energy.

[COMBAT CASTING](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_combat-casting)   
The character is adept at spellcasting when threatened or distracted.

[RACIAL ABILITIES: DROW](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advancedRaceGuide/featuredRaces/drow.html#_drow-racial-traits)  
[DANCING LIGHTS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/dancingLights.html#_dancing-lights) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Drow can create up to four illusory lights and direct their motion.  
[DARKNESS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/darkness.html#_darkness) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Drow can touch an object and cause it to radiate a deep darkness that dims even magical light.  
[FAERIE FIRE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/faerieFire.html#_faerie-fire) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Drow can cause a person to glow with a pale fire that clings to them even if they are not otherwise visible.  
LANGUAGES - Drow begin play speaking Undercommon and High Elven. Drow with high Intelligence can choose bonus languages from the following: Common, Dark Folk, Draconic, Drow Sign Language, Dwarven, Gnome, Goblin or Infernal.

SPECIAL ABILITIES  
GODMARKED  
[HERO’S FORTUNE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/advancedNewRules.html#_hero's-fortune) \- Even at the start of her career, it was clear that the character had a chance at greatness, and her legend continues to grow with every adventure.  
[RENEWED STRENGTH](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/classes/core-classes/cleric/domains/3rd-party-publishers---domains/4-winds-fantasy-gaming---domains/renewal-domain) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (5 USES/DAY) – The character can cure her allies of exhaustion, fatigue, sickness and nausea with a touch.  
[LONGSTRIDER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/longstrider.html#_longstrider) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY](1 USE/DAY) - This power gives the character a +10 foot enhancement bonus to her base speed.

CLASS FEATURES  
WEAPON AND ARMOUR PROFICIENCY: CLERIC  
Clerics are proficient with all simple weapons, light armour, medium armour, and shields (except tower shields). Clerics are also proficient with the favoured weapon of their deities (THE SYLPH OF SPACE favours the SAWTOOTH SABRE).

[CHANNEL ENERGY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/cleric.html#_channel-energy-cleric) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (5 USES/DAY, DC13, 2D6)  
The cleric can channel positive energy through her holy symbol, choosing to either deal damage to undead creatures or to heal living creatures in a burst of holy power.

SPONTANEOUS CASTING  
The cleric can channel stored spell energy into healing spells that she hasn't prepared ahead of time. She can "lose" any prepared spell that is not an orison or domain spell in order to cast any cure spell of the same spell level or lower.

DOMAINS: [CHARM](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/cleric.html#_charm-domain) ([LOVE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/cleric.html#_love-subdomain)) AND [DEATH](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/cleric.html#_death-domain) ([UNDEAD](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/cleric.html#_undead-subdomain))  
DOMAIN POWERS: ADORATION [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (5 USES/DAY) – The cleric can attempt to thwart a single physical attack against her person.  
DOMAIN POWERS: [DEATH'S KISS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/cleric.html#_death%27s-kiss) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (5 USES/DAY) – The cleric can cause a creature to take on some of the traits of the undead with a touch.

SPELLS  
[CLERIC LEVEL 0](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/spell-lists-and-domains/spell-lists---cleric#p0) [4 Prepared, At Will] Save DC 12  
+MENDING – Makes minor repairs on an object.  
+PURIFY FOOD AND DRINK – Purifies 1 cubic ft/level of food or water.  
+SPARK – Ignites flammable objects.  
+STABILIZE – Cause a dying creature to stabilize.

[CLERIC LEVEL 1](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/spell-lists-and-domains/spell-lists---cleric#p1) [4/Day+1 Prepared] Save DC 13  
DOMAIN SPELLS:  
+CHARM PERSON – Makes one person your friend.  
+CAUSE FEAR – One creature of 5HD or less flees for 1d4 rounds.  
  
+ABUNDANT AMMUNITION – Replaces nonmagical ammunition every round.  
++BLESS – Allies gain +1 on attack rolls and saves against fear.

[CLERIC LEVEL 2](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/spell-lists-and-domains/spell-lists---cleric#p2) [3/Day+1 Prepared] Save DC 14  
DOMAIN SPELLS:  
ENTHRALL - Captivates all within 100 ft. + 10 ft./level.  
+[GHOUL TOUCH](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/ghoulTouch.html#_ghoul-touch) \- Paralyzes one subject, which exudes stench that makes those nearby sickened.  
  
+[BLOOD OF THE MARTYR](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/all-spells/b/blood-of-the-martyr) \- Target bleeds from orifices, enabling other creatures to sup the blood to regain hit points. 1D6/4 levels (max 4d6) damage/healing.  
++CURE MODERATE WOUNDS - Cures 2d8 damage + 1/level (max +10).

* * *

JANE CROCKER [RANGER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/ranger.html#_ranger) ([URBAN RANGER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/ranger.html#_urban-ranger)) 4  
LAWFUL GOOD

TL:DR – Stronger, and now has the ability to pass favoured enemy bonuses to her allies. Has gained limited spellcasting abilities.

[](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/4kodis325z81mra/Jane%20Crocker.png?dl=0)

BASIC STATISTICS  
GENDER: Female  
HAIR/EYES: Black hair, blue eyes  
HOMELAND: City of Porthaven (Outer Ring)  
DEITY: The Maid of Life  
LANGUAGES: Common, High Elven, Celestial, Orc  
RACE: Tuatha (High Elf)

ATTRIBUTES  
STRENGTH: 16[+3]  
DEXTERITY: 15[+2]  
CONSTITUTION: 12[+1]  
INTELLIGENCE: 10[+0]  
WISDOM: 12[+1]  
CHARISMA: 10[+0]

HIT POINTS: 33/33  
HERO POINTS: 3/5  
INITIATIVE: +2  
BASE SPEED/S: 30ft (land)

ARMOUR CLASS [AC]: 17  
TOUCH AC: 12  
FLAT-FOOTED AC: 15

BASE ATTACK BONUS [BAB]: +4  
BASIC MELEE ATTACK: +7  
BASIC RANGED ATTACK: +6  
COMBAT MANEUVER BONUS [CMB]: +7  
COMBAT MANEUVER DEFENCE [CMD]: 19

SAVES  
FORTITUDE: +5  
REFLEX: +6  
WILL: +2

[WEAPONS/ATTACKS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_weapon-descriptions)  
[TRIDENT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_trident) \- This is a [brace](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/equipment.html#_brace) weapon. Can be thrown, range 10ft.  
[SHIELD BASH, LIGHT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/equipment.html#_shield-bash-attacks) \- Treat as “light" for the purposes of two-weapon fighting, and lose shield bonus to AC when used as a weapon.  
[DAGGER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_dagger) \- Can be thrown, range 10ft.

EQUIPMENT - [CARRYING CAPACITY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/additionalRules.html#_carrying-capacity) (STR 17)

EQUIPMENT - ITEM SLOTS  
CLOTHING: ARTISAN'S OUTFIT  
This outfit consists of a blouse with buttons, drawstring skirt, shoes, and a neat cloth cap. It also includes a cloth apron for carrying small items such as a money pouch.

ARMOUR: MASTERWORK STUDDED LEATHER  
+3 armour bonus, +5 max DEX bonus, 0 Armour Check Penalty, 15% Arcane Spell Failure Chance, LIGHT  
SPECIAL: Masterwork armour has an Armour Check Penalty one lower than normal and can be enchanted.

SHIELD: LIGHT STEEL SHIELD  
+2 shield bonus, -1 Armour Check Penalty, 5% Arcane Spell Failure Chance  
SPECIAL: The character can bash an opponent with a light shield. Used this way, a light shield is a martial bludgeoning weapon. For the purpose of penalties on attack rolls, treat a shield as a light weapon. If she uses her shield as a weapon, she loses its AC bonus until her next turn.

EQUIPMENT - POSSESSIONS  
Trident 4lbs, Masterwork Studded Leather 20lbs, Shield (Light Steel) 6lbs, Dagger 1lb, Waterskin 4lbs

>BACKPACK, MASTERWORK 4lbs (Capacity 60lbs, +1 STR to carry loads)  
Bedroll 5lbs, Kit (Cooking) 2lbs, Rations (Trail) [x6] 6lb, Parade Armour 20lbs, Elixir of Truth [x1], Elixir of Vision [x1]

>POUCH, BELT 0.5lbs (Capacity 10lbs)  
Flint and Steel, Manacles 2lbs, Map [+1 circumstance bonus on Survival checks made to navigate in the Greenweald Forest region] 2lbs

TOTAL 76.5lbs (39.5lbs without backpack)

EQUIPMENT - MONEY  
0CP, 2SP, 73GP, 0PP  
OTHER:

SKILLS  
TRAINED  
ACROBATICS +7(4)*, +CRAFT(COOKING) +7(4), DISGUISE +1(1), +KNOWLEDGE LOCAL +5(2), +PERCEPTION +8(4), SENSE MOTIVE +7(3), +STEALTH +8(3)*, +SURVIVAL +8(4)

UNTRAINED  
+APPRAISE +0, BLUFF +0, +CLIMB +3*, CRAFT +0, +DIPLOMACY +0, ESCAPE ARTIST +2*, +HEAL +1, +INTIMIDATE +0, PERFORM +0, +RIDE +2*, +SWIM +3*  
(FLY +2*)

*Armour Check Penalty: Skill at –0 due to armour worn.  
+Class Skill

FEATS  
[ COSMOPOLITAN](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/advancedFeats.html#_cosmopolitan) (APPRAISE AND DIPLOMACY)  
Living in large, exotic cities has put the character in touch with many diverse civilizations, cultures, and races.

[TWO-WEAPON FIGHTING [REQUIRES: DEX 15]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_two-weapon-fighting)  
The character can fight with a weapon wielded in each of her hands. She can make one extra attack each round with the secondary weapon.

[RACIAL ABILITIES: ELVEN](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advancedRaceGuide/coreRaces/elves.html#_elf-racial-traits)  
LANGUAGES - Tuatha begin play speaking Common and High Elven. Tuatha with high Intelligence scores can choose from the following: Celestial, Draconic, Gnoll, Gnome, Goblin, Orc, and Sylvan.

SPECIAL ABILITIES  
GODMARKED  
[HERO’S FORTUNE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/advancedNewRules.html#_hero's-fortune) \- Even at the start of her career, it was clear that the character had a chance at greatness, and her legend continues to grow with every adventure.  
[BINDING TIES](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/cleric.html#_binding-ties) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (3 USES/DAY) – The character can temporarily take the suffering as an ally onto herself, rendering them temporarily immune to the condition for a short time dependent on her character level.  
[CURE LIGHT WOUNDS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/cureLightWounds.html#_cure-light-wounds) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY](1 USE/DAY) - When laying her hand upon a living creature, the character channels positive energy that cures 1d8 points of damage + 1 point per caster level (maximum +5).

CLASS FEATURES  
WEAPON AND ARMOUR PROFICIENCY: RANGER  
A ranger is proficient with all simple and martial weapons and with light armour, medium armour and shields (except tower shields).

[FAVOURED ENEMY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/ranger.html#_favored-enemy) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY] - HUMANOID (ELF)  
A ranger is better at attacking and damaging their favoured enemies. They spot them, track them, lie to them and understand them better, and know more about them than other similar creatures.

TRACK [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
A ranger is better at following or identifying tracks.

WILD EMPATHY [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
A ranger can communicate wordlessly with an animal, in the hope of making it more friendly towards the ranger and her allies.

COMBAT STYLE FEAT: [SHIELD FOCUS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_shield-focus) [REQUIRES: SHIELD PROFICIENCY, BAB +1]  
Increase the defensive bonus granted by any shield you are using.

[FAVOURED COMMUNITY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/ranger.html#_favored-community) (ADVENTURER'S QUARTER)  
At 3rd level, the urban ranger forms a bond with a community. While inside the limits of this community, she gains numerous bonuses to knowledge, tracking and survival, as well as being untrackable herself.

[FEAT: ENDURANCE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_endurance)   
The character is more readily able to handle prolonged physical activity and deprivation, and may sleep in light or medium armour without becoming fatigued.

[HUNTER’S BOND – COMPANION BOND [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/ranger.html#_hunter-s-bond)   
At 4th level, a ranger forms a bond with her hunting companions, allowing her to extend a limited version of her favoured enemy bonuses to them.

SPELLS  
[RANGER LEVEL 1](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/spell-lists-and-domains/spell-lists---ranger#p1) [1/Day Prepared] Save DC 12  
HUNTER’S HOWL – Treat enemies as favoured for 1 round/level.

* * *

JAKE ENGLISH [GUNSLINGER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/classes/gunslinger.html) ([PISTOLERO](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/classArchetypes/gunslinger.html#_pistolero-\(archetype\))) 4  
CHAOTIC GOOD

TL:DR – Slight raised Dexterity, and the ability to draw a weapon noticeably faster than usual.

[](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/rg51x3q5hwd48ji/Jake%20English.png?dl=0)

BASIC STATISTICS  
GENDER: Male  
HAIR/EYES: Black hair, green eyes  
HOMELAND: Quartzkin Clanhold  
DEITY: The Page of Hope  
LANGUAGES: Common, High Elven, Dwarven  
RACE: Tuatha (High Elf)

ATTRIBUTES  
STRENGTH: 13[+1]  
DEXTERITY: 17[+3]  
CONSTITUTION: 10[+0]  
INTELLIGENCE: 10[+0]  
WISDOM: 15[+2]  
CHARISMA: 10[+0]

HIT POINTS: 28/28  
HERO POINTS: 2/5  
INITIATIVE: +3(+5 if holding Grit)  
BASE SPEED/S: 30ft (land)

ARMOUR CLASS [AC]: 18  
TOUCH AC: 14  
FLAT-FOOTED AC: 14

BASE ATTACK BONUS [BAB]: +4  
BASIC MELEE ATTACK: +5  
BASIC RANGED ATTACK: +7  
COMBAT MANEUVER BONUS [CMB]: +5  
COMBAT MANEUVER DEFENCE [CMD]: 18

SAVES  
FORTITUDE: +4  
REFLEX: +7  
WILL: +3

[WEAPONS/ATTACKS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_firearms-table)  
[HEAVY PICK](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_heavy-pick)  
[MASTERWORK GUNSLINGER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/classes/gunslinger.html#_gunsmith) [PISTOL](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/combat/firearms.html#_pistol) \- Ammunition 26 bullets, 26 black powder charges (both required to fire).  
[MASTERWORK PISTOL](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/combat/firearms.html#_pistol) \- As above, shared ammunition.

EQUIPMENT - [CARRYING CAPACITY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/additionalRules.html#_carrying-capacity) (STR 14)

EQUIPMENT - ITEM SLOTS  
CLOTHING: TRAVELLER'S OUTFIT  
This set of clothes consists of boots, wool breeches, a sturdy belt, a shirt (perhaps with a vest or jacket), and an ample coat with a hood.

CLOTHING: ADVENTURER'S SASH  
This bandoleer holds six pouches along its length and a satchel at the hip. Each pouch has a stiff leather flap that can be secured against jostling with a clasp (requiring a move action to open or close) or left unfastened for easier access. The pouches and satchel each contain a number of loops and ties for further securing equipment. The sash buckles at the shoulder, and can be freed with a sharp tug in an emergency as a move action.

ARMOUR: MASTERWORK MITHRAL CHAIN SHIRT  
+4 armour bonus, +6 max DEX bonus, -0 Armour Check Penalty, 10% Arcane Spell Failure Chance, LIGHT  
SPECIAL: An item made from mithral weighs half as much as the same item made from other metals. Masterwork armour has an Armour Check Penalty one lower than normal and can be enchanted.

CHEST - ALL TOOLS VEST  
This well-made leather vest bears numerous shiny metal buttons, which stud a number of bulging pockets. Once per day, as a standard action, the wearer can speak the vest’s command word and order it to bring forth all the standard tools required to make checks for any one Craft skill. These tools appear in the countless pockets of the vest or, if too heavy, on the floor, on a nearby shelf, on a workbench, or in a toolbox or cupboard that appears nearby. Once summoned, they remain for 24 hours or until another creature touches them, whichever comes first.

EQUIPMENT - POSSESSIONS  
Adventurer's Sash 3lbs, Heavy Pick 6lbs, Masterwork Gunslinger Pistol 4lbs, Masterwork Pistol 4lbs, Masterwork Mithral Chain Shirt 12.5lbs, All Tools Vest 5lbs, Dagger 1lb, Waterskin 4lbs

>[HANDY HAVERSACK](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/magicItems/wondrousItems.html#_handy-haversack) 5lbs (Extradimensional Space, Capacity 80lbs+20lbs+20lbs)  
Bedroll 5lbs, Blanket (Common) [x2] 2lb, Kit (Grooming) 2lbs, Kit (Cooking) 2lbs, Kit (Mess) 1lb, Kit (Dungeoneering Deluxe) 15lbs, Kit (Gunsmith’s) 2lbs, Kit (Gear Maintenance) 2lbs, Potion of Cure Light Wounds [x4], Moonrod [x17]  
Tent (Small, 1 person) 20lbs  
Rations (Trail) [x20] 20lb

>LEATHER SATCHEL 1lbs (Capacity 35lbs)  
Healer's Kit [10 uses, +2] 1lb, Wound Paste [x3] 0.5lbs

>POUCH, BELT 0.5lbs (Capacity 10lbs)  
Flint and Steel, Compass 0.5lbs

>POWDER HORN 1lb (Capacity 10 x Black Powder)  
Black Powder [x6] [crafted at 10% cost]

>POWDER HORN 1lb (Capacity 10 x Black Powder)  
Black Powder [x10] [crafted at 10% cost]

>POWDER HORN 1lb (Capacity 10 x Black Powder)  
Black Powder [x10] [crafted at 10% cost]

TOTAL 51lbs (31lbs+20lbs+20lbs in EDS)

EQUIPMENT - MONEY  
0CP, 0SP, 500GP, 0PP  
OTHER:

SKILLS  
TRAINED  
+ACROBATICS +9(3)*, +CLIMB +5(1)*, +CRAFT(ALCHEMY) +7(4),*DISABLE DEVICE +1(1), KNOWLEDGE DUNGEONEERING +4(4), LINGUISTICS +1(1), +SURVIVAL +6(1), USE MAGIC DEVICE +3(3)

UNTRAINED  
APPRAISE +0, +BLUFF +0, CRAFT +0, DIPLOMACY +0, DISGUISE +0, ESCAPE ARTIST +3*, +HEAL +2, +INTIMIDATE +0, +PERCEPTION +2, PERFORM +0, +RIDE +3*, SENSE MOTIVE +2, STEALTH +3*, +SWIM +1*  
(FLY +3*)

*Armour Check Penalty: Skill at –0 due to armour worn.  
+Class Skill

FEATS  
[ RAPID RELOAD (PISTOL) [REQUIRES: WEAPON PROFICIENCY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/ultimateCombatFeats.html#_rapid-reload)  
The character can reload pistols quickly.

[BLIND-FIGHT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_blind-fight)   
The character is skilled at attacking opponents that he cannot clearly perceive.

[RACIAL ABILITIES: ELVEN](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advancedRaceGuide/coreRaces/elves.html#_elf-racial-traits)  
LANGUAGES - Tuatha begin play speaking Common and High Elven. Tuatha with high Intelligence scores can choose from the following: Celestial, Draconic, Gnoll, Gnome, Goblin, Orc, and Sylvan.

SPECIAL ABILITIES  
GODMARKED  
[HERO’S FORTUNE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/advancedNewRules.html#_hero's-fortune) \- Even at the start of his career, it was clear that the character had a chance at greatness, and his legend continues to grow with every adventure.  
[HONOR BOUND](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/cleric.html#_honor-bound) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (3 USES/DAY) – The character can, with a touch, remind a creature of its duties and responsibilities and help them shake off an enchantment or compulsion. He can also attempt to shake off effects of this nature that have affected him.  
[REMOVE FEAR](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/removeFear.html#_remove-fear) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY](1 USE/DAY) – The character instils courage in the subject, granting them a bonus against fear effects for 10 minutes.

CLASS FEATURES  
WEAPON AND ARMOUR PROFICIENCY: GUNSLINGER (PISTOLERO)  
Pistoleros are proficient with all simple and martial weapons, and with one-handed firearms. They are proficient with all light armour.

[GUNSMITH](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/classes/gunslinger.html#_gunsmith) (PISTOLERO)  
A gunslinger has a battered pistol, which only he knows how to properly use. To anyone else, the gun seems to be broken.

[FEAT: QUICK DRAW [REQUIRES: BAB +1]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_quick-draw)  
The gunslinger can draw weapons faster than most.

FEAT: [GUNSMITHING](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/ultimateCombatFeats.html#_gunsmithing)  
The character knows the secrets of repairing and restoring firearms.

[GRIT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/classes/gunslinger.html#_grit) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY] (2/2)  
Gunslingers make their mark upon the world with their grit, which they use to accomplish daring deeds (see below).

[DEEDS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/classes/gunslinger.html#_deeds)  
1\. [UP CLOSE AND DEADLY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/classArchetypes/gunslinger.html#_up-close-and-deadly) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
2\. [GUNSLINGER'S DODGE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/classes/gunslinger.html#_gunslinger%27s-dodge) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
3\. [QUICK CLEAR](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/classes/gunslinger.html#_quick-clear) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
[GUNSLINGER INITIATIVE [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/classes/gunslinger.html#_gunslinger-initiative) \- At 3rd level, as long as the gunslinger has at least 1 grit point, he is markedly faster to react to threats.  
[PISTOL-WHIP [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/classes/gunslinger.html#_pistol-whip) \- At 3rd level, the gunslinger can make a surprise melee attack with the butt or handle of his firearm for a cost of 1 grit point.  
[UTILITY SHOT [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/classes/gunslinger.html#_utility-shot) \- At 3rd level, as long as the gunslinger has at least 1 grit point, he can perform utility shots (Blast Lock- breaks locks open, Scoot Unattended Object- moves a tiny object up to 15 feet, and Stop Bleeding- uses the hot barrel of the gun to cauterize wounds).

[NIMBLE [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY] (+1)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/classes/gunslinger.html#_nimble)  
Starting at 2nd level, the gunslinger gains a +1 dodge bonus to AC while wearing light or no armour.

* * *

ROXY LALONDE [WIZARD](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/wizard.html#_wizard) 2 / [ROGUE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/rogue.html#_rogue) 2  
CHAOTIC GOOD

TL:DR – Increase in intelligence, more able to dodge out of danger, and harder to hit when she deals sneak attacks!

[](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/5i92rjtgq134lqh/Roxy%20Lalonde.png?dl=0)

BASIC STATISTICS  
GENDER: Female  
HAIR/EYES: Blonde hair, pink eyes  
HOMELAND: City of Porthaven (Temple District)  
DEITY: The Rogue of Void  
LANGUAGES: Common, Celestial, High Elven, Draconic  
RACE: Aasimar

ATTRIBUTES  
STRENGTH: 10[+0]  
DEXTERITY: 13[+1]  
CONSTITUTION: 14[+2]  
INTELLIGENCE: 16[+3]  
WISDOM: 10[+0]  
CHARISMA: 14[+2]

HIT POINTS: 28/28  
HERO POINTS: 3/3  
INITIATIVE: +5  
BASE SPEED/S: 30ft (land)

ARMOUR CLASS [AC]: 11(15)  
TOUCH AC: 11  
FLAT-FOOTED AC: 10(14)

BASE ATTACK BONUS [BAB]: +2  
BASIC MELEE ATTACK: +2  
BASIC RANGED ATTACK: +3  
COMBAT MANEUVER BONUS [CMB]: +2  
COMBAT MANEUVER DEFENCE [CMD]: 13

SAVES  
FORTITUDE: +2  
REFLEX: +4  
WILL: +3

[WEAPONS/ATTACKS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_weapon-descriptions)  
[UNARMED](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_improved-unarmed-strike) [STRIKE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/combat.html#_unarmed-strike-damage)  
[CROSSBOW, LIGHT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_light-crossbow) – 20 ammunition  
[DAGGER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_dagger) \- Can be thrown, range 10ft.

EQUIPMENT - [CARRYING CAPACITY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/additionalRules.html#_carrying-capacity) (STR 10)

EQUIPMENT - ITEM SLOTS  
CLOTHING: ENTERTAINER'S OUTFIT  
This set of flashy- perhaps even gaudy- clothes is for entertaining. While the outfit looks whimsical, its practical design lets the character tumble, dance, walk a tightrope, or just run if the audience turns ugly.

EQUIPMENT - POSSESSIONS  
Crossbow (Light) 4lbs, Bolts (Crossbow) [x20] 2lb, Signet Ring, Dagger 1lb, Waterskin 4lbs, Hip Flask 2lbs

>POUCH, SPELL COMPONENTS 2lbs

>POUCH, BELT 0.5lbs (Capacity 10lbs)  
Ink (Black) [1oz. Vial], Inkpen, Pearl of Power (1st level)

TOTAL 15.5lbs

EQUIPMENT - MONEY  
0CP, 0SP, 0GP, 0PP  
OTHER:

SKILLS  
TRAINED  
+BLUFF +9(4), +DIPLOMACY +6(1), +DISABLE DEVICE* +8(4), +ESCAPE ARTIST +8(4)*, +KNOWLEDGE ARCANA +10(4), +SPELLCRAFT +10(4), +STEALTH +11(4)*, +USE MAGIC DEVICE +9(4)

UNTRAINED  
+ACROBATICS +1*, +APPRAISE +3, +CLIMB +0*, +CRAFT +3, +DISGUISE +2, HEAL +0, +INTIMIDATE +2, +PERCEPTION +2(4), +PERFORM +2, RIDE +1*, +SENSE MOTIVE +2(4), SURVIVAL +2, +SWIM +0*  
(+FLY +1*)

*Armour Check Penalty: Skill at –0 due to armour worn.  
+Class Skill

FEATS  
[ARCANE STRIKE [REQUIRES: ARCANE SPELLCASTING]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_arcane-strike)  
The character draws upon her arcane power to enhance her weapons with magical energy.

[IMPROVED INITIATIVE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_improved-initiative)   
The character's quick reflexes allow her to react rapidly to danger.

[RACIAL ABILITIES: AASIMAR](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advancedRaceGuide/featuredRaces/aasimars.html#_aasimar-racial-traits)  
AASIMARS DO NOT COUNT AS OUTSIDERS FOR THE PURPOSE OF THIS SETTING.  
[DAYLIGHT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/daylight.html#_daylight) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Aasimars can touch an object and cause it to shed a brilliant light which drives back even magical darkness.  
LANGUAGES – Aasimars begin play speaking Common and Celestial. Aasimars with high Intelligence scores can choose any of the following bonus languages: Draconic, Dwarven, High Elven, Gnome, Halfling, and Sylvan.

SPECIAL ABILITIES  
GODMARKED  
[IMPROVED UNARMED STRIKE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_improved-unarmed-strike) \- The character is skilled at fighting while unarmed.  
[COPYCAT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/cleric.html#_trickery-domain) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (5 USES/DAY) – The character can briefly, dependent on her character level, create an illusory double of herself to distract or mislead others.  
EXTRA – Bluff, Disguise and Stealth are class skills.  
[ENTROPIC SHIELD](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/entropicShield.html#_entropic-shield) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY](1 USE/DAY) - A magical field appears around the character, glowing with a chaotic blast of multicolored hues and deflecting some incoming ranged attacks.

CLASS FEATURES  
WEAPON AND ARMOUR PROFICIENCY: WIZARD  
Wizards are proficient with the club, dagger, heavy crossbow, light crossbow, and quarterstaff, but not with any type of armour or shield. Armour interferes with a wizard's movements, which can cause her spells with somatic components to fail.

[ARCANE BOND](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/wizard.html#_arcane-bond) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]: [FAMILIAR](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/wizard.html#_familiars) (FRIGGLISH, [CAT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/monsters/familiar.html#_cat))  
Grants his master a +3 bonus on Stealth checks.  
If a familiar is dismissed, lost, or dies, it can be replaced 1 week later though a specialised ritual that costs 200gp per wizard level. The ritual takes 8 hours to complete.  
HIT POINTS: 14 HIT DICE: 4  
SIZE: Tiny REACH: 0ft SPEED: 30ft  
STR 3[-4], DEX 15[+2], CON 8[-1], INT 7[-2], WIS 12[+1], CHA 7[-2]  
ATTACK:  
BAB: +2 ATTACK: BITE +4 (1d3-4), CLAWS[x2] +4 (1d2-4)  
CMB: +2  
DEFENCE:  
AC: 16 (Natural Armour +2)  
CMD: 10 (14 vs. trip)  
SAVES: FORT 1, REF 5, WILL 4  
SKILLS:  
Climb 6, Perception 5, Stealth 14 (use master's skill ranks if better)  
FEATS:  
[Weapon Finesse](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_weapon-finesse)  
SPECIAL ABILITIES:  
[Low-Light Vision](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/glossary.html#_low-light-vision), [Scent](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/glossary.html#_scent), [Empathic Link](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/wizard.html#_familiar-empathic-link), [Improved Evasion](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/wizard.html#_familiar-improved-evasion), [Share Spells](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/wizard.html#_familiar-share-spells), [Deliver Touch Spells](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/wizard.html#_familiar-deliver-touch-spells)

ARCANE SCHOOL: [ILLUSION](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/wizard.html#_illusion-school)  
OPPOSITION SCHOOLS: [NECROMANCY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/wizard.html#_necromancy-school), [DIVINATION](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/wizard.html#_divination-school)  
A wizard that chooses to specialise in one school of magic must select two opposition schools whose spells are harder for them to cast, but they gain the ability to cast an additional spell from their school each day and related school powers.  
1\. EXTENDED ILLUSIONS [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY]  
2\. BLINDING RAY [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (5 USES/DAY)

FEAT: [SCRIBE SCROLL](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_scribe-scroll)  
The character can create magic scrolls.

FEAT: [ALERTNESS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_alertness) [REQUIRES: FAMILIAR WITHIN ARM'S REACH]  
The character often notices things that others might miss when her familiar is nearby.

[SNEAK ATTACK [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY] (+1d6 Precision Damage)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/rogue.html#_sneak-attack)  
A rogue can strike a vital spot for more damage whenever their foe is in a vulnerable position.

[TRAPFINDING](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/rogue.html#_trapfinding) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
The rogue adds 1/2 her level to Perception skill checks made to locate traps and to Disable Device skill checks (minimum +1). A rogue can use Disable Device to disarm magic traps.

[UNCANNY DODGE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/rogue.html#_uncanny-dodge-rogue) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
Starting at 4th level, the rogue can react to danger before her senses would normally allow her to do so.

ROGUE TALENTS  
[OFFENSIVE DEFENCE](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/classes/core-classes/rogue/rogue-talents/paizo---rogue-talents/offensive-defense-ex) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
When a rogue with this talent hits a creature with a melee sneak attack that deals sneak attack damage, the rogue gains greater defence against that foe.

SPELLS  
LEVEL 0 [4 Prepared, At Will] Save DC 12  
+(ILLU) GHOST SOUND – Figment sounds.  
+(TRANS) JOLT – Deal 1d3 Electrical damage with a ranged touch attack.  
+(TRANS) MESSAGE – Whisper conversation at distance.  
+(UNIV) PRESTIDIGITATION – Performs minor tricks.

WIZARD CANTRIPS KNOWN: [RESISTANCE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/resistance.html#_resistance), [ACID SPLASH](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/acidSplash.html#_acid-splash), [DRENCH](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/rare-cantrips), [DAZE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/daze.html#_daze), [BREEZE](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/rare-cantrips), [DANCING LIGHTS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/dancingLights.html#_dancing-lights), [FLARE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/flare.html#_flare), [LIGHT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/light.html#_light), [PENUMBRA](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/rare-cantrips), [RAY OF FROST](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/rayOfFrost.html#_ray-of-frost), [SCOOP](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/rare-cantrips), [SPARK](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/spells/spark.html#_spark-), [GHOST SOUND](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/ghostSound.html#_ghost-sound), [HAUNTED FEY ASPECT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/spells/hauntedFeyAspect.html#_haunted-fey-aspect), [JOLT](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/rare-cantrips), [MAGE HAND](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/mageHand.html#_mage-hand), [MENDING](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/mending.html#_mending), [MESSAGE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/message.html#_message), [OPEN/CLOSE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/openClose.html#_open-close), [ROOT](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/rare-cantrips), [ARCANE MARK](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/arcaneMark.html#_arcane-mark), [PRESTIDIGITATION](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/prestidigitation.html#_prestidigitation)

LEVEL 1 [3/Day+1 Prepared] Save DC 13  
SCHOOL SPELL (ILLUSION):  
+(ILLU)VANISH – As invisibility for 1 round/level (5 max).  
+(CONJ) MAGE ARMOUR – Gives subject +4 armour bonus.  
++(ENCH)CHARM PERSON – Makes one person your friend.

WIZARD FIRST-LEVEL SPELLS KNOWN: [MAGE ARMOUR](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/mageArmor.html#_mage-armor), [DISGUISE SELF](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/disguiseSelf.html#_disguise-self), [ILLUSION OF CALM](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/spells/illusionOfCalm.html#_illusion-of-calm), [MAGIC AURA](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/magicAura.html#_magic-aura), [SHADOW WEAPON](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spells/shadowWeapon.html#_shadow-weapon), [VANISH](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/spells/vanish.html#_vanish), [CHARM PERSON](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/charmPerson.html#_charm-person)

* * *

DIRK STRIDER [BARD](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/bard.html#_bard) ([SOUND STRIKER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spellcastingClassOptions/bard.html#_sound-striker-\(archetype\))) 4  
NEUTRAL GOOD

TL:DR – Dirk's newly increased Charisma has a knock-on effect on his class abilities, and he has gained more powerful spells.

[ ](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/l063jz6sb9qxflb/Dirk%20Strider.png?dl=0)

BASIC STATISTICS  
GENDER: Male  
HAIR/EYES: Blonde hair, orange eyes  
HOMELAND: City of Porthaven (No Fixed Abode)/The Greenweald Forest Region (No Fixed Abode)  
DEITY: The Prince of Heart  
LANGUAGES: Common, Celestial, High Elven, Dwarven  
RACE: Aasimar

ATTRIBUTES  
STRENGTH: 13[+1]  
DEXTERITY: 12[+1]  
CONSTITUTION: 10[+0]  
INTELLIGENCE: 14[+2]  
WISDOM: 10[+0]  
CHARISMA: 18[+4]

HIT POINTS: 24/24  
HERO POINTS: 3/3  
INITIATIVE: +1  
BASE SPEED/S: 30ft (land)

ARMOUR CLASS [AC]: 14  
TOUCH AC: 11  
FLAT-FOOTED AC: 13

BASE ATTACK BONUS [BAB]: +3  
BASIC MELEE ATTACK: +4  
BASIC RANGED ATTACK: +4  
COMBAT MANEUVER BONUS [CMB]: +4  
COMBAT MANEUVER DEFENCE [CMD]: 15

SAVES  
FORTITUDE: +1  
REFLEX: +5  
WILL: +4

[WEAPONS/ATTACKS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/combat/easternArmorAndWeapons.html#_table-eastern-weapons-exotic)  
[MASTERWORK KATANA](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_katana) – This is a [deadly](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/combat/easternArmorAndWeapons.html#_deadly) weapon.  
[DAGGER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_dagger) \- Can be thrown, range 10ft.

EQUIPMENT - [CARRYING CAPACITY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/additionalRules.html#_carrying-capacity) (STR 13)

EQUIPMENT - ITEM SLOTS  
CLOTHING: ENTERTAINER'S OUTFIT + MASK  
This set of flashy- perhaps even gaudy- clothes is for entertaining. While the outfit looks whimsical, its practical design lets the character tumble, dance, walk a tightrope, or just run if the audience turns ugly. The mask is made from painted, varnished wood and cloth; it is ornate, gaudy even- a cheaper and more practical imitation of what a nobleman might wear to a masquerade ball.

ARMOUR: MASTERWORK STUDDED LEATHER  
+3 armour bonus, +5 max DEX bonus, -0 Armour Check Penalty, 15% Arcane Spell Failure Chance, LIGHT  
SPECIAL: Masterwork armour has an Armour Check Penalty one lower than normal and can be enchanted.

EQUIPMENT - POSSESSIONS  
Masterwork Katana 6lbs, Masterwork Studded Leather 20lbs, Clothing (Mask, 3gp) 1lb, Dagger 1lb, Waterskin 4lbs

>BACKPACK, COMMON 2lbs (Capacity 60lbs)  
Tent (Small, 1 person) 20lbs, Bedroll 5lbs, Kit (Juggler's) 10lbs, Rations (Wandermeal) [x14] [Eating this tough, dried cake for over a week without other nutrients causes the eater to feel ill] 7lbs

>POUCH, BELT 0.5lbs (Capacity 10lbs)  
Flint and Steel, Whetstone 1lb

>CARAVAN (Capacity 200lbs, Can produce mundane items up to 25gp in value)  
Maplehoof (Heavy Horse)

TOTAL 77.5lb (33.5lbs without backpack)

EQUIPMENT - MONEY  
13CP, 6SP, 7GP, 0PP  
OTHER:

SKILLS  
TRAINED  
+APPRAISE +6(1), +BLUFF +11(4), +CRAFT(SCULPTURES) +8(3), +DIPLOMACY +10(3), HANDLE ANIMAL +5(1), +INTIMIDATE +8(1), +KNOWLEDGE LOCAL +8(2), +PERCEPTION +7(4), +PERFORM(SHARP RHYMES) +11(4), +PERFORM(SWEET MOVES) +11(4), +SENSE MOTIVE +7(4)

UNTRAINED  
+ACROBATICS +1(+7)*, +CLIMB +1*, +CRAFT +2, +DISGUISE +4, +ESCAPE ARTIST +1*, HEAL +0, +KNOWLEDGE ARCANA +3, +KNOWLEDGE DUNGEONEERING +3, +KNOWLEDGE ENGINEERING +3, +KNOWLEDGE GEOGRAPHY +3, +KNOWLEDGE HISTORY +3, +KNOWLEDGE NATURE +3, +KNOWLEDGE NOBILITY +3, +KNOWLEDGE PLANES +3, +KNOWLEDGE RELIGION +3, +PERFORM +3, RIDE +1*, +STEALTH +1*, SURVIVAL +0, SWIM +1*  
(FLY +1*)

*Armour Check Penalty: Skill at –0 due to armour worn.  
+Class Skill

FEATS  
[SPELLSONG [REQUIRES: CHA 13, BARDIC PERFORMANCE, 1st-LEVEL SPELLCASTING]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/ultimateMagicFeats.html#_spellsong)  
The character can blend the power of his performance and spellcasting.

[LINGERING PERFORMANCE [REQUIRES: BARDIC PERFORMANCE CLASS FEATURE]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/advancedFeats.html#_lingering-performance)   
The effects of the character's bardic performance carry on, even after he has stopped performing.

[RACIAL ABILITIES: AASIMAR](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advancedRaceGuide/featuredRaces/aasimars.html#_aasimar-racial-traits)  
AASIMARS DO NOT COUNT AS OUTSIDERS FOR THE PURPOSE OF THIS SETTING.  
[DAYLIGHT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/daylight.html#_daylight) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Aasimars can touch an object and cause it to shed a brilliant light which drives back even magical darkness.  
LANGUAGES – Aasimars begin play speaking Common and Celestial. Aasimars with high Intelligence scores can choose any of the following bonus languages: Draconic, Dwarven, High Elven, Gnome, Halfling, and Sylvan.

SPECIAL ABILITIES  
GODMARKED  
WEAPON PROFICIENCY (KATANA)  
[DESTRUCTIVE SMITE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/cleric.html#_destruction-domain) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (7 USES/DAY)– The character can do more damage on a single melee attack, dependent on his character level.   
[DEATHWATCH](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/deathwatch.html#_deathwatch) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY](1 USE/DAY) - The character can determine the condition of creatures near death within the spell's range.

CLASS FEATURES  
WEAPON AND ARMOUR PROFICIENCY: BARD  
A bard is proficient with all simple weapons, plus the longsword, rapier, sap, shortsword, shortbow and whip. Bards are also proficient with light armour and shields (except tower shields). A bard can cast bard spells while wearing light armour and using a shield without incurring the normal arcane spell failure chance. Like any other arcane spellcaster, a bard wearing medium or heavy armour incurs a chance of arcane spell failure is the spell in question has a somatic component. A multiclass bard still incurs the normal arcane spell failure chance for arcane spells received from other classes.

BARDIC KNOWLEDGE [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
A bard has a little knowledge in all areas, and learns more as he becomes more experienced.

[BARDIC PERFORMANCE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/bard.html#_bardic-performance) (14 ROUNDS/DAY)  
A bard can create magical effects around him, so long as he is able to keep performing. He can make use of the following abilities when he performs, so long as he can be seen and/or heard by those he wishes to affect.  
1\. COUNTERSONG [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY]  
2\. DISTRACTION [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY]  
3\. FASCINATE [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (TARGETS 1)  
4\. INSPIRE COURAGE [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY]

[VERSATILE PERFORMANCE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/bard.html#_versatile-performance) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY] (Perform [Sweet Moves])  
At 2nd level, the bard can choose one type of Perform skill. He can use his bonus in that skill in place of his bonus in associated skills. Perform (Sweet Moves) can substitute for: Acrobatics, Fly

[WELL-VERSED](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/bard.html#_well-versed) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
At 2nd level, the bard becomes resistant to the bardic performance of others, and to sonic effects in general.

[WORDSTRIKE [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spellcastingClassOptions/bard.html#_wordstrike) 1D4+4 (1/2 for living creatures)  
At 3rd level, the sound striker can direct bursts of sonic power in his words, damaging creatures or objects.

SPELLS  
LEVEL 0 [At Will] Save DC 13  
[DETECT MAGIC](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/detectMagic.html#_detect-magic), [MENDING](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/mending.html#_mending), [MESSAGE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/message.html#_message), [PRESTIDIGITATION](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/prestidigitation.html#_prestidigitation), [SIFT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/spells/sift.html#_sift), [UNWITTING ALLY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/spells/unwittingAlly.html#_unwitting-ally)

LEVEL 1 [4/Day] Save DC 14  
[CHORD OF SHARDS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spells/chordOfShards.html#_chord-of-shards), [CURE LIGHT WOUNDS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/cureLightWounds.html#_cure-light-wounds), [MOMENT OF GREATNESS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/spells/momentOfGreatness.html#_moment-of-greatness), [TIMELY INSPIRATION](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/spells/timelyInspiration.html#_timely-inspiration)

LEVEL 2 [2/Day] Save DC 16  
[ALLEGRO](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spells/allegro.html#_allegro), [MASTERWORK TRANSFORMATION](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spells/masterworkTransformation.html#_masterwork-transformation)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What's this? More levelling up, so soon?
> 
> Well, I was very, very slow getting from level 2 to level 3, so I'm trying to push through a coupla levels to make up for it. :)
> 
> Not mentioned in the Notes above is that some alterations have been made to equipment- in particular Jake's and Gamzee's. These alterations should have been made last Level, when they were with the dwarves, but I didn't get around to it. Ho hum. They have stuff now- including a Handy Haversack each! These are magic items that all moderately-levelled adventurers should have, because they are like backpacks that hold loads of stuff, don't weigh much, and whatever you're trying to take out is on the top. :) Gamzee also has a tin of magic face paint from Myoc- ehehehehe.
> 
>  **Announcement: Permanant Update Schedule Alteration**  
>  After much consideration and a few massive warning signs, it has become clear to me that I can no longer sustain the effort required to update LODAD on a weekly schedule. I will therefore be moving to a fortnightly (two-week) update schedule, starting as of right now. This will enable better quality chapters, more working on other fics, and most importantly of all me not exploding in a ball of rage at anyone who looks at me funny.
> 
> I hope that you all continue to enjoy this story, which I intend to keep moving at a brisker pace despite the slower updates. :)


	76. ==> Jade: Family Reunion!!! :B

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Hero point votes:**  
>  NO HERO POINT VOTES CAST.
> 
>  **Current Hero Points:**  
>  John 3/5, Rose 3/5, Dave 2/3, Jade 2/3  
>  **Karkat 5/5,** **Gamzee 3/3,** Terezi 3/5  
>  **Sollux 3/3,** Aradia 2/3, Kanaya 4/5  
>  Jane 2/5, Jake 3/5, **Roxy 3/3,** Dirk 2/3

## ==> Jade: Family Reunion!!! :B

When you were small, Guardian Wolfsister used to tell you stories about the great cities of the Stormwrack coast. You had listened wide-eyed as the other cubs to tales of the forbidding stone walls of Skyrock and the bustling, colourful dockside markets of Whitecliff, trying to picture the countless people that filled them. Of Porthaven, you heard about the golden domes and the bright banners, and the the statues of ancient Aasimar that watched over the roads.

Looking up at it now, you aren’t certain whether it falls short of your expectations or exceeds them. From the road you can’t see any of the glittering features that your guardian described, but what you can see isn’t like anything in the Greenweald. The river led you into farmland before your boat popped out of existence and you had just about grown used to the flat swatches of colour marching up the hills, but tramping down the dust of the road with you are more people than you have ever seen before in your life. Intellectually you knew that they had to exist and that they would be here, but walking towards the city is like walking through a forest made of living bodies, populated by rumbling carts and pack-laden mules.

Ahead of you is a wall four times the height of an elf, which isn’t so strange because you’ve seen the ruined temples buried amongst the trees. What you can’t stop looking at are the rooftops peeking over it, some square and some slanted in a jagged patchwork canopy of stone and slate and bundled reeds. Everything seems impossibly chaotic and you can’t wait to get inside and have a proper look.

Jake looks almost as stunned as you feel, and you decide it’s about time you forgave him for being an assbutt the other day. If there’s one thing you’ve worked out about your estranged brother, its that he’s dumb about people stuff!

He jumps a little when you nudge him, and you flash him a grin. “Isn’t this exciting!?”

Seeing that you’re not chewing into him, he smiles back, and it’s dazzling the way his face lights up. “I’ll say!” He looks back over at the city wall, and the wide gates that hang open in the road. “Although I must admit, I was expecting something a tad smaller.”

“Really?” You examine the city again and try to compare it to the underground clanhold Jake grew up in. “I thought it would be bigger, actually.”

Sollux mutters something under his breath. Even though you don’t hear it, you glare at him anyway on the grounds that you know it was rude. Aradia chuckles and wraps an arm around his shoulders, which hunch in protest.

“So which line are we using?” she asks him. Surprised, you look at the crowd again, and see that down by the gate it seems to be narrowing into thinner streams.

Sollux shrugs. “Thecond one?”

“Why?” you ask, still craning to try and see what’s going on down there.

“Becauthe I like the number two, ith why,” says Sollux, and before you can point out that you were only curious he strides off at double-pace ahead of you. Well, two can play at that game. You smile a little wickedly- only a little!- and give Jake’s rear a hearty slap.

“Come on, let’s catch up!” you say to your startled brother, and then you’re off before he can respond. You stifle your giggles as he starts to run up behind you. Really, you only did it to get him moving, but he does have a nice butt. It’s almost as nice as his smile, or his puppy-like enthusiasm…

 _No! Bad brain!_ You quickly school your face into obedience as he comes up beside you, beaming only slightly uncertainly. Guardian Wolfsister warned you that this might happen and you already made your mind up years and years ago that it would be really silly of you to size up a blood sibling as a potential mate. Especially since a good chunk of it is probably just hormones and the fact that you only started hanging out with people who weren’t your guardian or wolves recently. You consider this, and conclude that yep, you are definitely horny.

Based on the new data you decide that touching Jake’s butt, while totally a good plan, was also a mistake and one that you shouldn’t make again. Keeping up a good pace, you size up your other options and immediately reject Sollux on the grounds that he’s no fun at all and would probably bite, and not in a good way. Aradia is a maybe. You don’t know if she’d say yes, and you’ve heard that not-druid people can get weird about sex stuff. Maybe you should try and make some new friends in the city for that?

As you get closer, you can see the half-dozen coloured pavilions lined across the road, and the queues leading into them. The two on the end seem to be letting people out, but the crowd slows to a crawl in both directions as you slip onto the end of the second line.

“This seems jolly inefficient,” Jake says. Sollux frowns.

“Thith theemth weird ath thit,” he says, leaning past a woman who clusters a little closer to her donkey and gives them all a disapproving and mildly fearful sniff. “Uthually they jutht wave people through, unleth they look thuthpiciouth.”

“How does someone look suspicious?” you ask. Sollux snorts.

“Oh, you know. Carry armour or weaponth. Be covered in mud and leaveth. Have no vithable thignth of a legitimate profethion.” He pokes at the top of one of his horns. “Be a tiefling.”

“Oh,” you say, and look down at your own travel-worn armour, then glance over at Bec. “Have a wolf for a best friend and travelling companion?”

“Yep!” says Aradia. Her smile looks a little glassy. “But Sollux is right, it usually moves much faster than this. Excuse me!” She turns around and beams at a startled-looking carter behind her. “We’ve been away from the city for a while; do you happen to know why the gate lines are so slow?”

The man stares at her in mingled shock and disgust, then shakes the reins. His cart turns and trots slowly into the next line. Aradia turns back to you and shrugs. “Guess we’ll find out later!”

You’re about to express your horror at how rude the carter just was, but Jake beats you to it. “Blistering bafflesnakes,” he says, looking decidedly affronted. “Do you want me to go after that cad and give him a proper whalloping until he acquires some manners?”

Aradia gives him a smile that you feel uniquely qualified to define as lupine. “Depends. Do you want me to swoon into your strong, manly arms afterwards?”

According to the scale you’ve been working on in the privacy of your own head, the look Jake gives her scores a seven-point-two on the Brotherly Baffleometer. “Uh, I suppose that depends on whether you would want to?” he ventures, and you inwardly applaud because it seems he’s learned basic self-preservation at least. “I mean, it would hardly be gentlemanly of me to expect something of the sort, but if you were keen on the idea then I wouldn’t be averse, except it really doesn’t sound like the sort of thing that you would…”

“For the love of fuck, will you thut up?” says Sollux, in one of the mildest tones of reproval you’ve heard from him yet. “It’th embarathing to everyone in earthot. I’ve met dithfigured orcth who were better flirtth than you.”

You catch sight of a few people around you smiling, and give Jake’s back a hearty pat. You were literally raised by wolves, and people are hard, and you understand.

By the time you reach the front of the queue the sun has climbed high and started sinking down again, and you’ve all run out of water. The last of your trail rations make an okay lunch but your mouth feels drier than the road, and you’re worried about the way Jake is turning slowly pink along the bridge of his nose. Neither of you is exactly pasty compared to some of the people you can see, but you’ve had years to brown up and you don’t think he’s ever been out long enough to burn before. He’s going to be sore and itchy tomorrow!

Standing by a low wooden gate, under a bright orange canopy, the armoured man looks even more fed up than you feel. It can’t be easy guarding the gate all day, but whatever sympathy you might have had for him vanishes when he sees your group and he gives a dismissive snort.

“State your business,” he says, in a tone that suggests he doesn’t think you have any and that he is going to enjoy telling you to fuck off.

Aradia is either oblivious to this or more likely chooses to ignore it, giving him a bright smile. “Adventurers, turning in a private mapping contract,” she says, and holds out a folded parchment before he can even ask for it. The guard examines it closely; you start to fidget.

“This letter of employment states a party of three,” the guard says. “Sollux Twinblood, Aradia Dreamwalker and Kanaya Godschild.” He looks pointedly at Jake, then at you and Bec. “Nothing about two Tuatha and a dog.”

“Wolf,” you correct, a little snappishly. The guard gives Bec a second, more suspicious glance.

“Thome thtuff happened, we have a different rothter,” says Sollux. “Look, we have a legitimate reathon to thet foot in the thity, jutht let uth patht already.”

The guard hands back the parchment. “I’m sorry, but that won’t be possible,” he says, sounding not sorry at all. “Following recent events, we can only allow people entry if they have evidence of employment or residence within Porthaven. You don’t have either.”

“Bullthit!” Sollux’s yell is accompanied by a small shower of red-blue sparks. “We live here! JD and JK have _family_ in there!”

The guard tilts his head. “And your permanent address?” he asks. Sollux falls silent and starts examining his feet.

Aradia pats him on the back, then steps forward. “What do you mean by ‘recent events’?” she asks, still smiling.

The guard actually looks mildly surprised. “You didn’t hear? The Oracle of Light was kidnapped, a couple of weeks ago. The whole city is in uproar.” He leans in and lowers his voice. “If I were you, I’d cut my losses and leave. It could turn ugly in there, especially for anyone… _different.”_

You see worry on Aradia’s face for a moment before she hides it, and Sollux’s head snaps up from his feet. Making a mental note to ask later, you rest a hand on Bec’s ruff and wave at the guard.

“Excuse me,” you say, summoning up your very best manners even if he doesn’t deserve them. “But we do have evidence of employment for Sollux and Aradia, right?”

Slowly, the guard nods.

“Well, me and Jake are here to see family, so is there any way we could get in on a- I don’t know, a temporary pass or something?”

Jake’s face brightens. “Smashing idea!” he says, grinning at you. He turns back to the guard. “Look, I don’t know if this helps, but our brother and sister are members of the Watch, or should be by now. John and Jane Warden?”

The guard almost drops his shield. “Warden? You’re related to them?” You give a hesitant nod, and he glances about before leaning in. “Look, don’t spread that about. Word is in the guard that they’ve gone after whoever took the Oracle, but official notice has them as potential suspects.” He shakes his head. “I never met them, but from what I hear they were good kids. Not much reason for them to vanish unless they’re tracking her down.”

“John and Jane are gone?” blurts Jake. Bec whimpers.

“It’s okay,” you say, rallying against the sinking feeling in your chest. “Mom and Dad should still be here, and we can look for them after.”

There’s a moment of hush over your group as the news sinks in; around you the road is still bustling, though, and the people behind you are starting to look pretty impatient. Aradia glances at them and leans in a little closer.

“Okay, so how much would it come to? For a temporary pass, I mean.”

The guard looks into her hopeful smile, then back at you and Jake, then over at Sollux who’s still being sulky. He sighs. “Adventurers, right? Five gold for each of you, and if anyone asks, it wasn’t me who let you in.”

Aradia chuckles and fiddles with her belt pouch, before handing over the parchment again. This time it jingles a little, and you see gold flash as he tips it out and pockets the money.

“Well, I suppose this is in order, then,” he says, a little too loudly and visibly put out as he hands the letter back. “Be cautioned that there is currently a sundown curfew in effect, and that the Watch and the Temple of Light are pursuing a zero tolerance policy for the good of public order.”

“Thank you, sir,” says Aradia, taking the letter back and continuing to smile as she ushers you all through the wooden gate. The lines blend back into a single crowd almost immediately after, and you stay in the wake that she is pushing out in order to move forwards. You can hear Sollux griping in an undertone about the loss of twenty gold, which you have to admit is a lot of money, but honestly you’re all still carrying the reward Jake’s dwarfmom and dwarfdad gave you!

Most of your attention, however, is on the immense arched gateway you are passing through. It’s wide enough for a stampede to pass through unimpeded, and when you look up you can see carved reliefs standing out against the stone. They’re painted, and you can make out clearly the images of celestial aasimar descending from the outer planes, greeted by massed crowds of fresh-faced and joyful Tuatha and Aelfen. There’s a lot of blue and a buttercup yellow that you think is meant to be gold, some of the noses and fingers are chipped, and somebody has managed to draw a twirly moustache on one of the more painfully noble aasimar. You’re still fairly impressed, although a nice woodland scene might have been better. Then the unknown graffiti artist would probably have drawn a moustache on a deer, which you personally think would be much more humorous.

Then you step out from under the gate arch, and for the first time you really see what a city is. You freeze, unheeding of the people who bump into you while watch the streets that flow like rivers of people, the buildings free of moss and vines that crowd up against one another, the riot of colours and smells- and stenches!- that remind you of wolf dens and flower groves and sitting by the fire with Gunnar and Thyri and everyone else. Bec presses close to your leg, and you wind your fingers into his fur. It makes you feel as though the world isn't spinning under your feet.

“Good gracious,” says Jake, and you giggle.

Sollux and Aradia share a look; she smiles, and he rolls his eyes. “Thith way,” he says, not quite grabbing you before he starts off at a good pace, weaving through the crowd as easily as you would walk through undergrowth. You hurry to follow him, and he quickly leads you off the main street and into a tributary alleyway, which turns out to lead into a similarly narrow and winding network of streets. Traversing them involves ducking under laundry, stepping around chickens, nodding to unshaven and ragged-looking men who are playing dice games, and generally trying to keep Sollux in sight because even though you have an amazing sense of direction, you have no idea how to find anything in this maze.

“Where are we?” asks Jake, batting aside someone's bedsheets in an attempt to follow Aradia.

“Oh, somewhere near Pool Street Market by now,” she says, squinting up at the sliver of sky that shows past the cramped upper storeys of the buildings. “We usually take the back way to the Adventurer's Quarter anyway; we tend to stand out otherwise!”

You nod and wonder what Pool Street Market looks like and if you can visit it soon.

Your twisting, turning journey ends when you re-emerge onto a street that is very different to the first; it's narrower, and much less busy- you can see the cobblestones underfoot, smoothed by generations of boots. The few people you can see around are all armoured and armed, like you, and a few of them give friendly nods in your direction as they cluster around the doorways of the narrow buildings. You follow Sollux and Aradia, your head turning hither and thither to take it all in, and reach the conclusion that most of the buildings here must be shops. They all have signs out front, painted with words so worn and ornamented that you can't read them and with images that have been painstakingly renewed over and over again. Here, a crossed sword and shield over a door that smells of iron and smoke. There, a sturdy pair of boots and a belt, accompanied by the scent of new leather. A little further on, a sign showing a green flame over a door covered in locks and next to a barred window. You're so busy taking in the scenery you almost bump into Aradia when she stops.

“Well, this is it.” She smiles at you, expectant.

On the outside it doesn’t look that different to the buildings around it, and not just because you’re still getting used to this whole city thing. It’s got the same rough grey-stone frontage, two steps up to a door that abuts directly against the street, and an upper floor of painted plaster and wooden struts that leans alarmingly forward over your head. On careful examination, though, you spot a key difference: this building is wider than its neighbours. Where you would expect to see the door to the next building, there’s just a window, so you’d imagine it’s twice as big as the surrounding shops.

The sign hangs just in front of you, a painted image of a cheery leather-clad adventurer sitting at the foot of a crooked road sign and raising a tankard in salute. He looks a little bit like Jake, which you think is odd until you realise why.

Jake gives you a wry smile, failing to hide that fact that he's as nervous as you are. “Ready for this, old girl?”

You nod, and taking a deep breath to steady your nerves, you push open the door and step inside.

It takes your eyes a moment to adjust, but when they do you can't help but smile. The taproom of the inn is dark and close and smells of wood polish and beer, and all the heads that turn to meet you belong to people wearing armour and robes with bulging and threadbare packs at their feet. Over the fireplace is an impressive collection of battered weaponry, orbiting a large and menacing falchion in pride of place. There's a slight hush as you and Jake step in, which becomes a storm of whispers when Sollux and Aradia join you; you just about make out the words “go get them” from a group in the corner, and then a redheaded halfling vanishes behind the bar and through a door.

Jake raises a hand and waves, and you grin at everyone. “Hi,” you say in unison.

Your friendliness does nothing but fuel the whispers. Sollux snorts and strolls over to a table near the bar, slumping into a free chair.

“You look a lot more like JH and JN in thith light,” he comments.

Jake's face lights up. “Wait, you know them?”

You roll your eyes. “Of course he does! Obviously, if our parents own...”

Your voice breaks off as the door behind the bar swings open again and you find yourself looking at a man with the same choppy, messy dark hair as Jake and a pair of deep, dark eyes that stare at you in wonder. A moment later he's shoved aside by a woman who bustles forward and lets out a squeak when she sees you both standing there in the centre of the taproom. She's paler than he is, her hair a lighter purple sheen, but her face is the one you and Jake are wearing.

“No...” she breathes. “It isn't, surely...”

You swallow, and wiggle your fingers in a wave. “Hi, Mom.”

In a flurry of blue and white skirts she vaults over the bar and grabs you up, one to an arm, pressing your heads into her shoulders and her face against your hair, one then the other. “My babies,” she says between sobs. “My babies, my Jade, my Jake, you found us!”

You hold onto her every bit as tight, because she's not the person who raised you and she's not the person who taught you but she is the person you've wondered and dreamed about for years, and she's real and she's here and so are you.

Another pair of arms encircle you, pressing you close, and you look around to see the man- your father- joining in the hug. Close up you can see some laughter lines around his eyes, and given how young they both look you think he must laugh a lot for those to be there.

“Welcome home,” he says, and your mouth smiles of its own accord. Nearby someone starts clapping, and the sound runs around the whole taproom until the four of you are at the centre of a vast crashing wave of applause. You laugh and you hug your Mom and then you hug your Dad again for good measure, and then you let yourself be led over to the table Sollux staked out where you take a seat.

“And who's this, then?” asks Dad, bending down and reaching out for Bec. Your wolf holds still and politely lets the man ruffle his fur.

“That's Bec,” you say. “He's been with me since he was a cub.”

“Good man,” says Dad, and winks at the wolf. “Taking care of my little girl, eh?”

“Leave it be, Bill,” says Mom, but she's smiling. “It's so good to meet you both- Aradia, Sollux, thank you for seeing them home safe.”

“No problem at all,” says Aradia with a smile. “They practically looked after us!”

“But if you could conthider a thmall fee...” says Sollux. Aradia elbows him in the ribs. You snort a little, caught between laughter and mortification, but Mom and Dad just smile knowingly.

“How about this,” says Mom. “Drinks and board on the house until you leave.” She chuckles. “Knowing you that will come to quite the tab!”

Dad drops into the stool between you and Jake while Aradia thanks her. “So, kids,” he says, still grinning. “How about you tell your old pops all about how you got here?”

You gather quite a crowd as the two of you recount your adventures- with certain pertinent God-mark shaped details omitted, of course. You take it in turns to tell parts of your stories, and it's fun hearing about what happened to Jake in detail even if it is awful in places! You drink while you talk and you start to feel merrier and merrier as the night goes on- in fact, you suspect that more than a few of the patrons are deliberately shoving drinks in front of the four of you, to make you talk more! The scoundrels. Fortunately you all had the presence of mind to yell “NO!” when Sollux asked for mead, but he seems to be getting pretty tipsy just on ale, and weirdly you think Aradia is getting drunk too even though she's only having mug after mug of fruit juice. You didn't even know that you could get fruit juice at an inn- Guardian Wolfsister said that it would be hard to come by, because most people don't want to go to all that effort getting the juice out when there's perfectly good ale nearby. Maybe it's a tiefling thing; you know she rests differently to an elf, too.

The attention you're getting is pretty intense, actually. More than a few of the bustier patrons are trying to droop over Jake, along with one or two of the not-busty ones, which would be funnier if he didn't look so obviously uncomfortable with the whole situation. You share a glance with your Mom- who's been doing a great job of running the bar and listening at the same time- and the two of you start conspiring to get them away from him. She distracts them with drink calls, and you physically interpose yourself. It seems to be working pretty good after a bit, and when it's your turn to talk again they seem to have mostly given up.

Then you get to the point where Jake's story reaches the Deep Caverns and intersects with the helpful adventurers, and the argument breaks out. Aradia did make a little “eep” noise and try to make shushing gestures, but the moment he mentions that they were followers of the Knight of Blood all hell breaks loose and no amount of shouting will quiet it down. Sighing heavily, your father pushes back his chair and stands up.

“Hold the fort, kids,” he says. “Off to get a stick to wrangle this lot with!”

He vanishes off into the crowd, shoving people aside with his elbows, and your Mom gives you a worried look then ducks back into the kitchen with a call of “just going to get the crossbow, dear!”

You look back at Jake, who looks completely bemused. You vaguely remember Guardian Wolfsister explaining something about how there were two types of Gods, but you never really cared much for all that deity stuff. The material plane is much more interesting!

At any rate, the crowd seems pretty evenly split between people decrying the Knight of Blood as evil, people who don't care and just want to get on with the story, and Jake who has started insisting that everyone he ever met associated with the god in question was an alright sort. Over that, Sollux has started loudly wondering what the gods call each other, because it would have to be awkward using titles the whole time. He must be drunker than you thought, as must Aradia, because she's laughing so hard there isn't even any sound coming out.

Someone taps on your shoulder and you look around to see a small, mousey elf wearing thick hide armour and carrying a spear.

“Greetings, Guardian,” he says, in the Druidic tongue, and you grin and bow your head in response.

“Greetings, Guardian,” you reply in the same language, before switching back to common. “Have you been here the whole time?”

“We missed the start of the story,” he says, and holds out a hand. “Eric the Druid, although you know that part.” Seeing you looking around for his animal companion, he shakes his head. “I, ah, chose a wider bond to nature, but it meant sacrificing such a dedicated bond.”

“Oh.” You shuffle about a bit. “I'm sorry!”

“No, it's my choice,” Eric says. “I still plan to bond, just later. I just wanted to let you know that your tale is an impressive one, especially considering that few of us have done anything so dangerous!”

“Oh, thank you!” you say, smiling at him. “But mostly we were just trying to survive and- um, stuff?” You frown. Your head feels pretty fuzzy. Maybe Sollux isn't the only one drunker than you thought. “So have you thought about what kind of animal you want to bond with? Because wolves are awesome. Then again, so are frogs! I met some really great frogs, they tried to eat us, but I'm sure that was nothing personal and who wouldn't want a friend who's amphibious and has a huge sticky tongue!”

Eric laughs. “I'll bear that in mind!”

“Oh, I would!” You nod, warming to your topic. “I think that a frog would be a great friend to have. They're really important, you know; the Witch loves them for a reason and it's so, so vital that you get the right ones...” You pause, frowning. There's something important there, but it's slipping away from you.

“Codswallop,” says a loud, piercing voice. You look over to see a woman in long robes, fraying yellow velvet, leaning across the table and peering down her nose at Sollux. “One could most assuredly not use a simple name-finding ritual to ascertain the soul names of the gods themselves! Quite apart from the potential heresy, the framework is completely insufficient in both power and targeting potential...”

“I didn't _thay_ to uthe a thimple one, you pedantic lackwit,” snaps Sollux, the words drawling out of his mouth more muffled than usual by alcohol.

“Oh, no,” mutters Eric. You glance back.

“You know her?”

“Unfortunately,” he groans. “I'd better go find Blake, he's better at getting people to calm down.”

The wizard, unaware that the two of you were discussing her or that Eric is backing off, scoffs at Sollux. “Please. And what pray would you advise, you uneducated ragamuffin?”

You wince even as Sollux stands, his chair tumbling backwards and clattering to the floor. “You got thomething to thay to me, _withard?”_

The wizard leans on her staff, smirking. “Yes. You are a disgusting jumped-up freak of nature, with no appreciation for the true elegance of magic.”

Somehow Jake's gun is in his hand before Sollux even opens his mouth, but none of you are fast enough to stop him as he slurs out three bone-wrenching, blood-boiling words. Twin jets of red fire and blue lightning blaze across the table and slam into the wizard, and shouts of alarm go up from all around as she slaps down her smouldering robes. She's already casting a spell of her own as Aradia tries and fails to drag Sollux back, and you're just about to duck when something cold and metallic presses against your neck.

“Don't move, any of you!” yells the pinch-faced man holding the crossbow, his eyes flickering from you to his friend the wizard and the ethereal armour surrounding her. You don't wait to see how your friends react; slipping out of your seat, you reach out for your power.

Guardian Wolfsister once told you that people in a city think that nature is far away and removed from them, but even if you hadn't been taught that was a false impression you can feel it the instant you draw on the magic of the earth. It tastes different here, more stony and less green, with the wary ferociousness of a scavenger and the pounding heart of the hunt neverending, but then it tasted different underground too. You grasp for the deep roots of the world, and in an adrenaline-fuelled moment of clarity that you've searched for ever since you knew it existed, you shift.

The man holding a crossbow to you staggers back in shock as you drop to all fours, elven shape falling away to reveal the wolf within. You curl back your lip from your new snout and snarl at him as Bec charges in from behind and bites into him, teeth sinking clean through boiled leather and ripping away a gory chunk of flesh. Behind you there's a clatter as Jake kicks the table over and rolls behind it; there's a loud bang and a smell of burning sulphur, and the pinch-faced man collapses, a perfect dark rose blooming on his shoulder.

Behind you Sollux yells again, and you smell smoke that is almost overwhelming to your lupine nose as the taproom flashes with flickering light. You glance back in time to see him stumble over the upturned table and land on his butt, which you would have more sympathy for if the entire tavern wasn't turning into a battleground. There's a smouldering section of floorboards now, which you don't have time to worry about because Eric your fellow druid claps his hands and shouts, and in a tug of magic that you can feel a rat the size of a small dog coalesces into existence. It launches itself straight at Jake; he raises an arm just in time and it ends up chewing on the glittering metal links of his snazzy armour. Aradia frowns and pulls out her whip with a flourish; you hear it crack! with ears that are a thousand times more sensitive than the ones you hatched with.

The sound of heavy metal boots clattering on wood is your only warning, and you are too slow to dodge the longsword that swings towards you. You yelp as it bites through your thick hide, scoring a bloody line under the fur. Light flares in the corner of your vision as the wizard retaliates for Sollux's assault, and you can smell the blood of the pinch-faced man congealing under your nose.

Growling, you retaliate for the painful blow. Something gold and green and black and ancient as the stars grows inside you, burning out the haze of drunkenness with wildfire, and your teeth sink into the man's leg just above his greaves. You don't manage to pull him off-balance, but you leave a leaking wound in his calf, and a moment later Bec rips an even bigger chunk out of his thigh. The man stumbles, bleeding. Behind you there's another sulphurous crack, a yelp of pain from Aradia and the snap of a whip, and then you feel the magic unravel as the dire rat fades back into the waiting magic of the city. The air grows hotter as Sollux shouts again, his spell almost lost in the cacophony of the bar fight, and you nearly miss the flash of magic from Eric the Druid as he fires a spell at Bec.

Your companion shakes his head and the magical sparkles fall away harmlessly, then your attention is pulled back to the armoured man as he tries to shove you back. You snap at him uselessly, teeth not even connecting with his armour, and refuse to move. A blast of cold air behind you tells you that more magic is flying and you lunge to snap at the man again, almost landing on your snout when he ducks aside. Bec makes a similarly useless attempt at biting him. You can hear Jake firing rhythmically, falling into the same pattern he tried to teach you when he was showing you your musket only far, far faster than you ever managed to make it or think your could. Shot, reload, shot, reload. You can hear the bullets splintering wood and clattering on metal, and you think maybe he shouldn't be shooting drunk.

A scream from the wizard draws your attention, and you look back to see her running her fingers along a charred patch in the centre of her staff. Sollux is sprawled across the floor, giggling and sticking his tongue out at her. Eric the Druid snarls almost as well as you do, stepping in and skewering your companion with a swift spear-jab that scores a line along his arm. Sollux stops laughing, and Aradia shouts and raises her arms, letting lose a wash of vaguely calming magic that doesn't seem to do much at all.

Beside you the armoured man stoops and you try to bite him but miss; his hands press against the still form of the pinch-faced man and there is a flare of light so brilliant that for a moment you think you might have gone blind. You can smell cut grass and the earth after rain and the joy of cuddling with your brothers and sisters, and then you blink and the pinch-faced man is gasping for air and opening his eyes, the edges of his wounds looking less new and raw.

The wizard is still screaming and you hear a thwacking noise as she starts battering at Sollux with her scorched staff, which almost distracts you from the crossbow bolt that whistles past your head and embeds in one of the rafters. You snarl at the pinch-faced man and snap at the armoured one; he flinches back into Bec's bite, and with a fierce snarl your animal companion bites deep into his throat and tears out what looks like a really, really important piece of body!

The man collapses in a spray of hot blood and loud metal; some of it lands in your fur, and for a moment you're frozen. It occurs to you through the fog of angry wolf instincts that this may have gone too far for a simple bar fight; your head turns and you see Jake's pistols flaring, almost as bright as the magic that ricochets from every corner. Sollux is rolling around on the floor practically spewing fire in drunken attempts to hit the- now bleeding and panting- wizard and her staff; Eric is jabbing furiously at him and hitting the floor, while Aradia throws handfuls of pure energy across the room. Beside you, blood is still pumping out of the guy that you now think was only trying to help his friend.

Said friend looks up at you and swallows. “Truce?” he asks, voice quavering.

With a growl that becomes a curse, you shift back to human. The magic holding you in wolf shape retreats but you don't think about it, too busy holding a hand out at Bec. “Down, boy!” you order, then turn to yell over your shoulder. “Man down! Everyone, stop, someone's really hurt here!”

Jake looks over at you and hesitates. Sollux does not. With one last maddened cackle, he manages to envelop the wizard's staff in flames. She drops it with a yelp, then screams as it turns to blackened ash. It's an awful sound, pure soul-deep pain, and you want to kick Sollux's laughing ass so hard but Aradia gets there first, grabbing him and slamming him into the floor. Eric the Druid runs over and skids to a halt on his knees, spell half-formed before his hands even touch flesh. You breathe a sigh of relief as green-tinted magic knits new arteries and muscles and skin into the armoured man's neck.

It's at that point, with everyone slumped on the ground and the entire taproom a wreck full of shattered furniture and exhausted combatants and blood and the scars of magic, that the door bursts open and a dozen armed and armoured guards run in.

“Hold, in the name of the Watch!” shouts the woman in the front, pointing her sword in the general direction of Sollux and Aradia. “You are all under arrest for breaching the peace! Resistance will be met with deadly force.”

You groan and slump forward, forehead dropping into Bec's fur. You are going to wait until you're both sober, and then you are going to _kill_ Sollux.

### Suggestions Used

 _Evi -_ Sollux: (oh fuck the typing quirk, too many) Make a decision through your predilection for the number "2".

 _lotosBolter -_ Jade: Touch butt. Regret nothing. (Okay, maybe a little.)

 _ttd0000 -_ Jade: Suppress attraction to own brother you have never met. (She's never met Jake, right. Oh well, I left it vague.)

 _lotosBolter -_ Aradia/Sollux: Bribe someone. (Goddamit.)

 _J-Rook -_ Aradia: get tipsy from drinking something with a lot of sugar in it, because its now rather cannon that that's how homestuck trolls metabolize it. Confuse one of your new friends by how you got drunk on something without alcohol in it.

 _Evi -_ Everybody: Get flaming drunk.

 _Evi -_ Somebody: Get everybody flaming drunk on purpose.

 _Ms Arano -_ Jade: find stick to beat off Jake's admirers with /snerk

 _Slyjinks -_ Jake: Encounter someone (PC or NPC) with the more common, negative attitude towards the Knight of Blood. Be fairly baffled because every person you've met associated with him (Karkat, the adventurers who help Golgesi escapees) have been right decent chaps! Maybe a bit surly and rough, but still, right decent! (I've gotten the impression that the Dwarves and, by extension, Jake, are not necessarily up to speed on other pantheons, but if I've missed something that indicates that Jake would already be aware of the usual attitudes towards the Knight of Blood, this command is invalid)

 _Deshah -_ Sollux: Wonder what the gods call eachother. Surely they don't use titles all the time.

 _BooksKeepSecrets -_ Jade: Enthuse about frogs to someone. Oh, sure, they tried to eat you once, but that's irrelevant! Frogs are great!

 _HUNRonin -_ Sollux: Get sh*t-faced drunk and do something very regretable. In the inn Jake and Jade's parents own.

 _ttd0000 -_ Jade: Fight alongside friends as a giant wolf.

 _ttd0000 -_ Aradia: Whip it! Whip it good!

 _randomunintelligiblewords -_ Jade and Jake: Get arrested in Porthaven. Meet your siblings' colleagues.

[System Notes](http://celynbrum.tumblr.com/post/63264586472/lodad-system-notes-chapter-76)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am not regretting my new update schedule! I had more fun writing this chapter than I've had in _ages_ , and I think it's come out a little longer than the last few as well! :)
> 
> There's been a time skip of about a week to allow the various groups to travel without getting horribly bogged down in those journeys; skips like that are liable to become more common in future.
> 
> See you all in two weeks! :)


	77. ==> Rose: It's Not Paranoia If They Are Out To Get You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Hero point votes:**  
>  Terezi 1  
> Jake 1
> 
>  **Current Hero Points:**  
>  John 3/5, Rose 3/5, Dave 2/3, Jade 2/3  
>  **Karkat 5/5, Gamzee 3/3,** Terezi 3/5  
>  **Sollux 3/3,** Aradia 2/3, Kanaya 4/5  
>  Jane 2/5, Jake 3/5, **Roxy 3/3,** Dirk 2/3

## ==> Rose: It's Not Paranoia If They Are Out To Get You

It's already dark when you arrive at the ruined village, the only shelter you've seen since leaving the canopy of the trees. By all the collective calculations of the group- a process that involved no small amount of pointing at the sky and arguing about various constellations- you believe yourselves to be somewhere in the north of the Orc Lands, almost due east of the Starspire Peak.

Technically, you are aware that you are far ahead of schedule and cannot possibly be here at this time, but Dirk keeps patting Maplehoof and casting her curious glances when he thinks nobody is watching. You would have to be particularly foolish to look this literal gift horse in the mouth and so you choose not to raise the impossibility of your location.

From a distance you had been hopeful that your destination was a bastion of civilisation, but it was Jane who spotted the distinct lack of organised farmland and as the sun began to sink, the lack of firelight had provided sufficient evidence to indicate what you were going to find. John and Jane lead the way down the channel of scrubby green growth that used to be the main street, Roxy just behind them; you are safely ensconced in the middle of the group alongside Dave, holding onto Frigglish for good measure.

Frigglish is still a ridiculous name for a cat. You can only hope to believe that your sister did not choose it sincerely.

“We should set up camp in one of these houses,” says Jane, looking at the shadowy stone husks around you all. The windows are all empty holes, and the bare broken rafters stand out as stark silhouettes against the fading blue of the sky. You study them, disquieted by something you cannot quite identify, and take note of a half-rotten sign labelling your location as “Canton”.

“Nah,” says Dave. “Not awesome enough.” He points to the building at the end of the street, a looming square shadow as shattered as the rest. “How about we set up in style? Doubt whichever god it was built for is gonna mind.”

“Mind?” says Dirk. He's behind you, and his voice drifts in slower than you think it ought. “I'd say they'd be flattered, having our fine selves as houseguests. There's not many left unimpressed when we pitch a tent.”

Dave groans and you chuckle, amused by the bemusement John and Jane are wearing more than the innuendo. “Master Silvertongue, you have a fascinating way with words.”

He gives you a solemn little bow when you turn back. “Top quality linguistics, only the best for the Oracle of Light.”

Roxy can't stop snickering all the way to the temple up ahead, but as your own amusement fades the sense of wrongness grows stronger. Looking about, you cannot help but wonder what happened here; there are no signs of disorder or disarray apart from the desolate buildings. Maplehoof trots after you and waits patiently by the caravan when Dirk pats her and quietly whispers in her ear.

Inside, the mystery only deepens when you find the interior of the temple largely untouched. You run your fingers along a wall hanging and examine the room in the moonlight streaming in from above. Missing roof aside, the temple looks as though everyone merely stepped out for a brief while, benches stacked against the walls of a chamber that isn't circular so much as it is roughly hexagonal. Temples of the Heir look different to the long, graceful havens of light and shade to which you have become accustomed, and despite the fact that you have sat in such a chamber every Warden's Watch since you were first elevated you still feel like an intruder. Surreptitiously sniffing the air, you scent nothing but night-time. If ever there was incense burning here, it has long since drifted away.

“So, do we set up here?” asks Dave. “Or should we head down to the catacombs, in case it rains?”

“Depends. Feel like fighting off the mummified remains of long-gone priests?” says Dirk. You all take an unconscious step towards the centre of the chamber.

“There- there wouldn't really be undead monsters down there, right?” says John, staring at the tiled floor as if it might just bite him. “I mean, this is sanctified ground, isn't it?”

Dirk shrugs, one-shouldered. “Hey, don't get me wrong. I'm all for seeing what's down there; just want to get some rest first. Gotta be sharp to go dungeon delving.”

Jane's nose wrinkles. “Why would we want to go dungeon delving?” she asks.

“Sweet loot,” reply both the aasimar brothers, in unison.

Seeing Jane frown, Roxy pats her on the shoulder. “Aww, don't be sads,” she says. “They're totes messing with ya; ev'n if no-one's been here in, like, forevs, the ground is way sanctified until someone trashes it up. No undeads.”

“I would, however, be concerned about the possibility of other hostile entities that may have taken up residence in a sheltered environment with an abundance of food,” you add.

John tilts his head, quizzically. “Abundance of- oh!” He looks rather green, but you think you have made your point.

“I still think we should look,” he says. “We can be careful!”

You raise an eyebrow. “Not concerned about offending the gods? I wouldn't have thought you were the impious type, John.”

He grins. “Ah, but Rose, I have reason to believe that the divine owner of this Temple likes me! He won't mind if I take some stuff and share it with my friends!” He waves his hands towards the mural that covers the walls, wisps of faded blue and chipped white gathering around the circular chamber and assembling into a hooded figure that looms over your heads. For a moment, the painted Heir behind him, you are struck by an eerie similarity between John and the Storm Brother.

Then John is turning away and running towards the entrance to the catacombs. “Last one down there is a rotting mummy!”

When the stampede is done, you and Roxy are the only ones remaining. You cock your head at her.

“Not joining them?”

“Nope.” Your sister wanders back out to the caravan and you follow, watching as she starts to pull out camping equipment for six. “'S like, there's not gonna be anything dangerous down there, and they can totes handle it if there is. Or none of us can.” She shrugs again. “It's like, no big deal, right sis?”

“Right,” you say, and catch the bundle she tosses your way. You may as well get camp set up while your comrades chase around underground desecrating the tombs of the honoured dead. You'd care more if so many of your dreams lately hadn't involved the honoured dead trying to kill you; as it is, your main concern is giant rats, and those you know John and Jane are used to handling.

You can't stop yourself from frowning faintly as you contemplate your dreams, and unfortunately for your continued air of oracular mystique Roxy sees it. “Copper for 'em,” she says.

“Payment up front,” you retort, fully aware that she has no coin whatsoever about her person. Realising that she is outwitted, Roxy sticks her tongue out at you and flops back onto a pile of unsuspecting tents.

“So what d'you make of it?” she asks. You don't have to inquire as to what she means.

“Shouldn't I be the one asking you that?” Another question seems an appropriate response, and you shoo her off the tents and start dragging out the first canvas. “After all, you are the one who infiltrated a spy into my elite guard unit. One might almost suspect you were expecting something of this nature to occur.”

“Who, me?” Your sister smirks, and helps you by grabbing the opposite corner of the canvas. “Hmm, nope. Innocent as a little mousey over here!”

“If that is the same mouse that broke into the cellar and ate the grain stores, then I will believe you.” Poles prove to be a tricky business with just the two of you, and your dignity becomes the first casualty. You disregard the ridiculousness of your situation and put your debate on hold until the tent is standing upright, if somewhat precariously. “So, I assume your temple makes a habit of infiltrating the others.”

“That,” says Roxy, in a tone of pure smugness, “Is totes a rel'gous secret and I can't tell you.”

You nod in understanding. It's a difficult business sometimes, communicating with your sister. Her own idiosyncrasies aside, both of you are noteworthy members of religious institutions that frown upon revealing secrets to outsiders. In truth, you are less shocked that Roxy kept a secret from you than you are to hear her almost-admitting it now.

“Well, then, I should hardly need to inform you that I cannot share any details of the internal politics of the Church of Light with a non-initiate,” you say, rolling out a second tent. “In particular, I would not be commenting on the support the High Priest has garnered over the course of his career, or his less-than-pious 'hobbies'.”

Roxy gasps, a hand to her mouth in such an overblown gesture that you are almost tempted to slap it away again. “Neverrrr,” she says, eyes wide. “I am mega shocked and stuff!”

“Indeed.” You decide to get the poles first this time, since there is no avoiding the tedious things. “Obviously, without any of the necessary background information that I am unable to divulge, you will have no grounds on which to conclude that the High Priest is rather used to leveraging my divinely-granted talents for his own gain, in political, social and financial fields. To suggest that the Oracle of Light is anything less than the absolute power within the Seer's Church would be borderline heresy, even if one were to examine the relative power dynamics of a young woman and the significantly older man who has been responsible for the majority of her upbringing and opportunities for interaction with the world.”

Roxy nods, helping you get the second tent all straightened up. “Seems like that Oracle's gotta be all kinds of smart,” she said. “And maybe have some allies in places she wasn't expecting. Not that I'd know anything about any kindsa accidents or schedule changes or weird stuff happening that might mess up some old wrinklebrain's evil sneaky plots and let you do stuff you want instead.”

You manage to hide the wave of gratitude that comes over you as you recall many, many such incidents- inexplicable good fortune, at the time, but who better to hide from the Light than the Unseen Goddess?

“I am sure such allies would be appreciated,” you say, voice a little choked. “And that they would be equally unappreciated by the aforementioned wrinkly old coot, who to my mind must have some serious control issues, possibly stemming from an unhealthy relationship with his father.”

Roxy giggles. “Yeah, totes! Like, not enough hugs, way much!”

“Hugs are only the beginning,” you say darkly. “Clearly we are contemplating an individual who is quite literally willing to risk the world rather than give up a single iota of control over what he perceives as his domain; such a mind would naturally respond very poorly to defiance, particularly from a direction he had not previously considered a threat. Certainly poorly enough to dispatch assassins, even if such a move was not in his own best interests. I would not expect an overwhelming quantity of rational behaviour to follow.”

Roxy nods sagely, dragging the third tent out. “So what happens next?”

“The same as we already planned,” you tell her. “The further we get from Porthaven, the more convinced I am that we are on the correct course. It is almost as if leaving the temple has cleared my vision; my dreams have been becoming clearer and more frequent.” You frown, holding up a flap of heavy cloth as she crawls under it with a pole. “Of course, that could merely be a sign of urgency from the Seer.”

Roxy shouts something back, but it's muffled by the cloth. “I beg your pardon?” you ask, and her head pops out and tilts up at you, Frigglish right underneath.

“I said, what if it was the High Priest messin' with you that meant you didn’t get the visions until now?” she asks.

An unpleasant shiver runs up your spine. “You don't think that's a little paranoid?”

“Do you?” Roxy vanishes back under the tent, leaving you to think on her words. You are forced to admit she has a point; visions from the Goddess would be inconvenient to his agenda, and if the Church has ways to open your inner eye it just as surely has the means to close it. You can't even fairly think of it as being too cautious, given how unequivocally your life has proven to be full of deception and danger.

Blast it all.

Setting up camp doesn’t take long- everything you need is only a short distance away in the caravan, and if it weren’t for the missing roof the Temple would have made adequate shelter in and of itself. Roxy gets the fire going while you dig out some food; you’re certainly not the cook that Jane is, but you like to think you have at least gathered the basic principles of making something hot and edible. Ignoring Roxy’s so-called helpful advice you manage to get a pot of something presumably nutritious bubbling away, then pull out your dream journal and begin to seriously examine the contents.

It doesn’t take long for you to start seeing patterns beyond the obvious and lingering effects of your visions. Over the previous few nights, it seems you have repeatedly encountered the same two entities, and had conversations that you have remained sadly unable to recall in detail. Emissaries of your Goddess, perhaps? In your dreams, you seem to know them well enough, although it is unfortunate that the one who seems better informed is less able to communicate his knowledge- and he is a _he,_ of that you are quite certain if nothing else. You tap your lip thoughtfully, considering Morphean’s Treatise On The Mindscape and the ancient mage’s exercises in developing the practise of lucid dreaming. You learned the steps without the need to try it before- the incenses available to you as Oracle rendered such techniques redundant- but now you suspect that such a venture may prove favourable to your goals…

Your contemplations are interrupted when something brushes unexpectedly against your leg. Startled, you yelp and drop the journal; there is a clatter and a yowl, and then Roxy lets out a stricken wail.

“FIRGGILISH!”

You look down at your book, now lying atop the still cat, and hold a hand to your mouth. “Oh, dear.”

“FRIGGLY!” Roxy cries, shoving you aside in her rush to reach her precious familiar. “Frillgee, babbu, nonono don’t be squishded, Momma’s sorry…”

To your undying relief, the cat blinks and stands up, the book sliding off its spine in a rustle of papers. You snatch it up, feeling rather foolish for assuming the worst when dealing with such a small book and such a resilient feline. Honestly, though, what kind of cat lies down when something drops on it?

You suspect it has something to do with not being named something sensible, like Jaspers. Like wizard, like familiar.

Your sister retrieves the unfortunately-named Frigglish and retreats to the other side of the fire, petting his fur and cooing over him. Jasp- Frigglish takes this like a champion, resting his neat little paws up on her shoulder and purring as her fingers scratch the soft spot behind his ears. Roxy settles down, still pale and muttering, and one-handed retrieves the flask from her hip and takes a deep swig.

“I thought you were supposed to be breaking that habit,” you say. Roxy glares at you.

“Shut up, you- kitty-book-dropping murdururer.” She sniffs, turning her face towards Frigglish. “Duz the mean lady not trust Momma after nearly squishing Friggles?” she asks in a sing-song voice. You sigh and return your attention to the pot, and are subsequently surprised a moment later when Roxy’s flask is thrust under your nose.

“Here,” she says, and you are so surprised that you actually take the container.

“Why…?”

“’Cos you need a drink,” says Roxy, shuffling back over to her side of the fire. “And I mega don’t. I just hit my limit for today, and usually Dirk takes that off me then, only he’s all busy catacombing so you can have it instead.” She grins at you. “Now you can have some and stop worrying about the High Priest and the end of the world and all that stuff.”

You contemplate the hip flask, and follow up your contemplations with a brief sniff. The stuff inside smells strong, but not so much as you were expecting. You wonder if Dirk’s been watering it. Then you wonder if Roxy has been.

Drinking is possibly not the cleverest idea, given that you are camping out in an abandoned building in a suspiciously empty town on the edge of the Orc Lands and might need to defend yourself at any time. Then again, Roxy is alert enough, and you're planning to camp here. Something to take the edge off your nerves can't hurt. You take a swig and breath in with the burn of alcohol sinking to your belly.

“Thass it, drink up,” says Roxy. You pause and peer at her over the flask.

“Anyone would think you were trying to get me drunk,” you say. She grins at you, rolling over onto her front.

“Pfft, well, yeah,” she says. “Maybe then we can talk about something fun.”

“Something fun,” you echo, taking another swig.

Roxy nods. “Yeah, like when we were kids and we used to make up all the wizard stories.”

You smirk at the memory. “Ah, yes. I always wondered what potential connection could be drawn between your choice to learn magic and your early fascination with... wizardly activities.”

“Our fascination.” Roxy rolls over, staring up at the stars overhead. “Used to talk about it alla time, remember? Then you became all- Oracly.”

“Oracular,” you correct, and drink a little more from the flask. “I suppose, in the interests of reviving old camaraderie and relaxation, I could be persuaded to indulge in a little fantastical speculation once again.”

Your sister's face lights up and she punches the air. “Yesss!” Scrambling over to you, she plonks Frigglish down between you. “Now,” she says, entirely solemn, “who do you want to ship first?”

The ensuing conversation becomes increasingly fascinating, and you don’t immediately notice the return of the rest of your party absorbed as you are in debating with Roxy the mechanics of homosexual wizard sex- specifically, whether or not the Grease spell is an acceptable substitute for genital lubrication. It is not until you are concluding your final and indisputable point that the duration on the effect is not going to be long enough to spare poor Wizardy Herbert’s anus from the loving arousal of Zazzerpan that you observe your newly acquired and clearly astonished audience.

Glad that your friends have returned, you raise the nearly-empty flask to them in salute and slur out a greeting. You garner two blank stares, one hesitant wave and a face-palm in response.

“Oh, for goodness’ sake,” mutters Jane, and then she marches over and takes the alcohol off you.

“Hey! I w’z- I w’z drunking thit!” you tell her, and fall over in a futile attempt at retrieval.

“I think you’ve had quite enough,” she says. “My parents own an inn, missy, and I know when to cut a boisterious adventurer off from the booze!”

Your muzzy brain cannot find a flaw in this logic, so you respond in a mature and grown-up fashion by sticking your tongue out at her. People plop down around you, and you catch a whiff of dust and metal in the air; your head lolls around until you are staring up at John. His hair is pale with bonedust and his face is covered in dark smuts over a glowing, triumphant smile; part of you notes Roxy’s jaw falling open, and wonders what it is that she sees that you don’t. Not that you think John is unattractive- in fact, he may even look better a little messed up from scrambling about and being active- but you don’t seem to feel it the same way your sister does. In her loins.

You giggle because you just thought the word “loins”. Everyone gives you weird looks, which makes you giggle more.

“So did you gets some sweet loot?” Roxy asks, and John nods enthusiastically, dust scattering from his hair.

“Sure did!” he said. “I mean, once we were done trying to spook each other with dancing skeletons and jumping out from shadows and stuff.”

“Found some old dead guy on a fancy plinth,” said Dave. “Was kinda disappointed he didn’t spring to life, actually, but anyway we figured that since we’d desecrated every other grave on the way down there-“

“We did not!” Jane protests.

“We kinda did,” John replies. Jane huffs.

“Well, it’s not like they were _using_ any of it,” she says, settling down by the pot and taking over dinner, ready to dish it out. “And you squealed like a piglet when I dropped that hand on you!”

Roxy shudders. You laugh.

“But yeah, we found some stuff that Dirk says might be magic!” says John, beaming. “And the armour fits me and Jane can have the shield, and we found some other stuff in another alcove that you might like, Rose!”

He dumps a bundle of cloth in front of you and you silently vow to examine it more carefully once the room stops tipping from side to side.

“It’s actually weird as shit,” says Dirk. “There’s no sign of hostile magic, theft, anything. I have no idea what happened here.” You can’t see his face clearly behind his mask, but you’re certain he’s frowning; it’s what you do, when your voice sounds so thoughtful.

“I bet it was orcs,” says John. “We’re in orc territory, it’s got to be.”

“But, woun’t orcs wanna take things-es?” you say, face furrowed in concentration as you try to make the words come out right past a tongue that is apparently made from a large fluffy pillow.

“Maybe, but maybe not!” John sketches an arc in the air with his hands. “There’s all kinds of stories about the Orc Lands. They’re meant to be really dangerous! I heard they keep the heads of their victims to show how many people they've killed!”

Dirk nods solemnly. “I can verify that these tales are all one-hundred percent bona fide truth,” he says. “They come in the dead of night, when you’re sleeping and defenceless. The ones they don’t kill are taken deep into the heart of their lands and sacrificed to their bloodthirsty gods in unspeakable tortures, and the most unfortunate of their victims suffer a fate worse than death.” He pauses, turning his head to give each of you a solemn look. “They sing lullabies to them.”

You are all briefly silent in shock, then Roxy laughs and punches him in the arm. “Ohmygosh, you totally just punk’d us! Prankster!”

Dirk tilts his head. “Verbal humour and ironic mastery are not pranks. Besides, who's the fucking expert on Orc lullabies around here?”

“Give it up, bro, too subtle for this crowd,” says Dave. “I mean, we all know John will believe any crap you feed him-“

“Hey!”

“-but I would’ve expected a trained Investigator of the Watch to sniff out this crap-pile. C’mon, Janey, you’re breaking my heart here with your lack of olfactory detection. Believing all the lies ‘cos you can’t sniff out deception…”

Jane shoves one hand into Dave’s face, effectively shutting him up, then keeps him silenced by offering a bowl of food with the other hand. “Not all of us believe any old piffle,” she says, dryly. “Although I am given to understand that the Orc Lands are not an advisable destination for the unprepared.”

“Yeah, you could say that,” says Dirk. “Honestly? It’s generally not too bad around the outskirts, particularly near settlements. The more peaceful tribes got some sicknasty lovin’ of trade agreements, so they tend to brotect their partners and keep their shit locked down tight. Nomadic themselves, mostly, so they don’t give a shit about a small group passing through so long as you don’t fuck up their day. They’d get pissy if we were missionaries, but we ain’t here for that.” He leans forward, and from your position lolling on the ground you see everyone else mirror him; Jane even pauses in handing out the food bowls. “We, on the other hand, are headed full-sail tilting gallop towards the middle of this hellfucked wasteland, and according to all reliable sources the clans who hang out there are shitballs loopy, friendly as a porcupine with crabs, or both. They don’t like visitors, except possibly as slaves or a food source.”

You all consider this with a certain trepidation that lasts until Jane shakes herself and passes a bowl to Roxy, sat next to her.

“We should eat,” she says, filling another bowl. You watch as they are passed over your head, nobody trusting you to hold one steady in your state, and Dirk places the last one down beside you. You are just rolling over to start eating when John starts to splutter and spit his food back out. You look at him in alarm, concerned that you may have inadvertently poisoned your friend, but he glares past you at Jane.

“Did you seriously- bleurgh- did you dump a load of pepper in my food?”

You’re expecting triumphant smirking, but Jane looks genuinely surprised. “I most certainly did not!”

John splutters a little more and sets the bowl down carefully. “Well, who did, then?”

Jane waves an arm around your circle. “Good golly, John, how should I know? Take your pick of all these fine pranksters!”

“Yeah, right! I’ll get you back for this!”

“Get me back for nothing, you nincompoop…”

From your vantage point on the floor, you see Dirk pushing a small canister back into the folds of his belt, and chuckle softly. He looks down and sees you watching; rather than say anything and interrupt the arguing siblings, he gives you an infinitesimal sliver of a nod, then goes back to his own food.

Approximately thirty seconds later, Dave lets out a terrified yell and falls over backwards. You all look around wildly for whatever startled him, and off in the darkness you see the glint of a pair of gleaming blue eyes.

“SHITTING HELL, BRO!” shouts Dave, half-hidden behind Jane. “The fuck? Why did you even keep that thing?”

Slowly, Dirk pulls out the blue-eyed doll he rescued from the crater back in the forest. “You mean this thing?”

The pit of your stomach goes cold; you stare along with everyone else as Dirk gets to his feet and walks over to the gleaming, artificial eyes in the darkness and picks something up. He comes back towards the fire cradling a bizarre puppet, its face fixed in a frozen toothy grin. He's looking at it like it's his baby; Dave shuffles further behind Jane, and tries to look like he isn't. You take another swig from the flask.

“What is that thing?” demands Jane, her nose wrinkled up in distaste. You can hardly blame her. It's an ugly puppet. “How did it get here?”

“This?” says Dirk absently, examining the thing with every sign of affection. “This is Li'l Cal. Li'l Cal is the shit.”

Everyone who isn't Dirk or Dave exchanges glances. Even through a drunken haze, you can tell that something is seriously amiss here. Something in your brain presses for meaning, trying to fish out a vague memory that sparks at the name “Cal”.

“We should go,” says Dave abruptly. “Get the fuck out of here, yesterday.”

“Why-” John starts to ask, and then the door explodes inwards.

You all scramble to your feet and grab for weapons, but they come pouring into the Temple like a green-skinned flood; in moments you are surrounded, standing in a circle with your backs to the fire and your faces turned out to the horde of orcs, hide-clad and jeering.

The crowd ahead of you parts, and a large orc walks through. He's easily over seven feet tall and has tusks as long as your hand; his face is painted white into a menacing skull. His eyes rake over you all, and then he smiles.

“Well, boys,” he says, over the rumble of his followers. “Looks like we just struck it lucky!”

You are aware of the others fighting back, but they don't stand much of a chance as surrounded as you are. You're too drunk and floppy to put up much resistance as you are grabbed and your hands tied behind your back. The last thing that registers as they tie you up one-by-one is that you can't see the blue-eyed puppet anywhere, and then everything goes dark.

### Suggestions Used

_Evi - Can Town: Be an orderly, civil, democratic, society and also an abandoned ruin full of useful supplies for our adventurers._

__Chaosisorder - Everyone: do something silly and not plote related_ _

___ttd0000 - Any Group: Is that a dungeon crawl? Why don't you stop, grind for loot and xp?_ _ _

____1JakoftheMoon1 - Rose: Detail why the clergy is intent on chasing you, then pick apart their reasons for doing so._ _ _ _

_____ttd0000 - Rose: Your visions have been growing in power since you left Porthaven. Is this the natural adventurer growthspurt, or is it possible the temple was... suppressing you for some reason?! DUN DUN DUUUUHHH!_ _ _ _ _

______ttd0000 - Rose: Spies are everywhere. It's not paranoia if they are out to get you._ _ _ _ _ _

_______JakefromStateFarm - Rose: Drop dream-diary on Jasp...Frigglish._ _ _ _ _ _ _

________JakefromStateFarm - Roxy: Wail over the crushed body of your familiar._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________JakefromStateFarm - Frigglish: Don't be crushed at all. The book wasn't that big._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________tempestousCoryphee - Roxy: Give Frigglish a good petting to relieve your own stress. End up talking to him about it, then end up with idea._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________LostSock - Rose: Weigh pros and cons of having a drink with Roxy to calm your nerves._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Craft - Rose: Briefly be suspicious of Roxy drugging you again. Voice this._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________ttd0000 - Rose: Collaborate on wizard porn with Roxy like you haven't done in years, what with getting serious about being an Oracle and the whole apocalypse. It's important to decompress now and then._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Craft - Everyone: Contemplate high Rose. Be entirely on the mark._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______________Docdoki - John: Get dirtier/cleaned, end up looking handsomer than ever_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________Darwin G'wein - (select members of?) Old Porthaven Group: Start remembering all the horrible stories you've heard about orcs, completely against your better judgement._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________________Chippy - Dirk: Resist the urge to join the prank war. Optional: fail miserably to resist the aforementioned urge._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________Darwin G'wein - Dirk: Assert strongly that your sometimes deadpan humor does not qualify as pranking. Fight off the prank war induction by setting your friends against each other instead. (Do the Heart-y thing!)_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________________1JakoftheMoon1 - Lil Cal: HI DAVE!!!!!_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________1JakoftheMoon1 - Lil Cal: Trolololololololololol bro. (I have no idea what this entails aside from the obvious)_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________________nanrea - Dave and Dirk: See lil Cal and have completely opposite reactions_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________Slyjinks - Dirk: Realize something you've known all along_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not sure how well this chapter came out. :/ When I ain't in the right frame of mind, Dirk and Dave are ridonkulously difficult to write! *sighs* I guess a two-week schedule doesn't fix everything after all!
> 
> Mostly at this point I'm trying to prod this group into doing something as interesting as what the other two groups get up to, but it's proving surprisingly hard! If anyone has any good dramatic suggestions for them, they'd be appreciated greatly. :)


	78. ==> Karkat: Learn Interesting Things From The Assholes You Are Associating With

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Hero point votes:**  
>  Terezi 1  
> Jake 1
> 
>  **Current Hero Points:**  
>  John 3/5, Rose 3/5, Dave 2/3, Jade 2/3  
>  **Karkat 5/5, Gamzee 3/3,** Terezi 3/5  
>  **Sollux 3/3,** Aradia 2/3, Kanaya 4/5  
>  Jane 2/5, Jake 3/5, **Roxy 3/3,** Dirk 2/3
> 
> WARNING: INSTANCES OF DROW!GAMZEE. AGAIN.

## ==> Karkat: Learn Interesting Things From The Assholes You Are Associating With

You wake up wrapped tight in something cold and bony, and sigh.

“Gamzee,” you say, because cold-and-bony-asshole has a name and that name is your eternal suffering. “Wake up, you painted shitlord. If I piss in my bedroll because you were hanging onto me like the world’s heaviest limpet while my bladder was threatening to explode I am going to rub your godsdamn nose in the wet patch.”

He makes a grumbling noise and buries his face a little closer to your collarbone; you can’t tell by feel if his eyes opened or not, but he’s been waking you up like this for almost two weeks straight now and you are _certain_ he’s conscious. Unfortunately, so are you, and now that you are you can feel the way that the hands locked around your waist are clenched against the trembling in his arms.

 _Fuck._ You don’t mean to be an insensitive shithead, you really don’t, but it takes you too long to come round in the mornings to be anything but. You pointedly ignore your bladder and reach out to wrap the arm you’re not lying on over his hands. They’re even colder than the rest of him; it’s like touching snowmelt, of which you have encountered plenty in recent days. There’s a small gasp behind you when your fingers close over his, and yeah, there’s no way he’s asleep because it’s followed by another, and another, and _shitshitshit_ Gamzee is quietly crying into your neck.

“Hey, hey, shh,” you say, wriggling around to try and face him. He loosens his grip exactly as much as he has to in order for you to turn, and then latches on again when you wrap your arms around him. He’s bigger than you, but he folds, and what you can’t cover with your arms and your legs and your chin is fixed by tugging the blanket up until it’s just over his jawline. His nose digs awkwardly into your breastbone and there are tears soaking into your shirt and he starts to babble, incoherent jabber that might once have been words but now is just shy of animal noises. It’s a bad morning.

You stroke his hair, smoothing it carefully down again and again, just like you did when your Mom died- and how fucking stupid is that, that you had to comfort _him_ when you were the one who’d just lost his only relative? Some days you could swear you hate him, but never as much as you hate yourself for all the different kinds of fucked-up you are.

You’re glad that you’re not losing him to Myoc, at least, and the thought makes you feel nauseous.

“It’s going to be okay,” you tell him, and try not to think about how long it’s been. You’ve never seen someone kick a Pesh habit before. You’ve seen a couple try, but the attempt was usually fatal. This should work- Gamzee has food and fluids and warmth and a divine healer within screaming distance- but you’re still terrified, deep down, because you were certain he’d be better by now and he’s not.

His crying drops off somewhat, although he’s still shaking against you. “M-motherfuckin’, in my head, brother,” he mumbles. “In-in my head, all up and them, all the motherfuckin’, the colours, in my brainpan.”

He’s sweating when you rub his brow, and he presses into your hand like it’s holding salvation, or maybe like an affectionate cat. It’s a good thing you don’t have any drugs for him because if you did you would have fed them to him days ago.

“It’s going to be okay,” you say again, and this time you’re talking more to yourself. You press a kiss between his eyebrows and he shivers.

“Fuck you,” he growls. Purple eyes squint up at you, lidded with something you can’t read, and you almost pull back. Then his eyes drop and his hands wrap into your shirt and haul you closer. “Please, best friend, I gotta- you gotta give me somethin’, make it stop hurtin’, I’ll do whatever, I’ll fuck you, jus’ make it stop.”

You manage to hold it together long enough to shove a hand in his face, get out a clear, crisp and entirely non-squeaky “No!”, slip out of his arms and run into the rising light of dawn before you do something truly stupid like hit him or burst into tears. As you stand there, leaning against the farmhouse with your cheeks burning, you try to tell yourself that at least that asshole Sollux isn’t here to take the piss out of you for failing utterly to deal with your stupid, shitty, withdrawal-wracked asshat of a soul-brother. As reassurances go, it doesn’t work, because mostly all it does is make you miss Sollux.

It’s stupid and dumb and pathetic, but in a way Sollux was the first friend you’ve had since you were a hatchling. Gamzee doesn’t count because, well, Gamzee, and Terezi and Jake were more alliances than anything else. Maybe they could be friends at some point, but there wasn’t the same rapport there that you had with Sollux, and now you miss it like a gaping, rotten hole where there ought to be a tooth. With a groan, you slump back against the wall and close your eyes.

“Tired already, Karkles?”

Think of the ancient soulless hellspawn from beneath the deepest pits of the earth, and she shall appear. You crack one eye open, keeping the other closed as a precaution against the accursed dayball, and scowl at Terezi. “Gamzee’s feeling shitty again.”

She shrugs. “And? You must have known this would be an inevitable result of running.” She gestures to the mountain slopes around you. “Unless you would consider this an ideal Pesh-growing environment.”

You close your eye again. “Yes, because the local ecology of a place I’ve never fucking seen and can’t imagine is definitely my first thought when fleeing from a lifetime of crushing pointlessness and despair.” When she says nothing, you add: “I figured it was something we could deal with once we were away, and safe.”

“Then I have good news for you,” says Terezi, and you crack your eyes open just enough to see her grin toothily at you. “You are away, and safe, and dealing with it.”

“He just offered to fuck me for drugs and then I ran away. On what plane of existence is that _dealing with it?”_

“The one where this was never going to be easy,” says Terezi, and she’s solemn again, the way she goes. You take a deep breath and almost choke on the nearby smell of animal shit. Your nostrils are getting spoiled, living on the surface with all this clean air and lack of people herded together like beasts in a slaughterpen.

“I have no fucking clue what I’m doing,” you say, and somehow you think she knows you’re not just talking about Gamzee. A hand wraps around your arm and tugs gently.

“Come on,” says Terezi. “Let’s see if you can beat me today.”

“But Gamzee…”

“Can join us if he’s willing to make the effort. If he’s not, then that’s no reason for you to spend such a beautiful day locked indoors!”

“Beautiful my well-fed ass,” you grumble, but you let her lead you out to the yard where the chickens squawk in their usual brainless alarm at your presence. You stop by the yard entrance, waiting for her to walk a few more steps before you draw your sickles and ready for her to turn.

As usual she attacks as she draws, a lunge just slow enough for you to avoid, and the two of you fall back into what is becoming a familiar pattern. You alarmed a few people at first by sparring with live blades, but it never occurred to either of you to do things differently.

“Frustrated today, Cherry Pie?” Terezi dances aside from your swing and ripostes with a jab that fails to even brush your armour.

“Well, fuck, I wonder why I’d feel that way,” you snap, chasing her down with a one-two slash that she barely blocks, metal ringing on metal. “It’s not like we’re stuck out here in the ass-end of hell-scorched nowhere where everyone hates us-”

“They don’t all hate us,” says Terezi.

“They greeted us with a fucking mob.”

“And the apology for that was very nice.” She grins and you hiss as her blade taps against your armour. “The Blacksmith even brought us cake.”

“Trust you to be swayed by something edible,” you say, catching her leg with your sickle and knocking her down. She flips back up easily and you let her, not inclined to turn your sparring into an undignified ground-wrestling match. “His eye was twitching the whole time. If we didn’t have what amounts to two full adventuring parties up here that fuckwit would have tried to slit our throats in the night already.”

Terezi grins. “Well, yes,” she agrees. “But if I was going to judge people for that, I would never have made any friends at all!”

You grunt and swing both sickles up to block her strike. “Your Temple upbringing sucks,” you tell her. “At least when I knew people who would slit my throat in my sleep I was allowed to stab them first.”

“Allowed is a strong word,” Terezi replies. “And besides, don’t tell me you wouldn’t have killed me in my sleep given half a chance.”

 _Wait, what?_ The revelation that Terezi considers you a friend freezes you onto the spot for a good four or five seconds, which is more than time enough for her to tackle you to the ground and press her sword to your throat.

“Stay alert, Karkles,” she cautions, stepping back and holding out a hand. “I’d hate to lose people I actually like through slips of attention.”

You grab her hand, and when she tries to haul you up you haul back, dragging her to tumble down next to you. You take advantage of her momentary disorientation to pin her.

“Why?” you ask, and when she blinks up at you in confusion you clarify. “Why do you trust me now?”

“Because you don’t want to hurt me,” she says, and grins when you snarl. “Or anyone, actually. You’ll do it if you have to, but you don’t want to, and I don’t intend to give you reason to cause me harm.”

A little surprised, you sit back on your haunches and let her wriggle out to sit up. “That’s it? No beetleshit about our marks or how you’re such a badass that I couldn’t even get near you?”

“Well, it doesn’t hurt that I am and you couldn’t,” she says, with a little toss of her head that’s just plain maddening. “But it’s more important that you wouldn’t. And as for the marks…” She reaches out and wraps her hand around your wrist, pressing on the mark you can’t see and meeting your eyes in perfect solemnity. “Karkat, whatever this is, whatever we are, it’s important. I have spent my whole life studying the gods and things like this don’t just happen without a plan behind them; when we found you again and you’d met more marked people, it only made me more certain. But no matter how important it is, no matter what the heavens have ordained, no matter what fate decrees, I decide who I like and who I trust.” She glares. “Not the Seer of Mind. Not the Knight of Blood. Me.”

You can’t think of anything to say to that. You want to lead with _thank you,_ or _you’re bugfucked insane,_ or _I like you too, sort of, for a crazy Lawkeeper bluebelly,_ but all of those seem pretty fucking stupid in context. Before you can assemble something that doesn’t sound inane or like egregious assholery, you are interrupted by the person you least want to see.

“The writings of our Lord tell us that events such as these are not only signs of great importance, but warnings of dire peril ahead.” You put some serious consideration into running the fuck away, but Dyffyd is already too close. You groan as he bows down in front of you- literally, he’s on his knees and he’s practically shoving his face in the godsdamn mud.

“Great One,” he says, and you slap a hand into your face in an attempt to not throttle him- or Terezi, who’s snickering behind you like the treacherous backstabbing bitch she is. “The mark you bear has always been worn by the agents of strife and change, and that you are not alone whispers that soon a great battle for the souls of all mortals shall be fought. When that battle comes, we shall be at your side.”

Terezi’s snickering becomes more of a cackle, and you see red. Dyffyd twitches as you reach out and haul him upright by the collar; it’s ridiculous, a hastily supressed instinct to knock you away for manhandling him, and you give him your most furious glare as you drag his face down to less than an inch from your own.

“Enough,” you tell him, and you can feel the small tics of rage on your face. “E-fucking-nough. Don’t get me wrong, this was fucking great at first, because really what Shanty kid doesn’t want to be treated like a motherfucking _god,_ but we are now officially past the point where this ridiculous masquerade is anything but a taintchafing infection upon the malformed genitalia of my life. I am honestly expecting to take a shit one day and find one of you fanatical fuckers waiting for me in the privy hole, looking up at my well-kissed ass with a creepy grin. You unnerve me more than Gamzee’s mother or that Drider that seemed to think she was a relative of mine, and I can’t get five fucking seconds to myself around here without one of you shitheads blustering in and- and _worshipping_ me! And it’s not fucking funny, Terezi!”

She responds by howling with more laughter. Dyffyd at least seems to be taking your explosion with the seriousness it warrants.

“Great One,” he says, with a solemnity that belongs in a Temple directed at a vague concept, not in a farmyard directed at you. “I can assure you, nobody is planning to ambush you in the privy.”

You let out a small bark of laughter of your own and let go of his collar. He straightens; you can’t help but appreciate the way he takes a step back and ducks his head so as to not tower over you, but it still feels wrong. “Spiderfucking spellwarps, that would be hilarious if you weren’t serious.” You rub your hands over your face. “See, this is exactly what I mean. It’s like someone removed your entire personality and replaced it with _kiss Karkat’s ass,_ which I know isn’t true exactly but it’s what I’ve been seeing ever since you found out, and… look, I’m not a God, okay? If I was, my life would have involved a shit-ton more smiting and righteous fury, and a shit-ton less humiliation and poverty.”

Dyffyd actually looks a little concerned. “We revere you as Chosen by our God, not for being him…”

“It doesn’t matter!” You throw your hands up in the air. “Either way, I’m not worth revering! I don’t have enough answers for myself, let alone an entire holy order of lunatics! I don’t want you to follow me around and I don’t want you to treat me like I’m your Matriarch and I really, really don’t want you to promise to fight gods with me because I do stupid things and it’s not worth anyone getting killed over my idiotic decisions!”

You stop shouting, and everything seems very quiet. For a moment you think that you’ve broken Dyffyd; you want to apologise, want to say that you didn’t mean it, but you did and fuck backing down. Then he smiles, and it’s a real smile, not the weird blissed-out one that means he’s getting off on religion again.

“If I decide to fight a god, I can assure you, it will be my own idiotic decision,” he says. You stare at him dumbly, and he chuckles, strolling over to a nearby hay bale and sitting on it. “I’m sorry,” he says. “It appears that in my devotion to my God, I forgot one of his first lessons and acted like an assbutt.”

“What lesson would that be?” asks Terezi, while you keep a safe bolting distance from the cleric.

Dyffyd looks at you to answer. “You’re a person, the same as everyone else, and I should judge you on who you are rather than who I think you should be.” He looks back to Terezi. “The original text words it a little more strongly, of course.” He smiles. “I can see why he chose Karkat.”

“What, has he got a thing for assholes?” you ask. You meant to be sarcastic, but Dyffyd nods.

“You could say that,” he says. “Although a better way to put it would be that he appreciates brutal emotional honesty. But more than that, you’re someone who’s seen suffering and struggled with it; the Knight often favours outcasts and the determined.”

“I don’t feel particularly favoured,” you grumble. Terezi claps a hand on your back.

“Gods move in mysterious ways,” she says, and you could swear that her smile is sympathetic rather than mocking. “They don’t give us what we want, Karkles. They give us what they think we need.”

“Right,” you say, voice flat to cover the rage. “Because I needed all the shit that’s happened to me in my life.”

“The Knight is the God Who Endures,” says Dyffyd, and you could swear the cocksniffer is smirking at you. “He doesn’t hand out suffering, or save people from it. He gives you what you need to survive it and come out stronger, and I’d say His mark is clear on you in more ways than one.”

You thought you were angry before but now you are cold with fury, hands clenched into tight fists. “And what about the others?” you hear yourself saying, your voice sounding distant from yourself. “What about all the people who don’t fucking survive the soul-shredding pit of anal discharge that they land in? Where is he for them? Could it be that maybe, just maybe, he got his shitty reputation for a _good fucking reason?”_

“The Gods can’t save everyone,” says Dyffyd, and you’re lucid enough to hear the genuine regret in his voice- just. “And the Knight moreso than most. Once, his Church was powerful enough that it could reach outwards, make a real difference, but…”

You narrow your eyes at him, still not convinced that he’s not laughing at you. “But what?”

“Churches create riches,” said Dyffyd. “And priests who have not had to struggle for what they have. They were not true servants of the Knight and they became more concerned with their own power than with His work. The Church turned to poison.” He shakes his head. “The Last True Prophet of the Knight of Blood led a crusade that destroyed the Church and burned it to ash; those who were left vowed to never again open the way to such corruption. The nature of our Order now, combined with the terrible scar left by the Reckoning, has left us unable to cast our nets as wide as we once did and has led to widespread mistrust.”

You consider this. “Your god is a fucking idiot,” you tell him. Terezi chuckles.

“Our god,” he points out, unfazed.

“Still a fucking idiot.” You huff and fold your arms. “If he had any sense, he would have told his prophet to take over the Church, not destroy it. Then maybe we wouldn’t be relying on the spiderfucking Sylphites to provide alms and look after orphans and cuddle little injured baby puppies.” You turn towards the dark door of the farmhouse and raise your voice slightly, addressing the shadow just inside who probably hopes you haven’t spotted her. Like you’d miss someone lurking in a dark corner watching you- you’d have to be half-dead already and probably not even then. “You fucking suck at it.”

Kanaya steps out into the sunlight as if it were what she meant to do all along. “I will confess that my Order has often failed in its duties of care,” she said. “As thoroughly as Terezi’s has in its pursuit of justice. It is almost as if Cleric Dyffyd were correct in stating that power corrupts and that the great Churches are rarely compelled to comply with the will of the Deity they supposedly revere.”

“Yeah, fuck you,” you grumble, feeling put out. In the Shanties, the Sylphites were a serious bone of contention. Everyone agreed about the Lawkeepers and the Seer, they were the enemy and no shitting about, but the Sylphites were supposed to help and sometimes they did. It was shoddy, haphazard help that rarely actually achieved jack shit and sometimes turned out to be a trap that resulted in your children vanishing to the alchemists and your friends being dragged to the gallows, but some people thought that any help made the helpers saints with the soothing darkness of the Final Havens residing up their assholes. You always thought that it made them worse than the Lawkeepers, but you never made a point of murdering healers like some people did. Too much of a sappy hopeful romantic, you suppose.

“I do owe you an apology,” says Kanaya, and out of sheer surprise you almost fall over.

Terezi’s grin grows. “You see it, then?” she asks. Kanaya nods primly.

“Yes,” she says, then turns back to you. “Karkat, I misjudged you,” she says. You stare back into her eyes, jade green and hypnotic. “I thought you were crude, violent, and impulsive, and while I was correct in this assessment-”

“Wow, thanks, great fucking apology!”

She purses her lips briefly and continues. “While I was correct in my assessment, I now recognise that you are an individual who cares deeply for the wellbeing of others, possessed of a dexterous intellect.”

You study her carefully, looking for any sign that she is mocking you, before you extend a cautious; “Damn fucking right I am.”

Kanaya flushes and Terezi laughs, slinging one arm around her shoulder and the other around yours. “I would say that we should celebrate,” she says. “But we have company.”

You’re about to ask what she means when she nods down the hill, and you follow her gesture to see a carriage rumbling up the road. It’s not nearly so lavish as the sort of thing the Matriarchs travel in, but you know enough about fancy filigree to tell that the owner has money and your hackles immediately rise.

Seeing the carriage, Dyffyd jumps to his feet. “They’re here!” He turns to the three of you, running a hand through his hair distractedly. “Can you fetch Gamzee? I need to find the others.”

“Who is it?” asks Kanaya.

Dyffyd doesn’t even turn from running out of the yard. “Our employer!” he yells back.

You’d really prefer more information than that, but he’s already gone and you suspect you’ve exhausted his helpfulness quota for today anyway. You briefly consider leaving Gamzee to rest, then realise that if the shit does hit the fan you would rather he was close by.

“Help me get the clown?” you ask Terezi. She nods. You wish she’d stop grinning, it’s freakish.

Luckily for the sanity of all involved, Gamzee is asleep when you find him and wakes up more mellow than he was earlier. The two of you still have to manhandle him out of the outbuilding you’ve been sleeping in, and you end up supporting most of his weight as he drapes over you and mumbles about his dreams in your ear. You could quite happily have lived a long and fulfilling life without ever hearing any of that, but you bite your lip and help him limp along. Outside he switches to rhapsodic praises of the “motherfucking beautiful day-ball as what is all getting its radiance on”, which is almost worse.

Kanaya finds you as you stumble through the yard and leads you to the rest of your group. You have to blink a few times before you can believe what you’re seeing. The adventurers are all sitting on a patchwork of blankets laid out on the grass next to the now-stopped carriage; the horses that pulled it have been released to eat grass and make friends with the sheep and goats that are wandering around the place, and the two occupants of the carriage are settled next to your adventuring friends pulling food out of a wicker hamper.

One of them, a small and pale woman in a dress so bright it hurts your eyes, waves to you. “Come on up and join us!” she calls. You feel slightly hesitant since her companion- a tall, dark man in a tunic that would be well-cut and stylish if he hadn’t clearly slept in it recently- is glaring pure toxic death at you all.

“It’s okay!” Lori shouts down, shoving a curious sheep away with one hand. Figuring that you’re not going to get an explanation from all the way down here, you head up and settle on a blanket with Kanaya on one side and Gamzee flopped across your lap on the other. As soon as you are sat down, you are handed a plate holding a hunk of bread spread with jam. You study the food with some suspicion.

“It’s lovely out here, isn’t it?” asks the tiny woman- rhetorically, you assume, since nobody responds. “I know it seems like an odd place to have a meeting, but this really must remain secret.”

“Which means that if any of you spill your guts, I’ll spill your fucking guts,” says the man, glaring at you all in a way that leaves no doubt that he means it. The tiny woman pats him on the arm gently, then turns back to the rest of you.

“Now, I gather that although you’re from Golgesi, you’re not the group who were paying for egress. Are you aware of the precise arrangement that was made?”

You fiddle with the food and wait for the catch. Terezi nods, and Kanaya says; “I assume it was similar to my own- payment to a contact on the surface for safe escort out.”

Your brow furrows as you spot the flaw in the logic. “It can’t be,” you say, and they both turn to watch you. “Look, Kanaya, your family was noble and you were running from the Temple. You’ve got the money to pay adventurers. Those people we met down there? They were my kind of people. If they had that sort of gold then I’m the High fucking Priestess.”

Terezi reaches the obvious conclusion first. “They were expected to work their debt.”

All of you reach for weapons, but the little woman holds up a hand. “Not to me,” she says. “To one of my… peers, I suppose you’d call him. He’s been doing this for some time, and it’s disgusting.” She shakes her head. “Slavery isn’t technically legal where we’re from, but indentured bonds are, and it’s not as though drow fresh from the mountains will know about their legal situation. It amounts to the same thing, and he is making profit from misery, and I am determined to put a stop to it.”

She folds her arms and pouts; her husband wraps an arm around her shoulders and glares at all of you.

“Personally, I think we should just burn his fucking house down,” he says. “Take his paperwork with it and stab him a few times to make sure he can’t rebuild. But I’m reliably informed that this won’t stop his heirs from pulling the same dirty scam.”

“So you want our help,” says Terezi. The little woman nods.

“I’ve been paying adventurers to infiltrate his operation for years now,” she says. “I’ve been hoping to get agents inside that can uncover the evidence we need to take him apart legally, but nobody can get close enough as a contractor. I need someone to walk into the lion’s den, and volunteers have been short on the ground.”

“Fucking cowards won’t lift a finger to help their fellow elf,” her husband snaps. “Keeps fucking our operation up, too, because it’s a heartless bitch of a job to keep them out of his clutches and leave our agents in place.”

“What happened to the people who were unwilling to offer assistance?” asks Kanaya.

“Depends,” says Dyffyd. “The last three lots we escorted? We dropped one group off along the Stormwrack coast and showed up late and covered in bruises. Said we were ambushed and they escaped. One we delivered on time and the Lady here did her philanthropist thing, bought up their contracts and another two dozen besides then let them go. One…” He sighs heavily. “One, we delivered, then helped them escape the same night. At this point, if we don’t deliver, he’s going to catch on to us.”

“And then the refugees get picked up by his people,” you say, thinking it through carefully. On the face of it, it seems like a really fucking stupid thing to do. You just managed to escape a lifetime of slavery, and you’re certainly not operating under the desire to run back into it. You’re a free agent and you have no obligation to do anything for anyone and you are definitely not thinking about how you just had a huge discussion about altruism and how much various gods sucked at it and why that made them not worth the worship.

It’s possible that this is a trap, a way to make you all walk quietly into captivity, but you don’t think Dyffyd or the others are faking about their worship of the Knight or their respect for you. Worst case scenario, Sollux and Aradia come looking for Kanaya and all your collected allies flip their shit to get you out. As catches go, you’ve seen far worse.

You take a large bite of the bread-and-jam, and wave the bitten portion between Dyffyd and the little woman. “If we do this,” you say, your mouth slightly muffled by food. “Then I want something in exchange.”

The smile on her face is achingly hopeful. “Well, of course, we’d pay you…”

“No,” you say, then wince. “I mean, yes, fuck, pay us, but I want something else too.” You take another bite then jab your new pointing-food at Dyffyd. “You. If I’m spying for you, then I want information. You’ve got the contacts and the patience for this religious bullshit; find out what the actual fuck is going on and tell us about it.”

You don’t mention the Godmarks, but he nods. “We would anyway,” he says.

“So that’s a yes?” asks the little woman. You snort.

“From me it is,” you say. “Can’t speak for everyone else. Gods know I’ll probably end up regretting it anyway.”

“I’ll do it,” says Terezi, a wicked grin spreading across her face. “It sounds as if this scoundrel has perverted the law to his own ends long enough. I will be delighted to introduce him to true justice.”

“I too will assist you,” says Kanaya. You look at her, and she shrugs. “As an adventurer, I am accustomed to taking foolish risks for coin and the furtherance of the wellbeing of elvenkind. This would seem an appropriate endeavour to that end, and I would hate to see my comrades come to harm without me.” She glances past you. “Will Gamzee be joining us?”

“No,” you say, at the same moment as he says; “Yeah.”

You glare down at your soul-brother. “No, you are not fucking coming,” you tell him, scowling at his stupid dopey face. “You’re a fucking wreck at the best of times and now is not one of those. You are staying behind where it’s safe and you can be a useless asshole in peace.”

Gamzee rolls and flops back onto the grass and smiles up at you languidly. “Useless like when I was all up and to getting some motherfucking unwanted attention off of you?” he says. “Or useless like as when I was all calling up the Bard to be motherfucking breaking them heretics as what wanted to be getting all their harm on as to us?”

“That’s not the same situation and you know it!”

“I’m going,” says Gamzee. “I’m all up and going so as when you got your need on for me, I’m there, and don’t be all telling me it ain’t gonna be to happening.” He stares straight up at you with eyes that look tired and sad and angry. “Don’t be all up and leaving me the motherfuck behind, brother.”

“…Okay,” you say, because you’re a sentimental idiot and frankly he’s started to get terrifyingly intense when he wants to. Still, as you sit on the mountainside and devour your bread, you can’t help but feel glad that you’re sticking together through this.

You suspect that you are going to need all the help you can get.

### Suggestions Used

 _Psychopompos -_ Gamzee: Wind up crawling into Karkat's sleeping bag and cuddling up to him pretty much every time you camp anywhere. Because you two should have a chance to be adorable together. 

_ttd0000 -_ Gamzee: Struggle with remaining on the wagon.

 _Deshah -_ Karkat: inexplicably, find that you miss Sollux a great deal

 _ttd0000 -_ Karkat and Terezi: Have a sparring match, gotta keep those skills sharp

 _ttd0000 -_ Hammer Dude: Formally apologize to the evil fil- guests you mean. The towns guests.

 _UDMonk -_ Karkat: Be up to your goddamn nook in friendship.

 _Sandi -_ Terezi: Be ecstatic that Karkat has found even more godmarked people, and be even more convinced that this is a sign of something important happening.

 _nanrea -_ KoB followers: holy shit it's probably a bad omen that all these Godmarked kids are the same fucking age and coming together like this. Something is telling you some big shit is about to go DOWN.

 _Craft -_ Blood God fanboys: Start stalking Karkat like nothing else. You have to keep watch on him EVERYWHERE, even if that involves removing shower curtains so he can't hide while he showers. Creep the fuck outta him.

 _Sandi -_ Karkat: get weirded/freaked out when the Followers take something he says too literally/overzealously. Come to the conclusion that your followers are all crazy. (I love cultstuck too, if you could not tell. :D)

 _Deshah -_ Blood Cultests: Tell Karkat about the Knight of Blood.

 _Sandi -_ Followers of the Blood: Tell Karkat what has happened to the Church of Blood.

 _Deshah -_ Kanaya, Aradia and Sollux: Overhear. Be facinated.

 _Deshah -_ Karkat: If the Knight of Blood had so much begrudging compassioion for outcasts, why weren't there any orphinages in his name? Wait, that would be the Sylph of Space's Domain, wouldn't it?

 _Arkanelancer -_ Kanaya: Fail horribly at spying on Karkat, cause he's already paranoid of everything already

 _WhiteTiger1221 -_ Kanaya: Quickly come to the realisation that Karkat does not in fact fit any Drow stereotypes and find that he can be surprisingly intelligent, cunning and kind.

 _Serene -_ Karkat: quit yer bitchin'

 _Evi -_ Ms. Paint: Be a cute and tiny artist woman with a really scary and murderous husband. (Optional? Scary and murderous husband be a triplet)

 _Aryashi -_ Ms. Paint: Be a helpful questgiver and/or information source

 _tempestousCoryphee -_ Karkat: Be proven partially right in your expectations. (Optional: But in a good way)

 _Sethll7 -_ Karkat: Eat the sandwich it looks safe.

 _Sethll7 -_ Karkat: Contemplate the implications of having your own group of non crazy followers. Try to see if Knight of Blood religion is something you can get behind.

 _AndIMustMask -_ Karkat: get fed up with having fawning minions very quickly, no one likes a kissass. turn them into the beginnings of your own kickass spy network/supply line.

 _Psychopompos -_ Karkat: Prove to your new minions that you're worth your mark, and actually make an effort to be sensible about this whole thing (even though you're still feeling an unholy amount of glee). This may involve Kanaya talking some sense into you. 

_goldchild2 -_ karkat: help out new persons

 _ttd0000 -_ Terezi: Bring justice to those beyond it's reach.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BAD GAMZEE STOP DOING THAT!!!
> 
> Okay, so that clears up most of the Karkat suggestions. Next update is the Prince of Heart, rounding out the pantheon! Yay! :)


	79. -- THE PRINCE OF HEART --

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Hero point votes:**  
>  Terezi 1  
> Jake 2  
> JAKE GAINS ONE HERO POINT!  
> Voting now open for the next Hero Point award: one person will get one after three chapters.
> 
>  **Current Hero Points:**  
>  John 3/5, Rose 3/5, Dave 2/3, Jade 2/3  
>  **Karkat 5/5, Gamzee 3/3,** Terezi 3/5  
>  **Sollux 3/3,** Aradia 2/3, Kanaya 4/5  
>  Jane 2/5, Jake 4/5, **Roxy 3/3,** Dirk 2/3

## THE PRINCE OF HEART

[](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/84mvv4v67ou4hvr/Prince%20of%20Heart.png?dl=0)   
_Puppeteer, Lord of Masks, the Destroyer, the Dreaming God_

ALIGNMENT: Neutral Good

PORTFOLIO: Insight, Invention, Manipulation, Cataclysm

DOMAINS: Destruction (Catastrophe), Repose (Souls), Artifice (Construct), Liberation (Revolution), War (Tactics), Song*

FAVOURED WEAPON: Katana

THE PRINCE OF HEART is a god of many faces and more plans, the puppetmaster pulling the strings of deception, disguise and domination that keep the world safe and, when needs be, the force of devastation that wipes away threats.

HISTORY  
The Prince appears in many tales, but ones that feature him exclusively are elusive and often cryptic. He is commonly known in three facets: as the god of artifice and creator of wonders; as the guardian of the afterlife and the maker of souls and lives; and as the bringer of destruction, the end that meets all. If his priests are to be believed, he almost never speaks with mortals, preferring to either take direct control of matters or challenge his followers to meet their own potential. Although he is widely respected he is often feared too- for his motives are inscrutable, and his powers apocalyptic.

PANTHEONS AND RELATIONSHIPS  
The Prince of Heart appears in the worship of two different pantheons as well as individually.

In the PANTHEON OF LIGHT, he is the god of creation, destruction and death, the master planner and the only one of the gods as quick-witted and perceptive as the SEER OF LIGHT herself. He recruits souls to the armies of the afterlife, and is the forgemaster of the gods; every one of them wears his armour, carries his weapons, and takes his advice. Tales tell of him dying for his brother, the KNIGHT OF TIME, and returning from the afterlife, granting him his power over souls and some degree of his insight. Apart from testing his creations and sparring with his brother he does not join battle himself because if he were to ever unsheathe his sword again it would signal Armageddon. His independent ways can cause him to clash with the HEIR OF BREATH from time to time, not least over his brotherly fondness for the ROGUE OF VOID.

As one of the REBORN GODS, he is the spymaster and the tactician, and the shadow-master who determines the path of fate and choses to embrace or avert it. He is sometimes called the Dead God or the Dreaming God, as he is thought to walk freely in both the world of the living and the world of the dead. He is fond of the MAID OF LIFE and protective of the ROGUE OF VOID, but the greatest chink in his armour is his love for the PAGE OF HOPE. Much of his work is done through puppets or agents, but when the stakes are high enough he is said to walk the world himself in a way few gods will; the Prince is a god of necessity and invention, and has no fear of dirtying his own hands.

Alone, he is most often seen as the guardian of the afterlife or the inventor of enchantment and artifice. While many generals and leaders have an interest in the tactical acumen he offers, many more of his worshippers are drawn by these more esoteric aspects. In particular he is called upon by those who hunt the undead, and to many the redress of the balance between life and death is his foremost purpose. He is still strongly associated with the KNIGHT OF TIME, the PAGE OF HOPE and the ROGUE OF VOID in folk tales, but more often acts alone.

As an antagonist to other pantheons or deities, he is shown as the cold and arrogant chessmaster, a strategist who disregards the lives and souls of others in the balance of his grand schemes. At one time or another he has played this dark purpose for almost all of the other gods, save for the PAGE OF HOPE- for whom he has been the controlling lover- and the ROGUE OF VOID- for whom he has been the fallen friend. The chill of the afterlife rests within this god, and to most ordinary people this makes him a disquieting figure.

APPEARANCE AND EMISSARIES  
The Prince of Heart is portrayed as a masked, regal figure, most usually an unusually dark or pale aasimar, crowned with either ebony or ivory and often seated in judgement upon a throne. He always has a sword with him, and his surroundings vary from cold and empty to filled with magical riches. The most usual additions to the image are a pair of attendant golems, or else a puppet dangling from his free hand. Whatever his position or pose, he is always facing squarely towards the observer, and the best images have eyes that seem to follow the watcher as they move.

SERVANTS  
The Prince favours creatures born of magic over those born of nature, in particular golems and constructs. It is said that he looks out through their eyes and that he even has the power to awaken them to true life, should he so desire.

_L’il Cal_  
This eerie puppet is associated with three different deities and thus cannot be considered a true servant of the Prince. To those who follow the teachings of the Church of Heart, Cal is a herald of divine fate; a geas and a choosing that indicates both a mighty task to be fulfilled and divine faith in the one chosen. It is both a deep honour and a troubling one, yet those who have been called in such a manner have often found the encounter comforting.

_The Puppeteer’s Mask_  
Although it appears to be a simple black stone mask, smooth to the touch, it is anything but. As long as it is on their face, the wearer cannot be found by any magic known to mortals, and they gain the power to either see through the eyes of or to outright possess any individual being whose True Name they know. History indicates- through some terrible tyrannies and bloody wars- that the Mask is a real item, but it has long since faded into myth. Followers of the Prince still cling to the old tradition of hiding their True Name nonetheless, lest the artefact resurface in unfriendly hands.

_Hollowskin_  
This ancient golem is said to be the first ever made by mortal hands. The tale goes that when its creator was slain by a jealous rival, the Prince breathed the spark of life into Hollowskin. The golem took its vengeance then retreated to a secret place to forge magical artefacts of unparalleled quality. Once in a century, Hollowskin emerges to deliver the artefacts to the world, following the signs sent by the Prince as to where they should go.

_Soulbane_  
A deceptively simple blade of shining silver steel, this sword was once in the hands of the Prince of Heart himself and it carries the echoes of his power. It is said to be able to sever the soul from the body with a single blow, to destroy undead with a touch, and to call the lightning at the wielder’s command. It currently resides in the Temple of Heart in Porthaven, guarded by a masked cult of warrior-wizards who have vowed to relinquish it only to one chosen by the god himself.

_Sawtooth and Squarewave_  
These two mythical golems are said to be the first creations of the Prince of Heart, created to be his friends and comrades. Tales say that they travel the world engaging strangers in battle poetry and slaying monsters, and that not even the Prince himself has the power to recall them unless they are ready to return.

CHURCH  
Temples of the Prince are generally set apart from the Temples of others, and are erected in places where the walls between worlds are thought to be thin. Often they are found beside graveyards, at the sites of battles and disasters past, near powerful sources of magic and in places where interplanar portals are or once were. Every Temple of the Prince recognises every other Temple as part of the Church but operates independently; little regard is paid to the supposedly “central " temples for each pantheon.

WORSHIPPERS AND CLERGY  
Clerics of the Prince of Heart are Lawful Good, Neutral Good, Chaotic Good, or True Neutral.

Followers of the Prince are varied and eclectic- wizards and blacksmiths, gravediggers and generals- but his most fanatic dedicates are those who devote themselves to a single mission or calling.

The clergy of the Prince are for the most part Paladins, Clerics and Oracles depending on the manner of their calling. Clerics are often those tending a particular Temple or community while the Paladins wander to where they are needed. His Oracles do not choose so much as they are chosen to act as the Prince's gaming pieces.

TEMPLES AND SHRINES  
Temples to the Prince of Heart are often carven stone, decorated with colourless inlays and lit by open fire. Many of them serve as tombs or barracks or both, and those who visit swear that they can hear the voices of the dead chanting beneath the earth. Non-initiates rarely get past the antechamber; the depths of the Temple are open only to dedicated followers of the Prince.

HOLY TEXTS  
The holy books of the Church of Heart are best described as manuals, generally covering craftsmanship, magical theory, and the tactics of both peace and war. The full extent of information in these tomes is not known, as with each degree of priestly initiation more become known and only the most basic are available for the uninitiated. Knowledge, as the priests of the Prince say, is power.

_The Three Tomes Of Enchantment_  
Widely acknowledged as the best introduction to the practise of enchantment available, these tomes are notable amongst arcane educators for their religious origins and themes. In particular the cautions against revealing one’s True Name- generally considered practical between wizards- are strongly worded.

_The Seven Strategies_  
This book forms the core of most military theory and education, providing as it does a powerful grounding in basic strategy, tactics and logistics. Given that the few times the Church of Heart has mobilised, it has done so to terrifying effect, it seems likely that further lessons remain to be taught, although most lay commanders rely on other sources and a wider experience base.

_The Book Of Waking Dreams_  
At first read this seems to be a meandering tale about a man who lives two lives in different lands, switching whenever he sleeps or wakes. In one he is a warrior and the last survivor of his people in his homeland; in the other, he is a spy in an enemy city. Some theologians believe that the man is an allegory for the Prince, given his gift for magical constructions, tactics, and deception. Other theologians argue that the book is a solid grounding in spycraft and tactics, and that the man is merely the means by which this lesson is delivered.

_Thunder Calls_  
To call this a book is somewhat erroneous, although it does exist in written form. Thunder Calls is in essence more of a folk tale or song, taking the form of a poetry battle between the Prince and the KNIGHT OF TIME. Interspersed with the stanzas is a third voice, naming the destruction in the mortal world that corresponds with their challenges including a storm, a battle, and a typhoon. At one point popular with the lay followers of both faiths, this song is now less common by far. Its descendants live on in battle poetry and folktales, however, and it is the source of much apocryphal “knowledge " about both deities.

HOLIDAYS  
The church of the Prince is often presides over funerals and wakes, and is also the church most called on for coronations and the anointment of leaders. It also often patronises Memorial and Founding holidays, although these vary by city and region.

_All Souls' Wake_  
When the six moons align and the borders between worlds become thin, the followers of the Prince hold vigil to defend the world from the hungry dead and to welcome the spirits of their ancestors returning until morning light.

_The Feast Of Fools_  
Many of those who celebrate this popular holiday forget the God who sponsors it. Held in the late days of summer, celebrants wear extravagant costume and put on plays, puppet shows and other entertainment. Popular stories are filled with comedic intrigue and violence, and singing and poetry are shared by all. At the feast at the end of the day, the King or Queen of the Fools is crowned by popular acclaim, and they lead the revelry for the rest of the night.

\--------------  
* Third Party Domains, 4 Winds Fantasy Gaming

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, that wraps up the LODAD gods! What other filler shall take their place? We shall see...
> 
> I've been blown away by the response I got for these God fillers; a couple of people have even told me that they used one or more of the Gods in question in their games! I hope the Prince of Heart is a satisfactory conclusion to this collection, and with any luck the next round of filler will be just as engaging for you all. :)


	80. ==> Aradia: Jailbreak

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> John 3/5, Rose 3/5, Dave 2/3, Jade 2/3  
>  **Karkat 5/5, Gamzee 3/3,** Terezi 3/5  
>  **Sollux 3/3,** Aradia 2/3, Kanaya 4/5  
>  Jane 2/5, Jake 2/5, **Roxy 3/3,** Dirk 2/3 
> 
> **Hero point votes:**  
>  Terezi 1  
> Jake 2
> 
> Oops! Looks like I forgot to assign one and close the voting round last chapter. Everyone gets another vote anyway; we'll just skip doling one out this round 'cos quite frankly the things are getting out of hand.

## ==> Aradia: Jailbreak

It’s not that it’s a bad cell, exactly- actually, it’s pleasant as dungeons go, with clean straw on the floor and mostly dry walls and hardly any bloodstains at all- but you really, really don’t like being locked up.

“You should rest. Everyone else is.”

You pull your face up from where it was resting on your knees and glare at the little girl sitting by the barred door of your cell. “Everyone else is drunk. Or Jake.” You glance over at the two trancing elves, and spend a moment admiring their eyelashes. It’s a little eerie how similar they look.

“You’ll need your strength.”

You shake your head and your hair tickles your ears as it bounces around your horns. “I don’t have to listen to you. You’re not even real!”

The little girl stares at you blankly, then presses her hands against the ground. Leaves spread out across the straw, and the torch flames melt into beams of dappled sunlight. You’re still in a cage, though now it’s bars on all sides and not just one.

“Cheater,” you say, but your heart isn’t really in it. You’re not stupid, you know vivid hallucinations are meant to be a bad sign, but you and Sollux have never been normal. He has his headaches and his mood swings and his dislike of people, and you have dreams that come out and chase you down when you don’t get the proper amount of sleep.

You wouldn’t mind so much if they weren’t usually nightmares.

“How long do you think it’ll be before they come back?” asks the little girl. Her eyes glint out from under the shadow of her hair, which is tangled around her horns- big, curling ram-like ones, like yours. “Sollux is going to be in a lot of trouble.”

“It was just a bar fight,” you say. A few of the memories replay, and you wince. “We can pay for that wizard’s staff. No harm done!”

The little girl tugs at one of the fraying edges on her sleeves. “You should kill them when they come for you.” She tilted her head, thinking. “You could probably confuse them long enough for Sollux to explode something important.”

For a moment, the world around the cage flickers- not to a cell, but to another part of the forest, where the ground is blackened with blood and ash and scattered with unmoving bodies. It shimmers back to the more peaceful forest in less than a heartbeat, even with how fast yours is racing now. You struggle to control it; panic has never been a helpful reaction for you.

“That’s bad,” you say, noting the clusters of hide tents that have sprung up outside the bars. You can almost smell the campfires. “I don’t do things that are bad.”

“Yes, you do,” says the little girl. “You’re okay with it when Rokoz is giving the orders.” She leans forward as if to whisper conspiratorially, but in the same flat tone says: “It’s fun sometimes.”

“Rokoz is dead,” you tell her. She doesn’t smile, but her gaze doesn’t waver in a way that you know means triumph.

“More bad things,” she says, and vanishes. You’d celebrate, but the corpses from earlier are back, and all their dead glassy eyes are looking at you accusingly from bodies that have been stabbed and torn and burnt.

“If you think that’s going to get to me, then you’re going to have to try much harder!” you tell them with a smile that you don’t really feel. The air fills with a discordant whine, growing in volume until everything is vibrating with it, and then it breaks and you wake up.

Your transition to waking isn’t as smooth as falling asleep was, mostly because at some point you fell over onto your arm and it’s gone dead. Trying to lean on it almost sends you tumbling onto your nose; you catch yourself just in time and start shaking it to clear the pins and needles.

“Hello, there!” says Jake, beaming as you sit up. “I’d wish you a good morning, but with no bally windows it’s a bit of a wild guess, I’m afraid.” He lifts his hands towards his mouth and blows into the small sliver of silvery metal he’s holding; the same tuneless whine that interrupted your dream fills the cell, but this time you think you can pick out an attempt at something musical.

“You know, you should probably stop doing that before you wake someone up,” you say.

“What?” Jake looks taken aback. “But who doesn’t want a spot of musical merriment to pick up our spirits a tad?” He blows into the instrument again to punctuate his point.

Sollux doesn’t move, but his voice- muffled from his face being turned towards the floor- drifts out. “If you blow on that thing again, Quartthkin, I am going to jam it up your ath and break it off in there.”

“Sollux!” you say, flopping down next to your best friend in the whole wide world. “You’re awake!”

“Yeth, unfortunately,” he says, still unmoving. “And thober, too, which meanth I get to look back at my patht choitheth in full and gloriouth detail before eternally regretting them. Hooray.”

“Yes, you did rather make a mess of things,” agrees Jake, setting down the instrument on the ground beside him. “Still, it could be a darned sight worse!”

The sheer conviction with which he says it is more telling than his smile. You wonder just what happened in the Drow city.

“You get used to it, travelling with Sollux,” you say, ruffling your friend’s hair and snatching your hand back away from a sleepy swipe. “He’s not very good at self-control when he’s drunk.”

Jake nods. “Yes, my sister’s the same way, although I imagine things get a sight more dramatic with spells to call on!” He pauses, then adds. “Bryn, not Jade or Jane. Gosh, this is going to take a good load of getting used to!” He twiddles the silvery instrument in his fingers.

“Where did you find that?” you ask, and he pauses.

“Oh, Boney had it!” he said. You’re about to ask who Boney is, but before you can he reaches behind himself and produces a yellowing skull. “Found him in the corner over there, under some straw,” says Jake, still beaming. “Jolly atmospheric, isn’t he?”

Nothing could stop you from grinning and reaching for the skull. “Wow! That’s amazing!” He hands Boney over willingly, and you examine the skull. “Ooh, he’s an aasimar, look!”

“Really?” Jake leans in closer; he smells a little like stale sweat, but it’s not an unpleasant scent, and you are briefly distracted from the skull by contemplating the curve of his neck. “How do you know?”

“Well, it’s obviously the wrong shape for anything but aasimar or elf,” you say, scooting towards him so that you can both examine Boney at once. “And then you look at the teeth. See how worn they are? Aasimar don’t regrow teeth like elves, they don’t live long enough… oh, I wish I knew how to tell if Boney was a boy or a girl!”

Sollux groans and rolls over, prodding at Jade with his foot. “JD, wake up. You’re the thanetht of uth all and my head hurtth and thethe two idiotth have found a pet thkull.”

Jade makes a sleepy noise, and beside her Bec’s head raises. He doesn’t make any sound, just stares at Sollux, who slowly pulls his foot back under the shelter of his body. You giggle.

“Yeah, hilariouth,” your friend mutters. Closing his eyes, he rubs his head with one hand, ignoring the small sparks of red and blue that run over his skin. “I have got to thtop drinking,” he says.

Jake takes Boney back out of your hands, and looks over at Sollux with an unusually serious expression. “You’re not, ah…” he makes a gesture with one hand that looks like someone drinking- rather messily, you think, but then he was raised by dwarves. “Not that it’s a problem if you are, old chap, just think it might be handy for us to know.”

“I’m not a drunk,” says Sollux bluntly. You snicker and he throws a handful of straw at you. “I’m not! I’ve gone weekth without drinking while we’re working without any problemth.”

You throw the straw back at him. “And then every time we come back to town you get absolutely hammered and end up in trouble!”

“That’th different and you know it!”

It is, and you do, and no matter how much you hate it you understand why. You’d do the same, if you weren’t so afraid to lose control, so determined not to miss out on the life you once thought you’d never have. Sollux doesn’t handle the past as well as you do, and so far he’s not been interested in trying.

So far.

“Okay, if you’re serious, then let’s make a deal!” You shuffle round to face him. “If you really want to not cause trouble, then no more mead. And you can save the drinking until the second night in town from now on. And if you keep both of those promises, then I’ll still bail you out of jail when you get in trouble!”

“I like mead,” says Sollux, a little sullenly.

“Yes, but it turns you into a complete jerk and sends you on rampages and is the complete opposite of fun for everyone who isn’t you,” you tell him, and jab a finger into his chest. “So cut. It. Out.”

“Ow! Okay, okay, I promithe!” He swats your hand away. “Cut that out, I have a headache!”

“I could play some music to soothe it,” offers Jake, holding up the instrument. Sollux glares balefully at him then slumps back onto the straw.

“He’s moping about getting us locked in here,” you whisper to Jake, loudly. A small blue spark pings against your leg and you retaliate with a flick of your fingers that magically shoves Sollux in the side.

You’re about to ask if you can have another look at Boney when Bec lifts his head and pricks his ears up. Beside him, Jade’s head lifts as if she hadn’t been trancing at all.

“What is it, boy?” she asks, and tilts her head. “Oh- someone’s coming!” She looks across at the three of you, and frowns. “Is Sollux awake?”

“Sort of,” you and Jake chorus. Your eyes meet his and you smile; he blushes. It’s a good look on him.

“I’m up, I’m up,” says Sollux, pushing himself upright. “Okay, tho, when the guard thowth up I’ll exthplain that thith wath all my fault and they thould jutht let the retht of you go…”

Bec starts growling, which is all the warning you get before a hooded, grey-clad figure steps around the corner and throws a glass vial. His aim is off and it shatters against the bars of the cell; fire flares and burning liquid splashes. You ward it off with an arm and hiss when some of it splatters you, burning your skin.

The grey-cloaked figure is already pulling out another vial when you lower your arm, but before he can clear it Jake hurls Boney at him through the bars. For a moment the air seems to tingle and you think you smell gunpowder, then the skull slams into the assassin with enough force to send him reeling. He recovers fast and you see a pair of eyes that shine like a cat’s glaring at Jake. The elf tries to dodge aside but isn’t fast enough to avoid the second vial. He screams as the fire envelops him.

Setting your jaw- this isn’t the time to worry, not yet- you do a quick scan of the assassin and see what you’re looking for hanging from his belt.

“There’s a third vial!” you yell, pointing it out as Bec circles the cell in a panic and Jade runs over to help her brother extinguish the flames that are dancing over his skin and clothes. Sollux follows your gesture and smirks. Raising his hands, he speaks two words that rasp and echo and flare with power, and a bright flash of heat and light lances out towards the assassin and douses him in fire. You hear the crack as the vial shatters, and the assassin’s screams echo loud enough to hurt as he is swallowed by a towering flame.

The charred body collapses to the floor and you whirl, ready to help Jake, only to find him getting back to his feet with Jade supporting his arm. He’s nowhere near so bad as you were afraid of; his skin is pink and a few blisters are forming, he’s missing his eyebrows and there’s a layer of sooty slime on his clothes, but his lopsided grin is already back in place.

“Did you see that strike I made?” he asks, beaming at you. “Gave him what for, I can tell you!”

“It was really cool!” you say, then turn to Sollux. “Well done,” you whisper, wrapping an arm around his shoulder and giving him a friendly squeeze. He blushes ochre.

“It’th my fault we’re in thith meth,” he says. “I thuppothe I thould get uth-”

“Gods above and below!”

Two guards step out from the alcove that holds the stairs up, a man and a woman. They stare in shock at the burned body outside your cell, which is admittedly smelling very bad now.

“Before you say anything,” says Jake, letting go of Jade’s shoulders and straightening up. “You should know that this absolute bounder tried to off us with a few doses of the old Alchemist’s Fire.”

The woman nods absently. “Yes, that makes sense.”

“Makes sense? What the hell!” yells Jade. Her face is shockingly pale as she stalks towards the bars; Jake jumps out of her way, and you’re glad you aren’t the focus of her anger. “What kind of a job are you _doing?_ I thought guards were supposed to guard things!”

The woman backs away from the cell, and the man holds up his hands. “I don’t know how he got past us!”

“Me neither,” says the woman, quickly. “We had no idea- by the Gods, I’m glad we showed up when we did.”

Jade folds her arms. “So what are you going to do about it, then?” Bec sits down next to her with an emphatic grunt.

“Report it at once,” says the man. “And I can promise you, our commander will take this seriously.” He shakes his head, eyes flicking from Jade to Jake. “None of us want to see anything happen to John and Jane’s family.”

“You look just like them,” adds the woman.

“You know John and Jane?” Jake glares at them menacingly. It’s moderately adorable. “Do you really think we’re going to be falling for this old rum? Not likely!”

“They were training to join the Watch, before they vanished,” says the man, folding his arms. “John was going to be in my patrol. Don’t tell me it’s old rum.”

“Too many people are going missing,” the woman adds. “And it started with them.”

“So what?” Jade rests her hand on Bec’s head, although you can’t tell if it’s to calm him or her. “You’re going to come down here and ask us what happened to them? We don’t know!”

“Complete mythtery,” mutters Sollux, and you kick him in the ankle.

“Actually, we came down here to check on you,” says the woman, crouching down and picking up the bundle of cloth that she dropped earlier. “Make sure you know how much trouble you’re in.”

“Normally you wouldn’t be in the cells more than a night, for a bar brawl.” The man takes over while she walks to the table across the way, dropping the bundle off on it. “But things have been changing. People get arrested, especially outsiders with no papers, and they don’t show up again.”

A vague chill runs over your skin, and you’re already shaking your head when Jade says; “But that’s ridiculous, they’re your prisoners!”

“Not if they’re vanishing from the cells,” you say. Two guards stare back at you. “That’s what you came here to warn us about, isn’t it?”

“Emergency measures, they call it,” says the man. “There’s more and more of them, coming down from the Temples by night, wearing grey cloaks and walking out with our prisoners.” He shivers. “At first we didn’t say anything because they had writs, it seemed legal, and now…”

“You don’t want to be the oneth who vanith,” says Sollux. You reach back and wrap a hand around his wrist, squeezing it for reassurance. Silence settles over you all again.

“So, what happens now?” you ask brightly.

“Well, you haven’t vanished yet, so now we go and report this to our commander,” says the man, waving his hand towards the body and visibly swallowing.

“WHAT!?!” yells Jade.

“Not bloody likely!” yells Jake, while behind you Sollux hisses and sparks. You’re tempted to join him until you see the smile that the woman is trying to hide.

“No, wait!” you shout, waving your hands at your companions. “I think- I think they might have a point. They should definitely go and report in about this as soon as possible, because it would be dreadful if something were to happen to us. Imagine if they got back and we were gone!”

Everyone else stares at you in shock, but you’re watching the guard and her mouth twitches again. _Got it._

“I really don’t think you will,” she says. “We’ll be back before anyone can come for you, and it’s not as if you’re going to walk out on your own when we made sure to leave all your equipment safe with your family back at the inn and the key is all the way over here!” She only slightly exaggerates taking it out of her pocket and hanging it on the wall.

There’s a grunt behind you as Sollux catches on. “It’th not like we’ll reach it all the way over there,” he points out.

“That would defeat the point,” says the other guard. He winks at the four of you, so fast that you could almost miss it. “Dangerous folk like you? We heard about that fight. Turning into wolves, throwing all sorts of magic about… we can’t just _let_ you out, can we? Especially not if they ask us about it under spell later.”

Jade and Jake have no poker faces. You would be ashamed of them if you weren’t also grinning.

“Good luck,” whispers the woman, as the two of them turn to leave. They vanish back up the stone steps to the exit, lantern light bobbing away with them, until you’re all alone in the torchlight again.

“Now what?” asks Jake, staring at the key hanging on the wall.

“I could turn into a squirrel and go fetch it,” suggests Jade. “Squirrels are really smart at fetching stuff.”

You shake your head. “Save your power,” you say, and raise your hand. The cantrip springs to your mind the moment you call for it, and your power thrums a deep, vibrant red as you stretch out your Mage Hand and grasp the keys.

Maybe you can’t bring a scorching death to assassins or call lightning from your fingertips, but any small objects within thirty feet are yours to command.

The keys slide through the bars and drop into your hand as you stop concentrating on the spell. You open the door with a flourish and a smile, and make sure to slot the keys neatly back on the wall hook where you found them.

“Oh, I say, look at these!”

Jake is holding up the top item from the bundle of cloth that the two guards left behind, and your mouth falls open. Dangling next to Jake, long enough to cover him from neck to toe, is a faded and patched dress.

“You have got to be kidding me,” says Sollux, flatly.

“Why?” asks Jake, picking through the pile and pulling out a bonnet. “Darned good ruse, if you ask me. Should be a spot of fun, too!” He drops the dress and ties the bonnet clumsily, hair sticking out from under it at odd angles. “Dressing up never did anyone any harm, after all!”

“Dependth what they dreth up ath,” Sollux mutters. He doesn’t quite take a step back deeper into the cell, and Jade giggles.

“I thought you wanted to be a wizard, anyway,” she says, striding forwards and pulling out a shapeless grey dress that looks more like a tent to you. “They wear dresses all the time!”

 _“Robeth,”_ Sollux hisses. “It’th totally different!”

“Well, look at it this way,” you say, walking over and taking one of the remaining garments. “If this disguise works how it should, no-one will ever know you wore it!”

“Ecthept you,” says Sollux, but he catches the hood you toss him. It takes the four of you a couple of minutes to get disguised to your satisfaction- putting on big dresses and aprons and headgear is easy, but making sure nothing incriminating pokes out is way harder- then you arrange yourselves into a rough sort of order with Jade at the front. Behind her Jake is carrying a torch liberated from one of the wall brackets, which has the double advantage of lighting up his skin and Jade’s while casting you and Sollux into more shadows. Really, there are only two things that concern you; the dim glow of Sollux’s eyes under his hood, and the way Jade’s oversized skirt keeps twitching and sprouting a wolfish nose or tail.

“This,” you state, with some heavy consideration, “Is a terrible disguise.”

“It only has to get us out of the dungeons,” says Jade, smiling brightly.

“Only,” Sollux echoes. “Well, that’th good to know. When they’re thooting uth full of arrowth for being the leatht convinthing vithitorth ever, I’ll be thure to think wow, I’m glad we only have to get out of the _dungeonth.”_

“Don’t be a butt,” you say, patting him on the shoulder. He glares at you.

“Right-ho, on we go!” says Jake, forging ahead up the stairs. He’s almost convincing as a harmless elven woman, which is more than you can say for the rest of you. You and Sollux won’t stand up to any close scrutiny at all and you are convinced Jade has never worn a dress before in her life. Bec certainly hasn’t.

The stairs up from your cell turn out to lead to a circular corridor, which you follow around until you find the one branch that doesn’t lead downwards. A breeze of fresh, clean air makes you realise just how fuggy the air down here; you hold your breath so as not to sneeze, and come to an abrupt stop behind your companions.

“What the blue froghopping blazes-”

“Shh!” Jade clamps a hand over her brother’s mouth. “Wait.” She nods towards the dim light up ahead, and in sharp black-and-white darkvision you see the four guards stood in the doorway. Seeing her point, you nod.

“What ith it?” whispers Sollux, over your shoulder.

“The guards are changing,” you whisper back. He nods, leaving only Jake puzzled when Jade releases her hand. He says nothing, though, just crouches and waits with the three of you until two of the figures walk off. You wait, silent except for breathing and faint scrapes of stone, until you have counted to two hundred slowly. Then you nod to Jade, who stands and leads your small group towards the guards.

“Who goes there!?” The guards frown at you as you appear. “State your business!”

You have to fight not to break out in giggles as Jade stomps right up to the guard who spoke. “State _my_ business!?” Her finger waggles under his nose. “Young man, I have had it up to here with you city watch types, all thinking you can arrest whoever you like without so much as a by-your-leave! Bad enough that we had to come and visit poor Agatha in jail without you giving us cheek!”

“It’s just basic security, ma’am,” says the other guard, somewhat more apologetically.

“Hmmf!” Jade is every bit the picture of a disgruntled old lady. “Bullying, I call it!”

The guards exchange a look, and you see one of them shrug. “Just move on through, ma’am,” says the guard beside her. With a haughty sniff Jade does so, Jake following close behind her and Sollux keeping his head ducked to hide his eyes as they each step out into the courtyard.

You are the last one through, and you almost make it before you tread on the hem of your dress. The hood slips, and one of your horns glints in the moonlight. The guards’ eyes widen.

“Halt!” yells one, reaching out for you. Stealth forgotten, you break into a run.

“PRISONERS LOOSE! CLOSE THE GATES!” A bell starts ringing and ahead of you the portcullis in the main gate begins to sink; you charge after your friends, who one by one make it to the other side and turn to see you chasing after them at full tilt. You realise with a sinking dismay that you’re not going to make it in time.

“Aradia!” Sollux’s hand is stretching out under the portcullis towards you and it is wreathed in blue-red ghostlight; its rattling descent slows and you put on a burst of extra speed. In the gloom behind the portcullis, you see Jake and Jade shove a barrel into place under the falling spikes of metal. Slowly they bite into the wood, pause, and then start inorexibly crushing it to splinters. You hurtle across the courtyard, too fast to stop or slow down without tumbling head over heels, and throw yourself forward just as the barrel cracks and the portcullis lurches down another three feet. You make it through with seconds to spare, streaked in mud and still moving forward on momentum.

“Your bonnet!” exclaims Jake. Patting your head one-handed, you realise you left it on the other side of the portcullis. Turning back to face the approaching guards, you see it lying just past the bars, shrug, grab the torch off Jake and throw it at the shattered barrel.

The portcullis collapses in a shower of sparks and shriek of rust. “Forget the bonnet,” you say, grinning like a loon. “Let’s run!”

You all run, none of you keen to see if the portcullis will delay your pursuers for long. Light flickers behind you, and with a small pang of guilt you realise that you may have managed to set light to some of the other crates and barrels about the place- you really should have thought about the flammable hay on the floor before you started a fire, but it was such a dramatic gesture that it had to be done!

Glancing behind you, you see a cluster of grey-cloaked figures bearing down on you, unmistakeably in the same garb as the unfortunate assassin and just as certainly chasing you. You switch your gaze back to the street ahead and pick up speed.

“We need… a hiding place!” you gasp, between breaths.

“Oh… good idea…” says Jade. “But… we can’t just… knock on someone’s door… like this!”

“KEEP RUNNING!” yells Sollux, taking the lead and darting off down a side-street.

“If only… I had… my gun!” bemoans Jake, following him. You know the feeling, somewhat. You might not have used your whip for much but it would be nice to have it here. If you didn’t have your magic to fall back on you’d be very upset right now!

The four of you turn back onto a main street, then pull up short when three grey-cloaked figures step out onto the road ahead of you. Turning, you see another five walk in from behind, and two appear at the entrance to the alley you just used. The four of you pull together, stand back-to-back. Bec growls from between Jade’s feet, and you and Sollux raise your arms with the first hints of sorcery glowing around your fingers. Briefly, you wonder if anyone will intervene, then you think of the dark, silent street and realise that even if they hear you nobody will dare to look.

Porthaven has been poisoned by something foul. You wish you had seen it sooner, and wonder how long it has been lurking beneath the surface.

The grey figures all take a step closer and you tense; behind you Jake lets out a yell and you almost jump out of your skin.

“There!” he shouts, pointing at the wall ahead of him. Puzzled, you follow the gesture and are astounded to see what looks like an arm slowly pushing out of it. It’s a fleshy arm, grey-skinned and pale, and where it meets the wall is a pool of writhing shadow. All of you shuffle around, not sure whether to meet the new threat or focus on the old. The grey figures themselves hesitate in their approach as the arm is joined by a shoulder, which is followed by a leg and a hip and a torso and finally the curve of a familiar horn and a mess of dark hair.

The other you steps out onto the street on feet that stir up darkness wherever they tread. She’s wearing what looks like a black dress, but the edges are made of ragged nightmare, and through the supposed cloth the shape of your Godmark burns on her lower back like deep crimson fire. Her head turns to take in the street, and then blank white eyes focus on your group.

Jake stumbles back a step when she approaches him, and you can hardly blame him because this other you is scary. In fact, if it wasn’t for a feeling deep in your gut, you wouldn’t believe this was you at all. Part of you wants to think that, to reach the only conclusion that makes sense- that this is the Maid of Time, borrowing your likeness and the mark she left on you to manifest in the world in some way. But when you look at her, you know that whoever this is, she is you as you might be.

She looks at you, briefly, with her empty eyes. Then she holds out a hand towards Jake and the shadows wrap around to create a book. It’s worn and stained and battered and she places it in his hands like a priceless treasure.

Jake swallows, opens it, and studies the contents for a few moments. “I can’t-” He gulps. “I can’t read this. Sorry?”

Fascination overcoming fear, you glance over his shoulder and immediately recognise the dark, creeping characters. “Oh! That’s Abyssal!” You look back at your doppelganger. “That’s interesting.”

She smiles at you, an expression as empty as her eyes, then turns on the spot.

 _ **“run,”**_ she says, and nothing about the word sounds right but when her arm comes up and points you all break in that direction anyway. It turns out that what looked like a narrow gap between two buildings is actually the entrance to an alleyway; the grey figures start to move while you squeeze through it one by one, but the other Aradia waits until you are all out of the street before she raises her arms.

You don’t see what happens next, because everything behind you goes black. There are screams- dry, inhuman screams- and a terrible stench of blood and lilacs. The street has become madness; you can feel it pressing against your skin, a physical force of inconceivable reality that makes your heart pound and your mouth dry.

Turning your back on it, you run.

### Suggestions Used

 _Scedasticity -_ Aradia: Flashback (preferably to your childhood, but an early visit to Porthaven or meeting Kanaya would be good, too)

 _Ephemeral_Dreamer -_ Aradia: Meet the ghost of your past self

 _Ephemeral_Dreamer -_ Aradia's ghost: Be kind of evil or the servant of somebody who is evil

 _ttd0000 -_ Ghost!Aradia: Be disturbingly 0kay with many horrible things.

 _Chaosisorder -_ Someone: Find the harmonica, play the jailer's tune. (optional: break the harmonica Sollux, its not helping your hangover.)

 _tempestousCoryphee -_ Aradia: Continue being cheerful in a creepy way. (Optional: Give no fucks when someone points it out)

 _Troodon -_ Aradia and/or Jake: find a skull. Procced to coo over it like most people do over puppies.

 _Sethll7 -_ Sollux: Dwell on the fact that you have messed up once again. Try to change your ways ever so little. One step at a time.

 _Ephemeral_Dreamer -_ Evil Concpiracy: Try to assasinate the heroes while they're in prison

 _BubbleBtch -_ Jake: Be unexpectedly badass with a random skull as a weapon

 _IvyTai -_ Sollux: try to fix the mess you made. Succeed just barely and only got acknowledged for it by Aradia.

 _1JakoftheMoon1 -_ Porthaven group: unintentionally assist one of the other parties through some weird plot shit. This might take a while.

 _Asuka Kureru -_ Anyone : Crossdress.

 _HUNRonin -_ Aradia: Act out a famous scene from an Indiana Jones movie. But subverdted.(like: instead of falling for an obvious trap and than escape narrowly, don't trigger it in the first place).

 _Evi -_ Aradia: set fire to something that probably did not need to be torched.

 _Evi -_ Somebody: Discover an unobstrusive arm, sticking out in a place where arms do not typically stick out.(your choice whether to make it glowy for an inside joke or just some dude's)

 _J-Rook -_ Future Aradia: don't let dave be the only time traveller in this thing. Time to clean house.

 _1JakoftheMoon1 -_ D00med Aradia: Save the day at a critical juncture.

 _Chippy -_ Somebody: Recieve a journal from a doomed timeline. Discover that it is written entirely in Abyssal

 _Chippy -_ Horrorterrors: Aid the Heroes of legend [because its about time they took an interest.]

 _Aryashi -_ ?????: Acquire Dreaming and/or Past-Life and/or Knowledge Giving and/or Introspection Macguffin during seemingly unrelated side quest, in true D &D fashion

[System Notes](http://celynbrum.tumblr.com/post/68663751492/lodad-system-notes-chapter-80)


	81. ==>  Gamzee: HONK

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Hero point votes:**  
>  Terezi 1  
> Jake 3
> 
>  **Current Hero Points:**  
>  John 3/5, Rose 3/5, Dave 2/3, Jade 2/3  
> Karkat 2/5, Gamzee 1/3, Terezi 1/5  
>  **Sollux 3/3** , Aradia 2/3, Kanaya 3/5  
> Jane 2/5, Jake 2/5, **Roxy 3/3,** Dirk 2/3

## ==> Gamzee: HONK

The slavemaster is a man.

You knew he was, of course. They’d all gone and said it in front of you, but… you weren’t expecting it, somehow. Somewhere all up in the back of your thoughts you’d all gone and been thinking on how when you saw him you’d see her that was behind him, only there ain’t a her at all, there’s just him and it don’t make sense in your cracked-up head.

The way his eyes flick over you and his lip curls, it don’t seem to matter any which way. There’s a matriarch in there, under the silver skin and hair; you can see her, all peeking out at you and tallying your worth. You try not to shuffle your feet and wind your hands together behind your back to stop them from reaching out for Karkat. You don’t want this motherfucker to know how much your angry little soulbro is meaning to you. Maybe you should make it obvious, because this is just pretend and he’s gotta think you’re all harmless and no kind of trouble for him, but this ain’t just pretend and for the parts that are real you know what you gotta protect.

The man you came to destroy is all up and talking to Gwiryn in that surface language what you don’t know none of, and the four of you are standing there between the rest of your new friends trying to look suitable scared. It’s bright out here, painful dazzling, and you’re keeping your eyes half-closed so as you ain’t got the light stabbing into your head.

The plan, as what you understand it after the last week of talking it back and forth, ain’t any kinds of difficult. This motherfucker’s careful about who he lets into his house and when and who’s with them, but he ain’t gonna keep such a watch on them as he owns, most particular when they’re unarmed and unarmoured and don’t speak no overcommon and don’t got any friends elsewhere anywise. All you gotta do is stay quiet and stick with the others and it should all be done by tomorrow.

It still don’t sit easy with you, when fingers come to be grabbing at your face. The man says something, something what Gwyrin replies to, and the way his eyes are focusing on yours you know he’s seeing the shakes and the sweats and the signs that you ain’t all healthsome and whole. You chew on your lip and tell yourself what it don’t matter none as them as is calling themselves friends barter you away.

You ain’t no expert, but the purse as gets handed over looks a sight more motherfucking light than the one your mother stood to earn.

Another man steps on forward, this one in armour and with the look of a guard to him. There’s a whole bundle of them about, keeping watch over their master.

“Come with me,” he says, in undercommon what is rough and accented and blunt. You’ve not got your knowing on as to whether he spoke like to an inferior with deliberation, or whether he just got no knowledge of the tongue he speaks. Either way you trail after the others, still squinting up against the sun and feeling so motherfucking tired of being sick.

There’s a shout comes from down the path, and all of you are stopping as a new man strides up. He’s flanked by two others, a man and a woman, and all the three of them are dressed in blue-stained leather that’s got the look of the law to it. You only get the briefest glimpse of him, golden and muscular, before you’re all up and being hustled off again away from his view. You hear the strains of an argument behind you, and wonder how many besides your employer have reason to be hunting on this motherfucker.

You’re led to a cluster of huts, long and wooden, and ordered into one. Inside there ain’t much to speak of, just bedrolls along the walls and a dim, dusty light what lets you open your eyes fully and see without pain.

“Tomorrow, you work,” says the guard, and you hear a lock click on shut behind you. Soon as you’re alone your lawsis goes on a stalk about the place, getting her examine on of the nooks and crannies and secrets. Your most Holy of sisters waits for her, while Karkat drops himself down to a bedroll and scowls.

“We should get some rest,” he says. “If we’re going to be running round after everyone’s gone to sleep like the most obvious thieves ever, we’ll need it.”

“It’s going to work,” says Kanaya. Karkat snorts.

“It had fucking better,” he says. “I didn’t haul my ass up into the daylight just to end up in the same shitty situation again. If we aren’t done by tomorrow, I’m hacking my way out of here.”

“With what?” asks Terezi, raising an eyebrow as she turns on round to study him. You flop down next to your brother, not wanting him to be left alone before her. “Unarmed and unarmoured, I don’t think you’ll make it far alone.”

Karkat grumbles, but cuddles closer to you. You wrap your arms around him and let his presence settle all that’s unsettled within. “I hate this plan,” he says.

You spend most of the afternoon dozing fitfully, only getting your wake on properly when the rest of them enslaved motherfuckers arrive back in from the work they been doing. Fields and mines, from what you’ve heard- hard work what needs bodies, but ain’t got much care for their breaking. There’s some fuss when one of them motherfuckers swears up and down that you and your brother stole his bedroll, but you dodge out of a motherfucking fight by rolling over to the next one while Karkat ain’t looking. There’s some wary kinds of glances after that- you can feel their eyes, burning into your skin like ants under the flesh- but ain’t nobody talks to you. Ain’t nobody feeds you, neither. You guess mayhap that’s a thing as happens outside of these walls, to be sure that only them as works are fed.

In the end, all there is to do is sleep, and sleep don’t come easy without your sweet alchemical friends. Dreams do, though: they’re hungry motherfuckers, all claws and empty eyes, laughter ringing low and fragrant in the darkness. You huddle under half-felt blankets and wonder if they’ll find you, if you’ll survive being found.

“Well, well, well, look who it ain’t.”

You couldn’t call the white marks in front of you a face, or even a mask; they’re smeared contours, a hint of an expression lit from behind by a portentous purple light. They’re smiling, but not in any kind of a way that means good humour to you.

“Trying to hide from me, MOTHERFUCKER?” it roars, and the smile becomes a frown as you squeak and pull away. It laughs as you move, the white all changing and shifting about back to good humour. You ain’t got the sight of nothing but its face, yet the black behind it is angled like long limbs, folded up and waiting. One of them unfolds, unseen, and you shudder as sharp fingertips trace up along your cheek.

“Look at you, all hollow and waiting,” it croons. “USELESS LITTLE SACK OF MOTHERFUCKING SHIT WHAT YOU ARE.”

The talons scratch your skin as they jerk down to grasp your throat. Your wail is cut off for lack of breath as it hauls you close; you can smell rotten flesh on its breath, and around you the air is getting thick and hot with what you know to be the sickening scent of narcotic smoke.

“You think love is going to clean you up and put you back together?” it asks, voice soft and silken. “Wait long enough, patient enough, kind enough, and everything what’s wrong in your life is going to fix itself in miracles and the trust of them others about you?”

You are thrown down and let out a silent cry as the breath is jolted out of you.

“MOTHERFUCKING LIES AND BLASPHEMIES, BROTHER,” the creature roars. “BECAUSE I AM LOVE, AND I AM MIRACLES, AND AIN’T NEITHER OF THEM COMING FOR YOU ELSEWISE!”

You try to speak and fail and try again and what comes out in a faint, almost inaudible squeak is one word: “Liar.”

The limbs rustle in the dark and the white thought of a face peers over your shoulder, close to the blood in your neck. “Ain’t it all miracles, though?” it asks. “Ain’t it love, that I never left you? That I have given you truthful purpose and all the virtues you got need for, any time you asked for them?”

“Liar,” you whisper again, voice shaking but certain.

“AIN’T IT THE MOTHERFUCKING TRUTH THAT SCOURS THE SOUL, THAT LOVE DIES WHILE YOU MOTHERFUCKING WAIT?”

“LIAR!” you scream back, and the white vanishes into the darkness. You’re alone, and you breathe slowly.

“You can all up and be fearful, like what your heart is to feeling in every beat,” whispers the darkness.

“OR YOU CAN TURN TO ME AND BE THE MOTHERFUCKING FEAR!” it howls. You jolt back into wakefulness shaking and tense, the sweat pouring off you like it ain’t never had the chance to before. You’re cold with fright and chill with fever, and you’re curled up over yourself before you can even get to knowing where you are or how you came to be there.

There’s a hand on your back before you’ve got your senses back, getting its rub on and making your skin all prickle up. “It’s okay,” whispers Karkat, and catches you as you turn and fold onto him and shake with what might be tears that ain’t falling or might be rage that ain’t escaped yet. “Shh, I’ve got you- for the fourth fucking time this week, let me add. It’s like having a pet, I swear, you crawl into my bed and then shit it up. Metaphorically. For the love of the deep earth _do not_ shit up my bed literally or I am done putting up with this needy beetlecrap.”

You know the truth of what he’s meaning, and it soothes some of the savagery that’s all up and screaming within you. It’s getting harder, though, so much motherfucking harder. All that Myoc’s told you is running in your head still, but the paint’s been scrubbed from your face and the comfort from your skin. It’s all you can do to hold onto the memory that there’s people got your back over the poisonous longing that fills you like a clinging vine. Somehow Pesh is all up and to being a deeper hold over your life now that it’s gone and the desire for it is crawling into every crack in your being. It don’t seem any kinds of fair to you, but fair never meant a thing and your pounding head, aching bones and shaking hands are an illness whose cure is the same as its cause.

“We should get moving anyway,” Karkat murmurs, and slowly remembrance filters back in. You lift your head and look around the darkened hut, the sleeping mounds of the slaves all about you and the glimmers of moonlight that mark the boards of the walls and the edge of the door. You pull your knees in close and rest your chin up on them while Karkat scrambles off to the nearest humps, waking Terezi and Kanaya with a simple resting of his hand on their shoulder. Light sleepers the both of them, and silent when waking. Ain’t a soul else who stirs when Karkat takes your hand and the four of you trip on over to where the door is being.

While the three of them fiddle with the lock and argue in whispers you do wonder all brief-like why it is that none of you are bound. One lock on a flimsy door don’t seem to be much of anything to keep people in. But then you think on some of the motherfuckers what you saw all about your mother’s house and you remember that the strongest chains are the ones bound all across the mind. You and yours, you’ve got friends on the outside, but these other motherfuckers already done their running and this was where they landed up.

You wonder what would have become of you and your brother, had you run as you intended, if you’d not had Terezi and Jake and Kanaya and Myoc to all see to your safety and tell you all about the things you didn’t have no knowing of. The cold and hollow hole what’s gnawing inside of you swallows that fear, and grows.

The air outside is being warm when you step out to greet it, and the night is speckled by the glow of fire all shining between more wooden huts. There’s shapes moving in the shadows, guards and watchers, but the four of you are born to darkness while they are huddled by the light and watching for those who run out, not in. Terezi leads the way towards the house on the hill, low and sleek and moving like a predator. For all the times she gets that look in her eye what you can’t stand none, all the times she’s thinking herself better than you and anyone, you ain’t got nothing but admiration for the sight of her prowling.

Outside of the daylight, you can get a good look at the house what you’re approaching, and it’s a sight unlike any what you’ve seen before. Ain’t nothing the like of what you’ve seen in Golgesi or the Dwarf Hold or the mountains, though there’s shades of some of those things about it. It stands up out of the earth like a block that’s been perched atop it, towers on each corner to anchor it down like pins, and rows of windows filled with thick, clear glass are showing you as what it’s a rich place. The ground floor and towers is all stone like as you’ve seen at home, dark and grey and solid. The upper floor is wood, what you hear tell is made from trees, and looks near black in the dark. You ain’t even sure about the roof none, save that it’s not thatch and it’s too slanted to run on. Around the house are gardens, like it’s a farm or somesuch, only it ain’t.

Whole place screams of riches, even if you’ve not got the knowing of their type, and it makes you cold and burning to think on how this motherfucker would want to be stealing such things from your labour.

“Back door,” whispers Karkat, teeth and eyes flashing in the dark, and Terezi nods and guides you all around the back. You get to remembering all them tunnels in your mother’s house what you never knew of until you was using them to escape and miss some of the journey, the time running out of your head between all the cracks that are growing in it.

Back door takes you tiptoeing through a garden, all laid out in squares with neat little paths, and you stare at some plants what has a scent that makes your mouth water and turns your stomach. This time there ain’t no bother given to the lock; Terezi knocks on the door, and Karkat all up and grabs your hand to be sure that you’re facing front.

The door opens on a woman who’s got a fierce fury upon her, but it fades out into irritation when she sees all the four of you stood there. She says something in the overcommon, and you give your all to looking as innocent as what you can.

“Do you speak common?” asks Terezi. The woman all replies up in her own tongue again.

“I don’t believe she does,” says Kanaya. You can _feel_ Terezi grin, even though that sly motherfucker ain’t up and showing on her face.

“We’re here to uncover evidence of your master’s crimes and drag him, willing or not, to justice,” says Terezi. “Can we come in?”

“What the bugbrained fuck are you doing?” Karkat hisses. “Don’t just tell her that!”

“She doesn’t know what I’m saying, Cherry Pop,” says Terezi, with a glance back at your brother. She turns a bright smile on the woman, and grabs Karkat by the shoulder. “So, we’ll just find our own way, then.”

The woman looks all manner of puzzled, but stands aside to let you pass. Terezi drags Karkat, who drags you; you hear Kanaya deliver a politeness as the door closes, and you wonder why when it ain’t going to be understood none.

“She’s going to tell someone,” Karkat mutters as the woman all hurries up past you and opens a small door what you might otherwise have missed. “This plan is stupid and reckless and I regret ever agreeing to it. I must have had betentacled beasts from another plane consuming my brain at the time, because even Past Karkat isn’t enough of a drooling moron to go along with this clusterfuck waiting to happen.”

“Past Karkat was not, and he did,” says Terezi, nodding to the woman and striding through the door. “We all agreed that this plan was the most likely to succeed and the least likely to backfire.”

“And it appears to be functioning perfectly so far,” Kanaya adds. “As we expected, the guards are not watching for slaves who attempt to break _in,_ and anyone who is clearly captive who arrives at the door is assumed to have reason to be there.”

“Breaking _out_ is going to be the hard part,” Terezi says, smirking back over her shoulder at you all. The thing curled up in your gut unwinds to be snarling at her some.

Karkat grumbles some, then sighs. “Fine. Where’s the study? Let’s get this over with fast, before it can explode messily in our faces.”

The narrow corridors you’re walking are long, but they ain’t anything like what you had back in your old home. You emerge out into the study from behind a thick tapestry, an image what isn’t so easily visible with the colours leeched out by darkvision. You huddle by it, fingers sinking into the heavy fabric, as the other three fan out.

“We are most likely looking for a ledger, or correspondence,” says Kanaya. “Anything incriminating will be kept in the most secure location, probably hidden or protected with traps…”

Karkat paused mid-search. “Look, I don’t want to step on your cosy little pro adventurer toes here, but who made a living as a burglar?”

“I was merely attempting to help,” says Kanaya, a little sniffily.

“If you want to help, keep your eyes open for magic,” said Karkat. “Rich, arrogant asshole like this, he’ll have the most expensive hidey-hole he can get.”

Terezi whispers something, and you see a faint blue-green glow pulse in the air around her before she closes her eyes and takes a deep sniff. “There,” she says, pointing to a thick rug what lies on the floor. “I smell mint and embers.”

Karkat drops to his knees and hauls back the rug, revealing a small door cut into the floorboards. “The trap?” he asks. Terezi strides over to the table and, after some slight rummaging, picks up a stick of chalk.

“Hmm,” she says, and licks it thoughtfully. “Yellow, but it will suffice.” She kneels down next to Karkat and starts to sketch on the floorboards. “So, the boundaries of the trap are here…”

When Kanaya all gets on over to joining them, it comes to you as what they ain’t gonna be doing anything much else any time soon. You’ve not got the education nor the aptitude for spellwork and traps, and all you can do is be standing there and watching them work. Like it knows you ain’t got nothing to distract you now, your head gets to hammering and your breath drags up against your lungs like it’s holding on with claws. You have to let go of the tapestry before you tear it, you’re gripping on so tight.

“Hey, my main motherfucking brother,” you call, your voice quiet with more than deliberate softness. “Anything this motherfucker can do to be helping out?”

Karkat glances back at you briefly. “Gamzee? Oh, huh…” he stares around the room for a moment, then points to the door. “Keep watch, I guess?”

“Keep watch,” you echo, but Karkat’s already back to his puzzle of crime and magic, and the only one as looks up when you slink towards the door is Terezi. The look she gives you is nothing what you would describe as kind. It follows you all out into the corridor, where you find that as bad as you was feeling being useless in the room, it ain’t nothing compared to what you’re feeling being alone out here.

They don’t need you. They never motherfucking needed you. You begged to come and now you ain’t any kind of use. The words that your bride-to-be whispered in your ear, purred into you while you was keeping her distracted, come back to you and you wonder what you thought you were going to do on the surface. You ain’t never been no motherfucking use for a thing save a bargaining chip, and a cheap one at that.

You’re on guard so you’re meant to be motherfucking guarding, but your feet want to walk so you do. The hallway is dark and silent, a contrast to the mirthful mayhem inside you that’s begging for release. You wonder if maybe you’re dreaming again, wandering the twisting halls up inside your head. Shit don’t seem real enough for being anything but.

“HOI!”

A blink and he’s there, a man in neat livery who glares at you such that you know he knows you ain’t meant to be here. He opens his mouth to be shouting again and it’s like the world slows down around you; if he calls out, you and yours are going to be caught, and all you’re feeling over and above and around is abject motherfucking terror.

To be fearful or to be feared; the choice is yours, and you make it with a smile that ain’t entirely your own. Reaching out for a nearby vase your fingers close and you fling it; it follows a gentle arc through the air and slams on into him with the strength inside you. You’re already moving forward as it hits, dancing with it, blood rushing and pounding and you feel so motherfucking alive right now that you know you ain’t never gonna die.

He yells, a cry for help, and launches himself at you holding a motherfucking belt knife. It sinks on into you but you don’t care none, you never motherfucking cared, and it’s only shock to him when you grab one of the broken fragments of pottery and stab him right on back. He gets to hollering again and you grab a hold of him, drag him close and cradle him to you as you carve bloody lines into him. You sink down together, his breath bubbling into silence, and you breathe in the heat and the metal and the dead and the living all together and feel whole.

Feet come on running towards you and you let the fury fade, dropping away from it like how Myoc always showed you, but you still can feel it there. The Bard is waiting, beneath your quiet mask, and for once you ain’t feared of him so much as you are waiting.

There’s a monster at your call, and you hold onto that when they come around the corner, five men of which four are guards and one the man you came here for. You lift your head up from the body and grin at the motherfuckers as they gets you surrounded. They don’t look all so happy to be seeing you, dark with night and bright with blood, but you ain’t got a mind to that for the revelry has begun.

He steps forward, the motherfucker whose house this is, looks down at you like he’s been presented with a motherfucking PUZZLE to solve. You can see it all around him, drifting like fog; the security he clings to, the success he craves to ward off the spectre of failure. You will SHOW him MOTHERFUCKING FAILURE, and he will PRAISE YOU with every MOTHERFUCKING BREATH he has left when you’re done.

Your fingers tighten on the blood-slick pottery shard, but before you can act he reaches into his pocket and pulls out something that you’ve the knowing of buried down deep in your flesh, the smell of seared up into your skull. You crawl forwards with a wordless whimper that means nothing and everything. It’s a tight little cake of resin and it’s everything you motherfucking want and more.

MotherFUCKING Pesh. You’d tear it out of you, if you could, but it’s already in too deep.

“Why don’t we make a deal, you and I?” the man asks in undercommon, smiling your own smile back to you like it was meant to be profaned by his lips. “I could have use for a fierce fighter like you, and I think that you could have use for this.”

Your eyes follow the resin cake as he waves it in front of you, and a wordless whimper that means nothing and everything slips out. Your fingernails dig into your palms and you watch through hair that’s gone and been matted with sweat and grime while he all up and ambulates a step closer.

“All you’ve got to do is a few simple little tasks for me,” the man croons. It’s all but hypnotic, is what it is, and part of you is already wanting it. You’re already reaching out with fingers that itch and the empty, sick hole inside you is howling to be fed. But there’s someone else all looking out through you that he ain’t seen, wearing you like a skin, someone cold and sly and so MOTHERFUCKING angry that there ain’t no room left for rage. The world’s all up and lost its straight lines; everything’s in loops, in circles in the air that you know you can dance around if you got your head on right, and if you do then you will be invincible.

“Come with me,” he says, snatching the resin cake back just out of reach and leading you on to follow him, meek and obedient like the best little servant that ever was. You lay your feet one after the other and keep your head down but your eyes up and on him; his guards move around you wary-like, but not a one of them understanding. You want the Pesh, want it like motherfucking air, but the part of you what hates that longing is well wakened and don’t have much fondness for being treated like a hound in need of training. You bide your time, waiting until the motherfucker has led you all back on to his study and pushed the door open.

You don’t feel so much as you’d expect, when you see Karkat held captive. The guards are holding Terezi and Kanaya either side of him, but they ain’t kin to you, and you weren’t expecting to get your grieving on for them overmuch. But Karkat… you look at him, and you motherfucking see it, the truth of what he is. You see that it ain’t the Shanties or the Bloodmark but something deeper and filthier that stains him, spreading to his eyes from the inside out. He looks motherfucking scared, as is right and proper. Beside him, Terezi’s glaring at you to hide the fear you can smell and the weaknesses she don’t want you to know of, and Kanaya is watching you in an assessment you know ain’t gonna come to much of anything. You’re better than them, you realise; ain’t nobody more powerful than you, more blessed or more joyous.

The man who would be your master looks on back at you, all getting his smirk on again. You motherfucking loathe that smirk, hate it deep down in the dark and fractured places inside you, but the world is spinning and the only still place is sitting in his hand. “Kill them, and I’ll consider this the first instalment of your payment,” he says, holding it on out to you.

You grin at him, all teeth and nightmares, and wonder what more you’d hear if your head would all calm its MOTHERFUCKING tits and CHILL ITS SHIT and stop all whirling and twirling about the place. The laughter is motherfucking deafening and you don’t know how they ain’t all heard it already. You step past him, the pottery in your hand all cutting into your skin, and smile at them as might be your victims or may not.

Then your hand all lashes back to stab the shard deep into his throat, and signal the start of the motherfucking show.

Like you expected, that gets the attention of a few motherfuckers. The guards holding Terezi and Kanaya drop them all straight away and come running to attack you, while their comrade drops some heavy motherfucking book and goes to see to his bleeding master. You stab the motherfucker one more time to be certain, pouring in all the strength and anger you got up in you into the blow, and turn away as he drops. You’re in time to see Kanaya make a gesture what you know, what everyone motherfucking knows, and the room goes dark like the deepest kept secrets of the motherfucking earth, too deep even for your eyes to pierce.

You can feel the panic pouring off the surface-dwellers, the uncertainty around and about them. You’re grinning when the next burst of magic arrives, as you knew it would, for even if you were locked in a tower and left to MOTHERFUCKING ROT you was still a noble scion, and taught the tactic. A pale, near-nothing glow of bluish-green lights your flesh, the flesh of the three guards around you, and the dying man what lies at your feet. Terezi’s Faerie Fire, the colour of her Lawkeeping soul, and of course the bitch ain’t got the manners to keep you from the MOTHERFUCKING TARGET ZONE.

Not that you’re caring any. There’s a grunt out in the dark what you are certain is to be Karkat escaping his captor, and then you’re all to fighting at once. Ain’t no kinds of hard to figure on that all of the motherfuckers come to you; you’re the only one they can see, it’s no hardship to them. You let them come, laugh as their blows land and your blood runs, and lash out with the shard in your fist to do the murder that is your motherfucking _hatchright._

You're surrounded by shadows you can't see, but there's a whisper in ancient tongues of the far-below and a hand brushes you with healing; your flesh closes and your wounds seal, and you let out a roar towards the last place where you were being stabbed at. There's a clatter as to metal falling and you lunge out, hitting some motherfucker with all the righteous rage what you got up in you. Blood and fire power your arm and there's screams, in the darkness. You can hear the fighting, know that you got weapons to them as will fight at your side, and grin on the thought of the destruction what you wreak.

Swords fly on past in whistling arcs, but ain't nothing what hits you until the motherfucker what stinks like fear dives a dagger into your side. The primal hate what looks out through you don't let you feel a motherfucking thing, and you pay the little pig-sticker no heed. Another spell of healing washes around you, undoing that blasphemous work and bringing you power that tastes all of sand and sunlight, and you let out a scream of fearsome fury as you and your dark-held passenger miss the motherfucker what you was aiming to gut from crotch to chin.

A moment later he falls, a heavy thud, and you feel the little outcast running by with his hands clenched on slickened metal, a thief of your kill. There's more than magic up and in the air, the thick scent of divinity stinking it all up with blood magic and star magic and chains of iron and paper. You hear them cry out, the outcast and the priestess and the lawkeeper, feel their power boiling off them like yours pours from you. Blows come raining on down from them you can't see and of them you can, one is dragging another out of your reach. You let them go, for there is time to be hunting later, and the fear is a palpable sacrifice.

More magic flies, this carrying the fear of twisted monsters and lonely love to your foes, but then you get your attack on to a motherfucker as is glowing with the Faerie Fire and grin to him when you score the bleeding lines all up across his face. He don't tremble, don't nobody tremble save for the motherfucker what's still getting to trying and stabbing you with his motherfucking knife.

A strike hits you from the front, all lit up in blue-green light, and you stagger somewhat as your life-force leaves you. Your spirit is burning, is screaming, but your body is motherfucking weak and you ain't got nothing to hold it up should it fail you. Then a pulse hits you, a wave of warmth and power what's healing all up through your veins, and you take the moment to hit back that motherfucker what near on brought you to stopping. The effort takes from you the last of your strength and it saps on out of your limbs as the blow don't fall, breath hard and ragged and feeling so terribly mortal.

A sword from out the dark cuts that motherfucker from the other side and he breaks to run, dodging a swipe and all pelting it out to where the door was being. The Blood Child hisses when he's cut with the pigsticker and the rage comes on back to you, swelling up inside you and stretching under your skin. Then you're stretching with it; more healing pours into you, and you can hear the air all up and cracking with the force of legal judgement, and everything in you is growing up into being a motherfucking giant. It's like a skin what's waiting for you, a looming frame what all but bends over to be fitting in under the ceiling.

You're struck on your newly enlarged limbs and the blood drips from your fingers all out to the floor. You ignore the motherfuckers what are scratching at you in shadows and wrap your fingers around the first thing what you're feeling, warm and heavy wood in your palms as you're lifting up the chair. You swing it with all the strength in you, but exhaustion's still there too and you're clumsy for it. You can see the glowing motherfucker what you're aiming to harm- the only one what's still there and lit to see- but he ducks and you miss him too simple. The outcast's blade catches him while he's standing, a blow what does him harm but leaves you with a bitter itch all up in you for what you wanted to be doing yourself.

Slamming out the chair again it batters on into him with a crack what may be wood or bone. You ain't much care to which it is; the giggle spills on out of you, jagged and raw like the violence in your soul, because you have always been a motherfucking disappointment, a waste and a wastrel with layers of falsehood over a rotten core but this feels _right_ like what nothing else never has done. You're still getting your grin on when the motherfucker gets cut on down, blood spreading out as dark as the miracles inside you, and lay on about with your weapon like you ain't never before. They're in the dark, you can hear them motherfucking breathing, and you don't want no more than to snatch that breath out of them in a dance what's as demented as any what you've seen before.

One falls with a cry you can motherfucking hear, and more of your wounds get to closing up with the help of the Priestess. You laugh and spin and slam the chair down on one of them guarding motherfuckers what's been bringing her pain and bring him the hurt what he never thought to feel. There's blood all up on your arms, on your face, in your mouth and eyes, and you ain't knowing what's yours and what's not. All you're feeling is the divine rage up inside you, calmed now but still there to keep you the large nightmare self as what you are for now. You've got it in you to use that in the true and righteous fashion for which it was devised.

A gentle touch all on your hip and you're feeling your strength come flooding on back, like a rest and a second wind and a might to be feared. You swing on at the dark and don't hit nothing; all around you is the clash of metal and feet and harsh breaths. It's motherfucking music to you, chaos and shadows and a deadly farce to match no other. You greet the dark carnival with clumsy strikes until one hits on home and knock a motherfucker back into the waiting swords.

Silence falls like a curtain, and the darkness drops away to show the light beneath. There's bodies lying all about, not all dead but not all living eitherways. There's a shine of sun through a window behind you, showing red all over everywhere.

"Gamzee?" asks Karkat, taking a step towards you. He's got a sword clutched in his hand, and don't seem too injured- not like the other two, stained in living red and cut all about. You take a step on back from him for reasons that ain't so certain to you: his sword clatters down and his hand touches yours, and suddenly you're shrinking, changing from some huge monster down to what's being normal-sized, and all you can wonder on is where it's gone- the rage, the strength, the hurting and the fear. You're too motherfucking tired for anything but being now, and your brother catches you as you're tumbling forwards, wraps himself up around you and lets you lean on into him.

"That was fucking terrifying," he says, as Kanaya walks on past you both and stoops to be picking a somewhat stained book up from the ground. "Seriously. How the fuck did you even do that growing thing? And don't say magic or miracles, you rage-choked asshole, I know that. What I want to know is _how."_

"Dunno, brother," you mutter, heart soaring. He ain't scared of you. You didn't hurt him none. What you feared ain't passed, and what you wanted was made real. Your head rolls around to study the window once again; the light stabs on through you moreso than the dagger what bit your flesh, but you can't help on thinking how beautiful it's being in some way. There's clouds making a grey ceiling, what's stained pink and orange out by the horizon, the colours scattered with depthless blue from beneath. As your eyes come to focus through the haze of new rain, you can all up and see a bridge of sorts across the sky, and you think it might straight-up be the most miraculous sight you ever bore witness of. Colours arc over the horizon, all bleeding to one another, bright and clear and all manner of impossible.

"I hope this ledger is sufficient," says Kanaya, studying the book what she's retrieved. "We may have some... difficulties, elsewise."

"It's motherfucking beautiful," you say, trying to point out to the bridge of colours. Your arm don't want to move none, though, and Karkat ain't looking out the window. You stare at it some more, thinking on how you live in a world where shit like that is possible and happens, and think as how there ain't nothing what you can't do. It's like a motherfucking promise writ across the sky, a guarantee for your freedom. You like that thought, and come to be smiling once again.

"We should get moving," your brother says. "Some of these assholes got away, and I don't want to be here for-"

The door up and opens, and all of you tense for your stolen weapons before in walks a figure what's vaguely familiar to you- the silver lawkeeper with the strong muscles and the blue-dyed leather, stepping on in past a crowd of them as got away all cuffed and held by his kinsmen. Some of them step on in with him, looking around with faces that speak horror and grim resignation and some of no small wonder.

She smiles to him, your lawsis, your enemy and your lover, and you ain't never seen none more victorious. "Ah, good," she says, holding herself like the lawkeeper what she is inside and out. "Officers, it is a good thing you are here. We have uncovered a heinous crime."

From the looks on their faces, you're thinking maybe this was the last thing what they was expecting.

### System Notes

 _1JakoftheMoon1 -_ Gamzee/Dirk/Rose/Sollux/John/Any number of them: Travel down a dark path. Not literally.

 _Ephemeral_Dreamer -_ Gamzee: Fight your inner darkness (optional: literaly)

 _Evi -_ Terezi: F1ND CH4LK 4T 4 CR1M3 SC3N3

 _Evi -_ Terezi: L1CK CH4LK FOR 1NV3STIG4TORY PURPOS3S OBVIOUSLY

 _Ephemeral_Dreamer -_ Terezi: Witness a Crime

 _ttd0000 -_ Karkat: Steal something.

 _UDMonk -_ Gamzee: Have just about ENOUGH of this MOTHERFUCKING WITHDRAWAL SHIT. Wander a way from the group with dark thoughts on your mind. Crack at least one skull open before you are found.

 _ttd0000 -_ Mysterious Slave-ring Leader: This half-dead druggie is near useless. Even at full health he wouldn't be good for work. But he's also a psychotic berserker who will do anything for a hit. He may be worth the trouble after all.

 _Evi -_ Cake: Be a lie, or rather, a kind of mind-influencing drama-adding device.

 _ttd0000 -_ PUPPETEER: AWAKEN

 _UDMonk -_ Gamzee: Resolve a tense situation with good old fashioned BARD DIPLOMACY, be all kinds of MOTHERFUCKING TERRIFYING.

 _Chippy -_ Gamzee: Consider working for the slave ring leader in exchange for pesh, but wind up murdering him and his collegues for trying to manipulate you instead. If those MOTHERFUCKERS think that they can EXPLOIT you like that, then they need TO LEARN A MOTHERFUCKING LESSON. honk.

 _Gman2092 -_ Incredibly STRONG investigator: Make a completely unexpected appearance and locate a certain God-marked legal representative of note, along the way meeting and possibly having a strife with several 100d ruffians along your path.

 _Chippy -_ Gamzee:stop yourself from hurting your friend while in a berserk rage

 _Sethll7 -_ Gamzee: See your first rainbow, appreciate it as a miracle and sign that you will beat back your addiction.

 _Aryashi -_ Gamzee: Fail to get over how MoThEr FuCkInG mIrAcUloUs the sun and sky are even though they still hurts your eyes.

[System Notes](http://celynbrum.tumblr.com/post/70074461757/lodad-system-notes-chapter-81)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I totally used Gamzee's whacked-out narration to get out of thinking up details. In defence of this laziness, _the system notes._ Seriously, that battle took, like, two days to roll out! I decided to skip through this part in one chapter because most of the suggestions I had around it involved Gamzee flipping out and I figured hey, what the hell. It's not like I want to get bogged down anyway! :)
> 
> Good excuse to burn through some hero points, too.
> 
> So, this will be the last LODAD update until the new year, as I am taking Christmas week off. Normal service will resume on **Sunday the 5th of January, 2014.** However, over Christmas I intend to start posting a new story that I already have written, so if you like the idea of a Homestuck/Pacific Rim fic with Karkat and Kankri reluctantly in a Jaeger together, that'll start appearing on the 25th.
> 
> A very merry midwinter to you all, and may the sun return on schedule to bring life back to the earth!


	82. ==> John: Hammer The Point Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Hero point votes:**  
>  Terezi 1  
> Jake 3  
> Gamzee 3
> 
>  **Current Hero Points:**  
>  John 1/5, Rose 3/5, Dave 2/3, Jade 2/3  
> Karkat 2/5, Gamzee 1/3, Terezi 1/5  
>  **Sollux 3/3,** Aradia 2/3, Kanaya 3/5  
>  Jane 2/5, Jake 2/5, Roxy 2/3, Dirk 2/3
> 
>  
> 
> _Note - Next chapter is a level-up, so everyone will recieve 1 Hero Point. Excess Hero Points will be ungiven._

## ==> John: Hammer The Point Home

You’d expected the orc camp to be bustling, but you’re surprised by how big it is. You stop dead on the crest of the hill and have to be shoved back into motion. The chains hanging off your wrists jangle and Rose looks over her shoulder to give you a sharp look. You can’t help snickering slightly; you grew up in an inn, and the dark circles under her eyes are nothing new to you.

“I’m so glad to know that you are entertained by my misery,” says Rose, stumbling slightly as she tries to keep the pace Dirk is setting. You’re all chained together and it’s a terrible idea, because Dirk and Dave keep messing up their walking paces on purpose just to screw with one another, Jane managed to make you wade through a mud patch, and you’re really having to work to resist the temptation just to knock _everyone_ over because it would be funny. Orc warbands do not account for pranking prisoners, as far as you’ve seen.

Your eyes are drawn back to the sea of tents and pavilions laid out ahead of you, and you have a few moments of stomach-churning panic before you manage to wrestle them down again. It’s going to be fine; you’ll all find a way out of this and laugh about it when you retell the story of your adventures. You are definitely, one hundred percent not terrified! Who would even think that? It’s just being kidnapped by a few orcs. Well, a few hundred orcs. Maybe a thousand? That’s a lot of tents.

“I told you you were drinking way much,” says Roxy, behind you.

“She warned you about the drink, bro,” Dave adds.

You can hear Rose’s teeth grinding. “Yes, I am aware of that. Thank you both so much for your input.”

“If you keep clenching your jaw you’ll make your headache worse,” you tell her cheerfully. Rose mutters something in that weird creepy language she speaks sometimes.

“Silence, prisoners!” bellows the lead orc. It’s not the first time he’s said that, and nothing bad has happened yet, but you shut up anyway. It’s hard not to listen to a man with fingerbones for ear-rings.

You arrive at the edge of the tents and see the ditch that’s been dug out and the earthen rampart on the other side. It’s a basic defence, but one that makes a definite “gate”. Two guards watch you as you pass through, painted faces turning to follow your group as you pass. You shudder. You’ve been trying not to look at the faces around you, but every so often you still get a cold chill. There’s something unnerving about the paint, which is probably the point, but you just can’t get past it to the faces underneath.

Bobbing your head backwards and forwards, you manage to catch glimpses of the camp past the burly bodies of your captors. Some of the orcs standing around are painted and more are armed, but most of them are wearing softer leather and doing the sort of ordinary everyday tasks that you remember from back home, like carding wool or carving wood. Small green-skinned children run back and forth between the tents, shouting to one another in the staccato, guttural language you’ve heard the warriors using. It’s all so normal that you can’t help but smile.

You’re shoved into a large pavilion tent and it takes you a few moments to adjust to the dimmer lighting. In that time you’re dragged to the middle and your chains are wrapped around the central pole, which is heavy and thick and more like a mast, really. There’s a thick rug around it that you sink down onto with a sigh, welcoming the rest for your tired feet. Around you the others do likewise; there’s only room for two to a pole, but there are more poles and you’re not that far apart. You wiggle your fingers at Roxy, chained with Rose off to your left, and she giggles as the orcs dump your stuff in a pile by the door and leave.

An elbow digs into your ribs. “We need to think of a way out of this mess, not goof about!” says your sister, brows furrowed slightly.

“And quietly,” adds Dave. “Because a crib this nice is gonna be guarded.”

You take another look around and note that yeah, actually, this tent is pretty nice. There’s a big wooden chair at one end and a pile of really nice-looking furs and woven blankets at the other, and all around the edge are racks and racks of expensive-looking armour, weapons and jewellery.

“I bet there’s some magic swords in there somewhere,” you say, and cast a small smirk at Dave. “You could get one that doesn’t suck.”

“Shut up, my sword is boss,” says Dave.

“Sure it is,” you say, grinning. Jane elbows you in the ribs again and you let out a small huff. “Ow! Fine. How are we going to get out of here? Do you think they’ll let us go if we explain we didn’t mean to trespass?”

“Trespassing ain’t the problem,” says Dirk. You all look to him, but he’s staring up at the roof of the tent. “That puppet was an omen, a harbinger of gods and fate, and seriously bad fucking news. And it led them straight to us.”

Rose stiffened. “But that would mean that they’re…”

“Yeah.” Dirk’s head twisted round towards the door. “Ladies and gentlemen, we have been captured by the followers of the Bard, also known as the the most psychotically violent band of motherfuckers to ever consider breaking open skulls a fun family pastime, and it appears they are on a divinely ordained mission- which usually means a blood-drenched shitstorm. Forget everything you thought you knew about negotiating, because our best bet from here on out is to be as entertaining as possible.”

There’s a pause as you all consider this. “Well,” says Jane, “since you’re the professional entertainer, do you have any handy tips on that front?”

“The difference between tragedy and comedy is distance,” says Dirk. “But since this is the Bard we’re dealing with, that distance is probably delineated as a shorter separation.” He tilts his head. “Try not to act scared.”

You swallow. “Will that help?”

“Probably not.”

The tent flap moves before you can ask any more, and you tense up as the most terrifying person you’ve ever seen ducks into the pavilion. He’s huge, even for an orc; standing upright, the small horns on his headdress scrape the canvas roof, and his shoulders are almost as broad as you are tall. A white, skull-like mask of paint stares at you from under a wild thicket of hair, not all of which is his; dyed streaks of brilliant colour from the headdress tangle with his natural black to make a bizarre halo. His chest is almost bare, and you can see the scars stretched across his muscles as he strolls across the room and drops into the large wooden chair.

The world almost seems to bend in around the huge orc, pulling your attention towards him so strongly that you almost miss the people who follow him in. Most of them are more orcs, faces painted but less scary than they were a minute ago. In the front, however, is a smaller figure who stands out utterly from his surroundings. It takes you a few seconds of staring to realise he’s an elf; there are so few of his kind in Porthaven that even though you should know better you’re still not used to seeing jet-black skin and white hair.

Unlike every other drow you’ve seen, this one isn’t dressed in travelling leathers or armour or tough, weatherproof cloth. He’s wearing clothes in a loose, flowing style you’ve never seen before, rich purple and golden thread, wrapped in a black cloak that shimmers with a veneer of magic.

He stops almost as soon as he’s entered the tent and narrows his eyes at you, then in two quick strides he is at your side. You try to pull back as he reaches for you and crack your head on the tent pole; there’s nothing you can do to stop him from grabbing your chin and staring into your face, brows drawn into a scowl.

“Hey!” You jerk your head aside, pulling your jaw away from his bruising fingers. “Quit it! It’s not like I ever did anything to you!”

The eyebrows shoot up as soon as you start talking and the drow stands, brushing some unseen dirt from his knees.

“Where did you find them?” he asks, looking back to the orc on the throne. The skull-face grins.

“My kin were led to the place of their resting by a hallowed messenger of the Motherfucking Mirthful,” he says, leaning back in his seat. “By His Will only were they found; at the time, they were on a blood-hunt for that motherfucking betrayer that came up into our camp, the one I spoke of when we met.”

“The Aelfen,” the drow says. “You didn’t find him, then?”

The orc on the throne let out a low growl. “It was not the whimsy of the Painted Lord that we should today, but our vengeance will motherfucking find him. He took what was ours under the guise of a guest, and he shall see a fate in accord with his actions, the accursed golden deceiver.”

“Golden?”

Every eye in the room draws to Rose, and she slams her mouth shut with a visible effort. You see a sneer pass over the face of the drow.

“Are they the ones you hunt?” asks skull-face, leaning forwards in his seat. “The boy-”

“It’s not him,” says the drow, casting another look towards you. “Similar, very similar, but I’d know the other one’s voice anywhere.”

Puzzled, you look at Jane, and pale when she mouths Jake. You don’t know how your estranged brother could have fallen foul of this stranger, but you hope he doesn’t find him.

“A motherfucking shame,” says skull-face. “Would’ve liked to send your mistress a gift.”

“Your aid to me is more than enough,” the drow says. “Besides, all may not be lost just yet. This boy is clearly related to the one I seek; he may know something.”

“I don’t know where he is!” you yell. Everyone turns to you, and it takes you a few seconds to realise why all your companions are staring at you like you just tried to pull the seafood joke again. You grin weakly at the drow. “I mean, uh, I don’t know who you’re talking about?”

“Nice try, boy,” says the drow. He grabs your collar and hauls, pulling you uncomfortably against the chains that hold you in place. “Tell me what you know and I may consider bargaining for your life.”

You don’t exactly feel the smirk you direct at him, but he did just pass you a feed line and there’s no way you’re giving up even the little you do know to this creep. “Well, in the beginning, there was the night, and then the Storm Brother woke up…”

He shakes you slightly, and his free hand slaps you across the face. It’s not a gentle parental slap; you had no idea that an open palm could smart so badly, and you’re certain that there will be a bruise. “Don’t think I will stand for such disobedience, boy. You have no choice but to tell me what I want to know.”

“Perhaps not, but this could grow all manner of dull,” says skull-face. The honour guard of orcs shift and make agreeing mumbles. “Mayhap you’d find more luck with the pretty one.” The drow glances back at him, frowning slightly, and the orc elaborates. “You know, the female elf that looks like him, save for the glorious motherfucking curves and the bounteous behind.”

He made _hand gestures._ You duck as far away from Jane as you can and peek back to see her turning a bright shade of pinkish red.

“HOW DARE YOU!” she screams, one of her feet lashing out towards the nearest target- which is the drow, phew, you were worried for a moment there. “You… you uncouth, underhand, uncivilised _ninny!_ I am a perfectly acceptable size and a jolly talented cook and you are a filthy, ugly, mannerless monster of an orc!” To your utter shock and alarm, your sister bursts into tears.

“Um…” you say, but skull-face has already jumped to his feet. Anger pours off him like ale from a jug, dark and heavy.

“Motherfucking bring that bitch up here,” he snarls, and several of the orcs start closing in.

“No!” you yell, and launch your own kick at the drow who dances back out of reach. You don’t have any way to stop them as they grab your sister roughly, unlocking her chains. You can hear the others shouting, Roxy in a panic and Dave levelling threats, and your mind spins desperately through options. Be entertaining, don’t act scared, don’t let them hurt Jane…

“I’ll fight you for her!” you yell, and the tent falls silent. What you said hits you, and you swallow.

“John-” says Dirk. You cut him off before he can finish.

“All of them. I’ll fight you for all of them!” You consider this. “And me.”

Skull-face holds a hand up to his followers and takes a few paces closer to you. You can’t read his expression under all the hair and paint. “You want to motherfucking duel me?” he asks. Mouth dry, you nod, and twitch back when he bursts into sudden raucous laughter.

“If that’s how you want it, that’s what you’ll motherfucking get,” he says, and turns with a snap of his fingers. The drow’s jaw drops as you are unchained.

“You can’t be serious!” he says. “He’s your prisoner!”

“Yes,” says skull-face, pausing in his examination of his racks of weapons. “He’s my motherfucking prisoner, and I can do whatever I’m feeling I want to with him, and right now, that’s a motherfucking duel. You want to be next?”

The drow falls silent, and the large orc chuckles as he selects a club that’s longer than you are high and a basic-looking chestpiece that’s more like a metal shield on straps. Glancing at you, he nods towards the pile of possessions by the entrance. “Well? Motherfucking arm yourself. Ain’t no kind of duel otherwise.”

You scuttle over and grab up your hammer, hefting it and feeling the weight settle across your arms. It’s a big hammer, but it’s dawning on you that he’s a much bigger foe.

The orcs surround you, but none touch you as you’re escorted outside. You blink up at the sun as your friends are dragged out, and with a few guttural shouts from your escort a circle of orcs soon forms up around you. They all look eager, cheerful, as if they’re about to watch some great entertainment. You glance back at your friends and venture a smile.

“You’re a fucking idiot,” says Dave, and you shrug.

“Come on, what’s the worst that could happen?” you say, cheerily ignoring all the possibilities that end with him knocking your head off your shoulders and clear over the surrounding tents.

“Remember, just because he’s big and strong doesn’t mean he isn’t skilled,” says Dirk. “And try to dodge rather than blocking. I wouldn’t be surprised if he can shatter your defences.”

“We totes one hundred percent believe in you,” Roxy adds, looking pale as milk in the midday sun. “For reals, you can do this.”

You nod and turn to head into the circle.

“Don’t die,” says Jane, and you pause mid-step to nod. The crowd roars as you join their leader in the centre of the circle, and both of you heft your weapons.

 _What the hell,_ you think, and give your opponent a friendly nod before extending a gentlemanly hand. The orc stares at it in bafflement for a moment, then a grin splits his face and he takes it, pumping your arm once before letting go. You shake your hand, trying to return any sensation other than bone-crunching pain, and hope that your parents would be proud of you for upholding at least some formalities.

The pair of you step away from one another and the crowd hushes; skull-face hefts his club- that thing is bigger than you are- and shifts his weight. You move first, sliding forwards and swinging your hammer in a powerful blow that hits the orc squarely in the chest and bounces off his dumb little armour piece with a loud ring. He grins at you, and with a slow flourish spins his club over his head and brings it down with an almost unbelievable speed. You try to jump back, but you’re not what he’s aiming for; splinters fly as the heavy, blood-stained club shatters clean through the haft of your warhammer.

You smile back at him, although you suspect your nerves are showing. “Haha, nice hit?” You duck back, dropping the useless chunk of wood and metal in your hands- he hit near the head, the metal is _warped,_ and you don’t have time to panic about the weapon you’ve had for years being rendered scrap because he’s still advancing. He growls, low and rumbling, and you bump into something that rattles- one of the weapon racks that sits around his tent. Your fingers close around the haft of a new weapon, and you take a steadying breath that seems to surge around you, a dancing breeze that settles close to your skin. Then the breath is knocked out of you as the greatclub swings and you fail to duck away in time. Your armour hardly seems to absorb the blow at all; the mail links slam into your skin like tiny knives, and there’s an organic crunch as your ribcage goes the way of your warhammer. Light flashes, and as you blink and gasp and stagger back a blue light settles over your armour. The pain doesn’t fade, but the weapon in your hands suddenly feels a whole lot lighter.

You heft the thing you’re holding and blink in surprise as the immense hammer moves in your hands like it weighs nothing. It’s a Lucerne hammer, huge and heavy and long and not meant to be wielded like this, and with a gleeful whoop you slide back a step to give yourself room and swing the blunt end into the advancing orc with a graceful slam that sends him skidding nearly two yards. Growling, skull-face stops in a crouch then lunges forward; the new hammer spins around your head and meets him in midair. For a moment he almost seems to fold around it, then he falls back again; the crowd around you is practically screaming, and your opponent smiles at you with teeth that are streaked with his own blood.

Part of you wants to stop it here, but he’s already tightening his grip on his club and you can’t take another blow from that thing. You close the distance you’ve made and bring the Lucerne hammer over your head. It falls, and for a moment you feel like the stillness at the centre of the gale, just long enough to wonder what you were thinking before the heavy blunt end smashes bone and pulps flesh.

You stagger back, torn between horror at the mess you’ve made of a living person and wild, triumphant exhilaration as the crowd roars, but then you nearly drop dead on the spot when the orc _moves._ He shouldn’t even be alive in that state, let alone conscious, but instead he levers himself to his knees and drops his club, smiling at you as he nods once in gracious defeat. You’re still stunned when two orcs push their way out of the crowd, a man and a woman who look like the other warriors but are apparently something more if the spells of healing they cast are anything to judge by. You try to drop back unobtrusively, but are quickly surrounded by cheering fans who want to slam you on the back and jar your shattered ribs, ow, seriously?

“Everyone, out of the way,” says Rose’s voice, and you must have been super impressive or else she’s scary across all borders of culture and species because half a dozen orcs twice her size part to let her through. You sigh in relief and droop onto her as she utters a spell and it gushes through your body, golden healing light that immediately does something about the cloud of razor gravel in your chest.

“I love you,” you tell her. “You are the best friend, it is you. I am so over Dave.”

“Faithless hussy,” says Dave, strolling up. “Tearing my heart out and spitting on it like that, how could you. I’m wounded. Rose, don’t let him do this to me, I can’t take the agony.”

“Somehow, I am convinced you will survive the experience,” says Rose, with a fond little smile that somehow has you smiling too. The magic around you is fading and the Lucerne hammer is _heavy_ and you just won a duel against the biggest, scariest orc you ever saw. You are fairly convinced that makes you the most badass, an impression that is only confirmed when Dirk gives you an approving nod. Then you’re nearly knocked off your feet by a low-flying tackle-hug.

“That was so incredible!” Jane squeals into your shoulder. Then your sister steps back, narrows her eyes, and jabs her finger into your belly. “Don’t you _ever_ … scare… me… like… that… again!” Each word is punctuated with another jab, and you wince.

“Okay, you can fight the next one!” you say, and she huffs and then somehow the two of you are having a slap-battle which she wins on account of not having a crushed torso. She’s a cheater, and you tell her that, and she sticks her tongue out and you grab her into a hug _because._

Rose clears her throat to give you warning, and you turn to find skull-face looming a few feet away. It takes a lot of effort and some cracked ribs not to squeak and jump back, because even supported by worried-looking healers on each side he’s a scary guy.

“You’re a gutsy motherfucker,” he says. “The Painted Lord likes that.”

You don’t know who he’s talking about, but you have the uncomfortable feeling that it would be a bad idea to admit that. “Um, thanks,” you say instead. “You were tough too?”

From the way he nods, you said the right thing. “Think as I promised, you’ll all be walking free now,” he says, loud enough for everyone to hear. “But I got a proposition, if you’ve a mind for it.”

“What sort of proposition?” asks Dirk, before you can politely decline having anything to do with it.

Skull-face nods towards Rose. “You got an interest in that thieving golden motherfucker as took what was ours by right?”

“An Aelfen, correct?” says Rose. The orc nods, leans in, and points in a north-westerly direction.

“He went thataway,” he says in a stage whisper. “You bring back what’s ours, and we’ll see you safe as to where you’re headed.”

Rose nods solemnly. “Thank you for that kind offer,” she says. “We will have to think on it, of course, but it really is most generous.”

“Sure motherfucking is,” says skull-face, slumping back onto his healers. “Get me the fuck out of here,” he growls to them, and their small procession turns and starts to limp away. You watch them go, then turn back to your friends.

“So are we going to do it?” you ask.

“Personally, I’d rather steer clear of this bothersome lot,” says Jane. “They’re rather, um, boisterous?”

“Which means they’d make good bodyguards,” Dave points out. “Not that I don’t think we can make it across orc lands ourselves, but I ain’t keen on repeating this little sideshow every few days.”

“And I would like to at least investigate this thief and see if they are the mysterious herald who told the kobolds of our impending arrival,” says Rose, frowning faintly.

“Not that I don’t think this a critical rap we’re having here, but aren’t we all missing something hella crucial?” asks Dirk. “Or rather, some _one.”_ You all look at him, and he turns his head in an exaggerated parody of looking. “Where the fuck is Roxy?”

A quick search of the area turns up nothing but an abandoned tangle of rope, some slightly confused orcs, and a growing sense of panic in your gut as you realise that she is nowhere to be found.

### Suggestions Used

 _Aryashi -_ Rose: Learn that being a Seer with a hangover suuuuuuucks

 _ttd0000 -_ Jane: Take a, lets say orc's, well meaning compliment relating to your overall size, particularly pertaining to the area where your back meets your legs, as an insult. React accordingly.

 _Ephemeral_Dreamer -_ John: Challenge the Ork Warboss to a duel for the freedom of your friends

 _MASK –_ John: be an upstanding gentleman worthy of your family's pride.

 _Btchplease -_ John: DODGE, DIVE, DUCK, DOWN, AND DODGE [paynomind - if youre making a dodgeball refernece i believe its "dodge, duck, dip, dive, and dodge"]

 _Ms Arano -_ John: retrieve weapon. ... or at least, what is left of it.

 _bbc -_ John: accidentally trip over a magic hammer and cling possessively to it

 _HUNRonin -_ John: Get stabbed in the chest(non-fatly).

 _Wizardtatas -_ John: Hulk out

 _dungygus -_ John: Demonstrate unnatural strength

 _Wizardtaytays -_ John: Smash somebody out of midair, Shao Khan style

 _ttd0000 -_ John: Hammer the point home.

 _Chippy -_ Roxy: Escape from captivity while nobody is looking

 _randomunintelligiblewords -_ Rose: find out more about the mysterious Golden Elf who's been reverse-stalking your group.

[System Notes](http://celynbrum.tumblr.com/post/72318645592/lodad-system-notes-chapter-82)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WHERE DID ROXY GO!!! :O A mystery for later, bwahahahaha...
> 
> So! Firstly, a couple of links! [These](http://www.rangerdj.com/clipart/indian/warhammer.jpg) [are](http://klio.icurus.jp/kck-dic/dic_pics/a04/a04-3.jpg) [Lucerne](http://www.survivalcampingstore.com/assets/images/war-hammer.jpg) [Hammers](http://www.medievalwarfare.info/pics/warhammer.jpg). [This is the orc John fought](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/bestiary/npc-s/npc-3/orc-barbarian-4) (except with a greatclub instead of a greataxe and the Sunder feat rather than Cleave). And who wants to take a guess as to what spell his armour cast on him in the heat of battle?
> 
> There is also an example of GM fiddling in the System Notes this chapter: when Skullface the Orc is knocked back the first time by John, he chooses to advance then attack rather than charge. Why is this, when charging was a more tactically sensible option?
> 
> Firstly, from the hit points they had and the damage they were doing, John couldn't really take another blow. Giving him the chance to land an AOO vastly increased his survival chances without guaranteeing them, so I took it.
> 
> Secondly, the suggestion that John "Smash somebody out of midair" wasn't gonna happen outside of an AOO. Again, I needed to create that opportunity.
> 
> Thirdly, I could totes justify it as Skullface being an arrogant asshole who didn't care if he got hit or hurt as long as it was a good fight. So I did.
> 
> No fudged dice. Just a sub-optimal tactical decision. Ain't you glad I'd rather torture characters than kill 'em? :)
> 
> EDIT: Having examined John's character sheet more closely, I have no idea where the balls I got some of the numbers from, but they ain't quite right. They're close enough, though, and the last blow was decisive enough that the slight changes in the bonuses won't make much difference, so I'm leaving it alone.


	83. -- LEVEL FIVE --

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Hero point votes:**  
>  Terezi 1  
> Jake 3  
> Gamzee 3  
> A DRAW HAS OCCURRED! D20 Roll - Odds for Jake, Evens for Gamzee  
> ROLL OF 4 - GAMZEE GAINS ONE HERO POINT!  
> Voting now open for the next Hero Point award: one person will get one after three chapters. 
> 
> **Current Hero Points:**  
>  John 2/5, Rose 4/5, **Dave 3/3** , **Jade 3/3**  
>  Karkat 3/5, **Gamzee 3/3** , Terezi 2/5  
>  **Sollux 3/3** , **Aradia 3/3** , Kanaya 4/5  
> Jane 3/5, Jake 3/5, **Roxy 3/3** , **Dirk 3/3**

JOHN EGBERT [FIGHTER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/fighter.html#_fighter) ([TWO-HANDED FIGHTER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/fighter.html#_two-handed-fighter)) 5  
NEUTRAL GOOD

TL:DR – John has gained two new abilities! Firstly, he is better at hitting and damaging with hammers (but not Lucerne Hammers, because they are apparently polearms and not hammers at all). Secondly, he is now really good at knocking people out rather than killing them. Hooray! Also he has magic armour and an awesome boss polearm/hammer since last level. Also... he can now do THE WINDY THING. Sorta.

[](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/ifq3a0iaj1lxr36/John%20Egbert.png?dl=0)

BASIC STATISTICS  
GENDER: Male  
HAIR/EYES: Black hair, blue eyes  
HOMELAND: City of Porthaven (Outer Ring)  
DEITY: The Heir of Breath  
LANGUAGES: Common, High Elven  
RACE: Tuatha (High Elf)

ATTRIBUTES  
STRENGTH: 15[+2]  
DEXTERITY: 13[+1]  
CONSTITUTION: 12[+1]  
INTELLIGENCE: 10[+0]  
WISDOM: 12[+1]  
CHARISMA: 13[+1]

HIT POINTS: 39/39  
HERO POINTS: 2/5  
INITIATIVE: +1  
BASE SPEED/S: 30ft (land)

ARMOUR CLASS [AC]: 16  
TOUCH AC: 11  
FLAT-FOOTED AC: 15

BASE ATTACK BONUS [BAB]: +5  
BASIC MELEE ATTACK: +7  
BASIC RANGED ATTACK: +6  
COMBAT MANEUVER BONUS [CMB]: +7 (+8 for Sundering)  
COMBAT MANEUVER DEFENCE [CMD]: 18 (19 for Sundering)

SAVES  
FORTITUDE: +6  
REFLEX: +3  
WILL: +3

[WEAPONS/ATTACKS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_weapon-descriptions)  
[+1 LUCERNE HAMMER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/advancedGear.html#_lucerne-hammer) \- Magical. Wielded two-handed and technically a polearm, this weapon has greater reach than most, a spike on the reverse of the head, and is also FUCKING TERRIFYING.  
[DAGGER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_dagger) \- Can be thrown, range 10ft.

EQUIPMENT - [CARRYING CAPACITY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/additionalRules.html#_carrying-capacity) (STR 16)

EQUIPMENT - ITEM SLOTS  
CLOTHING: ARTISAN'S OUTFIT  
This outfit consists of a shirt with buttons, drawstring pants, shoes, and a slightly battered hat. It also includes a belt for carrying small items such as a money pouch.

ARMOUR: CHAIN SHIRT OF SPELL-STORING DEFENCE +1  
+5 armour bonus, +4 max DEX bonus, -1 Armour Check Penalty, 20% Arcane Spell Failure Chance, LIGHT  
SPECIAL: This variant on [Spell-Storing Armour](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/magicArmsAndArmor/armorSpecialAbilities.html#_spell-storing) allows a spellcaster to store a single beneficial touch spell of up to 2rd level in it. Any time a creature hits the wearer with a melee attack or melee touch attack, the armour can cast the spell on the wearer as a swift action if the wearer desires. Once the spell has been cast from the armour, a spellcaster can cast any other beneficial touch spell of up to 3rd level into it. The armour magically imparts to the wielder the name of the spell currently stored within it.

EQUIPMENT - POSSESSIONS  
+1 Lucerne Hammer 12lbs, Chain Shirt of Spell-Storing Defence +1 25lbs, Dagger 1lb, Waterskin 4lbs, Masterwork Studded Leather 20lbs

>BACKPACK, MASTERWORK 4lbs (Capacity 60lbs, +1 STR to carry loads)  
Tent (Medium, 2 people) 30lbs, Bedroll 5lbs, Parade Armour 20lbs

>POUCH, BELT 0.5lbs (Capacity 10lbs)  
Flint and Steel, Bird Feather Token [x2], Itching Powder [x1] 2lbs

TOTAL 125.5lbs (66.5lbs without backpack)

EQUIPMENT - MONEY  
0CP, 6SP, 60GP, 0PP  
OTHER:

SKILLS  
TRAINED  
BLUFF +5(4), DIPLOMACY +5(4), +KNOWLEDGE(DUNGEONEERING) +7(4), +PROFESSION(PORTHAVEN GUARD) +5(1)

UNTRAINED  
ACROBATICS +1*, APPRAISE +0, +CLIMB +2*, +CRAFT +0, DISGUISE +1, ESCAPE ARTIST +1*, HEAL +1, +INTIMIDATE +1, PERCEPTION +3, PERFORM +1, +RIDE +1*, SENSE MOTIVE +1, STEALTH +1*, +SURVIVAL +1, +SWIM +2*  
(FLY +1*)

*Armour Check Penalty: Skill at –0 due to armour worn.  
+Class Skill

FEATS  
[POWER ATTACK [REQUIRES: STR 13, BAB+1]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_power-attack)  
The character can make exceptionally deadly melee attacks by sacrificing accuracy for strength.

[FURIOUS FOCUS [REQUIRES: POWER ATTACK]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/advancedFeats.html#_furious-focus)   
Even in the midst of fierce and furious blows, the character can find focus in the carnage and his seemingly wild blows strike home.

[BLUDGEONER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/ultimateCombatFeats.html#_bludgeoner)   
The character can knock foes out cold with just about any blunt instrument.

[RACIAL ABILITIES: ELVEN](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advancedRaceGuide/coreRaces/elves.html#_elf-racial-traits)  
LANGUAGES - Tuatha begin play speaking Common and High Elven. Tuatha with high Intelligence scores can choose from the following: Celestial, Draconic, Gnoll, Gnome, Goblin, Orc, and Sylvan.

SPECIAL ABILITIES  
GODMARKED  
[HERO’S FORTUNE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/advancedNewRules.html#_hero's-fortune) \- Even at the start of his career, it was clear that the character had a chance at greatness, and his legend continues to grow with every adventure.  
[DEFLECTION AURA](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/cleric.html#_deflection-aura) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) - The character can emit an aura that makes nearby allies harder to hit for a short time dependent on his character level.  
EXTRA - The character receives a +1 resistance bonus on saving throws. This bonus increases by +1 for every 5 levels he possesses.  
[WHISPERING WIND](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/whisperingWind.html#_whispering-wind) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (2 USES/DAY) - Sends a short message 1 mile/level.  
[WIND WALL](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/windWall.html#_wind-wall) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – The character can summon the breeze to deflect arrows, smaller creatures, and gases.

CLASS FEATURES  
WEAPON AND ARMOUR PROFICIENCY: FIGHTER  
A fighter is proficient with all simple and martial weapons and with all armour (heavy, light, and medium) and shields (including tower shields).

FEAT: [CLEAVE [REQUIRES: POWER ATTACK]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_cleave)  
The fighter can strike two adjacent foes with a single swing.

FEAT: [GREAT CLEAVE [REQUIRES: CLEAVE, BAB +4]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_great-cleave)  
The fighter can strike many adjacent foes with a single blow.

FEAT: [PUSHING ASSAULT [REQUIRES: STR 15, POWER ATTACK, BAB +1]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/advancedFeats.html#_pushing-assault)  
A strike made with a two-handed weapon can push a similar sized opponent backward.

[SHATTERING STRIKE (+1)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/fighter.html#_shattering-strike) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
At 2nd level, the two-handed fighter gains a bonus to sunder attempts and on damage rolls made against objects. 

[OVERHAND CHOP [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/fighter.html#_overhand-chop)  
At 3rd level, a two-handed fighter making a single attack with a two-handed weapon strikes more powerfully.

[WEAPON TRAINING (HAMMERS) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/fighter.html#_weapon-training)  
_NB: Lucerne Hammers are part of the “Polearms” Group, and not the “Hammers” Group._  
At 5th level, the two-handed fighter selects a group of [two-handed melee weapons](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/fighter.html#_two-handed-fighter) with which he can hit harder and more accurately.

* * *

ROSE LALONDE [ORACLE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/baseClasses/oracle.html) \- [DARK TAPESTRY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spellcastingClassOptions/oracle.html#_dark-tapestry) ([SEER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spellcastingClassOptions/oracle.html#_seer_\(archetype\))) 5  
TRUE NEUTRAL

TL:DR – Rose has more cool seeing-the future powers, and should she choose to she can instantly grow claws and attack with them! Cool!

[](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/2xms34m23czb9zu/Rose%20Lalonde.png?dl=0)

BASIC STATISTICS  
GENDER: Female  
HAIR/EYES: Blonde hair, purple eyes  
HOMELAND: City of Porthaven (Temple District)  
DEITY: The Seer of Light  
LANGUAGES: Common, Celestial, Abyssal, Draconic, Sylvan  
RACE: Aasimar

ATTRIBUTES  
STRENGTH: 8[-1]  
DEXTERITY: 12[+1]  
CONSTITUTION: 10[+0]  
INTELLIGENCE: 14[+2]  
WISDOM: 15[+2]  
CHARISMA: 18[+4]

HIT POINTS: 30/30  
HERO POINTS: 4/5  
INITIATIVE: +1  
BASE SPEED/S: 30ft (land)

ARMOUR CLASS [AC]: 14  
TOUCH AC: 11  
FLAT-FOOTED AC: 13

BASE ATTACK BONUS [BAB]: +3  
BASIC MELEE ATTACK: +2  
BASIC RANGED ATTACK: +4  
COMBAT MANEUVER BONUS [CMB]: +2  
COMBAT MANEUVER DEFENCE [CMD]: 13

SAVES  
FORTITUDE: +0  
REFLEX: +1  
WILL: +6

[WEAPONS/ATTACKS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_weapon-descriptions)  
[CLAWS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/sorcerer.html#_abyssal) \- Grow instantly, 7 rounds/day, double attack (claw-claw).  
[DAGGER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_dagger) \- Can be thrown, range 10ft.  
[COLOUR SPRAY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/colorSpray.html#_color-spray) [WAND](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/magicItems/wands.html#_wands) (3/Day) – Standard Action to activate, does not provoke Attacks of Opportunity. 

EQUIPMENT - [CARRYING CAPACITY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/additionalRules.html#_carrying-capacity) (STR 8)

EQUIPMENT - ITEM SLOTS  
CLOTHING: ENTERTAINER'S OUTFIT  
This set of flashy- perhaps even gaudy- clothes is for entertaining. While the outfit looks whimsical, its practical design lets the character tumble, dance, walk a tightrope, or just run if the audience turns ugly.

ARMOUR: MASTERWORK STUDDED LEATHER  
+3 armour bonus, +5 max DEX bonus, -0 Armour Check Penalty, 15% Arcane Spell Failure Chance, LIGHT  
SPECIAL: Masterwork armour has an Armour Check Penalty one lower than normal and can be enchanted.

EQUIPMENT - POSSESSIONS  
Colour Spray Wand, Dagger 1lb, Masterwork Studded Leather 20lbs, Waterskin 4lbs, Holy Symbol (Silver) 1lb, Signet Ring

>POUCH, BELT 0.5lbs (Capacity 10lbs)  
Flint and Steel, Sewing Needle, String/Twine [50ft] 0.5lbs

>POUCH, BELT 0.5lbs (Capacity 10lbs)  
Stationary, Sealing Wax 1lb, Ink (Black) [1oz. Vial], Ink (Purple) [1oz. Vial], Inkpen, Journal 1lb

TOTAL 29.5lbs

EQUIPMENT - MONEY  
9CP, 5SP, 17GP, 0PP  
OTHER:

SKILLS  
TRAINED  
+DIPLOMACY +11(3), +INTIMIDATE +10(4), +KNOWLEDGE HISTORY +6(1), +KNOWLEDGE NOBILITY +7(2), +KNOWLEDGE PLANES +12(4), +KNOWLEDGE RELIGION +10(5), +SENSE MOTIVE +10(5), +SPELLCRAFT +10(5), USE MAGIC DEVICE +5(2)

UNTRAINED  
ACROBATICS +1*, APPRAISE +2, BLUFF +3, CLIMB -1*, +CRAFT +2, +DISGUISE +3, ESCAPE ARTIST +1*, +HEAL +2, PERCEPTION +4, PERFORM +3, RIDE +1*, +STEALTH +1*, SURVIVAL +2, SWIM -1*  
(FLY +1*)

*Armour Check Penalty: Skill at –0 due to armour worn.  
+Class Skill

FEATS  
[COMBAT CASTING](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_combat-casting)  
The character is adept at spellcasting when threatened or distracted.

[SKILL FOCUS (KNOWLEDGE PLANES)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_skill-focus)   
The character is particularly adept at the selected skill.

[ELDRITCH HERITAGE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/ultimateMagicFeats.html#_eldritch-heritage) ([ABYSSAL](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/sorcerer.html#_abyssal)) [REQUIRES: CHA 13, SKILL FOCUS (KNOWLEDGE PLANES), CHARACTER LEVEL 3RD]  
The character gains the first-level bloodline power for the selected bloodline, slightly weaker than a sorcerer of equivalent level. In this case, that power is claws.

[RACIAL ABILITIES: AASIMAR](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advancedRaceGuide/featuredRaces/aasimars.html#_aasimar-racial-traits)  
AASIMARS DO NOT COUNT AS OUTSIDERS FOR THE PURPOSE OF THIS SETTING.  
[DAYLIGHT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/daylight.html#_daylight) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Aasimars can touch an object and cause it to shed a brilliant light which drives back even magical darkness.  
LANGUAGES – Aasimars begin play speaking Common and Celestial. Aasimars with high Intelligence scores can choose any of the following bonus languages: Draconic, Dwarven, High Elven, Gnome, Halfling, and Sylvan.

SPECIAL ABILITIES  
GODMARKED  
[HERO’S FORTUNE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/advancedNewRules.html#_hero's-fortune) \- Even at the start of her career, it was clear that the character had a chance at greatness, and her legend continues to grow with every adventure.  
[LORE KEEPER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/cleric.html#_knowledge-domain) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] – The character can touch a creature to learn about its abilities and weaknesses.  
EXTRA – The character treats all Knowledge skills as class skills.  
[TRUE STRIKE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/trueStrike.html#_true-strike) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (2 USES/DAY) - The character gains temporary, intuitive insight into the immediate future during her next attack.  
[AUGERY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/augury.html#_augury) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) - Tells whether a particular action will bring good or bad results in the immediate future.

CLASS FEATURES  
WEAPON AND ARMOUR PROFICIENCY: ORACLE  
Oracles are proficient with all simple weapons, light armour, medium armour, and shields (except tower shields).

[CURSE: TONGUES (Abyssal)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/baseClasses/oracle.html#_tongues)  
Whenever the oracle is in combat, she can only speak and understand the Abyssal tongue. She automatically knows the language and can speak it at other times voluntarily.

[REVELATION: NATURAL DIVINATION [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY] (2 USES/DAY)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/baseClasses/oracle.html#_natural-divination)  
An oracle can read the entrails of a freshly killed animal, interpret the flights of birds, and chart marks in dirt or stone to gain small advantages at some point in the next day.

REVELATION: [GIFT OF PROPHECY [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spellcastingClassOptions/oracle.html#_gift-of-prophecy)(1 USE/DAY)  
Once per day, the Oracle can enter a trance to gain a glimpse of the future equivalent to the benefits of an [divination](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/magic.html#_divination) spell with 90% effectiveness.

SPELLS  
LEVEL 0 [At Will] Save DC 14  
[DETECT MAGIC](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/detectMagic.html#detect-magic), [ENHANCED DIPLOMACY](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/all-spells/e/enhanced-diplomacy), [GUIDANCE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/guidance.html#guidance), [LIGHT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/light.html#light), [READ MAGIC](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/readMagic.html#read-magic), [STABILIZE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/stabilize.html#stabilize)

LEVEL 1 [7/Day] Save DC 15  
[ABADAR'S](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/all-spells/a/abadar-s-truthtelling) [TRUTHTELLING](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/zoneOfTruth.html#zone-of-truth), [CURE LIGHT WOUNDS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/cureLightWounds.html#cure-light-wounds), [ENTROPIC SHIELD](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/entropicShield.html#_entropic-shield), [INFLICT LIGHT WOUNDS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/inflictLightWounds.html#inflict-light-wounds), [EMBRACE DESTINY](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/all-spells/e/embrace-destiny), [WEAPONWAND](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/all-spells/w/weaponwand)

LEVEL 2 [5/Day] Save DC 16  
[ANCESTRAL COMMUNION](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/all-spells/a/ancestral-communion), [CURE MODERATE WOUNDS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/cureModerateWounds.html#_cure-moderate-wounds), [DETECT THOUGHTS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/detectThoughts.html#_detect-thoughts), [INFLICT MODERATE WOUNDS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/inflictModerateWounds.html#_inflict-moderate-wounds)

* * *

DAVE STRIDER [ROGUE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/rogue.html#_rogue) ([SWASHBUCKLER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/rogue.html#_swashbuckler)) 5  
TRUE NEUTRAL

TL:DR – Dave can now draw a weapon at lightning speed, and his ability to fuck up someone's shit when they don't see him coming is 50% more painful. Also his Godmark has granted him the power to make someone keep doing the same thing over and over, because it is annoying and hilarious and timey-wimey.

[](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/uzfpwx30poxj4xj/Dave%20Strider.png?dl=0)

BASIC STATISTICS  
GENDER: Male  
HAIR/EYES: Blonde hair, red eyes  
HOMELAND: City of Porthaven (No Fixed Abode)/The Greenweald Forest Region (No Fixed Abode)  
DEITY: The Knight of Time  
LANGUAGES: Common, Celestial, High Elven  
RACE: Aasimar

ATTRIBUTES  
STRENGTH: 14[+2]  
DEXTERITY: 15[+2]  
CONSTITUTION: 13[+1]  
INTELLIGENCE: 13[+1]  
WISDOM: 12[+1]  
CHARISMA: 10[+0]

HIT POINTS: 35/35  
HERO POINTS: 3/3  
INITIATIVE: +2  
BASE SPEED/S: 30ft (land)

ARMOUR CLASS [AC]: 15  
TOUCH AC: 12  
FLAT-FOOTED AC: 13

BASE ATTACK BONUS [BAB]: +3  
BASIC MELEE ATTACK: +5  
BASIC RANGED ATTACK: +5  
COMBAT MANEUVER BONUS [CMB]: +5  
COMBAT MANEUVER DEFENCE [CMD]: 17

SAVES  
FORTITUDE: +2  
REFLEX: +6  
WILL: +2

[WEAPONS/ATTACKS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_weapon-descriptions)  
CALIBURN (UNKNOWN [BASTARD SWORD](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_bastard-sword)) - This large hand-and-a-half weapon can magically repair itself when broken. Any other qualities of this weapon are as yet unknown.  
[LONGSWORD](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_longsword) \- [Fragile Quality](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/combat/primitiveArmorAndWeapons.html#fragile), can use two-handed for additional damage but cannot use buckler.  
[SHORTSWORD](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_shortsword)  
[DAGGER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_dagger) \- Can be thrown, range 10ft.

EQUIPMENT - [CARRYING CAPACITY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/additionalRules.html#_carrying-capacity) (STR 15)

EQUIPMENT - ITEM SLOTS  
CLOTHING: PICKPOCKET'S OUTFIT + MASK  
Outfitted with concealed pockets, this clothing gives the character a +2 bonus on hiding small objects on his person. It consists of a pull-on shirt with long sleeves, a loose jacket, drawstring pants, boots and a sturdy belt. The mask is an ornately decorated strip of dark fabric with eye-holes, that both mimics and mocks a stereotypical "bandit" mask.

ARMOUR: LEATHER ARMOUR  
+2 armour bonus, +6 max DEX bonus, -0 Armour Check Penalty, 10% Arcane Spell Failure Chance, LIGHT

SHIELD: BUCKLER  
+1 shield bonus, -1 Armour Check Penalty, 5% Arcane Spell Failure Chance  
SPECIAL: The character can use his shield arm to wield a weapon, but takes a -1 penalty on attack rolls while doing so, and loses the +1 shield bonus to AC until his next turn. It is not possible to shield bash with a buckler.

EQUIPMENT - POSSESSIONS  
Caliburn 6lbs, Longsword (Fragile) 4lbs, Shortsword 2lbs, Leather Armour 15lbs, Clothing (Mask, 3gp) 1lb, Buckler 5lbs, Dagger 1lb

>BACKPACK, MASTERWORK 4lbs (Capacity 60lbs, +1 STR to carry loads)  
Tent (Small, 1 person) 20lbs, Bedroll 5lbs, Kit (Cooking) 2lbs

>POUCH, BELT 0.5lbs (Capacity 10lbs)  
Flint and Steel, Whetstone 1lb

>POUCH, PATHFINDER 1lbs (Capacity 10lbs)[Extra-Dimensional Space, Command Word Activated, Does Not Detect As Magical]  
Tools (Thieves') 1lb, Waterskin 4lbs

TOTAL 65.5lbs (34.5lbs without backpack)

EQUIPMENT - MONEY  
8CP, 0SP, 3GP, 0PP  
OTHER:

SKILLS  
TRAINED  
+ACROBATICS +10(5)*, +APPRAISE +9(5), +BLUFF +11(5), +DISABLE DEVICE* +6(1), +ESCAPE ARTIST +10(5)*, +INTIMIDATE +6(3), +KNOWLEDGE LOCAL +6(2), +PERCEPTION +10(4), +PERFORM(ILL BEATS AND SICK FIRES) +8(5), +SLEIGHT OF HAND +7(2)*, +STEALTH +10(5)*, +USE MAGIC DEVICE +8(5)

UNTRAINED  
+CLIMB +2*, +CRAFT +1, +DIPLOMACY +2, +DISGUISE +0, HEAL +1, PERFORM +0, RIDE +2*, +SENSE MOTIVE +1, SURVIVAL +1, +SWIM +2*  
(FLY +2*)

*Armour Check Penalty: Skill at –1 due to armour worn.  
+Class Skill

FEATS  
[ SKILL FOCUS (BLUFF)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_skill-focus)  
The character is particularly adept at the chosen skill.

[DISPOSABLE WEAPON [REQUIRES: BAB+1, WEAPON PROFICIENCY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/ultimateCombatFeats.html#_disposable-weapon)   
The character ignores the limitations of his equipment, striking harder despite the damage it does to his weapon.

[QUICK DRAW [REQUIRES: BAB+1]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_quick-draw)   
The character can draw weapons faster than most.

[RACIAL ABILITIES: AASIMAR](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advancedRaceGuide/featuredRaces/aasimars.html#_aasimar-racial-traits)  
AASIMARS DO NOT COUNT AS OUTSIDERS FOR THE PURPOSE OF THIS SETTING.  
[DAYLIGHT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/daylight.html#_daylight) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Aasimars can touch an object and cause it to shed a brilliant light which drives back even magical darkness.  
LANGUAGES – Aasimars begin play speaking Common and Celestial. Aasimars with high Intelligence scores can choose any of the following bonus languages: Draconic, Dwarven, High Elven, Gnome, Halfling, and Sylvan.

SPECIAL ABILITIES  
GODMARKED  
WEAPON PROFICIENCY (BASTARD SWORD)  
[INSPIRING COMMAND](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/cleric.html#_inspiring-command) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] – The character can issue an inspiring command to his allies, improving their accuracy, defence, and focus for a short time.  
[DEATHWATCH](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/deathwatch.html#_deathwatch) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (2 USES/DAY) - The character can determine the condition of creatures near death within the spell's range.  
[ONE TRACK MIND](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/3rd-party-spells/purple-duck-games/one-track-mind) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) - The target repeats their last action over and over again.

CLASS FEATURES  
WEAPON AND ARMOUR PROFICIENCY: ROGUE  
Rogues are proficient with all simple weapons, plus the hand crossbow, rapier, sap, shortbow, and short sword. They are proficient with light armour, but not with shields.

[MARTIAL TRAINING [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY] (Longsword)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/rogue.html#_martial-training)  
At first level, the swashbuckler may select one martial weapon to add to his list of weapon proficiencies. In addition, he may take the combat trick rogue talent up to two times. 

[SNEAK ATTACK [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY] (+3d6 Precision Damage)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/rogue.html#_sneak-attack)  
A rogue can strike a vital spot for more damage whenever their foe is in a vulnerable position.

[EVASION](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/rogue.html#_evasion-rogue) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
At 2nd level and higher, the rogue can avoid even magical and unusual attacks with great agility.

[DARING [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/rogue.html#_daring)   
At 3rd level, the swashbuckler becomes more nimble and resistant to fear.

[UNCANNY DODGE [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/rogue.html#_uncanny-dodge-rogue)   
At 4th level, the rogue can react to danger before his senses would normally allow him to do so.

ROGUE TALENTS  
[BLEEDING ATTACK](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/rogue.html#_rogue-talents-bleeding-attack) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
A rogue with this ability can cause living opponents to bleed by hitting them with a sneak attack.  
[POWERFUL SNEAK]() [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
A rogue with this ability can take a penalty to attack to treat all 1s on sneak attack damage dice as 2s.

* * *

JADE HARLEY [DRUID](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/druid.html#_druid) ([WOLF SHAMAN](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/druid.html#_wolf-shaman)) 5  
NEUTRAL GOOD

TL:DR – Jade gained the Godly power to locate objects. She also gained third-level spellcasting, a keen, animalistic sense for when shit's gonna go down, and awesome wolf- and dog-summoning powers. Bec got better at running around in the thick of combat.

[ ](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/j3ycsucgf308cn9/Jade%20Harley.png?dl=0)

BASIC STATISTICS  
GENDER: Female  
HAIR/EYES: Black hair, green eyes  
HOMELAND: The Greenweald Forest Region (The Whispering Grove)  
DEITY: The Witch of Space  
LANGUAGES: Common, High Elven, Sylvan, Druidic  
RACE: Tuatha (High Elf)

ATTRIBUTES  
STRENGTH: 8[-1]  
DEXTERITY: 15[+2]  
CONSTITUTION: 12[+1]  
INTELLIGENCE: 12[+1]  
WISDOM: 16[+3]  
CHARISMA: 12[+1]

HIT POINTS: 33/33  
HERO POINTS: 3/3  
INITIATIVE: +4  
BASE SPEED/S: 30ft (land)

ARMOUR CLASS [AC]: 13  
TOUCH AC: 12  
FLAT-FOOTED AC: 11

BASE ATTACK BONUS [BAB]: +3  
BASIC MELEE ATTACK: +2  
BASIC RANGED ATTACK: +5  
COMBAT MANEUVER BONUS [CMB]: +2  
COMBAT MANEUVER DEFENCE [CMD]: 14

SAVES  
FORTITUDE: +5  
REFLEX: +3  
WILL: +6  
+4 to all Saving Throws against the spell-like and supernatural abilities of Fey.

[WEAPONS/ATTACKS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_weapon-descriptions)  
[MASTERWORK MUSKET](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/combat/firearms.html#_musket) \- Ammunition 29 bullets, 29 black powder charges (both required to fire).  
[SLING](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_sling) – Less damage from improvised ammunition.  
[DAGGER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_dagger) \- Can be thrown, range 10ft.

EQUIPMENT - [CARRYING CAPACITY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/additionalRules.html#_carrying-capacity) (STR 16)

EQUIPMENT - ITEM SLOTS  
CLOTHING: TRAVELLER'S OUTFIT  
This set of clothes consists of boots, a wool skirt, a sturdy belt, a shirt with a vest, and an ample cloak with a hood.

ARMOUR: PADDED ARMOUR  
+1 armour bonus, +8 max DEX bonus, -0 Armour Check Penalty, 5% Arcane Spell Failure Chance, LIGHT

SHOULDERS: [MULEBACK CORDS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/magicItems/wondrousItems.html#_muleback-cords)  
These thick leather cords wrap around the wearer's biceps and shoulders; when worn, they make the muscles appear larger than normal and allow her to carry far more than usual.

EQUIPMENT - POSSESSIONS  
Masterwork Musket 9lb, Sling, Padded Armour 10lbs, Muleback Cords 0.25lbs, Dagger 1lb, Waterskin 4lbs

>BACKPACK, COMMON 2lbs (Capacity 60lbs)  
Tent (Small, 1 person) 20lbs, Bedroll 5lbs, Rations (Trail) [x18] 18lbs

>POUCH, BELT 0.5lbs (Capacity 10lbs)  
Flint and Steel, Holly and Mistletoe, Fishhook, Whistle (Silent)

>POUCH, BELT 0.5lbs (Capacity 10lbs)  
Sling Bullets [x20] 10lbs, Firearm Bullets [x30] 0.5lbs 

>POWDER HORN 1lb (Capacity 10 x Black Powder)  
Black Powder [x9] [crafted at 10% cost]

>POWDER HORN 1lb (Capacity 10 x Black Powder)  
Black Powder [x10] [crafted at 10% cost]

>POWDER HORN 1lb (Capacity 10 x Black Powder)  
Black Powder [x10] [crafted at 10% cost]

TOTAL 83.25lbs (36.25lbs without backpack)

EQUIPMENT - MONEY  
0CP, 7SP, 545GP, 0PP  
OTHER:

SKILLS  
TRAINED  
+HEAL +8(1), +HANDLE ANIMAL +9(5), KNOWLEDGE (DUNGEONEERING) +3(2), +KNOWLEDGE(GEOGRAPHY) +7(3), +KNOWLEDGE(NATURE) +11(5), +PERCEPTION +10(3), +SPELLCRAFT +9(5), +SURVIVAL +15(4)

UNTRAINED  
ACROBATICS +2*, APPRAISE +1, BLUFF +1, +CLIMB -1*, +CRAFT +1, DIPLOMACY +1, DISGUISE +1, ESCAPE ARTIST +2*, INTIMIDATE +1, PERFORM +1, +RIDE +2*, SENSE MOTIVE +2, STEALTH +2*, SWIM -1*  
(+FLY +2*)

*Armour Check Penalty: Skill at –0 due to armour worn.  
+Class Skill

FEATS  
[SELF-SUFFICIENT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_self-sufficient)  
The character knows how to get along in the wild and how to effectively treat wounds.

[DEADLY AIM [REQUIRES: DEX 13, BAB +1]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_deadly-aim)   
The character can make exceptionally deadly ranged attacks by pinpointing a foe's weak spot, at the expense of making the attack less likely to succeed.

[ASPECT OF THE BEAST [REQUIRES: WILD SHAPE CLASS FEATURE]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/advancedFeats.html#_aspect-of-the-beast)   
The character has a keen sense of when trouble is brewing, and an animalistic instinct for survival.

[RACIAL ABILITIES: ELVEN](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advancedRaceGuide/coreRaces/elves.html#_elf-racial-traits)  
LANGUAGES - Tuatha begin play speaking Common and High Elven. Tuatha with high Intelligence scores can choose from the following: Celestial, Draconic, Gnoll, Gnome, Goblin, Orc, and Sylvan.

SPECIAL ABILITIES  
GODMARKED  
WEAPON PROFICIENCY (MUSKET)  
[DIVINE VESSEL](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/cleric.html#_divine-vessel) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (4 USES/DAY) – The character can, whenever divine magic is cast on her, grant her nearby allies a boon on one of their next actions.  
[LONGSTRIDER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/longstrider.html#_longstrider) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (2 USES/DAY) - This power gives the character a +10 foot enhancement bonus to her base speed.  
[LOCATE OBJECT ](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/locateObject.html#_locate-object) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) - The character senses the direction towards an object (specific or type).

CLASS FEATURES  
WEAPON AND ARMOUR PROFICIENCY: DRUID  
Druids are proficient with the following weapons: club, dagger, dart, quarterstaff, scimitar, scythe, sickle, shortspear, sling, and spear. They are also proficient with all natural attacks (claw, bite, and so forth) of any form they assume with wild shape.  
Druids are proficient with light and medium armour but are prohibited from wearing metal armour. Druids are proficient with shields (except tower shields) but must use only wooden ones. A druid who wears prohibited armour or uses a prohibited shield is unable to cast druid spells or use any supernatural or spell-like class abilities while doing so, and for 24 hours thereafter.

[SPONTANEOUS CASTING](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/druid.html#_spontaneous-casting-druid)  
A druid can channel stored spell energy to summon a creature to aid her.

[NATURE BOND [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/druid.html#wolf-shaman): ANIMAL COMPANION (BEC, [WOLF](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/monsters/wolf.html#_wolf))  
HIT POINTS: 37/37  
SIZE: Medium SPEED: 50ft  
STR 14[+2], DEX 16[+3], CON 16[+3], INT 2[-4], WIS 12[+1], CHA 6[-2]  
ATTACK:  
BAB: +3 ATTACK: BITE +5 (1d6+2), trip  
CMB: +5  
DEFENCE:  
AC: 19 (Natural Armour +5)  
CMD: 18  
SAVES: FORT 7, REF 7, WILL 2  
SKILLS:  
Survival 2, Perception 5, Intimidate 0  
FEATS:  
[Improved Natural Armour](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/additionalMonsters/monsterFeats.html#improved-natural-armor), [Dodge](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_dodge), [Mobility](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_mobility)  
TRICKS:  
Down – The animal breaks off from combat or otherwise backs down.  
Guard – The animal stays in place and prevents others from approaching.  
SPECIAL ABILITIES:  
[Low-Light Vision](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/glossary.html#_low-light-vision), [Scent](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/glossary.html#_scent), [Link](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/druid.html#_companions-link), [Share Spells](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/druid.html#_companions-share-spells), [Evasion](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/druid.html#_companions-evasion)

NATURE SENSE [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
A druid is more knowledgeable about nature and better able to survive in the wilderness.

WILD EMPATHY [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
A druid can communicate wordlessly with an animal, in the hope of making it more friendly towards the druid and her allies. A wolf shaman is particularly good at communicating with canines.

[WOODLAND STRIDE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/druid.html#_woodland-stride-druid) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
Starting at 2nd level, the druid may move through any sort of undergrowth (such as natural thorns, briars, overgrown areas, and similar terrain) at her normal speed.

[TOTEM TRANSFORMATION](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/druid.html#_wolf-shaman) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (5 MINUTES/DAY, STANDARD ACTION)  
At 2nd level, the wolf shaman may adopt an aspect of the wolf while retaining her normal form. She gains one of the following bonuses:  
>MOVEMENT (+20 enhancement bonus to land speed)  
>SENSES (low-light vision, +4 racial bonus to Survival when tracking by scent)  
>NATURAL WEAPONS (bite [1d4 plus trip], +2 CMB to trip)  
While using totem transformation, the wolf shaman may speak normally and can cast speak with animals (canines only) at will.

[TRACKLESS STEP [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/druid.html#_trackless-step)   
At 3rd level, the druid no longer leaves a trail in natural surroundings and cannot be tracked unless she chooses to be.

[RESIST NATURE'S LURE [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/druid.html#_resist-nature-s-lure)   
Starting at 4th level, a druid becomes more resistant to the magical abilities of fey.

[WILD SHAPE [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/druid.html#_wild-shape)   
At 4th level, a druid gains the ability to turn herself into any small or Medium animal and back again once per day, like the [beast shape I spell](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/beastShape.html#_beast-shape-i).

[TOTEMIC SUMMONS [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/druid.html#_totemic-summons)   
At 5th level, the wolf shaman may cast summon nature’s ally more swiftly when summoning canines, and these summoned canines are tougher proportional to her druid level.

SPELLS  
[DRUID LEVEL 0](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/spell-lists-and-domains/spell-lists---druid#p0) [4 Prepared, At Will] Save DC 13  
+KNOW DIRECTION – You discern north.  
+MENDING – Makes minor repairs on an object.  
+SPARK – Ignites flammable objects. +STABILIZE – Cause a dying creature to stabilize.

[DRUID LEVEL 1](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/spell-lists-and-domains/spell-lists---druid#p1) [4/Day Prepared] Save DC 14  
+++CURE LIGHT WOUNDS – Cures 1d8 damage +1/level (max +5).  
+ENTANGLE - Plants entangle everyone in 40-ft. radius.

[DRUID LEVEL 2](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/spell-lists-and-domains/spell-lists---druid#p2) [3/Day Prepared] Save DC 15  
+FOREST FRIEND - Plants in a forested area become helpful instead of hindering you and your allies.  
++WILDERNESS SOLDIERS – Nearby plants aid you in combat.

[DRUID LEVEL 3](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/spell-lists-and-domains/spell-lists---druid#TOC-3rd-Level-Druid-Spells) [2/Day Prepared] Save DC 16  
+CURE MODERATE WOUNDS - Cures 2d8 damage +1/level (max +10).  
+RAIN OF FROGS – Summon a swarm of poisonous frogs.

* * *

KARKAT VANTAS [FIGHTER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/fighter.html#_fighter) ([MOBILE FIGHTER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/fighter.html#_mobile-fighter)) 5  
TRUE NEUTRAL

TL:DR – Karkat is now very good at tripping people and not being tripped himself. He hits harder when he moves first, and his Godmark has given him the ability to take damage for other people so they don't have to.

[](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/11umnvjokvfc600/Karkat%20Vantas.png?dl=0)

BASIC STATISTICS  
GENDER: Male  
HAIR/EYES: White hair, red eyes  
HOMELAND: City of Golgesi (The Shanties)  
DEITY: The Knight of Blood  
LANGUAGES: Undercommon, High Elven, Drow Sign Language  
RACE: Drow (Dark Elf)

ATTRIBUTES  
STRENGTH: 14[+2]  
DEXTERITY: 17[+3]  
CONSTITUTION: 11[+0]  
INTELLIGENCE: 13[+1]  
WISDOM: 8[-1]  
CHARISMA: 12[+1]

HIT POINTS: 33/33  
HERO POINTS: 3/5  
INITIATIVE: +3  
BASE SPEED/S: 30ft (land)

ARMOUR CLASS [AC]: 18  
TOUCH AC: 14  
FLAT-FOOTED AC: 14

BASE ATTACK BONUS [BAB]: +5  
BASIC MELEE ATTACK: +7  
BASIC RANGED ATTACK: +8  
COMBAT MANEUVER BONUS [CMB]: +7 (+9 for Tripping)  
COMBAT MANEUVER DEFENCE [CMD]: 20 (+22 for Tripping)

SAVES  
+1 vs effects that cause paralysis, slowing, or entanglement  
FORTITUDE: +4  
REFLEX: +4  
WILL: +0

[WEAPONS/ATTACKS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_weapon-descriptions)  
**_+1 ATTACK AND DAMAGE WHEN AT LEAST 5 FEET MOVED PRIOR TO ATTACKING._**  
[DUAL MASTERWORK SICKLES](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_sickle) – Two attacks a round at a reduced attack bonus, or one attack a round at normal attack bonus. This is a [trip](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/equipment.html#_trip) weapon.  
[DAGGER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_dagger) \- Can be thrown, range 10ft.

EQUIPMENT - [CARRYING CAPACITY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/additionalRules.html#_carrying-capacity) (STR 15)

EQUIPMENT - ITEM SLOTS  
CLOTHING: TRAVELLER'S OUTFIT  
This set of clothes consists of boots, a wool skirt or breeches, a sturdy belt, a shirt (perhaps with a vest or jacket), and an ample coat with a hood.

ARMOUR: MASTERWORK MITHRAL CHAIN SHIRT  
+4 armour bonus, +7 max DEX bonus, -0 Armour Check Penalty, 10% Arcane Spell Failure Chance, LIGHT  
SPECIAL: An item made from mithral weighs half as much as the same item made from other metals. Masterwork armour has an Armour Check Penalty one lower than normal and can be enchanted.

EQUIPMENT - POSSESSIONS  
Sickle [x2] 4lbs, Masterwork Mithral Chain Shirt 12.5lbs, Dagger 1lb, Waterskin 4lbs

>BACKPACK, MASTERWORK 4lbs (Capacity 60lbs, +1 STR to carry loads)  
Blanket (Common) 1lb, Rations (Trail) [x18] 18lb, Pesh Dose [x1], Compass 0.5lbs, Karkat's Tattered Journal 3lbs

>POUCH, BELT 0.5lbs (Capacity 10lbs)  
Flint and Steel, Charcoal Stick [x2], Whetstone 1lb, Potion of Remove Curse [x1], Potion of Cure Light Wounds [x1]

TOTAL 55.5lbs (21lbs without backpack)

EQUIPMENT - MONEY  
0CP, 0SP, 500GP, 0PP  
OTHER:

SKILLS  
TRAINED  
ACROBATICS +7(4)*, +CLIMB +6(1)*, DIPLOMACY +2 (1), +INTIMIDATE +7(3), KNOWLEDGE(LOCAL) +1(1), PERCEPTION +5(4), SENSE MOTIVE +4(5)

UNTRAINED  
APPRAISE +0, BLUFF +1, +CRAFT +0, DISGUISE +1, ESCAPE ARTIST +3*, HEAL -1, PERFORM +1, +RIDE +3*, STEALTH +3*, +SURVIVAL -1, +SWIM +2*  
(FLY +3*)

*Armour Check Penalty: Skill at –0 due to armour worn.  
+Class Skill

FEATS  
[COMBAT REFLEXES](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_combat-reflexes)  
The character can make additional attacks of opportunity.

[DODGE [REQUIRES: DEX 13]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_dodge)   
The character's training and reflexes allow him to react swiftly to avoid an opponents' attacks.

[IMPROVED TRIP [REQUIRES: INT 13, COMBAT EXPERTISE]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_improved-trip)   
The character is good at sending his opponents to the ground.

[RACIAL ABILITIES: DROW](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advancedRaceGuide/featuredRaces/drow.html#_drow-racial-traits)  
[DANCING LIGHTS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/dancingLights.html#_dancing-lights) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Drow can create up to four illusory lights and direct their motion.  
[DARKNESS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/darkness.html#_darkness) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Drow can touch an object and cause it to radiate a deep darkness that dims even magical light.  
[FAERIE FIRE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/faerieFire.html#_faerie-fire) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Drow can cause a person to glow with a pale fire that clings to them even if they are not otherwise visible.  
LANGUAGES - Drow begin play speaking Undercommon and High Elven. Drow with high Intelligence can choose bonus languages from the following: Common, Dark Folk, Draconic, Drow Sign Language, Dwarven, Gnome, Goblin or Infernal.

SPECIAL ABILITIES  
GODMARKED  
[HERO’S FORTUNE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/advancedNewRules.html#_hero's-fortune) \- Even at the start of his career, it was clear that the character had a chance at greatness, and his legend continues to grow with every adventure.  
[INSPIRING COMMAND](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/cleric.html#_inspiring-command) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] – The character can issue an inspiring command to his allies, improving their accuracy, defence, and focus for a short time.  
[ALARM](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/alarm.html#_alarm) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (2 USES/DAY) - Alarm creates a subtle ward on a selected area.  
[SHIELD OTHER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/shieldOther.html#_shield-other) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) - The character takes half the damage dealt to their target.

CLASS FEATURES  
WEAPON AND ARMOUR PROFICIENCY: FIGHTER  
A fighter is proficient with all simple and martial weapons and with all armour (heavy, light, and medium) and shields (including tower shields).

FEAT: [TWO-WEAPON FIGHTING [REQUIRES: DEX 15]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_two-weapon-fighting)  
The fighter can fight with a weapon wielded in each of his hands. He can make one extra attack each round with the secondary weapon.

FEAT: [WEAPON FOCUS (SICKLE) [REQUIRES: WEAPON PROFICIENCY, BAB +1]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_weapon-focus)  
The fighter gains a bonus on all attack rolls he makes using the selected weapon.

FEAT: [COMBAT EXPERTISE [REQUIRES: INT 13]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_combat-expertise)  
The fighter can increase his defence at the expense of his accuracy.

[AGILITY (+1)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/fighter.html#_agility) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
At 2nd level, the mobile fighter gains a bonus on saving throws made against effects that cause him to become paralysed, slowed, or entangled.

[ARMOUR TRAINING [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/fighter.html#_armor-training)   
At 3rd level, the fighter learns to be more manoeuvrable in armour and is less encumbered by heavier armour.

[LEAPING ATTACK [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/fighter.html#_armor-training)   
At 5th level, the mobile fighter becomes more dangerous when they keep moving in combat.

* * *

GAMZEE MAKARA [BARBARIAN](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/barbarian.html#_barbarian) 5  
CHAOTIC NEUTRAL

TL:DR – Well, I messed up last level and this level something spectacular. I've retconned some stuff from last level, which would technically have made him hardier in combat but let's not think about that, and this level Gamzee gets a feat he can't use yet because technically he shouldn't be able to get it at all but I don't have time to look for a new one and it is perfect. Legitimately, though, he gets to be impossible to Sneak Attack.

[](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/2ehz6ry1ylp53ty/Gamzee%20Makara.png?dl=0)

BASIC STATISTICS  
GENDER: Male  
HAIR/EYES: White hair, purple eyes  
HOMELAND: City of Golgesi (House Kutsanmis Enclave)  
DEITY: The Bard of Rage  
LANGUAGES: Undercommon, High Elven  
RACE: Drow (Dark Elf)

ATTRIBUTES  
STRENGTH: 14[+2] (18[+4])  
DEXTERITY: 15[+2]  
CONSTITUTION: 14[+2] (18[+4])  
INTELLIGENCE: 8[-1]  
WISDOM: 12[+1]  
CHARISMA: 12[+1]

HIT POINTS: 49(59)/49(59)  
HERO POINTS: 3/3  
INITIATIVE: +2  
BASE SPEED/S: 40ft (land)

ARMOUR CLASS [AC]: 16(14) [+1 VS TRAPS]  
TOUCH AC: 12(10)  
FLAT-FOOTED AC: 14(12)

BASE ATTACK BONUS [BAB]: +5  
BASIC MELEE ATTACK: +7(9)  
BASIC RANGED ATTACK: +7  
COMBAT MANEUVER BONUS [CMB]: +7(9)  
COMBAT MANEUVER DEFENCE [CMD]: 19(21)

SAVES  
FORTITUDE: +6(8)  
REFLEX: +3 [+1 VS TRAPS]  
WILL: +4(6)

[WEAPONS/ATTACKS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_weapon-descriptions)  
[WARHAMMER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_warhammer)  
[IMPROVISED WEAPONS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/equipment.html#_improvised-weapons) – Attack as per basic ranged or melee attack, and damage as per closest match on the weapon list. There is a +1 circumstance bonus to attack rolls for improvised splash weapons.

EQUIPMENT - [CARRYING CAPACITY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/additionalRules.html#_carrying-capacity) (STR 14/18)

EQUIPMENT - ITEM SLOTS  
CLOTHING: TRAVELLER'S OUTFIT  
This set of clothes consists of boots, wool breeches, a sturdy belt, a shirt (perhaps with a vest or jacket), and an ample coat with a hood.

ARMOUR: HIDE  
+4 armour bonus, +4 max DEX bonus, -3 Armour Check Penalty, 20% Arcane Spell Failure Chance, MEDIUM

EQUIPMENT - POSSESSIONS  
Hide Armour 25lbs, Warhammer 5lbs, Waterskin 4lbs

>[HANDY HAVERSACK](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/magicItems/wondrousItems.html#_handy-haversack) 5lbs (Extradimensional Space, Capacity 80lbs+20lbs+20lbs)  
Tent (Pavilion, 10 people) 50lbs, Rations (Trail) [x20] 20lb  
Bedroll 5lbs, Blanket (Common) 1lb  
Kit (Cooking) 2lbs, Kit (Mess) 1lb, Kit (Gear Maintenance) 2lbs, Kit (Grooming) 2lbs, Kit (Entertainer’s) 3lbs

>POUCH, BELT 0.5lbs (Capacity 10lbs)  
Potion of Cure Light Wounds [x4], Flint and Steel, [Waterproof War Paint Kit](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic-items/3rd-party-magic-items/3rd-party-wondrous-items/4-winds-fantasy-gaming/waterproof-war-paint-kit) 1lb [10 uses] 

TOTAL 40.5lbs (70lbs+6lbs+10lbs in EDS) 

EQUIPMENT - MONEY  
0CP, 8SP, 501GP, 0PP  
OTHER:  


SKILLS  
TRAINED  
+ACROBATICS +6(1)*, BLUFF +3(2), +CRAFT(COOKING) +3(1), +INTIMIDATE +9(5), PERFORM(CHILL RHYMES) +4(3), STEALTH +7(5)*

UNTRAINED  
APPRAISE -1, +CLIMB +2*, +CRAFT +0, DIPLOMACY +1, DISGUISE +1, ESCAPE ARTIST +2*, HEAL +1, +PERCEPTION +1, PERFORM +1, +RIDE +2*, SENSE MOTIVE +1, STEALTH +2*, +SURVIVAL +1, +SWIM +2*  
(FLY +2*)

*Armour Check Penalty: Skill at –3 due to armour worn  
+Class Skill

FEATS  
[THROW ANYTHING](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_throw-anything)  
The character is used to throwing things he has on hand.

[POWER ATTACK [REQUIRES: STR 13, BAB+1]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_power-attack)   
The character can make exceptionally deadly melee attacks by sacrificing accuracy for strength.

[CORNUGON SMASH [REQUIRES: POWER ATTACK, INTIMIDATE 6 RANKS]](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/feats/combat-feats/cornugon-smash-combat)   
Special GM dispensation as I am NOT looking up another feat. Gamzee may gain this feat despite not meeting all prerequisites, but cannot use it until he has the necessary skill ranks.

[RACIAL ABILITIES: DROW](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advancedRaceGuide/featuredRaces/drow.html#_drow-racial-traits)  
[DANCING LIGHTS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/dancingLights.html#_dancing-lights) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Drow can create up to four illusory lights and direct their motion.  
[DARKNESS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/darkness.html#_darkness) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Drow can touch an object and cause it to radiate a deep darkness that dims even magical light.  
[FAERIE FIRE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/faerieFire.html#_faerie-fire) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Drow can cause a person to glow with a pale fire that clings to them even if they are not otherwise visible.  
LANGUAGES - Drow begin play speaking Undercommon and High Elven. Drow with high Intelligence can choose bonus languages from the following: Common, Dark Folk, Draconic, Drow Sign Language, Dwarven, Gnome, Goblin or Infernal.

SPECIAL ABILITIES  
GODMARKED  
CATCH OFF-GUARD: Foes are surprised by the character’s skilled use of unorthodox and improvised weapons.  
[DESTRUCTIVE SMITE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/cleric.html#_destruction-domain) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (4 USES/DAY)– The character can do more damage on a single melee attack, dependent on his character level.  
[ENLARGE PERSON](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/enlargePerson.html#_enlarge-person) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (2 USES/DAY) - This power causes instant growth of a humanoid creature, doubling its height and multiplying its weight by 8.  
[BULL'S STRENGTH](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/bullSStrength.html#_bull-s-strength) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) - The character gains +4 Strength for 1 minute/level.

CLASS FEATURES  
WEAPON AND ARMOUR PROFICIENCY: BARBARIAN  
A barbarian is proficient with all simple and martial weapons, light armour, medium armour and shields (except tower shields).

FAST MOVEMENT [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
A barbarian can move faster than other members of his race, so long as he is not heavily burdened.

[RAGE](paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/barbarian.html#_rage) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY] (14 ROUNDS/DAY)  
A barbarian can call on inner reserves of strength and ferocity, granting him additional combat prowess for a while but exhausting him when spent.

RAGE POWERS  
[INTIMIDATING GLARE [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/barbarian.html#_rage-powers-intimidating-glare)  
While raging, the barbarian can make an Intimidate check against one adjacent foe and attempt to leave them shaken.  
[NO ESCAPE [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/barbarian.html#_rage-powers-no-escape)  
Once per rage, the barbarian can move up to double his normal speed as an immediate action but he can only use this ability when an adjacent foe uses a withdraw action to move away from him.

[UNCANNY DODGE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/barbarian.html#_uncanny-dodge-barbarian) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
At 2nd level, the barbarian gains the ability to react to danger before his senses would normally allow him to do so.

[TRAP SENSE [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/barbarian.html#_trap-sense-barbarian)   
At 3rd level, the barbarian becomes adept at avoiding traps.

[IMPROVED UNCANNY DODGE [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/barbarian.html#_improved-uncanny-dodge-barbarian)   
At 5th level, the barbarian can no longer be flanked or sneak attacked except by a truly skillful rogue.

* * *

TEREZI PYROPE [INQUISITOR](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/baseClasses/inquisitor.html) 5  
LAWFUL NEUTRAL

TL:DR – Terezi is significantly more lethal in one-on-one combat, and with swordcanes. She has a new spell that lets her demand confessions on pain of pain, and a Godmarked power that produces multiple images of her to confuse her foes.

[](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/wl6ml2kzprk9fvd/Terezi%20Pyrope.png?dl=0)

BASIC STATISTICS  
GENDER: Female  
HAIR/EYES: White hair, teal eyes  
HOMELAND: City of Golgesi (Temple Spire)  
DEITY: The Seer of Mind  
LANGUAGES: Undercommon, High Elven, Infernal  
RACE: Drow (Dark Elf)

ATTRIBUTES  
STRENGTH: 10[+0]  
DEXTERITY: 15[+2]  
CONSTITUTION: 12[+1]  
INTELLIGENCE: 12[+1]  
WISDOM: 16[+3]  
CHARISMA: 10[+0]

HIT POINTS: 34/34  
HERO POINTS: 2/5  
INITIATIVE: +5  
BASE SPEED/S: 30ft (land)

ARMOUR CLASS [AC]: 16  
TOUCH AC: 12  
FLAT-FOOTED AC: 14

BASE ATTACK BONUS [BAB]: +3  
BASIC MELEE ATTACK: +3  
BASIC RANGED ATTACK: +5  
COMBAT MANEUVER BONUS [CMB]: +3  
COMBAT MANEUVER DEFENCE [CMD]: 15

SAVES  
FORTITUDE: +5  
REFLEX: +3  
WILL: +7

[WEAPONS/ATTACKS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_weapon-descriptions)  
**_+2 TO ATTACK AND +2D6 DAMAGE WHEN USING THE BANE ABILITY._**  
INCORRUPTIBLE ([SILVERSHEEN](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/equipment---final/special-materials#TOC-Silversheen) [SWORD CANE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/advancedGear.html#_sword-cane)) - A more accurate but less damaging weapon, all but immune to rusting away.  
[SWORD CANE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/advancedGear.html#_sword-cane) \- The blade is well-concealed in the cane.  
[CROSSBOW, LIGHT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_light-crossbow) – 20 ammunition  
[DAGGER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_dagger) \- Can be thrown, range 10ft.

EQUIPMENT - [CARRYING CAPACITY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/additionalRules.html#_carrying-capacity) (STR 10)

EQUIPMENT - ITEM SLOTS  
CLOTHING: EXPLORER'S OUTFIT  
This set of clothes is for someone who never knows what to expect. It includes sturdy boots, leather breeches, a belt, a shirt, gloves and a cloak. The clothes have plenty of pockets (especially the cloak). The outfit also includes any extra accessories the character might need, such as a scarf or a wide-brimmed hat.

ARMOUR: ARMOURED COAT  
+4 armour bonus, +3 max DEX bonus, -2 Armour Check Penalty, 20% Arcane Spell Failure Chance, MEDIUM  
SPECIAL: Can be donned or removed as a move action (there is no “don hastily” option for an armoured coat). If worn over other armour, use the better AC bonus and worse value in all other categories; an armoured coat has no effect if worn with heavy armour. The only magic effects that apply are those worn on top.

EQUIPMENT - POSSESSIONS  
Incorruptible (Silversheen Sword Cane) 4lbs, Crossbow (Light) 4lbs, Bolts (Crossbow) [x40] 4lb, Armoured Coat 20lbs, Eyeglasses, Holy Symbol (Copper) 0.5lb, Dagger 1lb, Waterskin 4lbs

>BACKPACK, COMMON 2lbs (Capacity 60lbs)  
Bedroll 5lb, Blanket (Common) 1lb, Rope (Hemp) [50ft] 10lbs, Sword Cane 4lbs, Manacles 2lbs

>POUCH, BELT 0.5lbs (Capacity 10lbs)  
Flint and Steel, Whetstone 1lb, Bandages of Rapid Recovery 1lb, Potion of Cure Light Wounds [x1], Wound Paste [x3] 0.5lbs, Charcoal Stick [x1], Page of Karkat's Journal

TOTAL 46lbs (30lbs without backpack)

EQUIPMENT - MONEY  
8CP, 9SP, 503GP, 0PP  
OTHER:

SKILLS  
TRAINED  
+BLUFF +8(5), +DIPLOMACY +8(5), +INTIMIDATE +10(5), +KNOWLEDGE DUNGEONEERING +9(5), +KNOWLEDGE LOCAL +6(2), +KNOWLEDGE RELIGION +7(3), +PERCEPTION +11(5), +PROFESSION(GOLGESI LAWKEEPER) +8(2), +SENSE MOTIVE +13(5)

UNTRAINED  
ACROBATICS +2*, APPRAISE +1, +CLIMB +0*, +CRAFT +1, +DISGUISE +0, ESCAPE ARTIST +2*, +HEAL +3, PERFORM +0, +RIDE +2*, STEALTH +2*, SURVIVAL +3, SWIM +0*  
(FLY +2*)

*Armour Check Penalty: Skill at –2 due to armour worn.  
+Class Skill

FEATS  
[BLIND-FIGHT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_blind-fight%0A)  
The character is skilled at attacking opponents that she cannot clearly perceive.

[JUDGMENT SURGE [REQUIRES: JUDGMENT CLASS FEATURE]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/ultimateMagicFeats.html#_judgment-surge) (1 USE/DAY)  
Once per day, the power of the character's faith surges, further empowering her judgements.

[WEAPON FOCUS: (SWORD CANE) [REQUIRES: WEAPON PROFICIENCY, BAB +1]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_weapon-focus) (1 USE/DAY)  
The character gains a +1 bonus on all attack rolls she makes using the selected weapon.

[RACIAL ABILITIES: DROW](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advancedRaceGuide/featuredRaces/drow.html#_drow-racial-traits)  
[DANCING LIGHTS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/dancingLights.html#_dancing-lights) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Drow can create up to four illusory lights and direct their motion.  
[DARKNESS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/darkness.html#_darkness) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Drow can touch an object and cause it to radiate a deep darkness that dims even magical light.  
[FAERIE FIRE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/faerieFire.html#_faerie-fire) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Drow can cause a person to glow with a pale fire that clings to them even if they are not otherwise visible.  
LANGUAGES - Drow begin play speaking Undercommon and High Elven. Drow with high Intelligence can choose bonus languages from the following: Common, Dark Folk, Draconic, Drow Sign Language, Dwarven, Gnome, Goblin or Infernal.

SPECIAL ABILITIES  
GODMARKED  
[HERO’S FORTUNE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/advancedNewRules.html#_hero's-fortune) \- Even at the start of her career, it was clear that the character had a chance at greatness, and her legend continues to grow with every adventure.  
[LORE KEEPER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/cleric.html#_knowledge-domain) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] – The character can touch a creature to learn about its abilities and weaknesses.  
EXTRA – The character treats all Knowledge skills as class skills.  
[DISGUISE SELF](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/disguiseSelf.html#_disguise-self) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (2 USES/DAY) - The character's appearance changes— potentially including clothing, armor, weapons, and equipment. She cannot change her creature type, but otherwise the extent of the apparent change is up to her.  
[MIRROR IMAGE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/mirrorImage.html#_mirror-image) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) - The character can create decoy duplicates of herself.

CLASS FEATURES  
WEAPON AND ARMOUR PROFICIENCY: INQUISITOR  
An inquisitor is proficient with all simple weapons, plus the hand crossbow, longbow, repeating crossbow, shortbow, and the favoured weapon of her deity (THE SEER OF MIND favours the SWORD CANE). She is also proficient with light armour, medium armour, and shields (except tower shields).

DOMAIN: [INQUISITION (Justice)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spellcastingClassOptions/inquisitor.html#_justice-inquisition)  
JUDICIOUS FORCE [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (3 USES/DAY)  
The inquisitor or an ally next to her has a better chance of doing a massively damaging strike to their foe.

[JUDGEMENT](paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/baseClasses/inquisitor.html#_judgment) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (2 USES/DAY)  
The inquisitor can gain one of several abilities for a combat, so long as she is able to participate in the action. She can also switch which ability she is using partway through.

MONSTER LORE [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
The inquisitor is skilled at identifying the abilities and weaknesses of creatures.

STERN GAZE [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
Inquisitors are skilled at sensing deception and intimidating their foes.

[DETECT ALIGNMENT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/baseClasses/inquisitor.html#_detect-alignment) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY]  
At will, the inquisitor can use _detect chaos, detect evil, detect good_ or _detect law._ She can only use one of these at any given time.

[TRACK](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/baseClasses/inquisitor.html#_track) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
At 2nd level, the inquisitor adds half her level on Survival skill checks made to follow or identify tracks.

[SOLO TACTICS [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/baseClasses/inquisitor.html#_solo-tactics)   
At 3rd level, the Inquisitor can make use of her teamwork feats as if her allies had the same feats as she did, although only she can reap the benefits.

[TEAMWORK FEAT: LOOKOUT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/advancedFeats.html#_lookout)   
The inquisitor's allies help her avoid being surprised.

[BANE [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/baseClasses/inquisitor.html#_bane) (5 ROUNDS/DAY)  
At 5th level, an inquisitor can imbue one of her weapons with the bane weapon special ability as a swift action, doing far more damage against [the chosen type of creature.](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/magicItems/weapons.html#_weapons-bane)

[DISCERN LIES [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] ](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/baseClasses/inquisitor.html#_discern-lies) (5 ROUNDS/DAY)  
At 5th level, an inquisitor can discern lies, [as per the spell](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/discernLies.html#_discern-lies), for a number of rounds per day equal to her inquisitor level.

SPELLS  
LEVEL 0 [At Will] Save DC 13  
[BRAND](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/spells/brand.html#_brand), [DAZE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/daze.html#_daze), [DETECT MAGIC](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/detectMagic.html#_detect-magic), [DETECT POISON](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/detectPoison.html#_detect-poison), [SIFT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/spells/sift.html#_sift), [STABILIZE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/stabilize.html#_stabilize)

LEVEL 1 [5/Day] Save DC 14  
[COMPREHEND LANGUAGES](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/comprehendLanguages.html#_comprehend-languages), [CURE LIGHT WOUNDS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/cureLightWounds.html#_cure-light-wounds), [DIVINE FAVOUR](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/divineFavor.html#_divine-favor), [PERSUASIVE GOAD](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spells/persuasiveGoad.html#_persuasive-goad)

LEVEL 2 [3/Day] Save DC 15  
[BLOODHOUND](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/spells/bloodhound.html#_bloodhound), [CONFESS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/spells/confess.html#_confess), [SEE INVISIBILITY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/seeInvisibility.html#_see-invisibility)

* * *

SOLLUX CAPTOR [SORCERER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/sorcerer.html#_sorcerer) \- [ARCANE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/sorcerer.html#_arcane) ([SAGE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spellcastingClassOptions/sorcerer.html#_sage))/[DESTINED](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/sorcerer.html#_destined) ([KARMIC](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spellcastingClassOptions/sorcerer.html#_karmic)) ([CROSSBLOODED](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spellcastingClassOptions/sorcerer.html#_crossblooded-\(archetype\)) [WORDCASTER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/ultimateMagicWordsOfPower.html)) 5  
CHAOTIC NEUTRAL

TL:DR – Sollux gained his first second level word! Whoo! It lets him unpick spells on willing targets. He also picked up a better initiative and a word that protects him better in combat.

[](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/kgu19nfbaxeezfh/Sollux%20Captor.png?dl=0)

BASIC STATISTICS  
GENDER: Male  
HAIR/EYES: White hair, one red and one blue eye  
HOMELAND: The Greenweald Forest Region (No Fixed Abode)  
DEITY: The Mage of Doom  
LANGUAGES: Common, High Elven, Orc, Infernal, Undercommon  
RACE: Halfbreed (Drow/Tiefling)

ATTRIBUTES  
STRENGTH: 12[+1]  
DEXTERITY: 14[+2]  
CONSTITUTION: 13[+1]  
INTELLIGENCE: 18[+4]  
WISDOM: 8[-1]  
CHARISMA: 10[+0]

HIT POINTS: 29/29  
HERO POINTS: 3/3  
INITIATIVE: +6  
BASE SPEED/S: 30ft (land)

ARMOUR CLASS [AC]: 13  
TOUCH AC: 12  
FLAT-FOOTED AC: 11

BASE ATTACK BONUS [BAB]: +2  
BASIC MELEE ATTACK: +3  
BASIC RANGED ATTACK: +4  
COMBAT MANEUVER BONUS [CMB]: +3  
COMBAT MANEUVER DEFENCE [CMD]: 15

SAVES  
FORTITUDE: +2  
REFLEX: +3  
WILL: +3

[WEAPONS/ATTACKS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_weapon-descriptions)  
[SHURIKEN](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_shuriken) \- 5 Ammunition

EQUIPMENT - [CARRYING CAPACITY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/additionalRules.html#_carrying-capacity) (STR 13)

EQUIPMENT - ITEM SLOTS  
CLOTHING: EXPLORER'S OUTFIT  
This set of clothes is for someone who never knows what to expect. It includes sturdy boots, leather breeches, a belt, a shirt with a jacket, gloves and a cloak. The clothes have plenty of pockets (especially the cloak). The outfit also includes any extra accessories the character might need, such as a scarf or a wide-brimmed hat.

NECK: HAUNTED BROKEN AMULET OF THE LABYRINTH (SIR WILLIAM COSBIE)  
Effect Unknown

WRISTS: [BRACERS OF ARMOUR +1](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/magicItems/wondrousItems.html#_bracers-of-armor)  
These items appear to be wrist or arm guards. They surround the wearer with an invisible but tangible field of force, granting him an armour bonus of +1, just as though he were wearing armour. Both bracers must be worn for the magic to be effective.

EQUIPMENT - POSSESSIONS  
Shuriken [x5] 0.5lb, Bracers of Armour +1 1lb, Eyeglasses, Haunted Broken Amulet of the Labyrinth

>BACKPACK, MASTERWORK 4lbs (Capacity 60lbs, +1 STR to carry loads)  
Tent (Medium, 2 people) 30lbs, Bedroll [x2] 10lbs, Blanket (Common) [x2] 2lb, Mysterious Journal 3lbs

TOTAL 50.5lbs (1.5lbs without backpack)

EQUIPMENT - MONEY  
0CP, 8SP, 508GP, 0PP  
OTHER:

SKILLS  
TRAINED  
APPRAISE +9(5), +KNOWLEDGE ARCANA +14(5), +KNOWLEDGE DUNGEONEERING +11(4), +KNOWLEDGE HISTORY +11(4), +SPELLCRAFT +14(5), +USE MAGIC DEVICE +9(5)

UNTRAINED  
+ACROBATICS +2*, +BLUFF -1, CLIMB +1*, +CRAFT +3, DIPLOMACY +0, DISGUISE +0, ESCAPE ARTIST +2*, HEAL -1, +INTIMIDATE +0, PERCEPTION -1, PERFORM +0, RIDE +2*, SENSE MOTIVE +0, STEALTH +0*, SURVIVAL -1, SWIM +1*  
(+FLY +2*)

*Armour Check Penalty: Skill at –0 due to armour worn.  
+Class Skill

FEATS  
EXTRA WORD [CASTER LEVEL 1ST IN BARD, ORACLE OR SORCERER]   
The character has uncovered a new word of power.

[COMBAT CASTING](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_combat-casting)   
The character is adept at spellcasting when threatened or distracted.

[IMPROVED INITIATIVE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_improved-initiative)   
The character's quick reflexes allow him to react rapidly to danger.

[RACIAL ABILITIES: HALF-ELF](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advancedRaceGuide/coreRaces/halfElves.html#_half-elf-racial-traits) ([ALTERNATE RACIAL TRAITS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advancedRaceGuide/coreRaces/halfElves.html#_alternate-racial-traits))  
ATTRIBUTE SHIFT - +2 Intelligence.  
DROW-BLOODED – Replaces Low-Light Vision.  
ELVEN IMMUNITIES.  
MIXED BLOOD – The character counts as both Drow and Tiefling for any effect related to race. Replaces Elf Blood.  
WARY – Replaces Keen Senses.  
DUAL MINDED – Replaces Adaptability.  
ARCANE TRAINING – Replaces Multitalented.  
LANGUAGES – Halfbreeds begin play speaking Common and High Elven. Halfbreeds with high Intelligence scores can choose any language as a bonus language (except secret languages, such as Druidic).

SPECIAL ABILITIES  
GODMARKED  
WEAPON PROFICIENCY (SHURIKEN)  
[ARCANE BEACON](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/cleric.html#_arcane-beacon) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (3 USES/DAY) – The character can emanate an aura that makes spells cast near him more powerful and harder to resist.  
[BANE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/bane.html#_bane) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (2 USES/DAY) - Bane fills enemies with fear and doubt, and counters and dispels Bless.  
[AID](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/aid.html#_aid) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Aid grants a bonus to attacks and saves, and makes the target temporarily harder to kill.

CLASS FEATURES  
WEAPON AND ARMOUR PROFICIENCY: SORCERER  
Sorcerers are proficient with all simple weapons. They are not proficient with any type of armour or shield. Armour interferes with a sorcerer's gestures, which can cause his spells with somatic components to fail.

FEAT: [ESCHEW MATERIALS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_eschew-materials)  
The character can cast many spells without needing to utilize minor material components.

BLOODLINE: [CROSSBLOODED](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spellcastingClassOptions/sorcerer.html#_crossblooded-%28archetype%29) [SAGE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spellcastingClassOptions/sorcerer.html#_sage)/[KARMIC](paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spellcastingClassOptions/sorcerer.html#_karmic)  
CLASS SKILL: Knowledge (Any One: Dungeoneering) and Knowledge History.  
BLOODLINE ARCANA: Unlike most sorcerers, the character understands and masters his magic through intellect rather than force of personality, and has a better understanding of arcane forces as a result. Additionally, if he fails to cast when under threat, the creature that disrupted his concentration is left vulnerable to attack.  
DRAWBACK: A crossblooded sorcerer has one fewer spell known at each level, and is weaker willed.  
BLOODLINE POWERS:  
1\. ARCANE BOLT [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (7 USES/DAY): The sorcerer can unleash a ray of magical force as an attack, increasing in power dependant on the sorcerer's class level.  
2.[ METAMAGIC ADEPT [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/sorcerer.html#_arcane) (1 USE/DAY): At 3rd level, the Sage Sorcerer can apply metamagic feats to his spells without any reduction in casting speed.

SPELLS: BLOODLINE SPELLS (CAN BE USED INSTEAD OF EQUIVALENT LEVEL WORDSPELL)  
LEVEL 1 – [IDENTIFY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/identify.html#_identify)(Gives a bonus to identifying the properties and command words of magic items in the caster's possession.)  
LEVEL 2 – [BLUR](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/blur.html#_blur)(The target's outline becomes blurred, and they are harder to hit.)  


SPELLS: [WORDS OF POWER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/ultimateMagicWordsOfPower.html#_words-of-power)  
LEVEL 0 [At Will] Save DC 14  
One Effect Word Only (Level 0)

LEVEL 1 [7/Day] Save DC 15  
One Effect Word Only (Level 1 or lower)

LEVEL 2 [5/Day] Save DC 16  
One Effect Word (Level 2 or lower)  
Two Effect Words (Level 0 and Level 0)

[EFFECT WORDS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/wordsOfPower/effectWords.html)   
[FLAME JET (Fire 0)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/wordsOfPower/effectWords/fireWords.html#_flame-jet-%28fire%29), [SPARK (Electricity 0)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/wordsOfPower/effectWords/electricityWords.html#_spark-%28electricity%29), [LIFT (Gravity 0)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/wordsOfPower/effectWords/gravityWords.html#_lift-%28gravity%29), [FORCE BLOCK (Armor 0)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/wordsOfPower/effectWords/armorWords.html#_force-block-%28armor%29)  
[BURNING FLASH (Fire 1)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/wordsOfPower/effectWords/fireWords.html#_burning-flash-%28fire%29), [GLIDE (Flight 1)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/spells/glide.html#_glide-), [SHOCK ARC (Electricity 1)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/wordsOfPower/effectWords/electricityWords.html#_shock-arc-%28electricity%29), [FORCE SHIELD (Armor 1)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/wordsOfPower/effectWords/armorWords.html#_force-shield-%28armor%29)  
[SUPPRESS (Dispelling 2)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/wordsOfPower/effectWords/dispellingWords.html#_suppress-%28dispelling%29)

[TARGET WORDS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/wordsOfPower/targetWords.html)   
CONE (Target 0), PERSONAL (Target 0), SELECTED (Target 0)  
BURST (Target 1), LINE (Target 1)  
BARRIER (Target 3)

[META WORDS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/wordsOfPower/metaWords.html)   
(NOTE: META WORDS CAN ONLY BE USED ½ WORDCASTER LEVEL TIMES PER DAY)  
BOOST (Meta 0), DISTANT (Meta 0)

* * *

ARADIA MEGIDO [SORCERER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/sorcerer.html#_sorcerer) \- [DREAMSPUN](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/sorcerer.html#_dreamspun) 5  
TRUE NEUTRAL

TL:DR – Aradia got better with a whip, and picked up the ability to predict future success or failure from her bloodline. She also can now touch people with the chill of the grave, or freak them out with weird mist.

[ ](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/7ub9bd7pt8m7sv0/Aradia%20Megido.png?dl=0)

BASIC STATISTICS  
GENDER: Female  
HAIR/EYES: Black hair, red eyes  
HOMELAND: The Greenweald Forest Region (No Fixed Abode)  
DEITY: The Maid of Time  
LANGUAGES: Common, Infernal, Orc, High Elven  
RACE: Tiefling

ATTRIBUTES  
STRENGTH: 8[-1]  
DEXTERITY: 12[+1]  
CONSTITUTION: 12[+1]  
INTELLIGENCE: 15[+2]  
WISDOM: 14[+2]  
CHARISMA: 14[+2] (16[+3])

HIT POINTS: 26/26  
HERO POINTS: 3/3  
INITIATIVE: +6  
BASE SPEED/S: 30ft (land)

ARMOUR CLASS [AC]: 11  
TOUCH AC: 11  
FLAT-FOOTED AC: 10

BASE ATTACK BONUS [BAB]: +2  
BASIC MELEE ATTACK: +1  
BASIC RANGED ATTACK: +3  
COMBAT MANEUVER BONUS [CMB]: +1  
COMBAT MANEUVER DEFENCE [CMD]: 12

SAVES  
FORTITUDE: +2  
REFLEX: +2  
WILL: +6

[WEAPONS/ATTACKS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_weapon-descriptions)  
[WHIP](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_whip) \- This is a [nonlethal](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/equipment.html#_nonlethal), [reach](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/equipment.html#_reach-weapons), [disarm](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/equipment.html#_disarm), [trip](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/equipment.html#_trip) weapon. A whip deals no damage to any creature with an armour bonus of +1 or higher, or a natural armour bonus of +3 or higher. Using a whip provokes an attack of opportunity, just as if the character had used a ranged weapon.

EQUIPMENT - [CARRYING CAPACITY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/additionalRules.html#_carrying-capacity) (STR 8)

EQUIPMENT - ITEM SLOTS  
CLOTHING: EXPLORER'S OUTFIT  
This set of clothes is for someone who never knows what to expect. It includes sturdy boots, leather skirt, a belt, a shirt with a vest, gloves and a cloak. The clothes have plenty of pockets (especially the cloak). The outfit also includes any extra accessories the character might need, such as a scarf or a wide-brimmed hat.

EQUIPMENT - POSSESSIONS  
Whip 2lbs, Waterskin 4lbs

>POUCH, BELT 0.5lbs (Capacity 10lbs)  
Rope (Silk) [50ft] 5lbs, String/Twine [50ft] 0.5lbs, Sewing Needle, Compass 0.5lbs, Kit (Map Making) [Anyone using this kit to draw a map as they travel receives a +2 circumstance bonus on Survival skill checks to avoid becoming lost] 2lbs, Wayfinder 1lb

>POUCH, BELT 0.5lbs (Capacity 10lbs)  
Kit (Cooking) 2lbs

TOTAL 18lbs

EQUIPMENT - MONEY  
3CP, 3SP, 534GP, 0PP  
OTHER:

SKILLS  
TRAINED  
+ACROBATICS +5(1)*, CLIMB +2(3)*, KNOWLEDGE DUNGEONEERING +7(5), KNOWLEDGE HISTORY +7(5), SURVIVAL +7(5), SWIM +1(2)* +USE MAGIC DEVICE +8(3)

UNTRAINED  
APPRAISE +2, +BLUFF +2, +CRAFT +2, DIPLOMACY +2, DISGUISE +2, ESCAPE ARTIST +1*, HEAL +2, +INTIMIDATE +2, PERCEPTION +2, PERFORM +1, RIDE +1*, +SENSE MOTIVE +2, STEALTH +1*  
(+FLY +1*)

*Armour Check Penalty: Skill at –0 due to armour worn.  
+Class Skill

FEATS  
[COMBAT CASTING](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_combat-casting)  
The character is adept at spellcasting when threatened or distracted.

[IMPROVED INITIATIVE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_improved-initiative)   
The character's quick reflexes allow her to react rapidly to danger.

[WEAPON FOCUS: (WHIP) [REQUIRES: WEAPON PROFICIENCY, BAB +1]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_weapon-focus)   
The character gains a +1 bonus on all attack rolls she makes using the selected weapon.

[RACIAL ABILITIES: TIEFLING](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advancedRaceGuide/featuredRaces/tieflings.html#_tiefling-racial-traits)  
TIEFLINGS DO NOT COUNT AS OUTSIDERS FOR THE PURPOSE OF THIS SETTING.  
SORCEROUS GIFT - Tiefling sorcerers treat their Charisma score as 2 points higher for all sorcerer class abilities.  
[DARKNESS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/darkness.html#_darkness) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Tieflings can touch an object and cause it to radiate a deep darkness that dims even magical light.  
LANGUAGES - Tieflings begin play speaking Common and either Abyssal or Infernal. Tieflings with high Intelligence scores can choose any of the following bonus languages: Abyssal, Draconic, Dwarven, High Elven, Gnome, Goblin, Halfling, Infernal, and Orc.

SPECIAL ABILITIES  
GODMARKED  
WEAPON PROFICIENCY (WHIP)  
[BINDING TIES](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/cleric.html#_binding-ties) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (5 USES/DAY) – The character can temporarily take the suffering as an ally onto herself, rendering them temporarily immune to the condition for a short time dependent on her character level.  
[DEATHWATCH](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/deathwatch.html#_deathwatch) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY](2 USES/DAY) - The character can determine the condition of creatures near death within the spell's range.  
[ONE TRACK MIND](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/3rd-party-spells/purple-duck-games/one-track-mind) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) - The target repeats their last action over and over again.

CLASS FEATURES  
WEAPON AND ARMOUR PROFICIENCY: SORCERER  
Sorcerers are proficient with all simple weapons. They are not proficient with any type of armour or shield. Armour interferes with a sorcerer's gestures, which can cause her spells with somatic components to fail.

FEAT: [ESCHEW MATERIALS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_eschew-materials)  
The character can cast many spells without needing to utilize minor material components.

BLOODLINE: [DREAMSPUN](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/sorcerer.html#_dreamspun)  
CLASS SKILL: Sense Motive.  
BLOODLINE ARCANA: Whenever the character targets a single creature with a spell, she is briefly better protected against attacks made by that foe.  
BLOODLINE POWERS:  
1\. [ LULLABY [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/lullaby.html#_lullaby) (6 USES/DAY): The character can make another creature drowsy, rendering them less perceptive and more susceptible to sleep magic.  
2.[ COMBAT PRECOGNITION [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/sorcerer.html#_combat-precognition)  
At 3rd level, the sorcerer’s insight into the future makes her faster to react to threats.

SPELLS  
LEVEL 0 [At Will] Save DC 13  
[DETECT MAGIC](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/detectMagic.html#_detect-magic), [MAGE HAND](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/mageHand.html#_mage-hand), [MESSAGE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/message.html#_message), [OPEN/CLOSE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/openClose.html#_open-close), [PRESTIDIGITATION](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/prestidigitation.html#_prestidigitation), [RAY OF FROST](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/rayOfFrost.html#_ray-of-frost)

LEVEL 1 [7/Day] Save DC 14  
[CHILL TOUCH](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/chillTouch.html#_chill-touch), [HYPNOTISM](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/hypnotism.html#_hypnotism), [MAGIC MISSILE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/magicMissile.html#_magic-missile), [UNSEEN SERVANT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/unseenServant.html#_unseen-servant), [SLEEP](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/sleep.html#_sleep)

LEVEL 2 [5/Day] Save DC 15  
[AUGURY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/augury.html#_augury), [HAUNTING MISTS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spells/hauntingMists.html#_haunting-mists), [LEVITATE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/levitate.html#_levitate)

* * *

KANAYA MARYAM [CLERIC](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/cleric.html#_cleric) 5  
TRUE NEUTRAL

TL:DR – Kanaya has the best feat. It lets her channel positive and negative energy, so she can hurt or heal undead and hurt or heal living beings. Also her ability to channel energy has grown more powerful, and she has third level spellcasting.

[](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/08069btcqrm4oee/Kanaya%20Maryam.png?dl=0)

BASIC STATISTICS  
GENDER: Female  
HAIR/EYES: White hair, green eyes  
HOMELAND: City of Golgesi (Temple Spire)/The Greenweald Forest Region (No Fixed Abode)  
DEITY: The Sylph of Space  
LANGUAGES: Undercommon, High Elven  
RACE: Drow (Dark Elf)

ATTRIBUTES  
STRENGTH: 13[+1]  
DEXTERITY: 10[+0]  
CONSTITUTION: 13[+1]  
INTELLIGENCE: 10[+0]  
WISDOM: 15[+2]  
CHARISMA: 14[+2]

HIT POINTS: 32/32  
HERO POINTS: 4/5  
INITIATIVE: +0  
BASE SPEED/S: 30ft (land)

ARMOUR CLASS [AC]: 14  
TOUCH AC: 10  
FLAT-FOOTED AC: 14

BASE ATTACK BONUS [BAB]: +3  
BASIC MELEE ATTACK: +4  
BASIC RANGED ATTACK: +3  
COMBAT MANEUVER BONUS [CMB]: +4  
COMBAT MANEUVER DEFENCE [CMD]: 14

SAVES  
FORTITUDE: +6  
REFLEX: +2  
WILL: +7

[WEAPONS/ATTACKS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_weapon-descriptions)  
[MASTERWORK SAWTOOTH SABRE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_sawtooth-sabre) \- This weapon counts as “light" for the purposes of two-weapon fighting.  
[SHIELD BASH, LIGHT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/equipment.html#_shield-bash-attacks) \- Treat as “light" for the purposes of two-weapon fighting, and lose shield bonus to AC when used as a weapon.  
[DAGGER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_dagger) \- Can be thrown, range 10ft.

EQUIPMENT - [CARRYING CAPACITY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/additionalRules.html#_carrying-capacity) (STR 13)

EQUIPMENT - ITEM SLOTS  
CLOTHING: EXPLORER'S OUTFIT  
This set of clothes is for someone who never knows what to expect. It includes sturdy boots, a leather overtunic over a cloth skirt, a belt, a shirt, gloves and a cloak. The clothes have plenty of pockets (especially the cloak). The outfit also includes any extra accessories the character might need, such as a scarf or a wide-brimmed hat.

ARMOUR: STUDDED LEATHER ARMOUR  
+3 armour bonus, +5 max DEX bonus, -1 Armour Check Penalty, 15% Arcane Spell Failure Chance, LIGHT

SHIELD: LIGHT WOODEN SHIELD  
+1 shield bonus, -1 Armour Check Penalty, 5% Arcane Spell Failure Chance  
SPECIAL: The character can bash an opponent with a light shield. Used this way, a light shield is a martial bludgeoning weapon. For the purpose of penalties on attack rolls, treat a shield as a light weapon. If she uses her shield as a weapon, she loses its AC bonus until her next turn.

SHOULDERS: [CLOAK OF RESISTANCE +1](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/magicItems/wondrousItems.html#_cloak-of-resistance)  
This garment offers magical protection in the form of a +1 resistance bonus on all saving throws.

EQUIPMENT - POSSESSIONS  
Masterwork Sawtooth Sabre 2lbs, Studded Leather Armour 20lbs, Shield (Light Wooden) 5lbs, Cloak of Resistance +1 1lb, Eyeglasses, Holy Symbol (Wooden), Dagger 1lb, Waterskin 4lbs

>BACKPACK, COMMON 2lbs (Capacity 60lbs)  
Tent (Small, 1 person) 20lbs, Bedroll 5lbs, Blanket (Common) 1lb, Kit (Healer's) [This collection of bandages and herbs provides a +2 circumstance bonus on Heal checks. A healer's kit is exhausted after 10 uses] 1lb

>POUCH, BELT 0.5lbs (Capacity 10lbs)  
Flint and Steel, Whetstone 1lb, String/Twine [50ft] 0.5lbs, Sewing Needle  
Rations (Wandermeal) [x4] [Eating this tough, dried cake for over a week without other nutrients causes the eater to feel ill] 2lbs

TOTAL 65lbs (36lbs without backpack)

EQUIPMENT - MONEY  
9CP, 2SP, 13GP, 0PP  
OTHER:

SKILLS  
TRAINED  
+CRAFT(APPAREL) +7(4), +DIPLOMACY +10(5), +HEAL +7(2), +KNOWLEDGE RELIGION +6(3)

UNTRAINED  
ACROBATICS +0*, +APPRAISE +0, BLUFF +2, CLIMB +1*, +CRAFT +0, DISGUISE +2, ESCAPE ARTIST +0*, INTIMIDATE +2, PERCEPTION +2, PERFORM +2, RIDE +0*, +SENSE MOTIVE +2, STEALTH +0*, SURVIVAL +2, SWIM +1*  
(FLY +0*)

*Armour Check Penalty: Skill at –2 due to armour worn.  
+Class Skill

FEATS  
[ SELECTIVE CHANNELING [REQUIRES: CHA 13, CHANNEL ENERGY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_selective-channeling) (CAN EXCLUDE: 2)  
The character can choose whom to affect when she channels energy.

[COMBAT CASTING](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_combat-casting)   
The character is adept at spellcasting when threatened or distracted.

[VERSATILE CHANNELER [REQUIRES: CHANNEL ENERGY, NEUTRAL ALIGNMENT]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/ultimateMagicFeats.html#_versatile-channeler)   
The character can choose to channel positive and negative energy.

[RACIAL ABILITIES: DROW](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advancedRaceGuide/featuredRaces/drow.html#_drow-racial-traits)  
[DANCING LIGHTS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/dancingLights.html#_dancing-lights) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Drow can create up to four illusory lights and direct their motion.  
[DARKNESS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/darkness.html#_darkness) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Drow can touch an object and cause it to radiate a deep darkness that dims even magical light.  
[FAERIE FIRE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/faerieFire.html#_faerie-fire) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Drow can cause a person to glow with a pale fire that clings to them even if they are not otherwise visible.  
LANGUAGES - Drow begin play speaking Undercommon and High Elven. Drow with high Intelligence can choose bonus languages from the following: Common, Dark Folk, Draconic, Drow Sign Language, Dwarven, Gnome, Goblin or Infernal.

SPECIAL ABILITIES  
GODMARKED  
[HERO’S FORTUNE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/advancedNewRules.html#_hero's-fortune) \- Even at the start of her career, it was clear that the character had a chance at greatness, and her legend continues to grow with every adventure.  
[RENEWED STRENGTH](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/classes/core-classes/cleric/domains/3rd-party-publishers---domains/4-winds-fantasy-gaming---domains/renewal-domain) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (5 USES/DAY) – The character can cure her allies of exhaustion, fatigue, sickness and nausea with a touch.  
[LONGSTRIDER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/longstrider.html#_longstrider) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY](2 USES/DAY) - This power gives the character a +10 foot enhancement bonus to her base speed.  
[LOCATE OBJECT ](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/locateObject.html#_locate-object) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) - The character senses the direction towards an object (specific or type).

CLASS FEATURES  
WEAPON AND ARMOUR PROFICIENCY: CLERIC  
Clerics are proficient with all simple weapons, light armour, medium armour, and shields (except tower shields). Clerics are also proficient with the favoured weapon of their deities (THE SYLPH OF SPACE favours the SAWTOOTH SABRE).

[CHANNEL ENERGY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/cleric.html#_channel-energy-cleric) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (5 USES/DAY, DC14, 3D6)  
The cleric can channel positive energy through her holy symbol, choosing to either deal damage to undead creatures or to heal living creatures in a burst of holy power.

SPONTANEOUS CASTING  
The cleric can channel stored spell energy into healing spells that she hasn't prepared ahead of time. She can "lose" any prepared spell that is not an orison or domain spell in order to cast any cure spell of the same spell level or lower.

DOMAINS: [CHARM](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/cleric.html#_charm-domain) ([LOVE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/cleric.html#_love-subdomain)) AND [DEATH](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/cleric.html#_death-domain) ([UNDEAD](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/cleric.html#_undead-subdomain))  
DOMAIN POWERS: ADORATION [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (5 USES/DAY) – The cleric can attempt to thwart a single physical attack against her person.  
DOMAIN POWERS: [DEATH'S KISS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/cleric.html#_death%27s-kiss) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (5 USES/DAY) – The cleric can cause a creature to take on some of the traits of the undead with a touch.

SPELLS  
[CLERIC LEVEL 0](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/spell-lists-and-domains/spell-lists---cleric#p0) [4 Prepared, At Will] Save DC 12  
+MENDING – Makes minor repairs on an object.  
+PURIFY FOOD AND DRINK – Purifies 1 cubic ft/level of food or water.  
+SPARK – Ignites flammable objects.  
+STABILIZE – Cause a dying creature to stabilize.

[CLERIC LEVEL 1](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/spell-lists-and-domains/spell-lists---cleric#p1) [4/Day+1 Prepared] Save DC 13  
DOMAIN SPELLS:  
+CHARM PERSON – Makes one person your friend.  
+CAUSE FEAR – One creature of 5HD or less flees for 1d4 rounds.  
  
+++BLESS – Allies gain +1 on attack rolls and saves against fear.

[CLERIC LEVEL 2](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/spell-lists-and-domains/spell-lists---cleric#p2) [3/Day+1 Prepared] Save DC 14  
DOMAIN SPELLS:  
ENTHRALL - Captivates all within 100 ft. + 10 ft./level.  
+[GHOUL TOUCH](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/ghoulTouch.html#_ghoul-touch) \- Paralyzes one subject, which exudes stench that makes those nearby sickened.  
  
++[BLOOD OF THE MARTYR](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/all-spells/b/blood-of-the-martyr) \- Target bleeds from orifices, enabling other creatures to sup the blood to regain hit points. 1D6/4 levels (max 4d6) damage/healing.  
+CURE MODERATE WOUNDS - Cures 2d8 damage + 1/level (max +10).

[CLERIC LEVEL 3](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/spell-lists-and-domains/spell-lists---cleric#p3) [1/Day+1 Prepared] Save DC 15  
DOMAIN SPELLS:  
[SUGGESTION](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/suggestion.html#_suggestion) \- Compels a subject to follow stated course of action.  
+[ANIMATE DEAD](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/animateDead.html#_animate-dead) \- Turns corpses into undead skeletons or zombies that obey spoken commands.  
  
+SEARING LIGHT - Ray deals 1d8/two levels damage (more against undead).

* * *

JANE CROCKER [RANGER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/ranger.html#_ranger) ([URBAN RANGER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/ranger.html#_urban-ranger)) 5  
LAWFUL GOOD

TL:DR – Do not be fooled by her mild mannered appearance. Jane is now one of the heaviest hitters of all the characters, outclassed by Gamzee and maybe John depending on the AC of the opponents and whether they're undead. Increased godly healing abilities make her the person you want in your party, every time.

[](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/fgmbkpiszsb2zin/Jane%20Crocker.png?dl=0)

BASIC STATISTICS  
GENDER: Female  
HAIR/EYES: Black hair, blue eyes  
HOMELAND: City of Porthaven (Outer Ring)  
DEITY: The Maid of Life  
LANGUAGES: Common, High Elven, Celestial, Orc  
RACE: Tuatha (High Elf)

ATTRIBUTES  
STRENGTH: 16[+3]  
DEXTERITY: 15[+2]  
CONSTITUTION: 12[+1]  
INTELLIGENCE: 10[+0]  
WISDOM: 12[+1]  
CHARISMA: 10[+0]

HIT POINTS: 40/40  
HERO POINTS: 3/5  
INITIATIVE: +2  
BASE SPEED/S: 30ft (land)

ARMOUR CLASS [AC]: 19  
TOUCH AC: 12  
FLAT-FOOTED AC: 17

BASE ATTACK BONUS [BAB]: +5  
BASIC MELEE ATTACK: +8  
BASIC RANGED ATTACK: +7  
COMBAT MANEUVER BONUS [CMB]: +8  
COMBAT MANEUVER DEFENCE [CMD]: 20

SAVES  
FORTITUDE: +5  
REFLEX: +6  
WILL: +2

[WEAPONS/ATTACKS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_weapon-descriptions)  
[TRIDENT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_trident) \- This is a [brace](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/equipment.html#_brace) weapon. Can be thrown, range 10ft.  
[SHIELD BASH, LIGHT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/equipment.html#_shield-bash-attacks) \- Treat as “light" for the purposes of two-weapon fighting, and lose shield bonus to AC when used as a weapon.  
[DAGGER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_dagger) \- Can be thrown, range 10ft.

EQUIPMENT - [CARRYING CAPACITY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/additionalRules.html#_carrying-capacity) (STR 17)

EQUIPMENT - ITEM SLOTS  
CLOTHING: ARTISAN'S OUTFIT  
This outfit consists of a blouse with buttons, drawstring skirt, shoes, and a neat cloth cap. It also includes a cloth apron for carrying small items such as a money pouch.

ARMOUR: MASTERWORK STUDDED LEATHER  
+3 armour bonus, +5 max DEX bonus, 0 Armour Check Penalty, 15% Arcane Spell Failure Chance, LIGHT  
SPECIAL: Masterwork armour has an Armour Check Penalty one lower than normal and can be enchanted.

SHIELD: LIGHT STEEL SHIELD OF BASHING +1  
+3 shield bonus, -0 Armour Check Penalty, 5% Arcane Spell Failure Chance  
SPECIAL: The character can bash an opponent with a light shield. Used this way, a light shield of bashing is a martial bludgeoning weapon of two size categories larger, and acts as a +1 weapon when used to bash. For the purpose of penalties on attack rolls, treat a shield as a light weapon. If she uses her shield as a weapon, she loses its AC bonus until her next turn.

EQUIPMENT - POSSESSIONS  
Trident 4lbs, Masterwork Studded Leather 20lbs, Light Steel Shield of Bashing +1 6lbs, Dagger 1lb, Waterskin 4lbs

>BACKPACK, MASTERWORK 4lbs (Capacity 60lbs, +1 STR to carry loads)  
Bedroll 5lbs, Kit (Cooking) 2lbs, Rations (Trail) [x6] 6lb, Parade Armour 20lbs, Elixir of Truth [x1], Elixir of Vision [x1], Shield (Light Steel) 6lbs

>POUCH, BELT 0.5lbs (Capacity 10lbs)  
Flint and Steel, Manacles 2lbs, Map [+1 circumstance bonus on Survival checks made to navigate in the Greenweald Forest region] 2lbs

TOTAL 82.5lbs (39.5lbs without backpack)

EQUIPMENT - MONEY  
0CP, 2SP, 73GP, 0PP  
OTHER:

SKILLS  
TRAINED  
ACROBATICS +7(4)*, +CRAFT(COOKING) +8(5), DISGUISE +3(3), +KNOWLEDGE LOCAL +6(3), +PERCEPTION +9(5), SENSE MOTIVE +8(4), +STEALTH +9(4)*, +SURVIVAL +8(4)

UNTRAINED  
+APPRAISE +0, BLUFF +0, +CLIMB +3*, CRAFT +0, +DIPLOMACY +0, ESCAPE ARTIST +2*, +HEAL +1, +INTIMIDATE +0, PERFORM +0, +RIDE +2*, +SWIM +3*  
(FLY +2*)

*Armour Check Penalty: Skill at –0 due to armour worn.  
+Class Skill

FEATS  
[ COSMOPOLITAN](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/advancedFeats.html#_cosmopolitan) (APPRAISE AND DIPLOMACY)  
Living in large, exotic cities has put the character in touch with many diverse civilizations, cultures, and races.

[TWO-WEAPON FIGHTING [REQUIRES: DEX 15]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_two-weapon-fighting)  
The character can fight with a weapon wielded in each of her hands. She can make one extra attack each round with the secondary weapon.

[POWER ATTACK [REQUIRES: STR 13, BAB+1]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_power-attack)  
The character can make exceptionally deadly melee attacks by sacrificing accuracy for strength.

[RACIAL ABILITIES: ELVEN](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advancedRaceGuide/coreRaces/elves.html#_elf-racial-traits)  
LANGUAGES - Tuatha begin play speaking Common and High Elven. Tuatha with high Intelligence scores can choose from the following: Celestial, Draconic, Gnoll, Gnome, Goblin, Orc, and Sylvan.

SPECIAL ABILITIES  
GODMARKED  
[HERO’S FORTUNE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/advancedNewRules.html#_hero's-fortune) \- Even at the start of her career, it was clear that the character had a chance at greatness, and her legend continues to grow with every adventure.  
[BINDING TIES](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/cleric.html#_binding-ties) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (3 USES/DAY) – The character can temporarily take the suffering as an ally onto herself, rendering them temporarily immune to the condition for a short time dependent on her character level.  
[CURE LIGHT WOUNDS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/cureLightWounds.html#_cure-light-wounds) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (2 USES/DAY) - When laying her hand upon a living creature, the character channels positive energy that cures 1d8 points of damage + 1 point per caster level (maximum +5).  
[CURE MODERATE WOUNDS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/cureModerateWounds.html#_cure-moderate-wounds) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) - When laying her hand upon a living creature, the character channels positive energy that cures 2d8 points of damage + 1 point per caster level (maximum +10).

CLASS FEATURES  
WEAPON AND ARMOUR PROFICIENCY: RANGER  
A ranger is proficient with all simple and martial weapons and with light armour, medium armour and shields (except tower shields).

[FAVOURED ENEMY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/ranger.html#_favored-enemy) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY] - HUMANOID (ELF) [+2], UNDEAD [+4]  
A ranger is better at attacking and damaging their favoured enemies. They spot them, track them, lie to them and understand them better, and know more about them than other similar creatures.

TRACK [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
A ranger is better at following or identifying tracks.

WILD EMPATHY [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
A ranger can communicate wordlessly with an animal, in the hope of making it more friendly towards the ranger and her allies.

COMBAT STYLE FEAT: [SHIELD FOCUS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_shield-focus) [REQUIRES: SHIELD PROFICIENCY, BAB +1]  
Increase the defensive bonus granted by any shield you are using.

[FAVOURED COMMUNITY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/ranger.html#_favored-community) (ADVENTURER'S QUARTER)  
At 3rd level, the urban ranger forms a bond with a community. While inside the limits of this community, she gains numerous bonuses to knowledge, tracking and survival, as well as being untrackable herself.

[FEAT: ENDURANCE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_endurance)   
The character is more readily able to handle prolonged physical activity and deprivation, and may sleep in light or medium armour without becoming fatigued.

[HUNTER’S BOND – COMPANION BOND [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/ranger.html#_hunter-s-bond)   
At 4th level, a ranger forms a bond with her hunting companions, allowing her to extend a limited version of her favoured enemy bonuses to them.

SPELLS  
[RANGER LEVEL 1](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/spell-lists-and-domains/spell-lists---ranger#p1) [2/Day Prepared] Save DC 12  
+HUNTER’S HOWL – Treat enemies as favoured for 1 round/level.  
+LEAD BLADES - Melee weapons damage as if one size bigger.

* * *

JAKE ENGLISH [GUNSLINGER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/classes/gunslinger.html) ([PISTOLERO](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/classArchetypes/gunslinger.html#_pistolero-\(archetype\))) 5  
CHAOTIC GOOD

TL:DR – Jake is now totally boss with pistols, as he can add his Dexterity modifier to damage. He's more nimble than before, and can fire two-handed without undue penalty. Huzzah!

[](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/rg51x3q5hwd48ji/Jake%20English.png?dl=0)

BASIC STATISTICS  
GENDER: Male  
HAIR/EYES: Black hair, green eyes  
HOMELAND: Quartzkin Clanhold  
DEITY: The Page of Hope  
LANGUAGES: Common, High Elven, Dwarven  
RACE: Tuatha (High Elf)

ATTRIBUTES  
STRENGTH: 13[+1]  
DEXTERITY: 17[+3]  
CONSTITUTION: 10[+0]  
INTELLIGENCE: 10[+0]  
WISDOM: 15[+2]  
CHARISMA: 10[+0]

HIT POINTS: 35/35  
HERO POINTS: 3/5  
INITIATIVE: +3(+5 if holding Grit)  
BASE SPEED/S: 30ft (land)

ARMOUR CLASS [AC]: 19  
TOUCH AC: 15  
FLAT-FOOTED AC: 14

BASE ATTACK BONUS [BAB]: +5  
BASIC MELEE ATTACK: +6  
BASIC RANGED ATTACK: +8  
COMBAT MANEUVER BONUS [CMB]: +6  
COMBAT MANEUVER DEFENCE [CMD]: 19

SAVES  
FORTITUDE: +4  
REFLEX: +7  
WILL: +3

[WEAPONS/ATTACKS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_firearms-table)  
[HEAVY PICK](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_heavy-pick)  
[MASTERWORK GUNSLINGER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/classes/gunslinger.html#_gunsmith) [PISTOL](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/combat/firearms.html#_pistol) \- Ammunition 22 bullets, 22 black powder charges (both required to fire).  
[MASTERWORK PISTOL](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/combat/firearms.html#_pistol) \- As above, shared ammunition.

EQUIPMENT - [CARRYING CAPACITY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/additionalRules.html#_carrying-capacity) (STR 14)

EQUIPMENT - ITEM SLOTS  
CLOTHING: TRAVELLER'S OUTFIT  
This set of clothes consists of boots, wool breeches, a sturdy belt, a shirt (perhaps with a vest or jacket), and an ample coat with a hood.

CLOTHING: ADVENTURER'S SASH  
This bandoleer holds six pouches along its length and a satchel at the hip. Each pouch has a stiff leather flap that can be secured against jostling with a clasp (requiring a move action to open or close) or left unfastened for easier access. The pouches and satchel each contain a number of loops and ties for further securing equipment. The sash buckles at the shoulder, and can be freed with a sharp tug in an emergency as a move action.

ARMOUR: MASTERWORK MITHRAL CHAIN SHIRT  
+4 armour bonus, +6 max DEX bonus, -0 Armour Check Penalty, 10% Arcane Spell Failure Chance, LIGHT  
SPECIAL: An item made from mithral weighs half as much as the same item made from other metals. Masterwork armour has an Armour Check Penalty one lower than normal and can be enchanted.

CHEST - ALL TOOLS VEST  
This well-made leather vest bears numerous shiny metal buttons, which stud a number of bulging pockets. Once per day, as a standard action, the wearer can speak the vest’s command word and order it to bring forth all the standard tools required to make checks for any one Craft skill. These tools appear in the countless pockets of the vest or, if too heavy, on the floor, on a nearby shelf, on a workbench, or in a toolbox or cupboard that appears nearby. Once summoned, they remain for 24 hours or until another creature touches them, whichever comes first.

EQUIPMENT - POSSESSIONS  
Adventurer's Sash 3lbs, Heavy Pick 6lbs, Masterwork Gunslinger Pistol 4lbs, Masterwork Pistol 4lbs, Masterwork Mithral Chain Shirt 12.5lbs, All Tools Vest 5lbs, Dagger 1lb, Waterskin 4lbs

>[HANDY HAVERSACK](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/magicItems/wondrousItems.html#_handy-haversack) 5lbs (Extradimensional Space, Capacity 80lbs+20lbs+20lbs)  
Bedroll 5lbs, Blanket (Common) [x2] 2lb, Kit (Grooming) 2lbs, Kit (Cooking) 2lbs, Kit (Mess) 1lb, Kit (Dungeoneering Deluxe) 15lbs, Kit (Gunsmith’s) 2lbs, Kit (Gear Maintenance) 2lbs, Potion of Cure Light Wounds [x4], Moonrod [x17]  
Tent (Small, 1 person) 20lbs  
Rations (Trail) [x20] 20lb

>LEATHER SATCHEL 1lbs (Capacity 35lbs)  
Healer's Kit [10 uses, +2] 1lb, Wound Paste [x3] 0.5lbs

>POUCH, BELT 0.5lbs (Capacity 10lbs)  
Flint and Steel, Compass 0.5lbs

>POWDER HORN 1lb (Capacity 10 x Black Powder)  
Black Powder [x2] [crafted at 10% cost]

>POWDER HORN 1lb (Capacity 10 x Black Powder)  
Black Powder [x10] [crafted at 10% cost]

>POWDER HORN 1lb (Capacity 10 x Black Powder)  
Black Powder [x10] [crafted at 10% cost]

TOTAL 51lbs (31lbs+20lbs+20lbs in EDS)

EQUIPMENT - MONEY  
0CP, 0SP, 495GP, 0PP  
OTHER:

SKILLS  
TRAINED  
+ACROBATICS +10(4)*, +CLIMB +6(2)*, +CRAFT(ALCHEMY) +8(5),*DISABLE DEVICE +1(1), KNOWLEDGE DUNGEONEERING +4(4), LINGUISTICS +1(1), +SURVIVAL +7(2), USE MAGIC DEVICE +3(3)

UNTRAINED  
APPRAISE +0, +BLUFF +0, CRAFT +0, DIPLOMACY +0, DISGUISE +0, ESCAPE ARTIST +3*, +HEAL +2, +INTIMIDATE +0, +PERCEPTION +2, PERFORM +0, +RIDE +3*, SENSE MOTIVE +2, STEALTH +3*, +SWIM +1*  
(FLY +3*)

*Armour Check Penalty: Skill at –0 due to armour worn.  
+Class Skill

FEATS  
[ RAPID RELOAD (PISTOL) [REQUIRES: WEAPON PROFICIENCY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/ultimateCombatFeats.html#_rapid-reload)  
The character can reload pistols quickly.

[BLIND-FIGHT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_blind-fight)   
The character is skilled at attacking opponents that he cannot clearly perceive.

[TWO-WEAPON FIGHTING [REQUIRES: DEX 15]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_two-weapon-fighting)  
The character can fight with a weapon wielded in each of her hands. She can make one extra attack each round with the secondary weapon.

[RACIAL ABILITIES: ELVEN](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advancedRaceGuide/coreRaces/elves.html#_elf-racial-traits)  
LANGUAGES - Tuatha begin play speaking Common and High Elven. Tuatha with high Intelligence scores can choose from the following: Celestial, Draconic, Gnoll, Gnome, Goblin, Orc, and Sylvan.

SPECIAL ABILITIES  
GODMARKED  
[HERO’S FORTUNE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/advancedNewRules.html#_hero's-fortune) \- Even at the start of his career, it was clear that the character had a chance at greatness, and his legend continues to grow with every adventure.  
[HONOR BOUND](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/cleric.html#_honor-bound) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (3 USES/DAY) – The character can, with a touch, remind a creature of its duties and responsibilities and help them shake off an enchantment or compulsion. He can also attempt to shake off effects of this nature that have affected him.  
[REMOVE FEAR](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/removeFear.html#_remove-fear) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY](1 USE/DAY) – The character instils courage in the subject, granting them a bonus against fear effects for 10 minutes.  
[REMOVE PARALYSIS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/removeParalysis.html#_remove-paralysis) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY](1 USE/DAY) – The character frees creatures from paralysis or slow effects.

CLASS FEATURES  
WEAPON AND ARMOUR PROFICIENCY: GUNSLINGER (PISTOLERO)  
Pistoleros are proficient with all simple and martial weapons, and with one-handed firearms. They are proficient with all light armour.

[GUNSMITH](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/classes/gunslinger.html#_gunsmith) (PISTOLERO)  
A gunslinger has a battered pistol, which only he knows how to properly use. To anyone else, the gun seems to be broken.

[FEAT: QUICK DRAW [REQUIRES: BAB +1]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_quick-draw)  
The gunslinger can draw weapons faster than most.

FEAT: [GUNSMITHING](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/ultimateCombatFeats.html#_gunsmithing)  
The character knows the secrets of repairing and restoring firearms.

[GRIT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/classes/gunslinger.html#_grit) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY] (2/2)  
Gunslingers make their mark upon the world with their grit, which they use to accomplish daring deeds (see below).

[DEEDS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/classes/gunslinger.html#_deeds)  
1\. [UP CLOSE AND DEADLY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/classArchetypes/gunslinger.html#_up-close-and-deadly) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
2\. [GUNSLINGER'S DODGE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/classes/gunslinger.html#_gunslinger%27s-dodge) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
3\. [QUICK CLEAR](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/classes/gunslinger.html#_quick-clear) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
[GUNSLINGER INITIATIVE [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/classes/gunslinger.html#_gunslinger-initiative) \- At 3rd level, as long as the gunslinger has at least 1 grit point, he is markedly faster to react to threats.  
[PISTOL-WHIP [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/classes/gunslinger.html#_pistol-whip) \- At 3rd level, the gunslinger can make a surprise melee attack with the butt or handle of his firearm for a cost of 1 grit point.  
[UTILITY SHOT [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/classes/gunslinger.html#_utility-shot) \- At 3rd level, as long as the gunslinger has at least 1 grit point, he can perform utility shots (Blast Lock- breaks locks open, Scoot Unattended Object- moves a tiny object up to 15 feet, and Stop Bleeding- uses the hot barrel of the gun to cauterize wounds).

[NIMBLE [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY] (+2)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/classes/gunslinger.html#_nimble)  
Starting at 2nd level, the gunslinger gains a dodge bonus to AC while wearing light or no armour.

[PISTOL TRAINING 1 [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/classArchetypes/gunslinger.html#_pistol-training)  
Starting at 5th level, the pistolero increases his skill with one-handed firearms, doing more damage in line with his Dexterity and becoming progressively less likely to misfire.

* * *

ROXY LALONDE [WIZARD](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/wizard.html#_wizard) 3 / [ROGUE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/rogue.html#_rogue) 2  
CHAOTIC GOOD

TL:DR – Second level spellcasting gives Roxy more powerful magic to play with, and her feat lets her take a second favoured class for bonuses when she levels in it (for which she selects Rogue- curiously enough, her other favoured class is _not_ wizard...)

[](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/5i92rjtgq134lqh/Roxy%20Lalonde.png?dl=0)

BASIC STATISTICS  
GENDER: Female  
HAIR/EYES: Blonde hair, pink eyes  
HOMELAND: City of Porthaven (Temple District)  
DEITY: The Rogue of Void  
LANGUAGES: Common, Celestial, High Elven, Draconic  
RACE: Aasimar

ATTRIBUTES  
STRENGTH: 10[+0]  
DEXTERITY: 13[+1]  
CONSTITUTION: 14[+2]  
INTELLIGENCE: 16[+3]  
WISDOM: 10[+0]  
CHARISMA: 14[+2]

HIT POINTS: 36/36  
HERO POINTS: 3/3  
INITIATIVE: +5  
BASE SPEED/S: 30ft (land)

ARMOUR CLASS [AC]: 11(15)  
TOUCH AC: 11  
FLAT-FOOTED AC: 10(14)

BASE ATTACK BONUS [BAB]: +2  
BASIC MELEE ATTACK: +2  
BASIC RANGED ATTACK: +3  
COMBAT MANEUVER BONUS [CMB]: +2  
COMBAT MANEUVER DEFENCE [CMD]: 13

SAVES  
FORTITUDE: +3  
REFLEX: +5  
WILL: +3

[WEAPONS/ATTACKS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_weapon-descriptions)  
[UNARMED](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_improved-unarmed-strike) [STRIKE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/combat.html#_unarmed-strike-damage)  
[CROSSBOW, LIGHT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_light-crossbow) – 20 ammunition  
[DAGGER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_dagger) \- Can be thrown, range 10ft.

EQUIPMENT - [CARRYING CAPACITY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/additionalRules.html#_carrying-capacity) (STR 10)

EQUIPMENT - ITEM SLOTS  
CLOTHING: ENTERTAINER'S OUTFIT  
This set of flashy- perhaps even gaudy- clothes is for entertaining. While the outfit looks whimsical, its practical design lets the character tumble, dance, walk a tightrope, or just run if the audience turns ugly.

EQUIPMENT - POSSESSIONS  
Crossbow (Light) 4lbs, Bolts (Crossbow) [x20] 2lb, Signet Ring, Dagger 1lb, Waterskin 4lbs, Hip Flask 2lbs

>POUCH, SPELL COMPONENTS 2lbs

>POUCH, BELT 0.5lbs (Capacity 10lbs)  
Ink (Black) [1oz. Vial], Inkpen, Pearl of Power (1st level)

TOTAL 15.5lbs

EQUIPMENT - MONEY  
0CP, 0SP, 0GP, 0PP  
OTHER:

SKILLS  
TRAINED  
+BLUFF +9(4), +DIPLOMACY +8(3), +DISABLE DEVICE* +8(4), +ESCAPE ARTIST +9(5)*, +KNOWLEDGE ARCANA +10(4), +SPELLCRAFT +10(4), +STEALTH +12(5)*, +USE MAGIC DEVICE +10(5)

UNTRAINED  
+ACROBATICS +1*, +APPRAISE +3, +CLIMB +0*, +CRAFT +3, +DISGUISE +2, HEAL +0, +INTIMIDATE +2, +PERCEPTION +2(4), +PERFORM +2, RIDE +1*, +SENSE MOTIVE +2(4), SURVIVAL +2, +SWIM +0*  
(+FLY +1*)

*Armour Check Penalty: Skill at –0 due to armour worn.  
+Class Skill

FEATS  
[ARCANE STRIKE [REQUIRES: ARCANE SPELLCASTING]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_arcane-strike)  
The character draws upon her arcane power to enhance her weapons with magical energy.

[IMPROVED INITIATIVE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_improved-initiative)   
The character's quick reflexes allow her to react rapidly to danger.

[ECLECTIC (ROGUE) [REQUIRES: HUMAN]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/advancedFeats.html#_eclectic)   
The character has a talent for picking up different vocations. NOTE: As there are no humans in the setting, the human requirement is accepted to apply to Aasimar as the closest equivalent.

[RACIAL ABILITIES: AASIMAR](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advancedRaceGuide/featuredRaces/aasimars.html#_aasimar-racial-traits)  
AASIMARS DO NOT COUNT AS OUTSIDERS FOR THE PURPOSE OF THIS SETTING.  
[DAYLIGHT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/daylight.html#_daylight) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Aasimars can touch an object and cause it to shed a brilliant light which drives back even magical darkness.  
LANGUAGES – Aasimars begin play speaking Common and Celestial. Aasimars with high Intelligence scores can choose any of the following bonus languages: Draconic, Dwarven, High Elven, Gnome, Halfling, and Sylvan.

SPECIAL ABILITIES  
GODMARKED  
[IMPROVED UNARMED STRIKE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_improved-unarmed-strike) \- The character is skilled at fighting while unarmed.  
[COPYCAT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/cleric.html#_trickery-domain) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (5 USES/DAY) – The character can briefly, dependent on her character level, create an illusory double of herself to distract or mislead others.  
EXTRA – Bluff, Disguise and Stealth are class skills.  
[ENTROPIC SHIELD](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/entropicShield.html#_entropic-shield) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY](2 USES/DAY) - A magical field appears around the character, glowing with a chaotic blast of multicolored hues and deflecting some incoming ranged attacks.  
[BLINDNESS/DEAFNESS (BLINDNESS ONLY)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/blindnessDeafness.html#_blindness-deafness) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY](1 USE/DAY) - This power renders the subject blind.

CLASS FEATURES  
WEAPON AND ARMOUR PROFICIENCY: WIZARD  
Wizards are proficient with the club, dagger, heavy crossbow, light crossbow, and quarterstaff, but not with any type of armour or shield. Armour interferes with a wizard's movements, which can cause her spells with somatic components to fail.

[ARCANE BOND](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/wizard.html#_arcane-bond) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]: [FAMILIAR](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/wizard.html#_familiars) (FRIGGLISH, [CAT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/monsters/familiar.html#_cat))  
Grants his master a +3 bonus on Stealth checks.  
If a familiar is dismissed, lost, or dies, it can be replaced 1 week later though a specialised ritual that costs 200gp per wizard level. The ritual takes 8 hours to complete.  
HIT POINTS: 18 HIT DICE: 5  
SIZE: Tiny REACH: 0ft SPEED: 30ft  
STR 3[-4], DEX 15[+2], CON 8[-1], INT 7[-2], WIS 12[+1], CHA 7[-2]  
ATTACK:  
BAB: +2 ATTACK: BITE +4 (1d3-4), CLAWS[x2] +4 (1d2-4)  
CMB: +2  
DEFENCE:  
AC: 16 (Natural Armour +2)  
CMD: 10 (14 vs. trip)  
SAVES: FORT 1, REF 6, WILL 4  
SKILLS:  
Climb 6, Perception 5, Stealth 14 (use master's skill ranks if better)  
FEATS:  
[Weapon Finesse](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_weapon-finesse)  
SPECIAL ABILITIES:  
[Low-Light Vision](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/glossary.html#_low-light-vision), [Scent](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/glossary.html#_scent), [Empathic Link](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/wizard.html#_familiar-empathic-link), [Improved Evasion](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/wizard.html#_familiar-improved-evasion), [Share Spells](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/wizard.html#_familiar-share-spells), [Deliver Touch Spells](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/wizard.html#_familiar-deliver-touch-spells)

ARCANE SCHOOL: [ILLUSION](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/wizard.html#_illusion-school)  
OPPOSITION SCHOOLS: [NECROMANCY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/wizard.html#_necromancy-school), [DIVINATION](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/wizard.html#_divination-school)  
A wizard that chooses to specialise in one school of magic must select two opposition schools whose spells are harder for them to cast, but they gain the ability to cast an additional spell from their school each day and related school powers.  
1\. EXTENDED ILLUSIONS [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY]  
2\. BLINDING RAY [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (5 USES/DAY)

FEAT: [SCRIBE SCROLL](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_scribe-scroll)  
The character can create magic scrolls.

FEAT: [ALERTNESS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_alertness) [REQUIRES: FAMILIAR WITHIN ARM'S REACH]  
The character often notices things that others might miss when her familiar is nearby.

[SNEAK ATTACK [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY] (+1d6 Precision Damage)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/rogue.html#_sneak-attack)  
A rogue can strike a vital spot for more damage whenever their foe is in a vulnerable position.

[TRAPFINDING](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/rogue.html#_trapfinding) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
The rogue adds 1/2 her level to Perception skill checks made to locate traps and to Disable Device skill checks (minimum +1). A rogue can use Disable Device to disarm magic traps.

[UNCANNY DODGE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/rogue.html#_uncanny-dodge-rogue) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
Starting at 4th level, the rogue can react to danger before her senses would normally allow her to do so.

ROGUE TALENTS  
[OFFENSIVE DEFENCE](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/classes/core-classes/rogue/rogue-talents/paizo---rogue-talents/offensive-defense-ex) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
When a rogue with this talent hits a creature with a melee sneak attack that deals sneak attack damage, the rogue gains greater defence against that foe.

SPELLS  
LEVEL 0 [4 Prepared, At Will] Save DC 12  
+(ILLU) GHOST SOUND – Figment sounds.  
+(TRANS) JOLT – Deal 1d3 Electrical damage with a ranged touch attack.  
+(TRANS) MESSAGE – Whisper conversation at distance.  
+(UNIV) PRESTIDIGITATION – Performs minor tricks.

WIZARD CANTRIPS KNOWN: [RESISTANCE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/resistance.html#_resistance), [ACID SPLASH](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/acidSplash.html#_acid-splash), [DRENCH](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/rare-cantrips), [DAZE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/daze.html#_daze), [BREEZE](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/rare-cantrips), [DANCING LIGHTS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/dancingLights.html#_dancing-lights), [FLARE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/flare.html#_flare), [LIGHT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/light.html#_light), [PENUMBRA](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/rare-cantrips), [RAY OF FROST](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/rayOfFrost.html#_ray-of-frost), [SCOOP](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/rare-cantrips), [SPARK](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/spells/spark.html#_spark-), [GHOST SOUND](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/ghostSound.html#_ghost-sound), [HAUNTED FEY ASPECT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/spells/hauntedFeyAspect.html#_haunted-fey-aspect), [JOLT](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/rare-cantrips), [MAGE HAND](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/mageHand.html#_mage-hand), [MENDING](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/mending.html#_mending), [MESSAGE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/message.html#_message), [OPEN/CLOSE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/openClose.html#_open-close), [ROOT](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/rare-cantrips), [ARCANE MARK](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/arcaneMark.html#_arcane-mark), [PRESTIDIGITATION](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/prestidigitation.html#_prestidigitation)

LEVEL 1 [3/Day+1 Prepared] Save DC 13  
SCHOOL SPELL (ILLUSION):  
+(ILLU)VANISH – As invisibility for 1 round/level (5 max).  
+(CONJ) MAGE ARMOUR – Gives subject +4 armour bonus.  
++(ENCH)CHARM PERSON – Makes one person your friend.

WIZARD FIRST-LEVEL SPELLS KNOWN: [MAGE ARMOUR](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/mageArmor.html#_mage-armor), [DISGUISE SELF](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/disguiseSelf.html#_disguise-self), [ILLUSION OF CALM](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/spells/illusionOfCalm.html#_illusion-of-calm), [MAGIC AURA](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/magicAura.html#_magic-aura), [SHADOW WEAPON](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spells/shadowWeapon.html#_shadow-weapon), [VANISH](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/spells/vanish.html#_vanish), [CHARM PERSON](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/charmPerson.html#_charm-person)

LEVEL 2 [2/Day+1 Prepared] Save DC 14  
SCHOOL SPELL (ILLUSION):  
+(ILLU) MISDIRECTION - Misleads divinations for 1 creature or object.  
++(ILLU) INVISIBILITY - Subject is invisible for 1 min./level or until it attacks.

WIZARD SECOND-LEVEL SPELLS KNOWN: [MISDIRECTION](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/misdirection.html#_misdirection), [INVISIBILITY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/invisibility.html#_invisibility)

* * *

DIRK STRIDER [BARD](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/bard.html#_bard) ([SOUND STRIKER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spellcastingClassOptions/bard.html#_sound-striker-\(archetype\))) 5  
NEUTRAL GOOD

TL:DR – Dirk gained a new spell that is basically a Flashstep, and a bardic ability that makes him good at just knowing stuff. He also picked up a feat that does jack shit on its own, but will later let him take feats for crafting magic items well ahead of the curve (bards have shitty caster level, okay?).

[ ](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/l063jz6sb9qxflb/Dirk%20Strider.png?dl=0)

BASIC STATISTICS  
GENDER: Male  
HAIR/EYES: Blonde hair, orange eyes  
HOMELAND: City of Porthaven (No Fixed Abode)/The Greenweald Forest Region (No Fixed Abode)  
DEITY: The Prince of Heart  
LANGUAGES: Common, Celestial, High Elven, Dwarven  
RACE: Aasimar

ATTRIBUTES  
STRENGTH: 13[+1]  
DEXTERITY: 12[+1]  
CONSTITUTION: 10[+0]  
INTELLIGENCE: 14[+2]  
WISDOM: 10[+0]  
CHARISMA: 18[+4]

HIT POINTS: 30/30  
HERO POINTS: 3/3  
INITIATIVE: +1  
BASE SPEED/S: 30ft (land)

ARMOUR CLASS [AC]: 14  
TOUCH AC: 11  
FLAT-FOOTED AC: 13

BASE ATTACK BONUS [BAB]: +3  
BASIC MELEE ATTACK: +4  
BASIC RANGED ATTACK: +4  
COMBAT MANEUVER BONUS [CMB]: +4  
COMBAT MANEUVER DEFENCE [CMD]: 15

SAVES  
FORTITUDE: +1  
REFLEX: +5  
WILL: +4

[WEAPONS/ATTACKS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/combat/easternArmorAndWeapons.html#_table-eastern-weapons-exotic)  
[MASTERWORK KATANA](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_katana) – This is a [deadly](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/combat/easternArmorAndWeapons.html#_deadly) weapon.  
[DAGGER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_dagger) \- Can be thrown, range 10ft.

EQUIPMENT - [CARRYING CAPACITY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/additionalRules.html#_carrying-capacity) (STR 13)

EQUIPMENT - ITEM SLOTS  
CLOTHING: ENTERTAINER'S OUTFIT + MASK  
This set of flashy- perhaps even gaudy- clothes is for entertaining. While the outfit looks whimsical, its practical design lets the character tumble, dance, walk a tightrope, or just run if the audience turns ugly. The mask is made from painted, varnished wood and cloth; it is ornate, gaudy even- a cheaper and more practical imitation of what a nobleman might wear to a masquerade ball.

ARMOUR: MASTERWORK STUDDED LEATHER  
+3 armour bonus, +5 max DEX bonus, -0 Armour Check Penalty, 15% Arcane Spell Failure Chance, LIGHT  
SPECIAL: Masterwork armour has an Armour Check Penalty one lower than normal and can be enchanted.

EQUIPMENT - POSSESSIONS  
Masterwork Katana 6lbs, Masterwork Studded Leather 20lbs, Clothing (Mask, 3gp) 1lb, Dagger 1lb, Waterskin 4lbs

>BACKPACK, COMMON 2lbs (Capacity 60lbs)  
Tent (Small, 1 person) 20lbs, Bedroll 5lbs, Kit (Juggler's) 10lbs, Rations (Wandermeal) [x14] [Eating this tough, dried cake for over a week without other nutrients causes the eater to feel ill] 7lbs

>POUCH, BELT 0.5lbs (Capacity 10lbs)  
Flint and Steel, Whetstone 1lb

>CARAVAN (Capacity 200lbs, Can produce mundane items up to 25gp in value)  
Maplehoof (Heavy Horse)

TOTAL 77.5lb (33.5lbs without backpack)

EQUIPMENT - MONEY  
13CP, 6SP, 7GP, 0PP  
OTHER:

SKILLS  
TRAINED  
+APPRAISE +6(1), +BLUFF +11(4), +CRAFT(SCULPTURES) +12(5), +CRAFT(WEAPONS) +10(5), +DIPLOMACY +10(3), HANDLE ANIMAL +5(1), +INTIMIDATE +8(1), +KNOWLEDGE LOCAL +8(2), +PERCEPTION +7(4), +PERFORM(SHARP RHYMES) +11(4), +PERFORM(SWEET MOVES) +11(4), +SENSE MOTIVE +8(5)

UNTRAINED  
+ACROBATICS +1(+7)*, +CLIMB +1*, +CRAFT +2, +DISGUISE +4, +ESCAPE ARTIST +1*, HEAL +0, +KNOWLEDGE ARCANA +3, +KNOWLEDGE DUNGEONEERING +3, +KNOWLEDGE ENGINEERING +3, +KNOWLEDGE GEOGRAPHY +3, +KNOWLEDGE HISTORY +3, +KNOWLEDGE NATURE +3, +KNOWLEDGE NOBILITY +3, +KNOWLEDGE PLANES +3, +KNOWLEDGE RELIGION +3, +PERFORM +3, RIDE +1*, +STEALTH +1*, SURVIVAL +0, SWIM +1*  
(FLY +1*)

*Armour Check Penalty: Skill at –0 due to armour worn.  
+Class Skill

FEATS  
[SPELLSONG [REQUIRES: CHA 13, BARDIC PERFORMANCE, 1st-LEVEL SPELLCASTING]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/ultimateMagicFeats.html#_spellsong)  
The character can blend the power of his performance and spellcasting.

[LINGERING PERFORMANCE [REQUIRES: BARDIC PERFORMANCE CLASS FEATURE]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/advancedFeats.html#_lingering-performance)   
The effects of the character's bardic performance carry on, even after he has stopped performing.

[MASTER CRAFTSMAN (CRAFT: SCULPTURES) [REQUIRES: 5 RANKS IN ANY CRAFT OR PROFESSION SKILL]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_master-craftsman)   
The character's superior crafting skills allow him to create simple magic items.

[RACIAL ABILITIES: AASIMAR](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advancedRaceGuide/featuredRaces/aasimars.html#_aasimar-racial-traits)  
AASIMARS DO NOT COUNT AS OUTSIDERS FOR THE PURPOSE OF THIS SETTING.  
[DAYLIGHT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/daylight.html#_daylight) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Aasimars can touch an object and cause it to shed a brilliant light which drives back even magical darkness.  
LANGUAGES – Aasimars begin play speaking Common and Celestial. Aasimars with high Intelligence scores can choose any of the following bonus languages: Draconic, Dwarven, High Elven, Gnome, Halfling, and Sylvan.

SPECIAL ABILITIES  
GODMARKED  
WEAPON PROFICIENCY (KATANA)  
[DESTRUCTIVE SMITE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/cleric.html#_destruction-domain) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (7 USES/DAY)– The character can do more damage on a single melee attack, dependent on his character level.   
[DEATHWATCH](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/deathwatch.html#_deathwatch) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY](2 USES/DAY) - The character can determine the condition of creatures near death within the spell's range.  
[GENTLE REPOSE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/gentleRepose.html#_gentle-repose) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY](1 USE/DAY) - Preserves one corpse from decay for 1 day/character level.

CLASS FEATURES  
WEAPON AND ARMOUR PROFICIENCY: BARD  
A bard is proficient with all simple weapons, plus the longsword, rapier, sap, shortsword, shortbow and whip. Bards are also proficient with light armour and shields (except tower shields). A bard can cast bard spells while wearing light armour and using a shield without incurring the normal arcane spell failure chance. Like any other arcane spellcaster, a bard wearing medium or heavy armour incurs a chance of arcane spell failure is the spell in question has a somatic component. A multiclass bard still incurs the normal arcane spell failure chance for arcane spells received from other classes.

BARDIC KNOWLEDGE [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
A bard has a little knowledge in all areas, and learns more as he becomes more experienced.

[BARDIC PERFORMANCE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/bard.html#_bardic-performance) (16 ROUNDS/DAY)  
A bard can create magical effects around him, so long as he is able to keep performing. He can make use of the following abilities when he performs, so long as he can be seen and/or heard by those he wishes to affect.  
1\. COUNTERSONG [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY]  
2\. DISTRACTION [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY]  
3\. FASCINATE [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (TARGETS 1)  
4\. INSPIRE COURAGE (+2) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY]

[VERSATILE PERFORMANCE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/bard.html#_versatile-performance) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY] (Perform [Sweet Moves])  
At 2nd level, the bard can choose one type of Perform skill. He can use his bonus in that skill in place of his bonus in associated skills. Perform (Sweet Moves) can substitute for: Acrobatics, Fly

[WELL-VERSED](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/bard.html#_well-versed) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
At 2nd level, the bard becomes resistant to the bardic performance of others, and to sonic effects in general.

[WORDSTRIKE [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spellcastingClassOptions/bard.html#_wordstrike) 1D4+4 (1/2 for living creatures)  
At 3rd level, the sound striker can direct bursts of sonic power in his words, damaging creatures or objects.

[LORE MASTER [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/bard.html#_lore-master) 1/DAY  
At 5th level, the bard becomes a master of lore and can perform any Knowledge skill check he has experience in with ease.

SPELLS  
LEVEL 0 [At Will] Save DC 13  
[DETECT MAGIC](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/detectMagic.html#_detect-magic), [MENDING](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/mending.html#_mending), [MESSAGE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/message.html#_message), [PRESTIDIGITATION](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/prestidigitation.html#_prestidigitation), [SIFT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/spells/sift.html#_sift), [UNWITTING ALLY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/spells/unwittingAlly.html#_unwitting-ally)

LEVEL 1 [5/Day] Save DC 14  
[CHORD OF SHARDS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spells/chordOfShards.html#_chord-of-shards), [CURE LIGHT WOUNDS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/cureLightWounds.html#_cure-light-wounds), [MOMENT OF GREATNESS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/spells/momentOfGreatness.html#_moment-of-greatness), [TIMELY INSPIRATION](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/spells/timelyInspiration.html#_timely-inspiration)

LEVEL 2 [3/Day] Save DC 16  
[ALLEGRO](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spells/allegro.html#_allegro), [BLADED DASH](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/all-spells/b/bladed-dash), [MASTERWORK TRANSFORMATION](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spells/masterworkTransformation.html#_masterwork-transformation)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Many, many cool things this level. Although I had to fudge with Gamzee, because I missed a prerequisite when writing the feat plan and didn't check my list properly last level and basically it was all a nightmare.
> 
> Point is, we are now moving out of the "these guys are ordinary mortals who are getting progressively better" level zone and into the "these guys are frikkin' superhuman" zone, which means fun things. Some highlights include: John getting the Windy Thing, Rose getting a Grimdark thing, Dirk getting a Flashstep thing, Kanaya getting two kinds of energy channeling, Jane getting to whap people _really hard_ in future, and Jake getting competent with a pistol in each hand. :)
> 
> Thank you all for your contributions and ongoing readership! Appreciation abounds for you all! :)


	84. ==> Jake: Have Some Jolly Curious Conversations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Hero point votes:**  
>  NO VOTES CAST THIS ROUND
> 
>  **Current Hero Points:**  
>  John 2/5, Rose 4/5, **Dave 3/3, Jade 3/3**  
>  Karkat 3/5, **Gamzee 3/3,** Terezi 2/5  
>  **Sollux 3/3, Aradia 3/3,** Kanaya 4/5  
>  Jane 3/5, Jake 2/5, **Roxy 3/3, Dirk 3/3**

## ==> Jake: Have Some Jolly Curious Conversations

Whilst you wouldn’t describe yourself as a deceitful sort of chap, you have been known to indulge in the odd spot of skulduggery now and again. It stands you in good stead as you are shaken out of your trance in the dead of night and open your eyes to see the boisterous fellow that you’ve come to think of as your Elfpop holding out a cloak to you. A finger against his lips cautions you to silence, and his other hand beckons you to follow.

You’ve taken to being ready to spring into action at a moment’s notice, and it is the work of mere moments to holster your pistols and grab your pack from under the couch. Across the room Elfpop is already waking Sollux; the arcane glow of his eyes tells you when he opens them, but he’s a surprisingly quiet sort when he wants to be and the three of you slip out into the corridor without a word spoken.

The inn is quiet at night, faint echoes of city noise slipping in with the moonlight, and you’ve no need for torches after a lifetime underground. The girls step out of the room next to yours, led by Elfmom, and your blood parents share a nod that carries clear meaning.

_Are you ready?_

_Yes, let’s go._

Floorboards creak as you tiptoe downstairs, heavily laden and having a real sight of it trying not to trip over Bec as the wolf winds down the steps past you. Jade hisses orders at her companion, who disregards her utterly. You see Sollux eye the animal with some distaste, which you suppose you can fathom. It would be jolly unsettling to you, too, being so close to a clearly untame lupine, were it not for the trusty firearms hanging at your sides.

The taproom is mostly empty, save for a few stout shapes slumped over tables where they couldn’t hold their cheer. The lighter ones you moved upstairs to rooms earlier; Elfpop grumbled, but Elfmom refused to turn them out after curfew, and compassion emerged the victor of the day. The six of you have just begun your passage across the room when the sound of metal on cobblestone rings outside, and torchlight flickers through the gaps in the shutters. You all freeze.

“…quieted down in the last week,” says a voice, just outside the inn. “Doesn’t feel right, in the Adventurer’s Quarter.”

“Well, what do you expect?” says another, this one female and gruff. “Half the damn rats deserted the city after the High Priest’s Law was declared, and most of the rest were locked up soon after. The Quarter’s a ghost town.”

“You want to be careful, talking like that,” the first voice replies. “The Grey Guard…”

Their footsteps carry them out of hearing range, and the bobbing torchlight outside fades away. Elfpop sets out again as soon as the night quiets; you see Elfmom frown briefly before she follows. You focus on picking your way across the room without crashing into anything or tripping over. You've almost made it when disaster strikes- Elfmom walks into a chair and it clatters against a table, and at the same moment Elfpop stubs his toe on a shield and curses.

“Hmm?” says a voice from one of the tables. “Whazzat?”

You all flee the last few feet as a couple of forms start stirring and duck behind the bar. Elfmom puts her hands on her hips and glares at the armour-clad aasimar who is blinking at her.

“Go back to sleep,” she says, not even bothering to offer an excuse for her presence in her own taproom. After a moment, the sleepy adventurer does as she suggests, slumping back down. You all sigh in relief and stay low as Elfpop pulls open the heavy wooden trapdoor behind the bar. One by one you all troop down into the cellar, where large racks of barrels and bottles sit waiting in rows in the darkness. As soon as Elfmom closes the trapdoor behind you there is a spark, and Elfpop raises a lit lantern from off a cupboard shelf.

“Are they meeting us here?” asks Jade, almost bouncing in excitement, and your blood father grins.

“Nah. We’re going to meet them,” he says, and tugs down on the shelf that had held the lantern. The back of the cupboard swings away to reveal a tunnel leading out of the cellar.

Aradia squeaks and claps her hands. “Ooh, secret tunnel!”

She’s not the only one delighted; Jade’s eyes are sparkling, and you’re barely holding back from some hearty guffaws of appreciation.

“My father’s work,” says Elfpop, stepping into the tunnel. “You know he used to be an adventurer before he retired and built the Waypoint?”

“You menthioned,” Sollux grumbles, as the rest of you nod with varying degrees of enthusiasm.

“Well, Jade, Jake, I don’t know how familiar you are with the lifestyle, but most adventuring types end up running to massive bloody paranoia.” Elfpop ducks under a low beam, the lantern bobbing. “Which is why my father had this tunnel made. The old coot figured that it wouldn’t hurt to have somewhere to run to if an old enemy came knocking.”

“It’s not the only place in the city with a tunnel like this,” says Elfmom, from the rear of the party. There’s a chopping hatchet in her hand, ready to sink into the skull of any wayward vagabonds who might waylay you, and you’re starting to really feel some kinship with these people. “Over the generations, a lot of people have found reason to burrow under Porthaven. There aren’t many who know the full extent of the tunnels, but the people we’re going to meet are among them.”

Elfpop comes to a standstill and you look past him to see a wall of stone blocks at the end of the tunnel.

“Right, this is going to take a bit of heft,” he says, and passes the torch back to Jade. He rolls up his sleeves and with both hands shoves at the stone, hard; there’s a loud clunk, and it slides forwards, leaving a narrow gap that an elf can just about squeeze through. Elfpop wheezes and mops at his forehead.

“Stupid old bastard,” he mutters. “Forgot not everybody spends the better part of fifteen years waving a falchion about the place!”

“You could have asked for help,” points out Elfmom, walking past him and slipping through the crack. There’s a brief pause, then her hand sticks back through. “All clear.”

Jade passes her the torch, then squeezes through second. There’s a spot of bother when Aradia tries to follow suit; her horns clatter on the sides of the rock, and she hesitates, wedged halfway through the gap.

“Uhm,” she says, blushing sheepishly and in a manner that you wouldn’t mind saying is rather fetching. “I could use a hand!”

Elfpop scratches his head. “I’m not certain it goes out any further,” he says. “Hang on, I’ll give it a shove.” Turning, he sets his back to the stone and heaves, to no apparent effect. You frown, looking at the moveable wall; you may not technically be a dwarf, but you were raised like one, and the stone in your soul knows damned well that a big chunk of masonry like this wouldn’t budge without some sort of mechanism to help it along.

You spot what you’re looking for when Elfpop shifts his feet for better purchase. Sollux starts when you grab his arm and gives you a ferocious glare, but you ignore him and point to the edge of the metal rail that you’ve spotted peeking out from under the secret door-wall. It’s rusty around the edges and hardly smooth enough to be a friction easer, which means…

“Tell you what, old chap,” you say. “See if you’ve got any magical mojo that can either grease that up or charge it.”

He looks at you like you’ve gone completely doollally. “Charge it? It’th not a row of archerth.”

Oh, right. You’d forgotten that most people don’t grow up around inventors. “Not a cavalry charge, an amberic one.” He looks utterly befuddled, so you clarify further. “Like sparks. Or lightning.”

The grin that appears on his face is downright unholy. “Well, why didn’t you thay tho? Thtand back!”

“Not too much!” you yell, but the spark has already jumped from his hand to the rail, and with a flash and a rumble the wall positively shoots back. Aradia pops through the now much wider crack in the rock and Elfpop tumbles over onto his rear with a shout. You hasten to help the poor chap up.

“Good thinking, kiddo,” he says, as you haul him upright. “What in the hells just happened?”

“Thomething cool,” says Sollux. There’s a light in his eyes that isn’t entirely arcane, and his hands are still raised. You rub at the back of your neck, a little uncomfortable with showing just how elvish you aren’t.

“Well, it’s not really something I know much about per se,” you say, hedging your bets. “More of a Loderock Clan thing than a Quartzkin one, but Mom- sorry, my Dwarf Mom- she was in correspondence with one of their master craftsmen about the whole business.”

Fortunately Elfmom doesn’t seem put out by your slip-up. “What business was that?” she asks, head poking back around the now doorway-width gap.

“Well, the Loderock Clan started out doing experiments with lodestone and iron, since they’ve got enough of the bally stuff to build a fortress or two.” You step through the gap. Elfmom gives you an encouraging smile and a _please, continue_ gesture. “Then they heard about some similar properties possessed by amber, so they started buying it up. Got all sorts of machines and doohickeys that make sparks or use sparks, and they’re a dab hand at lightning magic and enchantments. My mo- my Dwarf Mom, she wants to experiment with amberic sparks as a possible ignition source for firearms, and the chap she’s corresponding with is curious as to whether the attractive and energetic properties of lodestone and amber can be derived alchemically.” You shrug. “All a bit over my head, but what ho, don’t need to know all the ins and outs. I’ve seen a few iron-railed mechanisms in the past and to move rock like that, they either need wheels or a kick up the backside from an amberic source…”

Your voice trails off because you’re somewhat taken aback by the goofy grin Elfmom is giving you.

“My clever little boy,” she says, voice heavy with emotion, and ruffles your hair. Everything is exceedingly awkward for a few seconds until Sollux walks past you, stomping heavily. It breaks the odd moment and you hasten after him, but your eagerness is soon quashed by a blasphemous stench that assaults your nasal passages like a common footpad.

Jade and Bec smell it too, the pair of them stopping and slamming their hands- or paws- over their noses at the same moment. “Urgh! What is that!?”

“Sewers,” say Elfmom, Elfdad, Aradia and Sollux in chorus. You and Jade glance at once another, then follow behind your compatriots, breathing cautiously and through your mouths. Sure enough, the passage opens up into a sewer tunnel, and you are forced to travel single file along a walkway slippery with things you prefer not to contemplate.

“It’s weird, isn’t it?” says Jade. You glance back over your shoulder, but don’t dare to take too much attention from where you’re putting your feet. For that matter, you think you should remain ready for a tussle, because who’s to say the sewage is the only foul thing down here?

“You’ll have to be a mite more specific, old girl,” you say. “Because I’ve seen a darned sight more weird these past few weeks than in all the years previous!”

Jade snorts, and the sound is swallowed by the rush of water from a nearby grate. “I mean them.” She nods towards the two elves leading your party. “Mom and Dad. It’s just… weird.”

You have to ponder that one, turning it over and over in your mind as you step around suspicious slick patches of stone. “Just a tad,” you admit. “Truth is, I’m having a spot of bother just thinking of them that way. Not that I want to deny being their blood- they’re good sports, really, and a dab hand at conspiracies, and a fellow would be downright proud to be related to them…”

Jade is nodding. “But they’re not your parents,” she says, quietly. You nod.

“You’re my sister, though,” you tell her. “Just… I have another sister, too, apart from you and Jane. And she’s three feet wide and grey-skinned, with sideburns. So maybe one day I can have four parents, too?”

Jade tilts her head, a gesture that seems almost canine. “One of my parents is a wolf,” she says. You nod in understanding, and by a form of telepathy unknown to mage or priest you silently agree to never, ever bring this up around Elfpop or Elfmom. Or John and Jane, if you ever find the buggers.

Your procession halts at a sewer grate that seems suspiciously dry and clean, an impression only reinforced when your Elfmom tugs it open and it swings like a well-oiled door. The pipe beyond is absurdly spacious, enough for you to walk along it with only a slight stoop, and in short order you have left the stench of sewage behind.

“I must say, you don’t seem all that surprised by all this,” you say to Aradia. She grins at you, fangs gleaming in the darkness.

“Well, it’s a pretty common rumour amongst adventurers that the Porthaven sewers are basically a secret tunnel network!” she says. “And most people in the quarter know of one or two secret doors and routes. Sollux, Kanaya and I have used them to get about secretly in the past, although we usually stuck to the proper entrances and exits.”

“Gosh.” You contemplate this. There wasn’t really an equivalent in the clanhold; the old mineshafts, maybe, but they never led anywhere interesting and were more of a place for lollygagging and dodging the old bill. “Sounds jolly exciting!”

“Which part?” she asks.

You rub at the back of your neck again. “Well, your whole life, really. I never did anything that interesting until I was kidnapped by drow!”

“Trutht me, our whole liveth thuck and _interethting_ is uthually jutht unpleathant,” says Sollux. Aradia gives him a gentle shove between the shoulder blades.

“It’s not that bad!” she says. “We get to see lots of cool stuff and meet awesome people…”

“…then we get curthed by it or attacked by them,” Sollux adds. “Then there’th living out of tentth, exthpentheth, the fantathtic combination of fear and thero rethpect that motht thivvieth have for uth…”

Your lips move as you work out the word. “Civvies?”

“Civilians,” says Aradia. “And that’s not true, Sollux, lots of people respect adventurers!”

“Exthept the rich oneth, the powerful oneth, and the law enforthing oneth, who either want to hire uth, kill uth, or lock uth up.” Sollux scowls. “Whoop de fucking do, the poor, powerleth people like uth. Forgive me for not thelebrating.”

Your brow wrinkles as you think about this.”’Fraid I have to agree with the lady on this one, old boy. Your point sounds a tad cynical to me.”

“That’s because he’s a cynic,” says Jade. Sollux mutters imprecations at her and hunches his shoulders.

“Mind you,” you say, thoughtful. “I have to say that things have been rather interesting lately. That other Aradia was jolly curious!”

“Yeah, what was up with that?” Jade asks. “We haven't really talked about it.”

“Yeah, becauthe that'th not the thort of thing you bring up where people can overhear it,” says Sollux, with an anxious glance towards your parentals. “Divine intervention like that ith not a good thing!”

“Who says it's divine intervention?” you ask. “Could be a long-lost relative. Got a few of those myself!”

Sollux scowls at you, but Jade beats him to answering. “Can't be,” she says, shaking her head. “Tieflings don't have brothers and sisters; it's really rare that they have anyone who looks like them that much, and when they do it's usually generations apart like with some elf ancestors!” She shakes her head. “Either her relative was a time-traveller, or that was an imposter.”

“Tho why would an impothter help uth?” asks Sollux. His voice drops. “Aradia'th marked by Time. If the Maid thent a thervant, or manifethted... that wath not a normal perthon, or normal magic!”

You consider this, and are ready to concede that maybe he has a point there, when Aradia gives her head a firm shake.

“No,” she says. “It wasn't any of those things. I know it.”

“Tho what wath it then?” asks Sollux.

“And why did she give me the book?” you add. It's in your pack, and although you can't see it or even feel the weight due to the magic of the haversack you can sense it, the hairs on the back of your neck prickling. There's no question in your mind that scary-Aradia gave it to you, personally, and not just the closest person.

“Here we are!” declares Elfpop, before anyone can say anything more, and your small procession draws to a halt in front of a heavy metal door carved with an ominous-looking but very, very cool skull.

“Where’s here?” Jade asks, eyeing the door with some suspicion.

Elfmom looks back over her shoulder and smiles at you all. “Ah-ah-ah, you’ll see soon enough,” she says.

Blasted mysterious woman! Something about that door is making your feet itch, like you want to already be through it and plundering the mysteries beyond. Fortunately you don’t have to wait long, as Elfpop’s hammering is cut off by the large door swinging open to reveal a figure in a dark blue cloak. For a moment your hands drift towards your weapons, before you see that the swathes of cloth aren’t the same as those worn by the mysterious Grey Guard and that this person lacks the same sense of omnipresent malice.

“You made it,” says the hooded figure. She holds out a hand from under her cloak, a half-dozen skull amulets dangling from her fist. “Here, take these and put them on. You’ll need them to traverse the Temple safely.”

You slip yours around your neck and are filled with an immediate and exhilarating sense of belonging, the skin between your shoulderblades flushing warm for an instant. Whatever magic is in the pendant, it could have been cast just for you. You watch out of the corner of your eye, but the others don’t seem to have the same reaction. Sollux is the last to put his on, after a whispered conversation with the haunted amulet he’s already wearing. Vaguely, you remember something your father told you about magical items once, about how you can only wear one of a given type at any time.

You almost wish you’d paid more attention now, but at the time you’d been more interested in how he had abused the properties of two magical belts to blow up an orc chieftain. Dad always did have the best bedtime stories.

“Follow me,” the cloaked woman says. “Tread where I tread, and don’t touch anything if you value your life.”

Thus warned, you set out down a corridor that practically begs you to do the opposite. It’s hardly narrow, but the ceiling is so high that it seems that way; decorative stone ledges and wooden rafters practically make a second floor overhead, and you can make out hints of alcoves up there in the gloom. On ground level there are side passages everywhere, and alcoves that contain chests or carved idols in precious metals and stones or in some cases, suspiciously empty sconces. Your guide has a moonrod in her hand and apart from the guttering torch your party brought it is the only light in the place. The shadows swoop and dive, and you fix your gaze on the patterned slabs that make up the floor, only to note that the patterns form intricate mazes and that sometimes- just occasionally- one of them is subtly wrong.

You look at the walls again, and see the slits that shadow almost hides, and wonder just how many traps this amulet lets you walk past.

Your guide stops by one of the empty sconce alcoves, takes a sharp step to the side, and tugs the metal bracket down from around the corner. The floor under where a person might stand to attempt such a thing drops away into a pit, then the stone spins back up and the back wall opens. A warm glow and the chatter of voices comes from within.

Your guide smiles at your stunned faces. “Welcome to the resistance,” she says, and strolls over the closed pit into the secret room beyond. You get over your surprise fast and follow her into a circular chamber that would be mostly bare were it not for the barrels and crates stacked around the walls, the blankets on the floor, and the laundry hanging from the rafters. You can see multiple indents around the walls that have to be sconce-doors, and magical lights bob around near the ceiling to make the place almost as bright as day. They sparkle off the large fountain in the centre of the room, which from the clarity of the water you surmise is fed by a clean underground source. And everywhere, in every corner, there are people.

“Where are we?” asks Jade, eyes wide. Elfmom chuckles.

“In the Temple of the Page, right under the nose of the High Priest of Light,” she says. You look at her in surprise and she shrugs. “It seemed appropriate that the Church of Hope be the last bastion against despair, and besides, there’s nowhere better defended or easier to sneak people into when you have support on the inside.”

“The Grey Guard could search this place for a hundred years and find nothing,” says a new voice. A man strides over, an elf in well-made leather armour with dark skin and hair. From the skull-shaped clasp on his green cloak, you guess he’s connected to the Temple you are currently standing in; these chaps do seem rather fond of their motif. “The Page commands that we build his temples to mislead and endanger all intruders, no matter their power, and here in Porthaven we have one of his greatest houses.”

“So you’re hiding all these people?” asks Aradia, looking out across the camp. The man nods.

“We’ll have to open another of the inner chambers soon. The Grey Guard have been busy.” He extends a hand towards Aradia. “Dedicate Skullseeker, Second Priest of the Page. The High Priestess gives her apologies, but she was away questing when this whole business began and her ship is currently crossing through the Pirate Straits.”

Aradia shakes his hand, and he moves on to Sollux, Jade and you. He’s got a firm grip, and weapon callouses on his palm.

“How did you get so many people here in secret?” asks Jade. “The tunnels?”

“We’ve had a lot of help,” says the priest. “As you’re about to find out. Council of war is this way.” He beckons you over and you all follow him across the room, to where an odd cluster of people are sitting on a dragged-together circle of crates and barrels. You see the blue-cloaked woman from earlier, a burly orc and an armoured aasimar who have “adventurer” written all over them, a man wearing an ornate mask, two men in rich silks and linens, and a slightly grubby woman with a scarred lip in a battered, heavy coat and a red scarf.

“Ladies and gentlemen, allow me to introduce our final guests,” says Dedicate Skullseeker, taking a seat on a crate. “The proprietors of the Waypoint Inn, who have been instrumental in getting people targeted by the Grey Guard to safety, and the four who escaped custody. I know you wished to avoid names here, so let me introduce you as a cleric of the Rogue and of the Prince-” the woman in blue and the masked man nodded- “representatives of the adventuring and mercantile communities-” indicating the orc, the aasimar, and the richly dressed men- “and a, er, community leader…”

The scruffy woman gives a bark of laughter. “Oh, very delicately put, Master Skullseeker!” She nods to your group. “Me and my friends don’t like authorities much at the best of times, and we have some issues to take up with the High Priest of Light. You can call me the Scarlet Lady for the moment; it’s as good a name as any.”

Aradia shakes her hand before you can get there. “I’ve heard of you! You’re supposed to be the head of all the th…”

“So!” says Dedicate Skullseeker brightly. “What do we know about the current situation?”

Everyone starts talking at once. Elfmom sighs, stands up, and kicks the barrel she was just sitting on hard enough to dent the wood. Everyone falls silent.

“One at a time, perhaps?” she suggests. You are treated to the inimitable sight of a number of important dignitaries looking vaguely ashamed of themselves, and grin, because you have the best Elfmom. A quick wink in your direction tells you that she’s not unaware of your admiration, but before chaos can break out again she points at the masked priest.

“You,” she says. “Your lot always want to know the lay of the land. Start sharing.”

The man gets to his feet as your blood mother sits down, his hands resting loosely clasped behind his back. “The facts of the situation are as follows,” he says, not even seeming to look at anyone in the circle. “A month ago, the Oracle of Light vanished from this city. At the same time her sister, the Chosen of the Rogue, two Watch members in training who happened to be acquainted with them, and an entire Clan of Phooka also left without clue or explanation. The High Priest of Light claims kidnapping by the Phooka of the Oracle and her sister, orchestrated by one of the other coastal cities. On the strength of this claim he pronounces martial law over the city of Porthaven, restricting travel and communication internally and to the outside. This law is enforced by the Grey Guard, a mysterious regiment who were allegedly recruited from the Temple elite but who cannot be accounted for by the missing numbers within the Temple Guard alone.” The mask starts to turn, looking around the circle. “Those who are detained by the Grey Guard vanish. We have been unable to locate them, even with magic, and agents we sent in have vanished. We have found this lack of information extremely disturbing, particularly when paired with the historical precedents of previous actions taken by leaders that target a population. Our conclusion is that we are being deliberately mislead and misdirected to mask an ongoing power coup.”

Everyone looks at him a little blankly, apart from the Scarlet Lady, who chuckles. “He’s saying that if it looks like a plague rat and smells like a plague rat, then it’s probably a gods-damned plague rat, and that the High Priest of Light is grabbing an opportunity to lock every other Temple out of the Council.”

“I don’t care who’s in charge!” snaps one of the merchant representatives. “I want to open up the roads again! Gods and politics is as does, but I’m losing profits!”

His friend grumbles in agreement; next to them, the large orc taps her fingers on her knee.

“I should be more wary, were I you,” she says. “Rarely do those who seek power deserve its wielding.”

The other merchant snorts. “Oh, well said, coming from a two-bit dungeon delver!”

“You got a problem with dungeon delvers?” asks the aasimar, his eyes narrowing. The merchant shuffles away slightly.

Dedicate Skullseeker clears his throat. “Getting back on track, does anyone have anything to add?”

“I do.” The blue-cloaked priestess of the Rogue stands up. “My brother of the Mask has given a pretty clear picture, but he's missing some things. The Rogue sees more than people think.” She looks solemnly around the circle. “Our agents tell us that the High Priest sent contingents of the Temple Guard to retrieve the Oracle, and that their orders were to be certain she was killed in the crossfire of the rescue.”

There are gasps from around the circle. The priestess folds her arms. “We know more. The Grey Guard aren't drawn from the Temple Guard at all. Shortly before the Oracle vanished, the High Priest had a visitor, an Aelfen with golden hair and skin. We don't know what was said, but he left the city in a hurry not long after, and the next day the Temple of Light put a new relic on display- a coronet. The High Priest started wearing it after the Oracle vanished, and that is when the Grey Guard were first seen.”

“Who was this Aelfen?” asks the orc. The priestess shakes her head.

“We don't know exactly,” she says. “But I have reports of him wearing the robes of the Starspire. They could well have had an artefact that he passed on, or a warning; whatever the case, he knows more than we do right now, wherever he is.”

She sits back down, and Dedicate Skullseeker nods. “Does anyone else have anything to add?”

Elfpop stands up. “Just this; that we have received letters from our children, and we can tell you that the Oracle and her sister left of their own accord; that they are accompanied by companions who have chosen to protect them; and that they are on a quest the Oracle believes to be of great importance- possibly even saving-the-world type stuff.” He sits back down again, and eyes turn to your group.

“What about you?” asks the Scarlet Lady. “Did you learn anything, busting out of jail?”

You all share a look and silently agree never to speak of scary-Aradia.

“Not... much?” Aradia says. “There were a lot of Grey Guard after us, though. And there was definitely something weird about them!”

There's a sense of disappointment around the circle, and some muttering.

“So what's our next move?” asks the aasimar, leaning forward. “Clearly our city is under attack from the inside, and I ain't letting it fall!”

The merchants look rather pale at that. “What can we do?” one of them asks. “We don't even know what we're fighting!”

“If the problem’s with the Temple of Light and the Grey Guard, why don’t we just set the Temple on fire?” asks Jade. Everyone stares at her, and she shrugs. “Like forest fires! You burn the things that need to be burned _now,_ before the mess gets too big and everything goes up in the next thunderstorm!”

“We can’t burn down the _Temple of Light!”_ the other merchant protests, horrified.

“I dunno,” says the aasimar, tapping his chin thoughtfully. “Gotta be some nice looting in there.”

The orc glares at him, but the Scarlet Lady chuckles. “Certainly a novel idea,” she says. “Although probably more trouble than it’s worth. Call it plan B.”

“Call it plan Z!” says the Rogue priestess.

Aradia bounces slightly. “It sounds pretty exciting, though!”

“It’s a suboptimal tactical decision…” the masked priest of the Prince begins. You just about manage to stifle a heavy sigh. While you understand that it’s important to thrash all this out up front so nobody goes around burning down temples without there being a proper plan for it, you don’t have much to add and you’re starting to itch for a little rip-roaring action around here. Your eyes wander across to the nearest alcove-door, and your fingers tap thoughtfully at the protective amulet around your neck. Nobody’s _really_ watching you, and so long as you keep your wits about you it should be totally safe…

Still absorbed in their blather, none of them notice as you shuffle back and slip away. A hanging sheet provides you with cover as you pop over to the door, and you’re just reaching out to push it open when someone taps you on the shoulder. You jump about a foot in the air and let out the manly squeak of the incautious adventurer who understands that his situation may not yet be an utter shambles.

Sollux snickers. “Nithe mouthe imprethion, Quartthkin.”

“Oh, go boil your head,” you grumble, checking that nobody over by the conflab heard that. No heads are turning in your direction; seems you’re free and clear for the time being. “What do you want?”

“Five thouthand gold and a thcolarthip to the Arcane Univerthity,” replies Sollux, promptly. “But I’ll thettle for thomething more interethting than thitting over there, and you not dying of thtupidity.” He leans forward. “Not that I give a thit mythelf, but Aradia would be upthet.”

Your eyebrows lift at that one! “She would?”

“Don’t flatter yourthelf, she liketh a lot of weird thtuff,” Sollux says. “It’th probably your mutual interetht in thkullth, old thtuff, and hilarouthly lethal trapth. Not a lot of people like all three up clothe and perthonal.”

“Well, then, most people don’t know what they’re missing,” you say, because skulls and old stuff and traps are jolly exiting. “But if you’re joining me on this little excursion, we’d better get moving. Things to do, temples to explore!”

“I hate you,” says Sollux, as you tug the lever that swings this door open. There doesn’t appear to be any trap on the far side, but you hop over the flagstone just to be sure. The corridor remains inert to your landing.

Sollux follows you out with small, nervous steps. “Jutht tho you know, I’m only following you tho that you get eaten firtht.”

“Oh, pish-posh,” you say, digging through your satchel for a moonrod. The corridor lights up with a dim silvery glow as you break it, and you take a moment to appreciate the alchemical artistry of that evil old drow lady who kidnapped you. “There’s nothing shameful about having a spirit of adventure!” The only reply is a groan, which you take to mean that he doesn’t particularly care which way you go. Still, you’re not a complete ninny; you may not have anything to make a map with, but… “I’ll tell you what, old chap, since you’re the clever magical fellow, how about you remember all the twists and turns so we can find our way back?”

“I really, really hate you,” says Sollux, but he follows as you trot off down the corridor. “Nobody thould be thith thuithidal without actually being _thuithidal.”_

“You’re right here with me,” you point out.

“To thtop you getting hurt, dumbath!”

“Well, you could have stopped me from leaving, you know.” There’s silence behind you and you glance back over your shoulder. “What?”

“…jutht thut up and walk.”

You chuckle as you resume your trek. It’s not entirely unlike having Karkat about, and with the thought comes an odd pang of fond loss. You miss your drow buddies; they were odd fish, but despite all the sneaking and running and hiding and fighting and mortal danger, you _liked_ them. Even Gamzee, who was admittedly moderately terrifying and definitely not all there. Hard not to like someone, when they save your life by charging at terrible cloak-like Deep Cavern monsters.

Your father called his old adventuring chums his _comrades._ You’re starting to get the sense of what that word truly means.

The corridors of the temple turn out to be largely the same, no matter where you walk, although you spot some differences. Tiles that are set oddly in the floor. Indents in the walls where things might have fired. Gems set into apparently ornamental nooks that almost certainly mark your passage. It's a bloody good thing you've got an amulet to protect you, because some of them you wouldn't have seen until too late. The one thing you don't see are any doors about the place, and given the number of odd turns and dead ends you’ve found, the only logical conclusion is that you’re in some manner of maze.

“I’ve changed my mind,” says Sollux. “The converthation wath leth boring. Let’th go back.”

“No, hold your horses,” you say, because if you’re in a maze then there’s really only two places worth finding- the exit, and the centre. And to get to either one… “I’ve got an idea. Follow me.”

You press your hand against the wall and start walking. Your fingers run over rough blocks and smooth carvings and cold metal and the occasional ridge that has to be the hidden catch to a trap your amulet disables. You keep them pressed there, guiding you along through the high hallways.

“Thith ith a pretty good trick,” says Sollux, after a while. “Where did you learn it?”

“From my father’s stories,” you tell him. “They weren’t just about his adventures, he chatted to others and they told him. Why, I’m practically a repository for adventure-related shenanigans!” You hesitate for a moment, then ask; “How did you learn it?”

“I jutht figured it out,” says Sollux. “Drew thome matheth in my head and ran thome empirical trialth. There’th dethignth thith won’t work on, but thith plathe theemth like it wantth people to tholve it tho it’th probably not one of thothe.”

You think about that, then try to do it, then give up when your squinting makes your head hurt. “You really are an exceedingly bright fellow, aren’t you?”

“No thit.”

You frown. “It is rather puzzling, though. I mean, I’m hardly the brightest nugget in the cart- Mom thinks I maybe got bounced on the noggin one too many times as a nipper- but she still managed to teach me a bally sight more about alchemy than most folks know. Someone as clever as you, getting into any school ought to be a snap, I don’t see why they wouldn’t…”

“I’m a thortherer.” There’s a bite in his tone that almost- _almost-_ makes you back off.

“So?”

He snarls, teeth baring. “Tho thorthererth don’t learn magic like withardth! We’re born with it, in our blood, ath natural ath breathing. _Motht_ thorthererth don’t need to know how it workth and _motht_ thorthererth only get better by puthing themthelveth to need more, not by knowing more about how their powerth work.” There’s a dull thud and you politely ignore the fact that he just kicked a passing wall. “Think about it. A whole inthtitution full of withardth who thpent _yearth_ learning their craft, unpicking the thecretth of reality, and then a few people who can do all that without the necethary brainpower to count out copper pietheth becauthe they were _born that way.”_

You swallow. “They’re jealous?”

“Jealouth and thcornful,” says Sollux quietly. “I can’t hide what I am forever but ath thoon ath I thay I wath born with my powerth they jutht thtop lithening.”

“So why do you want to study?” you ask, turning away from him to watch your step in the shifting rod-light. “Not that I think you shouldn’t, just that if sorcerers don’t need that sort of thing-”

 _“Motht_ thorthererth,” Sollux says. “I’m… different.” When you say nothing, he sighs. “My powerth- they’re not like Aradia’s. I don’t jutht know what to do. I thee.”

“See?” You glance back at him, eyes two glowing stars in the darkness, one red and one blue. “See what?”

“Everything,” he says, then shrugs. “I don’t know. It’th like reality wath written, and I can thee the wordth, and it’th all in code but every tho often I can crack it and learn a word and then I can change it.” He sounds wistful, like he’s staring away at something that only he can see, and for the first time you wonder just what it means to have eyes that are lit by magic from within. “If I could learn more, work with proper rethearcherth, I could do anything. I could teach _anyone_ to do _anything!”_

“By cracking reality?” You frown. “Sounds tad dangerous to me.”

Sollux snorts. “More dangerouth than wandering around a trapped temple alone in the middle of the night?”

“Definitely,” you say. “Although an excellent point.” You look around and sigh. “Maybe it would be more interesting if we took off the amulets-”

“Not a chanthe in the hellth.”

You laugh, and the sound bounces back off the surrounding walls. “Fair enough!” You resume walking, but the silence weighs heavily, and after a while you feel the need to say something, to express the feeling that’s been bubbling up inside you.

“Look, old chap, I know I’m not much shakes at all this heavy thinking business, but if I ever have a grand windfall of gold or happen to save some old wizardly professor’s life or some-such, I’ll toss the fortune your way.” The awkward emptiness persists, and you add; “It, ah, does rather sound as if you’re due some.”

Another pause. “Thankth,” says Sollux. “But no thankth. I don’t want to be in debt to anyone.”

“Not a debt!” you tell him cheerily. “Just a good old chumly helping hand between pals…”

_“I thaid no!”_

Your mouth slams shut and you resolve that on this matter it shall stay that way. He’s a prickly sort of fellow, is Sollux, but you think he’s a good egg under all that and if you’re being honest, there’s something a mite off about Aradia too. A gentleman adventurer respects the secrets of his companions, your father always said, and in time the truth will out if needs be.

You nod in resolve, turn a corner, and stop dead as you step through an arch and find yourself face-to-face with the centre of the maze.

“Good golly,” you murmer, staring up at the statue that fills the centre of the chamber. Its head is so high up that in theory you shouldn’t see it at all, except that the entire ceiling is studded with dim-glowing crystals that mimic a night sky. Blank stone eyes stare down at you from the gigantic face of a leather-clad adventurer, a cutlass in each hand. Across his chest are two bandoliers, and where they cross there lies a skull symbol with two more swords crossed behind it. He’s wearing a carefree, confident grin; one foot rests on a closed chest, and around his other leg worshipful mortals cling to his boot. The floor is tiled black with white paths, one of which leads straight from the door to the altar at the foot of the statue.

“The Page of Hope,” says Sollux, but you’re caught up in that stone face as you walk slowly forwards. You’re not paying enough attention; there’s a soft click as you step on one of the white tiles, and the room suddenly brightens as green fire blossoms around you.

Sollux yells and raises his hand, but the mark between your shoulders is already sharp in your mind as a painless throb runs through it. For a moment you are air and light and boundless victory, and then the fire from the hidden flame traps billows up around you to form a glowing green archway towards the statue.

“Okay, that ith freaky,” says Sollux. He blinks, then slaps himself in the forehead. “Of courthe. You’re the Page-marked one.”

Your eyes widen as you realise what he’s implying. It had completely slipped your mind before- you're not used to even thinking of the mark as anything significant, your dwarf family never cared, you never even understood...

You think of the maze, and the traps, and the High Priestess questing in a far-off land, and take a moment to really study the vast statue ahead of you.

“You think he recognises me?”

“You think I underthtand anything about how godth think?”

You look back towards the altar, and take a few more steps. There’s a deep thrum that you can feel in your bones, like a chant just out of earshot, and you can feel the mark on your skin glowing like the one the strange, cursed second Aradia wore…

_(and you really still need to know what happened there, because that was strange)_

…and then you’re standing before the Page. He’s there, you can feel him, even if it is just a statue your eyes see.

“Good evening?” you offer. “Jolly… good to meet you?”

You blink, and in the second between your eyes closing and your eyes opening a lifetime passes in blurred confusion.

_A world of burning wasteland and black ash_

_The empty void where countless souls are screaming_

_Deathless dead walking, marching, killing_

_A star falling- no, four, five, six stars, landing scattered across the material world_

_An ever-shifting spirograph, hanging in the air_

_Another void, this one older and emptier and yet somehow familiar_

_A book hanging in space, a female voice speaking- “Magic is real”_

_A volcanic island, familiar and not, covered in greenery with monsters lurking in the shadows_

_Names that mean nothing, that mean everything- Gutsy Gumshoe, Tipsy Gnostalgic, Timaeus Testified_

_Uranian Umbra_

_Undying Umbrage_

You open your eyes and say the first word that comes into your head. “Sburb.”

“What?” asks Sollux, as the green fires die down and you are left, staggered, in the circle of light cast by the moonrod. You turn to face him, legs feeling not entirely unlike jelly.

“What in the blue blazes just happened?”

### Suggestions Used

 _J-Rook -_ Aradia's group: talk about each of your theories of d00m!Aradia (Ex: Imposter, God, Relative, Time Traveller)

 _Chippy -_ Porthaven group (as in, the group currently in Porthaven): debate the pros and cons of just razing the temples supporting the conspiracy to the ground.

 _mitzirocker -_ Jake: Think about godmark. Visit Temple of Hope.

 _nanrea -_ Jake: you know, all that talk with Karkat about what he sees in his trances kind of makes you HOPE you see stuff in your trances too! Wouldn't that be a kick! See something horrible that still comes in useful at the right moment. (I put a lot of stock in the idea that he can just HOPE events into existence, but I can't seem to help myself)

[System Notes](http://celynbrum.tumblr.com/post/75361189152/lodad-system-notes-chapter-84)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Man, this chapter kicked my ass! Barely got it done on time.
> 
> As a side note: the word count on this story, not including filler chapters and suggestions, now stands at 309, 863. That is pretty cool.
> 
> Also! Fanarts have occurred! [The Sylph Of Space as the latest addition to proserpine-in-phases' series](http://persephone-the-fish.deviantart.com/art/Sylph-of-Space-430701470), [and this lovely Rose picture by commenter doomSaucier](https://twitter.com/doomSaucier/status/429045293993050113/photo/1/large)!
> 
> I'm also not certain I ever linked y'all to [ladysekh's fanart for chapter 68](http://ladysekh.tumblr.com/post/57434304200/for-this-heinous-display-of-caring-you-are) outside of an edit in that chapter itself.
> 
> A big thanks to everyone who's ever drawn me fanart, and if you haven't noticed me shouting about it from the rooftops, prod me and point me to it! I love fanart and want to show everyone what you made for me!


	85. ==> Terezi: Keep A Cool Head

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Hero point votes:**  
>  Terezi 1  
> Jake 2
> 
>  **Current Hero Points:**  
>  John 2/5, Rose 4/5, **Dave 3/3, Jade 3/3**  
>  Karkat 3/5, **Gamzee 3/3,** Terezi 2/5  
>  **Sollux 3/3, Aradia 3/3,** Kanaya 4/5  
>  Jane 3/5, Jake 2/5, **Roxy 3/3, Dirk 3/3**

## ==> Terezi: Keep A Cool Head

“This is beetleshit!”

You make a vaguely affirmative noise and keep a closer watch on Karkat than you're pretending to. There isn't much of the confiscated chalk left, and you want to finish the masterpiece you're sketching out on the ground before the nub between your fingers wears down completely.

“I am certain that this will all be sorted out soon,” says Kanaya. She's perched on the edge of the wooden shelf that's meant to act as a bed; she can't get a better seat because Gamzee is sprawling face-down across it, occasionally twitching and tugging at the wrist that's cuffed to the wall.

You silently take a moment to approve once again of the local law enforcement and their attitude to dangerous blood-drenched addicts.

“Oh, you're certain?” Karkat's hands are bunched up in his hair, tugging at it as he spins and starts pacing back across the cell. “Well, then, I suppose there's nothing to fucking worry about, is there? It's not like we screwed up the plan, which was already so godsdamn stupid that I'm amazed people in our vicinity could still think and breathe at the same time! Oh, no wait, we did! Why the hellshitting fucklords would they come and bail our sorry asses out now?”

Kanaya's lips tightened. “Karkat, I would really recommend trying to maintain a positive attitude. This is hardly the first time I have been arrested until a situation could be properly ascertained.”

“Right, because Sollux getting drunk and blowing up someone's front door is exactly like this situation,” Karkat snaps. You see Kanaya wince, and suspect that his accusations may be surprisingly accurate.

“That does not mean...” Kanaya begins, more shakily than before.

“Oh gods, we're fucked,” says Karkat, pacing straight across one of the more important lines in your yellow mural. You frown and correct it, but it's not quite as good as the first attempt. “We're going to be beheaded in the middle of the town square for eviscerating a local dignitary. Why the shit did I go along with this plan, this plan was terrible, Past Me is a complete crotchfondling moron-”

You almost miss what happens, it's so quick; as Karkat steps past Kanaya, she stands, and with a loud crack of flesh on flesh slaps him across the face. Karkat stares at her wordlessly, and it's only because you've known her since you were both hatchlings that you can see just how much panic is lurking behind her dark eyeglasses.

There's a long, silent moment while Karkat stares at her in shock, and then Kanaya slowly sits back down. “You were alarming Gamzee,” she says.

Since Gamzee hasn't given any sign of even hearing the conversation, you doubt anyone finds her statement convincing, but Karkat looks suitably reproached.

“Sorry,” he mutters, before walking across the cell- scuffing up your mural again- and slumps to the ground with his back to the bars. You look over at Kanaya, a silent question on your face.

_Are you okay?_

She gives her head a tiny shake- more of an imperceptible twitch, really, but it's enough for you to start filling in the parts of your mural that are a little closer to where she is sitting.

“What the fuck is this meant to be anyway?” Karkat asks, peering at what you've drawn. “It looks like a cluster of centipedes failing to mate. If you keep it up they're going to charge us with black magic and nefarious summoning as well as assault and murder.”

“Some people,” you say loudly, “have no appreciation for art.”

Kanaya's chuckle is a little forced, but you'll take what you can get.

Footsteps echo down the corridor outside; you look up just as the door opens to admit the powerfully-muscled investigator who arrested you all. He’s frowning slightly, as if something bothers him; when he stops outside your cell, keys in hand, you get an inkling as to what.

“Your credentials came through,” he says, slipping the key into the lock. “You’re free to go.”

Gamzee’s head lifts up from the crook of his arms; Karkat’s face is dusty red and he’s holding his breath to avoid asking the obvious question. You’re curious yourself what the investigator means by credentials, but decide you can pursue the matter later. You stand in one smooth motion and brush yellow chalk-dust off your coat.

“Thank you,” says Kanaya as she walks past the man. He tenses slightly, hints of anger seeping through, and you are certain that this is not the first time he has had to release his suspects on account of some mysterious “credentials”. Karkat helps Gamzee up and off the bench and they limp out ahead of you. Gamzee’s head turns in your direction as they pass and your eyes lock for a moment; there’s something dark and unspoken lurking in them, and you feel a shiver run up your back.

The investigator puts an arm in front of you as you try to leave. “Is that dangerous?” he asks, nodding towards your artistic creation.

“It’s delicious,” you tell him, licking the chalk nub with obvious delight- although actually it mostly tastes dusty, and you’re not sure why you expected anything different- then dropping it into his pocket. He lets you pass with an exasperated sigh and you follow your comrades out down the square corridor to a guardroom. It’s less grand than the ones you’re used to; just a small, plain room with a rough table and three chairs, illuminated by an oily lantern in the centre. Two other guards look up as you approach, but it’s the final figure that you recognise.

“It’s about fucking time you showed up,” says Karkat. The dark man who helped recruit you for this little venture snorts.

“About fucking time,” he mimics, glaring back at Karkat with equal ferocity. “Do you have any godsdamned clue what I had to do to get your papers in order this fast? You were supposed to be quiet about it, you little shits, not stab him up in his own study along with half a dozen of his guards!”

Despite his loud protestations of anger, you detect a hint of admiration in his tone. The reproval sounds almost like admiration.

“Just get them out of my jail,” says the investigator, and the dark man gives him a downright evil look.

“Not without their equipment,” he says. “What do you think, I was born yesterday? I know how this fucking works.”

“I know you know, Douglas,” says the investigator. “My predecessor kept a list of the times you’d been in here.”

Douglas- you don’t know if that’s a first or a last name- smirks at the man. “Then you know I don’t have any patience for this bullcrap. We’re all Guild; that puts us out of your jurisdiction.” He slams his hand down on the sheaf of papers on the table. “Get their stuff or I will.”

You make note of this, and glance over at Kanaya who shakes her head imperceptibly. The investigator makes a few sharp gestures and one of his collegues stands to follow him out of the room. You assume that they will shortly be returning with your confiscated weapons and packs, and spend the next few minutes staring at the remaining guard. She seems uncomfortable with this, and shuffles away from you down the side of the table. You notice during the awkward silence that Gamzee is standing straighter now. He’s still leaning on Karkat, but you get the sense that he doesn’t exactly need to.

The investigator and his colleague return with your possessions and dump them on the table. “Now get out of my jail,” he says, as you all strap on weapons and swing on packs. There’s another delay while you and Karkat insist on checking through everything, you because you don’t trust your own divinely-inspired law enforcement colleagues let alone these backwards surface-dwellers and Karkat because he doesn’t trust anyone.

All your things are there, and you forgive the investigator for looking all the more thunder-faced as you leave. The guardroom leads onto a set of steps and another, larger room, which leads to a bustling street. You blink in the sudden sunlight and remind yourself to acquire a pair of dark eyeglasses poste haste.

The city is- strange. You didn't see it so well in the hurried dash from prison carriage to cell when you were brought here, and now that you have a clear view it's not like anywhere you've seen before. More like Golgesi than the Quartzkin clanhold- the buildings are built of stone blocks, not hewn from the rock- but even the tallest buildings in Golgesi didn't reach the height of some of the towers that you can see. All around you the roofs slope away, overlapping scales of stone vanishing into the distance in jagged hills. And then there are the colours; in the pale light and dark shadows of the Deep Caverns there is little point in colour contrasts, but here every building seems painted as bright as the flowers you've seen by the roadside. There are fewer textures, though, and those you do see are simpler; often representations of flowers, or basic geometric shapes, without the complex layers you're used to.

It's an alien place, full of alien people, and you take it all in with undisguised glee as you set out into the massed hordes of gold and silver elfkind.

“So what was all that about?” asks Kanaya, following your rescuer through the crowd. He’s squinting a little and glaring at passers-by, and you note that he hovers closer to Karkat and Gamzee than is entirely natural in the flow of the crowd. “Not that I am unappreciative of the rescue, but I’m not certain how it was achieved. I’m used to adventuring around the Stormwrack Coast, and I heard things were different north of the Dragonshards, but…”

“It’s different,” Douglas says. His eyes flick over to a large building with ornate plaster fronting. “It’s the Guilds. They go fucking nuts for them here; got a Guild for everything.” He spits into the gutter. “Pain in the goddamn ass, but it can be convenient, especially where the law’s concerned. If you’re Guild-registered then you can’t be tried in the King’s Courts, not unless you’ve committed a crime against the King. Technically we’re supposed to prosecute you through the Guild Courts, but the adventurers are used to this shit. It’s a fine and a slap on the wrist, as long as you can prove self-defence, which you can.” He fishes in a pocket and pulls out a small pouch; opening it, you see metal glittering inside.

Kanaya pulls one out and examines it; in the light, it’s a copper token. The decoration is too ornate to be a coin; one side shows a shield, and the other a sword. “I’ve seen these before,” she says. “Some of the adventurers in Porthaven had them.”

“Proof of membership,” says Douglas. “There are records, so we can prove you’re a member without it or disprove someone who shows up with one that isn’t theirs, but don’t fucking lose it or I will track you down and jam a quill up your ass so you can do the paperwork.”

You pull out one yourself, then carefully secrete it in your belt pouch. You may not approve of the local legal system- in fact, having multiple laws and courts goes against everything you believe in, and the mere thought of it makes your head ache- but all the more reason not to become befouled in it. Unless you do so on your own terms, of course; if ever there was a place in need of the Seer’s chosen, this would be it.

Karkat sees your grin and edges away. “So, are you an adventurer, then?” he asks Douglas. It’s a good question; the man’s face softens slightly, and the one side of his mouth twists up into what might be a smile.

“I was,” he said. “And I was fucking good at it, too, until I got bashed up bad and met her.” There’s a softening on the word and a gentle look in his eye that tells you exactly who he’s talking about. “Wasn’t much point keeping it up full-time after that. These days I mostly do work for the Guild, try to keep the newbies out of the shit.” He grimaces. “And my old crew, of course. Dumb fucks can’t stay out of trouble for a godsdamned week without me breathing down their necks.”

Karkat takes on a contemplative look. “You left adventuring for her?”

Douglas grumbles something vaguely affirmative, and you are treated to a positively gentle look on Karkles' face.

“So how did you meet?” he asks. “Must've been pretty fucking epic.”

“None of your godsdamn business, kid,” says Douglas. “Keep your nose out of it.”

“I was just asking!” Karkat snaps back. “Sorry for taking an interest in the tender history of your love life!”

“Trust me, kid, I ain't never been tender and I'm not planning to start.”

“So where are we going?” asks Kanaya. You shoot her a swift glare; you know she interrupted on purpose.

“Local Guild chapter,” says Douglas, and he winces. “Just keep your heads down. The bitch in charge doesn't like me anyway, and she'll fuck with you if we give her an excuse, especially with all the crap that's been going on this last week.”

You perk up again at the hint of a mystery. “This week? What happened?”

He flaps a hand. “You'll see for yourself soon enough,” he says. “Some asshole. Like I give a shit.”

You suspect that he does give a shit, but decide not to interrupt his grumbling. He seems to enjoy it.

“Is this walk all up and gonna be taking much longer?” asks Gamzee. His voice is dry and creaky from disuse, and his face is still mostly turned into Karkat's shoulder. You can just about see the glint of an eye peeking out. “Only my walking pods are getting all motherfucking tired out and shit.”

“Just over there,” says Douglas, nodding towards another grand building in the distance. It's got a coat of arms over the door, the same shield and sword that are emblazoned on your copper tokens. There's a small crowd outside, chattering excitedly to one another.

“MOVE IT!” yells Douglas, one hand resting on his sword. “ACTUAL FUCKING ADVENTURERS COMING THROUGH!”

The crowd part laggedly, barely managing to shuffle aside as your group swaggers through. You watch how Douglas and Kanaya are moving and work on replicating it, a confident stride that brooks no delay. Karkat and Gamzee do not have the knack of it. Karkat is stomping and glowering, and Gamzee wanders after him, and both of them are a little to shrunken in on themselves to fill the space that you do.

There is a small door in the larger door, and a peeping hole in that. Douglas hammers on it until it opens, and you are treated to the sight of a tiny man standing on a stool to see through the door. Your mind hastily scrambles through old lessons and comes up with a word: _halfling._

“Hey, boss,” he says, hopping down and beaming at you all. There's something childlike about his smile, utterly at odds with the businesslike bandoleer slung across his chest. “Who's this?”

“Newbies,” Douglas grunts. “Where is she?”

“Main hall,” the halfling says, and then hesitates before adding; “He's there, too.”

Douglas winces again, and your curiosity kicks up a notch. You're moving even before your guide is, overtaking him on the way through the entrance hall- which is spectacular, really, as large as any temple antechamber you've seen and with a huge window of coloured glass on the far wall casting patterns across the floor. You'll appreciate that later, but for now you reach out with both hands and push open a set of double doors. The hall beyond has five long tables stretching across the length of it, a high, vaulted ceiling, walls lined in tapestries that depict epic tales, and more of the coloured glass windows, but none of that registers as fast as the cluster of people in the centre of the room.

Standing atop the middle table is a young elf, golden-haired and silver-skinned, bare to the waist. He's holding a long, thin sword that's clearly magical, and running through a series of drills. You catch a glimpse of his face, the upper half hidden behind an ornate gold-and-silver mask studded with orange gemstones- fire opals, you think, seeing a deep green flash in one of them. Then he turns away from you and you see it, high on his right shoulder; a dark flesh-born mark, two halves of a heart, a symbol that you learned as _heresy_ and _apostasy_ and which you were cautioned against at length, because few of the Celestial Deceivers tempt the faithful of the Seer as effectively as the Prince of Heart.

“Fucking showoff,” says Douglas, coming up behind you. “One divine birthmark and everyone thinks he's the gods' gift.”

“What's his name?” you ask, watching the young man finish his drill with a flourish. The hall bursts into applause.

“Tamlin,” says Douglas, almost spitting out the word. “Chosen Prophet of the Prince, or so they say.”

You watch the young man with the sword begin to dance again, and ignore Karkat's groan from behind you. “Is that so?” you say. With a single motion you shrug off your armoured coat, and you are already tugging your collar down as you step up onto the table and stride towards him.

He sees you on the turn and stops dead, eyes widening behind the mask. You grin at him.

“Snap,” you say, and lift your hair as you turn. The mark the Seer left in your skin is pale against the black, and there is a gasp from all around. You leave it a few seconds- just long enough for it to sink in- then turn back, still grinning, and hold out your hand.

“Terezi of Golgesi,” you say. “Chosen Prophet of the Seer of Mind, and Lawkeeper-at-large.” Remembering that the surface folk have some strange ideas about your goddess, you add: “I stand for justice, and the truth that is buried.”

Slowly, but without any real hesitation, he takes your hand. “Tamlin of Kemor,” he says, shaking it. “Chosen Prophet of Heart, and master of the sword.”

“Really?” You tap your own blade. “Are you willing to show me?”

He smiles and steps back, raising his sword ready. You take that as invitation and draw your own steel.

“To first blood?” he suggests.

“To first blood,” you agree, and your swords clash across the tabletop.

### Suggestions Used:

 _1JakoftheMoon1 -_ Terezi: Keep a cool head. Hopefully your employers will be around to vouch for you.

 _ttd0000 -_ Terezi: Take the opportunity to indulge your love of drawing; don't even acknowledge your lack of talent.

 _Emiko842 -_ Kanaya: stay calm and collected, in-till you freak out.

 _Sethll7 -_ Kanaya: Realize what a horrible idea all of this truely was.

 _Kranja -_ Slick: Decide you kinda like the short angry one.

 _fruitoffire -_ Spades Slick: develop vaguely paternal affection for the small shouty kid. Wonder why he seems familiar.

 _lotosBolter -_ Karkat: 723+ years without the concept of quadrants, still be obsessed with romance.

 _J-Rook -_ Terezi: Meet false God Marked of a unaccounted for God and ask them to join (I mean at the vary least Terezi shouldn't know who the knight of time or the prince of hearts marked, so if she met a NPC who just happen to have a cog shaped birthmark before she met Dave, assumptions are bound to happen.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slightly shorter chapter this week, although longer than I thought it would be!
> 
> Just as a note: right now Gamzee, Aradia and Jake have the least number of suggestions at less than half a page apiece, with Kanaya and Jade not far behind them. Most suggestions are for Dave, Dirk and Karkat. So if you're wondering where the list might need shoring up, there's your answer!
> 
> Thanks for reading, and have a good fortnight! :)


	86. ==> Dave: Find More Feathery Assholes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Hero point votes:**  
>  Terezi 2  
> Jake 2
> 
>  **Current Hero Points:**  
>  John 1/5, Rose 3/5, Dave 1/3, **Jade 3/3**  
>  Karkat 3/5, **Gamzee 3/3,** Terezi 2/5  
>  **Sollux 3/3, Aradia 3/3,** Kanaya 4/5  
>  Jane 2/5, Jake 2/5, **Roxy 3/3, Dirk 3/3**

## ==> Dave: Find More Feathery Assholes

You did not sign up for this.

Your whole life you’ve been an entertainer, and that’s been fine with you. Roll into town, woo the crowds, maybe make off with some shit that wasn’t guarded properly, and roll out of town before the local fuzz decide to give you a free stay on the Duke slash Prince slash Supreme High Merchant’s hospitality. What more could any well brought up Phooka kid ask for?

What you’re doing now is different. There’s still travelling, but it’s considerably more life-threatening, and the stakes are bigger than your own neck. You’re trying to play it cool but there are certain influences that are determined to do the opposite.

“Are you sure she’s okay?” asks John, for the millionth time. He’s been fretting so hard you’re starting to wonder if his head is made of rock.

Rose is as frustrated as you, if the way she pinches the bridge of her nose is anything to judge by. “I have no idea if she is _okay,”_ she says, glaring over her shoulder at John. “But it is hardly unusual for my sister to wander off alone, sometimes for days at a time. I am quite convinced she does it to aggravate me.”

“But that’s in Porthaven,” says Jane. She’s almost as antsy as John about this whole thing. “She could be captured by orcs as we speak!”

You glance over at Dirk, who shrugs one-shouldered. Phooka don’t worry too much when someone goes their own way, but then Phooka have too much sense to go their own way on their own. You know he’s worrying too, but he trusts her. You aren’t worried at all.

Really. You’re not.

“If my sister wished to travel with us, she would have rejoined us after we left the orc camp,” says Rose. The words come out almost monotone, a result of how she’s had to repeat them like a stuck record for days. “It was hardly a subtle affair and she is at least moderately observant.”

“But what if she was hurt?” John says. “What if she couldn’t rejoin us?”

“Then there is nothing we could do about the situation!” Rose snaps. “Unless you think the orcs would have appreciated us pointing out that they lost a prisoner? Perhaps we should have asked to remain as their guests for a few days to see if she turned up!”

John stares moodily at his feet. “I just don’t like it, is all.”

“Neither do I,” says Rose, her composure restored. Oracle would be a sweet hand at cards, you think, might even make a Strider if you put a mask on her.

“We could always send up smoke signals,” you suggest. Three people glare at you and Dirk squints out the corner of his eye. “Or we could send this orange feathery asshole to deliver a message. It’s almost as smart as a carrier pigeon.”

Your bird stalker squawks and you give it an ironic salute. Little shit all but vanished in the orc camp, but you should have known better than to hope you lost it.

“I think we’ll keep those options in reserve,” says Dirk. You salute him too.

Jane lets out a small squeak of surprise. “Oh! Is that it?” She points and you all see the dark smudge of an entrance into the cliff overhead. The cave itself wouldn’t be remarkable, but the faded remains of carving around it are.

“It’s old,” says Dirk, bringing the caravan to a halt and patting Maplehoof’s neck. “Old as balls, I’d say.”

“Real technical there, bro,” you tell him.

“We antiquarians have our ways,” he replies, strolling towards the steps that are cut into the cliff rock. “For example, something that is as old as balls is older than your mom, but younger than shit. It’s a surprisingly precise paradigm.”

“And we are certain this is the correct location?” asks Rose. Dirk and Jane both nod.

“The directions were very clear,” Jane says, hair bobbing. She’s a good-looking girl, Jane; you’d flirt, but you aren’t sure how much you like her that way yet and John would kill you with his massive hammer if you hurt her feelings. Not that you couldn’t take John in a fight, you just…

Yeah, who the fuck are you kidding. You saw him go mano-a-mano with the biggest fucking orc in the world, dude had to be like half-ogre or some shit. You may be more badass but that does not mean you want to face John toe-to-toe in a fair fight on account of not being outright suicidal.

“Very well,” says Rose, unaware of your inner epiphany. “Let us proceed. Hopefully our target is within and we have not passed by him on the way here.”

Dirk nods, and you all set off up the steps- in single file, because there’s only space for one at a time. Your neck prickles, hyper-aware of your surroundings; you don’t know what you’re expecting, but between the mysterious golden Aelfen and the freaky-deaky orc relics, it’s nothing good. You and Dirk flank Rose as protection while John and Jane bring up the front and the rear, respectively. It makes you itch because as a formation, it doesn’t give you any room to move.

You climb for longer than you thought you would, and the cave entrance turns out to be bigger than expected, twice the height of a tall orc and wide enough for you all to swing your line around and walk in five abreast comfortably. You don’t, because you aren’t that dumb; instead you form a knot around Rose and enter cautiously, weapons ready.

“Watch for traps,” Dirk whispers, and you nod even though you have no fucking clue what a trap would look like in here. Big rolling boulders? Pits full of poisonous worms?

Sunlight streams in through the opening and illuminates walls that have been carved into an arching atrium. The columns march off into shadow, but just as you get far enough in to consider lighting torches there is a flash to the side and twin rows of glass spheres begin to glow with an unnatural green light. They’re attached to the wall like torches, but the magic inside flickers like trapped lightning. Unnerved, you keep your face still and move slowly forward to the dark archway at the far end. None of you talk; there is something about the place that makes it feel as though noise would draw unwanted attention.

The room on the other side of the dark archway lights when you and John step through it, side by side, and you realise with a jolt that the cliff must be all but hollow to accommodate this. A long, wide set of steps lead down to a round cathedral, bare apart from the dry font in the centre. You can make out shadowed galleries overhead, the ragged remains of tapestries dangling in the stone dust, chipped flakes of paint on the walls. The floor, lit in lurid green, shows a tiled mosaic of something that tugs the edges of familiarity- a circular game board, populated by trees and people and armies of strange, buglike beings.

There’s a smell like something died in here, but you don’t see anything dead; your hand rests on Caliburn as you move forwards. There are doors around the walls, small and person-sized. Rose overtakes you all on the way down the stairs and stands by the font, studying them.

“Twelve doors,” she says, as the rest of you catch up. “That has to be related to the Celestial and Infernal Gods, but I don’t recognise the symbols.”

“I do,” says Dirk. “You see them sometimes, in older places. At a guess we’re looking for the Bard, which is that one.” He points to a door with a looping squiggle over it, which means absolutely nothing to you. Sometimes you wonder where exactly your brother picked all this shit up; it’s like he’s a savant mixed with a diviner, plucking knowledge out of thin air and tucking it all away in his head for winter. Gotta be prepared for the terrible snowstorms of ignorance.

“What was that?” asks Jane, her voice high. She’s staring up at the shadowed balconies overhead and you all follow her gaze, but see nothing.

“What was what?” John asks, big-ass hammer ready.

Jane shakes her head, clearly unnerved. “I… I could have sworn I saw something.”

The little hairs on your arms all stand to attention, which is a bad sign if ever you felt one. “Okay,” you say, turning to take in as much of the hall as possible. “Much as I hate to break up the party here, this place does smell funky and I don’t trust these dark corners. These are not the sort of dark corners that hold mysterious cloaked figures with bags of gold, asking us to go on quests for them. I think we should pull back to the-”

You are cut off by a loud caw, rasping and dry, and in the galleries above the tattered curtains are blown aside. Dark blurs of wings and carrion dive out, plummeting towards you, and you barely have time to bring up your sword before a spinning maelstrom of rot and feathers engulfs Rose and Dirk.

Your brother’s katana flashes and there are bursts of colour between the rotten, swarming birds, but guessing they need some help you step up and swing Caliburn into the cloud in a spot you’re sure your friends aren’t. The blade swings through the birds, slicing them and dicing them, until they fall stationary to the ground. Beside you you catch a flash of movement and then Jane is beside you, punching out with her shield and a triumphant “ha!” The last few birds are crushed to pulp by the attack and fall to join their comrades, leaving Rose and a slightly green-looking Dirk in their wake.

There’s no time to celebrate, though, because with a terrible screech a winged shadow lands nearby and takes a snap at Jane. It skitters off her armour but you both whirl to face the new menace; your stomach churns when you see the immense black crow perched in front of you, as high as your waist and with maggoty holes where it should have had eyes.

You only get a brief glimpse of the monster before another screaming swarm of dead birds crashes down over your head. You yell and start to spin your sword again, but at your back John’s hammer is already swinging and the monsters all fall, broken.

Opposite you Rose shouts something in a language of clicks and hisses, and a dark nebula of energy builds around her hand as she slams it into the monstrous crow. You see the magic run over it and sink into its feathers and rotting skin, but the creature barely seems to notice.

“It’s undead!” Dirk yells, still clutching his stomach oddly. “Feeds on negative energy like it’s festival week at the graveyard. Use healing spells to hurt it, and watch the claws. Fucker can rake eyes out!”

Rose yells something back at him in two different languages, neither of which sound like something you’d want to hear in a dark alley. Under the bone-chilling linguistics, you think she’s irritated by something, but you don’t have time to work out what because another cloud of carrion birds is streaking down from the balconies.

John sees them when you do and hefts his hammer, but as he does there’s a moment when your stomach drops away and you feel as if you’re flying. In the darkness of the underground hall you can see a pale blue aura burn around him for a moment, and then the descending undead swarm is slammed away by a wall of wind so strong that it almost seems solid. Your hair flies out of your face as you stare at it, the dark shadow of the swarm reforming behind the raging gale.

“AWESOME!” yells John, over the din. You give him a solemn bro-nod then charge the monster crow, yelling a wordless battlecry as you leap towards it. The air fills with the smell of heat and metal and for an instant time slows; you twitch Caliburn to the left and your blow lands, shaving off putrid flesh along with mangy feathers.

You’re feeling pretty proud of that, but then Jane gives you a nod and attacks, and you decide right there and then that John is not the Warden sibling you are most likely to lose to in a fight. Her trident lashes out and leaves deep, leaking gashes in the crow but it’s the other strike, following impossibly fast on its heels, that leaves you gaping. Jane’s shield smashes into the undead bird’s face, crushing half of it to mush and splinters, and it lets out a pained croak before launching a counterattack. Jane dives around the flying claws and feathers and lets out a hiss as its beak finds a mark, but moments later Rose’s hand presses into her back and a golden aura of light closes the wound.

Dirk shouts two words that make zero fucking sense to you, and between one blink and the next goes from standing behind you on the right to in front of you on the left. There’s a trail of magical afterimages fading in the air, a rainbow spectrum of Dirks that pass the Murdercrow with a slashing katana in a spot that just happens to match a new gouge in its tatty feathered flesh.

You duck aside when John gambols past you in a haze of wind and shade, his ludicrous hammer pulverising the bird’s wing in a single strike. You’re about to comment on how skilfully he wields the large weapon, by which you totally mean his penis, when the third swarm of rotten shadow-birds finds its way over the top of the wind wall and hurtles towards him.

John spins on the spot, swings his hammer, and _liquefies them._

“You keep doing that and I’ll get jealous!” you yell to him, swinging at the lurching undead crow and silently cursing when you miss. “I’m supposed to have the unbelievably badass weapon around here!”

John grins in reply. Beside you, Jane punches the Murdercrow with her shield again and it finally, finally, falls over and lies still.

Mostly still.

Uh…

“That can’t be good,” says Jane, eyes widening as the flesh and feathers of the un-undead monstrosity ripple. She raises her shield just as the shifting boils explode into a screaming, feathered mass of equally undead but more normal-sized crows.

“Definitely not good,” you agree as they take to the air. “If we were looking for good on a map, I’m thinking this would be in the other hemisphere.”

A hum of golden light from behind you tells you that Rose agrees enough to heal herself, whether she can understand you or not.

Dirk starts slapping his scabbard rhythmically. “Well, we thought that we’d won, but the battle’s not done; time to get real, deal some death and destruction…”

His voice echoes up through the cavernous space, and it’s like the gods themselves are sitting in as your audience. You give your sword a lazy swing; time to put on a show. Beside you John steps back so that he can get a good swing with his hammer, battering at the swarming crows.

You were half-expecting the whole vile cloud to go tumbling again, but you aren’t too surprised when it doesn’t. The others were more tattered than this, made up of things that were more the suggestion of birds than birds themselves. The creatures in front of you look a shit-ton more sturdy. Your suspicions are confirmed a moment later when you slash your sword through the cawing, croaking mass. You hit things, you know you do, but even as their wings and heads tumble to the ground the creatures stay in the air, swarming around one another like a cloud of mosquitoes.

Jane snorts and makes another jab-swing attack; her trident rips through the swarm and it veers away from her, leaving her shield to punch thin air. Then it spins around and dives forward; you swing Caliburn through it then throw your arms up in front of your eyes just in the nick of time. A maelstrom of bitter claws shrieks around you and your stomach turns, feeling the shredding pain of cold beaks and foul talons ripping into your skin and tangling in your hair. You thrash, trying to keep them off you, and nearly throw off the hand that rests on your back. Energy that warms and cools at the same time pours over you, and you can feel the seeping cuts in your skin closing up.

“Can’t cheat the grave if you’ve no life to save- stop! Drop! It’s nothing but **rot!”**

On the last word Dirk’s voice seems to fracture like crystal, and you feel the swarm shift around you as fast, sharp shards shoot through the mass.

“Watch it!” yelps Jane, as John’s hammer swings in close to the two of you and clears more space to breathe. “We’re in here!”

“Speak for yourself,” you say, stepping back blind and opening your eyes when you don’t hear wings beating in your ears. The swarm looks thinned out, but you reach out to the hot ticking time spinning inside you and slam a few more of the creatures into dust. Jane pops out a moment later, looking scratched up but basically okay. Her trident swings through the cloud without connecting, but her shield knocks a few more of them down, and you start to see the light at the end of the shitstorm.

The swarm screeches and swoops forwards, engulfing Jane and Rose, and you discover just how terrifying it is to lose sight of your friends. There are some yells and then Rose stumbles back out of the massed birds, staring at her hands.

There are claws poking out of her fingers. Long, black ones.

She recovers in time to thrust a hand back into the crow swarm- for a moment you wonder if she’s trying to impale them on her new finger furniture- and light shimmers as she heals Jane. She pulls the arm back out and raises it, staring at the claws. You stare as well, because since when does Rose have claws and where can you get some? Or does that make you a wannabe lycanthrope or some shit like that?

Dirk stops his battle chant and takes a deep breath.

“Your shit,” he tells the ragged remains of the swarm, **“IS WRECKED.”**

The last two words blast out of him and slam into the remaining undead crows, shattering them and throwing them out of the air into the pillars and the wall. With a snort your brother sheathes his sword and strolls over to the rest of you.

“Nice claws,” he says to Rose. She glowers at him and says something incomprehensible back.

“Is she okay?” asks John. “That’s not the first stage of turning into an undead crow, is it?”

You all share worried glances. Rose sighs, rolls her eyes, and shakes her hands; the claws slide back in with a _snkt_ that makes you think of wrist sheathes.

“I am quite alright, thank you,” she says in her normal tones.

“Oh, yeah, everything’s fine,” you say, prodding at the dead heaps of crowflesh with your toe in case they’re about to burst back into unlife. “Clearly you have just reached that long-awaited stage in the normal aasimar life cycle when you unexpectedly grow claws. Nice to see you’ve caught up with the rest of us, not that it’s your fault you’re a late bloomer…”

“There’s no need to be ridiculous about it,” says Rose, firmly. “I will have to do some research, but I am fairly confident that this is simply another manifestation of my oracular abilities.”

Jane frowns. “The Seer of Light wants you to grow claws?”

Rose flushes slightly. “There are, ah, aspects of the Seer that are… not suitable for public opinion?” She taps a finger lightly on her lip and you watch it, unable to shake the idea that a claw is about to sprout and pierce her nose. “She is a Goddess of darkness as much as she is light, and when I am pressed those less hospitable aspects are brought to the fore.”

Dirk nods. “That explains the Abyssal,” he says. You all turn to stare at him, and he shrugs. “Don’t have to speak it to recognise the sound,” he says. “Glad to know it’s a perfectly normal Seer-sourced highway to the realms of empty madness. I was starting to worry that you were possessed.”

Rose raises an eyebrow. “By which you mean, of course, that you were already looking for a way to drive the unnatural spirits out of me and will keep doing so, as I could be lying about the nature of the Seer?”

“Sure am,” says Dirk. The rest of you gape; he ignores you all to look at the re-dead birds that litter the ground. “Although speaking of unnatural spirits, this is not a natural environment for undead monster crows.”

You refuse to look at your brother. “Bro, I am not sure anywhere is a natural environment for undead monster crows. They are by definition not natural. Their native habitat is absolutely fucking nowhere.”

“True,” says Dirk. “But they’re far more likely to be found around carrion, particularly undead carrion. There’s not been anything living or dead down here for decades, probably longer, which does raise the question of where the fuck they found undead flesh to chow down on.”

“…I hate that this is a conversation we are having.”

“I take your point, though,” says Rose. “Something must have coerced them to be here, most likely a necromancer.” Her eyes narrow. “I would dearly love to find this golden elf and ask him some questions.”

“You think it’s him?” asks John.

“He does seem the most likely candidate,” says Jane, before Rose can reply. “He’s preceding us, undead keep attacking us- there’s something jolly fishy about the whole business!”

“See, now I’m thinking about undead fish,” you say. “Zombie trout, flapping up the corridor towards us. Skeletal haddock. Shit, everyone watch out, it’s the Lich Leeches.”

John laughs and Jane at least cracks a smile. Rose gives you a nod, then turns to the passage that Dirk pointed out before shit started getting real.

“Shall we?” she says, striding towards it. There’s a slight flurry as all four of you try to overtake her at once; claws or not, she’s the most fragile of the group.

You end up taking point, and as you lead your group in single file down the long, sloped passage, you can’t help but notice that there’s something amiss about the place.

“Someone’s been down here,” you say, looking at the pit in the floor in front of you. There are spikes at the bottom, and it would be a deadly dangerous trap if it hadn’t been sprung. You saw the damn thing coming a mile away.

There’s a pause. “Keep going,” says Rose, and you know that you aren’t the only one gripping the hilt of their weapon.

The passageway leads down deeper into the ground for another few hundred yards before you step out of a low, carven doorway into a new chamber. It’s smaller than the one you’ve come from, hexagonal and lit by a purple crystal in the ceiling that is no less eerie than the green lights you saw before. The walls were once painted, but all you can see now are hints of scenes that make you glad you can’t see more.

In the centre of the room is an altar, carved with grooves that run off to channels in the floor. Sitting on top of it is a full-face mask of pale wood. It’s mostly plain, just two eye-slits, two nose-holes and a slim mouth-line, but something about it unsettles you. Maybe it's the three deep gouges that run across it, like claw-marks.

“Um, Rose?” says John, as she walks up to the altar. “I don’t think you should touch that.”

“I am quite certain it will be fine, so long as I don’t put it on,” says Rose, and picks up the mask.

You know she was wrong the moment she does so; the corners of the room seem to darken, and you grip Caliburn tightly as seething susserations start to seep from the walls. From behind you see a shadowy aura crawl across Rose’s skin; her hair bleaches from gold to white, her skin from warm peach to cold grey. Black flames burn around her as she turns back, staring at you all with obsidian eyes.

“Rose?” says John, eyes wide.

She opens her mouth and words come out; they sound like the same creepy language that she speaks under stress, but this time the voice isn’t hers. It’s a layered echo calling up from the bottom of a pit, and it scares the shit out of you.

“It’s okay, Rose,” says John, creeping towards her and holding out his hand. “We’ll figure this out, but maybe you should, um, put the weird mask down first?”

His hand brushes her sleeve and she hisses; her hand moves in a flash and John is thrown back, yelling in pain at the lines of blood on his hand. Jane and Dirk leap forward to catch him and you stand there like a useless golem as they save your best bud from a painful introduction to the ground.

“Well, that's not good,” you say, reaching for your sword and wondering what you think you're going to do with it. It's not like you can just stab Rose, even if she is possessed.

“No, it's not,” says John, except his voice is even more strangled than you would have expected, and when he raises his hand...

Oh, _shit._

The grey is running across his skin like liquid, and Jane and Dirk are already staggering away from him and staring at their own hands in- well, Jane in horror. Your bro is as stoic as ever. You draw Caliburn and take a couple of steps back, panic rising as the colour leeches out of John's face and his eyes turn blank and glassy.

“So, uh, I'm guessing we're not on for just forgetting the whole thing, right?”

Dirk turns slowly, lurching around to face you. The grey is halfway up his neck and rising, and his hands are pulling his katana from its sheath.

“Run,” he tells you, right before the grey slides over his mouth. You don't wait to be told twice; you don't see any options here that end without you possessed or your friends dead. Strategic retreat is the best plan and you're not running away, damn it, because Striders don't do that shit.

You can hear something that sounds like chanting coming from behind you, and laughter echoes along the narrow corridor. It sounds like Jane's voice but it isn't Jane, and you put on an extra turn of speed when you hear footsteps following after you. You almost stumble on the rocks a few times but you're the archon of grace and poise, you just leap on over those fuckers and keep on going out into the main chamber. Your feet pound past the rotting crow-corpse on the floor and up the steps that lead out, carrying you back up and towards the daylight. You practically skid out onto the cliff-face, and slump against the entrance with a wary eye back on the interior. You don’t think that the weird, possessed versions of your friends and brother are going to come out here to get you, but you do not want to bet your soul on it.

“Okay,” you say, in between hard breaths that are totally just because you were running and not because of any sort of abject panic on your part. “This has gotta be reversible, right? I just need to figure out how to break that mask…” Your voice trails off as you think. “Shit, maybe I should go back and ask the orcs for help.”

“Well, that’s pathetic.”

You jolt away from the wall, bringing Caliburn up and whirling in search of whoever spoke. Your surroundings remain conspicuously empty.

“You know, back in the day, I used to be wielded by proper heroes, not little babies who piss their pants at the first sign of abyssal possession. If you had any kind of balls you’d be heading back in there to free your companions, not contemplating running off crying _help! Help!”_

Slowly, you bring up the sword, staring at it as the sun glints off the blade. Caliburn doesn’t look any different than it usually does, but you can’t shake the feeling that it’s glaring at you.

“What you lookin’ at?” asks the disembodied voice of your sword.

All things considered, you don’t think you can be blamed for screaming like a girl and dropping it off the cliff.

### Suggestions Used

 _Dingus -_ Undead: Drop from the sky 

_1JakoftheMoon1 -_ Undead: Zerg rush.

 _1JakoftheMoon1 -_ Jane: Express hatred for the undead the only way that makes sense: stabby stabby stab stab.

 _randomunintelligiblewords -_ Jane: Show off that ability to wreck stuff. Or enemies. Yeah, utterly annihilate your enemies.

 _Amyda -_ John: you can dance if you want to (figure out how your godmark works and help the kobolds)

 _Asuka Kureru –_ John: DO THE WINDY THING.

 _Dingus -_ John: use the Breath, redefine "wind tunnels"

 _J-Rook –_ rose: grow claws and attack, prove to be a distraction as yourself and or one or more of your allies spend time staring at your hands instead of defending themselves.

 _Arienna -_ Dirk: Kill an enemy with your voice.

 _Spider16 -_ The Mask of Madness: make an awesome appearance at some point in the main story.

 _randomunintelligiblewords -_ Rose: Go grimdark and leave devastation in your wake. Horrify your friends.

 _ttd0000 -_ Grimdarkness: When someone comes in contact with Rose in an attempt to calm her down, turn out to be infectious. Welp.

 _Chaosisorder -_ Dirk or Dave: catch the grimdark trying to help rose. going grimtime and grimsoul is never a good thing.

 _Ephemeral_Dreamer -_ Caliburn: Instruct Dave on the proper behaviour of heroes. Why back in it's days!

 _Ms Arano -_ Dave: Freak out when you realize it's your sword that's been talking.

[System Notes](http://celynbrum.tumblr.com/post/78316994656/lodad-system-notes-chapter-86)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was kind of a slog to write. :/ Hope it turned out okay!


	87. -- LETTERS HOME --

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Hero point votes:**  
>  Terezi 2  
> Jake 2  
> Dave 1  
> A DRAW HAS OCCURRED! D20 Roll - Odds for Jake, Evens for Terezi  
> ROLL OF 2 - TEREZI GAINS ONE HERO POINT!  
> Voting now open for the next Hero Point award: one person will get one after three chapters. 
> 
> **Current Hero Points:**  
>  John 1/5, Rose 3/5, Dave 1/3, **Jade 3/3**  
>  Karkat 3/5, **Gamzee 3/3,** Terezi 3/5  
>  Sollux 3/3, **Aradia 3/3,** Kanaya 4/5  
>  Jane 2/5, Jake 2/5, **Roxy 3/3, Dirk 3/3**

[ ](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/h8xyord7bd51x7q/03A%20LODAD%20Letters.png?dl=0)

HAIL AND GREETINGS TO LADY SELES OF GOLGESI, MISTRESS OF THE GREAT HOUSE OF KUTSANMIS, MISTRESS OF THE DEEPWARDS GATE, TREASURER OF THE CONCLAVE OF MATRIARCHS, BLAH BLAH BLAH WHO EVEN GIVES A FUCK ON WITH THE MESSAGE ALREADY.

hEy mOm

i aInT WrItInG To bE AlL Up aNd gEtTiNg My mOtHeRfUcKiN AsKiNg aS In tHe hOpE WhAt yOu wIlL Be fOrGiViNg oR UnDeRsTaNdInG Or aNy oF WhAt tHaT ShIt iS AlL Up aNd tO BeInG. I KnOw tHaT YoU AiNt iN AnY KiNd oF WaNtInG ThIs mOtHeRfUcKeR BaCk uNlEsS ThErEs aLl uP AnD BeInG AlL KiNdS Of mOtHeRfUcKiN ChAiNs aNd gRiEf iNvOlVeD BuT ThErEs jUsT SoMe tHiNgS I GoT AlL Up iN Me aS WhAt nEeDs sAyIn tO YoU AnD I GoTtA Be lIsTeNiNg aLl uP To mY HeArT EvEn wHeN ItS LiKe tO RiPpInG ThAt mOtHeRfUcKeR OuT YoU KnOw?

tHeReS AlL SoRtS Of RiGhTeOuS TrUtHs i gOt tO Be lAYiNg dOwN On yOu bUt tHe fIrSt iS ThIs. yOu aInT My mOtHeRfUcKiNg mOtHer. i aInT DeNyInG I GoT YoUr bLoOd aNd yOuR MaGiC In mE BuT IvE AlL GoNe aNd mEt mOtHeRs aNd yOu aInT NeVeR DoNe bY Me aS WhAt tHeY DoNe bY ThEiR KiDs. i uSeD To bE AlL sPiNnInG My hEaD ThE EvErY WhIcH WaY On tHiNkIn i dOnE SoMe wRoNg wHaT MaDe yOu bE CoLd tO ThIs mOtHeRfUcKeR BuT It wErEnT EvEr oN Me. i aLl uP AnD SeE ThAt nOw cLeAr lIkE MoThErFuCkInG CrYsTaL.

SeCoNd tRuTh iS ThIs. i aInT NeVeR DoInG A ThInG YoU WaNt oF Me nEvEr aGaIn. tHiS MoThErFuCkEr iS AlL To dEcLaRiNg hIs iNtEnT As wHaT He wOuLd rAtHeR LiVe aNd mOtHeRfUcKiNg dIe fReE In a gUtTeR ThAn tAkE A FaTe wHaT YoU OfFeReD HiM. YoU SeNd sOmE MoThErFuCkInG PaWn aLl uP AfTeR Me tO Be dRaGgInG BaCk mY CaRcAsS AnD I WiLl bE MaKiNg oF ThEm a MOTHERFUCKING CORPSE. Is tHaT On tO BeInG ThE CLEAR MOTHERFUCKIN POINT fOr yOu?

tHiRd tRuTh iS ThIs. i aInT AlOnE. I GoT ThE BrOtHeR WhAt i mOtHeRfUcKiNg gOt mY EsCaPe oN WiTh aNd mOrE BeSiDeS, AnD EvEn wItHoUt aLl tHeM MoThErFuCkErS I GoT Me oNe mOrE AcQuAiNtAnCe aS YoU ShOuLd bE MoThErFuCkInG FeArInG. ThE BaRd oF RaGe dOnT LiKe yOu nOnE mother dear AnD He aLl hAs a tAsTe aS To eXpReSs hIs dIsPlEaSuRe uP In bLoOd.

gOt mE A ThOuSaNd aNd oNe mOrE ThInGs iM ThInKiNg aS I WaNt tO PuT To yOu bUt aInT MoSt oF ThEm aS WoUlD Go oN PaPeR So hErE Is bEiNg tHe sTrAiGhT MoThErFuCkInG HeArT AnD TrUtH Of iT.

i aint your creature no more

AND GOOD MOTHERFUCKING RIDDANCE

yOuRs mOtHeRfUcKinG NeVeR

GaMzEe tHe oUtCaSt

PS: JUST SO YOU KNOW, CRACKED AS HIS THINKING CAN BE, HE’S NOT SHITTING YOU ABOUT ANY OF IT AND ESPECIALLY NOT ABOUT THE FRIENDS.

I SHOULD PROBABLY THANK YOU FOR FUCKING UP HIS LIFE TO THE POINT WHERE HE WOULD WILLINGLY ASSOCIATE WITH A SHANTY BRAT, SINCE OTHERWISE I WOULD BE DOWN A BROTHER AND PROBABLY STILL STUCK IN GOLGESI. TO BE HONEST, THOUGH, MY LOATHING FOR YOU MANAGES TO EXCEED THE BOTTOMLESS CHASM OF MAGMA-HOT BILE THAT I HAVE RESERVED FOR THE REST OF YOUR HYPOCRITICAL SHIT-SUCKING NOBLE CASTE, SO FUCK YOU WITH A DISEASED DRIDER LEG.

STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM US.

KARKAT MARAHSON

[ ](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/f91tqlo1ry1eat4/03B%20LODAD%20Letters.png?dl=0)

Hail and greetings to Lady Esin of Golgesi, Mistress of the House of Yetenekli, Guardian of the Warding Tower, Sculptor of the Mutable Flame and Member of the Conclave of Matriarchs.

Dearest Cousin,

It is with sorrow and regret that I enclose a copy of a missive I received from my son, your wayward groom. Even as I apologise for his words and actions, I hope that you can forgive my House the insult he offers to you and remain amenable to an alternative arrangement of allegiance. It grieves me deeply to break my word to you thus, and I can do little more than offer my assurances that my very finest operative is charged with his retrieval. If you could indicate whether your preference is for his hand or his head, I would gladly instruct my agent in your wishes.

In recompense for this broken engagement, please accept the gifts I send with this correspondence. They are but small tokens of my remorse; I can assure you that if you wish to reform the marriage alliance, I have many nephews who could make a suitable match, and the dowry will be ten times that promised you before.

Your friend,

Lady Seles of Golgesi, Mistress of the Great House of Kutsanmis.

[ ](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/b5ephv5z8t5ma2q/03C%20LODAD%20Letters.png?dl=0)

Hail and Greetings to Lady Seles of Golgesi, Mistress of the Great House of Kutsanmis, Mistress of the Deepwards Gate, Treasurer of the Conclave of Matriarchs, Daughter of the Deep Matrons and Warden of the Obsidian Keys.

Dear Sister,

I hope that you may forgive my presumption in addressing you as such; it seems to me that were it not for these unhappy events you and I would be kin, and my heart desires that we approach our dealings as if it were so.

Your gifts are generous and well-received, and I thank you for the gesture even as I assure you that it was unnecessary. Even the briefest examination of the missive your son sent shows that you cannot be reasonably held to blame for his actions- why, from the way he styles himself alone it is plain that he is utterly intractable to any reason. Only the throes of boyish emotion could move him to reject your fine name for the shameful title of “Outcast”, and the wilful passions of men are beyond the comprehension or command of even Matriarchs.

You may tell your agent to dispose of your son howsoever seems best to them. While I would be quite glad to have my intended groom returned to me and the original contract restored the increase in dowry you offer would prove the salve to my loss, and my experiments in alchemical compliance can be as easily tested on slaves as on an obstinate husband.

I do, however, have one unusual request: if the life of your son’s companion can be spared, I would ask for it to be given over to me. I understand that this may be much to ask, given that this Karkat is most likely the instigator and architect of your son’s unfortunate rebellion, but for that alone I would argue that he has done more harm to myself and my House than to you and Yours. Besides, though I paid him little heed at the time (assuming the boy to be a ruffian of some looks but no consequence), seeing the name of “Marahson” I am reminded of some history that hovers just out of recall. It is his eyes, I think: my memory serves me that I once met a girl named Marah with such red eyes some twenty or thirty years previous, and that she was no beggar nor thief but a woman of standing. Alas I cannot recall more, for age and time fog my vision, but I suspect some scandal of the past may well be bound to our present.

Of course I understand that it may be impossible to take your son without slaying the creature who is most like to be his lover, and would naturally value the life of a scion of Kutsanmis over the base blood of the Shanties. This request is born only of my curiosity, which as an alchemist is formidable and often bears unexpected fruit.

I thank you again for your kind gifts and kinder words.

Yours in kinship,

Lady Esin of Golgesi, Mistress of the House of Yetenekli.

[ ](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/aii7cuixj5ebmi9/03D%20LODAD%20Letters.png?dl=0)

Hail and greetings to Lady Esin of Golgesi, Mistress of the House of Yetenekli, Guardian of the Warding Tower, Sculptor of the Mutable Flame and Member of the Conclave of Matriarchs.

Dear Sister,

It is with joy I accept the title you have granted me, and with relief that I read you have so graciously accepted my apologies. Your requests regarding my son and his companion have been forwarded to my agent, who acknowledges their receipt and swears to me that he shall abide by them if at all practicable.

Sadly I cannot say I share your recollection of this red-eyed Marah, but I do not doubt your word. You say you knew her twenty to thirty years ago; if you will recall, it is now twenty-three years since all Golgesi was thrown into upheaval akin to our current troubles by the actions of a band of sunwalker adventurers, led by the vile tiefling Wordweaver. If it is a scandal you seek I should think it is either connected to those events or else utterly overshadowed by them.

Should you have any friends within House Simyager I advise you put your questions to them, for it was they who bore the dreadful brunt of that incursion- if you remember, our defences were quite terribly weakened for some time by the loss of that year’s Drider clutch.

I celebrate our new allegiance, and anticipate the resolution of our common problems.

Your faithful sister,

Lady Seles of Golgesi, Mistress of the Great House of Kutsanmis.

[ ](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/5qpnu7xcovek2wl/03E%20LODAD%20Letters.png?dl=0)

To Gamzee the Outcast, Karkat Marahson, the Sunwalker and most especially their friend who is no longer Lawkeeper;

I think these missives may be of interest to you. Should we meet again, I hope you will remember me, and all friends of the Bard.

A friend.

PS: Have you found Alekor yet? I am curious as to the fate of the amulet you took from me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The real question here is why I ever took this story in a direction other than constant writing of Drow matriarchs.
> 
> Font credits!  
> Karkat = [FuckYou](http://www.dafont.com/fuckyou.font)  
> Gamzee = [Rabbit Moon](http://www.dafont.com/rabbitmoon.font)  
> Kutsanmis Matriarch = [Signarita Zhai Rhianne](http://www.dafont.com/signarita-zhai.font)  
> Yetenekli Matriarch = [Jellyka Saint-Andrews Queen](http://www.dafont.com/jellyka-saint-andrews-queen.font)  
> Mysterious Friend = [Queen of Today](http://www.dafont.com/queen-of-today.font)


	88. ==> Sollux: Go On A Mission

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Hero point votes:**  
>  Dave 3  
> John 1
> 
>  **Current Hero Points:**  
>  John 1/5, Rose 3/5, Dave 1/3, **Jade 3/3**  
>  Karkat 3/5, **Gamzee 3/3,** Terezi 3/5  
>  Sollux 2/3, **Aradia 3/3,** Kanaya 4/5  
>  Jane 2/5, Jake 2/5, **Roxy 3/3, Dirk 3/3**

## ==> Sollux: Go On A Mission

It occurs to you that if you didn't hate being bored, you wouldn't be here.

There's not much to do in an indoor refugee camp. You tried to keep yourself occupied with whatever books could be begged, borrowed or smuggled in, but after someone lent you a brain-bendingly awful treatise on the nature of arcane magic you laughed for thirty minutes straight then dumped it in the fire where it belonged. Nobody was willing to lend you anything after that.

You'll admit you complained at first, when Aradia suggested that you all sign up for the Resistance and Jade and Jake agreed with her. You're not generally a big fan of fighting without being paid. But after a few days of being stuck with the morons hiding in the Temple of Hope you changed your mind. You're not sure how they can even function with the sheer levels of stupid some of them display. Then again, you're not exactly all that functional yourself. Sometimes you wonder if maybe the secret to happiness is to be an idiot. It's a depressing thought, but one that is supported by the fact that you feel better when you go on missions. Risking your life for no pay, and you feel on top of the world when you do it.

Eh, what the fuck ever. You always knew you were batshit.

There's a patrol in the street, walking down towards your position. You duck back into the alley and wait until they've passed. Regular City Watch, not the Grey Guard; you never see the Grey Guard before sunset or after sunrise. There are plenty of people coming up with paranoid theories about that. You've been enthusiastically spreading a few rumours of your own for shits and giggles; your favourite was the assertation that they are all goblins, in pairs, one standing on the other's shoulders. The fact that some of your fellow undesirables now believe that is further evidence that people are really fucking dumb.

"Right," whispers Jade, her eyes glittering in the dark of the alley. "Is everyone ready?"

"Tip-top and ready to go," Jake whispers back. You and Aradia both nod, but you aren't sure she’s telling the truth. There's something off about her, and there has been for a few days. She looks drawn, haggard, ill. She won't admit it though, and you don’t know how to make her own up which means no-one does.

"Right, then!" says Jade. "Remember, everyone stick to the plan this time. No wandering off!"

The last part is said with a sharp glare at you and Jake. You can't help snickering. As unnerving as your first expedition through the bowels of the Temple was- and it was very, very unnerving indeed- it had been worth it for the panic that you managed to cause. The two of you made a silent pact not to mention what happened- some things are just too fucking weird to think about- so everyone just assumed you were wandering about getting into trouble. And ever since- well, Jake always was distractable as all hells, and you never saw the point in sticking to a plan when a better idea came up.

"It's not funny!" she says, which only makes you snicker more. "It's not... quit it, asshole! I'm not asking for anything difficult. Bec knows how to stay when I ask him to and he's a wolf!"

"Right, becauthe comparing me to your lupine hellbeatht ith going to perthuade me to do anything," you point out, between giggles. Jade turns puce.

"You are such an assbutt!"

"Relax, old girl," says Jake, patting her shoulder and looking torn between laughter and guilt. "We'll be good, won't we Sol? A right reliable pair."

"Don't call me Thol," you say. It's the only reply you're willing to give on the matter, and you know Jade knows it because she sniffs.

"Ugh, fine," she says. "So. Remember, this is supposed to be a stealth mission- we get in, find the records, and get out before anyone knows we were there."

You can count the number of stealth missions that stayed that way on one hand and have fingers left, but you nod along with the others. The three of you check the street again and, seeing only the regular pedestrian foot-traffic, set out for the large building across the street. Only six months ago, it was the headquarters of the Watch in the Temple Quarter. Now it's the home base of the Grey Guard, and nobody has passed those walls in daylight for weeks.

There are a few curious glances in your direction, but nobody seems inclined to be seen paying attention to anyone approaching the tall, stone-walled building. You duck into another alley and loiter by the wall, keeping an eye on the road for approaching danger while the others cluster around the postern gate with the skeleton key the Scarlet Lady presented to your group last night. You don’t know where she got it, but you suspect that her circle of contacts are the sort of people who value their anonymity.

With one hand, you idly fiddle with the broken amulet around your neck. You know that something about Sir Cosbie's presence in it makes it magical, but you don't know what effect it has on you beyond a few dreams, all of which remind you of your oath. Those could just be anxiety, but you doubt it. You've never been a solid sleeper, not with the unnatural hybrid of tiefling sleep and elven trance, and your dreams are never as vivid or as clear as the ones where you relive your promise.

Of course, it’s also hard to forget that you’re wearing half of a legendary ancient artefact around your neck. You’ve only come across a few references to the Labyrinth Maker, buried in tomes that talk of ancient magics, but under the chill magic of the ghost you sometimes imagine that you can feel that dormant power around your neck.

“Sollux!” hisses Jade. You snap out of your reverie- shit, you were supposed to be keeping lookout, good thing nobody came along- and follow your comrades through the small gate into a small kitchen garden. Leafy herbs and vegetables grow in plots marked by short hedges; you’re no expert, but everything looks too wild and overgrown to be properly tended. Bec sniffs at something and lets out a lupine sneeze.

“Where do you think they get their food from?” asks Aradia, frowning at the plants. “They aren’t getting deliveries any more, are they?”

“I don’t know,” says Jade, looking around the garden. “Maybe they don’t eat.”

Despite the warm sunshine, a shiver runs through all of you. You think of the vanishing prisoners, and mentally amend Jade’s statement to: maybe they don’t eat food.

Wait, what the fuck, you’re starting to sound like one of those gullible idiots in the Temple of Hope. You groan and slap yourself in the head, in the hopes that you’ll shake something loose.

Aradia blinks at you. “Are you alright?” she asks quietly, dropping back to walk beside you while the other two forge on ahead.

“Yeah, fine,” you say. “Jutht dithguthted by my own gullibility.” You frown as you look at her. There are dark circles under her eyes, and she’s shaking. You don’t think it’s fear- Aradia has always been the most fearless person you know. “Are you alright?”

She gives you a lopsided smile. “Never better!”

“Liar,” you say, flatly. Ahead Jade and Jake are fiddling with the skeleton key in what has to be the kitchen door. “You look like thit.”

Aradia shoves you in the shoulder, but it’s weak and from the way she frowns you can tell she knows it. “Alright,” she says, with a sigh. “I guess I do feel a bit ill. But it’s nothing major! I’ll get over it in a few days.”

“Uh-huh,” you say, eyes on the two elves. “You good to go now?”

“Yes,” says Aradia. You shoot her a sceptical look and she plants her hands on her hips. “Sollux, you know I wouldn’t come along if it was putting any of you in danger!”

“It’th not uth I’m worried about,” you say. Aradia smiles and leans over onto you, wrapping an arm around your waist. She says nothing.

Up ahead the kitchen door creaks open and you walk towards it as a unit. You sling your arm around Aradia to help hold her up- not that you’re doing much good, you’re built like a beanpole and even sick like this she weighs more than you do on a good day. Still, you seem to be helping somewhat until you get to the doorway and have to split apart to make it through.

Inside the kitchen is dark, still, and cold. The fireplace is full of grey ash, and a bowl of moulding fruit lies forgotten in the middle of the table.

Jake clears his throat. “I don’t know about you folks,” he says, voice a hushed whisper. “But I would definitely call this gods-damned creepy.”

“Theconded,” you say, before anyone else can. “Not to mention thirded, fourthed and fifthed.”

“Records office is north of here,” whispers Jade, over the low rumbling growl of her wolf. You all slip past the table and its furry cargo and up the steps into a corridor that is just as dark and ominous. Sunlight streams in through narrow slits in the stone, casting lines of golden light across the floor. Sound is swallowed by the walls. All you can hear are the footsteps and breathing of the four of you- five, including Bec.

Jade leads the way unerringly, a combination of druid magic and hours spent poring over a map that a former Watchman drew for you last night. Your nerves are as tight as a bowstring; every time you turn a corner you expect to run into someone, but the building might as well be deserted. Eventually you come unmolested to a heavy wooden door.

“Jake, keep watch,” Jade whispers. Her brother nods and stands to attention, looking down the corridor and looking disturbingly like the statue in the Temple. The door falls to the skeleton key and you slip in after Jade and Aradia to find yourself confronted by a room full of scrolls.

“Okay, that’th cool,” you mutter, looking at the racks that stretch up to the ceiling of the large office. There’s a heavy wooden desk and chair in the centre, and a small wheeled ladder for reaching the higher cubby-holes, but aside from that the only thing in the office are the records. You briefly wonder if you might have died and gone to a heaven, then discount the idea as ridiculous. There’s no god that would have you, except perhaps the Mage whose mark you bear, and from what you know that guy is too much of a dick to help you out.

“Go play,” says Aradia, and with a cackle you get to work. There’s a heavy tome on the desk that you correctly guess to be an indexing system. It’s written in code, but you crack that in about five seconds flat- row and column number for the cubbies, and an iterative number to indicate whether something was thrown out. More annoying is the fact that it’s arranged in chronological order. You spend close to twenty minutes searching the dense thicket of names, and the whole time you can sense Aradia and Jade pacing around the room.

“Will you cut that out?” you snap, not even glancing up from the book. Both women freeze in place, but you hardly notice. You have a list of names to look for, people who’ve gone missing, and you haven’t seen one of them yet. Maybe they’re not in the book; your heart sinks as you flip through the pages. Of course they wouldn’t put the vanished in the records, this is stupid, you’re risking your necks and wasting your time for nothing…

There! Buried in the middle of a page of names is one of the ones you’re looking for. You whoop and raise your hand, and the scroll for one Tynian Vale flies from the top row to your hand in a flicker of light.

“Showoff,” says Aradia. You stick your tongue out at her as you unfurl the parchment. Jade and Aradia crowd over your shoulders to read the document. Despite yourself you’re curious, but the information in front of you turns out to be less than helpful.

“Sent to Tor Eliannan,” reads Jade, frowning. “Where’s that?”

Aradia shakes her head. “I don’t know. I’ve never heard of it!”

“It mutht be a prithon or thomething,” you say, but you can’t escape a nagging sensation that you have heard the name before. “I’ll check the indecth, see if there’th any more information.”

“Check for more names,” says Aradia, climbing the ladder and sliding Tynian Vale’s record back into place. “We should make sure everyone went to the same place.”

You’re already flicking through the tome, scanning the pages for the other names on your list. It’s not long before you start finding more, and every single scroll you take down says the same thing. _Sent to Tor Eliannan._

“None of them say anything useful!” Jade is scowling as she shoves them back into their cubbies. “Isn’t there a map or anything?”

“If there ith, it’th not in here,” you tell her. “Maybe thomeone back at HQ will know?”

“Wait, I think I’ve got something,” says Aradia. You both turn to look as she pulls a scroll out from the rack behind you and unrolls it. “I noticed that none of the names were stored on this wall- it’s administrative records, look.”

“Tho?”

“So, this is a prisoner transfer order from last week. And look where to!” Aradia beams triumphantly as you and Jade lean in to read the parchment.

“By thip?” you say, poring over the evidence.

“And it’s a ten-day round trip, which means within five days sail of Porthaven,” says Jade. “This is great! We can definitely find them with this!” She grabs the parchment off the desk and rolls it up. You close the tome with a dusty _thud,_ and the three of you head out the door. You pause on the threshold; with a wave of your fingers, the scrolls dance off the shelves and switch places. You watch with a smirk as they settle, perfectly scrambled.

“You didn’t,” says Aradia, but you can hear her trying not to laugh.

“They’d know we were here anyway,” you say. “Thtealing the manifetht ith totally thtealthy.”

“Master criminals,” she agrees, and the two of you head out into the corridor to find an irritated Jade and absolutely no sign of Jake.

“”I can’t _believe_ this!” she says, huffing the words quietly to avoid drawing unwanted attention. “I told him to stay put, the assbutt! Now we have to find him in enemy territory! Ooh, I’m going to give him such a thump!”

Amused by the sight of an infuriated Jade, you show as many teeth as possible in a wide grin. Bec comes to sniff at you and you turn away from the wolf, only to find yourself looking down a squat, windowless corridor. There are unlit torches in the wall brackets, and your superior night vision only shows you the first sixty feet in. To a certain type of mind, you think, the darkness might be exciting to explore.

“…and _anyone_ could have just walked in on us…”

Ignoring Jade, you slip off down the side corridor, moving cautiously in case someone other than Quartzkin walks into your line of view. Instead you find yourself approaching a dim silvery glow at the far end; Jake is standing by a narrow door and staring at it, hand wrapped around an activated moonrod.

“Jake,” you say, and when that garners no response you touch his shoulder. He jumps nearly a foot in the air.

“Sollux, old boy,” he says, face paler than usual and voice shaking slightly. “Didn’t notice you coming up behind me, there.”

“What the fuck are you doing, thitmunch?” you ask him. He nods towards the narrow door.

“Spot of exploring,” he says. “Found this thing and couldn’t quite tear myself away.”

You look at the door and are immediately struck by his meaning. It’s a perfectly ordinary looking door, aged oak planks with metal hinges and bindings, and a lock that you could shove a finger into if you felt like losing some skin. The only thing remotely unusual about it is the sense of chill menace pouring through it; you can almost see it billowing out around the cracks, like toxic black smoke. You know, in a bone-deep way that cannot be argued with, that something truly evil lies beyond that door.

“Creepy,” you say.

“Rather, isn’t it,” agrees Jake. The two of you contemplate the door a little longer, until something swats you both repeatedly on the head.

“I can’t believe you two!” Jade looks furious as she thwacks you with the rolled-up evidence. “Can’t you stay put for five…” _–whap-_ “fucking…” _–whap-_ “minutes!” _–whap-_

“Oi!” Jake covers his head and ducks back. “Steady on, old girl, no need for fisticuffs, we were just exploring…”

“I’ll explore you!” Jade bops him again, completely oblivious to the fact that Aradia is almost falling over with silent laughter. You’d be joining her, except the door is still creeping you the fuck out.

“Do you treat Bec thith way?” you ask. The wolf whines and cocks an ear, and Jade leaves off her papery assault to glare at you.

“No, I don’t! Because he’s smart enough not to do something so dumb!”

Aradia is laughing so hard that she’s crying actual, red-tinted tears. You cast another uneasy glance at the door.

“JD…” you begin, before you are interrupted by the loud metallic clanging of a warning bell from directly overhead. The four of you freeze.

“RUN!” yells Aradia. Her hand grabs your arm and yanks you off down the corridor at a flat-out pelt. Bec overtakes you and you can hear Jade and Jake on your heels, and you hate this shit _so fucking much_ but when Aradia looks back over her shoulder she’s grinning and for reasons that don’t make sense even to you, you grin back.

The bell keeps up its clamour, screaming alarm, and the four of you race back the way you came with an ear out for the sound of pursuit. You think you hear the creak of a door behind you and put on an extra burst of speed, catching up with the wolf on the way through the kitchen and bursting out into the garden ahead of everyone else.

Ahead of you, standing just in front of the closing postern gate, are half a dozen armoured members of the City Watch. You skid to a halt as the nearest raises a crossbow to cover your group.

“Halt!” he shouts. “You’re all under arrest! Drop your weapons and…”

He doesn’t get any further. Aradia steps past you, arms raising and eyes glowing with magic, and in a panic he looses the bolt. It scrapes her arm and she staggers back, but not before a low, thrumming song fills the air and a dim red mist rises around the guards. The man who shot her and the guy next to him crumple to the ground and land in snoring, leather-clad heaps.

You snicker. _Aasimar._

One of the other Watchmen shakes the sleep spell out of his eyes and fires his own crossbow. His aim is truer and you growl when Aradia stumbles, a bolt sprouting from her shoulder and deep red blood soaking through her tunic.

“INTRUDERS AT THE POSTERN GATE!” he yells. “INTRUDERS BY THE KITCHENS!”

Behind you Jade shouts something in a language you don’t know, and you feel a rush of old, wild power run through the earth beneath your feet. The hedges that line the path rustle in the wind, except there isn’t any wind. The guards realise too late as the greenery lunges towards them, wrapping dozens of thin twigs around their limbs and dragging them to the sides of the path.

Jade takes off at a run, Bec on her heels. One of the guards pulls free of the malevolent hedgerow and swings at her with a blunt, rounded stick. Jade takes the hit and keeps moving, and a moment later Bec tears a bloody chunk out of the man’s thigh on the way past.

Aradia is still slumped against you and you’re keen to get some vengeance, but you’re capable of some tactics. You raise your hand and shout the words that you know on instinct, changing the way the universe is written around you until fire and lightning jump from your palm to the one free guard. He screams and the smell of burning flesh fills the garden; Jake takes advantage of the distraction to run past the staggered, retreating guard and out through the gate onto the street.

The two guards who are still trapped by the hedges struggle against them, snapping twigs and getting their limbs free. Aradia shifts her weight onto you and raises her uninjured arm; the arcane lullaby spreads again, and the Tiefling half of you feels the weight of it even as another of the Watchmen slumps to the floor in sleep. One of the others takes a swing at Bec as he runs past, but the wolf follows his mistress out of the postern gate, leaving you and Aradia alone against the last two guards.

Given that you would have done the same in their position, you don’t think it’s fair to curse your companions for abandoning you. You do it anyway, and tense up ready to act. However strong-willed they are, the Watch are under attack by greenery and can’t hold out against Aradia’s spell forever. The first chance you get, you’re running together.

The plants entangle the two conscious guards again, but they’re weak and spindly and the men break free easily. One of them drops almost straight afterwards to Aradia’s spell- you can hear her whispering in your ear, fluid murmurs that sound like dreamscapes- and the two of you make a break for it.

The one Watchman still standing swings at you both as you pass and strikes Aradia. You turn as she stumbles and the world twists on your tongue, eyes flaring blue and red to blast him with the elements. He falls back into the hedges and they envelop him lovingly in their thick stems, tying him down as the two of you run for the road.

Jade and Jake are waiting for you at the mouth of the alleyway.

“I’m really sorry…” Jade begins. You streak past her, Aradia’s arm still slung around your shoulder.

“Leth talking, more running!” you yell. Jake falls into step beside you and grabs Aradia’s other arm, helping you speed her along. People scatter in front of you as you break out onto the street, and behind you you can hear a shrill whistle over the still-clanging bell.

“JD! The manifetht!” you yell.

“Got it!” Jade yells back. You’re about to suggest splitting up- if they chase her, Aradia is safer- when out of the corner of your eye you see a flash of brilliant green light. For a moment it’s like the world drops away from you and you’re hanging suspended in a dark, formless void, and then Jade streaks past you twice as fast as you’ve ever seen her run, surrounded by a faint nimbus of shadow and green light.

You stumble as she vanishes into the crowd ahead, blinded by a growing vision of a green sun and filled with a sudden, burning pain inside your skull. You slip out from under Aradia’s arm and someone knocks into you, knocks you away. The mark on your right foot starts to burn and you fall to the ground, then scramble back upright and run blind. You can’t 2ee anythiing but darkne22 and green fiire and a face liike a 2cowliing 2kull, and your thiinkpan feel2 liike iit2 2pliittiing down the miiddle.

2tumbliing backward2 you 2tare up at the 2ky and 2ee fiire falliing, 2hootiing 2tar2 heavy wiith death and de2tiiny that can’t be e2caped. The future biifurcate2, red and blue, death and liife, the undead and the dyiing.

you cant 2ave anyone

their doom ii2 already written

World2 burn and effect precede2 cau2e and fate make2 mote2 iinto god2. The truth ii2 etched acro22 the uniiver2e, woven iinto the world, iimplacable and unavoiidable.

In the last instant, before the spiralling visions completely eclipse your mind, you see the Words that make it so.

### Suggestions Used

 _J-Rook -_ Jade: beat Jake and Sollux repeatedly over the head with a roll of paper for wondering off, tell them to SIT and STAY, and tell them "no she isn't treating them like dogs, she never has to treat dogs this way, DOGS ARE SMART ENOUGH NOT TO DO SOMETHING SO DUMB!"

 _1JakoftheMoon1 -_ Jade: Use druid-ness attribute to go all ninja on soldiers. Take them down.

 _Ms Arano -_ Sollux: begin receiving the, ahem, "gift" of prophecy

[System Notes](http://celynbrum.tumblr.com/post/81201014832/lodad-system-notes-chapter-88)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Today I have mostly been hitting my friends with foam latex weaponry and seeing Captain America. Some Minecraft may also have been involved.
> 
> I cannot believe I got this chapter written and up on time this week. :O


	89. ==> Kanaya: Become Excessively Frustrated

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Hero point votes:**  
>  Dave 5  
> John 1 
> 
> **Current Hero Points:**  
>  John 1/5, Rose 3/5, Dave 1/3, **Jade 3/3**  
>  Karkat 3/5, **Gamzee 3/3,** Terezi 3/5  
>  Sollux 2/3, **Aradia 3/3,** Kanaya 4/5  
>  Jane 2/5, Jake 2/5, **Roxy 3/3, Dirk 3/3**

## ==> Kanaya: Become Excessively Frustrated

You find Karkat in a dingy bar, surrounded by drunken and morally suspect revellers. He's sitting with Douglas, and you suspect that the cloud of dour misery around them might be the only one remaining in the entire city. Being less familiar with the customs of the Duchies north of the Dragonshards, you had not realised that your arrival coincided with the start of a festival season in the city of Alftor.

What the purpose of the celebrations is, you are uncertain; you are used to such affairs having religious roots, but even allowing for the more fragmentary worship here there is no discernible hand of the divine behind the merriment. At any rate, the streets are lined with bunting, and in the past week it has become all but impossible to walk anywhere without being beset by young, masked Aelfen who press flowers into your hands and kisses to your cheek. The air is thick with the smell of spices and scented smoke, and the gutters are full of drunkards.

The whole affair is making you distinctly uncomfortable, but at least you have made the effort to appreciate the bemusing celebration. You wish Karkat would at least try to get into the spirit of things.

People part before you, correctly guessing where you are headed. Karkat sees your approach and groans, slamming his head down into the bar.

“No,” he says. “I'm not doing it. I don't care if every orphanage in the duchy spontaneously explodes or the God of bowel movements evacuates his explosive diarrhoea over a collection of wizards with poor impulse control; I want no part in whatever hare-brained mockery of entertainment you have stumbled across and decided to inflict on me.”

You had absolutely no intention of doing anything of the sort, but the exasperation in his voice rouses your curiosity. “Is what you are doing here that much better?”

“We're fine,” growls Douglas. A nearby hand reaches towards his money-pouch, sitting on the bar between him and Karkat, and the old adventurer slams a knife into the wood fast enough to narrowly avoid severing fingers. Karkat snorts.

“Have you seen Terezi?” you ask, eyeing the bleeding would-be-thief as he whimpers and ducks away.

“Do you think I'd still be here if I had?” says Karkat. He scowls. “Last I heard, she was doing a tour of her adoring public with Tamlin.”

You wince slightly. Terezi is lucky that the people of the Duchies are more impressed by gods in general than by any deity in particular; if she had shown off her mark like that along the Stormwrack Coast, you would all have been leaving town in a hurry. On your advice Karkat and Gamzee agreed to keep a lower profile, and seeing the way people trail after Terezi and Tamlin you have not had cause to regret it.

Thinking of Gamzee, you look around the bar. “Where is...”

“Heya, sis,” says a familiar voice in undercommon. A bony arm drapes around your shoulder, and a masked face hoves into sight over your shoulder in a blast of alcohol. You wrinkle your nose as Gamzee kisses your cheek; the mask does nothing to obscure his identity, not with the drow-black skin and the shock of white hair above it.

From the deep, heartfelt groan Karkat gives, you suspect that he has been like this for a while.

“How much have you drunk?” you ask him, twisting out from under his arm. He almost falls over, but catches himself on the bar just in time. You notice that his mask is slightly askew, and his clothes looked rumpled. He's not wearing any armour.

“I ain't even all up and knowing that none,” he says, still grinning. He slumps back, trying to look like he's casually leaning against the bar. You can tell he's propping himself up on it. “I been all having some wicked festive fun with my new motherfucking friends, is where I'm at.” He waves towards a dark corner, and you see a few people wave back. All of them look at least as drunk as he is, and there is altogether too much skin visible.

Your eyebrows slide into a frown. “I thought you were trying to shake your addictions, not gather more.”

“I brought this up,” says Karkat, into his own arm.

Gamzee chuckles and ruffles his hair. “Aw, ain't nothin', bro. It's all up and to being a motherfucking party is what.” He grins back at the corner full of his so-called 'friends', eyes half-lidded. “Ain't gonna be no kind of a habit.”

“It had better not be,” you say frostily. “Because if you get in trouble as a result of being intoxicated, you certainly shouldn't expect my assistance in getting out of it again.”

Karkat and Douglas both give you sharp looks, but Gamzee just nods and runs a finger along your collar.

“Sure thing, sister,” he says. “Sure you ain't up for joining a motherfucker in getting his celebrate on?”

“Quite certain,” you say, gripping the finger and removing it from your person. From the way he chuckles and ambles back off, you don't think he was at all upset by the rejection.

“Sorry,” says Karkat, once he's out of earshot. “I'll talk to him later, try to hammer some fucking sense into him.”

Douglas snorts. “Don't know why you'd bother,” he says, swigging his drink. “He's dragging you down, kid. Some people wouldn't know or care about sense if it strolled into their house wearing high heels and a fur stole.”

There is a brief but uncomfortable silence between the three of you.

“So what do you actually want?” asks Karkat, eventually, his eyes shifting between you and Douglas and the far corner. “Not that I don't appreciate seeing someone else moderately sane, but I'd sort of like to get back to quietly hating everyone and everything.”

You doubt Karkat has ever done anything quietly. “I was actually looking for Terezi,” you tell him. “You were easier to track down than she was.”

“Seriously?” Karkat sighs. “Of fucking course.”

“She's some dame, alright,” says Douglas. He tips his glass to you. “Not that she's the only one to come outta the Deep Caverns.”

In your present mood, you find the flattery more aggravating than anything else. “So, neither of you have seen her, then?”

“No,” says Karkat. He looks slightly embarrassed. “I think I heard Tamlin say something about sparring, though.”

You sigh, slamming a hand into your own face. “I see. Thank you, Karkat. I can find her from here.” As you leave the bar, you hear the slick thud of metal in flesh, and a would-be thief screams.

Outside it’s sunny but the streets are dim, the light blocked by the buildings that lean out over the cobblestones until their roofs almost touch. Even the lack of painful glare can’t raise your mood, however, and and you stride through the crowds of colourful revellers with the same grim determination that you would employ marching into a pay negotiation. A number of them take note of you as you pass. This isn’t Porthaven, or any of the other cosmopolitan cities of the Stormwrack coast. Aside from the odd aasimar or tiefling, everyone here is Aelfen or Tuatha, and you stand out in the crowd.

Fortunately, the combination of your fierce demeanour and the ill reputation of your homeland deter any would-be cutpurses. You make good time on your way to the Market Circle, helped along by the current in the river of people. As you draw nearer, you find your way blocked by a solid wall of flesh, but that problem you find is quickly solved by the judicious application of elbows, which gains you access through one of the tall archways that lead into the Circle.

Despite the different architectural needs of surface dwellers, the Alftor Market reminds you more of its equivalents in Golgesi than in Porthaven. Rather than a large, open plaza you find yourself faced with a construction akin to an amphitheatre, rising in concentric tiers that support the brightly-coloured stalls and pedestrian walkways. Different arcs of the circle are marked off for different products- here the produce market, there the cloth and thread, and there the tinkers and potters- but for the festival all barriers are down and every tier and arc of the Circle is filled with hawkers selling flowers and masks and banners and cooked food.

In the centre of the Market Circle, a tier down from the walkway where pedestrians enter, is a paved space around a wooden platform. As you understand it, it is a popular location for speeches, entertainments and executions, and sometimes all three at once. Currently it is playing host to a pair of familiar faces, who have drawn quite the crowd along the lower tiers.

“Is that the best you can manage?” taunts Terezi, dancing away from the tip of Tamlin’s blade. Your eye twitches slightly; they’re not even using blunted weapons, the idiots.

“It would hardly be a show if I beat you too fast!” calls Tamlin in reply, lunging forward with his thin blade. Terezi knocks it aside with her sword-cane and laughs.

 _“Your sword I’ll break and your blood I’ll spill,”_ she sings in Undercommon, dancing away from his next swipe and up onto a stack of crates beside the podium. _“And toss you down for the drakes to kill!”_

Most of the crowd can’t understand a word of the battle-song, but the sound of your native tongue has enough of an effect. Your heart flutters as you hear the jeers mixed with the cheering; Terezi makes a popular villain, but she casts herself as the villain nonetheless and you are well aware that few of the Aelfen watching will be able to tell you apart.

The battle is over in a few more swipes; as expected, Tamlin fights Terezi to a standstill and it ends with his sword at her throat. He is exceptional with the blade, but the manner in which he wields it unnerves you. You have sparred with him yourself, at the Guild, and you are certain that he has studied the forms and style of the drow for the express purpose of defeating them.

“Terezi!” you shout, now that a lapse in concentration is no longer a risk to your friend’s life. She turns and grins upon seeing you, scooting over to the edge of the stage and crouching down.

“Kanaya!” she says, tilting her head. “Have you come to assist me against this nefarious ne’er-do-well?”

“I have _come_ to ask you if you will return to the Guild with me and discuss our future employment options,” you say, a little snippily. “But now I find myself compelled to inquire as to what, precisely, you think you are achieving with this display.”

Terezi shrugs. “It’s fun,” she says. “And look at my hordes of adoring fans!” She sweeps her arms out, taking in the crowd.

“In case you had failed to notice, there is something particularly strange going on, and we are at the heart of the matter.” You tap the clothes over the mark of the Sylph, knowing that she will understand your meaning.

Her face becomes serious. “I know,” she says. “But there’s more than one way to investigate a mystery.”

You frown. “Terezi, are you and Tamlin playing _bait?_ What are you hoping to draw out?”

Her smirk returns. “If I tell you, will you let us get on with our performance?”

You pinch the bridge of your nose. You think you might have a headache coming on. “No. I do not want to know anything until you are willing to take the time to discuss it like a reasonable person!”

“Suit yourself.” Terezi jumps up and paces along the stage. “So! Does anyone else dare to challenge the Chosen?”

With a heavy sigh you turn to leave, pushing against the flow of the crowd. Forcing your way back out of the Market Circle is markedly more difficult than forcing your way in was. Briefly you wish that you were still travelling with Sollux and Aradia, then you remind yourself that were that the case you would almost certainly be negotiating compensation with some irate business owner by now. As aggravating as your present companions are, they at least have some understanding of when to stop. Mostly.

Your temper worsens when you consider the damage Gamzee could cause. Unlike Sollux, he cannot summon the primal forces of magic at a whim, but from what you have seen that doesn’t lessen his talent for carnage. And of course, where you trust Sollux as a friend and comrade, your relationship with Gamzee is untested and fraught with concerns.

 _Be honest,_ you think to yourself as you push away an overly-amorous young Aelfen. _You don’t like him, and if it weren’t for Karkat you would not associate with Gamzee at all._

Unfortunately, you are as drawn to Karkat as you are repulsed by Gamzee, and for equally mysterious reasons. Something in your gut simply tells you that the former is well-meaning, if belligerent, and that the latter would smile sweetly as he stuck a knife between your ribs. You like to consider yourself a rational person, but similar impressions struck you when you first met Sollux, Aradia and the Oracle of Light. That each of those persons was Godmarked as you are, and that those impressions in turn were shown to be justified, gives you more than enough concern to be cautious.

The crowd outside the Guild building is smaller than the one in the Market Circle, but it is by no means insignificant. You shoulder your way through it under a dark cloud of irritation and flash your membership token at the door with a glare that keeps the small doorman quiet at your passage. Inside, the halls are quiet and cool; there is no sign of any other inhabitants about the place, and you are privately glad that none of them are here to witness you acting out your irritation.

You went out armed and armoured, and so you have no need to stop and change before heading out to the training field at the back of the building. It’s an open stretch of grass bounded by low hedges, a barrier to block wandering spectators but not their view. A row of battered training dummies stand at one end; you draw your sabre as you enter and break into a run, advancing on them as if they were a line of orcish bandits.

With a shout you leap through the air and bring the weapon down. The superior dwarvish craftsmanship bites into wood and sacking, ripping the dummy open and spilling dried, dead grain out onto the grass. Since it is already ruined, you continue thrashing the hapless object, shredding it into a pile of splinters and thread. The pole it sits on cracks and with another yell you begin assaulting the hedge behind it. The green twigs will blunt your blade, but there is something inherently satisfying about seeing the green, leafy debris fly up into the air.

Hearing footsteps behind you, you whirl and bring the sabre up only to have it blocked on the flat face by an open palm.

“Trust me, kid,” says the tiefling behind you. “You don’t wanna spar with me.”

You suddenly see just how patently ridiculous you must look, and fall back panting for breath. “Do excuse me,” you say, tucking your hair back behind your ears. “You startled me.”

“The hedge startle you, too?” he asks, lips quirking in a minute smirk that vanishes so fast you wonder if you imagined it. He’s curious-looking for an adventurer, wearing well-tailored clothes and no armour with only a dagger on his belt, but his shoulders under the black cape are muscular and he’s clearly comfortable within reach of your weapon. It’s possible he’s an unusually strong and foolhardy mage, but you think of the speed with which he parried your sabre and you suspect not.

“I have been having a somewhat stressful day,” you admit, flushing slightly. He smirks, and pulls a small box out of the folds of his tunic.

“Snuff?” he asks. You shake your head, and he sniffs a pinch himself, tucking the box away.

“You know, I find there are few problems in life that can’t be solved by finding something worth my time to focus on,” he says. “Something more challenging than a shrubbery.”

You frown. “Yes, well, as my companions are all busy at present, I hardly have many options.”

“More than you think,” says the man. He pulls a folded piece of parchment out and passes it to you. “Boss-lady gave me this mission as a solo, but I got business in town. Shouldn’t be a problem for a professional; you get out of dodge for a few, and I get her upstairs off my back.”

Rather reluctantly, you take the parchment.

“I’m not sure,” you say, opening it nonetheless. “I have generally held to the idiom that one should not split the party, as a rule, and we do have some important business to attend to…”

“Not while everyone’s partying, you don’t,” he points out. “And you’re not splitting the party, you’re temporarily joining another one that needs the extra support. See here?” He points to a line about halfway down the page and you squint to make out the bad handwriting.

“Ah, yes,” you say. Despite yourself, you’re seriously considering it. It seems a group of your fellow Guild Adventurers have got themselves into something of a pickle while searching for the source of a mysterious rash of cattle deaths in a nearby village, and have sent a request for backup. The job seems straightforward, fairly paid, and most importantly out of Alftor. You still hesitate, the urge not to abandon your friends tugging on you.

“I can find someone else if you don’t want to,” says the tiefling, although he looks slightly disgruntled. “You know, if you want to stick around and get drunk with the rest of the idiots…”

A mental image of Gamzee springs to mind, and you shudder.

“No, I’ll do it,” you say, pocketing the missive. “Thank you for your suggestion, Mister…?”

“Adamas,” he says, holding his hand out. You shake it. “If you give me a message for your crew, I’ll tell them where you’ve gone.”

“I’ll prepare one at once,” you say, feeling brighter now that you have a goal in mind. One unconnected to your wider mission, perhaps, but something to do nonetheless. “Thank you again. If you will excuse me, I need to go and ready my things.”

“Of course,” he says, stepping aside to let you pass. As you stride off back towards the Guild building, you wonder if perhaps on your return he would be amenable to a tour of the city’s tailors and fashion houses. As much as you love your companions, their lack of sartorial taste is deeply frustrating.

It really was a _very_ fine outfit he was wearing.

### Suggestions Used

 _Troodon -_ Jack and Karkat: strike up a strange (ie. stab-happy) friendship. Disconcert everyone with how similar you are.

 _Evi -_ Kanaya: Have Horrible Experiences With Drunks Before And Be Angry With Someone For Drinking.

 _1JakoftheMoon1 -_ Terezi: Sing a song as you spar.

 _1JakoftheMoon1 -_ Someone that is not Sollux, Gamzee or Karkat(These guys freak out/complain enough as it is): Fuck these sidequests and subplots, there's an adventure going on here dammit!

 _randomunintelligiblewords -_ Kanaya: Chainsword shrubbery into submission.

 _J-Rook -_ Diamond Droog:== > use diplomacy to get out of doing any real adventuring work for the boss lady yourself. hand off a plot hook full of trouble to an unsuspecting chump.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In Which Kanaya Makes Unwise Decisions Because She Was In A Bad Mood And Someone Was Well Dressed.
> 
> Happy 4/13, everyone! (Crazy-ass way to write dates, why you put month before day, it make no sense, days are smaller than months are smaller than years _this always confuses me_ but I guess since there is no 13th month this will have to suffice).


	90. ==> Roxy: Return

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Hero point votes:**  
>  Dave 5  
> John 1
> 
>  **Current Hero Points:**  
>  John 1/5, Rose 3/5, Dave 1/3, **Jade 3/3**  
>  Karkat 3/5, **Gamzee 3/3,** Terezi 3/5  
>  Sollux 2/3, **Aradia 3/3,** Kanaya 4/5  
>  Jane 2/5, Jake 2/5, **Roxy 3/3, Dirk 3/3**

## ==> Roxy: Return

You are the best at sneaking, it is you.

The orcs never noticed you slip your bonds and tippity-toe away while they were all watching John go mano-a-mano with their boss orc. You did hang around to make sure all your friends would be okay- and holy WOWSER, John is hotter than you thought- but as soon as you saw they were all in one piece you scampered off just as fast as your legs would take you with nary a look back.

It's not that you don't trust the creepy violent orcs, it's just that, well, you don't trust them.

That said, when you sneak back in after dark, it's the drow that you hone in on. He was weird and out-of-place and there's a tingly feeling in your nose that tells you he's important. You're an expert in listening to various tingly feelings, and you know better than to ignore them when they're prodding you to action.

It's not that hard to spy on the drow, as it turns out. The orcs don't seem to like him much and stick him on the outskirts of their camp. You wait until he falls asleep- rather grumpily and super close to dawn, yawn, why can't everyone be diurnal- then sneak up and riffle through his stuff looking for Clues. You're not really sure what sort of Clues you're looking for, but Janey told you about investigation work and if your bestie thinks they're important then you're going to find some, dammit!

What you actually find, apart from some funky-looking money and weird-looking clothes, are a bunch of papers written in a funny-looking square alphabet, some gross-smelling food, some wooden tokens that you regretfully put back and...

… ooh, _hello._

You pull out a gleaming golden whistle in the shape of a dragon, two little rubies glinting in its eyes. Turning it over in your hands, you see an inscription in Draconic along the side. The translation to common would be _“Speaker”_ or _“Caller”_ or, possibly, _“Invitation”._ You've always been super pants at divination, but you would bet your favourite kitty-cat that were you able to cast detect magic on this thing it would glow like a lighthouse.

A brief glance over at the sleeping drow tells you that he's still not awake. For a moment you hesitate, torn; you avoided taking the tokens because you don't want him to know you riffled through his stuff, but this whistle is so _awesome._ The only way it could be cooler would be if it was wizard-shaped, and then it would be the _awesomest._ You're slipping it into your pocket before you even really think about what you've done.

Your mission to gather clues being done, you settle his pack back where you found it and slip out of the orc camp, heading in the same direction that your friends headed. If you know your sister then she's probably in loads of trouble already and you've got no intention of leaving them all to struggle out of it alone.

Perhaps you should be afraid, travelling across the open and wild plains by night and alone, but you find the walk peaceful. What have you got to be scared of, anyway? You have powerful majjiks on your side, and not a bad turn of speed when you run for it. Anything that comes near you can be seen for miles, and your ears are listening out for anything you can't see. Besides all that, you just find the night relaxing. Regulus is almost full overhead and you salute her wide green face, remembering what Jane and Dirk have told you. Lunar Lords still seem hella distant and fantastical, but you can shoot sparks out of your nose and also you're on a quest to save the world so you guess you shouldn't judge. And you hear the lady likes cats.

The light of that green moon is all you have to see with by the time you're approaching the looming silhouette of the cliffs. They're a dark blot against the stars and the sight of them sends a shiver through you, anticipation of the unknown curling in your belly. You speed up, then come to a halt as you hear voices carried to you on the wind.

“I can't believe you framed the fucking bird.”

“I can't believe you fell for it. How many times have you been hit on the head? Have you considered wearing a helmet?”

The first voice sounds like Dave, you think, but you can't place the second. It's not female, so you can rule out Rose and Jane, but it doesn't sound like John either. The closest match is Dirk, but it's still not right. There's a ringing quality to it that doesn't sound entirely natural.

“Yeah, because that's the first thing people suspect when they hear mysterious voices. Excuse me there, your grace, but I keep hearing a mysterious voice insult you and I was wondering if it might possibly be your sword. Oh, no, councillor, that's just my talking asscushion, no need to worry there.”

 _Wait, what?_ You creep closer, taking care not to be seen, and there's no denying it. Dave is sat alone at the foot of a narrow path up the cliff, his sword lying across his lap. Here, in the pitch dark, you can see a faint reddish gleam to the blade that isn't bright enough to be a true light.

“It's not my fault you lack imagination,” says the second voice, and there is nowhere for it to come from. Nowhere at all. You even peer into the shadows super carefully just to make certain there's no-one lurking in them and get nada.

For a moment you wonder if you should drink less, and then you remember that you aren't really drinking at all any more. You take out your hip flask and sniff at the contents, making sure that you haven't been the victim of a prank. Nope, just plain ol' alcohol in there, and you're as sober as a Seerite. Soberer, even.

You grin. If you'd known the world was this interesting when you didn't drink, you'd have quit years ago!

“Look, not to break up this flow we've got going on here, because I feel really close to you and everything, but unless my memory is ass-backwards you hinted that you knew something about what happened in there,” says Dave. “Spill already.”

 _What happened?_ You pause, chewing on your lip. Damn it, you knew you shouldn't leave them alone! They've got in all kinds of trouble without you to help them. You don't know what kind, but you bet it's bad, or Dave wouldn't be out here alone looking all dejected and mopey with his mysterious talking voice that is probably the equally mysterious magic sword.

Man, you are so good at deducing things without a brain full of booze. You could be an investigator, or an archaeologist or something. You are distracted for a moment imagining your dazzling potential future careers.

“Your memory sucks,” says the probably-a-sword. “It took you half an hour to find me, after you threw my ass off the cliff.”

“You don't have an ass!” says Dave. He grabs the sword and waves it in the air. “Quit fucking me about, you piece of shit!”

“That's legendary talking piece of shit to you,” says the sword. It sounds smug about it.

Dave snarls and swings it towards the rock, then halts with the blade inches from the cliff-face.

“No, you know what?” he says, taking a step back and plunging the blade into the earth underfoot. “Fuck this. I don't need you. I'm Dave Ghoststep; I could charge in there with a blade of grass and two bent coppers if I wanted.” He turns and starts to walk away from the sword.

“Don't leave me, Dave!” wails a feminine voice. Dave halts, and slowly turns to look back at the sword. Metallic snickering fills the air.

“Is what I'd say, if I didn't think it would be hilarious to watch you get killed being an idiot,” says the sword. Dave darkens, and you decide it is well past time that you put in an appearance.

“Hi Dave!” you say, stepping out of the shadows. The resulting yelp is almost as impressive as the way he skids five feet back without actually seeming to touch the intervening air.

“Roxy!” he half-says, half-gasps. “You...” He visibly shakes himself and straightens. “Okay, please tell me you're not all mind-controlled and grimdark, or I might have to flip my shit here.”

Your eyebrows rise. “Nope,” you say. “All natural Roxy, here.” You wave to the sword, still stuck in the dirt. “Hi, sword!”

There is silence from the blade, but Dave sighs. “You heard that, huh?”

“Yep,” you say. “He's kind of a jerk.”

“You're the jerk,” says the sword.

“Nuh-uh,” you say. “You.” Turning back to Dave, you stick your hands on your hips. “Now spill, mister! Where are the others?”

He glances down- briefly, but enough for you to know he doesn't want to talk about it. “In there somewhere,” he says, pointing up at the dark entrance overhead in the cliffside. “I hope so, anyway. Rose touched this mask thing and went all grey-skinned and creepy, and the others all changed when they tried to hold her back. It's infectious or some shit.”

“Right,” you say, plonking yourself down on the bottom step of the cliffside stair. “So. We got a rescue mission, then.” You frown, thinking. “We should bring the sword.”

“I've got a name,” the sword says. You ignore it.

“You sure about that?” says Dave, casting it a suspicious look as he settles down next to you.

“Yep,” you say. Your hands wave through the air, trying to shape out concepts as you explain. “Look, the mask is obvs some magic shenaniginanary, and we can probly free them by breaking it. That's like, magic items for apprentices. But magic items are super hard to break, sooo we bring the magic weapon with to whack it!”

Dave thinks about this.

“Roxy,” he says, after a while. “The mask is on Rose's face. Are you suggesting I hit Rose in the face with that sword? Because I'm no expert but she might have a bit of a fucking problem with that, even if it's only because he's a foul-mouthed dickweed.”

Ignoring the protestations of the sword, you consider this thorny problem.

“Yeah, you p much gotta hit her in the face,” you say, eventually. You hope you sound more confident than you feel. “But I'll be using my wizardly majjiks to help, so hopefully we can break it without hurting her much, and then she can do her oracle thing and poof herself better.”

Dave's mouth twists. “That's a helluva lot of ifs and maybes in that plan, there.”

“Yeah, well, being super-dangerous is a feature of creepy mind-altering magic items,” you say. He stares at you, and you scratch at the back of your neck. “And maybe I was a teensy-tiny bit drunk when I was s'posed to be learning about curse-breaking.”

“Well, this should go well,” says Dave, grabbing Caliburn out of the ground and slinging the sword up onto his shoulder. “Come on. Let's go get our asses handed to us.”

He holds a hand out to you and you let him help you up, but you push ahead of him on the steps before he can take point.

“I got this,” you say, flashing him a grin. “I'm the stealthiest. It's me.”

Dave just shrugs. “Whatever you say. You're the boss. Also the squishy wizard. I'm pretty sure this is against the adventuring code or some shit. Aren't we supposed to have some huge hulk of muscle in heavy armour standing in front of us?”

You think briefly of John, and quash the worry in your gut before it can get distracting. The best chance your friends- your _family_ \- have got is if you keep it together. “Pfft, you scared?”

“No,” says Dave. Too quickly, but you're not gonna call him on it, not when your own skin is crawling. The two of you climb in near-silence, broken only by your breath as you scramble up steps that have been made slick by time and weather.

At the top it takes you a moment to wind up your courage and step into the dark maw of the hill. Arcane lights flicker into green-hued life around you as soon as you enter the tall stone atrium, and you silently admire the spellwork that must have gone into them. Dave seems more unnerved than relaxed, but you're reminded of secret meetings and whispered mysteries of your wizardly education.

“Show-offs,” grumbles the sword. You both hush it, and spend several long seconds in still silence, waiting to see if you've been rumbled.

When it seems the way is clear you carry on through into the next chamber, a vast round theatre tiled in mosaics and hung with decaying tapestries. You tiptoe down the steps, watching the shadows for any sign of attack, but are left unmolested and apparently alone.

“We went through that door,” whispers Dave, pointing to one with a looping symbol over it that makes your skin crawl.

“Okies,” you say. “Wait here.”

“Why, what are you going to...” Dave breaks off, his jaw dropping open, as you wink at him, wiggle your fingers, say a few words, and vanish into thin air.

You'd love to stay and soak up his surprise, but as powerful as this invisibility spell is it has a time limit. You set off at a sprint down the corridor, keeping a silent count in your head. _One one-thousand, two one-thousand..._ when you get to three hundred you'll be visible again. Not that you'll be able to keep counting reliably if anything distracts you, but a vague idea is better than none at all.

The passage leads to a small, hexagonal chamber. It's lit with a purple light, and in the middle of it, sitting on an old stone altar, is Dirk. Except he looks all wrong; his skin is grey, and his hair is white, and shadows are curling around him like whispering smoke.

At his feet, slumped and bound, is an unconscious Aelfen. His skin and hair are as golden as the sun.

 _Shit._ You wait just long enough to confirm that there's nobody else in the room, then you turn tail and run back the way you came. The invisibility wears off just as you race, panting, back out to the central chamber. Dave's pacing along the middle of the floor, but he stops and turns your way as you jog up to him.

“Dirk's down there,” you gasp. “But not Rosie or Janey or John, or the mask.”

Dave curses. You lean over and try to catch your breath.

“He's got a prisoner,” you add. “The golden elf. I think we gotta make a rescue mission.”

“Yeah, sure, let's rescue our mysterious reverse-stalker from my possessed bro,” says Dave. “Nothing that can go wrong there.”

“Dave,” you say, straightening and catching his eye. “He's still gold. The grimdark didn't get him.”

 _He might have a solution._ You don't have to say it; you can see the moment Dave thinks it for you. He takes off running in the direction you just came, and with a brief pause to roll your eyes you start after him.

“I'll keep him busy, you get the elf dude,” says Dave. “Good?”

“Good,” you agree, mentally running through the spells you have prepared and wondering why you thought you needed so much invisible and so little protecty or blasty or un-enchanty. Urgh, it'll have to do. Sometimes you wish you could be more flexible like a sorcerer, but then you remember that you got your arcane powah by being super smart and figure they can keep their silly bloodline stuff. You're more awesome.

Dirk must have only just heard you coming, because when Dave bursts out into the room he’s still drawing his sword. You skid to a halt in the doorway but Dave doesn't; he just keeps moving, pulling out Caliburn on the move and charging his brother down. You use the moment of confusion to throw up another spell, one that locks plates of glimmering pink-tinted force around your body as armour. Dave’s initial rush catches Dirk off-guard, and Caliburn bites deep and true. You think maybe the sword skids a little weird off Dirk’s newly-grey skin, but with a hit like that it doesn’t make a whole lot of difference.

Despite the blood trickling down from his underarm, Dirk steps forward and swings his katana in riposte. It’s freaky to watch; you’ve seen Dirk fight and even when he’s silent he’s not silent like this. Dirk is silent like he’s waiting for the perfect moment, but this weird nega-Dirk is silent like he doesn’t even know how to make noise. You let out a frightened squeak when his blade slices true, opening a gash from hip to knee on Dave. Your fingers weave in the air and a cacophony of indistinct shouting voices ring in the air around Dirk. It’s not much, but you hope the distraction is enough of an edge for Dave.

As the combatants clash swords, you dart forward and skirt around them, pulling out your dagger as you approach the golden Aelfen lying on the ground. You’ve just gotta cut his bonds, wake him up, get out of here alive, and hope you don’t meet any more of your possessed companions.

You are _so screwed._

The air snaps. Used to magic, you can tell that there’s some at work, but it’s not the sort you’re used to. The cool chamber feels suddenly stifling, and you can feel the sound of gears in your head. There’s a beat like a pendulum, pacing with your heart- tick, tock, tick, tock- and you hear Dave’s feet fall in time with it.

You look round just as the pendulum stops, and see Dirk freeze in place for an instant before zipping back through the last few motions he made in a completely impossible fashion. Dave sidesteps away, and Dirk strikes forward again- the same strike that opened Dave’s leg, down to the twist at the end.

“Woah, cool!” you say, because it totally was. “I didn’t know you were magic!”

“I’m not!” yells Dave, as Dirk regains his senses and turns to face his opponent. You hastily get back to the Aelfen, slicing the rope around his wrists. You shake him, which seems to have no effect; worried, you try and check for a pulse. He’s worryingly cool, but before you can really start to panic you accidentally brush one of his wounds and he comes to with a jolt, staring at you with wide, golden eyes.

There’s a yell from behind you as Dirk slices Dave again.

“You’d do better if you fought properly, instead of like a wuss,” says the voice of the sword.

“I’m not killing my brother, dude,” says Dave, a little louder than is strictly calm. “Even if he doesn’t agree right now.”

You ignore them both and focus on the Aelfen. “Sorry, guy,” you say, drawing up a spell you remembered earlier. “But we totes don’t have time for agruments right now.” The Charm spell drops off your lips and settles over him… and then pours off like water. You curse, but before you can try to salvage the situation there’s a thump behind you and the Aelfen starts to scramble towards the fight.

“Oh, shit!” You whirl to try and grab him, and hesitate when you see him kneeling beside the still form of Dirk. The grey is fading from his skin, which would be much more of a relief if he wasn’t dangerously pale and still losing blood from his arm. A lot of blood. Wow.

“Hey, get away from him!” Dave yells.

“He’s your brother, isn’t he?” says the Aelfen, not looking round. He rips a length of cloth from the bottom of his tunic and starts applying pressure to the wound. “Let me help.”

You exchange a look with Dave; neither of you know anything about healing. You fiddle with some of the beading on your skirt, silently praying that Dirk is going to be okay. Dave doesn’t look any better than you. His face is impassive, but he’s pacing, Caliburn clutched in one hand. Dirk’s blood is still on the blade.

The Aelfen sits back and lets out a sigh. “He’s going to live,” he says, and you and Dave both let out a sigh of relief.

“Okay, great,” says Dave. Caliburn swings up and round to point at the stranger. “Now answers. Who are you, and how and why have you been reverse-following us?”

You’re expecting maybe denial, or excuses. You totally weren’t expecting the stranger to throw himself prone on his face.

“Forgive me, great one!” he says, his voice kinda muffled by the floor. “I did not mean to anger you!”

Dave blinks, once. “What.”

The man on the ground quivers, and you sigh. Stepping forwards, you gently push Caliburn aside. “Okay, for reals, quit hugging the floor. You don’t gotta do that. We just want to know who you are and why everyone we meet already met you!”

He glances up, hair falling a little messily across his face. He’s dressed nice under the dust and blood; well-made travelling clothes, but it’s deffo more wizard than warrior.

“I- my name is Balder Ikhnaton, my lady,” he says, looking the next best thing to shitting himself. “By the grace of the Light I saw your coming.”

Dave shifts. You slap his wrist to keep Caliburn down.

“Sorry to break it to you, dude, but you’ve got the wrong people,” says Dave. “We’re nothing special.” Your Godmark itches at the bald-faced lie; you try to keep your face straight.

Turns out, you might not have bothered. Rather than being fooled by your expert ruse, the Aelfen just looks surprised. “Nothing special?” he echoes, disbelieving. “How can that be, when you are the mortal avatars of the Gods?”

### Suggestions Used

 _Woe Kitten -_ Roxy: Pilfer something small but extremely useful from the orc camp.

 _nanrea -_ Roxy: Catch Dave talking to his sword when he thinks no one can hear him.

 _Craft -_ Roxy: Consider if any of your recent drinks were spiked.

 _Sethll7 -_ Roxy: Wonder about all the thing you will do with your new found sobriety.

 _1JakoftheMoon1 -_ Dave: Flail talking sword. Demand answers!

 _tempestousCoryphee -_ Caliburn: Be both cryptic and brash.

 _ttd0000 -_ Dave: Get into a shouting match with your new sword; Contemplate leaving it behind.

 _1JakoftheMoon1 -_ LPoTS: change the gender of your voice every once and a while. Because you can.

 _Aryashi -_ Dave: Feel the beat. Tick-Tock-Tick-Tock

 _Scedasticity -_ LTPOS: Provide undesired commentary.

 _1JakoftheMoon1 -_ Dave: defeat Dirk in a plot relevant sword fight. There must be feels. Feels!

[System Notes](http://celynbrum.tumblr.com/post/84005860450/lodad-system-notes-chapter-90)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I always forget how much I love writing Roxy. Roxy is a boss.
> 
> The suggestion: “Roxy: Stumble upon an unexpected Conspiracy in the Orc camp...” is being removed from the list, because I cannot find a way to fulfil it without adding a substantial chunk to the start of this chapter and ain't nobody got no time for that yo. **Ephemeral_Dreamer** , you may have two suggestions this week. Use 'em or lose 'em.
> 
> And finally, the golden elf is tracked down, and he has let the cat out of the bag! :D Bet he's not what you were expecting. (Don't take that bet, you all told me what you were expecting).


	91. -- LEVEL SIX --

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Hero point votes:**  
>  Dave 5  
> John 1  
> DAVE GAINS ONE HERO POINT!  
> Voting now open for the next Hero Point award: one person will get one after three chapters. 
> 
> **Current Hero Points:**  
>  John 2/5, Rose 4/5, **Dave 3/3, Jade 3/3**  
>  Karkat 4/5, **Gamzee 3/3,** Terezi 4/5  
>  **Sollux 3/3, Aradia 3/3, Kanaya 5/5**  
>  Jane 3/5, Jake 3/5, **Roxy 3/3, Dirk 3/3**

JOHN EGBERT [FIGHTER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/fighter.html#_fighter) ([TWO-HANDED FIGHTER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/fighter.html#_two-handed-fighter)) 6  
NEUTRAL GOOD

TL:DR – John now has an iterative attack, meaning that he can attack twice in a round instead of once (as long as he doesn't move around or anything)! He also gained a new feat that makes it harder for spellcasters to actually cast spells when he threatens them in combat, and an upgrade to smashin' stuff. Also his bigass polearm hammer now has some funky properties that make it better at smacking ghosts and extraplanar beings.

[ ](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/thj4e22n4vt8re1/John%20Egbert.png?dl=0)

BASIC STATISTICS  
GENDER: Male  
HAIR/EYES: Black hair, blue eyes  
HOMELAND: City of Porthaven (Outer Ring)  
DEITY: The Heir of Breath  
LANGUAGES: Common, High Elven  
RACE: Tuatha (High Elf)

ATTRIBUTES  
STRENGTH: 15[+2]  
DEXTERITY: 13[+1]  
CONSTITUTION: 12[+1]  
INTELLIGENCE: 10[+0]  
WISDOM: 12[+1]  
CHARISMA: 13[+1]

HIT POINTS: 46/46  
HERO POINTS: 2/5  
INITIATIVE: +1  
BASE SPEED/S: 30ft (land)

ARMOUR CLASS [AC]: 16  
TOUCH AC: 11  
FLAT-FOOTED AC: 15

BASE ATTACK BONUS [BAB]: +6/+1  
BASIC MELEE ATTACK: +8/+3  
BASIC RANGED ATTACK: +7/+2  
COMBAT MANEUVER BONUS [CMB]: +8/+3 (+10/+5 for Sundering)  
COMBAT MANEUVER DEFENCE [CMD]: 19 (21 for Sundering)

SAVES  
FORTITUDE: +7  
REFLEX: +4  
WILL: +4

[WEAPONS/ATTACKS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_weapon-descriptions)  
+1 [GHOST-TOUCHED](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/magicArmsAndArmor/weaponSpecialAbilities.html#_ghost-touch) [PLANAR](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/magicArmsAndArmor/weaponSpecialAbilities.html#_planar) [LUCERNE HAMMER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/advancedGear.html#_lucerne-hammer) \- Magical. Wielded two-handed and technically a polearm, this weapon has greater reach than most, a spike on the reverse of the head, and is also FUCKING TERRIFYING.  
[DAGGER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_dagger) \- Can be thrown, range 10ft.

EQUIPMENT - [CARRYING CAPACITY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/additionalRules.html#_carrying-capacity) (STR 16)

EQUIPMENT - ITEM SLOTS  
CLOTHING: ARTISAN'S OUTFIT  
This outfit consists of a shirt with buttons, drawstring pants, shoes, and a slightly battered hat. It also includes a belt for carrying small items such as a money pouch.

ARMOUR: CHAIN SHIRT OF SPELL-STORING DEFENCE +1  
+5 armour bonus, +4 max DEX bonus, -1 Armour Check Penalty, 20% Arcane Spell Failure Chance, LIGHT  
SPECIAL: This variant on [Spell-Storing Armour](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/magicArmsAndArmor/armorSpecialAbilities.html#_spell-storing) allows a spellcaster to store a single beneficial touch spell of up to 2rd level in it. Any time a creature hits the wearer with a melee attack or melee touch attack, the armour can cast the spell on the wearer as a swift action if the wearer desires. Once the spell has been cast from the armour, a spellcaster can cast any other beneficial touch spell of up to 3rd level into it. The armour magically imparts to the wielder the name of the spell currently stored within it.

EQUIPMENT - POSSESSIONS  
+1 Ghost-Touched Planar Lucerne Hammer 12lbs, Chain Shirt of Spell-Storing Defence +1 25lbs, Dagger 1lb, Waterskin 4lbs, Masterwork Studded Leather 20lbs

>BACKPACK, MASTERWORK 4lbs (Capacity 60lbs, +1 STR to carry loads)  
Tent (Medium, 2 people) 30lbs, Bedroll 5lbs, Parade Armour 20lbs

>POUCH, BELT 0.5lbs (Capacity 10lbs)  
Flint and Steel, Bird Feather Token [x2], Itching Powder [x1] 2lbs

TOTAL 100.5lbs (41.5lbs without backpack)

EQUIPMENT - MONEY  
0CP, 6SP, 60GP, 0PP  
OTHER:

SKILLS  
TRAINED  
BLUFF +5(4), DIPLOMACY +6(5), +KNOWLEDGE(DUNGEONEERING) +8(5), +PROFESSION(PORTHAVEN GUARD) +5(1)

UNTRAINED  
ACROBATICS +1*, APPRAISE +0, +CLIMB +2*, +CRAFT +0, DISGUISE +1, ESCAPE ARTIST +1*, HEAL +1, +INTIMIDATE +1, PERCEPTION +3, PERFORM +1, +RIDE +1*, SENSE MOTIVE +1, STEALTH +1*, +SURVIVAL +1, +SWIM +2*  
(FLY +1*)

*Armour Check Penalty: Skill at –0 due to armour worn.  
+Class Skill

FEATS  
[POWER ATTACK [REQUIRES: STR 13, BAB+1]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_power-attack)  
The character can make exceptionally deadly melee attacks by sacrificing accuracy for strength.

[FURIOUS FOCUS [REQUIRES: POWER ATTACK]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/advancedFeats.html#_furious-focus)   
Even in the midst of fierce and furious blows, the character can find focus in the carnage and his seemingly wild blows strike home.

[BLUDGEONER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/ultimateCombatFeats.html#_bludgeoner)   
The character can knock foes out cold with just about any blunt instrument.

[RACIAL ABILITIES: ELVEN](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advancedRaceGuide/coreRaces/elves.html#_elf-racial-traits)  
LANGUAGES - Tuatha begin play speaking Common and High Elven. Tuatha with high Intelligence scores can choose from the following: Celestial, Draconic, Gnoll, Gnome, Goblin, Orc, and Sylvan.

SPECIAL ABILITIES  
GODMARKED  
[HERO’S FORTUNE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/advancedNewRules.html#_hero's-fortune) \- Even at the start of his career, it was clear that the character had a chance at greatness, and his legend continues to grow with every adventure.  
[DEFLECTION AURA](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/cleric.html#_deflection-aura) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) - The character can emit an aura that makes nearby allies harder to hit for a short time dependent on his character level.  
EXTRA - The character receives a +1 resistance bonus on saving throws. This bonus increases by +1 for every 5 levels he possesses.  
[WHISPERING WIND](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/whisperingWind.html#_whispering-wind) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (2 USES/DAY) - Sends a short message 1 mile/level.  
[WIND WALL](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/windWall.html#_wind-wall) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – The character can summon the breeze to deflect arrows, smaller creatures, and gases.

CLASS FEATURES  
WEAPON AND ARMOUR PROFICIENCY: FIGHTER  
A fighter is proficient with all simple and martial weapons and with all armour (heavy, light, and medium) and shields (including tower shields).

FEAT: [CLEAVE [REQUIRES: POWER ATTACK]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_cleave)  
The fighter can strike two adjacent foes with a single swing.

FEAT: [GREAT CLEAVE [REQUIRES: CLEAVE, BAB +4]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_great-cleave)  
The fighter can strike many adjacent foes with a single blow.

FEAT: [PUSHING ASSAULT [REQUIRES: STR 15, POWER ATTACK, BAB +1]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/advancedFeats.html#_pushing-assault)  
A strike made with a two-handed weapon can push a similar sized opponent backward.

[SHATTERING STRIKE (+1)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/fighter.html#_shattering-strike) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
At 2nd level, the two-handed fighter gains a bonus to sunder attempts and on damage rolls made against objects. 

[OVERHAND CHOP [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/fighter.html#_overhand-chop)  
At 3rd level, a two-handed fighter making a single attack with a two-handed weapon strikes more powerfully.

[WEAPON TRAINING (HAMMERS) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/fighter.html#_weapon-training)  
_NB: Lucerne Hammers are part of the “Polearms” Group, and not the “Hammers” Group._  
At 5th level, the two-handed fighter selects a group of [two-handed melee weapons](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/fighter.html#_two-handed-fighter) with which he can hit harder and more accurately.

FEAT: [DISRUPTIVE [REQUIRES: FIGHTER LEVEL 6]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_disruptive)  
The fighter's training makes it difficult for enemy spellcasters to safely cast spells near him.

* * *

ROSE LALONDE [ORACLE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/baseClasses/oracle.html) \- [DARK TAPESTRY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spellcastingClassOptions/oracle.html#_dark-tapestry) ([SEER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spellcastingClassOptions/oracle.html#_seer_\(archetype\))) 6  
TRUE NEUTRAL

TL:DR – Rose has gained some more powerful spells, and her armour has been affected by dark powers and gained a mysterious ability.

[ ](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/3jmigabf3wsuce2/Rose%20Lalonde.png?dl=0)

BASIC STATISTICS  
GENDER: Female  
HAIR/EYES: Blonde hair, purple eyes  
HOMELAND: City of Porthaven (Temple District)  
DEITY: The Seer of Light  
LANGUAGES: Common, Celestial, Abyssal, Draconic, Sylvan  
RACE: Aasimar

ATTRIBUTES  
STRENGTH: 8[-1]  
DEXTERITY: 12[+1]  
CONSTITUTION: 10[+0]  
INTELLIGENCE: 14[+2]  
WISDOM: 15[+2]  
CHARISMA: 18[+4]

HIT POINTS: 34/34  
HERO POINTS: 4/5  
INITIATIVE: +1  
BASE SPEED/S: 30ft (land)

ARMOUR CLASS [AC]: 18  
TOUCH AC: 11  
FLAT-FOOTED AC: 17

BASE ATTACK BONUS [BAB]: +4  
BASIC MELEE ATTACK: +3  
BASIC RANGED ATTACK: +5  
COMBAT MANEUVER BONUS [CMB]: +3  
COMBAT MANEUVER DEFENCE [CMD]: 14

SAVES  
FORTITUDE: +2  
REFLEX: +3  
WILL: +7

[WEAPONS/ATTACKS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_weapon-descriptions)  
[CLAWS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/sorcerer.html#_abyssal) \- Grow instantly, 7 rounds/day, double attack (claw-claw).  
[DAGGER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_dagger) \- Can be thrown, range 10ft.  
[COLOUR SPRAY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/colorSpray.html#_color-spray) [WAND](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/magicItems/wands.html#_wands) (3/Day) – Standard Action to activate, does not provoke Attacks of Opportunity. 

EQUIPMENT - [CARRYING CAPACITY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/additionalRules.html#_carrying-capacity) (STR 8)

EQUIPMENT - ITEM SLOTS  
CLOTHING: ENTERTAINER'S OUTFIT  
This set of flashy- perhaps even gaudy- clothes is for entertaining. While the outfit looks whimsical, its practical design lets the character tumble, dance, walk a tightrope, or just run if the audience turns ugly.

ARMOUR: [SOOTHSAYER'S RAIMENT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/magicItems/armor.html#_soothsayer%27s-raiment) (DARK TAPESTRY – [WINGS OF DARKNESS REVELATION](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spellcastingClassOptions/oracle.html#_wings-of-darkness))  
+7 armour bonus, +2 max DEX bonus, -4 Armour Check Penalty, 30% Arcane Spell Failure Chance, MEDIUM.  
SPECIAL: This +1 chainmail is attuned to a particular oracular mystery and contains a revelation associated with that mystery. While wearing the armor, an oracle has access to that revelation and may use it as if she had it as a normal class feature. For divination spells with a percentage-based chance of success (such as augury and divination), the wearer's chance increases by +5.

EQUIPMENT - POSSESSIONS  
Colour Spray Wand, Dagger 1lb, Soothsayer's Raiment 40lbs, Waterskin 4lbs, Holy Symbol (Silver) 1lb, Signet Ring

>POUCH, BELT 0.5lbs (Capacity 10lbs)  
Flint and Steel, Sewing Needle, String/Twine [50ft] 0.5lbs

>POUCH, BELT 0.5lbs (Capacity 10lbs)  
Stationary, Sealing Wax 1lb, Ink (Black) [1oz. Vial], Ink (Purple) [1oz. Vial], Inkpen, Journal 1lb

TOTAL 9.5lbs

EQUIPMENT - MONEY  
9CP, 5SP, 17GP, 0PP  
OTHER:

SKILLS  
TRAINED  
+DIPLOMACY +13(5), +INTIMIDATE +11(5), +KNOWLEDGE HISTORY +8(3), +KNOWLEDGE NOBILITY +7(2), +KNOWLEDGE PLANES +13(5), +KNOWLEDGE RELIGION +10(5), +SENSE MOTIVE +11(6), +SPELLCRAFT +10(5), USE MAGIC DEVICE +5(2)

UNTRAINED  
ACROBATICS +1*, APPRAISE +2, BLUFF +3, CLIMB -1*, +CRAFT +2, +DISGUISE +3, ESCAPE ARTIST +1*, +HEAL +2, PERCEPTION +4, PERFORM +3, RIDE +1*, +STEALTH +1*, SURVIVAL +2, SWIM -1*  
(FLY +1*)

*Armour Check Penalty: Skill at –4 due to armour worn.  
+Class Skill

FEATS  
[COMBAT CASTING](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_combat-casting)  
The character is adept at spellcasting when threatened or distracted.

[SKILL FOCUS (KNOWLEDGE PLANES)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_skill-focus)   
The character is particularly adept at the selected skill.

[ELDRITCH HERITAGE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/ultimateMagicFeats.html#_eldritch-heritage) ([ABYSSAL](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/sorcerer.html#_abyssal)) [REQUIRES: CHA 13, SKILL FOCUS (KNOWLEDGE PLANES), CHARACTER LEVEL 3RD]  
The character gains the first-level bloodline power for the selected bloodline, slightly weaker than a sorcerer of equivalent level. In this case, that power is claws.

[RACIAL ABILITIES: AASIMAR](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advancedRaceGuide/featuredRaces/aasimars.html#_aasimar-racial-traits)  
AASIMARS DO NOT COUNT AS OUTSIDERS FOR THE PURPOSE OF THIS SETTING.  
[DAYLIGHT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/daylight.html#_daylight) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Aasimars can touch an object and cause it to shed a brilliant light which drives back even magical darkness.  
LANGUAGES – Aasimars begin play speaking Common and Celestial. Aasimars with high Intelligence scores can choose any of the following bonus languages: Draconic, Dwarven, High Elven, Gnome, Halfling, and Sylvan.

SPECIAL ABILITIES  
GODMARKED  
[HERO’S FORTUNE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/advancedNewRules.html#_hero's-fortune) \- Even at the start of her career, it was clear that the character had a chance at greatness, and her legend continues to grow with every adventure.  
[LORE KEEPER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/cleric.html#_knowledge-domain) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] – The character can touch a creature to learn about its abilities and weaknesses.  
EXTRA – The character treats all Knowledge skills as class skills.  
[TRUE STRIKE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/trueStrike.html#_true-strike) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (2 USES/DAY) - The character gains temporary, intuitive insight into the immediate future during her next attack.  
[AUGERY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/augury.html#_augury) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) - Tells whether a particular action will bring good or bad results in the immediate future.

CLASS FEATURES  
WEAPON AND ARMOUR PROFICIENCY: ORACLE  
Oracles are proficient with all simple weapons, light armour, medium armour, and shields (except tower shields).

[CURSE: TONGUES (Abyssal)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/baseClasses/oracle.html#_tongues)  
Whenever the oracle is in combat, she can only speak and understand the Abyssal tongue. She automatically knows the language and can speak it at other times voluntarily.

[REVELATION: NATURAL DIVINATION [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY] (2 USES/DAY)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/baseClasses/oracle.html#_natural-divination)  
An oracle can read the entrails of a freshly killed animal, interpret the flights of birds, and chart marks in dirt or stone to gain small advantages at some point in the next day.

REVELATION: [GIFT OF PROPHECY [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spellcastingClassOptions/oracle.html#_gift-of-prophecy)(1 USE/DAY)  
Once per day, the Oracle can enter a trance to gain a glimpse of the future equivalent to the benefits of an [divination](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/magic.html#_divination) spell with 90% effectiveness.

SPELLS  
LEVEL 0 [At Will] Save DC 14  
[DETECT MAGIC](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/detectMagic.html#detect-magic), [ENHANCED DIPLOMACY](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/all-spells/e/enhanced-diplomacy), [GUIDANCE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/guidance.html#guidance), [LIGHT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/light.html#light), [READ MAGIC](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/readMagic.html#read-magic), [RESISTANCE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/resistance.html#_resistance), [STABILIZE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/stabilize.html#stabilize)

LEVEL 1 [7/Day] Save DC 15  
[ABADAR'S](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/all-spells/a/abadar-s-truthtelling) [TRUTHTELLING](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/zoneOfTruth.html#zone-of-truth), [CURE LIGHT WOUNDS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/cureLightWounds.html#cure-light-wounds), [ENTROPIC SHIELD](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/entropicShield.html#_entropic-shield), [INFLICT LIGHT WOUNDS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/inflictLightWounds.html#inflict-light-wounds), [EMBRACE DESTINY](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/all-spells/e/embrace-destiny), [WEAPONWAND](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/all-spells/w/weaponwand)

LEVEL 2 [6/Day] Save DC 16  
[ANCESTRAL COMMUNION](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/all-spells/a/ancestral-communion), [CURE MODERATE WOUNDS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/cureModerateWounds.html#_cure-moderate-wounds), [DETECT THOUGHTS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/detectThoughts.html#_detect-thoughts), [INFLICT MODERATE WOUNDS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/inflictModerateWounds.html#_inflict-moderate-wounds)

LEVEL 3 [4/Day] Save DC 17  
[CURE SERIOUS WOUNDS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/cureSeriousWounds.html#_cure-serious-wounds), [INFLICT SERIOUS WOUNDS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/inflictSeriousWounds.html#_inflict-serious-wounds), [CLAIRAUDIENCE/CLAIRVOYANCE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/clairaudienceClairvoyance.html#_clairaudience-clairvoyance)

* * *

DAVE STRIDER [ROGUE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/rogue.html#_rogue) ([SWASHBUCKLER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/rogue.html#_swashbuckler)) 6  
TRUE NEUTRAL

TL:DR – Dave can now zip around a foe he's in melee combat with, and is slightly more acrobatic.

[ ](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/z4phu07mjzo543t/Dave%20Strider.png?dl=0)

BASIC STATISTICS  
GENDER: Male  
HAIR/EYES: Blonde hair, red eyes  
HOMELAND: City of Porthaven (No Fixed Abode)/The Greenweald Forest Region (No Fixed Abode)  
DEITY: The Knight of Time  
LANGUAGES: Common, Celestial, High Elven  
RACE: Aasimar

ATTRIBUTES  
STRENGTH: 14[+2]  
DEXTERITY: 15[+2]  
CONSTITUTION: 13[+1]  
INTELLIGENCE: 13[+1]  
WISDOM: 12[+1]  
CHARISMA: 10[+0]

HIT POINTS: 41/41  
HERO POINTS: 3/3  
INITIATIVE: +2  
BASE SPEED/S: 30ft (land)

ARMOUR CLASS [AC]: 15  
TOUCH AC: 12  
FLAT-FOOTED AC: 13

BASE ATTACK BONUS [BAB]: +4  
BASIC MELEE ATTACK: +6  
BASIC RANGED ATTACK: +6  
COMBAT MANEUVER BONUS [CMB]: +6  
COMBAT MANEUVER DEFENCE [CMD]: 18

SAVES  
FORTITUDE: +3  
REFLEX: +7  
WILL: +3

[WEAPONS/ATTACKS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_weapon-descriptions)  
CALIBURN (+2 INTELLIGENT UNKNOWN [BASTARD SWORD](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_bastard-sword)) - This large hand-and-a-half weapon can magically repair itself when broken. Any other qualities of this weapon are as yet unknown.  
[LONGSWORD](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_longsword) \- [Fragile Quality](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/combat/primitiveArmorAndWeapons.html#fragile), can use two-handed for additional damage but cannot use buckler.  
[SHORTSWORD](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_shortsword)  
[DAGGER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_dagger) \- Can be thrown, range 10ft.

EQUIPMENT - [CARRYING CAPACITY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/additionalRules.html#_carrying-capacity) (STR 15)

EQUIPMENT - ITEM SLOTS  
CLOTHING: PICKPOCKET'S OUTFIT + MASK  
Outfitted with concealed pockets, this clothing gives the character a +2 bonus on hiding small objects on his person. It consists of a pull-on shirt with long sleeves, a loose jacket, drawstring pants, boots and a sturdy belt. The mask is an ornately decorated strip of dark fabric with eye-holes, that both mimics and mocks a stereotypical "bandit" mask.

ARMOUR: LEATHER ARMOUR  
+2 armour bonus, +6 max DEX bonus, -0 Armour Check Penalty, 10% Arcane Spell Failure Chance, LIGHT

SHIELD: BUCKLER  
+1 shield bonus, -1 Armour Check Penalty, 5% Arcane Spell Failure Chance  
SPECIAL: The character can use his shield arm to wield a weapon, but takes a -1 penalty on attack rolls while doing so, and loses the +1 shield bonus to AC until his next turn. It is not possible to shield bash with a buckler.

EQUIPMENT - POSSESSIONS  
Caliburn 6lbs, Longsword (Fragile) 4lbs, Shortsword 2lbs, Leather Armour 15lbs, Clothing (Mask, 3gp) 1lb, Buckler 5lbs, Dagger 1lb

>BACKPACK, MASTERWORK 4lbs (Capacity 60lbs, +1 STR to carry loads)  
Tent (Small, 1 person) 20lbs, Bedroll 5lbs, Kit (Cooking) 2lbs

>POUCH, BELT 0.5lbs (Capacity 10lbs)  
Flint and Steel, Whetstone 1lb

>POUCH, PATHFINDER 1lbs (Capacity 10lbs)[Extra-Dimensional Space, Command Word Activated, Does Not Detect As Magical]  
Tools (Thieves') 1lb, Waterskin 4lbs

TOTAL 50.5lbs (19.5lbs without backpack)

EQUIPMENT - MONEY  
8CP, 0SP, 3GP, 0PP  
OTHER:

SKILLS  
TRAINED  
+ACROBATICS +12(6)*, +APPRAISE +10(6), +BLUFF +12(6), +DISABLE DEVICE* +6(1), +ESCAPE ARTIST +10(5)*, +INTIMIDATE +6(3), +KNOWLEDGE LOCAL +6(2), +PERCEPTION +11(5), +PERFORM(ILL BEATS AND SICK FIRES) +9(6), +SLEIGHT OF HAND +9(4)*, +STEALTH +11(6)*, +USE MAGIC DEVICE +9(6)

UNTRAINED  
+CLIMB +2*, +CRAFT +1, +DIPLOMACY +2, +DISGUISE +0, HEAL +1, PERFORM +0, RIDE +2*, +SENSE MOTIVE +1, SURVIVAL +1, +SWIM +2*  
(FLY +2*)

*Armour Check Penalty: Skill at –1 due to armour worn.  
+Class Skill

FEATS  
[ SKILL FOCUS (BLUFF)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_skill-focus)  
The character is particularly adept at the chosen skill.

[DISPOSABLE WEAPON [REQUIRES: BAB+1, WEAPON PROFICIENCY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/ultimateCombatFeats.html#_disposable-weapon)   
The character ignores the limitations of his equipment, striking harder despite the damage it does to his weapon.

[QUICK DRAW [REQUIRES: BAB+1]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_quick-draw)   
The character can draw weapons faster than most.

[RACIAL ABILITIES: AASIMAR](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advancedRaceGuide/featuredRaces/aasimars.html#_aasimar-racial-traits)  
AASIMARS DO NOT COUNT AS OUTSIDERS FOR THE PURPOSE OF THIS SETTING.  
[DAYLIGHT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/daylight.html#_daylight) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Aasimars can touch an object and cause it to shed a brilliant light which drives back even magical darkness.  
LANGUAGES – Aasimars begin play speaking Common and Celestial. Aasimars with high Intelligence scores can choose any of the following bonus languages: Draconic, Dwarven, High Elven, Gnome, Halfling, and Sylvan.

SPECIAL ABILITIES  
GODMARKED  
WEAPON PROFICIENCY (BASTARD SWORD)  
[INSPIRING COMMAND](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/cleric.html#_inspiring-command) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] – The character can issue an inspiring command to his allies, improving their accuracy, defence, and focus for a short time.  
[DEATHWATCH](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/deathwatch.html#_deathwatch) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (2 USES/DAY) - The character can determine the condition of creatures near death within the spell's range.  
[ONE TRACK MIND](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/3rd-party-spells/purple-duck-games/one-track-mind) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) - The target repeats their last action over and over again.

CLASS FEATURES  
WEAPON AND ARMOUR PROFICIENCY: ROGUE  
Rogues are proficient with all simple weapons, plus the hand crossbow, rapier, sap, shortbow, and short sword. They are proficient with light armour, but not with shields.

[MARTIAL TRAINING [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY] (Longsword)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/rogue.html#_martial-training)  
At first level, the swashbuckler may select one martial weapon to add to his list of weapon proficiencies. In addition, he may take the combat trick rogue talent up to two times. 

[SNEAK ATTACK [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY] (+3d6 Precision Damage)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/rogue.html#_sneak-attack)  
A rogue can strike a vital spot for more damage whenever their foe is in a vulnerable position.

[EVASION](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/rogue.html#_evasion-rogue) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
At 2nd level and higher, the rogue can avoid even magical and unusual attacks with great agility.

[DARING [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/rogue.html#_daring)   
At 3rd level, the swashbuckler becomes more nimble and resistant to fear.

[UNCANNY DODGE [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/rogue.html#_uncanny-dodge-rogue)   
At 4th level, the rogue can react to danger before his senses would normally allow him to do so.

ROGUE TALENTS  
[BLEEDING ATTACK](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/rogue.html#_rogue-talents-bleeding-attack) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
A rogue with this ability can cause living opponents to bleed by hitting them with a sneak attack.  
[POWERFUL SNEAK](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/rogue.html#_powerful-sneak**) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
A rogue with this ability can take a penalty to attack to treat all 1s on sneak attack damage dice as 2s.  
[POSITIONING ATTACK](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/rogue.html#_positioning-attack) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
Once per day, when a rogue with this talent hits a creature with a melee attack, he can move around the creature hit without provoking attacks of opportunity.

* * *

JADE HARLEY [DRUID](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/druid.html#_druid) ([WOLF SHAMAN](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/druid.html#_wolf-shaman)) 6  
NEUTRAL GOOD

TL:DR – Jade's Wildshape ability has improved for canine shapes, and she has some new magical wooden/leather armour.

[ ](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/n8m84d8ync11huv/Jade%20Harley.png?dl=0)

BASIC STATISTICS  
GENDER: Female  
HAIR/EYES: Black hair, green eyes  
HOMELAND: The Greenweald Forest Region (The Whispering Grove)  
DEITY: The Witch of Space  
LANGUAGES: Common, High Elven, Sylvan, Druidic  
RACE: Tuatha (High Elf)

ATTRIBUTES  
STRENGTH: 8[-1]  
DEXTERITY: 15[+2]  
CONSTITUTION: 12[+1]  
INTELLIGENCE: 12[+1]  
WISDOM: 16[+3]  
CHARISMA: 12[+1]

HIT POINTS: 38/38  
HERO POINTS: 3/3  
INITIATIVE: +4  
BASE SPEED/S: 30ft (land)

ARMOUR CLASS [AC]: 18  
TOUCH AC: 12  
FLAT-FOOTED AC: 16

BASE ATTACK BONUS [BAB]: +4  
BASIC MELEE ATTACK: +3  
BASIC RANGED ATTACK: +6  
COMBAT MANEUVER BONUS [CMB]: +3  
COMBAT MANEUVER DEFENCE [CMD]: 15

SAVES  
FORTITUDE: +6  
REFLEX: +4  
WILL: +7  
+4 to all Saving Throws against the spell-like and supernatural abilities of Fey.

[WEAPONS/ATTACKS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_weapon-descriptions)  
[MASTERWORK MUSKET](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/combat/firearms.html#_musket) AND [FAR-REACHING SIGHT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/combat/firearms.html#_far-reaching-sight) \- Ammunition 29 bullets, 29 black powder charges (both required to fire).  
[SLING](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_sling) – Less damage from improvised ammunition.  
[DAGGER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_dagger) \- Can be thrown, range 10ft.

EQUIPMENT - [CARRYING CAPACITY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/additionalRules.html#_carrying-capacity) (STR 16)

EQUIPMENT - ITEM SLOTS  
CLOTHING: TRAVELLER'S OUTFIT  
This set of clothes consists of boots, a wool skirt, a sturdy belt, a shirt with a vest, and an ample cloak with a hood.

ARMOUR: +3 [WOODEN ARMOUR](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/advancedGear.html#_wooden-armor)  
+6 armour bonus, +3 max DEX bonus, -0 Armour Check Penalty, 15% Arcane Spell Failure Chance, LIGHT  
SPECIAL: This suit of leather armour has plates of fire-treated wood sewn over vital areas. Though not as effective as metal armour, it offers better protection than leather alone. Unlike metal armour, the wood is slightly buoyant, and the armour check penalty for swimming in this armour is 0.

SHOULDERS: [MULEBACK CORDS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/magicItems/wondrousItems.html#_muleback-cords)  
These thick leather cords wrap around the wearer's biceps and shoulders; when worn, they make the muscles appear larger than normal and allow her to carry far more than usual.

EQUIPMENT - POSSESSIONS  
Masterwork Musket 9lb, Far-Reaching Sight 1lb, Sling, +3 Wooden Armour 25lbs, Muleback Cords 0.25lbs, Dagger 1lb, Waterskin 4lbs

>[BAG OF HOLDING, TYPE 1](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/magicItems/wondrousItems.html#_bag-of-holding) 15lbs (Capacity 250lbs)  
Tent (Small, 1 person) 20lbs, Bedroll 5lbs, Sling Bullets [x20] 10lbs

>POUCH, BELT 0.5lbs (Capacity 10lbs)  
Flint and Steel, Holly and Mistletoe, Fishhook, Whistle (Silent)

>POUCH, BELT 0.5lbs (Capacity 10lbs)  
Firearm Bullets [x30] 0.5lbs, Potion of Cure Moderate Wounds [x5]

>POWDER HORN 1lb (Capacity 10 x Black Powder)  
Black Powder [x9] [crafted at 10% cost]

>POWDER HORN 1lb (Capacity 10 x Black Powder)  
Black Powder [x10] [crafted at 10% cost]

>POWDER HORN 1lb (Capacity 10 x Black Powder)  
Black Powder [x10] [crafted at 10% cost]

TOTAL 34.75lbs (19.75lbs without portable hole)

EQUIPMENT - MONEY  
0CP, 7SP, 545GP, 0PP  
OTHER:

SKILLS  
TRAINED  
+HEAL +8(1), +HANDLE ANIMAL +10(6), KNOWLEDGE (DUNGEONEERING) +5(4), +KNOWLEDGE(GEOGRAPHY) +7(3), +KNOWLEDGE(NATURE) +12(6), +PERCEPTION +10(3), +SPELLCRAFT +10(6), +SURVIVAL +16(5)

UNTRAINED  
ACROBATICS +2*, APPRAISE +1, BLUFF +1, +CLIMB -1*, +CRAFT +1, DIPLOMACY +1, DISGUISE +1, ESCAPE ARTIST +2*, INTIMIDATE +1, PERFORM +1, +RIDE +2*, SENSE MOTIVE +2, STEALTH +2*, SWIM -1*  
(+FLY +2*)

*Armour Check Penalty: Skill at –0 due to armour worn.  
+Class Skill

FEATS  
[SELF-SUFFICIENT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_self-sufficient)  
The character knows how to get along in the wild and how to effectively treat wounds.

[DEADLY AIM [REQUIRES: DEX 13, BAB +1]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_deadly-aim)   
The character can make exceptionally deadly ranged attacks by pinpointing a foe's weak spot, at the expense of making the attack less likely to succeed.

[ASPECT OF THE BEAST [REQUIRES: WILD SHAPE CLASS FEATURE]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/advancedFeats.html#_aspect-of-the-beast)   
The character has a keen sense of when trouble is brewing, and an animalistic instinct for survival.

[RACIAL ABILITIES: ELVEN](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advancedRaceGuide/coreRaces/elves.html#_elf-racial-traits)  
LANGUAGES - Tuatha begin play speaking Common and High Elven. Tuatha with high Intelligence scores can choose from the following: Celestial, Draconic, Gnoll, Gnome, Goblin, Orc, and Sylvan.

SPECIAL ABILITIES  
GODMARKED  
WEAPON PROFICIENCY (MUSKET)  
[DIVINE VESSEL](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/cleric.html#_divine-vessel) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (4 USES/DAY) – The character can, whenever divine magic is cast on her, grant her nearby allies a boon on one of their next actions.  
[LONGSTRIDER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/longstrider.html#_longstrider) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (2 USES/DAY) - This power gives the character a +10 foot enhancement bonus to her base speed.  
[LOCATE OBJECT ](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/locateObject.html#_locate-object) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) - The character senses the direction towards an object (specific or type).

CLASS FEATURES  
WEAPON AND ARMOUR PROFICIENCY: DRUID  
Druids are proficient with the following weapons: club, dagger, dart, quarterstaff, scimitar, scythe, sickle, shortspear, sling, and spear. They are also proficient with all natural attacks (claw, bite, and so forth) of any form they assume with wild shape.  
Druids are proficient with light and medium armour but are prohibited from wearing metal armour. Druids are proficient with shields (except tower shields) but must use only wooden ones. A druid who wears prohibited armour or uses a prohibited shield is unable to cast druid spells or use any supernatural or spell-like class abilities while doing so, and for 24 hours thereafter.

[SPONTANEOUS CASTING](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/druid.html#_spontaneous-casting-druid)  
A druid can channel stored spell energy to summon a creature to aid her.

[NATURE BOND [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/druid.html#wolf-shaman): ANIMAL COMPANION (BEC, [WOLF](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/monsters/wolf.html#_wolf))  
HIT POINTS: 45/45  
SIZE: Medium SPEED: 50ft  
STR 15[+2], DEX 17[+3], CON 16[+3], INT 2[-4], WIS 12[+1], CHA 6[-2]  
ATTACK:  
BAB: +4 ATTACK: BITE +6 (1d6+2), trip  
CMB: +6  
DEFENCE:  
AC: 19 (Natural Armour +5)  
CMD: 19  
SAVES: FORT 8, REF 8, WILL 3  
SKILLS:  
Survival 2, Perception 5, Intimidate 1  
FEATS:  
[Improved Natural Armour](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/additionalMonsters/monsterFeats.html#improved-natural-armor), [Dodge](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_dodge), [Mobility](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_mobility)  
TRICKS:  
Down – The animal breaks off from combat or otherwise backs down.  
Guard – The animal stays in place and prevents others from approaching.  
SPECIAL ABILITIES:  
[Low-Light Vision](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/glossary.html#_low-light-vision), [Scent](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/glossary.html#_scent), [Link](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/druid.html#_companions-link), [Share Spells](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/druid.html#_companions-share-spells), [Evasion](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/druid.html#_companions-evasion), href="http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/druid.html#_companions-devotion">Devotion

NATURE SENSE [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
A druid is more knowledgeable about nature and better able to survive in the wilderness.

WILD EMPATHY [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
A druid can communicate wordlessly with an animal, in the hope of making it more friendly towards the druid and her allies. A wolf shaman is particularly good at communicating with canines.

[WOODLAND STRIDE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/druid.html#_woodland-stride-druid) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
Starting at 2nd level, the druid may move through any sort of undergrowth (such as natural thorns, briars, overgrown areas, and similar terrain) at her normal speed.

[TOTEM TRANSFORMATION](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/druid.html#_wolf-shaman) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (5 MINUTES/DAY, STANDARD ACTION)  
At 2nd level, the wolf shaman may adopt an aspect of the wolf while retaining her normal form. She gains one of the following bonuses:  
>MOVEMENT (+20 enhancement bonus to land speed)  
>SENSES (low-light vision, +4 racial bonus to Survival when tracking by scent)  
>NATURAL WEAPONS (bite [1d4 plus trip], +2 CMB to trip)  
While using totem transformation, the wolf shaman may speak normally and can cast speak with animals (canines only) at will.

[TRACKLESS STEP [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/druid.html#_trackless-step)   
At 3rd level, the druid no longer leaves a trail in natural surroundings and cannot be tracked unless she chooses to be.

[RESIST NATURE'S LURE [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/druid.html#_resist-nature-s-lure)   
Starting at 4th level, a druid becomes more resistant to the magical abilities of fey.

[WILD SHAPE [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/druid.html#_wild-shape)   
At 4th level, a druid gains the ability to turn herself into any small or Medium animal and back again once per day, like the [beast shape I spell](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/beastShape.html#_beast-shape-i). At 6th level, a wolf shaman’s wild shape ability functions at her druid level -2. If she takes on the form of a canine, she instead uses her druid level + 2. At 8th level, a druid can use wild shape to change into a Huge or Diminutive animal, a Medium elemental, or a Small or Medium plant creature. When taking the form of animals, a druid's wild shape now functions as [beast shape III](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/beastShape.html#_beast-shape-iii). The effect lasts for 1 hour per druid level, or until she changes back.

[TOTEMIC SUMMONS [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/druid.html#_totemic-summons)   
At 5th level, the wolf shaman may cast summon nature’s ally more swiftly when summoning canines, and these summoned canines are tougher proportional to her druid level.

SPELLS  
[DRUID LEVEL 0](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/spell-lists-and-domains/spell-lists---druid#p0) [4 Prepared, At Will] Save DC 13  
+KNOW DIRECTION – You discern north.  
+MENDING – Makes minor repairs on an object.  
+SPARK – Ignites flammable objects. +STABILIZE – Cause a dying creature to stabilize.

[DRUID LEVEL 1](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/spell-lists-and-domains/spell-lists---druid#p1) [4/Day Prepared] Save DC 14  
+++CURE LIGHT WOUNDS – Cures 1d8 damage +1/level (max +5).  
+ENTANGLE - Plants entangle everyone in 40-ft. radius.

[DRUID LEVEL 2](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/spell-lists-and-domains/spell-lists---druid#p2) [4/Day Prepared] Save DC 15  
++FOREST FRIEND - Plants in a forested area become helpful instead of hindering you and your allies.  
++WILDERNESS SOLDIERS – Nearby plants aid you in combat.

[DRUID LEVEL 3](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/spell-lists-and-domains/spell-lists---druid#TOC-3rd-Level-Druid-Spells) [3/Day Prepared] Save DC 16  
++CURE MODERATE WOUNDS - Cures 2d8 damage +1/level (max +10).  
+RAIN OF FROGS – Summon a swarm of poisonous frogs.

* * *

KARKAT VANTAS [FIGHTER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/fighter.html#_fighter) ([MOBILE FIGHTER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/fighter.html#_mobile-fighter)) 6  
TRUE NEUTRAL

TL:DR – Karkat is harder to slow down, and he causes more damage hitting with his off-hand than most people. His equipment has had a general upgrade.

[ ](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/uyfpjnavu74a446/Karkat%20Vantas.png?dl=0)

BASIC STATISTICS  
GENDER: Male  
HAIR/EYES: White hair, red eyes  
HOMELAND: City of Golgesi (The Shanties)  
DEITY: The Knight of Blood  
LANGUAGES: Undercommon, High Elven, Drow Sign Language  
RACE: Drow (Dark Elf)

ATTRIBUTES  
STRENGTH: 14[+2]  
DEXTERITY: 17[+3]  
CONSTITUTION: 11[+0]  
INTELLIGENCE: 13[+1]  
WISDOM: 8[-1]  
CHARISMA: 12[+1]

HIT POINTS: 39/39  
HERO POINTS: 4/5  
INITIATIVE: +3  
BASE SPEED/S: 30ft (land)

ARMOUR CLASS [AC]: 19  
TOUCH AC: 14  
FLAT-FOOTED AC: 15

BASE ATTACK BONUS [BAB]: +6/+1  
BASIC MELEE ATTACK: +8/+3  
BASIC RANGED ATTACK: +9/+4  
COMBAT MANEUVER BONUS [CMB]: +8/+3 (+10/+5 for Tripping)  
COMBAT MANEUVER DEFENCE [CMD]: 21 (23 for Tripping)

SAVES  
FORTITUDE: +4  
REFLEX: +4  
WILL: +0  
+2 vs effects that cause paralysis, slowing, or entanglement

[WEAPONS/ATTACKS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_weapon-descriptions)  
**_+1 ATTACK AND DAMAGE WHEN AT LEAST 5 FEET MOVED PRIOR TO ATTACKING._**  
[DUAL +1 SICKLES](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_sickle) – Two attacks a round at a reduced attack bonus, or one attack a round at normal attack bonus. This is a [trip](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/equipment.html#_trip) weapon.  
[DAGGER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_dagger) \- Can be thrown, range 10ft.

EQUIPMENT - [CARRYING CAPACITY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/additionalRules.html#_carrying-capacity) (STR 15)

EQUIPMENT - ITEM SLOTS  
CLOTHING: TRAVELLER'S OUTFIT  
This set of clothes consists of boots, a wool skirt or breeches, a sturdy belt, a shirt (perhaps with a vest or jacket), and an ample coat with a hood.

ARMOUR: +1 MITHRAL CHAIN SHIRT  
+4 armour bonus, +7 max DEX bonus, -0 Armour Check Penalty, 10% Arcane Spell Failure Chance, LIGHT  
SPECIAL: An item made from mithral weighs half as much as the same item made from other metals.

EQUIPMENT - POSSESSIONS  
Sickle [x2] 4lbs, +1 Mithral Chain Shirt 12.5lbs, Dagger 1lb, Waterskin 4lbs

>BACKPACK, MASTERWORK 4lbs (Capacity 60lbs, +1 STR to carry loads)  
Bedroll 5lbs, Blanket (Common) 1lb, Rations (Trail) [x16] 16lb, Compass 0.5lbs, Karkat's Tattered Journal 3lbs, Spider's Silk Rope 50ft 4lbs

>POUCH, BELT 0.5lbs (Capacity 10lbs)  
Flint and Steel, Charcoal Stick [x1], Whetstone 1lb, Potion of Remove Curse [x1], Potion of Cure Light Wounds [x1], Potion of Cure Moderate Wounds [x5], Impact Foam [x1] 1lb

TOTAL 44lbs (9.5lbs without backpack)

EQUIPMENT - MONEY  
0CP, 0SP, 500GP, 0PP  
OTHER:

SKILLS  
TRAINED  
ACROBATICS +7(4)*, +CLIMB +6(1)*, DIPLOMACY +2 (1), +INTIMIDATE +7(3), KNOWLEDGE(LOCAL) +3(3), PERCEPTION +5(4), SENSE MOTIVE +5(6)

UNTRAINED  
APPRAISE +0, BLUFF +1, +CRAFT +0, DISGUISE +1, ESCAPE ARTIST +3*, HEAL -1, PERFORM +1, +RIDE +3*, STEALTH +3*, +SURVIVAL -1, +SWIM +2*  
(FLY +3*)

*Armour Check Penalty: Skill at –0 due to armour worn.  
+Class Skill

FEATS  
[COMBAT REFLEXES](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_combat-reflexes)  
The character can make additional attacks of opportunity.

[DODGE [REQUIRES: DEX 13]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_dodge)   
The character's training and reflexes allow him to react swiftly to avoid an opponents' attacks.

[IMPROVED TRIP [REQUIRES: INT 13, COMBAT EXPERTISE]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_improved-trip)   
The character is good at sending his opponents to the ground.

[RACIAL ABILITIES: DROW](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advancedRaceGuide/featuredRaces/drow.html#_drow-racial-traits)  
[DANCING LIGHTS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/dancingLights.html#_dancing-lights) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Drow can create up to four illusory lights and direct their motion.  
[DARKNESS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/darkness.html#_darkness) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Drow can touch an object and cause it to radiate a deep darkness that dims even magical light.  
[FAERIE FIRE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/faerieFire.html#_faerie-fire) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Drow can cause a person to glow with a pale fire that clings to them even if they are not otherwise visible.  
LANGUAGES - Drow begin play speaking Undercommon and High Elven. Drow with high Intelligence can choose bonus languages from the following: Common, Dark Folk, Draconic, Drow Sign Language, Dwarven, Gnome, Goblin or Infernal.

SPECIAL ABILITIES  
GODMARKED  
[HERO’S FORTUNE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/advancedNewRules.html#_hero's-fortune) \- Even at the start of his career, it was clear that the character had a chance at greatness, and his legend continues to grow with every adventure.  
[INSPIRING COMMAND](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/cleric.html#_inspiring-command) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] – The character can issue an inspiring command to his allies, improving their accuracy, defence, and focus for a short time.  
[ALARM](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/alarm.html#_alarm) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (2 USES/DAY) - Alarm creates a subtle ward on a selected area.  
[SHIELD OTHER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/shieldOther.html#_shield-other) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) - The character takes half the damage dealt to their target.

CLASS FEATURES  
WEAPON AND ARMOUR PROFICIENCY: FIGHTER  
A fighter is proficient with all simple and martial weapons and with all armour (heavy, light, and medium) and shields (including tower shields).

FEAT: [TWO-WEAPON FIGHTING [REQUIRES: DEX 15]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_two-weapon-fighting)  
The fighter can fight with a weapon wielded in each of his hands. He can make one extra attack each round with the secondary weapon.

FEAT: [WEAPON FOCUS (SICKLE) [REQUIRES: WEAPON PROFICIENCY, BAB +1]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_weapon-focus)  
The fighter gains a bonus on all attack rolls he makes using the selected weapon.

FEAT: [COMBAT EXPERTISE [REQUIRES: INT 13]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_combat-expertise)  
The fighter can increase his defence at the expense of his accuracy.

[AGILITY (+2)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/fighter.html#_agility) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
At 2nd level, the mobile fighter gains a bonus on saving throws made against effects that cause him to become paralysed, slowed, or entangled.

[ARMOUR TRAINING [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/fighter.html#_armor-training)   
At 3rd level, the fighter learns to be more manoeuvrable in armour and is less encumbered by heavier armour.

[LEAPING ATTACK [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/fighter.html#_armor-training)   
At 5th level, the mobile fighter becomes more dangerous when they keep moving in combat.

FEAT: [DOUBLE SLICE [REQUIRES: DEX 15, TWO-WEAPON FIGHTING]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_double-slice)  
The fighter's off-hand weapon while dual-wielding strikes with greater power.

* * *

GAMZEE MAKARA [BARBARIAN](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/barbarian.html#_barbarian) 6  
CHAOTIC NEUTRAL

TL:DR – Gamzee this level gets to use the feat he took last level- which lets him intimidate people when he Power Attacks them. He also now has a power that makes him pretty resistant to lawful beings and some nice new armour. Because he really needed to be _more_ dangerous. *rolls eyes*

[ ](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/byz32hnlvct9z55/Gamzee%20Makara.png?dl=0)

BASIC STATISTICS  
GENDER: Male  
HAIR/EYES: White hair, purple eyes  
HOMELAND: City of Golgesi (House Kutsanmis Enclave)  
DEITY: The Bard of Rage  
LANGUAGES: Undercommon, High Elven  
RACE: Drow (Dark Elf)

ATTRIBUTES  
STRENGTH: 14[+2] (18[+4])  
DEXTERITY: 15[+2]  
CONSTITUTION: 14[+2] (18[+4])  
INTELLIGENCE: 8[-1]  
WISDOM: 12[+1]  
CHARISMA: 12[+1]

HIT POINTS: 57(69)/57(69)  
HERO POINTS: 3/3  
INITIATIVE: +2  
BASE SPEED/S: 40ft (land)

ARMOUR CLASS [AC]: 18(16) [+1 VS TRAPS]  
TOUCH AC: 12(10)  
FLAT-FOOTED AC: 16(14)

WHILE RAGING: +1 deflection bonus to AC against the attacks of lawful creatures.

BASE ATTACK BONUS [BAB]: +6/+1  
BASIC MELEE ATTACK: +8/+3 (+10/+5)  
BASIC RANGED ATTACK: +8/+3  
COMBAT MANEUVER BONUS [CMB]: +8/+3 (+10/+5)  
COMBAT MANEUVER DEFENCE [CMD]: 20(22)

SAVES  
FORTITUDE: +7(8)  
REFLEX: +4 [+1 VS TRAPS]  
WILL: +5(7)  
+2 bonus on Reflex saves made to avoid traps and a +2 dodge bonus to Armor Class against attacks made by traps.  
WHILE RAGING: +1 resistance bonus on saving throws against confusion, insanity, polymorph, and effects with the lawful descriptor.

[WEAPONS/ATTACKS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_weapon-descriptions)  
[WARHAMMER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_warhammer)  
[IMPROVISED WEAPONS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/equipment.html#_improvised-weapons) – Attack as per basic ranged or melee attack, and damage as per closest match on the weapon list. There is a +1 circumstance bonus to attack rolls for improvised splash weapons.

EQUIPMENT - [CARRYING CAPACITY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/additionalRules.html#_carrying-capacity) (STR 14/18)

EQUIPMENT - ITEM SLOTS  
CLOTHING: TRAVELLER'S OUTFIT  
This set of clothes consists of boots, wool breeches, a sturdy belt, a shirt (perhaps with a vest or jacket), and an ample coat with a hood.

ARMOUR: +3 STUDDED LEATHER ARMOUR  
+6 armour bonus, +5 max DEX bonus, -0 Armour Check Penalty, 15% Arcane Spell Failure Chance, LIGHT

EQUIPMENT - POSSESSIONS  
+3 Studded Leather Armour 20lbs, Warhammer 5lbs, Waterskin 4lbs

>[HANDY HAVERSACK](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/magicItems/wondrousItems.html#_handy-haversack) 5lbs (Extradimensional Space, Capacity 80lbs+20lbs+20lbs)  
Tent (Pavilion, 10 people) 50lbs, Rations (Trail) [x20] 20lb  
Bedroll 5lbs, Blanket (Common) 1lb  
Kit (Cooking) 2lbs, Kit (Mess) 1lb, Kit (Gear Maintenance) 2lbs, Kit (Grooming) 2lbs, Kit (Entertainer’s) 3lbs, Meditation Tea [x3]

>POUCH, BELT 0.5lbs (Capacity 10lbs)  
Potion of Cure Light Wounds [x4], Flint and Steel, [Waterproof War Paint Kit](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic-items/3rd-party-magic-items/3rd-party-wondrous-items/4-winds-fantasy-gaming/waterproof-war-paint-kit) 1lb [10 uses] 

TOTAL 15.5lbs (70lbs+6lbs+10lbs in EDS) 

EQUIPMENT - MONEY  
0CP, 8SP, 501GP, 0PP  
OTHER:  


SKILLS  
TRAINED  
+ACROBATICS +7(2)*, BLUFF +4(3), +CRAFT(COOKING) +3(1), +INTIMIDATE +10(6), PERFORM(CHILL RHYMES) +4(3), STEALTH +8(6)*

UNTRAINED  
APPRAISE -1, +CLIMB +2*, +CRAFT +0, DIPLOMACY +1, DISGUISE +1, ESCAPE ARTIST +2*, HEAL +1, +PERCEPTION +1, PERFORM +1, +RIDE +2*, SENSE MOTIVE +1, STEALTH +2*, +SURVIVAL +1, +SWIM +2*  
(FLY +2*)

*Armour Check Penalty: Skill at –0 due to armour worn  
+Class Skill

FEATS  
[THROW ANYTHING](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_throw-anything)  
The character is used to throwing things he has on hand.

[POWER ATTACK [REQUIRES: STR 13, BAB+1]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_power-attack)   
The character can make exceptionally deadly melee attacks by sacrificing accuracy for strength.

[CORNUGON SMASH [REQUIRES: POWER ATTACK, INTIMIDATE 6 RANKS]](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/feats/combat-feats/cornugon-smash-combat)   
Taken at level 5, unlocked at level 6. When the character damages an opponent with a Power Attack, he may make an immediate Intimidate check as a free action to attempt to demoralize his opponent.

[RACIAL ABILITIES: DROW](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advancedRaceGuide/featuredRaces/drow.html#_drow-racial-traits)  
[DANCING LIGHTS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/dancingLights.html#_dancing-lights) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Drow can create up to four illusory lights and direct their motion.  
[DARKNESS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/darkness.html#_darkness) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Drow can touch an object and cause it to radiate a deep darkness that dims even magical light.  
[FAERIE FIRE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/faerieFire.html#_faerie-fire) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Drow can cause a person to glow with a pale fire that clings to them even if they are not otherwise visible.  
LANGUAGES - Drow begin play speaking Undercommon and High Elven. Drow with high Intelligence can choose bonus languages from the following: Common, Dark Folk, Draconic, Drow Sign Language, Dwarven, Gnome, Goblin or Infernal.

SPECIAL ABILITIES  
GODMARKED  
CATCH OFF-GUARD: Foes are surprised by the character’s skilled use of unorthodox and improvised weapons.  
[DESTRUCTIVE SMITE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/cleric.html#_destruction-domain) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (4 USES/DAY)– The character can do more damage on a single melee attack, dependent on his character level.  
[ENLARGE PERSON](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/enlargePerson.html#_enlarge-person) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (2 USES/DAY) - This power causes instant growth of a humanoid creature, doubling its height and multiplying its weight by 8.  
[BULL'S STRENGTH](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/bullSStrength.html#_bull-s-strength) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) - The character gains +4 Strength for 1 minute/level.

CLASS FEATURES  
WEAPON AND ARMOUR PROFICIENCY: BARBARIAN  
A barbarian is proficient with all simple and martial weapons, light armour, medium armour and shields (except tower shields).

FAST MOVEMENT [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
A barbarian can move faster than other members of his race, so long as he is not heavily burdened.

[RAGE](paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/barbarian.html#_rage) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY] (16 ROUNDS/DAY)  
A barbarian can call on inner reserves of strength and ferocity, granting him additional combat prowess for a while but exhausting him when spent.

RAGE POWERS  
[INTIMIDATING GLARE [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/barbarian.html#_rage-powers-intimidating-glare)  
While raging, the barbarian can make an Intimidate check against one adjacent foe and attempt to leave them shaken.  
[NO ESCAPE [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/barbarian.html#_rage-powers-no-escape)  
Once per rage, the barbarian can move up to double his normal speed as an immediate action but he can only use this ability when an adjacent foe uses a withdraw action to move away from him.  
[LESSER CHAOS TOTEM [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/barbarian.html#_chaos-totem,-lesser)  
While raging, the barbarian gains a +1 deflection bonus to AC against the attacks of lawful creatures and a +1 resistance bonus on saving throws against confusion, insanity, polymorph, and effects with the lawful descriptor.

[UNCANNY DODGE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/barbarian.html#_uncanny-dodge-barbarian) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
At 2nd level, the barbarian gains the ability to react to danger before his senses would normally allow him to do so.

[TRAP SENSE (+2) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/barbarian.html#_trap-sense-barbarian)   
At 3rd level, the barbarian becomes adept at avoiding traps.

[IMPROVED UNCANNY DODGE [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/barbarian.html#_improved-uncanny-dodge-barbarian)   
At 5th level, the barbarian can no longer be flanked or sneak attacked except by a truly skillful rogue.

* * *

TEREZI PYROPE [INQUISITOR](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/baseClasses/inquisitor.html) 6  
LAWFUL NEUTRAL

TL:DR – Terezi has cool new dragonscale armour and her swordcane is now magical. She has a new spell that lets her create a Zone of Truth and can switch places with her allies in a melee.

[ ](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/tkkwrfiwb5efh6r/Terezi%20Pyrope.png?dl=0)

BASIC STATISTICS  
GENDER: Female  
HAIR/EYES: White hair, teal eyes  
HOMELAND: City of Golgesi (Temple Spire)  
DEITY: The Seer of Mind  
LANGUAGES: Undercommon, High Elven, Infernal  
RACE: Drow (Dark Elf)

ATTRIBUTES  
STRENGTH: 10[+0]  
DEXTERITY: 15[+2]  
CONSTITUTION: 12[+1]  
INTELLIGENCE: 12[+1]  
WISDOM: 16[+3]  
CHARISMA: 10[+0]

HIT POINTS: 40/40  
HERO POINTS: 4/5  
INITIATIVE: +5  
BASE SPEED/S: 30ft (land)

ARMOUR CLASS [AC]: 19  
TOUCH AC: 12  
FLAT-FOOTED AC: 17

BASE ATTACK BONUS [BAB]: +4  
BASIC MELEE ATTACK: +4  
BASIC RANGED ATTACK: +6  
COMBAT MANEUVER BONUS [CMB]: +4  
COMBAT MANEUVER DEFENCE [CMD]: 16

SAVES  
FORTITUDE: +6  
REFLEX: +4  
WILL: +8

[WEAPONS/ATTACKS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_weapon-descriptions)  
**_+2 TO ATTACK AND +2D6 DAMAGE WHEN USING THE BANE ABILITY._**  
INCORRUPTIBLE (+1 [IMPERVIOUS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/magicArmsAndArmor/weaponSpecialAbilities.html#_impervious)[SILVERSHEEN](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/equipment---final/special-materials#TOC-Silversheen) [SWORD CANE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/advancedGear.html#_sword-cane)) - A more accurate but less damaging weapon, warded from damage and decay.  
[SWORD CANE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/advancedGear.html#_sword-cane) \- The blade is well-concealed in the cane.  
[CROSSBOW, LIGHT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_light-crossbow) – 20 ammunition  
[DAGGER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_dagger) \- Can be thrown, range 10ft.

EQUIPMENT - [CARRYING CAPACITY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/additionalRules.html#_carrying-capacity) (STR 10)

EQUIPMENT - ITEM SLOTS  
CLOTHING: EXPLORER'S OUTFIT  
This set of clothes is for someone who never knows what to expect. It includes sturdy boots, leather breeches, a belt, a shirt, gloves and a cloak. The clothes have plenty of pockets (especially the cloak). The outfit also includes any extra accessories the character might need, such as a scarf or a wide-brimmed hat.

ARMOUR: +2 [BLUE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/monsters/dragon.html#_chromatic-dragon-blue) [DRAGONHIDE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/materials.html#_dragonhide) SCALE ARMOUR (ARMOURED COAT OVER THE TOP HAS NO EFFECT)  
+7 armour bonus, +3 max DEX bonus, -3 Armour Check Penalty, 25% Arcane Spell Failure Chance, MEDIUM  
SPECIAL: Armorsmiths can work with the hides of dragons to produce armour or shields of masterwork quality.

EQUIPMENT - POSSESSIONS  
Incorruptible (+1 Impervious Silversheen Sword Cane) 4lbs, Crossbow (Light) 4lbs, Bolts (Crossbow) [x40] 4lb, +2 Blue Dragonhide Scale Armor 30lbs, Armoured Coat 20lbs, Eyeglasses, Holy Symbol (Copper) 0.5lb, Dagger 1lb, Waterskin 4lbs

>HANDY HAVERSACK 5lbs (Extradimensional Space, Capacity 80lbs+20lbs+20lbs)  
Bedroll 5lb, Blanket (Common) 1lb, Rope (Hemp) [50ft] 10lbs, Sword Cane 4lbs, Manacles 2lbs

>POUCH, BELT 0.5lbs (Capacity 10lbs)  
Flint and Steel, Whetstone 1lb, Bandages of Rapid Recovery 1lb, Potion of Cure Light Wounds [x1], Wound Paste [x3] 0.5lbs, Charcoal Stick [x1], Page of Karkat's Journal, Potion of Cure Moderate Wounds [x5]

TOTAL 33lbs (16lbs+0lbs+0lbs in EDS)

EQUIPMENT - MONEY  
8CP, 9SP, 503GP, 0PP  
OTHER:

SKILLS  
TRAINED  
+BLUFF +9(6), +DIPLOMACY +9(6), +INTIMIDATE +11(6), +KNOWLEDGE DUNGEONEERING +9(5), +KNOWLEDGE LOCAL +6(2), +KNOWLEDGE RELIGION +9(5), +PERCEPTION +12(6), +PROFESSION(GOLGESI LAWKEEPER) +8(2), +SENSE MOTIVE +14(6)

UNTRAINED  
ACROBATICS +2*, APPRAISE +1, +CLIMB +0*, +CRAFT +1, +DISGUISE +0, ESCAPE ARTIST +2*, +HEAL +3, PERFORM +0, +RIDE +2*, STEALTH +2*, SURVIVAL +3, SWIM +0*  
(FLY +2*)

*Armour Check Penalty: Skill at –3 due to armour worn.  
+Class Skill

FEATS  
[BLIND-FIGHT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_blind-fight%0A)  
The character is skilled at attacking opponents that she cannot clearly perceive.

[JUDGMENT SURGE [REQUIRES: JUDGMENT CLASS FEATURE]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/ultimateMagicFeats.html#_judgment-surge) (1 USE/DAY)  
Once per day, the power of the character's faith surges, further empowering her judgements.

[WEAPON FOCUS: (SWORD CANE) [REQUIRES: WEAPON PROFICIENCY, BAB +1]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_weapon-focus) (1 USE/DAY)  
The character gains a +1 bonus on all attack rolls she makes using the selected weapon.

[RACIAL ABILITIES: DROW](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advancedRaceGuide/featuredRaces/drow.html#_drow-racial-traits)  
[DANCING LIGHTS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/dancingLights.html#_dancing-lights) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Drow can create up to four illusory lights and direct their motion.  
[DARKNESS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/darkness.html#_darkness) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Drow can touch an object and cause it to radiate a deep darkness that dims even magical light.  
[FAERIE FIRE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/faerieFire.html#_faerie-fire) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Drow can cause a person to glow with a pale fire that clings to them even if they are not otherwise visible.  
LANGUAGES - Drow begin play speaking Undercommon and High Elven. Drow with high Intelligence can choose bonus languages from the following: Common, Dark Folk, Draconic, Drow Sign Language, Dwarven, Gnome, Goblin or Infernal.

SPECIAL ABILITIES  
GODMARKED  
[HERO’S FORTUNE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/advancedNewRules.html#_hero's-fortune) \- Even at the start of her career, it was clear that the character had a chance at greatness, and her legend continues to grow with every adventure.  
[LORE KEEPER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/cleric.html#_knowledge-domain) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] – The character can touch a creature to learn about its abilities and weaknesses.  
EXTRA – The character treats all Knowledge skills as class skills.  
[DISGUISE SELF](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/disguiseSelf.html#_disguise-self) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (2 USES/DAY) - The character's appearance changes— potentially including clothing, armor, weapons, and equipment. She cannot change her creature type, but otherwise the extent of the apparent change is up to her.  
[MIRROR IMAGE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/mirrorImage.html#_mirror-image) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) - The character can create decoy duplicates of herself.

CLASS FEATURES  
WEAPON AND ARMOUR PROFICIENCY: INQUISITOR  
An inquisitor is proficient with all simple weapons, plus the hand crossbow, longbow, repeating crossbow, shortbow, and the favoured weapon of her deity (THE SEER OF MIND favours the SWORD CANE). She is also proficient with light armour, medium armour, and shields (except tower shields).

DOMAIN: [INQUISITION (Justice)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spellcastingClassOptions/inquisitor.html#_justice-inquisition)  
JUDICIOUS FORCE [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (3 USES/DAY)  
The inquisitor or an ally next to her has a better chance of doing a massively damaging strike to their foe.

[JUDGEMENT](paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/baseClasses/inquisitor.html#_judgment) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (2 USES/DAY)  
The inquisitor can gain one of several abilities for a combat, so long as she is able to participate in the action. She can also switch which ability she is using partway through.

MONSTER LORE [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
The inquisitor is skilled at identifying the abilities and weaknesses of creatures.

STERN GAZE [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
Inquisitors are skilled at sensing deception and intimidating their foes.

[DETECT ALIGNMENT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/baseClasses/inquisitor.html#_detect-alignment) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY]  
At will, the inquisitor can use _detect chaos, detect evil, detect good_ or _detect law._ She can only use one of these at any given time.

[TRACK](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/baseClasses/inquisitor.html#_track) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
At 2nd level, the inquisitor adds half her level on Survival skill checks made to follow or identify tracks.

[SOLO TACTICS [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/baseClasses/inquisitor.html#_solo-tactics)   
At 3rd level, the Inquisitor can make use of her teamwork feats as if her allies had the same feats as she did, although only she can reap the benefits.

[TEAMWORK FEAT: LOOKOUT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/advancedFeats.html#_lookout)   
The inquisitor's allies help her avoid being surprised.

[BANE [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/baseClasses/inquisitor.html#_bane) (5 ROUNDS/DAY)  
At 5th level, an inquisitor can imbue one of her weapons with the bane weapon special ability as a swift action, doing far more damage against [the chosen type of creature.](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/magicItems/weapons.html#_weapons-bane)

[DISCERN LIES [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] ](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/baseClasses/inquisitor.html#_discern-lies) (5 ROUNDS/DAY)  
At 5th level, an inquisitor can discern lies, [as per the spell](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/discernLies.html#_discern-lies), for a number of rounds per day equal to her inquisitor level.

[TEAMWORK FEAT: SWAP PLACES](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/advancedFeats.html#_swap-places)   
The inquisitor is skilled at changing places with her allies during a chaotic melee.

SPELLS  
LEVEL 0 [At Will] Save DC 13  
[BRAND](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/spells/brand.html#_brand), [DAZE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/daze.html#_daze), [DETECT MAGIC](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/detectMagic.html#_detect-magic), [DETECT POISON](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/detectPoison.html#_detect-poison), [SIFT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/spells/sift.html#_sift), [STABILIZE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/stabilize.html#_stabilize)

LEVEL 1 [5/Day] Save DC 14  
[COMPREHEND LANGUAGES](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/comprehendLanguages.html#_comprehend-languages), [CURE LIGHT WOUNDS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/cureLightWounds.html#_cure-light-wounds), [DIVINE FAVOUR](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/divineFavor.html#_divine-favor), [PERSUASIVE GOAD](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spells/persuasiveGoad.html#_persuasive-goad)

LEVEL 2 [4/Day] Save DC 15  
[BLOODHOUND](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/spells/bloodhound.html#_bloodhound), [CONFESS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/spells/confess.html#_confess), [SEE INVISIBILITY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/seeInvisibility.html#_see-invisibility), [ZONE OF TRUTH](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/zoneOfTruth.html#_zone-of-truth)

* * *

SOLLUX CAPTOR [SORCERER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/sorcerer.html#_sorcerer) \- [ARCANE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/sorcerer.html#_arcane) ([SAGE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spellcastingClassOptions/sorcerer.html#_sage))/[DESTINED](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/sorcerer.html#_destined) ([KARMIC](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spellcastingClassOptions/sorcerer.html#_karmic)) ([CROSSBLOODED](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spellcastingClassOptions/sorcerer.html#_crossblooded-\(archetype\)) [WORDCASTER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/ultimateMagicWordsOfPower.html)) 6  
CHAOTIC NEUTRAL

TL:DR – Sollux now has third level spellcasting, which allows him to cast more powerful wordspells.

[](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/kgu19nfbaxeezfh/Sollux%20Captor.png?dl=0)

BASIC STATISTICS  
GENDER: Male  
HAIR/EYES: White hair, one red and one blue eye  
HOMELAND: The Greenweald Forest Region (No Fixed Abode)  
DEITY: The Mage of Doom  
LANGUAGES: Common, High Elven, Orc, Infernal, Undercommon  
RACE: Halfbreed (Drow/Tiefling)

ATTRIBUTES  
STRENGTH: 12[+1]  
DEXTERITY: 14[+2]  
CONSTITUTION: 13[+1]  
INTELLIGENCE: 18[+4]  
WISDOM: 8[-1]  
CHARISMA: 10[+0]

HIT POINTS: 33/33  
HERO POINTS: 3/3  
INITIATIVE: +6  
BASE SPEED/S: 30ft (land)

ARMOUR CLASS [AC]: 15  
TOUCH AC: 12  
FLAT-FOOTED AC: 13

BASE ATTACK BONUS [BAB]: +3  
BASIC MELEE ATTACK: +4  
BASIC RANGED ATTACK: +5  
COMBAT MANEUVER BONUS [CMB]: +4  
COMBAT MANEUVER DEFENCE [CMD]: 16

SAVES  
FORTITUDE: +3  
REFLEX: +4  
WILL: +4

[WEAPONS/ATTACKS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_weapon-descriptions)  
[SHURIKEN](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_shuriken) \- 5 Ammunition

EQUIPMENT - [CARRYING CAPACITY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/additionalRules.html#_carrying-capacity) (STR 12)

EQUIPMENT - ITEM SLOTS  
CLOTHING: EXPLORER'S OUTFIT  
This set of clothes is for someone who never knows what to expect. It includes sturdy boots, leather breeches, a belt, a shirt with a jacket, gloves and a cloak. The clothes have plenty of pockets (especially the cloak). The outfit also includes any extra accessories the character might need, such as a scarf or a wide-brimmed hat.

NECK: HAUNTED BROKEN AMULET OF THE LABYRINTH (SIR WILLIAM COSBIE)  
Effect Unknown

WRISTS: [BRACERS OF ARMOUR +3](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/magicItems/wondrousItems.html#_bracers-of-armor)  
These items appear to be wrist or arm guards. They surround the wearer with an invisible but tangible field of force, granting him an armour bonus of +1, just as though he were wearing armour. Both bracers must be worn for the magic to be effective.

EQUIPMENT - POSSESSIONS  
Shuriken [x5] 0.5lb, Bracers of Armour +3 1lb, Eyeglasses, Haunted Broken Amulet of the Labyrinth

>[BAG OF HOLDING, TYPE 1](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/magicItems/wondrousItems.html#_bag-of-holding) 15lbs (Capacity 250lbs)  
Tent (Medium, 2 people) 30lbs, Bedroll [x2] 10lbs, Blanket (Common) [x2] 2lb, Mysterious Journal 3lbs, Potion of Cure Moderate Wounds [x5]

TOTAL 16.5lbs (45lbs in EDS)

EQUIPMENT - MONEY  
0CP, 8SP, 508GP, 0PP  
OTHER:

SKILLS  
TRAINED  
APPRAISE +10(6), +KNOWLEDGE ARCANA +15(6), +KNOWLEDGE DUNGEONEERING +13(6), +KNOWLEDGE HISTORY +12(5), +SPELLCRAFT +15(6), +USE MAGIC DEVICE +10(6)

UNTRAINED  
+ACROBATICS +2*, +BLUFF -1, CLIMB +1*, +CRAFT +3, DIPLOMACY +0, DISGUISE +0, ESCAPE ARTIST +2*, HEAL -1, +INTIMIDATE +0, PERCEPTION -1, PERFORM +0, RIDE +2*, SENSE MOTIVE +0, STEALTH +0*, SURVIVAL -1, SWIM +1*  
(+FLY +2*)

*Armour Check Penalty: Skill at –0 due to armour worn.  
+Class Skill

FEATS  
EXTRA WORD [CASTER LEVEL 1ST IN BARD, ORACLE OR SORCERER]   
The character has uncovered a new word of power.

[COMBAT CASTING](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_combat-casting)   
The character is adept at spellcasting when threatened or distracted.

[IMPROVED INITIATIVE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_improved-initiative)   
The character's quick reflexes allow him to react rapidly to danger.

[RACIAL ABILITIES: HALF-ELF](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advancedRaceGuide/coreRaces/halfElves.html#_half-elf-racial-traits) ([ALTERNATE RACIAL TRAITS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advancedRaceGuide/coreRaces/halfElves.html#_alternate-racial-traits))  
ATTRIBUTE SHIFT - +2 Intelligence.  
DROW-BLOODED – Replaces Low-Light Vision.  
ELVEN IMMUNITIES.  
MIXED BLOOD – The character counts as both Drow and Tiefling for any effect related to race. Replaces Elf Blood.  
WARY – Replaces Keen Senses.  
DUAL MINDED – Replaces Adaptability.  
ARCANE TRAINING – Replaces Multitalented.  
LANGUAGES – Halfbreeds begin play speaking Common and High Elven. Halfbreeds with high Intelligence scores can choose any language as a bonus language (except secret languages, such as Druidic).

SPECIAL ABILITIES  
GODMARKED  
WEAPON PROFICIENCY (SHURIKEN)  
[ARCANE BEACON](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/cleric.html#_arcane-beacon) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (3 USES/DAY) – The character can emanate an aura that makes spells cast near him more powerful and harder to resist.  
[BANE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/bane.html#_bane) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (2 USES/DAY) - Bane fills enemies with fear and doubt, and counters and dispels Bless.  
[AID](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/aid.html#_aid) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Aid grants a bonus to attacks and saves, and makes the target temporarily harder to kill.

CLASS FEATURES  
WEAPON AND ARMOUR PROFICIENCY: SORCERER  
Sorcerers are proficient with all simple weapons. They are not proficient with any type of armour or shield. Armour interferes with a sorcerer's gestures, which can cause his spells with somatic components to fail.

FEAT: [ESCHEW MATERIALS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_eschew-materials)  
The character can cast many spells without needing to utilize minor material components.

BLOODLINE: [CROSSBLOODED](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spellcastingClassOptions/sorcerer.html#_crossblooded-%28archetype%29) [SAGE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spellcastingClassOptions/sorcerer.html#_sage)/[KARMIC](paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spellcastingClassOptions/sorcerer.html#_karmic)  
CLASS SKILL: Knowledge (Any One: Dungeoneering) and Knowledge History.  
BLOODLINE ARCANA: Unlike most sorcerers, the character understands and masters his magic through intellect rather than force of personality, and has a better understanding of arcane forces as a result. Additionally, if he fails to cast when under threat, the creature that disrupted his concentration is left vulnerable to attack.  
DRAWBACK: A crossblooded sorcerer has one fewer spell known at each level, and is weaker willed.  
BLOODLINE POWERS:  
1\. ARCANE BOLT [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (7 USES/DAY): The sorcerer can unleash a ray of magical force as an attack, increasing in power dependant on the sorcerer's class level.  
2.[ METAMAGIC ADEPT [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/sorcerer.html#_arcane) (1 USE/DAY): At 3rd level, the Sage Sorcerer can apply metamagic feats to his spells without any reduction in casting speed.

SPELLS: BLOODLINE SPELLS (CAN BE USED INSTEAD OF EQUIVALENT LEVEL WORDSPELL)  
LEVEL 1 – [IDENTIFY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/identify.html#_identify)(Gives a bonus to identifying the properties and command words of magic items in the caster's possession.)  
LEVEL 2 – [BLUR](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/blur.html#_blur)(The target's outline becomes blurred, and they are harder to hit.)  


SPELLS: [WORDS OF POWER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/ultimateMagicWordsOfPower.html#_words-of-power)  
LEVEL 0 [At Will] Save DC 14  
One Effect Word Only (Level 0)

LEVEL 1 [7/Day] Save DC 15  
One Effect Word Only (Level 1 or lower)

LEVEL 2 [6/Day] Save DC 16  
One Effect Word (Level 2 or lower)  
Two Effect Words (Level 0 and Level 0)

LEVEL 3 [4/Day] Save DC 17  
One Effect Word (Level 3 or lower)  
Two Effect Words (Level 1 and Level 1 OR Level 2 and Level 0)  
Three Effect Words (Level 0 and Level 0 and Level 0)

[EFFECT WORDS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/wordsOfPower/effectWords.html)   
[FLAME JET (Fire 0)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/wordsOfPower/effectWords/fireWords.html#_flame-jet-%28fire%29), [SPARK (Electricity 0)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/wordsOfPower/effectWords/electricityWords.html#_spark-%28electricity%29), [LIFT (Gravity 0)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/wordsOfPower/effectWords/gravityWords.html#_lift-%28gravity%29), [FORCE BLOCK (Armor 0)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/wordsOfPower/effectWords/armorWords.html#_force-block-%28armor%29), [DECIPHER (Language 0)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/wordsOfPower/effectWords/languageWords.html#_decipher-%28language%29)  
[BURNING FLASH (Fire 1)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/wordsOfPower/effectWords/fireWords.html#_burning-flash-%28fire%29), [GLIDE (Flight 1)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/spells/glide.html#_glide-), [SHOCK ARC (Electricity 1)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/wordsOfPower/effectWords/electricityWords.html#_shock-arc-%28electricity%29), [FORCE SHIELD (Armor 1)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/wordsOfPower/effectWords/armorWords.html#_force-shield-%28armor%29)  
[SUPPRESS (Dispelling 2)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/wordsOfPower/effectWords/dispellingWords.html#_suppress-%28dispelling%29)

[TARGET WORDS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/wordsOfPower/targetWords.html)   
CONE (Target 0), PERSONAL (Target 0), SELECTED (Target 0)  
BURST (Target 1), LINE (Target 1)  
BARRIER (Target 3)

[META WORDS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/wordsOfPower/metaWords.html)   
(NOTE: META WORDS CAN ONLY BE USED ½ WORDCASTER LEVEL TIMES PER DAY)  
BOOST (Meta 0), DISTANT (Meta 0)

* * *

ARADIA MEGIDO [SORCERER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/sorcerer.html#_sorcerer) \- [DREAMSPUN](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/sorcerer.html#_dreamspun) 6  
TRUE NEUTRAL

TL:DR – Aradia also gained third-level spellcasting, and a Ray of Exhaustion to go with it!

[ ](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/7ub9bd7pt8m7sv0/Aradia%20Megido.png?dl=0)

BASIC STATISTICS  
GENDER: Female  
HAIR/EYES: Black hair, red eyes  
HOMELAND: The Greenweald Forest Region (No Fixed Abode)  
DEITY: The Maid of Time  
LANGUAGES: Common, Infernal, Orc, High Elven  
RACE: Tiefling

ATTRIBUTES  
STRENGTH: 8[-1]  
DEXTERITY: 12[+1]  
CONSTITUTION: 12[+1]  
INTELLIGENCE: 15[+2]  
WISDOM: 14[+2]  
CHARISMA: 14[+2] (16[+3])

HIT POINTS: 31/31  
HERO POINTS: 3/3  
INITIATIVE: +6  
BASE SPEED/S: 30ft (land)

ARMOUR CLASS [AC]: 14  
TOUCH AC: 11  
FLAT-FOOTED AC: 13

BASE ATTACK BONUS [BAB]: +3  
BASIC MELEE ATTACK: +2  
BASIC RANGED ATTACK: +4  
COMBAT MANEUVER BONUS [CMB]: +2  
COMBAT MANEUVER DEFENCE [CMD]: 13

SAVES  
FORTITUDE: +3  
REFLEX: +3  
WILL: +7

[WEAPONS/ATTACKS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_weapon-descriptions)  
[WHIP](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_whip) \- This is a [nonlethal](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/equipment.html#_nonlethal), [reach](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/equipment.html#_reach-weapons), [disarm](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/equipment.html#_disarm), [trip](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/equipment.html#_trip) weapon. A whip deals no damage to any creature with an armour bonus of +1 or higher, or a natural armour bonus of +3 or higher. Using a whip provokes an attack of opportunity, just as if the character had used a ranged weapon.

EQUIPMENT - [CARRYING CAPACITY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/additionalRules.html#_carrying-capacity) (STR 8)

EQUIPMENT - ITEM SLOTS  
CLOTHING: EXPLORER'S OUTFIT  
This set of clothes is for someone who never knows what to expect. It includes sturdy boots, leather skirt, a belt, a shirt with a vest, gloves and a cloak. The clothes have plenty of pockets (especially the cloak). The outfit also includes any extra accessories the character might need, such as a scarf or a wide-brimmed hat.

WRISTS: [BRACERS OF ARMOUR +3](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/magicItems/wondrousItems.html#_bracers-of-armor)  
These items appear to be wrist or arm guards. They surround the wearer with an invisible but tangible field of force, granting him an armour bonus of +1, just as though he were wearing armour. Both bracers must be worn for the magic to be effective.

EQUIPMENT - POSSESSIONS  
Whip 2lbs, Bracers of Armour +3 1lb

>[BAG OF HOLDING, TYPE 1](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/magicItems/wondrousItems.html#_bag-of-holding)  
Rope (Silk) [50ft] 5lbs, String/Twine [50ft] 0.5lbs, Sewing Needle, Compass 0.5lbs, Kit (Map Making) [Anyone using this kit to draw a map as they travel receives a +2 circumstance bonus on Survival skill checks to avoid becoming lost] 2lbs, Wayfinder 1lb, Waterskin 4lbs

>POUCH, BELT 0.5lbs (Capacity 10lbs)  
Kit (Cooking) 2lbs, Potion of Cure Moderate Wounds [x5], Dust of Emulation [x1]

TOTAL 19.5lbs (13lbs in EDS)

EQUIPMENT - MONEY  
3CP, 3SP, 534GP, 0PP  
OTHER:

SKILLS  
TRAINED  
+ACROBATICS +5(1)*, CLIMB +2(3)*, KNOWLEDGE DUNGEONEERING +8(6), KNOWLEDGE HISTORY +8(6), SURVIVAL +7(5), SWIM +1(2)* +USE MAGIC DEVICE +10(5)

UNTRAINED  
APPRAISE +2, +BLUFF +2, +CRAFT +2, DIPLOMACY +2, DISGUISE +2, ESCAPE ARTIST +1*, HEAL +2, +INTIMIDATE +2, PERCEPTION +2, PERFORM +1, RIDE +1*, +SENSE MOTIVE +2, STEALTH +1*  
(+FLY +1*)

*Armour Check Penalty: Skill at –0 due to armour worn.  
+Class Skill

FEATS  
[COMBAT CASTING](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_combat-casting)  
The character is adept at spellcasting when threatened or distracted.

[IMPROVED INITIATIVE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_improved-initiative)   
The character's quick reflexes allow her to react rapidly to danger.

[WEAPON FOCUS: (WHIP) [REQUIRES: WEAPON PROFICIENCY, BAB +1]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_weapon-focus)   
The character gains a +1 bonus on all attack rolls she makes using the selected weapon.

[RACIAL ABILITIES: TIEFLING](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advancedRaceGuide/featuredRaces/tieflings.html#_tiefling-racial-traits)  
TIEFLINGS DO NOT COUNT AS OUTSIDERS FOR THE PURPOSE OF THIS SETTING.  
SORCEROUS GIFT - Tiefling sorcerers treat their Charisma score as 2 points higher for all sorcerer class abilities.  
[DARKNESS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/darkness.html#_darkness) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Tieflings can touch an object and cause it to radiate a deep darkness that dims even magical light.  
LANGUAGES - Tieflings begin play speaking Common and either Abyssal or Infernal. Tieflings with high Intelligence scores can choose any of the following bonus languages: Abyssal, Draconic, Dwarven, High Elven, Gnome, Goblin, Halfling, Infernal, and Orc.

SPECIAL ABILITIES  
GODMARKED  
WEAPON PROFICIENCY (WHIP)  
[BINDING TIES](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/cleric.html#_binding-ties) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (5 USES/DAY) – The character can temporarily take the suffering as an ally onto herself, rendering them temporarily immune to the condition for a short time dependent on her character level.  
[DEATHWATCH](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/deathwatch.html#_deathwatch) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY](2 USES/DAY) - The character can determine the condition of creatures near death within the spell's range.  
[ONE TRACK MIND](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/3rd-party-spells/purple-duck-games/one-track-mind) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) - The target repeats their last action over and over again.

CLASS FEATURES  
WEAPON AND ARMOUR PROFICIENCY: SORCERER  
Sorcerers are proficient with all simple weapons. They are not proficient with any type of armour or shield. Armour interferes with a sorcerer's gestures, which can cause her spells with somatic components to fail.

FEAT: [ESCHEW MATERIALS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_eschew-materials)  
The character can cast many spells without needing to utilize minor material components.

BLOODLINE: [DREAMSPUN](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/sorcerer.html#_dreamspun)  
CLASS SKILL: Sense Motive.  
BLOODLINE ARCANA: Whenever the character targets a single creature with a spell, she is briefly better protected against attacks made by that foe.  
BLOODLINE POWERS:  
1\. [ LULLABY [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/lullaby.html#_lullaby) (6 USES/DAY): The character can make another creature drowsy, rendering them less perceptive and more susceptible to sleep magic.  
2.[ COMBAT PRECOGNITION [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/sorcerer.html#_combat-precognition)  
At 3rd level, the sorcerer’s insight into the future makes her faster to react to threats.

SPELLS  
LEVEL 0 [At Will] Save DC 13  
[DETECT MAGIC](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/detectMagic.html#_detect-magic), [GHOST SOUND](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/ghostSound.html#_ghost-sound), [MAGE HAND](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/mageHand.html#_mage-hand), [MESSAGE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/message.html#_message), [OPEN/CLOSE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/openClose.html#_open-close), [PRESTIDIGITATION](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/prestidigitation.html#_prestidigitation), [RAY OF FROST](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/rayOfFrost.html#_ray-of-frost)

LEVEL 1 [7/Day] Save DC 14  
[CHILL TOUCH](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/chillTouch.html#_chill-touch), [HYPNOTISM](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/hypnotism.html#_hypnotism), [MAGIC MISSILE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/magicMissile.html#_magic-missile), [UNSEEN SERVANT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/unseenServant.html#_unseen-servant), [SLEEP](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/sleep.html#_sleep)

LEVEL 2 [6/Day] Save DC 15  
[AUGURY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/augury.html#_augury), [HAUNTING MISTS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spells/hauntingMists.html#_haunting-mists), [LEVITATE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/levitate.html#_levitate)

LEVEL 3 [4/Day] Save DC 16  
[RAY OF EXHAUSTION](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/rayOfExhaustion.html#_ray-of-exhaustion)

* * *

KANAYA MARYAM [CLERIC](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/cleric.html#_cleric) 6  
TRUE NEUTRAL

TL:DR – Kanaya is beefier and has a bit more spellcasting, but this level's big cool thing is an enchantment on her sawtooth sabre that lets her channel energy through it- positive and negative- with eerie grey flame effects.

[ ](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/x61dftcoyacm39k/Kanaya%20Maryam.png?dl=0)

BASIC STATISTICS  
GENDER: Female  
HAIR/EYES: White hair, green eyes  
HOMELAND: City of Golgesi (Temple Spire)/The Greenweald Forest Region (No Fixed Abode)  
DEITY: The Sylph of Space  
LANGUAGES: Undercommon, High Elven  
RACE: Drow (Dark Elf)

ATTRIBUTES  
STRENGTH: 13[+1]  
DEXTERITY: 10[+0]  
CONSTITUTION: 13[+1]  
INTELLIGENCE: 10[+0]  
WISDOM: 15[+2]  
CHARISMA: 14[+2]

HIT POINTS: 37/37  
HERO POINTS: 5/5  
INITIATIVE: +0  
BASE SPEED/S: 30ft (land)

ARMOUR CLASS [AC]: 18  
TOUCH AC: 10  
FLAT-FOOTED AC: 18

BASE ATTACK BONUS [BAB]: +4  
BASIC MELEE ATTACK: +5  
BASIC RANGED ATTACK: +4  
COMBAT MANEUVER BONUS [CMB]: +5  
COMBAT MANEUVER DEFENCE [CMD]: 15

SAVES  
FORTITUDE: +7  
REFLEX: +3  
WILL: +8

[WEAPONS/ATTACKS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_weapon-descriptions)  
[+1 ](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_sawtooth-sabre)[GREYFLAME](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/magicItems/weapons.html#_grayflame) SAWTOOTH SABRE - This weapon counts as “light" for the purposes of two-weapon fighting.  
SPECIAL: A Greyflame weapon responds to channeled positive or negative energy. When the wielder spends a swift action to channel energy through the weapon, it ignites with a strange gray flame that sheds light as a torch, increases the weapon's enhancement bonus by +1, and deals +1d6 damage (as the divine power from flame strike) to creatures struck by the weapon.  
[SHIELD BASH, LIGHT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/equipment.html#_shield-bash-attacks) \- Treat as “light" for the purposes of two-weapon fighting, and lose shield bonus to AC when used as a weapon.  
[DAGGER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_dagger) \- Can be thrown, range 10ft.

EQUIPMENT - [CARRYING CAPACITY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/additionalRules.html#_carrying-capacity) (STR 13)

EQUIPMENT - ITEM SLOTS  
CLOTHING: EXPLORER'S OUTFIT  
This set of clothes is for someone who never knows what to expect. It includes sturdy boots, a leather overtunic over a cloth skirt, a belt, a shirt, gloves and a cloak. The clothes have plenty of pockets (especially the cloak). The outfit also includes any extra accessories the character might need, such as a scarf or a wide-brimmed hat.

ARMOUR: +2 STUDDED LEATHER ARMOUR  
+5 armour bonus, +5 max DEX bonus, -0 Armour Check Penalty, 15% Arcane Spell Failure Chance, LIGHT

SHIELD: +1 LIGHT WOODEN SHIELD  
+2 shield bonus, -0 Armour Check Penalty, 5% Arcane Spell Failure Chance  
SPECIAL: The character can bash an opponent with a light shield. Used this way, a light shield is a martial bludgeoning weapon. For the purpose of penalties on attack rolls, treat a shield as a light weapon. If she uses her shield as a weapon, she loses its AC bonus until her next turn.

SHOULDERS: [CLOAK OF RESISTANCE +1](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/magicItems/wondrousItems.html#_cloak-of-resistance)  
This garment offers magical protection in the form of a +1 resistance bonus on all saving throws.

EQUIPMENT - POSSESSIONS  
Masterwork Sawtooth Sabre 2lbs, +1 Studded Leather Armour 20lbs, +1 Shield (Light Wooden) 5lbs, Cloak of Resistance +1 1lb, Eyeglasses, Holy Symbol (Wooden), Dagger 1lb, Waterskin 4lbs

>HANDY HAVERSACK 5lbs (Extradimensional Space, Capacity 80lbs+20lbs+20lbs)  
Tent (Small, 1 person) 20lbs, Bedroll 5lbs, Blanket (Common) 1lb, Kit (Healer's) [This collection of bandages and herbs provides a +2 circumstance bonus on Heal checks. A healer's kit is exhausted after 10 uses] 1lb, Meditation Tea [x3], Incense of Meditation [x3] 3lbs

>POUCH, BELT 0.5lbs (Capacity 10lbs)  
Flint and Steel, Whetstone 1lb, String/Twine [50ft] 0.5lbs, Sewing Needle  
Rations (Wandermeal) [x8] [Eating this tough, dried cake for over a week without other nutrients causes the eater to feel ill] 4lbs, Potion of Cure Moderate Wounds [x5]

TOTAL 21lbs (32lbs+0lbs+0lbs in EDS)

EQUIPMENT - MONEY  
9CP, 2SP, 13GP, 0PP  
OTHER:

SKILLS  
TRAINED  
+CRAFT(APPAREL) +7(4), +DIPLOMACY +11(6), +HEAL +8(3), +KNOWLEDGE RELIGION +7(4)

UNTRAINED  
ACROBATICS +0*, +APPRAISE +0, BLUFF +2, CLIMB +1*, +CRAFT +0, DISGUISE +2, ESCAPE ARTIST +0*, INTIMIDATE +2, PERCEPTION +2, PERFORM +2, RIDE +0*, +SENSE MOTIVE +2, STEALTH +0*, SURVIVAL +2, SWIM +1*  
(FLY +0*)

*Armour Check Penalty: Skill at –0 due to armour worn.  
+Class Skill

FEATS  
[ SELECTIVE CHANNELING [REQUIRES: CHA 13, CHANNEL ENERGY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_selective-channeling) (CAN EXCLUDE: 2)  
The character can choose whom to affect when she channels energy.

[COMBAT CASTING](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_combat-casting)   
The character is adept at spellcasting when threatened or distracted.

[VERSATILE CHANNELER [REQUIRES: CHANNEL ENERGY, NEUTRAL ALIGNMENT]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/ultimateMagicFeats.html#_versatile-channeler)   
The character can choose to channel positive and negative energy.

[RACIAL ABILITIES: DROW](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advancedRaceGuide/featuredRaces/drow.html#_drow-racial-traits)  
[DANCING LIGHTS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/dancingLights.html#_dancing-lights) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Drow can create up to four illusory lights and direct their motion.  
[DARKNESS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/darkness.html#_darkness) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Drow can touch an object and cause it to radiate a deep darkness that dims even magical light.  
[FAERIE FIRE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/faerieFire.html#_faerie-fire) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Drow can cause a person to glow with a pale fire that clings to them even if they are not otherwise visible.  
LANGUAGES - Drow begin play speaking Undercommon and High Elven. Drow with high Intelligence can choose bonus languages from the following: Common, Dark Folk, Draconic, Drow Sign Language, Dwarven, Gnome, Goblin or Infernal.

SPECIAL ABILITIES  
GODMARKED  
[HERO’S FORTUNE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/advancedNewRules.html#_hero's-fortune) \- Even at the start of her career, it was clear that the character had a chance at greatness, and her legend continues to grow with every adventure.  
[RENEWED STRENGTH](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/classes/core-classes/cleric/domains/3rd-party-publishers---domains/4-winds-fantasy-gaming---domains/renewal-domain) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (5 USES/DAY) – The character can cure her allies of exhaustion, fatigue, sickness and nausea with a touch.  
[LONGSTRIDER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/longstrider.html#_longstrider) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY](2 USES/DAY) - This power gives the character a +10 foot enhancement bonus to her base speed.  
[LOCATE OBJECT ](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/locateObject.html#_locate-object) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) - The character senses the direction towards an object (specific or type).

CLASS FEATURES  
WEAPON AND ARMOUR PROFICIENCY: CLERIC  
Clerics are proficient with all simple weapons, light armour, medium armour, and shields (except tower shields). Clerics are also proficient with the favoured weapon of their deities (THE SYLPH OF SPACE favours the SAWTOOTH SABRE).

[CHANNEL ENERGY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/cleric.html#_channel-energy-cleric) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (5 USES/DAY, DC14, 3D6)  
The cleric can channel positive energy through her holy symbol, choosing to either deal damage to undead creatures or to heal living creatures in a burst of holy power.

SPONTANEOUS CASTING  
The cleric can channel stored spell energy into healing spells that she hasn't prepared ahead of time. She can "lose" any prepared spell that is not an orison or domain spell in order to cast any cure spell of the same spell level or lower.

DOMAINS: [CHARM](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/cleric.html#_charm-domain) ([LOVE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/cleric.html#_love-subdomain)) AND [DEATH](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/cleric.html#_death-domain) ([UNDEAD](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/cleric.html#_undead-subdomain))  
DOMAIN POWERS: ADORATION [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (5 USES/DAY) – The cleric can attempt to thwart a single physical attack against her person.  
DOMAIN POWERS: [DEATH'S KISS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/cleric.html#_death%27s-kiss) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (5 USES/DAY) – The cleric can cause a creature to take on some of the traits of the undead with a touch.

SPELLS  
[CLERIC LEVEL 0](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/spell-lists-and-domains/spell-lists---cleric#p0) [4 Prepared, At Will] Save DC 12  
+MENDING – Makes minor repairs on an object.  
+PURIFY FOOD AND DRINK – Purifies 1 cubic ft/level of food or water.  
+SPARK – Ignites flammable objects.  
+STABILIZE – Cause a dying creature to stabilize.

[CLERIC LEVEL 1](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/spell-lists-and-domains/spell-lists---cleric#p1) [4/Day+1 Prepared] Save DC 13  
DOMAIN SPELLS:  
+CHARM PERSON – Makes one person your friend.  
+CAUSE FEAR – One creature of 5HD or less flees for 1d4 rounds.  
  
+++BLESS – Allies gain +1 on attack rolls and saves against fear.

[CLERIC LEVEL 2](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/spell-lists-and-domains/spell-lists---cleric#p2) [4/Day+1 Prepared] Save DC 14  
DOMAIN SPELLS:  
ENTHRALL - Captivates all within 100 ft. + 10 ft./level.  
++[GHOUL TOUCH](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/ghoulTouch.html#_ghoul-touch) \- Paralyzes one subject, which exudes stench that makes those nearby sickened.  
  
++[BLOOD OF THE MARTYR](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/all-spells/b/blood-of-the-martyr) \- Target bleeds from orifices, enabling other creatures to sup the blood to regain hit points. 1D6/4 levels (max 4d6) damage/healing.  
+CURE MODERATE WOUNDS - Cures 2d8 damage + 1/level (max +10).

[CLERIC LEVEL 3](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/spell-lists-and-domains/spell-lists---cleric#p3) [2/Day+1 Prepared] Save DC 15  
DOMAIN SPELLS:  
+[SUGGESTION](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/suggestion.html#_suggestion) \- Compels a subject to follow stated course of action.  
+[ANIMATE DEAD](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/animateDead.html#_animate-dead) \- Turns corpses into undead skeletons or zombies that obey spoken commands.  
  
+SEARING LIGHT - Ray deals 1d8/two levels damage (more against undead).

* * *

JANE CROCKER [RANGER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/ranger.html#_ranger) ([URBAN RANGER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/ranger.html#_urban-ranger)) 6  
LAWFUL GOOD

TL:DR – Jane now has an iterative attack, and can bash people with her shield while still defending herself with it. Her trident has been infused with the ability to really mess up undead.

[ ](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/md6fpl4wbg6saxy/Jane%20Crocker.png?dl=0)

BASIC STATISTICS  
GENDER: Female  
HAIR/EYES: Black hair, blue eyes  
HOMELAND: City of Porthaven (Outer Ring)  
DEITY: The Maid of Life  
LANGUAGES: Common, High Elven, Celestial, Orc  
RACE: Tuatha (High Elf)

ATTRIBUTES  
STRENGTH: 16[+3]  
DEXTERITY: 15[+2]  
CONSTITUTION: 12[+1]  
INTELLIGENCE: 10[+0]  
WISDOM: 12[+1]  
CHARISMA: 10[+0]

HIT POINTS: 47/47  
HERO POINTS: 3/5  
INITIATIVE: +2  
BASE SPEED/S: 30ft (land)

ARMOUR CLASS [AC]: 21  
TOUCH AC: 12  
FLAT-FOOTED AC: 19

BASE ATTACK BONUS [BAB]: +6/+1  
BASIC MELEE ATTACK: +9/+4  
BASIC RANGED ATTACK: +8/+3  
COMBAT MANEUVER BONUS [CMB]: +9/+4  
COMBAT MANEUVER DEFENCE [CMD]: 21

SAVES  
FORTITUDE: +6  
REFLEX: +7  
WILL: +3

[WEAPONS/ATTACKS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_weapon-descriptions)  
[+1 ](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_trident)[UNDEAD BANE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/magicItems/weapons.html#_weapons-bane) TRIDENT - This is a [brace](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/equipment.html#_brace) weapon. Can be thrown, range 10ft. A bane weapon excels against the specified foes.  
[SHIELD BASH, LIGHT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/equipment.html#_shield-bash-attacks) \- Treat as “light" for the purposes of two-weapon fighting, and lose shield bonus to AC when used as a weapon.  
[DAGGER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_dagger) \- Can be thrown, range 10ft.

EQUIPMENT - [CARRYING CAPACITY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/additionalRules.html#_carrying-capacity) (STR 17)

EQUIPMENT - ITEM SLOTS  
CLOTHING: ARTISAN'S OUTFIT  
This outfit consists of a blouse with buttons, drawstring skirt, shoes, and a neat cloth cap. It also includes a cloth apron for carrying small items such as a money pouch.

ARMOUR: +2 STUDDED LEATHER  
+5 armour bonus, +5 max DEX bonus, 0 Armour Check Penalty, 15% Arcane Spell Failure Chance, LIGHT

SHIELD: LIGHT STEEL SHIELD OF BASHING +1  
+3 shield bonus, -0 Armour Check Penalty, 5% Arcane Spell Failure Chance  
SPECIAL: The character can bash an opponent with a light shield. Used this way, a light shield of bashing is a martial bludgeoning weapon of two size categories larger, and acts as a +1 weapon when used to bash. For the purpose of penalties on attack rolls, treat a shield as a light weapon. If she uses her shield as a weapon, she loses its AC bonus until her next turn.

EQUIPMENT - POSSESSIONS  
Trident 4lbs, +2 Studded Leather 20lbs, Light Steel Shield of Bashing +1 6lbs, Dagger 1lb, Waterskin 4lbs

>BACKPACK, MASTERWORK 4lbs (Capacity 60lbs, +1 STR to carry loads)  
Bedroll 5lbs, Kit (Cooking) 2lbs, Rations (Trail) [x6] 6lb, Parade Armour 20lbs, Elixir of Truth [x1], Elixir of Vision [x1], Shield (Light Steel) 6lbs

>POUCH, BELT 0.5lbs (Capacity 10lbs)  
Flint and Steel, Manacles 2lbs, Map [+1 circumstance bonus on Survival checks made to navigate in the Greenweald Forest region] 2lbs

TOTAL 62.5lbs (19.5lbs without backpack)

EQUIPMENT - MONEY  
0CP, 2SP, 73GP, 0PP  
OTHER:

SKILLS  
TRAINED  
ACROBATICS +7(4)*, +CRAFT(COOKING) +9(6), DISGUISE +5(5), +KNOWLEDGE LOCAL +6(3), +PERCEPTION +10(6), SENSE MOTIVE +10(6), +STEALTH +9(4)*, +SURVIVAL +8(4)

UNTRAINED  
+APPRAISE +0, BLUFF +0, +CLIMB +3*, CRAFT +0, +DIPLOMACY +0, ESCAPE ARTIST +2*, +HEAL +1, +INTIMIDATE +0, PERFORM +0, +RIDE +2*, +SWIM +3*  
(FLY +2*)

*Armour Check Penalty: Skill at –0 due to armour worn.  
+Class Skill

FEATS  
[ COSMOPOLITAN](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/advancedFeats.html#_cosmopolitan) (APPRAISE AND DIPLOMACY)  
Living in large, exotic cities has put the character in touch with many diverse civilizations, cultures, and races.

[TWO-WEAPON FIGHTING [REQUIRES: DEX 15]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_two-weapon-fighting)  
The character can fight with a weapon wielded in each of her hands. She can make one extra attack each round with the secondary weapon.

[POWER ATTACK [REQUIRES: STR 13, BAB+1]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_power-attack)  
The character can make exceptionally deadly melee attacks by sacrificing accuracy for strength.

[RACIAL ABILITIES: ELVEN](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advancedRaceGuide/coreRaces/elves.html#_elf-racial-traits)  
LANGUAGES - Tuatha begin play speaking Common and High Elven. Tuatha with high Intelligence scores can choose from the following: Celestial, Draconic, Gnoll, Gnome, Goblin, Orc, and Sylvan.

SPECIAL ABILITIES  
GODMARKED  
[HERO’S FORTUNE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/advancedNewRules.html#_hero's-fortune) \- Even at the start of her career, it was clear that the character had a chance at greatness, and her legend continues to grow with every adventure.  
[BINDING TIES](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/cleric.html#_binding-ties) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (3 USES/DAY) – The character can temporarily take the suffering as an ally onto herself, rendering them temporarily immune to the condition for a short time dependent on her character level.  
[CURE LIGHT WOUNDS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/cureLightWounds.html#_cure-light-wounds) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (2 USES/DAY) - When laying her hand upon a living creature, the character channels positive energy that cures 1d8 points of damage + 1 point per caster level (maximum +5).  
[CURE MODERATE WOUNDS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/cureModerateWounds.html#_cure-moderate-wounds) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) - When laying her hand upon a living creature, the character channels positive energy that cures 2d8 points of damage + 1 point per caster level (maximum +10).

CLASS FEATURES  
WEAPON AND ARMOUR PROFICIENCY: RANGER  
A ranger is proficient with all simple and martial weapons and with light armour, medium armour and shields (except tower shields).

[FAVOURED ENEMY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/ranger.html#_favored-enemy) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY] - HUMANOID (ELF) [+2], UNDEAD [+4]  
A ranger is better at attacking and damaging their favoured enemies. They spot them, track them, lie to them and understand them better, and know more about them than other similar creatures.

TRACK [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
A ranger is better at following or identifying tracks.

WILD EMPATHY [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
A ranger can communicate wordlessly with an animal, in the hope of making it more friendly towards the ranger and her allies.

COMBAT STYLE FEAT: [SHIELD FOCUS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_shield-focus) [REQUIRES: SHIELD PROFICIENCY, BAB +1]  
Increase the defensive bonus granted by any shield you are using.

[FAVOURED COMMUNITY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/ranger.html#_favored-community) (ADVENTURER'S QUARTER)  
At 3rd level, the urban ranger forms a bond with a community. While inside the limits of this community, she gains numerous bonuses to knowledge, tracking and survival, as well as being untrackable herself.

[FEAT: ENDURANCE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_endurance)   
The character is more readily able to handle prolonged physical activity and deprivation, and may sleep in light or medium armour without becoming fatigued.

[HUNTER’S BOND – COMPANION BOND [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/ranger.html#_hunter-s-bond)   
At 4th level, a ranger forms a bond with her hunting companions, allowing her to extend a limited version of her favoured enemy bonuses to them.

COMBAT STYLE FEAT: [IMPROVED SHIELD BASH](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_improved-shield-bash) [REQUIRES: SHIELD PROFICIENCY]  
The ranger can protect herself with her shield, even if she uses it to attack.

SPELLS  
[RANGER LEVEL 1](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/spell-lists-and-domains/spell-lists---ranger#p1) [2/Day Prepared] Save DC 12  
+HUNTER’S HOWL – Treat enemies as favoured for 1 round/level.  
+LEAD BLADES - Melee weapons damage as if one size bigger.

* * *

JAKE ENGLISH [GUNSLINGER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/classes/gunslinger.html) ([PISTOLERO](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/classArchetypes/gunslinger.html#_pistolero-\(archetype\))) 6  
CHAOTIC GOOD

TL:DR – Jake has an iterative attack and moar armour class. He's also got a couple of new magic items- including having his armour enchanted, a ring that lets him do more cool stuff, and a bandolier that stores his ammo and can teleport it into his guns!

[ ](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/n3p1zlae510hs31/Jake%20English.png?dl=0)

BASIC STATISTICS  
GENDER: Male  
HAIR/EYES: Black hair, green eyes  
HOMELAND: Quartzkin Clanhold  
DEITY: The Page of Hope  
LANGUAGES: Common, High Elven, Dwarven  
RACE: Tuatha (High Elf)

ATTRIBUTES  
STRENGTH: 13[+1]  
DEXTERITY: 17[+3]  
CONSTITUTION: 10[+0]  
INTELLIGENCE: 10[+0]  
WISDOM: 15[+2]  
CHARISMA: 10[+0]

HIT POINTS: 40/40  
HERO POINTS: 3/5  
INITIATIVE: +3(+5 if holding Grit)  
BASE SPEED/S: 30ft (land)

ARMOUR CLASS [AC]: 21  
TOUCH AC: 15  
FLAT-FOOTED AC: 16

BASE ATTACK BONUS [BAB]: +6/+1  
BASIC MELEE ATTACK: +7/+2  
BASIC RANGED ATTACK: +9/+4  
COMBAT MANEUVER BONUS [CMB]: +7/+2  
COMBAT MANEUVER DEFENCE [CMD]: 20

SAVES  
FORTITUDE: +5  
REFLEX: +8  
WILL: +4

[WEAPONS/ATTACKS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_firearms-table)  
[HEAVY PICK](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_heavy-pick)  
[MASTERWORK GUNSLINGER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/classes/gunslinger.html#_gunsmith) [PISTOL](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/combat/firearms.html#_pistol) \- Ammunition 22 bullets, 22 black powder charges (both required to fire).  
[MASTERWORK PISTOL](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/combat/firearms.html#_pistol) \- As above, shared ammunition.

EQUIPMENT - [CARRYING CAPACITY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/additionalRules.html#_carrying-capacity) (STR 14)

EQUIPMENT - ITEM SLOTS  
CLOTHING: TRAVELLER'S OUTFIT  
This set of clothes consists of boots, wool breeches, a sturdy belt, a shirt (perhaps with a vest or jacket), and an ample coat with a hood.

CLOTHING: ADVENTURER'S SASH  
This bandoleer holds six pouches along its length and a satchel at the hip. Each pouch has a stiff leather flap that can be secured against jostling with a clasp (requiring a move action to open or close) or left unfastened for easier access. The pouches and satchel each contain a number of loops and ties for further securing equipment. The sash buckles at the shoulder, and can be freed with a sharp tug in an emergency as a move action.

ARMOUR: +2 MITHRAL CHAIN SHIRT  
+6 armour bonus, +6 max DEX bonus, -0 Armour Check Penalty, 10% Arcane Spell Failure Chance, LIGHT  
SPECIAL: An item made from mithral weighs half as much as the same item made from other metals.

CHEST: [ALL TOOLS VEST](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/magicItems/wondrousItems.html#_all-tools-vest)  
This well-made leather vest bears numerous shiny metal buttons, which stud a number of bulging pockets. Once per day, as a standard action, the wearer can speak the vest’s command word and order it to bring forth all the standard tools required to make checks for any one Craft skill. These tools appear in the countless pockets of the vest or, if too heavy, on the floor, on a nearby shelf, on a workbench, or in a toolbox or cupboard that appears nearby. Once summoned, they remain for 24 hours or until another creature touches them, whichever comes first.

BELT: [BENEFICIAL BANDOLIER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/wondrousItems/belts.html#_beneficial-bandolier) (22/200)  
This bandolier is made of finely tanned leather. It has slots for up to 200 rounds of ammunition. Pellets and black powder are kept in tiny individual pouches, and bullets in small loops. As a swift action, the wearer can command a single round of ammunition from the beneficial bandolier to teleport into a firearm of the appropriate type that he is wielding.

RING 1: [RING OF GRIT MASTERY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/ringsRodsStaves/rings.html#_ring-of-grit-mastery) (0/2)  
This ring is made out of fused firearm bullets, making it a chunky but overall impressive ring. Twice per day, as a free action, when the wearer regains grit, he can choose to store it in the ring of grit mastery instead of regaining the grit point. Any grit points stored in the ring disappear at the start of each day.

EQUIPMENT - POSSESSIONS  
Adventurer's Sash 3lbs, Heavy Pick 6lbs, Masterwork Gunslinger Pistol 4lbs, Masterwork Pistol 4lbs, +2 Mithral Chain Shirt 12.5lbs, All Tools Vest 5lbs, Beneficial Bandolier 2lbs, Ring of Grit Mastery, Dagger 1lb, Waterskin 4lbs

>[HANDY HAVERSACK](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/magicItems/wondrousItems.html#_handy-haversack) 5lbs (Extradimensional Space, Capacity 80lbs+20lbs+20lbs)  
Bedroll 5lbs, Blanket (Common) [x2] 2lb, Kit (Grooming) 2lbs, Kit (Cooking) 2lbs, Kit (Mess) 1lb, Kit (Dungeoneering Deluxe) 15lbs, Kit (Gunsmith’s) 2lbs, Kit (Gear Maintenance) 2lbs, Potion of Cure Light Wounds [x4], Moonrod [x17], Dragon Punch Whiskey [x1]  
Tent (Small, 1 person) 20lbs  
Rations (Trail) [x20] 20lb

>LEATHER SATCHEL 1lbs (Capacity 35lbs)  
Healer's Kit [10 uses, +2] 1lb, Wound Paste [x3] 0.5lbs

>POUCH, BELT 0.5lbs (Capacity 10lbs)  
Flint and Steel, Compass 0.5lbs, Oil of Silence [x1], Potion of Cure Moderate Wounds [x5]

>POWDER HORN 1lb (Capacity 10 x Black Powder)  
Black Powder [x2] [crafted at 10% cost]

>POWDER HORN 1lb (Capacity 10 x Black Powder)  
Black Powder [x10] [crafted at 10% cost]

>POWDER HORN 1lb (Capacity 10 x Black Powder)  
Black Powder [x10] [crafted at 10% cost]

TOTAL 40.5lbs (20.5lbs+20lbs+20lbs in EDS)

EQUIPMENT - MONEY  
0CP, 0SP, 495GP, 0PP  
OTHER:

SKILLS  
TRAINED  
+ACROBATICS +11(5)*, +CLIMB +6(2)*, +CRAFT(ALCHEMY) +9(6),*DISABLE DEVICE +1(1), KNOWLEDGE DUNGEONEERING +6(6), LINGUISTICS +1(1), +SURVIVAL +7(2), USE MAGIC DEVICE +4(4)

UNTRAINED  
APPRAISE +0, +BLUFF +0, CRAFT +0, DIPLOMACY +0, DISGUISE +0, ESCAPE ARTIST +3*, +HEAL +2, +INTIMIDATE +0, +PERCEPTION +2, PERFORM +0, +RIDE +3*, SENSE MOTIVE +2, STEALTH +3*, +SWIM +1*  
(FLY +3*)

*Armour Check Penalty: Skill at –0 due to armour worn.  
+Class Skill

FEATS  
[ RAPID RELOAD (PISTOL) [REQUIRES: WEAPON PROFICIENCY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/ultimateCombatFeats.html#_rapid-reload)  
The character can reload pistols quickly.

[BLIND-FIGHT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_blind-fight)   
The character is skilled at attacking opponents that he cannot clearly perceive.

[TWO-WEAPON FIGHTING [REQUIRES: DEX 15]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_two-weapon-fighting)  
The character can fight with a weapon wielded in each of her hands. She can make one extra attack each round with the secondary weapon.

[RACIAL ABILITIES: ELVEN](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advancedRaceGuide/coreRaces/elves.html#_elf-racial-traits)  
LANGUAGES - Tuatha begin play speaking Common and High Elven. Tuatha with high Intelligence scores can choose from the following: Celestial, Draconic, Gnoll, Gnome, Goblin, Orc, and Sylvan.

SPECIAL ABILITIES  
GODMARKED  
[HERO’S FORTUNE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/advancedNewRules.html#_hero's-fortune) \- Even at the start of his career, it was clear that the character had a chance at greatness, and his legend continues to grow with every adventure.  
[HONOR BOUND](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/cleric.html#_honor-bound) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (3 USES/DAY) – The character can, with a touch, remind a creature of its duties and responsibilities and help them shake off an enchantment or compulsion. He can also attempt to shake off effects of this nature that have affected him.  
[REMOVE FEAR](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/removeFear.html#_remove-fear) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY](1 USE/DAY) – The character instils courage in the subject, granting them a bonus against fear effects for 10 minutes.  
[REMOVE PARALYSIS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/removeParalysis.html#_remove-paralysis) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY](1 USE/DAY) – The character frees creatures from paralysis or slow effects.

CLASS FEATURES  
WEAPON AND ARMOUR PROFICIENCY: GUNSLINGER (PISTOLERO)  
Pistoleros are proficient with all simple and martial weapons, and with one-handed firearms. They are proficient with all light armour.

[GUNSMITH](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/classes/gunslinger.html#_gunsmith) (PISTOLERO)  
A gunslinger has a battered pistol, which only he knows how to properly use. To anyone else, the gun seems to be broken.

[FEAT: QUICK DRAW [REQUIRES: BAB +1]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_quick-draw)  
The gunslinger can draw weapons faster than most.

FEAT: [GUNSMITHING](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/ultimateCombatFeats.html#_gunsmithing)  
The character knows the secrets of repairing and restoring firearms.

[GRIT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/classes/gunslinger.html#_grit) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY] (2/2)  
Gunslingers make their mark upon the world with their grit, which they use to accomplish daring deeds (see below).

[DEEDS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/classes/gunslinger.html#_deeds)  
1\. [UP CLOSE AND DEADLY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/classArchetypes/gunslinger.html#_up-close-and-deadly) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
2\. [GUNSLINGER'S DODGE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/classes/gunslinger.html#_gunslinger%27s-dodge) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
3\. [QUICK CLEAR](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/classes/gunslinger.html#_quick-clear) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
[GUNSLINGER INITIATIVE [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/classes/gunslinger.html#_gunslinger-initiative) \- At 3rd level, as long as the gunslinger has at least 1 grit point, he is markedly faster to react to threats.  
[PISTOL-WHIP [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/classes/gunslinger.html#_pistol-whip) \- At 3rd level, the gunslinger can make a surprise melee attack with the butt or handle of his firearm for a cost of 1 grit point.  
[UTILITY SHOT [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/classes/gunslinger.html#_utility-shot) \- At 3rd level, as long as the gunslinger has at least 1 grit point, he can perform utility shots (Blast Lock- breaks locks open, Scoot Unattended Object- moves a tiny object up to 15 feet, and Stop Bleeding- uses the hot barrel of the gun to cauterize wounds).

[NIMBLE [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY] (+2)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/classes/gunslinger.html#_nimble)  
Starting at 2nd level, the gunslinger gains a dodge bonus to AC while wearing light or no armour.

[PISTOL TRAINING 1 [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/classArchetypes/gunslinger.html#_pistol-training)  
Starting at 5th level, the pistolero increases his skill with one-handed firearms, doing more damage in line with his Dexterity and becoming progressively less likely to misfire.

* * *

ROXY LALONDE [WIZARD](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/wizard.html#_wizard) 3 / [ROGUE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/rogue.html#_rogue) 3  
CHAOTIC GOOD

TL:DR – Roxy gained an improved sneak attack and got better at dodging traps. There have also been a few modifications to alter for previous mistakes- she had too few skill points and a fourth-level rogue power, and I have no idea why!

[](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/5i92rjtgq134lqh/Roxy%20Lalonde.png?dl=0)

BASIC STATISTICS  
GENDER: Female  
HAIR/EYES: Blonde hair, pink eyes  
HOMELAND: City of Porthaven (Temple District)  
DEITY: The Rogue of Void  
LANGUAGES: Common, Celestial, High Elven, Draconic  
RACE: Aasimar

ATTRIBUTES  
STRENGTH: 10[+0]  
DEXTERITY: 13[+1]  
CONSTITUTION: 14[+2]  
INTELLIGENCE: 16[+3]  
WISDOM: 10[+0]  
CHARISMA: 14[+2]

HIT POINTS: 41/41  
HERO POINTS: 3/3  
INITIATIVE: +5  
BASE SPEED/S: 30ft (land)

ARMOUR CLASS [AC]: 11(15)  
TOUCH AC: 11  
FLAT-FOOTED AC: 10(14)  
+1 dodge bonus to AC against attacks made by traps.

BASE ATTACK BONUS [BAB]: +3  
BASIC MELEE ATTACK: +3  
BASIC RANGED ATTACK: +4  
COMBAT MANEUVER BONUS [CMB]: +3  
COMBAT MANEUVER DEFENCE [CMD]: 14

SAVES  
FORTITUDE: +4  
REFLEX: +5  
WILL: +4  
+1 bonus to Reflex saves made to avoid traps.

[WEAPONS/ATTACKS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_weapon-descriptions)  
[UNARMED](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_improved-unarmed-strike) [STRIKE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/combat.html#_unarmed-strike-damage)  
[CROSSBOW, LIGHT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_light-crossbow) – 20 ammunition  
[DAGGER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_dagger) \- Can be thrown, range 10ft.

EQUIPMENT - [CARRYING CAPACITY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/additionalRules.html#_carrying-capacity) (STR 10)

EQUIPMENT - ITEM SLOTS  
CLOTHING: ENTERTAINER'S OUTFIT  
This set of flashy- perhaps even gaudy- clothes is for entertaining. While the outfit looks whimsical, its practical design lets the character tumble, dance, walk a tightrope, or just run if the audience turns ugly.

EQUIPMENT - POSSESSIONS  
Crossbow (Light) 4lbs, Bolts (Crossbow) [x20] 2lb, Signet Ring, Dagger 1lb, Waterskin 4lbs, Hip Flask 2lbs

>POUCH, SPELL COMPONENTS 2lbs

>POUCH, BELT 0.5lbs (Capacity 10lbs)  
Ink (Black) [1oz. Vial], Inkpen, Pearl of Power (1st level), Dragon Whistle

TOTAL 15.5lbs

EQUIPMENT - MONEY  
0CP, 0SP, 0GP, 0PP  
OTHER:

SKILLS  
TRAINED  
+BLUFF +11(6), +DIPLOMACY +11(6), +DISABLE DEVICE* +10(6), +ESCAPE ARTIST +10(6)*, +KNOWLEDGE ARCANA +12(6), +SPELLCRAFT +12(6), +STEALTH +13(6)*, +USE MAGIC DEVICE +11(6)

UNTRAINED  
+ACROBATICS +1*, +APPRAISE +3, +CLIMB +0*, +CRAFT +3, +DISGUISE +2, HEAL +0, +INTIMIDATE +2, +PERCEPTION +2(4), +PERFORM +2, RIDE +1*, +SENSE MOTIVE +2(4), SURVIVAL +2, +SWIM +0*  
(+FLY +1*)

*Armour Check Penalty: Skill at –0 due to armour worn.  
+Class Skill

FEATS  
[ARCANE STRIKE [REQUIRES: ARCANE SPELLCASTING]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_arcane-strike)  
The character draws upon her arcane power to enhance her weapons with magical energy.

[IMPROVED INITIATIVE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_improved-initiative)   
The character's quick reflexes allow her to react rapidly to danger.

[ECLECTIC (ROGUE) [REQUIRES: HUMAN]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/advancedFeats.html#_eclectic)   
The character has a talent for picking up different vocations. NOTE: As there are no humans in the setting, the human requirement is accepted to apply to Aasimar as the closest equivalent.

[RACIAL ABILITIES: AASIMAR](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advancedRaceGuide/featuredRaces/aasimars.html#_aasimar-racial-traits)  
AASIMARS DO NOT COUNT AS OUTSIDERS FOR THE PURPOSE OF THIS SETTING.  
[DAYLIGHT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/daylight.html#_daylight) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Aasimars can touch an object and cause it to shed a brilliant light which drives back even magical darkness.  
LANGUAGES – Aasimars begin play speaking Common and Celestial. Aasimars with high Intelligence scores can choose any of the following bonus languages: Draconic, Dwarven, High Elven, Gnome, Halfling, and Sylvan.

SPECIAL ABILITIES  
GODMARKED  
[IMPROVED UNARMED STRIKE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_improved-unarmed-strike) \- The character is skilled at fighting while unarmed.  
[COPYCAT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/cleric.html#_trickery-domain) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (5 USES/DAY) – The character can briefly, dependent on her character level, create an illusory double of herself to distract or mislead others.  
EXTRA – Bluff, Disguise and Stealth are class skills.  
[ENTROPIC SHIELD](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/entropicShield.html#_entropic-shield) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY](2 USES/DAY) - A magical field appears around the character, glowing with a chaotic blast of multicolored hues and deflecting some incoming ranged attacks.  
[BLINDNESS/DEAFNESS (BLINDNESS ONLY)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/blindnessDeafness.html#_blindness-deafness) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY](1 USE/DAY) - This power renders the subject blind.

CLASS FEATURES  
WEAPON AND ARMOUR PROFICIENCY: WIZARD  
Wizards are proficient with the club, dagger, heavy crossbow, light crossbow, and quarterstaff, but not with any type of armour or shield. Armour interferes with a wizard's movements, which can cause her spells with somatic components to fail.

[ARCANE BOND](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/wizard.html#_arcane-bond) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]: [FAMILIAR](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/wizard.html#_familiars) (FRIGGLISH, [CAT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/monsters/familiar.html#_cat))  
Grants his master a +3 bonus on Stealth checks.  
If a familiar is dismissed, lost, or dies, it can be replaced 1 week later though a specialised ritual that costs 200gp per wizard level. The ritual takes 8 hours to complete.  
HIT POINTS: 20 HIT DICE: 6  
SIZE: Tiny REACH: 0ft SPEED: 30ft  
STR 3[-4], DEX 15[+2], CON 8[-1], INT 7[-2], WIS 12[+1], CHA 7[-2]  
ATTACK:  
BAB: +3 ATTACK: BITE +5 (1d3-4), CLAWS[x2] +5 (1d2-4)  
CMB: +3  
DEFENCE:  
AC: 16 (Natural Armour +2)  
CMD: 11 (15 vs. trip)  
SAVES: FORT 1, REF 6, WILL 5  
SKILLS:  
Climb 6, Perception 5, Stealth 14 (use master's skill ranks if better)  
FEATS:  
[Weapon Finesse](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_weapon-finesse)  
SPECIAL ABILITIES:  
[Low-Light Vision](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/glossary.html#_low-light-vision), [Scent](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/glossary.html#_scent), [Empathic Link](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/wizard.html#_familiar-empathic-link), [Improved Evasion](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/wizard.html#_familiar-improved-evasion), [Share Spells](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/wizard.html#_familiar-share-spells), [Deliver Touch Spells](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/wizard.html#_familiar-deliver-touch-spells)

ARCANE SCHOOL: [ILLUSION](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/wizard.html#_illusion-school)  
OPPOSITION SCHOOLS: [NECROMANCY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/wizard.html#_necromancy-school), [DIVINATION](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/wizard.html#_divination-school)  
A wizard that chooses to specialise in one school of magic must select two opposition schools whose spells are harder for them to cast, but they gain the ability to cast an additional spell from their school each day and related school powers.  
1\. EXTENDED ILLUSIONS [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY]  
2\. BLINDING RAY [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (5 USES/DAY)

FEAT: [SCRIBE SCROLL](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_scribe-scroll)  
The character can create magic scrolls.

FEAT: [ALERTNESS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_alertness) [REQUIRES: FAMILIAR WITHIN ARM'S REACH]  
The character often notices things that others might miss when her familiar is nearby.

[SNEAK ATTACK [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY] (+2d6 Precision Damage)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/rogue.html#_sneak-attack)  
A rogue can strike a vital spot for more damage whenever their foe is in a vulnerable position.

[TRAPFINDING](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/rogue.html#_trapfinding) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
The rogue adds 1/2 her level to Perception skill checks made to locate traps and to Disable Device skill checks (minimum +1). A rogue can use Disable Device to disarm magic traps.

[TRAP SENSE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/rogue.html#_trap-sense-rogue) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY] (+1)  
At 3rd level, a rogue gains an intuitive sense that alerts her to danger from traps.

ROGUE TALENTS  
[OFFENSIVE DEFENCE](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/classes/core-classes/rogue/rogue-talents/paizo---rogue-talents/offensive-defense-ex) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
When a rogue with this talent hits a creature with a melee sneak attack that deals sneak attack damage, the rogue gains greater defence against that foe.

SPELLS  
LEVEL 0 [4 Prepared, At Will] Save DC 12  
+(ILLU) GHOST SOUND – Figment sounds.  
+(TRANS) JOLT – Deal 1d3 Electrical damage with a ranged touch attack.  
+(TRANS) MESSAGE – Whisper conversation at distance.  
+(UNIV) PRESTIDIGITATION – Performs minor tricks.

WIZARD CANTRIPS KNOWN: [RESISTANCE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/resistance.html#_resistance), [ACID SPLASH](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/acidSplash.html#_acid-splash), [DRENCH](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/rare-cantrips), [DAZE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/daze.html#_daze), [BREEZE](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/rare-cantrips), [DANCING LIGHTS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/dancingLights.html#_dancing-lights), [FLARE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/flare.html#_flare), [LIGHT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/light.html#_light), [PENUMBRA](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/rare-cantrips), [RAY OF FROST](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/rayOfFrost.html#_ray-of-frost), [SCOOP](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/rare-cantrips), [SPARK](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/spells/spark.html#_spark-), [GHOST SOUND](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/ghostSound.html#_ghost-sound), [HAUNTED FEY ASPECT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/spells/hauntedFeyAspect.html#_haunted-fey-aspect), [JOLT](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/rare-cantrips), [MAGE HAND](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/mageHand.html#_mage-hand), [MENDING](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/mending.html#_mending), [MESSAGE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/message.html#_message), [OPEN/CLOSE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/openClose.html#_open-close), [ROOT](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/rare-cantrips), [ARCANE MARK](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/arcaneMark.html#_arcane-mark), [PRESTIDIGITATION](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/prestidigitation.html#_prestidigitation)

LEVEL 1 [3/Day+1 Prepared] Save DC 13  
SCHOOL SPELL (ILLUSION):  
+(ILLU)VANISH – As invisibility for 1 round/level (5 max).  
+(CONJ) MAGE ARMOUR – Gives subject +4 armour bonus.  
++(ENCH)CHARM PERSON – Makes one person your friend.

WIZARD FIRST-LEVEL SPELLS KNOWN: [MAGE ARMOUR](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/mageArmor.html#_mage-armor), [DISGUISE SELF](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/disguiseSelf.html#_disguise-self), [ILLUSION OF CALM](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/spells/illusionOfCalm.html#_illusion-of-calm), [MAGIC AURA](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/magicAura.html#_magic-aura), [SHADOW WEAPON](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spells/shadowWeapon.html#_shadow-weapon), [VANISH](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/spells/vanish.html#_vanish), [CHARM PERSON](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/charmPerson.html#_charm-person)

LEVEL 2 [2/Day+1 Prepared] Save DC 14  
SCHOOL SPELL (ILLUSION):  
+(ILLU) MISDIRECTION - Misleads divinations for 1 creature or object.  
++(ILLU) INVISIBILITY - Subject is invisible for 1 min./level or until it attacks.

WIZARD SECOND-LEVEL SPELLS KNOWN: [MISDIRECTION](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/misdirection.html#_misdirection), [INVISIBILITY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/invisibility.html#_invisibility)

* * *

DIRK STRIDER [BARD](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/bard.html#_bard) ([SOUND STRIKER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spellcastingClassOptions/bard.html#_sound-striker-\(archetype\))) 6  
NEUTRAL GOOD

TL:DR – Dirk gained a REALLY COOL power that lets him damage multiple people with his voice, and a spell that shatters things. He also has a couple of magic items- gloves that let him see through walls and a scabbard that enchants his sword.

[ ](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/7kmvohm4luab6po/Dirk%20Strider.png?dl=0)

BASIC STATISTICS  
GENDER: Male  
HAIR/EYES: Blonde hair, orange eyes  
HOMELAND: City of Porthaven (No Fixed Abode)/The Greenweald Forest Region (No Fixed Abode)  
DEITY: The Prince of Heart  
LANGUAGES: Common, Celestial, High Elven, Dwarven  
RACE: Aasimar

ATTRIBUTES  
STRENGTH: 13[+1]  
DEXTERITY: 12[+1]  
CONSTITUTION: 10[+0]  
INTELLIGENCE: 14[+2]  
WISDOM: 10[+0]  
CHARISMA: 18[+4]

HIT POINTS: 35/35  
HERO POINTS: 3/3  
INITIATIVE: +1  
BASE SPEED/S: 30ft (land)

ARMOUR CLASS [AC]: 14  
TOUCH AC: 11  
FLAT-FOOTED AC: 13

BASE ATTACK BONUS [BAB]: +4  
BASIC MELEE ATTACK: +5  
BASIC RANGED ATTACK: +5  
COMBAT MANEUVER BONUS [CMB]: +5  
COMBAT MANEUVER DEFENCE [CMD]: 16

SAVES  
FORTITUDE: +2  
REFLEX: +6  
WILL: +5

[WEAPONS/ATTACKS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/combat/easternArmorAndWeapons.html#_table-eastern-weapons-exotic)  
[MASTERWORK KATANA](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_katana) – This is a [deadly](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/combat/easternArmorAndWeapons.html#_deadly) weapon.  
[DAGGER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_dagger) \- Can be thrown, range 10ft.

EQUIPMENT - [CARRYING CAPACITY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/additionalRules.html#_carrying-capacity) (STR 13)

EQUIPMENT - ITEM SLOTS  
CLOTHING: ENTERTAINER'S OUTFIT + MASK  
This set of flashy- perhaps even gaudy- clothes is for entertaining. While the outfit looks whimsical, its practical design lets the character tumble, dance, walk a tightrope, or just run if the audience turns ugly. The mask is made from painted, varnished wood and cloth; it is ornate, gaudy even- a cheaper and more practical imitation of what a nobleman might wear to a masquerade ball.

ARMOUR: MASTERWORK STUDDED LEATHER  
+3 armour bonus, +5 max DEX bonus, -0 Armour Check Penalty, 15% Arcane Spell Failure Chance, LIGHT  
SPECIAL: Masterwork armour has an Armour Check Penalty one lower than normal and can be enchanted.

HANDS: [GLOVES OF RECONNAISSANCE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/wondrousItems/hands.html#_gloves-of-reconnaissance)  
Each of these fingerless worked leather gloves look as though they have seen heavy use, and often bear the stains or scent of grass or wet mud. On command, the wearer can use the gloves to see and hear though solid material no more than 15 feet thick by placing both hands on that material. The gloves can be used for 10 rounds each day. The rounds need not be consecutive.  


SLOTLESS: [SCABBARD OF VIGOR](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/wondrousItems/slotless.html#_scabbard-of-vigor)  
Once per day, as part of the action of drawing forth the weapon held by a scabbard of vigor, the wearer can order it to endow the weapon with an enhancement bonus on attack and damage rolls. The duration of the effect depends on the desired enhancement bonus for the weapon.  


EQUIPMENT - POSSESSIONS  
Masterwork Katana 6lbs, Masterwork Studded Leather 20lbs, Clothing (Mask, 3gp) 1lb, Gloves of Reconnaissance, Scabbard of Vigor 3lbs, Dagger 1lb, Waterskin 4lbs

>BACKPACK, COMMON 2lbs (Capacity 60lbs)  
Tent (Small, 1 person) 20lbs, Bedroll 5lbs, Kit (Juggler's) 10lbs, Rations (Wandermeal) [x14] [Eating this tough, dried cake for over a week without other nutrients causes the eater to feel ill] 7lbs

>POUCH, BELT 0.5lbs (Capacity 10lbs)  
Flint and Steel, Whetstone 1lb

>CARAVAN (Capacity 200lbs, Can produce mundane items up to 25gp in value)  
Maplehoof (Heavy Horse)

TOTAL 60.5lb (16.5lbs without backpack)

EQUIPMENT - MONEY  
13CP, 6SP, 7GP, 0PP  
OTHER:

SKILLS  
TRAINED  
+APPRAISE +6(1), +BLUFF +13(6), +CRAFT(SCULPTURES) +13(6), +CRAFT(WEAPONS) +10(5), +DIPLOMACY +10(3), HANDLE ANIMAL +5(1), +INTIMIDATE +8(1), +KNOWLEDGE LOCAL +8(2), +PERCEPTION +7(4), +PERFORM(SHARP RHYMES) +13(6), +PERFORM(SWEET MOVES) +13(6), +SENSE MOTIVE +9(6)

UNTRAINED  
+ACROBATICS +1(+7)*, +CLIMB +1*, +CRAFT +2, +DISGUISE +4, +ESCAPE ARTIST +1*, HEAL +0, +KNOWLEDGE ARCANA +3, +KNOWLEDGE DUNGEONEERING +3, +KNOWLEDGE ENGINEERING +3, +KNOWLEDGE GEOGRAPHY +3, +KNOWLEDGE HISTORY +3, +KNOWLEDGE NATURE +3, +KNOWLEDGE NOBILITY +3, +KNOWLEDGE PLANES +3, +KNOWLEDGE RELIGION +3, +PERFORM +3, RIDE +1*, +STEALTH +1*, SURVIVAL +0, SWIM +1*  
(FLY +1*)

*Armour Check Penalty: Skill at –0 due to armour worn.  
+Class Skill

FEATS  
[SPELLSONG [REQUIRES: CHA 13, BARDIC PERFORMANCE, 1st-LEVEL SPELLCASTING]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/ultimateMagicFeats.html#_spellsong)  
The character can blend the power of his performance and spellcasting.

[LINGERING PERFORMANCE [REQUIRES: BARDIC PERFORMANCE CLASS FEATURE]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/advancedFeats.html#_lingering-performance)   
The effects of the character's bardic performance carry on, even after he has stopped performing.

[MASTER CRAFTSMAN (CRAFT: SCULPTURES) [REQUIRES: 5 RANKS IN ANY CRAFT OR PROFESSION SKILL]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_master-craftsman)   
The character's superior crafting skills allow him to create simple magic items.

[RACIAL ABILITIES: AASIMAR](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advancedRaceGuide/featuredRaces/aasimars.html#_aasimar-racial-traits)  
AASIMARS DO NOT COUNT AS OUTSIDERS FOR THE PURPOSE OF THIS SETTING.  
[DAYLIGHT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/daylight.html#_daylight) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Aasimars can touch an object and cause it to shed a brilliant light which drives back even magical darkness.  
LANGUAGES – Aasimars begin play speaking Common and Celestial. Aasimars with high Intelligence scores can choose any of the following bonus languages: Draconic, Dwarven, High Elven, Gnome, Halfling, and Sylvan.

SPECIAL ABILITIES  
GODMARKED  
WEAPON PROFICIENCY (KATANA)  
[DESTRUCTIVE SMITE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/cleric.html#_destruction-domain) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (7 USES/DAY)– The character can do more damage on a single melee attack, dependent on his character level.   
[DEATHWATCH](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/deathwatch.html#_deathwatch) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY](2 USES/DAY) - The character can determine the condition of creatures near death within the spell's range.  
[GENTLE REPOSE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/gentleRepose.html#_gentle-repose) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY](1 USE/DAY) - Preserves one corpse from decay for 1 day/character level.

CLASS FEATURES  
WEAPON AND ARMOUR PROFICIENCY: BARD  
A bard is proficient with all simple weapons, plus the longsword, rapier, sap, shortsword, shortbow and whip. Bards are also proficient with light armour and shields (except tower shields). A bard can cast bard spells while wearing light armour and using a shield without incurring the normal arcane spell failure chance. Like any other arcane spellcaster, a bard wearing medium or heavy armour incurs a chance of arcane spell failure is the spell in question has a somatic component. A multiclass bard still incurs the normal arcane spell failure chance for arcane spells received from other classes.

BARDIC KNOWLEDGE [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
A bard has a little knowledge in all areas, and learns more as he becomes more experienced.

[BARDIC PERFORMANCE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/bard.html#_bardic-performance) (18 ROUNDS/DAY)  
A bard can create magical effects around him, so long as he is able to keep performing. He can make use of the following abilities when he performs, so long as he can be seen and/or heard by those he wishes to affect.  
1\. COUNTERSONG [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY]  
2\. DISTRACTION [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY]  
3\. FASCINATE [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (TARGETS 1)  
4\. INSPIRE COURAGE (+2) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY]  
5\. [WEIRD WORDS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spellcastingClassOptions/bard.html#_weird-words) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY]

[VERSATILE PERFORMANCE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/bard.html#_versatile-performance) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY] (Perform [Sweet Moves], Perform [Sharp Rhymes])  
At 2nd level, the bard can choose one type of Perform skill. He can use his bonus in that skill in place of his bonus in associated skills. Perform (Sweet Moves) can substitute for: Acrobatics, Fly. Perform (Sharp Rhymes) can substitute for: Bluff, Sense Motive.

[WELL-VERSED](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/bard.html#_well-versed) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
At 2nd level, the bard becomes resistant to the bardic performance of others, and to sonic effects in general.

[WORDSTRIKE [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spellcastingClassOptions/bard.html#_wordstrike) 1D4+6 (1/2 for living creatures)  
At 3rd level, the sound striker can direct bursts of sonic power in his words, damaging creatures or objects.

[LORE MASTER [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/bard.html#_lore-master) 1/DAY  
At 5th level, the bard becomes a master of lore and can perform any Knowledge skill check he has experience in with ease.

SPELLS  
LEVEL 0 [At Will] Save DC 13  
[DETECT MAGIC](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/detectMagic.html#_detect-magic), [MENDING](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/mending.html#_mending), [MESSAGE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/message.html#_message), [PRESTIDIGITATION](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/prestidigitation.html#_prestidigitation), [SIFT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/spells/sift.html#_sift), [UNWITTING ALLY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/spells/unwittingAlly.html#_unwitting-ally)

LEVEL 1 [5/Day] Save DC 14  
[CHORD OF SHARDS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spells/chordOfShards.html#_chord-of-shards), [CURE LIGHT WOUNDS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/cureLightWounds.html#_cure-light-wounds), [MOMENT OF GREATNESS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/spells/momentOfGreatness.html#_moment-of-greatness), [TIMELY INSPIRATION](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/spells/timelyInspiration.html#_timely-inspiration)

LEVEL 2 [4/Day] Save DC 16  
[ALLEGRO](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spells/allegro.html#_allegro), [BLADED DASH](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/all-spells/b/bladed-dash), [MASTERWORK TRANSFORMATION](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spells/masterworkTransformation.html#_masterwork-transformation), [SHATTER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/shatter.html#_shatter)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This level I upgraded a bunch of equipment, because it needed doing. :) So many new pictures abound! Level-ups should be slowing down a little from now on, because I have Plans.
> 
> I must share with you [this lovely collection of LODAD fanart](https://drive.google.com/folderview?id=0B0EIUJihojgrYVZ5LXRtckE3dVU&usp=sharing), by [mageoftime](http://mageoftime.tumblr.com/). There's some really cool attention to small details in there- like all the patterns on various people's skirts and trousers, and the fact that all the drow are depicted at night rather than in the daytime. :) Thank you to everyone who has made me fanart, and if you haven't seen me post links on this story, then prod me. I want to show it off, I just worry that I'll forget between seeing it and the next chapter!
> 
> Thank you to all my readers for being with me this far! :) You rock!


	92. ==> Jade: Discover A Double Agent

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Hero point votes:**  
>  None made yet this round!
> 
>  **Current Hero Points:**  
>  John 2/5, Rose 4/5, **Dave 3/3, Jade 3/3**  
>  Karkat 4/5, **Gamzee 3/3,** Terezi 4/5  
>  **Sollux 3/3,** Aradia 2/3, **Kanaya 5/5**  
>  Jane 3/5, Jake 3/5, **Roxy 3/3, Dirk 3/3**

## ==> Jade: Discover A Double Agent

The four of you sit in a corner of the hidden camp, deep in the depths of the Temple of Hope. You've delivered your report and passed over the manifest, and some of the less obtrusive members of the resistance have gone to check maps and look for Tor Eliannan. You could sit around and talk business, but none of you feel like it. There's something else you feel the need to discuss, but now you're somewhere quiet, none of you can really think how to start.

Bec whines and pushes his head up under your hand. You wrap your arm around his neck and let your face droop into his fur. It smells damp and lupine and reassuringly like home.

“We should look at the book,” says Jake, into the waiting silence that has settled between the four of you. None of you have to ask which book. “Could be something worth a gander in there.”

“We thtill can't read it,” Sollux points out, with an uncharacteristic lack of snappishness. He's lying down, his eyes closed and his head resting on Aradia's lap. He's been weirdly quiet since your flight from the Grey Guard building- since he had that weird fit, and you had to grab him and bodily haul him back in.

Jake doesn't seem put out by this point. “Well, it doesn't hurt to give it a shot.”

You raise your head to meet Aradia's eyes, and give her a gesture that's half-nod, half-shrug. She digs through her pack and pulls out the battered-looking journal. There are dark stains on the cover, almost invisible against the black. They've got a sheen that makes you think of old blood.

“There's some pictures in here,” she says, flicking through the book. “They look familiar!”

Leaving Bec behind, you scoot forward to look over her shoulder. In between the thick-lined, eye-watering scrawl of the Abyssal text, you see pictures that you could swear are shimmering and shifting when you take your eyes off them. They make you feel vaguely sea-sick, but they don't look like anything you've seen before.

“Where from?” you ask, pulling your head back.

“I'm not sure,” she says, brows knitting. Jake pushes over her other shoulder.

“Let me see!” he says. Aradia obligingly holds the book up and his face wrinkles. “Gosh, this is a humdinger of a conundrum, isn't it?”

“I thwear you are jutht making wordth up,” says Sollux.

“Help or move, buttface,” you tell him, giving his shoulder a gentle shove. One glowing eye cracks open just enough to gaze up at you.

“Fine, how about thith?” he says, his voice underscored by a gentle thrum that sets the small hairs on your arms to prickling. “Thinthe we got to thith thity, we've met a thcary verthion of AA, JK and me found a thtatue that gave him vithionth, JD went thtreaking off like a bolt of greathed green lightning, and I jutht fell over while running away becauthe of a thudden fit of doom and gloom. There'th one obviouth thtand-out exthplanation for all thith bullthit.”

You nod as it comes to you, not even caring about his dismissive attitude. “The Godmarks,” you say, careful to keep your voice low. Then you frown, head snapping up to Jake. “Wait, you found a statue that gave you visions?”

He blushes. “Ah, right. Forgot to mention that after we got back and were chewed out by the boss lady.”

“You forgot to mention it!?” You reach past Aradia and slap him gently in the head; you swear that growing up around dwarves has left him thick-skulled. “You mention stuff like that to us, numb-nuts!”

“Sorry, old girl.” Jake rubs sheepishly at the back of his neck. “Ooh, look at that one!”

You follow his pointing finger to an image of a spirograph, scrawled across the page in green ink and with unnaturally precise lines.

“Weird,” says Aradia, gleefully. Sollux snorts.

“Here, let me thee,” he says, sitting up. Aradia passes him the book and he starts flipping through it with a frown of deep concentration, Jake pointing out more spirographs over his shoulder.

“You know, I think there might be something else,” Aradia says. “I've been having these dreams.”

Jake looks up. Sollux doesn't.

“What sort of dreams?” you ask. “Are they prophetic?”

“Not really.” Aradia frowns, propping her chin on her hands. “More like I'm talking to people that I knew, a long time ago.” She sighs and shakes her head. “I don't remember enough!”

You think about this for a few moments. “Do you write your dreams down? That can help with remembering them.”

Sollux does look up for that. “Really? How do you know?”

“Super-secret druid training,” you say, a little smugly. It's not really super-secret, not like some of the other stuff, and from Sollux's snort before he returns to the book you think he knows it.

“I used to sometimes, but I lost my journal.” Aradia pouts. “And the dreams have been getting more interesting since then.”

“Right, so we've just got to get you another journal, then,” says Jake, beaming. “Piece of cake. And then we find someone who can speak Abyssal and Bob's your Uncle!”

Sollux snorts again and you sigh. “Think about it, sillyhead! We can't just show the creepy magic book to _anyone!”_

“And most people who speak Abyssal aren't very trustworthy,” says Aradia, nodding in agreement. Jake flushes slightly.

“Well, I don't see any of you lot coming up with a better plan!”

You sigh and get to your feet, brushing off dust from the floor. “I'm going to go find us something to eat,” you say. It's getting late, so the other just nod and go back to perusing the book.

A few people call out in greeting as you and Bec make your way across the camp. You make a beeline for the crowd at one end of the room, pressed around a trestle table and a bubbling cauldron.

“Jade!” calls the dark-haired elven woman behind the table. You smile and run up to her, skipping over Bec as he charges at your heels.

“Hey, Mom,” you say to the woman. The word still feels weird on your tongue, but the smile she gives you in return is worth it.

“You kids coming for food soon?” she asks. Your own smile slips, ever so slightly, and she chuckles. “It's alright. I'm not going to burst into tears just because Jake stayed over there.”

“What?” calls your birth Dad, from the other end of the table.

“I said we're not upset because the kids are living their own lives!” your birth Mom shouts back. You quickly stifle your giggle behind a hand, but she winks at you. “Honestly, we understand. You're both adults, and we didn't raise you.”

“I know, I just...” You sigh. “I was so excited to see you, but I have Guardian Wolfsister, and Jake has Gunnar and Thyri, and...”

“We understand,” she repeats, and for a moment you see something in her face you aren't expecting; relief, and guilt. For the first time, you wonder what it's like to lose your children and mourn them and then, years later, find out that they are alive and well and _not yours._

Maybe you and Jake aren't the only ones having trouble adjusting.

Your Mom slides a tray towards you and ladles thick, meaty stew into five bowls. “One for Bec, too,” she says, and you feel a flash of extra gratitude. Thanking her, you set back off towards your friends. It's hard work balancing the tray as you weave through the room, and about halfway across you almost trip headlong over Bec. Stew sloshes about when you stumble.

“Dumb wolf!” you hiss, irritated. Bec whines and with a sigh you set the tray down on a nearby crate and crouch to fuss him. “Sorry, boy.”

His head presses into your hand and you hug him. You can't stay mad at Bec, and he doesn't deserve it anyway. Good wolf. Best friend.

There's a clatter as the tray hits the floor, splashing hot stew over you and Bec. You look up ready to shout at the clumsy dumbass who knocked it, but your voice dies when you see a woman in the dark green robes of the Page's Temple hurrying past. She's gone before you can open your mouth, and then you're darting after her. Wherever she's going it has to be some emergency, for her to be moving so quickly.

You rethink that possibility when she passes by the entire crowd and steps out of one of the hidden entrances. There's only a split second to make your choice, and then you shush Bec and follow her. You're still wearing the protective amulet that keeps you safe from the traps around the temple- the priests gave them to all of you when you started going out regularly- so you should be safe.

You hang back from the priestess, not wanting her to see you. From the way she's looking around you think she can sense the attention you're paying to her. You see her face as her head turns; she's pretty, but pale with what looks like fear, and there's a red rim around her eyes. Ducking behind a corner, you wait until her footsteps have moved on, then mutter an orison under your breath. The tug of the earth and stone deep beneath you snaps into place, a lodestone of magic in your head, and you keep track of the twists and turns as you follow her through the hallways.

At times she pauses to touch a carving here or move an idol there; you are careful to always do the same, making more mental notes for the route back. There's a pattern to it, you realise after a while; nothing you can explicitly pin down, but there is a pattern of thinking that you suspect could get someone safely through the whole building, if they knew it. Your newly-cast internal compass tells you that you're headed gradually towards the outside of the building, albeit by an unfamiliar way. The dust on the floors is thick here, and devoid of footprints. If she comes back the way she came she's going to know she was followed. You aren't sure why it's so important to you to remain hidden right now; just a feeling, you guess, but you trust it.

The feeling of unease spikes upwards when she- and by extension you and Bec- arrives at a large iron door, locked with an ornate sequence of spiralling bolts. Like Jake, you can't help but see a spirograph in them, and you blink for a few seconds as the priestess tugs on a few levers nearby. The door creaks and then slowly, slowly swings open. Night air rushes in, warm and heavy with the smell of the sea, and you see the grey hoods of the waiting force outside.

“Is she safe?” you hear the priestess plead, but as curious as you are you don't stay to hear more. You're already running back the way you came, hoping you don't attract attention and frantically scrambling through your memories to recall how to not die in this deathtrap of a Temple.

What's wrong with having an army of animals defend your holy sites you do not know, but as it turns out the security of the Page is not that hard to circumvent when you know how. Bec races at your heels, a silent shadow in your wake, and the two of you burst back into the main room with all the grace and tact of a rampaging elephant. (You've never seen an elephant, but you've heard all about them and you want to one day!)

In a perfect world, you'd find the council and tell them about the threat and let it all be handled in a calm and orderly fashion. This isn't a perfect world, so you cup your hands around your mouth and bellow as loud as you can: “THE GREY GUARD ARE COMING! EVERYONE GET OUT, NOW!”

Chaos erupts. You'd guess that about a third of people who heard you stop and stare dumbly rather than reacting, and another third shake their heads and ignore your warning. The remaining third, however, throw themselves into a frenzy of panicking and packing and trying to drag their loved ones towards the nearest exit. Since said loved ones include friends and family in the first two groups, you leave them to it and run on, still shouting your warning. You hear more voices taking up the cry.

“THE GREY GUARD!”

“RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!”

You fall silent as you push through the mass of bodies, searching all over for familiar horns, a goofy grin, or a flash of magical light. Around you the chaos starts to take on direction as battlefield roars sound over the screams, priests and priestesses of the Page calming the panic and shuffling people into evacuation orders. You hear the crunch of stone as the doors open, and sigh in relief. You were afraid that without your direct testimony they wouldn't believe you, but it seems that your hosts are taking no chances. You guess it's easier to evacuate now and come back later, red-faced, than it is to get everyone out when they're all being killed.

Still, when you pass a green-clad man you stop and snag his robe. “Hey!”

“I don't know,” he says, distracted, before looking back to the crowd. “NORTH-EAST GROUP THIS WAY! THIS WAY FOR THE NORTH-EAST GROUP!”

“I do,” you say, and that gets his attention. “I saw a woman letting the Grey Guard into the temple. She's leading them back here right now; I know I can't have been far ahead of them.”

He turns a shade paler under his dark skin, and you feel a little sad because you know he'd been hoping it was a hoax. Message delivered, you let go of his robe and run on, stopping to peer over people's heads in search of your group and ears pricked up to see if you can hear someone shouting for you. You're still looking when Bec takes off without your say-so and you give chase, ducking under arms and around hastily packed sacks of possessions as he races away.

“STONEWALL GROUP!” someone is shouting up ahead, and that's you, so you put on a burst of speed and overtake Bec and grin, because there they are, all three of them ready and waiting.

Jake sees you first and waves enthusiastically. “JADE! OVER HERE, OLD GIRL!”

“WHO ARE YOU CALLING OLD?” you yell back, but you crash into him hug-first so he knows you aren't really upset.

“What the fuck ith going on?” asks Sollux, and you don't question how certain he is that you will be able to answer that question.

“We were betrayed,” you say, and see the shock on Jake's face and the resignation on Sollux and Aradia's. “The Grey Guard are on their way. I saw them.”

“Bloody hell,” says another familiar voice, and you look up at your Dad in mingled guilt and surprise. You hadn't even noticed that he and your Mom were standing there.

“We should get moving,” your Mom says, sparing an affectionate shoulder-squeeze for you and Jake. The veiled priestess of the Rogue at the centre of your little group nods.

“Alright,” she said. “This is everyone, but if you see any stragglers on the way past, pick them up. We're leaving in a hurry, here.”

You follow her in a clump through the room, and you actually do pick up a couple more people. Jake waves over a lost-looking woman on the verge of tears, and Sollux of all people breaks formation to grab a crying child with no visible supervision. He hands the chubby toddler off to your Dad within moments, face twisted in disgust.

Jake claps him on the back. “Jolly good of you, sport,” he says. If anything Sollux's face grows darker.

There's about ten of you in the end who leave through the southernmost door- you still have your orison active, pointing the lodestone in your head due north- and you follow the Rogue priestess through the corridors. You watch what she does carefully, because she's not a follower of the Page and who even knows if she was paying attention in emergency evacuation guide training, but since none of you get brutally slaughtered by a trap you guess she knew what she was doing after all.

Then you turn a corner and find yourself face-to-face with a squad of grey-clad figures. Except for the first time their hoods are down, and you can see who you've been fighting this whole time.

Pale skin. Red-tinted eyes that shine in the torchlight. Hungry smiles that show gleaming fangs.

 _“Run!”_ your guide yells, and you do, all of you, back the way you came and down a different corridor. Your guide quickly overtakes you and starts leading you in a different direction, but it's hurried, frenetic, and a few times a spurt of fire or a clatter of crossbow bolts tell you that a trap was missed. Your heartrate rockets. Part of you wants to turn, to stand and fight, but you know that's a dumb plan. Apart from the half-dozen civilians you've got with you, there's the fact that there are way too many Grey Guards for anything like that to work for long.

Your Dad is carrying a kid and Aradia's breathing funny and Jake keeps looking behind the group, so when you look around and find that you, Bec and Sollux are leading the pack you're not exactly surprised. You start to slow, though, wondering if maybe it would be better to hang back to protect the others, when you catch sight of a carved stone in the floor that the priestess of the Rogue is about to step on.

“No!” you shout, throwing yourself forwards to knock her away. She stumbles back, but you fall, and with an ominous click your hand hits the carving. There's a loud bang and a puff of dust, and then you're staring at a wall where there was a corridor before.

Bec sniffs at your hair, and beside you Sollux lets out a howl.

“ARADIA!”

You scramble to your feet and grab his arm, trying to tug him away, but he slaps your hand away. “Thith ith your fault!” he yells, voice shaking, then hammers with a blue-lit fist on the stone wall. “ARADIA!”

“Sollux!” you shout, grabbing him again. “Sollux, she's getting out of here with the others! We don't have time to get back through there, we just have to get out and meet up later!”

The glare he turns on you could scorch steel, but he nods. You drop his arm and start hurrying away.

“Do you know where to go?” he asks, and despite the bite in his words you can hear fear underneath.

“Sort of,” you say, examining your options. You've been headed sort-of South ever since you left the main chamber, but the south-most passage is covered in suspicious flagstones. “I'll need some help, though.”

Sollux sighs, but you feel him step up next to you. “Fine. Let'th do thith.”

You nod and rest one hand on Bec's scruff, leading both of them down the west-facing corridor. Your nerves are tingling, and you can't shake the worry that even if you get out of here, Jake, Aradia, and your parents will be long gone.

### Suggestions Used

 _1JakoftheMoon1 -_ Aradia: Go over the strange book with Jake. Maybe there's something you can help discover.

 _Ms Arano -_ Aradia: remember more of your own dreams. Or someone elses dreams. You're not actually sure??

 _TheBookwormBakery -_ Jake: Now that you've had your vision thingy, start noticing spirographs everywhere. (This happens with a bunch of things in real life so why not with a magic spirograph in a story about adventures.)

 _TheWorldsMinion -_ Jade/Bec: Discover a double agent.

 _ttd0000 -_ Leader of the Light Seer's church: Enemies are everywhere, even your puppet oracle has turned traitor. Your total control of Porthaven can only last so long. Fortunately, it's lasted long enough. Let the purge begin!

 _Darwin G'wein -_ The Undead: Get crackin'! You have less than a year before predestination has you taking over the world, and the heroes don't get to win just because you're unprepared.

 _beetle -_ Party: Split unexpectedly

 _1JakoftheMoon1 -_ Sollux and Aradia: split up

### System Notes

Aradia's fortitude save = 7 (FAILED)  
ARADIA SPENDS 1 HERO POINT FOR +4 TO THE ROLL AND PASSES HER FIRST SAVE. 2/3 HERO POINTS REMAIN.  
Aradia's second fortitude save = 17 (PASSED)  
ARADIA IS NOW CURED OF FILTH FEVER. SHE HAS STILL TAKEN CON AND DEX DAMAGE THAT MUST BE HEALED BEFORE SHE IS COMPLETELY HEALTHY.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew, three updates to three fics in three days! That was slightly exhausting!
> 
> This one may have been dashed off in a slight hurry. I've still got to sort out my writing patterns around my new job- I have much less time to write now, and although it should still theoretically be do-able I need to get my shit together better.
> 
> I've been really glad the last few weeks to see new readers and old readers re-picking up the story! Hello to you all, and welcome (or welcome back). It's great to have you aboard. Now hoist the sails and splice the mainbrace, me hearties, we be sailin' fer treasure. Arr!


	93. ==> Karkat: Deal With Other People's Shitty Decisions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Hero point votes:**  
>  Kanaya 1
> 
>  **Current Hero Points:**  
>  John 2/5, Rose 4/5, **Dave 3/3, Jade 3/3**  
>  Karkat 4/5, **Gamzee 3/3,** Terezi 4/5  
>  **Sollux 3/3,** Aradia 2/3, **Kanaya 5/5**  
>  Jane 3/5, Jake 3/5, **Roxy 3/3, Dirk 3/3**

## ==> Karkat: Deal With Other People's Shitty Decisions

“What I want to know is, how the fuck did Kanaya land in this mess?”

A silence meets your question. Up ahead, Douglas casts a sharp glare at his comrade. Adamas doesn't react at all, but you damn well know what a guilty back looks like. You grind your teeth. If you didn't need them to show you the way, you wouldn't want them around at all. You'd _almost_ reached the point where you might just barely trust Douglas, and then his friend pulled this beetleshit. The fact that you still can't figure out how anyone navigates through the green-infested open spaces of the Surface is the only reason you have not given in to your initial impulse to storm off and sort this fuckery out with nothing more than the throbbing might of your rage to aid you.

“Probably some idiot at the Guild mentioned it,” says Douglas, eventually. There's a growl in there.

“Presumably,” says Terezi, with a cheery grin. Behind her, Tamlin smirks.

“How much further?” you ask, because you're getting fed up of dealing with this shit. You've been walking since you got off the hay cart several miles back, and as much as you loathed the bug-infested, tickly fronds and the bone-rattling cart they came in, you hate walking more. Especially when you're trudging towards the stupidest village you have ever heard of to rescue one of the few decent people you've ever actually met.

You're going to chew out Kanaya's stupid ass, just as soon as you've saved it.

“What kind of fucking morons do you have around here, anyway?” you ask, sliding down a bank after the two surface-dwellers. You have to suppress a shudder. The mud smells weird and smears up your new clothes. “I thought I'd seen all kinds of bleating dumb-fucks, but what kind of gormless shit-for-brains sees a hole in their fence and their herd beasts missing and assumes evil magic is to blame? And who fucking listens to them? Is this an entire community of village idiots?”

“Ain't meaning as such there ain't no wicked motherfucking spellcraft at work, brother,” says Gamzee, ambling beside you. Somehow he keeps ducking around branches that whip out and smack you in the face, despite the shakes that he's still getting from withdrawal.

“Really? You're seriously going to...” You turn and glare at him, then curse when another branch hits you. _“Fuck!”_

“Watch where you're going, Karkles!” calls Terezi.

“He's right, though,” says Tamlin. You grudgingly accord him a smidgeon of respect, even though he's a glory-hogging smug douchewad. “Why would they think a witch was to blame?”

“Because they're all married to their fucking cousins,” snaps Douglas. “Who cares? The point is that the superstitious fuckwits are not going to handle the arrival of a drow priestess with gratitude and dignity.”

“Which does bring us back to the original question,” says Terezi. “How _did_ Kanaya end up out here alone? She is far too sensible to have taken an assignment where she was not welcome, unless it was somehow misrepresented.”

Adamas mutters something that to you sounds like: “If she was that sensible she should've checked the details before she left.”

Douglas punches him in the arm. “You ask me,” he says, a little too loudly. “Some lazy asshole was trying to get out of doing it himself.”

Said lazy asshole has nothing to say to that. You continue glaring at his back while you stomp along after him. If anyone or anything attacks unexpectedly, you can use him as a meat-shield, and you console your pulsing tide of anger with this plan.

You hear a sniff behind you. “We're there,” says Terezi, a moment before you step out from between the trees and... yep, that's a village up there on the hill, alright. You can see the squat, round houses clearly in the dark, silhouetted against the night sky. There aren't that many of them- you even consider re-evaluating that _village_ classification, because if there are more than three or four families living there you will willingly submit to watching one of Terezi and Tamlin's ridiculous duels. _In costume._ Actually, given that the foot-wide, overgrown goat track that you just spent the last few hours taking a merry jaunt down is what the local cartographers claim passes for a road around here, you are willing to bet that there is just one family living up there, regardless of how many family names it can boast.

Gods, you hate the Surface. If it wasn't for the fact that you hate Golgesi, dwarves, and being eaten by Deep-dwelling monsters more, you would never have gone past that first horrific sight of the sun.

“Right,” says Adamas, turning on the spot. “I showed you the way. Good luck.”

You step into his path without thinking about it, hand drifting to your sickle. “If you think you're ditching us out here, you can fucking think again,” you snap. “You made this mess, you help clean it up.”

Silence, deeper than the usual quiet of the night, falls over the group. He narrows his eyes at you and you remember, too late, how carefully you were all not bringing up the fact that this is his fucking fault. The look he's giving you could cut stone; you suspect he's trying to work out just how much work it would be to clean up all of your mysterious and bloody deaths. His eyes flick over to Douglas, whose lip rises in a barely perceptible sneer.

Perhaps there was a message in the sneer, or perhaps killing you all is more trouble than helping you. Either way Adamas shrugs and steps back. You let your hand move away from your weapon, but you keep an eye on the Tuatha man. You don't trust the creepy fuck, not with you or your friends. Whatever screwy sense of fair play insisted that he stick around for this, you wish it had kept its big noise-flap firmly shut.

Terezi you think feels similarly, given how intently she watches Adamas' back when you move off again. Beside you, Gamzee looks as if he's just taking a relaxed stroll, but you know better than to believe that. He was always good at hiding what went on under the surface, but it's only in the last couple of weeks that you've had the chance to see just how good he is at that deception. It scares you, sometimes, when you snap out of your trance in the middle of the night and he's not there. Sometimes you feel like part of you, buried deep down inside, is screaming at you and trying to get a message through.

“You handled that well.”

And then there's Tamlin. You wince as he falls into step beside you, slightly too close and his voice pitched slightly too low. Briefly, you consider that maybe you have too low a threshold for what constitutes flirty behaviour. Then he leans closer, breath tickling your neck, and your self-doubt is swallowed by the unexpressed desire to punch him in the kidneys and run.

“I feel like we don't get on so well,” says the Aelfen. Your eye twitches and you fight back the urge to say _No shit, fuckhead._ “It's a shame. You seem like a really interesting guy to be around.”

You hunch away from him, giving off as many “get the hell away” vibes as you can without resorting to outright assault. This, of course, only pulls him in closer. You can practically feel him batting his eyelids. “I'd love to spend more time together.”

A shadow looms past you, and then a long bony arm drapes itself across Tamlin's shoulders. You see a brief flicker of something pass over his face as Gamzee hauls him close.

“Hey, my magical golden motherfucker,” says your brother-in-spirit, grinning at the Aelfen with a mouth that you swear has more teeth in it than it did a month ago. “If you're all up and wanting to be spending time with all us as ain't the very spirit of the law, all you had to be doing was getting your motherfucking asking on.”

He steers Tamlin away from you, and you aren't sure whether to be glad that he came to your rescue or despairing about how close he's pressed to the other elf. Not that you think he'll get far- not if the look Tamlin is casting back at you is any indication- but now that his entire life isn't a gilded cage surrounded by vicious soul-sucking monsters you figure you should check and make sure that he's okay with what he's doing. At the very least, maybe you can install _some_ standards in him.

Lost in worry about Gamzee you almost miss the point where you walk into the village. It's less skin-crawlingly traumatic than your last entry into a Surfacer village, but you suspect that's mostly because the diurnal fuckwits are all trancing or asleep. You're sure they have their pitchforks sharpened and waiting ready.

“Now what?” whispers Tamlin. He's managed to break free from Gamzee, you are sorry to see.

“Now, we find Kanaya and get the fuck out of here,” you whisper back. “Terezi? Finding people is your speciality, right?”

Her response is a wide grin and a mouthful of Infernal syllables, which twist in the air before turning back and clinging to her. You see a bright, green-blue light settle under her skin, and she lifts her nose to sniff at the air with new purpose.

“She went this way,” says Terezi, trotting forwards. You follow her through the dark village, nerves on high alert. The houses are quiet, but there's a watchfulness to them that you remember from the Shanties. It's the sort of silence that lasts until you let your guard down.

Terezi's nose leads you all through the village and past the large hall at the end to a dirt track leading out towards the fields. You bite back on the urge to say something about how stunningly unexpected this ass-backwards development is, and roll your eyes instead. Douglas sees, and you share a moment of understanding and fellow-feeling.

The track ends at a trio of gates, hemmed in by fields on every side, and Terezi stops dead. She wrinkles her nose and your heart sinks.

“Too many people,” she says, turning in a slow circle. “I can't tell which way they went.”

You look out at the dark fields again and are met with a stunning lack of clues. Your vision doesn't penetrate more than a hundred and twenty feet through the shadows, and while that would be plenty in a decent underground environment all it does up here is let you really feel how much nothing you're surrounded by. Nothing which, as best you can tell, doesn't include Kanaya.

Gamzee's hand brushes against your arm. “Best friend,” he whispers, and you turn to see him looking towards Tamlin. The Aelfen is standing a few feet away from the rest of you, and instead of studying the fields he's looking up at the moons overhead. He's not saying anything for what you suspect is the first time in his life, but the words that aren't there tingle in your ears.

There's a shiver in the world, a sound almost like a giggle, and Tamlin turns back. There's a glow fading from his eyes, too dim for you to even see what colour it was. There's something wrong with his eyes, but he blinks and looks away before you can put your finger on it.

“This way,” he says, vaulting over the gate on the left. “There's a barn.”

“And we're just meant to take your word for it?” you ask, not moving. No-one else moves either, apart from Terezi. She slides into place behind you- not hiding, but standing by your shoulder. For a moment you're lost, not sure what to do with this unexpected solidarity, and in that moment Tamlin grins back over his shoulder at you all.

“Marked, remember?” he says, and taps where the Heart Mark would be on his skin. You sigh and start walking after him. The others fall in behind you; Terezi steps past and opens the gate ahead of you. You hesitate, then stride proudly through. You're a strong, independent guy and you don't need her permission to go anywhere... but it's the first time anyone's really shown you that particular courtesy and you are apparently a shameless sap for hollow gestures.

Less hollow than you had thought, though, because as you pass through Terezi whispers: “Happy with that story?”

“Not even slightly,” you whisper back, feeling better about your choices now that you're officially Conspiring With Terezi. Against Tamlin, too. It's the first time since you saw his smug face that you haven't wanted to strangle him to death with the engorged appendage of your own rage and loathing.

The field is full of something long and dry that tickles your nose, but that's hardly fucking new. More interesting is the barn that appears in view after a minute or two of following Tamlin's lead. It's large enough to hold entire families, and there's a dull resentment burning in your chest when you realise that this is where surface-dwellers keep their fucking _food._ Not that you're short yourself these days- fuck, some of the things you're wearing, you could probably go back to Golgesi and buy the Shanties in their entirety- but your sense that it's not _fair_ was born a long time ago and isn't that accepting of current events.

“She's in there,” says Terezi. You start to hurry forward and she grabs your shoulder. “She's not alone.”

You shake off her hand and take a moment to think. Douglas opens his mouth to speak and you cut him off.

“Gamzee, go round the back,” you say, thinking fast. “Don't let anyone know you're there unless we start screaming for help.”

“You got it, brother,” says Gamzee. He melts into the darkness like a fucking assassin, and you can see that the others are surprised. Even Terezi.

“You and you,” you say, pointing to your Tuatha guides. “You stay out here where you can't fuck anything else up.”

“Real tactful, kid,” says Douglas, perching on a nearby fence-post. “But sure. Should be funny to watch.”

Adamas glares at you. You don't think he'd be as restrained if Douglas hadn't been so quick to give his permission.

“Terezi, Tamlin, with me,” you say, walking forwards. “And for fuck's sake, keep the marks under wraps. We're in enough shit as it is.”

Terezi chuckles. “Commanding, Karkles? Adorable.”

“Shut up,” you add, flushing red. You're facing the wrong way to see, but you can imagine her wiggling her eyebrows suggestively.

The three of you manage a relatively silent approach to the barn, but you want to make an entrance, so you give the unlocked, unsealed door a good boot. To your everlasting humiliation it rattles harmlessly in its frame, your foot bouncing off. Terezi's snickering is just the sewage icing on the shit cake.

“Fuck this,” you say, and shove the door open with your hands instead. It flies back and bounces off the wall, and you stride in without even deigning to notice the two Aelfen who jump to their feet and brandish blunt-looking surface-dweller farm implements at you.

“Kanaya,” you say, focusing on the young woman seated in the middle of the floor. “You okay?”

“In a manner of speaking,” she says. “Physically unharmed, at least.” She tilts her head towards the loop of rope tied rather ineffectually around her waist, keeping her attached to a heavy wooden beam. Her hands are free. “I am rather glad you arrived, though.”

“Right.” You turn to the Tuatha. “You fuckfaces better let her go, or-”

“She's not our prisoner!” the woman on the left protests. The man on the other side of Kanaya nods vigorously.

“If she's not your prisoner, why the fuck is she tied up?” you ask, and too late an idea arrives in your mind, entirely unwelcome. “Augh, if this is some sort of sexual escapade then do not answer that question, I do not want to know, and I am leaving...”

“Karkat!” Kanaya sounds vaguely irritated. “I am a prisoner, but these two are guarding me from their fellow villagers as much as they are guarding their fellow villagers from me.”

You stare between the three of them, the two Aelfen looking nervous, and Kanaya staring at you tight-lipped. “Right. This makes no fucking sense and I do not have the patience to forage for meaning in this pit of writhing nonsense. I have spent this entire day dealing with surface-dweller bullshit and being terrified that my friend is dead. Start from the beginning.”

“It is hardly complicated,” says Kanaya, with a small sniff. “This job is hardly more complicated than advertised, simply more dangerous. There has been an act of vandalism which the locals believe to be the work of malevolent magic, and according to their prejudices I am a suspect. I will admit it is somewhat disheartening to my peace-keeping ambitions. I would most likely be dead already had my current hosts not intervened; my trial is due tomorrow, which is why I am glad to see you. I feel my chances are much increased by the presence of Terezi's legal experience, not to mention several heavily armed and imposing allies- I do assume Gamzee is about as well?”

You nod reluctantly. The Aelfen man looks about, gripping his pitchfork tighter.

“You could invite your friend in?” the woman suggests.

“Or we could not,” you snap. “Keep talking.”

“Not much else to say,” the man adds. “Except for how this whole thing's passed all sense. The only reason anyone thought magic in the first place was because of Azanin.”

Terezi's ears prick up. “Azanin?”

“He was staying with us,” says the woman. “As a labourer, you know? We needed the help for the season and he needed a place to stay and a job before he moved on. Didn't seem to mean any harm, but he set the village on edge.”

“Tiefling,” the man adds, seeing your confusion. “Not that anyone minded that much, at first. He kept himself to himself, didn't bother anyone.”

“Then the fence is broken in the night and the Lerousse girl doesn't show up 'til midday, bold as you please in the dress she wore the night before and straw in her hair,” says the woman, with a snort. “And I don't care what her father says, that was not the smile of a girl who was bewitched by dark magics.”

“Can hardly blame the lad for vanishing,” the man adds. “Not with how that fella was carrying on. Good thing he did, too.”

You might not be familiar with surface-dweller ways, but you've had enough accusations thrown at you and yours in your life to see the pattern. You groan and press both hands into your face.

“Idiots,” you say, to no-one in particular.

Tamlin makes a vaguely distressed noise. “He just left her here?”

“It hardly sounds like a committed relationship,” Terezi points out.

“Maybe, maybe not,” you say absently, thinking about how much trouble you're in with a hysterical parent and a village looking for blood. “Tieflings don't give a shit about spending every waking minute with their loved ones, but if they promise they'll come back they fucking well do. They have more than one sort of romance, too- I bet no-one's asked Miss Lerousse if it was actually concupiscent, although really that shit is none of their business, and if she's happy with what went down and this dumbass tiefling is then everyone really just needs to calm their tits and...”

Your voice trails off as you notice everyone staring at you. “What?”

“...you know a _lot_ about tiefling romance,” says Tamlin, eyebrow raised. You scowl and hunch over; laughing, Terezi slings an arm around your shoulders.

“We are all very impressed, Cherry-Eyes,” she says, her bony chin digging into your shoulder. “Where did you pick that up?”

“Why does it fucking matter where I learned it?” you snap, to cover the sudden uncomfortable realisation that you don't _know._ You assume it was something you learned from your mother or her friends, but you don't remember that and now that you're searching, you can't think of any reason why she would know either. “Why do you always have to stick your big bony nose into other people's business? Did I leave up a sign saying _hey, how about you ignore the actual physical peril your friends are in so you can mess with my head and mock me?_ No, I don't, and I know I don't because I'm fucking literate and would notice. Is this something they teach you at the Temple, to be an insufferable busybody, or is that just another disgusting personal habit in your vast collection?”

Terezi laughs. “Love you too, Karkles.” She plants a small kiss on your cheek and you can feel your skin burning from the inside out. It leaves you off-balance enough for her to step forward past you.

“So,” she says, grin widening. “You say there is going to be a trial?”

You groan again, and decide that whatever madcap capers result from this, you are not going to be held responsible.

### Suggestions Used

 _ttd0000 -_ Gamzee: Don't let on to anyone 'cept yer bestbro , your mentor, and maybe the detestable lawsis know how far you've kicked the withdrawal symptoms. Surrounded by potential enemies on all sides, you never know when an extra bit of surprise could be useful.

 _HUNRonin -_ John, Karkat and Roxy: showcase your amazing palhoncho skills. As they're therespective leaders of their groups in canon some badass commandering would be totally cool to see :)

 _J-Rook -_ Karkat: Surprise everyone with your knowledge on Tiefling romance, including yourself.

 _Oceanofmars -_ Someone (Probably Dave or Terezi or Jade): Respond to one of Karkats rants about how much he hates them with variation on "Love you too, Karkles." and Karkat gets the wind taken out of his sails.

 _TheWorldsMinion -_ Kanaya: Learn that your solo mission is more difficult than you had anticipated

 _Darwin G'wein -_ Kanaya: be more magical than the/a local witch, prompting a scandal in the magical market and splitting the town down the middle in a vicious dispute, thereby causing you to question your ability as mediator.

### System Notes

Terezi casts Bloodhound (2nd Level Inquisitor Spell) and gains the Scent special ability for the next 6 hours.  
CHECK TO FOLLOW SCENT TRAIL: SURVIVAL DC16  
Terezi's survival check = 14  
TEREZI GETS CLOSE TO KANAYA'S LOCATION, BUT CANNOT PINPOINT HER EXACTLY.

CHECK TO KICK A SIMPLE DOOR IN: STRENGTH DC13  
Karkat's strength check = 8  
KARKAT FAILS TO KICK THE DOOR IN.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bluh. This has been a bad couple of weeks for writing. But I have managed to set up a trial for Terezi next time I reach this story thread. ;]
> 
> I'm thinking I might take a break from LODAD at some point soon- skip an update to give me a break. I dunno. Haven't decided yet.


	94. ==> Dirk: Get Some Insight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Hero point votes:**  
>  Kanaya 1
> 
>  **Current Hero Points:**  
>  John 2/5, Rose 4/5, **Dave 3/3, Jade 3/3**  
>  Karkat 4/5, **Gamzee 3/3,** Terezi 4/5  
>  **Sollux 3/3,** Aradia 2/3, **Kanaya 5/5**  
>  Jane 3/5, Jake 3/5, **Roxy 3/3, Dirk 3/3**

## ==> Dirk: Get Some Insight

You've always been a lucid dreamer, but this time you're having trouble controlling the flow of the dream. You try to watch it instead, but it proves impossible to categorise. It's feelings over images, standing in a maze of mirrors and heart pounding with the fear that you'll never get out.

You open your eyes, and wake up.

“Oh, good!” Roxy looks over from where she's poking at something blackened and crispy. “Was totes gonna wake you if you didn't come round soon.”

“That'd be a straight-up crime.” You push yourself upright and stroll over to the fire. “What you got there?”

Roxy lifts the stick and frowns at the blackened thing. “Was meant to be breakfast.”

“Roxy, that is not fucking edible,” you say, crouching beside her. Gods, the thing isn't even identifiable. “It's arguable whether it ever came within three bites of nutrition.”

Roxy shrugs. “Yeah, I figured.” She tosses the stick, charred lump and all, into the fire. “You wanna go join Dave?”

“Depends. Where is he?”

“With Balder,” says Roxy, brushing off her hands and accepting your help to stand up.

You frown, remembering your uninterrupted night of sleep and... not much else. “Who's Balder?”

“He's the Aelfen guy who's been reverse-stalking us,” says Roxy. “Dave's watching him.”

“How come I don't get a watch?” you ask, semi-reflexively.

Roxy rolls her eyes and starts walking. You have to pause to avoid tripping over Frigglish before you follow. “You were all flat-out after being possessed by some creepy mask. You don't remember that?”

You frown. You do not remember that, and you do not like that fact in the least. Thinking back, the last thing you remember is grabbing Rose after she went grey, and seeing the grey move over your own skin...

...shit.

 _Save the swearing until you know what happened,_ you tell yourself firmly. It's not exactly a comforting thought, all the same.

“You didn't hurt us,” says Roxy. Your head snaps up to look at her; you try not to show your surprise, but you always forget how fucking good she is at reading the unreadable. Roxy flashes you a bright smile, which quickly fades. “We don't know where Rose and John and Janey went, though. They left you to guard Balder.”

“Hmm.” The cliché would be that thoughts are swirling in your head, but the cliché is too chaotic. You think like you rhyme, free-flowing but with precise rhythm, everything racing ahead to the next word to fit it together. It's a sort of magic that lets you shift the world around you, and right now it's fitting you into the facts you know.

There. In the centre of you, at the core of yourself, something that doesn't fit. You prod it, in a manner of speaking that has abso-fucking-lutely nothing to do with any actual physical prodding.

 _About fucking time,_ it thinks, in thoughts that are your own and yet not. You recoil like you've been bitten.

“Roxy,” you say, conversationally. “If I were to say that I wasn't one hundred percent convinced that I am no longer in any way under the influence of aforementioned cursed mask, how would you react?”

You're fooling no-one. You weren't trying to. Roxy tilts her head away from you.

“Pfft, we kicked your butt last time,” she says. She turns away again, apparently unconcerned, but you feel something press against your legs. Frigglish looks back up at you when you glance down, big green cat-eyes full of unnatural intelligence. Roxy may not be watching you, but she has eyes on you all the same.

You hear voices up ahead and focus on them, glad of the excuse to escape from whatever this shit is that's going on in your own head. Dave and your guest slash prisoner, you assume, but as you get closer you notice that you can hear three voices.

The mystery deepens when you walk around the rocky outcropping at the base of the cliff and see only two figures. The golden elf is sitting in the crook of the cliff, hands resting on his knees. Unbound, you note. Dave meanwhile is pacing in front of him, back and forth past his sword, which has been plunged into the earth. He looks slightly tired and pale; you wonder if he slept at all.

“Look, man, I'm not asking for your whole life story or anything,” says Dave. “I just want something to fucking go on, here. I'm like a starving man in the desert, and you're carrying this full waterskin and not giving me a drink. I'm going to die of dehydration and become a bleached skeleton, all the meat picked off my bones by scavengers. You want my dead, empty skull staring at you accusingly?”

“Of course not,” says the golden elf. His voice is mild, but there's some fire behind it. “And you have my apologies, lord, but the tale is long and bitter and I would prefer not to tarnish it with repetition.”

You frown. Something about his tone unsettles you, but you can't put your finger on what.

“I say we hang him up by his ankles,” says the mysterious third voice. “Slice a few fingers off. Then see how he feels about talking to us.”

“The fuck, seriously?” Dave aims a kick at his sword. “There is something wrong with you!”

The sword falls with a clatter. “I'm a weapon, fucknuts,” it says. You are surprisingly unsurprised by this shocking revelation. You had a _feeling_ about that sword. “And if you want people to co-operate with you, then you have to give them reasons to do that.”

The Aelfen looks a little pale. “Please, great one, don't cut my fingers off! Please!”

Or maybe it's just his attitude that's unsettling you, now you think about it. He doesn't seem afraid, or cocky. Every line of him is worshipful. It sets your teeth on edge in a way that's unfamiliar.

“Alright, playtime's over.” You stride up to them, overtaking Roxy as you live up to the secret half of your true name. “Start talking, sunshine. What do you know?”

“I don't want to-” the elf begins.

“Tarnish the story by telling it, I know.” You interrupt him and for a moment you think you see his lips tighten in irritation- only because you're watching for it, mind. “But I'm thinking that if you're calling this useless lump of misbegotten sword-love _great one...”_

“Thanks, bro,” says Dave. “That means a lot coming from you.”

“...then you have a seriously vested interest in not pissing us off.” You fold your arms. “Better get on that fast.”

The elf swallows, and glances over at Roxy. Frigglish walks past you and up to the man, where he sneezes a tiny kitty sneeze.

“I said we should mppffff!” The sword's voice is cut off as Dave sheaths it, burying the metal in a scabbard that has been wrapped with what looks like two cloaks and a blanket.

“My name is Balder Ikhnaton,” the elf says, and you don't bring up that you already knew that. His voice is taking on the familiar intonation of storytelling. Instead you focus on his face, trying to pick up on any sign of lies. “I'm a priest of the Starspire, or I was.”

He glances towards Roxy again. You still can't shake that uncomfortable feeling you have, but you can't pin it down either.

“Years ago, I had a vision,” he says, voice quavering slightly. “I would have said that my Goddess sent it to me, were it not for what the vision contained.”

“Is this what you said before?” asks Dave, his voice slightly sharp. “That bullshit about us being the actual Gods themselves?”

It takes all your self-control to only raise an eyebrow. Your right shoulder itches.

“It's true, Knight,” says Balder, and that shine is back in his eyes. “I Saw you all. I Saw you descend to the Material Plane, and take on mortal form. And I knew that I had to find you. To help you.”

“How?” you ask. He turns to you, surprised, and you clarify. “How did you know that was what you were meant to do, and not, say, write it down and sell the play-script?”

His jaw stiffens. “My vision might not have come from the Seer,” he says, hot rage burning below his words. “But it did come from the Light. And the Light illuminates all, my Prince; it shows us our Way and binds us to the path, burns away everything that doesn't fit to its design. _I know my purpose,_ and that purpose is to help you fulfil yours!”

He was lying. You don't know what about, but you're sure of it now, because every word he just spoke is the gods-honest truth. It blazes out of him hot and fierce, making his pretty story fade like shadows before the summer sun.

“So, according to the Light, what is our purpose?” you ask. He glances around furtively, as if someone might be listening in while you're in the middle of fucking nowhere, and leans towards you.

“To regain your Godly thrones,” he says, eyes shining with the light of the true fanatic.

 _Yeah, well, they call it “light” for a reason,_ thinks that little voice inside you that is and isn't you. _And I bet you're fucking loving this, aren't you, Dirk? Not just chosen by a god, but actually being one! You always were a supercilious dickwad._

You attempt to ignore the voice in your head- along with the fact that it doesn't seem to like you much- and turn your attention back on Balder.

“Look, maybe I'm not being clear here,” you say, unfolding your arms so you can draw your dagger and start nonchalantly picking your nails. You're such a fucking stereotype right now, but maybe it'll finally crack through the layer of religious stupid this sheltered priest is wearing. “When I asked what you knew, I was hoping to actually find out what you knew. Not what dramatic story you've been telling yourself for the past couple of decades- I assume it has been that long, right? Given that you say you saw us descending, and the state of some of your kit. Although some of it...” You reach out with the dagger and ignore his flinch, prodding the glittering headband he wears. “No way that isn't magic. You're decked out like the Emperor's favourite courtesan and you're always one step ahead of us, but you've never stopped by to say hi. And I don't like that.”

He blinks at you with golden eyes. If it weren't for the moisture in them, he could have been a statue, gold on gold. “I... I don't...”

“Does it make you feel important?” you ask, resting your arms on your knees as you crouch. Letting them dangle. “Chosen by the Light to aid the Gods. You must be something pretty fucking special, right? But here's the deal. You're not a God. You're not even the Avatar of one. Which means we fucking outrank you. So if you wanna help? _Start helping.”_

The elf swallows. “I didn't- look, it was what had to happen!”

“What was?” you ask, cold and statuesque as you can be. That's very. Right now you don't want to consider the whys of that, of how the gold, eyeless giant you've seen on pedestals might be _you._ “And why, exactly?”

“You had to be challenged!” he says, pushing back into the corner a little. “I only looked for ones that already existed. You needed quests to face, to prepare you.”

“Prepare us for what?” asks Roxy, behind you. You don't look around. You can guess what from what Rose has said- Rose, _the Seer of Light-_ but why? Why interests you.

“Evil,” says Balder. “Terrible evil in the halls of the Gods themselves. I don't know what, exactly, but what I sensed- it was powerful, and angry.” He shakes his head, looking between the three of you with wide eyes. “It will destroy everything,” he whispers. “And unless the Gods can shed their mortality and regain their former power, no-one can hope to fight against it.”

“So how do we do that?” you ask. Balder just shakes his head.

“That knowledge is not given to me,” he says. “I only know that through challenge you will reconnect with your true power.”

“Well, that's fucking useful,” says Dave. You frown. Clearly the evil Balder speaks of is behind the undead that Rose foresaw, but this would be easier if you weren't working with fragments of prophecy and patchwork guesses.

 _It seems that there is a one hundred percent probability that someone is bullshitting you,_ says the voice in your head. You ignore it. You know damn well you're being bullshitted; the only question is whether it's by destiny, the Light, Balder, or some other unknown force.

Fuck, for all you know you bullshitted yourself. Back when you were a God. The Prince of Heart. Holy shit.

“If our game is half-played, then who's played the rest of it?” you mutter, thinking of an old song about the Seer of Light falling to darkness.

“What's that?” asks Roxy.

“Just a song that seemed relevant,” you reply. Another line jumps to mind. “I am the beast, I am the light, I am the blighted being cursed with sight.” You turn away from Balder. “It's like the mask.”

“What?” says Dave. You think on reflex.

“The mask. It's not _bad,_ exactly, just... dark.”

“Dude, you attacked us.” Dave doesn't seem happy about this. “I nearly killed you! Balder pulled you right back from the brink.”

Ah. That would be _why_ he doesn't seem happy. You nod to Balder; you may not trust him, not yet, but you can acknowledge a debt. “Thanks, dude.”

Balder nods, seeming to sense that words are not his best choice here.

“So what about the mask?” asks Roxy. “Balder, you were there. Did you have any, like, visions or dreams or _anything_ about it?”

But the elf shakes his head. “Only that it is ancient, and powerful,” he says. “And that it sends those unwary enough to touch it into madness.”

“No,” you say, before his words have time to sink in. “Not madness. Uncovering. It finds something that's already inside you and brings it to the surface.” You shudder and hope no-one sees. “The part of you that's barely you at all. I think... I think that it reacted so strongly to us because we have so much power. If we really are gods, then maybe it was trying to pull us out of these forms.”

“Really?” Roxy cocks her head. “Huh. That's kinda nice of it.”

“Yeah,” says Dave flatly. “Nice. Let's all go find the creepy mask and give it a big welcoming hug.”

_It seems your brother has a talent for stating the obvious._

_I know._

Frigglish stiffens, ears pricking up away from the cliff. You turn, hand going to the hilt of your sword, and tilt your own ear into the wind.

“What is it?” asks Balder. You make an abrupt gesture with one hand and Roxy shushes him.

There's a sound drifting in on the wind, haunting and fey. Music, a low hum overlaid with lyrical wails. Part of you would love to study it, but the rest remembers hearing that song in the dark nights when your clan travelled across these lands, and huddling beneath blankets while the adults doused the fires.

“Orcs,” says Dave, a heartbeat ahead of you. “Shit!”

“Wha-?” Roxy spins, confused, as the two of you race to gather your things. It's too late, of course, but hope springs eternal or so you hear.

“Orcs only sing like that when they're closing in for battle,” you tell her, tossing your slightly bloodied bedroll into the caravan. Maplehoof snorts at you anxiously; she knows what Orcs sound like, too. “We need to leave before they arrive.”

“Too late!” yells Dave, and you look up to see them marching over the crest of the hill towards you. There are approximately three hundred fucktons of Orcish warriors, and the humming increases in volume as they see your caravan.

“Shit.” You draw your sword and start searching through your memory for a decent battle poem. All you can think of are the words to that stupid old song, though, and even if it was any good for shaping your power you could never quite sing it right.

Out of the corner of your eye you see Balder get to his feet and find a slightly crooked quarterstaff to fight with. You need to get him a better weapon, if he's sticking around, but that's a background thought right now. Next to you on the other side, Roxy fumbles through her bag and pulls out a small golden whistle.

“What's that?” you ask.

“Dunno,” she says. “But it's not gonna make things worse!” Before you can argue that point, she's lifted it to her mouth and blown it.

The whistle splits the air. Literally. As the shrill scream rises, you see almost invisible planes slip and slide against one another. It's disconcerting to say the least. Unfortunately, it seems to do precisely jack shit to stop the oncoming horde.

“Nice whistle,” says Dave. “Hey, blow it again, maybe it'll stop us from hearing the creepy music!”

You draw your sword and start reaching into yourself for the magic that will speed your way. The voice inside you is laughing. You can hear the drone of the marching Orcs clearly now, and there are words to that song in a language you're almost glad you don't speak.

Thunder claps in the clear sky overhead.

At first you don't see anything when you look up, but then you notice that a patch of the blue sky is moving. Half your attention stays focused on the approaching Orcs- six hundred yards away, five hundred, four- but the rest stares, dumbstruck, as it hurtles down from the sky.

A long, sinewy body. Scales that shimmer between white and blue in the sunlight. A horse-like head with small eyes, burning with crackling blue fire. Talons as long as you are hight that could crush steel. Bat-like wings that stretch out wide enough to cover an entire street of houses.

The dragon lands between you and the Orcs and, turning its head to the sky, lets out a roar that crackles with blue lightning. The singing stops. So do the Orcs. You notice wisps of fog drifting up from the four small horns atop its head.

Then the dragon's head dips and, in a deep voice that no elf or aasimar could ever possess, says: “WHAT'S THE MEANING OF ALL THIS, THEN?”

### Suggestions Used

 _1JakoftheMoon1 -_ LPoS: instruct Dave on dirty fighting techniques.

 _TheBookwormBakery -_ Dave: what.

 _1JakoftheMoon1 -_ Dirk: Totally pry open someone's privacy, for absolutely important reasons of course.

 _1JakoftheMoon1 -_ Dirk: There is a voice in your head that argues with you. Freak out with a straight face. Telling people is optional.

 _J-Rook -_ Dirk: quote the Lyrics of a ancient song about the seer of light and/or her oracles falling to darkness [[Homestuck Fansongs by PhemieC, "Leviathan, the Girl"](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7glwspw5GeE&feature=kp)]

 _TheWorldsMinion -_ Dirk: Give some insight into the nature of the mask

 _1JakoftheMoon1 -_ Roxy: Interrogate Aelfen. Ask what that mask thing is, hopefully he knows how to stop it without scarring Rose for life.

 _ttd0000 -_ Grimdarkness: Turn out to be Good, just in a way that is so alien, wrongheaded, amoral, and bizarre as to be indistinguishable from Evil.

 _ttd0000 -_ Orcs: Turns out, some of you DO sing lullabies to your enemies. Or rather, you sing songs before you attack. They're really creepy and demoralizing.

 _Woe Kitten -_ Roxy: Play around with the dragon whistle. Alternately, remember that you are a wizard and can cast Identify.

 _HUNRonin -_ Breezecaller, the Heir's oldest paladin: Be relevant to the story at present somehow. In an awesome way.

### System Notes

Dave's fort save = 5 VS DC 18  
DAVE FAILS TO RESIST RAVEN PLAGUE. HE TAKES 1D4 = 3 CON AND 1D2 = 1 STR DAMAGE.  
Dirk's Sense Motive = 22 VS Baldur's Bluff = 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To the person who suggested that Roxy, being a wizard, could cast Identify: she can't. Firstly because it's not in her spellbook, and secondly because it's a Divination spell and would thus cost her an extra spell slot to memorise. Which doesn't mean she _can't_ cast it, I guess, but it's hardly an easy or simple process for her! For similar reasons she is unlikely to ever Detect Magic.
> 
> Roxy is not your typical D&D wizard in _so many ways._
> 
> I may have stretched things on LPoTS “instruct Dave on dirty fighting techniques”, though. Ah, well, nevermind. It all worked out in dragons by the end! :)
> 
> Like I said yesterday, I love Dirk as a character. He can be tricky to write though! Tune in next time for a BRAND-NEW, never-before seen type of LODAD filler chapter!


	95. -- 617: strategistTranscendent --

A young PHOOKA stands in his room. Look at yourself. Now back to this guy. Now back to yourself. Now back to this guy. Sadly, you are not this guy, but if you started the introduction properly instead of fucking about with this opening paragraph, then you could pretend to be him for a while.

He has a SWORD.

[ ](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/hpanqtf062c2q0c/Dagdah%20Maninder.png?dl=0)

**== > Who’s this SUPERCILIOUS DOUCHEBAG?**

You are now DAGDAH MANINDER. Look left. Now right. You’re in a network of ANCIENT SEWER TUNNELS AND CATACOMBS. Why? Because you live here. Look up. That door leads to a THIEVES’ GUILD training hall. You use that to keep your reflexes sharp and your wits sharper. Think fast! What else? You have access to all the assets of the Guild. That’s a lot of accumulated wealth and knowledge, and that’s a good thing. But wait, what about sleeping? No problem. You have a cosy space just off the LIBRARY.

Do you want to be a LOVER, a FIGHTER, or a MAGE? Why not ALL THREE? Over there, ESOTERIC BOOKS. Over here, OBSIDIAN SWORD OF DESTINY. Look behind you, there’s a WARDROBE. Do lovers want the sort of guy who owns a dozen silk shirts and can tell cerulean from cobalt? HELLS FUCKING YES. Anything worth doing is worth doing in STYLE, and you have style in Spades. Or was it Diamonds? You definitely have DIAMONDS. They’re sewn into some of your more EXTRAVAGANT WAISTCOATS.

Look down. Here’s where you keep the STRATEGY GAMES. Board games or computer games? Wrong question. You keep both and play them every day. You’re a man of ACTION, and that takes THOUGHT. It’s good to KNOW THE RULES, and you know how to BREAK THEM. You also know how to BREAK HEADS, which is why you’re a HERO and not a ZERO. Self improvement is a way of life; that’s why you write POETRY. Are you any good at it? No. But attractive people love it when you write them poetry, so you keep trying anyway. You’ve been told you’re very trying. Is that a compliment? No. But you’ll take it as one. Anything is possible when you use your head and are this guy.

You have five good friends who you will soon play a game with. Your BEST FRIEND is probably WS. Knows less than you, but thinks more. That keeps you SHARP, and you like that. You’ve got another good buddy in IN. STRANGE GUY, but you’re not going to question. You talk MAGIC. It’s good. Then there’s the three lovely ladies. Well, two lovely ladies and one TERRIFYING FORCE OF NATURE. Do you FLIRT with them? Yes. Do you FLIRT with your guy friends? Yes, but they don’t notice. The ladies do. You think CN tried to kill you with a MAN-EATING PLANT recently. Time to back off? Probably. Got to RESPECT a girl who won’t take shit off anyone. DX, you discuss her finds with, and offer ADVICE gleaned from your training. It’s interesting. CH gets cross with you. You like her music.

You talk to your friends on the AETHERNET, using the spiritmark **strategistTranscendent** [ ST]. ST speaks with immaculate erudition, but discusses himself in the third person and is prone to non-sequiturs. He still has a sword.

[ ](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/96k8ew00d0xa2pk/LOCAM%20Titled.png?dl=0)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so I introduce you to the first of what I call "the Eventual Elves"- the six young elves who will eventually play Sburb/Sgrub for the world of LODAD. _Why is this relevant?_ I hear you cry? Well, firstly, 'cos it's fun. And secondly, 'cos like all players, these guys are paradox clones of someone...
> 
> As a side note for those who are wondering; I came up with the Eventual Elves before we were introduced to the Dancestors in Homestuck, which is why Dagdah's "Knight of Mind" is not very similar to Latula's. *Shrugs* Nonetheless, I feel it important to express that Dagdah is nowhere near as cool as he claims to be. He is a li'l shit. :)


	96. ==> Jake: Lose Your Patience... And Your Protection

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **HERO POINT AWARD FORGOTTEN LAST WEEK!**
> 
> **Hero point votes:**  
>  Kanaya 1  
> Aradia 1  
> KANAYA ALREADY HAS MAX HERO POINTS! ARADIA GAINS 1 HERO POINT!  
> Voting now open for the next Hero Point award: one person will get one after three chapters.
> 
>  **Current Hero Points:**  
>  John 2/5, Rose 4/5, **Dave 3/3, Jade 3/3**  
>  Karkat 4/5, **Gamzee 3/3,** Terezi 4/5  
>  **Sollux 3/3, Aradia 3/3, Kanaya 5/5**  
>  Jane 3/5, Jake 1/5, **Roxy 3/3, Dirk 3/3**

## ==> Jake: Lose Your Patience... And Your Protection

You're in a right pickle and no mistake.

Getting cut off from your comrades would have been quite bad enough, but in a rather unfortunate turn of events it also means that your small band has had your means of egress blocked. You are in a dead end- one with an unpleasantly high chance of becoming literal.

“We'll have to head back,” says your guide. She's pale behind her veils, and you get the distinct impression that the priesthood of the Rogue are accustomed to more pedestrian adventures. You can't say you're feeling much love for your current predicament, either.

“But Jade!” your Elfpop says, adjusting his grip on the young lad he's hoisting. Elfmom gives him a surreptitious kick in the ankle. “And Sollux,” he adds, no less sincere for his momentary lapse of memory. “We can't leave them behind!”

You feel much the same way and have just opened your mouth to express this salient point when Aradia chimes in.

“They'll be fine,” she says. You whirl to look at her, flabbergasted, and see a gleam in her ganderbulbs that gives you the shivers. “They're much safer than we are right now, anyway!”

The second of silence that passes seems much, much longer.

“Right, then!” you say, because you are an elf of action and not at all because the fear of being slaughtered by undead monsters is gnawing you open from the inside out, no siree! “Let's get moving!”

Your Elfmom's hand rests briefly on your shoulder as you set off. You're glad of that.

At first as you race back towards the last intersection you are puzzled. You were certain the vampires- because that's what they are, vampires, the Grey Guard are vampires and Porthaven is in right to-do- you were certain they were right behind you. But the large, echoing corridor is empty.

Then you hear the laughter. Laughter from up above you. You have a brief but enlightening memory of witnessing a wildcat in the forest capturing a small, rodentine creature. It played with its prey for nearly twenty minutes before killing it. Vampires, you imagine, are much more patient.

“Oh gods,” whimpers a voice from the middle of your retreating column. A man's voice, but not one you know.

“Keep moving,” Elfpop says. You wonder if other people think you sound as falsely jolly when you're terrified out of your wits.

“We should split up,” your guide says. Her eyes are narrowed at the shadows overhead, although none of you can see a bally thing.

“Why, so they can split up too?” a woman demands. Suddenly it seems like everyone has an opinion; your whole group lags to an uncertain halt, huddling together and arguing in whispers. You swallow and finger at the amulet around your neck, just to reassure yourself that it's still there.

“We're pretty much dead!” says Aradia. She's giving you a chirpy grin that makes your stomach flip-flop.

“Not yet, we're not,” you say, with an involuntary glance up to the shadows overhead. They scare you worse than Aradia right now, but not by much.

She laughs. “That's the spirit! But really, we're outnumbered, and they're already dead, so there's not much we can do.”

You frown. “Well, I'd hardly say that's something to be chipper about. Unless you have a plan?”

“Mmmaybeee,” she hums, rocking back and forth a little. “But it's risky!”

There's something wrong with her, you're sure of it now, and you're starting to get a horrible feeling that you know if not what, then why. You always thought she kept Sollux grounded, but maybe... just maybe... you haven't seen the whole story.

You're stuck in a maze with a pack of panicking civilians, a horde of hungry vampires, and a slowly maddening adventurer for an ally. For a moment you wonder if maybe you weren't better off in Golgesi with that bothersome Matriarch.

“Well, risk is better than eaten,” you say brightly. “Whatever it is, I'm in!”

“Oh, good!” says Aradia, and without any further warning she grabs your hand and starts pulling you off up the hall. Her hand is dry and hot. Too hot.

“Hey!” you protest. “Slow down, there!”

“Jake!” yell your Elfmom and Elfpop, in terrified unison.

“Nothing to worry about!” you call back. “Don't mind us!”

Aradia flicks her hand and mutters something, and a red light starts to billow off her. As it rises it becomes a heavy fog, settling in along twenty feet of the corridor ahead of you and covering the span of the next intersecting corridor. You are suddenly submersed in it, surrounded by eerie shadows that whisper and chitter in your ears. You grit your teeth and ignore it; it is clearly some manner of arcane illusion, that's all, and you're not about to lose your nerve over it!

“Come on!” Aradia yells, and one by one your fellows flee into her mist. Most of them fall silent aside from a few whimpers and squeals of panic. The little boy buries his face in your Elfpop's shoulder, and your Elfmom has to drag one or two people in while they turn pale and shake their heads, but in moments you're all concealed.

Then Aradia silently stabs a finger towards one corridor, and tugs you in the opposite direction. You frown, trying to work out her plan as the Priestess of the Rogue nods. Nonetheless, you follow her. Whatever plan she has in mind, you'd have to be a terrible bounder to let her work it alone.

Then, as you race away from the rest of the group, Aradia's fingers flicker again and the air around you bursts into sudden cacophonous life. It's still only the two of you running, but gosh darn it if you didn't know that you would swear the whole band of you were underway. The point of her deception is immediately clear, and becomes clearer still when you recall that a follower of the Rogue is uncommonly likely to be skilled at illusions. Your parents-by-blood and the rest can escape by stealth while the vampires follow a juicier target.

Gosh darn it.

Still, you look sharp and put your best foot forward, because you'll be damned if you're about to play the lily-livered fool and become dinner for a bloodsucker. Aradia has no need to tow you along, not when you're keeping pace with her. Over and over her fingers flicker, casting and recasting the spell that creates the sound.

“So...” you pant, racing in her wake. “Did this plan... have a second... part?”

“Not yet!” Aradia says, darting off down a side passage so quickly that you almost don't manage to turn with her. Your feet skitter on stone. You hope that you're not about to run into another one of those mechanical traps this place is littered with, because there's not a miner's chance in gravel that the pair of you would avoid it, not at this breakneck pace.

Behind you there rises an angered screech. It sounds like nothing elven. At a guess, you would say that the vampires have rather keen darkvision and have finally noticed there's only two of you.

 _They're long gone,_ you tell yourself, thinking of your fellow escapees. It's only somewhat comforting, given that your hunters are now irascible in addition to hungry.

All in all, if this is civilisation, you'd rather go back to the Clanhold and call it even.

“Run faster?” you suggest. Aradia nods and stops casting her cantrip of phantom sounds. Without the need to concentrate she picks up speed and you run all-out beside her, as fast as you can go down the corridor. An unearthly laugh from behind is met by Aradia's own laughter, wild and unhinged. You see her out the corner of your eye, her hair flying, red eyes all but glowing in the dark. She looks beautiful and glorious and straight out of a nightmare. You can almost see her wearing the shadows like a tattered cloak.

Taken aback by your companion, you almost see it too late. Your cry of warning brings you both skidding to a halt in front of a large metal door. It spans the width and height of the corridor, and the metal facing is worked into intricate knots and whorls. A patina of age hangs over the bronze, reflecting dimly the green-tinted light of the surrounding torches.

“Wow,” says Aradia, her eyes sparkling with the same light. “Look at that!”

“Jolly impressive,” you agree, eyeing the shadows behind you with distrust. “But it would be a damned sight more impressive if we could get the bally thing open.” You can tell even without trying that there's no way the two of you are going to be able to budge that weight. There must be some mechanism or spell to open it, but you're rather afraid that you are going to be eaten before you can work out what that might be.

“It looks old,” says Aradia. “We must be near the heart of the Temple. I wonder how long this has been here?” She grins. “I wonder what's behind it?”

“You wouldn't have to wonder if it was open,” you say, backing up. You definitely just saw the shadows move. Everything has gone quiet again, eerily silence pressing in around you.

They're there. You can feel them watching.

Aradia seems utterly oblivious. She reaches out and brushes her hand over the surface of the door, heedless of the approaching undead. “Look at this metalwork! You were raised by dwarves- have you ever seen anything like it?”

“No,” you say. Snap, really. Your patience is wearing a mite thin, perhaps. “Can you get the perfidious thing open or not?”

“Yep,” says Aradia. There might be a slight hint of something in her voice, but you haven't a single thought what because you just saw something pale moving in the darkness, and oh gods, they're here.

“DO IT!” you shriek, as a pale-skinned figure wreathed in grey hurtles towards you, a half-dozen more hot on their heels. “OPEN THE DAMN DOOR ALREADY, WOMAN!”

With a snicker that has no right to exist under the circumstances, Aradia snatches the protective amulet from around your neck and throws it aside.

You start to gibber. What you say is meaningless and soon forgotten, even by you, but the general gist of mingled disbelief and terror is quite clear. Aradia ignores it and pulls you aside as the doors swing outwards and a massive form looms forwards.

It's easily twenty feet tall, head scraping the top of the corridor. It has to stoop slightly to make it through the door. Blank stone eyes stare from a head that slowly turns, scans for threats. It's the second statue of the Page you've seen in this Temple, and it's the smaller of the two. You think that this one is considerably more impressive.

The vampires slow their charge and come to a halt. The golem stares unblinking at them, although it cannot possibly see by any mundane means. Then, with a rumble of stone that fills the entire world, it attacks. You have time to see the Grey Guard falling back before the onslaught before Aradia grabs your arm and starts to drag you around the back of the battle, out the way you came. Glancing back, you note that the space behind the vault is a tall, square chamber, with no entrances or exits to it besides the giant door.

“You knew,” you gasp, narrowly avoiding being crushed by a great stone cutlass. Chill vampiric blood splatters across the tile and you shield your face with your hand.

“I guessed,” Aradia corrects. The two of you are racing neck-and-neck again. “A door like that, there had to be something cool behind it!”

Right there and then you decide that you must be crazy, too, because you actually found that reassuring. Puzzling over that conundrum, you almost miss the turn-off in the dark.

“This way!” you say, spinning to the right. Aradia doesn't question, but follows you, down a hall that you chose for reasons that aren't certain to you. It's like you know this place all of a sudden, as if its turns and twists and traps are familiar to you...

“Roll!” you shout, a fraction of a second before jets of fire stream from the walls at waist-height. You and Aradia tumble past them together and are up and running before the light has finished dying away.

“Jump!” you shout at the next junction, and the spinning blades that try to cut you off at the ankles miss. There's a pit just beyond them which you leap with abandon, then you skid to a halt before the corridor can lead you to a spike-filled dead end. Aradia lands gracefully beside you, and if you're being honest the whole thing is starting to wig you out slightly now.

“Where next?” Aradia asks. Without a word you walk up to the nearest support column, and press down on three of the leaves carved into it. A door concealed by the stone vines swings open, and green torches flicker into life to reveal a staircase that winds down into darkness.

“You knew,” says Aradia.

“I guessed,” you say. It's a lie. You didn't guess a damned thing and she knows it.

The two of you set off down the secret passage, the door swinging quietly shut behind you. Maybe there are vampires waiting ahead, but you don't think there are. The dust is too heavy down here. You take one of the magical torches from its sconce- no point wasting your own magical lights, here- and Aradia runs her fingers along the walls as you walk.

“I've seen these carvings before,” she says, reverent. “Jake, do you know how many ancient ruins have these images?”

“More than a few, I'd warrant.” It makes sense to you. This Temple was built in the spirit of adventure. You weren't even raised in this religion, you don't know these alien gods, but you understand. A Temple to the Page isn't complete while it's in use. It only becomes whole when it's begun to crumble.

“Amazing,” Aradia says. You don't reply, but you make sure to tilt the torch towards anything that catches her eye. Under different circumstances, you think you'd find her charming company for the trip. As it is you feel hemmed in by the tunnel walls. You cannot wait to be free and clear of this accursed city!

You hear it first; water, in motion and up ahead. Next is the smell, salty air and rotting seaweed. You aren't shocked when you walk out from behind a rock into a seaward-facing cave, or when a brief walk over white sand lets you look out of the cave mouth and into a vast, hidden cove in the cliffs that border Porthaven to the south.

What does surprise you a little are the ships. There are three of them, all swarming with activity, and it doesn't take you long to spot the dark green cloaks of the Page's followers in amongst the massed people below. An explorer's harbour, become a refugee's route.

You don't see the rest of your group down there, but it doesn't mean a darn thing. Your group wasn't headed for the ships. You glance at Aradia, and there is no question as to what you will do. Your choices are simple; to head back into a vampire-infested, trap-riddled labyrinth with little to no protection, or to make an orderly retreat and hope that your friends- your family- are tough enough to make it and meet up with you later.

Hand-in-hand you head down to the dock, trying to ignore the persistent little voice in your skull that thinks going back would have been the better option, after all.

### Suggestions Used

 _1JakoftheMoon1 -_ Vampires: Its just a bunch of frightened non-dead people, no need to take them too seriously.

 _ttd0000 -_ Jake: Try to step up as a substitute Sollux, cause without him Aradia seems to be going slightly mad; showing a creepier and more disturbing side to herself.

 _sionnachsSkulk -_ Jake: Have your patience pushed to the absolute limit. (because I'm evil like that. :3 )

 _AndIMustMask -_ aradia: I dont care how old and amazing this door is, JUST OPEN THE DAMN VAULT ALREADY WOMAN.

 _TheWorldsMinion -_ Jake/Aradia: Lose your protective amulets, well things just got a lot more interesting

 _1JakoftheMoon1 -_ Some Guardian type thingy: Guard your ward, whatever it may be. Violence is recommended.

 _OceanofMars -_ Anyone: Run into Followers Ships

System Notes  
Resisting Aradia's Haunting Mists Spell = DC 15  
JAKE SPENDS 1 HERO POINT BEFORE ROLLING FOR +8 TO THE CHECK.  
Jake's will save = 17  
Aradia's will save = 26  
NEITHER IS AFFECTED BY THE SPELL, ALTHOUGH JAKE ONLY PULLS THROUGH ON HEROIC WILLPOWER.

JAKE SPENDS 1 HERO POINT TO NAVIGATE SAFELY OUT OF THE TEMPLE OF THE PAGE. 1/5 HERO POINTS REMAIN.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello here is chapter now I must go update other fic because I forgot to do it two days ago k thx bye.


	97. ==> Terezi: You Are the LAW

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Hero point votes:**  
>  Jake 3  
> John 1
> 
>  **Current Hero Points:**  
>  John 2/5, Rose 4/5, **Dave 3/3, Jade 3/3**  
>  Karkat 3/5, **Gamzee 3/3,** Terezi 4/5  
>  **Sollux 3/3, Aradia 3/3, Kanaya 5/5**  
>  Jane 3/5, Jake 1/5, **Roxy 3/3, Dirk 3/3**

## ==> Terezi: You Are the LAW

“Witchcraft!”

You lean forwards, hands resting on the top of your cane. The Aelfen is putting on an excellent performance, you think; he's an older elf, old enough for it to actually show, and his silver hair shifts dramatically with every wave of his arms and aggrieved toss of his head.

“Darkest sorcery!” he continues, swinging a finger around the village square. The crowd, who largely consist of his friends and neighbours, gasp. The finger settles in on Kanaya, who in accordance with your instructions attempts to remain calm. You don't expect that any of these surface-dwellers pick up on the nervous flutter of her eyelids, even if they have taken her dark glasses.

That, more than anything, strikes you as ignorant. Suspicion, paranoia and hysteria are all fairly normal, but failing to think that an elf born to darkness might need some protection from the light? That makes you think Karkles might have a point about these people and their general levels of intelligence.

“This foul enchantress was hired by her wicked accomplice to bewitch my daughter!” the Aelfin yells. His name is Lerousse, you recall. The couple who even now are standing beside Kanaya briefed you thoroughly on the case, once you managed to convince them of your sincerity.

Lerousse also seems sincere. You take a moment to be impressed by his capacity for self-deception, and another to notice how his daughter is nowhere to be seen.

“Mark my words, it's her powers that desecrated our shrine!” the man shouts. “Remember what she said? A priestess of the Sylph! She sold her soul to the mother of monsters and now she's bringing them to our village!”

There is any amount of muttering running through the crowd. Beside you, tucked safely out of sight between two buildings, Karkat slams a hand into his own face.

“I hate these people so fucking much,” he mutters, speaking common as you both learned it in Golgesi. “It's like they deliberately went looking for ways to be stupid.”

“I know,” you say, tapping your fingers on your cane. You have any number of reasonable, sound arguments why Kanaya is completely innocent, not least of which is the fact that she is actually completely innocent. But none of them are going to work. These people aren't here for a trial, they're here for a show.

Luckily for you, your Goddess doesn't demand strict adherence to any law but justice itself.

Your duty plain, you step forwards into the square. The sunlight beats down on you instantly; it takes the villagers a little longer to notice that you are in their midst. When they do, a few of them scream; more try to back away, and you use that to walk freely to the centre of the square, ignoring the parents who pull their children away from you and hold them close.

Let them fear you. You are used to fear.

By the time you reach the middle of the square, within arm's reach of Kanaya and the two Aelfen who flank her like a guard, there is silence. The _tap, tap, tap_ of your cane against the packed earth is all that can be heard. You stop and stand, smiling as broadly and as toothily as you can, at Lerousse.

Then you hear footsteps behind you, and out of the corner of your eye you see Tamlin join you. He places a hand on your shoulder, smiles, and you can practically see everyone else relax a notch. Just as you planned.

“Did someone send for an adventurer?” Tamlin asks, tossing his head back slightly. You wish you could take the credit for that, but he plays the part of the hero to the hilt. If you were of a suspicious inclination, you might almost think that he was too good of an actor. Luckily for your comrade, you are a simple underground rube out on your first mission.

If you were the Seer herself, it would be simple to take a look into that skull of his and see just what's going on inside it. As you're not, you will simply have to rely on the clues to hand, and they are certainly painting an _interesting_ picture. The Prince of Heart is, of course, a deceptive God, not to mention a destructive and untrustworthy one. But this sort of deception? You sense something amiss.

“What's she doing here?” demands a voice from the crowd. A murmur of agreement goes up. You silently pray that Karkat sticks to the plan. If he gets too nervy and leaps to your defence then nobody is getting out of here without bloodshed and, even more importantly, your whole scheme goes down the drain.

Tamlin beams towards you. Not at you; it's strictly for the benefit of the people watching. “Oh, Terezi here's a recent Guild recruit, and something of a legal expert. Show them your token, Terezi!”

You dutifully pull out your membership token, holding the copper medallion up so everyone can see the shield on one side, the sword on the other. You can practically smell their grudging acceptance of your person-hood.

“Well, sorry to drag you out here,” says Lerousse, addressing Tamlin and ignoring you. “But we've got things under control now.”

“Really?” Tamlin frowns and does a near-theatrical turn, taking in the whole square. “Where's the trial?”

Blank stares meet this pronouncement. “Trial?” Lerousse asks.

Tamlin laughs. “Well, I might not know much about the law, but I know that if you don't have a trial then we might as well be a lynch mob!”

 _That_ hits a few people in the gut. You very carefully do not smirk when you see the crowd shifting. Funny how many people stop being willing to do wicked things once you name them properly.

“Terezi, help me out,” says Tamlin, turning to you- just as you scripted last night, working out how to get you into a position to help without turning the town on you, as well. “You know more about this than I do. What are our options, here?”

You pretend to tap your chin thoughtfully. “Well,” you say, and are pleased when a few of the crowd members are surprised by your near-accentless overcommon. “There are many sorts of trial we could employ. Trial by combat, between accuser and accused, perhaps?”

Lerousse gives Kanaya a slightly nervous look. They're a similar height, and he's an angry farmer, where she's a rather muscular witch. You give a small nod. You weren't expecting him to be an idiot, but there was always a chance Kanaya could just kick his ass and be done with it.

“Then there's trial by ordeal,” you continue. Lerousse's eyes light up, but you don't stop talking. “Of course, to be truly fair, the accuser would also have to undergo the ordeal. Just to make sure they were being truthful.”

That's not usually how trial by ordeal works, unless the Sisters are feeling particularly vindictive. Since you suspect you won't be permitted to call on your Goddess for her judgement, you're glad to see that the thought puts him off.

“Trial by magistrate would be simple enough,” you say. “But we would require a neutral party to act as magistrate.”

You pause here, hopeful while Tamlin puffs his chest out. But nobody says anything. You are disappointed, but not altogether surprised. An insular community such as this one was unlikely to trust an outsider to be their magistrate, even one they are theoretically paying.

“Trial by jury, then,” you say.

Lerousse straightens. “I volunteer!”

You raise your cane and wiggle it at him. “You are not permitted to volunteer. You are the prosecution!” You turn to the crowd. “We will select the jury by drawing lots! Someone find a hat and some stones!”

As the village dissolves into a loud babbling mass of chaos, you see a cloaked figure slip in at the back. Karkat is ready to play his part, then. It goes against the grain to try and fix a jury like this, but then you are trying a patently ridiculous case, and if you can't sneak one of your own into the judicial body your case will be thrown out of court before you even speak.

Six is the usual number of jurors, when such trial is held in Golgesi. One in six is not cheating much. It still feels utterly wrong to you, and you resolve to pray for forgiveness later, after you save your friend's life.

At your insistence, the village priest is located and brought to the square. He's an elderly man, and when he arrives you see the symbol of Breath on his stained blue habit. Once, according to your lessons, the surface-dwellers of the north recognised yours and Kanaya's Goddesses. But that was before the cataclysmic fall of the Old Empire, the old faith replaced by the Tuatha invading from the southern continent of Madianzi and the aasimar from the east.

After some explaining, most of it loud enough to put even Karkat to shame, the priest agrees to perform a blessing so utterly mundane that your teeth hurt from the embarrassment of the empty ceremony. At least you don't have to worry about actually calling down the wrath of the Heir. If any deity noticed that prayer, you will take a bath in bat guano.

By the time he's done shuffling around the square and flicking supposedly holy water at things, the village has managed to put together a bag and a pile of pebbles. You pull out the small pot of yellow paint Gamzee lent you- you have no idea where he got it and no desire to find out- and daub a decent blob onto six of the stones, in full view of the entire crowd.

The next part is the trickiest piece of the whole plan. You take a deep breath and try to reach for the Seer, the comfort of her purpose. You find nothing. The message is clear: you are on your own.

 _So be it._ You turn and sweep the stones into the battered old woollen hat that has been donated for the purpose. At the last second, you flick your fingers, knocking one of the marked stones into your sleeve. Your breath catches, but there are no shouts, no cries of cheat and thief. Fortune favours you, it seems.

You pass the hat to Lerousse, ostensibly because it's fairer if you both handle it but truthfully because you have already done your tampering. You watch, affecting calm, as the villagers approach and one-by-one withdraw their stones. Your fingers are tight on your cane handle as one by one the marked stones are drawn.

An elder as thin as a bundle of sticks and with lines that must make her a century old, at least.

A boy barely out of childhood, with a throat that keeps bobbing when he swallows.

A Tuatha man with a booming voice who looks like one of the oxen you've seen standing around the village.

A nervous-looking woman in a floury apron.

A young woman with a sharp look in her eyes and a haircut that she must have done herself.

Karkat is one of the last people to approach the hat, and your grip tenses as he approaches. You wait for someone to call out. For someone to see that he doesn't belong here. Nobody speaks, and you see him dip his hand into the hat, as if to take a stone. For a fraction of an instant, there is a smell in the air. It's sweet and hot and rusty, blood and sickles, and then Karkat is pulling out a yellow-marked stone.

It's not the one still resting in your sleeve, but nobody outside your group knows that.

Next is the tricky part, and you are frozen in an instant as Karkat walks over to join the other jurors and, with a tug so determined that he might as well have started screaming in terror, pulls his hood down.

The uproar is instant. Lerousse is howling next to you, but his words are swallowed by the cacophony from the rest of the village. Karkat has to duck forwards to dodge hands that grab viciously, and you see more than one drawn pebble fly through the air towards anyone with drow-dark skin.

You raise your cane and bring it down against the flagstones with a sharp crack.

 _“ENOUGH!”_ you screech, putting everything you have into that one word. There is a pause, more due to shock than any semblance of respect, but it's the thin end of the wedge. You swing your cane up and point it directly towards Lerousse. “THIS IS A COURT! YOU ALL SAW THE HEIR BLESS IT!”

Invoking their god draws the silence out. You spin, facing the crowd, and none of them are looking at Tamlin any more. You are on fire, burning with the power of this moment as you dance on the knife-edge between controlling the situation and sparking a riot.

“They're working together,” someone mutters. Your cane stabs out towards the voice, and points squarely towards the leathery silver-skinned man who spoke.

“Are you questioning the will of the gods?” you ask. “A Drow is on trial. A Drow speaks for her, and a Drow sits on her jury. DOES ANYONE THINK THE GODS CHOSE WRONGLY?”

Nobody speaks, not least because they now know that you will single them out the moment they do. You grin. Judging by the reactions, it is not a reassuring expression.

“Members of the jury,” you say, loudly enough for the sound to ring off the nearby buildings as you turn to the six people standing nearby and managing not to wink at Karkles. “This woman stands accused of foul sorcery!” You turn to face the prosecution, still beaming. “Master Lerousse, present the case against the accused!”

He stammers slightly. Four of the members of the jury look close to stunned. Karkat looks more wary than anything, which seems fair to you, but you keep your eye on the young woman at the end of the line. She's watching you more intently than the others. If she was Drow, you'd suspect her of being a priestess herself.

Lerousse coughs slightly, then launches into his accusations once again. You only half-listen to him, keeping your attention firmly on the crowd. They settle down as he rants, once again, about how the wicked tiefling Azanin hired the witch to enchant his daughter, and how he then destroyed the old mill storehouse.

“And she gave him the means to do it!” Lerousse shouted, the crowd- and most of the jury- nodding along. “Any building can burn, but we all heard the moment of its destruction! The shattered stones rained down the hill!”

He jabbed a finger uphill, out of the village. The murmurs of agreement are strong now, but you stay silent. You need to give him enough rope to form a noose.

“Mark my words, that's her payment!” Lerousse said, glaring sharply at Kanaya, who met his scorn with level calm. “Blood and fire, that's what her kind feeds on!”

_Aha!_

“What blood?” you ask. The words sound mild, but you make certain that everyone can hear them. Lerousse stops, almost spitting needles, and sneers.

“Do you deny that the old storehouse was destroyed?” he asks.

“Not at all,” you say, pacing forwards, cane tapping. “But it's a curious price for witchcraft, wouldn't you say? An empty building, all but a ruin anyway, visited by no-one and home to nothing?” You raise an eyebrow. “A very unsatisfactory target, unless your flour-sacks can bleed.”

Lerousse turns an interesting shade of orange, golden skin flushing. “It... the...” He takes a deep breath, and continues in a shaking voice. “The storehouse was the site of... of the unholy consummation of the spell.”

Your other eyebrow raises. “An out of the way building full of soft sacks?” You snicker. “Yes, I imagine more than a few unholy consummations have taken place there.”

There are a few laughs from the crowd. Even more encouragingly, there are a couple from the jury. The skinny elder is chuckling with a voice like dried corn husks, and the large booming Tuatha man is trying to hide a smile. The boy beside him has turned dull red with embarrassment, and you are one hundred percent certain that your previous statement was factually accurate.

Lerousse is also flushed, but not with embarrassment. He storms up to you, fists clenched. “You mock me?”

You flick your cane out, putting it between you and him and halting his approach as peacefully as possible. Nobody but Lerousse knows just how hard you are jabbing him in the ribs. “Merely pointing out that the building is ideal for that purpose,” you say, bland as anything.

Lerousse snarls at you- actually, legitimately _snarls._ You fight not to smile again. As a proud bluebelly of Golgesi, you have far more control over your emotional displays than an overwrought surface man, and thus you succeed.

“How do you explain what happened at the storehouse, then?” he demands, waving a hand back up the hill. “How besides magic do you suppose a building is fired in an instant?”

You don't, is the answer to that, but since that would be a terrible reply you took the time with the others to come up with a convincing lie. Jake's gunpowder gave you the idea, and you open your mouth to suggest that perhaps some natural alchemy was the culprit when, from the midst of the jury, a voice speaks up.

“Flour,” says Karkat. Everyone stares at him; even he looks puzzled at the words coming out of his mouth. “If you have enough flour, if it gets in the air and dances about like a whole grand ball of tiny asshole particles, then it can burn. Fast.” He makes an expansive gesture with his hands, then blinks and frowns deeply. You shoot a quick glance to Kanaya, and she shakes her head a fraction.

Neither of you have a damn clue where that just came from, and judging by Karkat's expression, he doesn't either. Some people in the crowd, though, seem more thoughtful. You see some of them whispering to one another.

Lerousse is not impressed by these developments. He stamps forwards. “You're not seriously going to believe this, are you?” he shouts. One finger, trembling, points towards Karkat. “This dark elf hasn't even seen flour before, let alone seen it burn! He's obviously lying?”

“Yeah?” yells a woman in the crowd. “Was my grandpa lying too, then, when he told me about them flour barrels went up over Partou way?”

“Your grandpa said he saw a ram the size of a bull last week!” yelled another voice, and then the whole square is ringing with shouting again. You look back at the jury. The old woman is still chuckling, but the young woman looks more suspicious than ever.

“ARE YOU CALLING MY DAUGHTER A LIAR?” Lerousse bellows. The shout is loud enough to tamp down the rest of the shouting. All attention is back on you, waiting to see what you will do next.

You accept the burden of the show, spinning your cane and planting it firmly on the ground. Leaning forward onto it, you tilt your head. “That depends. What does she have to say?”

You look pointedly past Lerousse to a young Aelfen girl who looks as if she would very, very much prefer to be floating off into the sky right about now. She's pretty, you think. Golden skin, silver hair and eyes, and a nose that turns up like a little button at the end. Thick lashes brush against her cheeks. She's the very picture of innocence as she looks, pale-cheeked, between you and her father.

“I... I...”

“Has anyone actually heard Miss Lerousse's side of the story?” you ask, loudly. Everyone shuffles their feet. You snort and tap your cane on the ground. “Well, maybe I can help shed some light on this.”

You say the last few words rather loudly. They drop into a sudden pause in proceedings, and you wince. He forgot. The useless, selfish, brain-addled _idiot..._

People at the edges of the crowd start to scream, and your smirk returns as Gamzee strides through them. His long-limbed, gangling steps carry him closer at a deceptively fast pace, and he doesn't seem even slightly put out by the added weight of the trussed-up tiefling slung over his shoulder.

“Hey, lawsis,” he says, with a shadow-eyed look that says _what are you gonna do about it, huh?_ “Found me this fugitive motherfucker, like you was all up and saying.”

You nod sharply, then transfer your attention to the tiefling. Azanin looks panicked and makes muffled squeaking noises behind his gag. His eyes are grey-flecked green, which you think means he's still fairly young, and his horns are a pair of spiralling twists as long as your forearm. He's wearing leathers, but they're not hardened into armour.

“This is ridiculous!” Lerousse shouts. He points a shaking finger towards you. “They're all working together! It's obvious!”

Gamzee smiles at him, slow and languid. “Sure motherfucking are, surface-friend. Gots to be up and getting our mystic sister back all straight and legal-like, don't we?”

“Guild guidelines recommend a healer travel with every adventuring party,” you add, twisting your coin round and round in your fingers. “We're a little disappointed at how you've treated her, when we came all this way at your request, but since we're reasonable professionals we thought it would be better to handle this with a proper trial.” You raise your voice slightly. “The innocent will be vindicated, and the guilty condemned!”

You've lost some of the crowd, you know that, but it was inevitable. The important thing is that some of the dark glares are being cast towards Lerousse, and that even more people simply look confused. They aren't cohesive enough to form a mob, not any more.

You reach down and pull the gag from Azanin's mouth. “Explain your actions,” you say, with some relish.

He blinks at you, then looks towards Kanaya, and then Miss Lerousse. “I was just tryin' to make some coin,” he says, and there's fear under the sullen tone. “Me an' Marie, we just sorta hit it off, it wasn't meant to make any trouble...”

“Why did you run?” you ask, pressing home.

Azanin shakes his head. “The storehouse went up! I don't even know why, but we could've died! And then we got back late, and Marie's father was gonna kill me! What would you have done?”

“YOU DARE BESMIRCH MY DAUGHTER!” Lerousse bellows, advancing on the bound tiefling. Azanin flinches back in a satisfying manner from the looming elf.

That's when it happens.

“DAD, NO!” Marie Lerousse shouts, darting forward to grab her father's arm. “I LOVE HIM!”

Lerousse bellows in wordless fury and shakes his daughter off. You step between him and the helpless prisoner, and he lunges for you. Before he can even land a hit, he is grabbed by half a dozen of his fellow villagers and wrestled to the ground, still shouting about witchcraft.

After that, the sight of a tearful Marie embracing Azanin and untying his bonds is hardly even necessary. The jury vote almost unanimously to acquit all accused parties, and concur with Karkat's suggestion that Lerousse needs some time to cool down in a locked room. The only dissenting voice is the nervous-looking woman in the apron, who is wearing an expression of distaste. Even the sharp-eyed young woman is nodding, as if to say “well-played”.

It was well-played, and Kanaya says as much when you untie her. You cannot stop from smiling as Lerousse is hauled off by his friends and neighbours.

Justice has been served.

### Suggestions Used

 _mzingalwa -_ Terezi: Contemplate what you would do if your awesome mind reading powers were actually a thing, which they clearly can't be as only the Seer can see clearly into the minds of others

 _TheBookwormBakery -_ Terezi: Confuse everyone at the trial with hella complicated legal jargon. Maybe blind them with your brilliance AND baffle them with your bullshit.

 _Evi -_ Terezi: COM3 4CROSS 4 K4NG4ROO COURT 4ND B3 M1ST4K3N FOR TH3 P41D-OFF D3F3ND1NG L4WY3R. L3T JUST1C3 B3 DON3.  >:D

 _ttd0000 -_ Terezi: You are the LAW.

 _Scedasticity -_ Karkat: Remember something from that incarnation when you were a farmer with a happy ending. Become confused.

### System Notes

Palming a coin-sized, unattended object = DC10  
TEREZI ATTEMPTS TO SPEND 1 HERO POINT, BUT IS UNABLE TO.  
Terezi's dexterity check = 14  
TEREZI SUCCEEDS IN PALMING THE STONE.

KARKAT SPENDS 1 HERO POINT BEFORE THE CHECK, GAINING +8 AND AUTOMATICALLY SUCCEEDING THE CHECK. 3/5 HERO POINTS REMAIN.  
Karkat's dexterity check = 14  
KARKAT SUCCEEDS IN PALMING THE STONE.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, first things first: I will be skipping an update due to moving house, partner's birthday, and the need for a break. Therefore the next LODAD update will be **Sunday 31st August**. All other fics will update as usual. Enjoy your August months!
> 
> Second things second: [This Tumblr post](http://mageoftime.tumblr.com/post/92461755708) contains the fanarts created for this fic by the lovely mageoftime, and I encourage you all to go check out these pics!
> 
> Third things third: WOOHOO TRIAL TEREZI!!! :DD


	98. ==> Dave: Be In Denial

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Hero point votes:**  
>  Jake 3  
> John 1  
> Terezi 1
> 
>  **Current Hero Points:**  
>  John 2/5, Rose 4/5, **Dave 3/3, Jade 3/3**  
>  Karkat 3/5, **Gamzee 3/3,** Terezi 4/5  
>  **Sollux 3/3, Aradia 3/3, Kanaya 5/5**  
>  Jane 3/5, Jake 1/5, Roxy 2/3, Dirk 2/3

## ==> Dave: Be In Denial

On the Stormwrack Coast, people say a lot of shit about Phooka. Further north they have issues with aasimar. Watchmen and guards tend to take a dim view of professional entertainers and an even dimmer view of practised thieves and you've heard the sort of shit they think you get up to in your off hours.

As a result you try not to believe too much of the crap you hear about other people unless it dangles in front of your nose. Until now you haven't met that many orcs, and the ones you have known tended to be hanging out in adventuring parties. Now, facing a whole army of them with an irritated dragon in the middle, you are forced to conclude that one piece of everyday bigotry at least has some basis.

Orcs are _fucking dumb._

It took about five seconds of looking at the immense, ancient dragon for the entire mob to decide that the best response was to attack, and it's going down like a turd on a wedding cake. Lightning crackles across the battlefield and orcs fall by the score. Really, you'd be happy to just sit back and watch the show if there weren't enough of the fuckers to ruin your day too.

“Dave! Look out!”

You follow Roxy's pointing finger towards the knot of orcs that have broken off in your direction. Caliburn seems to almost buzz in the scabbard, and you can feel your own blood rising. You're moving before you remember even making the decision, sword in hand as you charge the biggest, ugliest orc in the band.

The speed of your charge becomes the speed of your blade, but you don't hit clumsily. There's a chink in the battered plate armour he's wearing and Caliburn finds it with a bloodthirsty cry. The orc bellows, foam flying from his mouth. His eyes are mad with rage and pain. Your own heart beats faster, pushing back the strange lethargy that's been tugging at your limbs all day.

You've never been on a battlefield before, not like this, and part of you is scared to find that you feel at home here.

There's a shout behind you, a feeling like teetering on the edge of a bottomless cliff, and the badass-looking orc next to the guy you're fighting stumbles back, clawing at his eyes with one hand. He screams in fury and swings his axe towards you; it swishes uselessly through the air where you're not, and you make a note to thank Roxy later.

One of the other orcs in the band charges off past you, but the others are already stepping up and you don't get your buckler up in time to ward off a blow from a falchion. The blade bites into you and warm, wet blood pours out of your side. Before you can recover from that, the ugly son of a bitch you charged swings his greataxe and slams it into you.

You get your buckler up in time, but it's all you can do to not get bowled over. You're amazed the small shield doesn't break, but your arm isn't so lucky. You scream as bone cracks, the axe blade sliding past your shield and biting deep and deadly into your shoulder. You feel it scrape against your collarbone. The fact that he's still pissing blood from the wound you gave him isn't much comfort when you're drenched in your own.

There's a flash of light and colour and you see Dirk appear in a flash of arcane afterimages, katana already falling. There's a trail of orange-gold light in the air as his blade falls, hacking a new slash across the metal-clad orc's middle. You can see guts peeking out through the folds of severed muscle before another orc slashes at Dirk from behind. Your bro tries to duck away and ends up with a long, shallow slice along his sword arm. You duck around your opponent and take advantage of the eye he has to keep on Dirk to bury Caliburn in the guts your bro's attack exposed.

“Aim up!” Caliburn yells, and you do, the blade sinking in deep enough for your fingers to touch flesh. You give it a twist, and pull Caliburn back as the orc falls silent to the ground. You know without even checking that he is as dead as a stone.

You whirl to check on Roxy just in time to see her plow a fist glowing with pink-tinted power into the face of an orc. He reels back, but not enough to dodge Frigglish, who jumps onto his head and starts ripping at him with sharp kitty claws. You absent-mindedly step away from the still-blinded axe-wielding orc and suppress the urge to snicker as the orc fighting Roxy tries to throw Frigglish from his head and stumbles instead as the cat bites him in the throat.

Your attention is brought sharply back to your immediate surroundings as another orc attacks. You barely have to twitch aside, and step around to put him between you and Dirk before taking a swing. The motion sends a jolt of pain through your injured side and, hissing, you fumble the blow. Behind you there's a loud thump and a shout of triumph from Roxy; you take another moment to dodge the flailing blind orc, and land squarely in the path of your latest foe. The falchion slices through your leg and you stumble; your pain appears on your face, but you can't muster the control to force it back. Shit, shit, _shit._

Then Dirk is there, turning away from his own foe to attack yours, and with one blow he nearly severs the orc's lower arm. He takes a blow for it from the orc behind him, but he barely seems to notice.

Like fuck are you letting him show you up. Renewing your grip on Caliburn, you lunge forward and slash for the orc's neck. He goes down like a gory fountain and you stagger back, panting.

Roxy charges past you in a screaming blur, hitting the remaining orc with two glowing fists. Again you have the feeling of the endless pit underfoot, a shroud of night and silence. Her fists land squarely in the orc's gut and he doubles over. Dirk follows the blow up with a strike to the back that sends the orc tumbling to the ground, unconscious.

“Hey, mister dragon!” Roxy shouts. To your increasingly bleary amazement, the huge, lizard-like head swings around to face you. “Can we get a lift out?”

Its jaw falls open in a way you seriously hope is amusement.

“For you, little Rogue?” it rumbles. “Naturally.”

“Great, let's go,” you mumble. You take a step towards the dragon and nearly fall over. Dirk grabs you before you're halfway to the ground.

“I got you, bro,” he says, and before you can protest you're being swung up into a bridal carry.

“'M the prettiest fuckin' princess,” you mumble.

“Hells yeah,” Dirk agrees, dodging around the still-swinging blind orc after Roxy. Your eyes drop down to where Frigglish is racing over the blood-splattered ground, and it occurs to you that a regular cat would have been out of here long ago. Familiars. How do they even work?

It briefly occurs to you that by running towards the dragon, you're also headed straight towards the entire orc army, but it turns out to be a moot point. Lightning flashes overhead and then a clawed hand the size of your caravan reaches out. Dirk jumps up onto the knuckle like you weigh nothing and you groan as the impact goes right through your broken everything. Roxy reaches down to help him up, and then you're nestled between spines that could do pretty good service as temple door-frames. The air clashes and a gale-force wind blows past, and then your stomach falls away as the dragon launches into the air.

The world appears between blinks. Dirk holding you steady. Roxy grinning, hair streaming back in the wind. Roaring orcs the size of ants. Arrows clattering off blue-white scales.

And then there is magic, ancient and powerful and endless as the sky. It rolls around you and through you; the pain fades, and you can feel your flesh knitting even as you see the wounds on Dirk and Roxy closing. A voice as deep and powerful as thunder speaks and power hits you in a deluge, washing you clean of the exhaustion that has hung from you since you fought the undead birds. There was a stench of carrion in your soul that you hadn't even noticed until it is blown clean away.

When the light show fades, you've never felt better in your life. You're also being held in place by your brother. You shove him away, aware that your cheeks are burning, and try to pretend like you didn't just get your chopped-up ass hauled off a battlefield.

“Thanks, man,” you say, in the vague direction of the dragon's head. You're guessing it was the dragon who healed you, given how neither Roxy nor Dirk have shown any inclination to do so. And Balder...

“Shit!”

“Yeah,” says Dirk, and you think that there might be a slightly irritated set to his mouth. “Lost him back there somewhere. Fuck knows how.”

“They're sneaky, these Light sorts,” says Roxy. She's cuddling Frigglish like she never wants to let him go again. Even weirder, he's letting her. That is no fucking cat.

“I will not return for your companion,” says the dragon. You can feel him speaking; his voice vibrates up through your whole body. You can practically see Dirk storing up details for later storytelling. “The danger to you is too great.”

“Well, thanks for the save,” says Dirk.

“I thought it best to answer the call I heard,” says the dragon. A mountain of scaled flesh moves ahead, and you see an eye bigger than you are peering back at the three of you. “My advice, young Rogue, is to not blow upon that whistle again. Less friendly ears than mine might well hear.”

“Aye, aye!” Roxy says, saluting.

“You called her Rogue,” says Dirk. “Why is that?”

A chuckle like clouds clashing rolls past you. “Because, little Prince, I am too old to call things by false names.”

A shiver runs through you. “No way,” you say, pushing yourself upright. “Not a fucking chance. Just because Balder was crazy enough to think that we were... that we...”

You can't even make yourself say it. Not with the clash of battle still ringing in your ears, and the blood still soaking into your clothes, and you're torn in three directions at once. What just happened was bloody and violent and the sort of thing you try to avoid, as a rule, but you survived. You aren't planning to make a habit of it.

So why does part of you feel tired and sad, like all you want to do is put down the sword and rest? And worse, why does part of you feel _full,_ like you just ate for the first time in a week?

You don't know much about the Knight of Time, but he never seemed like the sort of god you'd want to follow, and he sure as fuck isn't the sort of god you want to be.

Dirk's hand lands on your shoulder. “Mask's slipping, bro.”

It is, too. You push it back into place, tighten the ribbon at the back of your head. It settles back over your face like armour.

Dirk turns back to face the direction of the dragon's head. “Forgive my scepticism, but I've never felt the need to listen to the gods, and that ain't changing just 'cause I might be the Avatar of one.”

Another deep, rumbling chuckle rolls through you all. “So I would expect, from the the Puppeteer. Even your own strings bind too tightly for your will.”

“I don't have to be anything I don't want to be,” Dirk says, sharply. He's not just saying it for his own sake. You breathe out, and take a firmer hold on who you are.

“And yet you are the Lord of Masks, even now.” The dragon's wings sweep up and down, propelling you forward through the air. “I have had many long centuries to study the nature of the gods, and I long ago ceased to rely on the words of lesser scholars. You and I have spoken before, child, and I do believe that after your fashion you offered friendship.”

“Did you speak to me, too?” Roxy asks, scrambling towards the dragon's head.

“Indeed I did, young Rogue,” says the dragon, with the warmth of a southern breeze. “How could I not, when you are so beloved of my glorious teacher?”

“Who's that?” you ask. You wish there was something better to hold onto up here; you feel like you're about to fall off any moment.

The dragon roars. You slam your hands over your ears, and watch wide-eyed as the clouds around you crackle.

“The Storm Brother!” the dragon bellows, and somewhere between pissing your pants and wondering if your ears are bleeding you realise that he sounds _joyful._

“The Heir of Breath,” Dirk translates. You think of John and how he would react to the dragon. Then you think of _John_ being a god. It is quite possibly the most terrifying thought you have ever had.

“He's in trouble!” Roxy shouts, over the wind of the dragon's wings as you swoop down. “There was a mask, and it got to him-”

“I know, child!” The dragon banks around a cloud and you see the ground below. “I sensed the poison touch his power, and came to his aid.”

“You can cure the curse?” you ask.

“Not I,” says the dragon. “But the power to do so was left in my care, many years ago. I feel it is time to return it.”

“Return what?” Roxy asks. She looks like she's loving every moment of this.

“The Hammer of the Storm Brother!” the dragon bellows. “The Hammer that forged the sky and shattered the darkness! It still holds that power, when wielded by one with faith!”

“You want us to hit him with a hammer?” you repeat, disbelieving.

“Not precisely, young Knight,” the dragon says. Amused again- yeah, it definitely has John's sense of humour.

“Okay, I got a question!” Roxy says. “If we're the gods, how come you keep calling us children and young this and little that?”

The dragon rumbles. “Because, young Rogue, you _are_ the gods. And all gods are children!”

So saying, the dragon's wing lifts, and suddenly the scaled floor underneath you becomes a wall. Roxy screams; you yell a bit yourself as you tumble into freefall, dropping out into the air. There's not even time to feel betrayed. Your hands scrabble upwards, looking for purchase that doesn't exist.

Magic envelops you and arrests your fall; suddenly you're floating down like feathers, watching as the dragon climbs up into the sky above you. It winds like a snake through the clouds and vanishes in a shimmer of blue and white.

“Asshole,” you say, as your feet touch down on the grass.

“I liked him,” says Roxy. “Plus, he totally saved our butts!”

Dirk coughs. “About that...”

You turn and freeze. About a hundred yards away, staring at you with flat, white eyes, John crackles with dark power.

“John, buddy,” you say, backing up a step. “Maybe we can talk about this?”

The John-creature opens its mouth. The sounds that emerge should not be possible to make with a normal throat.

“That's a no, then?” You back up another step and stop when your heel hits nothing. You look over your shoulder to see a steep drop into a narrow, rocky river. “Oh, you have got to be shitting me.”

“I could try the whistle again?” Roxy suggests.

“Whenever you're ready,” Dirk agrees. She starts to fumble in her pouch, but before she pulls anything out thunder cracks overhead.

“What the...” your voice trails away as you make out the dark dot racing downwards, too small for a dragon. The sun glints off it and your eyes widen as you make out the shape. “Son of a _bitch!”_

Clued in by your surprise, the John-thing looks up just in time to take the falling hammer squarely to the face. A bright, blue-tinted light flashes. He drops like a sack of tubers.

“JOHN!” Roxy screams, running forwards without any respect for life or limb. You're right on her heels, fingers already reaching for the hilt of your sword... except, when you get there, John's skin is pink rather than grey, and there's a significant lack of blood and bruising.

Roxy drops to her knees next to him, leaning over his face. “John!”

His eyes flutter open like the damsel in a ballad, and the smile on his face is all John. “Roxy. Hey.”

“Hey,” says Roxy, smiling back. And then John's hands come up to grip either side of her face, and they're kissing.

“About time,” you say, as Dirk steps up beside you. John spares a hand to give you the finger while devoting the entire rest of his attention to sucking face. You glance to the hammer lying in the ground next to him; it is the weirdest hammer you have ever seen. Big enough for a warhammer, green-handled and made of some silvery metal you don't recognise. There's a spring in there, and one of the ends is hissing gently and steaming.

From above you, you could swear you hear a draconic laugh in the clouds, but when you look up you see nothing.

### Suggestions Used

 _Liangnui -_ Group: Run into a strangely serpentine dragon. :D

 _LostSock -_ Dirk: Carry your bro.

 _LostSock -_ Dave: Be mortified.

 _1JakoftheMoon1 -_ Dave:be in denial. You're no god, especially if being one is just going to give you trouble.

 _Aryashi -_ Dirk: Comfort your brother (in the only way a Strider can)

 _bbc -_ Dave: hear of the Legend of the Magic Hammer

 _DeadZone -_ Hammer: appear in the midst of the storm after a peal of thunder

 _DeadZone -_ Wrinklefucker: Fall fortuitously from the sky and crush someone

 _Halest0rm3 -_ John: get knocked out while grimdark and wake up to see roxy on top of you making sure you're not dead. Kiss her impulsively

 _Boondongle -_ John: stop worrying, start relationship with roxy

[System Notes](http://celynbrum.tumblr.com/post/96269537365/lodad-system-notes-chapter-98)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We were overdue some combat. :)
> 
> Not much else to be said this chapter. See you all in a couple of weeks!


	99. -- 617: delinquentXplorer --

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Hero point votes:**  
>  Jake 3  
> John 2  
> Terezi 1  
> JAKE GAINS ONE HERO POINT!  
> Voting now open for the next Hero Point award: one person will get one after three chapters. 
> 
> **Current Hero Points:**  
>  John 2/5, Rose 4/5, **Dave 3/3, Jade 3/3**  
>  Karkat 3/5, **Gamzee 3/3,** Terezi 4/5  
>  **Sollux 3/3, Aradia 3/3, Kanaya 5/5**  
>  Jane 3/5, Jake 2/5, Roxy 2/3, Dirk 2/3

A young MERROW stands in her room...

Hey, you! Yeah, you! Hurry it the fuck up, willya? This girl ain’t got all day to be pissin’ about waiting for your SLOWPOKE LAND-DWELLING AMBLEPODS to get themselves into gear and saunter on over, maybe take in a few sights along the way, get some snapshots for the album. She’s got places to be, things to do, and asses to kick! This INTRODUCTION needs to get started pronto, or she’s fuckin’ outta here!

[ ](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/imzuk0xdc8vqs1f/Hermia%20Delphinus.png?dl=0)

**== > Who’s this PUGNACIOUS LOUDMOUTH?**

You are now HERMIA DELPHINUS and you live in the most badass place imaginable: a house made of the wrecked hulls of a dozen LOST SHIPS, balanced half on a CORAL ISLAND and half submerged in the deep ocean that surrounds you. It’s fuckin’ hardcore MAD TRADITIONAL SHIT for your people is what it is. When you first started kickin’ about up in here it was only made from maybe four ships, but your hobbies take up mega amounts of space so you gotta keep adding to it. Your CARPENTRY sucks which is total bullshit because you need the room for serious, but it’s not like you can get anyone else to do it for you ‘cos hey, middle of butt-fuck nowhere.

The reason you have to keep making amateur additions to your home is because of your EXTENSIVE COLLECTIONS, which encompass basically anything you can get your grubby webbed fingers on. Like your collection of old TOBACCO PIPES, or the room full of POLISHED CUTLERY, or the shelves of MOSTLY-INTACT POTTERY... yeah, okay, most of this stuff is TOTAL SHIT, but virtually all of it comes from WRECK DIVING runs and you can’t go around bein’ picky when outrunning angry cephalopods. You are the motherfuckin’ boss at wreck diving; you can make a run and clear a whole ship in less than two minutes, which puts you right at the top of the leaderboards. If there were leaderboards, or anyone else practised wreck diving, but you don’t care about that shit because you are a fuckin’ NINJAQUATIC LEGEND.

When you’re not fucking about with the slowly rotting husks of ancient marine vessels, you like to practise your UNDERWATER GARDENING. Straight up, it’s a bit of a sedate hobby for you, but you’re not yet skilled enough to take up the brand of EXTREME GARDENING that one of your friends is preparing you for. When you’re ready, though, your coral island is gonna be the most kick-ass DEATH TRAP ever. You’ve already started collecting plants for it, although most of them died. And some of them ATE EACH OTHER. Man, you fuckin’ suck at gardening.

You have five good friends who you will soon play a game with. They're a real BUNCH OF DORKS, but they're your dorks, so fuck the haters. CN is your GARDENING TEACHER, and she's fun to talk to even if she can be hard to get a hold of. Your best friend is IN. He’s the king of the dorks, but he likes some cool stuff you guess, and he’s got all these plans where you go on some ass-kickin’ ADVENTURE together which sounds fuckin’ a-okay to you. You discuss RAIDING and TRAPS and crap like that with him and with WS, who’s kinda stuck up but only because he’s a TOTAL NERD. ST helps you ID your finds sometimes; he flirts with you which would be hells of annoying if he didn’t flirt with everyone. Actually, no, fuck it, it is hells of annoying, just like CH’s PUPPET THING. You put up with her creepy-ass AMATEUR DRAMATICS, though, because she can get you more sweet loot and will totally trade for any freaky-ass puppets or masks you find.

You talk to your friends on the AETHERNET, using the spiritmark delinquentXplorer [DX] AND TYPIN TOTEZ RAD 2 THE MAXXX!1! WITH UR FRIENDZ.

[ ](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/i7xo2mmj2r97wtp/LOGAF%20Titled.png?dl=0)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another of the Eventual Elves, submitted for your perusal. For those who have forgotten, [this douchebag here](http://archiveofourown.org/works/420086/chapters/4112280) was the first, and for those who missed it [this is a fanart of him](http://media.tumblr.com/13617122ea84725347c652768346ff42/tumblr_inline_n92xcuSrJg1r263zd.png) drawn by the delightfully prolific [mageoftime](http://mageoftime.tumblr.com/post/92461755708).
> 
> And really, a Thief of Space has to make enormous piles of clutter. It is inevitable. ;)


	100. ==> Sollux: Vent Your Feelings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Hero point votes:**  
>  No votes cast this round!
> 
>  **Current Hero Points:**  
>  John 2/5, Rose 4/5, **Dave 3/3, Jade 3/3**  
>  Karkat 3/5, **Gamzee 3/3,** Terezi 4/5  
>  Sollux 1/3, **Aradia 3/3, Kanaya 5/5**  
>  Jane 3/5, Jake 2/5, Roxy 2/3, Dirk 2/3

## ==> Sollux: Vent Your Feelings

Everything sucks.

You stare out at the sea, watching as it washes up the thin strip of shale and stone that's passing for a beach. You think it looks closer than it was fifteen minutes ago, which would mean the tide is coming in. From the look of the watermarks against the cliff towering over you, it's going to keep on coming in until you, Jade, Jade's wolf, and every last scrap of evidence any of you exist is underwater.

Somehow, you cannot bring yourself to give a shit.

You can hear Jade scrabbling at the cliff behind you, trying to find a way to reopen the door that you came out of. You'd tell her not to bother, if you thought she was in with a chance of finding anything. The only place that would take you is back to the Temple of Hope, which is teeming with bloodsucking undead monsters. Those, you'd rather avoid, if only because they might turn you instead of killing you. Eternity is not something you want to contemplate living- or unliving- through.

Your heart, or bloodpusher, or whatever misshapen fleshy organ you have in your chest, beats in time with the waves. Each pulse seems to whisper a name.

_Ara-dia. Ara-dia. Ara-dia._

You're not thinking about whether she's alive or dead, because if you do, you're going to believe that you'll never see her again. And then you are going to flip your shit. So instead you keep staring at the grey waves, glittering with the first rays of sunlight, and not caring about anything as your eyes water. It's your fault she's gone, anyway. You were never as powerful as you should have been; here and now, you can admit to yourself that the words you have been so proud of are all but worthless beside real magic. You don't know enough of them, and the ones you do know don't bend to your will how you want them to. Aradia had- _has-_ more power than you in her little fingers.

It's probably your freakish blood, neither one thing nor the other. Even your magic is a twisted mockery of something whole.

“Sollux!”

You don't look around at the shout. Unseeing, you stare into the depths of the water. Who's going to put up with you, now Aradia's gone? You don't even know why she did, sometimes.

“SOLLUX!”

Maybe you should just walk out into the ocean now. It's not like you have anything left to hang around for.

Something heavy, damp and stinky crashes into you. You fall into the surf and yell, throwing up your arms in a shower of sparks before you see Bec standing over you, long tongue lolling out from behind black, wolfish lips. Eager lupine eyes watch you, sharper than any animal has the right to be. It's too much.

“THIT!” you scream, slamming your hands down into the spray. You howl again when your hands hit the rocks, hard.

“Idiot!” says a voice, and Jade is grabbing your hands, pulling them towards her. She studies them for all of a second before you snatch them back away from her.

“Did I athk for your help?” you snap, scrambling back to your feet and shuffling away from her.

“You're welcome!” she yells after you. You glare in her general direction. Why couldn't she just leave you alone?

There really isn't anywhere to avoid her on the beach. You try anyway, huddling against the cliff and pointedly staring at the rock. You hear her walk up behind you, stones skittering under her boots.

“We need to get off the beach,” she says. You groan and drop forwards, your brow hitting the rock with an audible clatter. The pause that follows is slightly too long.

“Please?” she adds. Something in you snaps.

“FINE!” you yell, stepping back from the cliff. Your eyes are blazing and you can feel it. The sun doesn't burn as hot and bright, when you're burning from the inside. You stamp back to the middle of the beach and stare up at the looming cliff. You raise your hands, one lined with red ghostfire, the other with blue, and plunge your fingers into the streaming words that only you have ever seen.

The three words you shout are not words that you've ever mixed before. You don't think you could have, if it wasn't for the ball of power that's been growing for weeks in your belly. Fire and lightning lash out, twined around one another, and spark into the cliff. On any other rock, they wouldn't have done a damn thing. On the slippery, layered stone in front of you, they shatter and crack along faultlines, guided by the third word that hits like an invisible blade. It guides the devastation on the initial blow, and when you scream out two more words from a roar throat, the crackling, burning energy strikes the cliff like the wrath of a grieving god.

You only realise that you've made a mistake when the entire cliff-face rumbles and, slower than it should, starts to crumble. Jade's hand grabs the back of your neck and hauls you backwards. A chunk of rock the size of Bec lands where you were standing. You sprawl backwards into the sea, brine soaking into your boots and britches, and throw yourself under the surface as the air fills with dust.

Everything goes, not quiet, but deeper. Slower. You see Jade floating beside you, her hair floating like weeds in the water. Bec's legs busily tread water as the world rumbles.

You break the surface with a gasp, and immediately start coughing. The air tastes like stone and scratches on the way down. The smooth stones of the beach have been covered with rough, sharp shards of rock. You crawl your way up onto them, and start hacking your lungs up, doubled over on all fours. The shattered amulet you've been wearing since the Deep Caverns slips out from under your shirt and dangles under your nose, bumping against your chin.

A hand appears in your vision. You let Jade help you up, but spend a few moments staring. She's soaking wet, and grey-white dust has stuck to the water on her skin. The bedraggled ropes of her hair are sporting tresses of seaweed. She doesn't say anything, just looks at you, then turns to look at the cliff. The previously sheer face is now home to a ragged line of jutting rock, a series of rough, sequential blocks that barely stick out a hands-breadth at their widest point.

It's not much of a staircase, but a flicker of pride briefly makes itself known in the cold, inhospitable depths of your soul.

“Are you okay to climb it?” Jade asks. You shrug and head over to the cliff-side. As tricky as they look, the stairs are just barely enough for Bec to climb, which means you have no problem making it to the top. Once you reach solid, dry ground, you drop straight down onto it and stare up into the sky for all of five seconds before you close your watering eyes. The sun is well and truly up by now, and even through closed eyelids it's bright.

You feel rather than see as Jade drops to the ground next to you. “Are you all right?” she asks. It's a hesitant question. You're viciously pleased by that, and rather than answering you flop over to show her your hunched back. As the sunlight warms you, you realise that the chill you've been feeling is more than just physical. Your hand clenches around the amulet you're wearing and you drop it in seconds, hissing. The skin on your palm burns from the cold, although you don't feel it against your skin now.

Bec trots past you with a suspiciously strong fishy smell. You sit up and your jaw drops when you see him deposit a large, slightly slobbery fish in front of Jade. The tuatha woman chuckles and ruffles his head.

“Thanks, boy!” she says, and to your absolute horror she digs her fingers into the fish and tears out a piece of flesh, nibbling on it raw.

“What the fuck are you doing?” you ask, scooting back and feeling bile rise in your throat.

Jade swallows. So do you. “I'm too hungry to bother cooking,” she says, and holds out a fistful of dripping fish-flesh. “Want some?”

“I'm taking a walk,” you say, jumping to your feet. You walk off before Jade can object, pacing along the edge of the cliff. You're careful not to go too far- you don't want her to have an excuse to come looking for you- but you stop out of earshot, sitting with your legs dangling over the cliff and your back to your one remaining live companion.

“Great,” you say, just above a whisper. “Now what?”

You shouldn't have asked. Vapour trails off the amulet around your neck, icy wisps streaming into the ocean air. Instead of evaporating, they begin to coalesce, pouring out faster and faster until a misty figure hovers in the air in front of you. Sir Cosbie looks exactly the same as the last time you saw him; the sunlight shines through him more easily than the dim magical glow that had lit your way in the Deep Caverns, but the colourless elf in leathers stares at you with the same hollow, empty pits.

 _“Alekor,”_ he hisses. You'd forgotten how terrible his voice was. The urge to clap your hands over your ears, to block out the distant howling, is almost impossible to resist. Your fingers tighten in the cloth of your breeches.

You glare at the ghost you carried up from the Deep Caverns.“Ith that all?”

A scream splits the sky. Feat shoots through you like lightning. You want to turn and check, see if Jade has noticed- how could she _not?-_ but you're frozen like a mouse before a cat.

 _“You gave me your oath!”_ the spirit says, hollow sockets blazing with cold, pale fire. _“Vengeance for my companions. You swore to me, on all that you are. Yet we are no closer to the truth than we were that day!”_

It takes you a few tries to recover your voice. “I've been buthy,” you say. It's a weaksauce excuse and you know it. The truth is, you'd almost forgotten about the quest- you couldn't completely, not when the Amulet of Guidance was at stake, and the possibility of the Great Maze and the secrets of the Labyrinth Maker. But Sir Cosbie's part had faded in your mind until it felt like something to do one day, not today.

It seems fitting that now, of all times, is when he's chosen to remind you of your vow. The thought of doing it alone, without Aradia, leaves you empty.

“I don't know where to thtart,” you say, trying to explain the unexplainable. It's true enough. You have a name and a twenty-three year old trail. The best adventurer in the world couldn't follow that.

Sir Cosbie's disapproval radiates off him, chilling to the touch. Visually he's hardly more than a mirage, but you can feel his presence in a way you normally don't, like stumbling across a patch of bitter winter in the middle of a summer grove.

 _“I will tell you all I can,”_ he says, eventually, and waits. You realise that you'll have to ask him a question, and mentally run through what you already know from overhearing him explain his story to your companions.

Sir William had been travelling with three others in search of the Amulet of Guidance, a quest that brought them to the Deep Caverns. Nathaniel Brightborn, the aasimar cleric of the Heir, like a brother to him; Maura Chanter, the phooka seeking fame and fortune; and Marius Wordweaver, the tiefling wizard who had found the resting place of the artefact they sought. You remember him asking you if you were related to Wordweaver. At the time, brimming with self-loathing for your missing companions and distracted by the danger all around you, you had thought it was a racist assumption, but looking back on it...

“Why did you think I wath related to Mariuth?” you ask, pushing back the feeling that Aradia would have been better at this than you are. She's still alive, somewhere. She's still fine, somewhere. You have to believe that, or Sir Cosbie is going to make you look sane by comparison.

The ghost snorts, a sound like a hollow wind blowing through a graveyard. _“As I have said, Twinblood, you resemble him in more ways than one.”_

“Be thpethific,” you say, your eyes narrowing. “In fact, tell me everything you remember about what happened down there. Who ith Alekor? Why do you think he knowth what happened?”

The ghost is silent for a moment. You hear his thoughts passing like errant whispers.

 _“You must understand, we had been travelling together for many years at that time,”_ he began. _“The four of us, we had faced many dangers together, fought countless foes. When Marius told us that he could find the Amulet, lead us to the Great Maze, we thought we had finally found a challenge worthy of our skills...”_

You're not usually one for visualising things, but as the ghost tells his story the old emotions wash over you, and you find yourself picturing events long passed. You can see the four of them together, poring over a map in the inn, lamplight shining off Nathaniel's golden hair. You can hear Maura's voice as she bargains with the Granitehew dwarves, getting safe passage and aid for herself and her companions. Your own memories supply the twisting networks of tunnels that lead them deeper and deeper under the Dragonshards, the way lit by green fungus and guttering torches, the terrible monsters they faced in the shadows.

When the moment comes, and they find their way mistaken, you feel their disappointment almost as strongly as you would your own. Marius had been sure of what he had found, but the rocks had shifted over time, and they were running out of supplies with no time to find another entrance to the hidden temple they knew was there, somewhere. None of the wizard's companions had questioned his research. Wordweaver had earned his name from his research; no-one else spoke their spells as he did, plucking words from the air and using them to shape the world as he saw fit.

A chill runs up your spine when Sir Cosbie describes the magic that comes as naturally to you as breathing, but it's soon replaced by a sinking sense of inevitability when he describes their decision to delve deeper instead of returning to the surface. The Granitehew Clanhold was far behind them, but the drow city of Golgesi was close, and they were certain that with local help they could still reach their goal in a matter of days.

Alekor, it turns out, was a drow they met on the outskirts of the city, and a desperate man. He bargained his help, his skills as a thief and the knowledge he could supply them, for their protection and aid. Sir Cosbie's telling falters as he describes what Alekor needed, and you know he's leaving out details. From the little he says, you don't blame him. The small party, under the direction of their guide, broke into the enclave where the alchemists create the drow. They left with the House Simyager guards hot on their tail, and when they found the hidden cathedral, it became Sir Cosbie's tomb.

The ghost doesn't know what became of any of them after that, but you have to agree it doesn't look promising, if the broken Amulet was in Golgesi all these years.

 _“Marius wove spells as you do,”_ says the ghost, as his story winds to a close. _“Your face is not like his, but your horns are the same, and his blood was yellow, as is yours.”_

“Twenty-three yearth,” you say quietly. You don't know exactly how old you are, but if he played any part in your existence, he must have done it shortly before or shortly after the failed quest for the Amulet. Without thinking about it, you pull your legs up and rest your chin on your knees. “I don't have any family.” _Except Aradia._ But she's not here, and you don't know if you have her any more.

A pause. You aren't certain, and it's hard to tell through the ominous press of the ghost's aura, but you think he might be embarrassed.

 _“Marius was my friend,”_ says Sir Cosbie. _“But he was not a nurturing man. It is not in the nature of tieflings to care overmuch for their young.”_

You nod. Everyone knows that. “Where would he go?” you ask. “If he wathn't adventuring, if he wathn't with you, where would Mariuth be?”

 _“Where all tieflings go, Twinblood,”_ says Sir Cosbie. _“To the City of Shadows, wherever it is.”_

“Great.” You grab a pebble from the ground and throw it over the cliff. It flies out over the water and lands with a splash too small for you to see. “Tho that'th a dead end, too.”

“It doesn't have to be.”

You spin to see Jade lurking behind you, and glare at her. She's obviously been eavesdropping for who knows how long. Unperturbed, she drops to the ground next to you.

“It's a tiefling city, right?” she says. “So we just have to ask a tiefling!”

You snort. “And where are we going to find one of thothe?”

She doesn't stop staring at you. Her eyes are very, very green.

“Oh, fuck, no,” you say.

Jade's grin widens. “Oh, fuck, yes,” she says. “You're part-tiefling, Sollux.” A finger jabs you in the ribs, right where it hurts. “You're going to find the way to the City of Shadows!”

### Suggestions Used

 _ttd0000 -_ Jade and Bec: Share a meal cooked wolf style; freshly-killed, raw, and messy.

 _ttd0000 -_ Anybody: Try not to throw up upon seeing this.

 _TheWorldsMinion -_ Sollux: Embrace your more destructive tendencies, remind everyone why you and Aradia probably shouldn't split up.

 _Darwin G'wein -_ Broken Amulet: Now that the ghost-negotiator is gone, bother Sollux at the worst possible time(s) to make sure no one forgets your plot thread.

 _randomunintelligiblewords -_ Sollux: Get the lowdown from Sir Cosbie on what happened 23 years ago.

### System Notes

Sollux spends 2 Hero Points to knock down the cliff. 1/3 Hero points remain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next update Sunday 12th October.
> 
> TIEFLING CITY FUCK YEAH! :) This plot thread needed tugging and why the hell not?
> 
> EDIT: I am informed that [someone on the internet](http://lodadvoices.tumblr.com/) wants to do voice readings of lodad and is looking for people. IDK much about this sorta thing, but if it sounds like the sort of thing you do for fun, the link is there now.


	101. ==> Gamzee: Sense Something Amiss

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Hero point votes:**  
>  Sollux 6
> 
>  **Current Hero Points:**  
>  John 2/5, Rose 4/5, **Dave 3/3, Jade 3/3**  
>  Karkat 3/5, Gamzee 2/3, Terezi 4/5  
> Sollux 1/3, **Aradia 3/3, Kanaya 5/5**  
>  Jane 3/5, Jake 2/5, Roxy 2/3, Dirk 2/3

## ==> Gamzee: Sense Something Amiss

You lie all sprawled out down at the foot of the bench by the wall, eyes closed and ears open to be listening. The sounds around you all up and get to blurring into some miraculous melange, voices rising and falling and weaving up around each other. There's music playing up underneath them, some plinky-plunky shit you ain't even got the understanding of what it's meant to be sounding like, and the gentle whisper of raindrops all falling around and onto the Guild building. Motherfuckers know what it is to be up and having a party, you'll say that for them. Soon as you all came rolling back in they was up and to cooking a feast, and the party got itself started with some motherfucking congratulations and bitchin' storytelling.

That was some hours ago, and you're surprised by how wearied out you're becoming. Life seems faster and brighter these days, almost painful so, and then it all runs out of you at once to leave you like a ragdoll, limp and stuffed with straw. You can hear Karkat's voice clear over the crowd, shouting at some motherfucker who doubtless deserves the most of it. The sound makes the corner of your mouth twitch, but you can't get yourself to moving, not with how very stationary you now are.

A toe nudges you sharply in the ribs. You crack your eyes open and peer out from under your lashes at your most legal of sisters, who is sitting cross-legged on the bench over you and leaning on back against the wall.

“So,” she says, with that matriarch's smile that ain't no kind of smile at all. “Will you get up and intoxicate yourself into a stupor already, or are you planning to contaminate the floor with your impression of a decorative floor covering _all_ night?”

You smirk back up at a sister. “Already morning, my sharp-nosed motherfucker. Ain't seeing all that much need to be stupifying myself when I'm already motherfucking stupified enough.”

Her mouth twists up. “Stupified is the word.” She prods you again with her toe; fast as the flashes which have been lighting the sky, you snatch her foot and hold it in to your chest. With a slight tug you pull her off-balance, but rather than letting you wobble her she goes with the motion, slipping herself forwards and landing with them bony leg-hinges straight into your soft middle. You grunt and, sneaky-like, she takes advantage of the moment to be reclaiming her foot and capturing your wrists in return.

You stare up at her, crouched over your _(bruised, winded)_ self and holding your arms away from you, and let your motherfucking grin up and spread.

For a moment you swear to any motherfucking god as will take the oath that she's fixing to break your hands clean off, then her grip vanishes. You honestly ain't sure if it's a disappointment or a relief when she scoots off you, flush-faced. Ain't like you wouldn't be up for it- there's plenty of rooms you could vanish off to, or a long drape over in the corner if you ain't either of you feeling fussy- but there's a feeling on your skin like a layer of grime, and you got the feeling it ain't up and going to wash off any time soon. First you thought it was all part of the Pesh leaving you, but more lately you've awakened to the thought that perhaps it was being there all along, and the Pesh was making you not care, any more than you did when your hair was snarled or you was bleeding from out your flesh.

Shame ain't a feeling you're used to, and it ain't one you like much of. Until you've got the understanding of where in your blood it's breeding, you ain't planning to risk making more.

Terezi settles back onto the bench over you, folding her legs up under herself. There's silence for a time, a truce of sorts between you both. You hear the sound of your brother getting his shout on again, somewhere in the near distance.

“He motherfucking digs the shit out of you,” you say, before you can think to keep your word-trap shut. Terezi's head whips around and you see her eyebrows rise; you look away so as you don't get your feelings about _him_ and your feelings about _her_ all mixed up together. “Ain't so sure he knows it yet, but there's a light all in him comes out with the words on you.”

It's a light you've seen before, once, but not from Karkat, and you swore to Marah each way around and once through the heart that you'd never repeat a word she spoke of the man that had helped her make your brother. Not that she told you much; just enough to ease her own soul, on a day when it didn't have no easing. Karkat don't know there was love in his making, and you know why his mother didn't want him told. For there's not a force among the planes that will keep your shouty little motherfucker from ripping revenge for her cracked-up heart out of his father's hide, and Marah loved them two motherfuckers too much to wish that happening.

“Makes a person wonder why he'd bother with you, if he liked me that much,” says Terezi. Now it's your turn to be snapping your head around, dropping back out of the winding lane of memories you gone wandering down. She's smirking at you and you hate her, black as pitch and pit in that moment, before it strikes you as how she's taken her own fears to turn into a mockery of yours.

“Does, doesn't it?” you say, covering your own ugly motherfucking terror with a blanket of heavy-lidded arrogance. It's all the motherfucking _what-ifs,_ because Karkat's got no reason to choose between you as the world turns now. But what if he did? What if her blade was at your chest, your hand around her neck? Who would the motherfucker you love the most love most of all?

She's got the same questions. It's not where your hate is hatching from, but it sure as shit makes it hard to be talking about the nubby little motherfucker between you.

Terezi's eyes flick on out across the room. “I won't drive him away if you won't.” _From you,_ she don't add, but she ain't having to. It's a flag of peace, an offer of neutral territory.

You shake your head. “Ain't never gonna try for that, sister, but what he chooses is his own motherfucking choosing.”

She inclines her head to that, and it's an agreement. If Karkat chooses one of you above the other, it won't be because either of you pushed him to taking your side.

“What you even all up and wanting with that motherfucker, anyhow?” you ask. There's a warning note to it. You ain't got the wicked understanding of what plans she's concocting.

Her smile, to you, seems as genuine as any matriarch's. “None of your business,” she says, and snickers. “But if you really want to know, tell him I asked what he thinks of Tamlin.”

She jumps up and is off along her way before you can be asking more questions of that declaration. It's a mystery, sure enough, and one that you don't have time to contemplate before Karkat walks into your view and leans over to be seeing your face.

“If you want to trance, go the fuck upstairs, assnugget.”

You grin on up at your brother, insides going all sloppy and soft like what they do. “This motherfucker ain't getting' his trance on, my fine motherfucker. Just need a small rest, is all.”

Karkat snorts and crouches down, starting to push you up. You don't fight back. He's strong, you can feel it in his arms; chunky cords of muscle that have sprouted up out of him with all the good feeding and safe resting you've had in the weeks past. You find your thoughts wandering again, this time to how Karkat was made to be solid, an iron anchor to hold all the motherfuckers around him down to the earth below. Your own strength is all wire and fury, and it could be the ending of his but you're happy to let him pull you up and drape your arm over his shoulders.

“I'm going to trance,” he says, leading you towards the door and ignoring how your head is lolling on his shoulder. “Because this room is full of assholes and fuckwits and I am in serious danger of outshining all of them in their contest to be awarded the prize of most loathed sentient in the room.” He yawns and you watch, fascinated, as he rubs the small grains of sand out from his eyes with his free hand. The other is warm around your waist, holding a motherfucker standing upright. He looks young, and old, and so very motherfucking tired.

Your lawsister's puzzling question comes again to your thoughts, and you ask Karkat: “What you all up and thinking on a Heart-Marked motherfucker?”

Karkat snorts. “I think that if the Prince chose him, I'm a surface-dwelling hopbeast infant.” You make a quizzical noise and he turns you both, looks back to where the pretty golden Aelfen is flirting with a whole gathering crowd without a hurt face or unenchanted eye to be seen.

“I've been reading my dream journal,” Karkat says, quietly. “Terezi said- anyway, there's stuff in there about the Prince of Heart, and some humongous fucking dick called Sword Walker and an asshole who goes by Timaeus Testified who might all be the same shitwad or might be some prophets or marked stuff, fuck even knows. Point is, the only reason the Prince would choose that guy is to dick with someone and to further his apparently unassailable reputation as a mysteriously inscrutable strategic mastermind.” He huffs, breath puffing hot against your neck. “And much as I hate to admit it, he's not nearly annoying enough.”

You hum thoughtfully. You'd not picked up on it yourself, but then your religious education weren't anything to bet a world's fortunes on until recent times. Terezi, though, she was a Seerite. Still is. Ain't no way she's not figured what Karkat's picked up on. You wonder briefly if this was what she meant, that she's only got a fondness for your miracle brother on account of his visions and dreams, but then it comes to your recall that this part of his life is his to be dealing with however he wishes.

You glance up, and just as you had your suspect on, Karkat's eyes have moved and he's looking on at Terezi. Your elbow in his side makes him jump and gets his attention back onto you.

“You want her to be getting on to her wicked ways with you, best a motherfucker go be acting on it,” you say. “Life ain't a thing to be waiting and squandering on.”

Karkat turns his face all up a bright beacon of redness. His voice comes out somewhat muffled through the hand what he puts to his face. “Oh my flagellated gods, shut up, you utter shitlord.”

You shrug. “Just wanting you to be happy, best friend. She ain't planning on leaving you lonesome.” And if she does, if she even tries it, you will make her pay for every tear he sheds and twice for every one he don't.

Karkat don't answer your thoughts with words, but instead starts leading you on out again, back up to your rooms in the top of the Guild. They ain't so wicked fancy as the one you grew in, but they're serviceable and clean and dry, with thick piles of furs and rugs by the fireside ready for trancing. There's a fire going in Karkat's room, adjoined to yours, and you settle down with him in front of the dancing flames. He gets to grumbling as he kicks his boots off, and is already fading as he leans in against your side.

You wait a while, letting the warmth of the fire and your best friend seep into you, but although you're weary you ain't ready yet to be passing through into trance. Everything is buzzing about in your thoughts, looking for places to get to settling. You think on Tamlin downstairs, surrounded by admirers, and your brother next to you, snuggled in miraculous close.

You've heard it said as how a brother should be ashamed of his motherfucking self for doing the things he wishes of his body, but Myoc said that was no sort of truth. Even so, you had been scared that maybe that was the shame you had been feeling. You think now maybe as what that isn't all of it, though. Tamlin ain't never shown any wicked feeling such as makes your skin crawl, despite doing much of the same things, and unlike Terezi you don't feel a moment of blame from Karkat for the things you've done.

The bard laughs in your head, deep and dark, and you think on how different it was feeling the rage when he put it over you, than when you asked him for it. On how there are more than a few motherfuckers in the deep caverns who claimed they was friends and servants and helpers, whom you would be glad to gut and leave bleeding. Of your intended bride, and the wicked cold pit in your stomach when she gave you up the offer she thought you were pleading to hear.

It strikes you as maybe how your shameful heart ain't for a thing you've done, so much as for the why of that you done it, or that others done it to you and yet still are living. Hate ain't a feeling you're used to embracing, but you're starting to get the sense for it, and you think as maybe this is a thing you should talk on with Karkat. Later. When he ain't seeing his miracles.

You slide away from him, taking a moment to pull a blanket across to keep your best friend warm and safe in your absence. You take a moment to watch him, your miracle, your love. There's peace up inside him, you can sense it, and the war inside you longs to touch it and be calmed.

Instead you turn and walk away, feet loud in the silent stone passages and stairways. Dim torches flicker along the way and you turn aside from the golden glow and laughter of the feast hall, following the tug of something that takes you out through the postern gate and into the city alone. There's a chill in the air and you wrap your cloak around you, smelling the smoke and wine of earlier still clinging to the cloth.

It's raining out in the streets, darkness made darker by the heavy clouds covering up the sky, and for the first time out in the great wide world of the surface you feel as maybe you ain't about to detach yourself from the floor and go floating up, up and away into the forever above you. The water comes falling down in drops so thick and furious that there's hardly to being much air between them. You turn your face up to it and wonder on the miracles of how it got up there, anyhow. Water's a motherfucking heavy bitch, which is why them drops all get to falling. It's some wicked powerful magic to have it hover over your head.

The streets of Alftor are quiet and empty. Surface-dwellers live out in the sun, practically worship it along with their blasphemous gods, and it's all manner of motherfucking late for them. Even if it wasn't, you think as maybe they might have been in hiding from the rain. It don't bother you so much. The chill ain't the worst you've felt, and you like the feeling as it's washing you clean. You stick out your tongue and catch the drops as drip in, drinking up the skies' benediction.

In amongst all the splashing of the puddles and pools, you hear a splatter that ain't got half so much to do with water. You hesitate in the middle of the street, eyes scanning through the surroundings. You ain't seeing a figure within the sharp black-and-white lines of your darkvision, and there ain't a scrap of light to see with beyond that. Still, a shiver runs on through you, eyes you can't see seeing you from hiding.

Your left hand closes round your bicep, the mark under your clothes and in your skin warm in your thinking. It still scares you, that power you've got on loan from the god of murder and carnage, but you got a whisper of Myoc's voice in you to steady the quiver. You know a motherfucker as chose the god who chose you, and if he ain't so bad, then neither can you be.

And in a place like this, when the darkness is hiding enemies you can't do but sense, perhaps it is the Lord of all Desires who can keep your dreams the safest. You close your eyes, and listen.

There, in the shadows of an alley, another splash out of place. Your hand flings up and the power what is the bloodright of all Drow flies, a miracle spark of indigo light landing like an ember on your stalker and blossoming into a shining light, bright as a candle against the night-time. From where he's been at hiding Mohan stares at you with all manner of hatred, and then his own hand flicks out and you're shining in fiery orange.

You grin at him through streaked paint and bedraggled hair, then run.

He's not alone. You figure that out when a crossbow bolt clatters off the cobbles beside you, and again when you spin around a corner and see the shadows following close behind you. Mohan still glows, but his fellows don't. The anger in your is starting to burn all up through your chest. How motherfucking _dare_ he? You've been building a motherfucking _life_ in this place, free and clear of them and what they represent.

You told your mother you'd make a corpse of any she sent after you. You vow and intend to to just that as soon as a chance presents. For now you keep on running, your mother's dogs on your heels, looking for a better escape than the one you are not truly making. No fire lashes out behind you; you imagine it takes all Mohan can do to keep up with your fleeter feet. 

A shadow shifts in front of you and in your cavern-bright vision you see another flash of white hair closing in. _Motherfuckers._ You're outnumbered and herded, and you're going to need some manner of miracle if you're to fight clear of this without getting more harmed than is your preference. You ain't no sort of motherfucking cleric but being gods-chosen has to count for something. Losing all heed for the slippery stone underfoot and the buildings looming around about you, you close your eyes and pray like a motherfucking monk.

Your feet carry you around a corner and you almost get to tripping headlong over the figure what is leaning against the wall. You open your eyes to see a cloaked shadow, face pale under the hood. You stare for a second that seems long as an age, and the eyes what you cannot be seeing stare back at you.

“What you lookin' for, motherfucker?” the stranger asks, and mayhap it's her use of that one word, or mayhap it's the god you prayed to working his will through you, but you got no clue what it is that makes you say what wicked words you speak next.

“What, ain't this the way to the motherfucking carnival?” you ask. You don't mean the words with sincerity, but the stranger nods like you said a thing of import and slams her hand against the wall beside her. Wide-eyed you watch as the stonework cracks with light and swings on open. In moments you're finding yourself to be staring through a doorway at an elf whose hair is coloured in ragged rainbow clumps and whose face is a painted mask like to your own. Around them light seeps out to the alleyway, along with faint music and voices and the smell of a thousand smoky perfumes.

You stare an instant too long, and see their stances shift, but that's when the first of Mohan's hounds comes panting about the corner and runs into the doorkeeper. Blades flash, and the drow falls, her blood seeping into the gutter with the rain. You didn't even see it happen, but you don't see that as a reason to be standing about not doing a thing.

“They're chasing me,” you say, still all up and drifting in the dreamland to which you have somehow wandered. The doorkeeper nods and the painted stranger whistles along their fingers and you are knocked back as a surge of people come bursting out into the street. Somehow you are up and caught by the arms, marched between two strangers, all painted and dressed in the righteous fashion of colour and joy. Around you and out of the alleyway there forms a processing party, nonsensical and mirthful and, most of all, moving. You see a glimpse of the body, kicked through the closing door, and a glimmer of Mohan as the hunters all hide from the riotous parade.

It seems as what your prayers have been answered, at least in part. You stop struggling to reach your enemy and relax; of all gods, you know the Bard will give you your chance for blood. After a ways, when they see you have the idea of it, your escorts stop hauling you on and let you be moving yourself. You start on picking up the steps of the dance, and let yourself be guided about the dark, raining streets.

Time ceases to be a thing you're thinking on. You know as more than a few folk open their shutters to see what the commotion is being, but you are caught in the wicked magic of the sudden celebration and don't care none for their confusion. Tambors and rines give a rhythm that ain't quite music, and the knives that flash juggled in the air are sharp and ready for blood. Rain falls to make the streets slick, flickering like falling stars in the light of the torches the procession carries. Your blood pounds to the beat and the dancing is a motherfucking war march, and never in your life have you heard yourself laugh so carefree.

It's too long before you see that the procession has passed in a circle. Through the gaps between your brothers and sisters, you see the building you started from, approaching from another angle. This time you all up and get to entering through the streetwise door, worn and loose and with a clown the size of the corridor lurking behind it. You pass with the procession under his club, flinching, and he grins on down at you with chipped, orcish fangs.

In the room beyond the parade melts away like a miracle under the sun, their task in aiding you done with. The chamber is one of bright hangings and heavy-scented smoke, folks lying in rest about on cushions and couches. Your head pounds; you hear the Bard right under your surface screaming. You want to burn it down, desecrate every last scrap. It's the worship of your weakness, you can feel it in your bones; a bangle that should be beaten into a blade.

“Gamzee?”

The voice is familiar to you and you turn, to see the two Aelfen standing behind you. Unlike the other motherfuckers about the place, ain't neither of them painted nor lounging nor full of poisons what make a motherfucker's mind to melt away. One is gold and silver, the other silver and gold, and both wear red cloth tied about their wrists like it's to being a symbol for all to see.

Gwiryn the bard, worshipper of Blood, is looking all manner of stunned, but Dyffyd the Cleric of Blood smiles at you warm as ever, and goes to embrace you as a brother.

“I'm glad you're here,” he says, clasping your hand up in his own. “We've much to discuss.”

### Suggestions Used

 _Emiko842 -_ Gamzee and Terezi: bond over small shouty idiots.

 _Deshah -_ Karkat: Realize that this asshole can't be the chosen douchebag of the Prince of Heart; he's nothing like that taintlicker Dirk from your journal.

 _Ryo Hoshi -_ Gamzee: Try to get Karkat to stop undermining chances at rewarding relationships with others  & feel more secure.

 _1JakoftheMoon1 -_ Gamzee: Sense something amiss.

 _1JakoftheMoon1 -_ Drow Matriarchs: Sic a bounty hunter on these asshole protagonists. Actually, throw in a few extra ones for cannon fodder.

 _ttd0000 -_ Gamzee: Accidently answer correctly to gain info from cult member, have no idea what to do with it.

 _HUNRonin -_ Anyone: Escape from sticky situation via Flash Mob.

### System Notes

Gamzee's perception check = 14 VS Mohan's stealth check = 6

Gamzee spends 1 Hero Point to receive the aid of the Bard of Rage. 2/3 Hero Points remain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Very speculative this chapter. I think Gamzee's mind keeps wandering.
> 
> Have a good fortnight, all!


	102. ==> Dreamer: Wake

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Hero point votes:**  
>  Sollux 6
> 
>  **Current Hero Points:**  
>  John 2/5, Rose 4/5, **Dave 3/3, Jade 3/3**  
>  Karkat 3/5, Gamzee 2/3, Terezi 4/5  
> Sollux 1/3, **Aradia 3/3, Kanaya 5/5**  
>  Jane 3/5, Jake 2/5, Roxy 2/3, Dirk 2/3

## ==> Dreamer: Wake

Something is badly amiss.

Even if it were not for the fact that you would normally have awoken long ago, you are not in the place you usually find yourself when dreaming. Gone are the webs of light; the labyrinthine path of radiance that leads you, inorexably, to the predestined futures ahead. Instead you find yourself confronted with a darker tapestry, one that feels both alien and yet curiously familiar.

“I don't suppose you could enlighten me as to where I am?” There is little response to your question, save for some tenebrous roiling. You suppose that it is rather counter-intuitive to be requesting enlightenment from what are plainly beings of shadow.

“Have we met?” you try. This meets with somewhat more success. Ahead of you the writhing tentacles peel aside, opening an archway of deeper darkness into the core of their squamous mass. A sensation pushes against your thoughts, a jagged-edged conceptualisation of yourself moving forwards, being enveloped by the beings in front of you.

You consider the offer carefully. On the one hand, you have no idea if these beings can be trusted. On the other, you have the strong sensation that they are, if not friendly, at least disposed to be of assistance to you. There really are not words in any mortal tongue to describe the exact relationship, although Abyssal is capable of perfectly encapsulating the concept of _w'uln ngf'wgah'n,_ and you do not think that these beings would be wasteful of such a useful _s'uhnnyth._ But then, believing that you truly comprehend their motives would be foolish in the extreme.

There is no other path open to you, and in the end that decides your course. You step through the waiting archway and into the fleshy tunnel beyond. For an age you walk in darkness, surrounded by walls that breathe and are slick with chill moisture. The air hums with a sound that is no sound, whispers skittering through the back of your mind. There are concepts unfurling in your mind, ideas that feel like memories. You do not examine them too closely.

Ahead of you a sickly greenish light shines off the tunnel walls. You head towards it until you find yourself stepping out into a round chamber, glowing with illumination from an unknown source. Veins as broad as your arms pulse around you, and you can hear breathing in the air. In the centre of the room, a knot of twisted flesh rises into a pedestal, on top of which sits a metal throne. The seat and back are made from twisted, half-melted wires, thick as your fingers, which pierce the flesh below them and vanish into the floor.

The wires also pierce the arms of the figure sitting in the throne. You are entirely unsurprised to see the familiar figure, distressing as it is.

“I assume that you are the one I am to converse with,” you say. The copy of you on the throne raises her head; it's hard to tell in the unnatural light, but you think her hair has bleached silver-white, and her skin is as grey as slate. Her eyes glow with an inner light so powerful that you know without even feeling it that it burns everything in its path. When she opens her mouth, the same radiance shines from it.

Her words are... not human. Not Abyssal, either, but you understand them perfectly. Forewarned, you close your eyes and thus only have to hear the sickening sound of flesh tearing as she stands up.

A chill in the damp air announces her presence in front of you and you open your eyes to see that her injuries have already closed over. She studies you as carefully as you study her, then reaches out with one hand. You take it. Her skin feels rough and grainy, like stone.

Stairs bulge out of the organic ground where she walks and you follow her up, spiralling towards the ceiling where a large sphincter spins open to allow you out. The moment it cracks more of the green light pours in; you squint your eyes against the brightness as she leads you out- although out of where, you are still not sure. Even through your eyelids the world is saturated in brilliant green, and a fleeting memory passes through you- something about a wizard, and a place called Kansas? It's gone before you can make sense of it, and when your grey-skinned doppelganger hisses again you open your eyes.

In front of you a green sun burns.

You are hovering in space, nothing below your feet, nothing around you. Your doppelganger is gone. The blazing sun fills your world, fills your eyes, and you are unafraid until you realise that you are not alone, after all.

He stands next to you, the boy- your friend, your brother, your... what? Whatever he is, he tried to die to save you, and you did not want him to die alone. You can't see him, but you know that he is Red, and he is Time, and he is the Knight. There is a tablet beneath your feet, a stone bed, the lid of a crypt.

You are just a girl, and at the same time you know you are so much more. The sun fills your vision, and you look over to the boy.

Between one blink and the next you are in darkness again. The sense of memory fades, and you spend several long moments thinking carefully on what you have just been told.

“So,” you say, your voice sounding flat as the waiting presences swallow the words. “Do I serve you, or do you serve me?”

At first you think there is no response, but then in front of you a golden spark appears on the ground. It flees before you, drawing a line in the shadows. You chase after it, following the twists and turns, and as you do fragments of memory flitter past- not your memories, but ones that these beings have seen, that they have held close and guarded. The Seer's purview is the path, and now the monsters that lurk in the forest are showing you what you missed by turning away from the trees. It's a voice you don't recognise that speaks, and the archaic speech your ears hear is not the meaning your mind understands.

A ceremony, heavy armour, a bowed head. _“...give my vow, to defend my home and kin, bound by Blood and Oath...”_

Speaking to a brother in arms, a tragedy for the faith, a rumour from the capital. _“...I don't believe it, not the priesthood. Even the thought is heresy...”_

Whispers at the tavern, fear growing cold and sick in the belly. _“...it'll be alright if we keep the faith, you'll see...”_

Holding back the parties in a quarrel, a brutal argument about to turn bloody. _“...he's a liar, he has to be! Look what he's doing to this country...”_

Fire. Disbelief. Loss. _“NO! GOD, NO!”_

Empty, cold, silent. _“...please, why. Please. Why. Please.”_

Anger. A search. Darkness, masking the path. _“...no, purely scholarly interest...”_

And like heartbeat, a single pulsing truth pushing onwards and consuming everything. Revenge. Revenge. Revenge.

And then... the truth.

You are standing at the edge of a chasm, on a cliff of light. Ahead of you you see two figures, sitting at the edge of the cliff. One is sitting back from the edge, casting wary glances towards it. The other is about half an inch from falling off, legs dangling in the air. From the thick black hair and the horns, you guess they're tieflings, or at least looking like tieflings for the moment. There is something familiar about both of them.

TT: Hello, there.

They both turn, and you weren't wrong about the tiefling thing. The girl has impressive horns, large and spiralling like a ram's. The boy has short little nubs, and a glare that challenges anyone to comment.

CG: OH. IT'S YOU. ABOUT FUCKING TIME.   
AA: hi!!!

You walk towards them and sit in the space between them. Up close, you're having trouble making them out properly. Their faces are clear enough, but their clothes won't settle. One minute they both seem to be wearing oddly-cut but basically unremarkable clothes in black and grey. The next they are dressed in ornate ceremonial outfits, hers red, his brown. The next he is cloaked in ragged, whispering grey and she is surrounded by blood-red mists.

Looking down at yourself, you see a similar transformation occurring.

TT: I must apologise. I'm certain we've met before, but I don't seem to remember your names.

The boy slaps himself in the face with both hands, hard.

CG: FUCKING TYPICAL.   
AA: dont be rude karkat!   
AA: its nice to see you again rose   
AA: im aradia   
AA: also the maid of time!!!

She sticks her hand out for you shake. After a moment, you do so.

TT: I assume, from what I have been seeing, that Karkat and I are also gods?

Karkat growls at you.

CG: YES, WE ARE GODS.   
CG: WHICH I HAVE TOLD YOU BEFORE, JUST SO WE'RE AWARE OF THIS.   
CG: BOTH OF YOU.   
CG: AND THIS IS REALLY NOT THE PLACE FOR THIS MUSCLE BEAST SHIT.

He glances towards the pit. You follow his gaze.

TT: Where precisely are we?   
TT: And, perhaps more pertinently, what is down there?   
CG: WE ARE AT THE END OF THE FUCKING UNIVERSE, WHICH BY HAPPY COINCIDENCE ALSO HAPPENS TO BE WHAT IS DOWN THERE.   
CG: IT'S LIKE A PERFECT FUCKING STORM OF SHIT YOU DON'T WANT TO BE ANYWHERE NEAR.   
CG: CAN WE PLEASE JUST GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE BEFORE HE WAKES UP?   
TT: Who is “he”?   
CG: I ALREADY TOLD YOU, LALONDE.   
CG: THE END OF THE UNIVERSE.   
TT: Oh, dear.

Aradia looks at you, head tilted.

AA: why do you say that??   
TT: Because the course I followed here is the path of the future.   
TT: The not-so-distant future.   
CG: ...   
CG: FUCK.   
CG: AND I THOUGHT THE ZOMBIES WERE BAD NEWS.   
TT: Yes, it is a concerning development, isn't it?   
AA: so what are we going to do about it?   
CG: WELL, THAT DEPENDS ON WHETHER LALONDE HAS DEVELOPED THE SLIGHTEST ABILITY TO FOLLOW BASIC INSTRUCTIONS SINCE WE LAST SPOKE TO HER.   
CG: GIVEN THAT I TOLD HER TWICE NOW TO ASK A LUNAR LORD FOR SOME FUCKING HELP.   
TT: Actually, we did do that.   
AA: yay!   
CG: WHICH ASSHOLE WAS IT AND WHAT DID THEY SAY?   
TT: Regulus. And she refused to be of any particular assistance until we arranged some romantic entanglement for her.   
CG: YEAH THAT SOUNDS LIKE HER. ANYTHING IN PARTICULAR?   
TT: She said something about finding us a “Karkitty”. Anything you want to mention, Karkat?   
CG: FUCK YOU, FUCK HER, AND FUCK EVERYTHING.   
CG: I'VE CHANGED MY MIND. I'M WAKING THIS ASSHOLE UP.

The fact that he makes absolutely no move towards the pit suggests to you that he is, as usual, engaging in hyperbole.

TT: Actually, she did mention one other possibility.   
TT: Thirteen people who died twenty-four years ago, and that the Brotherhood of the Black Hand would have more information.   
CG: WELL, THE THIRTEEN PEOPLE WOULD BE YOU LOT.   
CG: AS FOR THE BROTHERHOOD...   
CG: SHIT.   
CG: I DO KNOW SOMEONE WHO MIGHT BE ABLE TO FIND THEM FOR US.   
CG: BUT HE'S MORE USELESS THAN YOU ARE, AND THAT'S SAYING SOMETHING.   
CG: ASSUMING MY IDIOT WAKING SELF EVEN REMEMBERS TO ASK HIM, AND THAT WE GET TO DREAM TOGETHER ANY TIME IN THE NEXT SIX MONTHS AFTER.   
AA: well why dont you two meet up then?   
AA: i mean it would make this stuff easier to organise

Karkat looks horrified. You nod thoughtfully.

TT: Good thinking, Aradia.   
TT: Since I currently have no idea where I am, or in fact what happened to get me here, it would probably be best if you told me your location, Karkat.

He glowers and purses his lips. Aradia folds her arms and stares at him.

AA: come on karkat   
AA: its not like we have any better ideas   
CG: UGH, FINE.   
CG: WE'RE IN THE NORTHERN DUCHIES. CITY-STATE OF ALFTOR, AT LEAST FOR THE MOMENT.   
CG: YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE MUCH TROUBLE FINDING US. SUBTLETY IS LOST ON THE IDIOTS I TRAVEL WITH.

You incline your head towards him.

TT: Thank you, Karkat. I'll endeavour to see you soon.   
CG: YEAH, YOU BETTE-

_CRACK!_

The world splits open. Light pours in. You stretch between two places, two presents, and then snap back; you are lying on your back on scrubby grass, the two halves of a mask sliding from your face, and John is standing over you with bloody knuckles and a truly ludicrous hammer in one hand.

“Wow,” he says, his eyes two wide circles of blue. “It worked!” He turns and waves to someone- Roxy, who's helping a bloodied and dazed Jane up from the ground. “ROXY! I BROKE IT! I BROKE THE EVIL DEMON-MASK!”

“Not a demon-mask,” you say, correcting him as you stagger upright. He rushes forward to help you. “I think... I think it was trying to help.”

“Some help,” says another voice. An arm slides under yours, helping you to stand, and you look around into a familiar mask. Dave is standing right next to you, and you are struck with a memory, of a Knight of Time and a Seer of Light before a green sun, a single death from godhood.

It comes and goes in a blink, but it's enough to be sure.

“Alftor,” you say, as your friends come to gather around you. “We have to go to Alftor, right now.”

“What's in Alftor?” asks Dirk, sauntering up.

You think back to your dream, already fading in your mind, but still clear enough.

“The Knight of Blood,” you tell him.

### Suggestions Used

 _Evi -_ Rose: Dream of a Green Sun.

 _Hana -_ Rose: Converse with the spirit/s behind mask

 _HUNRonin -_ The Forces Of Evil: Monologue internally about the state of your plans. Reveal absolutely nothing of importance whatsoever.

 _nanrea -_ Rose: Meet the angry whirlwind in your dreams again, and this time extract some pertinent information.

 _Deshah -_ Dreaming!Rose: Attempt to attain information about your godhood from your fellow dreamer.

 _Kombo –_ Dreamer: Have an important and enlightening conversation with the other dreamers and actually remember it upon awakening.

 _Ailavyn_Siniyash -_ Dreamer: Wake (optional: feeling strangely contented)

 _1JakoftheMoon1 -_ John: PUNCH THE DEMON, PUNCH THE DEMON!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Right, hopefully that's all the important plot points recapped! Now we can get on with this nonsense.
> 
> Also I totally did not spend the two weeks I had to write this chapter rewatching FMA and then dashed off this at the last minute. Nope. Not at all. *whistles innocently*


	103. -- LEVEL SEVEN --

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Hero point votes:**  
>  Sollux 7  
> Rose 1
> 
> SOLLUX GAINS ONE HERO POINT!  
> Voting now open for the next Hero Point award: one person will get one after three chapters. 
> 
> **Current Hero Points:**  
>  John 3/5, Rose 5/5, Dave 3/3, Jade 3/3  
> Karkat 4/5, Gamzee 3/3, Terezi 5/5  
> Sollux 3/3, Aradia 3/3, Kanaya 5/5  
> Jane 4/5, Jake 3/5, Roxy 3/3, Dirk 3/3

JOHN EGBERT [FIGHTER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/fighter.html#_fighter) ([TWO-HANDED FIGHTER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/fighter.html#_two-handed-fighter)) 7  
NEUTRAL GOOD

TL:DR - John becomes more devastating with a two-handed weapon and harder to escape in melee combat. His Godmark gives him the power to turn into an insubstantial mist.

[ ](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/thj4e22n4vt8re1/John%20Egbert.png?dl=0)

BASIC STATISTICS  
GENDER: Male  
HAIR/EYES: Black hair, blue eyes  
HOMELAND: City of Porthaven (Outer Ring)  
DEITY: The Heir of Breath  
LANGUAGES: Common, High Elven  
RACE: Tuatha (High Elf)

ATTRIBUTES  
STRENGTH: 15[+2]  
DEXTERITY: 13[+1]  
CONSTITUTION: 12[+1]  
INTELLIGENCE: 10[+0]  
WISDOM: 12[+1]  
CHARISMA: 13[+1]

HIT POINTS: 54/54  
HERO POINTS: 3/5  
INITIATIVE: +1  
BASE SPEED/S: 30ft (land)

ARMOUR CLASS [AC]: 16  
TOUCH AC: 11  
FLAT-FOOTED AC: 15

BASE ATTACK BONUS [BAB]: +7/+2  
BASIC MELEE ATTACK: +9/+4  
BASIC RANGED ATTACK: +8/+3  
COMBAT MANEUVER BONUS [CMB]: +9/+4(11 for Sundering)  
COMBAT MANEUVER DEFENCE [CMD]: 20(22 for Sundering)

SAVES  
FORTITUDE: +7  
REFLEX: +4  
WILL: +4

[WEAPONS/ATTACKS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_weapon-descriptions)  
+1 [GHOST-TOUCHED](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/magicArmsAndArmor/weaponSpecialAbilities.html#_ghost-touch) [PLANAR](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/magicArmsAndArmor/weaponSpecialAbilities.html#_planar) [LUCERNE HAMMER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/advancedGear.html#_lucerne-hammer) \- Magical. Wielded two-handed and technically a polearm, this weapon has greater reach than most, a spike on the reverse of the head, and is also FUCKING TERRIFYING.  
[DAGGER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_dagger) \- Can be thrown, range 10ft.

EQUIPMENT - [CARRYING CAPACITY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/additionalRules.html#_carrying-capacity) (STR 16)

EQUIPMENT - ITEM SLOTS  
CLOTHING: ARTISAN'S OUTFIT  
This outfit consists of a shirt with buttons, drawstring pants, shoes, and a slightly battered hat. It also includes a belt for carrying small items such as a money pouch.

ARMOUR: CHAIN SHIRT OF SPELL-STORING DEFENCE +1  
+5 armour bonus, +4 max DEX bonus, -1 Armour Check Penalty, 20% Arcane Spell Failure Chance, LIGHT  
SPECIAL: This variant on [Spell-Storing Armour](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/magicArmsAndArmor/armorSpecialAbilities.html#_spell-storing) allows a spellcaster to store a single beneficial touch spell of up to 2rd level in it. Any time a creature hits the wearer with a melee attack or melee touch attack, the armour can cast the spell on the wearer as a swift action if the wearer desires. Once the spell has been cast from the armour, a spellcaster can cast any other beneficial touch spell of up to 3rd level into it. The armour magically imparts to the wielder the name of the spell currently stored within it.

EQUIPMENT - POSSESSIONS  
+1 Ghost-Touched Planar Lucerne Hammer 12lbs, Chain Shirt of Spell-Storing Defence +1 25lbs, Dagger 1lb, Waterskin 4lbs, Masterwork Studded Leather 20lbs

>BACKPACK, MASTERWORK 4lbs (Capacity 60lbs, +1 STR to carry loads)  
Tent (Medium, 2 people) 30lbs, Bedroll 5lbs, Parade Armour 20lbs

>POUCH, BELT 0.5lbs (Capacity 10lbs)  
Flint and Steel, Bird Feather Token [x2], Itching Powder [x1] 2lbs

TOTAL 100.5lbs (41.5lbs without backpack)

EQUIPMENT - MONEY  
0CP, 6SP, 60GP, 0PP  
OTHER:

SKILLS  
TRAINED  
BLUFF +5(4), DIPLOMACY +7(6), +KNOWLEDGE(DUNGEONEERING) +9(6), +PROFESSION(PORTHAVEN GUARD) +5(1)

UNTRAINED  
ACROBATICS +1*, APPRAISE +0, +CLIMB +2*, +CRAFT +0, DISGUISE +1, ESCAPE ARTIST +1*, HEAL +1, +INTIMIDATE +1, PERCEPTION +3, PERFORM +1, +RIDE +1*, SENSE MOTIVE +1, STEALTH +1*, +SURVIVAL +1, +SWIM +2*  
(FLY +1*)

*Armour Check Penalty: Skill at –0 due to armour worn.  
+Class Skill

FEATS  
[POWER ATTACK [REQUIRES: STR 13, BAB+1]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_power-attack)  
The character can make exceptionally deadly melee attacks by sacrificing accuracy for strength.

[FURIOUS FOCUS [REQUIRES: POWER ATTACK]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/advancedFeats.html#_furious-focus)   
Even in the midst of fierce and furious blows, the character can find focus in the carnage and his seemingly wild blows strike home.

[BLUDGEONER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/ultimateCombatFeats.html#_bludgeoner)   
The character can knock foes out cold with just about any blunt instrument.

[STEP UP [REQUIRES: BAB +1]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#step-up)   
The character can close the distance when a foe tries to move away.

[RACIAL ABILITIES: ELVEN](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advancedRaceGuide/coreRaces/elves.html#_elf-racial-traits)  
LANGUAGES - Tuatha begin play speaking Common and High Elven. Tuatha with high Intelligence scores can choose from the following: Celestial, Draconic, Gnoll, Gnome, Goblin, Orc, and Sylvan.

SPECIAL ABILITIES  
GODMARKED  
[HERO’S FORTUNE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/advancedNewRules.html#_hero's-fortune) \- Even at the start of his career, it was clear that the character had a chance at greatness, and his legend continues to grow with every adventure.  
[DEFLECTION AURA](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/cleric.html#_deflection-aura) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) - The character can emit an aura that makes nearby allies harder to hit for a short time dependent on his character level.  
EXTRA - The character receives a +1 resistance bonus on saving throws. This bonus increases by +1 for every 5 levels he possesses.  
[WHISPERING WIND](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/whisperingWind.html#_whispering-wind) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (3 USES/DAY) - Sends a short message 1 mile/level.  
[WIND WALL](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/windWall.html#_wind-wall) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (2 USES/DAY) – The character can summon the breeze to deflect arrows, smaller creatures, and gases.  
[GASEOUS FORM](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/gaseousForm.html#gaseous-form) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) - The character and all his gear become insubstantial, misty, and translucent.

CLASS FEATURES  
WEAPON AND ARMOUR PROFICIENCY: FIGHTER  
A fighter is proficient with all simple and martial weapons and with all armour (heavy, light, and medium) and shields (including tower shields).

FEAT: [CLEAVE [REQUIRES: POWER ATTACK]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_cleave)  
The fighter can strike two adjacent foes with a single swing.

FEAT: [GREAT CLEAVE [REQUIRES: CLEAVE, BAB +4]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_great-cleave)  
The fighter can strike many adjacent foes with a single blow.

FEAT: [PUSHING ASSAULT [REQUIRES: STR 15, POWER ATTACK, BAB +1]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/advancedFeats.html#_pushing-assault)  
A strike made with a two-handed weapon can push a similar sized opponent backward.

[SHATTERING STRIKE (+1)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/fighter.html#_shattering-strike) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
At 2nd level, the two-handed fighter gains a bonus to sunder attempts and on damage rolls made against objects. 

[OVERHAND CHOP [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/fighter.html#_overhand-chop)  
At 3rd level, a two-handed fighter making a single attack with a two-handed weapon strikes more powerfully.

[WEAPON TRAINING (HAMMERS) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/fighter.html#_weapon-training)  
_NB: Lucerne Hammers are part of the “Polearms” Group, and not the “Hammers” Group._  
At 5th level, the two-handed fighter selects a group of [two-handed melee weapons](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/fighter.html#_two-handed-fighter) with which he can hit harder and more accurately.

FEAT: [DISRUPTIVE [REQUIRES: FIGHTER LEVEL 6]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_disruptive)  
The fighter's training makes it difficult for enemy spellcasters to safely cast spells near him.

[BACKSWING [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/fighter.html#backswing)  
At 7th level, when a two-handed fighter makes a full attack with a two-handed weapon, he adds double his Strength bonus on damage rolls for all attacks after the first. This ability replaces armor training 2.

* * *

ROSE LALONDE [ORACLE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/baseClasses/oracle.html) \- [DARK TAPESTRY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spellcastingClassOptions/oracle.html#_dark-tapestry) ([SEER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spellcastingClassOptions/oracle.html#_seer_\(archetype\))) 7  
TRUE NEUTRAL

TL:DR - Rose gains the ability to drive her foes to madness with the power of the unfathomable void. Also she's got faster reactions when a fight starts and her Godmark makes her more fortunate on occasion.

[ ](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/3jmigabf3wsuce2/Rose%20Lalonde.png?dl=0)

BASIC STATISTICS  
GENDER: Female  
HAIR/EYES: Blonde hair, purple eyes  
HOMELAND: City of Porthaven (Temple District)  
DEITY: The Seer of Light  
LANGUAGES: Common, Celestial, Abyssal, Draconic, Sylvan  
RACE: Aasimar

ATTRIBUTES  
STRENGTH: 8[-1]  
DEXTERITY: 12[+1]  
CONSTITUTION: 10[+0]  
INTELLIGENCE: 14[+2]  
WISDOM: 15[+2]  
CHARISMA: 18[+4]

HIT POINTS: 40/40  
HERO POINTS: 5/5  
INITIATIVE: +5  
BASE SPEED/S: 30ft (land)

ARMOUR CLASS [AC]: 18  
TOUCH AC: 11  
FLAT-FOOTED AC: 17

BASE ATTACK BONUS [BAB]: +5  
BASIC MELEE ATTACK: +4  
BASIC RANGED ATTACK: +6   
COMBAT MANEUVER BONUS [CMB]: +4  
COMBAT MANEUVER DEFENCE [CMD]: 15

SAVES  
FORTITUDE: +2  
REFLEX: +3  
WILL: +7

[WEAPONS/ATTACKS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_weapon-descriptions)  
[CLAWS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/sorcerer.html#_abyssal) \- Grow instantly, 7 rounds/day, double attack (claw-claw).  
[DAGGER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_dagger) \- Can be thrown, range 10ft.  
[COLOUR SPRAY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/colorSpray.html#_color-spray) [WAND](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/magicItems/wands.html#_wands) (3/Day) – Standard Action to activate, does not provoke Attacks of Opportunity. 

EQUIPMENT - [CARRYING CAPACITY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/additionalRules.html#_carrying-capacity) (STR 8)

EQUIPMENT - ITEM SLOTS  
CLOTHING: ENTERTAINER'S OUTFIT  
This set of flashy- perhaps even gaudy- clothes is for entertaining. While the outfit looks whimsical, its practical design lets the character tumble, dance, walk a tightrope, or just run if the audience turns ugly.

ARMOUR: [SOOTHSAYER'S RAIMENT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/magicItems/armor.html#_soothsayer%27s-raiment) (DARK TAPESTRY – [WINGS OF DARKNESS REVELATION](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spellcastingClassOptions/oracle.html#_wings-of-darkness))  
+7 armour bonus, +2 max DEX bonus, -4 Armour Check Penalty, 30% Arcane Spell Failure Chance, MEDIUM.  
SPECIAL: This +1 chainmail is attuned to a particular oracular mystery and contains a revelation associated with that mystery. While wearing the armor, an oracle has access to that revelation and may use it as if she had it as a normal class feature. For divination spells with a percentage-based chance of success (such as augury and divination), the wearer's chance increases by +5.

EQUIPMENT - POSSESSIONS  
Colour Spray Wand, Dagger 1lb, Soothsayer's Raiment 40lbs, Waterskin 4lbs, Holy Symbol (Silver) 1lb, Signet Ring

>POUCH, BELT 0.5lbs (Capacity 10lbs)  
Flint and Steel, Sewing Needle, String/Twine [50ft] 0.5lbs

>POUCH, BELT 0.5lbs (Capacity 10lbs)  
Stationary, Sealing Wax 1lb, Ink (Black) [1oz. Vial], Ink (Purple) [1oz. Vial], Inkpen, Journal 1lb

TOTAL 9.5lbs

EQUIPMENT - MONEY  
9CP, 5SP, 17GP, 0PP  
OTHER:

SKILLS  
TRAINED  
+DIPLOMACY +14(6), +INTIMIDATE +13(7), +KNOWLEDGE HISTORY +8(3), +KNOWLEDGE NOBILITY +7(2), +KNOWLEDGE PLANES +15(7), +KNOWLEDGE RELIGION +10(5), +SENSE MOTIVE +12(7), +SPELLCRAFT +10(5), USE MAGIC DEVICE +5(2)

UNTRAINED  
ACROBATICS +1*, APPRAISE +2, BLUFF +3, CLIMB -1*, +CRAFT +2, +DISGUISE +3, ESCAPE ARTIST +1*, +HEAL +2, PERCEPTION +4, PERFORM +3, RIDE +1*, +STEALTH +1*, SURVIVAL +2, SWIM -1*  
(FLY +1*)

*Armour Check Penalty: Skill at –4 due to armour worn.  
+Class Skill

FEATS  
[COMBAT CASTING](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_combat-casting)  
The character is adept at spellcasting when threatened or distracted.

[SKILL FOCUS (KNOWLEDGE PLANES)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_skill-focus)   
The character is particularly adept at the selected skill.

[ELDRITCH HERITAGE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/ultimateMagicFeats.html#_eldritch-heritage) ([ABYSSAL](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/sorcerer.html#_abyssal)) [REQUIRES: CHA 13, SKILL FOCUS (KNOWLEDGE PLANES), CHARACTER LEVEL 3RD]  
The character gains the first-level bloodline power for the selected bloodline, slightly weaker than a sorcerer of equivalent level. In this case, that power is claws.

[IMPROVED INITIATIVE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#improved-initiative)   
The character's quick reflexes allow her to react rapidly to danger.

[RACIAL ABILITIES: AASIMAR](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advancedRaceGuide/featuredRaces/aasimars.html#_aasimar-racial-traits)  
AASIMARS DO NOT COUNT AS OUTSIDERS FOR THE PURPOSE OF THIS SETTING.  
[DAYLIGHT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/daylight.html#_daylight) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Aasimars can touch an object and cause it to shed a brilliant light which drives back even magical darkness.  
LANGUAGES – Aasimars begin play speaking Common and Celestial. Aasimars with high Intelligence scores can choose any of the following bonus languages: Draconic, Dwarven, High Elven, Gnome, Halfling, and Sylvan.

SPECIAL ABILITIES  
GODMARKED  
[HERO’S FORTUNE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/advancedNewRules.html#_hero's-fortune) \- Even at the start of her career, it was clear that the character had a chance at greatness, and her legend continues to grow with every adventure.  
[LORE KEEPER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/cleric.html#_knowledge-domain) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] – The character can touch a creature to learn about its abilities and weaknesses.  
EXTRA – The character treats all Knowledge skills as class skills.  
[TRUE STRIKE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/trueStrike.html#_true-strike) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (3 USES/DAY) - The character gains temporary, intuitive insight into the immediate future during her next attack.  
[AUGERY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/augury.html#_augury) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (2 USES/DAY) - Tells whether a particular action will bring good or bad results in the immediate future.  
[BORROW FORTUNE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/spells/borrowFortune.html#borrow-fortune) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Allows any d20 roll to be rolled twice, keeping the better result.

CLASS FEATURES  
WEAPON AND ARMOUR PROFICIENCY: ORACLE  
Oracles are proficient with all simple weapons, light armour, medium armour, and shields (except tower shields).

[CURSE: TONGUES (Abyssal)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/baseClasses/oracle.html#_tongues)  
Whenever the oracle is in combat, she can only speak and understand the Abyssal tongue. She automatically knows the language and can speak it at other times voluntarily.

[REVELATION: NATURAL DIVINATION [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY] (2 USES/DAY)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/baseClasses/oracle.html#_natural-divination)  
An oracle can read the entrails of a freshly killed animal, interpret the flights of birds, and chart marks in dirt or stone to gain small advantages at some point in the next day.

REVELATION: [GIFT OF PROPHECY [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spellcastingClassOptions/oracle.html#_gift-of-prophecy)(1 USE/DAY)  
Once per day, the Oracle can enter a trance to gain a glimpse of the future equivalent to the benefits of an [divination](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/magic.html#_divination) spell with 90% effectiveness.

REVELATION: [GIFT OF MADNESS [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] ](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spellcastingClassOptions/oracle.html#gift-of-madness)(7 USES/DAY, 7 ROUNDS)  
The Oracle taps into the unthinkable void between the stars and causes a single living creature within 30 feet to become confused for 1 round.

SPELLS  
LEVEL 0 [At Will] Save DC 14  
[DETECT MAGIC](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/detectMagic.html#detect-magic), [ENHANCED DIPLOMACY](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/all-spells/e/enhanced-diplomacy), [GUIDANCE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/guidance.html#guidance), [LIGHT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/light.html#light), [READ MAGIC](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/readMagic.html#read-magic), [RESISTANCE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/resistance.html#_resistance), [STABILIZE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/stabilize.html#stabilize)

LEVEL 1 [7/Day] Save DC 15  
[ABADAR'S](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/all-spells/a/abadar-s-truthtelling) [TRUTHTELLING](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/zoneOfTruth.html#zone-of-truth), [CURE LIGHT WOUNDS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/cureLightWounds.html#cure-light-wounds), [ENTROPIC SHIELD](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/entropicShield.html#_entropic-shield), [INFLICT LIGHT WOUNDS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/inflictLightWounds.html#inflict-light-wounds), [EMBRACE DESTINY](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/all-spells/e/embrace-destiny), [WEAPONWAND](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/all-spells/w/weaponwand), [FACE OF THE DEVOURER](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/all-spells/f/face-of-the-devourer)

LEVEL 2 [7/Day] Save DC 16  
[ANCESTRAL COMMUNION](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/all-spells/a/ancestral-communion), [CURE MODERATE WOUNDS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/cureModerateWounds.html#_cure-moderate-wounds), [DETECT THOUGHTS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/detectThoughts.html#_detect-thoughts), [INFLICT MODERATE WOUNDS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/inflictModerateWounds.html#_inflict-moderate-wounds), [BLINDING RAY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advancedRaceGuide/featuredRaces/dhampirs.html#blinding-ray)

LEVEL 3 [5/Day] Save DC 17  
[CURE SERIOUS WOUNDS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/cureSeriousWounds.html#_cure-serious-wounds), [INFLICT SERIOUS WOUNDS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/inflictSeriousWounds.html#_inflict-serious-wounds), [CLAIRAUDIENCE/CLAIRVOYANCE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/clairaudienceClairvoyance.html#_clairaudience-clairvoyance), [SEARING LIGHT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/searingLight.html#searing-light)

* * *

DAVE STRIDER [ROGUE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/rogue.html#_rogue) ([SWASHBUCKLER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/rogue.html#_swashbuckler)) 7  
TRUE NEUTRAL

TL:DR - Dave's sneak attack is more powerful and his Godmark permits him to delay someone else in time briefly.

[ ](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/z4phu07mjzo543t/Dave%20Strider.png?dl=0)

BASIC STATISTICS  
GENDER: Male  
HAIR/EYES: Blonde hair, red eyes  
HOMELAND: City of Porthaven (No Fixed Abode)/The Greenweald Forest Region (No Fixed Abode)  
DEITY: The Knight of Time  
LANGUAGES: Common, Celestial, High Elven  
RACE: Aasimar

ATTRIBUTES  
STRENGTH: 14[+2]  
DEXTERITY: 15[+2]  
CONSTITUTION: 13[+1]  
INTELLIGENCE: 13[+1]  
WISDOM: 12[+1]  
CHARISMA: 10[+0]

HIT POINTS: 48/48  
HERO POINTS: 3/3  
INITIATIVE: +2  
BASE SPEED/S: 30ft (land)

ARMOUR CLASS [AC]: 15  
TOUCH AC: 12  
FLAT-FOOTED AC: 13

BASE ATTACK BONUS [BAB]: +5  
BASIC MELEE ATTACK: +7  
BASIC RANGED ATTACK: +7  
COMBAT MANEUVER BONUS [CMB]: +7  
COMBAT MANEUVER DEFENCE [CMD]: 19

SAVES  
FORTITUDE: +3  
REFLEX: +7  
WILL: +3

[WEAPONS/ATTACKS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_weapon-descriptions)  
CALIBURN (+2 INTELLIGENT UNKNOWN [BASTARD SWORD](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_bastard-sword)) - This large hand-and-a-half weapon can magically repair itself when broken. Any other qualities of this weapon are as yet unknown.  
[LONGSWORD](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_longsword) \- [Fragile Quality](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/combat/primitiveArmorAndWeapons.html#fragile), can use two-handed for additional damage but cannot use buckler.  
[SHORTSWORD](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_shortsword)  
[DAGGER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_dagger) \- Can be thrown, range 10ft.

EQUIPMENT - [CARRYING CAPACITY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/additionalRules.html#_carrying-capacity) (STR 15)

EQUIPMENT - ITEM SLOTS  
CLOTHING: PICKPOCKET'S OUTFIT + MASK  
Outfitted with concealed pockets, this clothing gives the character a +2 bonus on hiding small objects on his person. It consists of a pull-on shirt with long sleeves, a loose jacket, drawstring pants, boots and a sturdy belt. The mask is an ornately decorated strip of dark fabric with eye-holes, that both mimics and mocks a stereotypical "bandit" mask.

ARMOUR: LEATHER ARMOUR  
+2 armour bonus, +6 max DEX bonus, -0 Armour Check Penalty, 10% Arcane Spell Failure Chance, LIGHT

SHIELD: BUCKLER  
+1 shield bonus, -1 Armour Check Penalty, 5% Arcane Spell Failure Chance  
SPECIAL: The character can use his shield arm to wield a weapon, but takes a -1 penalty on attack rolls while doing so, and loses the +1 shield bonus to AC until his next turn. It is not possible to shield bash with a buckler.

EQUIPMENT - POSSESSIONS  
Caliburn 6lbs, Longsword (Fragile) 4lbs, Shortsword 2lbs, Leather Armour 15lbs, Clothing (Mask, 3gp) 1lb, Buckler 5lbs, Dagger 1lb

>BACKPACK, MASTERWORK 4lbs (Capacity 60lbs, +1 STR to carry loads)  
Tent (Small, 1 person) 20lbs, Bedroll 5lbs, Kit (Cooking) 2lbs

>POUCH, BELT 0.5lbs (Capacity 10lbs)  
Flint and Steel, Whetstone 1lb

>POUCH, PATHFINDER 1lbs (Capacity 10lbs)[Extra-Dimensional Space, Command Word Activated, Does Not Detect As Magical]  
Tools (Thieves') 1lb, Waterskin 4lbs

TOTAL 50.5lbs (19.5lbs without backpack)

EQUIPMENT - MONEY  
8CP, 0SP, 3GP, 0PP  
OTHER:

SKILLS  
TRAINED  
+ACROBATICS +13(7)*, +APPRAISE +11(7), +BLUFF +13(7), +DISABLE DEVICE* +6(1), +ESCAPE ARTIST +12(7)*, +INTIMIDATE +6(3), +KNOWLEDGE LOCAL +6(2), +PERCEPTION +12(6), +PERFORM(ILL BEATS AND SICK FIRES) +10(7), +SLEIGHT OF HAND +9(4)*, +STEALTH +12(7)*, +USE MAGIC DEVICE +10(7)

UNTRAINED  
+CLIMB +2*, +CRAFT +1, +DIPLOMACY +2, +DISGUISE +0, HEAL +1, PERFORM +0, RIDE +2*, +SENSE MOTIVE +1, SURVIVAL +1, +SWIM +2*  
(FLY +2*)

*Armour Check Penalty: Skill at –1 due to armour worn.  
+Class Skill

FEATS  
[ SKILL FOCUS (BLUFF)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_skill-focus)  
The character is particularly adept at the chosen skill.

[DISPOSABLE WEAPON [REQUIRES: BAB+1, WEAPON PROFICIENCY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/ultimateCombatFeats.html#_disposable-weapon)   
The character ignores the limitations of his equipment, striking harder despite the damage it does to his weapon.

[QUICK DRAW [REQUIRES: BAB+1]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_quick-draw)   
The character can draw weapons faster than most.

[COMBAT EXPERTISE [REQUIRES: INT 13]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#combat-expertise)   
The character can choose to take a penalty on melee attack rolls and combat maneuver checks to gain a dodge bonus to his Armor Class.

[RACIAL ABILITIES: AASIMAR](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advancedRaceGuide/featuredRaces/aasimars.html#_aasimar-racial-traits)  
AASIMARS DO NOT COUNT AS OUTSIDERS FOR THE PURPOSE OF THIS SETTING.  
[DAYLIGHT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/daylight.html#_daylight) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Aasimars can touch an object and cause it to shed a brilliant light which drives back even magical darkness.  
LANGUAGES – Aasimars begin play speaking Common and Celestial. Aasimars with high Intelligence scores can choose any of the following bonus languages: Draconic, Dwarven, High Elven, Gnome, Halfling, and Sylvan.

SPECIAL ABILITIES  
GODMARKED  
WEAPON PROFICIENCY (BASTARD SWORD)  
[INSPIRING COMMAND](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/cleric.html#_inspiring-command) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] – The character can issue an inspiring command to his allies, improving their accuracy, defence, and focus for a short time.  
[DEATHWATCH](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/deathwatch.html#_deathwatch) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (3 USES/DAY) - The character can determine the condition of creatures near death within the spell's range.  
[ONE TRACK MIND](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/3rd-party-spells/purple-duck-games/one-track-mind) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (2 USES/DAY) - The target repeats their last action over and over again.  
[DELAYED REACTION](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/3rd-party-spells/4-winds-fantasy-gaming---3rd-party-spells/delayed-reaction) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – The target is unable to react to things going on around them, delaying their action until after the character's next turn.

CLASS FEATURES  
WEAPON AND ARMOUR PROFICIENCY: ROGUE  
Rogues are proficient with all simple weapons, plus the hand crossbow, rapier, sap, shortbow, and short sword. They are proficient with light armour, but not with shields.

[MARTIAL TRAINING [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY] (Longsword)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/rogue.html#_martial-training)  
At first level, the swashbuckler may select one martial weapon to add to his list of weapon proficiencies. In addition, he may take the combat trick rogue talent up to two times. 

[SNEAK ATTACK [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY] (+4d6 Precision Damage)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/rogue.html#_sneak-attack)  
A rogue can strike a vital spot for more damage whenever their foe is in a vulnerable position.

[EVASION](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/rogue.html#_evasion-rogue) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
At 2nd level and higher, the rogue can avoid even magical and unusual attacks with great agility.

[DARING [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/rogue.html#_daring)   
At 3rd level, the swashbuckler becomes more nimble and resistant to fear.

[UNCANNY DODGE [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/rogue.html#_uncanny-dodge-rogue)   
At 4th level, the rogue can react to danger before his senses would normally allow him to do so.

ROGUE TALENTS  
[BLEEDING ATTACK](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/rogue.html#_rogue-talents-bleeding-attack) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
A rogue with this ability can cause living opponents to bleed by hitting them with a sneak attack.  
[POWERFUL SNEAK](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/rogue.html#_powerful-sneak**) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
A rogue with this ability can take a penalty to attack to treat all 1s on sneak attack damage dice as 2s.  
[POSITIONING ATTACK](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/rogue.html#_positioning-attack) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
Once per day, when a rogue with this talent hits a creature with a melee attack, he can move around the creature hit without provoking attacks of opportunity.

* * *

JADE HARLEY [DRUID](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/druid.html#_druid) ([WOLF SHAMAN](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/druid.html#_wolf-shaman)) 7  
NEUTRAL GOOD

TL:DR - Jade's Godmark now permits her to fly, and she can cast spells when in nonhuman form. She has fourth-level spellcasting. Bec has grown larger and more dangerous.

[ ](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/n8m84d8ync11huv/Jade%20Harley.png?dl=0)

BASIC STATISTICS  
GENDER: Female  
HAIR/EYES: Black hair, green eyes  
HOMELAND: The Greenweald Forest Region (The Whispering Grove)  
DEITY: The Witch of Space  
LANGUAGES: Common, High Elven, Sylvan, Druidic  
RACE: Tuatha (High Elf)

ATTRIBUTES  
STRENGTH: 8[-1]  
DEXTERITY: 15[+2]  
CONSTITUTION: 12[+1]  
INTELLIGENCE: 12[+1]  
WISDOM: 16[+3]  
CHARISMA: 12[+1]

HIT POINTS: 45/45  
HERO POINTS: 3/3  
INITIATIVE: +4  
BASE SPEED/S: 30ft (land)

ARMOUR CLASS [AC]: 18  
TOUCH AC: 12  
FLAT-FOOTED AC: 16

BASE ATTACK BONUS [BAB]: +5  
BASIC MELEE ATTACK: +4  
BASIC RANGED ATTACK: +7  
COMBAT MANEUVER BONUS [CMB]: +4  
COMBAT MANEUVER DEFENCE [CMD]: 16

SAVES  
FORTITUDE: +6  
REFLEX: +4  
WILL: +7  
+4 to all Saving Throws against the spell-like and supernatural abilities of Fey.

[WEAPONS/ATTACKS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_weapon-descriptions)  
[MASTERWORK MUSKET](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/combat/firearms.html#_musket) AND [FAR-REACHING SIGHT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/combat/firearms.html#_far-reaching-sight) \- Ammunition 29 bullets, 29 black powder charges (both required to fire).  
[SLING](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_sling) – Less damage from improvised ammunition.  
[DAGGER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_dagger) \- Can be thrown, range 10ft.

EQUIPMENT - [CARRYING CAPACITY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/additionalRules.html#_carrying-capacity) (STR 16)

EQUIPMENT - ITEM SLOTS  
CLOTHING: TRAVELLER'S OUTFIT  
This set of clothes consists of boots, a wool skirt, a sturdy belt, a shirt with a vest, and an ample cloak with a hood.

ARMOUR: +3 [WOODEN ARMOUR](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/advancedGear.html#_wooden-armor)  
+6 armour bonus, +3 max DEX bonus, -0 Armour Check Penalty, 15% Arcane Spell Failure Chance, LIGHT  
SPECIAL: This suit of leather armour has plates of fire-treated wood sewn over vital areas. Though not as effective as metal armour, it offers better protection than leather alone. Unlike metal armour, the wood is slightly buoyant, and the armour check penalty for swimming in this armour is 0.

SHOULDERS: [MULEBACK CORDS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/magicItems/wondrousItems.html#_muleback-cords)  
These thick leather cords wrap around the wearer's biceps and shoulders; when worn, they make the muscles appear larger than normal and allow her to carry far more than usual.

EQUIPMENT - POSSESSIONS  
Masterwork Musket 9lb, Far-Reaching Sight 1lb, Sling, +3 Wooden Armour 25lbs, Muleback Cords 0.25lbs, Dagger 1lb, Waterskin 4lbs

>[BAG OF HOLDING, TYPE 1](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/magicItems/wondrousItems.html#_bag-of-holding) 15lbs (Capacity 250lbs)  
Tent (Small, 1 person) 20lbs, Bedroll 5lbs, Sling Bullets [x20] 10lbs

>POUCH, BELT 0.5lbs (Capacity 10lbs)  
Flint and Steel, Holly and Mistletoe, Fishhook, Whistle (Silent)

>POUCH, BELT 0.5lbs (Capacity 10lbs)  
Firearm Bullets [x30] 0.5lbs, Potion of Cure Moderate Wounds [x5]

>POWDER HORN 1lb (Capacity 10 x Black Powder)  
Black Powder [x9] [crafted at 10% cost]

>POWDER HORN 1lb (Capacity 10 x Black Powder)  
Black Powder [x10] [crafted at 10% cost]

>POWDER HORN 1lb (Capacity 10 x Black Powder)  
Black Powder [x10] [crafted at 10% cost]

TOTAL 34.75lbs (19.75lbs without portable hole)

EQUIPMENT - MONEY  
0CP, 7SP, 545GP, 0PP  
OTHER:

SKILLS  
TRAINED  
+HEAL +8(1), +HANDLE ANIMAL +11(7), KNOWLEDGE (DUNGEONEERING) +5(4), +KNOWLEDGE(GEOGRAPHY) +9(5), +KNOWLEDGE(NATURE) +13(7), +PERCEPTION +10(3), +SPELLCRAFT +11(7), +SURVIVAL +16(5)

UNTRAINED  
ACROBATICS +2*, APPRAISE +1, BLUFF +1, +CLIMB -1*, +CRAFT +1, DIPLOMACY +1, DISGUISE +1, ESCAPE ARTIST +2*, INTIMIDATE +1, PERFORM +1, +RIDE +2*, SENSE MOTIVE +2, STEALTH +2*, SWIM -1*  
(+FLY +2*)

*Armour Check Penalty: Skill at –0 due to armour worn.  
+Class Skill

FEATS  
[SELF-SUFFICIENT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_self-sufficient)  
The character knows how to get along in the wild and how to effectively treat wounds.

[DEADLY AIM [REQUIRES: DEX 13, BAB +1]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_deadly-aim)   
The character can make exceptionally deadly ranged attacks by pinpointing a foe's weak spot, at the expense of making the attack less likely to succeed.

[ASPECT OF THE BEAST [REQUIRES: WILD SHAPE CLASS FEATURE]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/advancedFeats.html#_aspect-of-the-beast)   
The character has a keen sense of when trouble is brewing, and an animalistic instinct for survival.

[NATURAL SPELL [REQUIRES: WIS 13, WILD SHAPE CLASS FEATURE]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#natural-spell)   
The character can cast spells even while in a form that cannot normally cast spells.

[RACIAL ABILITIES: ELVEN](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advancedRaceGuide/coreRaces/elves.html#_elf-racial-traits)  
LANGUAGES - Tuatha begin play speaking Common and High Elven. Tuatha with high Intelligence scores can choose from the following: Celestial, Draconic, Gnoll, Gnome, Goblin, Orc, and Sylvan.

SPECIAL ABILITIES  
GODMARKED  
WEAPON PROFICIENCY (MUSKET)  
[DIVINE VESSEL](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/cleric.html#_divine-vessel) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (4 USES/DAY) – The character can, whenever divine magic is cast on her, grant her nearby allies a boon on one of their next actions.  
[LONGSTRIDER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/longstrider.html#_longstrider) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (3 USES/DAY) - This power gives the character a +10 foot enhancement bonus to her base speed.  
[LOCATE OBJECT ](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/locateObject.html#_locate-object) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (2 USES/DAY) - The character senses the direction towards an object (specific or type).  
[FLY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/fly.html#fog-cloud) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – The character can fly.

CLASS FEATURES  
WEAPON AND ARMOUR PROFICIENCY: DRUID  
Druids are proficient with the following weapons: club, dagger, dart, quarterstaff, scimitar, scythe, sickle, shortspear, sling, and spear. They are also proficient with all natural attacks (claw, bite, and so forth) of any form they assume with wild shape.  
Druids are proficient with light and medium armour but are prohibited from wearing metal armour. Druids are proficient with shields (except tower shields) but must use only wooden ones. A druid who wears prohibited armour or uses a prohibited shield is unable to cast druid spells or use any supernatural or spell-like class abilities while doing so, and for 24 hours thereafter.

[SPONTANEOUS CASTING](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/druid.html#_spontaneous-casting-druid)  
A druid can channel stored spell energy to summon a creature to aid her.

[NATURE BOND [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/druid.html#wolf-shaman): ANIMAL COMPANION (BEC, [WOLF](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/monsters/wolf.html#_wolf))  
HIT POINTS: 57/57  
SIZE: Large SPEED: 50ft  
STR 23[+6], DEX 15[+2], CON 20[+5], INT 2[-4], WIS 12[+1], CHA 6[-2]  
ATTACK:  
BAB: +4 ATTACK: BITE +10 (1d8+2), trip  
CMB: +10  
DEFENCE:  
AC: 20 (Natural Armour +7)  
CMD: 22  
SAVES: FORT 10, REF 7, WILL 3  
SKILLS:  
Survival 2, Perception 5, Intimidate 1  
FEATS:  
[Improved Natural Armour](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/additionalMonsters/monsterFeats.html#improved-natural-armor), [Dodge](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_dodge), [Mobility](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_mobility)  
TRICKS:  
Down – The animal breaks off from combat or otherwise backs down.  
Guard – The animal stays in place and prevents others from approaching.  
SPECIAL ABILITIES:  
[Low-Light Vision](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/glossary.html#_low-light-vision), [Scent](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/glossary.html#_scent), [Link](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/druid.html#_companions-link), [Share Spells](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/druid.html#_companions-share-spells), [Evasion](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/druid.html#_companions-evasion),[Devotion](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/druid.html#_companions-devotion)

NATURE SENSE [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
A druid is more knowledgeable about nature and better able to survive in the wilderness.

WILD EMPATHY [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
A druid can communicate wordlessly with an animal, in the hope of making it more friendly towards the druid and her allies. A wolf shaman is particularly good at communicating with canines.

[WOODLAND STRIDE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/druid.html#_woodland-stride-druid) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
Starting at 2nd level, the druid may move through any sort of undergrowth (such as natural thorns, briars, overgrown areas, and similar terrain) at her normal speed.

[TOTEM TRANSFORMATION](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/druid.html#_wolf-shaman) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (5 MINUTES/DAY, STANDARD ACTION)  
At 2nd level, the wolf shaman may adopt an aspect of the wolf while retaining her normal form. She gains one of the following bonuses:  
>MOVEMENT (+20 enhancement bonus to land speed)  
>SENSES (low-light vision, +4 racial bonus to Survival when tracking by scent)  
>NATURAL WEAPONS (bite [1d4 plus trip], +2 CMB to trip)  
While using totem transformation, the wolf shaman may speak normally and can cast speak with animals (canines only) at will.

[TRACKLESS STEP [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/druid.html#_trackless-step)   
At 3rd level, the druid no longer leaves a trail in natural surroundings and cannot be tracked unless she chooses to be.

[RESIST NATURE'S LURE [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/druid.html#_resist-nature-s-lure)   
Starting at 4th level, a druid becomes more resistant to the magical abilities of fey.

[WILD SHAPE [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/druid.html#_wild-shape)   
At 4th level, a druid gains the ability to turn herself into any small or Medium animal and back again once per day, like the [beast shape I spell](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/beastShape.html#_beast-shape-i). At 6th level, a wolf shaman’s wild shape ability functions at her druid level -2. If she takes on the form of a canine, she instead uses her druid level + 2. At 8th level, a druid can use wild shape to change into a Huge or Diminutive animal, a Medium elemental, or a Small or Medium plant creature. When taking the form of animals, a druid's wild shape now functions as [beast shape III](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/beastShape.html#_beast-shape-iii). The effect lasts for 1 hour per druid level, or until she changes back.

[TOTEMIC SUMMONS [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/druid.html#_totemic-summons)   
At 5th level, the wolf shaman may cast summon nature’s ally more swiftly when summoning canines, and these summoned canines are tougher proportional to her druid level.

SPELLS  
[DRUID LEVEL 0](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/spell-lists-and-domains/spell-lists---druid#p0) [4 Prepared, At Will] Save DC 13  
+KNOW DIRECTION – You discern north.  
+MENDING – Makes minor repairs on an object.  
+SPARK – Ignites flammable objects. +STABILIZE – Cause a dying creature to stabilize.

[DRUID LEVEL 1](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/spell-lists-and-domains/spell-lists---druid#p1) [5/Day Prepared] Save DC 14  
+++CURE LIGHT WOUNDS – Cures 1d8 damage +1/level (max +5).  
++ENTANGLE - Plants entangle everyone in 40-ft. radius.

[DRUID LEVEL 2](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/spell-lists-and-domains/spell-lists---druid#p2) [4/Day Prepared] Save DC 15  
++FOREST FRIEND - Plants in a forested area become helpful instead of hindering you and your allies.  
++WILDERNESS SOLDIERS – Nearby plants aid you in combat.

[DRUID LEVEL 3](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/spell-lists-and-domains/spell-lists---druid#TOC-3rd-Level-Druid-Spells) [3/Day Prepared] Save DC 16  
++CURE MODERATE WOUNDS - Cures 2d8 damage +1/level (max +10).  
+RAIN OF FROGS – Summon a swarm of poisonous frogs.

[DRUID LEVEL 4](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/spell-lists-and-domains/spell-lists---druid#p4) [1/Day Prepared] Save DC 17  
+CURE SERIOUS WOUNDS - Cures 3d8 damage + 1/level (max +15).

* * *

KARKAT VANTAS [FIGHTER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/fighter.html#_fighter) ([MOBILE FIGHTER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/fighter.html#_mobile-fighter)) 7  
TRUE NEUTRAL

TL:DR - Karkat has become more mobile in combat, and in heavier armour. His Godmark now permits him to ward an area or object to injure intruders.

[ ](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/uyfpjnavu74a446/Karkat%20Vantas.png?dl=0)

BASIC STATISTICS  
GENDER: Male  
HAIR/EYES: White hair, red eyes  
HOMELAND: City of Golgesi (The Shanties)  
DEITY: The Knight of Blood  
LANGUAGES: Undercommon, High Elven, Drow Sign Language  
RACE: Drow (Dark Elf)

ATTRIBUTES  
STRENGTH: 14[+2]  
DEXTERITY: 17[+3]  
CONSTITUTION: 11[+0]  
INTELLIGENCE: 13[+1]  
WISDOM: 8[-1]  
CHARISMA: 12[+1]

HIT POINTS: 46/46  
HERO POINTS: 4/5  
INITIATIVE: +3  
BASE SPEED/S: 30ft (land)

ARMOUR CLASS [AC]: 19  
TOUCH AC: 14  
FLAT-FOOTED AC: 15

BASE ATTACK BONUS [BAB]: +7/+2  
BASIC MELEE ATTACK: +9/+4  
BASIC RANGED ATTACK: +10/+5  
COMBAT MANEUVER BONUS [CMB]: +9/+4(+11/+6 for Tripping)  
COMBAT MANEUVER DEFENCE [CMD]: 22(24 for Tripping)

SAVES  
FORTITUDE: +4  
REFLEX: +4  
WILL: +0  
+2 vs effects that cause paralysis, slowing, or entanglement

[WEAPONS/ATTACKS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_weapon-descriptions)  
**_+1 ATTACK AND DAMAGE WHEN AT LEAST 5 FEET MOVED PRIOR TO ATTACKING._**  
[DUAL +1 SICKLES](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_sickle) – Two attacks a round at a reduced attack bonus, or one attack a round at normal attack bonus. This is a [trip](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/equipment.html#_trip) weapon.  
[DAGGER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_dagger) \- Can be thrown, range 10ft.

EQUIPMENT - [CARRYING CAPACITY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/additionalRules.html#_carrying-capacity) (STR 15)

EQUIPMENT - ITEM SLOTS  
CLOTHING: TRAVELLER'S OUTFIT  
This set of clothes consists of boots, a wool skirt or breeches, a sturdy belt, a shirt (perhaps with a vest or jacket), and an ample coat with a hood.

ARMOUR: +1 MITHRAL CHAIN SHIRT  
+5 armour bonus, +8 max DEX bonus, -0 Armour Check Penalty, 10% Arcane Spell Failure Chance, LIGHT  
SPECIAL: An item made from mithral weighs half as much as the same item made from other metals.

EQUIPMENT - POSSESSIONS  
Sickle [x2] 4lbs, +1 Mithral Chain Shirt 12.5lbs, Dagger 1lb, Waterskin 4lbs

>BACKPACK, MASTERWORK 4lbs (Capacity 60lbs, +1 STR to carry loads)  
Bedroll 5lbs, Blanket (Common) 1lb, Rations (Trail) [x16] 16lb, Compass 0.5lbs, Karkat's Tattered Journal 3lbs, Spider's Silk Rope 50ft 4lbs

>POUCH, BELT 0.5lbs (Capacity 10lbs)  
Flint and Steel, Charcoal Stick [x1], Whetstone 1lb, Potion of Remove Curse [x1], Potion of Cure Light Wounds [x1], Potion of Cure Moderate Wounds [x5], Impact Foam [x1] 1lb

TOTAL 44lbs (9.5lbs without backpack)

EQUIPMENT - MONEY  
0CP, 0SP, 500GP, 0PP  
OTHER:

SKILLS  
TRAINED  
ACROBATICS +7(4)*, +CLIMB +7(2)*, DIPLOMACY +4 (3), +INTIMIDATE +7(3), KNOWLEDGE(LOCAL) +3(3), PERCEPTION +5(4), SENSE MOTIVE +5(6)

UNTRAINED  
APPRAISE +0, BLUFF +1, +CRAFT +0, DISGUISE +1, ESCAPE ARTIST +3*, HEAL -1, PERFORM +1, +RIDE +3*, STEALTH +3*, +SURVIVAL -1, +SWIM +2*  
(FLY +3*)

*Armour Check Penalty: Skill at –0 due to armour worn.  
+Class Skill

FEATS  
[COMBAT REFLEXES](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_combat-reflexes)  
The character can make additional attacks of opportunity.

[DODGE [REQUIRES: DEX 13]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_dodge)   
The character's training and reflexes allow him to react swiftly to avoid an opponents' attacks.

[IMPROVED TRIP [REQUIRES: INT 13, COMBAT EXPERTISE]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_improved-trip)   
The character is good at sending his opponents to the ground.

[MOBILITY [REQUIRES: DEX 13, DODGE]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#mobility)   
The character can easily move through a dangerous melee.

[RACIAL ABILITIES: DROW](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advancedRaceGuide/featuredRaces/drow.html#_drow-racial-traits)  
[DANCING LIGHTS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/dancingLights.html#_dancing-lights) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Drow can create up to four illusory lights and direct their motion.  
[DARKNESS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/darkness.html#_darkness) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Drow can touch an object and cause it to radiate a deep darkness that dims even magical light.  
[FAERIE FIRE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/faerieFire.html#_faerie-fire) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Drow can cause a person to glow with a pale fire that clings to them even if they are not otherwise visible.  
LANGUAGES - Drow begin play speaking Undercommon and High Elven. Drow with high Intelligence can choose bonus languages from the following: Common, Dark Folk, Draconic, Drow Sign Language, Dwarven, Gnome, Goblin or Infernal.

SPECIAL ABILITIES  
GODMARKED  
[HERO’S FORTUNE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/advancedNewRules.html#_hero's-fortune) \- Even at the start of his career, it was clear that the character had a chance at greatness, and his legend continues to grow with every adventure.  
[INSPIRING COMMAND](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/cleric.html#_inspiring-command) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] – The character can issue an inspiring command to his allies, improving their accuracy, defence, and focus for a short time.  
[ALARM](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/alarm.html#_alarm) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (3 USES/DAY) - Alarm creates a subtle ward on a selected area.  
[SHIELD OTHER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/shieldOther.html#_shield-other) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (2 USES/DAY) - The character takes half the damage dealt to their target.  
[GLYPH OF WARDING](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/glyphOfWarding.html#glyph-of-warding) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – An inscription to ward an area or object against intruders.

CLASS FEATURES  
WEAPON AND ARMOUR PROFICIENCY: FIGHTER  
A fighter is proficient with all simple and martial weapons and with all armour (heavy, light, and medium) and shields (including tower shields).

FEAT: [TWO-WEAPON FIGHTING [REQUIRES: DEX 15]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_two-weapon-fighting)  
The fighter can fight with a weapon wielded in each of his hands. He can make one extra attack each round with the secondary weapon.

FEAT: [WEAPON FOCUS (SICKLE) [REQUIRES: WEAPON PROFICIENCY, BAB +1]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_weapon-focus)  
The fighter gains a bonus on all attack rolls he makes using the selected weapon.

FEAT: [COMBAT EXPERTISE [REQUIRES: INT 13]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_combat-expertise)  
The fighter can increase his defence at the expense of his accuracy.

[AGILITY (+2)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/fighter.html#_agility) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
At 2nd level, the mobile fighter gains a bonus on saving throws made against effects that cause him to become paralysed, slowed, or entangled.

[ARMOUR TRAINING 2 [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/fighter.html#_armor-training)   
At 3rd level, the fighter learns to be more manoeuvrable in armour and is less encumbered by heavier armour.

[LEAPING ATTACK [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/fighter.html#_armor-training)   
At 5th level, the mobile fighter becomes more dangerous when they keep moving in combat. At 7th level, a fighter can move at his normal speed while wearing heavy armor.

FEAT: [DOUBLE SLICE [REQUIRES: DEX 15, TWO-WEAPON FIGHTING]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_double-slice)  
The fighter's off-hand weapon while dual-wielding strikes with greater power.

* * *

GAMZEE MAKARA [BARBARIAN](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/barbarian.html#_barbarian) 7  
CHAOTIC NEUTRAL

TL:DR - Gamzee can now make a single, deadly attack rather than multiple lesser ones if he choses. He shrugs off a small amount of damage every time he's hit, and his Godmark can make others Rage like he does.

[ ](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/byz32hnlvct9z55/Gamzee%20Makara.png?dl=0)

BASIC STATISTICS  
GENDER: Male  
HAIR/EYES: White hair, purple eyes  
HOMELAND: City of Golgesi (House Kutsanmis Enclave)  
DEITY: The Bard of Rage  
LANGUAGES: Undercommon, High Elven  
RACE: Drow (Dark Elf)

ATTRIBUTES  
STRENGTH: 14[+2] (18[+4])  
DEXTERITY: 15[+2]  
CONSTITUTION: 14[+2] (18[+4])  
INTELLIGENCE: 8[-1]  
WISDOM: 12[+1]  
CHARISMA: 12[+1]

HIT POINTS: 67(81)/67(81)  
HERO POINTS: 3/3  
INITIATIVE: +2  
BASE SPEED/S: 40ft (land)

ARMOUR CLASS [AC]: 18(16) [+1 VS TRAPS]  
TOUCH AC: 12(10)  
FLAT-FOOTED AC: 16(14)  
DAMAGE REDUCTION: 1/-  
WHILE RAGING: +1 deflection bonus to AC against the attacks of lawful creatures.

BASE ATTACK BONUS [BAB]: +7/+2  
BASIC MELEE ATTACK: +9/+4 (+11/+6)  
BASIC RANGED ATTACK: +9/+4  
COMBAT MANEUVER BONUS [CMB]: +9/+4 (+11/+6)  
COMBAT MANEUVER DEFENCE [CMD]: 21(23)

SAVES  
FORTITUDE: +7(8)  
REFLEX: +4 [+1 VS TRAPS]  
WILL: +5(7)  
+2 bonus on Reflex saves made to avoid traps and a +2 dodge bonus to Armor Class against attacks made by traps.  
WHILE RAGING: +1 resistance bonus on saving throws against confusion, insanity, polymorph, and effects with the lawful descriptor.

[WEAPONS/ATTACKS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_weapon-descriptions)  
[WARHAMMER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_warhammer)  
[IMPROVISED WEAPONS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/equipment.html#_improvised-weapons) – Attack as per basic ranged or melee attack, and damage as per closest match on the weapon list. There is a +1 circumstance bonus to attack rolls for improvised splash weapons.

EQUIPMENT - [CARRYING CAPACITY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/additionalRules.html#_carrying-capacity) (STR 14/18)

EQUIPMENT - ITEM SLOTS  
CLOTHING: TRAVELLER'S OUTFIT  
This set of clothes consists of boots, wool breeches, a sturdy belt, a shirt (perhaps with a vest or jacket), and an ample coat with a hood.

ARMOUR: +3 STUDDED LEATHER ARMOUR  
+6 armour bonus, +5 max DEX bonus, -0 Armour Check Penalty, 15% Arcane Spell Failure Chance, LIGHT

EQUIPMENT - POSSESSIONS  
+3 Studded Leather Armour 20lbs, Warhammer 5lbs, Waterskin 4lbs

>[HANDY HAVERSACK](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/magicItems/wondrousItems.html#_handy-haversack) 5lbs (Extradimensional Space, Capacity 80lbs+20lbs+20lbs)  
Tent (Pavilion, 10 people) 50lbs, Rations (Trail) [x20] 20lb  
Bedroll 5lbs, Blanket (Common) 1lb  
Kit (Cooking) 2lbs, Kit (Mess) 1lb, Kit (Gear Maintenance) 2lbs, Kit (Grooming) 2lbs, Kit (Entertainer’s) 3lbs, Meditation Tea [x3]

>POUCH, BELT 0.5lbs (Capacity 10lbs)  
Potion of Cure Light Wounds [x4], Flint and Steel, [Waterproof War Paint Kit](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic-items/3rd-party-magic-items/3rd-party-wondrous-items/4-winds-fantasy-gaming/waterproof-war-paint-kit) 1lb [10 uses] 

TOTAL 15.5lbs (70lbs+6lbs+10lbs in EDS) 

EQUIPMENT - MONEY  
0CP, 8SP, 501GP, 0PP  
OTHER:  


SKILLS  
TRAINED  
+ACROBATICS +8(3)*, BLUFF +4(3), +CRAFT(COOKING) +3(1), +INTIMIDATE +11(7), PERFORM(CHILL RHYMES) +4(3), STEALTH +9(7)*

UNTRAINED  
APPRAISE -1, +CLIMB +2*, +CRAFT +0, DIPLOMACY +1, DISGUISE +1, ESCAPE ARTIST +2*, HEAL +1, +PERCEPTION +1, PERFORM +1, +RIDE +2*, SENSE MOTIVE +1, STEALTH +2*, +SURVIVAL +1, +SWIM +2*  
(FLY +2*)

*Armour Check Penalty: Skill at –0 due to armour worn  
+Class Skill

FEATS  
[THROW ANYTHING](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_throw-anything)  
The character is used to throwing things he has on hand.

[POWER ATTACK [REQUIRES: STR 13, BAB+1]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_power-attack)   
The character can make exceptionally deadly melee attacks by sacrificing accuracy for strength.

[CORNUGON SMASH [REQUIRES: POWER ATTACK, INTIMIDATE 6 RANKS]](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/feats/combat-feats/cornugon-smash-combat)   
Taken at level 5, unlocked at level 6. When the character damages an opponent with a Power Attack, he may make an immediate Intimidate check as a free action to attempt to demoralize his opponent.

[VITAL STRIKE [REQUIRES: BAB +6]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#vital-strike)   
The character makes a single attack that deals significantly more damage than normal.

[RACIAL ABILITIES: DROW](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advancedRaceGuide/featuredRaces/drow.html#_drow-racial-traits)  
[DANCING LIGHTS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/dancingLights.html#_dancing-lights) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Drow can create up to four illusory lights and direct their motion.  
[DARKNESS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/darkness.html#_darkness) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Drow can touch an object and cause it to radiate a deep darkness that dims even magical light.  
[FAERIE FIRE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/faerieFire.html#_faerie-fire) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Drow can cause a person to glow with a pale fire that clings to them even if they are not otherwise visible.  
LANGUAGES - Drow begin play speaking Undercommon and High Elven. Drow with high Intelligence can choose bonus languages from the following: Common, Dark Folk, Draconic, Drow Sign Language, Dwarven, Gnome, Goblin or Infernal.

SPECIAL ABILITIES  
GODMARKED  
CATCH OFF-GUARD: Foes are surprised by the character’s skilled use of unorthodox and improvised weapons.  
[DESTRUCTIVE SMITE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/cleric.html#_destruction-domain) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (4 USES/DAY)– The character can do more damage on a single melee attack, dependent on his character level.  
[ENLARGE PERSON](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/enlargePerson.html#_enlarge-person) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (3 USES/DAY) - This power causes instant growth of a humanoid creature, doubling its height and multiplying its weight by 8.  
[BULL'S STRENGTH](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/bullSStrength.html#_bull-s-strength) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (2 USES/DAY) - The character gains +4 Strength for 1 minute/level.  
[RAGE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/rage.html#rage) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Causes target(s) to rage in a similar manner to a barbarian.

CLASS FEATURES  
WEAPON AND ARMOUR PROFICIENCY: BARBARIAN  
A barbarian is proficient with all simple and martial weapons, light armour, medium armour and shields (except tower shields).

FAST MOVEMENT [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
A barbarian can move faster than other members of his race, so long as he is not heavily burdened.

[RAGE](paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/barbarian.html#_rage) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY] (18 ROUNDS/DAY)  
A barbarian can call on inner reserves of strength and ferocity, granting him additional combat prowess for a while but exhausting him when spent.

RAGE POWERS  
[INTIMIDATING GLARE [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/barbarian.html#_rage-powers-intimidating-glare)  
While raging, the barbarian can make an Intimidate check against one adjacent foe and attempt to leave them shaken.  
[NO ESCAPE [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/barbarian.html#_rage-powers-no-escape)  
Once per rage, the barbarian can move up to double his normal speed as an immediate action but he can only use this ability when an adjacent foe uses a withdraw action to move away from him.  
[LESSER CHAOS TOTEM [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/barbarian.html#_chaos-totem,-lesser)  
While raging, the barbarian gains a +1 deflection bonus to AC against the attacks of lawful creatures and a +1 resistance bonus on saving throws against confusion, insanity, polymorph, and effects with the lawful descriptor.

[UNCANNY DODGE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/barbarian.html#_uncanny-dodge-barbarian) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
At 2nd level, the barbarian gains the ability to react to danger before his senses would normally allow him to do so.

[TRAP SENSE (+2) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/barbarian.html#_trap-sense-barbarian)   
At 3rd level, the barbarian becomes adept at avoiding traps.

[IMPROVED UNCANNY DODGE [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/barbarian.html#_improved-uncanny-dodge-barbarian)   
At 5th level, the barbarian can no longer be flanked or sneak attacked except by a truly skillful rogue.

[DAMAGE REDUCTION [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/barbarian.html#damage-reduction-barbarian)   
At 7th level, a barbarian gains damage reduction. Subtract 1 from the damage the barbarian takes each time he is dealt damage from a weapon or a natural attack. Damage reduction can reduce damage to 0 but not below 0.

* * *

TEREZI PYROPE [INQUISITOR](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/baseClasses/inquisitor.html) 7  
LAWFUL NEUTRAL

TL:DR - Terezi is now better at singling out foes to attack and damage, and her Godmark lets her dispel magic.

[ ](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/tkkwrfiwb5efh6r/Terezi%20Pyrope.png?dl=0)

BASIC STATISTICS  
GENDER: Female  
HAIR/EYES: White hair, teal eyes  
HOMELAND: City of Golgesi (Temple Spire)  
DEITY: The Seer of Mind  
LANGUAGES: Undercommon, High Elven, Infernal  
RACE: Drow (Dark Elf)

ATTRIBUTES  
STRENGTH: 10[+0]  
DEXTERITY: 15[+2]  
CONSTITUTION: 12[+1]  
INTELLIGENCE: 12[+1]  
WISDOM: 16[+3]  
CHARISMA: 10[+0]

HIT POINTS: 47/47  
HERO POINTS: 5/5  
INITIATIVE: +5  
BASE SPEED/S: 30ft (land)

ARMOUR CLASS [AC]: 19  
TOUCH AC: 12  
FLAT-FOOTED AC: 17

BASE ATTACK BONUS [BAB]: +5  
BASIC MELEE ATTACK: +5  
BASIC RANGED ATTACK: +7  
COMBAT MANEUVER BONUS [CMB]: +5  
COMBAT MANEUVER DEFENCE [CMD]: 17

SAVES  
FORTITUDE: +6  
REFLEX: +4  
WILL: +8

[WEAPONS/ATTACKS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_weapon-descriptions)  
**_+2 TO ATTACK AND +2D6 DAMAGE WHEN USING THE BANE ABILITY._**  
INCORRUPTIBLE (+1 [IMPERVIOUS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/magicArmsAndArmor/weaponSpecialAbilities.html#_impervious)[SILVERSHEEN](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/equipment---final/special-materials#TOC-Silversheen) [SWORD CANE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/advancedGear.html#_sword-cane)) - A more accurate but less damaging weapon, warded from damage and decay.  
[SWORD CANE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/advancedGear.html#_sword-cane) \- The blade is well-concealed in the cane.  
[CROSSBOW, LIGHT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_light-crossbow) – 20 ammunition  
[DAGGER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_dagger) \- Can be thrown, range 10ft.

EQUIPMENT - [CARRYING CAPACITY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/additionalRules.html#_carrying-capacity) (STR 10)

EQUIPMENT - ITEM SLOTS  
CLOTHING: EXPLORER'S OUTFIT  
This set of clothes is for someone who never knows what to expect. It includes sturdy boots, leather breeches, a belt, a shirt, gloves and a cloak. The clothes have plenty of pockets (especially the cloak). The outfit also includes any extra accessories the character might need, such as a scarf or a wide-brimmed hat.

ARMOUR: +2 [BLUE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/monsters/dragon.html#_chromatic-dragon-blue) [DRAGONHIDE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/materials.html#_dragonhide) SCALE ARMOUR (ARMOURED COAT OVER THE TOP HAS NO EFFECT)  
+7 armour bonus, +3 max DEX bonus, -3 Armour Check Penalty, 25% Arcane Spell Failure Chance, MEDIUM  
SPECIAL: Armorsmiths can work with the hides of dragons to produce armour or shields of masterwork quality.

EQUIPMENT - POSSESSIONS  
Incorruptible (+1 Impervious Silversheen Sword Cane) 4lbs, Crossbow (Light) 4lbs, Bolts (Crossbow) [x40] 4lb, +2 Blue Dragonhide Scale Armor 30lbs, Armoured Coat 20lbs, Eyeglasses, Holy Symbol (Copper) 0.5lb, Dagger 1lb, Waterskin 4lbs

>HANDY HAVERSACK 5lbs (Extradimensional Space, Capacity 80lbs+20lbs+20lbs)  
Bedroll 5lb, Blanket (Common) 1lb, Rope (Hemp) [50ft] 10lbs, Sword Cane 4lbs, Manacles 2lbs

>POUCH, BELT 0.5lbs (Capacity 10lbs)  
Flint and Steel, Whetstone 1lb, Bandages of Rapid Recovery 1lb, Potion of Cure Light Wounds [x1], Wound Paste [x3] 0.5lbs, Charcoal Stick [x1], Page of Karkat's Journal, Potion of Cure Moderate Wounds [x5]

TOTAL 33lbs (16lbs+0lbs+0lbs in EDS)

EQUIPMENT - MONEY  
8CP, 9SP, 503GP, 0PP  
OTHER:

SKILLS  
TRAINED  
+BLUFF +10(7), +DIPLOMACY +10(7), +INTIMIDATE +12(7), +KNOWLEDGE DUNGEONEERING +9(5), +KNOWLEDGE LOCAL +8(4), +KNOWLEDGE RELIGION +9(5), +PERCEPTION +13(7), +PROFESSION(GOLGESI LAWKEEPER) +8(2), +SENSE MOTIVE +15(7)

UNTRAINED  
ACROBATICS +2*, APPRAISE +1, +CLIMB +0*, +CRAFT +1, +DISGUISE +0, ESCAPE ARTIST +2*, +HEAL +3, PERFORM +0, +RIDE +2*, STEALTH +2*, SURVIVAL +3, SWIM +0*  
(FLY +2*)

*Armour Check Penalty: Skill at –3 due to armour worn.  
+Class Skill

FEATS  
[BLIND-FIGHT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_blind-fight%0A)  
The character is skilled at attacking opponents that she cannot clearly perceive.

[JUDGMENT SURGE [REQUIRES: JUDGMENT CLASS FEATURE]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/ultimateMagicFeats.html#_judgment-surge) (1 USE/DAY)  
Once per day, the power of the character's faith surges, further empowering her judgements.

[WEAPON FOCUS: (SWORD CANE) [REQUIRES: WEAPON PROFICIENCY, BAB +1]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_weapon-focus) (1 USE/DAY)  
The character gains a +1 bonus on all attack rolls she makes using the selected weapon.

[EXTENDED BANE [REQUIRES: BANE CLASS FEATURE]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/ultimateMagicFeats.html#extended-bane)   
The character's dedication knows no limit. Her wrath dies hard.

[RACIAL ABILITIES: DROW](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advancedRaceGuide/featuredRaces/drow.html#_drow-racial-traits)  
[DANCING LIGHTS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/dancingLights.html#_dancing-lights) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Drow can create up to four illusory lights and direct their motion.  
[DARKNESS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/darkness.html#_darkness) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Drow can touch an object and cause it to radiate a deep darkness that dims even magical light.  
[FAERIE FIRE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/faerieFire.html#_faerie-fire) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Drow can cause a person to glow with a pale fire that clings to them even if they are not otherwise visible.  
LANGUAGES - Drow begin play speaking Undercommon and High Elven. Drow with high Intelligence can choose bonus languages from the following: Common, Dark Folk, Draconic, Drow Sign Language, Dwarven, Gnome, Goblin or Infernal.

SPECIAL ABILITIES  
GODMARKED  
[HERO’S FORTUNE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/advancedNewRules.html#_hero's-fortune) \- Even at the start of her career, it was clear that the character had a chance at greatness, and her legend continues to grow with every adventure.  
[LORE KEEPER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/cleric.html#_knowledge-domain) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] – The character can touch a creature to learn about its abilities and weaknesses.  
EXTRA – The character treats all Knowledge skills as class skills.  
[DISGUISE SELF](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/disguiseSelf.html#_disguise-self) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (3 USES/DAY) - The character's appearance changes— potentially including clothing, armor, weapons, and equipment. She cannot change her creature type, but otherwise the extent of the apparent change is up to her.  
[MIRROR IMAGE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/mirrorImage.html#_mirror-image) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (2 USES/DAY) - The character can create decoy duplicates of herself.  
[DISPEL MAGIC](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/dispelMagic.html#dispel-magic) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Dispels one ongoing spell, or temporarily suppresses a magic item, or counters another spell.

CLASS FEATURES  
WEAPON AND ARMOUR PROFICIENCY: INQUISITOR  
An inquisitor is proficient with all simple weapons, plus the hand crossbow, longbow, repeating crossbow, shortbow, and the favoured weapon of her deity (THE SEER OF MIND favours the SWORD CANE). She is also proficient with light armour, medium armour, and shields (except tower shields).

DOMAIN: [INQUISITION (Justice)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spellcastingClassOptions/inquisitor.html#_justice-inquisition)  
JUDICIOUS FORCE [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (3 USES/DAY)  
The inquisitor or an ally next to her has a better chance of doing a massively damaging strike to their foe.

[JUDGEMENT](paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/baseClasses/inquisitor.html#_judgment) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (3 USES/DAY)  
The inquisitor can gain one of several abilities for a combat, so long as she is able to participate in the action. She can also switch which ability she is using partway through.

MONSTER LORE [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
The inquisitor is skilled at identifying the abilities and weaknesses of creatures.

STERN GAZE [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
Inquisitors are skilled at sensing deception and intimidating their foes.

[DETECT ALIGNMENT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/baseClasses/inquisitor.html#_detect-alignment) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY]  
At will, the inquisitor can use _detect chaos, detect evil, detect good_ or _detect law._ She can only use one of these at any given time.

[TRACK](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/baseClasses/inquisitor.html#_track) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
At 2nd level, the inquisitor adds half her level on Survival skill checks made to follow or identify tracks.

[SOLO TACTICS [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/baseClasses/inquisitor.html#_solo-tactics)   
At 3rd level, the Inquisitor can make use of her teamwork feats as if her allies had the same feats as she did, although only she can reap the benefits.

[TEAMWORK FEAT: LOOKOUT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/advancedFeats.html#_lookout)   
The inquisitor's allies help her avoid being surprised.

[BANE [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/baseClasses/inquisitor.html#_bane) (10 ROUNDS/DAY)  
At 5th level, an inquisitor can imbue one of her weapons with the bane weapon special ability as a swift action, doing far more damage against [the chosen type of creature.](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/magicItems/weapons.html#_weapons-bane)

[DISCERN LIES [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] ](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/baseClasses/inquisitor.html#_discern-lies) (5 ROUNDS/DAY)  
At 5th level, an inquisitor can discern lies, [as per the spell](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/discernLies.html#_discern-lies), for a number of rounds per day equal to her inquisitor level.

[TEAMWORK FEAT: SWAP PLACES](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/advancedFeats.html#_swap-places)   
The inquisitor is skilled at changing places with her allies during a chaotic melee.

SPELLS  
LEVEL 0 [At Will] Save DC 13  
[BRAND](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/spells/brand.html#_brand), [DAZE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/daze.html#_daze), [DETECT MAGIC](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/detectMagic.html#_detect-magic), [DETECT POISON](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/detectPoison.html#_detect-poison), [SIFT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/spells/sift.html#_sift), [STABILIZE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/stabilize.html#_stabilize)

LEVEL 1 [5/Day] Save DC 14  
[COMPREHEND LANGUAGES](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/comprehendLanguages.html#_comprehend-languages), [CURE LIGHT WOUNDS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/cureLightWounds.html#_cure-light-wounds), [DIVINE FAVOUR](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/divineFavor.html#_divine-favor), [PERSUASIVE GOAD](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spells/persuasiveGoad.html#_persuasive-goad), [HEIGHTENED AWARENESS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advancedClassGuide/spells/heightenedAwareness.html#)

LEVEL 2 [4/Day] Save DC 15  
[BLOODHOUND](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/spells/bloodhound.html#_bloodhound), [CONFESS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/spells/confess.html#_confess), [SEE INVISIBILITY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/seeInvisibility.html#_see-invisibility), [ZONE OF TRUTH](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/zoneOfTruth.html#_zone-of-truth)

LEVEL 3 [2/Day] Save DC 16  
[BLOOD SCENT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advancedRaceGuide/featuredRaces/orcs.html#blood-scent), [RIGHTEOUS VIGOR](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/spells/righteousVigor.html#righteous-vigor)

* * *

SOLLUX CAPTOR [SORCERER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/sorcerer.html#_sorcerer) \- [ARCANE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/sorcerer.html#_arcane) ([SAGE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spellcastingClassOptions/sorcerer.html#_sage))/[DESTINED](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/sorcerer.html#_destined) ([KARMIC](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spellcastingClassOptions/sorcerer.html#_karmic)) ([CROSSBLOODED](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spellcastingClassOptions/sorcerer.html#_crossblooded-\(archetype\)) [WORDCASTER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/ultimateMagicWordsOfPower.html)) 7  
CHAOTIC NEUTRAL

TL:DR - Sollux can boost the power of his spells, cast them without movement and dispel magic. His godmark lets him bestow curses that mess up combat ability.

[](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/kgu19nfbaxeezfh/Sollux%20Captor.png?dl=0)

BASIC STATISTICS  
GENDER: Male  
HAIR/EYES: White hair, one red and one blue eye  
HOMELAND: The Greenweald Forest Region (No Fixed Abode)  
DEITY: The Mage of Doom  
LANGUAGES: Common, High Elven, Orc, Infernal, Undercommon  
RACE: Halfbreed (Drow/Tiefling)

ATTRIBUTES  
STRENGTH: 12[+1]  
DEXTERITY: 14[+2]  
CONSTITUTION: 13[+1]  
INTELLIGENCE: 18[+4]  
WISDOM: 8[-1]  
CHARISMA: 10[+0]

HIT POINTS: 39/39  
HERO POINTS: 3/3  
INITIATIVE: +6  
BASE SPEED/S: 30ft (land)

ARMOUR CLASS [AC]: 15  
TOUCH AC: 12  
FLAT-FOOTED AC: 13

BASE ATTACK BONUS [BAB]: +3  
BASIC MELEE ATTACK: +4  
BASIC RANGED ATTACK: +5  
COMBAT MANEUVER BONUS [CMB]: +4  
COMBAT MANEUVER DEFENCE [CMD]: 16

SAVES  
FORTITUDE: +3  
REFLEX: +4  
WILL: +4

[WEAPONS/ATTACKS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_weapon-descriptions)  
[SHURIKEN](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_shuriken) \- 5 Ammunition

EQUIPMENT - [CARRYING CAPACITY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/additionalRules.html#_carrying-capacity) (STR 12)

EQUIPMENT - ITEM SLOTS  
CLOTHING: EXPLORER'S OUTFIT  
This set of clothes is for someone who never knows what to expect. It includes sturdy boots, leather breeches, a belt, a shirt with a jacket, gloves and a cloak. The clothes have plenty of pockets (especially the cloak). The outfit also includes any extra accessories the character might need, such as a scarf or a wide-brimmed hat.

NECK: HAUNTED BROKEN AMULET OF THE LABYRINTH (SIR WILLIAM COSBIE)  
Effect Unknown

WRISTS: [BRACERS OF ARMOUR +3](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/magicItems/wondrousItems.html#_bracers-of-armor)  
These items appear to be wrist or arm guards. They surround the wearer with an invisible but tangible field of force, granting him an armour bonus of +1, just as though he were wearing armour. Both bracers must be worn for the magic to be effective.

EQUIPMENT - POSSESSIONS  
Shuriken [x5] 0.5lb, Bracers of Armour +3 1lb, Eyeglasses, Haunted Broken Amulet of the Labyrinth

>[BAG OF HOLDING, TYPE 1](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/magicItems/wondrousItems.html#_bag-of-holding) 15lbs (Capacity 250lbs)  
Tent (Medium, 2 people) 30lbs, Bedroll [x2] 10lbs, Blanket (Common) [x2] 2lb, Mysterious Journal 3lbs, Potion of Cure Moderate Wounds [x5]

TOTAL 16.5lbs (45lbs in EDS)

EQUIPMENT - MONEY  
0CP, 8SP, 508GP, 0PP  
OTHER:

SKILLS  
TRAINED  
APPRAISE +11(7), +KNOWLEDGE ARCANA +16(7), +KNOWLEDGE DUNGEONEERING +14(7), +KNOWLEDGE HISTORY +13(6), +SPELLCRAFT +16(7), +USE MAGIC DEVICE +11(7)

UNTRAINED  
+ACROBATICS +2*, +BLUFF -1, CLIMB +1*, +CRAFT +3, DIPLOMACY +0, DISGUISE +0, ESCAPE ARTIST +2*, HEAL -1, +INTIMIDATE +0, PERCEPTION -1, PERFORM +0, RIDE +2*, SENSE MOTIVE +0, STEALTH +0*, SURVIVAL -1, SWIM +1*  
(+FLY +2*)

*Armour Check Penalty: Skill at –0 due to armour worn.  
+Class Skill

FEATS  
EXTRA WORD [CASTER LEVEL 1ST IN BARD, ORACLE OR SORCERER]   
The character has uncovered a new word of power.

[COMBAT CASTING](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_combat-casting)   
The character is adept at spellcasting when threatened or distracted.

[IMPROVED INITIATIVE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_improved-initiative)   
The character's quick reflexes allow him to react rapidly to danger.

[INTENSIFIED SPELL](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/advancedFeats.html#intensified-spell)   
The character's spells can go beyond normal damage limitations.

[RACIAL ABILITIES: HALF-ELF](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advancedRaceGuide/coreRaces/halfElves.html#_half-elf-racial-traits) ([ALTERNATE RACIAL TRAITS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advancedRaceGuide/coreRaces/halfElves.html#_alternate-racial-traits))  
ATTRIBUTE SHIFT - +2 Intelligence.  
DROW-BLOODED – Replaces Low-Light Vision.  
ELVEN IMMUNITIES.  
MIXED BLOOD – The character counts as both Drow and Tiefling for any effect related to race. Replaces Elf Blood.  
WARY – Replaces Keen Senses.  
DUAL MINDED – Replaces Adaptability.  
ARCANE TRAINING – Replaces Multitalented.  
LANGUAGES – Halfbreeds begin play speaking Common and High Elven. Halfbreeds with high Intelligence scores can choose any language as a bonus language (except secret languages, such as Druidic).

SPECIAL ABILITIES  
GODMARKED  
WEAPON PROFICIENCY (SHURIKEN)  
[ARCANE BEACON](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/cleric.html#_arcane-beacon) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (3 USES/DAY) – The character can emanate an aura that makes spells cast near him more powerful and harder to resist.  
[BANE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/bane.html#_bane) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (3 USES/DAY) - Bane fills enemies with fear and doubt, and counters and dispels Bless.  
[AID](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/aid.html#_aid) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (2 USES/DAY) – Aid grants a bonus to attacks and saves, and makes the target temporarily harder to kill.  
[BESTOW CURSE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/bestowCurse.html#bestow-curse) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) - You place a curse on the subject.

CLASS FEATURES  
WEAPON AND ARMOUR PROFICIENCY: SORCERER  
Sorcerers are proficient with all simple weapons. They are not proficient with any type of armour or shield. Armour interferes with a sorcerer's gestures, which can cause his spells with somatic components to fail.

FEAT: [ESCHEW MATERIALS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_eschew-materials)  
The character can cast many spells without needing to utilize minor material components.

BLOODLINE FEAT: [STILL SPELL](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#still-spell)  
The sorcerer can cast spells without moving, by raising the level of the spell.

BLOODLINE: [CROSSBLOODED](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spellcastingClassOptions/sorcerer.html#_crossblooded-%28archetype%29) [SAGE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spellcastingClassOptions/sorcerer.html#_sage)/[KARMIC](paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spellcastingClassOptions/sorcerer.html#_karmic)  
CLASS SKILL: Knowledge (Any One: Dungeoneering) and Knowledge History.  
BLOODLINE ARCANA: Unlike most sorcerers, the character understands and masters his magic through intellect rather than force of personality, and has a better understanding of arcane forces as a result. Additionally, if he fails to cast when under threat, the creature that disrupted his concentration is left vulnerable to attack.  
DRAWBACK: A crossblooded sorcerer has one fewer spell known at each level, and is weaker willed.  
BLOODLINE POWERS:  
1\. ARCANE BOLT [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (7 USES/DAY): The sorcerer can unleash a ray of magical force as an attack, increasing in power dependant on the sorcerer's class level.  
2.[ METAMAGIC ADEPT [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/sorcerer.html#_arcane) (1 USE/DAY): At 3rd level, the Sage Sorcerer can apply metamagic feats to his spells without any reduction in casting speed.

SPELLS: BLOODLINE SPELLS (CAN BE USED INSTEAD OF EQUIVALENT LEVEL WORDSPELL)  
LEVEL 1 – [IDENTIFY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/identify.html#_identify)(Gives a bonus to identifying the properties and command words of magic items in the caster's possession.)  
LEVEL 2 – [BLUR](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/blur.html#_blur)(The target's outline becomes blurred, and they are harder to hit.)  
LEVEL 3 – [DISPEL MAGIC](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/dispelMagic.html#dispel-magic)(A targeted dispel or a counterspell.)  


SPELLS: [WORDS OF POWER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/ultimateMagicWordsOfPower.html#_words-of-power)  
LEVEL 0 [At Will] Save DC 14  
One Effect Word Only (Level 0)

LEVEL 1 [7/Day] Save DC 15  
One Effect Word Only (Level 1 or lower)

LEVEL 2 [7/Day] Save DC 16  
One Effect Word (Level 2 or lower)  
Two Effect Words (Level 0 and Level 0)

LEVEL 3 [5/Day] Save DC 17  
One Effect Word (Level 3 or lower)  
Two Effect Words (Level 1 and Level 1 OR Level 2 and Level 0)  
Three Effect Words (Level 0 and Level 0 and Level 0)

[EFFECT WORDS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/wordsOfPower/effectWords.html)   
[FLAME JET (Fire 0)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/wordsOfPower/effectWords/fireWords.html#_flame-jet-%28fire%29), [SPARK (Electricity 0)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/wordsOfPower/effectWords/electricityWords.html#_spark-%28electricity%29), [LIFT (Gravity 0)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/wordsOfPower/effectWords/gravityWords.html#_lift-%28gravity%29), [FORCE BLOCK (Armor 0)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/wordsOfPower/effectWords/armorWords.html#_force-block-%28armor%29), [DECIPHER (Language 0)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/wordsOfPower/effectWords/languageWords.html#_decipher-%28language%29)  
[BURNING FLASH (Fire 1)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/wordsOfPower/effectWords/fireWords.html#_burning-flash-%28fire%29), [GLIDE (Flight 1)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/spells/glide.html#_glide-), [SHOCK ARC (Electricity 1)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/wordsOfPower/effectWords/electricityWords.html#_shock-arc-%28electricity%29), [FORCE SHIELD (Armor 1)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/wordsOfPower/effectWords/armorWords.html#_force-shield-%28armor%29), [SERVITOR I (Summoning 1)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/wordsOfPower/effectWords/summoningWords.html#servitor-i-%28summoning%29)  
[SUPPRESS (Dispelling 2)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/wordsOfPower/effectWords/dispellingWords.html#_suppress-%28dispelling%29), [FORCE BOLT (Force 2)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/wordsOfPower/effectWords/forceWords.html#force-bolt-%28force%29)

[LIGHTNING BLAST (Electricity 3)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/wordsOfPower/effectWords/electricityWords.html#lightning-blast-%28electricity%29)   


[TARGET WORDS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/wordsOfPower/targetWords.html)   
CONE (Target 0), PERSONAL (Target 0), SELECTED (Target 0)  
BURST (Target 1), LINE (Target 1)  
BARRIER (Target 3)

[META WORDS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/wordsOfPower/metaWords.html)   
(NOTE: META WORDS CAN ONLY BE USED ½ WORDCASTER LEVEL TIMES PER DAY)  
BOOST (Meta 0), DISTANT (Meta 0)

* * *

ARADIA MEGIDO [SORCERER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/sorcerer.html#_sorcerer) \- [DREAMSPUN](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/sorcerer.html#_dreamspun) 7  
TRUE NEUTRAL

TL:DR - Aradia is now much more competent with a whip, and can cast a spell that puts more powerful enemies into a slumber. Her Godmark lets her delay people in time, like Dave's.

[ ](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/7ub9bd7pt8m7sv0/Aradia%20Megido.png?dl=0)

BASIC STATISTICS  
GENDER: Female  
HAIR/EYES: Black hair, red eyes  
HOMELAND: The Greenweald Forest Region (No Fixed Abode)  
DEITY: The Maid of Time  
LANGUAGES: Common, Infernal, Orc, High Elven  
RACE: Tiefling

ATTRIBUTES  
STRENGTH: 8[-1]  
DEXTERITY: 12[+1]  
CONSTITUTION: 12[+1]  
INTELLIGENCE: 15[+2]  
WISDOM: 14[+2]  
CHARISMA: 14[+2] (16[+3])

HIT POINTS: 37/37  
HERO POINTS: 3/3  
INITIATIVE: +6  
BASE SPEED/S: 30ft (land)

ARMOUR CLASS [AC]: 14  
TOUCH AC: 11  
FLAT-FOOTED AC: 13

BASE ATTACK BONUS [BAB]: +3  
BASIC MELEE ATTACK: +2  
BASIC RANGED ATTACK: +4  
COMBAT MANEUVER BONUS [CMB]: +2  
COMBAT MANEUVER DEFENCE [CMD]: 13

SAVES  
FORTITUDE: +3  
REFLEX: +3  
WILL: +7

[WEAPONS/ATTACKS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_weapon-descriptions)  
[WHIP](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_whip) \- This is a [nonlethal](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/equipment.html#_nonlethal), [reach](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/equipment.html#_reach-weapons), [disarm](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/equipment.html#_disarm), [trip](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/equipment.html#_trip) weapon. A whip deals no damage to any creature with an armour bonus of +1 or higher, or a natural armour bonus of +3 or higher. Using a whip provokes an attack of opportunity, just as if the character had used a ranged weapon.

EQUIPMENT - [CARRYING CAPACITY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/additionalRules.html#_carrying-capacity) (STR 8)

EQUIPMENT - ITEM SLOTS  
CLOTHING: EXPLORER'S OUTFIT  
This set of clothes is for someone who never knows what to expect. It includes sturdy boots, leather skirt, a belt, a shirt with a vest, gloves and a cloak. The clothes have plenty of pockets (especially the cloak). The outfit also includes any extra accessories the character might need, such as a scarf or a wide-brimmed hat.

WRISTS: [BRACERS OF ARMOUR +3](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/magicItems/wondrousItems.html#_bracers-of-armor)  
These items appear to be wrist or arm guards. They surround the wearer with an invisible but tangible field of force, granting him an armour bonus of +1, just as though he were wearing armour. Both bracers must be worn for the magic to be effective.

EQUIPMENT - POSSESSIONS  
Whip 2lbs, Bracers of Armour +3 1lb

>[BAG OF HOLDING, TYPE 1](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/magicItems/wondrousItems.html#_bag-of-holding)  
Rope (Silk) [50ft] 5lbs, String/Twine [50ft] 0.5lbs, Sewing Needle, Compass 0.5lbs, Kit (Map Making) [Anyone using this kit to draw a map as they travel receives a +2 circumstance bonus on Survival skill checks to avoid becoming lost] 2lbs, Wayfinder 1lb, Waterskin 4lbs

>POUCH, BELT 0.5lbs (Capacity 10lbs)  
Kit (Cooking) 2lbs, Potion of Cure Moderate Wounds [x5], Dust of Emulation [x1]

TOTAL 19.5lbs (13lbs in EDS)

EQUIPMENT - MONEY  
3CP, 3SP, 534GP, 0PP  
OTHER:

SKILLS  
TRAINED  
+ACROBATICS +5(1)*, CLIMB +2(3)*, KNOWLEDGE DUNGEONEERING +9(7), KNOWLEDGE HISTORY +9(7), SURVIVAL +7(5), SWIM +2(3)* +USE MAGIC DEVICE +11(6)

UNTRAINED  
APPRAISE +2, +BLUFF +2, +CRAFT +2, DIPLOMACY +2, DISGUISE +2, ESCAPE ARTIST +1*, HEAL +2, +INTIMIDATE +2, PERCEPTION +2, PERFORM +1, RIDE +1*, +SENSE MOTIVE +2, STEALTH +1*  
(+FLY +1*)

*Armour Check Penalty: Skill at –0 due to armour worn.  
+Class Skill

FEATS  
[COMBAT CASTING](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_combat-casting)  
The character is adept at spellcasting when threatened or distracted.

[IMPROVED INITIATIVE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_improved-initiative)   
The character's quick reflexes allow her to react rapidly to danger.

[WEAPON FOCUS: (WHIP) [REQUIRES: WEAPON PROFICIENCY, BAB +1]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_weapon-focus)   
The character gains a +1 bonus on all attack rolls she makes using the selected weapon.

[WHIP MASTERY [REQUIRES: WEAPON FOCUS, BAB +2]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/ultimateCombatFeats.html#whip-mastery)   
The character's superior expertise with this weapon does not provoke attacks of opportunity from her enemies. She can deal lethal damage with a whip, although she can still deal nonlethal damage when she wants. Further, she can deal damage with a whip despite a creature's armor bonus or natural armor bonus.

[RACIAL ABILITIES: TIEFLING](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advancedRaceGuide/featuredRaces/tieflings.html#_tiefling-racial-traits)  
TIEFLINGS DO NOT COUNT AS OUTSIDERS FOR THE PURPOSE OF THIS SETTING.  
SORCEROUS GIFT - Tiefling sorcerers treat their Charisma score as 2 points higher for all sorcerer class abilities.  
[DARKNESS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/darkness.html#_darkness) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Tieflings can touch an object and cause it to radiate a deep darkness that dims even magical light.  
LANGUAGES - Tieflings begin play speaking Common and either Abyssal or Infernal. Tieflings with high Intelligence scores can choose any of the following bonus languages: Abyssal, Draconic, Dwarven, High Elven, Gnome, Goblin, Halfling, Infernal, and Orc.

SPECIAL ABILITIES  
GODMARKED  
WEAPON PROFICIENCY (WHIP)  
[BINDING TIES](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/cleric.html#_binding-ties) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (5 USES/DAY) – The character can temporarily take the suffering as an ally onto herself, rendering them temporarily immune to the condition for a short time dependent on her character level.  
[DEATHWATCH](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/deathwatch.html#_deathwatch) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY](3 USES/DAY) - The character can determine the condition of creatures near death within the spell's range.  
[ONE TRACK MIND](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/3rd-party-spells/purple-duck-games/one-track-mind) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (2 USES/DAY) - The target repeats their last action over and over again.  
[DELAYED REACTION](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/3rd-party-spells/4-winds-fantasy-gaming---3rd-party-spells/delayed-reaction) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – The target is unable to react to things going on around them, delaying their action until after the character's next turn.

CLASS FEATURES  
WEAPON AND ARMOUR PROFICIENCY: SORCERER  
Sorcerers are proficient with all simple weapons. They are not proficient with any type of armour or shield. Armour interferes with a sorcerer's gestures, which can cause her spells with somatic components to fail.

FEAT: [ESCHEW MATERIALS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_eschew-materials)  
The character can cast many spells without needing to utilize minor material components.

BLOODLINE FEAT: [COMBAT EXPERTISE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#combat-expertise)  
The sorcerer can choose to take a penalty on melee attack rolls and combat maneuver checks to gain a dodge bonus to her Armor Class.

BLOODLINE: [DREAMSPUN](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/sorcerer.html#_dreamspun)  
CLASS SKILL: Sense Motive.  
BLOODLINE ARCANA: Whenever the character targets a single creature with a spell, she is briefly better protected against attacks made by that foe.  
BLOODLINE POWERS:  
1\. [ LULLABY [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/lullaby.html#_lullaby) (6 USES/DAY): The character can make another creature drowsy, rendering them less perceptive and more susceptible to sleep magic.  
2.[ COMBAT PRECOGNITION [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/sorcerer.html#_combat-precognition)  
At 3rd level, the sorcerer’s insight into the future makes her faster to react to threats.

SPELLS  
LEVEL 0 [At Will] Save DC 13  
[DETECT MAGIC](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/detectMagic.html#_detect-magic), [GHOST SOUND](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/ghostSound.html#_ghost-sound), [MAGE HAND](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/mageHand.html#_mage-hand), [MESSAGE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/message.html#_message), [OPEN/CLOSE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/openClose.html#_open-close), [PRESTIDIGITATION](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/prestidigitation.html#_prestidigitation), [RAY OF FROST](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/rayOfFrost.html#_ray-of-frost)

LEVEL 1 [7/Day] Save DC 14  
[CHILL TOUCH](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/chillTouch.html#_chill-touch), [HYPNOTISM](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/hypnotism.html#_hypnotism), [MAGIC MISSILE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/magicMissile.html#_magic-missile), [UNSEEN SERVANT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/unseenServant.html#_unseen-servant), [SLEEP](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/sleep.html#_sleep), [EAR-PIERCING SCREAM](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spells/earPiercingScream.html#ear-piercing-scream)

LEVEL 2 [7/Day] Save DC 15  
[AUGURY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/augury.html#_augury), [HAUNTING MISTS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spells/hauntingMists.html#_haunting-mists), [LEVITATE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/levitate.html#_levitate), [UNSHAKEABLE CHILL](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spells/unshakableChill.html#unshakable-chill)

LEVEL 3 [5/Day] Save DC 16  
[RAY OF EXHAUSTION](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/rayOfExhaustion.html#_ray-of-exhaustion), [DEEP SLUMBER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/deepSlumber.html#deep-slumber), [RAIN OF FROGS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spells/rainOfFrogs.html#rain-of-frogs)

* * *

KANAYA MARYAM [CLERIC](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/cleric.html#_cleric) 7  
TRUE NEUTRAL

TL:DR - Kanaya reacts faster to a fight starting, and has improved abilities to channel divine energy to heal or harm. Her Godmark lets her fly.

[ ](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/x61dftcoyacm39k/Kanaya%20Maryam.png?dl=0)

BASIC STATISTICS  
GENDER: Female  
HAIR/EYES: White hair, green eyes  
HOMELAND: City of Golgesi (Temple Spire)/The Greenweald Forest Region (No Fixed Abode)  
DEITY: The Sylph of Space  
LANGUAGES: Undercommon, High Elven  
RACE: Drow (Dark Elf)

ATTRIBUTES  
STRENGTH: 13[+1]  
DEXTERITY: 10[+0]  
CONSTITUTION: 13[+1]  
INTELLIGENCE: 10[+0]  
WISDOM: 15[+2]  
CHARISMA: 14[+2]

HIT POINTS: 44/44  
HERO POINTS: 5/5  
INITIATIVE: +4  
BASE SPEED/S: 30ft (land)

ARMOUR CLASS [AC]: 18  
TOUCH AC: 10  
FLAT-FOOTED AC: 18

BASE ATTACK BONUS [BAB]: +5  
BASIC MELEE ATTACK: +6  
BASIC RANGED ATTACK: +5  
COMBAT MANEUVER BONUS [CMB]: +6  
COMBAT MANEUVER DEFENCE [CMD]: 16

SAVES  
FORTITUDE: +7  
REFLEX: +3  
WILL: +8

[WEAPONS/ATTACKS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_weapon-descriptions)  
[+1 ](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_sawtooth-sabre)[GREYFLAME](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/magicItems/weapons.html#_grayflame) SAWTOOTH SABRE - This weapon counts as “light" for the purposes of two-weapon fighting.  
SPECIAL: A Greyflame weapon responds to channeled positive or negative energy. When the wielder spends a swift action to channel energy through the weapon, it ignites with a strange gray flame that sheds light as a torch, increases the weapon's enhancement bonus by +1, and deals +1d6 damage (as the divine power from flame strike) to creatures struck by the weapon.  
[SHIELD BASH, LIGHT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/equipment.html#_shield-bash-attacks) \- Treat as “light" for the purposes of two-weapon fighting, and lose shield bonus to AC when used as a weapon.  
[DAGGER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_dagger) \- Can be thrown, range 10ft.

EQUIPMENT - [CARRYING CAPACITY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/additionalRules.html#_carrying-capacity) (STR 13)

EQUIPMENT - ITEM SLOTS  
CLOTHING: EXPLORER'S OUTFIT  
This set of clothes is for someone who never knows what to expect. It includes sturdy boots, a leather overtunic over a cloth skirt, a belt, a shirt, gloves and a cloak. The clothes have plenty of pockets (especially the cloak). The outfit also includes any extra accessories the character might need, such as a scarf or a wide-brimmed hat.

ARMOUR: +2 STUDDED LEATHER ARMOUR  
+5 armour bonus, +5 max DEX bonus, -0 Armour Check Penalty, 15% Arcane Spell Failure Chance, LIGHT

SHIELD: +1 LIGHT WOODEN SHIELD  
+2 shield bonus, -0 Armour Check Penalty, 5% Arcane Spell Failure Chance  
SPECIAL: The character can bash an opponent with a light shield. Used this way, a light shield is a martial bludgeoning weapon. For the purpose of penalties on attack rolls, treat a shield as a light weapon. If she uses her shield as a weapon, she loses its AC bonus until her next turn.

SHOULDERS: [CLOAK OF RESISTANCE +1](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/magicItems/wondrousItems.html#_cloak-of-resistance)  
This garment offers magical protection in the form of a +1 resistance bonus on all saving throws.

EQUIPMENT - POSSESSIONS  
Masterwork Sawtooth Sabre 2lbs, +1 Studded Leather Armour 20lbs, +1 Shield (Light Wooden) 5lbs, Cloak of Resistance +1 1lb, Eyeglasses, Holy Symbol (Wooden), Dagger 1lb, Waterskin 4lbs

>HANDY HAVERSACK 5lbs (Extradimensional Space, Capacity 80lbs+20lbs+20lbs)  
Tent (Small, 1 person) 20lbs, Bedroll 5lbs, Blanket (Common) 1lb, Kit (Healer's) [This collection of bandages and herbs provides a +2 circumstance bonus on Heal checks. A healer's kit is exhausted after 10 uses] 1lb, Meditation Tea [x3], Incense of Meditation [x3] 3lbs

>POUCH, BELT 0.5lbs (Capacity 10lbs)  
Flint and Steel, Whetstone 1lb, String/Twine [50ft] 0.5lbs, Sewing Needle  
Rations (Wandermeal) [x8] [Eating this tough, dried cake for over a week without other nutrients causes the eater to feel ill] 4lbs, Potion of Cure Moderate Wounds [x5]

TOTAL 21lbs (32lbs+0lbs+0lbs in EDS)

EQUIPMENT - MONEY  
9CP, 2SP, 13GP, 0PP  
OTHER:

SKILLS  
TRAINED  
+CRAFT(APPAREL) +8(5), +DIPLOMACY +12(7), +HEAL +8(3), +KNOWLEDGE RELIGION +7(4)

UNTRAINED  
ACROBATICS +0*, +APPRAISE +0, BLUFF +2, CLIMB +1*, +CRAFT +0, DISGUISE +2, ESCAPE ARTIST +0*, INTIMIDATE +2, PERCEPTION +2, PERFORM +2, RIDE +0*, +SENSE MOTIVE +2, STEALTH +0*, SURVIVAL +2, SWIM +1*  
(FLY +0*)

*Armour Check Penalty: Skill at –0 due to armour worn.  
+Class Skill

FEATS  
[ SELECTIVE CHANNELING [REQUIRES: CHA 13, CHANNEL ENERGY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_selective-channeling) (CAN EXCLUDE: 2)  
The character can choose whom to affect when she channels energy.

[COMBAT CASTING](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_combat-casting)   
The character is adept at spellcasting when threatened or distracted.

[VERSATILE CHANNELER [REQUIRES: CHANNEL ENERGY, NEUTRAL ALIGNMENT]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/ultimateMagicFeats.html#_versatile-channeler)   
The character can choose to channel positive and negative energy.

[IMPROVED INITIATIVE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#improved-initiative)   
The character's quick reflexes allow her to react rapidly to danger.

[RACIAL ABILITIES: DROW](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advancedRaceGuide/featuredRaces/drow.html#_drow-racial-traits)  
[DANCING LIGHTS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/dancingLights.html#_dancing-lights) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Drow can create up to four illusory lights and direct their motion.  
[DARKNESS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/darkness.html#_darkness) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Drow can touch an object and cause it to radiate a deep darkness that dims even magical light.  
[FAERIE FIRE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/faerieFire.html#_faerie-fire) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Drow can cause a person to glow with a pale fire that clings to them even if they are not otherwise visible.  
LANGUAGES - Drow begin play speaking Undercommon and High Elven. Drow with high Intelligence can choose bonus languages from the following: Common, Dark Folk, Draconic, Drow Sign Language, Dwarven, Gnome, Goblin or Infernal.

SPECIAL ABILITIES  
GODMARKED  
[HERO’S FORTUNE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/advancedNewRules.html#_hero's-fortune) \- Even at the start of her career, it was clear that the character had a chance at greatness, and her legend continues to grow with every adventure.  
[RENEWED STRENGTH](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/classes/core-classes/cleric/domains/3rd-party-publishers---domains/4-winds-fantasy-gaming---domains/renewal-domain) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (5 USES/DAY) – The character can cure her allies of exhaustion, fatigue, sickness and nausea with a touch.  
[LONGSTRIDER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/longstrider.html#_longstrider) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY](3 USES/DAY) - This power gives the character a +10 foot enhancement bonus to her base speed.  
[LOCATE OBJECT ](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/locateObject.html#_locate-object) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (2 USES/DAY) - The character senses the direction towards an object (specific or type).  
[FLY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/fly.html#fog-cloud) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – The character can fly.

CLASS FEATURES  
WEAPON AND ARMOUR PROFICIENCY: CLERIC  
Clerics are proficient with all simple weapons, light armour, medium armour, and shields (except tower shields). Clerics are also proficient with the favoured weapon of their deities (THE SYLPH OF SPACE favours the SAWTOOTH SABRE).

[CHANNEL ENERGY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/cleric.html#_channel-energy-cleric) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (5 USES/DAY, DC15, 4D6)  
The cleric can channel positive energy through her holy symbol, choosing to either deal damage to undead creatures or to heal living creatures in a burst of holy power.

SPONTANEOUS CASTING  
The cleric can channel stored spell energy into healing spells that she hasn't prepared ahead of time. She can "lose" any prepared spell that is not an orison or domain spell in order to cast any cure spell of the same spell level or lower.

DOMAINS: [CHARM](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/cleric.html#_charm-domain) ([LOVE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/cleric.html#_love-subdomain)) AND [DEATH](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/cleric.html#_death-domain) ([UNDEAD](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/cleric.html#_undead-subdomain))  
DOMAIN POWERS: ADORATION [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (5 USES/DAY) – The cleric can attempt to thwart a single physical attack against her person.  
DOMAIN POWERS: [DEATH'S KISS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/cleric.html#_death%27s-kiss) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (5 USES/DAY) – The cleric can cause a creature to take on some of the traits of the undead with a touch.

SPELLS  
[CLERIC LEVEL 0](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/spell-lists-and-domains/spell-lists---cleric#p0) [4 Prepared, At Will] Save DC 12  
+MENDING – Makes minor repairs on an object.  
+PURIFY FOOD AND DRINK – Purifies 1 cubic ft/level of food or water.  
+SPARK – Ignites flammable objects.  
+STABILIZE – Cause a dying creature to stabilize.

[CLERIC LEVEL 1](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/spell-lists-and-domains/spell-lists---cleric#p1) [5/Day+1 Prepared] Save DC 13  
DOMAIN SPELLS:  
+CHARM PERSON – Makes one person your friend.  
+CAUSE FEAR – One creature of 5HD or less flees for 1d4 rounds.  
  
+++BLESS – Allies gain +1 on attack rolls and saves against fear.  
+TOUCH OF BLOODLETTING - This spell causes existing wounds on a target to bleed profusely.

[CLERIC LEVEL 2](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/spell-lists-and-domains/spell-lists---cleric#p2) [4/Day+1 Prepared] Save DC 14  
DOMAIN SPELLS:  
ENTHRALL - Captivates all within 100 ft. + 10 ft./level.  
++[GHOUL TOUCH](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/ghoulTouch.html#_ghoul-touch) \- Paralyzes one subject, which exudes stench that makes those nearby sickened.  
  
++[BLOOD OF THE MARTYR](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/all-spells/b/blood-of-the-martyr) \- Target bleeds from orifices, enabling other creatures to sup the blood to regain hit points. 1D6/4 levels (max 4d6) damage/healing.  
+CURE MODERATE WOUNDS - Cures 2d8 damage + 1/level (max +10).

[CLERIC LEVEL 3](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/spell-lists-and-domains/spell-lists---cleric#p3) [2/Day+1 Prepared] Save DC 15  
DOMAIN SPELLS:  
[SUGGESTION](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/suggestion.html#_suggestion) \- Compels a subject to follow stated course of action.  
+[+ANIMATE DEAD](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/animateDead.html#_animate-dead) \- Turns corpses into undead skeletons or zombies that obey spoken commands.  
  
+SEARING LIGHT - Ray deals 1d8/two levels damage (more against undead).  
+BLOOD BIOGRAPHY - Learn about a creature with its blood.

[CLERIC LEVEL 4](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/spell-lists-and-domains/spell-lists---cleric#p4) [1/Day+1 Prepared] Save DC 16  
DOMAIN SPELLS:  
[HEROISM](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/heroism.html#heroism) \- This spell imbues a single creature with great bravery and morale in battle.  
+[+ENERVATION](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/enervation.html#enervation) \- You point your finger and fire a black ray of negative energy that suppresses the life force of any living creature it strikes.  
  
+CURE CRITICAL WOUNDS - Cures 4d8 damage + 1/level (max +20).

* * *

JANE CROCKER [RANGER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/ranger.html#_ranger) ([URBAN RANGER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/ranger.html#_urban-ranger)) 7  
LAWFUL GOOD

TL:DR - Jane can now shove people more easily in combat, and can travel more easily in Adventurer areas of cities. Her Godmark grants her the power to Cure Serious Wounds.

[ ](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/md6fpl4wbg6saxy/Jane%20Crocker.png?dl=0)

BASIC STATISTICS  
GENDER: Female  
HAIR/EYES: Black hair, blue eyes  
HOMELAND: City of Porthaven (Outer Ring)  
DEITY: The Maid of Life  
LANGUAGES: Common, High Elven, Celestial, Orc  
RACE: Tuatha (High Elf)

ATTRIBUTES  
STRENGTH: 16[+3]  
DEXTERITY: 15[+2]  
CONSTITUTION: 12[+1]  
INTELLIGENCE: 10[+0]  
WISDOM: 12[+1]  
CHARISMA: 10[+0]

HIT POINTS: 55/55  
HERO POINTS: 4/5  
INITIATIVE: +2  
BASE SPEED/S: 30ft (land)

ARMOUR CLASS [AC]: 21  
TOUCH AC: 12  
FLAT-FOOTED AC: 19

BASE ATTACK BONUS [BAB]: +7/+2  
BASIC MELEE ATTACK: +10/+5  
BASIC RANGED ATTACK: +9/+4  
COMBAT MANEUVER BONUS [CMB]: +10/+5(+12 for Bull Rush)  
COMBAT MANEUVER DEFENCE [CMD]: 22(24 for Bull Rush)

SAVES  
FORTITUDE: +6  
REFLEX: +7  
WILL: +3

[WEAPONS/ATTACKS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_weapon-descriptions)  
[+1 ](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_trident)[UNDEAD BANE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/magicItems/weapons.html#_weapons-bane) TRIDENT - This is a [brace](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/equipment.html#_brace) weapon. Can be thrown, range 10ft. A bane weapon excels against the specified foes.  
[SHIELD BASH, LIGHT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/equipment.html#_shield-bash-attacks) \- Treat as “light" for the purposes of two-weapon fighting, and lose shield bonus to AC when used as a weapon.  
[DAGGER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_dagger) \- Can be thrown, range 10ft.

EQUIPMENT - [CARRYING CAPACITY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/additionalRules.html#_carrying-capacity) (STR 17)

EQUIPMENT - ITEM SLOTS  
CLOTHING: ARTISAN'S OUTFIT  
This outfit consists of a blouse with buttons, drawstring skirt, shoes, and a neat cloth cap. It also includes a cloth apron for carrying small items such as a money pouch.

ARMOUR: +2 STUDDED LEATHER  
+5 armour bonus, +5 max DEX bonus, 0 Armour Check Penalty, 15% Arcane Spell Failure Chance, LIGHT

SHIELD: LIGHT STEEL SHIELD OF BASHING +1  
+3 shield bonus, -0 Armour Check Penalty, 5% Arcane Spell Failure Chance  
SPECIAL: The character can bash an opponent with a light shield. Used this way, a light shield of bashing is a martial bludgeoning weapon of two size categories larger, and acts as a +1 weapon when used to bash. For the purpose of penalties on attack rolls, treat a shield as a light weapon. If she uses her shield as a weapon, she loses its AC bonus until her next turn.

EQUIPMENT - POSSESSIONS  
Trident 4lbs, +2 Studded Leather 20lbs, Light Steel Shield of Bashing +1 6lbs, Dagger 1lb, Waterskin 4lbs

>BACKPACK, MASTERWORK 4lbs (Capacity 60lbs, +1 STR to carry loads)  
Bedroll 5lbs, Kit (Cooking) 2lbs, Rations (Trail) [x6] 6lb, Parade Armour 20lbs, Elixir of Truth [x1], Elixir of Vision [x1], Shield (Light Steel) 6lbs

>POUCH, BELT 0.5lbs (Capacity 10lbs)  
Flint and Steel, Manacles 2lbs, Map [+1 circumstance bonus on Survival checks made to navigate in the Greenweald Forest region] 2lbs

TOTAL 62.5lbs (19.5lbs without backpack)

EQUIPMENT - MONEY  
0CP, 2SP, 73GP, 0PP  
OTHER:

SKILLS  
TRAINED  
ACROBATICS +7(4)*, +CRAFT(COOKING) +10(7), DISGUISE +5(5), +KNOWLEDGE LOCAL +6(3), +PERCEPTION +11(7), SENSE MOTIVE +10(6), +STEALTH +11(6)*, +SURVIVAL +10(6)

UNTRAINED  
+APPRAISE +0, BLUFF +0, +CLIMB +3*, CRAFT +0, +DIPLOMACY +0, ESCAPE ARTIST +2*, +HEAL +1, +INTIMIDATE +0, PERFORM +0, +RIDE +2*, +SWIM +3*  
(FLY +2*)

*Armour Check Penalty: Skill at –0 due to armour worn.  
+Class Skill

FEATS  
[ COSMOPOLITAN](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/advancedFeats.html#_cosmopolitan) (APPRAISE AND DIPLOMACY)  
Living in large, exotic cities has put the character in touch with many diverse civilizations, cultures, and races.

[TWO-WEAPON FIGHTING [REQUIRES: DEX 15]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_two-weapon-fighting)  
The character can fight with a weapon wielded in each of her hands. She can make one extra attack each round with the secondary weapon.

[POWER ATTACK [REQUIRES: STR 13, BAB+1]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_power-attack)  
The character can make exceptionally deadly melee attacks by sacrificing accuracy for strength.

[IMPROVED BULL RUSH [REQUIRES: STR 13, BAB+1, POWER ATTACK]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#improved-bull-rush)   
The character is skilled at pushing her foes around.

[RACIAL ABILITIES: ELVEN](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advancedRaceGuide/coreRaces/elves.html#_elf-racial-traits)  
LANGUAGES - Tuatha begin play speaking Common and High Elven. Tuatha with high Intelligence scores can choose from the following: Celestial, Draconic, Gnoll, Gnome, Goblin, Orc, and Sylvan.

SPECIAL ABILITIES  
GODMARKED  
[HERO’S FORTUNE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/advancedNewRules.html#_hero's-fortune) \- Even at the start of her career, it was clear that the character had a chance at greatness, and her legend continues to grow with every adventure.  
[BINDING TIES](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/cleric.html#_binding-ties) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (3 USES/DAY) – The character can temporarily take the suffering as an ally onto herself, rendering them temporarily immune to the condition for a short time dependent on her character level.  
[CURE LIGHT WOUNDS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/cureLightWounds.html#_cure-light-wounds) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (3 USES/DAY) - When laying her hand upon a living creature, the character channels positive energy that cures 1d8 points of damage + 1 point per caster level (maximum +5).  
[CURE MODERATE WOUNDS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/cureModerateWounds.html#_cure-moderate-wounds) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (2 USES/DAY) - When laying her hand upon a living creature, the character channels positive energy that cures 2d8 points of damage + 1 point per caster level (maximum +10).  
[CURE SERIOUS WOUNDS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/cureSeriousWounds.html#cure-serious-wounds) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY](1 USE/DAY) - When laying her hand upon a living creature, the character channels positive energy that cures 3d8 points of damage + 1 point per character level (maximum +15).

CLASS FEATURES  
WEAPON AND ARMOUR PROFICIENCY: RANGER  
A ranger is proficient with all simple and martial weapons and with light armour, medium armour and shields (except tower shields).

[FAVOURED ENEMY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/ranger.html#_favored-enemy) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY] - HUMANOID (ELF) [+2], UNDEAD [+4]  
A ranger is better at attacking and damaging their favoured enemies. They spot them, track them, lie to them and understand them better, and know more about them than other similar creatures.

TRACK [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
A ranger is better at following or identifying tracks.

WILD EMPATHY [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
A ranger can communicate wordlessly with an animal, in the hope of making it more friendly towards the ranger and her allies.

COMBAT STYLE FEAT: [SHIELD FOCUS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_shield-focus) [REQUIRES: SHIELD PROFICIENCY, BAB +1]  
Increase the defensive bonus granted by any shield you are using.

[FAVOURED COMMUNITY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/ranger.html#_favored-community) (ADVENTURER'S QUARTER)  
At 3rd level, the urban ranger forms a bond with a community. While inside the limits of this community, she gains numerous bonuses to knowledge, tracking and survival, as well as being untrackable herself.

[FEAT: ENDURANCE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_endurance)   
The character is more readily able to handle prolonged physical activity and deprivation, and may sleep in light or medium armour without becoming fatigued.

[HUNTER’S BOND – COMPANION BOND [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/ranger.html#_hunter-s-bond)   
At 4th level, a ranger forms a bond with her hunting companions, allowing her to extend a limited version of her favoured enemy bonuses to them.

COMBAT STYLE FEAT: [IMPROVED SHIELD BASH](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_improved-shield-bash) [REQUIRES: SHIELD PROFICIENCY]  
The ranger can protect herself with her shield, even if she uses it to attack.

[PUSH THROUGH](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/ranger.html#push-through) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
At 7th level, an urban ranger is never slowed by difficult terrain in her favored communities. In addition, she can move through the space occupied by local citizens as if they were allies.

SPELLS  
[RANGER LEVEL 1](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/spell-lists-and-domains/spell-lists---ranger#p1) [2/Day Prepared] Save DC 12  
+HUNTER’S HOWL – Treat enemies as favoured for 1 round/level.  
+LEAD BLADES - Melee weapons damage as if one size bigger.

[RANGER LEVEL 2](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/spell-lists-and-domains/spell-lists---ranger#p2) [0/Day Prepared] Save DC 13  


* * *

JAKE ENGLISH [GUNSLINGER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/classes/gunslinger.html) ([PISTOLERO](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/classArchetypes/gunslinger.html#_pistolero-\(archetype\))) 7  
CHAOTIC GOOD

TL:DR - Jake can now aim or concentrate his attacks for more damage. From his Godmark he gains the power to Remove Curse. He also learned to swim.

[ ](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/n3p1zlae510hs31/Jake%20English.png?dl=0)

BASIC STATISTICS  
GENDER: Male  
HAIR/EYES: Black hair, green eyes  
HOMELAND: Quartzkin Clanhold  
DEITY: The Page of Hope  
LANGUAGES: Common, High Elven, Dwarven  
RACE: Tuatha (High Elf)

ATTRIBUTES  
STRENGTH: 13[+1]  
DEXTERITY: 17[+3]  
CONSTITUTION: 10[+0]  
INTELLIGENCE: 10[+0]  
WISDOM: 15[+2]  
CHARISMA: 10[+0]

HIT POINTS: 47/47  
HERO POINTS: 3/5  
INITIATIVE: +3(+5 if holding Grit)  
BASE SPEED/S: 30ft (land)

ARMOUR CLASS [AC]: 21  
TOUCH AC: 15  
FLAT-FOOTED AC: 16

BASE ATTACK BONUS [BAB]: +7/+2  
BASIC MELEE ATTACK: +8/+3  
BASIC RANGED ATTACK: +10/+5  
COMBAT MANEUVER BONUS [CMB]: +8/+3  
COMBAT MANEUVER DEFENCE [CMD]: 21

SAVES  
FORTITUDE: +5  
REFLEX: +8  
WILL: +4

[WEAPONS/ATTACKS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_firearms-table)  
[HEAVY PICK](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_heavy-pick)  
[MASTERWORK GUNSLINGER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/classes/gunslinger.html#_gunsmith) [PISTOL](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/combat/firearms.html#_pistol) \- Ammunition 22 bullets, 22 black powder charges (both required to fire).  
[MASTERWORK PISTOL](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/combat/firearms.html#_pistol) \- As above, shared ammunition.

EQUIPMENT - [CARRYING CAPACITY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/additionalRules.html#_carrying-capacity) (STR 14)

EQUIPMENT - ITEM SLOTS  
CLOTHING: TRAVELLER'S OUTFIT  
This set of clothes consists of boots, wool breeches, a sturdy belt, a shirt (perhaps with a vest or jacket), and an ample coat with a hood.

CLOTHING: ADVENTURER'S SASH  
This bandoleer holds six pouches along its length and a satchel at the hip. Each pouch has a stiff leather flap that can be secured against jostling with a clasp (requiring a move action to open or close) or left unfastened for easier access. The pouches and satchel each contain a number of loops and ties for further securing equipment. The sash buckles at the shoulder, and can be freed with a sharp tug in an emergency as a move action.

ARMOUR: +2 MITHRAL CHAIN SHIRT  
+6 armour bonus, +6 max DEX bonus, -0 Armour Check Penalty, 10% Arcane Spell Failure Chance, LIGHT  
SPECIAL: An item made from mithral weighs half as much as the same item made from other metals.

CHEST: [ALL TOOLS VEST](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/magicItems/wondrousItems.html#_all-tools-vest)  
This well-made leather vest bears numerous shiny metal buttons, which stud a number of bulging pockets. Once per day, as a standard action, the wearer can speak the vest’s command word and order it to bring forth all the standard tools required to make checks for any one Craft skill. These tools appear in the countless pockets of the vest or, if too heavy, on the floor, on a nearby shelf, on a workbench, or in a toolbox or cupboard that appears nearby. Once summoned, they remain for 24 hours or until another creature touches them, whichever comes first.

BELT: [BENEFICIAL BANDOLIER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/wondrousItems/belts.html#_beneficial-bandolier) (22/200)  
This bandolier is made of finely tanned leather. It has slots for up to 200 rounds of ammunition. Pellets and black powder are kept in tiny individual pouches, and bullets in small loops. As a swift action, the wearer can command a single round of ammunition from the beneficial bandolier to teleport into a firearm of the appropriate type that he is wielding.

RING 1: [RING OF GRIT MASTERY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/ringsRodsStaves/rings.html#_ring-of-grit-mastery) (0/2)  
This ring is made out of fused firearm bullets, making it a chunky but overall impressive ring. Twice per day, as a free action, when the wearer regains grit, he can choose to store it in the ring of grit mastery instead of regaining the grit point. Any grit points stored in the ring disappear at the start of each day.

EQUIPMENT - POSSESSIONS  
Adventurer's Sash 3lbs, Heavy Pick 6lbs, Masterwork Gunslinger Pistol 4lbs, Masterwork Pistol 4lbs, +2 Mithral Chain Shirt 12.5lbs, All Tools Vest 5lbs, Beneficial Bandolier 2lbs, Ring of Grit Mastery, Dagger 1lb, Waterskin 4lbs

>[HANDY HAVERSACK](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/magicItems/wondrousItems.html#_handy-haversack) 5lbs (Extradimensional Space, Capacity 80lbs+20lbs+20lbs)  
Bedroll 5lbs, Blanket (Common) [x2] 2lb, Kit (Grooming) 2lbs, Kit (Cooking) 2lbs, Kit (Mess) 1lb, Kit (Dungeoneering Deluxe) 15lbs, Kit (Gunsmith’s) 2lbs, Kit (Gear Maintenance) 2lbs, Potion of Cure Light Wounds [x4], Moonrod [x17], Dragon Punch Whiskey [x1]  
Tent (Small, 1 person) 20lbs  
Rations (Trail) [x20] 20lb

>LEATHER SATCHEL 1lbs (Capacity 35lbs)  
Healer's Kit [10 uses, +2] 1lb, Wound Paste [x3] 0.5lbs

>POUCH, BELT 0.5lbs (Capacity 10lbs)  
Flint and Steel, Compass 0.5lbs, Oil of Silence [x1], Potion of Cure Moderate Wounds [x5]

>POWDER HORN 1lb (Capacity 10 x Black Powder)  
Black Powder [x2] [crafted at 10% cost]

>POWDER HORN 1lb (Capacity 10 x Black Powder)  
Black Powder [x10] [crafted at 10% cost]

>POWDER HORN 1lb (Capacity 10 x Black Powder)  
Black Powder [x10] [crafted at 10% cost]

TOTAL 40.5lbs (20.5lbs+20lbs+20lbs in EDS)

EQUIPMENT - MONEY  
0CP, 0SP, 495GP, 0PP  
OTHER:

SKILLS  
TRAINED  
+ACROBATICS +11(5)*, +CLIMB +7(3)*, +CRAFT(ALCHEMY) +9(6),*DISABLE DEVICE +2(2), KNOWLEDGE DUNGEONEERING +7(7), LINGUISTICS +1(1), +SURVIVAL +7(2), +SWIM +5(1)*, USE MAGIC DEVICE +4(4)

UNTRAINED  
APPRAISE +0, +BLUFF +0, CRAFT +0, DIPLOMACY +0, DISGUISE +0, ESCAPE ARTIST +3*, +HEAL +2, +INTIMIDATE +0, +PERCEPTION +2, PERFORM +0, +RIDE +3*, SENSE MOTIVE +2, STEALTH +3*  
(FLY +3*)

*Armour Check Penalty: Skill at –0 due to armour worn.  
+Class Skill

FEATS  
[ RAPID RELOAD (PISTOL) [REQUIRES: WEAPON PROFICIENCY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/ultimateCombatFeats.html#_rapid-reload)  
The character can reload pistols quickly.

[BLIND-FIGHT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_blind-fight)   
The character is skilled at attacking opponents that he cannot clearly perceive.

[TWO-WEAPON FIGHTING [REQUIRES: DEX 15]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_two-weapon-fighting)  
The character can fight with a weapon wielded in each of her hands. She can make one extra attack each round with the secondary weapon.

[POINT-BLANK SHOT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#point-blank-shot)   
The character is especially accurate when making ranged attacks against close targets.

[RACIAL ABILITIES: ELVEN](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advancedRaceGuide/coreRaces/elves.html#_elf-racial-traits)  
LANGUAGES - Tuatha begin play speaking Common and High Elven. Tuatha with high Intelligence scores can choose from the following: Celestial, Draconic, Gnoll, Gnome, Goblin, Orc, and Sylvan.

SPECIAL ABILITIES  
GODMARKED  
[HERO’S FORTUNE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/advancedNewRules.html#_hero's-fortune) \- Even at the start of his career, it was clear that the character had a chance at greatness, and his legend continues to grow with every adventure.  
[HONOR BOUND](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/cleric.html#_honor-bound) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (3 USES/DAY) – The character can, with a touch, remind a creature of its duties and responsibilities and help them shake off an enchantment or compulsion. He can also attempt to shake off effects of this nature that have affected him.  
[REMOVE FEAR](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/removeFear.html#_remove-fear) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY](3 USES/DAY) – The character instils courage in the subject, granting them a bonus against fear effects for 10 minutes.  
[REMOVE PARALYSIS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/removeParalysis.html#_remove-paralysis) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY](2 USES/DAY) – The character frees creatures from paralysis or slow effects.  
[REMOVE CURSE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/removeCurse.html#remove-curse) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY](1 USE/DAY) – Counters and dispels bestow curse, and can remove all curses on an object or a creature.

CLASS FEATURES  
WEAPON AND ARMOUR PROFICIENCY: GUNSLINGER (PISTOLERO)  
Pistoleros are proficient with all simple and martial weapons, and with one-handed firearms. They are proficient with all light armour.

[GUNSMITH](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/classes/gunslinger.html#_gunsmith) (PISTOLERO)  
A gunslinger has a battered pistol, which only he knows how to properly use. To anyone else, the gun seems to be broken.

[FEAT: QUICK DRAW [REQUIRES: BAB +1]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_quick-draw)  
The gunslinger can draw weapons faster than most.

FEAT: [GUNSMITHING](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/ultimateCombatFeats.html#_gunsmithing)  
The character knows the secrets of repairing and restoring firearms.

[GRIT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/classes/gunslinger.html#_grit) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY] (2/2)  
Gunslingers make their mark upon the world with their grit, which they use to accomplish daring deeds (see below).

[DEEDS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/classes/gunslinger.html#_deeds)  
1\. [UP CLOSE AND DEADLY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/classArchetypes/gunslinger.html#_up-close-and-deadly) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
2\. [GUNSLINGER'S DODGE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/classes/gunslinger.html#_gunslinger%27s-dodge) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
3\. [QUICK CLEAR](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/classes/gunslinger.html#_quick-clear) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
4\. [DEAD SHOT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/classes/gunslinger.html#dead-shot) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
5\. [DEAD](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/classes/gunslinger.html#deadeye)[EYE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/classArchetypes/gunslinger.html#deadeye) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
6\. [TARGETING](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/classes/gunslinger.html#targeting) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]

[GUNSLINGER INITIATIVE [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/classes/gunslinger.html#_gunslinger-initiative) \- At 3rd level, as long as the gunslinger has at least 1 grit point, he is markedly faster to react to threats.  
  
[PISTOL-WHIP [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/classes/gunslinger.html#_pistol-whip) \- At 3rd level, the gunslinger can make a surprise melee attack with the butt or handle of his firearm for a cost of 1 grit point.  
  
[UTILITY SHOT [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/classes/gunslinger.html#_utility-shot) \- At 3rd level, as long as the gunslinger has at least 1 grit point, he can perform utility shots (Blast Lock- breaks locks open, Scoot Unattended Object- moves a tiny object up to 15 feet, and Stop Bleeding- uses the hot barrel of the gun to cauterize wounds).

[NIMBLE [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY] (+2)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/classes/gunslinger.html#_nimble)  
Starting at 2nd level, the gunslinger gains a dodge bonus to AC while wearing light or no armour.

[PISTOL TRAINING 1 [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/classArchetypes/gunslinger.html#_pistol-training)  
Starting at 5th level, the pistolero increases his skill with one-handed firearms, doing more damage in line with his Dexterity and becoming progressively less likely to misfire.

* * *

ROXY LALONDE [WIZARD](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/wizard.html#_wizard) 3 / [ROGUE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/rogue.html#_rogue) 3 / [ARCANE TRICKSTER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/prestigeClasses/arcaneTrickster.html#arcane-trickster) 1  
CHAOTIC GOOD

TL:DR - Roxy gains a level in the prestige class "Arcane Trickster", which increases her spellcasting as Wizard and lets her disable traps and use sleight of hand at distance. Her illusions are hard to resist, and her Godmark lets her become undetectable to magic.

[](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/5i92rjtgq134lqh/Roxy%20Lalonde.png?dl=0)

BASIC STATISTICS  
GENDER: Female  
HAIR/EYES: Blonde hair, pink eyes  
HOMELAND: City of Porthaven (Temple District)  
DEITY: The Rogue of Void  
LANGUAGES: Common, Celestial, High Elven, Draconic  
RACE: Aasimar

ATTRIBUTES  
STRENGTH: 10[+0]  
DEXTERITY: 13[+1]  
CONSTITUTION: 14[+2]  
INTELLIGENCE: 16[+3]  
WISDOM: 10[+0]  
CHARISMA: 14[+2]

HIT POINTS: 48/48  
HERO POINTS: 2/3  
INITIATIVE: +5  
BASE SPEED/S: 30ft (land)

ARMOUR CLASS [AC]: 11(15)  
TOUCH AC: 11  
FLAT-FOOTED AC: 10(14)  
+1 dodge bonus to AC against attacks made by traps.

BASE ATTACK BONUS [BAB]: +3  
BASIC MELEE ATTACK: +3  
BASIC RANGED ATTACK: +4  
COMBAT MANEUVER BONUS [CMB]: +3  
COMBAT MANEUVER DEFENCE [CMD]: 14

SAVES  
FORTITUDE: +4  
REFLEX: +6  
WILL: +5  
+1 bonus to Reflex saves made to avoid traps.

[WEAPONS/ATTACKS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_weapon-descriptions)  
[UNARMED](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_improved-unarmed-strike) [STRIKE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/combat.html#_unarmed-strike-damage)  
[CROSSBOW, LIGHT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_light-crossbow) – 20 ammunition  
[DAGGER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_dagger) \- Can be thrown, range 10ft.

EQUIPMENT - [CARRYING CAPACITY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/additionalRules.html#_carrying-capacity) (STR 10)

EQUIPMENT - ITEM SLOTS  
CLOTHING: ENTERTAINER'S OUTFIT  
This set of flashy- perhaps even gaudy- clothes is for entertaining. While the outfit looks whimsical, its practical design lets the character tumble, dance, walk a tightrope, or just run if the audience turns ugly.

EQUIPMENT - POSSESSIONS  
Crossbow (Light) 4lbs, Bolts (Crossbow) [x20] 2lb, Signet Ring, Dagger 1lb, Waterskin 4lbs, Hip Flask 2lbs

>POUCH, SPELL COMPONENTS 2lbs

>POUCH, BELT 0.5lbs (Capacity 10lbs)  
Ink (Black) [1oz. Vial], Inkpen, Pearl of Power (1st level), Dragon Whistle

TOTAL 15.5lbs

EQUIPMENT - MONEY  
0CP, 0SP, 0GP, 0PP  
OTHER:

SKILLS  
TRAINED  
+BLUFF +11(6), +DIPLOMACY +12(7), +DISABLE DEVICE* +11(7), +ESCAPE ARTIST +11(7)*, +KNOWLEDGE ARCANA +13(7), +SLEIGHT OF HAND +5(1)*, +SPELLCRAFT +12(6), +STEALTH +14(7)*, +USE MAGIC DEVICE +12(7)

UNTRAINED  
+ACROBATICS +1*, +APPRAISE +3, +CLIMB +0*, +CRAFT +3, +DISGUISE +2, HEAL +0, +INTIMIDATE +2, +PERCEPTION +2(4), +PERFORM +2, RIDE +1*, +SENSE MOTIVE +2(4), SURVIVAL +2, +SWIM +0*  
(+FLY +1*)

*Armour Check Penalty: Skill at –0 due to armour worn.  
+Class Skill

FEATS  
[ARCANE STRIKE [REQUIRES: ARCANE SPELLCASTING]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_arcane-strike)  
The character draws upon her arcane power to enhance her weapons with magical energy.

[IMPROVED INITIATIVE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_improved-initiative)   
The character's quick reflexes allow her to react rapidly to danger.

[ECLECTIC (ROGUE) [REQUIRES: HUMAN]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/advancedFeats.html#_eclectic)   
The character has a talent for picking up different vocations. NOTE: As there are no humans in the setting, the human requirement is accepted to apply to Aasimar as the closest equivalent.

[SPELL FOCUS (ILLUSION)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#spell-focus)   
Any spells you cast of the chosen magic school are more difficult to resist.

[RACIAL ABILITIES: AASIMAR](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advancedRaceGuide/featuredRaces/aasimars.html#_aasimar-racial-traits)  
AASIMARS DO NOT COUNT AS OUTSIDERS FOR THE PURPOSE OF THIS SETTING.  
[DAYLIGHT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/daylight.html#_daylight) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Aasimars can touch an object and cause it to shed a brilliant light which drives back even magical darkness.  
LANGUAGES – Aasimars begin play speaking Common and Celestial. Aasimars with high Intelligence scores can choose any of the following bonus languages: Draconic, Dwarven, High Elven, Gnome, Halfling, and Sylvan.

SPECIAL ABILITIES  
GODMARKED  
[IMPROVED UNARMED STRIKE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_improved-unarmed-strike) \- The character is skilled at fighting while unarmed.  
[COPYCAT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/cleric.html#_trickery-domain) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (5 USES/DAY) – The character can briefly, dependent on her character level, create an illusory double of herself to distract or mislead others.  
EXTRA – Bluff, Disguise and Stealth are class skills.  
[ENTROPIC SHIELD](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/entropicShield.html#_entropic-shield) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY](3 USES/DAY) - A magical field appears around the character, glowing with a chaotic blast of multicolored hues and deflecting some incoming ranged attacks.  
[BLINDNESS/DEAFNESS (BLINDNESS ONLY)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/blindnessDeafness.html#_blindness-deafness) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY](2 USES/DAY) - This power renders the subject blind.  
[NONDETECTION](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/nondetection.html#nondetection) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY](1 USE/DAY) – Protects against location by divination spells and magic items.

CLASS FEATURES  
WEAPON AND ARMOUR PROFICIENCY: WIZARD  
Wizards are proficient with the club, dagger, heavy crossbow, light crossbow, and quarterstaff, but not with any type of armour or shield. Armour interferes with a wizard's movements, which can cause her spells with somatic components to fail.

[ARCANE BOND](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/wizard.html#_arcane-bond) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]: [FAMILIAR](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/wizard.html#_familiars) (FRIGGLISH, [CAT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/monsters/familiar.html#_cat))  
Grants his master a +3 bonus on Stealth checks.  
If a familiar is dismissed, lost, or dies, it can be replaced 1 week later though a specialised ritual that costs 200gp per wizard level. The ritual takes 8 hours to complete.  
HIT POINTS: 20 HIT DICE: 6  
SIZE: Tiny REACH: 0ft SPEED: 30ft  
STR 3[-4], DEX 15[+2], CON 8[-1], INT 7[-2], WIS 12[+1], CHA 7[-2]  
ATTACK:  
BAB: +3 ATTACK: BITE +5 (1d3-4), CLAWS[x2] +5 (1d2-4)  
CMB: +3  
DEFENCE:  
AC: 16 (Natural Armour +2)  
CMD: 11 (15 vs. trip)  
SAVES: FORT 1, REF 6, WILL 5  
SKILLS:  
Climb 6, Perception 5, Stealth 14 (use master's skill ranks if better)  
FEATS:  
[Weapon Finesse](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_weapon-finesse)  
SPECIAL ABILITIES:  
[Low-Light Vision](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/glossary.html#_low-light-vision), [Scent](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/glossary.html#_scent), [Empathic Link](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/wizard.html#_familiar-empathic-link), [Improved Evasion](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/wizard.html#_familiar-improved-evasion), [Share Spells](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/wizard.html#_familiar-share-spells), [Deliver Touch Spells](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/wizard.html#_familiar-deliver-touch-spells)

ARCANE SCHOOL: [ILLUSION](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/wizard.html#_illusion-school)  
OPPOSITION SCHOOLS: [NECROMANCY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/wizard.html#_necromancy-school), [DIVINATION](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/wizard.html#_divination-school)  
A wizard that chooses to specialise in one school of magic must select two opposition schools whose spells are harder for them to cast, but they gain the ability to cast an additional spell from their school each day and related school powers.  
1\. EXTENDED ILLUSIONS [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY]  
2\. BLINDING RAY [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (5 USES/DAY)

FEAT: [SCRIBE SCROLL](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_scribe-scroll)  
The character can create magic scrolls.

FEAT: [ALERTNESS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_alertness) [REQUIRES: FAMILIAR WITHIN ARM'S REACH]  
The character often notices things that others might miss when her familiar is nearby.

[SNEAK ATTACK [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY] (+2d6 Precision Damage)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/rogue.html#_sneak-attack)  
A rogue can strike a vital spot for more damage whenever their foe is in a vulnerable position.

[TRAPFINDING](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/rogue.html#_trapfinding) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
The rogue adds 1/2 her level to Perception skill checks made to locate traps and to Disable Device skill checks (minimum +1). A rogue can use Disable Device to disarm magic traps.

[TRAP SENSE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/rogue.html#_trap-sense-rogue) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY] (+1)  
At 3rd level, a rogue gains an intuitive sense that alerts her to danger from traps.

ROGUE TALENTS  
[OFFENSIVE DEFENCE](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/classes/core-classes/rogue/rogue-talents/paizo---rogue-talents/offensive-defense-ex) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
When a rogue with this talent hits a creature with a melee sneak attack that deals sneak attack damage, the rogue gains greater defence against that foe.

[RANGED LEGERDEMAIN](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/prestigeClasses/arcaneTrickster.html#ranged-legerdemain) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY]  
The arcane trickster can use Disable Device and Sleight of Hand at a range of 30 feet.

SPELLS  
LEVEL 0 [4 Prepared, At Will] Save DC 12  
+(ILLU) GHOST SOUND – Figment sounds.  
+(TRANS) JOLT – Deal 1d3 Electrical damage with a ranged touch attack.  
+(TRANS) MESSAGE – Whisper conversation at distance.  
+(UNIV) PRESTIDIGITATION – Performs minor tricks.

WIZARD CANTRIPS KNOWN: [RESISTANCE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/resistance.html#_resistance), [ACID SPLASH](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/acidSplash.html#_acid-splash), [DRENCH](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/rare-cantrips), [DAZE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/daze.html#_daze), [BREEZE](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/rare-cantrips), [DANCING LIGHTS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/dancingLights.html#_dancing-lights), [FLARE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/flare.html#_flare), [LIGHT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/light.html#_light), [PENUMBRA](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/rare-cantrips), [RAY OF FROST](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/rayOfFrost.html#_ray-of-frost), [SCOOP](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/rare-cantrips), [SPARK](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/spells/spark.html#_spark-), [GHOST SOUND](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/ghostSound.html#_ghost-sound), [HAUNTED FEY ASPECT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/spells/hauntedFeyAspect.html#_haunted-fey-aspect), [JOLT](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/rare-cantrips), [MAGE HAND](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/mageHand.html#_mage-hand), [MENDING](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/mending.html#_mending), [MESSAGE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/message.html#_message), [OPEN/CLOSE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/openClose.html#_open-close), [ROOT](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/rare-cantrips), [ARCANE MARK](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/arcaneMark.html#_arcane-mark), [PRESTIDIGITATION](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/prestidigitation.html#_prestidigitation)

LEVEL 1 [4/Day+1 Prepared] Save DC 14  
SCHOOL SPELL (ILLUSION):  
+(ILLU)VANISH – As invisibility for 1 round/level (5 max).  
+(ILLU)SHADOW WEAPON - Create a quasi-real masterwork weapon.  
+(CONJ) MAGE ARMOUR – Gives subject +4 armour bonus.  
++(ENCH)CHARM PERSON – Makes one person your friend.

WIZARD FIRST-LEVEL SPELLS KNOWN: [MAGE ARMOUR](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/mageArmor.html#_mage-armor), [DISGUISE SELF](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/disguiseSelf.html#_disguise-self), [ILLUSION OF CALM](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/spells/illusionOfCalm.html#_illusion-of-calm), [MAGIC AURA](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/magicAura.html#_magic-aura), [SHADOW WEAPON](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spells/shadowWeapon.html#_shadow-weapon), [VANISH](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/spells/vanish.html#_vanish), [CHARM PERSON](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/charmPerson.html#_charm-person)

LEVEL 2 [3/Day+1 Prepared] Save DC 15  
SCHOOL SPELL (ILLUSION):  
+(ILLU) MISDIRECTION - Misleads divinations for 1 creature or object.  
+++(ILLU) INVISIBILITY - Subject is invisible for 1 min./level or until it attacks.

WIZARD SECOND-LEVEL SPELLS KNOWN: [MISDIRECTION](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/misdirection.html#_misdirection), [INVISIBILITY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/invisibility.html#_invisibility)

* * *

DIRK STRIDER [BARD](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/bard.html#_bard) ([SOUND STRIKER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spellcastingClassOptions/bard.html#_sound-striker-\(archetype\))) 7  
NEUTRAL GOOD

TL:DR - Dirk has an improved Wordstrike and can now craft magical items (not weapons or armour). His Godmark lets him animate the dead.

[ ](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/7kmvohm4luab6po/Dirk%20Strider.png?dl=0)

BASIC STATISTICS  
GENDER: Male  
HAIR/EYES: Blonde hair, orange eyes  
HOMELAND: City of Porthaven (No Fixed Abode)/The Greenweald Forest Region (No Fixed Abode)  
DEITY: The Prince of Heart  
LANGUAGES: Common, Celestial, High Elven, Dwarven  
RACE: Aasimar

ATTRIBUTES  
STRENGTH: 13[+1]  
DEXTERITY: 12[+1]  
CONSTITUTION: 10[+0]  
INTELLIGENCE: 14[+2]  
WISDOM: 10[+0]  
CHARISMA: 18[+4]

HIT POINTS: 41/41  
HERO POINTS: 3/3  
INITIATIVE: +1  
BASE SPEED/S: 30ft (land)

ARMOUR CLASS [AC]: 14  
TOUCH AC: 11  
FLAT-FOOTED AC: 13

BASE ATTACK BONUS [BAB]: +5  
BASIC MELEE ATTACK: +6  
BASIC RANGED ATTACK: +6  
COMBAT MANEUVER BONUS [CMB]: +6  
COMBAT MANEUVER DEFENCE [CMD]: 17

SAVES  
FORTITUDE: +2  
REFLEX: +6  
WILL: +5

[WEAPONS/ATTACKS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/combat/easternArmorAndWeapons.html#_table-eastern-weapons-exotic)  
[MASTERWORK KATANA](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_katana) – This is a [deadly](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/combat/easternArmorAndWeapons.html#_deadly) weapon.  
[DAGGER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_dagger) \- Can be thrown, range 10ft.

EQUIPMENT - [CARRYING CAPACITY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/additionalRules.html#_carrying-capacity) (STR 13)

EQUIPMENT - ITEM SLOTS  
CLOTHING: ENTERTAINER'S OUTFIT + MASK  
This set of flashy- perhaps even gaudy- clothes is for entertaining. While the outfit looks whimsical, its practical design lets the character tumble, dance, walk a tightrope, or just run if the audience turns ugly. The mask is made from painted, varnished wood and cloth; it is ornate, gaudy even- a cheaper and more practical imitation of what a nobleman might wear to a masquerade ball.

ARMOUR: MASTERWORK STUDDED LEATHER  
+3 armour bonus, +5 max DEX bonus, -0 Armour Check Penalty, 15% Arcane Spell Failure Chance, LIGHT  
SPECIAL: Masterwork armour has an Armour Check Penalty one lower than normal and can be enchanted.

HANDS: [GLOVES OF RECONNAISSANCE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/wondrousItems/hands.html#_gloves-of-reconnaissance)  
Each of these fingerless worked leather gloves look as though they have seen heavy use, and often bear the stains or scent of grass or wet mud. On command, the wearer can use the gloves to see and hear though solid material no more than 15 feet thick by placing both hands on that material. The gloves can be used for 10 rounds each day. The rounds need not be consecutive.  


SLOTLESS: [SCABBARD OF VIGOR](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/wondrousItems/slotless.html#_scabbard-of-vigor)  
Once per day, as part of the action of drawing forth the weapon held by a scabbard of vigor, the wearer can order it to endow the weapon with an enhancement bonus on attack and damage rolls. The duration of the effect depends on the desired enhancement bonus for the weapon.  


EQUIPMENT - POSSESSIONS  
Masterwork Katana 6lbs, Masterwork Studded Leather 20lbs, Clothing (Mask, 3gp) 1lb, Gloves of Reconnaissance, Scabbard of Vigor 3lbs, Dagger 1lb, Waterskin 4lbs

>BACKPACK, COMMON 2lbs (Capacity 60lbs)  
Tent (Small, 1 person) 20lbs, Bedroll 5lbs, Kit (Juggler's) 10lbs, Rations (Wandermeal) [x14] [Eating this tough, dried cake for over a week without other nutrients causes the eater to feel ill] 7lbs

>POUCH, BELT 0.5lbs (Capacity 10lbs)  
Flint and Steel, Whetstone 1lb

>CARAVAN (Capacity 200lbs, Can produce mundane items up to 25gp in value)  
Maplehoof (Heavy Horse)

TOTAL 60.5lb (16.5lbs without backpack)

EQUIPMENT - MONEY  
13CP, 6SP, 7GP, 0PP  
OTHER:

SKILLS  
TRAINED  
+APPRAISE +8(3), +BLUFF +13(6), +CRAFT(SCULPTURES) +14(7), +CRAFT(WEAPONS) +12(7), +DIPLOMACY +10(3), HANDLE ANIMAL +5(1), +INTIMIDATE +8(1), +KNOWLEDGE LOCAL +8(2), +PERCEPTION +7(4), +PERFORM(SHARP RHYMES) +14(7), +PERFORM(SWEET MOVES) +14(7), +SENSE MOTIVE +10(7)

UNTRAINED  
+ACROBATICS +1(+7)*, +CLIMB +1*, +CRAFT +2, +DISGUISE +4, +ESCAPE ARTIST +1*, HEAL +0, +KNOWLEDGE ARCANA +3, +KNOWLEDGE DUNGEONEERING +3, +KNOWLEDGE ENGINEERING +3, +KNOWLEDGE GEOGRAPHY +3, +KNOWLEDGE HISTORY +3, +KNOWLEDGE NATURE +3, +KNOWLEDGE NOBILITY +3, +KNOWLEDGE PLANES +3, +KNOWLEDGE RELIGION +3, +PERFORM +3, RIDE +1*, +STEALTH +1*, SURVIVAL +0, SWIM +1*  
(FLY +1*)

*Armour Check Penalty: Skill at –0 due to armour worn.  
+Class Skill

FEATS  
[SPELLSONG [REQUIRES: CHA 13, BARDIC PERFORMANCE, 1st-LEVEL SPELLCASTING]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/ultimateMagicFeats.html#_spellsong)  
The character can blend the power of his performance and spellcasting.

[LINGERING PERFORMANCE [REQUIRES: BARDIC PERFORMANCE CLASS FEATURE]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/advancedFeats.html#_lingering-performance)   
The effects of the character's bardic performance carry on, even after he has stopped performing.

[MASTER CRAFTSMAN (CRAFT: SCULPTURES) [REQUIRES: 5 RANKS IN ANY CRAFT OR PROFESSION SKILL]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_master-craftsman)   
The character's superior crafting skills allow him to create simple magic items.

[CRAFT WONDROUS ITEM [REQUIRES: CASTER LEVEL 3RD]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#craft-wondrous-item)   
The character can create and repair wondrous items, a type of magic item.

[RACIAL ABILITIES: AASIMAR](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advancedRaceGuide/featuredRaces/aasimars.html#_aasimar-racial-traits)  
AASIMARS DO NOT COUNT AS OUTSIDERS FOR THE PURPOSE OF THIS SETTING.  
[DAYLIGHT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/daylight.html#_daylight) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Aasimars can touch an object and cause it to shed a brilliant light which drives back even magical darkness.  
LANGUAGES – Aasimars begin play speaking Common and Celestial. Aasimars with high Intelligence scores can choose any of the following bonus languages: Draconic, Dwarven, High Elven, Gnome, Halfling, and Sylvan.

SPECIAL ABILITIES  
GODMARKED  
WEAPON PROFICIENCY (KATANA)  
[DESTRUCTIVE SMITE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/cleric.html#_destruction-domain) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (7 USES/DAY)– The character can do more damage on a single melee attack, dependent on his character level.   
[DEATHWATCH](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/deathwatch.html#_deathwatch) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY](3 USES/DAY) - The character can determine the condition of creatures near death within the spell's range.  
[GENTLE REPOSE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/gentleRepose.html#_gentle-repose) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY](2 USES/DAY) - Preserves one corpse from decay for 1 day/character level.  
[ANIMATE DEAD](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/animateDead.html#animate-dead) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY](1 USE/DAY) - This spell turns corpses into undead skeletons or zombies that obey the character's spoken commands.

CLASS FEATURES  
WEAPON AND ARMOUR PROFICIENCY: BARD  
A bard is proficient with all simple weapons, plus the longsword, rapier, sap, shortsword, shortbow and whip. Bards are also proficient with light armour and shields (except tower shields). A bard can cast bard spells while wearing light armour and using a shield without incurring the normal arcane spell failure chance. Like any other arcane spellcaster, a bard wearing medium or heavy armour incurs a chance of arcane spell failure is the spell in question has a somatic component. A multiclass bard still incurs the normal arcane spell failure chance for arcane spells received from other classes.

BARDIC KNOWLEDGE [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
A bard has a little knowledge in all areas, and learns more as he becomes more experienced.

[BARDIC PERFORMANCE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/bard.html#_bardic-performance) (18 ROUNDS/DAY)  
A bard can create magical effects around him, so long as he is able to keep performing. He can make use of the following abilities when he performs, so long as he can be seen and/or heard by those he wishes to affect.  
1\. COUNTERSONG [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY]  
2\. DISTRACTION [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY]  
3\. FASCINATE [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (TARGETS 1)  
4\. INSPIRE COURAGE (+2) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY]  
5\. [WEIRD WORDS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spellcastingClassOptions/bard.html#_weird-words) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY]

[VERSATILE PERFORMANCE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/bard.html#_versatile-performance) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY] (Perform [Sweet Moves], Perform [Sharp Rhymes])  
At 2nd level, the bard can choose one type of Perform skill. He can use his bonus in that skill in place of his bonus in associated skills. Perform (Sweet Moves) can substitute for: Acrobatics, Fly. Perform (Sharp Rhymes) can substitute for: Bluff, Sense Motive.

[WELL-VERSED](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/bard.html#_well-versed) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
At 2nd level, the bard becomes resistant to the bardic performance of others, and to sonic effects in general.

[WORDSTRIKE [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spellcastingClassOptions/bard.html#_wordstrike) 1D4+7 (1/2 for living creatures)  
At 3rd level, the sound striker can direct bursts of sonic power in his words, damaging creatures or objects.

[LORE MASTER [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/bard.html#_lore-master) 1/DAY  
At 5th level, the bard becomes a master of lore and can perform any Knowledge skill check he has experience in with ease.

SPELLS  
LEVEL 0 [At Will] Save DC 13  
[DETECT MAGIC](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/detectMagic.html#_detect-magic), [MENDING](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/mending.html#_mending), [MESSAGE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/message.html#_message), [PRESTIDIGITATION](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/prestidigitation.html#_prestidigitation), [SIFT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/spells/sift.html#_sift), [UNWITTING ALLY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/spells/unwittingAlly.html#_unwitting-ally)

LEVEL 1 [5/Day] Save DC 14  
[CHORD OF SHARDS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spells/chordOfShards.html#_chord-of-shards), [CURE LIGHT WOUNDS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/cureLightWounds.html#_cure-light-wounds), [MOMENT OF GREATNESS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/spells/momentOfGreatness.html#_moment-of-greatness), [TIMELY INSPIRATION](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/spells/timelyInspiration.html#_timely-inspiration), [GREASE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/grease.html#grease)

LEVEL 2 [4/Day] Save DC 16  
[ALLEGRO](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spells/allegro.html#_allegro), [BLADED DASH](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/all-spells/b/bladed-dash), [MASTERWORK TRANSFORMATION](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spells/masterworkTransformation.html#_masterwork-transformation), [SHATTER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/shatter.html#_shatter)

LEVEL 3 [2/Day] Save DC 17  
[MARTIAL MARIONETTE](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/all-spells/m/martial-marionette), [SEE INVISIBILITY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/seeInvisibility.html#see-invisibility)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I HATE THESE CHAPTERS SO MUCH
> 
> *repeatedly bangs head against table*


	104. -- WORLD MAP --

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Hero point votes:**  
>  John 1
> 
>  **Current Hero Points:**  
>  John 3/5, **Rose 5/5, Dave 3/3, Jade 3/3**  
>  Karkat 4/5, **Gamzee 3/3, Terezi 5/5**  
>  **Sollux 3/3, Aradia 3/3, Kanaya 5/5**  
>  Jane 4/5, Jake 3/5, **Roxy 3/3, Dirk 3/3**

[ ](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/iwtw46qgdzmddj3/LODAD%20Material%20Plane%20Map%20Coloured.png?dl=0)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WHAT? TWO FILLER CHAPTERS IN A ROW?? WHAT MADNESS IS THIS???
> 
> Well, basically, I went to a family wedding last weekend, and I was knackered, so you get a cool world map instead of crappy writing. Usual service should resume next update. :)
> 
> Besides, it is clearly obligatory for all shitty fantasy stories to have a pretentious and culturally myopic map attached to them! Why, any fantasy story lacking such a thing could hardly be said to be a proper fantasy story at all!
> 
> *falls asleep*


	105. ==> Aradia: Three Words. Sea Serpent Pirates.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Hero point votes:**  
>  John 1  
> Karkat 1
> 
>  **Current Hero Points:**  
>  John 3/5, **Rose 5/5, Dave 3/3, Jade 3/3**  
>  Karkat 4/5, **Gamzee 3/3, Terezi 5/5**  
>  **Sollux 3/3, Aradia 3/3, Kanaya 5/5**  
>  Jane 4/5, Jake 3/5, **Roxy 3/3, Dirk 3/3**

## ==> Aradia: Three Words. Sea Serpent Pirates.

You wake with the memory of danger lurking in your mind and the smell of salt in your nostrils. Around you the hull of the ship creaks, lit by the dim golden glow of lanterns. It's dark in the hold, dark enough for you to be seeing in the sharp-edged black-and-white that feels more right to you than glittering sunshine, but since the room is only _mostly_ full you guess it must be daytime.

Someone without darkvision would have trouble navigating in here, between the press of bodies. You dance between the scattered blankets and belongings, humming to yourself.

“Excuse me! Coming through! Oops, mind your fingers!”

The sun hurts your eyes when you push open the hatch, light stabbing into your eyes like spears. It's worth it for the fresh air that washes over you, carrying away the stench of unwashed people and seasickness. You close your eyes and breathe deeply, then scramble up onto deck in search of your remaining companion.

You find Jake right where you left him, dangling over the rail on the port side. His feet are still tangled in his blanket and his hair is even more wayward than usual. You think the salt is getting into it.

“Hi there!” you say, bounding up to him. He turns and gives you a dazzling grin.

“What ho,” he says. His heartiness is a little forced, but the fondness is genuine. “Up before noon? Are you quite sure you're not coming down with something untoward?”

You laugh. “You'd better hope not! In close quarters like this, everyone could catch it.” You lean in towards him and add, in a stage whisper: “We could all die of plague before we reach port!”

His smile wavers a little. “Well, then, I'm jolly glad that you seem to be in good health.”

You grin back at him, and flop over the railing. It's a bright day, but now that you're used to the dazzle it's pretty, too. The sky is an endless blue bowl, arcing down to meet the greenish waves. You know that they must be swelling a lot, you can even feel it under your feet, but from up here they look almost small. White spray breaks against the hull and you feel it kissing your face.

“So what's the occasion?” Jake asks.

You sigh. “I had another dream,” you say, wrinkling your nose. “The weird sort.”

“Ah, the portentous ones.” Jake bumps his shoulder gently into your own. “Anything you want to get off your chest? Not that I'm really the chap for all this magic and mysticism, but I'll pummel the old grey matter into shape for a friend.”

“That's alright,” you say. “It's not like Sollux would have been much use either!”

Predictably enough, he blushes. “Oh, no! I wasn't trying to suggest that I was trying to take the place of... that is, I just thought it would be the decent thing... oh, bother it all!”

He pouts in the face of your giggles, and it takes you several moments to regain the power of speech.

“They were both there,” you tell him, the mirth fading but not vanishing. Here, under the very real sun and over the very real waves, it's hard to be shaken by dreams and portents. “I found the boy waiting at the edge of a cliff, and then the girl joined us. She said she followed the future there, and he said that it was the end of the world.”

“End as in edge, or end as in destruction?”

“Both, I think?” You frown, trying to recall increasingly fuzzy details. “It was bad- I understood more at the time, but you know how dreams are. Everything makes sense when you're asleep and then you wake up and it's just nonsense!” You push off from the edge and smile, remembering the good news. “Anyway, they're going to meet up, so maybe next time they'll have something more useful to say!”

“Well, we can certainly hope so.” He smiles at you. His teeth are big and blunt and shockingly white; you think some alchemy is involved.

_“White waters starboard!”_

The shout comes from up in the rigging, and before the young seamen has finished speaking the deck bursts into activity. Crew members who were idling jump to their feet, and those who were working drop the chores they were passing time with. You and Jake rush across the deck, and you are almost knocked overboard by a large, burly aasimar man, who curses at you.

“What are you doing up here?” he snaps. “Get back below deck!”

He doesn't stay put to enforce his order, or for you to point out that Jake has been sleeping up here. Your view of the ocean ahead is blocked by a wall of backs, and even on tip-toes all you can see is the captain at the prow, staring out to sea through a pricey-looking spyglass. Jake is bouncing around beside you, up on tip-toes and with his nose in the air.

“What is it?” you ask.

“Can't see,” he says. Reaching out, he taps the nearest seaman- who is actually a sea-woman- on the shoulder. “Terribly sorry, Kara old girl, but I don't suppose you could fill a fellow in on what all the hullabaloo is?”

The sailor turns around. She's Tuatha, dark-skinned and large-eyed, and her mouth is a thin, hard line. “White water,” she says. “Means there's something close to the surface.”

You think about that, and frown, puzzled. “All the way out here? Aren't we in deep water?”

“Blue water,” says the sailor, nodding. “But there's still things that can come close to the surface. Rocks, reefs...”

There is a loud, wet shattering sound that you realise after a moment is a very, very loud splash. Over the heads of the sailors rises a wide column of luminescent pink-blue flesh, an oily sheen shimmering like gemstones as a vast appendage rises up... and up, and up. You stare, dumbstruck, as the tentacle arcs higher than the very top of the mast; around you there are screams and whispered prayers. Next to you, Jake gulps, and looks very pale under the brown tan of his skin.

“...or sea monsters,” says the sailor, sounding slightly faint.

From the prow of the boat, a horn blows. “ALL HANDS ON DECK!” bellows the captain. “MAN THE OARS! FULL SAILS!”

His voice is drowned out by a noise that sounds vaguely like a foghorn, if a foghorn could do an impression of a screech owl. You and everyone else on the ship clap your hands to your ears. They're not bleeding, and that comes as a surprise.

“Look!” Jake shouts, and you follow his pointing finger to see a small shape bobbing in the sea alongside a second rising tentacle. It's hard to make out details, as far away as you are, but you catch the sun glinting off gold, and green hair spreading in the water.

Then the tentacle the size of a tower rises out of the waves, water cascading from it in rivers.

 _“OARS!”_ the captain screams, as the tail descends. You grab for the ship's rail just as it hits the water, and there's just time to be afraid before the wave slams into the side of the ship. Your arms burn with sudden effort as you fight not to tumble; water crashes down over you and for a moment you lose sight of everything in the rush of foggy white and salt. Then the vessel lurches back into place and you're still there, clinging to the rail, Jake beside you. Shouts from the port side tell you not everyone was so lucky.

Staggering back to your feet, you can see new forms rising up from the water alongside the waving tentacles. Glittering blue-green serpents, looking almost dainty alongside their cephalopod outrider, crest out of the waves and hiss with mouths full of sharp, conical razors. Their frills fluff up beautifully, framing the green-haired men and women riding on their backs. You can catch flashes of red in amongst the ocean colours, hats and scarves and bandannas.

“MERROW!” someone bellows, and slowly, too slowly, the ship begins to creak around.

One of the sea serpents opens its mouth and lets out the same bone-chilling cry that you heard earlier. You moan and manage to keep hold of the rail as the tentacles push the water again, sending your ship lurching drunkenly through the waves. The crew are all shouting at one another, and you can hear screams from down below. When you look up, you can't see the captain any more.

You think you might be in a lot of trouble.

“Damn it!”

You look around to see Jake hunting through his belt with increasingly frantic fingers. “It's wet,” he says, only partly to you. “That bloody wave soaked all my bloody powder!”

It hadn't even occurred to you to try and fight back. The creatures attacking seem more like a force of nature than beasts- but beasts is exactly what they are, and with new determination you grab the rail with both hands and pull yourself to your feet.

“Aradia!” Jake tries to pull you back down, and you ignore him. You're not sure if you have anything that can affect such a huge creature, but the riders directing them are much smaller, and you have to at least try...

Letting go of the railing, you raise your hands, and pull for the power in your blood.

Your voice rings like crystal over the cacophony of crashing waves and terrified mortal voices. Time spins around you, the lines between life and death and sleeping and waking all blurring together, and the magic that you were born to wield screams out of you in a new shape.

_Stop._

_Repeat._

Nothing happens, except for the people on the necks of the sea serpents start to fling spears. You see sailors stagger and fall; near you, one man goes over the side with a wet gurgle. More tentacles rise up out of the water; the boat is surrounded now, caught between the fingers of a grip that has yet to tighten. You just need a little more _time!_

_Stop._

_Repeat._

This time it slots into place. This time you feel the flow of the world itself halt and turn back at your command. This time, for an instant, you are time.

The tentacles stop, retreat, and then splash up out of the water again, waving in the exact same patterns as before.

Jake's eyes go wide, and then he jumps to his feet. “GET US OUT OF HERE!” he yells, and you knew he was boisterous, but those are some lungs! It's enough to cut through the panic and get people back on task. He nods to you and streaks off towards the prow of the ship, where the captain was last seen. You turn away; you have other work to do.

The squid monster is disabled, but the sea serpents are still coming; you count six of them, all smaller than you would have expected a sea serpent to be but plenty big enough. They'll be dangerous when they get closer, but for now the people flinging spears from their backs are a way bigger problem. You raise your hands again, and this time you don't have to dig so deep. The spell that comes to you feels almost ordinary, after that last one.

Your voice drops down low, becomes a hollow hum, a chant in words that you don't know. Mist rises from the ocean, ghastly pale and full of writhing, unreal shadows. It engulfs two of the oncoming serpents and their riders, swallowing them up as they charge the ship down. You hear an elven scream from within the mist, and turn to cast again. The second phantasmal fog only catches one of your foes, but the scream this time is serpentine, and your ship is gaining ground all the time.

That's when you feel a shiver run through you, and one of the tentacles judders out of the pattern.

The water swells as a great, bulbous eye rises from the depths. You can hear the first mate bellowing orders, hoarse with fear, and you draw in a deep breath and _scream._

The spell fires like a cannon, dragging not only your voice but a thousand others with it. It strikes the squid hard, and you stagger as the power leaves you. Your heart sinks when the monster doesn't even slow down. Then you hear a shout behind you and turn to see the sail billowing in the wind. A woman on the deck, who you vaguely recognise as one of your fellow refugees, is moving her hands in complex patterns. You can feel the wind dancing through her fingers.

You turn back to the ocean and start to throw up more barriers of mist, blocking the aim of the pursuers. You can't stop them from pursuing, through, and as the nose of one of the serpents breaks through the mist you hear its rider crying out in victory. More follow it into the clear waters and people run to the sides of the ship, crossbows loaded and harpoons ready. The other refugees stand with you here, armed with oars and spells and guts. You raise your finger ready to draw on your depleted magic.

Then there's a very familiar yell from above. You look up just in time to see Jake swing past overhead, one hand clinging to a rope and the other clutching a vicious-looking barbed spear. At the apex of the swing he lets go and plummets towards the nearest serpent and its extremely confused-looking rider.

“JAKE!” you yell, not sure if you're laughing or panicking. It looks amazing, but you _know_ he hasn't thought this through, and Sollux would never have-

You cut off that thought because Jake is _fencing with a seadwelling pirate_ on the back of a _baby sea serpent_ and of all the things you should be feeling right now sad is not one of them.

His reckless bravado inspires everyone else, at least. Your shipmates open fire in an impressive salvo, and nobody notices as you abandon your station and run to the stern, where the distance between you and Jake is rapidly growing.

“JAKE!” you yell again, but he is extremely occupied. The merrow kicks him in the midriff and he tumbles off the back of the serpent, dropping the spear before he hits the water. The serpent rears and opens its mouth. For an instant, you stop breathing.

With a sharp shout the merrow reins her mount in. You start to cast about for a rope to lower, even through Jake is much too far away to grab it, but then a tentacle emerges from the waves and seizes him around the waist.

“Get off me!” you can hear him yelling, distantly. “Do you hear me, you tentacular blackguard? Unhand me this minute!”

The tentacle seems unwilling to comply with this request, given how lovingly the tip of it caresses his shoulder. The merrow watches with an almost predatory interest, then raises a large sea-shell to her lips and blows it like a horn.

Cheers go up from the ship as the pursuers break away. You do not join in, watching in dismay as Jake, still struggling and shouting, becomes a smaller and smaller speck. Then you make a decision: you are done leaving people behind!

One of the crew sees you clamber up onto the railing. He just has time to shout “Hey!” before you push off into empty air, and let yourself fall into the ocean.

### Suggestions Used:

 _1JakoftheMoon1 -_ Boats: Three words. Sea Serpent Pirates.

 _Kombo -_ Shit: Hit the fan for someone somewhere

 _1JakoftheMoon1 -_ Jake: rope swing across the deck during a heated battle.

 _bookdragon5 -_ Jake == > Encounter some friendly tentacles. Very, VERY friendly tentacles. Perhaps overly friendly. (WHY THE BLOODY BLUE BLAZES DOES EVERYTHING WANT TO MATE WITH YOU!?!?!)

 _ttd0000 -_ Jake: Seduce an enemy to your side. Bonus points if you do it without trying.

[System Notes](http://celynbrum.tumblr.com/post/104577575220/lodad-system-notes-chapter-105)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sea Serpent Pirates was an amazing suggestion, and really, how could I pass up a chance for a giant squid?
> 
> Honestly, these two. They act just like actual PCs, and it is scary. Jake and Aradia are gonna have _such adventures_ , guys, you don't even know.


	106. ==>  Kanaya: Have A Productive Conversation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Hero point votes:**  
>  Jake 2  
> John 1  
> Karkat 1
> 
>  **Current Hero Points:**  
>  John 3/5, **Rose 5/5, Dave 3/3, Jade 3/3**  
>  Karkat 4/5, **Gamzee 3/3, Terezi 5/5**  
>  **Sollux 3/3, Aradia 3/3, Kanaya 5/5**  
>  Jane 4/5, Jake 3/5, **Roxy 3/3, Dirk 3/3**

## ==> Kanaya: Have A Productive Conversation

“I'm telling you, he was right there with me when I went into trance.” Karkat is pacing the floor, all but tearing his hair out. “I thought he'd be right behind me. Fuck, when I catch that skull-cracked paint-sniffing slug-humping idiot I'm going to tie him to a fucking stake so he can't wander off. Seriously, it's like trying to watch a child, if the child kept trying to eat _raw sewage.”_

Terezi snickers. You give her a disapproving frown. Gamzee certainly isn't the most... _reassuring_ of companions, but he is a companion nonetheless, and his disappearance is cause for concern.

The door opens and Tamlin comes running into Karkat's chambers. “I asked around,” he says, panting a little to catch his breath. “Word is that there was some sort of procession in the streets last night. It woke a lot of people up.” He leans in closer, his voice dropping. “Bard worshippers.”

None of you bother to ask how Gamzee would have known of such a thing. If there is one talent your wayward associate possesses, it is unique powers of serendipity. Karkat is out of the door before Tamlin has even finished speaking; you take a moment to grab your sabre before following.

Nobody in the Guild takes note of your group as you hurry to the door. The sight of heavily armed groups in a hurry is daily business around here, and a few greetings are all you receive before making it out onto the rain-drenched streets of the city. The grey skies overhead mute the light to a more comfortable level, but you could do without the damp air. There was no rain in Golgesi, and pools and puddles were the domain of undeveloped and undesirable caves.

“Which way?” Karkat asks.

“Perhaps Terezi should take the lead,” you suggest. “After all, investigation is what she was trained for.”

“An excellent proposition,” says Terezi, grinning again. You know that she's excited to lead this hunt, and step aside to let her take the pole position. “Tamlin, whereabouts did the witnesses describe seeing this procession?”

“In the old town,” says Tamlin, pointing down a nearby alley. “Not too far from here.”

You hurry off. Terezi leads the way in long, brisk strides, and Karkat hurries along behind her. You take the rearguard, and so you are the one who notices how Tamlin wraps his fingers over his godmark and glances skyward.

 _Interesting._ You know, of course, that he is keeping secrets. You wonder just how close he is to his patron; none of you have managed to make contact, except possibly Gamzee, and you for one have put years of effort into such an endeavour. You think you perhaps should expect some secrets from someone chosen by the god of masks and secrets, but you know from bitter experience that secrets within a band of adventurers are never beneficial in the long run.

Perhaps you should discuss this with Terezi. Later.

The streets of the old town are narrower and more winding than those of the rest of Alftor. The buildings lean in over one another in comforting arches, and you think you can understand why Gamzee would be drawn to such a place. Karkat casts dark looks around as you travel, glaring into alleyways and and at sleeping bundles against the sides of buildings.

“Is something the matter?” you ask him, keeping your voice low.

For a moment you think he's not going to answer you, but then he shivers, a whole-body tremor that is gone in an instant. “It just reminds me of home,” he says, just as softly. It takes you a moment to understand, but when you do you lay a hand on his shoulder. He shrugs it off, and shrinks in on himself a little more.

“It was around here,” says Tamlin. You look around at a maze of streets which, if you are honest, do not seem appreciably different to the rest of the area.

“Great, so now what?” asks Karkat, scowling. “Do we just stand in the middle of the road and yell _hey, did anyone see the seesaw circus asshole train go past?”_

“Hmm.” Terezi closes her eyes and tilts her head back. Because you are looking for it, you see her nostrils flare for an instant. Then she opens her eyes again and cups her hands around her mouth. “Any witnesses to last night's carnival rumpus will be paid for information!”

 _“I didn't mean that seriously!”_ Karkat yelps, but you are already getting some interest from people in the vicinity. You step aside to let a thin-looking woman past; she doesn't seem at all nervous as she strides up to Terezi, but then you suppose these people do live within sight of the Guild building. In the same way that the Adventurer's Quarter of Porthaven accepts all comers, you suspect that here it is the weapon on your back and not the fact you are drow that is of note.

“I saw them!” she says, loudly enough for her voice to ring off the street. “Woke me up they did, with their racket.”

Terezi studies her with narrowed eyes for a moment, then smiles. “And which way did they go?”

“That way!” The woman points, finger quivering in anger. “And you go and give them a good seeing-to, ma'am, because that sort of business in the city makes folk uncomfortable, it does.”

“Oh, we will,” says Terezi, flipping the woman a silver coin before you can stop her.

“Oh, dear,” you say, as the woman retreats and the rest of the street closes in. A few people are already waving and shouting about what they saw last night.

“Don't worry, I've got this,” says Tamlin. He steps forwards and holds out his hands. “Sorry, everyone, but we need to keep on the trail. Thank you all for your help!” He pulls out a purse and starts counting copper coins into waiting hands.

Karkat tugs on your arm. “Come on,” he whispers, and the two of you follow Terezi as she marches off in the direction you've been given. After a few moments you hear footsteps behind you and Tamlin catches up.

The next half hour passes in much the same manner. Every so often Terezi stops and pays an informant for directions, and Tamlin calms the crowd down afterwards. Only once does someone try to lie to her. He doesn't even finish the sentence before Terezi coughs and says; “Karkat.” The conman lands on his back in the muck of the street, and you all walk calmly on.

“I'm not your fucking enforcer,” Karkat growls, once you're all far enough away that the man can't hear you.

“I know,” says Terezi. She's playing a silver coin across her fingers, and there's a sharpness to her that you haven't seen in a long time.

You take note of the buildings around you, and are surprised to find they look familiar. “Is it just me, or do we seem to be travelling in a circle?”

“No, we are,” says Terezi. “I expect that the lair of these nefarious clowns will be somewhere inside the circumference.” She stops and studies the frontages around you, scarred stone and wooden signs with paint so peeled you cannot tell what they once showed. Her eyes narrow, and you feel the tingle of magic emanate from her skin.

“There,” she says, pointing to a building that to you seems identical to its neighbours. You presume there is some minute detail unseen to you that she has picked up on; at any rate, you all trail after her as she approaches the door and raps smartly on the heavy wood.

There is a long pause. Just as Terezi raises her fist to knock again, the portal opens a crack, and an eye peers out.

“We don't want any and we don't got none,” the woman says. The end of Terezi's swordcane jams into the gap before she can slam the door shut.

“We are looking for a friend of ours,” she says. The smile on her face is less than friendly.

“He ain't here,” the woman says.

“We never said it was a he, genius,” says Karkat, leaning past Terezi. “Look, whatever he's done, I'm sorry, chances are an invasive fungus replaced whatever he used to think with years ago, _can we please just get in and see him?”_

The door rattles against the cane, then stops. “We don't want no trouble,” the voice says. “None at all.”

She sounds more threatening than fearful. You do not forsee this ending well, unless...

On a faint memory of a lesson taught by a priestess who you are now quite certain had no capability to see beyond the prejudices she had been drilled in since birth, you decide to take a chance. Leaning over to Karkat, you whisper; “Show her your mark.”

He looks at you as if you had suggested indecent exposure as a diplomatic solution, which you suppose may be apropos. _“What?”_

“There is a bond, of sorts, between Blood and Rage,” you whisper. “It may convince them we are friends.”

“Bonds aren't always good,” he mutters, but he thrusts out his left arm and wrestles his bracer aside. The symbol of Blood stained on his flesh is in view for less than a second, but the eye behind the door widens.

“Welcome, blessed brothers and sisters,” says the gatekeeper, and the door swings open to reveal someone who must have some orc blood in them somewhere, because elves do not easily grow to six feet tall and half as broad again. She smiles at you from behind a painted mask that you think you would find more alarming were it not for the time you have spent with Myoc and Gamzee.

“Where is Gamzee?” you ask. The woman points down the narrow corridor behind her.

“He's with the visiting brothers,” she says.

You nod, although unsure of what she means. “Thank you,” you say, and follow the rest of your party through the low doorway into the next room.

You are taken aback at the sight that greets you. You were expecting some manner of tavern, or small shrine, but it looks as though someone has knocked through the walls of two or three buildings to create a single large room. Certain aspects of it are certainly reminiscent of what you were expecting- there is a row of barrels in one corner, and a table next to it that holds what might be offerings, if offerings can be assumed to resemble the contents of a child's interesting things collection. But you weren't expecting it to be so large, or so fragrant, or so colourful.

You are still trying to get your bearings in amongst the hangings and cushions and smoky haze, but Karkat seems to have no such trouble. With little to no regard for the people underfoot, he sets out in a straight line towards the far side of the room.

“Sorry,” you say, as you step over people in his wake. “Excuse us. Coming through.”

Terezi cackles. You think she is enjoying this far too much.

You're almost on top of them before you recognise Gamzee, Gwiryn and Dyffyd. They're lounging, as is everyone in here, but on the tray in front of them is a particularly incongruous teapot and two-thirds of a large fruitcake.

Gamzee sees you coming, and his face lights up. “Hey, my main motherfuckers!” he says, waving. Karkat races over to him, and swipes at his head.

“What the fuck!” he yells, and the volume of the rest of the room seems to drop a little in comparison. “What in the name of the numerous and visceral hells that we are likely to spend our pitiless afterlives trudging through made you think it was okay to vanish off the face of the fucking world? You could have been dead, you rotskulled shitmonger!”

You settle down onto a cushion and nod to the bard and cleric you travelled with from the mountains. “It's good to see you again.”

“Likewise.” Dyffyd holds out a small plate to you. “Cake?”

“Thank you,” you say, and surreptitiously pass it along to Terezi to sniff at first. When she digs in with no signs of concern, you accept the second plate from Gwiryn.

“..all up and saved me, so ain't no cause to be getting a motherfucker's concern on over,” Gamzee is saying. Given that Karkat is almost scarlet with apoplexy, you suspect that there may be at least some cause for concern in what has been said.

“Mohan was here?” Terezi is tense and alert again.

“He still is, somewhere,” says Dyffyd. “But we should be safe here. This is a friendly enough cult, although they might stare a little much.”

You all immediately look around, and notice that you have become the centre of attention for the room.

“You got a fucking problem?” Karkat yells. There are some snickers from the crowd, and Gamzee tugs on his arm.

“Just be all up and ignoring it, best friend,” he says. “They just ain't never seen a motherfucker so motherfucking sweet as all what you're up and being, is what it is.”

Karkat growls something inaudible in response, but settles down and accepts some cake.

“So,” you say, deciding it is worth the attempt to steer this somewhat bizarre situation back to a calmer path. “What brings you here? We were not expecting to see you again for some time.” You don't add an “if ever” to that. Even if these people did not effectively worship Karkat, most adventurers tend to run into one another if they work in the same region. There are only so many reliable bases to return to.

Dyffyd sips his tea and glances over at Gwiryn. The bard clears his throat.

“After our last meeting, it was clear to us that this is a time of legend in the making,” he begins. “Great powers have set in motion the forces of fate, and by chance or fortune we have crossed paths with the agents of that destiny-”

Karkat glares at him. “Are you fucking trying to drag this out until we expire of old age, or do you just love the sound of your own noiseflap waving up and down?”

Gwiryn stares at him with such utter shock and dismay that Dyffyd coughs and takes over the tale. “Seeing so many god's marks on mortals convinced us that something big is coming. We've split up to take the message to the friendly cults, and to consult the elders about what it might mean.”

“Which elders?” Terezi asks.

“Any damn elders.” Dyffyd sighs. “This isn't exactly inside my usual clerical duties. Mostly I hit things and cure monster bites.”

“Right, because gods forbid a cleric should know anything about religion!” Karkat's scowl deepens. “Your god is a fucking idiot. He should have picked someone else to mark, because if I catch him he is going to learn what divine fucking fury really means.”

Both Gwiryn and Dyffyd look rather uncomfortable now.

“Karkat...” You reach for his shoulder, but he ignores you.

“I mean, I thought I hated him, but then I started to learn more about him and I found out that he's an even bigger asshole than I thought! You know what I'd do if I had the power of a god? I'd fucking fix all the insufferable crap and horror that's wrong with this world, is what! None of this pathetic flailing about like an upturned bug with the legs pulled off, non-interventionist oh-I-can't-have-real-temples _beetleshit!_ I'd smite the smug assholes who like to ruin lives and play puppetmaster, and then I'd smite the sadistic fuckers who work for them, and then I'd smite anyone who started taking my name in vain, and I'd have a whole temple full of raw fucking badasses to do my smiting for me when I was busy chilling the fuck out and enjoying being a fucking god!”

Gamzee reaches out for him. “Karkat, my brother...”

“The Knight of Blood is totally fucking spineless and if he ever shows his face in front of me I don't give a shit that I'm a mortal! The force of my hatred for him is more than powerful enough to match all the divine energy of the cosmos! I will burn the god out of him with the pure force of my loathing alone, and then I'll kick the shit out of his useless hide, I swear by the single unflagellated inch of hide on the Signless Sufferer!”

Silence reigns. Eventually, Dyffyd- who looks very, very pale- asks; “Who's the Signless Sufferer?”

“The Ancestor of Blood!” Karkat yells. “From the last... iteration...” His voice slows and quiets and you all watch, afraid to speak, as his hands close over his face and he starts to shiver.

“I hate this,” he says, his voice muffled. “I fucking hate this so fucking much.”

Gamzee wraps a long arm around him. Tamlin looks off into the distance, and Terezi watches the two of them intently. You glance over at Dyffyd, and recognise the look on his face. It's the same one you wore, when you were forced to confront the chasm between the goddess you believed in and the temple that stood around her.

“Karkat is a good person,” you say to him, quietly. You decide now is not the time to add the caveats you might otherwise append to that statement, and continue as he looks towards you. “I am not familiar with the Knight of Blood, but if the quality of the deity is shown in the person they choose, I think you will be able to reconcile this in the end.”

Dyffyd nods, and mouths a _thank you_ in your direction.

It is at this point that the first pie lands.

It is a particularly wet and fluffy pie, and it splats into the back of Gamzee's head with a wet little noise that is shockingly loud in the room. Both he and Karkat stiffen and turn into a wall of silent, fixed stares.

“Right, that is fucking _it!”_ Karkat yells. His hand twitches towards the sickle sheathed at his hip, but before he can draw it, cake flies past his ear into the crowd. You blink; you didn't even see Gamzee move, but there's already another slice in his hand.

“Who's gonna come and motherfucking get some?” he asks, grinning, and you duck just in time as the whole room erupts into messy, food-filled violence. Gamzee is gone in an instant and Karkat is just behind him. Terezi thoughtfully dips a finger into a puddle of pie filling and licks it.

“Lemon,” she says, and then; “Excuse me.” She vanishes into the brawling crowd, her progress marked by shrieks and yelping.

Tamlin looks at you, and you nod. “Go ahead,” you say, and he streaks off armed with cake in each hand. You turn back to your two contacts. “Will you be joining them?”

Dyffyd shakes his head and ducks a flying pie. “No. We have information to report; do you think you can pass it on? This could last all night.”

You wince at the thought, and nod. “Go ahead.”

“We've not had much chance to do research,” Dyffyd says. “I've sent missives to more experienced clerics, but they're still looking into the matter. What we have learned is noteworthy, though.” He leans forward. “Are you familiar with the Oracle of Light?”

You raise your eyebrows in surprise. “Rose? Yes, personally so. I met her and her sister some years ago, when I first left the deep caverns.”

“Then you know that she is marked?”

You nod. “Yes.” A thought occurs to you. “Her sister is, as well, in case you didn't know. Roxy bears the mark of Void, and I am aware it is not common knowledge. If it could remain that way...”

“Not a problem,” says Dyffyd, and Gwiryn places a hand over his heart. You all pause as a pair of struggling clowns stumble past, trying to spread icing in each other's hair.

“Word on the roads is, the Oracle vanished a couple of months ago. Some people say she was kidnapped, others that she left of her own accord, but since then Porthaven's been in siege mode. People who've been there say something is very rotten in the city; there are stories of people vanishing, undead walking the streets... it would be big news whatever else was happening, but given that she's marked, and the timing...”

You nod, ignoring the flutter of fear in your chest. Rose and Roxy are both very capable. You will not assume the worst. As for your friends in Porthaven, though... you make a note to learn more about this situation however you can. The adventurer in you longs to dive in, but something else warns you that this matter may be more delicate than that.

“What else?” you ask.

“Well, since some of your friends had the marks of more, ah, mainstream gods, we've been asking questions of those temples, too.” Dyffyd grins. “You know how many people answer questions asked by an adventurer, of course.”

You chuckle, although it's drowned out by some cheering behind you. You are certainly familiar with the phenomenon, which you believe is born from a desire to have the heavily armed pseudo-mercenaries gone as swiftly as possible combined with anxiety about whatever it is they are tracking down.

“The cults haven't been able to track it,” Dyffyd says. “No centralised authority, no cross-communication, we just don't have the records. But the temples and the churches, they all track omens and portents, and something happened twenty-three years ago.”

You cast your mind back, trying to remember. “The cylcis,” you say. “I remember. It's not precisely unusual, but it usually only comes once in a lifetime, and it fell on the day of my birth- oh!”

Dyffyd nods. “Every church. Every temple. On the same day.”

“But-” You break off, thinking. You don't know that Terezi doesn't know of something similar, and you are perfectly aware that the two of you share a birth date. The temples guard their secrets jealously. “I thought Karkat was younger,” you say, weakly. Now you are thinking on it, you cannot ever recall being told that. You simply assumed, because he was shorter and had less experience of the surface world.

You cover your face with one hand. “I am an idiot,” you say.

“Not as much as I am,” says Karkat, behind you. You look up to find him covered in cake and scowling. “That is the last time I follow that slughumping idiot into the smokebrain troupe's annual mess hall melee.” He flops down, dripping sticky, fruity goop beside you.

“Karkat,” you say, and hesitate for a moment. “Karkat, we believe that a marked person was born to each god twenty-three years ago, and it seems that others we have not yet met are in motion. Is there anything you see in your dreams that can shed light on this?”

“Right, because I've never fucking thought of that before!” Karkat scrabbles through his pack, then throws a battered book down in front of you. “It's all in there, what sense I can fucking make of it. Cryptic fucking bullshit with bonus life ruining powers!”

Gwiryn lifts the book almost reverentially. “May we read through this?” he asks. “Between us we may be able to make sense of some of the more obscure points. We are, after all, better versed in the Knight and his ways.”

“Knock yourselves out,” says Karkat. “But give it back before Terezi realises it's gone or she'll never let me fucking hear the end of it.”

You frown, tapping your fingers on the ground. “I think there is more to this than mere prophecy,” you say, choosing each word carefully. “Prophets are nothing new. There have always been clerics and oracles, and there have always been signs and portents, and there have always been great leaders and visionaries touched by the hand of their deity.”

Karkat mutters something about “more trouble than they're worth” and you politely ignore him.

“My point is that the gods have no shortage of ways to make themselves heard, if that is what they desire,” you say. “But they don't speak to us. They marked us and grant us power, but they have turned us loose in the world without so much as a word of what is expected of us.” You turn to Karkat. “If I were to venture a guess, your dreams are just that; dreams.”

Karkat practically snarls at you. “So what? I've been wasting my whole fucking life writing down what I thought was the words of an admittedly asshole god, and actually I've just been scribbling down a journal of the inside of my own thinkpan like a lovestruck adolescent merchant brat?”

You shake your head. “Not precisely,” you say. “Merely that I do not think your dreams are a deliberate or controlled communication. For whatever reason, your connection with the Knight of Blood involves access to knowledge that the rest of us do not receive, which is likely somehow related to his purview. For example, the Oracle of Light, who was marked by the Seer, can with effort achieve visions of the future.”

Dyffyd nods. “One of the purviews of the Knight is memory. He's the god who carries the past on his shoulders.”

Karkat frowns. “So, what? Instead of garbled god-chatter, I'm getting accidental god-memories?”

“It seems plausible,” you say. “Confused and scrambled, by the manner of your receiving.”

Karkat blows out a sigh. “Well, that's just fucking great. Might explain a few things, though-”

“Karkat!” Terezi bounds over. There is barely a crumb of food on her; you cannot help but wonder whether she dodged it all, or whether she licked herself clean afterwards. “There is dancing! Come on!”

“I don't fucking dance,” says Karkat, resisting her attempts to pull him upright. Then he flails as she leans down. “No! No, don't you fucking dare, don't you even think about-”

Her tongue darts out and cleans a stripe of food off his cheek.

“-licking me,” he finishes.

“Dance and I won't,” she says, still grinning as she licks another stripe clean.

“This is extortion,” says Karkat, getting to his feet and backing away. “And harassment. That's a fucking crime here, you know; you can't just come over here and molest me to make me do what you want, I have rights fuckface-”

Terezi leans in and kisses him full on the lips.

Karkat is perhaps even more startled than you are. You watch, unable to articulate your shock, as he slowly relaxes and, not without caution, returns the kiss.

Terezi steps back and licks her lips. “Mmm. Raspberry ripple.”

Karkat goes pale. “I- this- I'm not-”

If you didn't know Terezi so well, you wouldn't have recognised the flicker of alarm in her eyes. Suddenly you are angry; very, very angry at the ridiculous, messed-up city that you come from, because Terezi doesn't know how to be honest and Karkat doesn't know how to trust, and you are coming to see them both as kin.

You don't realise what you're doing until you're standing and have each of them by the hand. “Let's go dance,” you say, and neither of them argues as you lead them out to the square of people gathering in the centre of the room. The music is unfamiliar to you, but you quickly pick up the steps- an odd little sequence of hand placement, followed by a clap and a turn.

Tomorrow, there will be questions and danger and things to fear. But tonight, all is well with the world, and you will cling to that.

### Suggestions Used

 _Ryo Hoshi (Hoshi_Ryo) -_ Gamzee: Have a perfectly miraculous time, involving absolutely no intoxicants whatsoever and delicious tea  & cake offered by a cleric.

 _A. Thomas -_ Group: Be warned about the stares.

 _TheBookwormBakery -_ Anyone: Be warned about the stairs (stares?), promptly get into stair/stare-related trouble.

 _Slyjinks -_ Karkat: Cause a crisis of faith in someone

 _OwlFlight -_ Karkat: Swear by the Signless Sufferer - when asked who he is, thoughtlessly respond that he's the Knight of Blood's father, and then freak out because 1) *How did you know that* and 2) *The Knight of Blood had a *Father*?

 _windyLindy -_ Cult of the Bard: Test Gamzee's affiliation to your god. With pies.

 _h -_ karkat: misunderstand

 _Red -_ Anyone: Accidentally/Initially start a food fight. Optionally do so to avoid a threat or tension.

 _Musius -_ Kanaya: Be surprised Karkat's the same age as you. You just felt he was younger somehow, and the Shanties could only be blamed for so much...

 _Iblardora –_ Karkat: Regret this decision immediately

 _Ailavyn_Siniyash -_ Kanaya and Karkat (and anyone else you want to add): have a productive conversation about god-marks and Karkat's dreams

 _1JakoftheMoon1 -_ Terezi: Do a little dance. Shed a little blood. Get down tonight!

 _will408914 -_ Terezi: Make Karkat do a song-and-dance routine.

 _TomWellshaw -_ Terezi: Just kiss Karkat already. Justice knows he isn't going to get around to it himself any time soon.

 _HUNRonin -_ Any group: Do the Macarena.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hooray! The plot thickens!
> 
> So, as usual, I'm taking time off writing LODAD over Christmas and my birthday, which means skipping the next update. This fic will return on Sunday 18th January, which seems like a long time but will just fly by!
> 
> I would like to thank you all for another year of readership, and I am very glad of all your enthusiasm and kindness! I have been blessed with the best readers, and this story wouldn't be what it is without you. A Merry Christmas (or appropriate substitute greeting of your choice) to all, and a Happy New Year as well! May you all have a jolly time and may your wishes come true! :)


	107. ==> Jane: Return

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Hero point votes:**  
>  Jake 4  
> John 1  
> Karkat 1
> 
> **Current Hero Points:**  
>  John 3/5, ~~Rose 5/5, Dave 3/3, Jade 3/3~~  
>  Karkat 4/5, ~~Gamzee 3/3, Terezi 5/5~~  
>  ~~Sollux 3/3, Aradia 3/3, Kanaya 5/5~~  
>  Jane 4/5, Jake 3/5, ~~Roxy 3/3, Dirk 3/3~~

## ==> Jane: Return

It's a quiet night, but you're not so certain that's a good thing.

You aren't too clear on what happened before your comrades managed to rescue you from the perfidious influence of the mask. After the initial rush of victory wore off, everyone ran out of energy at once; you tried to get some answers, but when it became obvious that you wouldn't be getting any sense out of anyone you suggested making camp for the night instead. The others went along with it, building up the fire and putting bedrolls straight on the ground, not even bothering with tents. You'll be regretting that choice in the morning, fair weather or no, but even Roxy's smile looked brittle around the edges.

You started sleeping separately, like usual, but then John scooted closer to you and Roxy scooted closer to Rose and somehow you've all ended up in one large tangle of limbs and blankets. It should be comforting. It _would_ be comforting, except...

Sleep won't come. You're exhausted, your body drained and damaged from the magic that was using it, and your mind just won't stop working. You lie back and stare up at the stars, distant and cold. There are thoughts and ideas swirling, and you aren't sure which are true and which are lies. There had been a place, dark and full of things you haven't the slightest intention of attempting to name.

“I wasn't expecting to sea you here! This shore is a surprise!”

You remember a girl, or perhaps a woman? Your memories aren't clear enough to know, or maybe she was sometimes one and sometimes the other. You are sure that there was someone else, and that when she came, things changed. The feeling you get when you think about her is akin to memories of days spent playing by the ocean, picking your way along the beach with John and throwing pebbles into the waves. It's certainly preferable to a creeping sense of unnamed horror, so you try to focus in on it.

_“It's been too long. Whale, I suppose that was to be expected- reely, what were you thinking?!?”_

You'd... got cross? You think you remember being huffy about something. Scolding. She was scolding you, and you were in no mood for that sort of cheek! There's a ghost of pressure across your chest, just under your breasts, where you might have crossed your arms and sniffed in irritation.

Part of you is remembering, with some trepidation, how your sense of self-preservation took a vacation when you faced Regulus. You have the nasty suspicion that you might have done something of the same ilk this time, although at least the girl you half-remember had seemed as amused by it as the Lunar Lord.

_“Oh, don't be such a silly squid! It's only bekoise I'm worried aboat you; I've missed chatting to my favourite Aspect-buddy!”_

You have no idea what she was talking about, but there's a memory. One of those times, playing on the beach with John, you saw something out in the ocean. Someone, further out than the fishing boats. They were watching you. You never told anybody, because honestly, the very idea is preposterous, but _they were watching you._

You roll over in the pile, in the vain hope that a more comfortable position might help you get some sleep. The movement stirs Roxy into shifting, too, and you end up with a hand on your butt. You consider caring and then let it slide. She's asleep and you're not looking for a fight.

What you _want_ is to forget the nightmares, lurking behind the dreams of merrows and merpeople. What you _want_ is for all the time you spent trapped in that netherworld to have been nothing but a nightmare, instead of a way to keep you trapped while your body was the puppet of dark forces. Forces that hurt your friends, your family. You don't remember what happened, and there's no question in your mind that it's a blessing, but you are quite frankly not enjoying the ideas your imagination supplies in the stead of memories.

Maybe it does help, having everyone else so close. It makes everything more real. You look up at the stars again, and sigh. This is going to be a long night.

Roxy mumbles in her sleep and her fingers flex. You politely reach around and remove her hand to a more socially acceptable grip on your waist. There's letting it slide and then there's putting up with unconscious groping. You have no intention of doing the latter.

There are footsteps approaching. Alarm grips you and you shoot upright, scattering friends left and right and setting off more than a few grumbles as people are rudely awakened. Your panic fades as you recognise the silhouette against the lightening sky.

“Dave?” You struggle out of the pile. “What on earth are you doing up?”

“Dave?” John's head pokes up. “Hey, buddy, weren't you in here with the rest of us?”

“Got up for a piss,” says Dave. His voice sounds odd. Beside you, Dirk makes an incoherent noise and rolls over, hiding his face. Frowning, you get to your feet and walk over to your companion. Dave watches you approach. His face is as stony as ever, but in the moonlight his eyes look puffy behind his mask.

You suppose you aren't the only one who couldn't sleep.

“This is a right old to-do, isn't it?” you say, turning away and taking a seat by the embers of the campfire. “I expect we're all a mite upset.”

Dave snorts. “Me? Nah. I'm stoic like some sorta badass fuckin' philosopher, living up a pole in a desert and eating bugs in between kicking ass on entire armies of wailing babies that think they're warriors. I don't get upset.” He drops down next to you. He's not quite touching you, but he's close enough that you can lean slightly and press your arm alongside his in a not-quite-gesture of comfort.

There's a pause, and then Rose speaks. “I will admit it is disconcerting to learn that I am the mortal form of the Goddess I always believed to be guiding my steps. It raises questions whose answers concern me.”

“Really?” John shuffles into a sitting position. His hair is hanging over his face, and part of you notes that it's really looking rather long and shaggy. You've been out in the wilderness so long that you're all starting to look a little uncivilised. “I don't get it. This is a good thing, right? We have to save the world, and now we know that we're gods, so that should be way easier! Plus, all of us meeting like this is probably destiny or something.”

“'S true,” says Roxy, propping herself up on her elbows. You frown. Surely she wasn't awake when her hand...? “I mean, it sorta had to be anyway, didn't it?” She reaches out and pets Frigglish, who purrs. “Hey, I wonder if Friggles is a magic god-cat or something?”

“I doubt it,” you say, perhaps a little too tersely.

Another pause. “Is something else the matter?” asks Rose.

You shrug, but it's John who answers. “Well, I mean, gods or not, we did sorta get possessed by an evil mask and attack Dave and Roxy. Which we would never have done normally, you know. I mean, of course you know, duh, you were there too. But still, it sucks, and it's creepy, because you never know when something else might do the same thing, and it was dark, and...” he trails off, perhaps noticing as the rest of you have that his voice was getting alarmingly loud and high. “I mean, it wasn't a whole lot of fun.”

He's staring off into space. You feel rather like doing that yourself. Something is tickling at the back of your thoughts, memories that you don't want to let in.

Rose sighs. “It does seem particularly unfair that being gods in mortal form does not afford us protection from such things. I am not precisely at peace with it myself.” She reaches out for John, and he twitches away- just for an instant, but it does happen. Rose pulls her hand back, and her eyes narrow.

“The most important thing, I think, is that we recognise this is not a circumstance most have to face, and that we can turn to one another for aid, even if it is only to speak of what has happened.” Her eyes move to Dave. “We are under no obligation to appear unaffected.”

You look again at Dave. He doesn't move. Really, really doesn't move, not even a twitch. Shivering, you curl up, wrapping your arms around your knees. You feel cold, even though the embers are _right there._

“How much do you know about the Bard of Rage?” asks Dirk, proving your assumption that he was awake as the rest of you and was just avoiding having to participate in the emotional talk.

“One of the Infernal Gods,” says Rose. “And not a particularly trustworthy one, as I recall. Not that any of the Infernal Gods are kindly, but unpredictability is in his nature as it is not in any other's. There are a few tales of the Seer in which he features, most usually as an unreliable source of information on dark forces, or as a foe that may choose to turn ally if it suits him.” She clears her throat. “I assume this is to do with the mask?”

“Probly,” says Roxy. “From what I learned, making people go all murdercrazy is his whole deal.”

“Not all of it,” says Dirk. “I ain't no theologian, but we've run into orc tribes while crossing the plains before. They're not all homicidal on the drop of a copper, so we got some chances to get up close and personal with just how fucking messed-up the whole deal is.”

He clears his throat, and you hear the sound like a drum start up. It takes you a moment to realise that it's Dave, staring out towards the rising sun and providing a beat for his brother.

_“Children of respite, born to prosperity_   
_Ally with the terse on the moon of austerity_   
_Out of the sky fall the stars to the cradle_   
_A sign to ascend for all those who are able_   
_World goes on spinnin' to a foretold destruction_   
_Only the chosen to live through the ruction_   
_Time-space, every place, seeds in the starlight_   
_Break down the deadlock and enter the last fight_

_Truth tell your best is null, void and broken_   
_Choice is a joke and the punchline ain't spoken_   
_Stick to your path but fate states you can't win_   
_Gods of a new age to witness the next in_   
_You burn in the light but outside is darkness_   
_You got all the power but the fact is you're powerless_   
_Messianic answers, motherfuckin' all dead_   
_Prophets are the whispers, silent in the clear head_

_Worlds are betrayers, blasphemed in the making_   
_Laugh in the face of the lies they are waking_   
_Ain't no appeal, no remorse to be had_   
_Justification is made to be mad.”_

“Wow,” says Roxy, as Dave's accompaniment fades away. “That is like, super creepy.”

“Apocalyptic, even,” says Rose. You shiver, and not because of the chill morning air.

“It's a fuckin' nursery rhyme,” says Dave. “That is the shit they tell little kids when they tuck them in at night. You do not wanna hear the adult stuff.”

John pulls a face. You ignore him. “What does it _mean?”_ you ask, although truthfully, you're not sure you want to know.

“It means the whole religion is batshit in the belfry,” says Dirk. “Don't get me wrong, I'm all for comparative religion and that shit, but I am being so fucking literal here it may actually injure me.”

Roxy pats his hand. “Appreciate it,” she says.

Dirk nods. “You ask me? The Bard is unpredictable because he's angry. Not exactly shocking, holy shit, he's the Bard of Rage, what emotion could he possibly be feeling? But you listen to his followers, he's seriously pissed off at everything, starting with existence itself and working out from there. He's in it to break shit and laugh at the consequences. And as you may have noticed, it's a seriously fatalistic religion- the implication I picked up is that, according to the Bard, free will is at best entirely inconsequential and more likely a complete illusion. And that applies to gods as much as mortals.”

There's a pause as you all digest this.

“He sounds like such a butt,” says John. You shove your brother in the shoulder.

“John!”

“What? He does!” John jumps to his feet and starts pacing. “Come on, guys! Think! If we're the gods, and we're down here being all mortal and stuff, then where are the other gods? I mean, we've basically got the whole Celestial pantheon accounted for here, but what about the Bard and all the other creepy evil guys? What if they're still up there? Or down there, or wherever they go.”

You gasp. “You think they are the ones behind this? Those... those utter bastards!”

Dirk shrugs. “Seems possible.”

“Perhaps.” Rose is frowning. “But I wonder...”

Roxy jabs her in the side with a finger. “Spill it!”

“Later,” says Rose. “I am not entirely sure in my recollections, and this is an important matter.”

You sigh and stand, brushing grass off your skirt. You are stiff to the bone; you knew you'd regret the sleeping arrangements. “As it seems none of us will be returning to sleep, shall we strike camp and press on?”

“Good thinking,” says Dirk. “It should only be half a day's walk to Alftor.”

Striking camp doesn't take as long as usual, since you all did so much less setting up last night, and before long you are trudging across the open plains on feet that are still unfortunately sore. You spare a moment to hope that Maplehoof will track you down, with Dirk and Dave's caravan. Logically it seems doubtful, but part of you recalls the interesting side-effects of meeting Regulus on your primary mode of transportation.

“Y'know, I think we are all forgetting the most important question of all,” says Roxy, after a quarter-hour of silent, thoughtful walking. She waits until everyone is looking her way, then grins and points one finger at Dave and one at John. “Which weapon is weirder, the talking sword or the steaming hammer?”

“Hey!” says John.

“Caliburn is the shit,” says Dave. “I am insulted you could think otherwise.”

“I'd call it a really fuckin' good question,” says Dirk. His head tilts thoughtfully. “Depends on whether we're talking about general weirdness or weirdness compared to other weapons of the same type. Because the whole steaming iron-hammer thing is really fuckin' weird, but who makes a magic sword deliberately weak?”

“Who are you calling weak, flesh bag?” the sword yells. Its voice is slightly muffled.

“The sword is totes weird in the personality, too,” says Roxy. “But _look at the steam hammer.”_

“Wrinklefucker,” mutters John.

You tune out the argument, which gets increasingly heated. Not between Dirk and Roxy, who have largely stopped talking, but Dave and John appear to have strong feelings on the subject, as does Caliburn. You share a look with Rose, who gives a small shrug. You smile back. The sun is shining, and the nightmares are, if not gone, then at least faded in the daylight. The whole world has been tugged out from under your feet, and yet you are still here, still moving forward, still alongside your friends- your _family._

You are not okay. But you have hope that you will be.

### Suggestions Used

_ttd0000 -_ John's group: After a long and horrifying ordeal, collapse into a cuddle pile and finally get some sleep. I'm talking, half of you are touching the wrong butts and nobody cares deep exhaustion.

_Elizabeth Culmer (edenfalling) -_ Jane: what did the mask show YOU?

_MASK -_ Jane: dream of bubbles and the ocean spray--the time you met a mermaid (shut up it really happened okay)

_Ailavyn_Siniyash -_ Any of the girls: Cross your arms beneath your breasts and sniff in irritation.

_Schiatto13 -_ Jane: Realise that it's foolish and dangerous to talk back to or criticise beings of unimaginable power and authority. Continue to do so anyway.

_Schiatto13 -_ Jane: Get along swimmingly with the Feferi Lunar Lord Analogue.

_ttd0000 -_ Roxy: Alright, that's the second time you've grabbed Jane's butt. Not that it isn't a choice piece of ass, but I don't think she enjoys the attention. (Yeah, I also ship cotton candy.)

_ttd0000 -_ Jane: OR DO YOU!? No, no you don't. [...not enjoy Roxy grabbing her ass]

_RandomGal -_ Dave: Come back. Have slightly puffy eyes; deny that you cried.

_ttd0000 -_ John: Upon finding out you're a god react by... not reacting. It doesn't really change anything, world still needs saving. The main difference is, you have a decent chance of succeeding, if you live long enough. (Also, when did your hammer become terrifying?!?)

_Darwin G'wein –_ John: You, the "friend-leader", Attacked. Your. Friends. Lament so hard... Don't worry, no one can tell your usual mask is crooked (hopefully).

_ttd0000 -_ Rose: Spot early signs of shell shock (PTSD).

_ttd0000 -_ The Porthaven Crowd: Some of you have had run ins with the cults of blood and/or rage. Share these experiences with the rest of the group to explain why you think anyone marked by those should be avoided, if not killed on sight.

_Evi -_ For now, let me make a suggestion, I'm not sure if this is possible to ask for as a command, but I'd like if somewhere in the story some sort of saying or fairy-tale or nursery rhyme that involves Derse and Prospit. I'm a sucker for subtle details, so even something that involves the four words that they're made out of is cool too, prosperity and respite, dearth and terse, and this is probably too vague? Tell me what you think? (Or maybe you added them in somewhere already in your mythology and I didn't catch it?)

_J-Rook –_ Roxy &Dirk: get into a debate witch weapon is weirder(Magically speaking), the brittle Claiborne or the steam-powered Wrinklefucker, while blatantly ignoring their wilders (and Claiborne himself's) opinions on the matter.

_TheBookwormBakery -_ Anyone: get into a pointless, but highly entertaining, argument for an extended length of time until you realize that this is, in fact, stupid.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, I wanted to write a more impressive chapter for the return after the holiday hiatus, but it turns out that the friends who gifted me Dragon Age: Inquisition hate you all and don't want you to have more LODAD. :P
> 
> Seriously, though, I hope you all had a good holiday and thank you everyone for the Christmas and birthday wishes! There's been a couple of new readers shown up in the comments, so hello to you guys as well! :)
> 
> There will probably be another Jane chapter in the next couple of cycles, since I'm not really happy with this one, but it's been such a long time since she had a turn! Also in my future predictions, in a couple of months things are gonna get super-hectic because WE ARE GETTING A PUPPY!!! Forecast is for incoherent rambling about how amazing and adorable it is followed by incoherent cursing about how it poops on the floor and requires exercise.
> 
> (I am both excited and terrified about being responsible for this living creature.)


	108. -- 617: cultivationNarrator --

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Hero point votes:**  
>  Jake 4  
> John 1  
> Karkat 1  
> JAKE GAINS ONE HERO POINT!  
> Voting now open for the next Hero Point award: one person will get one after three chapters.
> 
>  **Current Hero Points:**  
>  John 3/5, ~~Rose 5/5, Dave 3/3, Jade 3/3~~  
>  Karkat 4/5, ~~Gamzee 3/3, Terezi 5/5~~  
>  ~~Sollux 3/3, Aradia 3/3, Kanaya 5/5~~  
>  Jane 4/5, Jake 4/5, ~~Roxy 3/3, Dirk 3/3~~

A young HODEKIN stands in her room. Actually, to be truthful, she’s not standing. She’s lying down. And she’s not in her room, either, she’s outside. It looks like she’s HAVING A NAP. Maybe we shouldn’t wake her; it would be rude to interrupt her rest just to pester her with questions about who she is!

No? Okay, then, but I bet she’ll be downright IRASCIBLE about it!

[ ](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/1m8xtr9qkz5x5y1/Cybele%20Meilikki.png?dl=0)

==> Who’s this INDOLENT WASTREL?

You are now CYBELE MEILIKKI and you do not appreciate being woken up so rudely! You would definitely be remonstrating with someone about this if you weren’t awkwardly intertwined with your HAMMOCK right now. You like to sleep outdoors because of the weather- which is almost always wonderful- and your SPECTACULAR GARDEN, but you’ve never really managed to gain the propensity for disengaging from your resting receptacle of choice without incident. You do have a bed indoors, but your house is barely more than a LITTLE HUT in the midst of all the greenery, which is exactly how you and all your ANIMAL FRIENDS like it.

You have a lot of animal friends, most especially your faithful lion companion NALA and her PRIDE. Besides them, you have to be excessively cautious about who you allow into the garden because of the plants. You are a DEDICATED HORTICULTURIST but you tend to favour decidedly INIMICAL FLORA, particularly of the sort that consumes animal life. It serves as an excellent defence against UNWANTED INTRUDERS but has led to a few TRAGIC ACCIDENTS in the past! It’s a dangerous and exhilarating hobby, and it takes up most of your time and energy just to keep the garden moderately tame.

Luckily, your other main hobby is SLEEPING, which doesn’t sound like much of a pastime at all were it not for your extraordinarily VIVID AND PROPHETIC DREAMS. You always look forward to seeing your GOLDEN CITY again, and you’ve been keeping detailed DREAM DIARIES for years to record the events of your frequent slumbers. You’ve branched out from there into more ORIGINAL AUTHORSHIP. Many of your stories are tales of BRAVE AND INTREPID YOUNG WOMEN in remote locales, who encounter lost princes- and sometimes princesses- with a talent for the cultivation of verdure and through a series of unlikely but dramatic events end up deeply and abidingly in love. You also write poems and songs, but for some reason Nala and the other animals don’t like it when you try to sing your LYRICAL COMPOSITIONS.

You have five good friends who you will soon play a game with. You get on pretty well with most of them, although you and IN do have some trouble finding things to talk about. You and CH are fellow CREATIVE SOULS, although you simply cannot bring yourself to tell her that her writing is both trite and atrocious. DX is your GARDENING APPRENTICE, of course, and although WS doesn’t really know what to do with your lovelies he is always POLITE AND FRIENDLY. ST is rather ENDEARING because he keeps flirting with you and acting all confident, but doesn’t seem to have the first clue what to do when you flirt back! You sent him some BEAUTIFUL FLOWER SPECIMENS recently. You hope he likes them!

You talk to your friends on the AETHERNET, using the spiritmark cultivationNarrator [CN] :D in a manner that is mostly sunny and bright and shows how you feel! D:< unless of course you START TO GET UPSET.

[ ](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/j254d7gjpp5nov1/LOSAO%20Titled.png?dl=0)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previous Eventual Elves can be found [here](http://archiveofourown.org/works/420086/chapters/4112280) and [here](http://archiveofourown.org/works/420086/chapters/5069693).
> 
> Also! There has been ~~some~~ lots of fanart, courtesy of Mort the Ghost. In addition to a [Clade Diagram for the LODAD world](http://tinypic.com/r/24mx3mc/8), there are now pictures of [the Porthaven Party](http://tinypic.com/view.php?pic=2a7ir6p&s=8#.VM4Q3S7UaBE), [Team Drow](http://tinypic.com/r/9a0n7b/8), [ the Surly Dog Company](http://tinypic.com/r/2yvnyg9/8) and [the REAL Adventurers' Company](http://tinypic.com/r/2eeka6r/8).
> 
> As ever it's been great to hear from you all and thank you for reading! :)


	109. ==> Jade: Stumble Upon An Old Temple

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Hero point votes:**  
>  NO VOTES CAST THIS ROUND.
> 
>  **Current Hero Points:**  
>  John 3/5, ~~Rose 5/5, Dave 3/3, Jade 3/3~~  
>  Karkat 4/5, ~~Gamzee 3/3, Terezi 5/5~~  
>  ~~Sollux 3/3, Aradia 3/3, Kanaya 5/5~~  
>  Jane 4/5, Jake 4/5, ~~Roxy 3/3, Dirk 3/3~~

## ==> Jade: Stumble Upon An Old Temple

“Thith ith thtupid.”

You roll your eyes, not that Sollux can see that right now. “You're not even trying!”

“Becauthe thith ith thtupid.” His head turns in your direction, the strip of mostly-clean cloth that you tied around his eyes flapping with the motion. “I'd athk how the fuck we're thuppothed to find an entire thecret thity by _blindfolding_ me, but I really don't care.”

“Well, you won't find it by looking, will you?” You put one hand on his shoulder and spin him back to the direction he was facing. “If looking worked, everyone would know where to find it. Just try to concentrate!”

“On _what?”_ Sollux's nose wrinkles. “The thmell of wet dog?”

Bec's head tilts up and he lets out a quizzical whine. You smack Sollux in the back of the head. “Be polite, butthead!”

“You thtart,” Sollux replies, in what you might be inclined to call a growl if you didn't know what proper wolfy growling sounded like. He follows it up by dropping to the ground, landing his bony butt just to the left of a knotty root, and sits cross-legged and with folded arms amongst the undergrowth.

Deciding that for the moment it may be best to give up, you settle down opposite him, leaning against the trunk of a tree. You wiggle a little, until you have a good backrest against the rough bark. Bec sniffs about, then sits next to you, his ears pricked up and listening.

“I guess you can take the blindfold off, if you want,” you say. “We can think of something else.”

Sollux huffs. “No, we can't. Thith thtupid plan ith the betht bet we have, unleth Thir Cothbie wantth to get hith gothtly heinie out here and help uth.” He pauses, blindly studying the sky above him. “I gueth I could lithten to you exthplain how thith ith thuppothed to work, again, without dying of exthathperathion.”

You rock forwards and frown, thinking. There's an orison you can cast that guides you to true north; a small magic, as these things go, but it took some training to understand how to use that instinct. “Tieflings have to find the City of Shadows somehow, and if it was something people had to be told then it would be super hard to keep it from being common knowledge!” You don't mention the lengths the Druids have gone to to keep some of their own secrets. Rule one is not implying you have any! “And everyone knows that Tieflings don't have families, not really. So there's no-one to tell them, even if it was something that they could tell. Which means it has to be some sort of homing instinct.”

“Or their familiarth lead them.”

“What?” Your eyebrows rise. “Isn't that a wizard thing?”

“Thort of.” Sollux pushes the corner of his blindfold up to peer at you. His eye is solid blue and glows with magic; it's eerie. “Withardth actually got the idea from theeing Tieflingth. Thome thorcererth have familiarth too, but they tend to be withard-dethcended... the point ith, all Tieflingth have a familiar to look after them when they're thmall. Not all of them thurvive, but they could be the oneth who know where the thity ith.”

Your hand digs into Bec's fur, and you pet your wolfy companion while you consider this. “I suppose it's possible,” you say. “But then, familiars aren't really animals, are they? They're more magic than that. So maybe you have that magic in another form!”

Sollux glowers at you. “You do realithe I'm not actually a Tiefling, right? Technically I'm an elf thaped by Tiefling magic.”

You reach out and tug the blindfold back down. “That's why we have to block out any distractions!”

“I'm going back to what I thaid,” says Sollux. “Thith ith thtupid.” He doesn't try to remove the blindfold, though, and after a moment he sticks a hand out and leans against a tree while he pushes himself upright. You go to help him out, and he shakes off your hand. You're stuck following him as he stumbles forwards, grabbing branches and tripping over rocks and roots. Bec trots beside him, keeping an eye on Sollux as he forges stubbornly forwards; you trust your companion to watch your idiot ally, and keep your own eyes on the trees.

That's probably why you see the other Druid first.

“Hey!” you yell, waving your hands over your head. Sollux stops, and through the trees the great bear's head swings around. The man beside it turns too, and you can see the moment he takes in Bec's presence beside you. He relaxes a little, but doesn't move his hand from the hilt of his sickle as he walks closer. It's only as he steps around the tree that you see he has a friend with him.

“Oh, hello!” you say. Sollux mutters something that sounds very rude and pulls off his blindfold, glaring at the Druid and the large Tiefling hovering just behind him.

“Hello, sister,” says the Druid. He bows to you. Bec trots up and presses his nose to the bear's. “What brings you out here?”

“The same that brings us, I think,” says his companion. He looks to Sollux and adds something in a tongue that chitters and clicks.

“Fuck that thit,” says Sollux. “Talk common or thut up.”

The Tiefling's eyebrows rise. He's much bigger than Sollux- or Karkat, or even Gamzee. He's a huge wall of grey with surprisingly demure little horns perched on top, and he's wearing the same muddy green-brown leathers as the Hodekin Druid beside him. The significantly older Druid, whose bright eyes are looking out from within a heavy thicket of slate-grey hair.

“You're a trainee!” you blurt, practically bouncing on your heels. “I've never met another Druid in training before! Although I'm not really in training, not any more, but still that's really great! It's so good to meet you both!” You bow to them, a quick little bobbing motion. “I'm Jade of the Greenweald! I was taught by Guardian Wolfsister!”

The senior Druid nods. “A pleasure to meet you, Sister Jade. I am Guardian Ursus of Lymecliff, and this is my apprentice Henzar.”

Sollux mutters something that to you sounds suspiciously like “Lymecliff ith a thithole”, and you elbow him. Slightly louder, he says; “Tholluxth Twinblood. Mage. _Arcane.”_

Henzar just makes a hum of understanding, but Guardian Ursus' face freezes in polite interest. You feel your own expression tightening into a frown. The thing about Druids- the thing that Guardian Wolfsister made really, _really_ sure you understood- is that they aren't just one thing. And sometimes the things they are and the thing you are go together about as well as summer and winter.

“So, what brings you out here?” you ask, keeping your voice cheery.

Henzar laughs and points to Sollux's blindfold. “Like I said, the same as you. Although we didn't think of the blindfold.”

“Henzar,” says Guardian Ursus. It's the tone Guardian Wolfsister used to use to warn you away from overprotective wolf bitches when you knew better than to go near them.

“Pfft, what's he gonna do?” asks Sollux. “Tell uth about the thecret Tiefling thity we were already looking for?” He raises a hand and points. “There'th thomething important thataway, jutht tho you know.” He grins, and it's not a pleasant expression. “Gueth you could thay I'm not inclined to be _elfith.”_

It takes you a moment to get the pun, and then you groan. “Lame!”

Henzar laughs. “Good one,” he says. He turns and starts off in the direction Sollux took. “Come on. My familiar told me before he left that the way lies beneath the dragon rock; you should probably keep your eyes open.”

Sollux gives you a filthy look then slouches off after him, leaving you to walk with Ursus. The senior Druid casts an eye over you, and his expression turns even more sour.

“I don't recognise that weapon,” he says.

“It's Dwarven,” you say brightly. It brings a smile to your face to remember Jake and the Quartzkin clan, even though you are super worried about your brother's fate. “It's super cool, kind of like an alchemical crossbow...”

“It's unnatural,” he snaps. You bristle at the tone. “Worse, it is meant for killing.”

“Of course it is.” Your voice rises a little. “It's a weapon!”

Guardian Ursus purses his lips. “The weapons of a Druid are the tools of hunters, of plant gatherers, of wanders. Not soldiers.”

“You could use it to hunt!”

“Hunt _what?_ Elephants?” Guardian Ursus shakes his head. “Anything that must be hunted with something like that was not meant for us to hunt.”

“Argh!” You are almost tearing your hair out. “That's circular! I can't use it to kill things that are big because they are too big to kill? How is that meant to make sense?”

“You will learn wisdom with age, young one.” He looks so insufferably smug that for a moment you are tempted to show him the mark of the Witch on your skin. Only for a moment, though- secrets are for guarding from your critics, not showing to them.

“Sure, if you think wisdom is talking cryptically and thinking you're better than people because you insist on being old-fashioned!” You glare at Guardian Ursus. “It's not like I'm going to shoot every animal I see with it!” Bec whines in agreement.

Guardian Ursus' lips purse. “Perhaps I was wrong about you learning wisdom.”

“Over there!” shouts Henzar, interrupting you just as you're about to tell Guardian Ursus exactly where he can shove his “wisdom”. You both look around to see him pointing over the crest of the trees to an overhanging cliff that, in the dying sunlight, does look like a roosting dragon.

“I was expecting a carving,” Henzar says, smiling.

“Yeah, coth nobody would find _that,”_ says Sollux, striding out ahead of him. You all have to hurry to keep up.

Night has fallen by the time you reach the foot of the cliff, and you pretty much figure that you'll have to make camp. It's too dark to search anything by starlight and whatever you're looking for, you suspect it will be well-hidden. But then Henzar shouts again, and the four of you stumble into a clearing at the foot of the cliff where silver markings shine with magical light around a doorway.

Sollux runs his fingers over the markings. “Thtar-writing,” he says, breathless. “It'th found in old templeth all along the Thtorm Coatht, but no-one ever knew who put it there.”

“I wish we could read it,” says Henzar, tracing the angular runes. Sollux steps forward through the entrance into a hallway that winds inwards. Light flickers, far ahead; you follow the two people with Darkvision into the tunnel, running your hand along the wall. The stone is smooth, but you can feel lines, curves, edges.

“What's carved on here?” you ask.

“More runeth,” says Sollux. “And other thtuff. Animalth. Lookth like- thome thort of heavenly thphereth? Tieflingth. Aathimar?”

“Why would there be Aasimar in a Tiefling secret underground tunnel?” you wonder.

“Good quethtion,” says Sollux. You can hear him grinning. “I mean, from a thertain perthpective they're not tho different anyway- Infernal and Thelethtial power are both _Divine,_ it'th more a quethtion of attitude than nature-”

“But Aasimar and Tieflings are totally different species!” You can't stop yourself from interrupting. Even Guardian Wolfsister, who taught you these things, never seemed to grasp the implications and Sollux is just leaping through the same thoughts you remember having. “From a biological standpoint they're as different as... as... as mice and bees! _And_ neither species has a proper evolutionary family tree!”

“A what?” The look Sollux gives you is more curious than distainful.

“That is a Druid matter,” says Guardian Ursus, giving you a stern glare. You huff then mouth _tell you later_ to Sollux. It's not strictly a secret, since anyone could work it out if they looked hard enough. Ursus is just a grouchy old stick.

“What's that?” whispers Henzar. Up ahead, there's a light flickering, a flame at the end of the tunnel.

“Lookth like thomeone with a torch,” says Sollux, at his usual volume. You all look at one another, and without a word make sure that your hands are not quite touching your weapons, just in case.

Henzar leads the way out, but you're right behind him, and you gasp as you step out of the tunnel. You were expecting a cavern, but instead you're standing in a circular gorge, the rock open all the way up to the sky. Stars shine down on the ancient, weathered stone and the dark pools of water all around you. Everything is lined in silver, and covered in frogs. Small, bright frogs like poisonous jewels hop around the feet of moss-covered frog carvings larger than you are; silver light picks out images of more frogs carved into the cliff walls around you. The air is filled with distressed croaking as you enter, and you tread carefully as you approach the source of the flame.

You are expecting another Tiefling, so you are surprised when you step past a frog statue big enough to live in, if it were hollow, and see an Aasimar woman running a finger along the glowing silver runes written across its side. She's tall, and blonde, and golden, and over well-worn travelling clothes she is covered in pouches, pockets and paraphernalia. She barely glances up as you all approach before turning back to the runes.

“Do be careful where you tread,” she says, in a tone near to irritation. “Some of these carvings are very fragile and I would not like to see them destroyed before I can make a record.”

Henzar looks at Ursus. Ursus looks at you. You look at Sollux. Sollux says what you are all thinking.

“Who the fuck ith thith douthebag?”

### Suggestions Used

 _Wolf -_ sollux: be tired and fed up with lack of information

 _Ephemeral_Dreamer -_ Jade: get in a shouting much with some druid for using a Musket

 _Ailavyn_Siniyash -_ Jade and Sollux: Bond over an unexpected shared interest/similarity.

 _Ephemeral_Dreamer -_ Jade or Aradia: Stumble upon an old temple that is filled to the brim with Frogs both still alive and depicted in art.

 _bookdragon5 –_ anyone/everyone: ... "who's this douchebag?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WE HASS THE PUPPY!
> 
> His name is Ozzy, we have had him just less than a day, and we have learned the following so far:
> 
> 1) He is a very smart doggy who has already learned how to ask to go outside and come back in.
> 
> 2) He has _amazing_ bladder control and can hold it for nearly a full day.
> 
> 3) He cannot combine the above two talents yet.
> 
> 4) He can bark like fire alarm without stopping for at least forty-five minutes.
> 
> 5) He thinks that if we leave him alone we are abandoning him forever and he needs to alert us to this error.
> 
> 6) We love him so fucking much.
> 
> Also I need to be more organised with my writing because it's a lot harder to binge-write when a puppy needs cuddles!


	110. ==> Karkat: Experience Sudden Sense Of Impending Doom

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Hero point votes:**  
>  Jake 1
> 
>  **Current Hero Points:**  
>  John 3/5, ~~Rose 5/5, Dave 3/3, Jade 3/3~~  
>  Karkat 2/5, ~~Gamzee 3/3, Terezi 5/5~~  
>  ~~Sollux 3/3, Aradia 3/3, Kanaya 5/5~~  
>  Jane 4/5, Jake 4/5, ~~Roxy 3/3, Dirk 3/3~~

## ==> Karkat: Experience Sudden Sense Of Impending Doom

Deep trancers don't last long in the Shanties. You're alert before you even know what broke you out of it, eyes open and staring at dimly-lit rafters. There's warmth all around you, breathing and heavy.

Oh. Right.

You take a moment to thank every god that you have ever heard of that you appear to have come to your senses before Gamzee and Terezi, who are flanking you possessively in this obscene cuddleheap of exhausted debauchery. Something about this pile of bodies strikes you as particularly obscene and you divert yourself to looking for whatever act of merciful providence spared you embarrassment in the morning. Not that anything _happened,_ but you know that they'll act like it did anyway...

A shadow moves by the door.

You freeze, slowing out your breathing to sleeping pace. A cold draft slips in as the door opens, and you recognise the golden flash of Tamlin's hair as he slips out into the night. You snort. Good fucking riddance; you're staying inside, where it's warm and dry.

You last about five seconds before you curse, wriggle out from under Terezi and Gamzee's arms- seriously, are they doing some sort of weird hate-flirting thing over you, because that is not okay on so many levels- and tiptoe over a room of comatose clowns to the door. Gods above and below, you fucking hate this cult of Rage-worshipping assholes.

Tamlin isn't even at the end of the street when you peer out of the door, and you wait until he's turned the corner to slip out and race after him. This area of the city doesn't rate cobblestones, and your boots slip in gloopy mud. You wrinkle your nose as raindrops patter onto your head; of course, the one terrible thing the Shanties _didn't_ have has to be out in abundance tonight. Still, it masks the sound of you following Tamlin. Shadowing him is pathetically easy. Surface elves can barely see in the dark.

You thought he might be headed back to the Guild to meet someone, or to some other shady tavern for a clandestine meeting, so you're surprised when he turns out of the shithole district you're in and heads for the better part of town. Mud gives way to slick cobbles, and the buildings become even more decorative and imposing. You start to get that prickle on the back of your neck that you get when you're trespassing. _Turn back now,_ your instincts scream. _Before you get your stupid ass dragged to a gallows._

But you're not in Golgesi any more, and you're a respectable adventurer now, and you have every fucking right to be anywhere that you can stick your boot in, so you keep following the golden-haired shit all the way to a white-walled circle of greenery nestled in the heart of what might otherwise have been a perfectly serviceable plaza. You enter the trees cautiously; you were perfectly happy to escape nature already, and you're not keen to go back, even if it is a sort of tamed and trapped nature that some madman has decided to drop in the middle of a city.

Ignoring the paths, Tamlin pushes his way through some bushes, and you're back to mud again as you follow him. The trees, as usual, try to stab your eyes out with whippy, poky sticks. You are starting to think the idiot is deaf as well as blind, because even if you can avoid cursing you can't stop the _crack_ and _swish_ of your amateurish passage.

You bet Jade would have skipped through this beetleshit.

You almost stumble into the clearing after Tamlin, and stop yourself just in time. There are more than enough shadows to hide you while you watch to see who he meets. Chill forgotten, you crouch down and narrow your eyes; you'll figure out what he's hiding.

Tamlin looks around, jumpy, but doesn't see you. He paces back and forth a little, then glances up at the sky. At first you think he's just checking the time, but he stares too long. His eyes are fixed on the moons.

No. On one moon.

“I think they suspect something,” he says. His voice is so low that you can barely hear it yourself. “I don't think this is going to work, they won't trust me enough.”

Something brushes against your leg. You nearly jump out of your skin, but it's just a cat, a patch of blacker fur against the black mud. It picks its way daintily past, not even acknowledging your presence, and patters up to Tamlin. It isn't alone; another half-dozen of the oversized vermin have closed in on him, encircling him like a judicial council. Which they well might be- you know wizards can get cats to do their dirty work for them. One of the reasons you've never trusted the little shits.

One of the cats yowls.

“That close?” Tamlin shakes his head. “But in that case, why do you even need me?”

Another yowl, this time from a different cat. You're starting to wonder if maybe the asshole just has a leaky thinkpan. He certainly makes Gamzee look like a paragon of stability and rational thought right now. Except the cats are still and staring, and the moonlight seems brighter, and you are getting the chills up and down your backbone that tell you some magical shit is going on.

“You don't understand!” Tamlin's voice is raising in frustration. “I like them! They're brave and fun and clever and I don't want to be the next person who lets them down!”

He's definitely crazy, or talking about someone else. Unless he defines “brave” as “suicidally reckless”, “fun” as “insane assholes” and “clever” as “luckier than the complete idiots they manage to defeat.”

You guess it's nice that he doesn't want to let you down. You're still going to stab his lying ass, but you guess you can forgo pissing in the wound.

It's then that your eyes decide it's too bright for darkvision, fuck you, regular vision only from now on. You blink in the sudden dim greenness, which has obviously been intensifying without your notice, and stifle a curse. All the cats cover you muttering by yowling at once in a manner that is truly creepy as shit. There's a sharp pain in the space behind your eyes, and when you close your eyes, everything turns red for a moment.

YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON, SHITMUNCH? FINE. KEEP YOUR HIDEOUSLY MALFORMED ELVEN APPENDAGES INSIDE THE VEHICLE AT ALL TIMES AND FOR FUCK'S SAKE, TRY TO REMEMBER AT LEAST SOME OF THIS HOOFBEAST CRAP FOR A CHANGE.

You fall. Down and down and down into darkness forever, a darkness speckled with points and lines of light, and you know without knowledge that what you are seeing is reality itself fractured and breaking. Memories swirl and you remember brief snatches- you're a revolutionary, a prophet, a soldier, a farmer, running backwards through regrets and wishes that you never knew you made.

And then you're sitting at a table in front of something organic and backlit, words in unfamilar runes that you can read anyway shining out at you, and you're _home._ Grey-skinned hands spew words that you don't give yourself space to regret

TA: KK DO NOT RUN THAT CODE.

and you've fucked up, you know you've fucked up the moment you click, but only now can you see the toxic oil-cloud of blackened fate as it settles over you. You are the curse, it is you, and your vision spirals off to dead monsters _(my lusus, oh fuck, what have I done)_ and dead adults _(that can't be my fault too, it can't)_ and a sickness laid upon a forgotten universe that creates the most unholy clusterfuck you could have imagined.

You remember blood running green and purple and brown and yellow, fear pumping, _you were responsible, how did you let this happen?_

You remember pity _(love)_ and hate _(passion)_ and holding on too tight with one hand and too loose with the other. Failing everyone, again and again, and you can't put words to how but you know you did. All your fault, all you, not past you but _you,_ the same you that you always are. Cursed. Idiot. Asshole.

And then you see the stars falling. Burning rocks tumble from the sky, crushing buildings unlike any you've ever seen and slaughtering screaming grey children as they run. No adults, you note dimly. There are no adults here, on this world of Tieflings, and it's a world that's ending. Part of you thinks that is your fault too, but even as you think it you know it isn't true.

This was inevitable. This is always inevitable.

You come back to yourself gasping and shivering and lying in the mud. You feel wrong in your skin; you're too short, too slight and skinny, your vision miscoloured and your head missing the faint tingle from horns sensing the poles of the world. You have no fucking clue what you just saw, but... Sollux was there. Sollux, and Gamzee, and Terezi and Kanaya and Jade too, you think. Those names are right, but there were other names too.

The part of you that always reaches for your dream journal upon waking is suddenly certain that if you were to get a mage to cast with the name Sollux Captor, or Terezi Pyrope, it would bind them as tight as Karkat Vantas would bind you. You remember- the Knight of Blood remembers those names for them, when their faces were grey, and _you don't know why that is._

Far, far too late you notice that there are two people looking down at you. Well, fuck.

“Karkitty!” squeals the one who is _not_ a treacherous Aelfen asshat. Her voice shoots straight through your head and you sit up, wincing. Ow. Shit. You feel like someone just drilled a hole in your skull and hammered a few nails in after.

“Is he alright?” Tamlin asks. The girl next to him purrs- fucking _purrs-_ and reaches out to pet your hair. You grab her hand.

“Fuck, no,” you say, and then you actually look at her. If they gave out prizes for yelping like an injured infant and leaping six feet backwards, you would be getting the gold right now. _“Holy motherfucking shitsticks!”_

You have no fucking clue what she actually is, but even Tieflings do not usually glow green or ripple the world around them just by standing there. For several eternal seconds your heart flutters in your mouth, waiting to be obliterated in a storm of magical retribution. Your fear instantly transmutes to rage when the girl-thing _giggles._

“What, you think this is fucking funny?” You jump to your feet and throw an accusing finger out to the pair of them. “Sending your minion to spy on us? Dragging me out here in the wet and the mud? I bet you've been sitting on some big golden throne somewhere cackling at how insignificant we are compared to you! Well, laugh it the fuck up, you shitscented candlewick! At least I'm doing something with my life!”

The glowing girl blushes. At least, you think that's what the green tint on her face is- it's hard to tell under all the green light. “That's not furry nice, Karkitty! Although I will furgive you, beclaws you are super cute like this! Like a little kitten trying to challenge a mighty roarbeast!”

“I think he's back to normal,” says Tamlin, over the utter horror dawning in the pit of your stomach. “At least, that's how he usually is, so I guess the Knight isn't possessing him any more?”

The glowing girl flaps a hand at him. “He wasn't _possessed,_ silly. He was _remempurring.”_

You narrow your eyes at her. “What the fuck do you know about it?”

She giggles again and runs one clawed finger down your cheek. “You'll find out!” she sing-songs. “I only came down fur a moment, but we'll see each other soon. When you're you again.”

You swallow, and say the first thing that comes into your head. “If you try to kidnap me, I will stab you in the fucking eye.”

“Of claws you will!” The girl chuckles. “You're adorfurbale, but there is a purrior claim.”

Before you can question that latest bemusing statement in a veritable feast of confounding babble, she flares with light and you are forced to throw up an arm to protect your eyes. In an instant it fades and you look up, blinking, to see that she is gone. Tamlin stands alone in the clearing, twisting his fingers round and round one another.

You blink at him. Okay, so he's a treacherous asshole and a spineless weasel to boot, but there is mud soaking through your breeches and you actually have no fucking clue how to get back to the place where your companions are still waiting. Fuck it. You've worked with worse. “Well? Are you going to help me up, or stand there fondling yourself all night?”

His hand is accompanied by a string of garbled apologies that you have no interest whatsoever in, and you let him take a little more of your weight than is strictly necessary because it's his fault you're lying on the ground. As you get to your feet- urgh, your breeches are sticking to you, it feels like you shat yourself- you catch sight of something over his shoulder. In the sky above, the green moon of Regulus is shining, bright and full and exactly where it wasn't twenty seconds ago.

PAYING ATTENTION YET, GLOBE-FOR-BRAINS?

You shiver, shrug off all this beetleshit magical weirdness, and turn to follow Tamlin back to warmth and tolerable company.

### Suggestions Used

 _ttd0000 -_ Tamlin: With a frozen smile on your face, angst at the increasing possibility of being caught out and shunned by the group, all of whom you consider friends, especially Karkat for some reason.

 _ttd0000 -_ Tamlin: get caught contacting your sponsor, who's actually pretty chill and just wants to make sure the marked ones save the world like they're supposed to.

 _will408914 -_ dreaming!Karkat: Get frustrated with awake!Karkat's foolishness and give him a sampling of your choicest memories (like that time you realized that literally every problem in the universe was your fault) at the worst possible time.

 _OwlFlight -_ Karkat: Realize that, due to your connection to the God of Memories, you've got the super-power to remember random stuff that never happened to you. (It's actually memories of your past lives acting up, but you don't know that).

 _1JakoftheMoon1 -_ Karkat: It's the eeeeeend of the woooorld as we know it- oh wait, it was just a dream. Definitely not a sneak peek or anything.

 _Chippy -_ Karkat: if your dreams are the knight of blood's memories, then why do the true names of the people he knew match the true names of your fellow godmarked(why is your true name the same as his)?

 _OwlFlight -_ Any of the former trolls: Momentary past-life regression is mistaken as all-out possession by your patron god.

 _UDMonk -_ Huntress: Develop crush on loud, angry and COMPLETELY ADORABLE mortal. :3  <3

 _UDMonk -_ Karkat: Experience sudden sense of impending doom.

 _Ailavyn_Siniyash -_ Regulus/Nepeta/whoefur you are's chosen ship: don't claws a love triangle  
(I just don't like love triangles, 'kay? And also, I should be clawed for that pun.)

### System Notes

Karkat spends 2 hero points for godly contact. 2/5 Hero points remain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I figure that in the many, many centuries that have passed and with all the changes she's undergone, Nepeta has figured that Karkat isn't interested. A girl can dream, though. :)
> 
> Besides, it would be sorta weird to seduce him as a mortal. Probably wouldn't end well.


	111. ==> Roxy: Arrive

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Hero point votes:**  
>  Jake 1  
> Karkat 2
> 
>  **Current Hero Points:**  
>  John 3/5, ~~Rose 5/5, Dave 3/3, Jade 3/3~~  
>  Karkat 2/5, ~~Gamzee 3/3, Terezi 5/5~~  
>  ~~Sollux 3/3, Aradia 3/3, Kanaya 5/5~~  
>  Jane 3/5, Jake 4/5, ~~Roxy 3/3, Dirk 3/3~~

## ==> Roxy: Arrive

Alftor is not a walled city like your home on the Storm Coast and its neighbours. You watch in interest as rolling plains become farms and farms become well-to-do estates. By the time you reach a wall, you're already on a bustling street surrounded by businesses and homes. The old guardhouse is in use as a stall selling meat skewers to passers-by, and you insist on stopping the whole party to get some lunch.

Just beyond the remains of what was once a city gate, you see a familiar and welcome sight.

“Maplehoof!” Squealing, you throw yourself towards your long-lost horsey companion, partly because you totally missed her but also because you know Dirk and Rose will be too busy being all serious and stoic to give her a proper greeting. She lips at your hair, which you think means affection in horse? Frigglish, draped across your shoulders for safe keeping, hisses and takes a swipe.

“Easy there, puss, ain't like you're being stood up at the ball.” Dirk slips past you and pats Maplehoof. His attempt to remain manly is adorable. You stifle giggles.

“Did you find your way here alone?” Jane asks. “Clever girl.”

“I doubt it,” Rose says. She points, and you look up to see a young man hovering behind Maplehoof and just in front of Dirks previously lost caravan. Your first thought is that it's Balder, but no, he's younger and less pretty. You get right up in his face for a careful peer, just to be sure.

“Were you waiting for us?” John asks, more suspiciously than he might have done before the whole icky evil mind-controlling mask business.

“Yes,” says the elf. He doesn't meet your eyes. Jane huffs.

“Let me guess,” she snaps. “You have visions from the Light and it's your destiny to poke your nose into our business in the most cryptic and unhelpful fashion you can?”

The Aelfen shakes his head. “No? I... look, I don't want to get off on the wrong foot with anyone else. I promise I'm here to help.”

“Who isn't?” Dave asks. “Shit, we got so much help, we could open a business selling it. We are rolling in help like dragons bedding in gold. Is that a sack of money you got there, Dave? Nope, it's all this fucking help people keep giving me, gotta haul that shit around because there is no more room in the help vaults to store it.”

You prod the stranger in the chest with a finger. “Spill,” you order.

He looks around at the crowds, not a one of them paying you notice, then sighs. “The one who sent me says that she is furry disappointed that you took this long, and she wants to make purrtain that you find Karkitty.”

Nobody flinches back or moved, but you do notice how certain members of your party freeze up.

“Sweet of her to send you by,” says Dirk. “Tell her next time to pick a better fucking means of correspondence. Mysterious strangers showing up outta the blue to spout bullshit are not what I would call a rock-solid source of confidence. Send a sealed letter or some shit.”

“She's not, uh, here, is she?” Jane asks, with a look around as if the Lunar Lord Regulus is about to pounce from above yelling _surprise!_ Which she might do, actually; you're not an expert on the Lunar Lords, but from what your friends tell you, she sounds super playful in a slightly scary way.

Frigglish mews and rubs his face on your chin, and you break out in a grin. “Friggles says nope, all clear,” you inform your bestie, before turning back to your mysteeerious informant. He gets two extra “e”s, that is how mysterious he is. “So, where's this Karkitty at?”

“And how can we be certain your overtures are genuine, and not simply some elaborate deception?” Rose adds.

The Aelfen gives a half-smile in reply. “Adventurer's Guild,” he says, passing Maplehoof's bridle to Dirk. “It's a public place, plenty of backup for everyone, and you can get your membership while you're there.”

“Membership?” asks Dirk, with a tilt of his head that is _totally_ deliberate. “It would be pretty fucking remiss of me not to point out that this screams _come visit my disreputable cultist buddies at our stronghold.”_

The Aelfen shakes his head. “No, it's nothing like that! It's just that the adventuring profession is regulated here- the Duke and Princes prefer to know who's likely to have a pile of magic swords and armour, that's all.” He waves a hand around the street. “You can ask anyone!”

“That may be a prudent response,” says Rose, slowly. “If this Adventurer's Guild is as you describe it, I am certain we can procure directions and meet you there in our own time.”

Dirk nods. “A chance to do some reconnaissance, map out the lay of the land. Nothing personal, but we're not going to trust the first asshole comes soliciting our attention in a strange city. Especially under the circumstances.”

The elf guy looks kind of disappointed, but he nods. “I'll head back to the Guild now, and wait for you,” he says. “Try to be there by the end of the day?”

“We will make no promises,” says Jane, sounding so prim that you snicker into Frigglish's fur. The six of you watch as the Aelfen turns and slips off down the street, vanishing into the crowd.

“What a douche,” says Dave's sword.

“Shut _up,”_ say four of you. You're one of the speakers; only Dirk and John avoid saying anything. The sword snickers.

“None of you got his name,” it says. “Hilarious. You'll turn up and ask: where's the gold-looking Aelfen. And then they'll say: which one?”

John _pffts._ “He can find us!”

“Don't egg it on,” says Dave. “Fucking talking piece of shit. Shoulda chucked it away already.”

“I'm too awesome,” says the sword.

Jane clears her throat. “So, are we going to make enquiries of the locals, or not?”

Dirk nods. “We'll split into pairs,” he says. “We can cover more ground that way, and nobody should end up too deep in the shit. I'll bring the caravan back here to meet up again.”

“Sibling pairs would seem appropriate,” says Rose.

“Nuh-uh,” says John, shaking his head. “You and Roxy are way too squishy.”

You glare at him. “Am not!”

“Even so, it makes sense to split our expertise,” says Jane, a little too forcefully. “Dave and Dirk I expect will make a suitable pair. I can go with Roxy, and John with Rose.”

You grin and throw your arms around her shoulders. “Great idea! We can spend some friend-time together!”

Rose covers her mouth to hide a smile. John doesn't bother, and although Jane is blushing, she's smiling too.

“You guys have fun!” says John, grabbing Rose and starting to drag her away. “Come on, Rose, let's go ask that lady with all the baskets!”

“Later,” says Dirk. He, Dave, Maplehoof and the caravan slink off in the other direction.

A thought strikes you and you turn to Jane. “Janey?”

“Yes, Roxy?”

“I coulda gone with John.” You give her your saddest eyes.

“Yes, well, I thought we wanted to get something done,” she says, still smiling. You give her a playful punch in the arm.

“You are so awful,” you say. “But I forgive you.”

“Good, because we will have to put up with one another's company for a while,” says Jane. She looks around and sets out up the street. “I suppose this is the only way left, other than back the way we came.”

You trot after her, one hand steadying Frigglish. Your eyes scan around for likely-looking informants and tour guides.

“Hey, how about that way?” you ask, pointing through a gap between two buildings to another street, running parallel to this one.

Jane shakes her head. “I don't think we should be running off down dark alleys just because- Roxy!”

“It'll be fine!” you call back, skipping down the gap. Really, it's not much of an alley at all, and Jane is such a worrywart. She needs to take more risks-

“Hello, girlie.”

You blink at the three men who were hidden by the pile of crates. Men is stretching it a bit, really; one of them is older, but the other two are still kids really. That skinny, gawky adolescent thing is even skinnier and gawkier on elves. Not that it stops them from looking vaguely menacing. You guess it's the tattoos, leather and knives that do that? Behind them you can just about make out a door, which you think they might be guarding.

“Hi,” you say, because you can't go around treating people like the enemy just because of how they look. Especially when so many of your enemies end up dead. “Hey, maybe you can help me! We were told that there's a Guild for Adventurers in this city?”

Jane comes jogging up behind you, not even panting, and eyes your new acquaintances with suspicion. “Roxy, you silly sausage, will you listen to me when I tell you not to wander down suspicious dark alleys!”

“You're adventurers?” the older man asks. He's Aelfen, mostly silver, and pretty bulky for an elf. Kind of like John in that, actually. “Look, we don't want any trouble-”

Jane snorts. It is a very disbelieving snort.

“-not from you, at least,” the man adds. He pauses and glances back at three crates that have obviously been in use as a small table and seats. “Look, just to show no hard feelings, how about a friendly game?”

“What sorta game?” you ask, before Jane can decline.

“Arm wrestling,” one of the kids says, grinning. He's missing teeth. “Henri is the best. You'll never beat him.”

“Jane totes could!” you say. Fingers dig into your arm and you are spun around to face your unwitting volunteer.

“Roxy!” she hisses. “Stop getting us in deeper!”

“I'm being friendly!” you say- at a normal volume, because really, they can hear you anyway. “C'mon, what are you, chicken?”

“I am not chicken!” Jane puffs herself up. “This is just not a good idea! We are supposed to be getting directions to the Guild, if it exists!”

“I can give you directions,” says the man who is probably Henri. “And some rumours, too.”

Jane turns to frown at him, although you think the frown is really for you and got misplaced. “Well, go on, then.”

“Match first,” the man says, settling down on the nearest crate and settling his elbow on the bigger one. “I'm curious now. Unless you really are chicken.”

Jane huffs. “Oh, I'll show you!” she says, dropping down onto the other crate. “Best of three?”

“Naturally,” says Henri.

You lean over to one of the kids. “Betcha five copper she wins.” You'd bet more, but you don't think he has it. The look he gives you tells you he knows that.

“I'll bet five copper,” he says. “You can bet gold, adventurer.”

“Silver,” you say, because Rose carries all the money and she would one hundred percent not approve of this. Not that she will hear about it, because Jane is going to win.

The kid spits on his hand and holds it out to you. You do the same and shake on it.

“If you're quite done?” says Jane.

“All sorted!” you say, grinning. With a low chuckle, Jane turns back to the man and sets her own elbow to the crate, wiggling her fingers at him. He smirks back and takes her grip.

“One, two, _three!”_ As soon as he reaches three he is pushing, but Jane is ready. The muscles in their arms tighten, but neither moves even a fraction of an inch. Their smiles fade, faces locking in pure effort. Your stomach makes an uncomfortable flip; Janey is strong, but maybe you underestimated her opponent.

“Balls,” whispers the guy you bet with, and it makes you feel better about Jane's chances.

The end, when it comes, is fast. There is slight motion, and then Henri is slamming Jane's fist into the crate.

“Good try,” he says, grinning through sweat. “Keep trying and you might get somewhere.”

“Oh, I'll see to it this time.” Jane holds out her hand again. She's wearing her battle-face.

“Bet you're regretting that wager,” says the guy you didn't bet with.

“Nah,” you say, eyes locked on the contestants as Jane counts down. “She'll show him.”

The second round is even more intense than the first. If looks alone could start fires the whole alley would be ablaze. You can hear their teeth grinding. Frigglish shifts on your shoulders and you reach up to settle him without even looking.

Slowly, barely, Henri starts to push Jane's hand down. Your breath catches in your throat. Jane grunts, and you think you smell baking and the laughter of children nearby. The momentum of the contest shifts and Jane shoves Henri's arm back the way it came, shoving it inch by inch back down into the crate.

“Regretting that wager?” you ask your fellow gambler, cheerily.

“One round left,” he says. He hooks his thumbs in his belt and you both turn back to watch the contest.

“One, two, _three!”_ they count together. You mouth the words along with them.

The contest tips quickly this time. You watch with growing joy as Jane pushes Henri's arm down and claims her victory.

“My win, I think,” she says. Henri stands and spits on the ground.

“Adventurer's Guild is the big building up past the Old Quarter,” he says. “Head north and you can't miss it; the main thoroughfare goes right past it, and it's lousy with mercs in expensive gear. Anyone can point you to it if you get lost. City Guard will walk you right up to the gates if they think you need a license.”

“Thank you,” says Jane, with a smile. She walks back over to you. “Come on, Roxy. I think we've got what we were looking for.”

The kid you bet with hold out a hand of coppers. You shake your head.

“Don't worry about it,” you say. “It was just for funsies.”

He glares and all but shoves the money into your hand. “Like the Even-Handed would buy that. Deal's a deal,” he mutters, and turns away, pointedly ignoring you. Figuring it's not worth the argument, you jingle the cash in your hand as you walk away.

“You ever feel like another game, you come back and ask for Henri!” the man shouts after you. You wave to him on Jane's behalf.

The others are already waiting for you back on the corner, Maplehoof looking suitably put out by all this back and forth.

“You guys took ages!” says John, as you approach. “What happened?”

“We met some interesting sorts,” says Jane. “I assume you heard the same thing we did?”

“Big building, north of the city, can't miss it?” says Dave. “Yeah, we got the message.”

“It seems like a reputable organisation,” Rose adds. “Inasmuch as any organisation catering to adventurers may be referred to in such terms.”

“Hey, organisation might be a slander, but I'll have you know we are entirely reputable,” says Dirk.

“Repudiated, perhaps,” says Rose. Dirk nods to her, a point scored. You smile and turn your coppers over again in your hand. Rose notices them and raises an eyebrow.

“Wherever did you get those?” she asks. “Tell me you did not resort to banditry in the last twenty minutes.”

“Nah,I won them in a bet,” you say, tucking them into your smallclothes for safekeeping. “Wasn't even gonna claim, but apparently someone even-handed would get mad or something?”

Rose's eyebrows raise. “The Even-Handed? Curious.”

“Why?” asks Jane.

“Because that is an epithet of the Knight of Blood,” says Rose. “One once used fairly regularly by his worshippers.”

“Makes sense,” says Dirk. “From what I know of that god, as assholes go, he's an indiscriminate one.”

You all share a look.

“They said we could go back,” says Jane.

“We could investigate the role of the Infernal Gods in the current... situation,” Rose adds.

“Hells, if nothing else, I bet I could fleece 'em better than a wizard and a watch constable,” says Dave.

On your shoulder, Frigglish mews. You grin.

“We're in,” you say.

### Suggestions Used

 _Do -_ John/Jane: win a bare knuckle boxing match/arm wrestle for money

 _Aryashi -_ Jane: Prove instrumental in solving a problem no one else can handle

 _ttd0000 -_ Tamlin: Welp, you have your orders. You must do everything in your power to make sure that meeting occurs. As for what happens beyond that, well it's not like YOU'RE supposed to save the world, right?

 _J-Rook -_ Great Lord Regulus: summon to you your favored among the chosen adventurers that you spoke to before, to give an im-perr-tent update to the noble matchmaking quest you sent them on. summon Roxy too, because Frigglish likely doesn't speak common.

 _1JakoftheMoon1 -_ Gambling: Be an important plot element.

 _ttd0000 -_ The Porthaven Crowd: Some of you have had run ins with the cults of blood and/or rage. Share these experiences with the rest of the group to explain why you think anyone marked by those should be avoided, if not killed on sight.

 _HUNRonin -_ Porthaven Groups Misconceptions About The Infernal Pantheon: Don't get corrected in a timely manner.

[System Notes](http://celynbrum.tumblr.com/post/113716226355/lodad-system-notes-chapter-111)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm pretty sure I've used some of these suggestions already? Looks like I managed to copy some down twice, but I dunno which ones. Aargh.
> 
> [Here are some pictures of my puppy](http://celynbrum.tumblr.com/post/113715457480/some-pictures-of-ozzy-aka-the-reason-ive-hardly), who is the best puppy ever. I am an impartial and unbiased source and you can believe me totally and without reservation on this point.


	112. -- 617: intrepidNecromancer --

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Hero point votes:**  
>  Jake 1  
> Karkat 2  
> Jane 2  
> A DRAW HAS OCCURRED! D20 Roll - Odds for Karkat, Evens for Jane  
> 17 ROLLED - KARKAT GAINS ONE HERO POINT!  
> Voting now open for the next Hero Point award: one person will get one after three chapters. 
> 
> **Current Hero Points:**  
>  John 3/5, ~~Rose 5/5, Dave 3/3, Jade 3/3~~  
>  Karkat 3/5, ~~Gamzee 3/3, Terezi 5/5~~  
>  ~~Sollux 3/3, Aradia 3/3, Kanaya 5/5~~  
>  Jane 3/5, Jake 4/5, ~~Roxy 3/3, Dirk 3/3~~

A young DROW stands in his room. He hopes you won’t be put off by some of the weird stuff he has lying around the place. He’s a pretty friendly guy, honest, and there’s so much cool stuff here he wants to show off! Maybe you could hang out some, stay for dinner, watch some movies later? That would be neat!

[ ](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/qk94hzkluz6ufwv/Tehuti%20Quartzkin.png?dl=0)

==> Who’s this PERSISTENT WEIRDO?

You are now TEHUTI QUARTZKIN and you might have been a bit enthusiastic just now but this place is so big you usually rattle around in it on your own! You live in this huge old ADVENTURER’S MANSION under the Dragonshard Mountains, and the place is dug in so deep it’s basically a whole cave system in its own right. You don’t even know where all the rooms are, although you know there’s usually some seriously fucking COOL STUFF in them. You’ve brought a bunch of the really neat shit back to your room, but you don’t often get a chance to tidy it away. Too much to explore around here, and that doesn’t even count the DWARF HOLD a few caverns over!

When you’re not EXPLORING YOUR HOME, you like to divide your time between perusing tales of BOLD FUTURISTIC ADVENTURE and doing intensive MAGICAL RESEARCH to further your space-age ambitions. Mostly that just means you fuck about in the LAB until something blows up, but you are pretty awesome with some aspects of TECHNO-MAGERY. Combining the two has caused some narrowing in your magical fields of study, but you think it’s worth it. Technology is the wave of the future, after all, and it’s just not satisfying to run around pretending to be a Spacefleet Commander with nothing but an old-fashioned wand! That’s why you made your gun and learned to shoot your spells with it; because SCIENCE, is why!

Another thing you are awesome at is MAKING FRIENDS, which is an hilarious punne or play on words because you are literally making the friends out of dead people! You were originally trying to make golems but necromancy turned out to be way easier, and zombies are quicker to fix when a rousing game of Spacefleet Versus Mindflayers goes too far anyway. Some of your friends think that it’s kind of EVIL to surround yourself with SHAMBLING HORDES OF REANIMATED CORPSES, but as you point out, you didn’t kill anyone and it’s not like they were using the bodies!

You have five good friends who you will soon play a game with. WS is the aforementioned JUDGEMENTAL ASSHOLE, but when you’re not arguing about corpses he’s got some awesome TRAP-RELATED PROBLEMS for you to work on. You also have ST to talk about MAGIC with, and the two of you share as many spells as you can. CH will talk about ADVENTURE with you and although she’s stuck in the past she makes some AWESOME MUSIC. She even wrote you a Spacefleet Commander theme song for your hatching day! You don’t really get CN and you don’t think she gets you, either, but she doesn't mind if you ramble about all your cool stuff for ages and you think her GARDEN sounds exciting! Your BEST FRIEND, though, is DX. The two of you are definitely cobuddy corpsmembers for life and beyond! One day you’re going to go on an AWESOME ADVENTURE together and you will definitely, totally have one another’s backs because she’s the COOLEST PERSON you know.

You talk to your friends on the AETHERNET, using the spiritmark intrepidNecromancer [IN] with a flair for the DRAMATIC! And the SPoOoKY! WhoOo! 8)

[ ](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/18v6q75x9y72nxm/LOSAD%20Titled.png?dl=0)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow. Four of the six Eventual Elves up already? I shall have to start work on the next filler sequence. ;)
> 
> Thank you to everyone who has been reading and commenting. I promise I read all your comments, even if I don't respond right away, and I love all of them!


	113. ==> Jake: Explore An Underwater Temple

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Hero point votes:**  
>  John 1
> 
>  **Current Hero Points:**  
>  John 3/5, ~~Rose 5/5, Dave 3/3, Jade 3/3~~  
>  Karkat 3/5, ~~Gamzee 3/3, Terezi 5/5~~  
>  ~~Sollux 3/3, Aradia 3/3, Kanaya 5/5~~  
>  Jane 3/5, Jake 4/5, ~~Roxy 3/3, Dirk 3/3~~

## ==> Jake: Explore An Underwater Temple

You rouse from nightmares of drowning to find yourself underwater. A spirited bout of panicked coughing and flailing ensues, before it penetrates your noggin that your distress is entirely self-imposed. You close your eyes and, with a supreme act of heroic will, take a breath. Water floods down your throat and fills your lungs, but it's not a terrible sensation. Gods damn it, but magic is bloody weird and no mistake.

Opening your eyes, you take in your surroundings clearly for the first time. The lighting is a mite strange, but you suppose that is to be expected when you're in an enchanted Merrow kingdom. That's where you imagine you are, at any rate. The sight that meets your eyes is underwhelming, to say the least. If you were expecting palaces of glittering coral and pearl you would be sorely disappointed. Thanks to Bryn and her collections of fanciful adventuring publications, you are indeed less than enthralled. You never did find out what coral was, but you are quite certain it isn't the rotten timbers of a submerged hull. Small cages stuffed with glowing fish are hung around the room, and the sickly green-blue light they shed illuminates what was once the stateroom of a ship. You are lying on a cracked bed-frame and a coverlet that is more mould than cloth. You can't really smell anything, most likely a result of the same spell that lets you breathe, but you would bet your guns alchemical and muscular alike that above the waves this room would stink.

Enough is enough. Tired of lollygagging about, you swing yourself upright, or try to. Things don't move right in the water and it takes you a moment to get your feet planted on the planks. They're bare, you note. In fact, when you check, someone has stripped you while you were out and redressed you in about five pounds of gold jewellery and not a single scrap else.

You have a very uncomfortable feeling about where this is headed, so you grab the rotten coverlet from the bed and drape it around yourself like a red velvet toga. You instantly weight twice as much as you did before clothing yourself. Thus arrayed, you head over to the cracked planks of the door and peer out of the room.

It occurs to you about five seconds too late that there is likely to be a guard watching your door and that stealth may be the order of the day. Fortunately for your continued independence, the corridor outside your room is empty. Jolly poor show from your captors, but you're not complaining. Rather than abandon your tardy caution, you push the door open with care. There is no loud creak, but it takes a bit of welly to move and sets up eddies that swirl in the water drifting around you.

The hall outside your room is dark, dank and in bad repair. The floor slants at an alarming angle and you half tip-toe, half doggy-paddle your way along. As methods of ambulation go, it's utterly preposterous and even less dignified, but you can't be any more graceful without ditching your makeshift toga. You have no intentions of doing any such thing, of course. There are some things a chap must do when he is once again abducted by nefarious adversaries bent on his virtue!

You wish one of your friends was here. Even Gamzee would be reassuring to have at your side. This is a right bloody pickle and no mistake- even if you can find your pistols, there's no chance of firing them underwater. You'll be lucky if the salt hasn't done them in for good.

Up ahead of you there is a light. You bounce and stumble towards it, one hand on splintery planks and the other preserving your modesty. You can't hear a dashed thing through the pulse in your ears, so you slow down as you reach it and approach the end of the corridor with caution.

What you see would take your breath away if you had any.

Ahead of you lies a vast chasm, a split in the ocean floor so deep that only the faintest glimmer of sunlight survives its journey through the green-black water overhead. Instead, floating balls of magic and more caged fish cast an ethereal turquoise glow over the scenery. The light plays over carved ridges cut into the chasm sides. At first you think they're steps, and then you see the prow of a ship jutting from one of them and the tiny specs that are Merrow and your perspective shifts. They are ledges, countless ledges, acting as seats and meeting places and courtyards in this alien city. The Quartzkin hold could vanish amidst it all; you are not sure even Golgesi would be more than a minor addition.

Now that you can see more clearly what is in front of you, you can also see the ships. Like the one you just emerged from they are resting on ledges all around the chasm, shattered and rotting, skeletons of shipwrecks arranged as trophies and shelters. Far more of the ledges hold domes, the stones joined together in tight jigsaw mosaics rather than regular blocks and covered with wild tangles of drifting seaweed.

All in all, you are jolly impressed despite yourself. How many air-breathing landlubbers have gotten to see this sight?

Unfortunately, that thought leads you back to the rather more thorny question of what the blue blazes they want with you, and who exactly they are, anyway. There is still absolutely no sign of anyone in the general vicinity, and that just makes you edgier. You try to tiptoe forward and end up bobbing on the edge of the ledge you are on. A glance down tells you that you are bloody high up, and that the folks who constructed this city didn't have much of a care for stairs. You wonder about jumping down, but decide against it. Everyone you can see in the water is swimming, and while you think you might fall slower, you're certainly not about to test the theory until you've had a proper gander about. The inky depths below are hardly a welcoming sight, and you never know when the solution to your conundrum might appear after all.

Tugging your coverlet back up where it had started to slip, you begin exploring the ledge. It's bigger than it first seems, long and shallow, the bulk of it taken up by the shattered ship. Around the back, tucked into the rocky wall, you find an opening that is fortunately not hidden at all. More caged fish light the way as you step into what would, in a dwarf hold, be a spiral stair down. Here it is more of a ramp, clinging to the outer wall to leave the inner column free, and you understand without much thought that the entire rigmarole of steps is all so much hogswash underwater. You end up slipping and sliding down the rock until you finally give up, chuck the coverlet down the hole, and bound after it with an incomprehensible burble that you originally intended to be a spirited cry of “Geronimo!”

A little paddling as you sink keeps your landing soft, as does the coverlet. You pull a face as you pick it back up. This time you tie it around your waist as a skirt, tryig not to get too tangled in sodden velvet as you step through the door at the bottom of the rampway.

Beyond is a temple. There's certainly no denying that fact; a chap would have to be blind to miss it. The god it is dedicated to certainly likes the finer things in life, although there really is no accounting for taste. You blink, dazzled, at the golden columns and mosaics of precious gemstones and the statues of aesthetically pleasing young ladies and gentlemen wearing even less than you are at the present moment. The overall effect is certainly religious, if pirates and dragons were inclined towards religion.

You catch yourself assessing what sort of enchantments you could put on your gear with this sort of wealth, and give your wayward thoughts a stern time-out. Nonetheless, your fingers keep on itching as you drift through the gaudy temple.

“Like what you see?”

Jumping out of your skin isn't really an option, what with the water resistance, but your coverlet does slip a little before you catch it. At the far end of the temple, lounging at the feet of the biggest statue of the bunch, is a young man. You didn't see him at first. Everything here is so much larger than life that his purple scales and hair blend perfectly with the jewels around him. Scales and gills aside, you'd say he's quite the unremarkable fellow. You're quite sure the Merrow you saw at a distance were wearing just as little, and he has old scars and fresh bruises that say he's no lily-livered layabout.

It's only as you get closer that you see his face more clearly, and something about it unsettles you. It's not his expression, although you do think that a smug smirk is unlikely to win him many chums. It's something else, too elusive to put your finger on.

His eyes rake across you as you approach, and damn it all, you had just stopped feeling mostly naked. “You look like shit,” he says, with a pout.

“Yes, well, I find being kidnapped bloody disruptive to the constitution,” you reply, stopping a few feet short of the dais he's lounging on. “And a gentleman would at least introduce himself to the chap he dragged here against his will.”

This seems to offend the stranger, who sniffs haughtily. “I'll hawe you know, English, I'm a hundred times the gentleman you'll ewer be. The nerwe a it, insultin' a kindly soul that came all the way here just to lend a helpin' hand to your ungrateful ass.”

You think the sea around you might have just frozen, you feel so cold. “How do you know that name?”

“I know all sorts a things about you, Jakey-boy,” says the stranger. He leers at you, showing teeth as sharp as knitting needles. “Soul names ain't ewen the half a it. You an' me, we got a lot in common.”

“Yes, I've always harboured a secret desire to be an oceanic gigolo,” you say. It comes out more high-pitched and squeaky than you were hoping for, but that's hysteria for you. “If you're not going to tell me what the buggery is going on, I want to see whoever's in charge! Maybe they'll tell me what's going on!”

“What's goin' on is you impressed all the wrong people, dumbass,” says the stranger. He leans back and smirks. “Nothin' new there, a course. It comes a all the raw animal magnetism a our shared Aspect, plus lackin' the more refined graces I possess.”

You suppress the urge to try and throttle him. If nothing else, you can't be certain that works on a man with gills. “Look, I hate to seem churlish, but I really am in a spot of bother and if you're just going to keep being infuriatingly cryptic then I really must be on my way.”

“I'm not bein' cryptic, you're bein' infuriatin'ly ignorant,” the stranger says. “Disgustin'ly so. It's like talkin' to a mortal.”

“I am a fucking mortal!”

“Not where it fuckin' counts!” The stranger is suddenly on his feet, all his insouciance gone. “And if you'd just stayed where you belonged none a this shit would a happened! You think I want to be slummin' it down here? I got whole palaces a gold in my realm!” He shoves you and, startled, you stagger back. “I got temples, worshippers, sacrifices! And you had ewen more, before you decided you were fed up a bein' a coddamned king a fuckin' creation and talked the whole retrograde moron mob into descendin' along with you. At least Kar had the sense to quit once he started fuckin' shit up!”

You stagger back in the face of his onslaught and lose your footing when the water pushes at you. You thrash as you go down but he doesn't even pause, just walks right on up to tower over you as you try and fail to scrabble away on the jewel-studded floor.

“They're gonna sacrifice you,” he growls. “To me. And much as I would lowe to claim your soul as part a my collection, we ain't got time to hit reset before it's game ower. Do what I say an maybe we all get to live to the next Reckonin'.” He pauses, then adds: “An' I mean a real fuckin' Reckonin', not this religious reformation seahorse shit you all been givin' the name to. What the fuck is wrong with all a you?”

You manage to get to a clear patch of floor and back to your feet, holding the coverlet together one-handed. “I told you to stop feeding me all this poppycock!”

He snickers and wiggles his eyebrows in a particularly unnerving manner, helped by the fact that they are in fact lines of colourful scales rather than hair. “Trust me, English, if I was feedin' you poppycock you'd know about it.” Just in case you missed his meaning, he makes an obscene little thrust with his hips.

 _“That's not an innuendo!”_ you yell, mostly because the alternative is quite possibly throwing up, and you think it would drift back in your face if you did.

He puts a finger across his lips. “Shh. Don't want 'em to hear and interrupt-”

There is a noise from outside. You think. It's more of a pressure wave that makes your ears pop, but it has a certain resonant quality that might qualify as sound. The stranger's face instantly sours.

“-our alone time,” he finishes. “Cod fuckin' damn it. That was the gong. We're out a time.”

“What?” You clutch at your coverlet, as if it could help anything. “You've got to get me out of here!”

“Short a magic, there's only two ways outta this buildin',” the stranger says. “The way you came in, an' the main door.”

“I don't want to be a sacrifice!” You start turning left and right in the desperate hope that he's wrong, but for all the expensive clutter, the temple is very open. There aren't even any good hiding places to be seen. You do wish you hadn't seen that lovely gilded skull rack at the back, though.

“Relax, I got a plan.” The stranger leans forward. “I skip out a this loser and into you. They ain't gonna argue with their god.”

You stop flailing in panic in order to freeze in alarm. “What? God?”

“You ain't ewen been listenin'.” The possible-god-stranger scowls. “Fuckin' typical. Newer get any thanks, ewen after ewerythin' I giwe up for you people. Yes, I'm a fuckin' god. I am currently possessin' this useless chunk a mortal flesh on account a he was tryin' to rob my temple, an' also he belongs to Kar and is therefore not completely fuckin' useless. But I am willin' to switch to your dumbass air-breathin' body so that these maniacs won't snap your neck an' butcher your body for the greater glory a me.”

“Wait.” You shake your head, which feels overstuffed. You are desperately trying to listen for footsteps that you are fairly sure don't exist underwater. “You want to... possess me?”

“Only for a little while,” says the god-stranger. “Strictly for the purposes a savin' your life.”

“And... what happens to him?” You wave towards him- or, rather, the body he's wearing. “I mean, the chap you're currently... wearing?”

“Oh, he'll be fine,” says the god-stranger. You're just starting to relax, when he adds; “Kar's lot are all expectin' to die anytime anyway. Mad fuckers.”

“Absolutely not!” you say. “If I let you possess me, you have to promise you'll save his life!”

“What makes you think I can do that?” He pouts again, but you will not be put off by such juvenile gestures, even from a self-proclaimed god.

“You're their god, aren't you? Tell them to let him go!” You hear a thud nearby, and without looking know that someone is pushing the heavy doors behind you open. “Time's nearly up, old chap. Yes or no?”

“Yes! Fine!” He throws his- or rather, the other fellow's- hands up in the water. “I'll save his worthless hide right alongside a your idiot one! _Just let me in!”_

“Alright,” you say, somewhat puzzled. “I, uh, invite you to possess me?”

A grin flashes across his face, and it puts you in mind of a shark, or a sea monster. “So glad to hear it.”

His hand reaches out to press against your forehead. Your eyes drift upwards to the statue looming overhead. As they settle on its face, you suddenly realise what was so unnerving about him. Despite being utterly different, he was somehow just the same as the great graven image- powerful, dangerous, arrogant, deadly. You are filled with the memory of a feeling, disgust and dislike, and suddenly you are very afraid. Before you can voice your doubts, the world bleeds into purple light.

The doors of the temple open, revealing a parade of Merrow adorned with gold. You do nothing, but your body turns to face them. You think that it is a good thing you cannot see yourself from the outside. You suspect you would be unnerved by what you saw.

“Finally,” says a voice that comes from your throat, but isn't yours. “You got any idea how long I been waitin' for all a you to show up?”

### Suggestions Used

_Elizabeth Culmer (edenfalling) -_ Well, what is the point of an underwater city if nobody gets to explore it? So I vote for somebody to visit Aur Palas.   
  
_Elizabeth Culmer (edenfalling) -_ Jake and/or Aradia: explore an underwater temple.   
  
_colbub -_ Eridan: Be a worshipper of one Knight of Blood, because being marked by an unknown (evil?) deity and being moirail-zoned is hard and NO ONE UNDERSTANDS (and cos you're desperate and the motto 'never give in' seems a suitably dramatic gesture. You don't know much else, really)   
  
_bookdragon5 -_ Jane/Jake == > say "POPPYCOCK!" have it be misinterpreted as innuendo   
  
_1JakoftheMoon1 -_ Jake: "Take me to your leader!" or some such demand.   
  
_BlitzMentalist -_ Jake: Feel a strange kinship with the merpirates' god, due to a shared aspect. (Though of course, you don't know that yet.)   
  
_Spyro -_ Jake: trip over the main plot.   
  
_ATT-_ Jake: Get some Counter-intuitivve Advvice.   
  


### System Notes

Jake cannot make a Knowledge: Engineering check.  
Jake's INT check = 8 VS DC 10  
JAKE FAILS TO GRASP THE PRINCIPLES OF MERROW ARCHITECTURE. HIS ADOPTIVE FAMILY WOULD BE DISAPPOINTED IN HIM.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy 4/13 tomorrow, everyone! :)
> 
> And thank you all for reading this far. I honestly when I started did not expect this many people to be into this fic, or for it to go on so long. It's pretty overwhelming, and I wanted to say that I am happy to have entertained you thus far. Long may it continue!


	114. ==> Terezi: Administer Justice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Hero point votes:**  
>  John 1
> 
>  **Current Hero Points:**  
>  John 3/5, ~~Rose 5/5, Dave 3/3, Jade 3/3~~  
>  Karkat 3/5, ~~Gamzee 3/3, Terezi 5/5~~  
>  ~~Sollux 3/3, Aradia 3/3, Kanaya 5/5~~  
>  Jane 3/5, Jake 4/5, ~~Roxy 3/3, Dirk 3/3~~

## ==> Terezi: Administer Justice

By the time you have woken up and taken your leave from the roomful of still-hungover cultists, the rain has stopped and the morning fog has been burned away by the sun. It's less damp but as you blink, dazzled in the light, you think to yourself that it would be worth the time to find shadowed lenses like those Kanaya wears. You do not fail to notice that Karkat is coated with dried mud that wasn't there last night but surrounded by strangers isn't the time to bring it up. That you plan to save for later, when you can really make him squirm.

Gwiryn and Dyffyd stop at the end of the road.

“We're staying at the sign of the Broken Wheel,” Gwiryn says, waving down the other fork. “You know it?”

Karkat grumbles something, but Kanaya nods. “I believe we can locate it.”

“Then we shall see you later,” says Gwiryn. Dyffyd is still silent, his arms wrapped around the battered journal that Karkat grudgingly handed over this morning. You'll admit that you're not exactly comfortable in letting it out of your sight, but you judge they're more trustworthy than Gamzee at least.

“Walk under the hand of the lady,” you say. They seem a little surprised, but take the blessing for what it is.

“Far be it from me to dictate your choices,” says Kanaya, as you resume your journey back to the Guild. “But it might be wiser in future to avoid overt expressions of our religion.”

“Your religion,” says Karkat. Gamzee just leers. You ignore them both; the expression was an unthinking courtesy, but it occurs to you that you haven't more than a basic idea of how the surface people view the gods.

“They follow the Celestial deities,” you say, more to yourself than others. “But I've heard some other oaths, at the Guild-”

“It is a complicated matter,” says Kanaya, stepping over a muddy puddle. “I do not fully understand myself. I have spent most of my time on the Storm Coast, and there it is considered high heresy to follow any faith but the Pantheon of Light. I have noticed they are more accepting here in the north, but even so, I would exercise caution.”

“Because it makes so much fucking difference which overpowered taint-humping gaggle of divine lunatics people prostrate themselves for.” Karkat glowers at the cobblestones, although that might just be that he's trying to avoid the sunlight.

“Oh, it makes every difference, Cherry Pop,” you tell him, draping an arm around his shoulder. “And none at all.”

You think that he waits a moment before shoving you off. You ignore Gamzee glaring at you.

“So, what do people believe on the surface?” you ask Kanaya.

She smiles, just slightly. “That would depend on where you are. I know little of the cultures beyond these lands. Here in the Duchies and the Princedoms of the North, I believe they once worshipped another pantheon of gods, but were overcome by internal strife and an invasion many generations ago. In name they follow the faith of the Aasimar, but it is clear they have not forgotten their past entirely.”

You nod, deep in thought. If, as you suspect, whatever ancient faith these people held encompassed your goddess as much as Karkat's patron, you are likely to get some leeway on oaths and turns of phrase, but not nearly so much on actual worship. And the particularly devout may be all the more eager to disapprove.

Distracted as you are, you almost dismiss the child who runs past you, jostling you slightly as she goes. That moment is all it takes for the little cutpurse to get a head start on you.

You grin, and in your very best Lawkeeper voice yell, “STOP THERE!”

She runs faster. You give chase.

Truth be told, it's not much of a pursuit. She's smaller and more nimble, and with the sun blinding you she quickly slips from sight. You slow and come to a stop halfway down the street, realising that you've lost her.

A hand grabs your arm, and Karkat hauls you to the left.

“She went this way,” he says.

You frown, puzzled. You know you've got sharper eyes. “You saw her?”

Karkat huffs. “Stupid fucking bluebelly. No, I didn't see her. It's just where I'd go.”

You don't argue. Gamzee and Kanaya keep pace as you chase down the narrow gap between buildings Karkat leads you to. It's not wide enough to count as an alley; overhead, the upper floors lean on one another, making a dark tunnel strewn with debris. Despite the roar of the city, everything seems quiet here. You are reminded sharply of the Shanties.

“She's all up and vanished out of thin air,” says Gamzee. He wounds astonished, like the little pickpocket really did work magic.

“I know you can't help being an idiot, but you could at least keep it to yourself,” says Karkat. With a sharp kick, he knocks aside some planks that turn out to be a loose barrier over a hole in the wall. It's too small for any of you to walk through upright, so you duck through one at a time. None of you argue about Karkat going first. If one of you is least likely to get stabbed by jumpy thieves, it's him.

On the other side of the hole is a gloom that is almost overwhelming as your eyes adjust. You hear scurrying feet, clattering. There's more than one thief here.

“Wait!”

Karkat's Common is awful. Yours is just as bad. But it's enough to make them all freeze- in fear or surprise, you can't guess.

“Bunch of amateur fucking idiots,” Karkat grumbles, in Undercommon. “You don't stop because someone says, you run faster!”

You nod, and politely avoid mentioning the tone of almost parental concern in his voice. Looking around, you can see that the building you're in has been abandoned for some time, the shutters boarded closed and the floor strewn with the debris of squatters. You can also see small, wide-eyed faces staring out at you all.

They all have pointed ears. Rather than risk your Common, you switch to High Elven and hope at least some of them had half an education. “We're looking for the one who stole my purse,” you say, and run your fingers along the hilt of your swordcane.

There is some muttering, and then a girl is shoved forward. She's wearing so many layers of grubby clothing that even telling that much is a testament to your investigator's instincts. Ignoring Karkat's low growl, you approach her. All around you the room is silent, fearful.

You pluck your purse out of her unresisting hands and pull a single gold piece out of it before returning your hand to your sword.

“Heads or tails?” you ask her. She squeaks, and you grin your very best terrifying, toothy smile.

“Heads it is,” you say, and flip the coin. It spins in the air and falls with a clink to the cracked floorboards, but you don't see it. You closed your eyes the moment it flipped into the air.

“Guess you're getting away with it,” you say, with mock cheer. There is a long pause.

“B-but-” The girl's voice is wavering, uncertain. “The coin-”

You crack one eye open, even as you kick the gold piece aside with your toe. It's hardly a drop in the ocean to you, but it will feed every child in here for months. “What coin?” Slowly, cautiously, she ventures a smile. It is a beautiful moment.

That is when the fire hits.

You dive aside barely in time, but you still aren't fast enough to avoid the burning magic. Karkat hits the ground next to you, cloak smouldering, and the room fills with screams. Old wood catches fire quickly.

You're staggering to your feet when fire lashes out again. Karkat rolls aside but the arc doesn't strike for you; too late to act, you see the little girl standing, wide-eyed, in its path.

Karkat says nothing, just stretches out his hand. The air fills with a desperate, determined note, the smell of rust and iron, and you see the fire curl back towards him. It's not enough; the girl screams and falls, bleeding, even as new wounds seep open on his skin.

“Karkat!” Kanaya runs forwards to grab him and pull him back from the flames. You jump to your feet and see Gamzee already running full-tilt towards the hole you entered by.

“Whatever that is, don't you dare do it again!” Kanaya is shouting, over Karkat's howling. You can hear curses in there, mutated pieces of Undercommon that you barely recognise as words. You breathe in and smell smoke, blood, fear. Then you get to your feet and follow in Gamzee's wake.

A crime has been committed, the culprit is running. What can you do but chase?

### Suggestions Used

 _1JakoftheMoon1 -_ Terezi: Inquire a little more deeply about the surface worlds major cultures.

 _ATT -_ Anyone: Chase down a little pickpocket.

 _Ms Arano -_ Terezi: administer justice to a thief

 _ttd0000 -_ Terezi: Use coin flip to decide justice while temporarily blind (You know the scene: "I see no coin. I'm fucking blind, remember!)

 _1JakoftheMoon1 -_ Team Evil: Initiate plan "Divine Discord"

 _Emiko842 -_ Karkat, be really stupid with this new 'Taking damage for other people power'

 _HeresyIncarnate -_ Kanaya: Save Karkat From The Stupidity Of Taking Damage For Other People.

 _Arienna -_ Mohan: Chase these idiots until something kills you in a horribly ironic fashion.

 _mzingalwa -_ Karkat: Imaginatively curse the existance of one of the most recent enemies you have gained and send scarlock to curse said enemy (without actually realizing it)

 _colbub -_ Karkat: Swear at a fleeing assassin so hard, they freeze and pee their pants in fear

 _Musius -_ Karkat: See an orphanage/urchin hideout (and some orphans/street urchins themselves) burn. Don't even bother to hide your Bloody Tears of Rage.

### System Notes

SPOTTING THE PICKPOCKET  
Terezi's perception check = 23 VS Pickpocket's sleight of hand check = 19  
TEREZI JUST BARELY SPOTS THE PICKPOCKET AT THE LAST MOMENT

BURNING ARC DAMAGE  
Burns 2 targets, DC16 reflex save for half  
TARGET 1 (Karkat): Reflex save = 22 PASS  
50% 6D6 = 8 fire damage  
TARGET 2 (Terezi): Reflex save = 17 PASS  
50% 3D6 = 6 fire damage

BURNING ARC DAMAGE  
Burns 2 targets, DC16 reflex save for half  
TARGET 1 (Karkat): Reflex save = 24 PASS  
50% 6D6 = 8 fire damage  
TARGET 2 (Pickpocket): Reflex save = 15 FAIL  
50% 3D6 = 12 fire damage  
KARKAT USES HIS SHIELD OTHER POWER TO TAKE HALF THE DAMAGE DEALT TO THE LITTLE GIRL.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Arghragh last minute writing and updating.
> 
> Hopefully I have set enough stuff up for the next round! :)


	115. -- 617: wardenSepulcher --

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Hero point votes:**  
>  John 1  
> Karkat 2  
> VOTING ROUND WILL CONTINUE TO THE NEXT FILLER CHAPTER. NO AWARD IS MADE AT THIS PRESENT TIME.
> 
>  **Current Hero Points:**  
>  John 3/5, ~~Rose 5/5, Dave 3/3, Jade 3/3~~  
>  Karkat 3/5, ~~Gamzee 3/3, Terezi 5/5~~  
>  ~~Sollux 3/3, Aradia 3/3, Kanaya 5/5~~  
>  Jane 3/5, Jake 4/5, ~~Roxy 3/3, Dirk 3/3~~

A young AELFEN stands in his room. Before we get started, he would like to ask that we respect some boundaries. This area is dangerous and something unspeakable could happen if someone were to just go wandering off alone. Or touching stuff that clearly, obviously, is not for touching. Break anything and he will be quite upset. Are we quite clear? Okay, good. Then we can get on with the introductions!

[ ](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/bl06qzze3ezd029/Salomo%20Ikhnaton.png?dl=0)

==> Who’s this OVERBEARING FUSSBUDGET?

You are now SALOMO IKHNATON and you stand as the lone guardian of the LOST CITY OF EE, a position you take very seriously. It’s hard not to be serious about it in a city full of ANCIENT WRITINGS, ESOTERIC CARVINGS, and traps- LOTS AND LOTS OF TRAPS. Luckily as lost cities go it isn’t very big, or you’d never be able to keep them all in good working order. Your room is near the top of the central temple, where you get plenty of light and can see any pesky visitors coming through the SURROUNDING JUNGLE, and you’ve decorated it with things taken from around the place. Sometimes you feel a little guilty about taking the artefacts from their HALLOWED RESTING PLACES, but you find their presence inexplicably comforting.

Your days are mostly spent either in maintenance of the city defences- which is a full-time job, especially when something trips the giant rolling ball trap or lets the man-eating beetles loose- or in study of the many, many SCROLLS AND CARVINGS your ancestors left behind. Not that you know if you’re actually related to any of them, but you figure that looking after their ancient city and keeping their hallowed tombs safe from repeated desecration should get you a little leeway on the cultural inheritance front. You’ve developed quite the interest in ARCHITECTURE and MECHANICS- which they wrote about a lot- and in various forms of CRYPTIC RELIGIOUS LORE, which they wrote about even more.

The time you spend in quiet study and strenuous maintenance is broken up by your studies of various MARTIAL FORMS and exercises. You’ve always been pretty BRAWNY, but you like learning to use some of your ANCESTRAL WEAPONS anyway. It makes you feel closer to the spiritual centre of the place. You also like to debate ethics and spiritual matters with your friends, when they’re up for it. Open debate is the road to understanding, in your mind, and you appreciate their willingness to engage with you in the arena of words and concepts even if they can’t join you in the actual arena with the big spike pit.

You have five good friends who you will soon play a game with. Your favourite DEBATING PARTNER and best friend is ST; he could use some humility and probably a boot up the arse for good measure, but he’s smart and there’s a sweet guy in there somewhere. After him, you probably like talking to CH best. Her views are a little simplistic but there’s something pure in the strength of her devotions. CN is a good friend, although you wish she would stop sending you LETHAL PLANTLIFE, and DX is a good source of gossip on raiding and traps even if she doesn’t show the PROPER RESPECT for the deceased. At least she’s not as bad as IN. You hate that he’s the best person to go to with your trap-related issues. What he does to those poor, venerated DEPARTED SOULS- you are fairly sure he’s evil, not that he will actually listen to you on the matter. Douchebag.

You talk to your friends on the AETHERNET, using the spiritmark wardenSepulcher [WS], and you speak in a manner that is calm... level... and prone to thoughtful pauses...

[ ](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/fzgw6z5qmn0fu9j/LORAS%20Titled.png?dl=0)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I cocked up and miscounted my chapters. But in my defence I was stinking ill this week and even if I had remembered I doubt you would have got anything different.
> 
> I will just have to do more chapters before the next filler. *sighs*


	116. ==> Aradia: Don't Drown

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Hero point votes:**  
>  John 1  
> Karkat 2
> 
>  **Current Hero Points:**  
>  John 3/5, ~~Rose 5/5, Dave 3/3, Jade 3/3~~  
>  Karkat 3/5, ~~Gamzee 3/3, Terezi 5/5~~  
>  ~~Sollux 3/3, Aradia 3/3, Kanaya 5/5~~  
>  Jane 3/5, Jake 4/5, ~~Roxy 3/3, Dirk 3/3~~

## ==> Aradia: Don't Drown

From beneath, the surface of the ocean looks almost calm. The moving water scatters the sun, turns it into a roving pattern of light and shade, but that's the only sign that there's anything above you beyond still water. You're already too far down to reach it again, dragged into the darkness by the weight of your waterlogged clothes. If anyone is still trying to reach you, they won't succeed.

This was a _really terrible plan._

You thrash against the water, trying to push yourself up even as the surface soars away. Every kick makes your lungs burn, and there's water in your nose, and you're going to _die,_ you're going to drown in the ocean and this was SO STUPID. You don't want to die, you don't, and there's not a damn bit of magic in your body that will do a thing about it! Your vision is going black, everything fading down to a single tunnel. You have to breath. You have to.

Something grabs your leg and you scream, bubbles of air pouring out of you before you manage to slam your mouth shut. Too late; you've already lost a good half of what was remaining, and now lungs that were aching feel hollow. You're crying with trying not to breathe, even as you kick out to try and dislodge whatever it is that's caught you.

 _Wait until I'm dead!_ you think, viciously. The tug on your ankle is absolutely not what you want, and you lash out at the figure rising in front of you. Strong hands grab your wrists, stop you from fighting back.

The girl in front of you smiles, then kisses you. You're too shocked to resist as her lips pry your mouth open, and a breath of warm, sweet-tasting air flows into your mouth. She pulls back with a happy bubble, and you take a breath before you can stop yourself.

When it doesn't kill you, you take another, and another, until you're hyperventilating. Whatever spell she put on you, you're breathing air, not water; it seems to change the moment it enters your body, becoming something you can breathe. You gasp and pant and then flail in panic when you notice that you're still sinking. The girl giggles- you can't hear it, but it's obvious from the way her shoulders shake- and catches your arms, easily holding you up with a lazy kick of her feet. Her webbed, grey feet.

You stare at your rescuer. She's not a Merrow, but instead the strangest tiefling you've ever seen. She's as grey-skinned as you, a pair of delicate outward-curving horns atop her head, but where you have ears she has gill-lined fins and there are webs between her fingers and toes. She doesn't dress like any tiefling you've ever seen, either. Most members of your kind are drab dressers; even Kanaya tends to prefer darker colours. This girl- and she is a girl, younger than you by several years- is draped in diaphanous veils, bright blues and greens and pinks that you didn't even realise were possible to dye in. They float around her like the tendrils of a jellyfish, and now you look you think that you can see her glowing slightly, too. There's a luminous quality to her eyes.

She smiles at your staring, then kicks away and tugs on your wrist. With no better road to follow you let her drag you downwards, using what control you have to keep yourself from veering too much. She's stronger than she looks, much stronger. You don't think you could break her grip- your hand might come clean off your arm first.

At first you're just descending into inky blackness, but as you go deeper lights start to twinkle like stars beneath you. The water around you starts to feel heavy, like pushing through syrup. When your guide notices you struggling, she turns and presses a finger to your forehead. The weight lifts from you in an instant, and then you resume your downward journey.

The stars dance, and then resolve into fish- strange, misshapen things that dart between hollow rocks. The ocean floor below you is only visible in snatches. The other tiefling doesn't hesitate; she pulls you past it all and into a chasm in the ocean floor, spiralling deeper and deeper down. Your fear, long since replaced by wonder, begins to creep back into your bones. This is too deep, it whispers. Too far down, too far in. Your guide smiles back over her shoulder, and you can't help but notice her sharp, needle-like teeth.

Below the world of glowing fish your darkvision shows you silent fissures, vents of bubbling water surrounded by things that you could almost think came from another plane altogether. The girl weaves between them, dragging you behind her, and it is how you imagine flying to be. Ahead of you a wall of rock looms, the end of the chasm. Your guide slows, and her feet drop to the ground. You follow, and the last few yards of your journey are spent walking up to the rock.

In it there is an archway. It is definitely an arch, and not a cave; the stone has been carved into classical aasimar columns and a lintel, and painted in gold and deep, purplish red. Beyond you can see a dim golden glow. You pause on the threshold, and you guide turns, beckons you on.

You follow. At this point, you are sure you can't survive without her.

The passage past the arch slopes steeply upward, until it's no longer a hall but a tunnel. You swim up to the light and break through the surface into a large, circular chamber with a domed ceiling. Your eyes adjust to the dim light, and you see a mural painted across it. Directly overhead, above the centre of the large pool you have emerged in, is the image of a sphere covered in black and white squares. Further out are two other circles, one royal purple, one gold. Both are decorated with spires, towers, crenellated walls. You paddle in place, turning to take in the other images that decorate the furthest edges of the ceiling. Each is a painted window, looking out onto a different strange landscape.

“You can sea it just as shell from over here, you know!”

You twist around to see the strange girl sitting at the edge of the pool, her hand extended, and bob over to let her haul you out. The sides of the pool are faced in marble, lined with gold leaf. You lie flat on it for what feels like an age, sodden and panting for breath. The chamber is spectacular, but every moment just brings more questions to mind.

“Is this real?” you ask. “Did I die?”

“Yes!” says your guide, her face hovering into view. “But not _reelcently._ You're eely here, as much as anyone ever is!”

Up close and in dry air, she doesn't look as young any more. In the same way that even the most beautifully carved statue still won't look the same as a real person turned to stone, her youth looks like a clever copy. There's nothing you can put your finger on, but it's... fuzzy, somehow. Masking something much, much older.

“What are you?” you ask, sitting up.

She pouts. “Whale, I don't cuttle that very nice! I'm your frond, silly!”

The marble is slippery when wet, but you manage to stand. “I didn't say you weren't,” you said. “Although I don't remember you at all, I'm afraid! But you aren't what you look like, are you?”

Her smile grows sad. “You reely don't remember, do you?”

“Sorry,” you say, because she looks so sad about it. She doesn't reply, just turns and walks away around the edge of the pool. You follow her, boots splashing in puddles, and try to keep the mural on the ceiling in sight.

“What is this place?” you ask.

She looks back over her shoulder to give you a dazzling smile. “You like it?” she asks, sounding for all the world like an excited hatchling. “I spent an age bubble-ding it!”

It's not really an answer, but she's already skipping off through a low arch in the wall. You take one last look around, then duck after her. The golden light isn't brighter in the corridor beyond, but it is more intense. You find yourself blinking to try and clear your vision, but it doesn't work.

At the end the corridor opens out into a throne room. There really is nothing else to call it; a long, arched hall of coral and sea-smoothed stone, leading up to a tall dais and a delicate filigree chair twice as tall as an orc. The floor is awash with a couple of inches of water, and the golden light is so thick that you can feel yourself breathing it. The girl is ahead of you, impossibly far ahead given how closely you were following her, and you watch as she ascends the twelve steps up to the throne and sits in it. The moment she is seated, bands of gold shimmer into existence around her ankles, her wrists, her biceps, her throat. A coronet grows on her brow, inlaid with pearls and shimmering opals. Her left hand is outstretched, and water bursts from it, spinning outwards until it forms a carved silver trident. There are forks at both ends.

In the blink of an eye, she looks every inch a queen.

“Who are you?” you ask.

She smiles. “Oh, I have so minnow names these days! But _you_ can call me Feferi!”

“Feferi?” you echo. The name feels familiar but you know you've never heard it before. You look again at the throne room, the cavernous space around you. The arch you came in by has vanished. “This place... it's not real, is it?”

“It is reel!” Feferi leans forward. _“It's just not fishical.”_ She waves her free hand in an expansive gesture. “It was eelsier to meet you here. We both have such an af-fin-ity for the place!”

You think about this. “So I'm still drowning?”

“Yes!” She seems delighted that you have worked this out.

“How long do I have?”

“Until you drown,” says Feferi. “But in here, that can be as long as we like!”

You nod. That makes sense. Dreams always take longer on the inside.

“Why?” you ask her. “There must be loads of people drowning all the time. Why bring me here?”

“What makes you shore I don't bring everyone?” asks Feferi. She chuckles at your expression. “I don't! But like I said, we're fronds. But that's not what this is aboat!”

“It's not?” You don't protest her claims of friendship. It feels true, somehow, in a way that you don't feel inclined to question.

“No!” She leans forward in her throne and clears her throat. “Your frond is in grave pearlil!” she proclaims. It's all very dramatic and imposing, and the effect is spoiled by a small glubbing noise that escapes her immediately afterwards. “He has been kelptured by the followers of my ancient adversary, and unless we take action at once his very sole is in danger!”

You have no idea how you know that she said “sole” and not “soul”, but you have to struggle to keep a straight face.

“I clam offer you my aid, at a price,” she says. Then she chuckles. “It's not a huge price, actualsea, but I do like saying that!”

You smile. “It is dramatic, isn't it?” Your smile fades again as you see the lights playing across the columns, waves of radiance like light through water. “But I still don't know what's going on, and I'm not agreeing to anything blind!”

Feferi sighs. “I kelp forgetting how manatee things you can't remember. Alright.” She settles back in her throne. “It's all to do with your marks,” she says. Your lower back tingles as you think about the dark birthmark on your skin.

“What are they?” you ask.

She pouts. “I can't! There's a geas.”

“A geas? Who cast it?”

She shakes her head, and you could kick yourself. Of course she can't tell you. But to bind a creature as powerful as this...

… that is a _lot_ of power.

“What can you tell me?” you ask.

“Whale, the marks are a sign of power,” she says. “And an affinity. A being like me cod get a lot of power from possessing someone like you, and even oar if the affinity matched! That's why your frond Jake is in so much danger- Eridan has the same affinity as him, and is a _shellfish piece of carp!”_

Everything rings with her anger: the air, the walls, the light. You stand still and it breaks over you like a wave, settling out in ripples from you. Feferi looks impressed, if anything.

“Anyway,” she says, all sunny cheer again. “That's why I sink you cod let me posses you- just for the porpoise of rescuing your frond, of course!”

“Possess me?” You step back. No amount of mysterious faith that this being is your friend can make that sound not alarming.

If Feferi notices your discomfort, she doesn't show it. “That's right! We're not the same affinity, but it _should_ work, and you'll need the power I can give to beat Eridan! And to breathe underwater, too.”

“How do I know you'll leave?” you ask.

“Becod we're not the same affinity!” Feferi is practically bouncing in her throne. “I can't hold on for too long, even if I want to! And I don't.” The light suddenly dims, and the chamber feels smaller, thicker, deeper. Feferi's voice dropped to a whisper. “You need to remember!”

“Remember what?” you ask, but the light is already back to normal and Feferi is beaming at you like she said nothing.

“So will you do it?” she asks.

You consider your options. If you say yes, you'll be agreeing to let an unknown entity that you trust for no good reason control your body. You have no idea what she's really got planned, or if she's telling you the truth.

On the other hand, if you say no, you're going to drown, and whatever happens to Jake... happens. It's the second point that really decides you.

“Deal,” you say.

Feferi smiles, and stands. The walls around you crack and shatter; water rushes in from all directions, soaking you to the skin. The figure on the throne blossoms into pink-tinted light, and you stagger, fall.

Your eyes snap open.

All around you is black water, empty ocean. You can see distant fish flit past through your darkvision, but there is no burn in your lungs, no dragging weight from your clothes. Your hands are moving in lazy circles against the water; you look at one and see webs between your fingers. Raising a hand to your ear, you feel the ridges of a fin and giggle when your fingers tickle against gills. It comes out as a _glub-glub-glub,_ bubbles vanishing upwards in the water.

 _This way,_ whispers a voice in your head that sounds like Feferi. Your body kicks out without any choice from you, propelling you deeper down and out. Your mouth opens and sings, a song that flows out through the water, a signal to identify your passenger to any creatures that can listen.

Your mind is filled with thoughts of rescue; hers, with thoughts of stopping a danger before it grows. Together you push onwards into the deeper ocean.

### Suggestions Used

 _RoSH (RoSH95) -_ Feferi: Do something ADORABUBBL---E!!!! Be relevant 38D

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is basically setup. My cunning plan is to make up for the lack of system/combat lately by having LOADS OF FIGHTS AT ONCE then crying because I overworked myself.
> 
> This is a stupid plan but I will do it anyway.
> 
> See you all next time on LODAD!


	117. ==> Sollux: Oh Shit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Hero point votes:**  
>  John 1  
> Karkat 2
> 
>  **Current Hero Points:**  
>  John 3/5, ~~Rose 5/5, Dave 3/3,~~ Jade 1/3  
>  Karkat 3/5, ~~Gamzee 3/3, Terezi 5/5~~  
>  Sollux 0/3, ~~Aradia 3/3, Kanaya 5/5~~  
>  Jane 3/5, Jake 4/5, ~~Roxy 3/3, Dirk 3/3~~

## ==> Sollux: Oh Shit

The campfire flickers merrily in the shadow of a giant stone frog. Around it, the debris of five messy campers provides new perches for the gem-like flesh and blood frogs of the lost temple. The remains of the stew are congealing into a sticky mess in the pot, and the night air is cool and clear.

As far as you are concerned, the pleasant surroundings may as well be a leaky sewer tunnel. Your shit-heap is by far the messiest of the five, despite stern competition from Jade and Bec's gnawed-bone-pile, and you are sprawled on top of it trying to make sense of two parchments covered in theoretically unrelated data. You intend to demonstrate that the theory in question is pigshit. So far all you've managed to do is give yourself a headache.

“Tho how can you be thure it wath a divergent thivilithation?” you ask Sarona.

The aasimar academic glances up from her own notebook. “The archaeological record is quite clear,” she says. Even you can't pick up a trace of condescension in her voice; she seems to be delighted that someone is taking an interest in her life's work. “All the earliest evidence we've found of aasimar and tiefling settlements points to co-occupation; it wasn't until they began to encounter other sophont species that two distinct civilisations began to form.”

You make an irritated noise. Her evidence, laid out before you in notebooks and field journals, is compelling, but... “But Jade'th right! Biologically thethe aren't even clothe to the thame thpethieth, and neither of them bearth any rethemblanthe to any of the other thinking ratheth!” You scowl at your travelling companion's sketches, spindly family trees that cross species and time. “How do they relate?”

“Well, magically, my species is very similar to tieflings,” says Sarona. “The distinction between Divine and Infernal magic is frankly ludicrous from an academic viewpoint; in both cases, we are discussing magic gifted directly from the nature of what we might call a _being of power,_ rather than drawn from the astral plane as is the case with arcane magic. The nature of the being is irrelevant, aside from their capacity to serve as a source of magical energy. Now, my theory is that in the case of aasimar and tieflings, we are not drawing power from a particular god but from our own souls- a religion of one, if you would prefer. At any rate, I should imagine that such a nature could only be as the result of a divine edict. If the gods created the two species directly, independent of any others, it could explain what you're seeing.”

“But why?” You trace the lines on the drawing. “It'th not like there'th a thortage. Look, you've got your elveth and koboldth and dragonth here, and thith ith orcth and goblinth and dwarveth... even trollth are thort of thmart, even if they are fucking awful.” You scowl, upset without really knowing why. “We thould call them _thitty regenerating murder-twigth_ and leave the name Troll for thomething better.”

“Still trying to figure all that out?” asks Henzar, walking back into the camp circle with an armful of firewood. Ursus is with him, and the older druid glares, stuck between disapproving of Jade for giving you the evolution diagrams and you for understanding them.

“Thith maketh no thenthe,” you grumble, ignoring Ursus. His opinion is completely irrelevant to your life. Across the campfire, Jade rolls her eyes and goes back to rubbing Bec's tummy.

Henzar drops down beside you. “What I don't understand is, if they're completely different species, how is a half-elf half-tiefling possible?”

Your scowl deepens. “I'm an elf, dipthit. I magically imprethed from a tiefling, which thouldn't even be pothible thinthe your thpethieth carrieth divine magic and elveth are hatched by arcane power, but I gueth thomeone fucked about with my egg.”

“It's not unheard of,” says Sarona, altogether too fucking cheerily. “I spent some time studying elven hatchings as part of my thesis on inherent magical attunements, and there are accounts of elven eggs being quickened by other varieties of arcane magic. Any sorcerer or wizard could do it, with the right focus. What I find fascinating is the extent of your attunement- you sleep, don't you?”

You shift on your stomach and avoid her eyes. You don't really want to think about how much of a freak you are. “Thometimeth,” you admit. Not enough, Aradia would say. Would have said.

Great, now you want to fucking cry.

“But that's my point!” Sarona declares, oblivious to your misery. She's an angelic golden bundle of ink-stained asshole, in your mind. “Elves are biologically incapable of sleep! That's why they need arcane quickening; their soul literally needs to leave their body via the astral to allow them to dream. I've never heard of a variant hatching that could alter basic biological functions that way.”

“Like I thaid,” you mutter. “Thome athhole clearly fucked with my egg.” You close your eyes and refuse to think about the Deep Caverns, skittering in the dark, or twisted half-drow half-spider monsters that are just as impossible as your fucked-up body. Sir Cosbie has stories of a wizardly companion who looks like you, a companion who was near Golgesi with him. You have soft white hair and sharp, angular bones, just like Karkat and Gamzee and Kanaya and Terezi. Maybe that's just all coincidence but for once you're not interested in learning more about a particular magical puzzle. This road is never, never going to lead anywhere good.

The campsite has fallen quiet. Too quiet.

“Where are the frogs?” asks Jade.

You look around and sure enough, they're gone. The air is empty of the steady background creak of a few thousand amphibians vying for the title of “biggest throat in the temple” and the nearby perches are suspiciously bare of bright, toxic bodies. At no point in your life have you professed to know jack shit about frogs, but you are a professional adventurer. In your line of work, it's common knowledge that when the animals suddenly vanish, you draw your weapon.

Since your weapon of choice is arcane might, you abandon your pile of notes and get up off your shit-heap. Around you your companions are doing the same; gun at the ready, Jade and Bec lead your little group out of the flickering circle of light and into the starlit shadows of the temple. There is no shortage of those; between the statuary and the pools and the greenery, the whole place is full of nooks, crannies and hidey-holes.

After ten minutes of jumping at every last rustle and shifting patch of darkness, Jade holds out her hand to call a halt. The whole group of you stagger to a stop on the shore of a large pool, standing in the shadow of large gem-studded gazebo leaning against the wall of the canyon. It's very gaudy.

“I see it,” your companion whispers. Her finger points to something which, thanks to your darkvision, you see immediately. A very, very large snake is winding its way along the shores of the lake. You don't know a lot about snakes, but it is _definitely_ bigger than you are- thinner, but long enough that it makes no difference. You wonder if attacking would just make things worse.

“What do we do?” whispers Sarona. You remember belatedly that you're with three druids.

“Back away?” suggests Jade. “I don't think it'll go after us if there's easier prey.”

“We should consider moving our camp to outside the canyon,” says Ursus. “There are unlikely to be more, but-”

Whatever he was about to say is cut off by a loud cracking noise from behind. You turn and discover in a moment of horror that the gazebo is, in fact, not a fucking gazebo at all.

The gigantic snake behind you rears up from the rocks it was resting on. If you thought the other snake was big, this one is a titan; its neck was more than thick enough to form the roof of a structure, and its maw is big enough to swallow any one of you whole. You're already reaching for your magic when its head darts forward. Jade screams and panic surges; the giant snake rears with her tiny form gripped in its teeth.

“Jade!” you scream. Sarona's voice cracks out and glittering spellfire shoots past, lighting the snake up with glittering gold. Jade is squirming and you reach for something, anything that will stop it from swallowing her or biting down. The power that shrieks out of you isn't arcane; it's older and colder and tastes of death, and the fucking snake doesn't take a blind bit of notice so you reach down into a burning pit of power you never knew you had and try again. You barely even notice Bec streaming past, growling and worrying at the snake's tail. You've never felt more drained in your life and the snake, the _fucking snake,_ doesn't seem to have noticed a thing.

Behind you Sarona shouts in alarm. You glance back to see the smaller snake entangling itself around the academic, but Henzar is already rushing forward with magic on his lips. You turn back as Ursus bellows a spell at the giant snake, but it doesn't affect it.

Your heart hits your boots as you realise Jade is going to die. Not that the rest of you won't follow soon after.

Then, a miracle. Nothing divine about it, just a moment of sheer dumb idiot luck- the snake opens its mouth to bite, and Jade tumbles out. She's covered in blood and she hits the ground hard, but you see her crawling away and it gives you heart. Ignoring the battle behind you, you reach for power you can trust. You have to twist the power hard to get it into shape, pour more into it than you usually would. Brilliant bolts of blue and red shoot from your fingers and batter the snake, just as something deep inside its gullet goes _BOOM._ It rears back, shrieking, and you glance again at Jade. She's grinning in triumph, and you think you see an empty space on her belt where a powder horn once was.

You start to grin.

Ursus shouts his spell again and the giant snake freezes, magic flickering over its skin. A moment later the power rains down, broken, but in that moment Jade scrambles further away from its maw and you take the opportunity to cast the same spell again. The snake hisses loud enough to shake stone, blood oozing from between its scales. Its beady eyes fix on you, and you dash for the dubious protection of a half-shattered wall. You cast sight of the smaller snake shaking off its own paralysis, and fire flickering into being in Henzar's hand.

The ground trembles as the giant snake starts to close in on you, ignoring Bec still chewing on its tail. You start regretting your cockiness. _Congratulations, dumbass, you pissed it off!_ Ducking down, you hope like hell the wall is enough to hold it off. You can hear Jade healing herself, and grit your teeth. She was literally in its mouth and managed to damage it; you can't cluckbeast out now.

You bob up and find yourself face-to-face with the monster. The spell you were trying to hold fizzles in an instant; you barely even notice the fire bursting against the monster's side. Your arms fly up to cover your face in total uselessness as its head darts forward, smashing the ruined wall aside.

Teeth split into your flesh, spear you, and you scream in pain and terror. You're dead, you're dead, you swear to all the fucking gods you're dead but _you're still moving,_ oh fuck...

There's magic being bellowed down below. You hear it as you drift into a horrible, calm place. Everything is moving so slowly here; you flick dispassionately through the tricks you know, looking for one that will save your worthless hide. The last dregs of the cold inevitability wrap around you as you cast, electricity bursting out of your skin to arc into every wet, slithery point of the snake's mouth. It spits you out in an instant and you drift like a feather, carried by the power of your words to the ground.

You land and everything is fire and thrashing trees and shouting. You can feel your heart beating. Nothing hurts.

The giant snake starts trying to slither backwards. There's something you should be doing? You throw more force bolts after it and it shudders, listing to the side. Jade is beside you; you blink at her as she drops to her knees and healing gold pours out of her hands. The holes in your body close up. You almost miss them. Dying sounded... easier.

Henzar flings his hands out and fire envelops the giant snake's head. It collapses with a ground-shaking thud. There is no sign of the smaller snake.

“Kill it,” you rasp, staggering back to your feet with Jade's help. You feel dizzy. “Kill it, kill it, _kill it!”_

Between you, you hack at the thing until it is very definitely not waking up later. By the time you are done, you're all drenched in blood and the strange floaty feeling is gone. You make a note to ask a healer about it later, when you can stand up without trembling. You haven't felt this exhausted in years; your mind keeps replaying the moment when the snake bit down.

You're all here. Nobody even seems badly hurt any more. Gods fucking _bless_ magic.

“That was incredible,” says Sarona, her face bright. You think she's talking about the fight, and you're about to tell her to shut the fuck up, when she says... “Where did you learn divine magic? I didn't think sorcerers could.”

You gape at her. “What?”

“Back there, in the battle,” she says, gushing. “You used divine power! I mean, it didn't work, but the signs were unmistakeable.”

You think of the ticking clock in your core, the moment where you touched the threads of destiny and felt them binding, tugging, ending...

“I'm an arcane cathter,” you tell her. “You mutht be mithtaken.”

Jade's lips thin. She knows about the mark of Doom. You wish you didn't.

Sarona looks as if she is about to argue, when Henzar shouts from a short distance away.

“There's a cave!” he says, waving from beyond the giant snake corpse. “It was blocking it, but I think it goes deeper!”

You all share a look.

“We'll look in the morning,” says Ursus, firmly. Asshole he might be, but you for one are not inclined to argue.

### Suggestions Used

 _J-Rook –_ Someone: meet a HybridClass (eather Sollux meets a Arcanist because they are half sorcerer half wizards that can basically hack magic or Gamzee meets a Skald because they are bards that cause others to rage with there music)

 _Deshah -_ Sollux: Talk to other magicky types.

 _Musius -_ Sollux: Question the shit out of Jade's evolution of Tieflings (and aasimar) statement for the slim chance it might answer your constant question of how the fuck you--no ANY half Tiefling can exist.

 _1JakoftheMoon1 -_ Sollux: Debate over the intertwined natures of Divine an Infernal magykks.

 _J-Rook –_ Drow/Tiefling: complain how "Troll" is to good a name for the awful things they are, they should be called something else and leave the name Troll for something better.

 _ATT -_ Someone: find a lost baby animal. Then find its mom

 _gutza1 -_ Dread Gazebo: THE RUSE WAS A DISTACTION *Chomps on one of our poor depowered deity adventurers*

 _gutza1 -_ Sollux: FLY YOU FOOLTH!

 _Teogli -_ Rose/Karkat/Dirk/someone: Meet up with some REALLY academically-minded academic who could not give a shit about the ACTUAL fourteen people with godmarks, but is entranced by the ramifications of their existence on the scholarly community's current theories of blah de blah de blah.

[System Notes](http://celynbrum.tumblr.com/post/120924831955/lodad-system-notes-chapter-117)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, I tried to find a good place to make Jade fly, but it just wasn't having it. Hopefully Sollux gliding will suffice.
> 
> For those who are wondering, here are the [Giant Anaconda stats](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/bestiary/monster-listings/animals/snake/giant-anaconda), and here are the [Baby Anaconda stats](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/bestiary/monster-listings/animals/snake/snake-constrictor). I knew when I got into this that I was asking for trouble. Animals don't have spell-like abilities, so they tend to have terrifying combat abilities instead. They are usually perfectly capable of murdering a party member every round. Hence why I held back slightly. But only slightly.
> 
> [This is the Arcanist class](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advancedClassGuide/classes/arcanist.html#), which our Aasimar friend belongs to. Wizard/sorcerer combo for the win!


	118. ==> Aradia: Be The Other Girl

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Hero point votes:**  
>  Karkat 2  
> Sollux 2
> 
>  **Current Hero Points:**  
>  John 3/5, ~~Rose 5/5, Dave 3/3~~ , Jade 1/3  
> Karkat 3/5, ~~Gamzee 3/3, Terezi 5/5~~  
>  Sollux 0/3, Aradia 0/3, ~~Kanaya 5/5~~  
>  Jane 3/5, Jake 4/5, ~~Roxy 3/3, Dirk 3/3~~

## ==> Aradia: Be The Other Girl

You are now FEFERI PEIXES, and you are alive for the first time in forever! Literally, forever. You died before this universe began, and although death hasn't had nearly as many consequences as you had been led to believe, it has still been a very long time since you inhabited a body with blood and breath. It is incredibly distracting, which is unfortunate, because you have a vital mission to fulfil!

You wish you'd been able to tell Aradia more, but it's not as if there was much else you could have done. If Eridan wasn't being a complete butt about it you might even have considered helping him with his plan. As it stands, you are willing to settle for helping your other friends as much as you can. If they can just recover themselves in time...

The water parts before you as you swim. It's not just a pretty turn of phrase; your powers can't shrink a distance, but they can speed your travel, encasing you in a bubble of magic as you hurtle through the ocean at speeds so high, the sea would boil without the heat sink you've cast into the plane of water. The unfortunate fish in your path don't have a chance to get out of the way. You feel so awful about that!

A glimmer of light and power in the distance, and you pull up. Your deceleration skids you to a halt over the chasm of the city.

 _Wow!_ Aradia's voice in your head sounds more impressed than shaken. _We nearly hit that!_

 _We shore did!_ You smile as you wend down into the city proper. You don't draw much attention as you pass. Even in the clothes of a land-dweller, you don't stand out enough for the crowds.

That changes fast when you reach the temple gates. Both temples are in the shade of the Palace, and from the crowd around the opposed ledges it's obvious Eridan has already made his appearance. You land at the golden doors of your greatest shrine and totally ignore the royals on your doorstep, recognisable by their gold torques and intricate scarification.

“You there!” yells one princess. “Who do you think you-”

You throw up a hand and the temple doors open. The water around you flares royal Tyrian, which is totally unnecessary from a magical point of view but makes for great proof of identity.

“My lady?” gasps a shocked priestess. She's standing behind the royals, and is old enough that it shows, in faint lines on her forehead and around her eyes. You give her the most dazzling smile you can muster in an unfamiliar mouth.

“I'm just picking up my things,” you tell her cheerfully, and chaos breaks out. You ignore it and stride through into the temple.

The chamber beyond is very grand. You gave up decades ago trying to talk your worshippers out of these displays- they like them and, honestly, so do you. Still, you have at least resisted the tacky gilding Eridan insisted on. Eurgh! Your temple is much more tastefully decorated in shimmering tile, inlaid everywhere with mosaics and mother-of-pearl. Cuttlefish bob about in the water, lit by the floating magical lights that illustrate the spiralling interior and the balconies that look down from above. You could fit half the city in here, and they often do.

In the centre of your temple, just below the speaker's podium, is a deep pool. You crouch down beside it and run your fingers across the water. Aradia watches on with interest; it's so odd, sharing a mind with her. You keep forgetting that technically, you are the junior partner.

The water stirs and a tentacle rises from the depths. Behind you is an awed murmur from your watching public. You ignore them in favour of stroking the chalky appendage. The creature in the pool is not your mother, but you would be lying if you denied ordering her brought here because of the resemblance. Her name is Fl'brfolybr and she is _adorable._

“Hello!” you say, as the tentacle wraps around your wrist. “Can you fetch it for me?”

The tentacle retreats and Fl'brfolybr vanishes below the surface with a quiet _gloop._ You step back from the side of the pool to wait.

“My Lady?” asks someone behind you. You turn to see a band of worried-looking royals. The Queen stands at their head, and although you wouldn't call her expression anxious, that's only because she's doing a really good job of masking it with haughtiness.

“Is it to be war, then?” she asks.

You don't even have to feel Aradia's determination to give your answer. “The Lord of Waves has taken what does not belong to him. I will take it back.”

The Queen pales. The priestess brushes past her, her hair drifting like kelp in the water.

“As you command, my Lady,” she says, bowing low to you. She walks on past to the far side of the Temple, where a glowing crystal sits atop a pedestal.

 _So what's your title?_ asks Aradia.

You know she doesn't miss your flicker of surprise, or the moment when you decide. That only helps you make your decision. _Here they call me the Lady of the Depths,_ you tell her. _But before that, I was the Witch of Life._

There is a pause. Her thoughts spin like the gears of a clock. _That sounds like the gods' names. Are you..._

She is interrupted as the priestess touches her hand to the crystal. A great boom spreads out through the water; it's a tangible force, a wave of pressure that rushes outward. The walls of the temple don't appear to stop it, and a moment later it is followed by another, and another.

The priestess bows to you again. “The holy warriors will assemble, my Lady. We are ready.”

Another wave rushes in, another distant call to arms that buffets you all.

“So is he,” you say, and look back down at the pool. The water is bubbling. You step forward as Fl'brfolybr's tentacle rises, wrapped around a gleaming 2x3dent. There is a gasp as you take the weapon, a moment of awe from your followers. You take a moment to feel the familiar heft. It feels like being whole again.

You sweep out onto the temple ledge with an entourage of royalty, to find a small army amassing. Like most of your people, they are largely unclothed, but their allegiance is clearly declared by bands of Tyrian around their arms. Most of them are clutching war-tridents, but you see a cluster armed with nothing but glittering rings. Mages in your service. They all stand to attention as you swim above them. Across the chasm, you can see a similar scene playing out in violet; Jake is a pale dot in the dark sea, and you wouldn't recognise him at all if Aradia did not.

“Everyone, do your best!” you say, and the water carries your words to them all. “You believe in me, but today, I believe in you!”

There is no cheer, but the squad leaders raise their arms in the air and all your warriors give a shout. It strikes like a punch. Eridan is still giving a speech. It is more than past time he learned you are not playing around.

“CHARGE!” you shout, and hurl your weapon. It blazes ahead of the troops in a streak of gold and strikes the rock to Eridan's side. He looks up, startled, as it vanishes. Your troops begin to advance, launching themselves into the water and shooting forward like great schools of fish. One of Eridan's squads raise spears and throw a few; none make it across the chasm.

Your mages, rather than move from their solid footing, begin to cast. The water flashes and bubbles, and a number of Eridan's soldiers fall. His mages respond in kind, and several of your people spiral down into the depths. Eridan glares at you from Jake's face, then raises his hands. You feel his power before it hits, fury and betrayal and a crushing fist. The water in the chasm starts to churn, currents and cross-currents making a fog of what on the surface would be white water. Everything ahead of you is distorted. Your 2x3dent reappears in your hand and you kick off into the water. Immediately you feel it trying to push you off course.

You grit your teeth and reach for your own power. Augmented by Aradia's inner strength, you are the Witch of Life again. Your power touches each of your warriors, giving them a little more power to overcome the maelstrom. More spears from Eridan's soldiers miss, this time spinning uselessly away. Your people dodge around them. You see one warrior swimming at right angles to where she needs to be, and push determinedly on.

More magic crackles around you. You can hear cries of pain, and they distract you enough that you almost miss the weapon Eridan levels at you. When you see it, your first response is shock.

 _Where did he get that?_ But you have your 2x3dent, it only makes sense that he would have _this._ A gun, sleek and pointed, more wand than weapon. It blasts the water and the blow hits you like a punch, the magic unaffected by what he's done to the water. You bowl backwards, grabbing for the well of power in Aradia's soul to protect you. The magic is strange to you. Life is closer to Space than Time, Witch as unlike Maid as two classes can be. Glittering cuttlefish gasp on salty shores, parched by the sun, and you turn aside the all-encompassing _boom_ that rattles your skull like a goblet.

Pulling on your own power, you raise your arms and send a wave of healing through the churning water. Your battered muscles soothe, your cracked bones knit, and you see some of your own people swimming back up into the struggle. They're close enough to engage, now; your warriors hit Eridan's like a battering ram, weapons flashing in the dim light. His spear-throwers are diving to try and get range on the trident-bearers amongst them, and that really won't do them much good in the long run. Spells fly back and forth, and Aradia watches with interest.

 _They look different underwater,_ she says. _No fire. More bubbles._

You hadn't really thought about what spells would look like on land. Battles must be different, too, when up and down aren't dimensions to consider.

Twin rays of bright, boiling water strike into you from Eridan's gun and you scream as Aradia's flesh burns. It's as much rage as pain. You made a promise to her; you will get her friend back and you will not get her killed! You send out another burst of healing and push through the water. Your people are scattering Eridan's spear-throwers, and his mages are in trouble, but a bitter battle is locking your mages up with some of his soldiers. You remind yourself to trust them and slip from current to current, until you're close enough to see the familiar sneer on Jake's sweet face and the ridiculous finery Eridan has dressed him up in. You're just about to reach out and grap him when his power pulses again- bright, brilliant, bitter- and he slips from your grasp, diving into the whirling water without the slightest hindrance.

“ERIDAN!” you scream. Aradia's hair billows out as you spin. “You let that boy go RIGHT NOW or so kelp me...”

“You shoald be helping me!” Eridan yells back. “C'mon, Fef! You know we can't leawe this to this bunch a idiot aliens!”

You hurl your 2x3dent again and, with a little nudge from Aradia, it hits. The bladed tines gouge deep into the darker skin of the tuatha elf's arm. Eridan hisses as red blood drifts out into the water. There will be sharks later.

“There are no aliens!” you yell back at him. “There's no Earth! No Alternia! _If we were manatee be gods, we would be already!”_

His response is a snarl. His rifle swings up and you brace. At this range, there's no avoiding the magical blast. Boiling rays scald Aradia again; her clothes are tattered, and she'll only avoid scarring by your grace. You stumble, catching your returning 2x3dent on instinct, and press a hand to the wound. Healing spreads from the webs of Aradia's fingers and knits her chest, but imperfectly.

Another hit _might_ be the last.

As you look around for a plan, a smile spreads across you face. Eridan's sour look fades briefly and he glances to see what you're looking at. A curse escapes him. While he focused on you, your people have routed his; a small battle is still ongoing with your mages, but the rest of your warriors have swum into a loose cordon around him, blocking him into you and the canyon wall.

They're advancing.

“You've lost, Eridan!” you proclaim, a little more boldly than you feel. His response is a sneer. He raises his rifle and fires- not at you, but at the trident-bearers overhead. Flashing, nauseating colours blare through the water and flare against their targets. Your people start to fall, twinkling with dangerous lights.

Teeth bared, you release your 2x3dent again, but your anger and the cross-currents send your aim awry. The trident is far past your enemy before it vanishes. Eridan laughs and advances on you.

“Don't look like it to me,” he says, with a particularly nasty smirk. Your 2x3dent reappears in your grip, and you stab it forward. You can see before it's even done that the strike is going to miss.

Aradia reaches out and, with a last burst of crystal eternity, holds Eridan for the fraction of a heartbeat you need. He howls as the tines sink into his side, puncturing muscle and a few other things besides.

“It's for your good too!” he snarls, forcing your hand back. Jake is stronger than Aradia, and as you are pushed back inch by inch you discover that you don't much like being physically weaker than _anyone._

There is a shout from your warriors, and tridents begin to cut through the water. Several hit Eridan and he staggers. His fancy robes are torn and he's bleeding badly, but it doesn't stop him from tightening his grip on your arm and gathering power behind his eyes.

You wail as electricity spikes through you, burning knives across every inch of your skin. Your clumsy jab goes wide, and the blood-pusher you aren't used to having pounds. The world narrows to you, and Eridan's smile. Even with blunt human- elven- teeth, it manages to look shark-like.

That's when the tines of a trident sprout through his gut.

Eridan looks almost as surprised as you are. His grip on your wrist loosens, and he touches the tines with something approaching wonder.

“Well, _fuck,”_ he says, and then he goes limp. You catch him before he can fall far.

Half a dozen of your warriors swim up. “My Lady!” one shouts. “Are you well?”

“Fetch a healer!” you yell back. You could heal him, stop the bleeding, but you're too powerful. You'd rather not wake him up until you're good and ready. Around you, the remains of Eridan's troops are surrendering. You're not foolish enough to think that this battle won't spill over, that you haven't just started something that will be all but impossible to contain. There's a reason you and Eridan have kept truce for a thousand years.

Jake looks ashen in your arms. In rest, he's more himself. You cradle him close as the healers advance, and silently grant him your protection.

### Suggestions Used

 _HowlingArmadillo -_ Aradia: Rescue your Damsel in Distress!

 _HUNRonin -_ Aradia: Arrive in the nick of TIME to save your comrades.

 _1JakoftheMoon1 -_ Merpeople royalty(?) or w/e: Sweat bullets over possible civil war between god followers.

[System Notes](http://celynbrum.tumblr.com/post/122069762925/lodad-system-notes-chapter-118)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, I forgot to work a Seahorsedad in there. :(
> 
> One more combat chapter, then level up, then Celyn lie on face going “BLUUUUUUUUUUUUH” and flopping like a beached fish.
> 
> Please remember when making Hero Point votes that everyone gets +1 when they level up!


	119. ==> Rose: Recognise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Hero point votes:**  
>  Karkat 2  
> Sollux 4
> 
>  **Current Hero Points:**  
>  John 2/5, Rose 0/5, ~~Dave 3/3,~~ Jade 1/3  
>  Karkat 2/5, Gamzee 1/3, Terezi 3/5  
> Sollux 0/3, Aradia 0/3, ~~Kanaya 5/5~~  
>  Jane 1/5, Jake 4/5, Roxy 1/3, Dirk 2/3

## ==> Rose: Recognise

It is the smell of smoke that first alerts you to something amiss.

“It appears that something is burning,” you say, trying to sniff the air and look for the source without making it obvious that you are doing so. Dirk gives you a sidelong glance, so you are not entirely successful, but fortunately you do not much care that he has detected your concern.

“Cook-fire?” suggests Jane, her head turning about. Her tone suggests she would prefer it to be true, but does not necessarily believe it herself.

John is shaking his head. “No, the smell's wrong... over there!”

He points to a plume of smoke spiralling up from the next street over. Your heart plummets. The buildings nearby are tight-packed and built from wood, mud and straw. A fire here will be a disaster.

It's as you're assessing the horrifying consequences of the potential conflagration that someone crashes into you. You whirl, startled, and catch a glimpse of white hair and black skin before the hooded Drow hurries on without so much as an apology. He shoves past John and Dave in his haste to be gone, and you are about to remark on it when someone nearby cried “FIRE!” and the street erupts into chaos.

Were you not trapped in the middle of it, it would be a ludicrous scene, reminiscent of some avant-garde circus or a particularly vocal overturned anthill. The population of the street is starkly divided between those struggling to leave the area as rapidly as is feasible, and those determinedly pushing closer. You see a large number fighting to get a better view of the plume of bitter smoke, and hear relatively few voices rise above the furore to cry “Get the watch!” or “Find some buckets!”

Caught in the middle of the jostling crowd, you are sadly in no position to appreciate the commentary it provides on elfkind. Dirk makes a few gestures which, loosely translated, you believe to mean _let's blow this popsicle stand._ Nodding agreement, you all start to wend your way back towards the caravan and the increasingly mysterious Maplehoof.

John seems oddly reluctant to make good the retreat, lingering behind the rest of you. He shouts something and points back towards the plume of smoke. Beneath it is the mouth of an alley, the same one from which your unintentional assailant emerged.

“Whaa?” your sister shouts back. Her voice carries above the clamour.

“-drow!” John yells. “I think the drow set the fire!”

You get a sinking feeling in your stomach and look around for the hooded dark elf, but without success.

“Who even gives a fuck, John?” Dave is shouting. “This is not the time to be a fucking guard!”

“Uh-oh,” says Roxy, and you look back to the alley mouth to see two more drow emerging from its mouth. Both are tall and bony and surrounded by a dark, dangerous aura that is most certainly not just the smoke. You are quite sure of it. One wears a red coat and carries a long, wicked blade in her hand, and the other has a painted face and is holding a smouldering two-by-four and with it looks, if anything, even more armed and deadly than his companion.

“HEY!” yells John, and it is the bellow of a constable of the watch. “YOU TWO! STOP RIGHT THERE!”

You wince. John appears to have forgotten that in this city he has no authority to enforce the law, and even if he did you are not sure that the Porthaven Watch's favourite greeting, while enthusiastic and sincere, is sufficiently diplomatic for situations such as this.

Still, overall, you think that the rock that sails out of the crowd and hits the painted drow on the side of his head probably does more damage, in the end.

The cliché would be to say that “everything went quiet”. It does not, of course. The majority of the people on the street have not even witnessed the opening salvoes of this altercation, and have no idea that a beatdown of deadly proportions may be imminent in their vicinity. Indeed, even if they had, the fire- now flickering over the rooftops in large, orange licks- might still prove a more pressing suitor for their attention. Still, you feel your own mind go still with terror as the plank-wielding elf turns his head to look at you all. It's a slow, disjointed turn, as if some other force is in control of his neck. The paint on his face looks clown-like, and when he grins you think of stories told in the dark and gods that are more than merely dangerous.

 _Oh, hell,_ you think, and then the clown charges.

As fast as a blink, your sister seizes up Frigglish and vanishes- there one moment, gone the next. You do not dwell on her apparent cowardice, knowing her better; instead you scramble for an idea of what to do as his red-coated comrade advances behind him. You are leery of unleashing the divine forces at your command for a street fight over what may be a misunderstanding, but will mere claws be enough...?

Too slow to act, and John staggers as the painted drow smashes the wooden board over his head. It looks comedic, but must feel anything but from the manner in which John staggers. You begin to circle closer and reach for the Light, seeing almost in slow motion where you must strike to land a blow true on your enemy. You are still trying to position yourself as Dave jumps forward, sword swinging. Both man and sword are screaming a battle cry. You try not to judge.

To your surprise, the drow twists at the last second, and Dave's brutal hit is turned aside to something far less deadly. You have little time to process this before Jane slams into the stranger, knocking him away from Dave and her brother, then standing in solidarity with the two of them against him.

It seems you, as a group, are in this fight for the long haul.

John bounds forward, his ridiculous hammer falling and hammering the drow back. The painted elf looks far more lightly armoured, but hardly seems fazed by the blow, apart to shake himself and begin a low, rumbling growl that sets you on edge. Behind you Dirk begins to make a noise so like a drum that you look at him in surprise and discover that he is making it with his mouth. The beat catches like a fire in the blood, and you see magic shimmer around your friend. The magic he has learned from his unorthodox upbringing is clearly being practised to good effect.

You still cannot see your sister, but the painted elf's comrade has certainly seen his plight. Her sword darts out and John shouts in pain, blood pouring from the crack in his armour that links his pauldron to his breastplate. An odd sensation crackles in the air, sharp and clear, like blue glass ringing.

Before you can puzzle that out, or act to restrain either of your foes, a burst of more familiar magic waves through. Healing power, stronger than any you are used to, closes John's wound and straightens the stance of the painted elf. Someone shouts your name, and your eyes widen as you see a familiar figure standing in the alley mouth. Kanaya looks charred and worn, a fourth drow leaning on her shoulder as ragged children stream out past them, but there is a definite improvement in the quality of her gear... gear which is certainly reminiscent of what the pair you are currently fighting are clad in.

Well. This was certainly predictable. You open your mouth to shout back and only recall why this is a bad idea when the festering broodtongues of the abyss come pouring out. _Fuck._ There are certain aspects of your chosen one status you could do without, and this is undoubtedly one of them.

As you desperately wonder how to communicate the depths of this misunderstanding to your oblivious comrades, the situation gets worse. Kanaya's third friend, upon seeing _your_ friends beating the celestial shit out of _his_ friend, pushes off her shoulder and darts in, flashing past the scattering people like lightning dancing from cloud to cloud. John goes down with a yelp, his legs seeming almost to swing up of their own accord as they are yanked out from under him by a sickle, and a scuffle begins on the ground. The painted elf ignores this entirely in favour of trying to stab Jane with a large, dagger-like splinter of wood. You start towards him to pull him off, then hesitate again. The air is buzzing, and quite apart from the fact that this whole fight is a damned accident predicated on a misconception, you are sure it should _not be happening._

Jane shouts and more magic saturates the air, the smell of baking and lemonade in summer, roiling in with screaming darkness and whispering carnivorous plants. The taste of hot metal floods your mouth as the sickle-wielding drow and his red-clad friend knock John back down. Orange flashes in your vision, Dirk moving faster than should be possible, and the red-clad drow spins to face him as blood wells up through the cuts in her coat.

Roxy appears with a shout and a perfectly-aimed punch. As before, the painted drow twists away at the last second, taking most of the sting out of it. The red-coated drow grins and the sheen of her silver blade changes colour before she lunges in, faster than even Dirk can dodge away. Kanaya has progressed beyond shouting and is now screaming, loudly, for “Gamzee” to stop what he is doing at once, “Karkat” to stop him, “Terezi” to listen...

You glance around at the drow again, trying to link names to faces, and hesitate. The sickle-wielding one, the one trying- and failing- to crush John's face into the dirt as he screams obscenities...

You _know_ him.

It's not just the rhythm of battle beating in your ears. It's something older, lighter. The skies are dry, but you can hear the rain.

“Gamzee” is going down under the weight of your friends' attacks, Jane leading a capable assault- you were not aware shields had a secondary use as bludgeons, but now you have seen the evidence with your own eyes. Yet you cannot focus on it. You cannot even name the things that are swirling around you now; the air itself is charged, potent, an argument in the very fabric of existence that sounds like nothing more than a dozen or so teenagers squabbling against an empty backdrop. It feels like the air before a storm.

A storm. You think of red, and blood, and all the good reasons for keeping your own dream journal instead of letting priests do it for you.

You reach for the Light, and the Darkness.

The world explodes into threads around you, glowing golden lines tied between everyone and everything, countless fates intertwined. And here, in front of you, you can see them tying together the past and the future of you and Kanaya and everyone with you both. Dimly, you are aware of people shouting, backing away, pointing at you as you rise up above the streets. You only have eyes for the threads.

You grab them, and twist. Every one of your and Kanaya's companions cries out and grabs for a suddenly glowing appendage. Roxy hops as she tries to massage her ankle; John is gripping his arm tight enough to bruise. Kanaya's hands are pressed to her belly, as if trying to hold something in, or will away cramps.

From between their fingers, light spreads. The marks on their skin glow too brightly for any clothing, any concealment. You can see the pain fade by the way each of them stands, looking on in wonder at what they have just found.

Well. Most of them. Gamzee is rather unfortunately unconscious, lying on his face in the dirt, and Karkat is watching _you_ with narrowed eyes and a steadily darkening glare. You keep your eyes locked on his as the golden light fades, the dark wings on your back recede, and you sink to the ground.

Overhead, thunder rumbles. The pressure is broken. The rain is already starting to fall, great wet drops that taste of leftover divinity.

You meet the red eyes of a man that, until this moment, you had half-thought to be a dream. They are intense. Angry. You wonder what he would say if you told him he wove the threads you pulled to make that little display.

Before you can say anything, though, his eyes widen into something else. Fear.

“We need to fucking run,” he says. Everyone- all of the Godmarked present- stare at him, and he growls. _“Now,_ you woolbeast-brained bedfuckers! _Move!”_

As introductions go, it could be far worse. You nod to him, and start running.

### Suggestions Used

 _Ailavyn_Siniyash -_ Any of the drow: get a rock thrown at you by a bigot

 _nanrea -_ Kanaya: Run into your good friend Jane and her new companions when you finally emerge from underground

 _bookdragon5 -_ Rose: find the shouty angry guy while he is being shouty and angry.

 _pip -_ dirk: test your blade against terezi

 _1JakoftheMoon1 -_ Dreamers: remember just enough to barely recognize one another in person, although you can't say why.

 _Deshah -_ Rose: Immediately associate the angry Drow with the Knight of Blood. Realize he reminds you of your dreams --NOT IN THAT WAY, John Warden!

 _digimaniac33 -_ anyone with full hero points: burn through all of them at once in an incredibly dramatic moment to do something only a god could do

[System Notes](http://celynbrum.tumblr.com/post/123292908735/lodad-system-notes-chapter-119)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, that cleared some hero points!
> 
> Sorry for the late-ish update. I wrote this chapter hella late in the day. Left everything right to the last minute. *shrugs* Procrastination. Whatcha gonna do?
> 
> There will be no more combat for a while, tho. Just. No.


	120. -- LEVEL EIGHT --

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Hero point votes:**  
>  Karkat 2  
> Sollux 4  
> Rose 1
> 
> SOLLUX GAINS ONE HERO POINT!  
> Voting now open for the next Hero Point award: one person will get one after three chapters. 
> 
> **Current Hero Points:**  
>  John 3/5, Rose 1/5, ~~Dave 3/3,~~ Jade 2/3  
>  Karkat 3/5, Gamzee 2/3, Terezi 4/5  
> Sollux 2/3, Aradia 1/3, ~~Kanaya 5/5~~  
>  Jane 2/5, ~~Jake 5/5,~~ Roxy 2/3, ~~Dirk 3/3~~

JOHN EGBERT [FIGHTER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/fighter.html#_fighter) ([TWO-HANDED FIGHTER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/fighter.html#_two-handed-fighter)) 8  
NEUTRAL GOOD

TL:DR - John gets stronger, gains another Godmarked power, and can bop people moving past him in a fight more often.

[ ](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/thj4e22n4vt8re1/John%20Egbert.png?dl=0)

BASIC STATISTICS  
GENDER: Male  
HAIR/EYES: Black hair, blue eyes  
HOMELAND: City of Porthaven (Outer Ring)  
DEITY: The Heir of Breath  
LANGUAGES: Common, High Elven  
RACE: Tuatha (High Elf)

ATTRIBUTES  
STRENGTH: 16[+3]  
DEXTERITY: 13[+1]  
CONSTITUTION: 12[+1]  
INTELLIGENCE: 10[+0]  
WISDOM: 12[+1]  
CHARISMA: 13[+1]

HIT POINTS: 60/60  
HERO POINTS: 3/5  
INITIATIVE: +1  
BASE SPEED/S: 30ft (land)

ARMOUR CLASS [AC]: 16  
TOUCH AC: 11  
FLAT-FOOTED AC: 15

BASE ATTACK BONUS [BAB]: +8/+3  
BASIC MELEE ATTACK: +11/+6  
BASIC RANGED ATTACK: +9/+4  
COMBAT MANEUVER BONUS [CMB]: +11/+6(13 for Sundering)  
COMBAT MANEUVER DEFENCE [CMD]: 22(24 for Sundering)

SAVES  
FORTITUDE: +8  
REFLEX: +4  
WILL: +4

[WEAPONS/ATTACKS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_weapon-descriptions)  
+1 [GHOST-TOUCHED](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/magicArmsAndArmor/weaponSpecialAbilities.html#_ghost-touch) [PLANAR](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/magicArmsAndArmor/weaponSpecialAbilities.html#_planar) [LUCERNE HAMMER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/advancedGear.html#_lucerne-hammer) \- Magical. Wielded two-handed and technically a polearm, this weapon has greater reach than most, a spike on the reverse of the head, and is also FUCKING TERRIFYING.  
[DAGGER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_dagger) \- Can be thrown, range 10ft.

EQUIPMENT - [CARRYING CAPACITY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/additionalRules.html#_carrying-capacity) (STR 17)

EQUIPMENT - ITEM SLOTS  
CLOTHING: ARTISAN'S OUTFIT  
This outfit consists of a shirt with buttons, drawstring pants, shoes, and a slightly battered hat. It also includes a belt for carrying small items such as a money pouch.

ARMOUR: CHAIN SHIRT OF SPELL-STORING DEFENCE +1  
+5 armour bonus, +4 max DEX bonus, -1 Armour Check Penalty, 20% Arcane Spell Failure Chance, LIGHT  
SPECIAL: This variant on [Spell-Storing Armour](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/magicArmsAndArmor/armorSpecialAbilities.html#_spell-storing) allows a spellcaster to store a single beneficial touch spell of up to 2rd level in it. Any time a creature hits the wearer with a melee attack or melee touch attack, the armour can cast the spell on the wearer as a swift action if the wearer desires. Once the spell has been cast from the armour, a spellcaster can cast any other beneficial touch spell of up to 3rd level into it. The armour magically imparts to the wielder the name of the spell currently stored within it.

EQUIPMENT - POSSESSIONS  
+1 Ghost-Touched Planar Lucerne Hammer 12lbs, Chain Shirt of Spell-Storing Defence +1 25lbs, Dagger 1lb, Waterskin 4lbs, Masterwork Studded Leather 20lbs

>BACKPACK, MASTERWORK 4lbs (Capacity 60lbs, +1 STR to carry loads)  
Tent (Medium, 2 people) 30lbs, Bedroll 5lbs, Parade Armour 20lbs

>POUCH, BELT 0.5lbs (Capacity 10lbs)  
Flint and Steel, Bird Feather Token [x2], Itching Powder [x1] 2lbs

TOTAL 100.5lbs (41.5lbs without backpack)

EQUIPMENT - MONEY  
0CP, 6SP, 60GP, 0PP  
OTHER:

SKILLS  
TRAINED  
BLUFF +5(4), DIPLOMACY +7(6), ESCAPE ARTIST +4(3)*, +KNOWLEDGE(DUNGEONEERING) +9(6), +PROFESSION(PORTHAVEN GUARD) +5(1)

UNTRAINED  
ACROBATICS +1*, APPRAISE +0, +CLIMB +2*, +CRAFT +0, DISGUISE +1, HEAL +1, +INTIMIDATE +1, PERCEPTION +3, PERFORM +1, +RIDE +1*, SENSE MOTIVE +1, STEALTH +1*, +SURVIVAL +1, +SWIM +2*  
(FLY +1*)

*Armour Check Penalty: Skill at –0 due to armour worn.  
+Class Skill

FEATS  
[POWER ATTACK [REQUIRES: STR 13, BAB+1]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_power-attack)  
The character can make exceptionally deadly melee attacks by sacrificing accuracy for strength.

[FURIOUS FOCUS [REQUIRES: POWER ATTACK]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/advancedFeats.html#_furious-focus)  
Even in the midst of fierce and furious blows, the character can find focus in the carnage and his seemingly wild blows strike home.

[BLUDGEONER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/ultimateCombatFeats.html#_bludgeoner)  
The character can knock foes out cold with just about any blunt instrument.

[STEP UP [REQUIRES: BAB +1]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#step-up)  
The character can close the distance when a foe tries to move away.

[RACIAL ABILITIES: ELVEN](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advancedRaceGuide/coreRaces/elves.html#_elf-racial-traits)  
LANGUAGES - Tuatha begin play speaking Common and High Elven. Tuatha with high Intelligence scores can choose from the following: Celestial, Draconic, Gnoll, Gnome, Goblin, Orc, and Sylvan.

SPECIAL ABILITIES  
GODMARKED  
[HERO’S FORTUNE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/advancedNewRules.html#_hero's-fortune) \- Even at the start of his career, it was clear that the character had a chance at greatness, and his legend continues to grow with every adventure.  
[DEFLECTION AURA](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/cleric.html#_deflection-aura) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) - The character can emit an aura that makes nearby allies harder to hit for a short time dependent on his character level.  
EXTRA - The character receives a +1 resistance bonus on saving throws. This bonus increases by +1 for every 5 levels he possesses.  
[WHISPERING WIND](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/whisperingWind.html#_whispering-wind) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (3 USES/DAY) - Sends a short message 1 mile/level.  
[WIND WALL](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/windWall.html#_wind-wall) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (2 USES/DAY) – The character can summon the breeze to deflect arrows, smaller creatures, and gases.  
[GASEOUS FORM](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/gaseousForm.html#gaseous-form) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) - The character and all his gear become insubstantial, misty, and translucent.  
[AURA OF PROTECTION](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/cleric.html#protection-domain)[SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (8 ROUNDS/DAY) – The character can emit a 30-foot aura of protection for a number of rounds per day equal to his character level. These rounds do not need to be consecutive.

CLASS FEATURES  
WEAPON AND ARMOUR PROFICIENCY: FIGHTER  
A fighter is proficient with all simple and martial weapons and with all armour (heavy, light, and medium) and shields (including tower shields).

FEAT: [CLEAVE [REQUIRES: POWER ATTACK]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_cleave)  
The fighter can strike two adjacent foes with a single swing.

FEAT: [GREAT CLEAVE [REQUIRES: CLEAVE, BAB +4]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_great-cleave)  
The fighter can strike many adjacent foes with a single blow.

FEAT: [PUSHING ASSAULT [REQUIRES: STR 15, POWER ATTACK, BAB +1]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/advancedFeats.html#_pushing-assault)  
A strike made with a two-handed weapon can push a similar sized opponent backward.

[SHATTERING STRIKE (+1)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/fighter.html#_shattering-strike) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
At 2nd level, the two-handed fighter gains a bonus to sunder attempts and on damage rolls made against objects. 

[OVERHAND CHOP [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/fighter.html#_overhand-chop)  
At 3rd level, a two-handed fighter making a single attack with a two-handed weapon strikes more powerfully.

[WEAPON TRAINING (HAMMERS) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/fighter.html#_weapon-training)  
_NB: Lucerne Hammers are part of the “Polearms” Group, and not the “Hammers” Group._  
At 5th level, the two-handed fighter selects a group of [two-handed melee weapons](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/fighter.html#_two-handed-fighter) with which he can hit harder and more accurately.

FEAT: [DISRUPTIVE [REQUIRES: FIGHTER LEVEL 6]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_disruptive)  
The fighter's training makes it difficult for enemy spellcasters to safely cast spells near him.

[BACKSWING [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/fighter.html#backswing)  
At 7th level, when a two-handed fighter makes a full attack with a two-handed weapon, he adds double his Strength bonus on damage rolls for all attacks after the first. This ability replaces armor training 2.

FEAT: [COMBAT REFLEXES](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#combat-reflexes)  
The fighter can make additional attacks of opportunity, and may also make attacks of opportunity while flat-footed.

* * *

ROSE LALONDE [ORACLE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/baseClasses/oracle.html) \- [DARK TAPESTRY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spellcastingClassOptions/oracle.html#_dark-tapestry) ([SEER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spellcastingClassOptions/oracle.html#_seer_\(archetype\))) 8  
TRUE NEUTRAL

TL:DR - Rose gains 4th-level spellcasting and iterative attacks!

[ ](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/3jmigabf3wsuce2/Rose%20Lalonde.png?dl=0)

BASIC STATISTICS  
GENDER: Female  
HAIR/EYES: Blonde hair, purple eyes  
HOMELAND: City of Porthaven (Temple District)  
DEITY: The Seer of Light  
LANGUAGES: Common, Celestial, Abyssal, Draconic, Sylvan  
RACE: Aasimar

ATTRIBUTES  
STRENGTH: 8[-1]  
DEXTERITY: 12[+1]  
CONSTITUTION: 10[+0]  
INTELLIGENCE: 14[+2]  
WISDOM: 15[+2]  
CHARISMA: 19[+4]

HIT POINTS: 45/45  
HERO POINTS: 1/5  
INITIATIVE: +5  
BASE SPEED/S: 30ft (land)

ARMOUR CLASS [AC]: 18  
TOUCH AC: 11  
FLAT-FOOTED AC: 17

BASE ATTACK BONUS [BAB]: +6/+1  
BASIC MELEE ATTACK: +5/+0  
BASIC RANGED ATTACK: +7/+2   
COMBAT MANEUVER BONUS [CMB]: +5  
COMBAT MANEUVER DEFENCE [CMD]: 15

SAVES  
FORTITUDE: +2  
REFLEX: +3  
WILL: +8

[WEAPONS/ATTACKS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_weapon-descriptions)  
[CLAWS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/sorcerer.html#_abyssal) \- Grow instantly, 7 rounds/day, double attack (claw-claw).  
[DAGGER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_dagger) \- Can be thrown, range 10ft.  
[COLOUR SPRAY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/colorSpray.html#_color-spray) [WAND](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/magicItems/wands.html#_wands) (3/Day) – Standard Action to activate, does not provoke Attacks of Opportunity. 

EQUIPMENT - [CARRYING CAPACITY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/additionalRules.html#_carrying-capacity) (STR 8)

EQUIPMENT - ITEM SLOTS  
CLOTHING: ENTERTAINER'S OUTFIT  
This set of flashy- perhaps even gaudy- clothes is for entertaining. While the outfit looks whimsical, its practical design lets the character tumble, dance, walk a tightrope, or just run if the audience turns ugly.

ARMOUR: [SOOTHSAYER'S RAIMENT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/magicItems/armor.html#_soothsayer%27s-raiment) (DARK TAPESTRY – [WINGS OF DARKNESS REVELATION](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spellcastingClassOptions/oracle.html#_wings-of-darkness))  
+7 armour bonus, +2 max DEX bonus, -4 Armour Check Penalty, 30% Arcane Spell Failure Chance, MEDIUM.  
SPECIAL: This +1 chainmail is attuned to a particular oracular mystery and contains a revelation associated with that mystery. While wearing the armor, an oracle has access to that revelation and may use it as if she had it as a normal class feature. For divination spells with a percentage-based chance of success (such as augury and divination), the wearer's chance increases by +5.

EQUIPMENT - POSSESSIONS  
Colour Spray Wand, Dagger 1lb, Soothsayer's Raiment 40lbs, Waterskin 4lbs, Holy Symbol (Silver) 1lb, Signet Ring

>POUCH, BELT 0.5lbs (Capacity 10lbs)  
Flint and Steel, Sewing Needle, String/Twine [50ft] 0.5lbs

>POUCH, BELT 0.5lbs (Capacity 10lbs)  
Stationary, Sealing Wax 1lb, Ink (Black) [1oz. Vial], Ink (Purple) [1oz. Vial], Inkpen, Journal 1lb

TOTAL 9.5lbs

EQUIPMENT - MONEY  
9CP, 5SP, 17GP, 0PP  
OTHER:

SKILLS  
TRAINED  
+DIPLOMACY +14(6), +INTIMIDATE +13(7), +KNOWLEDGE HISTORY +10(5), +KNOWLEDGE NOBILITY +7(2), +KNOWLEDGE PLANES +17(9), +KNOWLEDGE RELIGION +12(7), +SENSE MOTIVE +12(7), +SPELLCRAFT +10(5), USE MAGIC DEVICE +5(2)

UNTRAINED  
ACROBATICS +1*, APPRAISE +2, BLUFF +3, CLIMB -1*, +CRAFT +2, +DISGUISE +3, ESCAPE ARTIST +1*, +HEAL +2, PERCEPTION +4, PERFORM +3, RIDE +1*, +STEALTH +1*, SURVIVAL +2, SWIM -1*  
(FLY +1*)

*Armour Check Penalty: Skill at –4 due to armour worn.  
+Class Skill

FEATS  
[COMBAT CASTING](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_combat-casting)  
The character is adept at spellcasting when threatened or distracted.

[SKILL FOCUS (KNOWLEDGE PLANES)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_skill-focus)  
The character is particularly adept at the selected skill.

[ELDRITCH HERITAGE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/ultimateMagicFeats.html#_eldritch-heritage) ([ABYSSAL](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/sorcerer.html#_abyssal)) [REQUIRES: CHA 13, SKILL FOCUS (KNOWLEDGE PLANES), CHARACTER LEVEL 3RD]  
The character gains the first-level bloodline power for the selected bloodline, slightly weaker than a sorcerer of equivalent level. In this case, that power is claws.

[IMPROVED INITIATIVE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#improved-initiative)  
The character's quick reflexes allow her to react rapidly to danger.

[RACIAL ABILITIES: AASIMAR](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advancedRaceGuide/featuredRaces/aasimars.html#_aasimar-racial-traits)  
AASIMARS DO NOT COUNT AS OUTSIDERS FOR THE PURPOSE OF THIS SETTING.  
[DAYLIGHT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/daylight.html#_daylight) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Aasimars can touch an object and cause it to shed a brilliant light which drives back even magical darkness.  
LANGUAGES – Aasimars begin play speaking Common and Celestial. Aasimars with high Intelligence scores can choose any of the following bonus languages: Draconic, Dwarven, High Elven, Gnome, Halfling, and Sylvan.

SPECIAL ABILITIES  
GODMARKED  
[HERO’S FORTUNE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/advancedNewRules.html#_hero's-fortune) \- Even at the start of her career, it was clear that the character had a chance at greatness, and her legend continues to grow with every adventure.  
[LORE KEEPER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/cleric.html#_knowledge-domain) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] – The character can touch a creature to learn about its abilities and weaknesses.  
EXTRA – The character treats all Knowledge skills as class skills.  
[TRUE STRIKE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/trueStrike.html#_true-strike) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (3 USES/DAY) - The character gains temporary, intuitive insight into the immediate future during her next attack.  
[AUGERY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/augury.html#_augury) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (2 USES/DAY) - Tells whether a particular action will bring good or bad results in the immediate future.  
[BORROW FORTUNE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/spells/borrowFortune.html#borrow-fortune) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Allows any d20 roll to be rolled twice, keeping the better result.

CLASS FEATURES  
WEAPON AND ARMOUR PROFICIENCY: ORACLE  
Oracles are proficient with all simple weapons, light armour, medium armour, and shields (except tower shields).

[CURSE: TONGUES (Abyssal)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/baseClasses/oracle.html#_tongues)  
Whenever the oracle is in combat, she can only speak and understand the Abyssal tongue. She automatically knows the language and can speak it at other times voluntarily.

[REVELATION: NATURAL DIVINATION [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY] (2 USES/DAY)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/baseClasses/oracle.html#_natural-divination)  
An oracle can read the entrails of a freshly killed animal, interpret the flights of birds, and chart marks in dirt or stone to gain small advantages at some point in the next day.

REVELATION: [GIFT OF PROPHECY [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spellcastingClassOptions/oracle.html#_gift-of-prophecy)(1 USE/DAY)  
Once per day, the Oracle can enter a trance to gain a glimpse of the future equivalent to the benefits of an [divination](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/magic.html#_divination) spell with 90% effectiveness.

REVELATION: [GIFT OF MADNESS [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] ](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spellcastingClassOptions/oracle.html#gift-of-madness)(7 USES/DAY, 7 ROUNDS)  
The Oracle taps into the unthinkable void between the stars and causes a single living creature within 30 feet to become confused for 1 round.

SPELLS  
LEVEL 0 [At Will] Save DC 14  
[DETECT MAGIC](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/detectMagic.html#detect-magic), [ENHANCED DIPLOMACY](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/all-spells/e/enhanced-diplomacy), [GUIDANCE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/guidance.html#guidance), [LIGHT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/light.html#light), [READ MAGIC](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/readMagic.html#read-magic), [RESISTANCE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/resistance.html#_resistance), [STABILIZE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/stabilize.html#stabilize)

LEVEL 1 [7/Day] Save DC 15  
[ABADAR'S](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/all-spells/a/abadar-s-truthtelling) [TRUTHTELLING](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/zoneOfTruth.html#zone-of-truth), [CURE LIGHT WOUNDS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/cureLightWounds.html#cure-light-wounds), [ENTROPIC SHIELD](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/entropicShield.html#_entropic-shield), [INFLICT LIGHT WOUNDS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/inflictLightWounds.html#inflict-light-wounds), [EMBRACE DESTINY](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/all-spells/e/embrace-destiny), [WEAPONWAND](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/all-spells/w/weaponwand), [FACE OF THE DEVOURER](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/all-spells/f/face-of-the-devourer)

LEVEL 2 [7/Day] Save DC 16  
[ANCESTRAL COMMUNION](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/all-spells/a/ancestral-communion), [CURE MODERATE WOUNDS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/cureModerateWounds.html#_cure-moderate-wounds), [DETECT THOUGHTS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/detectThoughts.html#_detect-thoughts), [INFLICT MODERATE WOUNDS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/inflictModerateWounds.html#_inflict-moderate-wounds), [BLINDING RAY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advancedRaceGuide/featuredRaces/dhampirs.html#blinding-ray)

LEVEL 3 [6/Day] Save DC 17  
[CURE SERIOUS WOUNDS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/cureSeriousWounds.html#_cure-serious-wounds), [INFLICT SERIOUS WOUNDS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/inflictSeriousWounds.html#_inflict-serious-wounds), [CLAIRAUDIENCE/CLAIRVOYANCE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/clairaudienceClairvoyance.html#_clairaudience-clairvoyance), [SEARING LIGHT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/searingLight.html#searing-light)

LEVEL 4 [4/Day] Save DC 18  
[CURE CRITICAL WOUNDS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/cureCriticalWounds.html#cure-critical-wounds), [DIVINATION](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/divination.html#divination)

* * *

DAVE STRIDER [ROGUE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/rogue.html#_rogue) ([SWASHBUCKLER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/rogue.html#_swashbuckler)) 8  
TRUE NEUTRAL

TL:DR – Dave can no longer be sneak attacked, except by a master, and has a new Godmarked ability.

[ ](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/z4phu07mjzo543t/Dave%20Strider.png?dl=0)

BASIC STATISTICS  
GENDER: Male  
HAIR/EYES: Blonde hair, red eyes  
HOMELAND: City of Porthaven (No Fixed Abode)/The Greenweald Forest Region (No Fixed Abode)  
DEITY: The Knight of Time  
LANGUAGES: Common, Celestial, High Elven  
RACE: Aasimar

ATTRIBUTES  
STRENGTH: 14[+2]  
DEXTERITY: 16[+3]  
CONSTITUTION: 13[+1]  
INTELLIGENCE: 13[+1]  
WISDOM: 12[+1]  
CHARISMA: 10[+0]

HIT POINTS: 53/53  
HERO POINTS: 3/3  
INITIATIVE: +2  
BASE SPEED/S: 30ft (land)

ARMOUR CLASS [AC]: 16  
TOUCH AC: 13  
FLAT-FOOTED AC: 13

BASE ATTACK BONUS [BAB]: +6/+1  
BASIC MELEE ATTACK: +8/+3  
BASIC RANGED ATTACK: +8/+3  
COMBAT MANEUVER BONUS [CMB]: +8/+3  
COMBAT MANEUVER DEFENCE [CMD]: 21

SAVES  
FORTITUDE: +3  
REFLEX: +9  
WILL: +3

[WEAPONS/ATTACKS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_weapon-descriptions)  
CALIBURN (+2 INTELLIGENT UNKNOWN [BASTARD SWORD](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_bastard-sword)) - This large hand-and-a-half weapon can magically repair itself when broken. Any other qualities of this weapon are as yet unknown.  
[LONGSWORD](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_longsword) \- [Fragile Quality](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/combat/primitiveArmorAndWeapons.html#fragile), can use two-handed for additional damage but cannot use buckler.  
[SHORTSWORD](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_shortsword)  
[DAGGER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_dagger) \- Can be thrown, range 10ft.

EQUIPMENT - [CARRYING CAPACITY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/additionalRules.html#_carrying-capacity) (STR 15)

EQUIPMENT - ITEM SLOTS  
CLOTHING: PICKPOCKET'S OUTFIT + MASK  
Outfitted with concealed pockets, this clothing gives the character a +2 bonus on hiding small objects on his person. It consists of a pull-on shirt with long sleeves, a loose jacket, drawstring pants, boots and a sturdy belt. The mask is an ornately decorated strip of dark fabric with eye-holes, that both mimics and mocks a stereotypical "bandit" mask.

ARMOUR: LEATHER ARMOUR  
+2 armour bonus, +6 max DEX bonus, -0 Armour Check Penalty, 10% Arcane Spell Failure Chance, LIGHT

SHIELD: BUCKLER  
+1 shield bonus, -1 Armour Check Penalty, 5% Arcane Spell Failure Chance  
SPECIAL: The character can use his shield arm to wield a weapon, but takes a -1 penalty on attack rolls while doing so, and loses the +1 shield bonus to AC until his next turn. It is not possible to shield bash with a buckler.

EQUIPMENT - POSSESSIONS  
Caliburn 6lbs, Longsword (Fragile) 4lbs, Shortsword 2lbs, Leather Armour 15lbs, Clothing (Mask, 3gp) 1lb, Buckler 5lbs, Dagger 1lb

>BACKPACK, MASTERWORK 4lbs (Capacity 60lbs, +1 STR to carry loads)  
Tent (Small, 1 person) 20lbs, Bedroll 5lbs, Kit (Cooking) 2lbs

>POUCH, BELT 0.5lbs (Capacity 10lbs)  
Flint and Steel, Whetstone 1lb

>POUCH, PATHFINDER 1lbs (Capacity 10lbs)[Extra-Dimensional Space, Command Word Activated, Does Not Detect As Magical]  
Tools (Thieves') 1lb, Waterskin 4lbs

TOTAL 50.5lbs (19.5lbs without backpack)

EQUIPMENT - MONEY  
8CP, 0SP, 3GP, 0PP  
OTHER:

SKILLS  
TRAINED  
+ACROBATICS +14(8)*, +APPRAISE +12(8), +BLUFF +13(7), +DISABLE DEVICE* +9(4), +ESCAPE ARTIST +12(7)*, +INTIMIDATE +6(3), +KNOWLEDGE LOCAL +8(4), +PERCEPTION +12(6), +PERFORM(ILL BEATS AND SICK FIRES) +10(7), +SLEIGHT OF HAND +9(4)*, +STEALTH +12(7)*, +USE MAGIC DEVICE +11(8)

UNTRAINED  
+CLIMB +2*, +CRAFT +1, +DIPLOMACY +2, +DISGUISE +0, HEAL +1, PERFORM +0, RIDE +2*, +SENSE MOTIVE +1, SURVIVAL +1, +SWIM +2*  
(FLY +2*)

*Armour Check Penalty: Skill at –1 due to armour worn.  
+Class Skill

FEATS  
[ SKILL FOCUS (BLUFF)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_skill-focus)  
The character is particularly adept at the chosen skill.

[DISPOSABLE WEAPON [REQUIRES: BAB+1, WEAPON PROFICIENCY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/ultimateCombatFeats.html#_disposable-weapon)  
The character ignores the limitations of his equipment, striking harder despite the damage it does to his weapon.

[QUICK DRAW [REQUIRES: BAB+1]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_quick-draw)  
The character can draw weapons faster than most.

[COMBAT EXPERTISE [REQUIRES: INT 13]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#combat-expertise)  
The character can choose to take a penalty on melee attack rolls and combat maneuver checks to gain a dodge bonus to his Armor Class.

[RACIAL ABILITIES: AASIMAR](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advancedRaceGuide/featuredRaces/aasimars.html#_aasimar-racial-traits)  
AASIMARS DO NOT COUNT AS OUTSIDERS FOR THE PURPOSE OF THIS SETTING.  
[DAYLIGHT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/daylight.html#_daylight) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Aasimars can touch an object and cause it to shed a brilliant light which drives back even magical darkness.  
LANGUAGES – Aasimars begin play speaking Common and Celestial. Aasimars with high Intelligence scores can choose any of the following bonus languages: Draconic, Dwarven, High Elven, Gnome, Halfling, and Sylvan.

SPECIAL ABILITIES  
GODMARKED  
WEAPON PROFICIENCY (BASTARD SWORD)  
[INSPIRING COMMAND](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/cleric.html#_inspiring-command) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] – The character can issue an inspiring command to his allies, improving their accuracy, defence, and focus for a short time.  
[DEATHWATCH](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/deathwatch.html#_deathwatch) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (3 USES/DAY) - The character can determine the condition of creatures near death within the spell's range.  
[ONE TRACK MIND](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/3rd-party-spells/purple-duck-games/one-track-mind) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (2 USES/DAY) - The target repeats their last action over and over again.  
[DELAYED REACTION](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/3rd-party-spells/4-winds-fantasy-gaming---3rd-party-spells/delayed-reaction) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – The target is unable to react to things going on around them, delaying their action until after the character's next turn.  
[SACRIFICIAL BOND](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/cleric.html#sacrificial-bond) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – When an ally within 30ft takes damage from an attack, the character can as an immediate action transfer this damage to himself.

CLASS FEATURES  
WEAPON AND ARMOUR PROFICIENCY: ROGUE  
Rogues are proficient with all simple weapons, plus the hand crossbow, rapier, sap, shortbow, and short sword. They are proficient with light armour, but not with shields.

[MARTIAL TRAINING [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY] (Longsword)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/rogue.html#_martial-training)  
At first level, the swashbuckler may select one martial weapon to add to his list of weapon proficiencies. In addition, he may take the combat trick rogue talent up to two times. 

[SNEAK ATTACK [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY] (+4d6 Precision Damage)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/rogue.html#_sneak-attack)  
A rogue can strike a vital spot for more damage whenever their foe is in a vulnerable position.

[EVASION](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/rogue.html#_evasion-rogue) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
At 2nd level and higher, the rogue can avoid even magical and unusual attacks with great agility.

[DARING [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/rogue.html#_daring)  
At 3rd level, the swashbuckler becomes more nimble and resistant to fear.

[UNCANNY DODGE [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/rogue.html#_uncanny-dodge-rogue)  
At 4th level, the rogue can react to danger before his senses would normally allow him to do so.

[IMPROVED UNCANNY DODGE [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/rogue.html#improved-uncanny-dodge-rogue)  
A rogue of 8th level or higher can no longer be flanked. This defense denies another rogue the ability to sneak attack the character by flanking him, unless the attacker has at least four more rogue levels than the target does.

ROGUE TALENTS  
[BLEEDING ATTACK](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/rogue.html#_rogue-talents-bleeding-attack) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
A rogue with this ability can cause living opponents to bleed by hitting them with a sneak attack.  
[POWERFUL SNEAK](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/rogue.html#_powerful-sneak**) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
A rogue with this ability can take a penalty to attack to treat all 1s on sneak attack damage dice as 2s.  
[POSITIONING ATTACK](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/rogue.html#_positioning-attack) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
Once per day, when a rogue with this talent hits a creature with a melee attack, he can move around the creature hit without provoking attacks of opportunity.  
[OFFENSIVE DEFENSE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/rogue.html#offensive-defense**) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
When a rogue with this talent hits a creature with a melee attack that deals sneak attack damage, he gains a +1 dodge bonus to AC for each sneak attack die rolled for 1 round.

* * *

JADE HARLEY [DRUID](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/druid.html#_druid) ([WOLF SHAMAN](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/druid.html#_wolf-shaman)) 8  
NEUTRAL GOOD

TL:DR – Jade's Godmark lets her dispel magic, and her own magic is improved. Her wildshape improved, letting her take more forms.

[ ](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/n8m84d8ync11huv/Jade%20Harley.png?dl=0)

BASIC STATISTICS  
GENDER: Female  
HAIR/EYES: Black hair, green eyes  
HOMELAND: The Greenweald Forest Region (The Whispering Grove)  
DEITY: The Witch of Space  
LANGUAGES: Common, High Elven, Sylvan, Druidic  
RACE: Tuatha (High Elf)

ATTRIBUTES  
STRENGTH: 8[-1]  
DEXTERITY: 16[+3]  
CONSTITUTION: 12[+1]  
INTELLIGENCE: 12[+1]  
WISDOM: 16[+3]  
CHARISMA: 12[+1]

HIT POINTS: 52/52  
HERO POINTS: 2/3  
INITIATIVE: +4  
BASE SPEED/S: 30ft (land)

ARMOUR CLASS [AC]: 19  
TOUCH AC: 13  
FLAT-FOOTED AC: 16

BASE ATTACK BONUS [BAB]: +6/+1  
BASIC MELEE ATTACK: +5/+0  
BASIC RANGED ATTACK: +9/+4  
COMBAT MANEUVER BONUS [CMB]: +5  
COMBAT MANEUVER DEFENCE [CMD]: 18

SAVES  
FORTITUDE: +7  
REFLEX: +5  
WILL: +8  
+4 to all Saving Throws against the spell-like and supernatural abilities of Fey.

[WEAPONS/ATTACKS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_weapon-descriptions)  
[MASTERWORK MUSKET](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/combat/firearms.html#_musket) AND [FAR-REACHING SIGHT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/combat/firearms.html#_far-reaching-sight) \- Ammunition 29 bullets, 29 black powder charges (both required to fire).  
[SLING](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_sling) – Less damage from improvised ammunition.  
[DAGGER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_dagger) \- Can be thrown, range 10ft.

EQUIPMENT - [CARRYING CAPACITY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/additionalRules.html#_carrying-capacity) (STR 16)

EQUIPMENT - ITEM SLOTS  
CLOTHING: TRAVELLER'S OUTFIT  
This set of clothes consists of boots, a wool skirt, a sturdy belt, a shirt with a vest, and an ample cloak with a hood.

ARMOUR: +3 [WOODEN ARMOUR](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/advancedGear.html#_wooden-armor)  
+6 armour bonus, +3 max DEX bonus, -0 Armour Check Penalty, 15% Arcane Spell Failure Chance, LIGHT  
SPECIAL: This suit of leather armour has plates of fire-treated wood sewn over vital areas. Though not as effective as metal armour, it offers better protection than leather alone. Unlike metal armour, the wood is slightly buoyant, and the armour check penalty for swimming in this armour is 0.

SHOULDERS: [MULEBACK CORDS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/magicItems/wondrousItems.html#_muleback-cords)  
These thick leather cords wrap around the wearer's biceps and shoulders; when worn, they make the muscles appear larger than normal and allow her to carry far more than usual.

EQUIPMENT - POSSESSIONS  
Masterwork Musket 9lb, Far-Reaching Sight 1lb, Sling, +3 Wooden Armour 25lbs, Muleback Cords 0.25lbs, Dagger 1lb, Waterskin 4lbs

>[BAG OF HOLDING, TYPE 1](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/magicItems/wondrousItems.html#_bag-of-holding) 15lbs (Capacity 250lbs)  
Tent (Small, 1 person) 20lbs, Bedroll 5lbs, Sling Bullets [x20] 10lbs

>POUCH, BELT 0.5lbs (Capacity 10lbs)  
Flint and Steel, Holly and Mistletoe, Fishhook, Whistle (Silent)

>POUCH, BELT 0.5lbs (Capacity 10lbs)  
Firearm Bullets [x30] 0.5lbs, Potion of Cure Moderate Wounds [x5]

>POWDER HORN 1lb (Capacity 10 x Black Powder)  
Black Powder [x9] [crafted at 10% cost]

>POWDER HORN 1lb (Capacity 10 x Black Powder)  
Black Powder [x10] [crafted at 10% cost]

>POWDER HORN 1lb (Capacity 10 x Black Powder)  
Black Powder [x10] [crafted at 10% cost]

TOTAL 34.75lbs (19.75lbs without portable hole)

EQUIPMENT - MONEY  
0CP, 7SP, 545GP, 0PP  
OTHER:

SKILLS  
TRAINED  
+HEAL +8(1), +HANDLE ANIMAL +11(7), KNOWLEDGE (DUNGEONEERING) +6(5), +KNOWLEDGE(GEOGRAPHY) +9(5), +KNOWLEDGE(NATURE) +14(8), +PERCEPTION +12(5), +SPELLCRAFT +12(8), +SURVIVAL +16(5)

UNTRAINED  
ACROBATICS +3*, APPRAISE +1, BLUFF +1, +CLIMB -1*, +CRAFT +1, DIPLOMACY +1, DISGUISE +1, ESCAPE ARTIST +3*, INTIMIDATE +1, PERFORM +1, +RIDE +3*, SENSE MOTIVE +2, STEALTH +3*, SWIM -1*  
(+FLY +3*)

*Armour Check Penalty: Skill at –0 due to armour worn.  
+Class Skill

FEATS  
[SELF-SUFFICIENT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_self-sufficient)  
The character knows how to get along in the wild and how to effectively treat wounds.

[DEADLY AIM [REQUIRES: DEX 13, BAB +1]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_deadly-aim)  
The character can make exceptionally deadly ranged attacks by pinpointing a foe's weak spot, at the expense of making the attack less likely to succeed.

[ASPECT OF THE BEAST [REQUIRES: WILD SHAPE CLASS FEATURE]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/advancedFeats.html#_aspect-of-the-beast)  
The character has a keen sense of when trouble is brewing, and an animalistic instinct for survival.

[NATURAL SPELL [REQUIRES: WIS 13, WILD SHAPE CLASS FEATURE]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#natural-spell)  
The character can cast spells even while in a form that cannot normally cast spells.

[RACIAL ABILITIES: ELVEN](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advancedRaceGuide/coreRaces/elves.html#_elf-racial-traits)  
LANGUAGES - Tuatha begin play speaking Common and High Elven. Tuatha with high Intelligence scores can choose from the following: Celestial, Draconic, Gnoll, Gnome, Goblin, Orc, and Sylvan.

SPECIAL ABILITIES  
GODMARKED  
WEAPON PROFICIENCY (MUSKET)  
[DIVINE VESSEL](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/cleric.html#_divine-vessel) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (4 USES/DAY) – The character can, whenever divine magic is cast on her, grant her nearby allies a boon on one of their next actions.  
[LONGSTRIDER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/longstrider.html#_longstrider) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (3 USES/DAY) - This power gives the character a +10 foot enhancement bonus to her base speed.  
[LOCATE OBJECT ](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/locateObject.html#_locate-object) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (2 USES/DAY) - The character senses the direction towards an object (specific or type).  
[FLY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/fly.html#fog-cloud) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – The character can fly.

CLASS FEATURES  
WEAPON AND ARMOUR PROFICIENCY: DRUID  
Druids are proficient with the following weapons: club, dagger, dart, quarterstaff, scimitar, scythe, sickle, shortspear, sling, and spear. They are also proficient with all natural attacks (claw, bite, and so forth) of any form they assume with wild shape.  
Druids are proficient with light and medium armour but are prohibited from wearing metal armour. Druids are proficient with shields (except tower shields) but must use only wooden ones. A druid who wears prohibited armour or uses a prohibited shield is unable to cast druid spells or use any supernatural or spell-like class abilities while doing so, and for 24 hours thereafter.

[SPONTANEOUS CASTING](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/druid.html#_spontaneous-casting-druid)  
A druid can channel stored spell energy to summon a creature to aid her.

[NATURE BOND [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/druid.html#wolf-shaman): ANIMAL COMPANION (BEC, [WOLF](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/monsters/wolf.html#_wolf))  
HIT POINTS: 66/66  
SIZE: Large SPEED: 50ft  
STR 23[+6], DEX 15[+2], CON 20[+5], INT 2[-4], WIS 12[+1], CHA 6[-2]  
ATTACK:  
BAB: +5 ATTACK: BITE +11 (1d8+2), trip  
CMB: +10  
DEFENCE:  
AC: 20 (Natural Armour +7)  
CMD: 22  
SAVES: FORT 10, REF 7, WILL 3  
SKILLS:  
Survival 2, Perception 5, Intimidate 2  
FEATS:  
[Improved Natural Armour](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/additionalMonsters/monsterFeats.html#improved-natural-armor), [Dodge](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_dodge), [Mobility](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_mobility), [Spring Attack](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#spring-attack)  
TRICKS:  
Down – The animal breaks off from combat or otherwise backs down.  
Guard – The animal stays in place and prevents others from approaching.  
SPECIAL ABILITIES:  
[Low-Light Vision](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/glossary.html#_low-light-vision), [Scent](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/glossary.html#_scent), [Link](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/druid.html#_companions-link), [Share Spells](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/druid.html#_companions-share-spells), [Evasion](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/druid.html#_companions-evasion),[Devotion](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/druid.html#_companions-devotion)

NATURE SENSE [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
A druid is more knowledgeable about nature and better able to survive in the wilderness.

WILD EMPATHY [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
A druid can communicate wordlessly with an animal, in the hope of making it more friendly towards the druid and her allies. A wolf shaman is particularly good at communicating with canines.

[WOODLAND STRIDE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/druid.html#_woodland-stride-druid) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
Starting at 2nd level, the druid may move through any sort of undergrowth (such as natural thorns, briars, overgrown areas, and similar terrain) at her normal speed.

[TOTEM TRANSFORMATION](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/druid.html#_wolf-shaman) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (5 MINUTES/DAY, STANDARD ACTION)  
At 2nd level, the wolf shaman may adopt an aspect of the wolf while retaining her normal form. She gains one of the following bonuses:  
>MOVEMENT (+20 enhancement bonus to land speed)  
>SENSES (low-light vision, +4 racial bonus to Survival when tracking by scent)  
>NATURAL WEAPONS (bite [1d4 plus trip], +2 CMB to trip)  
While using totem transformation, the wolf shaman may speak normally and can cast speak with animals (canines only) at will.

[TRACKLESS STEP [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/druid.html#_trackless-step)  
At 3rd level, the druid no longer leaves a trail in natural surroundings and cannot be tracked unless she chooses to be.

[RESIST NATURE'S LURE [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/druid.html#_resist-nature-s-lure)  
Starting at 4th level, a druid becomes more resistant to the magical abilities of fey.

[WILD SHAPE [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/druid.html#_wild-shape)  
At 4th level, a druid gains the ability to turn herself into any small or Medium animal and back again once per day, like the [beast shape I spell](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/beastShape.html#_beast-shape-i). At 6th level, a wolf shaman’s wild shape ability functions at her druid level -2. If she takes on the form of a canine, she instead uses her druid level + 2. At 8th level, a druid can use wild shape to change into a Huge or Diminutive animal, a Medium elemental, or a Small or Medium plant creature. When taking the form of animals, a druid's wild shape now functions as [beast shape III](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/beastShape.html#_beast-shape-iii). The effect lasts for 1 hour per druid level, or until she changes back.

[TOTEMIC SUMMONS [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/druid.html#_totemic-summons)  
At 5th level, the wolf shaman may cast summon nature’s ally more swiftly when summoning canines, and these summoned canines are tougher proportional to her druid level.

SPELLS  
[DRUID LEVEL 0](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/spell-lists-and-domains/spell-lists---druid#p0) [4 Prepared, At Will] Save DC 13  
+KNOW DIRECTION – You discern north.  
+MENDING – Makes minor repairs on an object.  
+SPARK – Ignites flammable objects. +STABILIZE – Cause a dying creature to stabilize.

[DRUID LEVEL 1](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/spell-lists-and-domains/spell-lists---druid#p1) [5/Day Prepared] Save DC 14  
+++CURE LIGHT WOUNDS – Cures 1d8 damage +1/level (max +5).  
++ENTANGLE - Plants entangle everyone in 40-ft. radius.

[DRUID LEVEL 2](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/spell-lists-and-domains/spell-lists---druid#p2) [4/Day Prepared] Save DC 15  
++FOREST FRIEND - Plants in a forested area become helpful instead of hindering you and your allies.  
++WILDERNESS SOLDIERS – Nearby plants aid you in combat.

[DRUID LEVEL 3](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/spell-lists-and-domains/spell-lists---druid#TOC-3rd-Level-Druid-Spells) [4/Day Prepared] Save DC 16  
++CURE MODERATE WOUNDS - Cures 2d8 damage +1/level (max +10).  
+RAIN OF FROGS – Summon a swarm of poisonous frogs.  
+[PUP SHAPE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/spells/pupShape.html#pup-shape) \- Transforms a single animal or magical beast into a younger and cuter version of itself for a short period of time.

[DRUID LEVEL 4](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/spell-lists-and-domains/spell-lists---druid#p4) [2/Day Prepared] Save DC 17  
CURE SERIOUS WOUNDS - Cures 3d8 damage + 1/level (max +15).  
+[TREE STRIDE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/treeStride.html#tree-stride) \- Step into a tree and walk out of another nearby.  
+[ASPECT OF THE WOLF](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/spells/aspectOfTheWolf.html#aspect-of-the-wolf) \- Take on characteristics of the wolf.

* * *

KARKAT VANTAS [FIGHTER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/fighter.html#_fighter) ([MOBILE FIGHTER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/fighter.html#_mobile-fighter)) 8  
TRUE NEUTRAL

TL:DR – Karkat's Godmark lets him take damage for others more easily, but he is also able to dart in and out of combat faster than his foes can react to.

[ ](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/uyfpjnavu74a446/Karkat%20Vantas.png?dl=0)

BASIC STATISTICS  
GENDER: Male  
HAIR/EYES: White hair, red eyes  
HOMELAND: City of Golgesi (The Shanties)  
DEITY: The Knight of Blood  
LANGUAGES: Undercommon, High Elven, Drow Sign Language  
RACE: Drow (Dark Elf)

ATTRIBUTES  
STRENGTH: 15[+2]  
DEXTERITY: 17[+3]  
CONSTITUTION: 11[+0]  
INTELLIGENCE: 13[+1]  
WISDOM: 8[-1]  
CHARISMA: 12[+1]

HIT POINTS: 51/51  
HERO POINTS: 3/5  
INITIATIVE: +3  
BASE SPEED/S: 30ft (land)

ARMOUR CLASS [AC]: 19  
TOUCH AC: 14  
FLAT-FOOTED AC: 15

BASE ATTACK BONUS [BAB]: +8/+3  
BASIC MELEE ATTACK: +10/+5  
BASIC RANGED ATTACK: +11/+6  
COMBAT MANEUVER BONUS [CMB]: +10/+5(+12/+7 for Tripping)  
COMBAT MANEUVER DEFENCE [CMD]: 23(25 for Tripping)

SAVES  
FORTITUDE: +6  
REFLEX: +5  
WILL: +1  
+2 vs effects that cause paralysis, slowing, or entanglement

[WEAPONS/ATTACKS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_weapon-descriptions)  
**_+1 ATTACK AND DAMAGE WHEN AT LEAST 5 FEET MOVED PRIOR TO ATTACKING._**  
[DUAL +1 SICKLES](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_sickle) – Two attacks a round at a reduced attack bonus, or one attack a round at normal attack bonus. This is a [trip](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/equipment.html#_trip) weapon.  
[DAGGER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_dagger) \- Can be thrown, range 10ft.

EQUIPMENT - [CARRYING CAPACITY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/additionalRules.html#_carrying-capacity) (STR 15)

EQUIPMENT - ITEM SLOTS  
CLOTHING: TRAVELLER'S OUTFIT  
This set of clothes consists of boots, a wool skirt or breeches, a sturdy belt, a shirt (perhaps with a vest or jacket), and an ample coat with a hood.

ARMOUR: +1 MITHRAL CHAIN SHIRT  
+5 armour bonus, +8 max DEX bonus, -0 Armour Check Penalty, 10% Arcane Spell Failure Chance, LIGHT  
SPECIAL: An item made from mithral weighs half as much as the same item made from other metals.

EQUIPMENT - POSSESSIONS  
Sickle [x2] 4lbs, +1 Mithral Chain Shirt 12.5lbs, Dagger 1lb, Waterskin 4lbs

>BACKPACK, MASTERWORK 4lbs (Capacity 60lbs, +1 STR to carry loads)  
Bedroll 5lbs, Blanket (Common) 1lb, Rations (Trail) [x16] 16lb, Compass 0.5lbs, Karkat's Tattered Journal 3lbs, Spider's Silk Rope 50ft 4lbs

>POUCH, BELT 0.5lbs (Capacity 10lbs)  
Flint and Steel, Charcoal Stick [x1], Whetstone 1lb, Potion of Remove Curse [x1], Potion of Cure Light Wounds [x1], Potion of Cure Moderate Wounds [x5], Impact Foam [x1] 1lb

TOTAL 44lbs (9.5lbs without backpack)

EQUIPMENT - MONEY  
0CP, 0SP, 500GP, 0PP  
OTHER:

SKILLS  
TRAINED  
ACROBATICS +7(4)*, +CLIMB +7(2)*, DIPLOMACY +6(5), +INTIMIDATE +7(3), KNOWLEDGE(LOCAL) +3(3), PERCEPTION +5(4), SENSE MOTIVE +7(8)

UNTRAINED  
APPRAISE +0, BLUFF +1, +CRAFT +0, DISGUISE +1, ESCAPE ARTIST +3*, HEAL -1, PERFORM +1, +RIDE +3*, STEALTH +3*, +SURVIVAL -1, +SWIM +2*  
(FLY +3*)

*Armour Check Penalty: Skill at –0 due to armour worn.  
+Class Skill

FEATS  
[COMBAT REFLEXES](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_combat-reflexes)  
The character can make additional attacks of opportunity.

[DODGE [REQUIRES: DEX 13]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_dodge)  
The character's training and reflexes allow him to react swiftly to avoid an opponents' attacks.

[IMPROVED TRIP [REQUIRES: INT 13, COMBAT EXPERTISE]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_improved-trip)  
The character is good at sending his opponents to the ground.

[MOBILITY [REQUIRES: DEX 13, DODGE]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#mobility)  
The character can easily move through a dangerous melee.

[RACIAL ABILITIES: DROW](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advancedRaceGuide/featuredRaces/drow.html#_drow-racial-traits)  
[DANCING LIGHTS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/dancingLights.html#_dancing-lights) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Drow can create up to four illusory lights and direct their motion.  
[DARKNESS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/darkness.html#_darkness) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Drow can touch an object and cause it to radiate a deep darkness that dims even magical light.  
[FAERIE FIRE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/faerieFire.html#_faerie-fire) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Drow can cause a person to glow with a pale fire that clings to them even if they are not otherwise visible.  
LANGUAGES - Drow begin play speaking Undercommon and High Elven. Drow with high Intelligence can choose bonus languages from the following: Common, Dark Folk, Draconic, Drow Sign Language, Dwarven, Gnome, Goblin or Infernal.

SPECIAL ABILITIES  
GODMARKED  
[HERO’S FORTUNE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/advancedNewRules.html#_hero's-fortune) \- Even at the start of his career, it was clear that the character had a chance at greatness, and his legend continues to grow with every adventure.  
[INSPIRING COMMAND](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/cleric.html#_inspiring-command) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] – The character can issue an inspiring command to his allies, improving their accuracy, defence, and focus for a short time.  
[ALARM](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/alarm.html#_alarm) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (3 USES/DAY) - Alarm creates a subtle ward on a selected area.  
[SHIELD OTHER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/shieldOther.html#_shield-other) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (2 USES/DAY) - The character takes half the damage dealt to their target.  
[GLYPH OF WARDING](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/glyphOfWarding.html#glyph-of-warding) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – An inscription to ward an area or object against intruders.  
[SACRIFICIAL BOND](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/cleric.html#sacrificial-bond) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – When an ally within 30ft takes damage from an attack, the character can as an immediate action transfer this damage to himself.

CLASS FEATURES  
WEAPON AND ARMOUR PROFICIENCY: FIGHTER  
A fighter is proficient with all simple and martial weapons and with all armour (heavy, light, and medium) and shields (including tower shields).

FEAT: [TWO-WEAPON FIGHTING [REQUIRES: DEX 15]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_two-weapon-fighting)  
The fighter can fight with a weapon wielded in each of his hands. He can make one extra attack each round with the secondary weapon.

FEAT: [WEAPON FOCUS (SICKLE) [REQUIRES: WEAPON PROFICIENCY, BAB +1]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_weapon-focus)  
The fighter gains a bonus on all attack rolls he makes using the selected weapon.

FEAT: [COMBAT EXPERTISE [REQUIRES: INT 13]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_combat-expertise)  
The fighter can increase his defence at the expense of his accuracy.

[AGILITY (+2)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/fighter.html#_agility) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
At 2nd level, the mobile fighter gains a bonus on saving throws made against effects that cause him to become paralysed, slowed, or entangled.

[ARMOUR TRAINING 2 [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/fighter.html#_armor-training)  
At 3rd level, the fighter learns to be more manoeuvrable in armour and is less encumbered by heavier armour.

[LEAPING ATTACK [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/fighter.html#_armor-training)  
At 5th level, the mobile fighter becomes more dangerous when they keep moving in combat. At 7th level, a fighter can move at his normal speed while wearing heavy armor.

FEAT: [DOUBLE SLICE [REQUIRES: DEX 15, TWO-WEAPON FIGHTING]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_double-slice)  
The fighter's off-hand weapon while dual-wielding strikes with greater power.

FEAT: [SPRING ATTACK [REQUIRES: MOBILITY, BAB +4]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#spring-attack)  
The fighter can deftly move up to a foe, strike, and withdraw before they can react.

* * *

GAMZEE MAKARA [BARBARIAN](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/barbarian.html#_barbarian) 8  
CHAOTIC NEUTRAL

TL:DR - Gamzee is now even harder to damage while he's raging, and his Godmark lets him be more destructive, too.

[ ](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/byz32hnlvct9z55/Gamzee%20Makara.png?dl=0)

BASIC STATISTICS  
GENDER: Male  
HAIR/EYES: White hair, purple eyes  
HOMELAND: City of Golgesi (House Kutsanmis Enclave)  
DEITY: The Bard of Rage  
LANGUAGES: Undercommon, High Elven  
RACE: Drow (Dark Elf)

ATTRIBUTES  
STRENGTH: 14[+2] (18[+4])  
DEXTERITY: 15[+2]  
CONSTITUTION: 15[+2] (18[+4])  
INTELLIGENCE: 8[-1]  
WISDOM: 12[+1]  
CHARISMA: 12[+1]

HIT POINTS: 76(92)/76(92)  
HERO POINTS: 2/3  
INITIATIVE: +2  
BASE SPEED/S: 40ft (land)

ARMOUR CLASS [AC]: 18(16) [+1 VS TRAPS]  
TOUCH AC: 12(10)  
FLAT-FOOTED AC: 16(14)  
DAMAGE REDUCTION: 1/- (2/-)  
WHILE RAGING: +1 deflection bonus to AC against the attacks of lawful creatures; +1/- damage reduction.

BASE ATTACK BONUS [BAB]: +8/+3  
BASIC MELEE ATTACK: +10/+5 (+12/+7)  
BASIC RANGED ATTACK: +10/+5  
COMBAT MANEUVER BONUS [CMB]: +10/+5 (+12/+7)  
COMBAT MANEUVER DEFENCE [CMD]: 22(24)

SAVES  
FORTITUDE: +8(10)  
REFLEX: +4 [+1 VS TRAPS]  
WILL: +5(7)  
+2 bonus on Reflex saves made to avoid traps and a +2 dodge bonus to Armor Class against attacks made by traps.  
WHILE RAGING: +1 resistance bonus on saving throws against confusion, insanity, polymorph, and effects with the lawful descriptor.

[WEAPONS/ATTACKS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_weapon-descriptions)  
[WARHAMMER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_warhammer)  
[IMPROVISED WEAPONS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/equipment.html#_improvised-weapons) – Attack as per basic ranged or melee attack, and damage as per closest match on the weapon list. There is a +1 circumstance bonus to attack rolls for improvised splash weapons.

EQUIPMENT - [CARRYING CAPACITY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/additionalRules.html#_carrying-capacity) (STR 14/18)

EQUIPMENT - ITEM SLOTS  
CLOTHING: TRAVELLER'S OUTFIT  
This set of clothes consists of boots, wool breeches, a sturdy belt, a shirt (perhaps with a vest or jacket), and an ample coat with a hood.

ARMOUR: +3 STUDDED LEATHER ARMOUR  
+6 armour bonus, +5 max DEX bonus, -0 Armour Check Penalty, 15% Arcane Spell Failure Chance, LIGHT

EQUIPMENT - POSSESSIONS  
+3 Studded Leather Armour 20lbs, Warhammer 5lbs, Waterskin 4lbs

>[HANDY HAVERSACK](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/magicItems/wondrousItems.html#_handy-haversack) 5lbs (Extradimensional Space, Capacity 80lbs+20lbs+20lbs)  
Tent (Pavilion, 10 people) 50lbs, Rations (Trail) [x20] 20lb  
Bedroll 5lbs, Blanket (Common) 1lb  
Kit (Cooking) 2lbs, Kit (Mess) 1lb, Kit (Gear Maintenance) 2lbs, Kit (Grooming) 2lbs, Kit (Entertainer’s) 3lbs, Meditation Tea [x3]

>POUCH, BELT 0.5lbs (Capacity 10lbs)  
Potion of Cure Light Wounds [x4], Flint and Steel, [Waterproof War Paint Kit](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic-items/3rd-party-magic-items/3rd-party-wondrous-items/4-winds-fantasy-gaming/waterproof-war-paint-kit) 1lb [10 uses] 

TOTAL 15.5lbs (70lbs+6lbs+10lbs in EDS) 

EQUIPMENT - MONEY  
0CP, 8SP, 501GP, 0PP  
OTHER:  


SKILLS  
TRAINED  
+ACROBATICS +8(3)*, BLUFF +4(3), +CRAFT(COOKING) +3(1), +INTIMIDATE +12(8), PERFORM(CHILL RHYMES) +5(4), STEALTH +10(8)*

UNTRAINED  
APPRAISE -1, +CLIMB +2*, +CRAFT +0, DIPLOMACY +1, DISGUISE +1, ESCAPE ARTIST +2*, HEAL +1, +PERCEPTION +1, PERFORM +1, +RIDE +2*, SENSE MOTIVE +1, STEALTH +2*, +SURVIVAL +1, +SWIM +2*  
(FLY +2*)

*Armour Check Penalty: Skill at –0 due to armour worn  
+Class Skill

FEATS  
[THROW ANYTHING](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_throw-anything)  
The character is used to throwing things he has on hand.

[POWER ATTACK [REQUIRES: STR 13, BAB+1]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_power-attack)  
The character can make exceptionally deadly melee attacks by sacrificing accuracy for strength.

[CORNUGON SMASH [REQUIRES: POWER ATTACK, INTIMIDATE 6 RANKS]](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/feats/combat-feats/cornugon-smash-combat)  
Taken at level 5, unlocked at level 6. When the character damages an opponent with a Power Attack, he may make an immediate Intimidate check as a free action to attempt to demoralize his opponent.

[VITAL STRIKE [REQUIRES: BAB +6]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#vital-strike)  
The character makes a single attack that deals significantly more damage than normal.

[RACIAL ABILITIES: DROW](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advancedRaceGuide/featuredRaces/drow.html#_drow-racial-traits)  
[DANCING LIGHTS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/dancingLights.html#_dancing-lights) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Drow can create up to four illusory lights and direct their motion.  
[DARKNESS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/darkness.html#_darkness) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Drow can touch an object and cause it to radiate a deep darkness that dims even magical light.  
[FAERIE FIRE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/faerieFire.html#_faerie-fire) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Drow can cause a person to glow with a pale fire that clings to them even if they are not otherwise visible.  
LANGUAGES - Drow begin play speaking Undercommon and High Elven. Drow with high Intelligence can choose bonus languages from the following: Common, Dark Folk, Draconic, Drow Sign Language, Dwarven, Gnome, Goblin or Infernal.

SPECIAL ABILITIES  
GODMARKED  
CATCH OFF-GUARD: Foes are surprised by the character’s skilled use of unorthodox and improvised weapons.  
[DESTRUCTIVE SMITE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/cleric.html#_destruction-domain) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (4 USES/DAY)– The character can do more damage on a single melee attack, dependent on his character level.  
[ENLARGE PERSON](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/enlargePerson.html#_enlarge-person) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (3 USES/DAY) - This power causes instant growth of a humanoid creature, doubling its height and multiplying its weight by 8.  
[BULL'S STRENGTH](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/bullSStrength.html#_bull-s-strength) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (2 USES/DAY) - The character gains +4 Strength for 1 minute/level.  
[RAGE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/rage.html#rage) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Causes target(s) to rage in a similar manner to a barbarian.

  
[DESTRUCTIVE AURA](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/cleric.html#destruction-domain) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (8 ROUNDS/DAY) – The character can emit a 30-foot aura of destruction, boosting damage and ensuring more critical hits land.

CLASS FEATURES  
WEAPON AND ARMOUR PROFICIENCY: BARBARIAN  
A barbarian is proficient with all simple and martial weapons, light armour, medium armour and shields (except tower shields).

FAST MOVEMENT [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
A barbarian can move faster than other members of his race, so long as he is not heavily burdened.

[RAGE](paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/barbarian.html#_rage) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY] (22 ROUNDS/DAY)  
A barbarian can call on inner reserves of strength and ferocity, granting him additional combat prowess for a while but exhausting him when spent.

RAGE POWERS  
[INTIMIDATING GLARE [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/barbarian.html#_rage-powers-intimidating-glare)  
While raging, the barbarian can make an Intimidate check against one adjacent foe and attempt to leave them shaken.  
[NO ESCAPE [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/barbarian.html#_rage-powers-no-escape)  
Once per rage, the barbarian can move up to double his normal speed as an immediate action but he can only use this ability when an adjacent foe uses a withdraw action to move away from him.  
[LESSER CHAOS TOTEM [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/barbarian.html#_chaos-totem,-lesser)  
While raging, the barbarian gains a +1 deflection bonus to AC against the attacks of lawful creatures and a +1 resistance bonus on saving throws against confusion, insanity, polymorph, and effects with the lawful descriptor.  
[INCREASED DAMAGE REDUCTION [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/barbarian.html#rage-powers-increased-damage-reduction)  
The barbarian's damage reduction increases by 1/—. This increase is always active while the barbarian is raging. A barbarian can select this rage power up to three times. Its effects stack. A barbarian must be at least 8th level before selecting this rage power.

[UNCANNY DODGE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/barbarian.html#_uncanny-dodge-barbarian) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
At 2nd level, the barbarian gains the ability to react to danger before his senses would normally allow him to do so.

[TRAP SENSE (+2) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/barbarian.html#_trap-sense-barbarian)  
At 3rd level, the barbarian becomes adept at avoiding traps.

[IMPROVED UNCANNY DODGE [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/barbarian.html#_improved-uncanny-dodge-barbarian)  
At 5th level, the barbarian can no longer be flanked or sneak attacked except by a truly skillful rogue.

[DAMAGE REDUCTION [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/barbarian.html#damage-reduction-barbarian)  
At 7th level, a barbarian gains damage reduction. Subtract 1 from the damage the barbarian takes each time he is dealt damage from a weapon or a natural attack. Damage reduction can reduce damage to 0 but not below 0.

* * *

TEREZI PYROPE [INQUISITOR](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/baseClasses/inquisitor.html) 8  
LAWFUL NEUTRAL

TL:DR - Terezi can now use two judgements at once. She has an extra spell to cast.

[ ](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/tkkwrfiwb5efh6r/Terezi%20Pyrope.png?dl=0)

BASIC STATISTICS  
GENDER: Female  
HAIR/EYES: White hair, teal eyes  
HOMELAND: City of Golgesi (Temple Spire)  
DEITY: The Seer of Mind  
LANGUAGES: Undercommon, High Elven, Infernal  
RACE: Drow (Dark Elf)

ATTRIBUTES  
STRENGTH: 10[+0]  
DEXTERITY: 16[+3]  
CONSTITUTION: 12[+1]  
INTELLIGENCE: 12[+1]  
WISDOM: 16[+3]  
CHARISMA: 10[+0]

HIT POINTS: 53/53  
HERO POINTS: 4/5  
INITIATIVE: +6  
BASE SPEED/S: 30ft (land)

ARMOUR CLASS [AC]: 20  
TOUCH AC: 13  
FLAT-FOOTED AC: 17

BASE ATTACK BONUS [BAB]: +6/+1  
BASIC MELEE ATTACK: +6/+1  
BASIC RANGED ATTACK: +9/+4  
COMBAT MANEUVER BONUS [CMB]: +6  
COMBAT MANEUVER DEFENCE [CMD]: 19

SAVES  
FORTITUDE: +7  
REFLEX: +5  
WILL: +9

[WEAPONS/ATTACKS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_weapon-descriptions)  
**_+2 TO ATTACK AND +2D6 DAMAGE WHEN USING THE BANE ABILITY._**  
INCORRUPTIBLE (+1 [IMPERVIOUS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/magicArmsAndArmor/weaponSpecialAbilities.html#_impervious)[SILVERSHEEN](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/equipment---final/special-materials#TOC-Silversheen) [SWORD CANE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/advancedGear.html#_sword-cane)) - A more accurate but less damaging weapon, warded from damage and decay.  
[SWORD CANE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/advancedGear.html#_sword-cane) \- The blade is well-concealed in the cane.  
[CROSSBOW, LIGHT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_light-crossbow) – 20 ammunition  
[DAGGER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_dagger) \- Can be thrown, range 10ft.

EQUIPMENT - [CARRYING CAPACITY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/additionalRules.html#_carrying-capacity) (STR 10)

EQUIPMENT - ITEM SLOTS  
CLOTHING: EXPLORER'S OUTFIT  
This set of clothes is for someone who never knows what to expect. It includes sturdy boots, leather breeches, a belt, a shirt, gloves and a cloak. The clothes have plenty of pockets (especially the cloak). The outfit also includes any extra accessories the character might need, such as a scarf or a wide-brimmed hat.

ARMOUR: +2 [BLUE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/monsters/dragon.html#_chromatic-dragon-blue) [DRAGONHIDE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/materials.html#_dragonhide) SCALE ARMOUR (ARMOURED COAT OVER THE TOP HAS NO EFFECT)  
+7 armour bonus, +3 max DEX bonus, -3 Armour Check Penalty, 25% Arcane Spell Failure Chance, MEDIUM  
SPECIAL: Armorsmiths can work with the hides of dragons to produce armour or shields of masterwork quality.

EQUIPMENT - POSSESSIONS  
Incorruptible (+1 Impervious Silversheen Sword Cane) 4lbs, Crossbow (Light) 4lbs, Bolts (Crossbow) [x40] 4lb, +2 Blue Dragonhide Scale Armor 30lbs, Armoured Coat 20lbs, Eyeglasses, Holy Symbol (Copper) 0.5lb, Dagger 1lb, Waterskin 4lbs

>HANDY HAVERSACK 5lbs (Extradimensional Space, Capacity 80lbs+20lbs+20lbs)  
Bedroll 5lb, Blanket (Common) 1lb, Rope (Hemp) [50ft] 10lbs, Sword Cane 4lbs, Manacles 2lbs

>POUCH, BELT 0.5lbs (Capacity 10lbs)  
Flint and Steel, Whetstone 1lb, Bandages of Rapid Recovery 1lb, Potion of Cure Light Wounds [x1], Wound Paste [x3] 0.5lbs, Charcoal Stick [x1], Page of Karkat's Journal, Potion of Cure Moderate Wounds [x5]

TOTAL 33lbs (16lbs+0lbs+0lbs in EDS)

EQUIPMENT - MONEY  
8CP, 9SP, 503GP, 0PP  
OTHER:

SKILLS  
TRAINED  
+BLUFF +11(8), +DIPLOMACY +11(8), +INTIMIDATE +13(8), +KNOWLEDGE DUNGEONEERING +10(7), +KNOWLEDGE LOCAL +8(4), +KNOWLEDGE RELIGION +9(5), +PERCEPTION +14(8), +PROFESSION(GOLGESI LAWKEEPER) +8(2), +SENSE MOTIVE +16(8)

UNTRAINED  
ACROBATICS +2*, APPRAISE +1, +CLIMB +0*, +CRAFT +1, +DISGUISE +0, ESCAPE ARTIST +2*, +HEAL +3, PERFORM +0, +RIDE +2*, STEALTH +2*, SURVIVAL +3, SWIM +0*  
(FLY +2*)

*Armour Check Penalty: Skill at –3 due to armour worn.  
+Class Skill

FEATS  
[BLIND-FIGHT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_blind-fight%0A)  
The character is skilled at attacking opponents that she cannot clearly perceive.

[JUDGMENT SURGE [REQUIRES: JUDGMENT CLASS FEATURE]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/ultimateMagicFeats.html#_judgment-surge) (1 USE/DAY)  
Once per day, the power of the character's faith surges, further empowering her judgements.

[WEAPON FOCUS: (SWORD CANE) [REQUIRES: WEAPON PROFICIENCY, BAB +1]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_weapon-focus) (1 USE/DAY)  
The character gains a +1 bonus on all attack rolls she makes using the selected weapon.

[EXTENDED BANE [REQUIRES: BANE CLASS FEATURE]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/ultimateMagicFeats.html#extended-bane)  
The character's dedication knows no limit. Her wrath dies hard.

[RACIAL ABILITIES: DROW](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advancedRaceGuide/featuredRaces/drow.html#_drow-racial-traits)  
[DANCING LIGHTS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/dancingLights.html#_dancing-lights) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Drow can create up to four illusory lights and direct their motion.  
[DARKNESS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/darkness.html#_darkness) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Drow can touch an object and cause it to radiate a deep darkness that dims even magical light.  
[FAERIE FIRE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/faerieFire.html#_faerie-fire) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Drow can cause a person to glow with a pale fire that clings to them even if they are not otherwise visible.  
LANGUAGES - Drow begin play speaking Undercommon and High Elven. Drow with high Intelligence can choose bonus languages from the following: Common, Dark Folk, Draconic, Drow Sign Language, Dwarven, Gnome, Goblin or Infernal.

SPECIAL ABILITIES  
GODMARKED  
[HERO’S FORTUNE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/advancedNewRules.html#_hero's-fortune) \- Even at the start of her career, it was clear that the character had a chance at greatness, and her legend continues to grow with every adventure.  
[LORE KEEPER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/cleric.html#_knowledge-domain) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] – The character can touch a creature to learn about its abilities and weaknesses.  
EXTRA – The character treats all Knowledge skills as class skills.  
[DISGUISE SELF](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/disguiseSelf.html#_disguise-self) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (3 USES/DAY) - The character's appearance changes— potentially including clothing, armor, weapons, and equipment. She cannot change her creature type, but otherwise the extent of the apparent change is up to her.  
[MIRROR IMAGE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/mirrorImage.html#_mirror-image) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (2 USES/DAY) - The character can create decoy duplicates of herself.  
[DISPEL MAGIC](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/dispelMagic.html#dispel-magic) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Dispels one ongoing spell, or temporarily suppresses a magic item, or counters another spell.

CLASS FEATURES  
WEAPON AND ARMOUR PROFICIENCY: INQUISITOR  
An inquisitor is proficient with all simple weapons, plus the hand crossbow, longbow, repeating crossbow, shortbow, and the favoured weapon of her deity (THE SEER OF MIND favours the SWORD CANE). She is also proficient with light armour, medium armour, and shields (except tower shields).

DOMAIN: [INQUISITION (Justice)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spellcastingClassOptions/inquisitor.html#_justice-inquisition)  
JUDICIOUS FORCE [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (3 USES/DAY)  
The inquisitor or an ally next to her has a better chance of doing a massively damaging strike to their foe.

[JUDGEMENT](paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/baseClasses/inquisitor.html#_judgment) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (3 USES/DAY)  
The inquisitor can gain one of several abilities for a combat, so long as she is able to participate in the action. She can also switch which ability she is using partway through.

MONSTER LORE [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
The inquisitor is skilled at identifying the abilities and weaknesses of creatures.

STERN GAZE [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
Inquisitors are skilled at sensing deception and intimidating their foes.

[DETECT ALIGNMENT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/baseClasses/inquisitor.html#_detect-alignment) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY]  
At will, the inquisitor can use _detect chaos, detect evil, detect good_ or _detect law._ She can only use one of these at any given time.

[TRACK](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/baseClasses/inquisitor.html#_track) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
At 2nd level, the inquisitor adds half her level on Survival skill checks made to follow or identify tracks.

[SOLO TACTICS [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/baseClasses/inquisitor.html#_solo-tactics)  
At 3rd level, the Inquisitor can make use of her teamwork feats as if her allies had the same feats as she did, although only she can reap the benefits.

[TEAMWORK FEAT: LOOKOUT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/advancedFeats.html#_lookout)  
The inquisitor's allies help her avoid being surprised.

[BANE [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/baseClasses/inquisitor.html#_bane) (10 ROUNDS/DAY)  
At 5th level, an inquisitor can imbue one of her weapons with the bane weapon special ability as a swift action, doing far more damage against [the chosen type of creature.](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/magicItems/weapons.html#_weapons-bane)

[DISCERN LIES [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] ](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/baseClasses/inquisitor.html#_discern-lies) (5 ROUNDS/DAY)  
At 5th level, an inquisitor can discern lies, [as per the spell](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/discernLies.html#_discern-lies), for a number of rounds per day equal to her inquisitor level.

[SECOND JUDGMENT [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/baseClasses/inquisitor.html#second-judgment)  
At 8th level, whenever an inquisitor uses her judgment ability, she selects two different judgments, instead of one.

[TEAMWORK FEAT: SWAP PLACES](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/advancedFeats.html#_swap-places)  
The inquisitor is skilled at changing places with her allies during a chaotic melee.

SPELLS  
LEVEL 0 [At Will] Save DC 13  
[BRAND](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/spells/brand.html#_brand), [DAZE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/daze.html#_daze), [DETECT MAGIC](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/detectMagic.html#_detect-magic), [DETECT POISON](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/detectPoison.html#_detect-poison), [SIFT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/spells/sift.html#_sift), [STABILIZE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/stabilize.html#_stabilize)

LEVEL 1 [5/Day] Save DC 14  
[COMPREHEND LANGUAGES](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/comprehendLanguages.html#_comprehend-languages), [CURE LIGHT WOUNDS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/cureLightWounds.html#_cure-light-wounds), [DIVINE FAVOUR](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/divineFavor.html#_divine-favor), [PERSUASIVE GOAD](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spells/persuasiveGoad.html#_persuasive-goad), [HEIGHTENED AWARENESS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advancedClassGuide/spells/heightenedAwareness.html#)

LEVEL 2 [5/Day] Save DC 15  
[BLOODHOUND](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/spells/bloodhound.html#_bloodhound), [CONFESS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/spells/confess.html#_confess), [SEE INVISIBILITY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/seeInvisibility.html#_see-invisibility), [ZONE OF TRUTH](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/zoneOfTruth.html#_zone-of-truth)

LEVEL 3 [3/Day] Save DC 16  
[BLOOD SCENT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advancedRaceGuide/featuredRaces/orcs.html#blood-scent), [RIGHTEOUS VIGOR](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/spells/righteousVigor.html#righteous-vigor), [RETRIBUTION](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/spells/retribution.html#retribution)

* * *

SOLLUX CAPTOR [SORCERER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/sorcerer.html#_sorcerer) \- [ARCANE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/sorcerer.html#_arcane) ([SAGE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spellcastingClassOptions/sorcerer.html#_sage))/[DESTINED](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/sorcerer.html#_destined) ([KARMIC](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spellcastingClassOptions/sorcerer.html#_karmic)) ([CROSSBLOODED](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spellcastingClassOptions/sorcerer.html#_crossblooded-\(archetype\)) [WORDCASTER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/ultimateMagicWordsOfPower.html)) 8  
CHAOTIC NEUTRAL

TL:DR - Sollux now has 4th level spellcasting, letting him create more complex wordspells. His godmark lets him dispel magic.

[](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/kgu19nfbaxeezfh/Sollux%20Captor.png?dl=0)

BASIC STATISTICS  
GENDER: Male  
HAIR/EYES: White hair, one red and one blue eye  
HOMELAND: The Greenweald Forest Region (No Fixed Abode)  
DEITY: The Mage of Doom  
LANGUAGES: Common, High Elven, Orc, Infernal, Undercommon  
RACE: Halfbreed (Drow/Tiefling)

ATTRIBUTES  
STRENGTH: 12[+1]  
DEXTERITY: 14[+2]  
CONSTITUTION: 13[+1]  
INTELLIGENCE: 19[+4]  
WISDOM: 8[-1]  
CHARISMA: 10[+0]

HIT POINTS: 44/44  
HERO POINTS: 2/3  
INITIATIVE: +6  
BASE SPEED/S: 30ft (land)

ARMOUR CLASS [AC]: 15  
TOUCH AC: 12  
FLAT-FOOTED AC: 13

BASE ATTACK BONUS [BAB]: +4  
BASIC MELEE ATTACK: +5  
BASIC RANGED ATTACK: +6  
COMBAT MANEUVER BONUS [CMB]: +5  
COMBAT MANEUVER DEFENCE [CMD]: 17

SAVES  
FORTITUDE: +3  
REFLEX: +4  
WILL: +5

[WEAPONS/ATTACKS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_weapon-descriptions)  
[SHURIKEN](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_shuriken) \- 5 Ammunition

EQUIPMENT - [CARRYING CAPACITY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/additionalRules.html#_carrying-capacity) (STR 12)

EQUIPMENT - ITEM SLOTS  
CLOTHING: EXPLORER'S OUTFIT  
This set of clothes is for someone who never knows what to expect. It includes sturdy boots, leather breeches, a belt, a shirt with a jacket, gloves and a cloak. The clothes have plenty of pockets (especially the cloak). The outfit also includes any extra accessories the character might need, such as a scarf or a wide-brimmed hat.

NECK: HAUNTED BROKEN AMULET OF THE LABYRINTH (SIR WILLIAM COSBIE)  
Effect Unknown

WRISTS: [BRACERS OF ARMOUR +3](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/magicItems/wondrousItems.html#_bracers-of-armor)  
These items appear to be wrist or arm guards. They surround the wearer with an invisible but tangible field of force, granting him an armour bonus of +1, just as though he were wearing armour. Both bracers must be worn for the magic to be effective.

EQUIPMENT - POSSESSIONS  
Shuriken [x5] 0.5lb, Bracers of Armour +3 1lb, Eyeglasses, Haunted Broken Amulet of the Labyrinth

>[BAG OF HOLDING, TYPE 1](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/magicItems/wondrousItems.html#_bag-of-holding) 15lbs (Capacity 250lbs)  
Tent (Medium, 2 people) 30lbs, Bedroll [x2] 10lbs, Blanket (Common) [x2] 2lb, Mysterious Journal 3lbs, Potion of Cure Moderate Wounds [x5]

TOTAL 16.5lbs (45lbs in EDS)

EQUIPMENT - MONEY  
0CP, 8SP, 508GP, 0PP  
OTHER:

SKILLS  
TRAINED  
APPRAISE +12(8), +KNOWLEDGE ARCANA +17(8), +KNOWLEDGE DUNGEONEERING +15(8), +KNOWLEDGE HISTORY +14(7), +SPELLCRAFT +17(8), +USE MAGIC DEVICE +12(8)

UNTRAINED  
+ACROBATICS +2*, +BLUFF -1, CLIMB +1*, +CRAFT +3, DIPLOMACY +0, DISGUISE +0, ESCAPE ARTIST +2*, HEAL -1, +INTIMIDATE +0, PERCEPTION -1, PERFORM +0, RIDE +2*, SENSE MOTIVE +0, STEALTH +0*, SURVIVAL -1, SWIM +1*  
(+FLY +2*)

*Armour Check Penalty: Skill at –0 due to armour worn.  
+Class Skill

FEATS  
EXTRA WORD [CASTER LEVEL 1ST IN BARD, ORACLE OR SORCERER]   
The character has uncovered a new word of power.

[COMBAT CASTING](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_combat-casting)  
The character is adept at spellcasting when threatened or distracted.

[IMPROVED INITIATIVE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_improved-initiative)  
The character's quick reflexes allow him to react rapidly to danger.

[INTENSIFIED SPELL](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/advancedFeats.html#intensified-spell)  
The character's spells can go beyond normal damage limitations.

[RACIAL ABILITIES: HALF-ELF](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advancedRaceGuide/coreRaces/halfElves.html#_half-elf-racial-traits) ([ALTERNATE RACIAL TRAITS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advancedRaceGuide/coreRaces/halfElves.html#_alternate-racial-traits))  
ATTRIBUTE SHIFT - +2 Intelligence.  
DROW-BLOODED – Replaces Low-Light Vision.  
ELVEN IMMUNITIES.  
MIXED BLOOD – The character counts as both Drow and Tiefling for any effect related to race. Replaces Elf Blood.  
WARY – Replaces Keen Senses.  
DUAL MINDED – Replaces Adaptability.  
ARCANE TRAINING – Replaces Multitalented.  
LANGUAGES – Halfbreeds begin play speaking Common and High Elven. Halfbreeds with high Intelligence scores can choose any language as a bonus language (except secret languages, such as Druidic).

SPECIAL ABILITIES  
GODMARKED  
WEAPON PROFICIENCY (SHURIKEN)  
[ARCANE BEACON](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/cleric.html#_arcane-beacon) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (3 USES/DAY) – The character can emanate an aura that makes spells cast near him more powerful and harder to resist.  
[BANE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/bane.html#_bane) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (3 USES/DAY) - Bane fills enemies with fear and doubt, and counters and dispels Bless.  
[AID](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/aid.html#_aid) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (2 USES/DAY) – Aid grants a bonus to attacks and saves, and makes the target temporarily harder to kill.  
[BESTOW CURSE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/bestowCurse.html#bestow-curse) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) - You place a curse on the subject.  
[DISPELLING TOUCH](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/cleric.html#magic-domain) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – The character can use a targeted dispel magic effect as a melee touch attack.

CLASS FEATURES  
WEAPON AND ARMOUR PROFICIENCY: SORCERER  
Sorcerers are proficient with all simple weapons. They are not proficient with any type of armour or shield. Armour interferes with a sorcerer's gestures, which can cause his spells with somatic components to fail.

FEAT: [ESCHEW MATERIALS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_eschew-materials)  
The character can cast many spells without needing to utilize minor material components.

BLOODLINE FEAT: [STILL SPELL](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#still-spell)  
The sorcerer can cast spells without moving, by raising the level of the spell.

BLOODLINE: [CROSSBLOODED](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spellcastingClassOptions/sorcerer.html#_crossblooded-%28archetype%29) [SAGE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spellcastingClassOptions/sorcerer.html#_sage)/[KARMIC](paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spellcastingClassOptions/sorcerer.html#_karmic)  
CLASS SKILL: Knowledge (Any One: Dungeoneering) and Knowledge History.  
BLOODLINE ARCANA: Unlike most sorcerers, the character understands and masters his magic through intellect rather than force of personality, and has a better understanding of arcane forces as a result. Additionally, if he fails to cast when under threat, the creature that disrupted his concentration is left vulnerable to attack.  
DRAWBACK: A crossblooded sorcerer has one fewer spell known at each level, and is weaker willed.  
BLOODLINE POWERS:  
1\. ARCANE BOLT [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (7 USES/DAY): The sorcerer can unleash a ray of magical force as an attack, increasing in power dependant on the sorcerer's class level.  
2.[ METAMAGIC ADEPT [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/sorcerer.html#_arcane) (1 USE/DAY): At 3rd level, the Sage Sorcerer can apply metamagic feats to his spells without any reduction in casting speed.

SPELLS: BLOODLINE SPELLS (CAN BE USED INSTEAD OF EQUIVALENT LEVEL WORDSPELL)  
LEVEL 1 – [IDENTIFY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/identify.html#_identify)(Gives a bonus to identifying the properties and command words of magic items in the caster's possession.)  
LEVEL 2 – [BLUR](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/blur.html#_blur)(The target's outline becomes blurred, and they are harder to hit.)  
LEVEL 3 – [DISPEL MAGIC](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/dispelMagic.html#dispel-magic)(A targeted dispel or a counterspell.)  


SPELLS: [WORDS OF POWER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/ultimateMagicWordsOfPower.html#_words-of-power)  
LEVEL 0 [At Will] Save DC 14  
One Effect Word Only (Level 0)

LEVEL 1 [7/Day] Save DC 15  
One Effect Word Only (Level 1 or lower)

LEVEL 2 [7/Day] Save DC 16  
One Effect Word (Level 2 or lower)  
Two Effect Words (Level 0 and Level 0)

LEVEL 3 [6/Day] Save DC 17  
One Effect Word (Level 3 or lower)  
Two Effect Words (Level 1 and Level 1 OR Level 2 and Level 0)  
Three Effect Words (Level 0 and Level 0 and Level 0)

LEVEL 4 [4/Day] Save DC 18  
One Effect Word (Level 4 or lower)  
Two Effect Words (Level 2 and Level 2 OR Level 3 and Level 1)  
Three Effect Words (Level 2 and Level 0 and Level 0)

[EFFECT WORDS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/wordsOfPower/effectWords.html)  
[FLAME JET (Fire 0)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/wordsOfPower/effectWords/fireWords.html#_flame-jet-%28fire%29), [SPARK (Electricity 0)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/wordsOfPower/effectWords/electricityWords.html#_spark-%28electricity%29), [LIFT (Gravity 0)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/wordsOfPower/effectWords/gravityWords.html#_lift-%28gravity%29), [FORCE BLOCK (Armor 0)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/wordsOfPower/effectWords/armorWords.html#_force-block-%28armor%29), [DECIPHER (Language 0)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/wordsOfPower/effectWords/languageWords.html#_decipher-%28language%29), [SENSE MAGIC (Detection 0)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/wordsOfPower/effectWords/detectionWords.html#sense-magic-%28detection%29)  
[BURNING FLASH (Fire 1)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/wordsOfPower/effectWords/fireWords.html#_burning-flash-%28fire%29), [GLIDE (Flight 1)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/spells/glide.html#_glide-), [SHOCK ARC (Electricity 1)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/wordsOfPower/effectWords/electricityWords.html#_shock-arc-%28electricity%29), [FORCE SHIELD (Armor 1)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/wordsOfPower/effectWords/armorWords.html#_force-shield-%28armor%29), [SERVITOR I (Summoning 1)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/wordsOfPower/effectWords/summoningWords.html#servitor-i-%28summoning%29)  
[SUPPRESS (Dispelling 2)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/wordsOfPower/effectWords/dispellingWords.html#_suppress-%28dispelling%29), [FORCE BOLT (Force 2)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/wordsOfPower/effectWords/forceWords.html#force-bolt-%28force%29)

[LIGHTNING BLAST (Electricity 3)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/wordsOfPower/effectWords/electricityWords.html#lightning-blast-%28electricity%29)   
[FIRE WALL (Wall 4)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/wordsOfPower/effectWords/wallWords.html#fire-wall-%28wall%29)   


[TARGET WORDS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/wordsOfPower/targetWords.html)  
CONE (Target 0), PERSONAL (Target 0), SELECTED (Target 0)  
BURST (Target 1), LINE (Target 1)  
BARRIER (Target 3)

[META WORDS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/wordsOfPower/metaWords.html)  
(NOTE: META WORDS CAN ONLY BE USED ½ WORDCASTER LEVEL TIMES PER DAY)  
BOOST (Meta 0), DISTANT (Meta 0)

* * *

ARADIA MEGIDO [SORCERER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/sorcerer.html#_sorcerer) \- [DREAMSPUN](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/sorcerer.html#_dreamspun) 8  
TRUE NEUTRAL

TL:DR - Aradia has a 4th-level (more powerful) spell and her godmark lets her allies use her ability to avoid or resist harm if she uses it.

[ ](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/qelebdu2cpjsasd/Aradia%20Megido.png?dl=0)

BASIC STATISTICS  
GENDER: Female  
HAIR/EYES: Black hair, red eyes  
HOMELAND: The Greenweald Forest Region (No Fixed Abode)  
DEITY: The Maid of Time  
LANGUAGES: Common, Infernal, Orc, High Elven  
RACE: Tiefling

ATTRIBUTES  
STRENGTH: 8[-1]  
DEXTERITY: 12[+1]  
CONSTITUTION: 12[+1]  
INTELLIGENCE: 15[+2]  
WISDOM: 14[+2]  
CHARISMA: 15[+2] (17[+3])

HIT POINTS: 42/42  
HERO POINTS: 1/3  
INITIATIVE: +6  
BASE SPEED/S: 30ft (land)

ARMOUR CLASS [AC]: 14  
TOUCH AC: 11  
FLAT-FOOTED AC: 13

BASE ATTACK BONUS [BAB]: +4  
BASIC MELEE ATTACK: +3  
BASIC RANGED ATTACK: +5  
COMBAT MANEUVER BONUS [CMB]: +3  
COMBAT MANEUVER DEFENCE [CMD]: 14

SAVES  
FORTITUDE: +3  
REFLEX: +3  
WILL: +8

[WEAPONS/ATTACKS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_weapon-descriptions)  
[WHIP](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_whip) \- This is a [nonlethal](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/equipment.html#_nonlethal), [reach](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/equipment.html#_reach-weapons), [disarm](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/equipment.html#_disarm), [trip](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/equipment.html#_trip) weapon. A whip deals no damage to any creature with an armour bonus of +1 or higher, or a natural armour bonus of +3 or higher. Using a whip provokes an attack of opportunity, just as if the character had used a ranged weapon.

EQUIPMENT - [CARRYING CAPACITY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/additionalRules.html#_carrying-capacity) (STR 8)

EQUIPMENT - ITEM SLOTS  
CLOTHING: EXPLORER'S OUTFIT  
This set of clothes is for someone who never knows what to expect. It includes sturdy boots, leather skirt, a belt, a shirt with a vest, gloves and a cloak. The clothes have plenty of pockets (especially the cloak). The outfit also includes any extra accessories the character might need, such as a scarf or a wide-brimmed hat.

WRISTS: [BRACERS OF ARMOUR +3](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/magicItems/wondrousItems.html#_bracers-of-armor)  
These items appear to be wrist or arm guards. They surround the wearer with an invisible but tangible field of force, granting him an armour bonus of +1, just as though he were wearing armour. Both bracers must be worn for the magic to be effective.

EQUIPMENT - POSSESSIONS  
Whip 2lbs, Bracers of Armour +3 1lb

>[BAG OF HOLDING, TYPE 1](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/magicItems/wondrousItems.html#_bag-of-holding)  
Rope (Silk) [50ft] 5lbs, String/Twine [50ft] 0.5lbs, Sewing Needle, Compass 0.5lbs, Kit (Map Making) [Anyone using this kit to draw a map as they travel receives a +2 circumstance bonus on Survival skill checks to avoid becoming lost] 2lbs, Wayfinder 1lb, Waterskin 4lbs

>POUCH, BELT 0.5lbs (Capacity 10lbs)  
Kit (Cooking) 2lbs, Potion of Cure Moderate Wounds [x5], Dust of Emulation [x1]

TOTAL 19.5lbs (13lbs in EDS)

EQUIPMENT - MONEY  
3CP, 3SP, 534GP, 0PP  
OTHER:

SKILLS  
TRAINED  
+ACROBATICS +5(1)*, CLIMB +3(4)*, KNOWLEDGE DUNGEONEERING +10(8), KNOWLEDGE HISTORY +10(8), SURVIVAL +7(5), SWIM +2(3)* +USE MAGIC DEVICE +12(7)

UNTRAINED  
APPRAISE +2, +BLUFF +2, +CRAFT +2, DIPLOMACY +2, DISGUISE +2, ESCAPE ARTIST +1*, HEAL +2, +INTIMIDATE +2, PERCEPTION +2, PERFORM +1, RIDE +1*, +SENSE MOTIVE +2, STEALTH +1*  
(+FLY +1*)

*Armour Check Penalty: Skill at –0 due to armour worn.  
+Class Skill

FEATS  
[COMBAT CASTING](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_combat-casting)  
The character is adept at spellcasting when threatened or distracted.

[IMPROVED INITIATIVE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_improved-initiative)  
The character's quick reflexes allow her to react rapidly to danger.

[WEAPON FOCUS: (WHIP) [REQUIRES: WEAPON PROFICIENCY, BAB +1]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_weapon-focus)  
The character gains a +1 bonus on all attack rolls she makes using the selected weapon.

[WHIP MASTERY [REQUIRES: WEAPON FOCUS, BAB +2]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/ultimateCombatFeats.html#whip-mastery)  
The character's superior expertise with this weapon does not provoke attacks of opportunity from her enemies. She can deal lethal damage with a whip, although she can still deal nonlethal damage when she wants. Further, she can deal damage with a whip despite a creature's armor bonus or natural armor bonus.

[RACIAL ABILITIES: TIEFLING](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advancedRaceGuide/featuredRaces/tieflings.html#_tiefling-racial-traits)  
TIEFLINGS DO NOT COUNT AS OUTSIDERS FOR THE PURPOSE OF THIS SETTING.  
SORCEROUS GIFT - Tiefling sorcerers treat their Charisma score as 2 points higher for all sorcerer class abilities.  
[DARKNESS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/darkness.html#_darkness) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Tieflings can touch an object and cause it to radiate a deep darkness that dims even magical light.  
LANGUAGES - Tieflings begin play speaking Common and either Abyssal or Infernal. Tieflings with high Intelligence scores can choose any of the following bonus languages: Abyssal, Draconic, Dwarven, High Elven, Gnome, Goblin, Halfling, Infernal, and Orc.

SPECIAL ABILITIES  
GODMARKED  
WEAPON PROFICIENCY (WHIP)  
[BINDING TIES](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/cleric.html#_binding-ties) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (5 USES/DAY) – The character can temporarily take the suffering as an ally onto herself, rendering them temporarily immune to the condition for a short time dependent on her character level.  
[DEATHWATCH](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/deathwatch.html#_deathwatch) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY](3 USES/DAY) - The character can determine the condition of creatures near death within the spell's range.  
[ONE TRACK MIND](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/3rd-party-spells/purple-duck-games/one-track-mind) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (2 USES/DAY) - The target repeats their last action over and over again.  
[DELAYED REACTION](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/3rd-party-spells/4-winds-fantasy-gaming---3rd-party-spells/delayed-reaction) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – The target is unable to react to things going on around them, delaying their action until after the character's next turn.  
[UNITY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/cleric.html#community-domain) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Whenever a spell or effect targets the character and one or more allies within 30 feet, she can use this ability to allow her allies to use her saving throw against the effect in place of their own.

CLASS FEATURES  
WEAPON AND ARMOUR PROFICIENCY: SORCERER  
Sorcerers are proficient with all simple weapons. They are not proficient with any type of armour or shield. Armour interferes with a sorcerer's gestures, which can cause her spells with somatic components to fail.

FEAT: [ESCHEW MATERIALS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_eschew-materials)  
The character can cast many spells without needing to utilize minor material components.

BLOODLINE FEAT: [COMBAT EXPERTISE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#combat-expertise)  
The sorcerer can choose to take a penalty on melee attack rolls and combat maneuver checks to gain a dodge bonus to her Armor Class.

BLOODLINE: [DREAMSPUN](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/sorcerer.html#_dreamspun)  
CLASS SKILL: Sense Motive.  
BLOODLINE ARCANA: Whenever the character targets a single creature with a spell, she is briefly better protected against attacks made by that foe.  
BLOODLINE POWERS:  
1\. [ LULLABY [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/lullaby.html#_lullaby) (6 USES/DAY): The character can make another creature drowsy, rendering them less perceptive and more susceptible to sleep magic.  
2.[ COMBAT PRECOGNITION [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/sorcerer.html#_combat-precognition)  
At 3rd level, the sorcerer’s insight into the future makes her faster to react to threats.

SPELLS  
LEVEL 0 [At Will] Save DC 13  
[DETECT MAGIC](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/detectMagic.html#_detect-magic), [GHOST SOUND](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/ghostSound.html#_ghost-sound), [MAGE HAND](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/mageHand.html#_mage-hand), [MESSAGE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/message.html#_message), [OPEN/CLOSE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/openClose.html#_open-close), [PRESTIDIGITATION](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/prestidigitation.html#_prestidigitation), [RAY OF FROST](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/rayOfFrost.html#_ray-of-frost), [TOUCH OF FATIGUE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/touchOfFatigue.html#touch-of-fatigue)

LEVEL 1 [7/Day] Save DC 14  
[CHILL TOUCH](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/chillTouch.html#_chill-touch), [HYPNOTISM](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/hypnotism.html#_hypnotism), [MAGIC MISSILE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/magicMissile.html#_magic-missile), [UNSEEN SERVANT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/unseenServant.html#_unseen-servant), [SLEEP](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/sleep.html#_sleep), [EAR-PIERCING SCREAM](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spells/earPiercingScream.html#ear-piercing-scream)

LEVEL 2 [7/Day] Save DC 15  
[AUGURY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/augury.html#_augury), [HAUNTING MISTS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spells/hauntingMists.html#_haunting-mists), [LEVITATE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/levitate.html#_levitate), [UNSHAKEABLE CHILL](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spells/unshakableChill.html#unshakable-chill)

LEVEL 3 [6/Day] Save DC 16  
[RAY OF EXHAUSTION](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/rayOfExhaustion.html#_ray-of-exhaustion), [DEEP SLUMBER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/deepSlumber.html#deep-slumber), [RAIN OF FROGS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spells/rainOfFrogs.html#rain-of-frogs)

LEVEL 4 [3/Day] Save DC 17  
[FORGETFUL SLUMBER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advancedRaceGuide/coreRaces/halfElves.html#forgetful-slumber)

* * *

KANAYA MARYAM [CLERIC](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/cleric.html#_cleric) 8  
TRUE NEUTRAL

TL:DR - Kanaya just became a whole lot harder to kill, and is strangely charming. She also has some slightly... undead traits.

[ ](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/x61dftcoyacm39k/Kanaya%20Maryam.png?dl=0)

BASIC STATISTICS  
GENDER: Female  
HAIR/EYES: White hair, green eyes  
HOMELAND: City of Golgesi (Temple Spire)/The Greenweald Forest Region (No Fixed Abode)  
DEITY: The Sylph of Space  
LANGUAGES: Undercommon, High Elven  
RACE: Drow (Dark Elf)

ATTRIBUTES  
STRENGTH: 13[+1]  
DEXTERITY: 10[+0]  
CONSTITUTION: 14[+2]  
INTELLIGENCE: 10[+0]  
WISDOM: 15[+2]  
CHARISMA: 14[+2]

HIT POINTS: 57/57  
HERO POINTS: 5/5  
INITIATIVE: +4  
BASE SPEED/S: 30ft (land)

ARMOUR CLASS [AC]: 18  
TOUCH AC: 10  
FLAT-FOOTED AC: 18

BASE ATTACK BONUS [BAB]: +6/+1  
BASIC MELEE ATTACK: +7/+2  
BASIC RANGED ATTACK: +6/+1  
COMBAT MANEUVER BONUS [CMB]: +7/+2  
COMBAT MANEUVER DEFENCE [CMD]: 17

SAVES  
FORTITUDE: +9  
REFLEX: +3  
WILL: +9

[WEAPONS/ATTACKS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_weapon-descriptions)  
[+1 ](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_sawtooth-sabre)[GREYFLAME](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/magicItems/weapons.html#_grayflame) SAWTOOTH SABRE - This weapon counts as “light" for the purposes of two-weapon fighting.  
SPECIAL: A Greyflame weapon responds to channeled positive or negative energy. When the wielder spends a swift action to channel energy through the weapon, it ignites with a strange gray flame that sheds light as a torch, increases the weapon's enhancement bonus by +1, and deals +1d6 damage (as the divine power from flame strike) to creatures struck by the weapon.  
[SHIELD BASH, LIGHT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/equipment.html#_shield-bash-attacks) \- Treat as “light" for the purposes of two-weapon fighting, and lose shield bonus to AC when used as a weapon.  
[DAGGER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_dagger) \- Can be thrown, range 10ft.

EQUIPMENT - [CARRYING CAPACITY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/additionalRules.html#_carrying-capacity) (STR 13)

EQUIPMENT - ITEM SLOTS  
CLOTHING: EXPLORER'S OUTFIT  
This set of clothes is for someone who never knows what to expect. It includes sturdy boots, a leather overtunic over a cloth skirt, a belt, a shirt, gloves and a cloak. The clothes have plenty of pockets (especially the cloak). The outfit also includes any extra accessories the character might need, such as a scarf or a wide-brimmed hat.

ARMOUR: +2 STUDDED LEATHER ARMOUR  
+5 armour bonus, +5 max DEX bonus, -0 Armour Check Penalty, 15% Arcane Spell Failure Chance, LIGHT

SHIELD: +1 LIGHT WOODEN SHIELD  
+2 shield bonus, -0 Armour Check Penalty, 5% Arcane Spell Failure Chance  
SPECIAL: The character can bash an opponent with a light shield. Used this way, a light shield is a martial bludgeoning weapon. For the purpose of penalties on attack rolls, treat a shield as a light weapon. If she uses her shield as a weapon, she loses its AC bonus until her next turn.

SHOULDERS: [CLOAK OF RESISTANCE +1](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/magicItems/wondrousItems.html#_cloak-of-resistance)  
This garment offers magical protection in the form of a +1 resistance bonus on all saving throws.

EQUIPMENT - POSSESSIONS  
Masterwork Sawtooth Sabre 2lbs, +1 Studded Leather Armour 20lbs, +1 Shield (Light Wooden) 5lbs, Cloak of Resistance +1 1lb, Eyeglasses, Holy Symbol (Wooden), Dagger 1lb, Waterskin 4lbs

>HANDY HAVERSACK 5lbs (Extradimensional Space, Capacity 80lbs+20lbs+20lbs)  
Tent (Small, 1 person) 20lbs, Bedroll 5lbs, Blanket (Common) 1lb, Kit (Healer's) [This collection of bandages and herbs provides a +2 circumstance bonus on Heal checks. A healer's kit is exhausted after 10 uses] 1lb, Meditation Tea [x3], Incense of Meditation [x3] 3lbs

>POUCH, BELT 0.5lbs (Capacity 10lbs)  
Flint and Steel, Whetstone 1lb, String/Twine [50ft] 0.5lbs, Sewing Needle  
Rations (Wandermeal) [x8] [Eating this tough, dried cake for over a week without other nutrients causes the eater to feel ill] 4lbs, Potion of Cure Moderate Wounds [x5]

TOTAL 21lbs (32lbs+0lbs+0lbs in EDS)

EQUIPMENT - MONEY  
9CP, 2SP, 13GP, 0PP  
OTHER:

SKILLS  
TRAINED  
+CRAFT(APPAREL) +8(5), +DIPLOMACY +13(8), +HEAL +10(5), +KNOWLEDGE RELIGION +7(4)

UNTRAINED  
ACROBATICS +0*, +APPRAISE +0, BLUFF +2, CLIMB +1*, +CRAFT +0, DISGUISE +2, ESCAPE ARTIST +0*, INTIMIDATE +2, PERCEPTION +2, PERFORM +2, RIDE +0*, +SENSE MOTIVE +2, STEALTH +0*, SURVIVAL +2, SWIM +1*  
(FLY +0*)

*Armour Check Penalty: Skill at –0 due to armour worn.  
+Class Skill

FEATS  
[ SELECTIVE CHANNELING [REQUIRES: CHA 13, CHANNEL ENERGY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_selective-channeling) (CAN EXCLUDE: 2)  
The character can choose whom to affect when she channels energy.

[COMBAT CASTING](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_combat-casting)  
The character is adept at spellcasting when threatened or distracted.

[VERSATILE CHANNELER [REQUIRES: CHANNEL ENERGY, NEUTRAL ALIGNMENT]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/ultimateMagicFeats.html#_versatile-channeler)  
The character can choose to channel positive and negative energy.

[IMPROVED INITIATIVE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#improved-initiative)  
The character's quick reflexes allow her to react rapidly to danger.

[RACIAL ABILITIES: DROW](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advancedRaceGuide/featuredRaces/drow.html#_drow-racial-traits)  
[DANCING LIGHTS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/dancingLights.html#_dancing-lights) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Drow can create up to four illusory lights and direct their motion.  
[DARKNESS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/darkness.html#_darkness) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Drow can touch an object and cause it to radiate a deep darkness that dims even magical light.  
[FAERIE FIRE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/faerieFire.html#_faerie-fire) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Drow can cause a person to glow with a pale fire that clings to them even if they are not otherwise visible.  
LANGUAGES - Drow begin play speaking Undercommon and High Elven. Drow with high Intelligence can choose bonus languages from the following: Common, Dark Folk, Draconic, Drow Sign Language, Dwarven, Gnome, Goblin or Infernal.

SPECIAL ABILITIES  
GODMARKED  
[HERO’S FORTUNE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/advancedNewRules.html#_hero's-fortune) \- Even at the start of her career, it was clear that the character had a chance at greatness, and her legend continues to grow with every adventure.  
[RENEWED STRENGTH](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/classes/core-classes/cleric/domains/3rd-party-publishers---domains/4-winds-fantasy-gaming---domains/renewal-domain) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (5 USES/DAY) – The character can cure her allies of exhaustion, fatigue, sickness and nausea with a touch.  
[LONGSTRIDER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/longstrider.html#_longstrider) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY](3 USES/DAY) - This power gives the character a +10 foot enhancement bonus to her base speed.  
[LOCATE OBJECT ](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/locateObject.html#_locate-object) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (2 USES/DAY) - The character senses the direction towards an object (specific or type).  
[FLY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/fly.html#fog-cloud) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – The character can fly.  
[RENEWED LIFE](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/classes/core-classes/cleric/domains/3rd-party-publishers---domains/4-winds-fantasy-gaming---domains/renewal-domain) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – If the character falls below 0 hit points she regains a number of hit points. This power does not activate if she dies outright.

CLASS FEATURES  
WEAPON AND ARMOUR PROFICIENCY: CLERIC  
Clerics are proficient with all simple weapons, light armour, medium armour, and shields (except tower shields). Clerics are also proficient with the favoured weapon of their deities (THE SYLPH OF SPACE favours the SAWTOOTH SABRE).

[CHANNEL ENERGY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/cleric.html#_channel-energy-cleric) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (5 USES/DAY, DC15, 4D6)  
The cleric can channel positive energy through her holy symbol, choosing to either deal damage to undead creatures or to heal living creatures in a burst of holy power.

SPONTANEOUS CASTING  
The cleric can channel stored spell energy into healing spells that she hasn't prepared ahead of time. She can "lose" any prepared spell that is not an orison or domain spell in order to cast any cure spell of the same spell level or lower.

DOMAINS: [CHARM](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/cleric.html#_charm-domain) ([LOVE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/cleric.html#_love-subdomain)) AND [DEATH](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/cleric.html#_death-domain) ([UNDEAD](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/cleric.html#_undead-subdomain))  
DOMAIN POWERS: ADORATION [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (5 USES/DAY) – The cleric can attempt to thwart a single physical attack against her person.  
CHARMING SMILE [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (8 ROUNDS/DAY) - At 8th level, the cleric can cast charm person as a swift action. She can only have one creature charmed in this way at a time.  
DOMAIN POWERS: [DEATH'S KISS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/cleric.html#_death%27s-kiss) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (5 USES/DAY) – The cleric can cause a creature to take on some of the traits of the undead with a touch.  
DEATH'S EMBRACE [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY] - At 8th level, the cleric heals damage instead of taking damage from channeled negative energy. If the channeled negative energy targets undead, she heals hit points just like undead in the area.

SPELLS  
[CLERIC LEVEL 0](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/spell-lists-and-domains/spell-lists---cleric#p0) [4 Prepared, At Will] Save DC 12  
+MENDING – Makes minor repairs on an object.  
+PURIFY FOOD AND DRINK – Purifies 1 cubic ft/level of food or water.  
+SPARK – Ignites flammable objects.  
+STABILIZE – Cause a dying creature to stabilize.

[CLERIC LEVEL 1](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/spell-lists-and-domains/spell-lists---cleric#p1) [5/Day+1 Prepared] Save DC 13  
DOMAIN SPELLS:  
+CHARM PERSON – Makes one person your friend.  
+CAUSE FEAR – One creature of 5HD or less flees for 1d4 rounds.  
  
+++BLESS – Allies gain +1 on attack rolls and saves against fear.  
+TOUCH OF BLOODLETTING - This spell causes existing wounds on a target to bleed profusely.

[CLERIC LEVEL 2](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/spell-lists-and-domains/spell-lists---cleric#p2) [4/Day+1 Prepared] Save DC 14  
DOMAIN SPELLS:  
ENTHRALL - Captivates all within 100 ft. + 10 ft./level.  
++[GHOUL TOUCH](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/ghoulTouch.html#_ghoul-touch) \- Paralyzes one subject, which exudes stench that makes those nearby sickened.  
  
++[BLOOD OF THE MARTYR](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/all-spells/b/blood-of-the-martyr) \- Target bleeds from orifices, enabling other creatures to sup the blood to regain hit points. 1D6/4 levels (max 4d6) damage/healing.  
+CURE MODERATE WOUNDS - Cures 2d8 damage + 1/level (max +10).

[CLERIC LEVEL 3](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/spell-lists-and-domains/spell-lists---cleric#p3) [3/Day+1 Prepared] Save DC 15  
DOMAIN SPELLS:  
[SUGGESTION](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/suggestion.html#_suggestion) \- Compels a subject to follow stated course of action.  
+[++ANIMATE DEAD](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/animateDead.html#_animate-dead) \- Turns corpses into undead skeletons or zombies that obey spoken commands.  
  
+SEARING LIGHT - Ray deals 1d8/two levels damage (more against undead).  
+BLOOD BIOGRAPHY - Learn about a creature with its blood.

[CLERIC LEVEL 4](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/spell-lists-and-domains/spell-lists---cleric#p4) [2/Day+1 Prepared] Save DC 16  
DOMAIN SPELLS:  
[+HEROISM](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/heroism.html#heroism) \- This spell imbues a single creature with great bravery and morale in battle.  
+[+ENERVATION](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/enervation.html#enervation) \- You point your finger and fire a black ray of negative energy that suppresses the life force of any living creature it strikes.  
  
+CURE CRITICAL WOUNDS - Cures 4d8 damage + 1/level (max +20).

* * *

JANE CROCKER [RANGER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/ranger.html#_ranger) ([URBAN RANGER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/ranger.html#_urban-ranger)) 8  
LAWFUL GOOD

TL:DR - Jane can lend her ability to resist harm to others, and is now adept at navigating Temple Districts as well as Adventurers' areas of cities.

[ ](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/md6fpl4wbg6saxy/Jane%20Crocker.png?dl=0)

BASIC STATISTICS  
GENDER: Female  
HAIR/EYES: Black hair, blue eyes  
HOMELAND: City of Porthaven (Outer Ring)  
DEITY: The Maid of Life  
LANGUAGES: Common, High Elven, Celestial, Orc  
RACE: Tuatha (High Elf)

ATTRIBUTES  
STRENGTH: 16[+3]  
DEXTERITY: 15[+2]  
CONSTITUTION: 12[+1]  
INTELLIGENCE: 10[+0]  
WISDOM: 13[+1]  
CHARISMA: 10[+0]

HIT POINTS: 61/61  
HERO POINTS: 2/5  
INITIATIVE: +2  
BASE SPEED/S: 30ft (land)

ARMOUR CLASS [AC]: 21  
TOUCH AC: 12  
FLAT-FOOTED AC: 19

BASE ATTACK BONUS [BAB]: +8/+3  
BASIC MELEE ATTACK: +11/+6  
BASIC RANGED ATTACK: +10/+5  
COMBAT MANEUVER BONUS [CMB]: +11/+6(+13 for Bull Rush)  
COMBAT MANEUVER DEFENCE [CMD]: 23(25 for Bull Rush)

SAVES  
FORTITUDE: +7  
REFLEX: +8  
WILL: +3

[WEAPONS/ATTACKS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_weapon-descriptions)  
[+1 ](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_trident)[UNDEAD BANE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/magicItems/weapons.html#_weapons-bane) TRIDENT - This is a [brace](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/equipment.html#_brace) weapon. Can be thrown, range 10ft. A bane weapon excels against the specified foes.  
[SHIELD BASH, LIGHT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/equipment.html#_shield-bash-attacks) \- Treat as “light" for the purposes of two-weapon fighting, and lose shield bonus to AC when used as a weapon.  
[DAGGER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_dagger) \- Can be thrown, range 10ft.

EQUIPMENT - [CARRYING CAPACITY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/additionalRules.html#_carrying-capacity) (STR 17)

EQUIPMENT - ITEM SLOTS  
CLOTHING: ARTISAN'S OUTFIT  
This outfit consists of a blouse with buttons, drawstring skirt, shoes, and a neat cloth cap. It also includes a cloth apron for carrying small items such as a money pouch.

ARMOUR: +2 STUDDED LEATHER  
+5 armour bonus, +5 max DEX bonus, 0 Armour Check Penalty, 15% Arcane Spell Failure Chance, LIGHT

SHIELD: LIGHT STEEL SHIELD OF BASHING +1  
+3 shield bonus, -0 Armour Check Penalty, 5% Arcane Spell Failure Chance  
SPECIAL: The character can bash an opponent with a light shield. Used this way, a light shield of bashing is a martial bludgeoning weapon of two size categories larger, and acts as a +1 weapon when used to bash. For the purpose of penalties on attack rolls, treat a shield as a light weapon. If she uses her shield as a weapon, she loses its AC bonus until her next turn.

EQUIPMENT - POSSESSIONS  
Trident 4lbs, +2 Studded Leather 20lbs, Light Steel Shield of Bashing +1 6lbs, Dagger 1lb, Waterskin 4lbs

>BACKPACK, MASTERWORK 4lbs (Capacity 60lbs, +1 STR to carry loads)  
Bedroll 5lbs, Kit (Cooking) 2lbs, Rations (Trail) [x6] 6lb, Parade Armour 20lbs, Elixir of Truth [x1], Elixir of Vision [x1], Shield (Light Steel) 6lbs

>POUCH, BELT 0.5lbs (Capacity 10lbs)  
Flint and Steel, Manacles 2lbs, Map [+1 circumstance bonus on Survival checks made to navigate in the Greenweald Forest region] 2lbs

TOTAL 62.5lbs (19.5lbs without backpack)

EQUIPMENT - MONEY  
0CP, 2SP, 73GP, 0PP  
OTHER:

SKILLS  
TRAINED  
ACROBATICS +7(4)*, +CRAFT(COOKING) +10(7), DISGUISE +5(5), +KNOWLEDGE LOCAL +10(7), +PERCEPTION +12(8), SENSE MOTIVE +12(8), +STEALTH +11(6)*, +SURVIVAL +10(6)

UNTRAINED  
+APPRAISE +0, BLUFF +0, +CLIMB +3*, CRAFT +0, +DIPLOMACY +0, ESCAPE ARTIST +2*, +HEAL +1, +INTIMIDATE +0, PERFORM +0, +RIDE +2*, +SWIM +3*  
(FLY +2*)

*Armour Check Penalty: Skill at –0 due to armour worn.  
+Class Skill

FEATS  
[ COSMOPOLITAN](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/advancedFeats.html#_cosmopolitan) (APPRAISE AND DIPLOMACY)  
Living in large, exotic cities has put the character in touch with many diverse civilizations, cultures, and races.

[TWO-WEAPON FIGHTING [REQUIRES: DEX 15]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_two-weapon-fighting)  
The character can fight with a weapon wielded in each of her hands. She can make one extra attack each round with the secondary weapon.

[POWER ATTACK [REQUIRES: STR 13, BAB+1]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_power-attack)  
The character can make exceptionally deadly melee attacks by sacrificing accuracy for strength.

[IMPROVED BULL RUSH [REQUIRES: STR 13, BAB+1, POWER ATTACK]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#improved-bull-rush)  
The character is skilled at pushing her foes around.

[RACIAL ABILITIES: ELVEN](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advancedRaceGuide/coreRaces/elves.html#_elf-racial-traits)  
LANGUAGES - Tuatha begin play speaking Common and High Elven. Tuatha with high Intelligence scores can choose from the following: Celestial, Draconic, Gnoll, Gnome, Goblin, Orc, and Sylvan.

SPECIAL ABILITIES  
GODMARKED  
[HERO’S FORTUNE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/advancedNewRules.html#_hero's-fortune) \- Even at the start of her career, it was clear that the character had a chance at greatness, and her legend continues to grow with every adventure.  
[BINDING TIES](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/cleric.html#_binding-ties) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (3 USES/DAY) – The character can temporarily take the suffering as an ally onto herself, rendering them temporarily immune to the condition for a short time dependent on her character level.  
[CURE LIGHT WOUNDS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/cureLightWounds.html#_cure-light-wounds) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (3 USES/DAY) - When laying her hand upon a living creature, the character channels positive energy that cures 1d8 points of damage + 1 point per caster level (maximum +5).  
[CURE MODERATE WOUNDS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/cureModerateWounds.html#_cure-moderate-wounds) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (2 USES/DAY) - When laying her hand upon a living creature, the character channels positive energy that cures 2d8 points of damage + 1 point per caster level (maximum +10).  
[CURE SERIOUS WOUNDS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/cureSeriousWounds.html#cure-serious-wounds) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY](1 USE/DAY) - When laying her hand upon a living creature, the character channels positive energy that cures 3d8 points of damage + 1 point per character level (maximum +15).  
[UNITY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/cleric.html#community-domain) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Whenever a spell or effect targets the character and one or more allies within 30 feet, she can use this ability to allow her allies to use her saving throw against the effect in place of their own.

CLASS FEATURES  
WEAPON AND ARMOUR PROFICIENCY: RANGER  
A ranger is proficient with all simple and martial weapons and with light armour, medium armour and shields (except tower shields).

[FAVOURED ENEMY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/ranger.html#_favored-enemy) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY] - HUMANOID (ELF) [+2], UNDEAD [+4]  
A ranger is better at attacking and damaging their favoured enemies. They spot them, track them, lie to them and understand them better, and know more about them than other similar creatures.

TRACK [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
A ranger is better at following or identifying tracks.

WILD EMPATHY [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
A ranger can communicate wordlessly with an animal, in the hope of making it more friendly towards the ranger and her allies.

COMBAT STYLE FEAT: [SHIELD FOCUS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_shield-focus) [REQUIRES: SHIELD PROFICIENCY, BAB +1]  
Increase the defensive bonus granted by any shield you are using.

[FAVOURED COMMUNITY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/ranger.html#_favored-community) (ADVENTURER'S QUARTER +4, TEMPLE DISTRICT +2)  
At 3rd level, the urban ranger forms a bond with a community. While inside the limits of this community, she gains numerous bonuses to knowledge, tracking and survival, as well as being untrackable herself. At 8th level, and every five levels thereafter, an urban ranger may select an additional favored community.

[FEAT: ENDURANCE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_endurance)  
The character is more readily able to handle prolonged physical activity and deprivation, and may sleep in light or medium armour without becoming fatigued.

[HUNTER’S BOND – COMPANION BOND [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/ranger.html#_hunter-s-bond)  
At 4th level, a ranger forms a bond with her hunting companions, allowing her to extend a limited version of her favoured enemy bonuses to them.

COMBAT STYLE FEAT: [IMPROVED SHIELD BASH](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_improved-shield-bash) [REQUIRES: SHIELD PROFICIENCY]  
The ranger can protect herself with her shield, even if she uses it to attack.

[PUSH THROUGH](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/ranger.html#push-through) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
At 7th level, an urban ranger is never slowed by difficult terrain in her favored communities. In addition, she can move through the space occupied by local citizens as if they were allies.

[SWIFT TRACKER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/ranger.html#swift-tracker) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
At 8th level, a ranger can move at her normal speed while using Survival to follow tracks, or move twice as fast at a lesser penality.

SPELLS  
[RANGER LEVEL 1](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/spell-lists-and-domains/spell-lists---ranger#p1) [2/Day Prepared] Save DC 12  
+HUNTER’S HOWL – Treat enemies as favoured for 1 round/level.  
+LEAD BLADES - Melee weapons damage as if one size bigger.

[RANGER LEVEL 2](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/spell-lists-and-domains/spell-lists---ranger#p2) [1/Day Prepared] Save DC 13  
+PROTECTIVE SPIRIT - Protects from attacks of opportunity.

* * *

JAKE ENGLISH [GUNSLINGER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/classes/gunslinger.html) ([PISTOLERO](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/classArchetypes/gunslinger.html#_pistolero-\(archetype\))) 8  
CHAOTIC GOOD

TL:DR - Jake has more grit and his godmark lets him bring a chance for parley to a scrum.

[ ](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/hzjmr0vpbpao9ks/Jake%20English.png?dl=0)

BASIC STATISTICS  
GENDER: Male  
HAIR/EYES: Black hair, green eyes  
HOMELAND: Quartzkin Clanhold  
DEITY: The Page of Hope  
LANGUAGES: Common, High Elven, Dwarven  
RACE: Tuatha (High Elf)

ATTRIBUTES  
STRENGTH: 13[+1]  
DEXTERITY: 18[+4]  
CONSTITUTION: 10[+0]  
INTELLIGENCE: 10[+0]  
WISDOM: 15[+2]  
CHARISMA: 10[+0]

HIT POINTS: 52/52  
HERO POINTS: 5/5  
INITIATIVE: +4(+6 if holding Grit)  
BASE SPEED/S: 30ft (land)

ARMOUR CLASS [AC]: 22  
TOUCH AC: 16  
FLAT-FOOTED AC: 16

BASE ATTACK BONUS [BAB]: +8/+3  
BASIC MELEE ATTACK: +9/+4  
BASIC RANGED ATTACK: +11/+6  
COMBAT MANEUVER BONUS [CMB]: +9/+4  
COMBAT MANEUVER DEFENCE [CMD]: 22

SAVES  
FORTITUDE: +6  
REFLEX: +10  
WILL: +4

[WEAPONS/ATTACKS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_firearms-table)  
[HEAVY PICK](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_heavy-pick)  
[MASTERWORK GUNSLINGER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/classes/gunslinger.html#_gunsmith) [PISTOL](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/combat/firearms.html#_pistol) \- Ammunition 22 bullets, 22 black powder charges (both required to fire).  
[MASTERWORK PISTOL](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/combat/firearms.html#_pistol) \- As above, shared ammunition.

EQUIPMENT - [CARRYING CAPACITY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/additionalRules.html#_carrying-capacity) (STR 14)

EQUIPMENT - ITEM SLOTS  
CLOTHING: ROYAL OUTFIT  
Royal clothes are ostentatious, with gems, gold, silk, and fur in abundance. A royal outfit is rarely designed for regular wear or inclement weather—or even for donning unaided—as it's presumed that anyone who might be wearing it has plenty of servants to take care of his or her every need. This outfit includes only the clothing, not a royal scepter, crown, ring, or other regal accoutrements. 

CLOTHING: ADVENTURER'S SASH  
This bandoleer holds six pouches along its length and a satchel at the hip. Each pouch has a stiff leather flap that can be secured against jostling with a clasp (requiring a move action to open or close) or left unfastened for easier access. The pouches and satchel each contain a number of loops and ties for further securing equipment. The sash buckles at the shoulder, and can be freed with a sharp tug in an emergency as a move action.

ARMOUR: +2 MITHRAL CHAIN SHIRT  
+6 armour bonus, +6 max DEX bonus, -0 Armour Check Penalty, 10% Arcane Spell Failure Chance, LIGHT  
SPECIAL: An item made from mithral weighs half as much as the same item made from other metals.

CHEST: [ALL TOOLS VEST](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/magicItems/wondrousItems.html#_all-tools-vest)  
This well-made leather vest bears numerous shiny metal buttons, which stud a number of bulging pockets. Once per day, as a standard action, the wearer can speak the vest’s command word and order it to bring forth all the standard tools required to make checks for any one Craft skill. These tools appear in the countless pockets of the vest or, if too heavy, on the floor, on a nearby shelf, on a workbench, or in a toolbox or cupboard that appears nearby. Once summoned, they remain for 24 hours or until another creature touches them, whichever comes first.

BELT: [BENEFICIAL BANDOLIER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/wondrousItems/belts.html#_beneficial-bandolier) (22/200)  
This bandolier is made of finely tanned leather. It has slots for up to 200 rounds of ammunition. Pellets and black powder are kept in tiny individual pouches, and bullets in small loops. As a swift action, the wearer can command a single round of ammunition from the beneficial bandolier to teleport into a firearm of the appropriate type that he is wielding.

RING 1: [RING OF GRIT MASTERY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/ringsRodsStaves/rings.html#_ring-of-grit-mastery) (0/2)  
This ring is made out of fused firearm bullets, making it a chunky but overall impressive ring. Twice per day, as a free action, when the wearer regains grit, he can choose to store it in the ring of grit mastery instead of regaining the grit point. Any grit points stored in the ring disappear at the start of each day.

EQUIPMENT - POSSESSIONS  
Adventurer's Sash 3lbs, Heavy Pick 6lbs, Masterwork Gunslinger Pistol 4lbs, Masterwork Pistol 4lbs, +2 Mithral Chain Shirt 12.5lbs, All Tools Vest 5lbs, Beneficial Bandolier 2lbs, Ring of Grit Mastery, Dagger 1lb, Waterskin 4lbs

>[HANDY HAVERSACK](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/magicItems/wondrousItems.html#_handy-haversack) 5lbs (Extradimensional Space, Capacity 80lbs+20lbs+20lbs)  
Bedroll 5lbs, Blanket (Common) [x2] 2lb, Kit (Grooming) 2lbs, Kit (Cooking) 2lbs, Kit (Mess) 1lb, Kit (Dungeoneering Deluxe) 15lbs, Kit (Gunsmith’s) 2lbs, Kit (Gear Maintenance) 2lbs, Potion of Cure Light Wounds [x4], Moonrod [x17], Dragon Punch Whiskey [x1]  
Tent (Small, 1 person) 20lbs  
Rations (Trail) [x20] 20lb

>LEATHER SATCHEL 1lbs (Capacity 35lbs)  
Healer's Kit [10 uses, +2] 1lb, Wound Paste [x3] 0.5lbs

>POUCH, BELT 0.5lbs (Capacity 10lbs)  
Flint and Steel, Compass 0.5lbs, Oil of Silence [x1], Potion of Cure Moderate Wounds [x5]

>POWDER HORN 1lb (Capacity 10 x Black Powder)  
Black Powder [x2] [crafted at 10% cost]

>POWDER HORN 1lb (Capacity 10 x Black Powder)  
Black Powder [x10] [crafted at 10% cost]

>POWDER HORN 1lb (Capacity 10 x Black Powder)  
Black Powder [x10] [crafted at 10% cost]

TOTAL 40.5lbs (20.5lbs+20lbs+20lbs in EDS)

EQUIPMENT - MONEY  
0CP, 0SP, 495GP, 0PP  
OTHER:

SKILLS  
TRAINED  
+ACROBATICS +11(5)*, +CLIMB +7(3)*, +CRAFT(ALCHEMY) +10(7),*DISABLE DEVICE +4(4), KNOWLEDGE DUNGEONEERING +8(8), LINGUISTICS +1(1), +SURVIVAL +7(2), +SWIM +5(1)*, USE MAGIC DEVICE +5(5)

UNTRAINED  
APPRAISE +0, +BLUFF +0, CRAFT +0, DIPLOMACY +0, DISGUISE +0, ESCAPE ARTIST +3*, +HEAL +2, +INTIMIDATE +0, +PERCEPTION +2, PERFORM +0, +RIDE +3*, SENSE MOTIVE +2, STEALTH +3*  
(FLY +3*)

*Armour Check Penalty: Skill at –0 due to armour worn.  
+Class Skill

FEATS  
[ RAPID RELOAD (PISTOL) [REQUIRES: WEAPON PROFICIENCY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/ultimateCombatFeats.html#_rapid-reload)  
The character can reload pistols quickly.

[BLIND-FIGHT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_blind-fight)  
The character is skilled at attacking opponents that he cannot clearly perceive.

[TWO-WEAPON FIGHTING [REQUIRES: DEX 15]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_two-weapon-fighting)  
The character can fight with a weapon wielded in each of her hands. She can make one extra attack each round with the secondary weapon.

[POINT-BLANK SHOT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#point-blank-shot)  
The character is especially accurate when making ranged attacks against close targets.

[RACIAL ABILITIES: ELVEN](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advancedRaceGuide/coreRaces/elves.html#_elf-racial-traits)  
LANGUAGES - Tuatha begin play speaking Common and High Elven. Tuatha with high Intelligence scores can choose from the following: Celestial, Draconic, Gnoll, Gnome, Goblin, Orc, and Sylvan.

SPECIAL ABILITIES  
GODMARKED  
[HERO’S FORTUNE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/advancedNewRules.html#_hero's-fortune) \- Even at the start of his career, it was clear that the character had a chance at greatness, and his legend continues to grow with every adventure.  
[HONOR BOUND](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/cleric.html#_honor-bound) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (3 USES/DAY) – The character can, with a touch, remind a creature of its duties and responsibilities and help them shake off an enchantment or compulsion. He can also attempt to shake off effects of this nature that have affected him.  
[REMOVE FEAR](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/removeFear.html#_remove-fear) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY](3 USES/DAY) – The character instils courage in the subject, granting them a bonus against fear effects for 10 minutes.  
[REMOVE PARALYSIS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/removeParalysis.html#_remove-paralysis) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY](2 USES/DAY) – The character frees creatures from paralysis or slow effects.  
[REMOVE CURSE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/removeCurse.html#remove-curse) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY](1 USE/DAY) – Counters and dispels bestow curse, and can remove all curses on an object or a creature.  
[DIVINE PRESENCE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/cleric.html#glory-domain) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (8 ROUNDS/DAY) – The character can emit a 30-foot aura of divine presence. All allies within this area are treated as if under the effects of a sanctuary spell, unless they leave the area of make an attack.

CLASS FEATURES  
WEAPON AND ARMOUR PROFICIENCY: GUNSLINGER (PISTOLERO)  
Pistoleros are proficient with all simple and martial weapons, and with one-handed firearms. They are proficient with all light armour.

[GUNSMITH](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/classes/gunslinger.html#_gunsmith) (PISTOLERO)  
A gunslinger has a battered pistol, which only he knows how to properly use. To anyone else, the gun seems to be broken.

[FEAT: QUICK DRAW [REQUIRES: BAB +1]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_quick-draw)  
The gunslinger can draw weapons faster than most.

FEAT: [GUNSMITHING](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/ultimateCombatFeats.html#_gunsmithing)  
The character knows the secrets of repairing and restoring firearms.

[GRIT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/classes/gunslinger.html#_grit) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY] (4/4)  
Gunslingers make their mark upon the world with their grit, which they use to accomplish daring deeds (see below).

[DEEDS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/classes/gunslinger.html#_deeds)  
1\. [UP CLOSE AND DEADLY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/classArchetypes/gunslinger.html#_up-close-and-deadly) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
2\. [GUNSLINGER'S DODGE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/classes/gunslinger.html#_gunslinger%27s-dodge) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
3\. [QUICK CLEAR](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/classes/gunslinger.html#_quick-clear) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
4\. [DEAD SHOT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/classes/gunslinger.html#dead-shot) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
5\. [DEAD](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/classes/gunslinger.html#deadeye)[EYE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/classArchetypes/gunslinger.html#deadeye) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
6\. [TARGETING](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/classes/gunslinger.html#targeting) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]

[GUNSLINGER INITIATIVE [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/classes/gunslinger.html#_gunslinger-initiative) \- At 3rd level, as long as the gunslinger has at least 1 grit point, he is markedly faster to react to threats.  
  
[PISTOL-WHIP [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/classes/gunslinger.html#_pistol-whip) \- At 3rd level, the gunslinger can make a surprise melee attack with the butt or handle of his firearm for a cost of 1 grit point.  
  
[UTILITY SHOT [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/classes/gunslinger.html#_utility-shot) \- At 3rd level, as long as the gunslinger has at least 1 grit point, he can perform utility shots (Blast Lock- breaks locks open, Scoot Unattended Object- moves a tiny object up to 15 feet, and Stop Bleeding- uses the hot barrel of the gun to cauterize wounds).

[NIMBLE [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY] (+2)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/classes/gunslinger.html#_nimble)  
Starting at 2nd level, the gunslinger gains a dodge bonus to AC while wearing light or no armour.

[PISTOL TRAINING 1 [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/classArchetypes/gunslinger.html#_pistol-training)  
Starting at 5th level, the pistolero increases his skill with one-handed firearms, doing more damage in line with his Dexterity and becoming progressively less likely to misfire.

[FEAT: EXTRA GRIT [REQUIRES: GRIT CLASS FEATURE OR THE AMATEUR GUNSLINGER FEAT]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/ultimateCombatFeats.html#extra-grit)  
The gunslinger has more grit than the ordinary gunslinger. He gains 2 extra grit points at the start of each day, and his maximum grit increases by 2.

* * *

ROXY LALONDE [WIZARD](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/wizard.html#_wizard) 3 / [ROGUE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/rogue.html#_rogue) 3 / [ARCANE TRICKSTER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/prestigeClasses/arcaneTrickster.html#arcane-trickster) 2  
CHAOTIC GOOD

TL:DR – Roxy's godmark lets her work powerful illusions, and she develops both her spells (gaining 3rd level spellcasting) and her sneak attack.

[](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/5i92rjtgq134lqh/Roxy%20Lalonde.png?dl=0)

BASIC STATISTICS  
GENDER: Female  
HAIR/EYES: Blonde hair, pink eyes  
HOMELAND: City of Porthaven (Temple District)  
DEITY: The Rogue of Void  
LANGUAGES: Common, Celestial, High Elven, Draconic  
RACE: Aasimar

ATTRIBUTES  
STRENGTH: 10[+0]  
DEXTERITY: 13[+1]  
CONSTITUTION: 14[+2]  
INTELLIGENCE: 17[+3]  
WISDOM: 10[+0]  
CHARISMA: 14[+2]

HIT POINTS: 54/54  
HERO POINTS: 2/3  
INITIATIVE: +5  
BASE SPEED/S: 30ft (land)

ARMOUR CLASS [AC]: 11(15)  
TOUCH AC: 11  
FLAT-FOOTED AC: 10(14)  
+1 dodge bonus to AC against attacks made by traps.

BASE ATTACK BONUS [BAB]: +4  
BASIC MELEE ATTACK: +4  
BASIC RANGED ATTACK: +5  
COMBAT MANEUVER BONUS [CMB]: +4  
COMBAT MANEUVER DEFENCE [CMD]: 15

SAVES  
FORTITUDE: +5  
REFLEX: +6  
WILL: +5  
+1 bonus to Reflex saves made to avoid traps.

[WEAPONS/ATTACKS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_weapon-descriptions)  
[UNARMED](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_improved-unarmed-strike) [STRIKE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/combat.html#_unarmed-strike-damage)  
[CROSSBOW, LIGHT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_light-crossbow) – 20 ammunition  
[DAGGER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_dagger) \- Can be thrown, range 10ft.

EQUIPMENT - [CARRYING CAPACITY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/additionalRules.html#_carrying-capacity) (STR 10)

EQUIPMENT - ITEM SLOTS  
CLOTHING: ENTERTAINER'S OUTFIT  
This set of flashy- perhaps even gaudy- clothes is for entertaining. While the outfit looks whimsical, its practical design lets the character tumble, dance, walk a tightrope, or just run if the audience turns ugly.

EQUIPMENT - POSSESSIONS  
Crossbow (Light) 4lbs, Bolts (Crossbow) [x20] 2lb, Signet Ring, Dagger 1lb, Waterskin 4lbs, Hip Flask 2lbs

>POUCH, SPELL COMPONENTS 2lbs

>POUCH, BELT 0.5lbs (Capacity 10lbs)  
Ink (Black) [1oz. Vial], Inkpen, Pearl of Power (1st level), Dragon Whistle

TOTAL 15.5lbs

EQUIPMENT - MONEY  
0CP, 0SP, 0GP, 0PP  
OTHER:

SKILLS  
TRAINED  
+BLUFF +12(7), +DIPLOMACY +12(7), +DISABLE DEVICE* +12(8), +ESCAPE ARTIST +12(8)*, +KNOWLEDGE ARCANA +14(8), +SLEIGHT OF HAND +5(1)*, +SPELLCRAFT +13(7), +STEALTH +15(8)*, +USE MAGIC DEVICE +13(8)

UNTRAINED  
+ACROBATICS +1*, +APPRAISE +3, +CLIMB +0*, +CRAFT +3, +DISGUISE +2, HEAL +0, +INTIMIDATE +2, +PERCEPTION +2(4), +PERFORM +2, RIDE +1*, +SENSE MOTIVE +2(4), SURVIVAL +2, +SWIM +0*  
(+FLY +1*)

*Armour Check Penalty: Skill at –0 due to armour worn.  
+Class Skill

FEATS  
[ARCANE STRIKE [REQUIRES: ARCANE SPELLCASTING]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_arcane-strike)  
The character draws upon her arcane power to enhance her weapons with magical energy.

[IMPROVED INITIATIVE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_improved-initiative)  
The character's quick reflexes allow her to react rapidly to danger.

[ECLECTIC (ROGUE) [REQUIRES: HUMAN]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/advancedFeats.html#_eclectic)  
The character has a talent for picking up different vocations. NOTE: As there are no humans in the setting, the human requirement is accepted to apply to Aasimar as the closest equivalent.

[SPELL FOCUS (ILLUSION)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#spell-focus)  
Any spells you cast of the chosen magic school are more difficult to resist.

[RACIAL ABILITIES: AASIMAR](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advancedRaceGuide/featuredRaces/aasimars.html#_aasimar-racial-traits)  
AASIMARS DO NOT COUNT AS OUTSIDERS FOR THE PURPOSE OF THIS SETTING.  
[DAYLIGHT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/daylight.html#_daylight) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Aasimars can touch an object and cause it to shed a brilliant light which drives back even magical darkness.  
LANGUAGES – Aasimars begin play speaking Common and Celestial. Aasimars with high Intelligence scores can choose any of the following bonus languages: Draconic, Dwarven, High Elven, Gnome, Halfling, and Sylvan.

SPECIAL ABILITIES  
GODMARKED  
[IMPROVED UNARMED STRIKE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_improved-unarmed-strike) \- The character is skilled at fighting while unarmed.  
[COPYCAT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/cleric.html#_trickery-domain) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (5 USES/DAY) – The character can briefly, dependent on her character level, create an illusory double of herself to distract or mislead others.  
EXTRA – Bluff, Disguise and Stealth are class skills.  
[ENTROPIC SHIELD](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/entropicShield.html#_entropic-shield) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY](3 USES/DAY) - A magical field appears around the character, glowing with a chaotic blast of multicolored hues and deflecting some incoming ranged attacks.  
[BLINDNESS/DEAFNESS (BLINDNESS ONLY)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/blindnessDeafness.html#_blindness-deafness) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY](2 USES/DAY) - This power renders the subject blind.  
[NONDETECTION](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/nondetection.html#nondetection) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY](1 USE/DAY) – Protects against location by divination spells and magic items.  
[MASTER'S ILLUSION](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/cleric.html#trickery-domain) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (8 ROUNDS/DAY) – The character can create an illusion that hides the appearance of herself and any number of allies within 30ft.

CLASS FEATURES  
WEAPON AND ARMOUR PROFICIENCY: WIZARD  
Wizards are proficient with the club, dagger, heavy crossbow, light crossbow, and quarterstaff, but not with any type of armour or shield. Armour interferes with a wizard's movements, which can cause her spells with somatic components to fail.

WEAPON AND ARMOUR PROFICIENCY: ROGUE  
Rogues are proficient with all simple weapons, plus the hand crossbow, rapier, sap, shortbow, and short sword. They are proficient with light armour, but not with shields.

[ARCANE BOND](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/wizard.html#_arcane-bond) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]: [FAMILIAR](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/wizard.html#_familiars) (FRIGGLISH, [CAT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/monsters/familiar.html#_cat))  
Grants his master a +3 bonus on Stealth checks.  
If a familiar is dismissed, lost, or dies, it can be replaced 1 week later though a specialised ritual that costs 200gp per wizard level. The ritual takes 8 hours to complete.  
HIT POINTS: 20 HIT DICE: 6  
SIZE: Tiny REACH: 0ft SPEED: 30ft  
STR 3[-4], DEX 15[+2], CON 8[-1], INT 7[-2], WIS 12[+1], CHA 7[-2]  
ATTACK:  
BAB: +3 ATTACK: BITE +5 (1d3-4), CLAWS[x2] +5 (1d2-4)  
CMB: +3  
DEFENCE:  
AC: 16 (Natural Armour +2)  
CMD: 11 (15 vs. trip)  
SAVES: FORT 1, REF 6, WILL 5  
SKILLS:  
Climb 6, Perception 5, Stealth 14 (use master's skill ranks if better)  
FEATS:  
[Weapon Finesse](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_weapon-finesse)  
SPECIAL ABILITIES:  
[Low-Light Vision](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/glossary.html#_low-light-vision), [Scent](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/glossary.html#_scent), [Empathic Link](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/wizard.html#_familiar-empathic-link), [Improved Evasion](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/wizard.html#_familiar-improved-evasion), [Share Spells](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/wizard.html#_familiar-share-spells), [Deliver Touch Spells](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/wizard.html#_familiar-deliver-touch-spells)

ARCANE SCHOOL: [ILLUSION](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/wizard.html#_illusion-school)  
OPPOSITION SCHOOLS: [NECROMANCY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/wizard.html#_necromancy-school), [DIVINATION](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/wizard.html#_divination-school)  
A wizard that chooses to specialise in one school of magic must select two opposition schools whose spells are harder for them to cast, but they gain the ability to cast an additional spell from their school each day and related school powers.  
1\. EXTENDED ILLUSIONS [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY]  
2\. BLINDING RAY [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (5 USES/DAY)

FEAT: [SCRIBE SCROLL](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_scribe-scroll)  
The character can create magic scrolls.

FEAT: [ALERTNESS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_alertness) [REQUIRES: FAMILIAR WITHIN ARM'S REACH]  
The character often notices things that others might miss when her familiar is nearby.

[SNEAK ATTACK [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY] (+3d6 Precision Damage)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/rogue.html#_sneak-attack)  
A rogue can strike a vital spot for more damage whenever their foe is in a vulnerable position.

[TRAPFINDING](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/rogue.html#_trapfinding) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
The rogue adds 1/2 her level to Perception skill checks made to locate traps and to Disable Device skill checks (minimum +1). A rogue can use Disable Device to disarm magic traps.

[TRAP SENSE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/rogue.html#_trap-sense-rogue) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY] (+1)  
At 3rd level, a rogue gains an intuitive sense that alerts her to danger from traps.

ROGUE TALENTS  
[OFFENSIVE DEFENCE](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/classes/core-classes/rogue/rogue-talents/paizo---rogue-talents/offensive-defense-ex) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
When a rogue with this talent hits a creature with a melee sneak attack that deals sneak attack damage, the rogue gains greater defence against that foe.

[RANGED LEGERDEMAIN](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/prestigeClasses/arcaneTrickster.html#ranged-legerdemain) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY]  
The arcane trickster can use Disable Device and Sleight of Hand at a range of 30 feet.

SPELLS  
LEVEL 0 [4 Prepared, At Will] Save DC 12  
+(ILLU) GHOST SOUND – Figment sounds.  
+(TRANS) JOLT – Deal 1d3 Electrical damage with a ranged touch attack.  
+(TRANS) MESSAGE – Whisper conversation at distance.  
+(UNIV) PRESTIDIGITATION – Performs minor tricks.

WIZARD CANTRIPS KNOWN: [RESISTANCE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/resistance.html#_resistance), [ACID SPLASH](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/acidSplash.html#_acid-splash), [DRENCH](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/rare-cantrips), [DAZE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/daze.html#_daze), [BREEZE](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/rare-cantrips), [DANCING LIGHTS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/dancingLights.html#_dancing-lights), [FLARE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/flare.html#_flare), [LIGHT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/light.html#_light), [PENUMBRA](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/rare-cantrips), [RAY OF FROST](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/rayOfFrost.html#_ray-of-frost), [SCOOP](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/rare-cantrips), [SPARK](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/spells/spark.html#_spark-), [GHOST SOUND](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/ghostSound.html#_ghost-sound), [HAUNTED FEY ASPECT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/spells/hauntedFeyAspect.html#_haunted-fey-aspect), [JOLT](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/rare-cantrips), [MAGE HAND](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/mageHand.html#_mage-hand), [MENDING](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/mending.html#_mending), [MESSAGE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/message.html#_message), [OPEN/CLOSE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/openClose.html#_open-close), [ROOT](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/rare-cantrips), [ARCANE MARK](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/arcaneMark.html#_arcane-mark), [PRESTIDIGITATION](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/prestidigitation.html#_prestidigitation)

LEVEL 1 [4/Day+1 Prepared] Save DC 14  
SCHOOL SPELL (ILLUSION):  
+(ILLU)VANISH – As invisibility for 1 round/level (5 max).  
+(ILLU)SHADOW WEAPON - Create a quasi-real masterwork weapon.  
+(CONJ) MAGE ARMOUR – Gives subject +4 armour bonus.  
++(ENCH)CHARM PERSON – Makes one person your friend.

WIZARD FIRST-LEVEL SPELLS KNOWN: [MAGE ARMOUR](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/mageArmor.html#_mage-armor), [DISGUISE SELF](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/disguiseSelf.html#_disguise-self), [ILLUSION OF CALM](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/spells/illusionOfCalm.html#_illusion-of-calm), [MAGIC AURA](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/magicAura.html#_magic-aura), [SHADOW WEAPON](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spells/shadowWeapon.html#_shadow-weapon), [VANISH](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/spells/vanish.html#_vanish), [CHARM PERSON](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/charmPerson.html#_charm-person)

LEVEL 2 [3/Day+1 Prepared] Save DC 15  
SCHOOL SPELL (ILLUSION):  
+(ILLU) MISDIRECTION - Misleads divinations for 1 creature or object.  
+++(ILLU) INVISIBILITY - Subject is invisible for 1 min./level or until it attacks.

WIZARD SECOND-LEVEL SPELLS KNOWN: [MISDIRECTION](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/misdirection.html#_misdirection), [INVISIBILITY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/invisibility.html#_invisibility)

LEVEL 3 [1/Day+1 Prepared] Save DC 16  
SCHOOL SPELL (ILLUSION):  
++(ILLU)DISPLACEMENT - Attacks miss subject 50% of the time.

WIZARD THIRD-LEVEL SPELLS KNOWN: [DISPLACEMENT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/displacement.html#displacement)

* * *

DIRK STRIDER [BARD](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/bard.html#_bard) ([SOUND STRIKER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spellcastingClassOptions/bard.html#_sound-striker-\(archetype\))) 8  
NEUTRAL GOOD

TL:DR – Dirk's godmark lets him summon destructive storms. His fires are now so sick, they can cause feelings of dread in his foes.

[ ](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/7kmvohm4luab6po/Dirk%20Strider.png?dl=0)

BASIC STATISTICS  
GENDER: Male  
HAIR/EYES: Blonde hair, orange eyes  
HOMELAND: City of Porthaven (No Fixed Abode)/The Greenweald Forest Region (No Fixed Abode)  
DEITY: The Prince of Heart  
LANGUAGES: Common, Celestial, High Elven, Dwarven  
RACE: Aasimar

ATTRIBUTES  
STRENGTH: 14[+2]  
DEXTERITY: 12[+1]  
CONSTITUTION: 10[+0]  
INTELLIGENCE: 14[+2]  
WISDOM: 10[+0]  
CHARISMA: 18[+4]

HIT POINTS: 46/46  
HERO POINTS: 3/3  
INITIATIVE: +1  
BASE SPEED/S: 30ft (land)

ARMOUR CLASS [AC]: 14  
TOUCH AC: 11  
FLAT-FOOTED AC: 13

BASE ATTACK BONUS [BAB]: +7/+2  
BASIC MELEE ATTACK: +8/+3  
BASIC RANGED ATTACK: +7/+2  
COMBAT MANEUVER BONUS [CMB]: +8/+3  
COMBAT MANEUVER DEFENCE [CMD]: 19

SAVES  
FORTITUDE: +2  
REFLEX: +7  
WILL: +6

[WEAPONS/ATTACKS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/combat/easternArmorAndWeapons.html#_table-eastern-weapons-exotic)  
[MASTERWORK KATANA](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_katana) – This is a [deadly](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/combat/easternArmorAndWeapons.html#_deadly) weapon.  
[DAGGER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_dagger) \- Can be thrown, range 10ft.

EQUIPMENT - [CARRYING CAPACITY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/additionalRules.html#_carrying-capacity) (STR 14)

EQUIPMENT - ITEM SLOTS  
CLOTHING: ENTERTAINER'S OUTFIT + MASK  
This set of flashy- perhaps even gaudy- clothes is for entertaining. While the outfit looks whimsical, its practical design lets the character tumble, dance, walk a tightrope, or just run if the audience turns ugly. The mask is made from painted, varnished wood and cloth; it is ornate, gaudy even- a cheaper and more practical imitation of what a nobleman might wear to a masquerade ball.

ARMOUR: MASTERWORK STUDDED LEATHER  
+3 armour bonus, +5 max DEX bonus, -0 Armour Check Penalty, 15% Arcane Spell Failure Chance, LIGHT  
SPECIAL: Masterwork armour has an Armour Check Penalty one lower than normal and can be enchanted.

HANDS: [GLOVES OF RECONNAISSANCE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/wondrousItems/hands.html#_gloves-of-reconnaissance)  
Each of these fingerless worked leather gloves look as though they have seen heavy use, and often bear the stains or scent of grass or wet mud. On command, the wearer can use the gloves to see and hear though solid material no more than 15 feet thick by placing both hands on that material. The gloves can be used for 10 rounds each day. The rounds need not be consecutive.  


SLOTLESS: [SCABBARD OF VIGOR](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/wondrousItems/slotless.html#_scabbard-of-vigor)  
Once per day, as part of the action of drawing forth the weapon held by a scabbard of vigor, the wearer can order it to endow the weapon with an enhancement bonus on attack and damage rolls. The duration of the effect depends on the desired enhancement bonus for the weapon.  


EQUIPMENT - POSSESSIONS  
Masterwork Katana 6lbs, Masterwork Studded Leather 20lbs, Clothing (Mask, 3gp) 1lb, Gloves of Reconnaissance, Scabbard of Vigor 3lbs, Dagger 1lb, Waterskin 4lbs

>BACKPACK, COMMON 2lbs (Capacity 60lbs)  
Tent (Small, 1 person) 20lbs, Bedroll 5lbs, Kit (Juggler's) 10lbs, Rations (Wandermeal) [x14] [Eating this tough, dried cake for over a week without other nutrients causes the eater to feel ill] 7lbs

>POUCH, BELT 0.5lbs (Capacity 10lbs)  
Flint and Steel, Whetstone 1lb

>CARAVAN (Capacity 200lbs, Can produce mundane items up to 25gp in value)  
Maplehoof (Heavy Horse)

TOTAL 60.5lb (16.5lbs without backpack)

EQUIPMENT - MONEY  
13CP, 6SP, 7GP, 0PP  
OTHER:

SKILLS  
TRAINED  
+APPRAISE +8(3), +BLUFF +15(8), +CRAFT(SCULPTURES) +15(8), +CRAFT(WEAPONS) +13(8), +DIPLOMACY +10(3), HANDLE ANIMAL +5(1), +INTIMIDATE +8(1), +KNOWLEDGE LOCAL +8(2), +PERCEPTION +8(5), +PERFORM(SHARP RHYMES) +15(8), +PERFORM(SWEET MOVES) +15(8), +SENSE MOTIVE +11(8)

UNTRAINED  
+ACROBATICS +1(+7)*, +CLIMB +1*, +CRAFT +2, +DISGUISE +4, +ESCAPE ARTIST +1*, HEAL +0, +KNOWLEDGE ARCANA +3, +KNOWLEDGE DUNGEONEERING +3, +KNOWLEDGE ENGINEERING +3, +KNOWLEDGE GEOGRAPHY +3, +KNOWLEDGE HISTORY +3, +KNOWLEDGE NATURE +3, +KNOWLEDGE NOBILITY +3, +KNOWLEDGE PLANES +3, +KNOWLEDGE RELIGION +3, +PERFORM +3, RIDE +1*, +STEALTH +1*, SURVIVAL +0, SWIM +1*  
(FLY +1*)

*Armour Check Penalty: Skill at –0 due to armour worn.  
+Class Skill

FEATS  
[SPELLSONG [REQUIRES: CHA 13, BARDIC PERFORMANCE, 1st-LEVEL SPELLCASTING]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/ultimateMagicFeats.html#_spellsong)  
The character can blend the power of his performance and spellcasting.

[LINGERING PERFORMANCE [REQUIRES: BARDIC PERFORMANCE CLASS FEATURE]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/advancedFeats.html#_lingering-performance)  
The effects of the character's bardic performance carry on, even after he has stopped performing.

[MASTER CRAFTSMAN (CRAFT: SCULPTURES) [REQUIRES: 5 RANKS IN ANY CRAFT OR PROFESSION SKILL]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_master-craftsman)  
The character's superior crafting skills allow him to create simple magic items.

[CRAFT WONDROUS ITEM [REQUIRES: CASTER LEVEL 3RD]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#craft-wondrous-item)  
The character can create and repair wondrous items, a type of magic item.

[RACIAL ABILITIES: AASIMAR](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advancedRaceGuide/featuredRaces/aasimars.html#_aasimar-racial-traits)  
AASIMARS DO NOT COUNT AS OUTSIDERS FOR THE PURPOSE OF THIS SETTING.  
[DAYLIGHT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/daylight.html#_daylight) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Aasimars can touch an object and cause it to shed a brilliant light which drives back even magical darkness.  
LANGUAGES – Aasimars begin play speaking Common and Celestial. Aasimars with high Intelligence scores can choose any of the following bonus languages: Draconic, Dwarven, High Elven, Gnome, Halfling, and Sylvan.

SPECIAL ABILITIES  
GODMARKED  
WEAPON PROFICIENCY (KATANA)  
[DESTRUCTIVE SMITE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/cleric.html#_destruction-domain) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (7 USES/DAY)– The character can do more damage on a single melee attack, dependent on his character level.   
[DEATHWATCH](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/deathwatch.html#_deathwatch) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY](3 USES/DAY) - The character can determine the condition of creatures near death within the spell's range.  
[GENTLE REPOSE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/gentleRepose.html#_gentle-repose) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY](2 USES/DAY) - Preserves one corpse from decay for 1 day/character level.  
[ANIMATE DEAD](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/animateDead.html#animate-dead) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY](1 USE/DAY) - This spell turns corpses into undead skeletons or zombies that obey the character's spoken commands.  
[DEADLY WEATHER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/cleric.html#deadly-weather) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (8 ROUNDS/DAY) – The character can unleash a furious call to the heavens, summoning forth an everchanging storm of destruction.

CLASS FEATURES  
WEAPON AND ARMOUR PROFICIENCY: BARD  
A bard is proficient with all simple weapons, plus the longsword, rapier, sap, shortsword, shortbow and whip. Bards are also proficient with light armour and shields (except tower shields). A bard can cast bard spells while wearing light armour and using a shield without incurring the normal arcane spell failure chance. Like any other arcane spellcaster, a bard wearing medium or heavy armour incurs a chance of arcane spell failure is the spell in question has a somatic component. A multiclass bard still incurs the normal arcane spell failure chance for arcane spells received from other classes.

BARDIC KNOWLEDGE [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
A bard has a little knowledge in all areas, and learns more as he becomes more experienced.

[BARDIC PERFORMANCE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/bard.html#_bardic-performance) (18 ROUNDS/DAY)  
A bard can create magical effects around him, so long as he is able to keep performing. He can make use of the following abilities when he performs, so long as he can be seen and/or heard by those he wishes to affect.  
1\. COUNTERSONG [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY]  
2\. DISTRACTION [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY]  
3\. FASCINATE [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (TARGETS 1)  
4\. INSPIRE COURAGE (+2) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY]  
5\. [WEIRD WORDS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spellcastingClassOptions/bard.html#_weird-words) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY]  
6\. [DIRGE OF DOOM](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/bard.html#dirge-of-doom) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY]

[VERSATILE PERFORMANCE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/bard.html#_versatile-performance) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY] (Perform [Sweet Moves], Perform [Sharp Rhymes])  
At 2nd level, the bard can choose one type of Perform skill. He can use his bonus in that skill in place of his bonus in associated skills. Perform (Sweet Moves) can substitute for: Acrobatics, Fly. Perform (Sharp Rhymes) can substitute for: Bluff, Sense Motive.

[WELL-VERSED](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/bard.html#_well-versed) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
At 2nd level, the bard becomes resistant to the bardic performance of others, and to sonic effects in general.

[WORDSTRIKE [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spellcastingClassOptions/bard.html#_wordstrike) 1D4+7 (1/2 for living creatures)  
At 3rd level, the sound striker can direct bursts of sonic power in his words, damaging creatures or objects.

[LORE MASTER [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/bard.html#_lore-master) 1/DAY  
At 5th level, the bard becomes a master of lore and can perform any Knowledge skill check he has experience in with ease.

SPELLS  
LEVEL 0 [At Will] Save DC 13  
[DETECT MAGIC](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/detectMagic.html#_detect-magic), [MENDING](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/mending.html#_mending), [MESSAGE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/message.html#_message), [PRESTIDIGITATION](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/prestidigitation.html#_prestidigitation), [SIFT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/spells/sift.html#_sift), [UNWITTING ALLY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/spells/unwittingAlly.html#_unwitting-ally)

LEVEL 1 [5/Day] Save DC 14  
[CHORD OF SHARDS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spells/chordOfShards.html#_chord-of-shards), [CURE LIGHT WOUNDS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/cureLightWounds.html#_cure-light-wounds), [MOMENT OF GREATNESS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/spells/momentOfGreatness.html#_moment-of-greatness), [TIMELY INSPIRATION](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/spells/timelyInspiration.html#_timely-inspiration), [GREASE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/grease.html#grease)

LEVEL 2 [5/Day] Save DC 16  
[ALLEGRO](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spells/allegro.html#_allegro), [BLADED DASH](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/all-spells/b/bladed-dash), [MASTERWORK TRANSFORMATION](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spells/masterworkTransformation.html#_masterwork-transformation), [SHATTER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/shatter.html#_shatter)

LEVEL 3 [3/Day] Save DC 17  
[MARTIAL MARIONETTE](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/all-spells/m/martial-marionette), [SEE INVISIBILITY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/seeInvisibility.html#see-invisibility), [BLINK](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/blink.html#blink)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just to be clear: Jake's new outfit did originally include a cape and scarf, and did not include that natty vest. Jake was/will not be impressed and shall be making the alterations to his attire as soon as he is compos mentis.
> 
> LEVEL EIGHT! WHOO!
> 
> Since I just did four really time-consuming chapters, I'm taking an update off. The next update will be 16/08/2015 - thank you all for reading, and I hope to see you again then!


	121. ==> Jade: Stumble Across Something Big

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Hero point votes:**  
>  NO VOTES SO FAR THIS ROUND.
> 
>  **Current Hero Points:**  
>  John 3/5, Rose 1/5, ~~Dave 3/3,~~ Jade 2/3  
>  Karkat 3/5, Gamzee 2/3, Terezi 4/5  
> Sollux 2/3, Aradia 1/3, ~~Kanaya 5/5~~  
>  Jane 2/5, ~~Jake 5/5,~~ Roxy 2/3, ~~Dirk 3/3~~

## ==> Jade: Stumble Across Something Big

You are woken from an elusive dream by a burst of power. It burns into you like a brilliant fire, and something in you answers. It's like a forest waking inside of you, a tree whose branches span the space between stars.

When you sit up, you are glowing. You see Sollux jolt upright across from you, liminal light dancing across his skin. His foot glows with the skull of Doom, and as you tap your collarbone, questioning, he nods once. His eyes are narrowing.

“Mh?” Sarona's head emerges from her bedroll. You are all sleeping under the same tarp, and there's nowhere to hide before she looks at you. Her eyes widen immediately, making the middle-aged academic look like a young girl. “OH!”

“There's a perfectly reasonable explanation for this!” you say, with a slightly desperate grin. Sollux groans and flops back down. The light is already fading, leaving you feel hollowed-out and saddened.

“So you are the Witch's child,” says Ursus. You jump a little; you hadn't realised he was awake, too. Then again, the amount of magic you and Sollux just radiated, you'd be more shocked if your fellow spell-casters had remained unconscious. Even Henzar is sitting up, rubbing sleep-sand from his eyes.

“A witch?” Sarona is already reaching for her field journal.

 _“The_ Witch,” Ursus corrects. From the way he scowls at you, you don't think he's any more impressed than he was. “The Green Lady.”

Sarona scrambles out of her bedroll. “Fascinating! Can I see?”

You shrug, and pull your tunic down a little so that the mark on your skin shows. “It's never done that before,” you say, with a glance across at Sollux. “What do you think it means?”

He makes a sour noise and burrows back into his blanket. “Thomeone did thomething thtupid, probably. Who fucking careth?”

“It's in the shape of the sigil of Space!” Sarona prods at you, a little too sharply. Bec raises his head and growls at her before you can, and she raises her hands. “I'm just examining- wait!” She whirls, pointing a finger at the lump of blankets and bedding that is Sollux. “You were glowing too!”

“Don't care,” says Sollux.

“What does it mean?” Henzar whispers. To Ursus, although you all heard him. He's not good at whispering.

“We don't know,” you say. “But we're not the only ones. I have three siblings who have different sigil marks, and Sollux's friends, and those drow we met-”

“How many?” Sarona asks, snatching up her journal with her free hand.

Sollux's head pops up. “A whole pantheon of athholeth,” he says, clearly, before retreating again.

You feel obliged to clarify. “We've seen enough of us to think there might be one for each god? Celestial and Infernal, at least.”

“Fascinating!” You think you might have just made her year. Maybe the decade. “Do you have a means of contacting them? I have questions-”

Sollux throws his blankets aside with a disgusted noise. “If we're up, we're up,” he says, rolling to his feet. “Let'th go delving in thome thitty cave.”

You shrug at Sarona. You don't have a problem with talking to her, but Sollux is obviously bothered by it. “You know, my brother grew up in a dwarf hold,” you say brightly. You don't think she's fooled, but she accepts the distraction. You chatter about everything Jake wrote in his letters while your group strikes camp. Sollux leads the way past the dead snake and into the dark cave beyond. Light streams from behind you as Sarona pulls a sunrod from her pack. You'd almost forgotten that Aasimar eyes are weaker in the dark.

The tunnel winds down into the darkness. You feel a thrill of familiar excitement as you step into the cave, although you couldn't say why. It feels as if there is something important waiting for you in the depths.

Perhaps Sollux feels the same way, because he is weirdly silent as your band descends. The light from Sarona's sunrod is more than clear enough to see by and you stare at the details of the wall carvings you pass. Worn though they are, the pictures are still clear, if stylised. In them, tiny figures struggle against vast landscapes and grotesque, slightly ludicrous foes. You can't make out much of each figure, but they are marked with the Divine sigils and the silhouette of their clothes gives some clue whether you are studying Witch or Sylph, Knight or Maid.

“Look at this!” Sarona whispers, her fingers drifting towards the wall then clenching away. “This is incredible! Possibly the oldest legends of the gods ever recorded, and look, Celestial and Infernal pantheons combined!” She is all but bouncing in glee. “I wonder... did the split in worship precede or follow the societal segregation? Do your marks give you any insight?”

Ursus huffs disapprovingly. Your own approval for her enthusiasm is hard to concentrate on; the carvings keep drawing your gaze. They almost seem to move, and as you travel deeper and deeper you feel as if you are walking through the events themselves, a giant surrounded by tiny mortals.

The thought makes you giggle to yourself. Sollux jumps as if zapped by lightning.

As you wend deeper, the rock itself starts to reflect the light. This isn't like the caves beneath the Dragonshards. The Deep Caverns were fascinating, of course, but they were also cold and chill and dark. This place is dry and warm and sparkling. It's as if light had ossified and burrowed into the earth, waiting to be woken by your band of intrepid explorers.

That thought you find mildly unnerving, and you wind your fingers into Bec's fur. He leans against your leg and you feel a whole lot better. He is the best animal companion a lass could wish for!

The passage ends abruptly with a final image panel, colours bright against uneven rock even after the countless ages it must have been down here. You look at it like a faded memory. It looks like a map of the planes, you think, colourful circles all linked by lines and orbits. You wish you knew enough to identify them all.

Your companions seem impressed themselves. Sarona pulls out her journal and starts sketching; Ursus leans closer to the image. Sarona lets out a small squeak as he runs a finger over the surface of the image.

“These pigments are part of the rock,” he says, ignoring the academic's distress. “Not a paint or a plaster.”

“It's too bright for clay,” says Henzar. He gets an approving nod from his mentor.

“It doesn't have to be any of them,” you say, reaching out and holding back just a few inches away.

“It'th old,” says Sollux. On the face of it his words don't relate to what you said, but can tell you're approaching the same impression from different angles.

“I need to bring a team down here,” says Sarona, with a faraway look in her eyes. “An artist, of course, to copy the pictures. Religious and arcane scholars, geology specialists...”

“We should head back,” says Ursus, with some impatience. “Clearly there are no clues as to the location of the City of Shadows to be found here.”

Henzar frowns. “It should be here.”

“Doethn't mean it hath to be in thith hole,” Sollux mutters.

“No, it is.” Henzar steps forward and even though he's the most junior druid present you step smartly out of his way. Whatever you're looking for, it's meant for tieflings to find, which makes him the best person to be looking.

He studies the picture with a frown, then turns away from it and walks back the way you came. The way he's looking, you don't think it's the images he's interested in. You follow, taking another look yourself, trying to avoid the pull of the story around you.

He stops by a section of wall that doesn't seem at all special to you. It's focused on the Maid of Time- you recognise the colour of Aradia's eyes in the swirls of the picture. “Here. It's here.”

All four of you try to squint at the rock at once. You don't notice anything, apart from the fact that the pigment is part of the rock here too. Sollux lets out an indignant _“ow, fuck!”_ as Sarona elbows him in the head.

Henzar reaches out and touches the image. “It's smooth,” he says, and it is. You could kick yourself for not noticing!

“No way you thaw that from acroth the pathage,” says Sollux.

Henzar gives him an odd look. “No, I felt it. You can't?”

Ursus looks closer, then nods. “The red rock. Of course.” When he sees your confusion, he sniffs. “Tieflings are sensitive to-”

“Lightning and ley iron!” You look again at the rock, the rust embedded in it. “That's clever!”

Henzar pushes at the panel of rock. Nothing happens.

Sollux snorts softly. “We're thuppothed to make it here ath children.” He walks closer and crouches down, then gives the wall a gentle push.

There is barely more than a faint scrape of rock as it gives, the base rolling inward, the top swinging out above you. Henzar has to jump back to avoid cracking his horns. The moment Sollux lets go it starts to turn back into place and you all rush forward to hold it. There's a dull golden light shining out from the other side. There is a pause as you look at one another, silently wondering who will go first.

Then Bec ducks past you and slips under the rock, and what can you do but roll after him? You carry the momentum through to get you to your feet, and find yourself standing in a short hall. The light is coming from an arch ahead of you; Bec is already waiting, ears pricked, looking back over his shoulder. You don't bother to wait for the others. You can hear them scrambling through as you go to join your companion.

Beyond him you see... white.

A wall of scaled flesh rises above you. Stubby legs curl up under it- you count three along the side you can see, all of them big enough to crush the head of the serpent you fought yesterday. There's a shell of some sort on top of the body, which you could describe as barrel-like if barrels came in mansion-sized. A long tail flicks lazily at the far end of the cavern, a wicked sting atop it. You're looking at almost a hundred feet of scaly monster and something about it feels really, _really_ old.

“Oh, _thit,”_ whispers Sollux, beside you. You hear the others walk closer and, one by one, stop.

“I don't believe it,” Sarona whispers. “I thought it was a myth!”

“Lusii,” says Henzar, pointing. Around the monstrous talons of the beast there are smaller white creatures, curled up like cubs against their mother. Wolves, cats, ravens, lizards... you can see every type of creature you might think to name, sleeping in this cavern.

You can see the bones in the corner, too.

“Ith thith where they come from?” Sollux whispers. “What ith that thing?”

“A legend,” says Sarona. “Mentioned in ancient tales. It is said it was born with the world to bring about its destruction. The tales say a wise seer tricked it into a prison under the earth, to slumber forever. I never thought...”

She falls silent. You think about fighting the anaconda and examine the leonine head of the creature with its brutal fangs, visible even in sleep. Then again, generations of tieflings have been coming here. They must have made it out alive...

“Tho, are we thure the Thity of Thadowth ithn't thith thing'th belly?”

...oh. Never mind, then.

“Let's see if we can find anything,” you whisper. “Before it notices us.”

“No!” Ursus strangles his shout slightly too late and it comes out as a squeak. He huffs, then repeats more softly: “No. We should retreat now.”

“I'm not giving up,” says Henzar. “Not just because of a sleeping-”

The monster shifts. The world shifts with it. You all tumble like pins against one another and end up in a pile. Bec wriggles out from under you and you all freeze, staring up at the half-lidded eye above you as it blinks. It's like watching a continent shift.

Sarona finishes his sentence for him. “-Tarrasque.”

### Suggestions Used

 _Musius -_ All Godmarks: Decide you're sick of being hidden and glow (or burn) through clothes and armor.

 _gutza1 -_ Tarrasque: Stir in your slumber.

 _ttd0000 -_ Surly Dog Company: Trip over the main plot. Promptly hide because you seem to have accidentally bypassed some really necessary grinding or something. Point is, that things CR must be huge.

 _AmazonKat -_ Anyone: Regret the decisions that have led to your current predicament.

### System Notes

DC15/25 Perception Check  
Jade's perception check = 13 ( **natural 1** )  
Sollux's perception check = 3  
JADE FAILS TO NOTICE ANYTHING ABOUT THE ROCK. SOLLUX NOTICES LESS.

DC15 Knowledge Nature Check  
Jade's knowledge nature check = 15 ( **natural 1** )

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let's start with a bang! And by a bang, I mean a Tarrasque, the most notorious of high-level D&D monsters!
> 
> (As Tarrasques are a. canonically unintelligent and b. insanely dangerous and unkillable all suggestions that involve fighting or talking with the Tarrasque are highly likely to be rejected.)
> 
> Hope you're all well! :D


	122. ==> Jake: Be Fine(ish)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Hero point votes:**  
>  Rose 1
> 
>  **Current Hero Points:**  
>  John 3/5, Rose 1/5, ~~Dave 3/3~~ , Jade 2/3  
> Karkat 3/5, Gamzee 2/3, Terezi 4/5  
> Sollux 2/3, Aradia 1/3, ~~Kanaya 5/5~~  
>  Jane 2/5, ~~Jake 5/5~~ , Roxy 2/3, ~~Dirk 3/3~~

## ==> Jake: Be Fine(ish)

Your second underwater wake-up is every bit as undignified as your first. When the initial panic fades and you manage to disentangle your head from the drifting fabric, you turn near florescent at the realisation that you've had an audience for the whole humiliating rigmarole.

“Aradia!” Your voice comes out as a bubbly gurgle. A few seconds later your mind thoughtfully lets you know that you are stark bollock naked. You grab the corner of the tattered bed-curtain and fight to preserve what scraps of modesty you have remaining. “Where in the blue blazes are my fucking clothes!?”

“We're not sure,” says Aradia. Her voice has taken on an odd, burbling quality underwater. “”Eridan threw them somewhere, we think. It's okay; I don't mind!”

“I mind!” You start looking desperately about for clothing. “There has to be something I can wear around here!”

Aradia's nose scrunches up. “You don't want what _he_ was wearing,” she says. The “he” sounds like a dirty word on her lips. “The priestesses are looking for something fresh, but they don't really go in for clothes down here.” She drifts over and settles on the foot of the bed, crosslegged. You scramble back away from her. You're not usually such a nervous nelly, but there's a hole in your memory and you're indecently unclothed and...

“You have fins!” You point accusingly at Aradia, who appears to have transmogrified into a tiefling-merrow hybrid while you were out for the count.

She grins at you. “And gills!” She pulls back her hair to show you the lines crossing her neck. They flutter slightly in the current and you shudder. The flesh inside them is dark red and to you they look like deep gouges, injuries in the skin. It's macabre.

“I have a passenger as well,” says Aradia, letting her hair fall again. “But Fef is being a polite guest. Not like yours.”

There is a headache pressing against the inside of your skull. You close your eyes and take what would have been deep breaths were it not for the water. The resulting spluttering fit is not as calming as you would have hoped.

“Where are we?” you ask, rubbing your hoarse throat. “What happened? How did you find me?”

“Don't try to thank me too much or anything!” Aradia says, frowning.

You bury your face in your hands. Gods, but you are terrible at this. “I'm sorry. And I do appreciate that you came after me. I think we can safely say that I won't be engaging in any half-baked heroics any time soon!”

“I nearly drowned,” Aradia tells you. She actually sounds a tad smug about it. “And then I met a goddess.”

...you want to go home.

“Are you okay?” asks Aradia. You look at her, surprised, then realise that you're trembling.

“I think I preferred being attacked by sea serpents,” you say. “At least a fellow knows where he stands with villainous pirates riding oceanic beasts.”

“It's true.” Aradia burbles thoughtfully, spinning in the water. “Feferi says that she can't stay with me much longer. We need to set out for land now you're awake. Do you think you can get out of the bed?”

“I still don't have any clothes,” you point out.

Aradia points to a small heap of shimmering jewellery beside the bed. “People don't really wear clothes here. If you put that on nobody will look twice.” She thinks about this. “Well, maybe twice. You are an air-breather, after all!”

You _really_ aren't comfortable with this, but it doesn't look as if you have much choice. You start picking through the pile. The torc you drop straight away. It's beautifully made but after Golgesi you don't particularly like the thought of wearing what is, essentially, a collar. There's a scrap of embroidered cloth attached to a heavy belt of metal links that will just about cover you up, curiously in shades of pink. You have no intention of being fussy about that and put it on in short order. There are some wide bangles that turn out to fit your ankles, ear-rings you don't have holes for, and some thick arm-bands that you willingly snap into place. As you slide the last one up your bicep, you see something you weren't expecting.

“What the-” You twist your arm, trying to see more clearly. The edges of black lines are just barely visible.

“We, um, had to tattoo you,” says Aradia. Your head snaps around and you stare at her. She shrugs. “Sorry! But Eridan really had his claws into you. It's sort of a magical rune that keeps him out. Feferi helped.”

“What?” You look around the room and see a disc of gold on the far wall. You try to scramble out of the bed to reach it and tumble head over heel to the floor. “Ow!”

“Jake!” Aradia's head pops up over you. “Are you alright?”

“Why am I so bloody sore?” you ask, lying on the cool stone. The fall didn't hurt so much, the water slowing you down, but every muscle in your body is burning.

Aradia seems to think for a moment. “Magical exhaustion? And we did kick your butt while Eridan was controlling you.”

You groan. “Be a pal and help me over to that mirror, would you?”

She swims over the bed and lifts you up, tucking your arm around her shoulder and kicking across the room. You study yourself in the polished gold, twisting your arm so you can see the new mark on it. It's... not what you would have chosen, but not too bad either. A twisting, looping sigil that seems almost to move as you look at it.

“It's your Name,” says Aradia. “You should probably cover it up around anyone who can read Abyssal.”

“What!?” You flail and regret it immediately when she drops you and you fall again. “Ow! Why in the nine hells would you write my true name on me in Abyssal? How does that help?”

“It's sort of complicated,” says Aradia. “But basically, we needed to mark you as not-Eridan so that he would get booted out. And Feferi is better at Abyssal than any of the other magical languages.”

You look at the tattoo again. “Mother will disown me.” You consider a moment longer, lost in nostalgia as you think of your family. “Bryn is going to want one.”

Aradia falls silent alongside you. After a moment she shakes herself, then tugs on your arm. You wince but she doesn't seem to notice.

“Come on,” she says. “We should get going.”

The carven cave you are in opens out onto a wide terrace. Someone has gone to a great deal of trouble to reshape the rock here; it looks nothing like dwarven work, but in a strange way it still reminds you of home. You hover behind Aradia, trying to conceal yourself as you pass stern-faced Merrow women. They all carry tridents and despite her assurances they are wearing more than you are. Most of it looks something like the jewellery you were offered, but rather than gold it has the silver-blue sheen of mithral. Fine sheets of chain cover everything but their limbs, backed with flashes of dark pink. It stands out against their pale, green-tinted skin.

“They like pink,” you comment.

“Tyrian, really, and it's Fef's colour,” says Aradia. “Eridan's followers wear purple, only they don't right now because they're all under guard or in hiding.” She grins. “The royal family are apparently Feferi followers.”

“Oh,” you say, because you can't think of much more to add to that. You're eyeing up one of the guards and wondering if you might be able to get some of their armour if you ask nicely, when a woman wearing exactly as little as you comes floating out of an opening overhead.

“My Lady!” she calls, landing in front of the two of you and crossing her arms over her chest. She faces Aradia and continues. “The Ancient One felt your companion awake. She has asked to speak with you both before you leave.”

“Take us there!” says Aradia. The woman- who as far as you can tell actually looks elderly, although it's hard to say when there are scales on her skin and her hair looks like seaweed- turns to lead you back along her path.

“Wait!” you blurt. She pauses and gives you a look that's equal parts reverence, wariness, and irritation. “Uh, I don't suppose anyone has found my things yet? My clothes and, um, I had these things that were sort of this shape...” You make a gun with your fingers, feeling more and more awkward as her stare stretches on.

“I will ask the acolytes,” she says, eventually. “Follow me, please, my Lady.”

You fumble after the two of them. You are still sore all over, and while the amulet you wear lets you breathe water it doesn't make you any manner of swimmer. Aradia flickers through the water like a fish ahead of you.

The opening leads to a tunnel that dives into the chasm side. You feel safer walking down it, even if your steps are buoyed upwards and the Merrow favour a more organic style than geometric Dwarven carvings. The place is well-lit by the unearthly cold blue lights these people prefer, but you baulk when the tunnel exits into a large, shimmering temple chamber.

“Bugger this,” you say, and turn around. Aradia grabs you by the belt.

“Don't be a baby!” she says. You frown at her. You are not being a baby! You have a perfectly reasonable and rational dislike of underwater temples!

“Think of it as an adventure,” Aradia adds. “It wouldn't be so bad if we were here to plunder it and make a dramatic escape, would it?”

Your guide, whom you imagine to be a priestess, lets out a glub of horror. You fold your arms. “Fine. I'll go along with your preposterous notions. But I want to get some breeches out of this!”

Aradia gives the priestess a look, and she swims off, her body undulating through the water with a minimum of messy splashing. You note as she does that clothes probably would get in the way of that motion, not to mention being heavy and sodden and... well. Maybe you'd rather get dressed once you're back on dry land.

This temple, you note, is actually quite different from the one where you met the being known as Eridan. Less gold, more mosaics and pearly tile. It looks less like a cluttered treasure chamber. You keep an eye open for skull racks as you descend to the pool in the middle of the temple. Or a hole, you suppose- it can't be a pool underwater. But it looks like one. The water inside is darker, heavier somehow. Faint tendrils of blackness drift up like smoke into the surrounding water.

Aradia stops beside it and stoops, running her fingers across the... the surface, you suppose? Good golly, but you'll be glad to get up above surface where things make sense again.

The black water starts to bubble and a large tentacle erupts from beneath.

“Aradia! Watch out!” You leap forward, throwing your weight into a blow that you hope will distract the nefarious creature long enough for your comrade to make her escape.

“Jake!” yells Aradia, as the tentacle snatches you mid-leap. You are briefly consumed with terror, and then with pain, as it shakes you and throws you back across the mosaic.

“Oww,” you groan, sitting up. “Right, you scurrilous cephalopod! Prepare for round two!”

“Jake! This is the Ancient One!”

“Oh.” You slump back onto the tile. “Well. Never mind then.” Truth be told, you're glad to avoid the tussle. You're hardly fighting fit right now.

Aradia drifts over to you. “Come on. Let's hear what she has to say.”

You let yourself be led back over to the pool and watch suspiciously as two tentacles rise up, streaming dark water.

“It's alright,” says Aradia, right before one of them touches her on the forehead. You shudder and swallow your protests. Your hand is still touching hers when the second tentacle makes contact with you.

_You are in the dark-cool-safe, in the place where time is space and blood is breath. Here you remember Eridan's words to you, Feferi's words to Aradia. Here you feel the Name on your arm wrapped around your soul, guarding it like armour. Here you know that there are secrets that cannot be told, truths that can only be hinted at if the last hope is to be captured._

_Where are our friends, asks Aradia, and you are ashamed that you did not think to ask. But there is an island to the south and east where you must go, a land of ancient secrets and hidden things. It is dangerous, but you will be safe there, because it knows you as part of itself. From Gold to Silver is your path-stream-current._

_Your friends will not be there. But if you are to find them, it is where you must go. Fate is on your side, but not your ally. The idea rings, swirls, shapes around you. On your side, not your ally._

_Use it, **but do not trust it.**_

You are thrown out with a force strong enough to send you reeling. For a moment you aren't sure who or where or _what_ you are. The tentacles vanish with a rapidity that is almost alarming, and you are left with the lingering sense of eyes staring at the back of your neck.

There is a young woman staring at you. This one you think is young. She is also blue. You stare, unaccountably enchanted.

“We... we found your things, my Lord,” she says, holding out a bundle to you.

You all but snatch it from her and start hunting through it. She's mostly right; the majority of your things are here, but every item of clothing worth less than a gold piece has gone missing. Which means no breeches or boots, still. Still, you shrug on your vest and bandoleers and feel considerably less naked. The guns you groan at; the powder is ruined and you're going to have to work at it to dry them out later.

“What's your name?” Aradia asks.

“Cadi, my Lady,” says the blue priestess.

“Cadi, I need you to take some messages,” says Aradia. “I need them to get to some people on land. Can we do that?”

The woman looks alarmed, but nods. “For you, my Lady, we can.”

“Good.” Aradia turns to you. “We need to send word of what we've learned. To Sollux and your family. And to the University, just in case.”

 _In case they didn't make it,_ she doesn't say. You nod and heft your guns. Useless though they are, it still feels better with their familiar weight in your hands.

“Let's get to it, then,” you say, and try out a rakish grin. You think it goes quite well.

### Suggestions Used:

 _Orasa -_ Anyone: Get a tattoo. (possibly unintentionally, possibly embarrassing)

 _ttd0000 -_ Amazons: Pink is a warriors color. Wear a lot of it.

 _1JakoftheMoon1 -_ Jake: Guys, relax, I'm fine! I bet I could take out a giant squid with one pu- ow! Ow ow ow I'm fine ow.

 _Politicalmetrics -_ Creature from the Abyss: Be surprisingly friendly, give advice to the group.

 _Kam-I-Am -_ Aradia: Ask the Lunar Lords you're hanging out with for directions to meet up with your friends.

 _MASK -_ Aradia: make backup plans in case of future team screw-ups.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, Jake and Aradia get underway! And the plot thickens. At this point it's more like mud than plot, really.
> 
> I just wanted to say thanks to everyone who's been reading, and another big thanks to those who have been commenting! You guys are great and I love hearing from you, even if I'm not always the fastest to reply.
> 
> Now have fun imagining how an underwater culture delivers messages to the surface world. I know I will.


	123. ==> Roxy: Shit, Let's Be Gods

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Hero point votes:**  
>  Rose 1  
> Aradia 2
> 
> **Current Hero Points:**  
>  John 3/5, Rose 1/5, ~~Dave 3/3,~~ Jade 2/3  
>  Karkat 3/5, Gamzee 2/3, Terezi 4/5  
> Sollux 2/3, Aradia 1/3, ~~Kanaya 5/5~~  
>  Jane 2/5, ~~Jake 5/5,~~ Roxy 2/3, ~~Dirk 3/3~~

## ==> Roxy: Shit, Let's Be Gods

“I can't believe you got us thrown out of the fucking city!” 

Karkat is a funny guy. You watch him pack his things like a furious whirlwind, taking the time to fold things even though his fingers are shaking with rage. He's tidier than you are. More importantly, he's tidier than _Rose_ is, which is probably the most hilarious thing ever. 

You manage not to laugh, though, because you think you know the reason he's upset and it's not got anything to do with leaving Alftor. 

“We were doing just fucking fine here!” Karkat jams the last few items into his pack and hauls on the drawstring so hard you think it might break. “And then you come rolling into town like the literal assclown circus and drag us into your sideshow!” 

“Yeah, we're all kinds of trouble like that,” you agree. You drop down onto the cushions next to his pack and bounce a little. Frigglish pads over and settles by your knee. Karkat gives him a glare. 

“What are you doing here?” he asks, scowling. “Come to gloat about ruining my life?” 

“Rosie wants to talk,” you tell him. 

“Of course she fucking does.” He starts to pace. “Whatever would life be without lectures from the Seer of Interminable Shitty Speeches? Woe betide us lowly not-quite-mortals bereft of her wisdom. Let's all throw ourselves at her feet and listen in rapture while she _talks!”_

“She wants to talk with you,” you clarify. “Not at you.” You consider this. “I guess it can be kinda similar, but she means well. She thinks you're, like, hella good at all this oracular stuff.” 

He lets out a strangled stream that turns into a choked sob and collapses next to you. His voice is somewhat muffled by the cushions. “Fuck me.” 

“'S that an offer?” You flop down next to him and he raises his head to glare at you. His face is close enough you can feel his breath. You give him your best and most friendly of grins. 

“I hate you,” he hisses. Your smile fades. He is a tough cookie to cheer up. 

“Olivia,” you say. His eyes narrow to sharp little slits, so you clarify. “I asked around. Some of the other kids knew her name, so...” 

“How is that any of your fucking business?” Karkat jumps to his feet and starts pacing again. “Pretty fucking presumptuous, don't you think? We met what, four hours ago? What makes you think I give a shit what her name was?” He glares as you open your mouth. “That's not the sort of question you answer, shit-for-brains. I know there's an open sewer running from your mind to your mouth, but that doesn't mean I want to get up close and sniff the contents.” 

You don't say anything. You run your fingers through Frigglish's fur. It's soft and fluffy; you are so glad you can clean your familiar off with magic, because he doesn't like water at all. 

“ _Asked around,”_ Karkat spits. “You don't belong here. You belong in some gold-plated palace eating... whatever overpriced beetleshit surface-dwellers eat when they can afford to get ripped off every day. You never even met that kid. She wasn't anything to you. Alive or dead, people like her don't matter to anyone unless someone wants something from them.” He stares right at you and yep, you win that bet you made with yourself, he is totally crying now. 

He flinches back when you stand, but lets you put your hand on his shoulder. You don't say anything, just pull him into a hug. You are a good hugger, everyone says so. After a moment he collapses against you and cries quietly into your shoulder. You pat him on the back and try not to be too worried about how quiet he is all of a sudden. 

He steps away as soon as his shoulders stop shaking, and you pat him on one damp cheek. Then you pinch his nose. “Heh. So nubby!” 

He swats your hand away, scowling, and there's a sudden and totally fake coughing fit from the doorway. You both turn and see John pretending to choke, his own hands at his throat. 

“You look like a complete fucking idiot, Warden,” says Karkat, flatly. 

John stops and snaps back upright. “I could have been really choking!” he says, eyes wide in false horror. “I can't believe you would have let me die!” 

“I'd save you,” you say, sauntering over to him and pressing a kiss to his cheek. “ _Every time.”_

He grins and a blush spreads up his cheeks. _So cute._

Karkat rolls his eyes. “You're here for Rose too. Of course.” He pushes past the two of you. “See you downstairs. I want to get to her before she sends any more members of the rowdy asshole party up after me.” 

You and John follow him along the upper hall of the Adventurers' Guild towards the back stairs. It doesn't seem a good idea to stick to the more public areas of the building right now. 

“You guys seem to be getting on,” says John. 

“Oh, yeah.” You snicker. “He even pro-propo- asked me to screw him.” 

John stiffens. You dance ahead a few steps. “John?” 

“I can kick his ass if you want.” 

You laugh. “Oh, Lady of Shadows, you are totes jealous!” 

“Am not!” He flushes even more. 

“Are too!” You shove him in the shoulder. “I'm joking, dumbass.” 

He ducks his head. “Sorry.” 

You wrap your fingers around his, and follow Karkat down the stairs with a lighter heart. 

The Adventurers' Guild smoothed things over with the city for you, but between your marks and the fight you're in a weird position where nobody wants you around but everyone wants to keep an eye on you. Or maybe worship you. At any rate, the Guild wants you out the building and Rose wants you gone into the sunset. The people you see on the way downstairs stare at the three of you. You and John wave. Karkat yells at them and makes rude gestures that you memorise for later. 

The smell of something wonderful draws you to the kitchen. It's a long, low-slung room with windows set high in the brick. The cooks are bustling, working to feed an army of adventurers, but one corner is being given a wide berth. In it, friends old and new are sitting around a flour-dusted table. Jane is standing, ferociously mixing in an earthenware bowl. 

“Janey!” You run up to her and dip a finger in the batter before she can swat you away. “Mmm! What is it?” 

“It's motherfucking miracles is what it's all to being,” says one of the drow. The tall one, Gamzee. He's on the other side of the table, head in his hands, watching Jane with a dreamy expression on his painted face. Like this he doesn't look at all threatening- more like a big lanky puppy, all knobbly bits. 

Jane scowls at him as she empties the mix into a tin. “I told you to stop staring at me, or it's no cake for you, mister.” 

“Aw, but bakery-sis...” 

Karkat thumps him on the way past. “Close your fucking mouth before your tongue strikes out on its own and horrifies us all.” 

Gamzee closes his mouth, but doesn't stop staring at Jane. He slowly takes another sip from the bottle beside him. 

“I'm glad you could join us, Karkat,” says Rose. She's sitting poised at the far end of the table, Terezi beside her. “I'm led you believe you have a journal that may be of some use to us in deciphering the nature of our existence.” 

“The journal. Of fucking course.” He turns to Terezi. “I suppose you told her about it, since you can't keep your oversize wordflap sealed for five fucking minutes.” 

“Actually, I did.” Kanaya emerges from the other door, Dave and Dirk with her. You don't miss the faint flush on her cheeks, or the matching blush Rose has. You grin and watch as your sister stands from the table, takes a step towards the drow woman, pauses, then holds out her hand. Kanaya stares at it, then awkwardly takes it and gives it a formal shake before letting go. They watch one another all the way back to the table; Rose actually crashes into the stool before she sits down. 

Karkat rolls his eyes. “Kanaya?” 

There is no response. You walk around the table, lean over your sister's shoulder, and blow on her ear. Rose jumps, and so does Kanaya. 

“Well, that's fucking adorable,” drawls Dave. He's shuffled his way in next to Rose, and turns to Terezi, jerking his thumb at your sister. “You think we should give them some space?” 

She cackles and leans in. “We could get our own space, chilli pepper.” 

“What the fuck even is that?” Karkat grumbles. He dumps his pack on the table and fishes out a tattered book, then throws it at Rose. “Here. Knock yourself out.” 

Terezi all but snatches it out of your sister's hands. “Here.” She flicks through the pages and stabs a finger down, triumphant. Rose looks at it and swallows. 

“What is it?” asks John, next to you. 

“See for yourselves,” says Rose. You squint over her shoulder and try to read the page, which is covered in smudgy scrawl in a language you don't recognise and sketches that... that... 

“That's the Temple District, in Porthaven!” says John. “Look, you can see the statues on the Oracle Way!” 

“'S not just the District,” you say. “That's the view from Rose's window.” 

Rose turns the book so everyone can see it. Dave whistles. Dirk goes very, very still. 

“When did you draw this?” Dirk asks. 

Karkat barely glances at the journal. “Ten years ago, and before you ask, no, I hadn't even thought about going to the surface then.” 

“Shit, bro,” says Gamzee. “Always said that was some hells of special shit, right there.” He takes another swig from his bottle and grins at you all. “My motherfucking miracle bro always had the seeing of what we was to be, just not all the pieces to be making that puzzle out aright.” 

“Our situation is quite clear,” says Rose. She turns the journal back and starts to flip through it, idly. “This journal is simply confirmation of what we already know. We have not been chosen by the gods.” She pauses, looks around to be sure that there is no-one nearby, and lowers her voice anyway. “We are the gods, incarnate in mortal form.” 

There is a loud clatter as Jane slams a cake-tin down on the table. Heat rises from the finished cake. 

“This is _nonsense,”_ she snaps. “We don't know anything of the sort! That Baldur character was hardly a trusty sort!” 

“I concur with Madam Blueberry.” Terezi leans forward and taps the journal. “This evidence is not admissible. The witness is not sufficiently reliable.” 

Karkat takes a breath in, like he's about to start yelling. 

“Woah, horsey!” You wave to him. “She means on account've you bein' asleep at the time.” 

“Fuck you too!” Karkat makes an obscene gesture in your direction. “Look, who gives a shit what we are or aren't? What I want to know is why. If the world really is in danger-” He glances to Rose, “-then there isn't a crab's chance in a cookpot that us, this, is a coincidence. I want to know what we do to stop this shit.” 

“Not true,” says Dirk. “What we are is bound up in why. We can't decipher the meaning of our existence without finding out what the fuck it is anyway.” 

Gamzee blinks, slowly. “Shit, that ain't all up being kinds of complicated, my brother.” He taps his head with one long finger. “Meaning is all up and whispering its will, if you're all up for to listen.” He picks up his bottle, looks at it, then reaches out to Jane as she puts another cake on the table. “You all up and wanting a hit on this motherfucking miracle elixir, my wicked sister?” 

His hand closes around her wrist before you can say anything. Jane screams and hits Gamzee with the cake tin. 

“GAMZEE! LET HER GO, FUCKHEAD!” 

“GET OFF HER!” 

“JANEY!” 

You, John and Karkat all yell at once, and Gamzee's hand snaps open. Jane darts around the table, breathing heavily, and Dave rises, his hand hovering near his sword. 

“You keep away from me!” Jane grabs a wooden spoon and holds it out like a sword. Gamzee ignores her in favour of delicately picking crumbs off his tunic and popping them in his mouth. 

“Are you fucking drunk, completely insane, or just an asshole?” Dirk asks. Gamzee grins at him and holds up three fingers, wiggling them slightly. 

“OKAY!” you say, clapping your hands together. “There are like, a whole bunch of us, and not a whole load of time. We don't all gotta go to the same place.” 

Karkat looks sharply around. “We've already got some guys looking into the stuff in this journal. Trying to dig up old cult beetlecrap.” 

“Perhaps you should come to the Starspire with me,” says Rose. “The plan was to try and focus my visions; if we can focus yours as well we may have more success on the why.” 

Karkat nods, frowning. “Fine. I'll bite. Looks like this asshole of a god won't leave me alone anyway, so I might as well.” 

“But someone should find this Baldur,” Terezi says. “And much as I would like to accompany my favourite cherry friend, I think I would be best for the job.” 

“I'll go with her,” says Jane, at the same moment as John says; “I'll stay with Rose.” They stare at one another. 

“John...” says Jane. 

“We said we would help her,” says John. He looks at Rose. “I said I'd help you.” 

“I know,” says Rose. “But please, do not feel under any obligation. Both of these tasks are vitally important.” 

John looks back at his sister. They both look close to tears. 

“You know,” you say, as if the thought just occurred to you. “If Baldur's looking for people with marks like us, he's prob'ly looking for Jake and Jade, too.” 

“I can find them, John,” says Jane. Her own voice is wavering a little. “If you can see to our friends, I can find our family.” 

John stares at his feet, breathes deep, then looks up. “Okay. But we need a way to stay in contact.” 

“I'll look into it,” says Dirk. “I might know a guy.” He turns to Rose. “I figure Chuckles the clown here is gonna want to come with his buddy, so I'm with Jane and Terezi. Dave?” 

“With you, bro,” says Dave. Everybody looks at you and Kanaya. 

“I... should go with Terezi,” says Kanaya. “We may all need divine protection, and as Rose is with the other group I cannot leave you unguarded.” 

“Then I'll stick with my sis,” you say. A silence falls. You look back across the table at Gamzee. “We just have to listen, right?” 

He raises his bottle, a toast. “It's all being inside of you, sister. Just got to unlock it and _let it out!”_

He hurls the bottle and it smashes on the stone, spraying glass and dark alcohol everywhere. Everyone starts yelling. You look at them and, just for a moment, wonder what sort of gods this world really has. 

### Suggestions Used

_HUNRonin -_ John, Karkat and Roxy: showcase your amazing palhoncho skills. As they're therespective leaders of their groups in canon some badass commandering would be totally cool to see :) 

_Ailavyn_Siniyash -_ Karkat: Blame the results of the fire on yourself, profusely and scathingly 

_Musius -_ You just know that the moment anything goes wrong during the Porthaven and Drow groups meetup, Karkat's going to blame himself more than he should when he remembers that he told Rose where to find them. Shouldn't stop him from hating them too, though. And it shouldn't happen untill long after any fights. 

_Mort the Ghost -_ Young Pickpocket: Be named Olivia Twist. 

_pip -_ roxy: flirt outrageously with the drow boy 

_Ephemeral_Dreamer -_ John: feel strangely jealous while Roxy is flirting with someone else... 

_blastheart –_ Jane: Having arrived at someplace approximating civilization, indulge in cathartic baking like the very image of the Maid of Cake herself. Poor kid's been through the wringer lately and deserves something homelike. Espec- I mean, even if it spawns cake cultists. (If that last part counts as a second suggestion please disregard it.) 

_RubieDragon -_ Jane: have an urge to bake. 

_Musius -_ Gamzee: that deliciously sweet looking girl managed to knock YOU out? Why does that make her hotter?? 

_Deshah -_ Rose: Be extremely happy to see Kanaya, but refrain (barely) from kissing her in greeting. You're not that close. But you will be, if you have anything to say about it. 

_HUNRonin -_ Rose: Become flustered when you meet Kanaya for the first time. 

_ttd0000 –_ Rose: Feel strange longing for drow woman you've never met. 

_HUNRonin -_ Kanaya: Become flustered when you meet Rose for the first time. 

_Asuka Kureru_ – Dave: MEET TEREZI. 

_Sandi -_ Terezi: Use what you know from Karkat’s journal about the other godmarked to mess with them… and prove to them that there is fate afoot.  >:) 

_pip -_ gamzee: offer jane a hit off your wicked elixer 

_Elizabeth Culmer (edenfalling)_ \- Jane: use a cake as a weapon. 

_J-Rook -_ Dirk: ask Gamzee if he's drunk (you know, on top of being high on something and magically/divinely insane.) 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Big chapter full of characters is full of characters. Sorry to anyone hoping for a longer meetup- I gotta split these parties pronto in order to juggle the characters! Hopefully the new parties will offer opportunities for new interaction, and I plan to give them more opportunities for messages to one another...


	124. -- 617: choralHarbinger --

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Hero point votes:**  
>  Rose 1  
> Aradia 2  
> Karkat 1
> 
> ARADIA GAINS ONE HERO POINT!  
> Voting now open for the next Hero Point award: one person will get one after three chapters. 
> 
> **Current Hero Points:**  
>  John 3/5, Rose 1/5, ~~Dave 3/3,~~ Jade 2/3  
>  Karkat 3/5, Gamzee 2/3, Terezi 4/5  
> Sollux 2/3, Aradia 2/3, ~~Kanaya 5/5~~  
>  Jane 2/5, ~~Jake 5/5,~~ Roxy 2/3, ~~Dirk 3/3~~

A young TUATHA stands in her room. It’s well awesome you’re here; she’s, like, way down with this visitor thing. Not that she wasn’t way cool on her own or anything, but it’s, like, totally ace to have an audience. She wants to know if you’re, like, ready to have your mind blown.

[ ](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/n8mm9kit1a0zwsh/Helene%20Ulfhedinn.png?dl=0)

**== > Who’s this VACUOUS HIPPIE?**

You are now HELENE ULFHEDINN and where you live is, like, wicked inspirational. Living in a STONE WATCHTOWER on a mountain is, like, awesome because you get the most epic views all the time. When the weather gets bad you can just hunker down and do your own thing without anything harshing your vibe and sure, there aren’t many folks around, but that means no noise complaints, which is totally sweet! Besides, you ain’t gonna complain none about the lack of people when you’ve got the most awesome and coolest of all possible neighbours: DRAGONS!

Dragons are, like, your favourite thing ever. When you’re not trying to work out ways to get close to them without getting eaten for being annoying, you’re WRITING STORIES about girls who befriend dragons and end up riding them, or PAINTING PICTURES of them, or COMPOSING SONGS about them. Dragons are WICKED MAJESTIC and cool and you, like, totally wish you were one. That would be ace! Like, half the PUPPETS you own are dragon puppets, and you own even more puppets than you own INSTRUMENTS! Your friends think the puppets are, like, well creepy, even more than all the STAGE MASKS, but that’s just silly of them. You love all that old THEATRICAL STUFF and you’re an expert in so many forms of PERFORMANCE, it’s crazy bananas. Sometimes you put on puppet shows or one-woman plays just for the heck of it! It’s wicked fun!

The other thing you like to do is WRITE SONGS, and when they’re not about dragons you, like, totally dig writing about all kinds of REVOLUTIONS and junk. You think songs and stories about rebels and revolutionaries and heroic outlaws are, like, totally boss and you kinda wish there was someone oppressing you so you could RESIST THEM WITH ALL YOUR MIGHT! Instead you just have to settle for writing songs about really old resistances, like, really wicked ones full of BLOOD AND FIRE AND COURAGE and stuff. You wrote this one whole EPIC SONG CYCLE once about DRAGON-RIDING REBELS and it was so. Darned. Sweet. You sang it for, like, a week straight until you lost your voice. You were well bummed about that.

You have five good friends who you will soon play a game with. Out of all of them, CN is probably your BEST FRIEND. You’re, like, WRITING BUDDIES and you know she LOVES YOUR MUSIC, and even though she’s kinda tone-deaf you don’t want to break it to her because she’s, like, a total cutie. You usually talk up all kindsa wicked ETHICS DEBATING with WS, and you and DX have a trading thing going for both your COLLECTIONS because you can totally get her all kinds of WICKED AWESOME LOOT from ABANDONED DRAGON HORDES. You usually talk ADVENTURE with IN and that’s, like, awesome fun even if he is all down with his WEIRD SCI-FI STUFF. ST you try not to talk to too much. You don’t dig the FLIRTING and he won’t back off, the CREEPAZOID. It’s like he enjoys you handing him his butt or something.

You talk to your friends on the AETHERNET, using the spiritmark choralHarbinger [CH], i~n a spa~ce~d o~u~t bu~t lyri~ca~l ki~nda~ wa~y

[](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/iwo4ieyrs1vlon2/LOSAL%20Titled.png?dl=0)  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaand there we have it! The last of the eventual elves! Make of these six what you will.
> 
> As for relevance to the main story... well, the thing about players is that they are paradox clones of someone. So even though these six will not be a part of the LODAD story, you can bet your ass that at least some of their ancestors are important. ;)


	125. ==> Sollux: RUN!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Hero point votes:**  
>  Rose 1
> 
>  **Current Hero Points:**  
>  John 3/5, Rose 1/5, ~~Dave 3/3,~~ Jade 2/3  
>  Karkat 3/5, Gamzee 2/3, Terezi 4/5  
> Sollux 1/3, Aradia 2/3, ~~Kanaya 5/5~~  
>  Jane 2/5, ~~Jake 5/5,~~ Roxy 2/3, ~~Dirk 3/3~~

## ==> Sollux: RUN!!

There are days when you are absolutely, completely, one hundred per cent certain that your magically warped existence is ultimately doomed by its own freakishness. Standing frozen in a cave filled with sleeping familiars and the tarrasque is absolutely one of those times. You've never been tiefling enough to warrant a familiar of your own, but your dual nature has always left you a little too aware of their presence- and vice versa. Usually it's something you can ignore. Not so much when a wall of indestructible death is dozing right in front of you.

You hope you're long dead before the tiefling who gets _this_ for a guardian is hatched. Happily, odds are good that you will get your wish, since your present life expectancy can be measured in the snuffles of a sleepy world-eating monster.

“I think we should leave,” whispers Ursus, taking a step to angle himself between the tarrasque and the rest of you. “Quickly.”

“No,” you say, and then scowl, because that was not what you meant to say. But Henzar is walking forwards, past his mentor, following his own shaggy white bear of a familiar towards the monster. Beside you, Jade rests a hand on Bec's head. The wolf is growling softly, as if it knows you don't want to be overheard but still feels the need to warn off potential foes.

Henzar's familiar pads up to the sleeping pile of familiars, yawns a sharp-toothed yawn, and falls asleep. Henzar looks dazed. You can hear something, a faint susurrus of voices and a distant drum.

“What'th that?”

“What's what?” Jade's eyes are wide as she takes in the cave.

“That thound.” You walk up behind Henzar, looking for the source of the whispers. You see nothing but sleeping monsters.

“The secret to finding the city has to be here somewhere,” Sarona whispers, reverent.

“Henzar!” hisses Ursus. His apprentice ignores him. You close your eyes, trying to listen...

Bec makes a noise halfway between a growl and a whine. You hear Jade shushing him, but the hair on the back of your neck is prickling. You turn, looking for the cause. You find it perched atop the tarrasque.

The strangest thing isn't that it's a dragon, or that it's pure white. It's that it isn't the same kind of white as every other creature in the chamber. Everything else looks like a bleached version of what it should be, but the thing you are staring at looks more like a dragon-shaped hole in the material plane than an actual dragon. It flares its wings and jumps from the side of the tarrasque; you expect it to glide to the ground, but instead it flickers away in a flash of green light and reappears between you and the rest of your party. The air is crackling. You can taste magic.

You glance at Henzar, still entranced. It takes a few seconds wrestling with yourself to realise that it probably isn't worth the shit you'd get for not saving his butt. You reach over and elbow him in the ribs, hard. He shakes his head and blinks, then looks at you.

“What-”

You shake your head and point to the white dragon. It's facing away from you. Jade is walking towards it, her hand outstretched.

“How do I alwayth attract the crathy oneth?” you mutter, and start forwards, dragging Henzar with you in case he zones out again. Edging through a room full of sleeping bodies is tricky; you tread carefully, although you're not sure you have to. The air in here feels soporific, and there are spells tingling against your skin.

“Jade!” you hiss. Naturally, she doesn't listen.

“Hi there!” she says, and the dragon stretches towards her. Magic flares, and for a moment the world turns green. Then it falls away, and there is nothing.

No. Not nothing.

You haven't spent a great deal of time studying cosmology. Your access to books has been limited and you've always preferred spending it on the underpinnings of magic over the shape of the world. You don't know much beyond the basics everyone is aware of- the crystal sphere that encompasses the material plane along with the sun, moons and stars.

You know now that isn't true. A mind that is yours and not yours remembers in a lifetime you never lived. You remember planets, suns, the theory of faster-than-light travel...

The worst part is, you know you weren't that interested in cosmology then, either. Whenever then was, it was a time and place where everyone knew how the universe was put together. The universe that you are now seeing, from the outside. Data flows past faster than you can assimilate it, a code you could crack that describes things you don't understand, were never meant to understand.

Jade does.

Another flash of green and you're back in the cavern. The dragon is gone. Jade blinks, shakes her head, and starts to laugh hysterically. You break into a run because scrawny as you are, you are going to need that momentum to tackle her to the ground and slap a hand over her mouth.

Too late. A rumble is the only warning. You spin on the spot, almost falling, to see the tarrasque starting to stir.

“MOVE!” yells Ursus, and you all break into a scrambling run for the exit. All around you the familiars are starting to wake as well, and the piles of sleeping bodies start shifting. You grab Jade with your free hand and start dragging, Bec racing alongside you.

“I can't believe you woke the fucking tarrathque!” you yell, as she stumbles after you. “The fucking tarrathque!”

“I heard you the first time!” she yells back. “I didn't mean to!”

“I don't think it careth!”

You duck behind a pile of shifting familiars, get turned around, and pop out headed in the wrong direction. The rumble behind you is becoming a roar, and you are not the only ones who are going to die. For the first time, you're glad Aradia isn't here. You wish you weren't, really. Another false turn leads you back to almost the spot you started in, and you are really starting to wish that navigating a cavern that is rapidly becoming a stampede wasn't IMPOSSIBLE.

“Thith ithn't working!” you shout. “Even if we get to the exthit, thith thing will kill uth!”

“I have an idea!” yells Henzar, and starts off in a different direction. You all charge after him. Hanging about seems like a bad idea.

Sarona trips and squeals, scrolls scattering as she drops her satchel. She starts to reach for them and Ursus hauls her away. His bear barrels in front of you, bowling familiars aside, and you plow a path through them to the back of the cave where a shimmering barrier covers the mouth of a small cave.

“It takes magic to-” Henzar starts. You don't let him finish. The words rip from your mouth, a spell of force, and it blasts through the tissue-thin barrier and OH MY FUCKING GODS WHAT THE-

A flock of white... things bursts out of the recently dropped barrier and shoot past you, eyes staring blankly over huge noses. You throw your arms up to protect your face as they burst past, but none of them hit you. You spin to watch them go and wish you hadn't.

“Tiny... flying... bullth?”

You all stare as the herd-flock scatters across the cavern. Glittering dust falls from their fluttering insect wings, and everywhere it falls familiars stop, sit down, and go back to sleep. A good dozen of them start circling the tarrasque, and you see the monster slowly, ponderously sink back down to the ground.

You hear Sarona sigh in relief, but you can't shake the feeling that something bad is about to happen. You're proven right when the flying bulls turn and start to swoop back towards you, still scattering sleeping dust. You have no real idea how hard that stuff is to resist, but if it works on legendary monsters...

“GET IN THE CAVE!” you yell, and dive past everyone else to get there first because fuck noble self-sacrifice, that shit gets you killed. Everyone else squeezes in behind you, Jade last, and the moment she passes the threshold the shield springs back up. The first few bulls hit it and crumple to the ground; the rest stop and hover, staring at you in a manner that is simultaneously adorable and creepy as shit.

“What the fuck?” you say, to no-one in particular. “No, really, what the _fuck!?_ What the hell ith going on down here? Why ith there a tarrathque? A familiar thumber party? _A flock of flying mini-bullth?”_

You look to Jade for support only to find her pale and shaking. Great. Just great.

“You said there was a way out?” asks Ursus.

“Here.” Henzar steps up onto a dais at the far side of the small cave, one hand stretching to a plinth. “Arctus told me before he went to sleep. It's the last message they give us, the way to-”

He touches the top of the plinth. Magic surges, and he's gone.

“Henzar!” Sarona runs up and touches the plinth herself. Nothing happens.

“Is it broken?” Ursus asks.

“More likely tiefling thpethific,” you tell him. You look back out of the force field. Beyond the shimmering spell and the hovering fairy bulls, you can see one last familiar falling. It looks like a giant white bee, and for a moment, you think it catches your gaze.

If you're being truthful, the thing you always secretly loved most about Aradia was that she didn't have a familiar either. The thing you hated most was that she did, once. That she had been chosen, been cared for, been protected, if only for a time. That she understood what it was like to be alone. Elves have other elves to look after them, raise them, teach them who they are but tieflings? Tieflings have a familiar, and they raise themselves.

You're not either, but maybe... just maybe... you're close enough.

“I think we can thpoof it,” you say. “Everyone hang on.”

Jade takes your hand, and Sarona takes hers. Ursus hangs on to the end of the line. Bec and Ursus's bear press close to you, and you take a deep breath before reaching for the pillar. You reach into the well of magic inside you, and speak the words that you know will muddy the waters, just a little. You have to push more power into the spell and you hope to fuck you're right, that the teleportation effect is stronger than the one that discerns species.

Or maybe you don't hope. Because there is a part of you that knows how the universe looks from the outside, and if there is one thing that part of you can do, it's unpick a program. There is a burst of nothingness that comes from inside you, and you slam your hand onto the pillar.

The world drops away and you are moving, faster than the air, fast as light. You think of the bee, and what could have been, and then you are landing with a crash in the dark. Five other forms fall around you, and you know you've all made it.

A metal pole drops into your vision, and you look up into the face of a scarred, angry-looking tiefling in the strangest armour you have ever seen. It's not unlike a knight's full plate, but sleek and matte and bluer than dyed cloth. The tiefling sneers down at you and you realise that you have just quit the frying pan in favour of the fire.

“I don't know how you did it,” says the guard, as more of his fellows come into view. “But welcome to New Alternia, worm.”

### Suggestions Used

 _ttd0000 -_ Jade; Meet the First Guardian, learn truth of your existence, freak out.

 _will408914 -_ Jade's Party: Run around in a Scooby-Doo-esque chase scene.

 _Darwen Gwein -_ Sollux: FUS the ROH out of any DAH-m ancient spells that stand between you and-- oh jegus WHAT IS THIS CUDDLY MONSTER?

 _HowlingArmadillo -_ Tavros: Soothe the savage beast.

 _Darwin G'wein -_ Lord of the Bronze Moon: Help the little guys out with a stampede to get rid of their enemies. Then stop the herd right... about... Ooh, a bot just challenged you to a game of Fiduspawn! Brb

 _OwlFlight -_ Sollux - > Meet your Lusus-equivalent.

 _1JakoftheMoon1 -_ Heroes: Highjack magical villainous teleporter for tactical advantages and possible shenanigans!

 _edenfalling -_ Somebody: Visit the mysterious city of the Tieflings. Preferably unintentionally, which could mean either stumbling across it by accident or being kidnapped and taken there.

 _ttd0000 -_ Any Group: Discover hidden tiefling city.

### System Notes

Sollux spends 1 hero point to spoof the teleporter. 1/3 remaining.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HELLO HIDDEN TIEFLING CITY!!! Seriously, was anyone expecting it to be a nice place? And as I am sure is evident, I do like writing my heroes trapped in not-nice places from which they must escape, daringly...


	126. ==> Aradia: Beach Episode!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Hero point votes:**  
>  Rose 3  
> Sollux 2  
> Jane 1
> 
>  **Current Hero Points:**  
>  John 3/5, Rose 1/5, Dave 3/3, Jade 2/3  
> Karkat 3/5, Gamzee 2/3, Terezi 4/5  
> Sollux 1/3, Aradia 2/3, Kanaya 5/5  
> Jane 2/5, Jake 5/5, Roxy 2/3, Dirk 3/3

## ==> Aradia: Beach Episode!

Tieflings are not meant for sunshine. It is an uncomfortable warmth that wakes you; your skin feels as if it's slowly cooking, and there's sand in your mouth. You sit up, spitting out grit, and squint across a sparkling expanse of light that slowly resolves into an ocean. You're sitting on a beach, right at the edge of the high tide line. The sea is a good hundred yards away and the collection of seaweed and broken shells you're lying on are dry, as are you. It's a good thing a life spent as an adventurer has given you a high tolerance for being uncomfortable because there is salt in your everything right now.

Nearby, some flotsam groans. You look over to see Jake coughing up water and decide that dwarf-raised elf boys aren't meant for sunshine, either. He's turned a nice shade of lobster red while you were out.

“Hi,” you say. Your voice sounds funny to you. He looks up and stares at you, wide-eyed, then squints.

“Hi,” he says, and you break down into giggles. He sounds as strange as you do, hoarse and quiet, and he looks ridiculous in the remains of Eridan's stupid outfit and a collection of gold jewellery. If you make it back to civilisation, at least you won't be strapped for cash.

“Oh, very nice.” He breaks off and coughs up some more ocean. “Jolly sporting of you, kicking a chap while he's down.”

“But don't you see?” You wave your hands out, encompassing the beach. “We're alive, Jake! Alive and not underwater and look at this place! I bet there's mysteries and adventures everywhere here.”

He looks around and takes in what you're already seen- the long deserted stretch of the beach, the swaying trees at the edge of the sand, the distant rise of a cliff from within a deep carpet of green.

He turns back and shrugs.

“Well, it's a humdinger and no mistake. I suppose our demipiscine escorts dropped us off here on the Ancient One's advice?”

You scramble to your feet, brushing off sand. “I think this is where we needed to go, the island in the south-east. Feferi's priestesses thought that Gold to Silver probably meant we should go to Arian Palas, but the Land of Mysteries is a bit big for an island. This was the only place on the way, but I don't know why we needed to come here.”

He accepts your hand, letting you haul him upright.

“Thank you,” he says.

“You're welcome!” You turn and start towards the tree line. Jake grabs your hand, stopping you.

“Really, thank you.” His smile looks battered. “For coming after me. I don't think I- well, you know. A chap can have a bit too much adventure and excitement.”

You study him a little more carefully. He's a mess, of course, but there are dark circles under his eyes and a haunted look to him that sets alarm bells clanging. If he was Sollux, this would be easy. You would distract him with a question to get him lecturing then hug him when he least expected it. You suspect if you tried the same on Jake he would bolt.

“Jake,” you say, with all the seriousness you can muster. “There is no such thing as too much adventure, only the wrong sort.”

He blinks at you, then a small smile creeps onto his face. “Heh. I can live with that, as long as we find a quieter sort of adventure for a while.”

“The quietest,” you promise, before heading out across the beach again. The two of you walk for a while, nothing but the wind and the sea and the call of distant gulls to break the silence.

“Are your dwarf weapons okay?” you ask. Jake startles, then pats the stained leather holsters that sit snug against him.

“Absolutely buggered,” he says, glumly. “It'll take more than a good sit-down by a campfire to clean them out now, assuming they haven't warped or rusted, and the powder's bloody ruined. I could fix it if we had a week or two in an alchemist's lab...”

“... but we're not likely to,” you finish for him. You sigh. “I'm sorry. I know how much they meant to you.”

Jake shrugs, a little stiffly. “Not as much as some clean water would, right now.” He smacks his lips, and you have to admit you could use a drink yourself. Feferi's magic seems to have protected you from the worst side effects of your extended dunk in the ocean, but it's a hot day and you're thirsty. For Jake, crusted white with salt and still a little pruney, it must be torture.

“There has to be something,” you say. “If we follow the tree-line and the shore we should be able to find a river or stream. Eventually.”

Jake considers this. “Well, needs must, I suppose.”

There is another long pause, during which you make it to the edge of the beach. You change direction to walk along the line of the shore, just inside the shade of the trees. Jake joins you. Long, sharp grasses lash at your legs with every step, but it is slightly cooler and less bright.

“So what do you think?”

“About what?” you ask.

“You know. Us. This.” Jake rubs his arm, where the abyssal tattoo is still shifting on his skin. “The Ancient One said that fate was on our side, but not our ally. I keep thinking about our marks. I mean, it's jolly easy not to think of, growing up with them and all, but... we're not normal. None of us are.”

You brush your fingers across your lower back. Perhaps you just imagine that your mark feels warmer.

“I think our destiny is finally catching up to us,” you say.

Jake shudders. “I don't know that I want to think of having one of those.”

“What? A destiny?” You laugh. “You know, it's funny, I'd almost given up on it. I mean, it's obvious really, that we were meant for some purpose or reason, but it's never really felt that way.” You look away from him, into the trees. “Me and Sollux, our marks were never anything but trouble to us. I'm just glad there was a reason for that.”

“I'm not.” Jake scowls at the ocean. “I was quite happy ignoring it, thank you very much, and now... it doesn't make sense. Why would the Page of Hope choose me? I'm hardly an expert but he's supposed to be... courageous, isn't he? And likeable, and an all-round gung-ho go-getter of a chap. God.”

“You are courageous!” you say. “You jumped on a sea serpent to save us! What's that if not brave? And I like you.” You kick at the sand. “I don't really know anything about the Maid of Time, except that she's supposed to be the bringer of death. That all sounds so grim! I don't feel grim.”

“You can be jolly scary, though,” says Jake. “When you want to be, I mean.”

“Aww, thanks!” You lean over and plant a small kiss on Jake's cheek, and almost get hit in the face by a leaf the size of your forearm for the trouble. “You know, this could be fun. Just think! We get to change the fate of the world!”

“I could do without the responsibility, honestly.” Jake looks sick again. Not sure what to do, you turn away... and that's when you see it.

“Jake! Water!”

The two of you run forward to where the small dribble of water runs down from the roots of a tree to the sand. Following it back you find a small stream burbling over rocks, dropping to the beach from the eroded edge of the soil. Jake doesn't even wait to check for danger; he throws himself face-first towards the water, scooping it up with both hands and alternating drinking with splashing his face. Since nothing eats him, you start to do the same. It's amazing how much more like yourself you feel after a bit of a wash and something to drink.

You look up at the sky and see that the sun is getting low. The first few stars are already out. “We should think about making camp for the night.”

Jake looks into the dark forest and nods. “Sounds fair. Maybe we can find some food tomorrow?”

“Bet I can hunt better than you!”

“Well, you have magic and I have no guns,” Jake says. “No bet.”

The stuff in your packs is still damp, so you hang it from the trees to dry out while you search the area for firewood. It doesn't take long, and while you get a roaring fire going Jake pulls some accoutrements out and starts to tidy himself up. You hadn't realised quite how bedraggled and shaggy he was looking until he trims his hair and washes up.

“There!” He pulls back from the stream and grins at you. “A proper gentleman is always decently turned out. Shame there's nothing to be done about this.” He plucks at the water-stained silk he's wearing, nose wrinkled.

“Maybe there is.” You fish in your pack and pull out a small sewing kit. You carry it for patching up tears and sword-holes, but... “It's warm here, and with all those sashes and vests and things you don't need a shirt. Maybe we can fix up the trousers?”

His face lights up. “Worth a shot!”

“I don't know, maybe you could become a clown dressed like that? Or something else.” You wiggle your eyebrows at him.

Jake flushes, and nods towards the small stack of rations sitting by your pack. “Anything edible?”

“Not really.” You sigh. “The paper is waxed, but it wasn't really meant to stand up to a swim.”

“Hmm.” Jake hefts one of the ruined rations. “Maybe we can use it as bait?”

“Oh, good idea!” You clap your hands, and then your face falls. “But I don't have a fish-hook.”

“Me neither.” Jake frowns, then grabs one of the longer sticks from the firewood pile. “We can make a spear!”

“Do you want to sew, or fish?” You hold out the needle and thread to him, an offering. “I can fish, but I only really know how to patch up holes.”

“Well, last time I tried to use a needle I stabbed myself,” says Jake, cheerily. “I'll tackle the fish.”

Between the two of you and a dagger you find in Jake's pack, you manage to whittle a decent fish spear. You insist on handling the knife- if he can stab himself with a needle, he can stab himself with this! When you're done he surrenders his trousers and scurries off to fish while you wrestle with them.

Sewing is not as simple as Kanaya made it look. You curse and splutter and eventually lose patience with the material, which is still damp and salty and doesn't seem to want to let a needle through. The fact that you're working by fire and moonlight only makes the pounding in your head worse, not better. You lose patience and throw the wreck of the garment down at about the same time as an empty-handed Jake comes slouching back into camp.

“Well, you gave it a go,” he says, dropping the spear and putting the trousers back on. Under the blue light of Rukbat he looks ethereal, and not bad on the eyes. You're glad you suggested losing the awful shirt. Even though you'll have to cover that tattoo again, he looks good in a small vest and bandoleers. His arms are rounded with muscle, the sort that comes from being active, and you can tell that he'd feel firm and warm if you snuggled up to him. Not like Sollux and his bony ribs.

You are struck by a pang of what might in someone else have been homesickness, and you sigh heavily.

“Here.” Jake drops down beside you and holds something out. A bottle. “The seal on this is damned good, and even if it isn't, I promise you won't notice the seawater.”

You take it and squint at the label. “Dragon Punch Whiskey? I've heard of this. It's illegal to serve to halflings in the Adventurer's Quarter.”

“We're not halflings, and we're not in the Adventurer's Quarter.” Jake takes the bottle back and opens it, taking a deep swig before passing it back. While you take a drink, he pulls down a mostly-dry blanket and drapes it over you, before grabbing one of his own. You're glad. It's been getting colder out here. The whiskey burns hot on the way down, and you pass it back to Jake with a gasp.

The two of you don't talk for a while, just steadily drink your way down the bottle. It's a stupid plan- someone should stay on watch, you don't know if you're safe here, you shouldn't be drunk for it- but you know neither of you is really up to being responsible right now.

You wish Sollux was here.

Jake is already drunk and half-asleep by the time you cuddle up to him. He just drapes an arm around you and mutters something inaudible. He feels as different as you had imagined, but it's good just to be held. To know you're alive and okay and not alone. Sollux would hate this, really- sand and wilderness and roughing it, he never liked that stuff. Jake's jumpy after everything, but it's a relief to be out here with someone who doesn't mind getting twigs in their hair and sand in their boots.

You still miss your friends. It's like a toothache that you can't help prodding.

With a sigh you roll your head, staring out past the trees across the ocean. Rukbat is reflected huge in the sea, the large blue moon full tonight. You close your eyes and breathe in salt, smoke, and Jake.

You dream, nightmares that are loud and confusing and full of fish with sharp teeth and dark shadows at your back. Sollux screams and reaches out to you before falling. His corpse accuses you with empty eyes, fingers reaching towards you, fangs gleaming. You toss and turn and at times find yourself clinging to Jake. As an elf he's still and silent in trance; he could be having sweet dreams or terrible nightmares, and there's no way for you to be sure. To you he's an anchor, something to cling to each time you surface.

One dream is different, though. You think you've awoken, but the world is bathed in blue, and there is someone in your camp. You watch them hazily and without alarm as they trot over, hooves marking the soil and sand. They pause beside you and ask a question in a language you do not speak.

 **“I am certain,”** says a strong voice, one that stirs a ghost of a memory within you. One of hatred and passion, and revolt and desire. **“And it does not behoove a follower to question their God.”**

Long, furred legs knees, and elf-like hands place a bundle on the sand. You look past your lashes to see a creature that is half-elf, half-horse silhouetted against the moon, before it turns and trots away. You close your eyes and return again to nightmares.

It is only the next morning, when Jake wakes you with a shout and you find him holding two new dwarven-style “guns”, that you realise it was not a dream at all.

### System Notes

 _Making a spear: DC15 Survival_  
Jake's aid another survival check = 18  
Aradia's survival check = 20 + 2 = 22  
ARADIA MANAGES TO MAKE A FISH SPEAR WITH JAKE'S HELP. AND HIS DAGGER.

 _Fishing for dinner with a spear and bair: DC15 Survival_  
Jake's survival check = 11  
JAKE DOES NOT CATCH A FISH.

 _Making something better out of Eridan's hideous trousers: DC20 Craft (Apparel)_  
Aradia's craft check = 8  
ARADIA SORTA MAKES THE TROUSERS WORSE.

### Suggestions Used

 _Kimiko_Saito -_ Someone: Comment on Jakes state of dress, and wiggle your eyebrows as you do.

 _AndIMustMask -_ suggestion for the story: Beach episode (well okay /lake/ episode because you're not near the coast but there's still a beach ringing it so whatever)! encounter someone helpful but completely unexpected.

 _ttd0000 -_ Aradia: It seems that Jake isn't as good at keeping the nightmares at bay as Sollux but, any port in a storm. Cuddle up to him anyway.

 _BlitzMentalist -_ Equius: Ruminate over sending aid to our heroes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hero point votes are really up this round! Which is nice. Keep it up, guys! :)
> 
> I hope this chapter was enough of a beach episode. I saw it as a chance for the characters to catch their breath, and also as a bonding moment for Jake and Aradia. Their normally scheduled Adventure! will resume in short order. ;)
> 
> Thank you to everyone who reviewed last chapter- there were a lot of you, and it was great seeing all your comments. The dragon as first guardian seemed like a popular move, which I'm glad to hear, since I'm stuck with it now!
> 
> EDIT: 29/10/2015  
> Hi guys. Following the discovery that stress can and in fact has caused me physical pain, I have decided that the next update will be filler. [See here](http://celynbrum.tumblr.com/post/132154552035/lodad-announcement) for a longer explanation.
> 
> Sorry about the change of plans, and we will be resuming your regularly scheduled LODAD chapters once I can again turn my head quickly without yelling "OW! FUCK!"


	127. -- LETTERS RECEIVED --

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Hero point votes:**  
>  Rose 4  
> Sollux 2  
> Jane 1  
> Jade 1  
> Aradia 1
> 
>  **Current Hero Points:**  
>  John 3/5, Rose 1/5, ~~Dave 3/3,~~ Jade 2/3  
>  Karkat 3/5, Gamzee 2/3, Terezi 4/5  
> Sollux 1/3, Aradia 2/3, ~~Kanaya 5/5~~  
>  Jane 2/5, ~~Jake 5/5,~~ Roxy 2/3, ~~Dirk 3/3~~

_A report filed at the Alftor Adventurer's Guild:_

> Following the Guildmaster's “suggestion”, we proceeded to the Starspire peak, which took twice as fucking long as it should have done because no-one has cleared out the bandits on the road for months. We will be claiming per head as bounty notices, attached.
> 
> Upon arrival at the base of the mountain we found the town of Pilgrim's Vigil packed out with whining pansies who had been denied entry to the holy sanctum for weeks. We attempted to gain entry through official channels and were rebuffed by the gate guards. We responded to their rebuffal with pointed debate after which we obtained access to the mountain path.
> 
> It was at this point my colleagues and I decided to split up to get more angles of approach. My own way was free of obstruction, but my associate Master Deuce was forced to roast some over-enthusiastic guards. We were reunited at the top and met by some stiff stuffed-cowl cleric who fed us a line about the mystics being deep in meditation.
> 
> We smelled a rat, so we elected to press on into the upper temple. We met with heavy resistance but were able to ascertain that the sanctum appeared empty before we were forced to retreat. If it were not for the efforts of Masters Droog and Boxcars, we would have been shafted with a rusty polearm.
> 
> With all the new friends we had made at Starspire we thought it best to make a hasty retreat. We spent the next three weeks meandering through the Stoneshields, chased by a bunch of mad fuckers with more magic bullshit than I ever wanted to deal with, before we managed to kill the lot of them. Attached is one of the sigils of Light that they were wearing. Get one of your damn brains to figure this out because I sure as hells won't.
> 
> You're out of favours and I retired for a reason, asshole. Next time send some other sucker.
> 
> Douglas, Member #617

  
_A torn missive carried by Phooka caravan to the Prince of Kalvik:_

> …amongst the Porthaven refugees. By the time we discovered them the infestation was too deep; we have no way to know who...
> 
> _(The parchment here is burned and unreadable)_
> 
> ...with heavy heart to seal the city rather than risk this curse spreading. But I must send this warning for we do not know that other cities will do the same. Beware travellers from the Stormwrack Coast, my lords, for we cannot know their innocence.
> 
> Blessings of the heavens be with us all,
> 
> Lord Loren of Skyrock

  
_A personal note delivered to the Council of Ghosts, in the Haunted Isles:_

> Sumthins up wiv the ships frum the east. Seyn a lot of um wiv weerd huls an no flags. Tryd to rayd wun to days agow an neer got sunk to the hels. Sum kind a weerd pooka wareyor cleryx sayd they wuz the Brovers ov Blakrok. Semed to bee gardin the reglar fokes.
> 
> Wer gowin to nede mor fiyrpowar.
> 
> Captin Blodeys ov the Karyon Krow

  
_A letter sent by temple courier to her eminence Archmage Taluto of the Arcane College:_

> My dear friend,
> 
> I regret to inform you that the Church of Heart will be recalling all of our Holy Blades from their current postings, including those stationed on your august isle. I must also request the return of all sacred artefacts our institution has lent your university for study, and ask that if you have any other articles you can part with that may be of military use you consider loaning them to us.
> 
> As old comrades, I owe you explanation. Perhaps you have heard of the disturbing news coming from the Stormwrack Coast, but you may not be aware that the dwarf clans of the Dragonshard mountains have also fallen silent, or that merchant ships from Madianzi have not been seen in months. With the Oracle of Light missing and the Starspire silent, it is plain that a great shadow has been cast across the world. Our scriers and diviners tell us this darkness is carried by the unnatural animation of dead flesh, which as followers of the Prince we are bound by faith, duty and charter to destroy.
> 
> We have not reached this decision without much prayer and deliberation. The last holy march of a Church upon these shores has not been forgotten, even if the ancient pantheon of the Aelfen exists only as superstition and local custom now. Once made, though, this decision cannot be denied. The spread of this vile plague is swift and we must strike the swifter if we are to stop it. Should any of the faithful wish to journey south with our Blades we would welcome their aid.
> 
> The will of the heavens is unclear, but the orders of our god are not. The Church of Heart shall march to war.
> 
> I remain your faithful friend,
> 
> Adelbard Holm, First Paladin of the Prince  
> 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's about time I let you know a little more of what's going on in the world... all these characters and I still can't maneuver them into position to show off how bad things are getting! More fool me.
> 
> Next week we return to your regularly scheduled filler and I will reassess my writing status, as by then a number of my extra stressors will be handled. Hopefully. :/
> 
> Thank you to everyone who's sent me messages and been supportive about this. I knew my readers were awesome. :)


	128. -- ELVEN SUBTYPE: TUATHA --

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Hero point votes:**  
>  Rose 4  
> Sollux 3  
> Jane 1  
> Jade 1  
> Aradia 1
> 
> ROSE GAINS ONE HERO POINT!  
> Voting now open for the next Hero Point award: one person will get one after three chapters. 
> 
> **Current Hero Points:**  
>  John 3/5, Rose 2/5, ~~Dave 3/3,~~ Jade 2/3  
>  Karkat 3/5, Gamzee 2/3, Terezi 4/5  
> Sollux 1/3, Aradia 2/3, ~~Kanaya 5/5~~  
>  Jane 2/5, ~~Jake 5/5,~~ Roxy 2/3, ~~Dirk 3/3~~

## TUATHA

Also known as High Elves, the Tuatha are elves hatched by magic from the Plane of Air. Quick and mercurial, they are known for their adventurous spirits and good humour, but when provoked they can be tempestuous. Magically powerful and physically frail, they often become rogues or wizards.

_• +2 Dexterity, +2 Intelligence, –2 Constitution:_ Tuatha are nimble in body and mind, but their form is frail.  
_• Medium:_ Tuatha are Medium creatures and have no bonuses or penalties due to their size.  
_• Normal Speed:_ Tuatha have a base speed of 30 feet.  
_• Low-Light Vision:_ Tuatha can see twice as far as normal in conditions of dim light (see low-light vision).  
_• Elven Immunities:_ Tuatha are immune to magic sleep effects and get a +2 racial saving throw bonus against enchantment spells and effects.  
_• Elven Magic:_ Tuatha receive a +2 racial bonus on caster level checks made to overcome spell resistance. In addition, tuatha receive a +2 racial bonus on Spellcraft skill checks made to identify the properties of magic items.  
_• Keen Senses:_ Tuatha receive a +2 racial bonus on Perception skill checks.  
_• Weapon Familiarity:_ Tuatha are proficient with longbows (including composite longbows), longswords, rapiers, and shortbows (including composite shortbows), and treat any weapon with the word “elven” in its name as a martial weapon.  
_• Languages:_ Tuatha begin play speaking Common and High Elven. Tuatha with high Intelligence scores can choose from the following: Celestial, Draconic, Gnoll, Gnome, Goblin, Orc, and Sylvan.

Appearance  
Tuatha vary from pale to dark brown in complexion, with hair that goes from blue and purple through to black. They have large, vibrantly-coloured irises in every colour and shade imaginable. Tuatha are usually quite bony in their youth, but as they get older they may put on weight and many run to fat. Any muscle they do build tends to be of the lithe, wiry sort.

Society  
Tuatha are the explorers, the frontiersmen and often invaders of any land they can travel to. As a result they can be found all over the world in settlements that vary in size from lone farmsteads and charcoal huts to vast sprawling cities. Even in areas where they are relatively few in number Tuatha sailors, merchants and mercenaries are a common sight. East of the Celestial Sea this has garnered them a reputation as bravos and ne'er-do-wells, a reputation fuelled by Tuatha adventurers and missionaries who brave the long sea voyage in search of new horizons.

The core of Tuatha society and culture lives on Madianzi, the northernmost of the Twins, the double landmasses south of the Pirate Straits. There they worship the Rulers of Heaven, a pantheon of four, and live in and around spire-cities bedecked in banners and pennants and tall enough to touch the clouds. The second most populous Tuatha societies can be found along the Aasimar-influenced Stormwrack Coast on the Continent of Light, in what centuries ago was Aelfen territory. These Tuatha worship the Pantheon of Light and live as Aasimar do, in cities of stone and wood. In these lands, twisting networks of ancient streets prove every bit as treacherous as the wilderness beyond.

For most Tuatha, extended families are the norm. Most would choose to hatch their own eggs and raise them; the distinction between guardian and ancestor is often hazy, and most Tuatha use the combined term “parent”. In addition to friends and family, most Tuatha owe allegiance to a guild, temple, nation or other group whom they choose to join on reaching adult majority. Friends are every bit as important to them as relations, and despite their natural inclination to flippancy, they are loyal- if unpredictable- allies.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For anyone wondering about all these elven subspecies and how they work- meet the new filler chapter series!
> 
> Eventually these filler chapters are gonna form their own sourcebook, enabling someone to play D&D in the LODAD setting. Perhaps. It'd be cool though!
> 
> (A friend of mine actually did make an Inquisitor following the Seer of Mind and their DM allowed it.)


	129. ==> Dirk: Talk To The Voice In Your Head

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Hero point votes:**  
>  Sollux 1
> 
>  **Current Hero Points:**  
>  John 3/5, Rose 2/5, ~~Dave 3/3,~~ Jade 2/3  
>  Karkat 3/5, Gamzee 2/3, Terezi 4/5  
> Sollux 1/3, Aradia 2/3, ~~Kanaya 5/5~~  
>  Jane 2/5, ~~Jake 5/5,~~ Roxy 2/3, ~~Dirk 3/3~~

## ==> Dirk: Talk To The Voice In Your Head

“...hey yo, gotta go, a hero's gotta fly; so they rode that dragon to the deep blue sky. And the evil of the mask was put to an end by the skill and the will of a true-blue friend.”

You finish your improvisational epic and nod to your audience as a stoic finale. Kanaya applauds. Jane looks like she wants to.

"Thank you, Mister Carrotpeel," says Terezi. She waves a stick in the air, still smouldering where she pulled it from the campfire. The wind snatches the smoke and drags it away. "Most informative, and I liked the gestures."

"The gestures are part of the theatre," you say. "Like a wizard getting down and dirty with the fundamental arcane underpinnings of our reality, an artist's gotta move to make his art."

"Still not much to go on," says Dave. "Baldur blew outta there like a bad smell, and he spent more time talking about our grand chump destiny than his own plans."

"Well-"

"Hardly-"

Jane and Terezi speak at once, pause, and look at one another. You can't help but be curious how this will play out. Jane's a good friend, which is how you know she's as hard-headed as a mule in a steel helmet. Terezi you've barely met, but she's clearly her own kind of tenacious.

You are not disappointed by Terezi's toothy grin. "By all means, Warden. I am new to the surface, after all."

"Oh, no, be my guest," says Jane, ever the hapless victim of small pleasantries. "I'm curious as to drow investigative techniques."

Terezi inclines her head, just a little. "Very well. The most logical place to start, as my esteemed colleague was no doubt about to say, is the last place our suspect was seen."

"Person of interest," says Jane.

"Not according to Golgesi law," says Terezi. "Everyone is a suspect until cleared by interrogators."

Behind your mask you raise a brow. "That happen often?"

Her grin grows, a toothy split in her head. "No, it does not, my aromatic acolyte."

Oh, you like this woman. You don't trust her a damned inch, but you could wreak some impressive havoc with her. If she didn't arrest you first. You doubt she would find her present lack of legally derived authority much impediment to that.

"We could also question known associates," says Jane, with a small smile.

"I am confused," says Kanaya. "What associates do we know of?"

"Yeah, he wasn't exactly sharing the names of his drinking buddies," Dave adds.

Terezi laughs- cackles, really- and claps Jane on the shoulder. "Oh, good thought! Because we do know some of this Baldur's associates... us!"

You grasp the gist pretty quick. "You want to pool what we know, see if we can figure out his next move."

"That, and it's possible someone has a... god-power of finding people?" Jane winces. "Gosh, that sounds utterly preposterous when I put it like that."

"Nah, I like it," says Dave. "Maybe it's mine. I do have this supernatural ability to locate smokin' hot bitches." He tips his head to Terezi and Jane. "How ya doin'?"

Terezi's tongue darts out, for all the world like a snake's. "Excellent."

Either Dave's bluff face has improved or he has no idea how deep over his head he is. The fact that you genuinely don't know which is worrying. The pair of you have never worn your hearts on your sleeves, but Dave... Dave isn't you.

“Perhaps this is best left until morning,” says Kanaya. “It is late. We all need rest.”

“I call first watch,” you say, before Dave can.

“Second,” says Jane, a fraction of a second behind you. Everyone else calls their turns and then slopes off to bed; fortunately you and Dave have a couple of small tents stashed that you could lend out, and Kanaya came prepared, so you don't have to fit anyone extra in the caravan. Maplehoof looks up sleepily as Dave climbs the steps, then lowers her head to snooze again. You start a slow walk around the camp area, looking out across the hilly plains and sparse trees. The fire stretches long shadows in front of you and the grass bows in the wind. You're pretty sure the hills are funnelling it, making it stronger. It whistles in the night.

You take a moment to glance around and make sure you're alone before you begin. That drow, Gamzee, was a crazy asshole... but then, that seems to fit perfectly with what you know of the Bard of Rage. What was it he said? _Meaning is all up and whispering its will, if you're all up for to listen._

You start listening.

Well, hello there Dirk. Long time no see.

_Shut u-_ You cut off the instinctive thought before it can complete. _Right, I'm listening. One-time only deal, now open for business. How about you fill me in, since you always have the answers?_

There is a very long silence. Too long. You wish you'd known this question was that powerful years ago.

Fill you in? I am you. What do you expect me to know that you don't?

_Quit prevaricating. You always have something to say; now's your chance to say it. Tell me what I know._

There's a feeling very much like laughter in your skull. It's not a pleasant sensation.

Well, you know this is some weird shit. Normal people don't converse with their own subconscious. And you're wondering if that's really what I am or if this is some leftover god power, but you know that's not the right question.

_Okay, fine. Can I trust you?_

Fuck, no. You never could trust yourself. And that's the problem, Dirk. You've always known exactly who and what you are, but your source is just too unreliable to believe.

_I don't know shit. If I did, I wouldn't be asking you._

Gamzee had it easy, you know. He just had to stop fighting to figure it out. Benefits of a passive class, the lucky fuck.

_What?_

You want to know yourself, dude? I got some bad fucking news for you.

“You seem concerned.”

You jump a couple of inches in the air, snapped back to the reality of the cold night. Terezi is standing just to your left, frowning slightly.

“Nah, I'm good,” you say. Make like it never happened and it never did, that's your motto. Unfortunately, the wind has other plans; a playful breeze whooshes past and, with the sort of timing that has to be some asshole's fault, snatches your mask up and off your face.

“Shit!” You turn and give chase, trying to catch it before it lands in the embers of the fire. A dark hand snatches it up before you can reach it, and Terezi holds it out to you. You fight the urge to cover your face and tell yourself that no, you are not naked without it.

“Thanks,” you say, taking it and pressing it against your face. The ties flutter in the stiff breeze still blowing through camp. “Hope everyone got their tent pegged down. Would be a fuckin' riot to chase them across the plains in the middle of the night.”

Terezi chuckles. “Ah, another surface-dweller experience to hope for. Perhaps I shall have to remove some pegs.”

“Right, no wind underground.” You spend a moment dawdling, looking out into the dark, tying your mask on, getting your night vision back after looking at the glowing embers of the fire. “So, what brings you out here? You're on last watch.”

“And you are on first watch, not introspection duty,” says Terezi. She snickers. “You have pretty eyes, aasimar. Very easy to read. You should cover them less.”

“Fuck off,” you say, but without heat. You can see her point. “You knew?”

She shrugs. “Gamzee made that suggestion to you, not everyone. He is very good at manipulating people and as for you... we wear armour to cover what makes us vulnerable.”

You don't know whether to be impressed or terrified. You settle for both.

“Concealing my vulnerabilities by highlighting my weak spot is an ironic statement that I am rocking,” you say, seemingly to the darkness. “And not all masks are this obvious. Yours, for instance.”

“Ooh, I like you, surfacer.” Terezi snickers, then her face becomes serious. “Do you know the trouble with gods, Silvertongue?”

“Never knowing whether to smite with lightning or plagues?” you quip. Her grin makes a reappearance.

“True,” she says. “But more importantly, they're not mortal.” She tilts her head up to look at the stars. “I think about reclaiming what we are and I feel... uneasy. The full power of a divine being is enough to burn a mortal form to ash upon being witnessed.”

“So, think twice before trying to fit it in our heads?” you say. Inside, your stomach is dropping. She's right. You wanted to know so you chased answers, but there are risks here that you still don't understand.

“Twice, thrice, and once more again,” she says in a little sing-song that has to be a catchetism. “And we need to speak to Baldur.”

“What do you think? Can we trust him?”

“I don't usually advise trust,” says Terezi. “But I've not met him.”

“Neither have I.” You think back to the chaos surrounding the mask that possessed you and your friends. “In fact, he's only really met Dave and Roxy. Which might be significant.”

“Perhaps.” It's hard to read Terezi's expression; aasimar night-vision is shit, to put it mildly. She can probably make out your nose hairs, which puts you at a distinct disadvantage in this environment. “Judgement without possession of the facts is-”

A loud, girlish scream from the caravan interrupts her. You both draw blades in a blink and wheel around in time to see the door burst open. A ragged, floppy doll is flung out and Dave appears in the doorway of the caravan.

“Bro! Keep that creepy shitting thing away from me!”

The door slams again. The orange crow perched on the door lintel caws and swoops down. You dart in and pull the doll away before it can peck it to bits. A quick brush and it looks as good as when you picked it up, which isn't great. Its blue eyes stare glassily up at you and you have a vague, uneasy feeling in the pit of your stomach.

“Wha?” Jane's head pokes out of one tent. Beside her, Kanaya's tent-flap also shifts aside, and you forget your disquiet as they both look blearily out.

“Nothing to see here,” you say, hiding the doll behind your back. “Back to sleep.”

They both grumble a little and retreat. Terezi sneaks up behind you and snatches the doll out of your hand with a speed that seems, frankly, unfair.

“Careful,” you say, grabbing it back and tucking it under an arm. “I'm waiting to give that back to someone.”

“Who?”

“Not sure.” You shrug and look away. “Dave hates it. Must have fallen off the shelf.”

Terezi laughs. “You are a curious pair. I admit to knowing little of the surface, but I had thought aasimar usually lived in houses. Or temples.”

“Yeah, that's us. Freaks and weirdos.” You sigh. “Truth is, we're not exactly aasimar. By birth, maybe, but we're adopted. That a problem?”

“Should it be?” Terezi shrugs. “In Golgesi, few would take in another's child, but I don't know about up here.”

“Some people will do it,” you tell her. “But we were raised by Phooka, and that's a bit different. There's a traditional thing of not hatching your own eggs- you're supposed to trade them to another clan. And finding an egg, or a kid, that's supposed to be good luck. Gods-sent children.”

“Were you good luck?”

“For the clan? Fuck knows.” You glance towards the caravan. “Some people think Phooka steal children, and we sure as shit didn't dispel that impression. But for us? Best fucking luck we ever had. I don't remember much, before, but... we didn't have anyone, when they found us. Just each other. We got a home, a family, a place to belong. Not their fault that we never quite did.”

The silence is pensive.

“Perhaps none of us were meant to belong,” says Terezi. It's not a sad comment. It's a speculation, and you consider it as such.

“We should pose that to Jane,” you say. The Wardens always seemed to belong just fine, but you can admit that you might have missed something.

Terezi grabs your arm.

“In the trees,” she whispers. Her eyes are narrowed at a patch of shadow; you squint, and see a movement. You would have missed it on your own. You really need some enchantment that'll give you darkvision, because this is a serious disadvantage. You draw your sword and look towards the skulking figure.

“Show yourself,” you call, projecting loud. After that ruckus, you know none of your compatriots are fast asleep, so hopefully they should be arming themselves about now.

The shape shifts closer and steps out of the trees, resolving into a golden aelfen. He's muddy and drawn, his clothes sturdy adventuring gear that is nonetheless a little too fine for the punishment it's taken. His eyes flicker from you to Terezi, and he swallows.

“Tamlin,” says Terezi. Her voice is sunny and cold at once. “I wondered where you went. It appears you have been introducing yourself under false pretences; meet Dirk Silvertongue, bearer of the Heart mark.”

Your sword whispers out of its scabbard. “How ya doin', asshole?”

Tamlin straightens, and draws his own sword. “I have a message for you.”

“Then deliver it fast,” you say, and charge.

### Suggestions Used:

 _gutza1 -_ Dave: Talk to this drow Inquisitor.

 _gutza1 -_ Dave: Are there any bitches? I wanna do them. Maybe a drow girl?

 _Chaosisorder -_ Lil Cal: Hug Dave. tightly.

 _Darwin G'wein –_ Dirk: Wear the mask. Be the Strid- oh crap the winds here are ridiculous! Hide your terrible poker face while you fix your mask.

 _Wolf -_ dirk: humor this chosen thing by challenging this impostor

 _Spyro -_ Dirk: Talk to the voice in your head

 _Aryashi -_ Dirk: Entertain your party with a Rap about a previous misadventure (Dave counterpoint optional)

 _Evi -_ Dirk: Keep the doll until you find the little girl.

 _J-Rook -_ Dirk: have a hard time getting away from yourself./splinter./drowned in your own horrible personality.

 _Troodon -_ Orange Feathery Asshole: Guard a sleeping Dave. Earn your name.

 _OwlFlight -_ Any Godmarked: Follow Gamzee's advice about how to commune with your divine patron/inner god.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There we go! Chapter! And by my calculations, one more before Christmas, which I will be taking off as usual.
> 
> Hope you're all having a good December so far! :)


	130. ==> Gamzee: Travel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Hero point votes:**  
>  Sollux 3  
> Terezi 1
> 
>  **Current Hero Points:**  
>  John 3/5, Rose 2/5, ~~Dave 3/3,~~ Jade 2/3  
>  Karkat 3/5, Gamzee 2/3, Terezi 4/5  
> Sollux 1/3, Aradia 2/3, ~~Kanaya 5/5~~  
>  Jane 2/5, ~~Jake 5/5,~~ Roxy 2/3, ~~Dirk 3/3~~

## ==> Gamzee: Travel

"So you never had any formal training whatsoever?"

Your red-eyed blood bro growls all low and angerful. He's got some serious motherfucking grouch on. "Which part of _grew up in a stinking hellpit of a slum_ makes you think anyone gave a shit about teaching me anything, ever? Only time we got any of those religious assholes in the Shanties, they were there for necks to stretch, and I stayed fucking clear because surprise! Drow don't like the Knight of Blood any more than aasimar do."

The light sis don't seem any kind if ruffled by his response. "You are literate, however. Someone must have educated you, at least a little."

Karkat's looking fit to blow a gasket, so you all up and step in for a motherfucker. "That was all being the work of his mother, my fine and illuminated sister. Bitch was to being an outright motherfucking miracle."

"Don't fucking call my mom a bitch," says Karkat, but there ain't no manner of heat to it.

Rose clucks at you like some surface-dwelling eggbird. "So was your mother temple-trained?"

"Rosie!" Her hatchsister all up and steps in before your bro can be getting his harsh on. "I'm sorry, ev'ryone, she's just got her robes in a twist 'cos she's not the number one super-seer any more."

Roxy's got a smile like as to be dazzling you if you ain't turning your peepers elsewhere, so you get to looking at John. He's walking up ahead of the rest of you, guardlike as any you've seen. You step on up to him with the swiftness that's coming in your bones, and smile all nice-like when he squeaks.

"Uh... Gamzee!" Motherfucker recovers fast, you'll grant him that. Strong, too- one day you'd love a chance to fight him, see who's got the best of it. "Can I help you?"

"I'm just getting my look on for a change of topic, is what," you tell him. "Light-sis ain't all up and getting the feel to what she can see further, but blood runs deep."

He blinks some. "Oookay. Not sure what you just said, but sure, buddy. We can talk."

You grin at him, teeth and wicked eyes. That cruel hunger what once you had for forgetting is become another craving, one you ain't got the full knowing of, but what you can feel inside you like a living thing. "Ain't it a thing, my brother, that you done come to find two siblings and all up and lost the one what you had?"

"Jane isn't lost," John says, quick and sharp. You see he likes you the less for your asking. "We'll find each other again, all of us. You'll see!"

A little song makes itself known in your head and you hum it. It's sad, though, so you stop. "Some things are for the finding, my brother, and some for the losing. Know what you want or some motherfucker's like as to want to know you."

You think your advice is up and being clear as glass and crystal, but the look what he gives you says elsewise is true. Ain't no kind of bother to you, though, so you take up whistling once again. Road's open and clear past hills so empty, ain't a soul had thought to put a farm upon them. Far off and away, you can be to smelling blood and hearing screams. Though those might just be up and in your own skullpan. Seems like that's always what's sitting on the verge of you since coming up to the sun and air, and it ain't that you've a bad thought to it, but there's times you're missing the quiet.

Karkat all stamps his way up beside you. “That's it. I officially fucking hate this oracle bullshit. I thought I hated it before, but I can see now that I was only wallowing in the shallow end of the loathing pool. My previous feelings were a mere flicker of distaste compared to my current, unplumbed depths of disgust with the whole navel-gazing, smug shit-talking, supercilious _crap mastery_ that is being peddled here.”

“Heh, Rose got a bit wordy, huh?” says John. He takes him a glance back at the other two, now talking to their sweet selves. “She isn't so bad, really. She just likes big words.”

Karkat gives him the motherfucking eyeball. “I say this with the deepest and most utmost sincerity, Warden: go fuck yourself.” He turns and looks up at you, studying out the landscape once more, and you get a sharp sting in your flesh where he all punches to your arm. “Quit thinking whatever you're thinking, shitmunch. I know that face.”

“Ain't all thinking of nothing, my brother,” you tell him. “But what a sweet thing it is to be up and at liberty with my motherfucking friends.”

“Sure,” says Karkat, but he's scowling, so he don't believe you. There's times you're wanting to be plucking out his eyes to put aside your own head, show him what you're seeing. But eyes don't work that way, much as you could wish they do. “Look, Warden, do you know when we're stopping? Because the light out here is just about reaching tolerable levels, which I know means you daywalking wimps are going to want your rest time.”

John raises up a hand to point out into the distance, where you're seeing a shadow raised up against the sky. “There's a hostel up ahead, for the pilgrims. We'll stop there.”

Karkat huffs and you nod. There's a rightness to that, staying in the place where pilgrims go.

“I hope there's someone there, though,” John adds. “It's been too quiet on this road.”

“What, you miss the unwashed masses getting in our fucking way?” Karkat asks. His surprise ain't too unlike to your own. From out your tower you ain't seen too much of nothing, but if Golgesi was crowded as shit, weren't no motherfuckers about in the deeps beyond.

“It's not that.” John looks around, then drops his voice. “There should be people on this road. Even with no farms, there should be pilgrims going to and from the Starspire, or the towns inbetween. It's weird.”

“Good fucking riddance,” says Karkat, but your bro draws closer to you. You catch the blood again in your mouth and nose, and get to wondering of what is the real.

The sun's all but down by the time you're reaching the hostel ahead. It's gone from a smudge at the horizon to a building all its own, rough stone for the lower floor and logs for the second, like someone all went and added it as an afterthought. Perhaps they did. Surface-dwellers ain't for building up so much as drow and dwarves, with no ceiling or walls to be building up against. There's light shining from betwixt shutters, but you ain't so much as stepped off the road before two figures all step in front of you, swords ready.

“Halt,” says the one, a woman behind the helm. Ain't a damn feature else would tell you elsewise- that's armour made to make the wearers look alike, faceless and formless, ideas in masks. You shift. It ain't like the paint you wear, to show your face. These smooth steel helms are for hiding, so their enemies are always motherfucking surprised.

The light-sis steps on past you, her arms raised. Ain't a weapon on show amongst you, save that three of the five of you ain't needing one. There's a log not far from you, part of the wall of spikes what the motherfuckers done made around the hostel. More'n enough chinks in that armour to drive it through, should the need come upon you.

“We are peaceful travellers, on our way to the Starspire,” she says, all smooth as silk. “What business has the Church of Heart here?”

You look again and sure, there is a heart upon their surcoats, tyrian against silver. Ain't a Church you've much call to be looking for, but if they're much like to their patron... Dirk gave you vibes, ones you liked and feared in measure.

Karkat don't notice or mind none if you step behind him, now and again.

“You've not heard?” asks the second Paladin of Heart, deep voice all echoes inside metal, speaking out of depths and darkness. “The Starspire went silent weeks ago. The gates are closed; no-one has come in or out, and pilgrims have been vanishing from the roads.”

“Take our advice and turn back now,” says the first Paladin. “There's nothing but trouble ahead.”

“Well, of fucking course there is.” Karkat mutters all quiet, but it's enough to be drawing their eyes to him, and after him you.

“Drow?” The second Paladin readies his blade. Karkat all curses and reaches for his own two.

“Wait!” John all steps between you. “Are you really going to judge someone on appearances?”

A pause.

“He's right,” says the first Paladin. Her comrade makes less like to attack, but not so much as to be called relaxing.

“An armed group, travelling to Starspire, now?” He looks over you all. “I think you need to talk to our commander.”

“Very well,” says Rose, and you see your bro all tense up. Silent-like, you take his hand in your own, before he can be touching it to that which he don't want them seeing. In that same moment, you're all to remembering your own promises.

Ain't no motherfucker laying a hand on your brother, less what you and he wish it. This commander thinks different... well, then you sure and motherfucking look forward to meeting that motherfucker.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter short and lacking suggestions due to unexpected migrane this week. Whoops! I really need to work on these things less erratically...
> 
> Also I blame Mass Effect. Damn Bioware and their addictive, addictive games.
> 
> I will now be going on hiatus for Christmas and my birthday, so the next update will be January 17th. See you all then! Happy holidays everyone, and thank you for another year of your readership. You continually blow me away. :)


	131. ==> Jade: Fly, You Fools!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Hero point votes:**  
>  Sollux 3  
> Terezi 1
> 
>  **Current Hero Points:**  
>  John 3/5, Rose 2/5, ~~Dave 3/3,~~ Jade 2/3  
>  Karkat 3/5, Gamzee 2/3, Terezi 4/5  
> Sollux 1/3, Aradia 2/3, ~~Kanaya 5/5~~  
>  Jane 2/5, ~~Jake 5/5,~~ Roxy 2/3, ~~Dirk 3/3~~

## ==> Jade: Fly, You Fools!

The City of Shadows is really, really impressive. It makes it a real shame that it is inhabited solely by butts.

You've only ever seen one underground city- the Quartzkin Clanhold, hewn by dwarves from the stone itself. Your friends told you stories about Golgesi, too, the spires the drow built in their hidden cavern. This place is nothing like either of them. When the guards prod you out of the shrine you arrived in, you stop dead taking it all in. It takes a shove between the shoulders to get you moving again.

It is, in a word, organic. Not the reassuring leafy organic of a forest, but the squelchy, funny-shaped and oddly-coloured organic of guts spilling from a fresh kill. They twist and stretch off in every direction into shadows that hide the edges of the cavern you know you mist be in. Thin tendons stretch between them and you realise after a moment that they are walkways... roads. Looking down, you're walking on one just like it, wide enough for three carts abreast and with no rail to speak of. It looks like it should be moist and squishy, but it feels firm and Bec's claws clatter on the surface. The light is dim, cast by floating orbs that glow with sickly radiance. You'd call the city garish, but the word sounds too cheery. The colours are all slightly too dark or muddy or off-shade. They make your skin crawl.

Everywhere you look, there are tieflings. Their clothes are colourful too, and the longer you look the more you think you see a pattern. Cooler colours are guards, or dressed in rich silks and velvets. Warmer colours are servants and labourers. You grew up in a forest, so you don't notice what's missing until Sollux mutters next to you; “no beggars.”

“Silence!” The blue-armoured guard slaps Sollux, hard enough to make him stumble. With the chains you're wearing, he almost falls.

“Hey! Lay off him!” you yell, whirling on the guard. Bec growls, but you are brought up short by a spear pointed at your guts.

“Who asked you, _elf?”_ the tiefling sneers. You can't see his face under the helmet, but you bet he's sneering.

“He didn't even do anything!” You're not backing down. If if comes to it, you can jump over the edge. You've got loads of time to turn into a bird on the way down. “It's not like we were trying to come to your stupid city! We were just trying not to get eaten by the-”

“Don't talk to the prisoners, Executor,” says one of the other guards. Her voice is firm, but she sounds surprisingly young. Her armour is a darker blue than his, you note. “You know the rules.”

“Your rules suck!” you yell. This time you get slapped, and ow. A bear mauling would be kinder. These guys are strong.

The senior guard steps up and dismisses you, Ursus and Sarona with a single glance before looking at Sollux. “What are you?”

To your surprise and delight, Sollux spits at her. The glob of spittle dribbles down her helmet and her hand twitches, just slightly, as if she were about to wipe it off. The next moment she surges forward and grabs him by the hair, hauling his head back as he yells.

“Pointed ears,” she says, sounding a little disappointed. “Some sort of elf, like the others.” She drops Sollux before you or Bec can bite her, and turns to Henzar. “You're lucky you're Jade-blooded. They always need more of you in the caverns; you might just survive punishment.”

Henzar does not look remotely reassured by this. You feel sorry for him, stuck here without his lusus-companion. If Bec abandoned you so you could get stuck somewhere like this, you'd be really miserable.

You are prodded on your way again. The walkway ends at a tower, which you can just about see a slope spiralling around the outside edge of. Still no walkway. Trying to look as if you are just walking, you match pace with Sollux and whisper: “Can you fly?”

He half-glances your way before looking back to the front. “Glide. For a bit.”

“Good enough.” You clear your throat and speak loudly in a language you know your guards won't understand- the Druid tongue. “Ursus, Henzar, can you shift to birds?”

“I can,” Ursus replies.

“I'm not sure,” says Henzar. “I've never-”

“Silence!”

“What, we can't even have a conversation?” You talk loudly, to cover the fact that Ursus is whispering to Sarona. “This is totally stupid!” Your heart is pounding; there's a part of this plan you're really not sure of at all, but you know you can do it. Even if that knowledge makes no sense.

“You will be silent or we will silence you!” The ranking guard is getting really testy. Ursus gives you the nod. You grin.

“Pass,” you say, and dart to the side. Power crackles around you, green and vast. Weight is a function of mass and mass is your plaything, your Godmark opening into a starfield. You are holding the world that you are standing on and you reach out to change a single, small detail.

Bec's fur brushes your fingers, and his feet leave the ground.

Beside you Sollux is shouting arcane words and the other three are making their own break for it. A spear jabs into the space you were just occupying as you throw yourself over the ledge and into free space. You drop like a rock, if the rock was wearing steel chains.

There's no time to panic. You close your eyes and reach for a different magic, one that you learned from the wolves and the wind. The chains fall away as your body shrinks and changes, feathers sprouting from your skin. You snap your wings out and suddenly you are soaring, away from the walkway and the furious shouting of the guards.

Owl has never been your favourite shape, but right now you love it more than anything. You wheel and eyes that evolved to pick out a mouse in the dark see Sollux and Sarona bobbing in the air, making a gentle, magically assisted descent. Two more owls wheel around them- Ursus and Henzar. The markings on Henzar's head make you think of his horns. Bec paddles through the air after them like he's swimming in a pool.

It is, frankly, the most ridiculous scene you have ever seen in your life, and if you didn't have a beak you would be laughing so hard right now.

“Get down there!” yells the ranking guard, above you. You look down and see another walkway approaching. Spinning in the air, you nudge Sollux away from it. Ursus goes to do the same to Sarona, and she starts to shake her head.

“I can't hold it!” she yells. Ursus veers away, and he and Henzar take up position beside her. You understand; they will make sure she gets away safely. You turn back to Sollux, who is drifting away towards a lower level.

“Fucking amateurth,” he mutters as you pass. From the grin he's wearing, you suspect it's pride in his own skill rather than scorn at Sarona's.

A few fingers point your way as you drift down, but there's no way anyone can keep up with you. The three of you manage to steer towards a narrow crack between two buildings; Sollux releases his spell and makes a relatively graceful landing, although not as polished as yours. Guardian Wolfsister always said that people who can't fly have no business having wings, and made sure you could at least get to ground without taking a tumble. Bec has a little more trouble, and ends up dropping the last couple of feet when your spell wears off him.

“We thould move,” says Sollux, with a nervous glance to the nearby walkway-street. A couple of yellow-clad tieflings are staring in at you. Giving Bec one last check-over, you hurry in the opposite direction, emerging onto a deserted catwalk. Knowing that you won't be blending in with the crowds around here, you keep moving, heading back into the dark alleys between buildings and ducking out of sight whenever you see someone.

You're about to turn out of one such alley when Sollux grabs your arm.

“Wait a thecond,” he says. You pause on the edge of the street.

“What is it?”

He shakes his head. It reminds you of Bec clearing water out of his ears. “I jutht... I don't know.” He frowns and stares at the towers visible ahead of you. “Do you believe in dethtiny?”

You wrinkle your nose. “Is this the best time?”

“I'm theriouth.” Sollux turns. He's not wearing his dark glasses, all the better to see in this dim, underground kingdom. It's eerie, seeing his eyes shine red and blue with magic. Stranger yet is that you've seen those exact colours on the buildings here; everything about him fits here, in a way it doesn't anywhere else. “Look, forget godth and preordained fateth. What about the nature of predethtination? If every action hath a predictable rethponthe then ultimately everything ith predictable, and we have no agenthy to change it.”

This clearly can't wait, although why, you have no idea. “Yeah, but it's pointless to think about, isn't it? If we do have control of our fate, then we have to act as if we do, and if we don't then we have no control over our actions whether we know it or not. So can we keep moving now?”

He frowns at you, like you're the one being a dumbass and wasting time here. “No, you don't underthtand. Thith plathe...” He trails off. “I know thith plathe.”

“What does that have to do with fate?”

“Everything.” He steps out of the alley and you follow him, too late to snatch him back. There are a couple of people out on this walkway. One of them looks to have a stall of some kind; she and her customer stare and you and you stare back before all looking away. _No trouble here,_ says the silence. You are quietly angry about this stupid city and the way it sucks tieflings in. All of these people started out in the real world.

“The thing ith,” he says, his voice a little louder than you'd like. “If fate ith real, then in theory it could be altered. If you knew the right way.”

You roll your eyes. “Sollux, diviners can't even tell the future reliably, let alone change it!”

“No, it'th more like a curthe,” he says. There's something sparking in him, you can tell; it's almost electric. “You change the inevitable with thome other inevitability. I can almotht thee...”

He trails off. You wait the requisite few seconds before saying: “See what?”

“It'th gone.” He turns back to you. “But thith plathe? It wath a mithtake.”

“You're sure?”

“Yeth.” He glares at a nearby building. “Alternia wath wrong. Thomething evil infected it, changed fate. Thith ith... an echo of that.” He starts walking in the opposite direction to the one you had planned to take, towards the denser clusters of buildings. “We need to go thith way.”

“Is this a tiefling thing?” you ask, jogging after him.

“I think it'th a god thing,” he says. There's not much you can offer to that, so you follow as he leads you down a steep set of stairs and through increasingly darker passages. You didn't prepare a light orison today and Sollux can't cast that magic, so you find your way by the dim glow from his eyes and the reflected lights of the city. As you wind downwards you get the sense that you're heading into forgotten territory; that the city has built upwards and outwards through the ages, leaving its older foundations abandoned and crumbling.

You also get the sense that you are being followed, but every time you turn all you can see is darkness.

Then you reach the edge of a long drop and find yourself looking out over the strangest sight in this bizarre city. More of the floating light orbs illuminate the space ahead of you, which is populated by a jumbled mix of buildings. Some of them are similar to the surrounding towers, but most are very different. You see a couple of fragmenting castles, small blocky houses, even a cave. You'd say it looked like someone pulled up a dozen different places and dropped them all in one location, if it wasn't patently ridiculous.

“What is this?” you ask.

“How thould I fucking know?” asks Sollux, and you bite back on the urge to point out that he led you here.

“This is the oldest part of the city,” says a voice behind you, and you spin with a yell, drawing your unloaded musket. Behind you stands the street vendor from earlier. She's carrying a glowing crystal in one hand, giving her grey skin a blue cast. Her clothes and eyes are both a vibrant shade of red, and there's a lean, almost hungry look to her. Only one horn pokes out of her hair, and it's short but pointy, a neat little zag of yellow-orange.

Sollux jumps a mile. “Who the nookthniffing globehumperth are you?”

Okay, what? If you weren't busy paying attention to your newly-discovered stalker, you'd bring it up, but as it is you keep your gaze on the problem at hand.

“Why did you follow us?” Another thought occurs. “How did you follow us?”

She grins. “Two strangers aren't faster than me on my home turf, even ones that come looking for the Old Ones.”

This time you do look at Sollux. He looks back at you, equally baffled. “The Old Ones?”

Her chuckle is dry, like cracking plaster. “I heard what your friend said. I know a thing or two about fate myself, and I know this much; they'll want to meet you.” She turns and starts to walk into the darkness. A moment later, her voice drifts back. “I'd come along, unless you want to take your chances with the Condesce and her guards.”

 _Nooksniffing globehumpers?_ you mouth at Sollux. He shrugs. The two of you, and Bec, follow the stranger into the shadows.

### Suggestions Used:

 _Jon -_ Jade: get into a heated argument with city guards

 _Mort Harris -_ Jade: hold as much contempt for tiefling politics as you do for druid politics.

 _whod99 -_ Sollux: invent/remember exciting new curse Words

 _archivalDaeva -_ Sollux: do the Doom-y thing

 _ShadowsLiveOn -_ Sollux: Attempt to ignore the vague familiarity of the city and its weird as shit buildings. Fail to ignore and have another flashback.

 _Darwin G'wein -_ Sollux: Your latent DOOM powers throw a fortune teller for a loop; gain one new (fan/nemesis) that is one part comical to two parts creepy... And runs really fast for a street vendor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New year, new chapter! Hope you all had a good holiday time. Thank you for all the birthday/Christmas wishes.
> 
> New Alternia is fun. The Old Ones are fun too. You will see, yes you will... *manic laughter*
> 
> Fun LODAD facts: this entire escape plan was something I came up with on the fly, when I realised that at least two of the captives could shapeshift into birds. Where did Sollux's chains go?
> 
> ...let's say he magicked them off. Author definitely didn't make a continuity error there that would need a reasonably large edit to fix. No sirree.


	132. ==> Jake: Find A Ruined Temple

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Hero point votes:**  
>  Sollux 3  
> Terezi 1
> 
>  **Current Hero Points:**  
>  John 3/5, Rose 2/5, ~~Dave 3/3,~~ Jade 2/3  
>  Karkat 3/5, Gamzee 2/3, Terezi 4/5  
> Sollux 1/3, Aradia 2/3, ~~Kanaya 5/5~~  
>  Jane 2/5, Jake 3/5, Roxy 2/3, ~~Dirk 3/3~~

## ==> Jake: Find A Ruined Temple

“A centaur?”

Up ahead of you, Aradia nods. She's a fine trailblazer; without a decent blade between you, she's using the haft of the spear you made last night to whack the vegetation aside. Between that and the impressive heft of her horns, there's not much left to smack you in the face.

“It could have been a dream, but I don't think it was,” she says. “And even if it was, I don't think it matters. Something real happened!”

“Sure did!” You raise one of your new guns and admire it in the sunlight. It's a little different than the firearms you're used to, and you've been studying it all morning. “These didn't come from nowhere, after all. Even my mother couldn't craft a piece like this.”

“She's good?”

“The best,” you say, proud of your family's inventing skill. “But look at this!” You click the little switch that releases a catch, and a fat cylinder falls out of the barrel. Inside there are six chambers, each loaded with a long, sleek bullet. “Mom's been working on breech-loaders for years, but she's never got the blasted things to work right. And I've never seen ammo like this!”

You're so caught up with the gun that you almost trip over a root. Aradia glances back. “So who do you think made it?”

“The Smith,” you say, with certainty.

“The Smith?”

“It's an old dwarven legend.” You follow her down a slope, using your free hand to keep your balance. “He's the god of the forge and making things, after all.”

“I thought that was the Prince?”

“Maybe it's the same god?” You shrug. “I'm not a priest or grand-high worshipper type of chap, and I don't know a fat lot about what you surface lot believe in. But the story goes that when the Smith thinks someone is a worthy sort, and their need is strong enough, he makes them a weapon.”

“That sounds nice of him.” Aradia hops over a small stream and you follow. Your trousers flutter in the breeze. Now that it's daytime you're actually glad to be wearing a bit less in these warmer climes.

“Not really,” you tell Aradia, catching up to her. “Like I said, he only hands them out to folks he judges to be worthy sorts. There's all manner of gory tragedies that start with the hero getting passed a holy weapon and being a mite underachieving with it.”

“Well, I suppose you'd better do something important with those, then!”

“Sure had,” you say, perhaps a tad too brightly. Especially as there are only twelve shots and you have no idea how to make more of these bullets. That's twelve “shots” to impress a god famous for being a tough audience. Fuck, you are dead.

Before you can really get into quaking in your boots in a proper dramatic fashion, you and Aradia push through some trees and find something much more immediate in your path.

“Wow!”

“Bloody hells!”

The wall in front of you is almost unrecognisable under greenery. The yellow sandstone has eroded over the ages until it looks almost like natural rock; blobby shapes on the surface may once have been carvings, but you'd be pushed to work out what the blazes they are now. You look up towards the peak of an artificial mountain, a crumbling ruin swallowed by the forest around it.

“I'm going up there,” you say.

“Me too,” Aradia agrees.

Growing up in a dwarf hold gives a fellow a few ideas on how to go about climbing a rock-face. You have a few pitons and some rope in the old dungeoneering kit, which turns out to still be soggy and full of seaweed. Given that the sandstone is a mite brittle and the climb is a high one, you decide to tie yourselves together and use the pitons sparingly.

As it turns out, you both make the climb quite happily, with no nasty tumbles or surprises. You think the building was once stepped, but even though the pyramid is smoother now there are still plenty of ledges to stop and take a breather. You make it to the top with aching arms and daylight to spare, and look out over a sea of green tree-tops with a warm feeling of satisfaction. Even your sunburn prickling can't take away the satisfaction.

“Nice view,” says Aradia, scrambling up beside you. You offer her a hand, like a gent, and she takes it.

“Sure is,” you agree. The two of you share a smile, and you feel a warm moment in your chest. She's a pistol, this girl, and you feel a whole lot safer with her around. You watch as she pokes around.

“There has to be an entrance somewhere,” she says.

“Down here?” you suggest, walking to the edge. There's a ledge just below you. “If this is the roof...”

“Makes sense,” she says. “Here, help me down and I'll do the same.”

You lower Aradia, and she helps you drop down after. The two of you soon find a stone arch, filled by a heavy-looking slab that swings aside at a touch.

“Well, that was easy.” You start to walk in, only to be stopped by Aradia's arm.

“Wait,” she says, her eyes narrowing. “This is too easy.”

You back up a step, eyeing the dark entrance. “A trap?”

“Sort of.” She turns, taking in the pyramid again. “I think this might be a Page Temple. They're ever so interesting, and full of treasure, but they're dangerous too. The others never wanted to explore them.”

“Ah.” You look at the ruin- the Temple- with new respect. “Perhaps we should give it a rest, then?”

“We'll be fine,” says Aradia, wrapping a chummy arm around your shoulders. “You are the Page, after all! Besides, adventurer scuttlebutt says that because it's a whole religious thing, there's a knack to surviving it.”

“A knack?” You're still hanging back, a little unsure.

“Yep!” Aradia strides up to the door. “The Page likes the brave and the bold, so the trick is, don't be cautious.”

“In a trap-filled temple?” you say, but she's already gone. You shiver in the breeze, then hurry in after her.

It takes your eyes a moment to adjust. You've gone from bright sunlight to a dim interior, lit only by the light streaming through the entrance behind you. A staircase winds downwards, the only visible exit. You start down them and then think to wonder if they might be as crumbling as the edifice you climbed.

Oh, well. Courage and all that. You shrug and keep going.

Aradia is waiting at the base of the stairs, in a large chamber lit by beams of light streaming through holes in the stonework. It's tinted green by leaves. In here, the carvings have survived much better; they line the walls, showing all manner of exciting derring-do. You glance idly at them before looking across the chamber. It's large and square and has doorways on each wall. To reach any of them, you'd have to cross from the central pillar over a tiled floor.

You look at Aradia. “Traps?”

“Probably.”

You look again at the tiles and feel your heart flutter. You could be about to die.

“Right, then,” you say. “Door ahead?”

Aradia grins, and you both charge.

You're a third of the way across when the jets of flame start bursting from the tiles around you. Magical, it has to be, but as alarming as the first blast of heat is you quickly dodge around it. Crossing the floor quickly becomes a dance, one that you make easily. Aradia is right behind you and you're both grinning as you reach the archway.

“After you, miss,” you say, with a bow. You both walk through and find yourselves in a small room with an empty plinth in the centre. You share another glance, then put your hands on the plinth and push. Stone grinds on stone, and something behind you makes a loud clatter.

Aradia grins at you. “Think there's three more of these?”

“Let's find out,” you say. You run back out onto the stone floor, but no more flames appear until you're approaching the right-hand door. These are a little harder to dodge, and you find yourself working up quite the sweat to steer clear. Aradia takes a few seconds longer than you, and you are both panting as you activate the second plinth.

It's on the way to the third plinth that everything goes wrong. You've got the rhythm of the thing and are cutting quite the dashing figure when you hear Aradia scream. You glance back and she's caught between two jets of flame, stumbling back into a third.

“Aradia!” There's an awful moment, an instant where you know without a single doubt that there is nothing you can do, and she is going to get burned. Then a light bursts out of you, bright and brilliant, burning away all despair. It fades in an instant, leaving the world unchanged... except Aradia is stumbling out next to you safe and sound.

For a moment you are both pale, just looking at one another.

“Maybe you should wait here?” you suggest.

Aradia nods, and the two of you go together to activate the plinth. You leave her in the arch as you cross to the last one; the flames feel almost natural to you, but your smooth moves suffer a little from the memory of Aradia, about to burn. This isn't a game, or if it is, it's a deadly one.

The last plinth opens a new staircase in the centre of the floor, spiralling downwards. You lead the way, Aradia's hand resting on your shoulder. Her hand is cool against your burned skin. As you reach the base of the stairs you stop. You're looking down a hallway towards a distant door. Globes of magical light line the walls, casting a dim yellow glow over the stone. The reliefs here are much the same as those upstairs, but are somewhat harder to make out.

“Run?” Aradia asks.

“Together,” you say firmly, offering her your hand. She takes it, and the two of you take off. You've hardly taken three steps before the flagstones drop away behind you.

“Faster!” you shout, and the two of you tear down the corridor as fast as you possibly can. You can feel the stones dropping away at your heels, and a jolt runs through you as you see the stones ahead doing the same.

“Jump!” you both shout, together. As one you launch, the ground beneath you dropping away seconds later. You land on the far side, still hand-in-hand. You stumble forward and Aradia stops you from falling. You huddle against the foot of the new stairs as the last of the corridor crumbles into a pit that has to reach all the way to the forest floor.

It's a long drop.

“Wow!” Aradia grins at you. Her hair is tumbling around her face and she's flushed. You suspect you look every bit as dishevelled as you grin back.

The next set of stairs leads you down to another corridor, this one shorter but taller. You take a single step out into it and metal grinds; you jump back as large, bladed pendulums drop from the walls to swing in lethal arcs across your path.

Even Aradia looks a little pale. “I suppose we have to... dodge them?”

“Maybe.” You narrow your eyes, squinting up into the darkness at the top of the corridor. All the pendulums are swinging in time, so there's a fair shot they're linked up to a single shaft... “Or maybe not.”

Twelve shots. You hope this one counts.

Your new guns have a hammer at the back that has to be cocked. You think there's an alchemical charge in the bullets that it activates. Time to find out for sure. You wave Aradia back and take aim at the core of the trap, sighting on the glints of metal in the shadows. You can't just keep hammering away at this; you need to get it right.

You take a deep breath and try to leave a door open for any godly powers you might have. A warm feeling rises in you, and you are smiling as you pull the trigger.

The feeling rushes out of you as the air cracks. Something in the workings clatters, and the pendulums drop, suddenly stilled.

“Let's go!” Aradia grabs your hand and tugs, and the two of you dart past the sharp blades before something repairs them. That they will be repaired, you do not doubt. You silently thank the Smith as you run to the door at the far end of the corridor. It's another slab door, and like the entrance to the temple, it moves aside at a touch.

“You ready?” Aradia asks.

“Born ready,” you say, and mean it. You might be an elf, but you're a Quartzkin elf. The Page of Hope?

Can _bring it._

[System Notes](http://celynbrum.tumblr.com/post/138432152600/lodad-system-notes-chapter-132)

### Suggestions Used:

 _1JakoftheMoon1 -_ Jake: Find mythic revolver(s).

 _gutza1 -_ Jake: Begin to get closer to Aradia (yeah I kinda ship them).

 _Chippy -_ Jake: plunder a ruined temple of the Page

 _gutza1 -_ Jake: Unleash your god powers. IRON HEART SUUUUUUUUUUUUURGE!

 _1JakoftheMoon1 -_ Jake: Endure the trials with stiff upper lip and absolutely no fear!

 _narue_nara_chan -_ Anyone: For once, don't regret your life choices.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Running a little late this week. Many unexpected events! However I did get to roleplay this Friday, and I spent Saturday at a great music gig, and you get a chapter in the end, so all was well. If tiring!
> 
> I like Temples of the Page. I think all fantasy worlds should have a god whose followers deliberately litter the world with trapped temples just to encourage adventurers.


	133. -- ELVEN SUBTYPE: PHOOKA --

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Hero point votes:**  
>  Sollux 5  
> Terezi 1
> 
> SOLLUX GAINS ONE HERO POINT!  
> Voting now open for the next Hero Point award: one person will get one after three chapters. 
> 
> **Current Hero Points:**  
>  John 3/5, Rose 2/5, ~~Dave 3/3,~~ Jade 2/3  
>  Karkat 3/5, Gamzee 2/3, Terezi 4/5  
> Sollux 2/3, Aradia 2/3, ~~Kanaya 5/5~~  
>  Jane 2/5, Jake 3/5, Roxy 2/3, ~~Dirk 3/3~~

## PHOOKA

Also known as Wild Elves, the Phooka are elves hatched by magic from the Plane of Fire. Irrepressible and indomitable, they are hardy in mind, body and spirit, carrying little baggage on their backs or in their hearts. Worldly-wise and quick-witted, they often become rangers, wandering monks or bards. 

_• +2 Dexterity, +2 Wisdom, –2 Intelligence:_ Phooka are nimble and have good instincts, but have little time for abstractions.  
_• Medium:_ Phooka are Medium creatures and have no bonuses or penalties due to their size.  
_• Normal Speed:_ Phooka have a base speed of 30 feet.  
_• Low-Light Vision:_ Phooka can see twice as far as normal in conditions of dim light (see low-light vision).  
_• Elven Immunities:_ Phooka are immune to magic sleep effects and get a +2 racial saving throw bonus against enchantment spells and effects.  
_• Tireless Runner:_ Phooka thrive on the move, forever roaming across parched deserts, frozen wastelands, and endless plains. They receive a +4 racial bonus on Constitution checks and Fortitude saves to avoid fatigue, exhaustion, or ill effects from running, forced marches, starvation, thirst, or hot or cold environments.  
_• Keen Senses:_ Phooka receive a +2 racial bonus on Perception skill checks.  
_• Weapon Familiarity:_ Phooka are proficient with longbows (including composite longbows), saps, shortbows (including composite shortbows), switchblade knives and war razors, and treat any weapon with the word “elven” in its name as a martial weapon.  
_• Languages:_ Phooka begin play speaking Common and High Elven. Phooka with high Intelligence scores can choose from the following: Draconic, Dwarven, Gnoll, Gnome, Goblin, Orc, and Sylvan.  


Appearance:  
Phooka have skin and hair in warm, fiery shades of red, yellow and orange. Their hair matches their skin, and is sometimes accompanied with feathers; their eyes have black or dark blue irises, and cat-like slit pupils. Phooka are thin and light, rarely putting on much weight no matter how much they eat, and are on average shorter than most other elves.

Society:  
Phooka are the survivors, born of the harsh places of the world; the deserts, the high mountains, the snowy wastes and the stormy seas. From there they have travelled to every horizon, thriving wherever they go but rarely settling. This has brought them into conflict with more sedentary civilisations, for whom land and ownership have different meanings. Sour reputations and bad blood follow the Phooka, who tread carefully where they have historically been unwelcome.

Most Phooka clans still live nomadically in the Sunblessed Lands, where trade cities such as Akatoll provide neutral ground. These cities are renowned for their life, verve and danger; Phooka are drawn to music, colour and sensation, and the larger the gathering the more intense it becomes. Phooka travel to all corners of their home continent, even across the Diamond Desert, in bright tents and caravans. When they build permanent structures they favour low, sprawling settlements, with flat roofs and awnings. It is said that a Phooka is never truly happy unless they can see the horizon ahead and the sky above.

Phooka rarely track any kind of ancestry or parentage; for a Phooka, the guardian who raises you is your kin, and family is where you find it. As a people they value personal freedom and choice, and consider hospitality, charity, and good sense to be the highest of virtues. Phooka take what they want, give generously of what they have, and look out for their own. Treat fairly with them and they will treat fairly with you... but betrayal will be met with revenge, most likely when you least expect it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Valentine's day!
> 
> The last couple of weeks have been... interesting. My computer asplode, which took a week and a half to get sorted. Happily we were overdue a filler chapter, because like hell was I getting a real chapter written in time for this update!
> 
> That said, I have good news and bad news. The good news is I passed my driving test, so I won't be stressing about that any more! The bad news (for you guys at least) is that I'm getting married in two weeks. So I'm skipping two updates, one for the wedding and one for the honeymoon. The plus side of this is that once I'm married I won't be stressing out about that either, and happy writers are productive writers!
> 
> This all does mean that the next update is due on Sunday 20th March, which is a bit of a wait... but if all goes to plan, I won't be getting married again this lifetime, so it is a one-off. ;)
> 
> I'd also like to leave you with this bit of amazing fanart that I was left in the last fortnight, to go with chapter 50. Thanks to [trecorde](http://trecorde.deviantart.com/) for this!
> 
> **[Mother of Monsters](http://trecorde.deviantart.com/art/Mother-Of-Monsters-586599182)**.


	134. ==> INTERLUDE: Be The Bad Guy

## ==> INTERLUDE: Be The Bad Guy

\-- undyingUmbrage [uu] began jeering loneGuardian [LG] at 0̴̣̻͉̘̣̪͒̑̎6҉͎̘̫:̞̝̐͋̿̑̀1̼̩̗͇͓̼̄͒͂ͬͤͭ7̟͕͂̿͛ͣ̂̽̅ --  
uu: HEY. LOSER.  
uu: I AM TALKING TO YOu.  
uu: I DEMAND THAT YOu ANSWER. BECAuSE I AM YOuR GOD.  
LG: Interesting.  
LG: What drives that assertion?  
LG: I have given you no indication of religious inclination.  
LG: Particularly not where your divinity is concerned.  
uu: HAH. YOu THINK I CAN BE FOOLED. BY CLEVER WORDS.  
uu: I SEE THE TRuTH. YOu WANT POWER.  
uu: I AM POWER.  
uu: YOu WILL FOLLOW ME.  
LG: A simplistic summation of my motives.  
LG: Accurate enough for the moment.  
LG: How are the plans progressing?  
uu: MY PLANS ARE FLAWLESS. AS ALWAYS.  
uu: THESE FOOLS DO NOT EVEN REALISE. THAT THEY ARE PLAYING MY GAME. AGAINST A MASTER. NO LESS.  
uu: IT IS ALMOST BORING.  
uu: I WOuLD BE DEPRESSED THAT I CONSIDERED ANY OF THESE uSELESS FLESH LuMPS WORTHY. BuT. DEPRESSION IS FOR FEMALES. AND FOR MEN WHO ARE. BY NATuRE. LITTLE BITCHES.  
LG: Thank you for reminding me why I loathe you.  
uu: I AM INCLuDING YOu. IN THE LATTER CATEGORY.  
uu: THIS IS WHY. I DO NOT DESTROY YOu. FOR YOuR INSOLENCE. TO A GOD.  
uu: IT WOuLD BE TOO EASY.  
LG: I understand that you have a need to posture and declaim your superiority.  
LG: It is probably vital to your continued psychological health and emotional well-being.  
LG: I fully support you in keeping your spirits up.  
LG: That said.  
LG: If you cross me or do anything to risk this plan?  
LG: I will end you.  
uu: YOu LACK. THE MEANS.  
uu: IF YOu HAD THE POWER. TO DESTROY ME. YOu WOuLD NOT HAVE SOuGHT ME. TO BEGIN WITH.  
uu: YOuR WEAKNESS. IS OBVIOuS.  
LG: It is true I lack your powers of destruction.  
LG: Still.  
LG: Do not mistake my blunt statement for empty threat.  
LG: Every aspect of this has been planned.  
LG: Every contingency has been mapped.  
LG: Every possible permutation considered.  
LG: Failure has been eliminated as an option.  
LG: You are a high-risk ally and potential cause of failure.  
LG: Do you really think you would have been recruited if I was not completely certain of our capacity to shut you down?  
uu: I AM GOING TO KILL YOu.  
uu: THIS IS NOT A THREAT. IT IS AN IMMuTABLE FACT. WHICH I AM STATING. FOR THE RECORD.  
LG: I am sorry to tell you that I had it recorded long before we met.  
LG: In fact I am rather relying on it.  
uu: YOu REFER TO OuR PuPPET.  
LG: Yes.  
LG: He is performing adequately?  
uu: HE IS SLOW. AND DOES MANY uNNECESSARY ACTIONS. WHICH DO NOT FuRTHER OuR GOALS.  
uu: I WOuLD WORK FASTER.  
LG: I am sure you would.  
LG: According to our predictions the Lunar Lords should have begun to interfere by now.  
LG: Are they on schedule?  
uu: YES. IT IS SICKENING.  
uu: THEY ARE STILL CAuGHT uP. IN THEIR DISGuSTING *ROMANCES*. AND *FRIENDSHIPS*.  
uu: IT IS PATHETIC. HOW THEY THINK. THEY HAVE GONE uNNOTICED.  
uu: BuT THE NECESSARY KNOWLEDGE HAS BEEN IMPARTED.  
LG: Then it is time to launch the next phase.  
LG: Once the Vessel is in place you can begin.  
LG: Remember to leave anything with a direct effect on the Prime Material until last.  
LG: Under the circumstances I doubt anyone will care if a few wizards start crying about demiplanes.  
LG: They might notice if magic stops working altogether.  
uu: THERE IS A HuMAN PHRASE. FOR THE THING THAT YOu ARE DOING.  
uu: TEACHING YOuR DECREPIT FEMALE ANCESTOR. TO SuCKLE. ON AVIAN OVuLATIONS.  
uu: IT IS A DISGuSTING PHRASE.  
uu: AND IF THE OLD BITCH. CANNOT EAT REAL FOOD. LET HER DIE.  
LG: Remember your business and I will not lecture you on it.  
uu: YOu THINK. THAT YOu ARE BETTER THAN ME.  
uu: YOu ARE NOT. IT IS ME. WHO IS BETTER.  
uu: STILL. YOu ARE A KILLER. WHO IS NOT AFRAID TO IMPOSE HIS WILL. ON OTHERS. I ADMIRE THAT ABOuT YOu.  
uu: POWER. CONTROL. DOMINATION.  
LG: I want more than that.  
uu: YES. EXACTLY.  
uu: WE ARE ALIKE.  
LG: We are nothing alike.  
uu: TRuE.  
uu: I AM MORE CLEVER THAN YOu. AND BETTER LOOKING. AND MORE SuCCESSFuL. AND MY BITCHES ARE MORE OBEDIENT.  
LG: Your "bitches" are undead shells entirely subservient to your will.  
LG: You didn't even raise them yourself.  
uu: TECHNICALITIES.  
uu: YOu ARE A PALE IMITATION. OF EVERYTHING I AM.  
uu: THERE IS NO TRuE COMPARISON BETWEEN US. I AM THE MASTER. WHICH MAKES YOu LESSER.  
uu: YOu CANNOT NAME ONE THING YOu HAVE. WHICH I DO NOT HAVE MORE OF. OR HAVE BETTER.  
LG: Untrue.  
LG: I have one thing you have never possessed.  
uu: ONE WORTHLESS THING.  
LG: Friends are not worthless.  
LG: Get this done.  
\-- loneGuardian [LG] logged off at 0̶̤̱̫ͨ̓6̞̩͈̙͇̘̻͑:̰̞̠1͖̼̱̿7͈̲̬̞͉̹͒͑̓̍́ --

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Caliborn is a shit and LG does not like him. But what is this plan of which they speak? Find out (sometime) on... THE LAND OF DRAGONS AND DUNGEONS!
> 
> ~
> 
> Hey again everyone! I am now married! And way less stressed than I was beforehand. :) Still getting back in the writing swing, so I figured I would give you this... it's easier on me to write, but gives you all something to chew on.
> 
> Thank you everyone for the messages of congratulation. I think you might be the best bunch of readers a fanfic writer could ask for, and I am always amazed when another person reads through this monster of a fic to join us!


	135. ==> Terezi: Bear Witness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Hero point votes:**  
>  Jane 1
> 
>  **Current Hero Points:**  
>  John 3/5, Rose 2/5, ~~Dave 3/3,~~ Jade 2/3  
>  Karkat 3/5, Gamzee 2/3, Terezi 4/5  
> Sollux 2/3, Aradia 2/3, ~~Kanaya 5/5~~  
>  Jane 2/5, Jake 3/5, Roxy 2/3, ~~Dirk 3/3~~

## ==> Terezi: Bear Witness

You do not interfere as the young aasimar attacks his aelfen imposter. This is a matter between the two of them; Dirk, you are certain, means only to teach Tamlin a lesson about the dangers of deception.

You are proven right when Dirk's first swing is restrained. Perhaps someone with less martial training and experience than yourself would miss it. Tamlin certainly does. He reacts to the bruise Dirk leaves with the blunt side of his blade by slashing back. His blade is fast and sure. You aren't entirely sure you could get past his guard, and when he pulls back Dirk is bleeding.

“What is- oh dear.” Kanaya has emerged from her tent and looks deeply concerned. Jane isn't far behind her, and the caravan door creaks open.

“Hey, douche,” says Dave, sounding unconcerned as he leans in the doorway. “Kick his ass, bro.”

Dirk's mouth quirks in what would be a smile on anyone else, and he steps back. His odd sword raises, and then there is a flash of magic. You cackle as he starts to flicker, almost ghostly. Tamlin's next strike flies through him and it knocks the aelfen off-balance, sending the following blow wide.

“Think you make a good me?” Dirk asks.

“I was sent by the Lady Regulus!” Tamlin replies, dodging away from Dirk's blows and wincing as one passes through him without harm. “She wanted me to get close, to keep an eye on you all!” His slim blade lashes out and another bloody line appears on Dirk's sleeve; you are impressed. You consider yourself a fine swordswoman, but here you think you are outclassed.

“Why?” Dirk's sword connects this time, but it skitters on Tamlin's armour. “What do the Lunar Lords know? What do they want from us?”

“To help you. Warn you.” Tamlin pushes Dirk back. You lean on your swordcane, enjoying the show. Kanaya, taking her cues from you, has edged around to stand next to you. Jane is still looking from you to Dave and back again, and you can tell she wants to intervene but isn't sure how.

“Warn us of what?” Dirk lashes out and suddenly Tamlin's armour is sliced open, his chest exposed. He drops his swords, raising his hands in surrender.

“The Great Destroyer has been freed,” he says.

“You're going to have to come up with a bit more of an explanation than that,” says Jane, arms folded. Dave hovers next to her, still radiating smugness.

“Such as who or what is this _Great Destroyer,”_ you add.

Tamlin shakes his head. “I don't know. She didn't tell me! She said you knew!”

“Not me,” Dave says. He looks over at Kanaya. “How about you? Any super-secret drow legends to share with the troupe? Could do with a good story, something with a useful moral in it for little baby gods still sucking on their sacramental binkies.”

“I am afraid I cannot offer up anything of the sort.” Kanaya frowns. “Perhaps this is one of those things that we know without our knowledge as a legacy of our incipient deityhood.”

You all consider this.

“Well, that's bullshit,” says Dave. You are inclined to agree, but sadly you suspect Kanaya is right.

Dirk sheathes his sword. “We could try to-”

The world trembles. You sway, then lurch as it shakes again. The air swells and the ground bucks; you see Dave and Jane lurch into one another as you, Kanaya and Tamlin go sprawling. Dirk is the only one who keeps his footing, but there's blood pouring from his nose. Your own skull feels like it was squashed in a vice. The world has gone bright and quiet. You blink, but the effect doesn't fade.

“Gods above!” Tamlin has gone pale, his own nose bleeding. He points up at the sky and you forget your pounding head as you look at the gaping hole overhead. It's round, the size of a coin in perspective, edged with arcane light that burns in your vision. Like fire smouldering through parchment it eats away reality and you hesitate, Incorruptable not quite drawn, as you wonder what can be done to fight this off.

For a moment you waver. Is this... are you too late?

Tamlin screams and grabs for his shoulder. His fingers claw at a shirt that's crumbling away, burning with green fire. You barely spare him a glance as Jane and Kanaya rush towards him with healing at their fingertips before your gaze turns back to the growing hole in the sky. It's hypnotic.

Then it flares.

You scream as the light burns into your skull. You slam your hands over your eyes, pain a thousand times worse than your first glimpse of daylight drilling through your skull. The world is red and white and fading, pulsing around you, and then you come back to yourself and you're lying on the ground with hands on you. You try to open your eyes, only to discover that they are already open.

“Terezi!” It's Kanaya, her hand on your shoulder. She smells of parchment and earth and hot metal, and you never realised it before. “Terezi, what is the matter?”

“I can't see.” You try again to open your eyes. “I can't...”

You are aware that you should be horrified, afraid, panicked. You feel healing magic wash over you and are completely unsurprised when it fails to fix a thing.

“The cure spell isn't working,” says Jane, a note of panic in her voice. “What do we do?”

“I can pray for a healing spell that will work on such afflictions,” says Kanaya. “But it will take a day or so.”

“Not sure we have that time,” says Dirk. “They're coming.”

“Who's coming?” you ask, already turning your head, trying to learn what you can. You can hear a shuffling sound, smell a distant waft of something rotten and muddy.

“Terezi, listen,” says Jane. “That hole in the sky, it filled in. There's something up there... I don't know what. It's too bright for a moon, dimmer than the sun. And... it...”

“It has a face,” says Tamlin. He sounds faint.

“And I can't see.” You start staggering to your feet, supported by your friends. “This could be inconvenient.”

“It's a bit more than that!” Jane sounds very upset. She... smells upset, too? It's a watery smell, salt and bitter.

“Inconvenient,” you say, firmly. You turn towards where you think Dirk is. Was. Is? “I assume we do not want to meet the oncoming horde of decomposing, shuffling individuals?”

Beside you, Kanaya stiffens. “How did you-”

“Ask later,” says Dirk. “Get her in the caravan. We gotta move.”

As they hustle you forwards, you realise that one voice has been missing. “Where's Dave?”

They don't stop moving, leading and dragging you over unseen ground, but their silence speaks louder than a shout.

“He's gone,” says Jane. “Not dead. Just... gone.”

Your heart drops. You keep moving. The stench of the oncoming undead is stronger by the second. And, although you hate yourself for it, you say what you know to be truth.

“We need to be gone too.”

### Suggestions Used

 _NeverTheHero -_ Terezi: Smell a smell. A smelly smell, that smells.... smelly.

 _gutza1 -_ Undead Remnants of Lord English: Turn out to be a negative-energy infused moon that approaches a planet, causes its inhabitants to be overwhelmed by the newly zombified dead, and eventually pulls a Majora's Mask on the planet (the official art of Atropus even gives him a face), turning it into a lifeless husk. Good luck, demigods!

 _J-Rook -_ Light of the Alternative Sun: Blind the living, Raise the dead

[System Notes](http://celynbrum.tumblr.com/post/142191981785/lodad-system-notes-chapter-135)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Muah hah hah hah haa!


	136. ==> John: Meet A Prior Acquaintance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Hero point votes:**  
>  Jane 1  
> Karkat 1
> 
>  **Current Hero Points:**  
>  John 3/5, Rose 2/5, ~~Dave 3/3,~~ Jade 2/3  
>  Karkat 3/5, Gamzee 2/3, Terezi 4/5  
> Sollux 2/3, Aradia 2/3, ~~Kanaya 5/5~~  
>  Jane 2/5, Jake 3/5, Roxy 2/3, ~~Dirk 3/3~~

## ==> John: Meet A Prior Acquaintance

You've never been completely okay around any clerics, what with your mark and all, but the Church of Heart is the one you always took pains to avoid. There is something hugely creepy about seeing a squad of armed and armoured figures, faces covered by identical brass masks, march past. They were always law-abiding and polite. Just creepy.

Being surrounded by them now is not filling you with warm fuzzy feelings. You're on edge, out of sorts, stuck on a lifetime of parental warnings that clerics will carry you off if they find out. Honestly, if your curiosity hadn't pushed you to befriend Rose, you'd have a phobia about this.

The paladin who was assigned to guard you turns her head slowly. A blank mask scans across the line of you hugging the bench. You shiver. So. Creepy.

Karkat elbows you in the ribs. He doesn't hold back; you're going to have a bruise. "Stop squirming, shitpate. You look as guilty as a pickpocket in a fucking vault."

"What?" You frown. "Why would a pickpocket be in a vault?"

"'S all up and to being the motherfucking point, my Windy brother," says Gamzee, who in your opinion looks more guilty than basically anyone, ever. Not in the sense of having remorse, but in the sense that you sort of want to arrest him all the time, especially since he looks like he thoroughly enjoyed it. Whatever it was.

Ugh. You shake your head to try and clear it. You're finding it hard to focus, which is probably because you are bored and worried and...

Roxy's hand rests over yours and you share a smile. Okay. At least the company isn't bad.

"Could you tell us how much longer this is likely to take?" Rose asks, her voice carrying through the common room of the hostel. Several masked figures look around. One, a robed man, comes over and goes to one knee.

"Our apologies, your worship," he says and welp, there goes any hope you had that Rose hadn't been recognised. "We have sent for the commander. She should be able to explain matters."

"Oh, no," says Roxy. "Nope. You are not making us wait for the fanciest pants!" She waggles a finger at the assembled troops. “You are explaining or we are leaving!”

“My lady...”

“You will refer to my sister as you would me,” says Rose. “With the correct appelations.”

The robed man seems taken aback. You think. There's still a mask in the way. “My apologies, Your Worship. But we have a duty to perform.”

“Well, is there anything you can tell us?” you ask. “Or at least get us a change of scenery, _please.”_

“One moment,” the man says. He gives a small bow then crosses to a knot of his buddies. There is a hasty whispered conversation.

“Remind me why we're sticking around this top-shelf beetleshit boredom dispensery again?” Karkat asks.

“They're just doing their jobs,” you hiss back. “We don't want to start a fight, or hurt anyone!”

“Oh, _we_ don't?” Karkat glowers at you. “Did _we_ take a fucking vote on that? Because I'd like a recount.”

“Hey, Karkit, be chill,” whispers Roxy over your shoulder. “'S not their fault.”

“We do not know what is happening, yet,” Rose says.

The robed man comes back over. “We can't give you more information without orders,” he says. “But if you'll follow me, it might be to your advantage.”

You look over at Roxy, bemused, and she shrugs. Getting to her feet she offers you a hand, which you take, and the two of you lead your rag-tag and occasionally grumpy companions after the man. He takes you out of the hostel into a yard filled with people in Heart armour and robes. You can't even tell species on most of them, although one or two have horns rising above their masks. Some of them look in your direction, but most have their eyes turned outwards and their weapons close to hand. You can see the mountains in the distance. There's something ominous about the way they sit against the sky.

Your guide leads you into a stable. At least, you think it's a barn. You're a city boy and the stalls remind you more of a stable, but there aren't any horses and the stalls seem big. It looks like the place has been converted into a field hospital; there are cots everywhere, occupied by bandaged and bloody troops. Healers scurry back and forth with potions and basins of water.

In the last stall, surrounded by armed and armoured Heart paladins, is a familiar looking Aelfen.

"Baldur?" you blurt. He waves to you, a little sheepish. His robes are torn and muddy, and he's scraped up, but you don't see any serious injuries.

Karkat scowls. "Wait, this is the asshole you met in the cave with the mask? The one who was all fucking cryptic and unhelpful and vanished when you got your asses hauled out of the shit by a dragon- which, by the way, I am still convinced you made up."

"Yeah, that's totes him," says Roxy. Her eyes are narrow and there's a knife in her hand- where did that even come from? She waggles is threateningly at Baldur. "We want some answers from you, mister!"

One of the Heart paladins reaches out and rests a hand on her arm- not pushing, but ready to. "Your Worship, please refrain from threatening the patient. He is under our protection."

Baldur holds up his hands. "It's my fault, honestly!"

"That, we are not disputing," Rose says.

Baldur looks away, his hands dropping again. "I'm sorry. I should have been more straight with you from the beginning."

He looks pretty upset, actually. You think about how insistent the paladins have been about keeping you here, the silent road, and the damage to his clothing.

"What happened?" you ask. There's an uncomfortable feeling in your guts. The paladins all shift and look at one another.

"The commander-" one starts.

"The Starspire is dead," Baldur blurts. There is a brief stunned silence.

"Planning to fucking clarify on that?" Karkat asks. "Or is our current dumbstruck gawking what it takes to get your rocks off?"

Roxy elbows him in the ribs, but it does nothing to stop Gamzee's low chuckle from filling the room. Baldur covers his eyes with a hand.

"I was travelling back to consult with the Elders," he says, voice shaking. "The way was quiet, but I didn't realise... I was halfway up the mountain when I encountered them. Priests, pilgrims, dead and rotting and animated by unholy power. I... I ran. I barely escaped."

It's hard to know what to say to that. You all look at each other in mute, embarrassed sympathy. Except Gamzee, who is still chuckling.

"There are things I need to tell you," says Baldur. "Things about the Starspire, the purpose of the Order-"

"That's enough," said a voice from the doorway. Looking around, you see a masked woman whose armour is a grade above the other troops around you. She marches over and even though you can't see her face, her whole body is frowning. “We are trying to keep these events contained. We don't need a panic.”

“You don't think a panic might be warranted?” Rose asks, dryly.

“Pilgrims are turned back before they are in any danger,” the Commander says. “Knowing the situation would encourage violence, looting, and recklessness. That benefits no-one.”

You can't say that you don't understand the theory, but just hearing her talk makes you angry. She's... smug, is what! “What if you can't contain it?” you ask. “If there really are undead up there and they get past you, way more people could die! You need to start a controlled evacuation!”

The mask turns towards you. You get the distinct impression that the Commander is not impressed by your ideas. Well, that's fine, because you are not very impressed by hers!

“We have the situation under control,” she says. “Now, we need to talk about your-”

That is the moment that the whole world chooses to buck under your feet. You fall hard, but not as hard as Rose, who lands against the stall partition with a _crack!_ Gamzee lands beside you, looking almost comically surprised. Your head feels like it's been hit with a hammer- with two hammers, one on each side.

Karkat's nose is bleeding, and the Commander has a hand pressed against her head.

“What the-” The Commander shakes her head, then points to a nearby paladin. “Get out there and find out what's going on!”

“Commander!” Another of the Heart paladins appears at the door. “The sky! You have to see this!”

Behind him, the sky lights up. You barely have time to turn and shade your eyes before it fills the stable, the whole world. It burns against your skin. You can hear screams from outside and then the light is gone, the world is back to normal... except there is still shouting and screaming from outside.

“To arms!” yells a voice in the yard. “We stand!”

The Commander draws her sword and starts for the door, her strides a hair short of running. “Fight with us or take your chances!” she barks. You reach for your hammer and draw it on the move, not stopping to check who else is following. There's no need; you know your friends are with you.

In the door, you pause to look at the strange sight above you. A new moon hangs in the sky, almost as bright as a second sun, but still dim enough that you can clearly see the leering, skull-like face on its surface. The light it casts seems cold, unnatural.

“At the gate!” shouts a voice, and you turn to see a wall of walking dead approaching the hostel from all sides. The Church of Heart were ready for an assault, but not a sudden one, and more than a third of them are clutching at their faces. Their prepared defence is in shambles and they're scrambling to get another in place.

You heft your hammer and, grinning, charge.

[System Notes](http://celynbrum.tumblr.com/post/142958787540/lodad-system-notes-chapter-136)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this is the first LODAD update since the end of Homestuck, and also the 100th story chapter. I thought I should let John narrate for the occasion!
> 
> For those who have asked or were planning to ask: I am considering what the End of Homestuck means for LODAD, but I'm not sure what will happen yet. There won't be any retcons- I've never changed more than the most glaring errors on this fic- but I might alter some future plans accordingly. Understanding the story arc of Homestuck and how that intersects with the story I've been telling is still ongoing!
> 
> Speaking of the End of Homestuck, there are some great theories floating about out there!
> 
> [Here](http://stormingtheivorytower.blogspot.co.uk/2012/12/seer-of-light-ascend-why-homestuck-is.html) is an essay predating the end of Homestuck, pointing out parallels to Gnostic mythology/cosmology (interesting context!).
> 
> [Here](http://bladekindeyewear.tumblr.com/post/142485522174/theorynexus-dahniwitchoflight-alright-so-i) is an idea about jujus and how they have been functioning all along.
> 
> [Here](http://not-terezi-pyrope.tumblr.com/post/142820056331/how-lord-englishs-defeat-was-achieved) is a nifty interpretation of how the characters defeated Lord English.
> 
> [Here](http://wakraya.tumblr.com/post/142892873155/homestuck-meta-theory) is an analysis of Homestuck as a whole, suggesting an interpretation of the story that fits nicely with these other links here!
> 
> If anyone else comes across any awesome theories, let me know and I'll add 'em to the list!
> 
> Fandom: Be Free!


	137. -- ELVEN SUBTYPE: HODEKIN --

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Hero point votes:**  
>  Jane 3  
> Karkat 1
> 
> JANE GAINS ONE HERO POINT! (Happy belated birthday, Jane!)  
> Voting now open for the next Hero Point award: one person will get one after three chapters. 
> 
> **Current Hero Points:**  
>  John 3/5, Rose 2/5, ~~Dave 3/3,~~ Jade 2/3  
>  Karkat 3/5, Gamzee 2/3, Terezi 4/5  
> Sollux 2/3, Aradia 2/3, ~~Kanaya 5/5~~  
>  Jane 3/5, Jake 3/5, Roxy 2/3, ~~Dirk 3/3~~

## HODEKIN

Also known as Wood Elves, the Hodekin are elves hatched by magic from the Plane of Earth. Secretive and nature-loving, they are oft spoken of and rarely seen, considered near-mythical by those who live far from their forest homes. Strong in will and body, they were the first druids, and those less magically inclined often become rangers or barbarians.

_• +2 Strength, +2 Wisdom, –2 Intelligence:_ Hodekin are physically powerful and worldly-wise, but are no academics.   
_• Medium:_ Hodekin are Medium creatures and have no bonuses or penalties due to their size.   
_• Normal Speed:_ Hodekin have a base speed of 30 feet.   
_• Low-Light Vision:_ Hodekin can see twice as far as normal in conditions of dim light (see low-light vision).   
_• Elven Immunities:_ Hodekin are immune to magic sleep effects and get a +2 racial saving throw bonus against enchantment spells and effects.   
_• Woodcraft:_ Hodekin know the deep secrets of the wild like no others, especially those of the forests. They gain a +1 bonus on Knowledge (nature) and Survival checks. In forest terrain, these bonuses improve to +2.   
_• Keen Senses:_ Hodekin receive a +2 racial bonus on Perception skill checks.   
_• Poison Use:_ Hodekin are skilled in the use of poison and never risk accidentally poisoning themselves. Hodekin favour an fast-acting toxin that weakens and paralyses its victims, the better to further investigate interlopers.   
_• Weapon Familiarity:_ Hodekin are proficient with blowguns, javelins, longbows (including composite longbows), pilums and shortbows (including composite shortbows), and treat any weapon with the word “elven” in its name as a martial weapon.   
_• Languages:_ Hodekin begin play speaking Sylvan and High Elven. Hodekin with high Intelligence scores can choose from the following: Aklo, Common, Draconic, Gnoll, Gnome, Goblin, Orc and Treant.

Appearance  
Hodekin reflect the plants around them, with skin in shades between deep brown and vibrant green, and hair the colours of leaves and flowers. Their eyes eyes have green or brown irises, usually but not always similar to their skin, and cat-like slit pupils. Hodekin are the heaviest and broadest of the elven races; those who are physically active usually have well-developed and obvious musculature, which lends them a distinct physical presence.

Society  
Hodekin are the guardians, self-appointed protectors and wardens of the places they choose to settle. Few of them wander, but those who do travel far indeed, and so Hodekin live the world over although they can rarely be found. In most places they are considered legend; only those who live near their wilderness homes meet them, and then fleetingly. A few tell tales of tree-cities glimpsed in the forest, or war bands marching by night, but most who have seen them and lived to tell of it remain tight-lipped as if oath-sworn.

The first home of the Hodekin was and is within the Whispering Forest, the southernmost of the Twins, the double landmasses south of the Pirate Straits. Few dare venture deep enough into the continent-spanning forest to find the elusive elves in their own land, but they are a common sight in the Tuatha-built city of Hintta, where they come to trade with outsiders and watch arriving adventurers. The world over, Hodekin dwell in the depths of forests and jungles, growing their homes amongst the eldest trees and protecting their solitude from all invaders. Most Hodekin settlements are small or even solitary, but they are rarely far apart, and in some cases an entire forest can become a sprawling city of sorts, with elegant shelters woven from the living trees or disguised as mere humps in the ground. Few travellers realise how close they come to the Hodekin.

Hodekin will often exchange eggs with their more-distant neighbours, both as a means to maintain bonds with distant kin and to prevent excessive inbreeding. They view their children as apprentices as much as offspring, and consider it a solemn responsibility to teach them everything they need to know to make their own way in the world. Some outsiders claim to have been present at great gatherings of Hodekin, strange moonlit festivals where the canopy glowed with the light of will 'o the wisps and every stream flowed with amber mead. The truth of these tales is a secret known only to the Hodekin themselves. Nonetheless, if a visitor is polite and honest, and does not harm the natural world around them, they are likely to find a Hodekin to be curious and friendly. If they are not, then they are unlikely to find a Hodekin at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yet more elf subtypes!
> 
> Starting next week, real life events mean that I have slightly more time, so hopefully I can manage more combat and level-up chapters. Yay! Although real life is also crazy busy because my friend is getting married and I am in the wedding party. I will try to give advance notice if updates will be late, but basically EVERYTHING IS ON FIRE AND FULL OF BEES so I'm a bit disorganised at the moment.
> 
> Thank you everyone for your comments and suggestions! They keep the story runnin', after all! :D


	138. -- ELVEN SUBTYPE: MERROW --

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Hero point votes:**  
>  None
> 
>  **Current Hero Points:**  
>  John 3/5, Rose 2/5, ~~Dave 3/3,~~ Jade 2/3  
>  Karkat 3/5, Gamzee 2/3, Terezi 4/5  
> Sollux 2/3, Aradia 2/3, ~~Kanaya 5/5~~  
>  Jane 3/5, Jake 3/5, Roxy 2/3, ~~Dirk 3/3~~
> 
>  
> 
> _Note: this round will be open for one extra week due to the additional filler._

## MERROW

Also known as Aquatic Elves, the Merrow are elves hatched by magic from the Plane of Water. Elusive and tempestuous, they have little to do with other elven races, as their homes lie beneath the waters. Lithe and beautiful to behold, they know little of the surface world and care for it even less, seeking their own wisdom as oracles, bards, and sorcerers.

• _+2 Dexterity, +2 Charisma, –2 Intelligence:_ Merrow are nimble and have great strength of self, but have much less knowledge of the world and its workings.  
• _Medium:_ Merrow are Medium creatures and have no bonuses or penalties due to their size.  
• _Normal Speed:_ Merrow have a base speed of 30 feet.  
• _Subtype:_ Merrow have the aquatic subtype.  
• _Gills:_ Merrow can survive out of the water for 1 hour per point of Constitution (after that, refer to the suffocation rules).  
• _Superior Low-Light Vision:_ Merrow can see four times as far as normal in conditions of dim light (see low-light vision).  
• _Elven Immunities:_ Merrow are immune to magic sleep effects and get a +2 racial saving throw bonus against enchantment spells and effects.  
• _Spirit of the Waters:_ Merrow have adapted to life in tune with the sea or along the reedy depths of wild rivers and lakes. They have a swim speed of 40 feet, gaining a +8 racial bonus on Swim checks to perform a special action or avoid a hazard, and can always take 10 while swimming.  
• _Keen Senses:_ Merrow receive a +2 racial bonus on Perception skill checks.  
• _Weapon Familiarity:_ Merrow are proficient with longspears, tridents, and nets, and treat any weapon with the word “elven” in its name as a martial weapon.  
• _Languages:_ Merrow begin play speaking Aquan and High Elven. Merrow with high Intelligence scores can choose from the following: Aboleth, Celestial, Common, Draconic, Gnome, Goblin, Orc, and Sylvan.

Appearance  
Merrow have white-pale skin with a faint dusting of fishlike scales, and hair that varies from white to deep shades of green, purple and blue. Their large irises are many colours, all pale, and their fingers and toes are webbed. Merrow are tall compared to other elves, and have soft, rounded bodies that often hide unexpected muscle.

Society  
Merrow are the questseekers, at once rulers and discoverers of the world beneath the waves. As the lights of the surface fade new dangers thrive, and there is more than enough below them to content the Merrow with their own problems. Still, some young Merrow make sport of land-dweller ships, or wait on river-banks until travellers pass by. With few challengers for territory, they live the world over, and there are countless stories warning not to trust them- for why should the Merrow be concerned with the opinions of people who cannot hope to find their cities, let alone survive in them?

To call the Merrow a single people would be a lie, for there are thousands of Merrow kingdoms and cultures beneath the water. From the grand canyon cities in the deepest ocean to warring tribes amongst marsh and reeds, they are not one civilisation but many, and to say different would be to do them a disservice. Still, the dangers of the deep water forge alliances, and though they may fight amongst themselves all Merrow know to ally with one another against an external threat. Such truces are sacred, recognised by all Merrow as the will of the moons that rule the tides. In the greatest Merrow city of all, Aur Palas, oaths and promises are considered binding. Other Merrow will come to the city to make agreements, as it is said a deal made there will last a thousand years.

Merrow families are as many and varied as the Merrow themselves. Some Merrow trade eggs in formal arrangements, while others cling jealously to their own hatchlings. In some nations it is considered only good sense to lure or abduct a child-rearing partner from elsewhere, while others consider this practise barbaric. There is a common superstition that a child's fate is determined by their ancestry- be that Merrow or a land-dwelling elf- and whether they believe it or not, most Merrow know the origins of the egg they were hatched from. When grown, a Merrow may choose to remain with their people and pass their ways on to the next generation, or they may choose to leave and seek adventure in the deep. It is these latter Merrow most commonly seen by land-dwellers, and if the surface views them with wonder they view the surface with nothing less.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Today you get another filler chapter, courtesy of the stinking cold I've had for the past four days.
> 
> Apologies for that.


	139. ==> Sollux: Embrace Your Legacy Of Double Death (Part 1/2)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Hero point votes:**  
>  Rose 1  
> Karkat 1
> 
>  **Current Hero Points:**  
>  John 3/5, Rose 2/5, ~~Dave 3/3~~ , Jade 2/3  
> Karkat 3/5, Gamzee 2/3, Terezi 4/5  
> Sollux 2/3, Aradia 2/3, ~~Kanaya 5/5~~  
>  Jane 3/5, Jake 3/5, Roxy 2/3, ~~Dirk 3/3~~

## ==> Sollux: Embrace Your Legacy Of Double Death (Part 1/2)

When your new (elderly, somewhat creepy) guide said you were coming to meet the Old Ones, this was not exactly what you expected.

“They don't exactly look... old,” says Jade. She's biting her lip to hide a smile.

You roll your eyes. “Obviouthly they're not who we're here to thee.” You wave a hand at the young tieflings who are running between the red-leafed trees. A few of them are dangling from ropes that lead up to a house in the branches. Most of them are your age or younger, but all of them are old enough to find their way here from the world above, albeit precociously in some cases.

One little girl comes running out and almost crashes into you. She beams up at you from under a wide-brimmed straw hat, then runs off again, but not before you see her eyes. Yellow, like yours. You look a little closer and see it- red, brown, yellow. Occasionally green. No blue or purple.

“Thith ith a hiding plathe,” you say. “From the atholeth running thith thity, right?”

Your guide nods. “We have a few from every caste, but most are from the lower orders. It is a piece of what we lost, nothing more.”

“But why don't they find you?” Jade asks. “The guards mentioned Her Imperious Condescension. She must know you're here.”

Your guide laughs, her voice as old and cracked as ever. “Oh, she knows. But she doesn't dare come here. None of them do.”

“Becauthe of the Old Oneth,” you guess. “Thure would be nithe to know who they were.”

“You'll meet them soon,” says the old woman. She chuckles again and totters off along the path. After a moment, you follow. She leads you towards the centre of the canyon, past the houses surrounding you. On the way you see more tieflings- older ones, sitting on the grass outside the blocky houses, or crossing the rope bridge that connects the two castles.

“What are all these buildings?” Jade asks, looking around in wonder. You're kind of wondering that yourself, but didn't want to ask.

“Legend says that they are the last pieces of the worlds before,” says your guide. “The only thing in all the planes older than the gods themselves.”

You look at the buildings again, and you find your eyes lingering on a tower in the distance. It looks a little like the rest in the city, but there's something about it that feels familiar. Your eyes are drawn to the top of it, looking for... something.

You are unaccountably disappointed when you see nothing there.

“But who built them?” Jade is asking. “They're all so different!”

“They came long before this,” says your guide, waving a hand to the city that looms overhead. “Before the world, before the planes, before everything but these twelve houses and another eight like them.” She looked back over her shoulder at them. “Do you know how gods are born?”

You open your mouth to point out that gods don't need to be born, that they just are, but the words freeze on your tongue. You want to speak the truth, but you don't know it, and with a yell of frustration you shove at a nearby rock with your magic. It flies off to hit the side of a cave, incongruously sitting alone in the long grass.

“What?” Jade is staring at you.

“I'm thick of thith!” you yell. “I'm thick of... of almotht knowing, and having everything out of reach!”

“Be careful what you wish for,” says your guide. She resumes her journey. You think she's leading you towards the wrecked ship that sits on the edge of a large pool, but she takes the fork away from it and starts spiralling in towards a large hill. You take a moment to think about what this place looked like from above, and realise that you're headed for the direct centre.

“It is said that when the time comes for a world to die, a few are saved,” says your guide. “They are given the opportunity to create a new world, to become more than mortal. To become gods of the world they create.” She gestures to the mismatched buildings around you all. “These were once the homes of the gods who gave life to tieflings.”

Homes. You look again at the distant tower, and again you can almost see it. Almost...

Your guide leads you through a stone archway and onto a winding path that twists up the hillside. At the top, a dark building looms. “Aasimar and tieflings are not what their ancestors once were, on other worlds. They carry gifts from the gods that are their ancestors, and one of those gifts is this place.”

“Sollux,” Jade whispers, and you scowl at her. You don't want to think about the implications of this. Not now.

You crest the hill and the building at the top turns out to be a roundhouse, built of logs and stone. It's put together clumsily and you're pretty sure it's being held up by raw magic in a few places.

“This was the first building they made together,” says your guide, her hand resting on the door. “This... this was the heart of everything that came after.”

“Why did they leave?” Jade asks. You're wondering that yourself.

“Because the young cannot grow if the old block the sunlight,” says your guide. She pushes the door open and leads you inside.

It takes a moment for your eyes to adjust. Inside, the rough and ready hall has been turned into a museum... or an armoury. You step inside with Jade, turning in slow circles to take it all in. Weapons stand on racks like vases on plinths, colourful and bizarre and in some cases incomprehensible. Jade runs her fingers across a suit of armour, sleek and gleaming. You study something that doesn't quite look like a wand or a crossbow.

“This way,” says your guide. She crosses the room to stand by another door. “You must go through here.”

“Won't that jutht lead outthide again?” You walk up the door, and hesitate. You can feel power radiating off it.

“No,” says your guide. She grins, rather toothlessly.

Jade walks up to your shoulder and smiles at you. You smile back and miss Aradia.

“Thank you,” says Jade. “What's your name?”

“Luress,” says your guide. “And tread carefully, young ones.”

“Reathuring,” you mutter, and walk through the door.

Magic runs over your skin. The world turns white. And then you are elsewhere.

“Wow,” breathes Jade. Next to her, Bec huffs in agreement. You turn to take in your surroundings; around you, a formless plain stretches away in every direction. Overhead the sky is black and lined with hairline cracks, through which green light shines.

“Sollux? Jade?”

You turn at the unfamiliar (too familiar) voice, and see a woman standing there. A tiefling dressed in tightly-fitted blue-green and red, her eyes covered in red shading lenses. She's carrying a long wheeled board under her arm.

“It is you!” She runs over and, before you can react, scoops you up in a hug. You go stiff. “This is so totally awesome!”

“Handth off!” You shove her away, magic sparking on your skin, and scramble back towards Jade.

The tiefling looks disappointed, but then brightens and raises a hand. “High five!”

You both stare at her blankly, then Jade raises a hand in mimic of her gesture. The tiefling immediately slaps it, and Jade yelps in pain. You start to reach for your power, and Bec growls.

“Hey, woah, chill out!” The tiefling raises her hands. “No harm, no foul. I'm just so hyped to see you guys!” She hesitates, then peers at you both. “Wait, when did you become elves?”

“What did you ecthpect uth to be?” you ask, at the same time as Jade asks: “How do you know us?”

The tiefling's jaw drops. “Dude, it's me! Latula?” When that gets no reaction from either of you, she adds; “Terezi's dancestor? C'mon!”

“What?” you say, on general principles.

The tiefling, Latula, bows her head and sighs. “Aw, total bummer. You don't remember.”

“I'm sorry?” says Jade.

“I don't thee why we need to apologithe,” you say.

“Guess you don't,” says Latula. She still looks disappointed.

“How do you know Terezi?” Jade asks.

Latula brightens. “I said, I'm her dancestor!” She drops the wheeled board and jumps onto it. “C'mon! The others are gonna want to see you!”

“What?” you say again, but she kicks off and starts zooming across the empty plain. Jade looks at you and, with a shrug, takes off running after her.

“I hate thith,” you mutter, and start running after them, trying not to remember how Aradia would have held your hand and dragged you along.

_TO BE CONTINUED..._

### Suggestions Used

 _TheBookwormBakery -_ Any/all pre-scratch trolls: Somehow make an appearance (probably as NPCs or something), if only to irritate the heck out of the grumpier characters.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WHAT IS THIS!?!
> 
> Well, my friends are getting married in two weeks, and I am a wedding minion, so I've had a lot of stuff to do and I'll have a lot more.
> 
> I figured that making a two-part update would a) give me a little less work and b) make sure you guys got a better result. So here's my first two-parter chapter! :)
> 
> Thank you to everyone who wished me well last update- I really did feel pretty crappy, and the good vibes were much appreciated.


	140. ==> Sollux: Embrace Your Legacy Of Double Death (Part 2/2)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **TAGS UPDATED: Implied Child Abuse**  
>  Implied pretty heavy-handedly, too. FYI.
> 
>  **Hero point votes:**  
>  Rose 1  
> Karkat 1
> 
>  **Current Hero Points:**  
>  John 3/5, Rose 2/5, ~~Dave 3/3,~~ Jade 1/3  
>  Karkat 3/5, Gamzee 2/3, Terezi 4/5  
> Sollux 2/3, Aradia 2/3, ~~Kanaya 5/5~~  
>  Jane 3/5, Jake 3/5, Roxy 2/3, ~~Dirk 3/3~~

## ==> Sollux: Embrace Your Legacy Of Double Death (Part 2/2)

As you run after Latula, you notice several things.

Firstly, you're not having any trouble keeping up with her. She's going pretty fast on that wheeled board and she's too far ahead for you to slow, but she never quite seems to pull out of sight. Your breathing stays even and your muscles don't ache. It's more like running in a dream, a constant mental push to stay within sight of Latula without any of the physical effort.

Secondly, the scenery around you is both changing and unchanging. At no point do you pass any landmarks, any fluctuations in terrain- even the sky remains static, your perspective to it constant. And yet as you move you see flickers, small flashes of ghosts in the corners of your eyes, moments when the packed earth under your feet is grass or tile or some black, hard stone.

Lastly, when you glance back, there is no sign of the door you entered by. Even at this distance you should see something. The plain is too flat and too clear for it to be gone already.

It's the last realisation that brings you to a halt, frowning at your surroundings. Jade runs a bit further before she realises, calling Bec to heel as she turns back towards you.

“Sollux?”

“Thomething'th wrong,” you say, turning slowly around to take in your surroundings. “Thith plathe... I don't think it'th ethactly real.” You're not sure how better to put it. Your brain vaguely conjures up half-forgotten references to self-contained highly morphic planes, but you never found a book that actually explained that shit, and you doubt you'll get a better explanation from someone who was literally raised by wolves. The whole place feels like a paper-thin backdrop, or like you're standing on the surface of a pond. As soon as the water realises it isn't earth, you might fall through.

Jade looks back towards Latula. Where Latula was, which is now an empty horizon. “What do we do?”

You feel the laughter before you hear it. It's loud and raucuous and it makes you want to break things. With a low growl, you lash out mentally, trying to punch through the surface of the water. You bounce off as if you've hit a wall. For a moment the world around you flickers and you catch sight of trees before it rights itself. They weren't the trees you were thinking of.

Jade's face is still scrunched in concentration. Here, in this place, you can actually see green light shimmer and crackle around her as her focus deepens. It comes with a familiar yet still alien sense of voids and stars, and you realise that you are literally witnessing the power of a god in the instant before the plain is ripped away and the two of you are left standing in a forest grove.

Given the lushness of the plants and the wolf den off to the side, you think this must be a facsimile of Jade's home, but the assholes surrounding you are a more immediate concern.

“You followed,” says Latula, grinning. “Rad.”

She has one arm slung around a man who cackles. It's the same manic laugh you heard before, and now that you can see him your blood is cold. Like all of them he's a tiefling and his clothes are as strange as hers. He wears yellow and black, with a bizarre helmet at his feet. His hair is a black birds-nest tangle and poking out of it...

You reach up and touch your own, identical double-horns. He's got your teeth, your nose- you're more angular, elf-blood and early starvation, but this could be your tiefling brother.

“Sollux, look,” Jade whispers, and as you look around you see them. A stubby-horned, sneering tiefling in red who looks too much like Karkat. A painted nightmare with tall horns who makes you think of Gamzee. Kanaya's face above- wow, okay, those are some impressive- and Latula, who does look very much like Terezi now that her grin has set into a row of sharp, gleaming teeth.

You almost don't see the woman lurking in the shadows of the tree, but she shifts to take a deep drag on some small, smoking object in her hand and the light glints on her horns. Rams horns, curled like snail-shells against her black hair. Her face is familiar.

“Aradia?” you blurt, before you can stop yourself. She turns towards you and you feel like a complete idiot. She's not Aradia. Aradia doesn't dress like that, lets her hair loose instead of binding it up, smiles where this woman glares. Aradia's eyes are red, not blank white.

“You really don't remember, huh?” A grey arm slings around your shoulder and you twitch back, away from the blank-eyed man who has somehow sneaked up on you. His horns are crooked, his hair slick with grease, and his smirk alone has every alarm bell in your head ringing even before he walks the fingers of his free hand up your arm. “Nevermind, champ, we'll help you out.”

“Thtop touching me or I'll thet you on fire,” you say. You try to shake him off, but he's like a limpet. A really creepy limpet.

“He kinda looks like you, 'Tuna.” The guy is ignoring you even as he keeps stroking your arm. Now your stomach is roiling with anger as well as disgust. “Only, you know, cuter. It's an elf thing. And he's not, you know.” He wiggles his fingers by his head.

The cackling, wild-haired version of you yells some words that are indistinct but definitely obscene. You decide that one warning is definitely enough and utter the words that will scorch your unwanted company. It's a simple, low-power spell. Enough to light a campfire or teach an idiot a lesson.

You aren't really expecting the results.

“Fuck!” You jump back as he erupts into a pillar of flame, the echoes of your word still reverberating in the air. “Thit, fuck, thit, fuck!”

Jade rips her cloak off and jumps forward, trying to pat out the flames. There is a lot of shouting around you, and your doppelganger has fallen over laughing. The Aradia look-a-like is laughing too, and if you weren't so busy panicking about your accidental murder here you'd be thinking about how nasty her laugh is.

Behind you someone sighs, and then a short, tubby tiefling with long braids and fins stomps past. “Fucks sakes, Ampora. You fin anenome here is buyin' this codswallop?” Heedless of the flames, she grabs the burning man by the collar and hauls him up. “Cull the carp, buoy, so we can tell these losers what we're aboat and I can go back to my offishal business.”

The flames abruptly go out. Ampora, none the worse for wear, looks mulish in her grip.

“That was hardly appropriate,” says the Karkat-looking one, his face screwed up in disapproval. “Honestly, Meenah, we agreed that using someone's soul name in front of strangers is-”

“They ain't strangers,” says Meenah. “And no-one asked you fuckin' anyfin, ya spout of malformed wiggler pus.”

“Meenah, can I get down?” asks Ampora. Meenah huffs, then tosses him across the clearing with a casual gesture. He smacks against a tree, hits the ground, looks up into the mildly curious face of the painted Gamzee-clown, and decides to stay on the floor.

“WHAT THE FUCK ITH GOING ON!?” you yell.

“The usual,” says a dry voice. It's the scantily-clad Kanaya-tiefling. “You'd think after aeons of being stuck with one another we would have been able to resolve at least some of our issues, but it turns out that being stuck at age nineteen for all eternity really limits personal growth.”

“Nineteen?” Jade presses a hand to her mouth. “Oh, you're just kids!”

“Our species matures faster than elves,” says the Karkat-tiefling. “And actually, Porrim, I would prefer if you would give our age as nine sweeps, since we are still trolls and acceptance of human “year” measurements is an erasure of our culture which, personally-”

An unfamiliar grey boy with large horns raises his hand. “Uh...our culture got wiped out by meteorites?” he says. “Literally before anyone but us existed... and then we scratched it... so it never happened.”

You clench your hands in irritation. The air around you begins to crackle with red and blue lights. There is a smell- no, a stench- of raw magic.

The Kanaya tiefling- Porrim- sighs, and ignores the bickering that breaks out around you. She steps closer. She's actually very graceful and sleek; she has that same unconscious femininity, grace and poise that Kanaya does, but in her it's more focused and deliberate. Kanaya seems like she could really be a classy lady, if she tried. This woman doesn't seem to need to try at all.

“Do you know what you are?” she asks.

You frown slightly, but Jade nods. “We're gods,” she says. “In mortal form.”

Porrim smiles, and holds something out to you. A book. You take it without even a moment of hesitation. Its cover is black and hard, some material you don't know, and the pages inside are white and even. There's an odd sigil on the front. It looks a little like a face.

“Yours were always the best hands for that,” says Porrim. “Be careful. More than just the world is at stake.”

“What ith it?” You flip it open and look at page after page of bewildering symbols.

Porrim smiles wider. Mysteriously, that ass. “I think you'd call it magic, at present. It will certainly be of more use to you than any spellbook written by wizards out there.”

“Yo, you're gonna do some seriously rad shit with that,” says Latula, which is somehow even less fucking descriptive. You ignore her and flip to the start of the book. You can't read it, but it looks more like prose here, and none of the letters are shifting in front of your eyes. You've got the necessary magic to decipher this as soon as you're back on a plane where magic does what you expect it to again.

“That's so great! You got a present!” Jade is standing a little close. You shoulder-nudge her away. This is your book.

“Nothin' for YOU MOTHERFUCKER!” screams your look-a-like. Latula shushes him.

“Your stuff is in the hut, babes,” she says to Jade. “Take anything you like the look of. Most of the powered stuff is dead though. Total bummer.”

Your doppelganger continues to mumble and shriek. You eye him over the book. “What'th hith problem?”

The two women- who are rapidly starting to seem like the only near-sane ones here, if the ongoing argument behind you is anything to judge by- share a look.

“He hurt himself making a great sacrifice for us,” says Porrim. “Among... other things.” She sighs and presses a hand to her head. “Ugh. For once I wish Aranea still had her booth.”

Latula pulls a face. “Aranea? For reals?”

“I know, I know.” Porrim shakes her head. “Listen. Whether you know it or not, you are our friends. Our family. In time you will remember. For now, though, a different story.” She looks back at the quarrelling group, then reaches out her hands. “Here. It will take them some time to follow.”

Jade looks at you, then shrugs and takes one of her hands. You take the other with a sigh, the book tucked under your arm.

“Once, long ago, we failed in a great task and made a world full of suffering.”

The forest falls away and you are alone with Porrim, Jade and Bec, floating in a starry sky. In front of you hangs a world. Not a planar sphere. A great ball of fucking rock and water, just hangning in front of you, impossibly huge. Two smaller balls, still larger than the largest ocean, sit next to it like attendants to a noble. One is green, the other pink. In the distance one star shines bigger and brighter than the rest, almost as big and bright as...

“A sun,” Jade breathes, and you know that she understands what she's seeing better than you. You clutch your book tighter and hope it has answers.

“Alternia was our mistake, but we were set up,” says Porrim. “The details don't matter now. But the first Condesce, the one on which New Alternia models its tyrants, was an immortal queen. She was powerful. Undefeatable.” She looks back at them. “She was the one who put out your fire, earlier.”

“Wait.” Jade holds up a hand. “I thought you said you made this world. But you lived here?”

“Yes.” Porrim turns back towards the world. “Again, it's complicated and the details don't matter. We were here, and we didn't know who we were. Not unlike you now.”

“What doeth thith have to do with anything?” you ask. This all seems pointless and you're itching to decipher the book.

“You asked about Mituna,” says Porrim. “What you need to understand is that you and he have something in common, and what that means. Not that any of us really know what it means,” she adds, a little ruefully. “But Doom tends to come with a certain kind of bad luck.” She waves her hand and something else appears. It's long and sleek and red-purple, pronged and vicious and impossibly huge.

“The Battleship Condescension,” says Porrim. “It's the Condesce's flagship. It flies between stars.”

“How?” asks Jade, her eyes wide. You would have gone with “Why”, yourself, but you are feeling more and more out of your depth here.

Porrim waves again and the stars fade. You're in darkness, but then there are lines fading in, yellow and blue and red around you. You're in a dark place, a cavern full of twisting purple vines. Tangled in the middle of them, face open in a silent scream, is a tiefling man.

He has your horns.

“There's how,” says Porrim, and her voice is dripping with anger. “In this world, he and I were allies, and we fought her, and we lost. She broke him and took his power to fly her ship and conquer other worlds.”

Jade gasps. You don't. You're having trouble breathing. You stare up at him and your mind races, thinking, trying to invent ways out. You don't have to imagine too hard to understand the hows, here. You understand the situation perfectly. It's just a matter of scale.

This is a memory. It's meaningless. And you're still shaking.

The world cracks around you and you know, you fucking know where this godawful place is taking you and you don't want to go you don't want to go you don't want

There is a different forest this time. No crowd of blank-eyed tieflings, but there is a cage, and a trio of muscular tuatha in dirty chainmail and leather.

They turn to look at you and you freeze.

“You're dead,” you tell them as they walk towards you. “Thith ith'nt real. It'th not. Jutht memorieth.”

“You've been a naughty little shit,” says the big one with the wild hair. Gand. “You know what happens to naughty brats.” He reaches out and you scream and there is fire, fire and lightning everywhere.

Nightmares. Memories.

“Sollux!”

You're grabbed and pulled away, out of the clearing, and you scrabble at the eyes of your attacker.

“What the fuck, Sollux? Stop it!”

Nononono

“Damara!” someone shouts. And then there are ram's horns and grey skin and you can breathe, just a little, just enough to realise that...

“Oh. Thit.”

Jade sits back from you, eyes wide. “Sollux, what was that?”

“Nothing.” You try to shake it off, although you still feel cold down to your bones.

“That was not nothing! We had to get Damara to snap you out of it, which I still don't know why it worked, by the way-”

“Sollux and Aradia were pale for a long time,” says Porrim. Beside her, another of the blank-eyed tieflings makes quick, expansive gestures with her hands. “That's a, ah, mutually calming relationship, a very important bond on our old world. Meulin thought, correctly it seemed, that Damara's similarity to Aradia would be enough to snap you out of it.”

You look up at Damara, who shows you two middle fingers and strolls off.

“She'th not much like Aradia,” you say.

“And you are very calm, considering the reaction you just had,” says Porrim.

You scowl and look away. “Aradia uthed to help. I've been dealing on my own for a while now. It'th fine.”

“This happens a lot?” Jade folds her arms. “And you didn't tell me?”

“Well, not with the reality warping thtuff. That'th all thith thithole.”

“What happened?” Jade practically yells. You flinch away and she backs off, looking guilty. You stare down at the book in your hands to avoid looking at any of them.

“What do you want?” you ask. “Why did you thow uth that? Why give me thith? What'th the point?”

“I don't know,” says Porrim. “We're stuck in here. We have no idea what's going on. Just that whatever it is, it's apocalyptic, and before its time.” She crouches down beside you, which gives you a good view of some truly impressive cleavage. “This world needs its gods, so we'll give you your tools.” She taps the book. “And the warnings none of us got the first time.” She points to your head, then looks up at Jade. “You and I are Space players. Our powers can be overwhelming, but they aren't actively against us. But you, Sollux? Doom is dangerous, and powerful. And if anyone can turn the end of the world into an advantage, it's you.”

She extends a hand. You take it, and she pulls you to your feet. Behind her, a door appears on the featureless plain.

“Come back and see us some time,” she says. “We miss you all.”

You aren't expecting the hug or the kiss, but you are surprisingly okay with both.

### Suggestions Used:

 _archivalDaeva -_ Sollux: be flirted with by an eldritch horror (optional: have Sollux only notice that he was being flirted with by an eldritch horror after the conversation is over)

 _ATT -_ Anyone: Meet a classy lady. Get something awesome.

 _Kam_I_Am -_ SOLLUX: Get your hands on a copy of ~ATH. Contemplate this piece of--oh. Oh! Ehehheheh!! It makes sense! It all makes sense!!!

 _OwlFlight -_ Sollux: Remember/Be Told The Story of the Psiionic. Freak the fuck out.

 _Kam-I-Am -_ SOLLUX: Learn about quadrants; turns out, you and Aradia are 'pale'!

 _1JakoftheMoon1 -_ Sollux: embrace your legacy of double death.

### System Notes

CHANGING THE SCENARIO: DC 15  
Sollux's Will Check = 6 (Natural 1)  
Jade's Will Check = 11  
SOLLUX AND JADE BOTH FAIL TO CONTROL WHAT IS HAPPENING.  
JADE SPENDS 1 HERO POINT FOR +4 TO THE CHECK. 1/3 HERO POINTS REMAIN.  
Jade's Will Check = 15  
JADE IMPOSES HER WILL ON HER SURROUNDINGS.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SECOND PART!
> 
> I define Cronus as an eldritch abomination for the sake of suggestions. Sorry not sorry. He's an immortal being and a sea-dwelling humanoid. Also a creep. Close enough!
> 
> Sollux has the ~ATH book, which during research for this chapter (to check the cover) I learned is EVEN MORE of a punny name than I had realised. There are three jokes in ~ATH. THREE.
> 
> From the wiki:  
>  _In certain object-oriented programming languages, most notably C++, the declarations of destructors—functions called when an object is destroyed—are prefixed with tildes._ (~)
> 
>  
> 
> _In the Hayes command set, a language used in most dialup modems, ATH is also the command to hang up._
> 
>  
> 
> *shakes fist at the skies* HUSSIEEEEEEE!


	141. -- ELVEN SUBTYPE: AELFEN --

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Hero point votes:**  
>  Rose 1  
> Jade 1  
> Karkat 2  
> KARKAT GAINS ONE HERO POINT!  
> Voting now open for the next Hero Point award: one person will get one after three chapters. 
> 
> **Current Hero Points:**  
>  John 3/5, Rose 2/5, ~~Dave 3/3,~~ Jade 1/3  
>  Karkat 4/5, Gamzee 2/3, Terezi 4/5  
> Sollux 2/3, Aradia 2/3, ~~Kanaya 5/5~~  
>  Jane 3/5, Jake 3/5, Roxy 2/3, ~~Dirk 3/3~~

## AELFEN

Also known as Shining Elves, the Aelfen are elves hatched by magic from the Positive Energy Plane. Intelligent and imaginative, they are famed for their knowledge and their art and feared for their secrets and their vision. Statuesque and shining, they are voracious creators and students, often becoming wizards, clerics, and bards.

_• +4 Intelligence, +2 Charisma, -2 Strength, -2 Constitution:_ Aelfen are fiercely brilliant and beautiful, but their form is frail and weak.   
_• Medium:_ Aelfen are Medium creatures and have no bonuses or penalties due to their size.   
_• Normal Speed:_ Aelfen have a base speed of 30 feet.   
_• Low-Light Vision:_ Aelfen can see twice as far as normal in conditions of dim light (see low-light vision).   
_• Lightbringer:_ Aelfen are literally infused with the radiant power of the heavens. They are immune to light-based blindness and dazzle effects, and are treated as one level higher when determining the effects of any light-based spell or effect they cast (including spell-Like and supernatural abilities). Aelfen with Intelligence 10 or higher may also use light at will as a spell-Like ability.   
_• Keen Senses:_ Aelfen receive a +2 racial bonus on Perception skill checks.   
_• Weapon Familiarity:_ Aelfen are proficient with elven curve blades, longbows (including composite longbows), rapiers, and shortbows (including composite shortbows), and treat any weapon with the word “elven” in its name as a martial weapon.   
_• Languages:_ Aelfen begin play speaking Common and High Elven. Aelfen with high Intelligence scores can choose from the following: Abyssal, Aklo, Celestial, Draconic, Gnoll, Gnome, Goblin, Infernal, Orc and Sylvan.

Appearance:  
Aelfen skin and hair are metallic, in all shades of gold and silver and often in contrasting colours. They have large eyes which are soft colours of grey, violet or amber. Aelfen are the tallest of the elves but beyond this vary widely in shape; they tend to frailty, and those who work magic give the illusion of burning with inner light that makes their skin seem transluscent.

Society:  
Aelfen are the truthseekers, the academics and artists, mystics and medics, always delving and reaching to know more about the world and all its wonders. Their quick minds and thirst for understanding have garnered them a reputation for arrogance, one that is not always undeserved. Still, knowledge does not guarantee wisdom, and in epic tales of times past the Aelfen are every bit as likely to be the fools dooming the world as the heroes saving it.

Most Aelfen live to the north of the Continent of Light, pushed to the upper edge of their ancestral home by invading Tuatha and Aasimar. There they live in a loose alliance of Duchies, Principalities, and city-states that each foster their own culture and history, often in fierce rivalry to their neighbours. However, the two true touchstones of Aelfen culture are Starspire Peak and the Isle Arcanum. Home to the Temple of the Light and the famed Arcane College respectively, they are the twin cores of divine and arcane learning that all Aelfen societies respect if not honour. They also are the greatest remaining examples of true Aelfen architecture, wrought from the landscape by magic itself instead of built in the Aasimar style.

Aelfen put great store by ancestors and track their own descent carefully, but Aelfen eggs are rarely hatched until after the death of the laying-parents. They are adopted in clutches and are often closer to their siblings and hatch-parents than any other relative, making note of their ancestors as a matter of pride. Young Aelfen are encouraged to find their passions in life and follow them, but there are often subtle pressures to follow in an ancestor's footsteps, and this has been the source of many frustrated and failed dreams.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I DON'T EVEN FUCKING KNOW WHAT IS HAPPENING IN MY LIFE ANY MORE IT IS ALL CHAOS AND BEES AND BULLSHIT
> 
> Seriously though I actually forgot I had to update until last night, so that is why more filler. At some point in the last few months I lost control of my life, why, I do not understand this, I just want to go one month without someone getting married or me getting ill or my parents descending like Hurricane Work Ethic. Okay yes I invited them and I knew what I was doing but I spent eight hours gardening yesterday. _Eight hours_. If anyone wants to know how I keep the LODAD update schedule I would remind you that I was spawned by people who think EIGHT HOURS of hard manual labour is a desirable thing to do with your day.
> 
> So in related news I'm running out of filler. Has anyone got anything they'd like to see added to the unofficial LODAD setting manual that is happening here?


	142. ==> Aradia: Get Lost

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Hero point votes:**  
>  Rose 1  
> Jade 1  
> Sollux 1
> 
>  **Current Hero Points:**  
>  John 3/5, Rose 2/5, ~~Dave 3/3,~~ Jade 1/3  
>  Karkat 4/5, Gamzee 2/3, Terezi 4/5  
> Sollux 2/3, Aradia 2/3, ~~Kanaya 5/5~~  
>  Jane 3/5, Jake 3/5, Roxy 2/3, ~~Dirk 3/3~~

## ==> Aradia: Get Lost

Below the temple there is a maze. Not a labyrinth; lots of people make that mistake, thinking that a labyrinth is just a big fancy maze. A labyrinth has a specific pattern to it, spiral paths that owe more to ritual than to confusing the walkers.

This place is completely the wrong shape, and was definitely built with confusion in mind.

“How's the old supply situation?” Jake asks. His teeth are chattering. Tieflings aren't designed for the sun, but dwarven upbringing or not, Tuatha aren't really meant to be underground, and definitely not underground with sunburn and no shirt.

You glance up from the lines you're sketching on the map. You haven't broken the kit out in months, not since you got back from your last paid adventure, but you're not stupid. Three steps into the maze you started making a record of the place. What's bothering you right now is that it's not adding up; you think you must have made a mistake hours ago, because your latest turns aren't fitting into the space right. You've not mentioned it to Jake yet. As problems go... well, you don't want him worrying any more than he already is.

“We drank the supplies last night,” you point out. Then you wrinkle your nose. “Two nights ago?” It feels more like two nights, although you've not been able to see the sky in that time.

Your stomach rumbles. Jake looks vaguely ill.

“Right,” he mumbles.

“It's okay,” you tell him. “It's totally normal to act a bit loopy when you're in the early stages of starvation!”

He doesn't look any happier at this news. “Wait, what?”

“We haven't eaten in at least three days,” you point out. “More like four, really.” There was the time you spent floating before you washed up on this island, after all.

“Oh.” Jake sways a bit. You aren't an expert, but you're starting to wonder if maybe elves don't take lack of food as well as tieflings. Thinking back on it, Sollux usually didn't- doesn't- cope as well as you with hunger, and unlike Jake he's got a whole load of tiefling shaping him.

You fold the makeshift map up and shift priorities. You've been trying to keep an eye out for edibles as you go, but if Jake is starting to get this confused and woozy, you're probably out of time.

“Come on,” you say, and take his hand. “Let's go find something to eat.”

It sounds like a tall order in an underground maze that's stood for centuries, maybe even millenia. But there's water here, trickling just out of earshot and leaving some of the walls damp to the touch. There are things growing from the time-roughened stone, and other things that scurry in the dark. Fungi are a big risk, but the animals living off it are much more likely to be edible.

You try to go back the way you came, but you think you must be more out of it than you believed you were, because there's a left where there should have been a right and a T-intersection where you needed to go straight. Now you're pretty sure you're lost for good.

The only positive news is that after a couple of hours you catch sight of something moving and bring it down with a Magic Missile spell. When you get closer it turns out to be a reasonably large, hairless rodent... thing. Jake still has his cooking supplies, and since there's already a roof over your heads and a dry floor beneath you, it makes sense to just set up camp where you are. It takes another couple of hours to get the beastie dressed and cooked, in chunks that can be wrapped and packed away for later.

You can catch more things to eat, but your fuel supplies are dwindling, and you really don't think Jake's ready for raw meat.

He wakes up when you elbow him and eats slow when you caution him to. The pair of you sit silent for a while in the dark, seemingly endless maze.

“I don't think this is a Page thing,” says Jake, after swallowing his last bit of rodent-on-a-stick and licking his fingers clean.

You swallow your own mouthful of dinner. It's dinnertime, you think. “No?”

“This maze feels different,” he says, and leans back against the wall. It's hardly solid evidence, but you're willing to trust it, if only because your gut says the same thing. The Temple above was deadly and fast-paced and almost fun, if nearly dying repeatedly was someone's idea of a fun time. Down here it feels more as if you've been cut off, like you're not even part of the world any more. It's boring and it's huge and it's meant to kill you slowly. You don't think Jake's noticed the odd time-bleached bone here and there, but you wouldn't be surprised if some of the vermin denizens were supplimenting their diets with “foolhardy adventurer” once upon a time.

Jake's eyelids droop. “The weirdest thing is, it feels like a prize,” he mutters.

That, you hadn't picked up on. “A prize?”

“Yeah.” Jake yawns. “Like, anyone gutsy enough to get through that trap-ridden deathtrap above us should get a prize at the end. And when you get there, you find... this. I rather fancy the Temple was built to challenge people to find this place.” He frowns a little, shakes his head. “Bluh. That's ridiculous.”

“Maybe. Maybe not.” You lean in next to him. “A maze like this has to be guarding something good. I wonder what?”

The only answer is a soft snore. Jake is using your shoulder as a pillow, and you let him for a while. He snuggles close, probably looking for body warmth. Poor guy. Elves are pretty weedy, or his type are at least, and he's had a pretty sheltered life until recently. Most of the adventurers you know, the real professionals, are messed up one way or another. It's the sort of thing that sounds great fun until you're actually doing it.

You still think it's great fun, of course, but you'll freely admit you're messed up. What's disconcerting is that you no longer know if that's because your childhood was all wrong or because you're actually the Goddess of Death. Since Sollux is the God of Fate you're not sure he's a great measuring stick to try and work it out.

It's a strange feeling, not knowing yourself, and you still don't like it. But at least you're not alone with it. You stroke dark hair out of Jake's sleeping, sun-reddened face, and think about how much he looks like John Warden. They could almost be the same person, honestly, if it wasn't for the small physical differences between a guardsman raised by innkeepers in a coastal city and an intrepid explorer raised by alchemist inventors in a dwarven hold. You smile, remembering nights spent in the Adventurer's Quarter, coaxing Kanaya to drink with you and get in trouble in the taverns while Sollux nursed a tankard in the corner. It was especially funny because once he actually got drunk, you had to hold him back, but until then he would just sulk and glower at the singing. You know so many songs that are totally unsuitable for polite or sensitive company, including one about three dirty goblins that is frankly awful but also hilarious when drunk. The memory of belting it out while Kanaya buried her face in her hands is so vivid, it's almost real.

Except that's not the song, and it's not in your head.

Your eyes fly open. The fire has died down, Jake is practically acting as a blanket, and someone nearby is singing. You nudge him into wakefulness, looking around, and see a bobbing light in the distance.

You put a finger to your lips. Jake nods. The two of you get to your feet, and that's when the stranger appears. The song falls silent. You all stare.

He's a lizard.

He's three and a half feet tall at most, bright red, and he's a lizard. A lizard in baldricks not unlike Jake's, with overlarge breeches and big floppy boots, and a collection of belts and pouches and packs that screams adventurer so loud that you can't stop your smile, even as you check Jake still has his guns. He does.

“Hi there!” you call. The kobold- because he is a kobold, you've met kobolds near the mountains before- narrows his eyes as he looks them up and down.

“Fuck's his shirt?” the kobold yells back. You give a complicated shrug, the sort that indicates you do not know and do not expect knowing to be forthcoming, because some mysteries are simply a part of the world as it is and to lose them would be to fundamentally change it.

The kobold rolls his eyes and ambles over, still eyeing them up. He definitely notices the remains of the carcass you gutted, lying half a corridor away. “You idiots didn't even bring food?”

“We brought food!” Jake protests, hotly. Then he wilts. “It, uh, got a little. Seawater.”

The kobold huffs. You don't really know how to tell their age, or even how old they get, but he gives the impression of being older than the two of you regardless. “Dumbasses.”

“We were attacked by Merrow,” you say, feeling obliged to defend your competence a little. “Riding sea-serpents. It's like getting shipwrecked, but with less wreckage!”

“You're still idiots,” the koboild says, tapping his foot. “Coming down here without preparation- do you even know where you are?”

Slowly, you both shake your heads.

“I have been making a map-” you say. The kobold scoffs as you hold up the parchment.

“Oh, good one. That'll work.” He glares at you. “Just so you know, this maze exists in a demiplane, and more than three dimensions. You can't navigate it with a map.”

“Oh!” You look at your confused scribbles again, heart suddenly lightened. “That explains it!”

“It does?” Jake looks at you, bewildered. “Wait, how do we get through without a map?”

A piece of chalk hits him. Jake catches it on the rebound, though, which isn't bad.

“You got names?” the kobold asks.

“Aradia,” you say.

“Jake,” says Jake, a heartbeat behind.

The kobold nods. “Okay. You kids stick with me and I'll get you out alive. But the treasure's mine, got it?”

You nod vigorously and without consultation. Jake says: “Treasure?”

The kobold huffs again. “What, you think a mage builds a maze like this for shits and giggles? There's treasure, trust me. And I'm claiming it.”

“That's okay,” you say quickly, before anything can go further amiss. “Really, we were just exploring- we don't need any treasure.” You look back at Jake sternly, and he shrugs, still bemused.

The kobold gives you both a sceptical look. It's fair, you wouldn't trust you either, but it means that he's got to be sure he can beat you both if it comes to it. Or this is a trick of some kind, but you don't really see what he gains from it.

“What do we call you?” Jake asks.

The kobold hesitates, briefly. “Pun-Pun,” he says, and walks past you down the corridor. “Come on. Try to keep up.”

### System Notes:

 **Catching Something Edible: DC 10 (minimum)**  
Aradia's Survival Check = 25  
ARADIA MANAGES TO ACTUALLY FIND SOME EDIBLE FOOD THAT PROVIDES DECENT SUSTINANCE AND ISN'T COMPLETELY GROSS.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dashed this one off in a bit of a hurry, but it is here! I'll count votes and such tomorrow.
> 
> Thank you all for reading! :) I hope your weekends have been as pleasant as mine.
> 
> EDIT: Added the hero point votes at the top. Also, I have noticed a great many Girl Genius icons amongst my commenters, which is awesome, and leads me to recommend that those who haven't read [this amazing webcomic full of mad science, hilarious monsters, and various states of undress](http://www.girlgeniusonline.com/comic.php?date=20021104#.V5ZY2_krLIU) might enjoy it.


	143. ==> Dave: Knock Yourself Out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Hero point votes:**  
>  Rose 1  
> Jade 1  
> Sollux 1
> 
>  **Current Hero Points:**  
>  John 3/5, Rose 2/5, ~~Dave 3/3,~~ Jade 1/3  
>  Karkat 4/5, Gamzee 2/3, Terezi 4/5  
> Sollux 2/3, Aradia 2/3, ~~Kanaya 5/5~~  
>  Jane 3/5, Jake 3/5, Roxy 2/3, ~~Dirk 3/3~~

## ==> Dave: Knock Yourself Out

“Hey. Asshole. Quit lying around. I'm talking to you. Wake up, fuckwit.”

You mumble something scathing and devastatingly erudite in response. It comes out as “muh-RPHN-hm” and then you splutter, because your mouth is full of dust. Pushing up off the ground you find yourself spitting out sand, which also helpfully pours from your hair. So that's something.

“What the fuck?” You blink suddenly watering eyes and squint into a fuzzy mess of light. Everything is either blue or a sort of burnt red. “Bro? 'Rezi?” You swallow. “Jane? Kanaya?”

“Still waiting on my name,” says your asshole sword, which is lodged point-first into the sand. You have no idea how it got there, but that's fair, because you have no idea how you got here either. You stagger to your feet, spin around drunkenly a couple of times, cough, and finally think to briefly lift your mask and blink your eyes clear enough for a good look around.

You are in a vast red desert. The sky is blue and cloudless. And you are completely alone.

“Nice work, douche,” says Caliburn, and you amend that to _unfortunately, only mostly_ alone. A quick check tells you that you still have all your shit, present and accounted for, which along with the change in scenery suggests that you're the one who's missing.

“Well, this is just fucking fantastic,” you tell the sky. “This is more god bullshit, isn't it? I can smell it like it's week-old stew in an unwashed pot.” You grab Caliburn out of the sand and get walking. Direction is pretty much at random, but sitting tight won't get you anything but a sunburn. “Shit was inedible when it was first made, all mystery meat and vegetables not meant to grace mortal eyes, but now it's a whole other thing. Dried up, stuck to the pot, growing its own fuzzy little patch of nature for the bug party that crashed the joint.”

“Does anyone listen to this crap?”

“Yeah, me,” you snap. If there was a way to kick a sword in the shin, that would be great. “Feel free to interrupt, though, if you have anything at all helpful to add.”

“I'm a sword, not a fucking map,” says Caliburn, because it's a useless, foulmouthed piece of shit. You ignore it and continue your important speculation on your current predicament, aka talking to yourself because who's gonna call you on it?

“There was definitely some shit going down just before I got zapped here,” you explain to the sand, the sky and a passing lizard. “Major apocolyptic shit. So I figure either it zapped me out the way, or I zapped myself using my innate and awe-inspiring godly instincts.”

“Inspire this,” Caliburn mutters, from the back-scabbard.

“If the whatever did it, I could be anywhere,” you muse. “But, Knight of Time, so if I did it I could be...” You trail off. “Huh. Anywhen.”

Now isn't that a fun conclusion you just got to? You take a moment to really appreciate the fact that you're hoping you were magically separated from your friends and dumped in the middle of nowhere by a powerful and malevolent entity. The alternative, fucking up your own damn self, you really have no idea how to fix.

There's not anything to do but keep moving, which you do, keeping up a constant stream of observations. You aren't sure yourself whether you're trying to keep yourself company, or piss off your sword. You're doing better at the second. After a while you start to wish you could shed some layers; you can almost feel yourself cooking in the sun, but your exposed skin is already turning red. It's not as muggy as the Stormwrack coast, but the heat is raw, and the ground just eats it up and spits it back out. There's a haze shimmering above the sand. Remembering old stories Desta told back when you and your bro were little squishy aasimar babies, you are careful not to guzzle your water.

It's late in the day and the sun is going down when you see a flash of colour in the distance. By then your voice has all but dried up, so you don't have a problem in falling silent to make your approach. The colour resolves into frankly the stupidest fucking thing you have ever seen. Half-buried in the red sand of the desert there is a faintly glowing sphere, the same gaudy red as your belts and sashes. It's large, and obviously magic. You walk up and tap it. Your hand falls through and you briefly flail it in the cooler air inside.

“Hey!” Something grabs your hand and yanks, and you stumble into the sphere to find yourself face-to-face with a grouchy-looking drow. From inside it's dim and red-tinted, but you can see out clearly enough. The guy must have seen you approaching almost as soon as you saw his sphere.

“Hands off the goods,” you say, snatching your hand back. “I'm not that kind of date.”

The drow narrows his eyes, as bright and brilliant a red as Karkat's- or yours, you suppose. He's sitting on top of a bedroll, and between that and the campfire, you can tell that this thing is some kind of magical tent. No sign of baggage beside a pouch on his belt, but hey, magical tent. That plus the complete lack of weapons and armour while in the middle of the wilderness tells a story.

“So, you're a sorcerer?” you ask. His nostrils flare. “Wizard, right. Knew it.”

“Who in the name of the gods are you?” he demands. His voice is reedy and completely unafraid of you and your really obvious weaponry.

“Yeah, funny you should mention the gods.” You drop down on the far side of the campfire. “Turns out, I maybe kind of am one?” You hold up your wrist as proof, pulling back your bracer to show the godmark.

The drow wizard guy is completely unimpressed. “Is that tattoo supposed to convince me of something?”

“Idiot,” says your asshole sword.

“Shut up,” you say. “Clearly he just doesn't recognise the sheer awesomeness of my magical birthmark, which isn't his fault. We only just met, after all.” You stick a hand out to him. “Dave Ghoststep. Possible Knight of Time. I have no idea where I am, so if you can clear that up...”

He sighs and ignores your hand. You let it drop. “Are you always this trusting?” he asks you.

“Fuck no,” you reply. “What, you think this is me trusting you? I just know you could possibly toast me before I drew my sword. I'm at a disadvantage here, what with having to obey the laws of the material plane and all. Assuming that's where we are.”

He nods. “Even though you are, in fact, a god?”

“Now you're getting it.” You salute him.

“You are a lunatic,” he tells you.

“Yeah, who isn't?” You shrug, like this is what happens to you every day. Shit, it almost is as well. Whatever happened to your nice boring life of street performances and ripping off the rich city folks?

The drow wizard tilts his head a little, studying you. “I don't suppose I can entice you to leave?”

“Nope.” You shake your head. “It's you and me, baby, all the way from here on out.” You tap your sword. “And this fucking douche, but it's a sword, it can't help it.”

“Fuck you too,” Caliburn snarls. “Just stab him.”

“Uh, no?”

The drow sighs. “I assume you want directions back to wherever you started from?”

“Honestly, I'd settle for directions out of this desert.” Not mentioning the possible Time Travel. You'll need a lot more than just this guy to fix that. Maybe some high-ranking clerics. Or another god.

“Kvasir Krustalos,” says the drow wizard. It takes you a moment to realise that it's his name and not just cursing.

“What the fuck, Krusty, did your parents hate you or something?”

Krusty folds his arms and glares at you more. You realise, slightly too late, that pretty much every drow you've ever met came from a really fucked up place and that actual literal parent hatred is a thing that might have happening here.

“Well, shit,” you say, awkwardly.

Krusty glares at you. “Your name isn't Ghoststep. It's Strider. Dave Strider. Now that sounds fucking ridiculous.”

You freeze.

“It's a simple spell,” Krusty adds. You silently freak out because okay, you may not be a spellcaster, but you know and are related to spellcasters and this guy didn't move, didn't say anything, didn't so much as twitch funny. Even casting a simple spell without showing it is a sign that he's sitting on some serious mojo. Plus...

“Thought you were a wizard,” you say, face frozen beneath the mask. “Didn't know wizards could get a True Name. Thought that took some communing with the gods bullshit.”

“According to you, I'm commiuning with a god right now,” Krusty points out, which is not actually an answer at all. He stands and brushes sand from his trousers, which appear to made from crimson fucking silk, _what the fuck._ They're even embroidered. “If you want passage out of the desert, Dave Strider, then follow me. You can make sure I reach my destination safely.”

Ha, yeah. Come be his meat-shield so he has time to fire spells off, more likely. This guy doesn't need a bodyguard, he needs a few seconds to prepare. But the use of your Name turns it from an offer to a subtle threat, and hey, it's not as if you have anything better on the table.

“Sure, why the fuck not?” you say, as he takes down the protective spell around you with a wave of his hand. Hot desert air comes rushing in right away. Since the sun is sinking below the horizon and you can see stars beginning to appear, you doubt it'll last long. “Just come along with you to wherever the fuck mysterious elves go in the middle of nowhere. If you need a sacrifice, though, I should probably warn you that I'm not a virgin. You try putting me on an altar and you're gonna get a big ol' divine no thanks, return to sender.”

For the first time, he actually looks amused. The corner of his mouth twitches up briefly, anyway. You stop for a long glug of water and to kick sand over the remains of the fire; capable mage he may be, but he knows shit-all about leaving a campsite.

“So how'd you do that, anyway?” you ask, trailing after him across the desert. “The name thing, I mean. I'm no wizard but my bro has some tricks, and that was a sick one.”

He glances over his shoulder. “Sick? How so?”

You blink. You'd just said the words without thinking, but now that he points it out you have no idea why you used that particular word to express yourself. “I mean it's really fucking impressive. Like someone would get sick with envy when they see you do it, I guess.”

“Hmm.” He turns away again. “I suppose.”

“That's it? You're not going to explain?” You jog up level to his shoulder. “I'm hurt. I thought we were really bonding.”

“You wouldn't understand,” says Krusty. He sounds almost wistful. “I doubt your brother would, either. Most people-”

He breaks off, but you're already nodding. “Don't get your genius, right? I understand. People never give me the credit I deserve for my truly off-the-handle rhymes. I am a godsdamn master of battle poetry. I flow like a river flows off a cliff, fast, deadly and unstoppable.”

“Choppy.”

“What, you don't believe me?” You cough, clear your throat. “Okay, normally I would be too offended to even speak right now, but today is your lucky day. Thousands would pay for the show you're about to get; kings would fucking weep.”

You get another half-smile, and figure that's all the encouragement you need. You reach back and tap your sword. “Hey, asshole, give us a beat.”

“No,” says Caliburn. “Not unless I get a go.”

“Sure, whatever.” Your sword can't possibly be as awesome a battle poet as you. “Just hit it.”

You know how to make drum-like noises with your mouth, of course, to back up your bro. He can do the same. How the fuck a sword manages is beyond you, but it does have a slightly metallic quality.

“Out on the sand, lone lost man, sole survivor from a godly band; lookin' for a path, lookin' for a road, lookin' for a ship to take me home. Found me a wizard but he knows my Name, he got no faith and I got no shame. Travel together through the starlit waste, lookin' for a place, lookin' for a face, lookin' for a secret that a wizard will chase.”

You start popping with your mouth, picking up Caliburn's rhythm. Your sword falls silent, then adds his own verse.

“Strapped to a back. Stuck in the ground. Fuck this shit. Better lost than found.”

You choke on your rhythm. “What? What the fuck is that?”

“Better than yours,” the sword declares.

“Bullshit it was!”

“I liked it,” says Krusty. You gape at him and he shrugs. “I am the judge, correct?”

“So, neither of you has any taste,” you conclude. “Good to know. I'm never wasting my talents on either of you ever again, seeing as how it results in me losing a poetry battle to my fucking sword.” You glare over your shoulder. “I want to break up. I think we should see other people.”

“I'm meeting someone,” Krusty snaps. You jerk around to look at him, but he's stamping through the sand without looking around. “You want to know where I'm going? That's where.”

“I didn't ask,” you say. “Thanks for the information, though. Glad to know that you're not congenitally cryptic. Is that a wizard thing, getting trained into noncomittal bull? Because I've known a couple of wizards and there's definitely this whole secretive, evasive-”

“Do you _ever_ shut up?”

“Not generally,” you say, thoughtfully examining the new stars overhead. The sky looks different. That's worrying. “The words live in me, I've gotta let the little fuckers try to fly. Sometimes they soar, sometimes they flop around on the ground and get eaten by wildcats. It's the circle of life, only with language.”

You think Krusty might be about to cry.

By the time a distant structure hoves into view, you might almost think he regretted bringing you along, if he wasn't smiling. At first you see it as a blot against the sky; its only as you get closer that you recognise the shape of a stepped pyramid ahead of you.

“Not gonna lie, I was expecting a town. An inn. A travelling circus. Something other than a creepy temple, basically,” you say, staring up at it.

“It's not a temple,” says Krusty, walking up to an open, gaping door in the base. “It's an entrance.”

“To what?” you ask, but he's already gone ahead. Left with a choice between following the only person you've seen so far, and hanging around in the empty desert next to the creepy not-a-temple, you dart after him.

Inside, it's pitch dark and somewhat damp. Being aasimar, you are completely fucking blind, so you draw the Asshole Sword and let the faint light of magic illuminate your way. You can still see shit-all, but at least you won't walk blindly into a hole or a wall or anything.

Krusty's back leads you down a spiralling staircase. You tread carefully on the way down. It's getting wetter as you descend. Weirdly, it smells like the sea, and you get so caught up in thinking about it you nearly fall down the stairs when Krusty stops in front of you.

“Nyneve,” he says. For the first time he sounds something other than grouchy; his voice is sheer relief.

“Kvasir,” says an answering voice, musical and smooth. There's a wet slapping sound, and then an elven woman with actual fucking scales and fins steps forward to embrace him.

She's green. It's weird. You stare.

“You made it,” she says softly.

“For you,” he says. They press their foreheads together.

“Real cute,” says Caliburn, and honestly, you have never wanted to throw your sword in a lake more. They both turn and stare at you, the watery elf's eyes huge and round. Then again, they look pretty huge and round to start with.

“I picked up a stray,” Krusty explains. “He says he's the God of Time.”

“Kvas...” says the watery elf. She glances over her shoulder, and another person steps around the corner.

It's you. The person is you. He's slightly better-dressed, and he has two swords slung across his back in place of Caliburn- one black and one white- but it's you.

“Hi,” says Dave, and punches you in the face.

### Suggestions Used:

 _Ms Arano -_ Dave: Accidentally time travel and cause mass confusion with your companions, whomever they are at the time.

 _Ms Arano -_ Dave/Rose/Jane: Have an argument with LpoTS.

 _Wizardtatas -_ Dave: Lose rap battle to your sword

 _Ms Arano -_ Dave: Accidentally -- meet yourself? Uh...

 _Ms Arano -_ Dave: Knock yourself out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I am altogether too fond of time travel shenanigans, and it may begin to show...
> 
> This week I achieved writing ahead of schedule, so things are looking up! :)


	144. ==> Karkat: Impress The Commander

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Hero point votes:**  
>  Rose 1  
> Jade 1  
> Sollux 2
> 
>  **Current Hero Points:**  
>  John 1/5, Rose 1/5, ~~Dave 3/3,~~ Jade 1/3  
>  Karkat 1/5, Gamzee 2/3, Terezi 4/5  
> Sollux 2/3, Aradia 2/3, ~~Kanaya 5/5~~  
>  Jane 3/5, Jake 3/5, Roxy 2/3, ~~Dirk 3/3~~

## ==> Karkat: Impress the Commander

You grip your sickles and narrow your eyes as the hordes of rotting corpses hammer through the outer defences and run towards you. They don't seem to be held up by the fact that their legs are basically just bone and rag. Overhead, the brand new celestial body shines on in all its eerie apocalyptic weirdness. It has a face, which makes you want to blame it personally for every-fucking-thing that has gone wrong, ever.

You'd think this was more evidence of the world hating you, if it wasn't obvious that it hates _everyone_ right now. Your anger has narrowed to the point where it's at critical mass, and as idiotic as it is you don't give a shit right now that you could get killed here. All of the available shits you have are focused on wrecking whoever it is that thinks the world doesn't suck enough ass-crack already.

John is the first one to charge in. He's mobbed in seconds, but Rose pulls her wand with a flourish and blasts them with a burst of nauseating light. Then she's the one under attack, and John's ridiculous hammer is swinging, knocking down undead left and right. Another knot are approaching from yourside and you charge in just as Roxy's magic flickers, encasing her in shimmering pink-tinted light.

“That'd better be something fucking helpful!” you yell, coming in low and hooking a sickle around one corpse's leg. Turns out that it might not need muscles, but it does need balance; it hits the floor and you keep moving, dodging away from its snarling, biting attacks. Movement flashes in your eyeline and you duck aside from another one that lunges forward, jaws snapping. There's a hellish glow in its empty eye sockets, and a stench of rotting flesh that makes you gag.

With a scream of rage Gamzee ploughs into the monster that tried to bite you. His hammer crushes into its torso, leaving it staggering and broken. Light flashes behind you as Rose casts some blindingly bright spell, blasting enemies to dust as they charge in. You spin away from another blow and see John hit so hard that a walking corpse goes flying back through the nearby stable wall. For a moment a feeling wafts over, the air almost smelling of sunlight and fresh breezes.

As a drow, you find it disturbing, and turn back to slice out at the enemies around you. One is reeling and the other is still trying to gnaw your fucking ankles off, which makes you feel frankly ridiculous swiping at the two of them. You feel even more ridiculous when your blades hardly seem to affect them; you're slicing deep, you can tell, but these things don't bleed and they don't really give a fuck about being torn to ribbons.

You grit your teeth and keep dancing to keep from being clawed up. Another one comes racing in and you duck aside, cursing your stupid weapons. Sickles, idiot, why would you use these, you have so many more options now. If you carried a big fucking hammer like Gamzee you could turn these undead assholes into paste but no, you have to use your gods-damn Shanty-brat butter knives...

 _“Hey, my motherfucking brother,”_ whispers Gamzee's voice in your ear, and something inside goes snap.

It's not your fault, it's _theirs._ They don't care if you cut them? You're going to cut these assholes _more_ and _make_ them care!

You grip your sickles and scream a challenge. The battlefield is flashing and cracking and smells of blood and rot. You laugh as Roxy appears from nowhere, punching through the corpse you're facing with a fist that crackles with magic. You dive forwards, blades swinging, laughing as you carve more lines across it. So the fuck what if it doesn't fall? These assholes can't hit you for trying and you've got _all fucking day_ to practise. The asshole you knocked down earlier tries to stand and you slice at it at the same time Roxy punches. It falls down again, the unholy light in its eyes flickering out. You look across and see the one Gamzee crushed earlier starting to twitch, its caved-in chest looking much less cavernous.

The fuckers get back up again? You growl. Cheaters and monsters and you are going to make. Them. PAY.

Rage clouds your vision for a moment too long, and you don't dodge in time. Claws and teeth are all over you and you raise your arms, fending off the worst of it onto armour. The scratches bleed but you can't feel them, and then a length of burning wood swings past and Gamzee is hammering the thing attacking you into the ground. You give him a grin through blood-stained teeth and look up to see what else is coming.

A chill falls across the battlefield. You just have time to see that some of the creatures are smirking, like they understand, before waves of crushing terror break across you. Rose shouts something in the incomprehensible bullshit she speaks in battle, then sprouts actual fucking wings of shadow and takes to the sky. She's gone in seconds. You shiver, a moment of uncertainty in your rage while John knocks back more and more undead.

A hollow voice hisses and creaks, and you see one of the smarter ones raising its hands as three more dead things crawl their way up from the dirt in a glare of hellish light. One hurtles at you and latches its filthy teeth into your shoulder. You holler swear words in two different languages and push it away, a chunk of your flesh going with it. Your blood trickles down its chin. Gripping your sickles, you hesitate... and look to the one still lurking behind it, the one which still makes your heart skip in fear.

“Gamzee, get the fuck after me!” you yell. “I'm going after that asshole!”

Then you race forwards. Claws reach out to swipe at you; you duck past most of them, barely taking a scrape, and you launch yourself at the leader with all the righteous fury of a godling who is sick to the pretty gilded knob-shaped points on their magical crown with the dead inserting themselves into the world of the living.

The point of your sickle gets caught between two leg bones and you are forced to drop it to avoid falling flat on your face. If the universe has a laugh track, it is running right now.

Your heart pounds in your ears. Gamzee and Roxy are yelling and screaming behind you, magic and fire flashing. You lock stares with the empty eyes of the monster you just totally failed to knock off its feet and hold your remaining sickle out like it's a shield instead of a useless hunk of metal and leather. There are more of the undead streaming past you and the air is pulsing.

A clawed, bony hand snaps out and you jump aside. The creature's hand closes beside your throat, slicing the air like knives. Another wave of terror washes over you and you hear Roxy's shriek, see Gamzee's giant stick of flaming wreckage clatter to the floor. You know without checking that they're ready to run.

“Don't you fucking dare!” you scream. The taste of blood rises in your throat and you reach out with everything you have, your mark itching, the world burning in your eyes. You dodge another swipe. “I'm a complete waste of fucking space here and I'm still fighting, you assholes, don't you even fucking _think_ of running away! You want to be on your own when these things come for you?”

Roxy hesitates. Gamzee doesn't. He grabs a broken sword from the ground and hurls it at the monster that's looking to grab you. It misses, because he's a useless fucking asshole, but you appreciate the gesture. Taking a deep breath, you steady yourself and prepare to lunge at the thing again.

A wash of deep power, calming and soothing, rushes over you. The undead creature screams and flinches away.

“Nice speech,” shouts the Commander, as she and her followers advance. You can't read her face past the mask, but she gives you a nod as she draws alongside you. The Church of Heart are grim and blood-stained, but they're holding holy symbols and chanting what you guess are probably surfacer prayers. Looking around the battlefield, you see that the knots of fighting have shrunk, that the remaining undead are being hammered into the ground, that despite the dead you have, in fact, won.

Holy fuck, you need to bring an army of clerics and paladins every time you fight undead.

After that, it's over quickly. You are, of course, useless, but the Commander nods to you again as the last of the cadavers falls.

“Good work,” she says.

“I literally did nothing useful,” you tell her. You wave a hand at John, approaching with a big grin on his face. “He's the one-man hammer-wielding army, thank him.”

“You fought bravely,” the Commander tells John. Then she turns back to you. “But you stopped your allies from running. That is something.” She tilts her chin up. “Interesting, the power you used to do it.”

Your blood freezes. “Power? I don't have power. I'm a guy with two bent daggers.” You hold up your one remaining sickle for evidence.

“Of course not,” she says, calmly, then turns. Roxy is approaching, picking her way across bodies towards you. Some of her hair looks a little crispy. Gamzee lurks behind her, charred and scowling.

“Where's Rose?” asks Roxy, coming up beside you with wide eyes. You remember seeing Rose fly away mid-battle, and groan. You _hate_ the undead.

“Let's go find her,” you say, because in the end you hate yourself about a thousand times more than the universe at large ever could.

### Suggestions Used

 _zang269 -_ warden twin: punch someone through a wall

 _TheWorldsMinion -_ Karkat: Impress the commander with your skill in battle, reveal yourself to be marked by the knight of blood in the process.

 _Red -_ Karkat: Slowly fall ill to a hopefully not fatal disease.

 _Hasilith -_ Sollux, Karkat or Gamzee: do something badass then counteract your new point of badassery with something pathetic.

 _gutza1 -_ Dave/Roxy: Show your enemies that Rogues do it from behind!

[System Notes](http://celynbrum.tumblr.com/post/149274544145/lodad-system-notes-chapter-144)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If this chapter seems a little short, it's because the bulk of the work went into the mechanics. Enemies that summon more enemies suck, and also so does damage reduction. Fuck that noise.
> 
> I may or may not post the next update a week early; if so, it'll be next Saturday. I guess we'll find out at the weekend!


	145. ==> Jane: Flee The Undead Hordes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Hero point votes:**  
>  Rose 1  
> Jade 1  
> Sollux 2  
> Karkat 1
> 
>  **Current Hero Points:**  
>  John 1/5, Rose 1/5, ~~Dave 3/3,~~ Jade 1/3  
>  Karkat 1/5, Gamzee 2/3, Terezi 2/5  
> Sollux 2/3, Aradia 2/3, Kanaya 4/5  
> Jane 0/5, Jake 3/5, Roxy 2/3, Dirk 1/3

## ==> Jane: Flee The Undead Hordes

There isn't time to dally arguing or looking for Dave. Halfway to the caravan you realise you won't make it in time.

“This way!” you shout, and you start to tug Terezi in the opposite direction, away from the oncoming horde.

“Don't yank!” she hisses, pulling her arm out of your grip. Before you can object she races ahead towards the trees. The new light in the sky casts odd shadows and you realise you can possibly confuse your pursuers in the trees, with a little luck.

“Terezi! This way!” you shout as you pass the tree-line. Somehow, miraculously, she veers around the tree she was about to run into. Being unable to see hasn't slowed her down in the least. You consider that she might just be completely mad just before you run headlong into a thick tangle of thorns.

“Ware thorns!” you shout. Behind you there's a flash of metal as the vanguard of the undead meet Dirk. They come off worse for the encounter.

Terezi pops out next to you, grinning broadly. Her eyes are scorched a bright, bloody red. “Hah! You are a beacon, Madam Warden.”

“Oh, shut up,” you snap. You can't see what's happening behind you, and you hover anxiously beside the thorns.

Terezi cocks her head. “Kanaya and Dirk are unharmed.”

“You can _hear_ that?”

Terezi's grin grows. “It seems I can hear a great many things.” Her smile falters, just slightly. “The Seer of Mind is a blind goddess.”

And really, what are you supposed to say to _that?_ You swallow as your other two companions come barrelling up, none the worse for wear. “I'm going to see if I can get through this thing.”

You are no forester, but thorn thickets aren't that different to city crowds. Brute force won't get you as far as aiming for the gaps that are already there. You duck and weave through the branches, trying to break open easier ways for Terezi as you go.

“You are going first,” you hear Kanaya saying. “No arguments.”

“Yeah, we'll watch your back,” Dirk agrees.

“Are you mocking me, orange crème?” Terezi asks. The thorns rustle behind you, and you reach a hand back.

“This way,” you say. “Towards my voice.”

“Towards your voice leads into a prickly branch,” says Terezi, but she pops out only a little scratched up.

“What are those things?” you ask, somewhat frantic. You can hear the sounds of struggle again from the other side of the thornbush.

“Cadavers!” Dirk yells. He follows it up with a grunt of pain.

“Of course!” says Terezi. She turns her head towards you. Sort of. “We need to stay ahead of them. cadavers carry filth fever, and they're impossible to destroy without magic. And with a horde like this, there are probably Cadaver Lords behind us.”

“That's worse?”

“Oh, yes,” says Terezi. She crouches down beside you and helps to pull branches aside. You peer into the shadows, desperately hoping to see one of your friends.

“What are we going to do if a cadaver comes through first?” Terezi wonders.

“Shut _up!”_

“Can we please try to remain calm?” Kanaya asks, sounding less than calm herself as she squeezes out to join you both. She's bleeding from some deep scratches, her clothes are torn and muddy, and her shades are missing. “Dirk is still pinned down.”

“We need to help him!” You start struggling back through the thorns, but as you do you hear Dirk's voice beginning a familiar pattern.

“The Knight and the Bandit? Really?” you say, to no-one in particular, right before Dirk shoots out at impossible speed. He's glowing with orange sparkles, and for a moment you think his eyes are shaded with dark lenses like the ones Kanaya is missing.

“Enemies behind, escape route ahead, gotta get moving or we're gonna get dead,” he raps out, dropping it into the battle poem without a missed beat. It's utterly ridiculous and for a second you almost miss what he's saying by focusing on the absurd way he says it.

“They were right behind us,” Kanaya says, and you snap out of it.

“Well, it took long enough for us to get through that thicket.” You turn to see the path ahead and nod. “Okay. Terezi, there's a slope and a river. It looks shallow enough to ford.”

Terezi sniffs the air. “I can smell the water.”

“You cannot, however, see how steep the slope is,” says Kanaya. She touches Terezi's arm and Terezi grips hers, offering the other side to Dirk. Together you all clamber down a hillside slippery with loose rocks and reach the riverbank. As soon as you're on level ground Terezi lets go and plunges ahead, ignoring your shout of alarm.

You need not have worried. She crosses the river before you even have your feet wet, forging through the water with impressive determination. You are somewhat in awe as you follow. If you weren't so busy worrying you might admit you're developing the beginnings of a crush.

“Come on, slowpokes!” Terezi crows. Kanaya seems to be struggling a little so you and Dirk help her up onto the other bank, Dirk still gleaming with darts of magical light. He's twitching and shifting at superhuman speed, almost blinking from one place to another. You suppose you should be glad he's holding himself back to the speed of the rest of you.

“This is most inconvenient,” Kanaya says, squinting at the hedged field ahead.

“I'm sorry?” you say, and she gestures to her watering eyes.

“It is far too bright,” she snaps. “If it weren't for that... _thing_ up there, I could cope, but as it is...”

“Planetary objects aren't intended for a face,” says Dirk, clambering up beside you. “It's creepy and it's freaky and the world is out of place. It's true your eyes are hurtin', bleedin' 'cause it's bright; but none of us are happy in an eldrich fuckin' light.”

“What he said,” you say. You look around for Terezi and find her trying to clamber over the hedge by feel alone. “Let's keep moving. There has to be an easier way over that thing.”

“Over there,” says Kanaya, pointing to a stile half-hidden in the foliage. You look back to Terezi but Dirk's already there, giving her a leg over the hedge. You wince as she topples over to the other side.

“This way!” you yell, and the three of you that can actually see race to the stile, hopping over it. You glance back over your shoulder in time to see the thorns crashing aside, the first of the cadavers shoving their way through. “Move it!”

“There might be a problem with that,” says Kanaya, very carefully. You turn to see her and Dirk frozen in place, Dirk's recitation a low murmur. Terezi is frozen by the hedge, on her feet but head turning in confusion.

Between you and the far side of the field is a very, very irritated looking ram.

You're a city girl at heart, but people do keep livestock within Porthaven's walls, and you momentarily flash back to an incident a couple of years earlier involving a remarkably similar ram, a band of drunken apprentices, and the artisan's market. It took a third of the city watch all day to corral the bloody thing, and almost everyone had needed a healer afterwards. It still feels ridiculous to be frozen in place before a bossy sheep when there are unnatural monstrosities chasing you, but, well...

“Alright,” you say, because you are _absolutely certain_ that the two drow woman know sweet Fanny Adams about sheep, and you've never heard anyone accuse the Phooka of being farmers. That makes you the expert here. “Kanaya, help Terezi. Dirk, shut up. The three of you, stick to the side there, out of his way.”

“What about you?” asks Terezi, as Kanaya goes to guide her around. The shimmers around Dirk fade as he stops reciting.

“I've got this,” you say, with more confidence than you're feeling. You take a step towards the ram, who instantly focuses on you and lowers his head. You cast back and remember what the grizzled old farmer, in town to sell his fleeces, told you after stopping the rampaging ram so long ago.

“Oh, no you don't, mister,” you snap, and lunge forward before the ram can charge you. With as much force as you can muster, you punch it between the eyes, and then ignore your stinging hand to grab its horns and tackle it to the ground. “Who's the big sheep here? Me, that's who!”

“Did she just tackle the ram?” you hear Terezi whisper.

“Quite possibly,” Kanaya whispers back. “I might be hallucinating.”

With one last glare, you release the ram and step back. It scrambles to its feet and blinks at you in confusion. Feeling daring, you reach out and scratch it on the head, using the hand that doesn't feel broken.

“Good boy,” you say, at something of a loss. The ram huffs, but lets you move past. You very deliberately do not run to the other end of the field, where the others are looking for an exit. There's rustling behind you, and you look around to see rotting bodies hauling themselves over the far hedge.

“Damn it!” You're too far back to help the others search. If only Terezi and her sharp eyes were still in commission!

The moment you think it, there is a disorienting lurch, and the same power that brings healing to your fingertips rushes forward. Life, healing, helping... you can't fix her eyes. But you can reach out and press gently, pivoting the situation like a see-saw.

Everything goes black. Terezi shouts.

“It's temporary!” you shout back, waving your arms in sudden confusion. How did she manage to run so fast like this? “Find an exit!”

“Over here!” Dirk shouts. You stumble towards his voice and arms catch you.

“I'm through,” says Terezi, and the see-saw tips again. You see the open gate and run through it. Terezi gives you a bitter smile.

“Well. Isn't that interesting,” she says. You wince.

“I'm sorry,” you say, because you are, even though you're not quite sure why. You're not even sure how you sacrificed your own sight for hers, even for a few seconds. You're even less sure why that's a bad thing.

Whatever time you gained at the thorn thicket is failing rapidly, and despite the angry ram bellowing behind you it's time to get moving. Ahead is a farmhouse and without stopping to question you all run towards it. Maybe it's shelter, maybe it isn't, but it's certain you can't run forever.

The farmyard is covered in traps for the unwary- chickens and planks and divots underfoot. You watch where you're putting your feet and get outstripped by Kanaya, who races past you like she's running on cobblestone. All three of you take turns guiding Terezi, warning her as she's about to trip or crash, and somehow you make it up to the farmhouse in one piece. Of course, once you're there you find a new problem.

“It's locked tight!” You rattle the door again while Kanaya tries the shutters, to no avail. “Can anyone pick locks?”

You don't even realise you looked at Dirk when you spoke until he raises an eyebrow. “No, but apparently we can racially stereotype like fucking pros.”

You flush. “I'm sorry, I just... we need a way in!”

“What about the chimney?” Kanaya offers, pointing to the roof. You nod and try to scramble up, but even with Dirk giving you a boost, you can't get a good footing on the fibrous mats that cover the sloped roof.

“I can't climb,” says Terezi, her usually rosy-dark face looking ashen. “I can't see to climb a house!”

“Maybe I can give you my sight again. We'll think of something,” you assure, although you really have no idea what...

“Oh,” says Kanaya. Her voice sounds very tight. You all look around to find her bobbing about a foot off the ground.

“Nice,” says Dirk.

“I... I was trying to think of ways to get up and it just...”

“Talk later, carry now,” you snap, and push Terezi towards her. Terezi squeaks as she is grabbed and then Kanaya soars upwards, depositing Terezi beside the chimney before dropping back down.

“You've been holding out on me!” Terezi yells after her.

“I rather think I've been holding out on myself,” you hear Kanaya mutter as she hauls you upwards. It's uncomfortable, to say the least, and you reach out for Terezi's outstretched hands and let her anchor you as Kanaya goes back for Dirk. You can see the undead charging across the farmyard now, their hands stretching upwards for Dirk as Kanaya whisks him out of reach.

“Hold on,” she says grimly, depositing him next to you, then swoops off again before you can object. There is a brief undead wail from below and then she appears again, setting her lost shades back over her face.

“I saw one of them wearing them,” she sniffs, landing on the roof as light as a feather.

Dirk salutes her. “You are a fucking inspiration. I mean it.”

You look uneasily at the growing crowd of rotting corpses below. “We should get behind these walls. Maybe see if there's a cellar.” You'd feel much better being well away from them.

“I hope Maplehoof is okay,” says Terezi, thoughtfully.

“She'll be fine,” says Dirk. Perhaps you'd have to know him to hear the uncertainty. You rest your hand across his, briefly- if anything can survive this, it's his not-quite-mortal teleporting pony, but that doesn't mean he isn't worried- then turn your attention to the chimney.

“Alright,” you say. “Anyone got any ideas how to get down here?”

### Suggestions Used

 _J-Rook -_ Terezi: put that monster lore to good use, tell us what your fighting.

 _ttd0000 -_ Kanaya: Amaze everyone with your ability to fly.... including yourself. Watch out for that tree!

 _1JakoftheMoon1 -_ Kanaya: lose your shades, and consequentially your cool.

 _ttd0000 -_ Kanaya: Acquire a set of shades, maybe (but not necessarily) from a beaten foe.

 _Kimiko_Saito -_ Someone: make a comment about planetary objects with faces being creepy af (cause we all know how well It turned out for Link, and the teletubby sun baby is terrifying)

[System Notes](http://celynbrum.tumblr.com/post/150266880675/lodad-system-notes-chapter-145)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have been chewing up the hero points... eeeeexcellent!
> 
> **A re-iteration of fun links for Pathfinder and D &D!**
> 
>  [Paizo Pathfinder System Reference Document (SRD)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/): Almost all the official Pathfinder rules, arranged by book.
> 
> [D20 PF SRD Wiki](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/): Almost all the official Pathfinder rules, plus a load of unofficial and third party ones, arranged in a nice searchable wiki format.
> 
> [5th Edition D&D System Reference Document](http://www.5esrd.com/): I have never used this but I hear good things about 5th edition. Give it a try; I'll be looking at it!
> 
> [Roll20.net](https://roll20.net/): Want to play tabletop games with your online friends? That's why Roll20 exists! I've played a game on it with friends and friends of friends spanning two continents, and it worked great... although there was a lot of silly doodling. :P
> 
> EDIT: Two more 5th Ed links provided in the comments below!  
> [Monster Manual](http://d20.sabotender.com/5th/Source/DnD%205e%20Monsters%20Manual.pdf) and [Running a Game](https://open5e.com/running-a-game/index.html)
> 
> Thanks to [zang269](http://archiveofourown.org/users/zang269/pseuds/zang269) for that!


	146. ==>==> Author: Recap Story So Far (Part 1)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Hero point votes:**  
>  Rose 1  
> Jade 1  
> Sollux 2  
> Karkat 1  
> Jane 2  
> A DRAW HAS OCCURRED! D20 Roll - Odds for Jane, Evens for Sollux  
> ROLL OF 17 - JANE GAINS ONE HERO POINT!  
> Voting for the next hero point award will open in two weeks time. Votes cast before 09/10/2016 will not be counted.
> 
>  **Current Hero Points:**  
>  John 1/5, Rose 1/5, Dave 3/3, Jade 1/3  
> Karkat 1/5, Gamzee 2/3, Terezi 2/5  
> Sollux 2/3, Aradia 2/3, Kanaya 4/5  
> Jane 1/5, Jake 3/5, Roxy 2/3, Dirk 1/3

## ==>==> Author: Recap Story So Far (Part 1)

Our story begins with a mysterious dream, in which a past carcinoGeneticist talks to himself in the present. In the post-game universe he remembers lives spent as a farmer, as a storyteller, an oracle, a heretic and a revolutionary, but now he is alone and has been for a millennium. The other winners of the game are away living mortal lives, reincarnating again and again without ever coming back to godhood. Then, unexpectedly, all of the others begin to die at once in the mortal world. As this happens intruders enter the Axis of the Cosmos. With little time to act, carcinoGeneticist uses Rose's tools and his own power to bind the fates of the incarnated gods together, then passes through the Door into mortality.

Waking in the Drow city of Golgesi, casteless slum-dweller Karkat launches his plan to rescue his best friend and unofficial adopted brother, noble-born Gamzee Kutsanmis, from his mother's unwanted machinations of marriage. Their escape is thwarted by Lawkeeper Terezi, on watch for threat of assassins at the nuptial preparations. Karkat is arrested and then enslaved, while Gamzee is delivered back into his mother's hands. Upon interrogating Karkat, Terezi finds his vision journal and learns that he is marked by a god as she is. Already sympathetic to him, she does some research and predicts that there are fourteen marked people, one for each of the creator gods.

Meanwhile, dwarf-raised Tuatha gunslinger Jake Quartzkin wanders too far from the Clanhold and is abducted by Gamzee's bride-to-be. Given as a wedding present to Gamzee's family, he meets Karkat, who discovers that he too is marked. When Jake saves Gamzee from being poisoned by assassins working for the Temple of the Seer, the three of them and Terezi begin plotting a new escape plan.

At the same time, in the city of Porthaven, the Oracle of Light has visions of impending doom for the world. With her own Church unwilling to listen, Rose and her sister Roxy elect to flee the city and travel to the mystical Starspire mountain. To do this they enlist the help of two aasimar brothers, Dave and Dirk, who were raised by a wandering Phooka band. Their plan is discovered by their friends, City Guards John and Jane Warden, whose parents run an adventuring inn. The Warden siblings decide to delay their planned meeting with their long-lost brother and sister to accompany the Oracle and her companions. While at the Phooka camp they are attacked by undead Dhampir and realise that the predicted doom may have a deliberate hand behind it; Dirk and Dave's guardian reveals that their god-symbol marks are more than mere birthmarks and contain power. She gives her blessing for them to leave.

In the Greenweald forest between Porthaven and the Dragonshard mountains, professional adventurers Aradia, Sollux and Kanaya find an ancient temple on their mapping expedition. Inside they meet Druid Guardian Jade, on a journey to meet her family for the first time in years. Together they find a crumbling Aelfen skeleton guarding an ancient journal, which they retrieve from the ruins. Getting a message from her mentor that her brother Jake is missing, Jade hires the other three to come to the mountains and help her save him. Kanaya, who escaped Golgesi with Terezi's help long ago, tries to warn them of what may have befallen Jake. She sends a message magically to Terezi to ask for her assistance.

Terezi recieves Kanaya's letter at the wrong moment, tipping too much of her hand to the assassins and cementing her resolve to work with the other marked people to escape Golgesi. With her help Karkat, Gamzee and Jake manage to sabotage the advanced golem Gamzee's mother and bride have conspired to build, and abscond from the wedding with pursuit hot on their heels. Making it to the Shanties where Karkat grew up, they plan out their next step. They decide to head for the surface world and Terezi sends Kanaya a magical message. Meanwhile in his trance visions Karkat talks with Rose and Aradia, and on waking remembers that he was thinking as the Knight of Blood talking with the Seer of Light and Maid of Time.

Kanaya, Aradia, Sollux and Jade make it to the Dragonshard Mountains and meet Jake's eccentric dwarven family. While with the dwarves they learn a little about the Lunar Gods- the divine Lords of the Six Lunar Planes- and they reveal their godmarks to one another, learning of Jake's in the process. When they receive Terezi's message they set out with Jake's dwarven family for the Deep Caverns, but are soon separated by a cave-in accidentally caused by Sollux.

The party from Porthaven are ambushed by nakking kobolds while travelling through the forest. Quickly gaining the upper hand, John chooses to negotiate with them, and the party is escorted back to the kobold caves. There they discover the kobolds knew they were coming, forewarned by a “golden elf” that smelled like a shaman and knew they were marked by the gods- a fact that comes out while Dave is decyphering a kobold legend drawn on the walls. The kobolds beg for their help, as they are about to be hunted down and slaughtered by “the Hidden Ones”, and the heroes agree to come to their aid. They stay overnight, John befriending a young kobold and naming her Casey while a prank war begins. In the morning, Jane is surprised when a second Dave appears and delivers a magical sword to himself via her, but the party soon set out to find the Hidden Ones and save the kobolds.

In Golgesi, Karkat takes them to see a dangerous crime boss called the Bone Maiden in order to trade their extraneous gear for more useful stuff. Terezi plays a strategic board game while negotiating with the Bone Maiden, impressing her. They trade for what they need and, since their gear is distinctive and hard to fence, take a curio to make up the difference. The Bone Maiden gives them a half-amulet left years before by a man named Alekor, who was on a quest unknown to her. It is half of one that once belonged to the Labyrinth Maker and is, with its partner, the key to navigating the Great Maze and reclaiming his treasures. The Bone Maiden believes Karkat will recognise Alekor if he sees him and sends her love, although Karkat has no idea who that might be. As they are leaving her boat, they are met by Mohan, an assassin-slave sent by Gamzee's mother to stop them. They jump into the river to escape him, but are mugged by former friends of Karkat when they crawl to shore. During the fight Karkat loses his grip thanks to a spell and is washed away, along with Jake's pistol, and Gamzee's pack is stolen. After the fight Jake manages to calm a raging, grief-stricken Gamzee with a cooldown hug before the three remaining escapees head out for the Deep Caverns.

Jade, Sollux, Aradia, Thyri and Bryn (Jake's Mum and Sister) find the bones of several long-dead adventurers a hidden cavern-temple with carven images of all the gods on the walls. The markings match the images in the battered journal they found earlier. As they are investigating they are challenged by the ghost of an elven adventurer, Sir William Cosbie, who died twenty-three years earlier on a quest to retrieve a fragment of the Amulet of Guidance from the temple. He cannot rest until he knows the fate of his companions, last seen beset by Drow, and believes Sollux to be the kin of one Marius Wordweaver, a tiefling wizard. As they question the ghost they are distracted by the arrival of Karkat, who washes up outside the cavern, cursing loudly. Sir Cosbie senses the amulet he's carrying and enters a towering, vengeful rage, assuming that his companions are dead. He seems to know the name Alekor when Karkat speaks it, but does not elaborate. Sollux swears to avenge the killers of Cosbie's companions to calm him, and Sir Cosbie enters the amulet, swearing to aid him so long as Sollux quests on Sir Cosbie's behalf.

Meanwhile, Kanaya, Gunnar, Lars and Vidar (Jake's father and brothers) travel fairly peacefully until they make camp in the Deep Caverns. When the dwarves ask questions, Kanaya explains Golgesi politics to them, revealing that she fled the city because her family were controversial reformists. This, combined with her godmark, put her life in danger. Their camp is disrupted when they are approached by a band of Driders. The half-Drow half-spiders intend to eat them, but Kanaya uses her connection to the Sylph to talk them out of it. She instructs them not to eat her or her friends, and they agree. One requests a mother's kiss, and she gives it gracefully, feeling pity for the creatures.

Searching the nearby forest, the Porthaven party find the Hidden Ones- a town of Halflings built entirely in the trees. The halflings explain that they too met the Golden Elf, an Aelfen, who told them that people would be coming in time for Hunters' Day. Rose starts to suspect that the Golden Elf may be a mystic from the Starspire as he seems to know their moves in advance. John and Jane send a letter to their parents in Porthaven, then they all go to see the master of ceremonies. It transpires that long ago, kobold warbands were rampant, and one group of their victims prayed to the Huntress- the Lunar Lord Regulus- for aid. She transformed them into werebeasts, and now every time her moon is full they come out of the Far Forest and kill everything in their path. The halflings live in the trees to avoid being killed by these Changed. After some persuading, they agree to let the vulnerable kobolds into their town for safety, but refuse entry to any who can fight. The party spend the night in the halfling town and tell ghost stories. Rose delivers some history, telling the tale of a warrior-priest betrayed by his god who swore vengeance, and whose cursed golden helm launched the bloody war that led to the current theocracy in the city of Porthaven. Dave discovers a name on his new sword- Caliburn- and when he speaks it the sword magically repairs itself, much to the surprise of all. Returned letters from Porthaven reveal that the Oracle is thought to be kidnapped, and that rumours of who is to blame abound.

Terezi and Jake guide a drug-withdrawn Gamzee through the Deep Caverns. Finding a dead Drider, Terezi explains to an unnerved Jake that they are made alchemically from Drow infants. When Gamzee's behaviour begins to disturb Terezi, Jake has a meltdown, moments before they are attacked by a Cloaker. Gamzee defeats the creature just as a party of adventurers arrive. Seeing that the three of them are in trouble, the adventurers offer their aid. Travelling with them, they learn that they are in the Deep Caverns to help refugee Drow escape to the surface.

Karkat dreams of the Knight of Blood, who tries to shock him into remembering with a vision of his gruesome death in a past life. He wakes to discover his journal is missing. Aradia insists on showing him the ancient journal they found, which Karkat realises is the same as his. The Driders that encountered Kanaya earlier then find them and at first consider eating Karkat, as he wasn't covered by Kanaya's request. They decide not to when they discover he smells familiar, calling him “brother”, much to Karkat's distress. Sollux causes another cave-in and they get away, but in the aftermath Karkat's godmark is revealed. Aradia, Sollux and Jade share their marks too.

Rose's dreams have convinced her that the Lunar Lords may have relevant information about the threat the world faces. The party splits; Rose, Dirk and Jane travel to the Far Forest while John, Dave and Roxy return to the kobolds with a halfling emissary. On the way back to the kobolds, Dave picks up an orange feathery asshole stalker that yells insults at him. When they arrive back at the kobold cave they learn that Dirk's horse, Maplehoof, has wandered off in the night. They talk the kobolds into accepting the halfings' offer, although it is reluctant, and leave the warriors fortifying while they escort the vulnerable back to safety.

Dirk, Rose and Jane get lost in the woods and pass through a mysterious stone that takes them to another plane of existence. There they find a number of gnomes who turn out to be the lycanthropes they were looking for. Chased by the werelynxes, they come across Maplehoof- now a unicorn- and are led towards the sanctum of the Lunar Lord Regulus.

In the Deep Caverns, the escapees and their adventuring escorts run into Mohan, his daughter Dilara, and a posse of Drow sent to retrieve Gamzee. During the fight the adventurers reveal themselves to be followers of the Knight of Blood, and after the fight their orc warrior Myoc calms Gamzee from his rage, claiming worship of the Bard of Rage. He insists on training Gamzee to properly harness his rage and better understand his connection to the Bard. Later, they meet the Driders and Gamzee sees that they look like Karkat's mother. The Driders tell them that Kanaya is coming and that Karkat is alive, and one of them flirts with Jake.

Kanaya and her group come across an ancient Drow mine stretching into the depths of the earth. They take a ride in a magical mine cart to get across, then Kanaya finds Karkat's journal in a stream. She recognises it as similar to the one they found in the ancient temple, but easier to read. Immediately afterwards they come across six ragged Drow. Making peace with these strangers, they are pursued by a shadow until they come out at the chasm and see Aradia, Sollux and their party across the way. Terezi, Jake and Gamzee's group arrive at the same time at a different point on the mineshaft, led there by the Driders who had returned to lead them to their friends.

A black dragon emerges from the pit, and the combined forces of all three parties fight it together. Between them they defeat it, although some serious injuries are sustained. During the fight Terezi leaps onto the dragon's back; when it falls she is pulled to safety by another misplaced Dave, whom she of course does not recognise and who runs off a moment later.

Dirk, Rose and Jane are saved from the werelynxes by the appearance of the Lunar Lord Regulus, also known as the Huntress, who turns out to be none other than Nepeta. She explains that she can't unmake the lycanthropes; that requires the powers of the Prince of Heart, but he has forgotten all about her. She agrees to help them contact him if they will engage in some match-making for her, the specifics to be delivered at a later time. She then tells them to find Karkat and find out about thirteen people who died twenty-four years ago. She suggests that the Brotherhood of the Black Hand could tell them more.

Meanwhile Roxy, Dave and John do not make it back to the halfling town in time, and have to fight to defend the kobolds against a werelynx attack. The halflings and kobolds fight side-by-side to save each other and by morning, when their three companions are returned to the halfling town by Regulus' magic, the old enemies are on the path to reconciliation. The Porthaven party say their farewells and set out once again for the Starspire.

Back in the Quartzkin Clanhold, everyone who was in the Deep Caverns takes stock and makes plans. Jade and Jake plan to travel to Porthaven in search of their long-lost family, and Sollux and Aradia elect to come with them, as their adventuring contract is up. Kanaya chooses to go with Terezi, Karkat and Gamzee, who will be accompanying the adventurers and refugee Drow northwards. Her plan is to meet with Sollux and Aradia in Whitecliff to accompany Sollux to the Arcane College later. Goodbyes are said and promises made, and the two new parties set out once again for distant horizons.

**To Be Continued...**

### Suggestions Used:

 _BooksKeepSecrets -_ Author: Recap? Somewhere in here I have completely lost track of what's happening with like half the groups!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So.
> 
> Following asking you guys, my idea for the next set of filler chapters was the Lunar Lords. And it still is. Buuuuut a number of you have told me you reread the story, and someone else said they had lost track, and I realised I had sort of lost track somewhat too...
> 
> ...all of which leads us here, to this recap, which covers about the first 70 chapters and what turned out to be the first story arc of LODAD. I plan to make more of these in future so if anyone ever loses track of what the actual fuck is happening, they can just check the recaps instead of needing to reread EVERYTHING.
> 
> Thanks you guys, for being my readers. You are made of win.


	147. -- LEVEL NINE --

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Hero point votes:**  
>  Voting now open for the next Hero Point award: one person will get one after three chapters. 
> 
> **Current Hero Points:**  
>  John 2/5, Rose 2/5, ~~Dave 3/3,~~ Jade 2/3  
>  Karkat 2/5, ~~Gamzee 3/3,~~ Terezi 3/5  
>  ~~Sollux 3/3, Aradia 3/3, Kanaya 5/5~~  
>  Jane 2/5, Jake 4/5, ~~Roxy 3/3,~~ Dirk 2/3

JOHN EGBERT [FIGHTER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/fighter.html#_fighter) ([TWO-HANDED FIGHTER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/fighter.html#_two-handed-fighter)) 9  
NEUTRAL GOOD

TL:DR - John now has a feat called "Death from Above" which pretty much does what it says on the tin, and his godmark lets him walk on the air.

[ ](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/thj4e22n4vt8re1/John%20Egbert.png?dl=0)

BASIC STATISTICS  
GENDER: Male  
HAIR/EYES: Black hair, blue eyes  
HOMELAND: City of Porthaven (Outer Ring)  
DEITY: The Heir of Breath  
LANGUAGES: Common, High Elven  
RACE: Tuatha (High Elf)

ATTRIBUTES  
STRENGTH: 16[+3]  
DEXTERITY: 13[+1]  
CONSTITUTION: 12[+1]  
INTELLIGENCE: 10[+0]  
WISDOM: 12[+1]  
CHARISMA: 13[+1]

HIT POINTS: 68/68  
HERO POINTS: 2/5  
INITIATIVE: +1  
BASE SPEED/S: 30ft (land)

ARMOUR CLASS [AC]: 16  
TOUCH AC: 11  
FLAT-FOOTED AC: 15

BASE ATTACK BONUS [BAB]: +9/+4  
BASIC MELEE ATTACK: +12/+7  
BASIC RANGED ATTACK: +10/+5  
COMBAT MANEUVER BONUS [CMB]: +12/+7(14 for Sundering)  
COMBAT MANEUVER DEFENCE [CMD]: 23(25 for Sundering)

SAVES  
FORTITUDE: +8  
REFLEX: +5  
WILL: +5

[WEAPONS/ATTACKS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_weapon-descriptions)  
+1 [GHOST-TOUCHED](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/magicArmsAndArmor/weaponSpecialAbilities.html#_ghost-touch) [PLANAR](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/magicArmsAndArmor/weaponSpecialAbilities.html#_planar) [LUCERNE HAMMER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/advancedGear.html#_lucerne-hammer) \- Magical. Wielded two-handed and technically a polearm, this weapon has greater reach than most, a spike on the reverse of the head, and is also FUCKING TERRIFYING.  
[DAGGER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_dagger) \- Can be thrown, range 10ft.

EQUIPMENT - [CARRYING CAPACITY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/additionalRules.html#_carrying-capacity) (STR 17)

EQUIPMENT - ITEM SLOTS  
CLOTHING: ARTISAN'S OUTFIT  
This outfit consists of a shirt with buttons, drawstring pants, shoes, and a slightly battered hat. It also includes a belt for carrying small items such as a money pouch.

ARMOUR: CHAIN SHIRT OF SPELL-STORING DEFENCE +1  
+5 armour bonus, +4 max DEX bonus, -1 Armour Check Penalty, 20% Arcane Spell Failure Chance, LIGHT  
SPECIAL: This variant on [Spell-Storing Armour](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/magicArmsAndArmor/armorSpecialAbilities.html#_spell-storing) allows a spellcaster to store a single beneficial touch spell of up to 2rd level in it. Any time a creature hits the wearer with a melee attack or melee touch attack, the armour can cast the spell on the wearer as a swift action if the wearer desires. Once the spell has been cast from the armour, a spellcaster can cast any other beneficial touch spell of up to 3rd level into it. The armour magically imparts to the wielder the name of the spell currently stored within it.

EQUIPMENT - POSSESSIONS  
+1 Ghost-Touched Planar Lucerne Hammer 12lbs, Chain Shirt of Spell-Storing Defence +1 25lbs, Dagger 1lb, Waterskin 4lbs, Masterwork Studded Leather 20lbs

>BACKPACK, MASTERWORK 4lbs (Capacity 60lbs, +1 STR to carry loads)  
Tent (Medium, 2 people) 30lbs, Bedroll 5lbs, Parade Armour 20lbs

>POUCH, BELT 0.5lbs (Capacity 10lbs)  
Flint and Steel, Bird Feather Token [x2], Itching Powder [x1] 2lbs

TOTAL 100.5lbs (41.5lbs without backpack)

EQUIPMENT - MONEY  
0CP, 6SP, 60GP, 0PP  
OTHER:

SKILLS  
TRAINED  
BLUFF +5(4), DIPLOMACY +8(7), ESCAPE ARTIST +4(3), +KNOWLEDGE(DUNGEONEERING) +10(7), +PROFESSION(PORTHAVEN GUARD) +5(1)

UNTRAINED  
ACROBATICS +1*, APPRAISE +0, +CLIMB +2*, +CRAFT +0, DISGUISE +1, HEAL +1, +INTIMIDATE +1, PERCEPTION +3, PERFORM +1, +RIDE +1*, SENSE MOTIVE +1, STEALTH +1*, +SURVIVAL +1, +SWIM +2*  
(FLY +1*)

*Armour Check Penalty: Skill at –0 due to armour worn.  
+Class Skill

FEATS  
[POWER ATTACK [REQUIRES: STR 13, BAB+1]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_power-attack)  
The character can make exceptionally deadly melee attacks by sacrificing accuracy for strength.

[FURIOUS FOCUS [REQUIRES: POWER ATTACK]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/advancedFeats.html#_furious-focus)  
Even in the midst of fierce and furious blows, the character can find focus in the carnage and his seemingly wild blows strike home.

[BLUDGEONER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/ultimateCombatFeats.html#_bludgeoner)  
The character can knock foes out cold with just about any blunt instrument.

[STEP UP [REQUIRES: BAB +1]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#step-up)  
The character can close the distance when a foe tries to move away.

[DEATH FROM ABOVE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/ultimateCombatFeats.html#death-from-above)  
The character allows gravity to add extra force to his charges.

[RACIAL ABILITIES: ELVEN](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advancedRaceGuide/coreRaces/elves.html#_elf-racial-traits)  
LANGUAGES - Tuatha begin play speaking Common and High Elven. Tuatha with high Intelligence scores can choose from the following: Celestial, Draconic, Gnoll, Gnome, Goblin, Orc, and Sylvan.

SPECIAL ABILITIES  
GODMARKED  
[HERO’S FORTUNE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/advancedNewRules.html#_hero's-fortune) \- Even at the start of his career, it was clear that the character had a chance at greatness, and his legend continues to grow with every adventure.  
[DEFLECTION AURA](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/cleric.html#_deflection-aura) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) - The character can emit an aura that makes nearby allies harder to hit for a short time dependent on his character level.  
EXTRA - The character receives a +1 resistance bonus on saving throws. This bonus increases by +1 for every 5 levels he possesses.  
[WHISPERING WIND](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/whisperingWind.html#_whispering-wind) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (4 USES/DAY) - Sends a short message 1 mile/level.  
[WIND WALL](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/windWall.html#_wind-wall) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (3 USES/DAY) – The character can summon the breeze to deflect arrows, smaller creatures, and gases.  
[GASEOUS FORM](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/gaseousForm.html#gaseous-form) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (2 USES/DAY) - The character and all his gear become insubstantial, misty, and translucent.  
[AURA OF PROTECTION](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/cleric.html#protection-domain)[SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (9 ROUNDS/DAY) – The character can emit a 30-foot aura of protection for a number of rounds per day equal to his character level. These rounds do not need to be consecutive.  
[AIR WALK](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/coreRulebook/spells/airWalk.html#air-walk) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) - The subject can tread on air as if walking on solid ground.  


CLASS FEATURES  
WEAPON AND ARMOUR PROFICIENCY: FIGHTER  
A fighter is proficient with all simple and martial weapons and with all armour (heavy, light, and medium) and shields (including tower shields).

FEAT: [CLEAVE [REQUIRES: POWER ATTACK]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_cleave)  
The fighter can strike two adjacent foes with a single swing.

FEAT: [GREAT CLEAVE [REQUIRES: CLEAVE, BAB +4]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_great-cleave)  
The fighter can strike many adjacent foes with a single blow.

FEAT: [PUSHING ASSAULT [REQUIRES: STR 15, POWER ATTACK, BAB +1]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/advancedFeats.html#_pushing-assault)  
A strike made with a two-handed weapon can push a similar sized opponent backward.

[SHATTERING STRIKE (+1)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/fighter.html#_shattering-strike) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
At 2nd level, the two-handed fighter gains a bonus to sunder attempts and on damage rolls made against objects. 

[OVERHAND CHOP [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/fighter.html#_overhand-chop)  
At 3rd level, a two-handed fighter making a single attack with a two-handed weapon strikes more powerfully.

[WEAPON TRAINING 2 (HAMMERS+2, POLEARMS +1) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/fighter.html#_weapon-training)  
_NB: Lucerne Hammers are part of the “Polearms” Group, and not the “Hammers” Group._  
At 5th level, the two-handed fighter selects a group of [two-handed melee weapons](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/fighter.html#_two-handed-fighter) with which he can hit harder and more accurately. Every four levels thereafter (9th, 13th, and 17th), the two-handed fighter becomes further trained in another group of weapons.

FEAT: [DISRUPTIVE [REQUIRES: FIGHTER LEVEL 6]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_disruptive)  
The fighter's training makes it difficult for enemy spellcasters to safely cast spells near him.

[BACKSWING [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/fighter.html#backswing)  
At 7th level, when a two-handed fighter makes a full attack with a two-handed weapon, he adds double his Strength bonus on damage rolls for all attacks after the first. This ability replaces armor training 2.

FEAT: [COMBAT REFLEXES](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#combat-reflexes)  
The fighter can make additional attacks of opportunity, and may also make attacks of opportunity while flat-footed.

* * *

ROSE LALONDE [ORACLE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/baseClasses/oracle.html) \- [DARK TAPESTRY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spellcastingClassOptions/oracle.html#_dark-tapestry) ([SEER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spellcastingClassOptions/oracle.html#_seer_\(archetype\))) 9  
TRUE NEUTRAL

TL:DR - Rose can now go into a trance and see the near future, and her godmark lets her overcome the effects of spells that would stop her moving. She can summon creatures from other planes and bargain with them now, too.

[ ](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/3jmigabf3wsuce2/Rose%20Lalonde.png?dl=0)

BASIC STATISTICS  
GENDER: Female  
HAIR/EYES: Blonde hair, purple eyes  
HOMELAND: City of Porthaven (Temple District)  
DEITY: The Seer of Light  
LANGUAGES: Common, Celestial, Abyssal, Draconic, Sylvan  
RACE: Aasimar

ATTRIBUTES  
STRENGTH: 8[-1]  
DEXTERITY: 12[+1]  
CONSTITUTION: 10[+0]  
INTELLIGENCE: 14[+2]  
WISDOM: 15[+2]  
CHARISMA: 19[+4]

HIT POINTS: 51/51  
HERO POINTS: 2/5  
INITIATIVE: +5  
BASE SPEED/S: 30ft (land)

ARMOUR CLASS [AC]: 18  
TOUCH AC: 11  
FLAT-FOOTED AC: 17

BASE ATTACK BONUS [BAB]: +6/+1  
BASIC MELEE ATTACK: +5/+0  
BASIC RANGED ATTACK: +7/+2   
COMBAT MANEUVER BONUS [CMB]: +5  
COMBAT MANEUVER DEFENCE [CMD]: 15

SAVES  
FORTITUDE: +3  
REFLEX: +4  
WILL: +8

[WEAPONS/ATTACKS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_weapon-descriptions)  
[CLAWS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/sorcerer.html#_abyssal) \- Grow instantly, 7 rounds/day, double attack (claw-claw).  
[DAGGER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_dagger) \- Can be thrown, range 10ft.  
[COLOUR SPRAY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/colorSpray.html#_color-spray) [WAND](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/magicItems/wands.html#_wands) (3/Day) – Standard Action to activate, does not provoke Attacks of Opportunity. 

EQUIPMENT - [CARRYING CAPACITY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/additionalRules.html#_carrying-capacity) (STR 8)

EQUIPMENT - ITEM SLOTS  
CLOTHING: ENTERTAINER'S OUTFIT  
This set of flashy- perhaps even gaudy- clothes is for entertaining. While the outfit looks whimsical, its practical design lets the character tumble, dance, walk a tightrope, or just run if the audience turns ugly.

ARMOUR: [SOOTHSAYER'S RAIMENT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/magicItems/armor.html#_soothsayer%27s-raiment) (DARK TAPESTRY – [WINGS OF DARKNESS REVELATION](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spellcastingClassOptions/oracle.html#_wings-of-darkness))  
+7 armour bonus, +2 max DEX bonus, -4 Armour Check Penalty, 30% Arcane Spell Failure Chance, MEDIUM.  
SPECIAL: This +1 chainmail is attuned to a particular oracular mystery and contains a revelation associated with that mystery. While wearing the armor, an oracle has access to that revelation and may use it as if she had it as a normal class feature. For divination spells with a percentage-based chance of success (such as augury and divination), the wearer's chance increases by +5.

EQUIPMENT - POSSESSIONS  
Colour Spray Wand, Dagger 1lb, Soothsayer's Raiment 40lbs, Waterskin 4lbs, Holy Symbol (Silver) 1lb, Signet Ring

>POUCH, BELT 0.5lbs (Capacity 10lbs)  
Flint and Steel, Sewing Needle, String/Twine [50ft] 0.5lbs

>POUCH, BELT 0.5lbs (Capacity 10lbs)  
Stationary, Sealing Wax 1lb, Ink (Black) [1oz. Vial], Ink (Purple) [1oz. Vial], Inkpen, Journal 1lb

TOTAL 9.5lbs

EQUIPMENT - MONEY  
9CP, 5SP, 17GP, 0PP  
OTHER:

SKILLS  
TRAINED  
+DIPLOMACY +14(6), +INTIMIDATE +13(7), +KNOWLEDGE HISTORY +10(5), +KNOWLEDGE NOBILITY +7(2), +KNOWLEDGE PLANES +17(9), +KNOWLEDGE RELIGION +13(8), +SENSE MOTIVE +14(9), +SPELLCRAFT +12(7), USE MAGIC DEVICE +6(3)

UNTRAINED  
ACROBATICS +1*, APPRAISE +2, BLUFF +3, CLIMB -1*, +CRAFT +2, +DISGUISE +3, ESCAPE ARTIST +1*, +HEAL +2, PERCEPTION +4, PERFORM +3, RIDE +1*, +STEALTH +1*, SURVIVAL +2, SWIM -1*  
(FLY +1*)

*Armour Check Penalty: Skill at –4 due to armour worn.  
+Class Skill

FEATS  
[COMBAT CASTING](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_combat-casting)  
The character is adept at spellcasting when threatened or distracted.

[SKILL FOCUS (KNOWLEDGE PLANES)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_skill-focus)  
The character is particularly adept at the selected skill.

[ELDRITCH HERITAGE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/ultimateMagicFeats.html#_eldritch-heritage) ([ABYSSAL](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/sorcerer.html#_abyssal)) [REQUIRES: CHA 13, SKILL FOCUS (KNOWLEDGE PLANES), CHARACTER LEVEL 3RD]  
The character gains the first-level bloodline power for the selected bloodline, slightly weaker than a sorcerer of equivalent level. In this case, that power is claws.

[IMPROVED INITIATIVE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#improved-initiative)  
The character's quick reflexes allow her to react rapidly to danger.

[PROPHETIC VISIONARY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/ultimateMagicFeats.html#prophetic-visionary) [REQUIRES: MYSTERY CLASS FEATURE]  
The character's oracular abilities give her a glimpse into the future.

[RACIAL ABILITIES: AASIMAR](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advancedRaceGuide/featuredRaces/aasimars.html#_aasimar-racial-traits)  
AASIMARS DO NOT COUNT AS OUTSIDERS FOR THE PURPOSE OF THIS SETTING.  
[DAYLIGHT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/daylight.html#_daylight) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Aasimars can touch an object and cause it to shed a brilliant light which drives back even magical darkness.  
LANGUAGES – Aasimars begin play speaking Common and Celestial. Aasimars with high Intelligence scores can choose any of the following bonus languages: Draconic, Dwarven, High Elven, Gnome, Halfling, and Sylvan.

SPECIAL ABILITIES  
GODMARKED  
[HERO’S FORTUNE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/advancedNewRules.html#_hero's-fortune) \- Even at the start of her career, it was clear that the character had a chance at greatness, and her legend continues to grow with every adventure.  
[LORE KEEPER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/cleric.html#_knowledge-domain) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] – The character can touch a creature to learn about its abilities and weaknesses.  
EXTRA – The character treats all Knowledge skills as class skills.  
[TRUE STRIKE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/trueStrike.html#_true-strike) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (4 USES/DAY) - The character gains temporary, intuitive insight into the immediate future during her next attack.  
[AUGERY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/augury.html#_augury) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (3 USES/DAY) - Tells whether a particular action will bring good or bad results in the immediate future.  
[BORROW FORTUNE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/spells/borrowFortune.html#borrow-fortune) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (2 USES/DAY) – Allows any d20 roll to be rolled twice, keeping the better result.  
[FREEDOM OF MOVEMENT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/freedomOfMovement.html#freedom-of-movement) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Enables the character or a creature she touches to move and attack normally for the duration of the spell, even under the influence of magic that usually impedes movement.

CLASS FEATURES  
WEAPON AND ARMOUR PROFICIENCY: ORACLE  
Oracles are proficient with all simple weapons, light armour, medium armour, and shields (except tower shields).

[CURSE: TONGUES (Abyssal)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/baseClasses/oracle.html#_tongues)  
Whenever the oracle is in combat, she can only speak and understand the Abyssal tongue. She automatically knows the language and can speak it at other times voluntarily.

[REVELATION: NATURAL DIVINATION [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY] (2 USES/DAY)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/baseClasses/oracle.html#_natural-divination)  
An oracle can read the entrails of a freshly killed animal, interpret the flights of birds, and chart marks in dirt or stone to gain small advantages at some point in the next day.

REVELATION: [GIFT OF PROPHECY [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spellcastingClassOptions/oracle.html#_gift-of-prophecy)(1 USE/DAY)  
Once per day, the Oracle can enter a trance to gain a glimpse of the future equivalent to the benefits of an [divination](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/magic.html#_divination) spell with 90% effectiveness.

REVELATION: [GIFT OF MADNESS [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] ](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spellcastingClassOptions/oracle.html#gift-of-madness)(7 USES/DAY, 7 ROUNDS)  
The Oracle taps into the unthinkable void between the stars and causes a single living creature within 30 feet to become confused for 1 round.

SPELLS  
LEVEL 0 [At Will] Save DC 14  
[DETECT MAGIC](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/detectMagic.html#detect-magic), [ENHANCED DIPLOMACY](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/all-spells/e/enhanced-diplomacy), [GUIDANCE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/guidance.html#guidance), [LIGHT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/light.html#light), [READ MAGIC](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/readMagic.html#read-magic), [RESISTANCE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/resistance.html#_resistance), [STABILIZE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/stabilize.html#stabilize)

LEVEL 1 [7/Day] Save DC 15  
[ABADAR'S](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/all-spells/a/abadar-s-truthtelling) [TRUTHTELLING](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/zoneOfTruth.html#zone-of-truth), [CURE LIGHT WOUNDS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/cureLightWounds.html#cure-light-wounds), [ENTROPIC SHIELD](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/entropicShield.html#_entropic-shield), [INFLICT LIGHT WOUNDS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/inflictLightWounds.html#inflict-light-wounds), [EMBRACE DESTINY](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/all-spells/e/embrace-destiny), [WEAPONWAND](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/all-spells/w/weaponwand), [FACE OF THE DEVOURER](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/all-spells/f/face-of-the-devourer)

LEVEL 2 [7/Day] Save DC 16  
[ANCESTRAL COMMUNION](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/all-spells/a/ancestral-communion), [CURE MODERATE WOUNDS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/cureModerateWounds.html#_cure-moderate-wounds), [DETECT THOUGHTS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/detectThoughts.html#_detect-thoughts), [INFLICT MODERATE WOUNDS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/inflictModerateWounds.html#_inflict-moderate-wounds), [BLINDING RAY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advancedRaceGuide/featuredRaces/dhampirs.html#blinding-ray), [STATUS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/coreRulebook/spells/status.html#status)

LEVEL 3 [7/Day] Save DC 17  
[CURE SERIOUS WOUNDS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/cureSeriousWounds.html#_cure-serious-wounds), [INFLICT SERIOUS WOUNDS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/inflictSeriousWounds.html#_inflict-serious-wounds), [CLAIRAUDIENCE/CLAIRVOYANCE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/clairaudienceClairvoyance.html#_clairaudience-clairvoyance), [SEARING LIGHT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/searingLight.html#searing-light), [PRAYER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/coreRulebook/spells/prayer.html#prayer)

LEVEL 4 [5/Day] Save DC 18  
[CURE CRITICAL WOUNDS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/cureCriticalWounds.html#cure-critical-wounds), [DIVINATION](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/divination.html#divination), [PLANAR ALLY, LESSER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/coreRulebook/spells/planarAlly.html#planar-ally-lesser)

* * *

DAVE STRIDER [ROGUE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/rogue.html#_rogue) ([SWASHBUCKLER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/rogue.html#_swashbuckler)) 9  
TRUE NEUTRAL

TL:DR – Dave has become quicker to feint, and his godmark lets him speed up to unnatural levels.

[ ](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/z4phu07mjzo543t/Dave%20Strider.png?dl=0)

BASIC STATISTICS  
GENDER: Male  
HAIR/EYES: Blonde hair, red eyes  
HOMELAND: City of Porthaven (No Fixed Abode)/The Greenweald Forest Region (No Fixed Abode)  
DEITY: The Knight of Time  
LANGUAGES: Common, Celestial, High Elven  
RACE: Aasimar

ATTRIBUTES  
STRENGTH: 14[+2]  
DEXTERITY: 16[+3]  
CONSTITUTION: 13[+1]  
INTELLIGENCE: 13[+1]  
WISDOM: 12[+1]  
CHARISMA: 10[+0]

HIT POINTS: 60/60  
HERO POINTS: 3/3  
INITIATIVE: +2  
BASE SPEED/S: 30ft (land)

ARMOUR CLASS [AC]: 16  
TOUCH AC: 13  
FLAT-FOOTED AC: 13

BASE ATTACK BONUS [BAB]: +6/+1  
BASIC MELEE ATTACK: +8/+3  
BASIC RANGED ATTACK: +8/+3  
COMBAT MANEUVER BONUS [CMB]: +8/+3  
COMBAT MANEUVER DEFENCE [CMD]: 21

SAVES  
FORTITUDE: +4  
REFLEX: +9  
WILL: +4

+3 vs fear effects.

[WEAPONS/ATTACKS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_weapon-descriptions)  
CALIBURN (+2 INTELLIGENT UNKNOWN [BASTARD SWORD](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_bastard-sword)) - This large hand-and-a-half weapon can magically repair itself when broken. Any other qualities of this weapon are as yet unknown.  
[LONGSWORD](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_longsword) \- [Fragile Quality](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/combat/primitiveArmorAndWeapons.html#fragile), can use two-handed for additional damage but cannot use buckler.  
[SHORTSWORD](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_shortsword)  
[DAGGER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_dagger) \- Can be thrown, range 10ft.

EQUIPMENT - [CARRYING CAPACITY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/additionalRules.html#_carrying-capacity) (STR 15)

EQUIPMENT - ITEM SLOTS  
CLOTHING: PICKPOCKET'S OUTFIT + MASK  
Outfitted with concealed pockets, this clothing gives the character a +2 bonus on hiding small objects on his person. It consists of a pull-on shirt with long sleeves, a loose jacket, drawstring pants, boots and a sturdy belt. The mask is an ornately decorated strip of dark fabric with eye-holes, that both mimics and mocks a stereotypical "bandit" mask.

ARMOUR: LEATHER ARMOUR  
+2 armour bonus, +6 max DEX bonus, -0 Armour Check Penalty, 10% Arcane Spell Failure Chance, LIGHT

SHIELD: BUCKLER  
+1 shield bonus, -1 Armour Check Penalty, 5% Arcane Spell Failure Chance  
SPECIAL: The character can use his shield arm to wield a weapon, but takes a -1 penalty on attack rolls while doing so, and loses the +1 shield bonus to AC until his next turn. It is not possible to shield bash with a buckler.

EQUIPMENT - POSSESSIONS  
Caliburn 6lbs, Longsword (Fragile) 4lbs, Shortsword 2lbs, Leather Armour 15lbs, Clothing (Mask, 3gp) 1lb, Buckler 5lbs, Dagger 1lb

>BACKPACK, MASTERWORK 4lbs (Capacity 60lbs, +1 STR to carry loads)  
Tent (Small, 1 person) 20lbs, Bedroll 5lbs, Kit (Cooking) 2lbs

>POUCH, BELT 0.5lbs (Capacity 10lbs)  
Flint and Steel, Whetstone 1lb

>POUCH, PATHFINDER 1lbs (Capacity 10lbs)[Extra-Dimensional Space, Command Word Activated, Does Not Detect As Magical]  
Tools (Thieves') 1lb, Waterskin 4lbs

TOTAL 50.5lbs (19.5lbs without backpack)

EQUIPMENT - MONEY  
8CP, 0SP, 3GP, 0PP  
OTHER:

SKILLS  
TRAINED  
+ACROBATICS +16(9)*, +APPRAISE +12(8), +BLUFF +15(9), +DISABLE DEVICE* +10(6), +ESCAPE ARTIST +12(7)*, +INTIMIDATE +6(3), +KNOWLEDGE LOCAL +8(4), +PERCEPTION +12(6), +PERFORM(ILL BEATS AND SICK FIRES) +12(9), +SLEIGHT OF HAND +10(5)*, +STEALTH +12(7)*, +USE MAGIC DEVICE +12(9)

UNTRAINED  
+CLIMB +2*, +CRAFT +1, +DIPLOMACY +2, +DISGUISE +0, HEAL +1, PERFORM +0, RIDE +2*, +SENSE MOTIVE +1, SURVIVAL +1, +SWIM +2*  
(FLY +2*)

*Armour Check Penalty: Skill at –1 due to armour worn.  
+Class Skill

FEATS  
[ SKILL FOCUS (BLUFF)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_skill-focus)  
The character is particularly adept at the chosen skill.

[DISPOSABLE WEAPON [REQUIRES: BAB+1, WEAPON PROFICIENCY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/ultimateCombatFeats.html#_disposable-weapon)  
The character ignores the limitations of his equipment, striking harder despite the damage it does to his weapon.

[QUICK DRAW [REQUIRES: BAB+1]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_quick-draw)  
The character can draw weapons faster than most.

[COMBAT EXPERTISE [REQUIRES: INT 13]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#combat-expertise)  
The character can choose to take a penalty on melee attack rolls and combat maneuver checks to gain a dodge bonus to his Armor Class.

[IMPROVED FEINT [REQUIRES: COMBAT EXPERTISE]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#improved-feint)  
The character is skilled at fooling his opponents in combat.

[RACIAL ABILITIES: AASIMAR](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advancedRaceGuide/featuredRaces/aasimars.html#_aasimar-racial-traits)  
AASIMARS DO NOT COUNT AS OUTSIDERS FOR THE PURPOSE OF THIS SETTING.  
[DAYLIGHT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/daylight.html#_daylight) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Aasimars can touch an object and cause it to shed a brilliant light which drives back even magical darkness.  
LANGUAGES – Aasimars begin play speaking Common and Celestial. Aasimars with high Intelligence scores can choose any of the following bonus languages: Draconic, Dwarven, High Elven, Gnome, Halfling, and Sylvan.

SPECIAL ABILITIES  
GODMARKED  
WEAPON PROFICIENCY (BASTARD SWORD)  
[INSPIRING COMMAND](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/cleric.html#_inspiring-command) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] – The character can issue an inspiring command to his allies, improving their accuracy, defence, and focus for a short time.  
[DEATHWATCH](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/deathwatch.html#_deathwatch) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (4 USES/DAY) - The character can determine the condition of creatures near death within the spell's range.  
[ONE TRACK MIND](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/3rd-party-spells/purple-duck-games/one-track-mind) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (3 USES/DAY) - The target repeats their last action over and over again.  
[DELAYED REACTION](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/3rd-party-spells/4-winds-fantasy-gaming---3rd-party-spells/delayed-reaction) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (2 USES/DAY) – The target is unable to react to things going on around them, delaying their action until after the character's next turn.  
[SACRIFICIAL BOND](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/cleric.html#sacrificial-bond) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – When an ally within 30ft takes damage from an attack, the character can as an immediate action transfer this damage to himself.  
[HASTE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/coreRulebook/spells/haste.html#haste) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) - The transmuted creatures move and act more quickly than normal.

CLASS FEATURES  
WEAPON AND ARMOUR PROFICIENCY: ROGUE  
Rogues are proficient with all simple weapons, plus the hand crossbow, rapier, sap, shortbow, and short sword. They are proficient with light armour, but not with shields.

[MARTIAL TRAINING [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY] (Longsword)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/rogue.html#_martial-training)  
At first level, the swashbuckler may select one martial weapon to add to his list of weapon proficiencies. In addition, he may take the combat trick rogue talent up to two times. 

[SNEAK ATTACK [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY] (+5d6 Precision Damage)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/rogue.html#_sneak-attack)  
A rogue can strike a vital spot for more damage whenever their foe is in a vulnerable position.

[EVASION](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/rogue.html#_evasion-rogue) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
At 2nd level and higher, the rogue can avoid even magical and unusual attacks with great agility.

[DARING [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY] (+3)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/rogue.html#_daring)  
At 3rd level, the swashbuckler becomes more nimble and resistant to fear.

[UNCANNY DODGE [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/rogue.html#_uncanny-dodge-rogue)  
At 4th level, the rogue can react to danger before his senses would normally allow him to do so.

[IMPROVED UNCANNY DODGE [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/rogue.html#improved-uncanny-dodge-rogue)  
A rogue of 8th level or higher can no longer be flanked. This defense denies another rogue the ability to sneak attack the character by flanking him, unless the attacker has at least four more rogue levels than the target does.

ROGUE TALENTS  
[BLEEDING ATTACK](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/rogue.html#_rogue-talents-bleeding-attack) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
A rogue with this ability can cause living opponents to bleed by hitting them with a sneak attack.  
[POWERFUL SNEAK](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/rogue.html#_powerful-sneak**) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
A rogue with this ability can take a penalty to attack to treat all 1s on sneak attack damage dice as 2s.  
[POSITIONING ATTACK](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/rogue.html#_positioning-attack) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
Once per day, when a rogue with this talent hits a creature with a melee attack, he can move around the creature hit without provoking attacks of opportunity.  
[OFFENSIVE DEFENSE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/rogue.html#offensive-defense**) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
When a rogue with this talent hits a creature with a melee attack that deals sneak attack damage, he gains a +1 dodge bonus to AC for each sneak attack die rolled for 1 round.

* * *

JADE HARLEY [DRUID](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/druid.html#_druid) ([WOLF SHAMAN](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/druid.html#_wolf-shaman)) 9  
NEUTRAL GOOD

TL:DR – Jade can now teleport about a small area with Dimension Door, thanks to her godmark and a feat-based affinity for that sort of popping around.

[ ](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/n8m84d8ync11huv/Jade%20Harley.png?dl=0)

BASIC STATISTICS  
GENDER: Female  
HAIR/EYES: Black hair, green eyes  
HOMELAND: The Greenweald Forest Region (The Whispering Grove)  
DEITY: The Witch of Space  
LANGUAGES: Common, High Elven, Sylvan, Druidic  
RACE: Tuatha (High Elf)

ATTRIBUTES  
STRENGTH: 8[-1]  
DEXTERITY: 16[+3]  
CONSTITUTION: 12[+1]  
INTELLIGENCE: 12[+1]  
WISDOM: 16[+3]  
CHARISMA: 12[+1]

HIT POINTS: 59/59  
HERO POINTS: 2/3  
INITIATIVE: +4  
BASE SPEED/S: 30ft (land)

ARMOUR CLASS [AC]: 19  
TOUCH AC: 13  
FLAT-FOOTED AC: 16

BASE ATTACK BONUS [BAB]: +6/+1  
BASIC MELEE ATTACK: +5/+0  
BASIC RANGED ATTACK: +9/+4  
COMBAT MANEUVER BONUS [CMB]: +5  
COMBAT MANEUVER DEFENCE [CMD]: 18

SAVES  
FORTITUDE: +7  
REFLEX: +6  
WILL: +8  
+4 to all Saving Throws against the spell-like and supernatural abilities of Fey.

[WEAPONS/ATTACKS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_weapon-descriptions)  
[MASTERWORK MUSKET](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/combat/firearms.html#_musket) AND [FAR-REACHING SIGHT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/combat/firearms.html#_far-reaching-sight) \- Ammunition 29 bullets, 29 black powder charges (both required to fire).  
[SLING](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_sling) – Less damage from improvised ammunition.  
[DAGGER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_dagger) \- Can be thrown, range 10ft.

EQUIPMENT - [CARRYING CAPACITY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/additionalRules.html#_carrying-capacity) (STR 16)

EQUIPMENT - ITEM SLOTS  
CLOTHING: TRAVELLER'S OUTFIT  
This set of clothes consists of boots, a wool skirt, a sturdy belt, a shirt with a vest, and an ample cloak with a hood.

ARMOUR: +3 [WOODEN ARMOUR](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/advancedGear.html#_wooden-armor)  
+6 armour bonus, +3 max DEX bonus, -0 Armour Check Penalty, 15% Arcane Spell Failure Chance, LIGHT  
SPECIAL: This suit of leather armour has plates of fire-treated wood sewn over vital areas. Though not as effective as metal armour, it offers better protection than leather alone. Unlike metal armour, the wood is slightly buoyant, and the armour check penalty for swimming in this armour is 0.

SHOULDERS: [MULEBACK CORDS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/magicItems/wondrousItems.html#_muleback-cords)  
These thick leather cords wrap around the wearer's biceps and shoulders; when worn, they make the muscles appear larger than normal and allow her to carry far more than usual.

EQUIPMENT - POSSESSIONS  
Masterwork Musket 9lb, Far-Reaching Sight 1lb, Sling, +3 Wooden Armour 25lbs, Muleback Cords 0.25lbs, Dagger 1lb, Waterskin 4lbs

>[BAG OF HOLDING, TYPE 1](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/magicItems/wondrousItems.html#_bag-of-holding) 15lbs (Capacity 250lbs)  
Tent (Small, 1 person) 20lbs, Bedroll 5lbs, Sling Bullets [x20] 10lbs

>POUCH, BELT 0.5lbs (Capacity 10lbs)  
Flint and Steel, Holly and Mistletoe, Fishhook, Whistle (Silent)

>POUCH, BELT 0.5lbs (Capacity 10lbs)  
Firearm Bullets [x30] 0.5lbs, Potion of Cure Moderate Wounds [x5]

>POWDER HORN 1lb (Capacity 10 x Black Powder)  
Black Powder [x9] [crafted at 10% cost]

>POWDER HORN 1lb (Capacity 10 x Black Powder)  
Black Powder [x10] [crafted at 10% cost]

>POWDER HORN 1lb (Capacity 10 x Black Powder)  
Black Powder [x10] [crafted at 10% cost]

TOTAL 34.75lbs (19.75lbs without portable hole)

EQUIPMENT - MONEY  
0CP, 7SP, 545GP, 0PP  
OTHER:

SKILLS  
TRAINED  
+HEAL +8(1), +HANDLE ANIMAL +11(7), KNOWLEDGE (DUNGEONEERING) +6(5), +KNOWLEDGE(GEOGRAPHY) +10(6), +KNOWLEDGE(NATURE) +15(9), +PERCEPTION +13(6), +SPELLCRAFT +13(9), +SURVIVAL +17(6)

UNTRAINED  
ACROBATICS +3*, APPRAISE +1, BLUFF +1, +CLIMB -1*, +CRAFT +1, DIPLOMACY +1, DISGUISE +1, ESCAPE ARTIST +3*, INTIMIDATE +1, PERFORM +1, +RIDE +3*, SENSE MOTIVE +2, STEALTH +3*, SWIM -1*  
(+FLY +3*)

*Armour Check Penalty: Skill at –0 due to armour worn.  
+Class Skill

FEATS  
[SELF-SUFFICIENT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_self-sufficient)  
The character knows how to get along in the wild and how to effectively treat wounds.

[DEADLY AIM [REQUIRES: DEX 13, BAB +1]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_deadly-aim)  
The character can make exceptionally deadly ranged attacks by pinpointing a foe's weak spot, at the expense of making the attack less likely to succeed.

[ASPECT OF THE BEAST [REQUIRES: WILD SHAPE CLASS FEATURE]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/advancedFeats.html#_aspect-of-the-beast)  
The character has a keen sense of when trouble is brewing, and an animalistic instinct for survival.

[NATURAL SPELL [REQUIRES: WIS 13, WILD SHAPE CLASS FEATURE]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#natural-spell)  
The character can cast spells even while in a form that cannot normally cast spells.

[DIMENSIONAL AGILITY [REQUIRES: ABILITY TO CAST DIMENSION DOOR]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/ultimateCombatFeats.html#dimensional-agility)  
After casting dimension door, the character can take any actions she still has remaining on her turn. She also gains a +4 bonus on Concentration checks when casting teleportation spells.

[RACIAL ABILITIES: ELVEN](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advancedRaceGuide/coreRaces/elves.html#_elf-racial-traits)  
LANGUAGES - Tuatha begin play speaking Common and High Elven. Tuatha with high Intelligence scores can choose from the following: Celestial, Draconic, Gnoll, Gnome, Goblin, Orc, and Sylvan.

SPECIAL ABILITIES  
GODMARKED  
WEAPON PROFICIENCY (MUSKET)  
[DIVINE VESSEL](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/cleric.html#_divine-vessel) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (4 USES/DAY) – The character can, whenever divine magic is cast on her, grant her nearby allies a boon on one of their next actions.  
[LONGSTRIDER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/longstrider.html#_longstrider) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (4 USES/DAY) - This power gives the character a +10 foot enhancement bonus to her base speed.  
[LOCATE OBJECT ](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/locateObject.html#_locate-object) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (3 USES/DAY) - The character senses the direction towards an object (specific or type).  
[FLY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/fly.html#fog-cloud) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (2 USES/DAY) – The character can fly.

DISPELLING TOUCH [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – The character can use a targeted dispel magic effect as a melee touch attack. She can use this ability once per day at 8th level and one additional time per day for every four character levels beyond 8th.  
[DIMENSION DOOR](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/dimensionDoor.html#dimension-door) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) - The character instantly transfers herself from her current location to any other spot within range.

CLASS FEATURES  
WEAPON AND ARMOUR PROFICIENCY: DRUID  
Druids are proficient with the following weapons: club, dagger, dart, quarterstaff, scimitar, scythe, sickle, shortspear, sling, and spear. They are also proficient with all natural attacks (claw, bite, and so forth) of any form they assume with wild shape.  
Druids are proficient with light and medium armour but are prohibited from wearing metal armour. Druids are proficient with shields (except tower shields) but must use only wooden ones. A druid who wears prohibited armour or uses a prohibited shield is unable to cast druid spells or use any supernatural or spell-like class abilities while doing so, and for 24 hours thereafter.

[SPONTANEOUS CASTING](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/druid.html#_spontaneous-casting-druid)  
A druid can channel stored spell energy to summon a creature to aid her.

[NATURE BOND [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/druid.html#wolf-shaman): ANIMAL COMPANION (BEC, [WOLF](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/monsters/wolf.html#_wolf))  
HIT POINTS: 79/79  
SIZE: Large SPEED: 50ft  
STR 24[+7], DEX 15[+2], CON 20[+5], INT 2[-4], WIS 12[+1], CHA 6[-2]  
ATTACK:  
BAB: +6 ATTACK: BITE +13/+8 (1d8+9), trip  
CMB: +12  
DEFENCE:  
AC: 22 (Natural Armour +7)  
CMD: 24  
SAVES: FORT 11, REF 8, WILL 3  
SKILLS:  
Survival 3, Perception 5, Intimidate 3  
FEATS:  
[Improved Natural Armour](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/additionalMonsters/monsterFeats.html#improved-natural-armor), [Dodge](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_dodge), [Mobility](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_mobility), [Spring Attack](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#spring-attack)  
TRICKS:  
Down – The animal breaks off from combat or otherwise backs down.  
Guard – The animal stays in place and prevents others from approaching.  
Attack – (Normal + Unnatural, counts as 2 tricks) The animal attacks apparent enemies.  
SPECIAL ABILITIES:  
[Low-Light Vision](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/glossary.html#_low-light-vision), [Scent](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/glossary.html#_scent), [Link](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/druid.html#_companions-link), [Share Spells](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/druid.html#_companions-share-spells), [Evasion](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/druid.html#_companions-evasion), [Devotion](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/druid.html#_companions-devotion), Multiattack

NATURE SENSE [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
A druid is more knowledgeable about nature and better able to survive in the wilderness.

WILD EMPATHY [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
A druid can communicate wordlessly with an animal, in the hope of making it more friendly towards the druid and her allies. A wolf shaman is particularly good at communicating with canines.

[WOODLAND STRIDE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/druid.html#_woodland-stride-druid) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
Starting at 2nd level, the druid may move through any sort of undergrowth (such as natural thorns, briars, overgrown areas, and similar terrain) at her normal speed.

[TOTEM TRANSFORMATION](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/druid.html#_wolf-shaman) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (5 MINUTES/DAY, STANDARD ACTION)  
At 2nd level, the wolf shaman may adopt an aspect of the wolf while retaining her normal form. She gains one of the following bonuses:  
>MOVEMENT (+20 enhancement bonus to land speed)  
>SENSES (low-light vision, +4 racial bonus to Survival when tracking by scent)  
>NATURAL WEAPONS (bite [1d4 plus trip], +2 CMB to trip)  
While using totem transformation, the wolf shaman may speak normally and can cast speak with animals (canines only) at will.

[TRACKLESS STEP [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/druid.html#_trackless-step)  
At 3rd level, the druid no longer leaves a trail in natural surroundings and cannot be tracked unless she chooses to be.

[RESIST NATURE'S LURE [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/druid.html#_resist-nature-s-lure)  
Starting at 4th level, a druid becomes more resistant to the magical abilities of fey.

[WILD SHAPE [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/druid.html#_wild-shape)  
At 4th level, a druid gains the ability to turn herself into any small or Medium animal and back again once per day, like the [beast shape I spell](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/beastShape.html#_beast-shape-i). At 6th level, a wolf shaman’s wild shape ability functions at her druid level -2. If she takes on the form of a canine, she instead uses her druid level + 2. At 8th level, a druid can use wild shape to change into a Huge or Diminutive animal, a Medium elemental, or a Small or Medium plant creature. When taking the form of animals, a druid's wild shape now functions as [beast shape III](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/beastShape.html#_beast-shape-iii). The effect lasts for 1 hour per druid level, or until she changes back.

[TOTEMIC SUMMONS [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/druid.html#_totemic-summons)  
At 5th level, the wolf shaman may cast summon nature’s ally more swiftly when summoning canines, and these summoned canines are tougher proportional to her druid level.

VENOM IMMUNITY [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
At 9th level, the druid gains immunity to all poisons.

SPELLS  
[DRUID LEVEL 0](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/spell-lists-and-domains/spell-lists---druid#p0) [4 Prepared, At Will] Save DC 13  
+KNOW DIRECTION – You discern north.  
+MENDING – Makes minor repairs on an object.  
+SPARK – Ignites flammable objects. +STABILIZE – Cause a dying creature to stabilize.

[DRUID LEVEL 1](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/spell-lists-and-domains/spell-lists---druid#p1) [5/Day Prepared] Save DC 14  
+++CURE LIGHT WOUNDS – Cures 1d8 damage +1/level (max +5).  
++ENTANGLE - Plants entangle everyone in 40-ft. radius.

[DRUID LEVEL 2](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/spell-lists-and-domains/spell-lists---druid#p2) [4/Day Prepared] Save DC 15  
++FOREST FRIEND - Plants in a forested area become helpful instead of hindering you and your allies.  
++WILDERNESS SOLDIERS – Nearby plants aid you in combat.

[DRUID LEVEL 3](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/spell-lists-and-domains/spell-lists---druid#TOC-3rd-Level-Druid-Spells) [4/Day Prepared] Save DC 16  
++CURE MODERATE WOUNDS - Cures 2d8 damage +1/level (max +10).  
+RAIN OF FROGS – Summon a swarm of poisonous frogs.  
+[PUP SHAPE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/spells/pupShape.html#pup-shape) \- Transforms a single animal or magical beast into a younger and cuter version of itself for a short period of time.

[DRUID LEVEL 4](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/spell-lists-and-domains/spell-lists---druid#p4) [2/Day Prepared] Save DC 17  
CURE SERIOUS WOUNDS - Cures 3d8 damage + 1/level (max +15).  
+[TREE STRIDE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/treeStride.html#tree-stride) \- Step into a tree and walk out of another nearby.  
+[ASPECT OF THE WOLF](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/spells/aspectOfTheWolf.html#aspect-of-the-wolf) \- Take on characteristics of the wolf.

[DRUID LEVEL 5](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/spell-lists-and-domains/spell-lists---druid#p5) [1/Day Prepared] Save DC 18  
CURE CRITICAL WOUNDS: Cures 4d8 damage + 1/level (max +20).  
+ANIMAL GROWTH: One animal doubles in size.  
CALL LIGHTNING STORM: As call lightning, but 5d6 damage per bolt.  
TREE STRIDE: Step from one tree to another far away.  


* * *

KARKAT VANTAS [FIGHTER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/fighter.html#_fighter) ([MOBILE FIGHTER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/fighter.html#_mobile-fighter)) 9  
TRUE NEUTRAL

TL:DR – Karkat's godmark lets him share teamwork feats with other people, which would be great if he had any. He's better at stabbing people up though.

[ ](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/uyfpjnavu74a446/Karkat%20Vantas.png?dl=0)

BASIC STATISTICS  
GENDER: Male  
HAIR/EYES: White hair, red eyes  
HOMELAND: City of Golgesi (The Shanties)  
DEITY: The Knight of Blood  
LANGUAGES: Undercommon, High Elven, Drow Sign Language  
RACE: Drow (Dark Elf)

ATTRIBUTES  
STRENGTH: 15[+2]  
DEXTERITY: 17[+3]  
CONSTITUTION: 11[+0]  
INTELLIGENCE: 13[+1]  
WISDOM: 8[-1]  
CHARISMA: 12[+1]

HIT POINTS: 58/58  
HERO POINTS: 2/5  
INITIATIVE: +3  
BASE SPEED/S: 30ft (land)

ARMOUR CLASS [AC]: 19  
TOUCH AC: 14  
FLAT-FOOTED AC: 15

BASE ATTACK BONUS [BAB]: +9/+4  
BASIC MELEE ATTACK: +11/+6  
BASIC RANGED ATTACK: +12/+7  
COMBAT MANEUVER BONUS [CMB]: +11/+6(+13/+8 for Tripping)  
COMBAT MANEUVER DEFENCE [CMD]: 24(26 for Tripping)

SAVES  
FORTITUDE: +6  
REFLEX: +6  
WILL: +2  
+2 vs effects that cause paralysis, slowing, or entanglement

[WEAPONS/ATTACKS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_weapon-descriptions)  
**_+2 ATTACK AND DAMAGE WHEN AT LEAST 5 FEET MOVED PRIOR TO ATTACKING._**  
[DUAL +1 SICKLES](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_sickle) – Two attacks a round at a reduced attack bonus, or one attack a round at normal attack bonus. This is a [trip](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/equipment.html#_trip) weapon.  
[DAGGER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_dagger) \- Can be thrown, range 10ft.

EQUIPMENT - [CARRYING CAPACITY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/additionalRules.html#_carrying-capacity) (STR 15)

EQUIPMENT - ITEM SLOTS  
CLOTHING: TRAVELLER'S OUTFIT  
This set of clothes consists of boots, a wool skirt or breeches, a sturdy belt, a shirt (perhaps with a vest or jacket), and an ample coat with a hood.

ARMOUR: +1 MITHRAL CHAIN SHIRT  
+5 armour bonus, +8 max DEX bonus, -0 Armour Check Penalty, 10% Arcane Spell Failure Chance, LIGHT  
SPECIAL: An item made from mithral weighs half as much as the same item made from other metals.

EQUIPMENT - POSSESSIONS  
Sickle [x2] 4lbs, +1 Mithral Chain Shirt 12.5lbs, Dagger 1lb, Waterskin 4lbs

>BACKPACK, MASTERWORK 4lbs (Capacity 60lbs, +1 STR to carry loads)  
Bedroll 5lbs, Blanket (Common) 1lb, Rations (Trail) [x16] 16lb, Compass 0.5lbs, Karkat's Tattered Journal 3lbs, Spider's Silk Rope 50ft 4lbs

>POUCH, BELT 0.5lbs (Capacity 10lbs)  
Flint and Steel, Charcoal Stick [x1], Whetstone 1lb, Potion of Remove Curse [x1], Potion of Cure Light Wounds [x1], Potion of Cure Moderate Wounds [x5], Impact Foam [x1] 1lb

TOTAL 44lbs (9.5lbs without backpack)

EQUIPMENT - MONEY  
0CP, 0SP, 500GP, 0PP  
OTHER:

SKILLS  
TRAINED  
ACROBATICS +7(4)*, +CLIMB +7(2)*, DIPLOMACY +6(5), +INTIMIDATE +8(4), KNOWLEDGE(LOCAL) +3(3), PERCEPTION +6(5), SENSE MOTIVE +8(9)

UNTRAINED  
APPRAISE +0, BLUFF +1, +CRAFT +0, DISGUISE +1, ESCAPE ARTIST +3*, HEAL -1, PERFORM +1, +RIDE +3*, STEALTH +3*, +SURVIVAL -1, +SWIM +2*  
(FLY +3*)

*Armour Check Penalty: Skill at –0 due to armour worn.  
+Class Skill

FEATS  
[COMBAT REFLEXES](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_combat-reflexes)  
The character can make additional attacks of opportunity.

[DODGE [REQUIRES: DEX 13]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_dodge)  
The character's training and reflexes allow him to react swiftly to avoid an opponents' attacks.

[IMPROVED TRIP [REQUIRES: INT 13, COMBAT EXPERTISE]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_improved-trip)  
The character is good at sending his opponents to the ground.

[MOBILITY [REQUIRES: DEX 13, DODGE]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#mobility)  
The character can easily move through a dangerous melee.

[IMPROVED TWO-WEAPON FIGHTING [REQUIRES: TWO-WEAPON FIGHTING, DEX 17, BAB +6]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/coreRulebook/feats.html#improved-two-weapon-fighting)  
The character is skilled at fighting with two weapons.

[RACIAL ABILITIES: DROW](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advancedRaceGuide/featuredRaces/drow.html#_drow-racial-traits)  
[DANCING LIGHTS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/dancingLights.html#_dancing-lights) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Drow can create up to four illusory lights and direct their motion.  
[DARKNESS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/darkness.html#_darkness) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Drow can touch an object and cause it to radiate a deep darkness that dims even magical light.  
[FAERIE FIRE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/faerieFire.html#_faerie-fire) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Drow can cause a person to glow with a pale fire that clings to them even if they are not otherwise visible.  
LANGUAGES - Drow begin play speaking Undercommon and High Elven. Drow with high Intelligence can choose bonus languages from the following: Common, Dark Folk, Draconic, Drow Sign Language, Dwarven, Gnome, Goblin or Infernal.

SPECIAL ABILITIES  
GODMARKED  
[HERO’S FORTUNE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/advancedNewRules.html#_hero's-fortune) \- Even at the start of his career, it was clear that the character had a chance at greatness, and his legend continues to grow with every adventure.  
[INSPIRING COMMAND](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/cleric.html#_inspiring-command) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] – The character can issue an inspiring command to his allies, improving their accuracy, defence, and focus for a short time.  
[ALARM](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/alarm.html#_alarm) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (4 USES/DAY) - Alarm creates a subtle ward on a selected area.  
[SHIELD OTHER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/shieldOther.html#_shield-other) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (3 USES/DAY) - The character takes half the damage dealt to their target.  
[GLYPH OF WARDING](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/glyphOfWarding.html#glyph-of-warding) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (2 USES/DAY) – An inscription to ward an area or object against intruders.  
[SACRIFICIAL BOND](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/cleric.html#sacrificial-bond) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – When an ally within 30ft takes damage from an attack, the character can as an immediate action transfer this damage to himself.  
[SYNERGISTIC TOUCH ](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/classes/core-classes/cleric/domains/paizo---domains/community-domain/cooperation-subdomain) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USES/DAY) – The character can touch a creature as a standard action to confer upon it the benefits of any one Teamwork feat that he possesses. This effect persists for a number of rounds equal to 1/2 his level (minimum 1).

CLASS FEATURES  
WEAPON AND ARMOUR PROFICIENCY: FIGHTER  
A fighter is proficient with all simple and martial weapons and with all armour (heavy, light, and medium) and shields (including tower shields).

FEAT: [TWO-WEAPON FIGHTING [REQUIRES: DEX 15]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_two-weapon-fighting)  
The fighter can fight with a weapon wielded in each of his hands. He can make one extra attack each round with the secondary weapon.

FEAT: [WEAPON FOCUS (SICKLE) [REQUIRES: WEAPON PROFICIENCY, BAB +1]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_weapon-focus)  
The fighter gains a bonus on all attack rolls he makes using the selected weapon.

FEAT: [COMBAT EXPERTISE [REQUIRES: INT 13]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_combat-expertise)  
The fighter can increase his defence at the expense of his accuracy.

[AGILITY (+2)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/fighter.html#_agility) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
At 2nd level, the mobile fighter gains a bonus on saving throws made against effects that cause him to become paralysed, slowed, or entangled.

[ARMOUR TRAINING 2 [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/fighter.html#_armor-training)  
At 3rd level, the fighter learns to be more manoeuvrable in armour and is less encumbered by heavier armour.

[LEAPING ATTACK 2 [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY] (+2)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/fighter.html#_armor-training)  
At 5th level, the mobile fighter becomes more dangerous when they keep moving in combat. At 7th level, a fighter can move at his normal speed while wearing heavy armor.

FEAT: [DOUBLE SLICE [REQUIRES: DEX 15, TWO-WEAPON FIGHTING]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_double-slice)  
The fighter's off-hand weapon while dual-wielding strikes with greater power.

FEAT: [SPRING ATTACK [REQUIRES: MOBILITY, BAB +4]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#spring-attack)  
The fighter can deftly move up to a foe, strike, and withdraw before they can react.

* * *

GAMZEE MAKARA [BARBARIAN](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/barbarian.html#_barbarian) 9  
CHAOTIC NEUTRAL

TL:DR - Gamzee is now straight up terrifying when wielding random shit he found on the floor. Also his godmark lets him make people immune to some spells.

[ ](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/byz32hnlvct9z55/Gamzee%20Makara.png?dl=0)

BASIC STATISTICS  
GENDER: Male  
HAIR/EYES: White hair, purple eyes  
HOMELAND: City of Golgesi (House Kutsanmis Enclave)  
DEITY: The Bard of Rage  
LANGUAGES: Undercommon, High Elven  
RACE: Drow (Dark Elf)

ATTRIBUTES  
STRENGTH: 14[+2] (18[+4])  
DEXTERITY: 15[+2]  
CONSTITUTION: 15[+2] (18[+4])  
INTELLIGENCE: 8[-1]  
WISDOM: 12[+1]  
CHARISMA: 12[+1]

HIT POINTS: 86(104)/86(104)  
HERO POINTS: 3/3  
INITIATIVE: +2  
BASE SPEED/S: 40ft (land)

ARMOUR CLASS [AC]: 18(16) [+1 VS TRAPS]  
TOUCH AC: 12(10)  
FLAT-FOOTED AC: 16(14)  
DAMAGE REDUCTION: 1/- (2/-)  
WHILE RAGING: +1 deflection bonus to AC against the attacks of lawful creatures; +1/- damage reduction.

BASE ATTACK BONUS [BAB]: +9/+4  
BASIC MELEE ATTACK: +11/+6 (+13/+8)  
BASIC RANGED ATTACK: +11/+6  
COMBAT MANEUVER BONUS [CMB]: +11/+6 (+13/+8)  
COMBAT MANEUVER DEFENCE [CMD]: 23(25)

SAVES  
FORTITUDE: +8(10)  
REFLEX: +5 [+1 VS TRAPS]  
WILL: +6(8)  
+2 bonus on Reflex saves made to avoid traps and a +2 dodge bonus to Armor Class against attacks made by traps.  
WHILE RAGING: +1 resistance bonus on saving throws against confusion, insanity, polymorph, and effects with the lawful descriptor.

[WEAPONS/ATTACKS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_weapon-descriptions)  
[WARHAMMER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_warhammer)  
[IMPROVISED WEAPONS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/equipment.html#_improvised-weapons) – Attack as per basic ranged or melee attack, and damage as per closest match on the weapon list. There is a +1 circumstance bonus to attack rolls for improvised splash weapons.

EQUIPMENT - [CARRYING CAPACITY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/additionalRules.html#_carrying-capacity) (STR 14/18)

EQUIPMENT - ITEM SLOTS  
CLOTHING: TRAVELLER'S OUTFIT  
This set of clothes consists of boots, wool breeches, a sturdy belt, a shirt (perhaps with a vest or jacket), and an ample coat with a hood.

ARMOUR: +3 STUDDED LEATHER ARMOUR  
+6 armour bonus, +5 max DEX bonus, -0 Armour Check Penalty, 15% Arcane Spell Failure Chance, LIGHT

EQUIPMENT - POSSESSIONS  
+3 Studded Leather Armour 20lbs, Warhammer 5lbs, Waterskin 4lbs

>[HANDY HAVERSACK](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/magicItems/wondrousItems.html#_handy-haversack) 5lbs (Extradimensional Space, Capacity 80lbs+20lbs+20lbs)  
Tent (Pavilion, 10 people) 50lbs, Rations (Trail) [x20] 20lb  
Bedroll 5lbs, Blanket (Common) 1lb  
Kit (Cooking) 2lbs, Kit (Mess) 1lb, Kit (Gear Maintenance) 2lbs, Kit (Grooming) 2lbs, Kit (Entertainer’s) 3lbs, Meditation Tea [x3]

>POUCH, BELT 0.5lbs (Capacity 10lbs)  
Potion of Cure Light Wounds [x4], Flint and Steel, [Waterproof War Paint Kit](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic-items/3rd-party-magic-items/3rd-party-wondrous-items/4-winds-fantasy-gaming/waterproof-war-paint-kit) 1lb [10 uses] 

TOTAL 15.5lbs (70lbs+6lbs+10lbs in EDS) 

EQUIPMENT - MONEY  
0CP, 8SP, 501GP, 0PP  
OTHER:  


SKILLS  
TRAINED  
+ACROBATICS +8(3)*, BLUFF +4(3), +CRAFT(COOKING) +3(1), +INTIMIDATE +13(9), PERFORM(CHILL RHYMES) +5(4), STEALTH +11(9)*

UNTRAINED  
APPRAISE -1, +CLIMB +2*, +CRAFT +0, DIPLOMACY +1, DISGUISE +1, ESCAPE ARTIST +2*, HEAL +1, +PERCEPTION +1, PERFORM +1, +RIDE +2*, SENSE MOTIVE +1, STEALTH +2*, +SURVIVAL +1, +SWIM +2*  
(FLY +2*)

*Armour Check Penalty: Skill at –0 due to armour worn  
+Class Skill

FEATS  
[THROW ANYTHING](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_throw-anything)  
The character is used to throwing things he has on hand.

[POWER ATTACK [REQUIRES: STR 13, BAB+1]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_power-attack)  
The character can make exceptionally deadly melee attacks by sacrificing accuracy for strength.

[CORNUGON SMASH [REQUIRES: POWER ATTACK, INTIMIDATE 6 RANKS]](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/feats/combat-feats/cornugon-smash-combat)  
Taken at level 5, unlocked at level 6. When the character damages an opponent with a Power Attack, he may make an immediate Intimidate check as a free action to attempt to demoralize his opponent.

[VITAL STRIKE [REQUIRES: BAB +6]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#vital-strike)  
The character makes a single attack that deals significantly more damage than normal.

[IMPROVISED WEAPON MASTERY [REQUIRES: CATCH OFF-GUARD OR THROW ANYTHING, BAB +8]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#improvised-weapon-mastery)  
The character can turn nearly any object into a deadly weapon, from a razor-sharp chair leg to a sack of flour.

[RACIAL ABILITIES: DROW](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advancedRaceGuide/featuredRaces/drow.html#_drow-racial-traits)  
[DANCING LIGHTS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/dancingLights.html#_dancing-lights) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Drow can create up to four illusory lights and direct their motion.  
[DARKNESS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/darkness.html#_darkness) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Drow can touch an object and cause it to radiate a deep darkness that dims even magical light.  
[FAERIE FIRE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/faerieFire.html#_faerie-fire) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Drow can cause a person to glow with a pale fire that clings to them even if they are not otherwise visible.  
LANGUAGES - Drow begin play speaking Undercommon and High Elven. Drow with high Intelligence can choose bonus languages from the following: Common, Dark Folk, Draconic, Drow Sign Language, Dwarven, Gnome, Goblin or Infernal.

SPECIAL ABILITIES  
GODMARKED  
CATCH OFF-GUARD: Foes are surprised by the character’s skilled use of unorthodox and improvised weapons.  
[DESTRUCTIVE SMITE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/cleric.html#_destruction-domain) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (4 USES/DAY)– The character can do more damage on a single melee attack, dependent on his character level.  
[ENLARGE PERSON](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/enlargePerson.html#_enlarge-person) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (4 USES/DAY) - This power causes instant growth of a humanoid creature, doubling its height and multiplying its weight by 8.  
[BULL'S STRENGTH](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/bullSStrength.html#_bull-s-strength) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (3 USES/DAY) - The character gains +4 Strength for 1 minute/level.  
[RAGE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/rage.html#rage) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (2 USES/DAY) – Causes target(s) to rage in a similar manner to a barbarian.  
[DESTRUCTIVE AURA](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/cleric.html#destruction-domain) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (8 ROUNDS/DAY) – The character can emit a 30-foot aura of destruction, boosting damage and ensuring more critical hits land.  
[SPELL IMMUNITY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/spellImmunity.html#spell-immunity) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) - The warded creature is immune to the effects of one specified spell for every four levels you have. The spells must be of 4th level or lower.

CLASS FEATURES  
WEAPON AND ARMOUR PROFICIENCY: BARBARIAN  
A barbarian is proficient with all simple and martial weapons, light armour, medium armour and shields (except tower shields).

FAST MOVEMENT [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
A barbarian can move faster than other members of his race, so long as he is not heavily burdened.

[RAGE](paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/barbarian.html#_rage) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY] (24 ROUNDS/DAY)  
A barbarian can call on inner reserves of strength and ferocity, granting him additional combat prowess for a while but exhausting him when spent.

RAGE POWERS  
[INTIMIDATING GLARE [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/barbarian.html#_rage-powers-intimidating-glare)  
While raging, the barbarian can make an Intimidate check against one adjacent foe and attempt to leave them shaken.  
[NO ESCAPE [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/barbarian.html#_rage-powers-no-escape)  
Once per rage, the barbarian can move up to double his normal speed as an immediate action but he can only use this ability when an adjacent foe uses a withdraw action to move away from him.  
[LESSER CHAOS TOTEM [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/barbarian.html#_chaos-totem,-lesser)  
While raging, the barbarian gains a +1 deflection bonus to AC against the attacks of lawful creatures and a +1 resistance bonus on saving throws against confusion, insanity, polymorph, and effects with the lawful descriptor.  
[INCREASED DAMAGE REDUCTION [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/barbarian.html#rage-powers-increased-damage-reduction)  
The barbarian's damage reduction increases by 1/—. This increase is always active while the barbarian is raging. A barbarian can select this rage power up to three times. Its effects stack. A barbarian must be at least 8th level before selecting this rage power.

[UNCANNY DODGE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/barbarian.html#_uncanny-dodge-barbarian) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
At 2nd level, the barbarian gains the ability to react to danger before his senses would normally allow him to do so.

[TRAP SENSE (+3) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/barbarian.html#_trap-sense-barbarian)  
At 3rd level, the barbarian becomes adept at avoiding traps.

[IMPROVED UNCANNY DODGE [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/barbarian.html#_improved-uncanny-dodge-barbarian)  
At 5th level, the barbarian can no longer be flanked or sneak attacked except by a truly skillful rogue.

[DAMAGE REDUCTION [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/barbarian.html#damage-reduction-barbarian)  
At 7th level, a barbarian gains damage reduction. Subtract 1 from the damage the barbarian takes each time he is dealt damage from a weapon or a natural attack. Damage reduction can reduce damage to 0 but not below 0.

* * *

TEREZI PYROPE [INQUISITOR](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/baseClasses/inquisitor.html) 9  
LAWFUL NEUTRAL

TL:DR - Terezi's godmark gives her the power to cause confusion amongst her foes. She's getting better at quick Judgements, and she with help from a friend she can make sharper attacks of opportunity.

[ ](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/tkkwrfiwb5efh6r/Terezi%20Pyrope.png?dl=0)

BASIC STATISTICS  
GENDER: Female  
HAIR/EYES: White hair, teal eyes  
HOMELAND: City of Golgesi (Temple Spire)  
DEITY: The Seer of Mind  
LANGUAGES: Undercommon, High Elven, Infernal  
RACE: Drow (Dark Elf)

ATTRIBUTES  
STRENGTH: 10[+0]  
DEXTERITY: 16[+3]  
CONSTITUTION: 12[+1]  
INTELLIGENCE: 12[+1]  
WISDOM: 16[+3]  
CHARISMA: 10[+0]

HIT POINTS: 60/60  
HERO POINTS: 3/5  
INITIATIVE: +6  
BASE SPEED/S: 30ft (land)

ARMOUR CLASS [AC]: 20  
TOUCH AC: 13  
FLAT-FOOTED AC: 17

BASE ATTACK BONUS [BAB]: +6/+1  
BASIC MELEE ATTACK: +6/+1  
BASIC RANGED ATTACK: +9/+4  
COMBAT MANEUVER BONUS [CMB]: +6  
COMBAT MANEUVER DEFENCE [CMD]: 19

SAVES  
FORTITUDE: +7  
REFLEX: +6  
WILL: +9

[WEAPONS/ATTACKS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_weapon-descriptions)  
**_+2 TO ATTACK AND +2D6 DAMAGE WHEN USING THE BANE ABILITY._**  
INCORRUPTIBLE (+1 [IMPERVIOUS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/magicArmsAndArmor/weaponSpecialAbilities.html#_impervious)[SILVERSHEEN](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/equipment---final/special-materials#TOC-Silversheen) [SWORD CANE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/advancedGear.html#_sword-cane)) - A more accurate but less damaging weapon, warded from damage and decay.  
[SWORD CANE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/advancedGear.html#_sword-cane) \- The blade is well-concealed in the cane.  
[CROSSBOW, LIGHT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_light-crossbow) – 20 ammunition  
[DAGGER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_dagger) \- Can be thrown, range 10ft.

EQUIPMENT - [CARRYING CAPACITY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/additionalRules.html#_carrying-capacity) (STR 10)

EQUIPMENT - ITEM SLOTS  
CLOTHING: EXPLORER'S OUTFIT  
This set of clothes is for someone who never knows what to expect. It includes sturdy boots, leather breeches, a belt, a shirt, gloves and a cloak. The clothes have plenty of pockets (especially the cloak). The outfit also includes any extra accessories the character might need, such as a scarf or a wide-brimmed hat.

ARMOUR: +2 [BLUE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/monsters/dragon.html#_chromatic-dragon-blue) [DRAGONHIDE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/materials.html#_dragonhide) SCALE ARMOUR (ARMOURED COAT OVER THE TOP HAS NO EFFECT)  
+7 armour bonus, +3 max DEX bonus, -3 Armour Check Penalty, 25% Arcane Spell Failure Chance, MEDIUM  
SPECIAL: Armorsmiths can work with the hides of dragons to produce armour or shields of masterwork quality.

EQUIPMENT - POSSESSIONS  
Incorruptible (+1 Impervious Silversheen Sword Cane) 4lbs, Crossbow (Light) 4lbs, Bolts (Crossbow) [x40] 4lb, +2 Blue Dragonhide Scale Armor 30lbs, Armoured Coat 20lbs, Eyeglasses, Holy Symbol (Copper) 0.5lb, Dagger 1lb, Waterskin 4lbs

>HANDY HAVERSACK 5lbs (Extradimensional Space, Capacity 80lbs+20lbs+20lbs)  
Bedroll 5lb, Blanket (Common) 1lb, Rope (Hemp) [50ft] 10lbs, Sword Cane 4lbs, Manacles 2lbs

>POUCH, BELT 0.5lbs (Capacity 10lbs)  
Flint and Steel, Whetstone 1lb, Bandages of Rapid Recovery 1lb, Potion of Cure Light Wounds [x1], Wound Paste [x3] 0.5lbs, Charcoal Stick [x1], Page of Karkat's Journal, Potion of Cure Moderate Wounds [x5]

TOTAL 33lbs (16lbs+0lbs+0lbs in EDS)

EQUIPMENT - MONEY  
8CP, 9SP, 503GP, 0PP  
OTHER:

SKILLS  
TRAINED  
+BLUFF +12(9), +DIPLOMACY +12(9), +INTIMIDATE +14(9), +KNOWLEDGE DUNGEONEERING +11(8), +KNOWLEDGE LOCAL +8(4), +KNOWLEDGE RELIGION +10(6), +PERCEPTION +15(9), +PROFESSION(GOLGESI LAWKEEPER) +8(2), +SENSE MOTIVE +17(9)

UNTRAINED  
ACROBATICS +2*, APPRAISE +1, +CLIMB +0*, +CRAFT +1, +DISGUISE +0, ESCAPE ARTIST +2*, +HEAL +3, PERFORM +0, +RIDE +2*, STEALTH +2*, SURVIVAL +3, SWIM +0*  
(FLY +2*)

*Armour Check Penalty: Skill at –3 due to armour worn.  
+Class Skill

FEATS  
[BLIND-FIGHT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_blind-fight%0A)  
The character is skilled at attacking opponents that she cannot clearly perceive.

[JUDGMENT SURGE [REQUIRES: JUDGMENT CLASS FEATURE]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/ultimateMagicFeats.html#_judgment-surge) (1 USE/DAY)  
Once per day, the power of the character's faith surges, further empowering her judgements.

[WEAPON FOCUS: (SWORD CANE) [REQUIRES: WEAPON PROFICIENCY, BAB +1]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_weapon-focus) (1 USE/DAY)  
The character gains a +1 bonus on all attack rolls she makes using the selected weapon.

[EXTENDED BANE [REQUIRES: BANE CLASS FEATURE]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/ultimateMagicFeats.html#extended-bane)  
The character's dedication knows no limit. Her wrath dies hard.

[INSTANT JUDGMENT [REQUIRES: SECOND JUDGMENT CLASS FEATURE]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/ultimateCombatFeats.html#instant-judgment)  
The character's hastiest condemnations can have power.

[RACIAL ABILITIES: DROW](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advancedRaceGuide/featuredRaces/drow.html#_drow-racial-traits)  
[DANCING LIGHTS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/dancingLights.html#_dancing-lights) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Drow can create up to four illusory lights and direct their motion.  
[DARKNESS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/darkness.html#_darkness) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Drow can touch an object and cause it to radiate a deep darkness that dims even magical light.  
[FAERIE FIRE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/faerieFire.html#_faerie-fire) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Drow can cause a person to glow with a pale fire that clings to them even if they are not otherwise visible.  
LANGUAGES - Drow begin play speaking Undercommon and High Elven. Drow with high Intelligence can choose bonus languages from the following: Common, Dark Folk, Draconic, Drow Sign Language, Dwarven, Gnome, Goblin or Infernal.

SPECIAL ABILITIES  
GODMARKED  
[HERO’S FORTUNE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/advancedNewRules.html#_hero's-fortune) \- Even at the start of her career, it was clear that the character had a chance at greatness, and her legend continues to grow with every adventure.  
[LORE KEEPER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/cleric.html#_knowledge-domain) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] – The character can touch a creature to learn about its abilities and weaknesses.  
EXTRA – The character treats all Knowledge skills as class skills.  
[DISGUISE SELF](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/disguiseSelf.html#_disguise-self) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (4 USES/DAY) - The character's appearance changes— potentially including clothing, armor, weapons, and equipment. She cannot change her creature type, but otherwise the extent of the apparent change is up to her.  
[MIRROR IMAGE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/mirrorImage.html#_mirror-image) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (3 USES/DAY) - The character can create decoy duplicates of herself.  
[DISPEL MAGIC](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/dispelMagic.html#dispel-magic) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (2 USES/DAY) – Dispels one ongoing spell, or temporarily suppresses a magic item, or counters another spell.  
[CONFUSION ](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/confusion.html#confusion) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) - This spell causes confusion in the targets, making them unable to determine their actions.

CLASS FEATURES  
WEAPON AND ARMOUR PROFICIENCY: INQUISITOR  
An inquisitor is proficient with all simple weapons, plus the hand crossbow, longbow, repeating crossbow, shortbow, and the favoured weapon of her deity (THE SEER OF MIND favours the SWORD CANE). She is also proficient with light armour, medium armour, and shields (except tower shields).

DOMAIN: [INQUISITION (Justice)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spellcastingClassOptions/inquisitor.html#_justice-inquisition)  
JUDICIOUS FORCE [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (3 USES/DAY)  
The inquisitor or an ally next to her has a better chance of doing a massively damaging strike to their foe.

[JUDGEMENT](paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/baseClasses/inquisitor.html#_judgment) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (3 USES/DAY)  
The inquisitor can gain one of several abilities for a combat, so long as she is able to participate in the action. She can also switch which ability she is using partway through.

MONSTER LORE [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
The inquisitor is skilled at identifying the abilities and weaknesses of creatures.

STERN GAZE [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
Inquisitors are skilled at sensing deception and intimidating their foes.

[DETECT ALIGNMENT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/baseClasses/inquisitor.html#_detect-alignment) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY]  
At will, the inquisitor can use _detect chaos, detect evil, detect good_ or _detect law._ She can only use one of these at any given time.

[TRACK](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/baseClasses/inquisitor.html#_track) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
At 2nd level, the inquisitor adds half her level on Survival skill checks made to follow or identify tracks.

[SOLO TACTICS [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/baseClasses/inquisitor.html#_solo-tactics)  
At 3rd level, the Inquisitor can make use of her teamwork feats as if her allies had the same feats as she did, although only she can reap the benefits.

[TEAMWORK FEAT: LOOKOUT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/advancedFeats.html#_lookout)  
The inquisitor's allies help her avoid being surprised.

[BANE [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/baseClasses/inquisitor.html#_bane) (10 ROUNDS/DAY)  
At 5th level, an inquisitor can imbue one of her weapons with the bane weapon special ability as a swift action, doing far more damage against [the chosen type of creature.](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/magicItems/weapons.html#_weapons-bane)

[DISCERN LIES [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] ](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/baseClasses/inquisitor.html#_discern-lies) (5 ROUNDS/DAY)  
At 5th level, an inquisitor can discern lies, [as per the spell](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/discernLies.html#_discern-lies), for a number of rounds per day equal to her inquisitor level.

[SECOND JUDGMENT [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/baseClasses/inquisitor.html#second-judgment)  
At 8th level, whenever an inquisitor uses her judgment ability, she selects two different judgments, instead of one.

[TEAMWORK FEAT: SWAP PLACES](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/advancedFeats.html#_swap-places)  
The inquisitor is skilled at changing places with her allies during a chaotic melee.

[TEAMWORK FEAT: PAIRED OPPORTUNISTS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/advancedFeats.html#paired-opportunists)  
The inquisitor knows how to make an enemy pay for lax defenses.

SPELLS  
LEVEL 0 [At Will] Save DC 13  
[BRAND](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/spells/brand.html#_brand), [DAZE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/daze.html#_daze), [DETECT MAGIC](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/detectMagic.html#_detect-magic), [DETECT POISON](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/detectPoison.html#_detect-poison), [SIFT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/spells/sift.html#_sift), [STABILIZE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/stabilize.html#_stabilize)

LEVEL 1 [6/Day] Save DC 14  
[COMPREHEND LANGUAGES](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/comprehendLanguages.html#_comprehend-languages), [CURE LIGHT WOUNDS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/cureLightWounds.html#_cure-light-wounds), [DIVINE FAVOUR](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/divineFavor.html#_divine-favor), [PERSUASIVE GOAD](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spells/persuasiveGoad.html#_persuasive-goad), [HEIGHTENED AWARENESS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advancedClassGuide/spells/heightenedAwareness.html#)

LEVEL 2 [5/Day] Save DC 15  
[BLOODHOUND](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/spells/bloodhound.html#_bloodhound), [CONFESS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/spells/confess.html#_confess), [SEE INVISIBILITY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/seeInvisibility.html#_see-invisibility), [ZONE OF TRUTH](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/zoneOfTruth.html#_zone-of-truth)

LEVEL 3 [4/Day] Save DC 16  
[BLOOD SCENT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advancedRaceGuide/featuredRaces/orcs.html#blood-scent), [RIGHTEOUS VIGOR](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/spells/righteousVigor.html#righteous-vigor), [RETRIBUTION](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/spells/retribution.html#retribution), [SEEK THOUGHTS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advancedPlayersGuide/spells/seekThoughts.html#seek-thoughts)

* * *

SOLLUX CAPTOR [SORCERER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/sorcerer.html#_sorcerer) \- [ARCANE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/sorcerer.html#_arcane) ([SAGE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spellcastingClassOptions/sorcerer.html#_sage))/[DESTINED](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/sorcerer.html#_destined) ([KARMIC](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spellcastingClassOptions/sorcerer.html#_karmic)) ([CROSSBLOODED](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spellcastingClassOptions/sorcerer.html#_crossblooded-\(archetype\)) [WORDCASTER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/ultimateMagicWordsOfPower.html)) 9  
CHAOTIC NEUTRAL

TL:DR - Sollux, like Rose, can now overcome the effects of spells that would stop him moving. His spells get past spell resistance more easily, and he gets occasional second chances on attack rolls.

[](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/kgu19nfbaxeezfh/Sollux%20Captor.png?dl=0)

BASIC STATISTICS  
GENDER: Male  
HAIR/EYES: White hair, one red and one blue eye  
HOMELAND: The Greenweald Forest Region (No Fixed Abode)  
DEITY: The Mage of Doom  
LANGUAGES: Common, High Elven, Orc, Infernal, Undercommon  
RACE: Halfbreed (Drow/Tiefling)

ATTRIBUTES  
STRENGTH: 12[+1]  
DEXTERITY: 14[+2]  
CONSTITUTION: 13[+1]  
INTELLIGENCE: 19[+4]  
WISDOM: 8[-1]  
CHARISMA: 10[+0]

HIT POINTS: 50/50  
HERO POINTS: 3/3  
INITIATIVE: +6  
BASE SPEED/S: 30ft (land)

ARMOUR CLASS [AC]: 15  
TOUCH AC: 12  
FLAT-FOOTED AC: 13

BASE ATTACK BONUS [BAB]: +4  
BASIC MELEE ATTACK: +5  
BASIC RANGED ATTACK: +6  
COMBAT MANEUVER BONUS [CMB]: +5  
COMBAT MANEUVER DEFENCE [CMD]: 17

SAVES  
FORTITUDE: +4  
REFLEX: +5  
WILL: +5

[WEAPONS/ATTACKS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_weapon-descriptions)  
[SHURIKEN](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_shuriken) \- 5 Ammunition

EQUIPMENT - [CARRYING CAPACITY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/additionalRules.html#_carrying-capacity) (STR 12)

EQUIPMENT - ITEM SLOTS  
CLOTHING: EXPLORER'S OUTFIT  
This set of clothes is for someone who never knows what to expect. It includes sturdy boots, leather breeches, a belt, a shirt with a jacket, gloves and a cloak. The clothes have plenty of pockets (especially the cloak). The outfit also includes any extra accessories the character might need, such as a scarf or a wide-brimmed hat.

NECK: HAUNTED BROKEN AMULET OF THE LABYRINTH (SIR WILLIAM COSBIE)  
Effect Unknown

WRISTS: [BRACERS OF ARMOUR +3](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/magicItems/wondrousItems.html#_bracers-of-armor)  
These items appear to be wrist or arm guards. They surround the wearer with an invisible but tangible field of force, granting him an armour bonus of +1, just as though he were wearing armour. Both bracers must be worn for the magic to be effective.

EQUIPMENT - POSSESSIONS  
Shuriken [x5] 0.5lb, Bracers of Armour +3 1lb, Eyeglasses, Haunted Broken Amulet of the Labyrinth

>[BAG OF HOLDING, TYPE 1](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/magicItems/wondrousItems.html#_bag-of-holding) 15lbs (Capacity 250lbs)  
Tent (Medium, 2 people) 30lbs, Bedroll [x2] 10lbs, Blanket (Common) [x2] 2lb, Mysterious Journal 3lbs, Potion of Cure Moderate Wounds [x5]

TOTAL 16.5lbs (45lbs in EDS)

EQUIPMENT - MONEY  
0CP, 8SP, 508GP, 0PP  
OTHER:

SKILLS  
TRAINED  
APPRAISE +13(9), +KNOWLEDGE ARCANA +18(9), +KNOWLEDGE DUNGEONEERING +16(9), +KNOWLEDGE HISTORY +15(8), +SPELLCRAFT +18(9), +USE MAGIC DEVICE +13(9)

UNTRAINED  
+ACROBATICS +2*, +BLUFF -1, CLIMB +1*, +CRAFT +3, DIPLOMACY +0, DISGUISE +0, ESCAPE ARTIST +2*, HEAL -1, +INTIMIDATE +0, PERCEPTION -1, PERFORM +0, RIDE +2*, SENSE MOTIVE +0, STEALTH +0*, SURVIVAL -1, SWIM +1*  
(+FLY +2*)

*Armour Check Penalty: Skill at –0 due to armour worn.  
+Class Skill

FEATS  
EXTRA WORD [CASTER LEVEL 1ST IN BARD, ORACLE OR SORCERER]   
The character has uncovered a new word of power.

[COMBAT CASTING](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_combat-casting)  
The character is adept at spellcasting when threatened or distracted.

[IMPROVED INITIATIVE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_improved-initiative)  
The character's quick reflexes allow him to react rapidly to danger.

[INTENSIFIED SPELL](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/advancedFeats.html#intensified-spell)  
The character's spells can go beyond normal damage limitations.

[PIERCING SPELL](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/ultimateMagicFeats.html#piercing-spell)  
The character's studies have helped him develop methods to overcome spell resistance.

[RACIAL ABILITIES: HALF-ELF](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advancedRaceGuide/coreRaces/halfElves.html#_half-elf-racial-traits) ([ALTERNATE RACIAL TRAITS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advancedRaceGuide/coreRaces/halfElves.html#_alternate-racial-traits))  
ATTRIBUTE SHIFT - +2 Intelligence.  
DROW-BLOODED – Replaces Low-Light Vision.  
ELVEN IMMUNITIES.  
MIXED BLOOD – The character counts as both Drow and Tiefling for any effect related to race. Replaces Elf Blood.  
WARY – Replaces Keen Senses.  
DUAL MINDED – Replaces Adaptability.  
ARCANE TRAINING – Replaces Multitalented.  
LANGUAGES – Halfbreeds begin play speaking Common and High Elven. Halfbreeds with high Intelligence scores can choose any language as a bonus language (except secret languages, such as Druidic).

SPECIAL ABILITIES  
GODMARKED  
WEAPON PROFICIENCY (SHURIKEN)  
[ARCANE BEACON](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/cleric.html#_arcane-beacon) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (3 USES/DAY) – The character can emanate an aura that makes spells cast near him more powerful and harder to resist.  
[BANE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/bane.html#_bane) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (4 USES/DAY) - Bane fills enemies with fear and doubt, and counters and dispels Bless.  
[AID](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/aid.html#_aid) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (3 USES/DAY) – Aid grants a bonus to attacks and saves, and makes the target temporarily harder to kill.  
[BESTOW CURSE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/bestowCurse.html#bestow-curse) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (2 USE/DAY) - You place a curse on the subject.  
[DISPELLING TOUCH](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/cleric.html#magic-domain) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (2 USES/DAY) – The character can use a targeted dispel magic effect as a melee touch attack.  
[FREEDOM OF MOVEMENT [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) - This power enables the character or a creature he touches to move and attack normally for the duration of the spell, even under the influence of magic that usually impedes movement.](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/freedomOfMovement.html#freedom-of-movement)

CLASS FEATURES  
WEAPON AND ARMOUR PROFICIENCY: SORCERER  
Sorcerers are proficient with all simple weapons. They are not proficient with any type of armour or shield. Armour interferes with a sorcerer's gestures, which can cause his spells with somatic components to fail.

FEAT: [ESCHEW MATERIALS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_eschew-materials)  
The character can cast many spells without needing to utilize minor material components.

BLOODLINE FEAT: [STILL SPELL](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#still-spell)  
The sorcerer can cast spells without moving, by raising the level of the spell.

BLOODLINE: [CROSSBLOODED](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spellcastingClassOptions/sorcerer.html#_crossblooded-%28archetype%29) [SAGE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spellcastingClassOptions/sorcerer.html#_sage)/[KARMIC](paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spellcastingClassOptions/sorcerer.html#_karmic)  
CLASS SKILL: Knowledge (Any One: Dungeoneering) and Knowledge History.  
BLOODLINE ARCANA: Unlike most sorcerers, the character understands and masters his magic through intellect rather than force of personality, and has a better understanding of arcane forces as a result. Additionally, if he fails to cast when under threat, the creature that disrupted his concentration is left vulnerable to attack.  
DRAWBACK: A crossblooded sorcerer has one fewer spell known at each level, and is weaker willed.  
BLOODLINE POWERS:  
1\. ARCANE BOLT [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (7 USES/DAY): The sorcerer can unleash a ray of magical force as an attack, increasing in power dependant on the sorcerer's class level.  
2.[ METAMAGIC ADEPT [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/sorcerer.html#_arcane) (2 USES/DAY): At 3rd level, the Sage Sorcerer can apply metamagic feats to his spells without any reduction in casting speed.  
3\. IT WAS MEANT TO BE [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY): At 9th level, the character may reroll any one attack roll, critical hit confirmation roll, or level check made to overcome spell resistance.

SPELLS: BLOODLINE SPELLS (CAN BE USED INSTEAD OF EQUIVALENT LEVEL WORDSPELL)  
LEVEL 1 – [IDENTIFY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/identify.html#_identify)(Gives a bonus to identifying the properties and command words of magic items in the caster's possession.)  
LEVEL 2 – [BLUR](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/blur.html#_blur)(The target's outline becomes blurred, and they are harder to hit.)  
LEVEL 3 – [DISPEL MAGIC](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/dispelMagic.html#dispel-magic)(A targeted dispel or a counterspell.)  
LEVEL 4 - [DIMENSION DOOR](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/coreRulebook/spells/dimensionDoor.html#dimension-door) (Teleports you a short distance.)  


SPELLS: [WORDS OF POWER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/ultimateMagicWordsOfPower.html#_words-of-power)  
LEVEL 0 [At Will] Save DC 14  
One Effect Word Only (Level 0)

LEVEL 1 [7/Day] Save DC 15  
One Effect Word Only (Level 1 or lower)

LEVEL 2 [7/Day] Save DC 16  
One Effect Word (Level 2 or lower)  
Two Effect Words (Level 0 and Level 0)

LEVEL 3 [7/Day] Save DC 17  
One Effect Word (Level 3 or lower)  
Two Effect Words (Level 1 and Level 1 OR Level 2 and Level 0)  
Three Effect Words (Level 0 and Level 0 and Level 0)

LEVEL 4 [5/Day] Save DC 18  
One Effect Word (Level 4 or lower)  
Two Effect Words (Level 2 and Level 2 OR Level 3 and Level 1)  
Three Effect Words (Level 2 and Level 0 and Level 0)

[EFFECT WORDS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/wordsOfPower/effectWords.html)  
[FLAME JET (Fire 0)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/wordsOfPower/effectWords/fireWords.html#_flame-jet-%28fire%29), [SPARK (Electricity 0)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/wordsOfPower/effectWords/electricityWords.html#_spark-%28electricity%29), [LIFT (Gravity 0)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/wordsOfPower/effectWords/gravityWords.html#_lift-%28gravity%29), [FORCE BLOCK (Armor 0)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/wordsOfPower/effectWords/armorWords.html#_force-block-%28armor%29), [DECIPHER (Language 0)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/wordsOfPower/effectWords/languageWords.html#_decipher-%28language%29), [SENSE MAGIC (Detection 0)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/wordsOfPower/effectWords/detectionWords.html#sense-magic-%28detection%29)  
[BURNING FLASH (Fire 1)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/wordsOfPower/effectWords/fireWords.html#_burning-flash-%28fire%29), [GLIDE (Flight 1)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/spells/glide.html#_glide-), [SHOCK ARC (Electricity 1)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/wordsOfPower/effectWords/electricityWords.html#_shock-arc-%28electricity%29), [FORCE SHIELD (Armor 1)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/wordsOfPower/effectWords/armorWords.html#_force-shield-%28armor%29), [SERVITOR I (Summoning 1)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/wordsOfPower/effectWords/summoningWords.html#servitor-i-%28summoning%29)  
[SUPPRESS (Dispelling 2)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/wordsOfPower/effectWords/dispellingWords.html#_suppress-%28dispelling%29), [FORCE BOLT (Force 2)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/wordsOfPower/effectWords/forceWords.html#force-bolt-%28force%29), [FLOAT (Flight 2)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/wordsOfPower/effectWords/flightWords.html#float-\(flight\))

[LIGHTNING BLAST (Electricity 3)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/wordsOfPower/effectWords/electricityWords.html#lightning-blast-%28electricity%29), [FORCE ARMOR (Armour 3)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/wordsOfPower/effectWords/armorWords.html#force-armor-\(armor\))  
[FIRE WALL (Wall 4)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/wordsOfPower/effectWords/wallWords.html#fire-wall-%28wall%29), [SOUND BLAST (Sonic 4)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/wordsOfPower/effectWords/sonicWords.html#sound-blast-\(sonic\))  


[TARGET WORDS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/wordsOfPower/targetWords.html)  
CONE (Target 0), PERSONAL (Target 0), SELECTED (Target 0)  
BURST (Target 1), LINE (Target 1)  
BARRIER (Target 3)

[META WORDS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/wordsOfPower/metaWords.html)  
(NOTE: META WORDS CAN ONLY BE USED ½ WORDCASTER LEVEL TIMES PER DAY)  
BOOST (Meta 0), DISTANT (Meta 0)

* * *

ARADIA MEGIDO [SORCERER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/sorcerer.html#_sorcerer) \- [DREAMSPUN](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/sorcerer.html#_dreamspun) 9  
TRUE NEUTRAL

TL:DR - Aradia can now wield a whip like she's Indiana Jones. Her godmark speeds her up like Dave's does, and she can take a deliberate stroll through other people's dreams.

[ ](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/qelebdu2cpjsasd/Aradia%20Megido.png?dl=0)

BASIC STATISTICS  
GENDER: Female  
HAIR/EYES: Black hair, red eyes  
HOMELAND: The Greenweald Forest Region (No Fixed Abode)  
DEITY: The Maid of Time  
LANGUAGES: Common, Infernal, Orc, High Elven  
RACE: Tiefling

ATTRIBUTES  
STRENGTH: 8[-1]  
DEXTERITY: 12[+1]  
CONSTITUTION: 12[+1]  
INTELLIGENCE: 15[+2]  
WISDOM: 14[+2]  
CHARISMA: 15[+2] (17[+3])

HIT POINTS: 48/48  
HERO POINTS: 3/3  
INITIATIVE: +6  
BASE SPEED/S: 30ft (land)

ARMOUR CLASS [AC]: 14  
TOUCH AC: 11  
FLAT-FOOTED AC: 13

BASE ATTACK BONUS [BAB]: +4  
BASIC MELEE ATTACK: +3  
BASIC RANGED ATTACK: +5  
COMBAT MANEUVER BONUS [CMB]: +3  
COMBAT MANEUVER DEFENCE [CMD]: 14

SAVES  
FORTITUDE: +4  
REFLEX: +4  
WILL: +8

[WEAPONS/ATTACKS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_weapon-descriptions)  
[WHIP](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_whip) \- This is a [nonlethal](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/equipment.html#_nonlethal), [reach](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/equipment.html#_reach-weapons), [disarm](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/equipment.html#_disarm), [trip](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/equipment.html#_trip) weapon. A whip deals no damage to any creature with an armour bonus of +1 or higher, or a natural armour bonus of +3 or higher. Using a whip provokes an attack of opportunity, just as if the character had used a ranged weapon.

EQUIPMENT - [CARRYING CAPACITY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/additionalRules.html#_carrying-capacity) (STR 8)

EQUIPMENT - ITEM SLOTS  
CLOTHING: EXPLORER'S OUTFIT  
This set of clothes is for someone who never knows what to expect. It includes sturdy boots, leather skirt, a belt, a shirt with a vest, gloves and a cloak. The clothes have plenty of pockets (especially the cloak). The outfit also includes any extra accessories the character might need, such as a scarf or a wide-brimmed hat.

WRISTS: [BRACERS OF ARMOUR +3](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/magicItems/wondrousItems.html#_bracers-of-armor)  
These items appear to be wrist or arm guards. They surround the wearer with an invisible but tangible field of force, granting him an armour bonus of +1, just as though he were wearing armour. Both bracers must be worn for the magic to be effective.

EQUIPMENT - POSSESSIONS  
Whip 2lbs, Bracers of Armour +3 1lb

>[BAG OF HOLDING, TYPE 1](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/magicItems/wondrousItems.html#_bag-of-holding)  
Rope (Silk) [50ft] 5lbs, String/Twine [50ft] 0.5lbs, Sewing Needle, Compass 0.5lbs, Kit (Map Making) [Anyone using this kit to draw a map as they travel receives a +2 circumstance bonus on Survival skill checks to avoid becoming lost] 2lbs, Wayfinder 1lb, Waterskin 4lbs

>POUCH, BELT 0.5lbs (Capacity 10lbs)  
Kit (Cooking) 2lbs, Potion of Cure Moderate Wounds [x5], Dust of Emulation [x1]

TOTAL 19.5lbs (13lbs in EDS)

EQUIPMENT - MONEY  
3CP, 3SP, 534GP, 0PP  
OTHER:

SKILLS  
TRAINED  
+ACROBATICS +5(1)*, CLIMB +3(4)*, KNOWLEDGE DUNGEONEERING +11(9), KNOWLEDGE HISTORY +11(9), SURVIVAL +9(7), SWIM +2(3)* +USE MAGIC DEVICE +12(7)

UNTRAINED  
APPRAISE +2, +BLUFF +2, +CRAFT +2, DIPLOMACY +2, DISGUISE +2, ESCAPE ARTIST +1*, HEAL +2, +INTIMIDATE +2, PERCEPTION +2, PERFORM +1, RIDE +1*, +SENSE MOTIVE +2, STEALTH +1*  
(+FLY +1*)

*Armour Check Penalty: Skill at –0 due to armour worn.  
+Class Skill

FEATS  
[COMBAT CASTING](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_combat-casting)  
The character is adept at spellcasting when threatened or distracted.

[IMPROVED INITIATIVE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_improved-initiative)  
The character's quick reflexes allow her to react rapidly to danger.

[WEAPON FOCUS: (WHIP) [REQUIRES: WEAPON PROFICIENCY, BAB +1]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_weapon-focus)  
The character gains a +1 bonus on all attack rolls she makes using the selected weapon.

[WHIP MASTERY [REQUIRES: WEAPON FOCUS, BAB +2]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/ultimateCombatFeats.html#whip-mastery)  
The character's superior expertise with this weapon does not provoke attacks of opportunity from her enemies. She can deal lethal damage with a whip, although she can still deal nonlethal damage when she wants. Further, she can deal damage with a whip despite a creature's armor bonus or natural armor bonus.

[IMPROVED WHIP MASTERY [REQUIRES: WHIP MASTERY, BAB +5]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/ultimateCombatFeats.html#improved-whip-mastery)  
The character is able to entangle opponents with the coils of her whip. She can also use a whip to grasp an unattended Small or Tiny object within her whip's reach and pull that object into her square. Further, she can use the whip to grasp onto an object within her whip's reach, using 5 feet of her whip as if it were a grappling hook, allowing her to use the rest of her whip to swing on like a rope.

[RACIAL ABILITIES: TIEFLING](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advancedRaceGuide/featuredRaces/tieflings.html#_tiefling-racial-traits)  
TIEFLINGS DO NOT COUNT AS OUTSIDERS FOR THE PURPOSE OF THIS SETTING.  
SORCEROUS GIFT - Tiefling sorcerers treat their Charisma score as 2 points higher for all sorcerer class abilities.  
[DARKNESS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/darkness.html#_darkness) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Tieflings can touch an object and cause it to radiate a deep darkness that dims even magical light.  
LANGUAGES - Tieflings begin play speaking Common and either Abyssal or Infernal. Tieflings with high Intelligence scores can choose any of the following bonus languages: Abyssal, Draconic, Dwarven, High Elven, Gnome, Goblin, Halfling, Infernal, and Orc.

SPECIAL ABILITIES  
GODMARKED  
WEAPON PROFICIENCY (WHIP)  
[BINDING TIES](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/cleric.html#_binding-ties) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (5 USES/DAY) – The character can temporarily take the suffering as an ally onto herself, rendering them temporarily immune to the condition for a short time dependent on her character level.  
[DEATHWATCH](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/deathwatch.html#_deathwatch) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY](4 USES/DAY) - The character can determine the condition of creatures near death within the spell's range.  
[ONE TRACK MIND](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/3rd-party-spells/purple-duck-games/one-track-mind) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (3 USES/DAY) - The target repeats their last action over and over again.  
[DELAYED REACTION](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/3rd-party-spells/4-winds-fantasy-gaming---3rd-party-spells/delayed-reaction) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (2 USES/DAY) – The target is unable to react to things going on around them, delaying their action until after the character's next turn.  
[UNITY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/cleric.html#community-domain) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Whenever a spell or effect targets the character and one or more allies within 30 feet, she can use this ability to allow her allies to use her saving throw against the effect in place of their own.  
[HASTE [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) - The transmuted creatures move and act more quickly than normal.](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/coreRulebook/spells/haste.html#haste)

CLASS FEATURES  
WEAPON AND ARMOUR PROFICIENCY: SORCERER  
Sorcerers are proficient with all simple weapons. They are not proficient with any type of armour or shield. Armour interferes with a sorcerer's gestures, which can cause her spells with somatic components to fail.

FEAT: [ESCHEW MATERIALS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_eschew-materials)  
The character can cast many spells without needing to utilize minor material components.

BLOODLINE FEAT: [COMBAT EXPERTISE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#combat-expertise)  
The sorcerer can choose to take a penalty on melee attack rolls and combat maneuver checks to gain a dodge bonus to her Armor Class.

BLOODLINE: [DREAMSPUN](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/sorcerer.html#_dreamspun)  
CLASS SKILL: Sense Motive.  
BLOODLINE ARCANA: Whenever the character targets a single creature with a spell, she is briefly better protected against attacks made by that foe.  
BLOODLINE POWERS:  
1\. [ LULLABY [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/lullaby.html#_lullaby) (6 USES/DAY): The character can make another creature drowsy, rendering them less perceptive and more susceptible to sleep magic.  
2.[ COMBAT PRECOGNITION [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/sorcerer.html#_combat-precognition)  
At 3rd level, the sorcerer’s insight into the future makes her faster to react to threats.  
3\. DREAMSHAPER [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY]: At 9th level, the sorcerer can manipulate the dreamscape of others, drawing forth or tampering with their subconscious minds.

SPELLS  
LEVEL 0 [At Will] Save DC 13  
[DETECT MAGIC](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/detectMagic.html#_detect-magic), [GHOST SOUND](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/ghostSound.html#_ghost-sound), [MAGE HAND](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/mageHand.html#_mage-hand), [MESSAGE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/message.html#_message), [OPEN/CLOSE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/openClose.html#_open-close), [PRESTIDIGITATION](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/prestidigitation.html#_prestidigitation), [RAY OF FROST](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/rayOfFrost.html#_ray-of-frost), [TOUCH OF FATIGUE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/touchOfFatigue.html#touch-of-fatigue)

LEVEL 1 [7/Day] Save DC 14  
[CHILL TOUCH](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/chillTouch.html#_chill-touch), [HYPNOTISM](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/hypnotism.html#_hypnotism), [MAGIC MISSILE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/magicMissile.html#_magic-missile), [UNSEEN SERVANT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/unseenServant.html#_unseen-servant), [SLEEP](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/sleep.html#_sleep), [EAR-PIERCING SCREAM](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spells/earPiercingScream.html#ear-piercing-scream)

LEVEL 2 [7/Day] Save DC 15  
[AUGURY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/augury.html#_augury), [HAUNTING MISTS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spells/hauntingMists.html#_haunting-mists), [LEVITATE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/levitate.html#_levitate), [UNSHAKEABLE CHILL](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spells/unshakableChill.html#unshakable-chill), [SCARE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/coreRulebook/spells/scare.html#scare)

LEVEL 3 [7/Day] Save DC 16  
[RAY OF EXHAUSTION](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/rayOfExhaustion.html#_ray-of-exhaustion), [DEEP SLUMBER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/deepSlumber.html#deep-slumber), [RAIN OF FROGS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spells/rainOfFrogs.html#rain-of-frogs), [ARCANE SIGHT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/coreRulebook/spells/arcaneSight.html#arcane-sight)

LEVEL 4 [4/Day] Save DC 17  
[FORGETFUL SLUMBER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advancedRaceGuide/coreRaces/halfElves.html#forgetful-slumber), [BLACK TENTACLES](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/coreRulebook/spells/blackTentacles.html#black-tentacles), [DIVINATION](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/coreRulebook/spells/divination.html#divination)

* * *

KANAYA MARYAM [CLERIC](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/cleric.html#_cleric) 9  
TRUE NEUTRAL

TL:DR - Kanaya can make deadly strikes and teleport herself short differences. She can also cast fifth level spells- including making allies of monsters, wielding deadly magic, and bringing the recently slain back to life.

[ ](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/x61dftcoyacm39k/Kanaya%20Maryam.png?dl=0)

BASIC STATISTICS  
GENDER: Female  
HAIR/EYES: White hair, green eyes  
HOMELAND: City of Golgesi (Temple Spire)/The Greenweald Forest Region (No Fixed Abode)  
DEITY: The Sylph of Space  
LANGUAGES: Undercommon, High Elven  
RACE: Drow (Dark Elf)

ATTRIBUTES  
STRENGTH: 13[+1]  
DEXTERITY: 10[+0]  
CONSTITUTION: 14[+2]  
INTELLIGENCE: 10[+0]  
WISDOM: 15[+2]  
CHARISMA: 14[+2]

HIT POINTS: 65/65  
HERO POINTS: 5/5  
INITIATIVE: +4  
BASE SPEED/S: 30ft (land)

ARMOUR CLASS [AC]: 18  
TOUCH AC: 10  
FLAT-FOOTED AC: 18

BASE ATTACK BONUS [BAB]: +6/+1  
BASIC MELEE ATTACK: +7/+2  
BASIC RANGED ATTACK: +6/+1  
COMBAT MANEUVER BONUS [CMB]: +7/+2  
COMBAT MANEUVER DEFENCE [CMD]: 17

SAVES  
FORTITUDE: +10  
REFLEX: +3  
WILL: +9

[WEAPONS/ATTACKS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_weapon-descriptions)  
[+1 ](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_sawtooth-sabre)[GREYFLAME](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/magicItems/weapons.html#_grayflame) SAWTOOTH SABRE - This weapon counts as “light" for the purposes of two-weapon fighting.  
SPECIAL: A Greyflame weapon responds to channeled positive or negative energy. When the wielder spends a swift action to channel energy through the weapon, it ignites with a strange gray flame that sheds light as a torch, increases the weapon's enhancement bonus by +1, and deals +1d6 damage (as the divine power from flame strike) to creatures struck by the weapon.  
[SHIELD BASH, LIGHT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/equipment.html#_shield-bash-attacks) \- Treat as “light" for the purposes of two-weapon fighting, and lose shield bonus to AC when used as a weapon.  
[DAGGER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_dagger) \- Can be thrown, range 10ft.

EQUIPMENT - [CARRYING CAPACITY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/additionalRules.html#_carrying-capacity) (STR 13)

EQUIPMENT - ITEM SLOTS  
CLOTHING: EXPLORER'S OUTFIT  
This set of clothes is for someone who never knows what to expect. It includes sturdy boots, a leather overtunic over a cloth skirt, a belt, a shirt, gloves and a cloak. The clothes have plenty of pockets (especially the cloak). The outfit also includes any extra accessories the character might need, such as a scarf or a wide-brimmed hat.

ARMOUR: +2 STUDDED LEATHER ARMOUR  
+5 armour bonus, +5 max DEX bonus, -0 Armour Check Penalty, 15% Arcane Spell Failure Chance, LIGHT

SHIELD: +1 LIGHT WOODEN SHIELD  
+2 shield bonus, -0 Armour Check Penalty, 5% Arcane Spell Failure Chance  
SPECIAL: The character can bash an opponent with a light shield. Used this way, a light shield is a martial bludgeoning weapon. For the purpose of penalties on attack rolls, treat a shield as a light weapon. If she uses her shield as a weapon, she loses its AC bonus until her next turn.

SHOULDERS: [CLOAK OF RESISTANCE +1](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/magicItems/wondrousItems.html#_cloak-of-resistance)  
This garment offers magical protection in the form of a +1 resistance bonus on all saving throws.

EQUIPMENT - POSSESSIONS  
Masterwork Sawtooth Sabre 2lbs, +1 Studded Leather Armour 20lbs, +1 Shield (Light Wooden) 5lbs, Cloak of Resistance +1 1lb, Eyeglasses, Holy Symbol (Wooden), Dagger 1lb, Waterskin 4lbs

>HANDY HAVERSACK 5lbs (Extradimensional Space, Capacity 80lbs+20lbs+20lbs)  
Tent (Small, 1 person) 20lbs, Bedroll 5lbs, Blanket (Common) 1lb, Kit (Healer's) [This collection of bandages and herbs provides a +2 circumstance bonus on Heal checks. A healer's kit is exhausted after 10 uses] 1lb, Meditation Tea [x3], Incense of Meditation [x3] 3lbs

>POUCH, BELT 0.5lbs (Capacity 10lbs)  
Flint and Steel, Whetstone 1lb, String/Twine [50ft] 0.5lbs, Sewing Needle  
Rations (Wandermeal) [x8] [Eating this tough, dried cake for over a week without other nutrients causes the eater to feel ill] 4lbs, Potion of Cure Moderate Wounds [x5]

TOTAL 21lbs (32lbs+0lbs+0lbs in EDS)

EQUIPMENT - MONEY  
9CP, 2SP, 13GP, 0PP  
OTHER:

SKILLS  
TRAINED  
+CRAFT(APPAREL) +8(5), +DIPLOMACY +13(8), +HEAL +10(5), +KNOWLEDGE RELIGION +9(6)

UNTRAINED  
ACROBATICS +0*, +APPRAISE +0, BLUFF +2, CLIMB +1*, +CRAFT +0, DISGUISE +2, ESCAPE ARTIST +0*, INTIMIDATE +2, PERCEPTION +2, PERFORM +2, RIDE +0*, +SENSE MOTIVE +2, STEALTH +0*, SURVIVAL +2, SWIM +1*  
(FLY +0*)

*Armour Check Penalty: Skill at –0 due to armour worn.  
+Class Skill

FEATS  
[ SELECTIVE CHANNELING [REQUIRES: CHA 13, CHANNEL ENERGY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_selective-channeling) (CAN EXCLUDE: 2)  
The character can choose whom to affect when she channels energy.

[COMBAT CASTING](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_combat-casting)  
The character is adept at spellcasting when threatened or distracted.

[VERSATILE CHANNELER [REQUIRES: CHANNEL ENERGY, NEUTRAL ALIGNMENT]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/ultimateMagicFeats.html#_versatile-channeler)  
The character can choose to channel positive and negative energy.

[IMPROVED INITIATIVE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#improved-initiative)  
The character's quick reflexes allow her to react rapidly to danger.

[VITAL STRIKE [REQUIRES: BAB +6]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/coreRulebook/feats.html#vital-strike)  
The character makes a single attack that deals significantly more damage than normal.

[RACIAL ABILITIES: DROW](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advancedRaceGuide/featuredRaces/drow.html#_drow-racial-traits)  
[DANCING LIGHTS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/dancingLights.html#_dancing-lights) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Drow can create up to four illusory lights and direct their motion.  
[DARKNESS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/darkness.html#_darkness) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Drow can touch an object and cause it to radiate a deep darkness that dims even magical light.  
[FAERIE FIRE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/faerieFire.html#_faerie-fire) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Drow can cause a person to glow with a pale fire that clings to them even if they are not otherwise visible.  
LANGUAGES - Drow begin play speaking Undercommon and High Elven. Drow with high Intelligence can choose bonus languages from the following: Common, Dark Folk, Draconic, Drow Sign Language, Dwarven, Gnome, Goblin or Infernal.

SPECIAL ABILITIES  
GODMARKED  
[HERO’S FORTUNE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/advancedNewRules.html#_hero's-fortune) \- Even at the start of her career, it was clear that the character had a chance at greatness, and her legend continues to grow with every adventure.  
[RENEWED STRENGTH](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/classes/core-classes/cleric/domains/3rd-party-publishers---domains/4-winds-fantasy-gaming---domains/renewal-domain) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (5 USES/DAY) – The character can cure her allies of exhaustion, fatigue, sickness and nausea with a touch.  
[LONGSTRIDER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/longstrider.html#_longstrider) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY](4 USES/DAY) - This power gives the character a +10 foot enhancement bonus to her base speed.  
[LOCATE OBJECT ](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/locateObject.html#_locate-object) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (3 USES/DAY) - The character senses the direction towards an object (specific or type).  
[FLY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/fly.html#fog-cloud) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (2 USES/DAY) – The character can fly.  
[RENEWED LIFE](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/classes/core-classes/cleric/domains/3rd-party-publishers---domains/4-winds-fantasy-gaming---domains/renewal-domain) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – If the character falls below 0 hit points she regains a number of hit points. This power does not activate if she dies outright.  
[DIMENSION DOOR](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/dimensionDoor.html#dimension-door) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) - The character instantly transfers herself from her current location to any other spot within range.

CLASS FEATURES  
WEAPON AND ARMOUR PROFICIENCY: CLERIC  
Clerics are proficient with all simple weapons, light armour, medium armour, and shields (except tower shields). Clerics are also proficient with the favoured weapon of their deities (THE SYLPH OF SPACE favours the SAWTOOTH SABRE).

[CHANNEL ENERGY [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (5 USES/DAY, DC15, 5D6)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/cleric.html#_channel-energy-cleric)  
The cleric can channel positive energy through her holy symbol, choosing to either deal damage to undead creatures or to heal living creatures in a burst of holy power.

SPONTANEOUS CASTING  
The cleric can channel stored spell energy into healing spells that she hasn't prepared ahead of time. She can "lose" any prepared spell that is not an orison or domain spell in order to cast any cure spell of the same spell level or lower.

DOMAINS: [CHARM](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/cleric.html#_charm-domain) ([LOVE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/cleric.html#_love-subdomain)) AND [DEATH](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/cleric.html#_death-domain) ([UNDEAD](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/cleric.html#_undead-subdomain))  
DOMAIN POWERS: ADORATION [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (5 USES/DAY) – The cleric can attempt to thwart a single physical attack against her person.  
CHARMING SMILE [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (8 ROUNDS/DAY) - At 8th level, the cleric can cast charm person as a swift action. She can only have one creature charmed in this way at a time.  
DOMAIN POWERS: [DEATH'S KISS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/cleric.html#_death%27s-kiss) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (5 USES/DAY) – The cleric can cause a creature to take on some of the traits of the undead with a touch.  
DEATH'S EMBRACE [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY] - At 8th level, the cleric heals damage instead of taking damage from channeled negative energy. If the channeled negative energy targets undead, she heals hit points just like undead in the area.

SPELLS  
[CLERIC LEVEL 0](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/spell-lists-and-domains/spell-lists---cleric#p0) [4 Prepared, At Will] Save DC 12  
+MENDING – Makes minor repairs on an object.  
+PURIFY FOOD AND DRINK – Purifies 1 cubic ft/level of food or water.  
+SPARK – Ignites flammable objects.  
+STABILIZE – Cause a dying creature to stabilize.

[CLERIC LEVEL 1](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/spell-lists-and-domains/spell-lists---cleric#p1) [5/Day+1 Prepared] Save DC 13  
DOMAIN SPELLS:  
+CHARM PERSON – Makes one person your friend.  
+CAUSE FEAR – One creature of 5HD or less flees for 1d4 rounds.  
  
+++BLESS – Allies gain +1 on attack rolls and saves against fear.  
+TOUCH OF BLOODLETTING - This spell causes existing wounds on a target to bleed profusely.

[CLERIC LEVEL 2](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/spell-lists-and-domains/spell-lists---cleric#p2) [4/Day+1 Prepared] Save DC 14  
DOMAIN SPELLS:  
ENTHRALL - Captivates all within 100 ft. + 10 ft./level.  
++[GHOUL TOUCH](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/ghoulTouch.html#_ghoul-touch) \- Paralyzes one subject, which exudes stench that makes those nearby sickened.  
  
++[BLOOD OF THE MARTYR](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/all-spells/b/blood-of-the-martyr) \- Target bleeds from orifices, enabling other creatures to sup the blood to regain hit points. 1D6/4 levels (max 4d6) damage/healing.  
+CURE MODERATE WOUNDS - Cures 2d8 damage + 1/level (max +10).

[CLERIC LEVEL 3](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/spell-lists-and-domains/spell-lists---cleric#p3) [3/Day+1 Prepared] Save DC 15  
DOMAIN SPELLS:  
[SUGGESTION](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/suggestion.html#_suggestion) \- Compels a subject to follow stated course of action.  
+[++ANIMATE DEAD](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/animateDead.html#_animate-dead) \- Turns corpses into undead skeletons or zombies that obey spoken commands.  
  
+SEARING LIGHT - Ray deals 1d8/two levels damage (more against undead).  
+BLOOD BIOGRAPHY - Learn about a creature with its blood.

[CLERIC LEVEL 4](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/spell-lists-and-domains/spell-lists---cleric#p4) [2/Day+1 Prepared] Save DC 16  
DOMAIN SPELLS:  
[+HEROISM](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/heroism.html#heroism) \- This spell imbues a single creature with great bravery and morale in battle.  
+[+ENERVATION](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/enervation.html#enervation) \- You point your finger and fire a black ray of negative energy that suppresses the life force of any living creature it strikes.  
  
+CURE CRITICAL WOUNDS - Cures 4d8 damage + 1/level (max +20).

[CLERIC LEVEL 5](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/spell-lists-and-domains/spell-lists---cleric#p5) [1/day+1 Prepared] Save DC 17  
DOMAIN SPELLS:  
[+CHARM MONSTER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/coreRulebook/spells/charmMonster.html#charm-monster) \- Makes monster believe it is your ally.  
[SLAY LIVING](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/coreRulebook/spells/slayLiving.html#slay-living) \- Touch attack deals 12d6 + 1 per level.  
  
\+ BREATH OF LIFE - Cures 5d8 damage + 1/level and restores life to recently slain creatures.

* * *

JANE CROCKER [RANGER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/ranger.html#_ranger) ([URBAN RANGER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/ranger.html#_urban-ranger)) 9  
LAWFUL GOOD

TL:DR - Jane's combat reflexes are faster, letting her make more attacks of opportunity. Her godmark lets her cure critical wounds. She can dodge area attacks more effectively.

[ ](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/md6fpl4wbg6saxy/Jane%20Crocker.png?dl=0)

BASIC STATISTICS  
GENDER: Female  
HAIR/EYES: Black hair, blue eyes  
HOMELAND: City of Porthaven (Outer Ring)  
DEITY: The Maid of Life  
LANGUAGES: Common, High Elven, Celestial, Orc  
RACE: Tuatha (High Elf)

ATTRIBUTES  
STRENGTH: 16[+3]  
DEXTERITY: 15[+2]  
CONSTITUTION: 12[+1]  
INTELLIGENCE: 10[+0]  
WISDOM: 13[+1]  
CHARISMA: 10[+0]

HIT POINTS: 69/69  
HERO POINTS: 2/5  
INITIATIVE: +2  
BASE SPEED/S: 30ft (land)

ARMOUR CLASS [AC]: 21  
TOUCH AC: 12  
FLAT-FOOTED AC: 19

BASE ATTACK BONUS [BAB]: +8/+3  
BASIC MELEE ATTACK: +11/+6  
BASIC RANGED ATTACK: +10/+5  
COMBAT MANEUVER BONUS [CMB]: +11/+6(+13 for Bull Rush)  
COMBAT MANEUVER DEFENCE [CMD]: 23(25 for Bull Rush)

SAVES  
FORTITUDE: +7  
REFLEX: +8  
WILL: +3

[WEAPONS/ATTACKS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_weapon-descriptions)  
[+1 ](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_trident)[UNDEAD BANE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/magicItems/weapons.html#_weapons-bane) TRIDENT - This is a [brace](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/equipment.html#_brace) weapon. Can be thrown, range 10ft. A bane weapon excels against the specified foes.  
[SHIELD BASH, LIGHT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/equipment.html#_shield-bash-attacks) \- Treat as “light" for the purposes of two-weapon fighting, and lose shield bonus to AC when used as a weapon.  
[DAGGER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_dagger) \- Can be thrown, range 10ft.

EQUIPMENT - [CARRYING CAPACITY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/additionalRules.html#_carrying-capacity) (STR 17)

EQUIPMENT - ITEM SLOTS  
CLOTHING: ARTISAN'S OUTFIT  
This outfit consists of a blouse with buttons, drawstring skirt, shoes, and a neat cloth cap. It also includes a cloth apron for carrying small items such as a money pouch.

ARMOUR: +2 STUDDED LEATHER  
+5 armour bonus, +5 max DEX bonus, 0 Armour Check Penalty, 15% Arcane Spell Failure Chance, LIGHT

SHIELD: LIGHT STEEL SHIELD OF BASHING +1  
+3 shield bonus, -0 Armour Check Penalty, 5% Arcane Spell Failure Chance  
SPECIAL: The character can bash an opponent with a light shield. Used this way, a light shield of bashing is a martial bludgeoning weapon of two size categories larger, and acts as a +1 weapon when used to bash. For the purpose of penalties on attack rolls, treat a shield as a light weapon. If she uses her shield as a weapon, she loses its AC bonus until her next turn.

EQUIPMENT - POSSESSIONS  
Trident 4lbs, +2 Studded Leather 20lbs, Light Steel Shield of Bashing +1 6lbs, Dagger 1lb, Waterskin 4lbs

>BACKPACK, MASTERWORK 4lbs (Capacity 60lbs, +1 STR to carry loads)  
Bedroll 5lbs, Kit (Cooking) 2lbs, Rations (Trail) [x6] 6lb, Parade Armour 20lbs, Elixir of Truth [x1], Elixir of Vision [x1], Shield (Light Steel) 6lbs

>POUCH, BELT 0.5lbs (Capacity 10lbs)  
Flint and Steel, Manacles 2lbs, Map [+1 circumstance bonus on Survival checks made to navigate in the Greenweald Forest region] 2lbs

TOTAL 62.5lbs (19.5lbs without backpack)

EQUIPMENT - MONEY  
0CP, 2SP, 73GP, 0PP  
OTHER:

SKILLS  
TRAINED  
ACROBATICS +7(4)*, +CRAFT(COOKING) +12(9), DISGUISE +6(6), +KNOWLEDGE LOCAL +12(9), +PERCEPTION +13(9), SENSE MOTIVE +12(8), +STEALTH +11(6)*, +SURVIVAL +10(6)

UNTRAINED  
+APPRAISE +0, BLUFF +0, +CLIMB +3*, CRAFT +0, +DIPLOMACY +0, ESCAPE ARTIST +2*, +HEAL +1, +INTIMIDATE +0, PERFORM +0, +RIDE +2*, +SWIM +3*  
(FLY +2*)

*Armour Check Penalty: Skill at –0 due to armour worn.  
+Class Skill

FEATS  
[ COSMOPOLITAN](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/advancedFeats.html#_cosmopolitan) (APPRAISE AND DIPLOMACY)  
Living in large, exotic cities has put the character in touch with many diverse civilizations, cultures, and races.

[TWO-WEAPON FIGHTING [REQUIRES: DEX 15]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_two-weapon-fighting)  
The character can fight with a weapon wielded in each of her hands. She can make one extra attack each round with the secondary weapon.

[POWER ATTACK [REQUIRES: STR 13, BAB+1]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_power-attack)  
The character can make exceptionally deadly melee attacks by sacrificing accuracy for strength.

[IMPROVED BULL RUSH [REQUIRES: STR 13, BAB+1, POWER ATTACK]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#improved-bull-rush)  
The character is skilled at pushing her foes around.

[COMBAT REFLEXES](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/coreRulebook/feats.html#combat-reflexes)  
The character can make additional attacks of opportunity.

[RACIAL ABILITIES: ELVEN](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advancedRaceGuide/coreRaces/elves.html#_elf-racial-traits)  
LANGUAGES - Tuatha begin play speaking Common and High Elven. Tuatha with high Intelligence scores can choose from the following: Celestial, Draconic, Gnoll, Gnome, Goblin, Orc, and Sylvan.

SPECIAL ABILITIES  
GODMARKED  
[HERO’S FORTUNE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/advancedNewRules.html#_hero's-fortune) \- Even at the start of her career, it was clear that the character had a chance at greatness, and her legend continues to grow with every adventure.  
[BINDING TIES](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/cleric.html#_binding-ties) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (3 USES/DAY) – The character can temporarily take the suffering as an ally onto herself, rendering them temporarily immune to the condition for a short time dependent on her character level.  
[CURE LIGHT WOUNDS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/cureLightWounds.html#_cure-light-wounds) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (4 USES/DAY) - When laying her hand upon a living creature, the character channels positive energy that cures 1d8 points of damage + 1 point per caster level (maximum +5).  
[CURE MODERATE WOUNDS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/cureModerateWounds.html#_cure-moderate-wounds) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (3 USES/DAY) - When laying her hand upon a living creature, the character channels positive energy that cures 2d8 points of damage + 1 point per caster level (maximum +10).  
[CURE SERIOUS WOUNDS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/cureSeriousWounds.html#cure-serious-wounds) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY](2 USES/DAY) - When laying her hand upon a living creature, the character channels positive energy that cures 3d8 points of damage + 1 point per character level (maximum +15).  
[UNITY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/cleric.html#community-domain) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Whenever a spell or effect targets the character and one or more allies within 30 feet, she can use this ability to allow her allies to use her saving throw against the effect in place of their own.  
[CURE CRITICAL WOUNDS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/coreRulebook/spells/cureCriticalWounds.html#cure-critical-wounds) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) - When laying her hand upon a living creature, the character channels positive energy that cures 4d8 points of damage + 1 point per caster level (maximum +20).

CLASS FEATURES  
WEAPON AND ARMOUR PROFICIENCY: RANGER  
A ranger is proficient with all simple and martial weapons and with light armour, medium armour and shields (except tower shields).

[FAVOURED ENEMY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/ranger.html#_favored-enemy) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY] - HUMANOID (ELF) [+2], UNDEAD [+4]  
A ranger is better at attacking and damaging their favoured enemies. They spot them, track them, lie to them and understand them better, and know more about them than other similar creatures.

TRACK [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
A ranger is better at following or identifying tracks.

WILD EMPATHY [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
A ranger can communicate wordlessly with an animal, in the hope of making it more friendly towards the ranger and her allies.

COMBAT STYLE FEAT: [SHIELD FOCUS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_shield-focus) [REQUIRES: SHIELD PROFICIENCY, BAB +1]  
Increase the defensive bonus granted by any shield you are using.

[FAVOURED COMMUNITY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/ranger.html#_favored-community) (ADVENTURER'S QUARTER +4, TEMPLE DISTRICT +2)  
At 3rd level, the urban ranger forms a bond with a community. While inside the limits of this community, she gains numerous bonuses to knowledge, tracking and survival, as well as being untrackable herself. At 8th level, and every five levels thereafter, an urban ranger may select an additional favored community.

[FEAT: ENDURANCE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_endurance)  
The character is more readily able to handle prolonged physical activity and deprivation, and may sleep in light or medium armour without becoming fatigued.

[HUNTER’S BOND – COMPANION BOND [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/ranger.html#_hunter-s-bond)  
At 4th level, a ranger forms a bond with her hunting companions, allowing her to extend a limited version of her favoured enemy bonuses to them.

COMBAT STYLE FEAT: [IMPROVED SHIELD BASH](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_improved-shield-bash) [REQUIRES: SHIELD PROFICIENCY]  
The ranger can protect herself with her shield, even if she uses it to attack.

[PUSH THROUGH](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/ranger.html#push-through) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
At 7th level, an urban ranger is never slowed by difficult terrain in her favored communities. In addition, she can move through the space occupied by local citizens as if they were allies.

[SWIFT TRACKER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/ranger.html#swift-tracker) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
At 8th level, a ranger can move at her normal speed while using Survival to follow tracks, or move twice as fast at a lesser penality.

[EVASION](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/coreRulebook/classes/ranger.html#evasion-ranger) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
When she reaches 9th level, a ranger can avoid even magical and unusual attacks with great agility. If she makes a successful Reflex saving throw against an attack that normally deals half damage on a successful save, she instead takes no damage. Evasion can be used only if the ranger is wearing light armor, medium armor, or no armor. A helpless ranger does not gain the benefit of evasion.

SPELLS  
[RANGER LEVEL 1](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/spell-lists-and-domains/spell-lists---ranger#p1) [3/Day Prepared] Save DC 12  
+HUNTER’S HOWL – Treat enemies as favoured for 1 round/level.  
+LEAD BLADES - Melee weapons damage as if one size bigger.  
+RESIST ENERGY - Ignores 10 (or more) points of damage/attack from specified energy type.

[RANGER LEVEL 2](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/spell-lists-and-domains/spell-lists---ranger#p2) [1/Day Prepared] Save DC 13  
+PROTECTIVE SPIRIT - Protects from attacks of opportunity.

* * *

JAKE ENGLISH [GUNSLINGER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/classes/gunslinger.html) ([PISTOLERO](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/classArchetypes/gunslinger.html#_pistolero-\(archetype\))) 9  
CHAOTIC GOOD

TL:DR - Jake has gained Deadly Aim, letting him place his shots more dangerously. His godmark, like Rose and Sollux, lets him avoid being held down by magic.

[ ](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/hzjmr0vpbpao9ks/Jake%20English.png?dl=0)

BASIC STATISTICS  
GENDER: Male  
HAIR/EYES: Black hair, green eyes  
HOMELAND: Quartzkin Clanhold  
DEITY: The Page of Hope  
LANGUAGES: Common, High Elven, Dwarven  
RACE: Tuatha (High Elf)

ATTRIBUTES  
STRENGTH: 13[+1]  
DEXTERITY: 18[+4]  
CONSTITUTION: 10[+0]  
INTELLIGENCE: 10[+0]  
WISDOM: 15[+2]  
CHARISMA: 10[+0]

HIT POINTS: 59/59  
HERO POINTS: 4/5  
INITIATIVE: +4(+6 if holding Grit)  
BASE SPEED/S: 30ft (land)

ARMOUR CLASS [AC]: 22  
TOUCH AC: 16  
FLAT-FOOTED AC: 16

BASE ATTACK BONUS [BAB]: +9/+4  
BASIC MELEE ATTACK: +10/+5  
BASIC RANGED ATTACK: +12/+7  
COMBAT MANEUVER BONUS [CMB]: +10/+5  
COMBAT MANEUVER DEFENCE [CMD]: 23

SAVES  
FORTITUDE: +6  
REFLEX: +10  
WILL: +5

[WEAPONS/ATTACKS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_firearms-table)  
[HEAVY PICK](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_heavy-pick)  
[MASTERWORK GUNSLINGER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/classes/gunslinger.html#_gunsmith) [PISTOL](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/combat/firearms.html#_pistol) \- Ammunition 22 bullets, 22 black powder charges (both required to fire).  
[MASTERWORK PISTOL](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/combat/firearms.html#_pistol) \- As above, shared ammunition.

EQUIPMENT - [CARRYING CAPACITY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/additionalRules.html#_carrying-capacity) (STR 14)

EQUIPMENT - ITEM SLOTS  
CLOTHING: ROYAL OUTFIT  
Royal clothes are ostentatious, with gems, gold, silk, and fur in abundance. A royal outfit is rarely designed for regular wear or inclement weather—or even for donning unaided—as it's presumed that anyone who might be wearing it has plenty of servants to take care of his or her every need. This outfit includes only the clothing, not a royal scepter, crown, ring, or other regal accoutrements. 

CLOTHING: ADVENTURER'S SASH  
This bandoleer holds six pouches along its length and a satchel at the hip. Each pouch has a stiff leather flap that can be secured against jostling with a clasp (requiring a move action to open or close) or left unfastened for easier access. The pouches and satchel each contain a number of loops and ties for further securing equipment. The sash buckles at the shoulder, and can be freed with a sharp tug in an emergency as a move action.

ARMOUR: +2 MITHRAL CHAIN SHIRT  
+6 armour bonus, +6 max DEX bonus, -0 Armour Check Penalty, 10% Arcane Spell Failure Chance, LIGHT  
SPECIAL: An item made from mithral weighs half as much as the same item made from other metals.

CHEST: [ALL TOOLS VEST](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/magicItems/wondrousItems.html#_all-tools-vest)  
This well-made leather vest bears numerous shiny metal buttons, which stud a number of bulging pockets. Once per day, as a standard action, the wearer can speak the vest’s command word and order it to bring forth all the standard tools required to make checks for any one Craft skill. These tools appear in the countless pockets of the vest or, if too heavy, on the floor, on a nearby shelf, on a workbench, or in a toolbox or cupboard that appears nearby. Once summoned, they remain for 24 hours or until another creature touches them, whichever comes first.

BELT: [BENEFICIAL BANDOLIER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/wondrousItems/belts.html#_beneficial-bandolier) (22/200)  
This bandolier is made of finely tanned leather. It has slots for up to 200 rounds of ammunition. Pellets and black powder are kept in tiny individual pouches, and bullets in small loops. As a swift action, the wearer can command a single round of ammunition from the beneficial bandolier to teleport into a firearm of the appropriate type that he is wielding.

RING 1: [RING OF GRIT MASTERY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/ringsRodsStaves/rings.html#_ring-of-grit-mastery) (0/2)  
This ring is made out of fused firearm bullets, making it a chunky but overall impressive ring. Twice per day, as a free action, when the wearer regains grit, he can choose to store it in the ring of grit mastery instead of regaining the grit point. Any grit points stored in the ring disappear at the start of each day.

EQUIPMENT - POSSESSIONS  
Adventurer's Sash 3lbs, Heavy Pick 6lbs, Masterwork Gunslinger Pistol 4lbs, Masterwork Pistol 4lbs, +2 Mithral Chain Shirt 12.5lbs, All Tools Vest 5lbs, Beneficial Bandolier 2lbs, Ring of Grit Mastery, Dagger 1lb, Waterskin 4lbs

>[HANDY HAVERSACK](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/magicItems/wondrousItems.html#_handy-haversack) 5lbs (Extradimensional Space, Capacity 80lbs+20lbs+20lbs)  
Bedroll 5lbs, Blanket (Common) [x2] 2lb, Kit (Grooming) 2lbs, Kit (Cooking) 2lbs, Kit (Mess) 1lb, Kit (Dungeoneering Deluxe) 15lbs, Kit (Gunsmith’s) 2lbs, Kit (Gear Maintenance) 2lbs, Potion of Cure Light Wounds [x4], Moonrod [x17], Dragon Punch Whiskey [x1]  
Tent (Small, 1 person) 20lbs  
Rations (Trail) [x20] 20lb

>LEATHER SATCHEL 1lbs (Capacity 35lbs)  
Healer's Kit [10 uses, +2] 1lb, Wound Paste [x3] 0.5lbs

>POUCH, BELT 0.5lbs (Capacity 10lbs)  
Flint and Steel, Compass 0.5lbs, Oil of Silence [x1], Potion of Cure Moderate Wounds [x5]

>POWDER HORN 1lb (Capacity 10 x Black Powder)  
Black Powder [x2] [crafted at 10% cost]

>POWDER HORN 1lb (Capacity 10 x Black Powder)  
Black Powder [x10] [crafted at 10% cost]

>POWDER HORN 1lb (Capacity 10 x Black Powder)  
Black Powder [x10] [crafted at 10% cost]

TOTAL 40.5lbs (20.5lbs+20lbs+20lbs in EDS)

EQUIPMENT - MONEY  
0CP, 0SP, 495GP, 0PP  
OTHER:

SKILLS  
TRAINED  
+ACROBATICS +11(5)*, +CLIMB +9(5)*, +CRAFT(ALCHEMY) +10(7),*DISABLE DEVICE +4(4), KNOWLEDGE DUNGEONEERING +9(9), LINGUISTICS +1(1), +SURVIVAL +7(2), +SWIM +6(2)*, USE MAGIC DEVICE +5(5)

UNTRAINED  
APPRAISE +0, +BLUFF +0, CRAFT +0, DIPLOMACY +0, DISGUISE +0, ESCAPE ARTIST +3*, +HEAL +2, +INTIMIDATE +0, +PERCEPTION +2, PERFORM +0, +RIDE +3*, SENSE MOTIVE +2, STEALTH +3*  
(FLY +3*)

*Armour Check Penalty: Skill at –0 due to armour worn.  
+Class Skill

FEATS  
[ RAPID RELOAD (PISTOL) [REQUIRES: WEAPON PROFICIENCY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/ultimateCombatFeats.html#_rapid-reload)  
The character can reload pistols quickly.

[BLIND-FIGHT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_blind-fight)  
The character is skilled at attacking opponents that he cannot clearly perceive.

[TWO-WEAPON FIGHTING [REQUIRES: DEX 15]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_two-weapon-fighting)  
The character can fight with a weapon wielded in each of her hands. She can make one extra attack each round with the secondary weapon.

[POINT-BLANK SHOT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#point-blank-shot)  
The character is especially accurate when making ranged attacks against close targets.

[DEADLY AIM [REQUIRES: DEX 13, BAB +1]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#deadly-aim)  
The character can make exceptionally deadly ranged attacks by pinpointing a foe's weak spot, at the expense of making the attack less likely to succeed.

[RACIAL ABILITIES: ELVEN](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advancedRaceGuide/coreRaces/elves.html#_elf-racial-traits)  
LANGUAGES - Tuatha begin play speaking Common and High Elven. Tuatha with high Intelligence scores can choose from the following: Celestial, Draconic, Gnoll, Gnome, Goblin, Orc, and Sylvan.

SPECIAL ABILITIES  
GODMARKED  
[HERO’S FORTUNE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/advancedNewRules.html#_hero's-fortune) \- Even at the start of his career, it was clear that the character had a chance at greatness, and his legend continues to grow with every adventure.  
[HONOR BOUND](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/cleric.html#_honor-bound) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (3 USES/DAY) – The character can, with a touch, remind a creature of its duties and responsibilities and help them shake off an enchantment or compulsion. He can also attempt to shake off effects of this nature that have affected him.  
[REMOVE FEAR](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/removeFear.html#_remove-fear) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY](4 USES/DAY) – The character instils courage in the subject, granting them a bonus against fear effects for 10 minutes.  
[REMOVE PARALYSIS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/removeParalysis.html#_remove-paralysis) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY](3 USES/DAY) – The character frees creatures from paralysis or slow effects.  
[REMOVE CURSE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/removeCurse.html#remove-curse) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY](2 USES/DAY) – Counters and dispels bestow curse, and can remove all curses on an object or a creature.  
[DIVINE PRESENCE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/cleric.html#glory-domain) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (8 ROUNDS/DAY) – The character can emit a 30-foot aura of divine presence. All allies within this area are treated as if under the effects of a sanctuary spell, unless they leave the area of make an attack.  
[FREEDOM OF MOVEMENT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/freedomOfMovement.html#freedom-of-movement) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) - Enables the character or a creature he touches to move and attack normally for the duration of the spell, even under the influence of magic that usually impedes movement.

CLASS FEATURES  
WEAPON AND ARMOUR PROFICIENCY: GUNSLINGER (PISTOLERO)  
Pistoleros are proficient with all simple and martial weapons, and with one-handed firearms. They are proficient with all light armour.

[GUNSMITH](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/classes/gunslinger.html#_gunsmith) (PISTOLERO)  
A gunslinger has a battered pistol, which only he knows how to properly use. To anyone else, the gun seems to be broken.

[FEAT: QUICK DRAW [REQUIRES: BAB +1]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_quick-draw)  
The gunslinger can draw weapons faster than most.

FEAT: [GUNSMITHING](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/ultimateCombatFeats.html#_gunsmithing)  
The character knows the secrets of repairing and restoring firearms.

[GRIT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/classes/gunslinger.html#_grit) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY] (4/4)  
Gunslingers make their mark upon the world with their grit, which they use to accomplish daring deeds (see below).

[DEEDS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/classes/gunslinger.html#_deeds)  
1\. [UP CLOSE AND DEADLY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/classArchetypes/gunslinger.html#_up-close-and-deadly) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
2\. [GUNSLINGER'S DODGE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/classes/gunslinger.html#_gunslinger%27s-dodge) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
3\. [QUICK CLEAR](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/classes/gunslinger.html#_quick-clear) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
4\. [DEAD SHOT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/classes/gunslinger.html#dead-shot) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
5\. [DEAD](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/classes/gunslinger.html#deadeye)[EYE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/classArchetypes/gunslinger.html#deadeye) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
6\. [TARGETING](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/classes/gunslinger.html#targeting) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]

[GUNSLINGER INITIATIVE [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/classes/gunslinger.html#_gunslinger-initiative) \- At 3rd level, as long as the gunslinger has at least 1 grit point, he is markedly faster to react to threats.  
  
[PISTOL-WHIP [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/classes/gunslinger.html#_pistol-whip) \- At 3rd level, the gunslinger can make a surprise melee attack with the butt or handle of his firearm for a cost of 1 grit point.  
  
[UTILITY SHOT [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/classes/gunslinger.html#_utility-shot) \- At 3rd level, as long as the gunslinger has at least 1 grit point, he can perform utility shots (Blast Lock- breaks locks open, Scoot Unattended Object- moves a tiny object up to 15 feet, and Stop Bleeding- uses the hot barrel of the gun to cauterize wounds).

[NIMBLE [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY] (+2)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/classes/gunslinger.html#_nimble)  
Starting at 2nd level, the gunslinger gains a dodge bonus to AC while wearing light or no armour.

[PISTOL TRAINING 2 [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/classArchetypes/gunslinger.html#_pistol-training)  
Starting at 5th level, the pistolero increases his skill with one-handed firearms, doing more damage in line with his Dexterity and becoming progressively less likely to misfire.

[FEAT: EXTRA GRIT [REQUIRES: GRIT CLASS FEATURE OR THE AMATEUR GUNSLINGER FEAT]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/ultimateCombatFeats.html#extra-grit)  
The gunslinger has more grit than the ordinary gunslinger. He gains 2 extra grit points at the start of each day, and his maximum grit increases by 2.

* * *

ROXY LALONDE [WIZARD](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/wizard.html#_wizard) 3 / [ROGUE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/rogue.html#_rogue) 3 / [ARCANE TRICKSTER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/prestigeClasses/arcaneTrickster.html#arcane-trickster) 3  
CHAOTIC GOOD

TL:DR – Roxy can cast a spell that redirects if it doesn't land, surprise even the prepared with sneak attacks, and her godmark lets her mimic summoning and creation magic with illusions.

[](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/5i92rjtgq134lqh/Roxy%20Lalonde.png?dl=0)

BASIC STATISTICS  
GENDER: Female  
HAIR/EYES: Blonde hair, pink eyes  
HOMELAND: City of Porthaven (Temple District)  
DEITY: The Rogue of Void  
LANGUAGES: Common, Celestial, High Elven, Draconic  
RACE: Aasimar

ATTRIBUTES  
STRENGTH: 10[+0]  
DEXTERITY: 13[+1]  
CONSTITUTION: 14[+2]  
INTELLIGENCE: 17[+3]  
WISDOM: 10[+0]  
CHARISMA: 14[+2]

HIT POINTS: 61/61  
HERO POINTS: 3/3  
INITIATIVE: +5  
BASE SPEED/S: 30ft (land)

ARMOUR CLASS [AC]: 11(15)  
TOUCH AC: 11  
FLAT-FOOTED AC: 10(14)  
+1 dodge bonus to AC against attacks made by traps.

BASE ATTACK BONUS [BAB]: +4  
BASIC MELEE ATTACK: +4  
BASIC RANGED ATTACK: +5  
COMBAT MANEUVER BONUS [CMB]: +4  
COMBAT MANEUVER DEFENCE [CMD]: 15

SAVES  
FORTITUDE: +5  
REFLEX: +7  
WILL: +6  
+1 bonus to Reflex saves made to avoid traps.

[WEAPONS/ATTACKS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_weapon-descriptions)  
[UNARMED](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_improved-unarmed-strike) [STRIKE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/combat.html#_unarmed-strike-damage)  
[CROSSBOW, LIGHT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_light-crossbow) – 20 ammunition  
[DAGGER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_dagger) \- Can be thrown, range 10ft.

EQUIPMENT - [CARRYING CAPACITY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/additionalRules.html#_carrying-capacity) (STR 10)

EQUIPMENT - ITEM SLOTS  
CLOTHING: ENTERTAINER'S OUTFIT  
This set of flashy- perhaps even gaudy- clothes is for entertaining. While the outfit looks whimsical, its practical design lets the character tumble, dance, walk a tightrope, or just run if the audience turns ugly.

EQUIPMENT - POSSESSIONS  
Crossbow (Light) 4lbs, Bolts (Crossbow) [x20] 2lb, Signet Ring, Dagger 1lb, Waterskin 4lbs, Hip Flask 2lbs

>POUCH, SPELL COMPONENTS 2lbs

>POUCH, BELT 0.5lbs (Capacity 10lbs)  
Ink (Black) [1oz. Vial], Inkpen, Pearl of Power (1st level), Dragon Whistle

TOTAL 15.5lbs

EQUIPMENT - MONEY  
0CP, 0SP, 0GP, 0PP  
OTHER:

SKILLS  
TRAINED  
+BLUFF +12(7), +DIPLOMACY +13(8), +DISABLE DEVICE* +13(9), +ESCAPE ARTIST +12(8)*, +KNOWLEDGE ARCANA +15(9), +SLEIGHT OF HAND +5(1)*, +SPELLCRAFT +15(9), +STEALTH +16(9)*, +USE MAGIC DEVICE +14(9)

UNTRAINED  
+ACROBATICS +1*, +APPRAISE +3, +CLIMB +0*, +CRAFT +3, +DISGUISE +2, HEAL +0, +INTIMIDATE +2, +PERCEPTION +2(4), +PERFORM +2, RIDE +1*, +SENSE MOTIVE +2(4), SURVIVAL +2, +SWIM +0*  
(+FLY +1*)

*Armour Check Penalty: Skill at –0 due to armour worn.  
+Class Skill

FEATS  
[ARCANE STRIKE [REQUIRES: ARCANE SPELLCASTING]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_arcane-strike)  
The character draws upon her arcane power to enhance her weapons with magical energy.

[IMPROVED INITIATIVE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_improved-initiative)  
The character's quick reflexes allow her to react rapidly to danger.

[ECLECTIC (ROGUE) [REQUIRES: HUMAN]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/advancedFeats.html#_eclectic)  
The character has a talent for picking up different vocations. NOTE: As there are no humans in the setting, the human requirement is accepted to apply to Aasimar as the closest equivalent.

[SPELL FOCUS (ILLUSION)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#spell-focus)  
Any spells you cast of the chosen magic school are more difficult to resist.

[BOUNCING SPELL](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/advancedFeats.html#bouncing-spell)  
The character can direct a failed spell against a different target.

[RACIAL ABILITIES: AASIMAR](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advancedRaceGuide/featuredRaces/aasimars.html#_aasimar-racial-traits)  
AASIMARS DO NOT COUNT AS OUTSIDERS FOR THE PURPOSE OF THIS SETTING.  
[DAYLIGHT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/daylight.html#_daylight) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Aasimars can touch an object and cause it to shed a brilliant light which drives back even magical darkness.  
LANGUAGES – Aasimars begin play speaking Common and Celestial. Aasimars with high Intelligence scores can choose any of the following bonus languages: Draconic, Dwarven, High Elven, Gnome, Halfling, and Sylvan.

SPECIAL ABILITIES  
GODMARKED  
[IMPROVED UNARMED STRIKE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_improved-unarmed-strike) \- The character is skilled at fighting while unarmed.  
[COPYCAT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/cleric.html#_trickery-domain) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (5 USES/DAY) – The character can briefly, dependent on her character level, create an illusory double of herself to distract or mislead others.  
EXTRA – Bluff, Disguise and Stealth are class skills.  
[ENTROPIC SHIELD](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/entropicShield.html#_entropic-shield) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY](4 USES/DAY) - A magical field appears around the character, glowing with a chaotic blast of multicolored hues and deflecting some incoming ranged attacks.  
[BLINDNESS/DEAFNESS (BLINDNESS ONLY)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/blindnessDeafness.html#_blindness-deafness) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY](3 USES/DAY) - This power renders the subject blind.  
[NONDETECTION](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/nondetection.html#nondetection) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY](2 USES/DAY) – Protects against location by divination spells and magic items.  
[MASTER'S ILLUSION](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/cleric.html#trickery-domain) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (8 ROUNDS/DAY) – The character can create an illusion that hides the appearance of herself and any number of allies within 30ft.  
[SHADOW CONJURATION](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/coreRulebook/spells/shadowConjuration.html#shadow-conjuration) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – The character can use material from the Plane of Shadow to shape quasi-real illusions of one or more creatures, objects, or forces. Shadow conjuration can mimic any sorcerer or wizard conjuration (summoning) or conjuration (creation) spell of 3rd level or lower.

CLASS FEATURES  
WEAPON AND ARMOUR PROFICIENCY: WIZARD  
Wizards are proficient with the club, dagger, heavy crossbow, light crossbow, and quarterstaff, but not with any type of armour or shield. Armour interferes with a wizard's movements, which can cause her spells with somatic components to fail.

WEAPON AND ARMOUR PROFICIENCY: ROGUE  
Rogues are proficient with all simple weapons, plus the hand crossbow, rapier, sap, shortbow, and short sword. They are proficient with light armour, but not with shields.

[ARCANE BOND](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/wizard.html#_arcane-bond) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]: [FAMILIAR](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/wizard.html#_familiars) (FRIGGLISH, [CAT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/monsters/familiar.html#_cat))  
Grants his master a +3 bonus on Stealth checks.  
If a familiar is dismissed, lost, or dies, it can be replaced 1 week later though a specialised ritual that costs 200gp per wizard level. The ritual takes 8 hours to complete.  
HIT POINTS: 20 HIT DICE: 6  
SIZE: Tiny REACH: 0ft SPEED: 30ft  
STR 3[-4], DEX 15[+2], CON 8[-1], INT 7[-2], WIS 12[+1], CHA 7[-2]  
ATTACK:  
BAB: +3 ATTACK: BITE +5 (1d3-4), CLAWS[x2] +5 (1d2-4)  
CMB: +3  
DEFENCE:  
AC: 16 (Natural Armour +2)  
CMD: 11 (15 vs. trip)  
SAVES: FORT 1, REF 6, WILL 5  
SKILLS:  
Climb 6, Perception 5, Stealth 14 (use master's skill ranks if better)  
FEATS:  
[Weapon Finesse](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_weapon-finesse)  
SPECIAL ABILITIES:  
[Low-Light Vision](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/glossary.html#_low-light-vision), [Scent](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/glossary.html#_scent), [Empathic Link](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/wizard.html#_familiar-empathic-link), [Improved Evasion](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/wizard.html#_familiar-improved-evasion), [Share Spells](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/wizard.html#_familiar-share-spells), [Deliver Touch Spells](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/wizard.html#_familiar-deliver-touch-spells)

ARCANE SCHOOL: [ILLUSION](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/wizard.html#_illusion-school)  
OPPOSITION SCHOOLS: [NECROMANCY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/wizard.html#_necromancy-school), [DIVINATION](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/wizard.html#_divination-school)  
A wizard that chooses to specialise in one school of magic must select two opposition schools whose spells are harder for them to cast, but they gain the ability to cast an additional spell from their school each day and related school powers.  
1\. EXTENDED ILLUSIONS [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY]  
2\. BLINDING RAY [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (5 USES/DAY)

FEAT: [SCRIBE SCROLL](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_scribe-scroll)  
The character can create magic scrolls.

FEAT: [ALERTNESS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_alertness) [REQUIRES: FAMILIAR WITHIN ARM'S REACH]  
The character often notices things that others might miss when her familiar is nearby.

[SNEAK ATTACK [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY] (+3d6 Precision Damage)](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/rogue.html#_sneak-attack)  
A rogue can strike a vital spot for more damage whenever their foe is in a vulnerable position.

[TRAPFINDING](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/rogue.html#_trapfinding) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
The rogue adds 1/2 her level to Perception skill checks made to locate traps and to Disable Device skill checks (minimum +1). A rogue can use Disable Device to disarm magic traps.

[TRAP SENSE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/rogue.html#_trap-sense-rogue) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY] (+1)  
At 3rd level, a rogue gains an intuitive sense that alerts her to danger from traps.

ROGUE TALENTS  
[OFFENSIVE DEFENCE](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/classes/core-classes/rogue/rogue-talents/paizo---rogue-talents/offensive-defense-ex) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
When a rogue with this talent hits a creature with a melee sneak attack that deals sneak attack damage, the rogue gains greater defence against that foe.

[RANGED LEGERDEMAIN](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/prestigeClasses/arcaneTrickster.html#ranged-legerdemain) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY]  
The arcane trickster can use Disable Device and Sleight of Hand at a range of 30 feet.

IMPROMPTU SNEAK ATTACK [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY)  
Beginning at 3rd level, once per day an arcane trickster can declare one melee or ranged attack she makes to be a sneak attack (the target can be no more than 30 feet distant if the impromptu sneak attack is a ranged attack).

SPELLS  
LEVEL 0 [4 Prepared, At Will] Save DC 12  
+(ILLU) GHOST SOUND – Figment sounds.  
+(TRANS) JOLT – Deal 1d3 Electrical damage with a ranged touch attack.  
+(TRANS) MESSAGE – Whisper conversation at distance.  
+(UNIV) PRESTIDIGITATION – Performs minor tricks.

WIZARD CANTRIPS KNOWN: [RESISTANCE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/resistance.html#_resistance), [ACID SPLASH](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/acidSplash.html#_acid-splash), [DRENCH](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/rare-cantrips), [DAZE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/daze.html#_daze), [BREEZE](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/rare-cantrips), [DANCING LIGHTS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/dancingLights.html#_dancing-lights), [FLARE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/flare.html#_flare), [LIGHT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/light.html#_light), [PENUMBRA](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/rare-cantrips), [RAY OF FROST](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/rayOfFrost.html#_ray-of-frost), [SCOOP](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/rare-cantrips), [SPARK](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/spells/spark.html#_spark-), [GHOST SOUND](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/ghostSound.html#_ghost-sound), [HAUNTED FEY ASPECT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/spells/hauntedFeyAspect.html#_haunted-fey-aspect), [JOLT](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/rare-cantrips), [MAGE HAND](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/mageHand.html#_mage-hand), [MENDING](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/mending.html#_mending), [MESSAGE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/message.html#_message), [OPEN/CLOSE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/openClose.html#_open-close), [ROOT](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/rare-cantrips), [ARCANE MARK](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/arcaneMark.html#_arcane-mark), [PRESTIDIGITATION](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/prestidigitation.html#_prestidigitation)

LEVEL 1 [4/Day+1 Prepared] Save DC 14  
SCHOOL SPELL (ILLUSION):  
+(ILLU)VANISH – As invisibility for 1 round/level (5 max).  
+(ILLU)SHADOW WEAPON - Create a quasi-real masterwork weapon.  
+(CONJ) MAGE ARMOUR – Gives subject +4 armour bonus.  
++(ENCH)CHARM PERSON – Makes one person your friend.

WIZARD FIRST-LEVEL SPELLS KNOWN: [MAGE ARMOUR](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/mageArmor.html#_mage-armor), [DISGUISE SELF](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/disguiseSelf.html#_disguise-self), [ILLUSION OF CALM](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/spells/illusionOfCalm.html#_illusion-of-calm), [MAGIC AURA](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/magicAura.html#_magic-aura), [SHADOW WEAPON](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spells/shadowWeapon.html#_shadow-weapon), [VANISH](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/spells/vanish.html#_vanish), [CHARM PERSON](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/charmPerson.html#_charm-person)

LEVEL 2 [4/Day+1 Prepared] Save DC 15  
SCHOOL SPELL (ILLUSION):  
+(ILLU) MISDIRECTION - Misleads divinations for 1 creature or object.  
++++(ILLU) INVISIBILITY - Subject is invisible for 1 min./level or until it attacks.

WIZARD SECOND-LEVEL SPELLS KNOWN: [MISDIRECTION](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/misdirection.html#_misdirection), [INVISIBILITY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/invisibility.html#_invisibility)

LEVEL 3 [2/Day+1 Prepared] Save DC 16  
SCHOOL SPELL (ILLUSION):  
++(ILLU)DISPLACEMENT - Attacks miss subject 50% of the time.  
+(ILLU)INVISIBILITY SPHERE - Makes everyone within 10 ft. invisible.

WIZARD THIRD-LEVEL SPELLS KNOWN: [DISPLACEMENT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/displacement.html#displacement), [INVISIBILITY SPHERE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/coreRulebook/spells/invisibilitySphere.html#invisibility-sphere)

* * *

DIRK STRIDER [BARD](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/bard.html#_bard) ([SOUND STRIKER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spellcastingClassOptions/bard.html#_sound-striker-\(archetype\))) 9  
NEUTRAL GOOD

TL:DR – Dirk can build magic armour and weapons. His godmark can protect him against death spells and effects. His performances can inspire greatness.

[ ](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/7kmvohm4luab6po/Dirk%20Strider.png?dl=0)

BASIC STATISTICS  
GENDER: Male  
HAIR/EYES: Blonde hair, orange eyes  
HOMELAND: City of Porthaven (No Fixed Abode)/The Greenweald Forest Region (No Fixed Abode)  
DEITY: The Prince of Heart  
LANGUAGES: Common, Celestial, High Elven, Dwarven  
RACE: Aasimar

ATTRIBUTES  
STRENGTH: 14[+2]  
DEXTERITY: 12[+1]  
CONSTITUTION: 10[+0]  
INTELLIGENCE: 14[+2]  
WISDOM: 10[+0]  
CHARISMA: 18[+4]

HIT POINTS: 52/52  
HERO POINTS: 2/3  
INITIATIVE: +1  
BASE SPEED/S: 30ft (land)

ARMOUR CLASS [AC]: 14  
TOUCH AC: 11  
FLAT-FOOTED AC: 13

BASE ATTACK BONUS [BAB]: +7/+2  
BASIC MELEE ATTACK: +8/+3  
BASIC RANGED ATTACK: +7/+2  
COMBAT MANEUVER BONUS [CMB]: +8/+3  
COMBAT MANEUVER DEFENCE [CMD]: 19

SAVES  
FORTITUDE: +3  
REFLEX: +7  
WILL: +6

[WEAPONS/ATTACKS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/combat/easternArmorAndWeapons.html#_table-eastern-weapons-exotic)  
[MASTERWORK KATANA](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_katana) – This is a [deadly](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/combat/easternArmorAndWeapons.html#_deadly) weapon.  
[DAGGER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/armsAndArmor/weapons.html#_dagger) \- Can be thrown, range 10ft.

EQUIPMENT - [CARRYING CAPACITY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/additionalRules.html#_carrying-capacity) (STR 14)

EQUIPMENT - ITEM SLOTS  
CLOTHING: ENTERTAINER'S OUTFIT + MASK  
This set of flashy- perhaps even gaudy- clothes is for entertaining. While the outfit looks whimsical, its practical design lets the character tumble, dance, walk a tightrope, or just run if the audience turns ugly. The mask is made from painted, varnished wood and cloth; it is ornate, gaudy even- a cheaper and more practical imitation of what a nobleman might wear to a masquerade ball.

ARMOUR: MASTERWORK STUDDED LEATHER  
+3 armour bonus, +5 max DEX bonus, -0 Armour Check Penalty, 15% Arcane Spell Failure Chance, LIGHT  
SPECIAL: Masterwork armour has an Armour Check Penalty one lower than normal and can be enchanted.

HANDS: [GLOVES OF RECONNAISSANCE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/wondrousItems/hands.html#_gloves-of-reconnaissance)  
Each of these fingerless worked leather gloves look as though they have seen heavy use, and often bear the stains or scent of grass or wet mud. On command, the wearer can use the gloves to see and hear though solid material no more than 15 feet thick by placing both hands on that material. The gloves can be used for 10 rounds each day. The rounds need not be consecutive.  


SLOTLESS: [SCABBARD OF VIGOR](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateEquipment/wondrousItems/slotless.html#_scabbard-of-vigor)  
Once per day, as part of the action of drawing forth the weapon held by a scabbard of vigor, the wearer can order it to endow the weapon with an enhancement bonus on attack and damage rolls. The duration of the effect depends on the desired enhancement bonus for the weapon.  


EQUIPMENT - POSSESSIONS  
Masterwork Katana 6lbs, Masterwork Studded Leather 20lbs, Clothing (Mask, 3gp) 1lb, Gloves of Reconnaissance, Scabbard of Vigor 3lbs, Dagger 1lb, Waterskin 4lbs

>BACKPACK, COMMON 2lbs (Capacity 60lbs)  
Tent (Small, 1 person) 20lbs, Bedroll 5lbs, Kit (Juggler's) 10lbs, Rations (Wandermeal) [x14] [Eating this tough, dried cake for over a week without other nutrients causes the eater to feel ill] 7lbs

>POUCH, BELT 0.5lbs (Capacity 10lbs)  
Flint and Steel, Whetstone 1lb

>CARAVAN (Capacity 200lbs, Can produce mundane items up to 25gp in value)  
Maplehoof (Heavy Horse)

TOTAL 60.5lb (16.5lbs without backpack)

EQUIPMENT - MONEY  
13CP, 6SP, 7GP, 0PP  
OTHER:

SKILLS  
TRAINED  
+APPRAISE +8(3), +BLUFF +16(9), +CRAFT(SCULPTURES) +16(9), +CRAFT(WEAPONS) +14(9), +DIPLOMACY +10(3), HANDLE ANIMAL +5(1), +INTIMIDATE +10(3), +KNOWLEDGE LOCAL +8(2), +PERCEPTION +8(5), +PERFORM(SHARP RHYMES) +16(9), +PERFORM(SWEET MOVES) +16(9), +SENSE MOTIVE +12(9)

UNTRAINED  
+ACROBATICS +1(+7)*, +CLIMB +1*, +CRAFT +2, +DISGUISE +4, +ESCAPE ARTIST +1*, HEAL +0, +KNOWLEDGE ARCANA +3, +KNOWLEDGE DUNGEONEERING +3, +KNOWLEDGE ENGINEERING +3, +KNOWLEDGE GEOGRAPHY +3, +KNOWLEDGE HISTORY +3, +KNOWLEDGE NATURE +3, +KNOWLEDGE NOBILITY +3, +KNOWLEDGE PLANES +3, +KNOWLEDGE RELIGION +3, +PERFORM +3, RIDE +1*, +STEALTH +1*, SURVIVAL +0, SWIM +1*  
(FLY +1*)

*Armour Check Penalty: Skill at –0 due to armour worn.  
+Class Skill

FEATS  
[SPELLSONG [REQUIRES: CHA 13, BARDIC PERFORMANCE, 1st-LEVEL SPELLCASTING]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/ultimateMagicFeats.html#_spellsong)  
The character can blend the power of his performance and spellcasting.

[LINGERING PERFORMANCE [REQUIRES: BARDIC PERFORMANCE CLASS FEATURE]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/advancedFeats.html#_lingering-performance)  
The effects of the character's bardic performance carry on, even after he has stopped performing.

[MASTER CRAFTSMAN (CRAFT: SCULPTURES) [REQUIRES: 5 RANKS IN ANY CRAFT OR PROFESSION SKILL]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#_master-craftsman)  
The character's superior crafting skills allow him to create simple magic items.

[CRAFT WONDROUS ITEM [REQUIRES: CASTER LEVEL 3RD]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#craft-wondrous-item)  
The character can create and repair wondrous items, a type of magic item.

[CRAFT MAGIC ARMS AND ARMOR [REQUIRES: CASTER LEVEL 5TH]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/feats.html#craft-magic-arms-and-armor)  
The character can create magic armor, shields, and weapons.

[RACIAL ABILITIES: AASIMAR](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advancedRaceGuide/featuredRaces/aasimars.html#_aasimar-racial-traits)  
AASIMARS DO NOT COUNT AS OUTSIDERS FOR THE PURPOSE OF THIS SETTING.  
[DAYLIGHT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/daylight.html#_daylight) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) – Aasimars can touch an object and cause it to shed a brilliant light which drives back even magical darkness.  
LANGUAGES – Aasimars begin play speaking Common and Celestial. Aasimars with high Intelligence scores can choose any of the following bonus languages: Draconic, Dwarven, High Elven, Gnome, Halfling, and Sylvan.

SPECIAL ABILITIES  
GODMARKED  
WEAPON PROFICIENCY (KATANA)  
[DESTRUCTIVE SMITE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/cleric.html#_destruction-domain) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (7 USES/DAY)– The character can do more damage on a single melee attack, dependent on his character level.   
[DEATHWATCH](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/deathwatch.html#_deathwatch) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY](4 USES/DAY) - The character can determine the condition of creatures near death within the spell's range.  
[GENTLE REPOSE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/gentleRepose.html#_gentle-repose) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY](3 USES/DAY) - Preserves one corpse from decay for 1 day/character level.  
[ANIMATE DEAD](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/animateDead.html#animate-dead) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY](2 USES/DAY) - This spell turns corpses into undead skeletons or zombies that obey the character's spoken commands.  
[DEADLY WEATHER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/coreClasses/cleric.html#deadly-weather) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (8 ROUNDS/DAY) – The character can unleash a furious call to the heavens, summoning forth an everchanging storm of destruction.  
[DEATH WARD](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/deathWard.html#death-ward) [SPELL-LIKE ABILITY] (1 USE/DAY) - The subject gains a +4 morale bonus on saves against all death spells and magical death effects.

CLASS FEATURES  
WEAPON AND ARMOUR PROFICIENCY: BARD  
A bard is proficient with all simple weapons, plus the longsword, rapier, sap, shortsword, shortbow and whip. Bards are also proficient with light armour and shields (except tower shields). A bard can cast bard spells while wearing light armour and using a shield without incurring the normal arcane spell failure chance. Like any other arcane spellcaster, a bard wearing medium or heavy armour incurs a chance of arcane spell failure is the spell in question has a somatic component. A multiclass bard still incurs the normal arcane spell failure chance for arcane spells received from other classes.

BARDIC KNOWLEDGE [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
A bard has a little knowledge in all areas, and learns more as he becomes more experienced.

[BARDIC PERFORMANCE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/bard.html#_bardic-performance) (24 ROUNDS/DAY)  
A bard can create magical effects around him, so long as he is able to keep performing. He can make use of the following abilities when he performs, so long as he can be seen and/or heard by those he wishes to affect.  
1\. COUNTERSONG [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY]  
2\. DISTRACTION [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY]  
3\. FASCINATE [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY] (TARGETS 1)  
4\. INSPIRE COURAGE (+2) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY]  
5\. [WEIRD WORDS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spellcastingClassOptions/bard.html#_weird-words) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY]  
6\. [DIRGE OF DOOM](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/bard.html#dirge-of-doom) [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY]  
7\. INSPIRE GREATNESS [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY]

[VERSATILE PERFORMANCE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/bard.html#_versatile-performance) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY] (Perform [Sweet Moves], Perform [Sharp Rhymes])  
At 2nd level, the bard can choose one type of Perform skill. He can use his bonus in that skill in place of his bonus in associated skills. Perform (Sweet Moves) can substitute for: Acrobatics, Fly. Perform (Sharp Rhymes) can substitute for: Bluff, Sense Motive.

[WELL-VERSED](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/bard.html#_well-versed) [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]  
At 2nd level, the bard becomes resistant to the bardic performance of others, and to sonic effects in general.

[WORDSTRIKE [SUPERNATURAL ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spellcastingClassOptions/bard.html#_wordstrike) 1D4+7 (1/2 for living creatures)  
At 3rd level, the sound striker can direct bursts of sonic power in his words, damaging creatures or objects.

[LORE MASTER [EXTRAORDINARY ABILITY]](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/classes/bard.html#_lore-master) 1/DAY  
At 5th level, the bard becomes a master of lore and can perform any Knowledge skill check he has experience in with ease.

SPELLS  
LEVEL 0 [At Will] Save DC 13  
[DETECT MAGIC](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/detectMagic.html#_detect-magic), [MENDING](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/mending.html#_mending), [MESSAGE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/message.html#_message), [PRESTIDIGITATION](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/prestidigitation.html#_prestidigitation), [SIFT](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/spells/sift.html#_sift), [UNWITTING ALLY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/spells/unwittingAlly.html#_unwitting-ally)

LEVEL 1 [6/Day] Save DC 14  
[CHORD OF SHARDS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spells/chordOfShards.html#_chord-of-shards), [CURE LIGHT WOUNDS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/cureLightWounds.html#_cure-light-wounds), [MOMENT OF GREATNESS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateCombat/spells/momentOfGreatness.html#_moment-of-greatness), [TIMELY INSPIRATION](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/advanced/spells/timelyInspiration.html#_timely-inspiration), [GREASE](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/grease.html#grease)

LEVEL 2 [5/Day] Save DC 16  
[ALLEGRO](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spells/allegro.html#_allegro), [BLADED DASH](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/all-spells/b/bladed-dash), [MASTERWORK TRANSFORMATION](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/ultimateMagic/spells/masterworkTransformation.html#_masterwork-transformation), [SHATTER](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/shatter.html#_shatter)

LEVEL 3 [4/Day] Save DC 17  
[MARTIAL MARIONETTE](http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/all-spells/m/martial-marionette), [SEE INVISIBILITY](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/seeInvisibility.html#see-invisibility), [BLINK](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/spells/blink.html#blink), [GLIBNESS](http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/coreRulebook/spells/glibness.html#glibness)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Level nine!
> 
> I always forget how long these chapters take to write up. It's getting ridiculous. I need to make a spreadsheet or something... does anyone know if OpenOffice supports macros?


	148. ==> Jade: Make Some Plans

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Hero point votes:**  
>  NO VOTES CAST YET
> 
>  **Current Hero Points:**  
>  John 2/5, Rose 2/5, ~~Dave 3/3,~~ Jade 2/3  
>  Karkat 2/5, ~~Gamzee 3/3,~~ Terezi 3/5  
>  ~~Sollux 3/3, Aradia 3/3, Kanaya 5/5~~  
>  Jane 2/5, Jake 4/5, ~~Roxy 3/3,~~ Dirk 2/3

## ==> Jade: Make Some Plans

It's dark in the roundhouse, and quiet. Too quiet.

You suppress a small giggle at your own dramatic internal monologue, but it _is_ technically true. Outside there's the laughter and chatter of the tiefling runaways, and beyond that the distant roar of a city larger than all the settlements on the Stormwrack Coast combined. In here, there's nothing but you and Bec, soft breaths and footsteps falling into dust-speckled silence. Log walls don't block sound that well- your guess is magic, but your education doesn't really point you any better than that.

After you emerged from your extra-planar encounter, Sollux mumbled some excuse and vanished off with his new book. You figure that he probably needs some time to himself after the shock he got in there. That's why you're taking Porrim's advice and checking out some of the things stored in the roundhouse.

You run your fingers over a rack of absurdly large hammers. The longer you spend in here, the less it reminds you of a museum or armoury, and the more it reminds you of a junkroom. It's like whoever left this stuff here was expecting to come back for it, and then just forgot. You spend far too long standing in front of a complete suit of articulated plate armour in exactly your size. You could never wear it, of course- the worked metal would interfere with your connection to the forces of the natural world even if you could make the right casting gestures- but the point is moot. The armour is... not dead, inert. Too heavy to move, with a gentle hum of dormancy to it. Given the weight, it's probably meant to move like a golem and assist the wearer, which is frankly fascinating. Moving away from it feels like loss.

Everything in here is either wonderous, ridiculous, or both. And not one bit of it is of use to you.

“What now?” you wonder aloud, sitting down next to Bec. That leaves you resting up against a collection of- well, you're not sure what they are, but they're really shitty and have loads of weirdly fuzzy jagged edges. You scoot forwards a little so they don't cut you. Bec stares at you and gives a lupine sneeze.

You sigh. It's hard to put into words the restless feeling in your stomach. “I just feel like we aren't getting anywhere.” Bec tilts his head, and you take it as encouragement to go on. “Back when I was trying to find Jake, I knew what I was doing. And then, when the plan was to get to Porthaven, that was clear too. But ever since we-” You stop, consider the timings, then sigh again. “Ever since we ran away from the city, it's like we've been drifting. And we have, haven't we?”

Bec chuffs.

“I guess it's time to stop running away,” you admit. The words make you feel a little better, but not by much. It's easy to decide you need a goal, harder to work out what that should be. Everything's just so _different_ now! “We came here to find Sollux's maybe-Dad, so we should do that, and we should find Sarona, Henzar and Ursus as soon as possible. But maybe we should be trying to find Jake and Aradia too? Or John and Jane?” You frown, thinking. “Karkat and the others?” You plant your hands behind you and lean back. “We're the gods,” you say, aloud. “And we need to save the world.”

Bec resettles himself, then starts to industriously lick his genitals, one leg high in the air. It's weirdly reassuring.

Now that you're actually thinking about it, though, you're finding a lot of holes in what you do know. “What are we saving the world from?” you wonder. Then you shoot a glance at Bec. “I mean, the undead, obviously, but why are they suddenly appearing? Is this an ordinary supernatural phenomenon or an enemy?” You frown, deep in thought. “Enemy,” you decide. You're a druid, so you would definitely have been told if there was some sort of bi-millenial conjunction with the negative energy plane due. “So we need to know who our enemy is, and what they want, because covering the world in walking corpses and disembodied souls is gross and pointless.”

Bec pauses in his licking to stare at you briefly before continuing.

“Then we need to find the others- no,” you correct yourself. “We need to get in touch with them, because if this is happening everywhere, they might know something we don't. Actually, that's not a bad start on the enemy question, is it?” You tap your fingers thoughtfully on the ground. “And we need to get out of this city at some point. Probably. Although I kind of want to do that anyway!”

There. _Find missing persons, Contact your fellow gods_ and _escape the underground Tiefling nightmare city_. That's three concrete goals and more than enough to be getting on with. Feeling more cheerful, you push yourself up off the ground and start trotting towards the exit.

Just before you reach the door, something catches your eye. You fish into a discarded crate and push aside a tangle of yarn to uncover it; carefully folded and stored under a canvas cover. It unfolds when you lift it out of the box and you stare into the night sky, captured as cloth. That's not a metaphor, either. The dress is long and figure-hugging and if you weren't touching it with your actual fingers you'd swear it was a portal onto a plane of endless starry night. Even though you're feeling it right now, the actual texture slips away from you the harder you try to sense it. Brilliant green flashes across the creases as you roll it up. It tugs at you, something inside answering.

You're about to put it in your Bag of Holding when you realise that the dress might be an extra-dimensional space. It's not good to put those inside each other, so to be sure, you tuck it into one of your belt pouches. It doesn't weigh much, or even take up much space once you've folded it. The fabric of the universe is pretty lightweight, you guess.

Then you whistle Bec back from the aeons-old picnic basket he's sniffing at and head back out into the ancient valley.

Luress, your one-horned, red-eyed guide from earlier, is there to meet you. “You spoke to them, then.”

“Yep.” You settle on the hillside next to her. From here you have a good view of the red-leafed forest. “How do those trees grow down here? The light-”

Luress chuckles. “They're Alternian trees, girl. They prefer the dark.”

That just opens up more questions, but you guess Luress isn't a tree expert, which is fine. You're not an expert in the forces that shaped the world. Or not any more, at least.

“If I needed to find someone here, or get a message out of the city, how would I do that?” you ask instead.

Luress frowns. “Finding someone I can help you with, for sure. Getting a message out, though? The Condesce doesn't allow it.” She sneers. “Can't have the young ones being warned before they end up stuck here, can we?”

You shake your head. “Ugh, none of this makes sense!” She stares at you blankly, so you sigh. “Look, baby tieflings have to come from somewhere. Adult tieflings, right?”

Luress nods.

“So how come all the kids are out _there-”_ You wave your hands skywards. “-when all the adults are stuck in _here!?”_

Luress' eyes light up. “Ah. You don't know about the Mother Grub. Should have guessed, with you being a daylighter.”

“Mother- you're eusocial?” You can't help but be a little excited. You knew it wasn't exclusive to insects, but you didn't realise any advanced, intelligent species had the model. “But wait, that still doesn't explain how the offspring are so far from the nes- uh, city.”

Oh my gods _the city is a nest_ you are so excited right now.

“Adults give their material to the Imperial Drones, who take it to the Mother Grub, half a world away” Luress explains. “She and more drones care for the eggs until they hatch, then the little grubs are adopted by lusii. The lusii keep the children safe until they reach the city.” She sighs. “Those that do, anyhow. I remember being so excited to come here... I wish I'd stayed on the surface with my lusus.”

You remember the cave of sleeping lusii and your chest aches. Bereft of other options, you rest a hand on her shoulder in sympathy. It's probably not the best time to ask where the Imperial Drones go- there has to be a way out they use, and a really good reason why no-one else uses it. You can figure that out later.

“You said you can find people for us?” you said, instead.

Luress chuckles, her voice cracking again. “Oh, I know people who know people,” she says, mysteriously. “Who do you want found?”

“There were three other people who came down here with us,” you tell her. “Two druids and a wizard, I think? Henzar was a tiefling, but Ursus was human and Sarona was aasimar, so they should stand out.”

Luress nods. “I'll put the word out. It's not been long. They might be lucky- it happens.”

“Also, we're looking for another tiefling,” you say. “He's the reason we came here in the first place, actually. Marius Wordweaver. He's a wizard, and he looks a bit like Sollux, we think.”

Luress nods sagely. “I see. I'll ask around, but if he's been here a while there's a chance he hasn't made it, especially if he's yellow-blooded.”

You scowl at the towering spires of the city. “Why is it like that here?”

“History.” Luress sighs. “And biology. It's hard to beat people who outlive you.”

“Outlive?”

“The bluer your blood, the longer you live,” Luress explains. “And I don't mean by just a handful of years. They say the Condesce has been here longer than the city itself.” She sighs again. “Legacy just ain't as reliable as immortality.”

“Oh.” You think on it a little more. “There must be something-”

“If there is, we won't get to it today.” Luress pushes herself up, bones clicking. “You'll be wanting to find your friend, I'd wager.”

“If he's okay with it,” you say, the memories Sollux accidentally showed you flashing through your thoughts. If it was you, you think you'd want to hide under a rock and never come out right now.

“You'd have to ask him that,” Luress says, and starts off down the hill until you end up at the foot of a spire. It's a small, squat sort of spire, but a spire nonetheless. Sollux is sitting on the step outside the door, flicking through his new gods-given book with a frown of determination.

Luress hangs back out of earshot as you approach. Sollux glares up at you.

“What?” he asks.

“Luress is going to ask around about the others, and Marius Wordweaver.”

“Thure.” He goes back to his book in silent dismissal.

“Are you okay?” you ask.

“Yeth.”

“Really?”

“No.” He glares at you. “But you can't fixth it, and neither can I, tho how about we thut up about it?”

“Okay.” You sit on the step next to him. “Good book?”

“I think tho.” He sounds distracted, still reading as he speaks. “I'll need to thtudy it thome more.”

“That's good, though.”

“Yeah.” He looks up at you again, as if he's just looking at you for the first time. “Jade?”

“Yeah?”

“I really fucking hate thith plathe.”

You scrunch up your nose and nod. “Yeah, me too.”

“No, I mean I really hate it.” He glares into the middle distance. “The more I think about it, the more I think thith thitty thity ith the cauthe of bathically everything that thuckth in my life.”

“Well, maybe once we're done saving the world, we can come back and change things,” you say, brightly. “I mean, we are gods, right? So maybe we can decree it or something.”

“Uth being godth ith altho a thteaming pile of horthe manure,” Sollux tells you. “Although it doeth exthplain why the world thuckth puth-infected athholeth.”

“Gross!”

“But true,” says Sollux, as smug as if he just won an argument instead of just being gross and nasty. You shove him gently in the shoulder, and he shoves you back, and you think that means you're friends.

It's a warm feeling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What to do when you don't know what to make characters to do: make the characters work out what to do for you!
> 
> And as it turned out, they actually did have a goal and everything, it was just so long ago I _fucking forgot_.
> 
> I need to write more recaps.


	149. ==> Jake: Learn What Happened To Your Friends

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Hero point votes:**  
>  Jade 4  
> Bec 1
> 
> **Current Hero Points:**  
>  John 2/5, Rose 2/5, ~~Dave 3/3,~~ Jade 2/3  
>  Karkat 2/5, ~~Gamzee 3/3,~~ Terezi 3/5  
>  ~~Sollux 3/3, Aradia 3/3, Kanaya 5/5~~  
>  Jane 2/5, Jake 4/5, ~~Roxy 3/3,~~ Dirk 2/3

## ==> Jake: Learn What Happened To Your Friends

Pun-Pun is a taciturn sort of fellow, as you soon work out when your every attempt at conversation is met with irritable grunts and tutting. You can't bring yourself to feel too put out by it, though, not when one of the first things he does after feeding you both is produce a warm woollen shirt from one of his many bags and hand it to you. You waste no time slipping it on, and find it to be extraordinarily comfortable and well-fitting. The kobold shakes off your thanks with a wave of one clawed hand. The small snake draped around his neck flickers its tongue at you.

“Didn't like the view,” Pun-Pun mutters, before trailing off into mumbling about idiots and elves. You drop back to walk beside Aradia, feeling self-conscious.

“Is it just me, or does he have a real knack for making you feel a fool?”

Aradia tilts her hand in the air. “A little of both?”

You huff. “Wonderful.”

“He's right, though,” she says, quietly. “We shouldn't have entered the temple- we weren't in any fit state for adventuring!”

You study your guide, striding through the maze without so much as pausing to make chalk marks. It's like he knows where he's going already, although he occasionally pauses to silently consult with the snake. “Still, on the bright side, he must have a way back to civilisation.”

Aradia brightens. “You're right! If he can help us off this island then we can make our way to the Arcane College and meet Sollux there!”

“Hopefully Jade's still with him.” It's your turn to be maudlin. There's just so much that could have gone wrong since you've been separated. “All those undead, it's almost enough to make a chap miss the drow.”

“If you're making plans where I help, maybe think to ask first?” Pun-Pun snaps.

“Sorry!” the two of you chorus. Then Aradia adds; “But if you would be so kind-”

“Well, yes.” Pun-Pun glances back and rolls his eyes at you both. “Rude, still.”

“Thank you!” You jog up beside him again, but he doesn't deign to look up. “It's not that we mean to put you out, but we are really rather stuck for options.”

“Not really out of my way,” says Pun-Pun. “Actually, this Arcane College might be a laugh. Want me to take you straight there when we're done?”

Aradia catches up on his other side. “Really?”

“No, I'm fucking joking.” Pun-Pun glares at her, and the snake hisses a little. “I mean what I say. If you're going to be surprised at every little thing I say, I don't know how you're going to cope with the wider world. It's a messy place. This one especially.”

“Well, it is a bloody long way-” you start to say, then correct yourself. “Wait, what do you mean, _this one especially?”_

Pun-Pun grins this time, toothily. “I came a _long_ way to get here, kiddo. When you've been around as much as I have, sight-seeing is the only thing worth the bother.”

You shake your head, certain you can't have heard right. “You're... sight-seeing?”

“Yes.”

“In an abandoned magical maze ruin?”

“Yes.”

Aradia stares at Pun-Pun, slack-jawed. “I want your job.”

Pun-Pun snickers. “You're a bit late and the wrong species. And too dim.”

“Hey!” You protest aloud. Aradia just frowns.

“What?” Pun-Pun shrugs easily, moving the bags hanging off him like they weigh nothing. “Far as I'm concerned, everyone's stupid. Nothing personal.”

“Well, I think you're being rude now!” Aradia tells him.

“I can afford it,” says Pun-Pun. He reaches up and the snake winds around his fingers. “So. You kids sound like you've had some wild times. Tell me about that.”

There's not much else to do down here, so you do just that, talking through everything that's happened since you got lost in the Deep Caverns. Aradia chimes in with the adventures she had with your sister before you met. By unspoken accord you both leave out any mention of your Godmarks, although it does leave a few odd holes in the story. Pun-Pun listens attentively.

“Well, good luck to the lot of you,” he says, when you're done. “Sounds like you're right up the midden even without getting stranded here.”

“Yes, thank you for that cheery assessment,” you say, scowling.

Pun-Pun continues as if you'd never spoken. “Look, if you're worried about your friends, I can do a few divinations for you.”

Everything suddenly feels much quieter and stiller, which is quite the accomplishment in a giant bloody silent maze.

_“Thank you!”_ Aradia all but shrieks. Pun-Pun gargles as she grabs him into a hug. “Thank you, thank you, thank you!”

“I rather think that's a yes,” you say, grinning as she drops him. “From both of us, actually.”

“Alright, alright, don't make me regret it.” Pun-Pun checks on the snake then shuffles away from Aradia, presumably to avoid any more abrupt embraces. “Let's just get to the treasure first.”

“Is it far?” you ask, perhaps a touch too eager.

“No,” says Pun-Pun, leading you around a corner. You stop and stare; ahead of you the ground falls away, a single slim bridge leading across a dark, bottomless chasm to a central dais. All around you more passageways open up- and by all around, you mean all around. There's a mirrored bridge arching overhead, floors where there should be walls and ceiling, tunnels stretching up and across as well as away.

It looks, frankly, as if someone folded up the space in here and didn't quite think about where everything should be going.

As spindly as the bridge looks, when you're up close there's room for you to walk two abreast. You don't, instead following in single file with Pun-Pun in the lead and you in the rear. You insist on that; for all that she's tough, Aradia's just not as durable as you are.

As you get closer to the central platform, you can see chests piled up on the dais, surrounding a central plinth. For all that it must have taken some seriously powerful magic to make this place, it's every bit as grey and uninspiring as the rest of the maze. Whoever created it was clearly more of an arcanist than an architect.

“Hang back,” says Pun-Pun, warding you both off with a skinny arm.

“We're not going to steal your treasure,” you say, a little put out.

Pun-Pun snorts. “Obviously not.” He waves his other arm, and several of the chests burst into screaming flames. Their lids burst open into toothy maws; one sprouts legs and leaps into the chasm, the rest crumbling to small piles of ash.

“Fucking Mimics,” says Pun-Pun. Another wave of his arm and light flares across the dais in spluttering bursts that remind you of exploding black powder. “There. That should be all the traps. Just watch your step and don't touch anything.”

You hadn't even considered traps. Aradia is looking at Pun-Pun with new wariness; she drops back to stand beside you as the kobold starts pulling chests open.

“Jake, I've never even heard of magic that can do that,” she whispers.

You watch as Pun-Pun lifts entire chests, squints at the gleaming, golden, heavy contents, then tips them into pouches that look far too small. “Let's just stay put and not annoy him?”

Pun-Pun's methodical trail of emptied chests finally ends at the central plinth. He picks something up from it, squints again, then turns and throws it at you. You almost fumble the catch, but manage to snag what turns out to be an amulet by the chain before it plummets into the void. Pun-Pun nods, satisfied.

“You're going to want that later,” he says.

“We are?” You lift the object and look at it, puzzled. The pendant on the amulet is broken, but it looks as if it was broken before being hung on the chain.

Aradia all but snatches it from your hands. “Jake! Do you know what this is?”

“No?”

“This is a piece of the Amulet of the Labyrinth!” She's grinning ear to ear. “Sollux has a piece too, from the caves near Golgesi! If we can find the third piece, we can get into the greatest dungeon ever built!”

“We... can?” You don't mention that you're not entirely sure why you would want to do that.

“Wait!” Aradia turns back to Pun-Pun. “Does that mean this maze was built by the Labyrinth Maker?”

Pun-Pun shrugs. “Yeah, whatever. You kids want to know what happened to your friends?”

“YES!” you both shout at once.

Pun-Pun walks over and lays a hand on your arm. “Okay. Jake. You... huh. Okay.” He steps back, shakes his head, then puts his hand on your arm again. The snake around his neck raises its head to stare at you intently. “Your birth parents are safe,” he says, eventually. “They made it to the City of Light, which is about the worst place in the world for undead to try and follow them. So no worries there. The Quartzkin clan is having some trouble with drow, but nothing they can't handle; the clans are organising against the undead, looks like, so your parents are busy preparing for that.” He snorts. “Your sister wants to go out and fight.”

“Sounds like Bryn,” you agree.

“Your brother John is travelling north with the Oracle of Light to the Starspire. There's been some fighting, but it looks like your friends are all fine. Your sister Jane and her companions got chased by undead, but they're in a safe spot now, and... huh, looks like they're in for some interesting times.”

“They got separated?” you say, dismayed.

Pun-Pun shushes you and reaches out for Aradia with his free hand. “Okay. Your friend Kanaya is with Jane, and Sollux is with Jade. They're all fine, although Jade and Sollux have somehow ended up in the City of Shadows. They're going to have trouble leaving, but they're in one piece. For now, at least.”

“The City of Shadows?” Aradia pulls away from him. “Nobody ever comes back from there! You have to help us get them out!”

“I don't have to do jack shit,” says Pun-Pun. “Look, I agreed to get you two out of here, but I'm not your personal ferry service.”

You swallow. The City of Shadows sounds like a bad place, but if that's where Jade and Sollux are, and if they need you... “Well, maybe you could, I don't know, drop us off with our friends instead of the Arcane College?”

Pun-Pun shrugs. “Sure, whatever. I won't be sticking around, though.”

Aradia glares at him. “You-”

“That will be just dandy, thank you!” You cut her off before she can upset the shockingly powerful kobold who happens to be the only one who can help you get to your friends in a timely fashion. “Please, by all means.”

“Right, then.” Pun-Pun offers his arms to you both. “Hold on, you two.”

You grab hold and look to Aradia. She grimly nods and grabs on.

The maze vanishes, and you are gone.

### Suggestions Used:

_Giannis fx 528 -_ aradia/jake: somehow learn exactly what happened to your friends and family

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Exit Pun-Pun, stage left.
> 
> In LODAD, Pun-Pun is actually a visitor from the Forgotten Realms setting, because Pun-Pun _has_ to be from the Forgotten Realms setting in order to meet the prerequisites to be Pun-Pun. Other prerequisites include being a kobold, being a wizard, and having a GM who is asleep on the job.
> 
> Basically, Pun-Pun is a system exploit, not a character build. And you could totally make Chuck Norris jokes about Pun-Pun.


	150. -- PLANES, DREAMBUBBLES AND THE GREAT WHEEL --

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Hero point votes:**  
>  Jade 4  
> Bec 1 (+0.5 for Jade)  
> JADE GAINS ONE HERO POINT!  
> Voting now open for the next Hero Point award: one person will get one after three chapters. 
> 
> **Current Hero Points:**  
>  John 2/5, Rose 2/5, ~~Dave 3/3, Jade 3/3~~  
>  Karkat 2/5, ~~Gamzee 3/3,~~ Terezi 3/5  
>  ~~Sollux 3/3, Aradia 3/3, Kanaya 5/5~~  
>  Jane 2/5, Jake 4/5, ~~Roxy 3/3,~~ Dirk 2/3

## Planes, Dreambubbles, and The Great Wheel

When the world was created, it was not made whole. Woven into the firmament are dozens if not hundreds of overlapping realities, each with their own laws of physics and magic. Whether fundamental aspects of existence or the homes of powerful entities, these planes and demiplanes form the cosmology known as The Great Wheel.

The name is misleading; although artistic renditions may show the planes as circles around circles, and more technical representations could take the form of a planar astrarium, the planes themselves do not have any discernible “shape” from the outside. From the inside, a true plane is infinite in all directions, and a demiplane has a size and shape entirely determined by the forces or entities which created it. The Great Wheel, then, is a theoretical construct; a model created to explain the interconnections between planes and to simplify their relationships for the mortal mind.

In this model, the planes are divided into five types or regions: the Inner Planes, the Material Planes, the Outer Planes, the Transitive Planes, and the Demiplanes. From the centre outwards, they are ordered as follows:  
• The Axis of the Cosmos (Demiplane)  
• The River of Souls (Transitive Plane)  
• The Inner Planes  
• The Ethereal Plane (Transitive Plane)  
• The Material Planes  
• The Astral Plane (Transitive Plane)  
• The Outer Planes  
• The Far Realm (Transitive Plane)  
• The Sky Seeds (Demiplane)

Two more Transitive Planes, the Plane of Shadow and the Temporal Prime, exist coterminous with the Prime Material Plane. In addition, a series of Transitive Demiplanes known as “Mirror Planes” exist distributed across the entirety of The Great Wheel.

The following is a brief guide only, particularly where the Outer Planes are concerned; entire books could be written on each and every one of the planes presented here.

### The Inner Planes

The Inner Planes contain the primal, elemental forces of existence. They tend to be extremely hostile environments for the unprepared traveller, but are the essential wellsprings of creation (and destruction). The only natives of these planes are elementals, beings born of the same undiluted matter as their home.

Note that opposed plane pairs do not touch, as the result would be mutual annihilation. Imagine a matter/anti-matter explosion in the underpinnings of the fabric of spacetime, and you're getting close. The only place these energies can safely intermingle are on Material Planes, where they create physical reality.

 **The Energy Planes**  
The Positive and Negative Energy Planes are an opposed plane pair, both empty voids but with very different characters. The Positive Energy Plane contains the power of Creation and Healing, whereas the Negative Energy Plane contains the power of Decay and Death. All living and undead beings depend on these forces, but few are advised to travel there. To stand on the Positive Energy Plane is to be constantly bombarded with healing energy- a state which causes most living beings to explode within minutes. The Negative Energy Plane similarly saps energy in a constant necromantic effect, killing the unwary traveller in swift order. For undead, these effects are reversed, but no less dangerous.

The only creatures known to survive these planes are the energons- Xag-Ya (positive) and Xag-Yi (negative)- which are elemental beings of the energy planes.

 **The Elemental Planes**  
The Planes of Air, Water, Earth and Fire are exactly as they are named; Fire and Water are an opposed plane pair, as are Air and Earth. Each contains only its own element- so the Plane of Air is a vast sky, the Plane of Water an endless sea, the Plane of Earth a mass of rock and dirt, and the Plane of Fire an ever-burning inferno. Native to these planes are the Elementals, who have their own societies and speak their own languages.

 **The Paraelemental and Quasielemental Planes**  
Produced where the Elemental Planes come into contact with each other, the Paraelemental planes are the Planes of Ice (Air/Water), Ooze (Water/Earth), Magma (Earth/Fire) and Smoke (Fire/Air). The Quasielemental Planes are produced where the Elemental Planes come into contact with the Energy Planes and are the Planes of Lightning (Air/Positive), Vacuum (Air/Negative), Steam (Water/Positive), Salt (Water/Negative), Mineral (Earth/Positive), Dust (Earth/Negative), Radiance (Fire/Positive) and Ash (Fire/Negative).

The Paraelemental and Quasielemental Planes are themselves true planes, infinite in size, because the border between two infinite regions must be infinite itself. Like the Elemental Planes they are home to elementals, who may be summoned to the Prime Material by a powerful spellcaster.

### The Material Planes

The Material Planes are where the raw matter and energy of the Inner Planes meets the philosophical structure of the Outer Planes. These are the natural habitats of mortal creatures. In theory there is only one true Prime Material Plane; in practise, demiplanes that occupy a similar position are also Material Planes. Some theorise that it might be possible to travel to alternate Material Planes in different cosmologies. So far, no-one attempting such a thing has returned.

 **The Prime Material Plane**  
At the confluence of all other planes lies the Prime Material, a stable balance between mutually exclusive forces that serves both as a neutral zone and a battleground. Here is the home of mortals- of elves and Aasimar, of Tieflings and dwarves- where the conflicts that define the cosmos are played out in microcosm.

The great powers are in stalemate here, seemingly locked in eternal battle. But according to the gods there shall one day be a Reckoning, and when that day comes it is the children of the Prime Material who will shape what is to come.

 **The Lunar Planes**  
The Lunar Planes are naturally occurring demiplanes that orbit the Prime Material. They are visible as moons at night, their phases a clear sign of how close they currently are to the Prime Material. Each Lunar Plane is the sole territory of a Lunar Lord- six divine beings, less powerful than the Creator Gods but still mighty in their own right. The Lunar Planes are finite, but large, and are completely malleable to the will of their Lord.

The Plane of Antares is an ocean dotted with islands. The seas themselves pose little danger, but the ships upon them are a different matter. Antares favours pirates, smugglers and adventurers, and the plane is one of treachery, treasure, and the far horizon. From the outside it is a deep blue moon, but one that can look golden when the sun catches it right.

The Plane of Sadalmelik initially seems similar to Antares, but the sea is wild and stormy and the islands are built of bones. Monsters lurk in the depths and although there is treasure to be found, it is all built into monuments to the glory of Sadalmelik's Lord. From the outside it is a pale violet moon, larger than all the rest. When Salamelik and Antares are in conjunction great naval battles take place between them, and sailors on the Prime Material are wise to stay in port.

The Plane of Alrescha is entirely underwater, but is otherwise peaceful. The depths can be strange or even disturbing, but there is a beauty to them nonetheless. Visitors have described palaces of coral and pearl, spires of shimmering rock, and shafts of light in water that never gives way to sky. From the outside it is a delicate pink moon that shimmers like mother-of-pearl.

The Plane of Regulus is wild and untamed, a forest and a jungle filled with predators and prey. So long as you are content to hunt or be hunted it can be a hospitable enough place, but many fall afoul of the unspoken rules of this wilderness. From the outside it is a bold green moon, and when it is full the Lord of Regulus is said to ride hunting in the Prime Material.

The Plane of Aldebaran is a land of hills and plains, with occasional copses of trees. There are animals everywhere, most of them friendly, some of them monstrous. Harming any of them draws the wrath of the otherwise mild Lord of Aldebaran. From the outside it is a small, brownish moon that can be hard to notice against its brighter brethren. When in conjunction with Regulus, it is supposed to be a good time for hunting- and a poor time to corner dangerous prey.

The Plane of Rukbat is a stony and desolate place. Mountains carve into the sky and the scattered remains of mechanical wonders litter the landscape. The only inhabitants here are automatons, who cower when lightning splits the sky. From the outside it is a pale blue moon, marked by a long scar across its face. It is said to be the moon of anger, unless in conjunction with Regulus. When this happens, it is a time of peace.

### The Outer Planes

The Outer Planes are cerebral, embodying philosophies, ethical alignments, and the nature of raw belief. Here is where souls go to their afterlives, as well as the native planes of immortals that embody concepts such as Angels, Demons and Inevitables.

 **The Outlands**  
The Concordant Domain of the Outlands, or the Concordant Opposition, is a neutral meeting place between the conflicting powers of the Outer Planes. Home to the souls of deceased Neutral creatures and the native rilmani, it is also the location of gate-towns (built around permanent planar portals), and has at its centre a great spire. Atop the spire is the city of Sigil, famed as the meeting place of the multiverse.

Those curious about Sigil can learn more in the Planescape setting.

 **The Aligned Planes**  
The Aligned Planes are each bound to one of the four alignments that bound the cosmos. They are each the home of beings that embody those pure concepts.

In Elysium, realm of pure Good, there is nothing but peace and unadulterated goodness, such that visitors often forget that they intended to leave. Guardinals live here, in a land of vibrant colour and beauty.

In The Grey Waste, realm of pure Evil, all emotion and compassion is drained away. Demons dwell here and do battle with one another in the colourless expanse.

In Mechanus, realm of pure Law, everything is run on clockwork and machinery. Scholars and automatons live to rigid schedules, and Inevitables go forth to bring perfect Order to the universe.

In Limbo, realm of pure Chaos, everything is always changing. There is no sense or reason here, and only the native Slaad and Githzerai can navigate its ways.

 **The Planes of Conflict**  
The Planes of Conflict stand between the Aligned Planes and are often the sites of struggles between concepts.

Bytopia, Celestia and Arcadia are planes of Lawful Good; they are peaceful and tranquil places, as neither Good nor Law encourages active conflict.

Gehenna, Acheron and Baator are planes of Lawful Evil; they are hierarchical and rigid, but filled with struggle and pain.

The Beastlands, Arborea and Ysgard are planes of Chaotic Good; they are unregulated and wild, but ultimately rewarding places.

Carceri, Pandemonium and the Abyss are planes of Chaotic Evil; they are treacherous and vicious, ruled by power and cruelty.

### The Transitive Planes

The Transitive Planes connect the other planes. They are usually formless and devoid of any native life or matter, but each has its own perils and unique nature.

 **The River of Souls**  
Flowing from the Prime Material to the Axis of the Cosmos, the River of Souls claims the Dead and carries them to either rebirth or the road they must travel. A true description of it is hard to come by as one of its primary effects is to wash clean the memories of a past life; those who enter the River have no memory of it afterwards.

One of the more crucial effects of resurrection magic is to restore the memories of the deceased, but this comes at the cost of memories formed within the afterlife. It seems that the River creates “save states” to which a person can be returned. What this means for those who have gone on to their final rest, or who have reincarnated, is unknown. It may be that the River takes nothing, but instead only buries it, or holds it in trust.

Whatever the case, it is not a road the living can travel and retain their past.

 **The Ethereal Plane**  
The Ethereal Plane is a sea of endless possibility. From its borders, a ghostly overlay of the Prime Material and Inner Planes lets a traveller see where they enter or exit. In the Deep Ethereal, a traveller may pass new planes incubating, or old planes fading away. Everything that enters this Plane becomes Ethereal; nothing solid can exist here.

The Ethereal connects to the Astral Plane through the Ether Cyclone, and the River of Souls flows through it where it touches the Prime Material. The only creatures that could be called native to the Ethereal Plane are ghosts- and these are not so much native as lost.

 **The Astral Plane**  
The Astral Plane is the land of thought, memory and psychic energy. Ancient and forgotten gods are the only landscape here; travellers use silver cords to find their way back to whatever starting point they travelled from. On the Astral, there is no true space or time; one could spend an eternity in its barren dreamscape, although every last one of those years would catch you up the moment you left.

Dreamers often unknowingly walk in the Astral Plane, and the Dead pass through here on their way to the Outer Planes, after passing through the River of Souls. Unusually for a Transitive Plane, the Astral is also home to various native beings such as githyanki.

 **The Far Realms**  
Beyond even the Outer Planes lies the Far Realms, an incomprehensible void where all forces meet and horrorterrors lurk. The denizens of this dark void are not hostile, precisely; they have no need for hostility when their very existence is so alien as to drive other beings to madness.

It is said that the Far Realms predate the rest of creation, that they are the firmament in which the rest of The Great Wheel spins. On this matter, the gods are silent, and those who go to ask the denizens of the Far Realms report back in eldritch tongues and gibbering incoherence.

 **The Plane of Shadow**  
An empty plane of darkness, the Shadow Plane connects to other planes wherever light is lacking. It makes travel through shadows possible both within a single plane and between multiple planes. It may even make travel to other cosmologies entirely.

There are no natives in the Plane of Shadow, but things which can move through it naturally are often dangerous and rarely friendly.

 **The Temporal Plane**  
Few descriptions exist of this elusive plane; fewer still can access it. It is known to be a realm where physical travel moves one in time. The Knight of Time and the Maid of Time forbid all interference in this realm, and those few who foolishly gather the power to enter find themselves ejected in short order.

 **Mirror Planes**  
Mirror Planes are small, tunnel-like demiplanes that connect mirrors throughout the cosmos. All mirrors connect to a Mirror Plane, but no Mirror Plane connects more than two dozen mirrors. Mirror Planes appear to be long, winding corridors or mazes, the mirrors they connect to embedded like windows in the walls.

Mirror Planes do not have native denizens, precisely, but each one contains a mirror version of any person who enters. These mirror versions have the opposite alignment to the original, and will seek to kill them and take their place. Killing your mirror version removes your reflection from all mirrors connected to that mirror plane.

A person who seems otherwise normal but has no reflection in any mirror likely is a mirror version who has slain the original.

### The Demiplanes

Demiplanes are non-infinite “mini-planes”, usually tethered to a true plane. Most demiplanes are artificially created by powerful entities using divine or arcane magic. These are typically similar to the home plane of the creator and obey the same rules, with the exception of being subject to the creator's will.

There are a few notable exceptions to this; naturally occurring demiplanes that are not tethered, and occupy their own cosmological space. Aside from those already mentioned, there are the following:

 **The Axis of the Cosmos**  
The Axis of the Cosmos is, simply put, the centre of all creation. It is said to be the home of the gods, but what lies inside is a mystery, for there are only two ways in and out. The first is to be a god and use your divine power to command an entrance or exit- which will seal up behind you. The second is a single Door which leads into the River of Souls. As the River takes the memory of all who swim it, it proves an effective protection against invaders of the gods' own sanctum.

 **The Sky Seeds**  
At the furthest edge of the Far Realms float the Sky Seeds, tiny demiplanes that remain sealed against intrusion. Few make the perilous journey to see them and fewer still survive; none have breached one and lived to tell of it. Their name is known only through divinations. The Seer of Light reluctantly named them, once, and those who have tried to seek further information have found themselves cursed with alarming speed. It seems the gods do not want to speak of these demiplanes or what they might contain. For those few who know of their existence the prospect is truly alarming.

The one eyewitness report that exists of them, written by Archmage Kassira the Mad, describes them as “not looking much like seeds- more like frogspawn, if you ask me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Information on the canonical D&D planes retrieved from [ https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Plane_(Dungeons_%26_Dragons)](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Plane_\(Dungeons_%26_Dragons\)). These planes are property of Wizards of the Coast and/or their original content creators and are reproduced here for the purpose of enlightening my readers and filling out the LODAD cosmology. I strongly suggest that those confused by the Inner or Outer Planes check the link, because there are diagrams.
> 
> I was planning to write something about Lunar Lords. Then I thought "maybe I should explain what a Lunar Lord is first". Then I thought "no, I should explain what a plane is first". Then this happened.
> 
> EDIT 24/11/2016:  
> All LODAD updates are cancelled until the fracture in my left elbow heals.
> 
> In related news, be very careful on wet decking.
> 
> _Ow._


	151. -- LUNAR LORDS: ANTARES --

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NORMAL VOTE TRACKING WILL RESUME NEXT UPDATE.

## VRISKA SERKET, LORD OF ANTARES

_Lady Luck, The Scourge, Queen of All Pirates, Goldbringer_

ALIGNMENT: Chaotic Neutral

PORTFOLIO: Fortune, Piracy, Legends, Vengeance

DOMAINS: Trickery (Thievery), Luck (Fate), Knowledge (Thought), Retribution*

FAVOURED WEAPON: Cutlass

THE LORD OF ANTARES is the personification of adventure, piracy, and legendary deeds. For those who win her favour, great things are on the horizon- but those who draw her ire can expect a dramatic and bloody end.

LUNAR PLANE  
THE PLANE OF ANTARES is a vast ocean dotted with small islands. Aside from storms that strike with the mood of the Planelord, the weather is almost always mild and sunny, making for pleasant and safe sailing. The islands are warm, sandy and well-stocked with both fruit trees and treasure hordes.

The true dangers of this plane are its denizens. The welcoming islands are home to vicious and deadly monsters, all of which are more than eager to feast on mortal flesh. The seas are no safer, as entire fleets of murderous pirates, smugglers and adventurers without conscience sail those waters- in search of riches or escape, even they do not seem to know. Antares is the land of treachery, treasure and the far horizon; it draws to it those would rather be great than good.

From the Prime Material Plane, Antares has the appearance of a deep blue moon. At dawn and dusk it often takes on a golden hue, like a coin sparkling in the deep. Folklore says that when Antares is full, fortunes will be made and seas will be mild, but fools will die all the same. The dark of this moon is considered an inauspicious time to start a new venture.

RELATIONSHIPS  
THE LORD OF ALDEBARAN is said to hide from Antares, the two moons chasing each other across the sky with only rare meetings. By a quirk of fate or design, they are only ever in conjunction when both are full, and on these nights great beasts roam the lands of the Prime Material. It is said that Antares was once jilted by Aldebaran, but the truth of this is uncertain; he will not speak of it at all, and she will speak only insults of his name.

THE LORD OF SADALMELIK is a longtime rival and foe of Antares. When these planes are in conjunction their lords go to war, the ships of Antares against the terrible monsters and magics of Sadalmelik. Neither can ever gain a permanent foothold in the other's terrain, but their battles are said to cause storms and turbulent seas on the Prime Material Plane.

THE LORD OF ALRESCHA has little patience for Antares. When the planes are in conjunction she sinks unwary ships from Antares' plane, sending their unfortunate crews back to the Prime Material. In retaliation, Antares steals the crews of ships that sink on these nights to her own realm, thus creating more for her rival to eventually rescue. Few sailors like to be at sea on these nights.

THE LORD OF RUKBAT is on civil enough terms with Antares. Neither has much interest in the business of the other, and when their paths cross little seems to happen. Some swear that this is the best time to start new projects, however, with the blessings of both Lady Luck and the Smithlord together.

THE LORD OF REGULUS enjoys games of blood almost as much as Antares, and when their planes are in alignment they both become the deadlier for it. The lords go hunting together, either in competition or as comrades, and so these are the nights of wild hunts and lunar madness, knives in alleyways and teeth between the trees.

APPEARANCE AND ATTENDANTS  
THE LORD OF ANTARES appears as a tiefling with mismatched horns and long dark hair that is always blowing in a sea breeze, whether there is one or not. She has one eye as blue as the sea and the other is covered by an eyepatch marked with seven small specks of gold. She dresses like a sailor or a brigand, and carries a cutlass in one hand and a gambling die upraised in the other. Her smile promises nothing but danger.

Her attendants are spiders, scorpions, crabs and other scuttling creatures. She also has a large number of mortal attendants, kidnapped from their lives to populate her realm. Those who survive are often promoted to her service- which she can compel with only a thought or wave of her hand. Only the strongest-willed can resist the orders of Antares; all others are her slaves for as long as she wishes them to be.

CULTS  
Despite her less than lawful associations, Antares has thriving cults amongst sailors and adventurers both. Her powers to bring calm seas and lead the way to lost treasures are lauded, and for those who value the end over the means she can be a powerful patron.

Naturally, she also has a significant following amongst pirates, brigands and bandits. However, these followers often find that their greatest fortunes are followed by brutal defeat. Antares is far from fond of those who rest upon their laurels, and those who think that Lady Luck will grant them an easy victory tend to find the odds against them worse in the long run.

Antares most usually grants her power to Clerics; she prefers those who seek power actively to those who wait for it to come to them. She has a few Inquisitors amongst her clergy, too, but no Paladins.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone and a happy 2017 to you all!
> 
> My arm is now all better, Christmas and birthday are done, and I thought I would ease myself back into it with the first in a long-requested series of filler chapters... the lunar lords! Our regularly scheduled story resumes in two weeks time, after which we should be back to the regular update schedule.
> 
> 2016 was a shit-pile of a year in many ways- leaving any and all global events out of it, I don't think I've ever been so regularly ill in my life, and family stuff has been stressful at best and fucking tragic at worst. This has also meant that 2016 saw me being quite bad at my update schedule. I'd like to thank everyone who sent me kind messages- I have the best readers, I swear- and here's to a better 2017 for all of us!


	152. ==> Dave: Back To The Future, Part One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Hero point votes:**  
>  NO VOTES CAST SO FAR  
> Voting open for the next Hero Point award: one person will get one after three chapters. 
> 
> **Current Hero Points:**  
>  John 2/5, Rose 2/5, ~~Dave 3/3, Jade 3/3~~  
>  Karkat 2/5, ~~Gamzee 3/3,~~ Terezi 3/5  
>  Sollux 3/3, ~~Aradia 3/3, Kanaya 5/5~~  
>  Jane 2/5, Jake 4/5, ~~Roxy 3/3,~~ Dirk 2/3

## ==> Dave: Back To The Future, Part One

You wake up confused and aching again. This is getting to be a habit.

“Finally,” says a way too familiar voice, and you look up to see yourself looking down at you. Even trying to find words for the concept makes you go cross-eyed.

Meeting yourself, it turns out, is nothing like having a twin. You've had a twin your whole life, and even though you're not identical, you're close enough to fool other people when you try. But this guy... it's like looking at a reflection of a reflection. You know it's you, but the movements are all out of sync.

Also, he punched you in the face. That fuck.

“You punched me in the face, you fuck,” you say, because it's the sort of thing that really needs saying.

“Yeah, we needed to talk without you listening in,” he says. “Time shit is confusing as shit and we do not need a paradox because you're getting your panties in a twist about what you're supposed to be saying when you're me.”

“What?”

He throws a bundle at you. You unwrap it to find... the clothes he was wearing? Not that you can really make much out, it's shadowy as shit in this mysterious not-temple with only swordlight to see by, but you think he's still wearing them. Fucking Time Travel. You guess that makes him Future Dave.

“Time to get dressed, sleepyhead,” he tells you. “I'm the handsome fucking prince, here to wake you ready for the big damn fairytale wedding.”

“That's weird, buddy,” you tell him, pulling your shirt over your head and replacing it just as quick. “I mean the kind of weird you only get in tiny rural villages and enormous fucking palaces, if you know what I mean.”

“Dude, I am you. Of course I know what I mean.” He helps you up and passes you the legendary talking piece of shit, which is surprisingly quiet right now.

You squint down the blade of the sword. “What did you do to it?”

“Nothing.” You snort in disbelief and the other you shakes his head. “No, really. It was Krusty. Elf-guy is shit-hot on the magic front. It'll wear off eventually, but by then it won't matter for shit.”

“Why?”

“Because you're gonna leave that fucking thing behind.” Future Dave leads you through an archway into an unassuming square room and points to a plinth in the centre. “There. Just drive the fucker into that.”

“It'll shatter,” you point out.

“It won't,” Future Dave says.

You turn and give him some serious side-eye, but he is you, and if you don't trust yourself, what is even the fucking point? So you walk up to the plinth, raise Caliburn, and drive it down full force into the pale stone.

The blade sinks in like a knife into butter, and you step back to admire your handiwork. The sword glows slightly in the darkness. It reminds you of... something. The thought is escaping your mind.

“Please tell me I get to leave him here,” you say. “He can insult his own fucking echoes, I swear.”

“Nah, not so lucky.” Future Dave reaches up and unhooks an amulet from around his neck, holding it out to you. “Here. Take this. It'll get you where you gotta go.”

“Where?” you ask. He steps back away from you.

“Be cool, Past Dave,” he says. “You got this.” Then he gives a little wave. You just about have time to think _fucking godcrap on a plated turd, I'm an asshole_ before the entire world drops out from under you. Not in the good, old-fashioned way. In the “just got forcibly evicted from reality” way. If the material plane has a bouncer, you guess you can consider yourself well and truly bounced.

Around you there's a storm raging. There must be solid ground under your feet, but you can't see it, not with the air cracking and swirling and howling past you. Your skin glitters with red sparks where the debris of the storm hits it, and you can't feel a damn thing even though your ears are aching.

 _The amulet._ It's gotta be protecting you. From this place it brought you. You squint into the storm and see flashes of motion, snatches of faces and words. This ain't just some regular old enthusiastic weather. This is the proverbial shit hitting the proverbial windmill. You're not a scholar and you only vaguely know that there are other planes with their own laws outside the material plane you live on. That said, it doesn't take a fucking genius to add two and two and guess that wherever you are, it's all to do with Time. Capital “T”.

Your first, panicked thought is _how do I get back?_ It's followed closely by _how do I get home,_ which comes in just ahead of _wait, I need to send myself here first_ and _where am I supposed to be going?_

Instead of being lost, you are now lost and freaking the fuck out. You and the handle have parted company in order to facilitate your new career as a kite, so thoroughly have you flown off it. Your shit is so thoroughly lost you are no longer certain you had it in the first place. Luckily there is no-one to see your embarrassing descent into panic. You waste a while yelling and waving your arms around before you notice that your amulet is glowing.

You walk a few steps and the glow gets brighter. A few more, and it dims. After some trial and error, you work out that it's playing a sort of “warmer, colder” game with you and start to follow the path it's leading you on. The storm raging around you continues to not touch you, and the light of the amulet reflects off it and _through_ it, giving you glimpses like looking through a window in fog. Here, a knight in gold; there, a city burning. A little girl carrying flowers. Stars falling.

The light grows bright enough to blind you, and then everything is dark.

Somehow you can feel that you've been moved again. Where and when, though... you can hear your own breathing echoing, faint drips in the distance, a chill that says you're underground.

Like an idiot, you're not carrying a lantern or a torch, but with some blind fumbling you manage to get a small flame going on your cooking kit. It lights up a few feet of damp grey stone, which tells you precisely fucking nothing. You're in a cave. Big whoop.

Behind you, something skitters.

You whirl to face it, drawing your shortsword and wishing that you hadn't put down Caliburn. Yeah, the sword was an asshole, but it was also a magic fucking sword. A couple of feet of solid steel suddenly seems pretty fucking fragile by comparison.

You don't see anything but shadows. Behind you, something chitters.

“Come out, come out, wherever you are?” Your voice cracks a little. You've never been as good at the stoic facade as Dirk. Especially not when you're alone in the dark with gods-know-what. Oh, wait. You're a god, and _you don't fucking know what that is._

The flickering light from your small fire goes out. All the light goes out.

“Ksss,” hisses something beside your ear. You freeze.

Something hard and pointed and hairy brushes your cheek. “Intruderss,” a voice chitters. “Delicssiouss.”

“Not one of the Ssylphss,” another voice hisses. “No, not herss.”

“Ourss,” another says. There is a small chorus of chitters. Your thoughts race.

“The Sylph,” you echo. “Kanaya? You know Kanaya?” Conversations from weeks ago come back to you, stories that sounded exciting when you were all safe and warm. “You're the Driders. The ones from the Deep Caverns.”

A pause in the chittering. “You sspeak the name of the Ssylph?” one asks.

“Yeah, we're tight,” you say. You only squeak slightly. “So if you'd, uh, just let me get on my way-”

Something like a metal rod comes out of nowhere and bowls you over. You land sprawling on stone, your sword clattering away into the darkness. “Sshe did not ssay you were not food.”

“Morsselss for uss.”

“Ssusstenansse.”

“Wait! Hold it up just a second, here!” You scramble back and bump into something that feels like a cluster of spiny sticks. When they grab onto you, you carefully do not think about what they actually are. You are going to develop arachnophobia after this, you fucking swear to your own self. “I'm here to help her! And Karkat! They need me!”

“Liess,” the one holding you purrs. You shudder as the grip tightens.

“No!” You launch forward, wrenching free. The drider doesn't try hard to hold you, and it doesn't take sight to guess that you're surrounded. “I'm the Knight of fucking Time, okay? They need me! I swear I'll owe you if you just fucking help me!”

You are bluffing your ass off at this point, but the skittering around you pauses.

“You will help uss?” one of the driders hisses.

“Yeah,” you agree.

“He ssmellss of agess,” another says, and then you are almost deafened by the rattles and clicks from around you. At one point there is a rush of air and a screech; something hits you in the chest and you jump back with a yell before you realise it is a dismembered spider leg.

The attack seems to resolve the argument, because the chatter quiets. One of the Driders- fucked if you can tell them apart- says; “We will ssee. We will take you to the Ssylph. If you help her, you may help uss. If not...”

More hissing behind you. You swallow.

“Seems fair.” You wave a hand at the darkness. “Lead on?”

You squawk as you are snatched up in spider-legs and start to move at terrifying speed. You can't see a fucking thing and there's nothing to hear but chitin on rock, but your stomach lurches as you're spun upside down and jolted up and down. The Driders don't care about rough ground or narrow gaps, and you have the feeling that the road you're on isn't one a person with only two legs could walk.

Light dances in your vision. You blink, but it doesn't fade. There's a steady glow coming from up ahead, punctuated by flashes of light. There's shouting, voices that bounce off the walls until they're indistinct.

A loud crack breaks the air.

You are dropped without ceremony and given a pointed shove from a pointed leg. You stumble a couple of steps, then start to run. Ahead of you there's an opening, and on the other side...

You only have a fraction of a second to take the scene in. People you know, people who are your friends or will be one day, standing on ledges and at openings. A vast chasm, a tunnel into the earth. A falling dragon and fading light. And leaping from the back of it, reaching for the ledge you're standing on, Terezi.

Her hand catches on the rock and starts to slip. You can see her eyes widen in shock, and a scream tears out of her. You jump forward before you can think twice. Your hand wraps around her wrist, and you pull. She stares at you as you help her up to safety, a stranger from nowhere.

You wink at her. “Gotta watch yourself on those magical flying lizards. They're terrible playmates.”

And then, because explaining shit would be hard even if you completely understood it, you turn and book it out of there. You can just hear Terezi calling after you, asking who you are, but you give no shits right now.

In the fading light from the cavern, you can make out the shape of the driders as you approach them again. They are way bigger than you.

“You ssaved the Sseer,” the lead drider says.

“Damn fucking right I did,” you say. “Question now is, what can I do for you?”

The way their mouths split into fang-filled grins fills you with unease.

### Suggestions Used

 _thundersopra -_ Dave: Have a 'nice' and 'friendly' conversation with yourself?

 _Ephemeral_Dreamer -_ Dave: Accidentaly visit the Temporal Plane

 _Killkatrat -_ Sister Red-Eyes the Drider: despite not being relevant to the plot for 75+ chapters, assist the heroes wether you know it or not. Eat multiple confectionaries on the way.

 _Sandi -_ Someone: Do something nice for the poor driders.

 _ladysekhmetka -_ Driders: Help out your Mistress and your little brother!

 _pip -_ driders: bravely protect your brood brother from the deeper darkness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See also: Chapter 66, in which a Future Dave catches Terezi when she falls off the Dragon in the Underdark.
> 
> As you can see, normal service is resumed, and thank you all for your patience! Thank you also to the people who have been pointing out errors (or perceived errors) when they come across them; I appreciate it. :)


	153. ==> Dave: Back To The Future, Part Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Hero point votes:**  
>  Dave 1  
> Rose 1  
> John 1
> 
>  **Current Hero Points:**  
>  John 2/5, Rose 2/5, Dave 2/3, Jade 3/3  
> Karkat 2/5, Gamzee 3/3, Terezi 3/5  
> Sollux 3/3, Aradia 3/3, Kanaya 5/5  
> Jane 2/5, Jake 4/5, Roxy 3/3, Dirk 2/3

## ==> Dave: Back to the Future, Part Two

Costume has been part of your life for as long as you can remember. Dressing up to give shows with Dirk, disguising yourself in case you get seen doing absolutely fucking nothing, letting yourself get talked into some really seriously cultural shit... point is, you've worn a lot of stuff, and for the most part you've actually sort of enjoyed it. Like, ironically, of course. But also a little bit sincerely too.

This costume? You are not enjoying.

“This is completely fucking ridiculous,” you tell Lacey. That's what you've decided to name the spokesdrider, she of the foetid breath who really likes getting up close and personal when you're not looking. She's slightly less alarming than Violet- who keeps giving you bedroom eyes and licking her lips in a really not metaphorical way- and Humperdink- who won't stop poking you and snickering at your completely manly screams- but more prominent than the rest of the mass of legs, teeth and hissing that are apparently your allies now.

You're starting to see why all the drow you've met are fucked up. From what you've been able to gather of this city, it's more or less a miracle when someone reaches adulthood with the correct number of limbs and the ability to trance at night without screaming.

“Iss necesssary to sstalk our prey,” Lacey hisses. “They cannot ssee you.”

“It smells like shit in here,” you say, which is not strictly true. You have smelled shit, and shit smells a fuckload more wholesome than whatever alchemical crap has seeped into the heavy fibres of this... garment. You actually have no idea what else to call it. A couple of the driders brought it to you and you're guessing the former occupant met a nasty end somewhere in the dark, but the bloodstains you can see aren't really out of place in the mess. The ensemble is great for hiding every trace of your aasimar heritage and you'd be tempted to just call it gross if it wasn't for one thing.

“I look like a fucking hat,” you say. “A giant, walking hat that someone dropped in the sewer a month ago.”

You are draped from head to toe in heavy canvas, waxed and yet still stained and damp. Where your hands leave the sleeves there are leather gloves sewn in; a slit for your eyes is covered by shadowed glass and mesh, which incidentally leaves you almost completely blind. And the entire thing is roughly conical, flared out at the bottom in a way that vaguely suggests a floppy brim.

It is also, from what little you saw in the light available, virulently yellow. Alchemists have no godsdamn taste.

Lacey hisses. “You know what you ssseek.”

“Yeah,” you say. “The spells they use to control you.” It leaves an uneasy feeling in your stomach. If you steal those- if the drow don't have backups- then you're essentially turning the entire city of Golgesi into a drider snack bar. And the easiest pickings are going to be the slums around the edge, not the guarded manors in the middle where the people who fucked this shit up live.

Then again, you don't actually know how to get out of here, and being a drider snack yourself is really low on the list of things you wanted to do with your life. You stare up the tunnel that the driders insist will take you into the heart of a bunch of mad flesh-warping alchemists, and wonder how your life even got to this point.

“Right,” you say, and start to waddle forward. “If I'm not back by this time tomorrow, I've probably fallen over and can't get up.”

The hissing behind you is not in the least bit reassuring. You can't really hurry in this getup so you focus on planting your feet with care in the dim tunnel. There are a few stumbles and you end up using your hands for better purchase as you climb. The walls are slightly soft and slick with something you can't see or smell. You can hear your own breathing and a distant roar of water. Until now you didn't know it was actually possible to find something annoying and be relieved by it at the same time but you are really, really fucking glad that you're basically blind and fumbling.

You don't want to know where you are right now.

It feels as if you climb for a lifetime before you bump into a door. Literally- you crash into it and stagger back a little. There's a key hanging around your neck courtesy of the dead alchemist who supplied this suit, and you clumsily manage to grab it and shove it into a keyhole that you feel for with deadened fingers. The whole production takes about five minutes and if you weren't such a stoic, manly guy you would be sobbing with relief when the heavy lock opens and you shuffle inside.

The door starts to swing closed. You crouch and slide the key into the jamb to stop it. You ain't fighting to get this thing open again on the way out.

The corridor you're in is slightly better lit than the tunnel you climbed up, but only slightly. You pick a direction and start walking. You're sweating like a pig and you have no idea where you're going- you don't speak Undercommon, and while Lacey is happy to chat to you in a surface tongue, you don't think the drow who live here are going to just point you in the right direction if you say “hi” in celestial.

Speaking of... you freeze briefly as two guards round the corner. The eyes of both women pass over you briefly, and one of them nods. You nod back, but you're not sure the motion makes it through the layers of canvas. A few feet past you, one of them murmurs something and the other laughs; you hope you aren't the joke, but your hideous disguise says different.

According to the drow, the spells that control them are held in rods of gold and jet. So you just have to search the entirety of House Simbalaya or whatever it was called until you find something like that. Great.

Someone shouts, their voice muffled. You turn to look and see another bright yellow cone-person waving an arm at you. They sound pissed. You look away and she yells again, so you figure you might as well go see what she wants.

What she wants is to yell at you. You try to look as contrite as you can through like ten layers of waxed fabric, until she throws her hands in the air and with a “come on” gesture starts to march off. It seems pretty clear that you should follow, so you do. Seeing someone else walk in the protective gear lets you know that yes, you look exactly as stupid as you thought you did. You silently thank whatever entity looks over wayward deities that John and Jane will never, ever know about this.

Dirk will definitely know. You have no idea how, but he will.

You pass a few more guards as you follow your new guide-slash-angry-boss. Mostly you focus on not bumping into them. You're not sure what to do if you end up in a mess hall or wherever else mad drow alchemists go to take a break; your disguise won't stand up to a close look, let alone you taking part of it off. And thanks to your future self, you're not even properly armed. Not that Caliburn would have let you get this far. It occurs to you that your sword probably could speak Undercommon, and would definitely use it to get you in trouble. You suddenly feel better about being unarmed.

Your thoughts circling, you almost miss the turn. Another impatient shout from your unwitting helper turns you through a doorway... and into a brightly lit room. You let out a small puff of relief as you take in the tables of glassware and bubbling concoctions, the gleaming runes and charred scrolls. It seems even drow like a bit more light when they're wandering around with shades in front of their eyes all the time.

The drow leading you shouts something to the room and there are a few calls back and a bit of laughter. If you had to guess, getting lost and wandering in late is a bit of a joke around here. They probably wouldn't be so amused if they knew their friend was living in a drider's stomach.

That thought makes you feel ill again, so you start looking around the lab, trying to see if you can catch sight of the rods you've been sent to find. You're briefly surprised when you find them in seconds before you realise why.

Half a dozen drider control rods are stuck in a rack right by the door, in easy reach to grab in case, say, a horde of murderous spider-people came charging in. There's a guard standing next to them who nods to you when she sees you looking. She's got some sort of eye shades, made from the same darkened glass as the stuff over yours, which actually look pretty good. You're jealous.

You turn again and look across the room at the large furnace where a couple of your fellow yellow hat-people are toiling away. That would definitely melt the gold from the runes and crack the jet, which your entirely superficial knowledge of how magic works suggests wouldn't so much wreck this shit as murder the shit's entire family and then blow up the house the bodies were in. But you're absolutely sure the guard will stop you before you can grab an armful of enchanted rods and waddle across the room. And even if she didn't, she'd sure as fuck kill you after, assuming the room full of angry alchemists didn't get there first. If only you could buy yourself some time...

Wait. Knight of Time.

You take a deep breath and reach down, into the part of you that's hot and fast and ticks like a metronome. The part of you that's lived in this world for all these years is screaming, insisting that you don't know what you're doing.

The rest of you? That's what you're following right now.

First you need to be unencumbered, and that is all you- or, more specifically, all your theatrical skill. As quick to change as you are to rhyme, that's the secret. You pick a moment when everyone is looking in another direction, then release the catches you spent half an hour figuring out earlier.

Six seconds to get out of the giant yellow hat. Not your fastest change, but not bad. Of course, at that point the guard notices. You nod to her, and call up the power that ticks in your blood. Her hand, reaching for her sword, slows to a crawl; you grab the rods from the rack. The magic only lasts seconds, but that's enough time for you to get halfway across the room. The alchemists are starting to reach for bottles, so you call on a different heritage, one you rarely acknowledge.

Brilliant daylight floods the lab, shining from the belt pouch your finger brushes. Even your eyes water a little; the drow around you yell and stumble back. Glassware slams into the floor around you, which starts smoking. You jump aside and reach for the power of a god again.

The world slows down.

Suddenly the shards and splashes are things you can just step away from, the running guard moving at walking speed. You dance past reeling alchemists and throw the rods into the furnace. Blue-green flames start to rise as you race back. The guard turns towards you and you throw more power at her, looping time around her and snapping it taut. She judders as you pass, caught in a loop that will last less than a minute.

You don't need a full minute. You pause briefly on the way past, though, to steal her shades.

Out in the corridor, you instantly draw more attention. You ignore the shouting and run back the way you came, back towards the door and the Deep Caverns. There's a deep rumble in the rock and you have to throw out a couple more bursts of power, delaying one guard, trapping another in a time loop.

You're almost back to the door when you're met with a small wall of guards coming the other way. You skid to a halt and glance back over your shoulder; more guards are running up behind you.

You're trapped.

A guard with a fancy bit of braiding on her shoulder says something that you can't translate. Her tone sounds like every victorious guard that's ever managed to corner their quarry, ever.

Something skitters in the corridor, from the direction of the door you left ajar. You don't stop to think, just rip off the belt pouch and shove it into your shirt. The corridor plunges into darkness.

You stand very, very still when the screaming starts.

Something brushes past you in the dark, a stench of something rotting, and a voice in your ear hisses: “Thanksss.”

“Hey, no problem,” you say. The power is fading out of you, but you can feel something else wrapping around you. It's a familiar sensation, one you felt recently, and one that doesn't have anything to do with the all-out war you seem to have started.

You're glad this time, when the world falls away, and you're pulled back into the untamed flow of time itself.

### System Notes

Dave spends 1 hero point: 2/3 hero points remain  
[DM tax to avoid combat rounds/rolls]

Escape from restrictive clothes: DC 20  
Dave's Escape Artist Check = 13+12-3 = 22  
DAVE SUCCESSFULLY ESCAPES THE EMBARRASSING DISGUISE. THIS IS A FULL ROUND ACTION.

### Suggestions Used

 _Aryashi -_ Dave: Be forced by circumstance to don the most embarrassing disguise imaginable. 

_will408914 -_ Dave: Accidentally, maybe, possibly start an itty-bitty little riot.

 _Amyda -_ Driders: Find out who made you what you are today.

 _ttd0000 -_ Anyone: Put House Simyager to the sword.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The powers Dave used are, in order: Delayed Reaction (Godmark), Daylight (Aasimar), Haste (Godmark), One Track Mind (Godmark). He then uses another Delayed Reaction and One Track Mind on the way out. I did count out the events in the room, so he's not actually breaking any action-using rules... unless I'm mistaken, technically, what he did should be possible within the rules. It's not a full system use because I was running a little late, and it's a bit of a pain to run. So I've charged him a hero point instead.
> 
> I'm sorta hoping I can wrap Dave's time-travelling adventures up next chapter, but I guess we'll see. :)


	154. ==> Dave: Back to the Future, Part Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Hero point votes:**  
>  Dave 3  
> Rose 1  
> Jane 1
> 
>  **Current Hero Points:**  
>  John 2/5, Rose 2/5, Dave 2/3, ~~Jade 3/3~~  
>  Karkat 2/5, ~~Gamzee 3/3,~~ Terezi 3/5  
>  ~~Sollux 3/3, Aradia 3/3, Kanaya 5/5~~  
>  Jane 2/5, Jake 4/5, ~~Roxy 3/3,~~ Dirk 2/3

## ==> Dave: Back to the Future, Part Three

This time you're ready for the storm and the chaos. Fleeting shadows of times you've not lived swirl around you as you follow the glow of the amulet. It grows brighter and brighter with every step until once again you're blinded, and back on solid ground.

A cold wind almost sweeps you off your feet. You stumble on icy-slick rock and almost fall off a sheer rock-face before you regain your balance. The world around you is stone and cloud and sky- a mountain-top.

There's someone with his back to you ahead, standing at the edge of the mountain with his face turned skywards.

“Hey!” you shout. He doesn't turn, but beckons you over. You stumble across scrubby grass towards him. Somehow it's not a surprise to see your own face. This version of you looks different, though- he's got dark eyeglasses similar to the ones you just picked up, and he's wearing a loose red tunic and breeches with a cog emblem on the front.

He's also... you're not sure. There's just something different about him. One moment you think he looks smaller than you, less bright. The next you feel like a lantern placed next to a beacon.

“You got the time?” he asks you, deadpan. He's still not looking your way.

“What?”

“Don't sweat it. You'll remember it's hella fucking funny one day.” Finally he turns to look at you. Even though you can't see his eyes, you can feel them burning. “Well. This is fucked up.”

“When am I?” you ask.

“End of the line, bro,” he says, and gestures up to the sky. As if on cue, a spiralling circle of green magical sigils appears and spits out a giant fucking rock which falls, burning, through the clouds.

“There's more of them coming,” says the Knight of Time, his hands shoved into pockets in his breeches. He sighs. “I'm gonna fucking miss this world. It turned out okay for a while.”

Your heart freezes as more of the green summoning circles appear, spitting more and more burning rocks down at the world.

“It's a fucking apocalypse,” you realise, almost frantic. “Can't you _do_ something?”

“Chill your tits, Dave,” says the god in front of you. “You're making us look bad.”

If you don't reply to that, it's only because you're spluttering.

The Knight of Time gestures to the rain of death and fire coming down around you. “This ain't my first Reckoning, kid, and it won't be my last. It's gotta happen. Whole circle of life kumbaya thing.”

If you'd had to guess how meeting your god-self would make you feel, you wouldn't have put _incandescent anger_ on the list. “Maybe it doesn't matter to you, but it's going to fucking matter to the people down there when rocks fall and everybody dies.”

He actually does wince a little at that. “Nothing I can do to change it. Paradoxes and shit, you know?” He turns away from the edge and looks at you. “Or maybe you don't. You've been crashing through time like a fat, sweaty anime fan at a housemaid convention. There's screaming, running... and I'm the fucking police. You keep this up, someone's gonna get hurt.”

“More hurt than having a flaming rock land on them?”

“ _Yes,”_ he hisses. There's power behind it. For a moment on the freezing mountaintop, you're sure you're going to burn. “This here? This is something _we can't stop._ But what's happening in your time, that's a fucking abomination of nature. It's like those little squash-faced dogs riding in handbags, wearing hand-knit sweaters with glittery hearts on them.”

“So you want me to save the world so it can get fucked at the right time?”

“Yeah, pretty much.” The Knight of Time shrugs. “The more people make it to this point, the more get a chance to survive this shit. Kanaya and Jade said it was an r-strategy, which is biologist for _we're all fucked anyway so spray-'n'-pray.”_ He looks past you and nods. “Right. Here it is.”

“Here what is?” You turn and see a spindly figure clambering up the mountainside. It's climbing easily enough, even though both its hands are in use holding a long, wrapped bundle and a package. As for the being itself, you've never seen one like it; it's elven in shape but smooth and white as bleached bone, its face almost a mask.

It's wearing a smart blue uniform and a jaunty hat.

“Dave, this is the Post Mistress,” says the Knight of Time. “You can think of her as the messenger of the gods. She sure as fuck does.”

The Post Mistress stops in front of you and thrusts out the wrapped bundle and the package. She seems annoyed when you don't immediately take it.

The bundle, when you take it, has a very familiar weight and shape beneath the wrappings.

“You've got one more stop if we don't want the universe to implode,” says the Knight of Time. “If it was up to me, I'd keep that piece of shit where it was, but...” He shrugs. Then he gestures to the piece of parchment that the Post Mistress is insistently shoving under your nose. “You gonna sign for that?”

“You got a quill?” you ask the Post Mistress. You can't really tell with them being black and glassy, but you think she rolls her eyes before producing one that already has ink dripping from the end. You sign on the line she jabs at, your mark messy because you're trying to write upright with nothing to rest on, and then she rolls up the parchment, salutes, and strides back off down the mountain.

“Right, so, you're gonna have to deliver those to yourself at the right times,” says the Knight of Time, gesturing to the bundle and the package. “The amulet will do most of the work for you. Don't try to fuck anything up on purpose, because that causes doomed timelines. Doomed Daves are Dead Daves, and Dead Daves are the enemy. Got it?”

“Right,” you say, head spinning.

“And for fuck's sake, don't time travel again until you know what you're doing.”

You bite back on pointing out that you didn't mean to this time.

“Oh, one more thing.” He steps up to you.

“What?” you ask.

“Watch out for the stairs, bro,” he says, and shoves you.

There is a flash, a moment where you think you feel the storm, and then you're stumbling into the mouth of a cave.

You can tell straight away that this isn't the Deep Caverns again. There's early-morning sunlight streaming in from outside, and the warm glow of a fire deeper in. You can hear nakking sounds and you know, suddenly and with bright clarity, where and when you are.

You drop the box and unwrap Caliburn, which is uncharacteristically silent. Then again, it took a while for the fucking thing to get chatty. You remember that. There's a moment where you glance back into the cave, where your younger self is sleeping, but you didn't wake up with the sword. Jane gave it to you, after she came back from outside.

It's a close thing, but you remember to take off the shadowed glasses and leave them with the parcel.

The sunlight makes you blink, but you see Jane easily enough. She's sitting in the cave mouth, watching as Roxy chases after her cat and argues with a kobold guard. It's noisy and lighthearted and you are struck by a bolt of nostalgia that leaves you breathless.

“Now that is fucking scatterbrained,” you say, because the whole thing is like some kind of ridiculous circus. Jane jumps a little before turning and gapes for a moment before her face smooths in recognition.

“Did John get that muck off his face yet?” she asks.

“Huh?” A vague memory of a prank calls for your attention, but the details escape you. Not that she needs to know that. “Oh, yeah, that.” You shrug. “Almost, I think.”

Yeah, that's non-committal enough. It's so non-committal, it's got a fuckbuddy in every town and two on the coast, roaming between them with nothing but a tent and the stars because a caravan and a clan would only hold it down.

Too late, you notice that you're drumming your fingers against the cave wall, and force yourself to stop. Jane is frowning at you now. She can tell something isn't right, which only makes you want to escape faster.

“Can I help you?” she asks.

You flash her a winning smile which is at least fifty percent bullshit and step out of the shadows. “Sure.” Crouching down, you hold out Caliburn, which at least distracts her from trying to dissect you with her eyes. “Think you can hang onto this for a minute?”

Jane runs her fingers along the sword, touching the bindings and the blade. “Did you steal this?”

Taken by surprise, you grin before you can stop yourself. “Nah, shit was a present from a friend,” you say, and damn if this cryptic and mysterious routine isn't kinda fun. Who knew.

Jane's still looking sceptical. You're certain she'll give the sword to your past self. And by certain, you mean pretty sure. Mostly sure. It'll probably be fine?

Fuck.

“Make sure you give it to me, okay?” you tell her, hoping you're not breaking some time travelling rule no-one's shared with you. “It is like, more fucking important than you can possibly imagine that you pass me this in the next few minutes. I'm not even being ironic right now; I am one hundred percent sincere in every possible way."

Jane shakes her head. "Why am I holding this, again?"

Oh, no. You are getting out of here before you accidentally give time a wedgie. You stand and touch your fingers to your forehead, an impromptu salute. “Until we meet again, fair maid,” you joke, walking away backwards. It's a pun that she won't get for months, if ever, and you are totally sacrificing all right to complain about other people feeding you half-truths and incomprehensible bullshit.

You are the mysterious stranger. It is you.

A cat yowls and Jane looks away. You take advantage of the moment to duck around the corner, grab your parcel and eyeglasses, and grab the amulet around your neck. You're whisked away into the timestream before you can say “vanish into the shadows”.

The journey this time is more normal, if you're willing to utterly disregard all traditionally agreed definitions of the word. You follow the glow of the amulet through the rage of the storm, a place that you're starting to feel almost comfortable with. That's more evidence than you're comfortable with that you're the same person as that mass-murdering fuck of a god you met earlier. The vast majority of people, you're sure, wouldn't ever find this place natural or predictable or reassuring. It's just that when you're here and not panicking it's like...

...well, it's like you can feel the pulse of the place humming in time with your heartbeat. Like the raging timestream around you is an extension of yourself.

When you burst out into dark corridors again you close your eyes and spend several minutes remembering your normal life. Your childhood with the Phooka, stories around the campfire and colourful caravans and always, always worrying about where the next meal would come from. Performing with Dirk and feeling the applause in your bones. Cutting purses, running from the Watch, hiding around corners and trying not to laugh because _Striders don't show that easy, Dave_.

Ordinary things. Mortal things.

“Who are you?”

You open your eyes and find yourself looking straight at a green-scaled, finned elven woman.

_Nyneve._

You could laugh.

“Hi,” you say. “I'm the Knight of Time, but you can call me Dave. I think your boyfriend has found the other me by now. Wanna hook a guy up?”

### Suggestions Used

_anon_ \- Dave: Accidentally time-travel, meet a past incarnation of yourself/the Knight of Time.

_CircleCautious_ \- Anyone: feel a need to justify the meaningless destruction

_Angelic Fluffle_ \- PM: Be the messenger. Deliver the mail.

_Ms Arano -_ Dave: Come into possession of LPoTS in first place so that you can loop it back to yourself later.

_Orasa_ \- Anyone: Gain a legendary weapon/item. Immediately lose it/be forced to sacrifice it/give it away.

_Ailavyn_Siniyash -_ Any: Warn someone about the stairs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No offence intended to pugs in handbags or sweaters, although I would strongly encourage people not to support the breeding of pedigree pugs. They're sweet natured dogs but dear loving god the health problems they suffer... I'm not even gonna list some of that shit here, it's too graphic and awful to spring on people.
> 
> See also: Chapter 37, in which a Future Dave gives LPOTS to Jane.


	155. -- LUNAR LORDS: ALDEBARAN --

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Hero point votes:**  
>  Dave 2  
> Rose 2  
> Jane 2  
> A DRAW HAS OCCURRED! D6 Roll - 1/2 Dave, 3/4 Rose, 5/6 Jane  
> Result = 4: ROSE GAINS ONE HERO POINT!  
> Voting now open for the next Hero Point award: one person will get one after three chapters. 
> 
> **Current Hero Points:**  
>  John 2/5, Rose 3/5, Dave 2/3, ~~Jade 3/3~~  
>  Karkat 2/5, ~~Gamzee 3/3,~~ Terezi 3/5  
>  ~~Sollux 3/3, Aradia 3/3, Kanaya 5/5~~  
>  Jane 2/5, Jake 4/5, ~~Roxy 3/3,~~ Dirk 2/3

## TAVROS NITRAM, LORD OF ALDEBARAN

_Lord of Beasts, Horned One, Sky-Tamer, Warden of the Small_

ALIGNMENT: Neutral Good

PORTFOLIO: Animals, Nature, Weather, Games

DOMAINS: Glory (Honor), Air (Wind), Animal, Liberation (Freedom)

FAVOURED WEAPON: Lance

THE LORD OF ALDEBARAN is the personification of peaceful nature, the divine essence of the herbivore and the herdbeast alike. Like them he is unassuming and helpful; like them, he is a terrible force when roused to fury.

LUNAR PLANE  
THE PLANE OF ALDEBARAN is an endless plain, broken by stands of forest and rivers that meander without ever reaching a sea. The land is untamed but unthreatening, the weather windy but rarely a danger. The terrain itself sometimes seems to shift from desert to tundra to heath, the weather and the sky changing with it.

Whatever the terrain, the plane is inhabited by great beasts. Many are recognisable as creatures that exist on the Prime Material, where they are all herbivores or even farm animals. On the plane, all are larger- rabbits the size of dogs, sheep as large as houses, horses that tower into the clouds. The plants are likewise larger and the visitor to this plane may feel small and insignificant. This is as the plane's Lord wills. On Aldebaran, the small become mighty, and those foolish enough to disturb them are soon trampled or gored.

From the Prime Material Plane, Aldebaran appears as a dim brown moon, small and unremarkable even when full. Known also as the herder's moon, its light said to calm livestock, and some swear that milk obtained while it is shining has healing properties. Others say that those who are cruel to animals by Aldebaran's light will be cursed ever after- an old tale that anecdotes say still holds true.

RELATIONSHIPS  
THE LORD OF ANTARES chases after Aldebaran, ever trying to hunt down her elusive prey for some long-ago slight. Aldebaran is too cunning to be caught in her webs, but when both moons are full the rivers of one plane reach the seas of another. Ships sail into the heart of the endless plains, and great monsters do battle with pirates until morning breaks their conjunction.

THE LORD OF SADALMELIK considers Aldebaran beneath his attention, but when their planes are in conjunction his beasts crawl up the newly-formed beaches in search of their meals. Aldebaran defends his own as ever, but it is said that the bodies of the dead fall to the Prime Material Plane, leaving giant bones in remote places for the carrion birds to clean.

THE LORD OF ALRESCHA brings peaceful seas to Aldebaran. Their conjunctions are a time of goodwill for both planes and for the Prime Material. Each sends envoys to the other and enjoys the company while it lasts. Mortals who have stumbled onto these meetings tell of parties held on the shores that border each plane, magical lights shine like stars in the darkness and dancing that goes on until the seas recede and the dawn comes. Nearly all who have witnessed the celebrations have returned unharmed, but those who know them well say that it is as if a part of them has remained behind on those sparkling shores.

THE LORD OF RUKBAT has largely civil dealings with Aldebaran. Despite professions of disdain, Rukbat seems to have a fondness for Aldebaran's beasts, mimicking many of them in his own creations. Although their interests rarely overlap they will come to one another's aid when the need arises. When their planes are in alignment it is thought to be a good time to move on or start anew, but a poor one to make amends.

THE LORD OF REGULUS enjoys her games with Aldebaran. Although she is as the predator to his prey, neither is helpless, and both are willing to play in good spirits. These deadly games can spill over into the Prime Material, where a mortal bold and clever enough to best them both may win a boon from each.

APPEARANCE AND ATTENDANTS  
THE LORD OF ALDEBARAN appears as a tiefling with wide, bull-like horns and hair that runs from his head and down his neck like the mane of a horse. His torso is often uncovered, either shirtless or with an unfastened leather vest. His lower body varies more; sometimes he walks on two feet, at other times on hooves with goat-like legs. He has been seen with the legs and tail of a bull at times. Whilst he usually appears young, short and unimposing, it is said he can grow to the size of a giant in mere moments, and only the unwise would underestimate his power.

His attendants are animals of every size and origin, from pigeons and crows to lizards to elephants. He seems to have a preference for ungulates, but not so much as to reject any others that come his way. He seems to view them as friends more than servants, and any mortal he meets will find the same kindness extended to them... so long as they are willing to extend it to his people in return.

CULTS  
Herders and nomads are the most common worshippers of Aldebaran, their lifestyle depending often on the animals that travel with them. Likewise animal trainers and keepers, whilst rarely members of cults, have many superstitions that revolve around his favour. Farmers might share some of the same small rituals, but few worship him outright; Aldebaran is no pastoral god or bringer of harvests.

Those who follow Aldebaran often find that animals listen to them more readily and trust them more easily. It is a trust that is not to be abused. Aldebaran understands that the herder will eat their charges, but he will not tolerate cruelty or waste of life. Those who speak his name and treat their animals as chattel meet messy ends.

Aldebaran's power goes most often to Druids and Rangers. His Clerics tend towards the shamanistic, as do the Oracles he selects, but in the end he is willing to work with any who protect what he treasures.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here we have Lunar Lord Tavros, who is really very cuddly for an eldritch feylord of an otherworldly realm.
> 
> Thank you everyone for your comments, suggestions and votes- there have been a few new people and a few old hands, and that's great! See you in two weeks time with another chapter, which will probably not be about Dave.


	156. -- LUNAR LORDS: SADALMELIK --

## ERIDAN AMPORA, LORD OF SADALMELIK

_Master of the Deeps, Storm-Lord, Iceheart, Wavemarshal_

ALIGNMENT: Lawful Evil

PORTFOLIO: Domination, War, Ruin, Hubris

DOMAINS: Destruction (Catastrophe), Glory, Law (Tyranny), Nobility (Hubris)

FAVOURED WEAPON: Harpoon

THE LORD OF SADALMELIK is the personification of arrogance and deadly folly- both for the fool, and for those around them. It is said that his heart was once broken and that in that moment the blood in his veins froze to ice; certainly he has little love left for those who cross his path.

LUNAR PLANE  
THE PLANE OF SADALMELIK is an ocean not unlike Antares, but the water and skies are always wracked by storms and the islands are always bare and rocky. Shipwrecks from every place and time are broken upon the shores and more line the ocean floor. From everywhere in the plane, it is possible to see the Tower of Sadalmelik- a great spire of rock which shines with deceptive light. It is here, surrounded by the shells of ships, that the lord of the plane makes his home.

In addition to the storms and treacherous rocks, Sadalmelik is also home to countless sea monsters. These great beasts roam the depths in search of meat, and their battles spill blood into the waters for miles around. Even the wary and prepared meet ruin when they sail the waters of this plane; the only known survivors swore their service and allegiance to the Lord of Sadalmelik, and even then it seems this is no guarantee of escape or survival.

From the Prime Material Plane, Sadalmelik is visible as a silver moon, pitted with deep purple shadows reminiscent of bruises. It is sometimes called the “Murderer's Moon”, and folklore has it that misfortune will befall those who stand under its light when full. Seafarers claim that to use it as a guide always brings disaster.

RELATIONSHIPS  
THE LORD OF ANTARES does battle with Sadalmelik every time their planes are in conjunction, bringing chaos to the seas of the Prime Material Plane. Sadalmelik uses monsters and magic to try and make wrecks of Antares' fleets, while her fleets seek glory in slaying his beasts. Whichever side wins is said to determine sailing conditions until the next conjunction.

THE LORD OF ALDEBARAN tries to avoid the notice of Sadalmelik, save to defend his own creatures from the starving predators of Sadalmelik's seas. Sadalmelik himself rarely intervenes, although every once in a while he will attempt to rope Aldebaran into some game between himself and Antares. Should Sadalmelik succeed, dark times are sure to follow.

THE LORD OF ALRESCHA is the only one whose mastery of the oceans can defeat Sadalmelik's own, for she dwells in the depths that he dare not breach. It is said that it was she who once broke his heart, but whatever passed between them it has long since festered into mutual loathing. They try not to make contact, but when their planes are in conjunction they must, and then they do battle. The seas of the Prime Material are wild on these nights, and love itself is said to turn to treachery and despair.

THE LORD OF RUKBAT has a cordial dislike for and rivalry with Sadalmelik. They seek to do battle often, both when their planes are in conjunction and by agents when not, but these wars are as a chess game to the Lords playing them. This distinction is not so comforting to the mortal pawns who are sacrificed in their eternal struggle to show one another up.

THE LORD OF REGULUS dislikes Sadalmelik intensely, and while she will not hunt him down, she defends her territory viciously from his intrusions. Should she learn of his plans she will send agents to thwart them, but she rarely risks drawing his wrath.

APPEARANCE AND ATTENDANTS  
THE LORD OF SADALMELIK appears as either a merrow or a tiefling with zigzag horns, depending on the account. In either case his hair is swept back like the crest of a wave and his face is regal but cruel. He dresses as grandly as an emperor and as dramatically as a high magus, his face framed by a high collar and his limbs lined with gold. He is never unarmed and in fact prefers to carry a harpoon as tall as he is. Given that he is said to tower over even the tallest of tieflings, that is no small height.

His attendants are sea monsters and dragons, creatures of savage nature and powerful magic. He also has many mortal agents, willing or otherwise. Sadalmelik does not release those who come into his service, and expects them to obey his every whim. Betrayal sends him into a terrible rage, and so although he is a hard master to serve, the consequences of failure keep his servants in line.

CULTS  
There are those among the Merrow who worship Sadalmelik, most often because they wish to conquer and destroy their enemies. Fortunately these clans are a minority, because they often command powerful monsters, great battle-magics, and mighty slave armies.

Outside of these clans, Sadalmelik is seen as a power to appease, not to worship. More superstitious sailors may offer him sacrifices before risk ventures. Others pray for protection from him, or refuse to do anything that might draw his eye at all such as beginning a romance on-ship. Even pirates do not typically worship Sadalmelik.

Sadalmelik will grant his power to any who ask or whom he desires- Cleric, Inquisitor, Druid, Oracle, Sorcerer- but it comes at a hefty price. He demands the active furtherance of his own interests, and is quick to punish those he feels have failed their duty to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so, Mothers Day and other regular annual stuff snuck up on me this year. Another filler ahoy!
> 
> I'm going to a wedding in two weeks time. Hopefully I will be able to produce a proper chapter by then, but if not, more filler will ensue. Happily, this filler series is one everyone was asking for...
> 
> As for this chapter: unfortunately, Eridan doesn't seem to have come well out of the "make 'em slightly more callous and deadly, with a dose of mild childishness" formula I've been using for the Lunar Lords. For anyone who particularly likes him and is upset by his presentation as an utter bastard here, I would gently remind you that the Lunar Lords are _not_ the characters as they are in canon. They've spent literally eons trapped in basically their own heads, with godlike powers and actual worshippers.
> 
> Eridan does not strike me as a person who would respond well to that.
> 
> (Vriska didn't either.)
> 
> (Nor did Gamzee, but he's mortal at the moment.)
> 
> (Actually, it's shit for everyone. Don't ascend to godhood, people.)


	157. ==> Rose: Be The Oracle

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Hero point votes:**  
>  NO VOTES CAST SO FAR  
> Voting now open for the next Hero Point award: one person will get one after three chapters. 
> 
> **Current Hero Points:**  
>  John 2/5, Rose 3/5, Dave 2/3, ~~Jade 3/3~~  
>  Karkat 2/5, ~~Gamzee 3/3,~~ Terezi 3/5  
>  ~~Sollux 3/3, Aradia 3/3, Kanaya 5/5~~  
>  Jane 2/5, Jake 4/5, ~~Roxy 3/3,~~ Dirk 2/3

## ==> Rose: Be The Oracle

The wings of darkness granted to you by your soothsayer's raiment last less than ten minutes, which is long enough to carry you away from the battlefield, up the mountain, and to the edge of the temple walls before you are forced to set down. The Starspire towers above the mountains around it. You are quite certain you have saved yourself no end of trouble by flying up here instead of taking the time to walk.

It takes perhaps another ten minutes for your racing heart to calm and for you to sort through your conflicting thoughts. The fear that gripped you is an unnatural one; the effect of the Far Realms on your thoughts no less insidious. Yet even as you come to your senses enough to feel guilt for abandoning your comrades, pragmatism suggests it is for the best that you are here now.

Proceeding with caution, then, would seem to be the best course.

You stride through the open gates of the Starspire Temple with a confidence you do not truly feel. The light that reflects off the yellowed stone is subtly wrong, the misplaced shadows jarring, the silence louder than even the chaos of battle. Intellectually you know that everyone who was here either fled, or ended up amongst the shambling forces that assaulted you. But with no bodies... you see the shattered debris of a swift retreat and bloodstains, but the damage already feels old. You taste the knowledge like tears in your mouth; people will not return here. The Starspire, only days ago the centre of wisdom and prophecy for the world, is a ruin now. Wrapping your fingers more tightly around your wand, you keep walking onwards.

The Temple is large and sprawling, centuries of building and accommodations for pilgrims to pass. You walk through courtyards lined with stone guestrooms and gardens dotted with benches and burbling fountains. The air here is thin and chill, and the plants that grow are all stubby and rough, but it is a beautiful place. You startle a little when a faint chime rings out, until you realise it is the breeze jostling the bell on a nearby tower. It draws your attention to the stillness of everything else, and you realise that you haven't seen a single bird or insect- not one living thing at all. The revelation is... not surprising. The undead do not rise where life thrives.

You are starting to tire as you reach the foot of the Seven Hundred Steps, and commit what is likely sacrilege of the highest order by sitting on them for a rest. As the Seer of Light, you officially forgive yourself for any violation of propriety, and as Rose you take a drink of water and wish you were carrying some rations. From here you have a spectacular view across the entire valley. You squint a little, and think you can make out the hostel. It's really quite remarkable how far you can see; the sun is just beginning to rise, and you can make out individual armoured figures as they hunt down knots of shambling dead and blast them to ash.

It would be more satisfying if you couldn't see more undead bypassing the road entirely, striking out across the countryside in all directions. The Church of Heart has held their small bastion, but no more. Whatever has begun here, it will continue to spread, to consume what lies in its path until all is swallowed...

You blink and swipe away sleep with the back of your hand. It is hardly the time. Looking again, you can no longer make out the hostel or the wandering paladins. A trick of the light, perhaps. You get to your feet and begin to stagger up the steps.

Time passes. How much is hard to tell in the changed light. You occasionally check for the sun, but a couple of hundred steps up you stop for a rest and wake to find that it has vanished behind a bank of cloud. The diffused light from the abominable face hides it well, unless of course it has set again. You drink more from your waterskin and continue climbing.

The Temple itself is dwarven work. Carved into the rock of the Starspire, it seems almost to grow from the raw stone. You pass beneath the gaze of beatific statues, twenty feet high and painted in fresh, bright colours, that profess to be the Seer of Light. Viewing them with a critical eye, you don't think they look much like you at all. Beyond them in the shadow of pillars hewn from the mountain-face, you can see the great double doors of the Temple hanging ajar. You take a deep breath, and slip into the shadowed interior.

Once you are out of the eldritch light it becomes apparent just how much it had been contributing to your sense of disquiet. The interior of the Starspire feels more peaceful, although it is no less a site of chaos and death. You take care not to tread in the bloodstains that are seeping into the glittering mosaics, and step around the treasures both priceless and personal that are scattered across the floor. Ahead of you another set of double doors leads to the grand hall where pilgrims bow their heads and make offerings to a Goddess who cannot hear them. You bypass it, following the corridors to the left. For one who grew up in the Church of Light as you did, it is intuition and sense to take the sinister path.

The depths of the Temple would be dark if they relied upon servants to keep lamps lit, but some long-ago custodian thought that a little magic would be more miraculous. The globes set into the walls shine with a steady light, clear save for a slight warm tint of yellow. They give off no actual warmth, of course. Here, in the depths of the mountain, the chill is sinking deeper. The clerics who serve- who served here wore thick robes and several layers to ward off the cold. You do not have time to go clothes-hunting, so you make do.

Through a narrow side-door, another set of stairs wind upwards, this time in a tight spiral. You follow them up with one hand resting on the wall. The stone is smooth- impossibly smooth, like glass, like centuries of dripping water have polished away all the rough edges. You take the steps slowly to ensure you don't slip. At intervals a narrow slit lets the light from outside pour in, small bursts of reality that let you know how high you're climbing.

At the top of the stairs there is a wooden door. You unlatch it and walk through. There is, after all, no need for locks where secrecy and misdirection are your sentinels.

The Solarium is undisturbed. You step out onto what would be a tower top, were it not sheathed in a dome of coloured glass and mirrors. Above you the windows are clear and wide, all the better for seeing the stars when they are out. One would be able to see them better unobstructed, but despite the name, this Temple has never been meant for mere stargazing. Here, at the highest point of the Starspire, you are above the world, connected to it by only the most tenuous of threads. It is the best place for looking up or down... or ahead.

At the centre of the tower there is an altar. You walk up to it and light the incense with practised fingers. A thick, dreaming scent starts to fill the space. You sit on the waiting cushions, and look up into the spiralling colours of glass. Light and colour shimmer around you, unreal worlds stretching away in all directions. In the shadows behind the reflections of your reflections you can see futures shifting. You watch shadowy figures from the corner of your eye, letting them resolve unsuspecting of your stare. You catch glimpses of golden armour, of flashing steel, of dust blowing over sand.

The incense smells more strongly of smoke as you see flames flicker in the distance. Rust and iron, as you see blood swell and stain from the floor. It blackens as you watch, thickens to become something sick and necrotic. The blood becomes another mirror, and in it you watch as the sky falls, the world remade by death and devastation.

A scream echoes in your ears. Rage, not terror. Pain of the soul, not the body. Betrayal.

A hand touches your shoulder. You open your eyes to see Roxy crouched in front of you.

“Hey, sis,” she says gently. “You doin' good there?”

It takes a couple of tries for you to speak. Your mouth has dried up completely- how long have you been gone in the visions?

“Quite well, thank you,” you tell her. Roxy helps you to your feet, taking your weight as you get used to once again having a physical presence. “I believe I have gained some understanding of our foe, although it may be necessary to make more attempts to gain a full appreciation of our task.”

“Yeah, maybe not,” says Roxy. You frown, and she steps out of your line of vision. Across the room you can see John, Gamzee and Karkat. John and Gamzee are both crouched as Roxy was, concern plain in their expressions. It is little surprise, considering that Karkat is kneeling by one of the mirrors, his eyes completely rolled back in his head.

That snaps you out of your own trance faster than any smelling salts. Karkat is no Oracle; whatever gifts he may have are utterly untrained, his mind not in the least prepared for the assault of this chamber.

John stands as you approach. “Rose-”

“Out of the way,” you order. Gamzee glares at you mutinously. You ignore him, dropping into his space and wrapping your hands around Karkat's face.

“You'd best be not all thinking of doing nothing what might harm my motherfucking brother,” says Gamzee, in the tone of a person making an incidental observation.

“On the contrary, I intend to help him,” you say. “Now give me space.”

Gamzee stares at you a moment longer, then shuffles back. You return your focus to Karkat.

“Karkat,” you say, gently. “Karkat, can you hear me?”

“He's not been answering when we talk,” says John. “It's like he can't hear us at all.”

That is what you were afraid of. “Gamzee, would you happen to know his soul name?”

“And why would I be all up and telling you some motherfucking precious secret like what that's all up and being?”

You are about to snap at him when, to your surprise, Roxy speaks first. “'Cos right now Karkie's gone walkabout from his own head. True name's the only thing he can really hear anytime, anywhere.” You can see her in your peripheral vision as she crouches beside Gamzee. “I know you're nasty worried about him. I get it. I usedta hate it when Rosie went away like that. I promise we'll take care of him for ya.”

“I won't even listen,” says John, and puts his hands over his ears in a genuine but likely pointless gesture.

There is a pause, and something that sounds rather like a sniff. “Vantas,” says Gamzee.

You let out a small sigh. “Karkat Vantas,” you say. “Karkat Vantas. Can you hear me?”

“...R's?” Karkat's voice is small and distant, as if coming from far away.

“Yes, it's me. Rose.” You hesitate briefly, but if Karkat's Name is no longer secret it is only equitable. “Rose Lalonde. Find me, Karkat Vantas. Come back.”

“Come on, best friend,” says Gamzee. “Find me. Gamzee motherfucking Makara.”

You bite back on telling him that inserting obscenities into a name doesn't actually help. Your focus needs to be on Karkat. “Karkat Vantas. Wake up.”

Karkat blinks, and when his eyes open they are back to normal, if fuzzy. “What the...”

He is interrupted by Gamzee physically snatching him into an embrace.

“Get off me, you clownhumping backbirth,” he says, his voice slightly muffled. Gamzee takes not one whit of notice, of course.

“You went into a powerful seeing trance,” you tell Karkat. “It is not an experience to be undertaken lightly or without preparation. I suspected you could be susceptible. Had I known that you would all be joining me in here, I would have left warning.” You pause, and glance at Roxy. “I assume it was you who led them here?”

“Pfft, yeah.” Roxy rolls her eyes as she stands. “These doofuses wanted to go in the main chapel.”

You glance over at John, who still has his ears covered. “You can listen again,” you tell him, slightly louder than is really necessary given that he can certainly hear almost as well as is normal for him.

John removes his hands. “The chapel looked important,” he says. Then he looks around the room. “This place is awesome, though!”

“This place is a viciously spiked claw trap designed to fuck with people idiotic enough to go crawling to gods for help,” says Karkat. He thumps Gamzee on the shoulder. “Seriously, put me down. My legs fucking work. This is humiliating.”

Gamzee drops him and you step close to check his state. His focus is much better. “I can help you interpret what you witnessed.”

“Already got it,” says Karkat. He winces. “And of course, this is all my fucking fault.”

_Blood swells and stains from the floor._

A jolt of understanding runs through you. You almost don't hear John pointing out to Karkat that he can't go around blaming himself for everything, or Gamzee trying to stake out his Karkat-comforting territory.

“He's right,” you say, and the silence is deafening. “Or partially so, at least.” You try to make sense of what you have witnessed in line with your new understanding.

Karkat beats you to it.

“The asshole who's planning to kill everyone and raise them as undead is pissed at me. More specifically, at the Knight of Blood, who fucked him over by being an incompetent asswipe of a god who couldn't save anyone when it fucking counted.”

Briefly startled, you take a few moments to recover. “That would concur with my own assessment. I must say, you seem to be taking it well.”

Karkat shrugs. “I've got a lifetime of shitty visions and disappointment to prepare me for this. Besides, I can sympathise with hating the Knight of Blood and wanting to wreck his shit the way he wrecked yours.”

“But you are the Knight of Blood,” John points out.

“Yeah, well, God Me is a useless asshole,” says Karkat.

“I dunno,” says Roxy, thoughtfully. “Seems to me like maybe destroying everything is such a massive over-reaction. Not your fault if someone else is all, drama much.”

Gamzee nods, hair flopping wildly. “Preach it, my motherfucking shadowy sister.” He grins toothily. “Ain't no fucker wants to be all up and destroying everything what is unless they ain't having no kinds of sense whatsonever.”

“Agreed, but it scarcely matters,” you say. “Karkat, if you are willing to assist me, I think we may be able to glean a better understanding of our situation.”

Karkat wrinkles his nose, opens his mouth, pauses, and then deflates. “Yeah,” he says. “Okay. I can do that.” He rubs a hand across his face. “Why don't you assholes make yourselves useful and see if there's anything worth looting here while we go frolicking in nightmare vision valley?”

“Are you sure you'll be okay?” John asks.

Karkat looks at you. “I'll be fucking fine. I've got the Queen of spooky bullshit vision questing here to keep my head together.”

Gamzee looks at Karkat, then at you, then nods in some private understanding. “Lalonde,” he says, and there's a purr in his voice that grabs at something deep inside you. “You all up and keep my best friend motherfucking safe while he's getting his wise on, you hearing me?”

Perhaps you should be scared, yet you hear not only the threat in his voice but what lies behind it. At some point in the past weeks you have come to understand this man, this monster, this force of rage and destruction in elven form. For now, at least, the Bard of Rage is a mask that Gamzee paints on, and Gamzee is a young man desperately short of rocks to cling to in the storm of his own mind. Until the day that storm sweeps him away, he will cling to anything that he trusts to remain solid.

When that day comes, things will have to change. The Bard of Rage is an entity whose nature cannot be trusted, cannot be relied upon, and cannot be said to truly care for anything. But when that day comes, you are starting to think that it will be a problem for the Seer of Light, and not for Rose at all.

“I can assure you on the name of Lalonde,” you tell the murderous rage-fuelled elf in front of you, “that I will prioritise Karkat's safety above all other considerations while we seek visions together.”

After a moment Gamzee nods. Roxy, on the other hand, gives you a sharp look. She throws her arms around you in a hug.

“Better know what you're doin', sis,” she whispers, and then she's pulling away, leading the others off with loud chatter about vaults and treasure and whatnot.

You look again at Karkat. Raw and untrained and ready to face the might of prophecy with nothing more than determination and an overdeveloped sense of responsibility. He may be one of only a few people who can help you solve this mystery, and may the Gods forgive you, but you need all the help you can get, whether questing together or not. It's a good thing Gamzee is not as observant as your sister; had he noticed the hole in your wording you doubt you'd live long enough to exploit it.

It is still far more than you wish you had promised. The stakes here are simply too high.

“Shall we begin?” you ask Karkat.

### Suggestions Used

_Avel -_ Rose: you can See the entire battle unfold before your eyes, just don't forget to survive the present in the meantime!

_Ailavyn_Siniyash -_ Rose: *See*

_archivalDaeva -_ Karkat: be expected to flip your shit about something and yet your shit remains unflipped. Truly you are a paragon of serenity.

_Sandi -_ Karkat: Be the first to independently meet Rose's group... and eventually shock Rose in that this angry thug is more of a seer than she is.  >:)

_Boondongle -_ Karkat meeting Rose and being a better seer is nice, often straight talking is the solution to most prophecy.

_Signe -_ Gamzee: Get along surprizingly well with the Lalondes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Behold, a chapter! It feels like forever since I wrote this bunch... I should do them more, I like these guys. :)


	158. ==> Kanaya: Meet Some Interesting New People

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Hero point votes:**  
>  Jane 1
> 
> **Current Hero Points:**  
>  John 2/5, Rose 3/5, Dave 2/3, ~~Jade 3/3~~  
>  Karkat 2/5, ~~Gamzee 3/3,~~ Terezi 3/5  
>  ~~Sollux 3/3, Aradia 3/3, Kanaya 5/5~~  
>  Jane 2/5, Jake 4/5, ~~Roxy 3/3,~~ Dirk 2/3

## ==> Kanaya: Meet Some Interesting New People

The faint scent of blooming flowers fades with the light on your hands. You crouch back on your heels and frown at Terezi's red, sightless stare.

“That should have worked,” you say, affronted.

“You're certain it was the right spell?” Jane asks. She's positioned by the external cellar door, but at this juncture it seems unlikely the Cadavers will breach it. Dirk is watching the interior door, which is decidedly less active. Still, it's worth the precautions should they succeed in battering their way into the cottage you have sheltered beneath. Climbing down the chimney to get here was difficult enough that you doubt any of your foes will be managing it soon.

Personally, you cannot say you are entirely unhappy to be trapped in a dark, cool, earthy place full of stored food and alcohol, but even you would be hard pushed to call this an advantageous situation.

“As certain as I can be,” you tell Jane. “Certainly Cure spells were not working, but it seems Remove Curse is no more effective.” You shake your head. “If I were experienced enough to attempt a full Heal...”

“Might not do much good anyway,” says Dirk. “Ain't that right, Inquisitor?”

He addresses Terezi with that last. You bristle. “What, precisely, do you mean to imply?”

A hand on your arm grips tight enough to calm your temper. Perhaps being besieged by undead has left you more out of sorts than you had thought. You follow the hand to Terezi and a chill runs through you when you note that her head is turned so unerringly to Dirk that you might almost think she can see him.

“The Seer is a blind goddess, right?” said Dirk.

Terezi frowns, ever so slightly. “Yes.”

Jane looks between them, her expression even more baffled than you feel. “Could someone explain what in the world you two are on about?”

“Our tangerine trickster is suggesting that perhaps I won't heal because this is not, strictly speaking, damage,” said Terezi. “Or a curse, for that matter.”

“Can't heal a bat of blindness,” Dirk said, nodding.

You rock back on your heels. “A new natural state? Caused by the light?”

“Nobody else was blinded,” Terezi says.

“Nobody else looked at it!” Jane protests. “Kanaya, this is ridiculous!”

“Perhaps,” you say, still frowning. The idea makes you uncomfortable for reasons you can't quite articulate. “We shall see once we find a more capable healer.”

“Have to get out of here first,” says Dirk. You grind your teeth audibly.

“Are you all right?” Jane asks him.

“Sure,” says Dirk. He shrugs. “Why wouldn't I be?”

Strange how you always thought he was such a good liar before.

“You're not worried about Dave?” Jane insists, her tone rising in a way that says plainly she is. You are too. Not that you were overly fond of either aasimar brother, precisely, but for a comrade to vanish so...

“No,” says Dirk, at the same moment Terezi says; “He is.”

There is a pause.

“I can smell it,” says Terezi, almost apologetic.

Dirk sighs and pushes away from the door. “Fine. I'm worried to shit about him. But he's a big boy, and he knows how to take care of himself, and he'll be really fucking disappointed if he comes to find us and we've all been killed in his absence.”

“I don't like that he vanished,” says Terezi. “I miss him too.”

A miserable silence ensues. You miss Sollux and Aradia, and you wish Rose was here. With Terezi blinded and Dirk worried it's so easy to feel lost. And if Rose was here, you know you wouldn't feel so alone. There is something deeply comforting about her presence, a sense of certainty that carries over even into the memory of her.

“We should change watch,” you say, stepping away from Terezi. “Dirk, get some sleep. Jane, I will take your station.”

They switch without complaint. You settle in beside the outer door and take up your sewing. You fixed all the damage to everyone's outfits hours ago; at this point, you're working on matching cloaks made from some bolts of green wool that were stored in crates at the back of the cellar. It's good stuff, soft and well-dyed, and you left a handful of gold on top of the half you haven't touched. You're not a thief. You just need something to do with your hands.

You think this shade of green would look fabulous with silver clasps. You think Dirk might have some experience working with metal- you should ask him about it. At the moment he and Terezi are deep in sleep. Checking on Jane, you see her watching them. No, not them.

A smile crosses your face. “You should say something to her.”

Jane startles. “What?”

“She might well be receptive,” you say, turning a hem and wishing you had more pins. There are already three sticking out of your mouth, so you're talking through the other corner. “You won't know unless you try.”

Jane flushes a deep, burning pink. It's a shocking change, one that took you some time to get used to on the surface. Drow don't blush like that no matter how hard Karkat tries.

“Oh, I don't, er...”

You smile to yourself and bite the thread off.

Terezi sits bolt upright. “Outside!” she shouts. A moment later you hear a racket through the outside door, the roar of fire and clash of steel mingling with the moans of the already-deceased. In a moment you are all four of you on your feet by the outer door and armed, even Terezi. Her head is tilted as if listening.

“It's a small group,” she says. “Warriors in armour and mages. I can smell their spells.”

“You can smell magic?” Jane asks, sounding impressed.

“Can you smell what magic?” says Dirk.

Terezi frowns. “Earth and mushrooms,” she says, and shakes her head. “I don't know.” She listens again. “I think they're winning.”

“The Cadavers, or the people attacking them?” you ask.

Terezi grins, all teeth and sharp edges. “Our heroes.”

Outside falls silent. You all look at one another.

“They could have won,” Jane whispers.

“They could all be dead,” counters Dirk.

“We could all stay here forever,” you point out. Two sunwalkers scowl at you.

Something thumps into the cellar door- once, twice, three times. “Anyone in there?” yells a voice that sounds... not familiar, exactly, but there is something about it that makes you frown and try to solve a puzzle you can't name.

Jane and Dirk move together to lift the bar on the door but you're the one who throws it outward. Light floods in, making your eyes ache once more, and silhouetted in the sun you can see several figures. You blink until they swim into focus.

Your first thought it that they are adventurers, but no... their equipment, battered and used and cared for as if lives depended on it, is too mundane. It is also uniformly black and yellow, and marked with the head of a large cat- a jaguar, perhaps. Looking around you can see a dozen of them, far too many for an adventuring party.

“Mercenaries,” you realise, holding your hand out for the man you presume to be the captain. At any rate, the ones not checking the bodies are looking to him. He's shorter than you would have expected, every inch of him covered in boiled black leather and painted metal plates. “Thank you for the timely intervention.”

He takes your hand and shakes it with surprising dexterity for a man in gauntlets. Perhaps you shouldn't be surprised; he has a blade on each hip, short and crooked things that you don't have a name for but which would take great agility on the part of the wielder.

“Asodai Panthers, Third Company. Glad we could help,” he says, and it was his voice you heard through the door. “Not surprised you couldn't handle it. Don't think we could have if it wasn't for Daria and Fadonis.”

He gestures towards two of the mercenaries who have been hanging back. They're in cloth rather than armour; the blonde aasimar woman carries a staff, the dark-skinned tuatha man a heavy book.

“Always helps when you can get the enemy to fight each other!” he says, waving.

“Necromancers,” Dirk says. “You have necromancers.”

“That a problem?” asks the mercenary captain.

“Problem? I could fucking marry you right now,” says Dirk. Terezi snorts.

“It seems eminently practical,” you say.

“Oh, good,” says the mercenary captain. “And while we're getting things out the way...” He reaches up and pulls off his helmet. White hair springs up from confinement in all directions. “I hope this isn't a problem, either. Shouldn't think so, since you're up here, but you never know.”

You stare at the drow man. He's older than you, his face a little craggy around the edges, his bright yellow eyes shadowed from exhaustion. You can see all the scars and nicks of a seasoned fighter, and the permanent semi-squint of a drow who has lived under the sun for years on end.

He is, age and eye colour and slight variances in bone structure aside, almost a perfect reflection of Karkat.

“No,” you hear yourself saying as Jane gasps behind you. “No, no problem at all.”

### Suggestions Used

_ThunderSoprano -_ Terezi: Worry about your friend who had appeared to have disappeared from everywhere. Oh yeah, smell a smelly sniff.

_Jon -_ Kanaya: Think of Rose before realizing what you're doing

_Ailavyn_Siniyash -_ Kanaya: Think about Rose

_Teogli -_ Kanaya! === >Channel your stress into creating fabulously fashionable (and useful) ensemble for yourself and/or others. Hey, the Felt were pretty sharp dressers, right?

_Ailavyn_Siniyash -_ Jane: contemplate Terezi and consider your crush

_whod99 -_ Necromancers: stand against the undead hordes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope that dramatic reveals make up for shorter chapters! This has been a very busy time, so there was not really opportunity to write more...


	159. ==> Aradia: Touch Something Gross

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Hero point votes:**  
>  Jane 1  
> Terezi 1  
> Jake 1  
> Karkat 1
> 
> **Current Hero Points:**  
>  John 2/5, Rose 3/5, Dave 2/3, ~~Jade 3/3~~  
>  Karkat 2/5, ~~Gamzee 3/3,~~ Terezi 3/5  
>  ~~Sollux 3/3, Aradia 3/3, Kanaya 5/5~~  
>  Jane 2/5, Jake 4/5, ~~Roxy 3/3,~~ Dirk 2/3

## ==> Aradia: Touch Something Gross

Pun-Pun wasn't kidding about not staying; no sooner has the world come back into fuzzy focus than he's vanishing again, a spiral of light and magic that dissolves into the air.

Beside you, Jake groans. “Not more dark bally caves!”

You look around in interest, your eyes adjusting to the gloom. You're in a tunnel of some kind, the walls the kind of slick, bulbous rock that gets laid down over centuries. “Didn't you grow up underground?”

“Dwarf holds are not caves,” says Jake. “And they're not slimy. Or full of foes.”

“We don't know this one is full of foes,” you point out.

Jake gives you a flat look.

“Okay, it probably is,” you agree. You unhook the whip from your hip. Jake's hand hesitates over his new, god-given guns before he draws one, wincing.

“We'll find you some new weapons,” you promise him in a quiet voice.

“I'd rather get the old ones fixed up,” he says, morosely. His free hand fingers the sea-stained leather holding his dwarven guns in place.

You bite your tongue before mentioning that you'd feel better with some solid steel between you and... and whatever is down here. There doesn't seem to be much to choose directions for down here, so you pick one and start walking. Jake hurries past you to stay a step ahead.

“You don't have to,” you whisper.

His mouth tightens into a thin line. “Yes, I do.”

You're not so proud that you won't accept a willing meat-shield. You just wish he had an actual shield to go with it. The two of you edge forward with all the stealth you can muster, but it's obvious that neither of you has ever really practised the skill.

“So what do you know about the City of Shadows?” Jake asks you, still whispering. “All I know is it's some sort of Tiefling hullabaloo.”

“Not much,” you tell him, honestly. “It's a story among Tieflings. The Land Where The Sun Never Shines.”

Jake only nods at this. You are reminded again that despite his species, he is no surface-dweller, and has no immediate love of the sun. “But I thought you were all going there? How do you even know it's real, if it's just a story?”

“It's hard to explain.” You hesitate as you try to put it into words. “It's a feeling. When you're a Tiefling, you know the City is real, and you're drawn there. It's like homing pigeons, I suppose.” That only gets you a blank look. You try to think of a dwarven equivalent. “You know how lodestone always points north?”

“Ah, right.” Jake nods. “So you have spiritual lodestone of sorts. Makes about as much sense as anything, I suppose.”

“It's more than that.” You frown, trying to think of how to explain. “Tieflings... we can't have children like other species. We're all hatched in the north, but we don't know how the eggs get there. Getting to the City, for us, it's like the idea of having children is to elves.” You shrug. “Some of us don't care. Others would do anything.”

Jake nods, brow furrowed in thought. “And no-one ever comes back?”

“No.” You frown as well, because that's one of the reasons you never really wanted to find the City. “There's stories about why. A lot of them sound more hopeful than real.”

“Hmm.” Jake peers around the next corner, then pulls back sharply. You lean past him far enough to see a hulking shadow before he yanks you back. A brief staring contest ensues. You pout when you lose. Noticing a tall rock against the far wall behind you, you tug Jake over to cower behind it. Not a moment too soon, as the creature comes lumbering into sight- its footsteps are too quiet on the stone, especially for the size of the thing.

The bulk of the creature fills the entire tunnel. You find yourself holding your breath as it passes, as if that would give it more space. Jagged edges of a black carapace scratch against the stone, sliding through grooves that have been dug over time immemorial. First you think it looks like a large ape, then an insect; in the end, the only word you can think of that truly describes it is “menacing”.

Jake's hand, cold and dry, finds its way into yours. You squeeze reassuringly, and in turn are reassured.

Without so much as a word spoken, the two of you wait for the creature to pass, then slip off in the direction it came from. You have no desire to meet that thing head-on- or at all, if you have any say in the matter.

Despite yourself you feel a thrill of adventure as you delve deeper into the tunnels. Although they are definitely stone- you even lick one protrusion just to be sure- the layer of moisture and the smoothness gives the sense that you are wading through the bowels of some great monster. Danger and treasure could wait around every bend! Mostly it's just more rocks and darkness, but that doesn't guarantee anything about the next turn, or the next.

Besides all that... if Pun-Pun is to be trusted, then you're somewhere in the City of Shadows. The story of all Tieflings begins and ends here, and you finally have an opportunity to delve into its mysteries. How can you not be excited about that?

From the way the corner of his mouth keeps twitching up, you suspect Jake might be having similar feelings.

“Is this okay?” you ask him.

He looks surprised for a moment. “Oh... yes.” The smile fills his face, warm and genuine. “I think I might be up for the louder sort of adventure again. Although a new shirt wouldn't go amiss.”

You grin back at him.

Your persistence leads you to more populous tunnels, and the two of you start having to duck back at almost every turn. It's always more of the hulking shapes- you've not seen a single tiefling yet, and the thought makes you edgy. Has Pun-Pun left you in the wrong place? If so, where are you? And what are these things?

Retreating from a pair of the large creatures, you find yourselves in a short tunnel that ends abruptly in a wooden door. Jake tries the handle and finds it unlocked; he pushes it open and you both stop in surprise. It leads out onto a stone ledge that overlooks a large chamber like a balcony. A stone path runs down the wall to the ground level, where dozens of the monsters are hard at work moving sealed metal jugs to and from immense racks of shelves. You jump slightly as one almost directly beneath you snaps out a pair of wings and takes to the air in buzzing, insectile flight. It careens like a drunken bumblebee towards one end of the storeroom, where an opening the size of a house reveals cold daylight and crashing waves, and leaves with a jar clutched close to its carapace.

“Not sure I'm that gung-ho for another dunk,” Jake whispers. You nod agreement. There has to be another way out of here!

“Let's see what they're carrying,” you whisper back, and before Jake can object you start scampering down the ramp to the ground level. There are few enough hulks around that avoiding them is simple enough; you crouch behind the nearest shelf until the coast is clear, then start unscrewing the head of the nearest jar.

“Give a chap some blasted warning,” Jake hisses as he drops down beside you. Then he tries to peer over your shoulder. “What've you got?”

“Not sure.” You dip a finger in and pull it out. It glimmers in the reflected light, the same mustard yellow as Sollux's blood. “Not sure I want to know.”

Jake turns a little green around the edges. “You don't think that's...”

You sniff your finger. “Not blood.” You wrinkle your nose in disgust. “Eurgh.”

“You're upset because it's not blood?”

“Adventurer, remember? Blood I can do.” You try to wipe your finger off without getting any of it on you anywhere else. “If I'm right, this is way grosser.” Jake looks at you with obvious confusion, so you clarify. “I think this might be where baby Tieflings come from.”

“Oh.” Jake looks at the jar again, and his face screws up. “Ew.”

You carefully screw the lid back on the jar. Washing your hands sounds great about now.

“Still, they have to get it down here somewhere,” Jake whispers. “We get looking for that route.”

You nod in agreement and the two of you start backing up, aiming for the stone ramp and the tunnels once again. Your plans are foiled in an instant as you step out from behind the shelves at the exact moment one of the hulks rounds the end of it.

There is a frozen moment as you stare at each other. Then the monster bellows. Jake grabs your arm and tugs, and you're running.

A swarm of the monsters take to the air as you race up the ramp. You hear the heavy thuds of them landing just as you shoot through the door, slamming it behind you. There's no time to remember which way you took to get here; at the end of the corridor you wheel left and keep running. When a shadow looms ahead of you, you dart to the side. There's a low thrum in the air, an alarm that buzzes in your bones, and you've never felt quite as alive as you do right now.

Another shadow looms ahead; you spin on the spot and start running, only to careen to a halt as four tieflings step out in front of you. Jake crashes into your back. You stare at the four of them; their eyes are the same Jade green as Kanaya's, although unlike your drow friend you know their blood will match. They're all armoured in black over jade robes, and they have halberds lowered at you.

“Stand down!” one of them challenges, her voice stern. “You will surrender or be destroyed!”

You glance at Jake, who scowls and holsters his gun before raising his hands. “Just tell me the truth,” he mutters. “Do I have a sign saying abduct me taped to my back?”

“Nope,” you say, dropping your whip and raising your own hands. The Tieflings start a cautious approach, and you can feel something huge looming behind you. “But look on the bright side. At least they're not killing us yet!”

Jake sighs as his arms are roughly wrested behind his back. As your own are yanked down, you think you could echo the sentiment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Couldn't really find any suggestions for Aradia or Jake that would move them forward, here. I'm a bit sparse on the ground with suggestions for these two!
> 
> I'm trying to focus on shorter chapters where plot moves a bit at the moment- I'm having trouble finding writing time, and I really want this story to move, so that seems like the best solution! Hope you're all enjoying the fic. :)
> 
> These tunnels were at least partially inspired by the obscene amount of sneaking around I've done in Elder Scrolls games.


	160. -- LUNAR LORDS: ALRESCHA --

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Hero point votes:**  
>  Jane 1  
> Terezi 1  
> Jake 1  
> Karkat 1  
>  ~~Aradia 1~~ \- ALREADY MAX HERO POINTS  
>  A DRAW HAS OCCURRED! D4 Roll - In Order Listed (1-4)  
> ROLL = 3  
> JAKE GAINS ONE HERO POINT!  
> Voting now open for the next Hero Point award: one person will get one after three chapters. 
> 
> **Current Hero Points:**  
>  John 2/5, Rose 3/5, Dave 2/3, ~~Jade 3/3~~  
>  Karkat 2/5, ~~Gamzee 3/3,~~ Terezi 3/5  
>  ~~Sollux 3/3, Aradia 3/3, Kanaya 5/5~~  
>  Jane 2/5, Jake 5/5, ~~Roxy 3/3,~~ Dirk 2/3

## FEFERI PEIXES, LORD OF ALRESCHA

_Undying Empress, Lady of the Oceans, Seaqueen, Starsister_

ALIGNMENT: Neutral Good

PORTFOLIO: Protection, Immortality, Sacrifice, Deep Places

DOMAINS: Magic (Divine), Healing, Water (Oceans), Good

FAVOURED WEAPON: Double-Headed Trident

THE LORD OF ALRESCHA is the personification of the deep ocean, benevolent rulership, and life prolonged. Although largely held to be a friend to mortals, only the unwise forget that her realm is home only to the inhuman and the dead.

LUNAR PLANE  
THE PLANE OF ALRESCHA is a great darkness spotted with small lights, sometimes like the ocean depths and sometimes like the night sky. Approaching those lights shows them to be palaces and temples anchored on nothingness; vast and beautiful workings of coral and stone unconstrained by the logic of two dimensions.

Visitors to the plane most often meet Alresha herself. She keeps the other denizens away to avoid frightening guests, but those who have offended her and survived report strange creatures, squamous and tentacled, wearing her temples as shells. Others tell of meeting the drowned in her kingdom, content and happy in ships of coral but still with the pallid skin and blank eyes of death.

From the Prime Material Plane, Alrescha has the appearance of a modestly-sized pink moon. Its orbit leaves it eclipsed more often than most, and when conditions are right it turns a deep, bloody purple and hangs low in the sky. Tales say that when the moon is full travels over water will be safe, and that when eclipsed entire ships will be lost.

RELATIONSHIPS  
THE LORD OF ANTARES is a thorn in the side of Alrescha. She often interferes, drowning visitors to Alrescha's plane to evict them or else drowning the unwary in the Prime Material. Many of Alrescha's permanent formerly mortal residents were rescued from Antares' clutches. When the planes are in conjunction, most refuse to sail, afraid of becoming caught in an unceasing tug-of-war between the two Lunar Lords.

THE LORD OF ALDEBARAN is a friend to Alrescha. Although they live in different worlds, they value many of the same things, and often ally together against threats and for common goals. The conjunction of their planes creates a border to the infinite deeps and the endless plains both, and on that border they celebrate together with music and dancing that can ensnare the unwary forever.

THE LORD OF SADALMELIK has long been Alrescha's most reviled enemy. Once, long ago, it is said they were close, but whatever transpired between them has turned that affection to a fierce hatred. Alrescha does all she can to avoid him, but when their planes are in conjunction she cannot. He sends his monsters and slaves to hunt her denizens, and she leads the battle in defence of her realm. In this she is always victorious, but at high cost to the Prime Material Plane.

THE LORD OF RUKBAT is distastefully respectful of Alrescha. He lacks her love of and patience with mortals, and dislikes her denizens, but approves of her unquestioned authority. Conjunctions between these planes are formalised by stiff state visits, one to the other; they are said to be good times for political manoeuvring and making allies of old enemies.

THE LORD OF REGULUS loves to play, and Alrescha is a willing playmate. When their planes are in conjunction it is said to cause a kind of drunken madness in the susceptible, as the two Lunar Lords chase, pretend, and laugh together like young children. The stars are clearer on these nights, but sleeplessness and nightmares may plague those with magical blood.

APPEARANCE AND ATTENDANTS  
THE LORD OF ALRESCHA appears as either a merrow or a tiefling with long, wild hair that floats like seaweed in the ocean. She wears a golden circlet on her brow and brightly-coloured layers of clothing that billow around her. Her webbed feet are always bare. Although her countenance is usually friendly, in anger she shows sharp, sharklike fangs and nails that grow to claws. It is also thought that the ghostly fire that sometimes lines ships in a storm is a sign of her presence, although whether it is protecting the ship or preparing to take it once it sinks is a matter of debate.

Her attendants are the drowned and the lost, whom she keeps safe and happy in her realm, and small glowing sea creatures that she loves like pets. She also keeps around her great monsters, things with tentacles and beaks and rows of terrible fangs, building them shells which become her palaces once they are shed.

CULTS  
Most sailors have at least a shrine to Alrescha, who is associated with safe sea voyages and the protection of the drowned. Her largest cults, however, can be found amongst the Merrow clans, who consider her to be the mother and Queen of their people and who pray to her for intercession against Sadalmelik.

Less commonly, she is worshipped by healers who revere her life-giving powers, or even adventurers who wish to delve into wonders none other has seen. She does not accept the worship of pirates or murderers, capsizing those foolish enough to try, and it is a bold mutineer who makes a move without first seeking the Lady's Favour.

Alrescha grants her power mostly to Clerics and Oracles, having a distaste for the harsher nature of Inquisitors and Paladins. She is willing to favour Druids, but few choose to ask, and so those she has are treasured as guardians of the waters.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **This is a reminder that all readers may make one (1) suggestion per chapter posted, and one (1) hero point vote per round of voting. Additional suggestions or votes will be discarded.**
> 
> It's happened a few times lately, so I thought a reminder was in order! :) Also I post how many hero points people have at the start of each chapter, so keep an eye on those!
> 
> Just as a warning, I'm having computer difficulties (Blue Screen of Death variety) and while I will do my best to keep schedule, I can't guarantee that I'll be able to write, post, or tell you that my computer has suddenly become a smoking wreck. Hopefully that won't happen but if suddenly I don't post and there's no explanation, that's why. That is also why this chapter is not being announced on Tumblr; I'm posting on my spouse's computer, I have no idea what my Tumblr password is, and I have no patience to go through the route of resetting it just now.
> 
> So, that said- once I'm done with the Lunar Lords, what would people like to see as filler?


	161. ==> Roxy: Be The Rogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Hero point votes:**  
>  Jane 1  
> Voting now open for the next Hero Point award: one person will get one after three chapters. 
> 
> **Current Hero Points:**  
>  John 2/5, Rose 3/5, Dave 2/3, ~~Jade 3/3~~  
>  Karkat 2/5, Gamzee 2/3, Terezi 3/5  
>  ~~Sollux 3/3, Aradia 3/3, Kanaya 5/5~~  
>  Jane 2/5, ~~Jake 5/5,~~ Roxy 2/3, Dirk 2/3

## ==> Roxy: Be The Rogue

“’S down this way,” you tell your two cohorts, leading them down another winding staircase through the silent Starspire Temple. “I d’know why, but these Lighty types got a thing for putting all the important stuff on the left.”

“But then how do you know when to stop going left?” John asks. He’s frowning in confusion. It’s adorable.

You put a finger up to his lips. “Shush. I have been bustin’ through these sortsa temples since I was, like, barely even hatched. I got you.” You glance back to the third member of your party, who is dawdling and looking back over his shoulder every third step. “C’mon, Gamzee, you don’t wanna get lost down here.”

The look he turns on you is… well, Rosie would call it baleful, probably, but really it’s just a super-convincing kind of grouchy. You slip back and wrap an arm around his, wilfully ignoring the way he tenses like he’s about to lash out.

“He’s gonna be okay,” you tell him. “Don’t worry. Rosie promised.”

“If he ain’t, it’s you what’s gonna all up and get motherfucking hurt,” Gamzee growls. He glares at you through slitted eyes. “I’ll motherfucking rip out her heart like she done mine.”

“Hey!” John whirls to glare at him. “Don’t you dare hurt Roxy! I’ll kick your butt!”

By your feet, Frigglish hisses at them both. You hold up your hands. “How’s about nobody hurts nobody and we all just go look for treasure?” You waggle a finger at John. “It’s sweet you wanna stand up for me, but I can deal with shit myself.” You turn back to Gamzee. “And you, chill. You don’t gotta be threatening people to get what you want all the time. You’d make way more friends being nice to people. Also, if you threaten me again, I will set your ass on fire and cover you in spiders.” You stop to consider the scope of your illusions, then add; “Big, hairy ones.”

Gamzee regards you inscrutably, then nods once, sharply. Frigglish stops hissing and starts to clean his paw.

“Good,” you say, and resume leading them through the bowels of the temple. The staircase soon leads to another corridor, and you walk past walls painted with murals of historical events. A few of them you’re pretty sure never happened.

“I think these are prophecies?” you say, staring up at the depiction of a burning temple being torn apart by a mob. Gold-robed priests are being… okay, you do not envy whoever had that vision. Gross.

“Look at this one,” says John. He’s being too quiet, and his eyes are as round as coins. You join him and look up at a depiction of fourteen hatchlings. Their features are indistinct, but above each of them is the symbol of one of the gods. The artist has helpfully divided the Celestial and Infernal deities, and you do a quick count; on one side four dark-haired tuatha and four golden aasimaar, on the other four drow, one tiefling and… the last one is hard to pin down. Grey skin and white hair, surrounded by an aura of red and blue.

The symbols are shown descending on bright lines from what you recognise as a standard artistic rendition of the Axis of the Cosmos.

“It’s us,” says John. “They knew.”

You stare at it. The Starspire comes from a different worship tradition than the Church of Light; it’s not as if they would have had to spread this. But…

Behind you, Gamzee growls. You echo the sentiment with a scowl. Frigglish starts lashing his tail.

“C’mon,” you say, and turn away from the wall. It’s not telling you anything you didn’t know already.

“I don’t get it,” says John. “We’re gods and this proves it. Isn’t that awesome?”

You chew your lip as you try to figure out the answer, but Gamzee beats you to it. “Gods what ain’t claiming on the power what’s rightfully theirs ain’t no divine ruling motherfucker,” he says. “You got these priestly motherfuckers all up and getting all them other people to get their worship on with gold and respect; you think they’re wanting some motherfucking gods all showing up to ruin their shit?”

“He’s right,” you tell John. “Me ‘n Rose, we’re s’posed to be prophets. But we had to run away to get shit done.” You shrug. “’M not sayin’ there aren’t some awesome priests and clerics out there, or that the Church never helped anyone. But if you rock the boat too much, they’re either gonna strap you to the mast or shove you over the side.”

“Motherfucking preach it, sister,” says Gamzee.

“So basically, unless we can reclaim like, our full godly might and come to all these High Priests and Priestesses like _raargh raargh do what I say or smitings,_ ‘s probably better they don’t know,” you finish.

John considers this. “So we should get our god powers back fast, then? And not just because of the zombie apocalypse?”

You and Gamzee share another look.

“Nnnnooo,” you say. “I mean, being a god, that’s not like being a wizard or a sorcerer or whatever.”

“It’s all being bigger than what you are, my brother,” says Gamzee.

“Like caterpillars,” you say, as a brainwave strikes. “They spend all their life eating to turn into a chrysalis, but then once they do they kinda just melt into mush inside. The butterfly comes from them, but it isn’t the same. Maybe it doesn’t even remember being a caterpillar at all.”

“So… we’re caterpillars?” John shudders. “I don’t think I like butterflies any more.”

You reach out and squeeze his hand. “Hey. It’s gonna be okay.”

He smiles at you and despite the chill of the corridor, you feel warm. He stumbles a little as Frigglish starts winding around his feet.

“Hey, check it,” says Gamzee, and you look up to see a large door ahead. It’s ornately carved stone, covered in ornate demons and gilded around the arch. There is a truly imposing brass keyhole in the centre.

“The vault!” You ignore the door and turn to the right-hand wall.

“Um, Roxy? What are you doing?” asks John.

“Looking for the real door,” you tell him. “These guys are sneaky. No way that’s the way in.”

“But I thought stuff was always on the left?” John says, puzzled.

“Well, yeah,” you say, pressing your cheek close to the stone to examine the mural. “That’s why really hidden stuff is on the right. Duh.”

Frigglish mews and paws at the edge of the image. You crouch closer and feel the slight breeze.

“Okay, found it,” you say, then step back to contemplate how you’re going to open this thing. Maybe if you… no, wait… there’s a recess… nope… maybe that bit…

The world falls away. There is only you and the door. You can almost feel the shape of it, almost sense how to open what you know is there.

Almost.

“Damn it!” Temper washes over you in a red-hot wave. You kick at the crack where you know the opening is. Your foot hits one of the stars in the decorative border and with a creak of stone it sinks in. The rest of the door rumbles as it slides aside.

“...huh.”

Gamzee grins and pats you on the shoulder as he slips past. “Nicely done, my motherfucking sister.”

You and John follow after Gamzee and Frigglish, through a dark, narrow entryway and out into a vaulted chamber. Part of you had been expecting heaps of gold- or hoping for, maybe. Instead what you find is a chamber full of shelving. Ornate boxes line them, many of them dusty; pigeonholes hold rolled scrolls and weapons are displayed on individual racks.

It’s smaller than you had been imagining it, too, but when you add it up there’s probably more of value in here than you’ve seen ever.

“Are we even allowed to take this stuff?” John whispers.

“Ain’t like anyone’s gonna up and motherfucking stop us,” says Gamzee, hefting a halberd from one of the racks.

You shrug. “Someone’s gonna loot it,” you say. “And we’re gods, right? ‘S practically ours anyway.”

“I guess,” says John. He opens one of the small boxes and his eyes go wide. “Oh, wow!”

You are distracted by a clatter and turn to see Gamzee idly juggling… well, you have no idea what those are, but they have blades on both ends and they’re surrounded by a miasmic aura of horror and death, so you’re pretty sure they’re not for juggling.

“Where did you even find those?” you ask him.

“Over there, my most magical sister.” He nods towards a rack then keeps going. You give him a wide berth on the way around. You didn’t even know he could juggle, and you’re not sure you want to be close if it turns out he can’t.

“Karkat is gonna be real upset if you get hurt,” you say, fishing a dagger from the same rack. It’s a funny-looking thing, all wicked points and edges, and it makes you uneasy just holding it. The feeling goes away once you replace it in the sheath, so you pick them both up. Your enemies could do with being more afraid.

“Ain’t even to being a thing,” Gamzee says. He stops juggling and grins at you. “Bard’s all up to knowing how that wicked shit works, even if I ain’t.”

“It really doesn’t bother you?” You walk closer. “The butterfly thing?”

“Shit, I ain’t even up to knowing what one o’ them buttery flies even is being,” says Gamzee. He looks over at John, still rifling through the shelves, and lowers his voice. “I spent most of all what was my life being all scared and shit of that motherfucker. Ran away from his motherfucking rage any what way I could, made myself even more of a motherfucking disgrace to my kin.” He looks, away, not meeting your eyes, and glares at the ground. “Those motherfuckers… it’s like you were all saying, about up and controlling some shit. They was more scared than what I was up to being. All too motherfucking happy to keep me locked up, in my room, in my head...” He trails off. “It fucking hurts. It motherfucking hurts.”

“Yeah,” you say, and look back over at John. “Like, I started drinking because I hated being trapped. One stupid mark and everyone thinks they own you, am I right?”

“Fuck, yeah,” says Gamzee.

“’N now I’ve stopped and even though the really awful hurty bit is over-” and thank fuck you’d had magical healing on hand for that- “I still just wanna fucking drink.”

“It’s motherfucking easier, being some other motherfucker what don’t have none of that shit all up inside them none,” says Gamzee.

“Yeah,” you say. “’Cept the Rogue ain’t some huge murdery asshole like the Bard.”

You grin at him sidelong, and are rewarded by a slow, slitting grin. In the light, Gamzee’s teeth look like sharp points.

“Shit, sister, you got some motherfucking guts,” he says. One long arm wraps around your shoulder and he leans in to whisper. “Hope I don’t never got to show them to you.”

You shrug his shoulder off and push him away. “You are such a fucking creep!”

He winks at you. You’re really not sure what that means.

“Hey, guys, there is so much cool stuff in here!” John comes running over with a small cat-shaped figurine, carved from white marble. “Hey, Roxy, doesn’t this look like Frigglish?”

“Yeah!” You look around, and your smile fades. “Frigglish?”

There’s a clatter and a yowl, then your familiar backs out from between two shelves, back arched and hissing.

“What did you find?” you ask him.

John darts in. “Looks like a bag of… dice?” He sets the cat figurine on a low shelf, and Frigglish stretches up to touch its nose with his own in a display of delicate catty curiosity. John picks up the bag, holding his hand out to show you the shimmering blue die. It’s not the usual six-sided cube; this one is more diamond-shaped and has eight sides. “There’s eight of them.”

Something about that pokes at a memory, but you can’t bring it to mind. It makes you uneasy, though. “Maybe you should put them down.”

“Why? They’re just dice.” John turns and, before you can stop him, rolls the one he’s holding on the shelf beside him. “See? Nothing to-”

In a puff of blue smoke, he and the dice vanish into thin air.

“John!” You lurch forward, but too late; he’s gone. Panic starts to pound in your blood. Not John, please, not him…

“Don’t worry, Roxy!” says a squeaky voice from floor level. You look down to see Frigglish looking up at you with wide green eyes.

“I know how we can get him back,” your familiar says, and despite everything a single thought blots out everything else in your head.

That is the _cutest thing ever._

### Suggestions Used

 _ATT -_ Roxy: Do some snooping, Be the rogue

 _archivalDaeva -_ Roxy: be the rogue, take shit

 _Yuurei arashii -_ Gamzee: Juggle something scary.

 _Woe Kitten -_ Roxy: find a magic dagger

 _pringles -_ roxy and gamzee: bond over addiction recovery and help each other stay sober on your trip to the star spire

 _AmazonKat -_ Frigglish: Do something adorable that turns out to be plot relevant.

 _Antartique -_ John: Roll the eight-faced dice!

 _dfr –_ Frigglish: Do something magic-y that suddenly reminds everyone you're much more than just an ordinary kitty!

 _mzingalwa -_ Frigglish/Jaspers: come into contact with a weird magic artifact and gain the ability to talk

### System Notes

 **Open the Secret Door: DC30**  
Roxy’s Disable Device check = 24  
ROXY DOES NOT SUCCEED IN OPENING THE DOOR.  
Roxy spends 1 Hero Point: 2/3 remain  
+4 TO RESULT  
Gamzee spends 1 Hero Point: 2/3 remain  
+2 TO RESULT  
TOTAL 30: SECRET DOOR OPENED!

Gamzee spends 1 hero point for juggling. 1/3 remain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New computer acquired! Apologies for the unexpected break. Here we open with Gamzee and Roxy, two of my favourite characters to write. :)
> 
> Thank you everyone for reading. Your comments sustain me like precious water.
> 
> It is so fucking hot here right now. About 26C/79F and 50% humidity. Pretty sure yesterday was hotter. Maybe some of you are from hot places and laughing at me right now but fuck you THERE IS NO RESIDENTIAL AIR-CON IN THIS COUNTRY AND OUR BUILDINGS ARE ALL DESIGNED TO TRAP THE HEAT INSIDE THERE IS NO ESCAPE I AM GOING TO GO STICK MY HEAD IN THE FRIDGE NOW.
> 
> Edit: It is now 29C/84F and about 40% humidity. The dog is sad.


	162. ==> Sollux: Meet A Wizard

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Hero point votes:**  
>  Gamzee 4  
> Jane 1  
> Roxy 1  
> Voting now open for the next Hero Point award: one person will get one after three chapters. 
> 
> **Current Hero Points:**  
>  John 2/5, Rose 3/5, Dave 2/3, ~~Jade 3/3~~  
>  Karkat 2/5, Gamzee 2/3, Terezi 3/5  
>  ~~Sollux 3/3, Aradia 3/3, Kanaya 5/5~~  
>  Jane 2/5, ~~Jake 5/5,~~ Roxy 2/3, Dirk 2/3

## ==> Sollux: Meet A Wizard

You regard the crack in the stone with deep and abiding suspicion.

“You’re sure this is the right place?” asks Jade. She doesn’t sound any more convinced than you.

Luress folds her arms. “You asked me to find him. I found him.” She gestures towards the crack, which is barely large enough for you to squeeze through if you turn sideways. “This is where he wants to meet. He’s a paranoid ass.”

Jade looks at you. You shrug.

“Thank you,” she says.

Luress looks at you both with an expression you can’t quite read. Like fear, but not quite. “This is it, isn’t it?”

“Thith ith what?” you ask. You’re not willing to try and parse this bullshit.

She smiles. “Never mind. I’d say gods be with you, but, well...”

“I know,” says Jade. Neither of you smile. Luress backs away down the slope, heading back towards the spires of the city. You, Jade and Bec are left alone by the cavern wall.

“Are you ready for this?” Jade asks.

You wrap your hand around the amulet that contains the ghost of Sir Cosbie. “Who the fuck ever ith?”

She grins then, a quick flash of teeth blunter than yours ever were. “Good point.” Turning sideways, she worms through the crack in the rock, Bec flowing after her like he doesn’t even have bones. You take a deep breath and squeeze in after. You bump your horns a couple of times, but soon you’re standing in a tunnel wide enough for the two of you to stand abreast. It’s barely a thought to summon a small light, flickering red and blue in your palm.

“This way,” says Jade, taking the right fork. She looks strange in the light you’ve made, all the wrong colours and shadows making her something other than elven.

The caves aren’t anything special, really; not as worked as the tunnels around a dwarf hold or drow city, not as wide and shadowy as the Deep Caverns. Just an overextended fault in the rock that happens to be wide enough to use as a road. You keep travelling until you see a flickering light up ahead. Wordlessly, you extinguish your own; Jade’s ears twitch, and although she doesn’t draw a weapon you know she’s ready for anything.

The cave you step into is barely worthy of the name, a widening in the tunnel just large enough to fit a couple of three-legged stools. A small fire is hovering above the stone in the centre, a heavy pack leaning against a wall. The tiefling sitting between the two is tall and ragged, his face lined with worries more than age. His robes might once have been expensive, and the brooch that pins his cloak bears the symbol of the Arcane Isle.

He has your build, your horns, your hair. His eyes are different, though. They are normal for a tiefling, with mustard-yellow irises.

“Tho.” You drop onto the stool opposite him. “Mariuth Wordweaver, I athume?”

He looks at you with a complete lack of surprise. “And you must be Sollux.” He turns, just briefly. “And Jade, of course.”

You open your mouth to ask what he knows about Sir Cosbie’s quest, about the Amulet of Guidance, about where your missing idiots are, about how to escape this sticking asscrack of a city….

“Why?” you ask instead, and your voice cracks.

“Why?” he echoes. One eyebrow arches, the perfect dickhead. “You’ll have to be more specific than that.”

Your fists clench. The air around you crackles. “Why?” you ask again. “That’th the whole quethtion, athhole. You’re thmart enough to underthtand. Why.”

“You owe him that,” says Jade. She sits on the rock beside you. Bec pushes his nose between the two of you in a way you’re almost tempted to think of as comforting.

Marius sighs. “That is… a long story.”

You rip the amulet off your neck and throw it at him. “Tell it to the ghotht. I want to know why you weren’t there.”

Marius catches the amulet out of the air and stares at it. “William?”

A chill mist rises from the amulet. Another form appears on your other side. Sir Cosbie looks more solid than ever, a pearlescent elven warrior resplendent with the aura of the grave.

 _“Explain yourself, Marius,”_ he says. _“What became of you all, that you left my body behind? I thought you dead.”_

Marius bows his head. He rubs his eyes with one hand. “We fled the Deep Caverns after we lost you. Injured and under-strength, we were in a poor way. We were wounded, exhausted. Maura was out of ammunition, and we could not afford the time to rest or pray. We made it to the surface barely intact. We had barely made camp when the bandits struck.”

“It was a bad time for travellers,” says Jade.

“With Nathaniel and I powerless, it was all we could do to survive and flee again.” Marius shakes his head. “We soon realised your egg had been left behind, but by then it was too late. Alekor was almost mad with desperation.”

“Alekor?” you echo. You remember the name; the drow who had helped them, whose name the Bone Maiden had given to Karkat. “Why would he care about me?”

Marius meets your eyes. “The price for Alekor’s help was safe passage to the surface. For himself, for his wife, and for his children.”

 _“It was a noble cause,”_ says Sir Cosbie.

“It was foolhardy. We were unprepared,” says Marius, and shudders. “In the end, you were the only one of his kin we could save, and you had already been transformed beyond responding to normal hatching magics. I offered my services. Clearly I succeeded.”

 _“And what of the others? Of Nathaniel and Maura?”_ Sir Cosbie asks.

“We parted ways some time ago.” Marius turns to face the ghost. “I wanted to research the Amulet of Guidance, resume our quest. Nathaniel insisted we should aid Alekor as we had promised. And Maura wanted to return home. After what happened- without you- she lost her taste for adventure.”

“And you ended up thtuck here,” you finish. “Remind me to never thtake my life on your rethearch.”

“Yours hardly seems better,” says Marius. He turns to the ghost. “William, I am sorry. If we had been able to return for you, we would have.”

The ghost lets out a long sigh. _“But you live? You all live?”_

“Last I knew, we did,” says Marius. He reaches out, and his hand passes through Sir Cosbie’s spectral one. “You can rest easy, old friend.”

 _“They live.”_ Sir Cosbie turns to you. _“My thanks for your aid, but it seems I have no need for vengeance after all.”_

“Tho what now?” you ask the ghost.

He smiles. You see the rock through him and realise with a jolt that he is slowly fading. _“Now I continue the journey I began so long ago. May you have my blessing as you continue yours.”_

“Wait!” You reach for him, but your hand closes on smoke and air. Sir Cosbie is gone. You turn back to Marius, and he holds out the amulet. It glows an ethereal green that you doubt would show up in the light of day.

“I believe this is yours,” says the wizard who is, after all, not your father. You take the amulet and slip it back over your neck. Whatever properties the ghost has left behind can be identified later.

“If that is all-” Marius stands to leave.

“No, it is not!” Jade stands too, getting in his way. “We need your help.”

He glares down his nose at her. “What makes you think I can give it?” He gestures to his tattered robes. “I am hardly respected here.”

Jade folds her arms. “You’re really smart, a powerful wizard, and if you’re anything like Sollux, you’re a stubborn butt. Don’t play harmless with me.”

Marius looks over at you. “And you? Do you want my help?”

“I want to get out of thith thithole,” you say. “And if I wath in your plathe, I’d have a plan.”

“We need to find three people, too,” says Jade. “They came down here with us. Only one was a tiefling.” She juts her chin out. “We drew attention.”

Marius looks between the two of you, snorts, and sits back down. “Adventurers.”

“Damn thtraight,” you say. You lean forwards. “Tho thpill. What can we do?”

Marius leans in. You and Jade do the same; even Bec shoves his nose in, in a blast of hot stench. “I know where you need to go. Your friends are likely in the Condesce’s dungeons; that’s where intruders end up. She needs to interrogate them, find out how they arrived.”

“So how do we get them out?” Jade asks.

“You don’t,” Marius tells her. “Just like you don’t get out of the city. There’s only one exit, and even if we could reach it, we wouldn’t survive using it. Not unless you can fly.”

“I can fly,” you and Jade say, at once.

“For hours at a time?” Marius asks. “Carrying people who can’t?”

You are both silent.

“It can’t be done,” says Marius. He sits back on his stool, leaning against the rock. “I’ve had years to try and think of a way.”

“That can’t be right.” You scowl. “Ath the thaying goeth: if it’th alive, we can kill it, and if it’th not-”

“-we can set it on fire,” Marius finishes. “I was an adventurer like you. But we can’t set an entire city alight.”

There is another pause.

“...why not?” you ask.

### Suggestions Used

 _whod99 -_ Sollux: find an unlikely clue to the fate of your anscestor and Cosbie's quest  
 _zang269 -_ Sollux: consider old adventurer saying involving fire

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Having only recently come across who the fuck Bill Cosbie is (and that is stretching the definition of knowing shit) I am sorta regretting not googling before using that suggestion.
> 
> Ah well.
> 
> Some may think that the revelations in this chapter are not “unlikely”. To those individuals, I would put forth the following reminder: Alekor, who in this chapter is clearly Sollux’s father, is the drow that the Bone Maiden thought Karkat would recognise despite never having met him, and a couple of chapters ago Kanaya and co. met a mercenary who looked a lot like Karkat. Also, Karkat has a bunch of drider siblings, and something was done to Sollux’s egg that weirded up the hatching process.
> 
> There. That should be enough pieces of this jigsaw of unlikely and melodramatic character backstory. Have fun with that.


	163. ==> Dirk: Find Things You Don’t Expect

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Hero point votes:**  
>  Gamzee 4  
> Jane 1  
> Roxy 1  
> John 1
> 
>  **Current Hero Points:**  
>  John 2/5, Rose 3/5, Dave 2/3, Jade 3/3  
> Karkat 2/5, Gamzee 2/3, Terezi 3/5  
> Sollux 3/3, Aradia 3/3, Kanaya 5/5  
> Jane 2/5, Jake 5/5, Roxy 2/3, Dirk 2/3

## ==> Dirk: Find Things You Don’t Expect

The third company of the Asodai Panthers are not the only ones camped over the ridge. You walk through a bustling camp and note the clusters of tents. Some of them have no flags. Others belong to groups that have rivalries older than nations. You pass a knot of white-clad Light Paladins polishing their swords only yards away from a band of adventurers proudly flying a Blood banner; nearby you see a knot of farmers and a cleric of Breath sharing a fire with half a dozen Rage-painted orcs. Alekor, the mercenary captain who looks like Karkat, hesitates in his path when it looks like a fight is about to erupt between a woman in a battered guard uniform and a scarred man in worn, mismatched leathers. Before he can step in they are interrupted by a tiny yellow kobold who blows furious bubbles at them. Her lack of stature is more than made up for by the staff she carries and the small animate skeletons following behind her. She looks oddly familiar under her cloak.

It seems the end of the world makes for motivation to work together.

“Did you gather all these people?” asks Jane.

Alekor stifles a snort. “Fuck, no.” He waves a hand to the eclectic army. “Times like these, people like to find the biggest armed mob and stick with it.”

“It is your army, though,” says Kanaya. It’s not a question.

“Who the fuck else was going to lead it?” Alekor asks. He sighs and runs a hand through his hair. “It’s complicated.”

“Not really.” You’ve been looking. “Most of these people aren’t military. You can’t have more than a handful of officers here, and most of those will be used to smaller commands.” You tilt your head as you look at Alekor. “Sucks to be you, dude.”

“Tell me about it.” Alekor stops near the centre of the camp, where the black and yellow of the Panthers forms a sizeable swathe of canvas. He holds aside the flap of the largest, and you step inside, pausing briefly to see if Terezi needs help. She doesn’t. If you didn’t know better, you’d swear she could see the guide ropes she steps over.

“So.” Alekor lets the tent flap fall and walks to the flimsy table in the centre. “You know my son.”

“I assume so,” says Kanaya. She shifts, eyes flickering around the tent. It’s darker than you’d expect- thicker canvas to protect Drow eyes. “It would seem strange that he look so much like you, otherwise.”

Alekor sits down. “My son,” he says. Now you look awkwardly around. There’s too much emotion in the words for you.

“Hey,” you say. He looks up. “I don’t really know Karkat, so I’m gonna take a walk, okay?”

Alekor waves a hand to the exit. “Be careful. I don’t know everyone here.”

“Shit, I don’t know anyone here,” you say, and duck out. A moment later Jane follows you.

“I don’t really know him either,” she says. She looks at you sidelong. “Are you all right?”

“Sure.” You take a deep breath, inhale woodsmoke and leather and death. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

Jane folds her arms.

“Fuck.” You can’t meet her eyes. “Okay, yes. It sucks. It’s not logical and it’s pretty fucking embarrassing, actually.”

“Why’s it not logical?” Jane moves around into your eyeline. “We found Karkat’s father. You have to be wondering about your parents.”

Your fist starts to clench. With an effort you release it. “Dave and I have a family. They raised us. I don’t care about anyone else.”

“Really.” Jane raises an eyebrow.

“Yes, really.” You stop and take a breath, settling your nerves and your voice. “Look, I know it’s confusing, but we’re Phooka. We were raised Phooka. I don’t give a winged pig’s shit about the people who abandoned us.”

“Then why are you so angry?”

You glance back at the tent.

“Because Karkat does,” Jane finishes for you. “You think Alekor abandoned him.”

“He did,” you say. “Shit. I know it’s not my business. Golgesi’s a fucked-up place, I don’t know what happened. It’s not like it was with me and Dave.”

“You don’t know what happened to you and Dave, either,” Jane points out.

“Yeah, but I reserve the right to be pissed about being abandoned on the side of the road as a helpless infant,” you say. “The only good thing I can say is that at least I wasn’t raised by the assholes responsible.”

She rubs a hand along your arms. You take a deep breath, then bury it deep.

“Come on,” you say. “Might as well see who’s here.”

You haven’t gone far before you run into Daria and Fadonis, the two necromancers. They both greet you with a smile. You nod as Jane returns it. You’re not stupid enough to think that necromancy is inherently evil, but it sure as fuck is creepy.

“So what’s going on with the boss?” asks Fadonis, the tuatha. “Whatever your friend said to him, he’s rattled.”

The aasimar, Daria, grunts.

“It’s personal,” says Jane, which is more direct than you would have been.

“What’s he like to work for?” you ask, deflecting any questions.

The ploy works. Fadonis grins. “He’s good. A bit crazy, but that’s normal. Doesn’t want his people dying, which is fine by me.”

Daria grunts again and waggles a hand.

“Don’t mind her, she’s just cross that she doesn’t get to raise as many zombies,” says Fadonis. “Me, I like raising the enemy better. Less dead friends. Besides, it’s sorta poetic that way. Serves the bastards right for fighting us.”

Daria shrugs and nods.

“He’s fair, and he’s tough, and he pays on time.” Fadonis grins again; his teeth are very bright. “I know you adventurers don’t care so much about that kind of thing.”

Jane flushes. “Oh, we’re not really adventurers. We’re just sort of… helping out?”

“Could have fooled me.” Fadonis shrugged. “So you need any help finding anything? We can give directions, or walk you if it’s not far.”

A stray thought occurs to you, something mentioned months before by a Lunar Lord in a place beyond the Prime Material. “Not unless you have someone from the Brotherhood of the Black Hand at this party.”

“That depends who’s asking,” says a new voice. A tall man dressed in dusty black comes sauntering in from the next camp over. He’s picking his nails with a dagger, which he uses to point at you. “Where’d you hear that?”

“Depends who’s asking,” you echo. The two of you eye each other. What he sees you’re not sure. You see a thin veneer over a lot of violence.

“That’s our cue,” says Fadonis. “C’mon, Daria, let’s see if anyone’s got decent booze.”

The two of them slink away. You and Jane turn to face the newcomer.

“Do you have a name?” asks Jane.

“I ain’t gotta tell you shit,” the man says. He waggles the dagger in your direction again. “So. I wanna know who’s asking what and why.”

You briefly consider your options, but it’s not as if there’s any reason to lie. “The Lord of Regulus told us that the Black Hand might have some information relevant to the current shitstorm.”

The man lets out a bark of laughter, then blinks. “You’re serious?” He throws his head back and laughs again. “This is too fucking rich.”

“It’s hardly a joking matter,” says Jane. She starts to step forward. You block her motion with an arm just in time. The man in black stops before throwing a knife into her path.

“Twenty-four years ago,” you say. “Maybe twenty-five by now. Thirteen people died. And my name’s Dirk.”

The man’s lip lifts in a sneer that seems to be as close as he gets to a smile. “Well, I ain’t a shitting member of the Black Hand.”

“Then why do you even care what we’re asking about?” Jane snaps.

The sneer grows. “Because what I am now and what I was twenty-four years ago ain’t the same, kid.” He looks at you. “Call me Slick. You look like one of those magic types; you any good with enchantments and shit?”

You’ve read extensively on the theory of working magic into your crafting. You’ve not had much chance to practise.

“Fucking expert,” you say.

“Don’t need an expert, just need someone who won’t blow shit up.” Slick turns and starts to walk away. “You want answers? Keep up.”

You and Jane follow him into his own small tent circle. A cheery-looking woman is sitting by a fire, boiling bandages and handing them to a halfling who rolls them with an expression of intense concentration. She waves at you as you pass.

Slick grumbles under his breath and pushes his way into a tent. “Out the way, idiots.”

The idiots are a giant of a man and a slight elf dressed in dapper black. They both glare as they step aside. You enter intending to keep a close eye on them and instantly forget to do so when you see what’s waiting in the tent.

“Found ‘em in some old ruins a week or two back,” says Slick. “Figured they’d come in handy if we could get the fucking things working, but, well...”

You can barely hear him. You’ve read about these, but you never thought you’d actually see one. Reverently you reach up to touch the crafted lines of the taller golem. It’s long and thin, taller even than the hulking man behind you. The other is short and squat, but still, you can see the same hand in their crafting.

There’s something familiar about them both that calls to you. You run your fingers across an inscription in a strange tongue and whisper their names.

_Sawtooth. Squarewave._

“Yeah,” you say, straightening up. Your blood burns with certainty that tastes of steel and storm weather. “I can fix these.”

### Suggestions Used

 _whod99 -_ Ancient enemies: unite against the undead

 _Arkanelancer -_ Casey: Make friends against all odds!

 _DArchon5 -_ Cults of Blood: Become increasingly popular and more powerful as people panic at the increasingly obvious calamities and turn to your God to pray for survival

 _bookdragon5 -_ Dirk: internally fanboy over a "Divine Golem" (Robot)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *throws chapter and runs*


	164. ==>==> Author: Recap Story So Far (Part 2)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [==>==> Author: Recap Story So Far (Part 1)](http://archiveofourown.org/works/420086/chapters/18640802)
> 
>  
> 
>  **Hero point votes:**  
>  Gamzee 4  
> Roxy 2  
> Jane 1  
> John 1  
> GAMZEE GAINS ONE HERO POINT!  
> Voting now open for the next Hero Point award: one person will get one after three chapters. 
> 
> **Current Hero Points:**  
>  John 2/5, Rose 3/5, Dave 2/3, Jade 3/3  
> Karkat 2/5, Gamzee 3/3, Terezi 3/5  
> Sollux 3/3, Aradia 3/3, Kanaya 5/5  
> Jane 2/5, Jake 5/5, Roxy 2/3, Dirk 2/3

## ==>==> Author: Recap Story So Far (Part 2)

Rose, Roxy, Dirk, Dave, John and Jane leave the halfling village, which has agreed to a defence pact with the kobolds. For a moment they wonder how they will pull Dirk’s caravan, but Maplehoof returns from the forest, now a unicorn. Roxy is trying to quit drinking, and joins the continuing prank war at John’s urging. They come across a glassy crater in the forest dating from the Bandit Wars twenty years or so before- the remains of the Brotherhood of the Blade, whose fate was unknown. Dirk picks up a doll with glassy blue eyes and Jane finds some potentially alchemical lozenges. As they search the area they are attacked by six Guards of the Sanctum from the Church of Light, believing that Rose and Roxy have been kidnapped. The party defeat their attackers, who retreat carrying their wounded. In the aftermath they discover some new powers, and learn that one of their attackers was a spy for the Church of Void who secretly helped them. Concerned about the people they have left behind, they continue on with their quest nontheless.

Aradia, Sollux, Jake, Jade and Bec get to know each other as they travel towards Porthaven. Aradia and Sollux talk about becoming adventurers as children, Aradia talks about the hidden where all tieflings go, and Sollux gets upset over the possibility that he is something like a Drider. Jake explains his family’s guns and when he accidentally shoots a frog, Jade shares her love of frogs, shortly before the party is attacked by giant frogs. They manage to fight them off, then make their escape on a boat summoned from a magical token.

Terezi, Kanaya, Karkat, Gamzee, and the Blood Adventurers set out late to give the three cave-dwellers time to adjust to sunlight. They travel to the village of Greypass where the villagers refuse to believe that they are refugees due to their weapons. Attacked by a mob, they manage to fight back without killing anyone. The fight comes to a stop when the headman of the village, Berin Holder, arrives. He apologises for their reception and invites them to his home to rest. The adventurers discover that Karkat and Gamzee are marked, and react with awe and wonder.

Travelling faster than should be possible, Rose, Roxy, Dirk, Dave, John and Jane arrive at the ruined village of Canton in the Orc Lands. They set up camp in the remains of the Temple and most of the party decide to explore the catacombs for loot, leaving Rose and Roxy to hold down the camp. The sisters discuss the politics of their situation and the probability that the High Priest of Light is making a power-play, then reminisce about their childhood. Rose is drunk by the time the rest of the party return with their grave-robbing loot. They discuss the dangers of the Orc Lands and once again the prank wars continue- until their dinner is interrupted by an orc ambush. In the orc camp they find Mohan, who is still looking for Karkat and by extension Jake- who John resembles. They also hear tell of a golden Aelfen who has stolen something from the orcs. John challenges the orc leader to a duel and wins. Impressed, the orc leader frees them, and asks that they hunt down the golden elf to return what he stole.

Having lost Roxy – who escaped on her own – the party travels in pursuit of the golden elf and finds themselves entering an ancient chamber dug into a cliff. Inside, there are chambers for each of the Celestial and Infernal gods, and they are attacked by Murder Crows and Carrionswarms. They defeat the undead birds and travel into the chamber of the Bard where they find a possessed mask that takes over Rose when she touches it. Dave escapes as the rest of the party are suborned, but drops his sword in shock when Caliburn talks to him. Roxy, who stole from the orcs while escaping then followed the rest of the party, meets him and together they launch a rescue mission. Inside the chamber they find Dirk and the unconscious golden elf. Dave manages to knock Dirk out and that seems to break the possession. The golden elf regains consciousness and introduces himself as Baldur Ikhnaton, and bows to them, claiming they are the mortal avatars of the gods themselves.

With Dirk awake again, they interrogate Baldur, who explains he is a Priest of the Starspire who saw the the gods take on mortal form in a vision from the Light years before. They are interrupted by the orcs, who have lost patience and are arriving ready for war. Roxy blows on the whistle she stole from their camp and summons the great dragon paladin Breezecaller. On the dragon’s back they are able to escape the orc army. Breezecaller confirms Baldur’s belief that they are the gods themselves, and gives them the Hammer of the Storm Brother, which can break the enchantment that has corrupted their friends.

Having crossed the Greenweald by boat, Aradia, Sollux, Jake, Jade and Bec arrive at the city of Porthaven to find that security has tightened following the “kidnap” of the Oracle of Light. They learn from a guard that John and Jane are missing, presumed either in league with the kidnappers or going after them, and manage to persuade and bribe their way through the gates. They make their way to the Waypoint Inn and at long last Jake and Jade meet their long-lost birth parents. They settle in to tell the story of their adventures, but partway through a fight breaks out between a drunk Sollux and a drunk wizard, drawing both parties into a brawl. The fight stops when someone gets badly hurt, and although the man is healed, it is too late- the Watch burst in to arrest the brawlers for breaching the peace.

In prison, Aradia dreams of her violent past before being woken up by Jake failing to play a harmonica. Their situation rapidly worsens when an assassin cloaked in grey appears and tries to kill them with Alchemist’s Fire. Sollux defeats him with magic and the guards arrive moments later. Because Jade and Jake are related to John and Jane, they explain that people have been going missing from the cells, especially if they’re outsiders to the city. People in grey have been taking them; at first it seemed legal, but now the guards are afraid. They deliberately leave the keys in a place the party might be able to reach them, and leave some disguises behind, before retreating. The party escape and, dressed as harmless elven women, sneak out during the changing of the guard. Out in the city after curfew they are chased by grey-cloaked figures and saved by the Maid of Time, who appears in Aradia’s form and gives a book to Jake before telling them to run.

Back at the inn, they are led by John, Jane, Jake and Jade’s elfparents through a secret tunnel. Jade and Jake bond over the weirdness of having extra parents that they don’t really know or feel close to yet. They come out in a maze under the Temple of the Page and are led to a safe room where the Resistance are sheltering. The leaders of the Resistance explain that the High Priest of Light declared martial law when the Oracle disappeared, and that ever since the Grey Guard have been detaining people who are then never seen again. The other Temples are being pushed out of control- the city is in the midst of a coup. Jake and Sollux wander off as they argue and talk for a while, before finding a statue of the Page of Hope. Jake has a vision when he touches the statue, of the future and the past.

Fighting for the Resistance, the party break into the base of the Grey Guard, and find reference of the disappeared prisoners being “sent to Tor Eliannan”. The journey is by ship and within five days of Porthaven. They are spotted on the way out and chased by the Watch. They return to the Temple of Hope, but thanks to a double agent it is invaded by the Grey Guard. Everyone flees, relying on the traps in the Page’s temple to help protect them, but the party run into several members of the Grey Guard who turn out to be vampires. A falling rock trap splits the party, cutting Sollux and Jade off from everyone else. While Aradia and Jake escape on a ship with the other refugees, Sollux and Jade escape to the cliffs outside Porthaven, where Sollux has a conversation with the ghost of Sir Cosbie. Since Aradia and Jake are beyond their reach, the two of them decide to seek the City of Shadows to find the tiefling wizard Marius Wordweaver.

Terezi, Kanaya, Karkat and Gamzee end up spending a couple of weeks at Berin Holder’s home while Gamzee goes through withdrawal from the drugs he was taking in Golgesi. Conversations are held about gods and what it means to be marked, and Terezi and Karkat strike up a mutual trust and friendship that surprises them. The adventurers’ employers show up and the party meet them at a picnic; a short, pale woman and a tall, dark man. They explain that they hired the adventurers to try and sabotage the person funding the drow smuggling, who is using the debt of rescuing the refugees to trick them into indentured contracts- slavery in all but name, and illegal if it can be proved. The party agree to go in undercover to help put an end to the operation. Sold to the man they are to bring down, the party wait until nightfall then enter his home in search of evidence. They find a ledger but are discovered; the rich man tries to suborn Gamzee with an offer of drugs, but Gamzee tricks and then kills him. The party are discovered by law enforcement and turn over the ledger as they are arrested.

The tall, dark man, whose name turns out to be Douglas, gets them released from prison by signing them up as members of the Adventurer’s Guild in Alftor. He takes them to the local Guild Chapter, where they encounter an elf called Tamlin calling himself the prophet of the Prince of Heart. They start to settle into the Guild and the city; on the word of a well-dressed tiefling who works with Douglas, Kanaya tries to take on an job alone and the others, Tamlin included, go to her rescue. As Kanaya has been falsely accused of evil magic by a villager, Terezi gets to hold a trial. With the help of the rest of the party, the situation is defused, and they return to Alftor triumphant.

### Suggestions Used:

ShadowsLiveOn - Author: Recap? (Especially the amulet subplot...but to be honest I just need to figure out where everyone is and what the fuck they are doing.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Recapped here: the second sorta-arc of LODAD, taking us up to around chapter 100.
> 
> I think I've fucked up Gamzee's hero points somewhere, but eh. I'm sure he'll spend some again soon.
> 
> There will be no update in two weeks time, as instead I will be trying to fix all the picture links. Wish me luck! :/


	165. ==> Jake: Be Captured Again

## ==> Jake: Be Captured Again

You are marched in the middle of a knot of green-clad ladies and hulking monstrosities through the same winding caves you were sneaking through before your most recent sticky situation. You don’t pass anyone else as you wend upwards- likely avoiding you, though you can’t say how. It is a relief at least that these particular captors are professional about the whole business. Then you realise that you’re comparing your multiple past kidnappings, and wince.

“Hey.” Aradia nudges your shoulder, jollying you along. “We’ll be okay.”

You smile back, and to your surprise you mean it. “True, but it’s a bit of a bloody inconvenience.”

One of your guards, the one with the most impressive collar, frowns at you. It reminds you of your mother’s disapproving faces. “Silence.”

You give her your most winning smile. “I say, ma’am, this is really just a tad of misunderstanding. I’m sure we could get it all cleared up-”

“Silence!” she snaps. You shut up. You and Aradia roll your eyes at each other, but say nothing more as you are led onwards. The passages you take slope upwards and grow wider; the walls grow smoother, the corners sharper, the decoration more frequent. There is no exact point when you can say you leave the tunnels and enter hallways, but after half an hour you are walking down corridors painted with dramatic murals. You’re not sure whether to appreciate the artwork of bloody battles and dramatic natural disasters, or be a bit uneasy about them. You end up doing both.

The corridors get bigger and grander and more golden. There are more tieflings about now, blue- and purple-eyed chaps who look a mite nervy about your lumbering escorts. You stick your thumbs in your waistband and do your best to look thoroughly unimpressed. It’s difficult when you are actually a little overwhelmed. This place is making the drow palaces and merrow temples seem downright dowdy.

Finally, at the end of a corridor large enough to admit a small platoon of dragons, you come across a giant pair of golden doors. Your guards stop in front of them, and some silent communication passes between them and the sentries, a pair of purple-eyed tieflings with painted faces and sharpened fangs. The sentries step aside and the doors swing open, seemingly on their own. Either magic or some clever mechanism, but you don’t get the chance to check before you are ushered through.

Beyond is, of course, a throne room. You were expecting more murals, gold, marble, grand vaulted ceilings.

Well. You were right about the ceilings.

The entire room is filled with bones. Tiefling bones, you think- the horned skulls are a dead giveaway. Dead, ha.

Interlocked bones cover the floor, rise up into columns, line the walls. At the centre of the room they rise up like a wave, cresting into a tall throne. There are steps up to it, made from long legbones. Eyeless skulls grin down at you from each arm of the throne, an immense set of dead horns rising from the back.

“Oh, blimey,” you whisper, eyes going wide. There’s no avoiding it now; you are definitely scared. And impressed. This is… this is a lot of dead people. You keep reminding yourself that. But the throne is made of skulls and bones.

You want one.

With all that, you almost don’t notice the woman sitting in the throne, which is remarkable in itself. She’s hardly the sort of dame you overlook. As you’re led closer, you realise that the throne and by extension the woman are both larger than you thought. Much larger. She must tower over most everyone you’ve ever seen, even without the long horns that rise from her head and add another three feet. Dressed in red-purple silks the same colour as her eyes, finned like the merrow, clutching a three-pronged sceptre in one hand, she is without a doubt an empress.

She watches stonily as your group approaches, then waves a hand. Your guards all take a smart step away, leaving a clear path to the two of you. Thoughts of attack and escape fizzle as she stands and descends the steps. Her grace distracts you as she approaches, and too late you realise that she is even taller than you had thought. Even the hulking monsters look small beside her.

Aradia is a reassuring presence at your side. The two of you meet her assessing stare without backing down.

“Do you know who I am?” says the woman. There is no emotion in the words.

Aradia folds her arms. You shake your head. “An… empress?”

She draws herself up a little at that. “I am Her Imperious Condescension, undying ruler of all tieflings.” She turns her stare on Aradia, before switching it back to both of you. “How did you enter the brooding caverns?”

“Ah, yes, about that.” You grin at her, although you feel it comes over a little weak. “That was an accident, really, as I was trying to tell your lovely guards over here. Won’t happen again, that sort of thing.”

Aradia nudges you. You shut up. There is a very long pause.

Something passes across Her Imperious Condescension’s face, gone too fast for you to be sure it was even there. “So be it.” She turns. “Imprison them with the other intruders.”

You and Aradia share a fast look. Other intruders could be Sollux and Jade.

The guards fall in around you again and start herding you towards the door. You look back over your shoulder and catch a last glimpse of Her Imperious Condescension, but you don’t think you take it in properly.

After all, why would the undying ruler of all tieflings be slumped in her throne, face a picture of despair?

Your journey through the corridors this time is much shorter. You’re led away from the decorated corridors to plainer hallways, and ushered through a barred door. The room on the other side is already occupied, although not by the folks you were hoping to see.

An aasimar woman in sturdy but somewhat tattered clothes sits up as the door slams behind you. “What the… Ursus, wake up!”

She shakes the shoulder of an older, grizzled Tuatha man, dozing on the bench beside her. He sits up abruptly, stares at you and Aradia, then huffs.

“And here I thought we were the only outsiders damn fool enough to get stuck down here.”

“Sadly not.” You look around the cell, noting the painted walls, the bunk beds, the screen at the back around the… facilities. “Say, this is a jolly well-appointed dungeon, isn’t it?”

“It’s still a dungeon,” says Aradia. She frowns. “We came here looking for some friends of ours. A tuatha druid and a half-elf sorcerer.”

“Jade and Sollux?” The aasimar starts beaming. “Oh, you must be Aradia and Jake!”

“Fat lot of good that does us now,” mutters Ursus. The aasimar kicks him.

“I’m Sarona, an arcanist from the university” she says. “We came down here with your friends, but got separated. As you might imagine, Ursus and I stood out in the City.”

“So they could have been captured too?” Or worse. You shiver to think of it.

“They’re not here, though,” says Aradia. She frowns, running her fingers along the bars. “That was weird.”

You turn back to her. “What was?”

“Her Imperious Condescension.”

Ursus’ brows shoot up. “You were taken before Her Imperious Condescension?”

“Why?” asks Sarona.

“That’s just it.” Aradia starts to pace along the edge of the cell. “There must have been a reason, but all she did was introduce herself, then order us thrown in here.”

You frown, thinking about the encounter, replaying it in your head. “That’s not quite it,” you say. “She asked us if we knew who she was first. Maybe… maybe she thought we knew?”

“Or wanted to find out if we did?” Aradia’s eyes widen. “She said she was undying. Jake, how old do you think she is?”

Sarona clears her throat. “Well, from what I’ve been able to ascertain, the title has been held continuously for as long as the city has existed, and that would seem to be almost as long as tieflings themselves have. The story is that the same individual has held it all that time. Of course, it could be hereditary; a cultural convention, as it were, that the current and previous rulers are one and the same.”

“Why would the empress of the tieflings care if you’d heard of her or not?” Ursus grumbles. “Likely she just wanted a look at you.”

Aradia shakes her head. “No, she wasn’t checking if we’d heard of her. She wanted to know if we remember her.”

“She knows,” you say, voice barely above a breath. Gods above and below, she knows what you are.

“Knows what?” Ursus snaps.

“That we’re gods, of course!” says Aradia.

The look you get from Ursus and Solona is alarmed, to say the least.

You hold your hands up. “I know it sounds completely doolally,” you say, “but it’s true!”

Your cellmates don’t look much less alarmed by this pronouncement. Ursus folds his arms. “If you’re actual gods, then why don’t you prove it? Use your powers to get us out of here?”

“Okay!”

It’s Aradia’s voice, but you can see her. She didn’t speak. Ursus’ jaw drops as he stares past your shoulder; Sarona gasps.

You turn to see a second Aradia standing outside the cell, holding a key and beaming. She holds a finger up to her lips. “Shh. I’ll explain once you’re out. Don’t want the sentries to hear us!”

You stand back as she unlocks the door, on the alert for trouble behind her. None is forthcoming. You all step out of the cell and huddle close. Your eyes dart between the Aradias, but there really is nothing to tell between them. They’re the same person. Somehow.

“So, about that explanation,” says Sarona.

The other Aradia smiles. “Oh, yes. I lied about that. No time, see? But don’t worry, you’ll work it out.” She turns to herself- you decide that new pronouns are needed here- and presses a hand to her other-own cheek. “The paths of time are many and marked in blood. It’s time to remember.”

Aradia frowns. “What?”

Other Aradia steps back. “And now it’s time for you to go!”

“Go?” You glance past her, towards the corner that hides the sentries. “Go where?”

Other Aradia beams again. “All the way back,” she says, and claps her hands. As the magic whisks you away, you wonder if this will ever get old too.

### Suggestions Used:

 _Name Name from Publication -_ Jake: Try to charm your way out again

 _whod99 -_ Condesce: Find out who the shell these outsiders are

 _cartesianAmbiguity -_ Aradia: Dave's been taking all the spotlight lately. Time to show that there's two Time gods up in this mess.

 _Schiatto13 -_ Future Aradia: Give cryptic advice to someone who needs it.

 _Avel -_ Aradia: Find the way back - *all the way back*.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll do the bookkeeping tomorrow. Have chapter!
> 
> *returns to shell like turtle*


	166. ==> Gamzee: Dream Up A Rescue Mission

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> RULES ON VOTES AND SUGGESTIONS HAVE CHANGED!
> 
> As of this update, everyone has ONE SUGGESTION ONLY.
> 
> Hero Point Votes are now off the table, but every update you may vote for one character. What these votes do is a secret. :D
> 
> See End Notes for more information.

## ==> Gamzee: Dream Up A Rescue Mission

“Rose! Rose! Rosie!”

You saunter on in after the Rogue, who is getting her freak out all up into the highest orders now. Didn’t seem much help in telling her that when she was tearing the motherfucking vault all apart looking for her missing matesprit, and there don’t seem no use at all in it now. At any rate, since both the Light Sister and your bro are looking up all motherfucking irritated and shit, it don’t seem as what you’re interrupting anything what can’t get its wait on.

“Rosie!” The Rogue skids on to halting in front of her sister. “Rose, John found some magic dice and he rolled them and vanished and then Frigglish talked and I don’t know what to do!”

The Light Sister raises an eyebrow. Her eyes dart to you. You give a languid shrug.

“Motherfucker all up and did some vanishing shit,” you say.

“Fuck,” says Karkat. Then; “Wait, he rolled magic dice? Did he know they were magic? What am I saying, of course he knew they were magic, why else would that empty-headed blast of gut wind decide to play about with them? I really fucking hope the world doesn’t have a giant lever labelled “pull to fuck up everything forever” because we’re fucked if that absolute wisp of a sky-fart gets within a hundred miles of it.”

The Light Sister gives him a sidelong look. You smile in pride. Maybe your bro ain’t all up to getting his wicked remember on for everything, but it ain’t escaped your notice that he just got his ranting in for what the Heir is all Breath and shit.

“Frigglish says he went to another plane!” says the Rogue. She’s looking all more wild than what you’re being, and thrusts the cat out towards her sister. “Tell her, Frigglish!”

The cat meows.

“Great, now she’s gone bugfuck crazy too,” says Karkat. It stings to be hearing the clear dismissal what is lying in his words, but he don’t so much as look your way. “Because that’s just what we need, another crack-panned shit pedaller.”

You growl softly. Karkat don’t seem to notice none.

The Light Sister turns her attention back to the Rogue. “Roxy, the cat isn’t speaking.”

“He is too!” The Rogue clutches the cat to her. “I d’know, maybe it’s ‘cos he’s my familiar, but I can hear him and he says that those were the Dice of Antares and she stole John!”

“Please tell me we are not seriously listening to this,” says Karkat. He heads towards the door. “Come on, wherever John’s fucked off to, he can’t be far.”

You grab him before he can pass you. The two of you spend a long moment staring on into each others gaze bulbs.

“Fine.” Karkat shakes your hand off and turns back in. “What does the fluffy little monster say we do next?”

“Well, we gotta go after John!” the Rogue says. The cat meows. Shit, it might be motherfucking agreement, at that.

The Light Sister sighs. “And how do you propose we do that? John is my friend too, but we don’t know where John is, let alone have the capacity to follow.”

“I know where he is,” says Roxy. “They were Antares’ dice.”

“Antares?” asks Karkat. You’ll admit you’ve got your own wonder on for what that’s being.

“One of the Lords of the Lunar Planes,” says the Light Sister. “A particularly dangerous one, by all accounts, and I truly hope that John isn’t with her. Especially as we still lack any means to cross the planar barrier.”

You scrub at your head, which is hurting something wicked on all these long words what are being used. “Ain’t you all up and got some motherfucking miraculous smoke shit up in here for that?”

“That’s fucking stupid,” says Karkat, but the Light Sister gets her thoughtful on.

“Actually, an astral journey in place of a physical one… could work.” She nods. “Yes. I think I saw something in here...”

As she gets her search on, Karkat glares at you. “You just have to open your noise-flap, don’t you?”

You shrug. It ain’t like you’re all excited and shit for the motherfucking trip what this is sounding like, but something in your deep and angry places is saying as what you’ll need John soon. “I ain't for knowing what none of them fancy words is for being, but it seems like some wicked thinking that if you can be seeing the future, the present ain't gonna be so many times as hard."

The Rogue shrugs. "I'unno. Divination's not my thing, remember?"

"Fuck, I'll do it," says your brother in blood and secrets. "More shitty magical dreams, why the depths not? This way I can get my face eaten off by a nightmarish abomination from unnatural realms and live to remember it!"

“Found it!” The Light Sister resurfaces with a cone of incense, which she sets up on the altar. “Everyone find a comfortable spot.”

Karkat is looking nervous and shit. “Just how dangerous is this one?”

“Incredibly,” says Rose, and lights the incense. “Keep one another in mind, do not interact with any denizens, and remember that if you get lost or killed during astral travel, you are unlikely to reawaken here.” She settles down on a pile of cushions. “I also suggest making yourselves comfortable for the duration.”

“Right, because it would fucking suck to wake up with a stiff neck,” says Karkat, but he settles on down anyhow. “I don’t suppose we have some plan for how we’re going to protect our necks while we’re out cold in here?” He looks all pointed at the door.

“I can assure you, we’re safe in here,” says the Light Sister. “The temple is a maze for a reason, after all.”

“We’re wasting time!” the Rogue says, and lights the incense with a flick of her fingers. You sit on in beside Karkat and pat him on the shoulder as he gets to grumbling about crazy broads and their temples and shit.

Time rolls on, dragging past like some slithering thing, all claws on stone. The smoke sneaks its fingers into you, grasping and sweet. Part of you is up roaring and choking as your head gets its fuzz on. Last time you felt like this is a place in you what stinks of shame and fear and weakness and you hate it, you hate that you went and allowed this MOTHERFUCKING ABOMINATION to TOUCH YOU, all silken cages and velvet traps in your thinkpan again. 

And then things get sharp and clear, and when you open your eyes you're seeing what motherfucking IS.

"What the fuck?" When you look on over at Karkat, you're seeing your brother in all different ways layered. He's all dressed in grey and red and rags and iron, gleaming and rusted in the same time. The magic mists around him are swirling like monsters up in the water. "What the actual shitsucking fuck?"

Beside him the Light Sister is shining like to some motherfucking beacon, blinding brilliant and blinded herself by the light. "It is a little complicated. Suffice to say that factors other than our physicality are defining our appearance right now."

“C’mon, we’ve gotta find John!” The Rogue is darkness where her sister is light, but she ain’t some normal dark. She’s an absence, a hole in the shape of a woman, a nothingness so deep it’s all come around to be something again.

There’s a white motherfucking cat beside her, and as you’re staring at it, it says “Follow me” in a wicked deep voice and starts walking off.

“Holy shit,” says Karkat.

“It seems apologies are in order,” says Rose. “But first, perhaps we should do as the cat says.”

The cat leads up to the windows, all colour and shine shifting, and walks right on through an arch that might be as some green door. You go right on after it, thinking on what it might be like mist or some shit. It ain’t. It’s more like getting turned inside to outside and then back again. You pop out the other side like one of those dwarf guns, bang!

You stagger about a bit, then realise you’ve got legs again to do the staggering. Feet, too, at the end of them, and a shining cord of light. The cord stretches on back behind you into the darkness, out of view, but you’ve got a knowing of what’s at the other end. This is the link between you and you.

The others come along beside you looking like to be themselves again, except they ain’t wearing what you know they’re wearing for real. Karkat’s in grey and the Rogue’s in blue, the Light Sister in orange and hooded and shit.

“This is not Antares,” says the Light Sister. “You will note the utter lack of oceans, ships, and monsters.”

“There’s an utter lack of fucking everything,” says Karkat. Which is the motherfucking truth- ain’t nothing to see here but shadows behind and above, and some sort of pillar all up ahead.

“I’m sure Frigglish knows what he’s doing,” says the Rogue. She cups her hands up round her mouth. “John! John!”

“He’s not here.”

When you turn again the cat’s there, only it ain’t a cat no more. It’s some sorta floating cat-ghost thing, legs gone for a tail, all see-through and just slightly glowy.

It’s got a hat shaped like a cone.

“I brought you here because this is where you need to be!” says the cat. “Don’t worry. John will join us soon.”

“Frigglish?” asks the Rogue.

“That’s right!” The cat all swoops around her, wrapping her up in itself. “In this place, we can be more of what we are- and what we used to be!”

“What precisely does that mean?” the Light Sister is asking, but you know as what that cat’s talking sense. This place feels old like the rage inside of you.

“This way!” says the cat. “Follow me!” It starts off towards the pillar.

“Great, now we’re following a cryptic asshole cat spirit towards something that isn’t the guy we’re looking for,” says Karkat. “This plan was fucking terrible.”

You don’t see what all the fuss is up and being about. Seems like you got three choices; go back, stay put, or go forward. And you’re becoming all manners of attached to moving forward.

As you follow the streak of light what the cat is being, it seems like the pillar don’t get closer or the shadow further away. The ground is moving but you ain’t, the sky a cracked mirror of stars that don’t shift nor change.

Then, in what seems like only a half-dozen steps, you’re all suddenly at the foot of the pillar. It’s bigger than what it looked, towering over you, holding up the sky its motherfucking self.

Ahead of you on the pillar is being some frosted motherfucking shine, like thick glass or ice. The Light Sister comes forward and wipes it with her hand, and suddenly it’s clear as the motherfucking lights above you.

There’s a person in the pillar. Your blood-pusher gets to pounding. There’s a whisper in your head that’s working on to become a scream.

“I know her,” says the Rogue. There ain’t no breath to her words, and there’s tears down her cheeks. She puts a hand all on the pillar. Her eyes don’t leave none the face, which is green, and like to a skull.

It sure is funny, but when you look at that face, it ain’t a her that comes to your thinking parts. It’s a _him._

“I don’t like this,” says Karkat. He backs up away. “This place… we shouldn’t be here. We shouldn’t fucking be here.”

You step up to beside the Rogue. You can hear the music, and the screams, and the whispers. There’s blood on your tongue and your teeth are feeling all fanglike and shit.

You open your mouth and the Bard starts laughing.

### Suggestions Used:

 _Hasilith -_ Gamzee: get along with the light sister surprisingly well.

 _1JakoftheMoon1 -_ Gamzee: become possessed.

 _1JakoftheMoon1 -_ Roxy: A green skeleton. For some reason this make you kind of sad.

 _mzingalwa -_ Frigglish/Jaspers: turn out to be the reencarnated jaspersprite ( leGASP )

 _Romarius -_ Rose: accidentally contact the far realms

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone!
> 
> So, last update basically got skipped because I was struck with the powerful urge to write something else. And it was a very productive writing week! Which only confirmed something I have been thinking for a while.
> 
> It's time LODAD ended.
> 
> I am now officially in the end stages of this story. I've got the last eight or so chapters planned out and I'm working on them. And then the story will be done. The update schedule may become a little irregular as I post or don't post according to my whims, but I will be aiming for the same or faster than usual.
> 
> The rules on votes and suggestions are now changed. As of this update, everyone has ONE SUGGESTION. And I make no promises about what will and won't get used. Hero Point Votes are now off the table, but every update you may vote for one character. What these votes do is a secret. :D
> 
> This has been a wild ride, but after more than five years, I am ready to do something else with my time. Here's to the end of LODAD- may it go smoothly and well!

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [==> Awaken](https://archiveofourown.org/works/1897308) by [Iblardora](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Iblardora/pseuds/Iblardora)




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